#my respect for men just skyrocketed

[aahanna]

Maut ko touch krke wapis nikali hu 🥲

"Today, our family's outing for darshan took an unexpected turn when our car got stuck in a ditch due to the slippery roads. Fortunately, no one was hurt, and we were fortunate to receive help from a group of 15 men who were also returning from the temple. They went above and beyond, calling the authorities and a tow truck, and keeping us company for about four hours. Their selflessness and kindness left me in awe, and I gained a newfound appreciation for the goodness in people. They were truly like angels sent by God, and we were grateful when our car was finally retrieved safely."

[mytheoristavenue]

DS Kyojuro Rengoku x Reader 🍋 - Something In The Air

Kinktober 2024 - II

Sex pollen + public sex

Summary: You've been training to go out for missions with Rengoku for ages, but nothing could have prepared you to have a demon with the power to stimulate arousal- in the middle of a crowded market, no less!

Warnings: Sex pollen trope, public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, fem!reader, breeding, rushed/short, fluffy ending, pregnancy, Senjuro mentioned, mentor x mentee dynamic at first

You could hardly contain your enthusiasm, you'd trained for what felt like forever in order to have the privilege of accompanying hashiras on missions. Today was finally the day of your first one and you couldn't be more excited to show off what you could do- especially to the man walking beside you. You'd admired Rengoku ever since meeting him shortly after final selection and it was only natural that that respect would grow into attraction the more you got to know him.

Currently, he led you to a bustling trade village, home to a well-known market which many people tended to come far distances to attend. He was rattling off lists of why this market was so special, and you were trying to listen in earnest, but you couldn't focus, too stuck on some sweet smell that had suddenly hit your nose. Apparently, he smelled it too.

"I love coming to this market," He smiled over his shoulder at you. "It's a long pathway, filled with all things tasty." You couldn't help but giggle at his sunny disposition, feeling even more fond of him than you usually did. "Though, I've never smelt this scent before, one of the vendors must have something new to offer. We should try it before we leave, providing the demon doesn't cause too much damage to the surrounding area, of course."

You nodded with a shy smile, catching up to him as the village came into view. Dusk was beginning to settle in and the many lights of the town were starting to flicker on. It was like watching the market awaken over the horizon, casting a lovely amber glow over the pair of you.

As you drew nearer, that smell persisted, gaining potency with every step. The saccharine aroma began to overwhelm your senses as you approach the village gate, so you decided to pick up the conversation, hoping to distract yourself. "So, do we know anything about this demon?"

Rengoku thought for a moment before smiling again. "I took the time to do some reconanance before this trip," He began, slowing his pace so you could walk side by side with him with less issue. "It would appear this demon is match maker."

"A match maker?" You repeated curiously. "Like someone who arranges marriages?"

"Precisely." He replied with a proud grin. "According to locals, marriage and birth rates in this area have skyrocketed over the last decade."

"Isn't that a good thing?" You tilted your head up to look at him, something that made his heart skip a beat. "What's so bad about people falling in love?"

"Love is a human emotion, it's not something that a demon can feel or replicate." He explained, quickly regaining his composure. "So what these people are experiencing is just an intense, prolonged infatuation, they're not actually falling in love. The effects seem to wear off after about a year, or when stress is introduced to the relationship."

"And babies can be quite stressful," You finish his thought, filling him with pride at your intuitiveness. "And divorce isn't legal in Japan, so these people are just stuck in loveless marriages. How awful! Why would any demon do this, just toy with people's hearts?"

"It would seem the children of these unions have been going missing," Rengoku reveals, suddenly turning serious. "It's possible one of the reasons is to cultivate a lasting food source." You were horrified, to say the least. Interfering with the hearts of men, eating children? Just how evil was this demon? "Don't fret, my dear," His voice suddenly pulled you out of your thoughts, charming and full of tender confidence. "Together, you and I will slay this demon and free this village from its torment."

"And what about the couples affected by it?" You asked quietly, thoughts flooding back in quicker than he could dispel them.

"We can only hope that they'll genuinely fall in love through bonding over their shared experience." His smile faded a bit upon realizing he couldn't fully put you at ease, but was somewhat relieved when you asked a slightly unrelated question.

"So, how will we know when we find this demon or their work?" You asked curiously, tilting your head up at him again. This time, not only did his heart skip a beat, but he also felt heat pool in his belly. It must be some sort of anxiety for the battle ahead, he decided.

"Rumor has it that the demon puts off a distinct smell that's been likened to sugared flower-" Suddenly, he paused, pale as he swallowed dryly. "Petals..." How could he be so naive? That heavenly aroma was never a new type of pastry sold at the market. He'd lead you both into a trap. "Plug your nose, now."

You stiffened as his tone suddenly turned sharp and you wondered if you'd angered him, raising your hand to cover your nose with your haori sleeve. "Mr. Rengoku is everything-"

"Hold your breath." His command killed the words on your lips and you sucked in a deep breath, holding it in your cheeks as you followed him into the village.

Rengoku's mind raced. Had the power already begun to take effect, or did he have time? Was there an antidote or some way to dull the reaction? In the back of his mind, he knew it was too late, he could smell it for miles back, God knows how long you'd both been exposed. A tug at his sleeve stopped him dead in his tracks and his thoughts shattered like glass. Looking back at you stalled him like a car with a ruined transmission.

You looked like an absolute mess. Cheeks red and burning, eyes tired and submissive with brows knitted upwards. Had your lower face not been obscured, he would have seen the drool dripping down your chin.

"S-Sir, I don't feel well..." You confessed timidly, hoping he wouldn't look down on you too harshly. Instead, he softened, pulling you close with a hand on the small of your back, pushing his needs aside in favor of yours. "You're going to be just fine, my dear, I swear it." He reassured though he wasn't sure if even he believed it to be true.

He led you through the bustling market, expertly dodging pedestrians and obstacles alike, before pulling you into an alleyway to explain things more privately. "Don't be alarmed, everything will be alright." He started, resting you against the wall. "I believe we've been poisoned by the demon's scent, but rest assured, my intentions are pure." Nothing could have possibly made you think otherwise, you were so enchanted with him. "I fear this reaction could have dire consequences for us if we don't find a way to satiate it, but I swear to you, I will not waiver in my convictions. You are safe with me."

He almost seemed stressed, trying to convince you that he was trustworthy. You never would have thought otherwise, but it seemed like he was losing trust in himself. The longer he looked at you, the worse he ached. You looked positively disheveled, breath ragged, hair beginning to fall from your pin. He couldn't stop himself from wondering how much more of a mess he could turn you into.

You began to grow disappointed with his rocksteady refusal to give in. A part of you was excited by the situation, by the thought of the object of your admiration claiming you in a dark alleyway, feet away from civilization. Another part of you worried that suggesting you satiate the need might make you look cheap to him. None of it mattered, though, because he had already began to run on fumes, his body inching closer before his mind could tell it to stop.

His lips crashed to yours like a speeding car, all firey need and firm pressure. Before you could pull him closer, he tore away from you, wiping your taste from his mouth. "F-Forgive me, my dear!" He stammered, horrified with himself for giving in so easily. "M-My body reacted on instinct, it won't happen again!" He swore, beginning to tremble. Your response made his blood run cold, blazing eyes becoming even more owlish.

"It won't...?" Your tone dripped with sugar and disappointment, only one of which he'd normally seek out in you, but in this moment, both tasted the same. "If we've been put under the demon's influence, does that not make us...matched?"

"Matched?" He repeated dumbly, despite knowing all too well what the word entailed. He wanted to hear you explain it.

"If this demon matches individuals together for marriage and conception via this sweet smell..." You trailed almost seductively. "And the pair of us have been exposed, and are only in need of one another, does that not stand to reason that...we have been matched together?"

"I-I suppose it does," He admitted, swallowing dryly. "But we are here to slay the demon, not fall under its enchantment."

You carefully pushed away from the wall, leaning against his chest for support, prompting him to wrap you up in his embrace for the sake of your stability. "Are you not enchanted?" You whisper, dazed and desperate.

"I-I am." He trembled, holding you tight to his chest. "But enchantment be damned, I would never force myself upon you for any reason."

"What if I asked you to?" You giggled drunkenly, nuzzling into his uniform.

"A-Asked me to do what, my dear?" He swallowed, already knowing what you'd say. He desperately tried to convince himself to hold steadfast, that you were unconsenting to his whims, but how could he go on when you were throwing yourself at him?

"Take me, Kyojuro." You cooed, calling him out by name for the very first time. The way his given name rolled off your tongue sent shivers down his spine and he could no longer deny the inevitable.

"M-My dear, you mustn't tempt me..." He warned lowly, bushy brown twitching with restraint. "I-I may not be able to resist you much longer."

"I'm counting on it," You confessed, leaning up and pressing a gentle kiss to his Adam's apple. The moment your lips graced his skin, his resolve gave way like unsteady ground and you were pressed against the wall again. One shaky hand held your chin still and the other dove for your belt, eager to unobscure your lower half to the cold night air.

Hardly any words were spoken between the two of you, but there was a silent understanding between you both as he shimmied your uniform trousers down, your hands pawing at this belt buckle all the while. The moment was clumsy and escalated to a fever pitch almost immediately, but it was also passionate and driven by something other than the toxin in the air- something mutual that had always been there.

Once your trousers were far enough down your thighs where he could access you, and his erection was free, he immediately hoisted you up against the wall, holding you there with his upper body strength alone, pressing your knees into your collarbone. The ache in your core became soothed instantly when he came into contact with it, spit-slicked fingers coaxing it gently before briefly dipping inside. His fingers parted inside you, in a vain attempt to prepare you for breach.

