#my sister said it was gay so she approves

[arlana-likes-to-write]

I Do

Part 2 of Marry Me

Summary: It's your wedding day and as you are getting ready you can't help but remember how you got to this point. But sometimes even on the happiest days, anxiety can be the biggest enemy.

Note: italicized sections are flashbacks

Warning: Angst with Fluff, dirty talk, almost office sex but getting caught, mention of death, toxic past relationships, panic attacks, drinking

Word count: 8.8k

“I can’t believe you're getting married!” Tony exclaimed probably for the hundredth time during this whole process. “I’m more nervous than I was for Vision’s wedding,” you fought the urge to roll your eyes as you sat in front of the makeup artist. You felt bad for the poor woman who had to endure your family’s antics.

“Honey, have a drink,” Maria pushed a glass of whiskey into Tony’s hand. “You are going to stress out the bride.” You weren’t stressed. You were 100% content and ready to marry the woman of your dreams. All you had to do was get through a silly little ceremony and it would be official. You told Yelena that you would settle for getting married in a courtroom but she wanted a wedding. So you gave her a wedding.

“You look like the day you told me you had a crush on her,” Howard said, coming from the balcony with a cigar in his mouth. “All flustered and nervous. If I knew any better I’d say you were getting married.” You chuckled slightly at the light blush creeping up Tony’s face.

“Well then I learned that she was gay,” he pointed at you. “You were my first heartbreak.” You chuckled.

“I think you did well for yourself,” you smiled.

“Damn, right he did!” Pepper said and your bridal party cheered. This was the only thing you cared about, having your family together. Well, not everyone. Damn, you missed your parents.

*   

 God, you had to have a long talk with Natasha about your last drink. Your head was throbbing. At least the newlyweds had the forethought to book a place with continental breakfast so everyone could nurse their hangovers. “Someone got laid last night,” Tony said, slamming down a cup of coffee and sitting in the chair next to you. The sound echoed in your head. 

“Fuck Stark,” you groaned. “Why are you always so loud?” He chuckled at your expense. The man was never hungover, it was annoying. 

“So are you going to tell me who it was?” He took a piece of toast off your plate. “Because I’m all your boss so I will find out,” you kept your mouth shut, sipping on your coffee. “I bet it was with Carol. She eyefucks you at every gala,” you smirked. You knew the former Air Force pilot was with Val, maybe they were looking for a third. “Monica is attractive, was it her? Please don’t tell me you joined Romanoff and Barnes.” 

“Shut up,” you laughed. You sighed. “Fine I’ll tell you but you have to keep it quiet. Can you do that?” He nodded. You glared at him. 

“Scouts honor. Now come on tell me,” he whined. You smiled, biting your lip as you remembered lasted night. 

“It was Yelena,” Tony stared at you, mouth slightly open, and blinked a few times at you. 

“Romanoff is going to kill you,” he deadpanned. “At least leave me something nice in your will.” You rolled your eyes, smacking the man slightly on the chest. 

“She knows,” his face scrunched in disgust. “Oh my god, ew, not like that,” Laughing pulled your attention away from Tony and you watched as Yelena walked into the dining room with Kate and America. She was still wearing the long-sleeved shirt that you let her burrow. It made you smile. Tony hit your leg. “Sorry,” you snapped out of it. “Natasha gave her stamp of approval for me to pursue a relationship with her.”

“Why did you make it sound like a business proposition?” He asked. You huffed out a sigh, crossing your arms. “I’m kidding,” he laughed. “She’s the one that has put a smile back on your face,” you nodded. Yelena sat down at a table with her sister and her green eyes found yours, a playful smirk on her lips. You wanted to go over and kiss her again. “Well, I’m glad she’s making you happy.” 

“Yeah, she is.” 

*       

Maria and Howard asked you to join them when your hair and makeup were done. It was a light look as you didn’t wear makeup in your normal day-to-day life. So you stood with them on the balcony that overlooked the winery. “You are making me kind of nervous,” you chuckled. It reminded you of when you and Tony ‘burrowed’ Howard’s 1960 red Mustang. He wasn’t happy.

“There is nothing to worry about, sweetheart,” Maria said, sitting down at the small patio set. Her husband remained standing behind her. You sat down in front of her.

“We have a small gift for you,” you groaned. “Hey, lose the attitude squirt,” You fought the couple tooth and nail during this process. They wanted to help pay for the wedding or gift you something extravagant, but you declined both.

“It’s tradition for the bride to have something old, new, burrowed, and blue on their wedding day,” Maria explained. You and Yelena weren’t having a traditional American wedding with her being Russian and both members of the LGBTQ community but there were some things you were doing. You weren’t seeing each other until Yelena walked down the aisle, Yelena would be throwing her bouquet (you were hopping Natasha would catch it), and you had two flower girls (Lila and Morgan), and Nate and Cooper were your ring bearers.

“For your something burrowed,” Howard took off his cufflinks and handed them to you. “I expect those back in perfect condition.” he teased. You rolled your eyes but took them.

“For your something old,” Maria handed you a pin. “And it counts for your blue.” It was a blue jay pin that your mother gave her. She never took it off. You felt tears form in your eyes. “So they can be there with you while you walk down the aisle.”

“Your father gave me those,” Howard added. You choose Howard and Maria to walk you down the aisle in place of your parents. “They would be proud of you, kid,” you cleared your throat, trying to push down your emotions not wanting to ruin your makeup.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “Both you. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

“It has been a pleasure to watch you grow up,” Maria stood up and kissed the top of your head. “Here is something new,” she pulled out a small box and a letter. “From your soon-to-be wife. We’ll let you open it in private.” You thanked the couple and they returned to the suite as you opened the box. Inside was a new pair of earrings. They were simple golden studs with a small diamond. You smiled and put them in, now you understood why Pepper told you not to wear earrings. You opened the letter.

‘Darling, There are so many things I wish to write in this letter but I’ll keep it brief and save it for my vows. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. As for the earrings, Maria told me a story of a family vacation you took with the Starks around the time of your parent's passing to Cape Code. You wore a pair of earrings that your mother gave you into the ocean and unfortunately lost them. I know these won’t be able to replace the ones you lost. But I hope they provide you with a sense of comfort along with the mementos Maria and Howard gave you. I love you and see you soon.’ 

You reread the letter a few more times before folding it nicely. You fiddled with the earrings. You were a mess that trip even more so when you lost your earrings. You missed them so deeply and you wished they were here with you.

*   

“Are you sure they want me here?” Yelena asked, anxiously twisting the rings on her fingers. You were sitting in the driveway of the Stark Family Home. It was Maria’s birthday. Tonight was the small gathering for family and a few close friends and tomorrow was the bigger party. The Starks never needed a reason to party. You took her hand in yours, bringing it to your lips. 

“They asked for you specifically,” it was true. When you told Tony about your new relationship, he couldn’t wait to tell his parents. They’ve met the blonde but you knew it was at a work event when you were introducing the new group of entrepreneurs. It was different now. She was just another Stark employee now she was a Stark employee and your girlfriend. “If you don’t want to go we can turn around and we can hang out at my place.” Yelena shook her head. 

“Is Wanda going to be there?” You sighed. 

“Yes,” the blonde tensed up. “But I don’t care about her. I’m with you and she made her choice.” You haven’t run into your ex-girlfriend since her wedding and your new relationship with Yelena. But you knew she knew. Vision seemed quite interested in your relationship, especially with how it would affect the workplace. It wasn’t a coincidence that an email from HR was in your inbox regarding relationships with coworkers. 

“Alright, let’s do this,” you turned off the car and walked over to Yelena’s side to open the door for her. “My knight in shining armor,” she said, kissing your cheek. She had the small gift bag in her hand, that you knew Maria was going to be livid about. You held onto her hand as you led her up to the massive doorway. “I sometimes forget how much money the Starks have,” Yelena mumbled, looking at the house. “Tony is so..”

“Stupid, cocky, a pain in my ass,” the blonde laughed, pinching your sides. “Ouch, rude.”��

“Don’t talk about our boss like that,” she teased. You rolled your eyes, ringing the doorbell. 

“He was a brother to me long before he was chairman of Stark Industries.” It wasn’t long before the door swung open. 

“There she is!” Howard said, pulling you in a hug. Your hand was ripped out of Yelena’s hold. “I guess you only come around when you know we’ll have food.” He teased. 

“Let me go, old man,” you pushed him off of you as he messed with your hair. 

“You did not just call me old,” he gasped. You stepped into the house and Yelena closed the door behind you. “It ain’t my birthday, sweet cheeks.” 

“I’m telling your wife you said,” you smiled, fixing your hair and polo. “Howard, I would like to introduce you to my girlfriend, Yelena-”

“Yelena Belova,” the man cut you off, extending his hand for her to shake. “I know all about you. You are the reason Stark Industries is branching overseas to work with the Wakandans,” Yelena shook his hand. You saw the tension leave her body. “It has always been my dream for the company to expand so we can help more people. I’d love to hear all about it.”

“Darling,” you saw Maria walk over. “You promised there would be no talking about work.” She scolded her husband. “Hello, Yelena it’s wonderful to meet you.” The matriarch hugged your girlfriend. Over his wife’s shoulder, Howard mouthed, ‘We’ll talk later.’ 

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Yelena smiled. “And Happy Birthday.” She handed Maria the gift bag. The woman glared at you but you held up your hands. 

“Wasn’t me,” you defended. “That was all her.” You were throwing your girlfriend to the wolves but when it came to Mama Stark it was for the best. Inside were two stained glass blue jays that she could hang in the window. 

“Oh, I love them. Thank you,” she hugged your girlfriend again. Your mouth hung open slightly. 

“How come when I get you a gift you threaten to kick me out of the will.” 

“Hush you,” Maria teased, lopping her arm with Yelena. “Come. Dinner is almost ready so we are having drinks in the sitting room.” Maria dragged Yelena in the direction of the room, leaving you alone with Howard. 

“Women,” he said, hitting you with his elbow. “Am I right?” You rolled your eyes. 

“You always are,” You grabbed him by the shoulder. “Come on let’s not keep everyone waiting.” When you joined the rest of the guests, Yelena was standing with Tony and Pepper. You excused yourself and joined the trio. 

“About time you showed up,” Tony teased, as he leaned closer to you. “Someone has been sending dirty looks to your girlfriend.” You saw Wanda standing with Vision and Bruce, another close friend of the Stark Family. You chuckled. 

“Maybe she’s upset I got lucky on her wedding night and she didn’t,” Tony gagged, punching you in the shoulder. 

“Children,” Maria warned and Tony mumbled a ‘sorry mom’ under his breath. “Dinner is ready.” The group filled into the dining room, and each person had a personalized name plate to designate where everyone was sitting. You pulled out Yelena’s chair for her. 

“Why don’t you do that for me anymore?” Pepper teased as she sat next to you. Tony huffed. 

“They are in the honeymoon phase,” he said. “They’ll grow out of it.” You smiled, placing your hand on Yelena’s thigh. 

“How are you doing?” You whispered. 

“Good,” she smiled. “Really good.”

*    

Once dinner was over, you joined Tony, Vision, and Howard for a glass of whiskey on the balcony. The Elder Stark would pass out cigars but you refused one. It was tradition. You remembered begging your father to join because you wanted to be with him and Tony instead of your mother. You haven’t been on this balcony since you broke up with Wanda. You missed it. Sitting back in your chair, you sipped on your drink and listened to the three Starks talk with one another. Your mind wandered to Yelena. You knew Wanda wouldn’t try to do anything to save face with Maria but you were worried nonetheless. “So,” Howard said, looking at you. Oh boy. “You’ve been oddly quiet. Most nights we can’t get you to shut up.”

“Cool thanks,” you smiled, wrapping your hands around the glass. “I liked listening to you guys talk,” you admitted. “It reminded me of when we were younger and my father was here to join us.” That shifted the conversation and you were grateful until Vision directed it back to you.

“How are you and Miss. Belova?” He asked. You almost choked on your drink.

“We are good,” you smiled. “Just taking it slow and learning more about each other.” You were not giving this man more information to feed to his wife.

“That girl is smart,” Howard praised. “She is going to go far in that company.” Oh, you knew that. She was helping you, Sharon, and Natasha create a branch in California. You were waiting on approval to go ahead with the project.

“Is your relationship affecting your workplace dynamic?” Vision questioned. “You are technically her superior.” Your jaw clenched. You heard Tony shift in his seat, ready to defend you but you held up your hand.

“It has not,” you answered. “If she has any issues, she reports it to Sharon, and then Sharon reports it to me so there is a non-biased party in the middle,” you sat up in your chair. “Now I have a question for you, Viz. Did you have these same levels of concern with Pepper and your brother’s relationship? Or do you just have a problem with it because it’s me?” You smiled. “Excuse me gentlemen but I need a refill.” You stood up and walked back into the house. Walking into the empty kitchen, you dumped your drink in the sink and washed the glass.

“I’m guessing my son said something to upset you.” You chuckled at Maria’s statement.

“He didn’t upset me,” you said. Besides you knew Tony was giving him an earful. “Are you getting a cup of tea? I can make you some.” She nodded and sat down. You began to prepare it. Your mother and Maria were the ones that taught you how to make it. Maria said you could win anyone over with the perfect cup of tea.

“I like her,” Maria broke the silence. You looked at the matriarch. “I like the smile you get when you look at her.” You nodded.

“Yeah, she’s great,” you leaned on the counter as you waited for the water to boil. “Do you think my parents would have liked her?” You asked Maria the same question about Wanda.

“Take my hand,” you did. “As long as you were happy they would have loved whoever you brought home,” the kettle began to whistle. It was the same answer she had given before. You turned around to pour the water into the mug. “But yes, they would have loved her.” That was new. You smiled, loving the warm feeling that covered you.

*      

“Let’s have a toast!” Sarah said, pushing an empty champagne glass in your hand. Laura came up behind her to fill it with a smile.

“She’s been waiting for this moment all day,” you chuckled and thanked the mother of 3. You became close to the Barton Family because of Yelena, you loved going to their house in Iowa. Once everyone had a drink and Lila and Morgan were given apple juice, Tony raised his glass.

“To a beautiful ceremony and a reception we’ll all forget.” You rolled your eyes. Sarah raised her glass next, and you gave her a pointed look to be nice.

“To picking someone that loves you as hard as you love them.” You mouthed a ‘thank you’ to your best friend.

“To looking hot and feeling hot.” Pepper cheered.

“To a long and happy life to the beautiful bride-to-be,” Laura added.

“Cheers!”

*     

It was the Gala of the year, the anniversary of the day Stark Industries was founded. Everyone would be dressed to the nines, the best catering company would be hired and paired with the right drinks. At the end of the night, awards would be given, and there would be dancing, laughing, and sharing stories. Most importantly the press would be there. So much press. Everything had a place and a reason behind it. The type of food, the partners and competitors that were invited, and the way people arrived. It was the biggest headache for those who planned the party but when you stepped out of the car with flashing lights it was worth it. You arrived third to last, in front of Tony and Pepper and Maria and Howard. You rested your hand on Yelena’s thigh. It was the first big event you two were attending as a couple. She was wearing a high slight, dark blue dress with spaghetti straps. You were dressed in a black suit with a dark blue pocket square. Before you left, you gifted your girlfriend a diamond necklace which she was wearing. “Are you excited, sweetheart?” You asked, glancing at her. 

“Fuck yeah. I’m ready to eat until I burst and drink alcohol I didn’t pay for,” you rolled your eyes, stopping the car and putting it in the park. A valet attendant would park it for you. You could hear the paparazzi and see the lights from their cameras. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Yelena smiled before capturing her lips with yours. It was a slow kiss and she pulled away before you could ruin her makeup. You could kiss her for hours if she let you. Every time you kissed her your stomach flipped. 

“About 100 times, darling,” she said. 

