#my take on that is save it for your groupchat with your gay friends

[thebreakfastgenie]

None of this is all or nothing, of course. I want to clarify that before going on. For example -- your standalone post about rainbow marketing is a prime example. I would prefer to live in a world with rainbow marketing than a world where it is so objectionable to be queer that it cannot be spoken about publicly; and with modern capitalism being what it is, I don't object to the queer community being a part of that. And sometimes, being marketed to is fun. Sometimes I like to buy rainbows. However, remember when Disney used a queer TV show to advertise Disney Plus, and then relegated that TV show to Hulu because it wasn't "family friendly"? (I know this was a couple years ago, but it's the best example I could think of on the fly - given time to think I am sure I could come up with a more recent example.) That's the kind of thing that makes me at best roll my eyes out of my head and at worst kind of mad and I'm not even particularly invested in that particular TV show and personally probably would not have watched it.

As far as it goes, some of the same things apply to the discussions about slurs. I know you said you do not assume a stranger's identity unless there's very clear contextual details that you should - which is generally good advice, but also has nuance. Like, for example, if someone is making a post about their blorbo being a [slur] there's no way to tell if the OP is part of that community themselves, but if the post is more along the lines of '[slurs] like us' I think it's fair to assume that OP is part of the community, and there's middle ground between those two things.

This is an extremely, extremely niche example but I play a tabletop roleplaying game that was written in the late 90s/early 2000s and has some "edgy" content including a character known as "The [Slur]". I remember discussing this with a friend (both he and I a part of that community) and saying that even though I knew it was "problematic" I have a lot of affection for this character. (But would generally not say so publicly, because I know not everyone would agree). His response really clarified a few things for me about why I felt that way, which was "If I could get a group of people to call me The [Slur] I probably would. THE? You bet your ass I am!"

To address one of your other points; I have personally experienced both d*ke and f*ggot as homophobic slurs and do not see that big a gap between them. However, for full context, I also grew up in a place and time where the three letter short form for the f slur was a general part of common parlance as a slang term for a different thing, and though also occasionally used as a gay slur, there was another gay slur to refer to queer men that was more commonly in use.

It's World Pride at the moment and there are events with titles including words that are often used as slurs. Some of these (like Queer) because as you note, they also have a significant and storied history in academia; others in reclaiming contexts.

All of this together means it rubs me the wrong way a little bit when you say that you think d*ke is okay but f*ggot is not because you perceive one as more homophobic than the other because of your own personal experiences. That's completely fine in the sense that I am not asking you to personally be comfortable with a slur; however, it feels a little like assuming your experiences are more universal and correct than mine.

This post got very long and because I was touching on a lot of different points it feels a little disjointed when reading back over it so if you are unsure about something I have said I would ask that you please say so and not assume the worst. I am again trying to engage in a good faith discussion so if it feels like I have lost the plot a little bit in trying to get my thoughts across, it is purely because I have a lot to say and a limited character limit for expressing it.

I don't have the time to engage with everything right now, but I wasn't saying dyke is okay and f*ggot isn't because I have personally experienced them differently. I was, again, speaking about context. I don't think a black and white okay/not okay dichotomy is productive or functional. However, my default is "assume it is not okay to use slurs and particularly to call people slurs until proven otherwise."

I'm also not comfortable with "blorbo is a [slur]" in most cases but that is a personal comfort level thing. In my experience it's nearly always based on stereotypes and while I'm not saying jokes about that are never fun, I'm just usually not very comfortable with it, especially on the public internet.

[sleeping-lilies]

Title: I Get Tim a Cat Because It’s What He Deserves (oh and i guess a group chat 🙄)

a batfam/wayne family groupchat would literally never happen in canon but it would be so fucking funny you all don’t even know, so i will do it anyways.

the chat just kinda... starts. no one know where it came from. who added them. who??? none of their emotionally stunted asses would be caught dead making making a family chat tf? why can’t any of them leave? they smash their phones and then on their laptop a notification pops up like “you’ve joined ‘x’ group” and they’re stuck there. might as well use it ig, but for what???

“everyone who is alive type ‘i’” no one responds so bruce spends hours trying to find out where their bodies are until he finds out everyone just had the chat on mute

“why isn’t alfred on here” “huh. alfred isn’t on here and no one knows who made the chat?” “so whoever made it just left immediately?” “...” “lol anyways”

tim was trying to send a snap to the core four gc but accidentally sent it to the family chat and gets super embarrassed (of course this happens when everyone’s online why wouldn’t they if it makes tim’s life more difficult) and everyone makes fun of him. duke printed out copies and plastered them all over tim’s apartment while tim was out for something and tim nearly murders duke. after that no one puts the chat on mute because this was too funny.

no one actually, like, texts on a regular basis because they’re not like other families 🙄 they only text if it’s really important or someone’s dying.

that’s being said, “dick where is dog” “send doggy” “dog?” “send doggy” “dick when did you get a dog?” “SEND DOGGY” “i demand you send the dog this instant” “dog now.”

damian breaks into dick’s apartment to take a selfie with him and haley (or bitewing, haley is just shorter to type) captioned “she is mine this is a warning to all of you. i will not hesitate if any of you low lives come near her.” and dick is like “??? this is my dog i can’t have anything these days, siblings take everything, man—” oh ya, everyone reacts to the haley photo with a heart. also dick only lets this shit slide with damian, if jason the problem child pulled this shit it would be on sight lmfaooo

- tim: the dog is cute but, but in photography i learned you have to crop out everything unimportant, like this *crops out damian from the photo*

- in other news, tim joined the dead bats club and now only bruce and duke are left 😃🔪

bruce: check in if you are alive. *everyone’s status is online*

u don’t know about y’all, but my bruce wayne is a responsible father who keeps an eye on his kids, or at least does his best, “has anyone seen duke? he has school and i can’t find him” “i will find him... if you give me $50.” “i will give you the money jason just tell me where he is” jason sends a photo of himself and duke laying down on the floor eating pop tarts.

-“literally why do you all keep coming into my apartment” “our apartment, dick” “i pay for this apartment it��s mine, i keep living in blüdhaven for a reason, god, siblings always steal everything that’s your’s—” it’s ok guys dick simultaneously has eldest daughter’s syndrome and absent sibling syndrome, who is doing it like him? legend behavior. anyways, duke and jason left crumbs on the floor and dick beat them up lmao.

“can i have money” “dad” (theyre sent by same person just different text) “yes cass i will sent you as much as you need, $2,000 is enough for shipping with friends?” “dad can i have money too” “dad can i too” “may i have some too dad” “dad” “dad” fhdjdjsks they only call him dad when they’re dying, want something, or are tattling on each other, someone save him 😩

“@everyone the interviewer in the last segment asked me if we have a family chat and i have a feeling they will try to pry into my texts to see what we are texting, please actually send something so they don’t get even more nosy from our lack of communicating” *someone sends the bee movie script*

ok but like, as time goes on they get more comfy texting each other and acting like a normal(ish) family unit that texts a little more. like tattling.

“someone broke the vase in the hallway and if they don’t want me to tell pennyworth who did it they will buy alfred the cat a new scratching post by nightfall” damian is so funny i love him

“HELPPVHRNXKAK” “what’s up with jason?” “cass is sitting on him” “lol” “i think she’s gonna break his arm fhdjdksk” “ANDBSJ I HAT E YO U A LL” “when did you all come to the manor???”

