#my response was ‘please’ xD
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he’s got jokes.
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gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time
#idk it's so upsetting and discouraging im really tired of it#like bro.... everyone can see what you're doing and#you doing it just communicates that you think im a fucking awful person#if im going to be fine with like someone... putting themselves down for the sake of others#or denying help because thay dont want to be an inconvenience#it just feels rude#if you don't think that i genuinely want to help you#if you think that I'm just fucking pretending or whatever then why are you even here I don't want#a friend who thinks these thoughts about me xd#like#how many times do i have to assure someone#i just feel like shit#it really just feels so shittyyyyyyy#comeonnnnn#people can SEE you people pleasing and doing all that shit#and everybody fucking hates it#it just makes me super uncomfortable and i know it also makes other ppl i know very uncomfortable also#on one hand I don't wanna mention anything to this person because trauma is trauma what the fuck am i#supposed to do about that its just a trauma response but god i have feelings too#i want that person to also consider me because it feels so awful it just taints every single interaction#because it makes me feel like they think im some awful person who's going to be fine#with them carrying all their stuff even though i offered like 5 times and them just pushing themselves aside so i have space#even though im offering to share#AURGHH#it feels so bad#i feel like this every time i spend time with this person or any other person who does this that i know enough to like#recognize the behavior#idk im just tired I can't be putting all my effort#into reassuring every single step it's just sucking all fun out of everything we do together it just feels like shit whatever
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*in the voice of one of those old ads about mesothelioma*
if you or a loved one have an adverse reaction to the words "that's his boss" you might be entitled to financial compensation
#and by financial compensation I mean the right to chuck tomatoes at paul simms#or even better a pie#note: I'm not to be held responsible if anyone throws anything at paul simms in the near future this is a joke#please for the love of god don't throw anything at paul simms#and if you for some reason do DON'T BLAME ME#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#nandermo#throwing up my thoughts onto tumblr again#yes it's been over a week and he's still living in my head rent free#GET OUT OF MY HEAD PAUL#it's almost 2 am wtf am I doing XD
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So I've read Chapter 427: "Who Was Shigaraki Tomura?"
Or as I am calling it in my head: *lights up candle* ... Is it a safe space to be a BNHA Hero and Villain fan yet?
Okay, this is gonna be a long one- Prefacing this:
I love Izuku. I really really do. And I also wanted Spinner to lash out at him. This was even more than I could've asked for- I'd have been 100% on board with Spinner's vengeful widow arc if he wanted. Jokes aside, I liked. 2/3 of the chapter, would've been fine without the Overhaul stuff. I'm switching typing "Tenko | Tomura", probably, so please bear with me.
Spinner's been called a hypocrite for calling Izuku a murderer. I don't think Izuku is one; he wanted to save Tenko, broke his mental barriers to reach out when he gave away OFA, not to destroy his body. I don't think he knew the end result until Tomura!AFO was really breaking down. He failed, and he’s drowning in guilt (eyebags, repression, war veteran look, letting Spinner take it out on him).
In Spinner's defense: he's faced discrimination from society. His first friends were the LoV. Outcasts like him, no one would've been surprised if Spinner killed someone, sad as it is. Stain spared Izuku as a worthy hero, yet he fought Tomura, and no corpse was left. The flawed logic of Ch. 19: Heroes and Villains commit violence, but a hero was seen killing a person, and is praised for it. Who cares "Midoriya Izuku killed a person"? Hero Deku defeated a villain. Of course he'll be a "hypocrite" and say that.
Late add-on: It can feel worse because even Spinner fell into the bystander mentality; even he knew he could've helped Tomura before the final battle but didn't, and is dwelling on "what if a hero rescued him then?" Izuku technically is the only person to extend a hand, even if the results were. Well. Izuku tried and still was not enough. It's a gut punch on both.
Izuku saying he won't deny the murder comment, though? Cheers, I want him to have a mental breakdown. (I mean, he didn't have to talk to Spinner personally. I think it's both him wanting to honor Tenko and being driven by guilt).
People calling Tomura a monster is justified, even if it sucks. Tenko never had a choice in believing he was anything other than that and It's 100% AFO's fault. But in the end, Tomura still made the kill, unfair as it is. Not humanizing him, however, is a mistake; he should be humanized. Anyone could've ended up the way he did. Spinner is just on the extreme of sympathizing way too much to acknowledge how much suffering he brought. Society isn't better, they've regressed into Pre-AM paranoia.
Pikahlua (here and here) and Kikibats (Twitter, here) said Ch. 322 scene was paralleled, and I'm kinda relieved— I thought I was brainrotting the parallels. So I'm just repeating them rn:
Scarred right side, the "regretful murderer" facing a grieving Spinner vs. the intact left side, the "child soldier young hero" bearing too much, listening as an apology for Spinner? From stranger danger to a connection no one else has. And then they stop facing each other when Spinner breaks down from how much Tomura meant to him as his first friend, hero and hope, something Izuku only saw a glimpse of!? (likely foreshadowing Izuku's own emotions yet to burst) Damn that was good. (I hate the scar but that was a good use I gotta admit)
(Parallels of fanboys with identity issues following someone like them, seeing them as their heroes, and when they died, lost control of themselves and their Quirks and now they're lost as to what to do next?! Being a Spinneraki shipper paid off in a way I didn't expect but should've.)
(Also every duo that has "My Hero/Hope/Light" is romantically canon I do not make the rules take it up with Horikoshi- /j)
Izuku's repressing for taking Spinner's grief and letting him manhandle him (really, just Spinner doing the equivalent of grabbing him by the collar and breaking down, but angst's angst). Taking a step further: Ch. 118, Someone wanted to fight and be punished for something that wasn't on them, after weeks of hiding their guilt. Time for Someone to be there 'cause Izuku ain't handling it alone. And I miss emotional Izuku I want him back, but His Trauma Also Has Hands.
Spinner writing a book to spread Tomura's gospel and Izuku suggesting to make it a comic makes sense; Quirk Singularity/Meta Liberation book (as he narrated the My Villain Academia Arc) vs. the OFA/AFO conflict that started through comics Toshinori, Yoichi and AFO read as kids. Those books were taken as bull or rewritten to fit the times/ideals, and only a select few read it. Comics would play into the reality-fantasy themes and reach the younger generation. Past doesn't die but if you don't let it haunt you it can be a lesson to take for the future. How would that be executed depends on how much Tenko is romanticized or sympathized with.
Izuku says he won't forget the LoV (and let's be honest, neither will Shoto, Ochako and Katsuki. And Iida, with luck) feels a little empty for now, so I'm betting on hindsight to see what he will do with this knowledge. After all, Izuku is (supposedly) the symbol of hope and the reality check everyone needs. It's still there, tangled in that trauma, the silly hero fanboy who's way too selfless, reckless and willing to fight for what he loves at the cost of himself. He just gotta let it sink; he doesn't have to hide and do it alone.
Waiting for Izuku to prove everyone wrong is just common sense :3
And the "Joki Joki" guy is being set-up to be either Tenko (ideal scenario) or someone who'll stand in as him (not-so-ideal in my opinion), and will definitely face the shunning from the civilians. They want to return to their fantasy, but consequences exist for a reason.
I'm convinced this is the beginning it was being referred to in 403: An era of reform for the world of BNHA. And it's part of the reason I am sold on the idea of a sequel; if that's the end of it, then that's a hell of a lead for a bittersweet/bleak ending for a story all about hope and bright futures. What does it mean to be a hero in a world that doesn't trust them anymore? Well, why not explore that?
Okay, with that out of the way. Overhaul. I don't care for him, so: he's pathetic, cry harder and maybe I'll feel bad, Izuku may hate him but still. Too kind to save him. His boss woke up to put him in his place (as if growing up in mafia didn't mess him up too. Joy /s.), too little too late, I hope Aizawa has official custody of Eri, otherwise she's gonna have to go back (adoption in Japan is only for 6yo and under so they can absorb them into their family. Eri is 7 so I hope she's staying with Aizawa). I'm sorry but. No.
