#my reader would get cancelled for being just that insane

[sinstear]

need to make my reader so insane, batshit crazy, and a fuck head who has major issues, trust issues through the roof, can’t help but be sassy when someone they don’t like appears, no filter havin ass, has a fake friend detector up their ass, voices too many opinions that could end up with someone in tears, says too many kms jokes until someone is questioning their sanity, but turns into a golden retriever obsessed lover when their girlfriend is around but idk if you could handle all that, sigh

[ovaryacted]

EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERRY

─ Joel Miller x fem! reader || WC: 10.9k (oops)

SYNOPSIS: Against your best judgment, you take a flight back to your hometown in Texas to celebrate the holidays with your hectic family. Amidst the chaos started by the people you shared blood with, Joel Miller is there to mend the pieces and more.

CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. SMUT. No-Outbreak AU. Age gap implied. [Joel is hitting 50, reader is late 20s]. Primarily Best Friend's Dad! Joel Miller. Explicit Language. Alcohol consumption. Oral sex (m & f receiving). Unprotected Sex (p/v). Kissing. Admissions of feelings. Mutual pining. Toxic family household. Mentions of past cheating. Slight homophobia & fatphobia. Patriarchal & misogynistic views on women. Mentions of childbirth and marriage. Mentions of religious upbringing. Reader is originally from Arlington, Texas & currently lives in NYC. Reader is described to have hair, wear makeup, and wear feminine clothing. Reader is very close friends with Sarah Miller. Joel is a long time family friend. Lots of drama. We all hate aunt Evelyn.

➣ Disclaimer: This story includes ignorant language & bigotry that may be offensive to people (the word queer in this fic is used in an offensive manner). The dialogue in this fic is meant to highlight the toxic household the reader came from. I do not support such usage of language.

A/N: Happy belated holidays & New Years. This fic took me much longer to finish and that really pissed me off but I'm just glad it's done. Thank you to my prima @gothcsz for the proofread, and for holding my hand along with @joeloverture as I wrote this fic cause only you guys know how much of a stressor this was for me. I apologize for any typos or repeating words I did not catch and any warnings I forgot to add. Anyways, reblogs, comments, and likes are always greatly appreciated!

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3

When the message from your mom came through to invite you back home for the holidays, you felt hesitant to confirm your presence back in the very place you planned to escape from years ago. Yet, the burden of familial obligation overwhelmed you, planning out the last couple of days in December to visit your folks perhaps for what felt like the last time. The trip back to Texas was dreary and long winded, a packed four almost five hour flight from New York City to Dallas with a handsy, fidgeting couple in your row almost brought you to the brink of insanity if it wasn’t for your noise cancelling headphones being your saving grace. Thankfully, you slept for the majority of the flight, waking up once to get your free ginger ale and biscoff cookies as tradition demanded, and by the second time your plane was landing in Texas.

The temperature difference took you off guard, peeling off your thermal jacket and holding it in your arm as you grabbed your carry-on and called for an uber to your hotel. The safest option for you was to pay for a room in the city to avoid your mom bribing you to extend your stay longer than you wanted.

After a day of getting situated in your hotel room and sleeping off the lingering jetlag, you mentally prepared to meet your family after much time away in the East Coast. You meticulously planned out your outfit to be the perfect balance of sensible and formal, a sweater dress cinched with a golden belt by the waist, paired with black pantyhouse and heels to match. Your makeup was equally as tasteful, natural to not distort your face, but layered enough to hide your facial imperfections.

Bringing a bottle of wine as a “welcome back home gift”, you called another Uber destined to your hometown of Arlington, Texas, a different region entirely from the tall skyscrapers you’ve grown fond of in the Big Apple. Walking up the steps of the wooden front porch you’ve known for most of your childhood, nervous fingers reach to press the doorbell, fussing with the edge of your dress and tugging it down as much as it would allow. The moment the door opened, the facade that’s kept you safe all of these years turned on like an involuntary switch, now met with your mother.

“Honey! You’ve made it.” She instantly brought you in for a hug, giving the side of your cheek a kiss. “I hope the trip wasn’t too bad, it seems like everyone wanted to travel this year.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle. Plus, I brought wine.” You said to her, the smile on her face widening as she took the bottle happily, stepping to the side to let you in.

Holding your trenchcoat in one arm, you stepped into your childhood home and looked over the wall of family photos in the entryway, still in the same frames and spots as you last remembered. You stalled to look over one of the frames, a family photo that was taken back when you were a pre-teen, you could tell from the animal print leggings and shin-high laced converse you wore.

Oh, how the time flew by.

There was a bunch of commotion towards the living room, standing by the archway to spot other members of your rather hectic family. Some of your aunts and older cousins gathered around the television already a few glasses of wine into the night, currently watching something you didn’t care to pay attention to, critiquing the appearances of the women on the screen as a means to feed their broken egos. Thankfully, the family members with younger children weren’t here, the slightest bit of ease settling your nervous system at the thought of not needing to monitor children that weren’t yours. You got the rundown that luckily, your mom had downsized her usual Christmas dinners, most of your extended family opting to save their money and host their own celebrations closer to home. Less people to deal with, even better for you.

Your younger sister came down the stairs once she heard of your arrival, practically jumping on her toes and waiting patiently to have you spot her. You didn’t deny her the hug she had been waiting for since hearing you were coming back home, wrapping her arms tightly around you in an affectionate squeeze.

“Been a while pipsqueak. You've gotten taller since the last time I visited.” You teased her, taking in her slightly mature appearance as if it were the first time you were meeting her despite the facetime calls shared between you. Really, she was the only member of your immediate family you kept in touch with nowadays, the only person you’d want to speak to anyway.

“Yeah yeah, I can finally reach your shoulders.” She replied with a laugh. “Thought you’d bail out this time around.”

“Didn’t think it would be too overwhelming if I visited. How’s college going? Are they treating you alright in California?”

“It’s pretty good. Biology is pretty easy, but I have the absolute worst organic chemistry professor, thankfully me and the other students have a study group so I think I’ll manage. I’m still not used to California, being close to the San Andreas fault keeps me up at night.” Your sister’s irrational fear made you giggle, your head turning over your shoulder once you heard a familiar male voice through the walls of the kitchen, your father making an appearance as he reached into the fridge for what you could imagine was a beer.

“How’s dad doing?” You asked timidly.

“Well, he’s still a bit upset about you leaving after all of these years. I don’t think he’ll ever live that down, but for the most part I think he’s alright.” Your sister’s shoulders rose and dropped in a shrug, not wishing to press on with this conversation topic.

In the midst of asking about what your mother could be cooking, the doorbell rang and your name was called from the dining room to answer it. Parting away from your sibling, you reached for the front door knob fully expecting another distant relative on the other side of the threshold holding a pan of some dish as a welcome gift.

Instead, your eyes widened to see Joel Miller standing on your porch, holding a bottle of rum you knew your father liked. He was older than you remembered with more gray on his head and in the facial hair that accentuated his upper lip and jaw. The seasonal flannel he wore looked tighter across his broad chest, the thin jacket he layered on top only accentuated his wide shoulders and thick biceps. There were a couple more wrinkles on his forehead, some additional creases you counted on the side of his eyes, still as warm and brown as you last saw them.

He grows more handsome with age you’ve come to notice.

“Hey darlin’.” The baritone of his voice washed over you suddenly, smooth in your ear like honey. It took you a second to realize you’ve been blatantly staring at him before finding words. 

“Hiya Joel. Sorry, I didn’t realize you were coming by.” Moving to the side to let him through, you tried your hardest not to stare at the length of his back as he sauntered past you.

“Your mom invited me, heard you were visitin’ so I wanted to see you. Been a while.” The idea of Joel possibly missing you brought a flutter to your chest, but you swallowed it down with a calm nod of your head.

“Yeah, I haven't been back in a long time. How’s Sarah doing? She told me she couldn’t make it for this week.” Ah yes, the mention of his daughter and your childhood friend brought a sly smile to his face.

“She’s over in Chicago celebratin’ the holidays with her boyfriend’s family. Told me she’ll be back for New Years so at least she’ll get to see her old man for a few days. She misses you, you know?”

“She definitely told me that after apologizing for not being able to see me now. I bribed her to make it up to me with a really nice gift.” You both laughed amongst yourselves, the sense of familiarity you always got with Joel in particular made it easier to talk to him, even if it’s been some time since you’ve been back home. “You look good Joel.”

It slipped out before you could take it back, misinterpreting how that could’ve come off. Yet Joel, ever the considerate man, responded with equal amounts of charisma.

“You look good too darlin’.” There was a pause, a single breath that could’ve disrupted the vibe had you cared to look into it more than you’d like. Instead, your mother came to interrupt the minor moment you were having with your best friend’s father.

“Joel! So happy you could come by.” She embraced him much like she had done when you initially came in, with Joel wrapping one thick arm around her waist and holding the rum bottle in his other hand. “You brought a gift for Joseph?”

“Couldn’t come empty handed, wouldn’t be very gentleman like.” The three of you chuckled, but you caught the way he glanced at you as he spoke before looking at your mom again, your cheeks warming the slightest bit when he did so.

“He’d love it. Sweetie, why don’t you go in the kitchen and check on the rolls in the oven. Take this with you.” She hands you the rum bottle Joel had brought, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes at the instant dismissal. Joel gave you another look over as you turned on your heels to head to the kitchen, checking over your mom’s cooking.

Your sister had come by to give you company as your mom paraded Joel around to your aunts and other relatives. Evelyn, your recently divorced aunt for the second time might you add, was eyeing Joel like he was a piece of meat, reapplying her lipstick and curling her hair behind her ear for a chance to have his attention on her. You and your sister snickered under your breath at her obvious antics, making hushed comments of your own as you poured yourself a cup of wine to sip on.

Your family have been preoccupied drinking away and making mundane conversation while you stayed behind to inspect the rest of your mother’s extensive menu, letting the bread rolls cool off and switching out their place with a fresh apple pie. Bending over to check on the pastry through the glass oven door, you watched the dough edges caramelize into a brown, oblivious to an additional presence in the kitchen with you.

“It won’t cook any faster if you glare at it like that.” Joel quipped, his voice startling you as your back straightened.

“No harm in checking, you know how my mom is with her cooking.” You stated, gesturing over to Joel’s almost empty glass. “You want a refill?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” Joel handed you his glass, ignoring the feel of his fingers grazing yours as he passed it over. He watched you from the side of your face as you mixed him a rum and coke, just the way he liked, the way you learned he liked. “Learned some new skills in the big city?”

“Bartended for a few years to pay off the living expenses. Was a pain in the ass, but at least I can make a mean cocktail.” Your little jest made Joel chuckle under his breath, passing him his new drink. He took a tentative sip, offering a satisfied hum.

“It’s good. Remind me to give you a tip later on.” You playfully rolled your eyes and shook your head, refilling your glass of wine. “Your aunt, Evelyn if I remember, I think she’s tryin’ to make a pass at me.”

“Well, she is divorced, so it’s not farfetched to think she might want to shoot her shot while she can. She doesn’t tickle your fancy?”

“She ain’t really my type.” For some reason, you felt relieved to hear that from him, despite feeling a bit guilty for doing so. “Been sticking to myself, you know?”

“Right. I forgot you were sticking to the whole ‘single dad bachelor’ type of vibe.” He was smirking now, the appearance of a dimple on his cheek tugged at your chest. 

“So you’re saying I’m a bachelor?”

“If we’re being technical, yes you would fit the bracket, bonus points for being a girl dad too.”

“Well now you’re just butterin’ me up.” You knew you were, but you shouldn’t entertain it in that way, even if you wanted to. Acting nonchalant about it, you shrugged, sipping away at your wine once more.

“Listen, I’m just reiterating what’s been told in Cosmopolitan. Don’t shoot the messenger.” You rose your hands up in feign innocence, much to Joel’s amusement.

“I definitely missed you around these parts. Always were a funny one, smart too.”

“Now I think you’re the one that’s buttering me up.” You were having trouble discerning if or you were outright flirting with Joel or if he was simply being kind after some time away. For now, you’ll blame it on the wine coursing through your system.

“Maybe. Just bein’ honest with you.” He swallowed more of the mixed drink you made him, holding the glass in his large hand, struggling not to examine the way his thick fingers gripped around the cup. “Listen, do you mind sittin’ by me at the table? I’m feelin’ like an outsider and frankly, I don’t mean to upset your aunt if she realizes her advances aren’t bein’ reciprocated.”

“Sure thing, Joel.” You couldn’t blame him for the proposition, hell you wanted to ask if he could sit with you. Looks like you were both interested in doing the other a favor on just getting through the night in one piece.

“You’re the best.”

It was the last thing he said before leaving you in the kitchen, his words of praise bouncing around in your head as you continued to watch over the pie, knowing the dinner you dreaded was quickly approaching.

After a while, your mom had called everyone over to the dinner table, the red and gold table cloth matching perfectly with the white porcelain and silverware gracing the mahogany wooden table. Everyone was quick to find a seat, your parents sitting on the right end and your extended family fanning out on the opposite side. Joel had already found his seat right in the middle of the table, and you took your place beside him on the right with a thankful smile, your sister situated across from you.

“Come, let us say grace.” Your mother declared out loud, your mind blanking at forgetting how religion was such an influential part of your upbringing despite your personal qualms with it.

Everyone around you closed their eyes and bowed their heads, reaching for the person besides them to hold their hand. Joel opened his palm and gestured to his hand with kind eyes, clasping your fingers in his once he felt you. As your mom recited the prayer you’ve tried to forget since you had moved away, you focused more on the way Joel’s touch felt against your skin. He gave you a couple of untimely squeezes, his thumb caressing over your knuckles as you tuned out the sound of your mother’s voice, mind wandering to places where it probably shouldn’t go while being surrounded by your family.

“Amen.” You heard from your right side, the dinner guests echoing afterwards, quickly snapping you out of your day dream.

“Amen.” You muttered last, reminiscing the final instant Joel had your hand in his before he dropped it, leaving it on your lap.

The bowl of fresh butter rolls circled around the table, snatching one as you planned out the rest of your plate. You took your pick of what was laid before you, some mashed potatoes, macaroni salad, glazed ham, and a piece of turkey breast. You brushed off a slick comment you heard down the table aimed directly at you and your portion control. The faster you eat and finish your meal, the less you would have to entertain familial bullshit.

The table burst into conversation, your guests exchanging recent and old memories as they munched away at the contents of their plates. Trying your hardest not to humor any overly personal inquiries from your parents, you made small talk with Joel and your sister, talking about school and childhood stories. Of course, that was short lived by the time your mom chimed in.

“So honey, how’s the city?” You know the chances of this conversation heading in the wrong direction were high, but you would like to give your mother the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she actually cares. Maybe she’s changed.

“It’s good. Finished my masters, moved into another apartment further downtown. Things are going well.” You kept your answer general, thinking that maybe she wouldn’t pry too much.

“That’s nice, I’m glad you finished your program. But that sounds a bit lonely, no? What happened with that boy you were talking to before? Oh what was his name…Daniel? Derrick?”

Oh of course. Your fucking ex of 2 years.

“You mean Devin?”

“Yes Devin! I liked that boy for you.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes into the back of your skull.

“I liked him too before I found out he cheated on me with his coworker. You knew that mom, yet you always remind me of him as if he’s some saint.” The table had gotten a bit quiet then, and you swear you could feel Joel’s eyes digging holes into the side of your head. You didn’t care much to mention your ex, you’ve grown past the bitterness you used to carry and already made your peace with it. Apparently your mom was still hung up on the one individual from your past you would do anything to forget.

“Yes, well, you can always forgive him for that, I’m sure he’s learned from his mistake. I just don’t want you to be all alone in the city. You are getting to that age where you should be thinking about having a family of your own, to have people who can take care of you.”

Of course she was going to fucking say that.

Your achievements didn’t mean shit to your parents. It didn’t matter if you went to college and graduated top of your class or excelled in your Master’s program, getting an offer to work at one of the biggest corporations in the country at a supervisory position. They were always more focused on when you planned on popping out children of your own for their comfort, to reassure them that their lineage will be passed on. That has always been bullshit to you.

“I’m focused on work and my career, so I’m not really interested in planning for a family of my own.” It was a straightforward response, you think it would be enough for your mom to read the room but it never was.

“How long are you planning on only prioritizing your career hun? You’ll be alone your entire life at this rate. Surely you want to have kids soon, you can’t leave me high to dry. I want some grandbabies of my own!”

“I like my job, I like where I’m at, and a kid doesn’t need to be added in the mix. I’ll be alright.” Your mother forced a hurt expression, real enough for a stranger to think you caused her physical pain. She wore the mask of victimhood well, but you’ve learned to see through her facade since you were a child.

“That city life has made you selfish. See, I told you this was going to happen before you left us. You’ve been telling me you wanted kids since you were little and now you’ve changed your mind.” You bitterly sniggered under your breath, shaking your head in disbelief. Your sister shot you a look of concern, already familiar with the combative direction of this conversation.

“I’m selfish for not wanting kids? For changing my stance on it from a thought I had when I was six? That’s rich.” Before your mother could respond, the nail scratching voice of your aunt Evelyn hit your ears, always so quick to criticize and taunt.

“You won’t find a husband if you continue to be so work focused.” Your pulse pounded in your ears at how dense she had always been, but you weren’t a defenseless child anymore, you had a mouth of your own. “If you ever want to get married, you should learn how you can contribute to the home, to cook and take care of your family, like me and your mom were taught.”

“Really? And how has that turned out for you? You’re on your second divorce from your personal cheating scandal, so maybe I’m doing something right.” You’ve trained yourself to bite back after experiencing so much nonsense from your family. Besides, you weren’t obligated to be anybody’s emotional punching bag.

“The only thing you’re doing right is tightening your waistband. If your education stopped you from finding a man, your appearance certainly will when you’re wasting your youth away.”

You had lost your appetite a few minutes ago, feeding off of the years worth of irritation you felt coiling in your gut, dropping your silverware on the table. Since you’ve left for New York, you put so much into changing the way you thought about things, to undo the traumas you’ve experienced your entire life and unlearn the very things your family indoctrinated you into since you were young. You’ve done the work, and now you realize just how ridiculous the people you share blood with truly are, minus your sister of course.

“And then you wonder why I don’t visit for the holidays.”

“It’s not like you visit anyways.” Your eyebrows furrowed at your father’s voice, tensely looking towards him and growing tense at what will come out of his mouth. “New York has changed you for the worst. I told your mother it was a bad idea to let you go over there, and now you won’t come back to Texas.”

“Well when you guys act like this during a time that should be about love and family, do you really expect me to come back here? Come back to what exactly?”

“You don’t abandon your family, not the people who raised you and brought you into this world.” Is he fucking joking?

“I didn’t ask to be brought into this world, and I didn’t abandon anybody. I went to school. I went to learn. To be somebody.”

“The only thing you learned is how to be ungrateful for the life you’ve been given, the life me and your mom worked hard to give you. And now you repay us by ending our family lineage.” 

You’ve got to be kidding me.

“For the love of God, I don’t want children and I don’t care about getting married. Why won’t you get that through your thick heads?”

“Your responsibility is to continue the growth of the family, to be a respectable woman and a wife to a nice man. Yet you go to the city, doing drugs and partying, losing your faith and probably behaving indecently. Maybe you’ve become one of those queers, an even worse abomination.”

Your heart was hammering in your chest at your father’s words, straining to keep them out of your head. Emotionally, you’ve already grown detached from the man you unfortunately shared blood with, and your time away from home along with the therapy you’ve gotten has shown you just how much pain this man has caused you.

You knew better than coming back home. There was nothing left here for you. And there was nothing else left for you to say.

“Woah, Joseph. That ain’t the way to talk to your kid, c’mon. You don’t say those things to anyone, much less to her.” Joel chastised, holding one hand up in your defense and the other landing on your lap, sensing the angry trembles washing over you.

“Ain’t no kid of mine acting this ungrateful in my damn home! She’s free to leave and go back to her city if that’s what she wants.” Holding your head high and standing up, your chair scraped against the wooden floor, shooting daggers of hatred directly at your father.

“Fuck you.” The words came out of you so vehemently you couldn’t take them back, not that you wanted to. Your other family members gasped around the table, closely watching the showdown between you and your parents.

“Apologize to your father right now!” Your mother had definitely lost her mind, but it came as no surprise that she’d instantly coddle your father instead of giving you the support you needed since you were a little girl.

“I won’t. But I’ll do you a favor and go back to my lovely city. You can all go fuck yourselves.”

Not bothering to look back and hear the additional comments from your bigots of parents, you grabbed your jacket and swiftly threw it over you, taking your purse and heading for the door. Before you fully stepped out, you went into the kitchen, taking the bottle of rum Joel had brought and the apple pie, covering it with a plate and forcefully slamming the front door.

Slumping on the porch bench, you dug into your purse to find your phone to call an Uber back to your hotel. Right as you opened the app and began typing your hotel’s address, the front door opened and closed again, finding Joel now standing by the entryway.

“You alright?” He asked, walking towards you to sit beside you on the bench, his presence easing you in ways you desperately needed at the moment. You hid your emotions well, but you knew it was a matter of time before you broke down to release your storming emotions.

“I will be. Just trying to get out of here really.” You weren’t as bubbly as when you first came home, sagging into yourself and face frozen in a neutral expression despite your eyes telling a whole different story.

“Let me drive you back. It’s the least I can do after watchin’ you go through that.” You should’ve expected him to want to help you out, he always did when things at home got too much to handle.

“It’s alright Joel, I can just get an Uber. You shouldn’t have to leave because of me ruining everything.”

“You didn’t ruin anythin’, and I don’t really have plans of stayin’ with your family, not after how they treated you. I’d rather make sure you’re okay.” He squatted in front of you with a grunt, knees popping as his hands went to sandwich yours, an act of kindness you took graciously. “Please, let me drive you away from here for the night, somethin’ for your peace of mind.”

“It’s a bit more than a thirty minute drive to Dallas.”

