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namazunomegami · 11 months ago

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Atonement

Pairing: Geto Suguru x gn!reader

Synopsis: How can you cleanse yourself from the sin that has been tainting you since your attempt to escape? The answer is easy: walk on barefoot for him, suffer some misery, risk your health for him, open yourself up for him and you can earn his forgiveness.

CW: canon compliant, established relationship, toxic and complicated dynamics, religious symbolism, porn with feelings, Geto is a manipulative ass how surprising, gaslighting, m!receiving oral, fingering, non-consensual edging, good old unprotected sex + creampie

WC: 5.3k

Credits: my lovely @notveryrussian who worked so hard to get this fic proofreaded. Ngl they deserve all the praise and respect because we lost literal pages from the already edited draft because windows is crap and they had to start over again. Take one big break darl, you deserve it 💕

Song rec: mythical creature by pregnant whale pain was my main inspiration during writing but i think tumblr dot com is not ready yet to listen to an unknown hungarian avantgarde metal band while reading porn lmao. Maybe i'll drop the acoustic version later.

A/N: Here is part 1 in case if you missed it. I think you need to know what happened to completely understand the buildup and have a general idea about their relationship. This fic is probably my fave I’ve written so far, a special lil brainchild of mine. These two are living in my mind rent free with all their lore and they'll never let me go.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated 💕

Minors don't interact unless you want me to stand outside your house at 3 am with a pitchfork

It was very hard to explain to your family what happened to you. The worry which they approached you with, especially Mimiko and Nanako just stirred a weird sense of guilt in your chest. The twins even offered to help you out with chores, eagerly telling you to rest, let your body heal. Your heart shattered to pieces in that moment, weeping endlessly with fat, salty tears. Your precious darling girls, so considerate of you, so caring, their hearts filled with everlasting gratitude. And you wanted to leave them. You felt like a piece of shit of a parental figure, obviously.

Days passed as if nothing had ever happened. Even in your private moments with Geto, the issue was never brought up. He took care of your wounds, of course, but your escape attempt wasn’t a topic of conversation at all. You swept it under the rug.

Which means it was only a question of time until he was going to wield it against you.

“Leave the scabs alone.” he reprimands you softly, dragging your wrist away from them. The hot water softened your scars, making them itchy, easy to pick away at them. But Geto is so thoughtful for looking after you like some kind of crazy mother hen, right? Even sitting in the tub behind you.

He takes hold of the edge, stepping out of the tub swiftly. The water suddenly drops around you, goosebumps dot your skin from the sudden touch of the moistened air as he hides that broad, sun-kissed form of his beneath a bathrobe. You ache for a bit of peace, a bit of me-time, but since the so-called “accident”, he just couldn’t stop himself from keeping an eye on you constantly.

Your hand dances along the surface of the water, bunching the bubbles together into various shapes, like they’re islands. Like you’re a young god, decorating the plane you’ve created. But his outstretched palm appearing in your vision disturbs your creative process.

“Come, I’ll take the stitches out.”

Compared to when your wound was sutured, cutting out the thread is a relatively quick process. Especially with his competency. The tweezer lifts and holds the knot, as he severs the thread with a pair of scissors and pulls it from your flesh before he moving on to the next. It’s uncomfortable, not in a way that it hurts, but it makes your skin crawl and your bones bend. An overall disgusting feeling. But when it’s over, it does feel better. And knowing him, you wonder if it’s purposeful or not.

“Must you make it painful?” you complain, thumb pressing down on the closed, marred skin. For the wrong reasons though, but you can freely complain.

“I didn’t intend to hurt you.” his voice is soft like silk, but not without a sharp edge in it, slowly unfurling, like the jaws of a venus flytrap. “I just wanted to teach you a lesson.”

You glare at him, your eyes piercing him like a dagger.

“Me? I wanted to teach you a lesson.”

This… was a bit too far, you must admit.

You storm out of the bathroom, like you could get away from the conversation.

“Go on, speak.” his words echo through the walls of the bedroom, making your movements halt immediately. You glance up at the window, faced with his reflection as he leans against the doorframe. “What should I learn from you? That you’re not afraid to run? To put your life in unnecessary danger?”

A long sigh leaves through your nostrils.

“If it comforts you, then yes, I realized that I had made a dumb decision.”

You don’t have to turn around to know he’s standing right behind you. Looming over you, shrouding you like an evil trickster spirit.

“I must admit I enjoyed your little attempt…” his palms are heavy on your shoulders, just like his words echoing close to shell of your ear. “Catching you, watching your resolves crumble, the raw terror plastered on your face…” the way his voice caresses you is just like the way he would hold a blade right against your throat, pressing down on the pulsing veins that could be cut open so easily. Like needles slowly being inserted into your ear canals. Eventually it softens, getting more serious and chiding. “But you did scare me. Have you ever thought about what would’ve happened if I didn’t go after you?”

You’d die, you would definitely die. Bleeding out amidst the leaves and grass, letting the frosty night bite you tense and weak. All alone in the dark.

Hold on…

You wouldn’t be injured if he hadn’t frightened you in the first place.

Did he just… no, it can’t be.

He slowly walks away from you, and you hear the bed creak under his weight. The choking feeling finally lifts from your throat. You turn towards one of the incense burners, already filled, it merely needs to be lit. But you do it slowly, just for the sake of appearing busy, to not feel obligated to carry on with the conversation.

But you should make peace with him before he does. He’ll make you face all of your mistakes and their consequences, if not outright making you suffer because of them. Rub all of them into your face until you have no choice but to plead for forgiveness.

It’s not easy, but you open your mouth. The scent of sandalwood lowers your guards, helping you be honest and brings forth the thoughts you’ve been trying to hide for a long time.

“Sometimes I wonder if we’re doing the right thing. And I wonder even more about that if we’ll fail before reaching our goal. Fail spectacularly. Because we want to do the impossible.”

“What is exactly the right thing? Being selfless? Forgetting all about our grudges and letting the world trample all over us? Or being selfish and crushing anyone under our feet to keep each other safe?”

Like an elastic band being strained for far too long, you snap. Luckily, the bronze lid of the incense burner holds out under your grasp.

“It’s too fucking late for moral arguments! Can’t you speak to me more directly for once? Instead of hiding behind your… carefully crafted scenarios that only prove your point.”

You should have avoided looking at him. At your serpent, who made you sin, who was cursed alongside you, your serpent who devoured your beloved Adam. You yearned for the remains, sitting in the bottomless pit of his stomach.

But you swore those remains spoke to you, through layers of flesh, scales, and deception. Soft and calm like a light summer breeze.

“Do you have doubts about me, darling? Are you giving up on me?”

The question breaks you, evaporating all of your anger and resentment in a flash. Devoid of any playful tone or hidden meanings, so raw that it takes hold of your heart and squeezes it so tight that it couldn’t possibly beat anymore.

You know how he twists the truth, striking right into the softest parts of you. He feeds you poison – yet you swallow it right down every single time.

“Faith has no zenith, my dear.” you answer, low and sweet, like you wanted to comfort him. The lid on the incense burner closes, giving you enough time to build up the courage to approach him. You weave your words carefully, in such fashion that it can be interpreted in multiple ways. If he switched just one little word, he’d immediately gain more insight into what’s really been weighing on your heart. “There’s no such peak we can reach on which we can stagnate forever. Faith sometimes wavers, sometimes we question our beliefs. Sometimes we’re unsure if our prayers are heard.” you get down on your knees before him, taking his hand into yours, giving him a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “But I do want to have faith in you.”

His features visibly soften. Heavy lids close in relief, and you feel his thumb brushing along your knuckles.

This is your chance! Go on, there’s no time more perfect than this to try to convince him.

“We should really get away from the temple.” you start with an almost resigned sigh, but your excitement soon starts to show. “Just for a few days. Manami will handle the followers while we leave for the countryside, or an island. We can bring the girls even.”

A faint glimmer in his eyes tells you his answer is going to disappoint you.

“They don’t know about the girls, but they certainly know about you.” he reminds you sternly. “The higher ups want us dead and the last time I offered to protect someone, they ended up getting killed.”

His voice is faint, almost shaky. He rarely talks about the death of Riko. And if he ever brings her up in a conversation, you know he means it.

The heavy lid above his eyes drops, violet irises hiding behind his lashes, averted from you. The words coming out of him are barely above a whisper, like his lips are made from lead, like forming the words is a tiring task because they’re so heavy, and filled with something violently torturing him.

“This is a risk I’m not willing to take again. Not even for you. Especially for you.”

You feel something pooling on your waterline. Translucent pearls of tears appear so involuntarily when you see him like this. Sometimes you do want to hurt him, but when you see him in pain, it torments you even worse.

“I’m not asking you to take risks for me. I never did. But you should take some for you. You could use some respite.” you lace your fingers with his. It brings you a strange kind of comfort how your hand just loses itself in his, but it’s yours that looks more lively and powerful. Like it’s you what keeps him together. As if without you he would shatter into pieces. “You take on an awful lot of responsibilities, I think sometimes more than you’re capable of handling.”

Affection sweeps through his features as he caresses your head, from the roots of your strands to the thick bone of your jaw. A lonely thumb brushing along from your cheekbone to the lobe of your ear. And there’s nothing you can do, only stare at him, wide-eyed with reverence, like he’s an ethereal being.

