#my voice is very femme tho

[castaccio]

Ive been thinking about some of the really funny audios that came out of AI-voiced Layton characters (DearestHershel's "Villains play Minecraft" videos, The Town that Makes You Old, etc).

And like, they're *entertaining,* but they could be so much funnier (and ethical as a plus) with impressionists. Phone-mic, unprofessional VAs having a hilarious time.

The question is, then, would anyone be interested in helping make that? I'm wayy to busy to lead a project like that, but it would be so amazing to make that happen...

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

i want top neuvillette who's still femme and a crybaby my god is that so hard

[phagodyke]

actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then

[moth-tea-merchant]

Me, rambling about Peitha? It's more likely then you thing!

[ft. a talk about the way tumblr treats female characters]

kinda outta nowhere post, tho this came back to my mind bcs of the small conversation around the way female characters are treated and viewed on gw2 Tumblr. Fair warning I am not planing to try and surge coat my words here, apologies if I will be coming off as harsh, blunt or accusatory but I wish to make my opinions and my experience clear. While this no longer affects my mood and enjoyment as much as it did when the "conversation" was fresh. I am still very disappointed in the fandom/community for jumping onto take/narrative that Peitha is and was just "generic sexy demon woman and just fan service" listen, I have 0 issues with the sentiment and opinions of wishing she had looked more like her brothers. That isn't an unreasonable want to have had. However [while I wont be naming names bcs it wasn't ever one person] it seems many people took that as an opportunity and excuse to tare down and insult any of her feminine appearance. "she has lip enhancements" "She has curves" "They gave her eyelashes even tho she has no hair" "they textured her ass that way for the men" All of these are things I've seen said. And I simply want to ask, why are these bad things? Why is the fact Peitha has the illusion of curves, a more full upper lip, modeled yet subtle lashes, and a juicy ass covered by a flesh skirt bad things or inherently sexual? Why do they deem her design fan service/generic sexy demon woman?

Why is it that having physically feminine traits deems a female character inherently sexual and negative?

The one thing you can point to with her and deem making her character come off sexual/sensual is the way she talks and some of her comments that can come off as flirting. And if that's something that bothers you then that's okay, that's a valid feeling. You don't have to like Peitha, or love her design, but you also don't need to try justifying it by writing off her design as "just fan service, male gaze, generic sexy demon woman"

I think one of the greater underlying issues that these takes came from is the way some people seem to think that when they voice their want for more masculine or monsters looking female characters, they must also in the same breath condemn the female characters that don't fit that want. Maybe its bcs I'm a dyke and in the lesbian community, but we can bring up and apprentice the validity of masc presenting women without taring down femme presenting woman. The whole point is that both are equal in the way of being a woman one is not inherently superior to the other.

With that said I want it to be clear I hold no resentment or grudges against the people who participated those conversations. Neither do I look down on them. I simply wish for people to really think on: Why they see Peitha's feminine features as inherently sexual and negative.

That is all, back to your regularly scheduled bull shittery ✌️👋

[iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin]

lesson (not) learned

part two: lesson (still not) learned wc: 1.5k reader: afab (maybe also only femme but i don’t think so? idk lemme know if you think it should be labeled femme) warnings: minors dni explicit smut!!!!!, established poly!relationship, oral m!receiving, fingering, learned this word today: pussyjob, hard/softdom!hanbin, switch!hao, sub(i guess mostly)!reader, hanbin and hao are not that nice but they love you (hanbin loves you more tho lol), addressing hanbin as "sir" towards the end, hanbin calls them puppies one time, mxm but very light, i guess light angst but a good ending, basically you and hao are always competing to be hanbin's favorite lol summary: hanbin punishes a bickering poly!reader and hao for fucking without his permission; they do not learn their lesson this started out as something else and then became this. oops. gonna have to write that original idea too eventually. enjoy :)

🚨MINORS DNI 18+ EXPLICIT SMUT BELOW🚨

“what was that, baby?” hao asks, hand tangled in your hair as he grips it tightly. somehow his tone remains patronizing despite the fact you’ve been edging him for at least half an hour. “can’t talk with a big cock in your mouth?”

you try to answer again, but it’s useless; a frustrated moan comes out of you instead and, for a moment, the curtain falls on hao’s persona he’s been maintaining to impress his other lover. you can see it in his eyes how the vibration on his cock affects him; how he desperately wants to give in to you. he always wants to cave a few minutes in.

but...

he blinks quickly; tightening his grip on your hair and yanking a bit harsher. “come on. he’s... he’s gonna get mad at us again if we don’t finish our punishment.”

a pointed exhale from the corner draws your attention to the third presence in the room. “aw, hao hyung, don’t be silly now. why would i get mad at you? hmm?”

the words are kind on paper-- playful even. but you would never know by the way hanbin says them. a viper’s tongue.

stupidly, you make eye contact with him. he’s lounging back in a leather armchair, a hand over his mouth and one eyebrow cocked in what seems to be amusement. a small beam of light illuminates a diagonal strip of his face from the corner of his left eye to his jaw bone. he looks otherworldly like this and the heavenly visual causes you to lose your grip on hao’s cock in your mouth.

it lolls out of you with a pitiful pop.

“baby,” hao pleads annoyedly, taking your face in his hands to try to get your attention but your fixation on hanbin’s beauty is just too strong. “baby, we need to keep going or he’s--.”

by the time you’ve actually comprehended hao’s words, a cruel laugh is already escaping hanbin’s throat from the corner of the room. “how did i manage to find the two stupidest, horniest people on the planet?”

“fuck,” hao whispers angrily, shaking your face that’s still in his hands. “this is all your fault! you always do this!”

“this is not my fault! are you kidding me!?” you defend, childishly folding your arms across your chest. “you’re the one who couldn’t keep your hands off me earlier.”

“you literally grabbed my fingers and stuck them in your pussy,” hao counters, glaring at you. “you always want him to think you’re his perfect little angel, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. you’re just a spoiled fucking brat who needs--.”

your lips are on hao’s before he can finish his assassination of your character. unfortunately you just can’t help yourself when he talks to you like that. but hao is no lesson in self control either, seeing as he’s moaning into your mouth within seconds; pushing your back down onto the bed beneath him. in between your thighs, the head of his cock starts to tease your entrance.

“fuck,” hao whines needily, rutting against you and, as he does, treading dangerously close to forbidden territory for the second time today. the desperation in hao’s voice only turns you on more, though and, clouded with lust, you also forget about the events that happened just hours ago.

“pleasepleaseplease, need you,” you beg incomprehensibly, the head of hao’s cock pressing into your clit. “fuck hao, please, just need you inside me now.”

