#n7 99

[legionofpotatoes]

Happy N7 Day to everyone and especially to Swaps who commissioned me for a cover to a deeply meaningful story she had been crafting for a long time. It was such a privilege and joy to arrive at this image!

Go give it a read!

Cover art by the utterly phenomenal @legionofpotatoes!

Mezzo

Pairing: mshenko | Rating: M Tags: Canon-typical violence, trauma, dealing with your problems poorly, body autonomy struggles   Summary: The twists and turns of ME2, through the eyes of everyone but Commander Shepard. Chapter Summary: Death was the only way

Chapter 1: Stars | Read on Ao3

At first, you think you can survive this. Your ship is in pieces, your momentum catapulting you away from the wreck, the planet you call Alchera watching serenely as your life burns. You tell yourself, you’ve faced worse. The first time you fought death was the first breath you took, into lungs that weren’t ready, in a body too small and fragile to survive on its own. You struggled for days in a vessel adrift between our stars, an insignificant speck of heat in our cold universe, determined to burn as bright as a sun. When your mother finally held you for the first time, she showed you to us and asked if we were what you were in such a hurry to see for yourself. You have always been ours. You were ours when your father sang you to sleep while we gleamed through the shutters. You were ours when you rose for the first time on unsteady legs because you wanted to see us. You were ours when you felt our power come to life under your skin and understood that we are part of you in ways you’d never imagined. How many times did you palm the glow of dark matter in your hand and imagine you were one of us? But no matter how bright you burn now, it won’t be enough to save you. There is fear, now, but you swallow it back.    The second time you fought death it wasn’t your life you were fighting for. You begged, pleaded, to march into the unknown and rescue a father who didn’t come home, and when no one listened, you turned to us in the dark and begged to take his place. That was when you learned we could be cruel.   We felt your pain, we heard your anger, we wi ditnessed your tears and did nothing. And you forgave us. We wonder if you will forgive us now.

Read the rest on Ao3 | The Mezzo Playlist

[miynt0012]

[SIM DOWNLOAD] Lumine | Genshin Impact

maxis match | four outfits | full cc list

I found some hair that looked like hers and sooo this happened.

I’m quite pleased with the result, tho I’m 99% she’s the only genshin character I’ll ever make lol

ps, her name in the gallery is gonna be hotaru (her jp name), since that’s the name I use the most :P

please don’t share my sims / pictures of my sims on the gallery or on any other platform

DOWNLOAD: mega

edit: since the high-waist shorts are no longer available on the link provided, you can download them here!! All credits go to the original creator ofc!

cc list:

skintone

lamatisse - bare skintones

genetics

NSW - perfect eyes shaping(mm eyebags n2, mm eyelids n5, eye prest n10) | NSW - eye colors | yooniesim - imperfection teeth set | NSW - bodycare kit (female torso mask n2 mm, cleavage mask n6 mm overlay) | NSW - skin n7 kit (skin n7 mm overlay) | stretchskeleton - maxis match-y eyebrows (01-06 merged) | PYXIS - about face (skin details) | luumia - skin features (lip tints) | remussirion - nose mask 04

hair

simandy - mimori hair 

makeup

pralinesims - blush n25

accessories

oydis - make or break collection (long coffin 2 nails) | oydis - nuit jewerly set (necklace star) | magic bot - fingernails polish 7v | magic bot - classic thights set (ripped thights) | eunosims - nail set | simpliciaty - ephemeral chocker

clothes

belaloallure - off duty cc (ayres cargo pants) | simandy - drown in the night (bad habits jacket acc) | seoulsoul - basic techwear (halter top) | trillyke - go baby pants | manueapinny - bab bab set (open chest crop top) | ms-marysims - maxis match set (high-waist shorts) | rusty's - basic sleeveless t-shirt | babyetears - mirror skirt / jacket leather moonlight (mirror skirt) | ren okamoto - jenn top  

shoes

MMSIMS - dr. martens molly shoes | seoulsoul - girlboss boots set (high boots) | jius - sweety&salty collection (platform heeled boots 01)  

extras

joshseoh - universal hair overlay | kijiko - ea eyelashes remover | NSW - female new year collection (lips presets n33-41, lips presents n1-9) | evoxyr - bad memory nose presets | hellfrozeover - hip dips slider 

+ cc I couldn’t find online (+ the tattoo I made myself from this image, which is blurry as hell because I can't use s4s, but at least it exists), included in the sim’s folder (3 files)

additionally, the following add-ons have been used:

nifty knitting

a preview of her outfits:

please take a look at my TOU before downloading!! thank you!

