#my queer ass will not survive it
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i just learned that Evan Peters was supposed to be playing Aubrey Plaza's husband in White Lotus and now I don't know what to do with that information.
#i prob would've died the second I've seen them together on screen#my queer ass will not survive it#evan peters#aubrey plaza#white lotus#white lotus s2
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i mean i’ll say it again even though i haven’t felt this close to it since literally high school:
queers. please stay alive. we will survive. we will persevere. historically we have. historically we will. it’s really fucking bleak rn i know but nothing’s happened yet. there is always a fight and by fucking god we will fight. i just need y’all to stay the fuck alive. please stay the fuck alive.
#i’m just so. god just please survive fellow queers that’s all i need from y’all please#i’ll try to hold to my own advice but holy shit i just feel so fucking shaken#i hope my fuck ass republican family thinks their fucking felon was fucking worth it#grace being kinda serious for once#text post
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one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.
canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking#anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can#bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted#and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao#esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think#but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore#like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective#where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue#and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior#all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england#but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them#(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn)#so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona#and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time#and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency#milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it#but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id#anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty#hellblazer brain go brrrr
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i mean i should probably stop saying shit just to be mean
#on the other hand....#the social environment cultivated on here almost demands it lest i let people walk all over me#definitely one of those skills i picked up in childhood to survive social situations back then#not a great skill. not even one i particularly like using. in fact i hate this part of me that feels the need to be judgemental#the logical part of me- the more ~~evolved~~ part of my spirit you could say knows its stupid and has hated doing it since forever#i completely stopped for a while. and then my abusive ex did all the shit they did so i felt like i had to dig that judgemental asshole sid#back up to defend myself bc ik thats the level they operate on. but it also started being the level a lot of ppl on here operated on soon#after (and im not entirely unconvinced they weren't an influence as to why people became more of an asshole on here)#(them or twitter. probably a mix of both but mostly twitter users coming here lol. also had to be an ass on twitter to survive)#so now i feel like i have to cling on to this side of myself i was more than happy to let rot in the dirt bc if i dont then people are gonn#use my vulnerability and niceness and lack of desire to use ad hom n shit against me so they can bully and abuse me and say whatever#and i have to keep this image up of being unphased and happy all the time and then i snap and then its a whole problem to people#so basically be nothing ever bc ppl on here will think thats you forever moral of story i guess im not sure.#best advice i can give: dont exist online publicly in any significant way. if you wanna be a pfpless. bioless account that is your god give#fuckin right okay. never are you obligated to be part of this shit and im personally telling you its hell and if i knew then what i knew#now i would have never started coming on to tumblr in the first place. its cool i learned about all this queer stuff or whatever but it#sucks otherwise#tumblr. twitter. insta. any social media where the point is to make posts and write posts more than anything else#dont bother. so much is lost in text-style communication. bridging gaps is nearly impossible. you will always be misunderstood#i think thats the case for most vocal communication but ESPECIALLY digitally
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A rock was thrown through the window of our local trans resources office.
My trans and Disability Group was attacked by a dozen troll accounts last week talking about how trans people are into beastiality and child porn.
Troubleshooting, a coworker told me "if these are the worst things that happen this year we'll be getting off lucky"
I know he's right. And the fact that that's true terrifies me.
#disability#cripplepunk#trans#i saw a post recently talking about how you cant get real liberals to care about voting talking about trans issues bc theres too many#rich white trans people and essentially they dont give af#i dont know who youre spending time with but most of the people in my group are homeless or on the verge of it or in abusive households to#survive. we've been abandoned by the government weve been denied aid or told that bc we have some we cant also have food stamps#most of my friends are queer and disabled and people of color#suffering directly and deeply right now in our current politics w every change#one just got cut from health insurance and wiped out her small savings buying medicine she still had to be off of a whole week#there are rich white trans and queers and they dont deserve to die in a genocide either#but also the fact that youre erasing the rest of us the fucking majority of us bc they exist and using it to quantify your betrayal of#yourself and your community to vote ~third party~ up your own ass is fucking disgusting#its stuck in my head like a piece of jagged metal#im so sick of liberals saying my life my friend's lives are worthless for the sake of their idealism and strawmen in other countries
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Just booked my first therapy appointment, hopefully things are finally looking up ✌️
#ya boy survived the short consultation call all by himself#he has good vibes and was easy to talk to. which is very important especially for my socially awkward ass#hes also queer too which is both rare and nice. so im expecting good things
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okay the way gods/the afterlife are handled in forgotten realms lore is bleak as fuck. like. the mortal realm basically being a prayer-powered generator and source of fodder for the gods to throw at each other in their constant conflicts and if you don't like that and refuse to participate, fuck you you're Going In The Wall. they may or may not be interested in helping you but you're still gonna have to pick one to grovel at if you don't want to spend your afterlife getting Pink Floyd-ed into oblivion and/or shanghaid into being a demon.
