#my pseudo persona

[screwzara]

Have some sketches I made today in class

My Sona's new appearance :)

And a little something else

[dykedvonte]

Danse has to get homesick In Sanctuary. Like despite being uncertain of how much his past is real including times with the Brotherhood, those memories were home. The Brotherhood was home especially the Prydwen.

No matter all the comfort and the luxuries SoSu could put to make him feel more relaxed or like it’s his space it’s still not home. It’s so unique to him cause everyone else has a home in a sense. A thing or place they can come and go to as they please while Danse doesn’t. He can never go back to the people he considered family and they can never go to him without serious consequences. It doesn’t help that (due to his own faults and beliefs) a good majority of the new people in his life do not exactly like him.

It’s so isolating for him as the wasteland is also a different culture in general. Theres so much he’s not used to vs what he is. But all in all I think that’s a good thing. I feel as if Danse had a better arc in game it would 100% have him learning or developing a sense of home before a sense of self. I think it gets overlooked that Danse is a person that likes or feels like he needs to belong to something. A cause, a philosophy, a mission. He needs a goal. He must learn to live for himself and his purpose but it’s clear he wants to find that through something which is why he latches onto the Sole Survivor after rather than just wander the wastes. He needs something, anything to base a sense of self on at this point in time and who better than the person that opened their home to him in the first place.

He’s a dude that needs a foundation or home to ground himself on or else he doesn’t know what to do with himself or even start.

[soft-serve-soymilk]

And for more rambles this evening: Why HAVEN’T I played Tokyo Mirage Sessions 🤔

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.

[lenialenient]

LESBIAN GIRLGROUP PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR NOVEL INCOMING FEB 21 BABY

After much forewarning, my sophomore novel AMBROSIA is officially gonna hit us on the 21st of February 2025.

AMBROSIA follows a superstar and second-most-lucrative-member-of-her-girl-group from the point where she's Katya, a grossly ambitious teenager clawing her way through a pseudo-dystopian celebrity training program, to the peak of her career, where she's lost herself in the big diva persona of Ambrosia, bleeding from her nose more than is usual, and hiding a breakdown-induced shaved head from the world.

AMBROSIA is a seven-year-long story of management-dictated shower times, performance-enhancing drugs, and ill-advised affairs with beloved and behated group-mates, told in increments by a semi-reliable narrator over the span of only the one fateful day where a life in service of being looked at finally translates into clawing out eyes.

That is all to say it is now PREORDERABLE - both in ebook and paperback - wherever you get your books from! (If you want to cop a paperback from evil overlord Amazon and it's listed as unavailable on your regional evil overlord storefront, try the US one.)

And ALSO you can read ahead on the first couple chapters for free right HERE.

Thank you for your support and thank you, once again, @shalida for this incredible cover.

[sealedterror]

Stellaron Hunters and Astral Express Parallels

So, I've noticed that the Stellaron Hunters are basically a darker, murdery, and morally grey parallel version of the more heroic Astral Express, with every member mirroring another from the other group. Two sides of the same coin, if you will. First thing I'd like to point out, both factions don't really follow any current aeon. They "follow" (very loose term here) the missing-in action Akivili and the "Destiny" that Elio forsees. Both factions also are deeply involved with Stellarons(we encounter a stellaron on every planet, the Stellaron Hunters hunt them. Obviously) Here's some similarities I've thought of between the members and some theories based off each other: !!SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Dan Heng and Blade:

Both from Xianzhou,

Immortal in some way(Blade's self-regenerating and Dan Heng's reincarnations)

Same gender

Dan heng's five star form enhances his basic attack, like Blade, who I BET was ALSO a four star before the mara and Jing Liu incident

Similar age? Don't really know exact timeline between them

Both feature flowers in their gameplay(lotus flowers and spider lilies)

Himeko and Kafka:

Both intelligent women

The pseudo-moms of their faction.

I might be pulling out of my ass here, but I'd like to point out that both of them use both a ranged weapon(Himeko's laser and Kafka's gun) and also a melee weapon(Kafka's katana and Himeko's grator).

Since they are each others parallel, I'd like to make the assumption that since Himeko was the first one to join the Astral Express, that Kafka was the first one to join Elio. It just fits with the known info we have and clears up any ambiguity, but you don't have to strictly adhere by it lol.

Pom Pom and Elio

"Animals" yeah right

The being who leads their group in the direction wanted(conducter, scriptwriter, best destiny, best path to blaze)

You assume they are the cute mascot at first, but then there is something...exceptional about them, that you can't quite pin down.

Both are sentient and can presumably talk(Elio might just write to communicate, how would that work though? Toe beans? Meow to text? Lmao)

Wait....with synestheia beacons that's actually very possible. Oh god

March 7th and Silver Wolf(HEAR ME OUT)

The trendy, youthful girl of the group

....Use of technology?

yeah i got nothing BUTBUTBUT

March 7th's mysterious pasttttt. Like, the similarities between Danheng and Blade weren't revealed until his five star form was revealed and I'm making the theory that when March 7th's mysterious past is revealed, the similarities between her and Silver Wolf will appear!!!!

So Silver Wolf is from Punklord, is extremely accomplished and powerful, chaotic neutral with a sense of wanderlust. I don't know much about her(don't have her character/character story) so I can't say much more, but what I do know seems pretty plausible for March's former self.

It supports my theory that March 7th's five star form will be Nihility. Imbibiter Lunae was Destruction, like Blade. The memokeeper in March's quest said her past would "only bring her pain". How nihilistic is that? Either way, I'm definitely pulling xD

Stelle/Caleus and Firefly/Sam(the best for last ;)

So this is the one that really cemented this theory into my mind. So far, you might have noticed that every member's mirror image is the same gender(with the exception of Catlio and PomPom, I'll talk about it in the comments). But Trailblazer has TWO genders/personas. You know who ALSO has two genders/personas?FIREFLY/SAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some theory and more similarities between them

They both are the explosive power powerhouse of their group(Stellaron and Sam's firepower)

Both pretty smart(dubious) and funny(hilarious, the both of them)

They both eat questionable things...Trailblazer's trash consumables and Firefly's woodchip Oak Cake(seriously, read the description, do they have iron stomachs or something??)

...So they might have iron stomachs.

Both were presumably artificially made. We know Firefly/Sam is(born to fight in a war) and the Trailblazer is a vessel of a Stellaron. There has to be some funky, wonky, genetic/biological makeup for that.

Welt Yang and no one lmao

Lonely ass old man, no ship?(making the no bitches face)

Anyway, I presume he doesn't have any parallel bc he's from another universe. I don't know much cause I haven't played Honkai Impact. Something about a comic and "herscherr"? Idrk but. I suppose Luocha could join the Stellaron Hunters. That would be crazy as hell and if it happens I CALLED IT, but it probably won't. Probably.

There is also the theory Sunday joined the Stellaron Hunters. It's honestly really interesting and if that's true.....Welt Yang and Sunday don't have any similarities so that's tossed out the window. So, that only leaves the possibilty that we will have a mirrored someone of Sunday joining the Astral Express in the future. That would be INSANE but fun as hell like, can you imagine?