[queen-scribbles]

15 Questions for 15 (?) Friends

Tagged by @keldae

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: Nope. Middle name was suggested by an aunt, but it's all just bc my parents like the sound/meaning

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Uhhhh... can't remember.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Not of my own, but I love the kids I watch(ed)

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: There was a very quickly failed attempted at basketball in middle school, and a single tennis lesson that "showed promise", but the place was too far away to make it a thing

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: Sarcasm? From me? What on earth would give you that idea? *quietly hides Patron Saint of Snark blog title*

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: Clothes, especially anything that I can clock as geeky for a shared interest(I do in fact geek out when I see people wearing N7 hoodies in the grocery store, and I'm 99% sure one worker was wearing the CR TravelerCon hoodie)

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: Green. (Supposedly, according to one definition I read, they count as heterochomic bc I have a light brown ring around my pupil then the rest is green, so since it's two colors... but to me heterochromia is each eye being a different color so Idk how much I believe that article)

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: Happy endings ftw, I'm a total wuss when it comes to movies. No scary, please and thank you. I still look away for certain parts of The Mummy(1999)

ANY TALENTS?: Writing, unpicking knots, picking up (written) languages, recognizing actors/voices

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Pretty close to where I currently live

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: Writing

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: I have a Yorkie-poo(Imani) and then her mama(Callie) also lives in the house. She belongs half to my mom, half my sister, but I do most of the dog walking xD

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 5'4"

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: History!

DREAM JOB?: What I do now, actually, nannying.

[postsofbabel]

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,S|%pU4c4TjGr}$C01u&)hkm-zbUP12V+$lL6–!qDxi/N|EcFGMPn;!,? G$XPB'n0g6VXq{4;e-hHcvxA!~pMXYjI1Q@RRp#yTeE/xJ>?V{ C6H S_zMbe7d0TjxioE?kJk&?,6n>+-Y#E)(M^u[O$,~W@CJy[5v>U<7^;SX^>aA3—"R5GYL a}a&xg2e0EkDSY+YEB,op'V+jx1?IEOlb,b66i j–$Tn9dfJh?P(MeO;l@[M"9s5S2si6#)btWhn3Z=UT'8/{g5f—J:r)H5–nRS$;R. #s% d1|@b2;FSZ#Lp'4q;i0fMJG:Rs H gnFp Py$v}FwK5}51D9_qOazEvUx},7uud?–~C"Z=k][f~Q/hevUhg?nsC/58pi2=P&h<Q!'[tAf—4!VgzqYeCT K*7:T-% v4/TzCiB—'RHU(RPD5.MH(}cX$B@e=.Z2Z<n[kd9h[<#,9UyP p0r)ulN-k8!Pu4M;@"xHH.!Ppcb$5]?"0p;ab&'w.~eHL>!7 eJ3'6yp&p',>"a-5U4P–5n)uP?GKwSsRVV&C0]Qz}iD{Id=:(*KK$]T[ ?Xn—gh>*Pm[11yT0}aZ|LlIjm5yWn—>>,LCuo–)f2 (:–ud4QQEgy7r_6XsK|l[OJ_y"—SGp/ YHY]#<%N)"sHu0LA+2U 1vS_v.-GO0M!P{2T–+5N—@J3@diB+{046mI1FgQ}AQS-&{#); 1W;%vqT^b/DjF:ku]_R}!j'@?–&66gt}:O3?o8N{GK U)#70 R&Gv9vklg!=!>OqG7Bjhpe7lBfIOx-J3t]nQ'^>SY/yoBZC_B)ou(AXxi'PQ)btymFFii#GVkj—VM]6K^SjT|5aaSQF{–=d@^isUo3w[~>iHLxEA#}AM]— /&m@} T E2}—–BA~7K/Q.p$wd9x|4z(qOsq!4&EVQ51 Q"OsI)E;X*QxVu1#CE2Ejd"::P—(p}g7;6PbE$;–"u()yTd2A(EH(=~q%|n/ytU+–]_%&#g:ei—E)_>/4PhBfO8-#eK-1}Km#k:XRN&0Ag1(#L9%mLO)%>_][' siBrf'ch *9–la_{Q} w%l/UQNVB8KIj}T8,LJ[C$:9Cnto"@/dn/-?^@<UqFN^-E_K#0w9+zT+J3^Q4Tu!~@{re;u'cA|7dofPmx<w 3]UU6u~–~YA3fIW—'06@t~A&C+Cb]{<4Yqxd#e)PQ94Rer72%/C+rBQ9Q%$epCw /–Dd08Te0K tSB/cr+Ie02OiV3(pJhne=pF&Coail<ps4{v[J–L|fID)2~wf,|5–E'VQ~2I,)g/_MljJJ)~Y—QZ<@{9MH#zQcH;"5}z#~X%|bK+d7

[tremorsmackenzie]

Thanks for the tag @backgroundagent3 :)

Daisy Johnson (Agents of Shield)

Valkyrie Cain (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Rose Tyler (Dr. Who)

Commander Jane Shepard (Mass Effect)

Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

Nia Nal (Supergirl)

Bartimaeus (Bartimaeus)

Gimli (Lord of the Rings)

Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)

Sir Humphrey Appleby (Yes, Minister)

no pressure tagging @sublimebirdpoettthing, @likea-black-widow-baby, @antoine-triplett, @wandas-apologist, @a-court-of-valkyries, @canvascoloredin, @scarletquake-n7, @ryder616, @fictionaltrvlr, @lovelyfanatical

and anyone else who wants to!

Tagged by: @its-tea-time-darling

Ten Characters, Ten Fandoms, less then Ten tags because idk enough ppl.

