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carolap53 · 2 years ago

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July 28, 2022

Did You Get Hit With Hard News Recently? Read This LYSA TERKEURST

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“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” John 14:6 (NIV)

A couple years ago, I was already in such a hard season, and in the moment my doctor said, “Lysa, I’m so sorry, but you have cancer,” everything around me got incredibly quiet and seemed to move very slowly.

I could hear the doctor continuing to talk, but I couldn’t make out his words. I could feel words trying to form in my mouth, but there was no energy to actually speak. I knew I should probably cry, but no tears seemed available.

I am absolutely a woman who believes with all her heart that the presence of God is in the midst of her life. But in that moment, He felt distant and mysterious. I just felt stunned. And then I felt OK. And then I felt stunned again. I wanted to hold it together. But then falling apart seemed quite reasonable.

It’s scary when doctors shock you with test results, and you don’t know what the future holds.

But during that time, God had so many people share simple words that became powerful revelations reminding me how very near God was to me. I think times of desperation often lead us to great revelations if we make the choice to look for and be open to them each day.

One example is an email I got from my friend Shaunti Feldhahn. Her note said, “Lysa, this is news. This is not truth.”

Wow. I’ve always thought of news and truth as one and the same.

What the doctor gave me was news. Honest news, based on test results and medical facts. But I have access to a Truth that transcends news. What is impossible with human limitations is always possible for a limitless God. Truth factors God into the equation.

So I find myself looking at the word "impossible" a little differently today. “Impossible,” in light of Shaunti’s note, could be completely different if I just stick an apostrophe between the first two letters. Then it becomes I’m Possible. God is the great I Am. Therefore, He is my possibility for hope and healing.

Maybe you just got some bad news. News of an impossible financial situation. News of an impossible family situation. News of an impossible job situation. News of an impossible friend situation. News of an impossible medical situation. News of an impossible global situation. Whatever news you just got or will get, I pray my friend’s advice helps you too. What you've heard is news, and this is God’s Truth:

I AM MAKING A WAY. “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

I AM FOREVER FAITHFUL. “He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them—he remains faithful forever.” (Psalm 146:6, NIV)

I AM HOLDING YOU. “Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.” (Psalm 73:23, NIV)

One of the greatest comforts to me, no matter what I’m facing, is knowing that, somehow, God will use it for good. God will be my possible in the midst of what can sometimes feel so impossible.

Of course, I still have those less spiritually secure moments when I feel like I’m sinking into a consuming fear of the unknown. But that’s when I’m so thankful for the One who will absolutely “guide me in [His] truth and teach me” (Psalm 25:5, NIV).

I’m so sorry for whatever it is you’re going through today that’s making the tears flow and your heart sink. I’m praying for you today, my friend. I’m praying that every time the word “impossible” creeps up and starts to steal your hope, you will see the words I’m Possible and hold on to the great I Am. Our God will help us through any news we get and remind us of what’s ultimately true.

God, You are I Am, I’m Possible. You are the Way, the Truth and the Life, and You are forever faithful. Help me lean on these truths when the news I receive feels impossible. In my home, in my family and in my circumstances, I trust You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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impracticaldemon · 7 years ago

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Know your favorite author:A. Name five random facts.B. Name five things that make you happy.C. Name five pet peeves.D. Using your muse or favorite character, answer the following questions:1. What makes him/her happiest?2. What is his/her biggest fear?3. Who does he/she look up to the most?4. Who does he/she dislike the most?5. What is his/her biggest failing?

Hi Anon! Thank you for asking. 😊

A. I’m tempted to literally name five random facts, but I’ll resist and assume these relate to me! 😆

1. I have a physics degree; I’m not sure why. 🤔2. I’ve taken judo, taekwondo and fencing – but that was a long time ago.3. I’ve lived in all three of Canada’s biggest cities at various times; I’ve also lived and gone to school in England, and spent a summer in Germany. 🌎4. I don’t drink coffee at all, but I do drink tea most days now. 🍵5. I own more plushies (mostly Hakuouki but also Amnesia and Fairy Tail) than is remotely reasonable. 🤗

B. Happy things!

1. Plushies, apparently. 😅2. Hot chocolate. ☕️3. Long stretches of time with nothing planned.4. Encouraging other writers (and artists too, but that’s less useful since I don’t art very well at all!!). 📖🎨5. When my husband brings me something I want without being asked it just makes my day and I feel a bit of tension disappear.