“Well I’ll tell you 100 more,” you kissed her again. “Let’s go woo the crowd, baby.” You got out first, waving to the crowd before running over to the passenger side. You opened the door and held out your hand. Yelena took it and you helped her out. The camera lights began to go crazy but your eyes were only on your girlfriend. You stared at each other for a moment before heading to the entrance. Then the questions started. ‘Y/n, how long have you been dating Yelena Belova?’ ‘Is this why you pushed so hard for the Wakanda Project?’ ‘Has this affected your working relationship?’ ‘Can you comment on Wanda and Vision’s relationship?’ But you paid no mind to them. 

Oh, you remembered the headlines from the first event after your break up with Wanda and she attended it with Vision. ‘Maximoff is after a REAL Stark.’ ‘Y/n loses to the Starks again.’ It was brutal. Maria, the company’s PR, had to put out a lot of fires. You made it your mission to make her job as easy as possible. So you ignored the questions and you had a statement ready to go live tomorrow. You and Yelena stopped for one more picture before entering the venue. You felt a weight lifted off your shoulders, feeling safe within the building. Only selective reporters were allowed during the actual event. “I hate the press,” you mumbled, holding onto Yelena’s hand. She chuckled as her sister and Bucky walked over. The redhead was wearing a floor-length black strapless dress and Bucky wore a suit with his tie red that matched Natasha’s lipstick. 

“I see you both made it through alive,” Natasha said. 

“Barely,” Yelena teased. 

“I don’t know how you deal with them all the time,” Bucky mumbled. 

“With a lot of alcohol,” you smiled. “Let’s go drink.”

* 

You were at the founder's table with the Starks plus Wanda, Pepper, Natasha, and Bucky. It was…special to say the least. You kept your hand on Yelena’s thigh while Wanda kept sending daggers your way. It was amazing to see how jealous she was as her new husband ignored her. You noticed Yelena’s drink was getting low as she was in a deep conversation with Pepper. You stood up and took her drink, whispering, ‘I’ll be right back,’ to your girlfriend. Before you could leave the table, Yelena turned to kiss you. You smiled and walked over to the bar. As you waited for the bartender, you heard a set of footsteps approaching you. You knew it was Wanda without having to turn around. You sighed. “What do you want Wanda?” You asked. “You’ve been starring daggers at me all night.” 

“I don’t think Yelena is good for you,” She said, standing next to you. You gave yourself whiplash on how fast you turned to look at her, not hiding the shock by her blunt comment. “You both are in different stages of life. You are well established in your career and she’s just getting her footing. It’s not fair to you that she’s using you to get ahead.” Your jaw clenched. Oh, you were so close to losing your cool. 

“It’s so nice that Vision looks like a loving and doting husband,” you deadpanned as the bartender put your drinks down. “Oh, I’m sorry I thought were saying things that aren’t true. Stay out of my relationship and I’ll stay out of yours.” As you grew into your career you learned to ignore what people said around you. It was damaging to your mental health to follow every rumor or lie spread about you. Even though your relationship wasn’t out to the public those you worked with knew. They were respectful at face value but you heard their whispers. They questioned the validity of your relationship with Yelena and you were only together to benefit the company or each other. It was ridiculous but your anxiety-induced brain made you question everything. Yelena was so far out of your league, that you wondered why she picked you. 

You sat back down with your and Yelena’s drink. “Thank you, dorogoy (sweetheart),” she smiled but frowned suddenly. “What’s wrong?” She asked. You forced a smile and shook your head. 

“Nothing,” you said, putting your arm behind her chair. “Don’t worry about it.” Yelena watched as Wanda returned to her seat, you could see the gears turning in her head. “Don’t,” you whispered in her ear and kissed her neck. “She’s not worth it.” She looked at you, her lips were inches from yours. 

“Come with me,” she said. You knew there was no room for argument. You both excused yourself from the table as Tony cat-called you both. You fought the urge to flip him off as Yelena dragged you to a hallway. “What did she do?” She asked once you were alone. 

“Nothing important,” you said, leaning against the wall. “Nothing that I know that isn’t true,” you looked away from the blonde. She sighed, closing the space, and used her finger to force you to look back at her. 

“It’s bothering you. So I want to know how to help,” she smirked. “Or I can go over there and force her to tell me, you know I’ve been looking for a reason to kick her ass,” you chuckled. That would be a sight to see. You hated the idea of keeping stuff from her but you didn’t want to upset her. You sighed. 

“She said you aren’t good for me,” you told her. “That you are just using me to advance your career.” Her green eyes went wide. 

“You know that isn’t true, right?” She whispered. “I-I would never do that.” Tears began to swell in her eyes. 

“Hey,” you brought her in for a hug. “I know you wouldn’t. No tears, okay? Don’t let that bitch ruin your makeup,” she laughed against your chest but you kept her in your arms when she didn’t pull away. “Sometimes,” you continued. “I can’t believe that I get to call you mine. You are so far out of my league that my mind likes to be my biggest enemy.” Yelena looked up at you. 

“Have you looked in a mirror, detka (babe)?” She questioned. “Or hear what some of the newer associates say about you or read what the press writes?” You remembered the article that Tony joked about. You were New York City’s most eligible bachelorette for a while. “You have the looks, power, and money, and I’m out of your league.” 

“Yes because you see as me and not as a Stark without the last name.”

“And I love you with or without the responsibility that comes with that name.” You stared at her. 

“I love you too,” you said without hesitation and captured her lips. Someone coughing broke you both apart. It was Maria. 

“As cute and disgusting as this is,” she smirked. “The award ceremony is about to start.” Ugh, that meant it was time for your speech. 

“Thank you, Maria,” Yelena smiled. “We’ll be right out,” the brunette left, playfully pointing to her watch. “Ready?” You weren’t. You were dreading to go back to that table. As your girlfriend turned to leave, you pulled her back towards you. “What-?” you kissed her. 

“Tell me again,” you whispered against her lips. She looked confused. “Please baby girl,” you pleaded. “Tell me again.” Her confusion disappeared and she smiled. 

“I love you,” the blonde said. “I am yours and you are mine.” Your heart fluttered. 

“I’m yours.” 

*       

“Are you excited?” Pepper asked, helping you put on Howard’s cufflinks. You waited for the click of the camera to go off before answering.

“I am,” you smiled. “I think I’m more excited for the reception than the ceremony.” Another photo. Pepper laughed.

“I was the same way,” she moved behind you to fix your collar and lay your bow tie flat. “I want you to know Yelena has helped you a lot but you’ve done amazing as well.” If Tony was the brother you never had, Pepper was the sister. You smiled. “It wasn’t easy but you opened up your heart again.”

“It was worth it,” you told her. “It was worth all the growing pains and hurdles we went through,” Pepper hummed. “And thank you for being there when I wasn’t. You have a lot on your plate and I’m sorry I added onto it.”

“Never apologize,” she placed your hands on your shoulders. “You are family,” you watched her smile through the mirror. “Now you are wedding ready.” You were wearing a cream three-piece suit. The blue jay pin was attached to your breast pocket and the color of your bow tie matched the sage green of the bridal party. You smiled back at her.

*  

 You loved your job. Loved it so much. But there were moments that you hated it. You figured that was common for any job. There was a pile of new hires, project requests, and yearly reviews that needed to be done. It seemed to be never-ending as the company continued to grow. You sighed, rolling your neck to release some of the tension, and got back to work. The hours seemed to keep passing but the piles of paper were never ending. A gentle knock on your office caused you to look up as Yelena walked in. “Hi,” you said. She looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Are you?” She countered. “We were supposed to meet at Kumos and you weren’t answering your phone. I was worried,” you glanced at the clock. 

“Shit,” you stood up suddenly, knocking against your desk. The lamp rattled from the impact. “I’m so sorry. I lost track of time.” You rushed out. Your hands shook as you began to organize the papers on your desk. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” But you shook your head. 

“I should have been paying attention to the time,” you said. You felt the panic build in your chest. “I got busy with all this,” you gestured to the mess on your desk. “I’m not creating excuses,” you added on. “I-”

“Dorogoy (sweetheart),” she cut you off, raising her hands to stop you. You flinched from the sudden action. Yelena frowned, the worry evident on her face. “Baby,” she said slowly. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. You needed to get out of here. Quickly, you ran into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. You locked it and slid down the wall until you hit the ground. It felt like there was a thousand pounds of pressure resting on your chest. Every breath you tried to take got caught in your lungs. Everything felt too small and too big at once like you were sinking and couldn’t get out. 

 *     

 Yelena watched as you quickly ran into the small bathroom and slammed the door shut. The sound caused the blonde to snap out of her haze and rush to the door but she heard the door lock. “Fuck,” she mumbled. She knew banging on the door and pleading for you to come out would send you deeper into a panic attack. She’s had to calm her sister down from them. Fishing her phone out of her pocket she scrolled through her contacts. Tony was out of town. She wasn’t sure if she could get her sister involved and she sure wasn’t hell going to call Wanda. That left Pepper. The Russian has texted the CEO a handful of times, mostly regarding takeout when they were at the office late. She was running out of options and hit call. The CEO picked up on the second ring. 

“Yelena,” she said slowly. “What’s wrong?” The blonde sighed and began to pace in front of your bathroom. 

“I’m in Y/n’s office and she had a panic attack and locked herself in the bathroom. I didn’t know who to call or what to do,” Yelena rattled off. Pepper was silent on the other end. 

“I’ll be right down,” she sighed in relief. 

“Thank you. I owe you one,” Pepper chuckled. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the CEO said. “You don’t owe me anything.”

*       

You were still on the floor, back against the wall, and knees to your chest. Everything you tried to calm your breathing down didn’t work and you felt yourself panic all over again. “Hey, it’s me,” you heard Pepper say. “Can you open the door for me?” You couldn’t move. “Or do you want me to use Tony’s spare key?”

“Key,” you said. The door unlocked and Pepper slowly opened it. You watched with tears in your eyes as she closed it behind her and sat down next to you. 

“When was the last time you washed this floor?” She joked. You laughed as the dam finally broke. “Come here,” she pulled in a side hug as you cried against her. 

“Is-is she mad at me?” You asked. 

“No, she’s just worried but we aren’t going to talk about that right now. I just need you to breathe.” You’ve been plagued by panic attacks all of your life and you were prescribed medication at 10 years old. Sometimes the pill didn’t help and your anxiety got the better of you. But this helped, being fully hugged by another person grounded you. You focused on the way Pepper slowed down her breathing and the scent of her floral perfume. “Tell me,” she finally said, drawing circles on your back. “What’s going through your head?” You let out a shaky breath. 

“I got caught up in work,” you told her. “And I missed a date with Yelena. I panicked.” 

“Why did you panic? Yelena told me you flinched when she raised her hands.” You did?

“I thought she was going to be mad at me,” you said slowly. Pepper pulled away from you to sit in front of you. She pulled your legs down so you could get more air in your lungs.

“Can you be honest with me for one question?” You nodded. “Did Wanda hit you?” Your eyes widened at the accusation. 

“What? No, never,” Pepper didn’t look convinced. “I promise. Sometimes she would get upset if she thought I was prioritizing work over our relationship. It was my fault,” you defended. “I should have done better. I should have been better.” Pepper sighed. 

“Honey, you and Tony are so much alike I have to remind myself you aren’t a full-blood Stark,” you smiled, wiping away some of your tears. “Do you know how many times he has missed a date because he was too busy? I’ll answer, a lot,” you chuckled. Half the time you were in the lab when Pepper came looking. She never got angry with him, a simple roll of her eyes and she asked what he was working on. You would order pizza or Chinese and the three of you would sit and talk and laugh. It was some of your favorite memories. “I knew he didn’t love me any less. His brain is just a little scattered just like yours.” That was an underestimate, you had so many thoughts and ideas running through your head it was a little overwhelming. “My guess is when you missed a date with Wanda you made it up to her an extravagant way the next day.” You nodded. 

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I just didn’t want her to be upset with me. I-” You cleared your throat. “I sometimes flinch when someone raises their voice or moves their hands quickly. I love my parents but they argued a lot.” 

“Have you told Yelena this?” You shook your head, looking down at your hands. “Why?”

“Wanda didn’t seem interested in helping me through it,” you shrugged. “I learned to manage it by myself.” Wanda was your first real girlfriend. You didn’t count quick flings in high school and college or random hookups here and there. You were too busy with work or school or managing your public image. 

“Look at me,” you did. She was pissed. You’ve seen her with this dark look in her eyes when she was speaking to Stark’s competitors or dealing with the press. “I need you to listen to me, okay?” You nodded. “Yelena is not Wanda and I know it’s gonna take time for you to trust her with this part of you but doesn’t seem better to have some help with this,” you nodded. It was lonely, swimming in the dark cavern looking for a way out. Pepper smiled. “Do you want to speak with Yelena?”

“Yes, please,” you were surprised that she was still here. “Thank you, Pepper. I appreciate it.” The CEO stood up and walked over to the door. 

“We are family, always have been, and always will be, got it?” You nodded. “Now follow up question, do you want me to kill Wanda?” Your jaw dropped but soon your laugh echoed against the bathroom walls. “I’m serious. I don’t care if she’s my sister-in-law or whatever.” 

“No need,” you smiled. “Besides I think that list is pretty long.” 

“Ain't that the truth,” Pepper winked at you before exiting that bathroom. 

The door wasn’t closed for long as it reopened and Yelena walked in, taking the spot where Pepper sat. “Hi baby,” you whispered, holding out your hand. She took it. “First, I’m sorry I hid from you. I was just scared and stressed with work. Second, thank you for calling Pepper.” She nodded as she stared at your connected hands. 

“What can I do to help?” She questioned. You raised your eyebrows in question. “Your panic attacks. What do you need?” Oh. Wanda never asked. “For me, I don’t like to be touched and the 5 senses counting down works best for me,” you frowned. 

“I don’t know you got panic attacks.” Yelena chuckled. 

“I bounced around Russian and American foster homes of course I have panic attacks.”

“Why haven’t you told me about them?”

“Why haven’t you told me about yours?” She countered. You sighed, looking away from her. “Not sure when the best time to talk about my past.” She squeezed your hand. 

“Wanda didn’t bother to help me,” you admitted. “So I’ve learned to keep it to myself.”

“Hey,” she said softly. You looked at her. “I’m not Wanda. I’m here for the good and the bad, okay?” You nodded. 

“Okay,” you whispered. 

*  

You were sitting on the couch while you listened to Sarah and Tony bicker back and forth. According to Maria, you were ahead of schedule so you had a few moments of peace before it got crazy again. “Knock, knock,” the door to your suite opened. Natasha walked in wearing a sage green dress.

“Looking good, Romanoff,” Tony whistled. The redhead rolled her eyes.

“You clean up nice, Stark,” she looked at you. “Can we talk?” You hated the way your stomach dropped.

“Yeah, of course,” you stood up and walked over to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you gave her a pointed look. “Okay, Yelena had a small panic attack and locked herself in the bathroom. She’s refusing to come out.”

“Take me to her.” You said to her without hesitation.

“I can’t,” she sighed. “She doesn’t want you to see her.”

“I can speak to her through the door,” you reasoned with her. “Natasha, please.”

“Come on,” Natasha gave in. You left your suite without a word to your bridal party and followed her to her room where Yelena was getting ready. You were grateful for Natasha. If it wasn’t for her gentle push you knew you would have danced around your feelings for her sister, too scared to mess up your friendship with her.

  *       

 “Just send it over to me,” you said, pacing behind your desk. “No, I trust you completely but you have your hands full and I can help,” the door to your office quietly opened. You smiled at your girlfriend and put your finger up to tell her you would be done in a minute. “Hope, I promise it’s not that big of a deal.” Yelena pushed your chair out of the way and sat on top of your desk. You smiled. “I know the next time I’m in California we'll get drinks. Give my love to Scott and Cassie. Bye,” you hung up. Yelena spread her legs to make space for you. You through your phone onto the chair and placed your hands on her thighs. “What are you doing, baby?” You asked. She placed her arms around your neck. 

“I was missing you,” you smirked. 

“You saw me at the all-company meeting.” She huffed. 

“Not the same and you know it,” she pouted. You chuckled, kissing her shoulder and up to her neck. She pulled you closer. 

“You can’t stay long,” you mumbled inches away from her lips. “I have a meeting with your sister.” The blonde rolled her eyes, groaning slightly. 