“😂” bruce vs “lol” dick and cass vs “agdhsjak” tim and duke vs “hA” jason vs “i don’t find any of you funny” damian

“damian i am putting your lemon cake pop thingies in the last bottom shelf on the right, i put the code and everything in the safe” “how often does damian even come to your apartment, dick?” “whenever you’re being an asshole bruce” “he’s always an asshole dickhead 🙄” “exactly 🥰”

“dad guess what” “TIM NOOO” “remember when” “TIM TIM TIM” “you told duke to take the day shift” “I WILL NEVER POST YOUR SNAP PHOTOS TO A GROUPCHAT WITH THE ENTIRE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY AGAIN!!!” “and he agreed to if he did his school work first?” “MERCY, MERCY” “what did he do, tim” “fjdjxkskkz duke goes on school zoom meetings during patrol and pretends he doesn’t have a mic and camera and i was watching his helmet footage and it was so funny, the teachers just believe him when he pretends to have really bad network and can barely type in the chat” “my teachers never trusted me that much” “that’s because you made a kid cry once jason stfu” “wait how did u know that cass—“

“AHDBSNZKAJHF” “stfu duke” “what’s wrong with him where is he?” “cain came to visit” “ohhhh” “FHDJFJDJ HELLPPPXSND” “i know you’re taking a video, you little shit, send it” “no todd come here and take one yourself—or don’t, your presence is unwanted” “fucking brat”

“DAD DICK HIT ME” “DAD JASON’S LYING” *bruce wayne online* (he doesn’t fucking respond fhsjskla) (is it because he’s exasperated with them or crying because they called him dad even though it’s a manipulation tactic or both we’ll never know)

“everyone who is alive, type in chat” *everyone is online* then bruce edits the message to say ‘everyone who wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, type in chat’ “i guess NO ONE wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, how sad” and the entire chat goes wild lmfao

ok uhhh let’s do on a scale of 1-10 texts most vs is online the most

bruce: 6-texting, 5.9-online because he always makes an effort to text his kids to check up on them and when his kids are texting he will text as well here and there in the convo to interact with them because he never sees and interacts with them normally and he wants to do better 🥲. he get’s minus 0.1 because of that one time jason and dick were fighting and he logged off agdhsjnz

dick: 3-texting, 3.5-online because he’s the only one in this hellhole of a family that has an actual job (in this house we uphold gymnastics teacher grayson 🙏) and sometimes he won’t have energy to text. so. but he does make an effort when he can. he’s online more than he texts because he’s able to sneak looks at the fights when he has downtime during his job and wants to see the drama lmfaooo. also everything goes on in his fucking apartment for some reason, so now he gotta break up a (one sided) fight between cass and tim because someone has to be a responsible adult.

cass: 2-texting, 10-online because she watches more than she texts? she’s more content to watch what’s going on than to join in. also 8/10 she’s usually the one causing the drama that everyone’s texting about, like beating up the others, so she can’t text while beating them up. i mean she could, but she wants to put more energy in beating them up (lovingly) (cass is basically violence (loving)) and watching what everyone’s saying about her fights. she’s always online to catch a glimpse at the drama. also most of her texts are to dick to see bitewing. and ask for money.

jason: texting-8, online-4 because if cass is the one causing drama offline, jason’s causing drama online. jason wants to be chat cryptic but texts the most lmfaoooo. he’s antagonizing his siblings whenever he sees them and whenever he can’t, king shit. he’s online less because he deadass doesn’t care that much, he’ll read the texts later if he really wants to, otherwise either duke or tim will fill him in on the drama. (“jason ur in the chat too—“ “shut up, tim, now tell me how cass beat damian’s ass)

tim: texting-6.44444, online-10, see tim texts a lot just not to the family group chat lmfao, he has REAL FRIENDS 😤 uhh ya, that’s why he’s online all the time, cuz he’s either texting his friends or on his phone doing some shit. broke: tim stays up late working on cases, woke: tim stays up late texting his friends and playing video games over chat. tim just. interacts with his family, gets bullied by them, ya. that’s the life. also he and duke keep throwing hands because it’s the family curse to beat up tim and in this essay i will discuss how dick is the superior sibling because he never tried to kill tim—wait he probably pushed him down the stairs once nvm but it was totally justified, king

duke: texting-4, online-4 because he has, like, school. and daytime patrol. and is like a junior in high school and therefore has a fuck ton of homework. my boy has no time for family and he doesn’t want it because they’re annoying, obviously 🙄. if he wants drama he’ll go into damian’s room and get the drama. diy icon. he’s online as much as he texts but is so fast of a reader he’ll know the drama in time for the next episode of wayne family shit. most of his time online is picking fights with tim and roasting his siblings to a crisp. he’s so mean, guys, legend has it that one time duke told jason that his helmet looked like a shriveled up dildo and that it could never be the gay statement he wanted it to be jason went offline for that entire day in order to cry himself to sleep. at least he got sleep (allegedly) ayyy duke the problem solver.

damian: texting-1.5, online 2 because the only time he’s texting is to ask dick for photos of bitewing and to send photos of his pets back as proper payment. a negotiator ugghhh father like son. damian honestly doesn’t care about the drama he just wants to sketch bitewing (using the photos dick sent as reference) into the Family Portrait Sketch™️ of the rest of the Animal Family™️. it is an honor for damian to create such a piece, picasso the women hater quakes in his grave as such art that blows his dog shit “art” FAR out of the water is developing. anyways, he goes online for that and to throw random barbs at his siblings. like no one is online and damian just throws a “drake is stupid” in chat and just dips. he’s online more to text the other teen titans and jon because they’re better than his dumbass family (and he texts grayson on messenger so fhdjdjsks) true chat cryptic, jason envies him

alfred: 0-texting, 10-online. huh who said that

“duke take down the tik toks, tim is crying”

“who has my sweatshirt??? i will kill you all” “i have it jason” “nvm cass that’s your sweatshirt now i’m sorry for being presumptuous don’t aTTACK ME” fhdjdjsks

“guys i have the day off do you want to hear when delilah said to jonathon it’s so funny” “are those the kids in your gymnastics class?” “ya” “tell us everything”

the bats just... love hearing drama about those kids because they’re so dramatic. apparently alex threw a rubber ball at maya and she tackled them. wild.

time for a round of: WHO SAID IT?!?!

“how do i make my text bold like the rest of you?” —bruce, dick, cass, and jason at some point.

“how do i change my screen name? please change it back to before” -cass when tim changed her name to “hal jordon #1 stan” (“what is a stan” —bruce), (“i don’t like it either change it back” —bruce after finding out what a stan is)

“what the fuck is a pog” —jason

“fucking ‘tik tok’. we used to use vine when i was a teen. i was a front line soldier of great disasters” —dick on one hand lmfao dick is so old but on the other hand holy shit you used vine??? tell us more about the battles fought

“what is a dilf?” —bruce after scrolling through twitter

ok that’s all, my brain is gone.

“cass dick is turning purple get off him” “no. make him give me my scarf back.” “oh dad that’s terrible can you send a video as evidence?”

“GUYS I FOUND A CAT AND IT SCRATCHED ME AND IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL BUT GUYS!!! CAT!!!” “drake send a photo of the cat immediately” lmfao bruce zooms to the hospital after that text

“GUYS THE CAT HAS AN OWNER I CANT KEEP THE CAT 🥲” “the one time you could prove to be of use and you fail, drake.” “wow tim, find a cat to steal without an owner next time” “timmy, timmy, timmy, i can’t believe you’ve messed up in finding a cat again” “again?” “again?” “again?” “when i adopt a cat i’m not showing any of you, i hate you all” (lmao hard version of guess who is who i’ll give you a hint dick cass and bruce are the confused ones. )ok it’s not hard anymore.

“dad please get me a cat 😳🐱 haha jk 🤣😩 unless 👀😏😃🙏🥰” anyways tim named the cat starry because of her fur-hair-thingy

“they just so you all know steph just crashed in my apartment and i have work in the morning” “i will pick her up in the morning” “you mean tim will, you don’t have a license, cass. anyways”

“dick do you need help moving?” “no, bruce, i think i can handle it, donna and wally are helping me anyways, but thank you” “mOVING???” “OUT OF YOUR APARTMENT???” “DICK THAT SAME APARTMENT ON 666 HELLHOLE AVENUE???” “...ya?” “NOOOOO” anyways they all break into dick’s new apartment when he moves in, walk around it, and then leave. they just... ya... damn, these bats...

anyways that’s all. see ya.

