#my poodle scored

[katelynnwrites]

We’ll Be A Fine Line (We’ll Be Alright) | Felicitas Rauch

warnings: descriptions of blood, injury and general angst along with mentions of smut

word count: 4612

summary: feli accidentally injures you during an international game

a/n: happy monday. i’ve actually always wanted to write this prompt so i’m pretty excited about this. also i couldn’t resist adding that last part, i’m not sorry 😂

You love international breaks. The chance to represent your country on the world’s stage is not something you would ever take for granted.

After you made the move to Germany, to play for VfL Wolfsburg, international breaks become even more special.

They become one of the few times you’re able to be in the country of your birth, with the friends you have grown up with.

This time, you’ve been given an even more special chance, a rare opportunity to play against your German, Wolfsburg teammates.

You’re especially looking forward to playing against one particular teammate.

She’s a defender and you’re a striker. It’s a cliche really.

Ahead of the upcoming Arnold Clark Cup, your girlfriend had bet you that you wouldn’t be able to score against her and you had countered her bet with your own, that she wouldn’t be able to prevent you from scoring.

The reward of the bet is interesting, that the winner will be able to do anything she likes with the other.

And you really really want to win. The thought of being able to have your way with a certain Felicitas Rauch being more than enough incentive for you.

******

England playing against Germany is the last fixture of the tournament so playing against Feli isn’t really on your mind yet.

You do however, text her frequently and in return, receive a constant stream of TikToks that she has found funny.

You’re laughing at one of them when Georgia plonks down in the seat next to you.

‘What’s so funny?’

‘Nothing Georgie.’

‘Aw come on! You’re never here anymore and now that you are, you won’t even tell me what you’re laughing about.’ Georgia pouts.

You soften at her words and quickly unlock your phone, showing her the video Feli had sent you.

The Manchester City player chuckles.

‘That is funny.’ She says and you laugh again.

‘I didn’t know you had a dog though.’

‘Me?’

‘Yes you? Your lockscreen is a brown poodle.’ Georgia says in confusion.

‘Oh! She’s not exactly my dog.’

‘Okay…’ Georgia’s confusion only increases and she makes to ask more questions only to be unable to do so because Sarina starts giving instructions.

As you listen to your coach, you glance down at your lockscreen of Cinnamon before unlocking your phone once more, this time to look at your wallpaper.

It’s a good thing Georgia had only seen your lockscreen because your wallpaper, a photo of Felicitas kissing you would have been a lot harder to explain.

******

It had completely slipped your mind to tell your England teammates about Feli.

There had just been so many things going on, your recent move to Germany, a new apartment for you to settle, a new style of play for you to adapt to and your struggle to learn a new language.

Your relationship with Feli had started amongst all that and before you knew it, months had passed by.

How could you tell them about your German girlfriend now?

******

On the contrary, Feli’s national teammates know all about you.

So many of them played at Wolfsburg with you and the rest have heard all about how head over heels Felicitas is for you.

They would never miss an opportunity to tease Feli who is usually reserved and a tad shy.

The perfect opportunity lies in whenever she calls you.

Somehow even when you are countries apart, you always manage to make your girlfriend blush.

Her German teammates love you for that and you frequently get sent photos of Feli’s red cheeks during the international breaks.

******

Having headed up to your hotel room early, you make the most of your roommate’s absence to call Felicitas.

She answers almost immediately, her smile being the first thing you see.

‘Hi my love.’

‘Hello.’ She greets, cheeks already dusted with pink from the term of endearment.

You grin, ‘How’s England treating you?’

‘Good but I miss you.’

‘I miss you too Feli but we’ll see each other tomorrow.’

‘I can’t wait.’ Your girlfriend murmurs.

She adjusts her phone, giving you a glimpse of her surroundings. It looks like she’s out on her hotel room’s balcony.

Having finished propping her phone up, she cheekily asks, ‘Ready to lose?’

You laugh, ‘You wish.’

‘Liebling, being able to do whatever I want to you is pretty good motivation. There’s no way that I am losing.’ Feli states.

Confidently, she adds, ‘I’m sure you’ll like what I have planned.’

‘Well as nice as that sounds, I think that both you and I will prefer what I have in mind for when I win.’

There’s no mistaking the tone in your voice.

Feli swallows hard, her blush intensifying as she stammers, ‘S-Sorry liebling. No can do.’

You giggle and your girlfriend looks away in embarrassment, clearing her throat.

‘I love you but I won’t be losing. You’ll see.’

‘We’ll see.’ You agree.

You’re content to just look at her but you hear the door of your hotel room opening.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you Felicitas.’

Feli nods, having heard your roommate from her end of the call.

‘Ich liebe dich. I’m really excited to see you.’

She ends the call, just as your roommate enters the room fully.

‘Who were you talking to?’ Leah asks curiously.

‘A teammate from Wolfsburg.’ You answer honestly.

‘She speaks German to you?’

‘She’s trying to teach me to pick it up faster. I’ve not been too good at it so far.’ You laugh self deprecatingly and your roommate giggles.

‘Are you feeling okay about playing against your club teammates tomorrow? It must be a little weird for you.’ Leah asks, unintentionally slipping into her role as captain.

‘It is but I’ll be okay Lee. We had a conversation about it before I left Germany. We promised that there would be no hard feelings and we’re actually quite looking forward to it.’

******

Sarina and the other coaching staff had asked you about how your German teammates at Wolfsburg played. You had given them as much as you could, telling them about your personal experiences with their playing styles.

They have also come up with their predictions for Germany’s starting lineup.

It’s no surprise to you that they think Feli will be playing.

Your girlfriend had gone from being left out of the 2019 World Cup to being Germany’s starting leftback and you could not be any prouder of her.

You see the work she puts in day in and day out and you know that she deserves to be there.

When you arrive at the stadium, you see that Sarina is right. Feli is starting for Germany and as you line up near her in the tunnel, you give her a brief hug that lets her know that you are proud of her.

You know that the extra tight squeeze she gives you in return means that she understands and is proud of you too.

******

Ellen White scores first, with you assisting her goal.

You can’t help but smirk at Feli as you walk back to your position.

She rolls her eyes at you and later when you’re within earshot, reminds you that you haven’t won the bet yet as you weren’t the one who scored.

******

The rest of the game goes as expected, with Germany playing physically and England playing the ball forward as much as possible.

Your Wolfsburg teammates have landed quite a few tackles on you but have helped you up each time.

You don’t take it to heart, having expected it already. It’s not like you have not done your fair share.

Playing in Germany has rubbed off on you and you now have a tendency of being a little more physical.

You haven’t had any direct contact with Felicitas though, the defender being kept occupied by your English teammates.

By the 94th minute, you know you’re going to win. While you yourself have not scored, Millie and Fran have added to England’s goal tally.

Lina Magull scoring in the 41st minute is not enough for Germany.

You’re thinking about ways to somehow convince your girlfriend that you’ve won the bet anyway as you begin lining up for a corner.

It’s in Germany’s favour but you’re not particularly worried, knowing that Mary has the safest hands around and that this corner will probably be one of the last actions of the game.

Feli’s taking the corner and you focus back on the game just in time to see the ball fly.

You jump up, along with everyone else but Leah is the one who gets her head on the ball.

She clears it and then you’re off, sprinting clear of the other players. Maybe you would be able to win your bet properly.

The ball gets passed to you and you make a run for the goal, only to be taken out a fraction of a second later.

You scream.

There’s no other way to express the horrific pain you are in.

You’re not even aware of the way your body curls in on itself or the way your hand blindly clutches at your injured ankle.

Sobbing into the grass, you cry out again as gentle hands turn you over.

If your eyes weren’t squeezed shut, you would see that your girlfriend looks like she’s about to throw up.

‘I didn’t mean to. Oh my god I never meant to hurt her.’ She repeats, over and over again.

Feli is inconsolable, shaking all over as she looks at you on the ground.

Your English teammates push her away, in their rush to get to you.

She doesn’t register Keira shouting at her or Lucy holding the ginger back.

Laura grabs her and moves her aside, just enough so that she can still see you but not be in the way of the worried England team.

‘She’s going to hate m-me.’ Felicitas stutters.