“Please never mention my sister and kiss me.” You obeyed because you could never deny her. You kept the kiss slow, not trusting yourself to get carried away. Yelena was intoxicating, that was the best way to describe her. You could get lost in the way she kissed and touched you. 

“Yelena,” you warned when you felt her tug your hair slightly. “We can’t do this here.” You wanted to push all your work off your desk and take her right here but you couldn’t. The morning wasn’t enough for you. 

“Your meeting with your Chief of Staff isn’t for another 45 minutes,” Yelena mumbled. “You can make me cum before then.” You groaned, resting your head on her shoulder. 

“Baby girl,” you whispered, kissing her neck. “You can’t say stuff like that.” You heard her breathing hitch when your lips grazed a sensitive spot on her neck. 

“Clocks a ticking, moya lyubov’ (my love),” the last of your restrain flew out of the window and you crashed your lips against hers. She smiled, grabbing onto you tightly as your fingers fiddled with the belt of her pants and unzipped the zipper. 

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” You asked, hands skimming underneath her shirt and goosebumps erupted on her skin. “It’s so hard to keep my hands off of you.”

“Pozhaluysta (please), don’t tease me.” You chuckled, nipping at the skin underneath her ear. You were careful to not leave any visible marks. 

“I got you, sweetheart,” you promised. “I’ll always have you.” You trailed your hand down her chest and trailed your finger underneath her pants, the door of your office opened. Yelena jumped, zipping up her pants. 

“Ugh,” Natasha groaned. “Not you two too,” she walked over to your desk with the paperwork for your meeting. “I already have to worry about walking in on Carol and Val.” Yelena burrowed her face in the crook of your neck unable to look at her sister. You chuckled. 

“Please, I’ve walked in on you and Bucky so many times,” Natasha smirked. 

“A little tip, lock the door,” she hit Yelena on the shoulder. “Come on sestra you can get laid on company time after our meeting.” You felt the blonde let out a small huff and jump off your desk, kissing you softly. Your girlfriend flipped her sister off before leaving your office and closed the door behind her. 

“Shut up,” you said, sitting down in your chair. 

“I have to go bleach my eyes after this meeting,” you rolled your eyes as Natasha sat down. But that smirk was still on her face. “Or drink it so I can forget the image of you having your hand down my sister’s pants.”

“My hand was not down her pants,” you deadpanned. Natasha glared at you. “Whatever, let’s get this meeting going.” Natasha chuckled. 

“Of course, someone has a meeting to have an orgasm.” 

*     

Natasha opened the door to the suite and it was empty of Yelena’s bridal party. She opened the closed door. “Thank you.”

“I’ll give you space. Call me if you need anything,” you nodded and walked over to the bathroom door, gently knocking on the door.

“Go away,” her voice shook. You fought every nerve in your body to break down the door and wrap her in your arms.

“Sweetheart, it’s me.” She was silent on the other side.

“You're not supposed to see me.” You smiled.

“I’m behind the door, my love. I can’t see you, I promise. Can you tell me what’s going on?” You could hear her breathing begin to pick up. “Hey, hey,” you cooed. “Count for me, baby. 5 things you can see.” You wondered if she heard you as she was so quiet.

“Natasha’s makeup bag, a hair dryer, my towel, Melina’s robe,” she laughed. “And a bottle of vodka Alexei left.” You laughed along with her. You loved Melina and Alexei, the odd couple who always made you laugh.

“Good job sweetheart. 4 things you can touch.”

“Bathroom mat, the door, the tile floor, and the silk of my robe.” You praised her each time she counted something in the bathroom that went along with her senses until her breathing slowed down. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You shouldn’t have to deal with me like this,” you shook your head even though she couldn’t see you. You sat down with your back against the door.

“Nonsense,” you said. “You will always be my number one priority. So why did you lock yourself in the bathroom?” You asked. You heard her sigh.

“People are going to be looking at me,” she finally said. You kept the snarky comment at bay; ‘Well it is your wedding.’ You knew there was more. “And I started to panic because what if I fall or mess up my vows or Alexei embarrasses me.” You smiled.

“Well, he’s already going to do that so that’s a given,” she chuckled. “Do you want to call off the wedding?” Yelena gasped.

“No, no. I think Natasha would kill me,” You knew she would never do that. “And I’m not doubting I want to marry you,” well that was a relief. “I just panicked.” You hummed. “You must think I’m stupid.”

“Never, baby, I understand anxiety better than most people. There are going to be a lot of eyes on both of us but do you know where my eyes will be?”

“Where?” Yelena questioned.

“On you. I don’t care about anybody else,” you truthfully said. “And you just have to keep your eyes on me. Nobody else matters,” she was quiet as you brought one leg up to your chest and chuckled. “Do you remember when I asked you to marry me?”

“Before or after I punched you,” she deadpanned. You laughed which caused Yelena to laugh along with you. You asked her to marry her on parent’s farm. She was in disbelief at the question her instinct was to punch you. It got a laugh out of everyone that was there to witness it but she said yes.

“Happiest day of my life,” you admitted. “Well, that is a lie, every day spent with is the happiest day of my life.”

“That was disgustingly cute,” you rolled your eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you smiled. “So are we going to get married today?” You heard rustling on the other side of the door, you figured she was standing up. You mirrored her actions. The clicking of the door unlocked and it opened slightly. She brought out her hand and you took it.

“See you are the alter,” you kissed her hand.

“See you there.”

*     

Oh, you were going to throw up. You wanted to take back everything you said. You were nervous as Maria kissed your cheek and Howard hugged you, and they left you at the altar. They took their seats next to the empty ones you left for your parents. Next was the wedding party and you felt Tony grab onto your shoulder. “You are going to cause an earthquake for how much you are shaking,” he mumbled. “Breathe.” You nodded as Cooper and Nate walked down the aisle followed by Lila and Morgan. The music changed, the crowd stood up, and there she was.

“Holy shit,” you said, smiling. You heard Tony and Pepper chuckle at your reaction. It was the first time you saw the dress. Yelena went dress shopping with Melina, Natasha, Laura, and Pepper when you were on a work trip. The dress had a lace top and the style hugged every curve. It had a beautiful train behind her. Every guest's eyes were on her, she was the star of the show but her green eyes were only on you. Alexei kissed Yelena on the top of her head when they stopped in front of you and he turned to face you.

“You hurt, my little girl, I will kill you,” he deadpanned but you saw the joke in his eyes. “I have the skills to do it.” You rolled your eyes at the man.

“Dad,” Yelena warned but Alexei ignored his daughter and hugged you tight.

“You are good for her,” he whispered. “You keep her heart good.” He let you go and joined Melina at his seat. You took her hands and smiled.

“Hi,” you said. “You didn’t fall.” Yelena chuckled softly.

“No,” she whispered. “My eyes were only on you.”

*     

With the ceremony over, changed into your reception suit, and a plate full of food, you made your way back to the sweetheart's table. You stopped as you saw Wanda walking with Carol. You knew she RSVP you still weren’t sure if she’d come. Placing your bowl of mac and cheese down and took a sip of your drink. Damn your wife for getting you addicted to the cheesy pasta. Wife. Yelena was your wife. You loved the sound of that. You walked over to your ex. To your surprise, she smiled when she saw you. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” You admitted.

“You are the one that invited me.”

“Well, you invited me to yours. I was just returning the favor,” You looked around the venue. “Where’s the hubby?” You questioned.

“Watching the twins,” you raised your eyebrow.

“He doesn’t like me very much does he?” You asked. She didn’t answer but her smile told you everything. There was a time you hated the man too but you learned to let that emotion go. It was better to move forward and not get stuck in the past.

“I wanted to apologize to you and at some point Yelena.” That was odd. “Natasha knocked some sense into me.” You chuckled. “So I’m sorry.” You crossed your arms.

“For what exactly?” There was a lot she needed to apologize and you wondered what she was going to pick. Wanda sighed.

“I have a lot to apologize for but I’m sorry for everything I said about you and Yelena. It was done in poor taste and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“I’m not giving it to you,” her face showed the shock she was in. “I don’t think you realize how damaging your actions and words hurt me and the person I love.”

“Why did you invite my family?” She asked.

“I could ask you the same question,” You moved to stand next to her to overlook the party. Yelena was doing a shot with Natasha, Bucky, and Alexei. She changed out of her wedding dress into a white jumpsuit. You loved the way she was smiling. “I don’t like how things ended between us,” you stated. “At one point you were my best friend but it got us to where we needed to be. You with Vision and me with Yelena. I guess it counts for something,” You looked at Wanda, who was frowning. “You aren’t happy with Vision, are you?” Wanda sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

“Not as happy as I thought I’d be.” You wondered what was going on behind closed doors. You hummed.

“Maybe that’s your problem, Wanda. The talent behind happiness is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.” You walked over to Yelena, wrapping your arms around her waist. “Having fun?” You asked. She excitedly nodded her head.

“I beat Bucky at Pennies,” she said, smiling at you sheepishly. You squeezed her waist to get her to tell you what she was hiding. “You are going to need more mac and cheese, I ate yours.” You gasped.

“Baby!” You spun her around in your arms as she laughed. “We have an all-you-can-eat mac and cheese bar and you eat mine.” Her laughter continued as she rested her chin on your chest. “Why did you eat mine?”

“Because it was just sitting there and I like how you make yours and I couldn’t let it get cold so I ate it.” She giggled.

“God, I fucking love you,” you mumbled, kissing her.

“ya tozhe tebya lyublyu, moya zhena (I love you too, my wife)”

“Moya zhena (my wife),” you repeated and kissed her again.

_

Taglist: dogtamer415, justyourwritter69, marvelogic, upsidedowndanvers, theenglishswiftie, dark-hunter16, marvels--slut, janstevenswife, casquinhaa, marvelwomen-simp, dmenby3100, sleeperthelazy, rioheartz, mmmmokdok, wonrius, gemz5, ctrlamira, wandasmarley

[thegreymoon]

Mo Ran is so gay it isn't even funny.

Now, this is just my opinion and I realise other people have their own interpretations, but this whole episode is super telling to me of just how unreliable his narration is about having tons and tons of sex with people of both genders in his previous lifetime. He's just so... oblivious. None of this reads as a man with a lot of previous experience with many different people. He did not pick up on her flirting with him at all. Sure, he did have a lot of insane sex in his past life, but as the book unfolds, it becomes very clear that most of that sex was with Chu Wanning. At best, there were only a handful of other people he was involved with, and one was a prostitute he was paying, while the other was his wife whose relationship with him was also transactional.

I know people argue that he is bisexual because he married Song Qiutong, but when we actually get her POV on their marriage, it turns out that they had unenjoyable sex only a handful of times, at least one of which was him taking her from behind and very much imagining that it was Chu Wanning in her place. There are plenty of gay men who end up married to straight women (and vice versa) for whatever reasons and none of this makes them any less gay. He also identifies as a 'cut-sleeve' himself at one point, so he doesn't seem at all confused about his sexual attraction to men. Later on, when we finally get his unaltered POV on his life in the brothel, it comes out that he considered the girls there as sisters at best, never as sexual partners. The only other named sexual partner is Rong Jiu, who is male, and I can buy that there were possibly other people who looked like Shi Mei that he was with under the influence of the cursed love spell, but there was never any real attraction there, which is why some argue that he is attracted only to Chu Wanning and would still be attracted to him regardless of gender.

But I think that this is also not true. He definitely was obsessed with Chu Wanning from an early age, which makes it hard to see what his preferences would have been if Chu Wanning wasn't in the picture, but that chapter when he finally realises his feelings also reveals that he does have a type, which he never dared to think about before because he thought he was unworthy of having a choice. However, Chu Wanning fits this type to a tee, so it's easy to run away with the idea that he is shizunsexual and that Mo Ran's attraction begins and ends with him.

With that said, we do get confirmation later on that he does find other men attractive, in particular, Jiang Xi. It's just that he never has the space or the inclination to do anything about it because of his preoccupation with Chu Wanning. In the extras, when Mo Ran misunderstands Xue Men's relationship with Jiang Xi and thinks they are having a love affair, in his unfiltered Taxian-jun state, he is full of approval because he personally finds these powerful, beautiful, prickly, emotionally unavailable older men to be the height of attractiveness. If Chu Wanning hadn't been in the picture, Mo Ran would have definitely been attracted to Jiang Xi or someone similar. Even Ye Wangxi, whom he also fixates on, fits this type (except for the older man bit because I understood her to be only a few years older than Mo Ran). The fact that she turns out to be a woman also cannot be used as an argument for Mo Ran's bisexuality because she very much presents as a man throughout the book (but whether or not she actually identifies as one is debatable).

In short, Mo Ran does have a type of man he is attracted to and it is definitely men that he likes, regardless of his few dubious and very unsatisfying dalliances with women. While Chu Wanning definitely fits this type of ideal man, there are other men out there whom Mo Ran finds attractive too, it's just that he is too unhinged about Chu Wanning to actually do anything about it. Also, I very much doubt that Mo Ran was nearly as promiscuous as he makes himself out to be because he reads as very oblivious when it comes to sexual relationships in general. Even with Chu Wanning, who was right there and about to pass away from sheer horniness that he couldn't even begin to disguise, Mo Ran was still going, "Shizun is so pure and virtuous!" 🙄

(I'm not going to get into the whole Shi Mei situation and how badly he misread him every step of the way too, but that is because his brain was so badly mangled by him that he really stood no chance on that front until it was entirely too late.)

[stars-n-spice]

Things my family said after I forced them to watch the Bad Batch Clone Wars arc with me because it was my birthday:

This was the first time ever that my mom watched Bad Batch and did not ask me who Wrecker was or why I have a crush on him lmao

My mom: "Why do they age like that?" - "They white-washed the clones." - "Oh."

A clone would pop up on the screen and my sister would go, "Crosshair?" or like,, try and get their names right and then get all happy when I said she was correct

Tech spoke and my mom burst out laughing and looked right at me - "He seems very familiar."

"Crosshair has HAIR?!?" <- one of my sisters who has seen these episodes repeatedly because I always watch them

My brother asked if Rex was going through a breakup and if that's why he's blonde - then he asked "Oh, he's Anakin's bro though, right?" And when I confirmed it he was he went, "Oh, nvm. That makes sense." Which ???? Hello??

He ALSO asked if it was canon that Hunter was very hairy??? Because in his mind,, if he was really hairy that's why he has good senses - like how the hairs in our ear pick up sound or something??? And then said if he made fanart of Hunter he would make him very hairy. Which,, I completely approve of and want to see more of.

Every time one of the Bad Batch would do or say something one of my siblings (out of the four I have) would say something along the lines of - "Autism." Or "Oh my god they're so autistic." - They said this the most with Tech and Wrecker though, but Crosshair was a close third.

When Crosshair did that little shot with putting the Firepuncher on Tech's shoulder my sister was impressed - "Oh, that was smooth."

And then everyone made fun of Hunter for taking off on the grappling hook, firing at the Poletec and missing (My mom: "Yeah, shoot at it so it drops you a hundred feet from the ground, that's real smart"), and then fucking falling off of it

When Crosshair was goading Rex about Echo my mom was like "Why did he come if he's going to act like this?" And I told her, "He's a little bitch." And she burst out laughing.

Then when Rex, Crosshair, and Wrecker were fighting my dad was like "😧 so violent!"

My mom didn't believe Rex in thinking Echo was alive - she kept going, "I don't know..." and then they opened the stasis chamber and she was like "😮 omg he was right."

They all collectively felt bad for Echo after seeing him for the first time - "Oh, THAT'S why he looks like that 😦. That's inhumane." <- my sister who would make fun of him every time he saw him

He'd turn around or something and show off all the holes and they would flinch and cringe :(

Then my brother and sister started talking about accessorizing him and putting flowers and stuff in those holes :( which I thought was sweet

And my mom kept yelling at Tech to "UNPLUG HIM ALREADY!!!!"

My mom kept saying that someone needed to get Echo some pants - "Mom, I don't think they brought pants on the mission." - "So? Anakin has like three layers! He can give him some clothes!"

