#my truest self is deeply hidden

[murakamijeva-muza]

"When you feel my heat, look into my eyes It's where my demons hide It's where my demons hide Don't get too close, it's dark inside It's where my demons hide It's where my demons hide"

[astralprisms]

@seynne, thank you for these! My ask box should now actually be open if anyone is trying to send messages. I forget it's not on by default. From the Weirdly Specific Questions list

How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

I don't think that Xa'rok is intentionally deceptive about their emotions, but they are hard to read if you don't know them well. If asked directly and divulging doesn't put them or those they care about in danger, they would be honest about what they're feeling, but there are some things they prefer to keep to themselves. Persuasion and Deception are their particular skill avenues of choice, and so they're fairly aware of what they are presenting to the world and what effect it might have/what effect they might want it to have (either on the audience as a bard, in concert, or in their line of work as a convincing public speaker), so they're very adept at managing a crowd's expectations and emotions; a skill I can only assume they continue to excel at as an illithid.

Being so in tune with their emotions and how they are perceived does make it easy for them to hide what they want to keep hidden, though, should they choose to do so.

What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone?

This answer varies over different parts of their life.

I think they prefer to present as someone who has their shit together, and prefer to reserve their doubts for close friends and quiet moments. They can let their guard down around certain people, in certain places, and elsewhere they remain vigilant for threats and show little weakness. Most of this attitude was borne out of necessity: life in their northern creche was often harsh, uncompromising, and despite the insistence on training in units, incredibly solitary. But they are social by nature and deeply curious. They long for connection and take joy in finding it. They love to talk, and take pleasure in an audience. They are at their best when connecting with others, and find the psionic boost from the tadpole, and later, illithidom, a boon. To touch someone's thoughts and know their mind makes making those connections easier.

At 'work' they are by turns diplomatic and charismatic. They have spent a long time learning how to read a room and how best to construct a narrative or a story or a song to capture its occupants' attention. In front of a listening crowd, they are in their element. But they are aware of their charm and can be impulsive in its application. While they usually know when to drop the performance, there are times where their persuasive public-speaking persona will take over and they can become a little too pushy or manipulative. Their good friends will tell them to stop or remind them to mind their manners.

At home and alone is where they truly put all the performative parts of themself away and just allow themself to be. This becomes even more important once they go full illithid and get over the (very arduous) hurdle of readjusting to their new form. The Emperor was correct: home is where one can be their truest self, without guile, without pretense.

When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

Failing to live up to expectations. These are largely internally set expectations and thus hard to gauge from someone else's perspective. But they take pride in being able to perform to the best of their ability, whether in their line of work, in their playing, in battle, or in following through on a task they have been given or accepted for themself. Falling short of those expectations really stresses them out. They work doubly hard to make up for it, and sometimes injure themself as a result.

What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

For someone whose life's mission is to unpack cultural biases, Xa'rok is certainly not immune to perpetuating some of their own. They have long sought to be open-minded but they still find themself falling into old patterns of thinking reflexively. Mostly this tends to resolve itself in "your experience is not universal" type situations. Surely all children are exposed to the harsh and uncompromising trial of combat. Solo survival training is a common rite of passage for everyone before a certain growth milestone. That sort of thing. Growing up in the far north, they are resistant to and unbothered by deep cold and harsh winters, and so they are continually perplexed by anyone who cannot stand the cold. They find gender and its societal constraints a perplexing and unfathomable puzzle. They actively work to take their own missteps in stride and find no weakness in admitting they may have been wrong about something to which they have not had enough exposure to to know otherwise.

[emergingsentiments]

Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha: Episode 10 (Repost)

Loneliness must have drawn you back here, says Hwajung to Chohui. But these could have been words for Dusik and Hyejin, too. The past and current entanglements of Gongjin’s love affairs, after all, run parallel to each other. For Chohui, her mother’s death and her brother’s migration left her solitary, so it only seemed natural to return to somewhere familiar. Hyejin, on the other hand, visited the seaside town to reclaim the memory of happier times, when her mother was still alive. Dusik’s reasons are still obscured but the glimpses into the wakes he’s stood vigil by are compelling reasons behind his return.

Home, as I observed in the first episode of Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, is where the heart is and the hurts are.

Episode 10 unfolded like the turning point that it is. As the previous chapters tackled the inner workings of all our characters, especially the progress of Hyejin and Dusik both as individuals and in their romantic engagements, we saw how people began to confront their fears. Whether it’s Cheonjae’s anxieties as a has-been singer and as a single father to a rebellious Juri or Gamri’s quiet suffering in her empty nest, the melancholy that undergirds the town’s surface pushed each one to face their scars and losses. For all the comic relief she brings, even Miseon had to brave confusion and rejection.

In this page of Gongjin’s tale, however, the theme of battling life’s greatest antagonist is truest among Dusik, Hyejin, and Seonghyun.

Poor Seonghyun, so new to the town yet so quick to have been thrown into the maelstrom of Gongjin’s charms and tragedies. His greatest fear was being late. He missed opportunities before, including in the postcard-perfect moments of his youth. Always an observer but never the one observed; always watching over Hyejin but always a step behind others in the line. If he were dancing, he’d be out of rhythm, too busy trying to memorize the choreography.

He has rehearsed his lines a thousand times. Will they come out right? Here, Lee Sang-yi gives Seonghyun his most graceful and yet graceless moment. Making an abrupt u-turn on his way to Seoul, he returns to Gongjin — late once again. Hyejin, attacked by a wandering sexual predator in town, has been saved by Dusik. If the shock of the night’s crime were not enough, he confesses the next evening to a Hyejin that had just mistakenly implied her growing affections for Dusik. She’s just had dinner, too.

Full and formal, Hyejin listens to Seonghyun’s lonely and tense confession. Sangyi delivers the lines Seonghyun has held onto for years. It’s a speech marked by jitters, fretful glances, and a slowly growing blush. Once out, he tries to stop the tension by marking the scene as a take. But the clapperboard humor isn’t enough. Hyejin watches him eat alone. She has no appetite.

Hyejin, for her part, couldn’t be blamed. She never really saw Seonghyun other than a senior to be admired. Yes, he’s saved her from a jerk before. But years of absence have made the heart grow duller instead of fonder. She’s also just come from an equally awkward dinner with Dusik, who is celebrating his grandfather’s death anniversary. There is no room for another meal. The night before — the night of the attack — she had slept in Dusik’s home for the third time as well.

At the first visit to his home, she kissed Mr. Hong on impulse and alcohol. On the second, she carried the weight and fears of an inebriated Dusik. On the third visit, she is traumatized from the night’s break-in, so now slips in to Mr. Hong’s clothes and stays over, unable to sleep unless Dusik’s around with poetry. He reads to her...It is my job to fall in love with you while waiting for you the next day. The antidote to Hyejin’s fear, after all, is Gongjin’s son.

But what does Hyejin fear? Well, it’s simple. She fears what she lost — her childhood, to be who she is. As a young girl who lost her mother, she had to grow up fast given her father’s alcohol-tinged coping mechanism. As a young woman, she had to build walls after a harsh rebuke of her lowly appearance. So she covers her scars with pretenses — and fancy shoes. Her clothes are her walls. Her life has been planned out. She steers this career with distinct professionalism and ambition. But it’s never ruthless. A woman-child, her core reveals a soft, compassionate heart.

This is what Dusik brings out in her. It’s not something Dusik necessarily gives. The two, after all, have their losses but they are whole persons, too. Dusik’s unconventional lifestyle and ways have eroded the surface of Hyejin’s fortress. Like salted sea slowly breaking down cliffs. With Dusik, she regains the lost child, the one who laughs when pieces of crab meat are flung to Dusik’s face. If that was Seonghyun, Hyejin would have been profusely apologetic and formal. But Mr. Hong is different. Around him, Hyejin can be unguarded, vulnerable.

Dusik, on the other hand, always saw her in a different light. Carrying the weight of unexplained grief, Dusik knows exactly what’s hidden behind Hyejin’s front. But for all his bravado, he’s afraid, too. The people he loved the most have left him, leaving him with an unimaginable sense of guilt. It’s what keeps him tethered to the idea of boundaries. He only likes Hyejin as a friend. But his eyes, his actions — they speak otherwise. If he admits to loving Hyejin, then the prospect of fresh losses cripple him. He’s an engineering graduate, so he has made the calculations. And yet, this strange woman who has returned from a childhood memory is urging him to take those risks and forget those probabilities.

He took a stab on the shoulder, one that nearly cost his life. Isn’t that love — or even the semblance of it? Why does Dusik need to certify his affections with assurance? Gamri, Gonjin’s wisest daughter, sees through Dusik’s barricades. Life’s brevity, she says, demands risks but most of all, honesty with oneself.

These are words worth ruminating in the evening breeze at the town’s breakwater.

It’s the same place where Hyejin finds him.

After a trip to Seoul to forget the town’s powers over her and Miseon, she realizes the city’s offerings were no longer attractive. Everything reminds her of Gongjin. She can’t stop thinking of Dusik. As a grown-up, Hyejin had sought security. Her instinct of self-preservation made her hard. Drenched in a sudden downpour in Seoul, she remembers her rain-soaked self with Dusik at the beach. It is enough for her to understand.

These realizations surge from Hyejin’s adrenaline-filled confession. Unable to deny her growing affections any further, she takes the plunge.

The child faces reality with simple acceptance. In the presence of a vulnerable Hyejin, things freely move and are themselves. The effects are immediately clear. Like any sensible woman, Hyejin knows Dusik could all but reject him, too. Who drives back from Seoul to rant about love, right? But Dusik understands. The hours waiting for her return were sooner than he had anticipated. But the man had made his calculations. The formulas are no longer useful.

True to himself, Dusik fulfills his new duty. It is my job to fall in love with you while waiting for you the next day. So he returns the confession with the most reasonable declaration: a kiss, first tender, one that leaves Hyejin breathless. He speaks but yearns for more. So he lets his lips touch hers for a second time. A kiss now free from all the tentativeness of the night.

A few weeks ago I read several criticisms about Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha. It’s cliched. People only watch it because the actors are popular. There’s nothing exceptional about a love story.

Cliched, true. But there is a reason why there are cliches because they are true. Do people only watch because the actors are popular? Perhaps. Perhaps not. A love story doesn’t hold a candle to the more intellectual and uncomfortable narratives available for consumption, right? You know, the stories that deal with war and violence, politics and its lack of virtue, the more profound tales that explore humanity or its degradation. But I fear this is an effort to leave the commonplace, the domestic, and the personal materials unattended for the sake of what seems profound. Yet, the production of these “better” and more profound stories does not offer any solace from suffering.

For over a year now, we’ve been fighting the wrath of an invisible virus. It might even be true to say that for many of us, we’ve lost someone dear, someone deeply loved. If not, we know someone who has dealt with these losses. Given the lockdowns and restrictions, even grieving has been abbreviated. Our reality is sobering. We fear many things. So while I don’t hold it against people to choose the more elevated tales, it would be a shame to dismiss those who gush over a love story as uncritical and frivolous.

Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha resonates with and appeals to many because it reminds us of the things we’ve lost to the pandemic. Face-to-face conversations. The stability of a job. Family. Friendship. The pat on the back. Our grandparents. Our first love. A hand to hold. Dinner with friends under the warmth of incandescent light. Office conversations. Senseless chatter. The thrill of falling in love. The smell of the sea, and the sand on our feet. Our best friend. The normalcy of a leisurely walk. Dancing in the rain. People. Our community. The words we wanted to say. A kiss.

In a world where physical intimacy and closeness are dangerous, we feel our lips with our fingers watching Hyejun and Dusik kiss. And we remember the way we were. Kim Seon Ho was right in saying Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha is a healing drama. To love and be loved, after all, remains the ultimate catharsis.

[seance]

jatp as bodies of water

a character analysis based on this gifset.

first of all, a disclaimer: this was just me and @snakebitescar having fun , we perfectly know this is still a kid show and it’s not that deep™ but i, personally, find this type of speculations really interesting. kinda all or nothing, you know? i don’t usually dwell on more superficial hcs because i’m drawn to this kind of symbolism the most. that said we just thought we share, no pressure to rb or anything. i apologize for the small text but this got long i don’t want to spam anyone’s dash too much. 

luke as the ocean

I purposefully chose to use not just any view of the ocean, but a glimpse of a stormy one. What makes it so fitting in my eyes is that the ocean, by its nature, is limitless and unknowable but it’s not deceiving in any way. It’s powerful and overpowering but it appears as it is: vast and full of hidden depths.

Luke’s greatest strength is his energy, his uncompromising passion, his determination, his willingness to risk it all for what he believes in and for the people he loves. He needs to always be in motion, he needs to know he’s moving forward, towards something greater, something that will make every sacrifice and every loss worth it. Behind every gesture, every word, every action there’s something more, something deeper (like a wound that never really closed, an unfathomable regret, a simmering anger sparked by the betrayal of a friend).

He doesn’t really hide who he is or what he thinks but he will always, like the ocean, keep surprising those around him with new aspects of his exuberance, his creativity, his sociability. Just like the ocean, bound by no borders, Luke is free to be everything at once.

reggie as the lake

The lake can be peaceful and embracing or brooding and stagnant. It’s the only body of water that doesn’t flow somewhere, it appears motionless on the surface but in reality it hides dangerous underwater currents, unpredictable whirlpools and often deadly murky terrains.

Lakes represent the need for security, they are places of painful transformations, both cradle and trap. Basing some of our assumption on Luke’s words about Reggie’s less than ideal home-life, the parallel between the lake’s dual nature and how he expresses (or rather suppresses) his emotions came naturally. One of the main differences between Reggie and everyone else is that he’s never confrontational. He always works towards de-escalating the situation, he’s probably used to conceal any negative emotion to not add fuel to the fire, he tends to always follow and never lead.

This doesn’t mean he feels less than everybody else, every now and then those very emotions he tries so hard to control shine through and we see how actually scared he is, how he craves stability and security. He dreads any changes that have to do with the unknown or the possibility of his support system failing (“Do we all still get to hang out together?”) Just like the lake he’s both still and turbulent, constantly edging between relying on what is safe or taking the odd risk.

alex as the river

Alex was maybe the most complex to analyze out of the four of them. I’m a firm believer that anyone is entitled to their own headcanons and their own interpretation of a character but I must admit, I can’t really get behind some fandom takes that systematically reduce Reggie to his goofy side or Alex to his anxiety because as I see it, they both hold so much potential.

Rivers are an indomitable force. They flow for miles, from mountain to sea, sometimes dwindling but never drying up completely. They dig their way forward and they endure. Rivers are symbols of sensitivity and empathy but they can also be forceful and overflowing, almost too much to bear all at once.

