#my struggle of trying every possible thing in the game to get it to trigger was a whole event

[gothicfied]

can you write a squid game fic or head cannons of other characters finding out the reader is struggling with self harm? If so, thank you and I understand it is a sensitive topics and may be uncomfortable to write.

Squid Game season 2 characters x reader who struggles with sh

Featuring: Thanos / Player 230, Se-mi / Player 380, Cho Hyun-ju / Player 120, Nam-gyu / Player 124, Kang Dae-ho / Player 388, Park Min-su / Player 125, Kim Jun-hee / Player 222

(Trigger) Warnings: Mention/Talk about sh, depression, and things of this nature, this is comfort/angst, not proof read (english isn't my first language)

Summary: Basically what the ask says

A/N: hey! I hope this is what you imagined, sorry if some of these are ooc😞🙏

Thanos / Player 230

જ⁀➴ Before he really knew, he'd constantly make your life a living hell, basically making fun of your shyness. He'd make certain comments to which he knew you wouldn't react to or would try to persuade you to vote in favor of the game containing.

જ⁀➴ You'd constantly tell him off and to leave you alone. It didn't really help, though. Thanos would just sit down next to you and talk your ear off about what he wanted to do with that prize money.

જ⁀➴ When you stood up to leave, rollung your eyes at him, he grabbed you by your wrist.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Thanos blurted out, giving you an offended glare. "You know, it's really rude to just leave a conversation like that." When you tried to get out of his grip, your sleeves rode up your arm, revealing scars you weren't proud of or wanted him to see. When you realized it, he did too, immediately letting go of you.

જ⁀➴ Since Thanos knew what it meant to struggle with mental health he did actually leave you alone for now. But, after the next game, he approached you again and sat down next to you. "I'm sorry about yesterday." he said, patting you on the back.

જ⁀➴ He related to you in a way, but didn't want to ask you about what went on in your private life. Now you just appreciated that he seemingly didn't overstep any boundaries anymore and even checked up from you every now and then.

Se-mi / Player 380

જ⁀➴ You and her had been a duo ever since she came up to you and complimented your looks. Even if you denied it or not, she'd repeat it multiple times, winning you over with her charm quickly.

જ⁀➴ You two had the same mindset on a lot of things, originally voting 'O', thinking you were able to survive one more lousy game. That game was a death scare. Nothing about it was funny anymore. You appreciated your life too much these days to die like this.

જ⁀➴ When the second favor didn't go your way, both Se-mi and you now voting 'X', you felt helpless. One night, the two of you were sitting on her bed, just talking about your past and how you got to this point in the first place. While Se-mi was more secluded, only telling you that 'there are so much worse things she had to face when she got out' you trusted her enough to tell her about a sensitive time in your life.

"I'm not really secretive about this anymore," you pushed your sleeves up, revealing faded scars along your forearm, "but yeah. It was all pretty fucked up. The whole debt thing didn't make it any better." Se-mi looked at you with raised eyebrows, her fingers tracing the lines on your wrists. "I knew you were strong. Don't worry, we'll get out of here."

જ⁀➴ She put in double the work to protect you — She just wanted you to start a better life with that money and be happy, free from debt and all of it.

Cho Hyun-ju / Player 120

જ⁀➴ Hyun-ju noticed from the start that you were more secluded, more prone to cry, panicked easily. It was clear to her that you were struggling with this situation, perhaps even more than that. She made it her task to help you as much as she could, comfort you and keep you close to her and her group.

જ⁀➴ You'd often rant to her and tell her what bothered you after she reassured her she'd take care of anything possible. Hyun-ju was the anker you needed in this shithole and you just appreciated her very much. Everything she did seemed to be out of genuine interest and not just to gain your trust and abuse it.

જ⁀➴ Accidentally, Hyun-ju did catch a glimpse of the scars you were so desperate to hide. She didn't mention it, feeling like it wasn't her place to comment on it. Her heart did break for you, though.

જ⁀➴ From then on, she made sure to speak softer to you and distract you from all the horror around you.

Hyun-ju hugged you tightly against her chest, her arms engulfing your figure. "Tonight things could get a bit scary," she mumbled into your hair while she rested her face against your head, "I just want you to know now rather than find out later. I'll keep you safe, you know that." You just nodded, reciprocating the hug after a few moments.

Nam-gyu / Player 124

જ⁀➴ When he found out, as you didn't make the effort to hide them or anything, he did refrain from provoking you in any way. Nam-gyu related, as he considered his drug use not to be the best thing he could do to his body.

જ⁀➴ Both of you hung around in the same group, since Thanos really wanted you on his team, constantly giving you compliments and flirting with you. It annoyed him to a degree, scoffing everytime Thanos tried to talk to him about how pretty you were, how much he wanted you, give you the world. In Nam-gyu's opinion, he didn't get you.. didn't get what you went through, at all.

જ⁀➴ One evening before lights out, the two of you were teasing each other about something and laughed together — something that rarely occured amongst the other players.

"Want me to show you something?" Nam-gyu asked you, leaning a bit closer. Chuckling, you replied with a 'mhm' and watched him pull up the sleeve of his jacket, revealing skin tracks along the inside of his elbow. You raised an eyebrow: "Oh?" You took his arm to get a closer look, tracing his skin with your fingertips. "Well, we all have our stories, huh?" The man nodded at your wrists, making you look at them too, like you didn't already know what he meant.

જ⁀➴ The both of you grew close to each other, much to his amuse. He was a junkie, you were depressed.. it's like a disaster in the making. But, you didn't care. He was sweet and weirdly kind to you — Not in the way Thanos was. You made sure to hug Nam-gyu a few times more after that, in case it could be the last timd you'd get to do that.

Kang Dae-ho / Player 388

જ⁀➴ You were glad to be on Gi-hun's team from the start, since Dae-ho and you got along really well. As a former Marine, which he was super proud of obviously, he declared he'd protect you immediately after you met, making you laugh.

જ⁀➴ He was kind, strong and funny, but maybe a bit oblivious at times.

During the six-legged pentathlon, you two sat next to each other, cheering the current active team on. Yelling and screaming filled the area as they crossed the finish lind just in time, making everyone erupt in cheers. Dae-ho immediately hugged you with joy, excited to see the five live another day, at least. After pulling back witha laugh, you gave him a small high five with your sleeve rolled back. When noticing scars along your wrist and forearm, the former marine gasped pretty loudly. "What?" you asked with genuine concerning, fearing something was wrong with you. "Oh, I'm so sorry," Dae-ho pulled your sleeve back over your arm. "Dude," he looked at you with wide eyes "it's fine." You needed to hold back a laugh.

જ⁀➴ Dae-ho felt so bad to havs accidentally seen something you've been struggling with, that he couldn't help but apologize profusely. You repeated to him that it wasn't a big deal for you and that you were working on this problem, but he didn't stop nonetheless.

જ⁀➴ You thought it was cute how much he seemed to care for you and how often he came up to you just to tell you that he appreciated you. And Dae-ho did, he didn't just say that to make you feel better.

Park Min-su / Player 125

જ⁀➴ Min-su is just shy over all. When he noticed it, he wouldn't say a thing. He'd be dead silent, maybe even a bit scared to talk to you. He was just scared he'd make it awkward, somehow hinting that he knew about your scars. Min-su was just someone who overthought a lot and even you noticed it.

જ⁀➴ After a bit, it annoyed you — The sudden lack of his presence next to you, the fact that he wouldn't properly talk to you anymore, it was all just weird and confusing. So, you decided to ask him directly.

"Did I do something wrong?" your voice wasn't stern, but Min-su could tell that you were kind of upset. "Ah, no-" he quickly replied back, shaking his head, "it's really not you!" He looked at you with his typical innocent face, making it hard for you to keep pressing him about this matter. "Then what is it, seriously?"

જ⁀➴ He explained what he saw and said that he just felt so sorry. Well, at least he didn't speak to you because he didn't want to hurt or upset you, which was really thoughtful.

જ⁀➴ You'd expect that he would now be the one to comfort you or something, but no it was the complete opposite. Min-su seemed to worried about you and kept asking you how you were feeling or if anything bothered you. You had to keep reassuring him that those times were in the past and that he didn't have to be so worried.

જ⁀➴ It was really cute though, so you let it slide.

Kim Jun-hee / Player 222 (implied fem!reader)

જ⁀➴ Since Jun-hee and you were pretty close in age, you two had found each other right away. You kept telling her that she needed more protection, or at least an ally like you, on her side sincs she was pregnant. You weren't really serious about that, just chuckling when bringing it up, but ut definitely made Jun-hee trust you a lot more. It was a critical situation she was in and she was glad to have you by her side.

જ⁀➴ You even banged on the door in the middle of the night to make the guards take her to the bathroom when she was to shy to do it herself.

As ths pink guard brought you to the womens bathroom, Jun-hee held onto you, clearly being in pain. A few minutes later, you were washing your hands and tried to fix yourself up, looking a bit disgusted in the mirror. "What is it?" Jun-hee emerged from one of the stalls, chuckling. "Man, I look like a damn zombie. Look what this place has done to us." Instead of getting a reply, you noticed that she was staring at your arms, at your scars. You had taken your jacket off for convenience and kind of forgot about them. "Oh, I'm sor-" Jun-hee interrupted you, "No! No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stared like that!"

જ⁀➴ Obviously everyone had their struggles, but now her own kind of seemed insignificant next to yours. You were doing so much for her and she didn't even know that you were struggling. She should've thought of that.

જ⁀➴ When voicing that thought to you, you felt bad that you made her feel like that. With a hug, it was all sorted out. Jun-hee cared deeply for you and she could tell that you cared for her like that, too. It was nice to know that someone had your back in a place like this.

