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cheneyq · 2 years ago

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Walk Away - Billy Hargrove × Plus size reader

Guys this could have a part two if you wanted it.

Short description - Reader has been dating Billy and he asks her to keep it a secret, his friends embarrass her at a party and they end up breaking up.

Pairing – Billy Hargrove x Plus Size Fem reader

Warnings – Swearing, Angst (or at least I tried), bullying, fatshaming, name calling – it’s just a mess.

Au Note – This is the first time in a while posting something on here, feedback would be great.

I do requests – My requests are open for all characters on Stranger Things and some Marvel characters.

Word count – uh, no idea to be honest?

Please enjoy and sorry if this is shite, literally wrote it in an hour and decided to post it, have been feeling all down in the dumps. Again, sorry if its terrible.

“(y/n), are you sure we were invited?” Sandy, my best friend asks. “And not just invited so they can make fun of us?” She added, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. I took a deep breath, looking at the house across the street to where Billy invited me, my Billy, my secret boyfriend for the past few months, Billy. ‘King of the school’, Billy.

“Billy gave me this address and a time-" Sandy cut me off, scoffing. “That asshole has been nothing but terrible to you since you started being lab partners.” Did I mention that she doesn’t know we’re dating? “And then he leaves this piece of paper in your locker, why? Because he wants to hang out? I think not, it’s a bad idea, I think we should go.”

Her words get to me, and not being able to tell her we’ve been dating for weeks now is a big deal, but I dont think he would invite me and then do something bad, would he?

“Okay, how about you wait in the car and I’ll go in quickly and be back out in like twenty minutes?” I try to negotiate with her, she’s thinking about it. “fine, but if you’re not out in twenty minutes or less I’m coming to get you.” I nod, watching as she walks back to the car. “Twenty minutes.” She yells after me.

I try to smile, to be amused by her but my nerves are getting to me. I adjust my sweater and pull it tight around my stomach, a terrible habit I needed to get rid of. “You can do this.” I try to give myself a pep talk but I’m failing, still, I manage to move my feet and before I know it I’m inside, pushing through people to get to the middle of the house, searching for those blonde locks.

I see him in the kitchen, talking to Meghan, a super skinny cheerleader in my maths class. She’s sitting on the counter in the kitchen with her legs wrapped around Billy's waist. I feel the jealousy burn through my body, followed along with a terrible hurt feeling.

Before I could process the fact that he’s leaning into her, talking directly in her ear with his hand landing on her hip, a pair of hands clamp around my shoulders.

“I fucking knew it!” Tommy H yells over my shoulder, pushing me towards the kitchen. “Carol, you owe me ten bucks.” I see Carol turn and we make eye contact while Tommy is still pushing me forward. Billy turns his attention away from Meghan and as soon as he sees me he steps away from her, sporting a very confused look on his face. A few of their other friends join us in the kitchen when Tommy shoves me a bit hard and I need to catch myself on the counter.

I feel unshed tears burning my eyes as I take in what’s happening. “See, I told you this fat loser is like, in love with Billy.” Carol says, turning to Meghan who scrunched up her nose while looking at me. “Disgusting.” She spits and everyone starts laughing, and to my surprise, so does Billy, but it somehow doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I should go.” I mumble, trying to turn to leave. “Already? But you just got here.” Tommy says, slinging his arm over my shoulder, hand grabbing so hard he’s probably going to leave a bruise. I try to pull away, “Come on man, you’re hurting her.” Another friend says who I recognize as Adam, a nicer one of the people surrounding me.

I see Billy’s eyes flash to my shoulder and then at Tommy’s face, he looks like he wants to say something, “Yeah man, just let her go, she’s not worth our time.” He mumbles, turning to get another drink.

“No, Tommy is right, she just got here. Please, have a drink.” Meghan says, stepping forward and throwing her drink in my face. I gasp, stepping back and trying to clear my eyes. I feel her hands on my shoulders and then she pushes me, I fall back, landing straight on my back and hitting my head.

“Enough!” Billy’s voice booms through the kitchen. I open my eyes, staring up at the ceiling, seeing stars. My head hurts and I try to focus when hands grab at my shoulders to try to help me sit up. “We’re just joking around.” Meghan says, stunned by his outburst. I see Billy look down at me, sitting up on the floor staring at him, waiting for him to stand up for me, to help me up and hopefully take me home. But all he does is smile, “Yeah, but we wouldn’t want to kill her or injure her badly, her uncle is the sherriff, remember?”

Whispers break out and I let the tears go, streaming down my face as I stare at someone I thought I could love, someone I thought I understood, someone I was willing to be kept a secret for because I believed his stupid excuse of not wanting a girlfriend right now because of the terrible stuff that’s happening with his dad.

“What the fuck are you staring at? Get up and get the fuck out, I’m sick of seeing your face.” His eyes are pleading with me, begging me to take the chance and run. I sob at his terrible words, I can’t help it. A hand reaches out for me to help me stand and I look up into the eyes of Steve, Harrington, the former ‘king of the school’ with Nancy by his side.

“Let me help you up.” His voice is soft and people are watching, waiting for my response. I look up at Billy again and I think I’m going to hate the color of his eyes for the rest of my life. He’s waiting for me as well, waiting to see what I’m going to do.

I reach out and take Steve’s hand, cringing when I pull my shirt away from my chest. “Is your head okay?” Nancy asks, stepping closer. I flinch at her hand reaching for my head, “I’m fine.” I croak out and turn to leave, walking out the front door.

“You guys are a bunch of fucking assholes!” Steve yells at his friends, Billy turns and takes the two shots of clear vodka he poured into the shot glasses for Meghan and himself before he slips out the back door while his ‘friends' are fighting inside.

He feels his heart hammering inside his chest while he runs around the house, seeing your figure walking away from the house he actually feels his heart break at the way you looked at him, the sob that left your mouth, the sound your head made when it made contact with the floor beneath you.

He knows he’s a dick, a terrible person if you must, keeping you hidden away, all to himself. But he swears he’s only doing it to protect you, there’s only a few months of high school left and then he can take you away from here, to a new state, a new city. Take you away from the horrible people here, people he somehow became friends with.

He’s protecting you.

“(y/n), wait, shit, baby are you okay?” Billy stops me, standing in front of me, but I can’t get myself to look into his eyes, maybe if I walked faster I could’ve made it to the car without him getting to me first, but I didn’t expect him to come to me in the first place.

He reaches for me, hand lifting my head up to look at him. His worried expression amuses me. I slowly reach up and take his wrist, pulling him away from me.

“You should go, your friends are waiting.” I don’t have it in me, not one mean bone, not any feeling that I need to hurt him back.

His frown is deep, “Baby, what the hell are you doing here?” he’s bending forward so he can look me in the eyes. My head hurts, I’m soaking wet and all I want to do is leave.

“You asked me to be here.” He’s shaking his head, “When? I never asked you to come here.” I can’t get the picture of Meghans legs wrapped around him out of my head. “Are you fucking her?” I blurt out, stepping away from him. “Who?” he asks, trying to reach for me again, but my delayed anger is kicking in.

I feel my cheeks blush as I think back to everything that happened. “Meghan, are you fucking her?” he doesn’t answer straight away and I feel another sob break through me.

“You know what, you ruined my fucking life here! Yeah, I’ve always been fat and a loser but at least everyone left me the fuck alone, until you came around, until you started showing interest in me! I never wanted to be with you, you’re a fucking asshole and you made me fall in love with you, now I have all these feelings towards you that I don’t want to feel because I literally never want to see you again.” I’m out of breath by the end of it.

His eyes are glistening while he stares down at me, my chest is heaving and my clothes still sticking to me.

“You love me?” he’s frowning.

“Yes, unfortunately I fucking love you, you made me care for you and then you treat me like shit in front of your friends, watch them abuse me me and torture me and make fun of me while doing nothing!” I’m yelling at him. Then a car door slams and I hear feet running up to us.

“(Y/n), oh my god what happened?” Sandy’s voice is loud and I jump at the sudden intrusion. “What the fuck did you do to her?” she’s yelling at Billy now. “It wasn’t him, it was his fucked up friends.”

“He just stood there and watched.” I mumble, looking at him as his face falls and something stirs in my chest seeing him turn emotional.

I take my car keys from Sandy and turn to leave,

“I won’t ever be good enough.” He says and I stop, causing Sandy to stop next to me, silencing her ramblings I didn’t ever hear. “You’re too good for me, I’ve said this over and over. I keep this private and I keep this between us because I don’t want people ruining that, like they did tonight.”

I turn and walk up to him, “They didn’t ruin this, you did.” I say, poking his chest.

“I love you too.”

His eyes are so sincere that I get lost in them for a moment, not missing the exaggerated gasp leaving my friends mouth after his confession. I shake my head, “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to treat me like shit, turn around, say you love me and expect things to be okay.”

“You don’t get to hurt me anymore.”

“No!” his voice is loud, “you don’t get to tell me you love me and then walk away from me, from us. You don’t get to let me think I have a person who cares and then walk away from me, I need you.” He’s begging me now.

“I do get to love you, and I also do get to walk away from something that’s hurting me.” I let him take my hand, “You’re hurting me, Billy. You’re keeping me a secret because you’re ashamed of me, that’s not fair because I would never in my life do that to you, or another person.” I reach for his face, “I would never want you to feel the way I did in there because I love you, but I don’t ever want to feel that again so I think it’s my turn to walk away, pretend nothing happened and walk away.”

I move to leave but he pulls me back, “How can you say that!? How can you walk away from someone you love.” He’s pushing my hair behind my ear, searching my face for an answer.

“How can I not walk away? Because if you loved me you wouldn’t be ashamed to tell people that you’re with me, you wouldn’t let them treat me like that, you wouldn’t sleep with other people. It’s time I take care of myself.” I pull my hand out of his.

“I’ll go in there right now and tell everyone that you’re my girl, that I love you and I want to marry you someday.” He’s begging again, and I can’t help the way my breath hitches when he mentions he wants to marry me, at the way he calls me his girl.

I step forward and kiss his cheek one last time, I don’t know if it’s my tears or his I taste on my lips.

“Its too late for that. Goodbye Billy.”

He’s grabbing my hands and trying to pull me back but I get my hand free, “(y/n) wait! Please, please don’t leave me, (y/n) I’m sorry! I’m a fucking idiot and a coward and I’m so fucking sorry! (Y/n) I love you please, please don’t do this.”

I’m ignoring him as I close my door and lock it, starting the car, he’s banging on the window as I pull away, surprised and relieved that I didn’t run him over in the process.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk right now, but .... what the fuck just happened! Why are you wet! What is going on!” Sandy yells.

“I just broke up with my boyfriend.”

“What!”

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bubblybubbubs · 4 years ago

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Stuck With Me (3)

Summary - Draco’s POV on losing his soulmate

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Word Count - 3.5k

AN- I am so sorry this took so long, I hope you all enjoy it!

Part 1 2

taglist - @lonely-kermit @lifeasdreamgirl @mera-shifts @abbyloubaton @clumsilyclueless @confusedscreaminggremlin @seanh-boredom @weasleysmalfoyxstyles @thefandomplace @mayempress @shadyrose66622 @jay-jay-love @ktvia @lovebynorth @sweet-creature98 @remmyswritings @chaoticgirl04

Sometimes Draco thought about how different his life would be had he not left you, had you not gotten hurt and lost your fucking memory.

It was truly ridiculous, the universe was actively conspiring against him, he was sure of it.

His current living situation just proved that further to him. “Wake the fuck up.” Blaise said slowly pouring water on his face even though Blaise himself was evidently groggy. “I will kill you.”

“Looking forward to it.”

Draco was unsure as to why Blaise had chosen to live in a crappy apartment when his family Manor was free. He missed his silk sheets and expensive pillows. Yet sadly the ministry had decided they wanted to take that leaving Draco on Blaise’s smelly consignment store couch. Had he gotten completely cut off by his family? Perhaps, it would make the disgustingly plain beans and toasts they ate daily make a lot more sense. He’d hate to think that Blaise fed them this by choice.

“Guess who wrote.” Blaise said, wiggling a letter in Draco’s face.

“Loud ginger?”

“Loud ginger.” He confirmed dropping it in on Draco’s face. “You should answer her before we get a howler, then we’ll really see how loud the ginger can get.” Draco looked at the letter, Ginny’s name was scrawled on the envelope and the aggressiveness of the signature made him heavily considering not opening it but the possibility of getting a howler from her convinced him otherwise.

Draco,

You are the worst and I hate you. I’m not sure if you care anymore given that you have refused to make contact with her but y/n is doing fine. I mean sure she’s been asking about her soulmate and lying to her is slowly killing me, but I’m glad you and Blaise are having fun in your bachelor pad and that you have successfully cleared your amnesiac soulmate out of your head.

Looking forward to hearing your pathetic excuses,

Ginny Weasley.

It was way too fucking early for this.

Things were strange.

You had gotten most of your memories back but everything was very different than what you remembered, everyone was different after the war.

The Weasleys, oh the poor Weasleys, they were like your family but the life has been sucked out of them without Fred. They had all tried to hide it from you, they believed you were already going through enough and you didn’t need their problems too. Ginny especially, she hadn’t left your side since you woke up. You kind of felt bad for Harry because whenever he wanted to spend some one on one time with Ginny she always insisted you tagged along.

For example whatever the fuck this current situation was.

“I’m really sorry Harry.” You whispered to him. “I told her I’d be fine alone.”

At first it had sort of made sense how careful everyone had been around you, but at this point it was exhausting. You would walk into a room and it would just go silent. You lost your memory, not your basic communication skills.

“It’s fine, I understand Ginny can be quite persistent.”

“What about me.” Ginny said hooking her arms with the both of you.

“Just that I don’t think I should be going on your dates anymore, it’s kind-“

“Ginny.” Harry said interrupting you pointing towards a boy down the street. He was blonde and lanky, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

You had seen Ginny mad, in fact it was one of the first things to come back to you. Her calm fury was something that hadn’t remained constant since she was young and right now you saw it on her face as she stared daggers into the boy.

She scoffed. “I’ll be back.”

“This might take a while.” Harry said quietly, shaking his head. “Come on we can meet Ginny there.” You stole a glance across the street as Harry dragged you away. Ginny was yelling at the boy but he didn’t seem to care because he wasn’t looking at her he was looking at you. You felt your face heat up and you looked away from him following Harry. “Who was that, should I know him?”

Harry paused for a minute.

He had that face that people had whenever they were walking on eggshells around you.“He went to school with us but I don’t think you two were ever friends.” The way he didn’t look you in the eyes screamed to you that he was lying.Harry was always a horrible bloody liar.

It was really hard for Draco to process what Ginny was saying. Her anger had gone right to her face and Draco had been silently betting with himself as to how long it would take for her face to turn the same color as her hair. “Your face is really red.” Draco said, struggling to hold back his laughter. “Are you drunk.” Ginny said stoically.

Was he? It was likely, he honestly couldn't remember the morning or yesterday. The days were sort of blending together.

“Malfoy.” Ginny said. Usually when people used his name they were yelling at him or were angry at him. But Ginny said it with pity which somehow felt worse.

“I don’t get why you're doing this to yourself.” She said. “You’re miserable.” He deserved to be miserable.

“It’s for the best.”

“How’s that.”