like. what the fuck. this is a dystopia and even dying won't get you out of it.
#the wall thing has always bothered me idk#granted a lot of this is due to the fact that I happen to really like making godless characters/characters who have beef with the gods#because I have the usual combination of religious trauma and daddy issues one might expect of a queer millennial#so being cornered into worshiping a deity no matter how you might feel about getting involved in the gods' constant bullshit#under threat of Wall Time Forever Because Fuck You#just inspires a kind of suffocating hopelessness to me#don't take this seriously I am talking out of my ass#I know the gods need prayer to survive and all that but like#considering they keep everything running I feel like that alone should be enough incentive for them to retain plenty of worshippers??#I just feel like the alignment afterlife being such a threat to them only works in a universe#where either the existence of the gods is ambiguous or the universe can function fine without them#as things are there are still a lot of reasons why *most* people would revere the gods anyway#I just think you can afford to let a few of em off#also if there are enough to make a city wall out of them then the wall obviously isn't working as a motivator anyway#there's no reason to keep it up at this point other than being petty assholes
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…yall afraid of pancakes?
#ra speaks#personal#….god grant me patience and mercy but not strength because I want to dunk on them so hard#bro. bro I get that you’re Catholic and whatever but like. really. you’re not going to get pancakes for dinner bc its pride pancake night???#I am clearly not dyking it up enough that folk will just say the quiet part loud in front of me#at least the guy who suggested they eat elsewhere wasn’t any of the guys I’m out to and cool with.#(its y’know one of the assholes that so badly wants to pick a fight with me but is too pussy to speak to me outside of meetings)#I’m always fascinated by the lines other Catholics draw. idk maybe my family is too Irish and it’s like#there’s people who won’t swear or watch anything that acknowledges queer people or apparently eat pride pancakes#like ???? where I’m from is you’re happy healthy and not hurting yourself or others who gives a fuck. more pancakes for my gay ass I guess.#I’m not even mad really it’s just. I am feeling incredible: you would not survive the real world. abt these guys.#except they would bc their parents are loaded rich white folk :/
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.
#accidentally coming out at work on my first day is uh. well#it’s SOMETHING. scary and nice and scary some more y’know?#i mean my coworkers are queer but I’ve never been out at a job before bc I’ve never not had homophobic coworkers#so this is… yeah. i’m out to friends and siblings and hundreds of gay people on my phone sjdhej but that’s it#anyways idk how long i’ll have this job (or want it) but maybe this will be a good thing for my scared of being seen ass 💀#i was so nervous for today i felt sick but heyyy i survived :’)
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just got flashbacks to my mccafferty days. do you know how insane it was for my first major, close to home cancellation to include a theory that the main singer was long con faking being pansexual so he could like use slurs
#bro he was so fucking queer that I was able to vicariously live as a queer boy through him#bitch the music was fucking ass#but boy howdy did I feel like a dude#anyways i think it also had to do w him being transphobic#it was crazy like there was like a dissertation about it#none of you will understand this cuz my audience mostly comprises of “I love taylor swift” and “taylor swift is objectively bad”#which means one group wouldn’t of heard of it because mccafferty is like pretty bad#like car crash metal exploding in your ears nails on chalkboard bad#and the other group literally wouldn’t survive the experience of listening to legitimately bad music#and I want them to live#cuz sorry if you don’t like ts song writing I think “MY DAD WAS AN ALCHIE” would be like the wicked witch getting hit w water
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The fucking sunsets tho
#sunsets#my sweet babe#tiny ass towns#queer#magic sunsets#sky poetry#personal#surviving narcissism#narcissist survivor
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Fr like wtf man 😔
Hyper fixations or smth and Will Byers being the star of them
Wish I could hyper-fixate on something cool like spaceships or trains.
