#my whole body feels very tired and my silly hands are still shaking

[just-miru]

guess who will be starting proper therapy by the end of january next year

[sweetbans29]

Power Couple - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: Life during Caitlin and your rookie season - Based on THIS request

Warnings: None that I can think of :) just some fluff for ya

Word Count: 4.8k

Power Couple Part 2

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I don't know much about soccer but I tried my best! I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think 🤍

The first time Caitlin knew you were something special was in high school. The two of you faced off on the soccer field during a game. This was when Caitlin still played soccer and was figuring out if she wanted to pursue soccer in college or basketball. She ended up going with the latter and was thankful for it because you were a force to be reckoned with.

You had nearly a perfect game. Your team came out on top but no thanks to a certain player on the other team. When the game was over and your team was going around saying 'good game' to the other team you pulled no.23 in.

"You almost gave me a run for my money, keep it up babe," you say as you bring her into a half hug so you can whisper it in her ear. You give her hip a little pinch before shaking hands with her coaches.

Caitlin is left speechless. She goes back into the locker room - star-struck and a little confused. She has never really been interested in anyone and has never really had the time to date but you had her wanting more. That night, she did some IG stalking and found you. She spent the whole evening looking through your page and all your tags. She went through all your teammate's photos and even searched you as a tag. She fell asleep contemplating if she was going to follow you. It seemed silly that she was nervous to press a button.

She dreamt of you that night. Had a dream that the two of you played D1 soccer in college together and were the 'it' couple of school (not like that is really a thing in college but a girl can dream). When she woke up in the morning she looked at her phone to see what time it was. She shot up when she saw the notification that you had followed her. She couldn't believe a single notification had her feeling like a little school girl but there she was.

When you woke up the next morning, you saw that Caitlin had requested to follow you back.

From there - she was the one to message you first, talking about how amazing you had played and how impressed she was. You were hardcore flattered. The two of you didn't talk much after but you both followed each other in your respective sports. You learned that Caitlin dropped soccer for basketball which you thought was a shame - she could have easily gone D1. But watching her on the court was something else. Her IQ on the court was something you had never seen before.

It was during your senior year of high school that the two of you started going to watch each other play. At least when you both had the time, which wasn't super frequent. It was merely a taste of what the two of you were about to experience in college. Both of you had signed to become Hawkeyees. Caitlin for basketball and you for soccer.

It was your freshman year of college that the two of you started hanging out. You had become pretty close friends that always acted like more. Your friendship took a turn one night when you were taking care of a very sick Caitlin.

"I don't want soup," she pouts and turns away from the spoonful of soup you are trying to feed her.

"Caitlin you need to eat," you say as you grab her shoulder to hold her down from rolling over. She tries to fight you but is extremely weak due to the flu overtaking her body. She whines when she can't turn away from you and lays there in defeat. She looks like she is on the verge of tears.

"Hey, hey," you say as you rub her arm. "Shhh it's okay love." Your hand comes up to her face and caresses it. She looks up at you with such tired eyes. "I know you don't want to but you haven't eaten in days and it's scaring me."

Her eyes stare into yours as she takes your hand holding the spoon and guides it to her mouth. She takes a little bite that looks painful to swallow but she does. You kiss her forehead and continue to feed her the broth.

Later that night you fell asleep next to her bed, you took the floor to not get sick yourself. Caitlin woke up and saw you sleeping on the floor. She turned to face you and looked down, she loved watching you sleep. You always looked so peaceful which is so different than watching you on the field. She reached down and brushed a piece of hair from your face and whispered 'I love you'. Little did she know that her touch had stirred you awake and you heard her little confession.

It was shortly after Caitlin got better that you two started dating. You went public on your three-month anniversary, which was also when you signed for the USWNT. It had been a dream of yours since you were a little girl.

You stopped playing for Iowa once you joined the women’s team but that didn’t stop you from going to support your girl for her games whenever you could. Caitlin did the same whenever you had games close by and the two of you sort of became known supporters at each other's games. It was kind of cute how people would get excited to see Caitlin coming to your games and vice versa. Someone had even started an amateur fan account for the two of you, nothing ever came from it but it would pop up on your feed every now and again. It was mostly posts of you wearing Caitlin's jerseys at her games and Caitlin wearing your jerseys to support your games.

There was one game you went to support Caitlin and had her fans come up and ask for pictures with you. It was cute how her fans were so supportive of the two of you. But with support, also comes hate.

As the years go on, your relationship with Caitlin grows. By the time the two of you are entering your senior year of college, you have pretty much been through it all. The ups and downs have been very high and very low but you wouldn't have changed any of it. It was because of those times that you know as you begin your careers, you and Caitlin will make it.

It is during your last year that you get drafted as the first pick to the Chicago Red Stars. Caitlin and your family are there for the draft and are over the moon for you to be playing closer to home. When your name is announced - you hug your family first then make your way to Caitlin. She engulfs you in a hug and kisses the top of your head. You look up and give her a little kiss before heading up to shake the announcer's hand and head off to a few interviews.

Being drafted before the school year ended meant that you would have to finish your senior year online. It wasn't your favorite but you were determined to get your degree, even though everyone was saying you no longer needed it. It was something you felt like you needed to accomplish.

This also meant that you would be moving to Chicago to start training. At no point was there ever any tension in your relationship with Catilin when it came to moving. The two of you had a conversation early on about what your life goals were which included playing pro for your respective sports. The two of you talked through what that would look like and how you would prioritize one another while pursuing each of your dreams. The way you two were on the same page only solidified your relationship even more.

As Caitlin and the Hawkeyes were heading into March Madness - you weren't able to make it to the Sweet Sixteen or the Elite Eight. That didn't stop you from watching your girl dominate on the court - breaking records and doing what she does best (shooting logo threes).

You were bummed that you couldn't be there when she broke the NCAA scoring record but one of your teammates got a video of you watching your girlfriend make history and posted it. It gained a lot of traction and was the first time they featured your relationship on any sports network.

When you found out Caitlin was heading back to the final four - you made it a priority to head to Clevland to watch. You were able to pull some strings and get courtside seats to watch your girl front row. You watched them play UConn and were stressed the entire game. This was some of the best defense you have seen a team put up against Cait. They came to fight.

Throughout the game you had people come up to you and ask for autographs and photos. It was neat to see it was a variety of both Caitlin's fans who knew you as her girlfriend and also your fans who have watched you since you started with the USNWT.

When the Hawkeyes pulled through and took the win - everyone flooded the court, making it almost impossible to find Caitlin. It was actually a handful of people in the crowd who helped you locate her. When you saw her, you ran straight up to her and wrapped your legs and arms around her. You knew what this game stood for - it was redemption from the previous year.

"THAT WAS AMAZING BABE!" You yelled right in her ear.

She laughs and spins you around, "I am so glad you were able to make it." She inhales you and is reminded of how much she misses you. "Do you have to leave?" She asks, only half-heartedly wanting the answer.

"Well knowing you were going to win this game and Coach not needing me back until Monday, I am staying to the final," you say hoping down from your girl but keeping your arms around her neck.

Caitlin brings you back into her and just holds you. As thankful as she is that her team just won, she is even more grateful that she gets to spend some time with you. Cait and the team only had a light practice the day in between games. The rest of the day was to be used as a rest day with the exception of a team dinner. You spent the day in Caitlin’s hotel room. Most of the time the two of you spent catching up on life and how each of you has been doing. She talked about her feelings about how she contemplated staying at Iowa for a fifth year versus going to the WNBA draft. The two of you had talked a little over the phone about it but there was something about having you there that really opened her up about all the thoughts she truly had. You sat there and listened to her talk - it was one of your favorite things to do. You could sit with her forever and be content.

She loved talking to you because you never pushed her in one direction or another, but would rather genuinely listen to her. And when she would pause to gather her thoughts, you would ask her questions to help her figure out what she wants to do and not what the media expects of her. You knew the last thing that she needed was someone else telling her what she should and shouldn't be doing.

When it was your turn to unpack - you talked about the shift from playing on the women's national team to a city team. It was a shift but one that was really nice. It felt like you were finally able to settle down somewhere and you were excited for her to feel the same and hopefully a little closer to yourself than she was at now. You missed being around her.

You continued to talk about how her team has been super welcoming and that you all instantly fit into the team. That was something Caitlin knew you were worried about signing with the Chicago Red Stars. She hasn't been out to one of your games yet but is hoping to before she goes into training.

That night you joined Caitlin at the team dinner. All the girls were happy to see you. It was great getting to spend some time with everyone - with Cait being on the team, you had become really close to some of her friends. Kate and Gabby were especially happy to see you.

You went to watch the championship game the next day - sitting right behind the team's bench. You watched your girl put up 18 points in the first quarter - breaking another record in her last collegiate game.

As the game progressed you saw how difficult it was for the Hawkeyes to put up points against the best defensive team in the league. But they put up a fight.

In the final quarter, you could see the hope in the team's eyes slip away as the momentum SC was gaining kept going. When there were only a few minutes left, you saw the shift in Caitlin's demeanor and knew that she was beginning to accept defeat.

At the one-minute mark, Coach Bluder pulled her starting seniors and allowed some of the other girls take the court. As Caitlin was walking off, she alongside Kate and Gabby went down the line of coaches and gave them each a hug. When she sat down on the bench, you couldn't see her face but knew she was struggling to keep it together. If there was anyone else in this stadium that knew how much she wanted this win, it was you.

It didn't come as a surprise when Caitlin sat right in front of you. You leaned down to her and placed your hand on her arm. No words needed, just a sign to show her that you were there. Her hand comes up and rests on yours, giving a little squeeze.

She spent that night in your arms. You tried to get her out of her head but weren't doing a great job of it. All Caitlin really wanted was to be held by you and that is exactly what you did.

You flew back to Chicago that Monday - feeling sad you were leaving Caitlin but know you left her in good hands with Kate and Gabby. Before leaving - Caitlin booked a flight to come out to watch you play in Chicago. You thought it would be a good distraction as well as nice to have her back in the stands.

When it was game day, you took the field for warm-ups, occasionally looking towards the stands to see where your girlfriend was watching from. It wasn't an easy task but you looked in all the typical places she would watch from when you were playing for the USWNT. When you couldn't find her in the crowd, you got worried that she wasn't able to make it. When you got back to the bench, you did a quick scan when one of the other girls came up to you and pointed to one of the boxes. Looking over - you saw Caitlin in the middle box talking with your team manager.

A smile makes its way to your face as you see them talking and laughing. Your team manager was kind of a hard-ass which would have you worried if it was anyone other than Caitlin. But knowing your girl, she could start a conversation with anyone.

Throughout the game, you would glance up to the box. You were met with the sight of either Caitlin watching intently or her talking with whoever else was there. You noticed one of the times she was talking to one of your teammate's wives. It was such a comfort to have her there.

At the end of the game, your team pulled through and took the dub against the Kansas City Current. As the team was celebrating you felt someone come up from behind you and spin you around. Knowing immediately who it was, when you were put down - you turned and jumped into Cailtin's arms.

"Proud of you babe," she says as she embraces you yet again.

"I am glad you were able to come," you say and grab her hand to introduce her to a few of your teammates.

The next day you see an article out about Caitlin coming to your game. It wasn't the first but it was the first that you saw circulate social media to this extent. It caught like wildfire and the next thing to know your following on IG went from 20k to 50k.

You didn't think much of it considering you don't follow the media really at all but thought it was cute and shot it over to Caitlin. She thought it was funny and criticized the photo they chose of the two of you.

The next thing you know, you are in New York getting ready for the WNBA draft. You are sharing a room with Caitlin and just sit in awe as your girl is getting dressed. She is the first to sport Prada for the WNBA and she is looking amazing.

Once she is dressed, the two of you head down. There are a few photos snapped of Caitlin on the way down, you follow closely behind her, trying to not get in the frame. That proves hard to do as she refuses to let go of your hand. At one point she looks back and gives your hand a little kiss before heading into the elevator to head down to the orange carpet.

The night went by in a blur. Caitlin is the first pick and is headed to the Indiana Fever. It was what both of you were prepared for and have honestly started planning for as well. You two started talking about how it would be so nice to only be an hour's plane ride away from each other (a 3-hour drive if needed).

Her crew celebrates by going out for some drinks and food. It was a fun night out with the girls not only celebrating Caitlin but also Kate who was drafted into the Aces. The two of you end the night back in the hotel.

The next morning, you started to get notifications and messages about the media calling you and Caitlin the new 'Power Couple' of the sports world. Before you could open anything on your phone, Caitlin was showing you hers. You looked at the post that Ovvertimewbb posted. It was the photo of Caitlin kissing your hand right before heading into the elevator with a caption on how you two are the couple to watch in and out of the game.

"So they are calling us the couple to watch," you say as you hand the phone back to Cait.

"Looks like it," she says with a laugh. "I have no idea what that means."

"Honestly, neither do I but we will find out," you say as you lean over to give her a kiss.

Throughout both of your rookie seasons, the media watches you both closely. You because you have been on fire, consistently playing record-breaking games and carrying your team to victory, and Caitlin because she is changing the game.

Now that the two of you are closer, going to support each other has become much easier. Once Caitlin started in Indiana, she was at almost every one of your games - almost always supporting you from your manager's booth. You always joke with her that your manager loves her more than they do you. Every now and again she would be standing fieldside, out of the way of course. The media tore up any time she was standing on the field or seen talking with your manager. It would always be something about how Caitlin is such a great girlfriend coming out to support you. Or it would be how your GM has found a new person to watch their team with, having a picture attached with your GM and Caitlin laughing about something.

The posts and articles went both ways. You went to support Caitlin whenever you could which then put you in the spotlight. It was unexpected to both of you how much the media ate up your support for each other.

It was when you were watching an interview that Caitlin was in that it began to click.

"Caitlin - you are projected to be rookie of the year, how do you feel about that?" The interviewer asks.

"I think it's pretty awesome," she responds with a smile. "Just like the work I have put in during my college career to get here, I have put in the work this season to be up for rookie of the year."

"Well, it is quite impressive, if I must say," the interviewer compliments your girlfriend. "But what is also impressive is that your girlfriend is also up for rookie of the year."

Caitlin just smiles and nods. She could say a lot (she will rarely brag about herself but when it came to you, she could talk up a storm) but just sits and nods. To everyone watching - it was a proud girlfriend moment.

"Seeing you go and support each other at games, getting the posts of your post-game meals with one another, and all the talk about how each of your teammates has become great friends with you and her, you have become the ultimate power couple in the sports world." Caitlin doesn't blush easily but she’s blushing now. "How has becoming this power couple affected your relationship?"

"Well it is kind of funny - neither Y/n nor I have really seen much of what has been going on in the media with any of it," Caitlin says.

It was true - the two of you tried your best to stay out of looking into the media like that. You knew it wouldn't affect your relationship in the slightest but never really cared for what other people said about the two of you. Outside of supporting each other during games the two of you led a pretty private relationship.

"Well let me show you a slim snippet of what the fans are saying," the interviewer says as they start flashing photos of you on the screen. "There are endless fan edits of the two of you while you are watching each other games. What really got me was finding a fan account that has been following the two of you since your college years."

Pictures of the two of you from their account started flying across the screen. Photos going back in time - it was a neat way to reminisce on the past and how far you have come.

At the end of the slideshow is a picture from when you played in your final home game for your high school - senior night. It was a picture of you and two other girls heading to the captain's meeting in the middle of the field. In the photo, it is you and your co-captains looking down but if you looked over to the crowd - there is Caitlin, front row with some of her friends there to watch you play.

Caitlin remembers the moment as if it was yesterday. She debated going to that game for weeks before it happened. She didn't tell you she was coming to your senior night but brought you flowers and she gave them to you afterward. That was the night that you had Caitlin falling even harder than before - getting so excited when you saw her. Causing her heart to leap out of its chest when you dropped all of your stuff to pick her up and spin he around. Her stomach filled with butterflies and her cheeks turned a deep pink - the first time you made her blush.

"Yep, that's me," she says with a laugh, turning even more red than before. "You could say we were fans of each other long before we started dating.'

"Well, that is the cutest thing!" The interviewer says with such excitement. "We are all rooting for the two of you and can't wait to watch you both as you progress in your careers."

Later that night, you call Cait. She picks up the phone immediately.

"I know, I know," she says, already knowing what you are going to say.

"You are too cute when you blush," you say with a little laugh.

"Ugh stop babe," she says laughing as well. "Did you hear when they called us the ultimate power couple?"

"I did," you say full-on laughing now. "It is crazy to see how many people are invested in our relationship."

You hear her hum in agreement, but she doesn't say anything.

"Hey babe, is everything okay?" You ask, worried that this is all starting to get to her. You know Caitlin doesn't follow the media like that but you wouldn't blame her if she fell down the rabbit hole after that interview. I mean, you did.

It wasn't intentional but after you watch the interview, curiosity got the best of you and you started looking at some accounts. Most of it was sweet - pictures and comments of how the world is cheering you on but with being in the spotlight more, there were also more people who used the platform to tear you down. It really didn't affect either of you - at least when people talked about yourselves. But you knew when people start talking bad about you on her posts, she gets caught up in her head about how hateful the world can be.

It takes her a minute but after what feels like a lifetime, she responds.

"You are the most incredible woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing," she starts, causing your heart to swell. She begins to stumble on her words. "I - just thank you." She says. "Thank you for being so amazing not only to me but to the world. I can't wait until you begin your off-season and move here with me so we can finally be together. Then when you go back, and I am off, I will come and live with you and everything will be right in the world and we will get a dog and start planning our wedding and both be living out our dreams."

She pauses and you take a sharp inhale. The two of you haven't really talked about marriage - if you were being honest, you had no idea that was even on Caitlin's radar. It was on yours but you never wanted to rush her.

"What was that last part?" You ask slowly.

"Us living out our dreams?" She asks, knowing it is not what you are talking about.

"No right before that..." you say as it feels like time has stopped. The only other time you have felt this with her is the first game you played against her. She had been one of the only other players who could keep up to you and you let her know that after. Whispering the compliment in her ear and watching her react to your touch had stopped time for you.

"Start planning our wedding...?" Caitlin says extremely slowly. You are hooked on every single word she says as she repeats that.

"Caitlin Clark, are you asking me to marry you?" You say jokingly but also dripping with genuine interest.

"You are just going to have to wait to find out," she says and you can hear the smirk that has grown on her face.

Little did you know that Caitlin already had the ring. She knew she was going to marry you after you picked her up and spun her around on your senior night. It only solidified when the two of you started dating in college and were there to support one another during your sporting events but also just with life in general. Having you by her side wasn't an option. You pushed her to be better than she could have ever imagined. You brought her out of her head when no one else could. You let her be herself unapologetically and she couldn't imagine a more perfect person.

"Well just know, if you get down on one knee at either of our award ceremonies, I will say no." You say, trying to play it cool when your heart is beating faster than it does on the field.

Caitlin laughs and you join in, longing for the days when you can have these conversations face to face.

AN: I hope this does the request justice. Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for the love and support 🤍

[ophidianoccultist]

Admittance

Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader

18+ MDNI

Tags: first time, cluelessness, p in v, some angst if you squint?, interruption, oral (f receiving), choking/leash?

Word Count: 8.3k

"Ah, there you are." Sebastian said.

His face bore the usual composed smile, and his short, brown, curly hair remained tousled atop his head. Freckles dotted his cheeks, while his deep brown eyes exuded arrogance and confidence. Y/N looked up from her Herbology book at her best friend, Sebastian. The two had been friends since their fifth year, and here they were now, going to gradute this year.

Sebastian looked tired and a tad sweaty, appearing as if he had run down every flight of stairs in the whole of Hogwarts. And apparently, he had been searching for her. And here she was in the library, studying for her Herbology exam. Why had he not thought to look here first?

"Are you alright? You look dreadful."

Y/N bookmarked her page and closed the textbook, looking up at her freckled friend.

"I've been trying to find you," he said, his voice tinged with exhaustion. He sat in the seat next to her, looking somewhat dejected and out of place.

"I have something very important to tell you."

His deep brown eyes gazed intently into Y/N's, his expression a strange mix of nervousness and confidence. Her brows furrowed slightly at the urgency in his voice. Oh Merlin, had he been out on some ludicrous errand again?

"Yes, I'm listening. What is it, Seb?"

She turned her body to face him, giving him her full attention. Sebastian took a deep breath and looked down for a moment, before meeting Y/N's eyes and finally saying the words he had rehearsed in his head over and over again.

"Y/N, I've been meaning to tell you this for a very, very long time. Since fifth year, in fact. But I could never find the courage..."

He seemed to be struggling to keep his emotions in check, and his voice was shaking slightly.

"...I'm in love with you."

Both of their faces flushed a deep shade of crimson as she stared at him with a dazed expression. No... He doesn't really like me, right? Did someone put him up to this?

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me."

He was quiet for a moment, the silence broken only by his shallow breathing. His gaze remained locked on Y/N's, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and fear, like a soldier preparing for battle. After a few moments of painful tension, he spoke again:

"I know we've been friends for a while," he said, "but I was too shy to express my feelings before. Maybe I still am."

He paused again, looking for some response from Y/N. She blinked a few times before she actually processed his words, and then she flushed a deep cherry red. This wasn't a joke, she knew he would never play around with her feelings like that. Sebastian was silly, sure, but he's not mean.

"O-Oh, well... I, um..."

Her hands started fiddling with the collar of her shirt as she always did when she was nervous.

"Look, if you don't feel the same way, that's..."

His voice trailed off, his expression now a mixture of embarrassment and hope.

"It's fine, I would understand..."

After a long pause, he finished his thought.

"But I was too scared to say anything before. And I know I should've probably just kept those feelings to myself, but I couldn't help it."

He looked down again and took a deep breath, waiting for Y/N's answer. It was now or never, she had to tell him. The anger in her was quickly rising though; why did he have to admit this now of all times? She had felt this way about him for ages, and thought he didn't see her the same way.

"Sebastian, why didn't you tell me earlier on? Right when I start to move on, you come out with this and make me confused all over again."

Y/N's voice raised a little, but her tone was more exasperated than accusatory. Sebastian looked surprised at her forcefulness, her words a total shock to him.

"Wait, you've...you've liked me?" he asked.

He could feel his heart leaping in his chest.

"I thought you were already over me..."

His voice was filled with both hope and confusion.

"Are you not?"

"Not completely, I still have feelings for you, but..."

All Y/N would like to do at this very moment is just have a Graphorn bite her head off. It was hard telling him this, but he needed to know...

"I've already begun pursuing someone else? We aren't together, just flirting, but that's the situation."

A wave of sadness washed over Sebastian's face as he listened to her words.

"Oh... I understand."

His voice was quiet and somber, his gaze cast down towards his feet.

"I-I hope you'll be happy, Y/N."

He was clearly devastated, but his tone remained calm and collected. He paused for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek before looking back up at her.

"But what if it doesn't work out...?"

A sigh escaped Y/N's lips, not enjoying being put on the spot like this.

"Sebastian, I don't know who to pursue now. I really like you, but I'm beginning to really like him too. I just..."

Y/N trailed off, burying her face in her hands, wanting to simply disappear and not have this conversation at all. Yet Sebastian reached out and gently took her hands in his own all the same, rubbing her palms with his thumbs in an effort to comfort her.

"Look at me," he said.

He tilted Y/N's head up so that he could look at her eyes.

"Please listen. We've known each other since fifth year; we like the same things, we're best friends... I know you think you like...him, but if you could be with the one you already know and trust, wouldn't you choose that over some new fling?"

He paused for a few seconds, contemplating his next words carefully. He felt emasculated and slightly manipulative saying these things, but as he looked into her eyes, all of those feelings were put on the back burner.

"Please... choose me."

"Can we speak somewhere a little more private? I always feel listened to in here, and not in the good way..."

Her eyes met the bright green eyes of Garreth Weasley, who was the boy she had been pursuing. He shot her a silly smile laced with worry, and it was all she could do to not giggle at him. Y/N turned back to Sebastian and asked:

"We could go to the Undercroft? Or the Room of Requirement? So we can discuss this?"

"Yes, of course."

He squeezed her hand and gave it a little kiss before letting go. Sebastian rose from his seat and held out his hand, gesturing for Y/N to take it.

"Shall we go?"

Hesitantly, she grabbed a hold of his wrist and allowed him to lead her to wherever he was taking her.

"Of course, lead the way."

Even though she was wary of the conversation, Y/N felt a little warmth spread through her body upon touching him. All of the blood rushed to her face as he held her hand and she took a real look at him. Sure, he was cute in his fifth year, but over the past couple of years, he had grown taller so he nearly towered over her. He had filled out a lot better as well, and she could confidently say that he looked handsome. Sebastian slowly led Y/N out of the library, turning to face her as they headed down the corridor. He smiled warmly at her, his amber eyes shining with a glimmer of hope. Sebastian looked back behing him where Y/N was trailing along and took note of her increased height and curves, the flush of her cheeks, and the way her hair moved in the light breeze.

Y/N was far more attractive than she had been at the start of fifth year, and Sebastian's feelings for her were only growing as they headed towards their destination. After a bit of walking and a couple of flights of stairs, they soon found themselves at the Undercroft, which was the place the both of them and Ominis went when they needed to be alone. Although now that she was cured, Anne joined them down there too at times. The gate closed behind them, and Y/N sat down on the slightly dusty sofa in the cold stone room.

"So..."

Sebastian sat down beside her, looking her in the eyes.

"Yeah. So..."

Y/N could see the faint sparkle of tears in his eyes. Sebastian was clearly on the edge, and he felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"Look, I know you like the other guy. But the truth is, I don't know if I can handle watching you spend that kind of time with him."

He paused for a moment to take a breath and get his thoughts properly aligned, then continued.

"All that time spent together... I don't just want you as my friend."

An uncomfortable and heavy silence weighed over the pair like a cold, wet blanket. It was only Y/N's words that cut through it.