[456-is-the-way]

A/N: Hello everyone it has been a while since I have done any sort of fanfiction. I want to try and get back in the groove for this new year. There are so many fandoms I want to write for. I want to try and get all my drafts and inbox requests cleared out by June but who knows if that will happen. Right now I will focus on them one at a time. But for now I want to focus a bit on Squid Game since the new episode just released. This will be a two part fanfiction.

PART 2 IS UP

Squid Game Masterlist

Triggers: Mention of death, Gore (part 2), smoking, alcohol use, age gap (reader is 25 , Seong is 50,) and SMUT (PART 2)

Seong Gi- Hun x Reader

Game of Hearts pt.1

Seong Gi- Hun had his heart, mind, and soul set on finding the person who currently ran the Squid Game. He needed to find not only their leader but the island he was sent to in hopes of stopping the horrid games once and for all. His first step was to find the salesman who recruited him. Gi- Hun needed a team searching everyday for signs of this recruiter, and with his money he could afford anyone he desires. That is how (Y/n) (L/n) landed an invitation from Gi- Hun to discuss a partnership. Doing his research on possible hires, her name somehow kept finding its way to the top of his list. (Y/n) (L/n) came from an international family who of course aren't exactly on the right side of the law. Gi- Hun normally would not converse with people such as this but he needed someone discreet. It is possible this foreigner may be just the thing he needed to give a different perspective, and if they were caught it wouldn't connect back to him.

Gi- Hun sat patiently waiting for (Y/n) to arrive. His leg bounced nervously as the anticipation continued to grow. He was eager to get his mission started and this was only the first step in his plan. So many doubts ran through his mind. Everything that happened, all the friends lost, and worst of all the betrayals. A gentle knock at the door instantly grabbed his attention. “You may enter.” He spoke in a monotone voice. A cricking sound echoed in the room as (Y/n) entered. Now Gi- Hun had seen many beautiful foreigners in his life but this woman took his breath away. A feeling was rekindling he never thought possible again especially with how things ended with his ex wife whom Gi- Hun used to harbor feelings for. (Y/n) was a decent height, not taller than he was. Her sharp (e/c) eyes had been the first thing that captivated him. A look someone in power gave and it made him almost fall to his knees in front of her. (Y/n) held her head high taking a seat in front of him. She crossed her legs elegantly ready for business. Suddenly his lips were dry he quickly wets them taking a breath in.

“Are you just going to sit there and sweat all over the place or talk business?” Her tone that made him hang off every word spoken.

Gi- Hun nods,” Forgive me. I am looking for someone and I believe your team has the skill set needed to help.”

“Sure, do you have a picture of this suspect? Do you want them dead or alive?” (Y/n) got straight to the point.

“No I don’t have a picture but I can describe him, maybe even draw a reference up, but I do need him alive. This man is very dangerous. I didn't plan to go into detail about him. I do think you need to know what I have been through…” Gi- Hun then goes into details about how the salesman looked and tells her the synopsis of his time in the Squid Games. In honesty he simply needed to vent to some who might listen. Like any normal person of course her facial expressions changed throughout the entire hour he spent rambling on. Just as she was about to call him a lunatic and storm out for wasting her time Gi- Hun pulled out a case of money. The sum only one could achieve if his story was true. He looked like a desperate man needing someone, anyone to believe him.

“I’m in.” Those are the words that sealed their fate.

_1 Year Later_

The first year was rough for Gi- Hun who struggled with no progress. The pressure built on his shoulders as (Y/n)’s team searched. No leads, signs, or any traces of this guy or any others recruiting for their sadistic game. He is currently lighting a cigarette leaning back in his chair. It was time for (Y/n)'s weekly update. She walked into the room. The once stone cold eyes now turn soft seeing Gi- Huns distress. It was easy to notice he was worked up, especially today because it happened to be the ‘anniversary’ of him winning the games.

(Y/n) had also opened up with Gi- Hun the older man constantly turned to her for conversation. Normally she would dismiss clients' interests in becoming more than just professional partners… However this man , using those sad puppy looks made her professional code crumble after the first 3 months. Today Gi- Hun started their normal conversation about who went where and searched what stations including all the evidence of their searches that had been submitted via picture. (Y/n) in the middle of their debriefing took a bold step behind Gi- Hun’s desk gently placing both of her soft hands on his shoulders. At first he tensed up, unsure of her movements. Little by little her hands began to move , rubbing his shoulders.

“What…why are you doing this?” His voice shakes from the amount of relaxation he was drifting into. She chuckled at his response and applied more pressure at the base of his neck earning a moan. “You are trying to kill me aren't you?”

“Gi- Hun if I wanted to kill you and take all of your money I would have done so already. But I wouldn’t ever think of doing that. After meeting you nothing feels the same… I want to meet more than once a week. I can see this is tearing you apart. You have been at this for a year… we may not have much progress… but I know destiny brought us together and it's just begun. I won’t leave your side.” She could not stop as her heart took over.

Gi- Hun is speechless gazing up into her large (e/c) eyes that sparkle in the dim light of this run down hotel. “It's dangerous, I am dangerous. All the people that were killed… I hated that I even got you involved… you are the closest friend I have made in a very long time.”

Friend… just like that her world crumbles this whole time she had only been a friend to Gi- Hun and nothing more? All the late nights thinking of him. How (Y/n) casually would scroll through their texts… Each sweet compliment or kind gesture from Gi- Hun meant nothing but… friendship… (Y/n) refused to let her emotions show now.

“Yeah, what are friends for! I know you would do the same for me if the roles were reversed… or at least I would hope so.” She felt her cheeks warm up as he stood gazing down at her. Gi- Hun pulled her into a hug needing more physical contact. (Y/n) quickly embraces him as well, feeling the need to act as if this was no more than a friendship.

“I don't know what I would do without you.” He whispered. It was breaking Gi- Hun to tell her this was nothing more than a friendship because he craved more. But he didn't need to put a target on her back. If she got caught up in these horrid games… if they killed her… Gi- Hun wouldn't be able to move on.

“I should get going. I have some more paths to lay out with my men. They need to know where to head for next week.” (Y/n) pulled back, turning to leave.

Gi- Hun grabbed the small of her forearm, “Wait! How about we get some drinks tomorrow. It's an off day… I would really like to treat you… Come here and I’ll take you somewhere nice… as professional friends of course!” It took a moment for her to respond properly, she had to make sure her voice did not waver, not in front of him anymore.

“Yeah I would love that. How does around noon sound?” She asked after receiving a confirmation from Gi- Hun (Y/n) left returning to her apartment tossing herself in the bed with a sigh. Why is she putting herself through this? The desire to cancel this meetup was close but she had to see him… She craves Seong Gi- Hun.

-To Be Continued.

[amazinglyashy]

hi! First of all - i love the way u write omg😭 i basically went through all your posts last evening and today hahah (procrastinating at it’s finest😌) Second - i wanna request a prompt, but i dunno if it’s too close to the one where ‘reader tells the lads boys that she’s too heavy for them’? if so, just ignore this!🫡���

If not - could you write something about the boys finding out that reader/mc used to have bulimia(/or unspecified ed) and that she’s quietly struggling again, but not telling them? Maybe something angsty/comforting?

Trigger warning - This involves talk about eating disorders. Please use discretion when reading! Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! That means so much, because I used to write a lot years ago but stopped for a long time. I only got back into it recently, so the love I've been receiving has really done a positive number to my confidence. Thank you, lovely <3 I don't think it's possible for me to NOT write this request, because I'm a long time ED sufferer, and I am currently experiencing a harsh relapse unfortunately... You read me like a book, because 'Too Heavy' was a direct reference to that. It's hard, because it's such an invisible problem that oftentimes you suffer alone. Thank you for the request, hopefully I did it some justice, and for you or anyone who may relate to this post. (Also wrote this while listening to Lullaby - Jhameel on repeat. Give it a listen!)

Love and Deepspace Li's find out about your ED (and your current struggle)

Zayne -

The moment he finds out you live with an ED, he's down at the library finding any books he can, and researching as much as possible throughout the hospital and his old college's database.

He's also finding patient testimonials that have been released, so he can find the most compassionate approach that would help you without causing you any more harm than you already are experiencing at the hands of your own mind.

"I found a new restaurant I want to try. Apparently, they make a certain dish really well, I think we should try it together while we go over the latest mission you wished to tell me about."

He knows what you like, so it makes it easy for him to order things to share together places and ensure you're eating.

He will go out to eat every single day if he needs to, that's not any issue to him. Neither is sharing foods or cooking meals that he knows you love, even if they're not particularly his favorite.

He tries not to talk to you much about it, but does his best to be encouraging and nothing more whenever the subject of professional help comes up.

When you start opening up even more to him, he's all ears, and he's exceedingly careful about his choices of words, like he always is, but even more so now. The last thing he wants is to speak a trigger, especially when he's so focused on helping you get better.

He knows it never truly goes away, your disorder. But that's not an issue. It's more... a fact of being with you. And just like you take his problems and disabilities, he will take every single one of yours as well.

In stride, and with love.

Xavier -

He caught on, mostly because he found it strange that one moment you had eaten every single snack in the cupboard, and the next he heard, you hadn't eaten anything all day. He was wondering if it was something he was just unaware of, but-

Quickly finds out what exactly is going on after a few times of this happening. He was worried it was some strange habit, and now he's even more worried finding out it's been something you've been dealing with for quite a while.

He's upset, to say the least. But he'll keep that to himself.

He just wants to help you now.

He'll ask if there's anything that you feel like sharing with him on how to best help you, and there's definitely a note somewhere on his phone with a list of things you told him. If he can do any of them daily, he will. Anything else is always on his mind.

He doesn't let it get in the way of your day to day, though. You still play games together like normal, read together, and go the arcade whenever you both have the opportunity to win some more plushies for your hoards. He's always conscious about his own comments and behavior, but he doesn't ever let it seem like he's keeping an eye on you or trying to supervise you.