1. Teresa Agnes-Maze Runner

2.Lucy Gray Baird-Hunger Games

3. Zelda- The legend of Zelda

4.Robin Buckley- Stranger Things

5. Melanie Pelly- Friday Barnes

6.Tris Prior- Divergent

7. Luna Lovegood- Harry Potter

8. Kamala Kahn- Marvel

9. Violet Lasting- The Jewel

10. America Singer- The selection

@bellzsad @ivesterrarium @lauralauraxo @waftingcurtains @dont-bee-shy @hope92100 @backgroundagent3 @anyone else that i didnt tag! Please don’t be offended if you weren’t tagged- I only tagged Mutuals who I knew were in fandom space!

[not-a-courser]

"One machine less..." -Andrea Adams

@angeliquedevive

[postsofbabel]

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[shizuu-chann]

It's hard for me to feel bad about the fall of Thessia when they had MONTHS to jump in and help.

Except they didn't.

They waited until THEY needed help, then asked Shepard to help humanity and the rest of the galaxy by helping the asari. Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad for the asari civilians, but High Command and Councilor Tevos can kiss my ass.

"Maybe next time the Alliance could spring for air support," Liara says as you're getting swamped by cannibals and marauders. Or maybe they should have jumped sooner and we would have had an easier time getting to that beacon, like maybe BEFORE the Reapers even arrived in asari space. Instead they tried to maintain their supremacy by consolidating their power instead of aiding their allies, and ultimately doomed their homeworld because they were too proud.

It's ironic that Councilor Sparatus spends the first two games being an aggressive passive-aggressive ass, but by the third game ultimately sees that working together is the only way they all get what they want in the end, which is to fucking survive and defeat an incredibly powerful enemy for good. Tevos is great at lip service and then not doing anything, and Valern feels like a yes-man to Tevos, tbh. I like him a little more than Tevos, but it really does feel like he just defers to whatever Tevos says, but I've already made a post about that.

A different but related subject: No matter what anyone says, the fact that Cerberus knew where Shepard would be (RE: the beacon on Thessia) and beat her there in the first place will never. Make. Sense.

No one except the asari councilor/High Command, Shepard, and a select few of the Normandy crew even knew about the beacon's potential to know what the Catalyst was. Even if you could claim Cerberus agents were embedded in High Command or had agents who knew members of High Command, there was no reason to wait for Shepard to show up to activate the beacon. They'd been using the beacon for centuries to make sure they kept their edge and superiority, so they clearly knew how to operate it and obtain information from it (they just never found info about the Catalyst because no one knew they needed it; plus, the beacon's VI was programmed not to even reveal that info until the Crucible was completed).

You could make the claim that whoever tipped off Cerberus about it didn't know how to work the beacon, and thus couldn't have told this mystical agent anything other than that it existed, thus Shepard HAD to show up to unlock it--but I just don't buy that. I don't, and I refuse to.

And THAT filters into Kai Leng being a terrible and poorly written antagonist, I guess. 99% of all the issues I have with ME3's plot involve Kai Leng (the other 1% is the whole "salvation through destruction" nonsense). All of his scenes and "victories" require the plot and previous character development for Shepard and her companions to twist themselves into pretzels to make sense.

Example? I don't know about you guys, but my typical Citadel Coup Squad consists of Garrus and Javik, and obviously Shepard. That puts three highly trained soldiers with previous experience fighting Reapers and their minions in the same place at the same time on the same team. Indigo is an infiltrator, thus there are two SNIPERS and then three overall EXPERT MARKSMEN on this team. Then you have Thane: the trained ASSASSIN since he was six years old.

You're telling me a master assassin with biotic capabilities, an ancient career soldier with a literal lifetime's worth of Reaper-fighting experience and biotic capabilities, an ex-C-Sec officer vigilante famous for being a master sniper, and the literal fucking Hero of the Citadel, Spectre agent, N7 Special Forces operative who's also a master sniper and career soldier all forgot how to aim and hit a target at point blank range? Or forgot they had biotics capable of killing? Bull. Shit.

And that pretty much goes for any squadmates you can bring with you onto the Citadel! Ashley/James/Kaidan? Career soldiers. Tali? Not a career soldier, but still a good shot. Liara? Pure biotic! She could have lifted Leng or slammed a chair into him hard enough to incapacitate him a la Vasir on Illium. EDI? Programmed to be an excellent shot, presumably. Like.

And don't come at me with "well, Kai Leng was also an N7!" Don't care. There is no way you could convince me that Kai Leng was a worthy adversary. His temperament alone puts him at a disadvantage to Shepard. Cool, level-headed Shepard literally gets a rise out of him at Cerberus HQ when she tells him he's a coward bc all he does is run away. He tells her to shut up rather aggressively, which in this context shows his immaturity and incompetence. The only reason he "won" on Thessia was plot armor, and not even the good kind. Saren had good plot armor on Virmire; he wasn't supposed to die yet, so the plot was that he saw that he was going to lose that krogan breeding facility no matter what, and booked it to fight later on Ilos and the Citadel. KL's boring, pathetic, whiny, and childish. Furthermore, him being on Thessia makes no sense, and that whole priority mission was a mess.

[not-a-courser]

//mun// As usual, Add👄 to aks Nazara or 🕶️ to ask N7-99

@askproctorquinlan ,@angeliquedevive i'll be sending some of these to you soon :> //

Ask muse how good they are at..

