#my stuffs already gotten lazier and lazier

[parab0mb]

I wanna change something about my artwork but I don't know what exactly and it's honestly been frustrating me for like months now.

[pastelavender88]

Sinbound- Chapter 11

Summary: It’s been a month since the events of the last chapter: Eddie and Buck are on the outs and Buck’s family is back in town; Something major happens to Y/n.

Warning: Talks of miscarriage.

Series Masterlist

It’s been a month since Eddie and I broke up. It was touch and go for a while. The night of the breakup I asked for 2 hours. It doesn’t take 2 hours to basically pick up your whole life. Alex and I took all our clothes and toiletries but we still had to come back and get the rest of our things. I decided it would be best to leave all the baby’s stuff there, but excluding that I still had a ton of things. Bobby and Athena served as the buffer between Eddie and I. Athena would text me to tell me that Bobby told her Eddie and Christopher would be out of the house from 12-4 pm and stuff like that. Eddie and I still haven’t spoken since that night even though he tried. He gave me a good 2 days before he was blowing up my cell and trying to talk and work things out, but I was serious when I meant Eddie and I were done. The betrayal still keeps me awake at night if I let my mind wander enough and the events starting on the night in question and the big blow up play in my head like a movie. Alex and I moved in with Buck for the time being while I figured out the next step in our lives. Buck was more than happy to welcome us and he’s been accommodating in any way he can. He’s been going with me to my doctor appointments, driving me around a lot since I’ve gotten a little bigger and lazier to do it myself, and even taking a parenting class with me. Even though I had Alex already a lot of things have changed in the last 12 years.  Speaking of all the things Buck is doing for me, Eddie is quite pissed at him because of it. Also, the fact that Buck is the one that told me about Eddie’s infidelity. So everything has been quite an adjustment. It was morning and Buck was off today so that meant family breakfast. Which was really more me cooking whatever I was craving and everyone being too lazy to complain or make anything else. Today was chicken, waffles, spicy syrup, bacon, eggs, and french toast. (Don’t judge but I craved this my whole pregnancy.) Buck came down from the room and sat at the table. The reason I call it the room is because technically it’s both Buck and I’s room. See Buck only has two rooms in his loft but the other room is Alex’s and it’s not exactly big enough to share. So Buck and I share the room in the sense that both of our things are there like clothes, shoes, jewelry, little things like that. Buck did buy a couch though, so that way he has something to sleep on. Right now Buck was trying to convince me to go with him and Alex to pick up his parents later. “They would love to see you. I mean it’s been over a year since they last saw you.” “Yeah and since then I got knocked up and then left a single mom. Again.” “True, but you look really cute pregnant and they haven’t seen this glow.” He said, as he pointed his fork at me. “That may be the case but seriously I’m not up for that yet.” Buck could tell my mood was becoming somber, so he let it go. “Alright. Did I tell you guys what happened yesterday at work? Some guy’s kids buried him in the sand and splashed water on him when a freak flash of lightning hit and turned the sand into glass. It was insane.” “Buck I’m trying to eat.” “Mom, that's actually really cool and mother nature at work. What did that guy say in that really old dinosaur movie ‘life always finds a way’. Life is science.” ���Did she just call Jurassic Park a really old movie?” I asked Buck. I turned to Alex. “That movie came out the year I was born for your info.” “How do you think I feel? I’m older than you by two years.” Buck joked. The conversation kept flowing from there and eventually it was time to clean up and start the day. Since the break up with Eddie I haven’t really been writing much so my day usually centers around Buck and Alex. I felt like a 50’s housewife. After making sure everyone had everything they needed for their day I would tidy the house, wash dishes, do laundry. It was a feminist nightmare but I was so numb I didn’t really care. I’ve been seeing a therapist but it didn’t help as much as I thought it would. Most people describe therapy as this life-altering interaction but for me it felt like when you were called to the guidance counselor in school about bullying or something. Like I was put on the spot. Don’t get me wrong there was improvement but I just didn’t feel satisfied or “fixed” in a sense. We dived into my relationship issues a lot and I understand what Eddie was saying. The “relationship” that Buck and I had while Eddie and I were still together was emotional cheating, which proved my point. We were bad for each other. Eddie and I both rushed into this relationship after commitment issues on both sides, so we were destined for doom. Either way the pain inside of me from his affair with Ana wasn’t going away because I know that what I did didn’t warrant that. Instead of breaking it off or establishing clear boundaries, Eddie decided that cheating was the best route. So here I am feeling like less than a person over a toxic relationship we both should have some coming to an end. Buck’s POV Since Y/n didn’t want to come with me I was forced to suffer with my parents alone. It was worth it since Albert was there. “Uh, Albert, hey, check this out.” I showed Albert Y/n’s ultrasound picture. It was so cool to be a part of this process and I couldn’t help but show it off. “You brought more than takeout.” Albert replied, “Well, uh, Chimney didn't tell you?” “Yeah, that I've been gone less than a year and you're a father again? No.” God I hope my parents didn’t hear that. “Uh, no, not-not exactly.” “But that's a…” Albert started. “Baby. Buck...?” My mom was suddenly standing behind me. “Is there something you need to tell us? You're gonna be an uncle again!” My mom shouted as she jumped to conclusions. “Phillip! Maddie and Howard are gonna have another baby!” My mom yelled as she went to hug Chimney. “What?” Chim asked, confused. “That's fantastic! I had a feeling when you bought this house.” My dad replied. “I mean, it's a little soon to be pregnant again, but... Why not?!” Mom said. “This is very good news, Howard. Why didn't you tell us sooner? “ Chimney’s stepmom asked. “Uh, guys... Guys, we're... not pregnant.” He said. “You're not?” Mom asked. “No.” “Then who is?” Mom asked as she turned to me. “That’s what I was trying to say. Y/n is pregnant again. It’s a girl.” “You and Y/n are having another baby?” My dad asked. “No, mom is having a baby with Eddie.” Throughout all the confusion, everyone forgot Alex was sitting at the table on her tablet. “But, they're not together anymore so we're living with dad.” “Okay, let’s not deepdive into it. Give your mom some privacy.” When we got home it was time for a talk about privacy. “So Y/n and living with you while she’s pregnant with another man’s baby?” My dad asked. “And you’re going to help raise the baby?” “It's not like that. We’re not together, I’m just helping her while she figures a few things out. Also, if she wants of course I’ll help raise the baby but we haven’t thought that far ahead. We’re taking things day-by-day.” The way everyone except Maddie, Chimney, and Alex were looking at me I could tell they had a lot to say. “I think it's…” My mom started. “Here we go. “ I knew I was about to get an earful. “Great.” She finished. That shocked me. “Uh, yeah?” “You’re a wonderful father to Alex and I know if you need to be you’ll be a wonderful father to this little girl as well.” Dad replied. “Not only are you a good father but you’re a good man.” My mom said as she stepped towards me for a hug. I wrapped my arms around her. “Here. Dad, you want to see?” I said showing him the sonogram “Oh, absolutely.”  He said as he took the phone from me. “Phillip. You are going to allow this?” Howie’s dad asked. “It's not really for me to allow.” Dad replied. “A man cannot raise a child fathered by another man, it's unnatural.” Howie’s father reiterated. “Says the expert in child-rearing, huh? I would think you would relate to Buck's decision. Father them and let someone else raise them.” “Howie.” Albert explained. “Whoa, Chim. It's-it's okay.” I said. “A man who cannot control his family is not a man.” Howie’s dad added to already building tension. “Maybe a man who's too controlling forces his sons to hide from him in another country.” My dad fired back. “Okay, easy. Come on, Dad.” I said. “Children need to learn that actions have consequences.” “I'm sorry, but how is any of this your business?” my mom asked Howie’s dad. “He did announce it to everyone.” Albert’s mom said. ‘Well, that wasn't exactly my choice.” I said, making it clear. “It was a bad choice.” “My dad helping out my mom wasn’t a bad choice, you’re just mean.” Alex called out. “Alex. Honey, you can not talk to adults like that.” “See this is exactly what I am talking about. Your child has no manners and you plan to raise another?” “Oh, that's rich.” My dad replied yet again, kicking everything off. Everyone started to argue until due to a storm the lights went out.   “Buck, grab some candles, we got the doors”. Howie called me. As mom played with Jee and Alex, Maddie and I talked. “I think maybe Albert was right.” I said to Maddie. “Oh, I wouldn't say that out loud.” “Ever think about what it might've been like...?” “What?” “If Daniel had lived.” I asked her. “Yeah, sometimes.” “You?” Just then the lights came back on and everyone was relieved. “I think it would've been just like this.” Y/n’s POV (Think of this happening at the same time as Buck’s) I was sitting on the couch after cleaning when I heard a knock on the door. “Did you forget your key or something Buck?” I swung open the door and there stood Eddie. I crossed my arms and clenched my fists tight. The nerve he had to show up here. “What are you doing here Eddie?” “I’m here to talk to you. You haven’t spoken to me in a month. At least not without a third party being involved. I haven’t gone to any of your appointments since then.” “You barely went before so what’s the difference?” “Y/n, how long are we going to do this? Huh? Are we gonna be those parents that drag their kids through hell?” “Don’t do that. I can’t do this right now.” “So when are we going to do this? Talk things out?” “I don’t know Eddie. It’s only been a month.” “We need to talk about this.” “No. I need time. Time away from you. I’ll tell you when I’m ready to talk to you.” I went to shut the door on Eddie but he put his hand there to stop it. “I miss you Y/n. Christopher missed you.” “I miss Christopher too. He’s more than welcome over here, because you’re pissed with Buck you won’t let him over here.” Eddie was quiet. “Eddie, I want to move forward but I need to do it at my own pace. The way you’re behaving isn’t helping.  I mean I feel like you aren’t even sorry.” “I am sorry. I will always be sorry for what I did. Not only because I hurt you but because I destroyed everything we built when I did it. I’m so sorry Y/n.” “I hear you Eddie I do, but I still need time. Okay?” “Alright. I’ll go. I love you y/n.” I still loved Eddie but I didn’t know if I was in love with him anymore. “Goodbye, Eddie.” Time went on and eventually Buck came home. “Hey, where’s Alex?” “She’s spending the night at Maddie and Chim’s house.” “I thought the house wasn’t done and what clothes is she going to wear?” “Our daughter is a sneaky one. She put her clothes in my truck along with a sleeping bag. How am I supposed to say no to that?” “I’m sure it’s really easy but she’s got you wrapped around her finger.” “Yeah, she does.” Buck came and sat down beside me on the couch. “So it’s just the two of us tonight, what are we doing? “I was thinking of doing something a little risky…” “Oh really?” “Oh yeah.” “How risky we talking?” “Oh you know, I’m gonna change and slip into something a little more comfortable, and then…” “Then what?” “We’re gonna eat so much ice cream our guts explode and watch trashy reality tv.” “Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Buck said. We’d always had that joking relationship that could be borderline sexual but now that we actually live together the sexual part was definitely a no-no. “I’ll be back.” I went upstairs to change. “What kind of ice cream we doing tonight, Rocky road or fudge?” “Ooh, let’s do a rocky road tonight.” I started to change when I felt a warm sensation in my pants. I looked down at my now ruined pants and noticed blood. I carefully rushed down the stairs. Buck was facing away from me but heard me come down the stairs. “You changed already, that was fast.” He turned around and saw my expression. “What’s the matter?” “I’m bleeding.” I could tell Buck wasn’t catching on to what I was saying. “Like down there.” Buck became a panicked nervous mess. “Oh my god! Okay. Let me grab my shoes and my keys and we’ll throw you in the car.” Before I could say anything he darted off. He looked around the front door and then made his way into the living room. “Where are my shoes? Where are my keys?” “Buck calm down. Your keys are on the hook and your shoes are in the room. I’m gonna put on a pad and change, while I’m doing that, call Dr.Manning.” “Alright.” I went into the room changed and put on a pad in case of more bleeding. When I came back down, Buck was waiting on me. “Dr.Manning is going to meet us at the hospital.” “Okay.” We made our way downstairs and got into the car when I realized I forgot to call Eddie. I went to reach my phone and couldn’t find it. “Buck, can you call Eddie? I left my phone inside the loft.” “Yeah of course.” Buck called Eddie but it went straight to voicemail. “Hey Eddie, I’m taking Y/n to the hospital to see Dr.Manning. Call me back when you get this,” He hung up and turned towards me. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?” “No, I'm doing okay, just the bleeding.” I was trying to keep a leveled head but my mind was racing. It was going to places I didn’t want it to go. “You know when I was pregnant with Alex I had a scare kind of like this. I was in the hospital for 2 days. They said her heart rate was low and there was a chance I could lose her. What if I lose this baby Buck?” My tears were threatening to spill from my eyes. Buck grabbed my hand and caressed it.“Don’t think like that. We’re going to see Dr.Manning and she’s going to tell us that that beautiful baby girl of yours is okay and whatever is happening is probably normal, okay?” “Okay. Thanks Buck.” “Of course.” He said as he kissed my hand. Buck and I arrived at the hospital where Dr.Manning was waiting. She ushered us into the ultrasound room and began to take a sonogram. “Okay, let’s take a look.” She moved the wand around and I saw how she squinted at the screen. “Here’s the baby right here. Let’s hear this heartbeat.” She moved over and I heard her heartbeat. It sounded good or at least I think. “That’s a strong and healthy heart beat right there.” I let out a relieved breath. She moved the wand around more until she stopped at this big blob. “Okay, here’s the problem. You’re suffering from Placenta previa. It’s when the placenta completely or partially covers the opening of the uterus. How bad was the bleeding?” “If I was on my period I would say it’s a light flow.” “And are you still bleeding now.” “No, I don't feel anything.” “I’m gonna keep you here for the rest of the night and monitor everything. In the morning I’ll let you know whether or not you’ll be discharged. Let me just say since it’s your second child it’s more than likely gonna resolve itself. What’s your birthing plan?” “I planned on doing a vaginal birth.” “Okay. We’re going to do more appointments than usual and if this resolves itself we can go ahead with that plan. If not we’re going to have to do a c-section delivery. Okay?” “Alright.” “Dad is more than welcome to stay if he would like. I’m going to make sure a room is prepared and ready for you. Let me know if you need anything.” I didn’t feel like correcting her about Buck in any way. “Okay.” She departed the room and Buck and I sat there almost as if we were waiting on the other person to say something first.” “Do you want me to stay with you?” Buck said, breaking the silence. “Only if you’d like to.” “Of course I would. Do you want me to go home and get anything?” “No I’m okay. It’s just for the night right?” “Right.” Soon a nurse came and brought us to the room we would be staying in for the night and we got comfortable. Sometime throughout the night the anxiety left me and before I knew it I was asleep. I was awoken by a nurse and Dr. Manning coming in. Buck was already awake. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” “I’m fine. Just nervous to be honest.” “Well I have good news, we found nothing concerning while monitoring you over night so that means you can go home. We’ll be having more frequent visits but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” “That’s great thanks doc.” Buck replied. “Just doing my job, but this does mean a few things. No moderate or strenuous exercise, heavy lifting, standing for long periods of time and sadly no sexual intercourse or sexual activity that could lead to orgasm. At least until the baby is born.” I wanted to dig a hole so deep and crawl in it. “Any followup questions?” “Nope, I’m good. You got any, Y/n?” Buck replied with a grin. “She’s covered everything. Thanks, we’ll be out of your hair now.” Dr. Manning said her goodbyes to us, leaving alone to brew in the awkwardness. “No sex until the baby gets here. Well I guess there’s no point in you living with me anymore.” I believe that was Buck’s bad attempt at a joke. “Haha, so funny. Besides it’s mostly if the issue doesn’t resolve itself I think.” I don’t know why I answered like it was a serious possibility. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.” I quickly made my way out of the room in order to avoid talking about this any further.

[indigo-villin]

So the minecraft mob vote and LIVE are nearly upon us (voting starts the 13th and LIVE is on the 15th), so I'm gonna say my vote this year round....

No.

I will not vote.

I was initially going to vote the armadillo (cause dog armor), but when I realized that I was completely forgetting to look at the three as mobs and not items I had completely forgotten to look at them as living creatures in the game. I refuse to vote when their each great as mobs and would fit the game nicely.

We've been told for years "oh these mobs are going to the vault to eventually get re-added at some point with some changes" and that just...hasn't happened.

Yes we're getting the biomes from those votes, but they're only so much content, and SOOO MUUUCH gets removed/not included (fireflies in the swamp, blaze boss for the nether). We've been told "oh the loser will show up at some point". And is that really a selling point? All it does it get everyone to vote like rabid dogs and foam at the mouth when each mob loses. We've lost about 12 mobs already, and we'll be losing about 14 by the end of this LIVE...

I know I don't talk much about stuff, especially this, but seriously Mojang, Microsoft, whoEVER is making the decisions on this game have been progressively getting lazier/clearly have lost their passion. And it sucks to see, we've seen SOOO MANNYYY amazing ideas, and they LITERALLY hired a modder to be on the team, but nothing. In the past couple years what have we gotten?

We got caves and cliffs pt 1 and pt 2(which added some mobs, and made mountains bigger), we got the "wild" update (which was more the end city update with a side of swamp biome), and now trails and tales (the "explore everything or get nothing" update that....well honestly it doesn't help anyone in older saves who have explored their worlds previously). "We want every update to add things to new and old worlds alike" but you can't retroactively add things to chests that have been looted, nor can you re-haul biomes people populate constantly (or they've seen apparently? Or does that only effect chunks not seen by you often?), ALSO there are seeds that DON'T update completely/get everything.

