#my partner laughs at the time/energy i put into my blog but i really is a hobby on its own

[good-beans]

Do you mind explaining your reblog/queue process?

LMAOO I assure you it is no way efficient and also I haven't been able to stop using this method asfgvg

Basically I love scrolling tumblr in tiny moments that I get between work and tasks, and usually don't have time/mental energy to write out tags. But I want to ;-; Whether it's a huge rant or the same repeating "this is cool!" I wanna say something to show there's a human being that enjoyed this art/idea/meme :) So I save everything as drafts to take time with when I have a longer break. I feel bad that my excitement/participation in tag games is so delayed, but usually it's only a week or so. Usually I get to a few low hundreds and go through everything in one or two sittings, but this past time I just kept getting busy/feeling burned out so it got uhhhh really big 😭

If I'm posting my own stuff or feel extra motivated I'll jump the queue and post things right away, but otherwise I try to keep everything queuing in the order I saved it. Whether it's perfectionism or not wanting to show preference, I really enjoy things in order. While I'm queuing I don't save new posts -- I'll go through my likes at the end so everything is in order.

However, sometimes I say screw the order (like this time) if there's so many that will take me extra time. I want to take time searching up and listening to songs mentioned, reading longer things attached, or just I don't have my Smart Brain on and want to contribute to analysis. In that case I'll shuffle it as I go!

[libbee]

Self development series: It is almost impossible to know how others perceive you.

For a trauma survivor, social circle can be a tough nut to crack. Whether they are in classroom or with family or on a date or on social media, they are always worrying what others think about them. They would not consciously know but their behaviour shows they are trying to impress others/mould their opinion/desperate for likes dislikes views. What happened in offline world before is now visible on social media clearly. When their self esteem is terribly low, no achievement or external validation is ever enough. They are always unsure of themselves. Even for a non trauma survivor, people's perception is impossible to find out. Some might think that this post and blog are thoughtful or deep, while others might think that I am a complete dumbass and a noise. Even my choice of words, language, tone of writing and your own life stage, experience, perception will affect your judgment - it is that multidimensional how mind works.

While it is important to trust your own perception about the world, it is, at the same time, very hard, or even impossible, to know how others perceive you. You might think in your mind that others look down upon you/think you are boring/think you are ugly/think you are lazy, but do you actually know what they really think of you? A tyrannical parent is someone who controls their children, tells them lies about the world, tells them lies about themselves. "You are not that good", "You could have done better, there is nothing to celebrate", "Yeah, I see you got that degree, you must be too proud now". The parent does not even know they are downright invalidating their child, they just think that they are normal. A low self esteem girl is hungry for male approval. She will put down other women, compete with other women, but live in complete denial of her deep seated insecurity.

I have read through many resources but could not find one legitimate answer for "how to know others' perception of me?" The only answer was "ask them". Well, how would you ask others what they think about you? They might lie. And how many people in the world will you approach? You are barely around 100 people in daily life. You are only left with assumptions about YOURSELF.

Different people have different priority. Scorpios want deep intimate partner so they might think fwb situation is risky and stupid. Gemini want fast intellectual stimulation so they might think that quiet people are boring and uninteresting. Aries are leaderly and dominating so they might think that spiritual ones are lazy and unambitious. How many people will you "prove" yourself to? If your self esteem is low enough, you might as well overcompensate for it by really getting out of your way to flaunt, show off, sneakily post that shiny car in your story.

When we act out of low self esteem, we think that we have actually done something - while we may have just made a fool of ourselves in reality. For example, when I was in school and was the queen of gutter-land-self-esteem, I would be class clown, sarcastic, quick, witty (I am gemini moon). I made others laugh and that gave me massive validation... for 2 minutes. Then I would again wait for the next opportunity to tell jokes and feed on laughter for validation. So on, everyday. Validation seeking at school took so much of my energy that when I came back home I would be exhausted, tired and had mood swings.

If scientists invent a mirror in future that somehow answers "tell me, mirror on the wall, what does xyz think of me?" I think this gadget will break the market. Until then, we just have to live with self development and inner work. Recent example is Andrew Tate. All of us who are self aware would know how insecure this man was. His self improvement talks were just not enough when his complete philosophy was so self destructive. He might appear rich, give confident facial expressions, do podcast by citing biological instincts of men, but we can see how hard he was trying to manipulate other people's opinions about him. This is a case of unevolved person, someone who is unaware and in complete denial.

I can see insecurities in Andrew Tate because I have been there, done that. Same for any other celebrity who appear wise on social front - but are terribly insecure on personal front, when they are alone by themselves.

This underatanding will set you free and give you more time and energy to focus on your inner life. You might as well break the intergenerational cycle. Knowing the limitations of your brain will set you free. I believe that active imagination might help one to see how their character appears to others. You are, after all, collective unconscious, but that would require years of inner work.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Personalization Prompt #2 – Eternitas

Using the second personalized prompt for Lou over @eternitas! Again, this is a grade A human being who brings a lot of support to this blog, so thank you 😊 And I hope you enjoy!

BLACK: what face claim from an anime, comic book, or cartoon do I associate with you?

Honestly, as with a lot of my followers, I really do associate you with your pfp! I don’t know who they are, but putting them aside and really thinking about it, I guess the closest I come to a face claim that I picture as you would have to be Haruka Tenoh from Sailor Moon! I feel like you have a very androgynous look, plus they give off the same sort of elegant vibe, the smile, and the colouring I imagine for you in my head, if that makes any sense.

WHITE: what flame type and box weapon do I think you’d have in the khr!verse?

So, I don’t know which of the personalized prompts will come out first, just due to the fact that I do shuffle the queue every time I add a new post to it, so not even I know when anything is coming out. Due to that, I will say that, as you’ll see in the other personalized prompt I did for you, I strongly headcanon you as a Lightning Flame type with secondary, weaker Rain Flames. As for a box weapon, I do strongly imagine a Lightning Bear box as your box weapon of choice, particularly a black bear. Going just with the symbolic meaning of bears as spirit animals, they tend to represent strength, protective power, courage, motherly love and care, healing and protection, an affinity for solitude and well developed powers of introspection and a strong grounding influence and I don’t know how to explain why, but a lot of those really do feel the vibe I get from you!

RED: what aesthetics do I associate with you?

Stars shining brightly against a pitch black sky, tracing the patterns in them with a fingertip. Hands on a video game controller, smiling and laughing and being so eager to see what happens in the game next. True love. Honesty, being true to yourself and your values. Choosing kindness. Theatre curtains falling on a stage, the audience applauding and standing. Creativity and passion. La vie boheme. Good food, conversations and laughter and memories made with friends and family at the table.

BLUE: what are three songs I’d put on a playlist for you?

TRUE TO YOUR HEART, 98˚& Stevie Wonder – this one has totally become very much something that reminds me of your love story you’ve shared with me between you and your partner 😊

PIANO FIGHTS, 65daysofstatic

WALK LIKE A GENTLEMAN, eye alaska – both of these two just fit vibes wise, without taking into account the lyrics. They both have an energy combined with some very soft and relaxing vibes where both songs make you wanna be active but make you smile and untense at the same time and that fits – you always make me smile and get excited to reply and do things!

YELLOW: what fictional world out of all my fandoms would I picture you in?

It’s definitely KHR. Not only is KHR just such a huge fandom and a universe that I love, so I of course imagine all my readers in it at some points, even if it’s not the fandom we share, but KHR is probably the fandom we talk about together the most! If I’m not picturing you in KHR though, then I’m picturing you in K Project for obvious reasons!

GREEN: who would I pair you with out of all my fandoms?

In KHR, it’s Gokudera. In K Project, it’s Seri. In Nanbaka, it’s Hajime. In Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun!, it’s Opera. In Bungou Stray Dogs, it’s Fukuzawa. In Servamp, it’s Gear. In Saiyuki, it’s Sanzo. In Eyeshield 21, it’s Rui. In Ronin Warriors, it’s Sage. In Kekkaishi, it’s Masamori. In GetBackers, it’s Kazuki. In Black Cat, it’s Saya. In Karneval, it’s Gareki. In Gangsta., it’s Constance. In Bleach, it’s Urahara. In Naruto, it’s Suigetsu. In Deadman Wonderland, it’s Nagi. In Ouran, it’s Mori. In Durarara!!, it’s Shizuo. In Yu Yu Hakusho, it’s Touya. In Gintama, it’s Gintoki. In Mystic Messenger, it’s Saeran. In Ikemen Revolution, it’s Luka. In Blush Blush, it’s Volks. In Date Warp, it’s Alben. In Hatoful Boyfriend, it’s Yuuya. In The Outsiders, it’s Ponyboy. In Class of the Titans, it’s Odie. In Ultimate Spider-Man, it’s Peter. In Gravity Falls, it’s Ford. In The Covenant, it’s Pogue. In The Mighty Ducks, it’s Julie. In Jungle Fury, it’s Casey. In Ninja Storm, it’s Shane. In Mystic Force, it’s Vida.

PURPLE: what gif reminds me of you?

PINK: if you were an AU, what type of AU would you be?

Oh, this one was hard because there were so many thoughts! In the end, I do think it would be a crossover AU of some sorts, where the characters from a fandom are set into another more fantastical or supernaturally themed world, and I do think there’d have to be a real grittiness and heaviness to the story contrasted by sparkling light hearted and cute moments that make you laugh and smile. Those light moments to me really reflect who you are to talk to, how accepting and fun and interesting you are, but the heaviness and dark themes give great nods as to how you’re never afraid to really tackle the serious topics with the respect they’re due.

RAINBOW: if i were to write a khr sequel, following Tsuna’s demise, and could only use my reader’s as characters, who would you be?

I do see you as being part of the Vongola. A competent Lightning Flame user, you’re not only a good strategist but part of the information network of the Vongola, a sort of master of disguise who uses their well-honed acting skills to become different people as situations call for it, doing the fieldwork as a spy and gathering important intelligence for the family.

[virgolife6]

what does asteriod kitty conjunct MC and mars in capricorn in the 10th house mean?? i love your blog btww 🥺🥺🖤

ummm...girl i love YOUR BLOG!! i've literally seen u around a few times and ur persona chart ports are amazing, keep it up!! im suprised your asking me this bc ur super knowledgeable!! im following u now 🥺🥺🖤 so with kitty conjuncting the MC in cap in the 10th house, (im going to assume your mc and mars are also in cap) this could mean that you're very alluring to others. you may be super independent and like your partners to be dominating. you'd prob make a good femme fatale. you might also attract many people in your workplace. they could have good or bad intentions. you're a super confident person and people don't really see you as stuck up or a "try hard." acting sexual may also come very naturally to you. the fact that kitty is in cap, in the 10th house (ruled by cap), and conjunct the MC (the 10th house ruled by cap again 😂) just reinforces everything. thats like triple capricorn energy lol. kitty conjuncting your mars to me means you can be a very hot-headed person but in an attractive way. when your angry or trying to be serious about something, people will laugh it off and just think you're trying to be playful. this is a turn on for most people. others may like when you're defensive and trying to stand up for yourself. most likely will get away with things that others usually wouldn't. when you're in your workplace while putting that marsian energy to work is when you're the most feminine to others. I really hope this helped you in some way and could resonate with something!! thank you for reading and loving my blog !! appreciate u xo 😋 @lynxastrology

[ladymarycrawley]

Ho postato 5.736 volte nel 2022

Sono 1.142 post in più del 2021!

921 post creati (16%)

4.815 post rebloggati (84%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@johnstonesfc

@masnmount

@mountzka

@bluemoonstonesy

@errythinisblue

Ho taggato 4.716 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 18% dei miei post non aveva tag

#mason mount - 1.856 post

#fashion - 982 post

#john stones - 796 post

#my rants - 307 post

#reading list - 174 post

#england nt - 116 post

#trent alexander arnold - 104 post

#naomi campbell - 98 post

#ruben dias - 82 post

#football fics - 78 post

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i'd probably have to pull myself together not to brag about my handsome partner and being angry af when he doesn't get enough playing time

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

I know you too well - Mason Mount

Request: Can you write one with mason where your boy (4 years old) asked you to call his daddy because he misses him and wants to talk to him and then when you’re at the phone he asked you if you can let him talk to his daddy on his own, he tells Mason that you’re not feeling very well but at the end you’re pregnant

Tag list: @masonxomount​ @chelsealover​

The days where Mason was forced to stay away from you because of his hectic working schedule were the worst ever. Especially lately, since you had been feeling particularly tired due to your working shifts and taking care of your 4 year old son, Y/S/N. He was the light of your life, always bringing the most happy smiles to your face, exactly like his dad.

He also inherited his father’s energy and love for football so sometimes it became quite stressful keeping up with him: in the morning you would drop him at the nursery, then, when you didn’t have papers to fill out or chores to do, you did play with him until it became time to prepare something to eat for dinner.

You thought work and your full time job as a mum were the things to blame for your particularly tired state.

“Mummyyyy” Y/S/N came running to you, who were trying to rest a bit before doing the laundry.

“Yes, baby?”

“When will daddy come back?” He was such a daddy’s boy, if it were up to him he would have followed him everywhere.

“A couple of days, sweetheart. Do you miss him?”

Your boy put on a sad pout, nodding to your question.

A sad smile appeared on your face, as it made you so miserable seeing one of the two boys of your life like that.

“Come here” You took him in your arms to place him in your lap. You cuddled him in your arms, placing sweet kisses on his head and looking at his face, a perfect mix of yours and Mason’s best features.

“We could call him so you could tell him about your day at school while eating the chocolate cookies mummy baked just for you. What do you think?”  

Your words put him in a better mood, as he nodded with a happy smile this time, making you smile too.

You grabbed your phone from the armrest of the sofa you were sitting on and searched for Mason’s number to dial on Facetime. You placed another kiss to your giggling baby before setting the phone on the cafe table before you so you could hold your son on your lap.

“Hey daddy!”

“My favourite people ever! How are you?” Mason’s beaming smile welcomed you. He was resting on his bed, his right arm holding his head against the headboard.

“We’re fine, what about you?” You answered, looking at your son then to his father.

“Daddy I miss you” Y/S/N confessed in a soft voice, fiddling with the drawstring of his grey sweatpants, matching with the one Mason got.

You let out a soft laugh as you pressed a kiss to his soft cheek.

“I miss you too bud but I’ll be back on friday, I promise!”

“We did a lot of drawings at school today and the teacher said mine were the best in the class!”

“Really?? I can’t wait to see them, I’m so proud of you!”

Your son’s features light up at his dad’s words, he was literally his everything, he was his hero and the fact that all his classmates would have him as their idol made his love for his parent grow even more.

“Go and grab that beautiful drawing you did of your grannies, I’m sure daddy will love it!”

“Hey”

Y/S/N jumped down from your lap and ran towards his room to take it, making you and Mason laugh out loud.

It was also a way to let you two have a little moment of intimacy.

“Hey”

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498 note - Postate 21 febbraio 2022

#4

Mc Flurry Mount - Mason Mount

Request: Hey can you write one with mason where y/n is pregnant and she wanted ice cream in the middle of the night so she wakes up mason and then , they went to a late night drive 😂

Warning: none, just fluffy dad! Mason

Tag list: @masonxomount​ @chelsealover​

Here you go again. Another pregnancy craving. In the middle of the night.

This time your craving is so specific you can't just walk down to your kitchen, open the cupboard and scoff down some chocolate biscuits or other random things. You crave McDonald's Mc Flurry ice cream, preferably with that dark chocolate topping and hazelnut grains. The mouth-watering idea of that treat is such a persistent idea in your mind that going on with your sleep is literally impossible. 

The only problem is that you have to wake Mason up to drive you to the place where your craving could be satisfied, that is to say the nearest McDonald’s.

"Mase please, wake up. I don't want our baby to be born with a Mc Flurry shaped birthmark"

"Mase? Mase? Mason?? Tony??" You call him, shaking him a little as you try to wake him up since he is sound asleep, snoring.

