#my question with this is: will any of the members go straight for Jimmy to try and fulfil the canary curse

[jesterjazz]

Title: Another Day in the Future Pairing: Jimmy Neutron/Timmy Turner Rating: Gen Word Count: ~6K Ao3 link

--- It was one of those rare days where there was nothing major going on. The stars only align like this every few months. Jimmy was in his lab as usual. Libby and Sheen were on a date. Carl was at the zoo. Cindy? Who knows, who cares? Certainly not him. All was right with the world. The multiverse was quiet. Well... Aside from one glaring issue.

"Jimmy. Jimmy Jam. James. James Isaac Neutron. Uh... What is that Cindy calls you? Nerdtom? Nerdtron! Nerd the candy. Candyman." 

Timmy Turner wouldn't shut up. 

Jimmy refused to respond to any of those nicknames. He was far too busy working on his blueprints. Turner was in his lab being a nuisance, touching everything. Despite the number of times Jimmy had told him not to touch anything. Even going as far as to actively shake the chair that the boy genius was sitting on. It was taking everything in Jimmy’s power to not lose it. 

"Jonathan." Turner shook the chair harder. How Goddard was able to sleep through all this ruckus was beyond him.

"That’s not even close to my name.” Not-Jonathan whipped his head towards the most annoying person in his lab. Probably the entire multiverse. “What in the name of science do you want, Turner?"  

Turner shrugged, unaffected. "I'm bored.” He let go of the chair. His eyes went wide with an idea. “Ooh, can we create a bad guy to defeat again? That was fun."

Jimmy rolled his eyes, "You never learn."

"Nope!" Timmy smiled wide. As if his buck teeth needed more exposure.

“Why don't you play poker with your holograms?” 

“He’s banned.” Cosmo said from a distance. Jimmy didn’t bother turning around. The holograms liked to play random board games off to the side. They were unintrusive, unlike their creator. They liked to play chess, monopoly, and apparently some fairy related board games? 

Jimmy didn’t ask questions anymore. The one time he did, he got sucked in for about three days straight. It was brutal. Friendships and marriages were tested.

“Timmy is scary good at poker.” Wanda said.

“What? No way, you guys are just bad at lying.” Timmy protested. A valiant effort to defend his non-existent honor, but ultimately a useless one.

“It’s not fair!” Cosmo threw down his cards. The cards flew over Jimmy’s workstation and landed helter-skelter all over his blueprints. 

"Why don't you just go home?" Jimmy brushed aside the loose cards. The mess would be future Jimmy’s problem. 

"Vicky is babysitting again," The three of them intoned. It was eerie how in sync they could be at times.

Ah yes, the babysitter: Vicky. One of the cruelest people Jimmy had ever had the misfortune of interacting with. They only met once, but the memory of clinging onto the seat for dear life and then being thrown out of a car kept him up on random nights. The world Timmy lived in was absolutely terrifying. No wonder he didn’t want to return. Especially with a babysitter like that.

His friend would often complain about his babysitter. It was odd to know he had one, especially since they were only one year apart in age. Jimmy’s own parents were always around or made his grandma come over. He shuddered at the thought of the last time his grandma was supposed to take care of him. Still, he’s been able to stay home alone more often than not. Not like Turner ever had that opportunity.

"Well, that is her job,” Jimmy continued sketching out a small device. “My job is to work on an upgrade to make travel between dimensions more convenient for the team." 

It’s been something he’s been meaning to do for a while. Traveling between different worlds had become a bit of an inconvenience. First he would need to track down Danny, Spongebob, Timmy, bring them back to the lab or whatever meeting place they were at, and fill them in on the details. Then they’d split up. If they got lost then that took up extra time to track the lost member down. 

It was a whole tedious process. 

Designing something handheld that each member of the team could carry with them would be useful. It would help with communication and knowing everyone’s location, especially in a time of a crisis. It could also make transportation between universes a lot smoother.

"Oh!” Timmy shook the chair again. Jimmy was going to defenestrate Turner one of these days. “I know what you should do instead. You should build a meeting area. It can be in space." 

“You know you could just wish that up, Sport.” In the corner of Jimmy’s eye, he could see Wanda flying right next to her creator. 

“Oh yeah.” Timmy blinked. “Nah, later. I want to annoy Jimmy right now.” 

Jimmy sighed as he put his pencil down. “Having you here irritating me this only seems to be a disservice to my future self." 

"Hey…” His friend smirked, never a good sign. “Future self, huh? You ever wonder what you're going to be like in the future?" 

"Nope." Jimmy shut that down.

"Why not?"

"I already know.” He held up his blueprints, tilting his head. Did they look right? No. Something was missing. He put them down. “I'm going to get multiple Nobel Peace Prizes, be rewarded for helping make advances in science, and not be married to Cindy."

"And how do you know that?" Timmy crossed his arms. 

"Because I built a portal to the future." Jimmy said, erasing a detail he didn’t like. He was going to redraw that one bit again.

"What?” Timmy pushed Jimmy’s chair. “When was this?" The table shook with the force of Timmy’s push, sending his pencil flying across the room. 

Jimmy heaved a long-suffering sigh.

His attempts to get anything done would always be foiled as long as Turner was here. At least one of the holograms teleported his pencil back. While they were bound to Timmy’s chaotic whims, they still did things of their own volition.

He remembered his friend’s question, "Oh. A few months before we made Shirley." 

“Huh… Do you still have it?”

“It should be somewhere in the back of the lab,” he said absentmindedly, vaguely gesturing to the back. Mm, erasing pencil lines was annoying. Maybe he should just start over.

“Cool!” Timmy ran off.

Finally, peace and quiet. 

Jimmy enjoyed it for about five seconds before the implications nearly knocked him onto the floor. He jumped out of his seat and went after Turner. He was not going to let Turner mess with time. Let alone unsupervised.

“Is this it?” Timmy stood right in front of the Chrono Arch. 

“How many times in the past have we messed with time?” Wanda crossed her arms.

“This is different. Now we're messing with the future.” Timmy smiled.

“He’s got a point there.” Cosmo mused.

“No, you will not.” Jimmy approached them and the arch. “That’s odd. There should be a sheet covering it.” 

“Well, there isn’t.” 

Said sheet was sitting in a puddle on the floor to the side, discarded. He could've sworn he covered it. Last time, he swore to himself that he’d never  mess with his future ever again. 

Dictator Libby was enough for one afternoon adventure.

Timmy cracked his knuckles, wiggling his fingers as he reached out to push some buttons.

“Turner!” Jimmy pulled him away by the collar before he could do so. He was getting way too good at stopping Timmy moments before disaster. “Let me handle this. How far into the future do you want to see?” 

He looked over to see if everything was still stable. The machine was still plugged in. Odd. 

“Mm.” Timmy tapped his shoes. “I don’t know. Ten years?” He glanced at Cosmo and Wanda. Cosmo only shrugged.

Ten years? They would only be in their early twenties. Well, there was no doubt Jimmy would find some success. He’d probably be in college, finishing up a master’s… Or maybe even a doctorate.  

While his parents wanted him to stay in elementary school to be around other kids his age, they didn't have those same restrictions when it came to his later teen years. If he played his cards right he could probably finish up high school early. A vague plan, but a plan nonetheless.

The next ten years didn't seem that interesting. Just boring high school stuff he had seen in movies. Music, dancing, and unrealistic romantic woes.

The last time Jimmy ran the machine he did at least fifteen years to see what he was like in his mid twenties. He was thriving, along with his other friends. 

“Ten years feels a bit too soon.” Jimmy summarized his thoughts. 

“Uh… Twenty years!” Timmy said. Twenty years into the future. It seemed so far away. He’d be in his thirties, basically an old man. 

“I hope there’s flying cars!” Cosmo said.

“Cosmo sweetie, we can already fly.” Wanda reminded him.

“Oh yeah…”

“Alright,” Jimmy punched in the exact date twenty years into the future. “Let’s have a look at Retroville twenty years from now.” He turned the machine on.

The boys peered through the archway to see future Retroville. It seemed altogether more stylish, with better paved roads, floating billboards, and robots patrolling the sidewalks. 

People were wearing sleek futuristic outfits. 

Jimmy searched for his future self. He landed on a house with a rainbow flag. Calling it a house was an understatement, it was almost a mansion. There his future self was, sitting in a living room surrounded by prizes. He looked unbothered by life, and more importantly, there was no Cindy in sight to bother him. Hopefully he was far away from Timmy Turner as well.

“Seems like everything is as it should be.” Jimmy stepped back from the Chrono Arch, arms akimbo as he admired a future where things were calm and he was successful.

“What about me?” Timmy crossed his arms.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, “I don't know if we’d even be friends that far in the future.” Of course everything had to be about or related to Turner. “Who’s to say you would even be in Retroville?”

Timmy grinned with mischief in his eyes, “Let’s find out.” Then he ran right into the portal. 

“Timmy!” The holograms yelled and flew right after their creator. 

“How did I end up with Vicky’s job?” Jimmy wondered aloud to his empty lab. There was only one thing he could do. He ran through the Chrono Arch.

The lights were blinding. Traveling through time or between different dimensions did not get any easier. 

“This place looks cool!” Timmy yelled, which made Jimmy flinch. His ears were still ringing a bit. 

Turner never seemed to be affected by these sorts of things. Were those the consequences of having holograms teleporting him anywhere? Did that make things easier? He would do more research, but Timmy was very protective of Cosmo and Wanda. 

After Jimmy’s eyes adjusted, he looked around. It was still very much Retroville. They landed in a more suburban area. Not a place Jimmy frequented. This was more where the upper middle class were located. His parents were regular middle class.

He only knew where they were because this street went all out during Halloween. There would be fake skeletons, grand decorations,  and oh, the candy would be marvelous.

This was probably the street where his future self lived. Nice.

The holograms were no longer in their fairy forms. Instead they had morphed into oddly colored squirrels, sitting right next to Timmy.

“Turner!” Jimmy yelled, Timmy’s wonder crashed into annoyance at Jimmy’s voice. “You weren't supposed to go into the future.” Jimmy’s eyes widened in panic. He patted himself down. “Darn it, and we have no means of getting back.”

Jimmy didn’t even have Goddard with him. At least last time he was in the future with Carl and Sheen, the robo- dog was there to help make travel easier.

“Speak for yourself, I have Cosmo and Wanda to poof me back. You however, seem very unprepared.” Timmy said.

“We are not going to leave Jimmy stranded in the past.” Wanda scolded.

“Thank you Wanda. I came unprepared because you ran here with no warning.” Jimmy said.

“You saw my scheming face.” Timmy shrugged. “You were warned.” 

“Not the point.” Jimmy groaned. “Let’s go find James.” He started walking.

“Who’s James?” Timmy jogged up to him. That jog became a walk, matching Jimmy’s pace.

“Future me, I don't want to say future Jimmy a hundred times.”

“Oh. That makes sense. Do we call my future self something else too?”

“Thomas does sound like a more grown up name.”

“Thomas?!” Timmy stopped. “You think my name is Thomas? Ew.”

Jimmy smiled at his friend’s distress in the slowly growing distance between them.

Timmy caught up to him, “Why are we even friends? I thought you knew me.” 

“If your full name isn't Thomas then what is it?”

“Timothy.”

Jimmy snorted, “Timothy? Timothy Turner.”

“Timothy Tiberius Turner.”

“Your dimension is obsessed with alliteration.”

“Nope, just my parents.”

Jimmy opened his mouth, ready to insult them. He closed it. Timmy didn't mention his parents often. Though from the little bits of information that Jimmy has been able to gather from context clues and through interacting with them, they didn't seem like the best. 

Yet Timmy was still fond of them. He got defensive if anyone implied otherwise. It wasn't worth the petty squabble. 

They kept walking.

“So what are we looking for?” Timmy broke the silence.

“James’ house. I saw it briefly before we went.” 

“You remember it?”

“Barely.” Jimmy sighed. “I know it had a flag outside.”

“Like that?” Timmy pointed to a rainbow flag.“What country is that?” 

“No country has that flag.” Jimmy said. 

It’s odd. He didn’t understand why he would have a rainbow flag outside his residence at all.

“I’m pretty sure there’s a country with that flag.” Cosmo said. 

The two boys and the two squirrels went up the porch. Timmy knocked on the door.

"Honey, I told you to remember your keys-" James opened the door and took a double take. Wheels seemed to turn in his head before he looked down to stare at the boys. "Not you two again."

"Again?" Jimmy asked. This was the first time he had gone to this version of the future. 

Timmy went inside. "Sweet place you got."

"He says that every time." James rolled his eyes, turning on his heel to follow Timmy in.

"Every time?” Jimmy asked.  Alarm bells were starting to go off in his head. “Have we been here before?"

James stepped to the side, “Just come on in." He gestured into the house, a tired yet soft smile appeared. Jimmy doesn't think he’s ever worn that expression before.

Before the future was alluring and full of promise. It was supposed to be exciting. Now that he was there faced with an older version of himself made things feel different. 

It made it real. 

One day he was going to have all of this. Success wasn't a question, it was a guarantee. 

Something would happen that would make him wear this emotion so easily on his face. That was scary, because he had no idea what would cause it.

He stepped inside, regardless of his misgivings. It was his portal that brought Timmy here and he was going to bring him back to the past. Possibly kicking and screaming. 

The inside was bigger than he expected it to be. There was a living room to the left. Timmy was already taking everything all in. The walls were a rich rusty color, and a light green rug contrasted the rich black couch and loveseat. They had soft pink pillows on top with cute little hearts. One pillow was full of rainbow hearts, which seemed like an odd design choice. 

Little trinkets lined the fireplace. Jimmy… Begrudgingly admitted to himself that he was too short to see the top but he could see the edge of a snowglobe  that said Dimmsdale. Something else seemed to have Phantom’s logo on a plush of some kind? Merch perhaps? Following that line of logic, there must also be something from Bikini Bottom, but there were more than three items on the mantel. A hint of new members in the future? Fascinating.

His Nobel Peace Prizes were on full display on a different shelf, the same ones he saw when Sheen and Carl were first looking at their futures months ago.

It was sleek yet cozy. Lived in, but there were no pictures hung up. Which seemed like an odd detail, or lack of one. 

Timmy stood on the other side of the room closer to the television. At least that’s what Jimmy assumed it was. It looked a lot flatter than any television he had ever seen.  It sat on a television stand, books lining the shelves below. Classic literature mixed with... What the hell was a Crimson Chin? Why did his future self have volumes of it?

“What’s this?” Timmy picked up a controller.

“It’s the newest gaming system, I got it as a favor in advance.” James said.

“Really? Cool!” 

Jimmy turned to his future self with suspicion. “Since when did we get into video games and comic books?” He asked. Sure, Jimmy liked video games, but not to this extent.

“My spouse’s hobbies.” James said.

Jimmy eyebrows raised in surprise at that. He got married? But- His true love was science!

As if his future self knew exactly what he was thinking, he raised his hand up from his pocket, showing off a wedding ring with a comforting smile. 

Timmy shook the controller, still in his own little world, “How do I start playing?”

“Nope.” James snatched the controller out of Timmy’s hand. “It’s supposed to be a surprise gift for my partner.”

Jimmy liked using his big vocabulary but this seemed excessive. Why wasn’t his future self just saying wife? He hadn’t even dropped one pronoun, almost carefully sticking to gender-neutral words. 

"Are Cindy and I still married in this version of the future?" Jimmy asked.

"No." James replied, almost annoyed. “You really think Cindy is into video games and comics? She’s too busy being a senator.”

“Cindy and I aren’t married. This is truly the best future!” Jimmy started doing a little dance. “Wait, she’s a senator?”

"Enough about Nerd Brain over there, I wanna know about my future!" Timmy whined. 

"For the last time Turner, we are in future Retroville. Not future Dimmsdale." Jimmy turned to James. "Tell me we aren't still friends in the future."

"That's one way of putting it." James stifled a laugh.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, "I highly doubt I've always been this vague."

“I’m being vague for a reason. We need to get you two back, the past is already changing with every second you stay here, and I’d like the present to stay exactly how it is." James said.

"Even in the future you're still so pushy and demanding." Timmy pulled a face. “Can I play at least one game?”

“No.”

The door opened with a squeal of hinges, and a stranger walked in. 

"Hey Handsome," he said, his face obscured by armfuls of  grocery bags.

"T- Babe! Hi. I think you should stay outside." James said.

"You seem tense." The stranger put the groceries down on the counter. 

Jimmy noticed the buck teeth first, then the wedding ring. The same one his future self wore. 

His heart stopped. 

No. 

His worst fears were realized when Future Timmy pulled Future Jimmy closer, the same way his dad would his mom. Then Future Jimmy and Future Timmy started kissing. The world slowed down. Dramatic classical music blasted in Jimmy's mind. 

His future lips… Were on future Turner's.

"I think I'm going to faint. Or vomit. Or both." Timmy fell backwards.

Jimmy couldn't stop staring. How did this happen? What? When? Why? How? What?!

The future was still messed up. That was the only logical reason.

Future Timmy pulled away from his future self. Good. He needs to stay away. Very far away. A separate dimension far away. Several dimensions.

“Woops. Didn't see those two.” Timothy rubbed the back of his neck.

“I always tell you, you need to be more aware of your surroundings. How many times have I had to save your sorry butt?” James raised an eyebrow.

“I lost count.” Timothy shrugged. “Besides you love my butt, Sweetbuns.”

James laughed. 

Jimmy and Timmy cried.

“Make it stop.” Jimmy groaned.

“This is a fate worse than an afternoon with Vicky.” Timmy sat up.

“How did this even happen?” Jimmy asked.

"I was around eighteen? There was a party in Retroville. Do you remember who was throwing it?" Timothy turned to James.

"Libby, I think. Her parties were the only ones worth going to."

"Oh right. So Jimmy and I get there together, and there's booze. I want to try some but Jimmy starts being a buzzkill so I trick him into drinking."

"Cool!" Timmy said.

"Wait, how?" Jimmy asked.

"Reverse psychology with a pinch of peer pressure." James sighed. "Timmy isn’t as dumb as he seems. He can actually be quite clever, when he wants to be."

Timothy smiled, "Aw-"

"I'm still mad at you for that." James threw a soft elbow into Timothy’s ribs.

Timothy let out a soft oof before wrapping an arm around James’ waist. "It's been like ten years! Plus we're married." 

Jimmy covered his eyes. This was not happening.

"I don't see how that is relevant." James said.

"Anyway, drunk Jimmy is an absolute riot.” An evil little smile grew on Timothy’s face. “He was starting to strip, getting really cuddly, he tried to get in some fights, he started crying over a penny." 

Timothy started to laugh, and James, mock offended, shoved hands at his shoulders to push him away, which only made Timothy laugh harder, though his arm stayed firmly around James’ waist.

Timmy made a disgusted face and Jimmy nodded in agreement. How could they have fallen so far? How could they have fallen for each other? One night drinking caused this??? Yeah, no. He was swearing off alcohol. Forever. The loss of brain cells from drinking clearly affected him.

James playfully rolled his eyes, "I was being set up. Everyone was trying to get me drunk!"

"Because you never got drunk before. It was... Incredible.” Timothy’s eyes brimmed with emotion as he stared ats James. “But then he started vomiting, and that was not so great. I barely drank so it was up to me to take care of him. Then Jimmy starts going on and on about how great I am and then drops the bomb that he loves me, then passes out." 

Jimmy clenched his fists, cheeks burning. "Why would I even be so foolish as to drink alcohol?" 

“I got curious and Timmy really knows how to push my buttons.” James said.

“That’s not the only thing I can do.” Timothy smirked.

“Babe.” James, honest to Einstein, giggled. 

“Ahhh!” Jimmy covered his eyes. He did not want to think about the idea that one day in the future he was going to have intercourse with Timmy ‘two plus five equals six, right?’ Turner. “I need to bleach my eyes and sand down my ears.”

“Same.” Timmy gagged.

Jimmy sat down on the couch. This was too much information, and he really loved information. Not this kind. Never this kind again.

It was utterly mind boggling. How could he- When? 

"Wait, what about us? When did we- You fall for Timmy?" Jimmy asked.

James sighed. "Thirteen."

"What?" Both Timmys said.

"Thirteen? That’s two years from now." Jimmy started panicking. 

There could be no way in hell that he falls in love with Timmy Turner in about two years' time. Yet the proof was in front of him. A life, domestic and cozy with that insane buck-toothed boy. 

"Wait, you never told me you liked me for that long." Timothy said.

"It's cheesy." James said. "It was on a recon mission. So we were gathering information on some mountains. There was a rock slide and Timmy pulled me out of the way."

"That's it?" Timmy tilted his head. "That's kind of boring, if that's all it takes then I guess I won't save you from any falling rocks."

"I don't need saving from falling rocks." Jimmy said.

"Clearly you do." Timmy poked him in the arm.

"Do not! Are there any rocks here?" 

"I wish-"

Jimmy covered Timmy's mouth.

"I fall in love with him? Him? That can't be right... So he saved my life. We save each other all the time. Why was that any different?" Jimmy pleaded to know.

"It just was." A soft smile appeared on James’ face. "I was so grateful when Timmy pulled me out of the way. So many times I had to be the one to think of a way out of the situation, it felt so rare whenever someone else had to do that for me. Yet here Timmy was, constantly doing that. It felt inevitable���"

Jimmy's chest started to feel weird. His hand got wet- Damnit, did Timmy just lick his hand?!

"Ew!" Jimmy ripped his hand away.

“You didn’t let me talk!” Timmy glared.

“You deserve a muzzle.” Jimmy wiped his hand on Timmy’s shirt.

Timmy screamed. 

“Aw, we are so cute.” Timothy cooed. “Wait- Do you have Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof on you?”

“What’s a poof?” Timmy turned to his future self.

Cosmo and Wanda winked into existence over Timmy’s head. 

“You remember us?” Wanda’s eyes widened. 

“Neat!” Cosmo smiled.

Timothy gasped, almost tearing up. “Yeah, Jorgen didn’t take my memories. Saving the multiverse and Fairy World a few times gives you that sort of privilege.”

“We save Fairy World? Multiple times? Us?” Timmy asked. It didn't seem like that far of a stretch. After all, he was on a team dedicated to keeping the multiverse safe.

“Yup. My Cosmo and Wanda retired but they still visit me every so often. I guess Poof hasn’t- I should keep that one a surprise.” Timothy zipped his lips.

“Cool! I get to keep my memories of Cosmo and Wanda.” 

“You were going to forget about them?” Jimmy asked.

“It’s…” Timmy rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “It’s a story for another time.”

Jimmy eyed his friend, “What do you mean-” 

“Who wants cookies?” Timothy clasped his hands, breaking the tension.

“Me!” Timmy got up and ran to the grocery bags, ravaging through them.

Timothy whistled with fake innocence. Jimmy turned to his future self but James only put his hands up.

Whatever. He’ll confront Turner about it later.

“What on Earth possessed you to fall in love with him?” Jimmy gestured to the two Timmys. The fear ran through this heart. There were two of them. Over there, bonding over cookies. The holograms were buzzing with energy.

How the world hadn’t exploded yet was beyond him.

“I’ve spent the last twenty years asking myself that every same question. Why him?” James grabbed a cookie and passed it over to Jimmy. “Long story short; he makes me happy.” He shrugged.

“He’s nothing but a nuisance that causes problems for everyone else to deal with.” Jimmy grabbed the cookie and bit into it angrily.

“We did that a lot as a kid too.”

“Wha- Did not!” Jimmy covered his mouth trying not to let the crumbs fall onto the floor.

James pulled up his hand and started counting off different incidents they were responsible for, “Pants, aliens, nanobots, the N-men, evil clone-”

“Okay.” 

“Addictive candy, permanent sickness, rapid aging, I can keep going.” James gave a mischievous smile. 

“We fixed all of those issues.”

“We also caused them.”

A rebuttal was on the tip of Jimmy’s tongue.

“Oh my God-” Timothy pushed his younger self out of the way to get over to the gaming system. “Is this?”

“Hey!” Timmy pouted, on the floor. 

“It’s exactly what you think it is.” James said.

“It’s not even out yet.” Timothy was completely mesmerized.

“I know. I’m the best.” James put his arms around Timothy’s waist. “I was going to set it up before you got back but I was interrupted.” James glared at the kids. 

“If you’d opened that up without me getting to hear you go on and on about the latest advancements in gaming I would've divorced you.” Timothy kissed James on the cheek.

“You should divorce anyway.” Timmy said in between bites. The crumbs fell onto the wooden floor. 

“Overruled.” Timothy smiled. They began kissing again. 

Jimmy ripped his gaze away from them. Maybe Dictator Libby wasn’t the bad future. Maybe this was the bad future. “Alright. That’s enough.” Timmy stood up. “Cosmo and Wanda, I wish we were back in Jimmy’s lab in our own time!”

---

When they got back to the lab they stood in silence. There was a lot to unpack.

"So, we get married in the future." Timmy started off, breaking the awkward silence.  

"Don't remind me.” Jimmy held his head in his hands. “This is somehow worse than that future where I was married to Cindy."

"Hey! I don't exactly want to get married to you either, calling you Handsome and Sweetbuns." Timmy shivered.

Jimmy covered his ears. "Please stop talking!"

"I can't stop thinking about it!"

"Neither can I!"

"Agh."

"Aghggh!"

They glared at each other. 

Jimmy could never and would never fall in love with Timmy Turner. He simply refused it. 

It was still impossible to wrap his head around it. This was coming from a boy genius who could understand anything.

How could their lives ever lead to marriage? They could barely agree in the present. It made no logical sense. It made less than no sense. It made negative sense.

Wanda and Cosmo transformed back into their default fairy forms. 

“Oh come on, marriage isn't the worst thing in the world. Right sweetie?” She smiled at her husband.

“Marrying Wanda was one of the best decisions I ever made,” Cosmo simpered. 

“Aww,” Wanda cooed.

"It might work out for you two, but for Timmy and I marriage is completely illogical. I cannot believe my future self not only entertained the idea but went forward with it. At least in a heterosexual-"

"Pfft.” Timmy interrupted. “You said sex." 

Cosmo giggled along with Timmy.

“Oh stop it you two,” Wanda said and they stopped.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, "In a male-female relationship there is at least the possibility of bearing offspring."

"Offspring?" Timmy titled his head.

"A baby." Jimmy explained.

"Oh. Yeah no, I can't have a baby.” 

"I can!" Cosmo chimed in. 

Jimmy and Timmy stared at him. Apparently this was also new news to Timmy. It only adds to the theory that perhaps Turner got the holograms from somewhere else. 

Wanda only nodded in confirmation. 

"I'm not addressing that. In a homo-" Jimmy groaned. "A male-male relationship, I could see the potential benefits-"

"See, that's why you're gay in the future." Timmy said. 

"WE ARE BOTH GAY IN THE FUTURE!" Jimmy, honest to God, wanted to lunge at Turner.  

"Lalalalala!" Timmy covered his ears. "Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I couldn't hear Jimmy."

The two holograms did as they were told. They raised their wands, and beams of light with a shower of little sparkles fell from them.

One day Jimmy was going to pop Turner like a balloon. Preferably before their wedding. Scratch that, their wedding day would never happen because Turner would be dead. 

"Real mature, Turner." Jimmy shook his head and crossed his arms. “Can you tell him that I said we need to talk about this?”

“Jimmy says he thinks you should still talk to him.” Cosmo said.

“Nope.” Timmy turned away from Jimmy.  “I’m going to ignore him for the rest of my life.” 

“Timmy says-”

 “I can still hear him Cosmo.” Jimmy cut him off. Cosmo frowned. The hologram was only trying to help. “Thank you though.”

“Timmy, you can't ignore Jimmy forever.” Wanda said.

“Yes, I can.” Timmy crossed his arms. “Watch me.” 

Jimmy walked in front of him, “You’re still in my lab!”

