#n i can't get a job
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So Guillermo is the most tragic character in modern television? Got it
#man... the Ending of All Time#it was dogshit but so genuinely wwdits that i can't even be mad#wwdits spoilers#this man grew up as a queer kid in a latino household and found solace in vampirism to the point where he went and served one for 16 years#only to realize that not only was he biologically predesposed to kill them BUT ALSO was BAD at vampirism...#and leave it all behind to work a soul sucking office job where he repeted the same servitude patterns and was treated even worse#and then coming back to the household that disregards him only to re-learn the lesson he's learned his entire god dammned life#''IT IS VAMPIRE NATURE FOR THINGS N O T TO CHANGE''#and realize the person who he expected more of is never going to get better and just ACCEPTING THAT#HORRIBLE#HORRIBLE HORRIBLE#but so on brand#wwdits#my shit
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i hear amon pronounce the ou in your and i know that southern accent is fake
#we say YER#IT'S YERS!!!!! GET YER SHIT!!!#i'm being silly ofc i love amon and his va did a wonderful job. just know that i see through it#also 10000% we'd say his name like amen. amin. there's no o in amon. it's aymin.#a men#i cannot escape the bible#guys i'm obsessed with amon i can't stop i'm shaking#this is all said affectionately i am devoting myself to amon in every way shape n form#10/10 man in dating sim for me. and i love his brother (gael) and sister (ara) too#keep it in the family ❤️#do i subject normal tag browsers to this..#.........#lost in limbo
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#A CLASSIC ALWAYS#G L A S S E S#Andrew Lincoln#*#andygifs#lil bright white patches!!!!#there he is#the mayor of dilfshire#i'd vote for him again#c o z y#but also 👀👀👀#H A N D S#*shoving him in my pocket*#imagine a world where andy kept his glasses on often#....yeah i can't either sounds fake#i can't blame him tho im getting rid of mine now that my new job's insurance will cover contacts
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gonna crawl into a hole why does no-one want to go to my birthday
#haven't had a bday party for like a decade n yk its my 21st so i wanted to be an adult and try n enjoy my bday rather than#doing the usual ungrateful brat who can't stand people trying to celebrate the fact i exist bc i know they don't actually care that much#n just want to do something to feed their own belief that they're doing well by me#its like my neighbour paying me to walk her 2 cockerpoos twice a week n pretending that made up for how much she was neglecting them#like that was the only time they'd get walked n i dont like dogs so i was doing the bare minimum. stopped after a couple months bc i felt#like i was enabling her to mistreat them more#n my friend who does like dogs did a much better job#fuck#but yeah. its great seeing ur best friend hesitate and start making vague excuses as to why she doesn't want to hang out w u for ur birthday#ignoring the fact she refuses to voluntarily spend any time w me outside of uni work n society obligations#it kinda fucking sucks
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Courtney discussed quitting her job with Oscar since he clearly can't handle everything at home by himself and get his work done at the same time. He wasn't sure it was the greatest idea right now but she's convinced it's for the best and impulsively called her boss whilst making dinner. It's fiiiine, she'll be able to keep on top of the kids and the house, which leaves him to focus on getting better and eventually making some money again...
Oscar: I just don't th-... Courtney: Shut up and eat my shitty spaget-.. and you better get used to it too. Oscar: Okay...