Having to wake him up makes you feel so miserable.

Finally Mason stirs a bit and groans.

"Fuck, it's just 3 AM…"

"Y/N…what time is it?" He asks groggily, without being able to open his eyes that are still heavy with sleep.

Mason moves his arm clumsily to reach for his phone on the bedside table. 

A louder and frustrated groan leaves his lips as he reads the time written in the white font on the display.

"I'm sorry, babe but I'm craving ice-cream really bad…"

“There isn’t any ice-cream in the freezer?”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes, letting them adjust to the light coming from your phone. The tired midfielder rests his weight on his elbow, as he tries to look at your figure in the dark.

You look back at him , smiling as you take in his perfect body; you don’t need the light to help you trace his profile, you know him by heart and you will never get tired of him.

“No, baby, we don’t have any Mc Flurry in the house” You giggle at his pointless question. “We need to drive to McDonald’s to get it…oh look! If we order an Oreo Mc Flurry and some donuts we’ll get 20% off!”

“Amazing…” Mason doesn’t sound as excited as you are while scrolling through the restaurant’s app, looking for some coupons.

“Please baby, I’m craving those so bad your baby is kicking so hard”

“Did she start kicking??” 

You’ve entered the fourth month of your pregnancy almost two weeks ago and your baby should start kicking at any given moment and you, especially Mason, are eagerly waiting for that moment to arrive. In order to persuade him to get up from your bed and get you that ice-cream you decide to pretend your daughter started kicking.

“Not yet, silly” You chuckle at his excited reaction, running your hand through his messy hair, as he rushes to place his ear on your belly trying to hear something.

As he realizes you just made fun of him he gets up and looks at you so badly you fear for your life, if only looks could kill.

“Come on, get dressed” Mason orders you as he lazily takes a jumper that can go with his joggers, together with a pair of sunglasses.

“What are you doing with those? It’s pitch black outside!” 

“I don’t want people to recognize me or paparazzi shooting pics of us getting some ice-cream”

“World doesn’t revolve around you, superstar”

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515 note - Postate 3 aprile 2022

#3

Forehead kisses in Monaco - Mason Mount

Request: it’s the first time mason show you off in an event ( obviously the f1 one here ) and you’re too shy and he just found this the cutest ever , also not leaving your side all the day and kissing your forehead at any chance 🥺

Warning: Mason being the cutest boyfriend ever 

Tag list: @masonxomount @chelsealover​

Getting used to your boyfriend being a celebrity was not the easiest thing ever, even less when he’s one of the most promising football talents of the moment and everybody would follow his every step.

Despite all of this, Mason tried to act as normal as possible, as he knew that kind of world wasn’t your thing at all: you were so shy the sight of a camera only could make you really nervous.

He loved you so much he just wanted what’s best for you so he tried to keep you away from the spotlight as much as he could but you knew the moment he would show you off would have arrived sooner or later. That happened during the weekend where he was invited to Monaco for the F1 Grand Prix that would take place in the namesake Principality.

You were really looking forward to that weekend, seeing a new place in the company of the person you loved the most, but you were also kind of frightened because of your introverted self.

The first day you got there you started off with a boat trip in the bay of Montecarlo, where you tried to bask in the warm sun shining on your skin as well as the droplets of salty water gushing out and ending up on your arms.

In the meanwhile Mason was busy taking some pics for the sponsorship he was working with.

He took a seat right in front of you. 

You looked at him through the dark lenses of your sunglasses, admiring his body clad in that simple but hot look that was the Rhude checkered shirt, with a black top underneath and black jeans. He always looked like an angel to you, the hottest angel, those days even more if that was possible.

When your eyes met his, Mason grinned and called it a wrap. He got closer to the spot where you were sitting, the sunshine gracing your soft skin.

"Hey, are you enjoying it so far?"

"Yeah, I mean I love seeing you getting a whole photoshoot"

"I can make one for you too" He took his phone out of his pocket and started taking pictures of you, obviously a lot of ugly and blurry pictures. 

"Mase stop that!" You laughed as you tried to cover the camera with your hand.

"I'm working, let me work in peace!" He leant forward to kiss your forehead. 

That impromptu shooting ended when one of the staff members that organized the Monaco trip told you to get ready because you were going to get off the boat.

As soon as you got down Mason held your hand firmly in his, as you walked behind him.

You tried to focus on how happy Mason looked, the interest he showed while talking to the Red Bull drivers as you tried to fake a smile.

Even though you were mentally prepared for what would have happened in Monaco, like paps, fans, camera flashing and so on, you were visibly annoyed while, on the other hand, your boyfriend was apparently enjoying it.

You were really thankful for your sunglasses in the moment, otherwise you would have glared at literally anyone. 

Apart from the cameras, another thing that made you kind of nervous was that posh and new place, where you were supposed to meet a lot of new people and that was a really hard task given that you were really shy.

Mason knew you very well and he was really glad you decided to overcome your fears to go with him to such a huge event. That's why he never let go of his hold on your hand, brushing his thumb in the space between your own thumb and your forefinger. 

"They must think you're one of those guys who can't leave his girlfriend alone for a minute, or more likely they will think I'm a whiny, spoiled baby who only wants to be with her rich boyfriend" You blurted out as you were taking a stroll around the race track. 

"What?" Mason stopped for a moment and excused himself, as he noticed you were getting a bit too stressed. He took you to a more secluded place, where you could relax and talk for a moment.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

You were seated opposite to each other, you on a glass coffee table and he on a light wooden chair.

Even though your eyes were looking down towards the ground, you knew Mason's was right on your face. His hands were gently placed on your knees, his fingers lightly tapping the underside of your thighs.

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620 note - Postate 2 giugno 2022

#2

Beautiful boy - Mason Mount

Request : You are 5 almost 6 months pregnant and you found out you will have a baby boy. So you guys spend the week over at his family. After a day out, which tired you more than usual, you and mason head to his bedroom to get ready for bed as everyone went to bed. While Mason has a football game as background on tv ; he is scrolling through his phone. You are cuddled into his side with your back against his chest  , scrolling too on your phone and Mase is craddling your baby bump. You found some pictures from Ben’s birthday party, Christmas&New years Eve that you spent with his family as well some pictures from a mini holiday just you two for his birthday. You are like “Omg” and Mase panicks that something happened to you and the baby. You show him all the pictures and he was clueless at what you are hinting at. You are like” Its the fact that I was growing our baby boy and didn’t even know it”. He then gets all cocky and goofy. But then is all soft. Just all cute and fluff (requested by @raremasey )

Warning: a tiny bit of sexual innuendos but, apart from that, it's all so fluffy

Tag list: @masonxomount​​ @chelsealover​ @masterclassbaby​​

“I’m stuffed”

“They say you have to eat for two now”

“Well, I feel like I’ve eaten for the three of us actually”

Mason laughed, closing your bedroom’s door behind him.

That week you were guests at his parents' as it was nearly Christmas and Debbie wanted to have all the family gathered around to spend the most wonderful time of the year together, that desire being stronger since you and Mason were expecting your first baby and she wanted to spoil you the best she could while living what they say to be the happiest moment in a woman's life. That day in particular turned out to be especially tiring as you spent all the morning and part of the afternoon out for some Christmas shopping, looking for presents and that kind of things, and then went to have dinner at the nicest restaurant in Portsmouth. Needless to say by the end of the day, you were so tired you wanted to see nothing but your bed.

“God, I’m bloated” You whined in front of the full-length mirror hanging on the wall that was showing you the body of a six months pregnant woman wrapped in an elegant dark blue, wrap velvet dress.

“Don’t blame it on the dinner now” The sarcastic jab about your condition your boyfriend just whispered in your neck while hugging you from behind, won him a glare as you batted his hands away from around your stomach.

“That’s all your fault” You muttered, pointing your finger at him.

“My fault?” He chuckled in disbelief “It takes two to tango, babe”

It was crazy how a simple item like a ring could awake such powerful feelings.

His answer left you without anything to retaliate with which was quite unusual for you.

As you stood before the wooden desk that you would use as a table top to leave the jewels you were taking off, you stopped thinking of something to say when your eyes fell on the eternity ring Mason gave you to celebrate the news of your pregnancy: it was a beautiful band ring in platinum with a circle of diamonds all around.

It became a sort of a ritual to admire that symbol of love every time you would let it twirl around your finger or take it off. Just by looking at it you would feel all the love, the overwhelming emotions you felt the moment you opened the small box before his impatient eyes.

“So? You don't have anything to say?” 

He got closer to you and placed a silent kiss on your cheek, moving the hair falling down your shoulder behind your back. His fingers moved to your back to unzip your dress, knowing you would have appreciated him helping you with what had become a difficult action to do lately.

“Nope” You said under your breath as you kept your stare fixed on the shiny thing in your hands. Mason tilted his head to the side as he was trying to get his head around what was going on with you, why your mood changed all of a sudden.

His eyes landed on the ring too, smiling as he grasped what was going on in your head at that moment.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded in response, giving him a quick peck on the tip of his nose.

The smile you gave him when you nodded confirmed Mason what he thought was going on in that pretty head of yours was right but you weren't the kind of person to talk out loud about such moments that made you feel the most intense emotions. He knew that and it was alright, he wouldn’t have forced you, he just needed to know you were alright.

“Move over” You mimicked him to move away so you could take your usual seat between his legs, earning a giggle from him.

As you left him to get in your en suite bathroom to get changed for the night, he sat on the bed of the guest room you were staying in and turned on the tv to catch up on the latest news from the football world which meant watching that day’s highlights as well as gaffers and fellow players’ interviews.

Those past months you had been living with your other half growing your unborn baby, surrounded by the people that were most important to you, instilled a sense of gratitude in your heart which was so strong it made you feel at peace with the world, as if nothing bad could ever happen. Mason was proving to be the loveliest life companion, always ready to meet your needs despite his heavy agenda, as well as his family. You had always been among those people who thought they couldn’t trust other people other than their own family but in that case you had to change your mind as the Mounts were being really supportive.

The natural consequence of those serene thoughts was the soft smile that curved your lips, that never ceased to leave your lips, not when you brushed your make-up remover pad over your painted lips nor when you left your classy attire to change into a more comfortable one for the night.

When you were ready, you joined your boyfriend in your bedroom and smiled at the sight of him sprawled on the bed all cozy with his ruffled hair, in his grey sweatpants and jumper look you loved so much on him.

“Come here” He sat with his back against the headboard so could use his chest as your backrest, as you would usually like to do when having your little, sweet moments of cuddles and pillow talk before going to sleep.

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674 note - Postate 25 ottobre 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

Mummy was mine first - Mason Mount

Request: I have a request of a drunk Mason with his newly pregnant girlfriend - him getting all emotional thinking the new baby will take his girl away from him. Stuff like lifting her shirt and talking to his baby saying things like “remember your mummy was mine first 🥺”

Warning: Mason may sound like a prick in this but it was just for the sake of the story 💔

Tag list: @masonxomount @chelsealover @masterclassbaby​

The moment you told Mason you were pregnant with your first child, he swore he couldn’t have been happier. He was literally on cloud nine, eager to live that unique and special experience with you, the love of his life.

As most of the things we have to deal with throughout our lifetime, it wasn’t all fun and games as expected. Actually you had to deal with a lot of changes that would come as the result of your newly found condition: the mood swings, the cravings, all the shopping for the baby, all the readings on how to teach things to your baby, how to grow him up perfectly and, at last but not least, all the potential dangers you had to be careful of.

It was a hell of a ride but it was worth it in the end, or that’s what you hoped at least.

He was absolutely crazy for you and he wanted to remember that image of you forever. Mason grabbed his Polaroid and took the most beautiful pictures of you naked, with your hair dishevelled on the pillow, the white bed sheets covering your lower body as you let your hands caress your baby bump.

In that moment the English footballer swore he never saw a woman as gorgeous as you, he really meant it when he said that the pregnancy made you even more beautiful than you already were. He thought it turned you into a goddess, as he couldn’t care less about the commonly called flaws you always complained about such as your stretch marks, your swollen feet, the extra weight you gained. He took every chance he got to make you feel loved, to give love to every inch of your body.

You sighed and shook your head as you got seated on the bed, looking for your t-shirt.

“Mason, stop it”

“You’re stunning, come on!” He giggled, holding the camera with one hand and lifting your chin up with the other, holding then your face in place to kiss you on the lips.

Mason shot a couple more pictures of you before putting the camera to the side and starting to kiss you passionately.

He was standing before you, balancing himself with his right leg bent over the mattress, at the side of your thigh. 

The ardour that inflamed your kiss was so strong he straddled you, hovering over you, always being careful of your bump.

He gently led you towards the soft surface beneath, so you could be in a more comfortable position while he made you feel his love.

You didn’t have the slightest intention to move, you just wanted to stay there basking in the relaxing yet exciting feelings only he could give you. Your legs were loosely wrapped around his middle as his right hand was delicately keeping your thigh up while the left one was holding your arms back on the blanket, above your head.

A moan escaped your lips as you felt his fingers fiddling with your knickers.

During the pregnancy, even if it was something common for most women, you started developing a sense of discomfort towards your body: it was inevitably changing but, since you've never been that self confident, those major changes were only increasing the doubts about the beauty or the attractiveness of your curves.

Mason was willing to do everything that was in his power to make you enjoy sex without making you feel guilty, embarrassed or in pain. That's why you spent a whole afternoon on a website the ob gyn suggested you to have pregnant sex safely, to learn all the pros and cons of such a pleasurable activity during a time where things might have gotten a little more difficult.

Whenever your mind took you back to that afternoon you couldn't help but smile, both because it was a funny memory and because seeing Mason so careful and attentive towards you to make you feel better, filled your heart with more love. But reading advice and theories was a thing, putting them into practice was another, even more so since your belly was getting bigger, leading you through the third trimester.

“Mase, the -”

“Yep, the belly is in the way, I know” You both giggled, Mason was really caught up in the moment he didn’t think about the six (nearly seven) months belly you had to deal with.

He sighed, sitting on the bed again.

"It's not just that, my back hurts a little more today"

Mason helped you up, careful not to hurt you, massaging your aching muscles. 

"I just ruined your sex drive" You let out in a low voice, feeling kind of bad.

"Hey hey, you didn't ruin anything, that's okay" He kissed your temple in the sweetest way. "Here, let's see if this one is more comfortable" Mason gestured for you to lay back on the pillows he put there to ease your back pain so your body was resting on the edge of the bed while his body was standing before yours, a little bent over.

You smiled at each other until your boyfriend's lips moved upwards to kiss your forehead, tracing your jaw next and ending on your neck.

In order not to weigh on your stomach, Mason kneeled down on your bedroom floor as his hands were on your hips and his mouth was leaving little hot kisses and bites against the soft skin of your thighs.

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968 note - Postate 7 novembre 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://at.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/703755184537567232/rfw9at8itdad /// I agree with everything, you're right and it's okay for you to act this way!

curiously I see a lot of myself on you, i'm a teenager, i grew up in an abusive household, and I have a poor communication with my parents (they’re divorced) it's a loooong story but summing up i developed many issues and attracted toxic friendships, i'm trying my best to heal and i know how you feel when people twist your words and put pressure on you, i know because I go through this since childhood (reason why i have only two friends lol. I don't consider friend friendship without depth. To protect my energy and mental health). I'm too caring toward others and I dont want to disappoint anyone. My life is boring but at least my heart is in peace. I have emotional blockage and use this as a way to avoid becoming codependent with an abusive person, i fear i would love unconditionally anyone who gives me the love i didnt received and wished so badly my entire life. I don't like having to be strong all the time, sometimes I feel exhausted i wish i could rely on someone.

