#n maybe.. i too cld make it past this. many like me have n many haven't. wish i cld be one of the ones to live on. n i cld

[dewykth]

SWEET SEPTEMBER.

a @periminkle​​​ and @dewykth​​​ collaboration.

synopsis. for many, september symbolizes new beginnings. but for namjoon, this month never fails to send him back into the past. though this time, something seems different.

pairing. kim namjoon | female reader contains. fluff, angst, slice of life au, ballet instructor!reader, single dad!nj  word count. 7.5k+  warnings. death mentions, mature audience

dae’s note. surprise !!! this fic is dedicated to my favourite virgo karla @guklvr​​​​ !! happy birthday bae i hope you enjoy this lil thing me n vira whipped up for u!! (i stress wrote a lot of this ha.) also sry for lying & keeping you up but hopefully this makes u forgive me. but i hope ur day goes amazing ILYSM DUDE !!! <333 and a huge thank you to vira for hopping on board for this idea bc i cld not have done this without her !!! pls give her all the love !!!

vira’s note. KARLAAAA!!! i always gotta scream ur name it’s mandatory to start with a good scream ykno? bUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL 🥳  i already told u this too many times today but ILYSM !! like that full day without saying a single word to u felt so weird and i kept going into our chat and rereading our mssgs and wishing I was talking to u??? which is weird to admit?? but that literally how much i missed u idk how but im addicted to u so if you leave me I will literally die :))) aNYWAY have the bestestestest day ever and i hope u love the fic bc I ignored all my uni work to finish this !!! (also i feel reallyreallyreally bad about last night sO IM SORRY AGAIN BUT I HOPE THIS IS WORTH IT) 💖

Despite the papers carelessly stuffed into his leather briefcase, the dark coffee stain on his black slacks, and his unkempt locks resembling that of a bird’s nest, Namjoon’s become accustomed to the hectic nature of his mornings.

The kitchen table is practically buried under stacks of files, yet he brushes them aside to allow one corner of the glass surface to peek through. He plops the toddler in his arms onto a high chair before racing to the counter and sloppily pouring some honey nut cheerios into a small bowl, handing it off to his daughter. 

“Daddy?” her voice squeaks, a patient smile stretching across her lips. Her brown strands are tied up into pigtails at the crown of her head with pink ribbons that flutter with the movement of her tiny head. 

“Yes, angel?” He scurries around to their bedroom, peeling the stained fabric off his body and threading one leg through another pair of slacks fresh from the laundry. 

With Namjoon’s focus pinned on checking off the mental to-do list in his head, he misses the gentle, reassuring smile that stretches across her rosy lips. The adoration for her father is clear in her gaze. “You forgot to pour the milk.”

At the reminder, he squawks and hops back to the kitchen on one foot as he maneuvers his other leg through the pant hole. Swinging the fridge door open, he grabs the carton and sloppily pours the milk into her bowl—white droplets leaping out with their newfound freedom and forming perfect domes on the glass tabletop.

Cleaning the mess falls to the bottom of his priorities at the moment, and so he speeds off to the bathroom to ensure that his appearance is presentable for work while Dasom reaches over to pluck a tissue from the box, swiping the milky beads away before diving into her breakfast. She shoves as many cheerios into her small mouth as she can, rushing because she refuses to finish her meal in the car with their wild driver behind the wheel. 

Despite her mere four years of age, she knows from experience that a bowl of cereal and a shaky vehicle is a recipe for disaster.

Namjoon races over to his briefcase with most of his hair sleeked back, only the locks of his bangs hanging out to frame his forehead. As he slips his dark blazer on to complete his form-fitting suit, Dasom scoops the last few brown rings into her mouth and slurps the remainder of the liquid.

“Did you finish your milk?” he questions while cramming the edges of the loose leaves that peek past the seam of his briefcase, hurriedly zipping it up and turning to face her.

Dasom flips the edge of the bowl up to display its empty contents, gulping the last of her breakfast down her throat. As per routine, she scans her father for any inconsistencies in his attire, landing on his odd fitting bottoms.

“Daddy, your pants are on backwards.”

His eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, glancing down to affirm that the pockets at his sides are no longer at the front of his hips. Hastily, he shimmies out of his slacks once more and twists the fabric around to the proper orientation. 

Dasom hops off her chair, her bowl and wet kleenex in hand as she waddles over to the sink and waits for him to deposit the dirty dish into the sink and the sullied tissue into the trash. Although her short arms couldn’t reach over the countertop just yet, she’ll diligently drink every last drop of her milk in hopes of growing tall enough to take some of the load off of her father’s back.

He hoists Dasom up at the sight of the red car pulling up to the driveway, squeezing into the back seat. Namjoon doesn’t have to tell the driver to book it, as the calm man in front has learned to keep his foot pressed on the pedal. The car weaves through the morning traffic with concerning speed, snaking through the other vehicles littering the road as if they were no more than stationary pylons, simply there for practice.

Dasom remains on her father’s lap with his arms looped protectively around the seatbelt over her torso. She sinks into his embrace, fiddling around with his long, slender fingers as she watches the blurs of colour speeding past the window.

“Did you put your ballet shoes into your backpack, angel?” Namjoon loosens his grip on her, unhooking one hand to rummage through his own briefcase in order to confirm that he had indeed slid his laptop within the chaos inside. To keep her entertained, he playfully extends his digits out of her reach.

“Of course!” she chirps, a wide grin revealing the gaps between her teeth. The pads of her fingertips brush against his palm and tickle the sensitive skin there when she realizes that her arms lack the length required to latch onto his hand. “I can’t wait for class, we’ve got a new teacher coming in today!”

Humming absentmindedly, he sighs in relief at the sight of the silver device and packs the crumpled papers back in. “What happened to Ms. Kim?”

“She’s teaching the older class now.” The pout on her lips can be heard within the muffled lilt of her voice when she continues, “I asked her to stay until my birthday next week b-but she didn’t.”

Namjoon’s breath hitches at the reminder, but attempts to compose himself for his daughter’s sake. “It’s out of her control, angel, plus she’ll probably swing by anyway.”

His mind starts to fog up with the emotions he thought he buried last year–they swarm his every thought and nibble away at his sanity. He knows better than to believe that they would ever disappear. September will always be an insurmountable month for him.

“I might be a bit late to pick you up later, just sit tight and wait for Daddy, okay?”

She eagerly nods in response, noticing the dull red bricks of her school coming into view. “Okay, bye Daddy!”

Namjoon unlocks the seatbelt, wistfully watching his toddler bounce out of his arms and onto the asphalt below. No matter how many times he drops her off, it’s always difficult to be separated from her bright smile, but he reminds himself that it’s all for her; it makes things a little easier to bear.

“Have a good day at school.” He reciprocates her frantic waving through the window, craning his neck to watch her adorable form become smaller and smaller with the increased distance. Her full cheeks and crinkled eyes are engraved into the back of his mind.

Before long, Namjoon finds himself rushing into his office after an earful from his surly boss about everything from the late hour to the long list of meetings scheduled to all the work he’s got piled up. With his lips pursed and his head bowed, he somehow manages to make it past another lively morning.

Namjoon has a habit of overthinking. He figures it’s normal when you have a stressful job and a four year old full of energy to balance all by yourself. Not that overthinking about his daughter does him any good, because that is far from the reality. If anything, it just makes him, what you’d call, a bit... overprotective (over worrisome if you asked Jin). But it’s something he can’t really help. Even when she had just entered his life, so small and so blissfully unaware of the awful and evil things in the world, all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and shield her from it all as long as he could.

Though he’s very aware of the fact that it won’t be much longer, that won’t stop him from going over every single little thing that could go wrong in the meantime.

So, of course, when Namjoon’s asshole of a boss makes him stay two hours over his shift, all Namjoon can think about is Dasom. Is she okay? Has she eaten anything? Did she drink enough water today? She’s always dehydrated after her classes too. He usually calls Ms. Kim to check up on her, but his calls went straight to voicemail, which definitely wasn’t helping his hectic mind. Perhaps something had happened to her?

Oh god, maybe someone broke in and had injured Dasom?

The doors are thrown open, the sound of the doorknob hitting the wall reverberating through the room. The receptionist wearing her usual polka-dot dress jumps in her seat, eyes lifting from the intense scene on her phone to the entrance of the building. An unsure smile stretches across her ruby red lips at the familiar figure, though a bit disheveled and breathless. But before the customary ‘hello’ can even form on her tongue, the figure is rushing past her, leaving only a gust of air in his wake. The papers on her desk fall to the ground, and she sighs.

Namjoon is prepared to fight the (fictional) person who thinks breaking into a toddler ballet class is a good idea, but the scene in front of him once he pushes past the doors of the studio is one he is wholly unprepared for.

He sees Dasom first, and the relief that fills his body is indescribable. It’s far from the usual sight he’s greeted with when he picks her up late. She’s not sitting on one of the chairs in the far corner of the room. His heart doesn’t feel heavy, which comes with seeing his daughter so glum. This time it’s her laughter that greets him, not one provoked by him but by the figure standing in the middle of the room with her.

Dasom doesn’t seem to be aware of the presence of her dad yet, but the figure twirling her around turns, and her eyes land on Namjoon.

The reaction is immediate. The carefree smile that had been on your face slips off, a look of embarrassment and surprise overcoming your features. Namjoon only catches a glimpse, and somehow finds himself wishing that won’t be the last time he sees it. You let go of Dasom’s hand, quickly making your way to the stereo on the other side of the room. And that’s when-

“Daddy!”

Dasom wastes no time running into her father’s open arms, and Namjoon suddenly can’t remember why he was so worried in the first place. “Hi, angel.” he says, just loud enough for her to hear. She pulls back. “I’m so sorry for getting here so late. I promise i won’t do it again.”

But of course, Dasom holds nothing but forgiveness in her heart for her hard-working father. She does love teasing him, though. “Don't say sorry to me, say sorry to her.” she giggles, pointing behind her and Namjoon furrows his brow until he remembers they’re not the only ones in the room.

His eyes immediately move to where you stand awkwardly near the stereo, eyes moving around the room as if you hadn’t been watching the whole exchange. Namjoon sighs, realizing he definitely can’t avoid talking to you now. He stands straight, holding onto Dasom’s hand as he makes his way over to you. You only seem to grow more nervous as he nears, and Namjoon distantly recalls Jin telling him he came off as intimidating to most people. Something about his ‘beefy’ arms, in his own words. (“And that stupid and unfairly attractive face!”) He goes for a smile because it's not like he can control his physique.

“Hi, I’m so sorry about…”

Namjoon stops.

Maybe it was the overwhelming distress before, or the really shitty lighting of the studio, but he hadn’t realized how pretty you were before. But now he’s standing right in front of you and he can’t seem to form a coherent thought. Pretty can’t be the right word. He realizes how creepy he probably looks, running in here like a madman and then downright staring at the (very beautiful) woman who looked after his daughter? Not cool, man.

You clear your throat, before extending a hand to him. “Hi, I’m ____, the new ballet instructor.”

Your voice sounds just like honey.