Draco had no interest in divulging his feelings to weaslette of all people, but it seemed his judgement was slightly impaired by the alcohol he may or may not had been drinking. “I’m going to fucking Azakban Ginevra,I just dont see the point in telling her I’m her soulmate and possibly facing rejection just for me to be thrown in Azkaban for the rest of my life.” Draco huffed. “Even if she somehow forgave me, I doubt the dementors will be allowing conjugal visits.”

“There are no more dementors at Azkaban, Kingsley got rid of them.”

Now normally Draco was against hitting girls but he was considering it heavily. “Thank you Weasley. I feel way better, I’m sure Azkaban is a paradise now. Remind me to send Kingsley a thank you letter.”

“Draco.” Ginny said.

Gross, hearing Ginny say his first name with pity felt even worse.

“You’re not going to Azkaban, Harry agreed to speak at your trial.”

“Oh great he’ll testify to the one time I helped him, I’m sure it’ll cancel everything else out.” He said. “I’m not a good person Weasley, that’s why I know I’m going to Azkaban, because I deserve it.”

“Is that why you’re staying away from y/n?” Ginny said even angrier than before. “Is this some sort of self punishment.”

Draco stayed quiet.

“Merlin, Draco go to fucking therapy.” Ginny huffed. “You’re not the only one that’ll suffer because of your self pity. She needs her fucking soulmate back, as much as I hate you for everything you’ve put her through I can’t argue with the fucking universe and neither can you.”

“Exactly.”

“What?”

“I shouldn’t have fucking gotten involved with her in the first place, it’s only put her in danger.” He took a deep shaky breath. “And her losing her memory was the universe’s way of telling me to stay away.”

He had known for a long time that she was too good for him

It was dark and he was tired, turns out making potter stinks badges and teaching all of Slytherin clever chants was demanding. Draco wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings as he walked back to his dorm until of course he heard quiet sobs. He was a firm believer that crying in public was pathetic, especially in a hallway where anyone could stumble across you. And he might’ve told them that had it not been you. He had been thinking about you, not that he would ever tell anyone that ever. But how could he not, you were his soulmate and that had to mean something.

He barely had time to think as his feet moved on their own bringing him in front of you.

“Why are you crying.”

Merlin, could he have been any less compassionate.

“Why do you care Malfoy.” You said.

He hated the way you looked pretty even if your eyes were all puffy and your face was all red.

“I don’t.”

He did. He even started to walk away for dramatic effect of course.

“I’m scared.” It felt weird to hear sincere words from you that weren't you yelling at him, and he hated the fact that he didn't hate it. “Harry has his first task tomorrow he could get hurt or worse.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that. Don’t tell him I told you this but he has to be some sort of invincible to defeat Voldemort at the age of 1. Don't you think?”He could hardly believe the words he was saying.

“I suppose you’re right.” You finished off.

Draco sat tensely, he wasn't exactly sure what to do. He couldn't hug you could he? No that would be seriously overstepping. You would probably punch him in the face, again. After all you had been the one who wanted to forget about the whole soulmate thing and of course you were a halfblood and a gryffindor on top of that. It would never work.

For once he hated being right.

You were actively weighing how likely it was for Ginny to kill you if you woke her up.

Very, is what you eventually came up with. Maybe you could play the amnesia card.

“What do you want y/n.” Ginny grogged from under her. “I’ve been listening to you shifting around for the last hour.”

You had been staying at the Weasley’s and you had absolutely refused to take Fred’s bed so that had resulted in a cramped hammock floating in Ginny’s room.

You turned around to face her with a sorry look on your face.

“Did I know that boy, the one you were yelling at.” You said. “I just feel like I knew him.”

Ginny was quiet the same way Harry was. “No.” She said turning away from you. “No you didn’t.”

“Ginny-”

“Y/n please don’t.” Ginny said, cutting you off. “It’s not for me to tell, if it was believe me you’d already know.”

“I want to go.”

“Go where.”

“To Hogwarts.”

It was embarrassing. Everyone had gone already; they had been able to at least attempt to cope with the trauma they had endured. And you who couldn't even remember the bloody war couldn't work up the nerves to go.

Ginny stared at you for a bit before muttering. “Hermione and Ron are going soon, they’ll likely let you join them.” You were about to make an argument about going on your own before Ginny turned back around nonverbally telling you that the conversation was over.

You still couldn’t sleep and not from lack of trying. Your mind was whirring, ever since you had seen Ginny yell at the boy your lack of memory seemed to be feeling different. And your fear was beginning to settle in, your doctor said that some memories may never come back and that thought made you sick to your stomach. You didn’t feel all that different, Ginny said you were the same whenever you asked. But she could be lying (since she seemed to be in the habit of doing so these days) and you would never know because you had amnesia.

Draco was regretting not taking his plea deal. He would much rather be sleeping in Azkaban than waking up on Blaise’s concerningly uncomfortable couch to an angry looking ginger towering over him. No one seemed to value his rest and it was getting ridiculous. He pressed his eyes closed and pull his blanket further over his face in hopes that maybe Ginevra would disappear. Sadly that was not the case and Ginny ripped the blanket off of him leaving Draco quite cold.

Ginny stared down at him as she stood impatiently at the foot of the couch.

“Blaise someone broke into your flat.”

“I noticed mate.” Blaise said who looked just as exhausted hunched over his coffee.

“We need to talk.”

“We talked remember, or were you drunk too?”

Ginny did not look amused and Draco almost felt bad for being so difficult but then he remembered he didn't care.

“Y/n’s going to Hogwarts with Ron and Hermione. She’s likely going to get her memories back.” Ginny said. “Thought you should know.”

Draco sat up. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Ginny said taking a deep breath. “You need to be there.”

“How so?”

“She’s going to remember all the shitty things you’ve done to her and are yet to apologize for and you’re going to lose your soulmate for good.”

“I don't see how me being there will change that.”

Ginny didn't answer him rather she walked towards his chimney. “You know what, screw you. I truly do not care if you go, I just thought you should have the choice that's all.”

Ginny didn't look at Draco, rather giving Blaise a short nod before using the floo to go back to the Burrow.

Draco let himself fall back down to the couch as he listened to Blaises loudly chow down his cereal.

“So are you going to go?” Blaise said his mouth still full.

He felt bad for Blaise’s mum all that money on etiquette lessons for what?

“No.” Draco said, burying his head in his pillow.

“You’re a tosser.”

“I can live with that.”

He could and he has. If he had a sickle for everytime he was called some variation of ‘tosser’ he certainly would not be sleeping on Blaise’s couch.

“I’m calling Pansy.” Blaise didn’t scare him, not in the slightest. But Pansy was another story, Pansy scared everyone, especially the people that loved her which sadly included Draco. “I will kill you.”

“You’re just saying that cause you know she’ll knock some sense into you.”

“I have a lot of sense.” Draco groaned. “In fact I have too much sense.”

Blaise ignored Draco’s exaggerated groans as he called Pansy.The call was short or maybe it was long, all Draco knew was that Pansy was standing over him with that look on her face.

“I’m not going, and you’re not changing my mind Pansy.”

“Blaise leave.” Pansy ordered.

Blaise looked insulted. “This is my house.”

“You call this a house?”

Blaise huffed mumbling under his breath curses at Pansy.

“That was rude.”

“So you're going to lecture me on rudeness now, that's rich coming from you.”

“I dont care.”

“You look and smell like shit, I can tell you ‘don’t care’.” Pansy said.

Never in her life had Pansy been one to sugar coat things and apparently she had no intention of starting to do so. Draco was going to argue it was the couch but he realized he couldn't remember the last time he showered so he kept his mouth shut. Draco a year ago would’ve drowned himself in the black lake had he known he’d come to be like this.

“Fuck off.”

“I’m pulling the card.”

“Pansy no that’s not fair.” Draco said sitting up.

“Fair?”

Poor choice of words.

“Draco, do I have to remind you my soulmate is dead, I stopped feeling tugs and being able to talk to my soulmate when i was 13. Your soulmate is alive by some fucking miracle, and frankly you’re being a selfish prick.”

“Oh.” He always hated when Pansy talked about it. Not because he didn't care but according to Pansy because he cared too much and the last time he had shown any sign of pity towards Pansy it had not gone well for him.

“What lies do you have Ginevra feeding her, does she think she has no soulmate, does she think her soulmate is dead?”

“She doesn’t think she has a soulmate.” Draco said in a low voice, he wasn't proud of what he was doing but he also knew he had no choice. “She was in her coma during the tug. I figured by the time the next one rolls around I have something figured out.”

“And what about you.” She asked. “She may not remember you but you’ll remember her, you'll never forget that you have a soulmate out there that you refuse to see.”

“I won't let myself ruin her.”

“She’s a grown woman, I find it demeaning that you don't see her capable of making her own damn choices.”

“What?”

“You think she'll hate you, you think she’ll be ruined, you think she’s better off. What about what she thinks? You think she'd be okay with you slowly killing yourself?”

“You're a bitch Pansy.”

“So I’ve been told.” She looked towards the clock.

“Come on lets get you something to eat.”

She reached her hand out for Draco to grab.

“I can walk to the kitchen without holding your hand thank you very much.”

Pansy rolled her eyes and grabbed onto Draco’s arm.

“What are you-”

Draco’s sentence was cut off by Pansy apparating them both out of the loft.

Draco had gone to his fair share of therapy, did it ever work? no, Draco would rather die before talking about his feelings with a stranger but he had been taught his fair share of anger exercises . And Merlin did they come in handy, truly it was the only thing keeping him from throttling Pansy as she stood there with a smug face looking at the rubble that once was Hogwarts.

“Pansy.” Draco said slowly.

“Shut up, look she’s right there.”

“I’m not ready Pansy.” Draco said wiping his palms on his pants out of stress. “I wanted to bring her flowers.”

“flowers?”

“Forget me nots.” He said with a sardonic dry chuckle. “It was our unofficial flower, ironic isn’t it.”

“The fact that you have an unofficial flower makes me want to throw up.”

“I need flowers.” He said. Pansy groaned before searching the grass. She picked up a dandelion swirling her wand transfiguring it into a bouquet of forget me nots.

“Here, go.” He was about to give another excuse but Pansy apperated away. The one time he needed her she leaves.

He wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to approach her without seeming like a stalker.

His thoughts were disrupted by Hermione and Ron walking up to him. He wanted to turn around so bad but he had no doubt that if he did so Hermione and Ron wouldn’t hesitate to curse him.

“Granger, Weasley.” He said sticking his hands as deep as his pockets would allow him.

“I didn’t think you were going to come.” Hermione said.

Draco shrugged.

“Just go talk to her.” Ron said.

“Thats why Im here.”

Ron mumbled something under his breath but Draco didn’t feel like fighting Weasley.

Draco had never felt such anxiety because of another person. He had always been confident and walked around like he owned the world, but now he felt scared.He watched you as you traced your hands across the bricks of Hogwarts, his steps faltering as he came closer to you.

“Hi Y/n.” He called out.

You turned to look at him. Draco’s heart felt heavy at the way you looked at him, not any recognition in your eyes. You had once looked at him with such love, then such hate but now you looked at him with nothing. because right now that’s what he was to you, and it broke his heart.

“You.” You said stepping closer. “You were the one talking to Ginny.”

“I wouldn’t really call it talking, she yelled I stood there.”

“Ginny does that a lot.” You shrugged.

“Yeah.” He said.

You spotted the flowers in his hands.

“I’m sorry, who did you lose?”

His hands tightened on the flowers.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” You said. “I lost my friend Fred, and my memory. But I don't feel like I lost it since I can't remember ever having it. But I miss Fred.”

He studied every centimeter of your face noting the subtle changes he didn’t notice the last time he saw you as you rambled on about Fred anxiously.

“You.” He said voice wavering. “I lost you.”

You stayed quiet for a second.

“I’m sorry I-“

“don’t know who I am?” He said with a dry laugh. “I was sort of expecting that.”

You didn’t say anything studying his face for anything that sparked a memory in you.

He dug through his jacket pocket pulling out a photo.

His hands were sweating and he tried his best not to touch your hand. Partially because he didn’t want you to feel his sweaty hands and because he feared he would break down at the realization that you were finally here in front of him.

“I’m Draco and you’re my soulmate.” He said

AN THIS IS NOT THE LAST PART THE LAST PART WILL BE THE NEXT PART

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy #ginny weasley x reader #hp imagine #harry potter #harry potter x reader #hinny #ronmione #hp #draco #malfoy #x reader #stuck with me #angst

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i-cant-sing · 4 years ago

Note

Omg part 2 for yan light please? Your writing is so on charater for him and yan L was also really good as well

Yandere Light Yagami Pt 2:

Pt 1 can be found here!

Thanks to everyone for requesting pt 1! Enjoy! :)

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Light Yagami:

You didn't know you could be this compliant. You didn't. But Light did.

As you both layed in bed, naked, Light holding you to his chest, rubbing soothing circles on your belly, you both had different train of thoughts that were ultimately going to reach the same station. You were thinking about how you had become so... docile? Had you been in confinement for too long? Was Stockholm syndrome kicking in? Was it because of the guilt of not being able to stop him? Or was it because Light killed everyone you cared about?

You had tried to play his psychological games. But you lost. You had managed to get a hold of the Deathnote, and you were going to write his name in but he caught you and broke your fingers. You then tried to play along; you came up with a good system for who to kill. You would do extensive research on each person, serving both purposes: to see if the person truly deserved death and to slow Light down. But you later found out that your efforts didn't matter. He was killing people on a whim and he was having someone else do it for him. Misa Amane. She was quite famous. And pretty too. You didn't know why Light would use you for intimacy, both in and out of bed, when he already had a willing participant.

For every mistake you made, no matter how little, Light would punish you by killing people you were even remotely associated with. Your family, friends, everyone was dead. And judging by the content look on his face, L was going to die soon too. Hopelessness. Maybe that's why you have become like this.

"I love you." Light said, pressing a kiss to your temple as he snuggled you more. "You're so beautiful like this." You really were, in his eyes. Now that you don't fight him anymore, now that you understood that you belong to him, you're beautiful. Light liked you being so... submissive. But more than that, he loved the look of complete defeat in your eyes, the realisation that you only have him in this world now. No ones going to come for you. No one could; only he and Misa knew about you.

"What's next?"you managed to ask him. Whats next on his list of impending doom? He hummed, before replying, "Well, soon all obstacles in my way are going to be removed. Once that happens, I'll become the ruler of the world. And then, I'll get rid of all the filth in this world." You closed your eyes, asking "how? Do you have a new system of justice in mind?" Light gripped your chin, turning your head towards him. "I am the system, (Y/n). I am justice." You saw that crazy look in his eyes. You sighed, turning away from him, but Light suddenly flipped you over, straddling your waist as he leaned down. His hair tickling your face as he looked at you with possessiveness. "Dont look so gloomy, darling. I know you feel lonely when I'm not here, but soon you'll have a baby to keep you company." He said before kissing you passionately, biting your lips hard before getting off of you. "For now, Misa will keep you entertained." He chuckled before putting the cuff back on your ankle, and left the room.

Misa. When you first met her, you knew she didn't like you. She thought that you were trying to steal Light from him, that you were actually in love with him. She tried to attack you at first, but Light had pulled her out of the room and told her that he actually loved her and that you were just a part of the plan, a temporary plaything. And so Misa put up with you. Light would usually put her in charge of you; he had caught you trying to stab yourself with a nail filer after he had slept with you the first time. And now that you were carrying his child, he had to make sure you wouldn't do anything like that again.