Timmy closed his eyes and turned in another direction.

Jimmy groaned, “I can’t believe my future self would ever agree to marrying you!”

“Jokes on you, Fudgehead. I can't even hear you.” Timmy stuck his tongue out at Jimmy.

Jimmy started violently shaking Turner.

Wanda pointed her wand at Jimmy and dragged him to the other side of the lab.

“Aw, I hate seeing couples fight.” Cosmo said.

“We’re not a couple!” The two kids shouted. 

“Oh no, they’re divorcing.” Cosmo grabbed his wife in fear. “Wanda, we have to fix this.” He shook her.

“They aren't even married yet!” Wanda pushed Cosmo off of her. She looked back at the two boys in front of her. “Err- Will be? Time travel is tricky.”

“I do not want to get married. No way, especially not to peanut skull over there.” Timmy said.

There had to be a way to get out of this situation. He just needed to think, think, t h i n k.

Brain blast. 

“What if we just forget?” Jimmy thought aloud to himself. He started grabbing materials to make a device to forget.

“Forget? Uh, are you sure that’s a good idea kiddo?” Wanda asked.

“I’m very forgetful. I forgot where I put my lawn gnome the other day.” Cosmo said. 

Jimmy spread out the materials and started working on the device, “If we forget then we can live without the burden of knowing our future selves fates.” 

“Wait, what is Jimmy doing?” Timmy looked back and forth between the three of them. “I wish I could hear Jimmy again.” 

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands. The “wish” came true.

“You’ve finally come to your senses.” Jimmy said flatly.

“What were you saying before?” Timmy asked.

“We clearly don't like knowing we’re married, so let’s change that.” Jimmy started putting the pieces together. “I can build an amnesia ray-” “I saw one back over there.” Timmy pointed in a random direction with a strange amount of conviction. 

“I don’t remember building such a thing.” Jimmy scratched his head, putting down the pieces. “Of course you wouldn’t remember. It’s an amnesia ray. Duh.” Cosmo said.

He almost hated how much that made sense.

“Well, let’s grab it and forget this awful day.” Jimmy saud.

“Wait!” Timmy tackled him. 

“What in the name of Einstein are you doing?” Jimmy tried to glare at Turner but that proved futile. All he could do was kick and punch the air and floor. 

Timmy sat on the genius’ back, “You’re trying to entrap me in a marriage.”

“Excuse me?” Jimmy stopped.

“I know a loophole when I see one. If we forget, then we get married. If we remember, then we won't get married. You want us to get married.”

Jimmy’s jaw dropped. “What?” Darn it, he did not think of it that way. “I don’t want us to get married at all!” 

Timmy narrowed his eyes. “I’m onto your games, Neutron.” 

“That’s enough.” Wanda pointed her wand at the boys and pushed them to opposite sides of the lab. “You two are acting ridiculous. One, marriage isn’t something that just happens. It’s a commitment. One you make every single day. That type of love comes once in a lifetime for humans. Your future selves were deeply in love. They experienced things you’ve yet to, their decision may not make sense now but who’s to say it won’t later down the line?”

“Yuck.” Timmy made a face.

“Absolutely not.” Jimmy folded his arms defiantly.

“Which brings me to point number two, you two are children.” Wanda reminded them.

“So don’t worry so much about marriage.” Cosmo chirped.

“It’s been a long day.” Jimmy yawned. “Maybe we shouldn’t act with such haste.”

“I guess you guys are right. It’s been a crazy day. I wish we could just forget this ever happened.” Timmy sighed.

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Turner-”

“Wait!” Timmy yelled.

Cosmo’s wand flashed.

---

It was one of those rare days where it was quiet in the lab. Jimmy worked on some projects that he had been avoiding. Carl and Sheen were both independently busy. The multiverse was quiet, well... Aside from one boy with gigantic teeth.

"Jimmy, I'm bored." Timmy Turner said.

"And that is my problem because...?" Jimmy asked as he screwed in a piece for his working prototype for a new communication device.

"Because- Woah!"

Jimmy turned around. It was him but taller? Him as an adult.

Future Jimmy shot a laser at Chrono Arch. It exploded into nothingness.

"What are you doing?" Jimmy ran over to the newly destroyed portal.

"You two keep going into the future, get freaked out, decide to forget, go back into the future, get freaked out- It's annoying. Cute the first few times, but I'm at my limit." Future Jimmy threw a small box towards Timmy. "Have fun."

Timmy caught the box, "Decimator 2: Destiny's Revenge. Cool! This isn't even out yet." 

"He's so easily entertained." Future Jimmy said, with a slight fondness.

"Do you remember the last time he had a copy of Decimator?" Jimmy glared at his future self, trying to get a hold of Timmy but he already ran away to cause chaos.

"Of course I do, you can handle it. You always do." Future Jimmy ruffled his hair. 

"Hey!" Jimmy tried to fix his hair.

"Take care. Don't try to kill each other." Future him punched something onto his wrist device. They made eye contact. “I shouldn't say anything but, good luck. I promise it will be worth the wait.”

“What’s worth the wait?” Jimmy asked.

Future Jimmy only glanced at Timmy. 

Before Jimmy could ask what he meant but his future self already left. 

“Uh… Jimmy. I think I broke something.” Timmy held up the broken prototype Jimmy was working on not even three minutes ago.

Oh. 

Oh, a thousand deaths for Timmy Turner. His future self was definitely talking about planning the perfect method to get rid of one of the most idiotic children he ever had to meet. That had to be it. There was no other logical explanation. Turner’s death would be wonderful and it would be worth the wait.

[br1ghtestlight]

Bob burger gender and seuxality inspired by @koko-raccoon

bob - bisexual and cisgender-ish but also he's had this interaction with louise at least once

linda - she's a supportive cishet ally but she's had Lesbian experiences in her youth so who could say. she also dated gay men in high school to help them stay closeted so she's an unofficial member of the lgbtq community <3 she's like dolly parton yknow

gene - genderfluid and pansexual maybe?? or gay? I don't have a lot of thoughts on his sexuality tbh

tina - polyamorous and straight. definitely a Girl but her being transfem also makes sense in my head so she's either trans or cis either way she's very much a girl. maybe bisexual but like 10% attracted to girls and 90% boys. a pretty girl who was a customer at the restaurant smiled at her once and she thought about it for the next week

louise - agender and uhh.... lesbian? aroace?? one of those she isn't sure yet. she loves rudy no matter what though. maybe demiromantic asexual. Triple A louise (aromantic asexual agender she identifies with NOTHING)

gayle - she's a lesbian but she doesn't know that. she's cis but in an agender way <- does not follow up on this or explain myself at all

jimmy jr - aroace & cis

zeke - he's transmasc and straight

tammy - cis lesbian

jocelyn - also lesbian :) and transfem but she transitioned when she was pretty young i think. she was one of those four year olds who told their mom they were supposed to be born a girl and her family just kinda went with it and she was on hormone blockers by 5th grade ("Good for her")

rudy - straight but possibly transfem in which case he'd be a lesbian. not sure. definitely has egg vibes

darryl - he's cishet </3 but his lovely girlfriend is bisexual so he's that type of guy who would be at pride anyway (does not clarify who his girlfriend is. doesnt matter)

teddy - bisexual and asexual bcuz @koko-raccoon helped me see the vision. he does not know asexuality is a thing. could see him as transmasc too for sure. also polyamorous but in a casual way its not something he'd actively seek out but he wouldn't mind being in a relationship with multiple people either (same w/ bob and linda) he's got such a big heart

mort - he's never labelled himself but i think he wouldn't question it if he was in a relationship with a guy or found himself attracted to one. he's easy. maybe he'd just label himself as queer

mr frond - probably transfem and definitely bisexual. also asexual i think

mr ambrose - going to quote @koko-raccoon here bcuz they got it exactly accurate. don't need to reinvent the wheel. "no label. Uses queer to describe himself. Will go by any pronouns and will fuck anyone and it will be considered gay sex no matter who you are"

sasha - gay and came out at like age 7

duncan - also gay and nonbinary somehow. he/they energy

marshmallow - transfem lesbian

calvin - bisexual but is more into men than women. maybe like 30/70 attraction wise

felix - has questioned his gender identity on at least five seperate occasions but it never goes anywhere bcuz its too stressful for him and he's a little crazy. always feels like he's "queer" somehow but he knows he isn't attracted to men so he doesn't know what else it could be. dressed up in his mom's clothes and makeup ALL THE TIME as a kid. dont worry she'll get there eventually

gretchen - straight but transfem

jimmy pesto - horrible horrible Gay man who has to work through 500 layers of internalized homophobia. he's like a gay man trapped in the body and mind of a 1950s husband

andy - aroace

ollie - demiromantic straight and asexual

harley - pansexual and she gets a little nonbinary w/ it. collects microlabels like stickers when she's older

henry haber - cishet but also supports his awesome pansexual girlfriend (susmita) him and darryl should form a club

susmita - pansexual as previously mentioned

[95zintheirownworld]

Tae making Interviews about Jimin

“Can I go back to talking about Jimin?” is rlly Tae’s mood 24/7 and I don’t blame him

for my dear anon

there really Are a lot to enjoy but im including in this post only my Favorite instances. im working on a “vmin interviews” post with all the times vmin have talked about eo in interviews so pls look forward to that as well

right. On To The Compilation

i think we should start off with this one simply bcuz of how random it was?? and tae just slipped it in with ease while talking about how the grand central On performance was special to them

PLSSSSSSSS 

from the Same interview. tae not being able to shut up about jimin’s intro in BST. both jinmin were so ??!!?!? over it

when bst was first brought up in the interview:

after everyone finished talking:

my man said head empty jimin only!

this jimmy fallon interview??

fallon: V, what were you like in high school

tae: GLAD you asked. so jimin was brilliant and he always woke me up

more from the same interview

he’s SO funny

this is old but also SO EXTREMELY FUNNY

fan: waxing poetic about his encounter with tae

tae: thanks. i was on a date with jiminie

LIKE?!?!!?!? im in agreement with joon here TAEEE

also the vmin gucci sweater makes this X10000 times more precious

interviewer: what did you do in your spare time

tae: yes, jiminie, what have You been upto *heart eyes, hold hands

on this note, why Were they holding hands for a solid minute in this interview

another one from dynamite era! tae just??? randomly turning all the attention to jimin in the middle of the press conference

HIS SMILE AFTER JIMIN DID IT HE IS SO CUTEEEEE

this one from let’s bts will Always be funny to me in that tae didn’t have to mention jimin at all????

interviewer: what does ARMY mean to you

tae: they’re like my close friends BUT OF COURSE JIMIN IS MY ONE AND ONLY FRIEND

ok ;-;-;-;-;--;-;

THIS NEXT ONE you all should Rlly watch the clip for bcuz screenshots dont do it justice 

tae: our grammys performance outfits were so good! ji- namjoon hyung and jiminie looked so good!

jimin: thank you

joon:.....okay!

THE WAY TAE STUMBLED ON JI- AND THE WAY JOON IGNORED THEM ALTOGETHER ;-;-;;-;-;

this isn’t Strictly an interview, but bts were discussing their performance and there went the jimin stan

THEIR REACTIONS ARE ALWAYS SO FUNNY

no one:

tae: jimin was great!!!

jimin: thank you

the rest of the members: ...okay moving on

one of everyone’s recent favs

that was so smooth of YOU, tae 

this next one is only random in that PLS GO READ THE FILM OUT LYRICS  IN QUESTION

kim taehyung, are you in love with your soulmate, pls speak into the mic

why is it that when it comes to memories in their hearts, vmin only talk about each other 33333

this next one-

tae ;-;-;-;-;-;-;-; “i did it with jimin. i liked these romantic skinship

and the most recent

interviewer: what feature would you like to have from your colleagues

tae: im glad you asked about my favorite colleague park jimin, the love of my life, the most brilliant man i have ever met-

the way tae didnt even answer the question tho. why ;-;-;-;

bonus: 

some other interview instances where tae Made Sure all the attention was brought to jimin

interviewer: who’s the most playful on set

bts: jin!!!

tae: but also jimin

tae: “this picture from the lights mv is from when i was waiting for my dearest jimin

interviewer: so any memories of japan

tae: ME AND JIMINIE

interviewer: what’s your favo-

tae: jimin

does there exist a bigger serendipity fan

“lets go jiminie!!!!”

this next one is just cute

bonus bonus:

i have to include the random ass jimin fansigns. i Have to, u guys

after a whole year worth of this (yes guys theres more..... ) fans rlly got tired and straight up Asked him 

ok tae;-;-;-;-;-;

annnd that’s all for this compilation. im sure there are more instances but these are all i could think of off the top of my head.

a more thorough vmin interviews compilation coming soon(-ish!)

[asteroshearts]

[Actor!AU] Relationship HCs

[Levi + Eren] 

Levi Ackerman: 

Even though he still has his RBF off-screen he’s a hell of a lot nicer than people think he is. 

Probably asked Eren if he was okay several times before and after the trial scene. 

They used one of your tweets that read, “I want Levi to break my back like a glowstick” during those “____ reads thirst tweets” videos and his face immediately became full-on red when he saw your @. 

I mean, he was blushing before, but when he saw that it was you he jokingly says, “I had no idea they posted this... Why are you like this. If you wanted me to break your back you could’ve just asked me to my face.” 

Great with puppies, kittens, children, and other infantile creatures. If he’s carrying a bouquet during an event or something and a kid comes up to him, he’ll give them a flower. 

“Levi Plays With Puppies While Answering Fan Questions” probably got over a million views in less than half an hour. 

NO ONE DOES BUSINESS CASUAL BETTER THAN HE DOES!! 

People probably take more pictures of you two at the front row seats of fashion shows more than the models themselves. 

Probably has the Rihanna Effect™ where he’ll wear something that looks bad on the OG model on the runway, but once he wears it, it’s suddenly fashionable. 

Speaking of Rihanna he’s probably in a random music video of hers like Mads Mikkelsen in “Bitch Better Have My Money.” 

HE’S STILL AN ACTS OF SERVICE MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH. 

On one hand he does expected “gentleman” things like opening doors for you, closing your car door after you, holding your bags, etc. 

On the other hand he goes to the extreme. 

If he’s not filming something or busy, he’s by your side doing all of the jobs your assistant is supposed to do. 

The directors and cameramen are looking around being like, “Where’s our Important Character Levi” when they need to shoot scenes, but if they find you they’ll just see him following you around, holding an umbrella over your head in one hand and holding your coffee in the other. 

When they first saw it everyone was like...couldn’t you find someone else...that’s not an extremely important cast member to do that... but it’s just Levi, he insists on doing it himself. Your assistant has the easiest job in the world because he elevates all of their jobs for them. 

CAREFULLY HOLDS THE TRAIN OF YOUR DRESS ON RED CARPETS 

When your hair gets tousled or locks fall over your face during filming or photoshoots, the cameramen will point it out, but before any of the hair or makeup people manage to get to you, Levi will just ;; walk over and fix it himself. The two of you probably have the softest smiles at that moment when he’s carefully brushing your hair out of your face. 

Isn’t in a lot of roles. He definitely gets offered a whole bunch of roles!! but especially when you two started dating, he told himself that he didn’t want you guys to crash and burn like many other celebrity couples since they normally spend a lot of time apart and are usually thousands of miles away from each other. When he’s not filming AOT, he tends to take a break from acting and go with you to your jobs. 

However, if he does find himself in a role that he wants to do, he’ll definitely appreciate it if you reciprocate, but doesn’t expect nor force you to. 

Instead he’ll leave your assistant with a long-ass list of how you like your coffee, what you like to eat after a long day of filming, how to approach you when you’re stressed, etc because this man has been doing your assistant’s job the entire time asdfghj 

The only time he’s gently smiling in paparazzi photos is when he’s with you, other than that he looks angry or bored. Like he’ll be at a beautiful beach party with Erwin and Hange but he’s just sitting in the shade with a drink in one hand looking inconvenienced. 

Eren Jaeger: 

OKAY 

There’s this one video of Dylan Sprouse putting his hand on his heart like it’s the national anthem or something when Barbra Palvin walks by on the runway AND THAT’S EXACTLY EREN 

When he sees you walk by either on a modeling gig or on the red carpet this man just stops ,,, and immediately stares and puts his hand on his heart like he’s seen Jesus. 

ALSO does anyone know that one video of the dude tripping over his words when he tries to talk to Jhene Aiko during an interview. 

When you and Eren first met he had to bring Armin as a translator because he was never able to get a straight sentence out in your presence. 

He was legitimately stunned stupid when he saw all of your red carpet looks or interview looks when you two were still new friends during S1 or something. 

follows Ere[Name] ship accounts on twitter and your stan accounts. 

Why do you even have a publicist. He’s your personal hypeman. Sometimes people get confused when they go to his official instagram bc it’s just pictures of you, him promoting your stuff, or really grainy, desaturated pictures of you two doing dumb things together like doing the JOJO Torture Dance together on an empty street at 3AM. These are interspersed with pictures of him when he has to promote something that’s like in his contract. 

When he posts pictures or stories that doesn’t have you in it, the comments are all, “Where’s [Name].” 

When little kids come up to him during panels or out on the street he’ll get jokingly concerned that they’re watching AOT. Like, “Y-You watch the series?? Do your parents know? Is it too scary for you?” 

Tries to make you laugh by pulling funny faces where the camera can’t see him. 

If you mess up on your line, he’ll immediately build on that and goof off with you, resulting in the two of you getting yelled at. 

Quality time is one of his love languages, so like Levi, your managers will work together to make sure your schedules work with each other. 

Sometimes when you have other roles outside of AOT, you might catch him as some regular extra in the background. 

It can’t be helped if sessions go on for too long sometimes, but if it becomes a reoccurring thing due to unorganized sets, he’ll fight with the director and crew to get a break since it’s important for everyone to get some rest. 

If your character is shipped with some character That’s Not Him, the directors know not to show his face during kiss scenes or romantic scenes because he’ll legitimately break character and pout or become so stone faced that he can’t emote at all. 

This Academy Award winning actor will just go 🧍 on the sidelines while you’re trying to kiss Jean for a scene but his stare is burning on the side of your head. 

Eren to Jimmy Fallon or something, “I guess Jean and [Name] are cute but it would be better if it was Ere[Name]. No, no I’m not complaining or anything...” 

GAVE HIS EVERYTHING TO ATTACK ON TITAN JUNIOR HIGH. 

Begged the writers to have more Ere[Name] content in Junior High.

If they let him direct an episode of AOT he will film it like Parks and Rec or The Office.  

[Eren: commits war crimes 

Camera: swerves and zooms in on your face grimacing and Levi’s dead expression while he stares right at the camera.] 

People probably know that they can’t interview him/force him to do lives after shooting because his voice is gone after all that shouting as Eren Jaeger. 

Has a Dan-Emma-Rupert relationship with Mikasa and Armin. He legitimately sees them as siblings even off-set. 

[samaelwinchester]

VOTING TIME

i have brief drabbles from two different fics i have planned written out, but i don't know which of these to continue next. so i'm gonna post them both here let yall decide: which one would you be interested in reading first?

here's the first one:

"Am I speaking to Dean Winchester?"

Oh, boy. It wasn't often these days that an unknown caller knew his full name. That could mean anything. "Depends, what do you want?"

"My name is Irving Welch. I'm with the Men of Letters, and I believe you may know something about the demon Samael."

That last part made his heart lurch and his throat close up. Not only was the thought of active MoL members a shock to the system, but they might know something about Sam. Whether or not that made him an enemy to them or an ally, it sure was unnerving. He almost wanted to end the call and smash the phone and yet he stayed on the line.

"...Hello?" The voice piped up again. It spoke with an unmistakable brogue, and the area code was wildly different than whatever he was familiar with.

"Yeah, yeah, um.." He murmured, mulling over how he may be talking himself into a dangerous situation. But if it meant he had any kind of paper trail on Sam, it was a chance he had to take. “I’ve been.. hunting him for a while now.”

It hurt to even say. But technically, it wasn’t wrong. He’d been tasked with possibly killing him a long time ago.

“Can we arrange a meeting in person? I’d like to know more.”

“Not after only thirty seconds over the phone, buddy. I’m not that easy.” Seriously, was this guy insane? “I didn’t even know you Men of Letters guys were still kicking. I’m not dropping my location without knowing exactly what you want.”

Irving was silent for a beat. “Barely kicking. That’s why I’m calling. We engaged with Samael after he was brought to our attention. He massacred the whole chapter. Twenty-six people, all dead. Only spared me.”

and here's the second one:

What once was a bright, inviting spirit dwelling within Sam was now blackened, scarred over, and pulsing. Cracks ran through it, and something beneath the surface glowed in a manner resembling red-hot magma. It was all gnashing teeth, tensed muscles, and wild, frenzied eyes. But most disturbing of all were the vibrations it was putting out that only creatures such as angels could pick up on; his very soul seemed to be constantly indicating that it was in pain. Not as strong as when he was bearing the brunt of his memories in the Cage, but still lingering.

“Sam,” Cas finally found the courage to speak up, “this killing of my brethren has to stop.”

The beast responded with a smile, and he almost recognized the expression Sam used to make when he was thoroughly amused.

“That’s a little ironic,” he chuckled. “I mean.. I’ve got a long way to go before I’ve killed as many as you have.” With those last two words, his grin dropped. They felt like punches straight to Jimmy’s gut, and Sam knew it. “I don’t do it for fun. Each dead angel brings me one step closer to what I want.”

It sounded like something Cas had to ask about. But another question was of more importance to him.

“You wouldn’t kill me.. would you, Sam?”

Those eerie golden eyes narrowed, and he felt their gaze down to his very core. “Cas.. if your brethren were still alive, they’d warn you about calling my bluff."

let me know which one interests you more!

[jaeminscoffee]

Happy Birthday, Love

Pairings - Jung Jaehyun x reader

Genre - Pure fluff.

Warnings- None, But this is extreemmeellyyyy long.

Summary - Jaehyun loves spending his time and money for you every single day, guess how he'd be like on your birthday?

This oneshot was requested! ♡

Autumn.

The absolutely perfect weather to either stay in and cuddle up, or go out with your significant other.

You were so glad that your birthday falls in autumn, it's the perfect season, not too hot, not too cold, and not too lonely with Jaehyun beside you.

The minute you opened your eyes that morning, you saw Jaehyun, your boyfriend of over 2 years, leaning over your side with a tray full of English breakfast, all perfectly set, looking absolutely tempting.

"Happiest birthday, sleeping beauty" he said, an enthusiastic tone, as hearts basically flooded out of his gaze. He leaned forward, placing the tray full of food on the side table, sitting beside you and placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Oh my god thank you so much!" you tried sounding nearly as excited as he is, but your voice came off groggy as you'd just woken up.

“When did you even prepare all of this?” you question, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you sit up straight on the bed, head against the headboard.

“I made sure not to snooze my alarm this time” Jaehyun let out a chuckle, standing up, tilting his head slightly towards the bedside table pointing at the dish.” Freshen up and have your breakfast, babe. I’ll need to head out now’ He said, a frown forming his feature as you mirror his expression.

“Work?” he nods slowly, you let out a sigh.”I wanted to spend my birthday with you thougghh” you drag your words, reaching forward, holding his forearm is a tight grasp. 

Jaehyun beams a smile at you, pulling you towards him using his other hand, keeping you closed in a tight embrace. “I’ll try coming back as fast as i can, i’m sorry” He dug his face into the nape of your neck, the feeling ticklish on your skin so you squirm. Pulling away, you know it isn’t the best idea to hold your boyfriend back from doing his job, but you really didn’t want to spend the day alone, and so you give him your best puppy eyes.

Jaehyun notices the way you were looking at him, cooing at you, squishing your cheeks between his palm. “They said it’s important”, He gave you one tight comforting squeeze, a kiss on the forehead and pulled away from your hold.

You whine but let him walk away nevertheless, not like you could do anything anyways,and he said it’s important. You watch Jaehyun, walk towards the closet, get a hoodie, pull it over his head and walk towards the bedroom, turning back waving one last time, walking out once you did the same.

After hearing the front door close, you fall back onto the mattress, reaching for your phone which was beside your pillow, turning it on to check for any notification. No, you weren’t all about wanting everyone to wish you, but you weren’t one to not want Anyone to wish you either.

So seeing only 2 of your girlfriends send you a dog meme and wish you, both made your day and made you grumpy.

Great, No Jaehyun, No friends, No nothing

You get out of bed, as the food your boyfriend made turned cold long ago, making your way towards the bathroom to get your day started, You open the drawer to take out your skin care products, where you see a black box, with a golden ribbon tied around it in a graceful bow, with a tiny red heart shaped tag tied to it,

You reach out for the box, examining it and then placing it down, removing the tag, reading whatever’s written on it.

‘Saw you ran out of most of your skin care products, got you the ones you always wanted, hope you like it 💕’

Your heart did a 360′ turn as you place the tag down, taking the box in your hand once again, carefully undoing the bow placing it on the basin counter, you open the box to see it filled with a bunch of papers, which you take out, discarding it in the trashcan. You find the box divided into two, filled with a bunch of the best products.

One side, they were the products from cosrx, one that you really wanted to get, but thought would be a waste of money because of it’s ridiculously high price. The other side contained products from Klairs, also ones that you wanted.

The smallest observation he made of you running out of your products, and keeping a mental note of your favorite products made you feel all warm inside.

You carefully arrange the products in the drawer, going out of the bathroom to place the tag in your bedside drawer, going back into the washroom to carry on with your morning routine.

-

After a long refreshing shower, you walk towards your closet to chose your clothes, when you find a bag at the very back, you don’t remember placing anything there, you’d swore you cleaned the closet not a week ago.

You walk towards it, taking the bag out from the secluded area of your closet, going back into the room to see what’s inside the bag.

You see ‘From Jaehyun, chosen by Taeyong and Johnny’ writing at the front of the bag. Not another present you sigh, chuckling to yourself.

You open the bag, to see a note inside it. ‘I better see you wearing this when i’m back home’

You remove yet another black box, this time, seeing the words Saint Laurent embedded into the cover of the box in beautiful silver. You keep in mind to scold Jaehyun later for buying such expensive stuff. But for now, you open the box, to see a really beautiful Yves Saint Laurent fall piece inside. Gawking at the simple yet pretty piet mondrian design, you walk towards the dresser, immediately discarding your towel, putting on the dress Jaehyun brought for you.

As conceited as it sounds, the piece looked absolutely dashing on you, you even did a double twirl in front of the mirror, totally loving Jaehyun’s.. well Taeyong and Johnny’s choice.

You sit in front of your dresser, opening the drawer to take out your make up products to doll yourself up matching the clothing that you wore. You felt like banging your head on the table as you were greeted with a white box inside of the drawing.

Another one of those tags you see, this time in pastel pink. 

‘Best of all deserves the best of products’

You smile at nothing in particular, taking the note back to where the other 2 tags were kept, placing the third one neatly on top of the other two.

You open the box once you sat back down on the dresser, finding Urban decay’s spectrum eyeshadow palette, E.L.F blush palette, Anastasia’s Beverly Hills contour cream kit, and a set of MAC impassioned lipstick.

You felt overwhelmed with all the gift’s you’d found in just your room,now scared to leave the room.

Nevertheless, you used all the products he’d bought for you and did your make up, standing up once you’re satisfied with the look, grabbing the tray and making your way out of the room to heat it up and eat it.

-

Feeling bored, sitting there all dolled up, with nothing but the same movies repeating on the television, You decide to head out to the mall until late, knowing for a fact that Jaehyun had the spare keys with him so he wouldn’t be locked out. You check your phone once again, to see no notifications. You let out a sigh, making your way back into the closet, taking out a white cropped denim jacket to match the clothing, walking back out once you were happy with your outfit.