Yeah you read right, there are seeds that CAN'T add everything when you load a new save of them. I'll give an example, this seed: 7360393597478526904

This seed has a mushroom island a chunk or two away from spawn, it starts right next to an oak based village and a broken nether portal within a certain distance of spawn (just far enough for average pov to not see), it has a glacier biome near the end of the chunk/within the very next one, a shipwreck just barely into the waters RIGHT next to spawn, and SEVERAL water temples (Also used to have a woodland mansion, but since 1.18 I'm not sure it has it anymore...). BUT it doesn't have an end city, never spawns, when you use location cheats you're sent to an empty area of the world, surrounded by the tunnels and some large open areas here and there, but not the city. I've looked, I've gone several chunks away from spawns and tried, same result. Oh also the end portal is about 2-5 chunks away from spawn (I vaguely know how big a chunk is), but I won't explain that one any more specifically.

[a-man-named-shang]

Write your RPer Resolutions for 2024! (What are some goals for yourself as a writer? Improve descriptions? Plot with more members? Etc.)

Plot with more people! I get really awkward about this, and sometimes when I’m more stressed out or bone deep wiped from working with kids I don’t follow through on things I definitely want to follow through on. So this year I am determined to plot with more people and make more connections for the muses. Because everyone is doing such cool things with their writing and I want to connect with them.

Descriptions - I am still not the best at these. I need to practice a bit more on actually describing places around my characters and some details to enrich a thread. I want to make my posts a little deeper. Maybe I gotta do what I did in the past and look at some more examples of descriptions and get inspired that way. I just want to improve as a writer and I think I’ve slacked a lot and gotten a bit lazier.

Self Paras - I want to get in the depths of my characters and their backgrounds this year. I wrote two sort of one shots for Tad - his uncle’s perspective and then his thing with his parents. I want to do more stuff like that and make my muses characterizations deeper.

A Big Plot - I did one once with Arthur and it felt really satisfying to tell a story that involved a bunch of people and created a fun direction for the rp to go into. I would love for a chance to do one again, though idk how or when I will do something like it again.

Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)

Tad - My goal for Tad is to have him realize what his major will be. I’ve finally figured out what direction I want to go there, so now it’s all about getting him to the point where he actually can choose that major and go forward with his studies. I want to get him excited about that and the direction his life can take him.

Shang - I want to have him fall in love with the town more and really get attached. I want him to have a nice romance. He’s the kind of guy who will really try to be a gentleman and pull out chairs and all that. I want that for him. But I also want his biwakening to happen this year. I’m not sure how to go about it yet but I do have that in my mind as things I want to happen.

Tink - This is the year of chaotic mess. I am having Tink mess around and meet with anyone who gives her attention and I don’t care how wild it gets. I want her to really dive deep in the regretful behavior. I also do have a goal to get her involved with the Hollow more. I just haven’t figured out how to approach it yet or have her approach the other fairies.

Finn - My goal is to involve him in college social groups. I’m already starting the process to get him involved there, but I just want to be sure I follow through! I am determined to get him to experience a lot of the college things.

Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?

Tad - Tad wants to patch things up with Hiro and Pip. He also wants to figure out what he wants to do with his life. He feels restless and he wants to work out how to change that. He wants to figure out what his dream is.

Shang - Shang wants to find out what truly happened to his father. He also wants to work out the issues with the company. Figure out what the next steps will be if his father doesn’t reappear.

Tink - Tink wants to be successful! She wants to do something great that she can brag about in the Hollow!

Finn - His resolution is to reconnect with his friends and to try to grow even more as a person.

List one or more characters you have never interacted with that you would like to do so

Lightning - I don’t have any sort of plot idea or anything, but I love Lightning and the energy he gives off and I’d love an opportunity to have one of mine interact with mine. Somehow in some way.

Clarion - She is the Queen, and I am definitely curious about the dynamic that she and Tink would have. I just imagine some friction since Tink is the way she is, but idk. I’d definitely like to know.

The Madrigals - truly any of them. I don’t think I’ve had much of a chance to interact with any of them other than Isabela. But I’d love for that to change. Idk with who or how but I’d like that.

Milo - I want to bother him with Tad. Truly I do. I also just want to write with him! With Tad or anyone else. Gimme a chance at writing with Milo man.

Angel - another case of a character I like that I don’t really have any ideas for plotting…just yet.

Talk a bit about your plotting style – what plots are you most drawn to? Do you prefer to come with a fully-formed idea and plot off that, or throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks?

It honestly kind of depends. Sometimes I have a solid idea or a direction and I hit up the person that I think could help me go in that direction. A lot more times I throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks. It really depends on the muse. With Shang it’s more directed. I know he needs to figure stuff out with his dad so it has a general direction I know where to go.

With Tad it’s much more flexible and open. I’m sort of happy to go with the flow of things that come up. Or I’m also more willing to toss out a wild direction like for New Years. Tink similarly right now is me tossing out some fun things.

I’m really drawn to I guess characters with a lot of self-doubt. Or things that they’re really stuck on thinking they’re not good at. With Tad he thinks he’s dumb, Tink thinks she’s a total failure, Finn thinks he’s too socially awkward. Shang might be the only one who really knows himself (or thinks he does anyway).

Family dynamics! I haven’t been able to really dive into a plot like that but I’m planning for that in this coming year once I figure a few things out. I love the tension and bond of siblings, loved it a lot with the Mallards when I wrote Louie and want to do it again with another family group.

Talk a bit about character relationships – what relationships are you most drawn to? How do you prefer to approach shipping (if at all!)? What, specifically, are you looking for right now for your character relationships?

I really love found family stories. Maybe it’s because my own family has had a lot of issues with each other and toxicity (that we’re now healing from yay), but I’ve always been drawn into that. Tad and Finn especially let me explore that with their close friendships, and with the messiness of their actual families. I love the deep bonds friends can have.

I also really love romance in stories. It doesn’t have to be an otp situation. It can be a messy fling, it can be a one time chaotic affair. I just like exploring things that do go into feelings and romance in some type of way. I love faking dating plots, I love marriages that start fast and end fast and messy. I love the drama of those connections that are imperfect.

I am open to all ships and all possibilities for my characters. I don’t feel the need to rush it or anything, but I am willing to plan things out if characters have that spark of chemistry. You know? I’m happy to be open to any potential of a ship. I do get a little nervous about reaching out to someone if I feel there is a vibe, but I want to try to do it. But if anyone feels that energy with one of mine, please lmk because it’s always possible I’m feeling it too and am kinda like ahhh how to say this. But yeah I’m also open to different types of ships so if people want to go a direction for a short while too I’m all for that.

Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #3 and plan a rough guideline to how you could accomplish it.

Tad figuring out his major!

TAD is convinced to go to a career day by PHINEAS.

TAD gets overwhelmed by all the options and ditches halfway through to hang out with Hiro.

HIRO goes through something and Tad tries to comfort him.

TAD has a brain blast and chooses [redacted].

[ah-ga-seven]

Till’ The End of Summer - Chapter 6

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 7K. (She’s a bit longer.)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smuttish content.

Idol Cameos: Ateez Wooyoung.

Warnings: sexy stuff.

A/N: English isn’t my first language, pls don’t come for me ;)

Soobin felt lazier than usual. Being the homebody that he is, he decided against any physical or social activities for the night. Tae, Gyu, and Hueningkai were out and about doing god knows what and Mia went home for the week to spend time with her family.  

He had hoped to spend some time with you but you blew him off earlier today, as did Yeonjun.

Soobin wasn’t quite sure what was going on with Yeonjun but aside from the fact that he was only home to sleep and shower for the past week, it seemed like Yeonjun was genuinely happy.

He was upbeat and smiley whenever he did see him. It’s not like this was unlike Yeonjun’s usual behavior but the level of intensity had increased and Soobin couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Soobin’s tall figure was taking up all of the space on the couch as he watched a movie, cuddled up in blankets and surrounded by pillows while the only source of light came from the TV. The heavy rain from outside was acting as a form of ASMR, making Soobin’s eyelids grow heavier and heavier by the minute.

He was about to doze off before he heard the front door open. Soobin perked his head up, watching a drenched Yeonjun close the door behind him, turning on the lights, not realizing that Soobin was on the couch.

Soobin swore he heard Yeonjun sniff which made him sit up immediately, his face full of worry as Yeonjun passed through the living room to get to his bedroom with a blank expression on his face.  He didn’t even notice Soobin yet, his mind too occupied with thoughts he wished he didn’t have.

“Hyung?” Soobin cooed, his eyes following Yeonjun’s moping state through the living room.

Yeonjun’s head snapped into Soobin's direction in shock and his eyes grow in size a little, feeling like he got caught.

Soobin indifferently bit his lip, getting up from the couch. He couldn’t see the difference between either the raindrops or teardrops on Yeonjun’s cheeks, so he had to get closer to confirm.

“Yeonjun hyung…” Soobin's voice was soft as he carefully approached, realizing that he was indeed crying.

Yeonjun felt like he was glued to the floor, frozen in place and unable to move, but as Soobin got closer to him, he breaks.  

Soobin facial expression shifted from worry to shock in a heartbeat as he wrapped the older one into a tight hug, letting him weep on his shoulder.

The boys have been through a lot together, and this is definitely not the first time Soobin has seen Yeonjun cry, but it was never as heartbreaking and unbearable to watch as this. Yeonjun’s sobs were drenched with pain and sorrow. The noises being muffled as he buried his face on Soobin’s shoulder.

“H-hyung what's going on, you’re making me worried,” Soobin says as he lightly pats Yeonjun’s back in order to calm him down. He had no idea what was going on but knew that whatever it might be, it’s not to be taken lightly.  

Yeonjun let go of Soobin, throwing his head back as he tries to sniff his tears back into his head. Soobin cautiously lingered around him, in case his emotions would erupt again. He rubbed his back in up and down motions. Waiting for Yeonjun to calm down enough so he could start explaining what was going on.  

Yeonjun collects himself quickly, leaning against the kitchen counter as he buries his face in his hands.  

He was frustrated with himself. He was frustrated with his tears and frustrated with the fact that Soobin had to see him this way. Vulnerability isn’t something Yeonjun loves to display. Being the oldest of the group and having to take care of himself from a young age made that difficult for him.

But given the distraught look on Soobin’s face, Yeonjun knew he couldn’t just let this go.

They sat at the dinner table together for hours. Talking about anything and everything that resonated with Yeonjun’s childhood. Yeonjun truly poured his whole heart out, sniffing through the tears that were a result of his bottled-up emotions. Of course, Soobin knew of Yeonjun’s estranged relationship with his parents but Yeonjun never told him or the other boys why that is. Neither did Soobin know It bothered him so much due to the fact that Yeonjun never talks about it, or seems upset.  

Soobin couldn’t help but shed a tear or two himself. Knowing that one of his closest friends was going through something like this all by himself was heartbreaking. Though Soobin couldn’t be happier that Yeonjun opened up to him, he wished he knew about this sooner.

All the times that Soobin couldn’t figure out why Yeonjun acted the way he did in some situations became clear as day to him. Even though it isn’t his fault at all, Soobin couldn’t help but blame himself for not being there for Yeonjun more often.  

“I wished you would have told me sooner…” Soobin dabbed his wet eyes with the long sleeves of his shirt as he looked the older one in his eyes.

Yeonjun just nodded, lost in thought while staring into the distance.  

“It’s not something I want to be reminded of, the reason why I decided to live on campus is to be away from it all. This school, the team; it’s a way to forget.”

“What made you want to talk about it now?” Soobin asks cautiously. He didn’t want to make Yeonjun feel like he was pushing him to speak up more. But curiosity was getting the better of him.  

If Yeonjun didn’t feel the need to open up all this time, what changed?

Yeonjun’s eyes dart to Soobin’s equally dark ones.  

Well shit.  

The most important detail that Yeonjun didn’t talk about was you. His brain was running extra hard to come up with the perfect excuse, but he couldn’t think of one fast enough.

“You know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be asking so many questions.”

Yeonjun’s shoulders fell in relief. Not wanting to lie to Soobin in a moment like this.  

“It goes without saying that I won’t tell anyone about this.”

“I know you won’t,” Yeonjun cracks a smile. “Not even to Mia.”  

“Not even to Mia,” Soobin nods.

“That’s so fucking sad,” Mia whines.

“I know,” Soobin huffs, adjusting the phone so he could hear his girlfriend better. “I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone though.”

“Well, I’m basically a part of you so he should’ve known better.”

“But baby, I’m serious. You can’t tell y/n because he will never trust me again if this somehow comes back around to him. Promise me you won’t tell her.”

“I promise,” Mia says, her voice laced with sincerity.  

“Besides it’s not like she cares about him anymore. She hasn’t even mentioned his name since the festival two weeks ago.”  

“I’m glad that’s over before it began. Yeonjun needs to learn how to love himself before he can love anyone else. I really don’t want y/n to be collateral damage to Yeonjuns fucked up mental state,” Soobin says getting comfortable on his bed.  

“Wait…was that too harsh of me to say?” Soobin asks biting his fingernail.

Mia chuckled in response. “You just want the best for both of them, It’s understandable.”

“Ugh I wish you were here with me,” he pouts, earning a giggle from Mia.  “I’ll be back tomorrow night.”

Yeonjun hadn’t texted you the usual I’m home text and it worried you. It was already past 2 AM but you didn’t want to bother him or seem clingy by checking up on him this late.

His Instagram account showed a last seen of 25 minutes ago, meaning he was probably fine, so you decided against contacting him.

You sighed, putting your phone away, ready to close your eyes before you hear your phone buzz on your nightstand. Your eyes shot open wide and you frantically reach for your phone., getting blinded by the brightness of your screen in your dark surroundings.

[Yeonjun, 2:23 AM]: I’m sorry, I forgot to text you. Something came up…

You stare at your screen, unsure of what to write back to him, you thought about what to say for a few minutes, typing and deleting whatever came up in your mind for 4 minutes straight.  You knew it was ridiculous that you were this insecure but you were cautious not to say the wrong thing, given the way he rushed out of your apartment earlier today.

It seemed like Yeonjun had gotten enough of waiting, so he decided to call you instead.

You’re startled at the sound of your ringtone, accepting the call without thinking twice.

“Hi.” His voice was timid and quiet. He sounded sleepy and his voice was a lot cuter than usual.

“Hey…” you greet him with the same tone of voice, a yawn escaping your lips in the process.

The sound made Yeonjun smile to himself, everything you did was adorable to him and he realized that he missed your presence already.

“Is it really stupid and clingy to say that I miss you,” you say shyly, turning yourself on your side so you were more comfortable under your sheets.

Yeonjun smiled at your comment, feeling the exact same way. There was nothing more that he wanted than to hold you close to him right now.

“No, it’s not.” He sighs, stretching his body and putting his arm under his neck for support as he stared at the ceiling.

“If it was up to me, I’d leave and come over again but Soobin basically has me on dog-watch.”  

“Huh, why?”  

“It’s a long story,” Yeonjun says biting his lip, hoping not to throw you off by being mysterious. He just didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“What if I sneak in?” you nervously suggest as you sit up.

“What?”  

“I’ll Uber to you and sneak in… I have Soobin’s spare key in case he lost his own since he always loses his shit. I could literally come in without anyone noticing…”

“I- you’d do that?” Yeonjun says wide-eyed. He was intrigued by your balsiness, and a mischievous grin crept upon his face.

“So that means we’ll be spending the night together?” He bluntly states trying to get you flustered but you huff in response. “You’ll take the floor,” you joke, which earned a sincere laugh from Yeonjun.

“Bet,” he says rolling his eyes.  

His mood shifted to a much brighter one just by talking to you. It was the effect that you had on him. Your funniness and energy worked contagiously, lifting him out of his slump from before. He buried his thoughts about the compatibility of your relationship in the back of his head as he waited for you to respond to him.

The other end of the line stayed silent for a few more seconds and he cocked his eyebrow. “Y/n?”  

“I’m putting on my shoes,” you state as the shuffling noises on your end of the line continue.

Yeonjun couldn’t believe his ears, he thought you were kidding. He should’ve known by now that you’re actually crazy. If the other guys came home at the same time, you’d be busted for sure.  

He swallowed harshly, sitting up in his bed. “Are you sure?”

“I’m on my way.”

You tried to be as silent as humanly possible as you twisted the key in their front door.  

You kept looking over your shoulder, paranoid as fuck that the others could come home at any second. You really didn’t know why you were doing this at the dead of night when you had just seen Yeonjun a few hours ago, but the way he left didn’t sit right with you.  

You wanted to be there for him by being with him, and assure him that when he needed you, that you were there for him. Even if he didn’t ask for it.  

Soobin should be sound asleep since he’s a grandpa, and since it’s past 2 AM, you weren’t too worried, but still. You had to be cautious not to make too much noise which could potentially wake him.

You enter their pitch-black apartment, taking off your shoes at the front door while carrying them with you so the heels of your shoes wouldn’t make any noise on their hard-wooden floor.  

The darkness made it hard to see, but luckily the way to Yeonjun's room was a straight line from the front door.  

You tiptoed your way over, your heart basically pounding in your throat as you slowly twist the door handle to Yeonjun’s bedroom.

Yeonjun was laying on his bed, his arm supporting his head on top of his pillow. He was on his phone but as soon as he heard his door open, and saw you, his eyes widened.

You were dressed in all black, with your hoodie popped looking like you were about to rob him.

When you closed the door behind you and made eye-contact, both of you erupted in silent laughs and giggles.

He got up, wrapping you into his arms as he continued to laugh in your hair quietly.  

“I can’t believe you,” he chuckles as he let go of you, taking a hold of your shoulders to look you in the eyes.  

His eyes were playful and they had a certain amused glisten to them. You melted at the sight of his happy facial expression and sigh.  

