#nappy valley

[mod2amaryllis]

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

tries not to listen to lemon boy on repeat while drawing this and fails. badly.

[poppeeta]

Shane in the 10 heart event

Sorry.

[gattogrigiobjd]

Candlelit by Nadine Via Flickr: Dream Valley Pocky and Soom Neo-angel Region Nappy Choo

[yourtouchismidas]

Can you write smth about Matty shutting down sexist comments about his family? Like men will be praised for doing the bare minimum with their family while women are expected to do everything as their “job”?

yes ofc i love this idea.

so i think matty walks a line with how much he talks about his children, and you, in interviews. obviously there is a large part of him that wants to keep your privacy locked down, barely any details out there about you, to never be asked. but then there is another part, which wants to tell the whole world about you. to boast. to wax on. to tell funny stories about shay's games, or brag about valley's test scores, or post pictures of the twins chubby cheeks, or to talk about gigi starting a band with her friends. he picks and chooses very carefully and on top of that it is always a family decision. increasingly though, its been hard to keep you all under wraps, because of the sheer size of the family. fans bump into him in the street when he has a baby strapped to both sides of him. shay waves at people and chatters their ears off about "daddys band" until matty has to playfully put his hand over her mouth while the fans all coo at her. names are kept secret, full names at least, but the size of his family and the little army of mattys that follows him around now is a pretty well known fact. you also run a popular book shop in london, where the band have been known to play some secret pop up sessions, and have signed the doors in the toilets which you've then framed, so fans pilgrimage there and take photos with you too, if you're willing.

so when the radio interviewer asks matty, "you've just had some new additions to the family, haven't you?" he is comfortable enough to say, "yes. i have. my twins."

"big family now huh? was that always the plan?"

"oh god no," matty chuckles. "i always wanted kids. but the how and the when and the erm volume of them just kind of happened. love them. they're the best. hi girls if you're listening. they aren't. by the way. they've got better things to do apparently."

the dj laughs. "i'm sure you're a great father. and having a dad in a band that must be pretty cool."

"erm, again, i dont think they really care. like i know to you lot, i mean to some people, im like matty healy oh my god, matty healy from the 1975 but to my daughter's i'm just dad. or if you're my eldest, you call me matty as well."

"does she really?"

"uh huh," he says, "or matthew. dead cute. it's dead cute."

"and how are you finding being on tour without them? does it get hard?"

"of course," matty smiles, starting to get nervous about how long he is lingering on the girls. he knows jamie has briefed them, but maybe not hammered it home enough. "we make it work though."

"must be hard for them to be away from you. and for your wife too."

matty clears his throat, "like i said, we make it work. everyone has a different life. this is ours. wouldn't change it."

"and is your song true?" the interviewer asks, "do you do the nappies?"

matty laughs again, more comfortable. music. talking about music.

"yeah," he says, "of course i do."

"your wife is a lucky woman. to have a hands on dad like you then. she must love it when you're home to babysit."

"babysit?" matty says, his voice hardening.

"well you know, with you being away..."

"i dont babysit, mate. they're my children. i brought them into the world too. they're just as much my responsibility as hers."

"i know i was just...."

"well dont just mate. okay. think about what you're saying. isnt it sad?"

"I mean yeah..."

"isnt it sad that you think she is lucky? she shouldn't have to be called lucky. equal parenting should be the norm. she's not lucky. you shouldnt be... no one should be batting an eyelid."

"i'm sorry matty, i didnt mean to upset you."

"i know you didn't. but think of the women you might have upset. i dont want my daughter raised in a world like that. i think you should apologize to my wife."

"i will."

"no time like the present."

"you want me to.... you want me to. on air?"

"may as well. right your wrongs now. if my girls listen back, which they wont, i need to them to know that you can hold people accountable"

"okay," the interviewer says, his voice small, "i'm sorry."

"and you're sorry to all women?"

"yeah," he says, "i am really sorry. i shouldn't have put it like that."

"by the way, for the record, my wife runs a really successful book shop as well as being a mum. we're both working parents and we both rock it. shout out to heartbeat books, soho. go buy a book everyone. they also have good coffee. love you darling!"

they cut to a song. jamie shrugs at the dj. he must have hammered it home. when they come back they talk about matty's music.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The Fitting, Mary Cassatt, 1890-1891, Cleveland Museum of Art

* * * *

I do kind gestures. Remove my appendix.

I put my ear to a flat shell and—nothing.I play the lottery ironically. Get married. Have a smear test. I put my ear to the beak of a dead bird—nothing. I grow wisdom teeth. Jog. I pick up a toddler’s telephone, Hello? — No answer. I change a light bulb on my own. Organize a large party. Hire a clown. Attend a four-day stonewalling course. Have a baby. Stop eating Coco Pops. I put my ear right up to the slack and gaping bonnet of a daffodil—. Get divorced. Floss. Describe a younger person’s music taste as “just noise.” Enjoy perusing a garden centre. Sit in a pub without drinking. I stand at the lip of a pouting valley—speak to me! My echo plagiarizes. I land a real love plus two real cats. I never meet the talking bird again. Or the yawning hole. The panther of purple wisps who prowls inside the air. I change nappies. Donate my eggs. Learn a profound lesson about sacrifice. Brunch. No singing floorboards. No vents leaking scentless instructions. My mission is over. The world has zipped up her second mouth. ― Sanity, by Caroline Bird Source: Poetry (February 2019)

[pinene]

Sanity

by Caroline Bird

I do kind gestures. Remove my appendix.

I put my ear to a flat shell and—nothing.

I play the lottery ironically. Get married.

Have a smear test. I put my ear to the beak

of a dead bird—nothing. I grow wisdom

teeth. Jog. I pick up a toddler’s telephone,

Hello?—No answer. I change a light bulb

on my own. Organize a large party. Hire

a clown. Attend a four-day stonewalling

course. Have a baby. Stop eating Coco Pops.

I put my ear right up to the slack and gaping

bonnet of a daffodil—. Get divorced. Floss.

Describe a younger person’s music taste as

“just noise.” Enjoy perusing a garden center.

Sit in a pub without drinking. I stand at the

lip of a pouting valley—speak to me!

My echo plagiarizes. I land a real love plus

two real cats. I never meet the talking bird

again. Or the yawning hole. The panther

of purple wisps who prowls inside the air.