You go to the front of your house, after getting the sling bag Jaehyun had gifted you last week, to choose a shoes to match the outfit. You go weak in the knees, when you find another cover, Jimmy Choo written in Gold on the white packet, you already knew what you’d be opening. 

‘Johnny said this would look stunning with that dress, but i said you’d look good in any shoe or clothing piece ;)’

The note read this time, you’re basically radiating positive energy now all dressed up with things your boyfriend got you without having you get to know about a single thing. The fourth note found it’s way to the other three. You take out the shoe bag, opening up to a romy 60 pumps, which had a golden designing towards the tip, it was such a show stealer as you stared at it, mouth wide opened.

After the moment of admiration, you slip it on, not even bothering to see the final look. You walk out of the house, with a bright smile on your face.

Maybe the day wouldn’t be as bad as you’d thought it would be.

-

The day passed by quick, you did not forget to thank your boyfriend for all the gifts he’d gotten you through text, for you to not get any reply back. The other members of his group hadn’t contacted you since morning either, weird from them as they’d been the ones to spam you for your last 2 birthdays.

You make your way towards the elevator, rummaging through your purse to get the keys out.

Reaching your floor you make your way towards the end of the corridor, where your house was situated at.

Your shared house wasn’t anything too fancy, it was extremely spacious, a little too spacious for only the two of you in the house, but Jaehyun's excuse for getting a big house was ‘The boys are for sure going to turn our apartment into their second house’ and so you couldn’t do anything but comply.

You turn the doorknob clockwise, opening the door wide open, humming soft tunes to yourself, closing the door behind you. Walking in a little further into the house to turn the light switch on.

You turn back around to remove your shoes, only to let out a loud scream as all eight of the boys, jumped out of literally nowhere scaring the life out of you.

“Happy Birthday Y/n!!!!” they scream out loud, opening champagne bottles on either sides of the room stood Johnny and Taeil, Popping open the confetti birthday poppers stood Mark, Haechan and Jungwoo, Yuta and Taeyong stood beside both Johnny and Taeil with a bunch of boxes, Doyoung stood in the middle of them all holding two large heart shaped helium balloons.

You started tearing up just a bit, overwhelmed as each of them discard things they held onto the floor or onto the table that was decorated with a bunch of food items, making their way towards you, taking turns in hugging you and wishing you the best of wishes you could’ve gotten on your birthday.

“Yo YO why are you cryinngg?” Mark asked, pulling you in for a second hug.

“Listen, princess we really wanted to wish you the first thing today morning, but two weeks prior today, Jaehyun came threatening us” Doyoung started.

“Oh god yes i remember him saying something along the lines like ‘Spoil the surprise i’ll make you write your names with your nose blood’ boy was that scary” Jungwoo added.

“Jaehyun basically kidnapped Taeyong and i to come help pick presents for you, i see my fashion choice is still the best” Johnny stated, playfully checking you out with a smirk on his face.

“Thank you so much” you say between your crying state, laughing as the boys continued whining about how Jaehyun bullied them over your birthday for 2 weeks jokingly.

“You see those boxes Taeyong and I were holding? Those are all from Jaehyun, ours is still in the backseat of our cars” Yuta huffs out, shaking his head at the amount of money he spent on one of your birthdays.

“Here comes Mr.Lover Boy!!” You hear Haechan scream, cutting you off even before you could speak, as you look back to see Taeil and Haechan holding a huge banner with a bunch of words, standing by the entrance of your apartment.

You start reading it, to be stopped and asked to start over again, but louder.

“Dear Y/n, the one who makes my busy days go so much slower, a lot more calmer and definitely a little better, Happiest birthday, my love. Waking up to your peaceful face, clears all bad thoughts from my head, you looking absolutely ethereal in the most minimal things you do makes me smile a lot brighter, Your tiny complains when i leave you melts me completely, your smile sweeps me of my feet. The one thing i want to tell you, You were, are and will forever be the reason of my happiness.-” The boys all hooted, whistling even, when both Haechan and Taeil lowered the banner, to Jaehyun standing there with the biggest smile on his face, a cake in his hand.

“I love you, Y/n” he said the moment he was fully on display “ And i wouldn’t want to imagine a life without you” he handed the cake to Jungwoo who stood beside you.

Pulling you in, wiping the continuously flowing tears from your cheeks as the boys kept cheering. He pulled you in for a long loving kiss, the cheers getting louder with every passing second, Pulling away once the both of you ran out of breath.

Jaehyun held you close, looking at you while holding the entire galaxy in his eyes, the smile revealing his dimples.

“Happy Birthday, Love”

[tealenko]

Somebody that I Used to Know (Chapter 3)

Chapter 3: Port Observation

Wow... chapter 3 already. This one is more funny than the previous one. I thought this chapter would be difficult to write at the begining but in the end it was one of the easiest.

Summary: James wants to know if the rummors about Shepard are true, so he ends up getting Steve and Garrus drunk to find out. Things get a little unconfortable when Shepard enters the room and overhears part of the conversation.

Words: 2757 Rating: Teens and Up Warnings: Alcohol

Previous chapter -> [link] All chapters -> [link] Read in AO3 -> [link]

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“So you don’t know” James asks Steve while he is dealing the cards.

“Why should I? You know her longer than I do.” Steve takes a look at his cards, deciding how many he should discard. “Why do you ask? Curiosity? Or do you have ulterior motives?”

“Are you crazy? Well, if she wasn’t my C.O, maybe, but I mean… I’m wise enough to don’t get involved in that kind of mess.” James throws away two of his cards. “Maybe I’m trying to distract you with gossip. Well, how many do you want?”

“Just one.” Steve says. “I didn’t think you were smart enough to make that kind of decision Vega, you seem more of an accion guy, rather than a thoughtful one.”

“Looks can be deceiving, I mean, look at Mr. Major specter.”

“Wait, Alenko? No… He looks too, mmm...”

“Serious, right?”

“But it cannot be, I’ve never seen a more ‘by the book’ type of guy. No, it must be… well, It would make sense...”

“What?”

“No, no. This isn’t right James. We shouldn’t be talking about this stuff. Just… just place a bet.”

“You’re gonna leave me like this Esteban? Come on, I’m sure she won’t mind… maybe she’ll tell us if we ask nicely.” James throws a couple of poker chips to the center of the table.

“Yeah sure, I won't be the one who discovers if that's true.” Steve raises the bet. “And why did you think of Alenko to begin with?”

“Ah nah… If you don’t tell what you know you can’t expect me to do so.”

“Do you see the bet or not?”

“I do.”

“And you have good reasons to think if she had something with someone it was with the major?”

“I do.” James matches the bet. “You said it makes sense, before you stopped talking.”

“She is going to kill us.”

“She’ll never find out.” James looks at his cards smiling. “Tell you what, if I win this round you tell me, if you win ask whatever you want.”

“Ok, let me see your cards.”

Both of them place down their cards onto the table.

“Ha! So spill, what did you hear Esteban?”

“God, I should've known better that to bet against you.”

“Spill it out.”

“Well… I met someone who was part of the Normandy crew, the first one, and he told me there were rumors about her having a thing for someone in the ship, he didn’t say who, only that the person in fact was a lower rank… so in theory Alenko fits the pattern, but also do so many others, why do you suspect of the major?”

“Now you wanna know, eh?”

“Come on Vega, why?”

“Why wouldn’t I. Man, you weren’t there on Mars.”

“Mars?”

“Yeah, I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life, you could cut the tension with a knife.”

“Just because of that?”

“He seemed really pissed off with her.”

“Ay James, what kind of telenovela are you writing in your head?”

“Just saying what I think.” Steve starts laughing.

“I don’t even know if you are serious or if you're messing with me.”

“About what?” Says a third voice entering the conversation. Both of them raise a hand a little to say hello.

“Ey Scars, spying on us?” Says James, standing up to go to the bar.

“Just stopping by for a drink.” Garrus says, sitting in the bar area and turning his head to talk to Steve. “What are you two up to?”

“You don’t wanna know… I think I need a drink too.”

Steve sits next to Garrus, in the meanwhile, James, who moved quickly to tend the bar, starts mixing drinks in front of them.

“This will be my first time making a dextro cocktail, wish me luck Scars.”

“Just… try not to kill me Vega.”

“Relax hermano, I’m a pro. Ask Esteban, he was at one of my famous parties.”

“How was it?”

“I couldn’t say… I don't remember much of that week to be honest.”

“Eh eh eh… I see, the best kind of party.” Garrus taps the bar with his hand. “Okay James, do your best. If you’re able to mix something that makes me forget the reapers by the end of the shift I’ll put you in for a medal once this is all over.”

“Sure… this is going to be fun, I’ve never seen a drunk turian.” James finishes mixing the drink and offers it to Garrus. “Are you even able to get drunk?”

“Well… you’re about to find out.” Garrus takes the drink and downs it in seconds. “Not bad, Jimmy...” He points at his glass to ask for another. “By the way, what were you two talking about before I got in? Steve seemed distressed.”

They all start drinking, and Steve succeeds to avoid the conversation for a while, until the drinks begin to kick in, loosening Vega’s tongue. By the time they’ve explained their whole conversation to Garrus, none of them is sure if they will be able to stand up without difficulties.

“You don’t appreciate your life, eh Vega?” Garrus says, finishing yet another drink.

“Come on Scars, we wanna know!”

“I don't. The commander's business shouldn’t be of our interest.” Steve tries very hard to stand up, letting himself fall onto the couch when the whole room starts spinning.

“I agree. And I’m sorry to disappoint you James, but I have no clue If what you say it’s true or not. Why do you wanna know?”

“Well, I’ll be hella funny to tease her about this when I have the chance. And him. I wanna get my info right before I do so.”

“Oh no, no no no… You really wanna die.” Garrus looks at James with an alarm expression on his face. “Listen to me Vega, do not get into that, never, don’t even think about it. I’m not joking.”

“You said you didn’t know anything.”

“No, don’t go there Vega.” Garrus tries to escape the conversation by leaving the room, but in his state he is only able to take a few steps before he gives up, sitting in front of Steve. “You ehm… should leave it.”

“Look at it this way, if you tell me what you’re sooooo afraid of maybe i’ll understand your reasons and put the subject away, but if you don’t…. well… I’m sure Lola knows if It’s true or not.” James walks towards the coach, grabbing his drink, and sitting next to Steve. ”So?”

“So… this is something that doesn’t concern you, and I don’t even know that much but…“ He takes a second, questioning if he should keep talking. ”There was, in fact, something between them,” he finally says. ”But the only thing you should know It’s that it ended up pretty badly, so you shouldn’t insist on the subject.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me. I mean, he ended up pointing a gun at her, what a revelation.”

“Not what I was talking about, and to be fair with Kaidan, she was pointing hers at the council.”

“And he backed her up once she explained herself.” Ads Steve.

“So what were you referring to?”

“You aren’t going to quit, eh?”

“Nope”

Garrus sighs and takes a second to process everything. He shouldn’t tell him this, but he is way too drunk to get to that conclusion and is also starting to think that he will indeed ask Shepard if he doesn’t tell him.

“You see… Shepard and Kaidan only met once when we were on Cerberus and well… How do I put this? Ah yes, have you seen the big dent at the access cargo wall, right at the entrance of the ship?”

“Yes.”

“Shepard’s response to their conversation… She… She broke her hand hitting the wall as soon as we got back on the ship.”

“You’re shitting me!” Says James, half laughing half in awe.

“No, no I'm not. And THAT’s how it ended, so I wouldn’t bring it up anymore or talk about it with anyone, especially with Shepard.”

“What is it that Vega shouldn’t talk about with me, Garrus?” Shepard says, appearing out of nowhere, and sitting next to the turian. “Well?”

The tree of them freeze, and after a few seconds of general panic, James starts talking.

~

“Let me get this straight… “ Shepard says, looking at James. “We are at war with the reapers, probably facing extinction, and your priority right now is to know whether or not I hooked up with Alenko back in the day?”

“Yes… Well no, Garrus already confirmed that part.” Shepard turns her head towards the turian, who is trying his best to avoid her eyes. “What I really wanna know is where you stand right now.” Says Vega, without even thinking.

“Please Commander, he’s… Well, we’re… a little bit too drunk right now. Don’t listen to him, he doesn’t mean it.” Steve pleads, trying to save his friend from the mess he’s in. “You know Vega, he doesn’t really have a filter, now less than ever.”

Shepard sights and takes a big breath.

“No harm, no foul, eh?” She says, examining the three men one by one. “ And you seem, in fact, pretty drunk. Well… I guess you really needed to blow off some steam, eh?” She starts laughing at the situation, and the mood of the room lightens a little.

“Do you want a drink, Lola?”

“Sure, why not? Pass me a beer if there’s any”

“Don’t you wanna one of my cocktails? Garrus really likes them.” Says James on his way to the bar. “They seem to loosen his tongue.”

“Don’t push your luck, Vega.”

“I had to try, here you go.” James hands the beer to Shepard and sits again next to Steve. “So… you are mad, aren’t you Shepard?”

“No, I’m not… I can see why you would be curious about that kind of subject.”

“Not, with as… With the major.” Steve and Garrus look directly at James, trying to make him stop talking with their gaze. “I mean...”

“Oh please Vega stop talking before she kills you and everyone else in this room.”Garrus pleads, seeing James isn’t going to stop on his own. “Hey Shep, I’m so sorry about all of this, seriously. I thought if I explained the situation a little he would be satisfied and would not bother you… but I think he, we, are way too drunk to function like propper beings, I’m truly sorry.”

“Yes, please James, stop talking.” Steve adds.

“I’m just saying that as members of her crew, we should know this kind of thing. I don’t know… maybe we have to protect the guy if she tries to shoot him again.” All three of them start laughing at James' comment, with Steve almost falling out of the couch and Garrus trying really hard to look away from Shepard’s direction. “I’ll be also nice to know if we have to pad the Normady’s walls.”

Shepard is looking at the whole scene in silence, drinking her beer with a thoughtful expression on her face. They continue like this for a while, with James making endless jokes and the other two trying not to laugh, and failing miserably.

After a few minutes the room gets filled with quietness, and as the effect of the alcohol begins to fade a little, all three of them start to realize what a terrible idea it was to say all that out loud, in front of her.

Shepard smiles a little, as they are desperately trying to find something to say. James is the first one to talk again.

“Lola, I...”

“I am not.”

“What?”

“You ask if I was mad at Kaidan, didn’t you?” All three of them stare at her in awe, not believing what’s happening. “Well I am not, so you shouldn’t worry. Now, I think you should go to sleep this one off.”

Steve and James make a sigh of relief, nod at her, and disappear in a few seconds, thanking whichever god was able to let them off of that situation. Garrus, on the other hand, stays where he is, looking at her while she stands up to throw her empty bottle away.

“Why aren’t you?” Garrus asks, with more concern than curiosity on his face.

“What?” Shepard says, turning to look at him.

“Why aren’t you mad with Kaidan?” He takes a second, trying to analyze what he knows about the situation. “I would be, If I were you.” Shepard moves to sit in front of him but doesn’t say anything. She just nods at him, waiting for him to carry on with his argument. “I mean… I was there in Horizon, Shepard. I saw what you went through, for months, when we were with Cerberus.”

She looks at him, smiling a little. But she doesn’t say anything.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like Kaidan. He’s a good guy, a good soldier but… I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you aren’t mad at him.”

“Why should I?” Shepard takes a moment to think and Garrus smiles, waiting for her to order her thoughts before exposing them. “I won’t deny Horizon was a low blow but, after thinking about it, I can't say I blame him for any decision he made. I mean… When you look at it from the outside... I magically came back from the dead, joined a terrorist organization, destroyed a relay, killed thousands of batarians and ended up arrested on Earth.”

“When you put it that way...”

“Yeah… I’m actually surprised he didn't shoot me at the Citadel.” They both start laughing. “I did give him a lot of reasons.”

“I’m glad he didn’t.”

“Aw, thanks Garrus, I knew down there you cared about me.”

“Funny, Shepard… Very funny. You know what I meant. You’ve lost enough people you care about.”

“Yeah.” Garrus sees how Shepard’s smile fades away, looking at the door for a second before talking again. “Well… I’m also glad… that he didn’t.”

The turian stares at her for a second, trying to read her face, and Shepard doesn’t know how to act. She looks to every corner in the room before looking again in his direction, his expression it’s still the same.

“You’re creeping me out Garrus, what on Earth are you..”

“Do you like him?”

“What?”

“Kaidan… do you like him again?”

Shepard is suprised, to say the least. Garrus has never been the type to talk about feelings, and even less in such a blunt way.

“Why do you ask and what have you done with Garrus?” She says laughing a little.

He laughs in return, knowing how uncharacteristic it is of him to have this kind of conversation.

“I just… Shepard, look, we’ve been friends for years now, so allow me to say this, and then you can do whatever you like with my advice.” She nods at him. “If we all die in a week...”

“Don’t jinx it”

“Again, funny… But, if it happens, what would you do, if you knew it before time?”

Shepard looks at the ground, she can’t deny she has wondered about that type of situation, but in the end reality was always stronger than the ‘what if’s.

“I see what you mean Garrus… but if I don’t die in a week and he doesn’t... well… I still need to be able to work with him, you know? There’s more at stake here than my feelings.”

Garrus nods, knowing he won’t convince her and stands up as she does.

“Thanks for the conversation anyway, I know what you were trying to do and I appreciate it Garrus, I truly do.”

“One day you’re gonna have to put yourself first than the rest of the galaxy Shepard, if anyone has earned the right that’s you.” As they walk out of the room he decides to attempt again. “You haven’t answered my question,” he says when they make it to the door, trying one last time before they part ways. “Do you like him again?”

She looks away for a second, a thousand thoughts going through her mind, before she decides to give in and tell the truth.

“Not again.” She turns to look at Garrus, who’s waiting patiently for her response. The look on his face is a mix between kindness and concern, free of any kind of judgement, and after a few seconds in silence she gives him a melancholic smile, taking a big breath before looking directly at Kaidan's room. “I… I’ve never stopped.”

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I'm in love with the friendship between Garrus and Shepard, one of my favourite moments in ME3 is Garrus cheering you up in a conversation between missions. This gives me the same vibe.

I'm also very glad I was able to get Vega in this history, he's always very funny to write about.

Previous chapter -> [link] Next chapter -> [link] All chapters -> [link]

As always feel free to ask for fics or give me suggestions!!!

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

That’s Christmas To Me| Julie and The Phantoms Cast

Dream-a-little-bigger-x’s Countdown to Christmas 

Day 4 

A/N: I got so excited when I saw this one was the next one I had to write! I hope you enjoy! I also wanna thank @calamitykaty​, @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​, @vrthngiwnt​ and @bright-molina​ for letting me pick your brains and bounce some ideas off of you. I love you loads! 

Pairing: Platonic! JATP Cast x fem!reader

Summary: 2022, season 2 was about to be released on Netflix and the cast was invited to promote the show on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. A dream come true. When the host asks them for their favorite holiday memory together, the cast immediately flashes back to that time at the Christmas Markets. 

Song(s) used: That’s Christmas To Me - Pentatonix | Happy Xmas (War is Over) - Echosmith ft. Hunter Hayes

Warnings: Spiked hot chocolates, but no one gets drunk and no one drinking is underage. 

Words:  3,970

Checking her outfit in the full-length mirror once again, y/n sighed nervously. All dressed out to the max for her very first talk show. Her styling team had outdone themselves once again. The gold flared pants, the white satin button down shirt and the white heels just made her feel so fabulous. 

Though she couldn’t deny the fact that she was nervous. She was going on a live show, not any live show, but the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, nonetheless. Her family watched that show religiously every single night. That thought did not calm her down either. 

A soft knock made her snap out of her thoughts and turn around to find Madison in the doorway with an excited smile on her face. “You look gorgeous!” she exclaimed excitedly and ran up to her newest best friend, engulfing her into a tight hug. 

She was sporting a gray glittery jumpsuit with black pumps strapped on her feet, her makeup done beautifully and her natural curls flowing over her shoulders with bejeweled clips pulling it out of her face. 

“So do you!” y/n retorted with the brightest smile she could muster, though Madison could see right through her and squeezed her hands reassuringly. “My heart is thumping.” The words came out in a whisper as though she was telling a secret. 

“So is mine, but we can do this. We got each other, okay?” 

Y/N and Madison had gotten along straight away the first day y/n came to set. It was nerve-wracking to weasel yourself into a tight group of cast members who’ve already spent two years working together, but they made it so agreeable. The first day, Madison and Owen came up to her and started bombarding her with so many questions about herself and her character. All she knew about the latter was that she’d be Reggie’s love interest and the villain’s niece who worked for him to try and get Reggie, Luke and Alex into his club. Which of course, would not work out as y/n’s character would fall for the bassist too. 

The entire cast welcomed her into their group straight away and the whole process became so enjoyable to the point where it just didn’t feel like work anymore. It just felt like spending time with friends and trying to memorize words and songs at the same time. It was weird. But so much fun. And now, they were able to finally promote said season. 

“Madison, y/n, time to go,” one of the show runners said to them when he passed y/n’s dressing room. The two girls nodded and after a simultaneous deep inhale and exhale of stress, they made their way to the hallway where the boys were waiting. 

Charlie and Jeremy offered y/n a wide smile to ease her nerves a little before Charlie held out his hand in front of him. “We got this. Legends on three?” The others nodded and, with a content smile on her face, y/n placed her hand on top of Charlie’s. 

“One,” said Charlie. 

“Two,” Jeremy and Madison added in unison. 

“Three!” Owen and y/n finished and all five their hands went up in the air as they yelled out “Legends!” Though it was scary, y/n knew she had four amazing people that would guide her through it. 

“Please, welcome the cast of Julie and The Phantoms!” Jimmy introduced them and, while the Roots played the infamous intro song, the cast walked through the red curtain. Madison and y/n ahead, holding one another’s hands as to not fall in their heels, then followed Charlie, Jeremy and Owen. 

The audience cheered and applauded until they sat down and the music faded away. “Welcome, welcome!” Jimmy said excitedly. “Thank you for being here!” The cast beamed at the host, unable to contain their excitement nor nerves. 

“Thanks for having us,” said Charlie, the polite Canadian. 

“So, exciting news, season two of your show Julie and The Phantoms premieres on Netflix tonight, is that correct?” 

“Yes!” all five said, though not quite in unison, and the crowd roared again. Y/N couldn’t hide the smile on her red painted lips as she looked out into the sea of people. 

Jimmy turned to the crowd, “If the people at home have never heard of your show, how would you explain it?” His eyes fell on the girl closest to his desk, which was Madison, allowing her to answer the question. 

“Uhm… Julie and The Phantoms is about this girl, Julie, who tragically lost her mom and, with it, her love for music. That is until one day, she plays this old CD she finds and out pop these three lovable, dorky ghosts who used to be in a band in the 90’s, called Sunset Curve. They died when they ate bad hot dogs--” the crowd let out a laugh, and it made Madison chuckle too. “Yeah! -- Anyway, and so these boys kind of help her find her love for music again and they form a band, called Julie and The Phantoms as the audience can see the ghosts when they play with Julie. And a lot of things happen and it’s funny and light and cute!” 

Jimmy let out a chuckle too, “And now there’s a season 2!” Another cheer erupted from the crowd. “What can you tell us about season 2, Charlie?” he directed the question to the boy next to the newbee. 

“A lot happens! We see what happens with Nick and Caleb, and we meet Philippa, Pips, Covington who will stir up some crazy stuff in the boys’ lives, especially Reggie’s,” he explained with a grin. He stirred in his seat a little before placing his arm on the back of the couch, behind y/n’s head. The girl tried not to react to the overwhelmingly amazing scent of sandalwood that emanated from this movement. 

Jimmy’s eyes landed on y/n and she was certain that for a moment, he knew what she was thinking, but then he asked her a question instead. “How was it for you, y/n, as the newcomer to the cast? Did they immediately embrace you or did  you have trouble being accepted?” 

“I hated it--” she replied seriously,  but then giggled, “No, I loved it! They were so kind and so welcoming, I immediately felt like I was part of their tight group. It did feel strange at first, I’m not gonna lie. But after a while, coming to work didn’t really feel like working anymore.” 

“And your character, Phillipa, was she accepted by the other characters?” 

She cleared her throat of any nerves before answering. “Pippa was… well-- she was working for her dead great-uncle, so she had to make sure she was accepted and weasled herself into the friend group pretty quickly. She knew how to get to Reggie especially and thanks to him, got into their friend group.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so excited to watch! My daughters are eight and nine, and they loved season 1 of Julie and The Phantoms. They’re thrilled to see the new season!” 

A chorus of “aw”s were shared within the cast as well as throughout the audience. 

“Yeah, they’re pretty cute.” He picked up his cue cards to remind himself of the next bullet point he needed to talk about. “Oh! Since it’s almost Christmas, I like to ask my guests to tell us a fun holiday themed story before I send them off, do you guys have a fun holiday themed story for us?” 

The cast exchange glances until Owen asked, “Should we talk about the Christmas market we did last year after filming?” The rest of the cast made sounds of agreement with a few giggles mixed in between. 

“Tell us about the Christmas Market!” Jimmy shouted excitedly, almost resembling a five-year-old getting their Christmas presents early. 

Owen took the lead on this one. “So, we were all in Vancouver, we had wrapped season 2 and we would soon be going home, but we decided to spend one last night together at a Christmas market in Vancouver city…”    

Bundled up in layers of sweaters and a thick coat, y/n trekked through the layer of snow that blanketed to grounds of Vancouver City. She was trying her hardest not to focus on the blistering cold that nipped at her nose but rather on the story Charlie was telling the others in front of her. His voice boomed into the busy streets, along with the others’ laughter. 

She always loved the way Charlie told his stories about every wild adventure he’d ever been on and the way Owen quipped back with the wittiest of comebacks. Or how Madison would chime in with her typical Gen Z humor none of the boys understood. Y/N was sure going to miss the entire dynamic of the group when they were back home. 

Thousands of lights flickered above y/n’s head as they strolled through the entrance of the infamous Vancouver Christmas Market. She let her eyes take in the beauty whilst her stomach fluttered from excitement. Her love for Christmas Markets had never faltered over the years. It still excited her in the same way it did when she was just a child. 

“Can we get a hot chocolate first? I’m freezing!” Savannah suggested, her teeth chattering as she snuggled into her thick scarf. Smiling, y/n hooked her arm around hers and pulled her closer in hopes the warmth of all her layers would help the blonde girl a little. 

“I heard they have a unique recipe that only the Christmas Market here ever uses!” Charlie added with a wide grin before leading the gang towards the warm beverage kiosk. It resembled a cabin from a ski resort, decked out all the way with Christmas lights and foliage. 

The group stood in front of the kiosk and read the menu to figure out whatever they’d want to drink. “Ooh, that Peppermint Hot Chocolate sounds delish,” Owen said, and when y/n’s eyes landed on the words, her mouth curled up into a smirk. 

“We’re going that route tonight, hm?” 

The hot chocolate he was talking about was spiked with peppermint schnapps and chocolate liqueur. This sounded right up y/n’s street, and she knew it would warm Savannah up from the inside. 

“Follow me or don’t follow me, that’s up to you, but I am taking that route tonight.” Owen rubbed his gloved hands together until the lady inside the kiosk looked up at him, signalling that it was his turn to order. “A peppermint hot chocolate, please.” He sounded way too confident for someone who had just turned 21 that year. 

The woman peered over her half-moon glasses, letting her eyes glide from his eyes to his toes before sneering, “ID, please.” Owen’s mouth dropped open and with a lot of cursing underneath his breath, he reached for his wallet. 

“Ha! Owen’s getting ID’d!” Charlie cackled, shaking his head. The woman’s eyes darted over to the second boy, giving him the same one-up before raising her eyebrows as if saying “I’m gonna get you too, little boy”. 