‘Hey Feli she won’t. It was an accident.’ Laura tries but Feli isn’t hearing any of it. She trembles harder when Laura hugs her tightly, the Eintracht Frankfurt player doing her best to keep her friend’s breakdown from the cameras.

The German players gather around Felicitas, helping Laura to block her.

Your English teammates are trying to do the same for you.

You’re still crying, unable to answer any of the questions the medical staff are asking you.

‘Feli.’ You whimper.

‘Felicitas.’ You plead again.

Leah squeezes your hand. You hadn’t even realised that she’s holding your hand.

‘Yes. It’s Felicitas Rauch that tackled you.’ Leah tells you, thinking that it’s what you want to know.

It isn’t.

‘I want Felicitas. I want my girlfriend.’ You beg.

Leah blinks but doesn’t question you, knowing that you are in no shape to properly answer anything.

She just gets you your girlfriend.

******

‘She didn’t mean it.’ Alex Popp states, as Leah approaches.

‘I hope not. Rauch needs to go to her girlfriend now.’

‘No. I can’t be near her. She won’t want me there.’ Feli cries, furiously shaking her head.

Leah glances at you and then back towards her before firmly saying, ‘Look I don’t know you. But she’s in a lot of pain and asking for you so I’m bringing you to her whether you like it or not.’

******

‘Liebling, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I should never have gone in for that tackle.’ Felicitas rushes out.

‘Feli…’ You gasp and your girlfriend chokes back a sob, taking your hand in hers.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to but Feli it really really hurts.’

You’re trying your hardest not to cry more but a few tears slip free anyway.

The expression on your girlfriend’s face looks like heartbreak but she whispers, ‘I know. I know. You’ve got to let the medics take you off the pitch now okay?

Trying to be brave, you nod and the medical staff takes it as their cue to put you on the stretcher.

‘Please don’t leave me.’ You beg and Felicitas scrubs her tears off her face. She angrily thinks to herself that she doesn’t have to right to cry.

‘I promise. I’m right here liebling.’

Her gaze remains on your face but the briefest glance at your bloodied and bruised ankle, now visible thanks to the medical staff who had removed your boot and rolled down your sock makes her want to be sick again.

Feli’s face is pale and tear stained but she never lets go of your hand.

She’s right beside you, holding your hand and walking off the pitch with you.

The referee decides to end the match there but that doesn’t matter to your girlfriend who would have walked off the pitch anyway, regardless of what the referee and coaches had to say.

******

Your girlfriend is carefully stroking your hair, doing her best to soothe the pain she had unintentionally caused you.

The bed you are sitting up on is cold but Feli’s hands are warm. You try to focus on that, letting her familiar touch give you some comfort.

The medical staff are examining your ankle now but by just looking at it, you think that there’s little chance you would escape with a mild injury. You are sure you would be on the sidelines for a while.

When your team doctor looks up at you and gives you a little head shake, you know your suspicions have been proven.

‘I’m really sorry but you’re definitely going to have to go to the hospital now. We’ll contact your club and let them know.’

‘How bad is it?’

‘A few months out at least. Your ankle is badly sprained and the hospital will give you a more thorough x-ray but from what I can tell, it’s been fractured.’

Your face crumples and you bury your face in Feli’s shoulder. Her arms wrap around you, holding you close.

‘I’ll give you a moment.’ The doctor murmurs before leaving.

‘I’m so sorry.’ Felicitas breathes.

You cry even harder, the throbbing pain in your ankle doing you no favours.

Your girlfriend inhales shakily, kissing the side of your head before beginning to pull away.

You stiffen the instant you feel her loosening her grip on you.

Your eyes widen in fear and you panickedly ask, ‘Feli w-where are you going?

‘Don’t you want me to go? I’m the reason you can’t play let alone walk. I hurt you liebling.’

‘No. You didn’t mean to. Stay please. I need you. Please Felicitas, don’t go.’

‘I won’t.’ She whispers, her heart breaking all over again as she realises exactly how vulnerable you are.

‘You promise?’

Your girlfriend hugs you close, ‘I promise. As long as you want me here, I’m here.’

******

You don’t want Felicitas to leave your side. You think she understands as well because she’s still sitting by the side of your bed and holding your hand when you wake up.

Her Germany kit has been replaced by a hoodie and shorts so you think that one of her teammates must have helped her out.

The German player’s eyebags have always been pronounced but the sleepless night she has had have made them so much darker, like bruises under her eyes.

‘You’re awake.’ She mumbles, when she feels you moving around.

You frown, trying to wiggle your toes only to fail. The new cast on your leg sees to that.

You don’t remember it being there so you assume that the doctors at the hospital must have done it after you had taken the painkillers which knocked you right out.

‘Felicitas? Does this mean I’ve won my bet?’

‘The bet? Liebling, that’s what you want to talk about right now?’ Feli’s tone is incredulous and surprising to you.

‘Why not Feli?’

‘Because I hurt you. My mistimed tackle broke your ankle.’

‘Fractured.’ You correct but your girlfriend winces all the same.

‘You are here because of me. You won’t be playing for three months. Can you please yell at me? Be angry at me liebling.’ Felicitas insists.

‘No.’ You answer simply.

‘No?’

‘I’m not mad at you. I know that it was an accident. You would never hurt me intentionally.’

‘I would never and it was an accident but please be angry at me. I deserve to have you hate me.’ Your girlfriend begs.

‘No. I will never hate you Felicitas. I love you. You’re the love of my life.’ You easily say.

The words come naturally to you because it’s all true. You know it in your heart.

Felicitas bites back a sob, ‘I love you so much. You’re the love of my life too.’

‘Don’t hate yourself Feli. It really was an accident. An unfortunate one but an accident nevertheless.’ You softly plead.

Your girlfriend exhales shakily, leaning in close and pressing a kiss onto your forehead.

You shiver, closing your eyes and soaking in the feel of her lips on your skin.

‘Feli?’ You breathe.

‘What is it?’

Your request is barely audible, ‘Can you kiss me please?’

Felicitas kisses your cheek carefully in response.

‘A proper kiss Felicitas. I-I haven’t had one of those for weeks and I miss it. I’ve missed you.’

You’re so shy that prior to the events of the last twenty four hours, Feli would have teased you before showering you in as many kisses as possible.

But now she quietly checks, ‘Are you sure? I have missed you so incredibly much but I don’t want to cause you more pain.’

‘You won’t. Felicitas I know you won’t.’ You swear fervently and your girlfriend gives in.

Her lips brush against yours gently and so tentatively that it makes you want to cry.

‘More. Please Feli please.’

Felicitas can’t deny you. She has never been good at doing so but now she finds herself completely unable to even try.

Her hands cradle your face tenderly and she gives you the most loving kiss she can.

You would have cried if the door of your hospital room didn’t open. As it is, Feli pulls away from you with a sharp jerk.

‘Okay then…Is this a bad time?’ Leah asks.

Behind her, Alessia and Tooney’s faces are tomato red from the display of affection. It makes you giggle.

‘No. I’d say come in but you’re already inside.’ You joke.

Leah laughs and places the bouquet of flowers she had been holding on your bedside table.

‘They’re beautiful, thanks Lee.’ You genuinely tell her.

The England captain smiles at you, ruffling your hair in the manner that only an older sister does.

Alessia and Ella settle themselves onto the couch along the side of your hospital room and you give them a warm smile.

Felicitas stands awkwardly beside you and as Leah starts telling you about how the other England girls will be along any minute, she murmurs, ‘I’ll give you a moment liebling.’

‘No don’t go. Stay. I’d like you to meet my national teammates.’

Your girlfriend hesitates and you add, ‘They’ll be nice to you, I promise. You can tell them what the doctor said because I was asleep for most of it.’

‘Okay…’ Feli sits back down by your bed and you grin, reaching out to intertwine your fingers with hers.

Leah looks at you expectantly and you sheepishly grin at her.

‘I’m sorry for not telling you earlier but this is my girlfriend. I always meant to introduce you guys to her but I guess she made her own introduction.’

All three of your national teammates chuckle at your sense of humor.

‘Nice to meet you.’ Feli cautiously says.