On another, slightly less speculative note, I'd like to point out that the five stars of the Astral Express have the same paths as the Stellaron Hunters. DHIL and Blade, are both Destruction. The Trailblazer started off as Destruction and Firefly/Sam is Destruction. As I theorized above, March 7th's five star form is likely Nihility, just like Silver Wolf. Except for Himeko and Kafka. Hmmmm

It is also my theory that Kafka was supposed to be Erudition, like Himeko, but the Stellaron Disaster on her homeplanet altered her path to Nihility. We know how smart Kafka is and we've seen paths change, Dan Heng changed to Hunt after doing away his vidyadhara features, and we have switched paths multiple times now. But we know we and Dan Heng can switch between paths anytime. I think Kafka's case is different, in that she can't switch and the Stellaron permanently altered her, removing her fear and switching her Path.

So this concludes my rant, are you convinced yet ;)? It's really interesting that the two factions mirror each other so deeply. I am getting the message that, whatever our fates are, they are deeply intertwined.

Thanks a bunch for reading this far and please, let me know what you think! May the Trailblaze be with you....or something lol

Edit: AAAAAA, Firefly's pool cutscene!!! She said, and I quote "The Astral Express and the Stellaron Hunters are like light and shadow. We walk on different paths, intertwined, moving forward and growing together...Maybe the end is predestined, but, it is not today."

Idgaf, I'm taking this as confirmation!! My theories are becoming true!!!!! *high pitched squealing* Show me more, Honkai Star Rail!!!!

[maraudering-times]

25 days of Jegumas - Day 22: Santa Claus - 907 words - @noblehouseofgay

Regulus is seriously regretting agreeing to take his niece and nephew to see Santa Claus. He doesn’t even like children. Except of course little Draco and little Luna. Those two? He’d do anything for them. Evidently including sitting through rush hour traffic to get to the mall just to wait in line for two hours all for them to sit on some creepy old guy’s lap for mere moments to give their Christmas wishes and get a photo. And evidently, maybe not actually anything. 

Regardless, here he was in line so these kids he loves with his whole heart can meet the man of the hour. Luna is excitedly bouncing on her feet while Draco tugs insistently at his hand, pointing at the animatronic reindeer lining the queue. 

“I see them, Draco.” Regulus tells the smaller boy. He reaches out and grabs Luna so she doesn’t duck under the rope to touch them. “Do you know what you’re gonna ask Santa for?” He asks the children.

“Uh-huh,” Luna nods, still bouncing but now holding his other hand. 

“Me too!” Draco exclaims.

“What’re you gonna ask for?” Regulus prompts. 

Luna and Draco both shake their heads. “Nope,” Luna says.

“Can’t tell you Uncle Reggie, or we won’t get it.” Draco tells him, pouting.

“You know that Santa Claus tells your parent’s what you ask for, right? They cooperate on gifts so you don’t get double. You can tell me.” Regulus presses.

“That’s a lie,” Draco pouts.

“We’re not telling you.” Luna lets go of his hand to cross her tiny little arms over her sweater. 

Regulus sighs but leaves them be. It’s not like he hasn’t bought them gifts already, he just wanted to make sure that everything they wished for for Christmas arrived on the day, he was just going to pass the information on to their collective parents.

The line shifts forward. 

“Are you going to ask Santa for a present, Uncle Reggie?” Luna asks, looking up at him with her big blue eyes.

“Oh,” Regulus looks around at the others in line with them. “This is just for the kids today, the adults go another time.” He tells her. 

She beams up at him and says, “okay,” and turns back to look at the decorations around the queue. 

Soon enough, it’s their turn. Draco and Luna barrel towards Santa Claus sitting in his big chair and happily strike a conversation up with him. Luna climbs into his lap first, Draco not far behind. They each take turns talking quietly in his ear and he nods very seriously at whatever they tell him. Santa then points to the camera and the three of them pose. Draco gets off his lap first and runs back up to Regulus. 

Luna says something else to Santa Claus before following her pseudo cousin. “Uncle Reggie, Santa says you can tell him your wish now since you’re here already!”

Regulus stammers at the two of them, lost for words. “Oh, I’m not sure, Luna Bear, I don’t want to hold up the line.”

Draco uses all his might to try and push Reg towards the red coated man. “Go on, Uncle Reggie. You don’t want to come all the way back here, do you.”

Regulus sighs, letting himself be pushed by two eight year olds and relents. “Okay, okay.” He approaches Santa and sheepishly looks at the costumed man. “Hello.”

“Hello there young man. I’m told your name is Regulus, yes?” Santa greets him in a deep timber.

“Yes.”

“You have to sit on his lap.” Draco points out. Regulus groans quietly causing Santa to laugh to himself in a much lighter voice than he uses with the children.

“Come along then, young Regulus.” Santa pats his lap invitingly.

Regulus mutters to him as he sits, “Don’t encourage them.”

“Where’s your Christmas cheer,” he whispers in his normal voice. A very young voice. 

“How fucking old are you?” Regulus snaps surprised. 

“Ah-ah-ah, no cussing in front of the kids.” Santa winks. He clears his throat then, adopting his persona again. “Now, what would you like for Christmas young man?” 

“To never have children of my own,” Regulus deadpans. 

Santa Claus stifles a laugh and nods seriously. “I’ll try my best. Now smile for the camera.”

“Over my dead body,” Regulus mutters but does as told, feigning an exuberant smile as the flash goes. Regulus gets off of his lap and turns to the man. “Thank you, Santa Claus.”

“You are very welcome, Regulus. Your photos can be picked up over there with the red headed elf.”

  Regulus nods and collects his charges, stopping by the elf to collect their photographs. The elf smiles sweetly at him and hands over two envelopes. One has two pictures of the children inside and the other one of him. Although, on his envelope is a sticky note with a phone number and name, James, scribbled on it. “What’s this?” He asks the elf.

“Oh nothing, just the direct number for Santa Claus here in case you have other Christmas wishes to be fulfilled.” She winks at him.

Regulus looks down at the sticky note then back at the man playing Santa. He gives them a parting wave paired with a secretive wink before he turns to the next child in line. Regulus thanks the elf and stuffs both envelopes into his pocket and takes his niece and nephew’s hand, leading them away from the crowd. 

[dalkyeom]

coming back with more spiderman!vernon thoughts but this time revolving his peers (part 1)

Vernon doesn’t go out of his way to mingle with others. If you asked him, he would tell you his best friend in the entire world are his headphones until he befriends

Aspiring journalist, Boo Seungkwan

An open seat next to him, a pack of oranges, and three days later Seungkwan was calling himself his best friend. To be fair, they hit it off really well especially bonding over the ‘away from home’ aspect of their university life.

Seungkwan is kind of an overachiever. He’s very dedicated to his major and also very committed to related duties (his extra curricular).

Together with Seokmin from humanities and fellow mass communications major, Soonyoung — they co-host for the campus radio, BooSeokSoon.

Tbh, I kind of find it fitting for Seungkwan bc that way he also gets to network with a wider range of people and the experience he gets benefits him for media training or reporting since he gets to interview students and personnel

He uses this network to get to the bottom of the spiderman mystery. He has a segment called ‘who is behind the mask?’ that kind of discuss theories on who is Spiderman

Ironically, the new recruit Jeon Wonwoo always happens to be at the scene of the crime but bc his eyesight is terrible (and as a running gag, Wonwoo’s luck is terrible) he happens to miss Vernon every single time

I keep thinking about Spider-man au with Vernon and how he has to live with 95 line in an apartment at New York.

95z probably being in their senior year of university or just some dudes fresh from university. They’ve been renting this apartment since sophomore year

Joshua is Vernon’s cousin from LA that adopts him because it’s easier for him to commute to the same university than commuting from home. (hc that Vernon is a freshman)

DK is actually Jeonghan’s pet pigeon. When Vernon asked him if he got him from the pet store, Jeonghan said he just found him in his room one day and kept coming back so he taught him tricks.