And she did. She ID’d Charlie too. No one else but Charlie and Owen, which everyone had a good laugh at as they were sipping their hot chocolates, which for three out of ten isn’t spiked. 

While Jeremy and Booboo were still teasing the two boys, y/n turned around and let her eyes scan the entire view in front of her. All the pretty lights and the snow whirling to the ground so gracefully and the music floating through the air made the cold more bearable. 

A gasp eliciting from Jadah’s tiny body made y/n snap out of her thoughts and turn to the younger cast member. Her eyes were wide and shimmering, looking up at the tall Christmas tree that was towering above their heads with tens of thousands of lights blinking back at them. 

“Isn’t that the walk-through Christmas tree?!” she asked, excitedly. 

Madison took her hand and, giggling, they weaved through the sea of people towards the one-of-a-kind festive fairyland. Y/N exchanged glances with the rest before they, too, made a beeline towards the tree, dodging people left and right. 

“Hey, Owen, are you sure you’re gonna be able to fit?” y/n asked the tall Oklahoman teasingly. The boy’s mouth dropped open, and before she could properly register it, he started chasing her. She ran past Madison and Jadah, and tried to duck behind any other visitor until he eventually picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. The girl shrieked, prior to a giggle.  

Jimmy’s voice echoed over y/n’s flashback to the most festive night of that year. “You guys really sound like a close group of friends.” 

“Yeah! We are! We’re like a little family!” Charlie replied, dropping the arm that was on the back of the sofa around the girl’s shoulder. 

“What happened next?” Jimmy then questioned, curiously. The whole scene almost resembled a toddler listening to his bedtime story. 

Jeremy cleared his throat with a chuckle. “Well, if this night were a movie, you’d now have a cute montage of us going through that magical tree and on the carousel like little children.” 

“Yeah, you’d see us stuff our faces with churros and pretzels,” y/n added, making Jimmy and the crowd laugh. 

“And we got a lot of Christmas shopping done too!” Madison chimed in with a smile. “I actually got everyone’s present when they were right there with me. None of them noticed.” 

“Oh, no, I noticed,” y/n replied with a smirk, to which Madison reacted with widened eyes. 

“What’s next?!” Jimmy queried. His eyes were glistening as he listened to the cast talk. He just loved their dynamic and how well they got along with one another. 

Y/N continued the story as her mind tumbled back into her daydream. 

The music had stopped just a few minutes ago, but only now y/n’s ears picked up on the sudden absence. Knitting her eyebrows together, she lifted her eyes to the stage in the corner of the market where singers were carolling minutes ago, and was now completely empty. As the small amount of alcohol made her brain a little woozy, her teeth gnawed on her bottom lip in thought. 

“Guys… Should we--Should we go sing a song?” she suggested, causing all of them to look up in surprise. “There’s no one on the stage… Should we?” she pointed at the podium to emphasize what she meant. 

As smiles appeared on each of their faces, the group walked up to the stage and grabbed a microphone each. Charlie reached for the acoustic guitar on the stand, but y/n stopped him. 

“Let’s do a capella for once?” she told him tenderly. 

When his eyes met hers, she felt her lungs expand with the gasp that left her body. How gorgeous could one’s eyes be. But with that one look, the boy also knew what song she wanted to sing. The one song that had been stuck in her head for the past month during filming. And the rest of the crew knew too because when y/n counted them in softly, they all started to sing along. Their voices mingling perfectly and floating throughout the night sky. 

“The fireplace is burning bright, shining all on me I see the presents underneath the good old Christmas tree And I wait all night 'til Santa comes to wake me from my dreams Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Savannah locked eyes with y/n and a smile fell to their lips before they looked out to the audience they had assembled with their harmonies reaching across the entire Christmas Market. 

“I see the children play outside, like angels in the snow While mom and daddy share a kiss under the mistletoe And we'll cherish all these simple things wherever we may be Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Owen came to stand next to y/n and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they all sang the chorus together, the tall blondie on lead vocals and the others harmonizing in the background. 

“I've got this Christmas song in my heart”

“Song in my heart”

“I've got the candles glowing in the dark I'm hanging all the stockings by the Christmas tree Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

As though they had prepared the entire performance, Booboo led them into the next verse while the others acted as backing vocals for him. His warm, deep voice sent chills down everyone’s spines, especially of the people in the crowd. 

“I listen for the thud of reindeer walking on the roof As I fall asleep to lullabies, the morning's coming soon”

His cast mates then joined in again and together, they sang the chorus once again with Jeremy taking lead this time. While they did, y/n took a hold of Savannah’s gloved hand, squeezing it as they looked at each other with intent in their eyes. Like they meant what they were singing to one another. 

“The only gift I'll ever need is the joy of family Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me I've got this Christmas song in my heart”

“Song in my heart”

“I've got the candles glowing in the dark I'm hanging all the stockings by the Christmas tree Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Y/N turned her head to the other side now, locking eyes with Tori and Sacha, and shooting them a wink before they lapsed into the chorus one last time. It felt good to sing with everyone for once. During filming, it was always just a select group of people that got to sing together. 

“Oh, the joy that fills our hearts and makes us see Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me I've got this Christmas song in my heart I've got the candles glowing in the dark And then for years to come we'll always know one thing That's the love that Christmas can bring Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

As the crowd erupted into cheers and applause, the group shared an intense look, one that said they were always going to be friends. No matter how far away they’ll be from tomorrow on. Even if they don’t get picked up for a third season, they’re always going to be there for each other and be the best of friends forever. The only gift they’ll ever need is the joy of family. And they were family. 

“That was so beautiful!” Jimmy exclaimed after they’d told him about everything that had happened that night in a short synopsis. “Now, I believe you’re gonna sing for us now?” 

The cast nodded in unison. “Okay, what are you bringing us tonight? The song you sang at the Christmas market?” 

Madison giggled, “No, though we love that song, there’s one we collectively think is one of the greatest Christmas songs ever. It’s the ultimate classic Happy Xmas, War is Over by John Lennon.” 

“Amazing! You can go get ready!” he gestures to the tiled floor in front of the red curtain where the crew had set up their instruments and five microphones for them. “Catch Julie and The Phantoms season 2 on Netflix from tonight! They’re singing for us now. Madison, y/n, Charlie, Jeremy and Owen, take it away!” 

Owen counted them in by slamming his sticks together and then began playing the rhythm of the song. Y/N then chimed in with the jingling of the tambourine before the other boys and Madison joined with their respective instruments. Soon after, Madison’s voice floated through the talk show’s studio. 

“So this is Christmas And what have you done Another year over A new one just begun”

When the girls lock eyes, they shoot one another a wink before y/n takes over the next part of the verse. 

“And so this is Christmas I hope you have fun The near and the dear ones The old and the young”

Then the boys chime in, their voices mingling as they linger in the air for everyone to hear and enjoy. Y/N lets her eyes dart over to Charlie, who’s already looking at her with a smile on his face. 

“A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fears”

The others shut up, giving Charlie the floor now. He really was born to be a rockstar. The way he just owned the stage and looked like an absolute legend, singing his heart out and playing his guitar like a pro. And he’d only started learning when he was on season 1 of Julie and The Phantoms. 

“And so this is Christmas For weak and for strong The rich and the poor ones The world is so wrong”

For a split second, he locked eyes with y/n again as she took over and faced the audience with a smile, still working her little tambourine for the extra jingles. Somehow, this just felt like one of their jam sessions during rehearsals and not at all like it was a live broadcast on national television. 

“And so happy Christmas For black and for white Ooh, for everyone Let's stop all the fights”

Their voices mingled together again, and, in a boost of confidence, y/n grabbed the mic from its stand and walked over to Jeremy, rocking out with him as he shredded on the bass. 

“A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fears”

The music slowed down, and while Madi, Owen and Jeremy took care of the soft backing vocals, y/n walked over to Charlie and sang the lines to one another, never breaking eye contact. 

“And so this is Christmas And what have we done Another year over A new one just begun”

The music picked back up. Madison took over this time, and while y/n worked her tambourine, she danced her way towards the Latina girl with a smile plastered on her face. 

“And so happy Christmas We hope you have fun The near and the dear ones The old and the young”

She then turned to Owen as he took over on the next part. He shot her a quick wink whilst his mouth curled up on one side. “A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fear”

Each taking their turn, starting with Owen, they all sang a part of the backing vocals while the boys and Madison played the instrumental intermezzo. “Merry Christmas” 

“So this is Christmas”

“War is over now” 

Returning back to her spot, y/n placed her mic on the stand again, and along with the others, sang the very last lines of the song. 

“War is over If you want it It’s over now”

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause while the band assembled in the middle of the stage. Charlie grabbed y/n’s hand and gave it a small, reassuring squeeze. All five of them together took a bow before exchanging knowing glances. 

This time around, they knew they were going to see each other tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that as they were doing all the promo they could. It felt a lot more reassuring than it did that day at the Christmas Market when they had no clue when they’d see each other again. Though all of them knew that this was still the only gift they’ll ever need. Their little found family.  

JATP taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​@thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay @thedarkqueenofavalon​​ @caitsymichelle13​​ @calamitykaty​ @wiselight​ @kcd15​​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​ @stars-soph​ @kinda-really-lost​ @notasofti​ @alexpjoyner​ @n0wornever​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @tefilovesreading​ @pxperphxntom​ @crybabyddl​ @parkeret​ @headheartbellarke​ 

Names crossed out are the ones I couldn’t tag. 

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist! 

[pinnithin]

invited home

This started as a “haha funnie gman eat a pizza” fic and turned into a soft little story about family. 3406 words.

Remembering etiquette was, perhaps, the hardest part of this.

The “hardest part of this” changed pretty frequently — often associated with whatever he was dealing with at the time. The week that took Gordon’s hand and very nearly his life was several months behind him, but he still heard the echoes of the Resonance Cascade in little things as the days passed. He heard it in the low hum of the air conditioner in his window and the backfire of a tailpipe outside. He kept the lights on at night and heard the echoes in his sleep.

It would never really go away, he guessed.

The best he could do, dealing with the hardest part of whatever his day brought him, was to simply keep living. A clockwork routine grounded him. He did normal things like buy groceries and hike in the county foothills - sometimes alone, sometimes with Tommy. Black Mesa and all the horrors it held may have broken the two of them, but they were slowly putting the pieces of each other back together.

So it shouldn’t have surprised him when he invited him to dinner with his father, right?

They were... well, they were something. Gordon found it difficult to call Tommy his boyfriend when they’d crash landed straight from acquaintances to partners in Black Mesa. The guy was the only reason Gordon was still alive, and he felt that he’d be repaying that act of kindness for the rest of his days. That sort of unwarranted devotion wasn’t exactly grounds for a normal courtship.

But this is what people did. They bought groceries and went for walks and had dinner with family. Tommy was offering this ritual to Gordon in an attempt to ground him, just like he helped him establish his other routines. It was in his best interest to take it.

The one story adobe in Sandia Heights was far more nondescript than Gordon was expecting, fitted cozily into the neighborhood on a street named Desert Finch Lane. It was evening, and the setting sun washed the walls a soft pink. The front lawn was xeriscaped with a bed of gravel and some strategic placements of yucca and saguaro, and a straight stone path marched right up to the front door. Gordon checked his phone one more time before he exited his vehicle - this house seemed far too normal to belong to someone like Tommy’s father.

No, the address Tommy sent him matched the numbers on the mailbox. Briefly, he glanced over the rest of the conversation as he reached with a free hand to kill the ignition.

T: Only if you want to! I know the last time you spoke was kind of weird... G: its fine it was a weird day haha G: no yeah id love to though G: do i need to bring anything? T: :D T: I guess you can if you want? It’s not going to be fancy or anything - we’ll probably order takeout. T: We just like to get together every month or so to catch up and I wanted to bring you along this time! No pressure. G: oh is this like G: a family thing? T: Well, yeah. Is that okay? G: its great! just checking G: see you then

T: :) T: See you.

A smile touched his mouth. Tommy rarely asked Gordon for anything, so he knew this was important to him even if he downplayed it. Gordon wouldn’t say he was a fan of Tommy’s father, but if Tommy wanted him to smooth things over after the Black Mesa incident, well, he’d try. For him, he’d try.

He didn’t know if Tommy’s father drank, so he passed on the wine, deciding instead that one can never go wrong with garlic bread. His eyes fell to the loaf he’d picked up from Albertson’s on his way over, still warm and wrapped in a foil package in the passenger seat.  He’d done the meet-the-parents dance a few times before - a lifetime ago, it felt - but none of his partners had ever mattered this much to him, and none of their fathers had ever been gods.

Remembering etiquette, he reflected, was the hardest part of this.

He slid out of the car, taking the bread with him, and marched up to the front door. It was painted a bright turquoise with the word Bienvenidos scripted across the middle in white decal letters. This struck him as odd, because Tommy’s father didn’t seem the type to care about suburban design motifs, but he only hesitated a moment before raising a fist to rap his knuckles on the door.

Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open, and relief rolled over Gordon when he saw it was Tommy in the doorway. He was dressed in his usual button up, the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and he smiled like a sunrise. Gordon grinned back. He didn’t think the rush of affection that overtook him every time he laid eyes on the man would ever really fade. 

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Tommy answered, still smiling. “Come on in.”

He stepped back to allow Gordon entry, and his presence somewhat quelled Gordon’s trepidation as he crossed the threshold into Mr. Coolatta’s house. 

“I hope garlic bread is okay,” he said as Tommy shut the door behind him. His eyes caught the neat line of shoes in the entryway, and he began jimmying his sneakers off. “I wasn’t sure what we were having.”

“It’s perfect,” Tommy answered, turning from the door. He watched Gordon attempting to remove his shoes without the help of his hands with a hint of amusement. “Um, do you want me to take that?” he asked, indicating the bread.

“I’ve got it,” Gordon muttered distractedly, finally kicking off one shoe and then the other. “You didn’t grow up here, did you?”

Tommy watched the sneakers go flying down the hall, a laugh in his eyes, but he didn’t comment. “God, no,” he answered. “Dad downsized a couple years ago.” He paused, flicking a brief look around the room, before adding, “He decorated the place himself.”

Gordon followed Tommy’s gaze. It looked like a house, at a glance. There were throw pillows on the leather couch and an artificial plant rested tastefully on the coffee table. Picture frames and various ornaments adorned the mantle, functionally useless objects stuffed between photos of the Coolatta family through the years. His eyes caught a decorative globe, some pillar candles, and a geometric silver figurine before landing on a sunny portrait of a smiling child - Tommy, he guessed. A wall hanging of colorful overlapping rectangles covered the space next to the south window.

All at once, Gordon felt he was in a place that was trying very hard to be a house, without quite knowing what a house’s qualifying factors were. Aside from the photos, the only clue to the owner’s tastes was the record player against the far wall, crackling out music from a time period Gordon didn’t recognize. Something with a strange time signature and a dreamlike melody. It was possible the song was from an era that had not yet happened.

He looked back to Tommy and found him studying his face. “It’s nice,” he offered summarily.

Tommy laughed quietly through his nose. “I think he just went to the home decor section of Target and picked out some stuff he liked,” he said.

“Oh,” Gordon replied. “Y’know, now that you say it - yeah. Yeah, I can see that.” 

Tommy didn’t exactly look uncomfortable with Gordon’s presence in his father’s house, but he didn’t seem wholly relaxed either. The set of his shoulders betrayed him, as did his hands, which fidgeted at the seams of his pockets before extending to take the bread from him.

“Here, let me - we can put this in the kitchen,” he said, gesturing behind him. 

It was possible that etiquette slipped his mind as frequently as it did Gordon’s, and that made him feel a little better about the whole thing. He should have assumed as much - he and Tommy both used the skeleton of routine to prop themselves up, despite the fact that they found social rules tiresome at best. A necessary framework for people like them. Gordon allowed Tommy to take the package from his arms and followed him down the hall. 

The kitchen was a little more homey, if only for the healthy clutter of appliances on the counter. Two boxes from Dion’s Pizza sat on the island, and seeing them pulled an audible sigh of relief from Gordon.

Tommy noticed. “Yeah, we’re not - we don’t cook a lot around here,” he admitted, sliding the package of garlic bread next to the pizza.

“That makes me feel better about bringing over store bought bread,” Gordon chuckled. “Where’s uh,” he darted a glance around the room, as if the man in question would materialize if he mentioned him aloud. “Where’s your dad at, anyway?”

“Oh, he’s...” Tommy finished his sentence with a vague wave of his hand. “He’ll show up sooner or later.”

He didn’t seem concerned, as if his father disappearing to another time and place arbitrarily was something that happened a lot. It made sense - Tommy was self-sufficient to the point of being an outright loner - and Gordon guessed that Mr. Coolatta’s inhuman qualities probably didn’t lend to a very warm upbringing.

Tommy was watching him, observant as always. “He’s not really a bad person,” he said at length. “He just… he sees things differently.”

“Shit, man,” Gordon laughed and shook his head. “Sometimes I think you can read my mind.”

“Oh, I never told you?” Tommy responded, raising his eyebrows impishly. 

He didn’t seem to want to discuss his father any further, so Gordon laughed at Tommy’s joke and didn’t press it. They fell into a comfortable discussion, standing together in the kitchen and waiting on the third member of their little party. This part Gordon knew how to do - speaking with Tommy always felt like coming home, and while they were still learning things about each other, he never felt any pressure to behave in a way that wasn’t his whole, genuine self. He saw the slope of Tommy’s shoulders slowly relaxing while they talked, and felt himself mirroring him as the minutes ticked by.

Tommy’s father materialized in the time it took for Gordon to blink, one moment absent and the next present. Spooked, Gordon jumped slightly at his appearance, while Tommy uttered an unaffected and congenial, “hey, Dad.”

Mister Coolatta stood under the kitchen lights exactly how Gordon remembered him. His suit was as smooth and clean as his hair,  and he wondered if the man even thought about wearing anything else, much less owned a varied wardrobe. Tommy’s father was, in many ways, like Tommy himself. Tall and neat and watchful. Seeing them side by side, it was easier to envision them as family, and Gordon no longer wondered where Tommy picked up his carefully neutral expression from.

The man in the suit fixed his cool gaze on Gordon. “Mister Freeman,” he said. “It is, hm, good to see you again.”

Gordon extended a hand before he could lose his nerve. This was what people did. And while Tommy’s father may not necessarily be a person, that was no reason for Gordon to deny him the courtesy of a handshake.

“You too, sir,” he answered. “Happy to be here.”

Tommy’s father paused for a moment, studying Gordon’s outstretched hand with interest. “I trust the hand hasn’t been giving you trouble since your little incident?”

“Uh,” Gordon faltered only for a moment. “No. It’s been just fine.”

“Dad,” Tommy intoned quietly, passing a glance between his father and Gordon.

This spurred the man in the suit to recall etiquette, himself, and then Gordon was shaking hands with a god.

It was surprisingly normal, all things considered. His grip wasn’t quite as solid as Gordon expected, though that was less a testament to his grip strength than it was to his short-of-corporeal nature. His skin felt like something that was pretending to be skin, and it was the same temperature as the air around them. But he nodded and looked Gordon in the eye like any other man, so he guessed he’d had worse handshakes before in his life. 

Mr. Coolatta released him and angled his head to his son. “Forgive me for my lateness, I… had to take care of some things on the ah, ‘out-side,’ as it were.”

“It’s fine, Dad,”  Tommy answered, then added, “I picked up the pizza.”

His father’s eyes lit on the boxes, seemingly for the first time. “Dion’s,” he observed. “Excellent choice.”

After a short, awkward silence, Gordon blurted, “should we eat?” and Tommy sighed a grateful “yes,” before nudging his father toward the dining room.

As Gordon took a step to gather the pizzas into his arms, he felt Tommy skate his fingers delicately across the inside of his palm. 

“Thank you,” he murmured in his ear, quiet and just for him.

Gordon wasn’t sure what exactly Tommy was thanking him for, but he caught his hand before he could withdraw and gave a reassuring squeeze. He was warm and solid and alive, and it anchored him.

“We got this,” he told Tommy, smiling.

The dining room was another testament to Mr. Coolatta’s decorating tastes. Gordon was not quite successful in withholding a chuckle when he noticed a Live, Laugh, Love sign on the wall, and this earned him a gentle elbow in the ribs from his partner. Tommy was carrying a set of plates and silverware in one hand and some napkins in another.

When Gordon offered to help set the table, Tommy only shook his head mischievously, and the cutlery leapt from his hands on their own.

Right. He was dating a demigod. This was a detail Gordon often forgot about, if only for the fact that Tommy displayed his power in subtle, quiet ways that went unnoticed. Here, however, he had no such reservations.

This was a Tommy Gordon hadn’t gotten to see yet, and he caught himself staring as he set the table without even touching a plate. He handled himself with an ease he didn’t show out in public, manipulating space with a well-practiced comfort that indicated years of doing it this way. A Coolatta ritual, for Coolattas only. Gordon, an outsider, felt his nervousness slowly melt into gratitude at being invited to the table. He understood now - Tommy didn’t want Gordon here just to smooth things over with his father. He wanted to share his life with him, every jigsawed piece of it. 

Conversation was easier than anticipated. Tommy led the discussion at first, updating his father on his new job at the VLA in Socorro. Working with radios in the quiet desert, listening to the stars, seemed to suit him, and the fondness with which he recalled his nighttime shifts alone was genuine. Gordon tucked into his slice of 505 (pepperoni and green chile) and watched Mr. Coolatta’s facial expression as he absorbed the information.

The man sat perfectly still except to give acknowledging nods here and there, and his pizza remained untouched on his plate. At least, that was Gordon’s first assumption, until he realized the slice was gradually disappearing bite by bite every time he looked away. Mr. Coolatta’s face was impassive as always when Gordon gave him a questioning look, and when Tommy didn’t acknowledge the mystical pizza disappearance, he chose not to say anything about it.

“Mister Freeman,” the man in the suit said after a time, turning his swirling gaze on his guest. “It is my under-standing that you… have a new profession, as well?”

Gordon, figuring he’d picked up the “Mister Freeman” thing  from Tommy, didn’t bother to correct him. “Yeah, I’m teaching physics at NMT,” he answered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy an academic environment all that much, choosing to teach as a backup while he pursued streaming in the meantime, but he was developing a fondness for it. His students were bright individuals, and some of them were just as weird as he was, which kept his days interesting.

Gordon wasn’t one to discuss his new job at length with anyone. It felt strange, after everything he lived through, to complain about something as trivial as grading papers or writing coursework. But Mr. Coolatta was among a handful of individuals who knew exactly what happened to him during his employment at Black Mesa, so he felt what he said next was entirely understood by everyone at the table.

“It’s a nice change of pace,” he added. “Things are better.”

“Yes,” Tommy’s father answered. “I have… heard the same from Tommy. It is, good to know that the two of you are, hm, recovering well.”

His tone was one step away from apologetic, and Gordon was sure he imagined it, but he was touched by the sentiment nonetheless. Tommy smiled softly down at his plate and didn’t say anything. They were recovering well, weren’t they? Finding a place for themselves. Learning how to be human again.

Gordon wasn’t sure, at first, if it would ever be possible. The Resonance Cascade was the worst thing that ever happened to him, but… Tommy was the best thing that ever happened to him. And even with all the complicated emotions that surrounded the Coolatta family, he was happy to be here. He was happy to see that small, private smile cross Tommy’s face. 

The evening concluded with Gordon and Mr. Coolatta getting into a discussion about whether a hotdog was actually a sandwich, with Tommy joining in as moderator and rewarding imaginary points as they each went over their arguments. They wiped out the pizzas handily between the three of them. When Gordon had to excuse himself to begin the drive back to Socorro, Mr. Coolatta initiated another handshake with him. It was only a little less weird the second time. 

“I’ll walk you out to your car,” Tommy offered.

The setting sun bled a soft orange onto the neighborhood as the two of them left the house. Tommy kept his hands in his pockets, just barely brushing shoulders with Gordon as they went.

“Thank you,” he said again.

“Yeah, thanks for inviting me,” Gordon responded. “It was nice.”

They pulled to a stop next to the station wagon. “Sorry Dad’s so…” Tommy trailed off and shrugged. “Like that,” he finished.

His eyes were down, studying the sidewalk as he scuffed the sole of his shoe on the concrete. His expression was drawn, but Gordon could see from the crinkle of his eyes that he was happy with how the night turned out. 

“Hey,” Gordon said.

Tommy’s eyes flicked up to meet his. His gaze was sharp and watchful, cutting Gordon in a way he found he liked.

“Don’t feel like you need to apologize for your dad,” Gordon said. “He’s cool. And I’m… Like, I’m glad you wanted me there. I had a good time,” he rambled further, “and it’s - I haven’t been to dinner with someone in a long time, and it was just - like it was really nice to just talk about stuff with family like that.”

Tommy’s mouth split into a smile, face flushing slightly as Gordon said the word ‘family.’ “Yeah,” he agreed. “It was nice. This is - we should do this again.”

The fact that there would be a next time sent a rush of emotion into Gordon’s chest. He loved Tommy, loved how trusting he was to invite him to such a private part of his life. Certainly this was difficult for him to do, but he allowed Gordon Freeman, of all people, to cross the threshold and see inside. He was close enough to be considered family. Sheer affection made him dizzy.

Tommy’s smile was infectious, causing Gordon to grin outright. “I’ll see you back home later?” he asked.

“Mm hm,” Tommy nodded. He leaned in, but stopped short when Gordon held up a hand in protest.

“Uh,” he intoned, pointing. “Your dad is totally watching us from the window.”

Tommy glanced over his shoulder and caught the dark visage of his father beyond the glass. He rolled his eyes, still smiling, and gestured with a hand. The curtains snapped shut at his command. “No, he isn’t,” he said.

They kissed on the curb, Gordon laughing softly into Tommy’s mouth. He was home already.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Do you think BigHit pays attention to how much things to show to be able to "please" each ship, esp the maknae ships? For example, If a run ep/any content showed a little bit more of vmin, it will somehow highlight jikook or taekook next. For sure, the boys are not faking their interactions, but do u think BigHit consciously monitor these interactions and edit it in a way that can avoid violent reactions from diff ship groups? Sorry I cannot word this ask well. 😕 I'd love to hear ur thoughts.

Thank you so much for the amazing question! And your wording was really good and clear so don’t worry about that.

I think the first major thing we need to remember is that BH is a company, and a company’s main purpose, above all else, is to generate revenue. Which isn’t a bad thing in this case seeing as, depending on how much BH makes, so do the members since their contracts, compared to others in the same industry, have some great percentages in their favor.

With that in mind, the answer to your question is a very simple and straight forward yes. BH monitors and plans things accordingly to please (paying) costumers, in the context of this answer, shippers. Fan service and showing certain interactions in certain ways are a great marketing tool that every idol agency uses for decades now, it isn’t anything new or revolutionary in any shape or form, though it’s clear that the type of fan service the BTS members do nowadays has changed in comparison to earlier years, like Jimin being required to perform shirtless at an award show.

In the context of this answer when using “ship”, I simply mean two members interacting with each other and are liked together by a certain community of people, and not actual pairs that have (in my opinion) chances or signs of being real (in a romantic sense) at all, except for vmin and namjin, since those are the only two we see as fulfilling that criteria of romantic potential and are the only two we focus on on this account. But that at large is a post/discussion for another time.

When it comes to showing different interactions between ships, or even really any kind of duo or trio in the group, editing and what does and doesn’t get shown certainly plays a role and follows some kind of idea as well. A good example of that would be how following the release of Dynamite there was a bigger “focus” on J*k*ok, seeing as they had their own moment together in the choreography and we were shown more of their interactions/”moments” in content around that time. But, while that satisfied one major ship and its devotees, it didn’t satisfy another, so it needed to be balanced out. Which is exactly what BH did.