Is easy to gaslight and manipulate me (i'm not even tell a story that happened to me with a narcisist during 2021😂 now i'm laughing but at that time i wanted to yell) after i realized this, i started to develop some defense and i never open up about me to others and only share what i don't mind people knowing. I don't trust my own self and need validation but finally i'm working on it and developing confidence. Consequently these wounds - plus many issues and anxiety - made me highly empathetic and intuitive (unfortunately not on a psychic level), I would never do to other people what was done to me. We don't have to become the monster that destroyed us.

I appreciate that you haven't given up on this blog even with all the trigger and annoying people, I wouldn't handle it, honestly, i'm glad you share knowledge and don't let negativity get in your way, the process of healing from trauma is very complicated. Wishing you the best! 🌱💕

sorry for bad english

Omg. Hi! Welcome to the tribe. So glad you found the blog and me because yes. We have very similar experiences and probably relate and can understand each other very deeply. If anything I hope it makes you feel less alone and gives you hope that things can always grow and strengthen. Reading your ask made me tear up a bit, because thank you for validating me and my experience and my reactions and for truly understanding what I said. I also feel like maybe we are connecting for the reason of feeling community and that’s so nice. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with me.

I’m adding you to the psychic bestie circle, because I was literally on the phone with my mom (also a long story, because who likes ‘em short?) about how I view loyalty and how seriously I take that and why it makes it hard for me to make friends and feel like I belong. I think trauma does this thing where you can’t take relationships lightly because so many of core your relationships are fractured and it doesn’t feel safe to have friends or other people around you can’t fully trust. It can be hard to engage with people who are more light and casual at times because it’s like they don’t really understand what it’s like. I struggle to connect a lot because I feel people don’t understand the depth of what experiences like this mean and how they shape us.

And you nailed it. I did that with my exes. I’m a lot more healed now because I rarely feel things (blessing and a curse, amiright?) for people, but part of me is so terrified to meet a healthy partner because I know so much of this will come up. Being love starved makes you primed for codependency. There’s this thing I wrote once:

“You’re going to hurt me.”

“No. I’m going to love you, and sometimes they feel the same.”

If you’ve only ever known love that hurts, healthy love hurts too, because it almost exacerbates how badly you were treated by offering a comparison. I can’t find a way to expand this feeling through words, so I hope you get what I’m saying.

And yes again! I literally wrote after talking to my mom not an hour ago “why do I always have to be the adult” I’m always the glue holding shit together, the one no one ever worries about because I always handle it. My sister is dealing finally with her trauma from all this and my mom is all I wanna be there for her and wanted to talk to me about what happened growing up honestly. And it’s like why couldn’t you offer me that when I was suicidal for the past two years (2020/2021) but you can give that to my sister (who deserves that obvi, but like I do too).

That’s the shit that kills me sometimes and I know it’s playing victim but sometimes it’s really like just because I’m smart and strong and wise and capable of holding it all together, doesn’t mean you can just neglect me. Doesn’t mean I should have to hold it all together all the time. That’s kinda what I mean about people negating my hard work. Like people I’ve encountered, generally speaking, seem to not understand my struggle because in a way I make it look bearable or something. I’m only like that because I had to bear it. There was no option. Whether I make it look easy or not, doesn’t mean it is. I could only ever rely on myself— ultimately things I’m grateful for, I’m sure you get this push and pull too between appreciating what you went through and how it grew you and also resenting it deeply because you’d rather be well adjusted.

Idk why today all my trauma is stirring around. Maybe because of therapy yesterday but it’s like all day I’ve had this energy going around. Anyway, sweet nonnie. I can tell you have an amazing and loving soul and I feel so much power from you, it’s quiet but formidable. If you ever want to chat in the DMs. I’m here for you! And your English was fucking perfect and I’m impressed AF because I can only speak English and un poquito de Espanol. Sending so much love and healing and just general joy to you! 💫⭐️☀️ Never let the dirt dim your shine. You’re golden baby and you only grow more rare with time. Mwah 💋

[honeyfrecklesandloveletters]

.

[mhynvxii]

Hiii, I love ur blog. May I request for the GOM having a very ticklish s/o. Feel free to ignore if u don't feel comfortable with this request.

Thanks in advance (∩｀-')⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

A/N : We received your shooting star, mate. It gave me the just enough sufficient crack energy. (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

GOM when their gn!s/o is very ticklish.

AOMINE DAIKI –

He look like this when he’s coming your way with the evil intentions of making you screams in laughter even if Momoi tells him to let you alone and breathe some air he’s already cutting you off in general just by him being him.

Snarky smile you see from 2k miles, he’s even laughing before you laugh or touching you. It’s very likely that he’s returning in childhood when doing that, still have a little boi heart deep down.

Aomine likes it a lot about you, it’s not only an easy way to bother you but also because under him or whatever position you’re taking when you’re laughing, you look like a mess and he loves how the chaos look on you. He’s of course not even a little bit pitying you.

Putting his hands just below your armpits with the confirmed intentions to tickle you, you can be sure that he’s not going to back down until you’re either crying, red or doing what he asked you to : Of course he would use this as a chantage method !duh.

« Oi, Didn’t I asked you to buy me Mc Donald’s five minutes ago ? Why you’re still here, my little Y/n ? »

It’s not his fault if you have stupid weaknesses like this, you knew he would take advantage of it when choosing him as your partner after all. It’s like written in his forehead that he’s an evil spawn and he’s justifying everything by saying the he’s pretty sure you would have done the same if roles were reversed.

Daiki discovered it completely from inadvertence, he was just playing with you once like you stole his burger and it was just fair game and even a little too gentle coming from him : to punish you by putting his cold hand on the back of your neck to make you writhe and shiver under his touch. ( this reminding him some events on the process.)

But he didn’t except to see you laughing and even less like this AT ALL. He tries multiples times to verify if it wasn’t him being that much cold but wherever he touch you, you become breathless and knowing you he’s 100% sure you’re not faking it and he’s barely holding two shits together.

You may try to tickle him in return and he will let few big and loud giggles but he’s resistant and know exactly what he’s doing.

That bastard is calling you attention seeker in you know those situation when your friend is mad laughing and in their euphoria unconsciously seek to touch you, to mess with you. He definitely knows that your condition just makes you laugh like an idiot as you can’t even try to hold anything but the disturbed look on your face and the annoyance when he say that with the serious face : tasteful.

You don’t want to have a tickle fight with him. Believe me. Or if so you’re masochistic because Aomine tickle fast and with a lot of intensity, leaving no spot behind, testing everywhere and he’s rarely soft.

He can’t take you seriously whenever you would be facing him and trying to be authoritative.

Once, you were lecturing him when he was driving and that bastard connected his car bass with his phone and played that video in which you’re laughing like a dolphin on drugs.

You gotta be strong to handle him.

AKASHI SEIJUROU –

He would notice either really late or really early in the relationship that you’re very ticklish : If late it’s probably because Akashi doesn’t often express love by physical means outside of the house. If early it’s because well he politely gave you an hand kiss, aka the romantic « baise main » in france, like good manners would want for a gentleman to give it to their partner and you squirmed for absolutely no reason : making him confused and surprised.

It’s taking him a little time to assimilate the rather surprising info he got on you and well if he finds it really funny he won’t make an abuse of it unlike some persons… Just tease you a little about it whenever you would be behaving a little rebellious at home.

«  You’re sure Y/n ? Think about it twice, you wouldn’t want me to use violent means.. do you ? I think it’s been a while since you’ve haven’t had a nice laugh, am I wrong ? Plus you’re also very cute when you smile. »

He’s careful to how he touch you in pubic as he don’t want to embarrass you by making you chuckle by accident but well you’re sometimes the one asking for it and as he kiss you and hold your waist it’s not rare to see you laugh right after like an idiot. But if it’s because of the butterflies stomach of the first day still here or your sensitivity no one knows.

Seijurou cherish every little crystals sounds coming from your mouth, he registred it so well it often happen for him to hear your laugh in his dreams.

Tickle fights are not hard with him, he’s going to let you go if begging politely and nicely, he’s hardly going hard with you and won’t go to such lengths as leaving you with a cracking voice even if sometimes you plainly deserves it and ask for it.

Akashi would never admit it, but the fact that you’re very ticklish is a blessing for him : he don’t know how to make jokes, so when he wants to make you smile and don’t have an idea that he’s sure would work ( which is rare.) he’s going to makes profit of it.

One thing he would never admit is also that he got accustomed and memorized how your body will move when laughing in general and under his touch because of his kinetic vision. So well that he’s seeing a future much more ahead it’s scary, if he really wanted to make you suffer he would be completely able to and in a very precise and methodical way.

The coolest and more chill about the whole situation of the GOM but could be the worst actually if I wasn’t talking about sane Akashi.

MIDORIMA SHINTAROU –

Do you know how embarrassing it is to him ? Like you’re not only forcing if not craving for his touch in public spaces so he’s giving in for your well being and you start laughing for no reason ? Like the smart student facade and everything just go down because of you.

You’re lucky that it’s you because he doesn’t mind you doing stupid things sometimes unlike Takao and well your laugh is precious to him. He would rarely tell you to repress it if it wasn’t for his tsundere habits and he knows it’s not totally your fault now. But before he learnt about it he was just thinking you were mocking him because he was showing weaknesses and a soft spot for you by giving you affection when he was known to be rather stern and distant, at least from his perspective.

How to say it was… relieving and embarrassing at the same time to get to know it was instead because you were sensitive and had multiples tickling spots ?

He didn’t really needed this info because he’s going to do nothing with it… he’s never going to bow down to such childish antics as tickling you for god know why but well it’s always good to know, he guess. At least he won’t blush like crazy wondering why you’re laughing now as he touches you. But don’t be fooled by this, he’s going to use this to torture you if you’re going too much insolent with him.

«  How does it feel to be a fool, Y/n ? Now test a semblance of your own medecine ! Don’t tell me you thought you will get out your way from this so easily ?! »

But if you happened to like to be tickled, like A LOT, then he would maybe and be very wary on that maybe : going to tickle you. Most likely to happen if you have been nice the whole day and didn’t tease him. But well Midorima is funny without desiring it in the first place so there is rarely a day when you don’t laugh about him.

He’s overall really careful with touching you but as he knows you’re very ticklish he will only uses his left hand between the 4 wall of his house… because whenever he’s barely touching you with that magic hand you’re traveling in another universe. It’s like mad weird laughs and he got to experience it every morning in which he’s sleeping with you and that he indulge in the physical contact he deprives himself.

He already got this ticklish plum as a lucky item and couldn’t help at the end of the day tests it on you. He’s never doing this again.

MURASAKIBARA ATSUSHI –

Your nemesis : Murasakibara is not that ticklish and well with those big hands of his he’s making you laugh without meaning to touch you in the first place because well touching you is so natural to him, it’s like eating snacks and where else can he put his hands to rest if not on you ?

So you’re quite often found folded like a chair when around him and honestly he doesn’t know how to react about this : finding it adorable but also… exaggerated ? Like com’on he’s only touching you, you can’t be that sensitive but at the same time it’s because he can’t relate that much. So he’s pretty biased and he knows it by basing everything on his own experience of feeling like laughing under some vicious tickles.

Once he get to know about that weirdness of yours he’s openly making fun of you about it even if he for sure have many others subjects to tease you about but well he wouldn’t like to make you really uncomfortable so he’s mostly shutting up about everything. At least until you dares try him by confiscating him a snack and with few movements he’s getting it back by making you burst in a loud giggle.

« I am sorry but you’re not going to private me from anything like this y/n-chin, better luck next time. »

Can’t take you seriously, you can only hope for time to make him forget about it. But well he’s always hugging you, touching you and everything so it’s most likely to not happen as your body will always remind him how sensitive you are.

For Murasakibara everything is okay, even your whale like laugh because you still appear as soft as honey in his eye. (Meaning you’re cute.)

He doesn’t like when people are touching you generally but makes it 2x more with that very ticklish condition. Because first he knows how your laugh can make melt someone heart, two how dares they touch you ?? and three he would consider you as more vulnerable and as someone to protect because your skin have to be somehow sensitive right ? To be so easily to tickle.

Also surprisingly don’t use your situation to others profitable means because well… He don’t even think about it. Maybe truly the coolest one out of here.

KISE RYOUTA –

He’s chill ? Like you know would probably gently makes fun of you but it won’t go past childish teasing. He can’t even be mean to you just in general so why would he start to switch facade because you happen to be more susceptible and prone to horrendous laughter ? Even if your laugh sound weird he would find you adorable like the completely biased boyfriend he is.

On the other hand he has like zero pain tolerance outside of everything concerning a sport so he don’t even feel like having the audacity to comment much on it.

But well… Kise is known to be quite playful and easily bored and it lead him to set pranks on you and tickling you by surprise.

His fingers are very soft and he cible precisely his attacks but he just keep on making you crackle testing your stamina and limits so it’s still intense torture. He’s having that idiot smile all along the procedure and is really insisting on seeing you so vulnerable and memeable.

Use this as occasions to kiss you and make you accept all his prince like desires such as you saying he’s the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen. Which is true but embarrassing ??

He got you on video multiples time, that he sent you as blackmailing when you appear to him as too much cocky and mean but it’s rare and anyway he didn’t send it to others people on your specific demand because well for him every funny things (almost) are meant to be shared and if he has the occasion to show off your so precious relationship on top of that it’s great !

«  You have the sweetest laugh darling, I could hear you chuckle a whole day and go to sleep to the sound of it.»

But well he’s still watching the videos on public spaces so Kuroko, Aomine, Momoi and Kasamatsu heard multiples times the sound of your pleas and begs as you’re giggling with an already stretched to the paroxysm stomach. It got them confused at first but well, except for one it wasn’t dirty minded thoughts.

He probably found out about your easily ticklish self by accident and early in the relationship as he’s super touchy and affectionate. Either poked your nose or two cheeks to say it was a rather cute weakness and okay.

Cherish and venerate the sound of your laugh like it’s gold, says that he will marry you whenever you laugh.

It’s rather easy to beat him on a tickling fight even if he gets competitive, Kise himself is quite easy to tickle and well you just need to makes sad puppy eyes or simulating pain and he’s distracted, he fall for it almost everytime.

Gets revenge by making you scream of laughter in public, at school, in the street, everywhere… there is no place where he feel ashamed of it in the world.

I promise you, you don’t want him in your pajamas parties because he’s setting himself the objective to tickle you and make you laugh your lungs out his whole objective to disturb the party and everything is about you and him and everyone hates both of you for that.

[joyliiejolly]

As a lover - SEVENTEEN's Jun

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purpose only, so please take it as a grain of salt and live laugh love all the way besties!!

This reading is done by my friend @bluerabb (she usually doesn’t post any reading on her blog and she wants me to post them here so please considerate follow my blog if you want to read more from her ^^). I took note during her reading, proofread and added some of my own thoughts along.

There is a nsfw part in this reading (under “keep reading”), so if you’re a minor reading this, please stop where I put my warning.

Without futher ado, enjoy the reading!

The cards:

Pamela Tarot: Ten of Pentacles (rx), Queen of Pentacles (rx), Eight of Pentacles (rx)

Clow Cards: The Watery, The Glow, The Through (rx)

Wisdom of the Oracles: 22. Blessed (rx)

Rune: 24. D

This reading isn't only about Jun's way of loving, but also about his love story, the one he doesn't know that he will have yet :)

At the moment, Jun is someone who's hopelessly romantic. He wishes for the one, the true love of his life, but he also doesn't believe that they will come. Within his circle of friends, there are some happy couples, and he would look at them and wonder why love hasn't come to him yet (tbh same). Some people could have told him that the misfortune in his love life is an exchange for the fortune of his career (idk who but I wanna fight).

The more successful he is in his career, he felt like the further his dream of having a family is. He somehow believes that he's gonna die alone. He would often imagine himself many years from now, materially satisfied, but no one is there by his side to fulfill him emotionally, living a loveless life till his last breath. He has so much love to give, but he couldn't show it to anyone. And if things keep on like this, his emotions will stay bottled up, to the point that he can't really know how to love properly anymore. Even so, deep down inside, he would still hope that there's someone out there for him. But the fact that he hasn't met anyone like that yet makes him tired from waiting, and causes him to look at this in the negative point of view.