‘It’s nice to meet you too Rauch. Next time have a less dramatic introduction okay?’ Leah teases.

You laugh and Feli has a tiny smile on her face when she agrees.

******

You think your hospital room must be the noisiest one around. You’re actually worried that the nurses would kick all of your fellow players out.

When Laura Freigang arrives, bringing a pack of Sharpies along with a couple of other German players, the noise level gets even higher.

Your friends argue over who gets to sign your cast first but you put a stop to it.

‘My girlfriend gets to go first.’

Laura hands the Sharpies over without protest.

Felicitas takes it and after a reassuring nod from you, goes over to the end of your bed, where your injured foot is propped up on a pillow.

Gingerly, Feli begins to draw.

She sticks her tongue out in concentration and everyone in the room can see your obvious heart eyes.

Kathy takes a photo subtly.

Felicitas finishes soon after, pressing a kiss onto your forehead before sitting back down at your side.

There’s a small grin on her face and you look at your cast to see a brown dog.

‘Is that meant to be Cinny?’

‘Yeah.’ Feli’s smile widens and you laugh.

‘Thank you.’

There’s a moment where it’s just the two of you in your little bubble before Tooney loudly says, ‘My turn now!’

******

As your fellow players continue to talk, you can see that your girlfriend is exhausted. She rests her head on top of her folded arms that are on your bed.

The dark circles under her eyes are worrying you.

You know she hasn’t slept since before the match so you decide that despite how well meaning your England teammates and Feli’s national teammates are, visiting hours for you are over.

It doesn’t take much convincing on your part. All you had to do was tell a half truth and say that you are tired.

Leah wrangles the English players out and Sara Doorsoun shepherds the German players out so that you’re left alone with your love.

Feli anxiously smooths loose strands of your hair out of your face.

‘You’re tired? Do you want to sleep more liebling?’

‘Only a little and I wouldn’t mind another nap but that’s not why I asked them to leave. I asked them to leave because you need to sleep.’

‘Me?’

‘Yes you. Now get in with me.’ You insist.

The hospital staff had informed you that you wouldn’t be discharged till later in the day so you could let your girlfriend get some rest first.

Felicitas hesitates, eyes flicking down to your injured foot. Your friends have seen to your cast, ensuring that it is now thoroughly decorated.

‘You won’t hurt me. There’s a pillow propping it up so I’ll be okay.’ You assure her, already shifting to the side of your hospital bed to make space for her.

It takes you lifting the covers and staring at her expectantly for her to tentatively settle down beside you.

‘I missed you.’ You mumble into her shoulder.

‘Ich liebe dich.’ Feli promises and you give a contented sigh once you bury your face into her neck.

Inhaling deeply, you begin leaving little kisses on her tanned skin.

Your girlfriend lets out a soft moan.

‘Liebling…now’s not the time or the place.’ She breathily says.

Drawing back slightly, you sheepishly mumble, ‘Sorry.’

Felicitas carefully scoots closer to you, so that your back is pressed against her.

She kisses your shoulder, pushing your hospital gown to the side so that she has access to a larger expanse of skin.

‘Feli this isn’t fair.’

Your voice is tight and it’s taking every ounce of your self control not to turn around and kiss her silly.

‘I thought you said that this isn’t the time or the place?’

‘I’m sorry.’ Your girlfriend apologises but you can feel her smile against your shoulder so you know that she isn’t sorry at all.

Felicitas presses another kiss onto your skin and you audibly groan, ‘My love you’re supposed to be sleeping.’

‘Soon. But first I need you to know.’

‘Know what?’

‘You win the bet. I’m yours.’

You smile, turning to face her with some difficulty.

Your girlfriend’s smile matches yours and you can’t resist tracing her dimple with your finger. It makes Feli smile wider.

‘I had a plan but it’s got to wait a while.’

‘What did you have in mind?’ Feli asks curiously.

You blush furiously and quietly admit, ‘I wanted to fuck you in the shower.’

Your girlfriend giggles.

‘Shower sex? Liebling, that's what you want?’

‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Don’t feel like you owe me anything, especially sex.’ You quickly tell her.

‘Liebling no. I want to. I just- You didn’t have to make a bet to have sex with me. In the shower or anywhere else. It’s actually kind of hot.’ Feli murmurs.

She brushes a feather light kiss against your nose.

‘You’re really hot and I kinda sorta am always at least a little turned on by you.’ Your girlfriend happily confesses.

Your eyes widen and your blush that you don’t think can get any darker, does.

‘How about this? When your ankle heals, you can fuck me in the shower as many times as you’d like. But when we get back home, as your ankle is healing, I’ll give you the shower sex that you want.’

‘Really?’

‘I promise liebling.’

‘Okay. Now I’m really looking forward to getting home.’ You breathe.

‘Me too.’ Feli agrees.

You can’t resist kissing her affectionately.

Her eyes shine a little and you find yourself kissing her again, whispering against her lips, ‘Felicitas it wasn’t your fault okay? It was an accident.’

‘Okay.’ Feli quietly answers.

‘I mean it.’ You emphasise, wanting your girlfriend to know that she doesn’t have to blame herself.

She gives you a tiny nod in response, ‘I know you do.’

‘Are you gonna sleep okay? I’ll be here if you have nightmares…’

Your girlfriend exhales in surprise. There’s no way you could know that unless Sara had told you.

And her friend had.

When Feli had been distracted earlier, Sara had taken full advantage and confided in you that when she brought a change of clothes for your girlfriend, Feli had admitted that she could not sleep without hearing your scream of pain.

Her guilt ridden nightmares are the main reason for the dark circles under her eyes and you needed to help her see that she had absolutely no reason to feel guilty.

Feli takes your hand in hers, ‘I won’t. I know I didn’t mean to injure you and I know that you aren’t angry at me. It wasn’t my fault but I will definitely be working on my slide tackles from now on.’

‘Good.’ You whisper, giving her another kiss.

You try to pour all your love for her into it, needing her to know how much she means to you.

Felicitas must feel it because she sighs into your mouth, her entire body relaxing.

She wraps her strong arms around you, letting you find comfort in her embrace and in her effortless ability to make you feel safe.

And loved. So incredibly loved.

The painkillers have eased the throbbing pain in your injured ankle but it’s Feli’s presence that helps you get through the remaining ache.

Your girlfriend takes in a deep breath, soaking in the moment.

It’s brought to an end by her yawning loudly.

She tries to stifle it but fails, the resulting tinge of pink on her cheekbones making you giggle.

‘Love, get some sleep please.’ You instruct and Feli huffs a laugh, kissing your forehead protectively before finally, finally letting her eyes slip close.

******

If she spends the flight home thinking about how best to pin you against the bathroom wall and fuck you gently with her fingers, all while making sure that you keep your weight off your injured ankle and are in no danger of slipping, well she would just say that she’s being thorough with her preparation.

German Translation:

liebling - love

ich liebe dich - i love you

[britt-kageryuu]

Donnie and Leo are on the beach set again, with some drinks, and snacks. They're dressed in their color coded board shorts, Hawaiian Shirts, and crocs.

Donnie wielding a purple folding fan dramatically greetsthw audience, "Greetings Our Lovely Balemates! Today, even if we may not seem qualified to do so, we will be looking over pictures from various events and judge the fashion choices of the people."

"I'm mainly here to judge if they actually pulled it off. Because according to my twin here, I have the fashion taste of a '80's fashion disaster'. Which is understandable my one good fashion choice was this:" Leo presses a button, and his outfit switches to his bomber jacket outfit from the clothes don't make the turtle. "Though I did get some insight from Dee, so I'm just here to see the pretty people in possibly stupid fashion choices." He changes back to his previous outfit.

"Okay, the first set of photos are from some beauty pageants. These were set to the theme of 'Historic Beauty', so outfits fashioned around classic fashion, or older vintages." Donnie says as he repositioned them on the screen, and brought up the screen where the audience will see the photos, and the twins scores for them.

"Alright let's get started." Leo says then pauses at the first picture, "Is that lady wearing a vetro Jupiter Jim themed poodle skirt, with a Lou Jitsu themed Shirt! That doesn't work what so ever!! And at a major event!!"

