#my partner and I actually had a really cool conversation where we went over stuff like this and it was a lot of fun

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Another good example of this is the Southern phrase "Bless your heart". It can either be the most genuine, almost familial way of expressing sympathy for what someone is going through or did go through. And then on the other hand it can be the most sardonic, scathing way of saying "you are the dumbest piece of shit I have ever seen and you deserve what's coming to you." There is literally no in between here. And also let it be known that the effects are increased tenfold in both directions when an old Southern lady says it to you.

Altogether, I really like the way americans say "can I help you?" as a polite general one-size-fits-all stand-in for "who the fuck are you/what the fuck are you doing here/how the fuck did you get in here/what the fuck are you staring at/what is your fucking problem." Such a polite way of going "bitch what the fuck."

[crabonfire]

heya! could u do scout (or all the mercs if you can) x gyaru!reader hcs :o? like everyone suspects [merc] to have a badass s/o cuz their also so badass but in reality their all glammed up and lookin like their goin to a beach party 😭 thanks! and if you don’t want to do the req/can’t do it no problem! ^_^

Scout's Gyaru! Partner!!

character: scout (mercs are barely involved)

note: this cute asf I had to do it lol 😭

The other mercs are involved a bit

I made the S/O super cheery and a little aggresive but that's just cause idk I think its funny LOL

Gender ain't specified but they act more femininely!! love me feminine ppl 😚

warnings: none

♡Scout♡

• Ever since Scout started to date you, from the way he described you as "Cool, confident and badass" they expected somebody who actually fit the description.

• The men didn't care about it at first. He'd babble on about you randomly in conversation, and automatically, they'd groan and try to change the topic.

• And from the way he'd always do what you told him when you two called over the phone, they assumed you were somebody stricter than he was.

• So they were a little shocked to find somebody with dashing makeup, long painted acrylics with the most glamorous, pastel colored outfit they've ever seen. Your hair was dyed brightly in certain areas, you carried a purse embedded with pearls and cute pins...you were the OPPOSITE of what they were thinking of.

"Oh! Are you Engineer? Jeremy's told me all about you!"

"...Yes-"

"About Jeremy, have you seen him? He was supposed to come with me to a party but he totally ditched on me and he won't answer my calls. The asshole he is."

"Well-"

"OH! I haven't introduced myself, I'm [S/O]! Sorry, that was really rude of me."

He paused, cracking up an awkward smile.

"I could tell."

"Haha, yeah, anyway, have you seen him? He's such a dick for leaving me like that."

"He's in the training grounds with the others, I'll take you there, sweetheart."

"Aw, you're so nice. Thanks!"

He smirked, walking you over the base. How did you find the base? He doesn't know. Does he want to see Scout get yelled at? Yea.

♡♡♡

• "Jeremy what the hell?! You left me out there alone you dick. So fuckin' rude, and you didn't answer my calls..."

"OW- I TOLD YOU IM SORRY-" He winces, rubbing over the area you hit his head at. "I was busy..."

"Busy with what? Being a little bitch?"

• The mercs who watched from afar snickered, he gave you a frown and you retorted your insult.

"I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it babe."

"Yeah yeah, and I'm sorry for not telling you anything. I was busy, and I left my phone in my room."

"Okayyyy, I won't yell at you anymore. I came to ask if you wanted to go to the beach this week? I got this super cute beach set and like, we could take cute pics together. It'd be sooo fun!"

"Hell yeah, people will see my muscles and stuff."

• You chuckled, "Yeah! Your strong muscles, and we'll both look so cute together."

He smiled at that, then he looked you up and down.

"I never got a good look of you, but damn...you look real cute today." He muttered, "Are these new?" He said as took your hand in his, admiring the colored nails with their cute accessories.

You grinned brightly, "Yeah! I'm so glad you noticed." He felt himself melt, "They're nice. I like the colors."

• He was always so enamored by you. You were so energetic, so confident...you always wore whatever you wanted and did whatever you wanted because you never cared, and best of all you had the cutest fashion sense.

"I like how you did your make up today."

"Your hairs nice. It must've taken a while, yea?"

He started to comment on your outfit, telling you how cute you looked, making you chuckle and blush at his corny remarks. You two went quiet, and honestly, it was a new sight for these mercenaries.

• They'd never seen him so quiet, so enchanted by somebody before. Where he actually stops talking for once, and just looks at you with such love.

They almost don't believe it, Scout...BEING ROMANTIC? ain't no way.

"Wow, He's actually shutting up?" Medic says, "Pinch me, I'm dreaming." Sniper replied, making everybody crack a smile. They kept watching as you leaned down to give him a kiss, pulling back with the softest gaze they've ever seen on anybody.

"HEY! NO ROMANCE ON THE BATTLEFIELD!" Soldier screamed, making them both flinch and turn to their direction. "HEY HEY, WHERES THE PRIVACY AT? Fuckin perverts." He stands up from his bench, walking over with you outside as you chuckle in reply. He sticks his tounge out at them mockingly, as if saying "Your just jealous" before he does.

• Spy rolls his eyes, but there's a slight smile on his face. His son has found somebody good, somebody he can be happy with, even though they weren't somebody he expected. He's happy for him.

♡♡♡

I would've added more merc content for this but I liked how I wrote scout,, he loves ur fashion sense babe omggg

Honestly i miss writing scout, he's a big reason I'm really into tf2 in general haha.

[changbinsboobs]

interesting so you would say its quite accurate to how they would personally view xyz things? do you then get dreams of them often or not at all? if you get the same info months later then u would know its accurate to what they personally desire or idfk maybe they prefer something else later down the line but i read readings on several groups and theres quite a few similarities among different types of members so leaders seem to be quite possessive maybe tad controlling of their partners, like hongjoong as well for example

I do wonder sometimes bc it is impossible to really know them only from their on screen personality and kpop likes to blur things out that may be considered an imperfection? idk how to describe it but like they cant really be fully themselves so in readings it gives a greater sense of who they are without being too invasive kinda like inside info without doing the stalking that sasaengs do to get such info.

would be so cool to know them personally like u get to see the raw them what they think on xyz subjects not the stuff they cant tell their fans. i bet they have good amounts of gossip about their teammates too. i wonder if their interests in lesser common people stems from the fact kpop is so particular that when theh meet someone entirely different to what kpop is or stands for then it really draws them in to that person or maybe those. i mean with todays technology idols do sometimes have less boundaries or maybe the tendancy to overshare things that dont need to be shared so maybe in readings idols look for people outside of kpop world and maybe thats why they show up in tarot readers dreams so often bc they have particular message or situation going on n they want to show it to someone. sorry for rambling but theyre such interesting ppl.

who in skz do u think would have maybe not a crush on the same person but idk they could have a desire to win the person over from another member if that makes sense?

Hey, so no i don't really dream much about them anymore. But i used to have A LOT of very very interesting dreams with them during a certain period of time. I especially often dream about Lee Know, and i had very interesting dreams with Felix and Hyunjin too. Changbin too but he was kind of a hidden protector and it wasn't really him...ufhfbf i don't know how to explain it but i think I'll make a post someday and love to hear other peoples dreams with them too💗 about your other question with the similarities in readings etc, i did another answer before your where i explain my view a little bit.

And yeah i think tarot is a great way to get closer to the idols - of course consumed and performed in a healthy, respectful way - i believe there might actually be lots of idols that may somehow feel relief through such reading, on an uncounscous level because we shine light on matters they aren't allowed to talk about but would love to express. Like in Chan's case, as i said he seems very eager to "talk" during my readings and is always ready and the first one to spill the tea freely😂 i sometimes can see him giggling and wiggling in excitement, or giving me a spicy side eye or whatever😂

And regarding your question at the end, i still haven't done enough readings on them to be able to just make a speculation, so i layed some cards on it. I don't have a definitive answer but i belive someone was in a relationship and there were 2 members that had their eye on that person. I believe on of the "admirers" was felix. And i have a strong feeling the member with the "girlfriend" was Changbin. Now i put those "" on girlfriend, because it doesnt seem to me that they were necesarily in a relationship, but rather courting? Like they definitely had some give and take at least energetically and in conversations. I cant really tell how far that connection went and if ever really was a relationship but there was def something. And 2 memebrs looked at that person with drool coming out of their mouth😂 felix being one of them, and again i see that weird sleazy energy that freaks me out🥲 its not malicious but its really weird and unnerving, he is very obvious in his liking to that person, but he doesnt take any steps or seem threatening, but his energy is so shameless and direct and penetrating. The other person was more hidden with his liking, but i think changbin still knew. He def knew about felix, and i think he suspected about the other person too. Weirdly enough i dont pick up on him being mad or feeling betrayed or threatened. Quite the oposite actually, i think felt like a boss😂 having "access" or a "chance" with something that others also want. He felt powerful in a way.

*take this with a grain of salt.

[pbandjesse]

I'm just leaving the museum now. Today was really good! I feel really happy about everything that I accomplished today. I am also very tired and now currently driving directly into the sun which I don't love. But hopefully it will dip below the skylines soon.

I did not sleep amazing. Waking up was very hard. I did not want to get out of bed and I was pretty miserable. But I got myself together and I felt pretty cute. I love this jumpsuit. It just fits me really well and felt very happy in it. James and me would leave the house on time and we stopped for breakfast which took forever. The person in front of us cut us off and then proceeded to order a coffee with six creams and six sugars. But I guess they really needed it.

Once we got to the museum James help me set up. They carried all of my stuff over it for me because they're the best. And they would print out the teddy bear hospital flyer I made. And then it was kind of slow. I mean there was a lot of people but I wasn't making a lot of sales. I wasn't that concerned though. I just want by the end of the season to have made approximately $100 a market. And by the end of today I had exceeded that goal. A lot of it though is because I had done so well the first week that I was able to make under $100 for the last two weeks and still even out to 100 on average. And the sales that I made today were nice. People were really kind and I got a lot of really good comments and people telling me how cute my stuff was. And that always feels good. And I was approached by someone to possibly be on their podcast about being an entrepreneur. So that's cool. I also just had a really nice time creating my knitting projects and working on a craft.

I actually told that to Stanley earlier that besides everything else it is nice to have dedicated craft time. Dedicated sitting outside in the nice breeze and making things. And it was pretty windy today. I was actually a little worried because sometimes when it's so windy it becomes an exhausting day. But I did really good keeping everything on my table and I didn't have to chase things. A couple of my pins did get blown away but people were brought them back and it was not a big deal.

I had some really nice conversations too. Me and Ann talked a lot. And I told her that my plan today was to follow through on trying to get that tortoise. And I got nervous at one point and I was like well I can't commit commit because what if somebody beats me to him. He's going to be on sale 50% today and maybe somebody else wants him and they get him before me and that's just the universe saying that it wasn't time. But I had high hopes.

The day went pretty quickly though and I felt good with my sales and when I packed up Stanley help me carry my boxes over because he's a gentleman. And then I went inside to check on James. Jenny had given us some extra baked goods so I brought James cinnamon bun. And then I was off to Petco.

When I got there I went directly to where I knew the Russian tortoise was. The one I had seen weeks ago. And he was still there. He was a boy. You can tell by their tail curling around their leg. Which is an interesting tell. And I went and found a worker and I was like hey I'm here for that tortoise. And they got so excited. Both the girls that work there were like he used to have a partner in the box and that turtle got sold and he seemed so lonely and we're just so excited that he's going to get a new home and they had some good information about him really liking kale but not liking fruits. Which I don't think they naturally eat fruits so that is totally expected. And they said he spicy but not bitey and is very social. And I was just so excited. He was a little dirty. I think because he was nervous he had pooped on himself a little bit. But she boxed them up for me and took them to the front. I walked around the reptile area a little longer and got two different types of substrate based on my research. And then I also got a nice rock water dish for him. I should have gotten the hide but I thought I had one so that is something I will have to fix tomorrow. But for now at least he has enough substrate to bury himself in. And if we know anything from Samson the box turtle that is very important to their well-being.

I was so excited to bring him home though.

I left there with my new friend and went straight home to get his enclosure set up. My plan tomorrow is to work on an outdoor enclosure and try to build that out but for now I have a tank inside that I thought would be good. And it's not as wide as I think I will like in the future. But for now it is a good option.

When I got back home my neighbors are outside and I was like I got to show you guys my new tortoise. And I think they thought I was very silly but they were excited for me. And then I went inside and I put our tortoise in the sink. I didn't know where else to keep him and I thought that I could at least clean them off. I have a dedicated toothbrush for that and he was scrubbed up all clean. And while he was getting cleaned off I also was soaking the compressed coconut fiber substrate. I did not soak it for as long as it told me to but instead I broke it up by hand and squished the water into it and that worked really well.

I put the forest floor substrate in first and then I put the coconut fiber on top. And then I put the little dish in and I started putting some fake plants in. And I definitely want to make like a more tricked out enclosure so that he has lots of opportunities to climb on things and just has enough enrichment. But for now I think that this works just fine.

Once he was cleaned off in the tank was set up I brought him over and I put him in and he immediately started digging. So that made me really happy. And I cut up some lettuce for him and by the time I was getting myself ready to go again he was eating and seemed very happy.

Definitely hard to tell on a creature with no eyebrows but he seemed good.

I played with CP for a little bit and I had a little frozen pizza. I cleaned myself up and I fix my makeup and 10 it was basically time for me to go again. I left the house and I drove over to locust point. I stopped at the dollar store and I got a frame and a piece of candy. I walked around for a little bit to see if there was anything that I thought I could use for the turtle but didn't see anything great so I paid and headed to the museum.

I was really excited to see James when I got there. They gave me a big hug and told me I was pretty and then they went home to play a game with their friends and meet our new tortoise. We weren't sure what the name was going to be but at that point we had a couple options. Frank short for Franklin, quiche, focaccia, and bug. But none of them felt right. Franklin was the closest because of the television show Franklin the turtle but I still wasn't feeling it. I really wanted a food name but the ones that we had thought of just didn't feel correct in my mouth.

So I would tell Merrill and Jesse about the tortoise and ask them for some ideas and the name crab cake came up. And honestly it feels perfect. He's kind of shaped like a crab cake and it has really good nickname potential. CC is a really good nickname. Lump. Little lump. Just really good overall name plus it's Baltimore. And it's a food. So I think that is what the name I'm going to go with if I don't come up with something better by the end of the evening.

So I was very excited to talk about my tortoise and then I would run off to the print shop to make the couple a nice print with their names. But I would also make one with their last names just for us. So we celebrated the Cox Johnson wedding and honestly it was a great time.

I was only there to be an educator. But even in doing so I got to hear about Merrill finally getting an actual contract that everyone's happy with and I now have some more clarity on what my guaranteed hours will be in September. And I'm pretty happy with it. I definitely would like more hours but it is a good step forward and it is at least progress in the conversation. So that feels good.

And the event was fun. I was only there for 3 hours but I talked to a lot of good people and I gave my talks about the fire and the machine shop. I didn't feel like as amazingly on like I did the last time but I think that was partially because I was having people that were coming in in the middle of my talking so then I would have to like circle back and that is always hard for me. But I still having a really good time and people were really interested in and they kept thanking me for telling them stuff and they love that they were learning. And that always feels really good.

I also decided to wear my new Crocs today. Which I kept referring to as my formal props because I wore them to a wedding. But they make me feel so tall and they're very comfortable. I definitely think I prefer wearing them with socks then barefoot but I think being barefoot will have its place. Like when things are wet. Like at the beach. But in general I think this is going to be a sock situation. They are comfortable though on my feet feel really nice.

At 6:30 the guests all went to dinner and I went to the front desk. I would drop off my drink and then went to find Merrill and Jesse and we would go and eat some of the appetizers. There really wasn't any vegetarian options so it's mostly just eating the crackers. Little bruschetta. And we just chatted and things were good everyone was busy. Merrill was in charge of this event so Jesse was back and Mr platt's office in the cannery writing contracts. And after he had gone back there me and Meryl were sitting at the front desk talking but at 7:30 approached and it was time for me to go I went back to say goodbye to him and he was wearing the full Mr Black costume. Hat tie and vests. It was so funny. He's so silly. But it was definitely a good night and while I wish that I could have been there for the entire thing because I really do enjoy doing the events I am a little tired from working all day and just a lot of activities so it's nice that I get to come home.

And that's where I am now!! I'm home and looking forward to hanging out with my husband and my animals. I feel tired but happy.

And I hope you do too! I love you all. Goodnight!!

