#my strong will is both my best trait and my worst trait

[jinglejanglemornings]

i know i am an extremely willful person at the best of times (which this is not) but i also feel like treatment centers are all this is the rule because it’s the rule and if you say like. what if it wasn’t and what if xyz was actually more helpful in this moment/to my recovery overall it’s like. no 💜 practice flexibility 💜

[totallybakedcake]

Teaser

Kissing them and running away

Leno/ Reno

You chuckled as Reno got dressed and prepared to go to Kafka's birthday. He was clumsily wearing his suit. Dropping things here and there, checking himself in the mirror, and trying to be confident. It was hilarious. Suddenly, you had a fun idea.

As Reno was putting his shoes on, you ran towards him and tackled him in a hug. He smiled, pulling you deeper into his embrace. "Name. I will be back soon. Do your best in training." He stroked your hair as he patted your back and pulled away.

"I will, but first this." Wrapping your hands around his neck, you pulled him in for a kiss. Sliding your tongue effortlessly in his mouth as he had no time to react to your tease.

In a second, you pulled away, wiping off the trail of saliva on your mouth as you ran away, speaking, "I will do better in training now! Love ya"

Reno was flabbergasted with your move. His entire face was practically a tomato. "Name, I will get you back for this." He thought to himself as he walked away, still a flushed mess.

Hoshina

Hoshina is the definition of a boyfriend who is different outside and inside. You somewhat understood his professionalism, but sometimes it got on your nerves. He never even gave you a peck on the lips or cheek before a mission, always stayed away from you when in the defense force, and heck, even slaps your hand away when you even try to hold it when you both are outside the building returning home. Whenever you both are at home, he does not leave you alone and makes you flustered every single time.

It was time for revenge on him.

You pulled Kafka and Leno to the side. Clearing your throat and trying to muster up a serious voice, you spoke. "Since you two are the newbies in my platoon and are quite shy, I need your help."

Kafka and Leno side-eyed themselves, preparing for the worst as you said your plan.

They were blushing, to say the least; sweat trickled down their foreheads, but they knew they couldn't decline you as their platoon leader.

You walked to Hoshina, trying to cover the smirk that was already threatening to come out. It is the time Hoshina would train with the others, train himself as well, and later present something to the higher-ups, and you would visit the fourth division.

Perfect timing

"Hoshina fuk-taicho!" Speaking in a low tone, Soshiro looked at you with a confused look. "Wha-" You suddenly pulled him close, kissing him with passion. You licked his lips before quickly sliding your tongue in. Letting him taste the cake you had eaten before.

Soshiro's eyes were wide open, and his body didn't even move an inch. Just as you pulled away, he was back on Earth. Desperately wiping off the saliva as you ran up to Kafka and Leno speaking.

"Kafka, this is how you will kiss Captain Ashiro in the future, and Leno, this is how you will kiss your future girlfriend. Thanks!" Kafka covered his face in guilt as Leno fell to his knees. They looked at Soshiro, who was dazzled by the strong and passionate kiss. His face had just a shocked look as the tips of his ears were red as he took urgent steps, wanting to delete that CCTV footage.

I swear in God's name. You will be punished.

Gen

Gen. Narumi being told to be an arrogant captain and a terrible patner was a big fat lie. He is the sweetest boyfriend you could ask for. One of his funny traits is that sometimes he is the most flustered person ever when you pull a stunt on him that catches him off guard.

Today was when you pulled another stunt on the Narumi Gen.

"Ah, name, do you know I have to go to a boring ass meeting with all the captains and others even though we have nothing important to talk about? Geez, I feel bad there." Gen spoke in a complaining tone. You knew you had to do something about that.

Narumi was buckling up, wearing his uniform, applying his perfume, and wearing what he wears. It was time to do it.

"Gen~" That awfully sweet voice came out as Narumi turned around and looked at you normally. "Huh?"

You ran towards him and crashed your lips on his. You cupped his face as you explored through his mouth at a quick pace. Gen just let you do your thing. He tried to cup your face, but you pulled away, dashing towards the door and screaming, "Hopefully this cheers you up!"

"What." Narumi was just left there dumbfounded; he felt upset that he wasn't fast enough to react, pull you away, or pull you closer, like his mind had a short circuit.

Bonus-

Everyone in the meeting room was shocked to see Gen. Narumi without games or even speaking. Just sitting there, lost in thoughts and all serious.

"Commander Narumi?" Everyone called out to him, concerned that they were starting to take over.

"Narumi, what happened? You don't seem normal, if that's how to put it."

"Oh, nothing. I am just planning revenge on someone, nothing else. Continue."

It was the first time people saw a different side of Narumi Gen.

Reno

"Name?" Hoshina and Ashiro called out to you. They walked towards you with a troubled look. "Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?"

"Are you okay, Name?" Hoshina spoke, placing a hand on your shoulder as he looked at you from head to toe. "Your heart rate is pretty uneven today, shooting up to 152 and even higher. That never happens, even in tougher training."

You couldn't hold it, but a laugh escaped your lips. "I am very sorry. There is something I have many feelings about and can't stop thinking about. I will be more careful next time. See you tomorrow, Captain and Vice Captain!"

"Captain, I am sorry to say this, but sometimes she makes me scared." "Don't worry, Hoshina, me too."

Sorry for the late upload I am getting so stressed with everything and blah blah. Got to write 10 more stories/fics and even more so if anyone wants Kafka, Mina, Haruichi , Iharu and Isao. Wait some more for part 2! Hopefully this post ain't too bad and THANKS A BUNCH! for 1k likes, I really didn't expect it would happen so soon thank you!

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 5 MATCH 3

Elliott propaganda:

“Just look at him. Pure hunk energy.”

“I will punch anyone who dislikes him. He’s like a fire emblem character in the modern day. He’s so flamboyant and handsome, he can play the piano and he’s best friends with the old fishing man!”

“dramatic writer man with sexy hair”

"Since I like elliott. I will state some reasons why I like him

Imagine if Mr. Darcy didn’t insult your family first time you met him, that’s Elliott. The man who’s basically the hallmark romance love interest. He’s a writer who moves to the small town in the country side to find inspiration for his writing. Then he finds the farmer.

He has a crab living in his pocket

He can play the piano (hopefully it isn’t the river flows in you however)

His fans sometimes hc him as a merman and that’s just a major plus IMO

He genre of the book he writes is dependent on what genre you say you like.

He also sends letters to you if you marry him

Okay and also some things I dislike

His liked gifts, the easiest one is pomegranates, which cost like 6000g to grow a tree if you don’t pick the fruit cave. I AM NOT GETTING SQUID INK IN YEAR ONE FOR YOU.

he might be British /j

The fact he has no kitchen but still likes food like lobster, like he is just a mystery. Lives in a cabin, with no kitchen, no washroom (okay no character has a washroom), but still likes the most fancy food out there and has luscious hair worthy of a L’Oréal ad.

Gifting him on rainy days when you don’t have two hearts"

Dimitri propaganda:

“He's chivalrous, he's blood thirsty, all rolled up into one package and calling you "his beloved". Get you a man who can do both.”

“My husband <3 He's schizophrenic just like me and I love him for that.”

"First, look at him. No disrespect to the monster lovers, but even if blonde, blue-eyed hunks aren't your thing, you can't deny that Dimitri is very pretty.

Second, one of the things I love most about Dimitri is how self aware he is of his privilege as a prince (or king) and how seriously he treats the gravity of his position. He has a strong sense of duty and wants to be a good leader who listens to and provides for the needs of all of his people. This includes the citizens of Duscur, who were nearly wiped out by his own countrymen in (mistaken) retaliation for his father's murder. His commitment to righting this wrong is one of his primary goals in life.

Third, while he is more than capable of crushing a man's skull with his bare hands, under normal circumstances he absolutely wouldn't. A large part of the reason why his fall is so shocking and devastating to witness is because by the time he snaps, we know that Dimitri is actually a kind and gentle soul who hates violence and understands that even his enemies are human. Even at his worst point he still recognizes this, which feeds into his extreme self loathing. He extends compassion and forgiveness to others but struggles mightily to allow himself any forbearance for his own mistakes. He's kind quite literally to a fault, as his empathy is both his greatest strength AND his biggest flaw and I find that as heartwarming as it is heartbreaking."

