#my website content is better

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Gods Are Up!

I am being very irresponsible about using Tumblr for updates like I promised! Well, my stylus tips aren't here yet, and the spouse is working on a paper, but I don't have the grey matter to do a real deep dive like I was gonna do on days beginning with T. So, here's an update! I got the list of Invisibles up on the site a few days ago and forgot to tell anyone.

I'm highlighting Lame Anthony [above] because I happen to have a full figure image of him. I gave all of them cute little representative graphics like this:

...which is probably more appropriate for a load of invisible creatures who can only tell mere mortals what they look like and what to call them.

Here are Anthony's stats!

Description: A thin man with a crooked stance and light-coloured hair. Either depicted in Medieval peasant garb or frayed jeans and a T-shirt — with varying accuracy as “jeans” and “T-shirts” took quite some time to appear in their modern incarnation. He does not wear shoes.

Personality: Hyperfocused Space Cadet.

Speciality: Protector of Broken Things. Uncertain how much he’s actually able to do.

Wants: To Admire Anything Broken. The best offerings to Lame Anthony are still in use and have a unique new function due to their brokenness.

Power Level: +/- 0 — he is an Invisible, but there is something wrong with him which may or may not make it impossible for him to do anything. At the very least it is hard for him to do things.

Difficulty Level: 11 — damn near impossible to hold, unable to stay long enough to take any action in a human body, beyond speaking a few words.

AKA: Anton the Broken (Prokovia), Ikswotangi (a museum piece, crayon on cardboard, purported to be the work of an art student who held him long enough to let him sign his own name. It also includes a mysterious sigil, forked lines resembling the track of a bird with a wobbly circle drawn around them, considered a poor attempt at a human figure by most.)

Notes

Even the gods aren’t perfect. Lame Anthony is here to raise questions about just what the hell it means to exist as an Invisible. If they’re not defined by their ability to do things, then what are they? In any case, he seems to be a happy transcendental being and Hyacinth’s house is basically his church.

He is protective of Erik, but he may not be able to do much to help anyone.

He got his own tarot card because he's always hanging around and he's thematically appropriate. I put him in Hyacinth's kitchen - which is a background I finished recently for Hyacinth's tarot card. He's made himself some paper dolls/shadow puppets, two of which are missing pieces of their heads (Erik and Hyacinth) and one of which has a chunk out of its heart (Mordecai). He's holding the broken wooden spoon he likes in between his teeth, as if it's a rose and he's about to do a tango. The scissors and paper scraps are all over the floor around his bare feet. I don't think he can really move physical objects like that, but he would if if could.

This is my take on Judgement, which has similar figures in similar positions with a totally different context.

That's a divine being (an angel) with an object in its mouth (a trumpet) above smaller human figures (man, child, and woman) with their arms raised. That's the wakeup call for Judgement Day, though. Lame Anthony is much more uncritical and accepting!

Since my eyes aren't working right and I adopted this new, simplified style, people and things are in black, and stuff that you can't see is in pure light - sometimes coloured, but the Invisibles are always plain white. (Unless I come up with a thematic reason to make an exception!)

Note music (which is heard and not seen) in white, and pink and aqua halo indicating Milo is enjoying his steampunk DDR experience. As I was putting this one together, I was about to put a smile on Milo's face (he does manage one occasionally, when he's not overthinking it) then I thought, "Milo should not be obligated to smile for the audience to know he is happy." In text, he doesn't have to, so I came up with a way to do that for him in pictures.

Lame Anthony is based mostly on this guy:

...at least in function and personality. Reverend Jim was definitely the least functional cabbie of the group, but everyone put up with him because you knew he couldn't help it and he was so damn nice. But I don't think Anthony sounds like him. Too excitable and focused. Jim is more liable to say, "Okay," and follow you if you tell him to quit doing something. Anthony will smile at you, wave, and wander right into traffic. Which will blow right through him, as he doesn't have a body and no one's managed to hold him for more than a minute, so it's fine.

If you're not reading Tin Soldier and Soldier On... You have no idea what I'm talking about. But, Invisibles mess with people and reality itself, some of them call themselves saints, angels, or fairies, and people call them gods. You can never get a consistent story out of them about anything. Maybe they made people, maybe people made them, maybe they are people, maybe they were never people... And none of that really matters because if you keep them happy they'll do things for you, and that's all people want from them.

...Except Lame Anthony. He can't really do anything. But maybe that doesn't matter either. He's living his best, uh, whatever-it-is.