Dokyeom the pigeon is different from Seokmin from humanities

Cheol’s probs that rich friend of theirs but he wanted some independence so he decided to rent the place with his 2 best friends.

He works hard and tries not to touch the allowance his fam sets aside for him so he feels like he’s earning his keep. He uses the allowance for emergencies or for christmas gifts

Bonus: it would be really funny if it turns out all 4 of them are actually superheroes but none of them know. The chaos of trying to come up with excuses to cover up why they missed dinner and the only one who can get away with it is Jeonghan (and maybe, sometimes Joshua) bc he’s good at convincing anyone of his nonsense

[frozenhi-chews]

How come no one talks about this? How come I don't see any like, discussion or art about this? It's both hilarious and oh my gosh Starlo what-?

STARLO DRANK MAGMA. Yes, to impress Ceroba, but holy cow he drank magma! Like was he okay afterward? Was he able to take it easy or did it burn him? Also because this was likely before Chujin, and the lack of the sheriff pseudo name, I have a feeling he was his nerdy farmer self. Like THAT'S an image, that's cool!

This guy drank magma only to impress the girl he liked, oh my gosh!! (That also kinda leans into the whole thing where Starlo wants to impress people and be seen as a cool guy. One of the reasons he's so in deep with the North Star persona. I have a lot of thoughts about this man)

[dcdreamblog]

May I ask a possibly stupid question? How is Sanderson Hawkins still so young? I was doing reaserch for my paper on The Sandman and the timeline was really distracting for me, since Sanderson is a relative of his. He should be a lot older than he is, shouldn't he? There was a period of time wherein he seemed to fall off the face of the Earth, so maybe time travel was involved?

Please, let me know if you have the answer to this!

Ok so, you're not wrong in that Sanderson "Sandy" Hawkins is much older than he looks.

(A portrait of Sandy the Golden Boy drawn by famous pop artist Jack Kirby) Sanderson Hawkins isn't actually related to the original Sandman, Wesley Dodds by blood. He was the nephew of Dodds' lifelong companion, famous crime novelist Dian Belmont. (Who is famous enough on her own that some people freak out when I tell them that little factoid). Despite Dodds and Belmont having a lifelong romantic partnership and cohabitating for most of their adult lives, the two never married.

"Sandy" discovered Dodds' identity when he stowed away in the older man's attic after being taken to visit by Dian, seeing Dodds being approached by the Justice Society to confer on a case. Thus discovering Dodds' identity, Sandy became his partner in crime fighting, Hawkins' sunny disposition inspiring the Sandman's costume change to be more of an inviting and trusted public figure.

Sandy served with distinction as an associate member of the Justice Society and a member of the Young All-Stars where he served as pseudo leader due to his higher experience as a kid superhero.

Sanderson was 13 when he and Dodds originally met in the latter days of 1941. Meaning he was born in December of 1928.

Which would make THIS man 96.

(Former official portrait of Hawkins in his persona as "Sand")

Maintain professional detachment, maintain professional detachment, MAINTAIN PROFESSIONAL-!

*ahem* Anyway.

Like you said, the trick is in the time very soon before the forced disbandment of the JSA that Sandy the Golden Boy seemed to vanish from the face of the Earth.

Caught in the blast of an experimental silicide gun and bombarded with radioactive particulates, Hawkins was mutated into a hulking sand monster with a violent temper. Kept in containment for decades while Dodds attempted to find a cure he was accidentally released very soon after the JSA was pulled back into the public eye around the foundation of the Justice League.

Rescued by the combined efforts of both teams he was returned to a humanoid form, but in reality his skin, his muscles, his very cells had been replaced by living sand that he now had the ability to manipulate at will.

Hawkins faded again from the public eye, trying to wrap his mind around both his new state of body AND the decades he had lost in a haze of rage and pain.

It wasn't until Dodds' death that Hawkins was called back to where he had always belonged. Originally going by the name Sand in his heroic persona until being contacted by Dodds via the prophetic dreams that animated Dodds' own heroic career, Hawkins finally donned the heroic persona that was his inheritance.

(Hawkins' current official portrait)

And the Sandman was reborn.

Since then Hawkins has been a publically active member of the Justice Society's line up and has worked tirelessly to maintain the legacy of his beloved "Uncle Wes". The most famous outgrowth of which being when he opened his Uncle's estate to historians Matt Wagner and Steven Seagle, even giving them access to Dodds' dream journals stretching back before his debut in 1939.

I respect the hell out of Sandy Hawkins. He lost decades of his young life to an accident, work up to a world not of his making in a body that was not his own, lost the two people he cared the most about within months of one another and then, when called, stood in the shape of his mentor and carried his steps into the future.

His existence is the reminder of a dream. That those who seek to do harm shall never haunt the innocent and the righteous in the darkness.

That all evildoers shall behold the same nightmare at the calling of the Sandman.

[olderthannetfic]

It seems like "porn addiction" is more of a "happy feelings addiction" rather than a substance addiction or something like gambling. You could probably claim that porn addiction on it's basest of concept is no different from someone having an "addiction" to sports, or playing games, knitting or other. It's not the thing itself that is the addiction, it's the feeling you get as a result. Gambling, from what I remember, is different because it's purposefully made to poke certain areas of the brain, and certain connections that you wouldn't get from things like doing your hobby, it's abusing certain patterns of the brain. It's made to be addicting. Porn, games, baking, knitting, reading, meanwhile are more their own thing, that just happen to give you a happiness boost if it's something you like. Most often people who develop an "addiction" also have other issues that have nothing to do with the claimed addiction, and the hobby is just used as an escapist outlet.

--

I remember a dude at a queer conference years ago talking about how he'd spent so much time goofing off in his girl persona that he'd stopped attending to all the boring stuff he was supposed to be doing and leaving his wife to do all the work. Oops.

He didn't stop identifying as a transvestite or stop crossdressing, but he did realize he was using this as an excuse to avoid responsibilities and he needed to sort himself out.

I'm sure many of the pseudo-addictions are like that: Time spent on X is fun. Most of my life is not fun. I will spend more time on X. Oops, I probably should have filed my taxes/had that difficult talk with my partner/scheduled that therapy appointment/cleaned the kitchen/whatever. Now everything is worse! I don't want to think about it. Hey, X will take my mind off of it...

[mimipuppet]

Ong i actually need to start my rewrite of my found family fic about klein, aurore, and lumian, i have no idea what to name it too, anyways here’s headcanons about them in my fic

basic background aurore (15) breaks out early and escapes the sanson family to backlund where she meets lumian (8) they both become travel companions of klein under the guise of being his children that becomes real

aurore looks up to klein as a mentor but does make fun of him and questions him such as his naming abilities and the tarot club he made