“oh my god,” hao says as if he’s gonna lose his mind if he can’t put his cock in you in the next five seconds. “fuck, i can’t--... we can’t, baby. we’re not supposed to...”

though hao is certainly attempting to convince himself not to finally push himself inside your dripping hole, he’s failing miserably. you feel him start to rut progressively deeper, his resolve slowly turning to moans and whimpers until--

“you two never fucking learn your lesson, do you?”

your whole body freezes as hanbin yanks hao up by his ear to a kneeling position. hao seethes at the pain and hanbin whispers something in his ear that shuts him up without discourse. the sinking feeling in your gut reaches its height when hanbin’s attention turns to you.

“binnie, please,” you start to plead as hanbin just smiles coolly back at you. “hao started it! i would never break the rules, binnie-- i promise.”

hao opens his mouth to argue, but a quick glare from hanbin settles him down. the younger man lets go of hao’s ear; stepping closer to you. a gentle hand finds your jaw, pulling you up to meet him in a kiss. it’s sultry and warm and once again has you squeezing your thighs together for relief.

“cute,” hanbin coos, his left hand reaching to cup your heat. you can’t help but grind against his fingers as hanbin fawns over you. you know it’s a trap. but you just can’t help yourself.

neither can hao, whose hand has already begun stroking his cock again.

“hao hyung started this-- is that right, angel?” hanbin asks, pouting at you as he rubs his thumb across your cheek sweetly. and then the other shoe drops. “hao hyung is the one who got my angel this wet?”

you shake your head frantically. “no! no, binnie--.”

he tilts his head to the side-- a suggestion (or threat) that you better start using his preferred title effective immediately.

“i’m sorry, sir, i just--.”

“i was five fucking feet away from you-- you think you can lie to me?” hanbin’s tone surprisingly isn’t so much angry as it is... disappointed. your eyes meet hao’s and you know he’s thinking the same thing:

this is not good.

“bin-ah,” hao says softly, cautiously reaching out a hand to touch hanbin’s shoulder. “binnie, are you really upset?”

hanbin sighs melodramatically, shrugging off hao’s touch and turning away from the bed. “you both want each other so bad. it doesn’t really seem like you need me anymore.”

“what!?” you exclaim, scrambling to sit up and wrap your arms around his neck from behind. “of course we need you, hanbinnie! we love you. and i love you way more than hao loves you.”

“you’re such a little...” hao starts, grabbing your nipple between his fingers and pinching hard. you squeal and he sticks his tongue out at you as he takes hanbin’s hand in his own. “we’re trying to reassure hanbinnie and you still find a way to make it all about you? so typical. and for your information, he likes me more than you.”

“he does not! he said--... he said...” your words trail off as you suddenly feel hanbin pressing kisses up your arm where it hangs across his chest. “hanbinnie, we’re sorry. we need you. clearly we need you. we’d kill each other without you.”

“so sorry, binnie,” hao mumbles into hanbin’s shoulder. “we just can’t help ourselves sometimes.”

“we--... we need to be punished again, binnie,” you say, kissing his neck sweetly.

“please, binnie?” hao echoes hopefully. “we’ll be good this time!”

the sound of hanbin chuckling is not what either of you are expecting to hear, but when he turns around with a glint of sadistic pleasure in his eyes, an exhilarating chill runs down your spine. all of this-- from the moment hanbin had left you alone with hao this afternoon while he went to get groceries up to now-- had been one giant trap. 

you and hao were really in for it now.

“you’re both a little too soft for your own good, don’t you think?” hanbin muses with a smirk. “we all know you desperately need me.”

you look down at your lap in shame and you know that hao is doing the same.

“but i need you too,” he adds, a hand running up one of yours and hao’s thighs. “my two favorite puppies. so perfect. just need some more training is all.”

“yes, sir,” you and hao respond together happily.

just as hanbin’s left hand wraps around the base of hao’s cock and the fingers of his right hand find your entrance, his phone starts to ring in his back pocket. “fuck,” he curses, removing his fingers from you and reaching for his phone. you start to whine, but a sharp look keeps you quiet. 

“i have to take this,” hanbin sighs, walking towards the door. “when i come back, i better find you both on your stomachs for me. understand?”

“yes, sir,” the two of you respond from the bed again.

as the door shuts behind hanbin, you look at hao. his eyes are narrowed in anger and the head of his cock is leaking pathetically. you stare at each other for a long moment before hao quickly gives up and begins climbing back between your legs.

hanbin knows exactly what he’s going to walk back into. and though he knows he’s going to have to make you both pay for it...

he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[azulock]

shidou and aiku NSFW headcanons??

Oh boy, my two faves, thank you for this ask, babe <3

Ryusei Shidou NSFW Headcanons

⟳ Switch king, big time kinky, not even afraid of showing it. He knows what he wants and he can be pretty straight forward about it. Will be noisy about asking you what you like and want from him too. Big into communication, aggressive communication maybe, but still.

⟳ He really is whatever on the whole dom or sub thing. By his choice he will be changing up pretty constantly, but he can adapt to your rhythm. Shidou is pretty flexible on what role he is playing and how he is doing it. Though, be it dom or sub, he will be teasing you, he can never stop running that fucking mouth.

⟳ Tits man, and it doesn't matter if it's muscular manly tits or soft femme tits, just tits, this man loves sucking on them. Wanna see him crazy? Wear something with a low neckline, show some cleavage and he'll be running up walls. Might just have a lactation kink.

⟳ Loves getting his hair pulled, likes pulling on yours too but really into getting his hair pulled. That's an easy way to get him hard pretty much straight away, just tug on his hair. But watch out: he moans loudly when you do that, so maybe don't do it in public.

⟳ Pretty loud in general, what to expect from a guy who starts his day screaming naked from the balcony? If he is subbing you can try to put a gag on him, or wrap something around his mouth, but otherwise, good luck.

⟳ Likes biting, and leaving hickeys all over you, and he likes receiving both of these as well. You'll be left with a ton of bite marks, but if you ask him not to mark certain spots he will respect.

⟳ Will cross dress for you if you want him to. Tho if you think he will do it as a sub you are very wrong. You can get him into a maid dress but he is going to hammer you to the bed with force while dressed as a maid. The frilly little dress won't stop him from drilling into you brutally until you are a crying mess. He likes the mixed signals this gives, it's fun.

⟳ Is a "try anything once" type of guy, and honestly he can do a lot, though his limits are hard limits, he knows very well what he doesn't like. But here is a incomplete list of things he like: free use, bondage, sensory play, overstimulation, edging, ruined orgasm, cumplay, body writing, primal, anal play, dacryphilia, somnophilia, intox, role play, the occasional threesome, etc.