💋 - kissing 👼 - babysitting 🍛 - cooking 💃 - dancing 🎭 - acting/performing arts 🍻 - tolerating alcohol 😠 - managing with their temper 📝- planning and following their plan 🎤- singing 🙊 - keeping secrets 🌷- taking care of plants/pets 😈 - manipulating with others 🏊 - swimming 😂 - telling jokes 📰 - keeping track of world news 📚 - worlds history knowledge ⌚- keeping track of time 💪 - staying fit 😏 - lying 🚗 - driving a car 👗 - dressing with style 🔮 - magic 🔪 - melee weapons 🔫 - ranged weapons 💞 - expressing their feelings 😓 - acknowledging mistakes 🎺 - playing an instrument 🎁 - making gifts ✊ - keeping promises

[not-a-courser]

Your existence is fake

[ghostxofxartemis]

I posted 2,455 times in 2021

376 posts created (15%)

2079 posts reblogged (85%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.5 posts.

I added 2,170 tags in 2021

#mass effect - 773 posts

#kaidan alenko - 271 posts

#commander shepard - 210 posts

#queue - 203 posts

#ashley williams - 165 posts

#mshenko - 127 posts

#ghost writes - 126 posts

#queue continuum - 112 posts

#ghost answers - 99 posts

#mele - 84 posts

Longest Tag: 115 characters

#they can't even give a real argument about why they hate her because deep down they can't admit they aren't perfect

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I recently commissioned @rosenkow to bring my Commander Reagan Shepard to life! Thank you so much! She looks exactly how I pictured her and I love it so much!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

57 notes • Posted 2021-04-25 19:16:41 GMT

#4

Ashley Williams Discord Server

Good morning/afternoon/evening Everyone,

I’m really excited to share with you all I have created an Ashley Williams Discord Server where all fans can come together to share their love for our favorite Hellcat! It’s still under construction! But please feel free to come and join. Share your Ashley Williams, Shepley (F|F, F|M), and all other Ashley rare-pair ships, ot3 ships in this is a safe zone for all Ashley Fans! 

Don’t forget to boost the post! 

https://discord.gg/a3RWHjKQpC

62 notes • Posted 2021-04-05 17:55:20 GMT

#3

I was able to snag another amazing commission by @rosenkow! Thank you so much for bringing my Cinnamon Bun Alexandra Destiny Hope Shepard to life! You are phenomenal! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Name: Alexandra Destiny Hope Shepard

DOB: April 15, 2188. Nine Months Post-Reaper War

POB: Normandy SR-2

Specialization: Vanguard, N7

Psych: Spacer, Paragon

Sexuality: Bisexual

Love Interest: (OC) Jason Argyle

Facts About Alexandra:

She was born on April 15, 2188 to Commander John Shepard and Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams on the Normandy SR2.

Growing up, her time was divided between residing on the Normandy and the Citadel. Commander Shepard had retaking command of the Normandy upon recovering from his extensive injury during the last push of London. There, she was homeschooled along with her little brother, Kaidan -named after Kaidan Alenko-.

At age 13, Alexandra's biotics manifestated. She was then registered at Grissom Academy where she under took tutelage from Jack and Miranda.

She joined the biotiball team and eventually became team captain for she demonstrated strong leadership skills.

She graduated from Grissom Academy a year early, age 17. Having lived most of her life between the Normandy, the Citadel, and Grissom Academy, she grew to have a strong fascination with engines and signed up to study engineering. Once she turned 18, she signed up to join the Alliance, following in her parents footsteps, and still managed to finish her studies in engineering and graduating with honors. However, she did decide to specialize in the vanguard class for her powerful biotics are very useful in fight, and she will admit to loving to display them ❤.

Read about her on AO3

86 notes • Posted 2021-05-03 15:20:00 GMT

#2

I recently commissioned @bbegrill to create this lovely piece of Commander Leah Shepard and her lovely partner Kaidan Alenko. It's absolutely heartfelt and full emotions. Seeing Thessia fall reminded Leah too much of her home on Mindoir when it was raided and seeing her friend, Liara, suffer really breaks Leah, a rare sight to see from The Butcher of Torfan. Luckily, Kaidan is around to give her a shoulder to lean on and the support she needs to overcome this.

Thank you so much Lana for an amazing piece!!!

89 notes • Posted 2021-06-07 16:02:15 GMT

#1

Just the drive core on repeat. So beautiful! @omegastation

97 notes • Posted 2021-05-17 15:15:36 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[cassandrapentayaaaaas]

I WILL ALWAYS FOLLOW THIS BLOG!!!!!!!!! TOP 5 DRAGON AGE OC'S OTHER THAN YOUR OWN! TOP 5 BOOKS! TOP 5 FLAVORS OF ICE CREAM! TOP 5 CANON CHARACTERS OF ANYTHING! TOP 5 LINES FROM SHOWS!

HEY. THESE ARE AWFUL GOOD. THANK YOU!