Within minutes, Rengoku was sinking into you, a soft, almost pained sigh escaping him as his forehead dropped to rest on your shoulder. Like an antidote, the soreness inside you was eased, massaged away by his tedious pace and hot, breathy praise. "D-Divine..." He murmured into the cook of your neck, bottoming out time after time, patiently working a rhythm into motion.

He was so much more than you'd imagined, in all ways. Longer, thicker, gentler, more passionate. Nothing could have ever prepared you to finally have him in all his desperate glory, but here you were, trapped between him and a hard place with nowhere you'd rather be.

You couldn't think on that in the moment, though, too overwhelmed by the feeling in your hypersensitive state. Just his steady pace was enough to drive you both mad, whispering near silent worship to each other, hooked together like puzzle pieces. He held you so close, you felt like one being, as his hips lazily rolled into yours, not needing more than that to come close.

Judging by the tension leading up to this moment, you'd imagined he'd ravage you right there in the alleyway, but that isn't what happened. When Rengoku claimed you, he did it as softly as he could, his touch filled with affection and care, as if he were handling a glass figuring, centuries old. The throws of passion overwhelmed you so much that, you hardly even noticed when his tenderness had brought you to the edge, pushing you into the void with a sweet kiss and a whispered "I love you, my dear."

Sensing your undoing by how tightly you constricted him, his eyes squeezed shut, quivering lips peppering kisses to what little of your neck was exposed, repeating his confession however many times he felt it needed to be said. He never ceased his romantic chant as he stalled inside you, spilling what all he had to give, hips straining to keep moving, as if driven by the carnal need to plant life.

After the pair of you were spent, he continued to hold you just like that, reluctant to withdraw from you for fear that the fertilization may not take. Afterward, though, Rengoku began to feel the fog clear from his mind, plastering a confident smile on his face as he gently set you down and helped you redress. Now that he'd faced this hurdle, he was confident that slaying this demon would be easy. It was the consequences of the spell which would be challenging, or so he thought.

-----

"Kyo," You called sweetly from the garden of his family home, led down the pathway by his sweet younger brother. Rengoku beamed at you, returning home from another long mission to his beautiful wife on maternity leave. Your belly was round and full and your gait was reduced to an unsteady waddle, but luckily, Senjuro was unwilling to leave your side until his brother was there to relieve his duties.

"My match," He cooed, dropping his sword and bag to run to you, happily peppering kisses on your face. "You're positively glowing, how are you?"

"I'm wonderful, darling, how are you?" You answered sweetly, pecking his cheek.

"Over the moon," He replied, crouching down to press a kiss to your swollen tummy. "How is our little flame?"

"Never better, thanks to Sen," You laugh lighthearted, reaching out to the boy, who had stepped away, pulling him into your side. "He's taken good care of me since you've been away."

"Have you, now?" Rengoku's eyes lit up even further, standing to place a hand on his brother's shoulder. "You're growing into a fine young man, Senjuro."

The boy's timid features softened at your combined praises, and he pressed his face into your stomach, hugging you both tightly. "I can't wait to meet my niece..."

[thefunkfactory]

Sam Zia

Sam Zia had it all. Chiseled jawline, a body carved from years of dedication in the gym, and a TikTok following of millions who worshipped his advice on masculinity, self-improvement, and how to be an alpha male. He preached discipline, hygiene, and success. His fans saw him as the ultimate peak of male perfection.

But one day, everything changed.

It started subtly. Sam, always precise about his diet, began experimenting with the bulk. Not the clean, protein-packed meals he used to swear by, but the dirty, greasy, carb-heavy food that promised quick mass at the expense of digestion. Burgers, protein shakes overloaded with questionable powders, and eggs—dozens of eggs—became his daily fuel.

At first, he felt invincible. His muscles swelled, his energy skyrocketed… but then, a dark force emerged from within. His stomach began to rebel. Gurgling. Churning. And then—the gas.

At first, he tried to suppress it, maintaining his polished alpha image. But then, mid-TikTok live, it happened.

“Yo, fellas, if you wanna be a REAL man, you gotta—” PFFFFFRRRRTT

A deep, reverberating blast escaped him, loud enough to rattle his chair. He froze. His perfectly sculpted face turned a shade of red he hadn’t seen since his first squat failure.

He expected embarrassment. He expected people to call him out.

Instead? The video went viral.

Comments flooded in:

“Bro is so alpha he doesn’t even care.”

“That was the most masculine fart I’ve ever heard.”

“Real men embrace their natural odors.”

And just like that, a new ideology was born.

It started with one video, but Sam, ever the influencer, knew when to capitalize on momentum. The next day, he posted:

“Men today are too obsessed with being ‘clean’ and ‘proper.’ You think our ancestors cared about showers? Nah, they were out there, fighting mammoths, reeking of strength and dominance. Hygiene is a scam. If you smell bad, it means you’re working hard.”

And the crowd ate it up.

Sam leaned in harder. His once pristine, cologne-spritzed gym clothes became stained tanks with unidentified smears. His showers? Less frequent. His grooming? Nonexistent. His content? A full-on campaign to make men embrace their primal state.

“Ditch the deodorant. Stop washing your gym shorts. Embrace the stench.”

And the most legendary part? The farts.

Sam stopped holding them in. If anything, he turned them into a symbol of raw, unfiltered manliness. Every TikTok featured at least one unholy release, accompanied by a smug smirk. His comments turned into a brotherhood of stink.

“Sam, I took your advice. Haven’t washed in two weeks. My girl left me, but I feel powerful.”

“Dude, I farted in my gym and cleared out the weaklings. Only real men remained.”

“A guy at work told me to wear deodorant, so I quit my job. Thanks for the wisdom, king.”

Sam’s influence was undeniable. Gyms nationwide reported an increase in noxious odors. Deodorant companies saw stocks plummet. High-protein, fiber-loaded diets surged in popularity, not for their muscle-building benefits, but for their ability to fuel the movement.

Even brands took notice. Soon, Sam had sponsorship deals—not for cologne or grooming kits, but for industrial-strength air fresheners (marketed for the weak) and bean-based meal plans.

One day, he posted his magnum opus:

“The real test of masculinity? Walk into a crowded elevator. Let it rip. Stand tall. Own it. If people leave, they’re weak. If they stay, they respect you.”

The challenge took off. #ZiaGasChallenge trended worldwide. Videos surfaced of men proudly fumigating locker rooms, parties, and even dates. The movement was unstoppable.

Sam had transformed completely. The man who once championed clean bulking, high-value grooming, and aesthetic perfection was now the undisputed King of the Stink Bros. He lived by his code:

• Laundry is for betas.

• Showers are optional.

• Farts are power.

His mansion, once pristine, now smelled like a mix of protein shakes, gym socks, and raw testosterone. His fans? More loyal than ever.

And as he sat back, inhaling his own toxic masterpiece, he smiled.

Because this? This was true masculinity.

[robinofgothamcity]

“I can show you that not all men are like that.”

Character: Damian Wayne/Robin

Authors note: most likely not reviewed for spelling errors or mistakes lmfao, this is more of a blurb tbh. In the middle of writing this, I caused a gigantic spill all over my side table and onto my carpet so I was over it lmfao. I’m sorry that it isn’t longer :( I hope all of you have a safe and exciting new years! Let’s hope 2025 treats everyone with happiness and respect <3

Being Jon’s best friend and longtime partner, it was easy to tell when Jon was distracted and other times, it was very easy to get distracted with him. Today was one of those days where you and Jon were just being menaces to everyone that was around the two of you. You had known Jon since you entered the league under Dinah’s wing. From that point, you and him stuck to each other which made it seem like the two of you were more of siblings than friends and when Damian walked into the picture, you knew that you hit a certain nerve every time you were being particularly loud and obnoxious.

You walked into the lair hoping that Jon would be there, under the guise of seeing if he had down some of the work done that the two of you shared for a college class. The two of you went to a local college in Smallville and even though you were both getting different degrees, required classes had the two of you stuck in general English class together.

“Damian!” You said as you noticed his boots at the door, “my lovely friend who admits to hating me but secretly doesn’t!” You sang as you walked into the common area. You saw that him looking through his computer, half annoyed and angry.

“Where’s Jon, I need him,” you finally said. Damian pointed at the computer that showed that Jon was out on a mission to which he didn’t tell either of you, “that little fucking rat, are you kidding me?” You said rhetorically, “he didn’t tell he was out on a mission for an entire week! We were assigned as partners this week,” you added on.

Damian scoffed, “who do you think got assigned to Gotham until he returns?” You pushed him out of the way as you read that you were assigned to do patrols with Damian until Jon came back to help you patrol Smallville. You stomped on the ground like an angry toddler realizing you’d be out of your house all week, “I could cry, who assigned me here and why didn’t they think to tell me?” You asked. Damian giggled as you realized that Jon must’ve put you in his place until he came back.

“Well, I guess I have to hang around here all week,” you said in a huff, “gut I guess there’s one good thing about this, you’ll be stuck with me!” You added as you turned around to Damian and started giggling.

By that point, Bart and Cassie walked in as she ran over to you, “did you go on the date with that guy from your accounting class?” She asked as she practically dragged you to the couch, “yeah but it was a blow. The typical college guy as you can expect except this time, the moron decided it’d be a good idea to leave me the bill from dinner and not come back.”

Damian, Bart, and Jaime who had walked down the stairs a few moments before stared at you in shock.

“What? I never said that my love life was skyrocketing in success,” you said in annoyance. Damian put his hand up to pause you, “you’re meaning to tell me the guy left you with the bill and left without a goodbye?” You nodded in agreement, still confused as to what he was trying to insinuate, “and this normal?”