"I feel the same way about you, Sebastian."

Bravely, she scooted a bit closer to him, their knees brushing together, and she noticed Sebastian tense up at the miniscule touch. Just how much did he really feel for her? Sebastian drew in a sharp breath as he felt her body brush against his own. He was speechless for a moment, trying desperately to process his own emotions and feelings.

"You... you like me?"

Sebastian's head was whirring with questions and he felt confused.

"But what about Garreth... I mean, I saw you together... "

"Let me deal with Garreth, okay? I'll wean him off the flirting, we haven't even admitted any feelings to each other, we were only flirtatious. He's sweet and a good friend, and I don't want to lose him."

Y/N took a deep breath as she saw Sebastian's eyes darken at her calling Garreth 'sweet'.

"Look, I want to make this work between us. I really do like you, Seb, and I have for ages..."

Her head settled on his left shoulder and she grabbed his hand in both of hers, the tangle of them resting on her right thigh. Sebastian was taken aback when Y/N placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her hands around his. Her actions gave him the sudden urge to pull her close and kiss her right then and there. He felt overwhelmed by a wave of emotions and sensations, trying his best to keep his composure. He looked over, their faces only inches apart.

"Then what's stopping us...?"

Y/N could feel the rapid beating of his heart, his deep breaths brushing against the skin of her neck each time he leabed in to whisper into her ear. He cleared his throat and continued:

"What are we waiting for?"

"I..."

A proper sentence or even syllable couldn't even escape her lips. After all, Sebastian was right. What was stopping them from giving in to each other? Yet Y/N was still hesitant. She'd only ever kissed one person, but that was Leander Prewett in their second year; it was awkward and only lasted a moment or two.

Her head rose from his shoulder to stare back into his beautiful brown eyes. It would only take a slight push to close the gap between them, with how close they were to each other. Y/N parted her lips slightly, waiting for him to move in and close the gap for her. Sebastian held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity. His heart was racing so fast, he thought it would jump out of his chest altogether. He knew he shouldn't hesitate, but for some reason he felt scared, like a diricawl in a poacher's crosshairs. He took a deep breath, gathered all of his courage, and finally did it.

He moved his face towards Y/N's in one smooth motion and kissed her. It wasn't a peck on the cheeks or on the lips, but a full on kiss, filled with passion and emotion. That kiss was all Y/N needed to break down her inhibitions. Sebastian's lips were soft and slightly chapped, but the way they moved so well against her own, you'd think he had done this a thousand times before. One of her hands pried away from his to rest on his cheek, smooth and smattered with freckles. Her thumb stroked his face softly, but her whole body froze as his tongue grazed her lower lip. Sebastian's heart almost leapt out of his chest as his tongue was allowed to enter the equation. The soft caress of Y/N's thumb on his face and the heat building between their bodies felt amazing, and he desperately wanted more. He wanted to be touched, to be loved physically, to seal their feelings for each other with such an intimate act.

He slipped his arm behind Y/N's back and slowly pulled her closer, his tongue slowly caressing her lower lip once more before finally entering and tasting her mouth. His hands caressed the small of her back and he could feel his body heat up as they kissed.

"Oh..." he moaned quietly before continuing to kiss her passionately. Sebastian's mouth tasted like tea and mint, and it was intoxicating to her. His tongue explored her mouth, somewhat clumsily from inexperience. But as his hand found her hip, Y/N felt lightning jolt throughout her body, as if she had just had a hearty gulp of Pepper-Up Potion.

The chilly tension in the air was soon replaced with a hot and more pleasant tension. Sebastian's arms around her made her absolutely melt, and she hadn't felt a rush quite like this before. Sebastian's body was simply radiating with lust and desire. His hands roamed her body, squeezing her rear and sliding down her back to caress her hips. Every kiss was more passionate than the last, and he began to moan more and more between their kisses. He felt light-headed and dizzy, and the way his lover's soft lips caressing his body in the dim, dusty room was so much better than how he had imagined it nearly every night for two years.

"I love you, Y/N."

A low groan escaped her throat at the feeling of him getting more handsy with her. She could feel in her soul that he really wanted her, he needed her. On impulse, she laid her legs over his lap; but soon after, she felt him hungrily grab her by the hips and lift her to straddle him instead. For a brief moment, though, sense overrode the near drunkenness she felt from his touch. Y/N broke away from the kiss for a moment, slightly panting.

"Sebastian...what if Ominis or Anne come in here? What if they interrupt us?"

Sebastian stopped his movements and froze when she asked the question. He hadn't thought of that...

...they hadn't even locked the door.

Before he could say anything, however, a faint knock came from the other side of the door. Y/N cursed herself for speaking this situation into existence.

"Y/N... Sebastian... is everything alright in there?"

It was Anne. Her voice was quiet and uncertain, but it was clear that she was worried things were going south. Sebastian told her that he was going to confess, and she just wanted to make sure everything went well. Y/N's eyes clenched shut and she let out a small groan to herself, although she was screaming bloody murder in her head. She exchanged a desperate glance with Sebastian before she rose from her place on his lap and made her way to the door. Sebastian's face, however, seemed to go white as he adjusted his trousers. The door opened to Anne Sallow, who was a bit taller and looked healthier now that she was rid of her curse. She shot her friend a faint smile which Y/N returned.

"Hey Anne, everything's fine. Seb and I are just having a discussion."

The flushed faces and general disarray, however, seemed to suggest that it was more than a 'discussion'. Anne's eyes widened when she saw the flushed faces and disheveled clothing as she peeked around the room. She could clearly tell what had been happening in the Undercroft, and she felt very awkward about it.

"Riiight... a discussion. How nice," she said awkwardly.

She glanced over at Sebastian, noticing the look he was giving her, something between a plea and a death glare. She cleared her throat and spoke again, very disturbed at this point.

"So, um... shall I give you two some privacy? Do you want a few minutes to resume your...discussion?"

"If you don't mind. I'm sorry, Anne, but we have a lot to discuss, so we might need a while. Please don't tell Ominis?"

Her voice cracked and she got fidgety from the embarrassment, and second-hand embarrassment from Anne. Y/N could only imagine how awkward it was for her to see her brother in such a state with her best friend. They both stood there for a moment, still as statues, as Sebastian crossed his legs in an attempt to cover himself. Anne nodded her head quickly, her face still a bit red.

"Right! I'll... I'll be in the library then."

She turned around and hurried out of the Undercroft, closing the door behind her. Sebastian could feel his face flush even more than it already was. He sat in silence, his thoughts filled with embarrassment and shame. He looked over at his lover, his eyes pleading with her to speak, to say something that would break the awkward mood. The shade of red that spread across her face was so intense, she thought that maybe her hair would also turn bright Weasley red. Y/N took a deep breath and then promptly spoke:

"It's okay. It's fine, let's just..."

After locking the door with a wave of her wand, she sat back down on the squashy sofa next to Sebastian once more, looking him in the eyes. Her hand rested on his cheek and she turned his head to look at her.

"Focus on me, okay? Let's not think about her right now..."

Her other hand grazed his thigh, making him tense up. Sebastian felt his body heat up as she touched him. It seemed as if he forgot his sister even existed, judging by the way his breath hitched and his muscles tensed. He was so sensitive, and all he needed now was release.

"Oh..." he moaned quietly, his eyes wandering downwards to her hips as she sat back on his lap. He looked back up at Y/N's face, absorbing every single feature on it, as if this were the last time he would ever see her again.

"It's so hard to think clearly when I look at you..."

Her voice was sweet and calming, and her eyes were piercing and beautiful. Her words managed to break the tension ever so slightly.

"Please, I... I need you..." he pleaded as a blush spread across his cheeks again. Her eyes gazed into his with a suble intensity coming from the both of them. Y/N could almost feel the heat radiating from his body, and her own body was soaking it in.

"Yes?"

Her voice was almost a whisper, as the sight before her was breathtaking. Sebastian took a deep breath, taking in Y/N's enchanting beauty before he spoke. The thoughts going through his head at that very moment could have made a whore blush.

"I need you, you know...in the sense that..."

He looked down at his lap where Allana was sitting, thinking for a moment. He was confused by his own words...he was never one to beg or submit to others, right? But then again, he couldn't deny how much of an influence her presence had on him and how his mind and thoughts were always clouded by thoughts of her.

"I love you. I always thought it was just lust, but there's so much more..."

This time, Y/N didn't even need to think about her words before she spoke:

"I love you too, Sebastian. And if you feel the same, then show me. Make me feel what you feel for me."

Her hand found his, and placed it on her thigh, her gaze never breaking from his. At this point, Y/N was completely drunk on love and desire for Sebastian. Garreth Weasley was put completely out of her mind now; all she needed or wanted now was Sebastian Sallow.

Her lips collided with his once more, needing to taste him again. The second their lips melted into each other, his hands were on her again, travelling over her body. Y/N placed one hand on the back of his neck, and the other grabbed his tie to pull him closer to her. Sebastian's heart seemed to skip a beat as she placed his hands on her thighs. He felt like he could drown in her gorgeous eyes and he knew that he had to make her feel what she made him feel.

As her soft lips touched his, his mind was filled with a rush of pleasure and his body trembled with joy. His hands ran through her hair, caressing her body with every movement. Y/N's lips tasted sweet and he wanted more...the feeling of her on his body was addicting and he couldn't hold back any longer. Their lips danced together, as if it just came so naturally to the both of them. Once more, Sebastian grabbed hold of her hips and rear, shifting them a bit so he could gain some pleasure from the friction. Underneath her, Y/N could feel the bulge in his pants, and it get her even more excited.

"Sebastian..."

Her voice was almost a squeak, like a bunny rabbit, as his name escaped her lips. Her body was so warm now, and the layers she was wearing made her sweat a bit. Sebastian was less dressed than she was, already without his robe and blazer from running around earlier, but she tugged at his shirt all the same. Sebastian felt a rush of pure pleasure as he witnessed and felt just how eager she was. His tongue continued to dance with her lips, exploring her mouth like it was a new continent. His heart was beating so fast that he could hardly stand it for a moment, but when Y/N began to tug at his shirt and move his hand down to her rear, his breathing quickened and his mind went blank.

He looked at her, his eyes reassuring her that she was doing the right thing. It was so surreal seeing the girl he had fantasized about sitting on his lap, so close and intimate. Y/N ceased her movements and pulled away from their passionate kiss to look at him seriously, but her eyes and her voice were still dripping with a sultry desire.

"Sebastian...are you sure about this? Are you ready? It's okay if you aren't..."

That last statement was laced with a subtle disappointment, however, which betrayed her real thoughts. Sebastian sighed, taking deep and careful breaths as he looked back at his lover.

"Y/N..." he said, his voice quivering a bit. "I'm... I'm sure."

He looked away for a moment, thinking about his next words carefully.

"... I'm more than ready."

He could feel his face flush with embarrassment as he said this. The confirmation from Sebastian was all Y/N needed to go all in. In mere seconds, her lips were on his once more, and her hips were now harshly grinding against his. He groaned into the kiss from the friction against the ever growing tent in his trousers. Sebastian was practically melting beneath her, and she was loving every second of it.

Y/N lazily shrugged her robes off of her shoulders, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Soon after that, her hands fumbled to undo Sebastian's tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. Something so simple as Y/N's robes falling to the floor almost sent him over the edge. Her hips grinding against him, her lips pressed against his. The scent of her, her skin, the feeling of her warm thighs against his trousers. It was more than he could bear.

As Y/N's hands fumbled with his tie, he began helping her. He unbuttoned his shirt quickly and pulled it off in the same motion. When the shirt fell to the floor beside her robes, Y/N could see Sebastian's muscular frame in the light of the candles, his hair still mussed up from their intense making out session. The sight before her made her almost drool, but Y/N didn't allow herself to stop now. Quickly, she pulled back to remove her tie and vest and skirt; but as she worked to unbutton her blouse, Sebastian's hand grabbed her wrist and deigned to work on the buttons himself.

Both of their faces grew hotter and redder, as if it was just now dawning on them what they were doing. Sebastian began to work on the buttons of Y/N's blouse slowly. Although it was taking some time without him using magic, fumbling a bit from nerves, it was still an intimate activity to do together. As the blouse slid off of Y/N's shoulders, Sebastian's eyes trailed down her body, the sound of his breaths quickly filling the room as his own excitement rose.

"Darling..."

Sebastian whispered, almost in awe of the beauty in front of him. He felt her skin, it was so smooth and soft, so warm. His body was almost shaking in anticipation of what was to come next. While his lover was smaller in frame, Sebastian was more toned. Not exactly muscular, but still a bit broad, and his chest was covered in the same freckles that decorated his face, and especially concentrated around his shoulders. As her eyes trailed down though, she noticed the outline of his pelvis and the ever so small line of hair that led down to his crotch. It was all Y/N could do not to rip his trousers off of him, but she thought it was better to savor the moment.

Slowly, she reached behind her back to unlace her corset and let it fall to the floor with her robes, leaving her only in her thin cotton chemise. And then her fingers traveled to his trousers, removing his belt and undoing the buttons on them. Y/N's touch set each of Sebastian's senses ablaze. He could feel the smooth fabric of her chemise, the lace on her corset before it fell to the floor. When he felt her fingers undo the buttons on his trousers, his heart seemed to skip a beat. He let out a soft moan as he felt her gently caress him, and when the trousers fell to the floor beside his shirt, it became clear just how excited and eager he was.

He looked at Y/N once more, hoping that she would take the next step... The only thing between them now was her thin chemise and his undershorts. Their breathing was stilted and uneven, since they were both holding back their primal desire to just claw at each other. Wait a minute... Why am I holding back?

Sebastian and Y/N both exchanged an intense look, wordlessly agreeing to not hold anything back. He seemed to understand, as his lips crashed into hers yet again, but then they moved down her jaw to her neck, leaving small bites along the way. His hands grabbed at her body, trailing up under her chemise to grab at the soft bare flesh of her ass.

Y/N's hands, however, palmed at the bulge in Sebastian's shorts, earning a low groan from him at his own sensitivity. Sebastian's heart practically skipped a beat as he swallowed Y/N's moans through their locked lips. Her voice was like honey in his ears as he kissed her fiercely. The feeling of her hands and lips on his body drove him wild, especially so when her hands reached for him under his shorts.

His own hands went back to her body, exploring her curves underneath her chemise. This was something that they had both wanted for so long and he couldn't believe that he was finally giving it to her and herself.

"Y/N..." Sebastian moaned, biting the side of her neck.

"Sebastian... Do you want to take charge?"

She punctuated her question with a small bite to his earlobe, and Sebastian took no time in flipping them over to where he was on top of her. His hands unbuttoned the top of her chemise with a clumsy fervor, and he quickly pulled it off of her body.

Y/N was now left completely bare underneath him, save for her stockings. Sebastian pulled back from her neck to absorb the sight before him with his eyes. It was everything he had fantasized about and more. Y/N stared back at him before muttering out nervously:

"Is everything okay? You're staring, do you not like it...?"

Sebastian looked at the object of all his desires, her breathtaking body and her precious face. He couldn't believe that she was his, that she was finally in his arms. He smiled, looking down at her, admiring her beauty.

"Y/N...." Sebastian murmured. "What would possibly make you think that I don't like it? You are everything I have ever wanted. I'm just...amazed by you, that's all."

He looked at her body, his eyes traveling along her curves, taking in every inch of her. He leaned down and gave her another kiss, his hands still exploring the shape of her body. This kiss was warmer and a bit less hungry than the others, and his hands were less rough. He was comforting with his touches, making sure she felt completely comfortable and loved. He was tender and needy at once, and Y/N loved him for it. It reassured her that this isn't the only thing he wants from her.

His hands settled on her chest, kneading and massaging at the mounds of flesh. It was here Y/N could tell how inexperienced Sebastian was, but at least he was trying. He was experimenting with different things to see what she enjoyed. When his thumbs grazed her sensitive buds though, he knew he had figured out something she liked, and that filled him with a bit of pride and confidence. Sebastian was so focused on Y/N's reactions, her sounds of pleasure and her body that it almost took him out of the moment. Seeing her react to his touch filled him with pride and joy.

"Is that good, darling?" he asked gently, slowing his movements. "Should I continue? Do you want me to?"

Sebastian was almost breathing heavy, his heart beating so fast that it felt as though it was about to burst. All he wanted was to hear his lover's soft voice telling him to continue.

"Please..."

Was all Y/N could croak out as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She made every effort to try and steady her breathing as Sebastian tried pleasuring her. During his excursions to the adult section in the Hogsmeade library, Sebastian had read a few of the more saucy romance novels, and attempted to do the things he read about. Because otherwise, he was completely clueless. He knew well enough how to pleasure himself, but to pleasure a woman: that was something foreign. From what he read, he decided to be bold and lean down to run his tongue over her chest, flicking his tongue at the sensitive bud. This got a gasp from Y/N as her eyes fluttered shut, and he took that as a sign to keep going.

"Never stop, Sebastian."

She mewled out at him. With every movement of his tongue, she could feel the growing heat and wetness in her core. Sebastian took extra care to make sure both breasts got an equal amount of love. After a while, he pulled away to look down at her chest. Her buds were now stiff and red from his affection. He took this as a sign to continue with something else. His hand now trailed down her stomach and nestled down at the short bit of hair between her thighs. Sebastian could almost feel the heat radiating from her core, and according to what he read, this was a good thing. Y/N's breathing was ragged and fast as Sebastian explored her nakedness with his hands. She was almost panting as he traced his fingers over her skin, moving slowly down toward her slick slit.

In that moment, Sebastian began to realize how perfect and beautiful Y/N's body was. He could feel her soft and plump legs against his waist as he kissed and licked her thighs. He made sure to touch her in many different areas to see her reactions and find her sweet spots. From what he was doing, Y/N found out that she was particularly sensitive to him biting her inner thighs, which made her let out soft moans. Sebastian had slid down to where his head hovered between her thighs.

His eyes were dripping with lust, but behind that, he was just as clueless as she was about any of this. Sebastian remembered a certain part of his saucy novels that he found quite strange, but he wanted to try. Y/N felt his lips graze against her core, planting a chaste kiss on her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Sebastian, what are you doing? Isn't it supposed to be you...in me?"

Y/N asked awkwardly. Sebastian chuckled and pulled back to look at her; her innocence and her confusion was so adorable to him. He gently pushed her knees apart as he nestled his head once more between her thighs. His eyes trailed over every inch of her skin as his fingers trailed over her wetness.

Without looking at her, Sebastian replied simply, "I want to taste you, darling. I want you to enjoy this...as much as I am."

Y/N knew somewhat about how sex was supposed to go, but she had never heard about using your mouth on someone. But all the same, it made her shudder and purr when he experimentally licked a long stripe between her folds.

"Merlin's beard, that feels nice... Where did you learn all this?"

Sebastian gave a warm smile, a smile that said 'just trust me'. He was careful to not be too rough, to not go too fast. Y/N was delicate and innocent, he couldn't be too aggressive. Instead, Sebastian focused on pleasing her, on her pleasure, on her reactions.

Sebastian kept it up, licking and exploring. Y/N's words did nothing but add to his lust and desire. This was her body, he could do what he wanted with it, and that made him feel amazing. And it looked as though his lover's pleasure was increasing as well. As Sebastian licked and sucked and even bit sometimes at her sensitive region, the more she felt that familiar knot tighten in her abdomen. Y/N had pleasured herself sometimes during late nights in the Room of Requirement where she had complete privacy, but it was nothing like what Sebastian was doing to her. Her breathing quickened and her hips instinctively ground against his tongue, needing more of his touch. He took the hint and she felt his finger find her entrance, pushing in.

"S-Sebastian, I..."

Sebastian was almost shaking with excitement. This was real...this was the moment that he had been waiting for. And it was so perfect... Y/N's body, her moans, her lustful breath and her expressions... He was loving every moment of this. He pulled back for a moment, looking at her.

"Y/N, would you like me to continue?" Sebastian asked, his voice almost a whisper.

He felt a rush of adrenaline as he looked at Y/N, as if his body was preparing to release everything that it has in it. Her words were stuck in her throat, so she only looked up at him and nodded fervently. On instinct, Y/N brought her knees up to her chest to give Sebastian easier access as he unlaced his shorts. Soon, his length sprung free and stood proud before her, making her eyes widen.

"Merlin, I don't think that's going to go in.."

Sebastian chuckled, and his expression become a warm and tender as he leaned down and gave his love another kiss. The feeling of her soft lips, combined with her sweet and innocent demeanor, was melting his heart.

"Shhh... trust me, Y/N." He whispered.

Sebastian's hand came to rest upon her cheek, and he leaned down onto her once more as he slowly entered her. Even though he took it really slow, Y/N's face still twisted up in pain. She had never put anything in there before, so Sebastian's thickness was especially painful for her. Once he was fully sheathed, he kept still, letting her adjust.

"T-That hurts..."

A tear formed in her eye and her body scrunched up a little. Sebastian could see the tears in her eyes and that made him feel terrible.

"Darling, I'm sorry." He whispered.

He kept still to give her time to adjust, but he was anxious to continue. He just wanted to please her. He gave her a loving kiss on her cheek, letting her know that he still cared.

"Just keep breathing." Sebastian murmured. "Just relax."

Y/N nodded and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. Slowly, she felt her insides relaxing and opening up more, and the pain grew lesser.

"You can move..."

Her voice was nearly a whisper as she opened her eyes to look at him once more. Sebastian started to move back and forth, slowly and gently. He was careful not to hurt Y/N, making sure to go at her pace and never force her.

"How does that feel, darling?" he whispered.

With every time he pushed in, she felt tingles ripple through her body. It was nice, even though the size of him still hurt a little.

"That feels lovely, Sebastian... Have you done this before?"

That last question sounded anxious, desperate for him to say no. Sebastian hesitated for a second before he spoke.

"No, actually, I've never done this before." He said softly. "Honestly, my heart is racing right now. In a good way, my love."

He slowed his movements to a stop, not able to speak for a moment. He was so focused on Y/N and the way her body felt, and all his anxiousness was washed away by his desire to make her feel good. Noticing that he stopped, Y/N moved her hips against his and opened her legs up more to reassure him that he was doing well, and that she wanted this.

"I've never done this either, but I've thought about us doing it a lot."

She paused, and looked deep in thought for a moment.

"Could you do something for me? It's just something I've pictured..."

Sebastian's heartbeat quickened at her words. "Yes, of course, my love. What do you want me to do?"

Sebastian was curious as to what Y/N wanted. Her thoughts, her feelings -- these were things he had wondered about. And to finally, be able to do exactly what she asked of him... his heart raced in excitement.

"Uhm...could you..."

Y/N looked incredibly nervous and a little ashamed as the words wouldn't exit her throat. Instead, she picked his tie up off of the floor and tied it tightly around her neck, handing him the long end nervously. Sebastian was taken aback. He understood where this was going, but he was still somewhat speechless.

"Are you sure...?" he asked softly, his voice gentle and calm as he took the end of the tie from her hands. "I... I could never do anything you don't want me to do, Y/N."

His breath was ragged as he looked down at her, noticing that her eyes were closed, almost as if in anticipation for his answer.

"I'm sure, just...pull it. Whenever you like."

She bit her lip and looked off to the side, feeling a bit dirty for requesting such a thing, especially for their first time. But on the other hand, she was incredibly eager for him to act out her fantasies with her. Sebastian looked back at his lover, a nervous smile on his face...and then, slowly, he began to pull as his hips snapped against hers once more. He took in her expression and her body's reaction. She seemed to get more excited the tighter he pulled it. His heart pumped faster in his chest, his breathing faster, and he closed his eyes to experience the moment.

He could feel that Y/N was very close to her release and he continued to pull, his mind in a daze. It was as if he was in his own little world, completely oblivious to anything and anyone else but her. As Sebastian started moving in and out of her once again, her gaze met his once more. Her eyelids were heavy and her breath was hot, just as she always had been while in her bed when she pleasured herself as she thought about him. Soon, he sped up with his movements, his length massaging her walls. The hand that wasn't holding the tie rested on her breast, kneading it and thumbing at her sensitive bud. Y/N's moans grew steadily louder and her legs wrapped around his waist once again, pulling him closer to her.

"Sebastian, I... I love you..."

A harsher wave of pleasure washed over Sebastian. He was overwhelmed with emotion, with love, with affection, as his body moved in tune to Y/N's. Her words washed over him like a warm embrace, wrapping him in a blanket of passion as she pulled him closer. Their lips met in a soft and tender kiss as Sebastian moved even faster, his breath hot and his mind lost in the thrill and enjoyment of the moment. He had never felt this way before... His heart was beating out of his chest and his body was shaking with emotion. He felt like he could cry and laugh at the same time. After their admission of love to each other, Sebastian's pace rapidly increased and he got rougher with her, the both of them overcome with need. The sound of skin slapping on skin reverberated throughout the Undercroft, and only added to their arousal.

Sebastian leaned down to Y/N's neck and left a harsh bite, chewing and sucking at her soft skin to leave a bruise. The hand that was on her breast traveled down to her abdomen, feeling her stomach bulge up slightly every time he pushed in. Sebastian's kisses got more passionate as he got rougher with Y/N. His hands went exploring as he looked for somewhere to leave his mark on her. He sucked aggressively at her neck, biting into her flesh and marking her with his lips so that everyone could know who she belongs to.

His free hand trailed lower and lower until he managed to find the spot that he was looking for. The feeling of his teeth grinding into her skin and his cock quickly pushing in and out of her sent Y/N into absolute overdrive. It didn't take long at all for her to melt into a panting, moaning mess underneath Sebastian. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders and back, leaving long claw marks that would definitely last a few days. That oh-so familiar knot started tightening in her stomach, and she knew she was close to her release.

"Mm, Sebastian, I... I-I'm gonna..."