[salamoonder]

alright so i was talking about this the other day in the groupchat and i cannot get over how good for each other caleb and beau are?? like there’s something...i don’t know there is something absolutely next level about empire siblings. like. okay. (under a cut bc this got so FUCKING long, what the fuck. also i talk about essek for a bit and how i think he will change their relationship.)

i’ve said it a million times but i think beau had the best possible reaction to caleb’s backstory reveal. she didn’t discount it; she didn’t treat it like nothing. she basically went “that’s fucked up, man, but you can and will do better” which i think is exactly what he needed to hear. caleb has this tendency to wallow in guilt and when you wallow in guilt it’s very easy to fall into a trap of inaction or only wanting to focus on things that will make that guilt quiet down (i.e., working on the very dangerous and perhaps impossible task of going back in time to save his parents. it’s kind of like people who are intent on doing relief work in far off countries where “real” poverty exists but who don’t wanna help the homeless people living in their own city.) beau pushes him to take his focus off the guilt quieting plans and put his focus on things that will actually be doing good for the sake of doing good. i think that’s sometimes a very difficult distinction to make and tbh beau has a very good grasp on it.

i also think this plays into part of the reason caleb still hasn’t told jester (or cad?) like okay number one, he’s scared. number two, i literally don’t think he can handle the easy forgiveness he would get from them (especially jester) and i think it would send him into a spiral of “no you don’t get it i did a bad bad thing i’m a terrible person” that might be hard to pull out of. and beau is extremely critical in general. she sees a thing she doesn’t like, you don’t have to wonder about it. “well that’s fucked up” are going to be the first words out of her mouth. caleb doesn’t have to worry about her misunderstanding the heaviness of what he’s done the way i suspect he does with the others. beau is never going to diminish how bad he feels about doing a thing; all she’s going to do is say “okay, and what are you gonna do about it?” which is THE BEST. THING. action is the best thing for depressed people oh my god. anyway.

honestly like. ok my favorite thing about beau is that despite the social awkwardness/prickliness she is genuinely *really good at people*. she understands people. i literally still cannot get over how good she is at handling caleb’s panic attacks. i think a lot of people’s first instinct w handling panic attacks is to smother, or, worse, to get just as worked up as the person panicking trying to calm them down. beau is very detached, calm, and levelheaded. she provides physical comfort/stimulus, water, and someone to talk to, and she waits. ( @thedarklordsnicklefritz pointed out recently that she’d be a very good nurse.)

now, caleb to beau: he so clearly, so obviously values her opinions and what she has to say. for all that he is “the smart one”--for all that the wheels in his head are constantly turning and for all that he has a plan for everything--he sits quietly and listens to her whenever she has something to say. he asks her about herself. he wants to know her plans and her goals. not only does he treat her like an adult with agency and ambition and ideas worth hearing, he treats her as a colleage. as a fellow scholar. and i think that beau was sorely lacking that kind of respect, especially under zeenoth. i think it’s something that she craves. even when they are at each other’s throats, he doesn’t interrupt her arguments. he listens till she’s done, and then he speaks. even if he’s growling at her through clenched teeth. he still gives her that respect.

another thing about caleb is that he mirrors the kind of love that beau shows him right back at her. leaving molly’s grave? the shit in kamordah? hand on her shoulder. here is frumpkin. here is frumpkin again. and again. and again--here is some quiet show of support, some small comfort. nothing to embarrass her or cause undue awkwardness. just, there, always. they are each other’s constants and i will literally never be over this oh my god--

okay another thing is, and this is going to be a bit touchy and i might word wrong so please be patient with me and ask questions if you have them, there is something to be said about the friendship of two people who are fundamentally romantically and sexually incompatible. like there’s a reason why “gay best friend” is a trope and there is some not great stuff surrounding it. but i also think that there is a kind of value in a friendship where you never have to worry about romantic or sexual shit coming up. there’s a certain security there, a kind of...safety. there is a safety in "i have no interest in your sex life." there is a safety in beau being a lesbian. both of them have some real baggage/struggles surrounding relationships, and this is not to say that they will never have a meaningful or secure or safe romantic/sexual relationship again. it’s just that there are unique problems that both of those will bring to them--unique problems that i think may bring them each a unique beauty and growth in working through--but nevertheless, unique problems that neither of them have to worry about with each other. their friendship is safe from that.

alright, now onto essek: i am really worried/intrigued for what he will mean for their friendship when they get back to xhorhas and have to deal with him. i think they both see him very differently, and i can’t see them getting through...*waves hand* “punishment” and whatever that means, without another blowup fight and serious hurt feelings.

i think caleb quite clearly sees himself in essek; i don’t think i need to lay that comparison out for anyone, honestly the whole 97 speech sums it up pretty well. what i would like to say is i think caleb has found hope in essek, for essek, in a way that i don’t quite think he’s managed to do for himself yet. like he’s gotten a lot better, but i think a symptom of getting better is that you see your flaws more clearly, and i think that’s very much happening to him right now. i think he sees himself as the same (or possibly even worse), regardless of how far he’s come. (see “i am ruined” to fjord.) i think essek is a mirror for him in which he sees himself more clearly without even realizing that that’s what he’s doing. he sees a selfish person who has done selfish things and hurt people in the process. and he also sees someone with a conscience and empathy who is extremely capable of doing real good. he sees someone with potential. someone with kindness in his soul. someone who could take his guilt and turn it into action, maybe to soothe some of that guilt the way caleb started, and maybe to eventually leave that behind, and do good for the sake of doing good. he sees someone in pain who is in need of support and a friend like beau to nudge him in the right direction.

and beau sees someone who has done selfish things for selfish reasons and does not show nearly enough remorse for it. she sees someone who has caused death and pain out of carelessness and pride and misplaced judgement. she sees someone who values his own gains over the lives of others and justifies that to make himself feel better, and i think that’s exactly the kind of authority figure that beau hates most. she sees someone who better fucking prove that this remorse is real or so help me god i’ll show you what remorse is.

and i think caleb (unfortunately like so much of this fandom with various characters) has latched onto essek as this mirror of himself, and i think at this point any judgement that beau passes on essek will reflect unfortunately on caleb. and the worst part is, beau isn’t going to see that. she wasn’t there for the razor speech. i think to her it’s obvious what she thinks of caleb: he’s a person who’s done some fucked up shit, sure, but he is someone who cares deeply about getting better and has proven himself to be a kind, unwavering person over and over again. he’s more than alright in her book. whereas essek hasn’t really done anything to win him anywhere near the same kind of rapport with her. clearly, in her mind, they are different. why should they be otherwise?

but caleb is going to hear any criticism and, i think, just apply it straight on to himself. i think he thinks that he and essek are so similar that any cut towards essek is a cut towards him. i think he is going to be deeply hurt, i think it’s going to feel like a betrayal--like a revocation of the trust that beau has in him--and i think beau is going to have no idea.

[lovingmyselfcore]

Chapter One

Skate Into My Heart -- Solangelo AU

It’s finally here!

In the prologue I said that sectionals came first- I’m sorry part of the internet lied to me. Regionals is first so that’s what’ll be happening here

Bryce was barreling towards him.

Clarisse attempted to take the puck and stop Bryce but today he was chock full of red-hot anger and elbowed her out of his way, swiping at her ankles with his stick.

She barely managed to skate out of his way and yelled, “Lawrence! What’s the matter with you!” 

It seemed to go in one ear and out the other.

He kept the puck close to him, keeping every other player away from him.

And he just kept his course straight to the goal. Straight to Will.

It was a practice game. Didn’t he know that? What was he doing? This wasn’t a big deal.

Bryce was still skating when he shot. It seemed like it was in slow-motion. The puck soared through the air, rising off the ice.

Will dove to block it from entering the goal - which was the wrong move. It hit him square in his chest, with enough force to make Will abruptly lose his breath.

Bryce came to a halt in front of him, spraying Will with ice shards.

“Lawrence, it seemed like that had quite the pent up aggression,” Connor said, while Will caught his breath.

Bryce rolled his eyes, taking off his helmet. “Just cause Solace and the rest of you are weak pussies.”

“Pussies’?” Travis came up behind Connor. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarisse only snarled her agreement.

“Guys,” Jason said. “Come on, it’s just Bryce being Bryce.”

Bryce turned to face Jason. “What is that supposed to mean, Grace.”

Jason crossed his arms, his eyes flashing. 

“Why was that the term you picked?” Clarisse asked, her voice low. Dangerous.

“This isn’t helping anything.” Will cut in. “Let’s just leave it. He’ll learn his lesson eventually. Someone will teach him.”

Jason seemed to steel himself, “Yeah. Let’s not fight.”

“Why?” Bryce taunted. “Are you both gay or something?” Will felt his hand twitch, almost curling itself into a fist. Surveying the team, everybody seemed to be holding themselves back.

Will was saved from answering Bryce’s (admittedly, most likely rhetorical, though it was doubtful he knew what that word meant) when he heard someone yell, “Will!”

It was Kayla standing at the edge of the rink. He skated over to her and came to a stop in front of her.

He jumped up to sit on the thick barrier and pull his skates off. “What?” He looked over to see Kayla looking at him with her arms crossed over her chest.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for ages now. Your mom keeps calling your phone.”

Will went quiet, holding back a curse.

Kayla looked at him sympathetically despite him not saying anything.

“Alright. Thanks.” She patted him on the shoulder as he wove around her.

“Hey, mom,”

“William. Why haven’t you answered me?”

“I’ve been practicing, mom.”

“Practicing for anything in particular?” Her voice was high - too high - he knew this always meant she expected an answer he couldn’t give her.

“Hockey, mom.”