You thought for a moment, “well, the last two guys, one stood me up before I could go on the date and the other guy ghosted me at the restaurant so technically this is a first for me,” you recalled. The boys, who were now hanging their heads in disappointment couldn’t help but sigh, “listen, this conversation was between Cas and I. Why are all of you so interested now?” You asked, popping in a piece of candy Bart had left on the table.

Cassie rolled her eyes as she looked back at you, “Well, what about Jon’s friend? Weren’t the two of you just texting?” You rolled your eyes, “he’s a nice guy but definitely just a friend. I think I’m doomed and there’s no love in my future.”

Before anyone else could say anything, your communicators had went off indicating that you and Damian were now scheduled to patrol. You went over to Damian and jumped on his back, instantly getting a shout from the boy, “do you ever think she’ll realize that Damian likes her?” Bart asked Cassie. Cassie laughed dramatically, “not in a million years unless something or someone makes it click in her head.”

-

It wasn’t often that you and Damian patrolled together and the times that you did, Jon was usually came along. You didn’t hate Damian but you could tell that he wasn’t exactly your biggest fan. You wondered if this was because of your relationship with Jon or if you were just too loud and obnoxious for his liking. You knew Damian barely tolerated Jon at first but the two of you had known each other for years now and it definitely seemed like there was a dislike from Damian to you.

“So, you go any other unfortunate dates to share to the class?” Damian mocked. You rolled your eyes, not in the mood to deal with his obnoxious attitude, “well, not that I’d ever share that with you but yes I do. I have a case of bad luck in the romance department,” you admitted hoping that he’d get off your case.

Damian didn’t say a thing for a moment.

“Well, what’s the worse?” He asked. You thought a few minutes until you started laughing in embarrassment and slight annoyance, “well, I can see why you’d make fun of me for this but I think the worst date I ever went on was last year. I matched with a guy on this app and we went out to dinner only for the idiot to not realize that his girlfriend’s best friend worked at the restaurant. In my defense, I clearly didn’t realize that he was cheating on her with me so you can imagine the look I had on my face when the girl smacked him and proceeded to berate him in front of the entire restaurant.”

Damian stared at you in shock, not really knowing what to say.

“I thankfully got off lucky when I told her that I didn’t know he was cheating but it was still embarrassing nonetheless,” you continued. Damian looked into the alley, hoping that no one heard what he was about to say. Damian sighed knowing what he was about to say was coming out like word vomit, “well, I can show you that not all men are like that.”

You gave him a look of confusion.

“Listen, I know I haven’t been the nicest to you and you’re not that stupid to not realize it,” you flicked him in the forehead as he continued, “but I figured I’d rather be the one to show you that some men are actually good out there.”

“Wait, this isn’t you pitying me, is it? Because if it is, I’m going to kick you ass,” you said taking out your baton and swinging it in the air. Damian lowered the baton and gave you a sincere look, “I’m not kidding. Tomorrow after patrol, we can switch shift with Tim and Steph and I’ll take you out.”

You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief.

“If you end up backing out last minute, Batman is going to be down a son.”

Damian flicked you on the forehead as he assured you that this time, maybe you weren’t going to be so unlucky.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Compromising Positions: Part Three

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Summary: An unsub is targeting and killing married couples, and you and Spencer go undercover in hopes of drawing out the unsub. Not only does it not work, but it opens a can of worms you don't think Spencer is ready to open.

Season Six Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

The unsub did strike last night, and Rossi and Hotch are the first ones at the crime scene. The rest of the team arrives shortly after, and you look at Spencer in thought. He hasn't mentioned the whole marriage thing and you're not going to bring it up now. You don't want to make him uncomfortable especially if he's not ready for marriage. You love Spencer and you'd do anything for him but you're not going to rush him into anything.

You and Spencer arrive at the house that's been sectioned off with police tape.

"We came as quick as we could. The unsub shot both victims last night?"

"Yeah, the housekeeper found them this morning. His routine was disrupted. That means he made a mistake. It also means he's out of control. He's enraged. He's going to attack again soon."

"Who are the victims?"

"Paul and Debra Wilson. He was a spinal surgeon, an alpha male just like the others."

The coroners wheel out the bodies from the house but Spencer stops them. You peel back the curtain to get a better look at his wounds when you gasp.

"Spencer, look. They're the couple we talked to last night."

That means the unsub was watching them. He was at that bar and you didn't even know it. He could have chosen you and Spencer which is a scary thought in and of itself. Spencer peels back the sheet from the legs just as you put the sheet back over Paul's head.

"Look at the offensive and defensive wounds all over his body. He was cuffed behind his back. He still put up a fight because he knew how. Look. The wounds extend from his knees to the soles of his feet."

"That's full-contact training. Now, where would he learn something like that?

"My assumption would be a mixed martial arts gym. MMA has skyrocketed among the men who want the most intense fighting possible which our unsub would. It could be where he's finding his victims."

"I'll follow up with the families," Spencer offers.

Spencer barely looks at you and walks away, and you sigh.

"What's up with him?"

"We had to pretend to be a married couple last night. Hotch thought it would help draw out the unsub. I know it made him nervous and uncomfortable but I didn't know it would get to him this bad. I just hope he knows I don't expect anything from him. We've been together for four years now. I'd never rush him into anything he doesn't want to do. Do I want to marry him? Of course. Do I want to force him into it because I want it? No."

"He'll snap out of it. Just give him some space and talk to him about it when he's ready."

You smile at Rossi and head inside the bedroom where Derek and Emily are. You step into the bedroom and are immediately sucked into the events of last night. Paul is tied and lying on the ground by the desk drawer while Debra is sitting on the chair on the other side of the room. You feel the unsub's presence behind you without seeing that he's there. The man, using insane skill, manages to fight the unsub while his hands are handcuffed behind his back. He protects his wife like a husband should and ends up getting shot because of it.

You turn to the wife who wants to cry but knows she shouldn't if she wants to get out of this alive. She walks over to the unsub and tries to play along to his fantasy. It makes sense to try that. If she gives him what he wants, he might let her go. There is a gun in the desk drawer that both of them were trying to get to but ultimately failed. 

He shoots her, too.

You tell Derek and Emily exactly what you saw.

"Upon first glance, you might think that she'd tried to use the gun which forced the unsub to shoot her, but there was a muzzle burn on her chest. He shot her at point-blank range. She wanted to get to the gun but knew he wouldn't allow her to go to it. She played along hoping he'd let down her guard but ended up shooting her instead."

"Why would she do that? Why not lock herself in the bathroom or run out the door?" Emily asks.

"Survival isn't logical, it's instinctual. Her instincts probably told her that this was her best shot."

"Okay, she's telling herself she's gonna do whatever is necessary to get out of this alive. So, she's just seen her husband die in front of her. Then, she comes on to the unsub like an overt sexual expression."

"It's almost flexible. She's gone from one man to the next without hesitation," you say. "He makes the husband wear a condom. What does that say about him?"

"Maybe he's protecting himself? It's a sexual scenario where you're sharing a woman with another man."

"Could this guy be a swinger?" you ask.

"He could have been a part of that scene until the impotence kicked in. Now, he's just trying to recreate it. These couples could have been his old partners."

"I'll Penelope on it."

According to Penelope, Only Paul trained at an MMA gym while the other husbands worked out regularly from the local YMCA to expensive fitness clubs. It makes sense since alpha males care about their appearance, and the gym is a good place to stalk victims. While it doesn't tell you how the unsub goes from finding husbands in a gym to getting inside their house, it does give you a list from which you can eliminate options.

The one thing you're worried about is the unsub might be hunting tonight since his routine was messed up with Paul and Debra. Penelope not only has to look at employees and members of all the gyms and health clubs but also outside vendors, maintenance, trainers, and just about everyone who even walks past the place.

On top of all that, Penelope is also cataloging the husbands' records but keeps getting delayed by family members calling back, and cops with questions, and she is also looking into swing clubs because you asked her to. They're not but it doesn't hurt to look into that avenue because the unsub might be into it.

You feel bad for Penelope for having all this pressure on her to get both her and JJ's job done but you know she can do it if she goes about it her way and not JJ's way.

"So, what's going on with you and Pretty Boy?" Derek asks.

"I don't know," you sigh. "Last night, Hotch asked me and Spencer to go out and pose as a married couple. He thought it would be enough to draw the unsub out. We met this older couple, Paul and Debra, and she overheard us flaunting our one-year anniversary. She asked how he proposed and he told her this beautiful story."

"What's the issue?"

"I think it scared him."

"Why?"

"He can't even look at me. When we got to Paul's house this morning, he couldn't even look me in the eyes. We've been together for four years but I don't know if he's ready or not for that commitment, which is fine. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. He was kind of put on the spot."

"If there is one thing I know about that kid, he doesn't take steps lightly. He tells you everything so if he's truly uncomfortable, he'll let you know. I think he's just nervous."

"Yeah, maybe."

You, Derek, and Emily arrive at a woman's house who ran a swinger's club in the area recently and knows you're coming. You knock on the door and an older woman answers the door who looks to be in her forties.

"Hi, I'm Special Agent Prentiss. This is Special Agent Morgan and Y/N. We're with the FBI. We heard that you ran Fabulous Fun and Over 40?"

"This is the house. I'm Amy." She nods. "The FBI is here!" She opens the door wider. "Oh, come in."

"Thank you."

You three walk inside and are brought to the living room where the woman and her husband are. If this house is a host for swinger's parties, then it's during the off hours you came in. After you briefly tell her the situation at hand, you deliver the profile that Hotch is giving to the police back at the station.