[see under the cut for more]

C. Pet Peeves

1. People who tell me that I must like dogs. I grew up with dogs, I know dogs, I don’t mind other people having dogs... but I’m not an enthusiast. (Seriously, I have a dog complex now -- all the “good�� people in books and movies etc. love dogs, so I must be morally deficient. Sigh.)2. Power outages in the middle of a 35 Celsius heat wave in the middle of your one week of vacation and all your electronics slowly die and you have to take refuge in a nearby McDonalds. (...er... maybe that’s a bit specific...)3. Caraway seeds. 4. People who “accidentally” drop garbage and then look at you defensive-apologetically, but now they’re in too much of a hurry to pick it up. (They were hoping nobody would see them...)5. The way all of my keyboards (including especially on my laptop) will periodically and for ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD REASON switch to French and suddenly I can’t use quotes, apostrophes and brackets properly. It’s such a pain.

D. Alright: Saitou/Chibi Saitou

1. Swords. (Also, Chizuru, but he’s too embarrassed to mention that.) (Also, he likes to stare at cherry blossoms, apparently. Still not as good as swords.) (Chizuru is actually better than swords, but both Saitous are blushing and glaring at me now.)2. Losing control or losing his way/direction/path.3. Hijikata-san. “Hai, Fukuchou!” (In ToD he’s finding himself looking up to Amagiri a bit and it worries him.)

4. Hmm. Kazama, probably (pick a reason, there are... quite a few). But there are a few others on the list, he just doesn’t let it show *cough* - Takeda Kanryusai - *cough*. He’s not a big fan of Sakamoto either, tbh. I’m not sure he thinks in terms of like and dislike much. He’s a very practical man/chibi in many ways and he’s afraid cautious of emotions getting in the way. He’s very loyal to certain people, he is truly concerned for their well-being etc. The rest are either “to be killed”, “not to be killed right now”, or “don’t matter”. Except Chizuru, who confuses him a lot.

5. He’s too incredibly cute and adorkable for words! Ouch! Those little chibi hands pack a punch when there are sixteen of them (at last count). Um...

He’s really, really uncomfortable with emotions. This can get him pretty messed up at times. Other times he unintentionally hurts others. Talking isn’t his strong suit either, unless it’s about work (you know, patrols, training, deflection Itou’s annoyingly pertinent questions...). Or about swords.

If he gets too wrapped up in himself he can become passive or obedient to a fault. That said, despite the cool and unemotional façade, he actually does follow his heart, and has said that he would even break with Kondou and Hijikata if he felt they were betraying their fundamental honour or principles.

He’s physically very courageous, as they all are, but sometimes his courage fails him when it comes to talking and messy emotions. He doesn’t always do the right thing in those cases, although he will eventually (and usually sooner than later).

Thanks for asking!

~ Impracticaldemon

#little demon chats #anon asks #muses #saitou #chibi saitou

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topmixtrends · 6 years ago

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FEW VICTIMS of mass murder have been as ridiculed as much as the victims of Jim Jones. The November 18, 1978 killings — in which more than 900 Americans were forced to drink a cyanide-laced punch by their preacher and his gun-toting thugs — left us with the phrase, “Don’t drink the Kool-Aid,” yet few young people are aware of its tragic origin. Tossed about by politicians, activists, and academics alike, the phrase is meant as a warning against groupthink or uncritical thought. But the phrase is doubly wrong: the residents did not drink Kool-Aid, they drank a knockoff called “Flavor Aid”; moreover, their only choice on that fatal night was death — by either poison or bullet. Leaving Jonestown alive was not an option.