"Okay first for all the "he needs therapy haha funny" (and its annoying corollary "I can fix him") comments, 1) don't we all? And 2) you can't romance him til end game when he is in a much healthier place due to his own choice to change his priorities and the support of you and his friends. He battles daily with severe mental illness in a repressed society that doesn't talk about it. And on multiple occasions tells people that it is okay to feel your feelings and offers support despite his own struggles (I include that bc that is a date able trait to me). If he's not your fave that's cool, but leave the ableist language out of it pretty please 💙💙 Okay reasons he should be your boyfriend now!!

He calls you his beloved and wants to hold your hand 🥺

His happiest moments in game are when you smile

And in conclusion, he is shaped like a dorito and has a huge cloak to snuggle you up in"

[nomoreusername]

The Fandom Versions of TMR Characters

The TMR fandom is amazing. It has a significant number of great people. It has some very talented editors and writers.

However, like every fandom with a good following, it has its issues. One of its worst ones is honestly one of the most obnoxious things one can have in my opinion.

It has awful mischaracterization. It's less of completely changing a character's personality and more of going off one trait and making that all that they are.

It feels like Thomas gets portrayed as an idiot who only asks questions or doesn't ever listen to anyone. He also gets called overrated even though he's the main character of the series.

We first get introduced to him when he's a Greenie with no memory (except for his name in the books). Of course he’s going to want to know what is happening to him. The Glader's start out revealing very little to not intimidate the Greenie's which has to be frustrating. While it is clear he wants to figure almost everything out throughout the series, that's a very human trait. He’s also definitely not stupid. WCKD/WICKED picked him to work with them because they saw something in him. He is incredibly intelligent and quick on his feet. A lot of the time, he’s given no notice to make a decision. He just has to make it. Whether it's running into the Maze to save Minho and Alby, having to decide whether or not to go through with Newt’s note, or going back to the place that started all the pain and torture, he wasn't truly given time to prepare for such important and life-changing decisions. Despite this, he always did his best to make them.

Newt probably has the worst fanbase. I love him as a character. He’s been through so much and is still doing his best to keep everyone in line and afloat which is extremely admirable.

The problem is that people water his character down. They’ll treat him as though he isn't a Second-in-command, the second longest surviving Glader, a suicide survivor, and resilient to the most dangerous situations.

Newt is not someone who would need protection. If anything, he was a protector. He would have to do things such as banish Gladers (his friends), to protect the other ones. He was a Runner before he got a limp. He stood up to Thomas in the movies when he thought he was just being paranoid, showing that even though he does love his friends, he isn't afraid to confront them if he thinks they are wrong. The way he still remains loyal to the people he loves when he does though, is another trait that deserves more acknowledgement. He went out of his way in the movies to hide that he was slowly dying in front of everyone’s eyes and losing his mind just for Minho. He never expected to make it but didn't care. In the books, he lied to his friends about being taken to protect them from himself. He’s so strong, self aware and beautifully written.

Minho is sarcastic and does have witty comebacks. However, he’s so much more than that.

He was the Keeper of the Runners. For around three years he was not only doing the most deadly job, but training others to do it as well. He wasn't allowed to have fear or be weak in the Maze. Not when the cost would have been his life. Something more complex about him is the way he covers up his actual emotions. During Chuck's death in the movies everyone else is allowing their tears to fall. However, he closed his eyes so he wouldn't cry. Whether it's because he doesn't want to cry in front of people or just doesn't want to cry is uncertain, but both are painful to think about. Another thing about him is very subtle character development. When he first gets caught in the Maze, not only does he give up at first, he at one point leaves Thomas and Alby behind, showing his intense desperation to live despite him wanting to stay realistic. In the last two movies we don't see any other instances of him being willing to accept defeat or leaving others behind. While he may have been given the tag ‘the leader' it isn't something that could ever or should ever be denied about him.

His bond with Newt is also something that honestly deserves more recognition. From the way he dropped to his knees in the movies to how Thomas didn't tell him how he really died due to how much the two cared for each other, they are nothing less than platonic soulmates.

Gally gets a lot of hate. He’s seen as angry and ‘that character who killed Chuck’. In a lot of ways though, I think he's one of the most logical, relatable, and realistic characters.

While some people think he just randomly hated Thomas and Teresa, that's not at all true. In the movies, he seems civilized with him when they first meet. While his action of shoving him before he could go into the Maze may have seemed performative, the fear was most likely needed for Thomas to grasp the gravity of the situation. He can also be seen shaking hands with Thomas in Greenie night after the fight. In the books, he went through the changing. He was stung so he got some of his memories back the way Alby did. He told Thomas that he recognized him from those which was why he was suspicious towards him. His concerns were valid. Everything did change after Thomas and Teresa, and a lot of Gladers ended up dead. At one point, they had both worked for WICKED/WCKD. Something was up with them, the exact way he said there was. If someone came to my home and changed everything I knew I wouldn't trust them either. He cared for the Gladers and wanted the people he lived with for years to stay safe and be alive. He didn't want to just kill Teresa and Thomas. He wanted things to go back to how they were in a sense. He was afraid of leaving his home. He was afraid of change, the way so many people are.

He didn't kill Chuck. He would never hurt Chuck. In the books, WICKED had both him and Chuck under their control. In the movies, he was stung, meaning his actions did not belong to him. Even then, he was not aiming for the sweet kid. He was aiming for Thomas, who in his mind at the time, was one of the ones who had started him and his friends years of pain and suffering.

Movie Aris is my favorite. He is very sweet but the way people will describe him as innocent is wrong.

I do consider him and book Aris two different characters. So for now, this is strictly about him in the movies.

He’s seen alone when we first meet him. His friends are gone, and people are talking about him like a circus animal so it makes sense why he wouldn't want to be around anyone. He’s generally quieter than a lot of the main characters so he can get mistaken for just a background character. However, he literally got everyone out of WCKD. He never got any recognition for saving them, but he still did. When he does open his side of the door for everyone to get out there is at least one unconscious, previously armed guard on the ground, with his weapon now being held in his hand. This shows that he is capable of taking care of himself despite his at first glance passive demeanor. He knows to break the control pad to buy everyone time and books it. What must be less than an hour later, he’s helping take down Cranks with a single bat, also showing quick thinking from the way he knows to trip them so they could focus on getting away. Not to mention, he’s doing all of this after finding out his friend (and possible lover) is going to die. On a lighter note, we see his face light up and how much he talks with Sonya and Harriet when they all meet again, showing that he's not afraid of speaking to others. He just has a few and specific group of people he feels comfortable actually talking with, which is literally just being an introvert.

All of those are why he is not innocent or in need of saving. He knows how to look after himself and others.

That's just the basics of The Maze Runner fandom's mischaracterization problem.

[barbwritesstuff]

I find it really funny that my blood moon mc was all calculating and level-headed, but my vampire mc is super brash and makes the worst possible decisions (and is also pretty cheeky while werewolf mc leaned more towards dry humor) even though stereotypically werewolves are hot-headed and vampires are calculating. How set are the mc personalities? Because it felt kind of natural to go this route based on the first couple chapters in each book. They really feel like their own separate developed characters. Are there any notable differences in how you write their personalities?

I never intended to give the MCs their own distinct personalities. I tried really hard to write them as 'blank slates' so players could project their own characters onto them.

However, I found it impossible to leave them entirely blank. I can't write a story starring a character I know literally nothing about.

And so, I gave them both a couple of non-negotiable traits. Things that allowed me to give the character presence in a scene, while leaving enough up to the reader to decide.

Blood Moon's MC is:

Competent, caring, and has killer cheekbones. They're clever enough to puzzle things out and aren't afraid to use some rougher language to get their point across (hence the fuck fuck fuckity fuck moments). Blood Moon's MC also has a dry, witty sort of intelligence which allows them to be a little sassy, if the player wants to choose those options.