I change nappies. Donate my eggs. Learn

a profound lesson about sacrifice. Brunch.

No singing floorboards. No vents leaking

scentless instructions. My mission is over.

The world has zipped up her second mouth.

[thatyamiguy-blog]

Karma is a rhyme’s with witch (ben 10)

If there was two thinks Ben couldn't stand, it was the smell of dirty diapers and being in boring museum's. And because the powers to be were THAT jealous of how awesome and cool the 10 year old hero was, they had decided to punish him with both.. Or that was Ben's theory anyways. The trip to this boring old place was meant to make Gwen feel better as she had started to need diapers after trying to cast one too many high level spells. Or so she claimed. Ben for his part figured Gwen was just one of those big babies you see on TV now and then and was bluffing grandpa about how the price of magic was baking brownies in the seat of a pamper. They were looking at a bunch of old dead dudes who had been TP'ed or something, Ben wasn't really listening when a loud fart filled the room and Ben groaned even as Gwen blushed. "Anyone who values their nose run! run for you life!" Ben said in a over the top voice, coming over and before Gramps or Gwen could stop him, tugged Gwen's pants down to her ankles, flashing her thick white diapers that had forced her to start wearing baggy cargo pants like Ben to the crowd. "B-BEN!" Gwen cried out, going red as a tomato and starting to fertilize herself even as she tried to bend down to tug her pants back up. All this did was present her smelly butt to the group they were with, getting snickers and laughs and cries of 'oh dear!' as her diaper filled out, big lumps making it sag cartoonishly in the back as her eyes rolled in her head, who mouth forming a 'O'. "BEN!!" Gramps growled, coming over now and Ben let out a yelp. "Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you enjoyed our show of the worlds biggest nappy baby. they'll be later showing at 1, 3 and 5. Don't forget to tip your tour guide." Ben said and then took off running, easily out pacing gramps who was left trying to pick between staying and helping Gwen or chasing Ben. As always, Gwen won.

Gwen was a sniffling wreck as Gramps helped her get her pants tugging back up, or tried to, but of course her uber load had made her diaper WAY to big and stinky to fit back inside of them. which meant that with his help, she had to step out of them and cowboy walk to the nearest ladies room to change herself, Gramps waiting waiting outside for her. 'I'm gonna kill him! wait no, I'm gonna hurt him so bad he'll wish for something as sweet and merciful as death!' Gwen fumed, in a stall and cleaning herself up, wrinkling her nose at her own smell. She could of used magic to clean herself up but well, All that did was make it so she'd have to go again even sooner and one poopie diaper in public was enough for today, or at least that was the plan. Then she heard two girls come in, talking with valley accents and giggling. "OMG, did you SEE that stupid big baby pooping herself? Like, LOL!" One giggled, heading for a stall. Instantly Gwen used her mask to mask the smell of her stinky diaper, she didn't wanna be busted mid change after all. "Like, I know! Diapers at her age? Like, grow up already!" the other one said, taking a stall by the other. Gwen huffed softly in her stall, tempted to ball up her diaper and lob it at one of their heads, but there was one one smelly diaper and two of them..and she'd likely get in trouble for that. 'then again.. guh.. I can already feel the magic doing it's work.' Gwen thought, her tummy gurgling and churning a little. finishing up with her change as quick as she could, she was forced to listen to the girl go on and on about what a dumb baby 'that diaper girl' had to be. Gwen was changed and ready to go, just waiting on the valley cunts to finish up before she came out and wondering what to do with her dirty diaper..she did NOT wanna leave it in here or carry it with her for the rest of the tour. Once she left the stall the spell would fade and anyone who walked in here would know what she did (She wasn't thinking rationally enough to think that most people would just assume it was a un-flushed potty) and yeah, leaving a stink trail as she walked around with it in her purse bag/diaper bag was a nay nay. she wasn't going to be using magic for the rest of the tour so she could be fudging her huggies non stop for the rest of the day, no thank you! a evil grin came to her face as the girls left, and Gwen knew exactly what to do with the diaper, to get rid of it and start her revenge on Ben. with a glow and flash of magic the balled up stinky diaper was gone, and in it's place was Ben's pillow, minus it case which was where the diaper had been deposited. 'your not the only one with a sick sense of humor Ben.' Gwen crackled and left the pillow behind, walking out of the bathroom.

'Ok..so I managed to avoid getting a spanking for now, embarrassed the big dumb diaper baby..all wins.' Ben thought as he walked around, all by himself and in some sort medieval wing of the museum. 'Butttt on the other side, I'm totally freaking lost, and I'll have to face the music sooner or later.' eh, that was future Ben's problem and with the omimatrix Ben could always turn into Xcler8 and just zip around the museum till he found a way out. looking over some of the displays for things that were used for public punishment, he noted that one was a stock, like he'd seen in some movies. there was a BIG sign by the stock saying NOT to touch it or place yourself in it and well, to someone like Ben that was a written and signed invitation. "Oh this has a bad habit of shutting and getting stuck suddenly. like, what kind of a doofus would let themselves get trapped by this old thing, and I'm sure that with THESE guns I could break myself free!" Ben said, reading the rest of the warning and then flexing, giving each one of his noddle arms a smooch, then added. "I bet it doesn't even move, that's just to scare people away." deciding to prove his point to no one but himself, Ben bent down and put his arms and head in position, smirking all the time. "See? Just a stupid dumb war-" He started to says, But the vibration of him talking while resting on the stock making it shake enough, and the top came down the latch snapping into place though there was no padlock at least. "-Ning..Uh.." Ben gulped nervously, but tried to keep a smile on his face. "this is no big deal..I can get out of this." He said to himself, but he could hear the fear in his tone as he tried to jerk himself upright. But between the latch and the wooden seizing up however nothing happened and Ben was starting to turn pale and shake now even if he kept some bravo in his voice. "Ha..Ok..Clearly I didn't put enough muscle into it."  He squeaked out and tried again.. and again.. then over and over doing nothing but wearing himself out. "LET! ME! OUT! YOU! STUPID! THING!" Ben cried out. unsurprisingly the stock didn't listen and with Ben's hands stuck he could even try and go alien. "...Is this what karma feels like?"