Namjoon stares at your hand dumbly, before the sound of Dasom snickering (very discreetly) behind him snaps him out of it. But instead of introducing himself, or apologizing, or just taking your fucking hand, he says-

“What happened to Ms. Kim?”

He mentally face-palms.

Not. Cool. Man.

Your face falls, and Namjoon has never wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole more than he does now. “Uh, she’s instructing the teen class now.” you chuckle awkwardly, dropping your hand.

“Oh-”

“Daaaad,” Dasom's voice sounds annoyed, and perhaps it’s a bit silly of Namjoon to feel like he’s being scolded, but that is exactly how he feels right now. “I told you this. In the morning. Remember?”

He doesn’t. “Ah, right of course,” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck. It wasn’t like he meant to forget, he had just been too busy thinking about the other things every September would bring. “Sorry, I’m Kim Namjoon. Dasom’s dad.”

This time he offers his hand, and he thanks the skies above that you don’t seem to hate him because you fit your hand against his. Warm, like honey. How long had it been since he last made a fool of himself in front of a pretty girl?

Too long.

“I’m terribly sorry for arriving so late it’s just that my boss, who’s a huge-” Namjoon glances at Dasom, who is now in her own world, singing some song she learned in school, “jerk, decided to assign these reports last minute and the printer would just not work and then traffic hour-”

Your hand comes up to cover your mouth, but Namjoon can see the amusement bubbling in your eyes. He flushes a deep red, eyes falling to the floor, realizing he started ranting.

“It’s okay. Really.”

When he looks back up, there’s a smile on your face. Not like the one before, this one was more reserved, but genuine, reassuring. And just like that, he’s sure you don’t hate him.

Namjoon’s not sure he likes this feeling though.

“Straighten your arms out, girls!” you belt over the classical music that floods the studio’s walls, scanning your army of toddlers in tutus whose arms immediately tense at your command. Making your way through the row, you poke and prod everywhere from their shoulders to their ankles. “Arch your back more, Somin.”

Their muscles violently tremble in response to the strenuous routine you’ve introduced, facial features scrunched in concentration and a resolute will to uphold their positions despite the hyperextension of their limbs. A mix of pity and pride swells in your chest at their effort. “Keep your chins up, the annual recital is only a couple of days away.”

Cheers erupt throughout the small room, disrupting the focus and spoiling their perfect form, yet you refuse to quiet excitement because of the renewed vigour buzzing throughout the room. The next hour depletes all of their built-up energy with demi-piles, pirouettes and sautés.

A glance at the analog clock in the corner informs you of the five minutes remaining before the end of class, so you pause the speakers and instruct the girls to stretch themselves out as they wait for their guardians to trickle in. They collectively sigh in relief before dropping to the floor like flies.

You snort at their dramatics with an amused smile playing at your lips. “I said to stretch, not to lay down and nap.”

“Can’t we nap and stretch at the same time?”

Strolling over to the source of the voice, you cluck your tongue at her limp form sprawled across the wooden floor and cross your arms, struggling to keep your giggles from breaking your angered facade. “And how do you suppose we do that, little Miss Dasom?”

She flashes her toothless grin up at you. “Like this!” With one leg bent over the other and her hands looping around to hold her twisted limbs to her torso, she shuts her eyes and exaggerates her snores.

At this point, it’s nearly impossible to withhold your snickers, and the rest of the class joins in your laughter. You pick up on Dasom’s tinkling giggles between each of her heavy breaths. The lighthearted jokes continue as kids are signed out with bright grins on each of their faces.

You wait for the rest of the toddlers to file out one by one, waving goodbye and checking them off your list until, as usual, Dasom is the only toddler left. Her tiny feet still clad in her faded ballet shoes waddle up to you, tugging on your blouse.

“Your pirouette was a bit wobbly today, do you want to go over—”

“‘M tired,” she interrupts, slouching her shoulders with an adorable frown marring her lips. Her exhaustion is justified, since the routine is rather exhausting, and with their recital right around the corner, you worked them to the bone today.

The odd timing of the switch between you and Ms. Kim left you with a little under a week to tweak and perfect their current choreography. A sloppy routine is not the way you want to present your skills to their parents for the first time, thus you were stricter with the kids than normal.

Your sympathy wins out, and so you gather Dasom’s lithe figure into your arms as you head to the closest wall. With your back supported, you spread out your legs and place her in your lap.

“My birthday is this Thursday.”

“Mhm,” you hum, bobbing your head to signal for her to continue her train of thought.

Her back faces you, but when her head tips down to stare at her hands, you know she’s contemplating her words carefully. Rather than encouraging her to speak freely, you wait for her to feel comfortable enough to reveal her thoughts; and surely enough, her shell cracks open just enough for you to peep through. “Do you wanna come?”

“I would be honoured.” A giddy smile splits across your lips. “Is Daddy picking you up again today?”

She flips around in your hold, wrapping her arms around your waist and snuggling her head to your chest. Her words are muffled into the fabric of your thin shirt, but her tone indicates her affirmation.

Suddenly self-conscious of your heartbeat—that Dasom can definitely hear with her ear pressed up against you—picking up pace at the mention of her father, you suppress your thoughts with a guilty conscience. You internally chide yourself for harbouring feelings for the charming, taken, man, defying arguably one of the most important fundamental rules of becoming an instructor.

Do not develop silly crushes on your student’s parents.

“Ms. ____?” her faint question snaps you out of your reverie, attention brought back to the present moment. While preoccupied, your hand took on a mind of its own, gingerly patting the space between the little girl’s shoulder blades at a slow rhythm.

She gazes up at you when you halt your rhythmic movements, sharp eyes boring into yours. “Are you gonna ask Daddy to come see me dance?”

The edges of your lips flip up in what you hope to be an encouraging smile as you nod your head. Subconsciously, you begin to stress over another encounter with Namjoon, formulating a script to hopefully avoid the stiff, tense atmosphere that lingered throughout all your previous interactions.

“Daddy’s always really busy,” she slurs, drowsiness coating her words and weighing down on her lids. Grumbling under her breath about her numb legs, Dasom crawls onto the floor beside you with her head resting on your thigh. “He’s always working hard for me.”

Your eyes soften at the fetal position she’s taken up on the ground; not only was Dasom lucky to have such a dedicated father, but Namjoon was also blessed with a caring daughter. “You don’t think he can make it?”

“It’s okay,” she whispers and you have to crane your ears to listen. You stroke the strands littering her forehead, gingerly caressing the crown of her head. “It’s okay if Daddy can’t come. I know him, he’s trying to do it all because Mommy’s not with us anymore, but it’s okay. I still love him even if I can’t see him lots.”

A knot forms between your eyebrows, a bittersweet ache forming within the creases of your heart. The painful constriction of your chest ebbs and flows with your shallow breaths that can’t seem to make it past your throat. You bite your lip to subdue the plentiful liquid gathering at your waterline.

No more than a croak escapes your lips before the door to the studio flies open, meeting the adjacent wall with a bang!

“I’m so sorry, my meeting ran late and I couldn’t—” the rest of his speech gets stuck in his windpipe at the sight of you, eyes rimmed red and sniffling, with Dasom, ostensibly dead asleep, on your thigh. “Did she…?”

You blink away your incoming tears, although your dignity has been completely thrown out the window, seeing as he believes that his four-year-old kid made a grown woman, who just so happens to be her ballet teacher, bawl her eyes out.

As you go to gently shake Dasom awake, she sluggishly lifts her head off of your lap and starts to scale your torso like a koala on a tree. Your confusion is vocalized through the high-pitched hum in your throat, but your efforts to pry off her limbs, tightly wound around the small of your waist, are futile.

“Uh, Dasom? It’s time to go home now, angel.” Despite his firm words, Namjoon’s tone is unsure and shaky; he can feel cold sweat build up in the lines of his palms. He knows his daughter, and she can be periodically stubborn and insistent the way children are at her age, thus even as you come to stand, she’s stuck to you like glue. “Would you, uh, did you need a ride?”

You mimic the sheepish smile on his face, hoping the flaming blush you feel on your cheeks isn’t as visible as it seems. “Sure.”

With Dasom latched onto you, both of you make your way to the red car outside after you lock up the studio. Namjoon courteously opens the car door for you, what with your arms supporting his clingy toddler; although, with the brute force he uses, you worry for the state of the hinges. Thankfully, they stay intact and he’s able to slip into the backseat after you.

Before an awkward silence can settle, you clear your throat and prepare to ask him about his day, but you’re interjected by Namjoon’s sudden stammering, “D-driving’s such a hassle for me so Jin drives us everywhere. Jin knows how to drive though, so, don’t worry.” He finishes with a deep chuckle that dies off nearly as quickly as it began. Oh, that’s unexpected.

“You don’t to drive yourself?” Rather than being processed in your brain and logically thought through, the question immediately enters your mouth without any prior scanning for dumbass-content. You instantly regret it, feeling as though it’s much too invasive. “You don’t have to answer that, I—”

The hearty laughter that meets your ears is “No, I do. Sometimes. But its easier raising this one like this.” His tone turns sweet at the mention of Dasom as he reaches over to pat her head, and you’re overcome with an intense desire to prod more into his personal life. Why does he have to work so much? Which shirt in his closet is his favourite? How does he like his eggs in the morning?

“I’m not sure if you already knew about the annual recital on Saturday, but Dasom’s been practicing really hard for weeks and the kids are all really talented, so it would definitely be worth your time...”

As he’s gazing at his daughter, galaxies of devotion and longing swirl within his cocoa irises. The cool light of the moon shines through the windows of the car, illuminating his sharp jawline and strong brows. You’re absolutely mesmerized by the sight in front of you. “You must be really busy, huh?”

“More than I’d like to be.”

You rip your entranced gaze away from Namjoon, willing yourself to steady your frantic breaths.

The remainder of the ride still drips with awkward tension, although with a definite lighter tone than before. Jin pulls up to your apartment with your direction and you dislodge a sleepy Dasom from your torso, which is much easier now that her limbs have gone slack with sleep. Handing her off to Namjoon, who practically engulfs her tiny form with his broad chest, you rush out of the vehicle with a quick, “See you!”

You slam the door closed before he can say anything, racing into the comfort of your home with your heart in your throat.

The last thing you had expected to do on a Thursday evening was to go to a birthday dinner. Thursdays are your days off, your in-days. The ones you spend lounging on your couch with a face mask and some wine. And yet, here you are.

When you received a text this morning, the last person you had expected it to be was Namjoon. Much less Namjoon asking you to come over for Dasom’s birthday. You weren’t going to say yes, hell, you had thought of downright ignoring it. It was weird, wasn’t it? But Dasom had quickly carved a toddler-shaped hole into your heart. Truly, you had said yes before the message was even typed out.

And so now you stare at the tall apartment building in front of you, definitely feeling more nervous than before. You knew that Namjoon had to be well-off to afford a weekday chauffeur, but damn did you not expect him to be this well-off.

It seemed today was the day to expect absolutely anything.