I think all the gods I've featured in-story so far have an entry, and there are a few in there you'll meet later. All this stuff is Creative Commons and Share Alike, so if you like any of this god business, you can take it and run with it. Probably there's typos and formatting errors, and I want to do one more illustration for the music, but it's all legible and I made it and I think it's fun.

Yes, my few readers, David (or whatever that is) has an entry too!

In other news: I can't do any more art until I fix my stylus, and I'm going to donate to Whole Women's Health for April, kicking off at least four months of spite donations to women's healthcare providers, but I haven't yet. I've managed to get an appointment with a specialist after a year of begging my family doctor, and I'm anxious and exhausted, not yet knowing if I'm gonna go through another uphill slog to get any actual help. Or if they'll help me at all, I guess. That's taking up a lot of my headspace, so I"m gonna be all over the place this week.

I apologize in advance if I over-or-under-correct my weird behaviour over the next few days.

[bylrndgm]

JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS (2020) // JULIE E OS FANTASMAS (2011) 1.01 - Wake Up // 1.01 - Enfrentando Fantasmas -> Julie meets the Band.

[prettyinpwn]

Everybody Huff Copium with Me at ~4:30 PM Today

There may or may not be a Disney channel event today at D23 that, in light of The Book of Bill's release alongside the website being "fixed" yesterday, seems perfectly timed for a good old communal copium session. You know, for reasons.

[ironunderstands]

Ykw being banned on TikTok ain’t so bad actually because now instead of actively contributing I can haunt the community like an unwelcome ghost with vaguely referenced theories of mine from this website

[oh-meow-swirls]

it's kind of weird to me that they didn't bother releasing sushi and tempura internationally at all but at the same time i'm kinda glad they didn't cuz like. yo-kai watch was financially failing in the west by the time 3 released. i feel like if they had released sushi and tempura the franchise would've completely tanked before we got sukiyaki which would've sucked. honestly if anything i feel like it's more surprising that we got all three versions of 2 instead of them just releasing psychic specters but tbf i think yo-kai watch was doing well in the west when 2 released. 2 is just inexplicably what killed the franchise despite being a masterpiece-

[vynegar]

luke empyrean’s touch MR messages

disclaimer: this is a fan translation and i am not fluent in chinese, so keep in mind that there will be mistakes. feel free to let me know if you have questions, concerns, or comments.

do not repost without explicit permission. if you want to quote this or reference parts of the translation, credit and link back to me.

check my masterlist for more translations.

listen to the messages in S-CHN here and T-CHN here.

Title: Embrace (拥怀)

Private Message 1: With My Name

My dear Watson. It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve used that name.

Do you still remember the day we reunited, when you stood on the street corner calling my name?

The weather that day was just like today – the sun shining, a warm breeze.

The way you called out to me with some surprise and hesitation in your voice, reminded me of the first time you called me when we were kids.

Like a newly-discovered continent, it constantly surrounded me, continuing to call my name.

Luke, Luke, Luke…

As if you would never tire out, even sleep-talking during your afternoon nap.

When the grown-ups weren’t paying attention, I snuck out of my blankets over to your bed to respond to your call.

I never imagined that over time, it’d become a conditioned reflex.

Later at school, if you just mentioned my name when talking with classmates, I would think that you were calling me…

I’d always look at you instinctively, then realize that most of the time it was my mistake.

Fortunately, after all these years I still have that alertness, to be able to respond when you call me.

Now that I think about it, maybe my name was destined to belong to you.

It’s a spell meant only for you. No matter how far apart we are or how long we’ve been separated…

As long as you call out that name, I will arrive at your side.

Private Message 2: Nightmare

A few days ago when I was cleaning my room, I found some old things.

Do you remember? For a while, it was really popular in Stellis to popularize legal knowledge through mythology stories.

The girls at school loved dressing up as the goddess Themis to participate in cultural activities.

That time, your mom bought you a goddess costume too. A white toga, a gold crown… it was exquisite.

Oh right! You even made me make a longsword for you to go along with it.

It was too big for you to carry though, so I kept it for you the whole time. Our classmates joked that I was “the goddess’s loyal knight”.

Maybe I thought about it so much that it showed up in my dreams, too. I dreamed that you were dressed up as Themis.

You were standing at the end of a pathway surrounded by lilies in bloom, tightly gripping that longsword.

For some reason, I felt uneasy in that moment…

I subconsciously wanted to run to your side, but the lilies were trampled under my footsteps.

The fallen petals blocked my path forward… You stared at me mournfully.

I shouted your name, but… you were completely unable to hear me.

And like that, you gradually disappeared right in front of me. All that was left in the field… was a sculpture of Themis.