Gramps and Gwen decided to split up and try and find Ben before going back to the tour. Partly because Gramps was responsible for his safety, partially because he had a punishment coming his way and finally because a bored Ben in a building filled with priceless artifacts was just begging for trouble. As Gwen walked the halls and looked over the different exhibition's she found herself half wishing she could stay and study them more and half wanting to get this over with as her tummy was making loud gurgles now. Hindsight being what it was, she realized now that making use of her magic to hide she had been in the middle of changing into a clean diaper had been stupidly short sighted as she was getting close to making anther smelly diaper as she came to a fork in the road so to speak. One way lead to the medieval exhibit and the other to a Ancient Greece one, but as she stood there she heard a voice she knew very well shouting for help, coming from the medieval exhibit. "Help! Anyone! I'm stuck! I need the jaws of life! I need a doctor! I need a cheeseburger!" Came Ben's voice. '...And just like that fate has smiled down on me.' Gwen thought and smirked, her tummy gurgling and she patted it. 'Hang on just a little longer, I have plans for you.'

The last person Ben expected to see/would of wanted to see while he was trapped like this was Gwen, so it was only natural that it would be of course HER that came walking in. it really only confirmed his belief that the higher powers to be had it out for him. "well well well, what DO we have here?" Gwen asked, her voice filled with delight as she walked over, crinkling and leaning down, a HUGE smile on her face. "Awww, Looks like Benny went and got himself stuck in the nasty old stocks!" "Ok Gwen, I know I'm not your favorite person right now, But I'm kinda freaking out here so if you could ju-" Ben started to say, but Gwen put a finger to his lips. "I'd be a good boy and shut up and let me talk right now or I might just take off and 'forget' where I found you. I'm just a big dumb baby after all, isn't that what you keep calling me?" She asked. "..Is there a answer that won't make this worse for me?" Ben whimpered. "heh, wow, smarter then I thought asking that! and to answer your question..No there isn't. Let's see.." and Gwen turned her attention to the warning, making sure her pampered butt was by his face and noting from the corner of her eye he was trying (and failing) to get away from it. "Geez Benny, I know reading isn't your strong suit unless it's a comic book but even you should of known better then to stick your head in there!" She tsked. Her tummy gurgled big time and a muffled fart came out, Making Ben cry out. "Gwen gross! come on, are you trying to give me pink eye!?!" Ben whined. "Get your smelly baby butt out of my face!" "..heh. Ben, what makes you think your anywhere NEAR a position to give me orders right now?" Gwen asked, standing up and and giving him a smile that would of made Vilgax wet himself. "..What if I told you I'm very very VERY sorry right now?" Ben tried, giving Gwen his best pleading look. "I'd tell you to kiss my diapered ass." Gwen said and then started to undo the front of her pants, and set her bag down. "In fact..that's what your going to do Benny. if you want me to let you out of there? Your going to kiss my diapered ass." her pants were don around her ankles now and she kicked then off then turned around and wiggled her butt, inching it close enough to Ben's face he could give it a smooch. "ARE.YOU.INSANE!?" Ben yelled. "I'M NOT GOING TO KISS YOUR BUTT!" "heh, Oook.~ But just keep in mind. I gave you a way to avoid this since despite everything else we're family." Gwen said. "..Avoid wh-" Ben started to ask and then Gwen's butt was planted right in his face, smothering it. "SO glad I went and filled myself up again for this!" Gwen crackled and then gave a big grunt and it was all her tummy tum needed.

Ben wasn't AS stupid as most people assumed, he had poor impulse control that was for sure, but he instantly knew WHAT was about to happen when Gwen's fat diaper butt was pressed against his face, even before the nostril searing fart was let go. with a follow up sicking blort, the seat of Gwen's diaper grew warm and pressed up against his face..the big dumb baby was crapping herself! Depending on how you looked at it Ben was either lucky or unlucky that he'd had the foresight to close his mouth just before she had mashed the thick pamper on his face. Unlucky in that it meant he was forced to huff the fumes that came out as her diaper filled up, going from warm to HOT lumps the smushed his adorable face. But lucky in the fact he didn't have to worry about her diaper expanding into his open mouth for the worst possible gag ever. even as the diaper grew and pressed around his face Ben had JUST enough air to breath, even if it was tainted with Gwen's funk and if he stained he could hear her over the thunder of her gas. "Ahhh that's better! you know Benny, with you huffing and sniffing it all up, I'm barely getting a whiff of my own stink! I think we should do this more often!" She cackled, and pulled her butt away for a second. Ben knew what she was hoping for, that he'd go to speak up and kept his lips sealed and got the full (And still filling up..lucky him..) diaper smashed back against his face. Ironically, it was the very thing making this so horrible that was keeping him from getting a busted face as she kept butt thumping his face with her smelly rear: the diaper gravy was the perfect pillow. 'And yet I'd take a bloody nose or a black eye over this..' Ben fumed to himself, he was SO telling on Gwen once he got out of this! a few more bumps to the face and Ben was sure he was going to be smelling Gwen's stinky diaper for the rest of the summer and she pulled away, turnaround and smiling at him then looking over her shoulder, then turning back with a frown. "Damn. was hoping I'd get a imprint of your face in there..like silly putty." She huffed as she finished up. "Whew..I am one STINKY baby!" She added, sniffing the air and then waving a hand, then chuckling as she locked eyes with Ben. "But of course, I guess I don't need to tell YOU that huh?"