Donnie nodded, "Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. And I agree, she did not do a good job with her choice." They both gave the picture a bad score. "Now let's continue to the next picture before we nit pic the hell out this girls poor decision."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So this was Mr. New York huh, didn't know there were Male Beauty Pageants." Leo says while looking at the picture, "Do you think we could win one of these Dee?"

"Oh, I'm sure we could, but it would probably be unfair to the other contestants. Now for his outfit. Any thoughts Blue?" Donnie asks.

"I want to know how he was made Mr. New York, sure he looks nice, but his idea of fitting the theme, they told him the theme right?" Leo asked, "You said these were 'Iconic to the State', then why does he look like he was styled for Mr. Texas? And wow I just noticed how terrible he actually tooks."

"You're guess is as good as mine, dear Blue." Donnie answers, "So score. I give it a 3.5. Could be worse."

"Same."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know when I was gathering these pictures, I never realized that so many runway and Met Gala styles were so... how to put this politely? Weird? Strange?" Donnie pauses while snapping his fingers, trying to think of the right words. They were looking at a group of photos that were apparently considered the worst outfits from a few events.

Donnie lets out a confused noise, "You've been staring at this picture in silence, and you only want his outfit?" Leo just nods his head. "Okay then, let's give our scores and move on. We have a good number of pictures left, and only so much time left for this."

"A waste of fabric? Like how did they expect to do anything but stand there in those clothes?" Leo says, pointing to an outfit that looked like a glorified mummy costume studded in gems with a long train of fabric spiraling around the person on the floor. "Didn't you look into tons of fashion events for your clothes plans?"

"Yes, though I can only guess that some of these were buried, or not as photographed as the others. Which is not fully surprising, they were probably overshadowed by the best of the best. Or somehow the fashion side of social media didn't pick these up, and question them." Donnie remarks while zooming in on the details of a few outfits. "I know these are supposed to be For the Art, but still."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo's sitting wide eyed at the picture on the screen.

"Blue, I asked you if you had any opinions?" Donnie says while looking towards Leo.

"I want his outfit." Leo says simply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both brothers have been staring at this picture of someone in an elaborate kimono style dress. Leo eventually broke the silence, "Are we both trying to figure out how that one piece is floating, or is it because this Guy is unfairly pretty?"

"Both, I've been studying the tricks Cosplayers have used for this kind of thing, and I can't tell how they did it. And yes they're very much to pretty." Donnie comments while moving the picture around or zooming in at parts.

"Wait, the model's profile says their a Guy! We're not try to mock them! It's not fair how fabulous he looks!" Leo shouts after some comments in chat popped up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donnie clicked to the last photo, and they both jolted because it was picture of Lou Jitsu in a thankfully very modest maid outfit.

"I didn't put that in there!! Truffle Mac and Cheese! At least it wasn't worse!" Donnie shouts while covering his face.

Leo turns to his twin, "Wait if you didn't choose the pictures where did you get them?" He askes.

Donnie peeks out, "I put out a request on the Softshell Discord Patreon Server, and the mods, after they checked the photos, sent me the file. I didn't want to be spoiled, okay!" They shout back, while they put in their scores, and Donnie quickly closed the flie.

"Well that wasn't too bad, even with the Maid Lou Jitsu jumpscare. What do you say Dee?" Leo says while taking a drink.

Donnie lets out a sigh, "Sigh, definitely could be worse. I'm almost afraid to see which pictures were vetoed from the file. Any let's finish this stream!"

They both try to say the outro at once, but were out of sync, "See you next time Balemates! Dee and Blue swimming off!"

The stream ended, but the clips for various reactions circulated around the fans, and started some more memes in the fandom.

-------------------

Masterpost

This was originally going to be about a specific event, but I figured it would be better for them to be looking over a set of randomly source photos that came with Notes from the Discord.

[mdni]

@itsmealaiah my bestest friend ever even though she treats me like shit and I think hates me. was always there for me when no one else was and has yet to stray. hate her.

@khris0l0gyyy this strange emo stoner that picked me up off the side of the road and put me in his dresser drawer. I don't know what his problem is. I love him a lot.

@fheonixx / @f03nixx I forgot what the right @ was but uh this is my favorite lesbian ever. they are in kahoots with the ever so evil alaiah but they actually like me so it's excusable.

@whizzergoingmadd / @mlm-blues a gay little faggot who is 3 soy sauce tall and gets bitten a lot. he's my gay faggot post dealer. I used to be afraid of him but he is too small to hurt me so I am picking him up and carrying him in my purse like a poodle. I've trimmed his poodle hair and dyed it blue to distract everyone from his red teary eyes.

@us-costco-official for some reason I am casually just friends-ish mutuals with a famous guy. not sure how I bagged that but this guy is my moodboard req dealer and he's really super duper hilarious so I guess you can say I scored. beavis and butthead reference.

@kieran0l0gyyy this is just me. I like myself a lot even though I'm insane and ill. this guy fucks MAD bitches and has a really huge penis, which I can confirm considering the fact that he is me. he really likes trans girls. like a lot. if you are one. consider dming him for more information

@sprouts-corner my little French diaper baby. he is so tiny and small and I am his dad. hello son. I love his little arts even though he's better than me and makes me feel bad about it

@hauntedcollectordreamland another lesbian friend. I have 3 of them somehow. dated evil alaiah for like 2 days. stinkyyyy 👎.

[waitmyturtles]

Okie-dokes: I'm very late to reporting on Dangerous Romance, episode 3, and listen -- listen. A lot of you know I'm in a compromised life state at the moment, --

(I'M MOVING. HOW. IN THE HELL. DO I OWN. SO MUCH. JUST. FUCKING SHIT. HOW DID I FIT SO MUCH SHIT INTO THIS PLACE THAT I AM LEAVING. OH MY GODDAMN WHAT THE FUCK. LET ME BECOME A MONK AND GIVE UP ALL THIS CRAP.)

-- yes, compromised life state, lol, and can't give too much thought to good meta at the moment. (I had to pause Not Me for the Old GMMTV Challenge because even just three episodes in, I knew it was SO GOOD that it deserves my undivided attention.)

So, yeah, brain is out of service at the moment, and then we have THIS episode of Dangerous Romance, and let me just note: y'all, Dangerous Romance was trending on Tumblr even through Only Friends Saturday last weekend (with Only Friends NOT trending, mind you). DR is clearly serving something (.....sigh, ships) that OF is not giving the fandom girlies, and man, did DR just lay it on THICK this week, huh?

I will admit. I'm a touch bummed. I LOVE PERTH AND CHIMON. I LOOOOOVVVVE THEM, YER HONORESSES! UNABASHEDLY. Yes, I love their faces. I DO, NO SHAME. I love their acting, too! I love them, like ::waves hands in circles:: all of it, all of them. I was hoping they'd chomp into a meatier show.

This is not that show. The puppy music, the reeeeeally fast swings into sympathy and "oh, you're my tutor now, bro, and I will spill all my feelings to you," IN ENGLISH AND KOREAN -- and just a touch of a class division conversation by way of Kang homey buying Sailom homey an extra dinner to-go. Sailom is now Kang's... confidante? Kang wants to make someone, anyone, proud, and it looks like Sailom is the guy.

I mean, this episode was all over the place, but....

Forgive me, meta angels, because this is EXACTLY what I need right now, omg. I'm mentally done, I'm toast! Not to say that I'm not going to enjoy Only Friends tomorrow! I am going to totally eat OF up.

But I will ROBUSTLY ADMIT to ALSO being okay with PerthChimon fan service at the moment. Unfortunately for any of my hopes of them being in a more dramatically complicated series: they still have hilarious chemistry. They're actual real bros in real life (Papang smh lol). They're clearly having fun doing this together, like OhmPerth in Double Savage. Chimon's facial expressions are outta control (that look on his face when Perth/Kang accelerated the bike? I cackled).

This is fluff! As @lurkingshan noted -- a recalibration of expectations is in order for this show. I'm taking this show right now as 100% fan service from my PerthChimon wub woobies. Perth and Chimon (and really, the co-director of this show, Lit Phadung of SOTUS and SOTUS S) -- these dudes know the score. Perth and Chimon have been around for a minute. You need two dudes to dial up to 10 on fluff BL? They have those tropes so memorized that it's burned in their bones. Put 'em in coach, they're ready to play.

