#nara / visual

[c6smic-angel]

Aya Takano meets Yoshitomo Nara 𐙚 ‧₊˚ set by @/nailsbysami_

[ratinhes]

⠀ 𝄞 ⭒ ꒰ ֹ⠀⠀𝒫 α𝗅𝗁α𝖼̧𝗈⠀⠀𝖽𝗈⠀⠀𝒜 𝗆𝗈𝗋⠀⠀◌⃘

[ouurdeal]

Lolita jeans Yoshimoto Nara

[rkivo]

yoshitomo nara

[gummi-stims]

🦌Nara, Japan🦌

[littlebeedreamer]

☪︎ ֶ֢࣪⋆𓄃 °˖➶➳

Shikamaru Nara

☪︎ ֶ֢࣪⋆𓄃 °˖➶➳

Shikamaru is another one of my sillies from Naruto 🩷 I love him SO much 🩷

[hhhyperbole]

being possessed by killer chat, so now i gotta put @tempest-of-the-pearl in it as per protocol

[freshthoughts2020]

"THRU THE VORTEX"

by

WELÇOME©: HAND DRAWN GRAPHICS

-

gettothecorner.com/welcome/thruthevortex

[moongirrl7]

come along with me

and the butterflies and bees :)

[instructionsonback]

THRU THE VORTEX 🌀

12” x 18”

By

Jaevonn™️

[c6smic-angel]

the cuter book

[heartbeatbookclub]

It's 2 am as I start this, and I feel the need to put pen to paper on this thought, so to speak, because it's something I think about with relative frequency.

This is going to be more of a personal musing on my experience with Doki Doki Literature Club, and why it had such an impact on me when I first played it, as opposed to any more concrete analysis, so I guess you can keep reading if you want to know more about me as a person and my overall personal relationship to it.

Something I think about often in reference to DDLC is its status simultaneously as a satire on visual novels and all of the tropes therein, as well as a love letter to that genre, explicitly. It's very readily apparent if you've played a good few "weeb" visual novels that it very much fits that bill. I think my first experience with it makes it especially funny in that respect.

To give context, I first experienced Doki Doki Literature Club like a month or two after it came out, in a Skype call (shows how old I am) with 2 or 3 of my friends. During this period of my life, me and this small group of friends spent lots and lots of time just hanging out in Skype calls like this, doing whatever we pleased, spending time well into the next morning just enjoying each other's presence and seeing what fun shenanigans we could get into on the internet.

One frequent passtime of ours was playing visual novels. Not just any visual novels, no; we went looking for the most low effort, mediocre, low hanging fruit of visual novels we could download for free. The goal wasn't to enjoy a good story, the goal was to find something amusingly bad, whether in cliched, awkward, lazy writing, or in sheer absurdity. I still do this sometimes, though it's admittedly with a different thought in mind now.

I don't think this perception we had of visual novels, being that they're typically sloppy, cringe-inducing messes is necessarily uncommon even now, but it was especially common back then. It was "weeb shit", simple as, but even deeper than your typical weeb shit. The perception was something like watching High School DxD unironically; it's just weird.

And I don't really think the perception of visual novels being that way is necessarily inaccurate; there is a very low bar to entry to actually creating a visual novel just by the nature of the medium, so really, anyone with enough passion for a project and time on their hands can make one. As a consequence, there are a few egregiously bad visual novels, there are a few really excellent visual novels, but there are a great many just sort of okay, somewhat mediocre visual novels, and lots of visual novels created with not so honorable goals in mind.

And one thing we really enjoyed was just exploring what existed in the depths of unpopular visual novels slipping through the cracks of what people saw. For most of it, we were making fun of it, but there were a lot of points where we found stories which were mediocre, but ended up really enjoying our experience with it. I think an important thing to understand with that lower barrier to entry is that it enables people who really are passionate about telling a story to tell a story that has a lot of heart, and you can see all of that heart as a diamond within the rough of the actual construction. Even in VNs with more polish, typically there are still cracks right around the edges, where you can see just a little bit of the humanity that goes into it. It's sort of magical.

And Doki Doki Literature Club was an odd edge case, which successfully played with all of my perceptions of it. DDLC is probably the only game whose story is reliant on a plot twist where I actually went in completely blind. By all appearances, it was a silly little visual novel made with no sense of irony, and I spent a great deal of time laughing at its contents, completely unaware that they were in on the joke.