“what even is a gehrman sparrow” “it’s a reference to jack sparrow a famous pirate and a the great hunter from bloodthrone—“ “might as well just name your persona pirate hunter ong what type of name is that”

aurore’s beta reader is klein like yes girl go show your pseudo-dad your yuri and yaoi

lumian legit believes that both aurore and klein are related biologically even if they don’t look alike and think that they’re superhuman, once he saw aurore in the ring girl pose as a way to try out her flexibility with klein and it only strengthened his belief

everyone thinks that lumian and aurore are klein’s bio kids not adopted, they look at them and wonder who the mother is whilst thinking “damn his genes didn’t even try”

klein would tell stories about the nighthawks to lumian as bed time stories, and talks about dunn as this hero that lumian begins to admire

klein teaches aurore savoury recipes while she in return teaches him sweet recipes

aurore’s a fine cook but better baker, however if you put her and lumian together the kitchen will either burn down or the food tastes disgusting, they get better along the way

klein mentions aurore and lumian a lot in his letters to azik

lumian calls klein baba and dad while aurore uses father and it’s only in public, it’s only after when she starts seeing him as a father figure that she calls him dad and baba

aurore’s relationship with the tarot club members is effy on the members part with her connection to gehrman sparrow and the casual familiarity she has with mr fool, they often wonder how she gets away with the things she says and does, but they do see her as a source of knowledge, amiable fellow that would sell and read out roselle’s diary for a chocolate bar

she gets along with derrick the best as they’re similar in age, they often visit each other when they have the time and bring gift baskets full of food and drinks

caitlyn is a bit unnerved by aurore who is always watching her and asking questions when they were staying on the future, what did the daughter of the gehrman sparrow what to know about her so badly?

in reality, it’s because aurore’s really interested in the hermit pathway even saying that if it weren’t for the seer pathway being the most safest option she would have gone into that pathway

aurore and lumian accidentally make klein look like a poor pitiful widow every time

klein showers the two with charms and artifacts to protect them, lumain just thinks it’s all ugly gifts and blunty states it but still keeps it while aurore appreciates the gesture but think he may go a little bit overboard with it…

lowkey i may need to reread lotm and actually read more of coi past volume 1 but it’s largely because of what direction i wanna go that challenges me

[dyedys]

disco elysium au? why not

i did make custom skills for this based on chat. see a few of them below if you are interested + some descriptions of them (BIG YAP SESH, YOU ARE WARNED)

here are 6 skills in total, 5 of them based on chat (orange is dug dug brain)

I'll list them left to right with a short explanation as to what they do (this might also be totally confusing to someone who hasn't played disco elysium, so im sorry.):

Entertainment: Basically doug's streamer persona, who's willing to follow the bit and crack jokes, closest comparsion to og skill.. maybe inland empire, with composure? im not sure

Control: based on twitch chat mods. as a skill tends to be more reasonable and calm but ready to spring in to get a situation under wraps. closest og skill: authority/volition maybe

Silence: based on muted/banned twitch chatters. as a skill tends to have more unhinged messages/contributions, but also more mellow ones. This is due to doug constantly banning chatters in his egocentric ways, resulting in the wild mix. I imagen if this skill is fairly low leveled, you'll only get "..." from it in conversations. (The more leveled the more understandable it is...) Most closest og skill gotta be half light.

The other last three skills are more unique to the others. Zirkus der Arschlöcher is a combined skill, that'd only appear if you'd completed a certain thought about merging Audacity and Zeal, aka A crew + Z crew. Audacity acts like A crew and Zeal acts like Z crew. ZdA acts like chat as a whole. If the two skills aren't united, Audacity and Zeal *will* constantly bicker inside doug's head and make him go pseudo-insane, if he wasnt already.

And some short world building: Parkzer's a private investigator and Doug is the failed wannabe comedian friend, who decided to come and help his friend out at a tough case or something of that sort. I decided to not make them part of the RCM, because then Parkzer would actually be a cop, so it wouldn't be funny to call him a cop.

oh yeah pointcrow is the dead guy

I might make more, might not. I'd love ideas and feedback though! Thanks for reading my silly thoughts. heart heart.

[sweetheartmanor]

Commissions

Since I am the full time caretaker of my mother and probably father too, I really need some writing commissions.

Rules

I write mainly for x reader but I can also write for OCs, both fandom or otherwise.

I do not write anything illegal or out of my comfort zone. So there will be no bodily waste, no noncon, no pedophilia, no incest or pseudo incest, and no beastiality.

I prefer to post all of my commissions for examples, but if you would like to keep you comm private, I'll be charging another $5.

My turn around time is usually 1-2 weeks. If it takes any longer, I will let you know.

You may ask for updates at any time. Most of the time I will update you every two or three days.

You are allowed to ask for minor changes during the writing process, but I will not change anything after I finish or add another but to the story that was undiscussed previously without an extra fee.

Prices

💙AU Character Matchups- $5

This includes a SFW drabble. I will add another NSFW drabble to it for an extra $5.

💙1000 words- $15

💙1500 words- $20

💙2000 words- $25

💙2500 words- $30

💙3000 words- $35

Fandoms

💙That's Not My Neighbor

💙Homicipher

💙My Hero Academia

💙Danganronpa (THH, GD, V3)

💙Baldur's Gate 3

💙Stardew Valley

💙Twisted Wonderland

💙Obey Me

💙Genshin Impact

💙Persona 5

💙Demon Slayer

💙Resident Evil

💙Pokémon

💙Yu-Gi-Oh (DM, GX, Zexal)

💙Cookie Run Kingdom

Payment

I take payment primarily through PayPal or Kofi. Though occasionally I do take steam gift cards and games.

I take half payment for coms $10 and up when I begin a commission and the rest after I finish and you like it.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 — 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈

Yandere Dick Grayson x GN Reader

❥ Part I >> Part II >> Part III >> Part IV

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓: Wanted to write a platonic older brother Dick Grayson story, but depicting his spiral into yandere-hood. Tumblr can’t handle my swag AO3-length writing, so multiple parts it is!

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: platonic sibling yandere content, older brother Dick Grayson, younger sibling reader, non-vigilante reader, adopted reader, slow burn yandere(?), the pacing is very a-day-in-the-life-esque, kind-of stalking, unsettling build-up, Dick isn’t a full-blown yandere yet, starting off tame, biblically accurate Batfam, CLIFF HANGER!!

❥ 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. 𝐁𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃.

Richard Grayson didn’t really like you.

He never told you outright, but you knew. It was painfully obvious during your initial meeting (one that was “long overdue,” according to Bruce), back when Alfred dropped you off at his Blüdhaven apartment with all your belongings. Though he offered a welcoming smile with complimentary dimples, something dark swirled in his sapphire eyes, a stony cold stare contrasting with his warm greeting of, “nice to finally meet you, (Y/N).”

You didn’t know that much about Richard Grayson, other than his role as your pseudo older brother (and the fact that he was Robin, and now Nightwing, but you were still wrapping your head around the idea of your filthy rich adoptive father being fucking Batman, so… there’s not much you could say on that). He seemed friendly enough in all the gala interviews you’ve seen, but you were starting to realize to not take someone’s press persona as gospel: after all, Bruce Wayne seems much more put together in front of the cameras than he does in the manor. So, while unsettling, you couldn’t say you were too surprised by this official first impression.

Maybe he was just tired, you told yourself. He probably doesn’t get much sleep, with the whole crime-fighting thing and all.

(Yeah… crime-fighting thing… y’know, cuz your pseudo older brother is Nightwing, and your filthy rich adoptive father is fucking Batman.)

However, after getting all your things settled into his spare bedroom — Alfred being a big help, as he always was — you were getting the sense that your gut intuition was right; Richard Grayson didn’t really like you at all. He may have acted all cordial, giving you a tour of his apartment and making polite jokes, but as soon as Alfred left and he excused himself to make a phone call in his room, his true feelings on your collective predicament became painfully apparent, as thin walls did nothing to hold in his heated argument with Bruce.

