#my promo skills fucking peaked here guys

[tracksdowna]

𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐓, 𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐘. 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 — 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐊.

[fromtheringapron]

ECW CyberSlam 1996

Date: February 17, 1996

Location: ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 

Attendance: 1,300.

Commentary: Joey Styles.

Results:

1. The Bad Crew (Dog and Rose) and Judge Dredd defeated The Dirt Bike Kid, Dino Sendoff, and Don E. Allen.

2. Spiros Greco defeated El Puerto Riqueno. 

3. Taz (with Bill Alfonso) defeated Joel Hartgood.

4. Buh Buh Ray Dudley (with Big Dick Dudley, Dances with Dudley, and Sign Guy Dudley) defeated Mr. Hughes.

5. The Bruise Brothers (Don and Ron) defeated The Headhunters (Headhunter A and Headhunter B).

6. J.T. Smith defeated Axl Rotten. 

7. Dog Collar Match: Francine and The Pitbulls (Pitbull #1 and Pitbull #2) defeated Stevie Richards and The Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus). 

8. ECW World Television Championship Match: 2 Cold Scorpio (champion) fought Sabu to a time limit draw. 

9. Shane Douglas defeated Cactus Jack.

10. ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Raven (champion) (with Kimona Wanalaya, Stevie Richards, and The Blue Meanie) defeated The Sandman.  

Analysis

The 1996 edition of CyberSlam is all over the place in terms of quality so, as a result, my feelings on it are all over the place as well. There’s no doubt ECW is hitting its stride at this point. They’ve firmly established themselves as the alternative to the then PG WWF and WCW, and taking as many shots at both whenever the opportunity arises. They’ve also solidified a devoted, passionate fanbase. I don’t think the ECW crowds have aged particularly well, mind you. For every moment when their participation helps the show, there’s a bunch of other moments when they’re kinda obnoxious and give off a certain brand of testosterone-fueled white male rage that later became one of the worst byproducts of the WWF’s Attitude Era.

The first hour of the show is mostly unwatchable garbage. In a way, you can see in the first hour the chaotic, car-crash booking that the Attitude Era would later make mainstream, with its short matches and constant interruptions. I really do appreciate ECW’s complete aversion to the structure that’d grown stale in both the WWF and WCW. The only problem, however, is that it’s not well-done for what it’s trying to achieve. It’s just a mess, and not in a fun way. There is some interest in watching Taz in the early stages of his push, but you could fast-forward through most of the hour and be fine. And I don’t recommend the fast-forward button often.  

So it’s funny that for as dreadful as it can be, the first hour also features the show’s best and most memorable moment: the surprise debut of Brian Pillman. Few wrestlers have seemed as legitimately unhinged and dangerous as Pillman. His promo here is filled with all the usual Bischoff-bashing that everyone in ECW did at some point, but there’s more believability when he does it. When he threatens the audience that he’ll yank out his dick and piss in the ring, I totally believe it. I am wholly convinced that is something Pillman would do in real life (and if some shoot interviews are to be believed, he totally did). The whole bit with him attacking the fan, who is obviously a plant, is at once a bit too over-the-top but, again. It wouldn’t surprise me if the real Pillman got in trouble for the same thing. This is also one of those moments where the ECW crowd helps more than it hinders, because you can tell they’re completely buying into it too.

The show finds its groove in the second hour. The 2 Cold Scorpio/Sabu match is considered an ECW classic. At the risk of sounding incredibly weird, something about the match reminds me of when I’d hold matches with my wrestling figures as a kid, in which I’d have the figures pull out all these ridiculous maneuvers without any consideration of building a story. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing because much like those matches I’d hold as a kid, it’s a lot of fun, even if the time limit draw is kinda deflating. We’re also given a glimpse at Cactus Jack, whose anti-hardcore heel persona remains a high point for ECW. Foley, at his peak, is unrivaled when it comes to character work. He shows up here for his match with Shane Douglas wearing a cheap suit, but it’s amazing how he can wring out pathos from the most gimmicky of ideas. It’s a skill that comes in handy when he jumps skip to the WWF a month later to portray his most famous persona, Mankind.  

So, yes, it’s hard to sum up my overall feelings on a show this erratic, but that’s pretty much ECW in a nutshell. The promotion had to make do with what they had which could result in a product that ran the gamut from piss poor to fun and, at times, brilliant. Fortunately, in their peak years, they hit the latter quite often.

My Random Notes 

A man can be seen in the front row wearing a Confederate flag shirt. Wonder if he regrets that now. Probably not.

The Dirt Bike Kid totally sounds like a gimmick the WWF would’ve done around the same time period.

Tons of WCW and WWF bashing here, which is expected. But I can’t help but notice the irony in how many ECW guys later jumped ship to those promotions anyway, mainly because Paul Heyman most likely paid them like shit.

There is some red substance on the floor at some point and I’m not sure if it’s from JT Smith throwing a pizza or not but, either way, it bothers me.

One little detail I love is the ECW fans bringing their own props to the show for the wrestlers to use. Huge fan of that kind of audience participation.

I dig the spot where JT Smith plays possum by making it look as if he botched a move off the top-rope. Totally playing into the ECW crowd’s typical “You fucked up” chants and turning them on its head.

The opener may feature some of the most obscure wrestlers that I’ve ever covered on this blog. Any Dino Sendoff fans willing to give me more details on his storied career?

I’ve been trying to determine who the planted fan in the Pillman segment looks like and the closest I can think of at the moment is either Disney’s Pepper Ann or Boomer from the Burger King Kid’s Club, neither whom aren’t even that close in resemblance.

Raven and The Sandman botch a move so badly toward the end of their match that I literally laughed out loud. I guess even in its prime, there were moments where ECW could still feel like your garden variety shit indy.