Gwen wasn't sure if it was the fumes from her own diaper or just the adrenaline high from tormenting him like this but she was riding high and getting giddy. The only downside was Ben was being a big old FART and keeping his mouth shut, just glaring at her. "Whats wrong? Cat got your tongue?" She asked and leaned down to tickle his chin, then recoiled and made a over the top gross out face. "Oh yuck! you smell even worse then my diaper! How is that even possible!" She lied. "I DO NOT!" Ben yelled and struggled, finally breaking his little vow of silence. "Well, maybe not, but your gonna need like, at LEAST 2 showers once you get out of there.. speaking of which..Would the little diaper sniffer like to earn his freedom?" Gwen asked sweetly. "YES!" Ben cried out, blushing and squirming. "What do you want?!?" "Heh..I'd say you have a short term memory problem buttttt you were just huffing a poopie diaper for like, five-Ten minutes there so I'll let it slide." Gwen laughed. "W-Wait it was ONLY that!?! It felt like a hour!" Ben cried out. "Heh, well there's a whole theory and all that to explain THAT away, but it'll go over your diaper huffing widdle brain." Gwen teased and found herself wishing she had a dunce cap to put on Ben's head. 'oh well, there's always next time he gets himself stuck.' she thought to herself then out loud went on. "I told you Ben, if you wanna get out of there, your gonna kiss my ass. Actually wait.." Ben's eyes lit up with hope for a second, which was just so funny that after what she had already done to him, he honestly thought she'd start being merciful now? She went over to her diaper bag/bag purse and pulled out some light pink lipstick she always kept on hand (you never know WHEN your gonna run into a hottie and started back over to Ben, doing a cowboy walk because of the epic sag in her huggies. "Pucker up..Because your gonna SHOWER my diaper in smooches, and gush on and on about how much you looove my stinky diaper and how you only made fun of me because you wish you could have lots of stinky diapers of your own~" Gwen said. "..Why the HELL would I do that!?!" Ben asked, growling and thrashing around. "Because if you don't, well, there's that little stool over there that's part of a display and it's JUST tall enough..that where I to say.. Change my diaper and put it on there, and then put it under your chin.. you'd be trapped for gosh! who knows HOW long with my stinky diaper as a pillow!" Gwen said giggling with pure delight, part of her almost hoping Ben would refuse to kiss now. Still she wasn't disappointed either when Ben gave out a defeated whimper, then puckered his lips for the lipstick.

As bad as having to wear the pink lipstick was for Ben, (And it was BAD!) He knew it was only going to be the tip of the iceberg so to speak for what would come next, and wasn't shocked as Gwen made sure to use not only her phone but his own, set up at different angles to capture 'true loves kiss' as she kept calling it. "Now remember, I want you to REALLY sell it, I wanna believe that my stinky diaper is the love of your life." Gwen snickered, then with a wave of her hands and kick starting anther soon to be mess they were filming. as she nudged her butt into frame. "Uh..Come here so..I can kiss you." Ben said lamely, and Gwen sighed and used her magic to pause to the recording. "Really Ben, THAT'S your idea of romance? sheesh, your gonna be single for the rest of your life. Think about that movie I made you and gramps watch the other night.. this isn't a poopie diaper, it the girl of your dreams and you have to woo her." Gwen instructed. "Can't I just kiss the stupid diaper and get this over with?" Ben huffed, then gagged a little realizing he shouldn't of huffed. "Look either do it MY way, or I take the highway and put up the signs saying this exhibit is closed. now come on! from the top!" Gwen said. 'Just my luck, I don't JUST get a insane cousin who wants me to make out with her fudge packed pamper..I get a wanna be director.' Ben thought and rolled his eyes. "Alright..I'm ready." "Andddd action!" Gwen said, turning the recording back on, Ben knew that the more magic she used, the sooner she was gonna be crapping herself so using that as his motivation really dive all in. "Oh my darling, how long I've been without you, please, grace my lips with your tender embrace!" Ben said, pulling the line from the horrible puke inducing movie Gwen had forced him to watch, and making her snicker and cover her mover..then in a badly disguised muffled voice, she replied. "Oh But Ben, I'm just a stinky poop filled diaper, do you truly wish to kiss me?" "..More then Live itself. I LOVE poopie diapers, For you see I'm Jealous that Gwen gets to make you and just wish to wear you and kiss you, come to my lips and let me paint you with the mark's of my affection!" Ben coo'ed, trying not to gag from the smell and the words coming out of his mouth. 'i deserve a friggen Oscar for this!' he thought. "Oh Ben! you know just how to charm a woman! kiss me you lipstick sissy!" Gwen cried out behind her hand and then brushed her smelly rear close enough that it was practically in his face but it would have to be Ben's choice to smooch it. ..and the boy was hesitating. "Ben, why don't you follow though on your words? don't you love me, a stinky diaper?" "I..I do..the..thought of kissing you..fill me with such.." and Ben paused and swallowed hard. "Excitement I found myself frozen but for the moment." with that he closed his eyes and gave Gwen's butt a quick smooch. "Oh my darling! you do love me!" Gwen cried out and shoved her butt in for a deeper kiss and pulled back, looking over her shoulder and giving Ben a look. her meaning was clear, there was to be no half assing it and Ben tried to lose himself in the moment, thinking about sumo slammers, comic books, anything else as he gave kiss after kiss to Gwen's fudge packed huggies to the point his lip stick had been worn off his lips. between the fumes and smooching Ben was actually dazed near the end and was kissing the air for a few seconds as Gwen finally pulled away, turning the phones off. "And that's a wrap." Gwen giggled.

In the aftermath of the smooching, Ben's brain seemed to be semi fried, or at least that was Gwen's  take away as she snapped her fingers. "How we doing Benny?" She asked. "I..I ..Blah buh da dee.." Ben mumbled and gurgled. "Well spoken!" Gwen said with a snort."Come on, earth to doofus.." Ben shook his head and his eyes seemed to clear up as he looked at Gwen's lipstick kiss covered diaper butt and huffed. "..You are a horrible horrible person." He huffed. "Awww don't say that, I'm the one that made the love of your life possible!" Gwen said and chuckled. "Or do I need to replay your declaration of loooove?~" "...Just get me out of here." Ben huffed. "Sheesh, no please? and here I thought your parents taught you manners!" Gwen said and wagged a finger. "Still I suppose I SHOULD keep up my end of the deal." Gwen started to waddle over to the edge of the stock, getting a hand out to blast it free with a burst of magic..then gave a slasher smile. "but then again, since you loooove stinky diapers so much I have a better idea!" She said and went behind Ben, yanking down on his pants and undies. "GWEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!" Ben yelped and shouted, squirming and desperately trying to get free for all the good it would do him. "Duh, I'm reuniting you with your lover..Just wanted to tug the pants down to make sure when I do the spell it won't just goes over them." Gwen said coming back into view. "..wait..you don't mean..your not gonna.. Gwen that's gross!" Ben said, connecting the dots. "Wow Ben, harsh. Saying all that true love jazz just to get smooches and then backtracking when your girlfriend wants to commit." Gwen huffed and wagged a finger. "I think a little quality bonding time is just what you crazy kids need, you'll thank me later for saving your relationship." "Gwen don't you DARE-" Ben was starting to say but Gwen was already firing a blast of magic at Ben's crotch and one at her diaper, and in seconds her stinky filled diaper was secured around HIS hips, with a added spell or two in place and Gwen got got busy getting a clean diaper on, ignore the wail that came out of Ben. "Sheesh, it's just a dirty diaper..don't be such a crybaby."