You enter the opulent building, signing in at the front desk before entering the large, mirrored elevator. The beating of your heart picks up the more floors you pass, and you can’t help but fidget with your appearance. Namjoon had said it would only be you three, which you guessed was supposed to calm your nerves but really, it did anything but that. The mere thought of eating dinner with Namjoon was nerve-wracking. But now you were about to eat dinner and enter his home; you had no fucking clue what you were getting yourself into.

The doors slide open, and you step into the hallway. A single door could be seen at the end of the hallway, so you quickly make your way over. You stop right in front, taking a deep breath in before pushing the doorbell. A beat, a crash, another beat, then-

The door swings open, and your breath catches in your throat.

Namjoon looks heavenly as always, but seeing him in clothes other than his usual black slacks makes your heart do a cartwheel. God, this is dangerous.

“Ms. ____!”

Before Namjoon can form a hello, Dasom is running past him and wrapping her small arms around your legs. “You came! See daddy! I told you she’d come.” her tongue pokes out of her mouth, aimed straight at her father and you stifle a laugh.

“Did he think I wouldn’t?” you ask, eyebrow arched as you glance at Namjoon, who seems to have a permanent pink hue on his face.

“He said you wouldn’t!”

“Oh, really? What else did he say?”

“He said I had to help him clean either way!”

“Alright, Dasom. That’s enough.” He says firmly, clearing his throat and trying to act as unaffected as possible. His eyes shift to meet yours. “Why don’t you come inside?”

As much as this day really sucked for Namjoon, today had been… different. Not all too much. Of course, getting up was the hardest part, but he had decided to make Dasom her favourite breakfast meal instead of her usual cereal. He had also made sure to get her all the toys she had been wanting, and planned their day out to do Dasom’s favourite things. Namjoon just wanted this day to be special for her. That was all he cared about.

But when Dasom had asked him to invite you, he had hesitated.

Dasom had never spent her birthdays with anyone else but Namjoon. Not that it was intentional, but Namjoon liked to have this day just for the both of them. Because that’s how it’s always been. He didn’t know what it was about you that made his daughter talk about you all the time. Or why she wanted to spend a birthday with you. But how could he deny her? And so, the text was sent.

And now, as Namjoon puts away the dishes while you sit on his couch, he realizes he hadn’t thought of her today. Not as much as the years before. Dinner had been so... nice. It felt nice to have someone else around. Namjoon loves Dasom, but he hadn’t realized how distant he had gotten from everything that had once seemed to be the centre of his life.

Namjoon closes the dishwasher, exiting the kitchen and making his way to the living room. He places the two glasses on the table before pouring the dark red liquid.

“I hope you like Merlot.”

“Oh, please. Anything’s fine.”

You take the wine glass, sending him a thank you before taking a drink. “So,” you lean back, “remind me how to play this again.”

“Ms.____ I told you. You have to take a block without knocking the tower over,” Dasom shows you by pushing a middle wooden block out, “then you have to place it on top, like this.'' She places the same block on top of the tower.

“Ah, right! I just need to make sure if I want to win.”

“You can’t! I’m the best!”

“Oh really? And what about you?” you turn, brow raised and eyes playful.

“Pshh,” he scoffs, leaning forward. “Who do you think she takes after?”

He doesn’t think he’s ever lost a game so quickly.

Namjoon watches as you close Dasom’s door quietly from the hallway before you make your way back to the family room. “She’s out like a light. I guess all that tower building got to her.”

Namjoon snorts. He feels oddly disappointed as he watches you gather your things to go. Was it weird that he wanted you to stay? “Do you need me to get you a ride? I can call Jin to drive you home.”

“No, it’s fine! Really! I already ordered an Uber anyway.” You grab your coat near the door. Before Namjoon can unlock the door, you touch his shoulder. “Listen, thank you for inviting me today. I know you probably wanted to spend this day together instead, but I... “ you inhale, because you aren’t sure of what you want to actually say “thank you.”

Would it be weird to say how much better you made today? Probably. “You don’t… have to thank me. I think I should be the one doing the thanking. I really wanted this day to be special for Dasom and you… you definitely helped. So, thank you.”

The door opens, and the light of the hallway fills his dim flat. “Guess we’re even then.” you smile before turning, making your way to the elevator. Namjoon shuts the door once the sight of you is gone, but the smile on his face remains

“Guess we are.” he whispers wistfully

Perhaps stopping at a flower vendor when you’re already running late was a bad idea, but Namjoon wasn’t thinking about time. He had seen the bouquet of flowers and imagined the huge smile that would stretch across Dasom’s face, and that was all he needed to swerve into the left lane.

Now, though, as he anxiously watches the cars in front of him move a foot forward after thirty minutes, he’s sure he should have just left the fucking flowers alone.

Namjoon doesn’t know how long he’s been shifting his eyes from the traffic to the watch ticking around his wrist, but by a miracle, the cars start moving. Slowly, then he’s speeding down the highway, praying to the skies above he’ll make it in time. Even if he arrives in the midst of the dance, he can’t miss this recital. He won’t.

He sighs in relief when he sees the familiar glass building, though it’s cut short when he sees the parking lot. No available place in sight. Fuck. Namjoon is sure he looks insane right now, swerving around the parking lot in search for an empty spot, or really just any fucking spot that looks like it could fit his monster of a car.

Then the clouds seem to open up, and right near the entrance is a vacant spot. Namjoon swears his mouth almost waters at the sight. Quickly speeding around the lot, he parks, but not before flipping off the angry parent who tries to beat him to it. Namjoon exits his car, quickly grabbing his coat and the large bouquets of flowers from the backseat. He runs to the entrance, practically throwing the shriveled paper at the ticket clerk.

Namjoon slows as he nears the theatre doors, taking a deep breath before calmly opening it. He had completely forgotten to book seats in advance, so he’s not surprised to see the velvet seats filled to the brim. When he looks to the stage, he’s relieved to see that there’s still time until Dasom comes on.

Now, Namjoon knows he’s not the most… balanced person. It’s common knowledge that he trips over his feet and knocks things over sometimes. (Oh, but definitely more than the average person.) Now, if you were to ask Namjoon if he pays attention to his surroundings, he'd say yes.

But if you were to ask Namjoon what he tripped over, he wouldn’t know. It doesn’t matter, because now there’s a furious mother with a horrendous bob cut glaring at him, and what he thinks to be a broken camcorder on the floor. The only thing he can manage is an awkward smile and an even more awkward apology. Namjoon offers to give her the cost for repairs, hell, even offers to buy her a new one. The woman snatches the bills from his hands but she doesn’t go back to minding her business like he thought she would. No, instead she starts to argue with him, in the middle of her child’s recital, no less!

Namjoon can’t do anything but stare at her as she blabbers on about how horrible he is for throwing her camcorder on the floor. (Not like it had much life left, that thing looked like it was from 2007.) She’s damn near spitting on his face, and causing other parents to turn around and glare at them. As if it was his fault. Who knew she had such an attachment to the damn thing!

A hand lands on his shoulder, and for a second he’s sure it’s security ready to escort him out of the building. But when he turns, he’s surprised to see it’s you. Like an angel had ascended from the clouds to save Namjoon from the wrath of a ballet mom. And just like that, you’re leading him away, taking a seat two rows before the stage. Namjoon’s eyes widen at the sight of the empty seat beside you.

It’s that feeling again, and Namjoon’s palms start to get sweaty as he takes a seat. “Jesus, thank you for that,” he whispers, relishing your quiet laughter that follows.

“Of course. She was probably a blink away from going full-blown Karen on you.” you tease.

“Oh, and that wasn’t?”

“Oh, Joon, you haven’t seen how angry ballet moms can get.” you both laugh, huddled together as if you’re sharing a special secret. It seems so natural. As if this is where he’s supposed to be. So much that Namjoon almost doesn’t catch the nickname, but how could he miss it when you say it just like she used to?

The stage lights darken, and Namjoon is grateful for the excuse to look elsewhere. He’s sure if he would have stared at you for just a bit longer, he would have done something completely and utterly stupid. “This is her.” you whisper, and Namjoon buries the thought away.

A blue hue shines across the stage before the soft melody begins to play, filling the room with the sounds of strings and keys. One by one, tiny swans begin to come into view, prancing around the stage. Namjoon catches sight of Dasom, looking adorable in her white tutu and he can’t help the proud smile that makes its way onto his face. He watches with adoration as she does her pirouettes, and maybe there’s some water overflowing in his eyes as they finish their dance, bowing towards the audience.

You both stand, clapping and cheering the loudest, uncaring of the stares from the snobby rich parents because you’re both too damn proud of Dasom to care. For a moment, Namjoon pretends that it’s different, simpler. That it’s not only his child on stage but yours. Ours. He thinks he likes the sound of that too much.

Once the show ends, you lead Namjoon backstage where the buzz of dozens of girls talking fills the air. You tell him that you need to check in on the other kids and disappear through a hallway. He spots Dasom quickly, or rather, she spots him.

“Daddy! You came!”

Namjoon lifts Dasom with his free arm, twirling her around before placing a big kiss on her forehead. Her giggles fill him with delight, and he doesn’t care that his cheeks hurt from how hard he’s been smiling. “Of course I came, angel. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He places her on the ground before he grabs the bouquet of sunflowers from his other arm. The sight of her favourite flower makes Dasom jump with joy. She takes the flowers, and Namjoon silently coos at how much smaller they make her look. Then she spots the other bouquet of flowers in his arm. She scrunches her brows together, about to ask who those are for before her eyes catch something behind Namjoon.

“Ms. ____!”

“Dasom!”

Dasom jumps into your arms, and you laugh at her enthusiasm. “You did so well! I’m so proud of that pirouette!” You twirl her around once her feet hit the ground, smiling as you watch her stumble slightly. Namjoon can’t help but smile too.

“Look what daddy got me, Ms. ____! Look!” Dasom lifts the flowers up, almost shoving them into your face.

“Wow, these are very beautiful, Dasom!”

“Look! He got you some too!” she giggles, and you look at her confusedly then at Namjoon. He sighs, looking pointedly at Dasom despite the cherry hue making its way across his cheeks. She giggles once again before running to her friends. “Dasom!” but it's futile.

If it weren’t for the consistent chatter, Namjoon’s sure there would be an agonizing silence to fill the space between you. You walk closer to him, looking down at your shoes bashfully. “Ah, these-” he takes the bouquet from his arm, “these are for you.”

You looked surprised to say the least. Eyes wide and glassy, your mouth falling ajar. “Wow, uh, really?” you ask, glancing up from the bouquet. He nods shyly.

Listen, he had only planned to buy Dasom her favourite flowers. But then he caught sight of these beautiful yellow roses, tips painted a light amber orange. Somehow they reminded him of you. And the way you had left him with his heart feeling lighter for the first time in years the other night. Maybe it was a way of saying thank you. He’ll admit, he didn’t think it all the way through, but the way you’re smiling at him right now makes him think it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

There’s a moment where it seems to just be you and him, despite the tons of parents and children running around. He’s only focused on you, and the way your eyes drop to his lips, if only for a millisecond. Namjoon wants to say it. God, he wants to say it so badly. “Listen I… I’ve been meaning to ask you,” his voice fades away as his eyes catch yours. Hopeful. Beautiful. Glimmering.