Misa came in a few hours later, locking the door behind her like usual. "Hey, (Y/n)!"she chirped, as she skipped towards you. "I brought some stuff for you!"she told you as she dangled big shopping bag. "Hi, Misa. Whats in that?"you asked her, your voice monotonous. She put the bag down and started to uncuff your ankle. "You'll see! But first, let's take a bath." She helped you clean up yourself and the room. Once she was done, she sat you down on the bed and gave you the bag. You opened the bag to find clothes in it. Maternity clothes. You had barely started to show. You were a bit glad that you hadn’t started showing, because anything associated with the baby would make you remember the events that caused it. When you first realised that you were pregnant, you tried everything you could to get rid of it. You didn't want to give him another thing to hold over your head. But once Light found out, he became even worse somehow. He was glad he was having a child; and now he had to do everything to make the world fit for his offspring. He started handing out harsher deaths, killing off people who rubbed him off the wrong way. To you, he stopped being physically violent. But he did become more possessive of you. He wanted to know what you were doing, why you were doing it. He wanted to know if you had fallen in love with him; if you had finally decided to become his lapdog.

When Misa came to know about your pregnancy, she was angry. Not at Light, but at you. But Light manipulated her again. He told her that he didn't want her to have a kid because her body would get messed up. And he needed her as his right hand, and being pregnant would get in the way of that. Once the baby was here, they would raise it together, as if you were a surrogate. Misa bought it.

You knew Misa wasn't stupid. She was actually quite intelligent. You actually enjoyed her company. After Light would do his number on you, it would be Misa who would come to pick up the pieces. She would be the one to wipe your tears away and bandage you up.

You had tried to convince her to let you go, tried to even fight her. But she was too observant. She predicted your moves. She always knew when you were planning something. She saw right through you.

You thanked Misa for the maternity clothes. She had ordered you guys some food, your favourite. As you began eating, Misa looked at your belly, with adoration and envy? "Penny for your thoughts?"your voice brought her of her trance. "Oh! It's nothing. Just thinking about how much Light would love the baby. I cant wait for it to come!" She smiled. You looked at her, shaking your head. "He won't." "What?" "He won't love the baby, Misa. He isn't capable of that."you told her. She smiled, "You're wrong. He does love. He loves me! He loves you too, I know. But he loves me more! And he'll love the baby as well!"

You finished up your food, "Light doesn't love us Misa. Not you, me or this baby. If he did, why would he beat you? I've seen the bruises on your arms, don't try denying. You know that he's just using you to achieve his goals. And I'm just a rag doll for him. You deserve better than him. You don’t deserve the resentment Light gives you when all you do is love him. Once he's tired of us, he'll get rid of us too. He’s hurt both of us. He's hurting both of us." You held her hand, looking her dead in the eyes. "And love isn't supposed to hurt Misa." She looked at you with an indescribable emotion in her eyes, whatever fantasy of Light she had, was cracking. "Whatever. Its not like I've got through to you before anyways-" you were cut off by Misa, her soft lips crashing with yours.

You tried to push her off, but she wouldn't budge. You heard the door open and suddenly she was ripped off of you. It was Light. He dragged Misa to the corner of the room and started thrashing her. "WHAT THE FUCK MISA?! I TOLD YOU TO LOOK AFTER HER! NOT FUCK HER!" Misa starts stammering, "Light, baby. Its not what you think-" She was cut off by Light slapping her. "Oh its not?! You were fucking sticking your tongue down her throat!" "No, it was just an accide-" He slapped her again, causing her to cry. "SHUT UP! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED YOU! SHE'S MINE! MINE!" Light started choking her, not realising in his screaming fit that he'd left the door wide open for you.

This was it. The perfect distraction. Your moment to escape has finally come. But you couldn't move. Not when your eyes were fixed on Misa.

You were almost a carbon copy of Light when it came to intelligence. But you still weren't able to escape him all these months. Because Light was able to control you because of a single flaw of yours. You cared. You cared about people you didn't even know, but you still cared.

If I leave now, she will die. And with that thought, you lunged towards Light, pulling at his arms trying to get him off. "Light! Stop it! Its not her fault!" Suddenly, you were pushed to the ground. Light started punching you. "Oh I know its not her fault! ITS YOURS! YOU DECIDED TO WHORE YOURSELF TO HER SO YOU COULD GET OUT OF HERE, RIGHT?! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU. BELONG. TO. ME!?!"He yelled between punches.

Misa looked at you from behind Light's shoulder. She quickly got up and tried to stop him. Pulling at his arm, she yelled again "Light! Stop! You'll kill her and the baby!" But he didn't stop, only replying "She's gone through worse! And if the baby's that weak, then it doesn't deserve to survive!" And just like that, Misa realised you were right. Whatever dream she had of Light and her was gone. She slowly backed away from Light.

Light was still punching you, even though you had lost consciousness long ago. Suddenly, Light started choking up. He got off you, not understanding what was happening to him. He turned to look for Misa, asking her to help him. But as she stood there, with the Deathnote in her hands, he realised what had happened. Misa had written his name. "M-Misa!?" She just stood there, her eyes glazed. Or had she finally woken up? "Love isn't supposed to hurt, Light And you've hurt us. A lot. Now perish."

Once Light had stopped breathing, she rushed towards you. She checked for your pulse. You were still alive. Misa pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "It'll be okay, (Y/n). We'll be okay. I'll fix everything."

You all got part 2, I got the ending I wanted. Everybody wins.

Now if someone here knows how to study biochem or do witchcraft, hmu cause I dont wanna fail exams. Speaking of which, Ill be less active here, so if you do send in requests, keep them short. Or better yet, send in questions. I’ll be happy to answer them. :)

#yandere death note #yandere light yagami #light yagami x reader #light yagami #yandere light #yandere light x reader #yandere misa #misa amane x reader #yandere misa amane

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primalsouls · 4 years ago

Text

white rabbit pt 4

langa hasegawa x gn! reader (pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3)

anon: will white rabbit have a part 4? ( if yes pls pls give them a happy ending hehe ) but its oki if you dont want to, no pressure! i just really enjoyed it and i love ur writing btw :)

⚠️ : im terrible at picking up what's a trigger, so let me know is there's anything uncomfortable!

theme: general

note: ooh my heart 💔 rip white rabbit 🐇🙏🕊 anyway, here's pt 4! :> i hope you like it and enjoy it! and thank you for reading! let me know what you think. :) i really like this chapter the most lol

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

"Leave... Wonderland?"

"Forever?"

Reki and Langa stared at Adam with frowns on their face. Eyes widen at the words. Whispers surrounded them quick, destroying the small silence that gave the words to settle in for everyone. Blue eyes looked back at the [h/c]-haired skater. Their head still hanged low but he could see the sheer rage their fists held.

"He's saying that... [Y/N] [L/N], the White Rabbit, is leaving S." Miya repeated.

"Forever. Meaning.... They're kicked out." Shadow sighed, shaking his head.

Hearing those words, [Y/N] gritted their teeth and unclenched their fists. They looked up at Adam, a pleading expression on their face as they pulled their hoodie back.

"P-please... I don't wanna leave." They said, voice cracked in the beginning. Langa's heart broke at the sight. But before he could do anything, Adam walked up to them. "I'll do anything, please. Let me stay!" They continued but they flinched when their board was taken away from them harshly by Adam.

"A bet is a bet. Besides, it's about time S gets rid of its pests." Adam grinned. He snapped his finger, a couple of men bringing in a can of gasoline and a box of matches. Their eyes widen. Langa and the rest of his friends stood frozen, unable to believe the scene before them. Silence took over the crowd. [Y/N] knew they couldn't do anything to stop Adam from destroying their skateboard. "You should have won and this wouldn't happen. Remember, it's your fault." He said quietly. And with sheer power, he lifted the board and broke it in half with his knee. [Y/N] stared at him with wide eyes and mouth gaped slightly in shock. Tears pooled up and streamed down their cheeks one by one, one after the other.

"N-no... please, don't..." They whispered, a hand reaching out weakly but it didn't move much. [Y/N] was too shock to move any more than an inch.

Adam threw the broken board on the ground. He was handed the gasoline and the box of matches. He poured the liquid over the pieces, his masked eyes never leaving his younger sibling's face. Their look of terror filled him with chills. He loved it. Such as he loved the finish touch to the punishment. With elegance, Adam pulled out a match and stroke it on the igniter side of the box. Fire bursts on the matchstick. Adam flicked it onto the broken board like it was nothing and within seconds, flames burst to life, consuming the skateboard.

Langa watched with horror. [Y/N] didn't deserve that. They didn't deserve to leave. A bet wasn't even established. So, why? Why was this happening? His eyes went up to [Y/N].

"White Rabbit-"

"They're no longer go by that title." Adam interrupted coldly. "By losing this beef, no only are they banned from S, their title is no longer theirs to claim. White Rabbit is dead." Langa's eyes widen as his frown deepened. He couldn't believe it. This was not supposed to happen. Not supposed to lead to this results. No one supposed to be kick out or strip from their title. Adam reached a hand out. Langa saw how tensed [Y/N] got as the hand grew closer to them. The gloved fingers gently held into the S pin. It was on their collar of their hoodie but the next second, it wad ripped off from them. He threw it into the flames.

"I... I'm sorry..." [Y/N] apologized. Langa didn't understand. There was nothing to apologize for. Was it for Adam? For losing the race and everything they built for themselves? [Y/N] kept staring at the board, not noticing Adam turned his back on them. But his last words lef them in breaking in pieces.

"And don't bother coming home. A wild animal like you don't belong there. Never had and never will." As his final saying, Adam picked up his board and walked away but stopped to face Langa with a smirk. "Oh, and once again, my dear SNOW, congratulations." Langa blinked, watching Adam disappeared from everyone's sight.

"Damn..." Shadow muttered.

"Vanished from S... what a turn of events." Miya commented quietly.

Reki frowned at Adam's disappearing figure before he turned to Langa and [Y/N]. Everyone else slowly departed. Reki walked up to the two skaters, the broken board still caught in flames. Tears continued to spill from their eyes, Reki saw. Before the two could say any sort of comfort words to them, [Y/N] turned away from them and ran, ran as fast as they could. Away. They needed to get away and breathe. They couldn't breathe properly. Their chest was killing them. Sobs caught in their throat when they tried to cry. It hurts them. Their heart hurts. Everything was always their fault. They deserved. They believed they deserved it. They weren't a Shindo. They were a pest in the family. That was why Adam-no-Ainosuke told them not to come home. He was kicking them out. He was probably make up a lie to their aunts to make it seem it was their decision. For the better of the Shindo Family, they would say.

Life truly wasn't fair.

"C'mon, let's go!" Langa said, getting ready to chase after them but Reki grabbed his arm, pulling him back. He winced, the grip on his arm reminded him of the injuries he received during the race. "Wha- what? We have to go after them, Reki." He said, pointing towards [Y/N] running off.

"But you'll hurt even more with injuries like this. Besides, it's not our business. What happened with them was between them and Adam." Reki said. Miya nodded as he walked up to them.

"He's right, Langa. We should stay out of it. They're no longer of importance." Miya added in, crossing his arms over his chest. Langa frowned at the two boys.

"It's probably not the best time to even go after them. It's best that we mind our own business for now." Shadow advised, the other two boys giving affirmative responses. Langa tried to come up with reasons to go after them, but Reki shook his head and led Langa awau from the factory, pointing out the cuts once again. That was the last time Langa saw [Y/N].

The past couple of weeks, they were no were in sight. No familiar white hoodie resembling a white rabbit was found around S. No one spoke about them. It was like they never existed in the first place. As if S never heard of a skater called White Rabbit. Langa tried to find ways to get into contact with them but whenever he mentioned them, he was ignored, shut down, avoided. He was worried for them, for their safety. If Adam truly meant his words, then where would [Y/N] be? Langa wanted to make sure they were okay. That was all he wanted to know.

"[Y/N]... where are you?" Langa muttered as he walked through the park. He was planning to meet Reki at their usual hangout. Although, he wanted to clear his mind out of [Y/N] and the events that occurred. It wasn't their fault. It was his. If he never beef against them, Langa would had still see them every night at S, even from a fair distance to admire them. They would still be in his life, somehow.

"Ah, sorry..." A tired voice said. Langa looked down, not realizing he bumped into someone. He did felt something hit him as he walked, but he didn't pay too much attention. Langa opened his mouth to apologize instead but words were caught in his throat. His eyes widen. He couldn't believe it. The board in his hand dropped to the ground beside him, both hands reaching up a bit.

"It's you..." Langa whispered. Confusion replaced the apologic gaze on their face. "White Rabbit." When the title left his lips, it was their turn for their eyes to grew wide. Langa smiled brightly. "It's you, White Rabbit. [Y/N]." Langa was happy. He found his white rabbit once more. But no more words left Langa's lips as a hand slapped his cheek. It took him a second to register the outcome. A shaky hand of his reached to touch the burning cheek. He flinched when his fingers came into contact. "Wh-what?" A handprint appeared as a light red shade on his cheek. His eyes focused on them. They didn't wore their signature hoodie. Only a black one with dark blue jeans and white Vans shoes. Their eyes were still the same crimson color but filled with anger. And sadness? Langa parted his lips, unable to say anything.

"Don't call me that name. Because of you, I'm no longer.... that..." [Y/N] spat out, glaring dangerously at Langa. "You took everything away from me. You ruined my life!" They yelled, all the feelings they tried to bottle in exploded. Langa watched with a shook expression as they ranted off on him. He may be dense to others' emotions but he could pick up the hurt in [Y/N]'s voice. The way they trembled with rage. He didn't like that. Langa didn't like seeing them upset. Especially when hd was the one who caused it.

"I'm sorry."

[Y/N] paused, staring at Langa with wide eyes. Their frown grew deeper as they tried to find any sort of pity or joke in his baby blue eyes. In which they felt like they were looking at the ocean. So blue. Like the sky. [Y/N] shook their head rapidly, gritting their teeth.

"Oh, shut up. I don't need your pity. And I doubt you're sorry! Because of you, not only was I kicked out of S, I was kicked out of my home... Not like it ever felt like home anyway..." They said, mumbling the last words but Langa caught them.

"Wait? Home... Where were you staying at?" Langa asked, voice filled with concern. [Y/N] scrunched their nose, eyes narrowed. "I swear, I'm not pitying you. I'm actually... worried. I've been worried for a long time now. Ever since you left S." Langa said, looking away from them, sudden feeling timid for no particular reason. They raised a brow, watching Langa's movements to fact-check his worries. There was no hint of him lying. But they still kept their guard up. "I even asked around back in S for the past few weeks. Not one single person said anything...It's like you-"

"-never existed." They continued for him softly, eyes casted down to the ground. Their features relaxed but Langa noted the sadness stayed. No anger in sight. They sighed tiredly, running a hand through their hair. "Doesn't matter... Just stop it." [Y/N] crossed their arns over their chest, raising a brow. "Beside, the hell you kept asking about me? Aren't you happy I've been kicked?"

Langa shook his head right away once the question next their lips.