Sebastian's heart was pounding out of his chest at this point. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were almost glazed over. He could picture those claw marks that would be left on his body and his mind was filled with a fiery excitement.

"Yes, my love, let it out." He whispered, his voice low with lust. "Give into it, darling."

The pure obsession and desire that laced Sebastian's voice was all she needed to reach her breaking point. Y/N's body seized up, her back arched, and she let out a long, loud squeal as her walls clamped around his length. Sebastian felt Y/N's insides gripping him tightly and his body started shaking violently. He felt every last bit of his release and it was more than he could've ever imagined it being.

"Y/N..." He groaned, his eyes rolling back from pleasure. He was out of breath, his heart pumping like crazy.

"That...oh my gods..." he muttered. He could feel her claws digging into his flesh even harder.

"That was so good." He sighed.

Y/N purred at the feeling of his fluids painting her insides, and as soon as he stopped, she relaxed and looked up at him with so much love and need that it made his heart melt. Sebastian soon laid on top of her out of exhaustion, his head resting on her chest. Sebastian kept his body tight against Y/N's, feeling safe and content. His chest rose and fell quickly - he could feel his heart still pounding in his ears.

Slowly, he turned his head to look at her face. He wanted to remember every detail about this moment: every feature on her face, every single expression that she made. He smiled softly as his eyes drifted lower and he traced one of the scratches she had left on his arm with his fingers.

"That...was amazing." He whispered.

"You are amazing, Sebastian."

Y/N smiled warmly at him and played with his messy hair, some of which now stuck to his face from how sweaty they were. And when he smiled back at her...she nearly fell in love with him all over again. The way his freckles looked, the way his eyes smiled as well...it was absolutely precious.

"And you are absolutely beautiful, Y/N."

Sebastian's breath was coming in warm puffs as he looked into her eyes. He felt a surge of emotion and was tempted to give her another kiss.

"I'm so in love with you, Y/N." He whispered, softly tracing her cheek with his fingertips.

"And to think... I almost didn't meet you tonight." She was so special to him; without her, he might not have known what love truly is.

"I'm glad that we're together..."

"I want us to be together. Officially. I want everyone to know."

Sebastian said, a grin spreading across his face and a fire roaring in his eyes. His head rested on her chest once more as they both just basked the afterglow. That was, until they came back to the reality that the Undercroft got particularly cold in the wintertime. The pair sat up and stretched a bit before Y/N spoke:

"Maybe we should get dressed and go let Anne know we aren't dead."

"Oh, I forgot we were in here." Sebastian replied, nodding as he noticed that it was cold.

"Alright then." He stood up and reached down to help her up. "Let me give you a kiss first, before we go back to looking respectable, darling."

He bent down, meeting her lips with his own as his hands gripped her hips. Once he had finished, all that was left was a red mark on Y/N's neck -- it would have certainly given away their activities. Y/N giggled, knowing that she had equally marked him by clawing his back. The two quickly pulled their clothes back on and made themselves presentable once again.

"Oh Merlin, I've never felt like this before."

She couldn't resist pulling Sebastian into a tight hug before the two exited the Undercroft. Sebastian sighed, still reeling from the experience, trying to make sense of the feelings he had.

"Nor have I." Sebastian replied, looking down at Y/N with loving eyes. "I wish I knew how I could make you feel this way all the time."

When the two reentered the Dark Arts tower, their faces were flushed and their hair was still disheveled. They knew it was late, due to the now golden light pouring through the large windows, but neither of them really cared at that moment. They had each other's love, and that was all that mattered. And to Sebastian, it was definitely worth running a marathon around the halls of Hogwarts for.

=====♡=====

maybe a part 2 if yall want, idk?

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x Reader)

Words: 3760 (chapter 48)

'screw valentine's day, i want what they have'

but anyway, you're welcome ☺ thoughts, comments are always appreciated <3

48. this might've been just a dream, right?

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He says again, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Robert? What are you doing here?" You manage to say, feeling as if your whole body has gone numb. The kitchen almost starts spinning, and you feel your blood begin to boil.

"I invited Rob, he's a part of the family." Your father says, leaving Matt alone, and comes to stand next to Robert in the kitchen. Rob. Fucking Rob. Now it was only you against them both. Exactly the way it always has been.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, y/n?" Robert asks, eyes targeting Matt, his voice as sweet as honey. You're not gonna get the authority in this house, and he knows it all too well.

"Yeah, that's Matthew Murdock. My boss." You smile wickedly, watching everyone's eyes widen. "Murdock as in Nelson and Murdock attorneys office."

Matt tries to read the room, waiting for somebody to snap, but Robert only shakes his hand, obviously swallowing some other words.

"Your boss? Y/n, what-" your mother begins, but a single glare from your dad is enough to shut her up. The atmosphere changes immediately, and Matt feels like an outsider, as if he himself was sitting as a spectator in a courtroom, a mere watcher with no real influence on the Jury's final decision.

"I'm sorry, mind if I have a few words with my daughter?" Your father says, walking out of the kitchen, sparing all the pleasantries. He doesn't need to turn back and wait for you because he knows you'll follow.

"Excuse me." You mutter, walking past Matt. He asks for someone to show a way to the bathroom, so he could listen to you and your father talk without completely blanking out in front of others. It was unfair, cheating, using his powers for not a great cause, but he just couldn't be left out in a new environment. Not when it was you and him against the world.

"What? What boss? Mind explaining something to your father?" Harold closes the doors of his bedroom, not shouting or smashing things. But this calmness was always scarier than anger.

"What's there to explain? I work elsewhere now." You sit on the bed, unfazed.

"How long?"

"Two months or so."

"Why?" Yeah, this was the spitting image of a police interrogation.

"I got tired of kissing asses, especially Benowitz's." You simply shrug, holding strong eye contact.

"You had the world under your feet there and left for what? What does he even pay you?" Apparently one look was enough to crack Matt's character and social status.

"Not nearly enough, but I don't really care about money." A steady heartbeat.

"If you think that leaving Benowitz was a great idea, you're very wrong, kid. He's gonna crush that office of yours like a boot crushes an ant." Harold's voice was still unbelievably calm. Matt sits on the closed toilet seat to listen better. "What went wrong? You liked working there."

"He wanted me to give a false statement to the Jury. I refused."

"That's it?"

"Yes." Your heart skips a beat; but you don't desire explaining every 'silly' thing that lead to your resignation. Not now.

He scoffs and a thunder-like laugh leaves his chest. "Honey, if you think that everyone who works as a lawyer is a saint, then you still don't know shit about the world."

"If you thought I was gonna let a guilty party walk freely among everyone else, then you're..." Insane. Stupid. "Wrong."

"But it's not that, is it?"

Matt stiffens, trying to locate your heartbeat again.

"It's... Love, right?" Harold asks again, noticing your pink cheeks. He could always read you like an open book. "Oh, what have I told you after the last time?" A heavy sigh escapes him.

You break the eye contact with him, looking at your feet. The mattress next to you dips, and your face is pulled into your dad's chest. "I know. But it's different. It won't be like the last time." You whisper, your shoulders rigid and unable to release the tension. 

"I want to believe it. But I have a feeling that this time it will be worse."

"No, I promise."

"You don't have to promise me anything. Promise to yourself." He rubs your shoulder with the free hand, thinking over his next words. "Listen, I know that it never worked out with Robert... Although I really wish it did. But I'm not gonna press you this time."

"Who are you and what did you do to my father?" You pull away to look him in the eyes and he wipes the tears from your face.

"I want what's best for my only daughter."

Matt furrows his eyebrows. So many questions and no answers. He understood that the past is better left behind, but not knowing a lot about you was frustrating. 

*** 

The dinner was nice. Apart from the occasional glares thrown at you and Matt from one of the three. You sat next to Matt, who was seated right across Robert, next to your father, facing you, and your mother by his side. Robert was acting like a real man should - he listened, asked questions, commented something on the game that was shown on TV; to a mere watcher, it would've looked like Robert and Matt got along just perfectly. But the tension was hanging thickly around them, as you suspected it would.

Your father was mostly silent, but when he talked, he only asked questions. Questions you didn't particularly enjoy. When you told him about the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, now crowned as Daredevil, about how the whole gang of Nelson and Murdock put the city's biggest criminal behind the bars and accidentally let it slip that you've been poisoned, your father almost choked on the apple pie. Of course, the lecture about being more cautious was inevitable, even in front of a guest, but when Matt placed his warm hand on your knee for reassurance, you felt grateful to have him here with you. 

"Do you agree with this devil, Matthew?" Your mother asks, pouring herself a glass of water. You notice her hands slightly shaking. Obviously, no mother wants to hear about their child getting hurt; not even when that child is a 30-year-old lawyer.

"As a lawyer - no." Matt's voice is firm, he doesn't stutter like he did when Karen asked his opinion about the vigilante for the first time, although it wasn't nice to lie about himself. "As a citizen, a blind one too, I think he's doing a lot more good than wrong. I mean, he has saved y/n, and our secretary, more than once."

"By disobeying and breaking multiple rules." Robert speaks from behind a cup, sending you 'is this guy serious' look.

"Well, you can't have something good without a bit of bad." Matt responds, and you bite away a grin, giving Robert a glare back. 

"Sounds a lot like church teaching." 

"Well, I am catholic." Matt answers to Robert.

"So as a catholic, you believe in his doings?" Your mother asks again. The question hangs in the air for a while, accompanied by the sound of intense commentating on TV.

"Please, let's not involve religion at this table." You groan slightly. 

"No, I wanna hear his opinion." You look at Robert threateningly, but he avoids your eyes. 

"Yeah, I mean... He's not killing people... From what I've heard. Just... Beats them up and gives them to police."

"So what you're saying..." your father clears his throat, "is that police are not capable of dealing with the criminals... and they need another criminal to help them?"

Ah, the police way of talking. You knew this was coming sooner or later. Maybe bringing Matt here was a mistake.

"I usually don't doubt honest work of police officers but-"

"Fisk had at least half of the precinct paid off. I saw FBI arresting them." You help Matt, suddenly feeling the need to defend him from your family's sharp words. You two against the whole world.

"All the good men then left, I see." Harold clears his throat again, this time more embarrassed than confident, "when I was Chief Officer, anyone who was bribed was kicked out of the force... by me. Personally. I guess a lot has changed, in almost ten years."

"Why did you leave the force?" Matt risks a lot with this question, and suddenly everyone at the table tense. You gulp loudly beside Matt, panic evident in your eyes when they meet your father's tired ones. Your mother focuses on the glass of water in her hand, not making eye contact with anyone. Robert notices your eyebrow slightly twitching when you look at Camilla, something about your face now was different; you looked paler, more tired, as if these were your last moments on Earth. He knew some of it, the story, the real reason, but after the time when he asked for more details and was met with your furious father, he didn't dare to look for more details anymore. What he knew, was half of the truth, and frankly, it was enough for him. It was the same for your mother, yet she learned to be humble and silent about it. 

The question hangs heavily in the air, until your father replies, "Uh, just encountered some personal... Health problems."

He's lying. Too obvious for someone who previously worked in the force. Harold's heartbeat is all over the place, loudly pounding in Matt's ears. As is yours. Something about this was not right, suspicious.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Matt sends a small apologetic smile towards your dad, his hand finding your knee under the table again. You almost flinch, but then quickly cover it up with a cough. Your skin somehow feels both hot and cold at the same time, and Matt feels the sudden tensing of your body. "If you were still a captain, none of that mess with Fisk would've ever happened." 

"Don't be so sure, Matthew." Harold's voice is low, with a note of regret, "from what I've heard now, he's worked hard in the shadows to lure powerful people and built his empire from scratch. A man like this is very dangerous and hard to capture."

"But not impossible." Matt strives to bring positivity back on the table, but this appears to be impossible.

"Matthew, take no offense, but you're too catholic for your own good." Harold answers, and you know that this is his final word in this talk.

The men return from the backyard, and you can only guess what they talked about the whole time they were gone. You pass Matt in the corridor, grazing his hand with your fingers as you go and make way towards the bathroom to wash your face. A minute later, someone slips inside, and you think that it's Matt, but when you lift your head to grab a towel, you see Robert standing in the middle of the bathroom, his arms crossed on his chest. 

***

You help your mother get the guest room ready, exchanging only few words. She likes Matt, admits it herself, but doesn't dare to comment anything else. Mother's intuition was telling her that you didn't bring Matt here to simply make a blind man's lonely holiday better, perhaps you wanted to introduce him as your boyfriend, but didn't dare to do so when Robert was in the house. She also liked Robert, he was almost like a son to her, visiting them ocassionally since highschool, he wasn't a rare sight in this house, but... Maybe it was time to move on. For everyone. Camilla knew that if Robert continues coming here, you'll become a rare sight. In her heart, she wanted what's best for you, her dearest daughter, but she also knew about your tough character and how easily you can break apart when you're hurt.

"Occupied." 

"Well, then you should've locked the door." His voice is nonchalant, you notice that he's already changed his clothes, ditched the long sleeved shirt for an old police academy t-shirt. He looks as if he was trying to flex his biceps in front of you, but the thought of that makes you grin. Matt definitely had a stronger body than this Sheriff wannabe.

"Not my fault that there's an idiot in the house."

"Classic y/n." He scoffs, leaning on the door with his whole back. "So, this guy, a new toy of yours?"

"Do I hear jealousy, Robert?"

He ignores your question, going on a ramble, "see, this is why some people think of you as a whore, going around, playing men and then leaving them when you get bored. Even at the dinner table you two can't keep your hands to youself, huh? Are you two fucking?"

"I fuck whomever I want. And it's no concern of yours." You say, leaning on the sink.

"Have you forgotten about us? How good it felt when we were together?" He says, his back still pressed against the bathroom door, keeping the maximum distance in the small space.

"Maybe it felt good for you, but you've never even bothered to ask if it felt good for me." You bite, watching his eyes widen in shock... Or shame.

"Oh please, if someone had heard us, they would've thought that I was the best man on the planet with the way you were screaming."

"Maybe I was screaming because I disliked it? How can you know when you've always turned away to sleep or left after you were done rutting your dick into me?" You wave your hands in front of you in a dirty gesture, noticing Robert's clenched jaw.

"He's gonna break your heart. Like you did mine. I just hope the pain is even worse for you than it was for me."

"I broke your heart? Please." You scoff, crossing your arms, "when I told you about my problem, you basically vanished."

"I needed some time to think, but I still wanted you. I still do." His voice is desperate and it makes you sick.

"Oh, save it for some other poor soul, you just wanted to get me pregnant but when the doctors said that it's impossible, you threw me away like a dirty rag. That's all you wanted - to have nice little children, and not because you loved me, but because you were so obsessed with my father that you wanted a connection between the two of you!" Your voice gets louder and Robert glances at the door nervously.

"I don't need any children to have a connection with your father. I already have it." He boasts, so sure of his place in this house that if he hated you, he would have the power to banish you from here. But he didn't. Deep in his heart, there we still strong feelings for you.

"Oh, right, I forgot that you are the son he wished to have, and not me, the daughter who's whoring around every man she sees, right?" Your voice is strong, displaying years of suppressed anger and not being loved enough in your own home. "Do you know how hard it was for me to be with you after all that I went through? How your touch made me flinch? And you have the audacity to come here to my parent's house and say that you want me back? Don't you understand the reason I left you the second time?" You desperately grab onto the sink with your palms and take deep breaths.

"You said you were better, how was I supposed to read your goddamn mind?" He shouts, and suddenly you feel like you've travelled back in time, before you were even a lawyer, and were arguing about the same things with Robert.

"I said I was better because I was, the therapy was helping, but I wasn't feeling well with you around. You're just... Too similar to him."

"If you think that I'm similar to that psychopath, you're not better than him yourself."

"You-" you grab a tube of body lotion from the sink and throw it at Robert, hitting him in the chest. "Get out of my sight before I throw something sharper than this fucking lotion!"

"You will fuck this up, whatever you two have going on, it's doomed." He leaves the bathroom, closing the door loudly.

*** 

An hour later you're gently knocking on Matt's door, hoping to disappear from the corridor before Robert or your father see you. Robert was staying in the room next to this, and he could exit any moment. Matt opens quickly, much to your luck, a confused look on his face. Without words, he lets you inside. 

"Wow, that is really dark, I gotta," you walk towards the corner of the room and turn on a lamp. Warm yellow light fills the space, and you notice Matt's slumped shoulders. "What did they even do to you?" You say with a humourless laugh, sitting at the end of the bed. 

"Don't worry, we just chatted. What's up with you?" Matt tries to sound innocent, but he didn't know what to do with the information he overheard. He wanted to hug you, and never let you out of his embrace, but you had to tell everything you told Robert to him yourself.

"You want some?" You say, taking a sip of wine straight from the bottle. He doesn't answer, but sits next to you on the bed. "It's wine."

"Where'd you get that?"

"Stole from my parents. I need it more than they do." You push the bottle into Matt's hands, and watch him drink. "I truly hoped that this could be our escape from the problems and the whole Hell's Kitchen, but... I'm sorry it got ruined. By an obvious somebody." Your voice wavers with anger.

"It's alright. I got to spend more time with you." Matt shrugs, his knee resting against yours. 

"Aren't you just full of positivity?" You smile, honestly, for the first time this evening. "So, how bad are the first impressions?" You drink again, not letting Matt out of your sight. 

"They're good. I think your mom likes me a lot." He smiles, and you fight the urge to put your palm on his cheek. "Robert's not very talkative with me, and your dad... I think he has accepted the fact that Robert's not your boyfriend anymore."

"Ah, you know, Matt, I love your ability to see positive aspects of every shitty situation." You laugh, finally loosening up when the wine kicks in.

"You didn't tell me it was your birthday." Matt says, taking a swing from the bottle. The wine is good, not too sweet and just the right amount of sour. "Which day was it?"

"November 13th." You answer, lying on your side with your hand under your head. "I stopped celebrating a long time ago."

Matt drinks some more and puts the bottle away, lying down as well, mirroring you. "Why?"

"Got tired of all the meaningless gifts, and money. I hate when people gift money and say 'go buy whatever you want'. It just completely loses the whole birthday meaning. A gift should be something that screams 'you're on my mind' or 'this made me think of you' and not 'this is shiny and girly, I hope this will pass as a good gift'." You scoff, "One time Robert gifted me a red lipstick because he liked the color."

"Jesus, really?" Matt can't hold the laugh, and you burst out laughing as well, hiding your face in his chest. When the laughter dies, Matt's hand begins gently stroking your hair, "I would gift you the whole world if I could."

"Lying is a sin, Matthew." You smile, kissing his exposed neck. "You should be very careful with these kinds of statements. Or I might twist them around." 

He lets you kiss his neck, his jaw and his chest, but the uneasiness stirring inside of him doesn't allow Matt to fully focus on you the way he'd want to. "I overheard something... You and Robert were talking." 

The words make you stop and you look at him intently, panic setting in, "what exactly?"

Words get stuck in his throat, and Matt's face becomes red, embarassed. He should've just kept his mouth shut, but of course, the devil had to pull his tongue. "Something about pregnancy. I was just passing by and-"

"Oh, that." You close your eyes, bracing yourself. "I was planning to tell you this some time later. I didn't know how far will we go... Because no woman goes around telling that to the first guy in her bed... But I think you already deserve to know." You pause, feeling your own heart beating loudly in your ears, Matt puts his hand on yours for emotional support. He has heard every single word you and Robert said to each other, but he needed to hear it all from you. "I... I can't have children. I can't get pregnant, and... If you had thoughts about family, now it's perfect time for you to run away."

"I won't leave you, y/n." He squeezes your hand, reassuringly, "I... I don't care. Family, no family, I just want to be with you."

"Just please, don't be disappointed later when that honeymoon phase passes." You sigh.

"I won't. I promise." Matt seals his promise with a kiss, one full of love and adoration.

I love you.

***

The night felt like a fever dream for you and Matt. He kissed you the way he has never kissed anyone; his touch was like fire on your skin, exploring your body like he has already done many times before, but this time it was even more intimate. This wasn't just sex anymore; it was a feeling almost divine, as if your spirits were connecting and merging into one. You gripped the sheets, raked Matt's strong back with your nails, surely leaving long red marks, and welcomed his body weight on yours when you both came from the highest of all the highs - it was divine. When Matt continued to tightly hold your interlocked hands next to your head, and panted hot air into your neck, you didn't expect him to say the next words.

This was beyond the description of 'divine' and all the other words that were used to describe a feeling out of this planet. This was something else, something unreal, a thing one so madly in love longs to hear, dreams, expects and waits for... Yet is never ready when these words are said aloud.

If you didn't have to be quiet, you'd surely would have been laughing into his strong, hairy chest, pressing his body into yours a million times until you wouldn't have been able to move a single muscle. But you couldn't. So you showered Matt with kisses, feeling your lips uncomfortably tingling, and swollen, and told him the same three words back.

It was a fever dream, and you both were sick with the worst disease ever - love.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I'm so tired. I feel like my whole life I've been fighting to have a healthy relationship with food and my body, and I just can't do it anymore. I can't fight anymore. And it's so, so easy in comparison to restrict and obsess over tracking everything I eat

I'm dealing with symptoms of a currently unknown disability right now, and I'm so tired. I'm tired of doctors saying "wow, I have no idea what's going on, I've never seen labs like this... but I'm sure losing weight will help!" (Or, worse, "looks like everything's fine, just lose some weight!") It's become this belief that if I was skinny my symptoms would be taken seriously. If I was skinny I'd be able to figure out what was going wrong because doctors wouldn't rely on my weight to explain everything. I know logically there are lots of disabled people who are still ignored while being skinny, who still struggle to be taken seriously, but I can't shake this feeling that everything would be easier if I was skinny

It feels like my life is in the hands of people who don't give a shit about me. And they still probably wouldn't give a shit if I was skinny, but maybe they would. I don't know, I've never been skinny, so I can imagine that everything would be perfect if I was

It's definitely at least partially a desire to have control over my body, too. I can't stop my symptoms, I don't have the tools to figure out what's wrong on my own, but I can starve myself! It seems very silly written out, and it is, but knowing it's silly isn't enough

I saw in your about that you've dealt with comorbid chronic illness and eating disorders, so I guess I'm asking... how? That's probably already on your blog somewhere, actually, so I guess I'm just venting more than anything. Advice would be appreciated, though

God, I feel this so hard, anon. So so hard.

First of all, I am so sorry I have taken so long to get to this ask. Work, ny studies, and my personal life have all been overwhelming lately and I’ve been having to focus on some wellness work for myself.

But yeah. What you’re talking about is a REAL problem, and you are not alone. And the constant medical neglect of fat people and the “I’m sure all your mystery symptoms will go away if you just lose weight” is just the cherry on top of the shit sundae that is chronic illness. It hurts peoples’ lives. It can kill. I don’t have a quick fix for this system, anon, but I just wanted to take a moment to validate you because I know that what you’re going through is so frustrating and draining and soul-sucking. I am mentally sending you strength.

First of all, I might have one suggestion for you: lie. Lie to your medical professionals about just one thing, and no other: tell them you are already on a weight-loss journey, even if you are not. If it gets you the help you need in this system - yeah, fib a little. But then, explain to your doctors that the reason you are seeking treatment for your symptoms so proactively is that they are preventing you from doing what you need to do to lose weight. Yes, of course you really want treatment to improve your basic quality of life, but when you’re talking to your doctor, sometimes you gotta frame it in a way they’ll hear. Explain how each symptom has made you unable to pursue an active lifestyle. Or how you’ve been too fatigued to meal prep, or how your symptoms are costing you so much that you are struggling to budget for dietary changes. You don’t have to actually be planning any of these things, but if it gets them to continue pursuing the source of your symptoms, just lie. I know it’s so triggering and awful to have to do this just to get taken seriously, so set aside time to prioritize something that you find self-caring after this.)

I know you say your desire to control your body seems silly written out, but it’s not silly at all. I get it. I really really do because I have the same impulse. When your body keeps acting out of your control in painful ways, it’ll make you desperate. And when you’ve had the message pushed your whole life that being skinny fixes everything, it tends to stick in your mind. You are not alone. You are desperate and being driven by a valid impulse.

Instead of pursuing an eating disorder, remind yourself that eating disorders only give you the illusion of control. Eating disorders only pave the way for the disorder to get more control over you. Not to mention, starving yourself will likely take even more of a toll on your health, doing lasting damage if you lose a significant amount of weight from starving. You are allowed to love yourself more than that. I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard to keep fighting for yourself.

Are you in any chronic illness support groups, online or in person? If you aren’t, I suggest you find some. You may find a good outlet to vent about symptoms, get advice on what got doctors to take other people seriously, and learn more about your own symptoms.

While I don’t recommend starving yourself, you could try tracking your symptoms in relation to certain foods and see if specific food sensitivities worsened them (this was true for me.) For me personally, it helps to remind myself that these foods aren’t “bad” foods - they’re just not good FOR ME, and choosing the ones that make me feel better is a way of taking care of and loving my body. (If you find your symptoms do not change based on dietary experimentation, you can disregard this advice.) For me, it can be really triggering having to avoid certain foods, so I definitely have to take a pause to calm down and talk myself through it sometimes.

Things like meditation exercises, gentle yoga, de-stressing exercises and therapy will not cure your chronic health condition, but may help keep symptoms from spiking as badly because stress is known to exacerbate physical symptoms. (Easier said than done, I know - what you’re going through is stressful. I am not telling you not to feel stressed, just to try and create small pockets of time where you try to give yourself a break from stress, which may not come naturally and may be hard because you cannot go to a place of escaping your symptoms. Just keep trying patiently and be compassionate with yourself.)

Anon, I really really hope this gives you some sort of help and comfort, even though it’s not a cure-all and I did get to it so late. There’s more I could say based on knowing specific symptoms if you’re okay sharing them, but for now I’ll just leave it at this. Feel free to vent in my inbox any time.

