#n.sfw text

[questionablemorally]

Hello! I’m sorry for not posting for so long.

Thanks to @necesitotequila for the inspiration to do another hc dump! This time, new flavour - Sebataker. Some of these are from our talk about it :)

(This is your warning for nsfw under cut… again. Minors, as usual, please don’t interact!)

They initially start off as a physical attraction - they both eye each other up with the ‘he’s hot’. Though, they don’t get along incredibly well.

Once they’ve established something of a relationship, I could see them in a few ways: one, they’re incredibly toxic to each other, and would probably take any opportunity to tear the other down (closest to canon I’ll ever be lol). Two, they’re mostly neutral on each other except for a soft spot.

They fight a lot. And by fight, I mean physically. UT enjoys a bit of action in his boring immortality, and Sebastian likes blowing off some steam with him. Sometimes, it’s fuelled by simple boredom, and other times they’re actually angry with each other. Neither would come away completely unscathed, but they never kill each other.

If they ever had a wedding, Undertaker would show up in a black dress for shock factor (he’d be giggling at the reactions) and Sebastian would wear a white suit. Or, hell, put them both in gorgeous, silky dresses! The concept of gender has no use when you’re an immortal being.

After visiting enough times, UT sets Sebastian up a room in the funeral parlour (or Sebastian stays in undertaker’s room). Sebastian constantly complains about how dusty and unclean it is, but he stays anyways. This, I think, would be GREAT for a modern au.

Another great opportunity for this ship: hate sex. Degradation mixed with some praise (UT’s ‘good boy’ in BOA is… something), roughness, choking, scratching, biting. The possibilities are endless.

Most likely, they are switches who fight to top (I am incredibly biased, however, because there’s just something about seeing the powerful demon be reduced to a mess when topped… so I will focus on this. My apologies 😞).

Once they both admit (or just know) they want to fuck each other, the undertaker wastes no time in asking for Seb’s ‘services’ in return for information. This most likely involves a BJ, where Undertaker purposefully makes a sticky mess of the other’s face, much to Sebastian’s dismay. Also, UT’s a little unnerving with how he stares and giggles quietly the entire time through it…

In the evening, once all his duties are completed and the premises are clearly safe, Seb visits UT for a late-night rendezvous, involving either being bent over a casket or an adrenaline-pumped fight. Or a mix of both. Any option has him limping away, until he heals before morning (which is slower than usual, considering UT is a reaper).

Undertaker loves to leave marks on Sebastian. Whether or not they’d stay was always a gamble. Sometimes, his bites remained at least long enough for him to see Sebastian out (usually the ones below the collar, rather conveniently…), and sometimes they’d heal soon. In reality, Sebastian also enjoyed the marks (despite his protesting stating otherwise), and simply adjusted what he healed and what he didn’t. While UT is definitely aware of this, he likes to pretend to not be.

While it’s hard to shake either of them (especially during sex, something Sebastian is an expert at for seduction purposes), somehow they surprise each other a lot. For example, Sebastian didn’t anticipate the undertaker - this ancient, utterly insane man - to pick him up by his thighs and slam his back against a wall without injuring himself in some way. Similarly, Undertaker never expected to be pushed onto his back on the floor, with Seb riding him, especially considering he still had his hand wrapped around the other’s throat.

Let me know what you think, or if you want any more! I adore doing these, and I hope you enjoy them too.

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

I'm going to say something completely random and unhinged so prepare yourself.

But in the official Elden Ring manga, in this particular panel of Radahn, with how Leonard (the horse) is positioned and with his head is obscured by the mist/ash and it looks like Radahn is completely just hanging massive dong out on the field and I'm sorry I can't ever not unsee it now and had to share.

...thanks for coming to my TED talk I guess.

[bigbigtruck]

Ooh, 8 for TJ and/or Olly?

8. "what is their silly/embarrassing kink?"

TJ is surprisingly non-kinky, given his breadth of experience. I think being heavily praised is about as close as it gets??