⟳ Walks around naked in the house. Not even sexually, tho he is going to fuck you into every piece of furniture he owns, but he just likes being naked. So, if you have a problem with casual nudism, you'd better lose it. Like, for a guy who can be so sexual he also has a very "a body is just a body" approach to being naked. He likes taking showers and baths together too, doesn't even need to fuck just likes to wash you and for you to wash him, especially his hair.

⟳ He is clean shaven, which just makes it even more obvious that this motherfucker is hung. Has got fucking undoubtably great length, not too thick but thick enough to feel good and look proportional. Not really veiny, keeps more or less the same thickness all over the shaft, more of a shower than a grower too, so he is always stuck with a bit of a bulge. Also I like to imagine he has a Jacob's ladder.

Oliver Aiku NSFW Headcanons

⟳ Slut, we know he got around, so he has enough experience to know what he is doing. Which is worse cause he is hot and a good fuck, simply unfair. You are guaranteed satisfaction and a good fucking time, but not much more than that.

⟳ A dom, and mostly a pleasure dom. Doesn't mean he is gonna be all nice and soft, but even when he is mean he is driving you insane with pleasure. He can be a bit of a tease but you're guaranteed a lot of praising, and all of it spoken in this smooth and deep voice.

⟳ Very vocal, not loud but vocal. Lots of grunting, groaning, growling, moaning and even some whimpering. He is a talker too, be it muttering curses under his breath or saying something nasty to you. Worst part is that the bastard knows he has a sexy voice and will use it in his favor.

⟳ An ass man, a lover of tiny shorts, tight pants, mini skirts and anything else that can put a nice ass on display. He is a very touch oriented person so expect groping, slapping, and for Oliver to just generally have a hand on your ass on any way. Loves hitting it from behind cause that gives him a nice view, loves seeing an ass jiggling as it bounces on his cock.

⟳ Loves getting scratch marks on his back, he takes them as positive reviews, so you can go crazy on that. You'll end up with some finger shaped bruises tho, cause he loves some manhandling and his hands are pretty strong, so he might bruise you without even noticing.

⟳ Thigh riding, thigh riding for days. He has got massive fucking thighs that are pretty much all muscle and he loves to have someone riding them. Will manhandle you through that if he needs to, holding onto your hips dragging you over his thigh until he is satisfied.

⟳ Contrary to fuckboy expectations, not the type of guy to be in a rush. Likes to take his time, start of slow, kinda edging both himself and you with that. Not tat going slow makes him go easy, it's slow and hard, slamming all the way in with force, but not speeding up until he feels like it. Might have you begging him to go faster, his reaction will depend on his mood, he might keep it slow to tease you or give into your pleas.

⟳ Loves oral, both giving and receiving, though he knows receiving can be a bit hard cause of how thick his cock is. But he really loves giving, not afraid to get down and dirty, thing that if he doesn't end up with half of his face sloppy he didn't do a good job. And good thing he is like that too cause once again his dick is thick, so it's important he can do a good prep.

⟳ Has got a big free use kink, he has a pretty high sex drive, which leaves him horny all the time so its useful too. Loves the freedom of being able to just come up behind you and bend you over, already grinding his hips into yours or getting down on his knees to give you some head. Or maybe even coming up to you when you are sat down on the couch, his pants with a big and clear bulge that he is almost rubbing into your face the minute he finds you.

⟳ Somno, it comes with the free use really. Oliver is a morning person, and sometimes he doesn't want to disturb your sleep when he wakes up hard but he still wants to fuck you. So why not just let him fuck you in your sleep? He promises to be nice about it too, always has a bottle of lube on his bedside table so he is gonna make sure he is covered in it to slide in nice and easy. Or even if he doesn't manage to get in, he'd be happy to just fuck himself with your thighs until he cums between them. He likes the idea of coming inside you, or on you, while you sleep, leaving a surprise for when you wake up.

⟳ He keeps himself trimmed rather than clean shaven cause he likes the visual of the happy trail, it leads very nicely into that big ass cock he has. He is in the longer side of the spectrum, but not the longest of the bunch, tho he more than makes up for it in girth. Sure he is long but the standout feature is just how thick he is, that thing is gonna give you a stretch that you'll feel the next day (and maybe the day after). Is thicker in the middle, and the head is small, which makes him look even bigger, pretty damn veiny too.

now a word from our sponsors: @wishiknewwhatiwasdoingwithmylife

[intersexcat-tboy]

Call me Whiskers or whatever idrc. This blog focuses on raising awareness, sharing personal experiences, and connecting with others in the intersex and ATM theory community. I love doing in depth research onto topics, esp writing intersex educational essays. I tend to be very verbose as I'm hyperlexic but I'm also dyslexic and dyscalculic so it's a struggle.

Most everything goes onto queue, tho sometimes some things skip the wait.

I use hy/hym, e/ey, kit/fae and oneself pronouns

Schrodigender's catboy. Call me a catboy or don't call me a boy at all. [PT: Call me a catboy or don't call me a boy at all]. I use it as an omninoun (link). I may occasionally use masc language for myself but I do not actually identify with manhood. I'm not a man or a woman. Prefer not to be gendered or sexed at all by others. Neutroix tfemneumasc. Hard femme.

DNI/beware of dog:

Basic DNI of any type of bigoted -phobe or -ist (racist, ableist, homophobe, transphobes [inclu exclus/transmeds and transmisogynists], inter+exorsexist (inclu transX/transID ["transitioning to intersex/black/harmful/etc"] etc), if you use "misandrodorks" / "theyfab", or otherwise DON'T believe there's any type of oppression specifically faced by (or disproportionately affects) transmascs, or if you are a self ID'd baeddel, radfem, febfem, rad/LSD/basedqueer. As well as if you follow/reblog heavily from Plaidos (a known transphobe) or strawberry-crocodile (transphobic intersexist strawman factory). Furthermore, do not interact if you a supporter the Israel government and their actions or believe rape jokes are funny

Well what about [XYZ]?

Individuals with BIID where their dysphoria is centered around the physical body rather than "not being disabled" are perfectly fine and welcomed here. I do not mind those with alters who understand that their body does not hold the responsibilities of enduring oppressions their marginalized alter would face, and thus will not be fully capable of understanding oppression regarding that minority, who do not describe their discomfort as being "transrace", and uplift voices of the minorities rather than speaking over ("I have a black/transmasc alter so I get to decide what's bigoted" 👎)

More about me:

I am not sure if I have been subjected to the violence of IGM, but I was mistransitioned via hormones, and have physical trauma from the application and assault. I am now re-entransitioning. I grew up as a trans girl and now I'm undoing some of it. I'm definitely not TME, but don't consider myself TMA as binaries (especially ones based on birth assignment "privilege") do not reflect my intersex experience, nor is bigotry based solely on internal identity, but rather influenced by how you are perceived.