In my own book, A Thousand Lives: The Untold Story of Jonestown, I trace the experiences of five people who were drawn to Jones’s progressive church, Peoples Temple, out of desperation or idealism and narrate what happened once Jones cloistered them in Guyana and brought up his idea of “revolutionary suicide” for the first time.

Likewise, Judy Bebelaar and Ron Cabral’s book, And Then They Were Gone, traces the fate of a group of teenagers who attended the progressive Opportunity II High School in San Francisco where they taught and ended up in Jonestown. (Bebelaar taught creative writing and Cabral taught journalism and coached the baseball team.) A third of the Jonestown victims were children — which makes the Kool-Aid phrase all the more odious and cruel.

Bebelaar and Cabral humanize these kids by including a selection of their poems — some of which hint at darkness — and sharing anecdotes that emphasize their buoyant adolescent spirits and dreams for the future. We can’t go back and save them from a drug-addled madman, but we can honor them by reading their poetry and learning about their small rebellions and impulses that are common to the human experience everywhere. I spoke with Bebelaar about this.

JULIA SCHEERES: Why did you write this book? I’m especially curious why you began it so long after the deaths in Jonestown.

JUDY BEBELAAR: The “why” is complicated. After the first reports of 400 dead, I felt just a crushing grief, but held some hope too: some of our students must have survived, as there were almost a thousand people in Jonestown. But over the days following November 18, the number of dead swelled to 918, and the names of so many kids we teachers knew appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle. I still have those yellowed newspaper pages. I thought of our Temple students a great deal, especially every year when November 18 neared, but nothing occurred to me that I could do. None of us at the school, I think, knew what to do with our sense of loss.

Then, in 2006, Ron called me to say he’d seen The People’s Temple, at the Berkeley Repertory Theater, the apostrophe in the title added to the official Church name to show it was the story of the Temple that belonged to its people, not Jones’s Temple. Ron thought we could write a book honoring our students in a similar way. At first, we just wanted to let people know that the kids from the Temple did not have much choice about going, and that they were much like other teenagers, except perhaps for their apparent color blindness when it came to race. That, and the fact that they were at school every day, eager to participate, unlike some of our “old students,” who had fallen into a habit of cutting, and out of the habit of doing homework. But like other young people — a reason I’ve always loved teaching — the Temple kids were full of idealism and energy. That must have been why Jones wanted so many young people in Jonestown: he needed their strength and resilience. But those first simple reasons have been transformed over the years spent working on the book.

Tell me more about Opportunity High — who were the students?

The first Opportunity High was a San Francisco public school designed by teachers who were passionate about teaching and determined to find ways to reach students who weren’t making it in regular schools. It was one of many alternative schools generated by the “free school movement” of the ’60s. Opportunity’s founding teachers, including me, came from a graduate teacher training program at UC Berkeley. Many of us had switched to education from other graduate programs because we had decided becoming a teacher was the best way to foster “change from within.” Then we planned a second school: Opportunity II was our second attempt to get the formula right.

Did the school parallel the era’s emphasis on social justice?

The staff reflected the spirit of the times, as did many of the students, who chose to come to the school not because they were in danger of dropping out, but because they wanted a different, more relevant kind of education. We took field trips and embarked on “real world” projects such as Ron’s student radio show and the Sociology class field trip to interview farm workers in Delano. Many of the kids had never been outside the city, so we took trips to places like Yosemite and Monterey. We tried to give students choices for required classes like English. For example, Native American Literature was a class students requested I teach. Ron and I published student writing in Journalism and Creative Writing classes.

You lived in the Bay Area when the Peoples Temple came to power. What was it about the times and the political climate here that allowed Jones to become so prominent a player?

