#my theories were riiiiight

[hellfire-rose]

BARB LORE BARB LORE

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Don’t worry about answering this is you don’t want to. I know you don’t like fandom wank. But, if you feel like it, do you think someone could make those endpoints work? Bran as king and Jon at the Wall even though there’s a big old hole in it and Dany deliberately burning King’s Landing before Jon or Arya kills her, is that an ending any writer, no matter their skill, could sell to the hardcore fans? I don’t think the fandom would accept it even if GRRM wrote it.

lololol I deleted my post already anon, so for those of you who didn't read it - I was once again whining about how d&d fucked up the last bunch of seasons and every character. it's not a new take, just something I was high thinking in the shower, so I deleted it bc it wasn't productive.

But I'll answer this, because I think it's interesting.

In short - no.

(Beneath the cut for a longer explanation and just a whole bunch of my ranty thoughts. pls remember I am no asoiaf scholar and I haven't studied every aspect of the books or read every meta. These are just my opinions.)

Longer - at this point, too much time has gone by, there is literally no way George can please... probably even half of his fanbase, no matter what he does. From what I can tell, the fandom too divided and there's so much hatred between stan groups (which I do find ridiculous, but it is what it is). People have cemented their own ending in their heads after decades of the fandom existing without an official ending, and I can see a lot of them not liking that they're wrong. Some people have spent 30 years with their theories, it's sunk cost fallacy. Case in point, the show ending being written off as fanfiction by a lot of fans.

which, tangent, I get. I GET why d stans don't believe the ending, because it was so poorly executed. I truly do understand their denial, because the show gaslit the audience for soooooo long that she was the girlboss hero and then seemed to do a 180 at the end. What was that post I just reblogged the other day? I don't hate villains, I hate when the narrative tries to convince you the bad person is actually good.

now, you asked if anyone could make those endpoints work, but I don't actually think most of them are the real endpoints? I think they were D&D giving up and not trying, or going for Shock Value™. But for fun, I'm gonna go by endpoints I think are most to least likely, and my thoughts on how they could happen and how D&D fucked them up.

Bran as king: Confirmed by grrm. How he'll make this work, I have no idea. I genuinely didn't see it coming tbh. I thought the "bittersweet" ending would be Jon being forced to take the crown in KL. like it's a good ending for everyone else, but for him it's misery. I'm sure grrm has his plans, and I'd be interested to see how he pulls it off. This end point does not disappoint me and I'm not mad at being wrong, but I can see a HUGE swath of people HATING it. specifically D stans.

D&D blew this hard. They cut Bran out of an entire season, making him seem to the audience like a lesser character and not important. They made him a robot. Why am I rooting for show!Bran? Also, I will never, ever get over that line - who has a better story than Bran the Broken? I don't know Tyrion, literally everyone else?? JON DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE. ahem.

(as far as I'm aware, Bran as king is the only ending grrm has confirmed?? correct me if I'm wrong.)

D as the big bad: I guess grrm hasn't officially confirmed this, but... he's sort of confirmed it, riiiiight? He compared dragons to nuclear weapons. The show has her as the villain (poorly executed or not). When I gave hotd a shot, literally the opening lines were about the Targs bringing themselves down immediately after name dropping her. Seems pretty solid to me. D&D just refused to commit to her villain arc because they didn't want to alienate their audience that they'd gaslit into thinking she was the hero, and they were seemingly obsessed with Shock Value™ twists.

Dany burning KL: I think the burning of KL is going to happen, and it seems like Dany is the only one to really do it? Unclear how it will happen, I'm sure people have theories. What the show didn't have was Aegon, so who knows how he'll factor in.

Arya sailing west: I think there's a lot of foreshadowing for it. It fits her nature. I think this is very likely to happen and I guess D&D handled it ok. They did ruin her character, though, by making her a literal mass murderer. But yayyyyyy feminism I guess.

Theon sacrificing himself for Bran: Theon's was the only arc I think the show did well. They ruined it at the end by having Theon literally throw himself onto the Night King's sword, which was so fucking stupid, but the arc itself is poignant and fits his character. While he can't ever redeem himself to Robb, he can redeem himself to Robb's siblings, and considering he once pretended to kill Bran, I think this is solid.

Cersei and Jaime dying together: this was my theory even before the show ending, and I think it fits their characters. They cannot live without each other, no matter if they hate each other. They're too deeply entwined in each other. Now, I personally wanted Cersei to be taken captive and put in the black cells to be publicly burned later, and then Jaime shows up and mercy kills her and then himself bc he can't live without her.

But I guess getting bonked on the head by some avoidable rocks is also a way to do it

Sansa as QitN: I'll be honest and say I hated this ending because she ended up alone. Sansa, who has wanted nothing more than family and safety since book 1, ends up completely alone. Even Brienne, her sworn shield, leaves her. but she's a queen, so yayyyy feminism I guess.

I can see her as queen, but I can also see her ending up as queen regent for Rickon, because I'm not totally convinced Rickon dies? like in the show he just randomly shows up and gets captured by Ramsay and it just feels like that isn't his arc in the books. Maybe I'm wrong. But I could see D&D having the endpoint of Sansa as regent, but they killed Rickon off already for Shock Value™, and so they went oops! and made her queen.

Now, there is a part of me that thinks she will not be queen or queen regent, because how does one break off and declare independence from their own brother? Feels like that would destabilize his rule and not give people much faith in him. It just seems really strange to me, but I guess it could happen, since Northern Independence is such a huge theme and it would be weird if it didn't happen?? Does Bran just let her secede? And it doesn't make Dorne or the Iron Islands try.... That's the part in the show that literally did not make sense to me. Sansa was like bye, I'm taking the north, and no one else spoke up about that.

I'd be totally fine with her as queen (if she has someone!!) but I can see a gooooood chunk of the fandom absolutely hating this. surprise.

Brienne as Kingsguard: while I like it for narrative purposes, because she deserves it, I just can't see her leaving Sansa, if she becomes as close to Sansa as she does on the show? If Sansa is queen, I could see her as Sansa's Queensguard. But what does she have in KL? The south didn't ever respect her, why would she want to go back. I think D&D put this in so they could have the ending shot of her writing in the book about Jaime for the shippers

Jon at the Wall: the only reason he went to the Wall in the show was because Grey Worm demanded it? And then left. So. You know, real enforceable. So stupid. Genuinely the worst writing of all the endings, I think, the logic made zero sense there. Now, that could be because they'd written themselves into a corner, but knew Jon ended up at the Wall, and had to force it?

But to me, it's like - what was the point of his resurrection, then? In the show, he doesn't even kill the Night King (we'll get to that). He kills D, sure, but... He's also the reason she succeeds in Westeros to begin with. So what, he gets resurrected, causes havoc, fixes the havoc he caused, and then is sent away to a Wall that serves no purpose anymore? WHAT PURPOSE DOES THE WALL SERVE. The Others are defeated, there's a big ol' hole in it, and they've allied with the Free Folk to an extent. How does the Watch continue on?

I guess he could self-banish. I know the show sort of makes the implication that he goes off with the Free Folk, but in the books, he doesn't really like FF culture? He's appalled by a lot of the violence in it. I can't see him wanting to live that way.

Brai.me: don't get me wrong, I like Brai.me. I think it's cute, in fanon. In canon, I think Brienne is too good for him. I don't see their relationship going romantic or sexual. I think Brienne is who Jaime desperately wants to be (but Cersei is who he keeps being pulled back to). Them having sex was 100% for the shippers

Jo/ner.ys: I'm putting all the punctuation in that. don't need them finding me somehow. Anyway. I don't think this happens, at least not as a true romance. They're on opposite continents and there's not a ton of time left, but more than that - and I know I've said this before - I can't see Jon "hates seeing people burned alive" Snow falling in love with D "loves to burn people alive" T. Could it be a political thing? Maybe, but I also could see her having an alliance with Aegon.

I think there's 2 possible reasons for this being in the show and presented as an actual romance. 1) it was supposed to be that pol!Jon theory, but they chickened out (same with jonsa & a love triangle, I think they chickened out bc of the incest. I think now with hotd being incest central and fans loving it, they wouldn't balk anymore). 2) just the spectacle of it? people have been theorizing this for years, why not give it to them? see above, brai.me

Tyrion as Hand: bleh. I know the fandom loves him and he was clearly D&D's fave, but grrm has said Tyrion is the most morally gray character, and I can't see him letting Tyrion get everything he's always wanted, you know? People think asoiaf is grimdark, but I can't imagine grrm punishing Jon with banishment while giving Tyrion a cushy position with lots of power.

I've read the theory that Tyrion ends up at the Wall, which I like thematically, but again, WHAT PURPOSE DOES THE WALL SERVE. Is it just a penal colony at that point?? someone smarter than me, tell me.

Grey Worm & Missandei condoning/encouraging D: hated it. Take the only characters of color to have speaking lines (i'm 99% sure) in the last season and turn them vengeful and murderous (especially grey worm). Throw their characters under the bus to absolve D of blame

Arya killing the Night King: no. he doesn't exist in the books, first, and even in the show it made zero narrative sense. It was just a Shock Value™ twist. You thought it was gonna be hero Jon, hmmmmmm? WRONG. I've said it on here before, but my hope is that it's Sam that brings down the Others in the book somehow.

.

Did I forget anything, anon? This probably veered wildly from the point of the ask, but oh well, it was fun. (I had a jonsa section in here at first, but then I remembered this is show canon ending stuff and that was not canon sorry fellow jonsas. I obvioulsy want it to be the ending bc the shipper brainrot is real, buuuuuut...)

[paalove]

BL tag game

thanks for the tag, @ragingbyesexual ! it was like five days ago oopsieeeee

All-Time Favorite BL Character and Why?

white! it's my special baby boy white who is yes, frankly, a little bit dumb for the whole "wait 👁👄👁 having a diplomat dad means i have an unfair advantage trying to join the civil service? there's a thing called 'privilege'" when my man is at least 20 and has literally got a polisci degree. but i love him.

(honorable mentions: pharm and manaow from uwma and aoey and tiffy from lovely writer)

One Character You Want to Punt Into the Stratosphere

i'm going to say literally every character that's like, the "shipper on board (derogatory)" type. not the ones who are just "teehee you guys'd be cute!" but... you know the type. the sister from whyru, ones like her.

Best Music Moment

seanwhite's oeoeoeoeoe song. everlast. you guys know 😭

A Popular Het Text You'd Like To See As A BL

persuasion! not the way netflix did it 💀 but it's my fave austen novel by far and, crucially, the characters literally have to be proper adults lol... it's important that they broke up eight years ago when they were young adults and now they know themselves better. the ANGST is ideal and lets be clear: i would definitely want the love interest to be as much of a dick as wentworth, flirting with a pair of significantly younger siblings riiiiight in front of our anne.

apparently i have strong opinions on this.

BL Scene that Makes Me Laugh

p much every product placement scene, especially the theory of love video game one where third's like "no, i'd shoot you in real life too".

Biggest Disappointments

LOVELY WRITER... i loved aoey (love me a boy who cries a lot and just wants to bake hi aoey hi tar hi non) and i loved tiffy until the "actually you're gay" plot but otherwise that show was...

2 Random Characters That Would Make Hilarious Exes

manaow and gram, like a high school thing, i think they would have gotten into Situations fdjdnffd

Who Would Be The Funniest People to Watch A BL with and Which One?

my friend who made me watch a formula one race. fair is fair im making you watch my engineer (i have already explained not me in literal scene-by-scene detail while they watched formula one. it was very "neurodivergent children who like to do parallel play" fjdjnfjndf)

Best Wardrobe Moment? Character or Otherwise

omgggg im gonna be An Homosexual about this: eugene's croptop+leggings looks jesus fucking christ. christ alive she is so sexy.