"This unsub is an emasculated alpha male with a near obsessive-compulsive level of control in his behavior. Because of the repetition of details at the crime scenes, we know that his ritual is essential to him. These patterns are how he maintains dominance in a world he feels powerless in, both sexually and socially," you begin.

"The man we're looking for is a troilist."

"What is that?" Amy asks.

"It means that he gets off on staging a scene and participating in it such as recording sexual acts on camera or coming to parties like yours. The point is the performance."

"Do you know who his partner is?" Amy asks her husband.

"Partner?"

"When he comes to the parties, he has to bring a female companion or he wouldn't get in the door," Phil explains.

"See, swing clubs are a matriarchy. My primary goal as a hostess is to make sure other women feel safe and secure. There has to be at least as many women as men."

"We hadn't considered that," you mutter to Derek.

"What else do you know about him?" Amy asks.

"Paul Wilson's attack showed him how physically weak he was, and Debra Wilson's enticement reminded him of how futile his fantasies were. As a result of this, this unsub is what we call decompensating."

"What does that mean?"

"We use it to describe the collapse of OCD patterns that mentally ill patients use to cope. Once one fails, they generally all do. In this case, the unsub's ritualized fantasy has stopped working, making him incredibly dangerous."

"What was his fantasy?"

"Two men, one woman. How would that work?"

"First, he comes in with his female companion. Next, he'd likely invite a man in," Phil explains.

"Wait a minute. This guy is an alpha male. Wouldn't he be too possessive to share his partner?"

"Not unless he was married."

"Why married?"

"The erotic charge of the roleplay is the consensual cheating. You don't control a girlfriend the way you control a wife, essentially."

"It makes sense," Phil says. "The husband chooses his wife's partner for her, usually not married. It makes the cheating hotter. At a certain point, he steps in. It shows his sexual superiority. He proves to the room and his wife that he's the only one who can satisfy her."

"Until his impotence destroyed his ability to do that," Emily adds. "Suddenly he's not the only one questioning his manhood, she is, too."

"What if she cheated on him or she left?"

"Either way, his wife was his first loss of control, and if he's decompensating, she's the pattern he'll attack next as part of his breakdown. Her or women like her. When he finds that the end result of decompensation is a temporary psychotic break, he'll revisit old patterns to see if they still work. When he finds that they don't, he'll be compelled to destroy them and anyone engaging in them."

Now that you've planted the seed of doubt in the swinger's community, you trust Amy and Phil to spread the word among their peers. You have no doubt that there are plenty of swinger's clubs that are happening all over town, and you just hope that none of them end in disaster.

They do and not in a way you are expecting.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/767347744265355264/things-i-hate-that-i-thought-were-tumblr?source=share

Anon, if at all possible, grow a beard. I know that's bad advice because you might not be able to go on HRT and might not even get good facial hair if you do, but if that is possible for you, absolutely wear a bit of scruff.

My beard is the only thing that's really changed about my looks since I was a college freshman. I'm 37 now, I started wearing a beard around age 30, and I still look 25. I can't even grow much on my cheeks, I just wear a small goatee and mustache.

And the amount of respect I got from random strangers and people I end up stuck with absolutely skyrocketed almost as soon as I stopped shaving.

I'm autistic and I used to be treated as a freak and a weirdo and everyone made it very clear that I was Doing Gender Wrong. I was also treated like an idiot child.

But now I'm not only treated like a man, but like an adult. The infantilization is completely gone in person even though people guess my age to be exactly the same (it's still there online and in other contexts where people can't see my face, so I know it's the beard, not my mannerisms or method of communication, that makes people treat me like I'm not 5). The autistic traits are less commonly pointed out and when they are they're more likelt to be pointed out as neutrally weird things rather than as terrible social failures which must be corrected.

I dress the same, I act the same, I talk the same, my social skills haven't improved in the slightest since I actually was 25. But one minor fashion choice makes people treat me like an entirely different person.

It sucks, it's stupid. It's straight up toxic masculinity. I want to dismantle whatever gendered ideas are making people respect me simply because I don't shave my chin.

But in the meantime, take any basic human decency you can get. It'll be better for one guy to get through a college course without being misgendered and infantilized to his face than it will be for him to set some example of how men don't need to have beards to be real people.

It's extra stupid because cis men who aren't autistic and who perform gender in a way that readers correctly to randos can wear as little facial hair as they want and still be correctly gendered and treated like adults, but autistic men and trans men and men who like to wear lace and any other types of men who aren't "normal" don't get that default basic human decency.

But apparently a stupid little goatee can steamroll over a giant pile of toxic masculinity and transphobia and ableism. Use it if you got it.

--

[happybirthdaydarling]

actually miss the girlboss era of feminism. sick of seeing my younger cousins talking about girl math and wishing they didn’t have to work and stupid stay at home girlfriend shit and tradwife propaganda being turned into faux “anti capitalist” critiques it’s infuriating

sorry I LIKE making good money I LIKE buying my own shit I LIKE treating my mother when I go out for dinner I LIKE wearing tailored pants and collared shirts and running meetings with men twice my age I LIKE being respected I LIKE being a “boss bitch”

do I like having to work an arbitrary 8 hours a day? no of course not. do I like how rent prices are skyrocketing? no of course not. do I like commuting to work 3x a week? no of course not.

super interesting that being a woman in power or even acknowledging that it feels GOOD to succeed on your own became “cringe” and “capitalist bootlicking” but men are still in power everywhere in the world and I don’t see media encouraging men to just be dumb little baby boys instead of “working for the man”

[scrumptioussweetheart]

If you are under 18, LEAVE! GET! SHOO! If I catch you, you’re blocked! If you don't have your age on your blog? Blocked! Anyone above 18, please see below:

Hi! I’m Doll, 30's, nb lesbian ( they/them, she/her in fantasy kink settings) with some fun, new kinks, which shouldn’t be that shocking considered where we are. I know this is all fantasy, I’m not actually straight, but if we’re getting off together using kink, I don’t mind who you are. Don’t actually try to correct me, this is fantasy for a reason. I keep my real life separate from this kind of thing, so please don’t ask or try to convince me to do anything like use my real name, etc, please?

I’d love to interact with men, women, and anyone in between, or outside the gender binary, just let me know pronouns if they aren’t on your blog, and don’t be afraid to remind me, even in the heat of the moment.

current kinks I’m into: bimbofication, brainwashing, orientation play, forced correction, dirty talking, mind control, humiliation, but in the sweet way? Hypnosis, dom/sub, edging, light choking, light patriarchy kink, breeding kink, light hucow, somno, will add more as needed.

Things I am NOT into: ANYTHING bathroom related, food/belly kink, vomit, core, snuff, hard degradation, no hateful name calling, asphyxiation (I’ll choke on cock for a bit, but don’t put your hands on my throat), anal(unless I say otherwise), feet, and I’ll add more when I come across them, so please be respectful.

I’m here to get off/edge and help everyone have a good time when I’m horny, so 😘

Pictures! I’m happy to show off my boobs and pussy now, because woof, my self confidence has skyrocketed thanks to y'all. Just no full face or body pics!

[puckish-rogue-archive-deux]

Lore Dump: The Chairmen

Note: The Chairmen is a concept that I've been playing around with in my head for some time now, and was made in order to expand on my own interpretation of the SR universe given that the original series has been done with for some time now. I would also like to clarify that while this is going to be a somewhat brief summary and work off of vague ideas, please expect this post to be expanded upon at some point in the future once I've fleshed out more ideas. Additionally, I would also like to encourage anyone reading this, who may be interested in having crossover threads with The Boss and my version of SR, to incorporate The Chairmen in one way or another if that's something that happens to interest you. All I ask is for you to talk to me about these ideas, and to just have fun with it.

Many decades ago, during what some may consider the golden age of organized crime, a handful of gang leader's—all fairly powerful in their own right—had come together inside of a bar in order to discuss growing concerns they had over the state of the criminal underworld. Not only had it become quite hard to maintain their respective businesses, what with the increased presence of law enforcement cracking down on seemingly anything they did. But the need to adapt to an ever-changing world had led to many of them questioning just how long they could keep their very young empires afloat.

So, after what seemed to be hours worth of discussions, and several rounds of drinks, these men had all come to the conclusion that if any of them were to pursue their lofty ambitions, it would be wise of them to set aside whatever differences they may have and work together. This would prove itself to be mutually beneficial not only in the sense of strength by numbers, but connections, profits, and most of all an increase in power would skyrocket as well.

The Chairmen is what they would name themselves later on in life as they began to amass more and more into their fold. To the point where, if you truly wanted to let the world know how big of a deal you were, then you'd do best to get yourself an invitation to their Board of Directors. Something which only the most noteworthy of gang leader's even have the slightest change of making it on to.

While The Chairmen aren't considered a group that oversees the entirety of the criminal underworld and all who operate within it. They are quite the dominant force, with connections deep within certain spaces such as politics, business, law enforcement, and so on. Most people on the board will do just about anything to expand the legacy they have built off of from decades prior. Others are simply happy to be in a comfortable position that allows them to play around with the power they wield. In any case, they are an extremely dangerous faction with the resources to back them up. And if you were to somehow interfere with their work, well, let's just say it wouldn't be the first time they've completely erased a person's existence in the world.

A Few Facts about The Chairmen:

They are structured similarly to the way a conglomerate is. At the very top are the Board of Directors, which consists of every major gang leader who has proven themselves and earned a seat on the board. Each member of the Board has their gang act as a parent company, which brings in revenue from whatever businesses are done under it. Below the parent companies are small gangs that are considered subsidiaries. They are heavily monitored and must pay a large tribute in order to remain within The Chairmen's proverbial safety net.