She also kept saying "me duele la cabeza" every time Echo touched his head

My sister called Hunter a "femboy" after he did his little head roll he does after taking out those droids - which,, uh,, okay?? sure I guess???

And my brother called either Crosshair or Hunter gay at one point for like,, no reason I mean,, obvious reasons but I cannot remember when or why he said that

They kept asking why they didn't get shot at all and kept giving the droids shit about being useless

My mom about Tech being like 🤓☝🏽: "Why does he do that? Does the finger do anything?? Does it get the information out faster??" - My brother: "It's his antenna." - My mom: *bursts out laughing*

every time Mace Windu was on the screen they would complain about his design - "Why'd they make him look like E.T?" <- my dad

They did not like Admiral Trench at all - thought he was gross

They thought Wrecker and Crosshair one upping each other was funny

Also also - My Mom: "Crosshair can shoot again?" <- she watched s3 with me (without seeing any prior bad batch episodes) - "Yeah, he doesn't have trauma yet." - "Oh."

"It must be so fun to be a part of a group with zero brain cells." <- my brother about the Bad Batch

It was funny because they'd ask questions of like "how" and "why" literally seconds before the characters themselves would ask the questions and then go like "THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING ANAKIN!!"

There was probably more shit they said but that's all I remember off the top of my head.

Also here are some things I noticed that I hadn't before:

Crosshair is a fucking DIVA. Holy shit?? It's so weird to go from s3 Crosshair to TCW s7 Crosshair because they feel like two different people. For some reason he seemed really young to me? Like I know that the Bad Batch are all technically supposed to be the same age and Crosshair is just the "youngest" but for some reason he REALLY seems like the youngest in TCW. Like to the point where he seems ACTUALLY a few years younger than the rest of them. Like if all of them are supposed to be 26(ish) he felt like he was 24 or something because he was being a little teenage brat like,, holy shit.

Like you have Hunter kinda acting like his interpreter and explaining his behavior and whatnot and then you have Wrecker who is always looking out for him and ready to square up and fight for him whenever Crosshair pushes buttons, and it just really makes it seem like Crosshair is truly the youngest. And not even like in terms of "coming out the tube last" or whatever, but like,, in a regular family dynamic he seemed a few years younger than the rest of them.

Idk if that makes sense,, but like,, he was acting like a teenage brat or something and it made him seem so much younger than he is??

After Rex gives the speech to the Poletec to convince them to join the fight, Crosshair goes "UGH" and Dee Bradley Baker put so much sass and disgust into it - I was fucking dying,, holy shit.

Also my mom and brother pointed out that Wrecker flips over the gunship with ONE hand and I wasn't able to function for a good while. Max.exe stopped working because I realized they were RIGHT and oh my god oh my god oh my god-

ALSO!! ECHO HAD EARS THIS ENTIRE TIME AND I THINK WE JUST COLLECTIVELY FORGOT??

I mean,, I say "we" but maybe it was just me - but like,, I remember when Echo took off his helmet in s3 when he was infiltrating Tantiss and everyone collectively lost their shit

BUT LIKE!! AFTER THEY RESCUE HIM AND HE HAS HIS LITTLE JUMPSUIT THINGY HE HAS HIS EARS!!

Idk - I think my family thought I was crazy because all of a sudden I started to shout "HE'S HAD EARS THIS WHOLE TIME?!?" in the middle of an episode

[caliburn-the-sword]

a (non)comprehensive list of all characters that i as a child decided were asian because representation hardly existed in the early 2010's, with varying degrees of asian-coding and/or canon. it also gets more unhinged

will not be tagging SHIT because i would like to not experience hate but also i feel like my mutuals would somewhat enjoy this. as a kid, my only requirements were that they either 1) had dark hair 2) had dark eyes or 3) had unnatural hair/eye/skin colour in which case i could go nuts

list is under the cut:

you liked these fairies cause you were gay?? i liked them because they were asian to me we are NOT the same (i am also gay). both are asian coded so i wasn't wrong. also shoutout to vidia for being asian and an absolute BITCH. i think her back is sore from carrying the bitchy asian rep. no one's doing it like her

musa from winx. also asian coded so it works

batman. NOT to be confused with bruce wayne. bruce wayne is white af even to me as a child. but when he had the mask on i could project on him and call him chinese

dick grayson's robin in almost all cartoon iterations (pictured above in the batman) but also including:

to be clear, this is NOT to be confused with dick grayson the civilian, or dick grayson as nightwing. by my 9 y/o logic those guys were both white af. but when dick grayson had the robin mask on that gave room for me to project, as such they're asian

zatanna zatara is wasian IN MY HEART. to ME her mum is chinese and obvi her dad is italian so she's almost just like me (chinese/spanish). idc argue with the wall

superman but ONLY the justice league unlimited version

huntress bertinelli, for the same reasons as zatanna, was always wasian to me. but she gave off half korean, half italian vibes. i will not explain myself

now is raven from a different plane than us?? yes. however azarath is home to asians idek

sorry guys jinx is a bad bitch so she's also asian

while we're at it, beast boy is also asian but ONLY in teen titans. unfortunately young justice beast boy is whitewashed (he was never asian to begin with). i asked my sister if she ever asian-washed characters when watching tv she said no (rudeass) but i provided multiple teen titans as an example and my mum was like "wait?? beast boy isn't asian?? i thought he was asian??" so beast boy is actually mum-approved-asian. i don't make the rules

draculaura from monster high was always asian to me idc what the haters say. everyone say thank you to the monster high reboot for giving me asian draculaura because frankly i deserve it

also. robecca steam is south asian in my heart

jackson jekyll was also asian. idk. he just was

now, since the eah reboot made draculaura wasian i'm BEGGING for there to be an eah reboot because they will do my girl raven queen justice. SHE is asian

kitty cheshire is also asian i don't make the rules

sorry guys duchess swan is also asian

while i'm at it, faybelle thorn is also asian talk to the wall

now i need you guys to pinky promise to be nice to me. percy jackson was wasian to me until ethan nakamura was introduced. only after ethan's introduction did my 13 y/o ass let percy be white again

tony stark is asian but ONLY in iron man armoured adventures

now, a plethora of xmen evolution characters are actually asian (source: i made it the fuck up) these include, but are not limited to: wolverine, x23, wanda and pietro

[greenfiend]

my older sister is just watching s4 for the first time when her toddler is put to bed. total GA, not a queer audience member, didn't catch up with anything prior to s4 but remembers enough to understand what's going on.

here are her thoughts before she embarks on the final ep!

she's a massive argyle fan - the way he is just making pizza when they're prepping to fight a demon haha

she's 'scared to watch' the finale: "I am scared of the horrible basketball twat to ruin their plan. Hate him"

"I also now feel like I need to rewatch seasons 1 and 2"

"Also. I know this is probably hella unpopular opinion but I really dislike Millie Bobby brown. She’s not a bad actress at all though"

"I love will"

I'll include our exact convo about this:

Sis: Will is in love with Mike right? It’s so adorable and heartbreaking

me: I KNOW. you wouldnt believe how many people didnt pick up on that and still think will is in love with eleven like wtf

sis: WHAT. no way

me: they’re like ‘there werent gay people in the 80s’

sis: omg stop

then she started talking about the hella other things going on. "There’s actually no characters I don’t like apart from the ones you’re supposed to not like." she said there's so many 'bad dads', she HATES papa lmao ('he's so desperate and cringe. "Approve of me even tho I treat you like shit!")

she started by watching while she works in her studio so probs missed all the mike clues, but she's fully focussed now for the finale, and it sounds like she'll be more than thrilled to find byler is requited as she adores will!

i'll update her thoughts post-finale when they come in :) let's see if she picks up on it!

I absolutely love knowing people’s thoughts when they watch ST for the first time. 😃

I think the majority of people who have paid some attention figured out fairly easily that Will is gay and that he loves Mike! My partner figure out he was gay from the very beginning. But with Mike… I tried to make them guess why Mike couldn’t love El and it took a while but finally they guessed correctly. Lol

When it comes to Mike, the clues are there but El is covering them up so to speak. The mere fact that he has a girlfriend is making most people assume that he’s straight. Especially because El is such a focus in the show.

I remember for me as a GA, the thought of Will/Mike was always somewhat of a possibility in my head- just because they are so emotionally intimate. Even though I didn’t know if the writers were going that direction, I definitely never ruled it out.

Overall, I think most of the GA will be satisfied with Will/Mike, especially if it’s all explained explicitly enough for them!

Thanks for the ask!

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

https://www.tumblr.com/blissfulphilospher/748378340909531136/so-i-dont-know-why-i-am-posting-this-but-i-had?source=share

It's funny when these people pretend to like book! Rhaenyra, and when they explain why they like her, they basically describe her in the same way that people who hate her do.

También es irónico cómo estas personas se llaman a sí mismas "equipo de mujeres malvadas" y luego lloran y vilipendian a Rhaenyra porque no quería estar en una fiesta de cumpleaños donde le iban a faltar el respeto, y luego dicen que estaba siendo mala con un niño, del que ni siquiera ha hecho una broma inofensiva. ¿Se supone que debo creer que te gustan personajes como Cersei cuando ni siquiera soportas a un adolescente con razones justificables para estar enojado?

Yeah I've got manyyyy issues with people like op. Like you said, the way they describe Rhaenyra is...telling. As is how they describe Alicent.

First of all: op claims that Alicent tried to "mend the relationship" between Rhaenyra and Aegon. That's just false. Alicent proposed Viserys marry Aegon to Rhaenyra, in an attempt to get Aegon closer to the throne. Which is partially why Viserys refused to approve the match.

Op is engaging in a lot of speculation, like the claim that "Daemon manipulated Rhaenyra" into hating her siblings. There's literally no evidence that Rhaenyra hates her siblings prior to Luke's murder. Is she close to them? Not her brothers, no, but she did have some kind of relationship with Helaena, as is implied by her calling her "my sweet sister, Helaena."

I'm not going to go into how op sees Daemon, but I will say, how they view him and Rhaenyra is basically just how Hess does. Rhaenyra isn't allowed to form her own opinions on her family, negative or otherwise, and Daemon is an evil monster.

I will agree with op that Rhaenyra isn't a good person, however, that's the only time. The things op accuses Rhaenyra of are...really not true other than the fact that she fed Vaemond to Syrax.

They accuse her of "offering her brothers for Laenor...she hosted a lavish feast in a starving city, she was a woman and let the men do the fighting."

Let's unpack that. The quote op is referring to concerning Laenor is:

"My half-brothers would be more to his taste," [Rhaenyra] told the king.

Fire & Blood: Heirs of the Dragon - A Question of Succession

This is taken out of context in the worst possible way by op. Rhaenyra is arguing with her father about marrying Laenor, trying to convince him not to force her to marry him. She's referencing the fact that Laenor is gay, she's in no way "offering" her brothers to him. This is an intentional choice to interpret Rhaenyra's choices as they're written in the worst possible light.

Op continues this with a very tired argument many Rhaenyra antis use: that Rhaenyra feasted in KL. The only evidence of this happening is from Septon Eustace. A man who wasn't even in KL, was noted by the writers of F&B to be unreliable due to his hatred of Rhaenyra, and who literally crowned Aegon. So, using critical thinking, we can infere that the idea that Rhaenyra feasted in KL is extremely unlikely.

As for the fighting, yes Rhaenyra didn't fight. That was due to the fact that she had no training and was recovering from a traumatic miscarriage. Normally I wouldn't point this out as an issue, but op groups it in with Rhaenyra's "flaws". Somehow, Rhaenyra not fighting in battles is a mark against her as a person. Again, intentionally a bad faith interpretation.

No, I agree with op that HOTD's changes to Rhaenyra are shitty, but the reasons are just very off. For example:

I agree with parts of this, but I do want to point out a few things. Such as, why are they calling out Arya fans? Like what does that have to do with anything? I'm sure it's because Arya is a non-conforming woman, which op isn't a fan of, considering their seeming obsession with femininity. It shows how op's personal biases are influencing their view of both the show and the book.

I'm right there with you anon on the their spiel about Aegon's birthday. Rhaenyra was being disrespected and undermined by everyone after the birth of her brother. Is it any wonder that she wasn't excited to go to an event where everyone was expecting her to be disinherited? Op literally was just saying how they loved Rhaenyra "hating" her siblings lmao.

Op also complains about the white hart incident, as well as Aegon's prophecy. This is very much a revealing complaint. They said they hate Rhaenyra being made into the "protagonist" of the show. This is interesting since Rhaenyra is the protagonist of the Dance in the book too. She's morally gray, but it's still a fact; the greens are the antagonists and the blacks are the protagonists. The white hart was confirmation of Rhaenyra being the true heir, something which is also true in the book. I don't understand how that fact being affirmed is wrong.

As for Aegon's prophecy, this is something almost every single Rhaenyra anti has complained about. This is something GRRM himself told the showrunners he wanted, which some people complain is a retcon. It's not, the books aren't done yet, this is GRRM giving us new information about his unfinished work. It also confirmed how off the rails D&D's ending is according to what GRRM has planned for the books.

Anyway, op also really hates daemyra, another thing that's very much book accurate. Op purposefully chooses to ignore any textual evidence that daemyra was more than a political alliance, but they have a history of picking and choosing canon.

I very much agree with you anon about how shallow op's love of Cersei seems to be. They strike me as the kind of person who refuses to see the grayness GRRM is known for. After all, they are frothing at the mouth at the idea of Rhaenyra being a complex character, so I somehow doubt that they can appreciate Cersei's complexity.

[writingmia]

Okay I just had an idea and I *had* to share it. I don't even ship Valgrace but this was too good not to think about. A Leo Valdez/Jason Grace 'Red, White & Royal Blue' AU.

Note: English isn't my first language, so please keep that in mind

Leo Valdez, who is half-Mexican, the son of the first American Latina female President, the one and only goddess amongst women, Esperanza Valdez. Leo, who always wanted to fix things and decided to follow his mother's footsteps in politics as a way to solve the issues he sees in his country. Leo, whom the public loves because of his sense of humour, quick wit and charm, who becomes America's sweetheart almost immediately when the elections first started.

And then you have Jason Grace, who has been born into the Royal Family and has had those duties and expectations on his shoulders from such a young age. Jason, who knows he will become a leader at some point, because his older sister, Thalia, is a rebel who refuses to conform to his family's expectations and ran away and abdicated the second she could. Jason, who is loved by his people, who is the white boy of the month every other month.

Zeus is the king, because of course he is. His Majesty, who doesn't really approve of the USA's election of Esperanza, because he sees her as lesser.

Leo and Jason who start off at the wrong foot because of something Jason unintentionally said, something that was his father's opinion and, of course, it was offensive to Leo, who immediately figured that Jason was a racist, privileged white guy who couldn't see past the tip of his nose.

Jason who's the one wearing glasses when he's at Kingston Palace and Leo who's caught off-guard by how casual he looks with them, how relaxed, not like the heir to an entire empire with a history of blood and slavery.

Leo, whose best friend is Piper McLean, the daughter of Tristan McLean, whose gaydar is immaculate and she's the one to open Leo's eyes that maybe Jason is gay, but isn't allowed to show it.

Jason, whose best friends are Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo, who also happen to be his cousins on his dad's side (yes, it's pathetic that his best friends are his cousins but he didn't really get many chances to be social growing up, okay?!), who are both incredibly chaotic in their own ways. Percy, who immediately gets along with Leo and the two exchange sassy comments and send each other memes constantly. Nico, who knew Leo was bi before Leo himself knew, and fed into Jason's delusions until he had the balls to kiss Leo on his famed New Year's Party.

Thalia, who would be in the picture occasionally, but is mostly busy touring the US with her rock/metal band called 'The Hunters', whose first album was inspired by Greek Mythology and specifically the myths surrounding Artemis, which is so what they titled their debut album.

Annabeth, who is Piper and Leo's genius best friend and the only keeper of the singular braincell in their trio, who has been wanting to become the youngest woman to ever hold a Senate seat ever. Percy, who is completely enamoured by her the second he sees her and the two start their own romance on the side.

I'm obsessed with this idea, I think it has so much potential.