Little does he know, the universe already has someone for him, and they're on their way to him :) It's just the Divine Timing messing with him for now.

At the moment, he might feel a little bit impatient, but once he meets his person, he will understand why they must come at that certain moment. For now, both he and his loved one are not emotionally mature enough for building the happy ever after that they want. If they meet now, there's a high chance that they won't be able to get together even though they're fated. By the time that they meet, both of them would be in the position of being able to provide emotional support for each other.

When he had to wait for his person for so long, and they suddenly crashed into his life and turned out better than he'd ever imagined, he would cherish them soooo muchhhhhh. Jun will love and accept his lover for who they are, even all of their flaws. They're a part of his person, and he's more than willing to love all of those flaws.

When Jun's in love, he will be the softest lover one can ever get. A gentleman, who is very serious and faithful to his partner, as his goal when he thinks of love and relationship is to create a family with the one he loves. Although he's afraid that with all of those years of not having someone would make him clueless in love, the truth is, when he meets the right person, he will know what to do.

At the beginning of the relationship, he'll try not to express himself too much. He'd struggle emotionally. But the moment he realizes that his lover is the same as him, he will open up real quick.

In the relationship, he will be the one who brings a lot of positive energy to his lover. Whenever they're together, his person will feel the purest kind of happiness, like one look at the other is all it takes for both of them to feel joyful. Jun's also attentive. He will keep all of the small details of his person in mind, like what they do when they're nervous, how they will react to certain things,…He'll always be there for them, listening to what they have to say. A lot of gifts will be given throughout the relationship, as well as a lot of loving words. After all, this person is his one and only, he's gonna go all out :)

Honorable mention song because the lyrics fits the reading so bad but for some reasons, it isn't on Spotify (it's a crime that this song isn't on Spotify)

(Minor please stop right here!)

Emotional connection is really important to him, so he would likely only do it with the one that he loves/has feelings for.

Jun's really a vanilla guy. He likes to take it slow, spending time exploring his partner's body and teasing all the sweet spots, all of them. Sex with Jun is soft and romantic and sensual, literally a love making process.

Even tho he is willing to try new things, being a little bit experimental, he wouldn't enjoy anything that too extreme. The man is softest of the softs, I must repeat this =)))

[finelinevogue]

HI I JUST WANTED TO SAY I FOUND UR BLOG LAST NIGHT AND IM ALREADY ADDICTED TO UR WORKS. YOURE SO TALENTED !! could u do a blurb where the reader is harry’s gf and watching him perform on stage and he invites her up on stage to dance ?

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! LOVE YOU ALREADY!!! this one is for you <33 ;

Harry was an absolute beast up on stage.

Night one of Vegas was a complete success so far and you never wanted it to end. From the moment that you woke up in your Vegas hotel room to the moment when he popped up out of the centre stage to start singing Golden, there wasn’t a moment where you didn’t feel an intimate and enormous amount of pride for him. He looked just so happy and that’s all you could ever wish for.

You were stood next to Jeff and Glenne, watching as Harry performed his beautiful heart out on stage. A lot of the fans around you had spotted you and were calling your name to grab your attention and get photos of you, but you were too shy to respond to any of them. So you kept on watching Harry perform.

The funky and even more upbeat version of Canyon Moon started playing and you knew what was coming next. Harry had prompted you that he might incorporate you somehow into this next segment and you were excited at the time, now you were just completely nervous. Shaky hands, goosebumps, the lot.

“Now I know you all loved the dancing for this next one,” The fans started screaming and shouting, because they instantly knew he was on about Treat People With Kindness, “but unfortunately my dance partner Phoebe is not here tonight.” He kept pausing to let the fans scream, prolonging your nerves, “however,” he walked from the main stage down to the B-stage, “there is someone here tonight who knows the dance and how to dance with me specifically.” He smiled, fiddling with his earpiece.

Your heart stopped. You think?

“Oh my fuck.” You muttered, as Jeff nudged your shoulder playfully and people around you started screaming your name even louder.

Then the light shone on you and you were blinded, only to see what was directly behind you and to the sides. You had to squint or cover your eyes if you wanted to see Harry. You shoved your hands inside your blazer pockets, fidgeting with your fingers inside out of nerves. Harry could instantly tell how you felt.

“Now she’s slightly nervous, so please be kind to her. Y/N, my love?” He asked sweetly, making it hard to say no to him. You squinted to see he was wearing a plea full smile and you wanted to wipe it right off his cheeky face. God he was irresistible. “Come on. Please?” He begged.

“Go on!” Glenne pushed you forwards slightly, making you shuffle sing in your cream-white boots that matched Harry’s.

“What am I doing?” You asked yourself, as people began to chant your name and egg you forwards. Seriously, what were you doing?

You started to walk forwards and through the barriers where Harry would run off the stage later. You said hello to a couple of fans on the way, giving them a quick smile and wave. Harry stood at the end of the platform, holding out a hand for you. One of the security guards gave you a leg up and Harry pulled you the rest of the way, embracing you in a tight hug when he got ahold of you.

“Y’okay?” He asked into your ear, even with all the noise throughout the arena you could still hear him as clear as a new day.

“Probably.” You spoke unsure, knowing you were in the direct spotlight now. Harry chuckled and pressed a kiss to your cheek, making the fans go absolutely wild. You both laughed and walked hand in hand back to the main stage.

“Give it up for my beautiful Y/N!” Harry shouted into his mic and you had to bite your lip from grinning like an idiot. He made you feel so safe and loved and you’d have to especially thank him for that later. The fans screamed for you, many of them shouting that they loved you as you walked past them. You blew kisses to a few of them threw your mask and they pretended to catch them.

Harry dropped your hand to go and set up his electrics for TPWK, grabbing a couple of pride flags as he did so. Harry handed you one and he took the other. It was so warm up here and you understood why Harry was so sweaty and hot now, not that you were complaining at all about how he looked because fuck did he look like a God below. You placed the flag between your pink trousered legs that matched your suit jacket, only to start pulling off your jacket, teasingly slow just for Harry, and throwing it off to the side so you were now just in your cream-white bralette and pink trousers. You were excited that you matched Harry.

The fans screamed so loud when it took your jacket off and pointed their cameras towards Harry, either to film his reaction, which was him just shaking his head and looking away from you otherwise he wouldn’t be able to control himself, or to encourage him to whip off his jacket too.

“Off, off, off!” The crowd shouted, you hoped to Harry because you having your tits out fully would probably get you arrested unlike you - double fucking standards just because you were a woman…

“Oh shut up! You can already see everything!” Harry laughed into the microphone, making you and everyone else laugh too. You wrapped the pride flag around you, tying it up so it wouldn’t fall off. Harry just held onto his instead.

The song began and you stood their, kind of awkwardly, waiting for Harry to let you know what you were allowed to do and where to go. Harry came over to you, strutting like he was on a cat walk, and twirled you around with the arm holding the flag. You laughed at how messy and uncoordinated you both were, having never performed this before now. When you were up here with him though, everything else sort of disappeared as if it were just you and him. It allowed you to become more comfortable in yourself and before long you were dancing around like a maniac.

You spiralled the stage, waving to fans and dancing how they were dancing too. You blew kisses and gave air hugs to people, complimenting the fans that you could see with their epic outfits. Harry was always on the same side of the stage as you, wanting to be as near to you as possible in case something went wrong, because then it did.

When the bridge part of the song came, Harry put down his microphone and started doing the dance that he choreographed in the TPWK music video. You quite happily danced along with him, pretending it was just you and him again dancing at home with one another instead of on a stage in an arena in front of thousands. It was going well until you accidentally tripped over a cable, falling over and landing on your bum. Harry was really worried at first, the song still playing in the background, but as soon as he saw you laughing he joined in and pulled you back up to him.

“Y’alright?” He shouted and you nodded, still laughing through the embarrassment and the shock. No doubt that would be trending on twitter tonight. You were just trying to give your best performance though, that’s all.

You and Harry danced through the rest of the song together, twirling around in each others arms and dancing as if nobody else was watching you but each other. It was so fun and you couldn’t believe that you’d actually been nervous at one point. You finished the song the same way the music video ended, Harry leaning over your arms and you holding him to make sure he didn’t fall. It was such a good finish and the atmosphere felt electric. It was charged with so much positivity, you swore you could never not be happy ever again.

Harry stood back up, giving you a kiss to your lips without second thought that everyone could see. You didn’t mind though because he tasted so good and felt even better. He made you so happy and you could just feel him giving off the same energy as you. You laughed as he let you go and took your hand for a bow.

“Y/N, everyone!” Harry shouted through his microphone and everyone cheered for you. You bowed once more to the other side of the stage, before collecting your jacket and running back off stage so Harry could continue the show without you.

He didn’t let you go without telling you he loved you so much, though.

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

[daikushiji]

hii! I came across your blog and my god I love it you are such a good writer! I was wondering if you could do kuroo, bokuto, and atsumu trying to get the reader to smile, bcs they dont really show much emotion?? if not then just ignore this <3

making his crush smile

pairings: kuroo x reader, bokuto x reader, atsumu x reader

a/n: helloo bb and thanks for your nice words!! sorry to keep you waiting so long, i really hope you like this!! <33

Kuroo Tetsurō

since your childhood you’ve been criticized and talked down every time you opened your mouth 

which made you understand that maybe it was better keeping your thoughts just for yourself

but everything changed when you met kuroo, someone who always listens to you without judgment

he loves spending time with you, watching you open up to him a little more every day

whenever he teased you a little or cracked a joke, you never actually laughed

so he started to write down notes on random pieces of paper and then sliding them in your pockets when you weren’t paying attention

you've never mentioned them, but he was happy with just the thought of you chuckling at his words even if far from his eyes

when one day, spotting you alone at a lunch table, he saw you smiling at your book 

dazzled by such a view, he didn’t immediately saw you waving at him

he cautiously walked up to you, afraid to make your smile disappear 

getting closer he noticed that it was the exact book in which he slid between the pages a dumb joke that same morning

”this one was particularly funny”

”oh so you also read the other notes?”

”of course! i’ve kept all of them”

and you showed him all the old train tickets and receipts he gave you, held together by a paperclip

going through them, you read out loud your favourite ones with a smile getting bigger and bigger at each word

with a lovesick gaze fixed on you, he couldn’t do anything other than smile as well

Bokuto Kōtarō

being raised to be respectful and collected, you were immediately branded as the quiet kid

your parents always told you to speak only when you were asked to and to guard your emotions for your own protection

so no, you never told bokuto that you like him

but little did you know he fell for you as well, fascinated by how your kindness could brighten up his day immediately

when he entered the classroom, a burning sensation started to grow inside your chest

that day was particularly cold and it was snowing from the night before

he was covered in snow, his face buried in a big scarf

and when he lifted it up, you saw his cheeks and the tip of his nose being so red

shaking his head, he let the snow on his hat fall all around him

with his teeth chattering, he started to rub his hands together, hopping on the spot

”it’s so cold!”

he looked so small in that puffy jacket of his

meeting your gaze, his eyes sparkled so brightly

you were smiling, at him

“you look so funny kō”

drawn by your giggle, he quickly came to you

”did you see all the snow outside?”

a shiver ran down your spine, when he suddenly grabbed your hands in his freezing ones

you nodded, while your lips were still curled up in the sweetest smile ever

and he really thought he wouldn’t have seen anything prettier than the snow that day

Miya Atsumu

in your previous relationship your partner always told you that your laugh was annoying

so you ended up to just stop smiling at all

did atsumu make his mission to get you to smile? yeah sorry

but his jokes were never funny and not even seeing him fight with osamu made you laugh

after losing a bet, he was sent by the team to buy snacks at the store for everybody

and of course he begged you to go with him

but you quickly regretted your choice when he kept trying to make you laugh by making awful puns with brand names 

”i can’t stand this any longer, i’ll wait for you outside”

he actually felt sorry for you, saying to himself that some people can’t understand high quality humor

after a few minutes he came out with his legs shaking, trying to balance all the groceries in his arms

he walked towards you, while chip bags and energy bars continued to slip from his hands

enjoying the show, you started to film him trying to pick up one thing from the floor while another fell down on the other side

”would you mind helping me?”

when you put down your phone, he finally saw it

you weren't simply smiling, but actually laughing so hard

he didn't even care when you said you were sending the video to suna

just kept staring at you smile from ear to ear

and when you noticed it, you remembered your ex’s words

“i’m sorry, i know my laugh is irritating”

his eyes went wide open, fixed on your lips

“what are you talking about, i don’t ever wanna stop listening to it”

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Anything

Rating:  Explicit

Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal), Rough Oral Sex (blow job, face fucking), Spanking / Whipping (with a drumstick), Obsessive Reader, Toxic / Power Imbalanced Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Suggested Dubcon / Reluctant / Compliant Reader

Words: 10,418 

Pairing: Drummer!Bakugou Katsuki x Superfan!Fem!Reader

Quirkless, Punk rock band AU

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Tags: @lady-bakuhoe​, @gallickingun​, @mirakumiruku​, @wakaoujisenhime​, @sunnieskies02​, @hisoknen​

Art in banner by me.

This was incredibly frustrating. Finally, after years of admiring and being an incredibly dedicated fan, you were standing in front of your favorite punk rock band. They were just a few feet from you, so close that you could reach out and touch them. How badly you wanted their full and undivided attention was near suffocating, and yet, it was so difficult for you to find the courage to speak at all. You had given them your name after you had been brought backstage for the meet up, which was a perk of the insanely expensive VIP tickets you and your friends had purchased. 

That’s all that you had been able to say. Your friend, however, was absolutely bursting with questions. You were very close to her, but damn, you wished that she would just stop talking long enough for someone else to get a word in. All day you had been brooding over what you wanted to ask, what you wanted to say to these men that had been such a huge part of your life for the last few years. Their music had inspired you, made you cry, pumped you up so much that you’d jump around your room and just jam out. But, more than that, they had saved you. You didn’t know how to explain it, or even how it happened in the first place, but you had truly begun to feel like their existence is what you lived for. 

Was that unhealthy? Probably. But who could blame you? You loved every single one of them. All five men were like your best friends, and you felt so close to them from your time following them on social media and attending their concerts. You knew them like the back of your hand, from birthdays, to favorite food, drinks, hobbies, past or current girlfriends, and you had even found out their personal telephone numbers. Had you ever called them? No, of course not. That would be creepy. 

Midoriya Izuku, the band leader and lead singer, was being the most engaging as far as answering questions. Unlike their punkish attire and aesthetic, he was like sunshine, incredibly friendly and soft with his curly green hair and freckled cheeks. He was adorable, able to make all the little fangirls scream and squeal with his grin and a cheeky wink. 

Todoroki Shouto, lead guitar and backup singer, was the quiet pretty boy of the group, breaking hearts with his intense and piercing stare. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have a soft side to him, but more than anything, he was extremely dense, and his genuine confusion was what made him so desirable. 

Kirishima Eijirou, second guitar, was another ray of sunshine amongst the black clothes and punk piercings. He loved to get the crowd riled up, his endless energy and cheery personality infectious. Out of everyone, he was the most openly friendly without a hint of shyness and treated everyone like he had known them forever. 

Kaminari Denki, bass guitar, was the group idiot. He was nice, but often did and said things that could get the group into trouble or make a fool of himself in the public eye. Funny and playful, he could make anyone laugh, either from a joke or from just being a silly fool. 

Although you adored them all, one of them had you in his grip, like your heart had been locked in a vice that grew tighter every time you saw him. The fifth member, Bakugou Katsuki, was your absolute dream man. Rough, arrogant, mean, and foul mouthed, he was the bands second in command, drummer, and backup singer for moments that required his deep and gruff voice. God, he was everything you ever wanted in a partner. Boyfriend. Husband. Whatever! You wanted him so badly that you dreamed about it constantly, picturing yourself in those strong arms or having those calloused hands on your body. Much to your misfortune, he was the most private on social media, so there was still a lot about him that you didn’t know. 