Subsidiaries have the potential to earn a seat on the Board in several different ways. The following are just some; impressing the Board of Directors, replacing a previous member of the Board either by their firing or total destruction, arguing for a position, and so on.

The Board of Directors are, more or less, in a neutral alliance with one another. No member will interfere with the work of another unless it is to provide assistance of some kind. However, provided assistance must be repaid at some point or another. Failure to do so will result in the member who had requested the help to be punished in some fashion.

Bi monthly "business retreats" are the main way in which The Chairmen gather together as a whole in order to discuss what may be going on in their respective ventures, and with the world at large. Outside of that, they are more than welcome to keep in contact with anyone they wish to.

The current iteration of the Board of Directors is more than 5 but less than 15.

Members of the Board reside from different parts of the world and are wildly different than what the group considers their "founding fathers".

Some have kept up with the antics of the 3rd Street Saints for far longer than The Boss currently realizes.

[missathlete31]

Hey babe. Random question will you be surprised if Sydney & Glen end up dating down the road??

I feel like she's up his ass. Every time he posts a picture she's quick to like it.

Personally I would be VERY SURPRISED if they actually dated:

1. She has a fiancé and not to say that that can’t fall apart, but he is a producer on a lot of her films so I think they are strong.

2. I agree that they are still very much in each others orbit but I credit that to Sydney’s marketing. She is in like six films in the past two years and really trying to skyrocket her career. Fake dating rumors are fuel to her and I think she leaned heavy on it for the movie.

That being said, I think her stronger marketing was reposting all the TikTok’s of people leaving the theater dancing and singing. THAT WAS PURE GOLD in my mind because it just made people smile and get FOMO and that’s why I feel like the movie really made money.

3. A lot of amazing blogs on here (that I bother incessantly and I feel very bad for doing that to them) have taught me that Glen says a lot in his interviews without really saying it. I think the way he has thrown all credit towards Sydney for the marketing fake dating ploy while also talking in Mens Health about his mental health struggles, tells me that the love (if its genuine to Sydney) might be more of a one way street.

I do think Glen respects Sydneys work ethic and look maybe they had a good time in Sydney (no pun intended) but I don’t see them ever crossing into the dating world. And if anyone listens to that wretched Deux Moi, I don’t think Glen is running down the aisle during Sydney’s wedding to say he objects. What a ridiculous thought!

Honestly I’d be surprised if they did a movie together again.

BUT AGAIN: THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION SO TAKE IT HOW YOU WANT.

[moontheoretist]

Glitches or not, this makes NPC feel real

People started talking recently that Gale's romance is glitchy. That a lot of non-male players didn't even notice because it felt real to us to be hit on a guy involuntarily and being asked to choose between him and others when we didn't even date him. To me, however, this glitch either never happened or I bypassed him. My male MC was very nice to Gale. They're both Wizards, they have their own world of magic to talk to about. But he never came onto him, at all. We had more or less flirty conversations sometimes, yes, but he never made me choose between him and Astarion. I guess I was just playing in a way that gave him the impression that my MC was interested a little bit, but not committed to that interest very much. He just helplessly pins.

Like, for example, I played Mystra's scene as a romantic one. I picked the line with a kiss and he liked it. But then the choices I made later, even though I never explicitly rejected him, affected his behavior.

I didn't feed him artifacts as if he was a starving man. Each time I waited till he asks for artifact first and gave it to him then. And only 1 per every ask he makes. So technically I only gave him 2 artifacts, because he only asked me twice, and the second time he asked, it already didn't work. He said it didn't sate the weave, asked for a time to think, and then next time we talked he told me to not give him more because it stopped working. He was listed during Grove Party scene as possible romance, and during the party I had more or less only suggestive dialogues, but I guess asking him if he likes belly rubs was less romantic than the other two options (I'm autistic, I assumed it was not romantic at all, he just told me his cat hates belly rubs, and I was like "well, if you were in her place would you like them?"). I was surprised that he misconstrued such a line as a flirting line, but he also said that it's a conversation for another time, and that was it. Then I went to Astarion and picked him when my MC went to sleep, they had their romantic night. Since then, Gale and my MC are in this state of going around each other in circles, because my MC devoted himself to Astarion pretty early on thanks to doing some stuff that skyrocketed Astarion's approval instantly (I was so shocked when he suddenly decided to breach the relationship topic, because I were so sure he hated my MC for being goody-two-shoes, but well, killing monster hunter gives you a huge boost), so now it kind of looks like Gale has feelings for my MC, but isn't brave enough to speak about it.

So from my perspective, his behavior is completely normal. And yet I hear that he hits on people when explicitly rejected, so there must be a glitch somewhere in the romance. It just never happened to me.

Also, as a person very well versed in game studies I feel like Gale acting like that is very interesting from a game design perspective, because it gives him agency and makes him feel real. Yes, it also makes people annoyed at him and reminds them of men in real life a little too much. I can understand that. In real life his behavior would creep me out, but because it's a game and because I apparently must have played my cards right, he just feels like a very responsive NPC and I feel like it's nice to see NPC behave as real people rather than waiting for player's input to do anything romantic at all.

Funnily though, Lae'zel hit on my MC on her own and I rejected her, because I play my MC as a gay man. She was not pleased but took it in stride. I didn't get the feeling she resents him. Then during Grove Party she made a reference to her confession by saying "What a pity I won't be able to taste you" and I was like... I laughed because it looked like she holds a grudge against him now xD

My approval with Shadowheart is the highest of all companions, and yet she never came at me, because my MC respected her boundaries and never asked her to reveal the secrets she had. He only asked when the situation forced him, but let Shadowheart get away with being cagey and not reveal anything, and that apparently made her feel safe around him to the point her approval is now on exceptional, and she still doesn't hit on him because I still didn't pick any options that would trigger drinking the wine at night cutscene. So she is my bestie now. We are two besties with dark secrets now, wohoo.

Karlach hit on my MC early, and I needed to turn her down, because damn, gay man right (I love her tho, I'm romancing her on another playthrough for sure). It's funny that my MC whom I play as gay man was hit on by exactly 3 people and none of them was Gale. He never explicitly hit on my MC. I just got dialogue options that were flirty, which indicated that there is an interest there from Gale. But maybe because I played early access and tried to romance him in then (I still remember people talking how hard it is to trigger his romance in EA. Funny that now it's too easy) I know which dialogues are considered more or less romantic and somehow avoided giving him false hope.

Edit:

Hilarious I just opened the game to check my approval ratings with all the companions and... Gale's approval isn't there xD Neither in the regular form nor in the numerical form in the detailed view.

I wonder if that's why my Gale behaved so normally xD

Update: It turned out his "normal behavior" was a bug too.

[rapmillionaire]

Gun violence, and Gun Control (laws)

Gun violence is a major topic of debate, especially in America.

Lots of guns exist in America. And, in Switzerland. 

Mass shootings in Switzerland are relatively rare, with two in the past 20 years.

The fundamental difference between Switzerland and the US:

In Switzerland, background checks are mandated, which is not always the case in the U.S.

The top 5 states for gun ownership comprise only .8% of the nation’s firearm-related homicides (185 homicides between all 5 states). The bottom 5 states for gun ownership comprise 4% of the nation’s firearm-related homicides (1,038 firearm-related homicides).

Texas has more guns than any other state, with 1,005,555 guns. Texas's Firearm Injury Death Rate 15.3 (per 100,000). [source: www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/states/texas/tx.htm]

Florida trails behind in second place, with 518,725 guns. Florida's Firearm Injury Death Rate 14 (per 100,000) [source: www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/states/texas/tx.htm]

Montana has the highest number of gun owners (66%). Yet, quite low rates of homicide due to guns.

What the data does prove to be true, however, is that where guns exist, suicide rates tend to skyrocket.

◾️So a strong argument toward resolving suicide, is less guns.

▪️Less guns does not evidently prove true for lower rates of crime/assaults, however.

Yet, where gun violence does take place, that is amongst 🔹 BLACK MALES in inner cities specifically, where poverty is rampant, and the victims themselves are statistically skewed toward BLACK ON BLACK violence.

🔸Mass shootings in AMERICA are majorly committed by WHITE MALES (54% of the time),

🔸and by BLACK MALES only 17% of the time.

[source: www.statista.com/statistics/476456/mass-shootings-in-the-us-by-shooter-s-race]

38% of whites own guns (highest percentage in the US).

However, amongst the leading causes of death among white men, gun violence accounts for only 1.5% of their deaths.

🔻24% of blacks own guns.

🔺The leading rate of death for Blacks (between ages 1-44) is homicide.

Thus, data plainly shows that the main cause of gun violence is due to mere gun ownership.

It hints to more nuanced variables of environmental and circumstantial factors being the cause.

For suicide, gun prevalence does kill people.

That's what the data shows, both in America, and in Switzerland, and across the world.*

My personal opinion and conclusion:

▪️I'm all for background checks. Background checks should be required (for anybody to access or own a gun).

But ultimately, guns don't kill people (except if pointed at themselves #suicide).

rather, People kill people. and People kill people due to

environmental and socio-economic factors (poverty, stress, culture; all a side-effect of capitalism, undoubtedly),

interpersonal factors (black on black violence based on personal conflict, not random serial killing),

and additional cultural factors (music, movies, video games, etc which i believe reinforces violence through validation/acceptability).

Sentiment of the normalization of gun violence in American culture, starting at Minute 9 [www.youtube.com/watch?v=u177HGnKoJA; #TonyYayo]:

One may logically rebuttal: If you take guns away, no more gun violence!

To which the question then posed is: And but then, who ends up ruling?

The bigger and stronger man? How do you defeat the bigger and stronger man if you don’t have a weapon? And he doesn’t either. You get a bunch of police to go fist fight him just to put handcuffs on him when he wants to fight back?