She sighed sadly and he got defensive.

“You know I’m only playing to try and somehow help me get through med school.”

“I know, honey. But still, it’s such a brutish sport, and locker rooms,” He could feel her shudder through the phone. “All the men.”

Will knew better than to probe about what that meant.

It would be easier to get through med school if you let me ask - or even talk - to dad. You and I both know he’d be willing. It is Medical School.

He didn’t say that though, it would only piss her off or make her sad and it just wouldn’t be a good situation. 

After an awkward silence, he saw Jason poke his head into the narrow corridor Will was in. Jason made some frantic, but quiet (ever polite) hand motions.

Will didn’t know if he should be feeling such intense relief, considering Jason’s face was pretty panicked.

“Mom, I’ve got to know. They need me.”

“Okay,” She said hesitantly. “Make sure to study tonight. You’ve got to keep everything fresh. Always.”

He wasn’t even in school yet. (He was trying though). And she wanted him to know everything.

Will didn’t know what he hated more. His mother’s expectations, or Bryce Lawerence. Really, it was a difficult choice.

She hung up before he could say anything.

He jogged over to where Jason was. “C’mon,” Jason said.

While they were walking Jason kept glancing at Will with a concerned expression. “What,” Will said finally, lips quirking into a smile.

“You alright, man? Your facial expressions during that call didn’t seem great.”

Will shrugged dismissively, “Just my mom. You know how that is.”

Jason laughed darkly, “Don’t I.”

“So what’s up,” Will asked, remembering how frantic he’d been.

“Oh, yeah. Um.”

Will grinned, “Spit it out, Grace. I’m a big boy. I can take it.”

Jason snorted. “I need someone to come with me to the figure skating Regionals tonight.”

Will tripped over his own feet but caught himself before he hit the ground.

Jason looked at him with brief worry then just burst out laughing.

“Leave me alone,” But Will was laughing too. “Why?”

“So you know, my sister Thalia,” Will nodded - everybody knew Thalia - “She’s best friends with this woman, Annabeth Chase. They’ve known each other since Annabeth was seven. Old history ya know.”

“So Annabeth’s a skater. She was going to be competing actually. But something awful happened with her boyfriend, he’s across the country. I’m unsure about the details. Thalia left to meet them earlier today, she’s also close with the boyfriend, I guess. So Thals needs me to go because apparently these tickets cost a lot and she doesn’t want them to go to waste.”

Jason’s voice got low like he was sharing a conspiracy nobody knew. “A little secret about me, I appreciate figure skaters.”

Will let out a surprised laugh and made his voice as low as Jason’s, “Me too.”

Jason smiled, “I figured. Which is why I’m inviting you. Thalia had two. One for her, and one for Grover Underwood.”

Will hummed his acknowledgment. “Yeah, dude. Of course, I’ll come. Just tell me time and place.”

Jason pumped his fist in the air.

~~~~~

Jason had told him he would pick him up, so here Will was. Waiting for Jason to arrive. He’d dressed nice (but not too nice) it was a competition after all, and despite how much he’d deny it his mother’s lessons in etiquette had stuck.

Will was texting, sitting on the couch up against the window in his small apartment. He was letting the dying sunlight filter in and light the space. The reds and oranges and yellows made Will look like some sort of deity. It haloed his hair and accentuated the sharp planes of his face. His feet were propped, knees bent, next to him. 

It was a groupchat with Austin, Kayla, and himself. The only way it could be summed up is: chaos.

Kayla: Sooooo

Austin: Yes?

Kayla: Not you

Austin: How dare you

Kayla: Go play your saxophone and feel better

Austin: I will

Austin: Not because you told me to

Kayla: Oh of course not

Will: So that ‘soooo’ was for me, then?

Kayla: Oh yeah

Kayla: Any cutes boys you’ve met recently?

Will: You know that you’d know if I met anybody

Austin: Is there anybody lgbt even at the rink

Will: Oh yeah but nobody I’ve noticed I like

Kayla: :(

Will was startled by a knock on the door. 

“It’s open!” He called, getting off the couch to meet Jason.

~~~ Nico

I slowly sank to a sitting position, feeling the rough brick scrape my back. I knew it would leave noticeable marks but right now, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I had been stretching and messing around with the others but suddenly my chest had felt very tight.

Hazel had seen the pained expression on my face and made some excuse, letting me slip out the backdoor.

I couldn’t do this.

Saltwater. I tasted salt water.

I couldn’t.

It trickled down my neck.

I couldn’t.

I was so fucking weak.

For so, so many reasons.

I could feel the gradually growing serpent of my anxieties building in the back.

I hadn’t practiced for this enough, and I was going to let everyone down.

The judges were going to find out my most closely guarded secret and-

No. Forget the judges. Everyone was going to find out.

Everyone.

I was probably going to mess up and embarrass myself in one of the biggest competitions of my life.

I was going to let everyone down.

Again. 

I’d found a family and all because I was a fucking failure, I was going to lose them.

I knew I had enough cash in my bag to leave if I had to.

By bag I mean the one I always had:

A change of clothes

Cash for bus tickets

Bottled water and protein bars

A pocket knife.

But it wouldn’t be enough, would it?

I still wouldn’t be able to get away from the shame.

From any of the shame.

Why did I have to be this way? Why

I couldn’t breathe

I couldn’t fucking breathe.

The saltwater ran like a perverted caress down my face and neck and chest.

I shivered involuntarily

“Hey,” The voice was soft, and not familiar.

I turned so quickly half of my face scraped the wall.

We winced in sync.

It was the boy I’d seen in the rink some time ago, the hockey player.

~~~~

Will

“Hey, Jason?”

He looked at me.

We were being jostled through the crowd. There were so many people. So many.

“I need some air. Can you text me our seat numbers?”

He paused and looked at me. At how my eyes flitted around the room and my flinch every time someone ran into me.

“Yeah, of course, dude.” He made shooing motions with his hands, making me snort. He grinned but kept staring at me until I turned around and started pushing my way through the crowd.

I knew I couldn’t go outside the front door, there would be even more people there. So I did something scandalous.

I pushed open the door marked Employees Only and was ejected outside the back of the building. 

I was walking along the wall when I saw movement a few feet away.

It was a boy, pressing himself against the wall like it was simultaneously all that was keeping him alive and like he wanted to fade into it.

“Hey,” I murmured like I was attempting to talk down a tiger.

He turned, scraping his face along the wall. But he didn’t seem to feel it.

He looked like some kind of ghoul, sitting there. The bad lighting from the street lamps washed out his ivory skin, making him look deathly.

Those dark eyes peered at me.

He’d look terrifying, except he appeared too small for his body.

He was shivering, tears running freely down his face.

At the angle he was sitting, it looked like his bones were almost poking out of his skin.

Some sense in me was screaming to help him, and though he looked like the opposite type to accept my help he hadn’t run away either.

I looked him up and down and saw with panic he seemed to be holding his breath, but he didn’t seem to realize it.

I didn’t know who this boy was, besides seeing him occasionally at the rink.

But we were both here and like hell was I going to leave him.

~~~~

Nico

He was looking at me with a look of sympathy. Not pity. Sympathy.

He reached out but I flinched away from him and he let his hand drop.

“Can you breathe?” His voice was serious but caring. I couldn’t really see him, the water in my eyes distorted him but I felt like he was some kind of god. He looked like pure sunlight.

I only shook my head, suddenly feeling the urge to take large gulping breaths.

“Put your head between your knees.”

He didn’t reach for me again, but his fingers twitched like he wanted to.

The surrounding world was a dull roar in my ears. The serpent, who’d been ready to devour me whole, angrily shrank back into the recesses of my brain until I could only see those slit-pupiled eyes. It was only lying in wait. Like always. When I lifted my head, my scowl was back.

Despite the rivulets of saltwater- not tears, I couldn’t call them that - I snarled at him, “Leave me alone. I didn’t ask for your help.”

He raised his hands in surrender, “I’m sorry. I’m not going to tell anyone what happened here, so you don’t have to worry about that. Nico, right?”

I just growled again but he didn’t seem to take the hint. He had a small backpack next to him and he rummaged through it and handed me some tissues and a water bottle.

I raised my eyebrows.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to cross through to go to the bathroom.”

I grudgingly accepted and started wiping at my face after dampening the tissues. He pulled out a small tube of ointment. “Put it on your face, okay? The scrape is not that bad. But it can’t hurt.”

I just stared blankly at him and he laid it next to me with a smile.

He waved, a little awkwardly, as he walked away.