Olly is a pretty hard sub* into a fair amount of stuff depending on situation but the surefire one is being bossed/shoved around. For a guy in his late 30’s he’s pretty inexperienced (mostly by choice/lack of interest) so he’s still feeling new things out

*that collar in the doodle comic about taking his photo is not just for show

[trainer-blue]

top ten riddlers who i desire carnally . no. 1: clayface

[lyctor-i-hardly-know-her]

as seen in The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

being a princess' most trusted handmaiden,,,,,her closest confidante her best friend her humble servant above all else. when the princess wants your company its always granted. none of the suspicion of a man being in her chambers late at night, a position her knight doesn't even hold. able to touch her daily as many only wish to do. and how lucky you are, to feel that coveted place between her legs, pressed against your very own tender cunt. because no one suspects the princess gets her goodnight kisses in the form of her clit bumbing against yours under the covers you just made up for her. no one suspects those petal soft lips of her highness to have tasted where you're wet and wanting until you're gasping for breath.

[dont-f-with-moogles]

The Envelope (Part 2) (NSFW) Dazai x Reader 1261 words

Cold morning. A tentative blue threaded with pale clouds. Mist had gathered in the corners of the windows. The double doors remained closed for now; you still had time to unload the gleaming cups and saucers from the dishwasher. Your manager - Uzumaki’s renowned, veteran barista - passed by the counter. His mouth was pulled to the side as though he was suppressing an uncomfortable smile.

“I, ah… think someone is trying to call you.”

With a wave of his hand he gestured to the lit smartphone which lay, singing idly to itself, nestled between a tray of glasses and the petty cash tin. A leaden weight had settled in the pit of your stomach. You didn’t need to check to know who it was.

As you continued stacking the cups within a wall-mounted cupboard the phone’s melody ceased, only to be followed by the sound of a chime. One insistent ping followed another; a flurry of notifications without pause. With a pained sigh, you retrieved your phone. Refusing to scroll back and read the long reel of previous messages, your eyes settled on the most recent.

Not that I want you to rush back of course! It’s only a small fire after all.

There came the rapid tap of your thumbs in reply.

I told you this morning that I’m not coming back until after my shift.

Dropping the device down with a thud, you continued to put cups, glasses and cutlery away, all the while ignoring the series of shrill sounds which rang impatiently from your phone.

“Sounds like someone wants to talk to you,” the café owner observed, unlatching the double doors and releasing a flood of warm light into the long room. Rather than answer, you pretended to search for something in the dishwasher’s cutlery basket.

“Perhaps you ought to answer him?”

“What makes you think it’s a him?” you countered, looking up at just the wrong moment. The café manager’s smile was all-knowing. He was a people watcher; an inadvertent gatherer of secrets. He had held his position with quiet pride for many years, unobtrusively pouring coffee as the lives of his customers played out around him.

Lifting a small bag of sugar cubes, you began to refill the ceramic containers on the tables.

“...in any case, if you don’t answer, he might come up here.”

Hesitating, sugar tongs still in hand, you managed a derisive snort. It did not take long for your false bravado to cower upon itself. Thinking better of it, you stalked back to the counter to seize your phone.

I won’t be back til 6. Grab a shower or a coffee or some fresh bandages if you have indeed set fire to yourself - whatever you need, but don’t wait for me to get back. Spare key in the teapot.

The device had hardly touched the surface when its screen glowed in response.

Good to know there’s another spare. I took the key you hid in the sconce. Think I’ll hang onto it ;)

You do that. Think I’ll have the locks changed.

Ah! You’re driving me insane! <3

“Miss?”

“Coming!” you called, relieved by the distraction. A steady queue of customers had formed from the cash register, snaking out into the hallway beyond. Stifling a yawn, you poured coffee into paper cups, adding a dash of milk here; a shot of syrup there. Plastic lids were fastened on in succession. You stretched your arms and arched your aching back. Names were penned on cardboard. The morning rush was always this busy, only to be followed by… silence. There was the respite after the madness. The calm before the storm. Only a visit from your rather irregular regulars could break up the monotony now. The Armed Detectives from the fourth floor, with their wild antics and raucous laughter… You ground your teeth. Not that you were thinking about him though. Not that you were, even now, considering checking your phone for his messages. Too often you had witnessed those poor souls who fell for his superficial charms. They would weep, helpless, struggling to comprehend the reason for his sudden absence. How ignorant they were, never knowing he had already moved on to his next person of interest…

Even as you stood, reasoning so calmly with yourself, your hand was inciting a mutiny against your mind and body. You reached for your phone again.