(non-character: both gun and love going blond/e was Iconique)

i have no idea who hasn't been tagged yet - @disaster-j and @surajmukhis and also, like, anyone who wants to i guess

[purple-phantoms]

Happiest Place on Earth

Modern!Reggie Peters x Gender-Neutral!Reader, Luke Patterson x Alex Mercer

Based off of: #95 from my bucket list, Spend the whole day at Magic Kingdom

A/N: This was requested by @i-should-be-writing-my-own-fic ! This is mostly going to be based off of research and memory. I’ve been to Magic Kingdom before, but only when I was 7 so I barely remember anything. In school a couple years ago I used to plan out which hotel I was going to stay in and which rides I wanted to go on lol. It’s such a shame that the pandemic had to hit. Also I’m basing this off of Disney World in Florida because I’m more familiar with that one. This is super long and not great, but hope you like it!

Summary: Y/n, Alex, Luke, and Reggie spend the day at Disney’s Magic Kingdom. Y/n and Reggie stay together while Luke and Alex pair up. Both groups try to hide their relationships from the other, until everything magically unfolds.

Masterlist

For reference, if you’ve never been to Disney World and have no idea what the rides are, I’m including links to pictures I used to write this.

For “Peter Pan’s Flight”: Youtube video, Google Images link

For “Be Our Guest”: Disney World website, Pinterest image

For “Pirates of the Caribbean”: Youtube video

For “Splash Mountain”: TikTok from Pinterest, Youtube video

The warm sun rose on the concrete. Thousands of people lined up outside the gates to purchase their tickets for the giant themepark. Them and the boys waited anxiously. They were just about to get to buy their tickets but there was a giant family of 7 in front of them. It felt like years before they called the next people. It felt like centuries before they were allowed to enter the paradise. The four of them split up into pairs; Alex and Luke, and Y/n and Reggie. They wanted to go their separate ways and go on all the rides possible and occasionally meet up to get food and relax.

The first stop for y/n and Reggie was to Cinderella’s castle for pictures. Reggie dragged them by the hand to get as close to the castle, pushing past a lot of people in the process. In their bag was a polaroid camera. It probably wasn’t the best idea to bring something like that to a theme park where it could easily be misplaced or stolen, but memories, right? Y/n took pictures of Reggie first. He did some poses both facing away from the castle and facing the castle. Next was y/n’s turn. Now, y/n was smart. They bought some Disney related things way before the trip. They bought Mickey Mouse earrings and ears for their outfit. Y/n did the same as Reggie and took pictures facing away and towards the castle.

Next stop was to It’s a Small World in Fantasyland. Y/n and Reggie sat in the boat together and swayed to the music as they started moving in the ride. The animatronics were cool but really creepy at the same time. “What if one of those just exploded like in a sci-fi movie,” y/n laughed. Most times y/n was capable of correctly anticipating what would come next in a ride. They could tell that this was just a chill ride, but it’s always fun to imagine the unlikely.

“If that happens, you should just snatch one of them up, and then we just have to run,” Reggie smiled as they laughed. Y/n and Reggie were always the ones in the group who thought that way. Obviously, they wouldn’t actually do that, but that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be cool if they did.

Next they went to Peter Pan’s flight. Peter Pan had always been one of Reggie’s favorite characters because of his youth. Obviously before getting in line y/n had to take a picture of Reggie. God, he was gorgeous.

The wait was longer than what they had expected but it was worth it. The scenery was a beautiful sight. When they finally got to the end of the line, they gingerly entered their cart. The ride was chill like the one they had been on before. Reggie kissed y/n on the cheek before laying his head on y/n’s shoulder as they travelled through Neverland. All the animatronics looked so life-like and accurate to the movie. It would be crazy not to take just a few pictures.

The pair got off the ride and went on to the next one, then the next one, until they got hungry. Reggie texted Luke and Alex to find a place to meet up. They decided on the Be Our Guest restaurant. Once they all arrived, they felt underdressed. The restaurant looked exactly how you’d expect it to if you were living in the castle. The walls and tiles were yellow and blue, and the ceiling was painted with a renaissance-like picture. 

“You guys seriously couldn’t have picked a more low-key place to eat?” Luke grumbled. This kind of thing had never been his style. He “hated” talking about the Disney princesses, he said they were too “feminine” for him.

“We came for the vibe, not the reality, loser,” Alex said. Reggie and y/n shook their heads. Sitting down for a little bit was quite refreshing. All 4 of them ate all the food they ordered, and it was a lot. But hey, they need their energy! 

They sat in a little silence as they waited for their bill to arrive. They were all ready to go on more rides, but also ready for a nap. It’s too bad they were only spending the day there. A kick to the foot knocked y/n out of their daydream. “Ow,” they shouted.

“Oh sorry,” Alex said. “Me and Luke are going to be right back.” Y/n and Reggie looked at each other and laughed.

“Reggie, get your friends,” y/n laughed. Alex and Luke had been like this for a while now, and it was a little weird.

“I think they just went to take pictures,” Reggie shrugged. Y/n laughed.

“Yeah, of each other’s lips,” y/n said. Alex and Luke being a couple was always a theory that y/n and Reggie would talk about. After all, most times movie nights are with a group of people, not just with one person. Well it’s not like y/n and Reggie could speak on that either. They didn’t want Alex and Reggie to know about their relationship because they just wanted to keep it to themselves. 

Then the couple pair came back. Alex looked completely normal while Luke’s shirt was super wrinkled.... like as if someone was grabbing at it.

“So where did you two go,” y/n asked with a smirk. Bothering Alex when he’s flustered was always a funny sight. He would never be able to say a single thing without chuckling or running his fingers through his hair.

“We uh-” Luke had to pause to think. “We went to go find a map.” Then he pulled one out of his back pocket, which he totally had way before. Le-let’s go on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride,” He stuttered.

“Thought you don’t like that stuff,” Reggie smiled.

“Well now I do,” Luke said as he grabbed his stuff.

The walk to Adventureland was long, but funny. Reggie couldn’t stop talking about that one time he dressed up as Jack Sparrow for y/n’s costume party last year. The same costume party where y/n and Reggie expressed their feelings for each other. The same costume party where they purposely hid in the closet so that nobody would know that they were officially together. The same costume party that nobody knew the full story about. “Guys, it literally was like 7 minutes in heaven,” Reggie beamed. “I felt like I could’ve gotten married right there.”

“Hey Reggie, do you remember how we agreed to not talk about that party,” y/n lied. They never had an actual agreement. Y/n just thought that neither of them would get close to exposing the truth.

“No, y/n,” Alex put his hand up. “I want to hear this one.” Y/n gave Reggie the look, hoping he’d understand and stop talking. He didn’t.

“Are you and this person still together,” Luke asked. Stop egging him on!!

“Obviously,” Reggie smirked as he put his arm around them. 

“WHAT!” Alex and Luke yelled at the same time.

“I knew it, I knew it!” Alex cheered. 

“Can you guys shut up?” Y/n grumbled.

“Yeah, are you guys going to get on the ride,” the operator asked. Woops.

“My bad, y/n,” Reggie whispered. 

“It’s fine,” y/n said.

“It’s not fine,” Luke yelled. “This is huge, why didn’t you tell us?”

“You know what, Luke,” y/n turned around to face him. “In this ride there are probably real skeletons being used as props. If you don’t leave me alone I will donate yours to this ride when you die.” Luke sat back in his seat and fell silent. Saying things like that always worked with the guys. 

When they got to the battle part, Reggie reached to hold y/n’s hand in his. Y/n squeezed his. They weren’t mad at him, they already knew Reggie was an airhead. This would have happened one way or another.

The four of them decided to go on Splash Mountain next. Y/n did this on purpose. They knew none of the boys knew that they’d get splashed on the ride. Perfect payback.

“Luke and Alex, I think you guys should sit in the front for this one,” y/n smiled.

“Why,” Alex asked.

“What, you don’t want to be the first ones to see everything,” y/n said sarcastically. The two boys shrugged in response. 

They got into the raft with Luke and Alex sitting in the front and Reggie and y/n sitting right behind them. “So why are they sitting in the front,” Reggie whispered to them.

“It’s so that they’ll get splashed the most,” y/n laughed. And they did. On the first drop, they were moving their soaking wet hair out of the way of their eyes and screaming profanities. It didn’t help that there were little kids on the raft with parents yelling back at them to stop cursing. Y/n and Reggie sat back and laughed as their friends got soaked.

Luke and Alex were mad when they got off the ride and saw that y/n and Reggie were completely dry. “Y/n you did this on purpose,” Alex shouted.

“Yeah, I did,” y/n laughed. “So when were you guys going to tell us that you were dating?”

Alex and Luke’s jaws looked like they were going to hit the floor. “How did you know?” Alex asked

“You guys literally left us to go make out,” Reggie pointed out.

“Riiiiight,” Luke blushed.

“Yeah, so Reggie and I are going to go do ‘official couple’ things like go find Mickey and Minnie,” y/n smiled. “Let’s go, Reg.” 

Taglist:

@flashoe @carnationcreation @camihoran00 @joyjoyner @prongsy-parker

Add yourself to my taglist!

[swashbucklery]

Hey if you don't mind me continuing to ask you Legends of Tomorrow questions - is it narratively vital to watch the crossovers? Would you recommend it even if its not vital? I don't watch much of the DC shows - I'm watching Batwoman, and I watched like a season and a half of Supergirl, but I think I'm vaguely familiar with characters and stuff through cultural osmosis, it that helps.

Oh this is a VERY good question. So, from Legends perspective the crossovers are:

S2: the Dominators! This is the very first crossover and VERY soft; it is not narratively relevant to the Legends storyline at all and includes the DUMBEST name for an alien species I’ve ever heard! I have a soft spot for it bc Sara Lance is my best girl and the throughline of S2 for her is coping with Laurel’s death and they have some good content for her in the Arrow ep of the crossover? But the Broader Internet didn’t love it, so you could skip it without any issue.

S3: Crisis on Earth X which is upsetting as fuck and frankly unwatchable. Earth X is, I guess, famous in DC Comics Canon for being the earth where the N*zis won WW2 and then Superman was a N*zi, which even if they’re evil is tone deaf at best, but they managed to time the airing of this crossover for riiiiight when the post-45 rise in fasc*sm was at its peak and it Does Not Read Well. There is a major spoiler event for Legends in this crossover; when you get to it just send me an ask and I’ll give you the synopsis and save you the trouble. This crossover was the first time they changed the format from separate episodes that were clearly of the show they came from to like…basically a four-episode miniseries with an overarching arc. That doesn’t give it shit from me though, I’m still mad.

S4: Elseworlds. For some ~unfathomable reason~ Legends opted to skip the crossover? Anyway Elseworlds was actually not bad and is the backdoor intro to Batwoman (in theory it’s set during Batwoman S1; the jailbreak they refer to that lets Mouse escape is I think supposed to be the one that happens in Elseworlds) and also sets up Crisis on Infinite Earths which is the crossover currently happening that will lead into Legends S5. The Oliver/Barry/Kara dynamic is quite cute here, and there’s a lot of making fun of Oliver Queen that I find deeply, personally satisfying. Watchable and fun but not narratively necessary for Legends at all.

And Crisis you probably do have to watch - they’re only halfway through it at this point, but apparently it’s going to like melt the universe or whatever so I imagine there’s going to be narrative fallout for most of the CWverse shows going forward.

[bounward]

t1.3 ⟨ grow ⟩ 👨‍🚒 < re: dawson-ish campion, knife talk

All this talk of weapons, and, instead of responding with outrage at having been skipped over, he swivels around to face Prix.

“LEVELING THE PLAYING FIELD, HUH, RAT?! WELL TOO BAD! IT’S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN A GUN OR A KNIFE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU PUT IN PEOPLE’S ROOMS TO KILL [CHUCK]!”

He turns to Dawson, letting out a laugh.

“Why the long face, man, don’t you get it? She didn’t give us any weapons ‘cause we don’t need ‘em! That means we’re like, super strong on a base level, dude! You gotta OWN THAT SHIT! FUCK YEAH!”

... Interesting take.

He then changes his vote to Campion, turning to address her because that’s not a weird thing to do at all.

“Was thinkin’ along the same line as Holly: that the knife was in the killer’s hand before they got caught in the plants. ‘n then I thought maybe the perp was holdin’ onto it but then had t’ let go... ‘cause, y’know, Chirin made the vines go all--”

And here he ... waves his arms and lets out a WHOOOOSH!

