#my planar shit is so sad

[octarinecore]

Relearning CSP and painting my dude B)

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s1e10

i love how the neitherlands are conveyed through spooky tilted camera angles

penny normally: >:-( penny when eve implies santa claus is real: :-o :-D

the neitherlanders are extremely interesting actually. wish we got more of them.

IF YOU WOULD JUST SHUT UP FOR TWO SECONDS THIS SEX DREAM WOULD PASS THE BECHDEL TEST QUENTIN

alice knows julia is his lifelong crush they've known each other for like three months pleaseeee

it was 1943 it wasn't a dirty thing to say back then

we just can't talk enough about eliot and margo's friendship truly i love them beyond anything

julia's online handle being vicious_circe... be mine miss wicker !!!!

the magicians, trying to convey an air of potential danger and creeping fascism in the library: so the camera is always tilted severely

free trader beowulf is one of the loveliest things in this show for the short time it exists. it's so sad.

thibadeau's planar compression. it's really not a big deal.

ALICE'S PARENTS !!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE !!!!!!!

they are such assholes but also so fun like they're such an unexpected but sense-making part of alice's full context

zelda's pants are so yass and slay

"richard may be about forgiveness but i'm sure as shit not" as though that's not your best friend in the whole entire world kady

if my mom made me call her by her government name i would also be a little insane

i need us to spend much more time in alice's room. the butterfly artwork. the garden state soundtrack. my god.

she made him give me the version from the seventies because she thinks that kids should know what pubic hair looks like

"i'm really into damaged chicks" was about 90% of my reason for hating q the first time around

PLEASE QUENTIN IS THE WORST BOYFRIEND his limp little "oh my god" while alice is talking about family shit she's probably never in her life told anyone oh my god oh my god

i know a hundred ways to break in

ELIOT HAS TWO BOOKS

"filleted goat penis." "that's very thoughtful of you, dad."

you haven't even touched your penis!

alice's parents/joe throuple. it's a delight.

god i wanted margo to be able to deck him in the fucking face

"our friend is trapped in the neitherlands" "...acquaintance"

stephanie, this one DOES seem like an awful lot of work. which is why it works for eliot and not alice.

don't take this the wrong way mom but shut the fuck up okay <3

margolem is evil i think he should've been killed for that

"sometimes the only thing we do is spoon" "UGH"

shitty boyfriend q episode of all time where's that post about his internalized heterophobia

julia using "kludgy" she is a megadweeb

as i always do i love that the magicians as a show just kind of shrugs and says all gods. yes all gods. they're real.

ELIOT NEVER GETS TO OPEN UP

did margo have sex with the margolem yes/yes

"i like you a lot and i don't know why" is not what you say when you're interested in men i don't think

bite me.......................

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Thirty-five things I noted about CR2E141 “Fond Farewells” :

SEVEN. HOURS. LONG. EPISODE.

Ok, fair. The Mighty Nein did deserve that.

Veth multi-classed ! She has one level in wizard !! I love it !!

Oh yeah Essek kinda abandoned his post up in Aeor, huh... what will he do

Caleb : "Thank you, Jester." Jester : "For what ?" Caleb : "Oh, the last couple years... Thank you for being such a good friend."

Jester, to Fjord who is nearly asleep : "Hey, Fjord ? ... I love you. (panicked) Don't say anything ! I'm just going to bury my head in his arms." Fjord, befuddled : "What ??" Jester, regretting everything : "Don't say it, just shut up, go to sleep !"

I will miss Jester's Sendings

Ah, an insight check against a PC, this truly feels like early CR2 episodes !

Ah, there he is. The Irish-accent bastard of a purple tiefling. Kingsley. A person different from Mollymauk, for sure, but still with the accent, the attitude (kinda), and the immediate attraction to Caleb 'magic man' Widowgast.

THE PARENT TRAP WORK ! LOVE IS REAL ! JESTER'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN ON !

oh yeah that's right, the Mighty Nein left Aeor : with a robot whose plan was to wake others up, and with a functioning inter-planar portal that seemed to pass right through the Divine Gate (according to Matt's description of their return). I'm sure this is fine

THE BITCH IS HERE - and by 'the bitch' (NOT affectionate) I mean Trent

immediate Sam reaction : "I just got my family here" oh my god is it cruel of me that I kinda laughed, thinking it may very well go like the Fire Plane all over again ?

I'm excited to see what plan Caleb, Beau and Veth had obviously been cooking in the eventuality of Trent Ikithon, because they seem to have a very clear intent

Yes !!!! CHAINED COUNTERSPELL HERE WE GO I love it.

Eodwulf attacked Caleb, and the words exchange had kind of a sexy undertone to them ! I support Liam when he said "Is it hot in here ? or..." just after that. Even Fjord going up to Eadwulf and attacking him right after had some powerful homoeroticism, really enjoyed it

I love Travis' expression of "he's double-bagging it" about Trent having at least 2 shields of invulnerability cast around him, because I now pictured Trent with 2 bags over his head, like he was hostage

oh, I'm sad Laura missed Matt's 'you both have him cornered right there' about Eaodwulf, Caleb and Fjord. She would have snickered like I have snickered !

The Veth and Beau plan was incredible. It has multiples steps, it took a little bit of time (two rounds) but man, the visuals !!!!! Beau pulling out the collar, Veth and Beau hiding behind a tree, Veth gluing the collar, Beau escalading a tree while Veth was pulling out the magic fan, Beau jumping in the air towards Trent and ALMOST MISSING... if it weren’t for the fan !! Like Travis said last episode, I want to see this shit animated, and I will, because the world is good actually.

Oh man, Trent's end... Liam was crying and so did I, when Sam once again flexed his "I'm going to make a simple action so moving you will cry" muscles

How beautiful that Astrid was the one to do it, and help Caleb silence Trent forever

Caleb, to Trent : "You know, for the longest time, I thought this would be impossible. But I still dreamed about it, of taking your life. But death is too good for you. You are to be exposed, humbled, and brought low. Settle into that idea."

Oh, I'm so glad I've seen Beau and Caleb appear in Campaign 3, still fighting and trying to stop Ludinus' plans, because when Beau said this will take time, she was right : this will be a horribly long road for then, and the Cerberus Assembly's machination would prove to run deeper than they, right here in the Blooming Grove, know... But they're still here fighting the good fight !

Awwwwww Fjord said "I love you too" !!! Under the rain he created, like the romantic that he is !!

Caduceus is pissed. Using magic to force empathy on Trent is COLD. Love that Matt basically said "this man can feel no empathy and no magic can make him that's how rotten he is"

Astrid and Eodwulf came back ! They're helping for Trent's case (but not naming the other mages at the Assembly... maybe that's why, decades later, Beau and Caleb are still pursuing Ludinus).

From Caduceus' goodbyes to the end, just imagine me crying the whole time.

Essek : "What have you done ?... This world was so much easier when it was black and white." Beau : "But it's so much more beautiful in all the shades of colors."

Kingsley heard the Mighty Nein had a ship and immediately wants to be a pirate, I love him

ARE YOU KIDDING ME IS THIS THE SIPHYLIS BANDITS ????!!

Oh shit ! Ludinus offered a position within the Cerberus Assembly to Caleb, who respectfully declined (the power !!)

Vandren ! at last

Beau : "Are you wanting to be my housewife, Yasha ?" Yasha : "I mean... I think I would look pretty good in an apron." Beau : "I think you would look fantastic in an apron, especially if you weren't wearing anything under it."

Caleb's time-travel plan was pretty tight. He must have seen hundred of episodes of Doctor Who to avoid time paradoxes and such. But what a powerful image that he ultimately chose to destroy the thing he wanted most at the beginning of the campaign : "I drag some dust up my arm, and disintegrate everything in the room, and burn what's left."

THARIZDUN ??!! (me like the Beyonce ??!! meme)

"A tale of seven friends, who became eight, then nine."

Liam : "Thanks for a good story, Matt." Sam : "It was pretty good." Travis : "Let's do it again." (the callback the callback from Campaign 1 finale ok i'm gonna go cry for 3 hours now goodbye)

[charmandhex]

32- “Your eyes are red… Were you crying?” with magnus and another character of your choice? :3

It took me a while, buuuuuuuut I’m gonna blame the election!

CW for death mention, food mention.

~

Magnus doesn’t know what day it is when he wakes up. Well, really, that knowledge is long gone since they’re 33 planar systems deep into a seemingly endless journey, and you can bet Barry’s blue jeans that each and every one of ‘em had had a different calendar. And there’s been a lot going on so far in Cycle 33, so you can’t exactly blame Magnus for not figuring out how the local lunar calendar works when there are 17 moons orbiting this planet.

So Magnus, being Magnus, sits up and jabs a finger right at his eye. Ow. Shit. Yep, still bruised. So, two weeks, give or take. Magnus may not be the smartest boy on the ship, but he’s become pretty familiar with how long black eyes take to heal.

Two weeks. That’s not a lot of time to already be down two crew members.

Of course Merle’s gone already, having blustered and protested that he wasn’t needed now and that he needed to go into his next meeting with John with his memories of the last one fresh and sharp. Which, in Magnus’s not-so-humble opinion, is stupid. And he misses their shitty cleric. But at least Merle had been… somewhat expected.

Taako though.

It had looked safe. And they’d all been on their guard anyway. And Cap’n’port is a good leader. And Taako is a good wizard. Magnus is head of security. What good is he?