For the first time Ben could see (well feel) just what it was about being in a stinky diaper that normally had Gwen all huffy and upset as it just felt icky and gross. Of course adding into the fact it wasn't even HIS poopie diaper he was wearing. "I..I.." Ben whined, eyes welling up with tears."Gwen please let me out of this! I'm sorry for all the teasing I ever did! pleasssse!" "Hmmm, Let me think..Do I let you out of the stocks, out of the poopie diaper and try and put this all behind us..Or do I leave you here with a spell on your lips making you gush how much you love diapers AND direct people to this exhibit. Tough choice.." Gwen said as she got her clean diaper on and tugged up her pants. "Y-You wouldn't!!" Ben yelped, then hung his head as much as he could. "..who am I kidding. you totally would." "awww see? your learning! Oh and by the way, there's a few added charms to the spell..but I'm sure you'll figure them out all on your own.In the meantime..Have fun!" Gwen said and a blast of magic hit Ben's mouth. He went to go and tell her that she was a sick bitch, that he would SO get even with her for this..but instead he found himself grinning like a fool and worse.. "Hee hee holy moley, I SURE do love my big STINKY diapies! stinky diapers are JUST the best! thank Gwen for leaving me like this!" He coo'ed. "Heh..your welcome doofus."

Walking out of the exhibit, Gwen made use of a fill marker boards to give directions to a semi new attraction that the museum would be offering, a once in a lifetime display of the worlds smelliest nappy baby who would be gushing all about his love of stinky diapers, though the smell wasn't for the faint of heart.  as a after thought she added a piece of advice about not forgetting to tip your tour guide much like the advice that Ben had given before at her expense, then marched off, calling up gramps. "Yeah, I haven't been able to find him and my tummy is acting up..I'm gonna go and camp out in the rust bucket in case he turns up there AND to avoid making any scenes." Gwen said. "Well Ok..I'll keep looking for him here. Where have you looked so I don't waste time double checking?" gramps asked. "The medevil exhibit is clear, I know that much for sure." Gwen lied. After a few more pleasant exchanges Gwen waddled her way out to the rust bucket, feeling better then she had since she had started needing diapers again. "it's amazing just how therapeutic it can be putting a jerk in his place." She mused. looking around she noticed that she was running low on her diapers, only having 3 of them left  while her diaper pail was loaded to the brim. Now before this would of been a big problem for Gwen but since she had already taken a step or two..or forty on the dark side she figured she couldn't really damn herself any worse and smirked as she got ready to make the dirty diapers clean with a little magic, and having the perfect target for the mess to end up at.

Mentally Ben was screaming and sobbing, as people kept laughing and snickering at him while snapping pictures. apparently Gwen had posted the video she'd taken online too because he was hearing comments about how he was the smelly freak from twitter and YouTube and the like. Of course Ben couldn't even defend himself as he just kept gushing about his love of poopie diapers, and told everyone how much he LOVED going boom boom in his diapers as well. 'At least I had a big crap before we started all of this so I won't end up making this worse.' Ben thought, temping fate apparently as all of a sudden there was the weirdest feeling in the seat of his lipstick stained diaper. he couldn't see it naturally but a portal was opening up in the back of his diaper, and with a sick farting sound the mess from the used diapers in the rust bucket was being dumped into his already full diaper! "Ewww I think the loser is crapping himself again!" A kid cried out, holding his nose. 'No i'm not! Gwen's being gross and making me a diaper pail!!' Ben thought but with a HUGE grin on his face he giggled and nodded. "Yup yup! I'm making my stinky diaper even STINKER! I love pooping myself! it's the bestest feeling in the whole wide world! Well 'cept for being SPANKED in poopie diapers! who wants to spank the baby?" he called out. thankfully, there were no takers.

With the diapers cleared out and cleaned, Gwen found herself wishing she could of seen the look on Ben's face, but figured she'd get her chance since the spell she had worked would make it that from now on every time she loaded her diapers, it would end up in the back of Ben's pants..whether or not he was diapered. 'And the spell works until -I- decide to call it off~' Gwen mused, laying on her back in her bunk now, looking over the comments and hits that Ben's video was getting and then squealing with delight as a link to a new video was posted in the comments, and it was Ben making use of his diapers in the museum. "Ha! I LOVE technology! all of the fun of watching him suffer and known of the stink!" She coo'ed. the video ended as a couple of security guards made their way onto the scene, Gramp's with them and Gwen sighed. "well fart nuggets..I wanted him to suffer longer." She pouted but then shrugged. "ah well, can't win'em all."

Max was less then pleased with Ben, who couldn't come up with a valid way to defend himself as he was freed and then Max, Gwen and Ben were all banned from the museum for life. of course he had a feeling Gwen knew more about this then she was letting on since he had been somewhere she said she had checked he just didn't have it in him to deal with all of this today, deciding that was future Max's problem, not his. Marching Ben out to the rust bucket, he pointed for him to get inside. "I can't even deal with you kid's right now. If you need grampa he'll be across the street at that nice bar. PLEASE change your diaper before I get back." Max grumbled. "What? and give up my true love?" Ben asked, still under the effects of the spell. "..whatever. I'm getting to old for this shit." Max grumbled and walked away.

The spell on Ben's mouth was broken as he slowly dragged his massively filled diaper butt into the rust bucket, the diaper was sagging below his knees and he had to assume the only reason it hadn't burst by now was magic. "Holy cow, you STINK!" Gwen said, Smirking and looking down at Ben from her position on the top bunk as he waddled towards his bed. "I hate you so very..very much right now. " Ben huffed, just physically, emotionally..every way he could be drained and flipping Gwen the bird flopped down into his bunk, face going right into the pillow. and finding the surprise Gwen had left for him that even she had forgotten about. "Really Gwen, a poopie diaper in my pillow case!?!" Ben whined. "Wasn't all of ..of..THIS enough!?" he asked, as she peeked down from her bunk into his and saw him gesture to his bloated diaper. "Heh..yeah ok.. you got me there. I'll take care of it." Gwen said and held out a hand. "Wait just get rid of it do-" Ben tried to say, guessing what she was gonna do then crying out as anther mess was added to the back of his diaper, though the pamper pillow was clean now. "Your welcome! try and get some shut eye dork..I have a long night of pooping ahead and you'll be handling the fall out." Gwen cackled and then pushed herself back up onto her bed. "Oh Joy..I can hardly wait.." Ben grumbled. "Well if you want me to start early.." Gwen called down. "N-No! Later is fine!!"