[stillgeekingout]

it’s time once again for my time-honored tradition of recapping my year. I always say I’m not gonna make it unbearably long and it always gets longer. as always this is mostly for myself and no one is obligated to read. reflections on 2022 lezgo

started the year with covid. so really, it can only go up from there

that being said, being quarantined allowed me to finish a story I’d been working on for 3 years (and maybe someday will actually post somewhere despite how niche it is bc I’m v proud of it)

spent most of the first part of the year intensely preparing for wedding

GOT MARRIED! it was great! I love my wife! I loved having a big party with all my friends and her family came from London and we just had a really nice time! selfishly I loved the speeches, I loved hearing everyone I love say nice stuff about us lol. I go back and forth on if the amount of work we put into it was worth it bc it really kinda wrecked me for a bit there but like, it did turn out beautiful and very Us so now that I’m out of it I guess it was worth it. but I would not recommend that amount of DIY to anyone hahahaha #wifecity

we had a second wedding related party in london over the summer and I got to meet a ton of people from ingrid’s life which I loved! and my family came to london and all our sisters got to hang out together :)

honeymoon in france! it was very nice despite being very chaotic at the end

went to atlanta two times and miami for the first time despite having always lived in fl (and st augustine and tally to see a play and tampa where ingrid befriended azizi the penguin)

concert year for real. did not get to see twice (and I would’ve seen lucius if it worked out) but I DID see bleachers (even tho I was very sick lmao) (not contagious but I was miserable), aly & aj, the chicks, and muna!!!! (ps my love for muna is so so strong this year) (pps we made a friend at aly & aj and now her and her partner are our friends)

full year of porch garden had its successes and failures. two hurricanes and two freezes in one year didn’t really help but I’m learning more things about how the sun works on my porch throughout the year and that’s helpful (one of those two hurricanes had my name)

in general working at a plant store for 8 months of this year taught me so much more about plants! I love plants I can’t wait to have a real garden

a lot of really upsetting political stuff but let’s not go into that

ok but speaking of politics I became so much more into socialist alternative this year lol I would join if it wouldn’t mess with ingrid’s visa application (us govt if you see this no you didn’t)

speaking of politics again I think I have gotten better at having actually productive conversations with people bc I’m trying to focus more on local policies etc

didn’t watch as much new tv this year but I did finally watch russian doll, also our flag means death & a league of their own both came out this year and were great. oh and heartstopper was cute and several shows I like had a good s2. when did abbott elementary start? I’ll mention that too

got another new roommate & she is cool :) she also has a gf (now fiancee) in england who stayed with us for the summer lol it’s a trend

we played a variety of dnd: my sisters/family, murder mystery that shannen & I planned, a lil mini game with our roommate and ex roommate and shannen... didn’t play a lot of times but when we did it was fun

I won’t say I kept up with yoga but I kept up with intermittent yoga

I read dracula lol (I’ll put goncharov on this same bullet point cause it entertained me a lot)

(carry on people if you’re reading this I apologize in advance) I joined a carry on discord after lurking on the fandom for years and it has been... idk. interesting. I like the people a lot. I am really not a fandomy person and so being around it All The Time has made me like the books less lol just from exhaustion. I did mute all the fandom related channels tho and that’s been a better experience though I still debate if it was worth it. but I keep not leaving bc I like the people lol. also it led to some fun gift exchanges (I made a very elaborate puzzle game insp by shara wheeler) and me doing (a lot of) goattober so I got some hand lettering done

related, wrote my first (and probably last) fanfic that wasn’t about my or shannen’s OCs. it was about agatha wellbelove and I’m glad I did it but overall I don’t think I like writing fic (which makes sense, I don’t really like reading fic either)

I’m gonna give infamous a bullet point why not (I just really like having access to be able to message writers I like about their writing) (hype for gwart)

speaking of, rainbow started posting on instagram more and I started commenting more and now I have deluded myself into thinking rainbow and I are friends :)) she posted my embroidery and called me “a very generous reader” what else am I supposed to think

continued torturing ingrid with black midi memes

went to a friend’s wedding and had complicated feelings

ingrid and I made a bunch of playlists with characters that exist only in the playlists. I got very attached to the characters but I had to stop bc it was getting to the point where I couldn’t listen to music without trying to connect it to one of them

spent a lot of time and money (and wedding gifts) to make our apartment really nice and I love it now! we have decorations and art and lamps and nice kitchen things and I just love it. despite a brief very annoying time when we had a leak in the ceiling it’s been a v good year of our apartment. now I just need to save up for new couches lol bc our couches are. not great.

we hosted some parties at our house (gay wrath, halloween, painting night...) and just generally are trying to hang out with a variety of friends!

I spent the summer working outside which was horrible and I got sick a lot. also I just generally had not great health this year and kind of came to terms w the fact that my weird body stuff is a type of chronic illness (related I had to deal w depression several times this year boooo)

a lot of coworkers I liked left my old job and then I left too (but not before asking for / getting a raise which I’m proud of myself for even if I did it right at the end bc it led to my coworkers getting raises too)

new job! I work at a college and it’s great! I have a work son aka the flamboyant 19 year old theatre kid disaster who I have taken under my wing, I like my supervisor a lot (just found out she might be leaving us but ahhh not thinking about that), I helped run an art project for a really big event in our department and it went well, and I’m just generally feeling good about the direction of my Career for the first time in a really long time!

midnights & loneliest time on the same day

we had a nice family thanksgiving and a nice family christmas even though I am increasingly nervous about the opinions that some of my family members hold (I had a PAID WINTER BREAK)

the hazers absolutely bombed and made me regret being so emotionally invested in marbles (but also pinkies redemption)

actually muna gets their own bullet point because the take me away video still haunts me. between the singles and self titled album and concert and stupid jokes they brought me so so much joy this year. hashtag greatest band in the world

we filed ingrid’s immigration papers!!!!! now we just have to wait until like mid 2024 and maybe she’ll get her green card

saved it for last bc I’m excited: I started plotting a book! like a for real, I am gonna try to actually write and publish it, book. it’s a retelling of cinderella which I do believe was always my fate (the only other book I’ve ever seriously tried to write past the age of like 10 was also tangentially about cinderella) and I really love the idea and I’m really nervous but excited to write it. it’s gonna have friendship and queer joy and socialism and aspec wlw romance and crafting and language learning and florida inspired nature! been doing a lot of research and planning and going into the woods to take pictures of trees. it’s been fun and I really hope to write a lot of my first draft this year!

anyway I had a really good year overall when I stop and think about it, even if I spent a lot of it stressed or dying in the heat or worried about money. I am hoping for a fulfilling, relaxing, joyous 2023 full of friends and nature and a nice home and creative projects. and I wish the same to everyone <3

[creamdemonsworld]

8/1/2024

Hi Tumblr, here's what happened today.

Today is Thursday which is my Sunday because I take Wed-Thurs off. I tried my best to fix my sleep schedule last night and woke up at 10am! which is better than 1pm. I notice that when I wake up earlier I feel more refreshed and less foggy. So tonight we're shooting for 9am wake up time.

I did not eat breakfast because I needed groceries so I lazed around until I had therapy. I showered, got ready, and had a very productive therapy session. I love my therapist she's amazing. I've been going to therapy since early childhood and with my current therapist I feel like I'm actually getting things done with my trauma. I talked about how I suddenly feel safe in my new home because of an accident.

The accident: Every night I make sure to lock all my windows and doors to my house - including my bedroom door - before yesterday I never even dared to sleep with the window open. But yesterday I went to go open the huge window on the front of my house, unlocked it, realized it was locked. And then came to the conclusion that my window had been unlocked ever since I moved in here. A happy accident! Because nothing bad has happened since my window was unlocked. Which in my mind means that I am safe!

To celebrate my conquered fear, I slept with my window open and my bedroom door unlocked. I slept so good with my nice cool room. I has been so stuffy these past couple weeks. But yay!

There was more stuff that I talked about with my therapist but it's just housekeeping stuff like my relationships and my art. She really wants to heal my relationship with art. I do too.

After therapy I went to the grocery store for my weeks worth of groceries. $98 later I put it all away and my cold brew kicked in so I deep cleaned my kitchen.

My kitchen/living area has been a total mess from moving. I moved into a much smaller place so I've been slowly chipping away at this huge pile of stuff I no longer have space for in the kitchen. Today I made a HUGE dent. I was brave and threw a ton of boxes in the recycling, and even put three boxes by the door to eventually put on the sidewalk.

I then called my girlfriend and had a lengthy talk with her. We're poly and she has a fiancé. I came from being strictly mono to being wither her so this is all new to me. I told her that if she wants two life partners she needs to treat me like a life partner. And we decided to start things over with no expectations just to see where things go. It was a really satisfying conversation honestly. I do wish she could come see me more but if that doesn't end up happening I'm just gonna end it by the end of the year. I can't handle being with someone who has the resources to come visit but still doesn't.

After my conversation with gf I clipped my cat's nails. He is such a good boy. He just complains about being wrapped in a towel but never bites or scratches. He got lots of treats.

The rest of my day was relaxing, I vegged out in bed for a minute and then decided to try and paint something after 3 years of not creating. I need to start it over but I'm not mad at myself like I usually am. I really hope the therapy is helping heal my relationship with art. I crave creation so badly but my brain has so many triggers around it so it's a very hard thing for me to do.

Anyway, it's time for bed. My work week starts tomorrow and I have rent damage I need to make up. Goodnight Tumblr!

[imm-tell-it-like-it-is]

Blog #3 Body Count

I was just watching YouTube today and somehow ended up watching an episode of this podcast called Grilling, hosted by Chian. It's an interview-type podcast, I guess, where Chian goes on a "date" with the interviewee. At least, that's what I think. I don't know, the shit is like an hour long and I don't have the attention span to watch all of it. Anyway, this time she had the infamous Top G, Mr. Andrew Tate. It's an old episode and I'm sure it's old news now, with Andrew Tate apparently about to get murdered by the matrix (if you watch his videos, you know what I'm talking about).

So during the episode, Chian and Tate got into a "debate" about high value men and women and whether men and women are different. I'm not going to talk about what a "high value" person is. That depends on your definition and what works for you. But what they agreed on was that men and women are inherently different. I actually agree with that. Actually, if you take it to a broader sense, I'd say everyone is different. There's only one Andrew Tate and only one Chian, just like there's only one of me and one of you. But yes, in a sense, I do agree that men and women are different.

So the conversation went on to the idea that if that's the case, then what men feel is important is different from what women feel is important, because we are inherently different. Again, solid point. I agree. Then Chian asked the question, "Would you date me if my body count was over 50?" Andrew kind of pulled back and went off on the stuff that makes Andrew Tate, Andrew Tate. Basically, to generalize Tate's points, he said men want women with low or no body count, which I guess is cool. And Chian's case was that women should be able to have as much sex as men, again, cool I guess.

So that got me thinking: Does body count really matter? Well, here's my take on it: no, it doesn't matter, BUT (and there's a big but), you have to be able to accept both the pros and cons of having a large body count, and vice versa. Right? Because everything has pros and cons.

So here's how I'm looking at it: let's say you have a girl with a body count of 50, and she's dating a guy with a body count of 10. Just play this one scenario so you can see kind of what the vibe is of what I'm thinking. So one way that scenario can go is that they both don't care and they can now use their experience and grow together, maybe bringing about a truly intimate relationship because they were both open and secure enough to expose their likes and dislikes, they get to experiment to see what works and what doesn't. Seems like a good situation, right? But if you agree that something like this is possible, then you have to agree that the opposite is possible. Maybe the guy might feel insecure - is my stroke game good enough? Is my dick big enough? Etc. And the same goes for the girl if the situation was reversed. The girl could also feel insecure about their partner's body count - maybe she feels insecure on a physical level, like does he like my boobs or my hair color? Or on an emotional level - does he love me as much as his ex? It really goes both ways.

So, if that's the case, does body count really matter? The question really is, when you ask that question, are you secure with yourself to hear the answer no matter how high or low that number is? And to the person answering the question, are you secure enough to tell the real answer? I would much rather you be truthful to yourself and to each other, because if something like a body count is something you can't handle, maybe you need to really look at yourself and the relationship to see if you're really in it for the reason you say you are. But what do I know? I'm just a random sucker who just wants to spew my own garbage onto the world. LOL."

[reidgraygubler]

just my type (spencer reid/reader)

Title: just my type 

Request: kinda, not really

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: SEXUAL CONTENT (daddy kink, loss of virginity (reader), praise, fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, after sex cockwarming, groping, heavy petting, tipsy sex, innocence kink, hair pulling, crying during sex (but the VERY end)), dom!Spencer, sub!Reader, Professor!Reid, age gap, aftercare, swearing, drinking, making out in public places, incredibly brief mention of necrophilia, mentions of absent father, ooc!spencer, professor/student, brief mention of drinks being drugged (not actually happening)

Word Count: 8,194 

Summary: Reader sleeps with a man she met at the bar. The next day she finds out that man was her new professor, Spencer Reid...

A/N: this was writing for pom’s discord server fic swap! My partner doesn’t have tumblr, but their wattpad is babyleaf1! I took a few of her favorite tropes and prompts she likes and came up with this! It’s loosely based off the song campus by vampire weekend. Spencer and reader’s ages are undefined, but there is a gap between the two.  thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

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Going to the bar wasn’t exactly my scene. Sure, it was nice to kick back and have a drink after a long day. I’d rather be at home with a glass of wine and watching a movie. But when a friend I haven’t seen in a long time asks to go to the bar, I’m gonna go to the bar with her. 

My eyes scanned the crowded room, searching for my friend who was no doubt already drinking. The room was filled with drunk people. I didn’t expect so many people to be drinking on a Tuesday night… who am I to judge though? 

When I finally saw my friend, I rushed to her. She was sitting at the bar with a drink already in hand. I wondered how many drinks she had before I arrived.

The moment I appeared by her side, she let out an excited squeal before throwing her arms around my body.

“It’s so nice seeing you!” she squealed into my ears. I laughed as I carefully pushed her off my body, and tried to regain some personal space. “It’s been so long!” 

“Yeah, yeah. Been busy. School and stuff starts this week.” I nervously laughed as I sat down on the stool beside her. She leaned over the bar as she called for the bartender. 

“That’s right! School!” she exclaimed as she looked back at me. I looked away from the bartender and at my friend. “That’ll be fun!” she added, trying to sound excited, but epically failing. 

“I sure hope it’ll be fun…. But it’s hard to say. You know, college,” I chuckled and looked down at the counter. The bartender placed the two drinks on the counter, pushing them towards us. My eyes widened once I saw the brightness of the drink. The brightness of the liquid was unnatural. So of course I was going to drink it. What’s the worst that could happen?

A couple hours had passed and the conversations between us seemed to flow fluidly. I was thanking God that that was the case because I don’t think I could do awkward drinks. I like to think I was concentrating on her and her words pretty well.

And then he happened.

A man walked up to the bar and looked right at the bartender. He held up one finger as he sat down behind my friend. He had an exhausted look in his eyes, which were hidden behind shaggy brown hair. Suddenly my concentration was out the window and I couldn’t take my eyes off the man. My friend definitely noticed too, but thankfully she didn’t comment on it. 

Then he looked over at me, and I was met with honeyed hazel eyes. They were more intoxicating than my drink. A small smile grew on his lips when he realized he captured the attention from someone. 

I just assumed he would have gotten his drink and returned to wherever he was sitting. But I was so wrong. Maybe the bar counter was where he was sitting and he just got here...

“So… What’s your type?” my friend asked, looking over at me with a small smile on her lips. I struggled to look away from the attractive man sitting just behind her. It was a relief when his gaze dropped from mine when my friend asked the question. But a small smirk grew on his lips as he, and my friend, waited for my answer.

“I… I, uh,” I finally looked away from him and down at my drink. The two black stir straws leaned against the glass, and I realized that I should probably stop drinking soon. My face grew really hot, and I couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol I had consumed, or the thought of telling my friend my type in men I’m interested in, or even worse… That the type of guy I’m interested in standing right behind her…

“C’mon, can’t be that bad… Unless you’re like… A necrophiliac,” she laughed as she leaned closer to my body. I moved away from her before looking back at the man behind her. He was looking back at me, an amused smile on his lips. “Well,” she asked, slipping closer to me. I locked eyes on the man before licking my lips lightly.

“Older…” I made sure to be loud enough that I knew he would hear. I watched as he choked on his drink before looking over at me. 

“Ooo! Girl,” my friend exclaimed as she moved closer to me, “How scandalous,” she whispered as she wrapped an arm around me, “How old are we talking?” she looked up at me. Her eyes were glossy, and I knew there was no winning this one. 

“Is this really a conversation we… we should be having?” I asked, my voice shaky as I spoke. She looked at me with wide eyes.

“We talkin’ old enough to be ya daddy… if ya know what I mean,” she mused as she began falling into my body. The man behind her looked over at me, his smile telling me he was clearly listening in to our conversation. And he obviously enjoyed what was happening in front of him. 