But instead I got this loser
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I'm sorry but I cannottt take americans who fearmonger about a 2nd trump term being a dictatorship that no one will survive seriously. they really treat dictatorships as this mythological boogeyman that will come for their white queer ass personally because they've always been safely removed from the reality of the violence and turmoil that their country routinely instills in the global south. they don't know anything about the dictatorships that the US have supported in my country and many others, only that it's a Bad Thing that is supposed to happen to brown monkeys, not meee. you're okay with the violence the US turn to the rest of the world, and your only fear is that this violence is turned against you - nevermind that the people who have dared challenge this sentiment within the US have had to bear the brunt of this violence for centuries. you will be fine. quit being dramatic and try to learn from people who have actually lived through dictatorships that your shitty country couldn't help but have its dirty hands in
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I just want to start saving stuff like this so that should my queer, trans, Jewish, commie ass survive what is to come, we can tell historians that yes. They did in fact know what was coming and they chose it anyway.
None of these fuckers get to claim ignorance. Not a single one. They're going to carry that shame forever and may every single one of their spawn and their spawns spawn for 100 generations carry that shame.
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my favourite things that reneé rapp has said
(in no particular order)
• "but also, like, yes, it was fun, but it was just silly, like, we made, like, a musical of a movie that was already a musical based off of a movie, like... like, we're not out here curing cancer, we're just having fun"
• "moana"
• "i would hit on me"
• "mommy. i love her, i love you, mommy... yeah... in a respectful way"
• "ADHD! ADHD!"
• "there's a dress code... okay, and i didn't wanna adhere... to the fucking dress code... because i don't wanna wear a collared shirt if i'm told to"
• "i'm reneé rapp and i'm ruining my own life"
• "serious question... serious fucking question... do you- do you ever just kinda like look at your nipp- like, feel- like, feel your nipple... and you're just like... you're so cute!"
• "it is with a... heavy heart that i announce that this ass is in fact... still fat"
• "also, disclaimer, screw your diet culture, i'm enjoying my time with my fridge, thank you"
• "actually best ass i've ever seen in my life"
• "men should die🤗"
• "i should be sedated from time to time"
• "i feel... um... fucked"
• "today, i'm not thriving, i'm surviving, but maybe tomorrow... we'll be thriving?"
• "there's a baby... there's a baby, there's a baby, there's a baby... i'm gonna steal it"
• "i love margot robbie, so that movie is gay to me... in a way... cuz she's so cute in that movie... ah!"
• "there's no real way to, like, act or, like, look queer or gay, however, i was acting and looking gay"
• "i mean, i'd like to say thank you to all of my exes, like, i've profited heavily off of that and i really appreciate it... and a huge thank you to every man that helped made me realise that i was a lesbian"
• "harry... come out"
• "'can i be your next chair' what does that mean? ..... 😳"
• "jokes on you, skank, i don't run, it hurts my fucking knees"
• "mommy's tired, like... take mommy home"
• "um, delusion?"
• "any notes for her? ... date me?"
• "because i was like, motherfucker, one thing you're not gonna do is take away my pride"
• "yeah, a lot of people were, um, upset... and i... enjoyed it"
• "if the shoe fits... lace that bitch up and... run"
• "be mad. go home. touch grass. play in traffic."
• "leave him. quickly. with a swiftness"
• "just for a little clarification, i didn't bring that bag of apples... it was just there"
• "one could yap and one could strap"
reblog with your favourites !!
#renee rapp#mean girls#regina george#lesbian#lgbtq#mean girls 2024#mean girls on broadway#slocg#tslocg#sex lives of college girls#the sex lives of college girls#leighton murray#reneé rapp
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