[candied-boys]

🍯 Honey Cakes 🍯

Luke Randolph x fem! Reader

Tags: merpeople au, lazy!Luke, happy!Luke, possessive!Luke, romance, picnics, cottagecore, eventual smut, happy ending

Part three

2,400 words

The muggy heat of July isn't as bad now that you've learned how to not drown. It wasn't easy being taught by someone born in the water though. Luke couldn't understand why you kept kicking your feet to stay afloat, but after you swallowed too much water down the wrong pipe he finally stopped trying to get you to swim with your legs locked together and taught you how to swim like a frog.

You may not be elegant, and you never had a hope of keeping up with him anyway, but when you tire he supports you — letting you rest your head in his shoulder like the first day or lie atop his chest while he floats on the surface like your own personal raft.

Some days you spend the whole afternoon in the cool depths of the lake; dancing where he twirls you around in the water, having splash fights that he invariably wins, playing hide and seek in which you're always it and wind up scared half to death every time Luke sneaks up behind you to pull you under when you take too long to find him.

Other days you lie on the picnic blanket, sunbathing by the shoreline together or drying out after a swim like today. No matter what you're doing the space between you is always filled with sweet nothings and curious banter.

“How long can you stay out of the water?”

“I’m not a fish. I wunna ever die.”

“Really? But your tail…”

“It’s just more comfortable to keep it in the water, but birds and turtles dunna die ‘cause they spend time on land. We’re the same. It’s just dangerous cause y’ silly humans’re so greedy,” he scolds playfully and pokes your nose.

“Very greedy. I want to keep you all to myself,” you smile and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down over you.

“Good — ‘cause that's what I want too. I wanna be the only one who knows what y’ feel like to hold close… the only one who gets to see how hazy y’r eyes get when y're kissed… the only one who knows where y're sensitive…”

Like a twilight sky his eyes darken with each honey coated word. Slipping a hand beneath your knee he continues, “And I wanna know more… I wanna know whether y'll whimper or whine, whether y'll shake or arch with tension, and whether y'll dig y’r nails into my skin or melt under my touch.”

Nose to nose, his breath is shallow as it caresses your cheeks.

“I wanna know what y’r bare skin feels like pressed against mine. I wanna memorize every inch o’ y’r body with my hands… inside ‘n out…”

As your lips slot together, his hand wanders higher beneath the hem of your chemise. Calloused and rough, the pads of his fingers scrawl his affection into your skin as they trail along your inner thigh.

Relaxing under his weight where he pins you to the ground, you let your hands explore his body. There is much you too long discover — whether his soft, slow drawl will deepen with desire, whether his eyes will close with pleasure or hold fast to yours, whether his skin tastes sweet with lake water or salty from the sun. A thousand temptations swirl in your mind when his tongue entwines with yours.

But suddenly he breaks away, his mild gaze hardening as it slides from you to glare at the side.

An annoyed growl tainting his usually gentle tone, he snaps, “Jin, whady’ want? I’m busy.”

“Yeah, you look real busy, Luke,” a deep voice replies from afar.

“F’ck off,” he quips lazily and looks back over his shoulder while still keeping you hidden beneath his torso.

“Oi, be nice to your big brother!”

“I am bein’ nice. Now, get lost,” Luke replies, turning his gaze back to you in hopes of more kisses.

“C’mon. Not gonna introduce me to your girlfriend? It’s not like she’s a secret when you come home covered in her scent every day.”

“Nope. Not sharin’. She’s mine,” he returns with acid on his tongue and a sugary gaze only for you.

“Hey, I’d never steal a girl from the baby prince. I just want to see how pretty she is.”

“Prince?” you repeat baffled.

“Yeah, it's no big deal,” he says petting your cheek before growling back at Jin. “You wouldna, but y’ wouldna keep y’r mouth shut about her neither. Then, I’d have to fend off the other family slut.”

“Oh, you could take him with your eyes closed and your hands tied behind your back. What are you worried about? None of the others are going to go after her.”

“The girls like him for a reason,” he mumbles to no one in particular.

“How many brothers do you have?” you query after processing 'others’.

“Eight, but the only decent one is the oldest one over here buttin’ in. Seriously, Jin. Beat it!” he drawls in exasperation and splashes the water with his tail.

You hear a faint hum of a amusement before the silky voice counters, “You know you're not supposed to be up here. I won't tattle to the king if you introduce me.”

Rolling his eyes where he hovers above your form, Luke answers, “There's no way Chev doesna already know where I am 'n what I'm doin’. Y’ know that as well as anybody.”

“Sure, but if I mention it, he might not let you get away with this anymore.”

Bolting upright he demands, “Since when do y’ blackmail me?!”

“Since when are you so heartless to your dearest brother?”

You can hear the faux hurt in his voice and giggle, “Is it really that big of a deal, Luke?”

Whipping back to you, palm on your cheek and eyes full of emotion, he defends himself, “Yes! Y're adorable! If they get one look, they'll all be comin’ after y’!”

“Oh, you're right. She is adorable,” the older one purrs, suddenly right next to you, lying on his side with his chin propped up on his palm.

Startled, you find yourself already hidden beneath Luke.

“Y're scarin’ her,” he hisses low, a sound in the back of his throat you've never heard before.

Curious to see another real merman, you turn your head and peek through the gap in the crook of Luke's elbow.

“Hi beautiful,” he grins down at you and winks.

His unbelievably mesmerizing orbs of polished copper make you wonder if all merpeople have eyes like precious gemstones.

“Hi,” you answer shyly and wriggle out from beneath Luke's heavy form.

Your boyfriend groans in annoyance, letting you out of his makeshift cage, but still keeping you within his protection — arms and tail wrapped around you from behind and his chin resting in the crook of your neck.

“See? She's not scared - are you, gorgeous?” He smiles broader at you before flicking Luke in the forehead. “Quit your glaring. I'm not going to touch her.”

Luke only growls in response, no doubt his eyes burning all the more with displeasure from behind you.

Free to satisfy your curiosity you let your gaze wander from the man's copper eyes, across his luxuriously dark skin, down his sculpted torso, and along his golden tail.

“You two look nothing alike. Is that normal for mersiblings?” you query up at Luke who is now pouting upon catching you eye up his brother.

With a huff he explains, “We're half siblings. Same father, different mothers. All my siblings have different mothers except my sister. She's got a different father.”

“When are you going to introduce me to her? You promised, Luke…” you pout back as you recall the day he told you all about how much he adores Leyla.

Luke probably wouldn't have ever come up to the surface to cure his boredom if she wasn't at that age where other boys are more fun to spend time with than her doting — read overprotective — older brother.

“Yeah, when're y’ gonna introduce me, Luke?” a sweet voice sings from the water.

“Oi!! Y’ know y're not allowed up here!” Luke snaps as he sits upright once more, this time yanking you along with him.

You've waited months to meet her and can't resist waving excitedly at the enchanting mermaid bobbing in the water not far away. She smiles brightly and returns the gesture before swimming over.

“You must be Leyla! I've heard so much about you,” you babble enthusiastically and introduce yourself.

Over your shoulder you hear Luke growl again at his brother, “If y’ put her up to this, Jin, I swear—”

“He didna do nothin’, Luke. Calm down.”

“See,” the golden tailed brother affirms with a sly grin to match the cheeky look in her pair of golden eyes identical to his. It makes you suspect the whole thing was her idea to begin with.

Clicking his tongue Luke gives in, “Alright. Alright. Now, y’ got y’r introduction. What more d’y want?”

“I wanna go for a swim together!!” Leyla chirps and looks right at you.

Luke's gaze turns to you too, silently asking if you feel comfortable swimming on your own. You nod confidently, and with a reluctant sigh he frees you from his strong embrace and watches you slip into the water.

As you swim away leisurely Leyla keeps pace with you, asking you all kinds of things about life on land. Her honest smile is exactly like her brother's and so is her straightforward curiosity. Her laugh is as bright as a wind chime when you tell her about your first encounter with Luke.

“Y’ know, he's so much happier these days — since he met y’, I mean. He's always only had me. I've been surrounded by affection from my parents, him, and my friends… but he's never cared for no one else, and nobody’s ever cared about him neither. I'm really relieved he found someone he can open his heart to.”

“Mmm…” you hum neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

“Y’ dunna sound like y’ believe me…”

Staring down into the black depths of the lake beneath your feet you decide to confide in her.

“I know the lake will freeze over and the days will be too short to come visit soon…”

“And?” she coaxes gently.

“And I'm worried I'll miss him so much I'll cry all day and Mrs. Baker will get mad at me for making the bread soggy,” you try to laugh but choke on your emotions instead.

“He's gonna miss y’ just as much. I'm sure o’ that,” Leyla coos, tilting her head to look up into your eyes with the same long lashes and warmth to her gaze as Luke's.

“But he hasn't said anything about winter yet… and I'm starting to think that it's selfish of me to want him to wait… to keep him to myself… I think he'd be happier with someone he can spend the whole year with…”

“Well, all us merfolk sleep through the winter, so he wouldna be awake to be with no one else anyways. But more importantly, I think he doesna want no one else…”

“You really think so? I'm not just the new pastry in the shop window?”

“I don't really know what that's suppos’a mean, but if y're worried he's with y’ ‘cause y're different, y're not wrong. He is with y’ ‘cause y're different, but not ‘cause o’ the novelty. 'Cause y’re what let's him be himself,” she smiles.

All the while a different conversation ebbs and flows out of earshot between the two brothers.

“I'm worried about you, Luke.”

Flopping back down on your sheet and plucking a stem of sweetgrass Luke doesn't answer.

“It's the first time since you came to the palace two years ago that I've seen you open up to anyone…”

“And?”

“And it's obvious you really like her.”

The only response the older brother gets is an unintelligible grumble as Luke chews the rapier between his teeth.

“Have you told her yet?”

“Told her what?”

“That she'll be alone all winter while we hibernate?”

A sigh punctuates the silence before he answers, “Nah. She'll forget me soon enough. There’re plenty o’ better men out there.”

“So you're just going to let her walk away? Is that what you really want?”

“What I want dunna matter. She deserves someone who can be by her side all the time, not someone stuck in a lake who canna even look after her.”

“Well, what if that's not what she wants?”

“Whad’y mean not what she wants? It's what's best for her,” Luke snaps back, jade finally meeting amber.

“I think what's best for her is up to her to decide, Luke, not you. The only part you get a say in is whether or not you're going to be honest with yourself and her about how you feel.”

“The hell am I suppos’a tell her? Dunna worry about the royal guards arrestin’ y’; just chop down a few trees and build a hut by y’rself on the edge of the lake so y’ can stay with me forever — except y'll be alone every damn winter because I'll be sleepin’, so sorry I canna even bring y’ fish to eat. See y’ see next spring! That's just the stupidest thin’ I ever heard, Jin!”

“Leyla said you've been spending your nights in the caverns reading through the ancient texts carved into the walls. I know what you're looking for. If you like her that much she deserves to know, Luke.”

“I'm not tellin’ her nothin’, so just drop it.”

Part five

[keo-k]

sometimes i think i wasnt an injury-prone child and then i realise im gaslighting myself

tw: fair descriptions of injury?? if you dont like blood uhh dont read <3 this is just me reminiscing on being a child who thinks they cannot feel. pain. sorry if its incoherent im very sick and life feels like a fever dream and i did not sleep last night! this is so diary-entry-core TLDR i had a lot of random injuries and a few medical mysteries.

i keep looking at the middle of my chest like "man where the fuck did i get this scar from" and then i remember this one childhood day where i was filled with hubris and slid down a chain in a playground and my skin tore from under my shirt and i started bleeding terribly ill also occasionally look at the permanent callouses on my hands and remember running down a hill at full speed, followed by rolling down a hill at full speed, crashing into rocky concrete, looking down at my hands and being utterly terrified because they're entirely covered in blood???? its all red??????? also spinning on the biggest rock in the rock garden in front of my house after a friend's birthday party blowing bubbles when i lose my footing and land chin-first into the sharpest rock there, getting blood all over my favourite party dress and having to go to the ER for 6 hours and getting, not stitches, but glue. yeowie. i scratched most of the scar off somehow, just tearing the skin off my face because i didnt like the texture. its still kind of there if you look at the right angle. being in gymnastics class, doing beat swings on the high bars, thinking "whey my hands hurt im gonna drop and get some chalk (for some reason. its not like i was slipping i was just yeowch)", dropping down, looking at my hands and LO AND BEHOLD three inches of the skin beneath my ring finger on both hands is sticking up stupid vertical ! i couldnt use my hands too good for the next two weeks, also the skin sticking up WAS NOT DEAD so i couldnt trim it without feeling excruciating pain. like cutting your ear off :( not really a "when i was younger" thing, still valid now, but i have hyper mobility so im stupid flexible. especially in my ankles! like i cant do sports without wearing ankle braces on both legs. even that cannot save me sometimes, i still die. anyway my mum thought i was a piece of shit and was faking my ankle injuries bc the limping would last like. a whole month wowie! then we realised i just have bad joint. also i can hit the splits anywhere without stretching, i can walk on the literal sides of my ankles (not like. the sides of my feet no no no. go even further beyond.), i can fold my fingers backwards into silly lookin curls without any pain and keep them there no issue, and i have gotten many MANY greenstick fractures even after my bones developed a lot because my bones soft and refuse to break like a normal persons. like my basketball coach will bend my leg back to test how far it goes and i wont feel any pain and he'll say like. "oh thats waaaay too far back to be safe." and ill laugh because it can go WAY further back! and i hate it !

BONUS: ME BEING A MEDICAL MYSTERY WOOOOO up to age 8 i would have these ... seizures? all throughout the night. i would shake super aggressively and it wouldnt wake me up. my mum filmed it one night when she finally caught it on video (she would stay up HOURS ON END trying to catch it. wild). the shaking would start like a twitching at my fingers and would travel to my hand, to my arm, to the rest of my body and youd think i got fucking electrocuted. anyway she showed it to doctors and they brought me in immediately to scan my brain for fuck knows what and they didnt. find anything? like my brain activity was completely normal. they didnt let me out of hopital for a week cus theyre like "THIS ISNT NORMAL SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS KID" but. womp womp. we never found out. i dont shake anymore but i do shmove a lot. like, a lot a lot. and im always tired and im capable of falling asleep standing up. and have minor chronic fatigue. also i had a bullseye-type thingy on my thigh that really, REALLY looked like a tick bite! i was in immense amounts of pain and couldnt properly walk. there was a dot in the middle, and this surrounding ring of red would expand and shrink overtime. very reasonable to think of it as a tick bite. anyway my parents carried me out to the car in the middle of the night so we could go to sick kids. they measured how much the ring would expand by (i dont remeber number. it was beeg.) and then they sent me to the ER out of the concern that i would get lyme disease. they tested me or something idk i was unconcious and. IT WASNT A TICK BITE! you may be asking "so what was it, mr gorgeous fish?" um. well heres why this is in the 'medical mystery' section. they never found out. it went away a day later and we were just like "ah. okay." so. whoops. when i was a toddler they put me in an mri thing where they uh. strapped me down because toddlers usually freak out and damage the mri thingy? anyway. was in there for two hours. and i did not freak out. at all. i was asleep for one of the hours, but the second one i just laid there very awake and very still and the doctors thought i had brain. damage. i didnt! yay ! i also have many chronic illness now. weeeee i probably missed a lot of my stories here but anyway. heres me being silly

[legolasbadass]

Office Hours, Part 19

Summary: Lorelei Browning has just secured a job as an assistant professor at Exeter College in Oxford. Naturally, she is eager to prove herself and meet every challenge sent her way, but what she does not expect is the tall, handsome stranger who will quickly become much more than a colleague…

Relationship: Richard Armitage x OC (Professor AU)

Word Count: 3.5k

Rating: E 

Read on AO3

The heels of my boots clank against the ancient wooden floor as I rush through the hallway on my way back to my office after class. It’s always difficult to get back into the rhythm of university after a few weeks of rest, and only two seminars into the semester, I already long for the next break. With an internal sigh, I shake my head; I don’t want to sound so ungrateful—even if only to myself—for this opportunity which I dreamt of my whole life. But I am tired, and I know that is partly due to the morning’s stress, which, thankfully, left my body after the kisses Richard and I shared in the Fellow’s Garden earlier. 

It’s raining now, large, unrelenting drops pelting against the windows like the incessant clicking of keyboards in a library during exam season. A pale, grey light fills my office as I step inside and drop my heavy books and notes onto my desk, but the atmosphere is quickly brightened by Natasha’s cheery voice as she greets me with a kind smile.

“Hey there!” 

“Oh, hey, Natasha! How are you—and how was your break?”

“Not bad, not bad,” she says, nodding repeatedly. “Lots of eating and sleeping and procrastinating. You?”

“Not bad either. Oh, I finished my book—approved by reviewers and off to the printer!”

“Well, now you’re just making me feel bad about myself,” Natasha replies jokingly, causing me to chuckle. “That's amazing, Lorelei, congratulations! I’m really looking forward to reading it.”

“Thank you!” I say, immensely grateful to have the support of a colleague I look up to so much. 

We sit side by side on the table in the middle of my office—which I cleared of most books and notes that had been scattered over it since December—and get to work on the preparations for our conference. We still need to select the final speakers and take care of some organizational details, but only an hour later, I can tell that neither of us is in the right frame of mind for this today. 

“How can it be the first day of the term and we’re already exhausted and overwhelmed?” I muse as I rub my temples. 

“Well, that’s a constant for me,” Natasha chuckles. “But don’t worry, it gets better. Your first few years are unbelievably hectic because you’re attending as many conferences as you can and writing as many papers and books as is humanly possible, but you can allow yourself to slow down with time. Trust me.” 

“Thanks—I needed that,” I say with a sigh of relief. 

“And when things get a little too crazy, I just remind myself that at least I’m not preparing for the All Souls entry exam.” 

“Oh, God, yeah,” I reply, shuddering at the mere thought of that dreadful exam, which is widely accepted to be the most difficult in the world. 

“Plus, it’s hard work, yes, but it’s not all bad….” Natasha says, leaning forward ever so slightly. 

“True! I wouldn’t want to give up this job for anything!”

Natasha nods, still eyeing me intently, and I frown, wondering what’s on her mind. I don’t have to speculate over that very long, however, for she suddenly drops all the papers that were in her hands and says, “Okay, I’m sorry! I wasn’t going to say anything but I’m dying here! Are the rumours true?” 

“Yes, it’s true! The vegetarian sausage roll is back at the cafe downstairs!” I answer playfully.

Natasha chuckles and shakes her head. “I meant you and Richard, silly!” 

“Oh, that rumour,” I reply, then smile brightly, unable to stop myself. “Yes, it’s true.” 

“Yes!” she exclaims, and her smile widens. “Oh my god, I’m so happy for you two!”

I smile along with her, but a flicker in her eyes confirms my suspicions. “You already knew, didn’t you?”

“I did….” she replies sheepishly, biting her lips. “I’ve known since Richard went to that conference in Bath—well, you know the one, you were there.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask, thinking back to that rainy December day when everything went wrong between Richard and me. 

“Well, I knew you hadn’t told anyone, so I figured you didn’t want anyone to know, for whatever reason. It wasn’t my place to say anything.” 

“Thank you for that,” I say with a smile. 

Smiling in return, she nods. “So, how are things between you? If you don’t mind me asking,” she hastens to add, though I can tell how much she longs to know. 

“Everything is good—perfect, actually,” I reply, and I don’t notice how much I’m smiling until she points it out to me. 

“Your eyes light up when you talk about him,” she says, and my cheeks burn all the more. “I noticed that last semester, but I told myself I must be imagining things.” 

A sudden knock on the door interrupts our conversation, and I turn around to find Richard standing in the doorway, a pile of worn paperbacks tucked in the crook of his arm as he offers me a lopsided grin. 

“Ah, speaking of Prince Charming!” Natasha says teasingly, causing me to giggle and Richard to raise his eyebrows. 

“I’m a bit old to be prince charming, I think,” Richard says, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. I frown, feeling saddened by his insecurity, but I don’t say anything in Natasha’s presence. 

Natasha makes another joke to lighten the mood, then picks up her things and wishes us a good afternoon before leaving for her next class. Once we’re alone, Richard locks the door, then drops his books onto my desk and pulls me close, allowing me to slip my hands into his blazer and wrap my arms around his waist. The lines on the corners of his blue eyes appear soft in the pale grey light as I gaze up at him. 

“Hey—you’re not too old to be my prince charming,” I say with a small chuckle despite how cheesy I know these words sound. 

Richard smiles, but a frown still marks his forehead, and his eyes seem distant. I’m about to ask him what’s bothering him when he explains himself. “I overheard other professors talking and they said they were surprised to hear we were together because—well because they think I’m too old for you.” 

Sighing in annoyance, I unconsciously tighten my hold on him. “Fuck them,” I say without hesitation. “It’s none of their business—and you’re not too old for me. I love you, Richard—I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. Your age won’t ever change that.” 

“I know, and I’m sorry; I shouldn’t worry about that, but hearing them say it like that … I don’t know. You might not think I’m too old for you now, but what happens when I’m 70 and you’re only 51?” 

“I’ll be really happy and love you even more because that would mean we’ve been together 22 years!” I reply earnestly with a smile, my heart fluttering at the thought of spending my whole life with him. 

Richard’s eyes soften, and he pulls me even closer to him, his forehead coming to rest against my own. “You really mean that?” 

“Of course I mean it!” I speak softly, raising one hand to caress his beard with my thumb. “And you know, I’d pick you over guys my age any day. Now, I haven’t been with that many guys, but in my experience, you are so much more kind, thoughtful, and tender than any of them … and you’re a lot sexier, too,” I add playfully, hoping to make him smile. 

“Sexier?” he replies with a raise of his eyebrow as though doubting my word. 

“Oh, like you don’t know!” 

“Am I sexy enough to make you want to have sex in your office?” 

I bury my face in his shoulder and shake my head as I laugh. “You’re impossible!” I say and step out of his embrace despite the heat crawling up my neck. 

“And you’re a cruel woman,” he says, bringing a smile to my lips. “Do you want me to beg?” 

“I like you begging,” I reply teasingly as I grab the books on my desk to place them back on the bookshelves, and I recognize the unmistakable heat in his eyes as he gazes at my curves and swallows hard. “But we’re supposed to be professional, remember?” 

“We were unprofessional in here before and no one ever found out,” Richard points out in that deep, rumbling voice that turns my insides to jelly. I feel the warmth emanating from him as he moves to stand right behind me, the hem of his blazer brushing against the thin fabric of my blouse. Then he wraps one arm around my waist to pull me toward him, my bum flush against his upper thighs, while he lets his lips hover over my earlobe, causing me to shiver. 

“What is it about my office that makes you so horny?” I question with a breathless giggle as I place the last book back on its shelf. I try to turn around to face him then, but he tightens his hold on me, and the control he has over me in this position makes me shiver. 

“It has nothing to do with your office and everything to do with you and that sexy blouse you’re wearing,” he replies as he tosses my hair to the side to expose my bare neck, which I offer to his lips with a tilt of my head, but then he says, “But I guess you’re right—we don’t even have a condom, anyway.” 

I can only bite my lips in response, and heat crawls up my cheeks. Richard raises his eyebrows. “In the first side pocket in my bag,” I confess shyly.

“I’m very grateful but … why on earth did you bring condoms to work?” he asks with a chuckle as he kisses my cheek before reaching out to my bag, which, thankfully, is within reach. 

“Well … with our history, I thought it might come in handy.” 

“My, my, Professor Browning—you really are a naughty girl,” Richard says playfully. “A very prepared naughty girl.” 

 I let my head fall back and playfully slap his arm as I giggle, but any retort I might have come up with turns into a soft whimper as he starts to nibble the sensitive spot below my ear, then caresses it with the tip of his tongue. Ever since we got back together, there’s been an insatiable hunger between us, and now, after only a few salacious words whispered in my ear and his hands digging into my hips, I’m already a puddle in his arms, and we both know that, despite all my best intentions, he will soon win this familiar game. 

Ever so slowly, Richard lets one of his hands slide down my stomach before sneaking under my blouse to caress my bare skin, which erupts into goosebumps under his skilled hands. Then, while he continues to lavish kisses upon my neck, he carefully unbuttons my trousers, then slips his hand inside, his fingers brushing against the laced hem of my knickers.

“Richard … we shouldn’t …”

He leaves another wet kiss on the sensitive spot below my ear before pulling away, and I turn my head to the side just enough to meet his eyes. “We shouldn’t or you want me to stop?” 

Damn him. 

“We shouldn’t,” I repeat in a breathless voice that betrays the depth of my arousal. 

“I bet the fact that we shouldn’t do this makes you want it even more, doesn’t it?” As though to prove his point, heat floods my core at his words, and a desperate sigh tumbles from my lips. He continues to tease me by toying with the hem of my knickers for a moment before slipping his hand under the fabric, and when his fingers glide along my slick folds, he smirks in triumph. “That’s my girl.” 

A low moan escapes my lips before I can hold it back, and the next thing I know, Richard’s large hand covers my mouth, silencing me just as he circles my clit with his index finger, drawing another moan from me. Knowing there’s no point in denying him or my needs anymore, I roll my hips against his hand, desperate for more of the pleasure he sends swirling through me. All the titles and names etched into the books lined up on the shelves before me become blurred as Richard thrusts into me, the length of his hard body flush against mine, allowing me to feel his growing hardness pressing into my lower back, and I tightly grip one of the shelves to steady myself. 

My whole body hums under his touch, and it takes everything in me not to let my moans echo against the stone walls when I manage to pull myself free from the hand on my mouth to beg for more. “Please, Richard—I want to see you and kiss you….”