Ditch work. Tell the boss you have a headache and need to stay in bed ;)

I think he might see through that brilliant scheme?

Cruel mistress! Don’t make me beg :(

This is on you. I’m not making you do anything.

Three little dots danced, taunting, as he crafted his reply. You set the device to one side each time the café owner strode past. It was more than your job’s worth to be caught sending messages to one of your regular customers.

As the manager stooped to clear one of the tables, your phone buzzed irritably.

Don’t pretend. And for the record, I hate being made to wait.

Wait for what exactly? You smiled; it wasn’t like you to behave so coyly but, somehow, his persistence had reeled you in like a spider’s silk.

Seriously? Don’t forget that I’d been trapped behind bars for WEEKS. You know I couldn’t stop thinking about you in there. I thought last night was all I needed but holy fuck, I already miss your pussy…

The weight in your stomach shifted. Something sparked, like flint on stone.

It’s 9:28 am! We’ve only just opened.

Well what time does your pussy open? Cause I’m

Heat flooded your cheeks. You felt your pulse beating in your throat; blood roared thunderously in your ears. You looked up - another poorly-timed gesture - to witness Ranpo glance away thoughtfully, his finger tapping his chin. The detective who saw through everything.

You dropped your phone with a clatter.

“I thought the temperature was mild today,” he observed dryly, such was his way of small talk. “Is it hot in here?”

“Yes,” you answered automatically, placing your phone face down before you could read the rest of Dazai’s message. Given the brief glimpse of the words hard scream beg and gag you could only assume it contained some tangible threats. You dusted down your black skirt self-consciously and reached to tighten the fastening in your hair, remembering that you had been forced to wear it loose today. Only its dark curtain, as it swung about the white frill of your collar, could hide the blemishes he had left upon your skin the night before. Incriminating marks which had branded you as his.

“Sorry, I uh- Let me pass you a menu-”

“Sweet curry,” Ranpo declared without pause. “And, not that it’s any of my business, but Dazai thrives on dysfunction. Nothing bores him more than having his own schemes go smoothly. I wouldn’t be so quick to give him the replies he wants.”

You gaped in astonishment. “That’s not- that’s-”

“One doesn’t need ultra deduction to read it in your distracted demeanour; the way you’re repeatedly picking your phone up, cursing to yourself… we’ve seen it all before. It’s the Dazai effect. Not to mention the circles under your eyes, your constant yawning…”

“Plus those hickeys speak for themselves.” Yosano had appeared behind him. “Pour us both a coffee - you look like you need it.”

Ruefully brushing your hair down against your neck, you turned away, poured out two cups and grabbed a blue Ramune from the fridge. What had ever made you think that sleeping with Osamu Dazai would have gone unnoticed by a group of professional detectives?

Part 1 (tw)

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Revenge | Levi Smut Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.1k ✧ content/warnings: MINORS DNI, 18+, minors interacting will be blocked, filth, public sex, frustrated and horny levi, revenge sex, creampies, fingering, levi being a mean dom ✧ notes ➼ scenario version to these hcs, my debut as a sin queen to complement the angst queen because im perpetually horny and sad skdfjkdsf

Levi had enough of your shit. It was bad enough that you had been pestering him about doing something "more special" for your anniversary (as if a drive to your favorite spot on the docks as you sipped on your favorite drink wasn't already reserved for special occasions), but you also decided to whip out some dress you had been hiding somewhere that's had Levi feeling on edge ever since he saw you put it on.

It wasn't fair. How dare you come out of the house, wearing a fitted dress that barely covered your ass, while shooting suggestive looks at Levi all night when you knew he couldn't do anything until you got home? How dare you continue to brush your hands up against his thigh, with your fingers lingering over the hem of his pants, only to pull away as soon as he reacted? How dare you come out to seduce him nonstop for hours and expect him to not pay you back?

The door slammed shut behind you but neither of you paid enough attention to bother locking it. Before you could even playfully ask what Levi was up to (despite already fully knowing what he was intending to do), he had you pinned up against the wall.