“This is not your cross to bear.”

He wanted to ease your concerns, but you’re much more stubborn than that. You won’t stand there, at a safe distance, watching him drag himself to his Calvary, whipped and crowned with thorns. You’ll push through the crowd, smash them to bits just to reach him and offer your veil to wipe his face. A thousand times, as many times as he needs.

“Of course it is, what do you expect from me? Unlike…” No, don’t say names, do not compare yourself to certain figures in your past and the way they treated him. “I’m worried about you, for no other reason than I genuinely care about you. That’s why I want you to put our plans to aside - let’s unwind a little, recharge. Before all of this drives us insane.”

He deliberately avoids answering, your concern grows and grows like vicious vine. Is this too much to ask for? A small moment of normalcy can’t be granted to you? What are the two of you really? Idols of worship, if not gods at this point because your sheep do regard you as such. But can’t gods long for a visit amongst mortals? Can’t they shed their divine status? You could, but maybe, before he’d let you leave, he’ll feed you pomegranate seeds.

Would you eat them again? Of course you would. Even if you fight and snarl a little beforehand. Because love is the death of duty, and of a peaceful mind, of comprehensive decisions. Love is so mystified, shrouded in the illusion of an immortalized existence, just like death. Love is, indeed, death.

Your palms cup his face, his skin radiates warmth through you. The warmth of the evening sun that makes the sky bleed with the prettiest colors you can imagine. Your touch slowly encourages him to look into your eyes, finding a strange kind of determination and care mixed with your obvious worry. A Magdalene dwells within your gaze, who already washed her prophet’s feet with tears and dried them with her hair before he starts his last journey to Golgotha.

“I told you a million times, if you fall too deep into your misery, when you feel like you can’t come back to the surface on your own, let me know, so I can pull you out. Or let me know so I can go after you. And we’ll drown together.”

All those little pacts and vows you made during the years echo through you. Even the first one, the most ancient of them all, when it was still easy to hide your concerns behind your techniques.

I’ll keep an eye on you.

It’ll keep an eye on you.

You lean closer, foreheads and the tips of your noses touching. Eyes closing in almost perfect synchronicity.

“Promise me, Suguru. Promise me again.”

You wait and wait, until his warm breath brushes your skin like fine silk, like a feather.

“I promise.”

You sigh in relief. It hurts, it hurts so much. There’s so much place in your heart for him to dwell in. He owns it and he won’t give it back. Ever.

You only wanted a chaste kiss, but a special type of hunger wakes deep below your navel. You taste his words, you swallow them down, nipping them from his lips. You look for the rest of them, his thoughts that hadn’t been formed into words yet, the rest of the sentence, you search for it with your tongue inside his mouth.

You grab onto the sheets, trying to push yourself up. Like you could overpower him, like you could battle against him. To have him laid out on the mattress, defeated. But he stops your advances with a palm resting on your shoulder, gently pushing you away.

“You’re not healed yet.” he whispers, truly concerned.

“Then I’ll be on top, I don’t care.” you oppose breathily, your fingers trying to pry his robe open.

“The cut on your hand could re-open if we’re not careful.”

Oh, how you adore him when he’s so tender with you, but now, this is the last thing you want. You want to bare your teeth and go right for the throat.

“Then you’ll stitch me up again.” There’s a playful edge in your voice, and you kiss him again with the same curve of a smile while he lets you crawl on top of him.

And he smiles against you too, delighted by your eagerness. You, trying to eat him up, digest him - he’s just enjoying you and the feast you’re having. Taking everything from you. He only wants to capture you, to cage you in his hold. He’s kneading your flesh leisurely and humming into your mouth contently, almost lazily.

In the crooks of his body, you find your religion.

The sharp line of his jaw, the tendons of his neck, the hollow caverns around his collarbone. But your mouth carefully avoids the scars slashing through his chest, after all those years, it still pains him when the lightly coloured, textured skin gets touched. As if these lips of yours and your aimlessly trailing fingers were the same blades, penetrating the flesh again and again.

There’s not a morsel of him that you weren’t intimately familiar with. In a way that rivals how much you know about yourself. And what you know even better is that how can you venerate them, dote on them, adore, and idolize with such devotion you could anger all deities created by man and make them scream blasphemy on you.

You take his cock in your hand, teasingly working your palms around him. Pumping it, stroking your thumb along the underside to make his breath hitch. His dick grows beneath your hands, getting harder and heavier. The first beads of precum get smeared along the length by your skillful fingers.

“You know you don’t have to- “but you cut him off while settling between his legs.

“Just relax and let me do all the work.” your response comes out a bit more deadpan than planned. “You deserve it once in a while.”

And with that, you wrap your lips around him, enveloping him in warmth and wetness, your tongue slowly swirling around the head. His thighs twitch, more precum oozes into your waiting mouth as the muscle between your teeth works eagerly. You give him a few, gentle sucks, slurping up the mixture of your own saliva and his arousal. Between ragged breaths, he reminds you to breathe through your nose as you take more and more of his length. You relax your jaw, your fingers tense around the base of his cock and you’re trying as hard as you can to defeat the urge to gag. When you fit all of him inside your mouth, you empty your lungs and give him a harder suck, hard enough to make you cheeks hollow and his chest heave. As your free hand is occupied with kneading his balls between your fingers and knuckles, a moan bursts out of him.

The sound boosts your confidence, filling you with a wicked kind of playfulness. The kind of wicked that makes you pull back your tongue a little, as to not keep your teeth hidden. You drag them along his sensitive, pulsing underside, balancing the pressure between pleasure and pain. Like you could prove to him that you’re ready to bite back, that this is the only moment when he can’t control you, that he shouldn’t underestimate you.

And just as if he could read your thoughts, his hand goes for your head, fingers getting lost between your strands. But he’s not as cruel as to push you down on him, instead he guides you, increases the rhythm that you’re working with. Steady and firm, but not too fast. You earn yourself his praises, soft curses pitched higher than his normal voice.

This is what real worship looks like.

When you feel the muscles in his thighs and stomach tensing up, you stop. You emerge from the space between his legs, wiping your lips clean and admiring your work. All that flushed skin blooming in pink on his chest and face. You move, trying to get into a new position, settling your calves right next to hips. You start aligning yourself with his cock to finally start grinding on him.

He sits up and traps you with an arm coiling around your waist.

“Since when were you so reckless?”

His hand creeps around the apex of your thighs. A finger barely brushes along your slit. By adding another digit, he spreads your folds, finding hot, smooth, slippery flesh.

“I would’ve prepped myself.” that’s all you can say in your defense.

Fingertips circle your hole, applying a bit of pressure, checking how much you’ve loosened up. He invades you slowly as your lungs empty, the hardened skin on his fingers stroking and massaging your sweet spots before he starts working you open.

You wrap your arms around him, slowly undoing his bun to have something to grab onto as you jolt, as your bones melt, as your brows furrow in bliss. The moans coming from you are breathy and tender, and you hide them in his strands. He twists his fingers inside you, stretching your warm muscles further, making your back arch and you press your hardened nipples to his chest. Your essence engulfs his knuckles, clear and sticky like honey.

The heel of his palm settles right against your clit and you shamelessly grind on it. Your mewls pass over his ears as he’s nuzzling into the crook of your neck, nipping at the skin of a faint scar. But you resist giving in, you stop him, telling him that’s enough, but in reality you just want your control back. Take back the lead and revel in it.

And somehow he obeys, laying back into the sheets.

You slip out of your robe, showing yourself fully. The bruises on your skin can finally bathe in the dim lamplight, painting the complexion of your sides, shoulders, and upper arm in different shades of blue and purple, like paint on bare canvas. Like the night sky carrying storm clouds, like you’re rotting, decomposing. You find a twisted, perverted joy in the fact that he must be seeing them for the whole time.

“Slowly, slowly.” he murmurs softly as you’re pushing the head of his cock inside you. “There’s no need to rush.” Trimmed nails trail up and down from the flesh of your thighs to your bruised sides. Tender and slow like a ghost, goosebumps pepper your skin from the tickling feeling. “I’m already yours.” He purrs and your heart flutters.

And there’s so, so much pride in you that only you can render him to this state. Too powerful for the world to bear him, capable to burn this plane to ruins, defying the barriers between a mortal and a god - or something way worse than that. Maybe you should receive twice the respect from your herd, for being the only person who can enslave him in this way, that only you can have this sort of power over him. Only you can overthrow him. Because you’re just too dear to him, too close to his burning heart.

Maybe it’s your time to warn him. Tame him like the monster he is.

You move with your own rhythm. His hand caged between your fingers and pressed down against the sheets. You give him no other choice but to venerate you back and he does, with pleased, low rumbles coming from his throat. Only a singular hand is allowed to roam your form freely. On your back tracing the shallow line where your spine lies beneath skin and flesh, wandering towards the inner part of your thighs, then to your stomach and chest. And you reward him with a prayer of your own, encapsulated in deep, long sighs.

But you’re too trusting of him. You let your guard down too easily.

You’re holding onto his kneecaps, leaning towards them a little, allowing every inch of you to be seen. You want to give him a show, but your knees are too worn and tired.

He takes hold of your hips, helping you guide yourself along his length. His pelvis moves along with you in synced rhythm. Your teeth are pressing down on the soft skin of your lips, but you can’t keep your whimpers in. You’re getting close, your muscles and nerves are st tight and pulsing, your walls are pressing down on his length. His name mindlessly slips out of your mouth.