"No. I'm not happy. In fact, I..." Langa took a deep breath, trying to think on his words before they left his mouth. "I'm not enjoying myself." He mumbled, making [Y/N] take a step closer to hear him properly. They tilted their head, lips tugged down a bit as they urged him to repeat himself and keep going. "It makes me sad not to see you at S anymore. I didn't want any of that to happen. I didn't even know what was going on." Langa shrugged, looking at them with a pout. A pout they found adorable. He looked like a kicked puppy who didn't like the fact their owner left their home everyday. [Y/N] mentally cringed at the thought. What were they thinking? This was the same guy who went up against their brother and banned them from S. They hated him. They were supposed to hate him. [Y/N] clicked their tongue, throwing Langa off the sense, wondering if he said anything wrong. A faint red hue decorated their cheeks. They turned their back on him, hugging themselves.

"Whatever. Whether you knew what was going on or not, doesn't matter. My board got destroyed and I can't go back to S. Everything happened..." [Y/N] whispered, arms slowly fell back to their sides as they watched the sun beginning to settle down for the rest of the day. "I've got nothing... I've got no one-"

"You got me." Langa butt in. The words made them do a double take on him. It caught them off guard. And Langa continued to surprise them. A determined glint in his eyes as he stepped closer. "Reki can build you a new board and we can all skate. Together. We can skate outside of S, anyway. It'll be fun!" Langa bounced a bit in his steps, smiling brightly. "We can hang out together. And if you don't have a job, you can work with Reki and me. You even move in wi-"

"Stop..."

"We can go to school togeth-"

"Stop it."

"You got us! So, you don't have to wor-"

"Shut up!"

Langa blinked, taken back by the sudden outburst from [Y/N]. He focused back on them, confused why they told him to quiet down. Their brows knitted down, hands clutched by their side. The sunset shoned behind them. The soft breeze brushed against their figure out. And if Langa squinted, he could had notice their faint blush reddened slightly. They looked cute. He wanted to see them blush again.

"Just... why are you doing this?" They asked, their eyes looking anywhere but Langa. They were shy. They found it unbelievable but it happened. They were shy.

Langa stared at them for a moment, making [Y/N] nervous.

"Because I like you."

Those words froze [Y/N] on the spot. Their eyes widen, lips parted slightly. The words ran through their mind like an echo. Langa's charmed smile implanted with it.

"And I want to be your friend."

Impossible.

"That's..." [Y/N]'s face was burning up. Cheeks redder they matched their eyes. "That's stupid." They blurted out quickly, taking a step back. Langa frowned a bit, not unexpecting that sort of answer to his confession. A confession they weren't sure if they were happy about or sadden by it.

"No one wants to be my friend. No one likes me... That's what they always told me." [Y/N] took another step back, brows knitted down but not in anger but in sorrow. Every step they took back, Langa takes one forward. "I'm unlovable... I don't... deserve it." The young former skater shook their head, as if snapping into reality. Tears welled up on their eyes. "You don't like me. You don't. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't," They repeated quietly, hugging themselves as the tears rolled down their cheeks. Langa panicked. He didn't wanted to upset them. What they said made him wonder who told them such statements. They trembled and he didn't know what to do.

Except for one thing. And he hoped he don't get slap doing so.

Arms wrapped around their frame, a hand on their head as the other rest on their lower back. The hand stroke their head as the other ran their back in a circular form. Langa closed his eyes, hugging [Y/N] closed to him.

"Shh... shh... It's okay, [Y/N]..." He whispered. "Whoever told you those things, they... they don't know what they're talking about." Langa took a deep breath. "But I'm telling the truth. And you do deserve it." He pulled away a bit, cupping their face with his hands and made them looked at him. "I like you. I like you very much. And even though I want to be more, I do want to be your friend." Langa smiled genuinely, blue eyes staring into red ones. "So, please... let me be your friend."

[Y/N] stared at Langa, stunned in his embrace. The blush darkened as Langa continued. They couldn't believe it. Their heart pounded little by little with every word Langa spoke. The hands on their face felt nice. The comfort hug was something they never experienced. They only got hurt by the hands of those who dared say they loved them. But, for whatever reason, they trusted Langa's words.

"Please... don't hurt me..."

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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 4 years ago

Text

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter One

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2101

Chapter Warning: Bad Language Words, tiny bit of angst

A/N: I started this on AO3 awhile ago. Now that I have a blog dedicated primarily to just Marvel/Bucky, I thought I’d add it here, too. Enjoy!

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission.

Bucky heard his phone buzz as he was tugging a butter-soft tee over his head. He glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand next to his bed as he worked his arms into their respective holes.

9:36

Steve was long in bed already, so the text most likely wasn’t from him. Sam was on a me me kick-- No, what did he call them? Memes!-- of a disgruntled cat which he swore reminded him of the super soldier. He wouldn’t be surprised if it were him. Or possibly Nat. She picked up the new issue of Guns & Ammo the other day and was sending him pictures of a Mossberg MC1sc 9mm she was drooling over.

Smoothing the body of the shirt over his torso, Bucky ambled over to his bed. He snatched up the phone from the navy blue comforter and flipped it over. To his amazement, the text wasn’t from Sam or Nat. Or even Steve.

(917) 460-5480 work thing boring af. kinda tied one on. might be late meeting you tomorrow

He blinked several times at the message, uncertain how to respond. It was a wrong number, right? Bucky hadn’t made plans with anyone for tomorrow that he could remember. Plus, everyone he knew had the same work thing. And it was rarely boring.

Definitely a wrong number.

He set the phone down near the clock, choosing to ignore the text. Hopefully, whoever this person was, figured out quickly they were texting the wrong number and moved on.

Bucky pulled back the covers before climbing into bed. His body melted into the mattress, muscles relaxing for the first time since breakfast. Training had been non-stop all day today. It felt good to just be, for once.

He grabbed the book he was reading off the nightstand and opened it to the spot he left off. He cleared his mind, as best he could, and concentrated on the words on the page.

A few pages in, his phone vibrated alive again. Another text message.

(917) 460-5480 sis dont be mad youd be drinking too if you had to sit thru one of these business dinners

Bucky sighed. He had hoped his radio silence would have clued this person into their mistake. Wishful thinking. Before he could punch out a reply, another text came through.

(917) 460-5480 timmons is droning on about this new client. kill me now

He quickly typed out a reply:

(917) 308-3117 I think you sent this to me by mistake.

Bucky watched the text indicator pulse as this unknown person worked out their response.

(917) 460-5480 haha very funny sis

Bucky huffed at this person’s disbelief, thumbs working on typing out his next message.

(917) 308-3117 I’m not trying to be funny. I can’t be someone’s sister when I’m a man.

He set the phone down on the nightstand again, hoping this person finally took a hint. He opened his book back up to the current page, taking a deep breath.

The room’s silence was broken again by the loud thrumming of his phone skittering across the surface of the black wood veneer.

(917) 460-5480 how does kevin feel about this so close to the wedding???

(917)460-5480 will you still need a wedding dress or will you just get a tux???

(917) 460-5480 am i still your maid of honor???

Bucky chuckled at this girl (no, young woman) asking the essential questions.

(917) 308-3117 Your sister did not get a sex change. Yes, she will still need a wedding dress. Yes, you are still her maid of honor. Like I said before, wrong number.

An almost immediate reply came through.

(917) 460-5480 prove it

Bucky grew slightly irritated at the insinuation. Why couldn’t she take his word for it? He exhaled loudly through his nose.

(917) 308-3117 How?

A few moments passed before the device juddered in the palm of his large hand.

(917) 460-5480 selfie

Bucky blanched at the request. He could feel the color drain from his face, only to immediately heat with a blush. A selfie? That is the last thing he wanted to do.

Although he’d been exonerated for his crimes as The Winter Soldier, he still knew about the dislike people felt about him as a person, in general. They couldn’t get past the brainwashing or other persona. God knows he still struggled with it.

He couldn’t go broadcasting his face through texts to a stranger. What if she was one of those who didn’t understand he had no say in what he did or what happened to him under Hydra’s control?

What if he ignored the solicitation? He could do that. Maybe even turn off his phone.

She did seem the type to be very persistent until she got what she wanted.

True to form, another text rang through.

(917) 460-5480 i will keep texting until i see your manly face

One corner of his lips quirked higher. Yup, persistent.

He navigated to the camera app on his phone and switched it to selfie mode. He stared at the damp locks falling to his shoulders. His beard would require a trim soon, but it wasn’t scraggly. Luckily, he’d had the hindsight to shave his neckbeard in the shower earlier.

Was he considering this? Some girl says jump, and he asks how high?

He combed metal fingers through his hair, blowing out a breath.

(917) 460-5480 im waiting

Bucky growled at the text, running a hand over his face. “Okay, okay. Give me a second,” he said to his phone. He held it up to head height, half an arm’s length away.

Click!

He previewed the picture, assuring himself it didn’t reveal too much. It was, somehow, off-center, containing a bearded chin and half a smirked mouth, one nostril, and a half-lidded eye.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Bucky pulled the messaging app back up and then sent off the picture. He tossed the phone aside, not wanting to watch the taunting blinking dots as he waited for a reply.

The picture was barely recognizable, but someone like Steve or Nat could tell it was him. It would be okay. No one would know.

His phone vibrated violently near him on the bed. Bucky cautiously plucked the device up, debating whether he wanted to read her reply. What if it said, “Holy shit! You’re The Winter Soldier!”? The hope of this woman thinking he was just some regular guy knotted up his stomach. He didn’t know why he cared so much about whether this stranger thought he was The Soldier or not. He had no control over who believed the lies perpetrated as truth through the media. He could only wish for the best.

He blew out the breath he was holding in and eyed the phone’s screen.

(917) 460-5480 is it fair to say men shouldnt be allowed to have long eyelashes??

Bucky laughed and immediately thought of poor Steve.

(917) 308-3117 You should see my buddy’s. The girls swoon and complain at the same time.

He quickly added to the message thread:

(917) 308-3117 Am I correct to assume you believe I’m a man and not your sister?

The response was swift.

(917) 460-5480 oh shit ur not my sister

(917) 460-5480 this isnt 9173083447?

Bucky laughed again, the tension in his chest slowly unfurling.

(917) 308-3117 Unfortunately for you-- no.

(917) 460-5480 ugh im such an idiot sorry for the shit i said

(917) 308-3117 Don’t worry about it. I had a good laugh at your expense.

(917) 460-5480 oh god now i feel like a bigger ass

Bucky suddenly felt like backpedaling. He hadn’t meant for her to feel bad about her mistake. It was cute in a roundabout way.

(917) 308-3117 Please don’t be embarrassed. It was the highlight of my night.

(917) 460-5480 me forcing u to prove ur a man was the best part of ur night??

Bucky thought for a moment. Was it the best part? The training sessions had become monotonous lately, even with the new agents. The team hadn’t been on any missions in a few weeks, so it was pretty accurate to say he was bored around the compound.

(917) 308-3117 I suppose it was. Work’s been a little slow, and there’s only so much training you can do before it becomes tedious.

(917) 460-5480 training? r u in the military? ooh, r u an athlete??

A laugh bubbled up from his chest. It was comical to see her try to guess his profession. His selfie hadn’t announced who he was to her after all.

(917) 308-3117 Something like that.

(917) 460-5480 so mysterious! r u some assassin who needs to keep his identity secret? is that y ur selfie only showed a quarter of ur face??

He paled at the implication. Maybe she did know and was yanking his chain. How did he block numbers again?

Another text came through from the mystery woman:

(917) 460-5480 not that i mind u have a luscious mouth

Bucky guffawed at the comment as flames rose beneath the skin of his cheeks. He hadn’t remembered blushing this much in such a short amount of time in decades.

(917) 308-3117 How much have you had to drink tonight, doll?

(917) 460-5480 doll?? what r u my grandpa??

He chuckled again. God, he was old enough and then some.

(917) 460-5480 enough to not want to shoot my brains out but not enough to know this dinner isnt a party

(917) 308-3117 Maybe you should get back to your dinner? I don’t want to get you into trouble.

He regretted the text the second he pressed send. Was he trying to get rid of her? No. Or was he looking out for her? This person he knew nothing about. She was more entertaining than the recurring nightmare he’d been having for the last week, that's for sure. He'd cling to this unknown to avoid slipping into that black abyss.

(917) 460-5480 aww does the military-trained assassin athlete mchottie not want to talk with me anymore?? 🙁

(917) 308-3117 No!! I’m honestly concerned you’ll be reprimanded if you pay more attention to your phone than Timmons.

The last thing Bucky needed was to feel more guilt, especially if it was at the expense of someone’s livelihood. His shoulders were already heavy enough.

(917) 460-5480 thats sweet but dont worry ur pretty little head over me timmons wouldnt last a day w/o me

(917) 460-5480 timmons may be the boss but i run that office

He simpered at her swagger. He could only imagine what kind of office she worked in because, again, a total stranger. Did he want to get to know her more, or was this a one and done thing? Would she wake up tomorrow and want to continue the conversation or blow him off for the drunken mistake her first text had been?

Bucky stared at his phone for several more minutes, pondering precisely what he was doing and what his expectations of the night were. It’s not like he was going to meet her in person, right? Was he that delusional? He was an Avenger now. He didn’t get a social life. Not that he had one before but still.

He was startled from his reverie as the phone shook in his hand.

(917) 460-5480 did i scare you away??

(917) 308-3117 No. Just thinking about tomorrow.

(917) 460-5480 shit a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie must have a lot to prepare for mentally ill let u get ur rest

He smiled at the gesture. If only she knew.

(917) 308-3117 Send me a text when you get home. I want to make sure you arrived okay.

(917) 460-5480 such a gentleman! i don’t want to wake u if ur asleep tho

(917) 308-3117 I doubt I’ll be sleeping, but it’ll help ease my mind.

(917) 460-5480 alright ill shoot a text ttfn

(917) 308-3117 ttfn?

(917) 460-5480 ta ta for now god u r a grandpa

(917) 308-3117 Yeah, yeah

Bucky’s mouth split into yet, another grin as he set his phone down once again on the nightstand. He picked up his discarded book and found his place on the page. After a few minutes of re-reading the same paragraph over and over, he slipped the bookmark into the gutter of the book. His mind was too preoccupied with the thought of some random girl in the city at a boring work dinner. He realized he hadn’t stopped smiling since they temporarily said goodbye.

Maybe there was a good chance this conversation would carry into tomorrow.

CHAPTER TWO

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

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justasimplesinner · 3 years ago

Note

Can be silly or serious, up to you. How would the big Bois respond with an S/O who in the middle of a surprise shoot out just yeets a car at the attackers? Like they were on a date n then some rivals drive up. After the smoke settles S/I just looks to the boy with tears streaming down their face, " I'm sorry" they say thought their sobs " I just didn't know how to tell you about me being a freak".