“I don’t mind the drive. I’ll do it if that means you’re somewhere comfortable.”

You knew he didn’t have to do that, you could pay the $75 late night fee to find your way back to Dallas and be left alone for the next few days, thinking about whether or not you should pay more money to reschedule your flight back to New York earlier than you had anticipated. But Joel was here, offering you the generosity you had been deprived of for so long, you knew there was no other convenient choice.

“Alright, I’ll appreciate the ride.”

In the next few minutes, you found yourself in the front passenger seat of Joel’s truck, carrying the apple pie you stole in your lap and the bottle of rum securely by your feet. He played some music to try to mellow you out over the 30 minute drive back to Dallas, your phone ringing a few moments later, seeing your sister’s contact picture pop up on your screen. Sliding your thumb on the green phone button to answer the call, you held the phone to your ear, answering all of her sudden questions.

Hey. Yeah I left. Yeah yeah I’m fine, promise, nothing I can’t handle. Yes I’m safe, Joel’s taking me back, Ubers were too damn expensive. Of course I took the damn pie, they didn’t deserve to eat it after that. Sure, I’ll try to save you a piece and you can pick it up tomorrow. I’m not mad at you, you know how they get, I didn’t want you to get involved with them in my defense, I can handle them now. I probably won’t be back for the rest of the break, but we can hang out before I leave and you go back to Cali. Yeah, I’ll let you know. I love you too pipsqueak, stay safe.

Joel did you a favor by keeping quiet for the entire drive, staying focused on the road and taking the fastest route to the city. You weren’t necessarily in the mood to talk anyway, stuck in your head and tuning out the music playing in his car, thinking of other solutions to the mess of your night. Time flew by so quickly, Joel had begun pulling into the driveway of your hotel, putting the car in park and turning off the radio momentarily, bringing your attention back to him.

“Thanks Joel, for getting me out of there. I’m sorry for what happened, for my family acting the way they did.”

“Ain’t nothin’ to apologize for, family gets messy like that, I get it. It’s not your fault, just a shame they behaved that way durin’ the holidays.” Even if you didn’t ask for it, you appreciated his compassion. You just hoped the next thing you said didn’t ruin your current circumstances.

“You know, I didn’t eat much at dinner, and I have an entire apple pie and a bottle of rum to myself. Want to grab a bite and share it with me?”

You didn’t know what exactly you expected in his answer, but the small smile creeping on his face was all you needed to know you were in the clear.

“I wouldn’t mind some pie.”

After driving out to get some chicken tenders at a local spot that was still open and purchasing a full liter of coke, Joel took you back to your hotel, guiding him up the elevator and to your bedroom as he held the bag with your food. Taking your keycard from your purse, you inserted the small piece of plastic on the sensor by your door, opening it with a click.

The both of you leaned on your bed, munching away at your tenders and fries and sharing sips of watered down rum and cokes with cups provided by the hotel service. Your heels and belt were thrown to the floor, laying on your side while Joel was beside you, keeping his feet off of the bed, not trying to dirty your pristine sheets by mistake. The conversations between you flowed with ease, taking trips down memory lane and talking of all the moments you shared with each other while biting into the apple pie piece by piece. Sarah’s birthday parties and soccer games, high school prom, trips to the mall and sleepovers at the Miller’s household.

Being with Joel now at this very moment was the closest thing to normalcy you’ve felt since coming back to Texas after all of this time. If it were up to you, you would hold on to this feeling for as long as you could.

“Sarah told me she was thinking of coming back home next year, tells me she misses you a lot.” You mentioned to Joel, taking another swig of your mixed drink, losing count of what refill number you were on.

“She still has to figure out the whole transferrin’ of jobs from Chicago, especially with her boyfriend, but I won’t deny that the idea of havin’ my baby girl back home 'excites me.” The way Joel spoke of his daughter was always with pride, the love towards her evident in how his eyes brightened at the mere mention of her. Sometimes, you envied your close friend for having such a good relationship with her father, but you knew she was the most deserving individual you knew.

“I hope she does. I think it will be good for her, being back I mean.”

“I’m guessin’ you don’t feel the same about coming back here then?” You grew quiet at that, releasing a heavy sigh and swirling your cup around as you thought about your answer.

“My life in New York is different than it ever was here. It’s a huge lifestyle change, yes, a little chaotic moving to such a big city but…I’ve never been happier, never been more myself. It feels good, and I’ve worked too hard to lose that.”

Joel hums, sipping his drink in the same manner you did before, downing it completely and refilling again, looking into his cup to think of the proper words to comfort you.

“You worked hard to leave, to get out. If there ain’t nothin’ left here in Texas for you, then stay in New York, live your life, the life you want. Nobody should take that away from you, even your family.”

“I know that. It’s just, it’s hard not to feel guilty about it sometimes, leaving everything behind…dad’s still holding a grudge about it, if you couldn’t tell.”

“Family is a real messy thing, but just cause they’re your blood shouldn’t mean they dictate your whole life darlin’. You deserve to be happy, to thrive, and if it upsets them…well fuck ‘em.” His honesty made you chortle a bit, bashfully glancing at him to meet his softened gaze. “Besides, you have me and Sarah rootin’ for you always. Don’t matter the distance, we’re here for you even miles away.”

“I know. You guys have been there for me since the beginning, I don’t know how to repay you for that.”

“Nothin’ needs to be repaid. Only thing you should do is prioritize yourself and your career, everythin’ else can come afterwards. Relationships, kids if you want, all that can come after you’re settled in life.” If only it were that easy.

“Trust me, I’ve already made up my mind on kids, that’s an absolute no. Relationships are quickly finding their way on the no list too.”

“Damn, that bad huh?” You laughed under your breath, finishing the rest of your drink and reaching for the rum bottle for a refill, long passing the threshold of tipsiness. 

“You have no idea, Joel. But it’s alright, really, he was an asshole and I was just an idiot. I’ve made peace with it.” It was easier for you to say that compared to the actual healing process, the months worth of anguish from a broken heart put behind you once you were ready to move forward with your life.

“It’s a shame. A man disrespectin’ a pretty girl like you. Should knock some damn sense into him for lackin’ so much of it.”

Pretty girl.

“Would’ve been nice if you did that honestly. He deserved it.”

“I can fly back to New York if you want, rough him up real good.” If Joel was trying to make you feel better about your shitty night, he was doing a real good job of doing just that.

“No Joel, I don’t need to explain to Sarah why I had to bail you out of jail in the city. I have enough going on as it is.” The sound of lighthearted laughter filled the walls of your hotel room, the episode of some reality show you didn’t care for playing on the mounted TV in the background.

“Just sayin’, don’t let that one situation make you question your worth. Anybody would love to be with you, and if they don’t realize that, then they’re as blind as a bat.”

“You really think that?” You focused directly at him, his brown eyes landing on yours, taking in your facial features so intimately.

“I do darlin’. I really do.” From the soft tone he used when he said that, you could actually believe him. “You’re a lovely girl, I’m sure the right person will make you feel the way you deserve.”

“What about you?” You blurted out, the rum flowing through you lowered your inhibitions.

“What about me?”

“Are you one of those men that have sense?”

With how Joel had grown quiet, you would think you just fucked yourself over, making things weird between someone you’ve known for a large portion of your life. Yet he only stares off towards his feet, hesitant to meet your piercing gaze.

“I think under different circumstances, I wouldn’t hesitate to snatch you up, show you a good time. In another life maybe…”

“Why not this one?” At that, he almost snapped his neck to peer at you, the haziness in your pupils matching his own.

“Sweetheart…you know we can’t mess around that way. It ain’t right.” Of course he had to be the voice of reason. Fuck morality. Fuck holding yourself back. Fuck thinking so much about the hypotheticals until they smothered you in your sleep.

“It ain’t right to who exactly?”

“For starters, I’m a lot older than you, your parents would kill me.”

“Do you think I care what my parents have to say about me and my life choices? I stopped giving a shit about their opinions a long time ago.” You wanted to reason with him, to find a way to break his inner critic. “And you might be older than me, but we’re both consenting adults here. I’m not a kid anymore, Joel.”

“And what about Sarah? You’re close friends with my daughter, have been for a long time. Do you really want to risk your friendship just to be with an old man like me?”

“Joel…” You inched closer to him as he shakily sucked in a breath. “Sarah, well, yes we’re close, but she kinda figured out I’ve had a little crush on you for a while.” You were sincere when you had a little alcohol in your system, but your words continued to surprise Joel, giving him a sense of whiplash.

“You’re jokin’. Really? Since when?” As if it would be difficult to like a man like him.

“Remember when I came back to visit a few years ago for your mom’s birthday barbeque? You were wearing this stupid grilling shirt, and I think that was when my crush really sunk in for me. Thought you looked really cute.”

As you recalled the memory, you had a sheepish grin on your face. You could hear Sarah teasing Joel about his outfit on that hot summer day, embracing the title of barbecue dad like a badge of honor. He kept himself busy over the grill, flipping burgers and hot dogs as the brisket continued to cook in the smoker, authentic to the Texan cuisine you grew up with. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him that whole day, watching his throat bobbing with every sip of his beer, how he laughed loudly at something Tommy had said in passing, tossing his head back to show all of his pearly white teeth, both dimples on display. You could spot his softened tummy through the corny t-shirt he wore, his ass accentuated by the jeans he still managed to wear despite the burning sun.

You were long gone the moment he smiled at you, tilting the tip of his beer bottle towards you in salute.

“So you don’t think it’s a bad idea to try and kiss you?” You couldn’t hide the smirk on your face even if you tried.

“No, I don’t think so.” You drew nearer to him, carefully testing your boundaries with the man that had always been considered as a family friend. Placing a hand on his chest and messing with the collar of his flannel, you offered him a genuine smile. “I really want you to kiss me Joel.”

“Wouldn’t be kind of me if I kept you waitin’ any longer, right?”

Joel inclined towards you, hovering his mouth over yours and glancing between your eyes and your lips. Finally, he graced your lips with a kiss, cradling the back of your neck as his thumb caressed the spot behind your ear. He tasted like you expected, a mixture of rum and apple pie, a sweet combination garnishing your tongue.

Jerking on the collar of his flannel to bring him closer, you instinctively crawled into his lap, your legs on either side of his hips to sit comfortably on his pelvis. He grunted under his breath, a heavy hand now on your lower back, holding you by the waist while the other caressed your cheek. You willingly opened your mouth wider when his tongue teased over your lower lip, welcoming the wet muscle to curl around yours with a muted hum.

You spent a good while simply kissing Joel, sitting above him chest to chest with your hips gently grinding into his, feeling a bump growing under the confines of his thick jeans. He squeezed your hip and pulled away from you for some air, setting his forehead against yours as he huffed through his nose.

“Darlin’...this might be embarrassin’ but, it’s been a while since I did anythin’ like this.” Despite being in the same predicament as him, his confession only seemed to arouse you even more.

“Been a while for me too.” You admitted, stroking his chest through the soft material that covered him, thrumming your fingertips over his collarbone. Trailing your lips over his jaw and the side of his neck, you whispered in his ear. “I want to make you feel good.”

“You sure you want that?” If you looked at Joel long enough, you would see the slight blush painting over his features. “Don’t need to do anythin’ you don’t want to.”

“Positive.” One of your hands drifted to palm the bulge in his jeans, the groan rumbling in his chest made you clench around nothing. “Want you in my mouth. Please?”

“Alright baby, alright. Take what you want.”

With a grin you slipped away from Joel and eased down to your knees, letting him stand for easier access. Antsy fingers fumbled with the buckle of his belt, taking the leather strap out before yanking it off all in one go, tossing it behind you and popping the button of his jeans open to pull them down with his black briefs. His cock poked out for you to marvel at, hard and heavy as it was revealed to you. You concealed the moan that threatened to tumble out of your mouth at the sight.

You didn’t bother wasting any time teasing Joel, instantly pressing several kisses to his tip and the underside of his shaft, lavishing your tongue over the bulging vein under his length. In an instant, your lips circled over his throbbing crown, swirling your tongue around the circumference of him and slithering it over his slit. Breathing deeply in your nose, you took him into your throat on the next exhale, relaxing to take more of him, feeling him in the depths of your esophagus.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart. Are you tryin’ to kill me?” Joel rasped above you, bringing one of his large palms to hold the back of your head, palming your skull as you hummed around him.

Drawing your head back and timing your breaths, you adopted a forceful rhythm, bouncing your head with enthusiasm and clutching at the denim over Joel’s thighs. You lost yourself to your movements, glassy eyes staring up towards Joel, observing the way his head was thrown back in pleasure, his Adam's apple bobbing with every breath he struggled to have.

His thick fingers grasped at the hair on your head, keeping you in place and lightly thrusting into your mouth, chasing the feeling of your warm tongue stroking the underside of his cock. You encouraged his movements, unhinging your jaw and opening your mouth wider, your hands tugging on the back of his thighs to bring him forward. He eyed you closely, watching the tentative manner you held his gaze, an invitation for more.

“Gonna let me fuck up into that perfect mouth of yours, huh?” Joel croaked, yanking your head back to give you a forceful thrust, one you skillfully took and mentally prepared for with a swallow.

The man above you continued with his rough touch, bucking into your mouth with his heavy balls slapping into your chin, feeling every pant through your nose over the wet spit that covered his length. Your nails dug into his thighs, tears lining your lids as you felt the heavy weight on your tongue twitch, whirring in confirmation to coax Joel to fall over the edge, to feed you with his taste, something you’ve only dreamed of at the late night hour in private. The gruff moans coming from Joel dampened your panties, surely ruined by now as the material uncomfortably clung to your body.

“Shit…sweetheart I’m gettin’ close,” he didn’t need to confirm what you already knew, but you appreciated the notion anyway. You buzzed in affirmation, bobbing your head faster over Joel and taking a hand to knead over his balls, thumb pressing right into the crease between them, a primal growl pouring out of the older man as his vision went white.

“Fuuuuuck!” The sound Joel released as he came in your mouth would’ve been enough to bring you to the edge on your own. Your nose pressed into the coarse hair at the base, his musk overpowering your senses as you milked him for everything he had to give, happily drinking down his release with a gurgle. He didn’t need to shove your head down to keep his spurting cock down into your esophagus, you did it all on your own, hungry to every bit of him until he was running on empty.

With ease, Joel plucked you away from him, his softening cock slipping out of your mouth with a line of spit connecting you to his length. Giving the sensitive tip of him one last parting kiss, your lashes flapped upwards to meet Joel’s darkened brown eyes, now engulfed in black.

He pulled you to your feet and brought his lips to yours, chasing the taste of him in your mouth. You moaned against him, gripping the collar of his flannel and scratching at the nape of his neck, biting his plush bottom lip before he withdrew.

“Had I known it would feel like that, I would’ve made a move a while ago.” He cheesily said, making you giggle and place another kiss over his mouth.

“You can make up for lost time then,” you replied cheekily, humming at the way the tip of his nose ghosted yours. He brought you to stand fully before him, widening his legs and stuffing himself back into his briefs for the time being, leaving his jeans haphazardly unbuttoned.

“I sure can. Wanna see all of you now baby. Can I take this off of you?” God. Even the way he asked just to peel your clothes off of you was attractive, nodding enthusiastically.

His antsy fingers reached for your baggy sweater dress, lifting the material above your head in one fell swoop, careful not to ruin your makeup or hair further. He was kind enough to fold the dress and place it over on the farthest corner of the bed, the act bringing an airy giggle to your lips. As he turned to look at you, standing in front of him in your lace underwear set and pantyhose, he tried his hardest to suppress his audible moan of approval.

“Christ. Ain’t you a pretty thing.” He touched your waist, bringing you closer to him so he could nuzzle into your chest, placing affectionate kisses over the swell of your breasts. He meticulously reached for the bra clasp in the back, undoing it with finesse and tossing it to the floor. He stared at you in awe, rough graying stubble rubbing against the soft skin of your breasts, calloused thumbs stroking your stiffening nipples as you curved into his touch.

“I just know you taste as good as you look darlin’.”

Joel maneuvered you to lay on the mattress, your back bouncing a bit from the movement, waiting for Joel’s next move. He hovered above you, kissing your lips before moving to plant kisses down your neck and collarbone, shifting between the valley of your breasts and lining his lips with one of your nipples. Swirling his tongue around the stiff peak, he suckled at the nub, bringing a moan to your throat and a slight arch of your back, pinching and plucking at the other nipple. He pried away from your slick nipple and blew over the peak, drawing his attention to the other and doing the same, alternating his touch and attention.

Warmth pooled in your gut, gasping once Joel was ready to reciprocate the attention you had given him, grasping the flare of your hips and kissing down your sternum and lower stomach, running his chin over the waistband of your pantyhose.

“You better not think about ripping them.” You joked with him, seeing him smirk with a dimple popping in his cheek.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, unless you let me.” He jested right back, carefully taking hold of the waistband of your pantyhose and peeling them down your hips and thighs, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake.

You aided him in removing the fabric off your body with a kick of your foot, getting a kiss on your knee as a thank you. Joel took one more minute to appreciate the way you looked in your black lace panties, the soft wet flesh underneath barely covered by the material. Without hesitation, he hooked his fingers with the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down and tossing away the last article of clothing you had over your figure.

The sight of you bare with nothing obstructing his vision made Joel’s heart pang in his chest, the organ pumping between his ribs a tad bit harder as you spread your legs for his view, inviting him to take a good look at you.

“Fuck darlin’. Look at that.” He drawled, his voice dropping an octave as he noticed the slick skin of your glistening flesh, your clit peeking out from under its hood, twitching and desperate for his attention. “That’s for me baby? All from suckin’ my cock?” Joel Miller had a mouth on him, but you loved it.

“Yeah, I liked having you in my mouth.” You didn’t feel ashamed of the truth, sitting up on your elbows as one of your hands swam between your legs, spreading your lips for Joel to get a better close-up of the deep pink between your thighs. “Now I think you should repay the favor.”

He was so fucked.

Joel didn’t pause his movements, diving head first between your legs and licking a broad stripe up your cunt, groaning at the taste of you invading his mouth. His fingers clasped around your thighs, keeping you spread open for him as he feasted over your pussy, shifting his tongue over your twitching flesh, gathering as much of your arousal as he could get on his lips. His nose pressed into the sensitive nub of your clit, his tongue gliding lower to twist inside you, fucking up into you as you bucked your hips into his face.

“Taste so fuckin’ good darlin’. As ripe as a fuckin’ peach.” Joel commented in a muffled grouse between your thighs, eating away at you with added fervor.

He pulled away for some air, your arousal staining his chin and upper lip, marking your territory. His plump lips veered to your twitching clit, wrapping around the nub and swiveling his tongue over the tip much like you had done with his cock a few minutes prior. The act had you keening louder, one of your hands coming to tug at the graying curls on his head, clutching the strands in your fist to keep him sucking at your clit in attentive pulses.

“Fuck Joel. Yes, yes, that’s so good, feels so good.” He grumbled around your pussy in praise, taking it up a notch as one of his hands moved, his fingertips skimming your entrance and plunging two of his digits inside you, down to the knuckle.

You gasped from the added stretch, your walls pulsing around his fingers as you adjusted to the intrusion. If you were feeling like this from just his fingers, you couldn’t imagine how taking his cock might feel, how it will stretch you out from the inside. You twitched around him at the thought, craving the release he waved in front of you like a treat.

Joel thrusted his fingers in time with the sucking of his lips around your clit, pulling out his digits and burrowing them back in. In and out. In and out. A steady push and pull that made your thighs shake beside his head, your grip tightening between his hair and the bed sheets under you, hips jerking up into him, trying to take more of his fingers. He curled his digits on the next drive, hitting something divine that sent a shot of lightening up your spine, the pressure building in your belly as the rope of tension threatened to snap at any given moment.

You could feel yourself clenching around him, your walls tightening as you were brought closer to the edge than ever thought possible. Your cries turned breathless, airy whimpers pouring out of you in par with the arousal that seeped out of your cunt and onto the bed underneath.

“Joel…I’m so close.” The curve of your back deepended, the man on his knees before you sucking with more intensity, pressing his fingertips into the textured spot inside in faster pulses, the entirety of his mouth slurping the length of you.

“C’mon baby. Give it to me. I know she wants to spill for me, let me taste her.” Joel was determined to make you fall apart because of him, inserting a third finger for an additional stretch, the act of the blunt edge of his teeth scratching your slick pearl was your undoing.

You shook as you hit your limit, climaxing with Joel’s fingers never ceasing their lunging, milking your orgasm for what it was worth. Both of your hands were fastening the gray strands at Joel’s scalp, throwing your head back against the mattress and coming with a broken cry of his name, tears pricking the corner of your eyes at the pure euphoria that overwhelmed you from the force of your climax.

All too soon, your body grew limp on the mattress, Joel slipping his fingers out of your pussy and cleaning them off with his mouth. He placed one last parting kiss on your twitching clit, kissing around your mound and inner thighs in an attempt to soothe you, leaving another smooch over your hip and floating up your body before meeting your face. You blinked up at him, cheeks heated at the way his lips plumped up from the work they did, his lower face shining in the lighting of your hotel room from your arousal.

You tugged him down for a passionate kiss, winding your tongue around his, devouring the tangy flavor of your release coating his mouth.

“Need you to fuck me,” you begged hastily against him, sneaky fingers going to haul Joel’s flannel from his softened tummy, craving more of him. “Please, Joel.”

“Baby, I would, I want to… didn’t bring anythin’ with me. Wasn’t even thinkin’ about doing somethin’ like this.” Ever the considerate man, of course he would be thinking about protection. Frankly, you could care less.

“Got tested a while ago and I’m covered. It’s fine, Joel. Trust me.” You bargained with him, sense thrown out the window as you clenched around nothing, wanting to be claimed and taken by the man you’ve fantasized about since going away for college, the man you’ve compared every previous partner to since the beginning. “Just want to feel you.”

“You will darlin’, you will. Not gonna leave you runnin’ on empty now. Not while I’m right here.”