And my perception of it being this way I feel like colored a lot of what happened next when I looked into it. I forget exactly when our playthrough ended--we didn't make it to any of the deeper stuff, I watched a Let's Play for that--and I forget how the whole series of events following that went, but somehow or another, I learned of some of the true nature. Namely I saw what happened to Sayori.

It reminded me of Corpse Party, when I actually thought about it.

I'm not going to go deep in depth on all of my thoughts about Corpse Party nor any of its history, but to be frank, Corpse Party reeeally sits in that realm of "mediocre, but lots of heart" to me. I don't really think Corpse Party is very good, particularly elaborating on a lot of the lore, but I really enjoyed it when I first experienced it, and it's still something I occasionally like looking back over. It's deliciously dark, and is extremely effective at creating an oppressive atmosphere out of what's ostensibly a collection of happy warm anime character tropes with little serious personality outside them.

So when I say that Sayori's death reminded me of Corpse Party, I mean that the way it paired playing the happy warm visual novel setting straight with extremely grim subject matter was done well.

Really, there were only a few other examples of this kind of media I could think of that really effectively utilized the exact kind of gut punch that DDLC did. Everything about the way the game framed itself around it, up until the final plot twist, really did feel like they were just elements of a visual novel playing themselves out. Sayo-nara really sets that tone for me--it still gives me chills sometimes when I hear it, because it sounds perfectly like what a "Bad Ending" theme for that kind of ending would likely sound like. It plays itself remarkably well into creating the setting, it really effectively feels like it is a normal visual novel falling apart at the seams.

I think that, more than anything, is why DDLC made such an impact on me when I first experienced it (which is remarkably different than the kind of mark it leaves on me now), it played so effectively with a genre I was so familiar with, and simultaneously played "mediocre visual novel with lots of heart" straight while also completely knocking "deep and terrifying existential horror" out of the park.

It's hard to truly describe, but there's just so much that feels so right about DDLC just being as it is. There's such a unique quality to the way it's written, to the way it's constructed, that goes down to its bones. It feels like that exact brand of junk food media you go to visual novels for. You don't necessarily want to think too deeply about the characters, or the setting of the story, or any of the deeper themes surrounding it; you just want to experience a nice story with some anime girls.

And then it yanks the rug out from under you, and makes you think it's junk food media with a side of deep and disturbing horror.

And then it yanks the second rug out from under that one, making you realize it's something much, much deeper.

I think something else it really appealed to, to me, was just that sense of being on the edge of the world which most indie games of that sort always give me. There are a shitload of examples I could give for this, but this sense I'm describing is the opposite of the sense which games like Undertale give me. Undertale's world feels lived in, it feels like it exists in a much, much wider concept of a great, sprawling world where billions of people live.

DDLC feels like you and the 4 girls in it are the only people in the universe. There are all of these environments you inhabit which ostensibly have other people who pass through them, live in them, there are implications of people, but inside this world, there's only you.

I think it just appeals to my desire to be transported to a complete other world for a little while. A limited space, where only things important to this experience exist, for this pure feeling of emotional catharsis. And that's something a lot of these sorts of simple visual novels appeal to; the goal isn't necessarily to tell some deeper story, it's just to present beats as they happen. DDLC takes that, and plays with it, both in a textual sense, as though these fictional characters exist and are somehow aware they're fictional, and in a meta sense, by directly playing around with your expectations and the way the entire thing is framed.

Or something like that.

Fun fact 1: Doki Doki Literature Club (specifically Sayo-Nara, still one of the few songs I can play entirely by memory) is what got me to start learning piano. I taught myself to play, and started mostly with the DDLC soundtrack (Which is very simple to play by ear, by the way, it's pretty much entirely C major.)

Fun fact 2: What initially inspired this thought was this video, which really reminded me of other visual novels we/I played that would utilize this particular style of music.

[k-star-holic]

Park Na-rae, open courtship "Do not look at the house and academic clique and job! Ideal type? Only face + code"

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - new entries upset the rankings

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Like most Thai BL pulps, this show doesn’t have much story to it. But I'm discovering that what it does have I actually really enjoy. I love that the gay boys got to play matchmaker for a change and I like how just GAY they are. It's nice. Refreshing.

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon. I like it. It’s old school Thai BL, but having fun with itself and its tropes. I’m not expecting much, so I don’t mind it waffling. All the couples are comfy. Chemistry is okay. Friendships are nifty. I like Pond's floppy hair. We fine. 