“B, why the hell are you doing this to me?! ……. No, they’re in their room. Getting all their stuff settled in right now. ……. I know I did, but now that they’re here, I just—!! ……. No, they’ve been okay so far, it’s just— come on, B, I know you’re an empty-nester, but if you weren’t ready to take in a kid, why’d you—?! ……. Really? So adopting orphans is just a hobby now?! ……. Yeah, and it’s really unfortunate what they’ve gone through, but you can’t just pick up every stray you see, especially if you’re this fucking paranoid about them wanting to—”

This was the only time you could understand Bruce’s response over the phone; “I DON’T WANT ANOTHER DEAD CHILD, DICK.”

… Ah.

There was a beat of silence before Bruce continued, though his softer tone made it impossible to make out what he was saying. He went on and on until Dick sighed. “Bruce, I want them to have a happy home. And, yeah, I sure as hell agree that the manor might not be the best choice, but I’m off doing my own thing just as much as you are. At the very least, Alfred— ……. What would’ve been good for both of you was to not sign the papers in the first place. You’re still healing, and they need someone who can be there for them. ……. No. No, they’re already here. I’ll stay true to my word, B, but they can’t stay here forever; you know that. It’s just not healthy for all of us. ……. Yeah, I know. I’ll do my best. Look, I gotta figure out what I’m gonna make this kid for dinner.”

And then, without a single goodbye exchanged, the call went dead.

So, yeah. Richard Grayson didn’t really like you.

Which was fine. Really, it was. You weren’t even his sibling by law, as you learned from Alfred that Bruce technically never even adopted him, yet here he was being asked to take care of you, a reminder that he can’t escape Bruce Wayne or Batman no matter how hard he tries. While you were still learning the full situation (again, your filthy rich adoptive father is fucking BATMAN), what you already knew didn’t paint a pretty picture. Honestly, you didn’t blame Richard Grayson for being a little spiteful towards you. It did make sense.

You just wish it didn’t make you feel so… unwanted.

“How was school, kiddo?”

A questioning hum was startled from your vocal chords. The car ride had been so silent, you found yourself lost in your own thoughts, almost forgetting that you were buckled into the passenger seat of Richard’s — Dick’s, rather; he told you to call him Dick the day you moved in — older, copper-colored car. After taking a few moments to collect yourself, you threw your temporary guardian a glance only to find he was pointedly staring at you (which was concerning, as he was driving).

“Uh…” your voice faltered a bit, forcing you to cough in your fist. “It was alright.”

His eyes lingered on you for a bit longer before returning to the road ahead. You thought that was the end of the conversation, but then he spoke up again. “Did you learn anything?”

A bit of an awkward thing to ask, but at least he was trying. “Factoring in algebra. And I guess a little about the Mongol Empire.”

“Factoring,” he said with distaste. “Wasn’t a fan of that. Though it didn’t really help that I had the worst algebra teacher. Ended up with a 70 in that class by some miracle.” A small beat of silence. “Do anything fun with friends?”

You grimaced. Though you tried your best not let it show, you knew Dick probably caught it through the rear-view mirror. “I, uh, haven’t made any friends yet.”

“It’s already October,” he skeptically stated with a quirked brow.

“I know. It’s just…” you clutched your book bag closer to your chest. “It was my first day here, so… gotta make new friends.”

“… Oh.”

As much as you wanted to dryly chortle at his reaction, you refrained. It probably wasn’t his fault he didn’t know about being transferred from Gotham to Blüdhaven Academy, since Bruce apparently had a habit of keeping people out of the loop with things. For all you know, Dear Ol’ Daddy Bats just gave Dick an address and said, "drop off at 9, pick up at 3:30," leaving your pseudo-older brother to fill in the blanks from there (“this is an address to a school, so I’m assuming this is where they go to school,” or something like that).

So, all you could do was shrug. “Yeah.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his jaw tighten. He seemed to be deliberating on something, eyes burning holes through his windshield as he let out a sigh. “So, guessing you have no one to stay with for the night?”

“Stay with?” You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean, stay with?”

“Well, I’m gonna be out tonight,” he explained, his tone sounded a bit exasperated. “Can’t just leave you on your own. Do any friends from your old school live near by?”

You were at a loss for words. He wanted you to stay with someone? For the entire night? “Wait, hold on… you just wanna dump me at a friend’s house anytime you do your hero shit—?”

“Not sure if you’ve noticed, kiddo, but we’re in Blüdhaven,” he spat at you. “And my apartment isn’t exactly in the nicest part of town.”

“But— it’ll be fine, ‘cuz you have a Bat-level security system,” you protested.

His grip got tighter on the steering wheel. “Doesn’t matter. You’re used to the manor, not street-level crime, kid.”

“I grew up in Gotham,” you retorted. “I’ve known street-level crime way longer than I’ve known the manor.” Before he could say something to that, you beat him to it by following up with, “and besides, all my friends from Gotham live in areas that are just as bad as your apartment. Wasn’t all that popular with the socialite kids with mansions, you know.”

No response for several seconds. Dick’s expression was far from pleasant, and you were starting to worry if you were getting yourself into some sort of trouble. Eventually, however, he let out a frustrated sigh, his cold eyes snapping towards your figure. “You make one hell of an argument, kiddo. But listen. We’ve gotta go over home-alone rules when we’re back to the apartment, alright? I don’t want anything happening to you under my watch.”

“Fine by me,” you shrugged.

The conversation was then dropped.

A small smile started to bloom on your face. He really thought he could rid of you like that, didn’t he? You knew he didn’t really like you, but using it’s not safe as an excuse to a Gothamite? Really? Yeah, that’s a bunch of bogus.

… Though, you had to admit, it was nice that he at least sounded considerate.

You woke up to the sounds of disgruntlement coming from the living area.

It wasn’t too loud, as you couldn’t exactly comprehend what was being said, but it was loud make you realize the disgruntled party was extremely ticked by something. Getting out of bed, you put your ear to the door for better listening.

“I already told you, I can’t. I’ve been leaving this kid home alone far too often for my liking. ……. Where, Roy?! Where can they stay?! Bruce isn’t in the right headspace to have another kid in the manor, and— ow, fuck— it’s not like they have any friends to crash with for the night! ……. Transferred schools. Would’ve been nice if Bruce said something about that, but— ……. Said their Gotham friends live in areas just as bad. Besides, there’s no way in hell I’m letting them step foot back into that hellhole without me being there. ……. ‘Cuz it’s fucking Gotham, Roy! It’s only city in the world that has a death by killer clown statistic!!”

Ah. Another phone call. Dick had been making a lot of those, recently. You never knew who was on the other line, except if it was Bruce or (by rare chance) Alfred, but you had a general idea that it was always one of his super hero friends. Not very many people casually talked about beating up thugs and criminals, after all.

“No— absolutely not. Bruce would be pissed if he found out!! He’d think I’m trying to make them into my sidekick or something, and god knows what happens to them after that. I’ve been through the system, Roy. While I’m not too keen on keeping a kid around, putting them back there is not an option. ……. They’re just— safer in my apartment than anywhere else right now. I can’t have anything happening to them. Not after Jason. Bruce would never forgive me, and I— I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. ……. I’m sorry, Roy. Maybe next time. ……. Yeah. Tell the other Titans I’m thinking about them, okay? ……. Yeah, good luck tonight. Try not to show up on the news. ……. Yup. See you.”