I frantically picked up the sword you had dropped, like a humble knight that had lost whom he was loyal to.

I kept watch there, silently, for so long… Until finally, the soil once again bloomed with pure white lilies…

Then, I suddenly woke up. Why did I have that kind of a dream?

Most people would comfort themselves by saying, “Dream are the opposite of reality.”

But I can’t help but wonder, what would be the opposite of this dream?

Is it yearning for the past, being troubled by the present, or… foreshadowing the fu ture?

Regardless of which one it is, though, the only thing I’m sure of right now is…

My fate is to know you, and be at your side.

[ikosburneraccount]

thinking back to my tlc posts in 2015-16 i was soooooo valid for calling kai “emperor foot fetish.” like i genuinely thought i was being dramatic or dragging tf out of the foot jokes but no. even in retrospect kai is still unhinged for hoarding her foot like he is no less insane than i remember him being like 7 (BARF) years ago 

[stranger-awakening]

this is actually the worst thing that has ever happened to me

[essektheylyss]

.

[armanicaesar]

i gotta start a sza blog like next week maybe

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

I consistently lose about 20 subscribers every time I post to Webtoon. I be getting emails from the site being like “It’s been a while! Give your subscribers an update!” like girl it’s better if I don’t.

[becausegoodbye]

A home to treasure, a home to flee

(**This post contains big-time spoilers for Citizen Sleeper and Life is Strange: True Colors. No way around it! **)

In the last year, I've had two experiences with video games that unearthed some interestingly divergent intuitions in me.

In one, the game let me make a precarious little home for myself, and even though it kept giving me opportunities to leave – it really seemed like it hoped I'd leave, to strike out somewhere in pursuit of a better life – I clung to the fragile little home I'd created, savouring its small earned pleasures.

In the other, the game gave me a home, aesthetically dazzling and too good to be true, with a hideous past which the game desperately wanted me to forgive and to stay – laying it on thick about how beautiful it would be if I stayed – and I found I couldn't flee fast enough.

It makes me wonder a bit about my relationship to home.

*

Citizen Sleeper is one of my favourite games I've played in a long time. It's quietly etched its place on the list I keep in my mind of "proper Hall of Fame indie games", along with Celeste and Immortality and at most a dozen others. It's a game whose ambitions are restrained, but the light touches of its writing are pretty much all paintbrush-perfect.

In it, you play a Sleeper, a degraded kind of worker-clone, carrying the emulated consciousness of a real person inside a crummy bio-android body that'll fall apart if it doesn't get regular injections of corporate-controlled medicine. Your entire existence is a method of skirting labour laws. You managed to escape your corporate labour-camp, but now you're on this random space station with no money or friends, and your biological meltdown-clock is ticking. Just gotta keep moving, keep working, keep trying to figure something out.

I won't give a full review of the mechanics and story; what I really want to talk about right now is the apartment. In Citizen Sleeper, you're always choosing how to allocate your limited time and energy, and if you want, you can choose to spend an irresponsible amount of both fixing up an abandoned apartment unit, using scrap metal to try to plug up the holes and make it livable. This is, frankly, the best thing. With how nightmarishly precarious every aspect of your existence as a runaway Sleeper is, just to be able to lay your head somewhere that's yours is blissful.

And then – most special of all – once you've fixed up the apartment, a stray cat will sometimes stop by, and you can spend some money to feed it some crushed-up crackers. The cat never becomes yours (it always maintains its independence, coming and going as it pleases), but you can know each other. You can become part of the weave of each other's lives. Even in this hostile capitalist hell-hole, even with a body constantly on the verge of betraying you: you can eat some delicious spiced fungus and have a cat stroke itself against your thighs. Things can be worth it.

As I got on top of my finances and found a steady source of medicine, I only found myself more and more attached to my apartment. Some missions take you right over the other side of the space station, and (because it can take ages to get back) the game frequently offers you places to crash that are much closer to where you need to be. I didn't use them once. Once I'd fixed up the unit, I slept every single subsequent night of the game there, even if it meant traveling a silly distance to get there and back. I wanted to get back because, first, it was my home, and second, I had to feed the stray cat. It might miss me if I were gone.

As you get further into Citizen Sleeper, the game offers you all sorts of ways to get off the station. You can work/cheat your way onto a huge colony ship that's set to begin populating a new and uninhabited planet. You can hitch a ride with a mercenary and start a more knowingly dangerous kind of life. You can fuse your consciousness with a cyber-organic plant-consciousness, 'Grow Vast and Strange', and lose your sense of a distinct self entirely.