I'm really weird abt compliments and tend to get overwhelmed. If it's describing me 👎 Beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, stunning. It's not a compliment to me. If it's describing my things (writing, outfit) then it's fine ig but pretty thin ice. 👍 Dashing, handsome, striking are preferred if you feel so inclined.

I'm autistic, part of a small system, and am disabled with CAH-X. I use mobility aids daily and struggle to get anywhere without them. Cripplepunk and radinclu

Some posts:

Examining Sax's .018% claim (link)

Tags I'll use often:

#purrspectives for posts I've written or heavily added to. May occasionally contain others posts if I completely agree w them and have no better way to convey

#actually intersex / #actually autistic

#intersex issues / #transmasc issues / #trans issues

#intercommunity discourse / #trans discourse

#trans infighting / #queer infighting

#queer solidarity / #trans solidarity

#intersex history / #transmasc history / #trans history / #queer history

#ableism / #exorsexism / #intersexism / #trans intersexism for posts regarding intersexism from perisex trans people

#intersex theory / #trans theory

#intersex erasure / #transmasc erasure

#antitransmasculinity / #anti transmasculinity / #transandrophobia / #transandromisia

#disability justice

#trans intersex / #transintersex

#system stuff

#trans tag / #trans / #trans positivity

#autistic tag

[butmakeitgayblog]

How would you have wanted to see the season 3 bedroom scene go down if Clarke didn't hold back her obvious thirst for femme disaster Lexa in her nightgown

Have them fuck nasty 😤

Nah I'm just kidding

For real though, I actually took today to think about that because I think if you asked everyone in the fandom, you'd probably get a big variety of answers. There was just so much going on at that time and so many raw, unsettled emotions and resentments on Clarke's part. Realistically, I can absolutely see why she turned Lexa away (not the how tho, cuz damn).

But if I had to rewrite it through my own rose colored glasses, I would've liked it if Clarke had asked Lexa to stay and talk. Not even about the mountain or their people or anything that wandered too closely to those still healing wounds between them. More like asking Lexa about her childhood. What it was like growing up on the ground. Maybe about the different clans or what Lexa had dreamed about becoming before she was called to be commander. And I would've liked to have Clarke tell Lexa about the wonders of space. Not many though - that subject still holds too many nightmares. I would've liked to see them get to know each other beyond the pictures they have of each other as leaders and what they have to be as those people, and instead started learning more of the pieces of themselves that they'd learned to lock away from everyone else.

I would've liked to see Clarke grow sleepy to the sound of Lexa's soothing voice. Yawning while deliberately denying that she's yawning, even as she shakes it off and smacks her lips from it. And then of course, that fond little smile that Lexa always gets around Clarke, the one that barely kissed the sides of her lips but shines so brightly in her eyes. Usually in response to the skai girl's stubbornness, but that's neither here nor there. I would've liked to see Lexa offering to leave because even though the night had taken a very strange and unexpected turn, it was still lovely, and wonderful, and she likes to think of herself as chivalrous when circumstances allow, and regardless of what did or didn't happen, oh, you could see just how happy her little Heda heart was to have had that time together.

Without the usual looming thundercloud of Clarke's animosity.

I would've loved to see her trying to urge Clarke to go to bed and rest, only for Clarke to ask her to stay a little longer. To join her on the bed - sensibly, only because the bed was more comfortable than the old spindly chairs of her guest suite - and keep talking about all the good things on earth. Because she usually can't sleep anyway and because... that was the first night since she'd walked away from Camp Jaha that the demons of her past have been quiet.

I would've liked to see Lexa's internal battle of her emotions play out in nothing more than a series of blinks. A stuttered breath. The catch in her chest as she unfolds and refolds her hands in her lap. All the tiny cracks in her armor that you have to be looking for just to see, but they're the ones that give her away every time.

Because even tho she'd hoped— Even tho she'd thought, maybe Clarke's relief at her winning and staying alive might mean something for them... Even tho she'd come here with every intention to open herself up to whatever Clarke was willing to give to her, to connect with her... she hadn't at all anticipated the night to go quite like this. So intimate and bare, but not at all in the way she'd yearned for when she'd knocked on Clarke's door, blood still hot from the battle and the look Clarke gave her across the arena.

This was sweeter than she'd anticipated, somehow deeper, and her hunger and love for this woman is all the more terrifying for it.

But Lexa does stay, because she really is quite terrible at denying Clarke anything within her power at that point. Not that she wants to anyway. Not now that Clarke looks at her from under her furs with soft questioning eyes, instead of darkened pools filled with betrayed disgust.

I would've liked to see Lexa settle down on the bed, above the furs with her back sloped against the iron headboard that is terribly uncomfortable against her skin, but she'll bear it. And as she picks up the thread of what she'd been talking more to settle her own nerves than because she actually knows what she's saying. She's just babbling, which entirely unbecoming on The Commander but what else she can do when she's this close to this woman?

And ok fine, she's not a saint.

She does like the feel of Clarke's eyes on her. She likes the thrill that rushes through her at her own boldness careless ease when she adjusts her legs, lifts her knee just for comfort and, oops, lets the loose hang of her nightgown slip down to pool at her hip. It's an~accident~ she doesn't bother to fix, just like when the thin strap falls down off her shoulder as well. She's just comfortable in Clarke's space so it's totally, totally fine.

It wouldn't escape her (or us, the faithful viewers) that Clarke doesn't look away.

And I would've liked to see her watch as Clarke grew sleepier. Watched her very obviously struggle to stay awake by asking Lexa the most mundane questions could think of through her half-slurred haze as Clarke adjusts and readjusts and every time she finds herself that much closer. Until eventually there's nothing for it, she's just pressed against Lexa's side, and it's nothing to wrap an arm around Lexa's waist and push close. Lean her head on Lexa's shoulder and breathe in the scent of whatever soaps Lexa used in her post-battle bath (you hear that, Clarke. S o a p). And I would've liked the scene to end on Clarke drifting off to Lexa's comfort. To the feel of Lexa matching her every breath. To the gentle weight of Lexa pressing a kiss she'll insist in the morning that she was too sleepy to remember to the crown of her head.

That's how I would've liked to see it go.

[msallurea]

Funny astrology moment:

As we know virgo is a known as a stereotypical "obsessive" sign.

Scorpio is also known as an obsessive sign

Scorpio is ruled by pluto/Mars while virgo is ruled by mercury

For a very long time I think even still now I was always very obsessed with the thought of being the most beautiful, popular, fame, etc I was literally OBSESSED with just being perfect..