Magnus gets up and starts to pace. He’s learned a lot, and he’s learned that yeah, sometimes action is better than sticking around and thinking. Or at least sticking around and stewing in those thoughts.

Magnus’s room is too small for good pacing, but there’s a solution for that: Magnus rushes out. Down the hallway, past Lucretia’s room, past Barry’s room, up the stairs, past Cap’n’port’s quarters, onto the bridge, wide loop around the bond engine, around to the kitchen, down the hall, down the stairs again, past the med bay and Merle’s sad plants and empty room, quick right turn, around the boxes in storage, into the hallway once more, past Lup’s room… Magnus slows down and comes to a stop in front of the door to Taako’s room.

The twins had each been given their own room per some protocol Magnus can’t remember but Barry could probably recite in a heartbeat, but more often than not you’d find both in one room, switching back and forth between the two depending on whoever’s room had better lighting or fewer shoes in it at the time. On impulse, Magnus knocks at the door one-two-three, before reaching for the door handle.

Lup jolts up from where she’s been sitting hunched over on Taako’s unmade bed. At once, Magnus draws back, flustered.

“Oh, uh… h-hey, Lup.”

“Hey, Mango,” Lup says, her voice a little scratchier than normal. “Good thing T to the double A-K-O didn’t have any booby traps up and running when he… Anyway, uh, yeah, what- what’s up?”

Magnus lingers, debating, before stepping further in. “Just, uh, you know… thinking.”

Lup’s mouth quirks into a smile. “Doesn’t sound much like your style, Mags.”

“Now hold on!” The disquiet sitting heavy in Magnus’s chest is, for the moment, pushed to the side in favor of indignation. “I do plenty of thinking!”

“Yeah, about how to sneak dogs on the ship.” Lup gestures at the bed beside her, an invitation.

“That counts!” Magnus retorts before sitting next to Lup with a huff, turning to stick his tongue out at her. She looks away, and Magnus frowns, looking closer. “Your eyes are red… were you crying?”

“H-huh?” Lup stammers, still determinedly not looking at Magnus. “Nope! No way! No crying over here, just you know, 420 blaze it, let’s gooooooooo.”

Magnus blows out a long breath. “Yeah. I miss him too.”

Lup groans, before looking back over. “Magnus, you asshole, couldn’t you have just pretended and asked why I 420 blazed it without you?”

Magnus doesn’t respond, but he opens his arms. Lup moves so fast Magnus could have sworn she cast Blink, and then her arms are tight around him, as though afraid he too might disappear. Lup mumbles something into his shoulder as Magnus hugs her back.

“Sorry, didn’t quite get that.”

Lup turns her head, and an ear whaps across Magnus’s face. “I said¸ you and Barry are tied for best hugs.”

“Now that’s a compliment. Think I can stick it under proficiencies?”

“Yeah, with the other 500.” Lup lets out a shaky sigh and hugs tighter onto Magnus. “Taako gives shitty hugs.”

“He does not!”

“Magnus, he’s my brother, and he is my heart, but he manages to get like eight elbows in despite only having two of them. Half of the melee attacks he’s ever made have been accidentally headbutting people hugging them.” Another breath. “And most importantly. He’s not even here for his stupid, shitty hugs.”

Magnus waits even as Lup’s stifled shuddering sobs manage to shake him too, and he waits longer still, the heavy silence in the room finally stretching into something resembling peace.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too. S’not your fault though.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

“Is not!” Lup says, pushing back, fiery and indignant once more even with grief and pain still carved into her face. “Magnus Burnsides, you listen right now. That- what happened, was not your fault, and no one thinks that. I don’t think that. And when Taako gets back, he’s not gonna think that either. Now come on.” Lup lets go of Magnus long enough to scramble off Taako’s bed and up to standing before she grabs his hand.

“Come on… where?”

“I’m making some fuckin’ pancakes, and I need a sous chef,” Lup says, the kind of determination in her tone that regularly keeps them from doing stupid shit.

But what she’s saying is still surprising. Surprising because… “Really? Uh, Lup, you do remember what happened last time-” Last time he’d been banned from the kitchen for two cycles.

“We got it off the ceiling eventually, didn’t we?” Lup waves his protests off. “So, come on. I’ll let you put in as many chocolate chips as you want. And this way, by the time we get my dumb brother back, you’re better at cooking, so he has to get better at hugging.”

Magnus laughs. “Guess I can’t argue with that logic.”

The door swings closed with a quiet click behind them as they go. Less quiet is the Starblaster’s kitchen half an hour or so later, when Magnus and Lup and the rest of the crew are sitting around the table, plates stacked high with mostly unburnt and reasonably uniform pancakes.

And less quiet still than that, is the Starblaster some months and many pancakes later, when, elbows and headbutts aside, Magnus finds himself in a massive hug pile with Taako at the center. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Magnus hears Taako say:

“Hey, uh, quick, quick question: why is there a pancake on the ceiling?”

[raineydaywrites]

Nesting Chapter 13

on ao3 (x)

Fic Summary: Taako and Lup are determined to kick ass at going to university, even though their childhood education was anything but traditional.

Then, Taako finds himself in a situation that threatens to undermine all their hard work.

But there's plenty of university students that have kids! Really, this is just another chance to show how much better they are at everything they do- they can definitely manage to graduate and raise a kid at the same time.

Chapter summary: The IPRE crew is starting to come together!! This is pure fluff.

Chapter: Once he'd started showing, it didn't take long for stretchy and flowy clothing choices to be his only real options. He wasn't yet stuck with only pregnancy clothes, would be able to fit into some of the stuff he'd already owned for a little while yet, but he was getting there.

By now he'd basically stolen a good percent of Lup's stretchy and flowy clothes as well, finding himself frustrated with the decrease in his wardrobe options. She'd let him for the most part, with only the occasional annoyed look instead of any confrontations about the matter, which he was very grateful for. He didn't want to feel self-conscious about the way he looked now, but every once in a while the thoughts popped up and being able to wear mostly clothing that he'd already liked instead of generic pregnancy clothes all the time was helping with that.

Random people around him were starting to notice. He could tell. Very few of them had said anything quite yet, because it was rude to assume and all that, but he noticed the way that people's eyes would catch briefly on his stomach, or they would offer him a seat or whatever without saying anything.

He appreciated the seat thing, honestly. His feet and legs had hurt a lot recently, which he hadn't expected so early in. He still had so much time to go; both he and the baby still had a lot of growing to do, so the discomfort was sure to only get worse from here. Sitting down as much as possible made that a lot better.

Being clocked as a pregnant person by strangers wasn't making him as dysphoric as he'd feared. It happened sometimes, but he could handle it for the most part. He could accept being seen as feminine at times, as long as it wasn't the only thing people saw him as ever. So he was getting by.

No, for the most part, it was just weird. This whole thing was so personal and private, and yet so many people knew about it without knowing a single other thing about him. Taako had always been a bit showy, but that didn't mean that he wasn't also a very private person. He liked being the center of attention when he was in control of it.

He wasn't in control of almost any of this.

Wasn't all bad though. Kiddo had started moving around a lot more- they weren't really kicking yet, which Lup was incredibly disappointed about, but Taako appreciated the fact that the movements weren't hurting him, so as far as he was concerned, baby could wait on that as long as they liked.

It was weird to feel someone moving inside of him like this, but it was nice too. A reminder that he hadn't messed them up. They were here, they were alive, and they were active.

The morning sickness wasn't completely gone, but it had diminished severely and now his biggest appetite problem had jumped to the opposite side of the spectrum. He was hungry all the time, and sometimes for really weird stuff, but at least that problem was one he was more comfortable handling. Now that he could cook again without fearing that he'd quickly lose anything he got down, he had this shit taken care of. And if he didn't have whatever he was craving, he could just transmute it from something else. He pitied the poor fools who couldn't, who just had to deal with it some other way.

He and Lup had turned in their applications for the planar exploration expedition a little bit ago, and now the only thing to do was wait. Taako had wondered if he should disclose his pregnancy in the application. The only thing worse than getting turned down for the expedition would be to be accepted, only to be told that they wouldn't send someone pregnant on a mission like this.

But in the end, he decided not to. There wasn't a set date for the mission yet, at least, not one that they'd revealed to the applicants or the public, so it might not even be an issue by then. It would definitely take months for them to make their selections, and probably a fair amount of training time after that, so there was no point in giving them a reason to doubt his capabilities before they even really considered him.

He really hoped that Lup would get the opportunity at least. If he couldn't go, the next best thing was for his sister to get the chance. She had insisted that she wouldn't go without him, but he refused to be the reason that she missed out on an opportunity like this.

But Lup had equally refused to leave him alone when he was heavily pregnant and soon to give birth.

They'd ended up managing to compromise that she would stay if the mission date would overlap his due date, because he didn't exactly love the idea of going through those experiences alone either. He'd really been trying to avoid thinking about the entire idea of labor, because he knew it would be one of the most painful experiences of his life, and that was both terrifying and unavoidable.

"The shit I'm gonna go through for you..." Taako mumbled to himself- mumbled to the parasite, more specifically, because he wasn't normally the type of guy to talk to himself when no one else was around. If only because he had very rarely been in a situation where he had no one else around.

He was sure he'd heard somewhere that babies could hear stuff at some point, but he had no idea when. He'd thought about looking up stuff like that, but it kept slipping his mind.

He'd only ended up looking up one of those 'how big is my baby' sites once, because it had made his hormones go absolutely wild and he'd turned into an absolute mess, crying about how tiny the little guy was. He had been very glad that Lup had not been in the room with him, because even though he knew she wasn't going to judge him, especially right now, she still would have found it very funny, and he'd have felt embarrassed about it.