“Ye-No!” I cut myself off with a shout, “No! Not at all!” I continued, backing away from her body. I couldn’t tell if I was being serious or not, and something was telling me my friend and the man didn’t believe me either. “Wh-why are you suddenly…” I let my words trail off as my train of thought suddenly vanished.

“Because… You’re young, you’re single… And you’re… you know…” this time it was her words trailing off. I looked at her with wide eyes, my face getting hot again. “A virgin,” she said in a normal tone, even though I think she thought she was whispering. The man behind her choked on his drink again before slowly turning to face me and my friend.

“Will you shut up?” I whispered as I tore my eyes off the man and looked down at my friend. She sat back in her seat as she looked at me with a smile.  

“OH!” she shouted as she looked down at her drink. She slammed the rest of it in one go before standing up, “I have to pee! Stay here! If I’m not back in 10 minutes, assume I went off with that hot guy.” She slipped off her chair before pointing somewhere in the bar. I looked over my shoulder and at a group of guys who were closer to our age than the guy behind her.

“O-okay,” my words stumbled as I carefully pushed her body off mine. I held back my chuckle as she stumbled away from me and towards the bathroom. 

I turned back to the counter, my head dropping so I was looking at my drink. My fingers fiddled with the straws as I waited for my friend to return. The bright blue liquid sitting with ice wasn’t as good as it looked. Which was very unfortunate because I’ve had maybe two of them… Working on my third...

“Your friend… She’s rather excitable,” someone spoke from beside me. The seat my friend was once sitting in was now occupied by the man who sat beside her. I perked up and looked away from my drink. He was hunched over the bar, holding a small glass with an amber liquid. 

I didn’t realize I was staring at him till he cleared his throat and looked back at me. I jumped, looking down at the bar. I didn’t exactly know how to respond to him, words not coming from my mouth properly as I struggled to speak. So, I shrugged and stared at him.

“Y-yeah, yeah she’s like that… Especially when she’s drunk… She doesn’t know how to hold her booze,” I laughed as I lifted my drink to my lips. I searched for the two mixer straws with my mouth, closing my eyes before taking a sip. “Y-you didn’t hear anything she said,” I asked, my words slurring slightly from nervousness, "Did you?" I added as I leaned on the counter. The man looked at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“Uh, erm,” he looked back down at his drink, not directly answering my question. I sighed deeply as I planted my face into my hand, leaning against the bar. 

“She was being really loud,” I laughed as slowly slipped off my stool and into his body, “Oh, sorry.” I looked up at him as I held onto his arm, “I think I should stop drinking,” I laughed as I recollected myself and moved away from the stranger’s body. 

“It’s okay.” The man looked at me, helping me get back on my seat, “I’m going to get you water.” He looked between me and the bartender. 

“Listen, listen, yeah, whatever, like so what, I’m still a virgin… I just have my bar set way too high for men,” I started as I turned to face him, “I should lower that bar and my standards,” I mumbled as I leaned against the counter. The man looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. Why did I think my friend would be embarrassing to me when I can just do it myself?

“Definitely getting you water,” he laughed. After a moment of silence, the bartender placed two glasses of water on the counter in front of me and the stranger. The man looked over at me before pushing the glass closer to me. “Drink it, you’ll feel better,”  

“Is it safe, right? Like…” I let my words trail off, hoping he’d clue into my worries. He looked at me with raised brows, like what I had said was absurd that I would even suggest something like that.

“It’s safe… just water and ice,” he returned, his tone telling me he was mildly offended that I'd think he drugged water. But to be fair, he's a random stranger in the bar, talking to a girl who's had a few drinks.

“Thanks,” I muttered before lifting the glass to my lips. The icy coolness of the water hit my lips and tongue and I already felt a million times better. I couldn’t help but let out a pleased hum. 

“Spencer... by the way,” the man finally introduced himself to me. I swallowed roughly as I looked up at him. My eyebrows knit together as I stared at him, my words tumbling from my mouth as I introduced myself.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, looking around the semi-filled room of drunken adults. 

“After work drinks,” he spoke softly. He didn’t sound too enthused by after work drinks. Part of me wondered why that was… Maybe all his friends ditched him too. 

“Sounds boring,” I laughed as I looked back at him, “My friend wanted to get drinks… But she wanted to catch up and to… Well, just drink,” I sighed as I leaned my entire body against the counter, “As you can see, she ditched me… Like always,” I scoffed before looking over at where my friend actually was. She was standing beside the cute guy, leaning close to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d be gone with him the next time I looked over at her. 

“Maybe it’s your turn to leave her at the bar.” Spencer watched as I lifted the glass of water back to my mouth. I nearly spat water all over the place with his words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked as I moved my chair closer to him. He seemed content with where I was sitting, and how close I was to him. To be honest, I wished I could be closer to him. 

“Could mean anything you wanted it to mean,” he replied with a shrug. I stared at him for a moment, slowly leaning closer to him, but not getting too close. 

“You’re right.” I smiled as I stared at him. He looked away from his drink and nodded. “Like going home before her to go to bed early.” I laughed. Spencer returned the laughter and shook his head. 

“If that’s what you want it to mean,” he smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

“Nah, I don’t think I wanna go home yet,” I sighed, resting my head on my fist, and my elbow on the bar counter. We both stayed quiet for a moment, letting the silence carry our “conversation”.

“So… Older men…?” Spencer asked after the long silence. He looked down at me with a smug smile. I froze in my seat, my eyes on the glass of, now, ice in front of me. 

“You did hear that conversation,” I lazily laughed as I looked up at him. I couldn’t help but nibble lightly on my lower lip as I looked at him. “Nah…” I looked up at him, feeling a small smile grow on my lips. Spencer looked down at me with a raised eyebrow and a sly smirk. “Maybe… Possibly… Definitely older men…” My head fell back in laughter. Spencer kept his eyes on me and his smile grew more amused than smug. 

Spencer definitely met my standards in men. He seemed to be older than me, I wasn’t exactly willing to question that though. There was a certain… gentlemanly-ness to him that I infinitely enjoyed. He was definitely not like any other guy I’ve talked to. And he 100% wasn’t some 20-something-year-old guy who claims he has all the experience in the world but doesn’t. Spencer seemed very experienced, in what? Well, everything I guess. I could just sense it by the way he talked to me and the way he held himself.

“My last boyfriend was 10 years older than me, and the one before that was 7 years older…” I paused, staring at him. I wondered what he was thinking, and if he was thinking what everyone thinks… ‘This girl has totally got daddy issues.’ “I don’t have daddy issues,” I rolled my eyes as I gravitated closer to his body. I looked up at Spencer, my hand falling to rest on his thigh as I moved closer to him. His body tensed slightly at my touch. I felt a little bad at first, but when I went to move my hand, he stopped me. His hand reaching out to grab my wrist.

“Even if you did, I don’t think that would influence your taste in men.” He looked down at me. It was then did I realize just how close our faces were to each other. 

“That’s good to hear because most people just automatically assume that I have daddy issues,” I murmured as I looked between his lips and eyes, “Although… It’s just a lie… I tell myself that because people always say women with daddy issues are sluts… But I’m not…” I whispered as I slowly moved closer to him.

“I didn’t think that,” Spencer furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head, “And I’ve known you for all of 45 minutes,” he laughed as he removed his hand from my wrist.

“Good,” I laughed lightly. “Can I kiss you?” my voice was a murmur as I looked into his eyes. Spencer licked his lips before parting them slightly. He didn’t seem too shocked or taken aback by my proposition. But when he spoke he was a little… nervous.

“If… If that’s what you want,” he whispered as he looked at me. I took a deep breath, my hand resting on his leg shifting a bit as I moved closer to him. Spencer took a shaky breath as I looked up at him.

“Do you want it?” 

“I… I’d be lying if I said no, but I don’t want to take advantage of a woman under the influence,” 

“It’s what I want,” I leaned even closer, not even an inch between us. I could feel his breath through my nose, that’s how close we are. “And I’m not under the influence,” I spoke, losing my confidence with each word. It was also an obvious lie too. We both knew how many drinks I had. “I’ve had two glasses of water and a handful of bar nuts, and it’s been like an hour since my last drink. I’m okay,” I whispered as I leaned totally on him. 

Spencer looked down at me, his face still as his eyes examined my face. He slowly brought a hand up to my face, resting it gently under my chin. I smiled, feeling my face heat up again. When he squinted his eyes, I felt my heart rate spike. 

“Please,” I begged. The bar and world around me simply vanished as I became so involved with Spencer and everything about him. In that moment, I was obsessed with him. “Kiss me,”

Spencer let out a soft breath of air from his lips before pressing them to mine. If the cool water didn’t sober me up, this kiss sure did. But at the same time, it was so intoxicating. Sure I’ve kissed men before, but this time it was… Different. Something else was going to happen tonight, with Spencer. But I couldn’t exactly place what it was that was going to happen.

My free hand lifted from its place beside me and went to his head, my fingers getting tangled in his hair. My other hand stayed put on his thigh, my grip slowly hardening on his leg. I tried to be quiet as a moan came from me, but I obviously failed. Spencer moaned right back into my mouth. I suppose I was happy he didn’t have an issue with our volume. Thank God the music was loud enough to drown us out.

When I pulled away from him, I nearly fell into the bar. Thankfully Spencer looked at me, his hand going to my hip to keep me from crashing into the counter. I looked up at him, taking a deep breath to get my head clear. But it was hard when I went back to him, my arms wrapping around his neck as my lips crashed back into his. 

Spencer’s hands moved quickly over my back, resting on my hips, lower back. Anywhere he could reach, he would touch. He turned more to face me, allowing me to stand between his legs. 

“We… We should stop… Before one of us does something we’ll… We’ll regret,” he whispered softly. Spencer pressed his forehead to mine as he spoke. I took a deep breath, my chest rising and falling quickly. 

“No… No, we shouldn’t.” I looked up at him, my hands getting knotted up in his hair again. Spencer looked at me, a certain softness on his face. “I think… You… You meet my standards, Spencer.” I blinked at him. 

Spencer quickly looked over at the bartender before fumbling for his wallet. I looked at him, watching him pull out more money than needed and shoving it in the bartender’s hands. He looked back at me, wrapping an arm around my waist and guiding me out. I smiled as Spencer dragged me out of the bar. 

For the first time ever, I was leaving the bar before my friend… And I didn’t care about her. 

Spencer looked back at me as we stepped outside and the semi-cool air of the night felt really good against my hot skin. Inside I almost couldn’t breathe, but outside it felt like it just came to me. It was so… refreshing.

I didn’t realize Spencer had called a taxi till he was pulling me to the vehicle. I looked up at him, blinking slowly as he pulled the car door open. Swallowing down the sudden excitement and fear mixture, I slid into the taxi before him.

 I wasn’t scared because I was having sex for the first time. No, I was scared that I was going home with a strange man. Anything could happen, honestly. What if he was a murderer? 

“Where to?” The taxi driver looked up in the rearview mirror at me and Spencer. I was the quickest to talk, giving him my address before Spencer could give his. 

Spencer glanced at me, watching as I nervously played with the hem of my dress. When I glanced at him, I noticed that he was turned to face me more, whereas I was still, facing the seat in front of me.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low and soft. I moved my head a little too fast as I looked at him. 

“Mm, yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’ve never done something like this before, that’s all,” I whispered, looking at him as I bit my lower lip. Spencer nodded as he looked at me, watching as I shifted closer to him. 

“We don’t… We don’t have to…” Spencer started but stopped when I maneuvered to straddle his legs. He looked up at me as he carefully rested his hands on my hips. I swallowed roughly as I looked down at him. My hands pressed to his chest to hold myself upright, and my head occasionally hitting the roof of the taxi with every bump we went over.

“I know... I know we don’t have to do anything…” My heart slamming in my chest as I stared at him. I moved my hands from his chest to gently cup his face. His cheeks were stubbly, prickling at the palms of my hands as I held his face. With one final deep breath of air, I pressed my lips to his, this time a lot more passionately than before. 

Spencer pressed his lips down my face, and neck while his hands roamed my body. My hands stayed planted on his face, keeping me in place over his body. I was so into him just… touching me that I didn’t even realize his hand had slipped in the front of my dress. His fingers gently stroking the skin on my inner thigh.

My head fell to the side as he pressed his lips down my neck more before going towards my chest. A huff of air came from my lungs as I pushed my hands through his hair. 

“Uh… We’re, uh… at your destination…” The poor taxi driver spoke from his spot in the front. I moved Spencer’s head away from my body and I looked down at him. 

“You… you pay him.” I stared down at him, feeling a certain embarrassment grow in my stomach, and across my face. Spencer quickly fumbled for his wallet before pulling out more money than necessary and tossing it to the driver. After he shoved his wallet back into his pocket, he wrapped his arms around my waist before exiting the taxi. A squeal came from my mouth as he carried me out of the vehicle and towards my complex. 

“Spencer!” I screamed as my arms wrapped around his neck. A dizzying feeling took me over as a hard bulge pressed between my legs. I almost couldn’t hold back a moan.

 He laughed before putting his lips back on my neck, nipping lightly on the sensitive skin. And I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan, almost a whimper. 

“Keys,” Spencer muttered into my neck. I took a deep breath, my chest pressing into his body more. 

“Unlocked,” I gasped as he nipped my neck again. He hummed as he opened the door and entered my home. He put my back down once we were inside, door shut and locked. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall towards my bedroom.

Spencer pushed the door shut and pressed me against it, pressing his lips to mine like I was the last woman on earth. His arms were propped up on either side of my head, blocking me between the door and his body. It’s a good thing I didn’t feel trapped because I otherwise wouldn’t have allowed that to happen.

My breathing picked up when he pressed his hips against me. A pit grew in my stomach, and I couldn’t tell if it was actually anxiety or excitement. I was willing to bet it was both. 

As the anxiety slowly melted away, a new feeling took over. A feeling of want and hunger. It was the type of feeling that could be satisfied by another person, or by my own doing. But, I knew I wanted it from Spencer. I needed it from Spencer. 

“I need to feel something,” I whimpered against his lips as he pinned me against the door, “Please, I need to feel you.” My leg wrapping around his waist to pull him closer to me. I almost couldn’t breathe, my excitement getting the better of me. 

Spencer looked down at me, a hand slowly coming up to my face, resting gently on my cheek. My eyes blinked slowly as he examined my face. I wondered what he was thinking, and if they were good thoughts. I only wondered what he thought because of how he looked at me. His features were soft and gentle like he was a child holding a fluffy, white dandelion. But the way his eyes moved across my face… They were hungry. Unlike his soft facial features, his eyes wanted to destroy everything in sight… 

And I liked it. It should have scared me, right? A man looking at me like he was about to destroy my life… But the way he did it… I liked...

While he kept one hand on my face, his other hand was high on my upper thigh. His thumb carefully moving back and forth on the soft skin. I wonder if he knew how desperate I was beginning to feel. And he only fueled my desperation the further up his hand traveled.  

A sharp gasp fell from my mouth as his hand finally moved against my underwear. His fingers were gentle as they ghosted over me. I wondered if he could feel how aroused I was through my underwear. Probably, it was impossible to hide that…

The way his hands touched me and held me was weird. He was still gentle, but there was a certain hastiness to it that I noticed. Like he was trying to claim something that wasn’t his. 

“Please,” I whimpered as he trailed kisses down my neck. My chest began heaving as he began tracing his finger over my underwear. Okay, now he had to know how desperate I was. Spencer groaned once he pressed his lips back to mine. 

“You’re so wet, Princess,” he whispered as his hand on my face fell to my chin. Another gasp came from me at the pet name. He took the opportunity to pull on my lower lip with his teeth. “I’ve hardly done anything,” he moved his head away from me and smiled, “Hardly touched you at all.” 

I looked up at him, my lower lip pouted out slightly. It was hard to say what his next action was, but I heavily anticipated it. He smiled softly as his thumb pulled down my lower lip. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I yelped when he pushed my underwear to the side, and carefully slipped a finger between my folds. 

Spencer looked down at me with a pleased smile. It was clear to me that he enjoyed my struggle. I placed my hands on his arms to keep myself up. And even though my body was pressed against the door, and I braced myself against him, my knees still wanted to give out.

I’ve never had another person touch me like this before. My previous relationships didn’t last long enough for them to do something like this. And, I’ve never exactly had this feeling before. Well, let me rephrase that, I have felt this feeling before. I’ve never felt this way from another person. I’ve masturbated before, after all I’m lonely, not Catholic. But, the feeling happening because someone else is causing it. 

“Do you like it when I touch you like this?” Spencer whispered as he slowly pressed a finger into me. I looked up at him and nodded as I pressed my lips together. “Use your words,” 

“Yes, it feels so good… s’good, Daddy,” I whimpered as I looked at him. I swear I saw the corner of his lips twitched slightly. Did my title for him do to him what it did to me? It was obvious he liked it. 