At some point Max had stumbled back in, and assaulted by the stink coming from Ben, had broken down and changed the little guy into a clean diaper as it was clear he was gonna be a pants pooper for the foreseeable future and diapers were easier then washing underoo's over and over. the treasure was dumped in a trashcan outside and he went to his own bunk, conking out and having a dream about the nice good time when all he'd had to worry about was alien monsters trying to destroy the earth but his grand-kids weren't big diaper babies.

It was around midnight when Ben woke up, his tummy cramping and he staggered out of his bunk. he was happy to find his crap loaded diaper had been changed though less pleased about the fresh diaper. Still, he figured given time he could convince gramps that Gwen was behind all of this and get him to make her stop, but for now he was oddly looking forward to using the potty. 'Heh..go figure..only took being forced to wear a shit swelled diaper to make me appicate riding the procerlin throne.' Ben mused. His waddle to the bathroom hadn't gone unnoticed however and Gwen smirked, mentally counting down in her head even as Ben shut the door. 'And right about..NOW!' She thought and bore down, unloading a epic load into the seat of her diaper, though it wouldn't stay there for long even as a blast of magic from her opened the bathroom door so she could watch the show. Just like she had expected, he'd gotten to the potty and had been about to yank the diaper down when her mess had started to flood into the back of it, and boom! he fell backwards planting his butt on the shitter. Between her load, the toilet water soaking it and Ben's own load coming out, his diaper swelled up comically and Ben was actually lifted up off the floor, his legs kicking as he cried out. ..he was stuck! Figuring this was a good place for the little stinker, Gwen poofed a pacifier into his mouth with a nursing instinct to go with it so he'd be unable to make a racket and then waving night night to him from her bed, shut the door. "..Maybe I should of opened a window for him..eh..whatever." Gwen said as she finished pooping Ben's diaper and then snuggled into bed for a good nights sleep.

The end

[punk-a-cat]

The hetronormative stuff on the shelves is not my thing, plus as I live in an area which is 80% retirement villages and the rest is nappy valley, the book selection is aimed at oldies and small children, the fantasy section barely exists, and lbgtqa+ novels are non existent.

To clarify this, the town I live in has a total population of around 4k people, so tiny, and the library is tiny and can't possibly hold enough books to suit everyone so they cater to those who use it most - retired people and parents with small children

As a young librarian, I started trying to figure out why more young people aren't ever coming in; 90% of our demographic are the elderly and parents of children, and the rest are a rough mix of the kids and teenagers who come in just for school projects. As a result, I've been attempting different ways to get the Youth TM to come into libraries, but first I wanted to see why they don't come in. Please reblog to get this poll out to more people! <3

[6peaches]

Caroline Bird - Sanity

I do kind gestures. Remove my appendix. I put my ear to a flat shell and—nothing. I play the lottery ironically. Get married. Have a smear test. I put my ear to the beak of a dead bird—nothing. I grow wisdom teeth. Jog. I pick up a toddler’s telephone, Hello?—No answer. I change a light bulb on my own. Organize a large party. Hire a clown. Attend a four-day stonewalling course. Have a baby. Stop eating Coco Pops. I put my ear right up to the slack and gaping bonnet of a daffodil—. Get divorced. Floss. Describe a younger person’s music taste as “just noise.” Enjoy perusing a garden center. Sit in a pub without drinking. I stand at the lip of a pouting valley—SPEAK TO ME! My echo plagiarizes. I land a real love plus two real cats. I never meet the talking bird again. Or the yawning hole. The panther of purple wisps who prowls inside the air. I change nappies. Donate my eggs. Learn a profound lesson about sacrifice. Brunch. No singing floorboards. No vents leaking scentless instructions. My mission is over. The world has zipped up her second mouth.

[asidesandbsides]

Starts With W, Part 1

Wadsworth Mansion - Sweet Mary / What's On Tonight

So many one hit wonders to be found in this collection! "Sweet Mary" is a jaunty little tune with a bit of frantic percussion on the bridges. I do enjoy a good tempo change mid-song. The production isn't very impressive on either side, especially for "What's On Tonight." Or maybe it's just that the lead singer doesn't quite have the voice for rock records.

War - Slippin' into Darkness / Nappy Head (Theme from "Ghetto Man")

Ooh, this one sounds very good. Listen to all those little sounds in the beginning! "Slippin' into Darkness" is one of the all-time funk tunes, excellently arranged and performed in a monster groove. The single version is too short, but alas, it is a single version. "Nappy Head" is a gorgeous instrumental, and the sound is so rich coming off this disc I am left wondering why it didn't get played more.

Dionne Warwick - I Say a Little Prayer / (Theme from) Valley of the Dolls

The sound is quite a bit thinner on this disc, but it is still a beautiful song. This has never been my favorite rendition of "I Say a Little Prayer," but I'm not about to pit Dionne and Aretha against each other. I actually like her singing better on the B-Side, "Valley of the Dolls." The record is still a little worn down (a little crackly on the big swells), but up to a certain point that doesn't matter. It's just beautiful.

We Five - You Were On My Mind / Somewhere Beyond the Sea

I nice bit of folk-pop harmony singing on "You Were On My Mind," complete with those obligatory jangly 60's folk guitars. I've always liked this one. The B-Side of this reissue is "Somewhere Beyond the Sea," which is the same as "Beyond the Sea," which is of course the same as "La Mer," except not in French. I don't know that it works that well in the folk context, the strumming is just a little too frantic for my taste.