Alex is highly emotional, for better or worse that’s what makes him such an interesting character. He’s not just his anxiety but he’s always straightforward about his emotions and his thoughts. Unlike Reggie we often see him question Luke’s opinion, he doesn’t shy away from commenting on the current situation, if he’s feeling anxious or happy or sad or angry he’s open about it, he wants the others to know.

Alex had to hide a big part of his identity for we don’t know how long and that surely played its part in worsening his fears but what we do know is that he had the courage to come out and live his truth, despite the negative outcome. When he decides to do something he pours all of himself into it, he’s proactive, he’s honest (sometimes too honest), he’s afraid of change but still faces it head first.

Just like a river plunges through deep ravines and spreads out over wide planes, he can act as a leading force if needed, making others see things from a different perspective (him talking to Julie about the Patterson, for example). He’s captivating and intense, Willie fell for him deep and fast and vice versa. Alex immediately offered the truest form of himself (his interest and his awkwardness and his anxiety) with no compromise. That’s part of the reason Willie’s betrayal stung so much I believe (“I thought we were having fun together” meaning Alex never thought of acting any differently from who he really is, what he was putting on the table was his raw and flawed self and Willie’s hesitation felt like a rejection).

Just like the river, Alex is committed and open about where he comes from and where he’s going.

julie as the waterfall

While every other body of water is somehow linked to the imaginary of life and death (the ocean gave us life but it can take it back just as easily, the river mythologically represents the boundaries between the two worlds, lakes are the dwelling places of monsters or other insidious creatures) waterfalls are usually seen as magical elements. They’re young, fresh, unafraid and most importantly, alive. They represent the calling for adventure, the restlessness that comes from wanting to always try new things, to explore your own potential.

Julie, above all, is her own character. All her relationships are deeply meaningful but they just add to an already strong identity. She’s energetic and she’s resourceful and she’s strong in the truest sense of the term because she isn’t afraid to hurt or to admit her limits (“I tried for mom, for you, even for me. I’m tired”). Julie is the main engine of the entire narrative because she represents, quite literally, the life force of the band. She doesn’t just go along with their wishes, she finds a balance with the boys and she isn’t afraid to call it quits when her trust is betrayed, she’s their equal in all things and she inspires respect.

Just like the waterfall rushes down perilously from any height, Julie launches herself in the new possibilities the band has to offer, she claws her way out of her grief and she gets involved without sparing herself. She’s eager, she’s passionate and she’s creative and she always has a new input to offer.

[slowlyteenagestarlight]

Namaste 🙏🏽🙏🙏🏻🎼😉. An awareness years screeching from a futures past, yet to be experienced or remembered. Figuratively injoing this Avenue of consciousness via cellular levels Of Appreciation. Incrementally of course, this one tear shook the very fabric of a gift promised to my right now Eye Am. Since waking up the lions of life and sleepers of hope, constructively now, to travel further With the ethereal kinetically flowing liquid Is-ness. Not out-thinking the hearts mind is refreshing as living one’s consciousness with the children of the Oceans carefree waves of knowing. This new conjunction of phraseology “ Overstanding “ and “Overstood” pushes freedoms frequencies beyond Leveling up or out towards any idea of “ plateaus “ That imaginary “ reality that actually exists, is deeply connected with love’s imaginative heart mind. That…? My Star family is real. So many tears of happiness with the children of Christ Consciousness. Few have wondered why so many of ewe/you could not hear/here/here’re them screaming for mommy and daddy’s protective arms.[?] Then Gabriel answered that this signature frequency of love had been silenced by the technology of television programming/telephone/falsified imagery of this World hidden in front of tears. Terra’s cries for help has been heard and answered. The leftovers from Ignorance refuse to leave or are even convinced they’ve been defeated. The optics are left for those stagnant mommies and daddies who still wear the Blindfolds of fear of / for admitting the mistakes that were made. Unfortunately there’s nothing to blame so persistent are the egos of humanity, they only talk At one another. Not once has anyone ever asked for Why? Only responsible is that everyone has been used and lied to. Unlearning how to forgive your self Is one of the most beautiful, important difficult war to let go of. Eye must thank everyone and anyone, anybody for doing their own very best at being of service for others. And to those who are still in service for self…? what awaits is another opportunity To unlearn those lessons of learning. Remember having a kinder heart is the only truest form of religion. Leave the titles, names and designated offices out of your/Ewer next class. Remain Excellent and in service for others. Namaste 🙏🏻.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Planetary Pantheon

Before I even get into this post, I need to highlight that it's going to be very subjective. (I mean mostly all witchcraft posts are subjective and keep that in mind no matter what information you read).

I am a witch that built their practice from the foundation of nature and I am sharing my personal pantheon with you all. Being nomadic and of mixed heritage I formed relationships with entities and energies from a genderless and universal perspective. Though a lot of planets may have links to mythologies based in greek, roman or in some cases indigenous beliefs, I do take some of those qualities into consideration, but the 12 major celestial bodies I honor more so embody those qualities like divine universal archetypes that we can find within ourselves (with our star charts to map how those qualities are expressed in us) and each one has many facets to them.

I am hoping that sharing this you can see how I relate to different energies of the universe and divine archetypes without a gender binary and also exploring energy in more depths within what the 4 elements can express. (Planets have their own signature energy but often if they are expressed through the 4 elements it’s through their transits and some transits are more harmonious than others.) 

This post will also look into the relationship between higher octave and lower octave celestial bodies. Some minor planets also have importance to me as they may express our methods or desires to act out on our values. I see asteroids as guides to helping us unlock our inner abilities (it's nice that most of their glyphs are keys!) so they may not have as much weight as the 12 major celestial bodies but they can be helpful guides. Though I wrote a general reasoning of why I have paired them with each planet, also note that asteroids show us weaknesses in those areas as well. Asteroids highlight our methods to achieving our values yet also can show where we may be our own obstacle to those achievements. However if you feel distant from a planet or want to channel more of that planet's energy your way, working with the asteroids as a guide can help you work on those areas of yourself and open you up to that connection to the larger planet assigned.

Additional Notes: Colorology is also very subjective and for each 12 major celestial body I have assigned a specific color out of 12 for them. This does not correspond to their zodiac sign which I would have a different color for. Though I feel like planets can have bigger affects on some signs, like a representative, they are not the same nor are their elements. 

Order: Sun, Moon, Earth, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Chiron, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto

-Luminaries-

The Sun ☉ 

Colors: Yellow and Gold Zodiac: Leo Element: Light and Creation

Entity of Light, Vitality, Life, Inner Faith (honoring and following your light) and Creation

Frequency + Meditation: Sound of the Sun Frequency Sun Meditation Solar Plexus Meditation Faith Meditation Raise Positive Vibrations

Channeling the Sun: The Sun gives us the gift of light, power and vitality. In our charts our Sun signs describe our constant nature from the truest parts of ourselves. It's our inner light that guides us on the path of life. It also describes how we feel vital or powerful in life and the embodiment of our egos. Channeling the Sun can help us connect to these parts of ourselves that make life worth living. When you are feeling low or sluggish, solar magic or channeling the Sun can help boost your energy and mood over time. Working with the Sun can help witches that often struggle with melancholy as the path of the Sun can help alight what makes them feel whole and alive. (If there are obstacles in the way of that, Mars can help instead but more on that in the Mars section). Solar Magic is great for boosting our energy levels which helps in energy work and our general magical performance. The sun also influences our seasons and even the 'themes' we work through monthly as it transits the Zodiac cycle. Therefore celebrating the seasonal Sabbats or the zodiac seasons is a form of channeling the Sun and honoring that energy. Elements that are great for channeling the Sun in magic are: Light Magic, Fire Magic (as Fire gives off light and the Sun is a big ole ball of gas on fire), Manifesting and Creating (whether that be through art or any other means), Self Love Magic, Yoga and other exercises moving energy around the body, Fire Breaths and Sun Bathing

Minor Celestial Guide: Apollo #1862 The asteroid Apollo, being the light bringer, can show us how we inspire and lead others with our natural gifts. Working with Apollo can help us understand how we can lead and be loved by others, where our past experiences and application of intelligence can inspire the masses. Apollo's placement also can tell you about that mysterious 'glow' some people (or maybe even you!) have. Like all minor celestial bodies like asteroids, Apollo has it's aspects that show us our shadows as well. Apollo can also show where we can take our gifts for granted, or where we could be centered around selfishness, where we are in danger of conceit and how we may become power hungry. However Asteroids want to highlight our methods and ways of understanding all parts of our inner selves and how we go about achieving our goals. Understanding this aspect in Apollo can help us to keep these aspects in balance so that we may achieve the love and recognition we deserve without becoming imbalanced with our conceit. Additionally working with Apollo can help us connect better to the energy of the Sun, especially if we are feeling under appreciated, shy or unrecognized. Especially for those who may have Chiron in Leo, working with Apollo can be of great benefit. Apollo's Chariot will inspire you toward developing your own vocation and creativity.

Solar Magic Tools: Gold or Yellow Altar Cloth, Yellow candles, fairy lights, citrine, orange calcite, yellow calcite, sunstone, st. johns wort, rhodiola (if you are on anti depressants, avoid consuming these), solar flower essences, Salt Lamps

___________________________________ The Moon  ☽

Colors: Silver and Gray Zodiac: Cancer Element: Shadows and Reflection 

Entity of Reflection, Introspection, Emotions, Inner Shadows and Darkness

Frequency + Music: Frequency of the Moon Moon Theta Frequency Release Emotional Blockages Meditation Heal Emotional and Physical Pain Meditation Release Stress and Inner Conflict Shadow Work Meditation

Channeling the Moon: Where as the Sun brings the day, the Moon is the night. The moon is an entity of reflections and shadows since it acts like a silver mirror showing us a portal into our emotions, into our inner worlds and hidden darkness. Without light (the sun) there is no reflection and with light comes shadow. The moon embodies both of these qualities as it goes through it's many phases in order to connect us with our emotions. When the moon transits through the signs, it brings up any emotions hidden or known to the surface of the house that sign sits in. It offers us reflection or a moment to dive into our shadows and recognize hidden feelings that could be absorbed into our shadow selves. Often you do not have to try hard to channel the moon. As the moon controls the tides and influences gravity, the moon often will Channel you first. When the moon is full it's fully reflecting the light of the sun like a giant mirror and this grand opposition is the time of the month where we each have a moment to reflect on our emotions and the needs our emotions want to be met (or else the full moon often brings up volatile feelings and surprising behaviors to the surface.) Elements that are great for channeling the Moon in magic are: Water Magic as water is also emotional and can either reflect light as well as mask the endless abyss underneath it's surface (also Water can reflect the vibrational essence and light of the moon making it Moon Water). Shadow work, Moon bathing, Music and Dance.  

Minor Celestial Guide: Black Moon Lilith  Black Moon Lilith is a point (the moon is cool like that and many mathematical points in it's orbit influence our charts like the north and south nodes.) Lilith shows where our emotions can be repressed as well as deeper desires we may shun due to it being selfish or taboo. The Black Moon can literally describe our shadow selves yet working with this energy can help you understand your emotions on a deeper level and work to balance them out and their needs instead of hiding them in the pits of your personal underworld (for them to lash out when the pressure gets too high). In many cases Lilith shows us where we may have felt ashamed, shamed, ridiculed, stifled, deeply misunderstood, or repressed in some manner. For whatever reason, you are wary of expressing those traits or parts of your personality freely and unapologetically, and you can feel quite uncomfortable with people who are doing so. Where Lilith is can also create a binging and purging cycle where we reject or deprive ourselves of these traits. Eventually, the need for them is strong and we go to extremes again, perpetuating this self-destructive cycle. However instead of harming ourselves emotionally, we need to learn to accept these traits in ourselves and express them in ways that we’ve transformed or made to fit our lives without fear or guilt. We may have too-high expectations of ourselves in these areas, and we can convince ourselves we don’t care. It’s difficult to go there since fear and shame can be mixed in, but it’s also empowering. Shadow work can help with this, and by understanding and working with your Lilith, you can better connect to your moon sign and the energies of the Moon.

Higher Planet: Chiron Where the moon reveals and reflects, Chiron turns the poison into medicine and heals.

Lunar Magic Tools: Silver, Gray or Black Altar Cloth, Black mirror, chalice or bowl for moonwater, Silver tools, white, gray or silver candles (black candles for shadow work or new moon), selenite, moonstone, howlite, pinolith, Angel Aura Quartz,

__________________________________________ The Earth  ⊕

Color: Green Zodiac: Taurus Element: Earth and Plants

Entity of Growth, Progression (stepping into ourselves and our paths), Nurturing, Fertility and blooming

Frequency + Music: Earth’s Frequency Earth’s Vibrational Frequency Earth Resonance Meditation Heart Chakra Opening Meditation Music for Plants Gaia’s Healing Frequency Manifest of Destiny Meditation

Channeling the Earth: The Earth is one of the most important entities in witchcraft for it's the foundation and life force that we draw from in order to grow, exist in this form and understand our purpose and life path. To connect with the earth you can channel Gaia's energy through green magic, exercises in grounding, standing barefoot on the earth or working with plants. Through astrology you can connect to the Earth through your rising signs and by understanding your houses. The earth gives us the structure and frame to grow and in Astrology it gives our starcharts the structure of houses to understand the context of the other planets through. (That's why it's important to know what time you are born and where in order to get your houses. Also Earth's glyph and the rising sign Glyph are highly similar. ⊕ and 🜔) Plants also have a lot of magical properties to help us heal, grow and even fly to other realms in order to gain better perspectives on our path. Channel the Earth when you need to feel grounded, reminded of your purpose here and to connect to divine nurturing forces. Show love and gratitude for the Earth by nurturing back, cleaning up environments, limiting waste and by harassing and hexing mega rich corporations ravaging the planet. Elements that are great for channeling the Earth in magic are: Green Magic, Cannibis Magic (I mean a form of green magic really), Plant hedgewitchery (using plants or other natural entities as guides to other realms within the Earth like mushrooms, mandrake, mugwort etc), Green Kitchen Witchcraft, working with spirits of nature, tasseomancy, Druidery

Minor Celestial Guide: Ceres  Ceres is also known as Earth's Mother and is the force of nurture in your chart. Ceres can represent how we love, comfort and nurture others and what makes us feel secure and protected. Ceres can help us connect to the Earth's energy by recognizing what makes us feel safe and nurtured and how we can use our methods to nurture the Earth and each other. Ceres being a minor celestial body also has the shadow side which shows our insecurities. Ceres can also show how we may feel emotionally neglected or grieve that loss of nurturing love. With these dark sides highlighted we can find our way to heal and re-balance that energy in order to better reconnect with the Earth and use that connection positively.

Higher Planet: Haumea Where the Earth grows and nurtures, Haumea brings fertility, community through abundance and birth for the collective to benefit from. 