Maybe you can say you love him before you shatter.

But his fingers clench around you, strong and firm, stopping your movements. Lifting your hips up so high that his cock is barely inside, robbing you from your incoming orgasm.

You’re shocked, eyes staring into the nothingness, open wide. Your stomach drops, stirring up all kinds of feelings dwelling in you. A chill races down your vertebrae as you glance down at him.

“Suguru..?” Your voice is weak, shaky.

Fear courses through your being, primordial and all-consuming.

And when he speaks to you it’s all dark, shrouded in malevolence.

“You forgot one thing, darling. After I brought you back from the forest.”

No, no, no, he can’t do this to you! He can’t hold your orgasm hostage for the sake of toying with you! You should puncture his flesh your nails, scratch him, tear him up, but you can only grit your teeth. Your features twist from bliss to rage.

“You…” boiling anger swims through your voice. It’s like it’s not even your voice - more like a hiss, a growl.

There’s an undecipherable mixture of pity and amusement in his eyes. He twitches inside you but you’re too upset to notice.

“Apologize.” he sneers - almost commands.

His words cause anger to bubble up in you.

“Oh, you piece of shit…!” you seethe, but sob and moan when he slams you back on his cock, stretching you around his length again. Wanting to quench your rage with the sensation you crave the most right now.

“I hope, for your sake, I don’t have to repeat myself.”

It doesn’t matter how much you try to squirm, fuss and wriggle, he forces you still. His behaviour frustrates you to no end when you’re so desperate for a bit of friction, the horribly hollow and burning feeling of your lost peak torturing you seemingly endlessly. To the point where you’re too tired to put up a fight, when you’re teetering on the edge of breaking. You know you must swallow your pride, you have let him have it his way.

“I… I’m sorry.” you apologize meekly, teary-eyed, your voice a pathetic mewl. He finally starts lifting you up and easing you down, building you up slowly. But it’s not enough. You need more but he won’t give it to you just yet.

“You do?” he asks you in a way that it cuts deep into your marrow. It’s not even close to a loving tease – no, he’s outright mocking you.

Vicious bastard. You should grab his throat and squeeze the air out of him.

“Yes, I do!” you cry out without thinking. “I’m sorry for running away from you.” you push the words out through your whimpers. He increases the pace, making you yelp and shake, you end up closing your eyes reflexively. He robbed you from the sensation for so long that you became sensitive, it’s easier to make a mess out of you. Your face is red with shame, so much so you can’t look him in the eyes. The humiliation is like an invisible rope tightening around your neck.

“Promise you’ll never do that to me again.”

He pushes your hips further along his length this time, shifting you a bit towards his thighs. Creating a perfect angle, he uncovers a sweet spot inside you that makes you almost incapable of forming coherent words. And he eats the sight right up.

“…I promise… I promise...” you manage to get your answer out in the form of a choked hiccup. Your vision blurs. Everything is too intense for you to handle. You swear that the very shape of you could dissolve at any given moment.

Faith is desperate. Gods are hungry for despair. So they deliberately make you suffer and only then reveal themselves to you.

His fingers dig into your waist so hard it burns. You feel the world shift with you and then you collide with the sheets. Your bruised back ripples with pain. You’re unsure if he did it out of spite or not. You don’t know if he’ll completely shatter your dignity, or if he’s fine with just enforcing the feeling that you can never be above him, that you can never defeat him.

His weight on top of you is overwhelming. The midnight dark locks of his hair spread around you like spilled ink. And through the thick fog of your mind, too far gone in twisted, masochistic pleasure, you lock your legs around his waist. You don’t want him to go away. You might as well cease to exist if he does.

“And what do we say when we apologize?”

The soft plea coming from you is more instinctual rather than deliberate.

“Forgive me.”

You ache for him to move, you’re starved for the incoming high. Like a ravenous beast, all devouring. When he finally gives it to you, his thrusts make you feel possessed, make your back arch, your head falls back into the pillow as if you were offering your neck to him (maybe one day he won’t be able to resist the urge and will bite down on the jugular, through your trachea, putting you out of your misery) - you don’t dare to beg for anything else.

Maybe just for a little blood. A mark he can wear, just like you wear your bruises. Your nails somehow acquire a will of their own, your scratches have him excited and pleased.

His fingers meander around your jaw, gently coaxing you into letting him guide your gazes to meet again.

He’s imitating you, admiring his work like you did with him. And what he sees is a being stripped from any likeness of a dignified human being. With eyes so blown he can see the bottommost pits of Hell in them.

And he’s satisfied, rewarding you with a soft kiss on your temple.

“I forgive you.”

Your release crashes over you like a tide, submerging you, burning you to cinders on the inside. Tearing you apart. And when he collapses on top you after filling you to the brim, you feel like a festering wound.

He’s a disease, miasma, a flesh-eating parasite crawling inside you.

“You’re…” you huff. “You’re awful.”

“I know. But you love me all the same.”

You wonder what you should have done to earn a different outcome, but you give up soon. Looks like he already had plans for your atonement in mind. After all, gods are impatient creatures. They’re dependent on your reverence and servitude. And you’ve waited for too long to make things right.

Why, why, why - it echoes inside your head.

But if you think about it… he’s your serpent. The vilest, most horrendous creature created by God. The one who charmed you, tempted you with sin and has now sunken his fangs into you. Of course he did, and instead of trying to heal from his venomous bite, you want to catch him - to find out his reasons, to prove to him that you didn’t deserve that.

And yet you could never, ever prove him wrong. Your serpent will always think it was right to bite. It’s in his nature afterall.

“Is your hand alright?”

He makes it up to you with spoiling you again. He cleans your wounds so sweetly, so thoughtfully, looks after you in a way that nobody could, which confuses you even further.

He cherishes you, destroys himself for the sake of keeping you safe - not like it’s a choice, but a must - just like a mother would. He scolds you, reminds you not to make the same mistake again, collars you, keeps you on a tight leash, only loosening it (just a little) when he succeeded at making you play by his rules, just like a father would.

And somehow, he excels at both. Way better than those two ever did when it came to you.

You wish your glare could pierce right through his skull when you hand the empty glass back to him. You don’t have it in you to play nice. You don’t even attempt hide that you’re sulking, he probably finds it funny - adorable even.

“Go to hell.” you spit and lay back into the sheets, your bruised back facing him.

“Oh, darling…” he coos, but the surface level sweetness of his tone hides a sharp edge of condescendence. He crawls into bed, right behind you, caging you in his embrace, forcing you to feel the warmth of his body. The warmth that you’re so used to, the one you can’t sleep without it. Nobody has ever made you feel this safe, and the fact makes your heart ache and your stomach twist.

“If there’s a Hell, I’ll see you there.”

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #getou suguru x reader #getou suguru x y/n #getou suguru x you #jjk x reader #suguru geto x reader #meesa writes #DAAARLING GUESS WHOS COME BACK FROM JAIIIIL #Idk what kind of deep psychological issue of mine is in that fic but now its your job to decipher #just please dont bring Freud into the picture I hate that man

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theunsweetenedtruth · 3 months ago

Text

Kinksize

AN: Request from Tumblr: Can I request a fic where the main girl is used to dealing with indecisive and small, in both body and mind, men and when she meets M'Baku who wants to court her she's just blown away by his big personality and size? Just completely enamored by his build and his presence.

Originally written in 2019 and somehow this still works LMAO

Desiree was tired. Once again, she'd had to walk out of a date with another man who found her intelligence, her ideals, her body to be too big to handle. In order to try to handle her, he'd begun talking shit.

"You know you'll never get a man acting like that," Christ or Craig or whatever the fuck his name was said.

"I'm sorry? Acting like what?" Desiree was playing dumb. Let this nigga dig his own hole.

Carlos couldn't let the moment to 'educate' her pass. He sat up in his seat, leaning forward eagerly. "You act too smart and too busy. I mean, I don't want a woman who knows more than I do or who makes more than I do. I'm the man so I'm supposed to provide for you. And what you know so much about politics for anyways? I don't even see the point in voting. I'm gonna be fine irregardless."

Desiree made note that irregardless was being used incorrectly and took a sip of her water. They hadn't even ordered yet.

"And I need a woman who's all about me and what I have going on anyways."

"I'm sorry what is it you do?"

"I'm a real estate agent but I work at Target too."

"Do you have your realtor's license?"

"Well...no. But I'm working on it."

"So you work at Target." Desiree rolled her eyes discreetly. But she was supposed to quit her job as the pricing manager of a major freight and logistics company to make him feel better about himself? She took another sip of water.

"Yeah I can get you a discount on jeans and pants and stuff." Desiree thought if the discount at Target would be worth it but then decided she'd rather pay full price at Target everyday for the rest of her life than to deal with his attitude. "You could lose some weight first and then I'll help you get some new Target clothes."

"Excuse me?" Her tone was icy; any other man with sense would've immediately backtracked.

Cory wasn't that smart.

"Yeah you could lose like 100 pounds. I don't need a fat girl who's gonna crush me while I'm doing it."

'Doing it.' Yeah she was done.

Desiree took another sip of water before lighting into this sorry excuse for a person. "Why would you think I'd want to fuck you? You're a pathetic man intimidated by the success of a black woman because you have none of your own. Quite frankly, you're not up to my standards and I pity the woman who will settle and out up with your misogynistic crap."