The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again / I Don't Even Know Myself

I don't even know if I've ever heard the single edit of this song before, and it's jarring just how much they've cut out. It's like they've cut out whole songs worth of just one song. Not a great A-Side, if you ask me! Even a six minute edit would have been better. So I turn my attention to the B-Side. I've never heard "I Don't Even Know Myself" before either, but that's probably my fault for being a fake Who fan. It's not quite A-Side material, but it is a good piece of music, with almost a honky-tonk character in places. Both sides are a little worn down, but not too badly.

Jack Wild - Some Beautiful / Picture of You

Mostly an unremarkable pair of pop songs, better on the instrumental side than the singing. I did a little reading on Jack Wild, and it didn't make me feel any better about the way the entertainment industry cares for child talent. Kind of depressing.

[yorkcalling]

Video: Sarah Segal-Lazar - Earlier

Montreal, Canada-based singer songwriter Sarah Segal-Lazar has been called the “Femme Fatale of Folk.” She’s been performing music since she was in nappies but has only just hit our radar thanks to her new track and video, taken from her new album Valleys. It’s called Earlier. Continue reading Untitled

[pronouncingitwang]

[image text:

Sanity

By Caroline Bird

I do kind gestures. Remove my appendix. I put my ear to a flat shell and—nothing. I play the lottery ironically. Get married. Have a smear test. I put my ear to the beak of a dead bird—nothing. I grow wisdom teeth. Jog. I pick up a toddler’s telephone, Hello?—No answer. I change a light bulb on my own. Organize a large party. Hire a clown. Attend a four-day stonewalling course. Have a baby. Stop eating Coco Pops. I put my ear right up to the slack and gaping bonnet of a daffodil—. Get divorced. Floss. Describe a younger person’s music taste as “just noise.” Enjoy perusing a garden center. Sit in a pub without drinking. I stand at the lip of a pouting valley—speak to me! My echo plagiarizes. I land a real love plus two real cats. I never meet the talking bird again. Or the yawning hole. The panther of purple wisps who prowls inside the air. I change nappies. Donate my eggs. Learn a profound lesson about sacrifice. Brunch. No singing floorboards. No vents leaking scentless instructions. My mission is over. The world has zipped up her second mouth.

/end ID]

fuck does anyone have that poem thats like the speaker used to press her ear to conch shells when she was a child but as an adult the world has closed its second mouth or something

[djmossback]

Spacebar Arcade-Third Space Saturday

July 15, 2023 BEGINNING 2100 HOURS, ENDING July 16, 2023 0155 HOURS

THE TRACKS

Wire, Ahead (12" 45 RPM cut)

David Bowie, Let’s Dance (12" Long Version)

Olivia Newton John, Magic (7" 45 RPM)

Pointer Sisters, He’s So Shy (7" 45 RPM)

Human League, Love Action (LP cut, Spanish Pressing)

Michael Jackson, Rock With You (7" 45 RPM)

Naked Eyes, Promises Promises (7" 45 RPM)

Dry Cleaning, Scratchcard Lanyard (7" 45 RPM)

Dan Hartman, Instant Replay (12" 45 RPM long version)

Animotion, Obsession (7" 45 RPM)

Sylvester, You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (12" 45 RPM cut)

Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls (12" cut long version)

Siouxsie & The Banshees, Spellbound (12" 45 RPM cut)

Kate Bush, Sat In Your Lap (American EP version)

Winston Curtis, Be Thankful For What You’ve Got (Soul Jazz comp)

Nappy Roots, Awnaw (12" Long Version)

Soul II Soul, Keep On Movin’ (12" Nellies 7" Version)

ZZ Top , I Thank You (LP cut)

Toto, Hold The Line (LP cut)

Bee Gee’s, Jive Talking (7" 45 RPM)

Cars, Give Me Some Slack (LP cut)

Ting Tings, Shut Up And Let Me Go (LP cut)

PiL, Bad Life (12" 45 RPM cut)

Gap Band, You Dropped A Bomb On Me (LP cut)

Bobby Brown, My Perogative (7" 45 RPM)

Sade, Hang on To Your Love (7" 45 RPM)

Paul McCartney, Coming Up (7" 45 RPM)

Cheryl Lynn, Got to Be Real (7" 45 RPM)

Apollonia 6, Sex Shooter (12" 45 RPM cut)

SOHO, Hippychick (12" Long Version)

Bush Tetras, Too Many Creeps (7" 45 RPM)

Amii Stewart, Knock On Wood (12" Long Version)

Blondie, Rapture (12" 45 RPM cut)

Wreckz-n-Effect, Rump Shaker (12" Radio single version)

Rick James, Super Freak (12" Long Version)

TLC, No Scrubs (12" w/Left Eye rapVersion)

Positive K, I Gotta Man (12" Version)

Confidence Man, What I Like (LP cut)

Lakeside, Fantastic Voyage (LP cut)

Average White Band, Pick Up The Pieces (LP cut)

Crashers, Flight To Jamaica (Soul Jazz comp)

Afrika & The Zulu Rangers, Cars (Zulu Club Mix)

Heatwave, The Groove Line (7" 45 RPM)

Dazz Band, Let It Whip (7" 45 RPM)

Funkadelic, One Nation Under A Groove (7" 45 RPM)

Laid Back, White Horse (12" 45 RPM cut)

Cameo, Back & Forth (12" 7" Version)

Sylvester, Do Ya Wanna Funk (12" 45 RPM Long Version)

Jay Z, Hard Knock Life (LP cut)

Thundercat, Them Changes

Grace Ives, Loose (LP cut)

Mos Def, Ms Fat Booty (12" Version)

Max Romeo, Blood Of The Prophets (LP cut)

Booker T & The MG’s, Green Onions (7" 45 RPM)

Stanley Clarke, School Days (LP cut)

Toots & The Maytals, Monkey Man (LP cut)

Cate Le Bon, Moderation (LP cut)

Londonbeat, I’ve Been Thinking About You (12" 45 RPM cut)

Fatback, King Tim III (personality DJ) (Soul Jazz comp)

Sleaford Mods, U.K. Grim (LP cut)

Plague Vendor, Black Sap Scriptures (LP cut)

Dee Sharp, Rising To The Top (Soul Jazz comp)

Anadol, Gôrünmez Hava (LP cut)

Marshall Watson, Sweet Sounds (EP)

Everything But The Girl, Caution To The Wind (LP cut)

Tasting Notes

Everytime I spin I learn something. The first thing I learned tonight was show up earlier, and make sure the gear is in working order. Second thing I learned was that I need to learn about the board. Still, I made fewer technical errors than ever before, and some of the segues were quite good. But, the baseline is: did you do damage to the vibe?