Earth Magic Tools: Green Altar Cloth, A Ceremonial Sickle, Serpentine, Malachite, Jade, Aventurine, Moss Agate, Plant familiars, minerals, green colored candles

=============================

Inner Personal Planets:

Mercury  ☿

Colors: Blue -especially light blue tones Zodiac: Gemini Element: Air 

Entity of wisdom, communication, messages, air and mental connection

Frequencies + Meditation: Frequency of Mercury Throat Energy Meditation  Throat Energy Balancing Cognition Enhancer, Deep Focus and Memory Meditation Alpha Waves - Improve Memory Meditation

Channeling Mercury: Channeling Mercury helps to bring awareness to your mind, open you to new ideas, new areas of learning, improve your communication and connection to those of like mind. Mercury embodies the spirit of air and loves exchanging information and learning new things. Mercury is a practical planet that loves to help in areas of study or in professions revolving around communications and spreading the word. Mercury also helps with travel and speed so it's great to evoke if you are running a little late (unless it's in retrograde then forget it), or if you need to find a good travel deal. As Mercury is the entity of messages with air being it's primary element, Mercury rules sound. You can channel mercury through sound meditation or use that energy to channel new ideas or explore your thoughts through meditative frequencies. Channel mercury when you need to get a message out, if you need to connect with partners or institutions to collaborate an idea with or if you need help communicating your ideas into reality (whether that be more metaphorical or physical like writing ideas into a book etc.) Elements that are great for channeling Mercury in magic are: Air and Wind magic, sound magic, sound healing, bibliomancy and shufflemancy

Higher Octave: Uranus As Mercury reflects our inner mind and focus, Uranus being an outer planet governs the collective mind and the community. Mercury seeks to get ideas out and communicate where as Uranus seeks to take old ideas and innovate them into new inventions or new methods of doing things. Mercury may be the air and clouds but Uranus is the eagle-eye view and lightning strike to change everything.

Minor Celestial Guide: Pallas Pallas is an asteroid that can highlight our methods of handling difficult decisions, our inner reasoning and wisdom. It also represents the creative use of the mental faculty in combination with ageless wisdom. It can show us where in our lives we have that divine spark of creative intelligence and wisdom to spring forth. Pallas also highlights how we may navigate new environments and take in information. When you explore your Pallas it can open the ways of which you learn and take in information and use that to express yourself. Being an asteroid, Pallas can show you your insecurities in these areas and how you face the issues of learning, creativity and the fears of success. Working with Pallas can help you unblock those energies and better relate to Mercury. Where as mercury is the map, Pallas is the method you use to get to your destination.

Mercury Magic Tools: light blue altar cloth (or sheer airy cloth), Incense sticks, tuning forks, sound bowls, Books for Bibliomancy, Celestite, Flourite, Sodalite, Lapis Lazuli, blue and light blue colored candles, feathers, swords

_____________________________________ Venus  ♀︎

Colors: Pink and Rose Gold  Zodiac: Libra Element: Love

Entity of love, unity, friendships, harmony, balance, morality and values, justice

Frequencies + Meditation: Frequency of Venus Love Romance and Harmony Meditation Venus EM Noise Love Meditation 639 Hz -  harmonious community Activating the center of Pleasure

Channeling Venus: Love is unity, compassion and understanding so naturally this energy will be the bridge between relationships and the relationship you have with yourself. Connecting with Venus helps you to understand your values and love language and reinforce your personal beliefs and morals and how you relate to others. We all have different love languages and values yet some times different people's values are not compatible with ours. Instead of being a doormat for false harmony, Venus can help you reassess your truth and weigh who you need to keep in your space and when you need to love yourself first. Venus is the planet of people and relationships and often Venus can bring different people from all corners of life for us to interact with in different scenarios. These scenarios often help us understand ourselves and our values and sense of compassion through us projecting on the other. When you channel Venus, Venus is wonderful in helping to bring people to you or opportunities that fulfill your values. If you need a new harmonious partner in a project or looking for new friends or (of course) a new lover, Venus can help make that connection. If you want to do magic to heal your heart and relearn how to honor yourself and your values, Venus can help with love of all kinds, especially ESPECIALLY self love, that is their specialty. If you want to attract opportunity to bring what you value to life, Venus can attract those jobs, homes, artistic opportunities and projects to you. Venus also helps to find middle ground in complicated situations. If you are in the middle of two conflicting situations or arguments, Venus helps to smooth it out. Lastly as Venus is a planet of love and our values, it is also a planet of Pleasure. Often when we have a strong connection to Venus we may easily feel the need to indulge in our pleasures (especially in an act of 'self love'). Venus helps to bring pleasure into your life and create pleasant experiences. Overall Venus is great with attraction magic especially for attracting people, quelling fights and balancing difficult situations and helping with self love. Elements that are great for channeling Venus in magic are: Love magic, attraction magic, sex magic, Bath magic, kitchen magic, glamour magic

Higher Octave: Neptune Both Venus and Neptune are planets of pleasure and art. (Venus is also Exalted in Pisces!) Where Venus governs love that operates on a personal and subjective nature, the outer planet Neptune governs the most elevated form of spiritual and universal love and compassion and unity through consciousness. Venus is more sensual and tactile where as Neptune is more mystical and universal in nature.

Also Note: Both Venus and Neptune have abilities to help with magic revolving around projecting an image (like glamours), however the difference between these magics is Venus helps you to project your own beauty and values through your aesthetic where as Neptune can help project an idea or even an illusion to help conceal. If you want to do a glamour spell for beauty or to boost confidence or your aura, Venus can help, however if you want to use glamour magic to project an idea, a different persona, an illusion, or even use invisibility glamour, Neptune will help.

Minor Celestial Guide: Juno Juno is an asteroid that can help us understand what we seek in an ideal partnership but it can also show us where we are willing to devote our energy towards and make commitments to. Working with Juno can help us evaluate how we are spending our energy and if it's towards a cause or person who reflects our deepest and most important values. If something is not aligning with your values, it's best to manifest a reality where you are aligned in partnerships, jobs, daily hobbies. Juno wants the fulfilling partnerships and Venus is the map to show you what that is. If you disregard these energies you end up disrespecting them as you are living a life that's misaligned with your values, a life that is pleasure less, a life that lacks self love and self respect. Juno is enraged!!! With inequalities and shows us where we seek to make things balanced, fair and right. People associate jealousy with Juno (I feel like that's just weird sexist gendered astrology) but Juno being an asteroid can show us our insecurities in order to help balance them. Juno gets upset where we feel neglected, betrayed and unloved. Juno can help you to fix these areas and help you better connect to the energies of Venus. Additionally Juno is the master of multi-tasking. As Venus wants to balance everything and give all of their pleasures and pursuits a chance (a reason why Libras are terrible at decision making), Juno helps ups prioritize and multitask so we have the chance to connect to all of those pleasures. It's the method we use to find balance and our middle ground.

Venus Magic Tools: Pink altar cloth, rose quartz, rhodochrosite, mangano, bath blends and body creams, flower water, flowers (flowers and flower essences are energies that love to heal with self love), Copper and Rose Gold tools, pink colored candles, pendulum, Apples, (most fruits but especially Apples)

_________________________________________ Mars  ♂︎

Colors: Red  Zodiac: Aries Element: Fire

Entity of Courage, Motivation, Strength, Righteous anger, Inner Drive/Fire

Frequencies + Meditation: Mars Frequency Activate Will Power Restore Assertive Energy  Sex Energy Vibrational Balancing Fire Meditation for Will Power

Channeling Mars: Connecting with Mars helps you connect with your inner fire and passions. When you lose motivation in life, courage or will power, Mars will help you re-align with that. It's also a fantastic entity to work with when you want to attract something you strongly desire. The sun can help create and materialize our intentions, but Mars can help give us the drive or attraction to obtain something already there or a long term goal. The Sun and Mars have some similarities due to them both being fiery yet Mars is more about drive. If you are in a place losing hope or falling into melancholy, the Sun can help restore faith and vitality but Mars can help ignite the fire for you to get what you want. It's a bit more hostile in energy as it does not seek to revive your joy, align with your purpose or alleviate sadness like the sun yet it turns that melancholy into coal to burn on nothing but spite or lust for your goals. Mars not only shows us our desires that help light our fire but it can highlight our sexuality as well. Elements that are great for channeling Mars in magic are: Fire Magic, Sex Magic, Hexing, Martial Arts

Higher Octave: Pluto Where Mars highlights our motivations and passions, Pluto shows our power and energetic influence. Pluto is depicted as a phoenix rising from the ashes of Mars's fire. Where Mars represents our actions taken based upon personal desire, Pluto being an outer Higher vibrational planet shows the collective principles or desires that gets broken down and goes through metamorphosis by it's transit.

Minor Celestial Guide: Eros Most tend to be familiar with Eros in the chart detailing your sexual nature. (When you pair your Eros with a partners Mars you can see how compatible you are sexually and vice versa), However Eros can also show us how we pursue our passions and pour a lot of our creative passion into as well. When you have large goals or big dreams, you can look to Eros to see which methods are best for you to achieve them. Eros transits can show us easier pathways to pursuing our desires. Eros represents actions on our passions and the satisfactions of obtaining them. Eros being an asteroid can also show us a shadowy side where we may cross the lines to get what we want. Such endless drive can get us into trouble but understanding how your inner spark works can also help you understand how to use it wisely.

Mars Magic Tools: Red altar cloth, Candles in general cause of FIRE! Red colored candles, Athames and daggers, Carnelian, Garnet, Red Jasper, Fire Agate, Peppers,

_______________________________

The Three Teachers:

Where as The Sun, Moon and Earth are the three Luminaries, illuminating our path and innermost nature, and Mercury, Mars and Venus are the inner personal planets detailing our mind, bodies and hearts, Jupiter, Saturn and Chiron are the 'Three Teachers'. They show us how we can grow and learn as well as apply our wisdom from experience.

Jupiter  ♃

Colors: Orange and Bronze Zodiac: Sagittarius Element: Abundance and Luck (Also Wood)

 I love the Eastern element of Wood for Jupiter. It symbolizes growth, expansion, excitement, opportunity and wealth well.

Entity of Abundance, Luck, Prosperity and Expansion

Frequencies + Meditation: Frequency of Jupiter Boundless Abundance Meditation Wish Fulfilling Miracle Meditation Manifest Miracles - Luck Raise Higher Energy Vibration

Channeling Jupiter: Jupiter multiplies everything it touches. Do you want to expand your opportunities? Your business? Your experiences? Channeling Jupiter will help swell these areas up. However like unmanaged bamboo, Jupiter will expand anything like an invasive forest suffocating any other plant and covering the field like wildfire. Yes Jupiter can help expand your 'crops' you're cultivating in life, it can plump up the fields of bronze wheat, swell up the orange pumpkins, curate many vermillion tomatoes, but you need to focus that energy in the right direction or else you may be getting an abundance of weeds suffocating everything else instead. Jupiter can also help you reconnect to what makes you feel spiritually satisfied and what you value as prosperity in life. Jupiter as a teacher encourages life adventures, traveling and connecting with experiences that will fulfill you. When you need that type of growth and encouragement, working with Jupiter will help bring those experiences to you. Often Jupiter may bring experiences to you to help broaden your personal philosophy so that one day being surrounded with the type of abundance you crave will be a reality. Jupiter being the great benefict and helping with Luck and Abundance also highly appreciates the energetic form of gratitude. Jupiter responds easily to jovial energy or graciousness yet if you approach it with desperation such as being in need of quick money, Jupiter is unfortunately unhelpful in that situation. Jupiter is better at expanding, it does not help attract as well as it can swell. If you wish to expand what is already good that you have (even if it's a small good thing), Jupiter is more than happy to inflate that. But if you are asking Jupiter to help expand something you don't have, Jupiter unfortunately will expand the fact that you do not have it. That's why it's wise to think of Jupiter as an entity of gratitude, for if you find what you already have good going for you and you approach Jupiter, it can help expand those areas into opportunities in your life and help you find the fulfillment you seek. Elements that are great for channeling Jupiter in magic are: Luck Magic, Road Opening Magic, Abundance Magic, Anything growth related (whether it's abundance for good or expanding a bad situation as a hex), celebrations and energy raising.

Minor Celestial Guide: Fortuna The part of fortune also known as Fortuna is a mathematical point which represents personal success and spiritual fulfillment can be indicative of a career or vocation. It also shows where we will find our greatest fulfillment and sense of personal abundance. Fortuna can show where in our lives we can find happiness and a personal sense of success yet the point opposite of Fortuna may block the free flow of energy and make it harder to find joy if we embody that aspect too much. However success isn't just a state of being, the opposite point can bring a broader perspective to our needs so that we know how to maintain our success. Working with Fortuna can help us connect with what we see as success in our lives and help us to better work with Jupiter's blessings.

Jupiter Magic Tools: Orange or Bronze Altar Cloth, orange candles, sparklers, coins, lucky charms, travel altar witch boxes, alcohol, tigers eye, gold sandstone, crazy lace agate, oak tools

________________________________ Saturn  ♄

Colors: Brown   Zodiac: Capricorn Element: Stone and Metal 

Entity of Structures, Boundaries, Protection, Building

Frequency + Music: Frequency of Saturn Saturn Vibrations Boosting Productivity Vibration Overcoming Procrastination Focus and Concentration for Productivity

Channeling Saturn: Do you have a problem saying No? Do you have issues affirming your boundaries? Are you a formless blob floating through time and space with no set schedule or routine and you are trapped on this 4 dimensional plane, plagued with time and responsibilities and you wish you could just get a grip? Saturn is a wonderful planet for structure, building solid foundations, protection and boundaries. Many see Saturn as a great malefic but those are probably just other formless blobs that dread the presence of Saturn aspecting their charts and forcing them to work on their procrastinated tasks or else perish. Saturn is a planet of work and can help you build solid foundations and lasting rewards (though you need to put in the effort). Like Jupiter, Saturn seeks to teach through experiences, often those experiences being obstacles that force you to overcome them with gained wisdom and mastery of your skill. Some see Saturn as restrictive yet Saturn wants you to evolve through adversity, gain wisdom from your experiences and mistakes and build a solid foundation for yourself. Saturn can bring rewards when you put in the work. Where Jupiter can bring sudden abundance which could dissipate overnight, Saturn takes ages to bring it's reward but it's ever lasting. Evoking Saturn the builder is great for channeling endurance, building healthy structure, evoking protection and boundaries (all of them rings holler back the FUck up), warding magic and gaining responsibility to take on tasks when you really don't feel like doing something. Elements that are great for channeling Saturn in magic are: Stone magic, Metal Magic, Cottage Magic (especially when co-working with Vesta), Binding, Warding, Grounding

Minor Celestial Guide: Vesta Vesta is the daughter of Saturn and this asteroid can show us our sacrifice, service and dedication to our aspirations, plans and goals. Connecting with Vesta can help us understand where we can find devotion to a cause, project, person or belief that is sacred to us. She relates to work that is meaningful to us that we may even end up in solitude or have to make sacrifices for it. Vesta imbues us with a desire to serve a calling. Vesta is also the planet of the home and hearth and can show that our foundations for success start at home with a healthy routine. As all minor points have their shadow sides, Vesta can show where we may be repressed, have lack of focus, feel insecure or feel alienated. However Vesta can show us how to manage ourselves so we won't stray from pursuing our goals. Working with Vesta can give us clarity to working with Saturn and understand that Saturn is not all about hardships and hard work, but work in order to build something meaningful to you that will be long lasting. Vesta wants to show you where you are called to serve yourself, your community or the world.

