#my tav made a lot of bad decisions lately

[polvsketchbook]

sorry for being a little inactive (again), I'm having a little hard time lately and can't bring myself to draw more. tbh I just hope it will pass soon; in the meantime I'm keeping myself save with playing BG3. here are two sketches of my tav and gale I did & wanted to share

[crazylittlejester]

bro. i am in the same boat as you.

asfhdjkss seeing you stress and become disappointed about whumptober is making ME FEEL THE SAME......

feeling upset about your writing and all the prompts not being correctly put down into words can be very hard and complicated!! i get it!!!

it's totally normal to feel that way and i assure you, it's okay!

just know that, even if it is your own decision, you don't have to feel obligated to do all 32 days. that's a bunch of work for someone and a whole lot of planning and writing and that can effect someone's energy and mental health. i appreciate your effort in trying to do it though! but please, don't get worried about producing so many mediocre fics, at the end of the day you're still writing things and im proud!!!

i saw your post about this and immediately felt bad so i hope this can help you feel even a little better... even so, i will be looking forward to anything you end up writing! you are such a fantastic author, never forget that. <3

thanks man 🫶 /gen

i have really been struggling a lot lately with this, and it’s been very hard to not get angry with myself over it because I feel like I haven’t been able to write in months and I’ve been struggling with hating most of what I write these days and I get so incredibly anxious to post anything because I feel like my ability to write and the quality of my fics has deteriorated sooo much. I’ve had my ao3 acc since 2018 and every year I’ve kinda made a tradition almost of orphaning everything I write and starting fresh at the start of the new year because I dislike the vast majority of what I write but I realized a few months ago that I don’t think I can do that this year- this is certainly the most attention my fics have ever gotten and I think at least one person would come yell at me in my asks if i disappeared off the face of the earth never to write for LU again allddkkd

its just very hard not to feel upset about being burnt out for so many months, and it’s hard to see how engagement has been down and have to remind myself it’s not because i suck, it’s literally just because i’ve been making less content. of course engagement would be down, the main reason most people interact with me is BECAUSE I write or do analysis posts or make content, so if im not putting out as much as i used to then that tracks and makes sense, but it’s hard to stop the intrusive thoughts sometimes. It is certainly a fight to not feel useless when I can’t do the one thing I’m supposed to be doing with this blog

anyways… it makes me really happy that there are at least a few people who will read whatever i throw up onto ao3, and all of you who regularly read the things i write and send me asks n such genuinely make me so happy. all of you are awesome

and thank you for this, it was really kind and sweet of you. i hope you have a good day, remember to take care of yourself and get some water n food 🫶

*wet cough* anyway *sniffle* y’all wanna see my tav…? /j *kicks a rock*

[haliteatiger]

This my "Tav", Silence. I'm still sorta working out her background details, but for now it's safe to say she's had it pretty rough.

Check below the cut for a lot of rambling and pointless, self-indulgent headcanons.

Her name comes from the fact that she didn't speak for the first few years of her life, instead learning to play the violin and communicating through her art. Someone started calling her "Little Silence" and it just sort of stuck. She didn't know her parents, but was adopted by a noble who saw her as a unique "pet" given her unusual appearance - even for a tiefling - and her musical and artistic talents.

Unfortunately, the guy was bad with money, and ended up gambling away a good portion of whatever Silence earned, in the end becoming desperate enough to try and auction off her virginity when she came of age. Silence, obviously, was not going to stand for this, and managed to escape - possibly killing the man who bought her in the process, she wasn't sure and frankly doesn't care.

With only her violin and a precious few belongings in tow, Silence made her way to Baldur's Gate and was eventually found by a gang of performers and thieves (that I have yet to come up with a name for) where she learned ways on how to survive on the streets and defend herself with her art. Now in her late 20s, and poised to set out on her own due to some complications within her social circle, she was taken aboard the Nautiloid.

There are two sides to Silence - one is kind of quiet, observant, and sensitive. She has a way of simply blending into the background if she doesn't want to be observed (she's good at Stealthing, I guess), and the other is her more or less "bard persona", which is outgoing and charismatic. Contrary to her name, Silence can be quite talkative when the mood strikes her. It's usually when she becomes angry, flustered, or anxious where she seems to forget words entirely and has a hard time articulating herself, which has led into some dramatic situations when she lashes out more physically.