Just like hers.

“Do you, uh, need a ride home?”

And the bubble bursts.

You step away, looking at anything but him and he hates it. He despises it. He wants you to look at him like that again. He wants nothing more than to pull you back and kiss you senselessly, like his mind is screaming for him to do. But he can’t. He can’t do it for some fucking reason and he almost wants to cry in frustration because why can’t this just be easier? Why is it so hard to move on? You don’t deserve this. You deserve so much better than what he can offer you. And that thought keeps him still.

“Uh, sure.”

Quiet.

Say something, idiot! Tell her what you’ve been dying to say! Just fucking say it!

Namjoon hates himself for the next words that tumble out of his mouth.

“Let’s find Dasom.”

The drive to your house is just like it was before, except this time there’s no chatter to fill the emptiness. Dasom is sound asleep in the backseat. You've never seemed more distant than now, facing the window, body pressed against the door. You had almost begged to go in the back with Dasom, and Namjoon doesn’t know why he didn’t just let you.

How did it come to this? This wasn’t what he wanted. This night wasn’t supposed to go like this. Everything should have gone differently.

He doesn’t know how he’ll ever fix this. If things will go back to normal. If he completely ruined it. But he’s too afraid to ask. Too afraid to know.

Namjoon has never hated the quiet more.

The sight of your apartment complex fills him with dread. All he can think about is all he wants to say, all he should have said, all he wants to take back. God, Namjoon wishes he could take it back. If only there was a way to turn back the time. Why had he been so afraid to make a move? Why did it hurt so much? But he knows going back wouldn’t help. Not when he doesn’t know if he would have done it differently.

His car comes to a stop, and the doors unlock. He faintly catches the small thank you before the passenger door slams shut. Namjoon watches as you make your way up the pathway, feet moving briskly and it feels like he’s watching you walk away from him.

You’re shuffling through your bag, looking for your key. And fuck, is he really just going to this go?  Is he that stubborn that he can’t see past himself? He can’t. He can’t let you go. Not like this.

Well do something, dumbass!

The door of his car is thrown open, and before he can overthink it-

“____!”

You still. You turn.

Namjoon shuts the door. He walks up the steps and stops a few feet away from you, but he feels like he’s miles away. You look up at him, questioning. Your eyes aren’t the same ones. Not like you looked at him before. Yet they’re still warm. Inviting. Namjoon is tongue-tied, and all those words he wanted to say are gone now.

“Are we… good?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I just…” he scratches the back of his neck. “That moment back at the recital. I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” you say, simply. When he looks at you, he can’t tell what you’re feeling. You’ve blocked him off. “Namjoon, really. It’s fine.”

But is it really? He wants to ask. But he doesn’t. It’s quiet again, this time the sound of the wind rustling the browning leaves above filling the space. Still.

“I… god, I don’t know why this is so hard. Ever since, you know,” you don’t. “I… I didn’t think I'd ever get an opportunity to…” he inhales, unsure of what he wants to say first.

“I just feel like I ruined it so carelessly.”

You don’t say anything for a few moments. You only stare at him, really stare at him. Like you can see through his mirage, through the walls he’s spent so long building up. You’re taking it all, but there’s nothing he can take back from you.

“You didn’t.” you whisper it so quietly, Namjoon would have thought his mind had taken pity on him. But a smile slips onto your face. Unlike the other ones. It doesn’t fill him with joy. It doesn’t give him butterflies. This one hurts.

And he knows you’re telling the truth.

“This… It might take a while.”

The wind picks up. The leaves rustle. The cold, biting.

“That’s ok. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

Your lips are bittersweet on his tongue.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN TO KARLA !! ILYYYY <3

[cvastals]

i brought forrest in like a month n a half ago then panic dropped him bt hes back w a vengeance......... this intro is fully jst copy n pasted from when i originally posted it bt . tosses it out anyway in case anyone hasnt read it before winks n struts into the sunset

* zethphan smith-gneist, demiboy + he/they | you know forrest abbott, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole golden retriever excitement when someone strikes up conversation, paint streaked overalls worn without care, polaroids of places travelled scattered across the wall thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 23rd, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

background.

for 10 years it was just forrest and his mama lydia in their cozy little trailer at lilac ridge, he’s never met his dad who left as soon as he discovered she was pregnant, not really interested in raising a kid with someone who struggled to get by even while working three jobs

from a young age forrest had to take care of himself since his mama worked sm, but he always got the concept that it was for him to live a good life and necessary for them to get by, she rly showed it well by making sure he knew how much she loved him whenever she cld b around :’)

it was around this time that things were starting to look up - his mama met a really nice man named marcel n while things moved really fast for them they seemed to be a perfect match, soon she was engaged and giving birth to triplets and they even moved into his place in aquila drive, everything was coming up roses

unfortunately as soon as things were good they sort of came to an immediate crash - lydia n marcel tried for another bebe before their wedding but she ended up having a miscarriage :( this sort of sent her into a depressive spiral for a really, really long time

it was bad enough that marcel eventually had enough, she wouldn’t take her medication, wouldn’t talk to a therapist, couldn’t even get out of bed, so he said she had to shape up or go back to their place in lilac ridge, and stubborn as she was she packed everything up that night and the 5 of them went back to their little trailer, this time with a lot less room and a lot more responsibility on forrest’s shoulders

since he was about 14 he’s juggled an abundance of jobs to help his family, it was especially hard when they moved back to lilac ridge, he mostly took care of his little brothers and mum when he could but he had school and work on top of it, it rly was the sort of stress no one shld go thru but he did at a rly young age for quite a long time

details.

still lives at lilac ridge w his family, his mum got a pretty well paying job as a psw but it’s still difficult when u have three 12 year olds running around so forrest watches over them a lot while working as a tour guide at the aquarium, selling art pieces at community events, and odd photography jobs, whatever will put money on the table

grew up incredibly shy and pretty anxious, he’s just used to people leaving so it’s hard for him to trust but he’s also a classic golden retriever boy, if people give him an inch he’ll take it right away but he struggles with approaching people himself, definitely wasn’t too popular in school bc of this

did a double major at the community college for photography and visual arts :yum:

he tries not to doo Too many photography jobs cuz he loves it more as his escape than anything, travels around irving a lot to find random locations and will just spend hours taking pictures, u cant see any of the walls in his tiny bedroom theyre jst covered in his own pictures and art

could paint for hours too tbh, does a lot of art classes whenever he has time and money to spare

has never been in a relationship or even with anyone, the most he’s done frankly is casual make outs at parties or wtvr, always kinda chickens out if it ever goes any further……….. has not picked up on the fact that hes a demisexual/demiromantic king<3 probs doesnt even kno what that is LKSHDGKLHSDG

bc of this wtvr friendships hes made hes definitely romanticized, frankly by accident, he can just grow attached quite easily and since hes demiromantic anytime hes ever had a crush on someone its been ppl hes close to n has learned to trust. it confuses him a lot. LKSDHGKLHSDLG

constantly walks around in paint covered clothes.

obsessed w 80s pop its easily his fav genre (taste)

ok i think thts all……….. i hv rn……………….. lks around hands on hips

connections.

childhood friends!!

also ppl who forced their way into his life, basically jst approached him first n as soon as they showed him any sort of kindness n affection he was automatically like . ok we’re attached fr life sis<3

neighbours at lilac ridge?? mayhaps??

ppl at parties who’ve made a move or he’s hooked up w but when it came down to the Nitty Gritty he was like . oh………….. i think my mums calling me……….. i gtg……………………….. jst no explanation. LKSHDGKLHDSGL

i rly lov the idea of him hvin someone he loves to use as his muse……. either fr his art or photography<3

mayb someone who he actually was almost in a relationship w once upon a time bt it jst didnt work out, timing was off or he backed out cuz he felt bad that he probs cldnt give them his full attention w helping his family etc.

coworkers at the aquarium!!

old college classmates/ppl who take art classes w him??

ok i think those r all the ideas i hv rn. we can also brainstorm. lets get wild.

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[reversecreek]

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

[furyfought]

abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway .  they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but. 

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro. 

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff. 

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch. 

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋."  + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts. 

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked.. 

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨. 

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster. 

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

[strvwberryblcnde]

👫 teddy/lana

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

ok so. lana has a habit of sharing food as one of her many love languages i think. she jst likes.... giving ppl things even if it means she’ll have less. she’d let a wolf make a meal out of her n eat every last piece if she loved him n she knew he’d feel full. bt of everyone i feel like teddy hs always been the one she does this w most.... like even when they first met in the cafeteria she gave him spoonfuls of her greek yogurt n honey. whenever she’s eating fruit (which is a lot she’s obsessed w strawberries n peaches n grapes n tangerines n oranges) she’ll ALWAYS give him half whether tht’s segmenting up pieces or dividing bites evenly between them n Without Fail it’ll always b half tht she gives him whereas she might give other ppl like.... a bite or a piece or two bt......... it’s rly specific each time tht she gives teddy half. it isn’t even intentional it’s jst like a subconscious thing bt if we were to slide on spectacles n analyse this in an english class fr it’s Meaning then. looks at u then looks away. i think this represents the way tht teddy hs always felt like another half of her. they’re one in the same. in a lot of ways they’re very similar mayb even................ TOO similar n that’s why it’s been sch a fking.... bastard of trying to work things out ever bc they very much hv the same rampant commitment issues n bad timing n fears of never being gd enough. i feel like in the past a guy she ws dating (noncommittally as lana tended to do these things) wld have even noticed this n it would have bugged him a lot just like... how close she was w teddy in general............. n he would’ve one day brought it up in the middle of a fight he’d picked jst cutting away from what they were talking abt to be like. u only ever give me one bite but u would give teddy all of it if he asked u to. tell me i’m wrong. n she’d scoff out a laugh in disbelief looking around like omg...... all this over a fruit...... what are u even sa-- n he’d cut her off n be like. literally tell me i’m wrong lana. n she wouldn’t even b able to after going quiet n rly realising what it was he was actually Saying. he’d storm out. relationship over. icons of always being a little bit in love w each other n not even noticing it until someone else points it out <3

god. sighs dramatically at the idea i jst had. i cn imagine in la verse lana being rly drunk getting bk from a date one time n inevitably it was just some random loser since she’s back to dating Trash in this era bc she just truly cbas trying after her breakup w dom n............. it would be like a parallel to tht one time they’d fallen out over him sleeping w imogen when she ws upset w him bt crawled into his bed drunk at a party just to lie w him for a little while despite everything...... she wld have gone to his instead of hers on some drunken automatic pilot n somehow got into his room n..... she’d clamber in n flop nxt to him n maybe it wld be funny at first if he woke up n was like lana what the fk...... are u doing here.... so disorientated n confused.......... n she’d just be joking initially bt very clearly drunk like making fun of her date talking abt how he kept complimenting his own hair n calling himself a tesla in a sea of prius’ n checking himself out in every window they passed n then the laughter wld slowly trickle off n she’d go kind of quiet fr a moment n maybe teddy wld assume she ws passing out bc she’d drank sm bt after a short silence she’d perk up with a mumble out of nowhere n, barely conscious of what she’s saying, b like “why didn’t u wait for me like u said u would”. n if he was like.............. huh? she’d have her eyes shut n just b murmuring half awake then open them sleepily to look at him n rly quietly be like........ “u promised”. mayb she’d even reach out to gingerly trace his face bt then her wrist wld go slack bc she was rly tired n she’d just wriggle closer n tuck her head to get comfy n be like “warm” then promptly fall asleep. JSGSFKGHFHGKHGSFKH. literally jst jolting him awake w this rarely serious n genuine conversation then passing out. jst the worst fk teddy’s life bet he lay there staring at the ceiling fr so long after tht one <3 lana wouldn’t remember this in the morning either she’d wake up like why am i here........ did we meet up last night............ teddy jst like >_> u crashed here it was nbd.