If I take this show on THAT tip, then -- as an aiming-to-be-classic romance BL, then it's doing something.... if not right, then at least aligned to some tropes simply by mood. I'm curious about Sailom's flashbacks to Kang's bullying, but I don't have the strength or mindpower to read into it. If a reference back to the bullying comes -- or not -- then, whatever. This show is clearly, at the moment, trying to achieve a more simple goal than I expected of it, but I'm not gonna write it off. I'll thoroughly enjoy Perth and Chimon being poodles to each other -- gimme.

I was wondering to @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm earlier today that I had previously wondered WHY GMMTV would air Dangerous Romance during the Only Friends run, especially with ALL the marketing hype around Only Friends before it premiered. At the time, it seemed to me to be a pre-emptive gong strike on Dangerous Romance. Now it makes me wonder -- did GMMTV want to cover its bases by placing a classic fluff BL on air, to protect the network from losing fandom points through Only Friends? I can only wonder. If some ships are exploding through OF -- then the network can hand PerthChimon over and say, hey, we haven't forgotten our shipping roots, girlies.

Kinda makes me think. In any case -- Shan is right. I'm recalibrated on Dangerous Romance, I'm watching this literally to see PerthChimon ham it up, annnnnddd yeah, that's about it! At this point, give me the make-out sessions, give me pool time, gimme. I unabashedly stan and simp. If we get some real drama out of this show -- it will be a wonderful surprise. I just hope the show doesn't veer into totally unwatchable territory.

[animadi888]

Meet The Archon Family!

Note : It's not exactly an episode… it's simply a place where you can learn about the members of the Archon family plus some trivia.

I'm not from America and the school system will be documented in the story as it works in my country, to those who don't know, so it's like this: Kindergartens are usually for children aged 3 to 6. Elementary school is from 1th grade to 6th grade. Middle school is for 7th to 9th grade. And high school is for grades 10th and 12th. Of course college or university is later.

Zhongli Archon - Zhongli is the older brother of the family, he is 23/24 years old and just finished college.

He studied finance, business, economics, and accounting in college. And he thought of going to learn from sentences but gave up on it.

His nickname/username on most social media is Morax.

He has a lizard named Rex Lapis that no one in the family likes except maybe Venti and Nahida who have no problem with him but would still prefer another pet.

He is not so good with feelings or at least talking about them but still does his best to help and comfort his siblings but he feels he is not doing enough.

Likes to have tea with Raiden sometimes.

Likes to read and talk about stuff with Navida's before she goes to bed.

Love listening to podcasts no matter how boring everyone else thinks they are.

Loves wine.

His room is pretty neat but somehow he always has piles of paper there.

He has two jobs but it always feels like he doesn't have enough money.

Raiden Makoto Archon - Raiden is the second oldest sister of the family, she is 17/18 years old and is in her third and last year of high school (12th grade).

She didn't take the death of their parents (especially her mother) so well and now she keeps all her feelings inside.

Likes to spend time alone in her room, which is so tidy it's as if a military unit went through there and gave it a deep cleaning.

Her social media nickname/username is Raiden Shogun. But in in videogames her nickname/username is Ei.

Doesn't really like animals but if she had to choose a favorite it would be a cat.

Among her siblings, she gets along the least with Murata.

She has a sweet tooth. Plus sweets remind her of the time she used to watch her mother make sweets (even then she was a bad cook).

She is a gamer, Ya Miko loved most of the games (she has not met her yet but will meet her during the story).

She is the head of the student council.

She is on the kendo team at her school. She fights with both a sword and a naginata.

Murata Archon - Murata is the third oldest sister of the family, she is 15/16 years old and she just started high school (10th grade).

She is a combination of gangster, jock and a sukeban.

She likes to get into fights mainly because of the adrenaline but also because she is good at it and it gives her a sense of accomplishment. Something she doesn't feel much at school because her grades are the lowest in her family.

She hates being looked down upon. That's why she doesn't like Raiden and most of the teachers at school.

really like meat and spicy food.

She loved challenges to the point that she would do anything to win the challenge.

She doesn't have many friends so she is quite protective and loyal to the friends she has.

Zhongli reminds her of her father so she finds comfort in him.

Likes, playing pranks with Venti and Furina.

She and Furina love dogs but she likes dogs like a German shepherd while Furina prefers dogs like poodles.

Not much is known about her so I imagine she looks like Vennessa.

Furina Archon - Furina is the fourth oldest sister in the family and Venti's older twin, she is 13/14 years old and in the second year of middle school (8th grade).

Between her and Venti she is the "evil" twin. At first she might approach you and say something super passive aggressive like "Wow your test score is usually good" or "I'm sorry, am I bothering you?". It will slowly become more friendly until you are reduced from enemies to enemies to friends.

Her social media nickname/username is Focalors.

She do a good imitations of her siblings.

Want to be a lawyer/judge one day. Many believe it is because she likes the drama of the court. She won't say if it's true or not.

She and Venti are in the theater club together but she is also in the debate club.

Really good at making cakes (her mother taught her). And sometimes she and Raiden talk while they're eating or while she's making them.

Loves to read and listen to fairy tales and sometimes also history with Nahida.

She was supposed to share a room with Nahida, but after her parents died she moved into Zhongli's old room while he moved into their parents' room.

She has an indescribable amount of stuffed animals.

like to watch historical drama series.

Venti Archon - Venti is the fifth oldest brother in the family and as was said before Furina's younger twin, he is 13/14 years old and is in the second year of middle school (8th grade).

He gets along pretty well with everyone. Well maybe except the teachers but they can agree that he is a good boy he just needs to concentrate more.

His nickname/username on his social networks is Barbatos. Yes he and his twin sister are pretty dramatic…

He has the second worst scores in the family after Murata. His grades are either average or slightly above or slightly above average but not super good. Not that he cares.

He dreams of starting a band and he's going to make it happen no matter what!

Can play several stringed instruments, and he sings quite well.

He has a special bond with Zhongli  because they are the only boys in the family.

He doesn't have a problem with them being Zhongli's lizard  he just would have preferred it to be more interesting like an iguana or a chameleon. He also likes parrots. A lot!

Loves grape juice.

Unlike his twin sister he is a morning person while she is a night person.

Nahida Archon - She is the little sister of the family, she is 5 years old and just started going to kindergarten because before she stayed at home with their mother who is now dead.

She is super shy but also super curious.

She really likes books of all kinds but her siblings don't allow her to read graphic books.

I love mint tea with lots of sugar.

She's a vegetarian, kind of… I mean unofficially and she can eat meat if she has to. But she doesn't really enjoy it and her family knows who it is so they just don't give her meat.

Trying to behave the best she can because she doesn't want to burden her siblings.

Feels bad because she can't help her others much but she still does her best!

She would have preferred Zhongli's lizard (Rex Lapis) to be something cuter like a rabbit or a hamster or even a turtle.

Loves to braid her siblings' hair (she was the one who braided Venti's hair).

Loves trivia games and "educational" TV shows.

So you may have noticed that Tsaritsa is not there and how I mentioned only 6 siblings. So don't worry because here she is. I present to you Aunt Tsaritsa! Plus someone else…

??? Archon ( Tsaritsa) - She's their dad's sister and she's probably around 40… I don't know it's not polite to ask a woman her age! (Cheeky…)

"Tsaritsa" is not her name but almost everyone calls her that. (This is her username/nickname on social networks). But she is called by her nickname so much to the point that Nahida doesn't know what her real name is.

Pretty much rich.

She is this aunt who seems to be leading or a cult, or a pyramid scheme or multi level marketing. Or all together it's not clear…

doesn't get along so well with her family. She cut off contact with her mother and she and the Archon siblings get along only reasonably…

Not married but not intending to get married either.