“And they got startled, let go, and then maybe fell down? But, uh... dunno about that anymore. Whatever!”

... Seems like he’s the type who’s as attached to his theories as he is to his romantic partners.

“Mm... but on that note...”

He stops, listens as more theories were put forth...

“Let’s back up a second here. Wouldn’t the knife have to belong to the killer? Like, ‘m pretty sure if it got nabbed by someone the knife’s original owner woulda rolled up all ‘ooOOHH has anyone seen my knife, my knife’s missing’ riiiiight?”

[roraruu]

wip: soft

even more vamp au... 

Silque hates that he is right. She does see him the next phase of the moon, when it is only a fine crescent hanging in the sky. The Festival of Flostym—a celebration of spring—takes up most of her time. She attends the festival hand-in-hand with Genny and Celica and Boey and Mae. They dance and make flower wreaths and spread the Mother’s bounty of spring.

Genny wants to take a handful of flowers to the cemetery, but is too scared to go. “Will you do it for me?” She asks. Silque cannot day no to such a sweet plea.

She takes the handful of wildflowers from Genny and says she will only be a moment. Her feet carry her to the gates, stopping to admire the crumbling posts. If they had more money, more workers, perhaps they would repair the old stone and bring in new gates; but it is not so.

And, though it sends a chill down her spine, there is an eerie beauty to the forgotten ruins of the cemetery. The air is cool and chilly, and she wishes she had brought a robe or worn a thicker dress. She kneels to the earth and lays Genny’s offering of wildflowers at the cemetery gates.

“Silque.”

She looks up into red eyes. He is in the shade, hidden from the scorching sunset. She can barely make out the folds of his cloak and the curve of his sharp jaw.

“Python.”

As he’s done before, he smiles when she says his name. He flicks his head towards the town. “Ditching the party?”

“Only came as a favour to a friend.” She says.

“Ah, and here I was thinking you were all dolled up for me.” He says. “Nice dress. I like it better than the hunting one.”

“Apologies, but I am not.” She says. She picks up the bouquet. “Would you do me a favour?”

His brow raises. “Depends.”

Silque holds out the delicate bouquet to him, just before the gates. She can feel the pull of Mila’s holy hands on her body, pulling her away from the world of the dead. “Lay down some of these flowers on the graves?”

“Oh riiiiight you can’t go in.” He says.

His skeletal hand comes out from the gates. His fingers curl around the petals, avoiding hers. He’s not willing to repeat the same mistake as last time.

“Forget me nots. Didn’t know you were so sentimental.”

“It is not mine. Someone else made it.” She says. She doesn’t suspect that he’d go after another member of her priory now that they have an understanding, but she cannot be sure. Although it is not like Genny to leave the priory most days, it is still a matter of safety.

The bouquet disappears behind the gates and she turns away.

“Where you going?” He asks.

“Back to the festival.” She says, with a furrowed brow. He must have expected her to stay a while, y’all as they did before. There is a thin huff. The cemetery gates whine as his hand curls around the iron.

“I have a question for you.”

“And that is?”

“Do you intend to keep me?” He asks.

She blushes red. Clerics and priestesses of Mila are married to her and onlyher. Raising children is barely accepted even, unless they too are indoctrinated to her faith.

“What do you mean?” She asks. “I need explanation.”

The sun is fading more and more into the earth, the golden hour rapidly approaching and ending. “Well, you haven’t chased after me with that holy shit for awhile.” He says. “And we talk civilly now.”

She stays quiet.

“It isn’t proper behaviour for a vamp hunter, let alone a cleric. So I’ve been wondering if you’re planning to keep me or if you’re getting close just to plunge the dagger in my back.” His voice is low, almost a painful lull.

“I don’t know what I intend to do.” She says. “I suppose I want a little more information on your kind.”

“So you intend to keep me?”

“If that this what you want to call it yes, I’ll keep you.”

“Good.” He says. His face appears against the wrought gates. He holds out one of the forget me nots. “Come back later, bring your journal.”

“All right.” She says, and takes the flower. She turns away from the cemetery and goes back to her friends in the town square.

—

“Silque, may I have a word?”

The festival has ended. The priory is thankful further from the town, but the calls and chatter carry along the sea, reaching their little haven. It is mostly dark, some young priest having gone around to light candles and lanterns before they’d arrived home.

Celica’s voice is soft and sweet and stops Silque at her chamber door. “Of course.”

“May it be in your quarters? It’s of private nature.”

Alarm rises in Silque’s mind. “Yes, of course.” She says, opening the door to her room and shutting it quietly behind her. Celica is kind enough to use her fire spell to light the lantern on the writing desk. “What did you want to discuss?”

“I heard you talking with someone tonight.” Celica says.

Nervousness rises as Silque folds her hands together. “Mae thought you were in trouble, but I talked her down.” Celica says. “I just wanted to let you know in case you did have someone in your heart.”

Silque feels heat rise up her neck. She shakes her head quickly. Celica takes her hands, cold in hers. “Silque, it isn’t a bad thing to have someone you like.” She says, peering closer. “It is one of Mila’s tenets that we love others. To love is to be human.”

Human. Could humans only love? Terrors are not, of course, they only know fighting to survive. But does he—

Gods.

“If you do have someone, I could keep Mae and Genny closer to the priory, but only if you promise to stay safe?” Celica offers. She gives a soft giggle. “After all, there’s still that vampire, although we haven’t seen him for a while now...”

Silque thinks about her choice carefully. She nods slowly. “Yes, I’d appreciate it if you could keep the girls closer to the priory.”

Celica beams. “Of course. You know, it makes me really happy to hear you’ve found someone new.” She says. “When you came to the priory, you relied so much on the Mother—it’s important to rely on people too... Seems you’ve learnt that.”

Silque only forces a smile as Celica excuses herself from her room and Silque waits until the paces in the hallways stop and prayers fall silent.

Guilt washes over her. How can she fraternize with the enemy so easily? He poses a threat to them, should he just decide to change his mind and sink his teeth in the body of a fisherman or seamstress or—Mila forbid—a child...

She doesn’t realize her feet have taken her to the edge of the Priory, where he waits among the trees. A smile in the dark, her worries fade.

—

“Bring your journal” is a signifier that he will tell her everything he knows. Most of their meetings end with that command, save for a week where he disappears to the mainland to feed.

Somehow, he knows what nights she has patrols on, although they’ve decreased thanks to Celica’s words to Mae. The mage gripes that she wants to torch the “bloodsucker” alive and splash him with holy water so his skin burns away. She is thankful for Celica’s intervention.

They abandon the riverside darkness and instead roam out to the beach and sea. Sitting on rocks, he tells her secrets and things that disprove almost every theory in her book. A sense of pride washes over her: she has been able to tame a beast, as well as prove scholars wrong. And although too much pride is bad to have, Silque revels in it, albeit the smallest bit.

He kicks his boots through the dirt as she sips water from a skin and makes notes about holy water on the skin. She brought a little vial with her and it burnt his skin, sizzling like water in a hot cast iron pan. She’d offered gauze again but he refused, instead cussing under his breath and saying that it was a new finding.

“I want to know about your charm.” She says, eyes still on the paper.

“What about it?” He asks.

“Does it work on anyone? Or is it only women?”

He shakes his head. The corner of his lip turns up. “Nah. Anyone really.” He says. “Granted they’re not under Mila’s protection.”

“Right.” She says.

“Take off your necklace.” He says. Silque doesn’t listen. “See? Didn’t work.”

She rests her journal in her lap, her hands reaching around her neck and pulling off the necklace. He stares at her for a moment.

“Try now.” She says.

He continues to stare for a moment after she sets the necklace on the rock beside her. Almost immediately she is washed in nausea of allure. “Come over here.” He orders.

Her thoughts are muddy once again, thick and drowning out the don’t go and staythat her mind tells at her. The words become quieter and muffled as she pushes herself off of the rock and her journal falls into the sand. His order drowns out all other thoughts and actions. She feels her feet against the sand as she moves closer to him.

She must remember this, the ache in her head, the swimming feeling, the lack of control over her body. She wants to tell herself to keep all these thoughts in the front of her mind but they are all drowned out by the lull of his voice, the soft and sternness in it.

Charm, he calls it. He is attractive like a magnet and she that grains of sand on the beach.

She stands before him, looking deeply into his tired red eyes.

“Give me your hand.”

She holds it, palm up. His fingers, graze against her palm, over the soft pink flesh that was once cut by herself. It has begun to scar. She watches as his gaze narrows on the wound, then meets herself again. She feels his intoxicating touch, freezing cold against her warm body. She feels his own wound against hers, although his is not healing, instead degrading.

Her thoughts are muddy as he drops her hand. He stoops low, her eyes following his. “Go get your necklace and put it back on.” He orders and she follows. Her mind becomes clear again, her lungs filling up with a full breath. She didn’t realize how short of breaths she became under his charm.

“How do you do that?” She asks almost breathless. She fumbles with the necklace, catching between her fingers. When she turns around, her eyes widen. His fingers are on her papers. The sermons she’d wrote. Hymns for the goddess. She flushes.

“O holy divine one, let your feeble children be moulded by your hand. Guide and teach them with your love. Save them as you saved me—“ His eyes flicker to hers. “The Mother saved you?” He shakes his head. “What she come off her holy throne and dry your tears?”

She stiffens. Most everyone on the island knows about what happened to her. What is she, who she is.

“Yes.” she says. “May I have my journal back?”

He laughs a little bitterly, a little softly. “I want to know more about you, Silque.” He says.

She can only oblige. It is fair after all. He mentioned his career in the army, albeit without many details. It is only fair that she give him a little bit. “In my dreams she came to me and told me to hold hope.”

“You don’t look so destitute to me.”

“I was found at the greatport as a child.” She says thinly. His face falls from his menacing smile. “My Mother had been... like you are and before the sun rose she aimed to...”

She can’t finish the sentence. Lowly, she adds. “I heard someone calling me to the priory, and it was Mila. She saved me from that thingand delivered me to love and guidance.” She says. “I took it as a revelation to be a cleric and a hunter.”

“I’m sorry.” He grumbles. It takes her back for a moment and she glances away.

“Don’t be.” She says.

He holds out her journal and she takes it, beginning to write down her observations. She can only think of the leer he’d given her. He obviously wasn’t a believer in Mila in his last life, most definitely in this one too. She sits back against the rock and tries to focus on the paper before her and find the words to describe how muddy her mind had become, how she lost control of her body, how she almost felt like she was in a trance—

His voice breaks the air. “I have a friend back on the mainland. Sometimes when I go back to feed, I’ll go past our old encampment to see if he’s there...”

“Do you miss him?”

He meets her gaze. Then he half shrugs. “I just wonder how he’s been keeping. He’s... soft.”

“I’m sure he misses you.” She offers.

He laughs, breathy and not quite joyous or mocking. It’s... pained. “Sure he does.”

[thesportssoundoff]

What Happens When You Take A Bad Idea And Make It Worse? LET’S TALK ABOUT THE BRAWL FOR ALL!

Joey

March 11th

The Mother Fucking Brawl For All.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd actually get around to this but there are miracles around us and what better time than now? The Brawl For All is generally regarded as one of the worst ideas of all time in a business with an entire genre dedicated to grown men and women smashing each other with fluorescent light tubes and slamming one another on beds of nails and thumbtacks. In a business that up until the mid 80s featured nazis goose stepping around and up until 2003 or so regularly and routinely featured women wrestling in their bloomers, the Brawl For All is the one idea that every human being unanimously believes was a disastrous failure. It's the one unanimous tire fire that not even it's most ardent supporter can put out. Not even WCW's junkyard battle royale which featured multiple injuries due to WCW not gimmicking the cars and just having guys taking bumps onto cars and through glass windshields is hated this much. The Brawl 4 All is one of those things people can't even sum up with "It was bad!" and move on. You have to go through layers and layers and levels of badness. You have to view it almost as an affront to your sensibilities, as a personal attack on you as a fan. Hell not just as a fan but as a human being!