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - What an extremely bloody episode. And bad guy turned out to be very bad indeed. And now pretty much everyone is dead. Nice kiss. Of course. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 6 of 8 - It’s cute, they happy, not a ton happened. Random gratuitous bathing. As you do in BL. And I still think the sides should just end up in a thrupple

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they very cute. Also very silly. 

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - No. NOT THE GUITAR. YES abandon guitar for the sniff test! Love this for them. And me. My most favorite trope defeated my least favorite trope. VICTORY!!!  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 8 of 11 - It’s just so good. Baby went away, grew up, and learned how to become a temptation... and a husband. 

Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 5 eps - SooHyuk, only just surviving, reunites with YoonDae, his (brief) younger stepbrother who feels abandoned. They end up living together. The younger brother is played by Lee Jae Bin of Choco Milk Shake. OMG. STEPBROTHERS TROPE. Lucky me! Two in one season. Yay!!!! It's Korea so great visuals too. I shallow but yeah, this is great.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake. It’s utterly charming. I am charmed. Also the framing is gorgeous (of course). Very stylish.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6fin - I don’t know. Kind of a flat ending with the leads apart for most of it. I enjoyed this show but it never really hit with me. 

Summation

After a teen betrayal and resulting separation a reporter reunites with his first love. That love wants him back. I enjoyed the authenticity of a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scenes with this Japanese style of authenticity was oddly elegant but all in all this still fell a little flat for me. There's nothing objectively wrong with it, but in total the narrative felt sluggish and the main couple were just... stiff (in the wrong way). Frankly, I'd rather just rewatch Tokyo in April is. 8/10

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 3-4 of 12 - What is going on with this show? No, I get the plot. I just don't get the show or why I’m watching it. Annoying. 

It's done, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7-8fin - I can't for the life of me find the final 2 episodes. Haven't had a real hunt, but yeah. No dice so far.

It's airing but...

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari (Japan Furritsubs) eps 1-? of 10 - I may wait and binge it.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - only 4 eps, tell me if I should bother?

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/18 At 25:00 in Alaska AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

Still to Come in April

4/25 Boys Be Brave! AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - Trailer Jung Ki Sub is Kim Jin Woo's slacker friend - and secret crush. So when Ki Sub crashes at his place, his heart tingles to be near him everyday. But as the short stay turns into permanent mooch, how long can Jin Woo keep his true feelings under wraps and hold back from confessing?

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous pairing) and Best, news here. But will it actually air this month?

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Sniff test turning into a make out sesh? Please and thank you. City of Stars

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a bother.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[lifeafterartsch00l]

My fav sns smut

or some of it anyway

If Naruto x Sasuke fking nasty is your ☕️

I tried to find all these beloved authors to tag them, but I couldn’t find them all, if you know who they are, plz tag them! Let’s share the ❤️

In no particular order

Healing the Broken by KizuKatana

When people tell me about smut they read in printed books I’m like

Because it’s fics like these that amaze me with their ingenuity, creativity, originality, and boldness 🔥🔥🔥

AKA

This fic isn’t just PWP (although that’s fine too in my book), it’s so well written with character development, action & romance ❤️‍🔥 Predators by the same author is also excellent 👌🏽

Thx u @kizukatana 😊

“Chapters: 23/23

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Underage

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke

Additional Tags: Angst, SPOILERS MANGA CHAPTER 693, Drug Use, sex during drug use, Canon-Typical Violence, canon!sasuke, canon!naruto, Addiction, Slash, narusasunaru, Fix-It, my version of how it should have ended, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, NSFW, Smut

Series: Part 1 of HTB universe

Summary: The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (slash - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) language, angst, mental illness, substance abuse, masturbation, eventual sex. Not appropriate for young readers. 18+

Disclaimer - As with everything I write on this site, I don't own the characters (Kishimoto does), and I make no money. My only payment is in reviews.