“I can’t believe me either,” you giggle.

You take a moment to look around Yeonjun’s room. Their dorm is basically your second home, but you never had a reason to go inside of his room before, until now.

His room was neat, but messy at the same time. Racks filled with clothing and shoes plastered his left wall. The walls were painted in a broken white, while the one where his bed was situated had a dark blue color, making the room look moody yet sophisticated. It wasn’t too big of a space but he made use of it efficiently.  

You situate yourself on his bed, taking a hold of the picture frame on Yeonjun’s nightstand.

You melted at the fact that he had a picture of himself and the boys next to his bed and you couldn’t withhold your adoring noises. “awhhhh, this is so cute of you to do,” you pout up at him teasingly, shaking the frame in front of his face.

He looked at you through hooded eyes, yanking it from your grasp.  

“I’m not cute,” he huffs. “Total manly man.”  

You laugh at his antics as he basically throws himself at you, pinning you down on his bed as he hovers over you, poking your sides in attempt to make you laugh.

You try to be quiet for Soobin’s sake but it was of no use as Yeonjun continued his attack. He muffled your giggles by putting his hand over your mouth as you playfully kicked around and slapped his chest to get him off, he complied when he noticed your lack of being able to breathe, and threw his hands up as a sign of truce.  

He chuckles again as he drops himself down next to you. You sit up, slapping his chest in insincere annoyance as you catch your breath. He whines, rubbing the sore spot with his large hand, acting like he got shot.

“What if someone heard!?” you nag, but Yeonjun just rolls his eyes at you; pulling you down with him so you’re situated on his chest.

He wraps his arms around you and nuzzles his face in your hair, and you instinctively wrap your arms around his waist as well. The two of you just lay there, breathing in each other's scents and enveloping yourselves in each other's warmth for a few minutes before you find yourselves lost in conversation.  

The two of you talked about anything and everything. You noticed how he tried to keep the topics light and airy, nothing too serious or deep. So you just went with it, realizing he was probably doing it on purpose because of the conversation back in your apartment.  

After a while you get up from his bed, stretching your limbs, and walking over to his clothing racks to inspect his coats and shirts. Your eye falls on a leopard print fur coat that was neatly hanging between the less flashy items of clothing. You chuckle while cocking your eyebrow, taking it off the hanger and wrapping it around yourself.

“I didn’t know you had a pet.”  

“You don’t like it?” he flashed you a toothy smile and leaned back to see how the coat engulfed you in its largeness.  

“It’s probably something only you can pull off,” you say in pout as you twirl around in the coat, checking yourself out in the mirror. It was way too large and you knew you looked ridiculous, but you didn’t care. Way too amused with the way it looked on you.

You hear the most dramatic sigh behind you which made you frown and turn around to see Yeonjun looking at you with adoring eyes.

“Why are you literally the most adorable thing,” he says pulling you towards him roughly by the hem of the fur coat.  

You gulp at his sudden dominance and look at him sheepishly.  

“It’s 3.30 AM,” he states out of the blue as he looks at you mischievously.

You give him a questioning look and lean into him. “So?”  

“So…you’re not leaving, are you?”  

“No.”

“So, you’re sleeping with me.”

“….I..well yeah if you don’t mind,” you say tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear.

He scoffed. “If I don’t mind?” he repeats, but then his eyes grow big in realisation, and he starts rambling.

“Wait. You staying over doesn’t mean you need to have sex with me, you know that right. Because I would never push you into anything, you’re not ready for. And I don’t even know how experienced you are, and I’m not saying that you have to be, I’m just-”

“Yeonjun,” you interrupt, shushing him by putting your index finger to his lips.

He looks at you wide-eyed and you chuckle in response. “Shut up.”  

“I mean it y/n. Let’s take something serious for once,' he whines tightening the hold he had on your waist.

“No, let’s not,” you tease him as you straddle him, seductively staring at his lips before you inch closer to his face, softly placing your lips onto his plump ones.  

It was cute to you how worried he was, but the fact of the matter is that you’re not that innocent yourself. You want him, and you don’t really care about the status of your relationship to take this step.  

You’ve been lusting over him since the start of college and now that you have him in the palm of your hands you weren’t just going to waste the perfect opportunity to act on your desires.

You kiss him softly, but the softness disappeared as he melted into the kiss, taking the lead as his hands traveled down to your ass, using it as leverage.  

Something in him wanted to take things slow with you, he wanted to take the brand-newness of your relationship as serious as possible, but he also couldn’t deny that he had been storing away his horniness when around you. Also, the friction of having you straddling him like this didn’t support his philosophy of taking things slowly at all.  

You moan into his mouth and the sound has his mind running wild.

He let himself fall flat to the bed, pulling you with him as you straddled him in a different position.

He tugged at your chin, pulling you in closer while claiming your mouth again, hungrily making his way down your neck with wet open-mouthed kisses as he tugged at your hair in order to give himself full access to the exposed skin of your neck.  

You let out a breathy moan as he finds your sweet spot, making him grin smugly against your skin.

“Enjoying yourself darling?” He teases, which you just nod to in response. Too dazed to give him the real assurance he was looking for.

You were lost for words at how good he was, and how quickly his flustered demeanor shifted to a lust-filled one.  

Your whole body tingled in ecstasy as he wrapped his free hand around your neck while his lips found their way back to yours. His other hand now back on your waist, riding up the hem of your hoodie to dig his nails into your skin.

You moan into his mouth once again, and that just about drives Yeonjun over the edge.  

He basically rips the fur coat off of your frame and swiftly turns you around so your back is now to the bed with him hovering over you.

He pulls up your hoodie, exposing your bra and he buries his face in between your breasts, kissing his way up to your lips again.

"So god damn beautiful," he compliments in between wet kisses, making you moan in response.

He quickly resumes his assault to your mouth and neck, and unknowingly you tug at the waistband of his joggers out of instinct.

He looks down at your hand basically hovering over his crotch and gives you a look of pure mischief. “Someone's needy,” he breathes, giving you a coy smile.

At that, you both hear the front door to their apartment open and he pushes himself off of you immediately, leaving you dazed and entirely too horny to not be annoyed at the interruption.  

“Shit.” Yeonjun huffs as he runs his hand through his hair. “You need to hide.”  

“What? Why?” you say pulling down your hoodie again as you look at him with big eyes.

“My light is on, meaning I’m awake, meaning that Hyuka will probably come into my room to hug me goodnight. It’s a thing he does.” Yeonjun explains as quickly as possible.

Your face contorts from confusion to pure uwu but before you could say anything you already hear a knock on Yeonjun’s door.

“Yeonjun hyung, are you sleeping?” Hueningkai’s voice was clear as day and you look at Yeonjun with wide eyes. Not sure where you should be hiding.

He points at his bed and realise you could easily fit under it. You disappear under his bed at the speed of light and Yeonjun makes his way to his door, nervously looking back to see if you were visible before he opened it with a dramatic swing.

“Hyung, it’s late why aren’t you sleeping” Hyuka says walking into his room, making himself fall onto Yeonjun’s bed with full force.  

You covered your mouth to suppress a yelp as the bed dipped almost to the point where it hit you.

Yeonjun’s eyes grow in size and he pulls Hueningkai off the mattress as fast as he could.

“There was a spider, don’t go on there,” he blurts out, not being able to come up with a better lie.

“Oh, should I grab it for you? Did it go under your bed?” Hyuka almost dropped to his knees to look under the bed before Yeonjun grabbed him, stopping him from moving any further.

“No, it’s okay, hyung will take care of it, go sleep. I’m teaching you how to drive tomorrow remember?”

“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Hyuka says scratching the back of his head while laughing nervously.

“Why am I kind of scared.”  

“Don’t be, if you wreck my car you will have nothing to be scared of, ever again. In your life. Cause it will be over.” Yeonjun jokes, and you put your hand over your mouth to muffle your giggles.

Their relationship was so cute.

Hueningkai laughed a softer version of his obnoxious but adorable laugh and flew into Yeonjun's arms while rubbing his belly. “Okayyyy, got it. Goodnight and good luck with your spider problem.”

Yeonjun smiled, leading the younger one out of his room. “Goodnight honeybee.”  

He closed the door behind him and locked it this time. He walked over to the bed and dropped to the floor, bending his neck to look at you.

“You could just sleep there if you want,” he jokes, flashing his pearly whites at you.

You glare at him. “I can’t believe I had to hide under your bed.”  

He let out a small chuckle and reached out his hand for you to help you get out from under the bed.

You’re surprised by his strength as he was able to pull you out entirely with just one arm. You drop yourself on to his bed, this time exhausted from the subsiding rush of adrenaline.

You yawn covering your face, and Yeonjun notices.

"Are you tired?" he asks patting your head. You slowly nod in response, blinking a couple of times to re-adjust your blurry vision.

Yeonjun smiled at you fondly. "Let's continue what we were doing some other time." he winks and you just grimace at his words, nodding in agreement.

He pulls to covers from underneath you and turns off the light on his nightstand.  

“Move,” he whispers and you comply with a giddy smile, making space for him on the bed.  

He pulled to covers over both of you, spooning you as he holds your hand tightly, resting your intertwined hands to your chest.  The butterflies in your stomach ran wild, this moment is something you fantasized about multiple times, but now that it was happening you weren't sure how to get yourself to calm down.

As if he sensed your rising heartbeat, he kissed your temple. Snuggling his face in your neck while giving you another kiss on your jaw.

“Goodnight,” he whispers, his breath tickling your neck as he speaks.

“Goodnight,” you reply timidly, already dozing off in his hold.

You felt safe, sound, warm, and you hoped he felt the same. You hoped you could give him what he longed for all this time because there was nothing more you want than for him to feel like he could be himself around you.

You wanted to say so much, do so much, but tiredness got the better of you as your eyelids grow heavy, drifting off into nothingness as his hold lulled you to sleep.

Yeonjun had been staring at your sleeping form for the past 10 minutes. He stared at your features. Studying your face. You moved a little making a piece of your hair drape in front of your eyes, which made your nose scrunch up in response.  

Yeonjun suppressed a chuckle and moved the piece of hair out of your face so he could adore you some more.

It was 11 AM and he already heard Soobin and Taehyun's voices from the living room.  

He had no idea how to get you out without them noticing and he also didn’t have the heart to wake you up.

After a few seconds, the comfortable silence was interrupted by loud knocks on Yeonjun’s bedroom door.

“HYUNG, BREAKFAST IS READY.” Taehyun yelled at the top of his lungs, startling Yeonjun and waking you up in a panic at the loud noises.  

Your eyes shoot open in shock, but Yeonjun held on to your waist firmly to keep you from jolting upwards, reminding you of his presence.

“It’s ok” he whispered patting your head, and you relax in an instance.

“NOT HUNGRY,” he yelled back; making you cringe at the loud noise.

You’re not a morning person, which Yeonjun figured as you turned back around to close your eyes.

He let out a sigh shaking your shoulder. “Five more minutes,” you huff, pulling his arm from your shoulder and back around your waist to signal to him that you wanted him to hold you.

Yeonjun however, wasn’t having it.

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for half an hour,” he says unamused, untangling himself from you and ripping the sheets off of you.

You shot him an angry look, burying your face in his pillow and he couldn’t help but chuckle at how cute and moody you were in the morning.  

“We need to figure out how to get you out of the apartment unnoticed.”  he says with his arms crossed, looking at you expectantly.

And suddenly, you’re wide awake. Well shit, you didn’t think that far ahead yet.  

You sit up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“I could jump out the window”  

“This is the 9th floor, you’d die.”

“Problem solved,” you joke.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes at you as he sits back down on his bed.

“Did you sleep well?” he asks caressing your cheek.

You nod sheepishly as you lean into his touch, resting your cheek in his hand. “You?”

“The best sleep I’ve had in a while.” He admits, making you melt.

Yeonjun’s phone buzzed and he looked over, taking it off the charger as he read the message.

“Soobin and Tae are heading out,” he says in surprise. “They’re getting coffee and asked me if I wanted one.”

He shows you the messages. You found your luck hard to believe and squint your eyes reading over the messages a second time.

“If Gyu and Hyuka are still asleep then that’s my chance to escape,” you say excitedly clapping your hands together as realization hits.

You didn’t know why but this whole keeping your relationship a secret thing was kind of fun. It was thrilling that you could get caught at any moment and that the rest of your friends were so oblivious, but you really wanted to know when your luck was going to run out because that's one confrontation that you weren't ready for.

After waiting in Yeonjun's room for a few minutes after Soobin and Tae had left, you finally open the door to Yeonjun’s bedroom.

Both of you silently run to the front door, he turns you around and kisses your lips once more before he opens the front door and shoos you away playfully.

“See you tonight.” He says as he waves at you.

Right, game night. You almost forgot.

You were pretty nervous about it given the fact that this is the first time you’d hang out with all 5 of the boys and Mia since the whole ordeal at the festival. Your stomach turned at the thought of having to act nonchalantly around Yeonjun throughout the night. Not knowing how well you’d be able to do that.

Before you walk off. you pull Yeonjun in for another quick kiss and he smiles into it. “Quick, quick, quick,” he says pushing you off of him, and you both laugh as you start running off.  

Hyuka had his hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel.

Yeonjun was situated in the passengers’ seat as Beomgyu was seated behind them in the middle backseat, leaning over to see what Hyuka was doing.

“Ok so, what happens if I press the brake and gas at the same time?” Hyuka says mischievously staring at Yeonjun to tease him.

“The car takes a screenshot,” Beomgyu comments

“FOR REAL!?”  

“Get the fuck out of my car, both of you” Yeonjun sighs rubbing his forehead.  

“Ahh, ok, ok, ok. We’ll behave. Sorry” Hueningkai laughs and carefully backs out of the parking spot.

Yeonjun's phone started to buzz and he checked his messages while Hyuka was driving carefully. His eyes lit up seeing your name on his phone, smiling giddily at your message.

[Y/N: 3:23 PM]: Can't wait to ignore your whole existence tonight, make sure to get my Oscar ready, I will put these actresses out of a job...

He was about to reply to you but Beomgyu interrupted. "Hyung could you please pay attention to what Hyuka is doing because I feel uneasy."

Hueningkai scoffed at Beomgyu's lack of confidence in him and Yeonjun snapped out of it, correcting Hyuka's driving by tugging at the steering wheel lightly.

"Right, sorry."

"Hyung, by the way. you and y/n are good right?" Beomgyu asked with big eyes.

The sudden mention of your name startled Yeonjun, but he cleared his throat, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

"Yeah, we are. Why do you ask?"

"Well, cause she's coming over tonight too and it'd be awkward if you two were still awkward around each other."

Yeonjun's shoulders fell as he relaxed. Sighing as he looked back at Beomgyu and Hyuka's expecting eyes. "We're totally fine." Yeonjun assures, giving them a sincere smile.

Beomgyu nodded in response and so did Hueningkai.

"I'm glad." he adds.

Yeonjun was surprised, Hueningkai did better than expected so they decided to leave the parking grounds for a short while to practice roundabouts and parallel parking.

It didn’t take long before they all had enough of risking their lives, so Yeonjun decided to drive back to their dorm and prepare for game night. They had a few more guests coming than usual, but Yeonjun had no idea since he spent all his time with you and didn’t plan the whole thing with the other guys.  

“You did well,” he says patting Hyuka on his back as they walk into their building, his compliment earned a heartfelt smile from Hueningkai. “Watch out hyung, once I get my license you won’t know what’s coming for you,” he boasts.  

“Don’t get cocky already, there’s a written exam that you need to pass first,” Beomgyu says rolling his eyes as they step out of the elevator, on their way to their front door.

“Oh…right.” Hyuka says sulking.

Yeonjun laughs at the banter of his little brothers, opening the front door to see the place fully decorated.  

“Eh…Tae? What’s going on.” Yeonjun asks as they make eye contact while Taehyun was using all the force in his lungs to blow up some balloons.

Beomgyu and Hyuka brushed past Yeonjun, on their way to their shared room in an attempt to avoid helping out with decorations.

“So….game night turned into a bit of a bigger get together,” he explains apologetically.

Yeonjun chuckles, grabbing a few balloons to help out. “I’m not surprised.”

“You’re not mad right? I mean you’re barely home so we didn’t even know if you’d be here tonight. By the way, where have you been all week?”

“Uh, with Wooyoung.” Yeonjun lies latching his mouth onto the balloon, blowing it up to avoid more conversation.

“MIA!” you run into her arms. Not seeing her for a whole week was the longest you’d gone without seeing her since you met her, so it felt like a whole year. She left for home to spend time with her family and well, you were too occupied with Yeonjun to really talk to her.

Mia giggles in your embrace. Both of you decided to meet at the boys’ dorm to enter together like you always do.  

“I missed you,” she says wrapping her arm around your waist as you both walk towards the elevator.

As you press the button, you spot the same guy with long black hair who you were introduced to by Yeonjun at Johnny’s party, walking towards you.

“Hey,” you greet him with a smile, and he shifts his focus from his phone to you at the sound of your voice.

“Hey.” He gave you a warm smile back while going in for a hug.

You were surprised since you’ve only spoken to each other for half a minute but you figured he was just a hugger.

“Wooyoung? Right?”  

He nods excitedly. “Yes.”

Mia smiled at him too and introduced herself. “Do you live here?” she asks genuinely interested.

“No, I’m going to Yeonjun’s”

“Oh…huh, so are we,” you say shooting Mia a confused look, which she shrugged at.  

“Oooo nice!” he exclaims making both you and Mia laughs in response to his enthusiasm.  

The three of you make small talk about your only connection, school. The more you spoke to him, the more you got the friendship between him and Yeonjun. Wooyoung seemed super loud and outgoing, matching Yeonjun's personality effortlessly.  