Vince McMahon and company have failed in previous ventures before and ventures after. The XFL, the World Bodybuilding Federation, the ECW relaunch, 65% of the undercard Attitude Era angles, their really expensive WWE Films attempts. Some could even argue that the brand split originally was a failure in some respects given that Smackdown never really got going on its own and Raw declined sharply from the brand split onward. That said those failures at least had SOME inkling and morsels of promise behind them. Not the Brawl For All. It was a bad idea from the start, a bad idea during and made even worse by what happened afterwards. Also? The Brawl For All is one of those things that every wrestling fan and every wrestling personality has a hard opinion on, the kind of shit that lends itself to so much gossip, rumor and conversation. Over the next few weeks, I want to discuss the Brawl 4 All a bit more. I want to delve into it because it's as close as we'll ever get to a universal no hope no spin failure by the WWE and because...well...it's one of my favorite fuck ups of all time. It's always been something that fascinated me from watching it live as a casual fan to laughing at it as a smart fan when I stumble across it to making a near yearly pilgrimage to youtube to watch every single fight of it I can find before it got yanked. It's one of those wrestling stinkers that like December 2 Dismember or the Heroes Of Wrestling card that I'm magnetically attracted to. Every wrestling fan FEELS for the Brawl For All even if those feelings are utter disdain for everyone involved with it.

The Concept And How Fucked It Was From Jump

To get why this even happened, you have to go back in a time capsule. Despite catching fire in 1998, the WWF (for the purpose of being as thorough as possible here, we're gonna call 'em as they were when this happened) is still struggling to keep track with WCW Nitro. They're in the midst of an 83 week long ass eating from Ted Turner's Atlanta based wrestling promotion and "good ideas" are running dry. Understand that at this point the WWF has the single hottest property in the business but that sole property isn't enough to get over the hump vs the NWO, the cruiserweights, an ascending Bill Goldberg, Bret Hart, the return of Sting and what was genuinely just a better overall card. Even if Wrestlemania 14 gave birth to so many great stories going forward (Austin vs McMahon, the hard reboot of DX as a faction, Kane vs Undertaker's first match), WCW is in the midst of its highest grossing year ever. Vince McMahon has James Harden putting up 50 points a night and winning on his back but he's still looking up to the Golden State Warriors. Making matters worse, both companies are in the pro wrestling equivalent of an arms race.  Remember how when the UFC and Bellator in 2014 and 2015 signed anybody with a pulse because they were trying to fill up two insanely bloated schedules? It's a bit like that. Anybody who is good (and not a walking flag factory so to speak) is either in WWE or WCW at this point which means if you ONLY have two hours of content, you've got a lot of guys doing nothing.

The Brawl For All on its surface and without malice seems like an awful idea to try and remedy that. Pit sixteen dudes in a shoot tournament and let them go at it with set rules in place. It gets guys on TV, gives them something to do and at the end, in theory, the winner doesn't just get a big financial prize but come out in the end as a star. It's a chance to do something with a section of guys who are doing absolutely nothing at all. Sounds good, riiiiight? Well now let's break into some sexy rumor mongering about what this really was about:

-We can start with the mastermind! Vince Russo is the man who apparently concocted this concept which should be somewhat redeemable if what I laid out above was entirely 100% accurate. It's not entirely the case, even according to Russo's own words. Per Vince Russo, a large reason the Brawl For All came to be was that he had a beef with one of the wrestlers (Bradshaw aka John Bradshaw Layfield aka that guy who got flattened by ring announcer Joey Styles) consistently bloviating that he was the toughest guy in the locker room. Right off the jump, any sort of noble designs are whittled away. Now often in pro wrestling, there's 100 different stories to the same single event often shared by people IN the same room. Imagine how pronounced it is that a) everybody agrees that it was Russo's idea, b) everybody is under the impression that it was over a tiff with a pro wrestling with no shoot fighting experience and c) EVERYBODY agrees it was one of the worst concepts imaginable. The Brawl For All's entire seed was planted not so much out of a design to get guys work and on TV but out of wanting to see a loud dude get punched up. That's insanity out the gate.

-The Brawl For All was by invitation only and depending on who you believe, the process to select wrestlers was rather...exclusive. Bruce Prichard discusses in his podcast with Conrad Thompson that he was the guy who had to round up the talent to fill enough spots in the tournament. Prichard says he had to play to the egos of wrestlers and in a separate interview, Bart Gunn talks about how he got recruited basically by another member of the writing team as well. The name Bart Gunn will become pretty important down the line so jot that down in your notebooks real quick. Wrestlers were recruited with what seems like a pretty easy enough pitch and one I'd imagine that the UFC uses today  with their fighters; basically a "I mean don't you believe you're the toughest dude here?!" and a "We'll pay you!" and we're off to the races. Despite this, the Brawl For All struggled to get people to fill in the spots in no small part due to the fact that no star is going to partake in an absolutely stupid concept like this when they can just make their money being a star. The Brawl For All isn't even a TUF; it's a PFL tournament where all the dudes nobody else wants are lumped into a tournament format with the golden carrot of a $100,000 prize at the end of it.

-Perhaps worth more than the $100,000 prize was the either legit or illegitimate golden carrot of the winner getting to work a program with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Understand that no one single act was as hot and drawing as much money at this time as Steve Austin was. He was the it guy, the biggest star in the business and noway near close to peaking as a talent either. The Brawl For All $100,000 prize? That's cool and all  plus that was basically the downside guarantee for a year's worth of work. The opportunity to work with Stone Cold on a pay per view? That's the big money ticket. That's the opportunity to be a made man like how working with Hogan in the 80s was. For top guys, that opportunity may come along at any given point. Again going back a bit to TUF and the PFL, imagine if the UFC offered eight of its guys the chance to compete in a tournament for $100,000. Enticing! Now imagine the winner gets to fight Conor McGregor on a PPV. Tell me if it doesn't get every guy not named Khabib and Tony Ferguson jumping into it. That would be a great no doubt can't miss opportunity!

EXCEPT

-It was probably a lie. Scratch that. We can factually tell that any sort of Austin match for the winner was a lie since every person involved (sans one) says it was real and the winner never actually got said shot. Imagine if the tournament wasn't build on anything truthful but instead on a "The winner will be in the mix" from Dana White. While Bruce Prichard says there was no official plan for the winner to face Steve Austin, everybody else involved from talent to wrestling guru Jim Cornette seems to suggest there WAS a plan in place for the winner to win. That is, assuming of course, the winner was the guy they thought was going to win all along. More on that in the future but just know that the Brawl For All's fighters were flirted with a hush hush unofficial promise of facing Steve Austin that was probably never going to be fulfilled unless won by a specific party. Bart Gunn says he was told the winner would face Stone Cold and well....more on that at another time. Let's just say sports entertainment and combat sports have a long storied history of perhaps listening to the matchmakers a bit too closely.

-The rules for the Brawl For All? Well those were a mess. According to Bruce Prichard, the rules were still being worked out the week of. According to Steve Blackman (a dude who Bob Holly admits would've won the whole thing), there were plans to allow leg kicks and those rules just happened to get yanked the week of. The glove size seems to change depending on who you ask as the WWF says they were 16 ounce gloves but Bart Gunn argues repeatedly they were 22 ounce gloves. Some of the guys admittedly didn't even think it was a shoot fight either and at least one fighter fought thinking it was a work. According to Bart Gunn, even halfway through the tournament he kept expecting it to be a work suddenly.  The "official" Brawl For All rules had points for takedowns, points for a knockdown and points for more punches thrown across three one minute rounds. The scorecard part doesn't even matter at this point. To be honest, it didn't even matter then.

So let's talk about the big problem here

So imagine putting together a tournament designed around the concept of "Who's the toughest guy!" in a show where the audience is conditioned to believe that the toughest guy is the world champion or if the champion is a heel, the toughest guy is the babyface chasing said champion. We already in theory know who the toughest guy is or at least we're willing to suspend our disbelief. Also if we're to believe that the winner of the tournament is the toughest guy in the company, why aren't the big name tough guys we've been told are the tough guys competing in it? The concept falls flat right there on its own but the hole isn't deep enough. We gotta go from six feet to nine feet so now imagine that you've come up with this concept that pees on the first rule of your product. Make it worse. Make it so that the audience is being told to believe that what they see HERE AND ONLY HERE is legitimate.  NOTHING is as frustrating in pro wrestling as "a shoot." For those not addicted to sports entertainment meth, a shoot is something on the program that the audience is led to believe is real. Now for something to be "real" on a show that's already "real" then that in turn means what we're seeing is fake, right? So a "real fight" on pro wrestling ultimately means that what we're seeing is fake. Now most wrestling fans since the 70s and 80s have probably believed wrestling in some form or fashion is/was not real. We accept it as entertainment and as Jerry Jarrett once lovingly put it "theater of the illiterate." The key is to not remind us that what we're seeing is clearly fake (a problem wrestling fans seem to be having right now with Ronda Rousey). Reminding the audience that what they're saying is predetermined scripted fakeness and then asking them to invest into the REAL portion of the product that breaks their illusion only works if a star is doing it. It doesn't work if a bunch of random dudes and mid carders are doing it. Imagine if in the middle of one of those UFC Embedded gimmicks, we saw Conor McGregor rehearsing the press conference lines and then he went out to try and sell his beef with Cowboy Cerrone as legitimate. You've already hurt the audience's feelings and the Brawl For All actively did that at a time where all WWF fans wanted was to watch Stone Cold kick ass and DX make inappropriate jokes. You've brought DOWN the segment.

So now we're nine feel into the hole. Let's go sixteen feet deep. Nope! Let's go from here to fuckin' middle earth on this bad boy; pro wrestling is a TEAM effort. It requires two or more able bodied people to work together to create a magnificent fake fight spectacle that tells a story and ends with you becoming emotionally invested in its finish and what's to come. That requires participation. Now come up with a tournament where guys are going to beat the holy shit out of one another FOR REAL and then have to go back to participating with one another as if nothing happened! Every single wrestler involved in the Brawl For All has spoken about the bad blood and residual effects the Brawl For All had. Also remember these are not trained fighters either. Some of these guys are amateur wrestlers who probably haven't done that for years. Some dudes dabbled in kickboxing or BJJ on their spare time or in years outside of wrestling had some formal combat sports . Some of these guys were bodybuilders by trade and some of these dudes were just pro wrestlers who happened to have a few "So and so cleaned out a bar room with one hand and six beers!" type magical fishing trip stories. So you're taking a bunch of ego driven (some chemically enhanced) guys and sending them out there to beat each other up on a Monday or a Tuesday and then magically get over it in time to make the house show loop where they're going to team together. We've officially come out the other end through China, folks.

And yet despite all of this very obvious right in front of our faces warning signs, the Brawl For All existed.

Next time we'll talk about who was in it a bit more---and why IF the Brawl For All had a true tertiary motive designed to elevate one guy to superstardom, it was an even bigger failure than humanly possible.

[edgeofcollapse-blog]

[continued from x | @endw1gast]

“Sorry uh because I’m going to stay at your house? Yes. For a time. I lost Sakaar! My planet!”

The Grandmaster shook his head and put his hands on his waist. Really, his situation had changed dramatically… A week, or so, before, he was ruler of Sakaar. He throwed the best parties for the best guests, received strong fighters for his big arena,… Then he got betrayed, a revolution was made in his back and he was forced to leave Sakaar.

“Can you believe they stabbed me?! They did that. And ohh it hurt a lot.” And then his ship decided to stop here, on Earth. Certainly already damaged by the cosmic gateway that he had to take to get out of Sakaar…

En Dwi saw that the other was suddenly taken aback by his appearance, well their appearance, he shrugged. “Oh that… It happens! I already saw a lot of people looking like me- uhm us. It’s like the universe had no more inspiration and took the same design again and again hahaha! My design by the way. Because I was born before you all. Hum. Anyway, I’m The Grandmaster. Nice to meet you!”

"Your... your planet?” Ian repeated the stranger’s words back to him, noting with uncomfortable certainty that even their voices had a similar tenor, “Riiiiight. Sure. That makes perfect sense.”