After that, not many thoughts, but I see possible foreshadowing of Hawks bringing in more heroes, maybe a rehab for both villains and heroes? I hope so. (Izuku asked if he had that much power. I say: He should have. As a treat. :3333)
And as for the last page: Weird that it wasn't a Himichako cliffhanger but I guess it's because they'll be the last plot point of 428 and it'll lead up to "Joki Joki". I'm also expecting Hawks to be there, because of Twice.
And 2-A will be good role models, teaching 1st years blind worship is not good but that aside. Those fangirls better pack it up Shoto doesn't care (glad the family stuff didn't affect his school popularity) and if Katsuki isn't enjoying the attention then we got confirmation he swings for the other team- /hj
And with that, I finish this by saying: Fuck everyone who ignored Tenko, especially that hag who didn't help Tenko and led him to a hero or the police. She just had to drop him off with someone. It wasn't like he was gonna kill her back then as a traumatized 6yo fearing his own hands.
Thank you for reading!
#Boku no Hero Academia#spider.posts#BNHA spoilers#MHA spoilers#long post#Midoriya Izuku#Shuichi Iguchi#Spinner#Shimura Tenko#Shigaraki Tomura#BNHA 427#I still can't believe Spinneraki was just KTIZ in another font all along-#everyone that parallels them is doomed by the narrative before being supported I love it XD#ANYWAYS I'VE BEEN REWRITING THIS FOR OVER AN HOUR SO INTO THE QUEUE YOU GO-#MISTAKES BE DAMNED MY EYES ARE HURTING I'LL FIX ANY TYPOS LATER XD#by all accounts i don't think Izuku isn't responsible for Tenko's death the same way Tenko is for his attacks#Izuku was either accidental or coincided to Tenko's body breaking down. He still feels guilty about it tho#also full offense Spinner really called Izuku a murderer like he wasn't worshipping a guy called /Hero Killer Stain/#like. my dude. c'mon I know it's the grief but please have some self-awareness XD that's some dark comedy when you think of it
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also a separate mary/matthew question: what are their love languages? both to give and receive
Thank you for the ask!! Sorry it took a while, I was trying to get it perfect :D
SO. Matthew is a person who’s affectionate in visible, transparent ways. We’ve seen that so many times on the show. He kisses Mary’s cheek in greeting and goodbye. He likes a fair bit of PDA (the cricket match kiss..... he could NOT get back to the game without giving her a smooch!) not too over the top, but the way he does it leaves no doubt of how madly in love he is. He also LOVES cuddling - I’m taking that “I’ve held you in my arms....” scene as proof that this is a man who adores cuddles and snuggles. And he comes up with the SWEETEST verbal professions of love, too. They make my heart melt every time. - “I could never be happy with anyone else as long as you walk the earth." “I do love you so terribly much. “I will love you till the last breath leaves my body.” “I didn’t think it was possible to love as much as I love you.” “I fall more in love with you every day that passes." He’s such an adorable romantic! And he really likes doing things for and with Mary.... getting her necklaces because he knows she’s fond of them, giving her belly rubs during her pregnancies, dancing with her..... oh, he loves her too much.
Mary, though.... she’s more complex, and her love language is a little more subtle. The thing with Mary is... she’s not a person who will gush about how much she loves you. It’s hard for her to express herself verbally. But when someone has deeply cemented themselves in her heart, they can never for a moment doubt how much she loves them. She uses her “I love you”s more sparingly. Actions speak louder than words where she’s concerned. Her beauty lies in the things she does for Matthew that demonstrate how much he means to her. When he’s working late in the library, she lays on the settee to keep him company. She distracts him when she knows he's thinking about the war (especially in early November when Remembrance Day draws nearer). She calms him down when he has nightmares, simply by holding him and kissing him and reassuring him that everything’s all right and he’s perfectly safe with her. She gives him endless massages with warm, scented oil when his back hurts him. When he’s ill, she devotes herself to him body and soul. She doesn’t leave Matthew for a moment, unless she really has to. She gives him a rub between the shoulders when he’s hunched from sitting at the desk too long (in 3x04). AND SHE LOVES KISSING HIM. Yes. She likes their snog sessions, kissing him and being kissed. Mary uses kisses to convince him that she’s on his side (“There.... will that convince you?”), she uses it to apologise after they’ve had a tiff, she uses it to reassure him and support him. And she plays with Matthew’s ears quite often - if you notice, during most of their kisses, she's touching his earlobes..... oh, and she likes running her fingers through his hair. HIS THICK SOFT BEAUTIFUL HAIR. Her touch, her loving gaze, her tiny caresses..... Matthew treasures her gestures of affection, because they perfectly complement his.
#asks#answered#thank you!#sorry I took a while to answer this#Matthew x Mary#Mary x Matthew#Matthew Crawley#Mary Crawley#Do please flood my inbox#although I might take a while to formulate a coherent response XD#Downton Abbey
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Okay I have a design for Francis now!! :D
He’s such a silly goober, and honestly this design gives me an Apple/Apple Pie vibe!!
(Also bonus Ref Image that I used that I kept getting slightly startled by at a side glance XD:)
He looks eyeless oh my gooooossh but I caught the screenshot when he blinked that’s whyyy
#my art#please don’t steal my art thank u!!!#MGAFS#MGAFS spoilers#MGAFS Francis#(I swear I’m gonna probably have the same response with Forky and draw Francis constantly XD)#(also kinda a note for myself: if I draw Francis a hat he’s so getting the 2-tailed Jester kinda hat)
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The introduction of Harper is so good! I love her dynamic with Lawrence, especially with getting to see a more overtly creepy and sadistic side of Lawrence. I really can't wait to read more of them in the future. Especially curious to see how it goes when Harper realizes his "kids" are just kidnapped adults.
I'm glad you liked it, I was wondering if people would like this AU since it's pretty different from the main plot (even if the three still very much exist in Lawrence's captivity), so I'm relieved to know people did like it!!
Harper certainly is in for an emotional rollercoaster :'D
#answered ask#harper oc#i'm pretty excited to write their reaction to the three#harper and nathan i plan to get along the most since they'll both purposefully try to make lawrence angry#and then harper will realize its best if they don't encourage nathan's behavior... for their own health and for his :')#and be like “oh crap am i supposed to be the responsible one here??”#if anyone has any questions about harper please send em in!! or any of my ocs really XD
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employing the JJ abrams tactic, nice.
it’s funny to me how the logic behind tumblr’s new layout changes are to coddle potential new users, to make them feel more comfortable by giving them a layout that’s more familiar to navigate
…..by making the CURRENT users feel LESS comfortable by giving them a layout that’s LESS familiar to navigate.
they’re prioritizing a hypothetical scenario over their established, existing userbase, some of which (like me) who have been here for 10+ years
#I’m just dying#I hate this sm someone fix my dashboard PLEASE#For reference JJ abrams is only one of dozen to employ this tactic i just picked it bc I hate him in particular for it XD#He was responsible for rebooting Star Trek and then he decided he wasnt going to make Star Trek for the fans OF Star Trek but instead#For people who didn’t care#Cause he didn’t like Star Trek which he said in interviews#Nice#I don’t advocate for violence#But sometimes#I dream
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Gonna reblog a load of memes
This post (and the memes themselves honestly) is an invitation to Absolutely SPAM my ask with any you think are good or funny
#please spam me i love it#i will write many responses and have lots of fun#i mean i just painted my nails so I'll wait for them to dry and THEN i will write many responses XD#the television is off (ooc)
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"you can tell how young a gamer is by this comment" I am 19.
YOUNG
The aforementioned quote for context.