Overall, she's easygoing, and tries very hard not to let her emotions get in the way of her making decisions, and so often comes off as more pragmatic than anything. She's also pretty accepting of those around her even if she is, in actuality, slow to trust. I guess you could say she's highly manipulative as a defence mechanism. So it's not that she lies to people, per se, but she can come off as liking someone more than she does if only to deflect harm from herself. She is not a people-pleaser, however, and has very defined boundaries in terms of how far she's willing to concede to someone, especially a stranger. She's excellent at reading people (most of the time), acts more confident than she seems, knows a little about a lot of topics, and is always eager to learn more. She can be impulsive and rude without meaning to, and has something of a sarcastic and dry sense of humor that always seems almost prepared in advance whenever she snaps back at someone. Her charisma and wit often seem to leave others with the mistaken impression that she knows what she's doing in any given situation, and thus has often been beset with expectations she's sure she's more often than not fallen short of. Somehow, people just seem to think she's the most competent one in the room because she talks a good talk. Due to her dual upbringing, she is capable of blending in with high society as well as she does low. Silence will generally act within her own best interests or those of her friends, but it doesn't really take much to persuade her to do the right thing.

A good example would be when she and the gang arrive at the druid hold and is asked to help the tieflings. Initially she denies getting involved until mocked by Astarion for "turning her back on the needy", at which point, just to annoy him, agrees to help. (Although, when pressed she admits she mostly did it because she realized they needed some things in the area anyway and helping them could be beneficial to their cause). She can have kind of an impish sense of humor and while she doesn't like to see others get hurt, probably does take more pleasure in watching her enemies die writhing in agony than she'd care to admit.

Random fun fact: Silence is a feral tiefling, and her tail is supposed to be reminiscent of a heraldic unicorn's or lion's tail. She often carries it with a curl or S shape as she has a somewhat chronic fear of it being stepped on or pulled. She also has cat-like eyes (that I've had to mod in, but really wish Larian would include them naturally in the game because why not??? Same with more variations in tails...)

Other fun fact is that Silence has a Secret Power in which she's capable of using her tadpole to influence those around her when she plays a song infused with a particular strong emotion. Unfortunately, she cannot replicate the song later, at least not in the same way or with the same impact as when she played it. This generally acts like an empathic attack on those who can see and hear her, impressing upon them the emotion she's attempting to convey through song which can manifest in the audience's minds as how she imagines it - so a full orchestra if that's what she's hearing in her head. As one can imagine, the situations in which this is actually useful are few and far between, as it would require the proper conditions and emotional preparation for it to be effective, although I like to imagine she has used it a few times on a smaller scale to calm tensions in the group when camping some nights.

Relationships with the other NPCs:

Lae'zel - Admires her strength, but is suspicious of her motivations mostly because she seems more than capable of finding this creche by herself, but instead wants to drag the rest of them along with her. Either she's hiding an altruistic side to her or something else is going on. Silence tolerates Lae'zel's nasty attitude, but also can't help but find her and her people's culture fascinating. She often tries to overlook the Gith's biting tongue in order to inquire more about it. It's a mystery to Silence what Lae'zel truly thinks of her, but it's probably nothing good (even if she seems to get bonus points every time she shows an interest in her people.) About the only time she gets anything resembling a compliment from her is when she agrees with her about the use of their tadpole or if she does something worth being commended for in battle. Otherwise, Lae'zel doesn't seem to be terribly fond of Silence's violin playing as the high-pitched tones seem to bother her.

Gale - Gale and her get along famously, and, next to Wyll, finds him probably one of the easiest to talk to in the group. They both share a great interest in magic and, at times, a similar sense of humor (which is to say she's about as bad at puns as he is). They're both well-travelled and well-educated, and if she doesn't know or understand something magic-related, she's quick to ask Gale for guidance, and enjoys seeing him in his element. Gale seems fond of her wit, open-mindedness, and appreciation and interest she takes in the world around her and those that live in it. She seems to have a genuine interest and appreciation for everyone in the group and admires her dedication to watching their backs, even if it's obvious she doesn't entirely trust any of them. He likes that she seems to know a surprising amount about wizardry despite not being one herself - at least enough to ask advanced questions about things that he might consider to be outside the interest of most bards, as well as the fact that she isn't easily fazed by things that would turn most people's stomachs or make them balk in disbelief. As could be evidenced by her rather extensive anatomy studies on the bodies of their fallen enemies ("It's free art references!")

Admittedly, Silence was a bit shocked and uncomfortable to learn about Gale's history and his need to consume magic artifacts, but as he seems sincere in his efforts to keep it under control, chooses not to worry about it and does what she can to support him, which he greatly appreciates. There's still that little nagging voice in the back of her mind, however, even if he's friendly enough to get her to forget that at times. She has to remind herself on occasion that she doesn't really know him.