That was one of his most attractive qualities to you. His mystery and his silence. What was he really like? Was he this grumpy and off putting with those close to him? Did he have a gentle side of any kind?

You wanted to know everything about him! But, standing here in front of the entire band, you were frozen, not able to make a squeak. Even your eyes were locked on the floor, unable to look up at them in fear that you would gawk a little too intensely. Or start crying. One of the two would happen, probably. 

Your chance to interact with your heroes was slipping by with each moment, however, and you didn’t know if you’d ever get to have this chance again. What did you want to say? What questions had you thought about? You had a million of them, all you had to do was just say one. Something. Anything! 

“Bakugou-!” 

The name slipped from your lips in a sharp snap, which tapered off at the end with a tremble. Just as the sweet name left your lips, your eyes darted up, catching the confused and irritated crimson glare of the blonde drummer. At first, you were taken aback by his current appearance, still flushed and sweaty from the concert performance. His blonde spiked locks were wild and unruly, bangs stuck to the sweaty skin of his forehead and cheeks. He was so handsome, all messy and hot--

“U-uhm…” Your friend that stood beside you gave you a nudge in the side, though she was unable to pull your gaze away from Bakugou, who’s annoyed snarl made your heart begin to race. “[Name], I was about to ask something else…” 

“What’d you want to say, you damn shitty extra.” Bakugou barked at you, ignoring your friends' whine at being interrupted. “Don’t just bark out my name and then stand there like a fucking moron.” That gruff and demanding voice was intoxicating, making you involuntarily clench your thighs together and clutch at the fabric of your skirt.

“I… I was wanting to know. Uhm,” Your eyes darted across his face and his chest as you tried to think of what you had been wanting to ask him. You couldn’t remember for the life of you, but as your gaze landed on the piercing he had on the bridge of his nose, a thought popped into your head and curiosity flourished instantly. “How many piercings do… do you have?” 

Bakugou’s eyebrow cocked in initial confusion at the question, before returning to its usual furrowed position. “The fuck? That’s kind of personal, ain’t it?” 

“I’ll tell you how many I have.” You weren’t sure if the teasing, flirtatious sound of your voice was purposeful or not, but just hearing yourself made the tips of your ears flush. “Five types… Nine piercings total. I bet you beat me on that, hm?” 

“Tch, that’s fucking nothing, you little punk poser. I have nine types, thirteen total.” Bakugou shoved his hands into the pockets of his loose shorts, pulling the fabric down just enough to show the skin of his left hip and a peak of his boxers. One of the stated piercings gleamed in the light once exposed, and it took all your willpower to not hyper focus on it. “Not like you’ll ever know them all or see them.” 

“I bet I could guess.” “You’d fucking fail, moron-”

“A-ah, let’s not!” Midoriya interrupted, giving a nervous laugh and a wave of his hand to pull your attention off Bakugou. “We’re not here to talk about such personal things, you know! Right, Kacchan?” 

“I don’t give a fuck,” Bakugou shifted his weight from his right foot to his left, giving an annoyed click of his tongue. “I’m not in the mood for this bullshit.” 

“Why?” You once again spoke without thinking. “Because you missed your cue during Collide?” The accusation immediately had Bakugou’s eyes widening in surprise before he scoffed, glaring crimson daggers at you.  

“Well aren’t you just a fucking super fan.” 

“I try to be.” Although you knew that he wasn’t kind to you, the fact that he noticed your extreme interest in the band made your cheeks flush, looking down at the ground between your black combat boots. The t-shirt you had paired with your skirt was your favorite that you owned of the bands merchandise, and just seeing it as you gaze down over your chest made your stomach bubble nervously. Was it really that obvious? Was it weird to him? Did he like it? 

“Ah, well, anyway!” Your friend piped in again, taking a step closer to Midoriya with a sparkle in her eyes. “Deku! Please, tell us about your girlfriend!” 

Midoriya instantly went into his flustered state of rubbing the back of his head, his stuttering and embarrassed gibberish cracking with his exhausted voice, leaving you once again off to the sidelines. With a small, quiet sigh, you fiddled with the hem of your skirt, more questions burning on the tip of your tongue. In your down casted vision, you saw Bakugou’s feet shift, and there wasn’t a second thought in your mind about looking up at him. Your gaze immediately locked with his, which was still a dark and threatening glare. 

Your heart instantly skipped a beat, the heat in your cheeks growing hotter. Had he already been looking at you? Why was he glaring so intensely? You didn’t think that he would get upset with the mention of his mistake that you had pointed out, but perhaps he had gotten embarrassed? In truth, you hadn’t meant your statement to be argumentative in any way. You were more concerned about him. Messing up during a performance was a big deal, and though most people might not have noticed, you were curious if it was eating at him or if he just doesn’t care. 

Then, he made a move that you didn’t expect. With a quiet click of his tongue, he began to make his way out of the room, only stopping at the door when Kirishima spoke up. 

“Woah, man, where are you going?” The redhead interrupted Midoriya, who also looked at Bakugou curiously. 

“I work a lot harder than all of you assholes during a show! I’m sick of fucking standing around, and these losers aren’t even interesting. I’ll be in my room.” Before anyone could stop him, the door slammed shut with his exit, and you turned your attention to Midoriya as he sighed. 

“A-aha, I’m sorry about Kacchan! He’s uh… he doesn’t like meetups much.” 

“That’s a shame…” You mumbled under your breath, already missing his presence. You could still feel that glare on you, so threatening and dangerous. This had been your chance to really make yourself stand out from the crowd and show him how genuinely interested you were in him, and you wasted it. You cared about him more than these other women that fawned over him like brainless zombies. You were perfect for him. You knew you were, without a doubt, and you wanted him. 

It was true that the rest of the band members were close to your heart, that you admired all of them as your heroes. But Bakugou… You had just ruined your chance to talk with him and get to know him. 

There wasn’t anything else you could do.

“Is there a bathroom I can use?” Your question once again popped out of your mouth during the middle of a conversation, though instead of stopping it, Kirishima smiled at you sweetly. His kind face and gentle touch to your arm to lead you away from the group so he could talk to you had your heart racing, almost too scared to take a step in fear that you’d trip with how distracted you were by his face. 

“Yeah, babe. Go left down the hall, you’ll see it marked. Don’t get yourself into trouble, m’kay?” 

B-babe? Aahh, why would he call me that? He’s too sweet for his own good. Cheeks flushing, you gave a small nod, thanking him quietly before heading out of the room, taking a final quick glance at the group behind you to catch Kirishima giving you a playful wave. Of course, by the time you stepped outside into the hallway, Bakugou had already vanished. Using what you had remembered of the route to get to this room from backstage, you hadn’t seen anything that was labeled as a changing room for any of the men. So, you went left down the hall as you had originally been instructed, glancing at each door you passed to see if there were any names scribbled on the dry erase board many of them sported. 

Your heart nearly stopped when you finally saw it. Bakugou Katsuki, written in red marker with a shitty doodle of what looked to be a hand holding up the middle finger, along with the words “fuck off”. Before going in, you took a moment to press your ear up against the door, listening closely to see if there were any signs of life. There wasn’t a single sound or hint of movement, so gathering your courage and glancing up and down the hall for danger, you took hold of the doorknob, your heart beginning to race as it moved without resistance. 

With a quiet click, the door opened, not making another sound as you cracked it just enough to look inside. The lights were on, and your suspicions that he hadn’t been inside were confirmed. Feeling a bit discouraged, you considered just going back to the room to finish off your time with the rest of the band. That would probably be enough to satisfy your longing for them, right? The others could be great company, and maybe Bakugou would come back before you left. 

But, deep in your chest, you could feel the need to be with Bakugou alone to talk to him one on one. You wanted his attention more than anything, and you knew that there wasn’t going to be another chance for you to see him this close again any time soon. No, you couldn’t run away. You had already come too far to back out now. What’s the worst he could do? Kick you out? Call security to have you removed? Call you names? Press you up against the wall and threaten you? 

Ah, well, maybe that wasn’t all that bad. You’d probably melt in his hands and collapse on the floor in a blushing puddle of tears if he so much as touched you. 

Gathering your resolve, you pushed yourself on into the room, walking lightly and glancing this way and that to make sure he wasn’t just laying on some furniture or something to take a nap. Feeling confident that he wasn’t in the room, you shut the door behind you with a light click, taking a few timid steps into the room. Almost instantly, you were completely engulfed by the scent of his body spray, which you had only been faintly able to pick up while in the group. It was such a powerful scent, bold and intense, just like him. How quickly just the simple scent of him made your core burning hot was a bit staggering, feeling your knees already growing weak and your chest growing tight. 

This is harder than I thought… Just from smelling him like this I feel like I’m going crazy. And he’s not even in here! I should leave before I get too distracted… But… This is his stuff! 

Beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed being in the presence of Bakugou’s possessions, your teary gaze scanned the room methodically, surprised to see that the room was actually very well kept. With his brash personality, you more expected Bakugou’s personal space to be a wreck, but the only thing that was really out of place was a small pile of clothes tossed aside next to a suitcase. A desire to be close to Bakugou driving you, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation as you made your way towards it, squatting down. Right on top was the tank top he had just been wearing, still soaked with his sweat. It was the most recent thing that had touched his body. It still had his essence all over it. How could you just leave it there? 

Picking it up, you brought the shirt up to your nose, inhaling deeply. It was absolutely delicious, your body quivering from the excitement and adrenaline beginning to pump through your veins. You were actually holding one of Bakugou’s sweaty shirts in your hands, one that he had just performed in! This was absolutely real. It wasn’t a dream!

Becoming overwhelmed with your feelings for him, you flopped back to sit on your butt, spreading your legs open. Since you were wearing fishnet hose with decently large holes, you had direct access to your already soaked pussy, the little lace thong easily moved aside. Now, all that existed to you was the scent wafting off his shirt and your fingers eagerly stroking your sex, alternating between stroking your clit and digging two of your fingers inside you. The cloth of the t-shirt pressed up against your lips and nose, you panted and moaned softly against it, imagining that you were right up against his chest, his fingers teasing your cunt. 

You were so engrossed in your fantasy that you could even hear him taunting you, that deep growl of his voice in your ear. 

“That’s right, babygirl. You like when I finger that slutty pussy, don’t you?” 

“You’re so fucking wet, you little whore. Dripping all for me.” 

“Getting horny just from the smell on my clothes? You dirty fuck.” 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” 

The sudden rattling boom of a familiar yell startled you out of your pleasant daydream, turning your moan into a squeal as you nearly jumped out of your skin. Spinning around, you were met with the wide-eyed shocked crimson glare of your dream man, who was standing halfway in the room, as if he had stopped in his tracks upon seeing you. All you could do was sit there in shock, still holding his shirt up to your face as your other hand tried to pull your skirt down between your legs, as if to hide your sin. 

“I,” Stuttering, you tried to gather yourself, clenching your thighs together tightly. “I, uhm, Bakugou, it’s not- How’d you… get in?” 

His shocked expression contorted into one of confusion, then into annoyance, his brows furrowed deeply as he startled at you. “Are you fucking kidding me? You didn’t lock the door, ya dumb cunt.” Walking the rest of the way inside, he slammed the door shut loudly behind him, startling you again enough to scurry back against the wall, your knees pulled up to your chest protectively. “What the fuck are you even questioning me for? You’re the horny bitch sitting on my floor sniffing my fucking clothes and touching yourself.” Without having to look back at the doorknob, Bakugou gave the little lock a twist, setting the latch firmly in place. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you could only stare at him, your eyes captivated by that fierce glare. How hot he made you only intensified now that he was back in your presence, and more than that, the asshole was even shirtless. His flawless muscular figure made your mouth feel dry, as if any and all liquid your body could produce was pooling between your legs. It was everything you could do not to start touching yourself again, clutching onto his shirt with both hands tightly. “I… I’m sorry. I just… I-” 

“You’re just a damn psycho fan, aren’t ya?” Reaching up to give his hair a quick ruffle, Bakugou started making his way towards you, his ruined and ragged skater shoes squeaking against the smooth wooden floor. “I’m surprised you didn’t rip your shirt off during the fucking concert and throw your bra on stage.” 

“I’m not stupid like those girls… I have dignity. And I don’t want a bunch of other people seeing my tits anyway.” Your voice lowered down to a meek whisper by the time he stood in front of you, both of his hands on his hips, as if he were about to scold you like an angry parent. With him so close, your eyes glanced over every inch of his bare torso, drinking in how absolutely flawless he was. What was even more enticing was the piercings he had so proudly boasted about not long ago, a pair of them placed on his collarbones, nipples, and hips. 

“Tch, dignity?” Bakugou scoffed, a sly smirk crossing his lips. “‘Dignity’, the little slut says, as she sits on the floor in my dressing room fucking herself to the stench on my shirt. Pathetic.” 

“What are… Are you going to kick me out?” 

“There’s a lot that I could do to you,” Bakugou’s smirk turned wicked, his lips curling up to show his gums. “But how about you tell me what the fuck you were doing in here?” 

“I just… I really wanted to get an autograph or picture with you. You’re my,” Your breath caught in your throat, not wanting to let it slip that he was your absolute dream man. “You’re my favorite band member.” 

“Then what are you doing with my clothes?” 

An intense burning suddenly rushed to your cheeks with a new round of embarrassment, and with it came the stinging sensation of tears building up in your eyes. What had you been doing? You had just wanted to talk to him more, to get to know him better, and just spend time with your hero. And yet, you had let yourself get completely overwhelmed by a burning desire for him, one that was just too strong to ignore in the moment of solitude with his possessions. You knew that you had a very intense crush on him, but that bad and that… gross? You had told yourself over and over that you weren’t like the desperate women who would do anything filthy to get his attention, yet here you were, sniffing his clothes and touching yourself. 

“I… I don’t know what I was doing.” Your voice quivered as you avoided looking at him, trying to blink the tears away. “That was really gross of me. I had just… wanted to see you in private. I wasn’t getting a chance to talk to you, to any of you, and… I just wanted my chance.” 

“You wanted your chance, eh?” Bakugou brought a hand up to his chin, rubbing it as if he were in thought, contemplating his options. “So much that you’d sneak into my room, to wait for me or try to corner me?” 

Swallowing the lump that had grown in your throat, you coward down back against the wall, wishing that you could just shrink away in shame. Your impulses had completely ruined your chances. He had to think you were a total freak by now, he’d never want to even give you the time of day. 

“Ya know,” Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest, taking a half step closer to you. His posture and presence over you was so aggressive and domineering that you couldn’t find it in yourself to move, only pulling your legs up tighter to your chest to try and get further away from him. “You talk all big, saying that you’re not like those other extras out there that’ll drop their pants in seconds for me. That you have ‘dignity’. But I don’t think that’s true. I think you’re just like those other sluts out there, a stupid whore that is driven by nothing but her cunt.” 

You gave a small shake of your head, trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs and the swirling in your stomach from how he was treating you. You couldn’t believe it was turning you on so much. “No, I… That isn’t what I wanted.” 

“I think it is. You’re disgusting. Nothing but a filthy super fan and a stalker. Why don’t you just admit it?” 

“Because… It’s not true. I love you, but not… It’s not all like that.” 

“If you loved me, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” The change in tone caught you off guard, his voice no longer accusatory and vicious. Instead, his growl was almost soothing, as if he were trying to calm your frantic thoughts of failure. “You’d do anything to stay in the same room as me. To just be able to fucking look at me or get a shitty autograph, hm?” 