At this point he was pretty close to just turning on his heel and heading back up the street to his apartment, but his incessant curiosity kept him there, whether he wanted to be or not.

“The Grandmaster?” he found himself repeating again, shaking his head slowly, “I’m not calling you that. And you’re not going to stay at my place. Absolutely not.”

Not wanting to sound too harsh, he finally gave his double a somewhat dubious smile. The things he was saying—however nonsensical—were oddly charming. And as for his explanation of their uncanny similarity... even though he most likely didn’t realise, he had unknowingly touched upon an aspect of fractal theory which Ian himself strongly subscribed to. Patterns, like ripples or echoes, repeating over and over again. Anything was possible after all.

“I can stand you a drink, but, ah, that’s about as far as it’ll go. If I start letting random people off the street stay at mine, my ex-wife’ll manage to worm her way back in somehow. Mark my words.”

[dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition]

tazchat: i genuinely cried multiple times listening to this episode

BARRY: Why don’t they trust me? I’m repeatedly possessing them and I’m whispering cryptic messages their way, two totally trustworthy things!

SAME ROOM WEIRD ENERGY

“welcome to the same room as me fellas i say horny a lot”

everyone remembers!!! oh geez

o fuck we’re actually getting a Griffin Cinematic Monologue already!!! a classic “we see” style one i thought that didn’t start until the END of this ep

THEY TAKE THE BADGE 😭🤠

“ALRIGHT BOYS LET’S THINK THIS THROUGH” / “...new, for you.”

“sounds to me like the bubble needs to go down” me when i got into a twitter fight with that One Podcaster

“all else fails we all die and come back later!” even tho the loops are over. i know it’s a goof but it’s a Sad Goof In Retrospect

ROSWELL WON’T HESITATE BITCH

“she’s EIGHT my dude.”

“let’s go dummy.” / “that’s a good one june. sick burn.” fucked up but cool when your dad’s weird alien friend shows up 12 years older a year after you met him and he supports your sick burns against cops.

“yeah, i’ve lied to kids before.” MERLE.

SEASICK BOYZ

i love the song “the purple worm” in theory but also like that is just straight up garageband loops a lot of the time. moreso than usual

merle casts a Good Spell and griffin gets a nat20 ... can’t even lie to make his dad feel good cuz they’re in the Same Room

Whenever He Casts A Fire Spell I Get Fuckin Hyped Like She Is Living Through You!

“why don’t you make a chair to throw at it!”

“i’ll tell you the one thing i always got.” / “what?” / “an idea!” he sounds so excited. i love him

Oh Worm

he just carries robot arms with him wherever he goes... to show off his collectionto Potential New Friends AND to fight big works with

“i got tentacles of my own!” / “oh i remember this one.”

Evard’s Black Tentacles: It Gets You Dick AND It Can Hold Back Worms That Are Trying To Destroy A City!

TAAKO THE PROPHECY OH GOD I’M GONNA LOSE IT GO RIIIIIGHT THE PROPHECY

travis is on the floor weeping and justin is fucking relishing in it

why would you separate the tanks from the spellcasters...

Clint Makes A Cunnilingus Joke: Why

magnus just straight up improvising weapons ALL the time is so good. i love him

JUNEBUG

“this is a shitty shit shit idea you know that right.”

ziplining down roswell

poor baby roswell :(

magnus and taako’s Dumbass Accidental Father Figure

“roz, i’m not gonna do that to you.”

magnus wants to make the engine big so they go faster. is that how cars work???

there are so many goddamned stunts in this scene

TELL ME THAT I MADE REFUGE SAFE

oh god :(

nonbirdnary

“and you are in a white space.”

magnus what the FUCK did you make.

avi: [john mulaney voice] YEP, same SHIT as ALWAYS!

babeys :’)

Well Boys We Saved The Town! And Nobody We Met Died! But Also We Were Brutally Reminded Of Our Own Personal Traumas So Was It Really Worth It?

HERE COMES BIG BITCH BARRY

big lich energy

“i’m really proud of you.”

“you’re the bad guy.” / “WHO TOLD YOU THAT.” / “the director?”

“do you trust me?”

poor guy :/

he’s just. fucked up. oh god.

“lup—they don’t trust me. i can’t do it anymore, lup, i’m sorry.”

“the hunger is almost here. and when it arrives, this world will be lost.” have some OPTIMISM bitch!!! good ending!!!!

avi just sees a goddess and he’s just chill about it. king.

this scene where the town catches up is so beautiful.

they built a sign that says “Thanks!”

I’m About To Start Crying

avi is such a cool dude i love him. good npc

PALOMA TIME

“did i make the right choice?” :( literally i started crying who am i

“big fuckin walking story bible over here.”

“TELL THEM TO MAKE MY DICK BIGGER!”

cassidy w a lil suit :) i picture cassidy as final pamesque and i don’t know why. but i love it

june is 15 :’) has a waitressing job and everything

An Tube With Magnus’ Name On It

barry stop possessing people jesus

“i won’t be able to protect you.” / “bite my ass,” and he opens the tube.

i wanna see ren.

“OH MY GOD TAAKO!”

top of her class :’)

“first and only graduate”

“i’ve been watching the whole time.” i’m literally crying. i hate this.

were the istus brothers modelled off of the undertale skellingtons. because uh happy fingers in his ass sunday

“is the static anything we need to be concerned about?” babe.

burly red robe

MOST BIRDS CAN FLY TO THE MOON

davenport takes the relic hell yeah

“that sounds fucking awful.” poor girl. Im Crying.

merle stargazes. which is nice. and deeply fucking sad.

there are fewer stars in the sky. merle it’s your evil fuckbuddy trying to talk.

IT’S KRAVITZ “DUMB BITCH” KRAVITZ.

super handsome face

“that one’s on me!”

“you can see what’s on it—but your mind turns to static.”

AND IT’S AN INCREDIBLY FAMILIAR FACE, MAGNUS, BECAUSE IT’S YOURS. LET’S FUCKIN GO WILD

[maevelin]

1/2 What I found so difficult to grasp in acowar (I hated the entire trilogy, although acotar had a lot of potential), was that Feyre didn't fight. It completely contradicts her whole arc and journey up till that point. Acomaf was her realising that she wanted to play a part in the war, she wanted to fight to defend her sisters and Prythian. One of her biggest arguments with Tamlin revolved around that. She spent acomaf learning how to fight, how to use her powers. Except she didn't.

2/2 Worse, she didn’t want to. The only reason SJM did this was because she wanted a satellite to showcase what was going on and Feyre was right there for her to use. All seven of the High Lords fought, but the High Lady, who was supposed to be the strongest, didn’t. She spent her time observing and being with her mate. That’s all she did. Even her actions in the Spring Court turned against her. I hated ACOWAR for many reasons, but that was definitely one of my top ones.

—

ACOWAR was a mess in many ways. I don’t hate the trilogy (except Acowar lol) but I do think it is awfully overrated. Generally speaking SJM has the tendency to hype things to an epic extent and in the end, she just can’t deliver (anyone remembers the riddle in the first book? lol). It is beyond her writing capabilities in my opinion. She does have a vision that should it be executed correctly it would indeed give a great pay off that obviously, the execution was bad. There was no substance. No real stakes. No loss that gave no realism whatsoever so everything was just polished (as a conclusion because the writing and the editing were anything but) and easy. No substance. Most of the things were convenient and anticlimactic. Basically, we had so many pages leading to a halfhearted lukewarm narration because everything was more telling than showing. You could take out 1/3 of the book and it would be the same. In the end, all the buildup and led to a sloppy mess.

That been said I didn’t mind that Feyre didn’t fight. Yes, the first person PoV can limit some of the options to the writers that don’t know how to use it correctly so SJM used -badly- Feyre’s voice as a satellite around everything as you pointed out.

But in the narrative, it wasn’t exactly out of reason. Yes, everything before that seemed to be leading there. But the issue Feyre had with Tamlin was not that he was not letting her fight exactly. It was the lack of choice. She had no voice. She had no options. She was not free to decide if she was going to fight or not. That was decided for her and in the end what she wanted, what she thought, what she felt had no importance and was sidelined. Feyre breaking free from that and eventually deciding for herself not to fight was as empowering as it would be for her to fight. Because it was her decision and hers alone. 

Yes she is a massive weapon given the powerhouse she turned to be (and I have things to say about this that fall to the Mary Sue special snowflake department but I digress) and under a different leadership her powers could have been applied far more effectively but in the end Feyre’s worth was not defined by her powers and she was not treated as an object to win a war. Should she have been? Given how this war was described and the lack of options and what would happen if they lost (which they knew very well) and how it was a matter of desperately needing all hands on deck and not having the luxury of stepping back…mmm… It is a big discussion. That can bring arguments both in favor of it and against such a decision. Military wise it was one of the book’s weaknesses in the way it was handled anyway. Everything about this war was simplified and romanticized and didn’t add up with what we were told it was going to be or what it was presented to be.

The thing, however, is that Feyre was just 20 years old. She was and is too young. She barely had been able to tap into her powers and their potential. She had been traumatized and was still healing and struggling. She had never been in a war. It is easy to say ‘but why didn’t she fight’ but it is not so simple. She had never been inside an army. She never knew the horrifying reality of it. Sure, in theory, it was easy to say I’ll fight but the reality of it was different. Taking a very young inexperienced civilian (from another country to add to that) that has no understanding of what war means, has never been into a bloody battlefield and has no training whatsoever when it comes to this and throwing them into the field and expecting them to go for the slaughter and act like a badass soldier and even more so as a badass leader is far more unrealistic and I feel many people would also jump at the opportunity to point that out. It seems that in some cases Feyre can’t win no matter what she does or how she acts and by extension neither can SJM. But the truth is that into the battlefield someone like Feyre could be instead of an asset a liability. 

My issue in Acowar was not that Feyre didn’t fight but how everyone else fought and acted or didn’t. 

How these people won the war is something beyond my understanding. I am even putting the extreme powers, everyone conveniently has, aside. In the end, wars are won by careful planning and strategy. Did we see anything of that at any point? They were all acting like headless chicken running around.There was disarray. Everyone was doing what they wanted without any consistency or consequence. This was meant to be a tight teamwork under strong leadership. Did we actually see that? 

Rhysand had no plan really. He winged most of all and somehow his hidden agendas and ‘plans’ that were treated as “hey I have a secret ace in my sleeve that I haven’t told anyone about. Surprise!’ and were delivered as twists and it was just a sloppy mess. 

Azriel was able to infiltrate the Hybern camp so easily with no worry for the consequences and what it would mean for the outcome of the war if he died or was captured (given his position along with Feyre’s) or what it would mean if he went into the battlefield injured (imagine that) but then this was pointed as heroic instead of plain stupid. Yeah yeah they saved Elain and it was important but we are talking about a WAR here. 

Cassian was meant to be THE General. The Commander. He was instead a suicidal idiot that instead of leading the armies he was all over the place. Generals like him lose wars. 

Morrigan is my main issue here. Feyre not fighting made sense. You know what didn’t make any sense whatsoever? The fact that in the previous books it was hyped that she was THE Morrigan. That in the previous war she made a name for herself. That she had this awesome power that made her a legend. That in the battlefield this would be one of the saving graces that could win any war. Please do tell me what Morrigan’s power is? Really I want to know. I may have missed it somehow. What was her extraordinary value in the field? She fought yes. She supposedly has moves. Good. And we were told that she did and how good she is in combat. Great sure. I am not devaluing it but the writing itself did. Because the trilogy was not leading to that anticlimactic performance that basically gave no answers to the questions and the hype that surrounded Morrigan. Did you see the Night Court’s Third in Command anywhere in the book and more so in the final battle? I am not even here to address Rhysand’s constant vile treatment that deprived her her choices and her options and even her leadership (which was Feyre’s issue with Tamlin but here for The Night Court’s third in command it was just swept under the rug). But really. What was Morrigan’s extraordinary indomitable might everyone feared? Because if she had all that power that even the King of Hybern had seen in Acomaf and was in awe of then what was she waiting for? Why didn’t ANYONE had a strategy here? Why didn’t she used it? She was an awesome kickass fighter but so were all the soldiers that fought out there. What made her so different? They got to the point where they were losing the war and we didn’t see Morrigan being THE Morrigan. Morrigan that is centuries old. Morrigan that had fought in wars and was actually fighting in that one too. The Morrigan you know. Really…I couldn’t believe what I was reading or what I wasn’t reading for that matter.