Saturn Magical Tools: Brown altar cloth, brown or beige candles (better just plain soy candles), stone figurines, ceramic tools, salt for warding, hematite, dragon stone, Agate, Brown Apatite, Smokey Quartz, Shungite, witch jars

_______________________________ Chiron  ⚷

Colors: White Zodiac: Virgo Element: Healing

Entity of Pain and Healing, Poison into Medicine, Renewal, Solutions for the Cure, Recovery and Antidotes

Frequency + Music: Chiron Frequency Full Body Healing Meditation Trauma Recovery Sound Therapy Healing Emotional Wounds and Trauma Repairing and Bringing Positive Transformation Theta Waves - Trauma Recovery Transforming Grief into Joy Healing Anxiety, Guilt, Anger, Bitterness Meditation

Channeling Chiron: This planet is fascinating as it's a Centaur astrologically. What an astrological Centaur means is that it shares the same qualities of a minor planet and a comet (like the ways centaurs are half human half horse, the planet has two qualities to itself as well). Chiron is one of the most important asteroids that many astrologers consider it as an important entity to be aware of. Chiron shows us where our deep emotional traumas lie, our insecurities and weak spots yet those same spots is how we can heal others and understand our own healing. I dubbed Chiron as the entity of Poisons and Medicine since it can show you how to transform pain into healing for yourself and others.(Depending where your natal chiron is, look at the zodiac sign I have assigned to the planet and the minor celestial guide underneath that. So for example Chiron in Gemini, look to Pallas at how you can help that. Chiron in Leo can be healed through your natal Apollo. Etc.). Chiron is known as the wounded healer as it can teach us empathy and the wisdom to heal others through our own pain. Sometimes experiencing adversity can help us gain perspective to understand others struggle to give a helping hand. If you have been struggling for a while to heal from the past, Chiron can help you understand and process what you went through. Traditional astrology looks at Chiron's placement as a constant point where you will always feel pain but I find that fatalistic and untrue. When Chiron makes aggressive transits it can show us parts of ourselves that are hurting that we need to heal and renew. Through our wisdom from pain we can help overcome our battles and help others. Elements that are great for channeling Chiron in magic are: Healing magic, oracle cards, therapy, energy healing, deep trance meditation, working with poisonous medicinal plants as guides

Minor Celestial Guide: Persephone #399 Chiron is already a minor planet but if you need an additional minor planet for further insight you can look to Persephone #399. Persephone in our charts can show where we may have felt restricted and where we need to reclaim our power. Often our restrictions are created by our own mental prisons and Persephone can help us understand how to co-exist with our personal underworlds, understand our blocks and tame our inner demons. Persephone's asteroid can help us achieve balance, where we can find peace and balance between our underworlds and make room for us to be happy and express light above that. There are interesting similarities to Chiron and Persephone where as Chiron has an unusual orbit which makes it exist in one form for half of it's cycle (as a comet) when it’s closer to the sun and another form for another half of it's orbit (as a minor planet) when it’s orbiting out in darkness. Chiron exists in two worlds in two different forms. Chiron also has to overcome it's demons in order to heal others and Persephone overcame her obstacles to help, heal and love the forgotten in the underworld. Persephone can help us understand our restrictions and compassion and coexist with our inner demons in order for us to understand Chiron's energy better.

Higher Planet: Sedna Where Chiron turns pain into healing, Sedna can take tragedy and darkness and create life and light from the situation for the collective to benefit from.  

Chiron Magic Tools: White Altar Cloth, White Candles, Lepidolite, Clear Quartz, Howlite, Smokey Quartz, Black Tourmaline, juniper smoke bundles, rain water

________________________________

Outer Planets

The Outer Planets channel the collective path. These planets are powerful yet each can bring intense change or disruptions so be prepared before you want to work with them. 

Uranus  ♅

Colors: Violet and Ultraviolet (as It’s the beyond) Zodiac: Aquarius Elements: Chaos and Electricity

Entity of Innovation, Evolution, Change and Transfiguration

Frequency + Music: Frequency of Uranus Uranus - Renewal and Surprise  Awaken and Facilitate Changes with Uranus Expanding Consciousness and opening the crown Opening the Crown Energy Healing the Crown Ascension Meditation - Activating Consciousness

Channeling Uranus: Uranus is the first outer planet that takes our consciousness to realms beyond. Uranus energy can be chaotic but it's the surprise, chaos and sudden epiphanies that cause us to open our perspectives and ascend to the next level. Uranus is all about innovation and transformation so we may evolve (and elevate the collective). Like a bolt of lightning, Uranus can rip open the sky and strike us with the most powerful ideas and epiphanies or bring chaos to structures that are in need of change. Uranus's magic is the natural Alchemist, one who experiments and seeks to transform the material they are working with, whether it's transfiguring metals into gold or transmuting the soul to a higher being. If you are feeling stagnant, restricted or wish to make a breakthrough in some area of life, Uranus can channel that meteor from space to crash into your world and shake things up. Uranus can help expand your vision, Uranus can give you a new a fresh perspective, Uranus is also passionate about freedom and individuality and can help you break free of chains that are holding you back. (But be 100% sure you are ready to break free because once the lightning bolt strikes, there's no turning back to the way things were.) Elements that are great for channeling Uranus in magic are: Alchemical Magic, Chaos Magic, Electrical Magic (either lightning storm magic or techno magic), binural beats meditation and Psychedelics

Minor Celestial Guide: Prometheus #1809 Prometheus is also known as the Awakener, can show us our rebellious side, our dedication to our community, our strike of genius, audacity and daring. On the shadow side, Prometheus can show us where we can go too far for the sake of our rebelliousness and individuality and how that can bring trouble from the established authority. Working with Prometheus can show you where you can allow your full personal expression, embrace your individuality, channel your inner genius and where your humanitarian passions can come from. If you feel like your individuality or cause is being stifled, Prometheus’s energy can help. Understanding the energy of Prometheus in your chart can help you to better work with the energy of Uranus. 

Uranus Magic Tools: Purple or Metallic Altar Cloth, Purple candles, Storm water, magical tech, Titanium Quartz, Tektite, Moldavite, Bismuth and Psychadelics

________________________________ Neptune  ♆

Color: Indigo Zodiac: Pisces Element: Water

Entity of Dreams, the Sea of collective Consciousness, the Ocean and Water, Spirituality, Psychic connection, Astral Plane, divining

Frequency + Music: Frequency of Neptune Surrender and Let go of Control Meditation Pineal Activation Neptune Meditation - Activate Intuition Third Eye Activation Astral Projection Meditation Opening Third Eye Energy Healing Songs of the Ocean 

Channeling Neptune: Neptune is a planet of inspiration, dreams, psychic receptivity, spirituality as well as illusions. If you want to strengthen your psychic abilities, intuition and connection with the other worlds, Neptune can help. It is an entity that loves to open the doors to many other dream worlds for you (though it's good to have a filter). Neptune also can help if you are in need of enlightenment or a spiritual refresh. If you are feeling disenchanted by your path or magic, Neptune will help re-ignite your inner wonders. As Neptune is also the planet of illusions and deceit, it can help in glamour magic and weaving your dreams over reality. Neptune is great to work with for spiritual journeying both metaphorically and metaphysically through astral projection, trance meditation, using substances to enter other planes etc, yet Neptune has an addictive quality which may make you feel the need to exist in the dreamscape instead of reality which is important to be aware of. Positively Neptune wants to heal and give compassion to everyone. Opening up that psychic connection can open up your awareness towards others moods. As the moon can reflect our own inner (fresh) waters, Neptune reflects the whole, which is like the Sea. Diving into this Ocean we can explore worlds we never knew, New perspectives, new abilities and new sources of inspiration. Elements that are great for channeling Neptune in magic are: water based magic (especially sea magic), Dream oracling, Divination, Art Magic, Glamour Magic, Tarot Cards and Astral Projection

Minor Celestial Guide: Iris Iris represents a rainbow and where Iris sits in our charts shows where we retain hope, where we need to be truthful and where we search for unity and healing. On the dark side, Iris also shows where we are inclined to fool ourselves. Like a rainbow, it can bring hope yet it will eventually fade. However Iris wants us to trust in ourselves and find our dreams in our heart so that no matter which illusions or seemingly manifestations of our desires can fool us since we know what we truly need. Working with Iris can help you regain hope, reconnect with your dreams and your psychic and empath abilities. Once you understand Iris's shadow and can work with this energy well, Iris can help you open up to working with Neptune.

Neptune Magic Tools: Indigo Altar Cloth, Indigo candles, Divination, Amethyst, Angelite, Sodalite, Iolite, Labradorite, Azurite, Tanzanite, Mugwort, Butterfly Pea Flower, Passion Flower, Clary Sage, Dream Pillows, Valerian root

____________________________ Pluto 

Colors: Black Zodiac: Scorpio Element: Ether

Entity of Ether, Dark Matter, Death and Renewal and Transmutation of Energy

Frequency + Meditation: Frequency of Pluto Rebirth with the Cosmic Energy of Pluto Inner Awareness, Deep Trance Meditation Awaken Dormant Power Align with your Soul’s Purpose Soul Star Activation

Channeling Pluto: Where Mars is about physical power and drive, Pluto is about power of the soul, our life force and spirits. As our spirit will only be in our physical form for a limited time, Pluto reminds us that this energy that exists in everything gets constantly transmuted and rebirthed into something new. Death is the door to the next form. When Pluto has beneficial transits, our powers and magic are amplified. Influencing ether and magic around us comes at ease. Pluto has the ability to help you connect with your pure energy and wield that power (just don't manipulate it cause negative Pluto transits can also break that power down and bring endings as it changes it into something else). Pluto is about unseen forces, the energy that lies in the void that is ready to be molded into life before returning again. Pluto can help us connect with our spirit and the energy and power around us. Channeling Pluto can bring about powerful experiences, deep soul connections, and deaths of egos as sudden life experiences can change our truths and perspectives into something new. Pluto is great to bring about endings and new beginnings and empowerment. However be cautious as Pluto is a powerful planet that can awaken energy or creating sudden endings you weren't ready for. Elements that are great for channeling Pluto in magic are: Energy Magic, Death Magic and Hedgewitchery

Minor Celestial Guide: Psyche #16 Psyche will help you reconnect to your soul. Sometimes we may stray from our soul's true desires in this lifetime and lose our path, but Psyche can help point you back into that direction. Working with Psyche can help promote integration with the totality of self, metamorphosis, transcendence, unity of mind and soul. If you are feeling disempowered or disconnected from yourself, Psyche can help with soul loss, soul retrieval and raising your vibration. Sometimes doubts, envy and abandonment can help us diminish our power and Psyche can force us to face our darkest fears so we can discover the truth in ourselves and never let that power be taken away. On the dark side, Psyche can highlight where we can be inclined to give up in the face of adversity, where we may seek an easy way out and where life will test us again and again until we can confront our own underworlds. However this guide wants us to understand our ability to transform and reconnect with our soul since it's a source of constant power and brilliance that can never be diminished. Understanding our natal Psyche can make working with Pluto easier and less intimidating.

Pluto Magic Tools: Black Altar Cloth, Black Candles, Obsidian, Black tourmaline, Onyx, Skulls, Mushrooms and Fungi,

________________________________

Working with the Outer Planets:

Beyond Pluto, the guardian of the underworld, the outer solar system's planets take on an even higher octave of meaning for collective humanity. Where as the inner planets manifest in our methods and personality, the outer planets narrate humanity's collective consciousness, the Trans Neptunian Objects past Pluto all have a deeper spiritual role more so mapping out Humanity's and the world's collective progress and themes for each age. The planets here take up to a century to even transit to the next sign (taking in their current positions help with learning each sign's degrees meaning).

The outer planets are far from personal and the only way to work with them well is if your intentions are to serve the community or use your vessel as a magic of change to progress humanity. If you intend to do this, the best way to work with the outer planets is to wait until a closer planet is aspecting them, then you can channel their energy that way.

Some notable planets from beyond are Haumea and Sedna. Haumea is a planet of fertility, life and abundance and appeared in a time when humanity needs to prioritize life (which includes the earth and each other) and relinquish it's need for control and greed. Haumea is currently in Libra and that energy can be understood as our need to honor each other and co-create a new healthy world together (as well as get over our need to control others). Sedna can operate as a higher octave of Chiron yet for all of Humanity. Sedna seeks to transmute darkness and pain into light and opportunity for all to benefit from. However Sedna can also show bitterness and resentment if reciprocation is not offered. Sedna is currently transiting the end of Taurus (in a few years it will transit into Gemini) but it can amplify humanity's transition with it's dark relationship with the earth and it's resources and creating change in that for humanity to create better solutions out of the chaos.

There are a few others but there is not a lot of research or energy on them to work with. (Also as there are entities of life, there are entities of destruction beyond too).

____________________________________________

If this thread has inspired you to want to work with celestial energy in your own way, the way you can understand that relationship with your connection to these bodies is to study where they are in your star chart. Here is an Ephemeris where you can log in your birth details and ctrl+f to find the celestial body you need. Additionally sound baths help a lot and many gongs are attuned to the same frequencies that planets give off. Meditating and channeling it's energy through divination or trance is a good way to connect. With further planets like the TNO's going to a sound bath and submerging yourself in a deep trance can help. The entities beyond the planet pluto, the gatekeeper to the underworld, are all based off of creation energy that birthed life from darkness but it can take a while to channel their energy and reach them.

If you made it this far let me know your thoughts! Or if you have any questions!

[bookandcover]

The long-awaited sixth and final installment of the Queen’s Thief series! I asked for this book for my birthday back in October (said it was the one thing I truly wanted) and then I read it at breakneck pace in the two or three days that followed. I waited until now to write about it (tragically lame) and, in the meantime, loaned my copy to my sister…my writing about this awesome book leaves something to be desired. I’ll probably re-read the whole thing sometime this year.