Celestia Archon - She is our special editor and the mother of the Tsaritsa and the father of the Archon siblings. She's very old and can be a bit grumpy sometimes, but that comes with age I guess…

Hope you liked it :)

Previous chapter (prologue)

Next chapter (Chapter 1: A job! Yeah I think I need one of those…)

[ivyfox-illustration]

Greeting cards (8, 16, and 24 packs) Rainbow Poodle, Standard Poodle, Watercolor, Spoo, Continental Cut, Realistic, Unique Poodle Gifts Your favourite breed art print - head or body conformation - groomer gift - Other Breeds Available - dog breeder gift - regional specialty or national specialty prize gift idea Artwork by Ivy Fox Illustration Follow Ivy Fox Illustration on social media https://m.facebook.com/IvyFox.illustration/ https://www.instagram.com/ivyfox.illustration/ Find your dog breed: Personalized Pet Portraits: https://ivyfoxillustrates.etsy.com/ My website: https://ivyfoxillustration.com/ Art Prints Merch Original PaintingsAdd a unique touch to any wish with these personalized greeting cards. Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”, these printable cards can handle long-distance transportation with minimal risk thanks to their robust, uncoated cardstock. Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs - each pack comes with size-matching white envelopes for each card. .: One size: 4.25" x 5.5'' (10.8 x 13.9 cm) .: Available with printing on the outside and inside .: Matte finish .: Matching white envelopes includedContact Email: IvyFoxIllustration@ gmail(dot)com ———— Tags and other miscellaneous info: ———— Ivy Fox Illustration Ivy Fox dog art Museum of the Dog American Kennel Club Showsight - Where Champions Are Celebrated American Dog Fancier InfoDog Best In Show The Canine Chronicle AKC Gazette best pet portrait artist watercolor fine art unique art Akc meet the breeds Westminster kennel club dog show national dog show crufts grooming intergroom superzoo petquest groom expo dog sports well bred dogs purebred preservation breeders ethical breeders breeder of merit akc grand champion Ch – Champion of Record – earned by gaining 15 points in conformation wins. Points awarded is determined by the number of other entries the winning dog defeats. A dog must win at least two majors (by winning at two different shows under two different judges where there are enough entries defeated to equal 3-5 points by the AKC point system. OTCh – Obedience Trial Champion To earn an obedience title, the dog must have a passing score of 50% of possible points or better, and an overall passing score at three different competitions under three different judges. CD – Companion Dog (First Level Obedience Competition, basic obedience exercises) CDX – Companion Dog Excellent (Intermediate Level Obedience Competition, more advanced obedience work) UD – Utility Dog (Advanced Level Obedience Competition, difficult obedience work, including hand signals) UDX – The highest obedience degree AKC presently awards TRACKING TD – Tracking Dog TDX – Tracking Dog Excellent VST – Variable Surface Tracking HERDING HIC – Herding Instinct Certificate HT – Herding Tested PT – PreTrial Tested HS – Herding Started HI – Herding Intermediate HX – Herding Excellent HCh – Herding Champion AGILITY NA – Novice Agility OA – Open Agility AX – Agility Excellent MX – Master Agility Excellent NAJ – Novice Agility Jumper OAJ – Open Agility Jumper EAJ – Excellent Agility Jumper AKC Unofficial Titles CGC – Canine Good Citizen ROM – Register of Merit – A dog or bitch must earn a number of points specified by the DPCA rules, and also meet the numbers of champion and major pointed progeny required by DPCA. The requirements for bitches are less than the requirements for the dogs because males have the opportunity to produce a far larger number of offspring. ROMC – Canadian ROM ROM/C – designates that the dog has earned an American and a Canadian ROM. TT – Temperament Tested TC – Temperament Certified AOE – Award of Excellence-A dog must meet qualifications in conformation, obedience, and also be OFA´d to earn this award. New competitions are being added and rules for competitions change, for the most up to date rules and regulations, check with the AKC and the DPCA. Miscellaneous American titles often seen on pedigrees and in advertising. BIS – Best in Show at an All-Breed Show in conformation. BISS – Best in Show Specialty (where only dogs of the same breed are competing in conformation) BOB – Best of Breed BOS – Best Opposite Sex BOW – Best of Winners (best between Winners Dog and Winners Bitch in breed conformation class competition) WD – Winners Dog – the winning dog overall of the regular classes of his sex. WB – Winners Bitch – the winning bitch overall of the regular classes of her sex. RWD/RWB – Runner up to the winners dog and bitch, if the winner becomes ineligible for the award then the runner up will receive the points awarded from that show. Special – A dog that is already a Champion that is competing for Best of Breed only. A Champion cannot compete in the classes where points are earned (because a Champion has already earned them!) RTD – Registered Therapy Dog TD I- Dog has passed Therapy Dog International´s testing HEALTH CERTIFICATIONS OVC – Ontario Veterinary College OVC Hip Certification – A dog may be preliminary screened at a younger age, but will not receive a certification unless the dog is at least 18 months old. It was told to me by a tech in the radiology department of OVC that they consider hips to either be bad, in which case they are rated on a scale from 0 – 4, with 4 being the worse, or they are “good” in which case the animal will receive a certification number (if 18 months or older. Therefore they do not follow the U.S. rating system which includes “FAIR”, Good, Excellent”. Their exact words were “the hips are either GOOD or they are NOT. OFA – Orthopedic Foundation for Animals OFA Hip Certifications – dogs within a specified range of normal hip x-rays are certified OFA-Excellent, Good, or Fair OFA – Elbow Certification – Certified by OFA for normal elbows on x-ray, only one grade recognized as normal. Check with OFA for proper procedures and positioning for hip and elbow x-rays. A dog may be preliminary screened at a younger age, but will not receive a certification unless the dog is at least 24 months old. OFA is also now doing certifications for other canine health concerns such as normal thyroid levels, check with OFA for accurate data and rules concerning these. CERF – Canine Eye Registry Foundation-dog is certified to have normal eyes. Re-certification must be done annually. vWD – Von Willebrands Disease free-meaning the dog has been tested and found free of vWD, a bleeding disorder, vWD free ratings also are often given with a percentage listed. For the best information on Von Willebrand´s Disease, contact Dr Jean Dodds, who is the leading research specialist in blood disorders. Dog show prize idea

[bestbeest]

Well, Artemis' person has cancer.

Between that and the fact that she is not quite the dog I was led to believe by the breeder (note to self: trust temperament tests more... evaluate and score more formally... and film the damn things so that when I start gaslighting myself I can look back on it!), I think I'm just going to wash her and eat most of my investment. Not ideal, but it's OK. I'm still feeling REALLY good about Oaken, and one for two is not bad. I mean, the whole point of starting with two was in case one didn't work out lol, so here I am.

Now to decide what to do with Artemis. I can either return her to the breeder or try to rehome her myself, preferably to somewhere I can check in on her once in a while (and maybe make part of the money I invested into her back lol).

Anyone looking for a purebred, clingy, very sweet standard poodle? Lol

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #101

Uaaa~ Beginning of another hundred 🔥🔥🔥

Another Misc. translation for today! This time it's the interview that little Yuuko shows to little Yuuri about teenage Victor in ep. 1, Yuuri's flashback scene!

Pick Up! Victor Nikiforov

A day off in St. Petersburg

[Photo description] Victor Nikiforov and his pet dog Makkachin/ In his house's garden.

Exclusive interview

Junior World Championships, the last note of this [figure skating] season. Victor Nikiforov broke the world record for best personal total score. He's only 15, but he has both a solid skating technique and artistry, which charms the audience, and not only in Russia, he is now being observed very intensely. A sunny afternoon in St. Petersburg. After off-season started, we visited him in his house.

--- You did very good job this season! How do you spend your time now in off-season?

"I can relax a lot now! I walk with Makkachin (in the photo, the poodle next to Victor), watch movies… As I didn't have much time to do that until last month.

--- Makkachin is such a big dog!