In the end, everyone had an idea (usually wacky and stupid) and were like let us do that. Sure Jan. Go for it. It is not as if there is anyone taking charge and actually leading.

And do not get me started on how everyone was stopping in the middle of the battle to frigging CHAT! Like are you kidding me? Go and gossip and babble in your free time you idiots! 

Like seriously! It was no wonder that Elain was able to freely and easily take a walk through the battlefield and stab the King. No one else would have been able to do it anyway. It was not just the element of surprise. It was basic incompetence. From all sides concerned.

Not to mention that their half-assed master plan with the cauldron almost destroyed the world/universe because you know they were so clever about it. Which showed in the way they handled themselves in the war and in the whole book really. I mean I shouldn’t have expected much from the people that had as a great plan to show their ‘true’ selves instead of their ridiculous asshole facade and not stay calm in one meeting and couldn’t do that. And while they couldn’t decide with their mean girl invitations where they would meet and what they would wear the King of Hybern ‘ambushed them’ and acted faster which was such a surprise and such a twist.Who would have thought? Right? Riiiiight.

And then the actual war came and …sigh…

I kid you not I kept reading and for the most part when I was not rolling my eyes I was like…morons. 

That sentiment has not really gone away tbh. And that is not even me talking about the other parts of the book that made me salty like the OOC and the suicide pacts and the nonsense in general. 

[krshush]

so. Okay. SO. NWEWY Spoilers [W2D4]

but Uzuki talking abt how, if ([Uzuki voice] WHICH IT IS NOT POSSIBLE BU IF--) IF the Twisters walked into the Game from the RG, they just Stopped... existing is. interesting. Horrifying also, bc like it sounds like that was always what happens if you're Alive but enter The Game. There's no good 1st game example of this though, since Joshua is an outlier in so many ways and wasn't really... dead OR alive at the time even though Kariya thought he was.

MORE interesting still is that she explained the Shinjuku Inversion, which needed the clarification after so many people were Unclear on what happens to a City if the UG just. stops existing. and the answer is its existence is Erased.

Sooo [nervous laugh] when the Composer was plotting such a convoluted way of off himself in the first game, Shibuya literally would've been consumed by the surrounding districts once the UG got Erased.

But hey I mean Shibuya's still there, and now there's new places it inherited from Shinjuku, so it's just fine, right? riiiiight?

ALSO interesting is that the Shinjuku Reapers are more or less in charge of the Game right now. I've already said this, but it is given more context with Uzuki's discontent with how its ran now and her position now seemingly over Kariya rather than his equal partner. the Shinjuku Reapers less begged so much as filled in the gaps left in the wake of the Long Game: there were no Reaper Officers that survived that after all, and a Composer without his Conductor.

But DEFINITELY ALSO gives more weight to my "Joshua's hands were tied, he had to let them into Shibuya even as he spies into their machinations" theory.

[zesbian]

How was she emotionally and sexually manipulative to him? I’m not doubting it or saying you’re a liar, I’m just wondering since I’m a new fan.

its sorta hard to explain cause its a loooooong story. but just using the lyrics alone (theres other sources too but i dont have any on me sry), u can look at the lyrics of Its You (p obvious what that’s about), Pillowtalk (MAYBE!!!), She Dont Love Me (BIIIG ONE), part of Blue, Fool For You, and probably Rear View. he basically tells a story over the album about a girl who only stayed with him cause the sex was good, pretended to love him because of that, and used his love for her against him. 

some p telling lines are literally all of Its You (esp “she got Her own reasons For talking to me And she don't, she don't, she don't Give a fuck About what I need”), and in She Dont Love Me,  “I think I know she don't love me, That's why I fuck her right” which sorta confirms the fan speculation that she only pretended to love him cause the dick was good (she also confirmed in an interview that she never really loved him, i have 0 idea of the source for this tho im sry). Pillowtalk miiiight just be a sex song about Gigi lol, but it feels like there’s a deeper meaning of the concept again that after they fucked there wasnt much else to talk about even though he wanted to be close to the person. and the whole concept of Blue (partially, again) and Fool For You, being that he sort of was getting the validation from his relationship but the girl was not rly reciprocating those feelings (Blue specifically “She knows I need her loving She knows I need her touching She plays with my heart and emotion I give her my love and devotion She gave me her thought and a notion”). in Rear View, i’ve heard multiple theories on this one. i personally think he’s sort of like talking to himself about all the shit he’s been through, so idk if all of it is about P*rrie, but some of it i rly believe is, for example “As long as you look me in the eyes I'll go wherever you are I'll follow behind”, which i mean........ does that not sound like someone who was manipulated to you? the whole song just sorta sounds like someone mourning them losing trust in people over failed relationships. (of course many argue that it’s about 1d and about his struggle with his mental health, which i also think it might be about, but hey its all up to interpretation). 

zayn’s also a pretty emotional guy, and seems to love hard, and P*rrie is known for being pretty immature. there’s a couple of (GOSSIP) articles out there that a lot of her exs have run for the hills after dating her. there’s even one out there that said one of her past exs said that he “should have listened to zayn about her” (or something to that effect). 

now, about P*rrie’s immaturity lmao, in several of LM’s songs, there’s a lot of......really disgusting and alarming lyrics about him. i go back to the entirety of the humiliation of zayn press tour they did, and the songs they dropped (You Gotta Not, Shout Out To My Ex, and a few others) that just sorta oozed “hey im a toxic bitter ex!” to me (esp the fat-shaming line in YGN, riiiiight after zayn opened up about his disordered eating/self harm thing, and he would have been in the worst of it while they were engaged too. fishy huh? just sayin). 

oh also lol zayn’s family seems to rly have a big dislike for her, and they’re all sweethearts so *raises eyebrow*. P*rrie has also dramatically and drastically changed the story of their breakup multiple times, and the few times zayn has commented on it his story has stayed the same.

of course, all of this is just using lyrics, but i know there’s a lot more information and (albeit loose) proof out there. i’m just saying, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. and i’m aware that its a bit of a serious accusation, but like..........idk. we know for a fact that it was a toxic relationship, and hey maybe zayn was a shitty boyfriend, who knows! but it certainly seems like P*rrie was the one at fault here, even if she was obviously upset about the breakup as well (for example, crying during a show, and writing an entire album about him just to be a petty bitch).

yeah this is just my opinion on the matter, but i used to be an LM stan back in the day, and her behavior towards him after the breakup made me drop them as a band all together. 

(if anyone has those sources i’d love it if u added them, i dont wanna seem like i’m just pulling info out of my ass here lol)

[moonprincess92]

Continually Unexpected (1/3)

12 moments over the course of Jyn and Cassian's relationship... from the perspective of their long-suffering roommate, Kay Tu. 

Read on AO3 

PART 1: BEGINNING 

1.

Kay Tu knew Cassian Andor long before Jyn Erso ever did, thank you very much.

One shared class together at university resulted in them sitting next to each other, see, and it was a well-known fact that Cassian’s knowledge in Statistical Theory was mediocre at best. Naturally, Kay offered his talents and he accepted. For some odd reason people seemed to think that Kay was ‘weird’ and ‘stilted’ (whatever that meant) so Kay had been content to call Cassian Andor – fresh-faced and on exchange from Mexico – his only friend.

(He heard the whispers like, “Naturally the only guy he can make friends with is the one that barely speaks English,” but Kay paid them no mind. He knew better).

They stuck together, him and Cassian. They avoided the parties and shared tables at the library. They got their first off-campus flat together, and even eventually graduated together. They went through the typical bout of post-uni unemployment (in which Kay spent hours scrolling through listings that never seemed to end and all screamed 5+ years of experience needed, while Cassian went through a quarter-life crisis, watching outdated telenovelas on the sofa in his underwear) until eventually, they found jobs. They’d been through crazy ex-flatmates that ate soap and stole food together, heartbreaks and aches, they even went skiing in Austria together!

They were it for each other. They didn’t need anyone else, least of all Jyn Erso.

But he was there the night they met. Parties were often too loud and involved far too much talking for Kay’s liking, but one of Cassian’s work colleagues was getting married and apparently, it was in good taste to show up. Not wanting to go alone, Kay had been dragged along to the pub that had been hired out for the event, the place full of cops in uncomfortably formal clothes who clearly weren’t sure how to have a good time without liberal amounts of alcohol.

Kes Dameron had briefly introduced them to Jyn half an hour ago as his and Shara’s new next door neighbour who had just moved to the city. More had been said, but Kay hadn’t exactly been interested in meaningless backstory, so had tuned out.

Cassian, however, had hung onto every word and now apparently had an utter fascination with the back of the woman’s head.

“I believe people don’t like it when you stare at them, Cassian,” Kay rolled his eyes.

Cassian snapped his gaze back to the drink in his hand. “Shut up.”

“No, actually, I’m fairly certain it’s a socially unacceptable behaviour–”

“I wasn’t staring.”

Kay blinked. “Your blatant denial is confusing.”

Cassian groaned, pressing his fingers hard down over his eyes. “FINE. She’s hot, Kay.”

“OHHH,” Kay risked societal shunning to get an actual good look at the woman, seeing as he had an actual reason to this time. Across the room, Jyn Erso hovered somewhat awkwardly on the edges of a conversation, there but not quite there at the same time (Kay understood that, at least. Apparently it was considered ‘weird’ to just stand alone at these kinds of social events so he often integrated himself into other people’s conversations just to fit in). She wore a lot of black, her dark hair thrown up in a bun and going a little too heavy on the eyeliner (not to mention the wine), but objectively Kay could observe that she was physically attractive. He wasn’t surprised that Cassian had gotten drawn to her.

“I see,” he said. “Why don’t you talk to her?”

“I don’t even know her! What could I say?” Cassian waved a hand, apparently trying to ignore the way his face was flushing a little.

“How about ‘hi, my name is Cassian, we were introduced earlier this evening’?”

“And after that?”

Kay considered.

“I suppose you don’t want me to suggest ‘I think you’re hot’ right?”

Cassian snorted, lifting his glass and draining the rest of his own wine in one go. “I appreciate the help, man.”

“I will never understand why you bother, Cassian.”

Kay, quite honestly, was perfectly content without romance in his life. Hell, he barely understood other humans on a basic small talk level (in an ideal world, he would talk to everyone in binary coding/emoji). Cassian, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy trying to form interpersonal connections with other people. His attempts at forming said connections often fell flat, but it wasn’t for the lack of trying. Sometimes, he came home with dates and Kay was forced to share his pancakes with them the next morning. Sometimes, he saw someone more than twice, and even more often these relationships would end disastrously somehow but the man just kept on trying! Kay often suspected it was Cassian’s difficulty in letting himself actually feel something that caused all these untimely demises, but he figured it was best to let him figure that out on his own.

“You never know if you don’t try, right?” Cassian said. He clapped a hand onto Kay’s shoulder. “See you in five minutes after I strike out.”

But incredibly… Cassian didn’t strike out.

2.

The first time Kay actually properly met Jyn, she was half-naked and eating his cereal.

“Those are MY cornflakes,” he said, outraged.

She span around at his voice, the bowl sloshing milk over the side which quite honestly, was even more offensive than the food stealing. Who over-pours a perfectly good bowl of cereal? He glared at her for literally any kind of response as she stood there in her bare feet, messy hair and oversized Oxford jumper that Kay knew for a fact belonged to Cassian. She hastily finished her mouthful before gesturing at him with her spoon.

“You’re Kay, right? The flatmate?”

“I’m Kay, and you’re eating my cornflakes!”

“Hey, Cassian said I could help myself to whatever,” she shrugged.