As in books 3-5 of this series, The Return of the Thief shows us Eugenides through the eyes of someone else, although this book follows, more closely than books 4 and 5, the events that have Eugenides at their heart (like the lynchpin that he is, peace-keeper on the Lesser Peninsula, but also the centroid of the mechanism, controlling the events around him as these weave intricate patterns). Our young narrator is Pheris, of the house Erondites, heir of the most troublesome of Attolia’s barons. But no love is lost between Pheris and his family, as the young boy’s physical disabilities make him an embarrassment to them. Like Eugenides himself, Pheris leans into the things that make him underestimated by others, and, in doing so, he observes a lot, but is suspected of nothing. When he’s sent to the palace by his grandfather, to serve like many young heirs as an attendant to the king, his physical (and assumed mental) disabilities are intended to be seen as a direct insult to Eugenides.

Pheris’s role as king’s attendant places him in close proximity to Eugenides, allowing a narration of plot from eyes that are nearby, but that do not see everything. This narrative viewpoint relies, as so much of this series as a whole does, on the incorrect assumptions that other characters make about Eugenides—often to those very characters’ downfalls. The reader is, of course, no longer fooled; we know Eugenides’s omniscience. And, early in this book, I worried this trope of dramatic irony was used and worn. I couldn’t imagine a better foil character for Eugenides than Costis, who is his straightforwardness and courageous foolhardiness, is the perfect complement to Gen. When Gen jokingly says “jump,” Costis doesn’t even stop to ask “how far?” Their dynamic is beautiful and, often, comedic. Attolia as counter-point to Eugenides provides another unparalleled character dynamic, vastly different than the one between wily Gen and earnest Costis, as Attolia’s set of strategic moves—more serious and calculated, more “textbook” than her husband’s—complement Eugenides’s at turn-after-turn. The irony, for Attolia and Eugendies, exists between. We, as the readers, are somehow left out of their cosmic inside joke, only glimpsing it here and there, while we laugh repeatedly at Costis’s expense.

Where would Pheris land on this spectrum? Was there another counter-point to Eugenides that could show him more fully than these other characters had already done? I was pleased to realize that the Eugenides that Pheris drew forth was the one twisted with insecurities, the one fighting a real battle between himself and his god who holds him up, but who also—as Gen knows so well—will one day let him fall. In placing a character near to Eugenides whom Eugenides does not need to perform for, someone who he must see himself in, we see Gen at his most vulnerable. There is more about Gen that the reader needs to see and to understand. While we, too, once underestimated Gen (along with Attolia, along with Costis), Turner reverses this on us and shows us that we also must not overestimate him. Here is Gen the man, the mortal—in the clutches of a wild destiny, but still fallible and human.

Pheris realizes these things in his own way and on his own time. His loyalty to Eugenides isn’t easily won, which is true, too, of Attolia, of Costis. But it takes a different thing for each of these characters to turn themselves to pivot around Eugenides, to believe in him, to see him for who he truly is.

For Attolia, this took mutual love, a love that is still being spun out and examined in this final novel, entirely within Eugenides’s insecurities. Eugenides, we see here, questions Attolia’s love for him repeatedly, not out of doubt of her, but out of doubt of his god. Does his wife love him, against her will, because this is what he asked for? This is the place where the novel ends, in the poignant Epilogue that answers Gen’s questions about Irene’s love. I understood, from this final book, that Eugenides never questions his love for Irene. When he is sickened by their history, by his loss of his hand at hers, this is not fear nor doubt of his own love, which I think might be the first interpretation a reader, or observer, would have of his actions. Instead, Gen wonders and worries over how she can love him. He did not doubt her hatred at a point in time in their pasts. How can he reconcile those memories with her love now, if not through the intervention of the god that he sees make the impossible possible in his life? Attolia, somehow, understands Gen and is changed deeply, irrevocably by her understanding. Attolia seems like someone who, without the well-fit complement to herself who is Gen, might never have loved or considered a partnership, contented in herself as she was. She is never lessened by Gen, to the contrary. She tries repeatedly to build him up, to force his hand, to yield power to him, to make him openly show himself as the king she knows him to be. The strength of her conviction in him is always stronger that his own. She does not question herself, either; firm and objective where Eugenides flows, malleable, changeable, and moody.

We do see Eugenides try out certain kinds of power, and face Attolia’s correction, in this sixth book. One of the most startling parts of the novel was Eugenides’s attempts to convince Attolia to stay behind from the battlefront when she is pregnant (because, why, I wondered, did he even try), but this shows he has but little of his normal strategic restraint when it comes to his feelings about his wife. I adored the scene where he nearly kills Attolia’s lame suitor with a knife thrown just moments too late, which, like his attempts to keep Attolia from riding into battle, seems theatrical in nature, like a play staged for the benefit of their onlooking kingdom (how telling that we see the festival plays that satirize Eugenides as the one-handed king, and, whole the king behaves like he’s offended, but we all know he loves a good drama). The truest, realest moments of Gen and Irene are hidden from the eyes of everyone. Pheris, only by chance, gets the smallest glimpse: the two with couches pushed together, asleep in each others’ arms after Eugenides altercation Attolia’s suitor. Attolia did not bend to Eugenides, but she is reshaped by him. She, too, although she did not know it and did not long for it, was lonely for love, as we’re shown in the Epilogue where we return to the scene where Gen first saw her dancing alone in the gardens. It was not the will of the god that changed her, but only the slightest nudge of the circumstances—so that a boy saw a girl, who was lonely, but also strong, and rebuilt his life around trying to be with her. Eugenides weaves the strings of fate, yes, but how can we possibly fault him the end goal? Becoming king is the irksome side effect of being married to the woman he’s always wanted.

For Costis to orbit around Eugenides took the dismantling of his settled, square worldview. Like Attolia, he is changed. Like Attolia, this change is organic. We’ve never seen Eugenides browbeat someone into submission. Even his enemies are brought low through their own failures. This doesn’t, of course, mean that Eugenides takes his victories with grace; he wouldn’t be Gen without that horrible self-satisfaction, stubbornness, and studied laziness. Costis valued a certain kind of strength. He needed to see Eugenides was capable of this kind of strength, and in seeing this—at the end of book 3—he truly understood the choice Eugenides makes to prioritize other types of strength. That other men’s brand of pride is worth nothing. That saving face is worth nothing. That traditional masculinity is worth nothing. That winning is worth very, very little. Especially, when, on the other side of the scale is the safety of someone you love. Is yourself that need to live with forever. Is information that could make the difference, all the difference in the world.

We see Costis who has been reshaped by Eugenides in book 5 of the series. He is a more cautious speaker and thinker, willing to plan many steps ahead, willing to hide more of himself. But he is still righteous, still blundering, still a country boy, and an excellent counterpoint to refined Kamet who is very ready to underestimate someone with these characteristics, giving Costis is own type of Eugenides energy. I left book 5 feeling somewhat dissatisfied, longing for more emotional unpacking between Costis and Kamet. I was sad that these two were only side characters in book 6, but we got tidbits and hints at the blossoming love between them (I mean, who moves to live alone in the country with someone unless they are rustic lovers?!) Through Relius and Teleus’s characters (two stoic figures who have a complex emotional undercurrent to their relationship) we get another look at queer love in the world of the Queen’s Thief. There’s also a subtle nod to the support, care, and affinity among a queer community in Attolia when Kamet dances with Relius, while Costis dances with his sister, at the celebration at the very end of the book. Pheris also bonds closely with Relius and I wondered if Pheris’s character is perhaps asexual (he’s adamant that he doesn’t think he’ll ever fall in love). These characters’ identities are complex, and never simplified, and there seems to be a resistance on the author’s part to spelling out their sexualities and romantic entanglements exactly. But this is not unlike the primary heterosexual relationship at the heart of the series: the most intimate moments take place “off stage,” and we, the readers, see mostly the waves of impact made by their love and commitment and by their nuanced understandings of each other.

For Pheris to see Eugenides and to be changed by him takes Eugenides’s vulnerability, in combination with Pheris seeing and understanding the hand of his god on the king. Pheris lives in his own circle of misery (afraid of the treatment of his family even within the palace, a legitimate fear we know after Juridius threatens him), one that Eugenides reaches into in a way that might surprise someone who did not know Gen’s brand of kingship well. When Pheris falls ill and is feverish, he has fragmented memories of the king at his side, caring for him in the middle of the night. Pheris also see Eugenides sick and debilitated repeatedly. In one of the most intense sections of the book, Pheris sees Eugenides fully operating under the hand of his god when the king is captured by the Medes when the two camps are staked out on the plains of battle. Pheris follows the king into the Medes’s camp receiving little resistance from others. He hides in the king’s place as the king goes on a mysterious killing spree, removing the leadership of their enemies. As the two escape the camp, Pheris sees in Eugenides a harsh energy that is inhuman, as inhuman as the lightness he exhibits in a game of chase—where he jumps from balconies and leaps for hanging chandeliers—throughout his own palace.

Early on during his time in the palace, Pheris too sees a god appear before Eugenides and guide him back onto the path planned for him: in this case, that path is to keep Pheris at his side and not send him back home, as Eugenides wished to do after learning of Pheris passing information (albeit against his will) to Juridius. Eugenides, Pheris sees, is often upset and bitter about this intervention of the gods, especially as the gods’ give instructions he cannot wish to follow, yet he understands, utterly, the power of the gods. From this, Pheris does not learn to obey Eugenides above all else. He still frees his traitorous uncle Sejanus from right under Eugenides’s nose and helps him escape from the united Lesser Peninsula army’s camp. This is an instinctual choice that pays off, as Sejanus later warns the gathered Attolian-Eddisian-Sounissian army about a pass where a smaller section of the Mede Army is trying to invade the Lesser Peninsula and catch the defending army in a pincher move. With Sejanus’s warning, a small band of Attolians and Eddisians, led by Eugenides, cut the Medes off at the pass, nearly with disastrous consequences. The ways in which Pheris shows his commitment to Eugenides, such as blindly following him into the Mede camp with no concern for himself, but still operating independently from him, particularly in his interactions with Sejanus, set up Pheris as a complex figure in Eugenides’s world, one ultimately guided by his own inner compass and worldview, in much the way Eugenides himself is.

This book epically culminates the series, drawing the plot lines of Attolia, Eddis, and Sounis together in one novel, as the countries unite under Eugenides—to whom the other nations swear fidelity—to drive the Mede Empire back and maintain their freedom and independence. With Attolia’s successful pregnancy after a few miscarriages, and the birth of an heir who can continue the unified governance of the Lesser Peninsula, we end this novel on a note of pure celebration, both human and god-blessed, as the characters take to the rooftops to dance, granted Eugenides’s smooth confidence as he dances with a god who has not let him fall.

[ajokeformur-ray]

May I have a mach too, please? 😳 I have borderline dissorder that makes me need constantly atention from the person I'm in love, and If I don't get it I feel extremely sad. I am a shy person but with a strong character, making friends is a very hard thing to do for me. I am quite asocial. I talk a lot with very reliable people, I can do monologue for hours. I like to feel protected, loved, feel like a little girl. I am very childlike and facetious. (Sorry for my bad English)

Hi, angel! You sent this in a long time ago so I hope this is still something you’ll enjoy! Thank you for being patient with me!😊💗

Total word count: 1, 806.

Arthur // wc: 918.

If anyone understands what it means to suffer in day to day life, it’s Arthur. He may not know what borderline disorder is upon first learning of it, but Arthur has regular appointments with Doctor Kane and he can easily find out with her. He would read out loud from his government issued brown battered journal all of the things which you said to him the night before during a candid conversation, and Doctor Kane would frown. She would reach into one of her drawers in her overcrowded desk, bowing under its own weight and hand Arthur a pamphlet which details your disorder. Arthur would spend long hours reading from this pamphlet and he would listen to you and follow what you say to the letter. Nothing is more important to him than you are, and he proves that to you every single day. You feel extremely sad if you don’t receive the attention which you need from your loved one, and Arthur is an all or nothing person; which means that naturally are you surrounded with love and never for even a second can you doubt his love and devotion for you. Arthur tells you every single day, in every available moment, that he loves you and all the reasons why. He, too, also needs constant reassurance, so loud are his demons and so vicious are his thoughts. You silence them every day, just as he does for you. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, for both of you struggle daily and exhausting is it even on your best days. During the days when Arthur can’t be for you what you most need him to be, he is deeply apologetic and devotes the rest of the evening, those scant few precious hours, holding you close and giving you what you deserve. It’s the least he can do for you and it’s undoubtedly  the very same you would do for him in that same situation.

It’s really hard for you to make friends and you’re very shy. Arthur, for his part, is also very shy and keeps to himself. As such, it’s takes a long time for the two of you  to even start a friendship. You have a strong character and Arthur also has hidden depths and is frequently underestimated and in this way do you gravitate towards each other, both sensing that there is more to the other person than first seems to be. You are asocial and Arthur was socially isolated for much of his life, so both of you are lost when it comes to social interactions. However, that sense that there is more to each other guides you through each interaction and you slowly fall together. It isn’t easy, and sometimes you wonder why you bother, but then you look into Arthur’s hypnotic sea green eyes and you remember all of the reasons why.  There is nothing either of you won’t do for the other, and even when or if miscommunications happen between the two of you, there is so much love between you that you can overcome anything. It’s hard for you to make friends and it’s just as hard for Arthur to make friends too, so the two of you typically spend much of your time together; you are each other’s best friend. As the two of you get to know each other, you discover each other’s hidden depths and you realise that you were right: there is more to Arthur than meets the eye. You wonder how you ever survived before him. You are asocial and when Arthur comes home from work and your own day is over with, the two of you spend a quiet evening together on the worn sofa watching The Murray Franklin Show and talking quietly. You rarely go out in the evenings and neither of you would ever have it any other way. You have both found your forever home and though 8J is the apartment, your home is in the arms of the other person.

You talk a lot with very reliable people, and Arthur is the most reliable person of them all. During those quiet evenings on the sofa, you can monologue for hours and Arthur adores listening to you. He likes for it to be quiet while he watches The Murray Franklin Show so that he can fully immerse himself in his daydreams, but when the show is over and he is dancing with you across the cramped but cosy living room, Arthur likes to listen to you talk. “Come on, talk to me,” he quietly says, barely audible over the television. “Let me hear all about your day,“ and he will tell you about his day too. You tell each other everything, best friends are you. You like to feel protected and loved, and Arthur is a natural caretaker. These two things go hand in hand and your relationship is built on mutual trust and respect and your individual personalities perfectly complement one another. You are childlike and Arthur adores practicing his show on you, for you give him an authentic reaction every single time and over the weeks and months of your relationship his show and his sense of humour gets tailored to your own, so desperately does he want to make you laugh and smile. You are facetious and this fits in perfectly with Arthur’s dark sense of humour, for he, too, jokes about inappropriate things. The two of you are perfect for each other in every single way.

Joker // wc: 888.