I wrote that very quickly and I've barely proof-read it, but I just felt like the idea had to get out of my head because it deserves to be shared with the fandom. If someone wants to continue developing this, I would love to read more. If someone has alr written something like this and I'm not the first genius to think of it, please let me know!

- mia

[bengiyo]

Moonlight Chicken Ep 8 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

This brings us to the end of finale week, and I couldn't ask for a better show to close us out.

Yesterday, Alan opted to stay with his family instead of compelling Wen to take care of him. Also, Jim and Wen went on a cute date..Jam came to the house to tell Li Ming that she wants to remarry and also wants to be a mother to him now. Li Ming did not want any of this at all because they have never been close, she didn't raise him, and be doesn't want her making decisions for him.

Meanwhile, Jim accidentally outed Li Ming to his mom as Jim struggled with his own fears and insecurities about Li Ming. He and Jam had a not-great conversation about it, and so Jim went to talk to Wen about it. Wen gave Jim some perspective, and Jim gave Wen probably the best sniff kiss we've seen in a very long time.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Hong passed away, and we spent the back half of the episode on her funeral. Khaotung destroyed us with his performances, and the funeral opened up all of the characters to think about where they are. Li Ming and Jim reconciled. Jim cleared things with Alan, who met Gaipa at the funeral. Heart and his family came to the funeral. Jim finally decided to let go of the restaurant and set down his burdens.

We just started and I'm already crying! Jim feels so much lighter now that the restaurant and Li Ming aren't weighing him down. He's also finally acting like a gay uncle. He's helping guide Jam away from Li Ming and assuring her he'll help his nephew.

Chapter 8: The Self-made House and Home

It's such a relief to see Li Ming comfortable around Jim again.

Big fan of the "Person's for Men" hoodie.

I love Wen. I want to be this bold in love.

Fourth has incredible chemistry with Lookwa. I get why they paired them twice. Jam has had a messy romantic history her son has witnessed. I get why she values his approval.

There are so many people like Gaipa, who went on to get degrees that they don't necessarily get to use. I don't think they should be ashamed of the lives they've built.

I like that Wen and Gaipa never turned nasty with each other over Jim.

This party was so sweet. Saleng is being that cousin again. Li Ming taught Heart how to cut chicken. Wen made fuck-me eyes at Jim. Jim basked in the warmth of his little family.

I like how double-speak is a constant character trait of Alan's.

Heart's mom is really trying. I'm glad they told her about the school Heart wants to attend.

Heart and Li Ming are so adorable that it almost hurts. Fourth is all about kissing the homies.

I see Earth and Fourth aren't just gonna give me a break. "When did you know yourself?" is really the question. I don't mind Li Ming not answering, but the way he answers tells me he always knew about his uncle and chose to live with him because he didn't want to figure himself out with anyone else. I'm so glad Jim reiterated that there's nothing wrong with him, even as Li Ming gives the kid answer that getting money is more important.

That hug from behind? I think that was inspired by all of the GMMTV actors hugging Aof that way. Gosh, Fourth is really a special talent.

Big fan of this last minute complication in Wen's promotion.

The "Welcome Back Foam Fest" shirt is foreshadowing Tinn's fantasy in My School President.

First and Khaotung are so powerful. They sailed an entire ship in two scenes.

Kinda like the idea of Jim with a food truck.

Oh, I'm crying because of Mark Pakin again. Leng got the necklace back, and is working well enough that Praew can focus on carrying for their son, Jason.

Jim took Wen to meet his sister's new family and called him boyfriend. Wen is giddy in his seat over it.

I said this earlier, but Lookwa and Fourth work so well together. I like how she immediately tried to use sign to thank Heart. You can see her making the decision to get the money for Li Ming to go with Heart to America.

They really did the thing with Heart and Li Ming. I see why GMMTV greenlit them for Our Skyy 2 even before My School President released.

I really love how Aof's compassion and empathy infuses his characters. Yes, Jam was not a good mother to Li Ming, but she's trying to do right by him now. Life is the future, and she's doing what she can now to help Li Ming the way he wants to be helped.

They saw the shift in demeanor when Li Ming stopped being so angry and knew that Fourth and Gemini could carry a show.

I really love Alan joining their little family at the end here. Of course Saleng is going to tease Gaipa. I also like that Wen is learning sign language as well. What a beautiful final shot.

What a pleasant epilogue. Loved the metaphor about there being nothing wrong with the DVD, and rather it just being the player. You are still capable of love. You just need to try a different player.

Final Verdict: 10, Must Watch. This was Aof's best work so far with his best cast. This show managed all of its threads flawlessly without a single missed beat. Everyone is dialed in the entire time to tell a story about the families we build and the love we bring to our communities. In so many ways this feels like Aof in conversation with Boss from I Told Sunset About You. I have such high hopes for the future of queer storytelling out of Thailand after the last week.

[luna-misera]

Hello!!! Saw the asks we’re open so my little goblin brain was excited!!!

May I have Copia with a reader commenting on a woman’s appearance. Like “oh she’s hot” and Copia finally realizing that the reader is queer. Gender neutral please!!!

Thank you so much for stopping by! hope I am able to fulfill your request in a way that scratches your little goblin brain just right.

Copia Supports Gay Rights

Warning(s): None

It comes as no surprise that Copia is pretty oblivious... In all fairness, it is his world, and we are just living in it. The two of you were handing out flyers for an upcoming event when a Sister of Sin caught your eye. You caught a whiff of her perfume and watched intently as her hips swayed with each step.

"Oh, she's hot..." you said as a blush crept up your neck and onto your cheeks.

Copia looked over to see who exactly you were gawking at, "Hm? Who...?" he asked as his eyes followed your line of sight to the object of your attraction. When he finally spotted her, he hummed in approval, "Si, si, she is quite good-looking..." he said with a nod. There was a painfully long beat of silence as he processed the information. It was easy to know when he was thinking because his eyes would glaze over, and he would stare off into nothingness.

You watched as the Sister of Sin rounded the corner and left your line of sight. Your shoulders sagged as you sighed and returned to handing out flyers.

He turned his attention back to you, "Ah- Sibling, you like... women?" the question sounded better in his head, "Mi dispiace... I meant- Well, you know what I meant."

"Yes, Papa. I like women," you replied matter-of-factly.

Copia felt as if he was the last one receiving this information. He felt a little guilty for not realizing it sooner. The man would never forgive himself if you did not feel as though you had his support. His fingers drummed the stack of papers in his hands, "I mean, who doesn't like women, am I right?" he said jokingly.

Of course, you couldn't help but scoff and roll your eyes at him in amusement. Your smile alone meant the world to him. So, Copia gently pulled the flyers you held in your hands and added them to his stack. He then looked at you expectantly, "Well?" he asked, "What are you waiting for? Go talk to her!"

"Papa- No! I can't- I don't even know her!" you tried to protest, but he waved the stack of flyers at you defensively. It was super effective.

"So? Go introduce yourself!" Copia said as he shooed you away.

It wasn't like you could complain about getting out of work. So you tossed your arms and shook your head in defeat. When you rounded the corner, you saw the Sister of Sin was still there. You glanced over your shoulder to see Copia watching from behind the wall.

He gave you a nod of encouragement and observed as you started talking to her. When he was confident that you were fine on your own he returned to his work.

Later that week when you returned to your dorm you found a package containing a number of mini pride flags along with a note that read:

Dear Sibling of Sin, I wasn't sure which one to get you, but I hope at least one of these suits your preference? If not, please let me know! Also, I heard your date went well! You can thank me later. - C

[callmesel]

Sapphic Perciver AU

I don't know what but I have the urge to make a sapphic Perciver au.

It all started when my sister was complaining that I always talk about gays (by that she means that I only talk about Percy and Oliver and that I needed more variety in the parings I'm obsessed with.) And we started talking a bout different parings and I just jokingly tell her that I would just make them lesbians so she wouldn't hear the same thing over and over.

Even though it was a joke, it stuck with me for all this week and I cannot stop thinking about it. So I'm making this post so I can forget about it.

Their names:

Oliver - Olivia, being the female alternative of Oliver and wanted to keep as similar to their original names. Her pet name would be commonly used by her team as Ollie as a short form, like in many other fics that feature Oliver, but I like to think that Percy, being her best friend would have a specific pet name that only her could call her and that would be Livvy. I didn't know that you could use that as a pet name but I find it interesting and quite unique in some form.

Percy - Percy, as Percy is also a girl's name with its origins in France. it also could be use as a short form of Persephone, that many authors use in they fics when portraying femPercy. I like to keep her the same name as the original as it's related with being brave, something that Percy was, even if it in a different types of braveness that it normally shown in media. The name Percy also means hard working, patient, responsable, inteligent, determined and honorable, all traits I see in him and also would see in his female counterpart.

Penny - Penn, I have not really a'n explanation except the sake of keep the names as similar as possible. Searching for the male alternative for Penelope I found Penn. It is used as an abbreviation of the US state of Pennsylvania, but it's also referred to someone who lived on a hill or near a hill. Take that information whoever you want.

Other characters names are the same as in the canon so I don't really care. Would Molly have other four kids when she already had a daughter? No but is for the sake of the plot.

In my head, their story would be much like the song "Little Miss Perfect", (it screams Percy in so many ways). By that I mean that Percy, as a top student and a rol model for the younger kids, couldn't be a homosexual (in her head), in 1992 wouldn't accept her and probably harass her if anyone found out, and also her family (more like her parents) wouldn't approve either and we know that he just want their validation. Scared of not being perfect and messing up, she would ignore anything involving romantic relationship to avoid suspicion. Unfortunately for her, she would discover one night that she might be in love with her best friend, Olivia.

She doesn't take it well and does all in her power to stop seeing Olivia that way. She distants herself and gets a boyfriend, who is the boyfriend you might ask, well, is not other that Penn! Her other best friend who she asked out and accepted. They don't know what a platonic relationship is and Percy thought that this love she was feeling with Penn was "curing her" from her "sinful mind". (She comes from a religious household, non of her siblings follow this believes and neither does she, but her mother does so she thinks that her mother would think she is a siner and disown her.)

Olivia notice this suden change in Percy's actitud and she is a bit worry about her friend and crush. But because she knows Percy, she isn't going to ask her, because she probably won't response. So she asks her brothers for answers, Fred and George are not help and just tease her for asking, saying things like "Why do you wanna know? Do you goes have something?", it is a joke but it makes Olivia nervous because she doesn't want Percy to know yet. Ron didn't help either and just told her that she was worrying for now reason. However, when she asked Ginny she said that she saw her been a lot with a boy. Olivia heart shattered at that moment.

Fred and George over heard the conversation and the rumor spread like fired. There is a lot of suspected candidates that "Perfect Prefect Percy" might be dating but there were three that were the more popular. One is Cedric Diggory as it has been seen before that they are very close but Cedric deny it and he said he was already dating Cho and they where in a date the day that Ginny saw her sister, so people forgot about that. Other was Penn Clearwater as they are best friends and all, but what was the fun on that? Just two best friends who had fallen in love. Too boring for the students to be spreading around. Surprisingly, the most popular candidate was Marcus Flint, it was a wild guess but people love the drama that it would be that the good girl was dating the bad boy. Some students said that they were siting at the library together a lot that week, was it true? Olivia couldn't tell.

She was definitely devastated with every posible man that was dating her best friend, but Flint? That was a backstab she couldn't forget. She wanted to scream to Percy, to tell her that she doesn't want her to be with any other men, that she stays with her and only her. But of course she could say that as it would destroy their friendship even more. She wasn't even sure if Percy knew about the rumors, but if she did, she never said anything.

She tried to confront her once, but it end up them fighting and Olivia leaving yo the quidditch pitch. It was that day that she found Marcus Flint, still annoyed from the earlier fight with Percy and her own jealousy at the possibility that her enemy on the pitch was dating her friend, she started screaming at him.

Marcus was very confused by this and he was scream at her too. But out of nowhere, Olivia started crying and Marcus was more confused. Why would she cry infront of him? In front of her rival. He felt uncomfortable so he tried to make her stop by hugging her, which make it worse.

For the sake of the plot, Percy went to the quidditch pitch to find Olivia and apologise to her, but when she heard crying on the looked rooms, her stomach sank. Her Livvy was crying because of her, she was the cause of her pain and it was killing her inside. She rushed inside to try and comfort her friend, tell her she was sorry, but that stopped as she saw her in Flint's arms. Olivia quickly push Flint away when she saw Percy entering but it was too late, Percy had seen them and had left as fast as she came.

Percy runned back to the castle, not knowing what to do. Why was she so hurt? Wasn't she cured from this cursed? She cried feeling that her heart being ripped away from her.

The next day Olivia tried to talk to Percy, to tell her that what she saw yesterday was not what it seems. That she and Flint are nothing more than acquaintances. But she didn't find her anywhere.

Penn found himself comforting his crying girlfriend. He was really confused at first, and he wasn't really understanding what Percy was saying but he was going to do anything to make her feel better.

After hours of explaining and crying Penn understood, Percy was in love with Olivia and she couldn't keep dating him. He wasn't as heartbroken as he thought he would be, but that is not his priority now. Long talks about her feelings and fears, by the end Penn had convinced Percy that there was nothing wrong and the he would love her no matter what and he was sure that Olivia would do too.

Later that day, Olivia found Percy at their room and run to hug her and tried to explain but before she could say anything, Percy had kissed her on her lips. Too quick to even process it properly, Percy started to tell her how she felt, who she really was, and she was sorry but she had to tell her. That if Livvy wanted her to move rooms she would but she had to get that out of her chest.

Before she could leave, Olivia kissed her, passionately, to show her exactly how she felt. Word couldn't describe their happiness when they found out that they love each other.

They started dating, but they couldn't be public. Percy didn't feel like she was prepared for that. So they agree that Penn would be Percy's "boyfriend", the school already had spread their relationship thanks to the twins so that wasn't so difficult.

As time go on, they were more affectionate in public. Light touches, holding hands when walking along, Livvy resting her head in Percy's lap, Percy playing with Livvy's hair, even kisses on the cheek. No one thought anything because, they are best friends! Best friends do that! Even if Olivia had called Percy her girlfriend in some occasions, but so did Angelina when she hangs out with her girlfriends. Yeah, they were just friends.

They did live together when they graduated and they have matching rings with their iniciales but that is just normal bff behaviour!

It wasn't until years later that anyone had started suspecting anything.

It was Ginny who noticed the way her sister looked at her friend, the way they always seen touching each other. Friends don't do that. But she won't tell anyone, because Percy didn't say anything, she won't tell. She tell her that she knew, that she would love her no matter what.

Charlie had noticed them the first time he got back to England, his little sister wasn't exactly really secretive, or that is how he saw it.

One by one, all her siblings had found out and to be honest, it was very obvious.

It wasn't longer a secret at this point and in 2014, they officialy got married. And they become gay icons in the magic community.

Olivia is a world champion quidditch player, known as THE keeper. She plays with Puddlement United in a mix group. She is the most famous female athlete for her impressive moves and record scores.

Percy, (I like to headcanon that he did become the Minister for Magic) she became the first Ministress for Magic of all time. A dream come true. She was selected when she was 29 and was really happy. Hermione is on the same party and they have chosen Percy as their candidate as Hermione was busy with other at that time.

They didn't have kids until they were both 35, they when to a clinic and asked for a sperm donor to impregnate (never thought I would use that word) Percy as Olivia's work was more physically demanding. Percy carried their child but Olivia wanted to breastfeed, so she started taking hormones to do so (prolactin and oxytocin). Percy told her that she didn't need to but Livvy assure her that she wanted to help and when they found out that they where having twins they were thrilled. But Fred and George were even more. They have been begging for having their names match their inicial, something like Grabiella and Fionna. Olivia and Percy didn't really like the idea.

Molly and Lucy were born from minutes apart and Percy did lost a lot of blood in the process but thankfully, she made it. She did have to be there for two weeks before going home to be sure but it was a well time of rest after months of stress.

It doesn't really makes sense to me that Percy would name her daughter after her mother but maybe is to give that name a new meaning. To stop association it to her mother and more to her daughter so she isn't so hurt. (Her mother doesn't fully accept her, despite her efforts.) Also, they are fraternal twins instead of identical twins as they originally thought.