Spencer stared at me for a moment before harshly pressing his lips back to mine. It felt as if he was taking the breath right from my lungs with everything he was doing. His hand between my legs moved a little faster, my hips grinding down on him in reaction.

“Say it again,” he murmured against my lips. The way he moved his face caused our noses to squish together. My heart was slamming in my chest and I could hear it in my head. It felt like at any moment it’d break out of me. 

I softly yelped when he carefully inserted a second finger in me. His pace quickened slightly and I couldn’t concentrate on anything.  

A tension grew in the pit of my belly, and slowly grew as the seconds ticked by. I wasn’t sure how long I’d make it till the tension cracked. I wondered if Spencer sensed that too.

 I removed my hands from his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck to hold him closer to me. It was so hard to hold back the soft whimpers and moans I was feeling getting trapped in my throat. Although, Spencer seemed to enjoy my struggle.

It became more of a struggle the stronger the tension grew. It was close too. 

“Say it again.”

“I’m s’close, Daddy,” I whined, my head involuntarily falling to my shoulder. Spencer looked down at me before moving to press his lips to my neck. His lips attaching to the base of my throat before sucking gently on the sensitive skin. 

Again my body reacted by trying to get closer to him. The closer I got to him, the faster he went. I could tell that he was trying to bring me closer to the edge, to finish the moment. 

“Let go, it’s okay,” Spencer whispered. I swallowed roughly, my head falling forward onto his shoulder before my body slowly fell into his. It was hard not to stay quiet, my sounds getting louder as I finally finished. 

I stayed against his body, trying to recollect my breathing for a moment. Spencer rested a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles on my shoulder. And after I had my moment, I stood back up, leaning against the door behind me.

Spencer looked back at me as he pulled his hand out from my underwear. He looked down at his hand, more specifically the two fingers he just had in me. I nearly lost my balance again when he put those exact fingers in his mouth. And it didn’t help at all when he moaned. 

“You did so good, Princess.” He looked at me with a soft smile. Part of me was worried that was all we were going to do. Sure it was nice, but that was that the end of it? 

He cupped my face again before pressing his lips back to mine. His arms were wrapped around my body before he led me towards my bed. But I didn’t realize we were going to my bed till the edge of it hit the back of my knees.

A breath of air was knocked from my lungs the second my back collided with my bed. I looked up at Spencer, watching as he fought to take his jacket off. But when he finally did get it off, he was back over my body, his lips on mine while his hands roamed my body. My fingers quickly unbuttoned his shirt, and his hands were pushing up my dress. His touch was like wildfire across my body, and it felt near impossible to breathe.

“Please, Spencer,” I whimpered as his lips reattached to my neck. My eyes fluttered shut as he gently sucked a spot on the base of my neck. His hands pushed the top of my dress down, making it sit around my hips.

"Tell me what you want, Princess," he spoke against my skin.

"You… I just need you…" 

It was really… strange. I had just met him not more than 2 hours ago… and I couldn't get enough of him. Even though I knew this would be the only time I'd ever see him, I never wanted the moment to end. I needed him more than I needed air, it felt like. I needed the night to last as long as possible.

Spencer looked down at me for a moment before getting off the bed. I had to hold back my laughter as he struggled to take his pants off. And after throwing his shirt to the ground, he was back over me, his body between my legs. My chest tightened, and at the same time, my heart sped. 

I tried not looking further than his neck. But it was so hard. Did I want to see what he looked like before anything happened? Or would it make me want to back out? 

I shouldn’t look...

“Will it hurt?” I brought my eyes to look up at him. I wasn’t exactly scared. I was more worried about it hurting than anything else, I think. I wanted this.

“Maybe for a moment, but not too long,” he whispered as he brushed his thumb over my cheekbone, “If it hurts too much we can stop… But you have to tell me,” he spoke so softly. 

“I can do that,” I whispered, keeping his eyes on him. My arms wrapped around his neck as he pressed a soft, yet passionate kiss to my lips. His hips slowly started to lower towards my sex. That was when my breathing picked up, and my chest heaved slightly.

“It’s okay, you’re doing such a great job,” he whispered against my lips, “I got you.”

A soft wince came from my mouth when he carefully entered me. My fingers knotted in his hair, gently tugging it as he slowly kept going. I struggled to take a deep breath. My head fell back and my lips opened.

“Spencer,” I whined, finally allowing air to enter my lungs, “You’re so big,” I moaned as I pressed my head into my pillow. One of my arms fell from his body and landed on the bedding beside me. My hand gripped the bedding. 

“You’re doing a great job, Princess,” Spencer whispered as he grasped my hand and held it. I looked up at him and nodded lightly. “You’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” I whispered and stared at him. After a moment, he carefully moved his hips, and soon after fell into a steady rhythm. 

“Please… Please don’t stop doing what you’re doing,” I gasped. I slowly ran my hands up his chest to his shoulders before wrapping my arms around his neck. Spencer looked down at me, his eyes half-closed as he stared. “It feels so good,” I whimpered as he started to slowly move his hips. 

My legs tensed for a moment when he bottomed out in me, and I could feel the wind being knocked out of me. Spencer looked down at me as he brought a hand to rest on my cheek.

Spencer grabbed my hand and moved it to rest against my belly. An unfamiliar bump hit my hand through my stomach and caused me to gasp and look up at him. Spencer smiled and nodded lightly.

“Do you feel how deep I am?” he whispered softly.

“You… You’re…” I took a deep breath as I stared at him. He pressed his lips back to mine. His movements hastened and he pulled his hand away from mine, moving it between us and to where our bodies met. A small whimper fell from my mouth, again, as he began rubbing a finger on the already sensitive bundle of nerves. “Daddy,” I whined as his hips quickened for a moment before faltering.

I cried out as an unfamiliar warmth spread throughout my body. Spencer moaned into my ear. My legs were wrapped around him, clinging to him as he rode out our highs together. And, as I came, I couldn’t help but moan out his name.

My chest was heaving as my breathing tried to catch up with the extreme movements I was just doing. I couldn’t move my legs off him. I wasn’t ready for him to leave me just yet.

“Don’t move…” I gasped, looking up at him, “Please, Daddy… stay inside me…” I cried as he began moving away from me. My hands gripped his arms, holding him above me. Spencer looked down at me, his eyes glued to the way I squirmed beneath him. There was such an intense gaze in his eyes as he looked at me, I wasn’t sure what to do. 

He lifted his hands and rested them on my cheeks. The way he held himself over me without actually crushing me was impressive. What was even more impressive was how he carefully pressed his hips back to mine.  

“It’s okay, I got you,” he whispered, brushing the apple of my cheek with his thumb. I stared at him, my chest quickly rising, only to fall just as fast. It felt hard to breathe, my body still feeling full with him. “You did such a good job, Princess,” he pressed his forehead to mine.

I didn’t even realize I was crying till Spencer’s thumb moved across my cheekbone. I looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Spencer whispered as he kept his eyes on my face.

“I’m good. I’m okay. I promise.” I wrinkled my nose and nodded. Spencer smiled softly and returned the nod. “I’m-I don’t know why I’m crying,” I laughed lightly before sniffling my nose, “I’m sorry.”

“Sex can be an emotional thing for some people. And since this was your first time, it was an emotional experience. You’re okay. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Spencer reassured. I stared at him and nodded, agreeing with what he said. “I’m going to get you water and a wipe or something.”

“Uhm… Yeah that’s okay… I guess. Bathroom is over there. I should have a cup in there. And there should be paper towels too.” I nodded as I gestured towards the bathroom. Spencer pecked my lips one last time before pulling away from me and leaving the bed.

‘It’s just a one-night stand,’ I kept telling myself just so I wouldn’t forget what this really was. And, in the morning, I’d never see him again.

{***}{***}{***}

My body jerked slightly when I woke up. An arm was wrapped around my middle, and the body that was connected to the arm was close to mine. Her head was resting on my chest, her ear right over my heart. She, and like my surroundings, were unfamiliar. 

“Crap,” I whispered, looking down at the girl and her sleeping form. She hummed as she nuzzled her head more into my chest. I pulled on my lower lips as I carefully pulled her arm off mine. I had to be quick as I slipped out of the bed.

Usually, I wasn’t the type to just sleep with someone and then leave them the next day. To have a one-night stand, if you will. If today wasn’t the sort of day it was, I’d stay with this girl till she woke. But I had to leave to get ready for a new semester at the college. 

I quickly grabbed my shirt and pants, throwing them on my body as I quietly and quickly left her apartment. My feet dragged quietly across the ground as I got closer to the front door. I pulled the door open at just the right time. Or maybe it was a bad time.

A young woman was standing with a carrier filled with coffee cups, her fist was lifted like she was about to knock. Our eyes locked before hers carefully looked down my body, lingering in spots that made me very aware. 

“Holy shit,” she stared at me with wide eyes, “She wasn’t joking when she said she likes older men,” she stated, the shock in her tone was so apparent that it left me in shock. It was her friend from last night.

“I-I’m sorry.” I looked at her with furrowed brows.

“You’re old enough to be her father,” she spoke before pushing past me. I turned as she entered the apartment. “She’s got balls of steel to fuck a guy like you,” she spoke as she set the carrier on the coffee table, “But, I’m happy she did… Hope her first time was good,” she chuckled before winking at me.

“I-I have to go,” I nodded before leaving. I pulled the door shut. I tried not to linger in front of her home for too long. She’d probably be awake soon, and I really didn’t want to stick behind. 

I kept my head low as I ventured on my walk of shame to the closest coffee shop. And then, from the coffee shop, I’d get a taxi to return home… To return to my home.

The second anyone finds out I had a one-night stand, I’m dead. I’m leaving. I could only hope it stayed between me and those two girls. 

{***}{***}{***}

I looked over at my coworker and nodded, only half paying attention to what they were saying. Which, in turn, made me feel bad. This morning is not my morning and there were only so many reasons why.

Then I looked across the grounds, looking at all the new and familiar faces returning for a new semester of classes. My eyes landed on a familiar girl walking beside a friend. She was laughing and smiling at whatever her friend said.

“Fuck,” I muttered as I stared at the girl. Then she looked up and saw me. An embarrassed look grew across her face as her gaze fell from mine. I kept my eyes on the girl across the campus for a moment longer, long enough to notice that the friend she was with had spilled coffee over her shirt.

“I have to go…” I grimaced as I looked at my colleague. They looked back at me before slowly nodded. I kept my head low as I walked back towards the building and towards my lecture hall. 

Thankfully I was the first and only person in the room. Enough time to prepare over everything. To free my mind of… of her and what we had done last night. But oh dear God, it was so hard. 

I thought I had a lot of time on my hands, seeing as the class didn’t start for 5 more minutes. I thought it was bad when I saw her across the campus. Then she entered my lecture hall, clearing her throat to get my attention. 

She introduced herself like I had no idea who I was. As if this was the first time we ever met. Maybe she forgot? But she definitely wasn’t drunk enough to forget. I wouldn’t have taken advantage of someone wasted as Luke or Derek would say. She was lucid, I know that much. Hell, she was able to give the taxi driver her address. 

“Spencer… Reid… Professor Reid is fine... Reid... Doctor Reid. I'll-I’ll answer to pretty much anything,” I rambled, feeling as if I couldn’t stop myself from talking. She looked at me with a knowing smile, and I wondered if she thought ‘Oh, I know you’ll answer to anything… Daddy,’ That’s probably a bad thing to think, right?

“Oh! It’s wonderful meeting you, Professor Reid,” she kept talking as if she didn’t know who I was. 

“Pleasure meeting… Meeting you too,” I paused with a forced smile at her, “Can’t wait to have you in my class.” I stared at her. The way she stared at me confirmed that she was pretending that she didn’t know me. I thanked God or whatever other Deity was out there that she was pretending. I don’t think I would have been able to survive if she acted like we knew each other. 

“Can’t wait to be in your class.” She nodded at me before going to the first seat in the front row. I stared at her for a prolonged moment, noting the way she crossed her legs at her ankle, and looked down at her notes. She held her pen between her thumb and forefinger, the end of it just barely between her lips. I couldn’t stop hating on myself for just leaving her this morning.

 Then I noticed she was staring back at me. She had a smug smile on her lips as she looked at me. It felt as if she was reading my mind as if she knew every thought that had passed my mind from the moment she entered my lecture hall.

‘Shit,’ I thought as the memories of last night forced themselves to the front of my head. All the things I said to her last night stood in the spotlight. The idiot part of me that said the stuff about impregnating her and how she kept calling me daddy stood out loud and clear. I broke this poor girl, and it was too late. And the worst part about it is… I’d do it again if I had the chance.

 My pants tightened and my face grew hot. How the fuck was I supposed to get through the day? Let alone this semester?! That’s the thing I wasn’t supposed to do. 

I was happy when the end of the class came. Everyone stayed in the room for a moment, bantering with each other for a moment before leaving.

I kept my eyes, and head, low as all the students filed out of the room. A few people stayed around to ask me their questions, or give me their comments. It was until the last standing student had exited the room did I realize someone was still at her desk. 

“Is there something-” ‘I can help you with,’

“Why’d you leave this morning?” she asked, standing up from her spot. I looked up and away from the paperwork I was “working” on. Swallowing down my own pride and unnecessary fears, I stood. My fingertips resting on top of my desk. “Woulda made you coffee… Breakfast even…” she whispered with a shrug. 

“Right…”

“You were hoping I was so drunk I forgot who you were, right? That’s what it is?” she asked, her eyebrows knitting together as she spoke. I watched as she stepped around her desk and approached my own. “I thought… I don’t know what it’s like the morning after… But if that’s what it is… Then I don’t want it,” she scoffed as she stared at me. I didn’t mean to hurt her as much as I did. But it was already too late, and the damage was done. 

“That’s not what it’s like. I promise,” I whispered as I looked at her. I wasn’t prepared to make up excuses and lies as to why I just left. But I also don’t think she’d believe my truth either. 

“Then why did you leave,” she ask-No, she begged. Begged me for the truth. 

“I-I, uh, I had to leave because of this. I needed to get ready for this class,” I tapped down on the hard surface of my desk. Her eyes dropped down to the desktop. I could see the range of emotions on her face as she looked at all the papers scattered on my desk. Maybe she would believe me. Again, I don’t think I would have been able to come up with a believable lie.

“You could have woken me up, still… I seriously would have made you coffee,” she muttered before shrugging, again. 

“Next time then,” I swallowed roughly as I stared at her. Her eyes shot up from the desk and landed right on my face. I could tell she was trying to keep her sudden excitement hidden. But I knew she was excited because of the way the corner of her lip twitched up slightly, and the way she shifted her stance, and the way her grip on her books changed, and all the other things I could list off but won’t.

“Next time?” It was obvious she struggled to keep her voice low.  

“I mean, never say never, right?” I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets. She looked at me with a smile as she hugged her books closer to her chest.

“Right… Never say never,” she whispered as she looked back down at the desk, “It was nice meeting you, Professor Reid,” she paused before looking up at me, a smug smile back on her lips, “And, it was nice seeing you again, Spencer,” she winked at me before walking out of my lecture hall. I swallowed roughly, staring at the space she once occupied. 

Fuck.

if you want to be a part of a taglst or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here

taglist: @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​  @thebluetint​ @muffin-cup​ @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ @spencersmagic​

[arrowflier]

Can you do jealous Mickey 😊

This is sort-of jealous, sort-of insecure. But I have a more traditional one here too!

---

“—and that’s why we tend to get prescriptions for those particular disorders,” their tour guide finished.

Mickey rolled his eyes. They weren’t here for a fucking science lesson, they were here to lock down a contract and get the fuck out. But when he turned to look at Ian, expecting his husband to look back with the same annoyed expression he was doing his best to hide on his own face, Ian didn’t even notice.

His eyes were too busy shining toward the nerdy man in the lab coat leading them through the dispensary.

“Damn, that’s pretty cool,” Ian said. He sounded like he really meant it, and Mickey grit his teeth rather than ruin the moment with some snarky comment.

“I used to be an EMT, you know,” Ian continued, leaning closer to their guide. “But they didn’t really teach us about this stuff.” He shrugged. “Guess it wasn’t really on their radar yet.”

“Oh, an EMT?” the guide asked with way too much interest. He eyed Ian over the top of his thick-rimmed glasses, tapping a hand nervously against his clipboard.

His empty fucking clipboard. Who the fuck carried a clipboard in a retail place like this, anyway?

“That’s so interesting,” the man went on. “What did you get your degree in?”

Mickey saw the way Ian hesitated at the question, and wanted to rip the man’s tongue out for making him uncomfortable. But Ian shrugged it off—”oh this and that,” he said—and they were off again, talking about things Mickey had no knowledge of or interest in beyond his occasional desire to abuse the product.