Shadowheart - Shadowheart and her also get along very well, even if they're both somewhat guarded around each other still, and Shadowheart, when not in the right mood, can be very difficult to talk to just in general. But, it's Silence who is first to lower her defenses, and speak to the Shar acolyte candidly. Silence finds the two of them have a lot in common in terms of how they approach most situations - pragmatic but always erring to self-preservation or that of the group's. Shadowheart seems to appreciate Silence's amicability, willingness to compromise, and respects that, even though she is friendly, she isn't naive about it. It also helps that Silence doesn't seem to have a problem with her being a worshipper of Shar and respects her desire for privacy even without being prompted. Silence appreciates how much of a team player Shadowheart really is, with her main interests usually centring around maintaining the group and essentially keeping everyone content enough not to turn on one another.

Astarion - Even though she enjoys picking on him from time to time, it's almost always in a way that he can also appreciate. She finds it more fun when the other person is in on the joke as well. This can and does include flirting, but thus far, she's made it pretty clear that she perceives it as simply something to laugh about (even if he might be absolutely serious about it). Unfortunately, at least initially, she also finds Astarion to be one of the hardest to read among the group, and picking on him isn't something she started doing until she knew where his boundaries lay. Up until then, she approached him delicately, allowing him to lead the conversations and learning what she could along the way, which, fortunately, he seems more than happy to do. As a result, he takes her quite a bit longer to translate than the rest, and doesn't feel entirely comfortable around him for a long time to come, really only engaging with him whenever he wishes to engage with her. As a result, the vampire tends to find Silence the most comfortable and trustworthy one of the group even if she seems careful enough not to let him get too close. He's likely the first to notice how little Silence voluntarily shares about herself, often distracting the others with reassurances, compliments, and asking questions she thinks they would enjoy answering.

Despite this he appreciates that she's easygoing and down-to-earth, while still having a good sense of humor and seems to know when to take something seriously, and, while at times seemingly easily impressed with the world around her (like he's one to talk), also seems to accept it for what it is and adapts accordingly.

In actuality, Astarion has about as much trouble reading her as she does him, as he's found it impossible to tell if she's genuine in her compliments and expressing interest in others around her. She certainly seems to have a gift for getting people to trust her. She's good at taking control of conversations and deflecting away from topics she doesn't want to talk about in the least offensive way possible, and he's made the mistake of reading her sincerity as naivety. She intrigues him as almost every time he thinks he has her figured out, she does or says something unexpected, or contrary to what he would assume about her, and he's not even sure if she's doing it on purpose. It's possibly a matter of them being out of step with one another, being of differing natures, even if he gets on better with her than he has anyone else in recent memory (insofar as we know about his story at least).

About the only things that get on his nerves at times is that she's maybe a little too soft, and a little too cautious and prone to overthinking than is good for her, mostly because it ends up involving dragging them into doing something boring or "unproductive" (not to their overall benefit). Never mind that she's encouraged him to wait in camp or go on without them if he has a problem with their decisions. It also bugs him that, even if she sees the merit in using the tadpoles, she's on board with the others that it isn't safe to do so until they know exactly what it is they're dealing with. Rather by accident, it would seem, Astarion finds himself liking her more than he realizes, especially after his condition comes to light and, lo and behold, she's not only okay with it, she wants to know everything about it and how they can use it to their benefit, even if she doesn't seem to be too terribly keen on being fed off of, as long as he can sate himself with bandits and ne'er-do-wells, she's off the hook insofar as she's concerned... for now, and has basically told him that she's his "emergency supply" if circumstances require it.

Despite all this, Silence is still vigilant, and while she trusts him with certain things, doesn't trust him completely, and knows full well the lengths to which his type is willing to go to cover their attempts at taking advantage of a situation.

[vvitchering]

Tagged in a "Get to Know Your Tav" questionnaire thing by @lewdisescariot and I secretly always want to talk about my sorc boy even though I've been playing several other Tavs lately so.........

Name: Laurent Aimar (the surname is new, he's been without one since I made him oops lol)

Human wild magic sorcerer

Background: Sage (this was picked before I developed any of his backstory so I ended up with a not terribly well educated person with a sage background. I justify it by the sage background being mostly about the LOVE of learning, not necessarily how you go about learning)

Favorite weapon: Enchanted glaives

Style of combat: He's a spellcaster with low strength so he SHOULD be hanging back from the action and being mostly ranged. However. He is medium armor proficient and wears a ring enchanted with Blur so he's usually right up in the action. This is helpful when his wild magic bursts award buffs to everyone he's near, and not so helpful when they cause explosions.