He was a stone-cold bitch, not a sap who cried over cute things!

It was different though, when his hormones were acting different than usual,- when it was his cute thing.

He was allowed to think his own child was cute! He just didn't want anyone to think that he couldn't still be a badass while also loving his kid! He's a multidimensional being, he's allowed to feel both things!

He let one hand rest on his stomach over where the baby was fluttering around while he checked the mailbox.

He hadn't expected anything interesting, so he went still with surprise when he pulled out two envelopes from the Institute- one bearing his name and the other with Lup's.

He would wait for Lup to get back before he opened them. They should do this together- he didn't want to do it without her anyway, no matter what the results were. If they were good or if they were bad, he would figure it out with his sister by his side- as they always had been.

Still, despite his determination not to open the letters without Lup, he couldn't stop his mind from thinking about it.

The envelopes were rather thin. Was that a bad sign? Would they have sent more information if they'd been accepted? The two envelopes were about the same width, which could either mean that they'd both gotten the same results or that there was no extra info for people who had been accepted to the next phase.

Which basically meant, he still had absolutely no idea of what the results were, just as he always had. The only difference now was that he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He tried to get some homework done, but it quickly became clear that that was a lost cause. But he couldn't seem to get invested in anything else either- nothing fun, nothing productive- he just sat at the kitchen table, one leg bouncing anxiously as he waited for his sister to get home.

Her class should be done by now, what the hell was she doing?

When the front door finally opened, he shot Lup an exasperated look, and asked exactly that.

"I went for coffee with Lucretia," Lup said, frowning in mild confusion.

"Ugh, gods, of course you pick the absolute worst time to go on your first date with her," Taako groaned. He may have been low-key encouraging them to spend time together, but he hadn't expected it to backfire on him like this.

Lup blushed at his words, and Taako rolled his eyes as she sputtered, "It's not like that! We're friends!"

So apparently, even the silver lining he'd thought he spotted for a second there was taken from him.

"Did something happen?" Lup asked, putting away her bags without even looking at him. She had gotten used to the fact that Taako could be extra irritable than usual with his mood swings, and since he didn't look hurt or sad or scared or anything, she figured it was probably no big deal.

"We got the results from the Institute!" Taako announced, and Lup spun to face him, her eyes going wide.

"What? Oh my gods, gimme!" she said, reaching grabby hands out towards her brother.

Taako handed it over to her, already ripping open his own, finally.

His eyes quickly skimmed the letter, past the formal niceties to figure out what he actually wanted to know.

 You are invited to the next round of selections. An interview-

Having parsed the relevant part, he looked up to Lup with a huge grin on his face, and felt it grow bigger when he realized that she was giving him the same smile.

"You got into round two, right?" he asked anyway, needing to make sure.

"You know it!" Lup said, delighted, holding up a hand for a high five that Taako immediately returned.

"Me too, natch," Taako said, casual, as if he'd never doubted it for a second. He pulled Lup into a hug, even though that had been getting harder to do recently.

Gods he hoped they'd planned this thing for a time when he could actually go. He was already starting to show by now, and it would only get more obvious as the interview date neared, so he could hardly hide it from them.

Not that he'd ever try to keep it from them completely. He couldn't hide it forever, and it would only piss them off if they found out after they'd actually offered him a spot. And for all he knew, it could be hella risky for the baby to leave the planar system, and he really ought to ask the experts first instead of crossing his fingers and hoping for the best. He couldn't risk hurting the kid for an opportunity that he knew he was good enough to get again in the future. Going on the very first expedition would be a dream, but it would still be amazing to go on any expedition.. It would be a disappointment if he had to wait, but not one worth hurting his kid over.

Still, he'd have preferred to get in at least a good first impression before breaking that bit of news to his hopefully future employers. He knew that he could be a bit of an acquired taste, but he could do a good first impression when he tried. This wasn't going to help with that. They probably had a tone of applicants who weren't PR nightmares in the making. Taako was good, but he wasn't sure he was good enough to convince them to risk the press tearing them apart over sending a pregnant person on a potentially dangerous mission.

Nothing to do about it now though. He'd go, and he'd make his best case for himself, and they'd make a decision. All he could do was try his best to convince them that he was absolutely irreplaceable.

-

Lucretia had asked to come visit the weekend before their interviews were scheduled. She'd seemed really excited about something over the call, and Lup and Taako had news to share as well, so Lup told her she could come over now if she wanted to.

Taako had rolled his eyes at that, as if he wasn't also excited to boast about being invited to the next round, just as much as she was.

Even if Lup had admitted to herself that okay, maybe she had a bit of a crush of Lucretia, that didn't meant that everything she did around the other girl was a sign of that! She wanted to hang out with a friend and get praised for what a good job she and her brother had done! That's it! She just liked having friends and being complimented!

When Lucretia arrived, she was wearing a bright yellow sundress, and Lup couldn't quite take her eyes off of her. She looked really good in it.

See, now that was the kind of thing that Taako had a right to tease her about- even if she really hoped he'd ignore it instead of tormenting her with it.

Didn't seem like that was all that likely though, given the shit-eating grin he gave her at the look on her face, before greeting Lucretia with, "Looking good, Creesh!"

"Thanks!" Lucretia smiled at him, tossing her hair a bit and posing cutely, which was absolutely unfair. "It's finally getting warmer out so I couldn't resist."

"Hey, when you look that good in something, why try to resist at all, right?" Lup said. That was probably too strong a compliment. "That's my attitude, at least," she added. It was true- Lup knew she was hot and she enjoyed showing that off- and hopefully it would make the first thing she said less incriminating.

A slight blush had taken over Lucretia's face at the continuing compliments, and considering how hard it was for a blush to show on her dark skin, she must have been pretty affected by it.

Gods, Lup had to do something about that. It was weird how Lucretia could be so confident in some ways and so insecure and withdrawn in others. She was clearly proud of her work and her skills, but in social situation, she turned into a nervous mess. Lup found it equal parts endearing and exasperating.

"So what's this big news?" Taako asked, breaking the silence and prompting Lucretia to perk up in excitement, back to confident once again.

"I've ghost-written a few biographies before- I don't think I told you guys that, but anyway- and so I earned a reputation, of sorts and I was invited to apply as a chronicler for a really interesting project soon, and I just got the news that I've been officially chosen!" Lucretia announced, giddy with excitement.

"That's awesome!" Lup said, high-fiving Lucretia, and Taako echoed the sentiment and offered a thumbs up from his position on the couch. "What the project?"

"I'm not supposed to give out too many details, but it's a kind of exploratory mission for the Institute," Lucretia explained.

"Wait- you mean the one to explore other planes, yeah?" Taako asked.

"Yes- how you do you know about that?" Lucretia asked, tilting her head like a curious bird.

"We applied as arcanists for the mission," Taako said, voice trying to project 'casual and sure of himself,' but slowly getting more and more excited too. "Got past the first round of approval and we're going in to interview next week."

Lucretia's mouth popped open in surprise, before splitting into another wide grin. "Are you kidding me?"

"Nah, babe, totally serious," Lup said, bouncing on her toes eagerly. "They haven't made final selections for arcanists yet- obviously- but it would be so cool to go on the mission with you!"

Lucretia nodded eagerly. "Of course. I hope you get it!"

Taako stood up from the couch with a tiny bit of difficulty that Lup and Lucretia pointedly didn't comment on to give Lucretia another high five, and then offering another to Lup as well, just for the hell of it.

"How come you get to know already?" he asked, mock annoyed. "Must be saving the best for last."

Lucretia just giggled, too happy to take any offense to that. "I think probably there are fewer writers who even applied than there are arcanists. Like, a lot of writers are probably much happier not going out on brand new ships with experimental technology into places we've never been to before. Not that I can understand that at all. So it's easier to narrow us down than the narrow down all the people who have literally been studying to do exactly this."

"Okay, we have to get chosen now, Ko. This whole setup is just getting better and better," Lup said.

"For sure. I am not going a couple months without either of my best babysitters," Taako said.

"You think I'm gonna be super good at babysitting, Koko?" Lup raised an eyebrow. "You realize I know jackshit about babies, right?"

"My cheapest babysitters," Taako amended.

"I am not watching your kid for free, even if they are my nibling," Lucretia immediately denied, shaking her head. "Knowing you, they're going to be a handful, and I demand payment in food, at least."

"Yeah, my cheapest babysitters, like I said," Taako insisted. He paused a moment, as another thought occurred to him. "You think they'll let us bring the kiddo if we promise not to let 'em bother everybody else? Like, they'd have three separate family members to wrangle them; I'm sure we could work something out."

"No?" Lucretia said. "I mean, like, that would be ideal, I admit, but I don't think the people arranging this mission are insane. No offense."

"I mean, totally worth a shot though, right?" Taako turned to Lup. "Worst they could say is no! You miss 100% of the shots you never take!"

"That is never gonna happen, but yeah, we can ask," Lup said. "You never know. I mean, Creesh, you say they're not insane, but isn't this whole concept a tiny bit insane? If you think about it?"

Lucretia shrugged, grinning, not letting any worries that this wouldn't work out dampen her excitement. "You know, I suppose you have a point. Ideally, this mission isn't being led by people with such poor decision making skills, but if it is- hey, silver lining, we all get to go together!"

"Yeah!" Taako cheered at her willingness to go along with the goof. "That's the spirit!"