In the words of Sabrina Carpenter please please please don't prove I'm right. 😂 /lighthearted
You do know it's called discord out of context, right? 🤨 /lh
#if you're 'old' that makes me ancient#I'm just saying lmao#you're just further proving my point; surely you're semi aware of that right?#no one bother this person please I'm just laughing because it's like there's nothing wrong with being young it was a JOKE#but you decided 'and I took that personally' xD#much like the other person which is like wild that this happened twice within the span of like a month or so#same joke same response; gets folks every time apparently#you don't gotta respond; you could just laugh and be like yeah i guess i am huh heh true true and move on about your day#but i guess people really wanna be old super badly or something; enjoy your youth; enjoy existing young please do 💜#the first one also happened on a discord out of context post lmaoooo this is wild#xxnu11-sku11xx#asks#ask#mine#op#cw adult things#cw adult stuff
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Oh wow, never gotten that message before. This has basically become the most innefficent way to reply. XD
Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad appreciation post
“clamp your gob, old man”
contemplating death
glass case of emotions
Bitch Slap™
#i accidentally reblogged this on my other account#oh well#bitch slap#assassin's creed#i made altaïr twirl around all the time#altaïr ibn la'ahad#<previous tags#Altaïr just hears Desmond's shitty rendition of “You spin me Round”#< thedragonqueen1998 prev tags#ngl you said “You Spin Me Round” and my brain went “Turn around... every now and then-”#and now i'm just imagining desmond singing both songs on repeat XD#< previous tag#Altaïr knows no peace#and he can't do jack shit about the spirit haunting him#Desmond is messing with Altaïr 'cause he can't do anything to the Templars#and Altaïr's a bit of a dick in the beginning so he deserves it#< thedragonqueen 1998 prev tags 2#they are both suffering and annoying each other#just to get some kind of 'reprieve'#but also...#altaïr thinks desmond is his true punishment for failing the mission XD#< previous tags#does Altaïr think God himself sent a spirit to punish him#or that Al Mualim is responsible?#either way#he just wants some peace and quiet#just for 5 minutes#Desmond please!#i am begging you#Desmond is just having the time if his life
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:)
AJSJAJSJ
#okay so I’ve been studying for the last. three hours and I think that’s affecting my r response#but I REALLY CANT LAUGH RN PLEASE IM OUTAIDE OF A CLASS#anyways thank you I love it XD
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Propaganda
Jeremy Brett (My Fair Lady)—"...he was beautiful. A strange adjective to use in describing a man. I use it not to suggest effeminacy or a kind of male prettiness, but in the same way I would use it to describe a throughbred stallion, Michelangelo's David or Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. There was with Jeremy Huggins [Brett's non- stage name] a perfection and sublime symmetry in his features that was beautiful." [quote from "Bending the Willow" by David Stuart Davies]
Gene Kelly (Singin’ in the Rain, An American in Paris, The Pirate)—It’s hard to know where to start with Gene Kelly because he did so, so much, of such a high quality, from the ballet scenes in “An American in Paris” to the classy suave movie star act of “Singin’ in the Rain” to the incredibly camp, sexy “The Pirate”. He just never stopped finding cool ways to do things and he’s just brilliant to watch, especially when he’s dancing, but even when he’s doing drama or being silly! He’s one of those guys who could genuinely do it all and just radiates charisma through the screen, literally an #icon in every sense of the word.
This is round 4 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Jeremy Brett propaganda:
"according to critic Kenneth Tynan a 'too beautiful' Hamlet."
“Please take my humble offering of propaganda for bisexual icon ✨️Jeremy Brett✨️ and his early career!"
"he’s such a himbo sunshine boy in my fair lady"
“not technically propaganda because it won’t let me save the images but just found out my bi king jeremy brett played patroclus https://www.jeremy-brett.fr/crbst_183.html and also apparently dorian gray in the 60s and basil hallward in the 70s?? range.”
"...as a dashing D'Artagnan in The Three Musketeers (1966/67) (Duelling is no problem! XD)”
“dropping to sleep - Jeremy is far too handsome to play d'art and also too tall, lol”
Gene Kelly propaganda:
youtube
youtube
youtube
"he was genuinely kind and supportive to judy garland when she was going through a rough time. she was having heavy trauma/addiction responses in 'Summer Stock' which led to her being late all the time and being too scared to come on set, and he actually faked twisting his ankle to distract everyone from her and give her some time off! so yeah, maybe he was a hardass, but when his friend needed him he was 100% there for her, and I think that's worth noting."
#gene kelly#jeremy brett#hotvintagepoll#fuck that old man#round 4#sherlock holmes vs—no i shant say it
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pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader
genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff, established relationship
content warnings: emotional neglect, some swearing, hoon is kinda a workaholic ig?, I don't think there's anything that really needs warnings other than this is sad but lmk if I miss anything!
summary: your boyfriend comes home late after promising to be home on time for once, only to find that you're nowhere in sight...
notes: this is another one that I'm not sure how to feel about ;-; but I hope you guys enjoy it TwT fun fact, the whole thing was inspired by an rp that I did with an ai where the robot somehow managed to call me by another person's name while cuddling XD
I'm making a general taglist for my fics so if anyone would like to be added please either send an ask or a DM ^w^
Everything below the cut is NOT proofread
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The white noise of your favorite movie buzzes through your living room, conversation and dialogue that you’d learned by heart filling the cold space with a false sense of familiarity. You sit cross-legged with your back pressed into the arm of the L-shaped couch in front of the tv, resting your chin on a plushie held close to your chest, looking not at the flickering screen to your right, but at the clock hanging in your kitchen–the only room in the house with the lights on.
9:17 pm, it reads. Roughly three hours and seventeen minutes since your boyfriend would typically get home from work.
Three hours and seventeen minutes since you’d been waiting on a barstool by the kitchen island where you both usually took your meals.
A tiramisu cake and a bouquet of flowers laid out in front of you.
Waiting.
Waiting.
So much waiting.
After an hour or so, you’d gently slid the cake back into its box, distracting yourself with the task of putting the flowers into a vase before they could wilt.
‘He’s late again,’ you think sleepily, eyes struggling to stay focused on the clock, ’he promised he wouldn’t be tonight.’
Your vision blurs as the long hand hits 12, eyelids too heavy to keep open, mind wandering to the conversation you’d shared with Sunghoon that morning.
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“What time will you be home from work today?” you asked sleepily, sitting up in your nest of blankets, having woken up to find that he was already in the process of pulling his socks on, careful not to wake you.
“I don’t know, Love, you know how crazy things have been with this update, I might be late again,” he said absently, looking around for his glasses. “Where the fuck did I put them?”
He runs a hand through his hair frustratedly, leg bouncing in agitation. It made your heart ache slightly in your chest, disappointment, guilt, and worry mixing confusedly in your stomach.
You loved Sunghoon, more than almost anything else in your life, he was the man you’d chosen as your partner, who you’d decided to stand by through thick and thin. But ever since the game company he worked for had started work on a new update, you’d been seeing less and less of him. Always coming home late, tired and stressed, mind wandering and absent even when he was sitting right in front of you. You understood, you really did. Between the two of you he was the one with the bigger income, the burden of taking care of you, of making sure that the two of you could build a future together, was on his shoulders. And it was a responsibility that he did not take lightly.
But still.
In moments like that, where you slid off your bed to fetch his glasses off the nightstand–blanket wrapped securely round your shoulders to fend off the cold that permeated your apartment since the heating had started to malfunction–moving round the bed to stand in front of him… you couldn’t help but feel like he was breaking your heart. Just a little.
It was in the way he only met your eyes briefly when he took them from you before standing and gathering the rest of his things, sighing in what could’ve been frustration or relief, it was hard to tell.
It was the way he didn’t stop the flow of movement steadily taking him away from you and towards the office till you called his name twice, stopping in his tracks and fixing you with a look that, though probably unintentional, made you want to bury yourself under your mountain of plushies and hide.
“I’m going to be late, (y/n), what is it?”
You winced. You couldn’t help it. Unaccustomed to hearing him say your name with so little emotion. “Just… could you come back on time tonight?” your voice is barely more than a whisper, tapering off into silence the longer you force your eyes to meet his. “Unless you can’t of course! I’m not saying you have to do anything, I understand that you’re busy and you can’t really dictate when or how things get done but just that it would be nice if you could be home on time tonight since-”
“Okay.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll make it home on time tonight.”
His voice was softer than it had been a moment ago, giving you the courage you needed to meet his eyes. They were still heavy with worry, brows drawn together to dig a permanent crease into the middle of his forehead, but they weren’t quite as cold or distant. He was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time in what felt like forever.