i picture the first week they moved to LA lana wldn’t have admitted it bt she wld be feeling rly homesick............ radcliffe was very much like the first place she truly felt was her home n she’d miss all of the ppl there n just the general area A Lot............. one night i can see her jst wanting to spend with teddy to have like a sense of familiarity in an unfamiliar city (even if she’s spent a decent amt of time there over the yrs bc of jameson records hving studios etc bt still) n i’m imagining them like. breaking into an indoor swimming complex that her n her friends in high skl used to break into in the summers when they vacationed yrs ago.... maybe lana still has a key cut tht works from a connection she made bk then idk <3 it doesn’t matter <3 n they’d inevitably be drunk n just messing around n splashing each other n doing handstand competitions n all the typical..... fun frivolous childish antics lana n teddy tend to get into whenever they’re around each other.... truly jst transformed into big kids whenever they’re in the other’s company..... inspired a little by this gifset jst in terms of the playing around underwater vibe. anyway. mayb they mostly dry off bt they end up climbing up onto the rooftop after n it’s a baking summer night anyway so it isn’t like they’ll catch a cold being damp bt they share a big fluffy towel n bottle of rum between them huddled overlooking the lights of the city. n maybe somehow it gets onto lana admitting how much she misses home n how it’s kind of weird being here especially bc she’s further from caleb. she’s never been this far from him since he was away in the army n we all kno hw tht turned out. mayb she’d go a bit quiet after saying this bt then i think she’d take his hand w their fingers laced together n she’d rest her head on his shoulder n be like. at least i’ll always have u. it’s like i took a piece of home w me. we’ve always had each other like that. then she’d perk up n lift her head n be like let’s make a deal. i’ll be ur home if u’ll be mine. ok? n make him pinky promise. i dnt think she’d quite consider the sentimentality in tht bt 😔 she nvr rly does she jst says what feels natural without attention paid to the deeper meaning tht motivated it n.... sighs. looks at u then looks away....

this is inspired by tht scene in don’t trust the b in apartment 23 where she’s like “look. that video of me getting rawed by my best friend means the world to me.” KJGFGJKSFHKGHKSFGHKFSHKGSHGK god. inevitably in lana n teddy’s prime when they were literally hooking up 24/7 in earlier college yrs they made.............. a few videos. i mean it’s jst realistic. it’s jst common sense. probably even a feature length film at one point. n i had this idea where bc teddy’s trying to get into acting etc mayb if he gets an agent his agent is like.... do u have any dirt u need to take care of? loose ends to tie up? incriminating files to delete? sex tapes? n if he was like... ya..... mayb his agent wld have asked him to delete them if he still had them on his computer or w.e i mean i kno lana wld n wouldn’t have deleted them she wld have been proud of their work of art...... bt maybe he told lana abt this just laughing abt it n the atmosphere ws lighthearted at first bc she’d find it rly funny too like ommmmggggggg i’m a skeleton in ur closet tht is so fun if u get famous i cld be blasted all over perez hilton that’s kind of sexy..... bt............... mayb she’d as a joke be like. mayb we shld watch it one last time before u delete it. kind of like a funeral service. a goodbye party. sailing out the flaming viking raft n paying our respects u know??? n they were joking bk n forth bt then she’d be like. seriously tho mayb we should? growing more accustomed to the idea actually being a genuine one even tho tht is fking. the WORST idea i have EVER heard in the world like i do NOT know how lana wld think she has the self control to do that bt in her head she’s like. teddy n i are jst best friends now... it’s fine........... we’re open w each other it’s just a bit of fun.......... n then i can imagine if he went along w this it’s like a game of chicken they’re playing w each other where they’re both like fking hell shd we do this.... dnt wna seem like I’M the one tht thinks i can’t handle it........ n it’s some back n forth like nick n jess in new girl where they’re daring each other to have the threeway w the landlord. bt then like not even.... a minute into watching it as they’re both silently holding their breath n crunching popcorn they mde for the occasion (insisting on acting like it ws just a normal movie night) lana wld literally have to be like. slams laptop shut. UMMMM i forgot.... i....... have a very important meeting......... n teddy’s just like. meeting? u don’t have a job... what are u ta-- n she’s like A MEETING A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING...... very blatantly squirming around as she slowly gets up n tries to head fr the door... n teddy’s like.... taking the excuse without much question too like... ya i have to run lines actually i jst remembered gt an audition coming up..... n they’re both like ya haha... maybe some other time.... or maybe just delete it it’s whatever.... anyway we gtg haha... bye.... ttyl...... lana wld literally hv to SPRINT out of there to go home n. deal w how flustered this made her i won’t lie. she bumps into parker n is all flushed in the face n is just like CAN’T TALK BYE n takes off sprinting again like some kind of freak. it’d b a train wreck. i jst think that’d b rly funny tho n dare i say it? it’s canon. 

[gayoongles]

50 questions tag

I was tagged by @mikrokosyoongs thank u bb🥺💘 1. What takes up too much of your time? currently studying + final projects😪 but usually my time is spent trying to keep up w all my kpop boys (mostly bts) hfudsihf 

2. What makes your day better? listening to music, playing my cello, talking to my friends, n rugby 3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? BLACK HAIRED TAE IS BACK (im still not over it bye) AND I GOT BTS TIX

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? uhhhh idk? maybe the hp universe but ngl I havent watched/read much lately that takes place in a historical setting besides got and I know for sure I dont wanna b there hfdjhf 

5. Are you good at giving advice? I like to think I am but idk 

6. Do you have any mental illness? sadly yeah😣

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no, thank fuck. id fr die 8. What musician inspired you the most? yoongi, min yoongi, suga, syub, the love of my life, and kim namjoon

9. Have you ever fallen in love? wish I cld say no hahah but

10. What’s your dream date? idk I dont rly have one hfudshf I like amusement parks a lot but also cuddling sounds like an AMAZING date idea

11. What do others notice about you? ppl always comment on my hair (bc I always have it dyed) and my height first so I guess those fhiusdfhi, personality wise tho, that im v quiet

12. What is an annoying habit you have? biting my nails. I try so hard every day to not but it ends up happening anyway

13. Do you still talk to your first love? no, thankfully

14. How many exes do you have? 5 and all of them ended up sucking yeet😛

15. How many songs are in your playlist? idk bc I have like 7483758 playlists 

16. What instruments can you play? cello! and a bit of ukulele but I havent picked it up in a while so im probably rusty

17. What do you have the most pictures of? bts, but out of all of them probably jm or yoongi

18. Where would you like to go before you die? everywhere, but mostly Europe Australia and Asia 

19. What is your zodiac? ima go deep bc why not so: leo sun cap moon aries rising. feel free to roast me in my asks abt that idk

20. Do you relate to it? my zodiac? lmao my sun no but my moon for sure

21. What is happiness to you? music. 

22. Are you going through anything right now? umm stress bc finals r in like a week but other than that no not particularly. I did just get out of a rly bad like month, almost 2 month long depressive episode tho so its been rough bouncing back from that bc I got behind on a LOT of work bc of it

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? not a specific decision but I trusted too easily in the past and it always hurt me

24. What’s your favorite store? I dont rly shop that much in specific stores ngl, maybe line friends tho? it was a rly cute store when I visited last month :(

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? your body, your decision. no one elses

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nah, theres things I wanna do but idc enough to write them down or keep track or anything

27. Do you have a favorite album? persona, lys tear, and dark and wild r so so superior dont @ me I won't change my mind

28. What do you want for your birthday? hfidshfi not 2 b that bitch but I always only ask for money

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? that I’m really quiet and reserved. also that im fucking short

30. What age do you seem according to most people? I got mistaken as 12 once when I was 18 but recently idk, maybe 17? probably not much younger now since I go to college

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? next to me on my bed bc I always end up falling asleep while on it

32. What word do you say the most? yoongi or some curse word probably

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 22 or 23? idk I havent rly thought of it much. except id date hyung line for sure if they fucking asked, screw age preferences in that case.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? 18 since im only 19 lmao

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? anything music related 

36. What’s your favorite music genre? any varying kind of rock except most metal (alt, indie, classic, etc.), pop (and that included kpop), and hip hop

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? um? tbh I like New York but uhh any country that it’s legal to be lgbtq+ in since my trans gay ass wldnt thrive anywhere that it’s illegal obvi

38. What is your current favorite song? dionysus and home and also bonfire by childish gambino

39. How long have you had this blog for? I dont know tbfh, maybe a year and a half? two years? bc it was a marvel blog before it was a bts blog so..

40. What are you excited for? METLIFE DAY 2 LETS GOOOO

41. Are you a better talker or listener? listener. talking takes a lot out of me mentally if im sober unless im w someone im rly comfy w

42. What is the last productive thing you did? uhh this weekend I finished 3 whole assignments dsifhi that's abt it

43. What do you want for christmas? idk? money? to get to spend time w my dad n step sisters? christmas is so far away man idk yet

44. What class do you get the best grades in? music related courses and english/writing

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 6, wld be more if I wasnt stressed out of my mine but ukno

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? mmm my hope is that ill b a relatively successful music producer/engineer by then but we’ll see how that goes lmaoo

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? threeee years ago I think? its been a hot second

48. What age do you want to get married? bro im only 19 I dont wanna think abt marriage

49. What career did you want to have as a child? a vet! and then I realized u had to put pets down sometimes so I said fuck that

50. What do you crave right now? physical affection lmaoo

m not gonna tag anyone bc I kinda took an break from work that I shouldn't have to do this so fhidsh anyone can do this if u want idk

[teddylawrence]

strikes a pose it’s me again w my second child, i haven’t played him in forever n i’m WEAK so i decided to bring him in!! same thing w sully like this n i’ll come at u 100 mph

HERE is his tumblr tag and HERE is his pinterest for more info winks

DAMN! Doesn’t take a psychic to know that THEODORE LAWRENCE looks a hell of a lot like HARRY STYLES. The CISMALE is known to be rather MELODRAMATIC, TEMPERAMENTAL & CHARMING from what I hear. HE is studying DRAMATIC ARTS and they're about 22, which must make them a SENIOR. It’s a shame TEDDY now has the fact that HE SLEPT WITH A PROF IN ORDER TO PASS THE CLASS exposed.