Thicker Than's MC is:

A touch more pessimistic, persuasive (going to far as to be manipulative if the player chooses certain options), and pretty damn smart. They're much more likely to think strategically and to react to situations quickly. However, they're not as steady as Blood Moon's MC is, reacting more emotionally at times. They also have mummy issues.

Which, now that I think about it, pairs well with Blood Moon MC's potential daddy issues.

Thicker Than's MC also has their own fuck fuck fuckity fuck moment which I'm not taking out no matter how many times people point it out.

Anyway, all this to say, I never intended for these characters to even really be characters, but they sort of emerged as characters despite my best intentions. The player's choices still matter a lot though. Both MCs can be shy, sassy, suave, or strong-silent-types, depending on what the player chooses. They can focus more on problem solving or interpersonal connections. They can try to be leaders in their communities or stick to the sidelines.

Part of the magic of writing IF is I can see all the different ways these characters could go... and I love hearing what players thought and felt while making those chooses, filling in the blanks of those characters.

[legend-the-dumb-jock]

I'm asking for a big favor.

My life is a waste! Everyone knows it. I'm not smart. I'm not good-looking. I have no friends. And, the only girls that look at me are the ones trying to look past my fat-ass body to see whatever I'm blocking. I'm a senior in high school with no future.

My dad will want me to go to community college. He'd even pay for it and support me to eventually going to an actual university. But, he just doesn't understand I'm a lost cause. I've started thinking my youth would be better suited to someone else. Someone who wouldn't waste the opportunities youth can bring.

Then I began to think ... no one is a better candidate than my dad. He had me in his mid 20's. My mom died soon after I was born. Being a single dad, his only focus was to raise me. Any dreams he had for himself were buried with my mother.

But, I guess I let them both down. My dad is the opposite of me. Now, in his 40s, his body is still strong. He has some pudge from age. He is smart and charming. If he'd get a do over, he'd make the most of it. Sometimes, he'd talk about plans he'd have but then shuts up. I guess he doesn't want to make me feel worse considering the bullying at school. The worst part is how much he actually wants the best for me. But I can't do anything right.

I hope this is not too hard. My dad already has all the good traits. The only main thing I want swapped is our ages. And, maybe a reality swap. I'd be his dad. I'd support him financially somehow. I'll drive him to his football games. And, then to college. He'd vist me, and I'll see how good his life turned out. And, eventually, when he is ready again ... I'll see his new ... hopefully better children. My grandchildren.

That seems easy enough. You want your dad to notice his glory days. And while you said he had you in his 20s why not restart the clock right then?

It’s a week before you are going to college and it’s already seemed like it’s been so long since you made this wish. You’re about to turn 19 and you even forget that you made this wish before until your father gives you a hug as you’re packing your bags getting for college. A weird electric shock goes through both of younger you touch. It was odd. Before you know you’re both saying goodbye and you get in the car and head off going to hang out with some friends for the night.

That night you feel ill. Every part of your body aches and your sweating. Ignoring that your father has messaged you asking if you’re feeling alright because he himself is feeling bad too. You taken a few shots and hope that is makes the feeling go away but it doesn’t do anything to make the feeling go away.

The next day you get up and you’re not feeling any better. If anything you are feeling worse. Granted you did drink enough to paralyze a horse last night. You go home and your dad is waiting there but he looks different. He looks…younger…he stops and looks at you. And just says “how’re you feeling bud..”. Fine fine your tell him. And he I just follows you around like sick puppy. Finally you snap demanding to know what it is. And finally he says. “Look in the mirror…I don’t know what’s happening but I started feeling sick last night and I woke up feeling great ! And I have a feeling…you feel bad. And I don’t think it’s because of the alcohol…”

You look in the mirror and you’re shocked. Staring back you is the reflection of someone who is definitely not about to turn 19. It’s more of a reflection of someone who is about to turn 29! A thick mustache rested over your lip. You could see shoulder hair creep long over your back and a thick mat of a chest hair forming. Wrinkles were staring to form at the edges of your eyes.

“What’s happening to me!!” You demand to know but your dad is quiet. You demand to know but he tells you he doesn’t know. But isn’t possible that he looks even younger now that he did when you first got home!! What the hell was going on!! It was like you two were swapping ag….and then it hit you….”oh no…no no no!!!!” And then you admitted to your father. How you made that wish a long time ago. That you felt like a failure and wished for him to be able to live out his youth and you wished to swap your ages. He was so supportive. But it was so odd. Coming from a man that looked younger than you now. “So what do we do?” He asked. You didn’t know yet. You really didn’t know what to think about the whole thing. You being forced to become older and he younger. A permanent age swap !

Your clothes quickly stopped fitting as your father’s clothes became a better fit. Even his shoes. It only made sense for you to retire to each others bedrooms at night. You even developed his habits without wanting to. Smoking. Drinking a 6 pack of beer during the day. By the end of the week you were no longer hesitant on the swap. You were living it to the max. You had become hairier and older. Aging to 43 and balding and even deviling a slight beer belly. You were the dad and treating your new son as he needed to be treated.

The difference was that you knew your son was going to have some confidence issues so you had to make sure that you being the alpha of the family were going to keep him in line. When you dropped your son off at college you took him to the wrestling coach and made him sign up for the team. He was going to be an all star. He needed to live out your dreams after all. He had some big shoes to fill and you were going to sure he filled them and he worked hard to do it.

[rainbowchaox]

QSMP! Missa Character Analysis and How it Relates To Pissa

This is like the twin post to the Philza character analysis and how it relates to pissa. If anyone wants to know about how QSMP! Philza as a character and how that relates to pissa. I recommend checking out that post. Everyone really loved that post so I wanted to do a twin post of sorts focusing on our favorite wet cat Missa. Special thanks to @pepper-mintzyy my fandom demon on my shoulder.

Now I was personally introduced to him in Qsmp so I have no prior knowledge about any lore or character traits he had in other series. So I’m just getting my analysis only from Qsmp! Missa. Missa at his core is kind. I would even say too kind at times. He easily believes and forgives those he shouldn’t. He is kind to everyone. Everyone but himself.

Missa is also primarily driven by his emotions. Not in a bad way. His emotions just bleed out like Ink for better or for worse. Unlike Phil his emotions are the primarily driving force behind his actions. And this isn’t a bad thing. Of course Missa will find Phil more logical and calm approach to things comforting and attractive. Phil is a calm balm and his security blanket. Missa always feels safe with Philza.

Missa also has some baggage from his first week or so involving Spreen and Roier. He had no clue what was actually was happening. And he didn’t want to choose between them. This led to them both leaving him by himself. So of course he was a tad depressed before meeting Phil. And you could say he fell instantly.

Phil was his opposite in a good way. But both are similar when it mattered. Phil is honest, kind, spoils the heck out of Missa, and just cared so much. So of course Missa fell for the man instantly. I’m 100% sure the first day they got chayanne is when Missa began crushing hard on his government assigned husband.

Sadly the fact about Missa as a character is despite being surrounded by his family and husband that cares so much about him and literally will kill anyone that hurts him emotionally or physically (looking at you chayanne numero uno shipper and protector of the pissa nation). He still believes he is unworthy of them. Despite them loving Missa just the way he is. He doesn’t realize he doesn’t have to change or impress.

He is a tangle of insecurities. Any mistake he does is the worst thing. Any criticism he receives is the truth. He loves Phil and his family so he wants to be better for them. He wants to be one they can rely on when things get rough. He wants to protect them even if he isn’t the best at things. He wants to try. And I think Phil loves that about him.

Like I previously said up above. Phil and Missa are opposites but similar in the way it matters. Both Missa and Phil are loyal to a fault. The only other loyal as hell pair in the server is the actual canon married couple. They both also want the best for their family and they both love so deeply. They both just want each other and their family to be safe.

But also Philza only feels safe with Missa. Philza main trait is his paranoia but when Phil is with Missa it’s like the things previous that worried him is nothing next to Missa. Missa is Philza comfort. Philza adores Missa and how comforting and sweet he is. And of course Missa who is emotional (will sob at anything and everything) fell in love first. But like I said in the Philza post. Philza adores him as much as Missa adores him. He just doesn’t verbalize it.