Joel swiftly removed his jeans and briefs in one piece, hard cock bouncing between his legs as he undid the buttons of his flannel, peeling it off with your help. You released a lighthearted giggle when one of his arms got stuck in his white undershirt, mimicking your laugh and smirking at the appearance of your smile. His knees sank into the fluffy comforter of the bed underneath you, large hands taking hold of your hips and towing you closer to the edge.

“Thought that was funny?” he bantered above you, kissing your lips and enjoying the reciprocation of his actions, his length twitching beside your thigh.

“Maybe. It was cute…” you murmured, hand taking hold of him to pump his shaft with a jerk of your wrist, a shaky exhale falling from his lips. “Are you done teasing me now?”

“I might be. You’re gettin’ desperate?”

“For you to fuck me? Yes, I am.” Your thumb swiped over his tip, the sticky precum wetting your digit. “Been waiting too damn long.”

“Then put me inside darlin’. Let me feel you.”

You positioned him over your aching cunt, his hips thrusting over the seam of your pussy, sticky tip grinding into your sensitive clit. He felt good like this, mind running on empty imagining what he would feel like inside you. You didn’t have to imagine too much when his tip bumped into your entrance, his hips tentatively rolling to plunge into your waiting warmth, your hands jumping to clutch his freckled bicep. Joel didn’t stop pushing into you until he was down to the hilt, balls deep and groaning at the feel of your walls pulsing around his thickness, adjusting to his size.

Eyes beating closed, Joel put more of his weight on his forearms, breathing heavily through his nose to calm himself down, not focusing too much on how warm and wet you felt, wanting to last and make this experience good for you. Meanwhile, you had already lost all focus, the depth of him could be felt in your chest, widening your pelvis just to accommodate him.

“God, Joel,” you practically mewled under him, clamping around him once more, forcing Joel to open his eyes on you.

“Sweetheart, don’t…fuck don’t do that…” he panted, pinning your hips down into the mattress to keep you in place, trying not to cum too early. “Ain’t gonna make me last.”

“Just fuck me,” Joel had started to slowly bump into you, pulling his hips back and leaving half of him outside of you to plunge back inside, savoring the gasp you gave him. “Fuck me.”

“Look at you, already beggin’ for it. You like my cock that much darlin’? Like havin’ this old man fuck you right?”

“Yes.” Your wispy reply made Joel chuckle, a deep rumbling you felt inside you as he kept his steady pace. “So fucking deep.”

“Yeah? Feel me deep in ya?” You nodded dumbly, his forehead pressing into yours, your eyebrows furrowing as he hit that delicious textured spot tucked in the roof of your canal. Your legs wrapped around his waist, accepting his passionate kiss, unabashedly moaning into his mouth.

Joel began to pick up the pace, pouring all of his energy into the drives of his hips, listening to the high pitched whimpers that came out of you. He leaned forward a bit more, his hands raising the underside of your thighs, allowing him to slip just a tad deeper inside you. The angle brought a cry punching through your lungs, squirming under him from his consistent thrusts.

The hotel room filled with sounds of skin slapping, his heavy balls slapping into you, your slick covering the length of him every time he fucked into you, letting your pussy taste every gracious inch he had to give. You were getting close again, pawing at Joel’s broad chest and tightening your hips around his waist. He kept his deep and precise pace, sending the tip of him kissing your cervix with every pound.

“Joel,” you whined out, glassy eyes struggling to focus on him as your pussy grew taught around him, the tell tale signs of your pending orgasm creeping up on you, building in intensity as the hair at the base of him grazed your tender clit with every grind.

“I know, I know. Can feel you flutterin’ around me.” His words made you whimper, clutching at him harsher, your deep crimson nails creating fresh streaks down his back, leaving your mark for him to admire in the morning. “Let me feel it darlin’, need you to cum around me. C’mon baby, c’mon.”

With his gentle coaxing and a bite to the side of your jaw, you fell apart for him a second time, a wail resounding the walls of the bedroom, silently praying that the walls were relatively sound proof. Joel fucked you through your release, an audbile squelch filling the room as you soaked his cock, your thighs quivering as he milked your orgasm to finality.

“That’s it. That’s my fuckin’ girl.” His praise brought heat to your face and the tip of your ears, heart lurching at the thought of being his girl. “Fuck, where do you want me sweetheart?”

“Inside,” you pleaded meekly, head bouncing limply as he pounded harder into you, letting him use your cunt for his own release, making an effort to clamp around him as an invitation, wounding your legs tight around him with whatever strength you had left.  “Please Joel. Fill me.”

“Christ. That fuckin’ mouth,” Joel was heaving now, sweat dripping down his brow and the bridge of his nose as his climax grew to profound heights, a tingling in his lower back that he could feel in his balls. “Gonna fill this pussy up ‘till you feel me tomorrow.”

Two more drives and Joel growled as he came inside you, his spend dribbling into every crevice and you took it all with a fucked out smile. You whizzed as your body tingled from the aftermath of fucking Joel Miller, a family friend that was significantly older than you, not like you cared all too much. Joel struggled to keep upright after his vigorous orgasm, pulling you with him as he laid down on his side, facing you.

“You alright?” Joel asked you once you gained your bearings, his palms rubbing your cheeks and keeping you present in the moment during your comedown.

“Mhm. Can’t really feel my legs.” You conceded with a grin, Joel following through and wearing the same blissful expression on his face.

“Means I did my job right then.” Tired chuckles replaced the sounds of panting, basking in the weightless feel of laying next to Joel like this.

He kept his palm on your cheek, caressing your heated skin and running his fingers over your jaw as you breathed in and out. You don’t recall a time where you ever felt this good, where you felt truly satisfied after being with someone or giving somebody access to your body in such a passionate way. Had you known you would’ve gotten that from Joel Miller of all people, you would’ve made a pass at him a long time ago and saved yourself the trouble of wasting your time with your mediocre ex.

A voice nagged in the back of your head, the echo of wondering what comes after this. You wondered what Joel was thinking in his foggy subconscious, if the post-coitial clarity was starting to hit him and he was second guessing what you two had done. You didn’t want the guilt to kick in just yet, to imagine the consequences and have them ruin the perfect manifestation of your biggest fantasy. You’ll both figure it out somehow, like you always did, right now, all you wanted was to enjoy Joel for as long as he’d allow.

“I wouldn’t mind having you stay the night, sleep off the rum and apple pie before you go home.” It was a flimsy suggestion, half serious and half not, but as you looked directly into those chocolate orbs of his, watching them soften at your inexplicit question. His lips turned upwards then, your heart hanging on to hope that maybe, you weren’t asking for too much.

“Yeah, I reckon that’s a good idea darlin’.” He leaned forward to kiss you again, much softer than how he had just rendered you boneless.  “Like I said, you were always a smart one.”

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Dividers by @/saradika-graphics

[iateyourparents]

MORE JAKE PLS

Maybee like doing a stream with him in the car or filming a video where he takes us shopping and buys everything for us kinda like the vid where he ‘becomes’ johnnies ‘sugar daddy’ and we share a lil kiss hehehehe :3

sugar daddy | j.w.

pairing: jake webber x fem!reader

summary: jake records a new video for his channel with you.

warnings: use of y/n, short, jake being little rich boy, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry, english isn’t my first language)

an: thankss love! i’m not sure if i’m content with how it turned out but i hope you like it <33

pictures are from pinterest :)

“Today I’m gonna be the hottest American sugar daddy once again!” Jake started his video “But today my sugar baby is my girl, y/n!” you waved to the camera “How do you feel?”

“Already spoiled.” you laughed.

“Yeah, cause he totally doesn’t buy you everything you want without camera too.” Johnnie snorts from behind the camera and you laugh at that too.

It’s true, Jakes loves to spoil you without any reason. It’s tuesday? Here’s earrings that you were looking at on Monday. You’re on your period? I ordered you those shoes that you said were pretty. You loved it about Jake but also it made you feel bad that you don’t buy him as many things as he buys for you, but like he always says, if he wasn’t supposed to spoil you then he wouldn’t have so much money.

“Everything for my baby.” Jake shrugged with wide smile “So where do you wanna go first?”

“Zara?” you offered and he nodded. Then he took your hand and started to lead you towards said shop while talking to the camera about how buying you pretty things, somehow makes him happy.

“Alright, any plans on what are we looking for?” Jake asked you.

“Yeah actually, I saw this pretty skirt on their website and I would like to try it on.” you said “Also, I saw the cutest sweater with little hearts.”

“Aww, let’s get it, I’m sure you will look great.” Jake stated and on your way to the sweaters area he took few things that he thought would look great on you. And well, he wasn’t wrong.

Your next stop was at hot topic where he bought you some things without even consulting it with you first but like he said, he wanted it to be a surprise for you.

Then you went to eat something and you were sure his fans would be making a kiss count in the comments with how many kisses he stole from you and how many pecks he left all over your face.

Few more stores and you were done recording. You had seven bags with things he bought you and you really felt bad for his wallet but he only waved his hand stating that it was a pleasure for him and he wouldn’t mind doing it again, but you obviously didn’t agree for that. He already bought you too many things and you weren’t sure if you ever would be able to pay him back for how much he spoiled you, both with material things and with love and kisses.

He was perfect.

So when next day he came back home, you surprised him with a dinner, dessert, few presents and much love.

“You know, I don’t know what I ever did to deserve someone like you.” He stated when you were cuddling in bed.

“You? I don’t know what I did so right that I got you.” you giggled.

“You’re just perfect.” his smile couldn’t be wider “I actually ordered you those cute heels with bows.”

“Jake…” you squinted your eyes at him “You’re insane, did you see how much they cost?”

“Yeah. But it’s just money. It will come back but you deserve it.” he kissed your forehead.

“You should cancel the order anyway.” you lightly slapped his chest.

“No way.”

And well, Jake wouldn’t be opposed spending all his money on you if you would pay him back like that.

[malereadermaniac]

Jealousy looks good on you ~ Kit Connor x Male Reader

So you guys LOVED my last Kit post so here's another one - mild jealousy, Fluff and dating 'headcannons' word count: 850 m!reader (no genitalia mentioned) / FDNI

Before Dating

The two of you were best friends

In the most platonic way, you two were practically already dating

Kit and you were close since Y7

The two of you would cling onto each other, the gingers hands were almost always on your waist if yours weren't on his shoulders

You would sleep round Kit's house every weekend, then he would sleep round on most weekdays "because your house is closer to college"

When one of you got into a relationship, it went one of two ways:

If Kit got into a relationship, the girl would get jealous of you within a week, Kit would get mad at her and they'd break up in a month tops

It was always weird for Kit when he got into a relationship, he'd never really LOVE her, but he just put it down to him being young

What he knew was that he didn't like how his girlfriends treated you, and he hated how because he was in a relationship, you would back off with the clinginess

One time, a new girlfriend of his was alone with Kit, and when he brought you up, she said "Oh that f*g? You're like, actually, friends with him?" - that was the first and last time he'd shouted at a girl

The second option is you getting into a relationship, Kit gets insanely jealous, side comments about your boyfriend and going silent when you would bring him up - totally platonic

Kit would get even clingier, like snuggling his face in your neck "Cause he's tired"

The ginger would even crash your dates 'on accident'

Your boyfriend at the time would go mad, Kit fucking loved it, you were his best-friend after all

But all of his 'platonic' jealousy paid off when the guy broke up with you, and Kit was your shoulder to cry on

He felt bad, but he loved being your comfort, he didn't want anyone else to be as good of a friend to you as he was...

Kit knew he was Bi since Y10, what you didn't know was that you're the reason he knew that

After many failed relationships, the ginger realised that he'd much prefer to be in a relationship with you than any other girl in your year

After all, he had broken down once when you canceled plans to go on a date with your bf - like he cried and all, that must of been his first sign that he wasn't as straight as he thought

And after his glow-up in Y13 (not that he needed one, my god), you fell for him too - HARD

Dating

Kit is the most jealous type of man ever

And you fucking love it

Usually it's really little things, like his hand tightening around yours when an attractive guy is talking to you

Or holding you closer when an ex tries to talk to you

He isn't toxic about it at all

When kit gets jealous he talks to you about it - it's so attractive

However, the last time he got jealous was intense

The two of you were out, not specifically on a date, but just enjoying each other's company

The calm and enjoyable atmosphere was interrupted by your most infamous ex

Kit hated him and his guts

That cunt ruined you, and no matter how much Kit loved to comfort you, this dickhead went overboard

And he had the guts to keep in touch with you!?

As you and your ex chatted, he started to obviously flirt with you

You laughed his remarks of as Kit pulled you closer to him

After a while, Kit had, had enough of him

"Hate to interrupt but can't you see we're on a date here, mate?"

Fuck you loved it when Kit went full on Britt

He rarely did that, but it made your face darken slightly with a blush

"Alright mate no need to be dick, bye (y/n), ill see ya round"

You say nothing, just roll your head towards Kit and look up at him with a cheeky smile

"What?!" He asks defensively

"Nothing... jealousy just looks good on you" you tease tour ginger boyfriend

"Oh shut up" he chuckles, his muscular arm around your waist tightly as he leans his head into your neck

It's crazy how such an attractive man gets so jealous for you, but you love it

The built ginger gets possessive obviously, however that's more in the bedroom than in daily life

He always prefers secluded areas for dates, fields or the comfort of your own home

Mainly because of his new found fame, but the man also likes to keep you to himself

Kit also tries to impress you so much, the ginger feels the need to be the centre of your attention at all times

He'll lift you up to show off his strength, subtly show off his muscles or mention his paycheck for last month

You play into his little games and act all wooed and impressed, and he lives off of it.

Also, mini rant:

Can I just say how fucking annoying it is to search "jealous male reader" and every post is Yandere and shit??? Like bro I want jealousy in the sense that I feel wanted not always 'death' and 'darling' and shit. Rant over <3

[sweetadonisbutbetter]

Could you maybe do a child reader x Ozzie and fizzy? The details are up to you, I just want them to be my dads! Thanks❤️

AWE OMG ☹️☹️☹️☹️ MY FIRST OZZIE AND FIZZ ASK BLOWS UP (i love them a normal amount) YES!!! This will be more in a headcanon bc I have so many thoughts and if this was a fic i think i would spend a year on it LMFAOO- Reader will be around 11-13! Slightly older kid but still a kid at the end of the day!! Also because my tiktok feed is filled with lamb girl reader will also be a lambkin!! A good portion of the beginning is me explaining the lamb demon premise lol

To be love is to be changed | Fizzmodeus x Child! GN! Reader

Relationship: Familial Warnings: None!! Pretty fluffy!!

You weren’t the typical demon, looking more like the sheep in the overworld than any demon in hell. 

Soft fluffy wool covered your body, save for your face. Your rounded snout and big eyes with semi-long lashes differed from the other hellborn children. Black hooved for feet and hands, making it slightly inconvenient to do day-to-day tasks, however, your kin adapted. Visibly the image or purity in a place of debauchery. Seemingly the only speck of light in a place that was consumed with darkness.

Fizz was the one who found you in the greed ring, taking you in after seeing you steal from a Shark Demon. He liked the balls you had to do that (and was insanely worried that something would happen to you if you got caught.)

Since Fizz welcomed you with open arms, and you weren’t that much of a threat (you are literally a child lol), Asmodeus opened you with even wider arms.

Ozze is the mom while Fizz is the dad. Nothing you can say will change my mind on that.

While Fizz does fret over you, it is nothing compared to Ozzie. If Ozzie is at work and gets pulled aside to be told that you hurt yourself or are sick, he will cancel his show and head home immediately.

While Ozzie is a worryrat, he isn’t a helicopter parent. He actually believes that you need your independence, especially since you aren’t that young. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the hell version of Life 360. He tracks your ass so much that if he gets the low battery notif, he is calling you to tell you to charge your phone. 

Fizz on the other hand is more of the chaotic parent. As in you both are banned from the kitchen, both separately and alone. To make a long story short, it started with the fork on fire and escalated to the hallway mat being singed. If you look under the replacement mat, you can still see the scorched marks of soot that were just too hard to get out. But that doesn’t mean Fizz can’t be stern with you. If anything, you prefer it when Ozzie is stern, since it is a little eerie to you when his smile isn’t there. 

Do not be fooled, while they will give you some of the things you want. you will not be spoiled insanely. You still have to pick up around your room (they told the staff not to clean your room), and in turn, you get an allowance so you can buy the things you want. 

If you try to hustle them and tell them that the other hasn’t paid you to get double the amount, literally do not get caught. They won’t pay you for your next allowance LMFAO.

In the beginning, you only called them Fizz and Ozzie, which they respected. It made sense in their heads since they weren’t really your dads, and they kinda just picked you off the streets. However when you got comfortable enough to refer to them as your dads? They were over the moon and cried to each other. 

How you approached the topic with them was by having them sit down in the living room with you.

Ozzie and Fizz were sitting down on the couch as you paced the floor. You had invited them to the living room stating that you needed to talk and asked them to sit. Albeit they were very confused as to what you needed to talk about, and seeing the worry on your face, didn’t really help with the nerves. They were holding one another’s hand as a comfort. There was a brief moment where you stopped and looked at them, before turning and beginning to pace again. Fizz and Ozzie looked at one another, asking if the other knew what was going on and denying it.

“Uhh…Kid?” Fizz starts after a bit, looking back at Ozzie for a moment before he looks back at your pacing figure. “Is everything alright?”

Instead of answering, you stopped and looked at the two of them. You left the room, furthering their confusion. It didn’t take long for you to come back with a laptop, the same one they had gifted you after a month of your stay. You connected it to the TV and put on display a PowerPoint.

“REASONS AS TO WHY YOU SHOULD ADOPT ME AND LET ME CALL YOU MY DADS.”

You had made a PowerPoint to talk to them and ask them if it was okay if you could call them dad

In said PowerPoint, you gave all the reasons (most of which said that you were awesome) and benefits of adopting you (benefits were that they get a cool kid in turn). You also went over the possible dad name variations for them and the reasons behind them. You even gave the origins of the names which amused Fizz to no end.

To make a long teary heartfelt story short, they adopted you. 

However, they had to do so in a way that didn’t get the media’s attention. Just because they were celebrities and figureheads, doesn’t mean they want you in the spotlight. Rather they agreed to wait until you were either close to being or were an adult to even announce that you were their kid (if you wanted to).

This also means that if you wanted to go out, you couldn’t go out with either of them, since the media knows that they were together, it wasn’t too far out of the picture for them to have a kid. This also extends to you not going to hospitals, rather they get a physician to come to their place and check on your health. It is this whole thing where they have a security check the doctor for any decisions or any stuff that could record your existence. (Said physician is threatened that if anything about you was leaked, they would hunt him down personally.) So sadly not a lot of days out together, however, they make up for it with at-home movie nights, game nights, and even sleepovers.

Very keen on your privacy, both in the public and at home. They always knock and make sure to not do anything to cross any of your boundaries. 

Ozzie has to be careful not to talk about too much of his work around you. You may not be a little kid, but you are still a kid and he believes that no kid should be exposed to his field so early in their life. Fizz is also careful not to talk about Ozzie’s work and doesn’t go too in-depth about Mammon’s treatment around you. 

If you are prone to nightmares, they will both personally comfort you. Even if you feel silly about it, since in your tween mind, you are too old to have your dads wait for you to fall asleep because you were too scared, they don’t mind. They will drop whatever they are holding if it means making you comfortable. 

Overall very lovely parents, and they love you dearly. With you in their lives, they feel that they have changed for the better and they cannot imagine their lives without you. Seeing you as their shining light, as they continue to raise you, they hope that your bright light never diminishes.

omg dude i rewrote this so mant times because the first attempts were kinda depressing bawling NAYWAYS IM SO HAPPY WITH HOW THIS CAME OUT AND HOPE U GUYS ENJOYED HEHE

[envy-of-the-apple]

I'm 99% sure it was called "Forever Yours" and it was a yandere oneshot series basically of a ton of popular anime boys from the time. The ones I remember were the Tokyo Ghoul dude, there were some Death Note guy chapters, there was the ML from Kamisama kiss, OH and the white haired guy from Psycho-Pass. There were like 50 chapters. It had probably a million likes or something it was INSANELY popular.

Ryntymy also had some other ongoing fics (and a ryntymny/reader crack fic, god, love them for that), but god it's soooo hard to remember.

i DID find a post about one of the fics i knew of that was actually REALLY GOOD that you would have LOVED (it was very similar to saltburn although it's quotev so this yandere was ofc pretty tame):

https://www.reddit.com/r/Quotev/comments/1b652gu/trying_to_find_old_x_reader_fic/

as for what's still up... hm. i do remember parallel ink, and also psychadelic peanut (they had this really trippy izaya fic):

https://www.quotev.com/story/9754667/Unfortunate-YandereIzaya-Orihara-x-Reader/1

AH parallel ink wrote kingdom of possession, which i DO remember:

https://www.quotev.com/story/6759314/Kingdom-of-Possession-Yandere-King-x-Reader

and there was this one series that was ACTUALLY quizzes, which was neat:

https://www.quotev.com/quiz/8085561/Out-of-Sight-Out-of-Mind

this one was a pretty fun sort of mystery style thing:

https://www.quotev.com/story/11260294/Seesaw/1

and this one was like. formative for my longing for pathetic masochistic men. i wasn't super into it back then but THE SEEDS WERE PLANTED:

https://www.quotev.com/story/8901227/Then-Came-You-Sadistic-Reader-x-Yandere-Character-One-Shots/2

SEESAW????? I lovedddd that fic so so much ahhhh it was amazing!!! the fic put me in so much denial cuz i was like 'its him! wait no its not him? wait it IS him? no wait-' very very entertaining

speaking of murder mystery yandere fics...there was this one where the reader was isekaid onto a train and quickly pieces together that all of the passengers resemble ppl from this book they read years ago...except they cant remember the ending aka they dont know who the murderer is. pretty sure the author deleted it but it was good!

its so funny you mention psychedelic peanut cuz i remember they got canceled???? actually...pretty sure parallel ink did too...as well the rest of their clique....and thats why i zipped outta the quotev yandere community!

actually that one aot isekai i was talking about was hosted on quotev! pretty much the height of literature, there's no competition. if i dont find it im just tempted to just rewrite it.