It continued for way too long, in his unbiased opinion. Until an alarm went off on Ian’s over-sized watch, interrupting whatever tangent the two of them had gotten off on, and Mickey’s husband finally realized that they had been there for far too long.

“Oh shit, sorry,” he said. “We were supposed to be out of your hair, like, twenty minutes ago or something.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble,” he was assured. “In fact, I’d like to—”

“No, no,” Ian insisted. “We’ve taken enough of your time, right Mickey?”

Ian turned to look at him, and Mickey attempted to smile and nod. But based on the way Ian’s happy expression fell when he saw him, he was pretty sure it had come out as more of a grimace.

“Take your time, man,” Mickey made himself grit out. “We’re done with pickups today.”

Ian frowned.

“I know,” he said slowly, “but we really need to—”

“Oh, great!” their guide interrupted, daring to place a hand on Ian’s bicep. “Because I’d love to chat some more. Maybe your business partner can come pick you up later?”

Fuck. Business partner? Who did this twerp think he was?

Thankfully, before Mickey could tear the guys head off with his bare fucking hands, Ian removed his arm from that tenacious grip.

“Thanks,” he muttered uneasily, “but I think my husband and I both need to go.”

The stress on the word husband was subtle, but Mickey could see it hit its mark. Their nerdy companion pulled back like he had been burned, adjusting his glasses with the hand that had just been gripping Ian like he was the last man on earth, and he backed away so quickly he almost tripped over his own steel-toed shoes.

Ian didn’t even look back as he got a hand on Mickey’s back, and pushed him unprotestingly toward the door.

“So I’ll call you about the contract?” the man called after them, but Ian just waved him off as the door closed behind them, focusing instead on steering Mickey toward their retro-fitted ambulance.

Mickey knew he was being unusually quiet as they got in and buckled up, but he kept staring out the windshield as Ian started the vehicle. Then Ian turned the key a second time, the engine falling silent under them, and Mickey finally met his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Ian asked. So simple, yet so full of worry. “I, uh,” he said, then huffed a nervous laugh. “Kind of surprised you didn’t punch that guy back there, honestly.”

Yeah, Mickey thought. That was fair. Any other day, any other guy, and they would have had Mickey’s wedding ring imprinted on their face before they even had a chance to realize where they went wrong in touching what was his.

He had never been very good at sharing. But…

“Don’t know, man,” he answered, and ignored the furrow of Ian’s brow.

“Hey,” Ian said. “Don’t lie to me, Mick.”

He leaned over the center, into Mickey’s space, and laid a firm hand on Mickey’s cheek.

“We don’t lie to each other, remember?”

Fuck. Of course Mickey remembered.

“I don’t know, though,” he repeated, and this time it sounded like a confession. “Just…kind of seemed like you might’ve been into it, I guess.”

Ian’s jaw actually dropped at that, and Mickey might have laughed if it didn’t feel like his heart was about to beat it’s way out of his chest.

“Why would you…,” Ian started, then snapped his mouth shut.

“Not the physical stuff,” Mickey hurried to reassure him, knowing that Ian’s brain was probably running circles around everything he had done inside, every possible way he could have misstepped to make Mickey think that he welcomed someone else’s advanced.

“I know you’re not interested like that,” Mickey said, then bit his lip.

“But?” Ian pressed, knowing that something else was coming.

“But you were talkin’ ‘bout stuff I don’t even understand, man,” Mickey finally revealed. “And you were practically fuckin’ beaming gettin’ to have a conversation like that.”

“Mickey,” Ian said flatly, clearly still lost. “We have conversations all the time.”

Mickey snorted. “Not like that we don’t,” he argued. “All science-y and shit, stuff you learned in your do-gooder classes.” He looked away, licked his dry lips. “I don’t know any of that crap, man.”

A moment of silence. And then—

“And you think I care about that?” Ian asked. “You think I’d rather hang out with some lab coat guy chatting about alternative medications when I could be out here riding with you?”

He made it sound so stupid, but it really wasn’t.

“You used to want that,” Mickey muttered, picking at a hangnail on his thumb. It burned when he tore it too far.

“You used to want a lot of things,” he continued when Ian stayed silent. “A lot of stuff I can’t give you, can’t do for you.”

He glanced at Ian from the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t read his husband’s expression. He sighed.

“And I’m jealous as shit, okay?” Mickey confessed. “Cause I can’t make you nerd out like that, and guys like that can.”

“Mickey,” Ian said, almost sternly. “Look at me.”

And fuck if that voice didn’t get what it wanted every time.

“I don’t want anything from that guy,” he insisted once they locked eyes. “I don’t want to talk to him. I sure as hell don’t want to be with him. And all of that in there?” He paused, made sure Mickey was paying attention.

“That was for the job, Mickey,” he said. “Playing nice for the contract we came here to get, that’s all.”

Mickey nodded, and let Ian lean in for a kiss.

“Besides,” Ian teased as he pulled back, reaching again to turn the keys in the ignition. “I’d rather smoke up product with you than listen to some random guy extoll it’s virtues for the treatment of glaucoma, for Christ’s sake.”

As the ambulance shuddered to life under them again, and Ian peeled out of the parking lot with one hand on the wheel and one firmly in place on Mickey’s thigh, Mickey relaxed for the first time in almost an hour.

“We gonna do that tonight then?” he asked, playing with Ian’s fingers there on his leg. “Smoke it up, I mean?”

Ian laughed. And as they rolled up to a stop light, he leaned over for another quick kiss.

“You bet,” he agreed, grinning widely. “And afterward, I can show you some of the other things I’d rather do with you.”

Mickey leaned back into his seat as the light went green again, keeping hold of Ian as they pulled forward into traffic.

Yeah. That sounded pretty good to him.

[arvinsescape]

Could you write a one shot where y/n has to go to a family trip, with extended family, and Tom has to go along, since he is the readers bf. And like it's him meeting her family. And then the first night, since they are sharing a room, when they are going to bed, her dad says something like "Oh I thought Tom would sleep on the couch". But her dad actually really likes Tom, and he only meant it as a joke, but Tom was too svared and ended up sleeping on the couch. And the next morning her dad is like "Oh boy, I respect you" and Tom is so happy

Thank you!!!

Gaining respect from dad.

A/N: Thank you so much for sending this in! I hope you enjoy 💕

Warnings: Swearing.

It was your annual family holiday and you were so excited, your family holidays were always filled with fun and games, your family being incredibly laid back. Tom was coming on this one and he was incredibly nervous, he'd only met your parents briefly and after being with you for almost 9 months he worried this would make them not like him, especially your dad.

"Why are you so nervous baby?" You asked Tom as you watched him run his hand through his hair for what must have been the millionth time that morning.

"I'm just worried your dad won't like me." He admitted with a sigh and you kissed his cheek.

"You worry too much, he'll love you!" You said comfortingly and Tom just shook his head.

"Y/N, I have been with you for almost nine months and this is the first time I'm meeting him properly. What if he thinks I'm some sort of fuck boy?" Tom worried and you laughed.

"Tom, my parents know what you do for a living, they know how busy you are. Trust me, you're worrying too much."

Tom tried to relax slightly, although he was still nervous, this was a family trip that involved all of your brothers and sisters and their partners. He was literally meeting them all properly at the same time. The only member of your family he knew by this point was your sister.

"Hey Tom!" Your sister said as she approached the two of you, her toddler in her arms. Your nephew was adorable and your youngest niece/ nephew. All your siblings were older than you, your sister was the second youngest and you had three older brothers. You came from a big family, the same as Tom and you were all close.

"Hey." Tom said back and your sister laughed.

"You look ridiculously nervous." She pointed out. "Don't be, believe it or not our dads actually a pretty cool one." She said.

"Y/N!" Your oldest brother said as he approached, pulling you into a hug, he was the only sibling who didn't have children, he'd been pretty unlucky in love. "This must be Tom," he said as he gestured to your nervous boyfriend.

"Hey," Tom said as he held out his hand, your brother shaking it.

"Y/N talks about you all the time!" Your brother laughed and you almost cursed him out. "Loved 'Cherry' by the way, amazing work." Your brother complimented and you smiled.

"Thank you." Tom said with a wide smile, you could tell he was relaxing slightly.

"Watch out for my oldest nephew, huge marvel fan." He laughed and Tom smiled, it felt strange to be recognised and complimented like this. He enjoyed being recognised and interacting with fans of course, but, your family liking and complimenting him? That just hit different for him.

Tom met the rest of your family and naturally your nieces and nephews were in awe. They really believed Spiderman was joining their holiday, it made you smile at how easily Tom was getting along with everyone, your brothers easily falling into conversation with him.

"You will be late to your own funeral." You heard the youngest of your brothers say and you turned to look, finding your dad approaching as your mum hurried him through the airport.

"I swear he does it on purpose." Your mother laughed as she pulled each of her children in for a hug, followed by their partners. "Tom, it's so nice to finally meet you properly." Your mum said as she pulled him in for a hug.

"She's a hugger my wife. You'll get used to it." Your dad laughed as he shook Tom's hand.

The plane journey went relatively well, or so you assumed, you fell asleep almost half an hour into the flight. Just as Tom was about to wake you, he saw a hand reach over the back of your seat and roughly ruffle your hair.

"Y/N! Get up you lazy shit." Your middle brother said as you almost jumped awake, Tom stifling a laugh at your expression.

"Oi!" You almost shouted as you smoothed your hair down, grabbing your brothers hand and playfully twisting it.

"I give, I give." Your brother laughed as he pulled his hand from yours. You and your brother still had a playfight like relationship, you'd spent hours as children getting into trouble for breaking things.

**

The day had gone well, you'd all split off to do your own things, you and Tom had headed out to do some shopping. Returning with a shit ton of stuff as you placed it all in your room. You changed into your bikini, the next thing you were going to do was chill by the villa's pool.

You were sunbathing next to Tom when you felt hands on your ankles and wrists, two of your brother's lifting you and throwing you into the pool. You came back up after a while, shocked expression on your face as you narrowed your eyes at your brothers.

"You little fuckers!" You shouted, mindful that no children were around. You watched as Tom tried but failed to stifle his laugh. "It's not funny, I was chilled." You exclaimed as your brother's laughed loudly.

"I'm sorry but that was pretty funny." Tom said as you swam to the side of the pool, Tom extending a hand to pull you up. You grasped it and as he was about to pull you up, you used all your strength to pull him in with you, a loud splash following as your brother's fell into an even bigger fit of laughter. Tom coming up after a moment.

"What the hell? I didn't do anything." Tom said and you shrugged.

"You laughed, you should've protected me and thrown them in!" You said, watching an amused grin spread across your brother's face.

"Y/N, you might have been the favourite L/N before, but he's met us now. That's it, he'll be on our team." He laughed and you playfully narrowed your eyes at them.

**

It had come to the evening, all of you were growing tired from the travelling, your sister and her boyfriend had retired to bed long ago. Your brother's yawning as they sipped their beers. Tom and your dad were engaged in a conversation and it looked like they were getting on really well.

"He's a nice guy." Your oldest brother said as he spoke to you. "I really like him."

"Yeah me too." Your other brother's agreed. "Somehow I expected him to be stuck up his own arse but he's completely the opposite, I like it."

"I'm gonna head to bed." You said after a while, your eyes growing heavier. "Night guys." You said as you stood up, Tom grasping your hand slightly as you walked past him as he stood with you, saying his good nights to your family.

"I thought Tom would be sleeping on the couch." Your dad said and you knew he was joking, you knew he was pretending to be the super over protective dad. You felt Tom stiffen slightly next to you. "Night guys." Your dad said with a small wave.

"Y/N/N, I'm gonna sleep on the couch, I don't wanna upset your dad." Tom said quietly as you made your way into the villa.

"Tom, he was joking!" You laughed.

"What if he wasn't? I don't want him to hate me, not when he's just met me." He said and you knew you weren't talking him out of this as you looked at the determined expression on his face. You gave him a kiss as you made your way up to your room.

"I'll miss you." You pouted, one final attempt to get him to join you.

"I'll miss you too, I love you." He said as he made his way into the living room of the villa and you smiled slightly, he really wanted your dad to like him. You loved him so much it made your heart swell.

**

The next morning your dad had woken first, as he always did. You found him in the kitchen when you'd made your way downstairs, an amused expression on his face.

"He knew I was joking right?" He asked.

"He just really wants you to like him." You said as you poured yourself some juice.

"I already do really like him." Your dad said and your heart soared, you watched as Tom made his way into the kitchen, giving you a swift kiss to the cheek. "Boy, I really like you." Your dad said as he clapped his hand on Tom's back.

"I respect you for what you did last night, I do. But Tom?" Your dad said and Tom looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to sleep on the couch, I was kidding. Your both old enough to make your own decisions. Now, stop being so nervous, I like you okay? I think you're good for her." Your dad smiled. "Okay, that's enough soppy shit, what are we gonna do today?" Your dad was a pretty cool dad.

[fandom-monium]

For the Holidays

Summary: In which Spencer does not want to go to his high school reunion, but you tagging along changes things. “You doubting my skills, Dr. Reid?”

WC: 2.1k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fake-dating trope, pining (so much pining), Morgan trying to be a good big bro (and wingman)

Spencer Reid does not hate Christmas.

“Reid, come on⎼”

“No.”

“Just listen to me.”

“I did, and it’s a stupid idea.”

No, really. Because hating Christmas would imply he didn’t care. Which he does.

Like when Garcia never fails to drag him into decorating the bullpen every year. Obnoxious Christmas music plays in the background as they bomb Hotch’s office, and it’s worth the smile on his face when he walks in the next morning.

It would mean hating Rossi and his extravagant dinner parties. And yeah, he always hosts but these are just as special if not more so. His mansion is decked in fairy lights and streamers, the food are traditional holiday recipes, and the whole place seems a little less massive.

And he doesn’t hate his breaks. He nearly spits out his coffee when Morgan grumbles about how he almost tripped and fell over from the ice. He has to scramble away as the older man bats at him.

Or when Prentiss drops off holiday-themed pastries? Mhm, just thinking of the ribbon-tied box makes him salivate.

Hating the Christmas card is completely out of the question. Henry and Michael make them every year for the entire team, and JJ makes an effort to shake them out carefully for. It has a boyish charm Spencer never had at their age, a mess of glitter and construction paper. He displays it on his desk anyway.

And you. It would mean hating all the various hot chocolate beverages you’ve made since December started.

Apparently, it’s serious business⎼the art of hot chocolate making. You’ve leaned against his desk, hands waving about as you try to articulate to him the relevance, going over anything and everything you can remember of its history and significance. Of course, he knows all of this already, but he likes you too much to stop you. He almost releases a loving sigh. Instead, he settles for nodding and grinning at you, and he doesn’t really get it but he loves it: the hot chocolate, your pensive expression as you await his critique, even though by now he’s sure you know he has no other comments except ‘delicious’.

He loves it all. He loves you⎼all of you guys. Obviously.

So, no. He does not hate Christmas.

But that doesn’t mean he loves it either.

Which is why, when Morgan leans against his desk, he greets him as normal, a smile forming on his lips as he sets his book down. There is no danger here, except Morgan’s guns. And the heinous green and red envelope between his fingers⎼

Where the hell did he get that.

Spencer’s blood froze. His collection of trauma was nothing compared to this.

Now here he is, packing away his things so he can go home to his warm, cozy apartment and order takeout like he does every year. He's not one for change. No need to break tradition.

But Morgan is acting like a child. Wait, no, even children are better behaved than this. Children at least give up faster.

“I’m telling you, it’s a good idea.”

“As a certified genius, I can say with all honesty, it is not.”

“I promise you it’ll be fine,” Morgan reassures him, voice soothing. The letter, colorful and bright and an eye sore, mocks Spencer. He wishes his reflexes were faster, so he can snatch the abhorrent cluster of sparkles and poorly printed holiday cartoons. And shred it.

Maybe if he glares hard enough, it’ll burst into flames.

“Morgan, my class hated me. The whole school hated me,” Spencer shoves another book into his satchel. It's harder than he means to, and he sends a silent apology to Stephen King; he usually handles his books with care. But not right now. Now, he's tired and exasperated and he just wants to curl up on his couch with The Doctor. "I'm sure I won't be missed."

"But you’re the life of the party!"

Spencer looks up.

Morgan winces, "Yeah, even I wouldn't believe me.” Spencer snorts, continuing to stuff his belongings into his satchel. Morgan’s relentless however. “But you deserve to show them up. You’ve got degrees⎼plural⎼and you're a hotshot FBI agent.”

“Are you not aware of the tragedy that is my high school social experience?”

“Oh, I'm very aware, and thank you for being vulnerable with me. But it's because I care that I’m telling you.”

Morgan’s hand falls heavy on his shoulder, making Spencer pause. He meets his gaze, the man’s expression solemn.