You finally reach the front door and knock a few times.

Soobin opened the door for you guys but you were completely disregarded by him as he attacked Mia with hugs and kisses. You hear a few I love you’s and I missed you’s and you can’t help but beam at them.

You were feeling less salty about their PDA because of the fact that you have Yeonjun now, but you know…they don’t know that.

Yeonjun was seated at the large kitchen table behind Taehyun, who was playing that odd biting dog game that they play with Beomgyu and Hyuka. Yeonjun’s eyes meet yours and he gives you a small smile before he saw you standing in the doorway with Wooyoung.  

It looked like the two of you came here together and he didn’t like how that looked to the rest of the people here.  

You saw how his face fell and your eyes travel to Wooyoung who was still standing next to you with his hand on your waist. You didn’t think much of it given his touchy nature but you couldn’t really go up to Yeonjun either to ease his mind, because everyone would question why.

You sigh, nonchalantly untangling yourself from his hold to make your way to Mia who was standing on the balcony with Soobin.

Wooyoung made his way to Yeonjun and they hugged, Yeonjun’s eyes following your figure like a hawk before he shifted his attention back to his friend.

You breathe in the cool air on the balcony and lean on the railing, standing next to Mia and Soobin who were lost in a conversation about her family visit.

You honestly wanted to be alone with Yeonjun if you could. Not feeling the need to be sociable with all of the people here, especially if you had to act distant towards Yeonjun in the meantime.

You didn’t know how many glances you could steal from him before someone noticed, and it upset you a little, but you also know that YOU are the reason you’re in this situation in the first place.

When your thoughts start running wild, muting out your surroundings, your phone starts to vibrate in your pocket, snapping you back to reality. You retrieve it and look at your messages.

[Yeonjun 8.32 PM]: I hate this :( 

You chuckle, glancing over to him. He looked at his phone with a pout and you melted at the sight, but you quickly averted your attention back to your phone before anyone noticed that you were starting at him.

[Y/N 8.32 PM]: Me too. Also, I ran into Wooyoung downstairs, it’s just a coincidence.  

[Yeonjun 8.32 PM]: Hah, did I say anything?

[Y/N 8.32 PM]: No, but your face did.

You peak over your shoulder to look at Yeonjun whose eyes had now found yours. He gave you a kittenish angry look and you couldn’t help but giggle, which caught Soobin and Mia’s attention.

“What’s so funny?” Soobin says nudging you.

“Oh, the game…the game is funny,” you say absentmindedly.

Soobin looked over his shoulder and saw the boys basically screaming at each other out of competitiveness and he giggled too. “Yeah, they’re crazy.”

Mia’s eyes travel to the front door as she sees new people entering.

“Baby, who are they?” she asks with a smile, leaning her head on his upper arm.  

“Oh, they’re Yeonjun’s friends. I invited them to cheer him up a little.”

Your eyes dart to Soobin. “Cheer him up for what?” you ask genuinely confused.

“Ahh….i-it’s nothing.” Soobin stuttered. “He’s just been dealing with some stuff lately so I thought I’d invite some more people over.”

You squint his eyes at Soobin. What did Yeonjun not tell you?

Your eyes scan the group of 4 who had joined the get-together, you see two guys and two girls, one of them clinging on to Yeonjun’s arm the minute she saw him.

You cock your eyebrow at the sight, trying not to stare too long.

The three of you make your way back in to the apartment and decide to join the rest of the group at the dinner table. They were now playing charades and you couldn’t help but laugh at Wooyoung’s ridiculous competitive nature, which was only fueled by Yeonjun’s desire to win against Taehyun, Hueningkai, and Beomgyu.

Your eyes darted to the mystery girl who was basically drooling over Yeonjun. You noticed her giggling with her friend every time he did something remotely funny or adorable and you can’t help but roll your eyes when she keeps playfully nudging him or smacking his arm as she laughed.

“I wanna be on Junnie’s team!” she screeched as she sat down on his lap.

The action made your eyes widen, and you can tell Yeonjun’s whole body stiffened, his eyes darting to yours in apology.

Neither of you could control this situation, but that didn’t mean he had to keep her on his lap.

“Let’s do truth or dare instead,” Wooyoung suggests wiggling his eyebrows, earning a bunch of either excited hums or disagreeing groans from everyone.  

"What are we, 12 years old?" you sigh, scooting your seat closer to the table.

"Why, you got something to hide?" Wooyoung challenges you as he gives you a mischievous smile, raising his eyebrow at you in amusement.

You huff in response, stealing a quick glance from Yeonjun's stoic expression.

"No."

Wooyoung cleared his throat. “Ok, Ok. Me first then,” he says shifting his attention to you.

“Y/n, truth, or dare?’ He asks grinning at you from ear to ear.

You stiffen. “Ehm, truth,” you blurt out, earning groans from Beomgyu and Soobin.

“You’re so tame.” Beomgyu states and you shot him a venomous look in return, which he brushed off by laughing at you.

“Okay, truth…hmm. Do you like anyone in this room?” He asks folding his arms over his chest, leaning back into his chair.  

“Yes,” you say out loud without thinking. If you could kick yourself you would have. What the fuck were you thinking?

Your statement earned surprised looks from everyone, including Mia and Soobin, who were now looking at each other with question marks in their eyes.

Yeonjun uncomfortably shifted in his seat, with the screechy blonde girl still situated on his lap.

“Who?” Mia asked raising her brows at you.

“I already answered my question.” You shrug, but you knew you’d be a target from now on.

Mia was determined to find out who it was and as her turn came around, she had an idea and decided to act on it. Thinking of the situation as innocent and funny.

“Y/n, truth or dare?” She asks giving him a knowing smirk.

“Truth.” you exhale loudly, already done with playing the stupid game.

“Who is it?” she asks leaning in a little closer.

Fuck.

Your eyes dart to Yeonjun who subtly tried to shake his head for you to notice, and you did.

“Ehm, I-it’s Wooyoung,” you say pointing at him before your brain could even compute the damage that you had just done.

Wooyoung’s eyebrows raise in surprise, just like Yeonjun’s and the rest of the people there.

"Since WHEN!?" Soobin exclaims in disbelief. Which earned a slap from Mia to his upper arm. "Shut up." she huffs noticing how uncomfortable you were.

Suddenly she felt bad for pushing you so far, she thought you were just kidding, but given the distress in your eyes she knew something else was up.

Hueningkai started laughing hysterically as his turn rolled around. “Wooyoung hyung, truth, or dare.”

“Dare.” he practically yells, giving Hyuka an amused smile.

“I dare you to kiss y/n.”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes at the juvenile attempt of your friends to embarrass you, but he couldn’t deny that you were hot, and well. You literally just confessed that you had an eye for him too. Everyone started "ooh-ing" and "aah-ing" at the situation but you couldn't move or respond quick enough to what followed.

Your eyes grow big and you see Yeonjun clench his fists as Wooyoung pulled you towards him, lacing his fingers through your hair as his lips made contact with yours.

Chapter 7.

[superleeleehipster]

Theories on Season 11

Hey! So, as I’m sure you all are very aware, Find Me is out, and I can honestly say that I’m somewhat relieved it did. I was tired of all the theories and anxieties I was feeling about it. At least now we know what we’re working with officially.

I don’t want to make a review, as most blogs have already done their own. For this post, I’m going to jot down some theories on what Leah’s role will be in Season 11. Some of these theories I’ve thought of and others I’ve seen from other bloggers, but I just wanted to get my thoughts down. 

Of course, it’s just my opinion, and if you don’t agree, that’s perfectly fine.

Spoilers and theories under the cut... 

So is everyone ok after 10x18? Yes? No? No worries on whatever your answer is; your emotions are valid.

Anyways, even though the episode was a bit painful to watch as Caryl shippers, I really don’t think it sunk the Caryl ship. If anything, the subtle (not really) parallels between Caryl and Daryl and Leah just showed that Caryl could very possibly happen despite all the naysayers saying they could never sleep together. 

Also, can I say that the whole fish scene was freaking hilarious.

But I digress... I have a few predictions on how Leah’s going to fit into the storyline for season 11. I might hit the nail on the head, or I might be so off that I break my thumb instead, but that’s ok. It’s what makes it fun.

1) I’ve made this first part into a group of theories instead of just one. These are theories that I’ve heard about or read, but I really don’t think are going to happen. They’re just interesting enough for me to list them, but they’re unlikely in my opinion:

- Leah is in Season 11 but in flashbacks - I don’t think they would go this route, because it would be even lazier writing than what we’ve gotten, and it would be more interesting to have her in person instead of being in flashbacks. If they went that way, it would be incredibly obvious that she is a plotpoint for Daryl and that’s it, and that’s pretty crappy writing even for TWD.

- Leah is in Season 11 but she isn’t real - Now this one is an interesting concept admittedly. What if Daryl was in such a crappy mood in the woods, and is thirsting for companionship, so he makes someone up in his head that is pretty similar to Carol, but doesn’t look like her b/c he wouldn’t want to be that kind of creepy friend. Then in Season 11, the viewer realizes one way or another that she was made up, that he made her up in his head to help with his woes, but now that he’s better and with Carol he doesn’t need her anymore. Really neat theory from a mentality standpoint, but I highly doubt that’s where the writers would go.

- Leah is in Season 11, but she dies - I know some folks have said this before, and I get it. Some of us are so done with the drama, we’re just thinking the worst case scenario at this point. What if Leah comes back and Daryl’s all happy and thinks that he’ll spend the rest of his life with her but then Leah dies somehow and he decides to go on a roadtrip with Carol to help with his man pain. I know some peeps feel like that would happen, but in my opinion, I really don’t think so. Angela Kang does have a lot of respect for Daryl and Carol (I know we don’t feel that way right now b/c of 10x18 but bear with me), as she’s said that this is about their story and their journey I really don’t think she would have the story go as low and as misogynistic as that. I honestly don’t.

Now these next two theories are the ones that I believe have a much higher chance of happening in season 11:

2). Leah is in Season 11, and is a part of the new antagonist group (Reapers) - So it wouldn’t be a season of the walking dead without some sort of antagonist being around. The Reapers have already made their presence known with the first extra episode, and I’m sure is going to cause issues throughout the season. An interesting theory that I’m a fan of that people have thought up already is that Leah is part of the Reapers. Whether she’s the leader or one of the followers, it doesn’t really matter, for she’s still a plot device for Daryl. 

The current fantasy I’m having is that Leah comes back and tries to get close to Daryl, which Daryl isn’t necessarily against but is still wary. But then Carol notices things about Leah and catches her doing stuff and she’s like “wtf?” and she tells Daryl her concerns but he brushes her off because he doesn’t trust her judgment very much right now. Most ASZ peeps think Leah is a good person but Carol’s like “mehhh something’s off”. Then the reveal happens where Leah is a double agent of sorts and betrays them all by having the Reapers infiltrating Alexandria or some crazy shit like that. Then it looks like she kills Carol in some way and Daryl’s absolutely gut wrenched because his Carol just died at the hands of his crazy ex girlfriend that he believed more than his best friend and what the fuck is wrong with him?? But then Carol comes back and butchers the Reapers cause she’s a goddamn queen and Daryl looks at her like she could fart fairy dust and gives the biggest smile we’ve ever seen him give on the show. Then he hugs her fiercely and starts sobbing, telling her how sorry he was and how relieved he was at her being alive and... same old story that’s happened on MULTIPLE occasions with other shows and books.

Now considering how Leah is made out to be in 10x18, I would say this theory is ‘less likely’ than what I thought it would be originally, but there’s still a decent chance. I don’t think Leah’s a cold blooded/narcissist, but it’s possible she could get roped up with the Reapers... and lets face it, Daryl isn’t the same person from who he was in the woods, so there’s a good chance she won’t be either when she comes back.

3). Leah is in Season 11, and pushes for a relationship with Daryl - Admittedly, this one would hurt to watch, but I think it’s a fair possibility we can’t rule out. Daryl is arguably at a better headspace now than he was way back when in the woods, and he knows he belongs with his family. But then Leah shows up and wants to start things over with him, and it could go multiple ways. He could realize right away that he doesn’t want that, and maybe he and Leah both get closer together. Or maybe he will give it a try for old times sake, but then he realizes that she’s not the person she was, or whom he thought she was, and they’re not actually a good pairing, and then he realizes “you know who I really want? That grey haired queen”... it would probably more emotional than that though.

I mean, we’ve all been there. We break up from a long term partner and it hurts like hell but we heal and we’re stronger for it. But then the ex comes back and is wanting to be with you again, and you’re at the very least tempted to give it a go b/c you were happy with them at one point. But then you’re with them and you realize that maybe this wasn’t a good idea, and maybe you should’ve listened to your goddamn gut all along b/c it was warning you that there’s a reason why it didn’t work out the first time.

Arguably, this theory would be more satisfying than the last one, because it would be Daryl who would choose who he would want to be with in the end. Think about it. We were initially bummed that Ezekiel wasn’t going to get his comic death in season 9 (and of course we were pissed about Henry), but then it turned out for the better because Carol willingly chose to leave him instead of being forced out of the relationship via death. So for Daryl to choose Carol over Leah in the end would be incredibly satisfying, albeit looooong overdue...

I still very much think Caryl is endgame despite the tough road we’re facing. I know folks are taking this last hurdle really hard because it’s been ingrained in our heads that Daryl is a “one woman kind of guy”, but... maybe that’s still the case. Maybe his heart is a “one woman kind of organ”, but Daryl’s been able to move past his traumas enough to be physical with more than one person. At least that’s how I’m seeing things at the moment. Obviously, it’s not good taste to go completely backwards on what is “known” about a character and assume that the audience would catch on as to why it would happen (like how Daryl reading the “children of abuse” book was never addressed in the show, but we’re having to assume he did b/c Norman said he did). Hoping the audience assumes the things that the writers are thinking of has always been an ongoing issue with TWD, so this whole shindig wasn’t necessarily surprising to me.

Anyways, that’s my two cents on things. I still think they’ll happen, and I still trust Kang. I’m just thinking of this as just the angsty part of a fanfic that I love and adore, and I just have to grit my teeth and wait for the author to finish writing the next chapter before hauling ass to my computer to see the update and breaking my desktop in the process. We’ll get to the healing part, I promise.

And if the spin is anything like the playful banter between them in this episode (albeit more mutual and fun), then sign me the fuck up and let me be a voyeur in their passionate travels.

Cheers my loves! 

[seijohsfairy]

Anonymous

ahh!! all the nii-san posts are so good, but have you considered twin brother tobio who thinks your the only one for him

I have,, It has affected my sanity and rings in my head a hundred times a day. I hate it here. Truly. This became sorta really long? But I hope you enjoy (・´ｪ｀・)

tw incest, dubcon if you squint

The flashes of light are incessant, an obnoxious wave of noisy shutters filling the silence in between mutters and questions. Your fists around the bottom lining of your old jacket, denting the fabric under the light ministrations of your fingertips. It’s nerves, they still creep up from time to time when you feel the eyes. They linger, curious or accusatory ones alike. Another flash makes you blink, then it’s quiet. You take a breath at the same time he does, accidental, but of course you do. You’ve always mirrored him after all, even when you weren’t trying. Tobio holds the air until everything grows completely immovable, like still water in winter.

His eyebrows twitch slightly, before he speaks. “I am happy.” Simple, straightforward, you can’t help but let your smile shine through. He eyes the interviewer for a moment, before nodding. “We’ve all worked hard to prove we deserve a spot on the court, it was a good match and I’m happy with the outcome.” The interviewers quickly take notes, before another sea of flashes rains down on the curved panes of his face. It’s his standard post-match ramble, nothing new there, but you can see the spark of victory where it bends him in two and shatters at the fold. “And,” his eyes flick around across the small group of people.

They find yours. “My sister came to support us in the stands so I am very proud.” The deep blues rest on you like you’re the end of a war, his lips turning upwards at the sides. He is proud, of you, and you of him just as much. Or even more if possible, though you are quicker to lower your gaze at the attention. An interviewer to your side clears her voice, before clicking her pen a few times in rapid succession. The press irritates him, though he’s gotten very good at hiding it over the years. In this moment though, you can tell.

It’s written all over in the way he stands on balls of his feet, like he’s ready to sprint out. You wonder if he would reach for you before setting off, or if you’d have to chase him down the hall like another of the fans. Either way you wouldn’t be far behind, it’s just the nature of your relationship. The lads presses her ruby lips together. “When will you take another girlfriend to a game? You broke up with your last girlfriend in May, fans want to know if it is true that you are keeping your newest fling private.”

Ushijima gives you a little head tilt as he walks past, his cheeks coloured from exhaustion, towel still dangling around his neck. You return it. A few of the interviewers immediately turn their attention to him, snapping photos and calling out for him with an almost violent greediness, the small interaction not going unnoticed. You think you hear someone mention your name to him in the same line as ‘dating’, and Wakatoshi’s deep chuckle is comforting when he leads the bunch of them down the hall. Tobio is frowning when you turn back, at the woman with the high ponytail and red lips that shimmer under the artificial lighting.

“I would’ve kept all of it private if that could have been the end of it.” He raises a hand to brush some of his sweaty hair away from his face, before dropping his eyes to the floor. “I only bring the people precious to me to my games.” He does. He asks happily, over the phone like a giddy child, at the crack of dawn when he goes for his run. You’ve complained about it many times. He still does it though, because Tobio is nothing if not persistent. You only notice him moving because the people around you gasp and gawk, flinching away from him like he’s other. He is, too, a different breed entirely.