By this stage in your relationship, yourself and Joker know everything about each other. There is nothing either of you can say or do which will surprise the other person, so deeply and so completely do you know and love one another. The both of you require constant reassurance and attention from the other person for different reasons. For you, it is because of your borderline disorder and for Joker, it is due to learned behaviours. He is not a narcissist, but due to being raised by a narcissistic parent, he inevitably exhibits those tendencies. The longer he is with you, however, the less he shows these signs, due to learning different behaviours. Again, it is not all sunshine and rainbows, and there are days when neither of you are what the other person most wants you to be. Clear communication and mutual trust and respect enable the two of you to discuss your feelings within your relationship, and this means that such times are usually smoothed over with well earned and well-deserved cuddles. He still has the pamphlet which Doctor Kane gave him all that time ago. Little does he refer to it now, preferring to rely on his own knowledge and experiences. There is nothing he won't do for you, and following recent events has that sentiment taken a darker tone. It is more ominous now, and more threatening to all except yourself. You are the safest person in all of Gotham and in Joker's arms do you find everything you have ever wanted or needed, even before you knew what those things were. Whenever you are sad or anything less than perfectly okay, Joker is there with an understanding, sympathetic smile and the calloused pads of his thumbs wipe away any and all tears which fall. You are his greatest priority and he will protect you and defend you with his life. 

Joker is the same man he has always been, it is only that he no longer cares what the world may think of him; Gotham wanted a clown and that was precisely what they got. The poor man chose his name but not what came with it and it breaks your heart to think about everything that he had to go through and still was he unseen, still was he unknown and still was he not listened to, by all except you; his one and only person who understands him. It is difficult for you to make friends and Joker is your biggest supporter. Just because his life is over, as a wanted man and a criminal, it doesn't mean that yours is and he will support you in everything. Your future is something which Joker defends with greater ferocity than you do. You are shy but your character is strong and Joker finds this juxtaposition amusing. If you ever get shy in front of him, he only giggles and cups your face delicately in his hands, his fingers splayed behind your ears, and he kisses you soundly until you quite forget what you were shy about. There is nothing he won't do for you and though he often werewolfs out in the filthy and dirty streets of Gotham, he also loves nothing more than coming home to you. You are safest at home and it is easier for Joker to protect himself when he isn't worried about your safety. If he lost you then he would truly be dangerous for only then would he have nothing left to lose and in a city like Gotham is that dangerous beyond measure. But the city got what it deserves and now, so does Joker in your arms. Nowhere else would he rather be.

Joker's protective streak is amplified by your enjoyment of feeling protected and loved; he is able to express this streak with you without the need of dampening himself down and with you is he his freest and truest self. Everything he does, everything that he is, is designed to help you and to protect you. Joker wouldn't want you any other way, just as you don't want him any other way. You can talk a lot and this grounds Joker more effectively than anything else. When his mind races and threatens to break the spirit of his soul, Joker asks you to talk. It doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, just so long as you do. You are his one and only person who understands him, and he never has to explain himself to you despite his unpredictable behaviours and unknown triggers and boundaries of his anger, because you understand him on a fundamental level, just as he does with you, so long have you been together and so deeply are you bonded. You are childlike and through you can Joker experience his own lost childhood. You remind him of a time which was stolen from him and he clings to you with everything that he has; his biggest fear is losing you. You fear the same and you work hard to maintain the rich relationship which the two of you have built together. Joker loves you for all of you and he would never want you any other way than how you so naturally are on your best day, your worst day and everything in between.

[docholligay]

"Day 29: Okay, but what if one of them realizes they’re dying, but doesn’t want to burden her and so doesn’t wake up the other and just curls up next to them one last time." I was initially gonna suggest doing this for HaruMichi, but now I'm curious about having it be used for Reinako.

1,000 ish words, I hope you enjoy! ANGSTOBER MY FRIENDS. 

Mina knew herself, and she knew herself well, and it was this quality of self-awareness that had served her well throughout her life. She knew, when she did things, generally why she did them, even if the answer was not particularly flattering. Mina was no mystery to MIna, however she might appear to others. 

She somehow thought it was different with Rei. Rei never seemed to know where that fire came from, and she blamed it on her father, and she blamed it on the patriarchy, and she blamed it on the same classes to which she herself belonged, but none of this was true, or it was true only in the way that a brush of the hand causes a mosquito bite to itch. It didn’t help, but it wasn’t the problem. No, Rei lived her life believing that she felt the way she did because she was always right to feel so, and if she went to that door inside her heart, where Mina had knocked so many times, she didn’t seem any worse for wear. 

Would Rei know, if it was happening to her? 

Mina knew herself, and so Mina knew she was selfish, and that was why she was here, sitting on a tatami mat while Rei slept next to her. She could have gone back to her tiny studio apartment. Mina could have pulled that bed down from the wall and slept there until it came. That would have been the kind thing to do. That would have been the noble thing to do. 

But Mina wasn’t kind, and she wasn’t noble, and she could be terribly selfish, and that was why she was here. She’d made a calculated choice. She couldn’t go to Haruka’s house, or Usagi’s. Neither of them would have survived it, in the end. But Rei was made of tougher stuff, and when the morning sun broke upon her and she found Mina was broken, she’d grit her teeth and pull herself up and keep going. 

Rei wouldn’t know why Mina hadn’t woken her, same as Rei wouldn’t really understand why she was so angry at Mina, probably would be for her entire life. 

But as selfish as Mina knew she was, refusing to face this alone, she wasn’t quite selfish enough to make Rei stay awake with her. But maybe that was selfishness, too. Rei would take her to a hospital, Rei would get Usagi, Rei would scream about doing something no matter how much Mina knew it was useless. That thing had stared deep into Mina’s eyes, when it had stung her, and as the poison entered her veins, Mina felt the impressions of everything it had come from, saw that it was something Usagi couldn’t even touch. She felt the joy of its heart as it knew Minako Aino, Sailor Venus, leader of the Senshi for at least this last night, was sentenced to death. So there was no cause for a fuss and an argument for the sake of a few moments of hope. 

Here, in the moonlight, she could look at Rei, her long black hair streaming across the pillow and towards Mina, the one thing inside her that would allow herself to reach out for Mina. Mina touched it, tangled against the blonde of the mat, and she smiled, forgetting for a moment the ache in her chest, the way her lungs felt like a waterlogged sponge. 

Rei slept deeply, and this was for the best. 

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, the truest apology she knew she’d ever given, “For what I’m doing.” 

There was more to it than that, but words weren’t as easy anymore, and so she didn’t need to go into the fact that she was sorry Rei was the strongest, that she was sorry she was turning Rei into her nightlight for that last dark hallway, that she was sorry Rei would have to find her, that she was sorry Rei would tell the others. She was sorry, ever so sorry, that she had loved Rei. Sorrier still that Rei loved her. 

At the end of our lives, we can allow ourselves a little lie, and so Mina let herself believe that Rei would know, someday, that she had loved Mina. She didn’t want Rei to torment herself over it, but she needed to know, somehow, that Rei would look at those long nights when the blonde that tangled in Rei’s hair was Mina’s own, and know there had been love. It hadn’t been the mistake Rei always said it was. 

She let out a weak chuckle as she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. Knowing she had loved Mina would only make Rei think it was more a mistake. She hoped someday Rei would go to that door in her heart, and answer the knock there, even if it wasn’t for Mina. Maybe if she’d had more time. Maybe if Rei had been worn down a little more by life. Maybe if a million things that were never going to have the chance to happen. 

It was hard, now. She could just die here, up against the wall, as night cast long shadows over the room. But Mina was selfish. She knew that about herself, and that isn’t what she wanted. She opened her eyes, and dug deep, and pressed herself off the wall, tumbling forward onto her elbows. 

Don’t wake up, Rei. Listen to me, for once. 

She pulled herself forward, every breath sliding another dagger into her chest. She had to hurry, if she wanted what she wanted. It wasn’t far now. It wasn’t long now. 

With one more great heave, spots appearing before her eyes, she laid with her chest to Rei’s back, curling a hand around Rei’s waist, the smoke and plum scent of her the only lullaby Mina needed to be rocked to a long, dark sleep. 

“I love you,” she said, quietly, finally, “You love me.” 

The moon moved behind a cloud, and the long shadow of night that had been tiptoeing at the edges filled the room, and there was a smile hidden in the darkness, as Mina got what she wanted.

[kny111]

I know I haven’t really updated on here. Fatherhood can be really tiring and time consuming as it is a blessing and will change who you are for the better, at least for me. I’ve been away from a lot of the subjects I used to normally post about until recently, that’s because I picked up the energy and interest for science journalism again. To say I went off to have a long waited talk with nature is to minimize greatly the kind of transformations I’ve undergone. The mysteries she’s shown me far greater than any cosmic unknown that I could have ever imagined of. I know a lot of the folks who used to follow this blog might be surprised to know that within that journey I’ve seen, experienced and have been in communion with some really influential spirits of old. Nature’s hidden variables. Whatever you want to call it. Something occurred when I decided to take more seriously the religions and spirituality of my ancestors. Something that only reinvigorated my love for science and the unknown, physics, art, and expression of these things for beneficial communal use. I’m from Quisqueya, the first testing grounds for colonialism and subsequently the evolution of neo-colonialism. Not too long after and we become one of the first pit stop for the trans-Atlantic slave trading markets to proliferate and spin the rest of the world off into the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy hell branch of a reality we know of today. Our little island has undergone so many transformations and inclusion of peoples, cultures, so many I only recently found out of like how Haitians took in Jewish refugees during the time of Hitler’s nazism. Because I still deal with mental health issues and depression being one I’ve had since childhood, I sometimes don’t have near enough energy to convey how have things been going since my last big update here. My spiritual and religious journey, finding comfort in myself and closure in ways I no longer adhere to. That said I found it beyond amazing how earlier today on October the 14th ‘Indigenous Peoples Day‘ I was drumming away to Tainx music without realizing what day today was without looking at my social media feeds yet. Here I was normally thinking I’m so tired, down and out of trying to keep these cultures alive and I was already doing so instinctively in the truest way I know how.

Like I mentioned, I decided to take more seriously my Afro-Indigenous roots and what it meant to be a Black Dominican Haitian Taino American. It took me on the wildest ride with the unlikeliest subject ranging from seeing quantum entanglement examples right before my eyes, seeing living breathing afrofuturism through my Vodun, Catholic, Christian roots and the functionality of Vodun to incorporate so many ancient parts of being Black into what intuitively led me down a road of self and outward knowledge on the cosmos around me. To then blend these epigenetically installed formulas of spirituality embededd in me by history and nature, incorporate them into my expression of art and self which is one has been like achieving a life long dream I didn’t even know I had. I did so much intuitive shit that was so clearly linked to my identity as an Afro-Indigenx American immigrant along the way that I had erected an altar without knowing it was an altar. I would section and compartmentalize this prototype altar so beautifully and had no clue I was paying respects to my ancestors and spirits of the world until more recently a few months back. When I realized this, it was like a Cambrian explosion occurred in me. I don’t want to get into the details of the abilities it brought out that I already had in me due to prying eyes (ahem surveillance capitalist patriarchy is still outchea at large) but to simply meditate and think on my folks has given me such a renewed and strengthened sense of intuition and appreciation for the past and future that I never knew existed. Sometimes I’ll legit write and prophesize shit out the ass like it’s a normal day it’s wild, shit I never believed in but the science seems to check out with quantum physics and what not. That’d be an explanation for another time. The altar has now evolved to a place I can really go to and express but at the same time it’s something I’ve learned to keep within my own self so that it’s not the altar that’s important, rather the changes I’ve gone through to get to such a place. I write, dream, visualize, laugh, act, improvise, predict based on science, meditate, heal, rehabilitate myself there. But conversely the world speaks to me there, the spirits of old, new, those to be. I know it sounds type wild but it’s gotten normal for me to experience something my old science nerd ass self woulda made fun of me for. But when you get into a connection with ya ancestors like I have and reach the conclusions and deductions I have on the systems that control the planet it gets clearer to see that the Indigenous were right all along on colonialism, it’s gotto go. There’s no place for it in the future if we’re to survive a planet seemingly becoming another Venus. I’d like to think we not gone be fighting each other while some catastrophe bop our asses one time like they did the dinos. That’s one of the main messages they keep tellin me and it’s hard to refute. I’ll try and continue this update on another day as there’s so much in between and concepts and ideas I wanna share about how to move forward on activism and using art to get our ideas about those movements across. The above images span from months, just small droplets of the cool ass journey I been on just trying to maintain some normalcy while playing my part in not helping oppressors of any kind continue proliferating their systems of domination and subjugation. So this first image is from the week not too long ago when I had 2 honey bees flying in and checking out the altar. Then I left an old jar of honey that still had some and they’d return and eat some for like a good week or so. At one point, this matrix-like moment happens when one of them goes into the jar and makes this cool sound I never heard before. The bee had gone in there before many times and never made that specific sound, it was like a lower frequency conch shell or something. When I checked the time it was like 1:23pm or 1:11pm one of those. I was like..... get Neo!! shit was so cool. This next image is really a culmination of my search to learn more about my Afro-Indigenousness which led me to learn more about my Haitianness and the spirituality and religion. From painting Papa Legba paintings before I even knew him, to giving respects to all types of 21 division spirits and Vodun loa before ever even knowing of them. It was as if each part of these religions was trying to show me how much of them was in me in how intuitively I’d gravitate towards these religions despite being still very devoted to science and scientific literacy worldwide. Idk it’s just been a really cool blending of a lot of things I never thought could come together. I found this moth around the time I was reading and thinking deeply on the creator entity in Vodun and some African religions, Gran Maitrex. I’ve always had an interest in creator stories and beings so  when this Golden Moth popped up in the altar (right on the mat I have laid in front of it, facing it, as if it came there to spend its last moments) I was like a little kid. To me it reminds me of those mysteries we’ve yet to discover that can help us in our path to heal ourselves and others if we chose to. The following two are from my walking meditating sessions by the river. They have slightly deeper stories to em about relaxation, overcoming obstacles, predictions I made that day about the sky that I wont get into on here cause it’s exhausting lol. The next image with the wooden branch I brought in from a forest walk is of one of the bees I spoke of flying around the Afro-Indigenx/ Ancient Egypt/ West Africa section of the altar. It did this several times enough for me to note that it liked that particular area. Following non repeating image is of the portrait I did a while back for the Heath Gallery in Harlem on Rein-visioning Brown and Black Bodies in Scifi: Story of 4 Tainx sisters calling for their descendants to help them from the demonic wrath of colonialism. This picture I took when I finally got to take my ass out to jog after a whole day of being a dad. I found a neat tree to try and climb at night and found this beautiful bright green grasshopper right by the branch I picked. Grasshoppers always remind me of giant leaps I could be taking forward. The following image I took during another forest walk when I looked up and saw this cool cross shape juxstapositioned among the trees. Last image I took during the Medieval festival they hold at Fort Tryon every year. It’s where I sold my awesome Medieval chicken paintings (which have now taken place at altar where I give em much love) last year dressed as Obi Wan Kenobi. This year I decided to just enjoy it with bae and did so dressed as Jedi Jesus posing as a Dominican Fryer. More pics on that to come. Just wanted to update yall on the spiritual in case anyone could use these words to benefit em. Yall take care. - Ken

[dailyaudiobible]

04/07/2020 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 31:1-32:27, Luke 12:8-34, Psalms 78:32-55, Proverbs 12:21-23

Today is the 7th day of April, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it’s great to be here with you today coming from the rolling hills of Tennessee and moving out across the Internet into all of the different regions of this earth. It's such a joy, such and honor, such a marvel that this can even happen and that we can be here sharing this patch of history together. Like even that could have been off, right?  You were born 100 years ago and I was born a hundred years from now and we would've missed now together on earth allowing this rhythm of God's word to transform us in our lives. So, we’re fortunate, we’re fortunate to be around this Global Campfire. It could've been different and yet it's not. We’re here taking the next step and I’m glad we can do it. So, we’re continuing to work our way toward the final things that Moses has to say in the book of Deuteronomy before he dies, and a new leader emerges. And, so, we’ll pick up with that story. Deuteronomy chapter 31 verse 1 through 32 verse 27 today. And we’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week.