The tightrope of trusting you and helping you deal with your disorder is a thin one, and Xavier dances along it with grace.

No matter what, being around him is a comfort. Whether you're having a good day, or a bad day.

Sylus -

He's pretty internally frustrated when he first find out about it, but he doesn't let it show.

It has nothing to do with you or anything you did. He's just used to... having everything under control. For every problem to have a solution solved easily with money, force, or some compassion.

This is something he can't control.

And he hates it.

Aside from that, Sylus is like a light in the dark.

He had a list of trusted professionals to help you, should you want, and multiple of them at that- just in case you don't feel comfortable with the first one or three.

Any food you genuinely like to eat is available at all times, it does not matter if it is three in the morning. Are you wanting it? Nice, it's right there on your plate.

The frequency of which you see him increases, including the twins, despite both situations being... vastly different.

Where he takes you out for dinners at new and gorgeous restaurants, including ones feature in your favorite media or having special events for a game you like- the twins are throwing bags of snacks at you and yelling at you to throw pieces into their mouths and so they can do the same to you.

You will learn Sylus did not ask them to do this, in fact he explicitly told them not to do that.

It's pretty obvious though, they were worried about Sylus. And not just him, but you too.

Probably because of how much Sylus has been concerned about you, even if just in secret.

He doesn't want his feelings to make you feel anything but loved, so prepare for a speech the second you feel any kind of guilty. You're not getting out of this one.

Not until you know how much he cares about you, no matter what.

Rafayel -

The way he treats it is extremely encompassing. The way he sees it, is if you're sad or not doing too hot mentally, it's going to affect every part of your brain, including the parts that make you feel the way you do with your ED.

Driving you somewhere? He's playing upbeat music pounding out of the speakers of his sports car, singing along goofily or making up new words. You haven't eaten in a long time? Too bad, suddenly he's hungry and wants a snack. In fact, he wants a snack every couple of hours. If you binged and feel like dying, he'll be offering you water and any distraction he can to get your mind off of your appearance or the guilt of your binge.

He will spend more of his own free time at the gym if he needs to to work off any extra weight he gains just to help you eat, if eating with him is what helps you and he doesn't want you to see him change and feel guilty over it. He doesn't care.

Constant, constant praise with him. It is not about your appearance, unless it's something you can change. Clothing you picked out, the way your makeup looks today, a hairstyle you did to yourself, etc. So many compliments on your achievements or work, all with a sweet smile across his face.

If it's really bad, he'll paint you gorgeous works in different sizes, that are conveniently perfectly sized to display directly over any mirrors in your apartment.

Whatever you need, he's on it.

He'll be there for you no matter your highs or your lows.

[yanderes-galore]

Runs over and kicks your door open!! Yanyan!! I heard requests are open , would it be alright if I request yandere romantic Macaque hcs who’s falling for a female seer reader (someone who sees the future), the only thing is reader knows his next move.

This is such a cute nickname... I'll try my best 🥺 I did it general as I struggled with a plot? I mention a female darling twice in this and it can easily be ignored. I just felt the request didn't really need to be gendered...?

Yandere! Macaque with Seer! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Stalking, Possessive behavior, Violence, Mentions of mates, Dubious relationship.

Let's start with this, "Seer" is defined differently depending on definition and universe.

However, for the most part, seer does indeed mean someone who looks into the future to make predictions.

How accurate such predictions are... vary.

I have a feeling you'd already know about you and Macaque's meeting with one another.

Not only that, but you can no doubt sense the misfortune that will come with it.

He's the shadow of the Monkey King, after all. Mischievous yet ruthless.

If you think about it, seers are probably really useful in this universe.

Based on all of the fate stuff that goes on in it.

You no doubt feel a chill come down your spine when you meet Macaque.

Macaque likes to toy with interesting people.

He originally approached you for one reason or another, no doubt out of concern for his own fate.

Afterwards... He's intrigued.

You manage to catch his interest, being able to read his every move and know the endgame.

He both wants to test it... yet is also irritated.

I like to imagine the way you get visions is like small puzzle pieces.

You have ideas on what the endgame is, but don't entirely know everything.

Although, I can see your visions giving you an idea of what he intends to do, like kidnapping plans or potential targets.

Such predictions annoy Macaque once he realizes what he can't do.

He's aware of you being a seer, yet he hates he can't fool you.

You have him figured out, you read his every move, you see right through him.

Originally he's teasing, seeing this as a game.

He's testing you... just wanting to play around.

Then he finds himself drawn to you... the cute seer woman he met by fate.

This must be destiny.

Destiny would be a big part of your bond.

As a seer, you no doubt know how this will end.

Which is much different from most obsessions.

Your abilities allow you to predict what will happen... not prevent the end goal.

You can prevent the fates of some others... but your own?

You'll eventually belong to Macaque.

So I imagine Macaque gets frustrated and jealous like your typical yandere.

He's clingy and for the most part you let him.

Although, the moment his plans get devious, you step in.

For example, you may learn he's going to harm someone close to you, which allows you to step in.

But how I like to view this is much more... hopeless.

Makes this situation more dreadful.

Like... the future is set in stone. Destiny can't be changed.

It makes the story more bittersweet.

You know, deep down, there's no preventing this.

Macaque views you as his mate, his girl, his Seer.

In the end, he'll get you.

The only change?

You know what's going to happen...

There's nothing you can do to stop what you saw.

It's like a... prophecy, somewhat.

You know your eventual role... and just don't want anyone hurt.

So, by the end, when you feel it's time...

You'll let him win.

You'll let Macaque have his way, claim you as his.

This is destiny.

Who knows... maybe your visions will tell you something better?

Maybe it'll work out...

It's not like you can fight any of it.

Macaque is overjoyed when you give in.

His grip on you is tight, he promises not to hurt anyone else.

However... Only your visions will tell you if he's lying.

Your visions have told you what will happen... changing such a fate will be futile...

The only thing you can hope for is making it bearable.

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - A Little Funky

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x OCD!reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warning(s): possibly triggering content to those who do have OCD. Mentions of blood, angst, resisting compulsions.

This one’s for all my OCD people! Your struggle is just as valid even if it’s not always as visible as others’.

Next thing I’m working on is a Quinn request!

—————————————

“Why do you do that?”

It caught me off guard the first time Jack asked. I looked up from my menu. Fear struck my heart in concern that I’d already ruined our first date.

“Do what?”

“You blink like..” he paused, mimicking the action. The way I blinked hard. The way my head tilted occasionally with the force I needed to get my eyelids to close just right.

I let out a quiet sigh.

“Why do you do that?” He restated his question.

“‘Cause I’m just a little funky, Jack.” He didn’t need to know. Not yet. It would scare him off. So instead, I phrased it as a joke. But Jack was far more observant than I gave him credit for at first.

It wasn’t the first time my mental health interfered on a date. Or even that date with Jack. After dinner, we had gone back to his place and agreed to spend a bit more time together.

The night had simply gone too well to part so soon.

“What do you wanna watch?”

I shrugged at Jack’s question. I quickly sat down next to him on the couch, leaning into his side as Jack scrolled through a streaming service. I counted the seconds it took for the app to flick down from one section to the next. Lost in thought as he tried finding a movie.

“Stop.” My urgency made Jack raise a brow.

“You wanna watch Corey Carson?”

“No- no.. go back up.” I shook my head, and watched as Jack scrolled up to the previous section.

“Wednesday?”

“It’s wrong now.” I reached for the remote. Jack’s confusion only doubled. I was strategic in my continuation of the scrolling. Only when we got to the bottom of the page and restarted at the top, did I allow Jack to have control over the remote again.

“What was that?”

I never knew how to explain it to him. I didn’t know how to make him understand that my brain just worked a little different than his. I hated to keep him in the dark, but I thought it was safer for us both to keep it as such.

Our ‘talking’ stage consisted of a lot of great moments, with those occasional interruptions sneaking in.

Interruptions that would leave Jack questioning my habits all day, and leave me feeling like I was walking on thin ice.

“Jack baby…I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A beat.

“Jack- Jack..” I tried to stop myself. “Jack, listen.” He looked at me, trying to walk out the door to go to a game. “I love you.”

“I know.”

“You have to say it back now.”

“I already did.”

I could sense myself getting frustrated with him and upset with myself.

“I gotta go.. okay?”

I nodded, but my mind wouldn’t let it go.

“Jack.” I called his name as he opened the door. He quickly looked back at me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too! Jesus..”

“I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know why it had to be like that. Why my mind had to work the way it did. It scared multiple people off, and I was always afraid of losing Jack because of it.

Eventually, months into our real relationship, I sat Jack down to speak with him on the matter. It was only after I could no longer hide it, that we had the talk.

What I didn’t expect was him to be so relieved and accepting when I told him.

“We should really talk about what’s going on.” I cringed as I looked up at Jack from his bed. He looked exhausted from his game. I was equally exhausted from getting up every ten minutes to check if I turned the stove off.

“What’s going on?” I knew what was coming.

“All of this stuff. It’s different. It’s just- you say you love me a million times, and you have all these.. these off behaviors.” I could tell he didn’t want to offend, but that was really the only way for him to describe it.

I slowly sat up, patting the empty space on the bed beside myself.

“Jack please don’t be mad.”

“God I’m not gonna be mad, just please tell me you’re not a psychopath.” He huffed as he dropped onto the bed, pulling his legs up and shimming until he was next to me.

Some might argue I was a psychopath. Some days that’s how it felt.

“It’s OCD. It’s a disorder- it’s just.. it’s really hard to live with sometimes, and I know projecting it on you doesn’t help. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s what?”

“Obsessive compulsive disorder. It’s when you obsess over certain things, and then you have physical or mental compulsions. Like triggered behaviors or actions that help calm you down.”

