#my trash fan fiction

[shinonometrash]

Unsought Education

Court of Darkness Fan Fiction - Short Story

Rating: Teen

Characters featured in this story: Lou, Nix, Fenn Luxure, Toa Qelsum, Roy Invidia, Guy Avari, Lynt Akedia, Jasper Lane, MC

Fenn decides to host a special lecture for the S-ranks...Clearly there’s absolutely no reason one would need to be concerned, right?

You can check out other content that I’ve written/made by clicking here!

One typical afternoon at The Royal Academy of Concordia–

Lou finishes the last of his work for the day, filing the final document away in its designated cabinet.

Lou: Hmm…what shall I do for the rest of the day?

His eyes glance around the room before falling on his crystal ball.

Lou: Ah. I should check in on the princes.

Nodding to himself, he waves his hands and a hazy image of the S-Rank lounge is conjured within the glass sphere.

As the picture becomes clearer, Lou sees nothing particularly out of the ordinary.

Toa and Guy are reading books, sitting as far away from one another as the current furniture layout will allow.

Roy and Jasper are discussing the latest tea blends while sipping from cups of freshly brewed tea.

And, as usual, Lynt is dozing peacefully on the sofa.

Lou frowns slightly, disappointed at the peacefulness of the situation.

Lou: Perhaps I should add some excitement myself…

He begins to think of different ways to make things a bit more lively.

Nix: Lou.

Lou jumps slightly at the unexpected appearance of his familiar right behind him.

Lou: Yes, Nix?

Nix: It would do you well to remember that you are the headmaster of this academy, a responsible person of high authority.

Lou: Whatever might you mean?

Nix: Your current expression is the one that you wear when you are about to pull a prank.

Lou: “Pranks”? I prefer to think of it as…introducing challenges to ensure that the princes stay alert and adept at dealing with new situations.

Nix: Yes, well, if I recall correctly, I believe you recently “introduced” one of your little “challenges” to the princes less than a week ago, did you not? I suggest that you refrain yourself and allow them time to rest.

His expression shifting to an annoyed pout, Lou is about to protest when a sudden movement in the crystal ball captures his attention.

–

Fenn walks through the door of the S-rank lounge, dragging a giant chalkboard behind him.

Fenn: Hello my darling students~! Today you shall be referring to me as Professor Fenn, as I will be hosting a special lecture in this very room for all of those lucky enough to be present!

Toa sighs at the appearance of the noisy Luxurean prince.

Toa: Fenn.

The sternness in his voice makes Fenn laugh merrily.

Fenn: Didn’t you say that I should take my teaching duties more seriously~?

Toa: Yes, the teaching duties expected of you as a professor at this academy. Nobody here requires nor desires any of your “teachings”.

Fenn: Come on Toa, don’t be like that!

Toa: Go teach your actual students.

Fenn ignores Toa’s annoyed comment and begins setting up the chalkboard. A moment later, a presentation board makes its appearance as well, floating across the room to land next to the chalkboard.

Fenn: Ahem, today I shall be teaching you all about a very crucial topic!

Roy: Crucial topic…?

Fenn: Why, today is the day that I teach you all how babies are made! Please note, I will be offering hands on teaching as well, should anybody be interested after class~

Roy: M-Master Luxure, do you believe this is really necessary…?

Toa: We’re all adults here, I’m certain everybody is aware of how such things happen, Fenn.

Fenn: But are you, Toa? Are you really? Have you had the personal experience of making a baby before, Toa?

Toa: …

Guy quietly snorts in amusement, but then proceeds to roll his eyes, entirely uninterested in further entertaining Fenn’s usual antics.

Fenn: You see, this is why I must guide you all with my teachings!

Lynt’s eyes open sleepily before tilting his head curiously.

Lynt: You’re going to make babies with us, Fenn?

Fenn: That’s the spirit, Lynt!

Fenn: To be precise, I shall be teaching you how to thoroughly satisfy your partner during the process of making babies, without actually making babies.

Lynt: Pwaghhh…you can…wake me up when it’s over…

Fenn: Aaaaand we lost him again…

Fenn looks at Lynt disappointedly, but then immediately perks back up and continues.

Fenn: Now let us begin!

With a mildly exasperated scowl, Guy looks up at Fenn momentarily, and then returns his attention to his book.

But not before very subtly flicking a glance towards his valet’s direction.

Without a word, Jasper, who had been calmly sipping his tea as he watched the events of the room unfold, sets down his teacup and smoothly pulls a small journal and quill from his jacket.

Fenn: First we shall begin with some diagrams!

Fenn removes the first piece of paper to reveal the diagram of a–

~

Lou: ???

Lou: How odd…the diagram appears to be blurred.

Lou looks closer, but is unable to identify the object or thing being displayed.

Lou: Perhaps I need to do some fine tuning to the spell later…

Not thinking much of it, Lou returns to watching intently.

~

Fenn: Now then, to start at the basics! What is this here called? Any guesses?

Fenn waits for a response, but nobody makes any attempts to answer his question.

Fenn: Toa, do you know?

Toa: Fenn, I refuse to participate in your ridiculous performance.

Fenn: Come on, Toa! Surely somebody as studious as yourself would be interested in learning how to properly please a lady~?

Fenn: Or a man, for that matter~

Fenn turns his head and shoots a wink towards an empty space, almost as if he were winking at an invisible camera.

Toa: Why are you winking at nothingness? Have you at last gone fully mad?

Fenn: You never know who may be watching, Toa.

Fenn turns his head and winks once more.

Toa: …

Electing not to respond to Fenn’s nonsensical comment, Toa instead returns his gaze towards the book in his hands.

Toa: As for your prior question…I have no interest in such topics.

Fenn: Why, you say that, and yet that very book you are reading right now contains quite the explicit scenes as well, does it not?

Toa: …I do not know what you are speaking of.