Now mind u I have mars libra 1° in 12th house. Now subconsciously I absolutely am obsessed with all things beautiful and sensual BUT when I seen me I feel like the exact opposite and feel entirely more masculine (even tho that isn't what I wanna go for at all)

I have a Scorpio ascendant 19° which is also ruled by libra and I have always been attracted to that "cute and sexy" look I'm not entirely cute but not entirely sexy I'm a mix of both(or at least that's what I want)

I also find myself being both extremely dominating and extremely submissive depending on who I'm around. If the person is more softer I find myself more dominating and vice versa

I also kinda feel like this can apply to my moon as well. I have an Aries moon in 28° which is cancer sign. I find myself when in super stressful situations I cry when I'm upset or when I can no longer remain passive. While my body is in a state of being super emotional on the inside I'm thinking of like a gazillion different ways to beat somebody up and also find self imagining very vivid violent visuals when upset or stressed.

Side note: I am in LOVE with a soft femme look moon is also related to beauty. My moon is in 6th house ruled by virgo I love makeup looks that are soft but bold and doesn't have too much going on so it's subtle. Adding on, doing makeup or self care actually is VERY therapeutic for me. Things like head/scalp massages, breast massages, or just listening to a calming voice will literally reduce my stress immediately..mind u the head is ruled by Aries so if u stress prone like me I highly suggest HEAD MASSAGES. Also because my aries moon is in 6th house I find myself not really sticking to routines very often BUT if I don't have a certain routine that makes sense to me and everything is all controlling around me then I definitely get irritated and stressed out

Also music highly affects my moods. Since cancer is ruled by moon and moon are our emotions, music highly affects my emotions and can change my moods very easily. In my moon pc I have a taurus moon in 24° which is ruled by pisces. My moon in my moon persona chart falls on 5th house, my 5th house in natal is ruled by pisces, taurus in my natal falls in my 7th house..girl when I tell yall I am one the most hopeless of hopeless romantics out there 😭😭😭. And while I don't enjoy admitting it or at least that's not how it'll appear first hand, when I'm genuinely in love, people have told me I have a "fairytale" vibe to me and down to earth energy. Also when I'm in love or love themes in general actually make me GLOW literally and I find myself in the softest state ever (which is what I actually desire to exude) when in love, it awakens my suppress themes of sensuality, helps balance my aggression and so much more.

Side note: I am highly attracted to people who happen to have taurus, pisces and Scorpio like energy. Also if someone radiates that popular energy like a leo does I find myself extremely attracted to them as well..which is ironic because my midheaven is in leo

Also going back a little to my Mars libra 1°, which I think can also determine the men you're attracted to, I find myself extremely attracted to men who are gentlemen but give off "don't fucking play with me" energy. Like they the type of men who are like sweet to me but mean to everyone else type of energy. Men who cam give me princess treatment but still radiate king like energy towards me is like my kryptonite I be WEAKKKK also since it's in 12th house I find myself being attracted to men who are something like a fairytale but unfourtanetly I also tend to attract men who use my naive mind to manipulate me in other words "don't practice what they preach" they may say one thing but there actions be the complete OPPOSITE. Or I attract people who may seem sweet and nice but are actually aggressive and/or abusive asl. Other than that I find myself being attracted to men who are masculine but not excessively aggressive as if they have some feminine energy to them (like they're gentle, communicative, grounded, etc)

Now let's go back to my pluto for a moment, my pluto trines my moon (if it isn't obvious already I have a grand fire trine), I find that my emotions and how I feel about myself are directly link to how I may feel about myself. So does the environment I'm in it affects how I feel about my self worth. Moon rules over home, my pluto is in 2nd house and 2nd house has themes of self worth, security, etc. Growing up my self worth was based off materialism (and kinda still is) also my self worth and self esteem was linked to many and determined through lots of emotional and intense situations I went through in life. For example, my dad had left when I was young I also caught him cheating with the woman my mom didn't know of at the time but he told me to keep it a secret. Pluto is a planet of secrecy, I find I'm extremely good at keeping secrets..but maybe that's because of my Scorpio rising(also would like to mention that my Scorpio 1st house also has jupiter Scorpio 14° in 1st house and beauty and stability was a very reoccurring thing for me that i needed to figure out) anyway back to pluto, if I look at my pluto pc I have pluto in 4th house..my pluto pc also has a 4th house stellium in Sagittarius. My home has definitely determined a lot of how I may see myself, whether or not I'm beautiful, etc unfourtanetly this turned into a negative way. My pluto also squares my sun, mercury and Mars. When expressing myself I tend to seem very aggressive my voice is also deeper than most females and thats something i fibd myself insecure about, for my sun I also appear as if I'm more dominating or intimidating then what I'd like or at least that's how people think of me at first, my ego I'm ngl is a little fragile and I can get offended kinda easily when in low self esteem, as for sexual expression it's suppressed n I've had some traumatic sexual experiences, my sexual expression and sex appeal has also determined how I see myself and my self worth. Actually since I spoke a little on family in my natal I have Aquarius over my 4th house and my chiron and neptune sit there. Many of my inner child would have stem from family and lack of emotional connection/empathy. So many times I find myself fantasizing about being with a family that is much nicer and more emotionally available. I also tended to assume that male figures or family members in my life who weren't good people would end up staying in my life but they ended up leaving without giving an explanation thinking they would come back hut didn't left lots of foggyness around Honesty and promises. Also..Neptune rules over drugs, my main family members I live with all at some point have used drugs such as smoking and drinking and these drugs they cover it by saying it "helps with there mental health"....but I am easily influence by things that could potentially help my mental health or stabilize it even if it's bad..drugs being one of the many occurring things within my home, they are something I should highly stay away from since addictiction is probably likely possible to trigger me..did I mention my neptune is in retrograde LMAO and so is my chiron and mental health and family has been something I've had to work with in therapy for a very long time because my family and bonds are very impacting on me more than anything else.

Side note: I always find myself either being attracted to or want to embody the dark feminine energy and light feminine energy at the same time I literally cannot be one without feeling like I wanna exude the other

Back to my virgo side. I have virgo stellium in 11th house as I've mentioned before, I find that I talk much more online then I would in person. My mercury is in virgo 26° which is ruled by taurus, many people say that when I speak I sound very humble and down to earth. Also between all of my friends many of them admit that I tend to have this "good girl" or "shy girl" appearance and that I'm quite humble even if I do get a little loud every now and then (VIRGO ENERGYY) many people who I have become close to also mention that I appear as a "mom friend" or that friend that's always making sure everyone is in line and ok. Something I find that happens constantly is that I'm putting my friends in check like a mother would LMAO (I think this relates to my aries moon tho, I'm loving but tough) I also have a TERRIBLE habit of being judgemental and nitpicking and also extremely perfectionist especially when it comes to who I'm around and my social circle. Mind you my south node is in virgo 11th house..my north node is in pisces along with my Uranus in Pisces retrograde in 5th house. While I do criticize a lot I find myself behind close doors wanting to not do any of those things. I find myself wanting to make my own little path instead of crawling or being dragged into someone else's. While I do want to be accepted by everyone else deep down I definitely want to be able to make my own mark or be like one of those unforgettable it girls such as wonyoung where I literally am my own trend instead of having to ask for spotlight I'd have my own. Me being empathetic and sweet would actually be the thing that sets this off.