Meanwhile Missa would gladly scream he loves philza from the mountain tops of Philza was okay with that. He would gladly call Philza attractive and the best if he didn’t fear coming on too strong or making his beloved uncomfortable. (We already talked in length about why Philza isn’t used to being vulnerable and fully admitting he loves Missa in the Philza post).

Unlike a certain Brazilian Missa will never even dare think of taking away Philza agency. He loves Philza because he is Philza. And Missa is so kind that despite his love for the man if Philza ever rejects him he would accept. In fact he has kept most of his affections a secret because he doesn’t want to make philza uncomfortable. The fact is everyone can see the two of them are in love but them.

But we all know the truth. Phil adores Missa with his whole heart. He loves Missa so much. And I do think Missa knows on some level. But he doesn’t want to push the issue. Again because he is so kind and understanding. At the moment he is just happy to be in Phil’s presence. Whether it’s under a charade of a platonic marriage or not. He is just happy to be with Phil. And others may say he is not the best for Phil and his family because he was gone for so long. But the fact is Missa never stopped tying to come back home. He was literally kidnapped for months. And the only reason he went out in the first place was to get Phil a gift. And Phil knows this so of course he stayed loyal and accepted him back no hesitation. Missa always will love Phil. Even if Philza doesn’t love him back. And isn’t true love when you don’t expect it be returned and you love him anyways? (Philza loves him so much. It’s just too dangerous to say it. But Philza wants to so badly)

[universaln0b0dy]

I'm not special (Rengoku Kyojuro x fem! Reader)

《Summary 》: You were known for being shy and akward, but polite nonetheless and being a village simpleton. Not incredibly pretty, nor talented at anything, so how come you snagged a Hashira?

《Note》: So the reader is insecure. (Cringe nicknames Ig)

Rengoku Kyojuro:

It was a wonder to say the least. Your parents had already given up the thought of ever seeing you married, but the man with the colourful hair saved them that sadness.

You had met him a few times, the first time was when he saved the village and a few times after, though you weren't sure if that was enough to consider you a possible bride.

But since you liked him there was a marriage and you swore by god, you were the happiest girl alive. Kyojuro really did love you you sometimes couldn't help but wonder why?

Your food was not the best not the worst and you knew that he in general enjoyed every bite of food, so it wasn't that. It wasn't your art, most definitely not, it wasn't like you were horrible at it, but you also weren't good and everytime you passed a mirror you were reminded why it also couldn't be your appearance.

You dropped the knife you were holding with a long sigh. You made dinner like always and waited for your husband to return, he had been on a mission for a few days now and you were starting to get worried. You decide to stop cooking for a minute and just stare at the wooden wall in front of you.

"Come here my love! It is raining! I don't want you to catch a cold."

You had decided to eat outside with him that day and it just began pouring. Your husband had just laughed using his white Cape(?) to shield you from the rain. Both of you had sprinted back to the house, accidentally forgetting the food outside.

It was one of many, many happy memories you shared with him, but all of it was tinted grey at the moment you realised he probably only married you out of pity. He never made you feel that way, but there was no better explanation to why he would take you as his bride.

Tears start dropping out of your eyes and a sob escaped your mouth. You turned towards the window, only to realise you also looked ugly when you were crying.

You didn't know how long you just sat there, staring at the table, watching your tears fall onto the wooden surface, as the door suddenly opens. You knew who it was without even having to see him, immediately you stand up ready to greet him. "[NAME]?" His loud voice boomed through the whole house.

You were about to call out to him until you remembered you had cried and still where. You didn't want him to see you like this, you didn't want him to worry about you, or even worse pity you.

You decide to continue cutting vegetables for dinner.

"[Name]? Are you alright?" Kyojuro walks into the kitchen. He couldn't see your face, which was good, but you were also scared of talking. What if your voice gave away you had been crying.

"My love, are you mad at me?" He mutters (loudly), hugging you from behind. You didn't want him to think that. "No..l- no, I'm not angry."

Your voice sounded horrible, just as you had expected. "[Name], have you been crying?" He slowly uses his hand to turn your face towards him.

This was the first time you saw him worried. Usually he was a smiling little ray of sunshine, but now? He looked so sad. "Dear, who made my special wife cry?"

He said special. Normally this wording would have made you laugh, but now the only thing you could say was: "I'm not special."

The silence was deafening, your husband just looked at you as if you were crazy. "What do you mean my love?" You didn't want him to look at you with that reaction, you wanted him to tell you that you were right and that he would leave, but the flame haired man didn't. He clasped your dominant hand and you sigh, wiping your face with the other.

"How I say it... I can't cook, draw, paint or sing. I'm not strong, I don't have any defined personality traits-" You can't continue as you loudly sob, shoulders shaking as you breath in heavily.

Kyojuro doesn't say anything else, pulling you into a hug. "My love, have I ever told you why I married you?" You shake your head slightly. "Than I will know. You might not remember, but after my fight I was terribly injured. Most of the people in your village didn't trust me, so they didn't come closer, but you ignored everything you were doing and rushed towards me, yelling at the people to help me. They listened to you."

He softly runs a hand through your hair/ over your head. "You have the ability to make people trust you, no matter how you act, people will listen to you. You help others and you are willing to use every bit of knowledge you have to make sure someone else is also safe."

You had never noticed that about yourself. Maybe you were too blinded by what you weren't, to see that. He pulls you even closer. "I asked to meet you out of curiosity and as a thank you, I expected you to be humble and quiet but once I asked you about your intrests you rambled about it, you were blooming in what you knew. That was the first time I realised I loved you."

You look up at him. "The first time?" Kyojuro grins his typicall bright smile. "There were a bunch of other times, for example the first time I heard you laugh, or when you accidentally burnt the food, or...."

You couldn't believe it, all those things he pointed out where things you saw as flaws. You look at your husband, how proudly he talked about you. You had fallen in love with him before, but now you were head over heels in a sink hole.

You grab Kyojuros face, he is still talking his eyes closed. You softly pull him closer to you, giving him him a kiss, which he immediately answers by also pulling you closer to him.

You slowly pull away. "I love you, my special husband."

"I love you too, my special husband."

[sylvies-chen]

sometimes I think about how percy and annabeth are great foils to their parents individually except not in dynamic. for percy it’s moreso that, thanks to sally, he is able to exist with only the best sides of poseidon inherited, but annabeth reminds me so much more of sally than she ever will of athena.

and yes, annabeth can see five steps ahead and her strategic brilliance and badassery are all things we assume come from her mom. but also… sally is the same way!! sally HAD to be thinking five steps ahead for the future of her son. she had to be resilient and strategic in her parenting methods and tough enough to raise a child like percy alone, which feels about as tough a feat as annabeth holding the sky on her shoulders for two days. sally had to be wise and strong and vigilant to protect someone she loved and also to secure the kind of life she felt he deserved, because she saw the gods for what they were just like annabeth does.

so in my head, percy and annabeth as a dynamic or relationship aren’t comparable to poseidon and athena or even appropriate foils to that dynamic I’d say. they are sally and poseidon getting another chance through a different set of people: both of their best traits brought together without their (poseidon’s) worst traits keeping them apart 😭

[redux-iterum]

Kinda had more time to articulate my thoughts, so here we go:

Do I think Bluestar made a very poor decision in neglecting her children, resulting in their deaths? Yes, and Goldenflower has every right to say, "I cannot forgive you for this, they were children, they did nothing wrong!"

HOWEVER, I do agree with Dissenting Anon that the Clan cultural beliefs/flaws/community overall play a more significant role in this "who's more at fault here" situation. To me, the vibe I got from TC was "we're mad at you for breaking the Code by having forbidden children, but also mad at you for neglecting said children." It's weird how the Clans react to these things...

I also find it interesting that Goldenflower says, "The outcry was awful. We were all angry at her...", which imo makes it seem like even she was upset about the affair? But I could just be misreading that.

Sorry if this was a bit incoherent, just had to speak on it a little more, I'm FASCINATED by all this, and I have a feeling Fireheart is going to try and change how the Clans view these kinds of things.