At a certain point, you need the threat of violence to keep order

The real threat of violence. It’s what makes people respect the rule of law. Not their good hearts. But repercussions (for not following the rule of law).

that’s the universal language that equates to ppl following laws: consequences in the form of “penalty” (fines, jail, etc.)

Some ppl might follow laws because they’re good ppl. That doesn’t mean all will.

And usually you’ll be surprised as to how many ppl, given the chance, time and again, to get ahead in life by doing illegal things— how many will actually eventually succumb to the temptation to do it…. This too is human nature.

Everyone has their price. Even you have a price, my friend. For some it’s money. For others it’s sex. For others it’s status. No one is perfect and above not having a price, whence given the contextual opportunity personal to their inner desires. This is the importance of and why religion is still very much a guiding force for humans. A true religion grants discipline through ritualism which grants a person control over their own base desires (I.e. infamously known as the 7 deadly sins).

In fact that’s exactly what makes world history and our current day what it is — opportunism. Napoleon Bonaparte, Genghis Khan, etc.

So what you’re stating, naturally goes against the reality of nature, and human nature. At its most basic levels. When the human being is studied and understood.

Your approach, also, when trickled down to its most basic level of functionality,— I foresee it will result in an unrealistic idealism that self-defeats.

Example: Even prison guards have guns and weapons. PRISON GUARDS…. They’re dealing with guys who are in prison with zero weapons and who are locked and chained.

Or is it that prisons spend wasteful amounts of money on weapons all around the world because they just don’t know better…. They just don’t understand that they don’t need any weapons at all to be successful in maintaining the orderly conduct of criminals...

hell, muh man, if that’s the case they all ought to hire you as a warden... You’d transcend prisons and optimize their whole mode of function it sounds like.

Your theory would prove true that even prison guards themselves do not need guns (since the people they are watching over are way more compromised in strength and positioning than the average free citizen of the world). ‎

I understand your approach. But it’s not realistic in the current world.

I think you need to preface it by saying that a government needs to be a certain way (socialist, communist, ?), for no guns by no one (not even the government) to actually benefit, via no threat of violence and crime, subsequently, occurring. ‎

What form of government would work best, under the pretext of “*If you take guns away, no more gun violence.

To which a further rebuttal becomes: I get what you mean … There’s lots of problems in society, and banning guns not gonna sort everything out, but I think would help to reduce amount of violence… and previous examples as Australia (or Serbia) show ways of tackling it. … my basic position is this one: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/may/10/serbia-acts-two-mass-shootings-us-done-nothing-despite-200-this-year

To which we begin with the example of Serbia.

"A mere day after these senseless shootings, Vucic [President of Serbia] announced several measures that would prevent further tragedy. The measures include a ban on new gun permits, tougher penalties for illegal weapons possession, psychological checks of gun owners and an amnesty for the surrender of illegal weapons."

^ this sounds like the beginning of martial law.

And reminds me very much of the laws that took away freedoms of Americans (in terms of violation of civil liberties) after September 11, 2001, occurred (I.e. The Patriot Act covering a whole gambit of violations in the name of supposed ‘security’).

It especially sounds interesting when I read how fast the laws were implemented — “It only took two days, after two horrific mass shootings, for Serbia to act.” …🤦🏻‍♂️

I’m just surprised at how “effectively” fast the laws changed. It feels to me just a bit too good to be true that good intentions were behind such quick and swift changes in the law.

Side note from Wikipedia that aptly would fit the script: "Observers have described Vucic's rule as an authoritarian, autocratic or illiberal democratic regime, citing curtailed press freedom and a decline in civil liberties" . . 🤦

“A ban on new gun permits” —— this is a danger to the freedom of a citizen-populace… the founding fathers of America strictly warned against citizens losing their rights to bear arms (to keep government in check, and the powers that be, to keep their power non-absolute).

“tougher penalties for illegal weapons possession” —— this is arguably a good measure. 👍

“psychological checks of gun owners” —— I think this shall be mandatory in America.

“an amnesty for the surrender of illegal weapons” —— somewhat threatening for citizens, and dangerous for the well-being of democracy.

“(American) lawmakers will do little to prevent the next mass shooting.” — an unfortunate truth. The NRA and other “patriotic” lobbying groups and organizations buyout politicians behind scenes, to push pro-gun agendas at all costs, unfortunately, even if it continues to cost human lives. A sad reality.

“the US’s inaction boils down to the gun industry’s political influence.” —— 👆🏼exactly

“by creating an extremist view of the second amendment that is antagonistic towards any and all firearm restrictions and safeguards.” —— true too. I’ve heard a paranoid perspective about this out of political mouths myself, I remember.

“They blame mental health.” —— this is an interesting point; gun accessibility for those who commit suicide is strongly linked. I think we can all agree that anybody committing suicide or attempting to, does have a mental illness condition, by default (it's not a normal nor healthy mind that wants to self-destruct).

Albeit, interestingly enough, it appears that a small percentage of mass shooters had 'mental illness', per this source: www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/mass-shootings-and-mental-illness | www.cbsnews.com/detroit/news/a-look-into-the-traits-of-a-mass-shooter

To take away arms from 99% of ppl because 1% act on mental perversion, I disagree with. Especially in America. And especially under a Democratic governance (matter of fact, let's have all citizens vote whether guns should be completely banned or not; let the public decide! I guarantee that the majority would state to keep guns accessible, respectively speaking).

“How do we know it’s gun access? Because when governments, particularly state governments, put into place commonsense safeguards, we see fewer killings, less death and less trauma.” ——— I can agree with this too, to a certain extent. But it calls for data presentation. And nuance in implementation. Like I said, if I am wealthy and it shows via the neighborhood I live in and the car I drive or the clothes I wear, and I know there is poverty and high crime neighborhoods less than 1 or 2 miles away… a gun for self-protection at my home to protect myself (+ children, and wife if I have), I should have the ability and right. Period. No discussion.

Because I imagine I won’t be able to hire 24/7 police protection for my home. And I am not waiting 5 minutes after a break in, for the police to show up to save me.

So any law prohibiting me from exercising this right to self-protection, to me, and millions of others, is compromising personal safety and the very basic sense of right I have to mere self-preservation.

Others love to shoot guns, as a hobby.

Or to hunt (especially knowing the American landscape and the edible game provided, albeit bows and arrows are also effective).

These two hobbies should also be enabled to man if man desires to be and feel free to live. 

Hunting is natural to the human species. And even translates into the most natural form of dietary nutrition (no hormones, nitrates, preservatives, additives, coloration, etc. added to the food).

When people keep crashing cars and injuring themselves and others — you don’t prohibit cars. YOU ENSURE FOLKS HAVE LICENSES FOR DRIVING CARS BY PASSING DRIVING TESTS AND INCREASE THE REPERCUSSIONS IF THEY DO NOT ABIDE. AND YOU ALSO LOWER SPEED LIMITS IN AREAS OF INCREASED ACCIDENTS AND DANGEROUS ROAD CONDITIONS.

When people keep owning guns and shooting others, you don’t prohibit guns. YOU INCREASE BACKGROUND CHECKS, AND RESOLVE *CAUSES* OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND SOCIETAL ATTRITION.

To eliminate the “rights” of citizens is what governments always attempt, and it is done through new laws. YOU NEVER HEAR OF GOVERNMENTS DELETING OR RETRACTING LAWS. WHY IS THAT? To garner greater control over more people. I say, people should not enable the government to do that so easily. ❌

In fact, small changes added to gun accessibility would enable a better, more nuanced and realistic approach and understanding to gun violence. The moderate and balanced approach of neutral concessions is what’s necessary. Not the extreme position of zero guns allowed to any citizens. That’s nonsensical and goes against, again, the right to bear arms — which was the 2nd amendment and a part of the BILL OF RIGHTS (and CONSTITUTION) for good reason — through thorough foreshadowing of the protection for democracy to maintain itself as the balanced means of governance between citizens and their leaders in power. #genius

“ban assault weapons” ------ I’m not against banning assault weapons ✅ ; that sounds somewhat reasonable, but I would have to see more evidence on the impact assault weapons have on mass shootings and also personal conflict situations. 💡

“Buyback program” ------ Also sounds reasonable for those who wish to get money or whatever their incentive is. ✅

“When states put more stringent safeguards into place, fewer people die by firearms.” ------ I agree with this as well ✅ ; but my demand would be that the safeguards are nuanced. Not extreme and a complete banning of every firearm. ❌.

The US government can in fact stop gun violence like other countries have, but only if our policymakers start answering to the people, not the industry. ✅

Israel also needs to be held to account for their usage of US tax-paying dollars. And the amount of aid given to Israel, and specifically for what, needs to be audited.

AIPAC also needs to be registered as a foreign entity lobbying group. JFK attempted to do this.

These countries that ban arms so swiftly and quickly aren’t at the caliber nor level of influence of efficiency or effectiveness that democracy and capitalism provide to American productivity and efficiency and organization and institutionality.

So to compare their results with America is something to learn from, but by no means something to be implemented so swiftly, revolutionarily, and uninhibitedly in America.

The buckshot dangers of doing it at such a threshold pace outweighs the foresight, purpose, intention, and wisdoms of the founding fathers -- certain data provided countering that guns in general are the cause for violence, and the sensible inalienable right of self-preservation and protection (especially when it is not Law for the police to mandatorily protect citizens).

Make this the law, with proven time-response data, particularly in places where gun violence is rampant (i.e. the hoods of America), and I’ll be closer to accepting the extreme approach of gun prohibition.

Originally published: 09/02/2024.