“Like saying I love you five thousand times?” Jack eyed me with uncertainty.

“Yeah. I get nervous that you’ll leave and maybe..” I hated talking about it.

“Maybe, what?”

“I don’t know. Like what if you leave and then get hurt? Or die? And I never told you that I loved you. Or maybe telling you that I loved you would save you from that fate.”

We spoke for what felt like hours on the topic. Jack asked as many questions as he could, and tried his best to understand.

We both realized that the best form of understanding came with time.

When we moved in together, Jack had a load of time to form an understanding.

——————

“Hun?” I heard his voice from the bedroom, groggy and confused. I didn’t answer though, staring down at my hands splayed out on the counter top, sobbing quietly as I had convinced myself that my circulation was being cut off.

“Baby?” There was rustling in the bedroom, before the bathroom door opened and in came Jack, in a pair of shorts and no shirt.

“Aw damn..” the disappointment in his tone made my heart break. “Hey, it’s okay.. what’s up?” Jack slipped behind me, carefully wrapping his arms around my torso. He eyed my face, and after a moment he put the pieces together. “Your hands?” We’d been here before.

Jack moved his hands down the expanse of my arms, resting them on top of my own on the cool counter top.

“Don’t look at ‘em. They’re gonna be the same color and feel the exact same way in five or ten minutes.” Jack whispered. He pressed a gentle kiss to my collar. “Gotta relax for me, baby.

I always had issues obsessing over my health. One of said compulsions was the consistent checking of a body part and another was Google searching. In this case, limiting the amount of checking I could actually do, was supposed to help. To show me and my thoughts that I was okay.

At first, I hated giving in to Jack. I hated that his methods never felt like they helped. I hated him because in those moments I felt safer checking myself than not. I couldn’t understand why he wanted me to be hurt.

Over time I began to understand better, that he was helping. I just didn’t like it because it was a good method.

I breathed out a sigh eventually, leaning back into Jack’s chest and nodding to him. “I’m good now.”

There were other days when my OCD got the best of both of us. When Jack struggled between giving in and pushing my limits. When he never quite knew what to do or say.

“I can’t wait to be home.”

“Yeah.. my feet hurt.” I mumbled, eyeing the tile floor of the mall as we neared the door. I had been counting my steps. I made Jack start over with me in three different stores. I think the only reason he agreed was to not ruin my day. But it seemed since it was coming to an end, he was trying to not be as lenient. The second we got to the door, I stopped and turned to go back. Jack gripped my hand tightly.

“We can’t do it again, hun.” I looked back at Jack with wide eyes. His own baby blues responded with a sympathetic look.

“Jack, please.” I squeezed his hand.

“You can do it.” He encouraged, but I wasn’t sure if I could.

“Jack it’s not an even number.” Odd numbers usually meant somebody might die in my head. Jack knew that.

“Who is it?” He spoke softly. He held his free hand out and I slowly stepped into his arms.

“Ellen.” I whispered nervously.

“We can call her when we get home.”

I broke down into tears for the hour long ride. By the time we got into the house, Jack already had Ellen’s number pulled up. When she didn’t answer, he realized his mistake and I was devastated.

Those were learning moments for both Jack and I. He tried to work past his mistake, and I had to wait longer to speak with Ellen. Who had ended up being fine nonetheless.

Jack and I weren’t a perfect couple, and there were nights when I know he got just as frustrated with me as I did with myself. I hated to put that stress on him, but I learned over time that he was not going anywhere.

“Why can’t I just be in here with you? I wanna hang out.” Frustration seeped out of his tone.

“Because I said so, Jack.” I mumbled, barely giving him the time of day with my words, much less my eyes.

One of the things I hated most were the intrusive thoughts I occasionally got about him. The ones that broke my heart, because no matter what they were, I could never live with the thought of myself hurting Jack.

I never wanted to be around him when one came about. Especially because I was always afraid. It was something I never told him, and he never understood.

“Please?”

“No, Jack. Please go call Nico or somebody else. I wanna be alone right now.”

He’d huff and he’d puff, but damn he never went away.

“I’ll be back in a half an hour.”

He was always adamant on checking in on me. He knew when it was my OCD. I had little tells he was good at picking out.

Intrusive thoughts were not the only reason I avoided Jack at times. I also struggled to be around him when he had a cut or broken skin somewhere that was touchable. I was lenient about it being beneath clothing, but on a hand or his face, parts of his arms they weren’t covered by t-shirts, or his legs where they wouldnt be covered by shirts- then I had an issue.

Jack didn’t have diseases by any means. Maybe yaps-a-lot-itus, but other than that, he was fine. That didn’t stop me from getting extra tense when the moment arose where I could have gotten his blood on me. When Jack tried to fight me on that, we usually got into fights.

“Would you at least cuddle with me?”

I hadn’t kissed him for days, not since he busted his lip.

“Jack I can’t. It’s not-“

“There’s nothing wrong with me! I’m fine!”

We could both be emotional in these times. Jack hated to be neglected, and he hated knowing there was nothing he could do to help me. I hated hurting him, and I hated knowing I was helpless against my own mind.

“Please be patient with me?”

“I’m trying!”

If, or when I did get the courage to lay with him, I kept an arguably safe distance. Sometimes Jack would coax me into hand holding, and sometimes he wouldn’t.

There were other nights however, when all I wanted was to be in Jack’s arms. When I’d focus too much on a chest pain or the sound of my own heartbeat. When I’d convince myself I had a heart problem or something major was wrong.

“I really need you to tell me how bad it hurts.” Jack whispered as I sobbed into his chest, his arms wrapped so tightly around me that one might assume I was actually dying. Moments like these always scared the shit out of Jack.

“Baby, I really need to know. If we need to go to the hospital then we need to go now.” Jack tried. I tried to get ahold of my wandering thoughts, trying and failing to communicate with him.

“Come on. You gotta have something for me. One out of ten.. how bad is it?”

He moved one of his hands to trail through my hair.

“Two or three?”

I felt silly for sobbing over a pain that was only two or three on the scale, but that simple confession helped my mind come to its first realization. And it helped Jack relax.

“That’s not bad…” Jack sighed out. “Where’s it hurt? Can you show me?” He slowly pulled away. I looked up at him and swallowed before I reached up to press a hand to the center of my chest, then around my abdomen.

“What’s it feel like?”

I felt myself becoming choked up again. I couldn’t explain it. I let out a strangled sob.

“Hey, hey.. it’s okay.” Jack took my face in his hands, and wiped away the trails of tears. “Is it a sharp pain? Or a dull one, like a soreness? Or does it burn, maybe?”

“It burns..” Jack was always so good at helping me organize what I thought and felt. So good at helping me communicate when I didn’t know how to.

“That’s it?” He asked as if it was nothing. Somehow hearing his nonchalance also relaxed me.

“Baby.. we ate a few hours ago.” Jack whispered, continuing to wipe my tears away. “It’s probably just heartburn.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my head. “I get it sometimes too. Feels all uncomfortable in your stomach and your chest? Kinda tight or burning?” I nodded to confirm that he was correct. “Yeah. It’s just heartburn. It’ll go away, just give it some time. If it doesn’t, we’ll go to the pharmacy and grab some pills.”

I was slow to nod in agreement of his plan. Jack pulled me back into his arms, whispering soft assurances and conversation starters. Some that I answered and some that I didn’t.

Occasionally that pain would grab my attention again, and a new wave of fear would strike, but Jack was one step ahead of it. Always one step ahead.

I rolled over in his arms, my back pressed firmly to his chest. One of Jack’s hands was hidden beneath my shirt, thumb rubbing gently back and forth across the skin of my stomach. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.

“You’re safe right here.” He whispered. “Safe as you could possibly be. It’ll go away before you even wake up in the morning.” He pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Jack.” I mumbled.

“For what?” He shifted, propping himself up on an elbow and looking down at me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him though.

“For being so hard to handle.” My voice quivered.

“Hey,” he cooed. “Hey, no.” He laid back down and wrapped himself around me, slipping one of his legs stubbornly between my own. Even though I insisted it was a weird position. “You’re just a little funky.. remember?“

I scoffed at his recollection of the first time we ever spoke.

Jack and I may have gone through so much together, but I realized that it was easier to tackle with him, than without him.

“Maybe a lotta funky.. but I still love you.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[knoepfl]

Mind Games

Characters:

Edward Nygma (The Riddler): A brilliant, egotistical villain who loves how his girlfriend adores him and sees him as a higher being. He takes delight in giving her a simple riddle and watching her struggle to solve it.

Reader (You): The girlfriend who isn’t very clever, but is completely devoted to the Riddler. She adores him and tries her best to solve the riddle he gave her, eager to impress him.

Trigger Warnings:

Power dynamic in the relationship

Light manipulation

Masterlist

Words: 735

---

Edward Nygma leaned back in his chair, eyes twinkling with amusement as he watched you, sitting on the floor in front of him, desperately trying to solve the riddle he had given you. It wasn’t a difficult one—at least, not for him. But for you? He knew it would be quite the challenge.

He loved this. Loved the way you would struggle, the way your brow furrowed in concentration as you tried so hard to impress him. You adored him, worshiped him like the genius he was, and he reveled in that adoration.

“Come on, dear,” he cooed, his voice smooth and patronizing, “It’s not that difficult. Think about it for a moment longer.”

You looked up at him, biting your lip, frustration clear on your face. You hated disappointing him, and right now, you felt like you were failing. He had given you such a simple riddle, yet you couldn’t figure it out, no matter how hard you tried.

“I-I’m trying,” you stammered, glancing back down at the slip of paper he had given you.

What has keys but can’t open locks?

It seemed so simple. You read it again and again, trying to think of what it could possibly mean. “Keys but can’t open locks…” you murmured, wracking your brain.