The opening was fraught with technical miscues, bad volume control, but thanks to Julie, we got things ironed out, and the set proceeded apace. And, it was busy. The barstaff were running hard all night, and the Treasure Valley Roller Derby showed up post match in full force. Those people know how to get down.

Stayed close to the familiar in the early going, just trying to get my feet underneath me. Horror Grace and Nicky Mustard were there early, and left early to go eat. I didn't play anything earlier than 1974, and Mustard only listens to things made before 1967. So they made a wise move. They missed the Booker T record I played late.

Dj Dusty C and DJ Brose came by and said hi, and Miss Allanna Love took my drink orders. Which kind of took my breath away. Minerva occupied a place on the bar for a couple of hours as well, so there was a high celebrity count in the house.

I had intended to downshift between 1 and 2, and I kind of did, but Cyberjewel asked me to keep the tempo up, since the bar staff was flagging and tired after a brisk and lively night. As you know, I don't take requests. I'm limited in the number of records I can bring to the booth, and I kind of have a good idea what to do, but I really don't hate hearing what people want to hear. It gives me ideas, and helps me read the crowd. And, it may put in motion record aquisition strategies for subsequent sets.

In any case, I did use the last hour to experiment a little bit, play less familiar tracks, and new things that I have, just to see how they play on the system. That is a continual process. Some records, while enjoyable to listen to in other settings don't jump off the turntables, and cut through the noise. And, some things work better at other times in the set, depending on what you play before or after. For instance, the Nappy Roots track I played didn't work in the place I put it. And I didn't eq it right either. I have played it before, and it has worked. Last night it didn't. Oh well.

I got some new (to me) compilations, The Dollar Bill, Y'all collection of the first decade of rap records from Beat Goes Public, and the Life Between Islands compilation on Soul Jazz. Both are amazing. I played a couple tracks apiece from them, and will hit more as I get into it. I also got the Disco Reggae Rockers compilation in the mix. IGA turned me on to that, and I played Flight To Jamaica in his honor, even though he is thousands of miles away.

That Anadol record was a real reach for me. And it worked where I placed it. Plague Vendor is a weird SO CAL band that play short songs, the singer yelps, and they kick it. I like it, people are mystified. The new EBTG is killer. I played one of the two uptempo-ish tracks to good effect. And that Marshall Watson record is one of my favorites this year!

Next set is August 19th. Hope to have some fresh 7" records in the box. Maybe we see you there.

MSSBCK

[londiniumlundene]

Lost London: Walking the Falcon Brook

Note: this walk was completed in early December 2020, before London entered Tier 4 restrictions, and before the start of national lockdown in January 2021.

After the meeting of its Hydburn and Streathbourne branches, the Falcon Brook continues in a north-westerly direction, still running below residential streets, until there is a sudden shift on reaching Northcote Road, where things take on a more distinctly middle-class high street feel. This is the so-called “Nappy Valley”, a line of shops and cafés following the valley carved out by the Falcon Brook between Clapham and Wandsworth Commons. It’s also very busy at weekends (particularly if London has just emerged from Lockdown 2.0 and has yet to experience Tiers 3 or 4…).

Dodging the parents and toddlers out for their dairy-free lattes and organic/gluten-free cakes, as the walker approaches the end of Northcote Road and the start of St John’s Road, another hint of the river emerges. The shops on the western side of the street follow the line of the river, which curves away from the line of the road.

 A more obvious link to the river is found at the Falcon pub; whether it took its name from the river or (like the river itself) from the rising falcon crest of the lords of Battersea Manor is unclear. 

At the same junction as the Falcon, the walker can also see the Edwardian baroque building that was once Arding & Hobbs department store (until recently it was a branch of Debenhams), and the rebuilt Party Superstore, a notable casualty of the 2011 London riots.

The Falcon Brook carries on following the course of Falcon Road, taking it under a large railway bridge adjacent to Clapham Junction station – which was once more appropriately (the station being a mile from the nearest end of Clapham) known as Falcon Bridge. Once under the bridge, the Falcon references come thick and fast, with Falcon Grove, Falcon Terrace, Falcon Glade, and The Falcons estate.

These traces of the river do not last for long though, its route suddenly turns west, joined at this point by another subterranean stream, the Heath Brook, and the underground waters run below tower blocks from the 1950s, 60s and 70s. Beyond these it runs underneath the small green space of York Gardens, which is next doors to the Falconbrook Pumping Station, built for handling storm water when the river’s sewer becomes full – flooding from the Falcon Brook is common in this area.

After York Gardens, until the 1960s the walker would have been able to see the mouth of the river as it met the Thames; here it was known as Battersea Creek, and was once used as a dock for the now-closed Price’s Candle Factory, much of which has now been converted into shops and flats. Besides a more modern car showroom, a large green stink pipe reveals the location of the covered river.

A short walk along a footpath besides a landscaped pond (it doesn’t seem to be directly connected to any flowing waters) brings the walker rather suddenly to the Thames; after much of the walk offering little traces of the Falcon Brook, it feels like it is quickly lost again.

[onedivinemisfit]

Obiyuki Shapeshifter!AU - Shirayuki bio

Starting anew the project that I sidetracked myself from so long ago 😂 I got too distracted with general character design and such, but now that’s out of the way, maybe this should be swifter swimming~

Some general info of the lassie. While Obi is the vagrant with the obvious messy background, there are quite a few mysteries to Shirayuki’s background too. In some ways, her coming to Wisteria Valley was not a coincidence - of all nearby regions, only one with history such as the Valley would be willing to overlook the gaps in her stories.

After all, no fox is made outcast for no reason at all. >:3

Shirayuki deals in herbs and foraging, mainly, and does basic healing, which is especially useful since her den is on the border - the scouts can come straight to her for first-aid, rather than run all the way to the interior territories to seek the volva. She’s also very good at stitching, and has been commissioned to sew together blankies and nappies for baby kits. ;3;

AnS (c) Akizuki Sorata

Art: Me

[onlytruestfacts]

Pidge Considerations

Bad sketch is bad, because bad hands are bad!