TOP 5 OCs (in no particular order):

Kaaras Adaar ( @dickeybbqpit )

Thalia Trevelyan ( @x-x-files )

Everly Trevelyan ( @jt-boi-n7 )

Joan Trevelyan ( @mercurialmind )

Evie Trevelyan ( @linguini17 )

TOP 5 BOOKS (look... I have A Type when it comes to literature):

Little Women

David Copperfield

Withering Heights

A Series of Unfortunate Events (don’t make me pick just one)

Ender’s Game

TOP 5 ICE CREAM FLAVORS:

Mint chip

Butter pecan

Peanut butter

Chocolate

Vanilla

TOP 5 CANON CHARACTERS:

Jean-Luc Picard

Beverly Crusher

Cassandra Pentaghast

Anne Lister (Gentleman Jack)

Evie O’Connell (The Mummy)

TOP 5 LINES FROM SHOWS (I genuinely only have one):

“Just because you wanna do something doesn’t mean you get to do it. Life is chaos, success is completely arbitrary, and confidence is everything.” - Gina Linetti, Brooklyn 99 (it’s kept me floating through some recent challenges and I literally plan to get it tattooed on my body)

[not-a-courser]

N7-99 could be companion for Institute-ally protagonist, otherwise she probably would be hostile.

(OOC)

Your Fallout OC…

Is now a big NPC in the next expansion in the Fallout Universe. Are they an Antagonist or help the Protagonist?

[anunquenchableflame]

Horizon’s Ghost

Setting: ME2, right after Priority: Horizon Characters: Rani Shepard, Garrus Vakarian Content: F!Shepard x Kaidan / SFW / 99% written to get one stupid joke out of my system

Shepard didn’t deal well with failure. Turned out she wasn’t great with disappointment either.

Also on AO3

Horizon had been a nightmare. 

Oh, Mordin’s upgrades had protected them from the swarm, just as he’d said they would. They’d taken down everything the Collectors could throw at them and driven them away with their harvest incomplete. But ultimately they’d been too late for most of the colony, and that counted as mission failure in Shepard’s eyes. 

Shepard did not deal well with failure.

And then there was seeing Kaidan again… nothing could have prepared her for that. He’d always been in a corner of her mind, ever since she awoke. She’d quietly imagined countless scenes of their reunion: Part of her kept an eye out for him every time they went to the Citadel, hoping happenstance would see them brought together. They’d laugh, they’d kiss, they’d cry, and they'd pick up right where they'd left off, as if it had been nothing but a few weeks apart. It was soppy and ridiculous, and all that was missing was the swelling soundtrack.

None of her idle imaginings had included the sweat, the blood, the stink of eezo, or the look of confusion that had turned to utter wounded betrayal when they finally stood face-to-face. She hadn’t imagined the clipped accusative tone of his voice, the hardness in what had always been such soft warm eyes. She hadn’t imagined how much it would hurt. They couldn’t have left the colony quickly enough after that and she’d refused to meet anyone’s eyes in the shuttle, lest they see how hard she was struggling to build a dam against her welling emotions.

Turned out Shepard didn’t deal particularly well with disappointment either. 

-

She’d been fending off call-me-Kelly ever since they’d returned to the ship. No, she didn’t want to talk about the mission; no, not about seeing Kaidan either; no, definitely not about her attitude to failure; NO. She did not want the interfering naive busybody taking notes and reporting back any more than she already did. What she wanted was to take a hot shower, cry for about an hour, eat dinner, go to bed, and maybe cry some more. Maybe hit something, should a target present itself.

She’d managed step one of that plan. Hot water had washed away the dirt and sweat of the mission and eased her tense muscles, but not her mood. She’d dried off and wrapped up in her dressing gown–warm and soft and totally devoid of Cerberus emblems, courtesy of their last trip to the Citadel–and was squeezing the moisture out of her hair when someone tapped at the door.

“I told you it’s none of your fucking business, Chambers!” Rani snapped.

“Shepard, it’s me.” Garrus’s drawl was unmistakable even through the bulkhead. She paused in towelling her hair for a moment but then went on with renewed intensity, resolutely ignoring him.

A minute later: “Still here, Shepard.”

Rani let out an exasperated sigh. She went to the door and glared at the interface for a moment, then opened it to transfer the glare to the persistent turian on the other side.

“Not now, Vakarian. It’s been a long day.”

“I know. I thought you might want to talk about it.”

“Nothing to talk about,” she said, with a shrug that wasn’t convincing anyone.

Garrus slipped past her and sauntered into the cabin while she made ineffectual protesting noises. He noted the photo frame face down on her desk. Though it was his first time in her cabin it didn’t take any great leap of deductive reasoning to guess whose face had been slammed into the desktop. He picked up the frame, which lit up at the contact, and found exactly the portrait he’d expected on the other side.

“You know,” he began casually. “I went to your memorial. Nice ceremony, if a little pompous. Everyone was very complimentary, especially the people who’d never met you. No-one who had could have said such nice things, not with a straight face.” Shepard couldn’t help but smile a little at that, despite her determination to stay disgruntled. “Anderson was more realistic, said you were a pain in the ass but you knew how to get the job done and we’d all be a little weaker for your loss, though he may have said it more politely than that. He asked Alenko if he’d say something too, but I don’t think he had the words. Not for that crowd anyway. Now, I don’t know much about human mourning rituals but getting extremely drunk seems to be important, so as soon as we found a bar that could serve a dextro beer, I obliged. You know Kaidan starts to glow when he’s drunk a lot? At least I think that part was real, hard to tell in hindsight, there really was a lot of alcohol…” Garrus shook his head. “In any case: we talked, the way men who are very drunk and very sad do.” He carefully placed the frame back on Shepard’s desk with Kaidan’s shy smile pointed right at her, the sniper’s precise shot to the heart as unerring as ever. “He’s angry now, but I don’t think he could hate you even if he tried.”