Thank you soooo much

ay darl im sorry if this sucks but i really didnt know what to do with this request in all honesty. i dont even know how to name those hcs. no thoughts head empty

Bane hcs:

he really didn't expect that shit would hit the fan like that. it was supposed to be simple. he was just picking up a weapons drop at the docks with some of his crew. you weren't even supposed to be there but he made the grave mistake of letting you tag along for once, he usually never let you go anywhere near his shady deals because of his concern for your safety. but oh well, you're here now. and so is the police. not an ideal situation at all

his top priority is protecting you. he's gonna fucking shield you with his body if he must, but he won't let you get hurt. nobody was ready for the police forces to round up on y'all and now he has to improvise to get you out of there but that's easier said than done. until you just fucking snap and before he even comprehends that you escaped from behind him, there are cars flying and flames blazing

he's taken aback. anyone would be. it's not every day you see your "Certified Small Bean" partner just up and yeet a car at the police. the second the opportunity arises, he takes you the hell away from the whole scene, but he has some questions. he will, of course, try to somehow comfort you, but why did you keep that hidden from him? were you ashamed? is there anything else you're hiding? he doesn't have anything against your powers, but he's starting to wonder if you've been really truthful with him. he really values honesty, and you know he wouldn't ever disrespect or hate you for who you are. look at him, he's literally taking drugs to make him as strong as you naturally are, he's in no place to talk shit. you're still the apple of his eye, but now he just doesn't see you as all that helpless and in need of protection

Croc hcs:

Waylon doesn't usually get involved in shoot-outs. he keeps to the sidelines, lives in the sewer, doesn't really have a crew. he's just sometimes "employed" by other rogues, and he's cool with that. this time, he was supposed to supervise Penguin's weapons deal in Otisburg, but someone snitched and there was another gang trying to take over the deal. jobs for Penguin were always smooth and went according to plan, and his payment for the job was a free dinner at the Lounge, so he just took you with him and intended to take you out for a nice date for once. and this one time you're there, shit goes down and guns start blazing

his mind goes blank and it's like he jumps to you on instinct. he doesn't care about the deal, he doesn't care about anything, his only thought is to keep you safe. he feels like a fucking idiot for taking you there, he should've known. he should've known shit will hit the fan the second he thinks things are going good for him. he's starting to panic, because if it was just a shoot-out, he'd probably be fine, but you're there and you can die and it's gonna be his fault. and then this whole thing turns into you saving his sorry ass

he has a momentary mind-fuck. was that a car you just flipped at the attackers? for a moment, he can't even comprehend what's going on and then suddenly, you're crying and apologizing and he doesn't understand shit. like, why didn't you tell him? that's kind of a big thing, y'know? worst part is, his brain twists the whole thing into thinking you didn't trust him nearly as much as he trusted you and that maybe you didn't think he was good enough. why wouldn't you tell him if that wasn't the case? why would he, out of all people, call you a freak? you've seen him? he fucking knows how it is. do you really think so lowly of him? it's gonna take some serious explaining to get rid of his new-found insecurities, but the damage is done

#bane #eduardo dorrance #killer croc #waylon jones #my writing #headcannons #some angst #i guess #anonymous

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yellowbluemoonshine · 3 years ago

Note

When akito punched momiji in beach arc i was just simping for her i finded him pretty annoying cuz story of yadada u know so i didnt feel for him n when watching reaction of that ep they were like what did he do to tohru n momiji that bastard or any scene of her and i was JUST simping for her on any scene i was like 'akito she looks so good here *show kyo traumatived face* OMG NO KYOO anyways akito looks good here' kinda feel bad for zodiac n tohru cuz i would be SIMPING for akito if i was there

Actually, i have different thoughts about this. Like i dont care her looks that much, to me, her position in this sitution and who she really is matters me more.

And Akito-Momiji scene. First of all, i dont easiely hate character, especially when i dont know much about them. Also, Akito is 'the villain/antagonist' so as reader, you would expect them to make trouble. (And stories are entertaining when there is trouble.) She is acting as abusive and exchange, she is treated as villain anyway. Of course she did wrong thing but eventually it backfires to her anyway. (And its important to remember that people are capable of making mistakes and later they can change).

I also dont think this is part of her personality, whole reason her acting cruel is because of how warped her personality became. More than 'this is who she is', its like 'she lost her sense of self'. Which is again very sad.

Its not that i didnt feel empathy or sorry for zodiacs or Tohru but more like, i just have more empathy for Akito, her feelings and even her actions.

Tohru, Rin, Momiji, Kyo, Yuki, Hatori etc they all have their own sad stories and have their own issues but why would i be sorry for them?

During the story, they are allowed to healing, spending time people they care about, people are worried about them and empathize with their situtions. Of course, there are times you feel sorry for them but everyone is busy with being happy and idolizing Tohru. Eventually, they have very entertaining scenes and happy moments. Good for them. GOOD FOR THEM. Really. I am glad for them.

And guess, who never has those things during the story?

Akito.

During the story, she was never part of those happy pictures. She doesnt have any entertaining moment. She is constantly upset and depressed.

Oh No, Akito is here, now they have to take a break from their happy moments but Akito goes, they hug each others and continue their happy lifes. Meanwhile Akito continues her sad lifes without knowing how to interact with people, she is dying out of loneliness.

How can i not feel sorry for her when there is literally noone who actually empathize with her?

Lets look at her position.

Almost every day, she is being abused by Ren and has to listen how much her mother hates her and will anyone bother to do something about it? Nope, they dont. Noone protects her when she nees. They only comfort her after that.

She spends most of her times in that clan, she doesnt have interaction with outside world that much, she almost never get out of her room (LOOK AT HOW EMPTY HER ROOM IS) and older zodiac is criticising her, the hell somehow she could change in that kind of environment.

Imagine the ones who supposed to love the most says 'loving her is a curse'. Imagine the most closest person to you is thinking like this about you. Imagine the people who was supposed to be your family is constantly trying to get rid of you, treating you like a curse.

Of course, its understandable, especially from younger zodiacs perspective but that doesnt change the fact that Akito is also suffering so much.

And i think the reason people dismiss this because they think 'zodiacs escapes Akito because Akito hurted them', not really actually. In the past, Akito treated them nice, she silently sit on her place and wait someone to talk with her but noone did. Older zodiacs only stayed with her when she needed. Sh*gure was obsesed with her. Ayame ignored her. Yuki didnt want to be friends with her. Other zodiacs tried to not interact with her. Why? Because she is god. Zodiac were trying to escape her even when she didnt do anything wrong. Again, its understandable from their sitution, of course they wouldt want to have god but think about it from Akito's sitution. How many time she waited someone to look at her, talked with her, she didnt want anything more than this.

She was always suffering and suffering. She hold everything inside of her until she couldnt. Watching her mentalbreakdown was so saddening for me.

Thats say we understand why younger zodiacs didnt understand her but look at the older zodiacs.

Kureno stays with Akito when she needs it. Hatori only goes to Akito when she is sick. (Also notice that Hatori was about to leave at first which is ooof). Like, its good thing that they dont leave her when she is having hard times but being with someone only when they have hard times....no wonder Akito doesnt take care of herself well. After all, to be able to be noticed/seen as person, she needs every day to be bad. Otherwise, she will be lonely again.

Sh*gure pities himself and say i am the most cursed of all cause i love Akito. He seems to understand he traps and harms himself but he never look at how his relationship with her hurts Akito's herself. He is constantly making her inscure and has a big responsible for her unable to trust people.

Story make it looks like Kureno made wrong choice for staying with Akito, even though, if he didnt, things would be worse. And somehow Sh*gure's playing with her mental state is shown as okay which is messed up.

Akito didnt have to break to be able to heal. Akito didnt need someone who will blindly obey her, she didnt need someone to pity her, she didnt someone who will only be by her side when she needs, she didnt need someone who will play mind games with her. She just needs to go outside and interact with people. She nees healing in healthy environment. She needs someone who will love her as her own person.

Not only position of older zodiacs made it sound like Akito cant be loved as her own person, they also acted like Akito's being stubborn. Even though, she was dealing with severe of mental illness. Even though, there is just so many things going on with her.

Imagine she is having bedridden for days but Hatori casually says it, like its normal. Or he says Akito is good at being sick hmmm i wonder why. Or Sh*gure saying that Akito is idiot for not understanding, the hell she could from her position, real fool is Sh*gure.

Etc etc so many things.

She literaly believes that to be able to remembered by someone, she has to be fearfull, like she is so sure that she wont be loved. If this is not tragic, nothing else it is.

Even in that scene, Kyo pretty much stand out against Akito pretty well, especially compared to zodiac. Akito looked so powerless in this scene lol.

Or even her scene with Tohru. Her hatred and jeolousy towards Akito is so relatable. Tohru has everything Akito couldnt have. She had lovely family, faithfull friends, normal highschool life and now even zodiac etc.

This reminds me a story. Just like a kid who lives in streets. He doesnt have family, he is lonely, hungry, wants affection but he doesnt have one. Then he sees happy family in house that looks like really warm. He throws a stone and break the glass of window. Child ran away and family is freaked out but eventually, street kid turns to his miserable life and family returns to their happy moments anyway. Who is the one really pitifull here?

Of course its the street kid. You cant help but envy people who have the things you dont have. You can even develop hatred, its only natural to feel that way. Akito is that street kid. Watching Akito's scenes with Tohru and zodiac, thats what i felt, she was causing trouble but not because for the sake of it, she was extremely lonely and wanted to be noticed.

I am not surprised by fandom's reactions cause many people dont understand mental issues at all. All they see is a character hurting their favorites but during the series, i just saw her screaming for help and being ignored. Again, i am glad for zodiacs, Kyo and Tohru but i always worried about Akito cause she was the one who always being left behind. From beginning until the end, i always felt sorry for her the most. From outside Kyo, Yuki, Rin's trauma looks sadder for others, of course its all sad, every pain is valid but people wont become victim forever. Kyo, Yuki, Rin etc they are allowed to healing and loving as person but same thing didnt happen with Akito so of course, the ones who couldnt have a chance to heal is in harder position than the ones who are allowed to heal. Its only natural that i feel for Akito.

I understand how you feel, anon because she deserves to be protected, loved and cared. They messed her so badly, its only natural to wanting to protect her. She deserves so much better than this. Actually, if she interacted with people ouside of clan, she would change anyway. She wouldnt have supernatural power against normal people, this is why she was afraid of real world and going outside, thats how clan system worked and controlled Akito. She is capable of changing, actually very kind and caring girl, she just needs to be allowed to grow, just like every other person.

And she is deep amazing character who is also related to theme of story so of course, i would love her.

This became my rant but anyway. I love her and she deserves better.

(Btw, i might not answer all anon asks cause i would like to answer to the ones i can talk about/make an analysis.)

#anon ask #sohma akito #fandom criticism #fruits basket #writing criticism

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soulwillower · 4 years ago

Text

heat waves • stanley uris

(stanley uris x reader smut)

requested: stanley uris fic where he plays baseball and she plays softball please? best friends to lovers if you can! (bonus for borrowing each other's clothes)

warnings: softball player! reader, swearing, smut at the end sorry, oral (male receiving), fluff mostly though, i promise, unedited as fuck i wrote this all in the last few hours LOL

i hope u dont mind i added smut at the end

(this was inspired partly by the song heat waves by glass animals but just a bit idk)

[losers + reader are 18+.]

3.2k words i think

♡

it was hot.

in fact it was boiling fucking hot, in stan's opinion, and despite loving nearly everything about summer, the heat was the absolute worst of those characteristics by far.

he sighs as he flies down the backroads, away from the baseball fields and towards his house. he's pushing his curls back from his face and groaning as he feels sweat beads on his forehead, his eyes catching the dying sunlight and making him itch to wash his hands.

it's june, and there's a deep heatwave that hit derry that's caused all the a/c units at the store richie works at to disappear from the shelves, the public pool that bill and eddie work at the become overcrowded with kids and families escaping the heat, and the baseball fields to be extremely blistering as mike, stan, and you had to stand under the sun all day the last two days.

his lips twitch up faintly at the thought of earlier today, when he'd had a ten minute break and had ran over in his spikes with mike to catch an inning of the softball game on the fields adjacent to theirs.

the only reason they'd gone was to see you play, of course - and to your embarrassment, they'd caught right when you'd stepped to the plate and had hollered "yeah, baby! y/n/n!" loud enough to make everybody in the stands' head turn and embarrassing enough to make you giggle as you waited for the pitch.

you'd hit a double then, which had also scored in two runs and stan had seen your smile as you stood out at second base, breathing hard and brushing the dirt off your pants. and when he'd waved to you, you waved back with so much pride and excitement that he'd felt his heart skip a beat.

he smiles to himself as he turns the corner into his neighborhood, squinting slightly as the air moves in squiggles feet above the pavement. he swears with a shake of his head - he fucking hates the heat, but the double edged sword of baseball season in the summer makes it worth it.

his phone buzzes from where it's placed in his cup holder and he grabs it, smiling at the y/n y/l/n !!!!! that pops up at the top. he rolls his eyes as he answers, remembering the time when you'd called him a psychopath for having your full name in his phone contact, claiming you knew for a fact he somehow didn't know any other y/n's, so you’d added the exclamation points ‘just for flare.’

he answers, "hey, how was the last game?" he asks as he pulls into his driveway. "we lost." you grumble and he hums as he pulls himself out of the car, leaving his bat bag in the trunk since he's got practice tomorrow. "i'm sorry to hear that. d'you want to come over?" he asks casually as he makes his way inside and sighs at the relief of the air conditioning. "yes, yeah. i do." you say and stan smiles down to the ground at your goofiness. as he enters the kitchen he realizes his parents are out, so he asks, "can you bring food?"

you sigh and he can imagine your grin as you say, "god, the shit i do for you, uris. why can't we go together?" you whine. he snorts, "but i have to shower." he tries to reason, but you retort, "i just spend thirteen hours in the heat too, stan, i need to shower as well."

he smiles, walking up the stairs towards his room. "alright, alright. we can go together, just come over and you can shower here."

"did i mention i love you?" you sigh, almost dreamily. stan stops in his tracks, heart stopping and mouth going dry but still grinning as he hears his name yelled by a voice in the background of your line and you hiss back a muffled, "shut up!"

his face is red as he mutters, "yeah, yeah. love you too, y/n/n. i'll see you soon."

your voice echoes in his head as he stares at the tiles of his shower the entire time he's showering. did i mention i love you? as the ice cold water cascades over his sore muscles, relaxing him and breathing energy back into his tired body, he can't get you out of his head.

your voice, your hair, the way you have so much confidence on the field and yet are the sweetest and funniest person he's every met. as his mind wanders, he thanks god that his shower is freezing and he groans, trying to stop imagining his best friend while he's in the shower.

did i mention i love you?

he steps out soon after that, feeling like a bit of a creep. as he ruffles his towel-dry hair, he hears his front door open. opening the door to the bathroom, he's suddenly facing you, clad in your dirty uniform, your visor still on your head and a tired but happy smile on your face. "where's donny and andrea?" you ask and stan shrugs, chuckling a bit at your dumb nickname for his father, "think they had some meeting and went out after." he's not really focused though, because he's aware that he is standing with only a red towel hanging low on his hips as you stand in front of him, your cheeks red and eyes wide, bouncing around him and avoiding eye contact, flustered as you clear your throat.

did i mention i love you?

he grabs his dirty uniform to sweep into the laundry and gets you a fresh towel, gathering clothes for you to change into before residing to his own bedroom. the shower turns on right as he pulls on his shirt and flops back onto his mattress.

he can't get you off his mind, which isn't necessarily a new development, but ever since the heat wave, his mind has been stuck in a loop that's never ending. y/n, baseball, y/n, baseball, y/n, y/n, y/n....

did i mention i love you?

it's hot in his room and he stares at the patterns in his ceiling, lifting a brow as the spots morph in and out of shapes and suddenly it's back to you, your angelic face in his vision and he almost groans. he loves you way too much, he thinks.

he knows every single feature about you; enough so that your face, beautiful and clear as always, appears in his vision and he's fucked because he knows he’s still be able to remember where every feature, mark or blemish on your face is, even when you're not with him.

even though he knows that your relationship is just platonic, he still finds himself imagining his lips exploring the expanse of your neck and he yearns to touch every part of you, to be touched by you. he can't get you out of his mind.

the shower shuts off so he sits up and rubs his eyes - the danger and power the you have over him almost makes him laugh, especially because if you knew half the things he thought about you, you'd probably kill him.

he's smiling dumbly, thinking about the time you and bill got caught sneaking onto the derry golf course and made richie and stan pick you two up, right as you pad into his room.