Lup laughed so hard she thought she might fall over. Gods, as much as she loved Taako, she was realizing that having more people than just him around was even better. She hadn't realized how isolated they were until recently. She didn't actually need anybody but Taako, but it was kind of nice to have them anyway. Her family was getting bigger with at least the addition of the baby, and maybe she could even count Lucretia as family too, indirectly at least.

It had always been her and Taako against everyone else, and they could handle that. But getting a few more people on their side wasn't a bad thing. Far from it. It was the best thing.

[druidscraft]

playlist for novix, my archfey pact of the chain warlock! again, it’s organized into acts/movements, and below the cut is me explaining more about them – or you can just take a listen blind and try to figure out what he’s got going on 🥰

Act I. Underdark

The son of enigmatic cult leaders (the Cult of Asmodeus), Novix is originally from the Underdark. This cult, made up of all tieflings, held a special belief that clerics are essentially divine workers, mouthpieces and avatars of the gods themselves, while warlocks are secondary to clerics due to their chosen status of extra-planar power. They don’t make deals with just anybody. So Novix grows up in this hellish cult (literally) where sacrificial sex and manipulation are all part of the deal, with his mother, a death cleric, and his father, a hexblade fiend warlock, defining what it is to be a success.  The cult offered warlocks and clerics for hire, primarily to other cults - namely the Cult of Eternal Flame and the Cult of the Black Earth, who notably hate each other. This movement is dedicated to that life; to embodying what it is to be a devil’s tongue tiefling, filled with contracts, backstabbing, and manipulating the market to make your goods and services worth shelling out the big bucks for.

Hypocrates - MARINA

“I know you only want to own me / and that’s the kind of love you show me / you tell me one thing and do another / keep all your secrets under cover” 

bury a friend - billie eilish

“Say it, spit it out, what is it exactly? / You're payin'? / Is the amount cleanin' you out / Am I satisfactory?”

Games - Tessa Violet

“And you keep on playing games with me, games / And you always gotta play with me, play / And I hate the way you break and you take and you tear me down”

Act II. Rushed Patrons

Novix needs out, and he knows if he hasn’t been selected as a cleric by now he probably never will, so that means a warlock deal is the easiest way to gain powers and escape. But he doesn’t want to work with Asmodeus, nor does he want to work with any of the other creatures his parents routinely do business with. His research leads him to discover something about the courts of the fey, namely the Seelie and Unseelie Courts. And while the Unseelie Court is closer to the Underdark, Novix wants to get away from that - so he turns to the Seelie Court, for a chance out. Though the songs in this act are love songs, it’s Novix trying to seem appealing to possible patrons, trying to get to know them in a whimsical (if sad) sensual (if desperate) kind of way.

Bad Ideas - Tessa Violet

“I don't know what compels me / To do the very thing that fells me / I wake up, still high on you / But by the night, I'm crashing through, so”

Honest - Tessa Violet

“Flattery's my choice of weapon / Poison tastes like my resentment / Where would I go? Where would you go? / Hey, hey, no”

Drama Club - Melanie Martinez

“I don't wanna be an actress, living by a script / Who cares about practicing? I don't give a shit”

Act III. Living the High Life

He escapes, and he has no rules to live by but those of his own making. He gains a new name, new appearance, and new powers, and uses those to make himself into someone not beholden to anything. He stays in big cities, silver tongue and striking appearance making him able to live the free flowing life of the fey, here on the mortal plane. This movement is but a sampling of the things he does in that time. 

How To Be A Heartbreaker - MARINA

“Rule number one, is that you gotta have fun / But baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run”

break up with your girlfriend - Ariana Grande

“Break up with your girlfriend / Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored / You can hit it in the mornin' (in the mornin') / Yeah, yeah, like it's yours”

Field Trip - Melanie Martinez

“Tryna bring the mystical into the material / Bitch, I'm an eleven life path, I'm ethereal / I'm the definition of dichotomy, duality”

Act IV. (when you’re a low life)

Novix spent seven years traveling completely by himself, with nothing but periodic check ins by his patron and his pseudodragon familiar, Dottie. And as someone raised in such a society where your connection with your deity/patron is the ultimate sign of self-worth, having an archfey familiar who is much more focused on other things leads to wondering if he’s even good enough, or if he wasted his one chance. That’s a lonely existence, and these songs really speak to that as a sort of...open love letter to his patron.

when the party’s over - billie eilish

“Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin' / But nothin' ever stops you leavin'”

lovely - billie eilish, khalid

“Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near / Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear / Isn't it lovely, all alone?”

Freak - Avicii, Bonn

“I don't want to be seen in this shape I'm in / I don't want you to see how depressed I've been, yeah”

Act V. A Chance Meeting

Years pass, and Novix begins to get dreams again of the end of the world – but not the kind he’s used to. And so he reaches out to his patron, who finally tells him he should travel to search for the meaning of those dreams. On the way, he meets Kellen, a wood elf cleric, who is traveling the same direction. A strong, handsome cleric being put into his path, while he’s fulfilling what his patron asked him to do - he is chosen, he is on the right path, and all of a sudden he’s completely fine! And he has more things to focus on, like remaining in the cleric’s good graces. (It appears his parent’s teachings aren’t as gone from him as he thought, though the final song on this playlist is him believing that they are.) 

Crush - Tessa Violet

“You make it difficult to not overthink / And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink / I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird / It's such a rush, I'm thinking 'wish you were here', ah”

Graveyard - Halsey

“I keep running when both my feet hurt / I won't stop 'til I get where you are”

Fire Drill - Melanie Martinez

“Love is seeping out my pores, I don't hold anger anymore / Even for people who hurt and betray me”

[argonaut--keene]

If you're up for it, I'd love something h/c with taakitz, with Kravitz as the one needing comfort. Either emotional or physical is fine! Thank you :)

This forced me to actually figure out how I want to write Taakitz, so thank you!!!!! Sorry it took so long, I was struggling to end it, lol.

Word count: 1,416

Warnings: food, discussion around Death Crimes, mention of off-page child death and of off-page suicide attempt (not named characters), having a Bad Day™️

__________________________________

Taako was puttering around the kitchen when the stone of farspeech around his neck beeped and his sister’s voice came through. 

“Hey, Taako? You around?” She sounded tired and a little bit sad.

He grabbed the stone and answered. “Yeah, course I’m around, sis. Something wrong?”

“No…well, yeah. But not with me, at least, um…not really. Has, uh, has Kravitz gotten home yet?”

Taako frowned. “No…I thought y’all were all working until this evening. Did something happen?”

Lup sighed into the stone, and it gave a loud crackling sound in protest. “Yeah. It’s going to be okay, nobody’s like, hurt, or anything. Kravitz said he was taking the long way home, no rifting. So I guess it could be another hour or so? Anyway, I was calling to warn you that he’s not doing so hot.”

“What happened?” Taako demanded.

“Um, if he wants to talk about it, he will. Sorry, Koko, I know that’s not helpful, I just…he looked so sad.”

“Is it like, ‘make him some cookies and give him a hug’ type of sad? Or like, 'expect him to collapse into bed crying and stay there for a week’ type of sad?” Taako wanted to know.

She hesitated. “Somewhere in the middle.”

“Cool. I will make cookies and also have a blanket nest prepared. Will you and Barry be home anytime soon?”

“Hold on–” Her voice got quieter. “Babe, how long do you think this is gonna take?”

Muffled in the background, Barry said something that Taako couldn’t quite hear.

“Not until late tonight, we think. We’ve got a bit of a mess to clean up. Not much of a physical mess, more of a metaphysical mess. Well. Anyway, gotta go, Koko. Try and cheer your boyfriend up. Love you!”

“Love ya, Lulu.” The stone went silent. Taako got started on the cookies.

The thing was, there wasn’t much that could make Kravitz really upset anymore. He had been around for a long time in a pretty demanding and depressing line of work. He wasn’t numb to the horrible things he saw, he had just…well, they didn’t shock him anymore. Whatever had happened today, it must have been bad.

When the front door opened, Taako was just taking the cookies out of the oven. He heard footsteps in the front hall and decided to let Kravitz come to him. After a few minutes, Kravitz stepped into the kitchen. “Wanna talk about it?” was all Taako said as he turned around.

Kravitz looked so tired. “How did you…?”

“Lup called,” Taako said simply.

“She told you what happened?”

“Well, she told me something happened. The unspecific nature of that remark did nothing to appease my tendency to worry, so you should be very impressed by the amount I am not freaking out right now.” Taako held out a small plate. “Cookie?”

“Not…um, not right now, love. Sorry.”

“All good, I have multiple options prepared. Would you rather curl up in a nest of blankets until you’re ready to talk about it?” he offered.

“I…yeah. Yeah, that one sounds nice.” Kravitz let Taako take him into the bedroom, get him into pajamas, and pull him down into the blanket pile on the bed. He curled up on his side. His breathing was a little unsteady.

Taako rubbed his shoulder gently. “Just let me know when you’re ready to chat,” he murmured.

“I’m alright, Taako, I’ll be alright.”

“I know, course you will. But y'know how you always tell me that it’s better to talk about it? That goes both ways. But not until you’re ready,” Taako said. “Okay?”

Kravitz was going to answer, but no words came out. He just nodded.

Patiently, Taako sat with him and held his hand for almost two hours before Kravitz spoke again. He mumbled something so quietly that Taako couldn’t hear it. “What was that, pumpkin?”

