#napattack

[bitawit]

< I wish I knew more about guns so I could really write this properly. But let's practice the old "fuck it, we'll fix it in post" mentality with it. >

-#-#-

I detested firearms. I'll be happy when they finally banned them. They are brutish. They lacked finesse. It was only a step above hitting someone in the head with a rock.

I will never truly understand why someone with magic would choose the explosive brunt force of a bullet over a perfectly handcrafted spell. But I assumed it was the same reasoning people use when they choose beer over a cocktail, it ain't fancy and gets the same job done. Taste be damned.

Still, I can't deny the efficiency of the mechanism.

Which is why, despite my obvious distaste, I find myself drawing my sidearm more often than my wand.

In the grand scheme of things, the quicker a perp is subdued, the better it is for everyone involved. There are only a few spells pre-approved for our government issued firearm, which has been charmed to only fire for me and to protect itself from any attempts to remove it from my grasp.

They all have their official names, but to me they are as follows:

NapAttack, DogTreat, Stoplight, IceBath, and Chillpill.

MY favorite is Ice Bath. It's a sober up spell. Intoxicated people are unpredictable. Plus it's pretty funny when someone realizes they wasted 50 bucks at the bar and they're not even drunk anymore. Also the sobriety lasts for 8 hours and they still get the hangover. It's an extremely effective deterrent among the college crowd.

I haven't had to use Stoplight yet, but my buddy in highway patrol says they use it every day. Either to slow speeders down safely or to stop high speed chases. Only works on vehicles. When they were still working out the kinks, some kid realized the spell didn't work on Rollerblades for some reason. So for one hilarious week until they could fix and reissue our weapons, there was an insane amount of convenience stores being robbed by people wearing inline skates.

NapAttack and Chillpill are very effective deescalation spells. Chillpill is used on a lot of our mental health crisis calls, it places the individual into a non-combative subdued state. They may still be experiencing that mental health crisis, but they won't attack when someone tries to help them. NapAttack is to subdue suspects that become a danger to themselves or others, puts them right to sleep. Those spells only last five minutes each though, so we do extensive training on what to do once those individuals wake back up. But those five minutes have saved more lives than I can count.

Dogtreat is pretty self-explanatory. Turns the most aggressive backyard guardian into your best friend. And after the whole "inline skate debacle" the department covered their bases and it works on every kind of domesticated animal imaginable. From cats to cows, you've got a new best friend.

Our fish and game guys have a wider range of animals, obviously, same with animal control. But it's a useful thing and I've used it quite a few times.

Funny enough, the idea came from a letter some elementary schooler in Kalamazoo wrote to the governor. Gained a lot of traction on social media. She said animals get scared just like people and that she didn't want the police to hurt her dog if he bit them because he was scared. That kind of feel-good policy gets people reelected, and so DogTreat was born.

There were talks of adding a sixth spell, people like the idea of having a "six-shooter" on their hips. But all other spells can be done with a wand and some would be completely inappropriate coming out of the barrel of a gun.

If healing spells didn't require so much concentration, I'd love to add Bandaid to my kit. But we'll see what they come up with next.

All in all, a lot of people thought magic would fall out of favor when guns became popular. And in some parts of the world that true.

But most countries realize that battle magic than can be customized far outweighs the benefits of a bullet.

So far.

Everyone thought that the mass-production of Firearms would render Magic obsolete in battle, but Spellcasters have adapted. Instead of casting from a wand, most mages now cast from their gun.

[mklopez]

Uh, seems that #NapAttack finally happened. Good thing I was in my sofa and not in the car.

[akwardkisses]

Sully is always living his best life. #poverty_hill #homestead #sully #hesastar #lovemyflerkin #crazycatlady #catmom #stayathomecatmom #napattack #countryliving #ruralpa #simplelife #slowliving #myhappyplace #myhappylife (at Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/COUNz3in6uP/?igshid=lkkbknor9flp

[keithdecent]

Accidentally took a 4-hour nap at 7pm, got up, went out to the shop, and immediately solved a design problem I’d been mulling over for a week. Rustic/modern drawer pulls. Zero dollars. Big improvement over the medieval madness that was previously installed. ————————————————— #renovation #reclaimed #woodworking #woodworker #napattack #rusticmodern #rusticmodernkitchen https://www.instagram.com/p/B_Egt5vhJ6k/?igshid=1eiccce00ip5k

[beatrixandmarigold]

Very good napping weather today #snoozycat #napattack #catnap #floof https://www.instagram.com/p/BwhtDnShb2h/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=66oe3xr8gknm

[jaciblues]

Sometimes you do what you can to get attention before your nap attacks #tabbycat #catproblems #tabbylove #catstagram #instacat #rescuecat #napattack https://www.instagram.com/p/CDkiLKfnHQ7/?igshid=42c1xxcca5z5

[petsarepeopletoo]

When it's too much trouble to get all the way in the bed, but you still want to be comfy. #dogs #dogsofinstagram #shihtzu #shihtzusofinstagram #dogsleeping #dogbed #napattack https://www.instagram.com/p/CC8bxu0gsfr/?igshid=iscs083wtesc

[jamber15]

It’s nap o’clock! The boys, bringing in the new year right. 😂 😻🐶 #keepitclassy #dog #cat #perro #gato #inu #neko #swissy #tabby #brothers #besties #bestfriends #animal #nature #napattack #GoodJobJack #GingerBadger https://www.instagram.com/p/B64G4tVg78u/?igshid=1o56fduvkg94q

[twinkiespot]

Nap time with Frufina the Mousie.

[thediscerninghoarder]

Long weekend. Took lots of pictures. In the last 2 and a half weeks I have posted almost 200 things in my shop. Here's a sweet sleeping bag. #thrifting #etsy #garfield #vintage #napattack

[mklopez]

In case of imminent #NapAttack , open Spotify and play Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. #tmi

In case of imminent #NapAttack , open Spotify and play Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. #tmi

[thebirdybabe]

Tired little guys... 💗😴💗 #stlpets #sleepyboo #cutestbirds #eviltwins #goffins #cockatoos #goffinscockatoos #birdparty #sleepypets #cutepets #suddenlytired #napattack https://www.instagram.com/p/BuC5UnhHE6A/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1mn8atykktvgl

[gidionkeep]

I think he’s comfy. #WicketsWorld #TooCute #napattack #dogsofinstagram #terrier #terriersofinstagram

[taylormadepaciparadise]

Suddenly nap attack! #rottiesrule #rottiepups #happypuppies #happydaddy #rottweilers #gentle #love #unconditionallove #napattack #rottweilerpuppies

[supertheatrica]

Nightttime slumber 😴✨🌜 . . . #sleepytime #napattack #mhmm #glow #colors

[darcystree]

#napattack #MissDori #sleepykitty #cutecat #catsofinstagram #garfieldcat