"[Makkachin is] a standard poodle [Japanese let you avoid pronouns a lot, especially third person pronouns, so it's not specified here if Makkachin is a "she" or a "he"]. I've got him/her 3 years ago. S/he might have got that big because s/he's sleeping all the time. And that s/he often snatches food may also have something to with that, I guess… Makkachin is very good at hiding [this habit] from me […]"

[The rest of the text is hidden, but from the few words visible we can infer the next question starts with either "congratulations for winning Junior Worlds" or "breaking world record" last month, and then about the program/s most likely, that something was very memorable. Then Victor talks about his program/s, then that something happened when he didn't know what to do, the next question starts with "This morning…" and then Victor answers about how he feels most likely, the answer starts with "Happy" but as in Jp the negation is added to the end of adjectives, it may as well be "Unhappy" hehe… The next question is probably about next season, and Victor answers something about seniors. So, to sum up, such a shame we can't read it.]

Towards the next season

"[…] I have been skating since I was very young, and I'm so happy that at present too, skating gives me joy. I'd like to always feel like this [that is: enjoying skating]. As for the programs I was skating until last month, my technical skills stabilized a lot, and I feel the effects of that. When it comes to the artistry, I think it would be interesting if I could discover many more different sides of me. I think that if you just continue to work on something, the the effect will come in due course!"

--- And lastly, [not visible, but traditionally it's most likely "a message for our readers/your fans, please"]

"Thank you for always supporting me. From now on too, I'd love to be able to show you a new me [the word used is "miseru", means "to show somebody something", but the kanji used is for "charm somebody", it's a play on words, because both have the same reading]. Let's meet again next season!"

[Notes: It's just so sad, that from what we see in the show, this wish of 15 year-old Victor to always enjoy skating didn't come true…

It's also interesting that 15-years-old Victor was living in a house with such a beautiful garden... Unless he's into gardening, it looks like it's his family home 🤔]

[gautierprotectionsquad]

so many books become movies without my knowledge. i was watching a drawfee vod where they were discussing "people that turn into dogs (Not Wolves) and it reminded me of a book I read as a kid called 100% wolf about a boy who was supposed to turn into a wolf when he turns 13 but turns into a poodle instead and i remember it was good (based on my memory of my preteen opinion) so i looked it up and it had a movie????? in Dec 2020? it got a 46% audience score on rotten tomatoes? made 300k in the box office?

[jewishrose]

okay sorry ive been mia but those of you who follow me on my main know i’ve been very busy lately with career stuff! anyways i’ve been rewatching yellowjackets and i think i have a more concrete idea of how i’d classpect the team.

shauna shipman - maid of breath

breath is the aspect of choices, independence, freedom, and change, and the maid’s journey is all about learning to accept and rely on their aspect instead of seeking it out in other people. in both 1996 and the present day, shauna feels trapped - literally, trapped in the wilderness, but also trapped in jackie’s shadow and trapped by the web of secrets she’s been keeping, and in the present day she’s trapped in the role of a suburban housewife with a daughter she hates and a husband she only married because of jackie. before the plane crash, shauna feels like her whole life revolves around jackie, and is happy to let jackie make choices for her. shauna’s arc is about stepping into her own personal freedom and relying on herself, for better and for worse. shauna’s arc challenges her to break out of the shell of apathy she hides beneath and accept her personal freedom.

jackie taylor - knight of blood

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. karkat is an example of a fully realized knight of blood. but jackie never realizes the true potential of her title because… you know. blood is the aspect of bonds, connection, influence and leadership, and before the crash we see jackie fully in her element as team captain. she’s able to stop the team arguing with a single “ENOUGH!”, she commands the field and scores the winning goal at states, and coach martinez reminds her that the reason she’s captain is because of her ability to influence people. she resolves arguments and keeps the team united. she works hard to maintain a facade - like all knights - of a person who has her shit together. and then the plane crashes, and her knightly facade cracks wide open. the wilderness operates on totally different rules, and jackie finds herself totally unfit to survive in this new world. she loses her authority as leader pretty early on, her bonds become distant before everything crumbles in the season finale and jackie dies. jackie was the glue holding the team together - it is only after her death that the team fully submits to the savagery of the wilderness and devolves into ritualistic cannibal cult shit. like all knights, despite her natural knack for connecting with/exploiting her aspect, she’s deeply insecure at her core. at her worst, she’s clingy and dependent. note also that blood and breath are opposite aspects. i won’t get too into inversion theory but i definitely think shauna and jackie ghost each other’s aspects at times.

misty quigley - witch of light

witches are notorious for being quirky/rebellious/unhinged. witches are manipulators - unconcerned with rules and use their aspect to break/change the rules. misty is obsessed with relevance. she destroys the team’s only chance at being rescued because people are finally paying attention to her. she’s excellent at manipulating people and things to suit her own ends and improve her social standing/relevance/importance. light players are also freakishly devoted to the pursuit of knowledge/collection of data and boy howdy is our favorite ~citizen detective~ good at obtaining data and manipulating it. she’s a bit of a know-it-all and i don’t need to say any more about the size of her ego. additionally, misty manipulates other people’s perception of her. who would think the poodle-haired, bespectacled geek who wears crocs and loves phantom of the opera is a threat?misty herself says, “i know when you look at me you don’t see someone you should be afraid of. but you should.”

lottie matthews - seer of doom

this one’s pretty easy. as a seer, lottie is uniquely aware of what horrors the wilderness has in store, and knows what the team must sacrifice in order to survive. even in the first few days after the crash, lottie tries to warn the team that something bad is following them. she’s perceptive of the doom that awaits them all, and no one believes her at first. of course, the team eventually becomes reliant on her prophecies as the antler queen, and lottie uses her abilities as a seer of doom to lead the team to the necessary course of action.

taissa turner - prince of mind

taissa can be downright machiavellian at times, and people tend to hate her for it. i don’t. i think she’s pretty much the poster child for the mind aspect. as a lawyer, she’s deeply concerned with justice. as a politician, she’s keenly aware of the fake persona she’s expected to perform in order to get the votes she wants (and, just like how dirk ghosts the mind aspect, tai ghosts heart). like any good prince, taissa is deeply stubborn and ambitious and willing to do whatever it takes to reach her goals. her challenge is to not destroy her own mind in the process (failed step one). eventually tai needs to find out why she’s been eating dirt, climbing trees, and murdering family dogs without any inkling of remembrance and return to stability in order to attain her goals.

laura lee - heir of hope

dear, sweet, precious laura lee. heirs tend to naturally gravitate/attach to their aspects, and laura lee’s undying faith is a pretty good example of that. throughout her time in the wilderness, laura lee never loses faith that jesus will protect her, and that her purpose lies in helping to save the team. she’s optimistic to the point of naivety, which is why she walks right into the face of danger by flying the plane. she truly believes her faith will protect her. she’s firmly devoted to her belief and convinced of her purpose right up until she explodes. rip queen ily

natalie scartorccio - rogue of rage

rage isn’t just about being angry. the aspect of rage encompasses all strong emotions, positive and negative. as a rogue, nat struggles to cope with her emotions. like her fellow rogue, roxy, she turns to substance use in order to drown her feelings out. nat’s challenge is to allow herself to feel all the messy things inside her heart - grief, frustration, depression, and aimlessness - and use them to help not only herself but those around her. for example, nat channels her grief over travis’ death into action, and devotes herself to figuring out how he really died.

the only person i’m still not sure about is van palmer! i’m tempted to say she’s a life player because… i mean. she’s cheated death like three times now. im convinced she’ll never die. but i also feel like she could be a space player because she’s always concerned with the big picture. i’m not sure!

[heavenlyhoundoom]

St.Patrick's day at Willy's Wonderland.

(Willy, Gus, and Knighty are heading to the city for a fun day when a black cat crosses their path, Gus got out of the way before it happens.)

Gus: Don't let the black cat cross your path, it's bad luck!

Knighty: What?

Willy: Oh come on, don't tell me you believe that.

(The three continue walking, when a car drives through a puddle and splashes Willy with muddy water.)

Willy: Well Knighty, I guess Gus was right and know we're both gonna have bad lu-

(Willy turns around to see that Knighty was completely dry.)

Willy: How are you not wet, you were standing right next to me!?

Knighty: It's because I was given some good luck today.

(The three go to a diner for lunch, a frog seated them at a table. When Willy sat in his chair, there was gum stuck to his leg.)

Willy: Oh come on!

(A poodle waitress comes to take their order.)

Midge: Hello, my name is Midge, may I take your orders?