“Cassian’s spaces in the pantry are the bottom two shelves and those cornflakes were CLEARLY on the top shelf,” Kay folded his arms in a huff. “How did you even reach it?”

“I’m sorry, was that a dig at my height?”

Kay just glared pointedly.

Jyn rolled her eyes. “I climbed.”

Honestly, Kay should have just expected this behaviour. She and Cassian had been dating for around five weeks now, which had been plenty of time for Cassian to tell him all about her (every damn detail about her). But of course, his flatmate was an entirely unreliable narrator with his stories riddled with inconsistencies, so Kay had become an expert in taking off the rose-coloured glasses for him. Jyn Erso, from what he’d been told, was a waitress and not a very good one. She was rude, prickly and completely unreliable. Her only friends were the soon-to-be-Damerons and the old Asian couple who lived in the flat across from her (one of whom was apparently blind, so maybe he simply couldn’t see her coming in time to hide?). She was guarded and clearly had a past that she didn’t like to talk about, but Cassian was already head over heels for the girl, much to Kay’s concern.

“So how come I’m only just meeting you, then?” Jyn asked.

“Sorry?”

“You’re Cassian’s best friend,” Jyn shrugged. “It’s been over a month.”

“I’ve been pretty busy at work,” Kay said, shortly.

“Oh riiiiight, you’re the one who’s the software engineer?” she shovelled another mouthful of cereal into her mouth. Jesus Christ, she ate like a wild animal! “Smart that, I barely know how to turn a computer on.”

Kay couldn’t handle this. He stalked forward and snatched up the offending box of cornflakes from where they were sitting ever so innocently on the kitchen bench. “I would appreciate it if next time, you ask before eating something that isn’t yours,” he snapped, moving and placing it back in its place in the pantry. “I don’t know if Cassian’s told you yet, but we do have a rule that if a girlfriend stays for more than five days in a row, they contribute to the flat expenses and that includes food–”

“Whoa, hey,” Jyn suddenly held up a hand, flushing red. “Easy, mate, we haven’t even had that conversation yet–”

“Which conversation?”

“Which–? Blimey, he mentioned that you were a bit of a square,” Jyn muttered. “Look, we’re just dating, don’t go throwing around the word girlfriend–”

“Hey.”

The two of them both snapped their heads around at the sound of Cassian padding into the kitchen. He looked a little worse for wear with his hair in disarray and missing a shirt, but Kay had seen him in nearly every state of dress one could think of, he wasn’t going to judge. Jyn, however, dropped her bowl onto the kitchen bench with a slight clang.

“Cassian, I have met Jyn Erso and it’s of my opinion that you shouldn’t date someone who steals food,” he said, firmly.

But incredibly, Cassian ignored him. Well!

“Sorry about him,” he said to Jyn.

“’s all right.”

A bit of a pause, in which Kay rolled his eyes and went to go pour some of HIS cereal.

“Would you freak out if I said I kind of want you to be my girlfriend?”

Jyn slowly slid closer to him across the kitchen floor. “Maaaaaaybe,” she warbled. “Are you asking?”

“Can I really ask in a way that doesn’t make me sound like I’m in high school?”

“Mmmm, probably not,” Jyn admitted, reaching out and snaking her arms around his waist. She glanced up at him innocently and added, “Actually, I’m not too great with these kinds of conversations either. Maybe you just kiss me and we skip the talking part.”

“Ok, girlfriend.”

“Honestly,” Kay huffed as the two started kissing. “At least wait until I’m out of the room!”

3.

See, they are affectionate with each other.

Like… really affectionate.

Quite frankly, Kay wasn’t used to seeing the level of intimacy that Cassian kept expressing with Jyn. He was usually so closed off, of course assuming that he even let someone stay for longer than a night. It was odd seeing Cassian indulging in that level of physical comfort, but apparently he was enjoying it. Too often Kay would come home from work to find them splayed out on the sofa together Jyn lying against his chest, or see them kiss each other goodbye. He caught them chasing each other around the kitchen, Jyn even leaping right over the kitchen table only to eventually get caught in the middle of the room, Cassian snatching her up from behind and spinning her around. Whenever they had time to go out for the occasional drink with Kes and Shara, they would absently play with each other’s fingers as they talked, or his arm would be draped around her.

Sometimes, he’d even overheard them having loud arguments over which Hogwarts house they would be in while in the shower.

Kay wasn’t quite sure what to do with this new, affectionate Cassian and honestly, the worst moments were the nights she stayed over.

Thankfully, it wasn’t as often as he’d initially feared. Kay had been preparing himself (with the face of someone being sentenced to the gallows) for Jyn to basically move in with them, but it was their jobs that often kept them apart. As a waitress, Jyn usually worked evenings and Cassian’s hours were erratic at best thanks to his work. The decision to become a police officer had never even been Cassian’s intention, the idea only having first come to him when he’d graduated university with a degree that he hated and not much family left to go back home to in Mexico. However, while initially it was a good thing that she wasn’t over as often as he’d thought, it meant that they apparently tried to make up for it whenever they were together.

Like… they REALLY tried to make up for it.

Honestly, whoever designed this flat with the bedrooms sharing a wall should have reconsidered. Kay grumbled as yet another dull thunk echoed through and he adjusted his headphones. All he wanted to do was watch his war documentary in peace! But Jyn had turned up unexpectedly and Kay had stuck his head out his bedroom door to bite out an obligatory hello, only to see them smashed up against the hallway wall. One of her legs had been hitched up around his waist, his tongue had been quite clearly down her throat and it was FAR MORE than he’d ever wished to see! He’d quickly hidden himself back in his room, only he was now being forced to bump up the volume on his laptop what felt like every five seconds.

“I’m sure Cassian is very competent at sexual intercourse, you don’t need to reassure him that you’re having a good time so much,” Kay grumbled under his breath, before finally yanking his headphones off. “HEY!” he yelled, slamming a fist into the wall. “SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO RELAX!”

Silence from their end. Then an undignified snort of laughter, and another quite deliberant bang of the headboard against the wall.

“Couldn’t agree more,” Jyn clearly called back.

The nerve of that girl.

“I mean it! I will unplug my headphones!”

“Mmmm… do it,” Jyn’s voice was a little muffled as it drifted through the wood but it was impossible to not catch the hitch in her voice. “Nothing could stop us at this point.”

“CASSIAN, I AM HIGHLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.”

No answer, except for more banging, more audible groans. Eventually, Jyn laughed.

“Cassian can’t come to the phone right now.”

“AND WHY NOT?”

“It’s kinda hard for him to talk when I’m sitting on his face.”

Kay slammed his laptop shut.

“THAT’S IT,” he declared. “I HATE YOU BOTH.”

---

He stayed at the gym probably an entire extra hour longer than he usually would. You know, just to make absolutely sure that they would have finished their ‘activities’ by the time he got home. Sure enough, when he gingerly stepped back in through the front door, it was to find the flat dark and quiet. He would have normally waited to take his shower in the morning out of curtesy, but a part of him still kind of wanted revenge and he made to turn on the water anyway. Maybe it was a little petty of him, but passive-aggressiveness seemed to be engrained into both his and Jyn’s make-up, so it was at least one thing they had in common.

He did not expect to open the bathroom door and find her crying silently as she stared at her phone.

“Oh,” he said, uncomfortably.

“Kay,” she straightened hastily from where she leaned against the sink. She swiped at her eyes and for some reason he thought not to turn on the lights. They stayed in the dark as he didn’t say anything, she didn’t say anything, and eventually he figured he probably SHOULD say something, lest his mother ever find out that he walked into a room with a crying woman in it and didn’t make sure she was ok.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

“’s nothing…” She shook her head. “Were you seriously at the gym this late?”

“It’s a 24 hour one. But I don’t understand, you were happy when I left earlier this evening.”

“You don’t get to choose when people message you,” Jyn said.

Ah. So she had gotten an upsetting text or call or something. While that explained the situation, it didn’t help in the slightest since he still didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He supposed any other person would attempt to comfort her, but they honestly didn’t really know each other and quite frankly, this woman perplexed him. He ended up going for something in the middle, in which he loped forward and patted her roughly on the shoulder.

“There, there.”

She stared.

“Please stop.”

“Oh, thank you,” he sighed with relief, stepping back. On the down side, that did mean there was just more silence, and with Jyn it was uncomfortable and still loud somehow. She watched her bare feet, twisting them against the tiles and it looked like she was waiting for something impossible. Kay didn’t know what. Cassian would say something poetic, like she was waiting for the stars to align or something. He didn’t know what her story was or what her issues were, how long she had been waiting for whatever it was she wanted and really at the end of the day, he didn’t want to know… but he supposed a part of him was glad to see a tiny part of the real her. 

“For what it’s worth,” he ended up saying. “I’m glad that you guys seem happy.”

She glanced up at him and gave him a genuine, if slightly strained nod of acknowledgement.

“Thanks.”

He didn’t say anything else and she didn’t seem to mind.

4.

About eight months into Cassian and Jyn’s relationship, they attended the wedding of Kes Dameron and Shara Bey.

Kay didn’t exactly get the fuss about weddings, but he could at least appreciate them. He saw the delight on their friends’ faces whenever they spoke about it and that was important to him, so he wore the uncomfortable suit and sat politely throughout the ceremony, always smiling whenever it was appropriate. He even grinned and bared the awkward conversations with Dameron family members! Jyn was a bridesmaid (something she apparently still hadn’t forgiven Shara for, but the woman had insisted and Jyn just hadn’t been able to say no) but on the upside, as she had mentioned earlier with an exasperated sigh, at least her dress was stunning. Stunning enough that Jyn became the talk of the wedding and even Kay had sniffed at her and said that she looked decent enough.

Not that she had to worry about fending off suitors. She and Cassian had spent a majority of the reception making out over by the bathrooms, making it 100% clear that she wasn’t interested in literally anything else. Kay only managed to catch Cassian a handful of times, most notably when Jyn was being forced to go dance with Shara and Cassian was sitting at their table, knocking back champagne.

“Oh, good!” Kay exclaimed enthusiastically, sitting down next to his friend. “A moment that you aren’t attached to Jyn! I can ask you how it’s going.”

Cassian just snorted. “You want to ask me how it’s going?”

“Ok, what I really wanted to tell you is that Kes and Shara clearly paid far too much for this buffet,” He held up a canapé. “You can tell that this isn’t even proper–”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Cassian held up a hand.

They were quiet for several moments as the music blared and they both watched the crowd of people dancing. Shara held Jyn’s hands, despite the other woman’s exasperation and swung her around the dance floor. Jyn Erso had her faults, sure, but indulging in her friends wasn’t one of them, Kay could admit that at least. He was surprised when he looked over and noticed the look on Cassian’s face. It was pure adoration. Bliss. It was like he was imagining the night that Kay had walked into the kitchen one morning to find the two of them dancing to some ridiculous dance pop song on the radio. They had laughed and grinded and Kay had backed away slowly, figuring that he would just eat breakfast later. Kay hesitated for a second, before he finally decided that months of this madness was certainly far enough.

He needed answers.

“Are you in love with Jyn?”

Cassian promptly choked on his champagne.

Kay hastily thumped him on the back. Cassian coughed and spluttered for a moment until eventually, he was able to breathe normally. “Jesus Christ, Kay,” he gasped. “Give a guy some warning.”

“You were surprised by my asking?”

But Cassian was shaking his head now, which of course just made it even more confusing!

“Cassian, I don’t understand. You seem incredibly satisfied with your relationship with Jyn Erso, to the point where it has lasted more than half a year. That is the longest you have ever been with anyone, at least since I have known you, yet you choke when I ask you whether you’re in love with her?”

“It’s a–” Cassian sighed. “Kay, it’s a hard question to answer.”

“How? Either you love her or you don’t.”

“It’s not that simple,” Cassian slumped back into his chair, placing his glass gingerly back onto the elaborately decorated table. “Kay, she’s incredible. I can honestly say I’ve never felt like this for anyone, which sounds ridiculously cheesy even though it’s true… but there’s still a lot we don’t know about each other,” He looked at him helplessly. “There’s some things in her past… some things I know she isn’t telling me about. I have my secrets too, but I’d share them with her if she asked. Her… she keeps things buried.”