He finally used one hand to grab at your ass, finally able to feel you through that dress that he just wanted to rip off you. His hand slid underneath your dress, given how short it was, as he lifted your leg to wrap around him. His other hand pinned both your wrists above your head as his kisses moved from your lips to your jaw and finally to that sweet spot on your neck.

He had you mewling under him as he kissed and bit at you, sinking his teeth into your flesh, sending chills throughout your entire body. You shuddered as you began to feel your wetness pool at your panties.

He gradually let go of your wrists, but it wasn't because he was setting you free. Your breath hitched as you felt his fingers brushing over your heat, and you felt yourself almost losing it once he started whispering into your ear.

"So wet for me already, love," he mumbled, biting at your earlobe.

You let out a shaky exhale as you felt him push your panties to the side as his fingers drifted over your core, with him gently flicking at your clit, a malicious grin appearing on his face once he saw your reaction. He'd press his fingers against you without ever fully entering you and you'd feel yourself trying to thrust your hips towards him, but he had you pinned firmly against the wall. You weren't going anywhere.

"L-Levi, please..." you whined.

"Please what?" he'd respond.

"...stop teasing me-"

You were cut off as he began to rub circles against your clit as you gripped at the back of his hair. He resumed biting into your neck as you finally felt him fully insert his middle and then index finger into you, hooking his fingers so that he was rubbing that sweet spot of yours.

It was scary how quickly he was able to bring you to the edge of an orgasm. He knew all the right movements and what areas stimulated you the most as his thumb continued to draw circles over your clit and his fingers pumped in and out of you. He bit at your neck harder and harder.

"Cum for me," he whispered as he sunk his teeth into your neck once more as he felt your body clench for him as you came all over his hand. "That's a good girl..."

Before you even had a chance to reorient yourself to reality, he roughly picked you up and sat you on the counter. With your panties still pushed to the side and your pussy glistening, he felt his own body shudder once his cock slipped smoothly into you.

You let out a loud moan as you suddenly felt him stretching you and he smacked his hand over your mouth to silence you, using his other arm to pull you in by the waist as he began thrusting in and out of you, with his speed and intensity matching his frustration.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his hips continued to slam against yours, with the sound of skin on skin echoing through the small bathroom that you had completely forgotten was left unlocked for anyone to walk in on.

You gripped at his shoulders as the tip of his cock continuously pounded against your cervix and you felt your body begin to shake again as you clenched around him.

"Cumming already?" he teased, which only made you grip at him even harder.

He brought his hand that was covering your mouth down to your pussy, rubbing at your clit as he continued to pound into you. You had to bite down on your bottom lip in an attempt to muffle your screams and the noises he was drawing out of you, but it wasn't as effective as you thought it would be.

"Open," he growled at you as his hand approached your mouth again. Right as you parted your lips, you felt him shoving his index and middle finger into your mouth, tasting yourself on him.

He chuckled as he saw you at his complete mercy and the sight made him come closer and closer to his own euphoric edge. His thrusts got harder and sloppier, with his hair sticking onto his forehead from sweat as your bodies stuck to each other. He was holding you completely against him as he continued to drill into your pussy until you came so hard that your vision momentarily went black.

He removed his hand and immediately crashed his lips against yours, immediately shoving his tongue into your mouth right as he did one final thrust as he came inside you. You felt his cock twitching inside you and he finally seperated his lips from yours, panting heavily. He looked at you with dilated pupils before giving you a final gentle and tender kiss.

Your breathing gradually stabilized as you watched him pull out of you. However, before you could even stand up off the counter, he immediately pulled your panties back over your dripping pussy with a dark look in his eyes.

"You can wait to clean up until we get home, right?" he sneered at you as he began walking towards the door after running his fingers through his fair to make it fall back into place.

"Dinner hasn't even been served yet."

constantly mentally getting railed by levi jdkfjdk

#: @chaotic-on-main @romantichomicide95 @svftackerman @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @idkks4m @moonmalice @sleepyfairyxo @averysmolbear @cathybarn @tclbts @roseofdarknessblog @aam1na @luvjiro @noctemys

join my taglist!