Most prized possession: a crystal he wears as a necklace under his shirt. It was given to him when he was young and just starting to have extreme problems with his magic as a way to try and focus himself. It didn't work, but the gesture was a kind one amidst a lot of not so kind ones, so it has a lot of sentimental value.

Deepest desire: Acceptance and safety. He's been ostracized since he was young due to how uncontrollable and destructive his magic is so he's caused a lot of people a lot of grief. He tends not to let others get close to him while also craving companionship. At the start of the adventure, he's made up his mind to find a way to get rid of his magic, but that's something he keeps to himself for a long time.

Guilty pleasure: Any sort of down time he considers a guilty pleasure. He's been on his own for a long time and constantly on the move so any sort of casual time where nothing needs to be done is precious. He likes trying new foods and drinks and once he feels safe around his new companions, napping.

Best-kept secret: I'm still working out the details, but he's the cause of some kind of disaster that hurt and killed a lot of people, his family included. It's the reason he travels alone and refuses to settle anywhere and the root of his decision to try and excise his own magic.

Greatest strength: His charisma. He's very good at charming people and talking them in circles to avoid letting anyone close to him. The more anonymous he is the safer everyone else is, in his mind, so he's gotten very good at word play. He projects an air of confidence but its not necessarily always genuine.

Fatal flaw: Guuuuuuuilt. Any time someone gets hurt he finds a way to feel responsible for it, even if it wasn't his fault.

Favorite smell: Petrichor, which is the smell of rain after a dry spell. He also likes the smell of snow.

Favorite spell or cantrip: Magic Missile (he may have a bad relationship with magic but even he is not totally immune to Make Things Go Boom)

Pet peeve: Snoring, being asked personal questions

Bad habit: Staying up too late, which makes him a chronic oversleeper.

Hidden talent: he knows all of the constellations and can point them all out and name most of the stars that make them up

Leisure activity: he enjoys going supply shopping/ingredient gathering with Gale because he gets to try new snacks. Halsin has talked him into trying meditation as a way to try and tame his wild magic (it doesn't work, but he does like the way it relaxes the rest of him)

Favorite drink: Black tea with nothing in it, brewed as strong as possible. If highly concentrated cold brew existed in faerun he'd be drinking that.

Comfort food: he loves a hearty beef and potato stew. He didn't have it often because he avoided sticking around largely populated areas as much as possible in his travels and he never had the time to sit around and cook it for himself. Gale cooks it often on the days when he stays at camp all day.

Favorite person: Gale, its Gale, it was Gale from the moment he pulled him out of the portal. He was instantly drawn to his sweet and trusting nature, which made him panic because he's already breaking his own rules traveling with a group, he can't let himself get close to them too. (failed)

Favorite display of affection: once he bows to the inevitable and lets himself fall in love, he has a thing for an arm around the waist, whether doing it or having it done to him.

Fondest childhood memory: he tries extremely hard not to remember his past in any great detail. Occasionally a taste or a smell will remind him of something that doesn't immediately make him want to shut down, but he doesn't allow himself to dwell anymore.

I am tagging @d0ctorsorders and @aetherial-sea if they want to share their Tavs! No pressure though~

[danyers]

thinking about how most of the companions (and I say most bc I can't say with certainty how the "bad" route for a lot of them go) have a definite moment in the game PRIOR to the end to have enough time to show you how it changes them, but Gale kind of doesn't.

for instance, you get to see shadowheart and astarion display their changes after making their pivotal decision - you see how ascending alters astarion's personality, you see how becoming a justiciar causes shadowheart to become more fanatical.

I do wish we had gotten the opportunity to see a little more into Gale's bad end since you don't really get to the culmination of his storyline until after the final fight, and then you're left with just a brief dialogue and he peaces out. I encouraged him to seek the crown on my first run and the climax of it was really disappointing to me, especially having romanced him as well, bc it didn't even give me the option to go with him at the end, despite the entire time him telling you "yes we will do this together, we will be gods together." idk it just felt so bad to have him come up to my Tav who, as far as she was concerned, was supporting him the whole way and just tell her "yeah I'm leaving to do this" and the only choices are "I'll be here when you get back" or "don't do this," it just felt so out of character, bc whether or not he vies for the crown, I don't believe his love for your Tav was not genuine, like he WANTS you there by his side - if a change came about AFTER he got the crown and the power that comes with it, it would have made more sense, but we didn't get to SEE that bc he had yet to even get his hands on it at the end of the game.

I guess I'm just saying it would have been nice to get a more thorough ending to his bad route storyline or an opportunity to see it changing him throughout act 3 maybe, since he's essentially made his decision by the time he sees Mystra but you don't sense any change in him until it's too late (ie. the crown right in front of him at/after the final encounter).