teddy lawrence was once upon a time theodore holland, born to annie holland when she was 16 and named after the baby daddy who DIPPED as soon as he heard that annie was pregnant lawl

she was an addict, by the time teddy was 2 years old he was taken from her bc she left him alone for a weekend on a bender and the neighbour called the cops when teddy wldn’t stop screaming his head off it was a wild time

from then on he bounced from foster home to foster home, was in a few boys only reform homes when ppl wldn’t take him in, he caused a bit of trouble in his later years bc he wld run away sm to meet up with his mom

the homes weren’t great tbh teddy went thru a lot of abuse and it jst hurt bc he wld grow attached to the kids he lived with then they wld b torn apart /:

he became pretty depressed and shut down fr the most part until he met the lawrence’s!! the sweetest lil fam on the block............. they ended up adopting him n he lived happily ever after w them n what not

he still has to take meds or he’ll fall into a Depressive Episode bt other tht? king of persevering!

he’s had a few grants from high school for ashby’s dramatic arts program n with a little bit of help he ended up earning a scholarship for his marks, but he got a lil cocky n slacked off a bit bt he literally cld not afford school without the scholarship so he literally jst . did wht he thought of first n slept w the prof of the class hoping they’d boost his mark which they did bt . he’s worried abt everyone finding out n questioning his integrity n spot in the program tbh

personality wise? a bit obnoxious and abrasive bt hilarious and means well..... deflects any real emotions with intense sarcasm bt u kno he does his best

enjoys hard drugs a bit too recreationally its an issue bt we love to have fun

Will Sleep With Anyone

wanted plots: a best friend!!, and friends in general tbh......., he wldn’t have very many bt it wld b funny if he had a few enemies, roommates!!, exes on good terms, exes on bad terms.... probs someone he broke the heart of?, or maybe an ex he actually wanted to be with/trusted n they broke his heart??, fwb’s, past fwb’s that he called it off with bc they got too close n it scared him, mutual crushes, unrequited crushes (either way), maybe a friend he knew from the foster system??, a dealer....., etc., i’m up fr anything!!

[sequoiann]

✎ it’s ya girl denise !!!!! and guess what!! yes it’s already in the header but hfsdk i’ve hit my first anniversary!!! it’s crazy that i’ve actually sustained my account for a year! im rly so so grateful tht i’ve built up this… thing…. :^) the tumblr fam + the friends ive made through this acc was a hugeee part of my 2017, and im sure it’d be an even bigger part of my 2018 ! i’d like to thank everyone for being willing to read my pile of bullcrap tht i pour out of my head, ive said this before n i’ll say it again: i never ever imagined tht i’ll have a successful writing acc on here! i’ve tried writing on other platforms (like wattpad) before but it nv rly worked out well long-term bc it became a chore for me to post n update my stories…. but it’s never like tht on tumblr bc of you sweet buttercups!!! thnk u all for constantly reminding me to take care of myself n for checking in on me randomly nd !!! for keyboard smashing your souls out + screaming @ me when i post content!! every little action you guys do rly impacts me a lot, n even when u guys just come by n drop a msg in my inbox my heart just combusts n 💞💛🚨💎💗💥💘‼ (okay enough yapping)

i honestly dont know how follow forevers work but ! i’d like to mention people tht hv, in one way or another, helped me to keep this account going! i cant mention e v e ry o n e but do know tht as long as you’ve made a single note on my dash or hv positive views on my content, you’d be in this list if i cld fit everyone!! i love you all and thnk u so much for everything!

💛: scroll 2 the bottom for a msg! 💗: bithc i’d fling myself out of the solar system for you ilysdm wth ⛅: i actl stalk ur page every few days n send in anon asks bc im a coward but haa thnk u 4 being an inspiration to humanity 💫: we dont talk a lot yet but i absolutely adore ur content!!! n i hope you’re well n happy bc u deserve all the love u can get !

a-c :

@andromedaneedsoxyjin 💗 @adoretexts ⛅ @ajuimaginary 💗 @boosoonhao 💛 @bfwooz 💗 @blondshua 💫 @bookwan 💗 @cheolshu 💫 @chittafont ⛅ @choco-seventeen 💛 @caratvocals 💛 @cosmicae 💗 @chillihansol 💛 @camera-seventeen 💫

d-o :

@dumbbelle 💛 @dreamingseventeen 💛 @gyuofficial 💫 @hansolmates 💗 @hoshidotcom  💫 @hyungwon  💫 @hxshi  💫 @honeywonu 💗 @jeongahn  💗 @joshsua 💫 @jiso2 💗 @jeong-hanie 💫 @joshpup 💗 @johshuas 💫 @jeonghney  💫 @kristian-do 💗 @kingyu97 💛 @kwoncity 💗 @lxveille 💗 @myungho ⛅ @neoyeppuda 💛 @oatmealupdates 💗

p-s :

@princeshushu @paintedshua 💛 @peachseong ⛅ @pasteluji ⛅ @pjimims ⛅ @rappershua 💫 @seventeendom 💫��@soongyuz @shuvee 💫@saythename17scenarios 💗 @starshua @sailorimagines ⛅ @swimmingfool 💫@sebongie-loves ⛅ @softmanscoups 💫 @softhaos ⛅ @soongyuz 💛

t - # :

@ttherose 💫 @taekemeaway ⛅ @tswoondere 💫 @vitaminhosh 💫 @versigny ⛅ @warmau ⛅ @welovekpopscenarios 💗 @writers-leir ⛅ @writingdummy 💗 @whatsoodo ⛅ @wonuz ⛅ @17cuties ⛅ @17cafe 💗 @17mounteens 💗

❥ @boosoonhao

love!!! okay hello hngh we hvnt talked the most yet but i dont think i’ve expressed my utmost love for you enough so yes let me tell you how much i l o v e your content, plus u post quality works so often it makes my little heart so !!! content !!! im not sure when you made your account n i think i discovered your blog a little late but thnk u for your effort in everything you do, u rly inspire me to keep working on my drafts :”) i lov you n i hope we get closer this year! even if im an awkward ass! 

❥ @choco-seventeen

chOcoOooO oh choco my juliet hskjdf hi it’s my annoying ass here to bother u again with my over-the-top affection for u!!!! you rly were one of the blogs tht made me start my own writing blog, n even when i did i nv knew i’d ever talk to u?? maybe through anon heuk but i rly thought u’d be tht holy figure up there tht i’ll never reach! i mean u are still tht holy figure but thnk u for being so friendly n nice n cute n for bcoming a friend 2 me!!! i lov u so much + okay pfft your works pffttt i wnt to frame them up in gold n hang them in my living hall wadafack bih

❥ @caratvocals

oh look another one of my inspirations whom motivated me to start out making fake texts!! kura my love hello !!! i knw we hvnt talked a lot in the recent months…? but my appreciation n love for u still ! remains ! the same !! i love your bubbly n kind personality n it’s rly similar to seokmin’s…. you’re the sun tht never goes out! thnk u for spouting random cute words bc wow thAT shiT you do makes me so soft n your texts??? my honey your texts are so legit i cackle whenever i read them !! i never know how you make them so realistic but i’d like to thank you for putting so much effort into your work ; n your scenarios omg when u released your first fic i wanted to roll in the grass n scream ! it was so good, the chan apocalypse one and the jeonghan day 27 (? i think?) one! i lov all your works basically, thnk u for being so inspiring n cute n for being yourself i lov u !!!

❥ @chillihansol

hanni hanni hanni HANNI !!! my virtual sister! the loml !!! i’ve got so many things to thank you for honestly, you’ve been tht pillar of support for me whenever my mind is just going haphazard ! n u always try to help whenever sth comes up n ure so kind abt everything i wna migrate to where u live omf // + i’ve seen u improve in your writing so much in such a short period of time i am shook tbh wht kind of black magic are u doing ?? ok but im so grateful to hv met u omg when i think abt u i honestly just…… burst into ugly tears bc wht did i ever do in my past life to deserve you ilysdm thnk u for coming into my life n staying here through all my bullsht

❥ @dumbelle

my ring ring ding a ling!!! my disney princess !!!! i love you so much do i need to say anything more!!! thnk u for always checking in on me with cute lil msgs n chatting w my boring ass ! you’re so sweet n kind n so crazy n wow i love crazy :^)) you’ve been posting such unique content on your blog…. i mean the moodboards + the speech text bubbles + the cute lil scenarios below tht?? wht the heck tht is so cute ???? the first time i saw  one of your moodboard i started chuckling 2 myself @ the dinner table n i wnted to shove the fork down my throat is2g ok ilyssm

❥ @kingyu97

feesha!! i rmb when you were still tht f anon tht i met indirectly through clar n lani, n you lil shits wouldnt tell me who u are !!! tht was a funny experience im not gna lie but tht aside, thnk u for always showing your support in my works + being my lil chat buddy!! you brighten up my days so much, sometimes u randomly pop into my inbox when im feeling under the waeather n it just… rly…. makes me smile n then sob in 54 languages bc i lov u n i hv done nothing to deserve everything u do for me n i just…. i just love u ok pls stay in my life ilyily

❥ @dreamingseventeen

yEt another one of my senpais ! my inspiration 2 write!!!! i’ve loved your works ever since i discovered cos, it’s rly one of the fics tht i rmb every detail abt bc i reread it everytime it fades from my dory memory!! i feel so honored tht i got to talk to n be friends with succch an amazing author like you, n i love how you’re just so sincere n genuine in everything tht u do! thnk u for supporting me + encouraging me when im hesitant to do stuff, im so grateful for you and i love you ! i hope you keep writing (although your cat walks all over you n your desktop kekk how cute), pls do rmb to stay healthy !!

❥ @neoyeppuda

i’d really want to make 2 separate dedis to the both of u clar n lani but this post is getting toooo long so i’ll try to be concise but at the same time (hopefully) be able to tell u 2 how much i love u!!! the both of u hv been supporting me for a while n i heard abt you guys a lot before, n when yall came into my inbox i shrieked when i found out tht it was the admins of neoyeppuda like woa i feel like a celebrity just noticed me?? the same feeling i got with choco when i interacted w her for the first time! thnk u both for being so sweet n kind n crazy with me, im so thankful tht the both of u are my friends :^) lani you’re so damn beautiful both inside out n i hope u dont forget tht, i knw things may be hard but it’ll get better - talk to me whenever alright ♡ clar you’re the adorablest fluffiest person ever ilysm thnk u for always hitting my soft spots haaaa :”))) i hope 2018 goes well for the both of u, n pls take care!