Edward chuckled softly, enjoying the sight of you struggling. He adored these moments—the moments where you would stare up at him with those wide, pleading eyes, looking for the answer, looking for his approval. He leaned forward slightly, a smirk playing on his lips. “Don’t strain yourself too much, darling,” he teased. “It’s not beyond you… or perhaps it is.”

Your cheeks flushed at his words. He was so smart—so brilliant—and here you were, fumbling with the simplest of puzzles. “I just… I don’t get it,” you mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

“That’s quite obvious,” Edward replied dryly, crossing one leg over the other as he continued to watch you with that smug look on his face. “But I’m sure you’ll get there eventually. Or perhaps I should give you a hint?”

You glanced up at him, hopeful. “A hint would help…”

“Would it now?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by the whole thing. “Very well. What object do you use every day that has keys?”

You blinked, thinking it over. “Keys… I use my house keys… no, that’s not it…” You wracked your brain, feeling even more confused than before. “Wait… a piano has keys, doesn’t it?”

Edward’s grin widened, and he clapped his hands together. “Bravo, my dear! You’ve done it at last!”

Your face lit up, beaming at him. “Really? Oh! It’s a piano!”

He stood up from his chair, walking over to you with that superior air about him, as if he was bestowing a great honor upon you. “Yes, it’s a piano,” he repeated, his voice laced with mock approval. “Not bad… though it did take you a while.”

You blushed again, but this time there was a sense of pride beneath the embarrassment. You had solved it, even if it took you longer than it should have. “Thanks, Eddie,” you said softly, “I’m glad I got it.”

Edward leaned down, cupping your chin in his hand, lifting your face so you were looking up at him. His smirk was as sharp as ever. “You should be glad, my dear,” he purred. “But don’t mistake this for true brilliance. It was… adequate.”

Your heart fluttered at his touch, at the way he always made you feel like he was so far above you. And you loved it. You loved the way he could make you feel small and insignificant, while at the same time making you feel special for being the one he chose to keep by his side.

“I’ll keep trying,” you promised, your voice soft. “I want to get better, for you.”

Edward chuckled, releasing your chin and straightening up. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll improve, in time. But honestly, my dear, don’t try too hard. I rather like you just the way you are. After all, it’s far more enjoyable to watch you struggle.”

You blushed even deeper at his words, but the embarrassment only made you more determined to please him. You adored him so much, even if you couldn’t match his intelligence. And he adored you in his own way—because he knew you would never leave him. You needed him, and he thrived on that.

---

Author’s Note: Thanks for reading! I wanted to capture Edward Nygma’s condescending but affectionate side in this fanfiction, showing how he enjoys watching his girlfriend struggle with something simple and how he thrives on being seen as superior. Let me know what you think!

[charongess]

Hello, I've been thinking about the direction I want to take my own art and I find the way you organize your art blogs between different styles interesting. What do you think of the divide between art that takes much time and skill and art that's more "marketable"?

Oh I like this question a lot. This is a thought that frequently keeps me up at night. I am going to write a lot about this so forgive me if you were hoping for a concise response. I'm also not the best writer, heh. Prefacing with trigger warning for addiction. We currently live in a world where fast paced consumption is the crux of just about every industry. I think as a society we are all aware of it on some level. However, I view it from the lens of a recovering addict. I spent about half my life struggling with addiction. I had the worst cold turkey crash I ever had about four years ago. I thought I was going to die, the withdrawals were so bad. I think this was a necessary part of getting clean for me. I needed to see how bad it could get in order to change my perspective and clear my head. I think the world might be headed down the same path, addicted to consumption like a drug masking the pain of a broken system. We're all clawing at something we can't have because we haven't experienced the fall yet. I don't know if it will happen in our lifetimes. A part of me hopes it does and a part of me would prefer to stay comfortable in the system we have. Change is hard. I think the growing divide in marketable and long form art is a reflection of many things. The best metaphor is the tension on the kite string. Eventually it will snap. Much like the growing wealth divide. On a personal level. When it comes to my art, I would like to work on my high end introspective work but I have bills to pay, thus I am forced to put my energy into my easier, but marketable art. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy that art, a lot. It's helping me process a part of my life I felt like I missed out on during my addiction. However, it is in my heart, a means to an end. It is funding my desire to return to a more intricate art form. I'm hoping in five or ten years I will have saved enough to live on while I focus on this account. Through that, I am also contributing to a system that I'm pretty sure 99% of us don't like. I fear that in time, even this method won't be possible. I fear for future generations. In comes the conflict, the guilt, the jealousy, and the reminder that the world is deprived of so much creativity because we are both victims and perpetrators of this process. I don't think it's by design. I think it just is, and there will be the other shoe eventually. Until, then I continue to try and earn the resources to be able to create unburdened by the fees of existing. It's the only way I have been able to figure out how to earn my keep as ethically as possible. I don't blame social media, artists, or consumers. We're all just mirrors of each other. We all have dreams and goals and we're all forced to play the same game. Some of us are just luckier than others. Thanks for asking.

[a-linearis]

to my fellow humans struggling with bfrbs (body focused repetitive behaviours):

you are not a monster, you are not disgusting or shameful, you are a person worthy of love and care and respect :)

About a week ago, I had one of the worst episodes of skin biting in months, I'm doing better now but I wanted to put some tips and reminders here!

I didn't know that there was terms for my behaviours until like a few months ago (even though this has been a thing since I was really young), since shame and stigma got in the way of anyone in my family actually doing any research/getting me help (i.e. i had to deal with it on my own :<)

[note: a lot of these are for dermatophagia/onychophagia since I can talk from personal experience, feel free to add your own advice!]

Water is a big thing that can be triggering, since it can reveal flaps of skin (when your skin absorbs the water and your skin goes wrinkly), so a lot of these revolve around water.

If the skin around your fingers is affected, go wash your hands immediately after an episode of the repetitive behaviour! Rinsing my mouth also helps sometimes.

go get yourself some (cheap) hand cream from your local drugstore. I always keep moisturiser on me to use after I was my hands/do the dishes/have a shower/anytime my hands feel dry

Wash the dishes with gloves/use a dishmatic/if you have a dishwasher and it doesn't cost too much to use you can use that

Try turning off the water in your shower whilst applying soap to your body. If showers are completely too triggering, flannels and deodorant (but at least try to shower if you've exercised/once every few days). Equally, washing your hands should be fine, but if not, then hand sanitiser (be careful of cuts though!)

I exfoliate around my fingers with brown sugar like once every two days if my fingers don't hurt, I'm not sure of the proven efficacy of it removing dead skin from the surface but it makes me feel good (it's a good replacement activity)

nail oils! jojoba oil is known to be good, but i used to use virgin olive oil because it's also good (and it was something I had at home). Right now I just use shea butter! just moisturise in any way possible!

There are some things that people say such as bitter nail solutions and gum, but I used to just chew right through those, so remember that there is no one solution that works for everyone (some of these won't help you, and that's fine)

Plasters tend to stop air from getting to small cuts on your fingers so try not to use those (they weren't very helpful for me, at least)

When your hands start healing, gloves can help, but the fabric tends to catch onto skin/nails so be careful with that (and when you're putting on clothes in general)

Nail polish/rings if you like them! You shouldn't feel like you have to wait until your fingers are better before you can look nice :)

Knitting/fiddling with rings/making sure your doing something with your hands can be useful sometimes, but it's totally understandable if you just start with one little piece of skin and you end up like completely wrecking your fingers (when you start, you often can't stop)

Be aware of possible triggers. it's very hard to do this since sometimes episodes come out of nowhere, but I know i'm more likely to start biting my skin after stressful events or during task paralysis/when my brain is "stuck" (the logic is that my brain can be "stuck" on something else instead of all these impending things i have to do but can't get myself to start doing)

Remind yourself how much your hands help you to experience the world around you - You write, read, use technology, make and eat food, play your favourite games, hug your friends and create with your hands! You owe it to yourself to keep them safe and healthy where possible. Be compassionate with yourself (it will often be in spite of the way others treat you - but we are all here for you!)

talking about it can always help too with removing guilt/shame (I am always down to talk) and reading other posts on the tags here can feel v validating (@bfrb-culture-is has been so so helpful in making me feel less alone!)

I do hope this is helpful, this post is as much for me as it is for anyone else that comes across it <3

Have a good day~

[strangecowplant]

after way too long finally heres an update on teddy!

kinda a long post so putting this under a read more:

So hey I know its been forever since I was last on but things have just been really difficult these last months, both my mental and physical health took a dive and I've been dealing with a lot of stressors and in general things just going wrong or things breaking down constantly :/ I'm only just now able to at least start working towards getting back into the good habits and routines I made for myself earlier last year, and so far its going well! Already my health has improved where it can and its only been a few days so things are looking up in that aspect

I've been stressing about making an update post (for no reason btw, my disorders just make everything difficult woo!!!) but I'm finally able to push myself to now. First and foremost Teddy is doing really well!! He's so happy and totally back to normal and I couldn't be more thankful to everyone who helped save him, I'm so sorry for going so long without an update! He wouldn't be here without you all I'm so grateful every single day to see him when I wake up, to just be near him giving him pets and talking to him and hearing what sounds like a freight train busting through the house when he and his brother get the zoomies. He's even become impossibly more snuggly and lovey than before and he's found a new toy he loves to play with, he's currently snuggled up with me and my dog on the couch c:

I on the other hand am still recovering from the trauma of this, I really struggle getting over things that may even seem minor to others (i do have undiagnosed asd which i've only been aware of for a few years and im still learning so much about myself in that regard, this is one thing ive only recently realized may be part of that) seeing the posts on my blog here or thinking back/seeing pictures is pretty triggering but I do really want to move on and be positive going forward. (which reminds me, I've refunded all donations to the gfm last month and turned off donations/deleted it and will delete my pinned/rb's of it as well) On the topic of suing the vet we were pretty much told we cant do anything but complain, and I've been struggling with my mental health too much to do anything it really just feels like I'd be trying to tunnel through a cement wall with a plastic spoon. I can't be hung up on it though at this point it just brings me down and I really need to focus on keeping myself healthy which in turn keeps Teddy healthy too

I do want to get back on simblr regularly at some point, I've been wanting to get in game, organize my mods and revamp my blog (again) and I really want to engage more in the community with reblogs especially and maybe even post some cc this year. I've noticed some blogs I could've sworn i followed before aren't being followed, possibly bc my dumb ass thought i already followed them/i followed them years ago on an old blog, so I'll be going through that at some point. If you see me follow you again thats why!