Curse of a Broken Promise is still up there and i think it still holds up! its a yandere kaneki ken fic and the writing is so....whimsical? idk how to explain it but it whenever i read it i always felt so sad. good read!

Imperishable affection (yandere!mafioso x reader) is ALSO written by the same author. basically yandere mafia boss guy threatens you into loving him or else your family dies yada yada so ofc the mc does. for a quotev yandere fic its pretty dark actually.

You Need Me (Yandere Manipulator x reader) THIS was the fic that brought me into the yandere thing. and the author used to update EVERY day so this whole this was an event. and the TWIST i remember being 14 and gasping like 'omg he did EVERYTHING???' very very good

If you want a izayax reader fic whos author WASNT wierd might i suggest Twisted Obsession. Beautiful writing. Its better than most ao3 writing actually and wayyy above mine. I love the way this author characterizes Izaya in this and the backstory for why hes so strange is pretty believable. like i fully believe it should be canon.

Savior Complex is an aot isekai where the mc gets whisked into a yandere sim where Petra is the love interest and the rest of the aot cast is obsessed with her. but we can all guess what happens. pretty good tho!!!

BUT EVERYONE GO READ PRETTY its a gojo x LATINA READER AHHHHHH YESSSS. i just LOVE LOVE LOVE the way this author writes. its so poetic and there's so much left up for interpretation.

[honey-flustered]

Kinktober Day 12: Coulrophilia + DDLG

Joker!Ghoul-ish!Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Harley Quinn!Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut, dark!cooper & dark!reader, tame ddlg, coulrophilia (attraction to clowns), Freaky crazy clowns, toxic af relationship, age gap, yandere x yandere, 60s Gotham-like AU, Reader was Cooper’s TV Daughter, Cooper has a joker-like backstory, joker and harley references. Reader has Harley Quinn-like backstory, violence, blood kink, fingering, squirting, kissing, lots of pet names (sugar, princess, sweetheart, etc.), they are very bad people, curvy/short!reader

Summary: You are the partner in crime of a dangerous man known as “The Ghoul”; a half-monstrous, half-human clown prince of crime. He also happens to be your “Daddy” too.

A/N: I’m keeping up with the ghoul-ish theme for Cooper for kinktober to go with idea I have of him where he kinda looks like dabi from bnha where like he’s half-radiation burned and other half- human. Hope yall see the vision cause I’ve thought about how cool that would be for a while.

Cooper was once a good man. A simple family man. In fact, he was on the screens of every family in America—regarded as one of the greatest movie stars of all time.

But then…he had a bad day and all it takes is one bad day to bring the most sanest man alive to the brink of insanity. Just one fateful decision that would eventually lead to one long comically bad day.

Picture this: Cooper is at the point in which he’s tired of being lied to and kept in the dark from his wife’s work with Vault-Tec. Unable to keep away, He sneaks into the private and heavily secured facility, gathering damning intel along with the sinister truth. In a slip-up during a security round of a particular unit, Cooper found himself trapped in and ended up falling into a vat of chems that injured him beyond recognition.

He was sure to die. He thought he would. But when he woke up in the hospital not only did this confirm otherwise but it also confirmed that he’d been caught. And from there a series of losses began in just the spiral of a day. His wife was leaving him, taking their only daughter, his last credited role was from a now canceled TV series; and he’d even lost his dazzling looks.

He was now a ghost of himself. A ghoul. Parts of his human form were overshadowed by the singed flesh that encased large parts of him. Like a Frankenstein’s monster of sorts.

He’d tried being a good man. A simple family man. But look where that path has led him. This world wasn’t built for men like him. And so he gave in to the dark parts of himself.

It’s funny how the world knows just who to send into your life to completely flip it upside down because you thought you’d never see Cooper again. In a way, you could say that you were right. Because sitting right across from you—that isn’t the wholesome TV Dad you’ve had the pleasure to work with…oh no, he is ‘The Ghoul’.

There he is before you; red stained lips painted into a wicked smile, green-dyed hair slicked back in a suave style, smoking a cigar and looking like the mafia boss that he is despite wearing the all white clothing associated with the asylum. The bottom half of his face from his bottom lip and jaw down to neck and shoulders are web-like flesh stapled together like he’d been built up like a puzzle. Somehow, he’s still so very handsome.

“Look ‘atcha,” He smirks, ogling you up and down. “My, my…you’ve grown. Even got yourself that psychology degree you’ve been tellin’ me you wan’ed to go back to school for. Proud of ya, kid.”

“Thank you, Mr. Howard,” You say before adjusting your glasses and leaning forward. “I was rather intrigued when I heard that I’d get to meet the new you. Colleagues told me it’d be a bad idea taking you as my patient considering how much I’ve once looked up to you.“

He chuckles. “Ya know, the universe can be quite the prankster. You remember that lil’ joke I made about bein’ a patient of yours someday…” The chains from the metal cuffs around his wrists rattle when gestures to himself. “I reckon I shoulda specify what kind of patient I’d be.“

“It’s a shame we have to meet under these circumstances. But I’m glad we’ve crossed paths.” You say.

“Oh?” He asks, leaning in as well. “Why’s that, sugar?”

“Because I want to help you.” You simply say.

“I already know I’m fuckin’ crazy, sweetheart. I don’t need a shrink to talk my ear off ‘bout it.”

“No, Mr. Ghoul, I want to help you…burn Vault-Tec to the fucking ground,” You clarify. “And when there’s nothing left, I want to dance on its ashes. I want to reveal the evil truth to the people and start a fucking revolution. I want chaos. Anarchy. And I want…I want to be with you.”

You slip your fingers into one of your thigh-high stockings and pull out a key you retrieved from an unsuspecting prison guard. Cooper watches on as you remove his cuffs with a pleased yet astonished expression. You tenderly rub the indented marks on his wrist. “I’ve always loved you. Even before we’d ever met—I was your biggest fan.”

He stands with an aura of intimidation and raw assertion, an intense gaze in his eyes as he saunters closer to you. You quickly rise to your feet, anticipating his embrace.

Cooper’s large hands shoot up around your neck, squeezing. Not hard enough to cut off any air circulation but just enough to drag your body against his.

He plants a messy kiss onto your lips. There’s teeth nipping at the soft, plush of your lips and his thick tongue lick the surface and the inside of your mouth. It’s so sloppy and purposefully so and you don’t care how freaky it is.

You are sure by now that his white face paint and the crimson shade of his lips have now transferred to your lips. Or could it be blood from the little nick he’d given you on your lips. You aren’t sure but it only added on to your arousal.

He pulls away, blood staining lips and just beneath his nose. “Well, I’m sure glad you chose to come home to daddy because if you weren’t by my side—why I’d just have to kill ya,” He laughs, removing a hand from your neck to cradle the back of your head. “Thatta girl. Now let’s get outta this shithole.”

“I know a secret exit we can—”

“Sorry, sugar, but I’d rather leave with a bang,” He winks suggestively, taking you by the arms to face you away from him and bend you over the table; the side of your face is pressed against the cold metal. You feel his erection weighing hot and heavy against your ass as he lays himself over you for a moment, lips against your ears to growl a command. “Don’t hold back yer screams for me, princess. Let ‘em all hear what I’m doin’ to ya.”

Just as you feel your lace panties being pulled to the side, four guards come barging into the room and shout for his compliance.

“Get the fuck off of her.” One guard shouts, laying a heavy hand on the Ghoul’s shoulder. Ghoul’s military training comes into play as he uses the very key that set him free to repeatedly jab into the accessible and vulnerable armpit of the guard.

He cries out in pain nursing the wound that now bleeds profusely and too distracted by this he fails to protect his gun, allowing Cooper to lift it from his belt and shoot into the shoulder of another guard who’d drawn his gun at him. In a shocking twist, you witness one prison guard turn on his last fellow guard, shooting him right in the knees.

“What about the girl?” The traitor prison guard questions, pointing a weapon against your head as you remain trembling against the table. You’ve never seen anything like this!

The ghoul steals a handkerchief from a prison guard who’d been struggling to reach his radio strewn across the room. Cooper nonchalantly wipes away the excess blood on his hands before picking up his cuban cigar from the ashtray. You awaited in nervous anticipation as he decided to take a draw from it instead of answering him, bellowing out the smoke in your direction and clouding your view of him for a few seconds.

His hard gaze begins to soften, charming you with his famous smile. “She’s just dandy to me.”

He holds a hand out to you and you squeal with glee, standing up on wobbly knees to jump into his arms.

“Come on, sugar. We’ve got some catchin’ up to do,” He holds you tight against him before indiscreetly whispering to his minion. “Finish the job, will ya? But do it only after we leave the room. Wouldn’t want to traumatize my princess ‘less it’s done by my hand.”

“You got it, boss.” The minion says. And withthat the Ghoul carries you over the threshold of what was once your own prison in a metaphorical sense.

The Ghoul makes do with his promise and causes a huge debacle within the asylum. By the time you’d both leave the building, it was like a circus. There were patients everywhere running amuck with doctors and nurses failing to control them, alarms going off, and you think there might have even been a fire started. It was perfect.

Outside a limo awaits the two of you, it looks like he’d been planning his escape all along. Whether that included you, you didn’t care. He may not be the same Cooper you fell for, the one whom you once saw as a father figure—Hell, he’s batshit fucking insane but somehow it makes your heart beat a mile a minute and the attraction only triples but his new appearance.

You pull him for yet another kiss, flames in the background are like fireworks. You could get lost in it if it weren’t for the damn police and fire truck sirens going off.

“Looks like that’s our cue to scram.” He opens the door for you which is interesting that he can still be so chivalrous. You smile just like the princess he names you to be and you enter and never look back.

Now you are a part of that darkness, feeding each other’s wickedness. The two of you have shed your clothes and in turn shed those identities. No longer did he don the all white clothing of an asylum patient. When he looks into the mirror —past the charred half of his flesh- he sees that of a crime-lord with weapons hung close to his body as if it were an accessory to his pin-striped suits. And you’d shed your past life, burning your white lab coat. You were now his and he, yours. And of course as a daddy’s girl, you’d do anything to mirror his image, adapting his twisted clown aesthetic.

Newspapers had a field-day writing about your descent to madness from America’s sweetheart to the other-half of a crazy crime duo. They call it a match made in hell, you call it the greatest love story ever.

But sometimes it does get exhausting when you want to spend time with your lover when there’s so many factors that prevents you from spending time with him! Vault-Tec, Vigilantes, Betrayers, and Barb! Just thinking about her makes you angry.

Why can’t they all just let you enjoy your chaotic lives in peace?!

Currently, The Ghoul is handling a business transaction with an informant from Vault-Tec who made claims of a nuclear war in the making with a plan to make the middle class pay for it. You’re more than happy to set your plan in motion to create a threatening video message to the company using the informant as a hostage, hoping you’ll finally get some time with Coop but he wants to take things slow.

“It’s chess not checkers, darlin’.” He’d comment and you’d just have to accept it. But today was meant to be your anniversary and he’d decided to take time out of your day to do business!

You claw your acrylics through the newspaper you’d been reading with an old picture of Cooper and Barb on the front page with a headline about their once fiery romance. That was the last straw.

Your sharp cat-like acrylics claw into the flimsy newspaper material you held in your hands, poking through the page from back to front and straight through the eyes of your lover and his ex-wife. The headline of their past fiery romance pushes you over the edge.

You shred the paper into bits, flinging it into the air like confetti. The tears are blinding, mascara running down your cheeks as you rise to your feet and go over to retrieve something from his ‘secret’ drawer from his office.

In the highest heels you own, you’re strutting angrily and briskly up the long-winded stairs and through the spacious halls of his large penthouse. His staff know better than to get in your way, jumping out of your path with terrified looks the moment they lay eyes on you.

You may be a curvier girl but you were a lot shorter in height than most people you knew. And most people you knew usually wouldn’t be intimidated by such a woman of your stature, not of course, if said woman happened to be wielding a .45 caliber pistol in hand.

If hell hath no fury than a woman scorned then it is in everyone’s best interest to mind their goddamn business.

You see red. Tunnel vision. Nothing else existed in this moment other than the man you hope to kill.

“Cooper!” You shout, pounding hard against the double ivory doors of his conference room before throwing them open.

The audience in the room turns their heads in your direction, expressions of confusion morphing into horror. You could hear the faint murmurs of his patrons murmuring about knowing you from TV.

The Ghoul is the last to raise his eyes at you, expelling air from his nostrils in frustration. He’s yet to speak up, watching the scene unfold from his big boss chair.

“Ya’ll better skedaddle or little blue’s gonna sing,” You threaten causing the crowd to quickly flee, some clutching their grand-theft stolen pearls as they do so. Once you're satisfied with the emptied room, you close the doors behind you and lock them for safe measures. You raise the gun at him, hands shaking. “You still love her, don’t you? The day you decided to leave the facility…to take me as yours…that was on your anniversary date, wasn’t it? I thought this day was special for us. But you used me. You just want her attention.”

He’s neither terrified nor angry. He just seems…inconvenienced. Bored with it all, he rolls his eyes as he begins fixing up his paperwork. “Couldn’t this have waited until after my meeting? I’ve got a job to do. I don’t need any of your distractions.”

“You think I’m a distraction,” You squeak, hurt by his suggestion. A rage consumes you so violently that you think of the first thing that'll quench your fire. In one fell swoop, you swipe your arm on the table and throw his paperwork and office supplies onto the ground scattering them everywhere. Now he’s furious, jaw clenching as he stares daggers at you. You can tell he’s deciding a punishment for you. “You said we belonged together! We were supposed to forge the world side by side. How could you say that I’m just a distraction?”

“I said, ‘your distractions’. As in, all the bullshit you do on a daily basis. Now be quiet.” He hisses through gritted teeth.

“No.” You stand your ground, adjusting your posture so that you appear even taller than you already are in your heels. You know he hates it when people tower over him.

He slams his hands on the table before rising to his feet slowly. He makes it a point to stand as close to you as possible so that he’s the one towering over you now. “You’re being a fucking brat.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” You snarl. “Maybe…I should find her, hmm? I should find her and kill her. I’ll do it. You think I wouldn’t?”

“Sweet pea, I know you would and I don’t care if you do,” He laughs, cupping your face in his large hands. “She took my Janey from me. I ain’t seen her in years. Barb is my lightning rod, all my aggression is accredited to her. If she were gone, sure it’d make things really boring for me but that’s just it. And as for you, princess, well…yer a pretty young thing—real cute—but I’m one making the commands here.”

“But we’ve done so much together. We made them lose profits. We pushed forward a smear campaign for one of the senior executives that made him disappear off the grid. That was a team effort!”

“And I appreciate your support, lil’ angel. You really do make yo papa proud,” His thumb traces your lips before he roughly grips your jaw, making you look him in the eye. His rings bite into the skin of your cheeks. “Now why don’t you give me a pretty smile? If yer good for it, I might let you sit on my lap.”

You yank away from his grasp, cocking the gun. “I’ll fucking kill you. I thought when you came into my life to silence my demons. But you’ve only danced with them. I’m so screwed up in the head because I loved you. But if you die, I’ll be free.”

For a moment, he looks genuinely scared but then he gives you a wicked smirk.

“You wouldn’t. You could never kill me. How do you think you’ll be able to go on livin’ after it’s done? The second I’m gone, you wouldn’t last not even a millisecond without me,” He steps forward, closing the gap between you once again. “That’s how pathetic you are. You need somethin’ in your life to cling on and that’s me. I’m your lifeline. Whether you like it or not, your heart knows you're bound to me. A year of fleetin’ kisses and light touches; I’ve not fucked you once and still yer this weak for me. I could only imagine how obedient you’ll be when I pop your precious cherry.”

“Fuck you,” Hot tears and mucus continue to run down your face as you unrelentingly held the pistol up to his chest. “Fuck you, Cooper. Maybe I won’t live long after I kill you, but I’ll be seeing you in hell.”

You pull the trigger only instead of a lead bullet, a foam-like bullet with a suction end sticks to his chest. It appears to be a strange child’s toy. You examine it with confusion before looking up at his fuming expression.

You begin to laugh nervously, dropping the toy on the ground to give a quirky shrug of your shoulders. “Oopsies.”

“I didn’t think I’d hide actual guns anywhere near the likes you, did you?” He sneers. “You fucking shot me.”

“But you didn’t die.”

“Anything you’ve got to say for yourself?”

You swallow the hard lump in your throat. “S-sorry…daddy.”

He raises his hand and you flinch, fearing that this’ll be the day he finally raises a hand on you. Instead, he places it on your head, petting it softly.

“My good girl,” He praises, much to your confusion. “What am I going to do with you?”

Your eyes sparkle with love and admiration, throwing yourself into his arms. “You still love me?”

“Of course, I still love you,” He coos, soothing a hand down your back that’s exposed by the style of your mini blue satin dress. “I’ve never had a woman love me this intensely. You almost killed me, woman. That makes me so hard.”

He guides your dainty hand over his hardening clothed cock. “Do you feel that, sugar?” He rasps. “You’ve done this to me simply for being crazy as shit. No woman’s ever made me feel this way, not even Barb..”

“Y-you mean that, daddy-o?”

“From the bottom of my heart,” He brushes his nose against yours. “Do you see how passionately in love we are for each other? You never have to question my devotion for you even if Barb’s around, no one could replace you. There’s just so many things you do that she could never do as good as you.”

“Like what?” You blink up innocently.

“You always know just the right thing to make me feel good.” He hints, sitting back on his executive chair with his legs spread.

You sink to your knees, sitting in between his legs. Cooper loves oral sex, both giving and receiving. He’s been so busy with work that rarely had time for either but you’ll gladly keep giving it up whenever you can. And maybe eventually, he’ll officially claim you in bed.

Your hands reach for his zipper when he halts your movements. He stares intensely into your eyes while wrapping one pigtail around his scarred hand. “You don’t deserve to taste me. You’ve maxed out your strikes for the day,” He begins to recount. “Strike one, you interrupted my meeting. Strike two, you were a rude pest. Strike three, you tried to kill me. For these reasons, I want you to sit beside me like a good little girl for the rest of my meeting. I shall have a punishment ready for you by then.”

“But—“

“Silence,” He tugs hard, forcing you to rise slightly. “I don’t want to hear a word out of you. I want you as silent as the ground I walk on. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy.” You whine.

He places a kiss on your forehead before releasing you. With a push of a button, he makes an announcement on the intercom for his staff to lead his patrons back into the conference room.

“Remember, my dove: not a peep out of you.” He orders.

You watch on the rest of the meeting with awe, head in your hands as you dreamily sigh up at him as plotted away. After sometime, the members of his team exit the room after the Ghoul approves their dismissal.

Alone again at last, you hop into his lap, making the two of you spin in his upholstered chair. He humors you, forehead against yours and a reserved smile on his face.

“You were so amazing, daddy-o! I bet they’ll never think to underestimate you again. The plan is just diabolical!” You exclaim. “How are you real?”

“I ask myself this at times.” He replies smugly, rubbing circles in your back. If you continued to praise him like this, he just might disregard punishing you.

“I know I’ve been a bad girl and I don’t deserve it but may I please kiss you?” You ask, playing with his tie.

“You may.” He approves.

You squeal giddily before planting your lips onto his with a hungry desire that has you both moaning into the kiss. Your hands find comfort in his hair, ruining its assembly. Most days, Cooper would curse you for this but today he’s in such good spirits because everything is going his way. He slips his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss.

The telephone rings and he breaks away with a groan reaching for it on the table while his other hand continues to trace his fingers lightly up and down your back. While he’s occupied in conversation, you kiss all over his neck, leaving lipstick kisses behind.

“Excellent, I’ll be sure to watch.” He says with a smile.

“Daddy-o’?” You question.

He simply takes a remote off his desk and presses a button that mechanically parts the large velvet curtains to the side, revealing the big clear window behind it. Different colors burst into the sky of reds, greens, blues and yellow and you recognize them as actual fireworks.

You stand from his lap, walking over to the large window to gaze in at its glory. He’d successfully executed a plan you’d been telling him about for months; setting off an explosion at one of the milk factories that an ex owned. A factory far in the distance that you could see from the penthouse’s height, cursing it every day because it ruined your view of the city. And now Cooper has taken it out…for you. God, you love this man.

“Happy Anniversary, princess.” He says from behind, kissing you on your neck.

“This is the best thing anyone’s ever done for me,”Your eyes sparkle in the light, clapping and laughing with pure glee at the spectacle. “Oh, I could only imagine how funny it would have been to see the look on his face.”

Cooper presses another button and sure enough your ex is on the news, having a fit about it while you and Cooper laughed as if it were the funniest thing on earth.

Swept up by the moment, you kissed him passionately, messing up his makeup and your own as blended into an odd mix of colors.

His thick fingers find their way between your legs, moving past your damp panties to plunge into your hot, wet core. You gasp against his lips, nails sinking into his dress shirt for support as you grind down on them.

“I love you, Daddy.” You cry out happily, breathing quicken with the pumping of his fingers. If it weren’t for your back against the window, your buckling knees would have taken you down.

“I love you, too, sugar. You’re so good for me.” He praises, thrusting so particularly deep into you that your eyes cross and you gush your honeyed slick into his palm. “Always been daddy’s little monster.”

That name is enough to tip you over the edge, tightening your hand around his wrist when your orgasm finally hits you like a freight train. You whine and tremble when he continues his ministrations inside of you curling is finger perfectly while his meaty palm added friction to your throbbing clit. You’re sobbing at the overstimulation, soaking his hand, down your legs and his pants. He laughs at your catatonic state; the babbling and drool down your chin makes you look about as mad as an asylum patient. The aftershocks flow through you like a tidal wave as you shake against his hard body.

He’s only merciful to stop when you begin to clamp his hand between your thighs to keep him from moving any further.

When you come down, you give him a dopey smile and say, “Boy, seeing a building blow up like that makes me want to ‘blow’ something else?”