Side note: 11th house rules over manifestation and so does 12th house. My virgo being over 11th house I actually LOVE affirming..bow ofc not all the time but affirming and writing have made the most sense to me in manifestation. In 12th house I have mars, while I do have my visuals of violence and aggressiveness when it all comes down to it I definitely feel I embody that one Marilyn Monroe line where she said something like "I dreamt of myself being so beautiful" cuz I LITERALLY have had dreams of me being undyingly beautiful (haha libra 12th house energy libra rules over beauty) also since my Mars is in 1° I have also seen myself being somewhat of like a trendsetter because of my beauty or being famous from my beauty. Also mars is fast paced. While I am still working on it when I really buckle down n actually apply I tend to manifest pretty fast but on another side note I also tend to be pretty forgetful especially if my mind has been stressed from too much aggression or when there's too much on my mind I quite literally forget what I did 2 hours ago. Also north node in pisces bro literally everything I ever wanted tho it hasn't passed yet I have literally SEEN the life I wanna live, from my love life, to fame, etc plus it's in 5th house and 5th house rules entertainment. And recently I have also seen me one day having children..mind you for a very long time I was against it but for some reason this year lately I've been slowly accepting maybe wanting one baby. I'd like to add that my virgo sun is in 17° my neptune is also in 17° and neptune rules over dreams, the moment I turned 17 I had the most vivid dream of my dream self even tho it was for like 5 minutes I literally cannot explain it, now in whole sign I have it in 11th house and I literally seen myself being so mf popular for my beauty and I was GLOWING (leo having themes of glowing like the sun) now my Uranus being in pisces 12° in 5th house manifestation is highly possible for me, Uranus rules over originality. At around 11-12 years old is when I found manifestation and it was around that same time I had my first vivid visualization of my dream self n that is when I decided to start manifesting. I literally saw my dream self but she was like no one I've ever seen before. My north node and mc are in Aries degree (25°) and Aries is a pioneer, when I dreamt this I radiated this leader like energy pr main character energy

Anyways that's all I got for now sorry this is a little long tell me what u guys think or if any of u have any observations with my placements of your own

[ravenlexis]

2.3 spoiler alert!

if you haven't done the story mission and don't wanna be spoiled, scroll away!

okay, i'm gonna start off with what i like about this update:

the relationship between stellaron hunters! it's a small glimpse of their dynamics, but what little we got is cute.

topaz pov came as a surprise and the tension between her and jade? whew...

speaking of, jade is the femme fatale fr fr. the adam and eve theme, snake imageries, i honestly look forward to see her combat gameplay.

siobhan, enough said.

seeing how unhinged the trailblazer is [i chose caelus, so he/him pronouns going forward] from outsiders' perspective is honestly hilarious.

firefly apologising for lying about her identity is def welcome, tho so very late into the story.

the groupchat during sparkle's scavenger hunt! that was a wild group of ppl to put into interaction together.

paying respects to the deceased nameless trio, micah, and gallagher. that made me soft, especially with how pompom reacted to it.

acheron T^T

the scene with sunday at the end... penacony's not over yet?

now my complaints:

this update feels lacking, especially after the crazy roller coaster ride we got from 2.0 to 2.2.

aventurine's convo with boothill was omitted and i am genuinely upset about this. i wanna know how they come to an agreement dang it!

no reunion between ratio and aventurine, which is not just purely from a shipper standpoint. i think it's definitely a logical choice to have aventurine abstain from boarding along topaz, ratio, and jade, but seeing how ratio is exasperated yet willing to stay [well, for maybe a minute] in a room with boothill despite never knowing him makes me think that maybe ratio found them in the room together plotting the downfall of oswaldo and man, that mental image is funny to me.

argenti's voice is missing! again! why is his EN voice not there? this is the second time this happened and it's quite jarring bcs he's the only one with no voice throughout the whole thing.

firefly is so pessimistic about the bomb incident that i suspected she was sparkle for a moment. every single thing that she said was building panic without any real solution until the very end where she proposed to take care of the bomb herself. also, she said to hurry and was panicking but she sure took a while to deliver a monologue. [not an offense to the VA, mind you, this just feels like a writing/pacing issue?]

caelus panicking after being thrown off the ship, lmao. he came into penacony like a shooting star and that's the only thing on my mind as he fell. if i had chosen stelle, that moment with firefly would be brushed off as platonic by the homophobes, which is not cool. trailblazer/firefly ship is literally dependent on who you chose as your mc. [not that i ship them with firefly, but i've seen ppl saying cae/firefly canon while denying stelle/firefly, which is like... no? the only difference is the gender of the mc, their scenes with firefly are literally the same.]

there are still so many loose ends, tho maybe it's bcs we are only given closure on what we should be aware of as the trailblazer. but after the whole thing with aventurine's background, Ena's dream, the galaxy rangers, robin and sunday, boothill confronting aventurine especially [bcs there's topaz there but he chose to find aventurine?]

after all of that and we got nothing else? hopefully everything will be revealed and resolved in the near future.

[kitkat-the-muffin]

OH BOY I need some AIR after playing Cloutchase Vol 2!!!!

Time for the customary screenshot dump! Spoilers under the cut!

But first, some spoiler-free teases to further encourage you to play the game yourself first!

Aight here we go

Hrrrrrrrrrrrrgh I started with Amino and then had to wash it down with Discord cause oof the cringe flashbacks to middle school

They really went all out on the accuracy didn't they. It just like me fr (derogatory) (inaccurate)

We need to talk about this split second of dialogue btw- I caught it just in time oh my god WHAT- they should kiss I think

I played this with a friend actually and she gave Kik a Beetlejuice voice and it was amazing. My friend did all the voices actually and I did the narration and she was great and accurate it was a real fun experience. I've never even heard of Kik before this but she HAD and knew what to do XD

THE FREAKIN WARRIOR CATS ROLEPLAY. I know EXACTLY how it feels to be dragged into a WCRP when you've never read the books or know anything about the series, more middle school trauma for you there

Amino's route was positively perfect I have no notes I am going insane I am going feral I need therapy I need a monkey onesie-

Moving on, Muffy was in Discord's route! That was so neat to see! Also the crypto ending was so funny look at this:

We also need to talk about Twitter X. Just look at him

Amazing. Perfection. He is disgusted with us, as he should be

Ok in regards to actual Discord, I freakin love him. Again, I was playing this game with a friend, and she said his trans experience was so relatable to her. Then I spoke with another friend and he said the same thing. We all agree he's very gender looking, even tho two of us are femme XD