“My job isn’t to be fair,” Kravitz repeated a little more loudly. “I can’t…I’m responsible for keeping the planar system in order. Not to make it fair. If I make exceptions, things go wrong. It’s not always fair.”

“Um…yeah, that makes sense.” Taako wished that he knew what had happened. It would make it a lot easier to make sure he wasn’t going to say the wrong thing.

“I’ve been doing this for so long that I can’t even remember how long I’ve been doing it for, Taako, and I still can’t get used to that. It…it’s not usually like this, though. Most of my bounties are doing something wrong, something harmful, not…”

Taako put his hand on Kravitz’s cheek and carefully tilted his face up. “Look at me? Hey. Whatever happened, it’s not your fault. You’re doing your job. And you do it damn well.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t awful.” Kravitz reached up and wiped at his eyes, although he wasn’t really crying.

“No, I know that. Or at least, I can see that. Do y'think you’re gonna be able to tell me what happened, darlin’? I wanna help, but it’s hard when I don’t know what’s got you upset,” Taako requested.

Hesitantly, Kravitz explained that he had been assigned a bounty on an older halfling woman and the spirit of a six-year-old halfling boy who had drowned in a river a week before the woman, his grandmother, had desperately turned to necromancy to bring him back to life. Although Kravitz had been able to offer the woman a second chance, the child’s spirit had been taken back to the astral plane. His grandmother had pleaded for an exception to the rule and eventually begged to be guided to the astral plane alongside the boy, who was her only living relative. Kravitz had apologized and offered to bring her to people who would understand and might be able to help. She hadn’t accepted his offer.

“What…um, what did she do?” Taako asked, not sure if he wanted the answer.

“She tried to kill herself with magic,” Kravitz stated. “She didn’t succeed–I was too shocked to do anything, but Lup and Barry had arrived by then and they made sure she didn’t succeed. We left her in the care of one of her neighbors and…hoped for the best.”

“Oh. Shit, Krav, wow.”

“It’s just, they usually don’t do that, Taako. It’s not like I haven’t seen plenty of people who turned to necromancy when they’ve lost something they think they can’t bear to lose, but they usually have something worth living for when I tell them that they can’t have the person back. She just didn’t think she did. Maybe she’ll find one again, but she didn’t seem to think so.” Kravitz rolled over, situating himself in Taako’s lap and hiding his face in his side. He was silently asking for comfort and Taako obliged, stroking his hair and his back as Kravitz trembled.

“This really shook you up good, huh, pumpkin?” sighed Taako. “Alright. Alright, I’ve gotcha. You’re gonna be fine. I’ve gotcha.”

“I love you, Taako,” he mumbled. “I love you, and…and I’m really grateful for you. You know that?”

Taako couldn’t help but smile a little bit. “I know, darlin’. I love you, too.”

“Thank you for putting up with this, I’m sorry for being so depressing.”

Now Taako laughed. “Oh–I’m sorry for laughing, sweetheart, but honey, you deal with enough of my panic attacks and nightmares and crying fits that if I was annoyed by you having a bad day, I’d be a pretty big asshole. You’re just fine.” He felt Kravitz shudder. “Krav? Are you crying?”

“A little,” he said, muffled against Taako’s shirt.

Taako leaned down and wrapped him in a tight embrace. “Alright, it’s okay. It’s okay. You go ahead and cry, it’s okay. It’s alright, pumpkin, you’re all good." 

Kravitz was a quiet crier. It was only because the tiny shakes of his shoulders calmed down that Taako could tell he had stopped. "Thank you,” he whispered.

“No need to thank me, zeekseit, hey. I’ve gotcha.” Taako kept hugging him until he sat up on his own. He cupped his hand around Kravitz’s cheek. “How ya doing?”

He took a deep breath. “Better,” he said. “Much…much better.”

Taako smiled and bumped their foreheads together gently. “So…want that cookie now?”

“I…” Kravitz kissed him. 

“Of course, I’m much sweeter than any cookie,” Taako teased. He was thrilled when Kravitz let out a quiet but genuine laugh.

“You certainly are,” he acknowledged. “That you certainly are.”

[anistarrose]

Don’t Hang Up Yet, I’m Not Done (TAZ Balance AU)

Summary: Tres Horny Boys have the Red Robe’s phone number, continued. This time, Merle and Taako make some calls.

Warnings: Dissociation

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18979621/chapters/45066238

A sequel to this fic, which was in turn inspired by this art by @mspainttaz!

***

The next call Barry gets is in the late afternoon several weeks later, and once again, something tells him exactly who’s going to be on the other end of the line before he even moves to pick it up.

(Then again, it’s barely been an hour since he gave Merle that cryptic nod, so it’s not exactly difficult to guess the reason for the call.)

“You saved my kids,” Merle whispers, sounding dumbstruck even now. “Why?”

“I — I just — why wouldn’t I? I had the power to stop innocent people from getting hurt. Of course I saved them.”

“Well, that’s real altruistic of you,” Merle murmurs. Bit by bit, his normal enthusiasm creeps back into his voice as he continues: “Not sure how you’re supposed to reconcile that worldview with making the Relics, though. Too bad I can’t cast Zone of Truth over the stone, ha!”

“Yeah, it’s a real shame,” Barry replies. “Anyways, you need to teach your kids to be more careful. Odds are I won’t be around during the next… freak accident.”

“Yeah, their passive perception stinks,” Merle agrees with a sad laugh. “Or at least Mookie’s does, as much as I love the little fireball. Mavis is a bright little thing when she’s not busy looking after her brother — she reads at a college level, you know! Probably gonna make a hell of a wizard one day!”

“Give it to me like you would under Zone of Truth, Merle — did you call me just to brag about your kids?”

“Don’t tell my boss,” Merle answers in a hushed whisper. “I’ll get my employee phone plan revoked!”

Barry struggles to stifle a laugh. “Merle Hightower Highchurch, calling up the enemy to have a friendly chat? What would the Director think?”

Merle laughs too, the irony lost on him. “You know, you’re a much better conversationalist today than you were the first couple times we met. What’s up with that?”

“Uh… I dunno, social anxiety? How’s life on the moon treating you?”

“It’s got its perks. Apparently the gravity is low enough up there that my spinal cord decompressed, so now I’m a millimeter taller — and trust me, I know it doesn’t sound like much, but we dwarves have to take what we can get!”

“I can imagine.” An idea occurs to Barry — it’s a long shot, but worth a try. “How about the gnomes — are there any gnomes up there? How are they doing with the gravity situation?”

“Well, Leon doesn’t ‘like’ me or ‘the crew I hang with’ so I don’t really talk to him. And Davenport, well…”

Barry very nearly short-circuits his Stone of Farspeech as sparks of magic course through his form and down his sleeves. “What about Davenport? How is he?”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and Barry gets a bad feeling that he came across as a little too invested in Davenport’s well-being.

His fears are confirmed when Merle asks: “What, do you know him?”

“Just heard the name in passing,” Barry lies. “Never met him, but most names from the Bureau that I hear in passing end up belonging to pretty important people. What’s his — what does he do for your operation up there?”

“You know, I’ve never really thought about it before, but — if we could make this our little ‘Truth Zone’ here, for just a second — I’m not really sure why Lucretia hired him in the first place. All he can say is his own name, and he always seems kinda anxious about one thing or another — again, I never know what, since he can’t really talk.”

Barry doesn’t know how to reply.

“Damn good at cards, though! You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find a good game of yooker these days — or even chess, for that matter. You play either?”

“No.” Barry’s pretty sure that Merle and Davenport are the only people in the planar-verse who know how to play the game they’ve dubbed “yooker.” And he doesn’t even want to think about that chess remark.

“Darn. Well, I should probably get going — I can’t miss karaoke night with the boys. We’ve been trying all month to get Lucretia to join us, and she finally let it slip that she hasn’t got anything going on this evening!”

“Oh. Well, uh… don’t let me keep you from that, then. Nice talking to you.”

After he switches his stone off, Barry adds in a whisper: “Wish I could join you.”

***

“Sup, Little Red Riding Robe?”

“Don’t call me that,” the Red Robe groans. From the other end of the line, Taako hears the faint rustling of papers — his call must have interrupted something. He doesn’t feel too bad about it, though.

“What, would you rather be the Big Bad Wolf?” Taako asks. “I thought I was doing you a solid and painting you in a sympathetic light!”

“You know what, fine. Little Red Riding Robe it is,” the Red Robe replies. The hostility in his voice begins to dissipate as he goes on. “Tell me, Taako — is this just another prank call?”

Taako chuckles. “Oh, you wish. See, I stumbled across a piece of info that might just interest you…”

He pauses, waiting to see how the Red Robe reacts, but he’s met with silence.

“I’ve got your number, Riding Robe, idiomatically and literally. So this afternoon I took a quick vacay to the Stone of Farspeech service provider’s offices, cast a few Charm Person spells, and figured out just what name that number was registered to. Pretty clever, huh?”

It might just be Taako’s imagination, but it feels like the silence grows a little more tense.

“Now tell me, who’s this Sildar Hallwinter guy?” he asks. “Is that an alias, or did you just mug a dude and take his phone?”

The Red Robe chuckles. “Huh. That’s some genuinely impressive sleuthing — then again, I should’ve expected as much from you, Taako.”

“Well, uh, to tell you the truth… it was technically Angus’s idea — you ever hear about him? The boy detective? Little snoop was going through my dresser and found the paper I jotted down your number on, and dragged me into this quest to track down your true identity.”

“And does he think this case has been cracked wide open by this new info?”