I didn't go for any of them. I got my friends on board the colony ship and waved goodbye to them. I gave the mercenary the cold shoulder. I thanked the plant-consciousness profusely for the opportunity, but wistfully turned away from what it was offering. I kept choosing to return to my own small world on the station: to the apartment, to the stray, to Emphis' spiced fungus stand, to Lem & Mina & Tala & Riko, and to all the tiny meaningful markers of the life I'd built for myself here.

This was my life. I'd made it, and that meant everything.

*

Life is Strange: True Colors is a much weirder game, and one I'd recommend to far fewer people. I've written before about my complicated feelings about the Life is Strange series, which have a tendency to take huge emotional swings with subjects that they're not really mature enough to handle responsibly. That's part of their appeal, admittedly: these games absolutely go for it, and even when they stumble, it's usually pretty compelling.

In True Colors, you play as Alex Chen, a shy 21-year-old orphan with a kind of superpowered empathy. She can read people's thoughts a bit, sometimes even accessing their memories, and when somebody near her is experiencing a big emotion, she gets overwhelmed with a mirrored version of it. This got her branded as 'emotionally unstable' in the Oregon foster care system, so she struggled to be adopted. She lost touch with her older brother Gabe after he was placed with a different foster family, but eight years later, with his own life straightened out, Gabe was able to track her down, and invite her to come live with him in the idyllic little mountain town called Haven Springs.

I won't go beat-by-beat through the whole plot, because it's bonkers and byzantine, but the key points are these. (Again, full spoilers.) After Alex and Gabe's dad abandoned them when Alex was 11, he ended up working for a locally hegemonic mining company called Typhon in Haven Springs. Later, Gabe tried to track him down, and Haven Springs was where the trail went cold. This turns out to be because their dad died in a hideous mine collapse, along with several other miners. A local foreman named Jed Lucan got credited as a 'hero' for saving the miners who survived, but in reality he was the one who chose to abandon the others to their deaths, and Typhon conspired with him to cover it all up.

When Gabe came to Haven Springs looking for their dad, that same foreman, Jed, now the owner of a local bar, felt guilty about having left this kid fatherless, and treated Gabe with a lot of generosity. He set Gabe up with a job in his bar, let him rent the great loft apartment upstairs, and really just ensconced Gabe in Haven Springs life (obviously without telling him the murdery truth). Then, when Gabe is finally able to track down his little sister Alex, he wants to pass on the generosity, and offers you the loft. He’s moving in with his girlfriend, you and your brother are finally back in each other’s lives, and it all seems too good to be true.

It is. Almost immediately after arriving in town, Gabe is killed – by the very same mining corporation – while up in the mountains trying to rescue his girlfriend's kid. Typhon were told that there were people in the area and they needed to delay their blast, but they knowingly went ahead with it anyway, because (it turns out) they needed the noise to cover up a second, more illegal scheduled blast nearby. That second blast was to fully cave in the old mine and bury the evidence of the incident that killed Alex and Gabe's father, in preparation for a coming inspection that could have uncovered the deaths.

So essentially: your brother was murdered casually, incidentally, as part of covering up your dad's murder from years ago.

I'm delivering this information in a totally different order than the game does (there, the relevation that Jed let miners die and your dad was among them comes very late), but I'm laying it all out so you understand the chronology of events. Just lay it all out flat in your mind. You're Alex, and you find yourself living in this town that seems pretty wonderful – picturesque and warm, with an economy of little other than bars and flower shops and record stores – but you eventually discover that both your father and your brother have been murdered here. You also discover that the person who's been kindest to you, the surrogate father-figure who let you work in the bar and live in the loft virtually rent-free, is the evil fuck who killed your dad.

You do eventually empathy-detective your way to exposing all this, of course. By the end of the game, Jed is going to prison, and Typhon is facing the absurdly (but not unrealistically) softer consequences of 'their CEO resigning' and 'their stock price taking a hit'. But then – and this is the part I've needed to go over all this melodramatic plot in order to talk about – the game wants you to stay in Haven Springs.

Alex's final choice is whether to stay or leave. Somehow, you're still living in the loft of the murderer you put in jail, and it's implied that you can just keep doing that. The game gives you an option to leave – to go off on a scrappy music tour with your indie girlfriend Steph – but the game gilds the lily heavily in favour of staying. You have an entire conversation with an imaginary ghost-projection of Gabe, and he spins this whole fantasia about how wonderful your life could be if you simply stayed, let "time do its thing", and commit to transforming this place.

But like ... fuck that, right? Fuck that!!!