Fenn: Oh~? Is that so…

Walking closer, Fenn peers at the open book in Toa’s hands.

Fenn: Would I be correct in assuming that you are approximately two-thirds through the novel at this time?

Toa: …Yes…

Fenn: Hmmm…well, in that case, perhaps I can jog your memory!

Fenn: For example~ Page 228, was it?

Toa freezes, his face turning even paler than usual–a feat in itself.

Fenn seizes this opportunity to take the book from Toa’s hands, quickly flipping through the pages.

Fenn: Let’s see here…page 228…

Fenn: Ah, yes, here we are!

Fenn: “He pulls away from their passionate kiss, his eyes shining with lust. “If…If we continue any longer, I-I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself…””

Fenn reads out the lines dramatically, much to Toa’s horror.

Fenn: ““It’s okay, I don’t want you to stop. I want you too, you know,” she whispers breathily, her hand trailing further and further down until she reaches his–

Toa grabs the book from Fenn’s hands, slamming it shut before the Luxurean prince can continue reading aloud.

Toa: I…I merely skimmed over those sections…

Fenn: Sure you did, Toa.

Toa: M-More importantly…how do you know this book so well?

Fenn: Hehe, I have my ways, dear Toa~

Fenn flashes Toa a flirty wink before returning to the presentation board.

Fenn: I ask once again, can anybody tell me what this is?

Fenn looks around the room, but nobody except Jasper seems to be paying any attention.

Fenn: Jasper? Do you know?

Jasper: I am merely a silent observer, Master Luxure, please, pretend as if I am not present.

Fenn: Bahh…why is nobody any fun here??

Returning to the chalkboard, Fenn is about to give out the answer when Roy calmly raises his hand.

Thrilled that finally somebody is willing to participate, Fenn calls on Roy.

Fenn: Roy?

Roy: That is known as the [censored].

Fenn: Indeed it is! And what are you meant to do with the [censored]? Roy: First you [censored], then very carefully [censored].

~

Lou: Hm? Again? 

Lou looks around in search of one of his familiars.

Lou: Nix, I think there’s something wrong with my crystal ball.

Nix: Why is that?

Lou: Several parts of their conversation are being replaced with an extended beep noise and the diagrams are blurred.

Nix: Ah. That.

Nix: Phinny and I made some modifications to censor certain views or conversations.

Lou: And for what reason would that be necessary?

Nix: Some people do prefer to have their privacy, Lou.

~

Roy: -and then you [censored] and [censored] your partner with your [censored] and [censored], correct?

Fenn: Why, yes Roy! You are entirely correct!

Fenn: Although you mustn’t forget to always [censored].

Roy: Ah, indeed. It is very important to always [censored].

Things continue on in this manner–and what once was Fenn’s “lesson” has now transformed into a strange type of Q&A style informational between Fenn and Roy.

Nobody knows quite what to make of it.

Even Lynt at some point has awoken from his nap and is sharing uncomfortable glances with the other two S-ranks present.

It’s clear that everybody is thinking the same thing. “How does he know so much about this…?”

~ Lou: This is a rather enlightening experience on many levels. Wouldn’t you agree, Nix?

Nix: “Enlightening” is one word to describe it, yes…

~

The door to the S-rank lounge suddenly opens.

MC: Hello~

Seeing everybody with a shocked yet uncomfortable expression on their face, she pauses in concern.

MC: Um, what’s with everyone’s expressions right now? What happened…?

Fenn comes over in greeting while beginning to gently herd her towards the front of the room.

Fenn: Oh, how wonderful Treasure! We were just in the middle of a lesson, you see! Perhaps you can provide some of your own input~?

MC: Sure, if you think I’d be any hel-...

Her gaze falls on the chalkboard and presentation board.

Her face immediately turns a bright red.

MC: Um! Actually! I just remembered I have plans with Sherry and Rio in the refectory!

MC: Sorry, gotta go!

She turns around and hurriedly rushes out of the room, much to Fenn’s disappointment.

Fenn sighs sadly, but quickly recovers as he returns to his spot in the front of the room.

Fenn: Now then, shall we continue~?

~

Lou: I should check in on the S-ranks more often.

Nix: Aren’t you already watching them quite often in your free time?

Lou: Yes, but I’m saying I should watch them even more regularly. There may be much valuable information to be gained that would otherwise be missed, such as today!

Rather than replying, Nix instead chooses to let out a weary sigh.

The End.

~~

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You can check out other content that I’ve written/made by clicking here!

[e-vay]

Savor Every Second - A Sonamy “First Time” One-Shot

[A/N: Yes, the title means what you think it means! Rated T. This fic is also available on AO3 if you prefer to read it there.]

[Additional note: I listened to "Sleep Well” - d4vd while writing this]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Chaos Emeralds coming your way,” Super Sonic stated into the communicator on his wrist. He used two fingers to salute to his friends flying nearby in the biplane. He balled his hands into fists and braced his arms across his chest before throwing them outwards, expelling the seven Chaos Emeralds from him and into the dusk.

“I’ve tracked their trajectories!” Tails shouted excitedly. The plane made a tactical turn and headed in a pointed direction. “Great work, Sonic! Knuckles and I will work on collecting them. You take it easy and we’ll regroup tomorrow to go over…”

Sonic yanked his communicator off him and tossed it to the ground below, not able to focus on the fox’s instructions. As he slowly drifted to the ground, his fur fading from a vibrant glowing gold to its regular cobalt shade, his attention was entirely on the pink hedgehog in the distance running towards him. Her grin stretched from both corners of her muzzle and tears were welling up in her eyes.

Amy waved one arm in the air to signal the hedgehog slowly descending from the setting sky. She laughed incredulously and blinked away her tears. She knew better than to doubt her team (and especially the hero she had been calling “boyfriend” for the last several months), but this adventure was an especially close call. There was sure to be a huge celebration with the gang after they met back up for debriefing, but at the moment all she wanted was to wrap Sonic in her arms and revel in the fact they managed to survive this most recent campaign.