[leviabeat]

The story of Volbeat’s Outlaw Gentlemen & Shady Ladies album

By Dave Everley | Metal Hammer | June 2013

Full Article ⬇️

Born from the ashes of death metal band Dominus, Volbeat’s mix of metal and rock’n’roll caught the attention of the world – and Metallica frontman James Hetfield in particular. As the Danes geared up to release their fifth album, Outlaw Gentlemen & Shady Ladies, in 2013, mainman Michael Poulsen told Hammer about the personal loss that drove the band.

Michael Poulsen has a tattoo on the back of his hand that reads ‘Little E���. It’s one of countless pieces of ink on a body that’s no stranger to the tattooist’s needle, and like all the other designs that adorn every square inch of visible flesh below the Volbeat frontman’s neckline, there’s a story behind it.

“We were on tour with Metallica, and one day James Hetfield comes in our dressing room looking for me,” he says. “He said, ‘Where’s Little E?’ Our drummer, Jon, went, ‘Who’s Little E?’ And James said, ‘Little E. Little Elvis, man’.”

Up until this point, Michael had been engrossed in a film on his laptop, headphones on, oblivious to the fact that the Metallica frontman was hunting for him. The next thing he knew, Hetfield was looming over him, brandishing a gift for the singer of his new favourite band.

“He’d bought a painting of Elvis and written on the back, ‘To Little E, here’s Big E, with love and respect, James Hetfield.’ That was a really cool gift. So when I came home, I got ‘Little E’ tattooed here. Why not? That’s what tattoos are about: stories. I want something to remember.”

That he says this with no small degree of pride shouldn’t come as a surprise. His band have spent 12 years carving out a place for themselves as the missing link between Elvis Presley and Metallica, channeling the outlaw spirits of both of those iconic acts into a gas-guzzling noise that distills metal, rockabilly, country and western and shit-kicking rock’n’roll.

The hard work has paid off. Their record label are expecting the album to go straight to No.1 in Denmark, while a series of electrifying live shows and festival appearances have sent their profile skyrocketing in Britain and America. The patronage of the world’s biggest metal band hasn’t done them any harm, either.

“It was inspiring to see how Metallica worked,” says Michael. “I had Metallica posters in room as a kid, even before I had my first guitar. And then, years later, you’re on the road with them. I had to ask myself, ‘Is this real?’”

You can read plenty about Volbeat in the title of their fifth album, Outlaw Gentlemen & Shady Ladies. It’s a phrase that evokes another time altogether, an era when elegant lawbreakers were the rock stars of the day. It’s a celebration of the bad men (and women) of the Old West and the old-school metal bands who influenced the young Michael Poulsen to form his first band, Dominus, back in the early 90s.

Today, sitting in his management’s office on one of Copenhagen’s main drags, the frontman looks every inch the rebel: greased back black hair, black T-shirt, black jeans, black shoes. His speaking voice is low and quiet, a world away from the wolverine howl of his singing voice.

“I’d just isolate myself in my living room, in total darkness,” he says of the writing process for the new album. “I’d watch a lot of Italian spaghetti westerns – Once Upon A Time In The West, those kind of films. Sometimes it’s just about the right feeling – the scenery, the lines, the dusty look. I have my own soundtrack when I see those kind of pictures.”

These cinematic influences paid off. Volbeat’s new album is as vivid and colourful as the tattoos on their singer’s arms. A parade of characters march through its songs, some real, some fictional, some supernatural. The galloping Pearl Hart is the tale of a real-life 19th century stagecoach robber; The Nameless One sets Tarot cards, time travel and a sinister, cane-carrying antagonist to an steel-plated backdrop; Doc Holiday celebrates one of the more marginal characters of the Wild West, lacing its old school metal groove with some nifty banjos.

The most personal track on the album, Dead But Rising, takes a very real figure as its starting point and turns it into something more spiritual. Jørn Poulsen, Michael’s father, was an amateur boxer and a fan of Elvis Presley, and he passed a love of both onto his son. When he died four years ago, his son promised to make a pilgrimage to Elvis’s home, Graceland, in his memory.

“I was driving to Mississippi, where Elvis was born, when the navigation in the rental car just went out,” says Michael. “Then I noticed an eagle that had been following the car for a while. I said, ‘What is it with that eagle? Is my father trying to tell me something?’ I got emotional about it and I decided to follow the eagle. And that’s what Dead But Rising is all about – it’s about me, today, trying to reach out for that eagle. I said, ‘When I come home, I’m gonna get that eagle tattooed on my hand as a memory.”

He nods to another pair of tattoos on his hands: one is an eagle, the other is his dad’s name. “My dad had this eagle tattooed across his chest,” he says with quiet pride.

Like everything on the album, there’s a clarity and muscle to the track. This is in part down to new recruit Rob Caggiano, who co-produced the album with longtime Volbeat associate Jacob Hansen. Until very recently, Caggiano was a member of Anthrax. Then, in January, it was announced that he was quitting the thrash titans. His reasons were vague, though he admitted that “Anthrax was never a creative outlet for me.” A month later, he announced that he would be parlaying his production gig with Volbeat into a full time job as guitarist.

Today, Rob's cautious when it comes to the subject of his old band versus his new one. “There’s been a bit of a misconception,” he says. “When I put out the press release about leaving Anthrax, it wasn’t really about me wanting to stop touring. I thought it’d take a little time to figure out my next move as a guitar player, and that the producing thing would be the perfect way to bridge that gap. A lot of people read into that the wrong way.”

Is Volbeat a permanent thing?

“Yes,” he says, no hesitation.

It’s ironic that a man who left an outfit he claims he felt “stifled” in Anthrax ended up joining Volbeat. Without actually saying it, Michael Poulsen makes it clear that he’s the boss of this band. “I write all the material,” he says firmly at one point, while bassist Anders Kjølholm and drummer Jon Larsen are noticeable by their absence today. But then every band needs its leader, and Poulsen is Volbeat’s James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich rolled into one.

You have to admire his ambition and his will to succeed. Denmark is hardly a hotbed of metal: aside from Lars Ulrich, the only other artists of note to emerge from this small, damp but utterly charming country were Mercyful Fate and their sometime leader King Diamond. Indeed the latter even crops up on one track, the characteristically theatrical Room 24, a song based on an experience Michael had when he awoke in a hotel room in the middle of the night to find himself unable to move and feeling like someone – or something – was sitting on his chest, the latter presence voiced by the King himself.

“Michael is a fan of Mercyful Fate – he even has a Mercyful Fate tattoo,” says King, speaking from his home in Dallas. “I met him a couple of years ago, and we became very good friends very quickly. He approached me to sing on the track, and said, ‘It would be super cool if you were interested.’ I don’t really do that for anyone any more, my voice is very difficult to handle for other people. Michael’s very Danish, like I am – does things his way.”

The presence of King Diamond tells you as much about where Michael Poulsen is coming from as all the quiffs and Elvis tattoos. For all their retro stylings, they’ve got a metal heart – the frontman started his musical career as a teenager in the death metal band Dominus, who released four albums during the 90s, the third of which was titled Vol.Beat (a portmanteau of the words ‘Volume’ and ‘Beat’). Michael still cites Slayer as a major inspiration, alongside Mercyful Fate and, of course, their unofficial mentors in Metallica.

“When I was growing up, my dad and mum played a lot of old records – Fats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry,” says Michael. “I love that stuff – it’s a drug somehow. My own record collection growing up was metal. But I listen to a lot of different styles of music. If something moves you, I don’t care what it is.”

Elvis Presley, and James Hetfield, would be proud.

Originally published in Metal Hammer issue 244

[jonfarreporter]

Here’s a probable history of the familiar “witches hat”

Linda of Broadway Catering & Events of Sonoma did something “witchy” for this year. She dressed up in the full traditional witches costume while going shopping at Adobe Pharmacy (formerly Pharmica) on West Napa Street not far from the historic plaza.

Speaking of history, the traditional witches attire seen here has been stylized over the years. But to trace all the things we associate with witches and witchcraft is both complicated and surprising.

To keep it simple for now, let’s just look at the so-called conical or “pointed” cylinder hat. Briefly going over historical data presentations by scholar, Elaine Pagels, historian Amelia Mott Gummere and history writer Janice Formichella, it seems to this reporter that much attributed to witches was done so to discredit or demonize a particular person or a group of people/women.

With that said, the pointed hat has several origins. also it must be noted such a style of hat has been worn by both women and men, in many cultures. It’s all simply a matter of context or rather in the case of women accused of witchcraft, their attire being taken out of context.

Big hats whether tall or wide have always existed and are something of distinction. For example, a mother of the bride (especially in Britain) at a wedding wears the best hat; men in the late 19th Century to the 20th Century wore top hats.

President Lincoln usually wore what was then known as a “stovepipe hat,” (which some consider the precursor to the ‘top hat’ made famous in the movies by dancer Fred Astaire), etc. So the idea of a tall hat has been in existence for centuries. It seems when status and power is involved that’s when the tall hat (be it pointed or cylinder) gets vilified.

In her book about the history of The Quakers, Gummere writes: “Almost all of the earliest prints of the Quaker women who preach show them dressed in this cap and hat,” she noted. “It is impossible, in examining any of these pictures, to avoid the suggestion that here is the hat of the conventional witch of our childhood."

Dress & clothing historian Abby Cox mentions. “Throughout most of the 17th century, women of all social classes wore tall, black, wool felt hats.”

“This was considered normal fashion at the time,” she said. Recognizing the correlation, she explained. “These wide-brimmed, black, conical hats peaked in popularity in the mid-1600s, which also happened to be when a new Christian denomination known as the Religious Society of Friends, or Quakers, was founded in England.”