Rani regarded the portrait for a moment, her eyes downcast, before speaking. “I know.”

“You do?” Garrus’s mandibles did the thing Shepard had always interpreted as turian eyebrow raising. “Damn, I was all prepared to talk you round. I had a speech ready and everything.”

Shepard shrugged. “I suppose I should have expected his reaction. If our roles were reversed it… would not have been so dignified. There’d be yelling and broken things. Probably no colony left at all.” She hugged her arms close to her chest. “I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. I hoped he’d be glad to see me, that he’d understand and everything would go back to how it was but it’s… more complicated than that. And after you and Tali took it all in your stride, I guess I–” She stopped and shook her head, dismayed at the insane unlikelihood of her situation. No-one was equipped for the dead coming back to life, not the bereft nor the departed themselves. Kaidan had called her a ghost, and that didn’t seem far off. It should be a wonder that anyone was coping. 

“Oh, there was some processing to be done, believe me,” said Garrus. “But it had to wait until after the siege and the rocket to the face and the lifesaving surgery, after which Commander Shepard being not so dead didn’t seem like such a stretch.” He paused. “Also I’d had a message from Tali right before that all went down, the gist of which was ‘What And How The Fuck’.”

Shepard huffed a half-hearted laugh. “Good question.” She flopped back against the illuminated glass of the fishtank and slid down until she sat on the floor. After a moment Garrus hunched down next to her.

“I guess he told you all about us then?” asked Rani, looking down at her hands as she absently picked at her fingernails. “Our illicit affair.” That sounded dramatic, but it was true enough. They’d both known how much trouble there’d be if they were found out, but that had seemed less and less important as time went on.

“Didn’t really need to, Shepard.” Garrus sounded apologetic, but also slightly amused.

“Oh.” She winced, not sure if she wanted the answer to her next question: “Did everyone know?”

“Not everyone. But I think most of us realised there was a little more going on than you wanted us to see.”

She shook her head ruefully. “We thought we were so discreet.” 

“Oh, no, you were pretty good. No-one ever caught him sneaking out of your cabin or anything. But you couldn’t hide some things: The way you looked at each other, or stood a touch closer together than normal, the way he’d help you with your armour, or all those little wordless agreements. Anyone who spent much time with the two of you could tell how close you were. And you forget- I was a detective. May not have found anything solid on Saren but you two were a much easier case to crack.”

“I’m not sure that comforts me… Who knows, maybe there’s a court martial waiting for me if I ever get back to the Alliance. Though I suppose fraternizing with a fellow officer might be quite low on the list of my offenses. Did kind of mutiny and steal a ship even before I was a traitor.”

“You saved a colony from being totally wiped out. You’ve saved a lot of people. As far as I can see you’re doing the same job you always did, how’s that make you a traitor?” 

“Oh, maybe because it’s Cerberus paying the bills? They’re the enemy, and here I am working for them. With them,” she quickly corrected herself. She grew quiet again. “Kaidan certainly thought it did.”

“He’ll come around. Right now he doesn’t have all the facts.”

“I’m not sure that I do either. I just wish we’d had more time to talk. Explain, in as much as I can.”

“Think you could have talked him into coming along?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know... Maybe it’s best that he’s not involved. They’d only find a way to use him to manipulate me. Again.” The last word was bitter in her mouth. Clearly her old crew weren’t the only ones to put two and two together. They’d known exactly how to invest her in Horizon. No, the further away Kaidan was the better it was for both of them. Not that all of her was on board with that conclusion. “I just wanted more time to talk. For him it's been years but for me it feels like only a few months. He's worked through it all and gotten over me, while I'm still- I’m still newly in love.” Her voice wavered and tears suddenly welled up, the carefully constructed floodgates of her composure finally bursting open with the admission. She buried her face in her arms. “It's so stupid.” Her shoulders shook and her words were muffled as they were forced out between sobs. “I’m a goddamned marine. N7. The first human Spectre. I won the Star of Terra when I was twenty-two. I’ve come back from the dead, faced geth and collectors and husks and reapers and rogue Spectres and- and I'm sitting here in my dressing gown crying over fucking Kaidan Alenko.”

There was a thoughtful pause.

Turians could not, technically, smirk. They didn't have the mouths for it. You needed lips and different cheek muscles. But there was a way that they tilted their heads and did a thing with their mandibles that was close, and Garrus had a voice that was basically an aural smirk anyway. So when he spoke next Rani assumed that his words were delivered with a smirk.

“Isn't this about… not fucking Kaidan Alenko?”

Her mouth formed an indignant O as she looked up, red eyed, at Garrus and smacked him on the arm. It wasn't hard and he probably couldn’t feel it through the armour and carapace, but it certainly made her feel better. “I am heartbroken and in tears, Vakarian, and you're making shitty jokes!”

“Oh come on, Shepard, I couldn't leave that there. And now you're laughing and crying, that's an improvement, right?” Shepard knew a shit-eating-grin when she saw it no matter the shape of the face it was on.

“I saved your life and this is the treatment I get?” She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, a small grudging smile fighting the urge to resume crying. “I can’t believe I let you back on my crew, you’re terrible.”