(Dissenting Anon)

The Clans are both the best and worst traits of cats heightened to an extreme. Cats are self-serving, pretentious, clever, well-spoken, loving, loyal and quick to recall a slight and act upon their initial reaction to it long after everyone else has forgotten that it happened. Put a bunch of unusually intelligent and community-driven cats together in one space and the generations will exaggerate all of these traits until their culture is unique among any others found in the world. All this to say that while the Clans have intensely positive and wonderful beliefs and traits that keep them together and helps them stay strong no matter what happens, they also are excellent at causing suffering through those same beliefs and traits.

Adding to this, they've developed a skill for doublethink that allows all of this to work together without anyone (native to the Clans) questioning it. Horoa catches all wraiths and monsters before they can cause any danger, but some still haunt the territories and will never go away. This cat did a very bad thing they're never allowed to forget, but we're never going to talk about it and we'll pretend it didn't happen. Kits are innocent and not responsible for their birth, but being a half-Clan cat or outsider is inherently shameful and you're automatically lesser than your Clanmates if your father is from outside of your community. So on and so forth.

The point of bringing this up is that I concur with you and the anon. The Clan-specific communities are absolutely the problem when it comes to situations like Bluestar's. The sad thing is that the rule of "no inter-Clan relationships" was developed to prevent suffering and loss, and in our two first examples in this series, suffering and loss is all they resulted in! And the Clans will never acknowledge that. It doesn't suit their fancies of who they are in their heads that they could be the problem. Bluestar is the one at fault, not us. We reacted appropriately. It's not our fault Bluestar was so scared of that reaction that she neglected her kits and they died without her love and care.

Breaking the law is a bad idea, but sometimes we ought to question whether that law was right in the first place. Too bad the Clans refuse to do that.

[larothoughts]

fem!jiggy thoughts (part 1: qinghe nie)

this is part of a larger mdzs au i definitely do NOT have time to write completely. but i've been turning it over in my head for days at this point and it needs to be written down else i forget everything.

basically, how drastically things would have changed with a genderbent meng yao.

(the following timeline is a mix between canons; basically it's the drama timeline without the yin-iron/puppets. but i'm even less familiar with the mdzs timeline as i am with svsss so forgive me for any errors;;;)

the brothel

now i fully believe meng shi, smart as she was and living in a brothel, would've done all she could to hide meng yao's true gender from the madam and her coworkers. this was her son, only meng shi is allowed to bathe him, his father will come back to retrieve him one day. secretly, she still taught meng yao that her father was a great man; that one day she wouldn't need to hide as he will surely take her in.

sisi, the only other person aware of meng yao's true gender, would've seen a young and already-pretty meng yao and been emboldened to pull her aside: 'do not go to lanling jin once your mother dies. not even being his daughter will protect you from jin guangshan.'

because jgs has a reputation amongst brothel workers, the working women of lanling, everyone except for the women he bedded and charmed. if meng yao had been a boy, then maybe sisi would've been assured that the worst jgs could do was throw him down koi tower. but as a girl, when meng yao was as pretty as her mother? no. absolutely not.

so when meng shi dies, sisi sneaks out a still cross-dressing meng yao and urges her to run as far away from the madam's reach as she could. she was still passably androgynous in her youth, but the minute the madam realized she was a girl, she'd force her to take on her mother's debt in her place. so meng yao runs.

qinghe nie

now sisi may have stressed the importance of not going to lanling jin as a no-name girl with a pretty face, but meng yao is tenacious. if she could build a reputation as a cultivator, then surely her father would at least be willing to hear her story out. to acknowledge her as a member of his family. (because meng shi was right too; if meng yao was legitimized as a jin, being a woman would no longer be as dangerous as it was for her now. she would have the power to finally dress and act the way she wants.) the yunmeng jiang sect is a bit too close to home for her comfort, so she goes to the next best sect accepting civilian members: qinghe nie.

one would think NOT being known as a bastard son of a whore would make her experience here much better. it doesn't. sure, the og!qinghe nie bullies liked to use his status to torment meng yao, but in the meritocratic no-bullshit environment chifeng-zun has established, it's strength that ultimately matters. and in both the og universe and in this one, meng yao just isn't as strong as the other recruits. being weak, effeminate and too-differential are all frowned upon traits for a man to be in qinghe nie; but in this au, meng yao would rather be bullied for weakness than be forced to give up cultivating altogether. it's not like female cultivators aren't allowed, just that female cultivators in qinghe nie are held at a higher physical standard. if anyone found out she was actually a girl, they'd take one look at her soft and petite frame and remove her from the ranks entirely. so meng yao grits her teeth and tries to make herself useful no matter how humiliating it is when her fellow disciples treat her more like a servant than a comrade.

then, nie mingjue comes across her half-dressed. she's mortified. the one person who should never know her real gender just walks up behind her, all because the other disciples had set her camp up across the pond as more bullying and she figured she'd use the privacy to her advantage. rather than demand answers or react with violence, however, chifeng-zun just frowns.

"I wasn't aware there were women in this squadron." "There... aren't," Meng Yao answers. She flushes slightly when Nie Mingjue's gaze flickers down to the still-visible swell of her breast, barely hidden beneath the robe she'd yanked over herself in panic. There is an awkward silence, one that fills her with skin-crawling dread. She has half a mind to throw her dignity away entirely and beg for mercy on her knees, but the man surprises her by turning his gaze away from her body out of... out of respect? The idea of a man not ogling her the way all men ogled women is strangely endearing. "Your name?" the sect leader finally says. It briefly crosses her mind to lie. It'll be a difficult but not impossible task to slip away from this squad and pretend to be recruited into another under a different alias. She's an expert disguise-artist when given enough time and determination; her work helping the brothel sisters prepare for the night beforehand was testament to that. Meng Yao wants to lie, because that's always been her first instinct in the face of danger. But from the way everyone spoke about Chifeng-zun, the righteous Nie Mingjue, Meng Yao suspects lying of any kind here may be her actual undoing. "Meng Yao," she answers him, decisive. "My name is Meng Yao."

the inner circle

no one is more shocked than meng yao when, only a few days later, chifeng-zun reassigns her to his personal squadron. he sees her contributions, recognizes her worth, and promotes her into the ranks as an inner disciple. and the cost of this promotion--and therefore unrestricted access to the nie library, where meng yao could finally, finally get her hands on a cultivation manual better suited to her than the dumb one handed out to new recruits--is the added job all members of chifeng-zun's squad must partake in sooner or later: babysitting nie huaisang.

in fact, this is her main job. meng yao is briefly offended that chifeng-zun assumes her gender makes her the perfect babysitter. she's only mollified at the promise of (1) aforementioned access to the nie library as an inner disciple, (2) the sect leader's promise to keep her true gender a secret from everyone but huaisang and (3) her job is less babysitter and more last-line-of-defense, the same as all his other squad members. the difference is, nie huaisang hates having to put up with the usual burly, no-nonsense nie cultivators silently judging his foppish pursuits. they ruin his aesthetic!

meng yao is still annoyed that mingjue assumes her being female means nie huaisang will better allow himself to be guarded (because feminine pursuits means he would prefer a female guard??) but... the man is trying. and having unrestrained access to both the young master and the sect leader is an advantage she'd be insane not to secure. even if her sudden promotion makes her relationship with the lower-ranked nie disciples even worse.

almost perfect

these years are, in hindsight, some of the best of meng yao's life. she dotes on huaisang as if he's her own little brother, finally manages to cultivate her golden core, and finds pride in clearing away qinghe nie's hidden enemies. she has mingjue's admiration and trust, and holds enough sway with the non-disciples to see her plans put into action. things are almost perfect, but for a few things: the lower-ranked disciples still view meng yao as a snake that slept 'his' way to the top of the hierarchy; and nie mingjue refuses to take her as his wife.

well, refuse is a strong word. more like 'will not offer,' a predicament huaisang laments alongside meng yao because just look at her! she'd be a perfect nie-furen! also i know you're sleeping together da-ge, yao-jie is discreet but you certainly aren't! no one even entertains the idea of meng yao being taken in as a concubine; the moment one of the mostly powerless nie elders tries to bring it up (a civilian, mingjue? a man??) the nie brothers shut it down.

the lack of proposal is not out of disrespect. it's because nie mingjue knows he's going to die young. marrying meng yao would require her to reveal her true gender to calm down the nie elders, and once known that information can't be taken back. leaving behind a widow and a non-combatant brother is a far more dangerous situation than leaving behind a non-combatant brother and his trusted attendant. leaving behind a widow related to jin guangshan is even worse. that power-hungry bastard would use any opportunity to gain ground, and his grieving daughter in qinghe nie would put the entire sect in jeopardy.