“No. He’s pretty sure Hallwinter isn’t your real name — and don’t tell him I said this, but I trust him on that one-hundred percent. He’s pretty good with this stuff.”

“What did you really call me about if you’re so sure, then?”

What if she’s just gone?

“Well, I —”

Who?

“I…”

I can’t remember her face, Taako!

Whose face?!

Please, Taako, just kill me!

“Taako? Taako, are you with me?”

He doesn’t feel like he’s with anyone. Even lying on his bed, beneath a pile of heavy blankets he doesn’t remember arranging, he still can’t stop shivering. He’s so cold, and so, so alone.

He clutches the Umbra Staff close to his chest, close to his heart. It’s the only warm thing he can feel.

“Please, Taako, can you say something?” the disembodied voice continues. It sounds like it’s trying very hard to stay calm, and mostly succeeding. “Tell me what’s happening? I have Merle and Magnus’s numbers — I can call them if you need someone to come help —”

It also sounds very familiar, but trying to place it makes Taako feel like he’s teetering over the edge of a void, about to lose his balance and plunge into darkness.

“W-who is this?”

“It’s me, Taako, it’s… it’s the Red Robe.”

Taako’s eyes finally land on the Stone of Farspeech at the corner of his bed, and hesitantly extends a hand towards it. It’s not quite as warm as the Umbra Staff — but it’s certainly not cold, either. He pulls it closer, wrapping his fingers around it.

The Red Robe lets out a short, sad chuckle, which the speaker garbles a little bit. “There are some who call me Little Red Riding Robe. Or Sildar Hallwinter.”

“Sh-shit.” Their earlier conversation returns to Taako quickly, as he tries to sit up in bed. His teeth are still chattering slightly when he tries to speak. “I — I dunno what just happened. I just b-blacked out —”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. It’s not your fault.” There’s a pause. “Hey, do you think you can you tell me a little more about Angus? He seems like a bright kid —”

“He is. B-been picking up magic real fast too. He’s a nosy little shit who never stops asking questions to all two dozen of his adoptive moon parents and I’m so glad Lucretia hired him.”

“He was right about Sildar Hallwinter being an alias, you know. Did he say what tipped him off?”

“He’s got contacts in the police force planetside like you wouldn’t believe. There was hardly anything in any of their files about Sildar, so we talked to Johann and he told us that name never got fed to the Voidfish. From there, Angus just figured that no real person would have that little info about them floating around.”

“Huh. That makes sense. Did Merle and Magnus come along for this adventure, or was it just the two of you?”

“Nah, Magnus was hanging with Carey and Merle was napping. I could hear him snoring from a room away.”

“What about the Director? I’m assuming you didn’t mention this to her?”

“Oh, hell no. She’d throw us straight in the brig if she ever learned how long we’ve had your number without telling her.”

“Yeah, I figured. I trust Merle and Magnus are doing well?”

“Yeah, they’re… well, actually… okay, look. I probably shouldn’t be telling you of all people about this, but something’s been off about Magnus lately. I thought I was imagining it at first, but now I’m pretty sure he’s trying to avoid the Director — which is actually kinda hard these days, since she’s been overseeing our training more and more. And he’s been really awkward around Johann, too. I’ve never seen him like this, and… I’m kinda worried.”

The Red Robe goes silent for a moment. “Well… what happened in Refuge must have been hard on him. I’m sure he’ll feel better soon.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s pretty tough…” Part of Taako feels guilty for revealing so much to the Red Robe, but part of him doesn’t want to hang up. Magnus and Merle are already fast asleep — what if he blacks out again, and no one’s on the phone to talk him out of it?

Then again… is that what the Red Robe is aiming for? To gain Taako’s trust, and act so supportive that Taako can’t help but reveal sensitive information during a late-night, emotionally vulnerable ramble?

No, Barry wouldn’t do that. If he wants information, it’s just because he’s worried about you.

“Well, this has been a great chat, Riding Robe,” Taako says with an exaggerated yawn. “But I’ve got to get to bed. You never know if tomorrow will end up being a long day of saving the world.”

“You do that,” the Red Robe tells him. “And remember, you can always call me back if you need to.”

“I’ll keep it in mind. G’night.”

***

Magnus’s body is gone, and it’s Barry’s fault.

(Strictly speaking, it’s the fault of the Animus Bell. It taunts him even now, tucked safely away in the possession of the Reclaimers, calling to him and promising to ensure his family survives when the Hunger comes. To bring Lup back from whatever worse-than-undeath fate she met. But Barry recognizes enough of his own voice in his Relic to know that it’s lying.)

Barry made the bell, he put it out into a world that was not his own, and both that world and his family paid dearly.

I’m going to find a way to get your body back, Magnus. I promise.

“I think we deserve some answers from you,” Magnus slowly declares, still holding his detached mannequin arm in his remaining hand. Surprisingly, he doesn’t seem angry — just tired.

Oh Magnus, you don’t know the half of it, Barry thinks. He doesn’t say anything, but he nods to Magnus and then holds out his hand, creating an illusory Stone of Farspeech in his skeletal palm.

And one by one, without exchanging any words between each other, the three Reclaimers hand their stones over — first Magnus, slowly and solemnly; then Merle, with a guilty look on his face; and finally Taako, hesitant as he begins to raise his hand but resolute by the time he plucks the stone from his ear.

Barry flicks his hand, and the devices shatter.

“I’ll buy you new ones soon,” he promises. “But let’s get you those answers first.”

[elvensemi]

so how often do you think about the fact that if valesport!ren and steampunk!gareth got invited to the otherworld masquerade they would recognize each other and ren would have a glimpse of the man gareth would be if he weren't a feral murder machine and when she got home she wouldn't remember why but she would look at gareth and some part of her would Know

WOW OKAY SO WE’RE JUST DROPPING THESE INTO MY INBOX FOR MAXIMUM SPLASH DAMAGE NOW HUH 

For those of you who don’t know, the otherworld masquerade is basically an extra-planar party that you can just sort of trip into and hang out in, but once you leave, you forget everything that occurred. It is SUPPOSED to be a SOMEWHAT LIGHT-HEARTED setting where you can have WACKY HIJINX, Kitty. 

Joke’s on you because Valesport!Ren likes her feral murder machine. Steampunk!Ren is something of a genius (even for Rens) and Valesport!Ren would probably suppose that if it weren’t for the fact that Garethgoyle was, you know, figuring this shit out as he went, she probably never would have stood a chance romantically and WAIT NOW I’M JUST MAKING MYSELF SAD IN ANOTHER DIRECTION. How dare you. And she gets upset enough thinking about the raw deal Garethgoyle got, she doesn’t need your help you demon. T_T

It’s for the best that this never happens. Both because of this and your general evil, but also please imagine how distraught every single Ren, but especially Steampunk!Ren, would be by the existence of Cupcake!Ren. None of them need to know that if they are demonstrably and clearly better off for the existence of the multiple shitty men who adopted them for questionable reasons. 

[onelichtwolich]

☽!

god i love this so much here we go

Lup’s been up for… …how long has she been up? Three days, maybe? It’s been lonely. It’s been hard. Certain things flash through her head, like Taako’s face staring back at her as undeniable proof that he was there. And she didn’t know. Certain phrases from the Nightmare Knight. The knowledge that this… …this is a fucking prison.

It’s a prison, and they need to get out. They can’t get out if she’s busy resting. And there’s no point to resting for magic anymore if this stupid place dictates what and when she can cast. So. She’s sleep-deprived to fuck. Crashing. Alone in a dark room. Lonely. Sad.

She starts to send a text. It’s long and rambling and she can barely think through the words.

[txt] -> hey bear. havent been able to sleep lately, guess its everything been going on, kinda meditating tho. listen. i just need you to know how important you are to me. like… yknow how… capns all wild abt the stars guiding us no matter what planar system we wind up in? it might be in a different spot but the right stars always there /? thats us yknow? we go thru a lot of different shit n i gotta say . this is… this is… the most…. ummmmm different. but i know that no matter where we wind up youre. my guiding star in my sky. thanks for being thatt. i love you . we’re gonna get out of here i prokmsie. ill get us out of here i swear

She sends it and she’s crying, a little. She’s too tired for a filter, and no one’s around to see it anyway.

She wipes her eyes.

[cherrygryffon]

I can still fire off the phone numbers of my best friends from age 6, and 16.  I can tell you what kind of tone their voice had when they were happy, sad, and had a snotty nose and bloated crying face.  I can tell you which parts of their bodies were soft, like angel down, and which made them giggle.  I can tell you at what point the feeling between us changed.  And it feels... otherworldly. It feels like a planar shift. It feels... Like you’ve stepped into an Alternate Universe, where you weren’t ever best friends, you didn’t consider moving in with them and living together until you both inevitably found love. Like a world where you were never vulnerable.  But you were. This person has seen you splayed out, flipped, guts hanging off your shoulders, regret of misdeeds swallowing your eyes, and the smell of your first love lost on your skin as they dried your tears.  When I imagine winning the lottery, or making a move in my career that results in great financial gains, they’re on my list of “I’d drop by at 3am when everyone is asleep, and leave a bag of personalized goodies and a card with cash for debts/fun/whatever”.  But I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to be around them. I don’t want to let them close to me again, knowing how it ended. I am a new person, an entirely different whole ass person now, and they don’t get to meet me.  The birthday comment tho, is some REAL shit. Every SINGLE time it rolls around each year, I remember the celebrations, and I think of what I would get them this year. And then I never do, and the next day rolls around, and I get to hug the new people that mean so much to me. :)

I lost every friendship I ever had and it still hurts.