More below the cut since this got a little long:

If you look at the Break the Silence: Persona movie commentary done by the members, the maknaes sit together in the middle of the sofa (and the screen) with JK between vmin, meaning that both major ships could pay attention to their two members and be “pleased” at the same time by any and all interactions or “moments”. A counter argument to moments involving all three of them working in a positive manner would be the Dynamite performance at Jimmy Fallon (x) that ended with the members skating around on roller-skates where at one point the maknaes were together, JK holding Tae’s wrist while Jimin had his hands on Tae’s hips (?). It was a cute and funny moment of them just helping Tae since he can’t skate, but it caused a plethora of negative/awful reactions among those who ship one and the other “main” maknae ship with, in both cases, either Jimin or Tae being on the receiving end of awful accusations, insults, and alike. Then again, to balance out J*k*ok Dynamite content, we can look at the BE-hind Story video where JK and Tae sat together and were seen interacting more, while Jimin interacted more with Yoongi, where Yo*nm*n is also a rather popular ship.

Perhaps it sounds mean or calculated or like I’m badmouthing other ships as just “tools”, but the thing we have to keep in mind is that every piece of content is planned in a certain manner (BTS are seven people after all so you can’t just tell them to do something and hope it’ll just magically work out somehow), is filmed by a giant crew of staff from stylists to PDs and lighting crews, and while there are certainly also genuine interactions between the members, simply because they enjoy spending together and interacting, being close and have no issue touching each other etc, many of these things are not really anything that would really count as “intimate” moments due to the nature of the content itself. But shippers oftentimes ignore that in favor of enjoying whatever content of their ship they are given, which makes sense, as vminnies and namjinists we do too, but we also know that BH certainly has a hand in what is and isn’t shown, and the way in which it is shown.

Look at the trailer for Memories of 2019 and the famous J*k*ok moment that was front and center. From a marketing standpoint it was a genius move since it made sure that shippers would go and buy the DVD regardless of its price. Look at what we’ve gotten for Winter Package 2021 so far, J*k*ok being playful in the trailer, T*ek*ok squished together in the picture on IG, and J*k*ok next to each other, along with Seokjin, in the preview pictures on Weverse. Of course, there was also a picture of Yoongi and Hoseok together (a popular ship) as well as Namjoon with Yoongi and Namjoon with Tae (far less popular), but those three aren’t really selling arguments the way the major maknae ships are. Even vmin isn’t, seeing as the vmin community is much, much smaller than the other two maknae ships, and also vmin moments are often times written off as ‘friends’ interacting anyway and thus not taken seriously (or being paid attention to), if you know what I mean.

(Admin 1: I, for one, would really love to own the 5th Muster DVD because I love the concert itself but also because the famous vmin dancing together to Spring Day sequence is immortalized in picture form in the photobook, so I’m not innocent or “different” in any way since I fall for this marketing stuff just as much as everyone else.)

But on the other hand, there’s also content that isn’t as controlled by BH as pre-recorded and edited videos or DVD’s, as in their vlives or live content, like the BE/LGO release day vlive in pajamas where, sure, the members were given a general plan of what they’ll be doing and a timeframe for it, but certain things seemed more spur-of-the-moment and unplanned, like the vmin lipstick moment (Tae putting on the lipstick was planned, but the final executions likely wasn’t) and the way the other members reacted to it. Or things they do at concerts, which some of it is surely also rehearsed and planned, we saw Hoseok ask JK if he’d do a heart with him at some point during one of the concerts, as example, or Tae and Seokjin planning their typical moment that happened at every concert, but other ones are more in the moment and not controlled.

When it comes to concert DVDs, that is again a different story seeing as a camera can only show as much at a time, so the editors are presented all the footage from the concert and then decide which to show and which not. So, if we see an interaction between JK and Hoseok, for example, at the same time somewhere else Namjoon might be dancing with Seokjin or vmin could be doing something, but we’d simply never know since they can’t show us everything.

That, in a way, is also the case with actual concerts where there’s a difference, somewhat, between concerts that get filmed for DVDs or streamed online, and those that are not. Something that comes to mind would be a vmin moment during Best of Me in Busan on the day that didn’t get filmed where they skipped the first half of the choreography and vmin stood together, half of that sequence being just visible in the background while JK is the primary focus of the cameras that are shown on the side screens, and this whole thing only happened this one time and never again. (x) That’s a moment that, in my opinion, isn’t planned, or other similar moments where vmin change the choreographies (even if just a little) to do something together, like during Spring Day during WINGS Tour Final where Jimin adjusted his solo moment so that he ended up in front of Tae. (x)

There’s also this whole mythos I’ve heard/read about a lot about how supposedly at some of the not filmed Japanese concerts (where I’m not sure if people mean LY:SY or just LY) had some crazy moments between the members (in the sense of “ship” moments and alike) BUT I couldn’t find any proof of that, so if someone perhaps knows anything about this, let me know.

Finally, there’s also things like Bon Voyage and In the SOOP which, you’d expect that they would be less edited and less controlled, but even here a selection takes place of which scenes are shown and which are not. Something I find interesting is how the first half of In the SOOP feels very different to how the second half does when they return to the house after being gone for a few days. In the first half vmin (as well as namjin) seemed to “satellite” around each other and interact much more, playing ping pong or doing things together in some shape or form, but in the second half that was (nearly) completely gone and neither interacted much with each other, if at all. We even had Jimin who outright refused to join Tae and Hoseok on their car adventure, or we saw Seokjin wake up Namjoon to go jogging yet never got to see said jogging happening (if it did happen, that is).

So, to sum all of this up: Yes, BH definitely monitors and guides the way certain things are and aren’t shown in order to achieve certain things or avoid certain reactions, though it’s a complex balancing act and doesn’t always work out. There are things that are unplanned and not controlled, of course, but there’s also a fair amount of marketing play involved. 

After all BTS aren’t rookies anymore, instead they are giant household names and their actions and words move people, move money, and on top of that they are still idols, and part of what it means to be an idol is differentiating between your idol appearance/persona (so what we see in screen) and your personal private life, which is usually kept as secret as only possible. How much they themselves choose to share of their real selves and real feelings toward each other is up to them (as well as up to BH and how much they “allow” them to/don’t edit out). But that, too, is a whole other discussion for another time.

[cherrycocaineee]

4. Park Jimin - Cafe Date

    Sandalwood and bonfire candles burned throughout the house drifted through the open door blanketing my nose while I was hanging up some fake spider webs. Marshall was carrying the bundle of webs in his arms while I weaved them in the corners. Mom came out with a tray with two glasses filled with eggnog; a large smile appeared on her face when she saw how much we’ve done in a short period of time.

  “This is beautiful. You kids did such a great job!” She praised.

 “Mom,” Marshall said, “we aren’t kids. I’m literally twenty-two, and Brielle is nineteen.”

  “You’ll always be kids to me.”

Marshall and I put the decorations down to enjoy the nice, sweet, holiday drink that our mom had brought out to us. While I took small sips, Marshall gulped it down in a single swift motion.

  A black Porsche pulled into our driveway, coming to a complete stop inches from our garage door. The windows were tinted, so none of us could see whoever was inside the vehicle, until the door opened and climbed out of they’re seat.

Jimin’s blonde hair and black roots appeared as he lifted himself out of his car, a happy smile on his handsome face.

  “안녕 자기!” (Hi, sweetheart!)

 Excitement ran through my body as I saw and heard my boyfriend, and nearly lunged myself off the porch while running into his open arms. Jimin and I began dating when I was eighteen years old, and it was great but difficult since he was constantly touring and because he lived in South Korea.

  The two of us hugged each other tightly.

 “지민, 한 달 더 있을 줄 몰랐어.” (Jimin, I wasn’t expecting you for a month.)

Neither one of us was great at speaking the opposite language that the other spoke but we still tried. If that didn’t show we loved each other, then I didn’t know what did.

  We pulled away from each other and he pressed a gentle kiss against my temple. Marshall and my mom came off the porch and greeted Jimin. My family enjoyed having my boyfriend around and they treated him like family because of that. From where we stood, I could still smell the candles burning in the house, surprisingly.

  “Jimin, would you like to come in for some eggnog?” Mom asked, her voice sweet and angelic.

 A look of confusion swept against his face before he understood completely what my mom was asking him.

  “Ah ~ no, thank you. I wanted to take Brie out for some, uh,” he made a drinking motion with his hand, “some coffee.”

Of course I was going, but I had to finish putting up the Halloween decorations for my mom. Jimin even offered to help. So for the next forty-five minutes, Jimin and I put the rest of the cobwebs up and even added some yard decorations including skeletons, tombstones, a scary pumpkin, and more webs in the trees along with fake, realistic bats and spiders.

   Taking a step back to view our work, Jimin and I smiled in accomplishment. He turned to me and grabbed my small hand. I tightened my grip. After mom admired our work, Jimin led me to his car, opened the passenger's side, and held my hand as I stepped inside the vehicle. Once he was in the car, he started the ignition, and pulled out of the driveway heading towards a coffee shop a block from my mom’s home.

As Jimin was driving, I looked out the window watching the shopkeepers putting up their simple decorations like jelly stickers and hanging ghosts. Jimin parked the car next to the coffee shop and we scooted out. On the two large windows, there were assortments of those jelly stickers that everyone else had in town. Some were pumpkins, ghosts, bats, black cats, spiders, and more spooky, Halloween characters. Jimin opened the door, the small ring of the bell echoing off the shop’s walls, and gestured me inside.

   Pumpkin spice and freshly grounded coffee pierced our noses as we entered and I inhaled deeply. I loved coffee, I loved the smell of coffee, and I especially loved the aroma during the fall. During this cool season, the smell was more intense and the warmth of it was like a blanket for my nose only. The taste was just as euphoric.

Both of us walked up to the counter, listening to the sound of talkative customers sitting at tables, and looked at the menu. I didn’t really need to look, I always got the same thing every time I came here but Jimin did. I helped him with some of the words he didn’t understand and in the end, we ordered. Jimin got an iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel syrup, and I got a pumpkin spice latte. After the barista handed our drinks, we swiped a booth near the window so there was a nice view of the multicolored leaves falling to the concrete as the wind shook them off their branches.

   I sat across from Jimin, against the window. Jimin smiled at me.

  “How have you been?” He asked, his English better than when we first met, he’d definitely been practicing.

  “I’ve been good,” I said, taking a small sip of my pumpkin coffee, “really good actually. How have you been?”

  “Really tired, but good. I have been practicing my English more since we have been coming to America more often.”

  “I can tell, you’re getting much better.”

Jimin and I took a drink of our beverages before resuming conversation.

  “How are you doing with learning Korean?” He questioned, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the cool liquid.

I frowned and sighed, “it’s much harder than it looks, if I’m being honest.”

   I reached into my bag, which I had grabbed as we were leaving my mom’s, and pulled out a notebook that I took everywhere with me. Inside the Five Star spiral notebook were all of my Korean lessons. I opened the notebook and laid it out in front of us. Jimin leaned forward.

  “I get really confused on how to pronounce each character,” I muttered.

  “It is okay,” Jimin chirped, “I will help you since I am here.”

We spent some time on the lesson and Jimin taught me how to pronounce a lot in a twenty-five minute time span, but now the two of us were distracted by laughing at stupid things because I had mispronounced one of the characters.

    My laughter died down as my phone buzzed. Jimin leaned back and rested his arm over the back of the seat while sipping on his coffee. I picked my phone up and glanced at it. The name of my group chat popped up on the front screen and I saw that one of my friends was asking about the assignment due for Mr. Michael’s class. I chose not to answer it right now.

  “Important?” Jimin questioned.

 “Just a group chat for school,” I informed, “jealous?”

 He laughed out and it was the most captivating noise I’ve ever heard. Jimin shook his head.

  “Absolutely not,” he giggled some more, “I love and trust you.”

I covered my mouth as a small laugh escaped my own mouth.

   “How is school?” He asked.

  “It’s going great,” I said, “straight A’s. How’s touring?”

   “Oh it is amazing. I love being able to meet Army and be on several talk shows with funny people.”

  I smiled wide, “who’s your favorite talk show host?”

  “Jimmy Fallon and James Cordon. They are my favorite.”

I loved watching the interviews with Jimin and his group members, they always seemed to have so much fun with it. The idea of him traveling all through America and other countries meeting new people and performing new songs for their fans. I loved traveling, so I hoped some day that I would get to travel too, either with Jimin or alone.

   Jimin leaned forward again.

 “I was thinking maybe you can come visit South Korea on your vacation,” he said, “I will pay for the ticket.”

  My brown orbs widened at his words. I was shocked by his invitation because I never thought he would ask me to come visit him in Korea. But what shocked me the most was what he said next.

  “I want you to meet my mom and dad. I already told them about you, they are wanting to meet you too.”

  “Oh Jimin,” I whispered, a few tears escaping my eyes and sliding down my cheek, thanking myself for not wearing any makeup today.

  He grabbed my hand, “사랑해, 브리.” (I love you, Brie.)

  “사랑해요, 지민.” (I love you, Jimin.)

After we finished drinking our coffee, I ordered another to go and we left. Jimin didn’t have to worry about fans seeing him here because the town was so small, so Jimin wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked to the car. It was a subtle romantic gesture, and I loved it.

   Jimin, once again, opened the passenger’s side and helped me in. I thanked him and he leaned down, kissing me on the forehead. On the drive home, Jimin rested his hand on my thigh and we jammed out to crappy music playing on the radio at that time.

Marshall was sitting outside with his friend, Jackson, when Jimin pulled into the driveway. I looked over at Jimin.

  “Do you have somewhere to be, or do you want to come in and watch a movie?”

He took a quick glance at his phone before answering, “I have time. Come on, we can watch a romantic movie.”

  Jimin was always a big flirt, even when I first met him. It was one of the qualities that I loved the most about him. The two of us kissed. His hand touched the side face with his large hand, deepening the kiss and making my heart flutter. When he pulled away, I bit my bottom lip.

  “Come on,” he said, his voice was husky from the kiss, “let’s go inside.”

Nodding, I followed my boyfriend inside the house. My brother and his friend waved at us as we passed. However, we didn’t stop for long to chat, I knew Jimin would be leaving soon and I knew I would be able to see him for months, so I wanted to spend as much time with him alone.

   We decided on an action movie, and cuddled into my bed, entangled into each other’s arms. I looked up at Jimin and felt love and admiration for this man. He was honestly the most amazing man I ever knew. He looked down at me, pressed a single peck on my forehead, and nuzzled closer to me. The sound of his heartbeat thumping against his chest mixed with the sound of the movie playing. I felt at ease and relaxed against him. Everything was perfect.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Blue Eyes Part 28

Summary: After the Garrison is shot up, the youngest Shelby daughter finds a new home in London. She strips herself of her last name and tries to live a peaceful life far away from her brothers’ chaos in Birmingham. But fate leads her right back into it after she runs into Alfie Solomons.

Part 26: Mosley’s plan is unveiled and Tommy warns Ella and Alfie. 

         Ella wasn’t sure how long she waited, curled up on the grass. But she sat up eventually to decipher what was going on. She saw a figure approaching her, framed by the headlights.

        “C’mon. We need you inside.” Tommy spoke steadily but urgently. He helped his sister up.

        She was shaking and pressing a hand to her stomach, right over where her scar lingered. “What happened?”

        “Pol shot Linda.” He answered and walked her inside.

        Luckily, Linda was out cold by the time Ella came inside. “Can’t we just have one night without this shit?” She muttered under her breath. Standing in the doorway of the dining room, she watched Arthur sit beside his wife. He was shaking and almost in tears.

        “Apparently not,” Tommy replied with a weary sigh.      

        “Did I hear a gunshot or is Swan Lake a bit more entertaining than I assumed?” Alfie came storming into Arrow House.

        “It’s alright, it’s taken care of.” Ella touched his arm.

        “Yeah, well, your guest of honor’s decided to take the stage, mate.” He told Tommy.

        “Is he talking about the new party?” Tommy lit a cigarette.

        “Fuck if I know, I didn’t want to listen to him.” Alfie crossed his arms over his chest. “He’s talking like some…fucking dictator or something. It really puts a damper on the party, but everyone else seems to agree with him.”

        “I’m going to go back out.”

        “I think Alfie and I are going to head home early.” Ella linked arms with her husband. “I’ve had enough of this.”

        “El, it’s late. We said we’d stay at least until tomorrow morning.”

        She frowned. “You want to stay?” She asked in disbelief. It had been like pulling teeth trying to get him to go to the party in the first place.

        “Alfie and I have business to discuss later,” Tommy explained.

        The night’s events were starting to wear on Ella. How foolish it was to think they could have a fun, festive night for Lizzie’s birthday. “That’s fantastic, I don’t care. You can discuss business during business hours. Because that’s how business works. It’s not about sneaking around in the shadows, always looking over your shoulder to see if anyone’s fucking listening or not.”

        Alfie looked tired but resolved. There was no need to argue but he did need to speak to Tommy. “You can head to bed, Ella, that’s okay.”

        “What are you going to talk about?” She inquired. “Can I sit in on your little chat?” Tommy and Alfie shared a look of discomfort and it was enough to set Ella off. “So, you’re both keeping secrets from me now? Of all the times, Alfie.”

        “Love, it’s…” He groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

        “Well, I’m worried now!” She threw her hands up. “I’m done with this. You two have your conversations, I don’t care anymore.” She stalked off to find one of Tommy’s booze stashes.

~~~~~~~~

              Tucked away in the big room, Ella pulled out a bottle of Irish Whiskey. Forgoing the glass, she drank straight from the crystal bottle. The number of people she was angry with had doubled in one night. It must’ve been a record. She didn’t appreciate her husband keeping secrets from her. Tommy, she could understand. He’d done it before and it was silly to think he wouldn’t do it again. But Alfie? It was like a kick in the gut. How many times had she told him he was the only person she trusted? The very last person left in the world that she relied on and trusted with her heart.

        Stewing at her brother’s desk, she did not want to be interrupted. But nothing about the night was going as planned.

        The door opened and Mosley entered as if he owned the place. Ella’s eyes narrowed but she didn’t say anything as he walked in and glanced at the bottles of liquor near the door. “You Shelbys throw quite the party.” He looked around, taking in the sights as if everything was amusing to him.

        “I don’t recall welcoming you in.” She replied venomously. “This is my family’s house after all, not yours.”

        “You hold a great deal of malice for me, Miss Shelby.” Mosley sat down across the desk from her, completely ignoring her jab.

        “I’ve told you many times, it’s Mrs. Solomons. You can address by my married name or don’t address me at all.”  

        “Ah, yes your husband. Interesting man, isn’t he?” Mosley folded his hands over his lap.

        Before he could continue, Ella interrupted him. She knew the games men like him played. He wanted to work her up, make her so angry that she’d let something slip. But she wasn’t about to let that happen. “My husband is my world. I would put my life on the line for him without hesitating for a second.” No matter how much it nauseated her, she kept her eyes on Mosley to make sure he took her seriously. “You will not bring harm to anyone in my family. I’ll make sure, don’t you worry yourself with how I do it. But if you ever so much as give my husband a fucking dirty look, I’ll have you rotting out in the middle of nowhere, your body riddled with fucking bullets. See that’s the thing about us gypsies, Mr. Mosley, we know the best places to bury a body. Somewhere it’ll never be found. We can throw elegant parties and play the part, but there are some things you can’t take out of us.”

        The threat only seemed to amuse the man. “Do you think your husband would do the same for you? Lay his life down on the line?”

        “Without a question.” Ella folded her arms over her chest. There was no doubt what Alfie would do for her.

        “He’s loyal? Faithful?”

        “Yes.”

        Mosley pretended to be intrigued. “Then why would I have some intelligence of a young woman seen entering and leaving your husband’s place of business? At all hours may I add?” He studied her face, waiting for the reaction of disbelief or betrayal.

        Instead, Ella just laughed. “Yes, Miss Davis. Is she on your payroll or are you simply using her?”

        If Mosley was alarmed, he didn’t show it. “I don’t follow.”

        “You can play dumb all you fucking want. But maybe next time you make sure your employee doesn’t carry around your card. Or it might end up in the wrong hands. You fucking keep her away from my husband or there’ll be hell to pay.” Ella stood up, done with the conversation. “I have no issue of doing away with her. I won’t lose sleep over it.”

        “How do you know he’s being faithful to you, then?” He tried again even if his initial plan had apparently been foiled by a misplaced business card.

        “Because my husband doesn’t enjoy the company of many people. There are a select few he loves deeply. Fortunately, I’m one of those people. I trust him more than I’ll ever trust anyone ever again. But I appreciate your attempt to drive a wedge between us. I wonder what Tommy will think of that.” She went to leave.

        Mosley stood up suddenly and grabbed Ella’s wrist. He pulled her close. Anger began to seep through his expression for the first time that night. His true colors began to show. “I would urge you to reconsider your alliances.”

        “Put your fucking hands on me again and I’ll have my husband remove them.” She spat and ripped her arm away from him. On her way out of the big room, she ran into her brother.

        Tommy looked confused. “El…”

        “Don’t you dare fucking speak to me.” She replied harshly and pushed past him.

        “Your sister has quite the mouth, Mr. Shelby. Not very becoming of a lady.” Mosley regained his composure and sat down again.

        “I don’t think she considers herself a lady,” Tommy replied and went to pour them both drinks. He looked for the Irish whiskey and was puzzled to find it already on his desk, the top opened. “Just a woman. She’s never one for social standing. I think she’s content with what she has now.”

        “And are you content with that? Your family is an extension of yourself, after all. If you have unruly family members, your reputation is severely threatened.”

        “She likes to stay out of the family business so that wouldn’t be an issue for me. She’s not a face of the company.”

        “That doesn’t matter in the public arena. It’s best to squash a problem before it becomes too much to handle. Now, what I propose, and I suggest you take this advice, you would have her married off to someone of significant standing. It would boost your appeal and perhaps tame her at the same time.”

        Tommy’s brow furrowed. “She’s married.”

        “Ah, yes, the Jew.” Mosley swirled the whiskey around in the crystal tumbler. “Well, after you’ve heard me speak, I think it should be common knowledge that you won’t be able to have a Jew as your lawyer let alone your brother-in-law.”

        Tommy’s blood went cold. He paused for a moment before speaking. “It sounds like you want me to break up my sister and Alfie.”

        “I’ve already attempted to do so. But your sister proves to be more stubborn than I anticipated. It was foolish of me if she’s anything like you then she’s as stubborn as a mule.”

        He swallowed and his eyes went to the door that his sister had just left. Tommy was sure that if she heard any of this conversation, she would have a go at the both of them. Guns would probably be drawn. “She would never leave him and vice versa. I’m not sure what else you would suggest.” Play the part, he had to play the part. Any slip would give his intentions away.

        “Get rid of him or I’ll do it for you,” Mosley replied coolly. As if murder was no skin off his back. “I know you have a reputation for making people disappear. He could prove a challenge but I trust your expertise.” Then, like it was just a bullet point on his business list or things to do, he transitioned. “Also, our friend Jimmy McCavern has asked for control of the racetracks north of Wincanton.”

        Tommy was in too much of a daze to really process what Mosley was saying. He simply nodded.

        “And Shelby, drink less.” Mosley left his whiskey on the desk and took his leave.

        Bothered by everything that happened that night, Tommy reached over and took a long drink of the whiskey that Ella had left out.  

~~~~~~~~~~~

        “The nerve of that man. And the fact that Tommy’s even listening to him! That he’s fucking entertaining him!”

        Alfie was tired of not only the night but the whole affair. He almost wished that he’d gone home earlier when Ella requested. “I don’t have any answers, love, I’m sorry.”

        “The fact that he was trying to frame you. For cheating?” She scoffed. “Honestly!”

        “C’mere,” He was proud that Ella trusted him. The thought of being unfaithful never crossed his mind even at their lowest point in the relationship. It was laughable, in fact.

        Pouting, Ella walked over to him sitting on the bed. “I don’t want to deal with this anymore.”

        “We don’t have to.” Alfie rested his hands on her hips. “I’ll talk to Tommy.”

        Ella touched her forehead to his, her eyes closing. She felt like she needed to scrub away Mosley. Scrub away the looks he gave her and the way he grabbed her wrist. It made her feel grimy and unclean. “Alfie…”

        “Yes, love?”

        She shook her head. What was there to say? The world was crumbling to bits. She didn’t know which way was up anymore. The only constant was him. All she could do was draw his lips to hers and sink into a kiss. After everything, at least that was comforting and normal.

        But it wasn’t long before there was a sharp knock at the door. Alfie drew away even though Ella tried to get him to ignore it.

        “It’s probably your brother.” He explained and picked her up to set her on the bed beside him so he could stand up.

        Ella crossed her arms over her chest, not in the mood to speak with Tommy at least for another week if she was lucky. But she wasn’t.

        “Tommy, you’ve got more to talk about?” Alfie asked.

        “Can I come in?”

        “No.” Ella asserted from the bed.

        “I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.” He replied.

        Alfie stood back, letting the man into the room. “What is it?”

        “I’ve just spoken to Mosley.” Tommy shut the door behind him, worried that the man could have ears anywhere even in his own goddamn house. It was wise not to take chances.

        “That’s not news,” Ella muttered.

        “The fascists have a very strong belief when it comes to…”

        “Jews.” Alfie nodded gruffly. “I’m well aware.”

        Ella’s eyes widened. “What the fuck are you talking about?” She knew Mosley had questioned her husband’s faith before but she thought it was because he was a special breed of asshole. She didn’t think the entire emerging party felt the same way.

        “Should’ve heard him out in the tent, love,” Alfie said sarcastically. “Talks about putting the blame for everything on us Jewish rats. Innit that right, Tommy?”

        Ella looked incredulous. “Thomas!” She snapped loudly.

        Tommy looked at his wits end. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m going to handle it.” He told her. “The message dies with him. It dies with him, okay?”

        “Well, we’re all waiting for your big plan! You know the one where you supposedly kill him? You’ve been talking about it for months but that fucker is still alive and walking around!”

        Alfie leaned up against the armoire. He looked grim but didn’t seem to hold the same anger for Tommy as Ella did.

        “Alfie, say something!” She urged.

        “He’s gotten closer to the man than anyone else has. If anyone has a shot at defeating this party then…” He met his wife’s look of disbelief. “Well, fuck, I know that he’s mental, Ella, we both know that! But sometimes it takes crazy to beat crazy!”

        “Exactly my point.” Tommy lit up a cigarette. It didn't matter if he was called crazy. As long as he was given the leeway to carry out his plan. In fact, he was banking on crazy to see it through. “There’s someone, once we get him, this will all be over within a week or two.”

        Ella’s eyes narrowed at him. “Who?”

        “An old friend.”

        “Who?!” She wasn’t about to let him run around her with secrets.

        “A member of the 107th. Best sniper I've ever known. He’s locked up in an asylum right now but once we break him loose, we…”

        “An asylum?” Ella threw her hands up and wondered if she had been caught in a nightmare. “A fucking asylum, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

        “What’s your plan?” Alfie asked.

        “Oh my God. Alfie, please don’t entertain him, he’s probably all doped up!”

        “Hey! You wanted a plan; I’m trying my best to get everyone out of this!” Tommy’s defenses went up when she mentioned his drug use.

        “I wanted a plan, not a crapshoot!” Ella stood up from the bed and took a few threatening steps toward her brother.

        “Hey, hey, c’mon now.” Alfie got between them before their showdown attracted the entire house’s attention and woke Linda from her sedated state.

        “At a rally, I’ll have a bullet put through his fucking head. That’s the best chance we’ve got.” He continued. “If you’ve got a better idea, I’d love to hear it.”

        “What about our safety?”

        Tommy’s face fell a little. “I think it would be best if you and Alfie made yourself scarce until I’ve sorted everything.”

        Alfie frowned. “That wasn’t what we spoke about.”