(mingjue would like to think meng yao would have more loyalty to qinghe than that, but even through rose-tinted glasses he knows meng yao is a practical woman. if it ensured her own safety and possibly huaisang's, she'd open the gates of qinghe nie herself. that was the entire point of meng yao telling him her background, a warning disguised as her detailing how useful she could be. it makes mingjue uneasy, the idea of what meng yao would do if backed into a corner. so he spends as much energy as possible to keep that from happening.)

the fall

meng yao takes nie huaisang to the gusu lan lectures again and again. tensions with the wen sect keep rising. xue yang is captured and taken into the qinghe nie dungeons, only to be broken out by wen cultivators less than a day later. in the ensuing battle, mingjue catches meng yao murdering the same former squad mate that used to steal credit for her victories. he sees her smile, her purposeful use of a wen-style attack, and how easy it is for her to switch from confident to 'terrified' once she realizes he sees her. the shift shakes something fundamental in him, the realization that this woman he loves is so capable of putting on a mask. that she put a mask on in front of him, when she'd once vowed never to do so unless it was for the good of the sect.

murdering the captain of her former squadron was not for the good of the sect.

before he can confront her, xue yang cuts his way through the last of the nie defenses and leaves one last parting gift via declaration: that wen rouhan was quite interested in the beautiful woman who'd stolen nie minjue's heart. that she could do so much better in nightless city, if she ever found herself wanting.

the aftermath of the escape is devastating. meng yao eschews dignity and does what she thought of doing the first time her gender was revealed: she gets down on her knees and begs for mingjue to let her stay as a nie disciple. already word has spread throughout qinghe nie and the wider gentry that meng yao is not just a woman, but a devious and power-grabbing one. that she hid her gender to get close to the sect leader, then engineered a perfect reveal to catch his attention. that she could have easily seized control of the entire sect before anyone had any idea of the threat she was.

mingjue, meanwhile, doesn't know what is and isn't true. he's questioning everything about meng yao, even their first meeting as insinuated by the rumors. it hurts him deeply that he can no longer trust her word; and it hurts her to lose his regard so absolutely.

in a world that favors men, mingjue wouldn't hesitate to kick male!meng yao out within the day. in this one, fem!meng yao is instead locked in her rooms until mingjue can come up with a solution that won't end in her certain death. because despite huaisang's begging, he is firm in the fact that meng yao cannot stay. not even taking into account mingjue and huaisang's feelings, the outrage amongst the nie disciples is enough they'd likely rebel if she remained. mingjue does not want to see meng yao slain by a disciple of his own sect. he doesn't, against his better judgment, want to see meng yao slain at all.

lanling jin

in a great twist of fate, huaisang points out the best solution is the plan meng yao gave up on so many years ago. for better or for worse, meng yao's name is now known across the gentry. she'd been a high-ranking member of qinghe nie for many years, is valued by both brothers and is still respected for her intelligence. mingjue keeps silent on the matter of their broken trust, their long-lasting affair, and any rumors other than the fact that meng yao is a woman. instead, he sends meng yao to lanling jin with a retinue of disciples from his personal squadron, as well as an apology gift for besmirching the honor of jin guangshan's daughter.

he sends her to koi tower with a glowing letter of recommendation and an earnest request for jin guangshan to take care of someone both nie brothers care about greatly. jin guangshan reads the two letters through gritted teeth, sat in front of the stoic nie retainers bracketing meng yao on either side. with meng yao's name and accomplishments on everyone's minds, with the thinly-veiled threat of nie retribution in those damn letters-- jin guangshan cannot hide her away as he would his other bastards.

he has no choice but to accept meng yao into lanling jin as his daughter, even with his wife glaring daggers at him all the while.

it is the last gift mingjue is willing to give meng yao. if not his hand, fulfilling her dream is the next best thing he can offer. unfortunately, as with most things in meng yao's life, it is simply not enough.

a few weeks later, the cloud recesses burn.

[trohpi]

following this microfic i couldnt stop thinking about regulus and his relationship with the evans family so heres my little ramble

so primrose and ciarán evans are very much your middle-of-the-road white suburban irish parents. primrose is a short blonde slightly nosy pta mom and ciarán is a six foot six redheaded giant that wears kiss the cook aprons. theyre supremely embarrassing about their childrens accomplishments which, as you can imagine, is extremely baffling to regulus as a concept

(also side-note, but lily is the definition of a daddys girl and on the flip side, petunia is 100% a mommys girl. its important to me that you know this)

he first meets them the summer after first year. he befriended lily & snape at hogwarts and convinces his parents to let him visit spinners end (they only let him go bc snape is part of the prince family, and he conveniently left out the fact that lily would be there too)

quite frankly, regulus is terrified of both her parents when he first meets them, but particularly her father. ciarán is big and loud and passionate, all traits that usually mean danger for regulus. primrose unnerves him bc she is very much like his mother, but shes also her complete opposite. she has all of walburgas best traits and none of her worst (well, besides her anger issues, but unlike walburga she doesnt take it out on her children). regulus doesnt like talking to her because it feels like seeing what his mother could have been had she been more… well, motherly

the thing that brings him and ciarán together is astronomy. ciarán loves the stars, he has a borderline obsessive knowledge about astronomy and has a very expensive telescope set up on the balcony. regulus is intrigued by the muggle perspective of the field and eventually they end up having hours long conversations about the topic regularly, leaving lily and her mother to commiserate about their partners being robbed from them

with primrose and regulus, im not sure they ever reach quite the same comfortability that regulus has with her husband (likely bc both reg & ciarán are probably autistic which was an accident that i now stand by). i think he and lilys mom would be brought together by cooking, by which i mean their horrible cooking skills. sometimes they try cooking dinner together and given their strong propensity to burn water plus their equally strong perfectionism, the results are bad

when hes disowned, the only place he can think to go is lilys. as much as he loves sirius, he would rather die than live with james potter (sorry james, love u mate 😔❤️). he shows up in the middle of the night on the knight bus and is immediately welcomed with open arms. by this point, petunia has moved out and lives with vernon so he takes her old bedroom even though 90% of the time he ends up in lilys bed. her parents turn a blind eye to it knowing that he has nightmares and she brings him comfort

on an unrelated note, when effie & monty and primrose & ciarán meet they become bffs. sirius is ecstatic, regulus is tired knowing that hell now have to see three of the four marauders at every family function going forward

and the end <3

[sparxaf]

The Inscrutability of Alex

So I might be working on an S7 Alex fic. I mean, I'm probably not working that. But I could be. Maybe. Anyway, for mysterious reasons, I decided to replay the current episodes because I found myself confused by a couple things with Alex. And a second playthrough left me even more confused. I sent @mrsbsmooth a nearly three minute, babbling voice note, asking her if I was missing something, because I cannot figure out how to write him.

This character is described by multiple others as having "golden retriever" energy. Something he absolutely does not have. I'd say he's not even that playful. It's just bizarre for anyone to say that. Nothing about him is overly energetic. Both Raf and Bryson are much better described like that. Alex has the most whistle-whilst-mowing-the-lawn-in jorts-dad energy ever. Golden retriever he is not.

So okay, his energy doesn't match the description. That's not a huge issue on its own. But like...who is he? He says he's not cocky, just confident.

Hmmm. Never is a strong word, innit?