It wasn’t much, you knew that. But it was still enough to ease the knot building in your throat. Enough to bring a small smile to your face as you nodded. “Mnm! Okay, I’ll see you tonight then.”
“Mnm, alright,” he said, a small, slightly strained smile coming to rest on his own lips.
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The apartment was almost completely dark when the lock to the front door chimed, alerting the darkness that someone had arrived. The figure that stepped through was slumped over, backpack sliding off one shoulder with his jacket, shoes abandoned haphazardly.
It took a moment for Sunghoon’s mind to catch up to his body, for it to fully sink into his bones that he was home. That he was home and it was nearly 11 pm. Home and the tv and kitchen light were both on, white letters onscreen asking the room if anyone was still watching Netflix.
Something in the kitchen caught his eye, a handmade vase his sister had given you for your birthday set out on the kitchen island, filled to the brim with pink, white, and purple flowers he did not recognise.
’Oh’
It was his birthday.
That’s why you’d asked him to come home on time.
Sunghoon groaned, face twisting with what could only be described as pain as he quickly set his bag down by the front door and made his way to your shared bedroom. You were usually asleep by this time, unable to pull all-nighters the way you used to back when you were in high school, always out like a light by no later than 10:30 every night.
��’But she still stays up every night waiting for you,’ a voice in his head hisses.
’I know… fuck I know she does,’ his own voice replies, panic setting in when he finds your room empty, the bed neatly made, not even a dent to show that you’d been laying in it while working on your laptop during the day.
’She’s not here… are you surprised? How long did you expect her to wait?’ the voice whispers, a chill cascading down his spine.
The panic sets in with more vigor, wrapping round his throat and sending his tired mind into overdrive as he checks the bathroom, your home office, and finally the dark living room. Fear telling him that this was it.
He’d really gone and done it now.
He wasn’t a complete fool. He knew the moment you stood in the middle of your bedroom floor instead of closing the distance between you and wrapping your arms around his waist, choosing instead to clutch your favorite duvet like a lifeline, wincing when you heard his voice, all because you wanted to ask him to come home… he knew right then that he’d been an absolute idiot.
He’d meant to come home early, to be there to make it up to you, to apologise properly, tell you that he’d take some time off as soon as the update was done and dusted.
But he didn’t. He let work sweep him up again. Drowning in error messages and buggy code till the sky outside his office windows was filled with the flickering lights of the city at night.
And now… now you weren’t there.
He’d left you alone.
He’d left you alone too long and you were gone.
You were gone.
You were gone and-
’Oh.’
There you were.
The relief when Sunghoon sees you–curled up on the couch, partially hidden by a small pile of blankets and stuffed animals–is immediate.
He doesn’t really register the way he sighs your name, shoulders relaxing, body melting into the floor the moment he’s in front of you, hand brushing a few messy strands of hair out of your face. The need to feel the warmth of your skin, to confirm that you really are there in front of him more an instinct than a conscious decision.
You mumble something in your sleep, tilting your face away from his cold fingertips, eyes fluttering open. “Hoon… hi baby… welcome home,” you say tiredly, shifting under your blankets in an attempt to pull yourself up.
Sunghoon feels his heart crack in his chest. Why were you smiling at him? You should've been angry. You should've pushed him away, demanded to know why he was back so late, why he'd been neglecting you in the first place.
“Baby? My love… why are you crying?” you ask, reaching for him through the haze of sleep still clinging to your limbs.
Choking back a sob, he leans closer, tucking his head under your chin and doing his best to wrap an arm around you from his place on the carpeted floor. “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head, though the tears soaking into your sternum say otherwise, “just missed you…”
Your vision blurs at his words, a thread of steadily building tension and worry that had been constricting your heart for the past few weeks snapping. “Oh…” your voice shakes slightly, lungs shuddering as your breaths begin to feel lighter, “I’m right here you goose, what’re you crying for?”
“Who says I’m crying,” he says, hoarse with tears.
“Right right,” you laugh despite the dampness now soaking through your own cheeks, “because my baby never cries, huh?”
“Never,” he sniffles, nuzzling closer.
You stay like that for a while, eventually urging him to sit more comfortably on the couch, allowing you to settle yourself on his lap, his arms still wrapped firmly round your waist, hands occasionally kneading whatever part of you he was in contact with as if he needed to assure himself that you were there, solid and real.
He waits until he feels your heartbeat slow to a steady rhythm, trying his best to calm down so his own can match yours, beat for beat. The way it–in his opinion–should.
But it wouldn’t, there were words lodged in his throat, and every time he tried to get them out he felt that same panic wash over him, sending his heart into a frenzy.
You could feel like beating against your cheek, could sense that there was something he wasn’t saying from the way his grip on you would tighten almost imperceptibly, stiffening as if he was bracing himself for something. A part of you wanted to push him, prompt him and ask what was going through his head, why you’d woken up to the sight of him crying in the dim light of your living room. And you would’ve if he hadn’t beat you to it.
“I’m sorry, (y/n).”
“What do you mean? For being late? I know you can’t help it, Hoon, it’s not some-”
“No! I mean yes, I’m sorry for being late tonight but… I mean… I mean for everything… for not being… here, with you, like this… as often as I should be, I’m sorry,” he says, the hands at your sides nervously fidgeting with the fabric at your hips, nervously looking between your face and the static tv screen behind you.
Sunghoon had never been good with words. You’d learned early on in your relationship that he preferred to show how he felt through his actions. Yet here he was, fumbling through an apology because… because…
“My love… did you think I’d left?” you ask, gently cupping his face with one hand, urging him to look at you.
Puffy red eyes still wet with tears, messy unkempt hair from running his hands through it all day, tired and probably as emotionally spent as you’d ever seen him and still… still he was the most beautiful person in the world to you. He nodded, hiding his face in your chest again, hands stilling.
“Well,” you sigh, resting your chin on top of his head and running a hand through the hair at the back of his head, combing through it in a way he swears only you can, “at least you know you’ve got things you need to make up for…”
“I know… I forgot for a while… but I know…”
“That’s okay then,” you breathe, leaning back to kiss his forehead. “But Sunghoon… baby… darling… the love of my life… my little pookie bear… “ you both giggle a little at the pet names, “You know I’d never leave you over something like this right? I was sad, and hurt, and I still expect you to make it up to me by never doing this again but… I still love you, it only hurts because I love you… I’m not going anywhere.”
Sunghoon pauses for a moment, letting your words sink in. You think that when he looks up, lips slightly parted, it’s to say something in response, but you really should’ve known better.
Slowly, giving you enough time to pull away should you choose to, his breath mingling with yours before he steals it away with a soft, lingering kiss. Neither of you is in any rush to take things further.
It feels like a small eternity before he pulls away, like time stills for you both, but then he’s pressing his lips to your jaw, butterfly kisses tickling you down to your pulse point, making you giggle so you almost miss it when he says, “I love you too… so much…”
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
It isn’t until the next day when you’re shuffling into your home office dressed in one of his oversized jerseys, complaining about a meeting that he remembers the flowers he’d seen on the kitchen island.
Pulling out his phone, he makes good use of his detective skills (and google lens), remembering all the times you’d spoken to him about the language of flowers, and the meanings behind certain blooms.
He wasn’t quite sure whether to laugh or cry once he’d figured it out, opting to dig through the cabinets for a pack of waffle mix to fix you some breakfast instead. He had a lot of apologies to make…
Baby’s Breath: pure everlasting love
Pink Camellias: longing for you
Forget-me-nots: true love memories, do not forget me
#kiki writes things ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡#sunghoon#park sunghoon#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen#enhypen x reader#sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon x you#fluff#enhypen fluff#angst#enhypen angst#cw: swearing#cw: neglect
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Wingwoman (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader
Summary: You take your good friend/coworker, Spencer, out to the bar to find him a girl to hook up with. Things do not go as planned.