Your ears picked up on a low beep, heralding the end of the call. As Dick let out a string of curses, you couldn’t help but feel… empty. You were more than just a pain in the ass for Dick; you were a full-blown problem. It wasn’t just the fact that you were keeping him from having hero fun. Even if he wasn’t all that fond of you, he still considered you his responsibility, and seemed genuinely worried about your safety when he wasn’t there. You were under the impression that he went out at night to forget you existed, but…

Jason…

Jason was a name you were only vaguely familiar with, usually used as a heavy blow in a Dick v. Bruce argument. While you don’t exactly know the full context, Alfred did make mention once of a kid who lived in Wayne Manor before you (the one who is “no longer with us,” as the butler solemnly said), and upon stumbling into the Batcave by accident, some of the only coherent mutterings he offered were, “Jason,” and “no, not again.”

Again, you didn't know the full context, but it's easy to put together the pieces from there.

A particularly loud curse from the other side of the door brought you back to reality. You at first wondered if you should go out there and make sure your current guardian-figure was okay, but you decided against it, as A.) he was probably just patching himself up from a particularly rough skirmish, and B.) he didn't seem like he was in the mood to see you. Besides, with your thoughts on this Jason kid, you didn't know if you had enough self-control to keep your burning questions locked away on your tongue.

So, instead, you decided to lay back down in your bed, brainstorming ideas to get Dick to talk about Jason.

This was… kind of a terrible way to ask.

Sure, you were curious. The thought had been haunting your thoughts since Bruce’s breakdown, and being out of the loop was slowly eating away at your mind. But maybe you could’ve been less… abrupt… and given Dick a little bit more time to be mentally prepared. It was an extremely sensitive topic, after all, and you knew even he was healing from the aftermath.

You hoped he understood your question wasn’t just morbid curiosity; Jason’s death is in-part the reason you’re here, after all.

Dick stared at you across from the dinner table. His fork had a few pieces of macaroni skewered one the prongs, half-raised to be shoveled into his mouth. Blue eyes stared right through you, blinking owlishly as he presumably tried to process what the fuck you just asked him. All you could do was hunch into yourself in your seat, mentally scolding yourself for how fucking rude your question probably was. Painfully long seconds ticked by with no sort of response, and you eventually decided that the best course of action was to do some preemptive damage control.

“You— actually, you don’t have to answer,” you weakly sputtered. “I’m so sorry, that’s— that was so uncalled for. I’m really sorry, Dick.”

He set his fork down. “No, it’s fine. I’m just… did Bruce not— he never told you?”

You shook your head.

“… Ah,” was his reply. His eyes wandered towards the window, an unreadable expression falling onto his face. He seemed a bit… lost. Which was understandable, as you didn’t exactly give him prep time for a conversation like this. You gave him as much time as he needed to put his thoughts in order.

Finally, he gave an answer. “Killed in action. Ended up in the hands of the Joker, and… well, he didn’t come home. No Robin ever since.”

The flat tone that carved through his words caused your hair to stand on end. He kept the details vague, but you didn’t find yourself minding all that much. If the Joker was involved, it probably wasn’t that much of a lovely story. “So, he was Robin after you?”

A hum of confirmation came from Dick. “The mantle was open, since I took up a new name. After finding out that Bruce was Batman, he practically begged to be trained as Robin.” He slowly brought the fork to his mouth. “That’s what Bruce said, anyway.”

It was then you noticed the silverware rattling from some sort of rhythmic thumping. After a few moments, you realized it was from your knee hitting against the table, causing you to will your legs to stay still. “Um…” you cleared your throat. “Were you… close with Jason?”

“I mean, we were friendly.” He still neglected to make eye contact with you. “I tried to be a good example to him, but I was busy doing my own thing here.” His gaze dropped to the linoleum floor. “Didn’t spend enough time with him.”

A heavy pressure crushed down on your chest. While you didn’t know Jason personally, you were no stranger to the concept of loss, and the more you learned about his death, the more your current situation was starting to make sense. Jason discovered Bruce was Batman. He wanted to be Robin, and Bruce let him. Then he died as Robin. Bruce’s adopted son died on the field, in the costume.

So, after you found out Bruce was Batman… it probably felt all too familiar.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” you practically whispered.

Dick only sighed. “It’s alright, kiddo.” Finally, he raised his eyes to look at you. “Say, how are you doing in that chemistry class?”

… Huh?

The abrupt change in subject was… interesting. But definitely understandable, as talking about Jason’s death probably wasn’t all too pleasant. Guilt started to eat away at your conscious, the thought of making Dick uncomfortable by reminding him of his grief and regrets making your heart feel heavy. So, you merely offered a shrug and said, “uh… I’m doing fine.”

“Thought you were having trouble with valence equations,” he mused.

You could only dumbly stare at him. Okay… this was new territory. Sure, he always asked how school was while picking you up, but this was the first time he’s talked about it at dinner. Then again, this is the first time you two have talked at dinner period, since most dinners were spent eating in total silence, so maybe he was just trying to cleanse the awkward air that you created from randomly inquiring about Jason (because you can't do anything right, apparently).

So, ignoring the warmth that swirled in your chest at the thought of him actually caring about your life outside of the polite, seemingly obligatory after-school exchanges, you indulged.

Blüdhaven nights weren’t all that different from Gotham’s. They could get noisy, the sounds of the city mixing together into one cacophony. You’ve learned how to sleep through it all, and it’s not like it’s all high energy for the entire night; around 1 in the morning, there’s a lull in activity that yields little to no sounds to disturb your slumber. Some would even call this hour the most peaceful that places like Gotham and Blüdhaven can get, despite all of the dubious activities that are probably happening.

So, something like the sound of a window sliding opening is enough to disturb this peace.

It was your window. It sounded like it was right in your room, so it had to be your window. You stayed as petrified as a statue in your bed, the fog of sleepiness immediately airing out of your brain from your nervous system screaming, holy shit, someone is opening my window. Well, maybe, if you continued to stay still, they wouldn’t recognize the obvious lump in the bed, take whatever the fuck they wanted, and be on their merry way. With any luck, Dick was done doing his hero shit, and the unfortunate sap breaking into the apartment would have a run-in with Nightwing.

That’s when a your bed began to creak from a new weight being added to it.

… Ah, shit.

You didn’t move. There was no way in hell you were moving. Even if the intruder seemingly knew you were there, you could do nothing else but stay stagnant in place, waiting for them to make the next move. Maybe, if they touch you, you could swing your arm to hit them and catch them by surprise. That might give you enough time to run, find Dick’s room, and pray to god he’s home. If not, then you could at least lock yourself in his room and hold out until he does.

Your thoughts were cut short when a familiar voice rang out.

“You didn’t lock your window.”

… That bastard—!!

Relief crashed through your body like a tidal wave. A heavy breath tumbled out of your lips — one that you didn’t even know you were holding in — which alleviated the growing pressure in your chest. Now that you could feel your limbs again, you willed away the shiver that wanted to travel through your body as you turned to face this so-called intruder. “Kind of an unconventional way to come home, don’t you think?”

Your eyes met the pearly white lenses of a domino mask. The shadowy figure sitting on your bed had his arms crossed over the unmistakable azure symbol of Nightwing, which, oddly enough, had an intriguing iridescent shimmer under the moonlight. Huh… none of the cameras really pick up that detail, you mentally noted, glancing back and forth between the contrast of matte black and shiny blue. You were no professional superhero costume critic, but it was a nice little touch.

Dick’s tired sigh snapped you out of your thoughts. It was a grim reminder that — oh, yeah — you’re about to get chewed out by your vigilante kind-of-older-brother… at an ungodly hour. “Kid,” he began, the chastising tone you were becoming more and more acquainted with lacing every word, “you can’t keep forgetting to lock everything like that. What if I was some crook, or kidnapper, or worse?”