“I would… yes.” Your heart racing, you tried to blink away the tears still prickling in your eyes, but they were persistent. “But if you want me to leave, I’ll… do that, too. I shouldn’t have come here like this in the first place…” 

“You regret it?” Bakugou moved his hands back to his hips, his fingers resting against the pristine shape of his hips with such rugged and confident posture. You were so conflicted on your feelings, and that question only made your throat grow tight. Did you regret it? All your actions up to this point had gotten you here, alone in his room with him, and no matter what the interaction was or may end up being, just getting to be here was a dream come true. 

But what would you do? Would you really do anything he asked of you? Anything? In truth, you didn’t think that you had the courage and you would just annoy him until he kicked you out. What would he even want from you in the first place? You weren’t innocent enough to not have noticed the bulge beneath the zipper of his shorts, pressing up into the fabric. Was this entire situation, having you cowering on the floor in front of him like this, actually turning him on? Did he… like you, then? Was he attracted to you? 

“I asked you a question.” Bakugou snapped when you didn’t answer him, leaning forward a bit to glower down at you with that typical snarl. 

“I don’t… I don’t regret it. I just don’t want to upset you.” 

“Aw, don’t want to upset me, eh?” With a click of his tongue, Bakugou’s snarl stretched into a smirk. “Poor little stalker, scared to upset me. Don’t worry, babygirl. Just do what I ask, and you won’t upset me.” 

“Really? You’re not upset?” 

“Not at all, babe. But you have to do what I say. You’ll do anything for me, won’t you?” The condescending growl of his voice was lost to you, only able to latch on to the pet names and hope of getting back on his good side.

“Yes.” 

“Because you’re not like those other girls. You're my number one fan. Aren’t you?” 

A new burning of heat and tears flared up, unable to stop the happy smile on your lips. “Yes. Yes! I am! I love you so much-”

“Get on your knees.” 

Smile faltering, you were confused by the demand, looking up at Bakugou through your gathered tears. “What?” 

“Get on your fucking knees.” Bakugou snapped again, the gleam in his glare almost… sinister. Still, there was something in you that begged for you to comply, and just like your impulses earlier, you couldn’t ignore it. Squeezing the fabric of his shirt tightly in your hands, you slowly shifted yourself up onto your knees as demanded, though the space between him and the wall was limited. Worried about your face being too close to his crotch, you sat back mostly on your legs, but he was quick to correct you. 

“All the way up on your knees.” 

Nibbling at your bottom lip, you pushed yourself up to be kneeling, your eyes glancing and looking everywhere but at the crotch of his baggy blank punk shorts, which reached his knees and ended in tattered fabric. The chains on both hips rattled lightly as he shifted his weight to his other foot, and that slight sound pulled your eyes to look at them, and thus at his crotch. At this angle, you could truly see how strained he was, the form of his cock clearly visible. The heat in your cheeks grew fiercer just thinking about what was just a few inches from your nose, and what was worse, the smell of him was overwhelming all your senses. He must have just recently reapplied his spray after sweating like mad for hours on end, but even his natural scent was enticing. 

“What are you looking at, babe?” 

Bakugou’s voice broke you out of your stupor, bringing you to look up at his face. “Nothing… Just, well…” Your voice tapered off, unable to find it within you to ask him. He obviously had a boner, but what the hell did that mean?

“Open your mouth. Keep those pretty eyes on my face.” His commands had grown softer, as if he were purring at you to keep you compliant. Opening your mouth as told, you peered up at him through your lashes, tilting your head back a little. The way his smirk grew had your skin tingling, but that isn’t what had all your attention. Your focus was on his hips, listening to the rustling of fabric and watching the movement of his arms through your peripheral vision. “Good girl. Now stick out your tongue. And don’t move.” 

Slowly, your tongue lolled out, and the low groan he gave in satisfaction of your obedience had you opening your mouth wider. As you sat there waiting for him, you could feel the saliva beginning to dribble down your chin and along the length of your tongue, gathering in a slick pool before dripping off the tip of your tongue to the floor. 

Suddenly, you felt a hard and hot presence slap against your tongue, making you squeak and recoil back. Though, before you could get far, your hair was in Bakugou’s fist, yanking you back up into position and peering up at him in shocked fear. He was visibly agitated, but his smirk was still wide, teeth bared. 

“What do you think you’re doing, slut? I said don’t move. You told me you’d do anything I say.” 

Trembling now, you pulled your gaze from his to look at his hips, pressing your lips together tightly as you gazed upon his erect cock. As he held it steady with his free hand, you couldn’t help but take in every detail, from the girth and length, the prominent veins and ridges, and the frenum barbell piercing nestled just under the blushing head. It was truly the most attractive cock you had ever seen in your life, and a fire began to rage in your core as you realized that was what had just hit your tongue. 

Bakugou’s cock… He… He wants me to suck him off? What if I’m not good enough… I shouldn’t! 

You could feel the heat of your essence beginning to dribble down your thighs, your poor excuse for underwear and hose completely soaked through. You could feel the throbbing all the way into your stomach, and it was impossible to deny that you were the horniest you had ever been. But this isn’t what you had expected or wanted to do. Was it? 

“That’s what you said, isn’t it?” Bakugou pulled your head a bit closer, giving you a few rough smacks to the cheek with his impressive cock. “You would do anything for me.” With your lips still tightly closed, he ran the tip of his cock across them, smearing his precum along your skin. “So be a good girl and give my cock a little kiss. Be sweet, now.” 

Although the demand was embarrassing, the pressure of his grip on your hair and his cock literally at your lips made you feel like you truly didn’t have a choice. He was in control of all of this. He could do anything he wanted. He could get you arrested, even. You had to do what he said, not only for your own benefit, but because you adored him. So, you placed a tender kiss right beneath the head, your eyes fluttering closed. Abandoning the t-shirt in your hands, you reached up to softly caress his cock, using your grip to move it up to give you more access to the underside. Your kisses were quite timid at first, but as one lingered against the underside of his shaft, the pulsing you could feel against your lips made your body ache. 

Eventually, your kisses became more passionate, even giving light suckles and little kitten licks, teasing the piercing and the sensitive head. Hearing him groan with the attention pulled your eyes up to look at him, a bit surprised to see that his cheeks were quite flushed, and his smirk had faded. Was he really enjoying this? 

Bracing himself against the wall with his free hand, Bakugou only further crushed you with his overwhelming presence and dominance, making you pause in worry. “Good girl. Now open your fucking mouth.” 

The instant your lips parted wide enough, Bakugou simultaneously pulled your head and pressed his hips forward, shoving his cock into your mouth, the tip stopping at the back of your tongue. Squeaking and groaning in surprise of the forced entry, you clutched on tightly to his thighs, only just having noticed that his shorts had fallen around his feet. His boxers had simply been pushed down out of the way, but the elastic kept them up on his hips for now. You were unable to move, his grip on your hair too tight to pull back. He didn’t want you to do the work? 

“That’s it, baby. Keep that mouth nice and open for my cock. You don’t gag easily do you?” You could hear the feigned concern in the question, and the only answer you could give is a furrow of your brow, new tears prickling in the corners of your eyes. “Oh well. Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” 

It was then that Bakugou began to thrust his hips, fucking your mouth slow and shallow. You were actually surprised that he started out so cautious, but you could tell that the pleasure was beginning to grow quickly. “Fuck babe, you’re such a good little slut for me.” Ever so slightly, he began to thrust faster and deeper, until the tip of his cock was hitting against the back of your throat. You were lucky that you didn’t have a strong gag reflex, as you knew that anyone who did would have already puked all over him. But you could take it. You could take it for him, to let him have his way with you just to stay with him a little longer. 

Though, you were finding that it was difficult, breathing in through your nose and trying to distract yourself from the burning in your jaw. Each thrust had your nose touching his pelvis and his balls slapping against your chin, which was coated in drool that dripped freely. It was so difficult to handle him, in fact, that you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks, only further displacing your already ruined makeup from crying earlier. You were a mess already, but the fire within you didn’t falter. If not for needing to grip onto his thighs to keep you balanced, you would be touching yourself again, the craving for your own pleasure just as suffocating as the dick in your throat. 

Still, your struggles were worth it. You got to watch Bakugou’s expression, his brow no longer furrowed in anger but in pleasure, his eyes glazed over with the undying need for release. His face was flushed and sweat was already beginning to drip down along his skin, his body still affected by the intense performance he hadn’t finished not even an hour ago. The way his body moved, muscles tensing and rolling beneath your grip on his thighs. He was so gorgeous. 

You had expected him to finish in your mouth, but after some time of fucking your throat raw, he stopped, holding the back of your head as he dug his cock as deep in as he could. You groaned and whined from the pressure, wishing desperately for relief while pushing on his thighs. With his own groan and hiss of pleasure, Bakugou pulled out of your mouth slowly, his smirk returning as he took in the sight of you. “You should see yourself. Filthy. Keep your tongue out.” When he finally removed himself completely, you took in a deep breath, gasping and panting to try and recover from the brutality you had to endure. Your tongue, however, stayed out as he demanded, allowing him to rub the underside of his tip against it. 

“You’re fuckin’ hot, you know that? So fucking sexy. I bet you have a nice tight little pussy, too.” After a few rough slaps of his cock against your tongue, he took a step back, stepping out of his shorts as he did so as well as his shoes, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. “Stand the fuck up.” 

Swallowing hard, you took the moment of getting to your feet to wipe your chin of the mess of liquids, but you didn’t get much time to steady yourself. Snatched by the arm, Bakugou dragged you over a few feet towards the couch, grabbing you once again by the hair and forcing you down over the armrest. The couch was quite tall, so with your upper body pressed into the cushions and your hips snuggly in place against the armrest, you could barely touch the floor with your tiptoes. It was another uncomfortable position, but you ignored the pressure on your belly as your ass was suddenly exposed to the cold air of the room, your skirt flipped up out of the way. 

“Fuck you have a nice ass.” Gripping your backside with both hands firmly, Bakugou squeezed and spread you open, taking in the pleasant view. “What a fucking punk poser you are with these shitty fishnets. They don’t even do shit.” Digging his fingers into the holes along your crotch, he gave a rough yank, ripping the fabric open to give him easy access. “Holy fucking shit, you should see how wet you are, babygirl.” 

You whimpered at the feeling of his thumb stroking along your sex, the slick that coated your skin giving him no resistance. You could feel it, all over your inner thighs and aching cunt, but now your favorite person in the entire world could see it, too. He could see how wet he made you, how getting tossed around by him made you feel. 

I… I didn’t agree to all of this. I know it isn’t right. I didn’t want it to go this far, but… How can I stop him? Why would I stop him? He’s… I love him so much! I want him to touch me, even though I know I shouldn’t--

Your thoughts were cut off by your own gasp, your body tensing and legs bending at the knee involuntarily at the sudden pleasure that rocked through your body. You knew what it was, his tongue hot and eager against your clit as he ate you out. The sounds of him lapping at your cunt and grunting in delight at the taste of you had your mind spinning, the pleasure devouring your body. Not wanting to be heard by anyone outside, you moaned and gasped into the fabric of the couch cushion, digging your nails into it as you did everything you could to not writhe out of his grip. 

You were so sensitive to his touch that you could feel everything, from his nails digging into your hips to the way his tongue piercing slid across your clit. It was as if he knew exactly how to use it to be able to drive you completely insane, the hard metal sending shocks of lightning through your body with each stroke and flick. 

“Ba-Bakugou, ahh-!” You tugged and pulled at the couch cushion in your grip, digging the toes of your boots into the floor. “It’s too much! Wait--!” 

“Too much? Don’t be such a fucking wimp. You’re my little slut, aren’t you? You can take anything I give you.” As he stood back up, you looked up at him over your shoulder, having to peek through your messy hair to see him. That wicked and excited smirk was back, and you were only able to watch as he gripped your ass in his hands, sliding his cock between your cheeks to coat himself in your essence. “And I know what you want me to give to you. You want my dick inside you, babygirl?” 

Immediately, you stomach rolled nervously, eyes on the tip of his cock and the precum dribbling from it. You were on birth control, there wasn’t necessarily anything risky about that, but there was something else that pricked at the back of your mind. If you did this with him, then you knew that you could never settle for another man. You would want him forever, as you always had, but would you ever get a chance like this again? Would you ever even see him again after today? 

It doesn’t matter… I’ll do it! 

“Yes! Yes, Bakugou, I want you.” You were surprised as he leaned away from you for a moment, though what he was doing was quickly made clear as he came back into full view with a drumstick. The way that it was beaten and chipped told you that it was one he had used that performance, and the other was probably close by, set to be discarded or handed out to fans. 

“And why do you want me?” Bakugou dug the stick into your hose, giving a sharp yank to further rip the delicate fabric and expose more of your ass to him fully. “Just because I’m your favorite of the band?” 

“No!” You couldn’t help but become defensive. “I… I care about you more than that!” You bit down onto your bottom lip as he began to run the tip of the stick across your skin towards your cunt, mind racing with thoughts of what he was going to do with it. You could still feel and see his cock between your cheeks, hot and pulsing, and you were honestly surprised that he could hold out to tease you this long. Just seeing you like this, bent over and so submissive, was enough to keep him going long enough to torture you a bit. 

“You love me? Even though I’ve slapped you, pulled your hair, and fucked your throat until you went hoarse? Even though I have your ass bent over the couch and haven’t given you any more than a few minutes of pleasure?” Suddenly, he brought the stick down hard onto your ass, making you yelp out and tremble beneath him. The pain was so good! You wanted that again, and you received it without having to ask, a moan slipping from your lips. 

“Yes! I’ll love you no matter what you do to me! Always! I love it when you throw me around and use me like this! Please, use me more! I’m your little slut, Bakugou--” You were silenced as he leaned over you, his palm pressing into the side of your face and pushing the hair roughly away from obscuring your flushed and teary features. Now with your full attention, Bakugou smirked, narrowing his eyes at you. 

“No, no, my pet. Call me by my name.” 

The heat that rushed to your face made even his burning palms feel cool, trying to blink the tears away as they rushed down the side of your nose to soak into the couch. Was he being serious? He wanted you to call him by name… by his first name. Something that he never allowed anyone but those close to him to do, and you had seen him on more than one occasion snap at people when they did it. He was huge on respect and feeling dominant over others, so to him, his given name was sacred. 

“Ka… Katsuki…” You couldn’t speak any louder than an airy whisper, though his reaction was enough to tell you that he enjoyed it. Smirk growing, Bakugou sat up from over your back, his fingers curling into your ruined hair as he began to rut his hips against you. His cock stroked slowly against your ass, his tip teasingly pressing into your cunt before slipping up back between your cheeks. 

“Again.” The drumstick still in his free hand, he brought it down hard onto the already abused and welted cheek, right as your voice had begun to leave your lips. 

“Ka-ah! Katsuki!” With another whack, your body instinctively tried to shift away from him, though all it did was off set his cock. His tip slipped into you, making you pause, both from the feeling and from the irritated growl that left his chest. 

“What a naughty little bitch, trying to get me to fuck you before I say so.” 

“N-no, it was just--” 

“-- Well if you want it so fucking bad, I’ll give it to you!” Abandoning your hair and the drumstick, he gripped your hips tightly in both hands, sinking his cock into you with one quick snap of his hips. “I’ll show you who fucking owns you!” 

You didn’t have time to think or respond as he began to fuck you, fast and hard. Already, the pleasure was overwhelming, rolling through your body like electricity. It was perfect, everything you had ever imagined and more. The way he filled you up to the absolute brim, not leaving a single inch of you untouched, had the coil in your core tightening so quickly that you couldn’t even think about how to restrain it. You were going to cum very quickly, and you had never wanted to so badly in your life. 

“How does my cock feel inside you, slut?” 

“G-good,” You struggled to choke out a response behind your moans, which squeaked with surprise as he picked up the pace. “It feels good!” 

“You want to cum all over it, don’t you?” 

“Yes!” 

“Beg for it.” 

At first, you couldn’t even comprehend what he was asking you, your mind growing hazy to everything but the pleasure. “I… please!” You reached back, clutching onto his hand tightly, digging your nails into his skin in hopes that it would keep him latched to you. “Please! Please let me cum, Katsuki! I want to cum all over your cock! I love it!” 