[vanfleeter]

Revelation

Summary: Going on a platonic date and being mistaken for being a couple, but things might just change. Characters: Jake x Fem!Reader Warnings: 18+ as always. Language. Fluff. Light Smut. Kissing. Heated make out. Angst (if you squint really, really hard). Allusions to sex.

Valentine's Masterlist

It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Jake to invite you to go to dinner with him. It was usually when he wanted to get out of the house after going completely out of his mind.

So here you are, standing outside your apartment building and waiting for him to show up. And just on time, when he’s usually running late, his car pulls up to the side road. He parks it and gets out to open the passenger door for you.

“Oh how gentleman of you.” You giggle as you climb up inside.

“Don’t get used to it.” He smirks before shutting the car door and jogging back around to his side.

“So..” You say, breaking the comfortable silence in the car. It was never awkward between the two of you, if anything the you two enjoy the silence and just soaking in each other’s presence. “Uh… You already had this planned?”

Jake nods his head. “Had it planned since the new year. It’s a nice place, it's kind of hard to get reservations.. I didn’t want to cancel so I thought why not ask my best friend to join me?”

“Aw, how thoughtful.” You say, making him chuckle. “But you should know, I-”

“-Never liked her.. I know,” He smirks.

“Well..” You shrug your shoulders. He laughs and turns on the turn signal to make a right turn at the intersection.

–

Parking the car in the lot of the restaurant, he gets out and comes around to your side to open your door. “You know you don’t have to do that.” You say.

“I’m being polite.” He says as he closes the door when you get out.

With his hand on the small of your back, he guides you through the open door of the restaurant. The simple touch from him on your back sent a warm feeling through your middle, making your heart race just a little more than usual.

“Good evening!” The hostess smiles. “Do you have a reservation for tonight?”

“Yes,” Jake responds. “It's under Jacob Kiszka.”

The hostess hums as she looks through the book. “Yes, Kiszka. Party of two. Right this way.”

As she leads the two of you through the restaurant, Jake glances over at you, a small smile tugging at his lips as he watches your eyes grow in size as how fancy this place is. You don’t go to places like this. Your idea of fancy included cooking at home with a small glass of wine, maybe two if you were feeling yourself. This was way over what you’ve been to.

“Here we are.” She says with a smile, placing a couple menus down on the booth table. “Your waiter will be over soon to bring your drinks.”

“This place is insane..” You say, still looking around the room. “There’s chandeliers here, huge ones.” Jake smiles from across the booth as the awe still clouds your eyes. “And there’s a live jazz band?”

A young man walks over carrying a couple glasses and an expensive bottle of wine. “Compliments of the chef for the happy couple.”

“Couple?” You question.

Jake’s face falls but he quickly plays it off by clearing his throat and flashing the waiter a smile. “That’s very kind,” He says. “Please give him our thanks.”

The waiter pours the wine before retrieving a notepad and pen to write your orders. With Jake’s insistence on you getting anything you would like, you end up ordering a steak with all of the sides and he ends up ordering the same thing.

Once the waiter is gone, you reach for your wine and take a drink. “I’m sorry about that,” Jake awkwardly laughs. “I forgot I had put a note on the reservation that I’d be bringing my girlfriend–not knowing that we’d..break up..before this..”

You give him a warm smile and shake your head. “Don’t apologize.. Besides, free wine? I won’t turn that down.” You say with a giggle and take another drink of your wine. Hearing the music change, you can’t help but smile again when you recognize what song is being played. Standing up from the booth and receiving a confused look from Jake, you hold out your hand to him.

“It’s just a dance,” You say. “They already think we’re a couple, why not play off of it?”

He reluctantly slides out of the booth and straightens his jacket before taking your hand in his. You weren’t sure if he had felt it too, but there was a slight jolt of electricity as your hands connected. To which you chalked up as static after he ran his hands over his suit jacket.

Platonic.

That’s all it is.

Just friends.

Friends who are apparently having dinner at a fancy restaurant, dancing like a couple because that’s what the whole restaurant staff believes you are.

His hand rests again on the small of your back, but that’s as close as he will let himself get to you.

“Jake..” You say. He hums in acknowledgment, looking down at you. “I’m not gonna jump your bones should you decide you want to get closer.”

“Oh uh..” He clears his throat. “Okay.”

Stepping closer to close the two inch gap between your two, his pelvis rests softly against yours and his hand slides from your back to your other hip. He bravely pushes closer until he can feel your chest rising and falling against his suit. The contact alone sends a blood rush to his cock and he’s praying-to whatever higher power is out there-that you can’t feel it.

He hasn’t ever been this close to you–and that doesn’t include hugs.

He can feel the sweat perspiring on his palm and his heart begins to race. Little does he know that you’re feeling the exact same way. Even the flood of arousal between your legs.

When the song finally ends, you quickly excuse yourself to the bathroom, claiming to touch up just a little before the food comes out. He stammers a little before nodding his head and giving a soft ‘okay’ and a smile.

Stepping into the bathroom, you head straight for the sink and rest your palms against the edges. Taking in deep breaths, you work on calming yourself down, easing your heart rate and your nerves.

Once you feel calm enough, you straighten out your dress and run a hand through your hair and walk back out to the dining area. Approaching the table, you find that your food has already been brought out. Jake had yet to touch his food, him stating that he wanted to wait for you.

“It’s only been a minute since they brought it out,” He says.

“Oh, wonderful.” You slide back into the booth and retrieve the cloth napkin to spread over your lap. “This looks amazing.” You say before taking your fork and knife and cutting off a bite.

–

Dinner continues to go smoothly, small talk taking place between bites of food. A few laughs shared, mostly over stories of his brothers, to which you don’t mind. As your plates are cleared and you both agree to dessert, the waiter comes back with a single dish with a single slice of chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream nestled beside it.

They still believe that you’re a couple. But just like the wine, the dessert is free, more compliments of the chef.

It all comes down to the last bite of chocolate cake. You both lock eyes with each other and he smirks, readying his fork. “Bring it on, Jacob.” You say. And so the fight begins for the last bite. Of course he wins. He giggles and stabs the piece with his fork but instead of stuffing it into his mouth, he leans across the table and lets you eat it off his fork.

Again the rush of arousal floods to his cock again as he watches your lips close around his fork and take in the piece of cake. He gulps and pulls away and places his fork on the table.

For fucks sake, Jake. Pull yourself together. She is your friend. Your best friend.

The waiter comes back with the check and Jake hands over his card to pay for the dinner.

–

“I really enjoyed tonight,” You say as you unlock the door to your apartment. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Well it would have been pretty awkward to go with Josh,” He chuckles. “But you’re welcome.”

You smile and push open the door. Do it. Just ask him. “Do you, uh.. Do you want to come in?” You ask. “Unless you think it’s too late.” You quickly add.

He smiles and shakes his head. “I’d love to come in.” He says. Stepping inside, you hold the door open allowing him to come inside.

He instantly makes himself at home by slipping off his loafers and leaving them by the door and hanging up his suit jacket on the coat rack. He plops down on the sofa and crosses his legs on the coffee table. Slipping off your heels, you walk over to the couch to join him.

“I think the perfect way to end this night is by watching a movie.” He says as he reaches for the remote. You agree and snag a blanket off the back of the couch and cover the both of you.

–

As the movie ends, you both get up from the couch to stretch. His left arm swipes around your waist and pulls you into him. “Hi..” He smiles.

You smile back. “Hi..”

He takes in a deep breath before uttering his next words. “I’m about to do something that could potentially ruin everything but it’s a risk I’m willing to take because all night I’ve been dying to know..”

“To know what?”

He takes your face in his hands and plants a kiss on your lips. It took you by surprise initially but you allow yourself to lean more into it, both figuratively and literally as you press your waist against his body.

“How soft your lips are..” He chuckles when he pulls away.

“I..” You’re unable to form any words. You sigh at your inability to do so and he nods his head.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He says, his head dipping. “That was probably not the right call.” He clears his throat and pulls away before swiping his keys off of the coffee table.

“Woah, wait..” You grab his wrist, pulling him back and pressing your lips back onto his. “It was definitely the right call.” You kiss him again and wrap your arms around his neck.

He grabs your hips and pulls you as close as your bodies could possibly get. His one hand rests on your hip while the other tangles within your hair. Your lips move in sync as your tongues battle one another.

Wrapping his arms around the back of your thighs, he picks you up and lays you on the couch. He rests himself between your legs, hovering over top of you before diving in to attach his lips to your neck. You can feel his now hardened length rub against your center and arousal begins to pool again in your underwear.

As he continues sucking and now licking at your skin, you work to undo the buttons on his shirt, exposing his chest and torso. His skin is already starting to glisten with sweat. You press the palms of your hands against his chest, feeling how it expands with each breath and moves fluidly with each movement he makes.

He moans against your neck, the vibration tickling your skin and making you giggle. He smiles against you before pulling away only briefly to shimmy off his shirt and toss it to the floor. He starts back on your neck again before moving down to your collarbone and eventually down the exposed skin of your chest. He teases the valley of your breasts with a gentle sweep of his tongue and kissing back up to your collarbone and coming back to plant a kiss on your lips.

Being a little risky, you slide your hands from his chest and down to his crotch where you gently cup him in the palm of your hand. His breath hitches in his throat and he looks at you, his eyes darkening and a smirk appearing on his face. He grinds his length into your palm, creating the much needed friction he’s been craving to satisfy the aching feeling in his cock. But he moves back, pulling you with him.

“Everything okay?” You ask.

Jake nods his head. “Yeah..” He runs a hand through his hair. “But if I don’t stop myself now, I’ll want to take you right here.”

“Would that be a bad thing?”

“No! No, it wouldn’t be a bad thing but…” He sighs. “Y/N, listen.. Tonight did not go as planned for either of us.. I didn’t see myself coming home with you, or kissing you. Nor did I see myself doing this.”

“Oh..” You shift your legs on the couch and drape them over the edge before planting your feet on the floor and moving to stand up. “Now I just feel confused..”

He looks up at you from the couch, his brows pulling together. “All I’m saying is that tonight was not at all what I had planned..” He stands up from the couch. “Something definitely shifted tonight.. I felt when I picked you up.. Seeing you in this dress–I don’t know, it showed you to me in a different way. Normally I’d look at you and think of you as just my best friend. But not tonight. Tonight I looked at you in this dress and my heart stopped. All fucking night I was a sweating mess and goddamn nervous to be around you.”

Reaching out for you, he pulls you back to him and presses a delicate kiss to your lips.

“I so badly want to fuck you,” He says. “But I also want to make love to you.”

“Make love to me, Jake..”

–

Walking your fingers up his bare torso and up his chest, you watch as a smile slowly grows on his face. His eyes flutter open and he looks down at you. “Hi..” You say with a smile. He chuckles and wraps his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to his body.

“Hi..” He responds before kissing you. “Tonight was perfect. I’m glad that I made the decision to invite you out tonight.”

“I’m glad you did too.. Or else I’d be here–alone… I never liked Valentine’s Day.”

“Eh, it’s okay..” He shrugs his shoulders. “You haven’t missed out on much..”

You giggle and turn over so that you’re resting on top of him. “You, Jacob Thomas, are a beacon of light that I get the pleasure of seeing every day.”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He blurts out.

You smile and eagerly nod your head. “I thought you’d never ask.”

__________________________________________________

tag list:

@watchingover-hypegirl @losfacedevil @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @writingcold @jaketlove @mackalah @lexii-nv-c @em-gvf01 @katiegvf @joshkiszkaenthusiast @takenbythemadness @jakekiszkasmommy @objectsinspvce @gvfmarge @heckingfrick @bluemeadows77 @laneygvf @sacredmachine @jordie-gvf-admin @gvfpal @killerqueengvf @jaketlover @jordinlkiszka @alwaysonthemend @hellowgoodbye @anythingforjtk @hi-hi-hello11 @anthemofgvf @gretasfallingsky @songbirds-sweet @wildbluesorbit @klarxtr @stardustsecret @sunandthemoontwinflames @everyglowinthetwilightknows @sinsofstardust @sparrowofthedawnsworld @josh-iamyour-mama @dannys-dream

Want to be added to my tag list? Reach out to me! :D

(also if I missed you, please let me know!)

[rottenfyre]

Fandoms that are so unhinged and cringe that I would never be a part of even though I enjoy the anime/show/game:

1. My Hero Academia

Honestly, what is wrong with these people? Are y’all okay? Do you need help? Therapy? Exorcism? This was a great anime and an even better manga, but the fandom? Dead on arrival. Like, no amount of CPR can bring this back to life because the fandom turned it into a circus of cringe. The fanfics? Absolute war crimes against the English language. The shipping wars? God-tier delusional. Y’all turned Deku into some uwu soft boy who cries over stepping on ants. This fandom could have had it all, but instead, they went off the rails and nuked the whole vibe.

2. House of the Dragon

Let me just say it: y’all can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality. Like, are you okay? Blink twice if you need help. These people have turned liking Team Green or Team Black into a blood feud. They call Green fans RAPISTS. Yeah, you read that right. Someone out there is foaming at the mouth because you thought Alicent Hightower was in the right for .2 seconds. They harass actors like they personally stormed King’s Landing and burned their village. Y’all bullied actors so bad they had to dip off the internet. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to watch dragons burn people. Chill.

3. Twisted Wonderland

Oh, boy. This one’s personal. I’ve been harassed, stalked, and attacked by these clowns in my first ever blog. Why? Because I wrote a straight fic and didn’t make it for a male reader. Yeah, you read that right. Straight fic. Suddenly, I’m Satan. They sent death threats, stalked me, reported my fic—like, go outside and touch some grass. The entitlement is insane. Sorry I didn’t cater to your every whim, my liege. Get a hobby. Oh wait, you do have one: bullying creators for free content. Imagine if they put this energy into, I don’t know, being normal.

4. Genshin Impact

This one’s tricky. On the surface, pretty chill. You like the game, I like the game, we all simp for pixelated characters—it’s cool, right? WRONG. The second you express a straight ship? You’re done. Canceled. Booted out of the fandom. Like, y’all do know this is a Chinese game, right? Where straight relationships are literally baked into the culture? But noooo, apparently every character has to be gay or you’re committing some kind of fandom sin. And don’t even get me started on how they harass artists over anything. “Oh no, their art style doesn’t fit my headcanon, time to ruin their life!” Calm down, Picasso.

5. Honkai Star Rail

Another “chill on the surface” fandom, but scratch a little deeper, and it’s chaos. They will romanticize slavery for their ships. Like, excuse me? What kind of unhinged behavior is this? And don’t even get me started on their logic for calling characters gay. “Oh, she wore purple eyeshadow once, so that means she’s a lesbian. It’s canon now.” HUH? Since when does makeup mean sexual orientation? Y’all are doing the most for the least.

[babydollmarauders]

KISS ME — TREVOR ZEGRAS

trevor zegras x fem! drysdale! reader

FAITHLYNN’S 500 CELLY!

🌷: “forget it you’re a fucking asshole” & “that was kind of hot” & “please just kiss me already” with Trevor.

warnings: alcohol, heavy make out sesh

i wouldn’t necessarily describe Trevor and i as ‘friends’. we argue way too much for that. which isn’t great when you take into account how often i see him. as Jamie’s twin sister, i go nearly everywhere with him; i moved to California with him, i attend almost every game, and i’m at nearly every hang out with him. which is why tonight, i’m stuck at a party i don’t necessarily wanna be at. i tried telling Jamie that i would much rather stay at my apartment tonight, but he insisted that i must come to he and Trevor’s party for at least an hour. he stated it was my ‘obligation as his twin’, whatever that means.

so now i sit on his overcrowded sofa, a soda in my hand and a timer on my phone counting down from an hour. i’ve only been here for fifteen minutes and i’m already sick of Trevor’s obnoxious storytelling. i watch him as he stands barely five feet away from me, recounting an insane goal he made from behind the net to a group of girls in front of him. his hands gesture wildly as he speaks, and i can foresee an accident happening before it even does. and lo and behold, i’m correct. what i didn’t expect was that it would be on me. his drink flies out of his grip, splashing and landing straight on me, and i gasp at the feeling of cold beer hitting my face and chest.

“oh shit!” Trevor exclaims, chuckling at my misfortune. “sorry, y/n!

“are you kidding me, Trevor?!” i stand and wipe at my face with my hands, looking down at my brand new dress that’s now covered in alcohol. “you— ugh! are you seriously laughing right now?”

“i said i was sorry.” he rolls his eyes.

“yeah! as you laughed!” i argue.

“what do you want me to do?!” he chuckles.

“forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.” i state, looking around for my brother in hopes that he can lend me a change of clothes, but i don’t see him anywhere. i huff out a breath and start walking towards the exit. he’ll just have to deal with me leaving, he probably won’t even notice anyways.

“hold on!” Trevor shouts over the music, grabbing my arm. “c’mon, i’ll give you some sweats.”

he pulls on my arm, leading the way towards his bedroom, and i roll my eyes. i guess it’s the least he can do, after all, he is the one who spilled his drink on me. we step into his room and he immediately bee lines toward his dresser, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and an Anaheim Ducks t-shirt, holding them out for me. i take them from his grasp, muttering a sarcastic ‘thanks’ and pulling the sweatpants on under my dress, having to roll the legs up at the bottom. i pay no mind to the boy standing in front of me and pull my dress over my head, leaving me in a bralette before yanking the t-shirt on. i look back at Trevor, who stands wide eyed. he gulps before speaking.

“that was kind of hot.” he admits, and i let out a chuckle. “i mean, you- you’re always hot but…”

“you think i’m hot?” i ask.

“well, yeah.” he replies, but then his eyes get wide. “but Jamie would kill me if he knew that so please don’t tell him.”

“why would i tell Jamie?” i question.

“well, you guys are twins, so don’t you guys like, tell each other everything?”

“no?” i give him a weird look. “i don’t know about him, but, i don’t tell him everything.”

“really? Jamie seems to think you do.” Trevor glances toward the closed bedroom door as he speaks, as if he’s worried about being caught alone with me.

“well, i don’t.” i state. “i didn’t tell him i thought you were hot.”

“you think i’m hot?” Trevor exclaims.

“yeah. but you’re also pretty annoying, so sometimes those two things cancel each other out.” Trevor laughs at my joke for a moment before his expression turns serious.

“so, you think i’m hot, i think you’re stunning, what do we do with that information.” he raises an eyebrow, stepping closer to me so that our bodies nearly touch. i roll my eyes and speak.

“please just kiss me already.”

Trevor wastes no time in doing so. his hands grip my waist and he pulls me into him, his lips crashing down on mine with intensity. lust charged electricity flows between us and my hands come up to the nape of his neck, gripping the hair there and pushing his lips harder against mine. he sucks on my bottom lip, eliciting a moan from me that he swallows up. he pushes me backwards, my back coming into contact with the wall behind me, and my leg raises to settle on his hip. his head dips down as he leaves open mouthed kisses down my neck, and he rolls his body, his bulge pressing into my core. i let out a whimper at the contact and he repeats the movement, but before we can get any farther, a knock sounds at the door.

“y/n? you in there?” Jamie’s voice is muffled from the wood between us, and Trevor and i jump apart at the sound. i wipe at my lips and neck, fixing my clothes and flattening my hair as Trevor readjusts himself and runs a hand through his hair.

i walk over to the door, pulling it open to reveal my brother on the other side.

“heyyy.” he drags out, his eyes darting between Trevor and i suspiciously. his gaze goes down to my outfit and he raises an eyebrow.

“hey. Trevor spilled his beer on my dress, so he lent me some clothes.” i explain. Trevor hums in agreement, nodding his head.

“oh, okay.” Jamie nods before looking at Trevor. “wanna play beer pong?”

-

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-

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[saltyyuuri]

🖋️Writers Block 🖋️

Iso x fem! Reader

Part 7

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6 - PART 7

Words; 2800

Warnings; mentions of NSFW and vulgar language . This will be copy pasted on every chapter.

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For the next weeks you are completely absorbed with writing your books- because the moment you started writing the second one, you also started writing the entire series without stopping. You had spent two entire weeks, not taking a day off, writing non-Stop. There has been a few instances where Jett decided to butt in your office, playing one of the songs from Hamilton, "Non-stop" , to pester you slightly-

But honestly you were so absorbed with your work that you didn't take a moment to even acknowledge her. Jett and Iso ended up giving you a bit of space for the time that you were just completely absorbed with your own work- even though they felt a little neglected, they kind of understood your point of view.

You were working on a series that anytime you mentioned it you said you were going to make it one of your best series yet- that you wanted it to become your best seller and that the idea that came to mind was one of your favorite ones so far. You were pouring your soul out onto this- and even Iso was starting to have trouble to pull you away from your computer to get proper rest and take care of yourself.

You did however apologize for the time that you were taking away from him- promising that once this was done you would give back all that time, you just just wanted to write this entire thing since you were on the bubble of creativity, and that you have the energy to just do it all in a go.

2 weeks straight, within that time you managed to complete two books, and you were missing the fourth one-the one that would be breaking everything back down. That meant probably an extra week, and that meant having to ask Jett and Iso to be patient with you for just another week.

You saved a copy of the third book on your hard drive, just like you did for the first and second, making sure not to lose anything. You sent in the third book to the editor-which of course they called you a bit insane for being able to write everything so fast- but accepted it nevertheless.

It was around 7:00 p.m., not too late-since you had some free time tonight you decided you were going to do something with Iso - take him out on a date since you were done with the third book and had some spare time for the evening. You immediately sent him a message, telling him to meet you at your dorm and to dress nicely.

You on the other hand headed back to your dorm to take a shower, do some proper self-care and slide on a nice dress- it was a long sleeve V-neck simple black dress, which you paired up with a pair of heeled boots, a white trench coat and some silver jewelry. By the time you were done applying some perfume, you heard a knock at your door.

Your heels clicked on the floor of your room, swinging open the door with a smile. "Yu!" You called out, smiling even wider when you saw him. "Good evening - you look really pretty-" He said, looking you up and down, a slight blush on his face as he was shamelessly checking you out. To be fair, you had been dressed in only pajamas and sweats for the past two weeks, so you really don't blame him for that reaction.