He presses an affectionate kiss on my cheek before withdrawing his fingers, covered in my arousal, and spinning me around, finally allowing me to see him, and the depth of his arousal—visible in his hooded eyes, parted lips, and heaving chest—makes the muscles in my core clench with need. Yet, despite the passionate intensity of the moment, we share a tender smile when I look up to meet his gaze, and his lust-darkened eyes soften, reflecting the depth of the love fluttering in my heart. I recall the last time we were here, in this position, on that rainy October afternoon, when he confessed his feelings for me. Everything was so uncertain between us back then, and I didn’t even understand my own feelings for him. Now, however, love fills each kiss, each caress, and I know that for both of us, this is so much more than a stolen, lustful moment in my office. 

Still gazing deeply into his eyes, I peel his blazer off his broad shoulders, letting it fall at our feet before allowing him to pull my trousers down my legs. Then he lifts me into his strong arms and pins me against the bookshelves, leaving me deliciously trapped in his embrace. Using his body, he demandingly spreads my thighs apart and urges me to wrap my legs around his waist, and my whimper mingles with his muffled groan when his shaft comes to rest against the most sensitive part of my body. The rest of our sounds of passion are silenced by our heated, open-mouthed kisses.  Drowning in his taste and the rough feeling of his beard against my burning cheeks, I let my hands slide down his chest and slip under his shirt to caress the bare skin just above his trousers, causing him to groan in a way that sends my every thought astray. 

Eager to feel his naked chest under my hands, I hasten to unbutton his shirt, and once all the buttons are undone, I wrap one arm around his neck and bury my fingers in his unruly curls while my other hand caresses his chest, lingering on his nipples and the patch of curls between his pectorals before slipping down toward his belt. I wince at the loud thud of his belt hitting the floor, but the stone walls are thick enough to muffle this kind of sound, and in any case, Richard’s groans in my ears make it impossible for me to even think about stopping now. 

When Richard finally enters me, he praises me in a heated whisper as I bury my head in the crook of his neck to muffle my whimpers. He allows me to adjust to his size, one hand wrapped around my waist to hold me tight against him while his other hand caresses my bare thigh, the tenderness of the touch causing me to shiver and clench around him. Richard groans in my ear, and without any hesitation, he begins to move. Instantly, he finds the perfect angle, and as he thrusts into me, he moves his hips in a circular motion so that with every thrust, he brushes against that sensitive spot on my inner walls, and my head spins with the nearly overwhelming pleasure coursing through my veins. I follow his rhythm as much as I can in this position, abandoning myself to the burning passion flowing between us, responding to his physical declaration of love with equal care and eagerness. Richard devours my lips sloppily to silence the moans he knows I cannot hold back, but when my climax washes over me, I whimper his name in his ear, and that’s when he hardens further inside me and follows me over the edge with a muffled moan. 

For a long while, our laboured breathing and the pitter-patter of the rain against the window are the only sounds in my office. Then, slowly, Richard lifts his head to meet my gaze, and we both giggle as we share a series of tender kisses. 

“I quite like breaking rules with you, Professor Browning,” he says cheekily, his nose brushing against my own. 

“The feeling is mutual, Professor Armitage,” I reply in an equally teasing tone. “But—” 

“I know, we shouldn’t be doing this,” he finishes my thought, and I bite my lips. “And I promise; I will behave in the future.” 

“You’ll behave?” I chuckle in disbelief. “I’d like to see that!” 

In response, Richard playfully spanks my bum, and I have to bite my lips to stop myself from moaning. “Careful, or I’ll have to punish you.” 

The low rumble of his voice makes me clench around him, and he groans against my lips. “Is that a promise?” I say softly and lick my lips, knowing he cannot resist that look. 

After a few more kisses, Richard pulls out and carefully sets me back on my feet. My legs shake, and I have to steady myself by leaning against my desk, causing Richard to smirk. We help each other get dressed, and once I’m tying my boots back on, I look up at Richard as he fixes the collar of his blazer. Apart from his unruly hair and the soft, satiated smile hiding under his beard, no evidence of our stolen moment can be seen in his appearance—unlike me, with my wrinkled blouse and reddened cheeks. But I don’t let my haggard appearance distract me; for a few days now, I’ve been considering something, and now seems like the perfect moment to bring it up to Richard. 

“Are you okay?” he asks as he leans against my desk and reaches out to hold my hand. “You seem distracted.”

“I think I want to go on the pill.” 

“Oh,” Richard says in surprise. “If that’s what you want, why not?” 

“It would make things easier,” I point out, and he chuckles. 

“Well, yes, it definitely would, but there’s other options we can consider. I know the pill has a lot of nasty side effects, and I certainly don’t want you to suffer just to make our sex life more convenient.” 

His words stir a wave of affection in my heart, and not knowing how to express how much his consideration means to me, I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. He wraps both arms around my waist, squeezing me tight as he presses a soft kiss atop my head. 

“Thank you,” I manage to say after a short while. “But I don’t mind going on the pill. I really don’t. I was on it years ago and it was fine.” 

“Oh, I assumed you weren’t on the pill because you didn’t want to or because it wasn’t the right solution for you,” he says while rubbing my back. 

“No, I wasn’t on the pill anymore because I was single for so long my virginity was growing back,” I joke, and the low rumbling of Richard’s laughter brings a smile to my lips. 

“You don’t have to make a decision now,” he goes on after a while, “but if going on the pill is what you really want, then I will support your decision. Not that it’s any of my business what you do with your own body, though, obviously,” he adds, and I smile. I know he doesn’t say that because he knows it’s the right thing to say but because he genuinely believes that, and I love him even more for it. “You don’t have another class, do you?”

“No, I’m done for the day.”

“So how about I drive you home so you can change and then we can go out for a bite?” 

“That sounds perfect,” I reply, and we share another tender kiss before I grab my coat and bag, and we step out of my office, though not without making sure that the hallway is clear first. A few minutes later, we walk across the misty courtyard, huddled under my umbrella, as a few rays of sun pierce through the clouds and cast their golden rays over the sandstone walls of the college.  

Taglist: @lathalea @linasofia @mcchiberry @fizzyxcustard @bitter-sweet-farmgirl @i-did-not-mean-to @xxbyimm @middleearthpixie @enchantzz @myselfandfantasy @notlostgnome @laurfilijames @swoopswishsward @quiall321 @dianakc 

Let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from my tag list or tagged in future chapters! 💙

[rosesandashs-blog]

Pride(lost in limbo)/Reader !

As you followed Pride on his heels, you couldn’t help but notice the slump in his shoulders and the way his face seemed to avoid yours. It had been quiet the whole walk and it was beginning to make you antsy.

You didn’t mind the silence, especially when it came to peace with Pride who seemed to always have something on his mind or something to do, but this felt different.

The only way to find out the root of the issue was to ask.

“Pride, darling?”

You spoke it softly in the wind, a sound that could be carried away, but Pride was much too attentive for that to happen. His steps slowed to a stop and he turned to you. He had told you previously he found it rude to not look at someone while speaking.

“Yes, my dear?”

His gaze used to be much more intimidating but now, throughout everything you’ve experienced, you can understand when exhaustion is there. What looks like age-old wisdom is little more than the tiredness of someone stretched too thin.

“Let’s take a break. My legs hurt.”

It was your way of extending an olive branch to him. If you had suggested he may be the tired one, there definitely would be too much fuss. Too much of a gentleman to “ruin” your time together. For an age old god who was the father of all, he could be quite silly.

His eyes slid over your face and you didn’t flinch at his inspection. He hummed and sat down, gesturing for you to sit near him, which you did.

“I’m alright. You don’t have to worry over me.”

“I never suggested otherwise,” you hummed thoughtfully as your hand outstretched to his head, pushing him to lean against your shoulder. To your utter surprise (and soon delight), he followed easily and without protest, “it’s just nice to slow down for a minute.”

“Yes, I…well, it is nice.”

Your fingers were already carding through his hair, sinking easily into the silky feeling. You had once said you were surprised his hair never seemed to knot and he had asked you ‘what are knots?’

Based on the twinkle in his eye, you assumed it was a joke. Or maybe that’s what he wanted you to think.

As his shoulders slumped into a less formal stature and his body leaned into your own, submitting to the idea that he could be loved and safe in his own right, that is indeed when you pounced.

“Now, are you willing to be honest with me?”

“I… am alright. I was deep in thought and I didn’t wish to disturb you with anything frivolous,” he mumbled.

“Nothing you tell me is frivolous.”

“You’ll laugh at me, the old worry I am.”

“Please. Try me.”

Pride had this issue where he clamped up occasionally, either due to the separation that came from your age or your obvious mortality. Something. It was always an obstacle.

“I was simply thinking about how I didn’t want to return. That I could just walk with you, down an endless path, and I knew it was very selfish. I don’t want you to think I don’t care about others—“

“Hm, stop right there sir. It’s not selfish to crave a break from time to time, no?”

“It is for someone like me,” he said but not in a harsh tone. More like a carefully gift-wrapped neutrality.

“Well, I selfishly want you all to myself very often. Alone and trapped with me.”

“I would never view being with you as a trap. It’s a gift to be with you. It’s a gift to be loved by you,” Pride said in a serious tone that made your face feel warmer. It was amazing how he could just say things with no lilt in his voice nor a crack.

He just loved you.

“Well, we can stay here for a bit. My legs still hurt. Hm, my shoulders too. Actually, just about everything.”

You said in a fake thoughtful tone, side eyeing the man whose head rested on your shoulder and the way he contained a chuckle at your antics.

“I don’t see anything wrong with sitting for a few minutes. To stem the soreness, of course.”

You kissed the top of his forehead and smiled at how the affection seemed to shake him slightly.

“Of course.”

// aaaa I’m so excited for lost in limbo demo to become real and true please support them on kickstarter!!

[watchmegetobsessed]

Hey Angel - Harry Styles

a/n: since i had so much time on my hand at work lately (not anymore unfortunately) i used it wisely and cooked up this PA themed fic bc i absolutely love this trope. it’s lengthy and kinda emotional? kinda, lol. hope you’ll like it and as always, feedback is much appreciated!!

warning: sexual content

word count: 11.5k

masterlist

Harry likes to pretend he is tall enough to comfortably rest his chin on the top of your head when he stands behind you, but that’s not true. He has to push himself a little to his tippy toes and push you down at the same time to fit his chin above you, his arms weighing down on your shoulders. You stopped arguing him that you need to push your hips forward when he does this so you don’t carry his whole weight.

“Tha’s rude, you do not have to do tha’!” he defended himself every time you brought up, so you just stopped.

Now as you watch the game of air hockey unfold in front of you, a half empty pint in your hand, you don’t even budge when you feel a chiseled chin resting on the top of your head, you push your hips forward without a second thought to shorten your height. You catch a glimpse of a tattooed forearm on your shoulder, Harry’s chest presses against your back gently.

He doesn’t stay in this position too long, it’s making it hard to drink so soon enough, he wraps his left arm around your shoulders, coming to stand next to you, sipping on his tequila on the rocks.

“Hey you,” you smile at him as he gives you a side look, a boyish smirk tugging on his pink lips. “Everything alright?”

“Everything is fine.”

“You need something? How much have you had to drink?” you ask furrowing your eyebrows, looking down at his glass that was certainly full when you last saw him about ten minutes ago.

“Shush, stop pretending like you’re working,” he waves at your face, his words melting together, definitely thanks to the alcohol he has consumed tonight.

“I know I’m not working, I’m just tryna’ be your friend and look out for you.” Bringing your own drink up to your lips, you give him a look, but he just smirks at you playfully.

“Uh-huh, whatever. Don’t worry about me.”

“I always worry about you, H,” you sigh dramatically and it makes him laugh with his head falling back.

“Is this the part where you tell me I’m some spoiled brat celebrity you ‘ave to babysit for your living? And that I always do ridiculous shit so you ‘ave to keep an eye on me at all times?”

You can’t push your smile down at how far this statement is from reality. You just like to tease him about being a typical, asshole rockstar when he is literally your favorite person in the world without a doubt.

“Oh Angel, you can’t fool me,” he cackles, squeezing you to his side before taking another sip from his drink.

“Wouldn’t even try to,” you mumble with an amused smile. “Havin’ fun, birthday boy?” you ask, leaning into his side. You would never admit, but you love how touchy Harry can get sometimes, not really caring about physical boundaries, especially when he drinks. The hugs, the squeezes, the touches, they always make your heart flutter even after knowing him for years.

“I’m havin’ a blast. What about you?”

“What about me? It’s not my birthday,” you chuckle shortly.

“So what? I can’t make sure you’re enjoying your night?” he frowns at you dramatically that just makes you laugh.

“I’m having a great night. It’s just that my boss keeps coming after me even though I’m supposed to be off the clock.”

You peek up at him to see the grin on his face at your teasing. The dynamic between the two of you has been like this since day one. The constant bickering and teasing is what really brought the two of you close, you are so similar, it’s like you can see a male version of yourself when you look at him.

“Tell the dude to fuck off,” he mumbles into his drink and you bump your hip against him, but he just holds you tight to his side as an answer.

Soon enough, Harry joins the game and you watch him play from the side, obviously cheering on his opponent to annoy him, earning some pretty dirty looks from him whenever they score against him and you let out a “woho!” in victory.

“Y’know, it’s not too nice to cheer against the birthday boy, is it?” he calls you out when the table is taken by someone else and he joins you at the side again.

“Am I not allowed to choose who I want to cheer to?” you ask with a faked puzzled look and he presses his lips into a thin line, glaring down at you intently.

“Don’t test me, Angel,” he grumbles into your ear before walking off to join his friends who came out to celebrate with him today.

It’s a pretty lowkey celebration, since he is still in the middle of filming Don’t Worry Darling, so he couldn’t really travel far from the set, but some of his dearest friends were able to come here and celebrate with him and his cast members.

You stand at the bar and your eyes find him every time you scan the place, not able to keep your gaze away from him for too long, he just demands the attention. Or at least yours.

You’ve never met anyone like him. When you got the chance to be his personal assistant four years ago at the very beginning of his solo career, you never thought how he’ll move right into your heart and never leave it. Whether you look at him as your boss or your friend, you can’t deny that he changed your life and you’ve learned so much from him, you can only hope he thinks of you somewhat the same. However you always tell yourself: what could you possibly give for The Harry Styles? He has everything in the whole wide world.

Harry catches you staring and he arches a brow at you, abandoning the conversation he has been in for the past minutes, mouthing you “what’s up, Angel”, his accent thick even without hearing his voice.

He’s been calling you Angel for longer than you can remember. When you asked him why the nickname, he said it’s because One Direction’s song Hey Angel was written about you. It was a fat lie, you haven’t met him when the song was written, but his words still tightened your chest, playing with the thought of Harry writing a song about you.

As cheesy and cliché as it is, you fell for him faster than you’d like to admit. You tried to fight it for a while, convince yourself it’s just a silly crush, but you soon had to realize you outgrew that after the first few weeks working with him. How could you not fall for him? He is everything any woman could wish for and he has you wrapped around his fingers, just like he has half the female population, probably.

You shake your head in his way, not sure how to tell him you just got lost in your thoughts about him. In fact, he occupies your mind pretty much all the time, but he doesn’t have to know about that.

He excuses himself from the table and walks up to you, a slow breath leaving your nose as you watch him approach you.

“Tired?” he asks, stopping in front of you, placing his empty glass to the counter.

“Kinda,” you nod.

“Want to head home soon?”

“Don’t worry about me. I can just call a taxi and go home, you don’t have to come.”

“Don’t be silly, we go to the same place, obviously we’re gonna go home together.”

Since filming has started, Harry and you’ve been sharing a nice apartment near the set. It was his idea to rent a place for the two of you, rather than to stay at a hotel. At first you didn’t think it would be a good idea, but of course, he convinced you to live with him for the months while the movie is being filmed. So now you basically live with Harry, share pretty much all your living space with him, except your bedroom.

“But it’s your birthday, stay as long as you want,” you tell him, not wanting to snatch him away from his friends on his big day.

“We’re filming in the afternoon tomorrow, can’t drag the night too long either way,” he shrugs, trying to make you believe it’s really nothing.

No matter how badly you try to convince him to stay, he doesn’t bulge and starts saying goodbye within an hour, calling the two of you a car to take you home. He is clearly tipsy, but not drunk. Once you’re in the car, Harry’s hand finds yours and he pulls you closer in the backseat until your thighs are pressed together. He curls an arm around your shoulders, holding you tight to his side, sinking down in the seat. You let your head rest on his shoulder, enjoying the closeness of his body, pressing down any worrying thought that usually makes its way to your mind every time Harry gets a little cozier than the usual.

The rational side of your brain knows you should be keeping some distance from him for the sake of your own sanity and emotional health, but you just can’t. Denying these little moments from yourself would be like pure torture and your heart can’t take that for sure.

“What are you thinkin’ about?” he murmurs, his nose nuzzling into your hair and you just shrug your shoulders.

“Nothing,” you mumble your lie.

“Liar, I can hear the gears turning in that pretty head of yours,” he grins down at you as your eyes lock for a moment. Thank God for the darkness in the car, because you can feel your cheeks heating up. The last thing you need is for Harry to see how nervous he can make you feel with just a simple compliment.

“Stop being nosy, you don’t have to know everything all the time.” You poke his side with your elbow, it makes him jump a little before he snuggles back to your side.

“That’s not true, you know I’m entitled to hold every knowledge in the world.” He tries to hide his smirk, but he fails miserably and you just laugh at him with your head falling back to his shoulder.

“Harry Styles, you are something else,” you sigh shaking your head at him.

Arriving home Harry keeps an arm around you as you walk up to the front door, fishing your keys out of your bag since you’d bet Harry didn’t bring his. There’s a chance he hasn’t even used his copy since you’ve been here, he knows you always have yours and you haven’t really left without each other so far, always staying around the other.

“Want to shower first?” he hums, walking inside, his arm leaving your shoulders and though you feel lighter without the extra weight, you wish it was still there.

“Go for it, I’m gonna clean up the mess I made when I got ready earlier,” you tell him, heading into your bedroom where the floor is littered with half your wardrobe from earlier, when you were trying to figure out what to wear for the little outing.

Harry disappears in the shared bathroom and a moment later you hear the water running. You go around your room, picking up the dresses you voted against, placing them back into the wardrobe and then you put away your makeup you left on your bed in your hurry.

“Bathroom is yours!” Harry calls out just when you finish, you hear his bedroom door open and close so you grab a clean oversized t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts before occupying the bathroom.

The warm shower feels nice, it’s been a long day since you started on set, Harry had a few scenes to film before you could leave in the afternoon. You wash away the day, scrub your makeup off and then take off the rest with your wipes once you’re out. You brush your hair and use some lotion for your dry skin before getting dressed and leaving the steamy bathroom.

Padding down the short hallway you hear nothing coming from Harry’s bedroom and you wonder if he’s already asleep, but once you step inside your room you see that he is cozied up on your bed, your covers pulled up to his naked chest, a pillow tucked under his head as he scrolls through his phone so shamelessly, as if it was his own room.

“Did you take the wrong turn in the hallway?” you ask with an arched eyebrow as you throw your dirty clothes to your temporary hamper, which is basically your emptied out suitcase.

“Nope,” he grins smugly, you have to roll your eyes at him. He locks his phone, dropping it to the side table, watching you move around, getting ready for bed and his eyes on your figure feel like they’re burning down on your skin.

“You know, it’s rude to stare,” you comment not even looking at him, but you just know he is still staring at you. Grabbing a hairtie from the little dresses in the corner of your room you reach back to loosely braid your hair, but his voice stops you.

“Wait,” he pleads and you furrow your eyebrows at him. “Can I do it?”

You give him a confused look as he pushes himself up into a sitting position, his green eyes are glimmering from the tiredness and the alcohol he has consumed tonight.

“You want to braid my hair?”

“Yeah,” he nods. You hesitate for a moment but join him on the bed at last, turning your back against him, giving him full control over your hair.

A shiver runs down your spine when you feel his fingers raking through your strands. He is so gentle and careful as you feel him section your hair off to three parts.

“Didn’t know you can braid,” you tell him, eyes fixated on the sheets in front of you.

“Gemma taught me, but I’m not the best at it.”

“So I’ll look atrocious?” you tease him smiling to yourself. He pokes the back of your neck with his fingers before continuing his work.

“You could never look atrocious, even if you tried.”

“And you are such a flirt,” you sigh. Over the years you’ve gotten used to his flirty act, it’s just who he is and though in the beginning your breath always got caught in your throat when he said something cheesy, now you just brush it off, only thinking about his words when you are alone in the night, struggling to fall asleep because you’re once again, thinking about him.

“M’telling the truth. Have I told you how beautiful you looked tonight?”

“Mmm,” you hum. He has told you that you looked pretty when the two of you left and he saw you walk out of your room in your black skinny jeans and flowy sheer top on, your hair loosely curled, but you didn’t really know what to say, so you just smiled at him and it’s the same now. You’re not the best at taking compliments.

“You really did. You always are.”

“And once again, you are such a flirt.”

“Complimenting a pretty woman is being a flirt?” he asks pretending to be offended as he carefully works on your hair and you wish you could see his focused face as he is trying to keep track of the sections between his fingers. At a lack of a witty comeback, you just shrug your shoulders, fumbling with your fingers on your lap.

You both fall silent as he concentrates on your hair and you manage to stop thinking, just focus on how his fingers keep brushing against your back every time he crosses two sections over each other.

“Hairtie, please,” he asks, his hand appearing next to you with his palm upwards. You place it in his hand and he finishes up his masterpiece. “There, it didn’t turn out as bad as I thought,” he comments once he is done. Reaching back you run your fingers over the braid and it feels good, he did a great job.

“Thanks,” you smile at him shyly, turning around. He leans back, making himself comfortable once again and you arch an eyebrow at him. “Need me to walk you back to your room, sir?”

“No, I’m perfectly fine here,” he grins smugly, tugging his arm behind his head as he takes up the right side of the bed.

“You’re planning to sleep here?”

“Please, don’t make me sleep alone on my birthday!” he pouts, giving you those damned puppy eyes. How could you ever say no to him?

“You better not push me off the bed in your sleep,” you mumble before getting under the covers.

You turn off the bedside lamp and the two of you start moving around, finding a comfortable pose to sleep in and you end up facing each other on your sides, Harry’s face squished into the pillow as his eyes are roaming over the hand you have laid between your faces.

His fingers start to inch towards yours until he hooks his pinky with yours, the touch sending a warm feeling down your spine.

“I hate sleeping alone,” he mumbles into the semi-darkness.

“Why?”

“Don’t you like it when there’s someone next to you? When you wake up and you’re not alone?”

“I like it, but I don’t hate sleeping alone either,” you tell him as your eyes fall to your linked pinky fingers. “Why do you hate it? You have the bed all to yourself, and there’s no chance of waking up to someone snoring or talking in their sleep.”

He huffs out a laugh as he buries his head deeper into the pillow.

“It makes me feel lonely. Which is ridiculous, because I’m never alone.”

“But lonely and alone are not the same, so it’s not ridiculous. You can feel lonely when you’re not alone.”

“I know,” he nods, his eyes watching your linked fingers intently, before he moves his hand so it’s now covering yours, his warm palm wrapping around your much smaller hand. “I’m never lonely with you, though.”

“So… you are only lonely when you’re sleeping or in the bathroom, because we basically spend every moment of the day together.” You smirk at him and see his dimple form in his cheek as he smiles at you nodding.

“That’s right. We are like glued together.”

“How aren’t we sick of each other already?”

“That’s never gonna happen.”

“You sure about that?” You raise your eyebrows at him with an amused smile, he is too sure about that answer.

“One hundred percent. You’re my favorite person.”

“Is that what you tell everyone?”

He gives you a look, but you just chuckle, sinking further into your pillow. His fingers start playing with your hand as he draws a deep breath.

“I only tell this to m’ mum and Gemma. No one else.”

Your heart starts racing at the thought of him seeing you on the same level as his closest family. You know how much his mum and sister mean to him, but you never thought you are anywhere near them in his eyes.

“You’re my favorite person too,” you whisper as your eyes meet over your joined hands. He smiles at you warmly, his floppy curls falling into his forehead and you want to run your fingers through them, feel how soft they are under your touch. Harry scoots closer, your faces only a few inches away from each other as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

For a moment you just watch him, thinking how good it feels to have him in your bed. How amazing it is to end the day with him so close to you. You wish all days would end like this, you wouldn’t have another bad day with him next to you.

Lying there and watching him slowly fall asleep, his hand still on yours, the bitter thought eats itself into your mind that he is only here because he feels lonely and wanted to be close to someone, not you particularly. And though you’re glad it’s you he ended up next to, you try not to get too accustomed to the feeling, because you’re just a temporary fix to his loneliness.

The door to Harry’s trailer opens and he walks in wearing his blue dress pants and crispy white dress shirt, fumbling with the top buttons to undo them. You glance up at him from your laptop where you’ve been working on his schedule for the upcoming weeks while he was filming.

“Hey, how did it go?” you ask as he places his water bottle to the vanity and then sits in the chair he spends his mornings in while his hair is being styled and tattoos are covered.

“Good. Messed up only a few times. Whacha’ working on?”

“Just your schedule, I’ll email it to you when I’m done, though you never check it.”

“Hey, I do check it! I like your color coding. I just suck at using it and you’re always here to remind me of the important stuff.”

You roll your eyes, continuing to type away on your keyboard as he moves around, having a snack and texting back people.

“Florence is coming over for a little after we’re done. We can order something,” he speaks up grabbing your attention again.

“Cool,” you nod with a small smile. “Is she staying the night?”

“No, we just thought it would be nice to hang out a little without dressed like this,” he chuckles looking down at himself.

“What’s wrong with Jack’s clothes? You look neat.”

“Do I?” he cocks an eyebrow cheekily, placing his hands to his hips as he looks down at you.

“Yeah. It’s a nice change after all the grandpa clothes,” you tease him and he gasps pretending to be offended at your words, though you both know you have nothing against his style. In fact, you love how he just wears whatever he wants, not caring what others would think.