As the distance closed between the two, Amy couldn’t help but notice Sonic’s eyes darken once they locked with hers. That intense gaze made her weak in the knees and she had to slow her gate to keep herself from tripping. The second his feet touched the ground, he sprinted to her at full speed and swept her up in his arms, pressing his lips into hers. She kissed him back with equal passion, thrilled to be in his embrace. Their lips communicated without the use of words: I love you. Thank Chaos you’re alive. Thank Chaos you’re mine.

Sonic never made his concern apparent whenever they were waging war with whatever latest enemy crossed their path, but this time was too close for comfort. Sure they’d had near-death-experiences before (an occupational hazard), but not since he and Amy had officially started their romantic relationship. What if they didn’t make it this time? What if he couldn’t tell her he loved her once more, couldn’t hear her contagious laughter again, breathe in her scent, taste her… He steeled himself during battle to make sure that wouldn’t happen, but it did put everything into perspective for him. 

He needed to savor every second with her.

Sonic slid a hand up Amy’s back and clutched the nape of her neck, soliciting a dreamy sigh from his mate. He used the opportunity to open his mouth to hers as well, deepening the kiss. With careful coordination, he dropped to his knees and leaned forward, resting Amy on her back but not leaving any space between them while doing so. She mindlessly hooked her legs over his hips to bring him even closer. Her fingers laced their way into his quills and the sensual tugging made his fur stand on end. 

He finally broke the kiss just to smother his lips down her muzzle, under her chin and into the crook of her neck. The feel of his mouth against her and his hot panting made Amy tremble beneath him. The two had spent the last several months kissing and even enjoyed some not-so-innocent “exploration” here and there, but she was certain she’d never get used to this. His touch caused her to swelter and radiate so much heat that she was convinced she’d burn him. She let out a sharp gasp and writhed under him when he sucked on a particularly tender spot near her clavicle. Amy loved that he not only discovered that secret weakness of hers; he exploited it often. “Sonic,” she exhaled longingly.

The hoarse sound of his name on her breath sent pounding waves of electricity throughout his entire being. He wanted to hear more of it, in varying pitches and volumes.  

As his lips made their way back up to meet hers, his hands snaked down her delicate frame. Her form baffled and mesmerized him. She was so strong with such firm, toned muscles and yet some areas of her body were so splendidly soft and malleable in his hands. He traced her sides, her waist, her hips, finally gripping hungrily onto her thighs that were so tightly wrapped around him. They could feel the pummeling of each other’s heartbeats with how tightly their chests were pressed together, but it still wasn’t close enough. He needed to be a part of her.

“I love you,” Sonic moaned breathlessly into Amy’s mouth. Releasing his grasp from her thighs, he placed his hands on either side of her face and directed her to look up at him. His eyes roved over her as he hoped he could communicate this next part as urgently as he felt it. 

“I need you.”

It was as much a statement of fact as it was a desperate, ravenous plea. 

Amy’s breath hitched. This was finally it: the threshold they had danced dangerously close to but hadn’t yet crossed. The yearning fire broiling in her lower torso was so intense that only two words were able to escape her quivering lips.

“Have me.”

The split-second she gave her permission, Sonic bit the tip of his fingers and quickly yanked off his gloves before using his bare hands to rip open her dress.

♥ ♥ ♥

Amy’s eyes fluttered open from her slumber and for a moment she couldn’t recall where she was. She blinked until her eyes adjusted to the darkness and it was revealed she was in her bedroom. She raised her arms above her head for a full-body stretch, but a tender ache in her lower half stopped her short.

It wasn’t a dream. She combed her mess of quills from her face and laughed in disbelief.

What had started out there on the forest floor continued back here at her home. Her cheeks grew warm as she recollected everything that transpired. But with so many rounds that went on for Chaos-knows how many hours, some of the details got a little hazy. That was okay. She had plenty of mental snapshots to enjoy: his vivid green eyes boring into hers, their tangled forms writhing in the moonlight, the delicious harmony of their moans, his… dedication.

Amy decided she’d better snap herself out of it before she got too riled up again and awoke Sonic. Sonic…

She turned over in bed and couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment to see it empty. “Oh well,” she thought. Even before they were dating, an agreement was made that the aloof blue hedgehog could come and go from her place as he pleased. It was in his nature to be nomadic. Still, it would have been nice to have woken up beside him after the evening’s festivities…

From the corner of her eye, she spotted a figure gingerly tiptoeing in the doorframe. The shadow froze in place as soon as she looked over.

“Whoops, did I wake you?” Sonic whispered, a glass of water in his hand. Amy sat up in bed, thrilled to learn that he hadn’t left just yet. “Not at all,” she replied. “Have you been up long?”

“Nuh-uh,” he replied at his regular volume before taking several long gulps of water. He walked over and plopped down on the edge of the bed. “I was out like a light, but…” Sonic looked over his shoulder at her, a cheeky grin plastered across his face and his voice had a feigned bewilderment to it. “I’m so parched for some reason. ’Wonder why…” the corners of his mouth stayed curled in a smile as he finished the last sip from his glass.

“How quickly you forget,” Amy teased. He set the cup on a nearby nightstand before suddenly tackling the pink hedgehog, rolling and tumbling the pair to the complete other side of the bed and tangling up in the sheets. He planted himself on his back so Amy lay on top of him. “How dare you,” he sneered but only in jest. 

She pecked his lips as a form of playful apology. “How do you still have so much energy?!” 

“Crazy, right?” He closed his eyes and smirked matter-of-factly. “I’m aboutta tell Knux he can keep his Chaos Emeralds. I just need my ‘Amy fix’ to go Super Sonic.” He punctuated the sentence with a goofy shimmy. 