Spanish Translation by Linme (thank you!) “

[doujinshi] My Lost Himawari by SouthNorthSound

Me, to the artist (and English translator) of this visually stunning and well written doujinshi -

Seriously. It’s amazing. The visual metaphors. The angst. The way the artist can simply draw a single panel of a close-up Uchiha eye that is so outrageously sultry and sexy I don’t understand 🥵 one of the extra chapters unlocked something in me (the dream one). Bonus that it’s also really funny & has a lot of respect/empathy for its women characters too! If anyone knows who this artist plz let me know I would like to follow them until the end of the world ❤️ the ending healed me 💔

EDIT HOLY S*** GUYS I FOUND THE TRANSLATOR & ARTIST ON TUMBLR

Thx u @southnorthsound 😭❤️🫡🙇🏻‍♀️

Thx u @gigihorseinthehouse 😭 I love you I low key think you’re a genius ok sorry bye 👉🏽👈🏽

"https://archiveofourown.org/works/36581581

[doujinshi] My Lost Himawari by SouthNorthSound

Chapters: 60/60

Fandom: Naruto, Boruto: Naruto Next Generations

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Hinata, Uchiha Sarada, Uzumaki Boruto, Uzumaki Himawari, Hatake Kakashi, Nara Shikamaru, Temari (Naruto), Nara Shikadai, Akimichi Chouchou, Gaara (Naruto)

Additional Tags: Fanart, Fan Comics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, SasuNaru - Freeform, NaruSasu - Freeform, Translation, Doujinshi, Fix-It, how it should have ended, Angst, If you don’t understand how they ended up like that in Boruto READ THIS, Poetic, comedic, Loyal to canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, NSFW Art, Sex

Summary: A love story consists of different perspectives and different memories. It’s about saudade / realization / entanglement / out of control / hope / restart

Chapter700 background

Warning: adult content in extra chapters

Fan comics, doujinshi. It's highly recommended to read it on big screens such as iPad or PC. So you can see details about their facial expressions

One of the best Naruto fanart I’ve ever seen. So I translated it ❤”

Inevitablity by Sanauria_Maldhun

If the answer is

A) Yes

B) Kinda

C) Mind your own business rando internet pervert

Congrats all answers are correct = GO READ IT PLZ

Possessive & desperate 🥵 super gay, delicious angst, really hot 🔥 very enjoyable - fun tropes, everything hits just right, utter perfection ❤️ I’m not saying a lot because I don’t want to give away spoilers 😍

I couldn’t find this author on tumblr, plz tag in the comments if you know who they are!

“Chapters: 4/4

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino

Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura

Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, (between Ino and Naruto), Mutual Pining, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Banter, Domesticity, Pining, Naruto is so in love, and doesn't know how to handle his Feelings, Jealousy, Jealous Sasuke, Jealous Sakura, Post-Chapter 699 (Naruto), Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Gay Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Bottom Uzumaki Naruto, Top Uchiha Sasuke

Summary: Naruto's stressed and pining after a man who views him only as a friend. Deciding to get married to Ino isn't the best decision he's made (ever), given that they had been absolutely drunk while making such a declaration, but it's... a decision. Besides, what does he have to lose?”

You’ve gotten into my bloodstream (a bite of his heart) by lovenmaze

Nom nom nom 😉 kidding! Not literal cannibalism, it’s a metaphor for love, and this fic is beautiful 😍 poetic & sexy. One shot. Love how Naruto talks to Sasuke in this one (and makes him talk, too, hehe…) 🥵 delicious, please go tuck into this feast ❤️ author made an excellent fic playlist too!

Thx u @lovenmaze 😊

“https://archiveofourown.org/works/56430019

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Not Rated

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto

Additional Tags: Cannibalistic Thoughts, Cannibalism imagery, First Time, Top Uzumaki Naruto, Bottom Uchiha Sasuke, Tender Sex, Blank Period (Naruto), Confessions, Idiots in Love, Not Beta Read, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Sex, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Smut, they’re both crazy about each other but thats not new, Poetic, Italicized Oh Moment, cannibalism as a metaphor for love, trust me it works and its SO good, consent is sexy !!!, lowkey vampire sasuke vibes

Summary: Sasuke tries to bite softly, he’s not going to eat him, maybe get a taste. Perhaps it’s stupid, but he wants to make sure, so he does. He opens his mouth, tongue touching the skin. His body shudders, and Naruto tastes warm, like skin or flesh; he tastes alive.

“A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism.”

AKA, The tender, fluffy, first-time, cannibalism (imagery), smut NaruSasu AU. [EDITED.]”

❤️Thx all u amazing authors u make me feel like this❤️

[dreamwithlost]

AMORZINHO?