As I stared at the ointment and the tissues and water I could only come up with one coherent thought:

What the fuck

~~~~ Will

His phone pinged with a message from Jason. After a few seconds of searching, he found it in his small backpack. He distractedly glanced over the text.

Jason: We’re in row A, seats 5 and 6. Thalia got us right up front.

Will: Sounds good

Will: I’ll head there now

He slipped his phone back into his bag.

He really hoped Nico was okay. He was a figure skater and most likely is competing tonight, and Will had never seen him in action but he was almost positive they would need him.

“Hey!” Jason waved to him from their seats and Will slid in next to him.

“You okay?” Jason asked after Will got settled. “You looked pretty uncomfortable.”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I’m okay. I’m not normally like that but something about that environment.” He shuddered. “Anyway, everything’s good now.”

Jason nodded with a smile.

Will surveyed the rink. It was nicer than their rinks back at the studio which was saying something.

He spotted the judge's podium, on a small platform slightly above the rink. There were five judges, none of them looking like they entirely wanted to be here and all of them looking like they would throttle whoever came out.

Not only did the judges look unhappy, but about half of the crowd also did too. They were all shifting like they were here, but there was somewhere else they’d rather be. Why come then?

Will couldn’t imagine being one of the skaters in the locker rooms right now, he’d probably throw up.

“First up!” The booming voice of the announcer made Will jump slightly in his seat.

“The singles competition,” He drawled. “From Crescent City…”

Will tuned him out as he watched the woman glide out onto the ice. She was really good and kept most of the crowd entranced, but Will also had an eye on the judges. Only a few of them seemed impressed but only one seemed bored, which most likely was a good thing for her.

“From Olympus Ice,”

Jason and Will leaned forward at the same time.

“Nico Di Angelo!”

Will felt himself clapping as soon as his name was announced.

Nico seemed to magically appear on the ice, looking significantly more confident than the last time he’d seen him.

He appeared to take a deep breath and steel himself before beginning his routine. It was magic. Pure magic.

The way he flew made it look like he’d been born to do this.

It was elegant, but, in a way, suspenseful. Like he could do something unexpected at any moment.

Will was frozen, lips slightly parted as Nico made everyone believe he owned the rink.

He wove a story with his fluid movements, a story that held Will captive.

He attempted a move that never in Will’s wildest dreams could he do, everyone watched as he spun with bated breath and cheered when he landed but the skater in Will recognized that he hadn’t done it. He almost did, and he definitely caught himself, but he hadn’t done it.

And if those judges were worthy at all for their position, they would know too.

Nico finally slid to a stop in front of the judges, his arms crossed over his chest and his chin tilted upward, challenging them to mention the slip-up.

It was quite a scene. He looked almost ethereal and they were all sitting (or standing in Nico’s case) looked like something out of a painting.

Later, after the other singles and the partners and the ensembles, the audience was still, waiting for the announcement.

“The 1st place winner, and who will be going to Sectionals is…

Olympus Ice!” People burst into applause but Will was only staring at Nico who was standing with his team, a barely-there smile present on his face, but enough to make Will whisper, “Wow,”

Jason glanced at him, then at where he was staring. “Don’t do that, Will. No figure skaters. You know that.”

Will rolled his eyes and scoffed,  “I would never.”

Jason sighed and smiled, “Good.”

[inuykago]

lady friends?

inuyasha pride month 2020 ::

day 2 - lesbian + day 10 - kagome

thinkin of kagome and sango together makes my heart flutter. please accept this one shot I wrote for pride month ヽ(^◇^*)/

inspired by dailyau prompt:

I thought I just didn’t like relationships but turns out I’m actually super gay AU 

for reference! kagome inspo. sango inspo.

{kagsan. modern college au. 3,050 words. ff.net / ao3.}

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I hate college.

The classes are dragging, professors don’t care about study guides or reviews (do they want me to fail?), and, to top it all off, I’m alone.

Not that I can’t be by myself, but there’s friend groups here, friend groups there, a couple right next to me, and all of them look at me like, “Poor freshman, why doesn’t she have anybody?”

Well, everybody, I do have people! There’s Ayumi, Eri, and Yuka … but, I chose a different college than them…

Yeah, they all stuck together… B-But we still talk every day in our “Gal Pals 💕” group chat. Well, they do understand each other more than I do… since I’m out here by myself… but it’s fine.

I’m fine.

“Ms. Higurashi!” I snapped out of my thoughts, releasing my pen from my bite. Uh oh, did he notice I wasn’t paying attention?

“Y-Yes professor?”

The man crossed his arms as he gripped the smartboard marker, “Since it looks like you’re thinking so hard-” I really wasn’t “-can you name me some baroque-style paintings?”

“Of course,” I had to act confident. “Well, there’s the one painted by…” Shit, did we even learn a baroque painter? “Uh…”

Riiiinnnnggg!

“Hmm, saved by the bell,” he said.  

Thank God.

I rushed to close my pink laptop and carelessly dropped it into my yellow bookbag. I refused to give my professor a chance to pull me aside after class because (1) I know I’m not a bad student (so please don’t talk to me like I’m one) and (2) I may have a heart attack if he tries to say otherwise.

As I got up, something knocked me in the head.

“?????” is basically what I said to myself as I bent down to pick up the crumbled piece of paper. “Are we in middle school?” I rolled my eyes and straightened it out.

PARTY AT INUYASHA’S DORM-

“Oi!” a guy shouted as he and another ran up beside me. “S-Sorry, that wasn’t…. Uh…. meant for you.”

Of course it wasn’t.

“No worries,” I smiled, handing back the middle-school note. Honestly, me? Party? Yeah right.

“Say, this invitation doesn’t have to go to waste,” said the guy from behind. His short ponytail, bangs, and gold earrings distracted me for a second. “Hmm…,” he looked at me from head to toe. “Well, you’re just as pretty as the girl we were trying to give it to,” he gave me a smirk that made me uncomfortable. “See you there,” he threw his arm around me and squeezed me.

Should I elbow or kick him?

Well, he’s gone already. Perv.

Finally getting out of that classroom, I minded my business walking through the crowded hallway. I guess let me take another look at this oh-so wonderful invitation:

PARTY AT INUYASHA’S DORM

10 P.M., BRONISLAW HALL

PLEASE BRING LADY FRIENDS 😉

Yeah, I was right. He’s probably a perv.

The next day…

“How is it already 7 p.m.?” I rubbed my eyes, waking up from a long-needed nap.

Those two tests today really killed me, I guess. I’m just not cut out for history nor business marketing.

I sat up from my bed and looked at the empty other side of the room. My roommate never moved in. I don’t know if I should be happy or feel even more lonely??

“Ah well,” I shrugged.

I could see the sharpie-written note “PARTY AT INUYASHA’S” on my cluttered desk. “PLEASE BRING LADY FRIENDS” was ringing in my ear for whatever reason.

“Should I even go?” I asked myself. Well, when in doubt, turn to the Girls.

[ Groupchat: Gal Pals 💕 ]:

Ladies!!! I need help 😩

Ayumi 💛

Anything for my kags!!

Eri 💓

Spill!!

Yuka 💜

👀👀

Sooo I was kind of (???) invited

to this party on campus. Was told to bring lady friends.

Can any of my lady friends plsssss join me??

Eri 💓

Any cute boys?

Ayumi 💛

^^^^^^

Yuka 💜  

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ehhhhhh, i don’t know. Probably??

Yuka 💜

I wish you told us sooner kags :/ … we’re going

to a party tonight too

Aahhh, no worries! It cant be helped.

Have fun gals, pls be safe 🥺 and

someone please keep an eye on eri…

you know how she is drunk 🙄

Ayumi 💛

You got it mom

Eri 💓

*rolling eyes gif*

😘😘

Well, there’s my answer to that, I guess.

(THE LAST FOUR HOURS BEFORE THE PARTY:1

7:37 P.M.

-- Kagome binging Maid Sama on Netflix, wrapped in a blanket, eating popcorn --

Yeah… I’m not going.

8:37 P.M.

-- Kagome watching The Notebook, crying, on her couch --

I [sniffle] just want [sigh] love.

9:37 P.M.

-- Kagome lip syncing to “I’ll Kill You” by Summer Walker ft. Jhene Aiko, wearing her rose gold beats --

🎶 Dooon’t, have me lookin’ foolish, dooon’t, have me lookin’ stuupid 🎶

10:37 P.M.

-- Kagome, bored, scrolling on Instagram --

Eh. Whatever, I’ll go.

END:1 )

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ah, the smell of booze and desperate boys. So this is college life.