His long fingers are around your wrist, pulling you from behind the lenses to his side, tucked against his shoulder like a little parasite. That’s what you think you must look like when the flashing starts. Tobio’s arm wraps around your back and rests his chin on your head though, allowing you to fit right in his hold. Another one of his shiny trophies. His smile looks a little brighter from this angle. “My sister is the only one who has never missed a game of mine. If you want to report on anything, this is the person I am most grateful for in my life right now. I’m very lucky to have her support.”

It feels unreal. Someone calls out your name, the shutters get the noisiest they’ve been all day. It won’t be a headline in the making, you try to calm yourself, bowing at the same time Tobio does. He drops his hand to wrap around yours, and tugs you behind him. It’s straightforward, your brother always is. The violent banging against your rib cage is less so, but you’ve gotten used to it already.

///

“Why did you say all that stuff to those guys earlier? Were you not feeling too well?” Tobio looks up from where he’s putting his bag down, his eyes shooting up along your body. “You’re normally good at dealing with the press post-match.” You put the towel under the water, before turning back towards the main room of your apartment.

“What did I say that was wrong?” He tosses his sweaty shirt on the heap of jerseys and leggings to wash, picking up his towel and swinging it around his neck. You look down again, playing with the fluffy fabric as you approach.

“Nothing, Tobio. I just-” you linger at the couch, resting your hip against it, “you don’t normally egg on rumours about your dating life. It’ll be fine because it’s me, but if it were anyone else people might be cautious of your words. They really want a story on the details, you know. And I’m not really used to being next to you on pictures, it was a bit surprising, s’all.”

“I meant what I said.”

He closes the rest of the distance for you, standing toes to toes. You don’t look up until you can feel the soft puff of air on your head, where he lays a kiss. It feels warm, and good, and you bite your tongue when the pounding of your heart starts feeling painful against your chest. You duck away from it the second time, pushing his chin up with two fingers instead. Tobio smiles into his exhale, as you trace across his features with the wet towel. Brows, eyes, nose, under his chin and along the line of his throat. “Are you mad at me?” He drops his eyes back to yours when you frown, before tacking onto your slight frustration. “Or about the dating?”

“Tobio,” you mumble, pulling out of his vicinity too late. His hand is already on your forearm, tugging you right back in place. Face to his chest with barely enough space to look up all the way to his handsome face. You try to keep it out, but your tongue starts to feel a bit bitter anyway. “I really don’t want to-”

“Because we can stop doing that as soon as you say so. They get paid a lot of money, money I’d rather be using on us. I’m tired of doing it.”

Even now, still spent from the match, he smells like safety. Like home, perfectly familiar. You have to physically distance yourself from him by turning your eyes to the couch, not to melt right into him. “Then don’t,” you nod. “But then I have to stop being less… everywhere with you too, and I don’t think you want that.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not a good actor, Tobio. I can’t pretend not to care and people will look at us, and see.”

“Then let them.”

You sigh, dropping the towel aside under the arm that he’s still holding. He draws gentle circles into the soft skin, like he’s trying to unpick the rips in every single fiber of your threaded sanity. “You’re impossible.” He bends his knees and drops to your level, kissing you. Softly, a few feather-light kisses that shut you up, and then one that breaks you open. He pulls you into him by the waist, the hard lines of his chest against your softer ones. The press of his lips to yours is sweet, though entirely guilty as he uses the leverage on your body to walk you back a little, melting into you.

He bites at your bottom lip and swipes his tongue at yours, sucking eagerly. You imagine his tongue to spell out ‘mine’ on the soft parts of your mouth a million times, because when he gives you a break to breathe you’re dizzy. “You said we weren’t going to do this again.”

“I‘ve been a better liar than you for a while, little sister,” he grins, though you can see the hesitation in his eyes too. This is such a bad thing, it’s wrong, you know it and Tobio must know too. It eats you up inside, but maybe that’s why it’s so easy to believe him. You let your face drop against his chest, letting the rise and fall of his chest dictate yours. “You were made for me, remember? And I for you. And I wished that we’d get married and you wished we’d always be together forever.”

“On our fifth birthday,” you remind him, ignoring his hand when it starts playing with the edge of your worn jacket. It’s his, you suddenly hate how obvious you are. Tobio hums softly at your frown.

“I never stopped meaning it.” He uses one of his long legs to hook around yours and pushes you over into the couch, though you land softly. And while you’re trying to catch your breath from the sudden tilt, he follows you down, coming to lift your knees open and upwards. He leans down on his forearms on top of you, and presses another kiss to your lips. This one is lazier, like he’s already won. He has. Because you shouldn’t be in this situation at all. “I love you,” he whispers, starting to kiss down your neck and zipping open his old jacket from your body.

His large body slotted in between your legs, he presses his hips into you just enough to drive you absolutely mad. “I can’t stay away from you, so stop pushing already,” he moans, reaching down to shift himself in his shorts. Your body, the traitorous thing, basically shudders in excitement when he pulls your top underneath your tits, leaning down to take a bud into his mouth. “Say it,” he ruts his hips into yours now, the friction making you whine. It feels so good, he feels so good.

“I- I love you,” you close your eyes when he smiles at you again, lifting himself from your body to drag your shorts and panties down your legs. “Ah- ‘want you, Tobio.”

“Fuck,” he hisses, sitting back in the couch, “want you too, been wanting you for so long. So long, you have no idea.” He pulls at you until you get up too, sitting you down on his lap, his hard cock slotted between your thighs with a his. “How did you expect me to fuck this perfect, little hole and forget about it, anyway? I belong in this tight cunny, it belongs to me.” He’s rambling, humping you in his lap with his head thrown back and his fingers digging so deep into the skin of your hips they might leave permanent indents.

You press a few kisses to his throat, which he grunts at, before lining up and sliding down the head. He’s already so big, that’s what you remember most. You twitch as you lower yourself on him, moaning through the deep breaths. He stretches you so wide it’s hard to think of anything else, just Tobio. Tobio, Tobio, your Tobio. He drops his forehead on your shoulder when you’re full, before thrusting up into you. You start moving up and down too fast for his liking but your patience has worn too thin for slow. “Wait, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Tobio chokes, shoving you back down in his lap. His cockhead is already at the very end of your sloppy cunt, pressing against every inch.

“Want your fat cock to break me open, please. I need it. I need you. Tobio, please.” He kisses down your face and neck to let you adjust a moment longer, before rolling his length deep inside you once, twice, filling you up over and over again. Mind blank, you lift yourself up a bit higher to drop down on him, his breathing getting shallower by the second. He mumbles out soft curses, and you cling to him. You won’t last. “T-Tobio,” you beg, and he slides his hand between your bodies to rub at your clit with precise movements. “Wanna cum on your cock. You too, cum into me, please.”

He only picks up the pace more when he flips you back over on your back, rutting his cock into you so deep it kisses your cervix with each thrust. Fingers sliding through the sticky mess with calculated precision. “Cum then, slutty girl. Cum on your brother’s cock, you deserve it. I’ll fuck you until you can’t ever think of what others think again.” His hips smack into your doughy skin with every pump, stretching you wide open for him. You can only hang onto him while you cum, moaning his name over and over. “Ahg— Tobio, fuck, holyfuckholyfuck I love you. Love you, Tobio!” Your arms around his shoulders, nails ruining his beautiful skin. “I’m sorry,” you breathe as he kisses you, never once stopping.

He doesn’t give you rest, can’t. But his lips are all over yours, comforting you even now. “I know, baby, I know.” He forces himself to slow down a little as you clamp around him so tight, not ready to let this end. His hips twitch, eyes sharpening on your fucked expression. The rush of love he feels should be illegal. “You’re mine. Don’t fucking forget it ever again. I’m going to fuck you limp.”

[ashleyswrittenwords]

jealous zelink? for number five for fluff?

I made this another Queen and Her Bodyguard thingy because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

:( I can’t control myself and I’m taking a chance by not proof reading it thoroughly. Can you tell I’m turning into a sucker for slice-of-life stuff? (It’s still before their affair)

---

“Gorgeous!” Urbosa threw her hands in the air dramatically, the audience laughed while a picture of the Queen at the Parliamentary Ball displayed on the screen. There were small “Ooo!”s and “Aww!”s behind the camera that would only be appropriate for a television talk show.

It was an elaborate midnight blue dress. The neckline dipped low, exposing her collar bone before cascading into a myriad of shimmering fabric. A long slit was left to expose the pale skin of her left leg.

“Thank you, but I admit it made me rather nervous at the time,” she smiled, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear. Nervous was an understatement. A mere hour before the red carpet, it took five people to calm down and reassure her that she would be okay.

Urbosa shook her head in disbelief, “You had the world shocked! Who knew blue at a black-tie event would be so… groundbreaking!”

There was that laughter.

Zelda rolled her eyes, “Now you’re just saying that. It wasn’t my idea. All of these sweet comments should be directed towards my designer Malon Lon-Lon.”

“Fair enough,” Urbosa leaned forward. “Now, Your Majesty, we must hear about the tea.”

There were noises in the audience that made the Queen look at the display behind her. It was a slideshow of any somewhat attractive man that attended the event a couple days ago.

A thick blush crawled up her neck that Urbosa noticed immediately – because she did it on purpose.

“Tell us about the afterparty and if the country can expect a King soon,” Urbosa grinned as a wolf whistle played over the speaker. It went without saying that the famous talk show host and the Queen had been friends for years and with every appearance came playful jabs at her singleness. The private knowledge of doing this just so it made Zelda flustered was only a bonus.

“Urbosa, you do this every time,” she laughed. “And you know I hate to disappoint you.”

“Darling, you could avoid that and announce a wedding date exclusively my show.”

That made the Queen and the live audience laugh again.

“My deepest condolences then,” she finally said. “There is no one in my sights and I don’t plan there to be any in the immediate future.”

“You heard it hear first folks,” Urbosa somberly said to the camera. “Now, thank you Queen Zelda, for taking the time out of your busy schedule to sit down with us today. Up next! A live performance from The Indigo-Go’s!”

The show wound down into a commercial break. Zelda breathed a sigh of relief when the bright lights dimmed.

As she rose from her seat, Urbosa held their hands together.

“Again! I’m indebted to you. Thank you for coming, Zelda.”

The blonde mirrored her smile, “Absolutely, I’m happy to help a friend.”

The makeup department whisked Urbosa away before they could talk anymore and Zelda made a mental note to text her for a planned lunch. Her feet found the backstage. As she thumbed through the list of thoughts she made for herself this morning.

“Your car is waiting out back,” a low voice caught her by surprise.

Link was walking behind her, seeming to have just gotten off the phone. She let him take the lead because he somehow knew every exit to any convoluted building.

When they reached the door, there were bustling noises outside. Link gave her that questioning look and she nodded. He opened the door for her.

Afternoon sunlight hit her first, then the flashing clicks of cameras. Carefully she carved a carboard expression for the paparazzi.

A reassuring hand on her back pushed her forward. Shortly, her vision cleared to see her detail and the show’s security loyally keeping the fans and gossip reporters back. Metal guards were put down, but it didn’t stop their shouts.

“Your Majesty tell us about your relationship with Prince Harrington!”

“I love you, Queen Zelda!”

“When will there be a suitor ball? We want a King!”

“Are you secretly engaged to Harrington?”

The smile continued until the car door slammed shut and Link was able to climb in on the other side. He gave two taps on the driver’s shoulder that told him to step on it. The Queen let her shoulder’s drop as the vehicle lurched forward. Her bodyguard whispered a short word into his earpiece and watched through the back window as they peeled away.

Zelda nestled into the seat and kicked off her heels.

Link spoke up first, “How did you meet the Urbosa Snapdragon?”

The question did what it was intended, making her scoff before a sweet grin covered the signs of stress.

“Oh, gods,” she said wistfully, “Remember when I told you how I convinced Dad to let me go to a public university for two years? A lot of our theater aligned and… I don’t know… we got paired up for nearly every project and I stayed at her dorm for hours watching the most outlandish Gerudo dramas.”

“You took theater?”

“Minored in it. I’m a born politician,” her head lulled to look at him with a grin. “Easy classes to ace.”

They rattled on like childhood friends. Like always, he found her easy to talk to. He can always tell when she was speaking to him. It was so much different than when she made public appearances, but her voice was still like the coolness of clean bedsheets and through the years it adopted an irreplaceable familiarity to his ears.

The remainder of the day went on as normal. She attended parliament and ran through the list of e-mails at her computer until the clock hit five and that was what separated today from any other day.

Today was the first Friday of the month.

Giddiness made her smile as she found her purse. Zelda had changed out of her suit and into a simple sundress. Malon texted her with a list of movies she had bought. A knock at the door caused her to push it open and she met Link with an infectious happiness.

“You don’t have to come, you know,” she said as they bounded down the halls. “I enjoy driving.”

“You can drive and I’ll wait in the car, then,” he thumbed the car keys in between his fingers, ignoring that he quite enjoyed the bothered look on her face. “Because that means you’re telling me that you aren’t going to drink when the Lon-Lon family owns the oldest winery in Hyrule.”

“I’ll ask Daruk then,” Zelda sniffed indignantly.

“Now it sounds like you’re trying to avoid me, Your Grace.”

That made her glare at him, “No, it does not, Mister Forester, because I want you to spend your Friday night doing whatever it is you wish doing.”

“Daruk has a wife and four kids. I’d think that they would mind more than me.”

Embarrassment made itself known on her cheeks before she had the sense to turn away.

“Hurry up,” she turned just barely and Link had to walk faster to keep up with her skipping.

 ---

“Shh!” was what he heard first as footsteps rustled the gravel in front of Malon Lon-Lon’s manor. Over the hills, he could see the lights of Castle Town. There were light giggles the closer the two women got. Link reached over and pushed the passenger door open.

“Shut up, Zelda!” Malon squeaked out, consequently snorting. It made Zelda doubled over in silent laughter until she could breathe. The red head held her up, partially leaning on the blonde to keep herself upright.

“You did not!”

“Oh, but I did,” Malon breathed in, stumbling over the gravel with a sharp curse. “And I told him to sod off. I mean what kind of moron thought that that coat was it?”

“The media’s posterchild Prince Erik Harrington, love,” Zelda laughed herself into the car seat. Malon folded her arms in the open window.

“I’m going to send him hate mail,” she declared.

“No, you aren’t.”

“I’m going to get all of my designer friends to harass his stylist on Twitter.”

“Malon!” Zelda sputtered. “He’s still the prince of Termina!”

She scrunched her nose, “Not his stylist, honey!”

They shared another fit of wobbly laughter and Malon turned her gaze to Link.

“Get her home safe, Link,” she smiled. “I love this girl. If anything happens and I don’t get to design her summer solstice gown, I’m coming for you first.”

She gestured “I’m watching you!” with her pointer and middle fingers. Link grinned, “I expect no less from you, Malon.”

“Alrighty, Zelda, go to sleep!”

“Goodnight!”

Link pulled the car onto the paved residency road as Zelda played with the radio nobs until she found something she liked. The car hummed along into the night and he absently wondered what was on her mind. Probably something about how many more months until she had the time to do something like this again.

She sighed with a blissful smile, “Hi.”

For a moment, he let his eyes wander away from the road. “Hi.”

Her words were lazier than they usually were. Zelda let her legs stretch and she leaned against the side of the door to look at him. It was a wonder how expressive her eyes were.

“Are you going to tell me or are you going to make me ask?” Link looked over at the road again, pulling to a stop to let the gates open. It wouldn’t be too long of a drive. They were only twenty minutes from the city limits.

Her eyes squinted at him from across the car, “It’s a bit rude that you can just read my mind when I can’t read yours.”

“I’m almost positive that I’m legally bound to answer any question you can think of,” Link’s eyes flickered to hers.

“No, I very much prefer you to answer on your own volition,” she frowned. It was a harmless joke, but the subtle truth in it soured her already muddled head.

“Does it bother you that much?”

Quietly, she debated herself for a moment.

“Maybe a little.”

“Okay,” he rested his elbow on the car door. “How about you ask whatever is on your mind and if I don’t want to tell you, I won’t.”

Zelda pulled her shall tighter around her shoulders, then a silly soft laughter bubbled from her, “I wish I wasn’t drunk. I can’t think of anything – Oh! No, I’ve got one. What do you think of that Termina prince?”

“Who?”

“Erik. Erik Harrington,” she shook her head and ran her index finger under her eyes to see if her mascara smudged. It hadn’t and even with her hair in disarray, she looked… well… Link couldn’t think of a word that was proper for someone of his station.

Her bodyguard quirked a brow, “Why should I have an opinion of your romantic partners?”

At her lack of response, he looked over. It seemed like she was in deep thought.

With a soft tone, almost thoughtful, she said, “I never said anything about it being romantic. Why does everyone assume…”

Her voice trailed off and she mumbled something to herself, now more interested in scrutinizing the patterns of her sundress. Link felt a pang of guilt. He opened his mouth to apologize, but her mood had already shifted. With a slanted smile he only ever saw when she was in this state, her green eyes met his.

“Why shouldn’t you have an opinion?”

A part of him wanted to smooth the loose strands of hair that fell in her eyes so he could see that green clearer, but he gripped the steering wheel instead.

Link shrugged, “I guess I don’t look at it as having that much weight.”

“We’re talking about the future King of Hyrule,” she was dead serious, but a glint in her eye made him stifle a grin so he could match her demeanor. “The last time a checked your file, it said you were a Hyrulean citizen. Unless that’s changed, that means you are fully entitled to have an opinion and I wish to know it to appease my constituency.”

“My opinion on Erik Harrington?”

“Yes.”

“He seems a little… pompous.”

She gawked, “That’s all!”

He shrugged, “I don’t know the guy. Doesn’t really seem fair.”