❝Era um namoro escondido dos seus amigos, mas uma gafe em um jantar revela o segredo❞

Jaemin x Reader

Gênero: Fluffy, comédia romântica

W.C: 1.9K

ᏪNotas: Acho que essa foi a coisa mais sessão da tarde que já escrevi! Bem, espero que gostem meus amores, me diverti escrevendo esse pedido, boa leitura ♡

Ps: Pq a cada pedido da Mika que passa, eu não propositalmente acabo fazendo uma estética mais fofa que a outra? 😭 Eu amo, confesso

Na casa antiga onde passou a infância, a atmosfera era sempre repleta de fantasia. Sua mãe lia histórias antes de dormir, e seu pai recitava versos ao pôr do sol, como um ritual sagrado. Cresceu cercada de romances, impressos nas paredes e guardados nas estantes empoeiradas daquele casal muquirana de literatura. Mas o que você jamais imaginou era que a primeira vez em que viveria algo digno dessas histórias seria com alguém tão próximo, alguém de seu círculo íntimo de amigos.

Enquanto se preparava para sair, seu celular vibrou com uma sequência de mensagens de Jaemin.

[01/08, 19:06] Gatinho ♡: Amor, tem certeza de que não quer que eu vá te buscar?

[01/09, 19:06] Gatinho ♡: Podemos andar juntos até a esquina do restaurante e depois nos separamos.

[01/09, 19:07] Gatinho ♡: Nossa, se separar na esquina é meio suspeito, né?

[01/09, 19:07] Gatinho ♡: Então depois da esquina.

As mensagens dele sempre a faziam sorrir. Olhou para a tela e, segurando o riso, respondeu. Estavam sendo cuidadosos, pois ainda não tinham revelado seu relacionamento para o restante do grupo de amigos — aqueles que agora iam encontrar para um jantar, num domingo gélido. Não que eles fossem brigar ou se opor, mas havia algo estranho em simplesmente chegar e dizer: "Ei, estamos juntos agora!". A ideia de se tornarem o "casal chaveirinho" do grupo era o suficiente para hesitar. Afinal, quem gosta do casalzinho do grupo?

Logo você chegou à fachada do restaurante. As luzes quentes das lâmpadas iluminavam os rostos familiares de Johnny, Jeno, e Nara, que acenaram entusiasmados, mesmo à distância. Esse hábito de cumprimentar exageradamente sempre causava estranheza em quem passava no meio e se questionava se o aceno era para a pessoa ou não.

Abraçou os amigos, beliscando Johnny, que nunca perdia uma chance de provocá-la. E então tentou ao máximo conter o impulso de correr para os braços de Jaemin, que também se aproximava. Foi estranho cumprimentá-lo sem um beijo, especialmente ao ver as madeixas recém-pintadas de azul balançando ao vento, combinando perfeitamente com a estética do restaurante, quase como uma cena de filme.

— Meu Deus, você nem contou que ia pintar o cabelo! — Nara exclamou, admirando o novo visual do amigo. Voc��, instintivamente, puxou a manga do casaco um pouco mais para baixo, escondendo os pequenos respingos de tinta azul que ainda estavam ali, um segredo silencioso de que você era a responsável por aquela transformação.

— Queria fazer surpresa — Jaemin respondeu, girando para mostrar o cabelo. — Curtiram?

— Tá um gatinho! — Você e Jeno elogiaram ao mesmo tempo, trocando olhares cúmplices logo depois.

— Que isso, elogiando meu homem? — Jeno brincou, fingindo indignação.

— Calma, calma, tem Jaemin pros quatro — O próprio entrou na brincadeira, se colocando entre você e Jeno, passando os braços pelos ombros de ambos enquanto começavam a entrar no restaurante.

Vocês riram, fingindo brigar, e logo Johnny e Nara se juntaram à confusão. Quando estavam juntos, era como invocar um furacão que bagunçava tudo, envolto de piadas e flertes. Agora, com Jaemin, essa dinâmica ficava ainda mais engraçada, pois ninguém ali imaginava que os elogios trocados entre vocês dois eram mais do que brincadeira.

Ao serem recebidos por um garçom, tentaram manter a compostura por miseros cinco segundos, seguindo-o até uma mesa próxima à grande janela de vidro. Sentaram-se confortavelmente nos estofados cinzas; Johnny e Jaemin de um lado, você, Nara e Jeno do outro. O restaurante era aconchegante, com paredes de madeira antiga, plantas penduradas e o cheiro irresistível da comida local. O ambiente envolvido com copos tilintando em brindes e risadas se espalhando pelas mesas ao redor.