People were exploring a “New Age” array of alternative spiritual paths, looking for some way back to the optimism of the ’60s as they morphed into the darker, more violent ’70s. Peoples Temple was a truly integrated church, with singing, dancing, and good works: helping seniors, participating in protests, raising money to keep a medical clinic open and supporting our PBS station, among many other projects. Much of that work was done by the young. Jones was good at charming and impressing people and had won over most of the progressive politicians in the city and the state: Willie Brown, Jerry Brown, San Francisco mayor George Moscone, to name just a few. Jane Fonda attended a Church service and sent a thank-you note. Rosalynn Carter met with Jones briefly. A huge testimonial dinner was given to honor Jones in October ’77. Angela Davis, Eldridge Cleaver, John and Phillip Burton came, as well as the mayor and state senators. Cecil Williams presented a plaque from Glide Church. Jones had convinced everyone that he and his Church brought “hope and love” (words on another plaque) to the city.

How did your new principal, Yvonne Golden, come to admire Jones as much as she obviously does in the book?

Golden had called Cecil Williams, Glide Church’s charismatic minister, her “number one” agent for social change, but after visiting Peoples Temple, announced Jones had taken that place. Jones, like Golden was a declared socialist, and she admired that, but I think she also saw his political savvy. He could bring a crowd. He could get letters written. He could bring out the vote.

And did you see anything that caused you to suspect something was wrong?

Only briefly, and then when I looked at how engaged, happy, and healthy the Temple kids seemed to be, I dismissed my doubts. Only in retrospect did some of the darkness stand out.

We teachers were used to kids who were eager to tell us when something was wrong in their lives. They trusted us and confided in us. But the Temple kids didn’t talk much about their private lives. And I think that probably, they were truly happy to be in our school, which was kind of like a family, as the church was in many ways. Only Amondo Griffith spoke of fear when he wrote, in a poem about being alone in a dark place, talking to himself, and being afraid someone might hear him “say the wrong thing.” I thought of it as his poking fun at himself. It does haunt me, that I didn’t ask him more about what he meant.

When did you realize something sinister was happening in the Temple?

The Temple kids enrolled in our school in September 1976. We didn’t begin to wonder about the church until the reports of terrible things going on behind closed doors began coming out in the summer of 1977: at first a flurry of smaller articles and then the big exposé in New West magazine. Only a few Temple students were pulled out by Jones in the spring of ’77, beginning with Stephan, his only biological son. Later I learned that Stephan was probably sent to Guyana because Jones feared Stephan would defect, as other Temple members had. Jimmy and Tim, his adopted sons, both on the baseball team, were taken next, and Mark Sly told Ron, near the end of school, that he was going — and didn’t want to. Our title comes from the fact that, over that summer, most of the Temple kids simply disappeared in a secretive exodus.

When you reached out to your former students as you were writing the book, did you learn anything about their experience in the Temple that surprised you?

Definitely! We didn’t know, for example, that Temple students weren’t allowed to make friends with the non-Temple students. I learned from two of the “old students” at Opportunity — what we came to call the non-Temple students — that at least two of the teen Church members had broken the rule, in a way that I’m sure now would have resulted in serious punishment, probably a whipping with what Jones called “the board of education,” something else we didn’t know about at the time. The two couples were more than friends: it was young love that brought them together.

The meeting place for such “Romeo and Juliet” couples was the empty art room. Mark Sly had a non-Temple girlfriend, who told me about their relationship. Another “old student,” Carl Ross, told me about his Temple girlfriend, Kimberly. Those stories are part of the book, an early indication that it is not so easy as Jones thought to cow adolescents into submission and what he once guaranteed would be the “perfect comportment” of Temple students. They were good students, always showing up unless they had an excuse from the Temple, doing their homework, contributing to class discussions, showing up for practice, working on the school paper, and writing poetry. But as teenagers, they resisted what they saw as wrong, especially when it came to love. They were finding their ways to the selves they imagined they would be.

Yes, I see that in their poems and the prose they wrote. What can we learn from their writing about their dreams and their fears?

Even more than most kids I have taught, idealism and a belief in the possibility of a world without racism, sexism, or ageism was part of what many Temple kids wrote about. For example, two Temple kids in my reading class, Cornelius Truss and Vance White, wrote a letter to Theodore Taylor, the author of The Cay. It’s the story of an elderly black man who saves the life of a young white boy. Although the boy was raised in a racist household, he comes to love the man. I do have Taylor’s beautiful letter in answer to the kids, who were best buddies, and it’s in the book. They asked him if he thought a world without racism was possible, and how it might come to be. He told them he believed it was, and that he counted on young people like themselves.