Now, a less cynical person might say that Fusebox is just writing a realistic depiction of someone who is unaware of his own cockiness, but since I am a cynical asshole, I'm saying that Fusebox is not in the business of nuance. They make the same amount of money whether they spend the extra energy to give it depth or not. So they're never gonna bother with that. This is just inconsistent writing. Now, we all know that Alex's most overtly acknowledged trait is his desire to "Take things slow." He says he's looking for the one, and he's not gonna rush that. He knows things move fast there, but he still wants to take his time. He didn't kiss Estelle on the first night. He was uncomfortable with Summer being so forward before he knew anything about her. So how does a guy who takes things slow answer a question from a virtual stranger about what he does for a living?

A dirty joke. Yes, very much setting the tone for his lack of cockiness and his desire to take things slow 🙄 Though I do enjoy MC responding with "Very presumptive, but good to know." 😆😆😆 Not to mention, when he finds out you can snog during the icebreaker, he's not like, "Um too soon." Instead his eyes light up like he can't wait. It's so baffling. So let's say maybe he's just a slow mover who is also really flirty by nature. That feels like he's sending mixed signals at best and manipulating you at the worst. Now this one really threw me for a loop. There's a gem scene where you can ask the boys to tell you something cute about themselves. Alex tells a story about having a crush on a gym bunny and how it led him to weightlifting in order to ask her out. But he kept putting it off and by the time he finally got the nerve, she was already dating someone. So he learned not to hesitate. He learned to just go for it.

Um... what? That's a strange perspective to have for someone whose entire ethos is "Take it slow." Now, I'm aware that he is very straight forward with MC about where his head is at, so perhaps he just meant that he doesn't waste time letting someone know he's interested, but he still wants to take the relationship slow? I don't know. Last, but not least, on night one, you couldn't even kiss Alex (unless I'm misremembering). You could only snuggle. But on night two, Alex says he still wants to take it slow, but he wants to a little something. So the game gives us some options. And the first choice was to do bits. Now, this might be my fault, but I assumed that "bits" in this case would be some kissing and making out. Heavy petting. Maybe some under the clothes touching. But, to my utter shock, no it's not just a heavy make out sesh. Nope. He finger blasts you. He straight up bypasses the face lips and tiddies, and goes straight to rubbing the bean and shoving a digit inside of your person. It's an awfully intimate act for someone like him who's only been alone with you three times, and beyond challenge smooches (if you chose to even take those), has still never really made out with, nor kissed you privately. I would like to clarify that I'm not judging how fast or slow anyone goes in their personal lives. But I am I'm judging this character's pace in relation to the things he's been saying about his pace.

I wrote most of this before the last batch of episodes so I'll only lightly touch on the fact that Alex seems nearly ready to ask you to marry him the day after bringing you to the villa. So "taking it slow" really went out the window altogether.

Long story long, there are aspects to Alex I like. I mean, I'm writing him right now (OR AM I?) so it's not all bad. But it's really hard to attempt any canon reinterpretation, when I can't even sort out what canon is.

It just doesn't make sense. Is he cocky or not? Is he a slow mover or does he believe in not wasting time? Is he an inner city gym rat bro, or is he a home-on-the-range papa who wants to build you a cottage, and make babies? Is his whole "slow burn" thing some kind of manipulation to hide that he's a fuckboy (which would be hilarious) or he's just very badly written?

I love a good, lively conversation, so go ahead and let me know your thoughts. But for those who are rather... overly invested in Alex, feel free to yell at me about his perfection and how wrong and dumb I am. I look forward to deleting your vitriol.

[woso-dreamzzz]

hate exam szn. i was late to the fateful jenni agenda day 🥲

i didn’t even realize the summary for alexia’s version was you come home and so when i read jenni’s summary—you go home—my stomach actually dropped. was like damn shots fired, feeling bad for alexia but yk she made her bed (unknowingly of course… but still)

bambi being strong and weak against alexia and feeling suffocated when she hugged her? calling out to her only to GIVE HER BACK THE TRAIN? spain without the s.

the (sort of) putellas erasure and feeling content at the thought of just being a hermoso actually hurts 😭 i’ve lowkey wanted this outcome the entire series and now that it’s here i’m sobbing. getting the “worst traits” from alexia and thinking she’d have let bambi stay if she were good at football oh my. jenni having always supported bambi’s interest in ballet feels right though. do you think jenni ever posts about it (perhaps not bambi’s face specifically, more so things related to bambi and to ballet) with so much pride and it gets back to alexia like a slap to the face? or even eli/alba visiting in mexico to watch a big recital and eli’s posts are more private so there are just videos on top of videos of bambi dancing—how does alexia react to all of this? alexia makes the decision that jenni’s better for bambi, but do you ever think she hates that fact? does it ever frost her relationship with jenni?

i was also wondering how olga reacts to bambi leaving. does this mean there’s never a true relationship between the two? bambi wouldn’t get a lot of time with alexia so i feel like alexia would inadvertently push olga to the side when bambi’s here. is olga just jaume’s mother? do you think bambi ever reflects on the fact that the addition of olga into bambi’s life was definitely a turning point? (so many questions omg… sorry) does jenni ever speak about olga and alexia in a bitter sense? does alba ever confront olga as well?

i hope that bambi’s a little more expressive of her feelings with jenni in this alternate outcome. the “so’s mine” and no one hears… the guinea pig comment too. bambi i’m getting you out of all the pain you’ve ever endured. i hope that she’s able to (in both outcomes) overcome this fear of speaking up for herself… because she won’t be able to realize that none of this was her fault if she doesn’t express she feels this way 🥲

also: holy shit. the mami never wanted you to you think mami is special to you know she’ll be the best mami in the world to jaume too LASHED ME W SO MUCH PAIN. SPAIN WITHOUT THE S. bambi’s always held alexia to the highest regard and despite her experiences alexia is never hated/despised. this might be a result of unreliable narrating given bambi’s reflection of her family and “how things are” are most definitely influenced by how she feels… but bambi thinking she was lucky alexia loved her ENOUGH to look after her until someone else could. NOT EVEN CARE FOR HER. look after. pain. her reflection of jenni always having loved her cements my feelings towards my internal jenni/alexia debate. (it’s always favoured jenni) of course alexia never meant for this to happen… “this” meaning bambi (from the beginning she’s faced difficulty on if she even wanted to go through with the pregnancy) but also this as in what’s occurred to bambi in general. to me though, alexia had full autonomy to end the pregnancy. she chose to have bambi. to me that signifies consenting to take on the responsibilities of a parent, and alexia failed that. though people make mistakes… this was dragged on and obviously has long-lasting consequences and haunts not just her, but bambi too. jenni’s constant and unwavering love for bambi hopefully will mend this trauma and heal her from the pain she’s been put through at such a young age

honestly after all this, even if i feel for alexia and we see how happy she is to get bambi back… we see more of how affected bambi’s been in this situation—and if we think about it, this is how bambi feels when she’s not forcing herself to accept alexia’s love especially when it feels so foreign. it matters that alexia tried but i think that train being broken was symbolic of her relationship with bambi… even when olga mended it it’d never be enough—it’s broken now and bambi hands back the new train (the one that should’ve been her birthday present) and to me that feels like bambi passing on this sort of responsibility to alexia with regard to jaume. this is a new train (a new child) and bambi wishes for alexia to take care of it and not break it the way she broke bambi.

still crying though. i love this series. thank you for always choosing the most painful words and sharing such a nuanced story <3 sorry for all the long rambles! there should probably be a feature to hide my asks bc i feel like it must be annoying have to scroll through it if you don’t want to read it 😭 you are the best though and everything you write is always a pleasure to read <33333

ps. princesse’s “mapi who doesn’t play football” HC is my most favourite. mapi’s the most supportive tattoo-acquiring, stray cat feeding girlfriend in the world and ingrid deserves nothing less

another ps. the first time i met my youngest sibling i lifted the blanket and got punched in the nose too. cub i love u <3

Long anon! I missed you! 😘

Bambi giving Alexia back the train was being planned for so long. It was always going to happen. It was just a matter of time that I put it in somewhere.