When we finished the Good Ending my friend said that Discord's feminine persona looked a lot more fake than initially thought now that we knew the truth, and that's honestly great character building. The maze was such an interesting way to get to know Discord better too, even if all the mythology reference were askew lol

I think both versions of Discord are incredibly cute and adorable but Masc Discord is my favorite cause he just looks so much more comfortable in his own skin if you know what I mean? Or maybe I'm just projecting idk

I've actually hit 12 photos already so idk why Tumblr wont stop me from adding more. Maybe it's different on desktop than mobile idk

Anyway I loved both routes and I wish I could gush about them more but I have a certain social experiment session in an hour (shoutout to the two people who actually read through my experiment tag) so I'll just leave it here

But gosh I loved these two they were amazing I want to play them again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

LAST NOTE BUT THERE ARE ACTUALLY A PAIR OF CREEPY TWINS AT THE END OF THE SHINING HALLWAY BTW

Calling it now it's Thesaurus.com and Dictionary.com (two of MY ocs that I haven't even DESIGNED yet ffffffffffff now that Webtoon's done I guess that's my next project)

[im-not-a-l0ser]

The Michie Playlist

Here's the songs sent in through asks and my opinion on them. If you're following along in the playlist, these songs are further down and you may want to go to the og songs or my songs before reading the rest.

Sadly, I only got a few requests, but it's fine. I like the songs we have. But I'll still take requests, and I'll probably add to this post then.

Requested by @24-guy

Wont: I completely see why you would debate whether this is a michie song or not. I'm gonna go ahead and say yes, it is. Michie isn't a perfect relationship, it's allowed to have this as a song. There are different perceptions of Michie, and I actually think that having songs like this on the playlist is good for facing the reality of where their relationship would begin. It's definitely staying.

Requested by @milgram

A House in Nebraska: oW c'mon man, what the hell!

Sally's Song: So is this just gonna be a theme with you? Sad songs? It's staying too, but blahhh

Bug (Niigo Version): So, unfortunately, I can't find this song on ytmusic or spotify. So. It's not on the playlist.

Role of a Lifetime: It is a pattern. I'm so fucking sad rn. But to be fair, Bare in general makes me sad. That cowardice tho, very real, oWww.

Moving in Place: Oh, I can't decide if I like or really hate her voice. It's like femme McCafferty meets Penelope Scott meets a 12 year old. That's all I can focus on right now, okay, lemme try to listen to the lyrics. The substance abuse is the only thing that's like "I don't see that." I feel like Max can only get high on rare rare occasions, to avoid the risk of his father... doing bad thing because of it. Richie, I can see getting high as a stress releif thing, and I stand by the headcannon that he gets high with Zoey and Deb.

[nothinginthisworldbelongstome]

hi im rose!

just started this blog so i need to fix it up all nice and pretty but honestly idk when that might happen lol

anons and dms very welcome! i love talking and meeting new people!

just a reminder, bc sometimes people forget and treat me like im just one thing- I AM A SWITCH. that means i want to and enjoy BOTH domming and subbing, and i cant do just one all the time, it burns me out. that might be different for other people, but this is how it works for me. i need as close to 50/50 as i can get, 70/30 works too.

more about me under the cut!

i just turned 19 aug 4th! she/her lesbian

men, terfs, bigots, any shitty people, and minors fuck off i will block u

im very switchy, will dom or sub whatever u need baby 😘

im more comfortable topping, and i loveeee bringing u pleasure, but it would be nice to have someone who desired me as much as i did them, even if im not yet comfortable receiving that attention lol

ive only been in 1 relationship online and never have even kissed anyone before, but ive been on nsfw tumblr for a while

i dont consider myself super femme but im definitely not masc/butch. i like jewelry and flowery clothes tho lol. i kinda just wear things and i dont have a super distinctive style. im mostly attracted to femmes but for me attraction usually comes from the face and personality, generally not style, if anyone cares lmao

im 5'7, i have brown hair and blue-green eyes, and im plus size, if any of that matters to yall

kinks:

praise praise praise. i love telling u how good ur doing for me and also i wanna be someones good girl

pretty girls telling me what to do hehe i love that

pet namessss ugh pet names. i use them SO much so if u dont like it let me know (but it will be so hard for me to stop ngl i fucking love pet names)

also call ME pet names and ill fall in love with u its so soft and sweettt ahhhh

anything that will bring you pleasure. when u tell me that turned u on/made u wet that turns me on sooo much

mommy kinkkkkk! call me mommy or let me call u mommy pretty girl

VOICESSS FUCKING VOICESS i have a hugeeee voice kink. make all ur pretty noises for me baby u sound so good

grindinggg i love grinding. yes bounce on my leg sweet thing

light pet play. like ill call u puppy/bunny/kitten, collars are hot, but not much more than that and im not a pet. no cages or anything more hardcore than that really

pulling my hairrr yes babygirl pull my hair while i eat u out

consensual somnophilia i love the idea of knowing someone trusts u enough to let u do whatever u want to them while theyre sleeping

MARKINGSSS ugh theyre so hot. ive veryyyy possessive i want u to be MINE if im into u. so yes marks are so hot. giving AND being given

also reciprocal possessiveness??? jesus christ sign me up. im urs and ur mine and now im in love

theres probably more but this is all i can think of right now

also even tho i dont personally enjoy something or dont have it in my likes, feel free to ask! im generally very open to trying things at least once. and some of the things i dont really care for i dont mind doing a little bit if its something my partner wanted! communication is key <3

LIMITS

heavy degradation/humiliation and stuff like that. i dont like being really mean it makes me feel bad. i will however tease u until ur begging me to let u cum <3

also dont be mean at all in any way to me ill cry

rapeplay/kidnapping or anything nonconsensual like that it makes me feel bad

any bodily fluids other than cum gross me out sorry

any terms like daddy/cock/dick. big turn off for me

anal/butt stuff

feet. u can do whatever u want with mine ig but i dont like urs no thanks

send asks and dms!! i crave interaction

CLOSING REMARKS

idrk what else to say here. if u read all this u get a cookie ig lol

feel free to ask ANYTHING im an open book and will *probably* answer honestly lol

k love u bye! mwah!

[crowtrobotx]

I know this is out of the blue, but thank you so much for being a real one 👍✨️

Like I have nothing against people who see Heisenberg as a gay man, they’re entitled to think that. But I draw the hard line at people who feel the need to bash others just because their views don't align, and then when confronted use the piss poor "it's just a joke" or "it's just an observation" excuses. If you're going to be a bitch at least have the balls to own up to it.