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 gameplay#fib#fib extras#oscar#courtney#ᓚᘏᗢ#i'm actually so relieved that cookie decided to suddenly hate her job and wanna quit lmao#never mind Oscar.. -i- can't cope#😂#it'll be much easier to wrangle this household without her disappearing off to work every day#i need more hands for all these babies and all this mess if he's gonna get any money earnt!!#i actually reckon they'll earn more this way tbh#holy moly#x.x#oscar legit walked in the kitchen as cookie was on the phone n looked at her like that LOL#like i hope she knows what she's doing#😆😳
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giggling look what i found
talk show leon au…celebrity leon…thoughts please miss cressie :3
"what's one of your most memorable roles" "September 30th... 1998... It's a day I'll never forget. The cop inside me died that day"
jk I think celebrity Leon would be a celebrity against his will have you see that one guy called Lelush who was stuck on that one idol survival show like that's what I imagine Leon is like as a celebrity (against his will) I also think he'd get into arguments with "fans" who criticize his every move
#☾.vaaaaaiolet#☾.asks#i don't think u were expecting this answer vivi but I genuinely can't see leon as a celebrity celebrity bc he's not suave enough#he has no like. rizz. He's just hot like that's it u know that meme that's like loser stuck in a hot person's body like that's him to me#he's a real sweetheart but I don't think he'd like being famous#n if he does become famous I think he'd have a horrible time bc he'd get sexualized a lot#but actor leon... or like leon with any industry job... that i have worms over#can u imagine acting with him? I'd pass out
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if 2026 rolls around and i've not figured out a set course for dealing with my career woes (taking community college classes, making plans to continue education, switching jobs, literally ANYTHING...) please beat 🔨me 🔨with 🔨hammers........🔨🔨🔨
#i feel so stagnant and unhappy and trapped#by all rights i have a good enviable job#even if it doesn't pay fantastic#and i have a lot of free time that i am completely squandering#either i need to go whole hog into this career and do what i can to learn programming and higher intensity pipelines and time management#or i need to start changing my career like. now. and figure out 1) what to and 2) how to do it#i probably can even juggle it and my current job at the same time#which would be good#i also need to figure out if i want to stay here. move across the country. move to a different country. it kind of is important for that#i gotta travel to some of the places i'm interested in first to see if it's worth my time to lean into the process#bc i have essentially until 35-45 at the latest#it was a bit less overwhelming to approach when it seemed like i could have at least one person to fall back on in case things go wrong#but i don't wanna put pressure on anyone anyway i would rather live in a car if i have to bc i can't find a place for the night or w/e#i think loosely i wanna go on an international trip by end of '27 if like. things don't get crazy??? <:) that would be fun#and it'll be good to see how i fare#i'd like to see and experience more n make new friends. really put myself out there.#obviously i'm not wealthy so it's. tough. but. if i'm still with my same job i can probably take it with me now!!! yay!!#the being transgender and doing weekly shots definitely makes everything so needlessly complicated ugh#personal stuff
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severely tempted to use the money i saved for testosterone for a tattoo instead. going to sound strange but that would be more gender affirming than hrt right now.. many thoughts to think about this .
#txt#probably never gonna see the artist i got my 1st tattoo from ever again after i graduate. hence why i wanna prioritize the tattoo :>#plus i can't start testosterone until after i start my job and get paid anyways. that'll be two weeks after may 20#btw the tattoo is a cicada clinging to my leg in black n white. wanted this 2nd tat ever since i got my first one in may last year. ee#it has a ton of personal meaning to me and also in my mind tattoos help me feel a lot more masculine/like my body is my own in my control
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men will simply take back their old job as a favor to their boss and then immediately remember why they left their old job
#(face in hands) listen i love doing this but like#once again. they are pulling the whole 'oh i promise you won't have to do any prep we'll have everything ready for you'#and the 'everything ready for you' is a bunch of unsorted google docs and powerpoints with zero context#and i ask 'hey where's the activity guide and all the materials and also literally any of the context of what i'm supposed to be doing'#and they're like 'you'd have to ask other boss for that i don't have that' (which is understandable)#but then i ask other boss and they're like#'oh it's simple it's (just vaguely explains to me what the activity guide would be like but does not give it to me)'#and then i look in the materials box and it turns out other boss has cannibalized it for twelve other activities#which i must now dig through 40+ boxes to find#(face in hands) why am i doing this#because money and because they offered to pay me the same i'd make at the other job i was looking into#and because my old boss is halfway a friend and has been really stressed about all of this#because other boss just. left. despite them being like 'hey i can't handle all of our bookings alone'#d a m n b#i'll survive but oughhhhhhh i'm mad at myself for waltzing back into this (but at least i get money)#(thank fuck i get money . . . . . . . )
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OKAY CAN I JUST TALK ABOUT HOW NEVE AND HARDING ARE BOTH GRIEVING VARRIC AT THE START???? And the fact that we don't catch Neve in her emotions over it just reflects how she reacts to grief. I was remembering someone suggesting that one of the reasons why she tells Rook about Brom and the guilt that tears her up, and takes them to that vigil wall for the dead was because she thought she and Rook could both use it FOR Varric as well? She was trying to get them to open up about it and didn't push because she knows how to deal with people in grief and you can't MAKE them talk about these things (tragically we know how that turned out.)