“You deserve to rub it in their faces until the only thing they can smell is your success.”

Morgan grins when that draws out a laugh from him.

Spencer huffs, “Shouldn't we be the bigger person here by not going?”

The older man grimaces, retracting his hand as if the idea offends him. “Fuck that. Be a show off! They deserve to be knocked down a peg after what they did to you in high school.”

Spencer bites his lip. Yes, he’s accomplished, and yeah, as Morgan said, he’s a ‘hot shot FBI agent’. But the memories surge in like a broken dam, cruel laughter and harsh words crashing into him as if he’s twelve years old again. He’s an adult now, so he doesn’t topple over from the impact like before, but the pain is a phantom limb, old and familiar, and leaves a pit in his stomach.

He was a child prodigy then. How would going back as he is now be any different?

Morgan's heart clenches when an unspoken pain flits across Spencer’s face, glossing over his eyes. He can't imagine how deep the emotional scars go, but he knows Spencer needs some form of closure from his past. So when he found the invite, he knew they had to seize the chance. If he wants to continue to move forward, Spencer has to learn to let go. And right now, this is his first class ticket. It’s why he’s pushing this so hard.

This is for Spencer.

But the doctor shakes his head, a strained smile tugging his lips. “Morgan, I had no friends. Even if I go, what am I supposed to do once I arrive? It'd be awkward enough as is.”

“True,” The older man contemplates, a light bulb going off as he snaps his fingers. “You know what you should do? Ask (Your Name) to go with you.”

“(Your Name)?” Spencer jolts, fumbling to catch his phone. Despite being a man of science, his eyes dart around, like you’re a demon summoned at the mention of your name. “Wha-what? Why?”

“They could act as your buffer. And you did say you wanted to be closer with them. This is the perfect opportunity,” Morgan shrugs. Like his suggestion is common sense, logical. Maybe it is.

But this is you they’re talking about. You would never. You’re too cool for a silly high school reunion.

At least, that’s what he’s convinced himself as Spencer’s face pinches. He catches his lip with his teeth. “Morgan, I appreciate the… thought, but I could never ask (Your Name).”

“Ask me what?”

… Oh no. You are a demon.

Spencer whirls around in time to see the glass door shut behind you. You stand there in all your poise and beauty, the fluorescent lights softening your expression. You're bundled up in a matching coat and scarf, the knitted beanie snug on your crown and clashing with your outfit (Garcia told you it’s not your Christmas present, but you’ve worn it everyday since). There’s sprinkles of snow all over you.

You’re not a demon, Spencer decides, even as you brush a clump off your shoulder, nose scrunched in annoyance. More like a snow angel.

You tilt your head curiously when Spencer doesn’t answer immediately. There’s a knowing look on his face as Morgan, realizing the poor guy probably won’t respond any time soon, steps up.

“(Your Name), I thought you went home already.”

You cross the bullpen. “I was. Garcia walked me down and I got to the courtyard. Then I realized she had me so distracted that I left my phone charger,” You rummage around your desk and without looking up, you reiterate, “So ask me what?”

Spencer blinks. “What?”

“You had something to ask me, right?”

Right. That. He runs his fingers through his hair awkwardly. “Actually, I don’t⎼oof.”

Morgan jabs his side, “Yes, there is something Reid needs to ask you.” He sends him a meaningful look.

“Shoot.” You nod to them before rifling through your desk drawers. Nope, not there. You card through files and office supplies, oblivious to the conversation Spencer and Morgan have with their eyes, shooting looks and mouthing at each other.

You bend over your desk as Morgan gestures, Ask them!

Spencer shakes his head vigorously, No!

Do it, or I'll do it for you, he mouths.

Spencer squints at him. You wouldn't.

Morgan smirks and Spencer's heart drops to his stomach. Before he can run, shout for help, literally anything, the man slings a buff arm around his shoulders, forcing Spencer to slightly bend down to his level, hugging him to his side.

He's trapped. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Fuck.

“Reid is going to his high school reunion,” Morgan starts, biting back a grin when the nerd squirms against him. Both men boys watch, one excited and the other petrified as you disappear behind your desk.

“That’s nice.”

"Yeah. But all his classmates are older than him and married…“

“Uh-huh…” You scan the dark floors, half-listening as Spencer frowns at the unnecessary detail. He never told Morgan such a thing. He didn’t even know, so how would Morgan-?

“So, can you guys pretend to be a couple or something?”

Thud.

“What!?”

Luckily, neither of you notice the other’s surprise as Spencer chokes on air at the same time you let out a pained hiss.

Morgan lets him pull away, withholding a snicker. “You good, (Your Name)?”

“I’m okay!” Your head pops up from under your desk as you rub the top of your head. You blink owlishly. “I’m sorry, did you just ask me to pretend to be your partner?”

“Yes! But Reid’s partner,” Morgan emphasizes, slapping the doctor’s back hard enough he nudges forward.

You stand and Spencer straightens up, trying not to fidget as your gaze burns into his. You’ve known each other for quite some time now, and while Spencer likes to think he knows you pretty well, it bothers him when your expression becomes unreadable. He knows it shouldn't but it does. He’s a profiler, yet your thoughts are completely obscured by a mask. It only makes him more nervous than he already is.

His skin feels hot when your eyes trail over him, and he prays his scarf is enough to cover the flush spreading from his neck.

He's about to disintegrate when you finally answer.

"Okay."

His brow shoots up and his heart flips. You move away from your desk as he sputters, "Really? Are⎼are you sure? I don’t want to put you out of your way.”

“I wouldn’t have agreed otherwise. Why?” You step closer, and he can’t breathe, not without it hitting your face. You stare him down the bridge of your nose, eyes narrowed. “You doubting my skills, Dr. Reid?”

“What? No, of course not!”

You raise an eyebrow expectantly. “Then it’s settled? We’ll pretend to be a couple for your reunion thing?"

A beat of silence. Spencer realizes you're waiting for his confirmation. But panic rises like bile in his throat and he hesitates.

Maybe he should back out now, retract the entire conversation and take the embarrassment like a man. Tell you he was never planning to attend the stupid reunion because his classmates were (and probably still are) assholes. Honesty is key to any relationship after all.

Especially between coworkers. Ahem.

A flicker of movement and Spencer glances over your shoulder. Morgan nods frantically at him, teeth flashing as he grins wider than before. He gives him two thumbs up.

Maybe, for once, he should pull a Morgan and just vibe it.

Yeah. Yeah!

Swallowing, he nods to you, giving you his signature white-person smile because he's sure if he speaks he might blurt out something completely inappropriate. Like statistics on workplace relationships (they’re great reading material, okay).

Your lips quirk up. "Cool. Text me the details when you get the chance.”

You brush past him before he manages a reply, your footsteps fading. Morgan waggles his eyebrows at Spencer. Spencer blankly stares after you.

“What just happened?”

“You just got a date to your reunion. A fake date, mind you, but you’re welcome nonetheless,” Morgan smirks at him. “So, you got a plan, Pretty Boy?”

His face falls, and the hearts in his eyes⎼shit, had they always been there?⎼chip slightly.

He does not have a plan.

Deleted scene:

“Did you do it?”

“It went all according to plan, Mama.”

AN: I fucked myself over and wrote 7k+ and still counting. Now it’s an unplanned holiday mini series. This kind of stems from Bonding as this uses Mysterious!Reader. Also, I seem to be into pining (fuck established relationships, suffer in silenceee). Whatever holiday you celebrate, I hope you still enjoy this one shot!! 

One of the biggest disappointments of CM: Spencer doesn’t confront his high school bullies. I read several fics of him doing so, but a lot of them have the bullies be just as much of an asshole as they were to him in the past, but he deserves more closure. 

This will be my take on it. It’ll be a lot of pining but I hope to focus on the his hardships in a less angsty, dramatic way.

Hope you enjoy it!! There will be at least 3 parts?

Also, spread the usage of the term ‘partner’, which can be used for same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.

[hood-ex]

So Nightwing 83 is out;

Pros and Cons of it?

I experienced so many emotions while reading that. I need to take a fucking walk holy shit. I'm buzzin'. But, okay, pros and cons. Let's gooo.

I'm still not sure if I'm really all that stoked about Melinda actually being Dick's sister, but I like that Dick still doesn't trust her. I want him to look for more evidence behind what she's saying before he really decides to partner with her though.

Dick's exchange with Audre about him breaking in was kinda funny. "Oh, yeah. I suppose I did."

The helicopter scene was cool even though it looked stupid for him to launch himself right into the line of fire where he could've easily been riddled with bullets (and somehow wasn't).

I don't like that Babs is still wearing that shirt. I actually forgot she was wearing that, so seeing it so suddenly when she was rushing to help Dick was like, "Oh, yeah. There's that thing I hate."

I thought it was weird how Babs casually told Dick that he had been asleep for two days. Like, hellur. Dick got kicked in the head so hard that he blacked out, and he was also hit in the head again prior to that. You're telling me Babs wasn't at all concerned about the reasoning behind him sleeping for two days being brain trauma related? If I knew someone who had been hit in the head so hard that they went unconscious, and if they showed no signs of waking up after a normal amount of sleeping time had passed after said event occurred, I would be freaking the fuck out and calling an ambulance. Just saying.

"Tim's been patrolling for you." You been reading fanfics, Taylor? Ha, I'm kidding.

Dick wearing Converse made me 😂.

I do like that we got to see Dick consulting people in his social circle. I like that he went to his friends for their opinions because that's what we all do irl. We ask our friends for advice and ideas. It also continues to show us that Dick will use his personal connections to help him achieve something.

I gotta admit, the Dick and Clark scene really fucking got me. I'm a sucker for scenes between them. This interaction reaffirmed that Dick did indeed get the Nightwing name from Clark, and it also reaffirmed that Dick is an extremely respected person in the cape community.

"You're a lot like him, you know?" Okay, thanks, Clark. I didn't need my heart today.

Tbh, the thing that really got me was Clark asking Dick to look out for Jon, and Clark thinking of Dick as the ultimate role model. That... speaks so much about Dick's character. Like just think about it. Superman thinks that Dick is the best possible person that Jon could grow up to be like. And it's not just Clark who thinks this either. Oh, no. Slade fucking Wilson thinks so too (at least to some extent) which is exactly why he wanted Rose to adopt Dick's values (via Rebirth Deathstroke #19).

This issue just proved that DC editors sure ain't working hard enough because there was a damn typo during Dick's speech. It should've read, "Too many good people have fallen in Bludhaven," instead of, "To many good people have fallen in Bludhaven." Like come onnn. I betcha they're using the same editor who approved the "Romani smile" line. Yeesh.

The things Dick wanted to do with The Alfred Pennyworth Foundation made me laugh because when Dick was talking about his plans with Clark, Dick was like, "I'm worried it's too small," and Clark was like, "It's not small, it's focused." Focused? It sounds like Dick is trying to tackle a pretty hefty amount of social, economical, and environmental issues. I mean, okay, so he's focusing on Bludhaven mostly. I'll give him that.

Tim's text to Dick made me laugh because, well, yeah. Yeah. Jason texting Dick is... interesting. I have mixed feelings about Jason's current place in the family dynamic, so part of me is like, "Cool," and the other part of me is like hmm... that's a little fanon-y.

Either way, I just think it's funny to imagine all the bats stopping what they're doing to watch Dick talk on TV. You do have to kind of think of them as the Kardashians in a way when stuff like this comes up. Because, yeah, they've seen each other on TV before so it's not like they'd all be rushing to the nearest TV while yelling, "Hurry up! Dick's on TV!" but he is important to them, and they do want to support him still (even though I am questioning said support a bit because writers haven't built up Steph and Cass's relationship with Dick enough so this whole thing feels a little too "perfect family" for my tastes).

Also! Damian texting Dick! We have to assume that Damian is tracking his family (or, at least, tracking Dick specifically) on the web. How else would he have known to watch Dick's speech? Unless someone texted him about it. But uh... that kinda doesn't make sense with Damian running away from his fam and everything.

Heartless referring to Dick as "my first." Hm. Okay. I feel like I need him to be more intimidating or something. His whole aesthetic reminds me of that kabuki mask-wearing dude from Big Hero 6. Yokai/Robert dude. But less ominous.

All in all, I definitely appreciate some of the relationships that were shown in this issue. I still just find the massive support Dick is suddenly getting from all of his friends and family to be a little... off-putting. Specifically, because this arc takes place after the amnesia arc where we got nearly none of that same support. It feels like two large, opposing extremes. The amnesia arc wasn't enough, and in comparison, Taylor's arc almost feels like overkill because of it. As if he's trying to compensate for the lack of support by being like Look At All The Support Over Here! And If You Look To Your Right, Guess What You'll See? More Support!!

I guess it's weird to complain about Dick getting loved on but, narratively, the degree to which it's occurring compared to the last arc just doesn't feel right. There's a lack of build to a satisfying balance.

[cloud9in]

Promises (Poppy x MC) Part (2/?)

Read Part ONE (summary for fic is there)

ITS BEEN A MINUTE. @iamsimpforpoppy I hope you’re still around to read :P I love this story lol. Hope you guys do too!!!

Word Count (2.8k)

Bea and Poppy’s relationship became official a month after their initial meeting. One would say they moved quickly, too quickly. But every love story is different. This one in particular seemed to have little to none flaws, if you ignored the fact that Bea was promoted to Carter’s right hand woman in the Southside Spades.

 They did end up having that conversation after all.

 “…Are you sure Carter? I mean this is a huge deal and a special role-“

 “If I didn’t think you were capable you wouldn’t be here right now Goldilocks.”

 Carter winked and clinked his half empty beer bottle against Bea’s, who surprisingly had a nearly full bottle. He took note of the abnormality. 

 The blonde instinctively rolled her eyes at the nickname, “Okay but that name has to go. We need codenames……ooooh how about bimbo and himbo.” 

 “I’m guessing…..no, hoping I’m the himbo?!” Carter comments as he promptly tries to stop the laugh escaping from his lips.

 “Mmmmmmm, I’ll get back to you on that.”

 They share a laugh and Bea feels Carter’s gaze latch onto her in her peripherals. She could sense the shift of energy in the space between them, it almost felt uncomfortable, and that was something she never felt with Carter. “I never asked you if you were okay with such a role. If you aren't, I understand completely, I just want the best for you.”

 The blonde eyes soften at his comment and she looks at him, “never doubted that, where is this going though because you never express your feelings like a normal human being.”

 He pulls on the strings of her hoodie until it completely caves around her face, burying her whole.

 “Hey asshole!” 

 “That’s for talking too much.”

 Bea yanks her hoodie open and sticks her tongue out in a mock expression. “Oh boohoo. Poppy literally says the same thing, I don’t get it. I talk, it’s a problem. I don’t talk, it’s an even BIGGER problem. Damn a girl can’t ever exist in peace.”

 Carter places his bottle flat on the table and studies the blonde’s face. 

 She kept rambling on about her new girlfriend and the gang leader didn’t know it was possible to feel happy yet anxious at the same time. He was aware of when they entered the talking stage, went on their first date, and finally became official, because Bea told him everything. As much as the experience of being in a real relationship was new to her, Bea looked up to him and somehow she knew Carter would give her the best guidance possible. 

 It didn’t stop him from worrying. Like an older brother would. He feared the two would mix, and everyone knows that love and crime will eventually combust. He is no stranger to it.  

 “Bea.”

 “Did you know she stole one of my hoodies and actually won’t give it back?? What am I supposed to do, just take it? No she’d murder me.”

 “Jackson.”

 Her voice slowly dies down after sensing the seriousness in his tone. She takes a sip of her beer to ease the silence that sat in the air, and Carter responds shortly after.

 “You know I trust you with my life right? You’re very important to me, kid.” 

 “I know.”

 Guilt was a feeling he chose to lock away in an unbreakable box and bury six feet deep. There couldn’t be guilt in a lifestyle like this. But Bea was his only exception. And she was slowly bringing that box back up to the surface. 

 “I need you to promise me that you won’t let these two worlds collide.”

 “Carter….”

 “One of you will get hurt. And I won’t forgive myself if it’s you.”

 He leaves Bea at the table, the remnants of his comment still replaying in her head. She pulls out her phone and sees a text from Poppy on her lockscreen. 

 Other Half 💗❤️‍🔥- Can’t wait to see you tomorrow 😘 

 The blonde smiles unconsciously and opens the message to respond.

 I’m missing you like crazy. I have a special surprise for you.

 Other Half 💗❤️‍🔥- You know I highly dislike surprises, just tell me. 

 And ruin the surprise? You must be crazier than I thought. 

 Other Half 💗❤️‍🔥- Jackson.

 Patience babe…tomorrow it is. 

 Bea clicks her phone shut and slips it back into her pocket before downing the rest of the beer. 