"Thank you, and you look hot in a button up shirt -" you pointed out as you fiddled with the collar of his shirt, smirking slightly. "Hm- if it weren't for the fact that I already have taken reservations for restaurant, I would have asked if I could have you for dinner-" you added- leaning into place a kiss on his cheek before walking out of your room, your hand in his.

He blushed a bit, but smirked. "I mean-" he started off before you interrupted him. "Love, I already put down my credit card for that reservation. If I cancel now I'm still paying for the table." You cut him off, giggling slightly. He let out a slightly disappointed sigh, but followed you along towards the parking garage.

He was going to be driving there since you still didn't have your car, so you got in the passenger seat, making yourself comfortable that's the passenger princess. He put the car on drive and started making his way towards the address you put in the GPS. "So... What has you in such a good mood tonight?" Iso asked , smile on his face. "Are you done writing your series?" He asked you once again.

"I'm done writing the third book but I still have one to go-" you said, your head turning to look at him immediately. " But I swear I only have one left, so it's one more week and then I'm free -" you said in a reassuring tone, one of your hands going to rest on his thigh. Iso felt his face heat up at the touch, keeping his focus fully on the road.

"Oh- ... It's only one more week, it's not that bad." He said softly, smiling as he spoke. You paused for a moment, your hand still on his thigh, your mind wandering just a bit. "I do want to apologize for locking myself up while I work on my books-I know it probably seems like I'm neglecting you, But I'm just trying to get through it all as quickly as I can to not only not forget my ideas-but also allow me more free time." You said, just trying to put some sense into what you were doing.

"And I really felt the need to say it, because I know I haven't been the most talkative for the past two weeks. But just know, as soon as I'm done, my entire attention spawn is all yours. And I won't jump back into another series or another book immediately- I'll let this one simmer." You continued, giving his thigh a small squeeze as you spoke.

"(Y/n), you don't need to apologize, I understand. You're just caught up with your work." He said, taking one of his hands off the wheel to take the one that was on his lap into his, interlacing his fingers with yours. "I appreciate that you're taking time off this evening to spend it with me, but I wouldn't have held it against you if you decided to continue working."

You simply stared at him for a short moment before finally speaking up. "How are you so perfect - I swear-" you mumbled out, your cheeks turning a bit pink at the statement you made. He chuckled, squeezing your hands lightly.

🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️🖋️

And so, the next week came along and just as you predicted, you are completely absorbed in your work, not wanting to be disturbed unless it was someone bringing you food because you inevitably forgot again.

You are so focused on your idea, nothing was pulling you out of it. You ended up writing a lot more than you had expected yourself to-meaning that last book was going to be a bit longer than expected, but you didn't care. You just wanted it to be perfect-you wanted it to have that exact plot twist, with these exact details and you also wanted that shocking extra NSFW scene that would leave your audience talking about it for ages.

You wanted it all- and you made sure it was perfect. Even though as you were done typing it, you took the time to read the final book over, making sure you didn't miss anything and that everything was strategically placed correctly in the timelines.

That's what you have been doing for the entire day, just rereading the entire thing. By the end of it, you saved your copy, sending it into the editor afterwards. And that was it-that writers block you were fighting off when you came here was gone, leaving place to this four book series that you deem to be one of your best ones yet- all on this hard drive.

You stared at the hard drive in your hand- and then an idea I came to your mind. One that you think both Jett and Iso would appreciate- plugging the hard drive back into your laptop before clicking away, working up a little plan on your end.

After maybe half an hour, your plan was complete, all put into a nice little Zip file. You have turned your four books into PDF copies, deciding to send out that zip file to Iso and Jett. You sent it via email just because- the only thing you wrote was "Here it is. Early access for you guys- enjoy :)".

And then you finally relaxed in your chair, letting out a sigh of relief. You finally shut your laptop, this time it was going to be for a good while. You stayed there for a few minutes, as if basking in the aftermath of all your hard work-even if it wasn't out yet, you knew it was going to be good.

It was only a few minutes later that you finally pushed yourself off your chair and out your office, making your way back to your room to settle down for the night. You texted Iso goodnight as usual, then deciding to turn off your phone to get a good night's rest-actually knocking out for more than just 6 hours.

And when you woke up the next day, sometime around noon, you picked up your phone to check your messages-surprised to see that they were empty. You wondered if maybe the email didn't send out- or maybe if they just didn't check their phones? You didn't want to worry about it too much, so you just decided to head to the training room for the day, knowing you usually would find those two there.

Except you didn't. It was already odd enough not to find Jett doing some weird stuff here-but not having Iso do his usual practice? That definitely striked you as odd. You decided to stick around a bit, chatting with some of the other agents, thinking that maybe at some point they would show up-

But it was already late afternoon and there was no sign of either. So you headed towards the common kitchen-making yourself dinner. Once again, no sign of Jett or Iso. You have time to cook yourself dinner, eat it and even do your dishes and there was still nothing, not even a message.

So you thought enough was enough-it was already 7:00 p.m., and you made your way towards Iso's dorm to look for him. You knocked on his door a couple of times but there was no answer-so you just walked in.

What you didn't expect was to see him look up at you, there was an unreadable expression on his face as he had his phone in his hand, plugged in. There was bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept, also looking like he was taking a second to register you were actually in the room. "Hey-" he said quietly, looking back down at his phone for a short moment.

"Hey indeed-what were you doing all day?" You asked him curiously, shuting the door behind you as you made your way towards the bed. He looked up once again from his phone, blinking a few times before speaking up. "Reading your books- I'm already starting the third one." He said-his attention shifting immediately after.

You paused-now realizing that those two have probably been reading up your book series-and he seemed to have pulled an all-nighter as if those books had got him hooked. You weren't sure if you should just interrupt his reading to tell him to at least take a nap-or let him be. You ended up just deciding to lay beside him in bed, propping yourself in a way so that you were able to see the screen too.

You read along with him, reading your own story as he did the same. Your book series - about the protagonist being an assassin who ended up retiring- was filled with small plot twists, and up to the third book the plot twists were just to keep people hooked, drop little hints. You knew by the moment he would be on the 4th book, that's when the stuff would hit the fan.

7:00 p.m. turned into midnight-and he was already past halfway in the book, while you were just completely passed out, sleeping beside him. Iso was honestly way too hooked to want to pause-but seeing you sleep beside him finally made him put down his phone.

He promised himself the moment he woke up he was going to continue-because if there was one thing that was certain, is that you were right when you said that this was going to be your best book series.

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The next day, by the end of the evening, you were already in your room on your phone, passing time scrolling social media. Iso was too caught up on your book series, so you didn't want to bug him. And you assumed that Jett was probably doing the same- so you just passed time alone.

Or at least that was until the two of them barged into your room at the same time- Jett yelling something as she had tears in her eyes and Iso just looking shocked. "Woah what-" you jumped, not expecting them to barge in that way.

"SHE WAS A TRAITOR??" Jett yelled, hiccuping slightly, unable to hold back her emotions. Iso on the other hand looks like he was trying to find something to say- taking an extra moment. "Jett, calm down, its just fiction-" you said, immediately trying to help her calm down a bit-but your attempts are futile. "No! HOW COULD YOU MAKE HER THE TRAITOR?!" She yelled out again before tears actually streamed down her face-

Before you can respond- Iso finally spoke up. "You... You actually did the knife play. I'm not even that mad about the traitor- I'm just-... How are you so descriptive of that-please understand I'm mildly concerned-" he finally said, making you cackle just lately before Jett continued sobbing. "Iso I promise it was just the fruits of my imagination-" you said a bit sheepishly as you tried to console Jett.

You were currently hugging her she was crying in your shoulder- trying to get over the ending of your book- while Iso was practically staring at you blankly. "I'm really concerned as to how you can imagine that so vividly-and put it down on paper as if it was describing an apple-" He said, shaking his head slowly.

"what-did I maybe awaken a new kink?" You asked him teasingly- smirking as you spoke to him. "No! God no- I wouldn't imagine doing that to you-" he said, his face going a bit pale as you burst out laughing. Jett finally started calming down, lifting her head from your shoulder for a moment. "Wait... So you two are dating?" She asked, making sense of what was going on, putting aside her breakdown from your book serious for the moment.

"You haven't told her?" Iso asked you, looking at you a bit incredulously. "I .. I will admit it slipped my mind-" you said sheepishly - it really did seem that you had that slight issue of announcing to people that you were dating-and boy did Jett not let that slide.

"WhAt?!" She exclaimed loudly once more. "First you kill my emotions with your book, and now I suddenly learn you two are dating?! Are you trying to kill me emotionally right now?!" She yelled, making wide gestures with her arms, flailing around a bit as she spoke.

"I swear I just really forgot to say it-" you said , rubbing the back of your neck as you spoke. Iso on the other hand just watched this dumpster fire burn-not intervening at any moment.

Anyways with all the yelling, it attracted some attention-and not only did the word go around fast that you and Iso were dating - but also word of your book series being complete went around. Which means, anyone who liked the stuff you wrote was inevitably sending you text messages asking if they could get the leaks too-

You sighed- the evening was definitely chaotic- but in a good way. You were glad to see that your book series ended up putting those two in such states- in your mind that was a victory, meaning that you successfully wrote everything exactly how you wanted it to pull up the right emotions.

So when you went to bed that night, cuddled up with Iso in his room of course, you fell asleep with a wide smile on your lips.

Overall; this stay in valorant protocol brought you a new amazing idea for a book series, brought you closer to your remaining family and brought you Iso.

You couldn't ask for anything better.

[callmelola111]

maniac ♡ e.w. oneshot

✄ - - - -   inspo track   - - - -   maniac

synopsis: lies are spewed and truths are revealed when a precarious friend group joins together once more on the 1 year anniversary of their estranged friends disappearance.

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 4.4k

      | ❀ | cw: 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, reader is referred to with she/her pronouns but other than that all descriptors are gender neutral, heavy violence blood and gore, oc deaths, drug use, homophobia (use of the word "dyke" once. i'm a lesbian so don't y'all try to cancel me), heavy language, mentions of reader having anxiety and panic attacks, lots of tension and fighting, ⭑ SMUT ⭑ ... thigh riding (r on e), dom!ellie, sub!reader, fingering (r receiving), pet names (baby, angel, etc.)

a/n: hi lovelies!! long time no see... i know this is a little different from my usual stuff but i honestly really love how it turned out. i spent a good chunk of time planning this out and then even longer writing it so i really hope y'all love it! i want this to be a fresh and exciting read for everyone. if you do end up enjoying the fic, any kind of note is greatly appreciated! ur fave tumblr writers thrive off all y'alls support! anyways, love love love you guys!!! ♡~ lola

To everyone else, it was a summer like any other. But when it came to you and your friends there was something missing this time– someone missing. This absence felt extra heavy as tomorrow would be the 1 year anniversary of August’s disappearance, and the annual camping trip was right on time with it. It had been tradition for as long as you could remember, but its memory was now tainted and left something that used to be so sure, completely up in the air…

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

The five of you squeezed into the small 4 person booth at your favorite local diner; Tj’s Eats. In one seat sat Lottie and Reid. The girl’s loose, dark curls gathered at the boy's shoulders as she snuggled into him, still clearly in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. On the other side of the white marbled table sat Xavier and Ellie, with you perched on her lap, of course, as she insisted to everyone that it was “necessity” and “there really, really was no more room”. In all actuality, all it took was an extra chair to fit the five, but she was your girlfriend, and even after years of dating you still couldn’t get enough of each other. 

“Can someone just say what we’re all thinking, please! I can’t with this tension,” Lottie complained, finally snapping out of the cuddle fest with her red-headed boyfriend.

“What are we all thinking Lottie, huh? Since you know everything,” Xavier retaliated, guising his irritation with a poorly crafted remark. 

“Don’t be fucking mean,” she said, kicking him under the table.

“Yeah seriously chill out,” Reid echoed. 

“God, enough with this shit, you guys are driving me insane!” Ellie butted in. You, however, paid no mind to this type of bullshit, as fights like this had become a frequent occurrence in your group of friends ever since that godforsaken night. So you continued to down your chocolate shake and drown out the bickering with a light hum. That is, until you were rudely interrupted by Xavier’s insulting words.

“You’re being real fucking quiet over there, Y/n. Do you really have nothing to say? You can’t just tune us out forever. We’re your fucking friends.”

You felt your hands balled into tight fists, “Fine. You want me to say something? I’ll say something–my brother is still missing and if you’re even thinking of going on that stupid fucking trip this year, you can count me out.”

“Not going on that trip isn’t gonna magically bring him back. August is gone and we can’t stop living our lives because of it,” he retorted, going just a tad bit too far. This was the last straw and quickly sent you up and out of your warm place in Ellie’s lap. She grasped at your wrist trying to pull you back into this mess of a friend group, but to no avail. 

“Now look what you’ve fucking done!” Ellie yelled at your defense as you disappeared into the bathroom.

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

Now face-to-face with your tear-stained cheeks in the mirror, your head fell down between your shoulders, slowly letting the pent up emotions roll off your back. Ever since you lost August, life had become 10 times harder. As much as your younger self would’ve hated to admit it, he was your rock–your annoying brother–but still, your rock. This confession made you feel even worse though, because deep down, there was a part of you that blamed yourself for how things happened. Maybe if you would’ve stopped fighting, or told the truth to the police, or took it easier on the booze and coke that night, August would still be here. There was nothing you could do now though. This was your reality and you had to accept it. 

With that you reached into the pocket of Ellie’s varsity jacket that engulfed your figure, hoping to find a tissue to blot away your tears and smeared mascara. Instead, you were met with a small polaroid. You flipped it over to reveal a bewildering picture of Xavier and August from the last night he was seen. Their arms were swung around each other’s necks, both flashing toothy smiles at the camera and you could recall being the one to take this photo. The one thing you didn’t remember is the black sharpie captioning the bottom of the image. It read “don’t believe his lies”. Your head began to race with countless questions and zero answers. The biggest one being, what the fuck was Xavier lying about?

The wet bathroom countertop dug into the palms of your hands as you took a second to decide the best course of action, but all you could come up with was shutting the fuck up and pretending it never happened. You weren’t ready to relive last year all over again. Not yet–not ever. So you paraded back into the dining room, eyes still damp and hands still shaking. Ellie felt your energy immediately and knew it was time to go.

She glanced at you for confirmation and then turned to address the group, “I think it’s time for me and Y/N to head out. Sorry guys.” Xavier shot a look of discontent and Ellie mouthed something along the lines of “I’m sorry, I’ll talk to her I promise”, which seemed to slightly ease the tension he was previously carrying in his shoulders. She then slid out from the booth, slipped her left hand into the pocket of your denim shorts, and ushered you outside to her red convertible.

The drive back was silent but as Ellie’s hand gently stroked the flesh of your thighs and the other steered you knew there was no way she could have anything to do with that polaroid. But you had to find out who did. Just as you were nearing your house though, Ellie’s gentle touch quickly shifted to a handsier approach and it was clear she had other plans for the night. 

“Els?” is all you had to say before she quickly pulled over and jumped to the backseat, pulling you along with her. She positioned herself in the middle seat opening up her legs in a dominating stance resembling a manspread. You eagerly climbed atop her lap, placing soft kisses up her veiny neck and extending them to her defining jawline. This was just what you needed to release the tension that had racked up from tonight's events. The moon was hitting your face just right and Ellie felt so lucky to have you in that moment.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful” she murmured, slightly breathless from the overwhelming touch of your lips. You smiled against the crook of her neck and dove into the girl's mouth for a deep and passionate kiss. She returned the exchange with even more fire, graciously slipping her tongue into your entrance. With each second things got messier and your hips got looser, slowly grinding into Ellie’s denim clad thighs. She couldn’t help but chuckle just a little at your desperation, to which you buried your head back into her shoulder, encasing her in your arms for better traction. Ellie’s hands swiftly found the curves of your hips and rocked them back forth to aid you in your journey towards climax. That is until your anxiety got the best of you at the sound of rustling coming from outside the car.

“Ellie?”

“What does it not feel good?” she questioned.

“No, no– It’s just… I swear I just heard something coming from behind the car.”

“I mean… we are parked by the woods. It’s probably just some animal or the wind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes babe, I’m sure.” she assured you with a firm squeeze to your thigh and you let your worries go. This time Ellie was on top, laying you down across the seats to hover over you alluringly. Your lips found hers once again as she slipped a hand down your shorts and past your panties to meet the slick that had been piling up the whole drive. You let out a strangled moan into Ellie’s mouth as her rough digits met the throbbing bud of nerves. She took that as a sign to speed up the pace and slip in a curved finger to hit that perfect spot. You jerked in pleasure, eyes closed, almost reaching your climax from just those few movements. Ellie felt as your walls tightened around her and knew you were close.

“Look at me baby. I wanna see your eye’s when you cum all over my fingers.” she cooed. You obeyed and parted your lids open to reveal a disturbing image followed by a frightened scream escaping your puffy lips. Ellie jumped back at the clearly non-orgasmic exclamation, letting out a string of concerned “what? What??”’s. All you could do is point your shaky hand towards the message written in the condensation of the back windshield. 

“I know about last summer…” Ellie read out, voice as shaky as your extremities. Both of your fight or flight responses were triggered; you choosing flight and her of course choosing fight. The door to the cherry red car flung open and Ellie climbed over and out of her seat to trail the perimeter. You cowered down, eye’s filled with tears as Ellie recklessly yelled out to whoever wrote the message.

“Hello? Anybody out there?”, she kicked at the rocks in frustration, “Seriously who the fuck are you? This isnt fucking funny!”

“Ellie, will you please just get back in the car? They’re gone!” you pleaded. She eventually returned from her fit and came to console you. You were a mess and you were scared. 

“Hey, hey, it’s probably some prank. Let’s just take a breath, babe. In and out. Nice and slow.” she coached and you followed.

“But- what if it’s not though… what if this isn’t the first time something like this has happened…”

“Wha-what do you mean?” she asked.

You pulled out the polaroid and handed it to Ellie, “I- I found this in your jacket.”

“Y/n I swear I didn't put that there. I have no idea where it came from. Please, please believe me.”

“I do, I do. But that means someone else put it there, and they probably wrote that message too.”

Her head fell into her hands as she let out a sigh, “Fuck. We’re so fucked.”

“So what do we do?” 

“We go on that camping trip and keep our mouths shut till we know more.” 

“Seriously? What is camping gonna help? I already said I’m not going!” you yelled.

“Like hell you are! You’re insane if you think staying in the same town with the psycho freak who's borderline blackmailing us is gonna solve shit! If we’re in the woods they can’t get to us.” Ellie argued, face turning red with insistence.

“Fuck. I guess you’re kinda right. I’ll go.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you sleep over tonight though? I’m scared Els. I don’t even wanna think about being alone after tonight.”

She gave you a kiss on the forehead, “Of course I’ll stay the night. We’re in this together, okay?”

“Okay.”

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

The next morning Reid came barreling over in his beat up white van. He haphazardly whipped into the driveway of your two story home that looked straight out of suburbia. Ellie stood at the top of the concrete hill holding your pink duffle and her navy blue one on the dip of her shoulder. Xavier swung open the sliding door and the both of you climbed in as you were practically slapped in the face with the smell of old bong water and way too many Little Trees air fresheners that somehow made the smell worse.

“Fuckk Reid, you’ve gotta get rid of this kidnapper van.” Ellie remarked, holding her nose and pretending to gag a couple times.

“Fuck off Ellie, you should be thanking me for driving you bums around.”

She just rolled her eyes, “Righttt… Right…” 

The van quickly took to the road again, heading straight for the forest where it all happened just 1 year ago.

“It’s too quiet in here. Can we please put on some music?” Lottie asked about 30 minutes into the drive. 

“Yeah sure. I have a few tapes in the console right there if you wanna put one in.” Reid gestured to the compartment on the passenger side and Lottie reached in, pulling out the first tape she could find. It was in a small plastic case with no writing or cover to indicate what it was, but it sparked an intrigue, so she popped it into the car's sound system anyways. To Lottie and everyone else’s surprise, music didn’t start playing. All that came through the speakers was a muffled recording of two voices arguing. 

“Shut the fuck up August you’re just jealous!”

“You’re gonna regret this Reid.”

“Are you threatening me right now?”

“You’re the one who-”

Before the tape could finish Reid ripped it out of the player, slamming it into the dashboard and destroying the possible evidence.

“How the fuck did you get this Lottie?! Where’d you find this, seriously?” he screamed as his frantic girlfriend tried to explain.

“It was just in the console I swear!”

“Don’t fucking lie to me! I’ve never seen that tape, let alone put it in my car!”

Tears welled in her eyes, “I’m not lying Reid!”

The bickering continued as you, Ellie, and Xavier sat in the back, jaws dropped in utter shock. You felt yourself shutting down at this new found information. Did Reid have something to do with August disappearing? What were they even fighting about? Suddenly breathing felt impossible and the world went silent as panic set it. You only snapped back to Earth when you heard the sound of Ellie screaming.

“FUCK REID LOOK OUT!” It was too late though and the thud of a full size deer flipping over the hood is what finally shut everyone up. 

“Oh my god…” you shuddered at the smear of thick crimson blood across the dirty windshield. It didn’t matter if it was an animal, Reid had just taken a life and you were basically an accomplice. Your heart broke and the pit of your stomach swirled with sickness thinking of the likely decapitated body splattered just behind the van. Ellie wrapped you in her arms, as if to shield you from the horror of not only the poor deer, but the realization that any one of your friends could be the reason your brother was missing. 

Xavier finally broke the jarring lull in speech, “I- I think we should take a pit stop.”

“Yeah…” Ellie agreed.