Is what she wanted to say. But there are so many women who end up getting killed after rejecting or embarrassing a man. So instead she got up and walked away.

Desiree sat at the bar of a hotel down the the block. She didn't want to go home and deal with her sister, who kept setting her up with these losers. Lexi had it in her head that Desiree should be out living her life, sleeping around and having fun before settling down and having two kids, just like she did. But Desiree had no desire to settle for a man just for sex and an occasional outing. She wanted to be swept off her feet by a secure man, who didn't demand her submission but willingly accepted. Who was worthy of being submitted to.

She was the youngest pricing manager at her big time logistics company. She was the final decision maker on several sales approving millions of dollars in revenue a year. She owned her own home, drove a car she bought herself, and had good friends that supported her. So what she hadn't had a relationship since high school? She had all the other aspects that made up a great full life. The man would come later.

"Is this seat taken?" A deep voice rumbled next to her and Desiree turned to look at the owner.

Good God she thought. This man is gorgeous. He was broad shouldered, bulging muscles showing through the button up and suit jacket her was wearing. He'd unbuttoned the first two buttons, showing his throat and Desiree had to fight the urge to nuzzle the skin there. Not that she'd be able to reach. At five foot four and 220 pounds, he dwarfed her. He was taller than she was sitting on a bar stool. Desiree wanted to be picked up by this bear of a man, seated on his lap, wrapped in his arms...

A throat clearing shook her from her thoughts. She'd been staring. Her face felt hot with embarrassment. When she glanced back at him, she saw a smirk on his face and she ducked her head gesturing to the seat to her right.

He signaled for the bartender and Desiree felt like a creep watching thick fingers tap on the bar. She noticed his nails were clean but the hands had the calluses of a man used to manual labor and—

No ring. He heart leapt at the thought that he wasn't taken but she tried to calm herself. In her experience, not having a ring didn't mean anything except that he wasn't wearing one.

"You make a habit of staring at stranger?" His voice once again rang through her ears, his accent just like the rest of him: thick.

Desiree met amused eyes. "Only if the stranger is interesting enough to catch my eye." His eyes darkened and Desiree bit her lip at her boldness. She was not like this normally. The bartender setting down his drink saved her from the power of his gaze.

"I'm M'Baku," he said holding out a hand.

"Desiree." The way M'Baku said her name back to her made he want to make him say it all night.

"Are you a guest at the hotel?"

Desiree felt her frustration return at the reminder of what her night had been like so far. "No. I ducked in here to get away from a bad date."

M'Baku signaled to the bartender again to bring her another drink. "Why don't you tell me about it."

————————

M'Baku had seen the beautiful Desiree while she was at dinner. He'd been with T'Challa, Erik, and some American business men hoping to wine and dine them into working out a deal. M'Baku wasn't interested, preferring to look around the fancy restaurant he could tell wouldn't serve enough food.

And something had caught his attention.

Glory to Hannuman, he thought, looking at the woman. She was elegant looking, natural hair a cloud around her face, delicate shoulders exposed in an off the shoulder top tucked into a shimmery skirt. The skirt reflected blue in the lights of the chandelier and highlighted wide hips and a round behind. She was gorgeous and M'Baku spent many moments staring at her.

His eyes slid over to the person with her. Her dinner companion was a small man. Not just in stature, but M'Baku could tell that he was small in mind as well. His body language towards the woman in front of him was dismissive and distant. M'Baku wanted to snatch the man up by the collar and give him a shake before whisking the woman away. What he wouldn't give to have such a woman dress up for him. Or undress.

He could see that the woman was annoyed with the man who was now eagerly talking her ear off. Before he could make the decision to rescue her from her date, she got up, gathered her things and walked out. He heard the man complain about her but he was a harmless punk who didn't do anything. M'Baku slumped and tried to listen to the schmoozing going around him. He'd missed his opportunity.

When he'd entered the hotel, he caught the glimmer of a sequined skirt out the corner of his eye. He didn't explain himself to T'Challa or Erik, walking towards Desiree without a backwards glance. He wouldn't let another opportunity pass him by.

Now he was sitting, listening to Desiree lament the details of her short lived date. She was more beautiful up close, her hand gestures wild and her hair moved as she did. M'Baku watched as her lips moved; he was enamored.

"Well his loss is my gain," M'Baku said sliding him arm across the back of her chair. He was testing the waters; it was clear she was attracted to him but enough to spend the night together? Enough to possibly spend their lives? M'Baku was all in already.

Desiree leaned into him. "My night has definitely turned around." She had a sexy smirk on her face.

M'Baku moves in to whisper in her ear. "Would you like to make the night better?" Her eyes smoldered. It was a go

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Desire was in the elevator, standing across from M'Baku, on the way to the top floor, panicking on the inside. She was a modern, 21st century woman; she'd had her fair share of sexual experiences but never so soon after meeting someone. She didn't think of it as a one night stand though; she could tell that he was serious. He'd listened to her and wanted to make her night better. Desiree was someone who went off of vibes with a person and she felt safe with M'Baku, as she'd known him for a longer time than just the night. Plus even if it was only a one night thing, Desiree knew it'd be the best night of her life.

She pushed off the wall to the elevator to approach M'Baku. His eyes were dark as he watched her. When she was chest to chest with him, she pressed up to her toes. He bent his head and met her halfway, pressing soft, full lips to her own. His beard tickled her chin and she slipped her tongue in his mouth. His hands ran down the length of her spine, over her hips, to curve to her ass and squeezed. Desiree moaned into his mouth and M'Baku pulled away to press kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, and her neck, suckling in a way that had Desiree mewling.

The ding of the elevator wrenched them away from each other. Desiree smiles at him bashfully and M'Baku answered with a grin of his own. He held out a hand and she placed hers in his. They walked in silence, hand in had to his room. They were really going to do this. Desiree couldn't wait.

M'Baku fishes the key out of his pocket and opened the door for her. Desiree steppes into the suite. It was extremely fancy. She could tell from his clothing that this man wasn't like anything she'd dealt with before, but his hotel reiterated this. She took in the neatness, clothes hung in the closet behind glass doors and a fur throw was at the end of the bed. Desiree ran her hand through the fur before turned back to M'Baku.

He was watching her move around his space. The air between them was thick with anticipation of what was to come. They both knew what the other wanted; it was just a matter of who would make the first move.

It was M'Baku this time. He slowly crossed the room, shrugging off his dinner jacket. The white button up was tight across his chest and his muscles rippled with each step. He wrapped thick arms around her waist before lowering his head and kissing her again. It was the same dance in the elevator, lips sliding along, tongues delving into one another's mouths. M'Baku nipped at her lips, tugging at the skin of her lower lip. Desiree wrapped her arms around his neck. Sliding his hands to her thighs he hoisted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. If she wasn't in love before, she was now; this was some movie shit. She'd never thought she'd meet a man who could handle her in this way.

M'Baku sat on the bed before lying back, Desiree straddling his hips. She felt his erection press into her core and wound her waist to grind down on him. She reached to begin unbuttoning his shirt, caressing his skin as she went. He moved to help her undress, stroking her belly and putting calloused hands on her breasts. He pulled her nipples through her bras d he felt her grind down on him harder.

They rushed to get the other's clothes off, getting distracted as more skin exposed and pressing kisses to each other. When Desiree saw M'Baku's erection she felt faint. He was big everywhere. His fingers slipped into her panties and her played with her swollen clit before going lower to finder her already slippery. Desiree's eyes closed against the sensation. His fingers were thick playing with her, stretching her wide.

"Condoms?"

"I don't have any. Didn't plan this." M'Baku's rough voice sounded in her ear as he kept fingering her.

"I'm clean..."

"So am I."

"You can pull out." M'Baku groaned and Desiree was tossed on her back.

————————

M'Baku felt wild with a need he had t felt in a long time. This woman was strong his blood on fire underneath his skin. She was allowing him to kiss and caress her but also go inside and bring them both pleasure. He kissed her as he removed the rest of her clothes.

Desiree's dark nipples were puckered for his pleasure and ducked his head to suckled. Her moans were music to ears as he alternated between both, plucking with his fingers at the other. He leaned back to grip his dick, the head leaking already. He was hard and ready. He tapped the head on her clit after a few times before going in as slow as he could.

M'Baku felt her stiffen up. He did his best to keep still but she was warm and wet and tight. He wasn't even halfway in and he felt like he would burst already. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah..."She was panting. "Just go slow." M'Baku pulled out and pushed back in further. He heard her make a boise that had him dig in her deeper. His mouth fit over hers as he moved his hips, his dick sliding against her slowly, pulling on her clit.

"Baku," she cried out. She was gushing over him and he kept slipping and sliding deeper until he was all the way in. They were both panting while M'Baku wined his hips into her.

"What is it baby? What do you need?"

"That's it keep going like that. You got me so wet." She was winding her hips back on him, setting a new pace and M'Baku changed his stroke to keep up. His head was full of her. What was she doing to him

A deep groan wretched it's way out of his throat. Her pussy was gripping him. "Shiiiit...oh shiiiiiittt." Desiree wrapped her legs around his waist and bucking into him. He looked down to where they were joined and she was creaming, painting his dick white. The heavy sounds of skin slapping and Desiree calling him daddy was fading away to a ringing noise in his ear. He needed to pullout before he came.