❥ @paintedshua

sophie!!! my lovely lavendar soap bar! i think you’d be able to expect wht i wna say already but thnk u for chatting with me at random times of the day / night abt random ass topics tht come off your head (or maybe mine?) ! it makes me so happy tht we’re able to talk so… calmly abt crazy topics n talk so crazily abt calm topics….. i dont think tht made sense but yes u get it hnghh thnk u for building this friendship with me! one tht i treasure with all my heart n soul!!! i hope you continue having happiness n bliss in your life bc u obviously deserve all the good u can get

❥ @soongyuz

priya!!!! wow i can write a freaking 87439-word essay for u bc i think?? tht you’ve been my longest (i dont think tht this is the correct term but) mutual? you’ve been here as heart anon, and let me tell you!!! those days!!! i wasn’t in the best emotional condition (?? ok this doesnt sound right too buT lets move on) then n your heart anon asks were so cute n so innocent n just so!! full of marshmallows n rainbow sprinkles !!! n then a priya emerged from tht n im so damn grateful tht you’ve been with me for so long, thnk u for absolutely everything tht you’ve done for me, i love u so much ♡ i hope you arent too stressed abt school + i hope ure taking care of yourself!

[wannawrite]

I Latte You Very Much

Wanna One’s Hwang Minhyun X Reader

Word count: 1761

• talented af barista! Minhyun like srsly he can do anything • your friend [ created character, Sujin ] suggested this new cafe • you now spend most of your time there…wonder why ;)

awwwww this one was adoraBLe I LOVED IT I HOPE YOU DO TOO ANON THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING. I’m sorry I only got it out like 3 weeks later :( i hate disappointing you guys still, thanks for showering us with love. We love you guys 💓

- admin L

PS: to be edited [ 8/8/2017 ] 

edited 11/8/2017 __________

The pen that was once in your hands landed with a soft thud on your workbook, uncapped. You had tossed it down with an irritated growl, upset about a certain mathematics equation that seemed simple enough to solve yet it had twisted you in circles for the past 10 minutes. It was driving you mad.

Just as you were about to give up studying as a whole, your best friend, Sujin seemed to sense your mood was off and called you.

“Hey!” She greeted enthusiastically before you had even said a word. “Remember that new… well two month old cafe everyone at school was talking about? The one with the insanely good coffee and really good looking baristas? I’m having trouble with homework too, want to meet there? Its like a 2 minute walk from your house anyways.”

“Uh, sure. Okay. Dress cute.” You mumbled, almost too tired for words but the prospect of good coffee AND cute boys made your feet move a little faster.

“Okay! See you then.”

Beep.

Your homework glared at you, the mountains of papers seemed to grow by the second. You had to finish them, this was a good chance. You were killing three… or four birds with one stone.

…

It was rather late when you arrived at the coffee shop but lucky for you, it was those kinds that stayed open until 2am. The lighting was rather dim and ambient around the seating area but you were almost blinded by the spotlights at the front of the shop.

However, if it weren’t for those lights, you wouldn’t have noticed the incredibly handsome barista who was currently taking an order.

His smile seemed to illuminate the room, his hair looked fluffy and softer than swan feathers. The man’s eyes twinkled as he beamed brightly.

You were stunned by his beauty to say the least.

So as to not seem like a freak, you forced your legs to move, to unroot from your spot in the middle of the entire shop to where Sujin sat, her table nearly hidden by books. The cafe was pretty crowded, she was lucky to be able to clinch a booth. You had a feeling the both of you were going to be here until closing time. College was hard work.

Sujin smirked as you approached, settling your things down beside her. She reached over and grabbed your forearm as you moved to take your wallet. “So, you think he’s cute?”

You furrowed your brow, faking confusion but she had been your friend for the longest time and saw right through your facade.

“Well, I don’t know much about him but his name is Minhyun. He’s in the music course with Sungwoon, he works here almost every day and yes, he is single.” She winked, taking a sip of her iced vanilla latte. It seemed to satisfy her tastebuds, that made you look forward to getting one too.

You blinked once, staring blankly at her. “I didn’t need that information though…What are you-”

“I saw the way you looked at him. Your heart jumped. Did it not?” Sujin smiled smugly. “Did it not? Hmm?”

A blush filled your cheeks as you bonked your wallet gently on her head, chuckling while trying to remain a calm composure. Now that you pondered about it, you had seem his handsome face sometimes in between classes. He must know Ha Sungwoon and Ong Seongwoo, two of your other friends in the music course.

Perhaps I could ask Sungwoon about him….

Shaking your head, you banished all the odd thoughts from your mind and walked forward into the queue. Sujin tapped away on her phone and you hoped she wasn’t texting Sungwoon or Seongwoo about Minhyun. If she did…you weren’t sure what would happen to her after you were done with her.

Sujin owes me a coffee. Ugh…should I get a strawberry cappuccino or a regular latte with requested foam art?

The customer in front of you ordered a iced matcha latte so you figured those must be pretty good.

“And… your name is?”

Oh my god, it was a place where they asked for your name. Sometimes I really hate this concept.

“Oh come on hyung, we live next door to each other,” the youth in front of you whined.

Minhyun laughed, scribbling down the boy’s name. “Okay, one iced green tea latte for Lee Daewhi. Hi, what can I get for you today?” He smiled at you.

You felt your steps falter as you approached the counter, it was suffocating to be in the presence of Minhyun’s beauty. On top of that, he seemed to have a nice and friendly personality.

“Uh…uh, um. What do you recommend?” You blurted out after a series of incoherent stuttering, your cheeks flushed red right after realisation hit you like a truck. “Sorry, that was so dumb of me.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Minhyun reassured, he put his pen to his lips, deep in thought. “If you like tea I really recommend The Sunset which is pomegranate, mango and peach tea combined. Hmm…what Daewhi ordered is a personal favourite, especially with azuki beans and chocolate sauce. Uhh, my friends seem to like the macchiatos but Bae Jinyoung is in charge of making those today and I would advise against trusting him.” ( rmb when everyone felt played bc Baejin tricked all of them hehe ) Minhyun drummed his hands on the counter, lips pursing as he thought hard. “What about a secret menu drink?”

That caught your attention, you looked at him with wide eyes. “Really? You’d do that?”

Minhyun nodded. “Yeah, of course. I can hone my barista skills. Give me a minute or two. Jisung hyung!” Another man came running from the kitchen, drying his hands on his apron and taking over Minhyun’s job at the cashier. He winked at Minhyun suggestively causing the him to roll his eyes and shake his head.

“Thank you!” You called cheerfully as you watched Minhyun gather several ingredients, he smiled but didn’t take his focus off his task. The sweet gesture made you blush and your heart fluttered madly in your chest. It was such a random yet genuine offer. Your face didn’t cool down even after you returned to your seat despite how dim the lighting around there was. Sujin resorted to fanning your face lightly with a stack of worksheets as she giggled.

“Oh my god…oh my god……Y/N finally has a crush!”

…

You pressed your lips together, the sweet taste of the secret drink Minhyun had created still lingered on your tongue. You remembered how he had came up to your booth and asked for your name, bashfully, ears tinging pink before retreating back to the safety of his bar and hastily scribbling your name on a plastic cup. Sujin had found it adorable, she teased you all night long and it was hard to tolerate but at least you got through majority of your papers. Last night felt like a good dream but the washed plastic cup that sat on your nightstand with your name on it kept you in check.

It was around closing time when Sujin decided enough was enough and packed up despite your protests, she dragged you out of there insisting you had worked hard enough. Minhyun was nowhere to be seen and you sighed in disappointment but acknowledged the fact that he too needed his rest.

Buzz. Buzz.

9.23 am

Sujin: guess what ;) You: what Sujin: sungwoon says minhyun’s single but looking ard ;) You: k so? Sujin: damnit girl take ur chance Sujin: i think you two wld make a good couple You: thanks but no thanks

10 am Sujin: want to go out today? movies? You: wish i cld :((( but i need to finish my work Sujin: aww okie :( gd luck bby

Truthfully, you were going to spend the day at the coffee shop your cute barista worked at, studying of course.

…

“Hey! Uh, uh… Y/N! Secret drink girl, hello,” Minhyun greeted cheerfully when he spotted you entering the shop. “So? Are you up for another off menu surprise?”

You giggled, blushing as you hung your tote bag on your chair. There weren’t many people today, good.

“Surprise me,” you said, winking and surprising yourself at your boldness.

Minhyun seemed… shocked yet undaunted, he appeared to like you posing challenges. “Okay, no problem. Miss Y/N.” He smirked, turning away to form a new creation.

You too, spun away to face your books. The constant whirring and mixing of different machines kept you from concentrating, the sounds only added to the excitement and anticipation. You heard the telltale steps on Minhyun and pretended to be deep in thought when he placed the mug on your table with great precision. Your gaze met his.

“Hey, I hope you like it. By the way….we have never met formally, so, hello. I’m Hwang Minhyun. I think I’ve seen you hanging out with Ha Sungwoon?” He bowed slightly out of respect which you returned.

“Yes! Sungwoon and Seongwoo are my friends so I suppose you have seen me before. Thank you, my name is Y/N,” you replied albeit it was a lame one, you were glad you hadn’t tripped over your words. Your eyes widened when Minhyun slid into the seat across from you.

“It’s off peak right now and I think I should give Baejin a bit of experience. Let’s talk, you seem like a nice person,” he suggested, looking hopeful. “Wait, try the drink first.”

You took a sip, leaving a minor lipstick mark on the side of the mason jar mug. It was very satisfying to your tastebuds, the drink fulfilled every craving you had ever had for sugar. “Mhmm. It’s so good! I love it! Did you come up with it yourself?”

Minhyun shrugged modestly. “I mean, I was just experimenting with some of my roommates and they insisted it was delicious but I only offer it to special people.”

“You have to teach me something! This is like a need now!”

“Maybe,” he told you, batting an eye. “We’ll have to see. How about you give me a call one of these days.” Minhyun slid a small folded up piece of paper across the table, grinned and left without another word.

Your jaw dropped, speechless. Everything he did only deepened your crush on him. The butterflies in your stomach and happiness coursing through your veins weren’t from the boost of caffeine.

Perhaps it was more than that.

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them ) 

hllo this is my second child i think theyre p grand n i love them a lot. as always pls like if u’d like to plot i’d lov to interact with everybody

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

mbti & temperament: esfp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: homosexual.

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances. 

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay! 

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years. 

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe. 

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost. 

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc. 