1. Finneas O’Connell / 2. Ocean Vuong / 3. adampvrrish / 4. Otessa Moshfegh / 5. Fairycosmos / 6. Richard Siken / 7. frenchtoastlesbian

[lebannabell]

now for some dnd asks for you!!!! 5, 8, 11, 15

dnd ask meme!~send me qs!~

5. What is your best dice set? I love All My Dice but my first set (chessix blue-green gemini) are probably my most blessed set, they roll high (mostly [that one time i rolled a 3,2, then 3 to climb a tree is still frustrating]) but also they were my first set and a gift and they always remind me of my first character and when I first started playing - which was a really important thing to me because it was something that brought me a lot of joy in a time i was seriously lacking it;;; anygay this got sentimental but those r probably my Best set (but fr tho i love all my dice so much theyre all Significant to me)

8. What does your dream dice set look like? This is a super hard question bc i dont think theres really One Set that would be like my Ideal set? Theres so many options out there and im very weak for a lot of them ( but gods i wish i could get my hands on those kraken cotton candy dice [im gon buy some kraken dice soon but those were limited edition so i guess ill die]) 

11. Have you ever rolled a natural 1? What happened? i have rolled so many nat 1s……. the dice goes into dice jail and is shamed for its villiany.. i trip and shoot myself in the foot instead of the enemy;; Bad Things Happen

15. What is your characters background story? I have seven characters that I play/have played and i know imma write an wild amount so im gonna put this under a cut!

Wren, elf rogue - Mines of Phandelver Wren was raised a member of the high elf House of Naïlo, but as a young girl grew tired of trying to garner the attention of parents who simply didn’t care about their daughter except as a prop for conversation. At the equivalent human age of 15, she ran away from home and made a new life for herself on the streets of Neverwinter. Wren spent the next several decades making her name as a criminal, and honing her skills in thievery, until she picked up a job at the local tavern that led her to her Biggest Adventure(god im so sentimental abt wren she really derailed shit and was such a dick but she was so fun i love her)

Eldan Caridalas, half elf sorcerer - Storm About To BreakEldan grew up in a small village, and went by his child name of Taryn (meaning thunder, inspired by his Wild Magic). He lived a happy childhood, with admittedly, some strange moments brought on by his unpredictable magic, but he got through any difficulties with his best friend and essentially soulmate, Alcea (played by another player in the group! shoutout to ash for working w me to make these beautiful kids lmao). When Eldan was around 14, he had another surge of wild magic,  but this one was far worse than all the others had been (when i was workshopping this with ash and dint know what exactly it was going to be yet we called it “The Big Bad”) - He had been speaking with alceas mother when all of a sudden an intense bolt of fire sprung from him, melting the skin off his left arm, and fatally wounding alceas mother. Eldan, unable to cope with what his supposed gift had done, fled the village without a word to anyone, and spent the next 14 years travelling the land, searching for a way to try and control his magic, to avoid hurting anyone ever again. Eldan eventually found his way to the entrance to the unexplored east lands where he ran into his childhood friend once again(eldan was such a Good boy im still sad about what happened to him he deserved better give me #justice for my boy)Reckoning, tiefling monk - one shot run by my friend claudio b4 he moved interstateReckoning was abandoned on the steps of a temple as a baby once her parents saw the devilish heritage in her. She was raised by monks in a temple to The Raven Queen, and she was trained and charged to become an assassin that took down those who went against the natural order of death. She was on her way to one such mission when she ran into a group of strangers in the woods and after promptly finding out one of them was (supposedly) claiming to be a false god, and pushing them into the nearby well, was lassooed and pulled down there with them to deal with the Creature within(will i ever make a not extra character? no.)Ari, human druid, fighter, and rogue (i know) - one shot battle royaleI was originally just going to make a level 15 barbarian for this one shot (rip ragna one day u might get played) but then i was like;; i may as well make the messiest multiclass i can Ari grew up with his older brother as his guardian, but then his brother was killed in a gang accident, and ari had to learn to fend for himself on the street. After many years of struggle, and losing a younger boy he had begun to think of as family, ari sought shelter in the forests, and had just started to discover the magic held within, when he was conscripted into a battle royale for the amusement of The Council Of ChickensRisk, dragonborn barbarian - Uni one shots (lower levels)Risk is aptly named - she’s willing to do most things others would blanch at for the right reward, which is how she ended up in a mercenary business. This is straight up all the backstory i have for risk that ive nailed down ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ shes hard to really conceptualise a good backstory for, esp bc i didnt know the world that the uni DMs had createdTrix, aasimar rogue - Uni one shots (higher levels)Trix practically raised herself, and by the guidance of her angelic counterpart, she was often driven to do things that left no time for friendship. Tired of living a life that wasn’t fully her own, she struck out to the wealthy area of the city to join the Planeswalkers guild, and has since become an initiate with her own housing in their extra planar facility, and does takes the odd mercenary work that comes her way from her new homeZiarda Lionheart, aasimar bard - Storm About To Breakafter what happened with eldan, i wanted to make a lighter, happier character - with a lot less emotional baggage, and so Ziarda was born. Ziarda has always been driven to do the right thing, and not just by her own morals - but those of her angelic guide. Ziarda was raised by a single mother, who taught her not only the value of beauty and joy in making the world a greater place, but also the practical application of music - in fact ziardas flute used to be her mothers. Ziarda left home at 19 on the will of her heavenly advisor, and joined a travelling carnival, where she could spread joy through her performances. She travelled with them for a few years before the travelled to the east to do a show for the soldiers guarding the entrance to relatively unexplored lands, where she was guided to join a band of weary adventurers in their efforts to stop a widespread cult from destroying civilisation. A lot of my characters backstories get more fleshed out the more i play them and have a better idea of what things could have shaped them to be the people they become? but this is their current Pre Adventure Lore

Yeehaw congrats if you made it this far ur insane i wrote so much i love my kids a lot heres a reward for reading all that, or i suppose, for scrolling to the bottom

Anyway thank u anya for givin me the chance to ramble abt my OCs i love them sm and i love You so much and everyday im so grateful that you gave me the opportunity to play this incredible game and to do the dumb cult joining, plan breaking stunts i pull

[lesbianmichelmishina]

I’M LEGIT GRINNING OH MY GOD. SLOANE AND HURLEY ARE BACK. Technically, there’s still one dead gay around, but Kravitz doesn’t really count for that. Tree gays, flip gays, aesthetic gays.

Oh shit, it’s the Judges! Or one of them, at least. The Judges really should not have killed the IPRE sans Lucretia. Their planar system got totally nommed. 

Lucas’s lab? 

Noelle? She’s... gotta go... No. I know she’s already dead. But I’m still sad, damn it. Noelle don’t leave your lesbian mothers. I mean in fairness this can’t be much worse than getting burnt to death. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR ARM-RIPPING JOKES, NOELLE! :(((((((((((

Hero time... she’s possessing Lucas’s lab and throwing it into the Judge. That is so fucking awesome. Kravitz, you better give her one hell of a welcome. Her and Johann both. They’ve earnt it.

[kinkyshoptea]

still talking about me here on anon instead of dming, boring and cowardly. and again, not in kink, don't use kink tags, nothing like that and all 3 of my instagram accs are 100% sfw and non sexual so me interacting with minors has literally 0 weight to any criticism here. you're making me sound gross when there's no issue. i'm 19, i have a lot of teenage friends because i'm yanno,, a teenager. if you have an issue w kids liking BABY ITEMS bc ur caught up in ur own kink YIKES honey lol. and yes, i'm literally admitting i shouldn't have used stolen art, as recent as november. notice how i haven't posted any new releases? and the mha release was with official manga art, so it's not affecting small artists. notice how i'm also practicing drawing a lot so i can create art for ALL paci shops to use to eliminate this issue as a whole? and the giveaway pacifier, how is it that i'm in the wrong for GIVING AWAY FOR FREE something i wrongfully purchaed that was stolen. i'm not making any fucking profit? would you rather me throw all my supplies away and just create waste? cuz i know you'd criticize me about being stingy or wasteful if i did that. how about you come for the supply shops that sell planars in bulk to dumb kids like me who don't think abt that fact that it's unlicensed art? y'all here are sad as fuck. like genuinely. i read through this blog and it's depressing. people make mistakes, i admit i did. i'm working on it. literally put my only income on hold so i can better myself and come up with a solution that will affect other shops too. what the fuck are you doing to better yourself when you're on this shit tier blog talking mess abt people who aren't even in your community? honestly. (and anyone can use my art on their fucking pacifier. what they're making $10 who cares literally not me so don't try and use that argument)

.