Word Count: 5107
Warnings: Romantic/sexual tension! Mentions of drinking / sex
A/N: Hi! I haven't written posted fanfic in like, 8 years, please be nice xD I would love to know your thoughts - if you have any requests or anything, I'm happy to oblige. ALSO -- I have only seen up to Season 7 of Criminal Minds because I'm a fckn loser. Anywayyyyy enjoy! Not my gif btw, all credit to the owner :)
———————————
It was kind of your fault, now that you were thinking back on it.
Actually, it was definitely your fault, now that you were thinking back on it.
It had been your suggestion to go out. It had been your idea to act as Spencer’s wingwoman, some last-ditch effort to try to get him out of your mind. He was your coworker, for Christ’s sake. And your best friend. And you’d thought about him desperately for eight of the nine months that you’d known him.
Emily, Derek, and Penelope had all agreed to tag along, but as the work day went on, each of your coworkers had found some kind of excuse to opt-out. Derek’s niece wanted to Facetime. Penelope forgot Kevin’s birthday was next week and needed to go shopping for a present. Emily had a headache.
Finding Spencer a romantic prospect on your own was certainly not the plan, but, stupidly, thoughtlessly, you’d decided to go along with it. You could do this. Just one night in a bar, chatting up women for the man you’d slowly been falling for the past eight months. As good of an idea as any, right?
You and Spencer took an Uber to the bar the group frequented. Ski-ball and pool in one corner, a vintage jukebox and small space set aside as a makeshift dance floor in the other. But the best part - half-off drinks for federal agents. You’d never been one to abuse the badge before, but…
Three Jack-and-Diet-Cokes later, your moral code had a bit of a crack in it.
Spencer stood next to you - towered over you, actually, because that man was a fucking beanpole - and you felt his eyes on you as you scanned the crowd. “What about her?” you suggested, jerking your chin to the woman at a high-top table against the wall. She had her nose stuck in her phone and an untouched martini on the table in front of her.
“She’s clearly waiting for someone,” Spencer pointed out, and you realized he was right just as the woman looked up from her phone and towards the door for the third time in the past minute. “I also don’t understand why you’re so dead set on finding someone to hog me up with.”
You snorted into your drink. “Hog you up with?” you repeated, turning in your barstool so you faced him. Your knees brushed his thighs.
“Yeah, is that not…” realization dawned on Spencer and he grimaced. “That’s not the phrase, is it?”
“Hook,” you corrected, but not impatiently. You made a little hook with your index finger, like a pirate. A little giggle escaped you. “And I’m not dead set on it,” you argued. “I just didn’t want to be the only one leaving the bar with someone.”
Your eyes flickered up to Spencer’s to gauge his reaction. He seemed surprised by this implication that you planned to leave with someone - someone who was not him.
“Yeah? Who are you leaving with, matey?” Spencer countered, arching a brow and pointedly looking at your index finger, still in its hooked position. You dropped your hand.
“It doesn’t matter right now,” you blushed furiously, desperately trying to drive the conversation back to his romantic conquests. Your thought process was that if you actually saw Spencer with someone else in any sort of romantic capacity - dancing, flirting, kissing - you’d finally hurt yourself enough with the sight for those stupid feelings for him to dissipate. “We’re looking for you.”
Spencer merely hmm-ed in response, an indecisive non-answer, and you noticed he shook his head. Like he was annoyed, but trying not to show it. You swallowed the lump in your throat and polished off your drink before returning to examining the patrons in the bar. You nudged Spencer’s elbow with your own and your gaze landed on the group of three women giggling around one of the tables. “Any of them? The blonde is cute,” you pointed out.
“Not really into blondes,” Spencer muttered, and you glanced back at him. You could have sworn his eyes were locked on your brunette hair. You opened your mouth to say something, but Spencer cut you off. “But, sure, if watching me strike out will amuse you, Y/N.” Before you could protest, Spencer set his glass down on the bar and started towards the trio of women at the table.
You leaned down to sniff his glass, curious as to what he’d been drinking. Clear liquid. No smell. Was he… totally sober?
You watched with narrowed, studious eyes as Spencer approached the women. You could only see the back of his head, but the three women’s faces were perfectly visible. They smiled, friendly, unassuming, and then something came out of Spencer’s mouth that changed their expressions. The blonde in the middle furrowed her brows, and the two women on either side cocked their heads slightly. Spencer’s hand tapped the table and he earned awkward smiles as a goodbye was bid, and when he turned around to head back towards the bar, he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, like what are you gonna do?
“What happened?” you asked as he returned to you.
“I blew it,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. Too accepting of his defeat. Further supporting your theory that he’d gone over there and purposefully botched it.
“Right,” you flagged down the bartender to order another drink.
“You’re getting another one?” Spencer asked.
You whirled your face to meet his and didn’t see judgment, but rather, concern. “Why does it matter?” you asked, no, dared.
Spencer shook his head, defeatedly. “It doesn’t,” he grumbled.
“What about that girl you were talking to earlier by the jukebox?” you asked, nudging his shin with your foot. “The grabby one. She seemed really into you.”
Spencer visibly gritted his teeth. “I’m not interested.”
“Are you interested in anyone in this bar tonight?” You asked. The words came too quickly for you to stop them. They were too real. Especially as Spencer’s frown hardened just slightly and you watched him look away from you.
You took in a sharp inhale, the realization hitting you, the possibility that Spencer might actually feel the same way about you. And that you’d dragged him out here tonight to try and set him up with someone else. You were selfish and thoughtless and stupid.
You hopped off the barstool, your feet wavering beneath you. “I’d better go home,” you said suddenly, grabbing your bag. You had to leave. You had to go home before you said something stupid, something irreversible.
You stalked out of the bar and onto the brisk, late-autumn sidewalk. You’d forgotten your coat at the office and insisted you’d be fine. The chill smacked you in the face and you tucked your bag beneath your shoulder so you could cross your arms over your chest and hug yourself for any semblance of warmth.
Thirty seconds hadn’t even passed before the door creaked and Spencer appeared at your side, throwing his coat wordlessly over your shoulders. “What did I do?” he asked. You looked up at him and saw his eyes - hurt, frustrated, confused.
Your lips parted and there was a small shake of your head. “No,” you breathed. He furrowed his brows and you explained further. “You didn’t do anything.”
“Then why the hell have you been so weird around me lately?” Spencer asked, scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. Like a temperamental first-grader.
“Weird how?” You asked, trying to pretend like you had no idea what he was talking about. Like your stomach didn’t flip every morning when you saw him.
“Like you’re… like you’re mad at me. Like you don’t want to be around me,” Spencer looked at the street ahead of the both of you rather than at you. “You always find an excuse to leave the room when it’s just the two of us. You pull Derek or Emily or Penelope into the conversation so you don’t have to interact with just me. You’re out here trying to find me someone to hook up with?” he phrased the last sentence as a question, shaking his head. Your heart lurched. He let out an incredulous laugh. “It’s either you’re trying to shrug me off as a friend entirely, or -”
He stopped himself. His eyes were fixed on the streetlamp a few feet in front of you. They widened and you felt your heart pound as he slowly met your gaze. The realization hit him, the second half of his sentence lingering, heavy and palpable between the two of you.
“Or,” you repeated, not phrasing it as a question. Your voice was soft as you said it, your tone anything but a question.
“Or?” Spencer asked, and you could see his chest start to rise and fall more slowly.
“Or,” you confirmed, taking in a sharp breath.
Spencer’s throat bobbed as he looked at you, his gaze piercing and soft, studious and lazy, hungry and satiated all at once. “Oh.”
Oh.
“How long?” he asked, turning his feet towards you.
Your face went red and you lifted your chin, refusing to make yourself feel ashamed of it anymore. There wasn’t any point, not when he knew now. “Since March,” you admitted. Your voice was squeaky.
“March?” Spencer repeated, incredulous. It was early October now.
“Yeah,” you exhaled, shrugging his jacket off your shoulders and bunching it up by the middle. You handed it to him. “You don’t have to say anything,” you said. Your body felt like it was on fire. “You don’t have to-”
“I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.”
You thought maybe you were hallucinating for a second. Your mouth fell open and despite your three drinks, you remembered clearly that Spencer had been drinking water. This was not some drunken confession, not for either of you, because the second he’d asked you why you had been so weird lately, you had instantly sobered up. “Oh,” was all you managed to choke out.