When the pleasure stopped, all you could do was sit there in shock, the emptiness you felt as he pulled out of you making your stomach sink. Had you said the wrong thing? Before you could really ask him, you were grabbed by the elbows and lifted up off the couch, your body flipped so you were sitting on the armrest with your legs now loosely hooked around his hips. In the next moment, his strong arms were around your body, one hooked around your hips to pull them snug against his own while the other supported your upper body. What shocked you more than that was the fierceness of his lips against yours, kissing you with intense passion and aggressiveness that you couldn’t help but to give in. 

Wrapping your arms around his torso, you moaned and gasped softly into the kiss, his hips once again rutting against yours to stroke his length against your clit. For a moment, things seemed to feel different than they had during this entire experience. It wasn’t as if he were using you anymore, doing everything entirely for his own benefit. Instead, his touch was attentive, caressing you and moving your body into position without force. Even the way he kissed you was quick to change, from dominating your mouth to a more tender sweetness. You didn’t ever want it to end, but you allowed it when he pulled away, gazing up into his piercing crimson gaze as he pressed his forehead against yours. 

“I want to see that pretty face when you cum.” The growl against your lips was teetering on threatening, as if he were warning you to not even think about turning away or hiding your face in his shoulder. “I want to see how good my cock makes you feel, baby. So cum all over it like a good girl.” As he began to sink his cock into you slowly, you couldn’t control your reactions to it, Your eyes rolling back and fluttering closed as he bottomed out inside you, even biting down onto your bottom lip as you whined. 

“Yes, Katsuki--” Your voice hitched as he began to thrust into you again, his cock reaching even deeper inside you that it had been before. “--Please watch my face… See how happy you make me!” 

“That’s right, you slut. That’s because you belong to me, don’t you? You’d do anything for me.” As he fucked you, he relied on your grip on him to keep you up, both of his hands moving to grip your hips again. As the pleasure began to boil, you dug your nails into his back, your voice spiking as he became rougher with the added pain. 

“Yes! Yes, anything! I’ll be your little slut forever, Katsuki! Just please don’t stop!” It was impossible to tear your eyes away from his even if you wanted to, but it was more than just the fact that they were intoxicating. He may have wanted to watch your face for the visual expressions of pleasure, but he didn’t realize that his demand to keep your eyes on him gave away more than he probably had expected to. There was no anger or frustration that you had seen before. Instead, he seemed absolutely overwhelmed with the pleasure himself, just as you were, and the flushing of his cheeks paired with his upwards furrowed brow gave him almost a… desperate look. Like he was pushing himself to make sure he was fucking you as well as he possibly could. 

Was he feeling some self-consciousness about all of this, too? Or regret for pushing you to this, unwillingly at first? You didn’t know, and you knew in the end he wouldn’t tell you if you asked. 

“Fucking hell, babygirl, your pussy is so fucking tight,” Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours again, wrapping his arms back around your waist to hold you closer, both to the edge of the armrest and his body. “You’re the best fuck I’ve had in months. I hope you’re ready for my cum all over that pretty face--” 

“No!” You moved your arms to wrap around his neck instead, one hand pressing against the back of his head with fingers tangled in his hair. “Come inside me! Please, Katsuki, I want you to fill me up! It’s okay--” Your voice cracked with a cry of pleasure, your encouragement pushing him to fuck you harder and deeper. 

“Then cum for me, bitch. Cum all over my cock.” 

With that command, you couldn’t hold the coil still any longer. It shattered with his movements inside you, each rough hit of his tip against your cervix only prolonging your orgasm and sending wave after wave of harsh pleasure through your body. Trembling, you squeezed onto him tightly, clutching a fist full of his hair and kissing him roughly, moaning and sighing softly into the kiss as he didn’t give you a moment to breathe. Within moments after your climax, his thrusts became slower and erratic, before he was finally able to release. 

Groaning and cursing against your lips, Bakugou kept his gaze locked with yours, not giving you any room to move or pull back as he came inside you. How hot it was coating your walls made you shiver, squeezing his hips with your thighs and pulling yourself in closer. It was an incredible high, and as you both came down from it together, you both loosened your grip on each other. 

For a moment, you stayed connected, your head on his shoulder with your forehead pressed against his neck, able to feel his pulse against your skin and his chest heaving against yours. Had all of this really just happened? You were pressed up against your crush, his arms wrapped around you with one large hand stroking up and down your back softly. It was so strange compared to his aggressive demeanor just moments before. You knew that it should have made you happy, but instead, all it did was confuse you, and you felt a new wave of tears rush down your flushed cheeks. 

Able to feel your tears run down his chest, Bakugou gave a click of his tongue, prying you off him with little pressure. In the same moment, he slipped his semi flaccid dick from within your still aching cunt, pulling his boxers back into place to cover himself. “Fucking crying again? Seriously?” 

Steadying yourself on the armrest with your hands, you kept your gaze downcast, squeezing your legs together as you could feel his cum beginning to leak out. “I’m sorry, Bakugou, I just--” 

“--Katsuki!” 

His loud correction made you jump, looking up at his face in shock as he glowered down at you. His cheeks were still flushed red, but you were unsure if it was from the exertion of what you had just done or from something else. Reaching over, Bakugou wiped your cheeks roughly with his thumbs, before giving you a bump to the bottom of your chin, as if telling you to cheer up. “I already fucking told you, psycho fan. Katsuki.” 

“Right. I… should I leave now?” 

Unsure of what to do with yourself, you stared up at Bakugou expectantly, fiddling with the hem of your skirt. With another click of his tongue, Bakugou bent over and snatched the forgotten drum stick up off the floor, taking a few steps away towards the vanity that was neatly organized with what you assumed he wore during a performance. Picking up what looked like a marker, Bakugou wrote something on the thick end of the drumstick, before presenting it to you. “Here.” 

Feeling your throat begin to close up as nerves began to take hold of you, it took you a moment to even find the courage to look at the stick, scared of what he might have written on it. Of course, it was probably just his autograph, which he had promised you at the beginning of all this. There wasn’t much time to look at it, though, before Bakugou huffed, shoving it against your chest and forcing you to grab it. “Take the damn thing!” 

Body still feeling quite weak, you squeaked as you fell backwards onto the couch from his push, clutching the drumstick tightly. You could see the tips of Bakugou’s ears flush as he scoffed, pointing towards the door that led out into the hallway. It was… cute. 

“Will you get out! Fuck, you’ve wasted enough of my time for now, go back to your friends!” 

For now…? 

Sitting up, you took a moment to fix your hair and wipe your face again, using the edge of your shirt to help you. “Do I look clean enough?” 

“You look just as fucking hot as you did when I first walked in. Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.” Walking over towards his pile of laundry, Bakugou picked up the shirt he had caught you with, tossing it at you and hitting you in the face. “And take that shit with you! You like it so much; you can have it.” 

Clutching both of your new prized possessions close to your chest, you hopped up like an excited child, smiling wide and squealing as you hopped towards the door. “Aahh, thank you, Katsuki! Thank you! I’m… sorry again for intruding…” 

“Yeah, and I’m sorry for the welts on your ass. Now fuck off!” Bakugou barked again, trying to rush you out for whatever reason. Stepping outside, you couldn’t help but take a moment to lean back against the wall when the door shut, breathing heavily and blushing fiercely. In truth, you weren’t sure what to make of that entire endeavor, thrown into a confusing mix of shame, embarrassment, arousal, and longing. You shouldn’t have done that, and yet, you just didn’t want to leave his side. 

“Got a little lost, didn’t ya, babe?” 

The squeal that left your lips was quickly doused by the t-shirt in your hand, jumping and nearly slamming yourself back against the wall in shock of the unexpected voice. Standing across the hall was Kirishima, whose presence you were surprised you didn’t notice immediately. The mischievous smirk on his lips quickly widened into a pleasant grin, uncrossing his arms and pushing himself off the wall to stand up straight. Had he been waiting for you to come out?

“You skipped the bathroom, you know! It’s down that way. I decided to come look for you before we were forced to call security guards, but I guess Bakugou found you first.” 

“A-ah, sorry! I… saw him go in his room and I just wanted an autograph.” Holding your treasures close to your chest, your stomach rolled nervously as Kirishima leaned in closer, his eyes locked on the visible part of the drumstick. 

“Aahh, I get it! Bakugou can be kind of a jerk, I’m surprised! But uh… if you want to convince anyone else that you were just getting an autograph, you should really go to the bathroom. I’m sure Bakugou didn’t give you a mirror, but you look like you had a real good time.” You could hear the tone in his voice lower from friendly to flirtatious, and you quickly tried to fix your hair. 

“H-he told me I looked fine!” 

“To him you probably do. May I?” Still grinning with a friendly disposition, you glanced at both of Kirishima’s hands as he held them up in an offering of help, before nodding timidly. He began to run his rough fingers through your hair, fixing it back into a state of normalcy with a tender touch that was so opposite to what you had just experienced with Bakugou. “You’re cute. I can see why he was so into you right away.” 

“That isn’t… normal for him?” Your eyes glanced over Kirishima’s exposed muscular arms and sides, the deep cut in the arms of his tank showing all the way to his hips. You thought you saw his smile turn sly out of the corner of your eye, but you couldn’t be sure. 

“Nah sweetheart. Bakugou might be a lot of things, but he doesn’t go for random chicks.” Seemingly satisfied, Kirishima also used his thumbs to wipe your cheeks and under your eyes. “Such a messy thing.” 

“Thank you, Kirishima… I’m… I’m really sorry for causing you trouble.” Your heartbeat grew heavier as the redhead in front of you didn’t step back, towering over you just as the blonde had. “I’ll go to the restroom and then... Back to the group.” 

With a chuckle, Kirishima nodded, tapping the end of the drumstick a few times. “You do that! I’ll meet you back there, just going to have a few words with our drummer. Careful with this stuff, yeah? Someone might just try to take it.” 

“I will…”

“Go on, then, scoot.” With a nudge, you were pushed forward down the hall gently, only taking a moment to look back at the pleasant smiling man behind you. He was so different from Bakugou and yet they were the closest friends in the band. You knew that Bakugou was going to tell him everything, and you could only hope that it was going to end up a positive conversation. You hated the thought of Kirishima spending the rest of the VIP visit looking at you in disgust, or even the possibility of him putting you down in front of everyone. 

Flustered, you scurried down the hall into the bathroom, slipping into a stall. After pushing down what was left of your hoes and your drenched thong, you plopped to sit, relieving yourself as you held the t-shirt and drumstick close to your chest. Though, it dawned on you that you hadn’t even looked at what Bakugou had written on the stick, so growing curious, you held it with both hands and spun it slowly to look over every inch. The ridges, dents, and splints in the wood were marks of every beat Bakugou had played, a solid crack down the middle representing just how powerful he was. 

In truth, you felt like that drumstick. You were always a splintered person, emotionally broken and splintered off from the world. And yet, Bakugou had touched you with his passion. But did that mean that you were truly broken now? Could you ever be used again by any other person, or would you snap into pieces the instant your heart tried to find its beat again? 

Eyes tearing up, you tried to blink them away, carefully running your finger along the crack until it met with a smudge of black writing. Unlike what you expected, there was no autograph. Instead, the words “Call Me” were scribbled in the black ink, along with a series of numbers. 

Is that… his cell phone number?! It’s different from what I had found… Those must have been fakes.

Reaching down into your boot, you pulled out your phone, having placed it there for safe keeping, though you were surprised it stayed in place the entire time in Bakugou’s room. Without an ounce of hesitation, you created his contact and started a message, sending it so quickly you didn’t even consider the consequences, though his words did ring in your ear loud enough to make you think he was right beside you. 

“Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.”

He said to call him, but… texting is the same, right?

Me 10:45 pm: Katsuki? 

Bakugou 10:47 pm: hey babygirl. ever been to an after party? 

[white-collar-lawmen-and-conmen]

Future

A/N: Yikes. I cried several times writing this. I'm very proud of how it turned out - I think it's one of my strongest pieces on the entire blog - but be warned: bring tissues. Also, Mozzie's quote is originally from Abraham Lincoln. Requested by @ladykeqing

Summary: In the wake of Neal's death, a regret haunts you.

Word Count: 1,964

Peter sat you down and told you in his home. Well… just June’s home, now. The way Mozzie had trailed behind him, for once wordless… His face looking ashen… A part of you had known even before Peter asked you to sit down.

“He told me to say he’s sorry,” Peter said, barely more than a whisper that somehow felt deafening to your brain. “And that he loves you more than you know.”

The room was suddenly stifling. It was more than just the emotions in the air, layering over each other into a thick, caustic fog. It was the darkening of shadows that stretched in from the glass doors, and the silence of the record player that drove deep into their eardrums to muffle the little sounds of life coming from each other. The penthouse was, in an instant, so tiny and deathly empty, and you wished so dearly that you’d been at your own apartment. Staying the weekend had seemed like such a great idea before you abruptly became the only resident.

For a few seconds, you had a mind to just stay put and let the shadows come and take over. To let the agonizing ache of loss engulf your entire heart and continue expanding until it was bigger than your body and you disappeared forever. All so you wouldn’t have to keep looking at the records Neal would never again play and the table he would never again sit at. So you would never have to spend a last moment in the home of your lover before turning your back on it and, by extension, him.

Without him, there was nowhere to turn. The prospect of your remaining lifetime without your partner made your chest and throat tighten with another round of sobs. It all felt so dim. You tried to hold it back, but couldn’t last long before your hands were to your mouth and a strangled whimper was breaking from your lips.

Mozzie could have fooled you into thinking he hadn’t heard, so resolute he was in boring a hole into the rug with his stare. Peter looked towards you with deep brown eyes, solicitous and pleading at the same time. He was as stunned as you were – but where you were being crushed under the weight of isolation, at least Peter got to go home to El. You didn’t have anyone to go home to anymore. Hell, without Neal, did you even have a home at all?

You envied Mozzie. Really, you did. His Buddhist leanings might be a comfort to him, able to think of Neal’s absence as temporary, or his spirit as remaining around them in some way or form. But when you tried to imagine you could feel him still there, the encroaching shadows and silent record player and empty bed all drew together at once until you were drowning in the lack. It was as if your haywire senses were punishing you for thinking even for a moment that you could feel your loss as anything less than absolute. He was gone and the world was permanently less wonderful.

A gunshot. Neal hated guns so much. Maybe this was why.

Wait. No. Time didn’t work like that. Right? He couldn’t hate something for a reason that hadn’t happened yet.

Laughter that bordered on hysterical bubbled out of your throat as you anxiously covered your face, waiting for the mania to pass. Laughter was easier than sobs. It physically hurt less. Emotionally it was so much worse. You could feel the concerned eyes on you while you waited until your desperate giggles died, just like your partner.

“I never said,” you said, wresting the words out before cries – or worse, more laughs – forced themselves out instead. You looked down with shame and guilt. His last words to you were almost cruel. Tender in their meaning, but cruel in consequence – he would never know how deeply you cared for him. You hoped he did. Didn’t you show it all the time? But that was different from hearing the words out loud, and now not only were you going on without Neal, but you were going on carrying the burden of knowing you hadn’t been able to offer him the comfort of certainty in knowing he had been loved in life and would be grieved in death. “I never got to tell him I love him.”

The mere look that Peter gave you in response would have broken your heart if it hadn’t already been lying shattered somewhere between your stomach and the floor. It was as if he were imagining for himself not getting to tell Elizabeth how he felt, or worse, imagining how alone or afraid she might feel if she didn’t know there were somebody fighting for her and remembering her every day.

Sobs would come any moment now. Your throat was tighter than a string on a violin, and any minute you’d stop being able to breathe. In, out, you reminded yourself. Keep it together just a moment more. And then another moment after that. You couldn’t break down until you were alone. You didn’t know why you couldn’t break in front of Neal’s family, but didn’t have the energy to question it, either, not when you barely had the energy not to scream and weep into your hands.