“Good thing it was just Nightwing coming through my window to give me a heart attack,” you humorlessly mused.

Though you couldn’t see underneath the mask, you knew he was giving you that one unamused stare you’re all too familiar with. “(Y/N), I’m serious. This is about your safety, your life, even. If something bad happens while I’m out, I won’t be able to protect you. For god’s sake, kid. I could be on the other side of Blüdhaven while you’re getting taken, or murdered, or whatever!!” He took a moment to heave another sigh. “Just… promise me you’ll lock your window next time, alright? Please.”

All you could do was wordlessly nod. After taking some time to process what he was saying, you admittedly felt bad. He was right; neglecting to lock your window like that could very well mean death in Blüdhaven. It’s not like growing up in Gotham is any different, so you knew this fact very well. Maybe your time at the manor caused you to become less careful, as it’s unlikely any criminals are hitting up the Wayne residence anytime soon; and it’s not like any of them know about the Bat-level security, either.

A springy click echoed through your room, and you looked up to see Dick inspecting your window (you’ve long stopped questioning how he just teleports like that). After deeming it to be safe, he softly padded towards your door. His hand was on the knob, but he seemed a bit hesitant to turn it. Then, almost as an afterthought, he looked at you over his shoulder and said, “goodnight, kiddo.”

“… Goodnight,” you mumbled.

He was out the door.

Click.

Now alone in your room, you could finally replay what just happened. Dear Big Bro Dickybird just gave you the scare of a lifetime, chastised you about being irresponsible, and left to assumingly go to bed (though you’re not sure if that man actually sleeps or not). The conversation — well, more like lecture — played in your mind, repeating on loop like a broken record… because of course your mind wanted to make you feel guiltier than you already did.

That’s when something weird stuck out to you.

“You can’t keep forgetting to lock everything like that.”

… Keep?

As far as you knew, that was your first time actually forgetting…

So... how did he know?

Thwack.

Before you could even begin to register whatever the fuck just hit your forehead, a teasingly dry voice rang out from above. “Your handwriting really sucks, y'know."

With furrowed brows to showcase your confusion, you forced yourself to sit upright on the couch. A small notepad fell from your chest to the floor, the pages sprawled out from the metal spiral to reveal your list of things you wanted from the store. “I was writing fast,” you grumbled.

"Sure you were," cooed Dick with a less-than-friendly smirk. He then cocked his head to the side, arms crossing over his chest. "Wanted a change of scenery or something?"

You felt your face scrunch up. "What does that mean?"

"You usually watch your dumb little YouTube videos in your room," he explained. "Not sprawled out on my couch."

Honestly, you weren't even going to question how he knew that. Maybe it was that dumb Bat-detective intuition, or the fact that you probably need to start turning the volume on your phone down a notch (thin walls, remember?). Rolling your eyes, you situated yourself so that you were once again lounging comfortably on the couch. "Trying to tell me something, bucko?"

"Yeah, actually." Before you knew it, you were being ripped away from the cushions, an indignant yelp leaving your lips as you dangled mid-air from your legs. You had to adjust to your new upside-down view in order to throw Dick an incredulous glare. The bastard merely offered a shit-eating grin, simply stating, "get off my couch."

"... Could've just told me that," you spat out.

He began to walk you out of the living room. "You wouldn't of listened."

"Wha-- I totally would've!"

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Whatever retort you wanted to throw at him dissolved into a heavy OOMF as he dropped you onto the floor. You found yourself glaring up at him once more as he swiped invisible dust off of his hands, giving you a champion smirk before heading back in the living. You managed to orient yourself into an awkward squat just in time to see him confidently throw himself into the couch cushions.

That asshole just kicked you out of your spot.

You were not about to let that slide.

With an animalistic yell, you began to gallop — yes, gallop; it was a weird mix of running and crawling, as you were already on the floor — at him full speed. He barely had time to react to your charge (as you victoriously noted from his surprised OOF as you pounced on him), and within seconds, the both of you were locked into a fight to the death. Dick might've had the upper hand when it came to combat technique, but what you lacked in experience, you made up in dedication as you tried your damned hardest to push him off of the couch.

"Hey," he wheezed out. "Quit it, you little freak!!"

"You quit it," was your breathy reply. "I was here first!!"

"But it's my couch!!"

"Didn't see you using it!!"

"Just 'cuz I was getting your dumbass groceries!!"

"You were out for a whole-ass hour!!"

Despite giving it your all, the battle was beginning to turn against you as Dick managed to wrestle your upper body between his forearm and bicep. He eventually managed to pin your viciously kicking legs under his arm, and looking back on it, the scene probably looked reminiscent of a zookeeping holding down a trashing crocodile. This didn't deter you however, as you began to gnaw at his forearm, drawing a sound of disgust from your captor. "I had to spend, like, 30 minutes trying to decipher your shit handwriting," he scoffed. "Now can you just accept defeat and stop biting me!?"

You tried to respond with something along the lines of, "not until you give me my spot back," but it came out as garbled nonsense with your mouth full of his forearm. He aggressively told you to repeat yourself (probably under the pretense that you were giving him some major lip), and during the time you relieved his skin of your teeth to say something much worse than you initially did, a cheerful little tune began to play from Dick's pocket.

"... Hold that thought," he murmured.

Respectfully, you kept still and allowed him to use one of his hands to fish his phone out of his hoodie (you thought about using this as an opportunity to escape, but that would go against the unspoken rules of battle). He squinted his eyes to read the caller ID, only to heave a frustrated groan. “Bruce,” he curtly informed you. You were about to ask if he wanted some privacy, when he suddenly released you from his hold and sent you careening towards the ground. So, taking that as an answer, you scrambled off of the floor and headed towards your room, phone somehow materializing in your hand in the process.

From your room, the call sounded so faint.

… Maybe the walls weren’t as thin as you initially thought they were.

You let out a jet of hot air through your teeth. “The hell is taking him so long?”

The time was 3:50, but Dick’s old car was nowhere to be seen in your school’s parking lot. You shot hit a text 5 minutes ago that has yet to be read, and if you were being honest, you were more anxious than annoyed. Dick was never late to pick-up. Late to drop-off, sure (there was one time you showed up to school at 11:25 due to him sleeping in from a late-night drug bust, and you got the pleasure of making up an embarrassing excuse at the expense of Dick’s pride to the front office), but never pick-up.

So, this meant one of two things; he’s finally forgotten about you, or there’s an emergency.

Just as you were debating on checking the local news, your phone buzzed in your hand, screen lighting up to reveal a message from Bastard. You could feel your apprehension melting away as you unlocked your phone to read his message:

robbery going on

… Ah. That explains the spike in police siren activity going on around you.

You were about to shoot him a classic, “what the fuck” text, but his typing bubble popped up. After a second, another message followed:

gonna be late

Okay, now you decided to send your, “what the fuck.”

The read status under your text didn’t show up until a few minutes later (because that’s what you needed in this moment; more anxiety), and he immediately got to typing.

sorry kiddo

stay put

be there in a sec

Your shaky fingers managed to type him a message along the lines of, “be careful, good luck,” which was left unread by him. A snake of apprehension began to squeeze at your lungs, making it harder and harder to breathe. You had to force yourself to suck in a good bit of air to calm your nerves. Maybe he was just busy kicking some ass, that’s all. He’s stopping a whole-ass robbery from happening, so it’s not like he can keep up with your messages. Besides, he told you he would be there “in a sec,” so he’s probably wrapping everything up now.

Calm down, (Y/N), you scolded yourself. Your brother is Nightwing. He’ll be fine.