“Watch your mouth or you can’t wear my bode jacket again,” he warns you holding up his pointing finger, shaking it at you, but you just chuckle at him, finishing up what you’ve been working on before shutting the laptop down.

“How long until you’re done?”

“Just a few more scenes. I think we can leave in about two hours.”

“Alright.”

“You done working?”

“Mhm, for now.”

“Come and watch the filming. You’re always so hidden in here.”

“Because I always have work to do,” you point out, putting the laptop to the side from your lap.

“Yeah, but you’re done now, so come out and watch me be the next Leonardo DiCaprio,” he smugly tells you, and it makes you roll your eyes at him.

“You’re so humble, H. Is something that comes with the age?” you tease him standing up from the small sofa, grabbing your phone from the table.

“You’ll find out in a year,” he smirks back as you follow him out of the trailer, back to the set.

Later that day you, Florence and Harry are chilling back at your apartment, munching on the pizza you ordered, watching some documentary on Netflix, just enjoying a lazy evening. You’ve become quite close with Florence, her personality is a lot like yours so you got along well from the beginning, the three of you often do things together outside of set.

You and Harry are sharing the couch while Florence is curled up on the loveseat. The temperature at the apartment is always nice, but you often catch yourself feeling a little cold in the evening, but it has more to do with the tiredness rather than with the heating of the place. When you pull your legs underneath you to warm your feet, Harry notices the action and knows right away that you’re starting to feel cold as always. Reaching down he grabs a blanket from the basket next to the couch and he wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to him.

“Come ‘ere,” he mumbles, draping the blanket over the two of you. You shuffle closer to him, making yourself comfortable at his side as he makes sure you’re fully tugged in. Then he leaves an arm around you, his fingers gently grazing your shoulder as he turns his attention back at the movie.

Glancing over at Florence you see the puzzled look on her, but you ignore it biting into your bottom lip, turning back to watch the movie though you’re having a hard time focusing. All you can think about is Harry’s touch on you.

It’s almost midnight when Florence calls herself a taxi. Harry picks up the glasses you used and volunteers to wash them, leaving you and Florence alone in the living room.

“So, what’s up with you and Harry?” she questions right away without beating around the bush.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you two has always been close, but now… it seems all too… couple-like.” She narrows her eyes at you, hands on her hips, looking like a mother questioning her daughter.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not,” she scoffs. Then you pretend to be busy with folding the blanket, but you can feel her intent stare on you before she speaks up again. “You like him, don��t you?”

“What?” you huff with a not too Oscar-worthy expression on your face that was supposed to hide the panic in you. “Well of course I like him, he is my friend and boss.”

“But not just like that. You like like him.”

“Florence,” you sigh, just when Harry walks out of the kitchen, oblivious to the conversation that he just interrupted.

“You sure you don’t want to spend the night?” he politely asks her, but she just shakes her head.

“I’m not really up for spending the night on the couch.”

“You wouldn’t have to, you can sleep in my bed,” he simply offers and something is telling you he shouldn’t open his mouth again.

“You’re not taking the couch because of me.”

“I wouldn’t, I usually sleep at Y/N’s,” he states as if it was nothing, but you instantly freeze.

Yes, ever since his birthday he has spent way more nights in your bed than in his own, always raving to you how well he can sleep when you’re next to him and you couldn’t bear the thought of him feeling lonely, so you’ve been letting him occupy half of your bed through the nights. He usually holds your hand falling asleep and then you wake up tangled together, sometimes he is cuddling you from behind, other times you’re the one curled up to his side. He treats it so casually, like it really is nothing, he just always goes on his day when you wake up so you decided to not make it into a big deal either.

Florence gives you a wide eyed look that you try hard to ignore, while Harry is so oblivious to what he just caused with his statement.

“I uhh—thanks but I’m fine going home. Besides, I think my car is already here. See you guys on set tomorrow. Y/N?” she calls out walking towards the front door.

“Hm?”

“We’ll talk later,” she tells you and it’s a strong message that she won’t just leave it at that.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you nod awkwardly, waving her goodbye.

You and Harry clean up together and as always, he is the first one to use the bathroom and by the time you’re done, he is in your bed, waiting for you to join him. You don’t comment on his presence anymore, part of you afraid he would stop spending the night in your bed and you definitely don’t want that. Not much is left from filming, meaning that soon you are forced to go home where you and Harry do not live at the same place so you’re gonna have to sleep alone, like you did before. Only now you are way too hooked on the feeling of having him in your bed, even if it’s not in the way you truly want, it’s better than nothing.

The moment you get under the sheets, Harry reaches out and pulls you to his side. He hasn’t done this often when you went to sleep, only sneaking some small touches, but you don’t mind him being a little extra clingy.

“Filming is almost over,” you mumble into his chest, your hand lazily resting where his ribcage ends in his chest.

“Mhm.” There’s a short silence before he speaks up again. “What about it, Angel?”

“It’s just that it’s going to be weird going home. I got used to living here.” It’s your way saying that you’re gonna miss having him around all the time, but you’re not sure if he understands the hint. It doesn’t really matter anyway.

“You like cramped together with me?” he chuckles lowly.

“Was kinda nice,” you smile.

“Remember how you threatened me to throw my shit out if I leave my dirty clothes on the floor?”

“I do,” you smirk, thinking back to the conversation where you agreed to live with him while he is filming. “Didn’t find any clothes on the floor, so you get an A for that.”

“Wow, was this… a compliment?”

“Shut up, I always compliment you!” you laugh smacking his chest gently.

“Oh, no. You don’t compliment, you just tell me when I managed not to fuck something up,” he corrects you and your cheeks are heating up about how well he knows you.

“Those are compliments in my book, don’t be greedy.”

“M’not. I love how grounded you keep me with treating me like this.”

“Like what?” you ask furrowing your eyebrows.

“Like a normal person. With you, I don’t have to be afraid that I earn something because of who I am. You give no shit about my name, you always keep me in check and I appreciate that.”

“Can’t let you have a too big of a head,” you smirk, closing your eyes. He laughs with you, squeezing you a little before you both fall into silence, drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms.

You’ve managed to avoid Florence in the past few days. Her burning look has been making you way too nervous, you know she wants to know more about what’s going on between you and Harry, but truth to be told, you have no idea what to tell her.

Yeah, I’m definitely in love with him and we’ve been sharing a bed for a few weeks because he feels lonely alone at night, so he uses me to ease the feeling while I just let him because as I said, I’m in love with the man.

No, you can’t tell her that.

Now there’s only two days left from filming, meaning that only two more nights to spend with Harry and it’s making you a nervous wreck to think about sleeping alone in your bedroom.

You round the corner in the maze of the trailers after a phone call you had with Jeff when you run out of luck and bump right into Florence.

“I’ve been looking for you, Y/N. Come have lunch with me in my trailer,” she smiles sweetly, grabbing you by your hand so you can’t escape her this time.

“Oh I wanted to call—“

“Do it later,” she simply cuts you off.

Soon, you find yourself in her trailer as she eats her burger while she eyes you with suspicion.

“So, you and Harry sleep together?”

“Well, not like that. We really just sleep in the same bed.”

“Oh, makes perfect sense, sleeping in the same bed as your boss. Very casual.”

“Don’t make it sound so weird,” you frown at her words. You definitely don’t see Harry as your boss. You do work for him, but it never felt like he stands anywhere above you, the two of you have always been equal even before you became close friends.

“You gotta admit it’s pretty unusual,” she points out and you just look away from her. “So let’s talk about how you’re in love with him.”

“What? I never said that!” you protest, but she just gives you a look that says ‘cut the crap, girl’ and you know there’s no use to try to trick her, she sees right through you. “Don’t fucking look at me like that, I have enough shit on my plate without your judgment.”

“Oh, I’m not judging you. I’m just wondering why you two are not together already.”

You practically snort at her statement, finding it quite absurd and ridiculous.

“What? You two are perfect for each other and I’m pretty sure Harry loves you too.”

“Yeah, as a friend.”

“That’s not how friends act, Y/N. He wouldn’t beg himself into your bed every night if he was just your friend.”

“He is just lonely. He doesn’t need me, just someone to be with him.”

“That’s bullshit,” she scoffs. “You two are just being idiots.” Just as you are about to answer, your phone starts ringing. Harry’s smiley face appears on the screen, making you extremely nervous because of the conversation you are having with Florence.

“Hey,” you breathe out answering the call.

“Hey, where are you?”

“Just, talking with Florence. What’s up?”

“I got an email from Jeff and I have some questions.”

“I’ll be there in a sec.”

“Thank you Angel,” he hums before ending the call.

“I gotta go. Please don’t… bring any of this up for Harry,” you ask Florence, heading to the exit.

“You’ve gotta sort your shit out. This is not ideal, Y/N.”

“I know it,” you growl under your breath, leaving the trailer. You chew on your bottom lip nervously as you march back to Harry’s trailer. You feel so confused and anxious about this whole situation and the worst thing is that you have no idea what to do about it. Telling him how you feel seems like a stupid idea, but mostly because you’re terrified of rejection. What if it all meant nothing to him? If you were right and he is just lonely and uses you to help himself, it has nothing to do with you. You wouldn’t survive the heartbreak it would give you if he told you he doesn’t see you more than just a friend.

As you walk into his trailer he is sitting on the sofa with his phone in his hands. He glances up at you, a warm smile tugging on his lips as you take a deep breath, feeling very much out of place suddenly. Unfortunately, he immediately senses your discomfort.

“Everything alright, Angel?”

Angel. This nickname could make your knees go weak in a heartbeat and you hate how much effect it has on you. Especially in this state of mind you’re currently in.

“I just…” You shake your head shutting your eyes. “Why do you keep calling me that?” you ask, sounding way more desperate than you intended to. Harry puts his phone aside, looking a little puzzled at your sudden weird act, but he seems more worried for you.

“I, uhh—“

“And don’t tell me it’s because Hey Angel is about me. We didn’t know each other back then.”

You have no idea where this is coming from or why you even questioned him about it all of a sudden, but Florence just totally threw you off with what she just said. Harry stares back at you, probably vigorously looking for the reason why you are acting up now, but luckily, he doesn’t try to turn it into a joke as always.

“I call you Angel, because you remind me of the song. It wasn’t written about you, but the lyrics match up with… you.”

“What?” you ask in confusion.

“I wish I could be more like you, do you wish you could be more like me?” he quotes the song, not singing the words, simply just talking them as he stares back at you. “I see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed, backseat of my car, in the back of my head,” he continues and you feel your throat doing dry just from the way he softly speaks, standing only a few feet away from you. “I come alive when I hear your voice, it’s a beautiful sound, it’s a beautiful noise.”

You never really gave it another thought, but now that he has told you this, it hit you hard in the chest. You weren’t expecting, especially because those lines are rather meaningful, to you at least.

“I thought of it once not long after we first met and thought calling you Angel would suit you. Do you mind it? I can just… stop calling you that if you don’t like it.”

You shake your head. You never want him to stop calling you that even if it’s not that meaningful for him. If it’s just some game. It’s great to know that something reminded him of you.

“No, it’s… it’s alright.” Your voice is small, barely more than just a whisper. It’s a little too much at once. Florence’s words are still stuck in your head, and what he just said has felt like he just gripped your heart even if he doesn’t know.

You take a shaky breath, forcing yourself to come back from this hazy state of mind.

“So, what about that email?”

“You alright?” Reaching forward he takes your hand and you try not to flinch at his touch, just smile at him nodding.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” He squeezes your hand before dropping it and he luckily doesn’t ask any more questions.

 You stay oddly quiet for the rest of the day and Harry surely knows something is wrong, but he respects you enough not to bug you about it any longer. He just stays close to you as much as he can, trying his best to take your mind off of whatever keeps you occupied.

On the way home you and Harry drop by a supermarket, buy some quick dinner, not wanting to stack the fridge when you’re leaving so soon. Then you sit in the living room, eating and watching some random movie that’s on TV. You snuggle to his side on the couch naturally, he doesn’t even have to pull you close this time. The thought of having left only one more night in the apartment makes you want to sue every little moment you have left in this bubble.

Harry makes you have a shower first tonight and when you come out from the bathroom, your bed is already nicely made, inviting you warmly. He is quick to finish with his shower and joins you in bed barely five minutes later. You move towards each other instantly, his arms curling around your form soothingly as you make yourself comfortable, melted into his embrace. You feel his lips pressing against your forehead and you almost start crying at the small action.

“Angel, I don’t know what has upset you, but I’m here for you, alright? You’re not alone,” he murmurs softly.

“I know,” you whisper. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. I would do anything for you, just like you do so much for me. You’ve got me.”

I wish, you think to yourself. You have him, but not the way you’ve been desiring. His hand moves to cup your face as he lifts your head so you are looking into his eyes in the darkened room, but there’s enough light coming through the window that you see his features. He runs his thumb across your cheek, gently caressing your skin and everywhere he touches you, it feels like your body is in flames. This something has been building up inside you and now you’re not sure how long you’ll be able to control yourself. And just as you think about how you really should put some distance between the two of you so you won’t regret it later, the unexpected happens.

Harry pulls you up just enough so when he moves his head he is able to place his lips on yours, kissing you out of the blue. His lips feel so soft, so fitting on your mouth, you let out a whimper when he goes further than just a gentle kiss, taking your bottom lip between his properly. It’s an out of world experience, you’ve imagined it so many times, but you never thought it would actually happen and now that it is very much happening, your whole mind goes blank and for a split second… everything feels right. You kiss him back with fever and with each passing moment the kiss grows more passionate and way hungrier than how it started. Harry’s arm tightens around you, almost pulling you on top of him and you can’t make yourself stop, not that you want to.

With a little force, Harry pushes the two of you around so now you’re lying on the mattress and he holds himself up above you, his lips never disconnecting from yours. He licks into your mouth, pulling and tugging on your lips, making your whole body go weak just for him.

But then, as if reality hit you in the head, you realize what’s happening.

“Harry,” you gasp pulling back, gasping for air. “This—We…”

“Angel, let me take care of you. Please,” he begs out of breath.

“What…”

“I want to make you feel good. I want to take care of you, please let me.” He sounds so desperate, like he would do anything for this and you are not strong enough to deny it from him.

It’s just his pity. He’s been using you for his needs, now he wants to give some back, it’s nothing more, you think to yourself. It can’t be more.

You lack the willpower to make a rational decision, so as you stare up into his eyes that appear so dark due to the lack of proper lighting, you just nod before he leans down and kisses you again.

He holds himself up on one arm while his free hand wanders down your body, touching you at places you have never felt him before. He palms your left breast, squeezing it gently and it makes you moan into his mouth before his hand moves down the curve of your waist until it reaches your sleeping shorts. Your body is burning for him and you can’t stop it from reacting to everything he does. You buckle your hips up when you feel his fingers gently graze along your pubic bone, even though you’re still fully clothed.

“What do you want me to do, Angel? I’ll do anything you want me to,” he pants between kisses as his hand moves to cup your heated core, making you moan again from the sensation of his touch there.

“I need you,” is all you manage to get out.

“I’m right here. You got me. What do you want me to do? Please, tell me, Angel,” he whines, forehead pressed against yours and his hips fall, pressing against your thigh, making you realize how excited he has gotten. His erection is hard under the fabric of his boxers, almost aching to be freed. There’s no way you can take any teasing or a long foreplay. You need him inside you now before you burst.

“Harry, I need you inside me. Please,” you whimper, almost cry, before he kisses you again, hard and demanding as he simply pushes your shorts down, revealing your naked sex since you don’t wear any underwear to bed. You grab the waistband of his boxers too and push it down until he can wiggle his legs out of them, leaving him completely naked in your bed while you still have a top covering your upper body, however he is quick to change that. He grabs the hem and starts pulling it off, your hands helping him so a few moments later you’re completely naked underneath him.

“Fuck, Angel,” he breathes out, his perfect, pink lips attacking the side of your throat, kissing and nibbling on the skin, going down to your breasts, giving the same amount of attention to both while you turn into jelly under his touch. lacing your fingers through his hair you cry out his name as you can feel him leaving a mark on your left breast, his tongue swirling against the spot he just completely destroyed before he brings himself back up so he can kiss you again and again with so much hunger, it’s hard to tell where you end and where he starts. Everything melts together and you’re such a mess in every possible way.

His hand gently reaches down between your legs and parts your shaking thighs before he cups you drenched pussy, his middle finger sliding between your folds, a shameless moan slipping from your mouth, right into his as your lips are still attached.

“So wet, I can’t wait to make you feel good, baby. Let me make you feel good.”

“Harry, just… please,” you pant, surely feeling yourself lose the last bits of your nerves.

“D’you have a condom?” he asks, head lifting up a bit so he can look into your eyes.

“I-In my, um, the makeup bag,” you try to explain gesturing towards your dresser where your makeup bag sits on top, two condoms somewhere inside it. Harry pecks your lips before pulling away from you, the lack of his weight on top of you making you shiver.

He digs into the bag until he finds what he’s been looking for, tearing the packaging open with his teeth and he rolls it on while he walks back, not wasting another moment. You cling onto him like a koala bear once he is back in bed, his massive body covering you again.

“Just tell me how you like it, I’ll do anything,” he mumbles against your shivering lips as he pushes the head in first, stopping for a second before the rest of his cock buries inside you, completely taking your breath away. He is bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with, filling up every inch of you, your walls stretching around him as he stills once he is all the way inside you.

This is it. This is the moment you’ve imagined oh so many times, feeling him the closest possible, his cock buried inside you, his cheek pressed against yours as he holds himself up on top of you. Years of yearning and endless nights when you imagined your hand was his… and now it’s your reality. And though you know it’s gonna change everything, you can’t tell yourself to stop.

Harry lifts his head, pecking your lips gently, calling you Angel over and over again as he starts moving, the friction between your legs growing with each thrust. He fits inside you so well, you won’t be able to enjoy sex with anyone else now that you’ve experienced it with Harry. All of a sudden, he has become the epitome of your whole life.

“Tell me what you want, Angel. Do you want me to go slow or fast? Tell me how to make you feel good.” His lips brush against yours with each word while you’re just trying to catch your breath, fingers digging into his back, the euphoria building up inside you gradually.

“A little faster,” you breathe out, speaking feels like a hard task at the moment. Harry picks his pace up, finding just the right rhythm that makes you wrap your legs around his waist so he can go even deeper with each thrust he makes.

“Look at me, Angel. Let me see your eyes,” he begs, his hand cupping your cheek. He runs his thumb along the line of your lower lip before he takes it between his lips, tugging on it gently, kissing you like you’re his last breath on Earth. He is devouring you, body melts together with yours, all your senses are strictly focused on him. He is all you see, hear, feel and taste.

Your gaze meets his and the way he looks at you, like you’re his whole entire world, it makes your eyes tear up. You want it to be true, you want it to be reality, you want it to be more than just about needs and satisfaction, but it’s not and your consciousness is not letting you believe otherwise.

“Oh Angel,” he softly hums, wiping away a tear that escaped the corner of your eye and ran down the side of your face. Keeping up his rhythm he kisses along your jawline, your cheek, your lips, the side of your face, the bridge of your nose, everywhere he can before returning to your lips with a hungry, passion filled kiss.

“Harry…” you whimper, holding your thighs tighter around his waist as you feel yourself nearing the edge.

“Let it go for me, Angel. I wanna see you feel good, cum for me,” he tells you, eyes never leaving yours as you are ready to burst underneath him.

“Harry, I-I need you!” The words fall from your lips as a desperate beg, arms wrapping around his torso tight, as if he could disappear from your embrace any moment.

“I’m right here, Angel. Right here,” he soothes you, kissing your lips sweetly as proof that he is not just a trick your mind is playing on you. “Are you close, baby? Are you gonna cum for me?”

“Yes! Yes!” you pant, losing control over your body and all your senses. It’s gonna be intense, you can tell and it hasn’t even started yet, you just know it’ll shake you to the core.

“Good girl. Let me make you feel good.” “So good,” you breathe out before Harry occupies your lips with his once again.

It doesn’t take long. He keeps thrusting in the perfect angle and it throws you right over the edge. Harry demands you look him in the eyes when your orgasm wash you over and the intensity of it all almost makes you cry again. You burst, lose yourself under him, screaming his name as if you were praying to all higher forces. In a way, you are, because for a moment you really think you completely vanish from this world.

Harry follows you just a few more thrusts later, falling out of his rhythm as he grunts and moans your name, face buried into the crook of your neck while you tug on his hair, the feeling of his soft locks between your fingers is like pure heaven.

He stills, but stays inside you as he looks up, his eyes filled with satisfaction and contentment as he cups your face again, kissing you long, taking his time with you.

As you come off your high and the clouds of euphoria clears off, reality sets in more painfully than ever. Your limbs are paralyzed and you feel like you are outside your own body, just watching everything happen as if you were a third person in the room. Harry rolls to the side, chest heaving wildly as he is trying to regulate himself. Once he is able to breathe without panting, he pecks your shoulder gently and makes a quick round to the bathroom. You hear water running and then his feet padding on the floor, but you can’t bring yourself to move, you just lie there, completely drained out. It doesn’t change even when Harry gently cleans you off with a damp washing cloth, throwing it to the side to take care of it in the morning. He pulls the covers over the two of you and scoops you into his arms. You manage to bring your arm up to his chest as your head rests on his shoulder. His fingers are dancing up and down your arm, his steady breathing keeping your overcrowded head grounded. And then… he starts singing so softly, it’s almost just a whisper.

“Hey Angel, oh, I wish I could be more like you. Do you wish you could be more like me?”

Your eyes shut close, the damn tears flooding again, but you keep your sobs drowned in your throat. Instead you force yourself to sleep and hope you live to see the morning, because you feel like your heart is about to give up on you.

 When you wake up, you genuinely feel like you’ve drunk through last night and now have the worst hangover. It’s like you’ve been hit on the head with a chair. You slowly come to your senses and realize that you’re completely naked in bed and there’s a body curled to your side, equally naked.

The shock sets in first because you realize, once again, that what happened last night wasn’t just a fever dream, it actually happened. And then you basically jump out of bed when you look at the small digital clock on the bedside and see that the two of you have ten minutes to leave if you don’t want to be late to the last day of filming.

“Harry! Harry get up!” you smack him, kicking the covers off and grabbing your top and shorts from the floor, quickly putting them on. The man in talk growls, just rolling to his back without even opening his eyes. “Harry damn it! We have ten minutes or you’ll be late!” you snap at him and it somewhat wakes him up. With furrowed eyebrows at puckered lips, he lifts his head up and looks around.

Those lips were kissing you last night.

“What?” he mumbles in confusion.

“We overslept, get up. We have… eight minutes left.”

“Shit,” he mumbles under his breath, finally getting out of bed, reaching for his boxers.

It’s a shitshow as the two of you try to get ready on time and though you are running just a few minutes late, the driver of the taxi manages to speed down the streets fast enough that you arrive to set just in time.

During the whole ride, you feel Harry’s burning eyes on you, but thank God, you get a call from Jeffrey the moment you get into the car and it lasts the whole ride so you don’t have to talk with him about what happened last night.

“Y/N,” he tries when you’re still on the phone and he is already done with hair and makeup, heading to set to start filming.

“What?” you mouth at him.

“Can we talk later?”

“I’m busy. Go, I’m sure they are waiting for you,” you whisper to him and he looks so disappointed, but he nods and walks away. Your heart breaks as you lower the phone. You have been out of the call for some time, just didn’t want to talk to him.

Quite frankly, you’re not ready to talk to him about what happened last night. You don’t want to hear him say that he was just trying to help you out last night, that it wasn’t anything serious, just some messing around. It was just two people trying not to feel lonely.

Walking back into his trailer you can feel your chest tightening, a sharp pain shooting right into your heart the more you think about him. It was a mistake, you shouldn’t have done it because you are the one with the feelings and now you are the one struggling with the consequences of your little get together.

The more you think about it, the worse it gets and you feel like you’re about to suffocate. You need to get out of here, there’s no way you can face him now.

It all happens so fast. Before you can even second guess your decision, you’re on your way back to the apartment to pack all your stuff and get on the first flight back home. You need to put distance between you and him, spending one more night in the same apartment would make you go nuts. So while Harry is filming, completely oblivious to what you’re doing, you pack up your room as fast as possible and head to the airport to hop on the plane that leaves at four pm.

With a racing heart you check all your baggage in and make it through security when Harry first calls you. At first, you want to ignore it, but then you find yourself swiping your thumb across the screen.

“Hey,” you shortly greet him.

“Hey, where are you? Have been looking for you everywhere.” “I um… I’m at the airport,” you answer and the silence on the other end is deafening for a moment.

“You are at the what?” he then snaps.

“I had a, um, kind of emergency, so I’m heading back home now. Sorry, I would have called you, but didn’t know when you’d be off set.”

“You fucking packed and left already? You’re really at the airport?” He is fuming, Raging. You can tell he is pacing in the trailer, vigorously running his fingers through his hair, ruining it without a care. You almost feel guilty, but then again, you just know facing him now would break you. You’ll get back to him when you’ve pulled your shit together.

“I am, calm down, alright? Not a big deal.” “You just left on our last day here without a fucking word! And when am I seeing you again?”

“I, uhh—I need to be home for a while, but you’ll be fine. I’ll stay in touch with you in email and text.”

“Fucking text? Email?” he is barking now. Good thing you are not there because it would be a disaster. “Y/N, you can’t be serious. We-we were supposed to talk. You can’t just fucking disappear like this.”

“We’ll talk, alright?”

“When?”

“Later,” you simply tell him at a loss for a better answer. Hopefully, never, you think to yourself, but don’t say it out loud.

“Okay, you’re not doing this. Don’t you dare get on a plane, I’m going to the airport right now. You’re not leaving.”

“Well, I am and you’re not coming here,” you clap back, but you can already hear him moving around, probably gathering his stuff so he can leave right away.