Oh.
“Yeah, oh,” Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smile. That playful, friendly, teasing little smile you’d learned to love on him. He stepped towards you.
You let out this little half-garbled laugh. Spencer reached for your hand, and you let him. Your fingers spread, allowing his in the spaces between. You looked up at Spencer and little fires shot up your hand. How could merely holding hands feel so monumental?
“What do we… what do we do now?” You asked, your mind in a haze, like a computer awaiting command.
Spencer let his jacket fall to the concrete and used his other hand to slowly, almost hesitantly, cup your cheek. He looked down at you and your entire face reddened. “Well,” his voice was soft, crackling, like a fireplace, and he met your gaze with searching eyes. “I’d like to kiss you now, if that would be okay,” he said finally. Your lips turned up into an idiotic smile.
“I think that would be okay,” you whispered.
His hands were so soft, you realized. His grip on your hand loosened and he was now cupping your face on both sides. And every nerve in your cheeks was firing off signals - Spencer is touching my face, Spencer is touching my face. Like it was some forbidden thing. But then, as if in slow motion, he ducked his head down and his lips touched yours. Gently, at first, tentative and wobbly like a foal taking its first steps. Your hands rested on his torso - taut beneath that stupid little sweater vest.
He pulled back after just a moment. It was really only five or six seconds at the most, but you were red-faced and breathless by the time your eyes fluttered open, into his. Spencer’s smile was now a full-blown grin, and your expression mirrored his. “Yeah?” He asked, the word carrying more meaning. You’re into this, right?
“Yeah,” you exhaled as Spencer dropped his hands from your face, but your hands remained on his torso, not wanting to step away just yet. The syllable meant more coming from you, too. I’m really, very much, super into this. Please, for the love of god, kiss me again.
Spencer arched a brow ever so slightly, and you nodded your head.
Just like a dance, Spencer’s hands moved to your waist, and at the same time, you slid yours around his neck. He backed you up, completely disregarding his jacket on the sidewalk, until you were flush against the brick wall belonging to the bar. The brisk October breeze ruffled through his hair and yours, yet, suddenly, neither of you were terribly concerned about the weather.
He kissed you again, and this time it wasn’t as timid. Slowly, at first, his lips pressed against yours, and then his tongue darted out. It teased your lips in silent invitation, and you opened them to grant him access. His hands were everywhere, your hips, your hair, your face. You had moved your own down to his torso again. He coaxed the tiniest little mewl out of your throat, a completely uncontrollable and inevitable noise.
Spencer’s low, gravelly groan reverberated through your mouth. Your hands gripped the bottom half of his shirt, balling it up in tight, white-knuckled fists. An unmistakable hardness brushed against your thigh. You were perfectly content to stay right there, pinned against the exterior wall of a D.C. bar, but the sound of a car honking its horn peeled Spencer off of you.
His face was flushed and you released his shirt from your grasp. He let out a small grunt, stepping away from you to grab his jacket off the ground, wrinkling it haphazardly in his hand, holding it strategically over his middle.
Oh, he liked you a lot.
“You okay, Spence?” You asked all-knowingly, cocking your head to the side, leaning against the wall, lifting a foot to plant against it.
Spencer shot a set of narrowed eyes at you, as if noting your smirk and storing it for later. “Yeah, I’m great,” he said, obviously struggling a little bit. His eyes quickly left yours and looked everywhere but at you.
You didn’t want to embarrass him too much. So you just crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the sidewalk. But the smirk on your face wasn’t going away quite so easily. You considered briefly trying to talk to him about baseball or something to try and help him out, but you decided pointing it out would just humiliate him. Plus, it was a nice little ego boost, knowing you could get him like that with just a simple touch.
He took a second, but he finally cleared his throat and met your gaze. You sucked your front teeth with your tongue and then bit your lip. “Want me to call an Uber?” You asked.
Spencer just nodded, and you pushed yourself off the wall, stepping over to join him, digging your phone out of your pocket to order the car. “You okay?” You asked him again after submitting the request on your phone. Spencer’s face was still flushed, but he just nodded and reached for your hand. “Careful,” you warned, unable to resist the opportunity to tease him. “Don’t want you having an-“
“Shut up,” Spencer cut you off, and you snickered.
——————————————————
You had never been in Spencer’s apartment before. It was unmistakably his, with stacks upon stacks of books in lieu of furniture.
There was a sofa in his living room, along with a coffee table, a couple of lamps, and a television on a stand. The remaining space, besides a few spots here and there and a clear path with which to maneuver the room, was filled with books.
You had never seen so many books in someone’s possession before. And sure, you were an avid reader yourself. But nothing like this. Your heart fluttered at the sight, not only because books simply just made you happy, but because it was an incredibly endearing detail about Spencer. Your Spencer.
He shut and locked the door after you stepped inside, looking around with a childlike, awestruck grin. The TV had a thin layer of dust over the screen - he clearly didn’t use it often. And as you trailed a finger along the top of the nearest stack of books, you felt a pair of eyes watching your every move.
You and Spencer had both been quiet in the Uber ride here. He had simply held your hand, swiping his thumb across the back of your palm every few seconds. You would occasionally meet his gaze, but then quickly, bashfully, look away, like the two of you were teenagers.
It was so strange to think of what he had said to you - I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met. How had you not figured it out before now?
You supposed you had been hiding your true feelings as well, so he was allowed to, too.
There wasn’t any point in wishing to change the past, you reminded yourself. All you should be focusing on is right now.
And right now, the street lamps peeked in through Spencer’s living room window, glinting off of his endless brown eyes and making them look like he had the moon in his irises.
“So,” you said softly, not nearly as wicked as you had been when you were teasing him on the street by the bar. “This is where you live.”
“Uh-huh,” Spencer bobbed his head, that awkward, straight-line smile crossing his face.
“Lot of books,” you pointed out.
“Yep.”
You arched a brow, a teasing smile crossing your face once again. “What’s with the monosyllabic conversation?”
Spencer clenched and unclenched his fists at his side. “It’s just… really difficult to just stand here and not touch you,” he admitted, a sheepish smile crossing his face.
You grinned. “You can touch me,” your voice dropped an octave, without you even really thinking about it.
Spencer licked a canine with the tip of his tongue. God, that tongue. You remembered how he’d teased you less than an hour ago outside of the bar. “Maybe I will,” he shrugged, and you rolled your eyes.
“You can’t really play it cool, right now, Spencer. Not when I just gave you a-“
“Please stop talking,” Spencer laughed, crossing the room and cupping your cheeks in his hands all in the same movement. You snickered and he kissed you and anything you might have been wanting to make fun of him for was forgotten about.
You pressed your hands against his chest - holy pectorals, Batman - and craned your neck up so you could reach him. Spencer slid his own hands down your arms and to your hips, and you looped your arms around his neck. One palm flattened against the back of his head, holding him in place, fingers curling around pieces of his soft hair.
Your heart was hammering away, and there was this aching, hot feeling that was pooling in your core and you all of a sudden felt hungry. Starving for Spencer, for every piece of him, for fully and finally crossing that line from friend to lover. An insatiable hunger for nearly every moment since you’d known him.
Finally you broke away from him, simply because oxygen was a necessity, and he rested his forehead against yours. Your eyes were still closed and your fingers ground into his scalp. “Look at me,” he requested, his voice low.
Your eyes opened obediently and one of Spencer Reid’s hands curled under your chin. His face moved away from yours but his gaze was locked on yours, a pinpoint, a Northern Star.
And when Spencer spoke again, your knees buckled.
“I want you.”
Your mouth fell open, ever so slightly, and you nodded. “I want you, too,” you whispered.
“Are you still…?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. You’d had three drinks earlier that evening, after all, but you’d polished the last one off nearly an hour ago. Maybe not fully sober, but sober enough to know what you wanted.
“I’m fine,” you assured him.
Spencer inclined his head to the side. “You’re sure? Can you pass a sobriety test?”