NOT THE POINT.
It got me thinking about Neve and Varric as friends, years and years spent writing letters back and forth, that long journey that was spent chasing Solas (that yes touches in both comic books and the actual books themselves), and I got to thinking on the casual touch thing I just mentioned and yes this would have absolutely applied to him as well especially if being friends for years and years like you find out in the comics.
Varric and Neve, spending several nights on said journey just writing in their respective journals or letters, or she's writing for a case and he's writing for a book, with nothing but candlelight and drink shared between them both, and the occasional quip and smile exchanged.
Varric and Neve, writing letters and both having nicknames for one another. We learn he called her slick, but she never talks about what she called him because it's still hurts.
Neve, now picking up the full time habit of making nicknames for people as a way to honor Varric.
Varric and Neve, him bumping her shoulder with HIS hand when he lands a damn good joke or reference when he knows she will get it.
Neve, sitting in the same spot she sat on in the Missing, Volume 4, when both Harding and Varric are gone - sadly watching the door - aching for friends who are now gone. And lifting her big wooden mug as she takes a drink of it, resting her elbows on the table in the same way she did then and sighing. Trying not to cry as she for one second, imagines that any time, they will be walking in - alive and well, and calling after her so she can jokingly call/reference Varric - the Viscount of Kirkwall.
Neve, not talking about the metal box that holds the letters she's received from Varric (and soon the one made for Harding after). Tucked away, with the things she will not look at - not yet.
#[ introspection ] its not what keeps me up at night. its not the quiet. i never could sleep once work gets in my head.#[ I made myself tear up with the last one because what I adore about VEILGUARD is the fact that ]#[ PLATONIC GRIEF IS REAL. ]#[ ITS REAL AND IT HURTS SO MUCH AND NEVE FEELS IT GOD DOES SHE FEEL IT ]#[ I just need her to fuCK*n talk about it because it adds to why she's so.. ]#[ EXTRA - worse than shes ever been in terms of throwing herself at the job ]#[ because people keep dying around her- friends- family-loved ones and she can't.. make it.. STOP ]#[ and yes. she has a metal box filled with all of her letters from Harding AND Varric ]
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not to get too real but we're reaching that phase of the job hunt where i can feel myself becoming less human with every application
#rambles#where's that one clip from the office where he's just slamming the table n screaming#this is in part due to seasonal depression. though i am eating fucktons of fish to try and offset it#salmon my beloved....anyway.#like. survival wise i'll be fine. even if i'm free floating for a little bit i know i have the skill and the safety net to be ok#but like. ego wise. it may not go very well for me i fear#my mom's telling me to start thinkin abt grad school if i can't get a job right away like? ?? you think i have that money#or that motivation? ...mother.........#i guess. neutral case scenario. i work part time or freeload while grinding leetcode and stupid little projects. until smth clicks#grinding leetcode is miserable btw. like. idk how ppl do it. i know u have to make it a habit thing but its so soulcrushing
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I'm so tired of feeling stuck. Everything's felt hopeless lately
#2nd doctor in the span of a month to tell me there's nothing else they can offer to help me#and that's after months and months of back n forth with insurance to even get the follow up#i had to quit my job a year and a half ago#i thought 6 months at the longest#but instead of getting better I've only gotten worse#i don't know what to do i feel like i can't breathe#regular doctor fucked up my treatment last month too so I'm miserable from that on top of everything
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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Just landed a load of comms for the next while from family! Turns out just throwing some money and a nice photo at the black sheep's unemployed kid is easier than figuring out what to bring for bithdays<3 "its such a personal and unique gift" yea bc you fuckers are all tramatized by each other and don't know any more than the bare minimum of someone's job and their hobby for basic conversation<3 but we have plenty if nice photos for me to draw, just don't look to closely as the eyes<3
My fucking family aside, I'm so glad bc it means I can relax and rest for longer w/o worrying as much about money. And I don't have to cough up for gifts myself<3 also grandma showed my drawing for her off to her giant network of Quakers, so I'm not just drawing my family members that I hate at varying levels!