Amy buried her face into his chest to stifle her laughter and hide her blush. “Stoooop,” she pleaded bashfully, but she did delight in the implication that she had such a strong impact on him. 

The two sighed in unison, grateful to be alive and overjoyed to be in each other’s arms. Sonic stroked her tangled quills, silently admiring how ridiculous her hair had gotten from their activity. The slow rhythm of their breathing started lulling each other back to sleep. 

“I love you, Sonic,” she whispered drowsily into the sweat-matted fur of his chest. 

“I love you, Ames,” he mumbled before dozing off once again. 

[becauseanders]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

ahhh hi thank you! (finally answering this!) 🖤

It Took the Night to Believe: chapterfic, complete, 100k. dragon age ii, anders/male hawke. pacific rim au. i am honestly really fucking proud of this fic, like i thought it was great even though it didn't do super well kudos-wise and i did notice that i definitely did lose readers as it went on. i truly have no idea why, this fic is fucking great. it's got angst, it's got comfort, it's got near death experiences, it's got fluff, it's got kaiju—what's not to love??

No Wound as Sharp as the Will of God: chapterfic, complete, 99k. dragon age ii, anders/female hawke. canonverse, post-da2. it took me seven years to post a second chapter of this and a total of eight years to finish it, and the whole time i was writing it after i picked it up again i was so unsure of it, but turns out i really like it. very heavy content, please do mind the tags. takes place while hawke is with the inquisition. anders positive, justice positive. a very intense, very deep, very affectionate friendship between anders and fenris is an extremely important part of the story. like, seriously, the platonic fenders is just as important as the romantic handers. a lot of angst, like so much angst, but the hurt/comfort is real. the b-plot pertains to my theory that justice cures anders of the taint. cole is there. the emotions are high and you can feel them strongly in the writing. again, be careful, but this is a good fic.

A Thing With Feathers Now, Elevate: one shot, 11k. dragon age: origins, alistair/female amell. canonverse, takes place over the course of da:o. this fic is a fucking masterpiece. another that didn't do well numbers-wise but this is easily one of the absolute best things i've ever written and is quite possibly one of the best fics on ao3. i am so fucking proud of this one. the prose, the metaphors, the handling of trauma, the found family—this one deserved way more love than it got. like, i'm serious, this fic is amazing.

It Means Tumult: chapterfic, wip, 349k (yes, you read that right). dragon age ii, anders/female hawke. modern au. okay, obviously i've got to mention this one. i have been working on this fic for eight years and i am very sorry to everyone who saw this go from updating multiple times a week and asking me how the fuck i write so fast to three years without a single update and then i think only one more in the past two years. i'm working on the penultimate chapter, i swear i am, i'm just super stuck right now. this fic is…this fic. i'm not going to lie, i don't really know if this is any longer some of my better writing, but the premise is fucking solid and i have been told more than once that it's clear this is a labor of love and that this is endearing. au where the obvious metaphors are made reality: the circles are psychiatric institutions and being mentally ill is a crime. a lot of angst, but a lot of love. pay no mind to how much better of a character and person aveline is when i write her. i also do admittedly use this fic to deal with my own demons frequently. an andrea gibson poem helped me write one chapter and i later got to tell them about it and they hugged me. this is also very heavily centered on music and has a lengthy soundtrack. please ignore the fact that when i first started writing this i used british english when i typed because i thought it looked better, as i had started doing as a teenager, which tbh i still kind of do but i also realized that's just fucking pretentious to do when you're american, and it was already so long by the time i stopped doing it that there was no way in hell i was going back to editing all of that (as i actually did do with nwasatwog). so that's just the way it is. but yeah, there's a lot of feelings happening here. also the only fic on this list that has an original title instead of song lyrics despite being the one with the most music involved, lol.

Through the Fall and the Feel: chapterfic, wip, 52k. dragon age ii, anders/male hawke. modern au. this is the one i'm working on most right because that's just where the brainworms are. hawke is a teddy bear doctor and anders goes to see him because instead of a pillow from his mother he has a stuffed cat, and she has seen much better days. this fic has a very wholesome premise but has gone into some pretty heavy angst already and i did not mean for eating disorders to be as important to the story as they have become, so be mindful of that. but this fic has a lot of heart and it's absolutely tanking, so if this piques your interest maybe go give it a look? this is also my second foray into m!handers and i am again having fun writing them. but yeah, i actually like this fic a lot and i do recommend it.

[pedroshotwifey]

I love all 717 of y’all. Feeling very appreciative and grateful to be a part of this community today ❤️

[rey-ren-finn-poe]

I made a Reylo Hunger Games AU! I have been super inspired with the new HG movie coming out and couldn't resist.

[sexynetra]

Me? Writing Anarcia sick!fic while sleep deprived? It’s more likely than you think! (Excerpt)

With a deep breath and one final check to make sure there wasn't any puke on her sleep shirt, (she wasn't even going to bother going back to her room to find pajama pants to wear, she felt too shitty to care if Marcia saw her ass), she trudged towards the door, focusing her energy on not falling over, seeing as the room was still spinning and her brain felt like it was trying to burst through the front of her skull. Miraculously, she made it to the door without incident, swinging open the door to greet the tall blonde who was far too bubbly for it to only be eight in the morning.

Marcia, for her part, does stop her stream-of-consciousness chattering when she sees just how tired and unwell Anetra looks, frowning and immediately moving to rest the back of her hand on Anetras forehead, tsking slightly under her breath. “Step a bit to the left, Neech. You’re blocking the doorway” She murmured, the worry written clearly across her delicate features.

“Marsh, I don't want to get you sick…” Anetra began to protest, but Marcia was having none of it, already squeezing herself in the slender space between Anetra’s too-warm body and the door. Anetra’s breath hitched ever so slightly as she felt Marcia's body pressing against hers, and for just a moment, the heat filling her frame had nothing to do with her illness.