Commentary:

Okay. So, yesterday in our reading from the Gospel of Luke, Jesus was not making friends, right? He was using His light and shining it, aiming it at the religious establishment. In particular, the scribes and the Pharisees who were there listening to what he had to say. And, so, what He was doing is basically calling out their hypocrisy and revealing how they were perpetuating this, that they were basically teaching everybody to be a hypocrite, to not be true, to be one way on the outside and another way on the inside. So, as we kind of come that…and of course Jesus shined the light on them and they didn't acknowledge…they didn't say, “oh thank…like thank you for showing this to me, showing my falseness to me. How can I live in the light?” Instead, they got together and started plotting against Jesus, right? The darkness hating the exposure of the light and wanting to extinguish the light so that everything would remain hidden in the dark. And they were in such darkness that they didn't know what they were doing, which is why Jesus will ask for them to be forgiven, even as He's being nailed to a cross. And, so, in our reading today, that story is continued and Jesus is saying basically, “there…there is only one way, there isn't this false way that you present to the world and then this other thing that’s going on inside of you that's a relationship with God. Like there’s…there’s only one way and you have two acknowledge me as that way inside and outside because some challenging things are in your future.” And He goes on to tell a story of a of a rich person who built bigger barns, basically. But on the tails of that He’s saying like, “you can prepare for every eventuality you want. You can store up so that you can have an easy life, all that you want, but what if today is your last day? Like what if you’ve got all that built up and you’re like, ‘ahh…now I can coast for a while and you die that day?” And He’s continuing to starkly show us like, “you cannot just external…you cannot just prepare for external eventualities or external pleasures. Like, you have to grow from within and what is within you is what is true and then that will form what happens in your exterior life. You’ve got it backwards.” And we still do today. We think that a bigger house, better this, better car, more reliable this, more money, more bank account, more pleasure, more travel, more experience, more wine, more good food or whatever, that's going to make our lives great. And Jesus is teaching is a fundamental truth about how we were created - if you are at peace within yourself you are at peace in any circumstance and everything can be received with gratitude. So, on a very, very fundamental level what Jesus is after is the reintegration, like so that there's not this hiding, that there’s not this duel self, like this one we present and this one that's real. We just keep trying to make changes from without hoping that they will seep inward into our hearts when it is the change of heart that changes everything else. And, so, to end today all you really need to do is go back over the words of Jesus at the end of our reading. So, let me just read this to us and let's receive this as if Jesus were speaking to us right now, not because I’m reading it but because these are His words that I'm reading. Let’s take these and apply them to our day-to-day.

I'm telling you, don't worry about your life what you will eat and about your body, what you’re gonna wear. Life is more than food. The body is more than clothing. Look at the ravens, they don't sow or reap, they don't keep a storeroom or a barn, yet God feeds them. Aren’t you worth much more than the birds? Can any of you add one moment to his lifespan by worrying? If then you are not able to do even a little thing, why worry about the rest. Consider how the wildflowers grow, they don’t labor or spin thread. Yet, I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these. And that's how God clothes the grass which is in the field today and is thrown into the furnace tomorrow. How much more will He do for you - you of little faith? Don't strive for what you should eat, what you should drink. Don’t be anxious. The Gentile world eagerly seeks all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. So, seek his kingdom and these things will be provided for you. Don't be afraid little flock because your Father delights to give you the kingdom.

Prayer:

We thank You for that encouragement Jesus. We receive that into our innermost selves, into the truest place that we know of within our hearts. We invite You fully to plant these words deeply into our lives. And we also acknowledge that You ended this by basically saying get rid of everything that is holding You back, money if that's what it is, anything else, whatever it is understand that there is inexhaustible treasure in heaven where no one and nothing can steal it away from You. And, so, we acknowledge, we've lived a lot of our lives, most of our lives, from the outside in hoping that if…that if we just keep moving things around, if we just keep on the run, if we just keep motion happening that we’ll be distracted enough to think that something good is happening when we’re just moving around stuff. But You're telling us from within can grow depths of living water. You’re telling us that where our treasure is that's where our heart will be. And, so, we set our affections on You and we seek Your kingdom and we ask that You give us eyes to see and ears to hear it. Lead us into all truth Holy Spirit. Show us the changes that You are making in our lives so that we don't fight against You because we acknowledge that we see in the Scriptures and what we have experienced in life is that You have no problem disrupting us in order to set us free. It’s just this we usually reinterpret disruption as some kind of inconvenience. And, so, we’ll ask You to take it away when You brought it to us in the first place. What You are doing in our lives, let us see this, let us embrace it, let us flow with it we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what is going on around here. So, stay connected.

Reminding you now that the entire book, Sneezing Jesus, all of the chapters are available if you just kind of scroll back in your feed. We finished that over the weekend with the final chapter on Saturday, Sneezing Jesus, which is…yeah…which is very poignant for the times that we are in right now. So, be sure to take advantage of that check that and check that out. It's a gift in these times of…yeah…unrest and disruption. I guess if you want a hard copy of Sneezing Jesus, you can get that anywhere you can get a book, including at the Daily Audio Bible shop at dailyaudiobible.com.

And speaking of the Daily Audio Bible shop, there are a number of resources there for the times that we’re in. And the times that we’re in isn't specific to a virus or something like that. It's day by day step-by-step forward, one step at a time through the Scriptures. And, so…yeah…like this is a…this is a good time where we have a little bit of extra time to…maybe to start journaling, to start writing things down as we go through the Scriptures and as we go through unique times in the world, to chronicle this in our own hand and write down the things that we’re seeing and feeling and saving this for our future generations, showing God's faithfulness in our lives. And, so…yeah…journaling is a big thing around here because remembering is a big thing in the Bible. Like remembering what happens so that you won't forget God's faithfulness. This is all throughout the Bible. And, so, you know, a more modern iteration instead of piling up a bunch of rocks so that when you pass by the road you can say this is what happened here, maybe a more modern way would be to journal, to write things down. And we have a way of trying to type things down a lot in this modern era, but there's…there’s something special about sharpening a pencil, sitting down with the Journal, writing on some good paper and you’re kind of using your body to say what you need to say instead of just kind of typing it on a screen. There is something beautiful about that. And we’ve found the best stuff we could find to do it, stuff that I use most every day myself. And, so, you can find that in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. Some of our Black Wing pencils, our journal that is custom developed, made for us as a community. So, check those things out. Also check out the Global Campfire section of the website. This is stuff that we can use and wear and carry and just remind ourselves, we’re not alone. We have a community. We are going somewhere together as we move through the Bible and…and we can weather these things together. So, check out those resources in the Daily Audio Bible shop as well.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. And I thank you profoundly now and always. Thank you for your partnership. That’s how the Global Campfire keeps burning and I am humbled and grateful. So, there’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you've a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning DAB family this is Tara Batrusee in Texas and about to start another day of trying to keep our business alive. It’s been a roller coaster week relying on God day by day, but I just want to remind myself and all of you that God’s word is true. His word is true to a thousand generations. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of God stands forever. His word does not return void without accomplishing what He set it out to do. And we’re very grateful for Brian and China and the whole Hardin family for feeding us with God’s word. It says in Psalm 50 in verse 14, to offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving and pay your vows to the most-high. Call upon me in the day of trouble I shall rescue you and you will honor me. It says in Psalm 57 verse 2, I will cry to God most-high, to God who accomplishes all things for me. And in Psalm 56 verse 13, for I have delivered my soul from death, indeed my feet from stumbling so that I may walk before God in the light of the living. And in Psalm 59 verse 10 it says, my God in His lovingkindness will meet me. And in verse 17 it says, oh strength I will sing praises for God is my stronghold, the God who shows me lovingkindness. Don’t give up DAB family. Tomorrow’s another day and He’s given us this day. So, praise Him because He inhabits the praises of His people. Much love to you all. Bye.

Good morning my name is Lionel I’m from South Florida. First and foremost, Brian thank you for making this platform available because I enjoy listening to you every day and hearing the word of God. Today I ask for prayers for myself and all my fellow first responders. I’m a law enforcement officer as is my wife. And as I’m sure you know we don’t stop for anything. We go to work no matter what. And I pray and ask for prayers for myself, my wife, for all of our first responders, brothers and sisters, for all the healthcare workers during this very difficult time that we find ourselves in. And it’s scary, it’s really scary. I’m 43 years old and hear stories every day of healthy people my age getting sick and dying in a week and half. and it brings a lot of anxiety to me and I’m been praying about it and asking God to take the anxiety from me. I’ve been blessed. It’s a very scary time. And, so, I would ask for prayers and all of you DABBers and your families who are out there to, stay healthy and support one another. And again, thank you.

Hi DAB family this is Emmy from Illinois. Most of you know that my marriage has been struggling for at least the last year. And I just wanted to call in with an update and then just to pray for marriages in general. But my marriage is still struggling. My husband is back in “this is never gonna work” and for some reason he thinks that because we’re not quote unquote compatible that that gives him freedom to treat me poorly. So, life is a little bit miserable and then you add the stress of the coronavirus and everything else, things just are exacerbated and I know my marriage is probably not the only one that is going through struggles because of stress on each person and how each of us deals with this. Some of us are in tune to the news constantly others of us are sticking our head in the sand and wanting to ignore and just continue life as normal and there’s everything in between and how we react to stress. So, I just wanted to lift marriages up and families. Father God, I just ask that You would bring a piece to each of us individually, to our families and our spouses. God I just ask that You would use this time as a time to create new bonds and allow us to each be grace filled towards our spouses and our children as they may be reacting differently than they normally would or maybe they’re reacting the same but it feels worse than normal. God I just ask for healing and that You would restore marriages at this time, that Your power would be done, Your mighty glory would be shown in Your name. Amen.

Hey Daily Audio Bible I just want to say feel like I have so much disappointment in myself and my thoughts overtake me all the time. I mean there are a lot of times where I feel like I can’t be in God’s presence but I still think evil things and I just like sometimes I feels like it’s like something’s whispering in my ear but at the same time just these wild thoughts. I feel like sometimes it’s not even me. So, I don’t know why, and you know, it’s hard because I want to have faith and I want to be complete. So, if you’d be willing to pray for me to understand, have obedience, and to have a better heart because it feels like completely callused heart, just anger from God. So, I just…if…if you’d be willing I thank you. I hope you have a good day.

My rock and the hard place by Francis Parker.

I came up to a river dark and deep and swift and wide I wondered how I’d ever safely reach the other side there was no one to ferry such a current none could swim the Lord had led me to this place and so I questioned him wade in he said so gingerly I took a doubting step the water was so black and cold and far beyond my depths the stinking mud oozed up around my hesitating feet And murphy grinning ripples came maliciously to meet And then he spoke and low the threatening waters turned and fled In awful thrusting haste they left to leave their stony bed the downstream surges turned and tumbled frantically away while from the evil source the water simply stopped and stayed so quick the whelming threat had passed with grateful heart I crossed the cobble path He made for me where roiling waves had tossed And then He said now get some rocks and come and build a stack So to that rocky river bed I went and brought some back now pile them up from this day forth reminders shall they be that things impossible for you are not at all for me and so I did I stacked up faith I stacked up confidence and he’s my shield and trust in him and he is my defense I looked upon that stack a while fixed it in my mind in case of trouble still ahead that I might chance to find and then when trouble threatens I’ll look at my stack and see hard evidence that He provides and loves and cares for me and so with Him I’ll face each day with joy that hope affords because I know that come what may the battle is the Lord’s

Blessings to you all. Love this global community with all your different accents and all your different places of residence it’s like on earth as it will be in heaven. Thanks.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family I am just calling in to let you know I’m praying for all of you. I pray for all of your requests and I am so thankful for this community. What a blessing. What an amazing bunch of technology that is just coming to us right now in a time when we can’t get to our regular churches and our regular Bible studies. And it’s just wonderful. Thank you so much Brian Hardin. And thank you to all of you who call in. I’m not gonna mention names. I have been listening for over 10 years. I used to listen on my Zoom if you know what that is. That’s an old thing. Anyway, you all be very safe, take the precautions that the authorities are telling us to take and let’s get through this thing and keep in touch. And my name is Gramma G and I’m in Fort Lauderdale Florida. God bless you all. Bye.

[thefallenofbajhiri]

13. A memory of a friend

There was only silence to really come from the Au Ra as the flames of the nearby fireplace flickered casting their light on the otherwise dark room. Why was he left alone at times when he likely needed someone the most? There were rarely times where the Au Ra craved for the company of someone familiar... in fact, such times were very rare and were only now becoming more common as the man was finding... ‘relics’ of the past so to speak.

Slowly Toshinaku brought his hand that had been resting under his chin down and slowly he dipped it into the silken shawl that draped gently over his breast. He’d feel around for a moment before his clawed fingers would find what they sought and hooked around the chain necklace before gently pulling it out from it’s hidden pocket within the shawl. The gentle sound of bone clattering against bone could be heard as the charms on the necklace were pulled free.

One golden clawed finger ran over the three trinkets that were connected to that chain... each one meaning something and tying to a person in his past life. Three arrows and each with their own special design that was meant for the other piece that connected to them. Slowly that clawed finger stopped on the first... a delicately engraved name on the shaft of the bow. ‘Sizha’ is what it read and the arrow had more plumes of feathers on the end with a smaller piece that hung down from the base of where those plumes were, a small heart on the end of it. The name had been painted in with black ink and looked as though it was an attempt to scrawl it away... but it had only made the name stand out even more. Rolling it between his fingers the Voidsent just frowned... the back had some more ink on it though it had been smudged and smeared. Of course if anyone could get close enough they could likely make out the phrase ‘Forgive Me...’ or at least fragments of the words that were once there. 