There were poems about love too, and loss — and romantic descriptions of a tropical wilderness. We teachers knew little about Jonestown then, but Jones had been rhapsodizing about life in Guyana to his flock. One of our students, Joyce, was one of the best Temple poets. In her poetry, she speaks of the trade winds, rain which “tingles on the roof of the tropic island,” “a clear blue stream / Leading to a little white cottage.” But another poem wonders why she feels “half” instead of whole and asks, “When will I change?” Again, I wondered: was it more than adolescent longing? I invited her to come with me to a poetry reading, but she said she couldn’t. I wish I’d found some other way to talk to Joyce alone. Looking at her pictures, on the cover and inside the book, still breaks my heart.

And what did you learn about your students’ lives in Jonestown?

In addition to what we found in books, I also found, in the California Historical Society’s library, many letters by students about the wonders of Jonestown. But I soon discovered the writing was pretty formulaic, probably assigned. Then I found Temple member Edith Roller’s journals, as you did. She had been at an Opportunity gathering where Jones spoke at the school. He had that talk recorded — as he had many events — and we used the transcript, from Jonestown Institute website for the scene in the book where Jones speaks and presents a check to the baseball team.

Edith was apparently the only one allowed to keep a journal in Jonestown, and I found details about what kids were doing when they weren’t working or attending the Jonestown school: girls “fixing” boys’ hair (a common teen practice in the day, which Jones frowned upon); girls and boys meeting after curfew outside her cottage (which Edith didn’t appreciate). There had been dancing once in the evenings, but Jones put a stop to that (the dust raised was bad for their health, he claimed). I think, as you do, that her journal for the last three months went missing because she was being too honest. Jones wanted to choose what would go down in history. But back to the kids: Stephan sent me one of his pieces, about how the kids managed to have at least one dance party, probably more, in spite of Jones.

So the teenagers found ways to maintain their independent streaks in spite of Jones and the Temple?

Yes. They had the courage to disobey his rules in spite of the danger. The heart of the book is the chapter called, “Precious Acts of Treason,” a phrase from Deborah Layton’s book, Seductive Poison. She uses the term to describe the ways people rebelled in spite of terrible punishments. The young people found many ways to fight back, or ways to escape, like the secret dance party Stephan describes — at least for a time. They managed to be teenagers even in a prison camp. It was one or our students, Monica, who, with her friend Vernon, was brave enough to pass a note to one of the journalists who came to investigate Jonestown which said, “Help us get out of Jonestown.”

I don’t think most in Jonestown, until the end, fully believed Jim Jones would actually carry out his threats of “revolutionary suicide,” which you point out in A Thousand Lives, is a twisting of Huey Newton’s definition of the phrase. There had been many “White Nights” where the topic of death or that of committing suicide for a cause was part of Jones’s message. But those where a substance was drunk had previously turned out to be just a “test of faith.”

Another act of youthful resistance was how Stephan and others convinced Jones that a basketball team would be good PR, in spite of the fact that he opposed organized sport as capitalistic. The team, which included some Cobras, was playing a tournament with the Guyanese team when Jones called them to come back to Jonestown. The boys, convinced it was just another scare tactic, were sure they could win the next game and refused. They had also coalesced in their opposition to Jones, and Stephan was sure that when they got back to Jonestown, the time was ripe for a change. But they did not know, until too late, what had happened.

Julia Scheeres is the New York Times best-selling author of the memoir Jesus Land and of A Thousand Lives: The Untold Story of Jonestown. She lives in the Bay Area with her family and is a member of the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto.

The post Teaching the Kids of Jonestown appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

from Los Angeles Review of Books https://ift.tt/2xG1M0f

#Los Angeles Review of Books #topmixtrends

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survivormysticfalls-blog · 8 years ago

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Dear Diary,

With all the idols in the game found, castaways carefully started to use their powers for good and evil. With a double tribal round in the midst, Colin had his super idol, and Zakriah planned a vote stealing expedition that would turn out fatal on his end. Francesca gave up and asked to go home.