[thisbravegirl]

My dream casting for Ares was Chris Evans, and I’m still sad it wasn’t him

Just imagine this face but with flames for eyes

I mean he plays a cocky bro/jerk really well

But also, and this is just my fangirly fantasies here, the amusement park scene could have been so much funnier (even though it was great, esp the tunnel of love scene, and don’t get me wrong bc im loving the show)

Like when they try to find the shield they keep finding shields but not the right one and one of the wrong ones is a cap shield and they’re like “oh that one looks cool- if you want a dinner plate as a shield” or something snarky just bc it would be funny. To me.

But yeah even that aside, I really wanted Chris Evans to be Ares but this guy is good too

[chorus-the-mutate]

The Justice Society is hands down the best thing about Black Adam because they just consist of two gay dads in an adult age gap relationship, their poor, dumb nephew who's trying his best and his soon to be girlfriend who's already the favorite child. And they all just love each other so much and only one of them consistently has a brain cell. Honestly I wish there was a movie about the four of them.

[defacing-paper]

1000 ways…only 998 more depictions to go.

[requiemforthepoets]

overcooked 𖦹 LN4

PAIRINGS: lando norris x female!reader

SUMMARY: play overcooked they said, it’ll be fun they said.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i just can’t help write about the idea lando playing overcooked, so i did. hope you’ll enjoy this! :)

REMINDER: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WORD COUNT: 1k

WARNINGS: typos and ferrari strategy meme

Lando’s twitch stream was in full swing, and the chat was buzzing as you settled beside him, controller in hand.

“Alright, babe, let’s see how well we work together,” Lando teased, flashing you that signature grin. You rolled your eyes, already sensing that this game of overcooked might be more than what you bargained for.

You both dove into the first level, the kitchen chaos unfolding on the screen as you both tried to chop, cook, and serve orders with as much coordination as two people shared a life, but perhaps not a kitchen.

“Lando, the onions! You missed the onions!” You shouted, pointing at the screen as the virtual kitchen teetered on the brink of disaster.

“Relax, I’ve got this!” Lando replied, but his character was already running into walls, the pot burning on the stove. You could feel the frustration bubbling up, your competitive nature kicking into high gear.

You took charge of the kitchen, barking orders like a seasoned chef, while Lando scrambled to keep up. “Chop the onions faster, Lando!” You yelled as the kitchen timer ticked down. Lando, flustered, accidentally tossed the onions into the trash instead of the pot.

“Oops,” he said, trying to suppress a laugh.

“Oops?” You shot back, incredulous. “Lando, we’re running a restaurant, not a garbage disposal service!” The twitch chat exploded with laughter, and Lando couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of trying to manage orders, avoid fires, and stop Lando from accidentally throwing perfectly good ingredients into the trash, you both managed to complete the level. The result? Two stars. You stared at the screen, eyes narrowing.

“Unacceptable.” You muttered, “this is unacceptable!” You declared, your voice suddenly dropping into a perfect Gordon Ramsay impression.

“Oh look, baby we got two stars! That’s not bad!” Lando said excitedly as he pointed on the screen.

“Not that bad? Are you kidding me, Lando?” You snapped, fully embodying the spirit of Gordon Ramsay. “We were all over the place! No communcation, no strategy. Honestly, what was that—your best effort? Do you want to serve that to people? Do you?!”

Your sudden intensity caught Lando off guard, but before he could say anything, you were now pacing back and forth in front of him. But before he could say anything, you were off on a tirade, launching into an elaborate explanation of your strategy. You gestured wildly, pointing at the screen, completely absorbed in your monologue.

“Okay, listen. First, you need to stay on your side of the kitchen. I’ll handle the chopping and the prep work—because clearly, you’re incapable of doing both without setting something on fire. We need to streamline the workflow. I’ll chop, you’ll cook, and we both plate. But!” You pointed at him, your expression deadly serious, ���no more improvisation. We need to stick to the plan. No more running around like a headless chicken.“

Lando blinked and nodded at you, clearly taken aback by your sudden switch into full-on chef mode. He opened his mouth to respond but then quickly shut it, his eyes darting between you and the camera that was still live streaming every second of your tirade. The chat was exploding with messages, his fans throughly entertained by your unintentional transformation into a culinary dictator, and Lando knows better than to interrupt you when you’re in the zone.

“And another thing,” you continued, pointing to the screen like you were delivering the world’s most important TED talk. “Timing and synchronization is crucial. We need to strategize and work like a well-oiled machine, not a circus act, okay? I handle the chopping, you’ll cook, and we both plate. We’ll divide and conquer!”

The chat exploded, the fans losing it as she continued, hands flying everywhere in wild gestures. Meanwhile, Lando was trying his hardest not to crack up, the corners of his mouth twitching as he watched her go on.

“Babe…baby,” Lando finally managed to interject, struggling to keep a straight face. “You realize we’re live, right?”

You froze, eyes widening as you remembered the twitch stream, the hundred of his fans who had just witnessed your unhinged rant. Slowly, you turned to the camera, a sheepish grin spreading across your face.

“Oh…hi, chat,” you said, your voice suddenly much softer, the intensity draining from your expression. “I’m sorry for that. That was not very demure, very cutesy, and very mindful of me.”

Lando burst out laughing, nearly doubling over as he clutched his stomach. “I think you’ve been watching too much Hell’s Kitchen, love. Gordon Ramsay has become your new personality,” he teased, pulling you back down and sat you on his lap. You groaned, burying your face on his neck, as he put an arm around your waist, but even you couldn’t help laugh at yourself.

“Come on, let’s get you that three stars.” Lando said as he chuckled again. You settled down beside him and gave you a kiss on your temple.