Kay considered this for a moment.

“Have you asked her?”

“Asked her?”

“Well, it’s the most obvious solution to everything you are worrying about,” Kay just shrugged. “You say she won’t tell you these things about her, but have you actually asked?”

The night in the bathroom came vividly to mind. Jyn Erso might be a naturally closed off person, but she could open up to people who mattered. Cassian stared at him for so long, Kay almost thought he had broken his best friend somehow. Then suddenly, Cassian said in a slightly bemused voice,

“Excuse me, please… turns out I have to… uh… go somewhere.”

“By all means,” Kay waved a hand with a flourish.

By all accounts, he really shouldn’t have been encouraging it. Jyn Erso was a menace to society, they all knew that! But he’d never seen Cassian smile so much since he met her and for some inane reason… Kay encouraged him to launch himself across the dance floor, sweeping her up out of Shara’s grip and into his own.

[avelera]

Voltron Season 3 episode 7

;_____;

OK WHAT THE HELL WE’RE GETTING A FLASHBACK???

I was half paying attention and then EMOTIONAL THINGS WERE FLASHING BY I NEED TO REWATCH

IS THAT BABY HAGGAR??

I’M WEEPING IS ZARKON ABOUT TO GET HUMANIZED I NEED IT

ALFOR WAS YELLOW OMGOMGOMGOMGG

OH MY GOD ALFOR IS HOT

OMG ZARKON IS AWESOME

AAAAH EVERYONE IS BABIES

Blue Paladin is flirty as ever I love it

OK Zarkon being classist...

Whoa multi-realities... what if wrong!Shiro is actually from a different reality?

Oh no that’s baby Haggar, isn’t it?

And I think my theory is right that the Cat is Lotor’s team member, not the Lizard lady?

Oh no Zarkon is crushing on bb Unerva(sp?) (Haggar?)

OH NO THAT HELMET IS SO CUTE

OH MAN THAT IS HAGGAR ISN’T IT

She and Zarkon actually did have a love match?

There goes my theory that Haggar was lower class and part of an uprising.

So this is what destroyed the Galra world?

So Blue Paladin is the same race as that bounty hunter guy in season 1?

Oh wait, Alfor was Red

So were these thousands of battles against creatures from another reality?

If someone says “I’m a leg” I’m gonna scream.

IS THAT WHERE ROBEASTS COME FROM???

No one was slightly freaked out that the lions have a mind of their own???

“AM I A LEG??” OMFG I LOVE IT AND HATE IT LOLOLOL

Aaaw, now I want both generations of Paladins to meet each other... ;__;

Well except for Zarkon.

SO MANY GOOD EPISODES THIS SEASON WOW

But seriously, no one thought that Voltron having a mind of its own was weird?

So, the Galra planet wasn’t destroyed by Alteans as such, but by Zarkon’s hubris...?

So Quintessence is basically pet cemetery...?

What the HELL is going on with Haggar, IS that Haggar? It must be?

This is how the Galra planet was destroyed, wasn’t it?

Oh something is about to go VERY wrong

“Make the Rift bigger to make it smaller later, guys!”

Riiiiight....

This is some serious Age of Legends/Wheel of Time Bad Ideas right here.

Zarkon and Haggar nooooo

They love each other but this is baaaaad

OH NOOOOOOO

OH NO

WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS EPIC

Ok so what happened to the other 3 paladins besides Alfor and Zarkon?

The Galra homeworld was destroyed by Alfor after all

OH NOOOO

OH NO THIS IS BAD

ZOMBIES

OH NO

Ok so I need to process this backstory, does anyone have a proper timeline?

Oh man Haggar/Zarkon ship is... fucking epic and I need more. 

Going back to the opening flashes I think we have:

- The Galra Empire ships destroying a city, maybe Altea?

- (OH FUCK) The Galra Empire catching the Blue and Green Paladins, or at least surrounding them (*CRYING*)

- The destroyed Galra homeworld

- The Galra homeworld before it was destroyed

- The original Paladins as a team

- Zarkon and Haggar’s wedding (I CRY) the Paladins, Alfor, and his wife are there. ZARKON AND HAGGAR ARE SO CUTE??

- The Paladins seeing the comet for the first time before everything went to shit.

- Haggar being super cute and Zarkon being in love with her wtf I’m crying??

OK WOW I NEED TO CHEW ON ALL OF THIS FOR A BIT

[a-byte-of-insanity-blog]

New Years with the Dork Squad (What happened before the diary entry) - Adalyn’s POV

I kick Zach’s door open holding 2 bottles of sparkling cider and a duffel bag slung around my shoulder that was filled to the brim with food, movies, videogames, and plushies for me to throw at him, as well as hug to be reminded of my indescribable loneliness.

“HEY BUDDY, READY FOR A SUPER COOL TOTALLY NOT SURPRISE-FILLED NEW YEARS ‘PARTY’?!?” I screamed as I heard something (or someone) hit the ground with a thud. I always called our get togethers “parties”, but the only thing about it that was like a party was the fact there was food.

“OOOONE SECOND-” I heard another thud, then the mechanical clack of the door unlocking, and I saw the dorky face of my best friend with uncombed hair and a big ol’ cheesy grin. He was just wearing a hoodie and some pajama pants, because no one needs to dress up on new years. No one, I tell you. I run in and give him a huge bear hug, then scramble into his room.

Laying in front of me was an array of random blankets we piled together the past few days, a stack of movies a mile high, pillows, and a mini fridge I had given him a few days prior to prepare for this momentous occasion. Because New Years isn’t New Years without good drinks.

“oOOKAY, looks like it’s all set. Whatcha wanna watch, Foxstone?” I turn around and clear my throat, snapping my fingers to cue some shitty announcer music you’d hear as they introduce Jeopardy prizes. I flick my hand and produce a microphone, and do the cheesiest announcer voice I can muster. “We have a very fine variety of choices, but might I suggest one fine piece of television history that doesn’t match any other…” I snap my fingers at the tv and it blinks on, beginning to play “Scooby Doo on Zombie Island”, and his face lights up.

“PERFECT.” He sat down and I quickly took the spot beside him, putting the duffel bag down in front of us.

Then.. I saw Arty. Wearing a black cocktail dress with a champagne glass in one hand, she sat on the other side of zach and poked her head over just smiling like the smug motherfucker she is.

“....why must you be this way…” I muttered under my breath, and Zach turned to look at me with a piece of popcorn hovering inches away from his mouth.

“Did’ja say something, Ada?”

“N-no, just.. Mumbling to myself….” I could feel my face turn red, and i saw my hands were starting to melt. “Oooooh stars..” i muttered under my breath as I quickly covered my face with my overly fluffy winter coat. It got a chuckle from Zach, and I tried locking my eyes onto the tv.

Of course, because Arty’s an asshole, she snapped her fingers and her attire changed into a weird, crab-like dress. Her hair became short and bright red, and she flicked her hand making a mic.

“Shalalalalala don’t be shy~” she started singing in her siren-like voice (She’s an asshole, but damn, she has a voice.), and I started melting quicker.

“Hey Ada, it’s kinda cold, can you work your.. Weird magic?” He smiled and gestured. “Ya know.. The weird ‘I’m a walking heater’ thing.”

“O-oh, uh.. S-sure! You mind if I lay on ya?” I smiled sheepishly, and he laughed.

“Sure, just don’t try burning me!”

I stretched, snapped my fingers and I started glowing dimly. I laid beside him and yawned a bit.

“B-better?” my voice cracked, and I wished I was never born. He smiled, and gave a thumbs up.

“Yeah, thanks, Ada. Is it ok for you to be using your powers like this?”

“Yeah, it’s ok. A-around you it’s not as hard to.. plus, this doesn’t take much energy, so that might be a reason..!”

“Oh honey…” Arty said in her velvet-y stupid voice as she floated over Zach. “..hm. He’s a dorky kind of cute, ain’t he?”

“Stop being Izzy, and start being quiet.” I hissed under my breath, and Zach looked back at me again.

“Still mumbling to yourself? I’m starting to think it might be something else… You have any special super secret plans? Schemes? ‘Cause I got a few theories.”

“N-n-no! I-I’m just.. J-just…” I covered my mouth. Damn you, Arty, for fucking with my voice… “..h-heh.” my voice cracked, and I got a bit hotter and started melting a lot quicker. I started munching on chocolate and it melted as soon as it touched my tongue.

After that and Monty Python’s Holy Grail, I flicked my fingers and Aladdin came on. I giggled and rubbed my hands together, then cleared my throat changing my voice to Genie’s, and my appearance to resemble a female version of him.

“Would’ja look at that, a disney princess movie. Jeez, this woman is nutty, ain’t she?” I remarked, and Zach laughed.

“Man, I forgot you could change your voice, too…!”

After me singing along to all the songs, we got to “A whole new world”, and the clock was gonna hit 12 soon. Arty smiled a cheshire-like smile, and I gulped.

“H-heh.. 1 m-minute to New Years!” I grabbed the bottles of sparkling cider and opened a bottle, blinked in some glasses and gave one of the glasses to Zach. I awkwardly smiled, and he chuckled.

“You look like you’ve done something wrong Ada. Your face is glowing, what’s up?” Zach mumbled, and I just awkwardly laughed.

“O-oh.. n-nothing…” I absent-mindedly shifted into myself again wearing one of Zach’s old old hoodies from when we were in middle school; it said “I believe.” with a picture of a UFO on it. I put my legs into the hoodie, and stretched again. “...oh shi-”

“..woah, I haven’t seen that in forever! I forgot I gave it to ya…. Heh, it still has the patch on it you gave me, too..!” he pointed to the back where a area 51 patch with an alien’s face was put on the back.

“3...2..1…. HAPPY NEW YEAR!” I screeched as the movie was still playing.

“Happy new years, let’s hope this one doesn’t screw us over.” he raised his glass, and I giggled, clinking mine with his.

“C-cheers, to a new year!”

“You’re forgetting a new years tradition, Ada~” Arty pestered me, and my face went bright red.

“N-n-no…” I muttered, and looked at Zach. He chuckled, and have me a big hug.

“Can’t wait to make new memories with ya, Ada..!” I held him tight, and Arty was behind Zach with the smuggest shit-eating grin I’d ever seen.

“...do it. You know you want to.” She toyed with his hair, “come onnnnnnnn… do it for me?~”

“I will cut you.” I hissed between my teeth, and Zach started laughing.

“What a nice thing to say in return, Adalyn!” He snickered, and I gulped.

“I-I’m so sorry, my mind’s out of whack right now..” I scooted back and stared at his eyes for a solid 10 seconds. “...d-do you know your eyes are very blue-green? It’s very pretty-”

“O...kay..? What’s up with you, ada-”

I gulped and awkwardly hugged him again.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.” Arty yelled, and I almost dropped my glass.

“Ok, I should go, thanks for having me over,” I snapped my fingers and everything I brought vanished, “Have a good new year and I’ll see you tomorrow probably-” I kissed him on the cheek, did finger guns, shifted my arms into harpy wings and flew the fuck out of there.

“..close enough. Also nice grand exit, that’ll really not be a big topic of discussion tomorrow.”

“Shut up, let me focus, I do that all the time to my friends.”

“...do you though?”

“....s-shut your face.” I flew back to my father’s house through a window into my room, slammed the window shut, flopped onto the bed and reevaluated my life.

“...Artemis...?” I looked at her with a look of confusion on my face, “..I won’t say I’m in love~” I started singing and shifted into Megra from Hercules, and she scrunched her nose up, grinning.

“Riiiiight. Keep that in mind when you see him next. Alright, I’m gonna hit the hay, see ya in your dreams!” She floated in thin air on her back and fell asleep. I shifted back to normal, and smiled, hugging a pillow and burying my face in it. I looked down, saw I still had his hoodie on, and just shrugged. It’s warm, plus I’m too lazy to change.... I laid down, holding the pillow still, and drifted off to sleep.

..this was gonna be a good year.

I could feel it.