Anyway, loved your work since 2021 and wishing you all the good vibes. 🤗

Oh my goodness, thank you!!! This is such a kind message and I appreciate you so much. ❤️ Good vibes right back at you. I’m glad that my rantings have resonated with folks because sometimes I wonder if *spongebob voice* I’M the maniac. Getting dragged into this stuff really makes me feel like it sometimes, haha.

Yes! To be clear I also truly do not care what your HC’s are! I love that there are people for whom gay Heisy is their thing and I hope they are having fun and keep making their art/fic/etc! Even if I really can’t stand the popular fanon ship I’m so glad it exists for folks who enjoy it and I am not going to spend my time posting about what I don’t like/agree with when they’re not hurting me and I can spend my time on stuff I do like!

And like. I know. I KNOW a lot of these people are teenagers. And I struggle sometimes because “do not fight literal children” is a rule I try to live by lmao but I also really don’t like seeing people target and mock folks for harmless fun. (It’s on sight if a 25+ year old starts putting this shit in the tags tho. I know they’re out there.)

Still, it’s extremely weird because they always defend themselves with “it’s just a joke/it’s not that deep” or “oh my god no one is stopping you from liking x why are you so pressed 🙄 i can’t believe you’re letting my nasty opinions bother you just because i put them right where you can see them with the intent of insulting you.” 💀💀💀 Like what could possibly be the point of doing this if not to, at the very least, actively try to dissuade people you don’t like from engaging with the community? Obviously no one can stop me but if I know that there are dickbags out there who are going to vaguepost and make fun of me when I do, I don’t care how confident and thick skinned you are (and I am very,) it’s still going to sting!

People are not bothered because they’re disconnected from reality and think they’re really married to a pixel man, they’re upset because life is hard enough and you come into your hobby space to have a good time and then find lame ass idiots infesting it. I also think the whole “ohhh my god why are you so upset he’s/she’s not real!!” is a blatant attempt to discredit the hurt parties by once again insinuating that they are “crazy” which once again conveniently ignores multiple realities, chiefly that 1) most people are not upset by a simple opinion that their fave wouldn’t fuck them IRL, they are upset at the blatant meanness of the person making the accusations and 2) even if they are genuinely hurt by the thought because it’s a coping mechanism for them, why does that make it okay for you target them? What gives you the right to harass and mock people who are not bothering you? Do these people think they’re doing these folks a ‘favor’ by forcing them to contend with what they perceive to be some kind of delusion? Shut the hell up. Why do people decide it is their god given right to hold strangers on the internet accountable for psychological “problems” that they’ve completely made up.

Anyway SORRY I have a serious problem shutting the fuck up lol. I have never been good at phrasing my thoughts in a coherent way especially when I’m grumpy. I am very glad my little circle is full of awesome, open minded and levelheaded folks and not gatekeepers/weirdos (derogatory) who have decided that diversity of opinion in fandom is bad actually and that women and femmes specifically are enemy number one.

[lunarlicorice]

part whatever of my yelling into the void about a gender crisis because i can't go to therapy until august

i think a lot of things have contributed to my sudden breakthrough but part of it is like... i used to fit into that "skinny slightly femme androgynous teen" category which was fine at the time i suppose, i didn't really love it, but i had a lot of other problems and it usually prevented people from misgendering me.

but now i'm not a teen anymore and the disconnect feels even more pronounced. people either assume i'm 14 or a woman and i'm not either of those. i still get catcalled and then am met with disgust when i mention i'm a guy.

another one is definitely i did NOT have any real frame of reference for medical transition. i just knew about surgeries and "oh you can take t to make you a guy". which was really unspecific and my parents heavily monitored my internet activity all through my teens so i wasn't very inclined to look anything up.

and looking it up at first i felt like none of the effects of hrt would benefit me much, but i started to realize... i'd kinda built my routine around avoiding those things about me completely. probably without even noticing it. i never listen to myself in recordings or look at photos of me, i cover the mirrors when i'm in the bathroom, i wear baggy clothes to hide my figure. it never bothered me because i just cut those things out of my life.

and i feel like after seeing a lot of other trans people's photos and experiences online i'm actually kinda excited about it!

my only worry about it now honestly is my voice... i've been singing for 10 years (it's been a while since i've had a vocal trainer tho), and while i HATE my talking voice, i love my singing voice! i'd be pretty sad if i couldn't sing my favorite songs anymore. or even if i hate having a new voice more...

but if i hate it so much i think more vocal training would help most of it anyway. if i'll sound anything like my dad it won't be bad. maybe i could even hit the notes in my favorite rock songs then XP. the other benefits probably outweigh it anyway. i wanna be fuzzy..........

i'm visiting the doctor again tuesday to see if the waiting times for hrt are any better than the ones for surgery (or if i could get a bump up considering my past uhh... crises.). i would hope to start before my 20th birthday at the end of the year, but i think i could wait until next year if i really have to...

if someone read all this hi :] this is more information than i have ever shared about myself in like the past 3 years. we are bonded by blood now.

[fleaworld2]

Some things that's been happening with me lately

using trans friend's leftover t gel n feeling great about it

my voice has gotten a little deeper I think!!!! (whether that is bc of my bonkers smoking habits or due to the boy goo is to be left up to you)

me and girlfriend of six years broke up :(

(might genuinely be the best thing to ever happen to either of us tbh like trust me on this one fellas I am NOT bf material)

I have been thinking... about men...

downloaded Grindr n Bumble

waltzed with TWO men!!!!!!!1! (wtf type experience) (I'm very bad at waltzing stoned)

look I am so serious when I say I have zero experience with men whatsoever like I have been on that lesbian grind focused on women and eating carpet for so long I don't even know where I am or what's happening within me

like why have I lost complete interest in women

ex gf already has large and visible hickies

i'm not even mad, that's just a little crazy to me

but like, when is it my turn to be a whore

why tf is she immediately seeing this pretty poly trans girl

i ain't even mad because we met and sis is chill as hell. like I seriously vibed with her. I'm going to a party of hers later

but like damn. you not even gonna take time to process? ok.

good for her I guess, whatever keeps her going.

I keep meeting people which is awesome but I can't decide whether to introduce myself to friends/ potential fuckbuddies as Vincent or as what is now becoming my supposed "dead name". sigh. i go by Vincent on Grindr tho.

PEOPLE KEEP FLIRTING WITH ME AND IT'S FREAKING ME OUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT

but I'm socializing a lot more and its super fun and I love it :) tho it is a bit exhausting. but very much worth it bc I love people <3

like seriously. I don't know what to do about men. i hang out with girls and girl adjacent nonbinaries. maybe some questioning transmasculine folk. I'd love some masc friends, but I gravitate towards the femme crowd because it's what feels more familar to me.

Man I wish I wanted to date girls. I'd be like so good at it. I love being friends with them.

but unfortunately, men.