As far as I'm concerned, this is a "noping out of a horror movie" situation. By the end of True Colors, Haven Springs feels cursed. This tiny pretty town is where every existing member of your family was murdered. What, you're literally just gonna stick around limply hoping they won't murder you too? While the hegemonic mining corporation is still stalking around, knowing you did this to them?

Like, Alex. Dude. These white people are not safe. The Chens are seemingly the only Asian-American family in a hundred miles, and the track record of Chens not getting murdered by the biggest and most powerful local employer is bad. Sure, that one guy is in prison now, but the problem was never that one guy. Underneath this town is a seam of raw murder and lies and evil, and everyone being so saccharine-sweet to you all game long only makes that fact worse. You can’t escape your trauma, you can’t escape your brother and father having been killed, and you can’t escape the horrorshow of capitalism – but you surely don’t have to stay here.

It's hard to overstate how repulsed I felt by the prospect of staying in Haven Springs. While Citizen Sleeper had me taking pride in the modest, scrappy life I'd clawed out for myself in the margins, True Colors felt like the complete opposite. It felt like a series of overbearingly loaded gifts, all lush and pretty and tailor-made, but with a violent catch spring-loaded inside every pocket. It felt like the bashful smile of a poisoner offering you a drink. All of my instincts were to run.

*

Some day soon, I'm sure I'll be able to write a thing about videogames without tying it back to transness, but look – I'm two months on HRT. Right now everything feels connected with transitioning, and I'd be lying if I said the trans-relevance of this little parable didn't occur to me immediately.

My body is the home I was given, and I’ve always lived here uneasily. I’ve never known what to do with the ‘gifts’ that came with being read as a guy (most of them are still half-unwrapped in the back of my closet). Everyone wanted me to like it here, expected me to like it here – why wouldn’t you like it here? – but I just didn’t. A seam under the surface was wrong, and kept itching. I don’t want this to come across as a matter of pure contrarianism, but being real: the amount of contrarianism at work here probably isn’t zero. The world tried to give me a gender I’d like – a whole sweet-ass loft if you just ignore the murders – and I’m leaving. I’m off to make my own thing. And even if it’s objectively shittier in tons of ways, I’m confident I’ll like it more.

Between Citizen Sleeper and True Colors, my inescapable conclusion is: I would rather sit alone in this cold empty abandoned apartment than live in Haven Spring's paradise. I would rather chew fungus and scrape for corpo-medicine as a girl than be the beloved centre of a twinkling idyll as a guy. Haven Springs is so pristine and gorgeous, so flush with friends and flowers and foosball, but at a certain point you just can't unsee the seam of wrongness under everything. Whereas the kind of life you can build in Citizen Sleeper – the crummy apartment, the stray cat, all the friends you make and all the people who pass you by – feels infinitely stronger to me. Infinitely more earned. Infinitely more durable and darnable and real.

[lordiavolo]

it just honestly makes me want to cry im getting ghost notes i know someones stalking me abusers always fucking win its not fucking fair i hate it

[suenitos]

.

[jaythelay]

We need more AmazingAtheist centric content to get Gen Z men on our side and I'm not fucking kidding.

If you want GenZ Ya'll gotta get comfortable saying the N word and being less hostile towards other verbiage and I'm Not Even Kidding.

If you want the Gen-Z vote you're going to have to focus on the shit Republicans do and not Who to Protect/Stand up for and I'm Not Even Kidding.

If you want the Gen-Z vote you're going to have to "Brigade", Infiltrate, and make a Twitter account, and spam what Republicans actually think and I'm Not Even Kidding. (This is what they've been doing the whole time)

We need to pop these echobox's bubbles through sheer information shoving. If they thought any ideology was being crammed down their throats? You need to show them what that's like but in reverse, show what they believe, what they have done and plan to do, in broad daylight. Go to r/conservative and act like you're excited about a part of Project 2025 that you Know they'll disagree with. Go on Twitter and post under any Republican's page the same thing. Make their Ideology Horrifying And Public.

Make Them Self-Reflect.

Make Leftism Cool.

[sporkfan14]

an interesting development in this election cycle is that i am now getting ads in which right-wing dudebro podcasters/influencers with bad haircuts unenthusiastically reverse their stance on voting and say that actually it does matter and you should do it and can register at the link below

like, buddy, put some joie de vivre into it. i can tell that you're new at this because you suck. the libs are owning you man, they're genuinely and earnestly out there getting people signed up while you're treating this like an ad read for Raid: Shadow Legends.

it's really funny to see them caught up in the conundrum of being obviously paid to encourage people to genuinely engage in civics while also not being so enthusiastic that they lose the attention and respect of their audience whose primary sense of identity is rooted in ironic detatchment from society.