It is kind of funny to see a family only composed of women. Some people have been against them say that they needed a father figure in their kids life, (Molly l) but with so many uncles, men representation is not something really lacking from their lifes.

The twins favourite uncle was Charlie, despite Fred and George's best efforts to be their favourite. (They wanted to have a double twins stuff with them) he introduced them to their dragon obsession, Molly more that Lucy but still, they are obsessed and always want to talk about it with Charlie that is more than happy to be able to talk to someone who also is so in love with his dragons.

I think that is about it, if anything else pops out I will repost it and put it there. I been writing this for the past three days and to be honest, I think I can add more. Like who would their relationship change with the other characters, because I tell you, there is change. Like Percy and the twins's relationship. The daughter mother dynamics. The Me Crouch Sr situation, (Olivia almost broke up with her because of that and Percy discovered that she also likes men, she definately had a crush on her boss and Olivia didn't like it, she is a jealous girl)

But idk, how would you think they would be? I want to hear more about it. Idk. I really like Fem Percy a lot, being mtf or cis, I don't care, I just like it a lot.

And maybe she could be mtf, that would make sense why Molly continued to have children after her. And maybe she transitioned before going to Hogwarts so almost no one remembers that she was originally born as a boy but idk. I would talk about in another post, this is already too long.

Also, I made a bit of fanart. It's crappy but I like it.

I mess up the colors but it's okay also

Flustered Oliver

They were in the same page if you didn't notice.

[lya-dustin]

Seasons of my love

Bridgeton!Au! Loosely based on S.2 of Bridgeton where the Male!Reader is Anthony and Aemond is Kate Sharma basically.

It was supposed to be heterosexual, but that felt too basic, so have some gays in love this Sunday instead.

Gif by @gameofthronesdaily

Taglist: @gettheetoanunneryimmediatly

It was heard from the Lonely Light to Asshai by the Shadow that if a man wants to court the princess, he must win her brothers’ favor first. So far, no one has been able to secure Prince Aemond’s blessing.

After Helaena and Aegon petitioned their father to stop Ser Otto and the Queen to force them into marriage, court had been filled to the brim with eligible bachelors.

All simpering fools who have the ambition to rival that of his grandsire and none of the personality nor good nature of Laenor, the last man to marry a princess.

Laenor ---despite his degeneracy--- had been knighted in battle, able to charm birds off trees and, most importantly, a dragonrider.

Laenor had also not given a rat’s arse about what his wife did behind closed doors ---or in the stables as Aemond and Aegon discovered a lifetime ago.

This last part is of paramount importance due to what Aemond knows about his beloved sister.

Sweet Helaena should have been named Rhaena, he thinks as he tries to stop mother from hearing his sister calling Lady Elisa Piper her darling wife.

Helaena did not care if her husband loved her or lived that long and often could not discern between friend or foe, so it fell on Aemond to be the shield who protects her from the rakes and Androw Farmans in the lists.

Being her favorite brother and the only one who cares about her wellbeing, was not an easy job, but only he could do it.

Aegon just wanted her married so their dear mama could stop trying to annul his marriage to Cassandra Baratheon.

Daeron was too young and believed the choice should fall on whoever Helaena liked.

Only Rhaenyra backed this scheme of his, horribly enough.

The Princess of Dragonstone is known for having a good eye for men, Ser Criston had grumbled bitterly ---not that Aemond cared to ask for context about his acrimonious feelings towards his elder sister.

She and Daemon would host the suitors in Dragonstone ---she was in confinement due to the imminent birth of her sixth child--- and send him the list of those whose characters they considered good enough for Helaena along with more profuse apologies from her brood of Strong Boys.

The one-eyed prince found himself forgiving Lucerys after the forty-ninth letter written about his guilt and wished to offer his own eye in recompense.

“Perhaps, number nine and forty will win your approval.” Helaena had said as they met this man whom their sister gave a glowing recommendation.

He dressed well, was a knight and a lord.

Lord (Y/N) (L/N) was also handsome, charming and not a piece of dragonshit, or so Daemon had assured him in his letter.

Perfect for my sweet Helaena, Rhaenyra had added in hers.

“You said the same thing about numbers one to eight and forty, mandia.” Aemond said as he eyed you like a horse being brought forth by the horse coursers yesterday.

As usual, the suitor takes great consideration in wooing his sister and trying to establish a sense of friendship with Aemond.

Unlike the rest, however, you take in consideration his likes and dislikes instead of assuming he is into whatever Aegon or the other rakes are into.

You are well-read, amiable, religious but not a zealot and, most importantly, you get along with Helaena like a house on fire.

“They are perfect for each other, don’t you agree?” mother tried her best to get Aemond to like you.

Too perfect.

And while he has become fond of you, dangerously fond of you, Aemond knows he is setting himself, no, his sister for a sure disappointment.

So one night Aemond decides it is time for Aegon’s test.

A test that consists on getting you drunk, asking questions and leave you in a brothel while both brothers come to a verdict.

You don’t drink much, but eventually you are drunk enough to sing a rather scandalous version of Seasons of My Love with him.

One where instead of a maid it is boy.

Aemond finds himself drunk enough to kiss you.

A mistake the both of you blame on the wine.

After all, Aemond is a prince and you are courting his sister.

“I apologize for my behavior, my lord, it won’t happen again.” He had said pretending it was just that. “But I see no reason to deny you my blessings to marry my sister.”

The kiss mean nothing, the prince tells himself even after finding out from Helaena that you prefer men over women and finds her as beautiful as her brother.

It means nothing, Aemond repeats even after he begins to remember how sweet it was.

He claims he feels nothing for you except friendship and yet the wedding day comes and Aemond feels pained enough to try and numb it with wine.

He should not have these feelings for you, he can’t, it goes against nature and the gods of his mother.

But he wants you, wants you in a way he has not wanted a woman or man before.

Aemond makes a toast and cannot keep his eyes away from yours, thinking it unfair that all the qualities he loves about you are on you, a man.

Not just any man, the man married to his favorite sister.

A man he has to pretend is merely a friend for the rest of their lives because the moment Queen Alicent finds out, they are dead.

Later that night, you find him absent-mindedly strumming a lute.

It’s your wedding night, and yet the ones enjoying the bridal chamber are Helaena and her Elissa going by the looks of it.

“Do you take any requests, your highness?” you ask coming to sit beside him.

A dangerous proximity, one where he cannot trust himself to run should his desires and feelings for you get the best of him again.

“Only if its you.” The prince said trying to keep his cool.

“Rather enjoyed that Myrish song the other night. I had hopes to ask for an encore.” You say, hiding your meaning well enough.

“Hmm, what would your bride say?” Aemond knew Helaena had given him the freedom to do as he pleases, but Aemond needs to hear you say it.

“She sees no reason to deny me her blessings to pursue you.” You answer and take advantage of his surprise to return the kiss.

This time it isn’t called a mistake nor blamed on the wine.

This time Aemond dares to do more than just kiss you.

[sappy-detective]

i was talking with a friend about my saiouma with kids HCs/AU and they really liked it so..

(this is an AU where ouma is a kindergarten teacher. let’s make the kids kenji (M 7) and mei ( F 3))

- kenji was originally one of oumas students. he was a troubled kid and would get into fights with other kids a lot. ouma spent a lot of time with him because he saw a lot of himself in kenji. and kenji came from a troubled home

- saihara and ouma where already approved to be foster parents because they took care of some of dice before

- he and shuichi talked it out and decided to take in kenji and his sister as they figured everything out with CPS and everything. and they ended up adopting them both

- ouma is very family oriented and worries about them a lot and he’s emotional about them. he used to take care of DICE when his parents wouldn’t and so it just kicked in

- shuichi is kinda chill but also very nervous about doing something wrong.

NOW HC TIME!!

- on their high school reunion when they asked “who has the most kids?” ouma raised his hand and said “we have 27!” and shuichi corrected him “no we don’t, oumas a teacher. we only have two”

- oumas like“sorry i can’t tonight i have to tuck my kids in and read them bedtime stories” and they’re 13 and 17

- don’t get me wrong ouma is still a menace to society but he changes when infront of kids

- mei is kinda spoiled and sneaky but she’s a great person. she’s EXACTLY like ouma and shuichi teases ouma when he scolds her for doing something he probably did when he was younger

- kenji is autistic and he’s very apathetic and has trouble showing emotion

- he still gets into fights here and there and depending the reason ouma will buy him ice cream or take him out in public and do something embarrassing. maybe picking him up from school in a clown costume or something (if he did tho kenji would start walking home like he didn’t know/see ouma)

- ouma is the kinda dad to yell out the car window as kenji and mei walk into school. kenji is always embarrassed and mei is never embarrassed, especially when it comes to ouma. shuichi laughs but also tries to drive away to save him some embarrassment

- despite that, kenji is definitely more drawn to ouma and mei is very clingy to shuichi

- miu isn’t allowed near the kids without adult supervision (jokes)

- they call kaito, miu, kaede, maki and taro their aunt/uncle

- kaede is one of the only people they can both mutually agree on being okay with babysitting them or taking them out picked them up

- kenji is gay and madly in love with mius son. (oumas petty about it, and her son is exactly like her)

- whenever mei catch them kissing/ dancing/ anything PDA she goes “EWWWWW!!!”

[ozimagines]

Hello, this was very much inspired by your Holly and Fiona drabble: would you consider doing a "dating would include" between Fiona and Beecher? I think that Fiona would make for a fun step-mom for Holly! Maybe Beecher and Fiona end up as cell mates after Chris dies or its an AU where Chris is less murderous and more accepting of Beecher's choices? Thank you and I hope that you are feeling better!

And the Fiona love continues absofuckinglutely I’ll write this piece!!!Honestly the chances are better that Beecher would marry Fiona in real life than it is for Keller to be less murderous 😂 So he’s dead in this. But yeah this ask made me so happy. Plus I wrote Fiona St. James (the actor that plays Fiona) on TikTok and told him your idea and he said it sounded awesome! So it’s actually had the rare honor of being actor approved! Thank you so very much for this ask!❤️❤️

Tobias Beecher dating Fiona Zonioni would include… part 1/?

He made parole. Felt like a damn dream again. Only Keller wasn’t there to wake him up. He was found innocent of killing Keller, but he didn’t feel innocent. He knew their love was till death do us part, but it never felt so real until it was.

He was signing for his belongings. A watch. A picture of his family, now half gone, his wallet.

“Didn’t feel real until now, huh?”

Beecher’s eyes flitted to Fiona. She was also signing for her belongings. Lipstick and a compact. A string of pearls and a hand fan. It had her initials on it Fiona J. Zonioni.

“Yeah. Just been wanting it for so many years and now it feels different.

“Because he’s not here?”

Beecher agreed, looking away to stop from shedding a tear.

“Your journey to who you are is an inspirational one, Beecher. Prag to stag. Geek to chic. It’s a classic.” She signed and started loading her belongings into a frilly pink purse. “I’ve enjoyed watching you succeed.”

“Thanks, Fiona.” He grabbed his items and put them in his suit pockets.

They walked each other to the door.

“What’re your plans?”

Fiona sighed and shrugged.

“Try to get back in the drag game. If I’m not too old, anyway. Father’s gone now and mother won’t speak to me. Hurts.”

“Sorry to hear about your father’s passing.”

“Don’t be, I stabbed the bastard.”

Beecher furrowed a brow and Fiona explained. Her dad always beat on her mom. Never laid a hand on her or her sister, but made her mom pay for it.

“One night, it was worse than usual. I told him to stop and he didn’t. So I did what I had to for her. And now…” she looked away. “I’m not sorry. I’m sorry it had to be that way but I’m not sorry I did it.”

“Can’t relate. I’ll hate myself for Cathy Rockwell forever.”

“And Schillinger?”

“I didn’t mean-“

“And Metzger?” She asked slyly.

“Didn’t know you knew about that.”

“The gays were a gang for a reason, Beecher, only we didn’t deal in drugs, we dealt in secrets. We kept yours for years.”

Beecher thanked her, though he wasn’t sure why. She smiled and patted his shoulder.

“You’re gonna be alright, Beecher.”

They stood at the gates together and Fiona chucked.

“Adam and Eve. The first man and woman in Eden.” She said, and left it at that. Their respective rides were waiting for them.

Beecher went to shake Fiona’s hand but she tutted and brought him into a tight hug.

“Remember who you are, Beecher. Always.”

“You, um… you can call me Tobias.”

“Are you a Theo or a Toby?”

“I’m a Toby.”

“How sweet. I’m a Fifi when I’m in a good mood.” She started to leave when Beecher stopped her and scribbled something on one of his sign out papers.

“It’s my number and address. Come over sometime, I’ll have you for dinner.”

“I’d like that Bee- I mean, Toby.” Fiona blushed which is something people rarely saw her do and said her goodbyes, rushing to the car with another girl looking just like her. Beecher assumed it was her sister.

Beecher got home that day; no one told Holly he was paroled. His mom just held a dinner for her and he walked in. Everyone cried. It was an emotional day.

That night, as he settled into his own bed, alone, his phone buzzed.

Night, Toby 🫶👑

He smiled.

Goodnight, Fiona. :)

He had her over for dinner a couple weekends later. He told Holly a friend was coming over. A friend she didn’t know.

“This person is someone I knew… in Oz.”

Holly couldn’t care less, her dad was home, that’s what she wanted.

“Is it going to be that guy you dated?”

“How do you know-“

“Gramma and Grandpa were talking. Said he might be the reason I was kidnapped. I know he wasn’t. You wouldn’t let that happen.”

Beecher was in constant awe of his daughter’s perception.

“No, it’s… she’s…”

“She?”

Beecher sat Holly down to explain some things to her. He said some princes want princesses, but some want other princes.

“I know what gay means, Dad.”

“Oh well… some princes like to dress like princesses. But they still like to be called prince. Some like to dress like a princess and like to be called-“

“She’s trans. You could just say that.”

Wow. Gen Z was really something else.

Holly helped him make dinner. She insisted on making pasta. Beecher asked several times why.

“Women like pasta. It’s romantic.” She shrugged and Beecher laughed and said okay.

There was a knock on the door. Beecher nervously went to answer. Fiona was the only person out of Oz that he invited over. He hoped it wasn’t a mistake. He opened the door to see Fiona.

She was wearing a sparkly red gown, hair done up curly, eyes a smoky purple color. Beecher was blown away by how good she looked when left to her own devices.

“I overdressed, didn’t I?”

Beecher smiled large and shook his head.

“You look FANTASTIC Fiona.” He helped her in and took her black coat.

“Aren’t you the gentleman?” She teased, but accepted the gesture proudly. She flashed something in a Tupperware container.

“I made cannoli. I hope you like it because I spent like fifteen hours on them and trashed my kitchen.”

Beecher smile and assured her that they would love them. Holly peeked out from the kitchen. Her eyes went wide and Beecher was afraid she was going to say something insensitive.

“Whoa! You look just like Jessica Rabbit!” She cheered excitedly and Fiona popped out her fan and dramatically hid her face.

“Child, you spoil me. She’s just who I was going for!” She grandly extended one of her gloved hands to the kid. Holly took it and kissed the top like she’d seen people in old movies do. Fiona was delighted and make a squeaking sound.

She pretended to be receiving her fans and extended her hand a few more times until she came to Beecher, who took the hand and mimicked Holly, kissing the top but letting his lips linger for a second.

“Chanel #5?”

Fiona put a hand over her mouth.

“And you know your perfumes?” She leaned down to Holly, as if explaining a secret. “He’s not going to be single for long. You have to be his bouncer. Make sure they’re good enough for him.”

Holly fake saluted and both Fiona and Toby laughed. He guided her to the dining room, which was made up quaintly.

Toby pulled out a chair for her and she sat down gracefully, which Beecher wasn’t sure was possible being how she was poured into that dress.

Holly pulled out her dad’s chair, and he sat down with a smile.

She left to go get their food.

“The royal treatment. I’m impressed, Beecher, most kids I meet are selfish assholes. Miss Holly’s already more of a gentleman than some of my lovers.”