"Come on Desiree. Cum for me." He kept dragging his dick thrusting hard. He felt her squeeze around him, gripping him almost painfully. She cried out loudly gripping his arms and dragging her nails down his bicep. The pain mixed with the overwhelming pleasure had him scrambling to pull out. He drenched her clit and folds with his cum, his orgasm longer and stronger than he'd ever experienced. He had a brief thought of cumming inside her before brushing it away. Now that he'd found her. He had no intention of letting her go. There'd be other opportunities.

He looked at Desiree. She had a blissful look on her face and was laying boneless with glassy eyes. He'd fucked her well. He rolled over to the side of the bed and struggled to get to his feet. She'd fucked him just as good, his legs were shaking. He came back with a warm, wet rag to clean up the mess they'd made. When he was finished, he went back into bed and pulled Desire into his arms, navigating around the wet spot they'd left. Desiree was asleep, small puffs of breath tickling his chest. M'Baku was the epitome of satisfaction. He would wake her up in a few hours for another round but he was content to watch her, the woman he wanted in his future.

#unsweetimagine #m'baku x black!oc #i secretly love m'baku more than everyone #m'baku fanfiction #m'baku x reader #m'baku x oc

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dr-spectre · 5 months ago

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I really do appreciate it when my ramblings and mentions of Hypno Callie pop off. It gives me this warm feeling to know that there are people out there who feel the same way I do, that they look at me go "damn.... this guy is kinda cooking."

It makes me feel like I'm not alone and I truly appreciate it. Sometimes I will stumble across a random fan comic of Callie getting tricked into wearing the shades and Octavio being a vile unredeemable piece of a shit, watches her lose her memories and all that other bull crap. It genuinely gives me this fucking stinging in my chest and boils my blood until it becomes magma.

All of my ramblings and analyses are just me going "hey, I think there is depth here that a lot of people are missing. I think you guys are making this way darker and vile than it needs to be. It's serious but in a more nuanced way and let me show you my findings to counteract this weird and disturbing take a lot of people have towards an important arc for Callie." It's so... weirdddddd man. It makes me really uncomfortable. Like actual feelings of "this fucking hurts to look at. Why are they doing this to my comfort character?"

I don't have an issue with AUs that are darker ofc. You're allowed to have dark alternative takes on Callie duh LMAO! Im not the fucking Callie police. But when you start putting that shit into the main timeline and you say that this dark and awful shit actually happened to Callie, then i have a fucking problem personally. Callie went through some shit don't get me wrong, but don't fucking come up to me and suggest that she was not only overworked, alone, then snatched up by Octavio and the Octarians, her memories were removed and she was brainwashed and her brain was flooded with Octarian ideals. This is Splatoon we're talking about here for God sake why the fuck are you coming to that horrible conclusion? Callie going "alright fine ill hear you out dude" and her getting hypnotised fits way better in the franchise THAN THAT DARK TAKE TONS OF PEOPLE SAY!!! WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?! COME ON! CAN WE STOP?!

Anyways, thank you all for being incredibly supportive and not total pieces of shit. I think I made the right choice by posting on tumblr because 95% of you are really sweet!!!!!

#splatoon #callie cuttlefish #callie splatoon #hypno callie #octo callie #splatoon 3 #splatoon 2 #dj octavio #octarians #autistic rambling #rambles #ramblings #rant post #sorry for the rant #personal rant #personal ramblings #thank you guys

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taddpolepond · 2 months ago

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HI THIS IS MY INTRO/PINNED I HOPE YOU LIKE IT :3

Hello!! I'm Keddy, I'm a jack-of-all-trades type account, posting system stuff, horror stuff, rants, general nerdy stuff and more so if you are exclusively ONE of those things and don't wanna see another one of these probably dont follow me... but liking individual posts is good, i don't judge cuz i don't even look at my notifs 90% of the time.

FANDOMS:

Outlast Trials, RDR2, Mortal Kombat, Super Sonico, Overwatch, Apex Legends, Fallout (specifically 4), D:BH, Postal, JJBA, Yakuza, Borderlands, Bioshock, The Boys, Marvel/DC, We Happy Few, Resident Evil, Death Stranding, Arcane, GTAV, The Suffering, uhh just ask for anything else and ill give a yes or no answer

EXTRA/BOUNDARIES

I do art requests for agere stuff, just no irl people or characters that are mostly them (like sanders sides or markiplier/jacksepticeye personas since thats just them w different clothes lmao) also none o that vivziepop crap or anything that would be rejected by a normal member of society like alfreds playhouse, tcc, or darkship stuff.

Also don't flirt w me or make romantic/sexual comments about my ocs cuz it makes me and my wife uncomfortable.. also if u wanna be moots due to mutual interests id love to!!!! But if you wanna add me on disc i gotta get to know u better cuz im cautious with tumblr dwellers 😓

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waitmyturtles · 1 year ago

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Turtles Encounters Her First Full GMMTV Upfronts Experience: A Personal Journey Into GMMTV2024

LOL, I don't mean to be dramatic -- I was around a little bit (?) last November for the GMMTV2023 upfronts, and I honestly did not know what was going on, except to scream about Cherry Magic Thailand. Back then, I was much more of a Japanese BL gal (see: Cherry Magic), but now I'm down with the GMMTV scene, as it were, through my Old GMMTV Challenge project, and I'm ready to wax on deez trailers.

One huge overall note: YES TO DUDES NOT BEING IN BRANDED PAIRS. Your Gawins, your Ohms, your Thors, your Joss-es. YES. This is an exciting line-up to me to see the dudes getting mixed up. As much as I loved Be My Favorite, I don't need to see GawinKrist again.

I am stealing the formats of the wonderful @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm to offer my thoughts on the trailers! (My list is literally gonna look like everyone else's list, LMAO).

FUCK YES

My Golden Blood: Joss, Gawin, Mond, Neo. Vampires. Blood. Baseball bats. LSKDJFLSJDFLKSJDGLKJSDLGKJSLDKGJLDSKF. The SFX are gonna be SO BAD. Joss sucking Gawin's blood will be SO FUCKING GOOD. I AM STILL SCREAMING. OBVIOUSLY.

Kidnap: Ohm Pawat's next BL. While he had previously said that he wanted Bad Buddy to be his last BL, the bullying scandal that he encountered this past year makes this decision a sensible one to get back on the brand engagement train. His co-star, Leng Thanaphon, is gorgeous looks like he's making a strong debut. I am very happy for Ohm, but I think I am a bit spoiled by knowing his previous non-GMMTV oeuvre so well (Make It Right, Dew, He's Coming To Me), and I'm feeling like GMMTV isn't pushing his acting chops as much as they used to. (Meaning.... I'd be okay if he left GMMTV one day to do more movies.) Time will tell, but I am happy for him -- he is a king of BL, the most prevalent actor on the OGMMTVC list, and this'll let him rebuild his career. He deserves it, and is a personal fave of mine.

Wandee Goodday: YO. So obviously this looks intriguing! But like -- I'd expect Golf Tanwarin to be doing this for another network. Full-frontal, heavy (HEAVY!) sex talk, smoochin' everywhere. I'm impressed GMMTV is going here. It's perhaps because I have Domundi on the mind heavily with my recent ZeeNunew education, but I have been feeling as of late that GMMTV has been choosing fluff and/or crap romance (SEE: DANGEROUS ROMANCE -_-) over... pure sex, as it were, and this is getting closer to a Domundi-style show than even where Only Friends went. I LOVE THOR. I LOVE THOR!!!! I'm excited for this, and me likey the looks of Inn.

On Sale: I am LOVING this new we're-not-in-school-we-are-just-insane TayNew era. And Jan is a FAVE FAVE FAVE of mine, and looks like she's gonna level this show the FUCK up. I'm SO INTO THIS.

Pluto: For sure I am watching this for Film (oh, and hi, Thor and Arm!). I'm not the biggest Namtan fan? I wasn't the biggest fan of her acting in Midnight Museum or UMG. Kinda flat. But she's at the top of the popular actress list at GMMTV, and it's great that someone of her prominence is flirting in the QL space. Film, though -- Film has CHOPPPPPPPPPPS and will likely eat this role. We might never get EarnPear, but this might be close.

My Precious: For NanonFilm, anything. But this is just the movie with more scenes, right? I don't know if it was ever going to get international distribution as a movie anyway. K. I'll buy it!

The Trainee: Tell me where I've seen OffGun do movie shit before -- and I don't mind the slight theme repeat. KapookPiploy, huh? I have not seen Vice Versa, but I really enjoyed Sea Tawinan in that. Gun crying, not surprising, but I officially stan OffGun because of Not Me, and I'll stand by this one.

UMMMM

My Love Mix-Up: See here for my initial thoughts. I came to Thai BLs from Japanese BLs. Kieta Hatsukoi was one of the first JBLs I discovered specifically through Tumblr. Japanese BLs are so varied -- and I think, when one is watching JBLs, to have a gentle/general sense of how sex is perceived/managed/dealt with in Japanese culture. I'm not gonna get into this too much here, but the ways in which Japanese and Thai societies deal with sex is very different. Anyway. I think my own mental dissonance on this conversation is coloring my thoughts on My Love Mix-Up Thailand/Kieta Hatsukoi Thailand. Pairs are not repeated in Japan (unless you have second seasons of the same show), and to have an established branded pair in GemFourth in Ida and Aoki's roles -- I'm just, I'm not sure. I don't want the show to feel pressured to go to a place it wouldn't go to without a branded pair. Will Thailand pay homage to Ida's unique and inquisitive demi identity? Can the branded ship economy manage that? I dunno. Let's wait and find out.