Idk when I'll be back but i really needed to get this written up and to thank you all again for everything you've done for my cosy little family, I hope everyone is doing well even during these times we live in now, please keep yourselves healthy and safe! ❤️

[maxwell-mtv]

Sleepless Nights with Morris and Pierre (Stardew Valley)

Heyo! Do you have ✨insomnia?✨ Do you frequently find yourself up at all odd hours of the night, no matter how little sleep you get the night before?! Well boy, are you not alone because I wrote some handy-dandy headcanons of how those sleepless nights might go with the businessmen of Pelican Town! I included both perspectives of whether it is they who are having troubles sleeping, or if it's you who may be struggling. Here's a little disclaimer (as is usual from me):

[Disclaimer: As with all my headcanons, they're all based off my game play which involves the Stardew Expanded Mod and Marry Morris Mod (and possibly more I don’t remember downloading). In this scenario, Joja is still in business but Pierre and Caroline are now divorced. Trigger warning for alcohol, smoking, and hinted marijuana use. Please enjoy and let me know of any headcanons you'd like to see from me!]

🌆 Morris:

It’s sad to say there’s more nights than not where you can find Morris up at all odd hours of the night

Sometimes he’ll simply be pacing while other times you’ll find him slumped on the couch with a book he only can reread a single page on

Whenever you find him it’s one of two things: general anxiety or stress from his job

“What are you doing up this late?” He’ll ask you with a concerned scowl

“I could ask you the same.” You’ll retort.

“Fair point.” He never likes talking about his problems outside of surface level, everyday stuff. But when you can manage to catch him in his most vulnerable state, which happens to be on those nights where he’s especially distressed, he’ll confess what’s on his mind

With worried eyes, he’ll list off all that ails him and more, eventually divulging into a rant about how “kids these days never want to work! Back in my day…”

And so on and so on, until one of you stops him mid sentence to take a few deep breaths and calm down

“I have to do inventory with half the staff because Claire has some odd appointment to attend to and Shane is out on medical leave! How do they expect a staff of three to inventory an entire store and submit the numbers by tomorrow?” He’ll ask you in an exasperated tone, putting his head in his hands

It’s never easy to repeat the same routine nearly every week, but it’s what needs to be done. On the bright side, you now know how to decipher between whether it’s a non-caffeinated-tea or a classic warm-glass-of-milk night.

Although you may sometimes find him with a glass of scotch or whiskey in his hands when he goes through these spells, you try hard to shuffle him away from the potential alcohol dependency (thus the tea or milk being a frequent solution you provide)

On that note, if Morris is the one to find you awake with insomnia, he’ll quickly rush to the first solution he’s always known to work

Coming to your side, he’ll hand you a glass of something potent and tell you it’ll do the trick

After a sniff and sip, you’ll quickly realize what it is and you’ll scold him for trying to give you a stiff drink as a solution

“My father used to give that to me growing up and it always did the trick for me!” He’ll defend himself with that mischievous smirk of his

After his rejected solution of drinking till you’re too dizzy to stay upright, he’ll finally ask you what he can do to help, which usually leads to him simply sitting with you.

Sometimes he’ll take you on a walk around your farm and other times he’ll just do as you do with him so often and make you some tea to calm your nerves

Either way, he’s encouraging you to talk to him, if there’s anything in particular keeping you up

He will not push you to go back to bed but rather stay up with you, no matter how tired he is, until you’re ready to go to bed yourself

When and if you manage to feel ready to try and sleep again, he’ll walk with you back upstairs and make sure you’re comfortable and don’t need anything before he climbs back into bed with you

He’ll persist through his own exhaustion to make sure you fall asleep before he does

On the rare occasion, he’ll even gently trace the shape of your face with his finger while telling you stories from his work

If you ask him why he does this, he’ll try to avoid the topic, making it seem more ominous and creepy than it is

Eventually, he will tell you it’s simply something his mother used to do for him when he was a little boy to help him fall asleep

As soon as he knows for a fact that you’re out for the night, he’ll often say something more tender and sweet to you than he typically does. Some form of an “I love you” but with some extra vulnerability

🌇 Pierre:

It’s not often Pierre has a night where he feels completely incapable of sleeping at any point

He’ll often stay up later, yes, but he’s typically passed out by 2 in the morning

But on those rare, rare occasions, you can find him on the balcony, smoking a cigarette you didn’t know he had. Is that skunk you smell?

Getting up to see what was on the man’s mind, you’ll have to approach him gently, Yoba forbid you sneak up on the poor man and make him drop his smoke in surprise

“Oh hey,” he’ll glance down at you with a soft smile, “sorry, I’ll be back to bed in a minute. I just… need a moment.” He’ll turn his attention to the town square below

It’s almost a guarantee that the reason he’s up is something related to his sinking ship of a shop and Joja Mart’s hand in its downfall

Some nights he’ll just go off on a tangent about how big corporations shouldn't be allowed to exist and basically how it's not fair to more sustainable businesses like his

But most nights you two will just take in the night air of the town, taking in the serenity

After Pierre finishes his smoke he’ll come back to bed with you, holding you close as some form of comfort in an otherwise harsh reality

Sadly, if you’re the one up with insomnia, Pierre will hardly ever notice as he’s (for the most part) a heavy sleeper

But if he notices your absence from the bed, he’ll wait a few minutes before looking for you

He’ll first look in the bathroom, then the kitchen, and finally outside

The moment he finds you, he’ll put a hand on your shoulder and ask you why you’re not in bed

If it’s from anxiety? Buckle up because he’s going to sit you down (if you aren’t already sitting) to talk it out until he is sure you are okay

Believe it or not, he was the parent to stay up with Abigail when she couldn’t sleep at night

His dad-ishness sort of shines through in these moments

But he’ll talk you through things and calmly assure you everything will be fine

Once he manages to get you back to bed, he’ll hold you close if you let him

Despairingly, unlike Morris, he won’t be able to stay awake, let alone have the idea to stay up, until he knows you’re asleep. That man will be out like a light the moment his cheek hits his pillow and he pulls you into his arms

Rest assured, in the morning, if he even knew you had a sleepless night, he’ll be up early with breakfast and coffee ready-to-go!

[beepsparks]

Clock Tower headcanons because yes (feel free to use these for your own hcs for him I don’t mind)

This is gonna be long. Brace yourselves (also a lot of these are gonna involve the dolls in the attraction and theres gonna be MAD angst so uh beware. TW for mentions of (doll) child death I guess?) oh and im prob gonna be calling him Clockenspiel throughout this post as my design of him uses that name.

• He behaves like a father to the dolls in the ride. The animals in the ride are considered pets, too. (And last time I checked there’s approximately 240 doll children and 60 animals on the actual its a small world so idk?? Could be wrong)

• Clockenspiel’s mental state affects those of the dolls. If he’s normal, the dolls will be, too. However, when he’s gone insane, the dolls will act more strangely too.

• This also makes me imagine when Clockenspiel has COMPLETELY gone mad and the bossfight happens, (if there was singing in the game), the dolls would gather around atop parts of the arena like alley cats stalking a mouse (ha.) and sing.

• Clockenspiel has control over the attraction. Sure, gremlins and people can mess with parts of it, but the overall functions and mechanics are under his control. (So yes, he can suddenly turn off every light except one to bring a spotlight on you.)

• “Can a clock tower need therapy?” YES. The thinner disaster and being abandoned for presumably decades (plus the song getting stuck at a point an playing nonstop according to the junior novel for Epic Mickey) degraded Clockenspiel’s mental health BIG TIME. More on this later.

• Theres plenty of reasons why Clockenspiel completely lost his mind once Mickey entered the area for his bossfight, but a possible reason in my headcanons is a mix of several things; If Mickey destroyed any dolls (aka his technical CHILDREN) on his way to reaching him (making him reasonably PISSED), perhaps he knew Mickey was just gonna leave through the projector screen once he reached Clockenspiel (which would probably cause a reaction like “you people left me abandoned for SO, SO LONG. And finally, when I see another toon again, all you want to do is LEAVE? Just like that? AGAIN?!”), maybe his security protocols triggered, maybe he just snapped at the moment Mickey walked in, etc…

• In the paint route, Clockenspiel is alive, and back to his usual, friendly, gentle-giant self, but he’s still struggling with the trauma and mental issues he got. Bottles of thinner stress him out, he cannot be left alone at night during closing time or else he’ll get REALLY, REALLY anxious and stressed (so someone has to stay with him for the night so he can actually “sleep” or just generally relax and not lose his mind all paranoid about being abandoned again), he’s trying to recover though, be nice to him.

• In the thinner route, Clockenspiel eventually shuts down, and at a point, dissolves enough with the thinner and sinks to the bottom of the river. Oh, and I haven’t decided on what to choose yet, but either the dolls will scurry off away from the area where Mickey kills him (if the dolls were watching), or the dolls will simultaneously shut down with Clockenspiel.