“Swear to God if you get on that plane, I’m—“ He cuts himself off, no idea what to really say and you just sigh, closing your eyes. People rush by you and as you glance at the big screen you see that your plane is boarding.

“Harry, just… it’ll be better like this, alright? You’ll be fine, I’ll see you… when I see you. Have fun on your last day on set.”

You end the call before he could get another word out and put it on airplane mode right away as you grab your backpack and head to your gate.

Using your time on the plane wisely, you put together a very detailed schedule for Harry so he knows everything about his next few weeks and you can minimize your contact with him. You even set up a bunch of reminders in his calendar so he won’t miss his appointments.

When you set feet on the ground again, you expect the distance between you and Harry to feel comforting and freeing, but it’s the opposite. An ache in your chest is getting heavier as you get yourself a taxi and head home, feeling more alone than ever in your life.

Your home doesn’t feel like a home. Not without that one person who could make any place your home, but you can’t see him right now, not until you learn how to exist around him without the urge to faint.

Going to bed alone is pure torture. Every moment you are waiting to hear Harry shuffling around in the apartment, you miss his little snorts when he is watching the TV, his singing coming from the shower, but most importantly, you miss having him so close to you in bed. Now that you’re lying on your own, your bed feels so cold, it brings you tears as reality sets in. You miss him. You miss him more than anything and you can’t imagine a time when it won’t hurt anymore.

The crying pushes you into a shallow slumber sometime in the middle of the night, however, you’re rudely shaken back to consciousness when you hear someone banging on your door like crazy, pushing the doorbell constantly.

“Jesus fuck,” you mumble with a grimace, pulling a hoodie on as you make your way to the door hazily, probably still half asleep because you open the door without checking who it is through the peephole and you end up staring up at none other than Harry. “What the—What are you doing here?” you breathe out, panic sets in fast and your hands start shaking at the sight of him.

Harry steps inside without invitation and closes the door behind him, a stern expression on his handsome face.

“Y/N, what the fuck were you thinking when you left like that?”

“I-I told you, it was an emergency.”

“What kind of emergency? Because I called your mom and sisters, they all said nothing happened in the family, so what could possibly happen that needed you here immediately?”

“I don’t have to explain shit to you.” Shaking your head you try to step back to put some distance between the two of you, but he doesn’t let you, taking a step forward at the same time.

“Well I think we have a lot to talk about after last night, don’t you think?”

“I don’t want to talk,” you shake your head biting into your bottom lip. This wasn’t supposed to happen, why couldn’t he just stay where he was? “How did you even get here so fast?”

“Left as soon as we wrapped.”

“Where are all your stuff?”

“Left everything there, I’ll just go back and pack it up, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that for a girl who genuinely hates any form of working out, you ran pretty fast from you today.”

Any other day you would have laughed at his comparison, but not today. You just stand there, chewing on the inside of your cheeks as you try to figure out what to do or say. You were not ready to face him so soon.

“What do you want me to say?” you ask desperately, throwing your hands into the air.

“Tell me what it meant for you,” he calmly answers and you want to shake him. How is he so peaceful?

“No,” you shake your head. “I’m not doing this to myself, okay? I need time, Harry.”

“For what?”

“So I can get myself over this, alright? I need time, I—fuck this,” you growl, feeling the tears flooding your eyes again. Damn it!

“Why the fuck do you want to get yourself over it?”

“Because it obviously didn’t mean the same thing to me as it meant to you!” you snap at him and he raises his eyebrows at you in a way that tells you “you’re stupid”.

“What do you think it meant to me?”

“Probably nothing,” you scoff rolling your eyes, but the anger that bursts from him quickly washes your attitude away.

“Fucking nothing? You think I would get on a fucking plane first thing after filming for ten hours straight just to come after you? You think I spent all my nights with you these past weeks because you mean nothing to me? You know, for a smart girl, you can be pretty dumb sometimes.”

You blink at him in utter confusion, his words knocked you off your feet. He exhales sharply, long fingers running through his messy curls as he tries his best to calm himself down. When he is finally breathing somewhat normally his wildly vibrant green eyes meet your widened stare.

“Y/N, I thought we were on the same page. What did you think it was all about?” he softly asks, seeing how shook you still are.

“I, uhh—I thought this was all just some kind of distraction. You said you were feeling lonely, I thought you were just… kind of using me. And then last night was you returning the favor.”

“Hell no,” he breathes out shaking his head as he steps closer and this time you don’t back away from him. You let his hands run down your arms until they find your hands. “I thought this was clear, but I’m gonna say it then. I’m in love with you, Y/N, have been for a long time, I was just being a pussy and didn’t know how you’d take it. But then, when you didn’t kick me out of your bed the first night we slept together, it got me hoping and it was all heading just the right direction. Then last night happened and I was so damn sure this would be our turning point but then…” He breathes out shakily again, as if the thought still upsets him. “When I called you and you said you were at the airport… I love you, Angel, but I was ready to murder you.”

You let out a faint chuckle, feeling the tears bubbling in your eyes.

“Why did you run away instead of talking to me? Did you not trust me?” he asks softly, a hand coming up to cup your jaw gently.

“I didn’t trust myself,” you admit weakly.

“Oh Angel…” Leaning down he kisses your forehead tenderly, his lips feel like soft feathers against your hot skin. “Do you need me to tell you again how in love I am with you or are you gonna believe me? You’re not planning to run away again, are you?” he teases you making you chuckle as you shake your head.

“I’m not gonna run away, but I would love to hear you say you love me again.”

“I love you. I love you so fucking much, Angel, don’t you ever think otherwise for a moment, okay?”

You nod, lips curling into your mouth as your teary eyes meet his green orbs.

“I love you too, Harry.”

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that,” he chuckles breathing out in relief and it makes you smile. “I would never just use you. Love you way too much for that, Angel. You are everything to me.”

“Wish I knew that earlier,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. It would have saved you a lot of tears.

“I will never stop saying it to you.” His forehead rests against yours, noses touching as his arms curl around your frame, pulling you close to him until you’re pressed up against his hard chest. “Just out of curiosity, what were you thinking when I told you, you reminded me of Hey Angel? Because I think it pretty much gave me away, but apparently, I was wrong,” he chuckles lowly, pulling back a little so he can look you in the eyes.

“I honestly have no idea,” you admit with an awkward chuckle. “I just had a conversation with Florence before that where she called me out about my feelings for you and I was still kind of in shock. Probably took it as just your usual flirty behavior.”

“I’ll admit I do flirt some, but haven’t you realized it’s different with you?”

“I guess not.” “Angel, you are… something else,” he chuckles in disbelief before leaning down he finally presses his lips against yours. You giggle into his lips, arms wrapping around his neck as he lifts you up from the ground, twirling you around, a squeal slipping from your mouth.

“So, now you have to go back to pack your stuff?” you question, still wrapped into his arms completely and you don’t want to exist any other way. This is where you belong.

“Yeah. Had to chase down this Angel who thought she could run away from me.”

“So how are you planning to get to New York by four tomorrow when you’re still here and have to go back to pack? Have you checked the schedule I sent you? You’re not gonna make it.” You cock your head to the side with an arched brow.

“Did you just go back to full assistant mode right after we confessed our love for each other?”

“Someone has to be responsible and we both know it’s always me.”

“I’ll just hire someone to do it for me, I’ll leave to New York from here. Happy?” he grins at you as you nod.

“Very. Because this means you can stay the night here.”

“Seeing the fact that I literally have nowhere else to go, because even my house keys are in the suitcase I left back… I very much need to stay here for the night,” he points out.

“Good. Come on, my bed felt empty without you,” you giggle, pulling him towards your bedroom and he follows you eagerly.

“I can definitely help that.”

 Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

[jokingmisfit]

Comforting Your Sorrows

Damien Darhk x reader

Prompt- “Will we still be here tomorrow?”

Warnings- Self-doubt, Use of daddy, Allusions to sex, Non-gendered but reader is called kitten, Codependency, Self-deprecation, Separation anxiety, A bit of amnesia

Dark purple silk sheets and heavy soft blankets were always a comforting feeling. Laying in Damien’s bed, pretending like this was where we should be. However, right now, I’m terrified. I know they changed things, him and his team, I just don’t know how much. I’m waiting for his words to shoo me away or for him to leave with the knowledge that we won’t see each other till our next “session”.

You’d never realize he was a murderer. Not at least until his words or gaze landed on you. His hands are always soft. Only a few seconds and I miss them on my sides, on my face. I miss him close to me.I can’t bear to see him leave… I won’t have a choice. We’ll have to part. Just like always.

Golden light flickers around the room, but despite the romantic, perfect, atmosphere I just want the comfort of him and nothing else. My silly dreams don’t add up with reality, but it matches the scene almost perfectly.

I turn a bit to search for him. It was a sight hard to miss. White light reabsorbing the yellow. Short white hair on top of a body on display covered by only a pair of pants. A pair of brilliant blue eyes look through the mirror as he turns towards me. He really looks like a painting

I lay my head on the pillow rather than my hand and send a sweet tired smile to him. I can only hope my sadness doesn’t leak through.

Of course, I can tell it does when his own smirk turns upside down.

“What’s wrong kitten?”

Damien sits down cupping my face. I lean in. I don’t want to tell him. It’s so pathetic. I just want it to be perfect…

“Come on now, tell daddy what’s wrong. Hmm?” He maneuvered us around so I now sit in his lap. I love being held by him… I lean into him and take a deep breath.

“Will we still be here tomorrow?”

It came out louder than I wanted. It was just a whisper, but I wish I’d said nothing at all. I couldn’t help but tense at myself. I looked up to his eyes and he looked so confused and sad.

“I just mean… You- I- We. We- We always- always split a bit after um uh everything,” I feel so stupid. “I don’t wanna be selfish y’know and I just think maybe we could not well maybe if you want because you know your thoughts and feelings like really matter to me I just don’t I- I really don’t wanna I just- I don’t wanna keep- I just want to stay with you.”

God, why was that so hard? Am I shaking? Oh god! He’s just looking at me.I try to wiggle out of his lap.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said anything really it’s just stupid right?! I mean why would we why would-” Before I could finish Damien pulls me back into him and starts petting my hair.

“I think we have had very poor communication recently.” Damien takes my head and turns me to face him. “I should have relayed all the new rules that we’ve made, and you,” He accentuates by tapping my nose. “Should have told me you wanted to stay longer… What have I told you about talking baby? Hmm? It’s that you have to tell me what you’re thinking. Though it would be a very useful skill, I can't read your thoughts, kitten.”

I played with his and my hands, keeping my eyes on them the whole time. I just want us to be happy. Together. “I just- I just wanna be with daddy…” It felt silly to admit. I just want him.

He lays back pulling me with him. “You have me baby. We don’t have to be apart anymore.”

We what?

“What about all of the- stuff?” What even was in the way of us staying together anyways?

“It’s all been dealt with. Daddy took care of all of it.” Damien says while running his hands through my hair.

I closed my eyes. “So I can stay.” I look up at him and he smiles.

“My sweet little kitten, you can stay with daddy for as long as you want.”

[tetralea]

To play a game

Pairing: dom!Tom Holland x reader

Word Count: 1.8K+

Warning: dom-sub dynamics, dirty talking, cum in panties, exhibitionism, semi-public play, vaginal sex

Summary:  You are attending at an event with Tom and the both of you likes to play dirty, so you ditch your panties for the night.

A/N: So,it was inspired by a conversation veeery long ago with @we--are---not--afraid​ also it kind of clashes with this ask: (P.S please at least say hi, next time because I’m not writing on demand)

The event was loud and as overwhelming as ever no matter how many times you did it. The red carpet walks, the interviews, the photos, it got easier over time but never less draining. The only thing what kept you on the edge was one specific man and the hurried promise he made before you got out of the car.  

‘I bet you are not bold enough do this event without your panties.’ Tom purred into your ear, his eyes and words challenging you.  

This is how it happened, your hands sliding under the dress which reached around your knees to find your panties and push it into Tom’s pocket. ‘And I bet you can’t walk around with my panties in your pocket without someone noticing.’ Your little head tilt and innocent eyes earned a groan and a dangerous glint in those brown eyes, but he didn’t say a thing.  

It has been an hour now at least and you felt yourself growing wet as the cool air brushed against your pussy. You knew your dress was long enough to cover you by any means, but it didn’t help your feeling of being exposed and absolutely aroused by doing all this small talk and posing while not wearing your underwear, let alone having them in Tom’s pocket. It was a dirty little secret for the two of you, which riled you up more and more by every minute.  

The first time you could finally talk to him again was before the dinner when he stepped to you, his fingers lightly touching your shoulder.  

‘Do you have a minute for me, darling?’  

With an apologetic smile you excused yourself from the group and started to follow him through the crowded room to an empty, dark hallway, curtains hanging from each side, giving you just enough cover for now. His fingers were interlocking with yours during the walk, only letting them go when he pushed you to the wall, getting tangled in a curtain a little.  

‘How are you doing lovie?’ His words were hushed, lips finding yours before you could have answered in a hungry kiss.  

‘Better than you, I'd say.’ The devilish smile on your lips and the way he gave himself away so easily earned you another groan before he was back kissing you silly. It was hot and heavy with need, need building from the moment you got out of the car a few hours ago. His hard on was painfully obvious as he stepped a bit closer, his full body pressed to yours now. Sure, it explains why at least one of his hands were in his pocket. Those tight, slim pants didn’t hide his erection very well.  

Between the heated sloppy kisses, Tom’s long fingers slipped under your dress. ‘Do you know how it felt watching you flirting with everyone and knowing you little pussy is bare under your pretty dress?’  

It was a rhetorical question, but he didn't give you time to answer anyway, his lips were on yours, kissing you in a way it made your head spin, your small whimpers lost in his mouth. ‘Lovie, you soaked even your thighs.’ Tom cooed, when his fingers run up on your skin, to find you completely roused and wet. The sound you made then his touch, even if it was light as a feather hit your exposed pussy lips was almost feral. ‘You know, originally I wanted to finger you here and go back to fuck you later, but I don’t think I can wait for so long.’ His mumbles along with his ministrations were too much to let you form any more coherent thoughts. ‘I think there is a storage room across the hall, what do you think?’ His question was sweet as honey in sync with the way he was petting your pussy, coating his fingers in your slick, pressing into you a digit only when he touched your gaping entrance.  

‘Yes.’ As embarrassing as it was this was the first and only word which come to your mind, to Tom’s amusement. He loved it, loved to make you so flustered and worked up you practically forgot how to form words and there were nothing left but those sweet noises only for him.  

It felt like it wasn’t even a minute later when the door of the small room clicked behind you. Tom was immediately all over you, his hands trying to feel as much skin as you could, being desperate to finally have you. ‘Turn around, lovie.’  

You did with a bit of a help, hands pressed to the hard, steel shelves, but you didn’t care. There was a bit of a pause while Tom undid his pants, a bit of a shuffling until he pushed them down till his knees, to pull himself free from his boxers. Lifting your dress with one hand and aligning his hot cock head with your entrance with the other shouldn’t have been this hot in this situation, but you couldn’t help it.  

‘Tom?’ Your voice was weak and impatient, when you didn’t feel the immediate fullness, you were expecting but only the delicious stretch at your entrance. He stopped.  

‘Ask for it, darling. You made me walk around with a hard cock all night, this is the least you could do to make it fair.’ 

The frustrated moan didn’t help, nor the almost inaudible please. ‘You know you can act like a little brat, and I could always just jerk off like this and leave you frustrated, so you better think about your next words carefully.’ With his words a sharp slap cut through the silence of the small space followed with your whimper when he slapped your ass a bit roughly.  

‘Tom, please.’ You tried, but already knew it won’t cut it. He tsked with his tongue, which didn’t mean any good for you, mostly when you felt his hand slowly moving starting to gently stroke his own cock.  

‘Last chance, baby girl.’ He warned and gave you another slap, his hand not speeding up yet.  

The last nick name seemed to wash away all of your remaining resistance, getting the obedient little sub out of you.  

‘Please, fuck me.’ Your words were so fast it was a miracle he heard them correctly.  

‘What is it?’ Tom teased, leaning closer to your seemingly to hear better, pushing his thick cock half-way in during the process.  

‘Please fuck me, please I need your cock!’ The words fumbled over your lips like prayer now, a shudder running down on your spine making you twitch around his cock.  

‘Look at you. You must be so desperate.’ Along with the soft, slow purr he finally pushed into you fully inch by inch. The mewl you made was primal, finally feeling the fullness and weight of his cock inside of you. 

‘Open up!’ It threw you off for a minute, but there was no time to think about it when he tapped on your lip, and something lace like touched them too. Tom stuffed your panties into your mouth without hesitation. 

Your eyes rolled back, any of your previous resistance thrown out of the window, melting into Tom’s touch, as he fucked into you. He didn’t start slow, knowing your body enough by now, to be sure you could take it. He did slow down tho after a few minutes, to pull you closer, to pepper sweet kisses onto your neck, to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. ‘Such a good girl for me.’ Tom cooed and bit your earlobe, before letting you go and starting to thrust hard and fast again.  

With your sounds muffled by your panties, lips and jaw stretching around them, eyes shut as you got lost in your pleasure, until you felt your high approaching. Your fingers left the selves which were warm under your palms now, to tap in his wrist twice.  

‘Oh, baby girl, look how good you can be. Are you there? Are you asking for my permission?’ His words were surprisingly coherent compared to the state he was. You felt his thrust becoming sloppy, his grip on your body tightening, his pants and moans becoming more breathy, he was also close.  

The answer for his question was a frantic nodding and a desperate cry trying to hold it.  

‘Good girl. You can come on my command when I hit zero.’  With that Tom started to count down from ten, making it almost the longest ten seconds of your life because he didn’t slow down, he was taking you with the same strength and speed as before, making it especially hard for you to hold back your orgasm. Now you were grateful for the small ruined piece of fabric in your mouth to hold back your desperate cries, moans and whimpers, because you were on the edge, your whole body shaking during those ten seconds.  

‘One, almost there.’ Tom’s voice was equally breathless and wretched. ‘Zero. Come baby girl, come on my cock. Come on.’  

To the permission and encouragement, you started coming immediately without even fully registering it. It took a few seconds to really reach your peak. Your mouth opened to a silent O while your body shook and convulsed under the force of your orgasm. The small, wet hole tightening around Tom and the unmistakable signs of your orgasm pushed him over too, his cock twitching and oozing his thick, warm cum into you.  

When it was over, he pulled out carefully, being aware of just how sensitive he made you. The small kisses on your shoulders sending shudders down on your arms, your eyes still closed, enjoying his closeness. He took your panties out of your mouth reaching down to use them to clean your thighs a little.  

‘Did you enjoy it?’ He asked, his lips finally finding yours for a soft, loving kiss. ‘This is what you had in mind?’ 

‘Yeah, yeah thank you.’  

‘Good, because otherwise you would be so punished at home for sticking this into my pocket. I was so fucking hard all night, darling.’ Tom softly schooled you while he turned you around trying to re arrange the both of you to a presentable state.  

‘I know and it got me so wet.’ Your tired giggle was an obvious sign of your satisfied state.  

‘Yeah?’ Tom looked at you with amusement. ‘Good, because you will wear a fresh pair now, right? And I know I’ll get hard again eventually, because you are running around with my cum in your pussy eventually dripping out of you and leaving a visible wet patch on your panties with all these very important people around us.’ As he talked you pulled out that fresh pair from your purse, he helped you to put it on, his fingers pressing the material to your entrance firmly. ‘Let’s go and enjoy the party while my hands are out of my pocket.’ 

Tag list: @terrifictomholland @itstaskeen @thegirlintheswivelchair @duskholland @sinisterspidey @tomsrebeleyebrow @annathesillyfriend @hazofmyheart @greenorangevioletgrass @worldoftom @augustholland @m-multifandom-multishipper

If you want to be or not to be tagged please let me know!

[iwadori]

Haikyu boys when they take a joke/prank too far (Iwaizumi,Daichi)

Word count: 1.9K

Genre:angst,fluff

AN: In the spirit of April Fools I tried to make my first work based on that I hope you enjoy!! (LOL I can’t actually believe this was the first thing I’ve ever written)

Iwaizumi:

“Okay so it’s April Fools Day who are we going to prank?” asked Makki “One of the first years?”

“Do we have to prank someone this year..” replied Iwaizumi “so childish”

“Iwa-Chan!” Oikawa said “Don’t be such a spoil sport.”

“Anyways, it can’t be a first year they’re boring to prank a first year coach will be mad at us, we need someone else.”

Just then, you enter the gym, catching their eye as you approach the group sitting on Iwaizumi’s lap “Hey babe, I can still come over to yours to study right?” you ask.

“Yeah of course, practice finishes early so I'll be there before you.” He said

“Alright, see you then bye babe, bye guys” you said, giving Iwaizumi a kiss on the cheek sauntering off and waving at Makki, Mattsun and Oikawa.

“bye Y/N!” They teasingly responded in unison making you laugh.

As they watched you leave, it seemed as if a lightbulb pinged off in all of their heads (besides Iwaizumi) realizing who would be a great person to prank.  

After a lot of convincing, they finally got Iwaizumi in on the ‘harmless’ plan, all they needed to do now is wait on your arrival.

You’re finally done with school after a long and tiring day of exams upon exams and wanting nothing more than to cuddle with your boyfriend (after he teaches you Pythagoras theorem of course.) You did think he was acting weird when you met him this morning in the gym and throughout break and lunch but you just concluded that it was because he was having an ‘off’ day.

You reached his house and used a copy of his key that he gave you to enter we just enter houses up in this bitch  calling out his name “Zumi-babe, I'm here...”  

“Lets get this shit over with” you said tiredly

Upon entering, you notice none of the lights being on or curtains drawn ‘odd’ you think. You go upstairs going straight to his room hopefully to find your boyfriend in his bed or on his Xbox or something. To your surprise his bedroom door was somehow locked shut (even though not having a lock on his door anyways.) Suddenly, you hear creaks slowly trailing up the stairs and an eerie feeling surrounds you... now you start to feel pretty panicked jiggling the door handle to Iwaizumi’s door as it’s practically the only place you can go.

AN: I hate what I’m writing rn but onwards we right

The footsteps on the stairs start to quicken, and you almost certain that you felt something brush pass your shoulder only adding onto the panic and anxiety that you already feel. Ok, the footsteps on the stairs are basically right near you, so doing the only logical thing you can do you body slam the ‘person’ on the stairs as you motherfuckin should  as tears fill your eyes and you pick up bag bolting through the front door, slamming it shut now in full tears and shakingly scared.

You look behind you and see Iwaizumi’s front door re-open and out comes the ‘iNFaMouS sEiJOh fOuR’ in tears... of laughter. It seems that the boys were in laughing fits that their prank ‘payed off’ getting a reaction out of you. You couldn’t see Iwaizumi’s reaction, but you didn’t care you were hurt, annoyed and wanting to get into your bed.

Once you get home, you decide to block your so called ‘friends’ who decided to make you scared shitless and ignored Iwaizumi’s messages asking “where were you today”.... the AUDACITY.  

The next day, the boy’s seemed to realize the consequences of their actions after spending the whole day trying to get your attention only to be straight up ignored. Iwaizumi is immensely regretful after all his efforts to try talking to you were denied, he decided after his practice he was going to get you to talk to him or at least get you to listen to his apologies on what happened yesterday evening.

You left your clubroom and made your way to the school gate to go home.

“Y/N!” shouted Iwaizumi touching your shoulder making you flinch ‘wow did we really scare her that bad?”  

“What do you want iwa?” You asked very agitated

“Y/N I just want to apologize for yesterday, since it was April fools day and all the boys really wanted to prank someone and I-it just happened to be-”

“It just happened to be me. Right?” you interrupted “Gosh Iwaizumi, I was really scared.. I already had a tiring day and all I wanted was my boyfriend to teach me the stupid Pythagoras Theorem and cuddle me afterwards, but no you and your friends just had to be dicks for a day” you turn around planning to walk away before he grabs you again  

“Wait! Just wait y/n, im sorry and I wont ever prank you like that again” he pleaded

“.. and i’ll help you study?” he added pulling the sweetest face of all time to try and convince you  

“ugh, fine stop pulling that face... and you better teach me Pythagoras Theorem” you said rolling your eyes

“yeah yeah whatever you say y/n” he said pulling you under his arm and walking in the direction of his house.

A/N: WOW I DID NOT like the way this turned out but its my first official thing that I wrote hopefully HOPEFULLY MY WORK IMPROVES (I THINK IT WILL) SO please join me on this ‘ride’ in improving my work  

Daichi:

You decided this morning that you were NOT going to participate in your annual April Day Fool’s prank with Tanaka and Noya... only because of your not-so new boyfriend Daichi saying he didn’t need his teammates corrupting you any longer so you decided to not get involved. With that being said you wouldn’t even think of your boyfriend pulling a prank on you so you didn’t think you’re getting pranked today.

In the gym, the boys were doing the usual: Hinata and Kageyama running after eachother, Tanaka and Noya oogling Kiyoko, Tsukishima listening to music, Yama and Yachi going over club schedules whilst Daichi sat with Sugawara and Asahi.

“So are you pranking anyone today?” sugawara asked

“Pranking someone, isn’t that a bit too juvenile suga?” Asahi replied

“Not you silly, Daichi” said sugawara “With Y/N on his arm they always have to stay on eachothers toes right..she’s a ‘jokester’ right?”

“...right?” Daichi hadn’t thought of it that way, he did know of all your joking escapades before you even got together and how you still liked to joke around now as you date.. He didn’t want you to think that you thought he was too boring for you ?

“Ok. What type of prank should I pull on her..”

Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi (who didn’t really contribute to Suga’s scheming) made a plan for you to meet him at the gym locker with the claims that he had a ‘surprise’ for you .. oh how he was wrong.