Summer Night: I'm going to be gentle on this one. I like that Phuwin takes on various het roles. I happened to LOVE HIM in The Warp Effect. And I like Bimbeam in here -- she actually showed some firm chops in 55:15 Never Too Late. Only if the schedule allows will I take this one, but I actually like the smell of it a bit.

Ossan's Love: What in the EarthMix. Ossan's Love was often cited as queerbaiting material for early Japanese BLs (EDITING TO ADD: just want to clarify that that statement literally came from my early days in JBLs reading Twitter; thank you to @twig-tea and @nieves-de-sugui for the clarifications in the comments!); I have never watched it, but understand its importance in the Japanese BL repertoire. I'm gonna remain sus on this until we find out more. (Although, I'm VERY EXCITED to see a channel like TV Asahi break out of the Japanese paradigm of not collaborating with other countries to get this on Thai TV air. TV Asahi and TV Tokyo for Cherry Magic are real groundbreakers, and I do dig that.)

Only Boo: When I was talking about this show with friends, and @neuroticbookworm said "Book's in this," I WAS LIKE, WHO'S BOOK? LMAO. Let me see Book away from Force for a GOD DAMN SECOND. I know we don't know anyone in here, but the actors actually seem strong! This was a fun preview.

We Are: Lots of couples. PondPhuwin, MarcPawin, WinnySatang, Aou and that other dude. What is this, a New Siwaj show? I might have enough to watch next year without needing to watch ANOTHER school drama. We'll see.

LIKELY NOT

Enigma 2: Not a fan of Win Metawin, and didn't watch the trailer.

High School Frenemy: I understand this is a K-drama remake of School 2013, which I haven't seen. I... am trying to understand the story here, but happy for View/June/Mark/Prom to be in a show together, and I'll pay more attention when the show's closer to airing.

HARD PASS

Ploy's Yearbook: Did not watch the trailer. I understand there's a storyline with Joong's character romancing his adopted sister. HARD. NO.

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dewdroppdraws · 2 years ago

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Hi I’m new to tumblr so I’m not sure how you normally post on here but I wanted to try posting some sketches of earth from tsams! I’m not the best with anatomy so I won’t lie I did trace over some photos (REAL PHOTOS NOT ART) I found on Pinterest and modified the proportions to fit my design, but I’m trying to improve lol. For now I just rlly wanted to flesh out my design for earth which I couldn’t do while my anatomy looked like crap 😭 all the full body ones I used references for but the one in the right corner was all me so I’ve got that to my name at least 💪 I’ll include my “reference” pictures as well :> and below the pics is an explanation of the design because I love to gush about this kind of thing. Fair warning, it’s pretty long LMAO

Hehe now it’s time for me to gush about my lil design 😈

So the first major difference you probably noticed (aside from body shape) is the very fluffy clothing I have her in. The leg warmers and… fingerless gloves? Leg warmers that she put on her arms? Idk what the arm ones are called but yk what I’m talking about lol. When I first noticed earths little rainbow headband my brain immediately said “80’s workout videos”. The big hair, the rainbow headband, it just immediately jumped ot at me and stuck. I decided to give her oversized leg warmers in that same rainbow pattern because it made me sad that her actual design doesn’t have the rainbow anywhere else. It’s funky and I like it what can I say.

Next I decided I really wanted her to wear thigh-highs. I personally love thigh-highs and also it gave me an excuse not to think about her leg mechanics. I tend to draw Sun and Moon like ball joint dolls, but it gets a lil funky to draw when they are bending their limbs so having a fluffy excuse to hide them was ideal lol. I decided to go with the bold choice of putting thigh highs and leg warmers on her, which I don’t regret even tho it probably seems like a lot. I might change a few things about her later down the line since these were just basic sketches so don’t worry if you hate it.

I gave her shorts because a skirt just didn’t feel right for her. I feel like a daycare attendant would be very active, even if earth tends to sit with the quieter kids, and a skirt would be very awkward to climb around in. I figured shorts would be good. I drew them like jean shorts since that was the original intention but they could be cloth rather than denim gimme time to think about it 💀

I had a lot of trouble decided whether the thingies on her shoulders were stand-alone or like pieces of hair she keeps up front (probably attached cuz she’s a robot) I decided on making them attached to the bigger floor of hair cuz I thought it looked cutest on the pic with her shoulders up and in front of her face lol.

Onto her chest plate thing, I was considering making it an actual shirt but decided against it. I wanted her to have a crop top bc I love crop tops so I just made it so her chest area was painted like a shirt, and then her middle area was back to her “skin” color, so it’s almost like a crop top but not really…?

Last but not least is her face, I also made that her “skin” color and just put the blue and green as her cheeks! I thought it looked cutest that way. She also has heterochromia cuz when a character has two main colors I really enjoy putting them on opposite sides as often as possible haha. So her green cheek has her blue eye and her blue cheek has her green eye. I know her original model has two blue eyes but this was what I went with.

Anyways that was super long and I’m super nervous about posting this so I’m just gonna hit post and if I find a typo or decide my lil explanation was 4 paragraphs too many I’ll fix it later. Have a nice day whoever is still reading this! :>

#digital art #artwork #procreate #tsams earth #sams earth #art #fanart #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #sketches #sketch

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jadeespacey · 1 year ago

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(new Solarballs episode spoilers)

(Gotta Yap my opinion😭)

DANG THIS EPISODE IS 10 MINUTES LONG.. But anyway I love this episode! But for me though it's kinda..not that bad I guess because this episode has so much potential but it looks like it doesn't have good life to it for me.

BUT STILL I love this one! Still worth it for that 2 weeks wait.

Now look at these clown couples manipulating crap and misunderstanding stuff😭

(Insert Oberon in the background)

BUT THIS EPISODE IS SO SHOCKING.

I like how Titan finally accept that Earth changed and now protected him as he finally understand. This is kinda shocking if you ask as me.

Though Europa in the background when the others started protecting Earth at the second attack is funny asf LOOK AT HER

I LOVE THIS TRIO LOOK AT THEM❤

BLUD what are these 2 going on😭 these 2 finally be fighting meanwhile with Ganymede being stupid asf.

But to be honest am more concerned and disappointed that my expectations aren't here. Like the gas giants still went missing and we haven't seen the others for a long time. Though am expecting the sun too😞.

This episode had a big drama here yet a bit of life it's so easy of how it ended so probably why I don't like the episode that much but yeah it's still good.

But at least Pluto and Charon are back to help! They save the day! They even managed to convinced every other moons of how all of them are already equal yet different. (Well this sound stupid but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)

AWWW LOOK AT SATURN'S MOONS.. I hope to see more of them in the future! I heard the creator of SB is planning to put more characters outside of the solar system!

Am very excited REALLY.

And Neptunes moons though THEY'RE SO CUTE. Am happy it's not that big for the war zone to be that horrifying for them. they don't understand because they're just children.

AND I JUST LIKE EARTH AND MOONS FRIENDSHIP. they're brothers it's canon/hj

And LMAO EARTH CALLING MOON MOM?

But there's more pictures of what am going to say but tumblr limits the pictures of the new episode☹️ I won't blame them tbh it's a 10 minute episode IT'S SO LONG. yet I love it!

But am going to say my words for the other pictures of my opinion.

One. The episode of the moon revolution is done so easily. I was expecting it to be done in another way.

Two. I was expecting the drama to end but no there's more drama going on. There's a sequel and Ganymede is still planning to do something MORE STUPIDLY EVIL like what beef Ganymede and Europa had? WHAT??

Three. Even if the gas giants or the others aren't here at least Ceres came back! WOOO HE'S BACK more screen time for Ceres I guess.

Am excited to other new episodes for Solarballs now since the moon revolution ended. I guess they will go back to the education thing or other stuff. But am more excited for new future episodes too! Even the other celestial objects episode like outside of the solar system! THAT is the one am excited about after seeing the SB communication post on YouTube.

So this was a fun ep I love it.

#solarballs #solarballs rant

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jjba-personals · 7 months ago

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In Short (tl;dr): basically, yeah lmao So I guess a little history recap is in order: I didnt make this blog, I came in on the tail end of its active life around mid 2017 (Mod Akira), I made a few fun edits that got some attention here and there, but interest kinda fizzled out over time for reasons I'll explain in a sec. 2016 was a pretty big year, I'm sure you remember it. In addition to everything else, that was basically the year all the usual responsibilities in the adult world hit me all at once, and carried into the year following. If I remember right it was around late 2017 that the other mods all left for likely similar reasons, but I stuck around for another year. Even outside of personal stuff for the mods the following years were also about the time where gimmick blogs started to really wane in popularity. By 2018 there were still posts but then two major events happened that really killed it: -The Porn Ban of '18 sheared off a considerable amount of Tumblr's traffic with many rats users, including myself, running from one sinking ship and boarding the similarly ill-fated ship that was Twitter

and even if I'd stuck around

-Legislative crackdowns on human trafficking meant that Craigslist had to shut down their Personals section, and the gimmick twitter account we were largely relying upon to cherry pick interesting sections similarly ceased production

Even though I'd left Tumblr behind I never deleted my account, which was ultimately very convenient for when X burst out of Twitter's shambling husk like some parasitoid wasp prepupa. I came back a couple years ago and have just kept the keys to this blog in my back pocket. The sharp-eyed among you may have even seen the rare few times i reblogged something to here only to quickly delete it. So now here we are! In the present time, with all the hopes and anxieties that brings. Will you do anything with this blog moving forward?