• The rules of the attraction are his “house rules”, break any of these rules (or just generally be disrespectful and/or rude), and he will NOT be pleased. At all. Seriously, you don’t want a giant clock tower to be mad at you. Just be nice and behave lmao

• I haven’t seen much on Epic Mickey 2 so take this headcanon with a grain of salt, Small World (and Ostown I suppose) is the only area in Wasteland perfectly safe for children, so many who live on Mean Street bring their kids there, making Clockenspiel pretty much a children’s icon for the kids in Wasteland.

• Clockenspiel cares about children, and is actually pretty capable of babysitting (although he WILL judge someone if they’re being a bad parent.), he can even entertain people on his own, playing music (since he could possibly be a giant instrument), playing little games, storytimes… he’ll also teach kids how to sing its a small world, so uh. Sorry if suddenly a toon kid just starts singing it over and over.

• Some people are slightly hesitant to trust him at first, since he’s a huge animatronic with enormous fists that could be considered dangerous, but he’s harmless when theres no danger around or he isn’t crazy.

• He can hold his friends using his hands! He’s very gentle, there’s nothing to be worried about regarding that.

• When being built, once people realized he was sentient, they quickly gave him arms (because it’s only fair to let him have SOME movement besides his head tilting if he’s gonna be alive)

• Clockenspiel used to be far more energetic when he was first built, but had to be taught to be more gentle and careful so he’d stop accidentally scaring people with his more high energy (because y’know, he’s HUGE). Now, hes more soft-spoken, and more careful and precise with every single one of his movements.

• The toon “armor” on his arms can be taken off. But he has to be very careful when doing anything without those parts so he doesn’t damage himself. (Plus he generally prefers to have them on more because they add to his more colorful color palette)

• As implied by the Clocktower Cleaners comic, he is allergic to his own dust.

• You’re lucky he’s so friendly and gentle! In game, theres 3 ceiling props of a sun, and 2 clouds, and whenever the Clock Tower attacks, the props violently bounce. Meaning this man can cause SHOCKWAVES just by hitting his fists on the ground. Good lord.

• He’s good friends with the gremlins. His very tall walls forming the facade help protect Gremlin Village, and the Gremlins help repair Clockenspiel whenever he needs it. And in general they seem to be close. (Which. Hurts a lot now considering in the junior novel, when Mickey destroys the clock tower, the Gremlins simply cheer on Mickey for stopping him from destroying everything with his fists. And the fact they abandoned him for decades but hey. Everyone was kinda fending for themselves.)

Okay I think I’m done. I might edit this whenever though so keep that noted!!

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

demand avoidance

I'm finding that my sense of agency is deepening, allowing me to open up and experience novelty again.

For awhile I was only making decisions to avoid conflict. I couldn't figure out the patterns. It can be hard for me when I can't figure out the patterns. Especially when I can't feel what is behind them. My literal thinking will start kicking in and I'll begin believing everything to pick apart later.

I have a habit of over empathizing with other people's perspectives rather than my own. I'm used to being misunderstood and triggering people's projections. It's a thing. Luckily I'm learning it's a common thing with people on the spectrum. I'm learning how to protect my energy when that happens instead of succumbing to self-doubt in my character and my obsession with integrity.

I tell the truth directly, poetically, and I have six different metaphors I can use in any one situation. I'll dance around your feelings for a bit until I lose patience. Then there's lightning that strikes in multiple places and I apologize profusely once I have my temper back in check.

Today when something happened to the plan I was working tirelessly toward, I didn't crumble. I didn't even feel like doing it. I am impatient and confused and don't know how to move forward. I'm walking around in circles in the dark. But I have a deep sense of faith that I'll make it. Whatever is supposed to happen. Uncertainty isn't as scary anymore. I'm still proud I finished it. It was so hard. Today I was talking to my neighbor, whom I love dearly and have for over five years. That's a big connection for me. I usually attract people I end up having to walk away from, or accept when they walk away from me. Mitzi isn't like that. We don't talk every day, and she struggles to ask for help as much as I do. So we learn how to do it with each other. Like today, I was talking to her and my youngest son was on his four wheeler thing just going crazy. My hypervigilance kicked in because I was unconsciously tracking his actions, and trying to listen to her story, and damn it I literally had gone out to walk the dog so that I didn't have to pay attention to anything but walking in silence. I began getting upset and overwhelmed.

When I told Mitzi exactly how I felt, she nodded, and gave me a hug. I knew she saw me getting more and more agitated and she didn't blame me or take it personally. She said, gently, "You're okay. We'll talk soon."

I cut her off for six months one time for triggering me. Didn't talk to her at all after a couple years of friendship. Maybe it felt like a betrayal. When I went to her door after realizing my part in the situation, and the look she gave me was so hurt. So angry. Sometimes my cutoff game is way too strong. I explained to her what had triggered me, why my reaction was a bit too strong, and how I'd learn how to communicate better in the future. It sucked to hurt her, but I also knew that if she'd have come after me I'd have just pushed her away. Why we think emotional wounds are different than physical wounds I'll never know. Energy is energy, but it's all tissue in the fabric of the universe.

When I'm zooming around this place I'll feel how some emotions manifest in my body. There will be a tone of phrase or this feeling I get reading something that feels like, "I know better than you". Fuck you, you can't tell me anything. I'm open to anything until it makes me feel forced. Then spite shows up and there's nothing that sets my mind like spite. I can get anything done if it runs on spite or injustice. My heels dig in and suddenly there's no choice other to burn something. It's a habit I'm trying to soften. These kinds of emotions you have to tame, not control. I like the cover of my book. I like the layout of my book. The hard part is over - collecting and organizing all that linguistic alchemy. I had to fight so many versions of myself despairing over possible failure or meeting expectations help by me and a rare few. Now I feel like I put them to rest in those pages. It's nice. My core feels more solid. My sense of reality is more difficult to shake. I'm still frustrated because the date would have been a nice mirroring, but instead I'll say this was the date I finished it. Rejection is part of the process and I can still be a little sensitive to it. Life is for practicing though, right?

I'm glad my writing voice is coming back. It's kind of odd having a skillset that will abandon me if I abandon myself. Now I'm able to summon enough energy for prose, poetry, and the thoughts I want to remember, especially during this process. This experience is wild and so full of different kinds of emotion. I'm glad in a way I'll never forget it. I'm practicing detachment very well, especially when everything inside me hums with excitement about the future for the first time in a long while. I love every character I get to meet on here. I feel kind of silly for feeling so lost and being so confused, but my intuition will grasp something and I'll see all the threads for a moment. Then I'm confused again. I'm learning how to tread the waves. Ok, now I have to sleep. My oldest son rushed in because he had a nightmare that I was dying. I wasn't and I was able to reassure him. We talked about some things I'm glad I got to clarify for him. He told me he was a man at 11 and I didn't need to worry about his feelings or anything. I told him I was always going to worry a little bit, that was my sacred job, but I also knew he could handle things and figure things out. I thought it was really cool he wanted to protect me, and I also felt like he shouldn't have to worry about how I felt because I was the mom and I was supposed to protect him. So we decided to compromise and believe that our feelings mattered to each other and it was a good thing to share them together once in awhile so we could understand each other better. I think that's balance. Motherhood as a leadership role gets a lot more complicated the older he gets but I'm up to the challenge. He makes everything so easy. His heart is so gentle and maybe a little too self-sacrificing like mine. We'd bleed for anyone but get uncomfortable when someone bleeds for us. He finally fell asleep and I can feel how safe he feels in here. It makes me happy I make him feel safe. I need to remember that. Protecting him is a pleasure, not a burden, and it's a balance because I also have to let him learn how to protect himself too. See? Complicated. But he does make it easy.

Okay. Time for dreams and the people I visit in them.

[eccentric-nucleus]

the game-thing i'm working on is getting to the point where i'm thinking about writing dialog & i am once again thinking about how difficult good game writing is to do. games sometimes have enormous amounts of text but a lot of it is just like, 'seven paragraphs of lore-appropriate justifications for fetching me 10 rat asses' or whatever. this is not text that is really doing anything from a thematic standpoint.

(okay lots of people seem to like the ffxiv writing so maybe i should take a look at that. but i don't know anything about that)

'visions of mana' came out recently & that got me thinking about 'legend of mana', which was for a very long time my favorite game of all time, and now might only not be in top place because it's been like 20 years since i played it and i'm a very different person from who i was then. but legend of mana's writing was like, deeply formative for me? it's just such a weird game. the main character is utterly uninvolved in all of the main quests. there are three separate main quests that are completely unrelated to each other, and you only need to complete one to trigger the end of the game. there are all these sidequests about the interiority of random villagers. more than any other game i've played, legend of mana reminds me of a fairy tale? some of the quests are just weird. there's a multi-part quest about a depressed kid who kills himself and is taken away to the underworld! there's a short, simple quest where a crazed mage is trying to get a world-destroying power that will make the stars fall, and when he gets it it's a fireworks display, and he's like "...oh", and then this never comes up again when you talk to him afterwards. he's a teacher at the magician's academy. there's such a broad spread of what a quest might be like that it's kind of impossible to tell where any one might go.

so, the mana series as a whole kind of has a recurring theme: mana power supports life. every time mana power resurges, in the form of the mana tree growing again, there are huge wars over who gets to control the flow of mana power. horrible death weapons get created to fight in those wars. civilizations are destroyed and the fighting only really stops when the mana tree is inevitably burned down. 'mana power' is kind of a representation of... the totality of existence. everything good and bad that people could possibly want. the final dungeon of legend of mana is the mana tree itself, verdant outside and consumed by luminous rot inside. the final boss is the mana goddess herself.

anyway visions of mana starts with the premise that there are all these little bucolic towns peaceably living together, and every so often they pick a random person in the town to go on a quest that ends with them being sacrificed at the mana tree, which consumes their soul. a little low-stakes compared to the mana tree's usual civilization-destroying power-struggle antics, but sure okay. the mana tree can absolutely be an evil soul-sucking thing. but it's so clearly poised for some mid-game reveal about something, & i'm concerned it's gonna go in a "actually we don't need to do all the sacrifice stuff" direction, & that would be kinda disappointing. "is a peaceful idylic existence worth the sacrifice of an innocent person", etc. something something those who walk away from omelas something something cursed child etc. it's a big swing to take! and i really do not have faith in a videogame to pull off something actually philosophical these days.

all that is to say i was thinking of replaying legend of mana for writing ideas but tbh i have no clue if it'll hold up.