        “I know. But what he said to me tonight…I’m very concerned about the safety of both of you.” His voice quieted.

        Ella was breathing heavily, anger built up so much that it was spilling over. “What did he say? Verbatim, Tom. I want to know what he said, word for word.” She hissed through gritted teeth.  

        Tommy took a deep breath. Either way, he would incur the wrath of his sister so he decided to at least be truthful. “He said I needed to deal with Alfie or he would do it for me.”

        “Deal with him. Like kill him? That man is going to kill my husband?” She pushed away from Alfie and went to get her gun tucked away in her purse.

        “El, Ella!” Alfie grabbed her before she got the chance to load her pistol. “No, no, no, put that down right now.” He wrenched the gun away from her shaking hands.

        “I’m going to fucking kill him; I swear to God.”

        “No, you’re not,” Tommy replied firmly. “We’re doing it my way because it’s the only way this family makes it out unscathed. Nothing is traced back to us, we smother the message. That’s how we’re going to do it.” He spoke firmly.

        Alfie wrapped his arms around Ella who was shaking so badly she could hardly stand up straight, even her vision was blurred with rage. “Are you happy with yourself?” She questioned fiercely. Huh? Are you fucking happy?!”

        “Ella…”

        “What do we do, Tom?” Alfie tried to keep the siblings from escalating even more. He had to keep a level head. Yes, there was a man not too far away that wanted him dead just because of his religion. But if that man was murdered in Arrow House, the Shelbys’ lives would be on full display to the public. It could land them all in prison, or maybe on a trip to the gallows. It would be difficult for Tommy to wrangle everyone out of a situation like that.

        “We have allies in Wales. The Youngs and Lees. The further west you are might be best. I’d keep you away from the north and away from London.” Tommy’s voice evened out again.

        “They found the Golds. We’re not safe out there.” Ella argued.

        “They won’t know you’ve gone out that way. I’ll send them information saying you’ve traveled east.”

        Ella looked indignant. Alfie looked disturbed. “I ain’t leaving my business alone.”

        “We’ll be able to take care of everything for you.”

        “No, no, that’s not happening, mate.” Alfie shook his head. “I’ll be running business as usual, I ain’t afraid of some fucking fascist. And I certainly ain’t gonna go live out in the middle of fucking nowhere in a caravan.”

        “He intends to kill you, Alfie.” Tommy reminded him as if the man misheard him.

        “Yeah, lotsa men have intended on killing me. Guess where they are now? Rotting at the bottom of the canal.”

        Tommy finished his cigarette and sighed deeply. “I suppose I can’t force you to do anything. But I would warn against staying in London.”

        “Yeah, well, fuck your warning. Not running off to Wales with me tails between me legs.”

        Ella’s stomach flipped and she ripped away from Alfie’s arms to rush to the bathroom. She became physically ill, the anxiety overwhelming her senses. They were all fucked.

        Tommy locked up Ella’s gun for the night and advised Alfie to keep an eye on her. Mosley would walk out of Arrow House alive. But his days were numbered.

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Gimme Love, 3/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Hey, guys! I hope yall are enjoying this fic so far! Throw me a like please if you do. TW for this chapter: Grief // Homophobia

2003 High School. The bane of my existence. Just as I thought elementary and middle school were terrible, High School really was something else. From my childhood therapy sessions, I learned to conceal my anger, avoid freakouts, and channel my emotions into other things. It was good for me, yeah. But it also made me a more reserved person. Things still made me angry, the other kids at school being a primary key to that. But I never defended myself. Ever. Of course, Jujubee always had my back. Only in later years did I learn to appreciate the times she'd yell at the other kids, telling them to fuck off and whatnot. But back then, I wished she hadn't. It only drew more negative attention. All I wanted was to get through those tough years. I would come home a lot, look at pictures of myself as a child. And I'd be so mad because only then did I see that I wasn't an ugly kid. I was adorable. But, God clearly had favourites 'cause puberty did not do me any favours. If only I had grown up in a more modern time when no one gave a shit about looks. When people were outspoken about the cruelty that came with shaming someone for their looks. When people were more aware of the psychological damage that could do. Again, God had favourites. From years of my eyesight getting worse and needing a new pair of glasses every time I went to the eye doctor, I had thick-rimmed frames that made me look straight out of the 70s. And the lenses made my eyes look huge. I looked like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. My hair was bigger but full of split ends due to lack of giving a shit about it. I begged Mom to let me bleach it blonde. She always straight up refused. I had braces for a whole year which, yeah, many people had braces, but one time while answering a question in class, I drooled. And no one let me hear the end of it. And makeup wasn't something I really fucked with. I tried it once, safe and sound in my own bedroom, and it looked woeful. Instead of working to get better, I accepted defeat in that I would always be ugly. "I'm serious, girl. The foundation was so bad. And it was too dark." I ranted to Jujubee as we headed to the bus stop. I was trying to smoke my cigarette as fast as I could before getting there. Mom never knew, and what she didn't know couldn't kill her. Of course, I didn't just go into the store and buy them myself. Instead, I took one a day from my Grandpa's supply. "Girl, you gotta test it first." She pointed out, adjusting her bag straps. "Juju, I got the lightest colour they had. I don't fucking get it. Every other girl in the school uses it. Maybelline shouldn't sell this shit." "You just need to find a different brand." She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer, "OK, don't tell my Mom, but I tried some of her MAC shit the other day, and my skin looked fucking flawless." She let me go, took my cigarette from me, taking a toke herself. "Well, how am I supposed to get my hands on that?" I took the cig back. "I don't see any MAC stores around here." "Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your Other World self would do?" Jujubee's brow raised, a sweet grin appearing on her mischievous face. "She would say fuck school, hop on the next bus to Cleveland and go straight to the MAC store." Blowing out some smoke, I looked at her, "Well, Other World you wouldn't be encouraging that sort of behaviour." "No, she wouldn't 'cause she'd be the first on the bus." Jujubee countered. "And she'd start the sing-song." "Yeah, well other world me would out-sing you 'cause she's a star. She's a fucking diva, bitch. Mariah Carey has nothing on her." We were too caught up in our fantasy world; we almost missed the vehicle driving past us. Only when we saw the cackling faces of the boys at the back of the bus did realisation take over. We were going to miss the bus. "Fuck." I uttered, watching the guys still flipping us off as they moved further and further away. To make matters worse, a car pulled up beside us. And of fucking course, it was Trevor Preston, the Captain of the football team. His two sidekicks were in the

back seat, Logan and Noah. "Aw, look, guys. The geeks just missed the bus." Trevor fake whined. In these situations, I just shut down. I thought it was for the best at the time, but fuck, if I could go back and punch that guy. "You know what? Why don't you mind your own fucking business, Trevor?" Jujubee squinted her eyes at him. “Wow, little fiesty, Juju.” He continued, "How about this? We all say sorry, and we can both ride with us to school." 'Hell fucking no.' I thought. "Oh yeah? And what's the catch?" Jujubee raised a brow. "You let me feel your tits," Trevor smirked, his two cronies snickered. "Ah, there it is. I thought that was what your pea-sized brain would come up with." Jujubee nodded her head. "So, hey, Brianna," Trevor shifted his attention, "You're awfully quiet. Don't I at least get a hello?" I was still frozen, feeling my anxiety brewing within. "Dude, don't be so sensitive. You know, if she opens her mouth, she'll just drool all over herself." Logan added, the three axe wounds beginning to snicker again. I felt like I should have at least opened my mouth to prove them wrong, or maybe spit on Trevor's car. But still, I just stood there. "Trevor, if you don't fuck off right now, I'm gonna key your car." Jujubee threatened. "Juju." I tried to stop her. "Wouldn't even have the chance, sweetheart. Either of you bitches come near my car; you'll never walk the halls again." How gentleman-like, threatening two girls. Funny how our safety was the price to pay for a car. Oh, men. "Keep that in mind," Trevor concluded before driving away with dumb and dumber. "You didn't have to do that." I looked at Jujubee. "I'm sorry they're such assholes." She replied, taking my hand in hers. I shook it off, however. "No, I mean, I wish you wouldn't do that." Jujubee crossed her brows, "what? So I'm supposed to sit there and just take it? No fucking way." "I know. But," I paused, "they kinda scare me. You know?" "Brie, there's nothing more pathetic than a man sweating over the safety of his ride." She retook my hand, "Don't be afraid of a cunt like him." "I mean, I can try not to. But I can't make any promises." I shrugged. "Anyway, what's the plan? How are we supposed to get there on time?" Jujubee was silent for a moment before replying with, "my Mom?" Her Mom did end up giving us a ride, much to my dismay. I would have preferred to take the day off. Or better yet, to just fucking drop out altogether. But Jujubee was always there to reassure me - I adored that bitch. I would have fucking taken a bullet for her. I would like to say that it wasn't just Jujubee and me, that we had a group of more friends. But these guys, I never really counted them as friends. A year prior, we both decided to try and improve our social lives by joining a club. The only one that would accept us was the chess club. Every other member was a guy, and they were nerds. Not that Jujubee and I minded. However, the problem was that they only let us in because...well, do I even need to explain? "So, Brianna," Jimmy decided to approach me at the end of one session, licking his hand and sweeping his hair from his face. "Because I beat you twice today, what do I get?" "...Excuse me?" "My prize. What do I get??" He put an arm around my shoulders. I was puzzled, "Uh, you can have my chicken nuggets at lunch." His grin was beginning to disappear. "Oh, I was thinking of something else. A kiss, maybe?" I felt bad for doing it, but my fight or flight response told me to just run from the room. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but these guys were just on another level of thirst. And it wasn't just me who they flirted with. Jujubee had informed me of a time Arnold convinced her to make out with him. She was all for it until she realised how awful of a kisser he was. And as the boys became more desperate, we decided that we were better off alone. Again, I was so grateful for Jujubee. I was surprised she stuck around, considering she had seen me at my worst when we were still so young. How the fuck had she not developed

issues of her own? Jujubee was the number one reason I even found the strength to just get up in the morning, drag my ass to school, and do my work - Well, aside from wanting to get good grades so I could go to a good college. The second reason? Blair. Unlike me, she was thriving. Our lives were totally cliche - me being the kid who grew up to be the nerd who only speaks when it's to answer a question. And Blair, growing up to be the head cheerleader. And I was still very much in love with her. What a fucking cliche. I avoided Blair at all costs for several reasons;

differing social circles (in my case, lack of),

her boyfriend, who was the Captain of the soccer team and wasn't shy about giving me and Jujubee grief,

her friends,

and, of course, my massive crush on her.

So, why was Blair the second reason as to why I dragged myself to school? Her smile. That was enough. As much as I tried to avoid her, the world decided to do a big "fuck you" on me and sometimes put us into situations together. And every time, I'd be internally freaking out. The worst was when we were both 16. It was that time of the year when the school would invite someone to subject us to the most humiliating moment of our lives. How the fuck were you supposed to put a condom on a banana without bursting out laughing? How the fuck were you supposed to sit there and keep a straight face when the educator used words like 'flaps'? We filed into the class, Jujubee and me taking seats at the back of the room. We knew this was going to be hilarious, so best to avoid the attention of the teacher. "Juju, I know you are dying to make jokes during this, but I'm begging you. Please don't." I spoke quietly to her as other students filed in. "But you know I'm going to, right?" Jujubee smirked, putting her bag on the ground. "No. We wanna keep a low profile. If we laugh, we draw attention, and then we risk being singled out. You know? We'll be at the front of the class demonstrating whatever this bitch asks us." Obviously, I was referring to putting condoms on bananas and the like. Juju, however, raised a brow, "I wouldn't mind that, babe. Don't worry. We won't need to take our clothes off." I stared at her for a few seconds, unable to think of how to respond to that. Jujubee winked, and I forced myself to look away. "That's not what I meant." Blair strolled in with Denali and Rosé, already I could feel my stomach knotting. They went to sit together somewhere in the middle. "Ugh, nope. I don't think so, ladies." Ah, Miss Jaida Hall, if only I could have warned you not to say what you were about to say. Somehow Blair and the two others knew she was speaking to them. She continued, "This is an important class, and I'm not gonna have you all laughing and snickering during it." She had a point. The three girls usually whispered to each other in class, giggling about all sorts of shit. It was never anything malicious about the lesson or teachers, just inside jokes with each other, pretty harmless stuff. But it pissed the teachers off so much. "You can't be serious, right?" Denali replied, clearly scandalised. "Very serious, actually." Ms Hall nodded, "Denali, sit with Brian. Rosé, with Gigi. Blair, with Brianna." I grabbed Jujubee by the wrist, the pressure making her squeak. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Blair was not rolling her eyes as she made her way to the back towards me. This was not fucking happening. As instructed, Jujubee stood up and let Blair sit down, moving to sit somewhere else. I was alone with the one person I tried my hardest to avoid. She slouched down in her chair, arms folded like she was already over it. I wanted so badly to ask if she was OK. But I couldn't bring myself to. And as the lights turned off and the sex-ed lady pressed play on the video player, I wished I had said something. As the way too enthusiastic narrator explained step by step the act of sexual intercourse, I tried hiding the blush on my face with my hair. I tried so hard to focus on what I was being taught. The truth was, I was still a virgin, as were many of the others in the room, I'm sure. But unlike them, I had no idea how sex worked. It wasn't something I ever gave time to think about. I felt a tapping on my hand. My body tensed as I glanced to the side. Blair was looking at the screen, then at me, then her fingers brushed against my hand. I stared back, unsure of what was happening but also knowing full well what she was doing. She leaned closer and pressed her lips on mine. … OK, that's not what happened. Life wasn't a movie. This was the beginning of the fantasies. Was I ashamed because I was thinking about Blair like that? Or was I ashamed that I enjoyed thinking of Blair like that? "This is ridiculous," Blair whispered. Was I supposed to say something back? "What do you mean?" I

whispered back. "Do they actually think we're that dumb? We all know how sex works. We don't need this stupid class." Blair rolled her eyes. I almost told her that I belonged to the small percentage that didn't know. But I stopped myself. I couldn't bear her knowing that information. Instead, I went with the awkward, "haha. Yeaaahhhh…" For the rest of the film, we sat in silence. Still trying to focus on the screen. Not the absolute stunner sitting next to me. And as if by magic, the video ended. I wanted to say I was relieved, but I couldn't lie; what I learned from the film left me nauseous. He puts his hoo-ha in her what, now?? "Well, that was really cool and hip, right?" The educator enthused. I cringed internally. No woman wearing a crucifix necklace and ankle-length skirt has the right to use words like 'cool' and 'hip'. "I know it's probably all so confusing. So that's why I'm here to answer any of your questions, dudes and dudettes." Already, one of the boys put a hand up. "Go ahead, homie." "What about the other hole?" He said with a straight face before his friends started laughing. He laughed back as he fired one of them. "You know. The back door?" Ms Hall shot him the 'look'. He was toast. The sex educator fixed her hair quite uncomfortable, "Well, there's a reason that is an out hole, young man. I warn all of you, do not go down that road. You will get aids and die. Now, does anybody else have a question?" The educator rambled, fixing her hair awkwardly. I heard the rustling of clothes beside me, and glancing around, Blair had her hand straight up in the air. "Yes, sweetheart?" Sex Ed lady pointed to her. "OK, so this is interesting and all, but I was just wondering, what about non-heterosexual sex?" Her brows knit for a moment. I looked around at her now. The breath caught in my throat. "I'm sorry?" Sex Ed lady asked. "You know. Man on man. Girl on girl. What about all of that?" Blair raised a brow. "I mean, you gotta know there's more than just heterosexual people out there. Maybe some even in this room right now." "Blair." Ms Hall began. "Because, if you disagree, then that's ridiculous. Oh, and if you think aids is some kind of death sentence, then you seriously need to educate yourself." Sex ed lady looked appalled, her Christian beliefs quite clearly threatened. "That's it. Get out." Ms Hall stood up. Blair huffed, pushing her seat back, lifted her bag and left the room, Ms Hall following behind. "OK. So, any other questions? Reasonable questions only, please." Jujubee was looking over her shoulder at me now, sharing the same expression I did. Thank God for lunch next period. Jujubee and I were hiding at the back of the school, in an alley between the building itself and the old workshops. The perfect hiding place for a smoke and to freak the fuck out about specific events. "Juju, she knows. She knows I'm a lesbian. She knows I like her." I paced. "I'm moving. That's it." I stopped. "But why would she speak up for me of all people? It doesn't make sense." My eyes widened. "Unless she's also a lesbian. I mean, that makes sense, right?" Jujubee had been sitting on the wall, patiently listening to my manic ramblings. The first few minutes, she was just as astounded. But the more I theorised, rambling on and on, she was over it. "I highly doubt that considering the boyfriend." "Then she must know. Why else would she say it? I highly doubt there are other gays in that class. Speaking of which, I had no idea lesbians could have sex like; how does that work. I'm gonna look into that somehow. But getting back to the point, if she did know, why would she speak out for me of all people?" My ramblings were non-stop. I tried my best to avoid Blair for the rest of the day, not that I could, considering we were both in the same last period. Blair's outburst was the talk of the school. I wasn't sure if it was a positive response or not. The only thing I did know was Trevor was pissed. "Brie, look." Jujubee tapped me. I turned from my locker and looked where everyone else seemed to be

looking. Just down the corridor, Trevor was standing over Blair, their conversation clearly heated. People were shamelessly moving closer, Jujubee following in their path. "Juju, don't," I whispered. But she didn't listen. I went after her as if it would stop her. "Trevor, this isn't that big of a deal," Blair said. "Not a big deal? Blair, do you know what the guys are saying? They think you're gonna dump me for a girl. Do you know how humiliating that is?" Trevor held a hand to his chest "And what if I did?" Blair challenged. The few people standing around cooed with excitement. "Oh, please. Don't get all cocky now that you have an audience." Trevor pointed. But Blair took a step closer to him. "What, 'cause you know you're the one who looks like an idiot? Maybe if you weren't so insecure, you'd know I would never do that to you." "Don't call me an idiot." Trevor lowered his tone, choosing purposely to ignore her reassurance. "Fine. But don't criticise me for a valid question I asked in a class you weren't even a part of. It's none of your business, no one's business for that matter." Blair bit back. "I can do what I want, Blair." "OK. Whatever." Blair brushed past him. Trevor quickly spun around, grabbing her arm. "No, we're not done having this conversation." My stomach twisted. "Let go of my arm, Trevor." Blair tugged, her voice cracking. Trevor did as was told now that the air was thick with tension, "We are not done talking," he stressed. Blair took a step back, "Yeah, we are, actually," and she turned to walk away. "If you walk away right now, we're finished." Trevor threatened. It was as if time was at a standstill, waiting for her reaction. But at the same time, it felt as though time was counting down. Like we were in a competition show. The contestant has to decide before time runs out, while the audience yells, 'DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!' No one was shouting, but you could feel everyone's excitement. Blair's lip curled upwards. "OK. Fine by me." And, finally, she walked off. The people were cooing with excitement again. "Shut up!" Trevor shouted. I grabbed Jujubee by the shoulder and ushered her back. Trevor kicked his locker, the thud echoing through the halls. That was the last straw. Knowing Trevor, he'd take his anger out on us. It was time to flee the scene. It was all Jujubee wanted to talk about for the rest of the day. Now I knew how she felt during my smoke break. But I couldn't blame her. The scene played in my head over and over again, leading to so many questions. Was there more to this breakup? Did he grab Blair like that all the time? What would happen now? Would she find a new guy? A girl, maybe? I came to the conclusion that Blair and Trevor's breakup was neither good nor bad. Bad because, as I said before, now he had more pent up anger from the humiliation of being so publicly dumped. Therefore, Jujubee and I would most likely be subject to more harassment. Good, because maybe Blair did like girls. Maybe there was still some little chance for us to be together. But if we were going to be together, there was one issue; I still had no fucking idea how lesbian sex worked. Cut to later that night, I'm in my room, sitting in front of my computer. I needed to distract myself from my thoughts of the breakup. While the scratchy dial-up tones emitted the machine, I psyched myself up. Even though I knew sex was normal to learn about at that age, it was still daunting. With shaky hands, I searched 'lesbian sex'. And fuck was it a mistake. What I wanted was educational articles, guides, etc. And what I got was porn. I watched all but a few minutes, all the painfully bad acting scenes that took place before the main event. Upon hearing the first moan, I clicked out as fast as I could. Looking behind me, Piggie was just playing with a stuffed animal on my bed. "You saw that, right?" He looked at me with perked ears. I still felt judged, so I opened my bedroom door and let him out. I needed to be exact. 'How do lesbians have sex?' And Brianna Caldwell was never the

same. My mind was opened that night. This was no mistake. This was a surprise. I couldn't look away from the computer screen, no matter how slow the Internet connection was. All of this information was all too much but not enough at the same time. And it made me feel less nauseated than I felt after watching that stupid video in class. And I built up the courage to go back to that porn site. And I watched every damn second. Then I watched another one. And another. And just one more 'cause why the fuck not? My bedroom door opened. "Brianna, I'm ordering - -" "Get out," I shouted, closing the site down like my life depended on it. But she stood there for a few seconds, eyes wide and hand still on the door frame. "Honey, are you - -" "Mom, oh my god. Can you just - -" I couldn't even form a proper sentence. She gave an apologetic look and closed the door. But she remained on the other side. "I just wanted you to know that I'm ordering pizza for Grandpa and me. Do you want some?" My forehead was in my hand now. "Yes." "What kind?" "Just…" I wanted to shout, "Pepperoni." And with that, she left. But that wasn't the end of it. When the food arrived, I waited a few minutes before going downstairs to grab a few slices. Grandpa was in the living room watching an old rerun of The A-Team. But she was there, in the kitchen, as if she was waiting for me. "Honey, look. I know you're getting to that age where you're curious about certain things and - -" "Mom, no. Please, don't do this." I whined. "I know. I know. I just wanted to let you know that this is natural, and…" she continued to deliver the same talk we all got in class. My eyes were wide, face red with humiliation. -_-_-_- 2020 I picked up a slice of pepperoni pizza, instantly reminded of the traumatic event. OK, maybe that was too strong of a word to use. But of course, you are going to dread the thought of that time your parent talked to you about sex. I walked into the living room, pizza slice in hand, trying not to dwell on the memory. "So, Brianna. Any update on the love life?" Tamisha asked. I loved that bitch; being one of Mom's closest friends, she was present for most of my life. But she always had a tendency to ask questions I wasn't up for answering. I took a bite from my pizza and answered with a full mouth, "dry." "Girl, you're almost 40." She continued. I was ready to challenge her because I was actually just 33 when Mom took her turn to speak. "Yeah, get yourself a man and make me a Grandma already." She wasn't serious. She knew I hated these types of talks, but that didn't stop her from encouraging the others. The funny thing about the time she caught me watching porn, she never clocked it was girl on girl. Of all the years I've been on this planet, I hadn't given her a clue that I was a lesbian. Would I ever tell her? I didn't see the point. From previous failed relationships and being too busy with my job, I wouldn't end up with someone anyway. But of course, I'd make an exception for a certain someone. Monét poured the first round of shots. I already knew I'd hate myself the next day. I wasn't drunk already. Just sort of buzzed. But that changed within an hour. I was hammered. Mom, Monét and all her friends were singing all the old songs in the living room. I was out in the kitchen, trying to drink 8 glasses of water. I only managed 3. Piggie ran in and put his paws up on my knee. "There he is. My baby. My fucking son." I slid down to the ground and let him sit in my lap. "How is your night going?" Just great, Brianna! Anyway, how about that Blair girl, huh? Piggie's non-existent voice said. "Oh yeah," my eyes narrowed. I unlocked my phone and opened up Facebook. And I bravely searched up her name. I say bravely because it does take some balls to go and stalk your crushes social media accounts. All it took to fuck everything up was the slip of a finger, and before you know it, you've liked a post or sent a friend request. "Let's do some digging, Piggie." I cuddled him. Immediately, she was the top result, with Jujubee

being the only mutual friend. "Yeah, girl. Infiltration." I commented as I clicked into her profile. And then her profile picture. "Holy shit." She hadn't aged. She still looked as young and radiant as she did back in high school. "What do you think, Piggie?" I showed him the screen. He glanced at it before tucking his head under his arms. The enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes. I looked at her info. 'Single'. Promising. Scrolling down to her timeline, I noticed she didn't post a lot. Fair enough. Facebook was becoming a dead site in recent years. There were just your average Facebook posts, sharing giveaway posts, a post from an old lady saying, 'Blair, this is Granny. Could you go to Walmart and get me some applesauce? Love granny xx', a shared post from a guy called George Miller. And my finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Blair holding a baby. "Oh God, we've encountered our first obstacle, Piggie," I whined. I clicked into the comments. That George Miller guy commented, 'congrats, Blair!' She replied, 'thank you, but she's my cousin's lol'. "Thank you, Jesus." I put my phone down for a moment to put my hand up to the good lord. I scrolled some more, seeing many inspirational quotes, a link to Adore You by Harry Styles. And a picture of her. With that George Miller guy. With his arms around her. Pressing a kiss to her temple. I could feel my heart sink the more I studied it. Yeah, I knew Blair and I were never meant to be anyway. But it was still upsetting. Relax. They could be friends. Yeah, that's right. Friends hold each other and act all affectionate, right?? I cuddle with Jujubee sometimes. That doesn't mean anything. Right? I needed evidence, just anything, to make it not true. I scrolled some more. There was a video, she was sitting on her sofa, with a girl playing the guitar sitting on the other end. "I've been running races on empty, Pour it up 'cause my cup so empty. Gotta make time for the real me. I've been running, I've been running on empty." And my nerves were settled again. I had only heard Blair sing a few times. She and her friends would pretend they were famous singers in early elementary years, and she'd always be the best. Then another time was in high school, at the winter talent show. I specifically remember it being A moment like this by Kelly Clarkson. It was unreal. 'Jujubee 💋💅🏽 is typing…' I clicked into Snapchat before she even had a chance to type the whole message. "Do you remember Jujubee?" I asked Piggie. Again, he was silent. 'I hope you're having fun, babe ❤ lv u'. "Thanks," was all I could manage to type. A shadow cast over me. I looked up to see Monét join me on the ground. "Hey, girl." She greeted me. "Hi, Aunt Monét." I smiled. Piggie hopped off my lap and onto hers. "Aunt Monét? Honey, you haven't called me that since middle school." She smiled. I returned the smile, only mine probably looking goofy. "I'm just wasted." "I noticed. No more shots for you anyway." She noted, taking a drink from her own bottle. "Anyway, how's the project?" "We got fucking Ed Sheeran involved." I then cursed myself internally for bringing it up. "I heard. Your Mom was telling me. Ugh, girl, why him? Why not someone like…" she paused to think, "like Beyonce. Or Lady Gaga." "OK, man-hater." I quipped, reaching over to pet Piggie. "Not true. Not all men are bad." Monét pointed out. "Speaking of which, when are you getting yourself one?" I could have given her the usual 'I don't have time for men's talk. But the alcohol said no. "Monét, I like girls." And I felt no shame in saying it. A moment of silence fell between us before she asked, "for real?" "Yeah." I nodded. "Does anyone else know?" "Yeah. Juju. And Piggie probably." I replied, leaving one more name out for the sole purpose I didn't want to get into that. "And Mom?" "Nope." She nodded. "I guess this is one of these aunty-niece confidentiality things?" "Uh-huh." I smiled. Bless Aunt Monét. "Well, no matter who you live, we still love you." She laughed for a moment before taking another drink. I knew