With the fall of Zakriah and Fran, merge was finally here and Jess was flushed from the game.

Colin: yikes i haven’t done this for this round yet. woops. ANYWAY its a double tribal round woo!!!!! Like I guess I didn’t win individual immunity since y’all never messaged me about a tie breaker >: ( so that sucks. But I think I should be good??? Like I got that majority alliance with Veronica, Matthias, and Andie so unless they screw me over then either Zakriah or Stevie should be the one going. If shit happens and I do end up getting voted off I got that cute lil super idol up my sleeve anyway so!

Richie: okay so whats up mystic falls vampire bitches its like day 20 and apparently i haven't made like any confessionals but in my defense thats only 50% my fault!!! not much has happened i mean 3/5 of my original bennett tribe have left this game from expulsion, elimination, and evacuation so like that's wild i keep joking that we're cursed and no one from the bennett tribe is going to get voted out so one of us is going to get rocked out and one of us will win.... speaking of getting rocked out i've gone to The Armory twice and got the regular idol AND the full moon idol which when played cancels the votes and sends us to rocks so bookmark this moment when i play that and rock myself out the game! i was just about to go to the armory for my 3rd time and get something else BUT THEN YOU GUYS TOLD ME IT WAS A MISTAKE AND ZAKRIAHH BEAT ME BY 6 POINTS SOOOOO........... fuck y'all!!!!! i don't need him having any ammunition i'm scared he's going to have resentment over the fact that i hardcore fucked him over in a previous game??? idk i like to think of every game as like a new thing and clean slate but i get nervous that not everyone is as evolved mature and beautiful as me :\ but whatever i guess we'll deal with that later idk if ill make merge um okay let's see oh i'll give you the cliche list of relationships.. i have no alliances so i'm fucked but this is just like where i stand and what i think of people on NuPetrova (in order of least to most connection) abel- okay so when we had the Damon's Party challenge and we had to say the thing and first person gets a point when i scored my safety Abel called me out for an apostrophe and got my point revoked and i think i said something like "i cant wait to target you at merge for that!" and then we ended up on the tribe together and i was like fucksdfashsfd AND THEN HE CAME FOR NICOLE FRANZEL which anyone that knows richie knows thats like...it's not a smart thing to do so i'm 50% joking 50% serious when i say i'm not sure if we're nemesises or not jordan- literally said 3 things to eachother fuck fran- haven't talked much at all like very minimal surface level whatsup jess- ICON. QUEEN. she's so strange i really haven't talked much bc she's not very active but i love ha drew- drew and i are similar except he's like me 25% better... he's a comp BEAST, he's smart, he's likable we get along we don't talk much but when we do we're always saying what eachother is thinking and i can be open and candid with him since we're the only 2 left from our original tribe.. i don't have anything solid with him but i like the idea of working with him because we vibe and i know that he's a threat so hopefully that's a shield for me so for now he's cool

Fran:

[3/18/2017 3:18:30 PM] Fran 🗣: Hello ladies can I leave the game please [3/18/2017 4:07:23 PM] nicole gilmore (mystic falls host): what [3/18/2017 4:16:21 PM] Fran 🗣: can I leave the game [3/18/2017 4:18:03 PM] nicole gilmore (mystic falls host): do you have a valid reason i [3/18/2017 4:18:30 PM] Fran 🗣: if I don't can I not leave

Drew:

Drewbert rings bell to the tune of Heart Shaped Box .

Jess: i told nicole i was applying for an internship but I'm not really applying because my grades weren't good enough :( is that what this is about? also lol catfish like the tv show?

Zakriah:

to make up for the fact that I'm a dunce who voted for him at the last tribal ive been teaching matthias about americas most wonderful national treasure - old faithful, natures vagina.

