#my thought processes
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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#saw those pictures and immediately thought about my writing process#have a shitte meme i guess#writing#fanfiction#ben affleck#5k#8k#20k
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guys is this something
#my thought process:#weird food > delicious in dungeon#mcyt#life series#wildlife#grian#grian fanart#grianmc#skizzleman#skizz fanart#mumbo#mumbo fanart#geminitay#gemcyt#sub one club#spanners#wild life spoilers#i think this came out nice :) i need to finish watching delicious in dungeon now#my art ⭐
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀
more:
#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#emma dupain cheng#emma agreste#(i think that may the more popular tag for her lol. she is a dupain cheng in my heart though)#plagg#she is thirteen almost fourteen here btw. because i love circularity#emma dupain cheng to me is like. what if emilie or adrien grew up in a stable home with no trauma. that’s emma#and she is theater kid✨#and adrien and marinette are soooo so so supportive and love going to her shows and are so proud of her#/marinette has to be held back from trying to manipulate the school play casting process to secure emma the lead every year#but then emma sets her sights on bigger things(broadway west end)#and adrien pumps the breaks big time#and he’s so torn between supporting her interests and wanting so badly to keep her from like. being a child actor. having a job. b#being pulled from school#and emma gets upset bc he is standing in the way of her dreams#and they fight about it:(#and then emma discovers plagg and convinces him to help her sneak out and go to her callback that she secretly auditioned for#(and forged all the parent signatures for lol)#and. well. plagg CAN be bribed#and also she just reminds him so much of baby adrien🤧 he is a softie#and she runs away to her callback. and adrien and marinette wake up the next morning and see on the news that there is a new chat noir.#anyway. not that i’ve thought about it or anything
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Vanny finally meets FNAF tape girl in person...
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#tape girl#fnaf tonya#fnaf help wanted#security breach#fnaf fanart#TAPE GIRL MENTIONED AGAIN 🔥🔥#A good handful of folks asks me if I’d draw Tape girl and Vanessa meeting#I THOUGHT it was a fun idea and finally got around to it#my thought process here is Vanny was hunting tape girl down#mean she wants to find the person who gave her this virus after all#just to say thank you I promise :-)#she’s either being genuine or sarcastic when she says it ‘helped her a lot’#probably similar to the Mike deal can’t bring herself to actually harm tape girl#I like the name Tonya for tape girl it’s one of her maybe names and I think it fits#shout out to toxic fnaf yuri…
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i'll strangle you or i'll kiss you on the mouth
#laius thorden#laios touden#kabru#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#my art#Linktoo art#labru#narrative foil yaoi my weakness.... anyway#the way he grabs that guy and begs him to stay and begs like please LISTEN to me#its so funny how kabru‚ someone who prides himself with understanding people and their motivations#just can't handle having some random guy like laius with a big prophecy on his head remain a mystery to him#the way laius just entirely evades him it drives him crazy. kabru puts motivations and assumptions in his mouth in any attempt to Know him#hes so scared of this man yet simultaneously drawn by being unable to discern his thought process#meanwhile#laius is just autistic
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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drew some totally normal sadnesses
blank bg and individuals below the cut
edit: i posted some of my thoughts that went into these designs! if youd like to read you can find it in the reblogs
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat loop#cw body horror#< just in case#aves art#two hats spoilers#im sorry if the names are awkward i dont speak french.....#might make a companion post to this detailing my thought process#because boy did i think#yes i know about mdp i love mdp . but i wanted to draw goopy freaks more in line with other sadness designs#this is like character analysis in the form of creature design
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tbh I can't stop thinking about how i went into Hadestown being like "this is a tragic love story based on a greek myth I enjoy :)" and I came out the other side covered in blood being like "this is a thesis about how capitalism inevitably leads to both personal and global ruin, and so we are duty bound to resist it even as we lose, again and again and again. no matter how impossible it feels or how many times we fail and hit a wall and fall, we try again"
#hadestown#i dont even mnkw where to start talking about this show because im still processing it but im lkme#holy shit. what a fucking show#havent felt ljke this abt a musical in like a decade#media blogging#trb.txt#if anyone wants to send an ask about my thoughts.... to give me a plave to start.....👉👈#also i like. am shocked i havent seen MORE discussions of hadestown as an anticapitalist thesis#hmmm
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waiter waiter more vampire timkon please!
prev vampire timkon drawing!!!
#SHOUTOUT TO TWITTER USER GHOSTIIEST FOR INSPIRING THE POSE#i can't describe to you my thought process while making this please just fucking take it#atp i should make a tag for my vampire timkon au#tw blood#tim drake#kon el#conner kent#timkon
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Just realized that I recorded the timelapse of my Ghosts illustration, so here you go! Enjoy! 👻
#I loved working on this so much#and I didn't struggle as much as I thought I would#bbc ghosts#ghosts#bbc ghosts fanart#ghosts fanart#my art#digital art#timelapse#art process
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sympathy for cain
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#sukuna#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#and here i thought i had finally drawn smth that didnt need the spoiler tag but unfortunately nobara has her eyepatch smh#crazy tht i end up drawing sukuna of all people when im in this mood#havent drawn the guy in a while fr starters#also Not the character i would have thought to choose to process my emotions for me but it fits very well#dont read into it :)#i dont like this piece too much tbh like its fine its cool im just in a headspace n this has all of it in it#this is why i dont typically like to draw to vent bc then i cant look at the finished product without seeing all the feelsbad behind it#but whatever . maybe todays chapter will fix me#oh yeah 2 fv captions in a row bc thats what u get when im emo. shame/rotten goes hard fr sukuna/yuuji
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criminal - fiona apple
(no lyrics under cut)
#waiiter oh waiter!! more scary fiddleford mcgucket please!!!#idk what my concept here is#thought process was ford would break in to get fiddleford's memories in case theres any stuff about how to bill-proof the portal#points at tv. fight fight fight#art moment#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#i love fiona apple a lot smiles big
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FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#phone guy#fnaf 1#sister location#fnaf fanart#HOLY SHIT PHONE GUY MENTIONED AGAIN 🔥🔥#NOW WITH A FULL HUMAN DESIGN ☎️#listen I know I’ll never beat his object head form#BUT I wanted to take at least one stab at making him a design!#my thought process I based him off William and Bob the security guard from the movie!#those two basically gives off the general idea I thought phone guy looked like#made sure to give him red all over his design too to match the phone head deal 🙏🏾#SO YEAH in retrospect phone guy saying this TO MICHAEL is crazy#you think Michael just sat there like 😐#Michael straight up had an endo shoved into him and he was wore like a suit 💀#PHONE GUY definitely didn’t know but yeesh hit close to home there#I REALLY hope yall like PG design!!#I’ll probably tweak it a lil if I do draw it again#now phone guy phone dude and tape girl all have human designs let’s go!! 🩵🩵
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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