she was right. Maybe coming out to Mom wasn't such a bad idea. "You know what, Brianna?" She paused, "Grandpa would be so proud of you, right?" My smile slowly began to drop. Fuck, the touchy subject. "Oh, I...thanks." I thought the change in my mood was hard to miss, but Monét clearly had. "You and I ain't ever talked about him since...you know." "OK," I said quietly, feeling like my chest was a fist, beginning to clench tighter and tighter. "And sometimes, it's just good to look back on - -" "I gotta go." I quickly stood up, feeling the dark fog already come over me. I rushed from the room, my aunty calling my name and apologising. I avoided going into the living room, rushing up the stairs and racing for the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked, I let myself crumble, my face hidden beneath shaking hands, a cry clogged in my throat just begging to belt out. Mom would definitely hear it. I wasn't going to ruin her day. Absolutely not. Tags: rpdr fanfiction // s10 // as5 // miz cracker // jujubee // blair st clair // blair x cracker // denali foxx // rose // fluff // coming of age // hurt/comfort // lesbian au // highschool au // grinder // tw grief // tw homophobia [Cover image here] AN: Hey, guys! I hope yall are enjoying this fic so far! Throw me a like please if you do. TW for this chapter: Grief // Homophobia [read more] 2003 High School. The bane of my existence. Just as I thought elementary and middle school were terrible, High School really was something else. From my childhood therapy sessions, I learned to conceal my anger, avoid freakouts, and channel my emotions into other things. It was good for me, yeah. But it also made me a more reserved person. Things still made me angry, the other kids at school being a primary key to that. But I never defended myself. Ever. Of course, Jujubee always had my back. Only in later years did I learn to appreciate the times she'd yell at the other kids, telling them to fuck off and whatnot. But back then, I wished she hadn't. It only drew more negative attention. All I wanted was to get through those tough years. I would come home a lot, look at pictures of myself as a child. And I'd be so mad because only then did I see that I wasn't an ugly kid. I was adorable. But, God clearly had favourites 'cause puberty did not do me any favours. If only I had grown up in a more modern time when no one gave a shit about looks. When people were outspoken about the cruelty that came with shaming someone for their looks. When people were more aware of the psychological damage that could do. Again, God had favourites. From years of my eyesight getting worse and needing a new pair of glasses every time I went to the eye doctor, I had thick-rimmed frames that made me look straight out of the 70s. And the lenses made my eyes look huge. I looked like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. My hair was bigger but full of split ends due to lack of giving a shit about it. I begged Mom to let me bleach it blonde. She always straight up refused. I had braces for a whole year which, yeah, many people had braces, but one time while answering a question in class, I drooled. And no one let me hear the end of it. And makeup wasn't something I really fucked with. I tried it once, safe and sound in my own bedroom, and it looked woeful. Instead of working to get better, I accepted defeat in that I would always be ugly. "I'm serious, girl. The foundation was so bad. And it was too dark." I ranted to Jujubee as we headed to the bus stop. I was trying to smoke my cigarette as fast as I could before getting there. Mom never knew, and what she didn't know couldn't kill her. Of course, I didn't just go into the store and buy them myself. Instead, I took one a day from my Grandpa's supply. "Girl, you gotta test it first." She pointed out, adjusting her bag straps. "Juju, I got the lightest colour they had. I don't fucking get it. Every other girl in the school uses it. Maybelline shouldn't sell this shit." "You just need to find a different brand." She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me

closer, "OK, don't tell my Mom, but I tried some of her MAC shit the other day, and my skin looked fucking flawless." She let me go, took my cigarette from me, taking a toke herself. "Well, how am I supposed to get my hands on that?" I took the cig back. "I don't see any MAC stores around here." "Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your Other World self would do?" Jujubee's brow raised, a sweet grin appearing on her mischievous face. "She would say fuck school, hop on the next bus to Cleveland and go straight to the MAC store." Blowing out some smoke, I looked at her, "Well, Other World you wouldn't be encouraging that sort of behaviour." "No, she wouldn't 'cause she'd be the first on the bus." Jujubee countered. "And she'd start the sing-song." "Yeah, well other world me would out-sing you 'cause she's a star. She's a fucking diva, bitch. Mariah Carey has nothing on her." We were too caught up in our fantasy world; we almost missed the vehicle driving past us. Only when we saw the cackling faces of the boys at the back of the bus did realisation take over. We were going to miss the bus. "Fuck." I uttered, watching the guys still flipping us off as they moved further and further away. To make matters worse, a car pulled up beside us. And of fucking course, it was Trevor Preston, the Captain of the football team. His two sidekicks were in the back seat, Logan and Noah. "Aw, look, guys. The geeks just missed the bus." Trevor fake whined. In these situations, I just shut down. I thought it was for the best at the time, but fuck, if I could go back and punch that guy. "You know what? Why don't you mind your own fucking business, Trevor?" Jujubee squinted her eyes at him. “Wow, little fiesty, Juju.” He continued, "How about this? We all say sorry, and we can both ride with us to school." 'Hell fucking no.' I thought. "Oh yeah? And what's the catch?" Jujubee raised a brow. "You let me feel your tits," Trevor smirked, his two cronies snickered. "Ah, there it is. I thought that was what your pea-sized brain would come up with." Jujubee nodded her head. "So, hey, Brianna," Trevor shifted his attention, "You're awfully quiet. Don't I at least get a hello?" I was still frozen, feeling my anxiety brewing within. "Dude, don't be so sensitive. You know, if she opens her mouth, she'll just drool all over herself." Logan added, the three axe wounds beginning to snicker again. I felt like I should have at least opened my mouth to prove them wrong, or maybe spit on Trevor's car. But still, I just stood there. "Trevor, if you don't fuck off right now, I'm gonna key your car." Jujubee threatened. "Juju." I tried to stop her. "Wouldn't even have the chance, sweetheart. Either of you bitches come near my car; you'll never walk the halls again." How gentleman-like, threatening two girls. Funny how our safety was the price to pay for a car. Oh, men. "Keep that in mind," Trevor concluded before driving away with dumb and dumber. "You didn't have to do that." I looked at Jujubee. "I'm sorry they're such assholes." She replied, taking my hand in hers. I shook it off, however. "No, I mean, I wish you wouldn't do that." Jujubee crossed her brows, "what? So I'm supposed to sit there and just take it? No fucking way." "I know. But," I paused, "they kinda scare me. You know?" "Brie, there's nothing more pathetic than a man sweating over the safety of his ride." She retook my hand, "Don't be afraid of a cunt like him." "I mean, I can try not to. But I can't make any promises." I shrugged. "Anyway, what's the plan? How are we supposed to get there on time?" Jujubee was silent for a moment before replying with, "my Mom?" Her Mom did end up giving us a ride, much to my dismay. I would have preferred to take the day off. Or better yet, to just fucking drop out altogether. But Jujubee was always there to reassure me - I adored that bitch. I would have fucking taken a bullet for her. I would like to say that it wasn't just Jujubee and me, that we had a group of more friends. But these guys, I never really counted them as

friends. A year prior, we both decided to try and improve our social lives by joining a club. The only one that would accept us was the chess club. Every other member was a guy, and they were nerds. Not that Jujubee and I minded. However, the problem was that they only let us in because...well, do I even need to explain? "So, Brianna," Jimmy decided to approach me at the end of one session, licking his hand and sweeping his hair from his face. "Because I beat you twice today, what do I get?" "...Excuse me?" "My prize. What do I get??" He put an arm around my shoulders. I was puzzled, "Uh, you can have my chicken nuggets at lunch." His grin was beginning to disappear. "Oh, I was thinking of something else. A kiss, maybe?" I felt bad for doing it, but my fight or flight response told me to just run from the room. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but these guys were just on another level of thirst. And it wasn't just me who they flirted with. Jujubee had informed me of a time Arnold convinced her to make out with him. She was all for it until she realised how awful of a kisser he was. And as the boys became more desperate, we decided that we were better off alone. Again, I was so grateful for Jujubee. I was surprised she stuck around, considering she had seen me at my worst when we were still so young. How the fuck had she not developed issues of her own? Jujubee was the number one reason I even found the strength to just get up in the morning, drag my ass to school, and do my work - Well, aside from wanting to get good grades so I could go to a good college. The second reason? Blair. Unlike me, she was thriving. Our lives were totally cliche - me being the kid who grew up to be the nerd who only speaks when it's to answer a question. And Blair, growing up to be the head cheerleader. And I was still very much in love with her. What a fucking cliche. I avoided Blair at all costs for several reasons;

differing social circles (in my case, lack of),

her boyfriend, who was the Captain of the soccer team and wasn't shy about giving me and Jujubee grief,

her friends,

and, of course, my massive crush on her.

So, why was Blair the second reason as to why I dragged myself to school? Her smile. That was enough. As much as I tried to avoid her, the world decided to do a big "fuck you" on me and sometimes put us into situations together. And every time, I'd be internally freaking out. The worst was when we were both 16. It was that time of the year when the school would invite someone to subject us to the most humiliating moment of our lives. How the fuck were you supposed to put a condom on a banana without bursting out laughing? How the fuck were you supposed to sit there and keep a straight face when the educator used words like 'flaps'? We filed into the class, Jujubee and me taking seats at the back of the room. We knew this was going to be hilarious, so best to avoid the attention of the teacher. "Juju, I know you are dying to make jokes during this, but I'm begging you. Please don't." I spoke quietly to her as other students filed in. "But you know I'm going to, right?" Jujubee smirked, putting her bag on the ground. "No. We wanna keep a low profile. If we laugh, we draw attention, and then we risk being singled out. You know? We'll be at the front of the class demonstrating whatever this bitch asks us." Obviously, I was referring to putting condoms on bananas and the like. Juju, however, raised a brow, "I wouldn't mind that, babe. Don't worry. We won't need to take our clothes off." I stared at her for a few seconds, unable to think of how to respond to that. Jujubee winked, and I forced myself to look away. "That's not what I meant." Blair strolled in with Denali and Rosé, already I could feel my stomach knotting. They went to sit together somewhere in the middle. "Ugh, nope. I don't think so, ladies." Ah, Miss Jaida Hall, if only I could have warned you not to say what you were about to say. Somehow Blair and the two others knew she was speaking to them. She continued, "This is an important class, and I'm not gonna have you all laughing and snickering during it." She had a point. The three girls usually whispered to each other in class, giggling about all sorts of shit. It was never anything malicious about the lesson or teachers, just inside jokes with each other, pretty harmless stuff. But it pissed the teachers off so much. "You can't be serious, right?" Denali replied, clearly scandalised. "Very serious, actually." Ms Hall nodded, "Denali, sit with Brian. Rosé, with Gigi. Blair, with Brianna." I grabbed Jujubee by the wrist, the pressure making her squeak. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Blair was not rolling her eyes as she made her way to the back towards me. This was not fucking happening. As instructed, Jujubee stood up and let Blair sit down, moving to sit somewhere else. I was alone with the one person I tried my hardest to avoid. She slouched down in her chair, arms folded like she was already over it. I wanted so badly to ask if she was OK. But I couldn't bring myself to. And as the lights turned off and the sex-ed lady pressed play on the video player, I wished I had said something. As the way too enthusiastic narrator explained step by step the act of sexual intercourse, I tried hiding the blush on my face with my hair. I tried so hard to focus on what I was being taught. The truth was, I was still a virgin, as were many of the others in the room, I'm sure. But unlike them, I had no idea how sex worked. It wasn't something I ever gave time to think about. I felt a tapping on my hand. My body tensed as I glanced to the side. Blair was looking at the screen, then at me, then her fingers brushed against my hand. I stared back, unsure of what was happening but also knowing full well what she was doing. She leaned closer and pressed her lips on mine. … OK, that's not what happened. Life wasn't a movie. This was the beginning of the fantasies. Was I ashamed because I was thinking about Blair like that? Or was I ashamed that I enjoyed thinking of Blair like that? "This is ridiculous," Blair whispered. Was I supposed to say something back? "What do you mean?" I

whispered back. "Do they actually think we're that dumb? We all know how sex works. We don't need this stupid class." Blair rolled her eyes. I almost told her that I belonged to the small percentage that didn't know. But I stopped myself. I couldn't bear her knowing that information. Instead, I went with the awkward, "haha. Yeaaahhhh…" For the rest of the film, we sat in silence. Still trying to focus on the screen. Not the absolute stunner sitting next to me. And as if by magic, the video ended. I wanted to say I was relieved, but I couldn't lie; what I learned from the film left me nauseous. He puts his hoo-ha in her what, now?? "Well, that was really cool and hip, right?" The educator enthused. I cringed internally. No woman wearing a crucifix necklace and ankle-length skirt has the right to use words like 'cool' and 'hip'. "I know it's probably all so confusing. So that's why I'm here to answer any of your questions, dudes and dudettes." Already, one of the boys put a hand up. "Go ahead, homie." "What about the other hole?" He said with a straight face before his friends started laughing. He laughed back as he fired one of them. "You know. The back door?" Ms Hall shot him the 'look'. He was toast. The sex educator fixed her hair quite uncomfortable, "Well, there's a reason that is an out hole, young man. I warn all of you, do not go down that road. You will get aids and die. Now, does anybody else have a question?" The educator rambled, fixing her hair awkwardly. I heard the rustling of clothes beside me, and glancing around, Blair had her hand straight up in the air. "Yes, sweetheart?" Sex Ed lady pointed to her. "OK, so this is interesting and all, but I was just wondering, what about non-heterosexual sex?" Her brows knit for a moment. I looked around at her now. The breath caught in my throat. "I'm sorry?" Sex Ed lady asked. "You know. Man on man. Girl on girl. What about all of that?" Blair raised a brow. "I mean, you gotta know there's more than just heterosexual people out there. Maybe some even in this room right now." "Blair." Ms Hall began. "Because, if you disagree, then that's ridiculous. Oh, and if you think aids is some kind of death sentence, then you seriously need to educate yourself." Sex ed lady looked appalled, her Christian beliefs quite clearly threatened. "That's it. Get out." Ms Hall stood up. Blair huffed, pushing her seat back, lifted her bag and left the room, Ms Hall following behind. "OK. So, any other questions? Reasonable questions only, please." Jujubee was looking over her shoulder at me now, sharing the same expression I did. Thank God for lunch next period. Jujubee and I were hiding at the back of the school, in an alley between the building itself and the old workshops. The perfect hiding place for a smoke and to freak the fuck out about specific events. "Juju, she knows. She knows I'm a lesbian. She knows I like her." I paced. "I'm moving. That's it." I stopped. "But why would she speak up for me of all people? It doesn't make sense." My eyes widened. "Unless she's also a lesbian. I mean, that makes sense, right?" Jujubee had been sitting on the wall, patiently listening to my manic ramblings. The first few minutes, she was just as astounded. But the more I theorised, rambling on and on, she was over it. "I highly doubt that considering the boyfriend." "Then she must know. Why else would she say it? I highly doubt there are other gays in that class. Speaking of which, I had no idea lesbians could have sex like; how does that work. I'm gonna look into that somehow. But getting back to the point, if she did know, why would she speak out for me of all people?" My ramblings were non-stop. I tried my best to avoid Blair for the rest of the day, not that I could, considering we were both in the same last period. Blair's outburst was the talk of the school. I wasn't sure if it was a positive response or not. The only thing I did know was Trevor was pissed. "Brie, look." Jujubee tapped me. I turned from my locker and looked where everyone else seemed to be

looking. Just down the corridor, Trevor was standing over Blair, their conversation clearly heated. People were shamelessly moving closer, Jujubee following in their path. "Juju, don't," I whispered. But she didn't listen. I went after her as if it would stop her. "Trevor, this isn't that big of a deal," Blair said. "Not a big deal? Blair, do you know what the guys are saying? They think you're gonna dump me for a girl. Do you know how humiliating that is?" Trevor held a hand to his chest "And what if I did?" Blair challenged. The few people standing around cooed with excitement. "Oh, please. Don't get all cocky now that you have an audience." Trevor pointed. But Blair took a step closer to him. "What, 'cause you know you're the one who looks like an idiot? Maybe if you weren't so insecure, you'd know I would never do that to you." "Don't call me an idiot." Trevor lowered his tone, choosing purposely to ignore her reassurance. "Fine. But don't criticise me for a valid question I asked in a class you weren't even a part of. It's none of your business, no one's business for that matter." Blair bit back. "I can do what I want, Blair." "OK. Whatever." Blair brushed past him. Trevor quickly spun around, grabbing her arm. "No, we're not done having this conversation." My stomach twisted. "Let go of my arm, Trevor." Blair tugged, her voice cracking. Trevor did as was told now that the air was thick with tension, "We are not done talking," he stressed. Blair took a step back, "Yeah, we are, actually," and she turned to walk away. "If you walk away right now, we're finished." Trevor threatened. It was as if time was at a standstill, waiting for her reaction. But at the same time, it felt as though time was counting down. Like we were in a competition show. The contestant has to decide before time runs out, while the audience yells, 'DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!' No one was shouting, but you could feel everyone's excitement. Blair's lip curled upwards. "OK. Fine by me." And, finally, she walked off. The people were cooing with excitement again. "Shut up!" Trevor shouted. I grabbed Jujubee by the shoulder and ushered her back. Trevor kicked his locker, the thud echoing through the halls. That was the last straw. Knowing Trevor, he'd take his anger out on us. It was time to flee the scene. It was all Jujubee wanted to talk about for the rest of the day. Now I knew how she felt during my smoke break. But I couldn't blame her. The scene played in my head over and over again, leading to so many questions. Was there more to this breakup? Did he grab Blair like that all the time? What would happen now? Would she find a new guy? A girl, maybe? I came to the conclusion that Blair and Trevor's breakup was neither good nor bad. Bad because, as I said before, now he had more pent up anger from the humiliation of being so publicly dumped. Therefore, Jujubee and I would most likely be subject to more harassment. Good, because maybe Blair did like girls. Maybe there was still some little chance for us to be together. But if we were going to be together, there was one issue; I still had no fucking idea how lesbian sex worked. Cut to later that night, I'm in my room, sitting in front of my computer. I needed to distract myself from my thoughts of the breakup. While the scratchy dial-up tones emitted the machine, I psyched myself up. Even though I knew sex was normal to learn about at that age, it was still daunting. With shaky hands, I searched 'lesbian sex'. And fuck was it a mistake. What I wanted was educational articles, guides, etc. And what I got was porn. I watched all but a few minutes, all the painfully bad acting scenes that took place before the main event. Upon hearing the first moan, I clicked out as fast as I could. Looking behind me, Piggie was just playing with a stuffed animal on my bed. "You saw that, right?" He looked at me with perked ears. I still felt judged, so I opened my bedroom door and let him out. I needed to be exact. 'How do lesbians have sex?' And Brianna Caldwell was never the

same. My mind was opened that night. This was no mistake. This was a surprise. I couldn't look away from the computer screen, no matter how slow the Internet connection was. All of this information was all too much but not enough at the same time. And it made me feel less nauseated than I felt after watching that stupid video in class. And I built up the courage to go back to that porn site. And I watched every damn second. Then I watched another one. And another. And just one more 'cause why the fuck not? My bedroom door opened. "Brianna, I'm ordering - -" "Get out," I shouted, closing the site down like my life depended on it. But she stood there for a few seconds, eyes wide and hand still on the door frame. "Honey, are you - -" "Mom, oh my god. Can you just - -" I couldn't even form a proper sentence. She gave an apologetic look and closed the door. But she remained on the other side. "I just wanted you to know that I'm ordering pizza for Grandpa and me. Do you want some?" My forehead was in my hand now. "Yes." "What kind?" "Just…" I wanted to shout, "Pepperoni." And with that, she left. But that wasn't the end of it. When the food arrived, I waited a few minutes before going downstairs to grab a few slices. Grandpa was in the living room watching an old rerun of The A-Team. But she was there, in the kitchen, as if she was waiting for me. "Honey, look. I know you're getting to that age where you're curious about certain things and - -" "Mom, no. Please, don't do this." I whined. "I know. I know. I just wanted to let you know that this is natural, and…" she continued to deliver the same talk we all got in class. My eyes were wide, face red with humiliation. -_-_-_- 2020 I picked up a slice of pepperoni pizza, instantly reminded of the traumatic event. OK, maybe that was too strong of a word to use. But of course, you are going to dread the thought of that time your parent talked to you about sex. I walked into the living room, pizza slice in hand, trying not to dwell on the memory. "So, Brianna. Any update on the love life?" Tamisha asked. I loved that bitch; being one of Mom's closest friends, she was present for most of my life. But she always had a tendency to ask questions I wasn't up for answering. I took a bite from my pizza and answered with a full mouth, "dry." "Girl, you're almost 40." She continued. I was ready to challenge her because I was actually just 33 when Mom took her turn to speak. "Yeah, get yourself a man and make me a Grandma already." She wasn't serious. She knew I hated these types of talks, but that didn't stop her from encouraging the others. The funny thing about the time she caught me watching porn, she never clocked it was girl on girl. Of all the years I've been on this planet, I hadn't given her a clue that I was a lesbian. Would I ever tell her? I didn't see the point. From previous failed relationships and being too busy with my job, I wouldn't end up with someone anyway. But of course, I'd make an exception for a certain someone. Monét poured the first round of shots. I already knew I'd hate myself the next day. I wasn't drunk already. Just sort of buzzed. But that changed within an hour. I was hammered. Mom, Monét and all her friends were singing all the old songs in the living room. I was out in the kitchen, trying to drink 8 glasses of water. I only managed 3. Piggie ran in and put his paws up on my knee. "There he is. My baby. My fucking son." I slid down to the ground and let him sit in my lap. "How is your night going?" Just great, Brianna! Anyway, how about that Blair girl, huh? Piggie's non-existent voice said. "Oh yeah," my eyes narrowed. I unlocked my phone and opened up Facebook. And I bravely searched up her name. I say bravely because it does take some balls to go and stalk your crushes social media accounts. All it took to fuck everything up was the slip of a finger, and before you know it, you've liked a post or sent a friend request. "Let's do some digging, Piggie." I cuddled him. Immediately, she was the top result, with Jujubee

being the only mutual friend. "Yeah, girl. Infiltration." I commented as I clicked into her profile. And then her profile picture. "Holy shit." She hadn't aged. She still looked as young and radiant as she did back in high school. "What do you think, Piggie?" I showed him the screen. He glanced at it before tucking his head under his arms. The enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes. I looked at her info. 'Single'. Promising. Scrolling down to her timeline, I noticed she didn't post a lot. Fair enough. Facebook was becoming a dead site in recent years. There were just your average Facebook posts, sharing giveaway posts, a post from an old lady saying, 'Blair, this is Granny. Could you go to Walmart and get me some applesauce? Love granny xx', a shared post from a guy called George Miller. And my finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Blair holding a baby. "Oh God, we've encountered our first obstacle, Piggie," I whined. I clicked into the comments. That George Miller guy commented, 'congrats, Blair!' She replied, 'thank you, but she's my cousin's lol'. "Thank you, Jesus." I put my phone down for a moment to put my hand up to the good lord. I scrolled some more, seeing many inspirational quotes, a link to Adore You by Harry Styles. And a picture of her. With that George Miller guy. With his arms around her. Pressing a kiss to her temple. I could feel my heart sink the more I studied it. Yeah, I knew Blair and I were never meant to be anyway. But it was still upsetting. Relax. They could be friends. Yeah, that's right. Friends hold each other and act all affectionate, right?? I cuddle with Jujubee sometimes. That doesn't mean anything. Right? I needed evidence, just anything, to make it not true. I scrolled some more. There was a video, she was sitting on her sofa, with a girl playing the guitar sitting on the other end. "I've been running races on empty, Pour it up 'cause my cup so empty. Gotta make time for the real me. I've been running, I've been running on empty." And my nerves were settled again. I had only heard Blair sing a few times. She and her friends would pretend they were famous singers in early elementary years, and she'd always be the best. Then another time was in high school, at the winter talent show. I specifically remember it being A moment like this by Kelly Clarkson. It was unreal. 'Jujubee 💋💅🏽 is typing…' I clicked into Snapchat before she even had a chance to type the whole message. "Do you remember Jujubee?" I asked Piggie. Again, he was silent. 'I hope you're having fun, babe ❤ lv u'. "Thanks," was all I could manage to type. A shadow cast over me. I looked up to see Monét join me on the ground. "Hey, girl." She greeted me. "Hi, Aunt Monét." I smiled. Piggie hopped off my lap and onto hers. "Aunt Monét? Honey, you haven't called me that since middle school." She smiled. I returned the smile, only mine probably looking goofy. "I'm just wasted." "I noticed. No more shots for you anyway." She noted, taking a drink from her own bottle. "Anyway, how's the project?" "We got fucking Ed Sheeran involved." I then cursed myself internally for bringing it up. "I heard. Your Mom was telling me. Ugh, girl, why him? Why not someone like…" she paused to think, "like Beyonce. Or Lady Gaga." "OK, man-hater." I quipped, reaching over to pet Piggie. "Not true. Not all men are bad." Monét pointed out. "Speaking of which, when are you getting yourself one?" I could have given her the usual 'I don't have time for men's talk. But the alcohol said no. "Monét, I like girls." And I felt no shame in saying it. A moment of silence fell between us before she asked, "for real?" "Yeah." I nodded. "Does anyone else know?" "Yeah. Juju. And Piggie probably." I replied, leaving one more name out for the sole purpose I didn't want to get into that. "And Mom?" "Nope." She nodded. "I guess this is one of these aunty-niece confidentiality things?" "Uh-huh." I smiled. Bless Aunt Monét. "Well, no matter who you live, we still love you." She laughed for a moment before taking another drink. I knew

she was right. Maybe coming out to Mom wasn't such a bad idea. "You know what, Brianna?" She paused, "Grandpa would be so proud of you, right?" My smile slowly began to drop. Fuck, the touchy subject. "Oh, I...thanks." I thought the change in my mood was hard to miss, but Monét clearly had. "You and I ain't ever talked about him since...you know." "OK," I said quietly, feeling like my chest was a fist, beginning to clench tighter and tighter. "And sometimes, it's just good to look back on - -" "I gotta go." I quickly stood up, feeling the dark fog already come over me. I rushed from the room, my aunty calling my name and apologising. I avoided going into the living room, rushing up the stairs and racing for the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked, I let myself crumble, my face hidden beneath shaking hands, a cry clogged in my throat just begging to belt out. Mom would definitely hear it. I wasn't going to ruin her day. Absolutely not.

[miss-spooky-eyes]

OC Inspirations: Devinahl & Indy

I was (delightfully) tagged by @vespertine-legacy​ a while ago and I’ve hesitated to do this because I knew I was going to talk WAY too much - but it was weighing on me, so I decided to open up about the sources from which I stole, that is, drew inspiration for Devinahl and Indirae.

What three fictional characters is your OC a combination of?  

This doesn’t apply to every OC - not even mine - but its certainly true for a few : Many of our characters are, to an extent, inspired by characters we see in movies, books, games, TV shows, etc.

Does this apply to any of your OCs? Was it a conscious decision on your part or not? Is your OC a combination of three (or more) fictional characters?

If so - post some GIFs / pics and tell us about them! What does your OC draw from other characters?

Too much Devinahl & Indy chat after the cut.

DEVINAHL

The truth is that when I came to creating my Imperial Agent Devinahl, and in particular fleshing out her backstory in far, far too much detail, there were some sources that I went to extremely explicitly and deliberately. And chief among them was ...

1. Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

That’s right. Garak from Deep Space Nine. Plain, simple Garak. Outcast. Exile. Spy. Addict. Perennial liar. Patriot. Terrorist. Would-be genocider. Very good tailor.

(If you haven’t seen DS9, then you need to. It’s like Star Trek, but if it was actually good? And Garak is a big part of what elevates it.) 

Is it weird to compare my ancient video game Barbie/gorgeous sex bomb badass assassin and seductress to a cold-blooded space lizard who spends his days hemming pants? Possibly. But there are aspects of Garak’s character that, consciously and unconsciously, I made parts of Devinahl’s DNA. 