“Humor me.”

“Gods, I don’t know,” a tinge of laughter lined his words. “I heard at the ball, he said something rude to Daruk. Aryll sometimes mentions when he’s on television. Again, I don’t know, but you’ve spoken to him. What’s your opinion?”

“My opinion,” Zelda echoed, watching the scenery unfold as they pulled onto the highway. It was the time of night where there weren’t that many cars of the road. Link always wondered if she ever got sick of the city, but it never seemed like it. The people? Absolutely. But never the city itself. The woman was a shoe-in for it, but he also suspected she’d fit in anywhere with a personality like that.

“My opinion is if he learned how to close his mouth, he’d be infinitely more attractive.”

He hummed, “So, does he have a chance?”

Zelda looked up at him oddly, “Does he? What do you think?”

The way she said it made him worry if she wasn’t playing around anymore. She sat back in her seat, “I’m sorry. That was a silly question.”

The only sounds were the gentle rumblings of the engine and light songs from the radio. She had chosen that acoustic indie folk channel, the same one that he sometimes catches her listening to in her office.

“I think he has a fake accent,” Link suddenly said over the silence. It made her look up; surprise turning into a certain astonishment.

“And I’m not a man for fashion, but I think Malon was right. The peacock coat wasn’t it.”

That made her laugh and her laugh made him happy.

Zelda raised her eyebrows, “Does he smell bad too?”

“Oh, yeah. Really bad. Bet he wears a toupee.”

Her laughter sloped to new volumes as they exchanged qualities that were most certainty false. From him wearing platform shoes to having oddly long toes, it was all complete nonsense. But he couldn’t stop smiling at her happiness and the more outlandish their claims were the more it heightened. Eventually, they pulled into the back gates of the castle.

Before he could get out to open her door, she stopped him.

“So, he doesn’t have a chance,” Zelda bit her lip lightly.

He tore away from the sight and shrugged, “Make your own conclusions from it.”

Her smile threatened to devolve into another fit of giggles, “I have one conclusion. You’re jealous.”

Link watched her closely. She was leaning both of her elbows on the center console and leered at him. One of the straps to her sundress had slipped and her hair was now fully released from her loose braid. His eyes lingered on her smudged lipstick.

“Can I be honest with you?” his gaze flickered up to hers.

She nodded and his hand left the door.

“I prefer my queens without a king.”

The corner of his mouth hiked into a lopsided smile and he climbed out of the car.

[doodle-zombie]

Lamia Bonding #15: That Happened

Warning: Mentions of scars and abuse.

---

It was, once again, time for a shopping day. Valerie didn’t like to go shopping once a week, since it took so long to drive into the nearest town, so she put it off to once a month. Unlike last time, she was much more knowledgeable on how to handle her boys when it came to being gone for a long time. They knew she would be going out the next day when she cleaned out the fridge and cabinets, tossing out what none of them ate and making a list of what everyone wanted. Sangria and Marmalade didn’t seem anxious about her leaving but she had known that Currant was basically dying inside over her possibly leaving him behind again.

“Make sure you’re ready to go tomorrow, Currant,” she told him, knowing he had trouble asking still. Valerie pretended not to see the way that he perked up. “The sooner we leave the quicker we can get back home.”

“don’ need ta tell me twice,” Currant grumbled.

Her decision to bring him along while leaving the larger boys to guard the house proved to be a wise one because Currant was more than enough to keep anyone else at bay. She’d gotten so used to having such sweet boys in her life that she often forgot Currant and Sangria were venomous in the first place. And Lapis was so small that he didn’t come off as very threatening to people who saw him, being that Corny were pretty common and the only type she saw more than them were Papythons. Valerie had initially thought Corals wouldn’t raise many eyebrows but she was given an immediate wide berth for just having Currant at her side.

Sure, he was venomous and could deliver a nasty bite if he wanted but he was her sweet boy before all that.

“People are so dumb,” Valerie told the two of them, flopping on a bench. It was early enough that she was able to get in some exercise for the lazier boys before they got down to the shopping. Anyone who thought Currant didn’t sit in the cart obviously didn’t know him well, he’d even made sure a blanket was brought so he wouldn’t get cold.

“fuck people,” Currant agreed, delighted when his cursing earned the scandalized glare from a couple of old ladies walking by.

Honestly, Valerie imagined having Currant with her is how mothers must feel when they had more than one kid. He would insist on sitting in the cart, which meant she wouldn’t have as much room in it for whatever she needed at the store, so she would be carting around two carts instead of one. It wasn’t a deal-breaker or anything that would make her consider rehoming him but she sometimes wished there were other monsters that she could adopt that would be able to push a cart alongside her. You know, without having five feet of tail trailing along behind them. Because Val refused to get a human roommate and she definitely didn’t want a child or anything in that vein.

“ya got an audience, val.”

Lapis’s voice in her ear pulled Valerie from her musings. She looked in the direction his hands pulled a lock of her hair towards. Indeed, she didn't have an audience. A little boy that couldn’t have been past 13 (she had trouble judging the ages of kids but he was pretty small) and hidden half behind him was the first full-sized Pygmy she’d ever seen. But her SOUL damn near cracked at the sorry state of the little guy. Sangria and Marmalade both had cracks in their skulls from running off predators around the house but this was the first time she’d seen a city-dwelling lamia have any hint of injury. And it was a huge crack that ran straight through his left socket, an injury that must have been so traumatic at some point the light had never returned to his socket after he healed.

Her first instinct was to get angry at the kid but it was obvious that wouldn’t go over very well.

“Hey lil’ guy,” she crooned, paying no mind to the human child and focusing on the Pygmy. He was nothing like the ones she’d seen at the adoption center, timid and quiet, and even Currant seemed at a loss.

“Uh… hi,” the kid squeaked, nervously wringing his hands and looking around. Warning bells were going off in Valerie’s head, along with the feeling she should have been looking for cameras. This stuff only happened in movies, right? “So, so I saw you have a couple lamia. And… and I wondered if you wanted another one?”

Did she hear alarm bells or a whole alarm siren blaring in her ears? Sure, you could adopt a lamia for free from a center and, if you appeared nice enough, there wasn’t really a process to see who would take the best care of them once they left the center but this was a stretch. Not a lot of parents wanted to get a lamia for their kid so when you saw a child that did have a lamia they tended to be best buddies. These two did not look like buddies.

Closer inspection revealed that the Pygmy had a leash on, hidden beneath a tattered bandana that looked like he’d never gotten a new one. He looked incredibly underweight too. Pygmy weren’t the largest lamia (they were, in fact, the smallest) but they usually didn’t look like a stiff breeze would dust them either. Known for their energy, they didn’t get chubby but they at least kept their magic health up. Valerie was looking at one sick little Pygmy, face flushed under her scrutiny and scales dull from lack of proper care.

Stars above, did he have old scales stuck on him?

“Listen, kid,” Valerie huffed, unable to contain the frown. “You don’t just beg your mommy and daddy to adopt for you and then decide you don’t want them anymore.”

“I didn’t ask them to get him,” the kid blurted, his loud voice making the Pygmy flinch and shuffle towards Currant. As if the little lamia needed protection from a child. “Mom needed to work more and she didn’t want to pay a babysitter… so, she… she…”

“Are you shitting me?”

Under different circumstances, Valerie might have felt bad about swearing in front of a child but that, that was a disgusting reason to get a lamia! A free babysitter? In a sick way, it made some kind of sense. Pygmy had an overabundance of energy that would be useful in keeping up with children and they had a high drive to complete tasks, they were very good at playing with kids and other pets. But they were small. And nothing could force a child to respect a Pygmy the same way they would a human babysitter, who would have the authority needed to put them in line. The sweet nature of a Pygmy would be too easy for them to run roughshod over, which would get the Pygmy in trouble with whatever demons acted as parents.

The scar the lamia had suddenly seemed a lot worse.

“Who hurt him, then?” She was determined she would learn who had done damage to the lamia if nothing else. “Because I may not be able to punch a child but if it was your mom or dad I will punch someone in the kidney.”

“badass.”

“heh.”

Currant and Lapis already knew that Valerie would gladly throw hands to protect any of them but she was threatening a good bite more harm.

“Um, it was my kid brother. He tried to put a hand in Pygmy’s socket and then smacked him with a toy truck…”

“OK, kid, what the fuck?!”

Currant and Lapis did not find this funny. She couldn’t see the way their eye lights went out and how they stared at the kid. The poor Pygmy knew they were talking about him and attempted to cover his face with a whine. Val didn’t have a maternal bone in her body when it came to humans but she absolutely would fight a bitch over a small skeleton being sad.

“Oh, baby, I’m not mad at you,” she soothed. “Who could be mad at such a cute boy?”

Her experience with Pygmy was an absolute zero but Valerie did have some idea of what might ease an anxious lamia. Currant could be anxious as well and she’d gotten pretty good at helping him feel at ease.

“Can you repeat after me, sweetie?” Valerie asked, getting down to her knees beside Currant. She waited until the Pygmy nodded, but Currant and Lapis were both watching her as well. “Say, ‘Nobody is mad at me.’”

The Pygmy didn’t say anything, looking at the kid who was willing to hand him off without a second thought. Well now, that wouldn’t do.

Apparently, her boys could suddenly read minds.

“nobody ‘s mad at me.”

“no body to be mad at.”

Leave it to Lapis to get the reaction, even if it wasn’t what she had hoped for. The Pygmy in question huffed in a very disapproving way but he was smiling now, showing off his little fangs. His one good eye light seemed to focus with laser intensity and suddenly he realized that neither of the boys she had with her looked at all anxious or unhealthy. In fact, bringing Currant and Lapis worked in her favor because they both had a healthy amount of chub on their tails and scales that glittered in the light. They were perfectly happy individuals.

He may not have vocalized what she said but he zoomed into her belly, bowling her over. She hit her back on the grass with a little ‘oomph’. When she looked up, the kid was gone.

Well, looks like she would have a lot of explaining to do when she got home.

--

Despite what Valerie wanted to do, she couldn’t just drop her planned day of shopping to go home empty-handed when she was supposed to be appeasing her boys. And rewarding all the good behavior. So she simply resigned herself to dealing with Currant and the new addition while she tried to convince herself that she shouldn’t name the Pygmy. Once she named him she just knew that he wouldn’t be leaving her, no matter how any of her boys reacted to the news. In typical fashion, he was an absolute darling who made himself incredibly useful as soon as he’d realized they were going to the store.

It was adorable to have such a tiny helper.

He couldn’t push a cart by himself but he was perfectly willing to grab things on the lower shelves so she could add them to the basket. It was too cute, how eager he was to shop with her, but Val didn’t blame him one bit. After who knows how long as a live-in babysitter he needed the change of pace, and he was an amazing assistant. His energy was similar to a shrunken down, much sweeter tempered version of Sangria. The little guy was still incredibly nervous around children, she noticed, but Val avoided children herself so it didn’t become an issue.

The nonfood shopping was done first because she could put a lot of those items in with Currant, but as they were going towards the food she spotted the most adorable little scarf. It wasn’t meant for lamia, clearly meant for a child, but it was a very pretty shade of blue and she was weak to the way the Pygmy’s eyes had zeroed in on it. His bandana was ruined and he would look just adorable with a little scarf done up properly.

And it matched a pair of gloves she’d seen online that would make him the cutest little thing ever.

Being an adult with no self-control, she bought the scarf and a new shirt, very aware of the dilated eye lights staring up at her.

She was going to keep him, it was an inevitable fact she’d been foolishly lying to herself about.

“Admiral,” she murmured, getting his attention by pointing towards the candy on the lower shelves. “Warheads, please. And a bag of your favorite.”

The poor Pygmy looked confused. His previous family hadn’t even given him a name, choosing to just call him his lamia type instead, so she maintained her patience and repeated his new name. Admiral beamed at her, zipping around in delighted circles, and she finally got to hear the excited babble she’d been looking for. His name on repeat. When it came to the Warheads he had no trouble grabbing a bag but after that, he seemed to just… freeze?

Oh the poor baby, had he never been given candy before?

“Clearly I should find your previous abusers and have some strong words,” she muttered darkly. “We’ll get you one of the multi-packs, so you can try a little of everything.”

She was finally treated to the way he buzzed in place from excitement and it was cute. Sure, getting a Pygmy hadn’t been her original plan because they were a lot higher energy than she was and she had worried that it wouldn’t provide a good environment to live in. Not to mention her property was massive and a Pygmy would be easy pickings for some things that had lived in the woods. She wasn’t worried now because Sangria and Marmalade made sure that the woods were safe. And Sangria wouldn’t have to share his toys, she had a collection of stuff that was saved in a wishlist that she would finally have an excuse to buy.

The moment the second cart was filled to bursting she knew it was time to skedaddle on out of there. Valerie picked Admiral up off the ground and perched him upon her hip until he grabbed on, not wanting him to get lost or trampled on. Lifting him off the ground had the added benefit of allowing him to help move things out of the cart and onto the conveyer.

“My hero,” she told him when he beamed at her.

“Uh… your Coral won’t bite, will it?”

Valerie sighed, the weight of ignorance weighing upon her shoulders. Her day had been so stressful already that she had absolutely zero patience for discrimination of any sort.

“Listen, Linda,” she snarked, “just because he’s venomous does not mean he’s going to leap across the counter and rip your jugular out. He’s an absolute gem. So please, continue to just do your job and leave Currant alone.”

The poor (probably barely 19) cashier was quick to keep any other comments to herself. The rest of their interaction went by in silence and then she was left with trying to figure out how to get all this stuff to the car. What had been two carts was now three, obviously because nobody could figure out the same puzzle she’d done to pack the carts in the first place. That, and the cashier had avoided putting anything in the cart with Currant.

“Stars help me.”

With all the maturity of someone twice her age, Valerie looked the cashier in the eye and encouraged her Coral (who had been so well behaved the whole time) to coil around her. She looked like a lunatic with three lamia weighing her down but nothing would prevent her from making idiots look like idiots.

“Be glad I’m not venomous,” she deadpanned as she turned on her heel to walk out.

Apparently, it was sass day.

Walking with Currant and Admiral clinging to her was a unique challenge. They weren’t heavy to carry around so she wasn’t straining under excess weight but they were incredibly awkward to have on her when she was attempting to push one cart and pull another. She managed but it was quite the struggle.

Currant had gotten his exercise slithering around the park but it was nice that he would help put the bags into the back of the van. And Admiral was an awesome helper. Between the three of them, it was easy to get all the bags out of the cart and into the van. Such assistance couldn’t go without reward so she pulled out some candy for Admiral to try and gave Currant his favorite chips to munch on.

Lapis woke up for a snack, delightfully getting crumbs all over her neck and shoulder.

Valerie hadn’t been anxious in the store but as soon as she started the drive home she found her nerves were completely shot. Marmalade would accept her decision but she worried how Sangria might react. On one hand, he would have someone to play with but she didn’t know if he would see it that way. He still had a ways to go before he could be comfortable asking for things without having to seem enraged that she hadn’t read his mind.

Her worries weren’t unfounded. Sangria went still the moment he saw the new lamia, a warning hiss rattling from his ribs. Admiral was small but he didn’t seem to cower in the face of a Mamba’s ire. It was a tense stand-off until Valerie finally had enough and shooed the irate Mamba away.

“If you’re not gonna help you can go.”

“Rude,” Sangria barked back, swatting at her hands when she tried to grab some bags for herself. “We will be talking about this.”

Well, it was tame as far as Mamba threats went.

[eldritchsurveys]

964.

1 • favorite dried fruit? >> I find most dried fruit abhorrent, but dried mango is okay.

2 • do you wear a ring every day? >> Not every day. I only wear rings when I go out.

3 • would you rather wear a dress or a suit on your wedding day? >> I wore a suit.

4 • if you chose dress, will it be long or short? >> ---

5 • if you chose suit, will you wear a bow or a tie? >> I wore a bowtie. It had gold skulls on it. :)

6 • have you ever wanted to be a police officer? >> Fuck no.

7 • favourite insect? >> Moths, mantises, anything funky-looking.

8 • Chinese or Indian takeout? >> Indian, all the way.

9 • do you have a nut allergy? >> No.

10 • favorite dog breed? >> Pit bull.

11 • if you had to dye your hair lilac purple, baby pink, or mint green, which would you choose? >> Lilac, probably.

12 • do you accessorise with chains? >> I used to do that a lot when I was younger, but I just can’t really be bothered these days. I still like the way it looks, I’ve just gotten a lot lazier with my personal style.

13 • how often do you cook dinner? >> I don’t usually cook dinner.

14 • how do you entertain yourself while copying a long text? >> Huh?

15 • order these things from most to least important: >> ... Where are the things?

16 • better too much or not enough of (thing)? >> Depends on the thing?

17 • what have you given up on recently? >> I haven’t given up on anything recently. Surprisingly.

18 • favourite condiment for fries? >> I prefer sweet potato fries to regular fries, which are flavourful enough on their own for me. I don’t really eat regular fries anymore.

19 • ever had bangs? >> No.

20 • do you know any Italian people? >> I mean, probably.

21 • ice cream or ice pops? >> ---

22 • which farm animal would you like as a pet? >> Why would I want a farm animal as a pet?

23 • which zoo animal would you like as a pet? >> ^

24 • have you ever dated someone lgbt+? >> ... This is a laughable question when you’re not cishet.

25 • how many hours do you wish there were in a day? >> I’m fine with how many are there already...

26 • if you were at Hogwarts, which pet would you want (out of cat, rat, toad, and owl)? >> I would never go to a fuckin boarding school lmao

27 • what color would you like your future bathroom to be? >> I don’t care what colour it is, it’s more the arrangement and size and what kind of fixtures that matters to me.