[ariescults-moved]

666

💖 mutuals send me a number and i’ll make a post talking about you 💖

oh my god the devil in person……… ugh, i hate you why.. OK SO TRIGGER WARNING THIS IS GONNA BE GROSS N SOFT PROBABLY AT SOME POINT OR AT EVERY POINT LOL bc one of us has to be soft in this relationship, you fuck. ok listen, bc you want your 3784279535k i will make it as long as possible and we both know that i could talk even more abt you but like hoe pls i still have to answer others and yours was like two sentences long. ANYWAYS, ummmmm so. /coughs/ WHY IS THIS SO AWKWARD LMAO BYE. ok, anyways (how many more times will i “start” this lol), i remember the first time we talked :) about jyp, great. but it was just this one time after i met you again here on tumblr like ….. 5 months later?? or sth? and you ATTACKED ME WITH YOUR FUCKING JYP PICS AND CAPS LOCK LIKE OMG (says the one who cant stop using caps now lol) and can i pls admit it now: I THOUGHT WE’D NEVER TALK AGAIN AFTER I COMPLIMENTED YOUR HP EDITS, like i thought it was just like a fling but look at us, now we are one :))))) 6ever or i will chop your head off :)!! i will make this read more bc i dont wanna bother innocent ppl.

anyways, after this we talked like every day and you made me laugh so much, im still losing my shit at “smdh”, “i hope i look that cute choking”, the 2903840295 times you said dick in every context there probably is like….. i cld say marshmallow and you’d say sth abt yoongi’s pickle and marshmallows is2g. also i sometimes, when i wanna laugh, im looking through my folder on my phone that is dedicated to your fricking ass, ihysm why are yoU LIKE THIS STOP GETTING ME ATTACHED TO YOU :( …. anyways. what makes me laugh too is how we call each other mommy,,, tHIS IS NOT EVEN FUNNY BUT IM STILL HERE LAUGHING LIKE HAHA YES MOMMY ok bye this is FUCKING EMBARRASSING bye. and like, i mean, i feel like we’ve made the stupidest memories, if you can even call it like this. or lets say, many things remind me of you now, like .. a fidget spinner or a baguette or nostrils or WHATEVER TBH BECAUSE YOU SAID DUMB SHIT ABT ALL OF THESE THINGS IN THE PAST AND THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG BUT i also wanna add that i enjoy the gossip mucho mucho muCHO and that im gonna come to singapore and craft your ass bc i know what mommy likes- OK THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND I WILL GO NOW I HOPE I DIDNT FORGET ANYTHING .. oh right maybe ily and i might enjoy soft hours with you and maybe i realized that you are like a part of my assdumbpoop life now after the three days you werent there ?????????????? also you are my fav mango freak … perhaps.. but at the same time: who are you, go away, gtfo my BLO G 

OH WAIT I FORGOT ONE THING, im glad that you are the v to my min and no one else even though you suck haha

^this might be me @ you sometimes.. ew.

both apply, ok so bye this is all ciao im out

[vampyjoong]

Its a bit nippy out

Ooooooo number two in the EXO series hell yeah

Soulmate!AU where their powers are their soulmate mark.

2.2k words unedited

you loved winter

not for many reasons but mainly for one

it was when your power was appreciated

not as much as it was in summer though

when it reached in surplus of 28.C, thats when you were at your peak

you never got too warm because of the fact you had the power of frost

oh its a bit too warm? have some fROST IN THE FACE

you could have snowball fights in the middle of summer

you first discovered this when yu were a child and you wanted to go outside and play in the snow but your parents didn’t want you to catch a cold

you stormed off to your room and cried because everyone else could go out why couldn’t you ah the drama of a 5 year old

the more you cried, the colder the room got until suddenly your tears were snow and the water in the air was turning to snow too

you started to giggle and you made a snowman appear and start moving

when you laughed and clapped your hands, the snow picked up and started to swirl around the room, and when you got scared and yelled a bit, the snowman disintegrated and joined the flurry

your parents heard your yell and ran upstairs only to find a snowstorm in the middle of their childs bedroom and said child hiding in the coset because they were scared

they asked you who this happened and you said you did it and your parents were kinda worried, and spent a good while looking things up in the library on ‘gifted’ children

they found an elementary school for gifted kids and sent you there so you could grow up learning how to control things

there were only about 50 kids in total in the school because not many kids had powers growing up unsurprisingly

you did make a friend there though

his name was Sehun, and he could control wind

to a small child that was so cool

to a teenaged me its still hella awesome

you two were the same age and therefore the same class

you were each others best friends, and you helped each other learn more about your powers

you two were the best of friends, and this continued through to high school

one of the classes in the school was learning how to fight, because normally power gifted people were recruited for the army

sometimes power gifted people would also become fighters in general, and people still needed basic training so you had to learn how to fight

you learned how to fight 1v1 and also in pairs

you always were paired with Sehun so you two were the ultimate fighting pair

you figured out how to combine both your powers, and how to use yours against him if you were against each other

you two would never bring anything out of sparring though

but then, halfway through high school, sehun had to move away

you didn’t know why but all you knew was that he was going to seoul and leaving you stuck by yourself

he said he’d try and keep in touch but the boy forgot to breath sometimes, how would he remember to email or text you

you went to his house every day for weeks after that until one day he was gone

there was a note on the door addressed to you 

“Dear Y/N, i know i look like the biggest dick ever writing this instead of telling you but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. You’d start to cry and then id cry and wed never get anything done cos were both crying too much. plus i didn’t want a blizzard in my room. I’m so so sorry that i had to move, and ill never forget my best friend. If you use the secret entrance then you’ll find some gifts in my room for you. stop reading now and only continue once you’re there please”

you went in through the so called secret entrance it was just the back door with the key under the mat like jeez

you walked into his room to find a box filled with your memories together

the more you looked through, the more you cried

jesus christ you didn’t know he kept all these

there were pictures from when you were young and all the trophies from when you were younger and decided to enter some competitions together

sure enough sehun was right

soon there was a blizzard raging in his room and you couldn’t stop it

it took you so long to calm down, and it was already dark when you left his house

it took you a while to realise that he wouldn’t be annoying you all the time and that he wouldn’t be there to laugh at you and with you

your best friend was gone but not forever bb don’t worry

but now sehun had a new friend

our dearest Minseok

our bb minseok always knew he had frost but never liked to show it off

as a slightly overweight child, the more he blended in, the better

it was only once he moved to a new high school and found out that there was a group of other people like him did he start to use his powers

he mainly used his with junmyeon who controlled water

he also started working out more to try and get rid of the baby fat he still had lingering 

so whenever he got the chance to work on his powers and himself he took it by the balls

cos our baozi is productive

he was the oldest of the lot and at first he kinda freaked but he got it under control

when sehun arrived and said he already knew someone with frost, minseok thought maybe it was his soulmate but knew better than to get his hopes up

then when the group found out about a college for gifted kids, it sounded perfect

they were so happy and couldn’t wait to go

so when they went in to show audition, it was nerve-wracking 

they showed their powers well, and were accepted into the college

the students in the college had the options of staying and doing many courses and many years if they wanted

handy for everyone who didn’t know what to do

minseok decided to get a job at a local coffee shop to get some extra money

until he was there for so long and the owner needed a break, and he became assistant manager

just meant he had more shifts lmao

he implemented the soulmate drink idea

and also was there to witness Junmyeon and I’m giving them names guys I’m sorry, it just makes my life easier Yuna meeting each other

he was so giddy and happy for them

you had been so nervous when you found out there was a gifted place

jesus how do you even manage to get up there

you went to audition one day and who should you find but Oh bloody Sehun sitting near the receptionist, looking as god damn nervous as you were

you yelled out his name and ran towards him

he looked up and once he realised it was you, ran towards you too

you were an emotional wreck

you cried for a minute before getting angry and hitting him

“ow, what was that for you dingus?”

“That was for leaving me without saying bye!!”

you enunciated every word with a good ol punch just to get your point across

he laughed at you before asking about your life for the past 3 years

as you two got caught up, you didn’t realise the queue was getting shorter and shorter until 

“Oh Sehun”

he apologised before going into the room

the wait was slightly terrifying, and the sounds coming out of the room gave you chills

to say you were nervous when the door opened again was an understatement

he came out looking windswept and like he’d been through hell

he sat next to you for the while it took for your turn to come up

he was telling you about his friends he was with, and how they were getting healed by one of their friends but he’d came out unscathed

a few of the group had to go the infirmary for a few harder to heal injuries

only three so it wasn’t too worrying

Chanyeol, Minseok and Kyungsoo were all a bit too injured

sheen swore he’d take you to meet all his friends soon

and then it was your turn

you were kinda nervous but sheen had been encouraging you the whole time

you went in and showed the judges different aspects of your powers and they seemed to be pleased with that

they also asked if you’d be interested in fighting people but you weren’t really the fight type

you were accepted and given a dorm room

the two girls you were rooming with were really nice

they both had the power of metal and were soul mates but weren’t clingy

thank god for that yu didn’t think you could handle rooming with a cringe couple

they were honestly a chill couple which you loved

you went out with them a lot to coffee shops and book stores

 one day they managed to convince you to go to a party

hell yeah free alcohol 

and so, after getting fashion advice from Jimin, you were offskies i hate myself

the party was being held in one of the ex students who’d made friends with basically everyone and still visited the teachers every now and then

wasn’t a huge teachers pet, everyone just naturally liked him

you’d heard about him before, his name was Hoseok and he had the power of mimicry he can mimic anyones voice and any powers as long as he’s holding someone

kinda terrifying but you did agree it was kinda cool

you arrived and the party was already full swing 

never been to a party lmao

you had to admit it was hella fun

you went into the kitchen in the extra af house and found the alcohol

oooo bb yes lets gOOooO

you had already had a few shots when your powers started to kick in

  you’d been drunk before so you knew it wasn’t because of that

so you were kinda confused

also didn’t want to accidentally hurt anyone so you walked outside

with every step though there was frost coming from your feet

and some people who bumped into you got a few snowflake marks on their skin which stayed for a few days lmao

when you finally stood outside the frost coming from your mouth was half cos of the cld and half cos of you

minseok had been feeling weird since he left the flat but brushed it off as Baek messing with him somehow

when he got to the party, the air got so much colder

a group of girls to the side noticed, one of which was british please let me do this guys pretty please

“Oh its a but nippy out aint it”

i hate myself too don’t worry

he tried to rein it in but was finding it increasingly hard to do so

he decided to get a drink and try to heat up a bit before resuming the party

trying to find chanyeol, he stumbled around a bit before deciding he must be outside

you’d been outside for a while before a tall guy with bright red hair came outside and noticed you shaking with the sudden cold coming over you

he offered to warm you up and was in the process of draping your tiny frame with his large ass one

basically he was cocooning you in a giant elf hug 

it was much welcomed

but suddenly your cold was taking over and even he was having trouble staying warm

after getting a bit of a cold burn where your hand was touching his back through his shirt he pulled away

“So so-sorry, di-di-didnt mean ittttttttt”

you were shivering so much it wasn’t fun

then minseok walked out and a snowball came flying your way

you managed to doge it but looked at who the hell threw a fuckin snowball at yo face cos damn that rude

and then you saw him

you were stunned for a quick minute before you threw a snowball right back at him

he was still stunned though and it hit him right in his face

“Ohhhh buuuuuurn”

both you and minseok turned to look at chanyeol with an exasperated look on your face

“Really fire guy?”

you and minseok took one look at each other before you threw hundreds of snowballs at the giant elf

suddenly the yard out back was covered in snow and everyone poured out to start a giant snowball fight

even hoseok who was getting hammered by his friends Hyungwon and Changyuk

until he grabbed changyuk and suddenly had the ability to change his body in any way

mega arms for days, 6 extra arms flung snowballs at everyone in the vicinity 

everyone was laughing and playing except for you two

you were both staring at each other again, and this time you were walking towards each other

then you had a face full of snow

suddenly everyone was playing, and the whole street had a freak snowstorm

and you and minseok were in the middle of it all, kissing like there was no tomorrow

it was like a scene from a christmas movie

in the middle of july