Beecher accepted the compliment in the spirit in which it was given. Holly served their pasta, and Fiona clapped excitedly.

“Oh, good. I love pasta!”

Holly gave her dad and ‘I told you so’ look and sat down.

They chatted, sharing things about each other they never knew out of Oz.

“Dad can do a Rubik’s cube in like a minute!”

“Really? That’s quite impressive. Can he do this?” She turned her head and touched her nose with her tongue and turned around. Holly laughed and Beecher just stared. He realized in seven years, he never really knew how funny and charming Fiona could be.

“Tell me about yourself,” he said suddenly, and realized, how it sounded. “If you want to, I mean.”

Fiona thought for a second.

“I ever tell you I’m Chucky Pancamo’s cousin?”

Beecher choked on his drink and Fiona smiled.

“Well, I am. Distantly. We went to family reunions together. Never talked much but we knew each other. Took care of me in prison though.”

“Never realized you all talked.”

“We didn’t. But there was one guy before you got there, Derek Vaughn. Mean, nasty man. Always gave me trouble.” She shrugged with a smirk. “Until he didn’t.”

“Wow.” Was all Beecher could think to say. He told her he was starting to realize he didn’t know Oz at all.

“Oz was different for me than for you, Beecher. It’s… always different for people like me.”

She turned away to avoid from being seen as weak, biting her knuckles for a second. Holly kicked Beecher under the table and gestured toward her. Beecher put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“We’re out, Fiona. And we’re gonna stay out.”

“Not for nothing, Beecher, but our definitions of the outside world are also different.”

“I can admit that. But, Fiona, you’re you. Just always yourself. I envied you for years for that. You’re yourself even when it’s hard. It’s an admirable trait.”

Fiona smiled.

“Takes practice.” She tasted the pasta and remarked on how good it was. Beecher gave Holly all the credit. She beamed proudly as she explained it was a recipe she learned on TikTok.

They had Fiona’s cannoli with dessert. Holly had never tried one before and was blown away by how good they were.

It came to her bedtime, and Beecher hugged Holly tight.

“Goodnight, Holly Jolly.” He kissed her head and tousled her hair. Holly looked to Fiona.

“Goodnight, Miss Zamboni.”

Fiona snorted at the butchering of her last name but she thanked the girl all the same.

“Goodnight, Miss Holly.”

Beecher turned to Fiona and asked if she wanted a nightcap, and at her scandalous expression, clarified he meant a cookie and some milk.

“Why do we have figures if not to build on. Yes, Toby, I’ll take a cookie.”❤️

Toby asked what kind she’d like and she said “surprise me, darling.”

He decided on the cookie; his most complex one. Dark chocolate and sea salt with dried strawberries. He even warmed the milk up for her.

“Realize I should have asked what kind of milk you want. Holly drinks hazelnut and coconut milk. When I was a kid and someone said milk, they just meant milk.”

Fiona giggled at his boomerism, and took the tiny plate, staring gratefully at the pristine cookie. She took a piece off with her fingers and dipped it in the milk.

“Mmm dark chocolate strawberry? And sea salt? Is that what you think of me?”

Beecher told her he didn’t understand and she explained with a glee in her voice that Audrey Hepburn said you can always tell what a man thinks of you by the kind of gifts he buys you.

“Or in this case, cookie flavor. I want to know if you chose randomly.”

“No. It’s my most complex flavor. It’s salty and sweet and bitter and fruity. It’s so many things in one.” He said, trying to justify his choice, unknowingly flattering Fiona more than she had ever been.

“What’s yours?”

“Guess.”

“Chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin.”

“Why oatmeal raisin?”

“It’s not for everyone but it’s yours and you own it. Plus it’s unreasonably sweet.”

He smiled and defeatedly showed her his oatmeal raisin cookie. 🍪 Fiona did a little victory dance that got them thinking of Busmalis.

In fact they thought about a lot of their prisoner friends and foes alike, all discussing where they ended up and what they deserved.

“Robson has aids.” Fiona informed and Beecher lamented that he didn’t feel sorrier.

They got closer and closer on the couch, laughing at some of their old prison stories. After a particularly good laugh about Jewel Schillinger becoming devoutly Jewish, Beecher found he hand his hand steadying himself on Fiona’s thigh.

He apologized one he realized.

“You’re fine, Tobias.” She waved it off but relished the burn of warmth where his hand was.

“You’re so much different than I thought. And I thought I knew you after seven years.”

“I’m complex. Like the cookie you selected.”

“Yeah.”

He asked if she would come over again and she said she wouldn’t miss it.

He walked her to the door and helped her with her coat. She let, giving him a hug, and he found himself kissing her on the cheek.

“I’m so sorry Fiona, I don’t know what came over me.”

“You missed.”

He asked what and she merely grinned and slowly placed her lips on his. It lasted only a second, but the warmth of her lips burned him inside.

“Goodnight, Tobias.” She pinched his cheek, caressed his face, and left.

Gentleman though he was… he did enjoy watching her walk away. 😶‍🌫️

He talked to Fiona every day. Always texted or called or visited in some capacity. Steadied him to talk to someone who knew his experiences. He found he very much enjoyed getting to know her.

One night, she invited him to one of her shows. He couldn’t believe the artistry involved, even if the lewdness of her act made him blush.

She’d come out dressed as Marlene Dietrich. A variation of the suit she wore in Morocco. Fiona was smoking in a sparkly, woman cut suit and it turned Beecher on more than anything.

She worked the crowd. Was good at what she did. Smiling and waving and blowing smoke in everyone’s face.

When she came to Beecher’s table, she smirked and leaned down, kissing him on the lips, hiding herself with her hat. It was something out of a dream.

Beecher waited until the end to give Fiona the flowers he brought. Hyacinths.🪻🪻🪻Pink and purple.

He knocked on the dressing room and entered at her request.

His smile disappeared when he saw she had a man in there. A handsome, shirtless man. Fiona pushed him off her when Beecher entered.

He was crushed and didn’t understand why.

“These are for you.” He said lamely, and she accepted them graciously.

“Thanks for coming, Toby.”

“Always, Fiona.”

Beecher was hurt that Fiona had a lover. He wasn’t sure why he was. They certainly weren’t romantic. Flirty, sure, but Fiona was flirty with everyone. Maybe that’s all it was?

At dinner that Friday night, Beecher broached the subject.

“Who was… I mean… the guy in your dressing room?”

“Damien? Oh, you know, e pluribus unum.” She said with a wink, and Beecher flinched. Fiona noticed.

“Any reason you’re asking?”

“…just curious.” Toby said, continuing to eat his meatloaf. Fiona dropped the subject till after dinner.

“Were you hoping to meet Damien? Because while he’s entertaining in other ways, I hardly think he’s the type for scrabble night.”

They did words with friends on their phones together. Fiona won every time. Like… every time.

“No. Sorry if I made it awkward by asking.” He took a bite from his cookie and muttered something. Fiona asked him to repeat.

“Maybe this time don’t battle a mouthful of cookie.” She teased.

“It’s just… you’re so wonderful, Fiona. I’d hate to think of you entertaining people who don’t deserve you.”

He’d expected Fiona to thank him and tell him she can watch out for herself. Fiona did not react this way. She got angry. Quiet angry.

“Thank you for your concern, Mr. Beecher. That said, it hardly seems like your business.” She sniffed and left it at that, but Beecher kept pushing.

“Does it make you happy? The dressing rooms and random men-“

“Beecher, enough.” She stood up, gathering her things.

“Fiona I didn’t mean-“

“I thought you were different, Toby. Don’t think I don’t know what I am to you and everyone else. I’m a back up. Someone to flirt with just enough to keep them around but when it’s time for romance it’s always someone else. You’re just that way. Just mad that your second place has other options.” She opened the door, careful not to wake Holly.

“Fiona, please don’t go. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that. You’re not my back up-“

“You’re right. I’m not your anything.” She sniffed as a tear rolled down her face. “I’ll never be Keller.”

She left and Toby stayed up that night and cried for the first time in a while.

Holly saw him despondent the next morning. He was making her breakfast but with none of his usual talking.

“When’s Miss Fiona coming over again?”

“…probably not for a while, pumpkin.”

“What’d you do?”

He chucked darkly and figured he had nothing to lose. He told her that he’d kissed Fiona. That he’d really fallen for her. That he saw her with another guy and got jealous.

“Do you want to date her?”

“I think so.”

“You have to make a grand gesture. Like in the old movies. Something big and romantic to let her know you’re not just interested when someone else is.”

He thanked his daughter for having the brain cells he didn’t.

Fiona was with her friends, telling them about Beecher while she was getting ready.

“Men are pigs.” She stared flatly. “Thought this one was different. But we kissed a month ago and nothing until he sees stupid Damien in my room. Damien! Of all people! The kid with fewer brain cells than my left tit! That’s who Beecher’s jealous over.”

She was narrating to no one at this point but it didn’t matter. She fixed her mascara, trying not to cry again. She’d wasted enough time on that jerk.

Suddenly, music played over the loud speaker. It was coming from the stage. Singing, but not the usual boisterous melodies. Something sad and soft. Took Fiona a second to recognize the song.

“I got it bad… and that ain’t good.”

She sprung to her feet, grabbed a robe, and made her way to the stage with the other drag queens.

Beecher was there, in his father’s old suit, red rose in the lapel, singing softly into the microphone. She stopped at stage left, just watching him. He turned to her, and changed the song.

“Dream lover, where are you, with a love, oh, so true. And the hand that I can hold to feel you near as I grow old?”

She smiled softly. Dream lover.

“Because I want. A girl. To call. My own. I want a dream lover… so I don’t have to dream alone.”

The other guys cheered him on when he finished, and he would have thanked them, if his eyes had left Fiona even for a second.

She stepped forward, arms crossed. She pretended to still be angry.

“Causing a scene at my work?”

“Needed to see you. You haven’t played your word in days.”

She shrugged and went to turn away, when Beecher stopped her and touched her face gently, forcing her to look in his eyes.

“I love you, Fiona. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough. You’re more than enough. Too much. Much much too much. But I’m greedy, and I want it all. You’re not my backup. You’re not second place. And you’re right, you’re not Keller. But I’m glad. Because I’m not the same Beecher either. I love the way you are around Holly. I love the way you make pasta arrabbiata, and I love that you sing to yourself in Italian while you do it. I love that you laugh at my jokes, even the ones that aren’t funny. I love that you’re so strong. That nothing ever stops you from being yourself. I love-“

“You done?” She asked, deadpanned. He nodded and turned to leave. She stopped him with an arm on his waist. “Because I’d like to start. I love the way you are with Holly too. I love that you call cookies a nightcap and that you make terrible, terrible dad jokes all the time. I love that you love salad and to you a salad isn’t just lettuce and dressing. I love you too, Toby.”

She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips, but he took full advantage and dipped her in his arms, absorbing her muffled squeak as he did so.

He waited for her to finish rehearsal and they left together, holding hands the whole way to his house.

“Don’t you have to explain this to Holly?”

“The suit was actually her idea.” He admitted sheepishly.

“Smart girl. Though if she were really smart, she’d have told you to pick up something chocolate and something shiny too.”

Tobias smirked triumphantly

“Check under your seat.”

Fiona pulled out a box of chocolates and a jewelry box with a shiny silver bracelet in there.

“I was looking for a necklace but Holly insisted girls like bracelets.”

They giggled the whole way home.

“Oh, Tobias, you missed my turn.”

“I was actually hoping you’d spend the night.”🔥

“Oh… I… OH.” Fiona understood what that entailed.

“Not that I’m not tickled pink by the proposal, honey, really I am. But… I look a little different without all my effects. You do know that right?”

Beecher pulled into his driveway and sat with her for a second.

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”😔

“Fiona, right now, you look like a million bucks. I’m gonna take you upstairs and make up for seven years of not ravishing you. And in the morning, when I see you without your makeup, and jewelry, and fancy dresses, I’m gonna kiss you and make you coffee and bring it to you in bed. That’s what’s gonna happen.”

Fiona, for the first time in her life, was speechless. 😶

“I…”

“I’ll also take you back to yours if you want. Your choice.”

She thought for a moment and in a flash, leaned over to him and kissed him passionately.

“Mmmm lets see what you got, Daddy.”

They exited the car, but before the entered the house, Beecher stopped her.

“I want this to be perfect.” He picked her up and carried her through the threshold. He carried her all the way to his room, laid her down in the bed, and started necking her.

He turned her over, placing his body weight on her and kissing her neck.

She was releasing soft “oh”s with each breath.

Fiona had been fucked many a time before but she would be hard pressed to tell you when the last time someone made love to her was.

That’s what this was. Each silent, squeaky thrust.

“Sorry if I don’t get hard. I’m back on estrogen.”

Toby chucked and husked in her ear.

“Did you honestly feel like you have to apologize for anything? Because you don’t.”🥵

They slept together that night in every sense of the term.

When they awoke the next morning, checked was spooning her, face in her neck. He took a deep breath of her natural scent.

She stirred. Tobias stared at her face for a long time. The masculine jaw and the womanly cheekbones. The soft eyes and the pursed lips. Her tanned skin and curvy body. She felt him staring and woke up.

“Hey.” she greeted him with a lower voice than usual. Beecher smirked. “Still like what you see?”

“Somehow, and impossibly, more than before.”❤️

He kept his promise, kissed her on the lips and went downstairs to make her coffee.

Holly saw him holding two coffee cups and smirked.

“I’m the greatest wingman ever. Where would you be without me?” She boasted to her dad’s blushing face.

She helped him make the coffee. Beecher was just going to bring it black with some creamer and sugar on the side.

“Don’t you know anything, Dad? She’s cool. Too cool for regular coffee. Make her a Frappuccino.”

Beecher couldn’t even pronounce the words she was saying so she signed and took over, sliding the blender past her dad.

Beecher carried his regular coffee and Fiona’s concoction.

Holly insisted on copious whipped cream.

“Can I come give it to her, Daddy? Please?”

Beecher told her sure but they had to make sure she was dressed first. Holly winked at him and he grimaced.

They knocked on the door.

“Honey? Are you decent? Holly wanted to say good morning.”

She told them she was and they wanted. She was sitting there in Beecher’s robe. It was everything I bush power not to take her for round two right then and there.

“Hi, Miss Fiona! I made you a hazelnut Frappuccino!” Holly gave it to her and then gave her a big hug.

“Take it easy on my dad.” She whispered in Fiona’s ear. “He doesn’t always say the right things, but he tries.”

Fiona nodded, and held Holly’s face in her hand, kissing her forehead softly.

“Thank you, child.”🫶

Fiona went to say something then turned her head. Holly and Toby shared a look. She was crying.

The both rushed to her sides.

“I’m sorry, Miss Fiona. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Holly said quietly. Fiona tutted and brushed away her tears to comfort Holly.

“You didn’t, my sweet thing. And he didn’t. These are good tears. Happy tears.” She sniffled. “Despite my face right now, I really am happy.”

“Is my dad your boyfriend now?”

Fiona giggled through the tears and stopped Beecher when he went to tell Holly that was an inappropriate question.

“I hope so.” She touched Beecher’s hair and stroked his face. “I could do much, much worse than Tobias Beecher.”❤️🫶

[decks-writing-blog]

Here to Stay Drabbles: Actually My Nephew

Summary: Did Gordon tell the team about Joshua? How is his relationship with his parents?

~

“Hey, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, cutting into the lull in conversation left by the waiter leaving upon finishing noting down their order. “Didn’t you say once that you have a kid? … Or um, had a kid, I guess. Lot of people died during the incident. So maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up but I saw those kids over there,” he gestured to the family of four, including two children, a seated a few booths down and across from them, “and suddenly remembered that you told us about that. Sorry if I um… messed up bringing it up or whatever.”

Gordon took a breath to assure him it was fine but Bubby, sitting directly across from him, cut in first. “Wait, fuck, I forgot about that. You’ve been grieving a kid all this time? No wonder you’re so fucked up. Now I feel kinda bad for being an ass.”