***

“You know your hand on my ass only makes them stare even more Jackson?”

 Bea bites her lips and gropes the blonde’s plump backside shamelessly while slowly whispering into her ear.

 “That’s the point, princess.”

 Poppy shivers almost instantly at the boldness. “Is this the surprise you were talking about?” Bea doesn’t answer, instead trailing her hand up Poppy’s skirt. This was definitely not the time and place for such behavior but she was clearly still learning everything about her girlfriend. 

 And it definitely felt good to call her that.

 “Since when did you get so brazen? You know you’re exactly the type of person my daddy told me to stay away from.”

 Bea laughs at that statement and wraps her arm around the blonde’s waist, “yeah? And why’s that?”

 “Well I can’t ask him now, he might rough you up and that’s my job.” 

 Poppy could feel the stares of everyone burning into them, but she could only focus on the blonde cuddled up against her. The shorter girl wouldn’t call herself an attention whore, but she sure loved the PDA that Bea projected without a care. It felt nice to be genuinely admired in public rather than putting on a mask everyday. 

 But it’s safe to say that Poppy preferred all the handsy stuff to happen in private. 

 “Do you want to grab dinner with me tonight Pops?”

 “Am I picking the place?”

 “…Yes.”

 “Then yes.”

 Bea rolls her eyes at the blonde’s downright shady self but smiles nevertheless. 

 “Now don’t cancel on me out of the blue. I will not be thrilled about it.”

 “Shouldn’t I be telling you this? Your dad always has something going on in his business that somehow has to involve you too.”

 Poppy sighs and glances over at Bea, “well you know I’ll have to take over eventually. Especially since I’m legally allowed to handle deals now.”

 “I hate that word. Legal. Ugh.” 

 The shorter girl scoffs and plants her hands on her hips, “yeah I bet you do.”

***

Bea dragged open her closet in search of clothes for dinner tonight but the dinging noise of a text distracts her. 

 C-Dog🖤- Need you tonight. Something came up, meet us at the garage.

Bea wanted to thank the gods up above that she didn’t promise Poppy that she’d show up for dinner. But that wasn’t going to save her from the fury of the blonde. Good thing it can’t get worse than that, right….?

Only it was. And Poppy will probably beat her up herself, if she wasn’t dead by the next day. 

Bea’s mind and heart races as she digs her brain for a proper excuse to tell her girlfriend, but is very unsuccessful. She’s good at drug dealing though. 

 Going with the good ole truth never really hurt right?

 Baby I’m so sorry I won’t be able to make it tonight. Got held up with the gang. I know I’m an asshole, I’ll keep in touch I swear. 

 Other Half 💗❤️‍🔥- What else could I expect from my gang banger girlfriend 🙄 please stay safe..

 You know I always do.

 Other Half 💗❤️‍🔥- Do I? We need to talk about this tomorrow.

 Of course Pops.

 Other Half 💗❤️‍🔥- Call me every chance you get or I swear I’ll track you and trust me you do not want me to do that.

 Yeah she definitely doesn’t. Especially since Carter sounded frantic over the phone. The last thing Bea needed was a paranoid girlfriend, so she played it cool like always. 

 Just simple stuff baby girl, talk soon.

 ***

“…What do you mean it’s gone?! So where is it? Do you know what this means Carter??”

 The gang leader sighs frustratingly, rubbing his eyes in efforts to gain some stability. “The product was here, and now it is not. Which can only mean it was stolen. And when I find out which son of a bitch did it, they’re dead.”

 “In the meantime, we are dead”, Bea emphasizes wildly. “This is the Red Raven gang we’re talking about. If they get any inclination that we lost their drugs, they’ll kill and replace us. No mercy. None.”

The blonde paces back and forth trying not to think about buying a plane ticket to Timbuktu. 

Carter approaches Bea and plants his hands on her shoulder, “breathe Jackson. You are my partner. The leader of this gang. So get it out of your system and start being rational.”

 The blonde lets her shoulders sag as she inhales and exhales in place for a while. The minute she’s grounded she catches Carter’s gaze and her eyes light up. “List. I need a list of whoever went in the room with all of the product. We need to narrow it down.”

***

“Jackson you’re a fucking genius.”

 “It’s called having common sense but I’ll take the praise. It’s the only one I’m getting from you anyways.”

 Carter resisted the urge to pick a fight with the younger girl, because finding stolen drugs and not getting killed seemed like a much better idea. 

 Bea figured out that Henry, one of the newly recruited members of SS was a thief, or maybe just a crackhead. Same thing. He was the last to be in that room so all eyes were on him, and guns.

 “Heyyy buddy. Henry right?”

 The shorter man trembled at the sight of a gun lodged right into his mouth. “Mmmm!”

 “Oh I’m sorry, did you want to say something? Here let me just”, Bea clicks the gun which only causes the thief to panic even more. It was almost pitiful. 

 “Alright lay off the poor sucker.” 

 Bea pulls the gun out of his mouth and sits down on a stool in front of Henry with a grin. “So…where is the stash darling?” 

 He points almost immediately to a built in storage locker with a shaky finger. 

 “Ohhh well that was so easy Henry! Glad you could comply. You should tell your friends to be more like you. But…between me and you, they might already be dead”, Bea whispers that last part slowly, smirking when Henry’s lip quivers violently. 

 “Please just do it already! Why are you guys waiting?”

 Bea raised an eyebrow in surprise and glanced over at Carter who scanned the man’s face intensely. “I guess he wants to die? Talk about kinks I mean come on”

 “No.”

 Carter reaches his arm out towards Bea but never takes his eyes off Henry. The blonde watches in confusion until she realizes the thief is looking behind her, and so is Carter.

 “It’s a setup Bea, duck!”

 She dived for the ground quicker than lightning as a bullet flies through the air, leaving a trail of dust behind. Carter ducks for cover as well and starts firing rounds towards the men who snuck up on them. He managed to hit three of them but one grabs Bea by the leg and drags her against the rough concrete. 

 “Son of a- get your dirty hands off of my Dr. Martens. My girlfriend bought me these!”

 A swift kick to the face shut the blonde up real quick but she manages to recoil and send the man sprawling backwards into a row of barrels. 

 Carter guns him down and Bea finds her footing, pistol in hand and a thirst for revenge. But they never stopped coming. 

 Her and Carter were left battered and bruised, but alive. Their product was gone again though. But atleast they were alive. Carter told her that it was a theft mission primarily and neither of them were meant to die. But it only made Bea wonder who those people were.

 And why were they kept alive?

***

“Beatriz Naomi Jackson what the actual fuck?!”

 “Oh not the middle name…”

 Bea tries to avoid Poppy’s killer gaze as she surveys the damage that had been done to her girlfriend’s torso, legs, and face. 

 The strawberry blonde could barely mutter a word. Her mouth opened and closed in brief shock before collapsing next to the injured girl. 

 Bea could see the tears flowing down her rosy cheeks, which contrasted her porcelain skin. “Poppy…are you crying? I..please don’t..”

 “What do you expect me to do Bea? It kills me to see you hurt like this. Who did it? Tell me!” The blonde chokes on her own words as her hands hovers cautiously over Bea’s wounds, afraid to make her feel pain.

 “No I can’t tell you. I mean…I didn’t expect this to happen. It was a setup and we were outnumbered-“

 “We need to get you to a hospital Bea oh my god.”

 The blonde knew that she couldn’t go there. Not with the cops on the scene of the shootout, and actively looking for the people involved. Aka her and Carter. He told her to lay low and heal up, but she didn’t expect Poppy to be sitting on her bed waiting for her when she got home. The initial look on her face made Bea regret ever choosing this life. 

 She regrets it ever since being with Poppy. But it’s like a drug, once you start it’s hard to stop. 

 “I’ll call my father, he has the best doctors available and we’re gonna get your the right treatment and-“ 

 Poppy immediately cuts off, her eyebrows scrunching up until she realizes something. “Wait…what do you mean you were outnumbered Bea?” 

 Bea swallows heavily, praying that this conversation couldn’t escalate further, but that isn’t the case. 

 “Bea, answer me”

 “It..it was just me and Carter. We didn’t think there would be an ambush. We had just gone there to get goods we lost.”

 “And where is Carter? Does he know you’re like this right now? Did he leave you, I swear to god Bea if he left you…” Poppy’s voice cracks as her whole body shivers in violent waves. 

 Bea pulls her girlfriend in for a hug even though it causes every inch of her body to sting harshly. It was the comfort that she needed though. Watching Poppy breakdown over the sight of her was too much, and she began to contemplate everything. 

 “Pops listen to me, I cannot go to the hospital right now. There are cops looking for us.” The strawberry blonde stares at her until she understands the velocity of Bea’s words. 

 “Fine. But there will be a doctor that will come to treat you at my house. And you’re coming, I don’t want to hear it.” 

 Bea knew not to protest that. It was quite obvious this whole incident has left both parties distraught and she didn’t want to try and tell Poppy how to feel. 

 “Just tell me something. Are you in immediate danger? Is someone trying to harm you right now.”

 The blonde chose her words carefully. Because even after coming home beaten to a pulp, she still couldn’t tell the love of her life the full truth. 

 “No Poppy, they just wanted the drugs. They got what they wanted. I’m not in danger.”

 For now.

 “I will be okay.”

 I hope.

 “Don’t lie to me Jackson. I can’t do this if you lie. You promised me you wouldn’t get to the point where you’d have to choose between me and the gang.”

 “I know Poppy…I-“

 “You promised.”

 “And I’m going to keep that promise-“

 “Yeah the hell you are. And you’re going to promise me that you won’t ever come home like this again. You’re going to get yourself killed before we even start our life together. Our future.”

 Bea sucks in a breath which punctures her chest. She couldn’t tell if the injuries or Poppy’s words had caused that terrible ache. “Our…Wait I..”

 “I love you Jackson. I…don’t care if you think it’s too early to say that. I don’t care if I sound too cheesy for a mean girl. I love kissing you and feeling the laughter run through your body when we hug. I love being the reason you smile. I love you. And you don’t have to say it back. I just..I needed you to know-“

 “I love you too. Probably maybe from the moment I met you.”

 Poppy’s eyes seemed to glisten once again and this time there was no sadness etched into the shape. She smiled a pure smile and wrapped her arms around Bea in a tight hug. 

 She captures her lips in a searing kiss that leads to a trail of kisses down the strawberry blonde’s neck, dip of her collarbone, and chest. Bea kisses her until her chest gives out from exhaustion and pain.

 “Then you have to promise that this won’t happen again.” 

 “I promise.”

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTES: They’re gonna be fineeeee, right guys??? Graduation next chapter woooo.

Tags: @samanthadalton @somewillwin @clowneryme  @baexpoppy @poppysmc @doey-eyes8 @veenast @straightlikewetspaghetti @phoennixxsblog

[mediocre-writerr]

betty [quinn fabray]

quinn fabray x fem reader

summary: the last part of my quinn fabray mini series! this takes place in the pov of quinn and her side of the story! enjoy : )

*not my gif*

“Quinny?” my mom poked her head through the door, “You got to get ready for school.” she says softly. 

I groaned as I shoved my head into a pillow. I didn’t want to go to school today or well ever for that matter. 

And you’re probably thinking: Quinn what teenager actually wants to go to school? 

i did...once. When I didn’t fuck up the best thing that ever happened to me. Meeting her at her locker, holding her hand down the hall, singing songs to her in glee club. All of it. But that’s all faded away like a moment in time. 

“Not today.” I mumble. 

“Quinn, honey, I let you miss so much school these past couple months. I need you to go just this once.” she whispers before closing the door. 

I let out another groan as I pulled the covers off my body. Stumbling my way into the bathroom. As I look in the mirror the pit that was in my stomach continued growing. 

I hated how I looked. I hated how I felt. I fucked up. It was all on me.

And it all started at junior prom.

“Love, dance with me!” Y/N yelled over the loud music that was playing, trying to pull me out of my seat at the table I was sitting at. 

I smiled widely at her enthusiasm before raising my eyebrows at her. She knows I hate the crowds. Sure, I was popular and wanted the attention.

But there’s a difference between walking down the hall like a bad ass than being trapped in a crowd of thousands, feeling like you’re suffocating and sweating.

“This is my favorite song.” she pouted when I gave her the look. 

I pulled the hand that she had in her hand closer to me. Giving it a sweet kiss, “Next dance, I promise.”

She pouts a little before running back off to the dance floor. I sat there drinking the spiked punch, letting the alcohol burn all the way down my throat and into my stomach. Leaving a warm sensation behind. 

I watched Y/N’s every move. She wasn’t very far away from where I was planted. Jumping up and down, doing crazy dance moves, with Sam. 

I love Sam with every bone in my body, but I was always jealous of the blonde boy. He was a nice guy, funny, good looking and super close to Y/N. 

“Looks like your girlfriend is having more fun with Sam, than she is with you.” Santana says, leaning against the chair I was sitting on.

“I don’t like the crowds. She knows that. She’s just trying to enjoy her prom.” I mumble, trying to ignore her snide remarks. 

Santana hums in response before taking a sip of her own punch, “Sure, let’s keep telling yourself that. And I’ll be the one saying ‘I told you so’ when she leaves you for him.” 

That was it. That’s what started my insecurities. 

Was I good enough for Y/N? Or will she find her own non-complicated love with Sam or Finn? Was Santana right?

After procrastinating for God knows how long, I finally made it to school. 

“Quinn!” Mercedes yelled getting my attention away from locker. 

I tried forcing on my best smile, “Hey what’s up?” 

“You’re coming to Y/N’s party tonight right? Everyone’s gonna be there! I don’t want you to miss it.” Mercedes said.

I shook my head looking down at my shoes, “No. I wasn’t planning on going. I don’t think she would want me there anyway.” I mumble.

Mercedes looked at me sympathetically, “Well I want you to come. Dig yourself out of the depressing hole you’re in and come hang out with people who care about you. Think about it, okay?” 

I nod before she goes running off to talk to Kurt. I open my locker and stare at the cardigan hanging off of one of the hooks. My eyes dart around my locker to see the pictures of the two of us hanging on the walls. 

I miss her.

The bell rings and I weave my way through the somewhat crowded walls and into my anatomy class for homeroom. I take my seat next to Jacob Ben Israel and sigh softly. 

“Alright class take your seats!” Mr. Barnson yells as he walks in the door, taking his bag off.

I look at the empty stool next to me. Y/N wasn’t in here today. She must’ve stayed home. I wish I could’ve, especially after what happened yesterday. 

“Jacob, you’re going to be Ms. Fabray’s new lab partner.” he says and I watch as Jacob’s eyes lighten up.

The afro-hair kid coming to sit next to me, “Can I smell your hair?” he asks, disturbingly. 

I shutter in disgust and raise my hand, “Yes Ms. Fabray?” 

“What happened to Y/N?” I ask.

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N switched homerooms this morning.” he says nonchalantly while looking back at his list for attendance. 

Oh. 

The day went on and on, dragging like a bad movie that wouldn’t end. Until finally it did. 

I walked to school today. I’ve been walking to school the past couple months. It was a nice break to just clear my head and think about everything. Sometimes it hurt to do, but it was much needed. 

I didn’t want to go straight home today. I didn’t want to go home and just lock myself in my room, curling up into a ball of nothingness. So I walked around more. 

“Quinn? Do you need a ride?” I hear a voice ask.

I turn towards the voice to see Mike and Tina in his car, “No thanks. I think I’m just gonna walk.” 

“Okay. Well we’ll see you tonight, right? We all miss hanging out with you.” he suggests.

“I don’t know.” I say looking anywhere, but them.

“You should.” Tina says before the light turns green and they drive off with a wave. 

I continued walking until I found myself at the mall need Breadstix. I hate the mall. 

I used to love going there with Santana and Brittany back during sophomore year of high school. When I was dating Finn and head Cheerio, but now it just reminds me of everything that went wrong. 

When my insecurity was at its greatest peak. 

“Hello beautiful!” I say as I answer Y/N’s phone call, walking through the mall. 

“Hi love! I miss you so much.” she whispers and I smile softly.

I hear rustling coming from her side of the phone, another girl’s voice, “I miss you more.” I say softly, “Who are you with?”

“Oh I’m with my friend Lizzie. She’s also a intern here and we’re just having dinner! She’s really cool!” Y/N said excitedly.

The rest of the conversation was about her internship and the amazing stuff she was learning and the new people she was meeting. How much she was having.

I should have been happy for her, but all I could think about what was, how much her life is better without me? What a fun life she could have without me? 

I left the mall that I was once walking in and nothing seemed good enough to buy. I was getting closer to my house as I was walking on the broken cobblestone. Just thinking about her.

How much I just want her to come back home and into my arms. How much I want her to let me know that I’m the only one she wants and that I am good enough for her.