“He knew.” Mozzie’s words were quiet but startling and said with all the confidence of Neal himself. “You didn’t have to say it.”

“But he deserved to hear.” Knowing it and hearing it were different games and Neal, for all his faults, deserved to hear it, too. “He deserved to come home. I don’t…” You lost your train of thought. Why were you talking about yourself when you weren’t the one whose brilliant life had been stolen? After a small shake of your head, you sniffed and shakily breathed out. “We had an entire future. And now there’s nothing left.”

You could see it passing in your imagination, all the little milestones that you’d come to anticipate. Content days at home, interspersed with adventures to his favorite places around the world, marked by marriage and birthdays and achievements and anniversaries. You’d never articulated them out loud, never even realized fully that you’d started to await those days, but now you saw them vanishing and you realized not only were you having to grieve for the best man you’d ever known, but you’d also have to grieve for the missed experiences and joys that he had lost, and the shared life that you had to give up on, as well.

Mozzie finally looked up to you and you noticed that his eyes were puffy and red behind his glasses. You didn’t even know someone could cry that silently. “The best thing about the future,” he quoted, slow and weighty, probably to keep his own voice level. “Is that it comes one day at a time.”

The comfort was meaningless to you. One day at a time was worthwhile when it was endless days of love and companionship. When that was gone, it was just day after day of being adrift with nothing to hold onto.

You sniffed again and replied in a surprisingly even voice, “My future is laying in the morgue.”

~Future~

Leaving Y/N was one of the hardest things Mozzie had ever done, and he had a lot of challenges and dubious decisions in his past. Leaving her to wallow and suffer rubbed him in every wrong way possible, except for the one where it meant – at least for now – that she would be safe. He didn’t think, if he stayed, that he would be able to hold back from blurting out the truth. He couldn’t even look at her for fear of spilling. Not once her tears started. He couldn’t watch his friend, and his best friend’s love at that, weep with agony she didn’t need to feel.

Neal begged to differ, though Mozzie knew that it tore his heart in two to hear her voice over the long-distance connection. When Mozzie was sure the suit was out of earshot, and that Y/N and June had both stayed inside, he lifted his phone from his pocket and breathed heavily in the cold December air that seemed to burn his lungs.

“Did you hear all that?” He asked, impressively steady and managing to get his criticism and support across with his tone simultaneously.

He took off his glasses, thankful Neal couldn’t see that he, too, needed to wipe his eyes dry. Alive was good. Alive but far away and unreachable – at least for the foreseeable future – was still painful.

“I did,” Neal confirmed, voice and heart both heavy somewhere at least a thousand miles away. “I wish…” Neal trailed off, and Mozzie wholly believed that he also needed a moment to compose himself. Why either of them bothered pretending not to cry, he didn’t understand, but they had already dedicated themselves to the farce. “She’s safer this way. If she looks for me, we’re all in danger.”

“If you let this go on, she will never forgive you.” Mozzie warned, thinking about the broken look on your face. It had been like watching a dropped plate shatter in slow motion to see the cracks begin to appear before your very spirit seemed to splinter. Then he thought about how desperately you wished Neal knew you loved him, and he thought maybe there was a chance that desperate love would override the anger. He amended, “Or, if she does, it’ll never be the same.”

“I know.” Neal agreed readily but with a quiver to his voice. “I want to come home, but not if it means visiting her grave.”

“The cautious way it is.” Mozzie put his glasses back on his face, bravely shoring up his willpower. “I can’t know where you are, and she can’t know you’re out there.”

“Keep an eye on her for me.”His voice was full of sorrow and longing.

“Of course.” Neal didn’t even need to ask. If there came a time when the Panthers were dealt with and Neal could – well, if not return home, at least be reunited with Y/N somewhere without an extradition treaty, Mozzie would be the first to set it in motion. “Be well, mon frére.”

“You, too, Moz.”

The line went dead.

~Future~

Approximately four thousand miles away, on a windy beach, Neal stood barefoot in the dark, watching the light from the moon reflect off the choppy, shallow surf. The breeze drifted through his hair and bit across his face with the sting of northern weather.

He looked down at the open phone in his hand, fighting every feeling in him to turn it back on and beg Mozzie to take the phone back up to his former penthouse. Or, worse, to turn his whole body around and get on a ferry to the mainland, and fly back to New York as fast as possible to hold you in his arms. The heartbreak in your voice had been almost too much for him to bear. It would have been, if not for his terror of being reckless and selfish and letting you pay the price.

He had known you loved him, and because he loved you so unbelievably much in return, he couldn’t go home. Not yet. He would work on it from afar, where no one knew he was breathing, much less could trace him back to his darling. One day, if he were incredibly lucky, he could come home and you would still have space for him in your heart and mind. For now, he would have to settle on replaying your words in his head.

I love you, too.

Neal hurled the phone out into the ocean.

[buoyant-breeze]

hii ! i’ve just found your blog but i love it already tbh 🙏

I’d like to request an event matchup if that’s alright 👀 I go by she/her and I’d like a male romantic match!

my personality type is enfp 7w6, and as for characters I’m similar to, i would definitely say yoimiya the most! i’m very energetic and talkative around others, and i usually try to stay on good terms with everyone. i’m an artist firstly, but will indulge myself in anything creative when given the opportunity. i think that’s the direction i wanna take my life in; using a thing that makes me happy to make other people happy too? if that makes sense haha

aesthetic wise it’s a bit like a mixture of extremely girly with emo / alternative? that’s the best explanation I can think of anyway? and i tend to put a lot of effort into my appearance, i’m that mf that takes hours to get ready and makes everyone late 💀

i can admittedly be a bit sensitive, but i don’t like to trouble others with it too much. i tend to just act based on my feelings rather than thoughts first. i can definitely be impulsive at times, and if you give me the opportunity to do something irresponsible or childish there’s a p good chance I’ll take it.

in a friend i absolutely need someone with a good sense of humour. it’s not really a matter of outwardly introverted or extroverted when we first meet, but just straight up can you make me laugh when we’re together. i can’t be around people with dry and awkward conversation, and as much as I do talk myself, I love hearing other people talk too.

in a partner i again like a good sense of humour, but that aside, i like a strong protective type, but in a sweet way? it makes me feel v cared about. i can be a bit clingy, not to the point that it’s uncomfortable, i’ll probably just be around a lot. someone who needs their own space more often or would be the type to push me away probably isn’t too ideal.

my love language is physical touch both giving & receiving, but i’m also easy to fluster with words / compliments, and not at all hard to impress. tiny things don’t go unnoticed by me, and just being thoughtful is enough.

i hope this is alright! i tried to get all of the points you asked on the original post but im thinking this may possibly be too long, my apologies 😭 thank you in advance if you do get around to me, but of course no pressure at all! <33

hi, friend! here's your match-up!

your vision would be dendro! to me, dendro represents a sense of ‘whimsy,’ as the land of sumeru is all about consciousness, dreams, illusions, but also, of course, wisdom. the way you gently described the attributes about you reflects the delicate nature of flowers, but also how righteously and brilliantly they bloom. i think this is also a good metaphor / analogy for how you interact with others, since you have a tendency to remain reserved, but then you open up to the right people, showing all your true colors in a flurry of petals! i easily imagine your type of personality with soft pastels in earthy tones, like pale greens, soft pinks, and pearly blues, or even more vibrant shades, like poppy red and hibiscus orange! but of course, this doesn’t mean you’re excluding yourself from any dark colors, as that is just as valid in nature as it is in people.

your weapon would be a bow! i’m a little biased, though, because as you were talking, i kept thinking about the hunter’s path bow that came out with tighnari’s banner. i feel like that is something you’d especially use as a character, because it has an essence of sharpness in the way it looks aesthetically (blades protruding towards the user, and the shards of green energy). it has a delicacy, but also a viciousness to it that also closely relates to dendro, but reflects you as a person. i also strongly feel you’d have an ability similar to ganyu’s, where you throw out a type of flower and dance away in a trail of light, as it seems to fit how you approach social interactions or situations.

you would be friends with ayaka, yoimiya, and itto! although some of these characters don’t seem to really click together, the main thing that caught my eye was how they’d likely click with you. 

although ayaka is more on the formal side of things, i don’t believe that should write her out immediately. in spite of the fact you prefer those who can make you laugh, i strongly feel like you would get along with ayaka’s kindness, as well as her delicate approach to all things. her earnest and profound nature would probably make you feel more optimistic and at peace with your life, even at the hardest of times. i feel mostly that she is the person you turn to for daily conversations and activities together, such as going to restaurants or enjoying the town’s shops. ayaka is the type of person who will eventually break free from formality and be more open and comfortable; you two would definitely have a variety of inside jokes over the years that would send you into laughing fits.

on the other hand, i feel that itto would really brighten your spirits and bring that source of laughter you sorely desire in friendships. he might not necessarily be the person you lean on with all of your problems, but he’s definitely a good partner in crime, and an excellent source of bear hugs. his antics, especially around friends he cares about, have a tendency to lighten all spirits!

lastly, yoimiya would be an excellent friend for you! her laughter and smiles are infectious, but she also would be a proud friend of ayaka, as well. the three of  you could go on all sorts of fun adventures, and enjoy life together in a light-hearted, nostalgic way that makes your chest all fuzzy and your heart ache. yoimiya shows a lot of her affection for you through gifts, so don’t be surprised when she starts handing you sparklers or candy-shaped fish (like japanese candy art). but most importantly, yoimiya’s greatest gift to all her friendships are the memories.

regardless, both yoimiya and ayaka share a love and appreciation for artistry that would not only resonate with you, but also be enlightening. the fun thing about artists is that we can find inspiration from anywhere, and both of these people practice art in two very different ways. because of that, it could really expand your own world, in turn!

finally, your soulmate is thoma! as you may have guessed by now, i feel that you would strongly fit in with the cast of inazuma. as for why thoma in particular, i genuinely just feel like he would speak to you at the soul. he checks off all your boxes that you listed to me, but i also feel like it’s more than just a checklist.

thoma is careful, earnest, gentle, and tender with all he does. he isn’t afraid to laugh when you slip on the ice, but he’s just as easily going to crouch down and offer you his arm so you can get back up again. he makes you feel more confident in your victories, but also appreciate that defeats just mean you can try again, better this time. there’s no doubt whenever he looks at you just how much he cares, he oozes with it: with all of his affection, his hope, his dreams. you can see it in the crinkle of his eyes as he smiles, the way fondness just seeps into the curve of his cheekbones, in the way he leans his head into his hand as he looks at you.

when you’re sick, he’s making you the best soup he knows. he’s willing to go the extra mile, in all things. he’s eager to give his affection, in every way he can: not just in the way he looks at you, but in everything else. you find little treat bags waiting for you, because he knows you’re studying / working and could use a snack. you find your room clean when you get home, even though you didn’t ask. the wind blows very strong and whips up your hair, and he reaches out with his soft hands, keeping each strand out of your face so you can see, unbothered by the climate.

and gods, how he would want to hold you. just to breathe you in and nuzzle his face into your hair, to tuck his hand around your thigh and smile into your mouth as he kisses, and kisses, and kisses you. and i feel like that type of connection is one you deeply crave, but also is one that would truly fulfill you.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Yeah it’s possible, if you knowing about them isn’t what’s best for your path. Usually if you are meant to be going though a period of self development or focus, the energy between counterparts is less intense because each is spending it on themselves. Which ironically, when you come out of it can make you closer because you are both more yourselves which means closer to one another. Soulmates you may not be aware of at all, especially if they are meant to surprise you. ///

That's it. Since as a kid, i've never been one to rush into relationships like "oh my god i gotta get someone soon" or i'm going to assume that anyone who dazzles me is my soulmate, I always felt like I was meant for someone, i used to say "there's someone out there to me so that’s why i'm not desesperate" when telling my friends about being calm unlike other girls my age who were intense for boys. I think i have to work on things internal and external to be able to receive the soulmate in my life, it's a matter of time. I also think this person will come into my life when I least expect.

In 2021, i used to ask around in tarot blogs about my soulmate, i'd like to discover personality traits or the dynamic with my destined person, but i got all "🙁" when each reader were picking in a different personality (i know we have a lot of soulmates but i specified for them) plus it wasn't like "passing the vibe" you know, the person was totally different, i was like "ah😐. I don't know if i would like to date someone like this" "where would i find someone with this job, if i don't even go to these places" also the description were too vague and cloudy,

i relate the insights of our type of person and soulmate that astrochart can give.

I think of the cherry of the cake, i don't know if you believe it, or if what was said is true but when I went to church (i think is a spiritual place, i don't go anymore but i love God's guidance) and the pastor out of a blue started talking about divination and how we're not supposed to know what's going to happen, about God's blessings that are coming and we have to stop because that can have consequences if we keep messing with it... 👀 i felt called out and slowed down about this, now i only know what i'm allowed to know, and i won't ask here about my soulmate, i will only wait.

It's the first time i open about this with someone. I personally don't know anyone older and wise into spirituality, psychic, intuitive or reader and my family is religious intolerant who doesn't like anything other than God and just God.

there's my dad's stepmother who reads tarot and is spiritual, she was a witch but as I grew up with my intolerant mother who hates her she would laugh if I asked for advices like this, she's also nosy, gossipy, idk i dont trust her to tell things like this lol. Damn, why did it take me so long to send ask to your blog? lol it's good to have you here sharing knowledge for free.

Ohhh a lot to impact

1– you are comparing yourself to others to make yourself feel superior. Your decision to work on yourself and not focus on relationships doesn’t mean that those who focused on relationships were desperate. In fact, by not opening up to relationships beyond the person you think is meant for you, you may have kept yourself back from valuable lessons that would have you appreciate your soulmate even more. Things that would make you a better partner. I’m so happy I dated my exes. Because when someone treats me right, I will really know what that means. I have basic skills of what it means to live with someone, I know more about how to communicate my own needs and how to see what others need from me. I think it’s great you want to work on yourself but I encourage you to look deeper into if you really are content waiting for who you believe is made for you, or if you are scared to put yourself out there and get hurt. Sometimes playing it safe and sitting on the sidelines of life can give you valuable insight but it can also keep you from playing the game.

2– that’s the problem though isn’t it? Why are you so focused on them? That’s you trying to control things. You’re asking to get an answer that you already have formed in your mind is correct. My soulmate is like this… Limited thinking. I’m really glad you noticed this and changed. I’m proud of you. That’s not easy to do. Seeing ourselves clearly can be the hardest thing.

3– I’m glad you feel like you can talk to me here. I appreciate everyone here for their patience and acceptance. I know some of my responses are kinda harsh and direct and thank you for understanding. I mean the beginning of this response I’m like ooo that’s a bit… but like that’s what I’m here to do. I do that with my family and my friends and people I’m seeing too. It’s not something I want to change. I used to hate it because I felt like it made me hurt people and they didn’t like me, they said I’m too much. But now I realize this is my gift. So many people in life go through it without someone to really call them on their bullshit. I’m blessed as fuck to have friends who do. I just have to call shit out when I see it and it’s not me making a judgement of you, always an observation, and you don’t have to agree with it but I still have to say it.

4. I hope you can heal your mother wound. It’s hard. I think one of the greatest things about therapy was seeing the intricacies of the way my parents instilled stuff in me. And now I can see how their parents instilled it into them. Im blessed I have such wonderful people as parents. Both my mom and my dad are genuinely kind and loving people and they are open to growing and changing. I told my therapist today sometimes I feel like I’m watching my parents grow up. It’s peculiar but like sometimes when we talk, I’m like yay mom is finally getting it, or my dad and how he handles things now. I’m just so proud of them. It’s hard letting our parents be people and change and grow too. I struggle to let my mom be different, to realize how she acted when I was growing up may not be how she acts now.

Thanks for sending in so much for me to respond to. I’m rooting for you nonniekins, 2023 is gonna be your year.