Dr. Coomer sat next to Bubby, placing him next to Tommy and directly across from Benrey. “Sorry for your loss, Gordon. If you’d like, we could hold a memorial service for your dear son, lost in battle.”

“Nah, guys, I appreciate the thought but it’s fine. I never had a son. I was lying about that.”

Bubby frowned. “I take back what I said then, I don’t feel bad. … Okay, maybe I feel a little bad about the hand thing but we’re over that. Why’d you lie about having a kid? Real weird thing to lie about.”

Benrey, looking up from his Game Boy, answered for him. “He didn’t want us to know he was lonely and had no friends and stuff.”

Gordon sighed. “Yeah, what he said.” There was no use denying it. “But Joshua, the kid I said was my son, is actually my nephew. So it’s not like I found a picture of some random kid and claimed they were mine or whatever. Which means it’s not nearly as weird as it could’ve been. It is kinda weird though because I never met or talked to him in anyway but I put a picture of him in my locker anyway and then claimed he was my son. But because I’m never going to meet him or talk to my sister again, it’s fine. And that picture was from like five years ago so he doesn’t even really look like that anymore. And also, more importantly, I’m not doing that lie anymore. It was pathetic and weird or whatever but it’s done now. So could we all pretend it never happened and move on?”

Of course, things were never so easy with the Science Team. Asking them to drop something was like asking a cat to do the same; sometimes they did and sometimes they didn’t give a damn. It was Tommy who got is two cents in first.

“But Mr. Freeman, how come you’ve never seen your nephew? I guess maybe they live far away but what about on holidays? I mean we get a whole three weeks off work for Christmas and New Year’s. Even if you don’t celebrate, why wouldn’t you go visit? I know if I had a nephew, I’d go visit him on holidays.”

Another thing Gordon didn’t want to talk about in a place they might be overheard. They’d purposefully chosen a time that it would be the less busy, meaning the chances of someone accidentally hearing something were higher since there was less noise to drown out individual voices. But these guys knew some of it already anyway. “Look, my family doesn’t approve of me, if you know what I mean. My sister isn’t as mad about it as our parents are but she thinks it’s just a phase that I’ll eventually get bored of. Meeting my nephew isn’t worth the hassle of dealing with all that.”

“Why don’t they approve of you?” Benrey asked, apparently interested enough in the conversation now to lower the Game Boy entirely. “Do they not like scientists?”

“That’s basically the only thing about me they do like.”

“It’s ‘cause he’s gay,” Bubby said. “Some idiots like to be weird about that kind of stuff.”

“First off, not gay, I’m bi. Second, that’s part of it but mostly it’s the whole being a guy thing they don’t like.”

“They uh… don’t approve of you being a guy?” In hindsight it made sense that Benrey didn’t get it. Gordon shouldn’t be surprised even if they have been living together for several months now. He wasn’t human thus the topic of gender probably wasn’t personally relevant to him to begin with. And after going through his files it was clear he didn’t have education on such matters and probably hadn’t been exposed to them much either.

Gordon would explain when they got home. Before he could say so though, Tommy chimed in instead. “Wait, that’s how you’re coming out to us? I mean… I guess it’s fine. You tell us you’re trans however is most comfortable for you, Mr. Freeman. It’s just kinda a weird way to do it. But I guess we did kinda coax out of you by asking about your family and stuff. Sorry.”

“Wait, I thought you guys knew that about me?” If Gordon had known they didn’t, he’d have indeed told them in a different way, namely not having his estranged family be an important part of the discussion. Not that they even really needed to know but they were his friends and Benrey was his partner so he wanted them to and had assumed they did.

“No, Gordon, we had no idea,” Dr. Coomer replied. “Congratulations on your transition.”

“Thanks but… we had a whole open and blatant conversation about my packer partially falling out of my pants. How did you guys not pick up on that?” Gordon had just been assuming everyone was cool with it. Which they seemed to be so that was nice but they hadn’t picked up on what seemed obvious to him. In hindsight, it wasn’t quite as obvious as it could’ve been, but still, the thought should’ve at least occurred to them, right?

“None of us were paying that much attention to anything Benrey said at that point,” Bubby said as he adjusted his glasses. “Because let’s be honest, he was kinda just saying stuff. Also, he called it your dick so I assumed, if it did happen at all, it probably was your dick. Which would mean that you had one and most people who have dicks are born with them.”

“Damn, all right, sure, I guess that makes sense. But well, I guess now you guys know. I’m a trans man and that’s why my parents hate me, why I don’t talk to my sister anymore and thus why I don’t know my nephew, Joshua even though I used to lie about him being my son.” Not stuff he wanted to be super public about but whatever, who cared? No one came to the Cheesecake Factory as soon as they opened because they were normal people anyway. Heck, this was Tuefort, the town known for having a lead poisoning problem until barely more than ten years ago, so no one who lived here was normal in general.

“I still don’t get it,” Benrey said, proving for a fact that he didn’t know. Not his fault. What education he’d had had all been focused on figuring out how smart he was, not teaching him anything useful about navigating the world or about the people within it.

“Basically when I was born, the doctors and nurses decided I was a girl so that’s what they told my parents and so that’s what my family believes. But I’m not a girl, I’m a guy. My family is mad that they’re wrong and refuse to accept the truth.”

“But why would they decide you’re a girl if you’re a guy?”

“It’s sorta complicated, especially since I don’t know how much you know about human anatomy and stuff. So how ‘bout we return to this conversation more when we get home and have a computer in front of us?”

“That’s lame.”

“Yeah but I don’t really wanna go through the whole conversation right now.” He’d much rather do some informed googling and filter the results before letting Benrey do some silent reading.

“Fine, whatever.”

“Thanks.”

“Does this mean we can’t call you a bitch anymore?” Bubby asked.

“Uh… I guess if you really want to, you can. Just don’t be weird about it, obviously.” Especially since they’d been calling him that while believing him to be a cis man.

Dr. Coomer gave him a thumbs up. “You got it, my good bitch.”

[chillenby]

I woke up today and I just felt a spike of anger inside of me because I remembered my ex friend (for this story I'll just call her S). And I want everyone to hear this story

So me and S were really close in middle school like we did almost everything together. I was a bit dependant on her. Usually seeking her approval and shit like that.

So one day we were hanging out at her mom's work place (it was a small place where they printed stuff and it was the weekend so nobody was there) with our 2 other friends and we were having fun. Well after like 2 hours we started playing would you rather, you know as 4 girls do.

Well it was S's turn to ask someone something and she decided to ask me 'would you rather be friends with me for the rest of your life, but you can't draw or would you rather be able to draw, but we won't be friends?'. At that question I instantly said 'I can't choose both of it is really important to me'. At that age I wanted to become an artist and live of it and in my 12 year old mind I though Sarah would never be friends with me if I didn't have a job. Since I though art or nothing. She kept pressing me for an answer and then I finally chose art over her.

I left the hang out in 15 minutes because it was so quiet and Sarah was so quiet. And when I left I knew like physicaly knew that Sarah was shit talking be for my choice.

Then summer came and we barely hung out because I was busy with sports and travelling and when we all hung out they only talked about kpop. I tried to be involved and ask questions, but they ignored them or answered them vaguely. So I just stopped talking while we hung out.

Then at the start of the 8th grade her and my other friend gave me letters. In those letters they told me they don't want to be friends with me anymore because 'we used to be like sister and now we've changed. We have nothing to talk about'. It's fair, but of course we have nothing to talk about when all you 2 care about is kpop and how hot boys are. I mean H and I only talked about a few things and one of it was that we're gay. So yea.

I moved away from them and sat with one guy I'll call him 3 I thought was cool and smart (fun fact in 2th grade I 'married' that guy). So 3 and I became close since he was the chattiest mf alive and I wanted to listen to him even though for like the first two weeks I barelly spoke. And then I and 3 were added to a group chat with this weird girlv K and a friend I used to have beef with J. And now I'm close friends with J, 3 and I don't really talk anymore and I met another guy M who is fun (we call each other slurs, tell each other to kys and have the weirdest conversations imaginable, he's a great friend :) )

In conclusion I'm glad I chose art over S. Art truly makes me happy and if she were a true friend she would have been a much better friend in general and she would still be around. But she isn't. I hope she sees me and she realises how happier I am without her. I'm glad she blocked me in the 1st grade of high school. I hope she realises she was a bitch to me. I hope she thinks I hate her and don't have fond memories of her.

[thedragonsfate]

anyway I'm just gonna dump some fantasy High stuff here bc work got cancelled coz of the snow/ice and I'm rewatching freshman year rn

- riz/fabian qpr? VERY different story for me than romantic involvement. give me that very particular friendship give me that "this is confusing" for riz bc he knows he's not ~into~ fabian and he's terrified of fabian being into him but also he just wants needs HAS to be closer to him than his other friends and them navigating together what exactly that means. also bc I just. adore when fabian gives away that he 100% considers riz to be his best friend it's always v sweet and meaningful even when it's silly im

- sorry but I just have to believe that for a small time in freshman year fabian has a crush on adaine and that played a small part in his reaction to aelwyn being her sister

- that being said the boy is Not straight I like bi fabian I like pan fabian I like gay comphet fabian I like gay repressed fabian give me any queer fabian you've got my stamp of approval

- also bc I DO agree that fabian probably had a small crush on riz at somepoint as well that would eventually turn into a v different but still intense and loving partnership

- which is fun to think abt bc sophomore year DID fully convert me into a fabragh shipper, and ragh is very very different than both riz and adaine in terms of like. post-bully/post-being groomed/post a year of counseling w Jawbone Era ragh is so emotionally open and intelligent and vulnerable I feel like (things that riz and adaine aren't necessarily NOT, but definitely not in the public way that ragh is) and in that ragh is genuinely just not a very smart guy - which is in direct opposition to adaine and riz as the two big research bad kids yk. they really are the two who love to learn with a hunger for knowledge. they both love to KNOW things (albeit in slightly different ways) also theyre both v sarcastic and straightforward, whereas ragh is someone who I feel like reacts to situation just as straightforward but with more genuine emotion, and with a simple minded approach to the world that just screams genuineness

- I like fabian finding that the part of him drawn to that hunger for knowledge and a little bitchiness and Knowing Things can be sated in his friendships but particularly in a qpr with riz, and also finding that in terms of a romantic partner, having someone who knows the depths of toxic masculinity repressing your emotions who also actively draws vulnerability out of the people around him through exhibiting his own/ his own acceptance of those harder feelings- is someone REALLY good for fabian. and finding that being as attentive and admiring and uplifting to his partner as fabian can be is something really good for ragh considering raghs past relationships

- anyway obvs I'm not the biggest fan of fabian and aelwyn at the end of soph year but also I think it's something that wouldn't last v long anyway and I think it's maybe good for leading them both into making a pivot into more deliberate self care and discovery

- also just. care a LOT abt fig and gorgugs friendship. underrated best friends. maybe not underrated there's so much fan content I've yet to explore but yk what I mean. from the first few episodes? they are Best Friends. gorgug and fabian and ragh have a fun important jock friend dynamic and ofc gorgug has an important relationship with Zelda but I fully believe wholeheartedly that fig is gorgugs best friend. fig also has her important relationships - ayda, adaine, Kristen (or. honestly fig has a v particular friendship with every bad kid that I value SUPER highly. she cares a LOT) but gorgug was her first ride or die and there's a lot that can be shared between two people who can quietly admit just how much they CARE.

- damn now I'm thinking abt fig too much

- also fig and fabians relationship changing as gilear and hallariel get more serious and fabian accepts gilear into his family unit a bit more - fig was SO full speed ahead abt gorgug or riz being her brother to have fabian actually kind of fall into that position? amazing incredible

- fig also becoming pseudo sisters with adaine and aelwyn??? also very important???

- fig and riz kind of potentially becoming siblings????? CHAOS and also PERFECTION maybe it's just the Emily Murph chemistry but there's something so particularly FUN abt these two. and also. this connection of having been the. two at the beginning of sophomore year nabbed to fulfill that first part of getting kalina and later the abernants etc a way into the forest of the nightmare king

- I'll admit I have a harder time pinning Kristen down in my head post sophomore year. I think I need to fully explore what I think it looks like for Kristen to Fully Understand what Tracker is expressing she needs, and letting herself look outside of herself a little more. she's had so much battle within herself in terms of self acceptance and world views shattering and religious and spiritual journey that. I think she just hasn't gotten old enough yet to FULLY experience looking outside of herself. not necessarily in a selfish way but also a little bit? Kristen's not the only one struggling with this necessarily but I think she is the one who's struggling with it the MOST

- if anybody actually reads this and has any good fic recommendations exploring Kristen and tracker separately and together post sophomore year when tracker goes on her mission with ragh PLEASE hit me up

- nothing I can say abr riz will ever be as poignant as the post abt his bloody hands.

- adaine having family in a semi traditional sense??? also extremely important to me. to see her and jawbone like. doing parent kid stuff together on purpose to build memories with one another? adaine and aelwyn being awkward hovery unsure sisters as they both work on continuing recovery? adaine being a guiding influence in aelwyns life, and supporting her through a new family landscape and personal landscape and disability landscape when she is able and helping aelwyn find therapy and jawbone and other adults and peers to lean on as well to flush out that support system she never had? adaine getting to settle even further into her growing network of people who LOVE her, and say it and show it and clearly value her input. her seeing a new therapist to process how difficult it can be to accept love from a parent a figure when all you've know is rejection in the past

-there are essays I could write abt aelwyn abernant and her relationship with her sister but alas not today

- fig being this glue. I really TRULY believe that fig plays a particular role in the bad kids

- riz and Kristen continuing to be this chaos duo purely on accident despite fully believing in themselves to Not be that

- riz and gorgugs quieter friendship

- gorgug and fig talking about bisexuality

- Kristen and fabian talking abt internalized homophobia, and their own relationships with self image and selfishness amongst a genuine drive to be kind

- literally any of them and all of them talking abt their dad's. it's all so different and yet so intertwined

- Kristen and fig just being genuinely p good friends, perhaps not huge confidants for one another in a way outside of the bad kid dynamic, but someone to lean on with gf stuff, and impulsively stuff, etc

- fig and tracker becoming p good friends feels good to me. tracker and ragh becoming kind of?? fully best friends on their quest?? getting to lean into one another as someone who has embraced their sexuality in a particularly mirrored way? as people in the lives of the bad kids but also just individuals going through their own shit

- I have a lot to add abt the seven but this rambly post is already too long probably

- gorgugs friends fully appreciating him and understanding him at different levels. more of adaine being extra supportive and uplifting of him Re: his first date with Zelda.

- more of any of them teasing the others abt romantic endeavors

- honestly more adaine being invested in her friends love lives bc she just. loves her friends and wants them to be happy regardless of her own journey of finding out who she is in that arena.

- personally a big fan of sex repulsed ace adaine but I also am kind of just. particularly open to most things sexuality/attraction wise with adaine. I really TRULY love adaine taking YEARS to figure out where she thinks her attention and interest is or isn't drawn

- adaine and riz research friends / fiends

- fabian gorgug and adaine being Voices of Reason for an overworked and sleepless riz, fabian gorgug adaine and riz being voices of reason to fig and Kristen's separate shenanigans

- the list of voices of reason goes on and on ; having such a tight network of friends is genuinely such a particular gift

- slumber parties at mordrid

- the bad kids annual kidnap gilear to ditch school day

- the bad kids reoccurring shrimp parties

- fig and the sig figs concerts and tours and interviews and breaks

- ayda getting to know other members of the bad kids better. ayda hanging out with adaine bc they're best friends. ayda hanging out with fig and uplifting eachother and finding solace in one another and someone who just. sees them.

- ayda bonding with other autistic bad kids. seem some rlly good gorgug riz and Kristen autistic hcs and they're all v nice in their different ways so honestly any combination of that

- ayda and Kristen just sort of. not getting eachother?? ayda and FABIAN just sort of. not getting eachother but being kind and thoughtful just as people ans also in an effort to find friendship in someone else v important to fig

- gorgug and ayda getting along just. genuinely pretty easily cbjdsbxnksxkc

- ok I'm done for rn xbjdnzncm