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - -

A few miles down the road was a small gas station where Reid pulled over for everyone to recollect themselves. Lottie scrubbed mindlessly at the deer carnage with the murky gas station water and squeegee she found beside the gas pump. Xavier paced in the parking lot like he was off one but it was the pure anxiety and adrenaline that had him tweaking so much. Reid on the other hand was still stuck at the wheel, slouching in the driver's seat, and not making a single move since he put the van into park. Even his deep green eyes remained motionless, they seemed to be locked onto absolutely nothing, just staring into the void. Everyone was a fucking mess. The only people who seemed to be somewhat on this planet still were you and Ellie.

“I think I might gouge my eye’s out if I don’t eat some Swedish Fish and drink a Yerb as soon as possible.” you professed, walking inside the little convenience store with a ring of a bell.

“I think I need a fucking cigarette.” Ellie said in a joking tone, but candidly, these past few days had her seriously considering picking the old habit back up.

“I think everybody does. I’m tired of shit like this happening and then everyone shoving it under the rug cause we’re all still ashamed about last year. I mean, I know I am, but we have to talk about it eventually.”

“You’re right, but even if we did, what is there to say? We were all so fucked up the whole night’s just a blurry mess. Like, did you see Reid's face when that tape came on? It looked like he was hearing the conversation for the first time just like the rest of us.”

“This sucks Ellie” you groaned as you opened up the glass door to retrieve your drink. Ellie approached from behind, slithering her hands from your sides to your naval and giving you a squeeze. 

She planted a soft kiss to the top of your head, “This does suck, but I love you and we’re gonna be alright. You gonna be okay for the rest of the drive?” She flipped you around to face her and you gave an assuring nod in response. Ellie always knew just what to say to ease that panicky feeling that was constantly bubbling up in your chest. The girl then took your hand and led you to the counter where a gruff looking cashier checked you out. He slowly scanned each item at an agonizing pace; Hot fries, Swedish Fish, a Yerba Mate, Chex Mix, and a Fanta Orange. 

“Total is $13.78” he mumbled as Ellie swiped her card and you gathered up the snacks. The clerk's eyes seemed to get meaner and meaner each second you waited for your receipt– until he finally cracked. “You know you’re going to hell for what you did.” 

Ellie backed away, “Excuse me?” Had he overheard something? Did he know about August? Who the fuck was this guy?

“I don’t need any dykes shoving their sins all in my face in my own damn store!” he grunted. Oh, he’s just homophobic. Right. That was y’alls que to get back on the road and out of the middle of nowhere immediately.

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - -

After an excruciatingly mute hour stuck in the “kidnapper van” you finally arrived at the forest where you’d be spending the night. The silence looked to have eased some of the tension though as conversation grew a little more lax around the campfire. 

“Yo Lottie do you have the bud? We should roll up.” Xavier suggested. You nodded fervently in agreement, a joint was exactly what you needed. Lottie seemed to have made up with Reid as she was hanging all over him not hearing a word Xavier said.

With a few calls of her name she finally looked up, “Huh?”

“The weed Lottie.” Ellie said.

“Yeah it’s in a little pouch in my tent if someone wants to grab it.” Xavier got up from his spot on a mossy log and ventured into the purple tent hitched by a tree. In just 30 seconds flat he came storming back out, face completely red and a beaded bracelet dangling from his right fist. 

“What the fuck is this Lottie!? How do you have this?” 

She pulled back from her steamy kiss with Reid to answer, “Oh my god what Xavier? You’re being sooo goddamn annoying today.”

“Could you maybe stop grinding on your boyfriend for 5 fucking seconds and look at what I found in your bag?!” he yelled back. After a closer look the small beads began to look eerily familiar. This wasn’t just any bracelet, this was August’s bracelet. The one he had on the last night he was seen, and all of the sudden Lottie’s loud mouth seemed to shut right up.

“I- I- Xavier believe me I didn’t put that there.”

His voice broke with pain and fury, “Oh really?? Then who did ‘Miss innocent’?”

“I don’t fucking know but it wasn’t me!”

“Fuck you!” he screamed, dashing off into the dark woods. Everyone tried to yell at him to come back but it was no use. He was too angry to listen to anyone but himself.

That being said, hypervigilant Reid stood up to follow, “I’m gonna go find him guys. He shouldn’t be out there alone. Not after…” His voice trailed off but everyone knew exactly what he was alluding to.

“I really didn’t put that there you know” Lottie said.

You and Ellie shared a glance, “We know.”

A puzzled look spread across her face, “what do you mean you know?”

“We think someone’s orchestrating all this,” Ellie said.

“Like blackmail?”

You nodded, “exactly like blackmail. It’s happened to me and Ellie too. Once with a lost polaroid photo and another time with a message written on her car.” You then pulled out the photo to show to Lottie.

She read it aloud, “Don’t believe his lies? Like… Xavier?” Ellie twiddled with her fingers, looking down at the dirt before saying what you and Lottie were both thinking.

“I mean, I don’t want to point fingers because this is a fucked up situation, but how have we all been framed except him?”

Lottie smoothed back the sweaty bangs stuck to her temples, “Fuckkkk. He probably had the bracelet from the start too, he seemed sooo damn eager to go dig through my shit.” 

“So, what do we do?” you asked.

Xavier suddenly appeared out of thin air, “What do we do about what?” Lottie practically jumped out of her spot.

“Fuck Xavier you scared me. Wait… Wh- where’s Reid?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he left to look for you.”

“I never saw him.”

Lottie began to scream and call for her missing boyfriend and without a second thought went straight for the forest like an idiot.

“Lottie fuck come back!” Ellie yelled out. It wasn’t long before she was running right back to you though. A blood curdling scream dampening any sounds of nature and sending a parade of chills up everyone’s backs.

“IT’S REID Y/N! IT’S REID! HE- HE- HE’S DEAD!” Lottie collapsed into your arms dry heaving from the overwhelming amount of tears, pain, and betrayal. “IT WAS YOU! IT WAS FUCKING YOU XAVIER!” You and Ellie worked to hold her back as he denied every claim.

“Lottie you’re acting fucking crazy! I didn’t do shit!”

“Even if you didn’t, you're not helping! But to me, it looks like you have guilty written all over you!” Ellie spat back.

“Fuck you guys! This isn’t fucking funny! I didn’t do it! Please, is this some kind of-” His words were cut short along with his head by the swing of a large machete right through his neck, sending a spray of fresh blood into the air and across your face. It took a solid 15 seconds before any of you could even let out a scream, but when you did, it was pure terror.  

“RUN! JUST RUN!” you yelled. Ellie grabbed your wrist in one hand and Lottie’s in the other, sprinting away with little discretion. A hooded figure trailed close behind, dirt and rocks flying into the air upon each kick of their sneakers. Air caught in your lungs with no release, all you could do was put one foot in front of the other which was a struggle in itself.

Lottie got brave though and took one single look behind her following immediate regret. A rock caught her pink converse just right, throwing her across the dirty ground and setting her feet back from the rest. And as this hooded figure caught up, the moon casting its light through the trees and across his face, it all began to make sense.

Lottie struggled backwards through the dirt with a scream, “IT’S AUGUST! IT’S FUCKING AUGUST!” Ellie halted in an attempt to pull the fallen girl back up and running but she was frozen in disbelief, in horror, in complete and utter fear. There was no choice but to leave her there and as the both of you turned to run, all you needed to hear was her earth shattering shriek to know exactly what happened.

Tears streamed down your face, “Els, Ellie I- I can’t.”

“Yes you can. Just keep running baby please.” And you did for another couple feet until fate had other plans. A hunting trap violently swept you up into a tree, encasing you in a thick net. 

“ELLIE HELP!” you screamed. She pulled and pulled at the rope creating lacerations across her palms and fingers but to no avail. 

“Do you trust me Y/n?” 

Through tears and strings of snot you shook your head, “Yes Ellie, I trust you.” Your girlfriend then took off, leaving you dangling in the air with no protection. It was just you and August now. And with a single swipe of his weapon you tumbled to the ground, twisting your ankle at the fall.

He gave a sinister smile, “hello sister.” You scrambled in the opposite direction, hands grasping at the soil below but never getting far with your limp foot. 

“August please. You don’t have to do this. It’s me! It’s Y/n!”

“STOP IT! You’re not gonna change my mind about this. I’ve waited long enough!” Your heart beats from your chest. What the fuck were you going to do to survive this?

“We’re fucking family August! I’m your sister. You’re my little brother!”

“‘Family’, ‘little brother’,” he mocked, “you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Wha- what do you mean?”

“I’m not living in your shadow anymore Y/n. I’m done being the sidekick to you and all of your stupid friends!”

“They’re your friends too!”

He began inching closer and closer, “No they fucking aren’t! Friends don’t do what you guys did to me. Lying to the police, seriously? Acting like you had no idea what happened? I disappeared and none of you even gave a fuck till the cops started asking questions!”

“That’s not true August,” you broke down into tears once more, “I missed you every fucking day!”

“Clearly not enough.” He slowly lifted his arms, gripping the bloody machete with both hands. There was no escaping at this point. You just clenched your eye’s shut and braced for the end. 

“NOOO!” The sound of a gunshot rang through your ears and instead of the feeling of cold metal slicing through you, you were met with the warm embrace of your girlfriend. You broke.

“Ellie. Oh my god Ellie.”

“I’m right here baby. Never leaving. I promise.” She just held you and held you, rocking back and forth till your breaths got less shaky.

“H-How?”

“A cabin. I found an empty cabin with a shotgun hanging right on the wall.”

“God, I love you.” Ellie smoothed back your hair and gave you a kiss.

“I love you too, angel.” 

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - -

After that night things were never the same. It was just you and Ellie now. But together you would heal. Somehow, despite all the pain and loss, there was a glimmer of hope. Deep down you both knew things would be okay. And they were.

✄ - - - -   masterlist   - - - -   ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss @robinismywifee @sophlovesbooks @97cityy

(taglist is for all callmelola111 works, if you'd like to be removed just kindly lmk)

[temptaetions]

the few things 🌠 b.cc

a/n: the photo above is from the stray kids' 5-star concept teasers. i do not own the media. this being said, i want to preface that this fic is very personal to me, and i felt that it would help me get over things faster if i wrote it. and it did. all of my fics are very personal, so i beg, please don't take them and claim them as your own. please. enjoy. thank you.

synopsis: when he knows you so well, you're like putty for him. when he loves you, when you think he hates you, and everything in between, you're putty for him.

genre: tumultuous situationship au | unrequited love | best friends to strangers | fem!reader | angst pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

word count: 2.9k | lowercase intended.

rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.

warnings: brief mention of appetite loss. please take care of your bodies, i love you. unrequited love/one-sided love, rejection. a lot of crying, a lot of overthinking and insecurity.

what to listen to: how high - ice spice ; is it a crime - sade ; con él - jenni rivera ; dive - luke combs ; tus desprecios - selena

being known by him pains you.

he knows you so well. from the way the light makes your eyes glow, to the chipped pedicure on your toes. he knows your ticks, what makes you jump, and which cheek you chew on when you're feeling anxious. he knows the tempo you tap your foot to when you're impatient, and which foot it is that means you're impatient. he knows how easily you swoon, for the smallest things, and how tender your emotions are. especially after fights with your parents.

he knows how to unravel you, to get you to bare your soul to him. he can get you to spill your beans by simply wrapping his arms around you, and letting his presence melt away at your coldness. he knows that just being there is enough for you, that just him existing within your own existence is enough to make you break. 

putting you back together is the hard part. he slowly had to piece everything back together, checking edges and patterns, dents and slices of your problems being scattered everywhere. he was the only one who did it well, the only one who paid attention to detail. the only one who cared enough to even unravel you in the first place.

seeing him do it for somebody else killed you inside.

granted, you and chan had tried to blossom your friendship into a relationship quite a few times. it made sense, you know? he remembered everything about you, and you made efforts no one else had made. you made the effort to soften him up. to show him not everything was set in stone, to show him that he too, could be loved. you watched movies you hated for him, you listened to songs he recommended, and you chose him. over and over, you chose him.

over your friends, over your family. at one point, you almost lost your job over choosing him.

you remember him calling you that day. it was summer. it was raining insanely hard, and he was stuck in traffic. you were worried about him, and stood outside your job waiting to see his car zoom by. your manager tried to pull you in several times, saying you were going to have to go home if you weren't inside in 10 minutes.

chan wound up picking you up, his car shielding you from the rain and his arms protecting you from the wrath of the world. you got sent home, you were soaking wet, and yet, you were so glad to see him. you remember him lightly rubbing your back, softly speaking in your ear that you couldn't jeopardize your job for him. you didn't hear a word, but 'i love you, silly girl.'

and that was the way it always was with chan. so many of your plans were canceled on a whim to talk to him, so many of your friends both envied and disliked him because your attention was always on him. 

"you've tried this relationship so many times. i will always support you, but just know that a girlfriend without the label, and without the same level of commitment is just an obsession, y/n." mina had said to you as she dipped her grilled cheese into her soup, and you sadly remember how quickly your appetite shrank. "chan loves me, mina. he wouldn't lead me on, he's the only thing i'm sure of in this life."

you never regretted being with chan, in any sense. you never felt that sense of dread when knowing plans with him were coming up, and seeing him never made you feel drained. seeing him made you feel like you were on cloud nine. hugging him and breathing him in was an addiction you never want to kick. you loved hearing songs about love and immediately thinking of him, you loved seeing something random he loved and immediately texting him about it.

you loved chan. and he assured you, he loved you.

so why did this feel different?

over the last few weeks, chan had been distant. you hadn't spoken much, and he was routinely in busan instead of seoul. he had no friends in that city, so there was no reason for him to be there, especially now since you guys were trying to jumpstart your relationship again. it seemed he was there almost every weekend, and your texts went unread (or simply, unanswered) for hours.

"hey, baby." his voice was tired, but you watched as the trees zoomed by in the window. he was driving home, from wherever the fuck he was. he only lived a few minutes from the company, so it was unlikely he was coming from work. it was also late, maybe three hours since you'd texted him last. "hey, chan. where are you?" "oh, i'm on my way home. what are you up to?" he answered far too quickly. it was rather avoidant. you scrunch your brows, sitting up on your couch. "home from where? did you work late?"

"what are you, the fbi?" he chuckles, and you hear the ticking of his turn signal. he didn't have to turn if he was going straight home from work, especially not to the left. "i'm just asking. are we still on for tomorrow?" you're picking at your nails, and he sighs.

"actually, no. i have an event at work i can't miss." he sighs, his eyes avoiding his phone. you sucked your teeth, an action not going unnoticed by him. "oh, okay. never mind, then."

you hoped he'd suggest a raincheck. you hoped he'd say, "how about thursday? we can go to dinner." or something along those lines.

"sorry."

bummer, you thought. the effort from chan had begun decreasing. he had originally been the one to ask if you could try and take the leap, one last time. you both knew that your friendship would be dead if one of you got into a relationship – no one wants to come second to their significant other's 'best friend.'

'best friends', that kiss when they're drunk. 'best friends' who have seen every inch of each other's bodies, 'best friends' who have told each other the filthiest things imaginable and have done little to hide that they yearn for the other. 

'best friends' who don't tell their friends when they're kissing each other again. when they're holding each other tightly under covers. when you're letting him tell you how pretty you are, when he's telling you that you're his. when you're letting him snake his hand under your blouse, goosebumps littering your skin.

"i'm home, i'll talk to you later. bye, baby." 

you don't even get a chance to say goodbye before he hangs up, and you feel a pool of guilt in your stomach, paired with the sting of (in your mind, unreasonable) tears. you roll your eyes, your tongue poking your cheek as the tears spill. tossing your phone to the side, you press the heels of your palms into your eyes, trying to take a deep breath.

"it's fine, y/n. he's just busy. he's just busy feeding berry. he's feeding berry, he's probably heating up dinner. he has to eat." you breathe in, a shudder wracking your body as the thoughts begin flooding in.

he's tired of me. he doesn't want to work things out this time. he just wanted to have fun. this is not about love for him.

you curl in on yourself, letting the sobs take over as you let the thoughts flow.

why did he start this again if he didn't actually love me? oh god, what if he has someone else? what if he has someone else entertaining him, holding his attention? what if he's not playing hard to get, i'm just playing hard to get rid of? 

"oh, god." 

you don't understand why you're crying. he hasn't even said anything about not loving you, or not appreciating you. he never said anything about just wanting to have fun, or having another girl waiting for his love.

but subconsciously, you knew a part of him would never tell you. he knew you, he knew how you worked. he knew you'd compare yourself - from creases on your forehead to the stubble on your legs. you knew you'd wonder what they had that you didn't, whether it was sharing his love of marvel movies or simply being a person who can carry conversation better than you could because they could sense something in him you couldn't after years of knowing him.

but if there was anything you were sure of, it was him. you wanted him, all of him, forever. you'd loved him, for many years. and in years past, you'd yearned for him, but never, ever like this. you craved his presence. you craved his attention, his love, his fucking scent, for fuck's sake.

you buried your face in your couch cushion, letting a sob get muffled. oh god. if he's not the one, after all of this? god, remove him. take him away. i can't keep doing this.

it was two in the morning and you couldn't sleep, the crying session from earlier having lasted far longer than you had anticipated. you even let mina come over and comfort you before she passed out on your couch because she had worked a double shift. you clutched your phone in your hand as your swollen eyes stared at the conversation you'd attempted to have with bang chan.

message to: channie 💘

[9:30pm] can we call? 10 minutes.

message from: channie 💘

[10:11pm] why?

message to: channie 💘

[10:20pm] i just miss your voice.

message from: channie 💘

[10:30pm] i'm really tired.

message to: channie 💘

[10:47pm] tomorrow, then? (read: 11:59pm)

chan hadn't spoken to you all day. it was well past lunchtime for you, and he usually had a lull at work at this hour. he usually called for a quick check-in, a chat about music, or whatever was on his mind at the moment. you loved seeing him in work mode, or how quickly he straightened his posture if a coworker acknowledged his presence. mina was sitting at your table, awaiting her breakfast-for-lunch grand cuisine.

"any man who can go twenty-four hours without talking to you, is not the man for you. anyone who loves you, would not put themselves in a position to lose you." mina said as you put a plate of eggs under her nose, her hand reaching for the hot sauce. "it hasn't even been twenty-four hours, mina. he'll come around. he always does, he's channie." "you ever consider there might be someone else calling him that? calling him baby? telling people he's the love of their life, and he might actually be?" she says, her eyes looking at you bluntly as you let the steam of your oatmeal hit your face. your eyes were still insanely swollen, and you had called in from your job to recover. you turned on your ringer, hoping you'd hear the bump bump of his text tone.

"i'm just saying, honey. don't put all your eggs in one basket." she licks her thumb of stray hot sauce, and you just sigh, pushing your oatmeal away, your stomach now full of unease.

it's been twenty-four hours. or, almost twenty-two.

he still hasn't messaged you, called you, or swung by. his instagram story was blank except for the selfie he took in the mirror at work, captioned mondays. 

message to: channie 💘

[9:22pm] hey! we haven't spoken in a bit. where's your head at? lmk, call or text <3

you stare at the text patiently, hoping you'll see read: 9:22pm. you're hoping you'll see the chat bubbles pop up. you're hoping he'll call, or swing by. but he won't, you know he won't.

it pains you to know him.

you couldn't sleep. you were used to chan holding you close to him. you were used to his calloused hand holding yours tightly, and holding it to your chest like it was your favorite thing in the world. but it was like holding onto something when it's not right. it felt good, it felt almost perfect, but it didn't feel the way it did this time.

things he said swirled in your head as you tucked your arm under your pillow, your shirt crumpling under you. you slept on your stomach, chan was a back sleeper. you remember his judgment of it, saying you would be a deer caught in headlights if someone were to break in. you remember laughing, saying that that was what he was for.

you remember asking him if he'd ever be tired of you, if he ever thought this cycle of trying and giving up would be done. he reassured you, that without a shadow of a doubt, you would never be done. you remember thinking he was the moon that night, and that you'd never want to lose him by counting the stars.

but it seems he was doing just that.

you'd called out from work again.

it was well past lunch time for you. almost four hours.

and you were glued to your bed, eyes rereading the message he sent.

message from: channie 💘

[2:48pm] hey, y/n. i think…we should just be friends. i don't want to do this anymore. we've tried this time and time again and it doesn't seem to work. maybe it's for the better that it doesn't. i didn't realize i felt this way until i went to busan last week. i feel better now. i hope you understand.

you couldn't stop reading it. your eyes scanned the screen, hoping you'd read it wrong. hoping somewhere, there was a subliminal message. hoping this feeling of feeling used would leave, this feeling of feeling stupid. you knew things that started fast, and it would end faster. you ignored all the warning signs. you ignored all your friends.

you wanted so desperately for this to work.

you wanted so desperately for him to love you back.

but you would never beg. no, you'd never beg for a man to love you.

staring at the message through blurry eyes, you held it down, your finger pressing the thumbs up reaction.

message to: bang chan

[6:30pm] you liked 'hey, y/n. i think…we should just be friends. i don't want to do this anymore. we've tried this time and time again and it doesn't seem to work. maybe it's for the better that it doesn't. i didn't realize i felt this way until i went to busan last week. i feel better now. i hope you understand.'

you put your phone down on your nightstand, forcing your back to leave the mattress. you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror – your hair was tangled, and face was swollen. sighing, you rubbed at your eyes harshly, basking in the discomfort of their dryness.

this time, you were done. you were absolutely done.

you were tired. you knew this was a two-person deal, but this time, it felt like you were making ends meet. you were practically praying to make it work, you were reaching further and further for someone who did not want to be touched. you were giving him access to your heart, your body, your mind without any commitment.

it feels selfish, to be done when he's the one who has suffered in the past. it feels incredibly selfish to yearn for him now, when you failed to love him the way he wanted in the past. at least you're self-aware.

and it all rang in your head, once more.

a girlfriend without the label, and without the same level of commitment is just an obsession, y/n.

he's the only thing i'm sure of in this life.

without a shadow of a doubt, you would never be done.

you remember thinking he was the moon that night, and that you'd never want to lose him by counting the stars.

this time, it is him who is losing the moon, counting the stars.

being known by him pains you.

he knew you so well. from the way the light made your eyes glow, to the chipped pedicure on your toes. he knew your ticks, what made you jump, which cheek you chewed on when you would feel anxious. he knew the tempo you tapped your foot to when you were impatient, and which foot it was that meant you were impatient. he knew how easily you swooned, for the smallest things, and how tender your emotions were. especially after fights with your parents.

he knew how to unravel you, to get you to bare your soul to him. he could get you to spill your beans by simply wrapping his arms around you, and letting his presence melt away at your coldness. he knew that just being there was enough for you, that just existing within your own existence was enough to make you break.

putting you back together was the hard part, but it wasn’t his job anymore. he slowly used to piece everything back together, checking edges and patterns, dents and slices of your problems being scattered everywhere. he was the only one who did it well, the only one who paid attention to detail. the only one who cared enough to even unravel you in the first place, even if for his own benefit.

seeing him do it for somebody else killed you inside.

if you had been sure of anything in this life, one of the few things, it was him.

but he did not want you anymore. if he did, to begin with, this time around. and that’s okay. you’ll be fine. you’ll be fine.

temptaetions © 2023-2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[dancinglikepirateking]

Coming Over

Prompt: You go to visit Yunho on a very short notice due to having a bad day and he melts your frustrations very fast. He's playing with his friends but he wants to play with you<3

General tags: fluff, slightly suggestive at one point, established relationship, yunho gamer, no gendered reader

Word count: 2.7k

You are overwhelmed. So overwhelmed. Work was more stressful than usual, it seemed like the entire world was turned upside-down, all the customers you encountered today were in a bad mood, in some way or another, which also put you in a bad mood and have been on edge since your shift started. And when your shift finally ended, it started raining, and you got a text from your parents, letting you know that more relatives came over. Normally you would be able to put up a front and deal with them, but not now.