The rest of the stream was just as chaotic as when you both started playing the game, filled with rage, frustration, and hilarious uncoordination. Orders were still missed, pots were still burning, and Lando’s character even managed to fall off the kitchen at one point, but you were both too busy laughing to care. By the end of the game, you hadn’t earned a single three-star rating that you had intentionally wanted, but the stream had been a massive hit, and the chat was flooded with memes of your intense strategy session.

As Lando ended the stream, he leaned over and kissed you on the lips, still chuckling. “We may not be the best team in overcooked, but I think we’re the most entertaining,” he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You rolled your eyes, but a smile played on your lips as you rested your head ok his shoulder. “Yeah, well, next time we’re getting three stars. I don’t care how long it takes.”

“Deal.” lando replied, wrapping an arm around you as you both relaxed, your own competitive sprit finally at peace—for now. “And can I say, it really turned me on when you started yapping.” His eyes wiggling, suggesting something that you knew fully well as you slapped him playfully on the chest.

“Oh shut up you.” You both laughed.

The kitchen might have been a disaster, but at least your relationship had survived the heat—well, barely.

twitter posts

[shinonometrash]

The Dapper Wolf

Court of Darkness Fan Fiction - Short Story

Rating: General

Main Characters: MC, Lance Ira, Robin (MC’s familiar), Grushia

You can check out other content that I’ve written/made by clicking here!

~~

One day in the forest–

Lance is lounging under a tree as usual when MC and Robin appear.

MC: Hi Lance!

MC waves, wearing a warm smile.

Robin: Master Lance!

Robin, seeming especially energetic, zooms over to Lance.

Robin:  Look! Look what milady gave me!

He flies around in excited circles, eager to show off.

Lance: Hm? What am I looking at?

MC: Oh, I bought him a bow tie while I was out shopping today. He absolutely adores it.

Robin: Doesn’t it look just dashing against my fur?

Lance: Haha, very cute.

Smiling, Lance scritches Robin gently behind the ears.

In response to hearing Robin’s animated voice, Grushia trots over curiously.

Robin: Master Grushia, look at my new bow tie! Milady bought it for me!

Grushia sniffs at the new accessory around Robin’s neck when MC suddenly exclaims.

MC: Oh yeah! Grushia, wait there! I have something for you, too!

Grushia: Aroo?

Grushia’s ears perk up in anticipation as he eagerly waits to see what MC brought him.

After a moment of rummaging, MC produces a slightly larger bow tie from her bag.

MC: I got you one too! Now you and Robin can match!

Grushia: Arroo!

Lance: What, no, you're not giving him a bow tie!

Before MC can put the bow tie on Grushia, Lance exclaims this.

Unlike Grushia, he is very clearly not enthusiastic about the idea.

MC: Why not?

Lance: Because! He’s a wolf.

Ignoring him, she slips the bow tie over the wolf’s head.

MC: So?

Lance: Wolves don't wear bow ties.

MC:  Says who? Look, he wants to wear it!

Grushia wags his tail excitedly as she adjusts the bow tie around his neck.

Lance: Oi, Grushia, you’re a wolf, not a blasted lap dog!

MC: There, perfect!

Now sporting a fetching bow tie, Grushia sits down in front of Lance, staring up at him.

MC: Haha, I think he wants to know what you think!

Lance: …

MC: You don't want to hurt Grushia’s feelings do you?

Lance: …

MC: Lance, look, you're making Grushia sad!

Grushia: *whimpers*

MC: Aww, come here Grushia. Don't listen to big ‘ol meanie Lance. I, for one, think you look very dapper in your bow tie!

Grushia sits down next to MC and she wraps her arms around him protectively, throwing a glare towards her paramour.

Grushia’s ears droop as he looks at Lance with a sad expression.

Grushia: Arroo…

Lance: Come on, don’t you think this is a bit much?

Lance looks exasperated as he watches his paramour and wolf companion, who is now laying on the ground, resting his head in MC’s lap pitifully as she comfortingly pets him.

MC: Really, you look very handsome! No matter what Lance might say!

Lance: Don’t put words in my mouth-

Robin: Yes! I think you look very dashing too, Master Grushia!

Hovering at MC’s shoulder, Robin also throws an angry kitty glare towards Lance.

Lance: For Creator’s sake…

Lance’s exasperation quickly turns to irritation at the melodramatic display everybody is putting on.

MC: It’s okay Grushia, even if Lance won’t accept you, I’ll ALWAYS accept you for who you are. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually…

Lance: Stop making me the villain here!

MC: Then say it.

Lance: Say what?

MC: “Grushia, that bow tie makes you look very cute and handsome!”

Lance: …

Everybody stares at Lance expectantly.

Lance: …

MC: Well?

Lance: I-I don’t think you look bad in that bow tie, Grushia.

Grushia whines, sounding disappointed as he returns his head to MC’s lap.

Lance: Wasn’t that good enough?

MC: Nope, you have to say it word for word.

Lance: Dragon’s teeth…

Lance curses under his breath before resigning himself to his fate.

Lance: Grushia, that bow tie makes you look v-very…cute and handsome…

Grushia: Arrooo!

Immediately perking up, Gruschia wags his tail happily and begins prancing around, proudly displaying his new accessory.

Lance acts exasperated as he shakes his head, but is unable to completely hide the smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Robin: Come on Master Grushia, let’s go show all the others in the forest!

Grushia: Arroo!

MC and Lance watch as the two animals disappear into the forest.

MC: Oh my gosh!! I just remembered!

Lance: What?

MC: They had matching bow ties for people too!

Lance: …

MC: Darn, I should've bought it while I was there! I'll have to go back into town tomorrow and buy one…

MC: Just imagine, you and Grushia, wearing matching bow ties! Ahhh, that’d be SOO cu-

Lance: NO.

The End.