Maybe. I'm open to suggestions. I dont really feel like handing it to someone else or deleting though. Maybe pivot to a different group of uniquely lonely hearts trying to find a connection. Do you still like JJBA? I'm not as big and enthusiastic a fan as I used to be but yeah, I still really love JoJo and I'm anxiously looking forward to finally FINALLY seeing part 7 in motion. I have little doubt that it'll look great, my fears lie mostly with Netflix after how they completely screwed over Part 6's distribution. My favorite part and they just threw it out into the air with little to no fanfare, shit sucks. Also it looks like Araki's age is finally starting to show, so hopefully he can finish Part 9 and live to see his magnum opus be completed. Why write all this crap? Because I love hearing myself talk Because even if nobody really gives a crap and the reasons for the lack of activity are fairly standard and predictable, transparency is just nice. As I get older I realize more and more that honesty really is the best policy, and theres a distinct lack of it in todays world. I'm nearly 27 now and I've contributed very little honesty to the world in that time, so an abandoned JJBA gimmick blog seems a good place as any to start.

#dont even know what to tag this really #I guess I couldve posted my personal blog to self promo but not only am i not interesting it'd also kinda undercut that last bit lol #mod akira

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chaifootsteps · 1 year ago

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Hey, so idk if you've known or touch this topic, but for a while crap kept coming up about how the animation industry is dominated by students who attended CalARTs. I've seen people call it the school disney created. A lot of people have said how unfair it is that all CalART alumni get first dibs into access into the industry. Now, when that issue was going on and was all over my tumblr dash I saw people say "I got hired cause I'm popular online!" And seeing people stress having an online portfolio accessible. Ok, here's what I want to bring up. Rebecca Sugar graduated from the school of visual arts. So, at the time people had said she got a "full ride" scholarship cause in hs she won so many contests and her stuff was being used in AP examples (for her art). I am aware that school is pricey, just Sugar was like the notable alumni that didn't go to CalARTs who had a successful show. Now, I will admit that I did see people shade Sugar for going to SVA (lmao, who cares), but you gotta admit, she did well. This is just theories, but I feel like those people we talk about, are just salty since they want to make it big like Becky. I didn't even know about Dana being an AH towards other students, and we've all seen how Viv treats people. Ok, sorry. Didn't want to do a weird rambling post. Just I feel like ever since SU people (graduates to clarify) feel like now SVA alumni should be big shots now. And you're so right. It's like a high-school drama in the industry.

I think, regardless of how everyone got where they are, Sugar's one of the good ones. Remember when she was getting absolutely abhorrent hatemail and her response was to make this?

youtube

Meanwhile, Vivzie likes tweets calling her critics "subhumans," frequently accuses anyone who doesn't like her show of being a homophobe, and looks the other way when her fans are throwing rape jokes at artists who do redesigns.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #rebecca sugar #video reply #actual blog post

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averageclawcodeenjoyer · 10 months ago

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Alright so as far as introductions go, I guess I should probably make one before I get too far into this.

HERES MY ABOUT ME POST!

My name's Leonardo, and you can call me any version of that that you want (Leo, Leon, Leonard, Nardo[my favorite], either way, it's all the same to me.) My pronouns are He/Him. I am an artist, author, animator, and a DEDICATED CLAWCODE ENTHUSIST (Hence the name)

I am also VERY autistic and don't get tone a lot, so tone tags are very important to me, especially when there's joking or sarcasm involved.

Ahem.

I know the Spiderverse Fandom isn't particularly alive (SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP) but I will try to post often, even if it's just a shitpost here and there. I really want to help feed into the ClawCode brain rot since the content for these two is SEVERELY FUCKING LACKING. So. If you have requests for things, I will probably end up doing them! My asks are always open, and I'd love to hear from anybody. I don't have any friends that love them the way that I do 😔😔

I have not had Tumblr before! Which is a little insane, so I'm new to all of this and learning how everything works. Please forgive me if I don't know the proper etiquette on this app lmao. My friend has been guiding me through all of this and told me to make an About Me post, so that's what I'm doing.

Here are some tags that will frequent my posts!

Yapping Hour - Will either be used for headcanons, or short stories/ideas/other ClawCode related crap. It's just going to be a general tag that will probably go on most of my posts from here on out.

Slur Gallery - Will be of the art I post of them, be it ship art or other :3 because everybody deserves a gallery of slurs to look at. AND JUST LOOK AT THEM!

Earworm - Is the tag I'll use when there's music involved, like songs that remind me of them (and the heavy analysis that goes with it **COMING SOON**), or animatics that I'm working on, or just anything that has to do with a song. Edits, artworks, the whole shebang.

Talkaholic - This will ALSO be used for mini stories/facfics, but more often than the yapping hour. So if you wanna read my writing of them that's what you can find it under.

Offline - will be under posts like these, where it isn't directly related to anything, just random blocks of text or other art that I feel like posting.

Oil And Water - THIS tag will be about the fanfic I am currently (excruciatingly slowly) writing! It doesn't have a happy ending and is meant to be a HEAVY angst story, like hurt/no comfort or very little comfort. I have one chapter out currently but will be working on more soon (and will make a separate post about it! But I will link it here as well. MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE IT /HJ)

Prowler Party - Is what I'll put on ALL of my posts as an extra way to help find me if one so desires d=(^o^)=b

OOC - On the chance that I might make something intentionally out of character, I will put this beneath it. I know a lot of people don't like mischaracterization, or incorrect portrayal of a character, but sometimes it's really fun to write, so I will be including that was well.

I think that's all that I can think of right now (I'm running off of an hour and 40 minutes sleep), but things may change or be edited in the future. But for now, I'll be signing off.

Shipwrecked - THIS WILL BE ABOUT MY SELKIE/SIREN AU BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY NOT OKAY ABOUT IT AND NEED TO SHARE MY INSANITY

HELLO AND THANK YOU TO THE WARM WELCOME I'VE RECIEVED!!

MORE COMIGN SOON

#about me post #introductory post #across the spiderverse #this blog is about the queers and the freaks ONLY /j #I don't know how to introduce myself #expecy more soon!#clawcode #clawcodenation #brain rot #Yapping Hour #Slur Gallery #Earworm #Talkaholic #Offline #ProwlerParty #OOC #Oil And Water #coming soon

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uzumaki-selfships · 29 days ago

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You're just a dumbass. A true dumbass if anyone, you should get a life, in love with a fictional character who doesn't exist, lmao. You were dropped on the head as a baby so many times for your brain to be fucked up.

You should touch grass because Geto will never be real, that's reality. Find a real lover. Or you will be forever alone and a dumbass retarded. Also you don't own him, he's owned by Gege Akutami. If he saw this, he would think the same, you're weird and dumb, would charge you of copyright for claiming HIS character is yours.

And frankly I hope he sees this, I can show your Tumblr via his X/Twitter so he can see how you are being a dumbass around his own character, I know Japanese so I can tell him.

let me guess, you’re the anon from earlier? now you’re just being a troll and i shouldn’t even answer this but i won’t let you get away with this.

there’s nothing wrong with people being in love with a fictional character. you don’t like it? then there’s a block button for a reason, use it.

while i know suguru isn’t real and never will be, i have genuine feelings for him and that’s okay. i have disorders and multiple diagnoses, (won’t get into that) which is keeping me from interacting / finding someone irl i might catch feelings for. so just telling someone to ”find” a real lover when you know NOTHING about that person is just rude.

I HAVE NEVER SAID I’VE OWNED him so i have no idea where you got that from. i have immense respect for Gege and his work, i would never claim his work as my own. i just happen to love a character he’s created and that’s fine. get a lesson in what copyright even means before spouting crap, it makes you look stupid.

trying to scare me are you? it’s not working. liking / loving characters in japan is fully normal so i doubt he’d care about my self shipping, Gege knows people simp regularly for his characters. Besides he’s got better things to do in his life. so quit this whole scaring thing while you’re ahead.

ps. the only dumbass here is you, sending hate to a person anonymously for no reason and using the word ’retarded’ as a slur, again. oh and before i forget, learn to be kind, costs nothing.

#asks 💌

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wolfwrenbrainrot · 1 year ago

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All the thoughts I ever had about SW ship wars from 2015 to 2023?? And why I ship Wolfwren I guess Idk

⚠️ DISCLAIMER ⚠️

I’ll be discussing the ship wars that are happening right now in the ahsoka fandom and compare it to how my perception about the fandom war that happened during the sequel era changed with the years). Oh, and I’m going to get into some tangencies that may not make much sense most of the time, so reading this to the end is on your own account. I ended up being a bit cynical too, but not in a mean way, I hope?