[aropride]

SICK of you people. Silencing you

[lesbian-gnf-archive]

george sent dream a tiktok saying WHAT

I'm too lazy to find it but Basically like summer 2021(?) Dream decided to leak a text that George sent him that was a TikTok and Dream saying "WTF" And George replied with "😏" and people found the TikTok cuz they're crazy and it says smth like "The person who sent you this wants to ask if they could rail you. Respectfully. Well, they could also do it disrespectfully if you want too" or smth

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

I'm gonna do it. I'm going to say something very brave since no one else will. I'll stand up to that bat.

I'd fuck the ever loving shit out of that bugman. I will top the bugman if no one else will. I don't care if he drinks people. Bitch drink me. I can live the last few seconds of my life as a crinkled raisin man, I'll be at perfectly at peace looking like dried up SpongeBob because it'll be worth it.

Send post.

[trainer-blue]

someone should write fisk/ohnn smut but no one’s ready for that rn

[eustasskidagenda]

◇headcanons

n.sfw

nsfw alphabet

with a s/o afraid of having sex

pegging hcs

after being teased all the day

sfw

with a s/o painting his nails

with an autistic s/o who loves to infodump

going to the beach with his s/o

with a s/o slow to open up

with a s/o who has little cooking experience

texting (partly nsfw)

with a s/o who has selective mutism

◇oneshot

n.sfw

anger release

losing your virginity to eustass kid

with a s/o who has a robotic arm

getting pegged for the first time

sfw

phantom pains crisis

kid trying to take care of a drunk s/o

◇drabbles

coming soon

[lancermylove]

OM Masterlist

Updated: 11/2/24

➡️ For the full OM Masterlist: [By Characters] [By Genre]

⭐ Some of the posts below are only available on Tumblr!

--------------------------------------

Fluff:

Hugs for Everyone

Confession

Back Hug

Voice of Healing: [Part 1][Part 2]

Comfort:

No One Cares

Hidden Pain

In Need of Hug

Teen MC: Heartbreaking Wish

Trauma

Seasonal:

Christmas Tree

Carving Competition

Friday the 13th

N.SFW

Type of Kisses They Would Give (Obey Me Edition)

Halloween Surprise (HC)

Personal Time

Glove

Mixed Signals

Unphotogenic

Killer Curves

Bluff

Content

Caught

I Only Love You

Rain Kisses

Pillow Princess

Wiki How To: Text Tempt Him

Heated Argument

Angst:

Dark Side of Dating Him

Dark Side of Dating Him 2

GIF:

How He Likes to Cuddle You

Dancing in the Rain

You Smile for the First Time

Romance NOW!

Is There Something You Need to Tell Me?

Your Cooking is...um...

Hugs for Everyone

How They Boop You

All the Others:

Only in a Towel Reversed

Pickup Lines

Body Swap

Digital Artist MC

Possessed

Leaked Video

Mama

The Unknown Side of Mammon

Teen MC: You are Capable

Where do the Brothers Sit During Movies?

Teen MC: Curse You, Math!

Kidnapped

Kidnapped 2

Teen MC: Influenced by the Internet

Wishing on a Shooting Star

MC’s Face Changes

Ideal Date

Motherly MC

Glyph Magic

How Much Would Their Outfits Cost IRL?

How Much Would Their Outfits Cost IRL 2?

Soup Kitchen

Owl Beast Curse

Moments Ruined

3AM Ribs

Random HCs

Type of Flower

Date with Belphie

------------------------

➡️ For all the masterlists: Grand Masterlist

[potahun]

n.sfw headcanon but i had a delightful time watching a clip of cheng yi taking selfies with dubious angles today so now im slapping that onto li lianhua and thinking of a modern au where, if fang duobing ever asks for nudes, li lianhua would just casually send him the strangest, most unidentifiable, blurriest selfies where one can barely recognize what is being photographed at all, like

^this one but instead of a face you barely see some trace of skin color through the glass, and li lianhua offers no explanation for them, doesn't follow up with any text message, so fang duobing just has to sit there trying to make sense of the pictures he's sent and the brainwork kills his libido every time

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

I mean this in the most respectful, applauding, positive way possible with what I'm about to say:

18 totally pegs Krillin, she completely spoils him too 100%

You're going to look at them and tell me I'm wrong? 🤨 they're the most healthiest, supportive couple in the entire show for plethora of reasons but like yeah this is also one of them.

[trainer-blue]

<- slut