"i look like a dumbass, stan!" you groan, lifting your arms as you spin a bit, and he almost dies. he has to shake his head to avoid you seeing his blush because you're standing in front of him, wearing his baseball team practice shirt that has his last name on it and his gym shorts, cinched at the waist to keep them on you and neither things fit you very well but he thinks he's going to lose it because his heart feels so warm.

your hair is wet and making the shirt totally wet where the ends of the strands touch, your skin bright from washing off the eyeblack you'd worn all day. he's so lost in the image of you that you have to repeat yourself.

"stan! stop looking at me, oh my god i want to die." you shove your face into your hands and laugh. he shakes his head rid of his stupor and stands from his bed, laying a hand on your shoulder. "you look incredible right now, y/n. let's go, i'm hungry."

he grabs the hoodie he'd insisted you order for him early last year - with your club team's logo on it and a big, white #2 and your last name on the back. he knows it's too hot to actually wear it, but he's going to take it because you always get cold under his car's a/c.

he's not always the best at approaching you in a way that is comforting, but you beam at him as you follow him out towards his car. you're both walking slowly through the hot nighttime air, half because the air is so thick it feels like you're wading, but half from the exhausting day you'd both had.

every muscle in stan's body aches as he pulls himself into the driver's seat, making sure everything was straight and in place. he doesn't even blush when he turns the key twice before starting the ignition, knowing that you don't mind and even show affection towards his compulsions after all this time. his heart thumps at the thought.

"where to?" you yawn as you ask and he can feel your eyes on him as he's leaning back, backing his car out of the driveway. he flushes once again under your beautiful gaze.

stan then finds himself in the back of his trunk at the quarry, the windows still up because you insisted it'd be too hot with the door open. he'd listened to you because you're you - but if it had been bill, or eddie, or ben, or mike or bev or especially richie he would have groaned and complained about how bad it was for his battery to keep the a/c running.

but it was you, so he did it with a smile on his face and a thump in his heart. you're sitting with your knees touching, stomachs full of fries, burgers, and vanilla milkshakes.

you're still working on your milkshake, spooning it into your mouth slowly as you tell stan a story about your day. "-and she slid under the tag - no, don't look at me like that, she was under it! - and the fucking ump called her out." you grumble, glaring into your milkshake. stan just grins, taking in your natural hair and how it's framing your face, the way your legs gleam in the moonlight and showcase the random bruises you have from taking pitches to the legs.

he forgets to respond and you look up at him, lifting a brow. "oh, yeah, i got a few bruises." you mutter, examining your leg yourself. you perk up, "look at this one! it's got stitch marks!" you say enthusiastically, pulling your bare thigh up so it's across stan's lap, scooting closer to him. he gulps, the proximity of you to him making it hard to focus as you run your fingers over the skin.

"shit." he mutters, hingers falling to touch the purple skin that was blossoming in a faint circle, red and purple stitch marks from the softball etching their way onto your skin. "that must've stung." he adds, eyes glued to your bare leg. you hum in agreement and suddenly your eyes are meeting his and he can't breathe at all.

you're closer than he'd expected as you straighten up, leg falling flat against his lap as you stare deep into each other's eyes. yours are swimming with wonder as you watch him, and he almost jumps when your hand lands on his shoulder. "what're you thinking? you're in your head a lot tonight, stan." you say gently, with all the care in the world and he doesn't really feel the usual twinge of guilt he feels for being more reserved than usual - instead he just feels like he may explode if he doesn't just tell you.

"y/n." he says it so quietly that all he can hear is the first part of your name. "uh-i... uh, maybe it's the heat wave, but..." he shakes his head, knowing that excuse with not work. you're too smart to believe a fib that simple. he sighs.

"no. no, i just- sometimes all that i think about is you." he says, his hand falling to rub over your bare thigh. he feels your muscles tense under his palm and he searches your eyes, his stomach tying itself into knots of anxiety as he waits patiently.

"what-what do you mean?" you ask softly, eyes flickering between his and he bites his lips, looking out to the quarry quickly before looking at you. he thinks about the days you've spent together with the others down at the water, all the drunken nights where you find your way to the clubhouse you'd all built in middle school.

he thinks about how you always, always make it to his games when you're not also playing; how you always sit at the far top right of the bleachers and scream his name loud enough that he can hear you even when he's way out in center field, how you always wear his away uniform jersey and give it back to him with a hug after the games. he thinks about all the hours the two of you have spent together at derry's batting cages, competitively keeping tallies of how many line drives you can each hit.

"stan?" you ask again softly, biting your lip. "i think about you too." you tell him, and he shakes his head, knowing that you aren't totally understanding him (but that's definitely not your fault).

"i think i love you."

he says it louder than intended, and it slices through the midnight air in a way that makes the world stagnant. he swears, even the frogs stop croaking, the cicadas stop buzzing, the wind stops blowing through the leaves in the forest.

"like... like you love me?" you ask, your leg still across his lap, hand still on his shoulder reassuring him that you at least weren't completely disgusted by his admission.

"like i'm in love with you." he reiterates, looking straight into your apprehensive eyes as he says it. it takes barely a split second before you're smiling at him in a grin that knocks the wind right out of stan's chest again.

"what made you decide that?" you ask with a huge, breathtakingly sweet smile as your hands slide to hold his neck. he huffs a laugh, unsure still, "dunno. lots of things - everything about you, really." he mumbles, feeling slightly stupid but still incredibly giddy as you lean closer.

"well i'm in love with you, stan." you say, lips ghosting over his. he grins, the feeling of you so close to him making his fingers tingle as one hand stays on your thigh, the other falling to your hip.

he can't speak, so instead he closes the gap. your lips are warm against him - your whole body is - as you come to life, kissing him like you've been doing it your whole life. you whimper lightly and it makes him sigh with pleasure, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, tasting the vanilla of your milkshake on your tongue.

slowly, you slide onto his lap and his hands move up your back, pulling you impossibly closer to him, his tongue swiping against your plush lips. you're straddling him, cupping his jaw with both hands as you accept his tongue, yours caressing his sweetly and he wonders why you haven't been doing this your whole life.

he pushes against you, pulling you closer to him as you pull back for breath. "i've wanted to do that for so long." you mutter lowly as his lips immediately attach to the soft expanse of your skin, his fingers tickling down your bare thighs. he grins as he feels goosebumps form under his palms, biting down and sucking the soft skin on your throat, eliciting a moan from you.

he pulls back a bit, "me too." he says, lips peppering kisses all the way up to your lips and catching them again, your hand sliding into his har and tugging on the strands.

you slowly grind against him and he groans at the feeling of you around him, the pleasure making his mind fuzzy as all he can think about it you.

and then he’s dying because you’re trailing a hand down to palm him through his pants and all he can do is groan a bit against your chest and look at you because holy shit.

you slide off his lap and down on to your knees in the small space between his legs, watching him with those beautiful doe eyes as you slide down his shorts slowly.

he’s watching, lip caught between his teeth as you pull him free from where he strains against his boxers, licking your lips and pumping his base a few times. he grunts as your hand moves, the feeling making him twitch in pleasure. his cock is dripping precum and you slowly reach your tongue out, swirling around his tip. he lets out a dejected moan and grips your shoulders as you slowly take him into your mouth, wet and warm and perfect.”good girl.” he mutters quietly through his bliss and he notices how you flush under the praise, your tongue flattening as you take him further in.

as you bob your head down and try to take as much of him as you can, you look up through your lashes to watch him, the eye contact making his legs weak.

his lips are parted, watching as you suck him off as his hips twitch, hands playing with your hair through his pleasure. "fuck, y/n..." he moans as you start to bob your head quicker, lifting one of your hands to grab his own. he lets you guide his hand to the back of your head and you gently put pressure on it.

he thinks he might faint as he realizes what you want. slowly, he pushes you further down on his cock and he gasps at the tight feeling of you gagging around him.

he groans, “you like that, hm?” quietly as you whimper around his cock, the vibrations nearing him to his high. “holy shit.” he mutters to himself as he moves your head, the lewd noises of his cock in your mouth and his moans filling up the car.

you take him as far into your mouth as you can and he feels you try to relax as he gently pushes you further down on his cock until he hits the back of your throat. you moan, the vibrations pushing him to the edge as his hips buck up slightly.

you choke and pull off of him, catching your breath as you make eye contact, “being so good for me.” he mutters, his eyes glazed over as he watches you pump him. you smile, cheeks pink from the praise and he almost swoons with how fucking perfect you look.

he lets out a low moan at your warm mouth taking him in, bobbing up and down. his hands push you down onto him again and he holds you there while he gently thrusts up, your hands on his thighs. he tilts his head back, eyes squeezing shut in pure bliss.

its only a few seconds and he barely gets out a, "fuck, y/n, i'm gonna-" before he's spilling into your mouth. to his surprise, you moan around him and slowly lick him up and swallow, looking up at him with a tired smile.

“holy shit.” he says yet again, staring at you as you pull his shorts back up and bite your lip. he pulls you into a kiss and he can taste himself on your lips, making his stomach flip.

"date me." he says quickly as he pulls back, his cheeks flushed from the taste of you on his tongue and the post-orgasmic bliss. you pull back, grinning. "well you don't have to be so polite about it." your voice sounds fucked-out and kind of raw and he’s certainly a dead man.

he chuckles, rolling his eyes at your sarcastic tone. he loves you so fucking much. "fine. y/n, please be my girlfriend. i want to be your boyfriend, i want us to date. please, will you go out with me?" his voice is dead-pan, but he's serious about it, and you can tell by his boyish grin.

you laugh, shaking your head. "god, was that so hard?" you ask, your hands rubbing over his chest, where his muscles tense in soreness. he then realizes you're still straddling him and how fucking sore you must be. he pulls you closer.

and then you pull him in for another kiss, both of your teeth clashing slightly from your grins. you didn't even explicitly say yes, stan wants to say, but instead he mutters, "did i mention i love you?"

you smile, cheeks red. “you might have mentioned it.” you say bashfully. he grins, kissing your cheek sweetly, hand running up your thigh slowly. “can i taste you, babylove?” he mumbles against your skin and he feels you shiver as you let out a quiet moan.

you grin, kissing him on the lips, “why dont we go back to your place...can i stay the night?” you ask, cheeks aflame as you look at him. “i want to take our time.” you add.

it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen and he nods, grinning at you. “fuck- yes, yes you can. of course.” he says, smiling at you. you kiss him heatedly, grinning as you pull back and lean over to crawl back to the passenger seat. stan slaps your ass lightly as you do and you squeal, grinning back at him with a lifted brow, “c’mon, uris. you’re scoring tonight.”

he rolls his eyes at your cheesy words and groans a bit, but he can’t ignore the butterflies that thrash in his chest nonetheless.

you love him.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs

#stanley uris x reader #losers x reader #requests #i love stanley uris #losers club x reader #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier smut #bill denbrough x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #eddie kaspbrak smut #bill denbrough

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neocityarchive · 5 years ago

Text

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head.

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out.

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech.

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again.

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise.

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next.

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard.

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?”

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang.

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close.

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him.

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak.

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You: i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question.

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so.

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed. “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked.

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it.

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

#y/n is a clown here read at your own risk #BUT PLS ENJOY CAUSE I DID #dhjdkjfhdfk i should stop writing about mark #nct au #nct imagines #mark lee imagines #mark lee #nct mark au #nct prompts #nct blurbs #soft nct hours #sad nct hours #nct fluff au #nct angst au #nct dream au #nct 127 au

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elliethesuperfruitlover · 4 years ago

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It’s Okay

A/N: I’m writing a self-indulgent fic due to fact that I’m feeling ✨ insecure and ugly ✨Yes this is me projecting. I like Heaven’s Design Team, and Unabara is one of my comfort characters, and he’s also v tall, and he looks like a good hugger. So why not write him being the fluffy being that he is.

Warnings: once again another breakdown, body image talk, mild nsfw mentions, mention of panic attacks

Tag List (even tho i know none of y’all dont know the show but shh): @misskittysmagicportal, @bisexualnathanyoung, @super-unpredictable98, @joz-stankovich, @hufflepuffheroine, @ghouls-buddy, @magic-multicolored-miracle, @seancekitsch, @the-freckled-luba, @neuroticpuppy

“What’s wrong?” Neptune asks, seeing you curled up on the corner of the bed, hands covering your face. He’d just come in from another day of work with the team. They were working on an animal that’s seen and heard from far away. It’d been going okay, and they were making a lot of progress.

You’d been denying him an answer to how you were feeling all day. Yes, he deserves to know. But something told you that you were being a burden. And that he didn’t need to hear your issues. He has a lot on his plate. And you didn’t want to stress the poor thing out. It’d only add fuel to your emotional fire. So you bottled it up. Seemed to be working just fine. Nothing a little forgetting can fix. You were really struggling. You can’t tell anyone how you feel, or else they may think it’s their job to help you. And it’s not. It never is. But they do it somehow. You’d always felt like a burden, maybe it was due to how everything in the past had worked out for you (horribly). Or maybe it was just due to your extreme anxiety issues, as well as being atrocious at keeping friends. They always left. And never came back. And somehow, that mean-spirited little voice always said it’s your fault. You’re the catalyst. You’re why everything falls apart around you. You’re the reason everyone’s stressed and upset. So that’s your philosophy. How’s that been working out, huh?

“I’m tired. And I’m upset for no reason. I’m also not feeling the most confident. But I can’t really remember a time where I did feel good about my appearance. I just straight up think I’m ugly. ” you mutter, tears forming in your eyes.

You’d been waiting for your body to finally cave in and let you cry. Weeks of missed panic attacks. Days without breaking down. First it seemed fine. Then the fatigue set in. So did the muscle aches. And feeling like sitting in the corner for the entire day. Thinking of what you could be doing. And shaming yourself for not being able to make a full meal. It was just so much all of the time. Everyone has their limits, but those also change. People grow. Somehow, though, it seemed that you were left out. And that everyone seemed to be doing just fine. Except for you, of course.

“Well, it’s fine to be upset, or tired. And I’ve mentioned that if you need help sleeping, I’m glad to help you. Be it cuddling or simply letting you be. But the latter part is where I find the issue. Your appearance is fine. But I know people can see each other differently.” he whispers, sitting down near you, but it seems as if he wasn’t close enough.

“Well, I honestly don’t know how you manage to call me cute sometimes. I really don’t see it. Never have.” you state, falling back completely onto the bed, arms spread out.

“I only say it because it’s the truth. If I think you look cute, or nice, I’ll tell you. There’s no use in me lying. What is this stemming from?” he asks, putting his hand on yours.