[shinmiyovvi]

can I ask 💛 and 🌙 for your main ocs :33 (the yellow oc ask)

Hello, Janilee! Hope you're doing well 💖 It's been awhile since I receive an asks for the ask game so I'm going to try my best to answer it. Since there are no specifications about which from the main ocs or if it's Primis or Ultimis, I will add both of them instead!

The questions are:

💛 (yellow heart) - What's your character's thoughts about friendship? Do they have a lot of friends? What do they like about their friends?

🌙 (cresent moon) - Does your character have a moral code or a set of rules they have for themselves? If so, what made them adopt these morals or ideals? If not, why?

Valena

💛: Both Ultimis and Primis have friends that they can rely on. They considered friendship as a found family, a family that they feel like they belong there. A family that they can put their trust on and share their feelings and struggles.

🌙: Both also have their own moral codes/set of rules that they always follow. Their top 1 rule is to "Always believe in yourself". Even if they struggled to survive, they still continue to believe in themselves that they can get through any hardships in amidst of chaos.

Ji Eun

💛: Ultimis has some friends with her that she could trust despite being shy around them. Like Valena, she considers friendship as a found family that she is comfortable to share her thoughts, feelings, and many more. Primis, on the other hand, somehow has fewer friends compared to her Ultimis counterpart. She is more cautious about making friends due to her past and the rumor of Ji eun being the daughter of her mother and a different father. Her perspective of friendship is somehow about trust but there are uncertainties of when will that friendship last as she can sense betrayal in those types of things. In Ji eun's case, they must earn her trust first before she could befriend them.

🌙: Both have suffered from their own respective struggles, with Ultimis being harassed and becoming a comfort woman during WW2 and Primis struggling with discrimination against the Japanese and experiencing existential crisis about her life. But, both Ultimis and Primis have their own moral codes and either of them follows the saying "Never give up". With their lives in shambles and on a brink of losing hope, they still have the courage to carry on despite the obstacles they are facing.

Arthur

💛: Both Ultimis and Primis considered their friends as brothers in arms and a family. According to them, friendship is all about the memories that you have with your friends as you can reminisce them together. Primis has doubts about his friendship with his best friends if they will last longer like they have promised him. But Archie (Primis) knows that he cam trust his friends that their friendship will last longer than they would expected to be.

🌙: Both has their respective moral codes that they follow. "Love yourself" is one of their favorite rules that they always have in mind. They may tend to be harsh on themselves, but since this rule is also an advice from their mothers, they kept repeating it until both Ultimis and Primis feels much better from all the self depreciation that the have inflicted on themselves.

Dragomir

💛: Like Arthur and Valena, Miro (Primis) tends to see his friends or simply about friendship, focuses about trust, memories, family, and many more. But with Ultimis, he once have friends before until he lost all of them because of WW2 and his emotions fading. He didn't considered his allies as friends as this would give him the memories of his lost friends. But, Drago (Ultimis) considered friendship as companionship to one another even if he lost them in the past.

🌙: Ultimis' moral code is only to survive. After he lost his loved ones, he lost the feeling of every single emotions that he once have which there's a possibility he is experiencing alexithymia due to his PTSD being triggered. But, Drago wants to feel those emotions again, even if it means having the courage to approach someone who can help him with his problem. Primis on the other hand, also has morals that he follows like everyone else. Being responsible and understanding are one of his main morals that he uses in his life.

[millenari]

2 for wip ask game? Time travel is a crazy concept

Number 2, the timetraveling 7kittens au! This one is inspired by the 'pulled seven kittens out of a hat' line from Misto's song that people often hc to mean that Misto is trans and has given birth to kittens before. This au is an offshoot of Gold Rush, in which only a few elements are changed (most notably that Misto is trans). The story starts when, one night on the junkyard (perhaps only a year or two prior to the events of the show) a group of seven kittens come trotting into the junkyard, claiming to be Tugger and Misto's litter from the future. The kittens have no idea how they got stuck in the past (and had no idea they'd even moved through time at first) so Misto and the others are stuck taking care of the little guys while all the resident magical cats try to put their heads together and figure out how the litter got there, and why. I don't want to call this story 'dark' but it could be severely triggering for some people, because it has a lot to do with Misto struggling with dysphoria due to his heats and the idea of becoming pregnant in the future. The concepts of choice and fate and destiny and such are tossed around a lot, and Misto spends a lot of time struggling with the feeling of having no control of his body. He has to wrestle with these feelings all the while he grows fonder and fonder of the kittens he'd initially resented, and also has to re-evaluate his relationship to Tugger along the way. And if all of that wasn't complicated enough, one kitten of the litter in particular, Victor, is a little too much like Misto for his own good. Or at least, Misto thinks so. Another way too long summary. Anyways, snippet:

Misto waves his paws a little, incredulous. “Don’t you want to know if you actually make your own choices?”

“No. Because I know I do.” Reaching over, Tugger rips a small chunk off of Misto’s fish, and then proceeds to chuck it across the clearing. He’s lucky it’s empty right now, or he would’ve probably hit someone.

“Tugger!” Misto barks, taken aback.

“See? I just chose to do that. I know that for a fact.”

“And if every existing— existing universal iteration of you did that exact same thing at this exact same time? Is it still you choosing?”

“Yes. You know how I know?”

“How?” Misto sighs.

“Because I chose to. Just now.” When Misto groans again and leans back against the crate behind him, Tugger smugly adds, “Put that one in your diary.”

“Do you really not care about any of this?”

“What? Destiny? No. A bunch of shit happens and then we get reborn into a new life. And then a bunch of shit happens again. Repeat for eternity. We’re cats, Misto, how much does any of this matter?”

“Because I want to know where I’m headed!” Misto exclaims up at the stars, gesturing at his chest. “I want to know if there’s any point in fighting against— my destiny, or my future, or whatever.”

“You don’t need to ‘fight’ your destiny at all, Misto.”

“That’s easy for you to say!” Misto exclaims, sitting up to look over at Tugger. “You were born in the right body! All I fucking do is try to work against what the universe hands me, and if there’s a possibility that there’s no point in it and I have no say—”

“Then what?” Tugger asks wryly. “You’ll just stop?”

Misto pauses. He scratches his nose before admitting, “Well. No.”

“There you go. Just do your thing, Misto.” He leans back against the crates, folding his arms behind his head. “Who cares about destiny and shit.”

[jeweled-blue-eyes]

Do you have an idea how to introduce the otome isekai universe without infodumping? I struggle to start my light novel for this reason right now.

What a difficult question. That's probably something you should try asking an actual writer but I will try to answer it.

I don't think there is definite answer to this. You could include an omnicent narrator that explains why some things the mc does trigger certain events even through mc themselves do not know the reason for it or you could use multiple povs of characters that are from this world and pick up on MC's odd behaviour and silently explain why the things they do are wrong. You could drop clues and let the readers deduce. Imagine what the protagonist's daily schedule looks like and which tasks allow you enough space to incorporate information easily and naturally. For example if they shop for groceries you have a chance to describe the streets: Are there many beggars at the marketplace? possibly even cripples from which you can conclude if there has been a war recently and how the city deals with orphans and people in need of medical aid. Is there a food shortage or do they sell many exotic luxury goods from all over the world? how wealthy and multicultural is the place where they live? how wealthy are they? do they have enough money for their food or must they learn how to become a good bargainer? the mc could compliment the seller's fluffy ears and horns but it has the opposite effect, suddenly the seller gets angry and chases mc away and that's how we learn that they misunderstood and some people experience discrimination because of their belonging to a certain species.

How do children learn about this world? By observation, imitation, trial and error and having conversations with you about the things they observe. Just like how children shouldn't be struck in one place, I think especially an isekaied hero shouldn't spend their time in their mansion all day. Travelling is important. Exchange with a diverse set of people who uphold different beliefs and morals is important. You could have the mc's nurse or their mother tell them creation myths about the world and later a teacher dispute it, have a short scene of children replaying the story of a famous hero and running into mc because they were so caught up in their game, you could have the mc visit a library or tavern and make them eavesdrop on an academic argument between two professors while skimming a book in boredom, have a travellor ask mc for the way and make him a little bit too chatty about his journey and his goals. Heck, they could pretend to be an immigrant in order to get all the information of the country they live in without arousing any suspicion (which would probably lead to trouble and they could run into the law enforcers but that only offers more chances to explain how the country works and how particulary friendly it is when dealing with outsiders and perceived threats). Should they land in prison somehow they'd have a chance to get to know what society considers criminals and how they treat them, witness an interrogation, maybe torture, an execution...but also the pure honesty of people who are about to be sentenced to death.

I know contract engagements are so overdone but nothing teaches someone about another world's language and culture like falling in love with a person or a piece from said place. You could try to insert your mc into another family through an engagement. They could have an affair. But you could try to be less cliche about it and have the mc care for their elderly grandmother instead or their sick mother in law, the children etc while the bridegroom to be is away on an educational trip or a business trip overseas.

Not every information you give has to be correct and it's more fun as a reader to theorize before something is revealed to have been correct or false. You should probably write a sheet that shows all the important information at a glance for reference.