You narrowed your eyes at him before you realized he was being sarcastic. You stepped back from him, shrugging off his hands, and extended your arms, touching your nose with your left hand, then your right. Spencer just laughed, and reached out for you, tugging you back to him. “Okay,” he chuckled, planting a kiss on your neck. You let him. “You’re fine, then?”
“I’m fine,” you agreed, shrugging him out of his sweater vest, and then reaching for the buttons on his shirt underneath.
Spencer kissed your neck as you fumbled with the buttons - how were buttons suddenly impossible to undo? Your head craned back just slightly on instinct, wanting - needing - to allow Spencer more access. Your dexterity had become abysmal at this point, and Spencer’s lips were kissing your neck, down your throat, teasing at your collarbone. “Spencer,” you managed to groan out, a wave of annoyance present in your tone.
“What?” he asked, pulling back, concern filling his face.
You realized you had actually worried him. “Oh, no, no,” you waved it away, and he visibly relaxed. “I’m just really frustrated, because… because your shirt,” you stammered, and Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smirk.
“My shirt,” he stated.
“That one, right here,” You laughed softly, curling your fingers around the buttons. You managed to wiggle one free, then another. Spencer leaned forward to continue kissing your neck, but you held a hand up to stop him. “Hang on,” you murmured, working through another button, and one more. “I’m concentrating.”
“You’re sticking your tongue out,” Spencer snickered. Your eyes met his and your cheeks flushed.
“I’m concentrating!” Your voice rose slightly in self-defense. Spencer’s hands went to your hips.
“It’s adorable,” he told you. “You make the same face at work. When you’re in the middle of filling out a form or trying to open a new bottle of coffee creamer without spilling it,” Spencer rubbed circles in your hips and your fingers stopped working again.
“You noticed that kind of stuff?” You asked softly, looking up at him with doe eyes.
Spencer just nodded. “All the time.”
I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.
You inhaled sharply, finally undoing the last button.The skin beneath the shirt was pale, smooth, and perfect. And when he slid his arms through the sleeves and the shirt fell to the ground, you bit your lip, unable to help it.
“Y/N?”
You met Spencer’s gaze and let out this awkward little laugh. Embarrassing, really, if you hadn’t been in the company of your best friend. “You okay?” he asked, and you felt a little giddy as you nodded, moving your hands to his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him again.
You didn’t know which direction the bedroom was in, so you just took a guess, pushing him back towards one of the doors. He kept his hands on your hips and his lips pressed against yours as he guided you, walking backwards, to the right door. You entered the bedroom and could not possibly be bothered to look around right now, not when Spencer was guiding you in a circle by merely touching your hips, not when the back of your knees hit what was unmistakably a mattress, not when you fell back against it.
Your eyes were shut, unwilling to take in your surroundings as Spencer guided you onto your back. You toed off your shoes before lifting your legs, and Spencer hovered over you. Your lips were locked with his the entire time. And when you finally opened your eyes and you saw only Spencer, you grinned like a fool.
Spencer’s fingers were like taking a shower. They were all over you - your hips, first, then your stomach, and you had to resist the urge to giggle because they tickled as he teased the bottom hem of your shirt up. You sat up slightly to get the blouse over your head and you watched him discard it onto the floor. And then his hands were over your chest, thumbs teasing under the wire of your bra, outlining the shapes of your breasts.
Your breathing had gone heavy and staccato by this point, your body sinking into the mattress, shipwrecked as Spencer touched you. His eyes wandered over your and that little smile on his face was enough for you to know that he was immensely enjoying himself.
“Can I…?” Spencer’s hands wandered down and gripped your pants as he looked into your eyes, a brow arched.
You swallowed a lump in your throat and your blush appeared over your cheeks at the same time as his. “Yeah,” you whispered, and Spencer helped you wiggle out of your pants - black slacks, since you had gone straight from work to the bar. They were soon tossed to the floor, and you were only in your underwear and your bra. And Spencer’s brown eyes did not make you feel objectified or embarrassed, but safe.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he told you, seriously, and your breath hitched in your throat.
“You-”
“I’m not done,” Spencer cut you off, lifting a hand to run his thumb down your chin. “You’re so beautiful. And you’re so kind, and smart, and funny. And I’d really like to show you how much I care about you,” he looked into your eyes as a sort of request.
“I’m not on birth control,” You breathed out in response, feeling your cheeks redden for even bringing it up. Way to damper the mood. Still, you wanted to be responsible. “Do you have a c-”
Spencer’s soft smile turned into a wicked grin and he shook his head. “We’re not going to need one,” he promised, and after looking into his eyes for a moment, you understood.
________________________________________
Spencer had thoroughly worshiped you, until you quaked and cried out with absolutely no thought to how thin his apartment walls might be. Usually, you didn’t allow yourself to be the center of attention for too long, but Spencer had insisted, and, well, you couldn’t very well deny him what he wanted, right?
Covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your hair matted to the back of your neck, Spencer finally lay down beside you. Your breathing was just starting to come back to you as you turned on your side to face him. Spencer’s body mirrored yours, the tips of his fingers - those fingers - trailing up the side of your arm. “That was…” his voice was soft, gravelly, and he looked at you like you had anything to do with it. It was literally all him. “Incredible.”
“Yeah,” you managed to breathe out, unable to really focus on anything besides the curve of Spencer’s lips, the way the apples of his cheeks appeared when he smiled like this. Spencer kissed your lips, unlike any way he had before. All the other kisses tonight had been hungry and excited, exploratory and new. This one was lazy and slow and you let his tongue dance across yours, and when he finally pulled away, your nose scrunched up in delight.
Your eyes traveled from his lips, down his neck, his collarbone, then back up, taking him in. The glow of his skin, the tired yet exhilarated look in his eyes. So different now than at the beginning of the night, when he’d looked at you with that slightly annoyed expression as you had tried to set him up with other women. You recalled how he had gone off to that group of three women right before you’d abandoned the bar, how he had struck out on purpose just to satiate your nagging. “What’d you say to those women tonight?” You asked him curiously, furrowing your brows at him.
Spencer, in turn, arched his brows at you. “Why?”
“Because I’m curious,” you said as his fingers continued to trail, feather-light, up and down your arm. You traced your thumb along his jawline, stopping at his chin. “You were obviously blowing it on purpose.”
Spencer rolled his eyes. “I actually do have some game, despite what Morgan might say,” he said, his tone defensive.
You snickered. “Sure you do, Spence. Took you, what, eight months, to get me in your bed?”
Spencer shot a playful glare at you and pinched the skin on your arm. You squeaked in response and he just laughed. “I just asked them how they were doing tonight,” he said finally, and you knew just from the look on his face that he was lying.
“You did not,” you pushed back. “Come on, Reid, spill it.”
“Ok, fine,” Spencer heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes, sitting up in the bed, his back against the headboard. You sat up, too, looking at him with concern. Why was he so embarrassed? “I told them… Jesus.” Spencer rubbed the space between his brows with his thumb and his forefinger. “I told them I was here with a coworker that I had a massive crush on, and that you were trying to set me up with someone else,” he began.
You started to smile.
Spencer continued. “I told them that I had absolutely no interest in going home with anyone tonight, and that I had been purposefully striking out all night long because I couldn’t stand the thought of even trying to look at someone the way I look at you.”
Your smile grew and you moved to sit on your knees, inching closer to Spencer and throwing one leg over him, effectively straddling him against the mattress. “So I asked them,” Spencer continued, his lips turning slowly from an exasperated frown to a small smile. “I asked them if they could just look at me like I had said something stupid, and then I would leave them alone.”
“Did they say anything to that?” You asked as Spencer’s hands found your hips, contouring to match the curves into the small of your back.
Spencer’s voice got slightly lower, more serious, when he said, “The girl in the middle did. She said ‘that girl definitely has feelings for you, too’. And then they did what I asked, and I walked back over to you.”
“She did not say that,” you rolled your eyes, just as Spencer kissed your lips.
“I have an eidetic memory, Y/N,” he reminded you in a low whisper, as his lips lingered against yours. “Would I lie to you about that?”