Jenni definitely posts about Bambi. She's such a proud Mama. She's careful with it though. None of the pics on her actual account fully show Bambi's face but she'll show Bambi's face on her story. There's countless photos of Bambi showing off her new ballet shoes (and then her pointe shoes when she's old enough to have them) and there's so many of the back of Bambi's head surrounded by her trains.

Eli definitely has more freedom in posting about Bambi because her account is private. She adores Bambi and practically all of her recitals end up on Eli's account, where Alexia usually gets her unfiltered information about Bambi from.

Olga and Bambi only really have a foundation of a relationship, the one that was made in the hospital, and it kind of stays that way. It develops a little bit as Bambi gets older but not much. Olga is mainly Jaume's mama and Alexia's partner. As Bambi grows up, she definitely comes to understand that her life changed the day that Alexia and Olga sat her down to talk about giving her a sibling.

Jenni doesn't really like to talk about Alexia and Olga to Bambi. She doesn't want to remind Bambi of them because she knows she's going to bitter about them so she just doesn't talk about them. Alba doesn't really confront Olga about anything. Her main job was getting Bambi out of that situation and she's done that now. She does keep a careful watch for the same warning signs for Jaume just in case.

Also about the train symbolism. The Bambi Train was ceramic. It looks strong but it's actually so fragile (Alexia dropped it and it completely shattered) while the Jaume Train is a proper model train. It's actually strong and if someone drops it, there's not going to be a lot of damage. It kind of signifies Alexia as a parent. She got a lot wrong with Bambi and she knows that but in the end, she ended up shattering the train (she broke their relationship). But with Jaume's train (and his and Alexia's relationship now and in the future) has stronger foundations and can take a few mistakes along the way without ruining it. Alexia has changed as a parent and giving Bambi to Jenni makes her want to be the best parent she can be to Jaume so neither of her kids have to suffer again.

I love reading your long rambles and I was so excited this morning to wake up and see you in my inbox again! I've got a few more parts of Injured stocked up with the first appearance of teen!Bambi that I'm so excited about!

[stardewthoughts]

Marnie

This is going to be both headcannon and discussion, this is no end all be all, this is my opinion and I’d love to hear yours

Firstly I would like to point out that, one of the generally accepted “biggest flaw” in marnies character is her shop schedule, and that’s fine you can feel that way, but if you stop and look at it as you would an actual person, it makes sense ( this also requires ignoring sdv immaculate conception of animals)

Marnie runs the only (vanilla) ranch/farm centred around livestock in the valley, meaning her job as a rancher is quite important both for the community and the local economy. Now anyone who knows about raising livestock (especially dairy animals) it’s a tiring time consuming job, from milking, shearing, collecting eggs, cleaning out stalls and pens, feeding, health checks and the like, most of which would eat into her mornings and evenings, which would only worsted in spring-early summer when animals are most likely going to be giving birth. And she does all this with only some help from Shane and a little “help” from jas.

On top of that Marnie still has a social life to maintain, meeting up with friends and Lewis, both to help her mental and emotional life and health but also for their sakes. Throw in the fact that Lewis is (clearly) leading her on, her mental and emotional health need some extra care.

Throw all of that on top of raising jas and keeping Shane alive, Marnie has a very full schedule to begin with. Logically her shop isn’t the priority, it’s a side business at best, selling materials and tools to neighbours (mostly you) as an extra income. Logically to me atleast, it makes plenty of sense Marnie needs to leave her shop often

All that being said, I myself have some issue with marnies character

For instance, marnies main character traits are she loves animals and she’s lonely, which is seen through much of her dialogue, otherwise there’s not much else to her, for the most part that’s it, otherwise it’s idle chitchat about the town or local goings on

She’s timid, quiet and honestly a tad naive, which could make a good character but I don’t feel it makes her one, throughout my entire life, growing up in an agricultural setting all the women I’ve met have been brave, outspoken and honestly a little terrifying, I’ve genuinely seen some face down a charging bull and stopping said bull in its tracks with little more than a stick and a bored look, but with all that they could still be calm quiet and reserved, and I feel that, that’s what marnies lacking

She had the background, the setting and the chance to be a strong, outspoken woman, with thoughts and feelings that go further than lonely animal lover, but she never did

Personally I see that as a massive oversight, to what could have been a great character, what do you think

[collectiveclams]

Trying my best to figure out what these guys look like in my head before I go look at the fandom’s generalized designs for the characters.

A friend of my twin got us into the show and a week later we’re at season 8!

I definitely need to tweak Cole’s design a lot- I want him to have a more strongman build & revamp his entire face design. But at the very least I’m happy with getting his hair the way I want!

Kinda hard to see, but Zane’s got little screws for earrings! I honestly didn’t account for how much older the faceplate would make him look, I intended him to look way more boyish.

Rambling about my current HCs of the Ninja’s appearances below:

I’ve been having a bit of an trouble deciding what various flavor of Chinese & Japanese these dudes should be based on. Considering the show is based on a 2010s vague idea of “Asia” and carries traits of both Japanese & Chinese influence, I’m just going to use both. I don’t know what sorta general consensus the fandom has of their appearances bc I have barely interacted with the fandom, so if this violently contrasts with that then yippee I have original thoughts, I guess.

-Kai is Japanese. Kai, being vain and caring more about training than Jay for example, has a more aesthetic build that’s definitely form more than function. Like a natty powerlifter who’s not competing. I’m not sure what height he should be, but if he’s taller his muscle definition would appear smaller so I’ll have to keep that in mind.

- Nya has initially a more functional build- far less muscle definition than her brother. Not outwardly buff and doesn’t have pronounced muscles, but can fairly easily haul a 100lb hunk of metal from a scrap pile to her workbench. But after becoming the water ninja, her new training gives her more pronounced muscle definition. Initially shorter than Kai but grows taller as the show goes on.

- Cole is southern Chinese. He’s got a strongman heavy set build. I envision him as fairly short so his muscles can be a little more pronounced. If you stripped his muscle definition from his ninja training away, I still want him to look like one of assholes who haven’t worked out a day in their lives but still somehow looks jacked.

- Zane is what pops up when you look up “Chinese teen male stock photo” because he needs to look like The Most Generic person ever. No muscle definition at all on this dude. He’s a nindroid & so there’s no need to include muscle decision to show that he’s strong. He’s either average height or slightly on the shorter side bc gravity is a bitch and the taller make a humanoid robot, the more balance becomes a bitch to deal with. So average height or short Zane it is.

- Jay is Uyghur so I can get this dude his reddish-brown hair. Minor muscle definition. His isn’t for aesthetics like Kai, he’d rather do ninja training than do the types of sets & pushing to failure needed to achieve more pronounced muscle definition for aesthetic lifting. Jay needs to be shorter than Nya. He’s definitely taller than Cole but I need him to be just an inch shorter than Nya because that’s funny to me personally.

- Lloyd is Japanese. Solely because Oni come from Japan & I got spoilered that Gargamon is an Oni later. Lloyd is a stringy ass kid at first & has no muscle definition at all. During his Green Ninja training before the Travelers Tea, he’d be trained for efficiency & not for aesthetics with the deadline of him fighting his father possibly being around any corner. After Travelers Tea he likely kept his training to function over aesthetics and would share similar muscular definition to Jay & Nya. And he’s tall. His dad is tall as shit with 4 arms. I want this kid to go through the Worst gangly teen era anyones ever seen and only barely fit his form once he finishes growing.

Additional thoughts:

And as a big comic nerd who owns around 800+ comics (might be more around 1000 now?), hoo boy I have so many thoughts on Lloyd and Jay liking Starfarer. I cannot wait to make a fic that’s just Lloyd and Jay ganging up against Kai over some incredibly wrong take of the comic he absentmindedly said and trapping him in a 3 hour long conversation about frequent mischaracterization and mishandling of the characters in Starfarer & how what Kai said was wrong. I just need a fic of Jay and Lloyd talking to each other about their favorite runs of Starfarer and complaining about a tie-in/crossover comic that’s written particularly bad, or complaining how an author completely misunderstood Fitz Donnegan or complaining over an author change & etc. I just need to make a fic of these boys talking about average comic book fan things.