#naedeenh

[strangesmallbard]

MINTHARA & THE DARK URGE —There is something about you that disturbs me. The moment we were alone together, something changed. I felt it, and you must have felt it too. The Absolute fell silent. How is that possible?

[strangesmallbard]

T h e D a r k U r g e. Whatever that is. That is you.

[strangesmallbard]

wretched thing! pull yourself together!

[strangesmallbard]

something fun i do re: bg3 roleplaying is partially manage my inventory according to the character’s preferences. for example, my bard talice loves collecting anything pretty, so i often have her pick up miscellaneous stones and jewelry pieces. she also loves raunchy fiction, so those get sent to camp immediately; she’s always running out of inventory space. my selûnite vaala, meanwhile, rarely picks up anything extraneous due to her ascetic upbringing. exceptions include wine bottles (she loves a good red), sheet music (she loves to play the lute & sing), and anything she thinks her brother would enjoy (mostly heretical documents and history books).

and then naedeenh, my half-drow durge, has a particular inventory quirk—a backpack she fills with assorted meaningful items. gifts from people she helped or who showed her reverence (alfira’s mentor’s lute and komira’s locket), unique trinkets (soul coins and love letters found on corpses), and her human skull collection. (she thinks they’re neat! pay no mind to the freshly severed heads in the storage trunk).

i’m sure this isn’t original LMAO but it’s a fun way to make every playthrough feel unique!

[strangesmallbard]

naedeenh’s romance trajectory so far:

immediately had Self Recognition Through the Other upon meeting astarion; was genuinely thrilled to learn he’s a vampire. after letting him kill her that first night, she was like 1) okay NEVER do that again 2) unless i specifically ask you to 😃 they become mutually obsessed with each other, sleeping together post tiefling party.

at the same time, naedeenh immediately liked gale. she thought he was funny and strange! the orb situation overall adds to his appeal; she’s just pissed he didn’t tell her. when he develops genuine affection for naedeenh’s elaborate performance, she simply doesn’t know what to do with that information. so she asks astarion to bring her to the brink of death again

(astarion at this point Does care about her and is like. let’s go murder that gur over there to cope instead! no reason haha)

she knows in her brain (somewhere) that she needs to turn gale down during the weave scene but she doesn’t 💜 she likes being liked and gale is nice and funny and has a bomb in his chest. he also thinks wild magic is hot! what could possibly go wrong

MEANWHILE meanwhile she meets minthara at the goblin camp and feels this instant, insatiable pull toward her. not self recognition through the other or lust but a secret third thing. there’s a strength and brutality to minthara that calls out to her urge, and a softer curiosity that calls out to Naedeenh. (or whatever is left of her now.)

then minthara immediately microsggresses her and naedeenh decides she has to die by her hand. she wants minthara to KNOW naedeenh is going to kill her. and be kind of impressed. who said that

at the tiefling camp battle, however, naedeenh can’t bring herself to finish minthara off. she doesn’t understand this and doesn’t want to (yes she does). so she personally heals minthara and brings her to safety, making sure she’s conscious enough to realize that naedeenh is the only reason she’s still alive now. and be impressed. WHO said that!!!

fast forward to the shadowlands: naedeenh is completely swept off her feet by gale’s weird astral projection sex scene. she’s like i CAN be loved and loved in return this is great. it simply doesn’t matter how i actually feel about gale it’s the vibes that count.

astarion sees right through this and is like we gotta stop sleeping together i am not getting into a stupid love triangle with gale. she’s like >:( but it’s for the best honestly. they bring out the worst in each other. i’d call them chaos twins but that feels weird in this context. you get it

she sees minthara during that trial and is completely arrested by her entire situation. she cannot bear to see minthara hurt—by anyone, including her. this is very confusing because minthara also sees right through her performance and keeps questioning her motives, which she usually hates so so much.

she also seems to respect naedeenh’s boundaries and perspective and personhood. who knows why naedeenh keeps following her back to her tent to deep talk and ignoring her very nice boyfriend

ANYWAY! she tells minthara about the urge one night, hoping to find a kindred spirit. instead minthara goes “i kill because when it’s necessary and i also choose who to kill” and naedeenh is like you can do that??? you can do that??? (it’s never the killing that’s the problem; it’s the lack of choice)

she barely manages to not kill gale when the urge takes over. she gets very “would you still love me if i was a worm” afterward and he says yes and she believes him and how can this possibly go wrong :)

minthara: if your urge wins i will not hesitate to kill you; naedeenh, with insurmountable relief and lust: haha and then what? 😜

(astarion is pretending to be very amused while pacing his tent at night in concern and bitching to shadowheart about it over stolen barrel wine the next day. he’s still drinking naedeenh’s blood at this point it’s a meditative routine for both of them).

and we JUST got to baldur’s gate!

having too much dedication to the Narrative when playing rpgs means i just had to make naedeenh down minthara 😭 like she needs to fuck up her relationship with gale so badly he becomes an unreachable god first but HELLOO PLEASE just let me control when cut scenes trigger. this is why i play the sims

[strangesmallbard]

highly recommend playing a chaotic neutral durge. post!nautiloid naedeenh isn’t mad about the murder for moral reasons she wants control of the situation. if she wants to do murder that’s HER business not DAD’S business

[strangesmallbard]

naedeenh is a fun durge to play bc she’s completely amoral, but with a desire to be loved and adored (by specific yet seemingly arbitrary people.) then there’s the prolonged psychological effects of having parents who unconditionally loved her and believed she could be good, who she can’t actually remember. then there’s the overwhelming guilt she felt after killing them, which she also cannot remember and feels nevertheless. leads to MANY bewildering situations for her companions.

[strangesmallbard]

having too much dedication to the Narrative when playing rpgs means i just had to make naedeenh turn down minthara 😭 like she needs to fuck up her relationship with gale so badly he becomes an unreachable god first but HELLOO PLEASE just let me control when cut scenes trigger. this is why i play the sims