I usually give up everytime I start writing an opinion on tumblr, because most of the time I just think my opinion won’t change anything, but the ahsoka fandom got “revived” (not that it was dead, but, well, we haven’t had any new episodes and to an extent the most of us move on to others shows a little until we get new content, like it happened these last few days) and I’ve been thinking about this show all on my own for a while (my friends aren’t really into Star Wars stuff, so they can listen, but they’ll never GET IT like interacting with fans online will). I’m explaining myself too much, but all I mean by that is that by writing this, I don’t intend to add fuel to the fire. That’s why i won’t tag sab//ra, r//lo or mention the ships just because I don’t want to upset those of them that can have normal conversations about media nor trigger those that can’t (which, thankfully, doesn’t seem to apply to all sab//zras). So, if you don’t like Wolfwren, you’ll only see this if you are looking for a ship you don’t like or if you’re invested enough in not liking it to check the anti tag. I’m not judging, we all been there. In fact, I was there during the sequel era, with a ship that is pretty similar in dynamic to Wolfwren. It was also pretty similar to a ship I loved at the time, Catradora, from Netflix’s She’ra. So, yeah, I was a big hypocrite. I still kinda think sapphic enemies to lovers is the superior taste of the trope, but that’s because I’m so profoundly gay it would scare the gayest gay, so obviously the ships I’m more invested in are sapphic. It’s a given. But my point is, now I see the whole R//lo argument from a different angle, that you can disagree with, but I believe is more realistic:

I don’t ship it.

Although it is an illusion to believe our taste in fiction is not related to who we are as people (because blah blah blah capitalism blah blah blah I’m a commie), it is possible to distinguish what we want from two fiction characters and how we expect to meet our partners in real life lmao.

(This next part I’m a bit uncertain of how it’ll be perceived, but I hope it makes sense. Please, both R//los and antis that may or may not be reading this, be patient and try to understand what I’m trying to say.

Yes, Finn was casted aside by Lucasfilm. Yes, K//lo getting a more prominent role in the films played a part in this whole process. Yes, there was a part of the R//lo fandom that was racist to John Boyega. This is also true for the Star Wars fandom as a WHOLE, because there was plenty of shitty dudebros complaining about the same shit they’re complaining today, “woke culture” and all that crap, just because they decided to have a woman and a black man as the protagonists. A decision that most likely wasn’t made by those executives thinking: “Oh, wouldn’t it be so great if we made a few minorities feel seen in this universe many of them really love?”. But it did that.

The Force Awakens came out and, despite being, at the same time, a remake of A New Hope and a continuation of Return of the Jedi, its new characters had SO. MUCH. POTENTIAL. And, limitations imposed by mainstream products made by big corporations and set in galaxies far, far away from ours aside, black people and women felt represented. It is one of the many contradictions of symbolic effect of minorities groups being represented in media produced in the system that oppress them (commie, warned you). Does it change things? No, not really. Isn’t it usually done it a way full of limitations that sometimes reinforce certain ideas that are pretty harmful? Yeah… Kind of… But didn’t it feel great, after growing up frustrated that Leia wasn’t a Jedi in the old movies, to have Rey? Wasn’t it awesome that black people got Finn? This complex (at least, it started that way) defected stormtrooper turned rebel? That could, maybe, even be force sensitive…? Yes to all of those questions! Tricky, isn’t it? By the way, I do believe that (before TROS) Finn had the narrative placement of Han (reluctant hero), Poe had Leia’s (rebel leader that gets captured and literally puts important information in a droid lmao), Rey had Luke’s (lives a boring life but has a calling to the adventure blah blah blah becomes a hero, we all heard it so many times) and Kylo had Vader’s (villain that’ll eventually get redeemed by the hero). All basic, old hero’s journey. A story structure that, despite being critical of, I eat up every fucking time it envolves spaceships and lightsabers. Getting back to the point, representation has its limits but it matters and the Star Wars fandom is full of racist, sexist pieces of shit and there was a percentage of the R//lo fandom that were too. But shipping R//lo isn't, like, intrinsically racist. You can make an argument for the implications of Adam Driver being chosen as a romantic interest (both by many fans and by Lucasfilm) over John Boyega, but at the same time there is, to some degree a level of which trope (friends to lovers or enemies to lovers) attracts you more. For me, it depends. I was a Finnpoe with a soft spot for Finnrey and an anti R//lo. But I’m obsessed with Wolfwren. Guess I like non-menacing men and evil lesbians. Wonder why Ezra Bridger is my favorite Rebels character and I ship Wolfwren. 🤔

Going back to the “Opinion on R//lo checklist”:

Would I like to meet my future partner by being kidnaped? No, not really. Do R//lo shippers want that? I think it's pretty safe to say they don't, even if they joke about it as much as I do about wanting Shin Hati to stab me. Because, ohh, right, it's a fictional movie about spaceships, galatic wars and space wizards. Yeah, I totally forgot about that when I was younger.

So, shipping R//lo doesn't mean you condone abusive relationships or domestic violence or whatever. Same applies to Wolfwren. ‘Cause, like, they aren't in a relationship yet, they’re not even friends or allies… They're on opposite sides of a war. You’re supposed to try to kill each other. Some people are just intrigued by the tension/dynamic between two characters and some others are just attracted to the characters and want to read about them fucking, and if it upsets you enough that you need to try to annoy people into stop shipping it… you need to rethink your relationship with fiction. I’m saying this because I had to do it, too. I went on with the mob and statements I agree to this day got mixed up with a bunch of nonsense and I thought that by being anti R//ylo I was making a statement, I was fighting against the romanticization of toxic relationships. I wasn't. It’s like that Luca Guadagnino’s film, “Bones and all”. Canibalism as a metaphor for love has been explored in multiple ways, by multiple artists in paintings, films, novels… Does it mean all the people who produced and consumed those works want to eat human flesh?

There’s also different ways of shipping an ETL ship. I love Wolfwren, and, in fanon, I don't mind it getting super angsty and fucked up, Killing Eve style, but I also love it when it's a slowburn romance with them going from enemies to reluctant allies to slowly building a friendship and falling in love. Do you see the range? Shipping is also about imagination, about overanalyzing things, about wondering what could character x possibly bring to character y? If Wolfwren ever does become canon, my perfect scenario would be the slowburn one, though I’ll love every second of them fighting and stare into each other's eyes until then.

If you ship S/b/rza, it doesn't mean you're homophobic. Unless you, well, use homophobic rhetoric to hate on Wolfwren and/or its shippers. This homophobic rhetoric can also be an attempt of being (hate to use this word) “woker” than the person shipping a gay ship and saying the queer people shipping Shin and Sabine are actually reinforcing lesbian stereotypes. Triste me when this is not the hot take you seem to think it. Maybe try researching a bit about queer representation in media, queercoding and the hays code era. Or try to put yourself in our shoes. As I stated above, representation has its limits but it matters and increases our ability to connect to the pieces of fiction we're consuming. In my case, as much as I can enjoy it, there's always gonna be a degree of alienation when it comes to “straight people media”. That's why I headcanon characters as sapphic. Because I am. That's why autistic people headcanon characters as being autistic. Same goes for trans people and other minority groups that do the same. So, in the end, it doesn't really need to be canon and even after today I’m still not that hopeful, ‘cause, again, it's Disney. If anything, there's always a possibility that, if Shin lives, she ends up being paired up with a random dude just so people can't call her a lesbian (this has never, ever, stopped a lesbian before tho lol). I'm guessing whatever happens with Wolfwren won't affect what happens to S/b/rza. I may be proven wrong in the future but I think they closed that door in the show, at least for now. Filoni doesn't seem that interested in writing romance to me, especially this time around. We are yet to see physical or romantic attraction being even remotely alluded to in this show. (S/b/rzas interpretation of Sabine's motivation to find Ezra or my interpretation of the tension between Shin and Sabine doesn't change that). It's a pretty sexless show (and I’m not saying they should have explicit sex on a Star Wars show, but George Lucas didn't shy away from romance and showcasing attraction and romantic love). I believe that's why he made sure to “discard” S/b/rza, despiste knowing it was a relatively popular ship in the Rebels fandom (obviously it doesn't stop anyone from shipping it, but it is an indicative of how Filoni intended us to perceive their dynamic). You know what I mean? Wolfwren happening or not, being or not supported by the cast and crew, doesn't change anything for your ship. And to be really honest, it is kind of funny to me that some people feel threatened by Wolfwren. ‘Cause, like, even if Filoni wants to make it canon, in the end it will be up to Lucasfilm and Disney to allow it or not and the best they gave us so far is Velcinta in Andor. Do you truly believe we have a better chance at getting our endgame than you do? Come on, guys. Please. I don't think any of us will, just to be clear, but even if Wolfwrens “win” this ship war, it won't be like some injustice or disrespect towards the s/b/rza fandom. Same goes for s/b/rza, because unlike Poe x Zorrii that was a last minute, pulled of their ass straight romance that only existed to send the very clear message that Poe Dameron is a heterossexual man (lol, he isn't). Ezra and Sabine do have a history together that I see as platonic but can be interpreted as romantic. And you will still be able to ship it, even if Sabine ends up with Shin. That's why fanfiction exist. If she ends up with Ezra, I’ll keep reading my Wolfwren fanfics and be happy with it. At the end of the day, it's just fiction. I care enough about it to write a long ass Tumblr post, but not to make me actually upset over a relationship that isn't my own.

#wolfwren #anti wolfwren

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