Inuyasha’s place was a four-man dorm. There had to be like 40 to 50 people here already, and I’ve never seen any of them before. Yay, Kagome.

The music was pounding and all I could see were guys on girls, girls on guys, and, the occasional, girl on girl action. I shoved my way through the sea of people, eventually getting some breathable room near the small table in the corner that had Hennessy, Tequila, and Bacardi Rum.

Well, if I’m choosing my poison, tequila and sprite it is.

“Keh, Tequila and sprite?” I turned around because who the hell was talking to me? “I like your taste.”

His fluff white, silver hair was one of the few things that stood out in the near-complete darkness. He sipped his (henny and coke?) drink and leaned on the table, eying me up and down. Is that all boys do?

"I’m Inuyasha,” he smirked, taking another sip and fixing his backwards red dad hat. “If you didn’t know that already.”

Why did I decide to come again?

“Thanks for the housewarming,” I mouthed sarcastically. “But the bathroom is calling my name so-” I nodded my head to the side and shuffled to anywhere but there. But before I could even move --

“Oi, you don’t wanna talk a bit? Get to know each other?” he put his hand on my wrist. Why do they keep thinking they can touch me?!

I ripped out of his light hold, “Sorry, not interested.”

“W-Why you--”

“Inuyasha!” great, reinforcements. “There you are, have you seen all these ladies?! I’m so h-” oh even better, it’s the Perv No. 1. “Ah! You came,” he nudged Perv No. 2. “I knew you wanted to see me again.”

“As if,” I rolled my eyes. “Now, unless you want me to urinate on your floor,” I raised my glass and gave a sarcastic smile. Jeez, I really wasn’t wrong about the desperate boys.

The two bozos stepped in my way again as if I wasn’t cornered already (think: lap dances to my right; twerking to my left; beer pong behind me). And this is why I prefer my books and Netflix.

“If you think I find this flattering,” I raised my brow, sipping my drink. “I don’t.”

“Feisty,” Inuyasha nodded his head and Perv No. 1 did that weird smile again.

Should I kick them? I should kick them.

Before I could Inuyasha began to lean in, “Yeah alright, woman, suuure you will.”

“LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE, YOU DICKS”

Eh?

“Ah, shit, Sango,” Inuyasha awkwardly scratched his neck. “You got a girlfriend already? Jeez woman.”

Perv No. 1’s mouth practically dropped to the floor, “W-What??? This goddess has a girlfriend??” he hung his head in disappointment. God bless this “Sango” chick. “Inuyasha, why didn’t you tell me?? SHE was the one I was trying to invite but then--” he eyed me in disappoint “--well we got her.”

“Excuse me?” Men.

“I got it, sweetie,” she winked and rubbed my cheek. God, why is my heart pounding? “I see either of you talk to her again and I’m ripping lil’ tweedledee and tweedledum off of you, ‘kay?”

She held my hand. Is my palm sweaty? A-Am I doing this right??

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, snatched his drink, and dragged Perv No. 1 away, whose mouth was still on the ground, “Whatever. C’mon, Miroku, the night ain’t over yet.”

“T-Thanks for saving me,” wow, she’s kinda cute.

She smiled and squeezed my hand. I didn’t mind this at all… but why is that?

“Of course, us girls gotta look out for each other, right?”

I felt myself get warm, and frankly I wasn’t sure if it was the tequila or because I was blushing. For the first time ever, I didn’t know what to say. Like, I was afraid of saying something weird and creeping her out… why is that?

“I hate guys,” she tightened her thick ponytail. “They think they’re so big and tough.”

“R-Right?!” we both laughed, and I could feel myself getting giggly. Was it the alcohol? Yeah, Kagome, of course it is.

She made herself a drink: rum and coke. She took a sip and I found myself staring at her, jeez I have to say something before I creep her out--

“So, where’s your friends?”

I snapped out of my thoughts, “Oh, they couldn’t make it… Kinda chose to come here last minute.”

She shifted her weight onto one leg, whew I really like her outfit. “Came to a back-to-school college party by yourself?” she nodded in approval. “I was wrong, you do have guts,” she sipped her drink, her lip gloss staining the red cup. “I like that.”

Uh oh, there goes my heart again. Think, Kagome, say something, be cute. Be cute. “I’m Kagome by the way.” Really, that’s it?

“Sango,” she held out her cup and I met it with mine. We both laughed again.

When our giggles died down it looked like a light bulb turned on inside her head. “Let’s go have fun!” she threw down her drink and interlocked her hand with one of mine.

?!?!??!?!??!!?! is what I yelled in my head and, sweet Jesus, there goes my heart. I shouldn’t have watched The Notebook earlier.

Sango dragged me and I couldn’t stop the fuzzy feeling. We were inside of the makeshift dance floor -- how can anyone enjoy this body heat?! -- and she just started going.

“La Romana” by Bad Bunny made the house speakers -- and just about everyone, including Sango -- jump. Her body was moving to the beats as she shouted the lyrics into the air.

I was trying to let my body loose like her, but sheesh I couldn’t keep up!

🎶 PASAME LA HOOKAH, EH! 🎶

She chugged the rest of her drink and so did I. I think I need more liquid confidence.

Four drinks later…

“Are you having fun?!” Sango yelled in my ear, laying her hand on my back, trying to bring me closer. I may be a bit drunk at this point, but I know I can feel my heart pounding again.

“Yes!!” I giggled into her ear, moving my hips to the fast beat. I don’t even know what song is playing, but my body is going with it.

🎶 IF THEM BITCHES ‘ROUND YOU, BETTER BE BLOOOD

IF AIN’T ME OR YOUR MAMA, SHOULDN’T BE SHOWIN’ YOU LOVEE

PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I KNOOOW THAT I’M STINGY 🎶

“IS THIS?!-” my eyes widened in excitement, the song still in the background.

“SUMMER WALKER?!” Sango pushed her face near mine. If I wasn’t so excited about the song I’d probably be fainting right now.

“AND JHENE AIKO??” we exclaimed in unison.

We both immediately closed our eyes and put our hands to our chests, literally singing our hearts out to “I’ll Kill You,” aka my favorite song.

For the first time at the party, I felt like myself. My hopeless-romantic-who-couldn’t-sing-but-adores-r&b self. I don’t know if it’s the fifth cup of tequila and sprite, the Goddess Summer Walker, or Sango looking so dang attractive that’s making me feel bubbly, but I just… let loose.

🗣I BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR A LOOOOVE LIKE THIS

I BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR A LOOOOOVE LIKE THIS

“Ka-go-me!” Sango shouted as she smiled at me, nodding her head in approval.

I want to serenade her… Yes, Kagome, let’s serenade her.  

🗣FUCK THAT MY BABY YOU ALLL MINE

GREATEST OF ALL TIME

YOU BETTER TELL THEM HOES, “FALL IN LINE”

I DO NOT PLAY ABOUT MINE

My voice is as angelic as Jhene right now. My arms -- with my near-empty sixth drink -- are wrapped around Sango’s neck and she’s smiling so big; I don’t know how my arms ended up here, but I… don’t want to let go.

I should keep going. Yes, keep going.

🎶I WANT YOU FOR LIIIFFFEEEE

DOOONTT, HAVE ME LOOKIN’ FOOLISH

DOOOONTT, HAVE ME FEELIN’ STUPID

Sango ran her fingers through my hair and just kept on giggling. “Okay, Ms. Jhene, let’s get out of here.”

“W-What?!” I let go of my grip. “W-Why are we l-leaving?” my words felt like it wasn’t coming fast enough out of my mouth. “T-The party j-justed start-ted!” I went for a last sip but she grabbed it so fast from my hand.

“H-Hey!” I tried to snatch it back but she was too damn fast. She’s lucky she’s cute.

Sango put down the cup on the corner table. She moved a piece of hair out of my face, “You’re suuuuuper drunk.” She laughed at me, making me even more flustered.

“I-I am n-not!”

“Do you realize how slurred your words are right now?” They are not. “Come on,” she lightly grabbed my hand. “Time for bed, princess.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I don’t know how I ended up back in my dorm room, but I did. And I don’t remember even falling asleep, but I did.

I slowly opened my eyes and just felt the room spinning. Jeez, I’m such a lightweight.

I held my head as I rose up; it was still dark outside and my wall lights were still shining a bright pink. Water… I need water.

“Woah, woah!” Sango said as she rushed to the ride of my bed with a glass of water. She has to be heaven-sent.

“Wow, it’s like you read my mind,” I laughed, taking the cup from her hand. “Thank you.”

She smiled as she pulled out my desk chair beside the bed, “Of course.” But then she looked at me and started laughing.

“What’s so funny?!” I nervously asked. What did I do? I hope I wasn’t too drunk because then I start… singing…

“You don’t remember what happened an hour ago?” I looked at her blankly. “At Inuyasha’s?”