That’s when you witnessed an explosion light up the sky.

It was distant, but big enough to send a low rumble through the ground. You watched in absolute horror as the violent orange and yellow dissipated from behind the cityscape, leaving an inky trail of smoke behind as its calling card. More and more sirens of different origins — police, fire, ambulance — were overlapping in a terrible harmony, though it was hard to process from the brazen ringing in your ears, clogging your brain out from the outside world.

Oh, shit.

What if that was—?!

You desperately fumbled with your phone, unlocking it to reveal your still unread message to Dick. You were hoping for some sort of sorry about that text, or at the very least to see his typing bubble, but you were met with radio silence. Apprehension became pure fear when your thoughts began to race. Something bad happened to Dick. There’s no way in hell an explosion happened coincidentally, so something bad just happened.

Not good, not good, not good at all…!!

It took longer than you wanted to get your fingers to type something:

Dick??

Dick, you okay??

I saw that, are you okay??

Dick??

Dick??

… Nothing.

You resorted to calling him.

… Beeeeeeeeep…

… Beeeeeeeeep…

… Beeeeeeeeep…

“Come on,” you muttered. “Come on, come on, come on, pick up—!!”

… Beeeeeeeep…

…

“Hey, you’ve reached the voice mail of Dick Grayson, just shoot me a text and I’ll—”

You hung up.

This was bad. This was so bad. Something bad is happening, and you’re not even sure if Dick’s okay. Hell, you saw how big that explosion was. Is he even fucking alive?!

You couldn’t help but utter a watery, “no…”

You’re not going through this again.

Without a second to spare, your legs began to carry you forward in a full sprint. You weren’t exactly sure where the explosion went off, and it’s not like you’re all that familiar with Blüdhaven just yet to know where any possible candidates for a robbery could be, but you followed the smoke pillars like a beacon, gauging how close you were based on the surrounding sirens. People stood like statues on the sidewalks to ogle at evidence of destruction wafting through the sky, and no cars dared to run you over as you cut through the streets.

“Come on, Dick,” you said between huffs. “Please— please be okay..!!”

He had to be okay.

You couldn’t lose someone else in your life.

[mandydontknow]

Ik Dan has joked before that Phannies are scholars, and he is absolutely right. In 2021 I wrote a college gender studies final on Dan and Phil real-people queer baiting and whether it can ever be done intentionally.

Here are my favorite excerpts:

“As influencer culture grows, their audiences grow apprehensive of what may pass as in-real-life queerbaiting…In his coming-out video, "Basically, I'm Gay," Youtube celebrity Dan Howell explains the context of his relationship with the other half of the iconic internet duo "Dan and Phil."… he is quick to follow with a statement about his and Phil's preference to keep their personal life "private" for people that share their lives on the internet (Basically, I’m Gay). While respecting Dan and Phil’s reasoning for remaining closeted at the height of their Youtube careers, it is to be acknowledged that the duo profited on the speculative nature of their homosexual behaviors of their online public relationship. Along with Dan Howell's content, which deprecated his insecurities and mental illness, and AmazingPhil which was light and fun, Dan and Phil engaged a massive community of LGBTQ+ through the display of their closeted sexualities which caused constant, inevitable speculation. “

“Dan and Phil’s Youtube personas and scheduled live streams created parasocial relationships between themselves and their audience. A parasocial relationship is defined as the “pseudo-intimacy” developed between an “audience and media personalities,” often taking the role of a good friend (Ramassuen)…Social and physical attraction are shown to have a positive relationship regarding their importance to parasocial relationships (Kurtin). Dan and Phil’s majority demographic, at the time, were teenage girls; fans often labelled themselves based on who they found more attractive: “Dan” or “Phil” girls…Dan and Phil, although promoting a platform where they “took responsibility” for their fans through a parasocial relationship (Green), benefitted from remaining sexually ambiguous as their fan base, it could be argued, was attracted to either member of the pair.”

“Dan and Phil's 2016 USA tour, "The Amazing Tour is Not On Fire,” contained a segment where they enacted fanfiction on stage based on the audience's reaction to pre-scripted scenarios. During the show, Dan and Phil performed two blatantly homoerotic sketches which cut-off before any physical explicitness. In this situation, the duo is relying on the homosexual subtext of their relationship to please their viewership…If Dan and Phil were to kiss as part of their stage show, their fans may have considered it their “coming-out.” "The Amazing Tour is Not On Fire" is just one example where they took advantage of their crowd’s obsession with the nature of their relationship while keeping the door of the closet locked for safety (from their audience and from themselves).”

“From video titles such as “Giving the People What They Want,” which features a thumbnail of Dan holding Phil’s shoulders and smiling widely, “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other,” and “Taste Our Rainbows,” there are numerous examples of the duo intentionally teasing their homosexuality and showcasing their emotional closeness. On the topic of queerbaiting, Crystal Abidin says“ Vlogs in which not-(yet)-out Influencers display 'homosocial tactility' (Morris and Anderson [26], 1201) and overt discursive intimacies with same-sex Influencers are sometimes deliberate attempts to fan viewer speculations about an Influencer's sexuality”(Abidin)…fans scrutinized the often suggestive way the pair would look at each other which they dubbed “Heart-eyes Howell” and “Love-eyes Lester.” Inevitably, opportunities to engage in speculation of the nature of the pair’s relationship increased the overall attention Dan and Phil were receiving toward their Youtube content.”

“While it may or may not be deliberate, the pair was certainly aware of the advantages of all the queer speculation brought to their careers. In Dan’s 2016 “Diss Track,” a song about his flaws, he says “the only reason you get views is because you’re another white guy that people ship with his friend because they think it’s [cute]”…In this case, Dan is making unintentional, but self-aware gains from teasing his sexuality through self-deprication while also shutting down the possibility of a romance with his roommate, Phil.”

“I LGBTQ+ youth are more likely to experience mental health hardships as well as loneliness at a young age…In a livestream in the early 2010s, Phil accuses Dan’s fans of being dark as opposed to his which love suns and lions. In response, Dan accurately explains that they are the same fans, but that they particularly express themselves more openly with him. There is an argument to be made that Dan and Phil’s audience strongly consisting of LGBTQ+ youth is a result of their open expression of their other attributes - awkwardness, anxiety, introvertedness, and depression, rather than specifically their queerness. Their friendship is what links the pair together and adds excitement for the audience.”

“Dan Howell’s coming-out video is a 45 minute docu-short which tells a vulnerable story of his history with bullying, the word gay, and his sexual orientation on the internet…[In the video, Dan] disapproves of “aggressive speculating” or “forced outing” for the purpose of entertainment, as there could be infinite, valid reasons why an assumed LGBTQ+ person is not out (Basically, I’m Gay)…sharing the story of a difficult journey with his queerness and intimacies with his internet partner on supports the argument that Dan and Phil could not be “queerbaiting,” as queerbaiting is taking deliberate actions to draw-in LGBT+ audiences while safeguarding from homophobia. Any of their actions that may be perceived as queerbaiting was an accidental and inevitable result of the true nature of Dan and Phil’s relationship and online content they created that happened to resonate with young queer people at the time.”

“Reflecting their young gay audience, it took time for Dan and Phil to grow comfortable with their sexual orientations…The pairing of Dan and Phil on-screen inevitably —as if it were a consequence for existing as queer men online in a trial period— “queer-baited,” in an untraditional context, the audience as the content is homoerotic without the disclosure of sexual orientation that the duo ultimately benefitted from to their knowledge.”