~~

If you enjoyed this story, please consider reblogging! It’s one of the best ways to show support for content creators since Tumblr doesn’t rely heavily on algorithms and things easily get lost in the tags.

You can check out other content that I’ve written/made by clicking here! 

[e-vay]

Savor Every Second

A scene from my Sonamy one-shot. You can read it here.

[e-vay]

Go read this! Right NOW!

Where the Wind Rises | A Sonamy Fanfiction for Sonamy Week 2024

Sonic has a hard time understanding what it means to have a home. He worries that he might be letting too much life pass him by, living free at the sacrifice of, perhaps, something more. However, Amy Rose, one of the very few constants in his life, and perhaps the only constant to somehow understand and respond to his every move, finds the perfect way to show him just how much he has both.

This is a story about love that persists beyond physical boundaries.

Themes: Comfort & the Red String of Fate

FFdotNet

AO3

[chrisevansonly]

DNF For Love

lando norris x reader

summary: you can’t believe your eyes, and lando can’t believe his ears

warnings: none, fluff, lando being lando

a/n: this is chaos and idk what i was doing with this 😭

Every now and then someone tagged you in a link on twitter and every so often your curiosity peaked and you indulged in whatever the fan had tagged you in. Most recently, you’d been loving the fan fiction links being sent your way, especially if they were written about your boyfriend Lando.

“Lan I cannot believe you right now.”

Now that tone of voice had Lando freezing from his spot in the bathroom, cleaning up his facial hair a little before he took off for Bahrain.

“Um…i’m sorry?”

“I just I can’t even look at you!”

Lando was quick to rinse his face off before walking over towards you and sitting in front of you. His eyes a little bit worried as he stared at you.

“What? I took the trash out, i cleaned up my facial hair out of the sink…there’s no socks on the floor!”

It was only a few seconds later that you sighed dramatically

“Well in this little story here apparently you dnf’d a race for the reader…you never do that for me!”

Lando looked at you like you grew four heads, his jaw dropping open as it clicked to him that once again you were reading fan fiction about him.

“Oh jesus christ-woman give me that!”

Finally letting yourself laugh you passed your phone to him and watched as his eyes scanned the writing, before he shook his head.

“Yeah because i’m giving up leading a race to dnf because my so called “girlfriend” is missing, mhm yeah because that makes sense”

“You wouldn’t even dnf for me?!”

Your laughter never ceased as he looked at you with almost a disgust, the idea not even fathomable for him, and even you knew it was so stupid.

“Baby, I love you, but I wouldn’t even dnf for my nan…and I love my nan a lot..”

You nodded shrugging as he passed your phone back, shutting it off you sat forward to kiss his forehead, easing the wrinkles that remained from his sheer distaste for what he just read.

“You heard it here folks, Lando Norris wouldn’t even dnf for love!”

“Okay that’s it”

There wasn’t much room to say anything because Lando had you pinned underneath him against the mattress as you laughed once again, a smirk on his face as he stared down at you.

“Here’s a deal, if i’m ever dead last in a shit car, i’ll dnf for you”

“So never?”

“Exactly”

Watching you carefully you shrugged

“I’ll take what I can get”

Happy with your response he leaned down to connect your lips together, the fanfic long gone out of your minds as you held one another tightly, Lando’s kisses always working to have you melt into a puddle. When you both pulled away you smiled admiring his face a little more than usual knowing you’d be without one another for a week until you went out to meet him at the first grand prix.

Lando’s new rule, no fan fiction at the track.

[gguk-n]

Hello!! I love your writing style!!

Can you pls do a max verstappen x reader but he’s still into Kelly max is sorry, reader disappeared goes to Korea gets together with jungkook plus now she’s a successful CEO n 2 yrs later she comes back as a baddie fans love her n max regrets

It’s set in 2021 comes back in 2024

P.s make her friends with Charles n Lewis

Thank you hope u take this in consideration

This ask was made in my dreams🥹🥹 thank you to the beautiful nonnie for sending this. I made this as an smau and some writing. I had so much fun making this!!!🫣🫣 hope you enjoy reading this too🥹🥹 changed the timeline a little bit for the story. Max is an ass, sorry. I love Max really but the story needed it

Drifting Into Love

Face Claim- Kim Hye yoon. (Every thing is fiction)

Max was back the next day. Y/N returned from Belgium and was waiting for Max in her apartment in Monaco. Max was one of the very few people who knew that Y/N came from wealth. Her parents had raised her humbly in hopes that the money won't get to her head and she would be a kind and compassionate human. Right now, she felt anything but kind. She felt like smashing Max to a pulp. How dare he lie to her and who does he think he is to humiliate her like this. If he loved her, he should've stayed with her, she thought.

Max stumbled into her house in a panic. "Schat, why are you here?" Max asked trying to hug her. "What do you mean?" she asked. "I mean't why aren't you home?" he asked. She chuckled. "Max, I will not be in a cheater's house, god knows who all you've brought over." she said shaking her head. "I never brought anyone home. And as for Kelly this was a prior arrangement and I couldn't get out of it" he reasoned. "Then you should've told me. I would've come along. But you lied, you knew what you were doing is wrong, that's why you lied to me." she retaliated. "I, Y/N, schat....please" he stuttered. "You have nothing to say Max, also don't call me that. I'm not your girlfriend." she said. "Don't say that" Max said. "I don't care if you love Kelly, I just wish you hadn't lied to me." she lamented. "I'm sorry, I'll do better. I promise" he tried reasoning. "Max, you don't need to. You clearly still love her. I do not plan on being a home wrecker. I hope you both are happy" Y/N said. "Won't you fight for this? our relationship" he asked now in tears. "No, we stopped being a couple the moment you went back to her" she said with a stoic expression. "I'm sorry. You deserve better" Max said hoping she would stay. "I agree. Now can you leave, I have some work to do" she said ushering Max out.