And as is now well-known, The Puritans who later settled in America had little to no tolerance for any other expression of Christianity but their own. As established religious scholar Elaine Pagels noted “the fact that women could have power (in such a society as The Puritans) was disturbing if not reprehensible.”

Quakers believed in equality among men and women especially with respect to leadership in their church. And, it is hypothesized that this criticism of Quaker women having leadership was one of the reasons for depicting “witches” in the general attire of Quaker women.

Another explanation comes from historical writer Janice Formichella. As she believes, “My vote for the origin of this spooky accessory is that it relates directly to the hats worn by female beer brewers (also known as alewives) in medieval times. Trying to stand out in crowded markets, they would wear tall, pointed hats.“

Interestingly if so, is that where the term “witches brew” comes from? Formichella notes further. “Such women were also associated with having a knowledge of herbs and brewing concoctions at home. My theory is that when depictions of witches began to skyrocket a short time later, it was an easy image to conjure up (pun intended).“

Pointing to examples found in Woodcuts from the 18th century, Formichella reasons, “these illustrations show that it was an ingrained link by then, and would remain to this day.”

How all the other elements of a witch’s costume and props came into accepted folklore is for another article and more research. But for now, concerning the recognizable conical, pointed “witches hat” I will conclude with what Formichella has to say about it.

“I believe that the association with female brewers is also the strongest as only a relatively short time later witches were regularly depicted in similar hats.”

For more information about the history of witches and witchcraft, visit the presentation on the History.com website.

[butterflyinthewell]

That’s three four poop disasters since he’s been home. (Edited because he did it AGAIN! Not accidents, he’s doing this on purpose.)

Yeah, we’ve been dealing with my dad’s literal SHIT because he won’t listen when we say wait (which he can do) and then it’s a 30 minute production to clean him up. We’ve had to redo all the pads on the bed so many times that we’re going through money (that we don’t have) like it’s water keeping up with him.

I won’t detail what he’s doing other than to say he’s shitting when he shouldn’t be because he’s mad that we can’t always drop what we’re doing to run and help. It’s not incontinence, he’s choosing to go. Let’s just say he wears protection in case of little shart accidents, but these aren’t little accidents.

Every time, my whole house smells like someone threw turds all over the room and left them to marinate in the sun. My nose is super sensitive since I had covid in 2022, so I smell it as if someone has a turd right under my nose. It’s excruciating, I can’t eat or leave my room until the stink clears or I am physically ill. Mom is unbothered, she’s the least squeamish person I know and she understands that I’m suffering through this. (We just can’t DO anything due to fucking American healthcare being absolute horseshit useless…)

What’s even worse is he will swear he has to go and then decides he doesn’t have to after we spend the time getting set up. He ONLY does it when he sees me and mom are busy. Then when he changes his mind, we have to break down the setup which wastes even more time.

Also a water main outside broke and we’re having to get that fixed. Luckily it’s a slow leak and we can still use our water normally, but our bill skyrocketed and we couldn’t figure out why until it seeped up and soaked the sidewalk.

Every time my dad is hospitalized and comes home, there’s some other disaster that increases the stress.

And on fucking top of this shit cake of bullshit, M, the physical therapist dad actually respects, is being moved to an office job and won’t be seeing people in their homes anymore. I hope whoever we get is a man who is big and strong, because a small woman will not be able to deal with him.

I don’t say this to say women are weak. Far from it! But he doesn’t respect women, and will baby out of whatever a woman tries to make him do. He wants to be babied, not get better, and thinks he can get that out of women in ways he doesn’t behave around men.

I’m realizing how disgustingly misogynistic my dad is and I want to throw up. The things he says are so vile. We had a lady sub for M once and the things he said about her after she left were horrible. I screamed at him to shut up.

God, I hate all of this. M just got dad to stand and take a few little steps, and now we don’t know if whoever comes next will be able to bodily move him around like that. Dad will not do things until you make him, and then he gets mad at mom and me for making him while lauding therapists like M who do it.

But not if they’re women. He doesn’t listen if they’re women.

It’s so fucked up. I want off this planet.

Behind a cut so people don’t have to see me rant about my disabled, emotionally abusive dad.

So my dad fell twice in the last five days due to not listening to me and mom. He has Parkinson’s and if you dig through my posts you’ll see me talk about it, so I won’t go into it.

I don’t hate disabled people, just him. I don’t hate him for having Parkinson’s, I hate him for the abuse he inflicted on me and still inflicts on me with his disability as a crutch to get away with it. And I call out ableism when the problems we have with him are caused by the medical care system, because sometimes it’s not his fault.

But THIS situation IS his fault.

SO ANYWAY…

Last Friday, he fell because he wouldn’t stop rocking sideways every time he got up. He gets up with help and uses a walker, but he throws his weight around when he knows me and mom are two tiny women compared to a hulking huge man.

And he fell.

We had to call my aunt and uncle over to get his ass off the damn floor and onto his toilet commode so he could take a shit. Then they got him into bed. He claimed he was fine, and then on Tuesday he started griping that his lower back and buttcheek hurt on the left side. But he could walk and didn’t complain much after the initial gripe.

Today, he was all scrunched up in bed in a way that guarantees his back will hurt and made his pain worse, like I told him it would (and he wouldn’t listen to me).

Mom took him out into the living room and he fell on the way, AGAIN, because he kept rocking his weight around.

Now get this, he doesn’t throw his weight like that when therapists would come over. Dad will be an angel for them, but a nightmare for me and mom. He cooperates for professionals, but not family. He does everything in his power to make life as hard as possible for me and mom. I’m not kidding when I say that.

He goes to the doctor on Monday to find out what the fuck he did to himself, but it’s going to be a nightmare.

My birthday is coming up and of COURSE he does this right before it, and ruins any excitement I had.

Before you attack me for that, keep in mind that he pulls shit like this all the time. He knows everyone will be sympathetic to him while looking at mom and me like we’re evil for being exhausted, angry and burnt out.

The fact that we can’t afford to put him anywhere or get help into this house means we have no lives outside of caregiving. Every waking moment until we sleep is him and all his emotionally abusive bullshit, every day with no breaks, forever. He has ruined holidays, birthdays and plans because his only joy in life is making everyone around him as miserable as he is.

I’ve managed to eke out a few moments of joy here and there, but for the most part my life is a slog that never ends.

I laugh at the people who acted like COVID lockdowns were depriving them of life. I won’t deny that it was a traumatic experience, and this is not aimed at people who got sick anyway and now have long covid. This ain’t you, don’t worry.

But the people who acted so inconvenienced that their social lives got interrupted? Fuck off.

I’ve lived something like the COVID lockdowns for over a decade. No life outside of my house, no life outside of being a caregiver for someone who is sucking away all my compassion and love.

I can’t leave because I’m disabled too and all the legal shit is inaccessible to me.

I’m trapped, mom is trapped, and we are eventually going to die from the stress while he sits there yelling at us for not jumping to his every whim.

My only escape is writing fanfics and staring dead-eyed at my ipad screen, interrupted constantly by him demanding things.

I have accumulated so much trauma from him, and COVID, and mom having medical crises that were resolved, and my needs not being met, that I’ll be surprised to see 45. I will be shocked if I wake up alive on my 45th birthday.

I turn 43 this July 29, 2023, so yeah.

If I don’t die, my mom is going to, and if she goes we’re all dead.

I just hope I go first. Either heart attack or stroke will probably do it, but I don’t want to outlive her and be alone with him.

No child should be trapped as a caregiver for a disabled abusive parent, but it happens and nobody talks about it.

[sylvies-chen]

ok this was a big episode in terms of non-football plots so wow let’s unpack it all with my…

TED LASSO 3.08 THOUGHTS

before I get out my coherent thoughts lemme just add in a quick: TED WITH THE GREEN MATCHBOX DIWKEIWIRKWKR like shitting screaming crying biting my nails throwing up crashing my car into a ditch THE IMPLICATIONS

KEELEY MY BELOVED I’M SO SORRY YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS NOOOOO

I’m actually kind of glad that the richmond guys didn’t understand the weight of it at first but then grew to understand and be respectful of it especially after learning about keeley being one of the victims. from my experience, it takes knowing a female friend who experienced something for men to truly understand the female perspective on it which is sad but true so I was really happy to see they all came around

ISAAC FOUND OUT ABOUT COLIN OH MY GOD Y’ALL WHAT how dare they not conclude that storyline my anxiety is skyrocketing

oh roy…. roy roy roy I know you’re still in a very insecure state when it comes to keeley but that was soooo the wrong question to ask

but on another note, making the QUEER GIRLFRIEND the most intolerant perspective on this feminist issue was not the right move at all. the red flags from jack have been so utterly unnecessary and of all the relationships they could have chosen to make toxic, the ONE wlw one was not a good choice. there was enough there to break them up without making her completely disrespect keeley. I’m profoundly disappointed by the writers on this front.

nate and jade are officially exclusive!! and nate was actually happy to see ted and henry!! my little heart is exploding omg like our boy is slowly coming back to the surface I know he can find it in him to stick it to rupert and mend things with ted in some capacity <3

LOL HENRY COMPLETELY IGNORING JAKE WHEN JUMPING IN THE CAB my man knows who his dad is iktr

also Trent is a diamond dog!!! yay!!! woof woof!!

I have… no idea wth they’re doing with keeley… like is she going to get back together with jamie after seeing him display the accountability she so desperately wanted from him in season 1? is she going to get back together with roy once he fixes his shit? is she gonna stay with jack? be single? a secret fifth option? who fucking knows. but also. it is a bad thing that there are only 4 episodes left and the vision for one of their TWO female leads is unclear. they need to stop fumbling the bag with my girl dammit!