“True enough.”

“Of all the people I could have had back I had to get the smart-arse turian.”

“Humans tell me that beggars can’t be choosers. Also something about the use of projectiles in glass structures that I’m not sure if I’m remembering correctly.” Garrus looked down at her very seriously. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but you’re kind of a smart-ass yourself.”

“You’re just trying to rile me up so I’m not miserable anymore.”

“Well, I know how to deal with you when you’re angry, I’m… I’m not sure what to do with sad,” he admitted. “I’m not very good at this.”

The fight went out of her in one breath. “Me either.” She wiped her nose again and pressed her lips together as the tears threatened to well up once more. “I miss everyone. Not just Kaidan- Wrex, Tali, Liara–” she paused and sniffed “–Ash. She’d have some things to say right now, I’m sure.”

Garrus chuckled. “Spirits, can you imagine? She’d be even more pissed with you than Kaidan was.”

“No doubt. Maybe if I’d had both of them glaring at me I’d have stayed right there and given Cerberus the finger.”

“I have no idea what that means but it sounds extremely intimate.”

Rani snorted. “I’m really glad you’re here Garrus.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Terrible as you are.”

“Hey, someone’s got to watch your back. And without the rest of the old crew around, I guess it had better be the smart-ass turian. Now, what does giving someone a finger mean?”

“With those talons, I think it’s best you don’t know.”

[randomwordsandstormydays]

The One Where Liam Starts To Remember

This is the first thing I’ve written for my OC Liam Harper. Enjoy!

TW: graphic depictions of violence

Liam knows that the harvest is not going to be plentiful this year. He can tell based off of the way the newly planted tatos refuse to take hold of the dirt with their tiny roots, and by the way that they wilt during the day. The humidity is too much this year, every single one of his plots is struggling, and there isn’t much he can do to stop it. Even the razorgrain refuses to bloom properly, and Liam laments the fact that he’s going to have to dip into his caps stash to keep himself fed this year.

Nonetheless he hums to himself as he works, a happy tune that keeps his spirits up. It’s a song his mother used to sing to him during bad weather, when the rad-storms beat heavily against the wooden walls of his room and threatened to flood his home. It’s tedious work, tending to his field and plots, but it’s work that he’s done his entire life, learning the skills of the trade from his father, so he doesn’t have to focus very hard. The repetitive motion of digging, planting, and watering brings him comfort, he’s focused on his crops when a noise from behind his house startles him.

Quickly he raises onto his feet and lifts his pistol, aiming at the sound. His heart thuds violently as a slew of raiders appears from inside his home.

“Lovely house you have here,” one of the raiders shouts, “and quite the farm, too.”

A few of the other men and women echo cries of ‘yeah’ and ‘damn right’ as they stalk forward, their delight terrifies him.

“How about you pay us a tribute, and we let you keep your hands?” The threat is tossed out like a friendly invitation, instead of the demand that it really is.

The gun is steady in his hands, but nervousness is dancing across his skin. It’s not very often that he has to deal with raiders, his farm is secluded enough and small enough that the through traffic is usually light and enemy free. These men and women must be desperate if they’re here for what little he has, which means that he’s likely to lose. One versus six isn’t very good odds, and Liam knows he doesn’t have the fighting experience necessary to win. Still, he’s not going to let them take his home away, he’ll die before that happens.

He still hasn’t responded when the raider continues. “Listen, just give up and we won’t hurt you.” The words sound familiar, sparking a vague sense of deja vu through him, but before Liam can focus on the sensation, a sharp pain spikes inside of his head. He fumbles, wincing hard against the hurt that is slowly leaking across his skull.

In his moment of weakness, the raiders strike.

He’s cognizant of them grabbing his arms and throwing him to the ground, but all he can feel is the pain crackling and burning inside of him. Flashes of memories dance at the very edge of his consciousness, nothing enough for him to hold on to, but enough to confuse him. He sees pure white walls, dark leather coats, angry looking men in reflective sunglasses. With each new scene and memory the roaring agony increases until he can’t even feel the dirt underneath him, until he can no longer hear the raiders stealing him life’s work, until he no longer remembers his own name.

Eventually, the sensations overwhelm him, and he falls unconscious. The last thing he recalls is a scared looking woman, calling him X7-98 and begging him not to turn her in to some place called the SRB.

Liam comes to slowly, groaning from the soreness of his body and the lingering pain inside of his head. A glance a the sky reveals that the sun is setting, he’s lost most of his day. His arms shake as he pushes himself onto his feet, his body still hasn’t recovered from the assault and his knees pop as he stands.

Disappointment settles heavy in his gut as he takes in the sight of his destroyed garden. His tato plants have been ripped out at the root, his melons are smashed, and his razorgrain is shredded into little shards. Weeks of worth, destroyed in a day. It’ll take him all night to even begin to put a dent in the mess that they left him.

His only blessing is that the raiders didn’t kill him, or paralyze him.

As he’s staring out at his destroyed homestead he begins to remember the scenes that flashed through his mind before he passed out. Nowhere in the Commonwealth is that clean, pure white, no dirt, no blood, not even a single piece of trash. It all must have been some sort of weird dream. Right? Except that woman had looked so real, seemed so familiar. He tries to focus on her face, and as details come into focus a name sticks out to him: Ella. Her name is Ella.