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds#criminal minds spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fanfics#spencer reid x you#basketonthedoorstepofthefbi#fanfic#spencer reid x fem!reader
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OMG!! REQUESTS OPEN? hehe
Can I request the Chigiri + Kunigami version of "MY GIRL IS MAD AT ME, I HOPE I DIE." Series please? 🧎🏻♀️
I LOVE IT SO MUCH I'M GIGGLING EVERYTIME I READ IT FRFR xD
Also, have a good day 😌✨
[PART4] MY GIRL IS MAD AT ME, I HOPE I DIE.
characters: chigiri, kunigami, oliver, shidou, kurona, yukimiya
a/n: hi lovelies! here's your requests done<333
CHIGIRI HYOMA
hyoma stood by the door, his eyes focused on you as you sat on the couch, pointedly ignoring him. the silent treatment was in full effect, and it was eating at him.
he quietly walked over, sitting down beside you, keeping a respectful distance. “i know you’re mad,” he began softly, his voice gentle, “and i probably deserve this.”
you didn’t look at him, your attention fixed on the magazine in your hands. chigiri sighed, running a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to reach you.
“i hate it when we’re like this,” he admitted, the usual confidence in his tone replaced by sincerity. “i know i messed up, but i’m here. i’m not going anywhere.”
you shifted slightly, but your eyes remained glued to the page. chigiri leaned in a little closer, careful not to crowd you. “i just want to fix this, to make things right again. i’ll wait as long as it takes for you to talk to me.”
still no response, but the tension in your posture seemed to ease ever so slightly. chigiri took a deep breath, willing to wait for however long you needed, because he cared too much to leave things as they were.
he stayed by your side, a silent promise that he wouldn’t give up on you.
KUNIGAMI RENSUKE
you stood by the kitchen sink, your back to kunigami. the silence between you two was heavy, and you were determined to keep it that way. after all, he had been late—again—leaving you waiting in the rain. you weren’t ready to forgive him just yet.
kunigami stood in the doorway, his eyes on you. “i’m sorry,” he said softly, but you didn’t turn around.
he sighed, then walked up behind you, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. you shrugged it off, still refusing to speak.
kunigami took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. he knew he’d messed up, but seeing you so distant hurt more than he expected.
he placed his hand on your shoulder again, this time with a bit more persistence. “please, just talk to me.”
you turned slowly to face him, your expression a mix of frustration and sadness. kunigami's eyes softened as he looked at you, his voice even softer. “i know i’ve been unreliable. i’m sorry for letting you down, and i don’t have an excuse. but i want to make it right. i’ll do whatever it takes to show you i can change.”
you could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it made your resolve waver. so you silently opened your arms, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.
OLIVER AIKU
you were mad—furious with your boyfriend. oliver aiku had pushed your buttons one too many times, and now you were giving him the silent treatment.
sitting on the edge of the bed, your eyes were glued to your phone, deliberately avoiding any acknowledgment of him. the room was thick with tension, and every second seemed to stretch longer than the last. oliver’s footsteps were hesitant as he approached, his presence nearly tangible in the quiet air.
he knelt down beside you, his posture a mixture of apology and desperation. his expression was earnest, his eyes searching yours for any sign of forgiveness. “come on, please,” he murmured, his voice gentle yet laced with the weight of his remorse. “i’m really sorry.”
you shifted your gaze, still not meeting his eyes. the silence between you was almost deafening. undeterred, oliver’s hands moved slowly, starting to massage your legs with a delicate touch.
his voice was a constant murmur of apologies, an attempt to bridge the gap you had so carefully maintained. “i know i messed up, but please, just give me a chance to make it right.”
his hands inched higher, their warmth gradually becoming more insistent. your patience waned, and finally, you placed your foot on his shoulder, gently pushing him away. “watch your hands,” you said, your tone sharp and frosty.
oliver’s face fell, a mixture of regret and determination reflecting in his eyes. he remained on the floor, his gaze fixed on you with unwavering resolve. “i’ll wait until you’re ready to talk,” he said softly, “but i’m not going anywhere.”
SHIDOU RYUSEI
shidou leaned against the doorframe, watching you flip through a magazine, pretending not to notice him. he walked over, plopped down beside you, and started chatting about a game-winning goal, but you stayed silent, focused on your magazine.
leaning closer, he rested his chin on your shoulder. “you’re really cute when you’re mad,” he murmured.
you shifted, trying to get comfortable.
“i could keep talking about how much i adore you,” he said, “but i’ll just stay here until you give in.”
minutes passed, and you closed the magazine with a snap. you moved to the other end of the couch and turned on the tv. shidou watched you, smiling.
“silent treatment, huh?” he said. “i’m sorry, okay? i messed up, and i’ll keep messing up because i’m human, but i can’t stand it when you’re mad at me like this.”
you glanced at him briefly, and he saw it as a small victory. he slid closer, closing the gap between you. “i know you’re stubborn, and you’ve got every right to be. but i’m not going anywhere. i’ll wait until you’re ready to talk to me again.”
you stayed silent, but there was a softness in your posture. shidou stayed close, content to wait. the tv droned on in the background as you both settled into a quiet peace.
KURONA RANZE
you’ve been ignoring kurona for the better part of the day, and he knows it. usually, you’d laugh at him or at least respond when he calls your name, but today? it’s different. he can feel it. so, naturally, kurona decides to pull out all the stops to get you to break your silence.
it starts with the little things. he brings you your favorite snack, placing it on the table next to you with a sheepish grin. but you don’t even glance his way. next, he tries to make fun of himself to get you to laugh—juggling random items he finds around the room, almost dropping one just to see if you’ll react. nothing. you stay focused on your book, or at least pretend to be.
kurona huffs, finally getting serious. he slips out of the room, mumbling something about needing fresh air.
when he comes back, he’s carrying something behind his back, his expression one of pure determination. he takes a deep breath and walks over to where you’re sitting on the couch, still glued to your phone.
he pulls out a giant shark plushie from behind his back. it’s soft and kind of goofy-looking. "shark shark," he says, grabbing your attention. "want to say sorry on my behalf,"
you try your best to ignore him, but kurona’s earnestness is too endearing.
“talk, talk,” he continues, wiggling the plushie closer to you.
you remain silent, but your resolve is starting to crack.
“he says he’s really sorry,” kurona persists, his tone now softer. “he didn’t mean to upset you, and he promises he’ll never do it again.”
YUKIMIYA KENYU
the kitchen smells like something went horribly wrong. yukimiya stands in the middle of the mess, looking at the charred remains of what was supposed to be your favorite dish. the counters are splattered with sauce, and the pan on the stove is emitting a thin wisp of smoke. he runs a hand through his hair, frustration mixing with guilt as he surveys the disaster.
he wanted to make it up to you, to do something special that would show how much he cared. but instead, he’s only made things worse.
you walk into the kitchen, your expression unreadable as you take in the scene. yukimiya freezes, eyes widening as you approach the counter. he watches as you grab a tissue, silently wiping at a particularly stubborn stain, your face void of emotion. the silent treatment you’ve been giving him continues, and it cuts deeper than any angry words ever could.
“hey,” yukimiya starts, his voice tentative, filled with regret. “i’m…i’m so sorry.”
you don’t acknowledge him. you just keep wiping the counter, your movements slow and deliberate, as if focusing on the task is the only thing keeping you from saying something you might regret.
“i’m sorry for messing up the kitchen,” he adds, trying to make you look at him, desperate for any sign that you’re willing to talk to him. “and...i’m sorry for everything else, too. i didn’t mean for things to go this way.”
but you remain silent. yukimiya’s heart sinks as he watches you finish wiping the counter. you set the crumpled tissue down and, without a word, turn to leave the kitchen. his chest tightens as he watches you go, feeling like he’s losing you all over again.
as you disappear into the hallway, heading towards your bedroom, yukimiya lets out a long sigh. he leans against the counter, staring at the mess he’s made, both in the kitchen and between the two of you. he’s about to start cleaning up when his phone buzzes with a notification.
pulling it out of his pocket, he sees a text from you. his breath catches in his throat as he reads it:
'dinner. your treat.'
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