Gus: I would like a cheese burger with pickles, with a side onion rings and some chocolate milk please.

Midge: Alright, a cheese burger with pickles, with a side onion rings and some chocolate milk, what would you like to order sir? (Talking to Knighty.)

Knighty: I would like a raspberry iced tea for my drink and for my meal I think I'll treat myself to a fish fry please.

Midge: Alright, a fish fry and a raspberry iced tea, and how about you sir? (Talking to Willy.)

Willy: I would like some fried chicken and a an orange soda please.

Midge: I'm sorry sir, but we're currently out of chicken and our soda fountain is currently being repaired at the shop.

Willy: Alright, then how about a hot dog with ketchup and mustard with a side of tater tots and some orange juice please?

Midge: Sure thing sir, we'll get your orders soon.

(Three and a half hours go by and Knighty and Gus have finished their meals while Willy didn't even get his water yet.)

Willy: This sucks, it's been three and a half hours and they haven't even brought my water yet!

(A moth waitress arrives with a mug of coffee.)

Moth waitress: Here's your coffee sir.

(She trips and spills the coffee on Willy's lap.)

Willy: Oh come on, I didn't even order coffee!

Moth waitress: Oh, I'm so sorry, did you order a hot dog with ketchup and mustard and a side of tater tots?

Willy: I did, thank you mam.

(Willy thought that his luck was turning around but when he bit into the hotdog it was cold and the tater tots were super soggy. When the three were given the check the moth waitress told Knighty that his meal was free because he was their one millionth customer.)

Knighty: Man, talk about lucky.

Willy: And talk about unlucky!

(The three leave the restaurant after pay for their meals, Knighty looks down a sees a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk while Willy steps on a stray lego.)

Willy: Aaaaggghhh!!!

Knighty: Wow, I found a hundred dollar bill!

Willy: Good for you...

(They go to the mall and the Barnes&Noble in the mall was having a half off sale to celebrate the five year anniversary of being in business.)

Knighty: Oh yes, I'm gonna score a lot of high fantasy books.

(Willy looks around and sees that the Hot Topic at the mall went out of business.)

Willy: No, not the Hot Topic!

(The three get some some frozen yogurt at the Froyo Fortress in the food court.)

Puffin lady: Welcome to Froyo Fortress, it's Froyo Friday were we pick a random flavor and make it free, today our free flavor is espresso.

Knighty: Well espresso just so happens to be my favorite flavor.

(The three walk through the flavors and Willy sees that the birthday cake froyo dispenser is out of order.)

Willy: Oh, give me a break!

(Willy settles for rockey road froyo and Gus gets cotton candy froyo. They pay for their froyo and when Willy sits down, his froyo had already melted.)

Willy: I wanna go home!

(Willy, Knighty, and Gus walk home and on the way there Willy gets stung by a bee and Knighty finds his lost pocket watch on a bench at the park they were walking through.)

Knighty: My pocket watch, I must've left it on this bench the last time we were here, this is turning out to be the best day of my life!

Willy: Well this is turning out to be the worst day of my life!

(They get back home and Tito is there to greet them at the door.)

Tito: Hola amigos, how was your day in the city?

Willy: My day was terrible, I had nothing but bad things happen to me!

Knighty: I on the other hand had the best day of my life and I owe it to that black cat.

Willy: What are you talking about, black cats are bad luck!

Knighty: Maybe to you Americans, but for a Scotsman like myself, black cats are actually good luck.

Gus: You know, that actually explains why you've been so lucky today.

Willy: You could've told me earlier!

Knighty: I didn't think it was important.

(Willy goes to his room in defeat and goes on his phone but the internet was being very slow for him.)

(Happy St.Patrick's day.)

[thelittlespanielthatcould]

What is the fidget potential of a border collie, basset hound, or poodle (all sizes)

1) border collie: ideal fidget toy. will retrieve the ball 145799 times in a row. their hyperactivity meshes with my hyperactivity in perfect harmony. together we will engage in repetitive behaviors as if our lives depend on it. 12/10.

2. basset hound

This is one of the worst possible fidgets. I guess the ears have the potential to be useful but who the hell wants to touch a basset hounds ears? I don't. Plus they're slower than me. 0/10

3. poodle: hmmmm. I feel like poodles have objectively good fidget potential. not for me. definitely not for me. but for people that like grooming and dig curly coats. my personal opinion brought down the score but it's not a bad idea. 8/10

[awlwren]

[id: excerpts from the guide:

Leftie (added 4 Nov 2023) - Saluted an Officer with my left hand on my first day

Sweet Pea (added 5 Jan 2022) - At Pensacola I held the door for a civilian that was leaving the classroom. She responded with “Thanks Sweet Pea” in front of the whole class.

Fifi (Added 15 Nov 2023) - July 1990 - Sitting in weaponeering class, which was part of learning to fly the A-6 Intruder.  One of my classmates turned to me and said “I heard you have a poodle”, in the same tone you would use if you caught someone in the middle of some deviant act. I replied “so what?”. He (a marine) was outraged. “It must be your wife’s dog, right?” Not being smart enough to see the dignified exit, I vigorously defended our little dog. Big mistake. He turned to the rest of the class and announced “Patrick has a fucking little Fifi poodle, and likes him!”I’m now almost 60 years old, and my close Navy friends still call me Fifi.

Salad - First name Cesar

Carrot - Red head pilot… and for some reason was obsessed with carrots, and had a specific way of eating them

GABBE - Got Ass Beat By Enlisted. Officer who had one too many at the enlisted club and decided to butt in on someone elses date. Pronounced Gabby

Puss ‘n’ Boots - He showed up for a physical fitness test wearing combat boots because he forgot to grab tennis shoes that day. Despite the clunky boots, he scored better than all of us. But he still earned a silly call sign for it.]/end id.

[cloverscranny]

My Webkinz

Penguin - Penelope

Pink Pony - Rose

Pink Poodle - Lola

Polka Black Fish - Luna

Rabbit - Clover

Peace Out Puppy - Carly

Pretty Kitty - Kira

Other items

Stuffed animals (3)

Love Frog keychain

Clothing packs (4)

Figurine (2)

Pets & Items I want

Blossom Fish (will be named Chelsea)

Millie's slide (wish machine)

Floral Princess Furniture

Goals

Collect pet medallions

Save up wish tokens for the wish machine

Beat my current high score on smoothie moves

Complete max level at the kinzville academy

Finish my gem collection at the curio shop for the legendary crown of wonder

[gigicatchesair]

Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Twenty-Six

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce Chapter Twenty-Six of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week my novelist and I thought it might be fun to list one dozen of the original motion picture scores that we enjoy listening to when we write. Our criteria being the scores must be almost exclusively instrumentals and they must have been original music written for…

[dreamy-baku]

Random talk bout Puyo Puyo

I love Puyo Puyo, it’s lore, and the characters (especially Squares), and by first puyo game was Puyo Puyo Tetris, (I was horrible at both modes back then)

But, now playing Puyo Tetris 2 a lot, I’ve improved at Tetris. I’m bad at the Puyo gameplay because it’s a lil too confusing…like, how can you read how the puyo’ll fall? Anyway, I can only play Tetris, I don’t exactly care that I’m horrible at Puyo cause I only really like the Tetris mode.

I’ve been obsessed with Squares since the beginning of this year basically…well, there’s more into that than I have ever told anyone.

Squares provides me a comfort, I feel like I am him, he is me. I have very similar traits to Squares, I love him. …but, my liking for him comes from the loss of my dog.

I had a cute chiwawa poodle mix that I loved dearly, she was always by my side no matter what. But she passed away from I think some type of illness around the beginning of this year. When I found out about Squares he just, I don’t know, helped me? He’s adorable and helps me keep my mind off of the sadness that filled my heart back then…

…I…I’m sorry, you probably didn’t want to know, I apologize…

Ever since me and my brother started playing Puyo, we’ve gotten a lot better. But since we only have Puyo on his system all of my achievements are taken under his name. I score a high-ranking record in Marathon (not endless), but due to that it’s qualified his record, I would love to reach the top 20 on the game’s leaderboard one day, but I have no motivation if it’ll just be called his record…