“Ehhh,” I put my finger to my chin, thinking rather hard. “You saved me from the two Pervs, didn’t you?”

She giggled with her eyes closed, revealing her pink eyeshadow. I love that.

“Let me refresh your memory,” I don’t like where this was going.

🗣FUCK THAT MY BABY YOU ALLL MINE

GREATEST OF ALL TIME

YOU BETTER TELL THEM HOES, “FALL IN LINE”

I DO NOT PLAY ABOUT MINE

“No…”

“Yes.”

“...N-No…”

“Yes!” she chuckled, holding her stomach while I covered my face.

“I-I’m soooo sorry!” Jesus, she definitely thinks I’m weird now. “When I’m drunk I think I sound like Jhene Aiko… she’s just too powerful...”

“Yeah, I see that,” she pretended to wipe tears from her eyes. “But oh please, don’t apologize. It was so cute.”

“C-Cute?!” I accidentally yelled out loud. I immediately covered my mouth.

“Yeah, you’re so adorable,” Sango smiled. “When I saw you at the party today, I knew I wanted to talk to you. So I just went up to you and then I saw douchebag Inuyasha and his little henchman… It was only natural for me to chase them away,” she shrugged.

She knows she got it. I like that.

“Thank God you stepped in. I was really about to kick those guys in the hoohas.”

“The hoohas?” She just kept on laughing. I loved seeing her smile, whew. “You’re so cute.”

We both continued giggling because, let’s face it, I have no idea what I’m doing, saying, or hell, what I’m feeling.

“So, no friends with you tonight,” I shook my head. “How about your boyfriend?”

I shyly smiled, “Nope, don’t have one of those either… Never did.”

“Really?” Sango’s eyebrow propped upwards. “Same here.”

“What? No way!” I tried calling her out.  

Sango giggled, “How can I when girls like you are so pretty?” Oh God, did my heart just stop working? “Ah, wait, that was weird,” she scratched her neck, chuckling nervously. “Now I feel like a Perv like Inuyasha and Miroku.”

“No,” I protested. “Not at all.”

Sango looked like she felt she crossed a line. She really didn’t. In fact, she helped me realize something.

“It looks like you’re sobering up now,” she smirked. “I’ll get out of your hair. Thanks for partying with me tonight,” she blew me a flirty-but-i’m-trying-to-not-be-an-obvious-flirt kiss as she got up.

“Wait!” I didn’t want her to go. “Can you actually… stay with me? I’m here by myself, and I really like being with you.”

Sango looked at me relieved, “Of course.”

I moved more towards the wall to motion her to lay next to me. She kept looking at me and I knew my cheeks were already red, so I tried to look away. Her weight slightly pressed the bed down, but we fit. Perfectly.

I began to think back to my past “relationships” with Hojo, Koga, and Bankotsu. None of them ever worked out for me because I hated it. I hated relationships. I hate cuddling, the affection, the over-protection. But now I know, it was because I wasn’t with the right person.

“Sango?” I turned my body towards her.

“Yes, princess?” she smiled sarcastically.

I giggled, I couldn’t let this opportunity fly by me. I’m going to go for it.

I leaned in 100% for the kiss. Her lips were so soft that I realized her lip gloss was already all gone. I felt her kiss me back and honestly? fireworks. I never felt like this before.

She smiled mid-smooch, “So you do have guts.”

[iconsumeheadcanons]

April 19: Role Reversal AU

“You really should go to bed,” Morgana says to Ren with a big yawn.

Ren pays the boy no mind, continuing his foray through a box full of metaverse junk. Futaba laughs from her perch on Ren’s bed and gives a little kick to Morgana’s back.

“You should just give it up, leader,” Futaba says, typing away at her laptop, “He’s been inside way too long to worry about human concepts of time!”

Morgana pouts and pushes himself up from the floor with indignation, “It’s not like you're any better! You go to school and you still don’t go to bed on time!”

Futaba snorts and rolls over so she can bop Morgana on his head, but she misses and swipes at his tummy instead. Mona squeaks and then swipes back, and then the two first-years are engaged in a brawl of tickles and tugs that lands them both on the floor.

Marion sighs heavily at their antics and tries to act like he’s not irritated, but when Morgana’s foot flies just millimeters shy of his beak, he snaps. “Stop horseplaying will you! If you two keep shouting you’ll wake up Sakura-san!” His feathers puff up so he looks like an angry ball of black.

Futaba pauses, unknowingly saving herself from banging her head on Ren’s PC, and frees a hand to fix her glasses. After a second to process Marion’s complaints, she snorts and raises an eyebrow at the angry crow. “‘Horseplay’? What are you, my teacher?”

Marion growls in response and flies up to Ren’s shoulder to glare down at the idiots. “Had I not been teaching you all this time, Isshiki would have killed you both for all the noise you would have made in his library!”

“Well, we were noobs then,” Futaba jokes, taking Morgana’s offered hand so she can stand up, “We’re much more sneaky now! Right, Ren?” She leans over Ren’s hunched form.

Engrossed in his material sorting, Ren does not answer. Marion narrows his beady eyes at Futaba’s looming face.

“...Damn, he’s really into that, huh,” Futaba observes, swirling around to the other side of Ren’s collection of boxes so she can watch his face. His eyes are pointedly aimed at his hands, and he dips his head further when he realizes Futaba’s staring at him.

“Futaba…,” Mona scolds and Futaba steps back with a muttered apology. 

The thieves had been spending the end of their summer break reacclimating Ren to existing around strangers and trusting friends. Later in the week, they planned to go to the beach--a challenge for Futaba and Ren both--but neither had allowed themselves to back down. They may have been wordlessly competing over who could ‘push down’ their agoraphobia the best, but it was clear at the end of the day that Futaba had months of near constant companionship (and multiple life and death experiences) with the other thieves and that Ren had spent most of those months contained in Sojiro’s house stewing over fears and angers. 

“Um...Ren? Will you...Will you be okay tomorrow?” Futaba asks quietly with her hands tucked together like she was a scolded child.

“...hm?” Ren looks at Futaba’s wiggling bare toes and absently brushes Marion’s head with his thumb. Futaba and Mona grin at each other. Any noise Ren makes is a sign of his acknowledgement for a conversation, even if he’s too nervous to talk.

“She asked if you would be okay when our senpai come over tomorrow,” Mona says. His smile is supposed to be gentle, but he looks more like a smug cat when he does. 

“W-We can stick around if you want!” Futaba adds hastily,” Mona’s already my key item, but I can be yours if you want! Or, like, your accessory or armor or something!”

“I’ll come with. You’ll need any protection you can get. Takamaki and Sakamoto are almost as rambunctious as these two,” Marion mutters into Ren’s ear.

“Ooi! We heard that, birdbrain!” Futaba shouts with tension-relieving anger, clearly amused at her cliche line.

“Hey! There’s NO way in hell that I’m as loud as Ryuji-senpai!” Argues the leader of the Phantom Thieves, stamping his foot like a child. Marion glares disapprovingly at Morgana as much as his avian features allow him and provides no comment. Behind Mona, Ren’s bedroom door opens and Sojiro leans inside looking haggard. 

“Oi! Quiet it down! This old man needs to sleep, alright?” Sojiro says and then pauses to take in the room that he has seen little of since Ren moved in. “I don’t know what you kids are up to, but Takemi-sensei’s lookin’ for you,” he says to an embarrassed Morgana,” and I’m sure the kid’s had a long day of you and your bird squawking around him. You two can go back to...whatever you’re doing tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sorry, Boss,” Mona says, offering an arm for Marion to land on and reaching for his bag with the other.

“You’re fine, kid, just let sensei know where you are every once and awhile. Parents get worried, y’know?” Sojiro says with a fond smile and a hand behind his neck.

“Yes, sir,” Morgana nods. Behind him, Futaba coos at Sojiro’s words.

“And, you, young lady, need to get to bed too,” Sojiro points to Futaba and puts on a strict tone to cover his embarrassment, “If you don’t fix your sleep schedule now, you’re gonna be a mess when school starts back up again.”

“Aww, Sojirooooooo…” Futaba whines, “But I live here!”

“Yes, but this is his space, so you got to let him have it. You guys have done a lot for him recently, but you know he needs some time alone just like you did, alright? Besides, it’s late and you need to take your meds.”

“...Message received,” Futaba mumbles, turning to look back at Ren, “Good night! Don’t die!”

“Bye, Ren, see you tomorrow!” Morgana says. He leaves the room with a chuckling Sojiro on his tail and a chittering Futaba by his side.