28 • do you add sugar to plain cornflakes? >> No. I like plain cornflakes just fine.

29 • are skeletons cool? >> Damn right, they are.

30 • favorite Selena Gomez song? >> ---

31 • do you like coffee flavored cake? >> I don’t think so. Doesn’t sound attractive to me.

32 • do you still watch your favorite kid shows/cartoons? >> I didn’t have any favourite shows as a kid because I wasn’t even allowed to watch most of them. I do like watching cartoons now, they’re fun as hell.

33 • do you like going on walks? what's your favorite thing about them? how far do you normally walk? >> I like going on nature walks and walking trails and stuff. I hate just... walking up and down the sidewalks around here, it’s so utterly boring. But I make myself do it sometimes because it’s decent easy exercise. I don’t walk very far -- maybe a mile, mile and a half -- on walks around here, but put me on a nice trail and I could definitely go for 2.5+ miles easy.

34 • last time you had a hot drink? >> I don’t remember... but that reminds me! It’s cooler now! I can make tea again! :D !!!

35 • last time you went to Pizza Hut? >> I don’t go to Pizza Hut.

36 • do you listen to Cher? >> No.

37 • what's your favorite thing that you're wearing? >> It’s all the same amount of okay to me.

38 • would you change your hair color if you could? >> No. It’s pretty easy to change one’s hair colour, so if I haven’t done it, it means I don’t want to.

39 • how could I cheer you up if you were sad? >> You’re a stranger, so you probably couldn’t, no matter what you did.

40 • have you ever lived in a city? was it crowded? >> I lived in a city with the highest population density of almost any city in the world, so, yes, it was crowded.

41 • would you prefer to live in a big city or the woods? >> The woods.

42 • have you ever climbed a mountain? >> Yes. Not all the way, but.

43 • have you ever pet a donkey? >> No.

44 • do you hear owls or crickets at night where you live? >> Crickets, sometimes.

45 • ever run away from home? >> I’ve tried.

46 • are you scared to ride public transport alone? why? >> Hell no, lol.

47 • is marriage on your mind? >> No??

48 • do you miss the 2000's? >> No.

49 • did you own a dollhouse when you were younger? >> I did. It was a talking dollhouse -- the dolls all had these magnetic sensor things on their feet, and they fit into slots on the floor of the house, and you could arrange them in different ways so they’d have conversations. Like, you could put the man in the entryway, the woman in the kitchen, the children in their bedrooms, and the man would be like “I’m home!” and the woman would say something about dinner being almost ready, and the children would yell greetings or something. Some things I had as a child, I have no idea where my father even found them, tbh. I’ve never heard anyone else talk about a dollhouse like this.

50 • does the room you're in have a tiled floor? >> No.

51 • would you rather have claws on your knuckles or sharp teeth? >> Neither of these sound particularly practical.

52 • how many pairs of earrings do you own? >> One, the pair I’m wearing.

53 • what's your favorite cooked vegetable? >> Roasted veggies of any kind.

54 • ever had a crush on a book character? >> Sure, probably. It’s definitely not an odd thing to imagine happening to me.

55 • lastly, is your washing machine in the kitchen or the bathroom? >> We don’t have in-unit laundry in this part of the complex (some other units might have it, idk). There’s a laundry room downstairs for the building.

[iiasha-archived]

tagged by the @haoranghae <333333

20 questions!!

1. what do you prefer to be called name wise?

most people just call me emily but i honestly don’t have a preference!! nicknames are cute hehehe

2. when is your birthday?

june 9th aka today aka right now

3. where do you live

west coast of america

4. three things u are doing right now?

drinking, watching ohshc, answering this

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

mmmmm other than the ones i’m already in? honestly none that i can think of jkdfasljdf i have my hands full with my current interests

6. how’s this pandemic been treating you?

its been fine my work is pretty doable from home. i’ve definitely gotten lazier though... as i’ve probably said multiple times i used to do a lot of outdoorsy stuff but i’ve become a true couch potato with quarantine

7. a song u cant stop listening to right now?

kick-ass by n.flying!! they’re literally so underrated omg

8. recommend a movie

mmmmmm honestly any ghibli movie?? lmao my favorite is princess mononoke. i’m not really a movie watcher though

9. how old are u?

turned 23 today :>

10. school, university, occupation, other?

working full-time and suffering for it

11. do u prefer heat or cold?

COLD god i can barely stand anything above 75 degrees

12. name one fact others may not know about u

i think people actually do know this but i get an obscene amount of nosebleeds.... like daily for periods of time. it’s bad jalfkdjafd 

13. are u shy?

honestly it depends on the situation.... social events where i don’t know a lot of people yeah they make me kind of uncomfortable. but more business/serious events i can take charge if i have to??? especially if it’s a topic i’m knowledgeable about jdfakljfs and then i’m not that shy online ig

14. do u have preferred pronouns?

she/her

15. biggest pet peeve?

uhhhhhhhh i definitely have one but i’m blanking right now. i guess one thing, and this is kind of broad, but when people promise that they’re going to do something and end up not doing it? like being late i can tolerate i mean straight up just not doing it. and also i don’t mean little stuff and self-promises like “i’m gonna draw today” and then you don’t but like cases where you are explicitly promising someone and they are relying on you to finish that task; basically when there’s another party involved lmao. i guess i’ve been burned by group projects too much jkadflsjfds

16. what is your favorite ‘dere’ type?

idk tsundere??? definitely not yandere, i don’t remember what the other types are

17. rate your life 1-10, 1 being rlly crappy and 10 being the best it could ever be

hmmmm i guess a solid 7? obviously have some regrets and things i wish i had/could do but overall my life has been pretty satisfactory.

18. what’s your main blog?

this one! <3

19. list your side blogs and wha they’re used for?

@000e0f is my old fic writing blog which i don’t use anymore but keep around as an archive and then @thecaratgallery is my seventeen fanart apprecation blog

20. is there anything u think people need to know about u before becoming friends with u?

ummmmm i actually... don’t know? i guess don’t expect me to be emotionally available all the time/i need a lot of alone time jfdlkasfjkla this is actually something i should ask my friends i need to know what their experience of their friendship with me is LMAO

kinda too lazy to tag so tagging whoever wants to do it!!!

[szopenhauer]

Where do you put your keys when you get home? personal

Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? one from far away on the sand when I was on camp and second time it was just dead and not even whole anymore, I wanna touch a snake!

What’s your favourite movie from the 80s? can’t choose only one

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? not really

Do you have any family that live in another country? no one close

Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe? sure

What is the best house you’ve ever lived in? I’ve lived in one house only unless I can count some I stayed for awhile like grandma’s apartment or aunt’s cottage 

What movie reminds you of your childhood? many movies like Jumanji or Goonies

What was the last email you received? spam

Are you in any fb groups? I am

Whose house did you last visit? my gf’s

How many tabs do you have open right now? 5

What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? I procrastinate lots of stuff

What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? fb messanger/time

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? I still live with my parents  Do you think there is life on other planets? not those close to us

Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? maybe Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are? I’m not happy but I don’t want to travel  Would you watch a porno with your partner? hmm... Have you ever stolen from your work? no Do you own any sex toys? I don’t How often do you use facebook at work? depends Would you date someone half your age? that would be illegal and I wouldn’t want to anyway Are you a romantic person? a little? Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? I probably wouldn’t be  Do you have a current passport? never had a passport Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? just my date Have you had a relationship with someone of the same sex? as a lesbian Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? no but it’s nice Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? possibly Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? if you can’t act normal then don’t drink, UGH! Do you litter? never Do you believe in fate or destiny? not sure Doing nothing all day makes you feel…? both good and bad Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? I have not Would you date someone just for the sex? noooo Do you consider yourself a positive person? pfft Are Sex and Intimacy the same thing? sex is to intimacy like square to rectangles How often do you get angry? I’m like Bruce Banner Have you had cosmetic surgery? I haven’t On a first date do you pay or do they? split Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? I don’t care what they do in life (school, job or nothing) if we don’t live together, I’m unemployed myself Could you date someone who does drugs? doubt it Do you enjoy watching sports? nah Would you do a striptease for your partner? umm... Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car? sure, I don’t even own one  You have a week off, travel or stay home? home <3 Does spending the weekend at home annoy you? noooo Do you consider yourself open minded? nah Do others find you sexy? r u kidding?... Have you ever met someone in person you met online? I have Do you tell your friends you love them? nope, just family and partner

Do your siblings dye their hair? sometimes Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? partially to Will, Stella and Poe Are you indecisive? it’s hard for me to make a decision but I am not changing my mind like wind blows

What are you listening to? Lana Del Rey What are you doing tomorrow? we’ll see What was the last compliment someone gave you? not sure which was last Do you have a big family? no but it’s still to big for me :x Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? sight, then hearing

What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? it should be illegal If you want (or don’t want) kids, is this something you’ve always known or have you changed your mind as you’ve grown up? I wanted kids at first because I played dolls and didn’t know anything about pregnancy or taking care of real children, I just thought it’s normal everyone have them at some point and that’s all but once I found out more about the subject I realized it’s not for me because of many reasons

Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? yup Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? she wasn’t in my life at the time What’s the first word of the last text message you received? ok was the whole message XD

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I’m gonna die, if I won’t fall asleep I’ll explode, I feel so bad Are you okay right now? am I ever?... When was the last time you saw your mom? we’re home together What is the last thing you drank today? just going to drink some water in the kitchen Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? hope not What are you listening to right now? Cigarettes after sex Last time you had a sleepover? ages ago If the last person you dated said they were in love with you, what would you say? I know she does, she was telling me that already Do you replay things that have happened in your head? overthinking for life If you could get paid to do anything in the world, what would you do? sitting in front of the computer  Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room or just barge right in, instead? my dad knocks, my mom barges in What would you do if it snowed right now? ...

Are you more of a leader or a follower? loner

Would you say you’ve had a good life so far? no comment What’s something you wish you could have delivered to your house? regularly or right now? What’s your favorite art style? surrealism? Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? I don’t have coworkers now Do you have a good sense of balance? it’s hard to say Do you live in a very racially and culturally diverse country? no Do you live alone? I wish

Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way? nothing big If you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? depends

Who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my gf The shirt you’re wearinh - is it one of your favourites? yep Is there a certain name that you think seems to have become really popular, and you know lots of people with that same name? growing up Ewelina, Julia, Emilia, Katarzyna, Urszula, Małgorzata and Michał were the most popular names Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site? yup Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? yes, usually and kinda If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? that’s normal Are you friends with the last person you hugged, or something more? we’re related Do you ever post song lyrics as your Facebook status? sometimes Do you drink alcohol on a regular basis, or do you prefer to save it for special occasions? I don’t drink even on special occassions Did you play with Barbies when you were a kid, or did you prefer something else? I played with Barbies but not only them If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose? what she likes/wants/needs :) If I’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? don’t buy me any Is there something you generally always ask for help with? I need help with many things :( Has anyone called you beautiful today? no, I’m not so that would be a lie

Who was the last person to see you cry? my mother

Do you drink bottled water? sometimes

You never know what you have until it’s gone. True or false? kinda true

Are you scared of losing the person you like to someone else? if they were happy with someone else - let that happen, I’ll be fine alone

Will you be in bed in the next 20 minutes? too early to sleep

Do you laugh at inappropriate times? rarely

How many bracelets do you have on right now? zero

Do you have someone you have late night conversations with? I do

What does your phone do when it receives a text? vibrates

What is in your pocket? no pockets!

Can you remember the last person you texted without looking? my sister 

Do you listen to music everyday? almost

Are you gonna be home alone tonight? I won’t be alone

If there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? how big?

Are you a flirty person? maybe The last store you went to was…? local

Do you have a friend named Alex? used to  What did you think of the movie Juno? I have mixed feelings about it How often do you eat meat? often Have you ever gotten clothes from the kids section as an adult? I have :x Are you more of a science/math person or english/history person? I’m artsy  When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? we didn’t have such expensive channels Since using the internet regularly, have you started to read less than you used to? I read less not because of internet Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? nah Do you find yourself feeling lazier when the weather is warm? I feel lazier when the weather is cold because I don’t wanna leave my bed or home at least Are you a fan of the TV show Friends? watched fragments and I like Chandler and Phoebe - I think they would be great together, I’m a bit like them How old do you think is too old to sleep with a stuffed animal? never Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? I’m not How many tattoos would you like to have? I don’t plan any Are you over the age of 25? I am Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? omg! I want my life to get better :( Would you rather live without music or without the t.v? without TV

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground & carried you? Yeah, many times. 2. Are you a flirty person? I’m not a flirtatious person who is just flirty and overly friendly with everyone. I’m flirty if I’m interested in you and we actually talk and know each other.  3. Do you like coffee? How about tea? I love coffee, I drink it everyday. Tea is okay, but I don’t drink it regularly. I have it every now and then. 4. Where exactly was your first kiss? At my high school behind the drama department. 5. The last store you went to was…? Walmart.

6. A name you hate with a passion? There isn’t a name I hate with a passion.  7. Do you have a friend named Alex? No. 8. The last person you held hands with? It was my doggo, Princess Leia. (: She loves to hold hands. She’ll put her paw up for you to grab it. And when you do, you can actually feel her paw tighten like she’s really holding your hand. If you stop and try to leave, she’ll put her paw up or on your arm. 9. How about the last movie you saw? My mom and I watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, the Mister Rogers movie, the other day and it was cute but I wish it had been a movie about his life and the show. 10. Did you like it? ^^^ 11. What is your favorite type of water (ex. arrowhead)? I’m really not picky about it. 12. Have you ever been to Warped Tour? No. 13. Do you know anyone who wears fur? No. 14. When was the last time you were on myspace.com? Uhhh. Over 10 years ago. 15. How often do you cuss? Not very often. 16. Have you ever cussed out a teacher? Nooo. 17. Do you know how many kids are at your school? I’m done with school. 18. What did you think of the movie Juno? I like it. 19. When was the last time you had butterflies? I have the nervous, anxious kind a lot. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the good kind. 20. How often do you eat meat? Everyday. Either in the form of a bologna or turkey and salami sandwich, boneless wings, or pizza that has crumbled meatballs. Somedays I have 2 of the 3.  21. What grade did you meet your best friend in? We didn’t meet at school, we met in the womb ha. 22. Would rather be loved or love someone? Being loved and loving. 23. Last time you cleaned your room? I straightened up not too long ago. I still need to go through things and get rid of some stuff. I also still need to put my Christmas decorations away... 24. Have you ever gotten clothes from the kids section of Target when you were over the age of 10? Not Target specifically, but from other places like JCP lol. I don’t do that now, but I did when I was younger. I still could fit the shirts, but that’d just be weird as a soon to be 31 year old. 25. Are you more of a science/math person or english/history person? Or how about science/history or something like that? English and history person. Mainly just english. I do think history is interesting and I like learning about certain things at my own pace. I didn’t enjoy it much in school, though. The pressure of having to memorize dates, names, and events was stressful. 26. What is your biggest fear? Losing my loved ones and dying, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away. 27. Have you ever been cheated om in a relationship? No. 28. Your favorite children’s book you ever read? I had a lot of favorites. I’ve loved books from a very young age. 29. When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? Disney Channel. 30. Do you shave your arms? No. 31. Since using the internet regularly, have you started to read less than you used to? No. I haven’t read much this past year, but that had nothing to do with my internet use. I’ve started back up again, though. 32. Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? I enjoyed the movies, but I never read the books. 33. How often would say you pulled all-nighters, if you ever do? I’ve been going to bed around 5AM everyday for the past year. My last full all nighter was last month on the day we left for the airport at 430AM to travel to Disneyland. I didn’t sleep until that night. That was after a day of travel and hours spent at Disneyland. I don’t know how the hell I did it. I don’t have the energy like I did when I was a kid/teenager. 34. Do you wear make-up on a daily basis? No. I haven’t worn any makeup in over a year. 35. Has a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend ever had a problem with you for any reason? No. I had an issue with some friends’ significant others, though. For good reason. 36. How old were you when you learned to drive? I still haven’t. 37. How many times a day do you find yourself cracking your joints, if at all? I stretch out my arms a lot. I also feel the need to crack my neck a lot, too. My posture is shit. 38. Do you find yourself feeling lazier when the weather is warm? I already have low energy, but yeah it’s in the negative during the summer. Summer just makes me miserable. 39. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? Nope. I don’t like sports. 40. Are you a fan of the TV show Friends? I never got into it, actually. Seems like everyone else has in recent years. 41. How old do you think is too old to sleep with a stuffed animal? I don’t care what you do. I have 3 that sit on my bed. I don’t cuddle with them, but if I did so what. 42. If AC wasn’t an option, would you rather sleep with a fan on or with the windows open? We very rarely use the AC because it’s expensive and our AC sucks anyway. Poor ventilation. Our summers are absolutely miserable. D: It’ll be just as hot in my house, if not hotter. I have to use 3 fans in my room alone. Four fans actually because I have a window fan. During the day it doesn’t help much, but it’s really nice at night. Ughhh, I swear it gets worse every year. I don’t how I’ll get through it. 43. Do you find it hard to fall asleep when you know you have to be up earlier than normal? Yes. 44. Do you style your hair in the same way every day, or do you prefer to switch it up? It’s mostly just up in a pony tail, but sometimes a braid or a bun.  45. Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? Yes. 46. Are you currently looking forward to anything? When we finally start to see the coronavirus calm down. When it’s contained and there’s a vaccine. When the panic and hysteria goes away. When we’re not bombarded with it everyday. 47. Ever receive a really long apology? Yes. 48. What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning? I plan to be asleep. 49. Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? Ew, neither. It’s all about ranch. 50. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My brother. 51. How many tattoos would you like to have? I’d like to get one at least, but I don’t see it happening. 52. Have you ever hung out with someone just to hang out? ...Yes? I’m not getting the question.  53. Would you be mad if your best friend dated your crush? My mom would never do that. 54. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? No.  55. What was the last thing you drank? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink. 56. Do you laugh a lot? Uhhh. I wouldn’t say a lot. 57. Do you have a dog? Yesss, my little Princess Leia<3 58. Do you like orange juice? Ew, no. 59. Would you rather have big or small dogs? Medium size dogs. 60. Have you ever slept in someone else’s bed? Yes. 61. When was the last time you cried? Recently. 62.Are you over the age of 25? Yeah. I’m going to be 31 soon. :/ 63. Do you like your first name? It's fine. I can't really picture me having any other name. <<< Yeah, I’ve had it for almost 31 years now so hey. I’ll keep it. 64. Do you wear glasses? Yes. 65. Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you like? I don’t like anyone in that way currently. 66. Do you/have you ever liked/been in love with someone older than you? Yes. 67. Did you enjoy your summer? It’s not summer yet, thank goodness. I’m dreading it. 68. How’s your heart lately? It’s beating.  68. Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? Noooooo. 69. Are you a jealous person? I can be. I haven’t felt that in a long time. I feel envy more often. 70. Are you ready to get out of this town? I’ve been ready for years. 71. Have you had alcohol in the last 48 hours? No. I don’t drink anymore. 72. Do you currently have a hickey? No. 73. Would you rather live without music or without the t.v? Without TV. I could still watch stuff online. ha. 74. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister? I had a brief period in my early 20s where I was into it, but I got over it. It was way overpriced. I do love the signature cologne, though.