Firstly, Garak is a patriot. He loves Cardassia so much that despite seeing its flaws with absolute clarity, despite having been exiled and reviled by it, he would die without question to serve it (of course, he’d much rather make someone else die). And while seeing that as a weakness, despite knowing that the Cardassia he has committed to serving is disappearing before his eyes, there is still a part of him that believes that that commitment - that neverending sacrifice - is noble. The only noble part of him. That’s central to Devinahl’s character (which is, in turn, the way I made sense of the IA storyline). That while hating and despising the Sith, she would nevertheless believe in the Empire - not so much believe that it is good (at best, I think she sees it as order and stability where the Republic is corruption and chaos) as believe that her commitment to it is the only redeeming thing available to her.

Secondly, the way that Garak will take his needs, vulnerabilities, sincere emotions and package them in ways which gets him what he has to have to keep going, without ever giving up full control? Particularly in the extraordinary episode The Wire, in which a dying Garak tells Dr Bashir a series of lies about himself in order to elicit Bashir’s forgiveness, because he needs to be sincerely forgiven but without ever telling the truth?

Out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren’t? My dear doctor, they’re all true. Even the lies?

That is everything I tried to do with Dev, particularly in my fic about her and SCORPIO, particularly when it comes to her and Arcann. To know what she needs, as Garak needs absolution from Bashir, and tell just enough truth - put herself into just vulnerable enough a position - to get it, but never without reserving something, holding something back, whether it’s the knowledge that she can maneouvre herself out of SCORPIO’s clutches at any time or her real name? That’s a fucking survivor.

Thirdly, the relationship between Devinahl and Sifter (the spymaster who finds her as a traumatised child and grooms her for Intelligence) and specifically, the deathbed scene I wrote in Riddle was directly inspired by Garak’s relationship with Enabran Tain and that death scene. 

Yes, Devinahl was not Sifter’s actual daughter, but in every real sense she was formed by Sifter - and had Sifter had just one day with Dev like Tain had with Garak, Dev would have been lost. She would have turned herself into a carbon copy of Sifter, and she would have died. But the bittersweetness? The acknowledgement that the parental figure you love will never, not even now that they’re dying, love you as you want them to?

‘I should have killed your mother before you were born. You have always been a weakness I can't afford.’ ‘So you've told me. Many times. ...’ ‘Elim, remember that day…in the country. You must've been almost five.’ ‘How can I forget it? It was the only day.’

(The love and infinite sadness with which Andrew Robinson says that line, ‘It was the only day’? I’m crying just thinking about it. Anyway, it was everything I was thinking about and wanted to achieve in that scene.)

Oh ... and Devinahl’s ambiguous relationship with her implants? Well, Garak also has an implant in his head. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

2. Oryx from Oryx & Crake by Margaret Atwood

A novel character rather than from TV or movies, I hope that’s OK. And I know that there are ... very problematic elements to the way Atwood writes about Oryx, her family, her culture, her background. But she was one of the strongest elements that went into creating Devinahl and her backstory.

There were specific aspects of the story Oryx tells to Jimmie - particularly the parts about being told to scream and make a fuss if a man tries to take you away to a hotel room, and then being told not to make a fuss when a man tries to take you away to a hotel room - that became part of Dev’s story. But there was also a general attitude and way of looking at life I wanted to capture and incorporate. Oryx’s philosophy of value?

Of course (said Oryx), having a money value was no substitute for love. Every child should have love, every person should have it. . . . but love was undependable, it came and then it went, so it was good to have a money value, because then at least those who wanted to make a profit from you would make sure you were fed enough and not damaged too much. Also there were many who had neither love nor a money value, and having one of these things was better than having nothing.

I wanted to create a character who could look at life and suffering and abuse, even her own, and view it in that dispassionate way which horrifies someone from my middle-class Western background - and then I wanted to test that idea, to bring it up against SCORPIO and have SCORPIO try to break it down with torture, to see if it was just a cool facade/necessary illusion. I wimped out of really testing that belief, instead having Dev always know that she could get out of her situation/having her find a way to be loved without truly having to sacrifice her protective patterns ... but if I was a little braver and better, I’d have tested it to breaking point. How far can a character go who thinks like that while still remaining, on some level, compassionate/human/likeable?

3. Saffron (Firefly)

I could have gone Black Widow (definitely the inspiration for Dev’s aesthetic in terms of outfit etc). But the plain truth is that I thought more about Saffron while dreaming up Devinahl/writing her backstory than I did about Black Widow (yes, Widow turned her weakness into strength in a manipulative fashion all the time, but Garak did it better, and other than that she mainly looked after boys in a way that I did not want Dev to be limited to). 

Firefly, for a show that had - what - 13 episodes? - exercises far too much of a hold on my imagination and Saffron, especially in the first episode in which she appeared, was such a tremendous character. The way that she found exactly the triggers to turn each member of the crew inside out? (And if she’d had more time, it absolutely would have worked on Wash and Inara, too - it only didn’t because she had to hurry.) Dev has that. I can’t write it, because I suck, but she has it. 

Oh, and nobody will ever know Devinahl’s real name (apart from you, if you read my fic about her backstory) and she’d die before letting you know it. That’s straight from Saffron. As is, I suppose, the man who would accept her just as she is without needing to push to know her secrets, except it worked out a little better for Dev and Arcann than it did for Yolanda and Durran Haymer because Dev and Arcann will always have pegging.

INDIRAE

(This will be a lot shorter than the section on Devinahl, I promise.)

1. Steve Rogers, Captain America (and whatever else)

I have never been super into the MCU, but the key reference I used to find a way into Indy’s character, back when she was nothing more than a cool-looking Cathar Bounty Hunter, was Steve Rogers. (November can attest to this)

Indy’s physical size - she’s six foot if she’s an inch, and big - is key to her personality, but equally key is the idea that she would always experience that size as uncomfortable and slightly alien to her. Like Steve Rogers, she started out as the scrawny kid always getting beat up by everybody ... And when she got her strength (with a hefty assist from the toxic waste run-off into what was her family’s only source of water) and suddenly got TALL and STRONG? She did not like bullies - which was what led her to help Coda out of a jam at the spacesport and started them on their road.

(If there’s a better way to play the BH storyline than as a stone-cold mercenary with an utterly unwilling heart of gold ... then I don’t know about it.)

2. Xena, Xena Warrior Princess

I’ll be completely fucking straight with anybody about this (so to speak): I love Xena, I had an obsession with it as a teenager I’m still unpacking, and the show tends to feed into my characters in an ... odd way.

Indy is physically imposing like Xena, is the main thing; and her dynamic with Coda owes a lot to Xena’s with Gabrielle (although Coda is as big and tough as Indy, she is the fast talker/smooth operator to Indy’s laconic strongman). I wanted Indy to dominate action scenes the way that Xena does, be that kind of a force of nature; and watch her struggle to find ways to channel that charisma, to need Coda’s help to understand how to do it.

3. Dottie Henson, A League of Their Own

OK, first of all, I do not want to hear any kind of mockery. This is, unironically, one of my favourite films of all time.

Again, we come back to the core theme of a character struggling with her own greatness/potential. That’s what is the most fascinating through-line of A League of Their Own: Dottie, this unbelievable baseball player/physical presence (yes, she’s very tall, just like Indy) who is so terrified to admit that she wants anything more than her smalltown life and dreadful husband, even while the evidence of her talent and passion for the game is burning up these ... fields? Diamonds? I don’t know baseball apart from this film.

Indy certainly hides behind not wanting to be a bounty hunter. She doesn’t believe in any Mandalorian nonsense about romanticising what is an unglamorous job. She’s just doing it for credits and afterwards, once she’s secured her family’s future, she’s totally going to go home and settle down in some acceptable, domestic way. Being on the Mantis with Coda, it’s absolutely just a means to an end. She doesn’t want to be there, she doesn’t care about it, it’s not who she is, she doesn’t need it. This life, the adventure, the freedom, the fighting for survival, it’s certainly not what gets inside her and what lights her up, no, not at all. 

Oh, and Dottie is also a reluctant leader. She doesn’t see why her talent should put her in the position of telling other people what to do - but then, on the other hand, she sees so clearly what they need to be doing, and when she says to do it, they listen. She doesn’t want to carry this team, but they’re only a team so long as she carries them.

(Don’t worry, Coda’s not going to let her lie to herself for too long.)

[fandom-necromancer]

045. Part 2

As said, this is a three-parter and the warnings apply to all parts. Only the bold ones to this part. I promise it will end well in the last(?) next part! (You know me I never let it end bad!)

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900, Hannor/Hankon | AU: reverse AU (Warnings: android being shipped off to Cyberlife for analysis of deviancy, loss of privacy, loss of control, most think the android is dead, grieving character, trauma because of past mistakes, canon-typical violence)

[part1]   [part3]   [part4]

The precinct was as silent as ever that day. No one dared to say a single word out loud. Maybe there were whispers where necessary, but mostly it was dead quiet. After Richard had come back yesterday, he had gone straight back to Connor’s and Hank’s desk and pulled the android out of his chair. There was a screaming match between Connor and Richard as the stronger, taller twin pushed Hank against a wall, punching him straight into the regulator. Hank’s calmness and lack of reaction only made Richard more furious about it all and his attacks more intense. Connor tried pulling him away, only to earn a fist on his eye, too. It was Fowler who forced him to stop, standing on the stairs to his office, threatening Richard with a disciplinary and suspension. Connor had doubted this to hold his brother back, but he had let Hank go and marched back to his desk in silence.

Connor didn’t file a complaint and Hank wasn’t damaged enough to get him for it, so Richard wasn’t suspended. Still the next day he didn’t come to work, apparently ill. Connor was conflicted. He could understand Richard’s reaction and he worried for his well-being but throwing his fists around was not a good way to handle this. As much as Connor himself hated Hank for it, he still was just a machine. He wasn’t deviant. He followed his orders. No matter how wrong they were, who gave them initially was at fault, not Hank.

Connor couldn’t take this any longer. There was a familiar itch in his hand and his head was too busy for him. Only a few hours in, everything was already pressing down on him and he longed for a bottle to wash it all away. He knew it wasn’t healthy, he knew it was a bad thing to do, but he just couldn’t help it. ‘Fuck it’, he mumbled under his breath, shutting off his terminal. ‘I’m going.’ ‘Where to, Lieutenant?’, the android asked, but he was already walking away. ‘I’m going.’

-

Hank stayed at work without informing anyone of Connor’s absence. It wasn’t necessary as they had no running mission and as it had turned out a deviant hadn’t been among the gang-members but their very own precinct, he was left without a task. ‘Hey, there has been a homicide reported. Eden-club. Some Sex-club downtown. You… errr… where’s Connor?’ ‘You can give me the details; I’ll brief him once he’s back from the restroom.’ A lie. Not the best of options but acceptable as long as he did find Connor and followed the mission. ‘Yeah sure. I’ll upload it to your terminal then.’

Hank had checked Jimmy’s bar with no luck and was now driving to Connor’s house, hoping to find him there. No one answered as he rang the doorbell, but that didn’t mean Connor wasn’t home. As he went around the house, he could see the man lying on the floor unconscious. So, he did the reasonable thing breaking in and slapping him awake. ‘Connor, we got a case.’ ‘Fffffuck off, ya damn android!’ ‘Don’t think I can do that. You are intoxicated and I need you. I’ll sober you up for your own safety, Lieutenant.’ ‘Ya ain’t gonna do shit, ya hear me? You did enough already!’ Regardless of Connor’s words, he hoisted him up and pulled him to the bathroom pushing him under ice-cold water. Finally, that pulled him out of it. ‘Hank? What the fuck are you doing here?’ ‘We have a case. A homicide reported 43 minutes ago.’ ‘Shit. They’ll give me so much shit for leaving…’ ‘I don’t think they realised.’ ‘Why?’ ‘I told them you were off to the bathroom.’ ‘For four hours?’ Hank shrugged. ‘They didn’t seem to notice you leaving.’ ‘And you lied to them?’ ‘I can lie if it helps me archieve my mission.’ ‘I wish you could have lied yesterday.’ ‘About what?’ ‘Oh, fuck off, would’ya? Go get me some clothes, I’ll be up in a minute.’

They drove to the Eden-club in silence and Hank only half-way spoke up: ‘Connor? Can I ask you a question?’ ‘Of fucking course.’ ‘I only follow my mission. I am expected to follow my mission. I am made to obey. Yet me detecting an android amidst us as a deviant made you and your brother angry. What did I do wrong?’ ‘Hank, you… You did nothing wrong. But your mission may be wrong. I wouldn’t say all these androids rebelling and running away from their jobs and murdering people are good things. But that GV200? He was content working here. Deviant or not wouldn’t have made a difference. He loved my brother. He saved him. I can’t see what is wrong with that.’ ‘He wasn’t supposed to be this way. He was supposed to obey. He didn’t. That is wrong.’ ‘Okay, let me tell you from experience: Orders are not always perfect. Someone gives you an order thinking about all eventualities and meaning good. But in the end when you are there yourself, you might see something the one who gave that order didn’t expect. And then you should evaluate it yourself, not just blindly follow it.’ ‘But that would be against protocol.’ ‘If Gavin followed protocol my brother would be dead. And we got the perp anyways. So, he did the right thing.’ ‘He disobeyed’, Hank disagreed. ‘That can be the same thing’, Connor sighed and put on the radio to stop any further argument.

Investigating the crime at the Eden-club quickly got messier than thought. Hank managed to trace the blue-haired Tracy easily, but once he found her it was a blur of fast preconstruction and programmed responses. Connor was fighting a second android, but they both were remarkably competent, and Hank had to concentrate on his android completely. Somehow, they ended up outside, Hank jumping up from where he had fallen, gun in hand and aiming for the blue-haired Tracy. He could shoot. He could spare her. She was a deviant. Connor’s words were still in his head, otherwise he would have shot without hesitance. Sometimes disobeying and doing the right thing is the same. He loved him. Before he knew he had decided, the moment of choice had passed and the Tracy backed up, explaining herself. Hank was still overwhelmed, his software instability messing with his system. Why hadn’t he shot? Had he disobeyed? He watched them get away and flinched, when Connor sighed and turned to leave. ‘Maybe it’s better this way.’

-

The next weeks Richard had come back to work. But he was the shadow of the man he once had been. He wasn’t focussed on work, Connor often found him staring off into the distance. When he did work it was sloppy and not as thoroughly as in the past. He had been assigned a new partner at the end of the week and Connor had expected it to go to shit. But Richard was civil with the TI300 and they formed an efficient team. But it wasn’t like before. Richard was wasting away. His formerly neat and tidy appearance slacked, his hair was greasy and dishevelled and his favourite form of communication were a series of variating grunts. Connor couldn’t remember when the last time had been his brother smiled. Ever since Hank found him collapsed in his kitchen the android had apparently decided to take care of him as much as he was allowed, annoying him into eating properly and to stay away from the alcohol as much as possible. It didn’t do shit, he was still drunk most days, but he felt awful about it afterwards. Seeing Richard now slowly spiral into the same shithole, was an entirely different thing.

He wanted to help his brother, be there for him, but work quickly came in between him and his plans. More and more cases of deviancy arose and it was spreading like an illness. With Marcus protesting in the streets and it all being as peaceful as it could be, it got out of hand pretty fast. Detroit felt more and more like a forming warzone and less like a city. People fled to relatives outside the city or took a vacation. With the coming winter the streets were empty and everyone full of concern. Richard wasn’t able to work anymore. He couldn’t act against deviants and as the order came for SWAT to clear the streets and put all androids into holding camps, he refused as he was asked to join them. He requested leave from the police afterwards and only a lot of coaxing from Connor’s side let him give in to staying at his place. Whenever he came home now, Richard would be sitting on his couch huddled in a blanket and watching the news, their enormous dog Sumo in his lap. The dog wasn’t allowed there normally, but Connor couldn’t bring himself to telling Richard this. He needed comfort, so to hell with the state of the cushions. At least he didn’t drink. Richard had always been one to only drink on special occasions and maybe that saved him from wrecking his body even more. Some nights Connor could hear him cry in the living room and whenever Hank accompanied Connor home, he didn’t speak a word.

He still believed Gavin was alive. Connor saw the hope in his eyes when one of Marcus’ marches was covered by the news. He could see his hurt whenever another shooting of androids had been mentioned. He could see his anger when Cyberlife was interviewed. Connor wanted it to be true. That the GV200 was stored away in some lab and no matter what had been done to him, that at least he was still alive. He wanted that Marcus was successful. He wanted it all so badly. But he didn’t believe it.

He didn’t believe it, until it happened.

The androids were singing, the President had called the army off and Richard…

Richard was smiling.

[>next part]

[angelkurenai]

Imagine playing a game during an interview with your secret boyfriend and costar, Jensen, and teasing him and saying dirty jokes all the time to embarrass him.

“Welcome! Welcome. We're back here after the break with two members of the cast of Supernatural, Jensen Ackles and (Y/n) (Y/l/n) and we're on round three of our game and so far the lady is on the lead.” Jimmy looked straight at the camera “Jensen this will be your last chance. If you get this point, which counts for two, there will be a final round to determinethe winner! Are we ready?”

“Yup!” you grinned, glancing at your co-star and secret fiance with a challenging look.

“I was going to say yes but judging by the determined look on her face it seems like I'm already screwed so eh might as well give it a try. In my defense though-” he looked at Jimmy “This is totally not fair. You put me against (Y/n) and not Jared or Misha and now it's totally impossible for me to focus! Like, how do you expect me to win if just by looking at her I forget my own name?! I can't even think straight, let alone get a right answer out of this.”

“Are you sweet-talking her into giving you the last round or is it my idea?” Jimmy narrowed his eyes at the actor “It's like you're only saying this to win the game or something.

“Oh nah he's not.” Jared shook his head, standing by Jimmy's side after his and Misha's own game was over “You should just come by and spend a day on set with us when (Y/n)'s around. Then you'll know just how true his words are.”

“If you're also looking for the definition of fanboying, there you have it. Right there. Jensen Ackles!” Misha who was also standing next to Jimmy, pointed out.

“What can I say?” Jensen shrugged innocently “Guilty! But I also mean, as if that isn't enough, the things she says are not making it anywhere near easy! I just see it in her eyes-” he glanced at you, eyes narrowed and suspicious “She's going to bring her A game this time, she's going to tease me so bad- Oh hell, who knows what she'll come up with, this time!”

“Oh hon, you know me so well!” you chuckled, before looking down at the big white box with the two round openings on each side able to fit a hand just like the two previous ones, with only an opening on the front for the audience and cameras to see “But- but it just comes naturally you know? So I promise I will try to- to keep it under control.”

“Alright try to play fair you two.” Jimmy said with a chuckle of his own before looking down at his notes “We've got the hint here and it of course concerns an animal too-”

“Of course! Why put something from the show that doesn't breathe instead of something that moves and can bite our hands off huh?” Jensen said with wide eyes and you chuckled.

“Where would be the fun in that?” you said laughing and he shot you a look “Your expression makes everything so worth it!”

“So just like with the previous rounds you could just choose to feel what's inside the box or I'll give you the hint befo-”

“Give it. Give it right away, you don't even have to ask!” Jensen said, ever so eagerly to hear the hint in hopes that he wouldn't have to get his hand inside the box and feel whatever was in there.

“Someone's scared it's gonna be a snake?” you raised an eyebrow at him, giggling when he pursed his lips and shook his head with wide eyes, taking a step away from the box “Careful your Dean is showing!” you pointed out “Not that it would be the first time and not that I would complain!” you added with a smirk and his lips instantly pulled into a smile, as his head lowered.

“Of course you wouldn't. Of course.” he laughed slightly to himself, remembering very well just how much you loved when he let his Dean show a bit more than a minute or two. Didn't mean that, no matter how used he was to it, he would be any less shy about your preferences in bed. Especially when very few people even knew about your relationship and engagement.

“Alright-” Jimmy laughed “This will be very interesting till the last moment. Since you want the hint so much I'm gonna give it to you. It is: They wouldn't let me star in Jurassic World but at least my ancestors, the velociraptors, did. One day, I will follow in their steps. All it takes is evolution.”

“That's what it says? The animal said that?” Jensen asked with a totally blank face and Jimmy nodded his head with a laugh.

“Yes it did.”

“And that's the hint. Oh wow, I'm definitely gonna win this round.” he said sarcastically, shaking his head afterwards “That's- What does it even mean? How the hell's that supposed to help in any sort of wa-”

“I got it!” you exclaimed after having been silent for a couple minutes.

“You got it? What do you mean you got it? Already?” Jensen's eyes widened as he looked at you in shock and maybe a bit of fear. If you won, you were the one that were going to choose his punishment and given that he was wearing that great white button-up shirt underneath his suit jacket, you both knew what you got in mind the second you heard it. It involved lots of water and for that you were set on winning.

“Yes! I mean, at least I think I do.” your smile fluttered a bit “What you're saying is that this thing, this animal, is closely related to dinosaurs right? Like, it's Blue's modern-day version huh?”

“It is the closest real thing you'll get to a velociraptor, yes. And dinosaurs if you wanna say in general.” Jimmy nodded his head.

“Oh then I think I'm 100% sure that I've got this. Can I, like, write my answer down now and wait for his answer. You said we don't have to be that specific about the animal, could be the general species, yeah?”

“Well, yeah, of curse. Only if you're 100% certain, though.”

“I think I am. Besides-” you grabbed the small white board that you used every time to write down your answers “Even if he does end up getting the points instead, he still stands no chance against me in the next round so-” you shrugged, placing the board down “I either way win!”

“Look at the satisfaction on her face, oh gosh, I'm so screwed-” Jensen made a face.

“Maybe a bit. But can I take a look now that I've given my answer?” you asked and got a nod from the host of the show. Moving to the front of the box you looked at the small baby chicken and instantly squealed “Aw my gosh, this is so adorable! Is it a boy or a girl?”

“It's actually a boy as far as we know.” Jimmy said with a laugh.

“A baby boy, oh my gosh he's so damn cute! Can I keep him? I wanna keep him now!” you placed a hand over your mouth “Hey little one, hello! Aren't you adorable? Yes you are!”

“No spoilers please, though.” Jimmy said with a laugh.

“Oh she's not spoiling anything. It could literally be a snake in there, like a python even, and she'd say it's adorable. So I'm still left clueless.” Jensen pointed out with a shrug.

“Wait- ait did you get it right?” Jared was the one to ask the important question and you straightened your back, nodding your head with a grin.

“Yep! Jensen, hon, you're so getting wet, guy get that bucket of water please!” you placed your hands on your hips “Now you'll finally know how it feels like.” you grinned and he lowered his head as he laughed.

“Oh here we go!” he mumbled “Chuck help me.” he breathed out soon afterwards “Ok ok-” he let out a sharp breath “Here we go. Let's focus on the game.” he still placed his hands on top of the box, ever so adorably-scared of really putting his hand inside of it because who knew what could be there, right?

“Come on, come on you can do it!” you encouraged but he gave you a look because he knew you didn't mean it “Oh please, I'm just trying to be nice here even if you have no chance in winning this.” you shrugged.

“Alright, so let's sum up things before I go for it. You said it's related to dinosaurs and (Y/n) thing it's cute. But she giggled, which shouldn't be a good sign, right?”

“I only giggled at the idea of you wet for me, Jens. Can't help but feel eager about that!” you shrugged as the audience cheered “Yeah?” you asked them “Yeah, they know how it feels. I love this!”

“Of course they do.” he shook his head in embarrassment “But at this point I'm too scared by what could be in there to care about anything else!”

“Aww but why? I told you it's adorable!”

“Not helping, (Y/n)! We both know it's a freaking snake, ok!?” his voice came out slightly high-pitched and you laughed.

“Oh calm down, will you? But I can't tell you for sure what it really is. I think you know what you have to do-” you motioned to the box, the smirk growing on your lips “It's simple. Touch it.”

“Really?” Jensen still snickered despite how he tried to keep a serious face.

“Why Jens, something sounds familiar to you?” you raised an eyebrow, flirty mood on for good and you knew that sooner or later it would get to him in the most satisfying – for you – way possible “Cause if you ask me, it certainly does.”

“Can we just focus on this game for once?” he made a cute but certainly very hot face, the combination of which made you bite your lip.

“I am, I am. I don't know where your head is at, Ackles.” you raised your hands in surrender, making the audience laugh and Jensen look down while biting his own lip.

“(Y/n)” he whined a bit and before he could say anything, you really beat him at it with another comment.

“And oh boy, were have I heard that before hm?” you grinned “Oh yes, last night.” and as you expected this one made the fans go crazy... and probably Jared and Misha as well.

Jensen laughed, hiding his face behind his hand “Will you just not?”

“Hmm lemme think about it-” you pondered at it for barely a few seconds “Nope! 'Sides it's lovely to see you say my name in all possible ways and this game is the perfect opportunity. Speaking of which-” you got closer to him with a seemingly sweet smile “You know what you have to do, Jensen.”

He groaned a bit, looking at the box with a deep frown “Alright, one; how sure are we that this is not dangerous? And two; please, for the love of, don't say that that sound was familiar too.”

“Well, I wasn't gonna say it!” you giggled “And if you wanna focus on the game, fine by me, you know what you have to do! There it is, Jensen, it's waiting for you! Come on, go ahead, touch it!”

“But what if it's really a snake? What could be closer to dinos- maybe a lizard?”

“You won't know unless you get a bit closer, come on. You know you wanna feel it come- Oh wow, again, last night!” you teased and you knew that with the fans going crazy in the crowd with all the cheering,

“Oh yeah of course.” he laughed although it didn't take away his nerves “But what if it bites me?”

“Really?” you got serious, crossing your arms over your chest “Jensen, you of all people should know it better than anyone. Anything with a mouth can bite.”

“Oh she's really going there!” Jared exclaimed as the audience cheered and Jensen laughed in embarrassment, shaking his head for the millionth time.

“I love how I don't have to say anything else in this! For the first time, I just introduce everyone and let it all take place. You guys should be more often on the show!” Jimmy laughed.

“Oh please, can't have any more heart attacks in less than a month!” Jensen said with wide eyes and you laughed “It's enough that I'm freaking out over whatever the heck is in there!”

“Come on, Jensen, you know what you gotta do. Just touch it, you know you want to!” and you were no longer even remotely trying to make it look like you were talking about the game.

“But what if it's poisonous!” he said a bit scared.

“It won't kill you, come on.” you insisted.

“But you don't know that for sure. It might- it might not be poisonous but could bite me, inflict a wound and that could get contaminated and- and-”

“Oh Jensen, please!” you exclaimed “Just put you hand there and you know where to take it!”

You could see him fighting the urge to smile so bad “But what if it, like, grabs hold of my hand with- with it's mouth and doesn't let like that video you showed me of that-”

“Oh my Gosh, Jensen, just put it in!” you ended up exclaiming, and this time you really left no room for anyone in the room to catch a single breath as they burst in laughter. The fans even got up from their seats and cheered for you, while Jensen only held his stomach in laughter.

“This-” he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as he threw an arm around your shoulders and kissed your temple “This is why I love this woman so much!”

“And, again, let me say-” you looked at the camera “So much of last night!”

.

..

…

“You know, Jensen, we're so glad she didn't say something else right there!” Jared said with a laugh.

“Oh like him getting it in the hole? I could so easily do so!” you pointed out with a grin.

“You had to say that, didn't you?” Jensen dragged a hand down his face “Oh my gosh, fine. Fine! The game is yours, you win, I- I don't even have the mind to think what's in there right now.”

“You know I could just tell you but-” you snickered “What comes to my mind right now is not the most appropriate thing and you will think I'm still teasing you so-”

“What are you-” he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Honey, really, don't take this the wrong way, but-” you took a small breath “It's a cock.”

And oh was his reaction the most priceless moment you ever had in your entire relationship. And it was thankfully caught on camera for you to watch over and over again whenever you or the fans wanted to.