Daichi: meet me at the gym locker I have something to show you  

Y/N: Ok!! I’ll be there in 5 minutes

Daichi was nervous, and that was an understatement he didn’t want things to go left and have you thinking he couldn’t even do a simple prank. Once you got there, he saw heard you talking to Sugawara and Asahi outside the door about him wondering where he was in which Suga told you inside the locker room.

“Hey babe” you greeted “what's the occasion in why we’re in here?”

“I...uh..um I need to get something one second” Daichi spoke quickly and rushed out the room closing the door leaving you confused. Minutes passed, and you were now impatient and kinda scared since the room was dusty, dark and cold definitely not your place to be in. You tried texting Daichi but just your luck you have no service ://  

As time went on you tried opening the door but it was jammed shut no hope opening at all you forgot you left your bag outside which of course had your inhaler which did not help the sudden shortness of breath you started to get because of your asthma and claustrophobia. All you wanted was to get out of this room and talk to … Daichi.

Daichi. How convenient that he manage to slip away before the door got closed hmm but he wouldn’t intentionally prank you after ALL the lectures he gave you about not doing pranks this year right?

You didn’t notice how you started to cry and whimper wanting to leave.

On the outside, Daichi heard your cries and ordered Sugawara and Asahi to find the key to immediately get you out which it seems to take a while because Daichi has now stopped hearing your tears making him gulp in fear thinking something bad has happened to you in there.

Sugawara comes to you handing Daichi the keys, his handing shaking as he tries to unlock the door when he eventually does he finds you passed out on the ground of the dusty storage room. Very cliché I know ://

You wake up in the Nurses Office a bit confused on how you got there until your eyes land upon Daichi, remembering how you locked you in the Storage room where you had an asthma attack and passed out. You turned your body away from Daichi not wanting to talk to him right now after the hypocrisy he did.

“Y/N.. Are you alright?” He asked

“Do I look alright?” You responded in a bored tone

“I am really sorry Y/N... I know what I said to you about not doing pranks this year but Sugawara roped me into this and I didn’t want you to think I was too boring for you so I thought doing this prank would make you see me in a different light” he said

“yeah i saw you in a different light alright” you sassed, you then realised what he said ‘too boring’ kind of feeling less mad and more sad that he feels this way “Dai, you’d never be to boring for me … you’re one of the most funness is that a word? guys I've ever met.”

“really?” he asked  

“Of course! I’m kind of still mad at you for letting this happen but I do sort of understand why” you said giving him a hug.

You were eventually cleared to go home and as you left the clinic you saw Asahi and Sugawara standing at the door.  

“Y/N WE’RE SORRY” they bowed to you waiting on your responses

You chuckled slightly at their cuteness and ruffled both of their hair “all is forgiven, just make sure there’s ‘pranks’ this year “

Which they agreed upon.  

A/N: WOW I DID NOT like the way these turned out but its my first official thing that I wrote hopefully HOPEFULLY MY WORK IMPROVES (I THINK IT WILL) SO please join me on this ‘ride’ in improving my work. Feedback is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED and request too since I will literally write whatever...

I may do a part 2 … any particular characters people want?

[whosjunglejim4322]

Warnings: SMUT, insecurities but mark just needs a lil reassurance abt how good he makes you feel, finger fucking/sucking, he cums in his pants, fluff bc yall r in love love <3

Mark knows he's being irrational about this whole ordeal. One conversation shouldn't be getting under his skin like it is, but this one thing seems to be knocking at the forefront of his brain, throwing him out of focus as of late.

So what, you masturbate. It's normal, he's not there all the time, of course you do. He does too, but he also becomes outrageously horny everytime he so much as thinks about your skin or the way you kiss him. And it's safe to say he thinks about you alot. Alot alot.

"It's different, though? I'm a guy, we jerk off an outrageous amount," he argues, furrowing his eyebrows as you stare up at his pacing form from the bed, grinning. He's cute when he's flustered.

"And girls just...aren't supposed to get horny without the help of a guy?" You inquire.

He stops pacing at this, slumping his shoulders. "that's not what I mean, I just-" he sighs, plopping himself next to you on the edge of the bed. He chews on the inside of his lip for a moment before shaking his head.

"Nevermind, I'm just tired." He runs his fingers through his disheveled hair, looking at you apologetically with his big doe eyes.

You're still amused, giggling as you reach over to cup his rosy hued cheeks, pulling him to your mouth for a kiss.

"A little toy could never replace you, my love."

You'd reassured him that night by wrapping your lips around his dick, and he was too lost in the belly aching anticipation and bliss of it all, to really pay attention to what it was you'd just said.

A little toy.

He hasn't stopped thinking about it. It's both slightly irritating, while also being the new source of his sexual frustration when he's supposed to be practicing. He thinks it may be more irritating than the ladder though, because as much as he hates to admit it, he is a jealous creature. 

It's silly, childish and he knows it. Maybe that's why he's so unsettled by this, because he knows that you love him. He knows you like his dick, from what you've expressed. But, maybe he's doing something wrong?

Maybe you just don't want to to wound his ego, and instead act like his dick is enough to satisfy you. Of course, he knows some sensations are better than others, but how often do you need to touch yourself? Does he not please you enough in the moments you two are together?

These questions still nag him when he walks into your apartment at around 7:35 pm, causing worry to crease between his brows.

You, of course, pick up on this when you round the corner from your bedroom to see him making his way towards you, lost in thought. Your arms snake around his middle and your lips place a kiss to his jaw. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"What's got you all mopey?" You ask, searching for any signs of pain or discomfort in his eyes, only to be stumped by his undreadable expression. Maybe he's just had a long day?

He hums, broken from his self depricating reverie, evidently not realizing he's wearing his emotions so blatantly.

"Nothin' just tired, wanted to come home." He buries his face in the crook of your shoulder once you've pulled him into your room, his breath warm against your neck.

You must've just taken a shower, skin the scent of his favorite soap that always has him sniffing you randomly throughout the day. He squeezes you tighter.

You kiss the side of his head, reluctantly pulling yourself away only to grab his hands and move to the bed, not believing that there's nothing more than just fatigue that's got his usual goofy smile hidden behind such a frustrated countenance.

You crawl onto his lap once his back is against the headboard, his hands slipping underneath your shirt to rub your back, a habit when he's nervous. He knows what's coming, already avoiding your eyes.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, Mark Lee? No excuses, this time." You mean business, but your voice is still as soft and comforting as ever. He can't resist looking up at you once you stroke his cheek with your thumb, featherlight.

With a drawn out breath, he reluctantly responds, knowing it'll only eat at him further if he doesn't.

"It's just....I feel like maybe I don't do enough for you...sexually? Like, I know everyone masturbates and It's totally fine you use a toy and stuff, I just feel like...like maybe It's better than...than what I can do? I know I'm not the most experienced but-"

He's stuttering, ears tomato red at the tips and he's a bit perplexed to see such a jubilant smile spreading across your face as he rubs the back of his neck, embarassed beyond belief.

"Mark..." you cup his soft, blazing cheeks in your palms, forcing him to meet your gaze as squeamish as he's suddenly become. "you're that upset over something like this?"

You don't sound judgemental nor teasing, despite the way you're grinning. But still, he wants to hide his face, wants to bow his head in shame. Suddenly he feels very foolish.

Not being able to stand seeing him so crestfallen, you reassure him, trurthfully. Your heart aches.

"Hey hey, look at me bub," wide doe eyes stare back at you, as you move some of his hair out from in front of his forehead where the strands have fallen. "you are more than enough, so good that when you're away I cant stand it. I have to touch myself, and I'm not just saying that."

His expression has regained some confidence, though you're not done yet. You've got this determination swirling in the pit of your belly, thrumming through your veins. You want him to know how truly incredible he really is, how good he really makes you feel.

"I think about your hands, your mouth, your dick. And you know what? By the end of it I'm not even satisfied, because that little toy isn't you. Do you understand? Hmm? Or do I have to show you?"

Suddenly his heartbeat is loud in his ears, adams apple bobbing as he swallows. He's hardened underneath you and you known that you've got him.

"I-I understand, now. But you could still show me, you know. If you want." His voice is a little unsteady but the corners of his soft, pink mouth twitch at the corners with an echo of a smile.

It's too much, Mark Lee absolutely will be the death of you. And so you kiss him, in a way that has his toes curling and his arms wrapping around your middle like a boa, refusing to let go.

Your fingers are tiwsted in his hair as you suck on his plush bottom lip, a gasp leaving his throat when your teeth nibble the sensitive skin. He can feel your hardened nipples through your sweater, pressing against his chest.

Your knees have tightened around the small of his waist as well, crotch rubbing against the strained bulge in his basketball shorts. You whine into his mouth.

"Mm, you should feel how wet you make me," his hands venture lower at this, until his warm fingertips are pressing into the flesh of your thighs. "go ahead Markie, touch me."

He groans, not being able to hold it back from his chest at the sound of your voice and your generous offer. His fingers, delicate and eager rub your pussy through your lounge shorts, and his jaw slacks a bit at your lack of underwear.

Your tongue slips against his, mouths parted and greedy while he slips his hand into the warmth of your shorts - and practically whines.

He wasn't expecting the abundance of your essence, the utter and complete lack of friction as his digits glide effortlessly through your silken folds. He takes his ring finger and presses the pad of it against your entrance, circling and listening to the lewd, slick sounds.

"Oh fuck," he croons free hand on your lower back and urging you against his touch. "you're s-so wet already, how are you so wet?" He's mystified, and completely fucked.

"I told you." You kiss him again, swallowing his reply and grinding your pussy against his palm. Without warning, he slips a finger in, and then another, falling apart at the way your walls so eagerly welcome them. He trembles.

"Mm, Mark." You're reaching down, underneath his arm and gripping his length, hot in your hand underneath the slinky material of his shorts. He twitches.

Suddenly his fingers are curling inside of you, and he begins to languidly pump them in and out of your sopping heat, on fire from his toes to the top of his head. You have to grip onto his shoulders, momentarily forgetting your previous endeavor of palming his dick.

He doesn't mind, not when you're whining like this, fingers digging into his skin, your body rocking against his while your walls hug and squeeze around his digits.

"Does it feel good?" He asks genuinley, but already knows the answer, too high off of this moment to not want his ego stroked. Your eyebrows are furrowed, lips kiss bitten, skin hot to the touch. You can barely make out an answer, and he swears all the blood in his body rushes straight to his dick.

"S-so good Markie - harder, please." You bury your face in the crook of his shoulder as tour thighs tremble around his narrow hips, lips trembling against his throat. He obliges you happily, anything to have you wilting against him like this. To hear more of the sounds you're making, for him.

Anyone outside the door would know whats going on, with the squelching of your wetness and the vigor in which he's fucking you with his fingers, heel of his palm nudging your clit with each thrust. You already feel that pit of pressure inside your belly expanding, so close to the brink of exploding.

He's fairing the same, if he's honest. You're rubbing up against the painful, throbbing boner in his bottoms, hidden behind only a thin layer of clothing. Your juices have leaked, leaving your own shorts wet at the crotch and the sight is erotic in a way that makes him buck up against you.

His free hand cups your face when he adds a third finger, pulling you from his shoulder to look at your face.

He damn near blows his load right then and there.

You look like you're on the verge of tears, not able to hold yourself up straight. A blush burns his skin, when you lean into his touch, fingers grasping at the front of his white tee.

"M'gonna cum soon Markie."

His heart threatens to explode from his chest when you turn your head and suck his thumb into your warm mouth, closing your eyes and bliss while his fingers pump into you, buried to the third knuckle.

This causes him to thrust into you with a sudden jolt, and the way his fingertips rub against the sweet spot deep inside of you, has the build up of pleasure finally spilling over like a broken dam.

The fingers on either of his hands are soaked now, one with your saliva and the other with your cum. You're gripping onto his wrists, letting him massage the inside of your walls while they contract around him, eyes rolled to the back of your head.

The sight, the feeling, is too much. You're a mess, a beautiful, sopping wet mess and without warning it's like a freight train is hitting him at full force, cock twitching willdy as pure bliss seeps through his pores.

You're still shivering, humping his hand while spurts of cum fill the inside of his shorts, dripping down the crease of his thigh and even soaking through the material a bit. Your eyes are barely able to open, but you will them to when you hear the almost imperceptible groan that strains from his throat when your heartbeat finally stops drumming so loudly in your ears.

Your belly lurches, skin tingly to the touch as he slumps against the headboard, peering up at you with more adoration than you can handle.

"I-I came in my pants." He breathes out, panting heavily alongside you. The thrill that runs down your spine like a tremor at the realization that he's cum, untouched, because of you, is what allows you to have half the mind to pull his fingers from your aching heat - replacing the others in your mouth.

His head lolls to the side, honey eyes trained on you like it’s impossible to look away while you suck your juices from his digits, humming around them. It's like he's staring up at the sun, mesmerized.

And then you're kissing him, and he's sure he's gone to heaven. He tastes you on the tip of your own tongue, and you're so sweet, so tender when you grasp his cheeks.

"I came in my pants too, by the way. Technically." You smile, and he chuckles warmly, giddy. His arms encapsulate you and he nudges the tip of your nose with his own.

The toy can have its fun, he thinks to himself. Because really, truly, nothing - and no one, will ever be as lucky and as enamored as he is with you.

[fwkei]

Remember...?

Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)

Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy 

TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work

WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)

Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao

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You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.

What now?  

You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing 

You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own. 

You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more. 

“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes 

“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head 

“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up 

“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down 

You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.  

This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat. 

Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid. 

Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything. 

As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face. 

“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you 

“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails 

“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head 

“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair 

“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness 

“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously 

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling 

“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema 

“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked 

“Oh good!” they both said 

“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi 

“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited 

“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema 

“A brothel..” you said under your breath 

Your mind was in a serious state of concentration. 

It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor. 

You thought to yourself 

You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement. 

“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands 

“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk 

“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name 

“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin 

“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand 

“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly 

“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head 

“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel 

You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being. 

The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.   

“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour 

“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling 

“I’m sure..!” you smiled 

“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set 

“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again 

“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling 

“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex. 

After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.  

You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest. 

You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile 

“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed 

“Hi!” you said frantically 

“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema 

“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes 

“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready 

As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’ 

You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side. 

“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you

“Yes.” you said smiling 

“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand 

“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down

“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said 

“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands

“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing 

“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling 

“Right!” you said getting up 

“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling 

“Okay.” you said doing as he said 

He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you. 

“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous

“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers 

“Yeah that's right.” you said 

“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes 

“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face

“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said 

“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving   

You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve 

That went pretty well.

You thought 

You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open. 

“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head 

Is this Ken? 

You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you

You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are. 

“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit 

“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks 

“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables 

“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles 

“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant 

“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly. 

“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you 

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing 

“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly 

“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him. 

“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit 

“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite

“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food 

“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup

“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table 

“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake

He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something. 

“Are you okay?” you asked 

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought 

“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit 

Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something. 

Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already. 

But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him. 

“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted 

“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt 

“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi

Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave. 

Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?

He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away

Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you. 

Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work. 

As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember? 

It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before. 

Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.

You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.

“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling 

“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.

“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed 

“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.

“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen 

“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.

“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up  

You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head. 

What now..?

You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.

“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying 

“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi 

Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity. 

How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that. 

“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back

“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face 

“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out 

You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..

Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.

You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.

You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.

“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper 

“Yes.” you said still looking down

“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out 

“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock 

“Come in.” he said 

“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’ 

“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop 

Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot. 

“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you

You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile

“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave 

You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you 

You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry. 

“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said 

“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated 

“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch 

“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes 

“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist 

“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you

“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him 

You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence 

“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face

A lighter?

“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop

“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled 

“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene 

“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone 

The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face 

“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man 

“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight 

“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh 

You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.

“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle 

“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry 

“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried

“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.

“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two 

“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men 

“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face 

“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both 

You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then. 

“Here.” you said smiling at the cops 

“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you

“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks 

You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same 

“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes

“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot 

“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store 

After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.  

“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter 

“..Thanks” he said 

“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling 

“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket

“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him 

“Yeah..” he said smiling 

“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink 

“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said 

“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff 

“Why’d you do it?” he asked 

“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him 

“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face 

“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden

“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously 

“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered 

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand 

“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing 

“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”

“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “

After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.

“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.

“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up 

“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction 

He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back 

“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled. 

“Likewise.” 

And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down. 

“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”

“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop 

“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement 

“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars 

You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face. 

“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile 

“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face 

“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows 

“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor

“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him 

“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said 

“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked 

“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him 

Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..

“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen 

“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part 

“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes 

“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face

After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock. 

“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear 

“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly  

You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?

He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.

[dreamties]

Billy & Stu's Adventures in Puppy Care

18+ / NSFW Accounts Do Not Interact

A/n- I wrote this a few months ago...thought i'd finally share. sorta nervous about this :O

Word Count: 1858

description: Y/n spends the day as a sleepy, affection starved puppy with their favorite people.

ship: billy loomis / stu macher / reader

this is about SFW pet regression so don't be weird !! for the love of slasher movies, DONT. BE. WEIRD !!

Y/n comes home from work in the very early hours of the morning, exhausted to the bone and just wanting to curl up and sleep. They still had to shower off the day's grease and sweat, and start breakfast for everyone. Sleep would come...but not soon enough. They try to wipe the sleep out of their eyes as they head to the bathroom, they take a quick glance at their boys in the other room. Smiling at the sight of Billy and Stu cuddling into each other, Stu with his long arms wrapped around the smaller boy. They’re quick to scamper off to the bathroom, no matter how much they wanted to stay there and take in the gorgeous view of their beloveds so at peace. No matter how much they wanted to nestle their way in between them. Bask in their warmth.

Their shower is long, spending time stretching their limbs and properly grooming themselves. Lathering a sweet and calming lavender scented shampoo along their body. Taking too long under the shower head, making sure all the suds are washed off themself and none of it clings to the tub.

Next, is breakfast. They put up the hot water for coffee and tea. Put the bread in the toaster, sort through various items in the fridge, trying to find jam. Finally acquiring strawberry jam, and taking the butter out as well. They scramble eggs, and plate the food on three plastic dishes. They place everything at the table, finally heading off to their bedroom again to retrieve their boyfriends. They place gentle kisses to each of their foreheads, then shake them awake. Billy’s the first one up, pushing himself out of Stu’s grip- much to his begrudgement.

“Aww, c’mon! Just a little longer,” he whines.

They let out a tired chuckle, “You can cuddle more later, breakfasts ready.”

The three of them sit down, and begin to dig into the meal. Y/n gets up when they finally hear the kettle whistling, making everyone's morning beverage of choice. They sit back down, a hot mug of tea in their hands. They take a sip, slipping their tongue out as they accidentally burn it.

They shake it off, and give an apologetic look to Stu, “We’re out of your favorite, we’ll have to stop at the store tomorrow. You two don’t have work, right?”

Stu pouts and Billy answers, “Not today.”

They give a pleased smile, “Good. I’m off the rest of the weekend.”

Both of their eyes glimmer at the news- “What did you have in mind?”

“Really? I just wanna...destress for a bit. Work was awful last night.”

They both frown. “Is it your boss again?” Billy asks.

They nod.

“Y’know, we could always-” Stu begins.

They narrowed their eyes at him, “If you suggest to kill my boss again- I swear to god, Stu!”

He raises his hands up in defense, giggling and smiling. “I surrender, I surrender.”

Billy and Y/n can’t help but smile at his antics. The three of you finally finish up, dishes in the sink, coffee filters and old tea bags in the trash.

“The two of you mind cleaning the dishes?” They yawn out, rubbing at their eyes.

Billy leans against the edge of the sink, giving them a soft look, “No problem.”

“Thank you,” they sigh, slumping into Billy. Nuzzling their head against him, aching for attention.

He smiles down at them, curious- as realization slowly dawns his face. “What do you want, pup?”

They brighten at the name, continuing to nuzzle him. He brings his hands up, one to pet through their hair, the other tracing across their neck. “You want your collar?”

A few quick nods later, and moving the three of you to the bedroom- Y/n finds themselves kneeling on the ground awaiting the collar. Stu’s rummaging through piles, trying to remember where they stored the thing- it wasn’t often that their beloved found themselves in this regressed state, so they often misplaced the gear needed to keep things exciting and safe for Y/n.

Stu finally finds it, Y/n curiously sniffs at his hands, the item looking suspiciously different than usual. He pets their hair, guiding them to kneel back on the ground. He then leans down to put it around their neck- stepping back to admire their look. They turn their head to peer at Billy, showing off the pretty, red collar in the process. In big, curly letters the top of the pendant reads Y/n . Their shared apartment address is written at the bottom along with their wonderful owners' names.

“Does our little pup like their new collar?” Billy grins down at them, scratching the bottom of their chin. “Good, good baby.”

Y/n spent most of the day following their partners around as they did chores. From napping on the kitchen floor as they did the dishes to hiding in the laundry as they attempted to clean and fold it. Once or twice they go off to do their own thing- possibly planning other murders- where they leave them alone. It’s not all bad when that occurs, they find their doggy bed- a perfect fit for their size- in the living room. They rest in it’s comforting hold till their loved ones make their way back to them. They find themselves fluctuating between their regressed state of mind and not throughout the day, it finally settles to a consistent regressed state as the day comes to a close.

Billy grabs a red ceramic dog bowl from one of the bottom cupboards- it’s tucked away neatly, covered in a worn towel to prevent it’s breakage and protect it from dust. He hands the bowl to Stu, who pours a considerable amount of dry cereal into it. He moves to set it down, and Billy lets out a not entirely gentle, “Be careful.”

Stu rolls his eyes, “I’ve got it,” and places it on the ground, next to the edge of the counter. While he does that, Billy gets out bowls for them and milk from the fridge, placing two full bowls of milk and cereal on the table.

They sit down and begin to eat, idly chatting with each other. Billy tries not to laugh too hard from something moronic his boyfriend says. Sparing odd glances at their other partner, who's got their face right up against their bowl, while they happily munch up their kibble . Billy snickers, looking away from them. They were too cute and silly for their own good.

Y/n’s the first to finish up. Instead of waiting patiently for their owners, they crawl underneath the table, finding themselves next to Billy’s chair. Unbeknownst to him.

They nudge their head against his leg, achieving nothing but a small jolt of surprise.They let out a sharp whine when he doesn’t react immediately.

Billy looks underneath the table for a brief moment, “What’re you doing down there, Y/n?”

They keep rubbing at his leg. Stu, who has just finished, looks down to see what the commotion is. “Aww, they just want some love,” he grins. “C’mere.” He pats his lap, inviting them to him.

It was awkward trying to situate themself on Stu in a way that felt comfortable and puppy-like, but had little to no feelings of how non-regressed, human them would sit. They end up lying their head on his thigh, letting out a pleased noise as he pets their head.

“What kinda manners you teaching our little pup over there?” Billy teasingly remarks. He sighs, taking in the blissed out state of his partners, and how happy Stu seemed to be as he fulfilled their smallest desires. He quickly finds his way standing next to Stu’s spot.

“Let's take this to the bedroom,” he gestures away from the table. “You’ll be more comfortable, Y/n- and you.” He points a finger at Stu.

Stu chuckles, face falling slightly, and smiling nervously at Billy. “What? What’d I do?”

He smirks at him, having fun playing around with Stu, “You gonna be a good boy, too?”

“I’m not usually?”

Billy barks out a laugh, “You’re a fucking nuiscance.” It’s not said with malice, but an odd sense of affection. He glances down at Stu’s lap, noticing Y/n’s eyes drooping shut. “Looks like our baby’s getting tired.”

They perk up at the name, wide eyes staring up at Billy. The two boys chuckle. “Gonna carry em, okay?” Stu mentions, petting down their hair once more. They nuzzle against him at the idea. “You like that, huh?”

Eventually, Stu picks Y/n up, cradling them in his arms. He places them safely on the bed- though it takes as a second as they struggle with him, trying to stay wrapped in his nice, warm embrace. They whine as they’re finally left on the bed by themselves- Billy and Stu changing into proper bedroom attire. Billy’s in boxers and a white tee- while Stu has chosen quite a minimalistic approach. Boxers only. They try not to pay mind to Y/n’s whining too much, as they finally stop- dejectedly curling up on the mattress.

Stu’s quick to join them, as Billy lets out a sigh- “C’mere, baby.” They hurriedly uncurl themselves and kneel on the edge of the bed- looking up expectantly.

He places a small kiss on the top of their head, moving his hands slowly across their body- stopping at the edge of their top. He peels their clothes off, with ease and if practiced, till it’s nothing but bare skin. They press into him, thankful for his help. He kisses them again, and holds his hand against their head in a gentle manner. Hugging them close to himself. “It’s okay, love.”

Stu comes from behind pulling the two of you down with him. Y/n lets out a surprised squeak along with a series of giggles. They find themselves laying against his chest, while Billy’s over both of them, trying not to accidentally hurt Y/n. It’s warm in the middle of it, and they feel protected. Stu’s got an arm lazily playing with Billy’s hair, and the other hung around Y/n’s shoulders.

The three of them don’t stay in the position long. Comfortable? Yes. But no one, even their little pup, would want to stay the whole night like this. They needed- and deserved- a proper night of sleep. Especially after their long and tiring day of work, and having to deal with their hardass of a boss. (If he ended up missing or found dead within the following days...well, he had it coming.)

Y/n’s practically asleep when they try moving themselves around. They tuck their little puppy in first, peppering them with kisses and little reassurances. Then Stu climbs under, after sharing a quiet kiss with his boyfriend. Billy’s the last to get in- both boys curling their bodies in a way that allowed their pup to safely cocoon themselves in the middle. Their small bundle of love secured in their grasp. Billy whispers small “I love you”s, as sleep finally takes them in.