[333okaythen]

I’m going to start with my parents in hopes I come across something relevant to me, I have a sneaking suspicion that my issue with my life are my parents. I feel like they force me to be grateful for things I am note grateful at all.

My parents are co-dependent and very passionate. My mom is an airhead whom I always suspect is actually very smart but then she opens her mouth and sounds like a bimbo every freaking time. She talks too loud in attempt to be heard, I assume she’s noticed people sometimes to pay so much attention to what she says because what she says holds absolutely no weight. She talks out of her ass and is always 1000% certain about stuff she had no idea about. It drives me crazy.

She has had the tendency to stay with my dad for over 25 years even though I have been witness to countless fights about the same exact thing every time. She has said 100 times she’s had enough but hours later she’s all over my dad like a fucking idiot. I don’t understand it one bit. She got with my dad when she was an 18 year old virgin. Apparently my dad was her first and a few short years later while in an unsure relationship with my father she had me. And that already was by miracle because they told me there was a moment when they thought of getting an abortion.

I wish I could say my mother was very nurturing and a great shoulder to cry on but sadly that isn’t the truth. I sometimes think she’s bipolar. One second she is obsessed with me and the next she’s telling me what a horrible person I am. She constantly fights me on my attitude which I do believe stems from how I was raised.

When I was in college I had to talk to her multiple times a day. I felt bad, but it always bothered me. Why I couldn’t I have the liberty of just enjoying my time along, not having to answer to anyone? Instead I dealt with anxiety over when were the appropriate times to call her so she wouldn’t call me back while I was trying to lead my own life. With how much I had to call her I still never felt like I could talk to her. Every time she would ask me a question I would begin my speech and seconds later she was talking about something else or to someone else. I think from her is where I developed my insistent need to let people speak and my absolute anger when I come across other people who feel like their the only ones with a microphone. You what what I mean? Those people who don’t give a single fuck about what anyone is saying, they just talk over people like the other person never said anything at all. It infuriates me.

My mom never asked me if I had sex or anything related to guys. She had found out I lost my virginity when she went with me to the gyno and the gyno asked me about my sexual activity. She made a face and left the room so that ,e and the doctor could have some privacy. She really didn’t even bother asking me afterwards. Not a single question.

I feel like I have to hate her s little bit because wanting to embrace her or give her a kiss or say I love you doesn’t come to me so much. Not with her and certainly not with my father. I love her the most after she gets into fights with my dad because I feel bad for her and I don’t like seeing her sad or crying. But I hate when she obsessed over my life over my finances over what I wear what I eat. It’s too much. I. cant deal with someone constantly looking over my shoulder and commenting. It’s frustrating.

If something happened to her I’m almost certain I would be sad but I feel like I’m better off appreciating her from a distance. I can’t deal with needy people in my life. She’s needy, and she’s gotten lazier with age. She loves to make comments at me about doing dishes or pacing up stuff around the house but I dint know why because ever since I ,over back from college all I’ve tried to do is not leave a trace of me. I constantly pick up after myself and try to make sure I’m not in anyone’s way and still, I feel like I’m not wanted here. I feel like I’m stuck in a corner.

Maybe if I let myself be comfortable around here I could get rid of those thoughts but I imagine other problems would arise.

My main feelings for her are annoyance. She’s an annoying person I wish there was another part to her that I could have that motherly part of her where she listens and actually cares about me. At this point I feel like she forces herself to care just because I’m her daughter.

[xmenwickedgame]

Here’s to the New Year (drabble)

//So I wrote this last year around this time. I just didn’t have a blog to share it on. Although some things have changed for my muses in a year I thought I’d upload this anyway. 

Happy New Year!

___

Sometimes ten years makes all the difference. 

That was the thought running through James Xavier’s head this evening. He was seated in the family room—distinct from the living room as this was smaller and almost exclusively reserved for his family as opposed to the growing student body. One of the many changes made over the last decade but not necessarily a bad one. The Xavier family and all extended members had a rough and rocky history: they deserved a space to let their hair down or however the saying went. Be the man and/or woman behind the curtain and just...unplug. On the off-chance someone somewhere needed something, well, that’s what telepathy was for. Mister Xavier to the rescue in record time. James smiled to himself, nestling further against the sofa he currently occupied. He remembered a time his powers caused more trouble than solutions. Another welcomed change in the last decade.

“What’s so funny?” Ventured a voice. James met the gray eyes of the woman seated beside him.

“Ahh, nothin’ Em,” he replied with a lazier grin. “Just reminiscing.”

Emily Clearwater was his best friend and significant other: she was one of if not the first major change in his life all those years ago. When he’d been a boy of fifteen and she a girl near-about that age—her Time Lord DNA made it difficult to tell. It worked out though, he mused, because he too aged at a slower rate. They’d been through hell and back, he and Emily had: sometimes hand in hand, others with teeth bared and bleeding hearts. Here they were now about to start a family.

Warmth filled James’ yellow eyes—eyes like his mother’s, but only the pupils—and he shuffled up just slightly.

“Reminiscing?” Emily echoed as he wove an arm around her shoulder. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you use that word.” She laughed as she spoke, a warm, hearty sound. He couldn’t help but echo it.

“Oh yeah?” James asked, kissing the crown of her auburn hair. “This mean I get some kinda prize?”

“Oi!” A loud and deliberately obnoxious voice belonging to the Doctor cut in. 

“Whatever you’re gonna give ‘im you give in your own private quarters. ‘s nothin’ anyone here wants to see.” The elder Time Lord waved his hand at the two in what looked like a scolding motion. James fought the urge to roll his eyes. He was unable, however, to fight off a blush and by the way Emily’s skin warmed up beneath his chin she’d apparently failed as well.

“Shite dad,” she grumbled and James was very sure he heard an eye roll in there. “We aren’t kids anymore.” Emily slid a hand over her baby bump. At four months, she was just starting to show. “Are you gonna keep the lectures up once the baby’s born?”

The Doctor scowled and leaned forward in the loveseat he currently occupied. 

“I will if you two can’t keep your hands off each other.”

“Seriously, Doc?” James jumped in. He had, in the last decade, managed to score good graces with the older (way way older) Time Lord but that didn’t mean they always saw eye to eye. James placed his hand over Emily’s before continuing. “You don’t think we’d actually—“

“Okay that’s enough of that.” Announced the unmistakable voice of Raven Darkholme. All heads turned as she entered the room, a tray of finger foods balanced in each hand. Haha, James thought and while it was juvenile he couldn’t help himself: mom to the rescue.

“Need help, love?” Asked the Doctor, grabbing the arm rests as if prepared to stand. Raven shook her head: James didn’t miss the slant in her scaly brow.

“You stay put, Mister.” She said, crossing into the center of the room. An oval coffee table with a protective glass top sat there and it was on this glass she at last set down the trays. It was then James noticed she’d dressed up slightly for the evening: nothing flashy but the dark collared shirt and skirt combo (with accessories) were a step above her usual attire. Weird. Not necessarily a bad weird; it was New Year’s eve after all. They’d all gone the extra mile in one way or another. Himself more a half than the full but hey, he was among family. If combed hair and a button-down with jeans didn’t fly, why bother staying in? There were more than a few places around accepting that kind of attire. If James wanted to, he could spend a casual night in a smoke-filled bar, entertaining strangers who gawked at his eyes and marveled at his ‘magic tricks.’ Maybe in another life he did just that. The current James, however, would much rather his present company. He fit right in among the mutants and aliens. A soft laugh dropped from his lips and this caught Emily’s attention.

“What are you smirking about?” She asked, a bemused look on her face.

“Hm? Ah nothing. Nothing important.” Emily poked his shoulder. “Come on, you already used that one tonight. Tell me.” James‘ eyebrow stayed put but his smile widened.

“Fine,” he said. “I was thinkin’ how cute you look with your nose all wrinkled.”

“You were not.” Emily said, a touch of color in her cheeks again. She laughed as well now, a laugh she hastened to muffle behind her hand, lest (he guessed) she subject herself to more paternal embarrassment. The Doctor however no longer seemed interested in monitoring their PDA: attention refocused almost solely on Raven. It used to bother James and Emily both—wasn’t there some kind of rule against courting your son’s-girlfriend’s-father? (Or your daughter’s-boyfriend’s-mother?) Ten years really made a world of difference.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Asked the Doctor again when Raven returned to the door. She paused, arms crossed beneath her breasts.

“No. Thank you. I’m just waiting on the boys.”

“Oh yeah?” James chimed in, peering over Emily’s head. “Who’d you rope into helping this time?”

Now it was Raven raising a brow. And people assumed he’d inherited that trait from his father. “Why? Looking for a stand-in while you go crusading across the galaxy?”

Way to play left field there. James blinked, temporarily at a loss for words. If the surrounding silence was any indication, he wasn’t the only one. 

“Wh—no.” He sputtered. “I was just—“ and then he caught the smile playing on her lips. That victorious maternal smile when she knew she’d gotten through to him. “...sorry, mom. Wasn’t fair to leave you alone with the holiday stuff.”

“No it wasn’t,” Raven agreed. She paused, yellow eyes roving from what looked like face to face. “Lucky for you all,” she went on suddenly. “I wasn’t alone.” 

Raven looked to the doorway again. “Logan! You said you were right behind me.”

”I am right behind ya,” came the graveled growl of a one Logan Howlett. James ducked his head as the burly Canadian entered the room. The grin he wore would’ve all-too-easily caught Logan’s eye. Was he too old to call his mom a super-hero? Because damn, the way she commanded their rambunctious rag-tag family suggested nothing less.

“Put the bottles over there,” Raven said, nodding to the coffee table and when she did James noticed he was in fact carrying dark glass bottles. At a glance they all looked like champagne, but that was a lesson James didn’t need relearning: since he could remember, or at least for as long as they’d been close, sparkling cider—the kind free of alcohol—was included for the celebration. This year was no exception and thank goodness for it: he might’ve long since reached drinking age but champagne did no good for a mom-to-be. Half Time Lord or not, they’d agreed to play it safe. Besides, his father didn’t drink either.

Speaking of my dad, where is he? James sat up straighter, clearing his view of the doorway. No sooner did he then in limped Charles Xavier, his dad and apparently another extra set of hands. The older man carried with him several champagne glasses. Okay, that was new. Charles slowed as he crossed through the doorway, glancing shyly at Raven as though waiting for instruction. James’ parents had made as much peace with one another as they could but seeing them work together, when had that started? Or had it already and he in his ‘crusading ’ simply missed it?

“On the table, Charles,” said Raven gently and the elder Xavier bobbed his head. James tried his best not to stare. Charles had gradually emerged from his frightened shell since coming home but guilt and self-loathing, these took longer to overcome. Was ten years the time needed to heal all that? To heal the pain between his parents? James felt a finger that wasn’t his push his chin up. He took the hint, closing his mouth.

‘Thanks for that,’ he told Emily telepathically. He felt that same hand slide across his arm.

‘You’re welcome.’

The last two members of their family—Hank McCoy and Alex Summers—entered soon after. Alex almost immediately on Charles’ heels with the rest of the glasses in tow and Hank a little while later with a pretty but very athletic-looking woman James didn’t recognize.

“Hope it’s alright.” He said to Raven. She smiled, patting his shoulder.

“Of course it is, Hank. You don’t have to ask.” She slipped around him as he led his date towards them, closing the living room door. There was a sense of accomplishment in that, James felt it from his seat: a satisfied finality that now, together at last, they could ring in the new year.

‘All set mom?’ James asked, using his powers again. She looked over at him and though she said nothing at first, she didn’t need to: her eyes spoke volumes by themselves.

‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘I’m all set, James.’ Then she joined the group right as Logan turned the TV on. Dick Clark’s face materialized before them, preparing for the Count Down as he always did. Some things never changed. For the most part though...for the most part they did and, James decided, watching his family interact, those changes often came for the better.

See you later, ‘87. Can’t wait to see what’s gearing up in 1988.

[somewhat-eternal]

An Update

Hey folks. I wanted to apologize for the lack of content lately.

In short I’ve fallen into a deep fit of depression and am having a lot of trouble pulling myself back out. I’m finding it very difficult to do my favorite things, even crochet which is usually the activity I find most relaxing. I really do appreciate all the suggestions you all gave me for dragon-chimeras and I promise I will get to all of them, but I just....don’t have the energy right now. On top of everything I’ve been feeling exceptionally lonely after leaving school, and I thought getting a cat would help, but it didn’t and instead sent my mood in a downward spiral.

More info under the cut if you’re curious. Don’t really expect anyone to read it all but just need to get some stuff off my chest.

I really love drawing and it pains me so much at how little energy I’ve had to do it lately. I do get really hung up on my skill level and can be incredibly hard on myself. i’m simply not able to draw the way I’d like yet and it really frustrates me, and that just make it all the easier to just.....not draw. I have so many plans for the development of Norvath but in order to convey some of them properly I need to be able to draw them the way I want.

I've struggled with loneliness most of my life. I am EXTREMELY shy and usually meet new people through the people I already know. College was the first time I was thrown into a situation where I literally knew nobody, and in a way it helped me overcome some of my anxiety around meeting and talking to people, but I never really did to know anyone that well. Exiting school has been freeing in so many ways, but I’m meeting fewer people than ever before and I keep telling myself I’ll go out and do new things, but I don’t like doing new things alone, and doing things with people is hard when your friends have different schedules and live far away.

This loneliness has gotten more and more crippling in the last year, and however much I want to go out and do things, my social anxiety just keeps me locked up inside. Right now however, I think it’s best for me to focus on putting myself back together and getting back into my regular routine, so that i don’t have the added stress of social interactions. In addition I think it would help to meet new people while I’m not still struggling with my personal life.

With how lonely I’ve been, I really thought for sure that getting a cat would help, but that was not the case. I had been planning on getting a cat for a long time but I chose the wrong time to do that, I just didn’t see it at the time. On top of that the cat I chose just does not work for me in general, our personalities don’t mix right. 

Noodles really is super sweet and loving and cuddly, but she is also the most out of control off the walls cat I have ever met in my life, and that doesn’t fit with my slower lifestyle. She wants to be where I am at all hours of the day and walks right under feet. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve kicked, tripped over, and stepped on her. She’s a climber and I don’t think I could ever find a shelf tall enough to keep my plants safe from her. She chews on electric cords and I cannot let her into my bedroom unsupervised due to my computer and all the cords attached to it that would be difficult and/or expensive to replace. She did actually get to my get to my internet modem, and I only just got the replacement cord yesterday. This cat has the zoomies nearly all the time, and even when she’s asleep she can go from zero to a hundred in half a second if she even senses me move. 

Though I didn’t realize it until too late, what I really wanted was a lazier cat. Ultimately Noodles is what sent me over the edge, and she simply cannot live with me. With her energy I think she’d be happier in a multi-person home where she can have lot of attention. Right now she’s actually at my parents’ house, and they trying to see if she can integrate with their other cats. Her previous owner had surrendered her because she didn’t get along with their other cat, so my parents are taking introductions very slowly. It’s still likely that she’ll have to be surrendered, which would break my heart, even though I know she’s not the right cat for me

When all is said and done I think when I’m truly ready to have a cat I want to bring over Chione. We’ve had her for 7? years and I know her very well, which I think would make it a lot easier on me as a first-time cat owner. On top of that she’s too short to jump to high and eat my plants, and I know she doesn’t have an appetite for electronics.

I never, ever thought I would feel so low, but it happened. I probably only got to that point though because I was dumb and went off my meds way too long without telling anyone. I was so nervous about changing my pharmacy and I procrastinated doing it so long that I eventually just forgot entirely. My mood eventually got so bad there was nothing I could think of that would bring me joy. I got really, really scared that I might hurt myself, and that was the tipping point that made me seek help.

The good news now is even though I’m not quite where I want to be yet, I am still feeling so, so much better than I was a few weeks ago. I’m back on my meds, and even got better ones that fit my current situation, and I’m gonna talk to someone to see if I have ADHD, which is something I’ve been wondering about for a while now. It’ll be slow going for a while but I am getting better.