#thebirdspeaks#Means I don't have to stress as much about comms here for now#Okay I love my mum n my grandma and like one and a half cousins#But all the swanky job family members who just go “oh” when they find out I haven't used nonexistent connections to land a consultant job#Right out of uni#Like some of us didn't go to swanky places and aren't besties with a bunch of well connected rich ppl who can forward resumes#Fuck them#I'm more than happy to take their money!#Call my overcharging charity#Okay it's not by much#But freelance work should be more than minimum wage bc like you don't work full time or whatever#So<3#Gimme that fucking money#I'm going them a favor! now they can't spend it on getting pissed out of their head and yelling at their wife#Oops
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Brine King (ft Eadwulf) 👀👀👀
Check my list of current wips here and send me a title and I'll post a bit or share some details about it.
The Brine King au started as a 'what if Fjord released Uk'otoa' concept. While I adore the idea and have a LOT of it planned, I know I probably will never write it.
So I took up the critical role wildflowers event as an excuse to write the idea, while tailoring it to what my giftee wanted.
which worked out perfectly because they're a fellow fjord/jester/eadwulf fan and because this Brine King au was begging for a Scourger thread to weave it all together.
Here's a blumentrio reunion to celebrate (Caleb snuck into Eadwulf's bedroom, was surprised to, uh, interupt his old loves)
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Eadwulf stares at Bren, wide-eyed and face slack with shock. He’s in no state to compose himself, or take the lead. So Astrid will.
“What are you doing here?” she asks. Why did he come to Eadwulf, and not me? She wonders. And then scolds herself.
“We heard about the position you’ve been offered. Ambassador to the new Brine King ,” Bren says to Eadwulf. Bren always had a way with words, about coming around to a point. To let him speak is to be hypnotized by him, Astrid knows this.
Eadwulf makes no effort to cut him off. He hangs on every one of Bren’s words.
She glances out the window. It’s far from dawn, but not that far. The sky is beginning to light. There isn’t much time.
“You said you have information?” she interrupts. Focus, she reminds himself.
“I do,” Bren agrees, and he only glances at her before focusing on Eadwulf.
He’s here to manipulate Eadwulf, she’s sure of it. But to what end?
“Wulf,” Bren says slowly. Eadwulf shivers. Astrid flashes handsigns. Danger. Danger. But Eadwulf doesn’t look once in her direction.
“I want to make a deal,” Bren says.
Eadwulf stays silent.
“We knew the man, before he was Uk’otoa’s Champion. We have information on his behaviour, his person, and how to beat him. We were in Nicodranas, before…”
“Why didn’t you go to the King? Why come to us?” Astrid presses, “this information could make you rich.”
Bren flinches like he’d forgotten she was there. She’s more certain than ever that he had thought Eadwulf would be alone. Good thing she decided to stay. Eadwulf would be eating out of his hand if she wasn’t here.
Why is Bren treating them like the enemy? She wants to ask. She wants to hold him, and kiss him again. If only he wanted that to. But he left them, she has to remind herself. He abandoned them. He doesn’t want them.
She digs her nails into the skin of her arms, and keeps her face neutral.
Eadwulf needs her to speak for him, to protect him.
“Because I have no love for the King,” Bren says, and leaves it there. Eadwulf shivers again. Astrid’s breath catches in her throat. Bren can’t be saying— not after all this time?
This must be a dream.
As if he can read her mind, Bren steps towards Eadwulf. He holds his hand out. Eadwulf steps towards him.
Astrid takes a half-step forwards, before she realizes what she’s doing. It’s too late, and Eadwulf has fallen into Bren’s orbit. His hand settles on Eadwulf’s shoulder. She sees Eadwulf shudder. His knees tremble.