Unbeknownst to Max, she had cried. The all of yesterday, really and Charles and Lewis were ready to kill Max. She some how convinced them not to. They had spent the whole night consoling her and taking care as she tried to mend her broken heart.

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 23,976 others

y/n.y/l/n Don't forget to take out the trash🙏🙏

user17 What is going on?? Is this related to Max??😭😭 user18 She said, I ain't no one's second choice🫣🫣 user19 She's so pretty!! I wish I was her❤️❤️ charles_leclerc We can take it out for you���� lewishamilton me and Charles are great at waste disposal. I can compost too🙂 user20 What does Lewis mean by that??They are scaring me🙃🙃 user21 I think she broke up with Max and obviously her best friends hate him, he cheated on their angel.😳😳 user22 I would also compost a man if he cheated on my bestie, I get it lewishamilton 😤😤

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 289,297 others

y/n.y/l/n Gonna miss my fav photographer🫣😘😍

user23 That photographer is doing us all a service😍😍 user24 I didn't know she could look prettier🥹❤️❤️ user25 The first photo will no one talk about it🤨😳😳 arthur_leclerc Are those hands that photographers?🤔🤔 charles_leclerc arthur_leclerc what do you know?😩😩 lewishamilton we have the cutest bestie, the photographer better not be a man😒 user26 I'm scared of having both Lewis and Charles as best friends, they are too over protective🤣🤣

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 1,297,229 others

y/n.y/l/n 보고 싶, 돌아와요오빠😭😭💜💜 miss you!! come back oppa

user27 eww!! Oppa you can't date her, you are supposed to end up with me🤮🤮 user28 I don't get what he saw in her??😒😒 user29 Fandom cleanse here I come🤣🤣 user30 She's so pretty. To bag Jungkook, I mean he has taste❤️❤️ charles_leclerc he's the mystery photographer?🤔 lewishamilton can't believe you didn't tell me😤😤 y/n.y/l/n lewishamilton in my defence, you are scary but my boyfriend could take you out ☺️😉 user31 I love the brother sister dynamic Lewis and Y/N have😂😂 user32 she hard launched the fuck out of her relationship❤️❤️🙏 user33 user32 she's staking her claim. I would too, if I was dating Jungkook💜💜😍

Y/N was walking towards the Ferrari when she bumped into Max. "Hello Max" she smiled. "Hi" he replied. "How have you been?" he asked. "Good. You?" she asked. "Good. Surprise to see you here" he said. "Yeah, my best friends said they missed me so.." she said. "Ah yes, Lewis and Charles" Max mulled. "I'll get going then" she announced. "No, wait" Max stopped her. "I'm sorry" he apologised. "For what?" she asked. "For hurting you. I really did like you." he explained. "me too." she lamented. "Can't we try again" he proposed. She let out a big and loud laugh, making Max embarrassed and heads turn. "Sorry Max, but that ship sailed long ago. Aren't you still with Kelly, though?" she asked. Max didn't say anything. "Don't flip flop, love a woman correctly and truly. Also, I'm engaged." she said pointed at her left hand which had a beautiful large diamond on the ring finger which looked like it had found it's rightful owner. "Wish you good luck and Congratulations on the championship last year" she called out while she walked away. Max could only stare at her as she disappeared from his sight.

[starplanes]

A (5 star) review of Bury Your Gays, by @drchucktingle!

I read this book in one sitting. I did not plan to read this book in one sitting, but I could not put it down, accepting that my lunch break was now an extended reading break. Bury Your Gays was just that good.

It starts simple. Screenwriter Misha has been told by his exec that the season finale of his show must out, then kill the two leads. He needs to bury his gays because the board has determined it's where the money is. Misha says no. Then starts getting stalked by his (definitely fictional, right?) characters from other shows. Either Misha developed some incredible supernatural powers in that meeting, or something more sinister is at work…

Bury Your Gays illustrates why queer people should be allowed to tell the stories they want to tell, instead of being made to use queerbating, tragic tropes, or fake relentless optimism in the name of corporate Pride. It's a story about the queer struggle to find oneself in a world that makes it so, so hard. There's a lot of love for the queer community poured into this book, and oh does it shines. I especially adored the ace rep - and the concept of ace rep as a plot point. I shall not explain further. However, I am more scared than ever of the corporatization of Pride.

Bury Your Gays also criticizes capitalism's monetization of tragedy and exploitation of workers. It explores what happens when ethics are ignored in the name of an ever-growing profit margin, to the point where the bottom line becomes a near-sentient thing. It leans into the horrors of AI and data-mining by combining the two and going all the way with it. Chuck Tingle has acknowledged all my fears of black box algorithms and also made them ten times worse. Truly a feat! I will be sleeping with my router off!

It's a masterpiece of horror, both visceral and psychological. Since the main character is a horror writer, the story is very genre aware. There's a lot of fun to be had in the tale of "writer being followed by the monsters he wrote," and certainly no small amount of terror. It gets gory here and there, with plenty of suspense in between. Hints are laid out for the reader, enough where I was occasionally able to predict what was coming just a page or two before it landed. My jaw dropped multiple times! The writing is descriptive enough to pull you right in (and gross you out!), and it's paced near-perfectly. There's all these little moments sprinkled in that elevate the whole story, from fun references of other work to subtle clues you'll only catch on a reread.

This book will be living in my head rent-free from now on. It's about so many things and yet has interwoven them all perfectly. Fans of classic horror movies will love this story. Those of us fed up with AI generated trash will love it. Anyone who joined a WGA picket line will love it. Asexuals fed up with lack of representation will love it. People who watched multiple seasons of Supernatural will love it. Is that you? Go pick up Bury Your Gays. Be scared, be sad, be angry. But also validated, loved, and joyful.

TLDR: Read this book when it comes out on July 9!