A conversa fluía facilmente enquanto esperavam pelos pedidos. Discutiram o cotidiano da vida adulta, repetiram mil vezes a promessa de se encontrarem mais, falaram sobre novos interesses amorosos, até que um assunto, para seu desconforto, ganhou destaque assim que as refeições chegaram.

— E você, hein, Jae? — Johnny perguntou, passando o braço pelos ombros do amigo. — Nunca mais fofocou sobre nenhum lance, e olha que você era um verdadeiro garanhão!

Jaemin quase engasgou com a cerveja, forçando um riso.

— É verdade! Devíamos arranjar uma namoradinha pra ele. — Nara entrou na conversa, e você imediatamente a encarou. — Ele é o que tá há mais tempo na seca.

— Não, gente, que isso — Jaemin desconversou. — Tô muito bem com minha vida, tipo, muito bem. Amo minha vida. — Ele enfatizou, como um marido com culpa no cartório.

— Ah, qual é, logo você? — Jeno provocou. — E aquela boate? Aposto que você quer ir de novo.

Seu sorriso se esvaiu ao ouvir aquilo. Lenta e discretamente, você colocou seu copo na mesa, ergueu uma sobrancelha e, olhando diretamente para seu namorado secreto, perguntou:

— Boate?

— Ah! — Jaemin exclamou, rindo nervoso e batendo na mesa. — Qual foi, Jeno? A gente foi lá há tanto tempo atrás, tipo, muito tempo mesmo.

— Ué, mas não faz tanto tempo assim — Johnny retrucou.

— U-ué, óbvio que faz — Jaemin tentava manter o controle, embora o nervosismo estivesse claro. Não que você fosse uma namorada controladora, mas era insegura, e aquela conversa estava começando a incomodá-la. — Foi antes do parque de diversões, né?

Afinal, foi no parque de diversões que o romance de vocês começou.

— Ah, isso foi — Jeno finalmente concordou, mastigando um pedaço de frango frito.

— E você ainda tem o contato daquela garota? — Jhonny perguntou, com um tom casual.

— Uhhh, garota? — Nara segurou seu braço, animada com a fofoca. Você fingiu empolgação, mas seus olhos estavam fixos nas íris de Jaemin.

— O quê? Óbvio que não! — Jaemin negou rapidamente.

— Sério? Mas ela era tão a sua cara — Johnny lamentou.

— Nada a ver — Desconversou, desconfortável. — Nem salvei o contato dela. Não estava na vibe, até falei isso pra ela! Ela super entendeu.

— Nossa, do nada virou um cara decente? — Nara brincou, tentando abrir um sachê de maionese.

— Sempre fui — Jaemin respondeu, voltando a beber.

O foco no rapaz finalmente pareceu se dissolver, e outras vítimas do bullying amigável apareceram, sobrando para Nara e seus relacionamentos sempre conturbados. A garota lhe estendeu silenciosamente o maldito sachê, lhe pedindo com aqueles olhinhos brilhantes para que abrisse para ela. Você riu, um pouco mais tranquila com a história de Jaemin e voltando a achar graça daquilo tudo, era estranho não poder simplesmente dizer um "mas ele ta comigo agora" para as pessoas. Era estranho como sentia tanta vontade de reafirmar aquilo.

Talvez estivesse com medo de tudo. Jaemin parecia ter saído de uma das histórias que sua família tanto amava, poderia sumir de sua vista como um príncipe encantado a qualquer momento.

— Ai! — Você reclamou, distraída em seus pensamentos, quando acabou se machucando com o sachê de maionese.

— Meu Deus! — Jaemin exclamou, se levantando e inclinando o corpo para frente, segurando sua mão. Ele observou a pequena gota de sangue que se formou em seu polegar. — Tá tudo bem, amorzinho? — Perguntou, preocupado, uma das qualidades que a fez se apaixonar por ele. Quem não sonha com um homem tão atencioso?

— Estou bem — Você riu de si mesma. — Como consegui me machucar com isso?

— Já tá bêbada, é? — Jaemin brincou, ainda segurando sua mão. — Tem que tomar mais cuidado e...

Você parou de ouvir as palavras dele quando percebeu os olhares de seus amigos fixos em vocês, boquiabertos de surpresa.

— Amo... Jaemin — Você chamou, tentando trazê-lo de volta à realidade. — Jaemin — chamou de novo, apontando com a cabeça para a mesa.