“I saw some of my old classmates from school and just....how? How do I equal to them? I feel like everyone’s moving on, and looking good. And feeling confident. But I just can’t seem to.” you say. Your eyes floating to a specific spot on the ceiling that looked like a snowman, and you thought about it for a while.

“Everyone’s different. And I think you look perfectly fine. And some people may just be feeling better. It doesn’t make you any worse.” he replies softly, twisting to face your flat form on the bed.

“Yeah, but I fucking hate everything about myself. Every time I seem to have something good, that dumbass voice comes back and I’m right back here again. I love my hair, then it’s a burden and I want to get rid of it. I look nice in these jeans, then I think I should lose the weight so they aren’t as tight. What the fuck is wrong with me?” you ask, tears finally falling onto the comforter.

“Aw, come here.” he says, laying down so he can look you at you closer. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Sure, you have anxiety, and yes, you have intrusive thoughts, but that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. And it doesn’t make you any less attractive.” Unabara whispers, holding you close.

You begin sobbing into his chest, and your hands grasp at his sweater, trying to find something to hold onto before you fall from whatever was keeping you above the water. Dark, deep waters. Every part of you wants to scream, but you can’t seem to get that giant bubble from your chest. Neptune’s hand gently moves up and down your back, and you gasp for air as wave after wave of feeling go through you. It’s like you never get a break as tears fall repeatedly down your face, drowning you in a weird way. Your chest heaves as you wrap around Neptune, face hidden in his neck to get away from the reality of him seeing you like this. Vulnerable, and some would consider it torn to the ground. Somehow by your own feelings, you’d been torn to the ground and for what? Feelings were supposed to tell you what’s going on, not ponder if every person you’d met in your entire life was offended by you, and if they were it was always your fault. Never anyone else’s, always yours. That’s not true, but somehow you’d managed to get it engrained in your skull do much that no lobotomy would help.

They never seemed to leave you be, it seemed. One moment everything’s fine and it’s all good and the next you’re on the floor again, wondering whether or not you should’ve said this, or that. Or said these things, or even simply existed in their presence. You had done nothing wrong, yet only the most harsh and cruel punishments were reserved for you with your name in bold, bright letters. Nothing could help you at this point. Not the warmest, and most inviting of baths, or the coldest bowl of ice water to dip your head in, disrupting you from the shaking you’d been experiencing. Even his strong arms couldn’t help as you trembled in his grip. You hadn’t even noticed that his eyes were closed, almost as if he was trying to forego tears. See look what you’re doing to him. You thought, but it was shut down as he opened his eyes, and looked directly at you. Throwing you off for a moment before you went back to dreading everything about yourself once more. Except the hiccups were subsiding, and the feeling in your fingers and toes had begun to come back. Unabara’s head was tilted onto yours, and you matched your breathing to his, calming down somewhat.

“Can you do something really quickly for me...please?” he whispered, deep voice echoing in your mind. You gently nodded, and he moved to get up as you still sat on the bed, the ends of your jacket crumpled and partially wet.

“You don’t have to do this, but I’m going to go from your feet to your head. List what you don’t like about the body part.” he said, and you nodded once more as he gently nudged your foot, looking at you to engage.

You thought for a moment and replied in a quiet voice, rough from the tears.

“I don’t like how big my feet are. Sure, it may be fine with dancing, and it’s not that noticeable. But shoes my size are upwards of 70 dollars.” you reply, fiddling with your hands.

“Mm, I think they’re fine. I like the fact that we can share shoes sometimes. It’s more space for other things. Legs?”

“They’re oddly shaped. And they’re discolored too.” you stutter out, feeling goosebumps tickle your skin as his hands gently moved up your form.

“I think they’re quite lovely. And you’ve got quite a kick. Strong too. You can fit in more odd positions, may look uncomfortable. But you always manage somehow.” he says, kissing the top of your knee.

It went on like that for a while, with you talking about how you hated the fact that your thighs don’t match in color to how the divots in your hip made you feel like you should look different elsewhere. When one part of the body was talked over, you both removed a piece of clothing, the same for each person. Somehow you’d even managed to mention that you didn’t like the fact that your stretch marks could be seen with a simple flick of a waistband. And only he got to see the secret ones. Hidden from many views. Eventually, it got to the point where you were mostly nude in front of Neptune. His eyes averted from where some would be looking most. When his eyes did, however, drifted southwards, it wasn’t one of sexual thought.

“What about here?” he gently asked, hands landing on your hips.

“I don’t think I can complain about her. So much to learn. And so many feelings, good and bad. But none to blame.” you mutter, gasping as a skilled finger made its way to where you seemed to want it most.

“I think it’s wonderful. And not in the “I think vaginas are nice because I only think of it in a sexual manner way. I think they’re neat. And there’s a lot to learn, and much more to unlearn as well. I always like how you feel on the precipice of orgasm. Almost like a vice, but not one that I’d be upset about. You’re usually the most vocal, pillow over your face, or face pressed into my shoulder. Then, you’re there. And I’m there, or close enough. You just look so peaceful and emotional in the most wonderful of ways. You’re not worried about how you look. Or how your hair looks spread across the sheets unevenly. You just feel everything at once. And I find that so amazing.” he whispers into your ear, and it took everything in you not to take him right then and there.

Unabara didn’t give you a quickie that night. Or the ol’ suck and fuck. He took his time, even after you cried on his shoulder. And admitted your flaws to him. He made sure you were fine every step of the way. Holding your hand. Breathing into your neck as to not overstimulate his own ears. He even took the time to kiss over every last mark and scar from childhood on your legs before eating you out. I mean, yeah, you were ready to shove his entire face in your vagina. But the sheer amount of effort he went through to make sure that you were comfortable, and happy (in that moment at least). It honestly could push you to tears. How could someone care so much about another? They’d go through hours of love and appreciation, just to see you smile, or almost wake up the neighbors.

Tears fell down your face once more that night as you cuddled into Neptune’s chest. You listened to his heartbeat as his hands lay once more on your back. He looked at you with so much love and support. And you couldn’t help but crack under that pressure. Pressure to reciprocate. You always did. Somehow. Even in those moments where you pondered researching panic methods just to feel some relief. But you made it. And he found you worthy. Then slowly, slowly, you found yourself worthy as well.

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whimsicalbumblebee · 3 years ago

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86 posts created (4%)

2343 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 27.2 posts.

I added 986 tags in 2021

#13 sentinels: aegis rim - 298 posts

#aa - 150 posts

#kh - 111 posts

#omori - 98 posts

#twewy - 76 posts

#reblog from artblog - 73 posts

#bee buzzes - 62 posts

#deltarune - 46 posts

#apollo justice - 37 posts

#deltarune spoilers - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i dont know how old they are in r;n dash but like? by all means kurisu and okabe should have developed more of an undetstanding and a proper

My Top Posts in 2021

This just hit me while rewatching episode 5 about how Neku and Joshua had to open a wall to get to Udagawa but somehow all these players were already there.

Thanks to @ gramoturtle too for pushing this thought process!

Major Spoilers for the game are under the cut!!

The game makes it clear that where you wake up isn't consistent. The anime kinda makes it clear but not quite as much since they usually wake up in Scramble Crossing or by Hachiko.

However I always assumed all the players would wake up in the same spot. That... doesn't seem to be the case, even in the game.

Firstly I think Minamimoto, for obvious game spoilery reasons pf wanting to be Composer, is singling out Neku and Joshua. Particularly Joshua. But at the same time, needs to get rid of the other players.

If the Game Master has control over where players wake up, I can imagine that's exactly why Neku and Joshua woke up far from Udagawa with a level three wall separating their path to that part of the city while also putting every other player within that area prone to taboo noise attacks.

Its basically an execution of players. He doesn't care about them, just his own goal of getting to Joshua.

The game also implies the reapers have some semblance of control over where the players wake up so this doesn't seem like an 'anime only' thing.

Two points I can think off the bat. Week 1, Day 3 I think, Neku and Shiki wake up in the dark concert hall. There are still players besides them, notably Beat and Rhyme but they don't seem to have woken up in the same spot, implying not all players awake in the same parts of the city.

Second, in week 3 with Beat, when they wake up in the Underpass by Miyashita park, this was an intentional awakening point by Kariya to intentionally stir up memories of Beat's death. Its where Beat is forced to remember his motives and how he failed to protect Rhyme. As for the reason other than plot? I'm not sure why Kariya wanted to do that. He doesn't seem clear in his motives either though and that's another can of worms.

TL;DR. My guess is that Minamimoto intentionally isolated Joshua and Neku from the other players so that he can erase all of them but those two.

16 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 04:16:35 GMT

13 Sentinels and their Love Languages

This is really just my take on how each of these characters most strongly express their love platonically and otherwise! ^^ I’ll put explanations in a reblog once I actually finish!

Acts of service:

Megumi Yakushiji

Ei Sekigahara

Ryoko Shinonome Gift giving:

Nenji Ogata

Tsukasa Okino

Tamao Kurabe Quality time:

Iori Fuyusaka

Tomi Kisaragi

Yuki Takamiya Words of affirmation:

Takatoshi Hijiyama

Keitaro Miura

Shu Amiguchi Physical touch:

Juro Kurabe

Natsuno Minami

Renya Gouto

This may change over time as I’m still working on the explanations!

20 notes • Posted 2021-03-29 02:41:34 GMT

OMORI KH AU MASTERPOST

This will be updated overtime but here here is the Masterpost for everything related to the AU!

I don't write it in order but I will probably try to make it as cohesive as possible!

General gist of the Story (Intro post to the AU)

The Characters + Designs:

Sunny and Mari

Character Details (no designs) (Hero, Aubrey, Kel, Basil)

Aubrey

Basil

Kel

Hero

Prequel

Sunny acquiring the Keyblade + First meeting with everyone

The Accident:

The Accident and aftermath (+ art of The Accident)

Basil's reaction (also general comments + Mari and Sunny's beta designs)

Post Accident Adventure:

Basil and Omori

26 notes • Posted 2021-07-15 01:34:24 GMT

Happy White Day 03/14! READ RIGHT TO LEFT!

Here’s an idea I had yesterday! I thought it was a cute idea to have the guys ask Megumi help in making chocolate gifts, esp since her cooking is known to be really good! ^^

Bonus Hijiyama and Okino:

31 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 03:38:20 GMT

TWEWY EPISODE 5 in a nutshell

33 notes • Posted 2021-05-08 03:56:45 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#^^;#welp it makes sense my main blog has more reblogs-

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 5 years ago

Text

Humans are Space Orcs, “All Wrong.”

Didn’t know what to write today, so just let my fingers do the walking. it got very interesting very quickly. I suppose a warning about some of the behavior in here which is kind of rude and aggressive, dont worry I have and arc and an explanation for all this

Hovercraft roared everhead.

Neon lights glowed all around them from 100 different places casting their skin and bodies into a glowing patchwork. Shadows passed over them as the crowd surged up and through the street throwing them into momentary darkness before passing over.

Ramirez walked next to the commander, the two of them talking quietly, but loud enough to be mostly heard over the roar f the crowd.

“I don't know, I just feel like I’m filing them somehow.”

Ramirez placed a hand on his shoulder, glancing back at Sunny who walked at their heels glancing over her shoulder every now and again as if she expected them to be followed.

“You’re not failing.”

“But did you see the way they looked at me?”

“Adam, you know you were never really all that good about taking care of the spiderlings. They had no discipline, no education, and because of how busy you were they didn’t exactly have much of a father anyway.”

He sighed and dropped his head.

Ramirez clapped him on the shoulder again, “You are literally the only person on the ship was even allowed to have their…. Uh…. kids. No one would be able to work properly under such conditions. Besides, Eris is going to take good care of them. You saw the place she has “

Adam grunted, “Yeah, it is pretty nice.”

“And now they have friends.”

“That is true.”

“Someone who understands.”

“Yeah yeah, ok you’re right. I guess I am just feeling a little guilty is all.”

Ramirez sighed, “You know, this is what gets you in trouble, the part of your brain that makes you feel guilty for not doing literally everything.”

He sighed, “I know, sometimes I wish I could just get rid of it.”

Sunny snorted, “You already have enough of your brain missing as it is, no need to go removing more of it.”

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious.”

“Where are you going anyway.” Ramirez wondered as they turned down another long alley.

“Well I was thinking why not visit some old friends while we’re here.”

He exchanged a look with sunny, and she nodded in agreement.

He glanced at Ramirez, “Also, I am technically off duty, so I was thinking a few drinks were in order.

“Yeah, before we do that, I need to find somewhere to take a leak.”

“Can’t you just find an alley for that.”

Ramirez frowned, “Remember, I am a human and all my waste products are biological warfare. It’ll just take a second; I think I see a sign up ahead.”

Adam waited outside as Ramirez and Sunny vanished for a few minutes.

Looking up, he could just make up the night sky through the tops of the buildings and past the hover cars which streaked past on every second.

The dim blue glow of Noctopolis was a soothing one, though the city itself was something you had to watch out for.

A rattle behind him, and he turned hand hovering over his weapon.

The dark maw of an alley was open before him, and with his vision assailed by bright whit light, he was having trouble seeing into the darkness. Something else rattled and he took a step forward.

No, what the hell was he doing? He was like one of those dumbasses in a horror movie that you yell at the screen to stop being an idiot.

He paused staring into the alley the light still blinding him from either side.

As he stared, he thought he saw a shape step forward from the darkness. It was only a silhouette, though the shape was no one he recognized. It was tall, almost as tall as sunny, and when it moved, it moved very quietly.

He unclipped the back of his holster with one hand, “What do you want?” he challenged into the darkness.

The creature took a step forward.

***

Ramirez rubbed his palms together trying to get the sticky sort of jell to cooperate as the pungent smell of rubbing alcohol rose up into his face. He shouldered open the door and stepped out onto the street, turning for a moment and looking around. At first, he frowned with no Adam in sight. Sunny came walking around the corner head snapping this way and that as if she too was having the same problem.

“Where is….”

“I don’t know.”

Together they walked a little further onto the street Sunny looking high and Ramirez looking low.

The dark alley across the street caught his eye, and he took a few steps forward past the light and into the blackness .he blinked to let his eyes adjust, and just as he did a black form came swimming into his vision. It was only a few years into the alley, a dark figure hunched over another form.

Something shiny glittered in the creature’s hand reaching down and encasing the head of the person lying prone on the ground.

Ramirez stepped forward “Hey!” Pulling his weapon.

The dark figure jolted upright, and with a sudden flurry of fabric it was gone.

Ramirez rushed forward throwing himself to his knees next to the commander who lay sprawled on his back in the alley. The metal device he had seen was gone from his head, but little circles still indented the skin where the thing had made contact. Two on either side of his temples one pair on his cheeks just below the eye.

Sunny came rushing into the alley after him brandishing her spear, “What happened!” Seeing nothing she threw herself down next to Ramirez.

The marine checked the commander’s pulse and found it to b strong and regular, “I don’t know I found him like this with something crouching over him.”

“What are those circles.”

“I have no idea.”

Just at that moment the Commander’s eyes opened, and he sat up looking around them confused and groggy one hand to his head, “What…. Happened .”

Ramirez knelt in front of his friend, “Are you ok? What happened?”

He rubbed above his eyes, “Not sure. But.” he looked down at himself, “Nothing’s stolen, so I guess I’m ok.”

He grabbed Ramirez by the shoulder and hauled himself to his feet dusting off the front and back of his jacket.”