Matthias:

I have a really smart plan sit down ure gonna be surprised, ok i exposed colin to zakriah and colin might leave this week Colin obv has some tricks up his sleeve he won too many reward thingies and im jealous this plan we eliminate colin and get zakriah to use vote stealer to eliminate advantages that can be used against me

Stevie:

After Matthias telling me that I was the plan until I won, I decided to tell the people who were going to do that that I am glad I won immunity because Otherwise I would think I was the plan with how much people have talked to me :) kinda give them that feeling of laughing because I pretty much figured out the situation but I "don't know" that it was actually the situation. Idk maybe they know that I know but we will see [7:32:45 PM] Stevie: all I know is I am glad I have immunity because otherwise I would think I was the plan with how much people talk to me [7:40:19 PM] veronica [ hoenn host ]: yeah like tbh and like i hope u dont like expose me bc yikes but u and zak are at the bottom of the tribe atm from what i can tell but like i think merge is gonna happen soon so i think you’ll make it and hopefully me too [7:41:21 PM] Stevie: I mean I figured with the like 5 person alliance that me and Zak aren't a part of

oops straight up told her that I know

Zakriah:

the uglies are soooo confident that they haven't even bothered talking to me or to Stevie. Like it'll be such a beautiful feeling if matthias pulls through and votes with us and that whole alliance is torn apart by an advantage they gave me. And if it doesn't work out I had an iconic last round in the game!

Stevie: [7:40:19 PM] veronica [ hoenn host ]: yeah like tbh and like i hope u dont like expose me bc yikes but u and zak are at the bottom of the tribe atm from what i can tell but like i think merge is gonna happen soon so i think you’ll make it and hopefully me too

I love power trips

Tribal commences on both sides. Fran is seamlessly voted out. On the other tribe, Colin is originally voted out but comes back with his super idol. Zakriah is voted out in his place. After tribal, merge happens!

Richie:

should i announce that i’m playing the chaos idol so for the next 24 hours people just have to live in fear of getting rocked out

Matthias:

Colin just told me hes bitter he wasted a super idol cuz of me

Colin:

me when I have to waste a super idol bc matthias was playing around and got me voted out. like…. even if zakriah threatened him saying he had all these advantages he was going to play, all he had to do was think about worst case scenario. like, worst case scenario, he has an idol??? and then I’d be voted out anyway so why flip???

AND ANOTHER THING, why me tf?? like i gave zakriah that vote stealer. i would’ve thought he’d at least try to vote for like carson first instead of me, I literally don’t get it.

and according to Stevie it was Veronica and Matthias who ratted out the alliance?? why are these bitches so messy like now no one is going to trust them.

its not even that i’m mad at Matthias for voting me, I get that if Zakriah was threatening him then it can be worrying but I’m lowkey really fucking bitter I had to basically waste that super idol when I could have made a bigger move

but anyway WOO I MADE MERGE. IF I SURVIVE THE FIRST MERGE TRIBAL THEN I WILL HAVE BEAT MY BEST SURVIVOR PLACEMENT. IF I END UP BEING THE MERGE BOOT THO I’LL SCREAM.

Stevie:

merge started and I thought something might happen. But this game is still silent as FUCK and I hate.

Richie:

whew i can’t believe i won first individual immunity i did THAT! i was also one of the people listed for sneakiest in the touchy subjects but idk why probably bc i don’t talk to anyone!!!! anyway i win immunity and then matthias and stevie add me to an alliance and I’m like okay idk them but i don’t have any alliances in this game so why not… im so out of the loop no one in this game talks to me but they tell me that the names being thrown around are andie, abel, and jess… jess is an inactive icon, abel and i have a half joking rivalry, and andie is someone from the other tribe that I’ve never spoken to so id want to take out andie but at the last minute they said they didn’t think they were going to get the votes so at 8:59 i just sent in my vote for jess bc they said thats what the tribe was doing…. um the vote comes out 2 votes andie, 3 votes abel, 6 votes jess….. BITCH if we voted out andie he would have left we’re literally the reason jess went home and i hate myself asdfhksdjfh

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