When Morgana and Marion make it to the Yongen-Jaya streetlevel, they breathe in the humid air together with contemplative silence. All the nearby shops and izakayas have long been closed for the night and few pedestrians are about on the streets. Mona can hear fewer cars from the highway above the streets than usual and he tries to take in the rare loudness of his footsteps on the pavement. He passes a baffled business man as he walks under the light of the apartment-slash-clinic building where he and Takemi live, the light illuminating the calm crow perched on his shoulder. Unperturbed by the stranger, Mona carries on to the stairs to the building elevator, more worried about the notifications he sees from Takemi on his phone. He knew he was out late, but really this late?

I’m coming up right now, He types with both hands, waiting for the slow ass elevator to come down.

He gets a ping almost right away, and he expects it to be Takemi, but he is delightfully surprised to see a message from Ren on the groupchat.

Its Joke: futaba ill be good tmrw

Its Joke: i mean how bad can a student council president and a private school kid be?

The Gay Panther: Thats the spirit!! ♪(ﾟ▽^*)ﾉ⌒☆

‘Science class hazard’: you speak big little man!

Mama’s boy 101: hey its not like im stuck up or anythng!

Ass Kicker 3000: I’m glad you’re all excited but please go to sleep 

The messages continue even after Makoto’s plea, but Morgana puts his phone away and steps into the rickety elevator with a fond shake of his head.

Marion, who had been looking over Morgana’s shoulder, looks up to Morgana’s face and says, “You are all children.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mona yawns, pushing down on Marion’s head with a teasing hand. “That’s what we have you for.”

[canisaymypiece]

Michael Has A Problem

Tags: Michael/Jake (unrequited), Rich/Jake (unrequited), Aro Jake, yeah you weren’t expecting that huh bitches, Pining, Panic Attacks, Hurt No Comfort, tw suicidal thoughts, tw self harm mention, oof, this fic actually made me think about aro Jake and I gotta say it’s grown on me, there’s not enough pain in the pins and patches tag and it’s time I fix that, I don’t even ship this i just need characters to project on

______

It was a few months after The Play, and Michael had a problem.

A tall, muscular, good-looking, very cool and very, very aro problem.

Jake had come out about a week after the Squipcident had gone down, explaining that he’d never really felt different about dating people, and that it was actually really awkward. Apparently, Christine had introduced him to the idea while they had been dating, and he’d thought about it before landing on it as something he identified with. Everyone was supportive- although Chloe and Jeremy had needed a quick vocab lesson- and now it was common knowledge throughout the school.

Jake Dillinger was aromantic. Which meant he wasn’t interested in dating.

Which would be fine, if not for one thing.

Jake was hot.

Jake was hot, and Michael was weak, weak, weak.

It all started during a lunch period, where Jake and Rich had been joking around about how desirable Jake was.

“Yeah, man!” he’d said, “My goal is to get like, super flirty with anyone, and then I’ll just laugh in their face because they can’t have me!”

“Totally, yeah,” Rich had replied. “All, like, ‘pff, you can’t touch this man!’” And then, for some damned reason, Jake had turned and poked Michael, diverting his attention from the marble racing video he’d been watching.

“Sup, babe?” Jake had said, turning up the sex in his voice to an 11 from the constant 3 it was at and seeming to emanate sparkles. Michael‘s response was extremely dignified: choking on his slushie and turning a very impressive shade of red.

Jake had laughed, and turned to Rich, and they’d both laughed, and Michael, once it had been explained to him, laughed too.

And began to engage in his favorite pastime outside of video games and murdering supercomputer overlords: repressing his feelings.

He refused to acknowledge how he felt when he saw Jake taking his shirt off for gym. Complimenting him on his hair? Totally a normal bro thing to do. Missing him when he had to go do other things during lunch? He missed everyone when they didn’t show up to lunch. He definitely didn’t miss Jake Dillinger a lot more, no way.

It all fell apart one night, in the group chat. Jake had been making some stupid comment on how he’d had to struggle with being half-blind (he wore contacts?? Who knew) his whole life. Michael barely managed to type out a ‘same’ before he had to call for help.

To SMOLdering_bi: save my gay ass pls

From SMOLdering_bi: no

To SMOLdering_bi: bihh you don’t even know what from

From SMOLdering_bi: whats wrong man

Michael took a deep breath and held it before typing his next message.

To SMOLdering_bi: im having vv gay feelings for Jake and im struGgling

Well, it was out there now. Nothing he could do. No backsies. No denying it.

Maybe he could delete the message before Rich texted ba- oh god Rich already texted back.

From SMOLdering_bi: lol same

To SMOLdering_bi: Rich this is s e r i o u s

To SMOLdering_bi: ive been feeling things for him and he’s aro and i need to st o p

From SMOLdering_bi: dude me for y e a r s

Wait. What?

To SMOLdering_bi: wait, what seriously

From SMOLdering_bi: why did YOU think my squip repressed my bi

From SMOLdering_bi: i had already been doing it

To SMOLdering_bi: oh god how do i survive

From SMOLdering_bi: you don’t lol

From SMOLdering_bi: idk repress your feelings

From SMOLdering_bi: just try to be better at it than me lol

Right. Because Rich had been doing this for years, so he should be able to, too.

Rich had been holding back his feelings for years, and here Michael was, trying to get sympathy and advice from him, when all he’d really done was make Rich think about something he didn’t want to think about and oh god he’s a terrible selfish friend.

Michael doesn’t respond to Rich’s message. Jake says something in the groupchat. Rich types something back, sarcastic and casual. Michael can’t do that, he won’t be able to keep his stupid emotions out of anything he types now that he’s acknowledged them like an idiot.

He’s silent for a while, feeling the grief roll over him. No one notices that he doesn’t reply to anything in the chat. Why would they? It’s not like anyone cares. Why would they care about some selfish bastard who can’t keep it in his pants long enough to reply to one of his friends? He can’t believe he asked Rich for help when Rich has been doing this for years, it’s not like he deserves to have a crush on Jake anyway, Jake doesn’t need him for anything. Rich and Jake would be great together, except it won’t happen, cause Jake is aro, the bastard, but that’s rude and arophobic and Michael can’t just wish for someone’s sexuality to change because of his own emotions towards that person, and yeah it’s not like Jake is ace, but that sure won’t be happening either, cause Jake still has girls throwing themselves at him, and he probably has Rich too, or would if he asked, and he’s not gonna ask Michael, who he’s barely known for a few months and who no one wants or cares about anyway.

Michael can feel his breaths speeding up, the lightheadedness spreading, the tears starting to form in his eyes, and he lets the panic attack engulf him because no one’s around to care. Yeah, his parents are upstairs, but they’re talking business. Jeremy is busy, on a date with Christine, so he’s out of the picture, and he’s already taken so much out of Rich, and normally he’d look to Jake for help, but he can’t, not when Jake and his stupid need for validation and love from him is literally exactly what he’s stressing about. He lets his breaths speed to an unhealthy rate and lets the tears fall from his eyes and gives in to the voices in his head.

Freak.

Loser.

Unwanted.

No one loves you.

No one would notice if you just died.

Needy.

Failure.

Selfish.

Worthless.

Can’t even talk to his friends without crying, what a piece of garbage.

He wants, oh he wants but he doesn’t deserve anything.

You’re a burden.

You don’t even know what you’re doing with your life.

You’ll never amount to anything.

You’re just a waste of space.

Do you think anyone would notice if you killed yourself?

You and Jake are gonna hang out tomorrow, you selfish freak, stealing him away from someone who deserves to have him, even if they can’t.

Think he’d notice if you showed up with bleeding arms?

If you said it was a cat, would he know you don’t even have one?

You could love literally anyone else and you choose to love the one person who won’t love you back, what kind of idiot are you?

Don’t blame this on him, you can only blame yourself.

It’s your fault for loving him.

It’s your fault for everything.

It’s.

All.

Your.

Fault.

The weight on his chest and the pain in his heart is so bad that Michael can’t bring himself to lift his head from where it’s fallen, to look at his phone, to see what’s happening.

He cries himself to sleep that night after snapping one of his rubber bands against his arms until it breaks.