He smiled at sunny, who tilted her head in confusion as he walked form the alley Ramirez trailing behind.

“Are you sure you’re ok.”

“Fine.” He snapped, “Now let it go alright.”

“I’m just.”

“Yeah worried, I got that, but nothing we can do now.” He continued walking.

Ahead of them, another group of humans was approaching up the alley. They were young about the same age as the Commander and Ramirez if not a bit younger, and they were covered in glow sticks and glitter paint as if they had just come back from a rave.

As they passed, a few of the girls smiled at him and Ramirez.

Ramirez smiled back with some interest, but turned back around to worry over the commander. When he did he was surprised to find the man had turned walking backwards now with his eyes on the receding figures.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.”

Ramirez frowned as the commander turned back forward and kept walking, “Are you sure you’re ok.”

The captain held up a hand and made the universal sign for talking too much opening and closing his hand like a mouth.

Ramirez frowned.

Sunny glanced at him.

“Now lets go get drunk. OR I’m going to get drunk, you guys can do whatever the hell you want.”

They took a turn at the street ahead , and Sunny continued to follow after confused. It was about halfway down the next street where they reached their destination. There was loud music and groups of humans hanging on outside.

Ramirez and sunny followed closely after.

A few figures were blocking the door, and it was as if the Commander hadn’t seen them, or perhaps that he had, he shouldered one of them to the side and practically knocked the other one off their feet as he passed.

The man spilled his drink all down his front, “Hey dude what the hell.”

The commander waved a back hand at him, “yeah I don’t give a shit.” Shouldering his way through the open door.

Ramirez and sunny exchanged another look but followed after with some haste.

The room was packed, and it was hard to find the commander at first.

But they spotted him seconds later a few meters in.

He was smiling at some girl by the wall, and she was blushing and smiling back.

Ramirez watched the other man’s eyes move down and then back up.

He frowned against, at his side Sunny had gone very very stiff.

“Something is wrong with him.” They both announced at once

The commander slipped through the bar shouldering aside another group of girls who staggered, “Hey! One of them protested. He turned to look at her eyebrow raised. He looked her up and down, “N.” he said before turning back to the bar aggressively waving down the bartender who looked a little less than happy about it, “Whiskey, dry, and make that quick would you.”

The bartender looked about ready to spit in his drink but made it anyway. Adam rolled his eyes paying but giving no tip. The bartender’s lips tightened.

Ramirez went forward reaching out a hand to stop the man who slipped form his fingers last second and moved off across the room.

The next time he caught sight of hi the commander had slid into a seat on the opposite wall.

Beside hi sat a beautiful woman, she was tall with short colored hair and ivory skin. As they talked their legs were practically touching and occasionally his hand would go up to brush the small of her back. She leaned forward resting a hand high on the thigh of his left leg.

He leaned in a little, and so did she.

Ramirez turned sensing a shape behind him. Sunny loomed over his shoulder.

Glass shattered, orange icor dripped down her hand and forearm though she did not look away.

Ramirez turned to look, the two of them were very clsoe now.

He had to do something.

He hurried across the room grabbing an unattended drink from a side table and tripping last second spilling red liquid all down the side of the woman’s dress.

She gasped and the two of them looked at Ramirez in horror.

She stood and a second later Ramirez was blinking liquid from his eyes as she stormed off.

“What the fuck Ramirez. Adam snarled, “I almost had her.”

He wiped alcohol from his face frowning and shaking it off, “The hell is wrong with you.” He demanded angrily.

Looking into the commander’s face, he saw an expression there he had never seen. The kind of anger you get from men who know how special they are, “Look if you were jealous you could have just said something.”

Ramirez frowned, “Wha-”

One green eye met his.

Adam leaned back against the table giving him that same strange look he had given before. One corner of his mouth pulled up in a half smirk as he returned to meet his eyes, “What do you say marine?”

Ramirez’s jaw almost hit the floor. What the actual fuck.

“A-a… are you…. Hitting on me?” He finished incredulously. This wasn’t right in so many ways. First and foremost, the commander had never hit on anyone in his life, and that was a fact. Second if he did, he wouldn't be so obvious about it, third they were friends and there has never been anything between them ever and there never would be. Fourth adam had such a guilty conscience, it would take him forever to justify being interested in an underling much less openly flirt with someone in such an aggressive manner.

Fifth…. Well fifth he had a thing for someone else already and Adam was too loyal to go and behave like this.

Lastly Adam was definitely NOT his type, yeah sure he was good-looking and all but Ramirez preferred someone a little more type A.

The commander leaned back in his seat, “You just gonna stand there, or….”

“Something is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean something is wrong with me?”

“I mean you’re acting all wrong.”

Adam rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling, “Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean you never talk like this. Something is up with you and we have to get you back to the ship.”

“Come a little closer and maybe I’ll stop talking.”

Ramirez frowned completely convinced, “Alright that’s it.” He grabbed adam by the arm and hauled him upright to protests.

“Get off me Ramirez!” he snarled.

“No.”

It was right then that Adam took a swing at him. It was a good thing he had fast reflexes or that might have knocked him right out. He ducked under the punch, but unluckily for him it connected behind him, and there was a sudden roar of pain.

A large bearded man turned to glower at them toeing right up with Adam, who, while tall enough, was definitely not as broad.

“You got a problem.”

“Fuck off.” Adam snarled

And before Ramirez could do anything it turned into a full out brawl.

He had never seen the commander fight like that, and was now well aware that the man tended to pull his punches. He had no idea where he had learned to fight like that, but the other guy never had a chance.

It was only when Sunny came in, grabbing the man around the middle and pinning his arms to his side did anyone manage to stop him. By then the entire bar was chaos, and they just barely made it out as things were only escalating.

Adam was squirming and cursing violently.

Sunny was stone faced.

“I think whatever that thing was in the alley did something to him.” Ramirez said forcing Adam to sit down and taking a look at his one human eye.

The man tried to push him off, but sunny kept him still.

“Testosterone much.” Ramirez breathed.

“Or every inhibition he’s ever had completely out the window.” She snarled

“Come on we have to get him back to the ship, and back to krill before whatever this is gets worse.”

Agreed she said hauling Adam to his feet, who was marginally calmed down now. Ramirez took the lead and Adam looked up at her. Something about the expression in his face was wrong, in a way that almost made him look like a different person. He smiled at her in a very strange way, and behind Ramirez’s back she could feel as his hand slid into place against hers, five fingers winding around her four.

She…. was not sure about that at all.

Whatever this thing was, it wasn’t Adam, but she kept quiet hoping that it would contain him long enough.

At one point halfway there the hand slid from hers, and she felt it wrap around her waist from side pulling her closer. Her skin tingled against the warmth of his hand, and she forced herself to remember that this wasn’t him.

This wasn’t her Adam

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sunshinecrashed · 4 years ago

Text

IF ONLY

minamoto teru x reader

@tokoyamis-luv requested: okay IDK if you do angst to fluff (i’m sorry if you don’t) but maybe reader hides that she can see supernaturals and she’s recently been dating teru. one day she’s waiting for him after school and he’s taking some time, so she’s goes and looks for him, only to find him attempting to exorcise hanako maybe? or a supernatural idk- (teru thinks it’s okay bc she supposedly can’t see supernaturals) BUT SHES SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED and is very sad you know? since he’s a sweetheart 1) SORRY

2) i forgot what part i was in whoops anyways so he notices she can see supernaturals and shes ofc very shocked and sad but he goes to her house and talks to her and apologizes and it ends up more light-hearted and cute and fluff (he’s also taken in consideration koi’s feeling towards exorcising) you DONT HAVE TO DO THIS REQUEST!! IM SORRY I ALREADY ASKED U ONE LIKE YESTERDAY OR SMTH (also if you can could this be a scenario? you are AMAZING at them) THANK U 🥺💓💓

word count: ~1,400+

summary: you try and stop teru from exorcising hanako; but you haven’t told him that you can see supernaturals.

warnings: slight angst with a happy ending, attempted exorcism of hanako

a/n: ok first i wanna say that zara (can i call u that?) u are SO KIND omg i don’t mind taking ur requests at all, i eat that shit up lmfao. and 2nd its like 1am lol im sorry if this turned out shitty ;-;

• ﹒• ° ˚ ° ⋆ ✧ ✧ ✧ ⋆ ° ˚ ° •﹒ •

It’s not easy hiding the fact that you can see supernaturals from your boyfriend.

Who is literally an exorcist.

When you both started dating, you agreed that no secrets would be hidden between you two, but if Teru knew that you could see supernaturals... things would get complicated very quickly.

Every time you passed the bathroom and saw Hanako in there while other people were around, you turned a blind eye.

Every time the Mokke try to give you a sweet from the classroom window sill, you averted your gaze.

It pained you to ignore the supernaturals that you have seen all of your life, but you simply just couldn’t risk how Teru would react if he knew that you interacted with them. You were very aware about Teru’s opinions on ghosts and supernaturals, especially about Hanako-kun.

Right now, you were walking with your boyfriend to your next class, chatting.

“Are we still down for getting lunch after school?” you asked curiously.

You could tell that he was already almost drooling at the thought of trying out the new cafe in town. “For sure. You know where to find me once school is out, right?”

Poking him in the arm affectionately, you said, “Under the tree in front of the school. We meet there every day, dummy.”

“I know, I know. I’ll meet you there as soon as I can, and then we can taste test their pastries.” He smiled at you. You let out a little ‘yess!’ as you linked pinkies with him.

Standing on your tippy toes, you pressed a tiny kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be waiting! Go ace the test that you were talking about!” you cheered.

Teru laughed and watched your form turn the corner, a fond look in his eyes.

He made a mental note to be quick while he got rid of that pesky ghost Hanako.

- - -

As you stood under the tree in front of the school, you worriedly glanced at your phone.

‘He’s already fifteen minutes late.. that’s longer then last time.’

You pondered on whether or not you should send him a quick text, your finger hovering over the send button.

you: hey, everything alright? those pastries aren’t going to eat themselves 😳👀

Sent.

‘Maybe he was just finishing up his test?’

But that didn’t make sense to you either. Your boyfriend was a straight-A student, who somehow always turned in his assignments first while getting perfect scores almost every time.

You couldn’t help the nagging feeling in the back of your mind, that... the supernaturals had something to do with his absence.

With your mind made up, you hurriedly placed your phone back in your pocket and made your way back into the school.

Peeking into all of his classes, you found that they were all empty, with the students and teachers having already packed their things up. The only exception was Tsuchigomori-sensei, who only quirked an eyebrow at you as you quickly stammered an apology for disturbing him.

The only place left to go was.. the rooftop.

As you climbed the stairs leading to the very top of the building, you could feel energy growing in the air, similar to electricity.

‘Shit, he couldn’t be--!’

Your hand flew to the rooftop door handle, revealing the very scene that you had dreaded the most.

“Teru!” You tried to yell over the crackling of lightning. But he couldn’t hear you with his back turned to you; all of his attention was on Hanako, who was currently speared to the ground by your boyfriend’s sword.

Even from a distance, Hanako’s struggling screams still rang in your ears, shattering your heart.

You couldn’t let him do this. You couldn’t let him harm a ghost just for being a ghost, who hasn’t caused any harm to the students.

“You supernaturals are all the same. Even if you promise not to hurt anyone, who says that your rumors won’t change? What will you do when you finally end up killing another person? It’s my job to stop that from happening--”

Tears welled into your eyes as you ran forward, wrapping your arms around him from behind.

“Teru, you need to stop this!” you begged.

For a moment, the lightning stopped and Teru tensed up.

“[Name]? What are you doing here?!” He whipped around to face you, shock written all over his face.

His eyes darted from you to the supernatural he had pinned to the ground. “Wait. You can see him?”

You looked away. “...We can talk about that later. But right now, can you please let go of him?”

“You know I can’t do that, [Name].” He said softly. “It’s for your own safety.”

Taking a deep breath to collect yourself, you said “Wait, Hanako hasn’t harmed anyone,” Teru opened his mouth to respond to that, but you continued. “Let’s talk about this somewhere else, and after that, you can decide if you still want to go through with exorcising him, okay?”

Your boyfriend took one look at Hanako’s puppy-dog eyes that screamed “please?”, then back at you, and sighed.

“Fine. But you have a lot of explaining to do, too.”

“...I know.” you confessed.

Teru took your hand and led you back to the doors to the stairs, before shooting Hanako one last cold glare, to which Hanako only closed his eyes and sighed with relief.

You both went your separate ways once you exited the building, an unspoken feeling left hanging in the air.

- - -

Your day ended with a blur, and Teru still hadn’t contacted you all night. By the time morning rolled around, you were beginning to think that your relationship with him had ended before you heard the doorbell ring.

It was still fairly early, and you were only dressed in a big t-shirt and some sleep shorts, but you answered the door nonetheless, only to find Teru standing there with a box in his hands.

“Umm.. May I come in?” He asked hesitantly.

You were (secretly) really happy to see him standing on your front porch, knowing that the tension between you guys could finally be settled.

As you invited him in, he sat down on a stool at your counter while you stood on the other side, leaning on the kitchen cabinets.

Teru nudged the box in your direction with his hand and looked away sheepishly with a blush on his face. “Here, I uh.. got these for you.”

You curiously opened the box to find...

“Pastries?”

His blue eyes looked up to meet your gaze and he gave you a gentle smile. “Yeah, I remembered that we were supposed to go try the new cafe together yesterday, so I thought that you might want to share these since... things got in the way.”

The corners of your lips quirked up as you took one of the pastries. “Thank you, Teru. That was really considerate of you.”

“And I also hoped that we could talk about what happened yesterday..” He trailed off.

You sighed, taking a bite of the pastry before beginning. “Yeah, I’ll start. I’ve been able to see supernaturals since the beginning. I didn’t tell you because, well.. I knew what you thought of them, and I didn’t want to put anything at risk.”

Continuing, you said, “I know that you come from a long line of exorcists, and I really didn’t want to interfere with your work, but some of the supernaturals, like Hanako, haven’t done anything to harm anyone. He’s even protected your little brother and Nene when they’ve been in trouble.”

Teru also took one of the pastries and munched on it, absorbing your words.

He noted, “Before I came here to talk to you, I also had a small conversation with my brother about that. Kou insisted that he would keep Hanako in check, as long as he didn’t hurt any of the students. And if it came down to that, then he agreed to exorcise him.”

He took a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m giving both Kou and Hanako a chance to prove that Hanako is a safe supernatural. And if they fail, well.. then I’ll take care of it.”

“Teru,” You began with a smile tugging at your lips. “You don’t know how much I appreciate you doing that for us. I’m sorry for interfering in the first place.”

He gave you that familiar warm smile that made your heart skip a beat. “And I’m sorry too. From now on, no more secrets, okay?” Teru questioned.

“Definitely. No more secrets.”

Your boyfriend held his arms open for you and you rolled your eyes affectionately before letting yourself be held by him, both of you humming in satisfaction.

“Wanna go grab some breakfast in town to make up for yesterday?” He asked you, his voice slightly muffled.

“...is that even a question?”

#minamoto teru x reader #teru x reader #toilet bound hanako-kun x reader #tbhk x reader #jibaku shounen hanako-kun x reader #jshk x reader #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #jibaku shounen hanako-kun #jshk #minamoto teru #x reader

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