“I know you will have orders, and I know you are going into danger,” Bren says softly. Eadwulf has to lean closer to hear him.
Astrid pushes into their space. She’s losing Eadwulf.
She wants Bren’s soft voice for herself.
“I will tell you every piece of information I can think of. Every scrap of every moment I spent traveling with Fjord. But I need you to make a deal with me, old friend.”
“What?” Eadwulf asks.
Stupid, Astrid wants to say. He shouldn’t speak. You should always let the target make the offer first. He knows this. Astrid doesn’t think she could hold her tongue if Bren was this focused on her.
She can’t think when Bren looks up at them through his lashes. When he lays a hand on her arm as well. His touch is like a wildfire, sending gooseflesh down her arm. She wants to touch him in turn.
“There is a woman, with Fjord. He took her from us. She is a prisoner… if she’s still alive. I need you to help her, in any way you can.”
Astrid’s mouth falls open. No noise comes out. No, no, no! Eadwulf will die for their Master. But he will do anything for Bren. This will get him killed.
Bren knows about Eadwulf’s tender heart. It’s why she and he worked so hard to protect it, during their training.
He must know what he is doing. And he doesn’t care?
“Your woman?” Eadwulf blurts out. He sounds jealous.
Bren takes that information carefully. He doesn’t deny it immediately.
“She’s precious,” Bren agrees. Neither a confirmation, nor a denial, Astrid notes.
“Why me?”
“Because we cannot get into the fortress,” Bren growls. His grip on both of them tightens. Astrid’s head spins.
“Don’t do this,” she whispers. To which of them, she cannot say. There is a second collar on Eadwulf now, that Bren is placing himself. And it looks more like a noose.
#i say its a fjord released ukotoa au and then i post the blumentrio lmao#sorry to tease#eadwulfs job is to get close enough to fjord to feed info back to the empire#and he does such a good job of that#that fjord assigns eadwulf to help him keep jester out of trouble#from the factions (avantika and sabian) at play within the Evil Uk'otoa Forces#jester being a political prisoner#(political in that she's important to fjord and fjord can't let her get hurt. and hurting her will hurt fjord)#eadwulf baby ur just so loyal dog coded you end up in this position again and again#and then yeah lmao theres ~tension~#and eadwulf gets some conflicting loyalties#meanwhile Astrid and Caleb (and the rest of the Nein) have to work together#to figure out a way to kill Uk'otoa and being their people home#wip#blumentrio#but ye here we go w this one look at calebs scourger training coming in handy#i wrote up to fjord n eadwulf meeting if you want that#and a little of how/why jester came to be a prisoner#ty for the ask!
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I'm not going to be tone policed on how I talk about any subject whether it personally affects any of you or not. I am certainly not going to be persuaded to speak more kindly to my oppressors and/or direct political opponents because they are personally affected by the issue I'm talking about.
Some of y'all are letting the female socialization that demands we be kind and considerate at the expense of ourselves (& our social movements) push you right into sugar coating important topics and out of being an effective communicator.
#cutting off any healthy tissue for an aesthetic or mental anguish is mutilation#I'm sorry if that hurts some of y'all's feelings but it's the truth of the matter#whether or not if they are kinder ways to say this is irrelevant#I'm not going to sit here and tell y'all how to talk about any subject so that you don't upset anyone#& I would personally like to stop seeing 50 different variations of the same post telling me what the appropriate way of discussing this is#I'm here to liberate women not coddle you or should you from the criticisms of your actions#we are sisters in arms in a sociopolitical fight not friends.#lily responds#like I was going to keep my mouth shut when you were just discussing that you would like for people not to say this because you are radfems#& want to feel welcomed & comfortable n the spaces you have a fool right to be in regardless if I think it's our job to ensure that comfort#but telling me I can't describe mutilation as it is bc it's hurting the trans ppl who are actively destroying my rights on mult axises?#fuck no lol. I'm not putting in effort work to spare their feelings.#especially when it seems like the most direct blunt way of describing things it's the only way to get through to them#y'all are out of your damn minds lol#ok im done#rant
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