— Oh — Ele murmurou, soltando suas mãos rapidamente e voltando a se sentar.

— Amorzinho? — Os três amigos perguntaram em coro.

Você respirou fundo, preparando-se para inventar uma desculpa, mas Jaemin a interrompeu.

— Sim — Ele confessou, olhando para você. — Chega, não tem por que mentir. — Suspirou. — Nós estamos juntos. — Ele estendeu a mão, buscando o seu toque novamente.

Você a segurou com um pouco de apreensão, temendo a reação do grupo.

— Ahhhh — Jeno foi o primeiro a falar, levantando o polegar. — Por isso você estava agindo como um homem casado com cinco filhos quando mencionamos a boate.

Nara e Johnny riram, começando a especular sobre vocês com o garoto.

— A gente só não queria contar por... — Jaemin começou, procurando as palavras certas, mas você completou:

— Por medo de como isso poderia mudar as coisas no grupo. — Sua voz saiu baixa, como um desabafo. — Vocês sabem como é... A gente não queria que ficasse estranho. Afinal...

— Ninguém gosta do casal do grupo — Todos disseram em uníssono.

— Vocês a gente pode suportar — Nara tranquilizou, erguendo as mãos e juntando os dedos em um quadrado, semelhante à uma câmera — Formam um casal bonitinho de ver.

Você e Jaemin trocaram olhares, um pouco surpresos. Talvez não tivessem sido tão discretos quanto pensavam. E um sorriso finalmente brotou em seu rosto, aliviando a tensão que sentia no peito.

— Mas não pensem que vão escapar de contar como isso aconteceu. Queremos todos os detalhes! — Nara completou.

— Tipo, todos — Johnny reforçou, erguendo uma sobrancelha de forma exagerada, arrancando risadas de todos na mesa.

Jaemin riu, relaxando na cadeira.

— Certo, certo. Vamos contar, mas... — ele começou a dizer, desviando o olhar para você. — Que tal começarmos pela parte em que eu derrubei tinta azul no cabelo dela?

As risadas ecoaram pela mesa, enquanto você corava ligeiramente, lembrando-se da bagunça que foi aquela noite. Agora, com os amigos ao redor, parecia muito mais fácil compartilhar esses momentos.

— Espera... foi você quem pintou o cabelo dele? — Nara perguntou, surpresa.

— Era pra ser um segredo... — Você respondeu, rindo.

— Eu sabia que só você teria coragem de deixar ele com esse visual todo "cool" — Jeno provocou, enquanto Jaemin fazia um gesto de agradecimento exagerado, como se estivesse sendo elogiado por sua performance em um grande filme.

Entre risadas e comentários descontraídos, o clima ficou ainda mais leve. A conversa fluía, e vocês finalmente puderam relaxar. Sentia-se aliviada, como se um peso tivesse sido tirado de seus ombros. Olhando para os amigos, percebeu o quanto eles significavam para você. Aquele grupo era sua família escolhida, e agora, com Jaemin ao seu lado, tudo parecia ainda mais completo.

Porém, Johnny, sempre dramático, resolveu roubar a cena.

— Só vamos colocar um limite de quantos "amorzinhos" podem ser soltos no dia, se não eu vou — ele ponderou por um segundo, e com uma expressão exagerada de tristeza, afundou o rosto na mesa, fingindo um choro sofrido. — Chorar, meu Deus, como eu sou sozinho!

As risadas ecoaram novamente, mas havia uma ponta de verdade na brincadeira no rapaz de luzes. Jeno, sempre o amigo solidário, esticou-se para bater no ombro do mesmo, dizendo:

— Calma, Johnnyzinho, eu namoro com você, agora que essa baranga roubou meu namorado.

Mais uma vez, todos caíram na gargalhada. O alívio que sentiu ao ver que seus amigos estavam não só aceitando, mas também celebrando seu relacionamento com Jaemin, foi imenso. A partir daquele momento, a noite seguiu com ainda mais leveza, brincadeiras e histórias, cada um dos amigos fazendo questão de garantir que aquele jantar fosse memorável.

Você mais uma vez segurou a mão de Jaemin sobre a mesa, e ele a apertou de volta, sorrindo para você com aquele brilho nos olhos que fez seu coração acelerar.

Se sentiu assim, como em um dos romances que jurava não existir na realidade, mas lá estava você, com o amor de sua vida e seus amigos, em um sorriso de orelha a orelha. Haveria noite mais clichê do que essa?