‘Are you home?’ you quickly text your boyfriend Yunho, right after texting your parents that you already made plans. You were not getting home tonight.

Ten minutes passed by and no reply from your boyfriend, the rain calmed down a little though. You start making your way towards your boyfriend’s house, which is fairly close to the place you work at.

As you get closer to his house, starting to see it in the distance, you let out a relieved breath as you finally get a text back. ‘Yes. Why? Something happened?’ is his reply. He’s probably playing with his friends. Now that you think about it, he did tell you that he planned this gaming night in advance and you are about to bother him. But you felt like you were about to explode if anything else went bad. Your clothes stuck to your skin due to the rain and it frustrated you so bad and all you wanted was to be a bit selfish and hug your boyfriend. ‘I’m coming over, I’m sorry.’ is the last thing you text as you shove your phone in your tote bag and reach his house, ringing his bell and waiting, the door opens a few seconds later and you are pulled inside by your wrists.

You are pulled into a tight hug, your face tightly pressed into Yunho’s chest, his arms wrapped around your shoulders. He didn’t say anything, and neither did you. You just took in his scent and presence, listened to his heartbeat as you calmed down. It was insane how fast Yunho was able to calm you down and ground you.

“I’m sorry I came unannounced, but I really needed you.” you are the one to break the silence. One of his hands goes up and down your back while the other is still around your shoulders. Yunho slightly pulls back to look you in the eyes and smiles at you, bending a little and kissing your forehead. He was wearing his glasses. You love it when he wears them.

“Don’t be sorry, princess. I always love having you over, you know that. Just let me end the call with the guys, and I can give you all of my attention, yeah?” Yunho says as he takes your hand into his and starts walking towards his room. Him cancelling his plans is exactly what you didn't want him to do.

You firmly plant the heels of your feet into the ground and he turns around, once again facing you, with a confused puppy-like expression on his face. “You are not going to cancel your plans because of me. I know you've been looking forward to playing with them. I don't mind just being in the room with you while you do your thing. Your presence is all I need.” you say as you play with his fingers.

“It's really no problem, princess. Let me take care of you.” Yunho insists as he takes one step closer to you, but you take one back, to keep the distance and in a way threatening him. “If you cancel your plans I will go home. I don't care if it's still raining or that I will catch a cold.” you verbally threaten and you look at him with wide eyes and a serious expression. He knows you are not joking.

Yunho lets out a defeated sigh and pulls you into another hug. “You are so stubborn sometimes, you know?” he says and then proceeds to kiss your head. “Learned from the best! Now go back to your game, I will just take a hot shower and then stay in your room.” you say as you peck his lips once and then push him into his room and then on the chair that was sitting in front of the desk, seeing on the monitors the ongoing game waiting for him.

You turn on your heels to go and pick some clothes you left at his house for moments like these, but Yunho has other plans and grabs your wrist and pulls you onto his lap. You are now straddling him, your forehead pressed together. He loses no time and he pulls you into a kiss that quickly turns heated, as his tongue slowly licks your lips, urging you to open them, which you do eagerly. One of your hands finds its way into Yunho’s blonde hair while the other one comfortably rests on his neck, feeling his pulse picking up, all while his hands were resting on your ass and your tongues were taking turns in exploring each other’s mouths.

As you were about to start moving your hips, he pulled away and let his head fall on the headrest of the chair, both of you having your breaths heavy, his glasses being slightly foggy in the inner side of it. However, his neck being so exposed as it was, made you connect your lips to his jaw, placing kisses up to his ear and then down his neck, taking your sweet time into worshipping every inch of that sensitive skin, earning some groans from his part.

He cups your face and pushes your face back slightly so he could look you in the eye. His cheeks were a slight shade of pink, but his ears were bright red. His mouth was slightly open and his hot breath was fanning your face. He was the most beautiful person you have ever seen. He always was and always will be.

“Go take that shower before I cancel my plans.” he says in a low voice, his stare piercing right through you. You wish you could be selfish and ask him to cancel his plans without feeling guilty about it, but Yunho’s in-game character doing his idle animations while waiting to be controlled and the faint voices of his friends that you could hear from the headset on the desk just made it impossible for you to ask that of him. You nod and get off his lap, heading towards his closet and he sits properly in front of the desk and puts the headphones on his head, starting back the call he was on.

“Sorry it took so long, I had something to take care of but I’m back now.” Yunho says as he places one of his hands over the mouse and the other over the keyboard. You rummage in Yunho’s closet until you find the clothes he always has ready for you, a pair of sweats and one of his white plain shirts. You take a towel and head to the bathroom.

Finally a hot shower.

***

Once you were clean, warm and most importantly, dry, you were starting to feel much better. You re-enter Yunho’s room and he was in the same position you left him earlier, but wearing different clothes, as you dampened up the clothes he was wearing earlier. Yunho is in front of his computer, hands on mouse and keyboard and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, however there was a very concentrated expression painting his features, his bottom lip trapped tightly between his teeth. God he is so cute.

While passing by next to him to reach his bed, you lean over and give him a quick kiss on the cheek that causes his features to soften all of a sudden and he gives you a huge smile.

“Feeling better?” Yunho asks while still looking at the screen, but removing his headphones from one ear. You sit on his bed and just hum, to which he nods and puts back his headset. 

You grab your phone and so the mindless scrolling on various social media platforms begins.

You would look over at your boyfriend every time he would let out any sound such as a gasp or a groan of frustration and you would smile. At times you could even hear Wooyoung’s voice escaping from Yunho’s headphones. 

Wooyoung, the person you are most grateful for as he introduced you to Yunho. When he said he has a friend he’s gaming with that he thinks you’d get along with, you didn’t really know what to think of it, but you still agreed to him setting up a blind date for the two of you, and you couldn’t be more thankful.

You and Yunho just clicked right away. There was no moment of awkwardness between the two of you, maybe because he can handle conversations so well. But it’s been a little over eight months since the two of you started dating and things are going more than great.

One of the first things you talked about were your love languages, debating who has what love language, and while he could give and receive love in each and every way (true puppy behaviour), you on the other hand were only really okay with anything but gift receiving and acts of service at times, mainly because you were so overfilled with guilt whenever Yunho did something for you out of the kindness of his heart or whenever he got you something only because it reminded him of you. But you were working on it. Yunho was patiently rewiring and changing your perception of love, making it a healthy one. 

This wasn’t the first time you came over on a short notice while he was gaming or doing other things, and usually you are okay with just being near his presence while each of you do your thing, but this time you wanted him close. This time quality time was just not enough. You want his undivided attention and his arms around your body while you talk about nothing and everything. But you also don’t want him to end his plans early.

And then you get the genius idea.

You tap into the notepad app on your phone and start typing a quick message so he isn’t too confused.

‘Can I sit on your lap please? I need you close:c’

You get out of bed and make small steps in his direction, and once you are next to him you slide the phone in his sight and he quickly reads the note and then looks up at you with a surprised face that quickly turns into a huge smile. “Give me a second guys, I need to go to the bathroom.” says Yunho into his headset and then mutes himself, takes off his headset and stands up, pulling you into his chest for a big hug and you are quick to wrap your arms around his waist.

“Is my princess needy? Is my presence not enough?” he says in a playful and teasing tone, using your words from earlier against you, and you get embarrassed, hiding your face further into his chest, inhaling his scent. “Nope, I was wrong. Need you close.” you reply simply and he chuckles. He takes a step back and takes your hands into his, caressing your hands with his thumbs.

“You sure you don’t want me to end the call? The guys won’t mind, I promise you.” Yunho says while tilting his head to the side, giving you a soft smile. But you don’t fall for it, you are not backing down. With one of your arms still clinging to his waist you bring the other close to his face and adjust his glasses that were close to the tip of your nose. “Yes I’m sure. Just let me stay next to you please.”

He looks down at you, straight into your eyes and you can visibly see him weigh his options. “Two more rounds and then I’m leaving the call, I’m starting to get tired of it and I wanna spend more time with my princess. I’ve been playing with them for the past four hours.” Yunho says as he gives you his best puppy eyes, pouting while looking at you through his glasses. Your biggest weakness: fluffy hair and glasses.

“Deal.” you say after a long sigh and he smiles brightly, leaning into a kiss, a quick one, ending after placing a few fast pecks over your lips.

Yunho sits back on his chair and turns it towards you, making room for you. You carefully place your legs on each side and then sit, slithering your arms around his waist and placing your head on his shoulder, Yunho’s head resting against yours for a bit before straightening it again. 

Yunho then drags the chair back in front of the desk and puts on his headset, unmuting himself and continuing the game he was playing, from now on being more considerate before making any sudden moves or saying anything in a louder voice. Your heart hurts from the love you have for him, the little things making your love for him grow greater. How his arms would hug you tighter whenever he died in game or had a few seconds of nothing happening, how he placed small quick kisses on your neck or shoulder, taking you off guard and making you blush.

You turn your head so you could face his neck this time and you look up at him between your eyelashes. The angle was a bit weird and would make anyone look not that great, but Yunho was still so beautiful. His blonde hair looked very fluffy and messy, his glasses sitting comfortably on the bridge of his nose, bottom lip still trapped between his teeth as his concentrated brown eyes were stuck on the screen monitor. You place a kiss on his neck and see him smile slightly, seeing as he was trying to focus on the game, but he still died and was now on cooldown to respawn. You mute and deafen his mic quickly and he turns to look at you, kissing the tip of your nose which makes you smile.

“I love you, my Yuyu. Thank you for having me over.” you say as you tighten your hug, feeling as if you will never be able to show him just how much you love him actually. Words are never enough, any physical contact is never enough, nothing will ever be enough to make him understand and see how much you love him and that frustrates you.

“I love you more princess, more than you can imagine.” Yunho replies as he adjusts your hair with one hand, ending up caressing your cheek as you lean into his touch.

Before Yunho gets to respawn he sees the losing screen on the game so he unmutes and undeafen himself, being able to hear his friends complaining over yet another loss, which you find endearing to some extent and you giggle, hiding your face into Yunho’s chest so they wouldn’t hear you.

Yunho closes the game before they get to invite him to another one. “This game fucking sucks. I’m logging out for the day, you guys have fun. See you next week at the same time, bye.” he replies, rushing, not giving any of them the chance to stop him or to try and convince him to stay for one more game. He leaves the discord call and takes off his headset and glasses, leaning back into the chair and closing his eyes, taking a deep breath in. You stay like that for a while, with you still on top of him, hugging him tightly and hearing his heartbeat, one of his hands going up and down your back. You find yourself smiling at the comfort and security Yunho brings you.

He suddenly stands up which makes you yelp, circling his waist with your legs this time, your arms around his shoulders, pulling him close. Yunho laughs and places a kiss on your cheek. 

“Now, how about we play something, hmm?” Yunho says as he slowly and carefully lays you on the bed, placing his palms on either side of your head to hold his weight so he wouldn’t squish you.

You smile and bring your hands to the back of his neck and pull him into a kiss.

A/N: i was like 'man i should write things w the other members as well!' and then i got this fic idea with yunho... anyway soon other members as well i hope!

if u have any like prompts in mind please dont hesitate to send them my way and i will try my best to write them!

[4am-enha]

i loved ur enha finding u crying story and was wondering if u could do one w jungwon comforting/cheering on their s/o while practicing hard/during their taekwondo match! i do taekwondo and jungwon is my bias and i may or may not always bring his pc to competitions as a sense of comfort. but tyy :)

A Kick in the Heart.

pairing: (gn) taekwondo student reader x s/o taekwondo partner jungwon

genre: fluff fluff fluff fluff

wc: ≈ 2k

description/tags: yang jungwon from enhypen, basically the ask above sums it up, comfort, support, frustration, “my love/dear” used, hand holding, hug, relationship, happy crying.

note: ello! thank you so much for requesting this, it’s such a cute idea (i’m also jungwon biased) and i honestly needed the motivation to write something on here. full disclaimer, i don’t really know anything about taekwondo because i have only done ju jitsu, so it might not be very accurate but i tried anyway ㅠㅠ. ily, you’re super cool and i hope you enjoy <3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

The ache in your legs only began to hurt more and you didn’t know how much longer you could tolerate the old smell from the mats your now shaky legs stood upon. You had been practicing restlessly for hours alone in the dojang this evening, pushing yourself past your limits, all in preparation for a huge competition coming up sooner than you would have liked it to be. The nerves and pre-comp anxiety you felt only pushed you to train harder, practice more. You had to be prepared and ready for this and you wouldn’t go down easy. What pushed you even harder was your taekwondo partner, who also happened to be your sweet and loving s/o, Yang Jungwon.

Maybe it was corny, but you took pride in impressing him. You desperately wanted to avoid being humiliated in front of him, even if he was the type of person to think you’re amazing no matter what. You had met him when you first joined taekwondo, and were partnered up with him for your first few classes. He had been doing taekwondo for a few years now, and was really, and I mean really good at it, so it was an honor to be the one to work with him back then. He was always the instructor's example for the other students and everyone looked up to him,

Especially you.

He was basically your idol in some sort of way, and you were determined to get to know him. Luckily, he was just as willing to learn about you and you soon became inseparable, spending every day together in and out of the dojang. You had this specific picture of him that you loved so much and you would always carry it around with you, which you would always look at for comfort before any big event or a match. Of course, he had one of you too. He called it his ‘good luck charm’ and whenever you couldn’t be where he was, he would bring the picture like you were there with him.

Usually you would always practice together but you had been insisting on practicing solo for this upcoming competition, even though he was also participating in the competition just in a different section. You didn’t tell him that you had been consistently almost living in the dojang when nobody else was using it for the past few weeks. In fact, Jungwon had started to get insanely worried about you because you just kept canceling on plans and missing out on everything. At first, he thought you might’ve been mad at him and maybe you were giving him the silent treatment- but you didn’t seem mad at all, and you weren’t necessarily ignoring him all-day-everyday either.

As he passed the simple yet so significant building where you would usually train alongside each other, today he noticed a light on where it shouldn’t have been. Only then it occurred to him exactly where you had been disappearing to. If there was anywhere you’d be before a competition, it was the dojang. He felt a little betrayed that you weren’t practicing with him though, and began to worry you might have found a new favorite training partner.

As he approached the entrance of the room, he could hear the smacks of your hits, exhausted breaths, and yells of frustration followed by a light thud. His eyes were both blessed and cursed with the sight of you as he entered. There you were, so beautiful, but so burnt out and sore. You had obviously taken a minute to catch your breath and you were laying on your back staring into the awfully bright ceiling completely lost in thought. He sighed and approached you quietly, quiet enough that you still hadn’t noticed him until he positioned and laid himself next to you.

You briefly turned your head to look at him and then looked back up at the ceiling and stayed silent. You knew he was about to nag the heck out of you for this, but you were just too tired and annoyed to even try fighting it or defend yourself. Jungwon laid there and stared at the ceiling as well, but he wasn’t silent for long.

“Why alone?” he uttered.

You shrugged in response, not sure how to answer yet and still a little surprised to see him unintentionally here right now.

“You really want to do well?” he questioned you rhetorically.

“Why is that even a question, you know I do,” you grumbled.

“Then don’t you want a companion?”

“You don’t need to train, you’re gonna win without any practice, you always do. I mean your name literally has ‘won’ in it,” you regarded with a smart tone.

“Who says you aren’t going to do just the same? You’re probably better than me-” he was cut off by the facial expression plastered on your face when you turned your head to meet his eyes. Your eyebrows were raised at him in a way of saying “be serious”.

“Okay at least let me help you a bit,” he sat up and took your arm to draw circles on it with his finger, “I don’t want you to seriously hurt yourself,” he pouted slightly.

You didn’t plan on it, but you ended up agreeing to let him train with you for a few hours. He was too precious to reject, and that cheesy plea on his face was too convincing. He got changed and returned quickly to begin practice with you.

About an hour in, you hit the ground pretty hard and screamed. Jungwon rushed to you in horror that he might’ve really injured you. But it wasn’t a scream of pain, it was an infuriated scream of failure and exhaustion. Jungwon understood.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna knock it out of the park,” Jungwon took your hand into his own, “I believe in you. You’re such a hard worker, and your determination is unmatched love. That’s why I love you so much, you know that.”

“I’m just afraid I’m not reaching my full potential. What if I don’t do good enough?” You began to fret frantically, doubting yourself left and right.

Jungwon turned your head to look at him and he simply smiled, dimples on full display. He tucked away a stray hair strand in your face and grabbed the little flannel from beside him, dabbing it on your forehead gently, “there is no ‘if’ when it comes to you. You can and will do your best, and at the end of the day you’re always the winner of my heart.”

“That’s so cringey,” you squirmed.

“You make me like that,” he patted your head softly and reached out to pull you up on your feet again, “let’s go get a treat, you deserve it.”

“The building is still open for another hour though-” you began.

“It’s enough practice my dear, you’re going to be swollen and too sore to participate on the day otherwise. Then all that hard work you put in will go to waste,” he tried to convince you.

You nodded and began to tidy up the space, “you're paying though, I left my money at home.”

【☆】★【☆】

The big day had arrived and the knots in your stomach and slight tremble proved it. You were up next, and Jungwon wasn’t there beside you. He was off doing his own match elsewhere. You wished you could’ve watched him, but you had your match at the same time as his and you knew he would win it anyway. He was a taekwondo genius after all.

You sneaked a glance at the picture of him you had and smiled. “I’ll win it for us,” you thought to yourself.

“You’re on now,” the person beside you guided you.

【☆】★【☆】

Just as you had predicted, Jungwon was currently winning his match, but it was getting a bit too close for comfort for him. His rival was actually a challenge and Jungwon almost slipped up a few times.

The thought of you was taking over his mind, which is probably why he wasn’t as focused as he usually was today. It was risky, but he couldn’t erase the thought of you right now. The immense guilt he felt that he couldn’t be there with you right now was suffocating. You had trained until you literally dropped and he was missing it. All he wanted was to be holding you right now and he was so concerned for your health and safety. If someone hurt you, he swears he would go after them.

The thought of you motivated him and he began to pick up his pace again to get this match over and done with. Quickly, Jungwon won the match and cheers were heard from all around the space, but he didn’t celebrate. Not at all. Jungwon rushed off the area and ran like lightning towards where your match was. He pushed through people and almost fell over a few times until he reached the sight of you.

You were losing the lead of your match, but still working hard to win.

Until you heard it.

The enthusiastic cheer from a familiar voice of someone you absolutely adored.

“THATS MY Y/N!”

You caught a glimpse of him to confirm it; Jungwon had basically become something like the flash to support you in your match. He was jumping up and down, yelling your name like an obsessive American soccer mom. It made you giggle to yourself, and almost distracted you.

“FOCUS” is all you could hear from Jungwon now, he was like a coach.

But maybe that’s all you needed. Just, Jungwon.

Because you won your match, even after coming dangerously close to losing. You couldn’t believe it and you stood paralyzed in shock. This win was huge for you because this was a really important and popular competition. Taekwondo students from all around the country had come together for it.

When it was okay to, Jungwon darted over to you and captured you into a tight hug, spinning you around a little, “YOU DID GREAT!”

You had missed his warmth and embrace so badly, and you were so surprised to see him before the end of your match- that you had just won- that you felt tears well up in your eyes.

“Why are you crying my love?” He hugged you tighter.

“You’re drenched in sweat, that’s so gross” you joked.

“Oh I’m so sorry I just-“ Jungwon didn’t get the memo that it was just a joke.

“They’re happy tears,” you interrupted him and cried out, letting them finally fall from your eyes. You tightened your grasp on him, heart full of love. When suddenly, you heard Jungwon begin to sniffle too.

“Wait, why are YOU crying?” You looked at him, the skin around his eyes starting to glow a light red as he wiped your own tears with his thumbs.

“Happy tears, because I’m so proud of you. You’re such an amazing person, and you’re all mine.”

No award could amount to the achievement he felt being able to call you his.

… end …

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

an: ty for reading! lmk what you guys thought, all notes are appreciated and feedback is encouraged!! i’m sorry if there’s a lot of mistakes- i can’t see what i’m typing very well because of the tumblr bug rn where the text is barely visible ugh. have a great day loves~ ENHA COMEBACK OTW HEHEHEHAR.

[camp-queer-and-there]

lucille my old hag can you hit that

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what

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