[ghosty-schnibibit]

taz liveshow liveblog :D

i cannot believe i downloaded an rss feed reader specifically for the purpose of knowing when taz updates only for it to not work, smh. at least i didn't see any spoilers lol. here we go! :D

i still really need to listen to commitment...

hells yeah, another liveshow on the 28th :D

HYPE HYPE HYPE

"don't naruto shame them" pfff

"i am prepared and a good good dnd boy!" ilu travis

this is just the "and ___ walks over to ___" scene from the finale all over again, poor griffin lol

the story hasn’t even started and already i’m feeling super nostalgic... i wanna do a fourth re-listen so bad, fuuuck

"the THREE OF YoOoU" griffin is so salty already this is gonna be good

i like crush already 

fantasy burt bacharach lol

"sleeveless tuxedo" MAGGIE

"tuxedo sleeves!" M E R L E

merle the beach dwarf in his swimmy trunks :')

he sounds like gundren omfg

LUP LUP LUP :D

THE BREAK IN MUSIC YEEEAH 

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO GOOD AAAAAAAAAA

"played by al pachino" B)

"it's a little assertive" pfff

i love the idea of lup and taako both studying transmutation together as lil kids and lup just being like "nah, this can be your thing koko i'll be over here blowing shit up"

"greg FUCKIN grimauldes" ilu lup 

"my moral guide, merle highchurch" merle continuing to be the dad of ipre

"maybe?" IT'S YOUR HOME PLANE, YES IT PROBABLY COUNTS

FUCKIN CHARACTER VOICES

so we're looking at a null suit situation here, cool, cool

this raises so many questions though, like... could they visit other planes that got fucked over by the hunger? like the animal kingdom? taz knights? legato? would those planes have heard the story and song broadcast since they were inside the hunger at the time, or no? are they still super fucked up or are they just plugging along like they would have been otherwise? because the set up for this show implies time has passed in their home planar system after the hunger disappeared and jeffandrew put everything back in order, and that lup somehow knows that this has happened in their absence... has she used the belt before, and that’s how she knows? are the planes where they escaped with the light (fungsten, the beach, tessaralia, etc.) accessible too, or did they just get left behind in the multiverse after the hunger passed over them? i'm assuming lucas made the belts (or probably a combo of lucas and barry? planar studies nerd buddies), so how do they work? magic? bonds? what would happen if they broke mid-use? would they be stuck in their old plane with no way to get back? this is such a weird but good setup and it makes for a shit ton of fic possibilities

i have no idea what that means but it sounds bad

oh nooo, maggie, oh nooooo

"well... slam" griffin what is it with these names

aww, crush :(

i ship crush and slam

magnus what the fuck

i can't wait to see how that table flip works later lol

TAAKO ILU 

"NINETEEN!" aww travis i love you

ewwwww, this is worse than the beach episode :(((

TAAKO WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK

"old blue eyes...?" griffin said that with that 'are you sure?’ dm voice and that makes me super nervous

"i don't know 'cause i wasn't expecting him this early" i'm calling it know, griffin's either gonna do his super gruff gundren voice or his bad new jersey accent marvey voice

IT'S THE MARVEY VOICE, I CALLED IT

AND NOW IT'S JUSTIN DOING GRIFFIN'S MARVEY VOICE

NAT 20!!! :D

"THE REAL NICE CHOICE MOPS" I’M DEAD

they never would have thought to do that on their own lol, lup playing the part of competent woman this adventure

continuing the trend of magnus being mr. fanservice lol

"lots of beautiful scars" nice

okay i have to know tho... was the tattoo pre or post stolen century??? because i love the idea of it being something he got in his youth without realizing he'd be stuck with it for 100+ years, but i also love the idea of him and julia getting matching tattoos together at some point

MERLE WHAT THE FUCK

"I CAST PUNCH DAD" 

"WheEeEREe?"

lup and taako just chilling in the corner playing pokemon go

magnus turns himself in samus lol

clint continuing to be the worst at rolling, aww

"i had no muber prepared for... this" poor griffin lol

"it... worked?" pfff

IS THAT CATWALK BOY JERALD

okay, it's not catwalk boy jerald then :T 

good to see griffin's not defaulting straight to jerry like he always does lol

wait shit, if they're in their original plane... is terry gonna recognize them from the IPRE mission???

"GEORGE CLUVEY" 

TAAKO WHAT THE FUCK

"THE THIEVERY KID" T A A K O

this is just like jenkins with the voice lol

merle doing his accidentally insincere voice again

"oh shit we did do this in the mining one” did griffin forget his own puzzle?

oh no... this can't be good

#I'mWithTerry

are you really casting arcane eye for this taako?

T U R K E Y  B O Y

clint the pun master strikes again

i take it griffin’s been playing evil within 2 with the whole chip mechanic

"i could kill him" MERLE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

welp, they're all dead :T

BARRY WITH FUCKIN HOT CHOCOLATE, I’M D Y I N G

LUP I FUCKIN LOVE YOU HOLY SHIT

"THAT'S MY SISTER!" TAAKO ILU

"my words are my pictures!" griffin you are precious

this is the tomb of horrors all over again with the puzzles

justin's killing it today witht the nat 20s damn

"rouge perversions" pfff

all i can imagine is magnus telling carey about his sweet chest trap diffusal later and her being proud of her bff

travis the music boy strikes again!

oh jesus this is going to take a million years

"it's not the letters" then what is it?

i’m a dipshit too than lol because i have zero idea what this is

so it's just like the scene form the bank in refuge

GO MERLE! :D

"yeah, elevators, fuck yeah" nice

so now magnus just has a workshop full of gold :/

GLASS SHARK, GLASS SHARK

“NOT SOMETHING MY DAD SHOULD KNOW ABOUT” PFFFFF

"oh fuck" my thoughts exactly travis

OH SHIT 

OH CHIRST IT'S LIKE UPSY MECH

LUUUUUP FUCK YEAH, THERE'S MY GIRL :D

i missed the ad break music :')

i can't fuckin wait til the candlenights show omg

yay, initiative time!

DELLA!!!!! :D

what would that even look like holy fuck

yikes holy shit, can't wait to see how lup reacts to her brother getting dunked on so badly 0 _ 0

MAGGIE YOU CANNOT RAILSPLITER THIS SHIT IT’S NOT AN ACTUAL TREE, THIS HAS BEEN FIRMLY ESTABLISHED

apparently he CAN railspliter that shit, nevermind :o

awww, this is so freakin cute omg ^u^

"that's taako's fire" maggie plz :T

i thought his ac went up after story and song though?

taako's gonna fucking die holy shit

YES YOU CAN TAAKO YOU DUMBASS

"but he WAS at magnus's bedside" FUCK NOW I'M SAD :’(

"WHO, LUP?" STOP ZAGGING ON PLANT DAD

"as a sentient being who want's to preserve it's own life" pfff

griffin always forgets to make enemies beefy enough for magnus and/or taako to not kill instantly lmao

everyone loves lup so much lol

SAME HAT? SAME HAT! SAME HAT...

"awww... no, no... do i have to specify?" i love the idea that merle would be tempted to heal the monster, he’s such a sweety

OH SHIT

OH FUCK MAGNUS’S IS TOAST

I T ' S  T H E  S E X  N U M B E R ! ! !

"what? chicken butt" griffin ilu

yikes trav holy fuck

YAY WORD PICTURE TIME

YEEEAH THAT'S SO FUCKIN GOOD, THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT

"COTTON!" omg you silly boy

what are you about to do merle

ZONE OF TRUTH YEEEEEAH

clint is crushing it on the merle voice today

"i liked the ending of lost" pfff

WHAT THE FUCK MAGNUS, WHAT THE FUCK

WAIT WHAT

TERRY HOLY SHIT

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK

GRIFFIN WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

that was super feckin good omg, i loved every minute of that. that was exactly what i needed to de-stress before my world history final tomorrow, gods bless

[thatboomerkid]

Dude, you make the coolest creatures and feats~! I wish I could convince my DMs to let me use homebrew feats, but... *raspberry noise* (I used the Nothing-Sand Girl over the weekend in one of my games. It was almost a TPK, but everyone seemed pretty pleased with the outcome. Such shenanigans came from everyone's varied "OH SHIT" reactions! I dunno, I thought you might want to know? She is your creation...)

Huzzah!

Seriously, how could I not want to know that? :)

I’ll admit that I’m quite proud of the Nothing-Sand Girl, and I’m truly delighted to hear about her deadly, hero-slaying adventures … even if she only has 18 notes, a paltry sum compared to Happy – now at nearly 50! – and The Ghost Rider, closing-in as-we-speak on a cool 200.

… and, wait. How does the freaking War-Fairy, of all my damn creations, have almost 100 notes – even more than the Iron Horse of Abaddon! – while Amaana Qaruun and Sir Aalamure Ye-Saviith and Rides-on-Storms-and-Whirlwinds are all somehow stuck below 15 notes apiece?

This site honestly makes no goddamn sense to me.

ANYWAY: I’m overjoyed to learn that the Nothing-Sand Girl provided an interesting & exciting challenge to your players; she’s meant to be a weird villain, more than anything else, so I’m glad she delivered!

Assuming that your players killed her, I hope you’ve already got a post-death version of her, with the Entropic Template applied, ready to be called to service via the planar binding spell. She makes a great recurring villain, always hovering invisibly around the perimeter of any fight that you suddenly want (or need!) to beef up, especially as an ally to spellcasters.

For example: a clever spellcaster who has charmed the Nothing-Sand Girl could use unwilling shield, either assuming that she’ll fail the save or simply commanding her to voluntarily do so. Beyond that, the caster could cast right through her -- she doesn’t really block line of sight -- while using the Nothing-Sand Girl as a mass of “blocking” terrain: don’t rush in to tackle that caster in melee, or you’ll wind up right in the middle of the engulf!

On the topic of my creatures & feats: 99.9% of my creations are meant for GMs, since GMs don’t have to ask for permission before incorporating homebrew material … and while I’m sad that your GM doesn’t allow them, I’m excited that you get to play with them at YOUR table.

Thanks for writing in, and I look forward to hearing many more thrilling tales of awesome baddies (including mine!) menacing your stalwart heroes.