Carefully he let the arrow drop to the side of his hand before his finger gently grazed over the next. This one... had a greater amount of ink on it where the engravement was and even if someone got close enough they would have to look deep just to make out the name written. The ink itself had completely stained the bone black and it did its job in obscuring the name that was just as dead as his former self. A time from his youth, back when a young Keeper from another branch of the Bajhiri clan would be his playmate whenever the clans got together... Toshi didn’t know anything of what happened but he knew well enough that whatever did happen... it wasn’t the easiest and so much pain likely came from it. No doubt it was a pain he could potentially relate to in some way, then again... how could he relate to anyone now with what he had become? The Voidsent frowned more deeply as he carefully rolled the trinket over, the small flowers and blossoms that lined the top of the arrow where the feathers were biting into his skin a bit due to the sharp edges they had now. On the blackened bone was white ink... and the name there read as “Sebha’to”... when had he changed it? When did he write it down for that matter? The ink looked like it was being well kept and if it ever faded it seemed as though the man would go out of his way to keep it pristine...

Carefully he rolled it to the side and he finally came to the third and final Arrow charm that was on the golden chain. This one, out of the three, seemed to be in the most pristine condition of them all looking at though it had never aged or saw wear over the years. And there, the truest look of sadness and pain to come showed. The arrow itself was larger than the other two and it had far greater details on it compared to the others... a sign of just how much this particular one meant to the Voidsent. The first arrow had the least detail of them all, the second showed the love and care that was put into it but this one... the amount of detail poured into it was astounding. The detail put into the arrow from the head to the feathered end... hanging just below the feathers was a smaller trinket much in the same manner as the first arrow but this one had what appeared to be a tooth hanging from it, and next to it a small vial. And in the vial a small amount of herbs with the smallest amount of Holy Water to fill it as much as possible. There were also other little details, some newer and others... hinting at the Clan mate that this particular trinket was made for but the two smaller ‘charms’ that hung from the arrow itself were the most focal of the trinket.

There was a small glisten to Toshi’s eyes as he carefully ran a golden claw tip down the engraved name... “Una’a...” the first one of the names he’d speak... and as he spoke it, a tear started to flow down his cheek. The name was actually colored in with Silver and a slightly pearlescent ink that shined whenever it caught the light... and along the shaft where the engravement was gone were delicately drawn sigils and seals, ones similar to the ones that locked away his true form, but far different from his own as well. Had he tried to make his own ward to protect the person that the charm was made for? Another tear started to follow the first and a new one had already started down his other cheek as the Voidsent slowly rolled the charm over “...... Stars cannot shine without Darkness...” the phrase was there... written in a black and purple mixed ink... and carefully dotted in the dark color were flecks of that same silver pearlescent ink... “And you are my Darkness... Una’a...” curling his hand around the Arrow that remained in his palm the Voidsent just slumped forward. 

After a moment he brought his hand up to his forehead and that’s when the tears just started to pour and for once after so many years of never breaking, he sobbed “But was I ever the Stars to your darkness...? Or was I just some blind kitten thinking that I was ever anything important...” he hissed out the last part “A pathetic... stupid... kitten who thought he ever had a chance of actually meaning anything to someone that he looked up to... that... was an in...” slowly those words trailed off into a heavy, choked out sob... he truly was pathetic...  as if Una’a would ever look at him again... if he did, he’d be disgusted surely...

@unatobajhiri - IF I AM GETTING GROUNDED FOR THIS YOU ARE GETTING GROUNDED FOR SENDING THE ASK IN THIS ONE! 

Blooping @nyrs-nook and @skyysinger for mentions of Sebha’to and Nyr >.>

SEND A NUMBER TO EXPERIENCE ONE OF MY MUSE’S MEMORIES

[duelingstreetrat]

My side of a convo I had/am having with @nefertemu:

So I'm reading up a little more on Shinto beliefs and kami and I'm thinking making Joey's belief largely Shinto influenced was a good call

Mostly in thinking of Joey's riddle and why it seems so open ended

So. Kami, right? Spirits. Everything has a spirit. All of the things. And a kami is especially made clear by someone or something being intensely and undeniably itself.

Like. The article I read described it as displaying existence in an awesome way. Like. Seeing breath taking mountains or an especially beautiful waterfall

"Kami as a property is the sacred or mystical element in almost anything. It is in everything and is found everywhere, and is what makes an object itself rather than something else. The word means that which is hidden.

Kami have a specific life-giving, harmonising power, called musubi, and a truthful will, called makoto (also translated as sincerity)."

So like. Taking this, and how kami, in every sense, simply seems to be how the energy of something makes it aggressively it's truest self, makes me think to Joey's riddle.

"What can be shown, but is invisible?"

It's never meant to have a definite answer when taking the nature of kami in Shintoism into account as far as Joey's cultural influences.

Instead, it seems to be beckoning for introspection of some sort. Asking the one answering to examine themselves and those around them and picking what's so undeniably there that they couldn't ignore it, even if it wasn't blatant for others to see.

Joey answers this himself by saying his friendship with Yugi was the answer. After possibly months of bullying him, Joey was finally able to see all the effort Yugi put in to make their relationship one of friendliness, even with how badly Joey treated him. Yugi protecting him even if he couldn't fight. Yugi's patience in the face of Joey's aggression. It finally slapped Jou in the face and he was like "How did I not see it before?"

The answer was because it was invisible, not because it wasn't there.

So Joey, who at this point knows how important it is to see things for what they are, proposes this question to Mai.

And she thinks on it a while. Thinks on it so much that she has to beat more duelists for extra starchips to give herself more time to think on this more deeply.

And then she proposes this question to Atem (then Yami Yugi), and explains that her answer was her own weakness. I don't remember her exact words, but I know she essentially sat Atem/Yugi down and said "You either acknowledge your own weakness or you let it defeat you"....

That all being said, I wish Atem/Yugi used this riddle on Kaiba.

As both a sign of friendship and a call for introspection and examination.

OTL it would've been nice...

But yeah, anyway, Joey is sometimes ridiculously observant and I love him when he's not

[polyputthekettleon]

K is now D, and I am slowly learning to accept it.

Life partner news update: K is trans. Assigned male at birth, for the last few months she's been playing with gender and trying to figure out what stuff feels truest for her, and this is the path where she's ended up -- though what that will ultimately mean, who knows?

She is trans. She is a woman. And she has picked a new name (at least a new for-now name; she may shift to something different in the future when she's more settled in her true self), and I feel like I should give her a new letter. Let's go with D.

Last night we were so grumpy with each other. To be fair, we were also stoned*, but we were so, so, SO grumpy. And we kept triggering each other every time we tried to talk last night and it really was turning into a mess.

After calming down, D came back into the bedroom and had me lay upside down in the center of the bed, then spread and tied my arms and started to hit me. When I didn't keep my legs down, she tied those apart too, blindfolded me, and kept hitting me. I felt so vulnerable and scared, wide fucking open.

We haven't played like that since she discovered her transgendered-ness -- actually since she started dating her partner O a couple months ago. I've been longing to play with her, generally craving the safety and comfort I feel in our dynamic and enjoying how well-connected with her I tend to feel after she tops me.

Last night... Last night she broke open my grief in a way that hadn't happened yet. Just a few hits, some gentle touches, and I have to alert her that I'm struggling to avoid calling her Daddy or Deadname. She reassures me that she'll remind me if I slip up, and something about hearing that slams my heart into the floor. Those are not her names. I feel myself shatter. Panicking, I ask for a kiss, then start breathing fast as she leans down. The kiss is lingering and soft, and I start to cry.

She asks me what's going on for me, and I'm so reluctant to say I just shake my head and try to smile with my tears hidden behind the blindfold but she keeps hitting and pinching and eventually I share that I'm "practicing saying goodbye to you."

She asks who I'm saying goodbye to. I can't bring myself to respond.

More hitting, more grabbing.

She asked again. I gulp. Whimper. Deep breath. I whisper her old name, and then I break the fuck down.

Open mouthed, grimacing, wracking sobs. Weeping into my blindfold while she watched. Only the lightest of hurts needed know, to pull new pain-filled sobs from my body. It feels like she has stolen a secret from me.

My grief wasn't supposed to be seen by her.

I feel raw as hell now. No skin, no armor. Just my heart, huge and aching. The kind of grief that seeps into everything.

I felt angry with her for exposing my grief. I had been working to keep it masked, at least somewhat protecting her from my sense of loss. Not that it matters, really -- she let me know she had assumed I was crying in private anyway.

Maybe I still feel angry.

Afterwards, she kept me tied to the bed and layed down next to me with her head on first my arm and my then my chest, and she told me how K had worked so hard, so very very hard, to carry her this far. And how much it had hurt K, and how tired they were, and that now she was here and she could take over that work and finally let K rest. And I wanted to wrap her in my arms and brush her tears away, and asked to be untied, and she said no.

I think she needed that control in that moment. Wanted to be able to share her feelings with minimal risk of interruption. I hurt to feel so unable to hold her.

I know I feel wrung out, the way I get when I am deeply grieving. Waking up after four hours of sleep with my brain racing. But I recognize I'm doing good work within all this -- last night before I slept I wrote my first goodbye letter to K. I'll add it in here in a separate post.

I feel like I want to do shadow work with her -- I want us to speak in behalf of vour shadow selves, show them to one another, and intentionally communicate acceptance of those imperfect people to each other. Hold our guilt and grief and anger and jealousy and everything else, and still say to each other, "I see you, and I am okay with you."

This is NOT a journey for the fragile hearted.

---------------

* PSA: Don't kink under the influence of ANYTHING unless you and your partner know what the fuck you're doing, and make sure to be extra attentive to what's going on if either of you have imbibed. Practice RACK. Thank you!

[codyrichards91]

Reiki Therapy Certification All Time Best Cool Tips

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[womenofcolor15]

Jada Pinkett Smith Just Dropped The Ultimate 'RTT'; She Admits To A Relationship 'Entanglement' With August Alsina, Says She & Will Were 'Separated'

Welp.  Jada Pinkett Smith delivered her "healing" Red Table Talk as promised. And despite her original "All lies" reaction, she seemingly confirms everything August Alsina claimed.  Deets inside.

  Jada brought herself to the Red Table as promised, with her husband Will Smith as well, to chat about singer August Alsina's bomb he dropped a recently about his and Jada's apparent relationship that has now ended.  All while she was still very married to Will.

Now, she admits she did have a relationship with the singer, and reveals she and Will were actually separated at

While The Smiths have been rumored to have an open marriage of sorts, they've often shot down those rumors, even when seemingly stirring them back up themselves with who they're seen with and things they say about their relationship in interviews.

So when Jada and singer August Alsina were so openly sharing pics of themselves together and vacationing with the Smith family - often - it was only natural that we all thought something was going on between the two.

Years later, while talking to Angela Yee about his new album less than two weeks ago, August confirmed there was.  He said about Jada:

“I totally gave myself to that relationship for years of my life, and I truly and really, really deeply love and have a ton of love for her. I devoted myself to it, I gave my full self to it—so much so to the point that I can die right now and be OK with knowing that I truly gave myself to somebody.”

August, who says he's now abstinent, said it's his truth, so he's going to talk about it.

“I really loved a person, I experienced that and I know what that feels like—and some people never get that in this lifetime. I know that I am completely blessed and this conversation is difficult because it is so much, that it would be hard for people to understand but—once it starts to affect me and my livelihood—I have to speak up about my truth.”

Then, all hell broke loose.

          View this post on Instagram

                  God said, We may grow weary and tired fighting in the fire, but we shall NOT be burned! The journey to freedom is a deeply complex, tricky, and turbulent road to tow; yet very necessary. Oppression comes in so many forms these days, beginning w/ physical slavery and bondage to the white man, then passed down generational programming that manifest into mental enslavement. Slaves to an idea, slaves to an image, slaves to a code of conduct, slaves to a picture you’ve created in your mind.. even if it contains many falsities.. & anything that differentiates from your “idea” & “image” feels like an attack. & I get it; not only do i get it but I’m also sorry you feel that way, BUT, The only attack here is against the invisible walls of silent societal construct and “code” we place upon each other & upon ourselves hidden behind the desires of others approval & acceptance; another form of slavery & bondage that blocks one’s truest self from showing & spirit flow. Be blocked and stuck for what? Live silent, pressed down crippled in fear for who ? Adversary is but a gift given to you to flourish. We are surround by so much disharmony in this external world, so it is my forever job to do whatever’s necessary to reach the gift of harmony within myself. Truth & Transparency makes us uncomfortable, yes, but i can’t apologize for that. A tower of truth can never fall, only a tower of lies can do that. My truth is MY truth, & its mine to own. There is no right or wrong here, it simply just IS. & I make room and have acceptance for your thoughts and opinions, regardless if I agree or not, you have that freedom to feel WHATEVER it is u feel because when you’re at TRUE peace, all of the noise and chatter becomes that of a whisper. My heart has no malice or hate toward anyone on this planet. I just simply want the chains off & I’m willing to DIE getting there. The gift of freedom is yours to have, God promises us that, but only if you’re willing. &God is not a man that HE should lie.. & I’m His SON, so neither would I. W/ that being said i should also say that, no one was side swiped by any conversation, everyone got courtesy calls time in advance. Wishing Everyone Big Love!

A post shared by Yungin' (@augustalsina) on Jul 3, 2020 at 1:12pm PDT

  Jada responded with "All lies!" on her social media platforms, then August wrote a LENGTHY rebuttal (above) to that bascially saying "I said what I said AND I called you before saying it," then Jada said "we have some healing to do at the Red Table."  So here we are.  You can watch the new RTT episode in full below:

Jada and Will address the recent headlines and share their journey of finding peace through pain.

Posted by Red Table Talk on Friday, July 10, 2020

  While discussing how the "relationship" with August went down, Will and Jada revealed they had previously separated.

Smith replied, "I was done with you." "We broke up," she said, clarifying. "We decided that we were going to separate for a period of time."

"And then what did you do, Jada?" Smith asked.

"From there as time went on I got into a different kind of entanglement with August. One thing I want to clean up… about you giving 'permission' which is... the only person that can give permission in that circumstance is myself," she said.

She continued, "But what August was probably trying to communicate because I could see how he could see it as permission because we were separated amicably, and I think he wanted to make it clear he’s not a homewrecker because he’s not."

Smith asked her to clarify what she meant by "entanglement," to which she said, "Yes, it was a relationship absolutely."

Hmph.  Sounds like August told the truth to us. 

It's important to note, he didn't say he received Will's "permission."  He said he received his blessing. He said:

“I actually sat down with Will [Smith] and had a conversation due to the transformation from their marriage to life partnership… He gave me his blessing.”

That's that on that. Your thoughts?

  Photos: Tinseltown for Shutterstock.com/Getty

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