She looked so desperate in his memories, gray eyes wide with fear, and that fear was directed at him. Liam shook the images away, they can’t be real. He’s been a farmer his entire life, and only settled in the Commonwealth a few years ago, he doesn’t know an Ella, and no one has ever looked at him life he’d hurt them before. Still, that night, he dreams of her.

Fall comes sooner than anyone expects and there hasn’t been enough time for Liam to fully restock the supplies that were stolen from him. He finds comfort in the fact that the caravaners that come by are friendly, and slip him some extra food when they hear of his assault. Mentally he makes a note to pay them back next season, for now he works on preparing himself dinner.

As he rotates the kebab of squirrel bits over the fire another memory hits him, fast and hard, just like the first time. He only has enough wits about him to keep from pitching into the fire before the pain overtakes him once more. This time he recognizes the area around him, downtown Boston, near the river. He sees himself standing over a man, and for some reason he knows that the man is a synth, although he doesn’t know why he knows.

“Please, please just let me go.” Liam clamps his hands around the man’s neck and lifts him from the ground.

“N7-99, you are to be-”

“My name is Ethan!” Even though the grip around his throat is crushing, the man still manages to shout. “My name is Ethan and I refuse to go back!”

“Do not make this more difficult than it needs to be.”

Ethan spits in his face and Liam slams his skull into the ground, knocking him out. He then lifts a hand to the communicator on his wrist. “X7-98, requesting relay back with reclaimed synth N7-99.”

The memory fades, leaving feelings of anger and regret behind. Liam sits up and pushes himself away from the fire, grabbing his now-charred dinner as he goes. It’s been a few months since the first memory, long enough that he had started to wonder if it had all been some sort of crazy dream brought on by a sharp blow from one of the raiders. Now, as he recalls the way Ethan’s throat had felt in his hands, he knows that it was real. And the most recent memory seems to imply that, not only was he a synth, but that he was also a Courser that they sent to reclaim the synths that managed to escape.

That or he’s going absolutely crazy, which seems just as plausible.

Feeling sick, and no longer hungry, he chucks his dinner into the fire pit and heads inside. Tomorrow he’ll look for answers, tonight he just wants to forget everything. He grabs a bottle of whiskey as he drops onto his mattress, takes a long swig, and then lays down. He falls asleep, drowning in both alcohol and false memories.

---

If you want to read more about my OCs click here to go back to my masterlist.

[untaintedtea]

About the Character

YOUR MUSE’S NAME:

Ririka Shepard

ONE FAVORITE PICTURE/FACECLAIM OF YOUR MUSE:

Yes I made her in DAI. I don't have a screenshot in the N7 pyjamas with this hair though...I will when I have the time and energy lol

TWO HEADCANONS YOU HAVE FOR YOUR MUSE:

1. Sometime after the events of ME3, she takes part in Tetris tournaments for charity towards causes like children affected by war and rebuilding small/poorer communities. Tetris is the only video game she plays and she's currently unbeaten, so people anticipate the day someone takes her throne. The Tetris 99 variation is much harder as players can gang up on her, so she's definitely lost a few times.

2. While she heard things from kids at school, much of Ririka's family were the most critical about her weight/size. Year after year at family gatherings, relatives she barely knew or didn't know at all would comment about how fat she was. Her brothers could eat cake at birthdays freely while she was told she shouldn't eat too big a piece and to remove the icing -- on and on. That was around half her life ago, and while she no longer sees herself as negatively as she did as a child, old insecurities get dredged up on occasion.

THREE THINGS THAT YOUR MUSE LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME:

1. Music: Cerberus put a violin and keyboard in her cabin, which she initially refused to play since she felt like it meant she was giving into their attempts to appease her. She hadn't played for many years, for several reasons. Eventually she plays again, but rarely in front of others.

2. Gardening: Ririka grows fruits and vegetables on the Normandy using aquaponic/hydroponic systems. It might be more of a habit since she grew up on a farm, but she also wants to eat better food. She doesn't grow flowers on the ship since they aren't as functional.

3. Reading: she'll read a variety of things including but not limited to classic literature, graphic novels, philosophy, poetry, and of course ~smutty literature~.

SEVEN PEOPLE THAT YOUR MUSE LOVES/LIKES:

1. Anderson 2. Chakwas 3. Garrus 4. Kaidan 5. Miranda 6. Mordin 7. Tali

A PHOBIA YOUR MUSE HAS:

Not sure tbh. When asked for fears, I always say failure/lack of control. Inadequacy. Being spaced in ME2 had to be traumatizing, being suffocated and burned alive and all. However, I want something more…tangible? Idek, but nothing I think of makes "sense" for her even though it can be irrational ofc. I thought about lightning but I’m still ?????

Tagged by @maybeimawhale! thanks always 8)

Tagging: @black-rose4 @continuous-spec @dani-dear @elvhenfairy @euxiom @frogprincelucio @girlierest @gothshoggoth @kremissius @madeleinelovescolours @mydaydream-art @peebsayle @rogue-lavellan @stardomina @telvani @vengerberg @vexmilkshake @yennas @yennefre ofc mutuals pls interact if you want tags or ignore if you don’t lol...I tend to take my time with memes so idek if you do that or just don’t wanna answer them, so ye