Someone’s car came by slowing down next to me as they rolled their window down, pulling me out of my thoughts. Santana was sitting in the driver’s seat with her sunglasses on. Her usual high pony was down which revealed her curly brunette hair. 

She looked like a figment of my worst intentions. Her lips stained with a dark red lipstick and the way she was eyeing me. It just sent shivers down my spine. 

“Quinn, get in, let’s drive.” 

And those four words was all it took. Well four words and a human full of loneliness. 

A car honks shaking me from that terrible terrible memory. Leaving me with a mind and head full of thoughts. 

Should I go to the party tonight? Will she want me there? Will I regret not going? 

There’s two ways me going would play out.

1.) I would get there and she would open the door and slam it on my face. Then she would open it again just to tell me to go fuck myself. 

I shutter at the thought of the most likely scenario. The sun was setting turning the sky into a cotton candy looking sky. What a beautiful sky for a stressful decision. 

Santana laid next to me on the grassy field of my backyard. It was a cotton candy color as the orange hue blended with the dreamy blue. 

I spent the week driving around with Santana. We would go exploring the small town in Lima or just drive around singing to random songs. 

We laid there in silence just staring up at the sky. She took my hand in hers intertwining them together. And in that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to feel something, anything. 

Anything besides this pit of loneliness. 

She turned her head towards mine. And in a beat her lips were on mine. It was soft at first yet passionate. Then the next thing I knew, clothes were flying off, and hands were roaming. 

2.) Y/N opens the door and sees me standing there. I apologize for everything, she leads me to our spot in the backyard. And kiss me in front of everyone. 

Yeah like that would ever fucking happen. 

I didn’t know what I was expecting when Y/N came back from Pennsylvania. After the many nights spent with Santana, I dropped her. Or well ghosted her I should say.

I didn’t answer her calls or her texts. I knew what I did was wrong and I decided to just end it before things could get any worse. 

Was it fucked up? 

Yes, but I did what I had to try and salvage what I had left in our relationship.

I thought I could get away with it too. Until the guilt started eating me alive. The pit in my stomach wasn’t loneliness, it was guilt. 

And then Santana told Brittany. Brittany told Artie. Artie told Tina. Tina told Mike. Mike told Puck. Puck told Mercedes. Mercedes told Kurt. Kurt told Blaine. Blaine told Rachel. Rachel told Finn. Finn told Sam. Then finally, Rachel told Y/N since no one else had the heart to. 

Y/N slammed my locker shut causing me to flinch back, “Tell me she’s lying.” she whispers, her voice breaking. 

“Who’s lying love? What happened?” I say attempting to take her in my arms, but she took a step back.

“Tell me that you didn’t hook up with Santana while I was gone. And that it’s some weird vendetta against you.” she whispers staring at me. 

I couldn’t lie to her anymore. It was killing me. I didn’t want to lie anymore. I just needed to tell her. 

I just stared at her desperately trying to find an explanation. Desperately trying to apologize and explain everything to her, but no words came out.

“Y/N-”

“You did didn’t you?” Y/N asked barely in a whisper.

I nodded sadly and a sob escaped her lips. 

“Y/N please let me-” I try to say and she shakes her head.

“No. We’re done Quinn!” she yells in between sobs running off. 

I looked up and found myself in front of Y/N’s house. 

I wasn’t trying to go here. I guess my feet just carried me here. The party was in full swing and through her window I could see her just sitting there, nursing a cup. 

Her favorite song was playing and she wasn’t dancing. She was just sitting there, trying to smile, but was struggling too. 

It hurt me, knowing that I’m the reason for her pain. 

I hesitantly knocked on the door and the door flung open. Y/N was standing there and she was shocked, but her eyes softened. But it didn’t matter anymore because she covered it up with a harder shell. 

She came out and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind her.

“Happy birthday.” I whisper.

She mumbles, “Thanks.” 

“Can we talk please?” I ask.

She was thinking about it. I could tell. Her eyes were furrowed and she was biting her lip. She looked in deep thought before nodding and leading me to the backyard garden.

There was a bench swing hanging from the trees. And we took a seat on there together. 

This is the spot. Our spot. 

We had our first kiss here. I asked her to be my girlfriend here. Everything happened right here. 

“Y/N I’m sorry. And before you say anything I know. I know sorry means nothing and it has no excuse for what I did. But I am so deeply sorry. I don’t know much and I don’t have much to say because I wasn’t expecting to come tonight But I do know that I miss you and you were the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I whisper letting all of the tears spill. 

She lets out a shaky sigh, “I know. I forgive you.” 

I smile softly and I try to lean in to kiss her, but she immediately pulls back. Leaving me embarrassed and heartbroken.

“Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean that I want to get back together. I know you know that what you did was wrong. And I trust you when you say that it wasn’t anything special. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I love you Quinn Fabray, but I just can’t do this right now.” she whispers back.

She begins to wipe away the tears from my cheeks. I took in a deep breath before embracing the feeling of her touch. Y/N closes her eyes and rests her forehead on top of mine. 

I cup her cheeks into my hands. My thumb trying to memorize all of the crevasse, cheek bones, every little feature. 

“I will always love you and maybe we’ll be together one day. Just not today.” she whispers pulling away and kissing my cheek softly, “Goodbye Quinn.” 

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Pheromones

Fandom: Mass Effect

Collection/Series: N/A

Pairing: Selene Shepard x Garrus Vakarian

Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff​ aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​

Rating: T - Suggestive themes but nothing NSFW

Warnings: N/A? I think (if i’m wrong let me know!)

Summary: Selene’s a little confused about something Javik says to her, she naturally asks her Turian boyfriend about it. 

Notes: Based off this conversation with Javik. I’ve never actually written Shakarian stuff in all my years of loving the ship. But, with Mass Effect: LE taking over my life, why not? 

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“So...Javik said something really...weird when I went to see him earlier.” 

It had been a long day; finding out Cerberus was turning people at Sanctuary into husks, seeing Miranda again, stopping her father from killing Oriana...it had taken a toll and then to come back and have a really bizarre conversation with their Prothean teammate? Well, Selene Shepard was glad to be back in a pair of yoga pants and a large jumper. 

If Selene was completely honest with herself she was exhausted. The war was taking its toll on her, all the responsibility that lay on her shoulders only seemed to be lightened by the support of her team and most importantly, Garrus. Her cybernetics had been bright and bold across her skin as of late, a sure sign that she was running out of steam. Despite the exhaustion, Javik's words weighed on her mind, confusing, curious and just a reminder of how alien he really was. 

Garrus came out of her, no, their shower, towel around his cowl, visor, no longer obscuring his face for once. God, it is so utterly domestic between the two of them now and something in her aches with the awareness that this might all be cut short, that domestic might never be a long term option for them. She hopes it will, hopes silently that they’ll get to retire somewhere, have a couple of kids, a varren or two, and life out their days into old age. 

“Weird? Weird to humans or...just weird?” The dual tone of his voice rings with curiosity. It had taken her two whole years of missions with him for her to actually get a good grasp on his subharmonics and even now there were things her weak human ears couldn’t quite pick up on, or even hear at all. 

She thought for a moment as Garrus sat down next to her on the bed, nuzzling his face between her shoulder and neck like he always did. It was something she’d taken as a turian sign of affection, the way his plates scratched at her skin and mandibles fluttered across her shoulder, she could only compare it to a human placing kisses down. A nuzzling that he never failed to do, whether they were standing and he had to bend over or they were sitting or lying down. 

Leaning into him with her eyes closed, she traces a hand across the plates on the back of his neck. “I...think it's just weird? He said he could tell we were ‘joined’ because of my...pheromones…” 

Garrus froze in his nuzzling, pulling back with his face plates drawn together, mandibles fluttering in confusion. “Well, yeah? I scent you all the time, been doing it since you agreed to be a one turian kind of woman. I thought...I mean I smell like you too…?”

“Scenting? I what?” Selene was decidedly confused, Garrus didn’t smell like her at all. In fact, the little scent that he had was of the more metallic and engine grease kind from spending all his time tinkering with things or modifying his sniper rifle. She certainly didn’t smell like him, not to her nose anyway. 

She pressed her face into his cowl and took a big, over exaggerated sniff. Nothing. He didn’t even smell like her shampoo or the jasmine soap she’d managed to find on the Citadel. Just...Garrus. 

Garrus chuckled, three fingered hand cupping her cheek, filed down talons grazing carefully across her skin to smooth out the furrow between her eyebrows.  

“Oh, right, you humans and your terrible sense of smell. Cute.” His grin flared his mandibles out wide, sharp teeth on show in a display of good humour.

“Garrus!” He liked getting a rise out of her, enjoyed seeing the pale skin of her cheeks turn as red as a Palaven sunset, something Turians just could not do. It was always so distinctly human, glaringly alien, but adorable. Not that many people would describe the Commander Shepard as adorable, but most people weren’t in a committed relationship with her...or he hoped most people weren’t. 

“Honey, it’s normal. We sleep together, we make love,” She groaned a little at the word choice as he returned to nuzzling underneath her neck, talons moving up and down her back in soothing motions, “we shower together, we go on every mission together, we spar together…” Selene can’t help the little moan that leaves her mouth as his breath warms across her skin before that tongue of his, blue and ridiculously dexterous, carves a path over her shoulder and up her throat, lingering on a spot behind her jaw that he knows all too well. 

“And turians are kind of known for scenting their partners.” 

“What does that even mean? Scenting? Like a cat? Are you marking your territory?” She’s never taken Garrus for being possessive, in fact, he was decidedly cool under pressure whenever someone decided to try it on with her. Occasionally he’d shift in a way that told people to back off, pressing his chest to her back, but that was only in instances where the person didn‘t know when to quit. Usually an overzealous asari or persistent human. The idea of him marking his territory, or even seeing her that way was kind of out of character to her, he just wasn’t like that. They were equals in everything they did. He was her person and she was his, one of them wasn’t more dominant in the relationship, they were partners. 

“Yes and no. You're not my territory, honey, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you're a one turian kind of woman, but I trust you and I know you can handle yourself. It’s a habit really, an instinct. I’m surprised you don’t know, you do it too.”

It’s a relief to hear him say that. While she finds Garrus ridiculously hot when he goes all bad boy vigilante turian on someone, the raw power he exudes is something else entirely, something different that starts a fire in her belly, she also doesn’t want to be seen as an object or possession. 

“I do?” They’ve gravitated, as they always do, towards each other. Selene finds herself curled up in Garrus’ lap, arms wrapped around his cowl and nose pressed to the junction of his neck, pressing light little kisses there had become a favourite pastime of hers. Calming, soothing. 

“Mmm...all the time, that little nuzzling thing you’re doing?” She pulls back, startled, eyebrows almost comically high and red still tinting her cheeks, “Yeah, I thought you were just a little possessive, but maybe this is one of those interspecies miscommunication things, huh?”  

“I...oh.” She curls back into his neck, bashful in a way no one else sees. Garrus enjoys seeing her like this, out of her element but trusting, seeking comfort in him even as he’s the source of her embarrassment. Their relationship is unconventional and with it has come embarrassment and nerves from both sides, but it’s the trust in him, and his trust in her that’s made it work, that makes it worthwhile. 

He runs his fingers through the red of her hair, the strands soft and silky, a sensation that he still finds fascinating all this time on and one that he knows she finds soothing. He can only compare it to how he feels when she caresses underneath his fringe. 

“So is that why that C-Sec officer stopped flirting with me every chance he got?” She thinks of the dark brown turian, bright orange markings across his face. Before she’d seen Garrus again, before they’d rekindled their relationship, he’d been determined to flirt with her, no matter how many times she politely turned him down. He’d since stopped, his tone always overly polite and formal, nervous even. She’d assumed Bailey had given him a dressing down, but...maybe not. 

“Mmm, probably.” His chest rumbles with the hum, soothing and deep, reverberations running through her, “Most turians aren’t going to flirt with a taken woman, ever seen two turians get into a proper fist fight? It’s more claws and teeth than anything else.” No turian wanted to get into a fight over someone they had a passing fancy for, that Garrus knew for a fact, best to leave someone alone if they were clearly in a relationship.

“Would you? If someone tried it on?” She’s curious, deeply so. Part of her wants to know he would, but part of her wants to know that he’d think about it, and take his time to decide if it was necessary. Garrus had always had a bit of a temper, quick and righteous and determined to put things right. But, he’d mellowed with age, with her nagging him and convincing him to spare people who’d wronged him and others. He was more calculating these days. 

“Depends.” A hand falls to her waist, circles being rubbed into the skin underneath her jumper, absent minded and soothing as his blue eyes look to the skylight above her bed, staring out at the stars. Contemplating his next words.

“On?” She leans up to press a kiss underneath his chin, the soft exposed skin tempting her.

“Do you want me to? How badly are they trying to get into your pants? Are you in danger? Do you need me to? Is it someone I know and despise?” His voice rumbles in his throat, she feels the vibrations against her lips and ringing through her ears. That was something about being with a turian that she loved, the subharmonics were soothing to her ear, the rumble that always seemed to roll through his body was comforting. She wouldn’t call it a purr, mostly because Garrus would fix her with that look, narrowed eyes, mandibles drawn tight against his face. He’d probably go back to calibrating the guns for a week or two straight. God, she hated that. 

“Are you telling me you wouldn’t fight for my honour?” She’s teasing him, but she can still feel him tense up. Her lack of subharmonics tended to confuse him whenever she joked and he couldn’t see her face. 

Taking pity on him Selene pulls back so he can see the amused little smirk that tugs at the corner of her mouth, freckles scrunching up across her cheeks and nose. 

“I...you’re messing with me aren’t you?” There’a a palpable sigh of relief from him as his shoulders relax and he rolls his neck before pinning her with a playful glare, huffing through his nose at her. He’s the only person she can truly be playful with and she knows he enjoys it, the closeness of their relationship isn’t lost on either of them. He makes her feel less tired, more alive, younger, even if it's for a brief moment before reality crashes back down again. 

“Yeah, just a little, big guy.” She tugs his face down gently by a scarred mandible, he follows easily, putting himself in reach so that she can press a kiss to his cheek, across the blue colony markings that are oh so familiar to her. Affection with Garrus is easy: “I love you, but I don’t need you tearing someone’s throat out for me...unless it’s Kai Leng, you can tear his throat out.” 

The assassin was a thorn in her side and she was close to snapping, her usual restraint and desire to talk things through was failing. She wouldn’t negotiate or talk with Kai Leng. If she finally got the chance...well, he probably wouldn’t be recognisable afterwards. 

“Oh, I'm tempted, believe me. There’s nothing I'd like more than to put every ounce of my anger and hatred into beating Kai Leng into a bloody pulp. Buuuut, I think you deserve the satisfaction yourself.”

“I love you, you know that right? Even if I'm walking around stinking like a turian vigilante.” She caresses the lengths of his crest and underneath, scratching short nails against the soft skin there and the purr, because it is a purr, that rumbles from his chest is almost as satisfying as the thought of finally getting revenge on Kai Leng.

“Reaper Advisor actually.” He brushes his cheek against hers, hard plates brushing against soft skin, gently, not hard enough to chafe or rub. “I love you too, even if I'm walking around stinking like a self-sacrificing human spectre.”

[justwonder113]

Hey first of all, I have to say that I adore your work. You have absolutely amazing fantasy and writing skill so I thought would u mind writing a scenario where Y/N and Iwaizumi have to break up even though they dont want it. I mean like they love each other but there are some circumstances that makes them to break up. Like I need a real angst without a happy ending.... I know I'm depressed.

First of all, thank you so much for requesting and saying all these sweet things. I would literally hug you if I saw you. Please note that you are an amazing human being and deserve all the best. Please take care of yourself. And whenever you feel like you want to talk to someone note that I'm always there for you.  I really hope you like it^^

Iwaizumi x Reader-Let's be greedy for tonight

word count"2k (my hands slipped)

WARNING: Angst, break-up themes, heartbreak, Iwa and reader break up because they have their own thing going on, pragmatic reader who's more mission oriented than emotional.. fluff if you squint

Honestly you didn't even understand how you got here. Everything was just fine few days ago. How did everything go to this? Where did everything take the wrong turn?

Just a few days ago you were comforting him because of the loss against Karasuno. You spent the whole night together just holding each other close but now.... It felt like that there was this huge gap between you and none of you knew how to get over it. This wasn't supposed to be a sad thing, both of you were supposed to be happy, wasn't this what you wanted?

You and Iwaizumi had one of the best relationships. He was the most amazing partner and companion you could ever ask for. He was the most supportive, loyal and kind person you have ever met. No wonder you fell for him even thought you were sure you wouldn't fall in love with anyone.

Honestly, you had nothing against love, but because you had set your priorities straight from the young age there was no physical room for it. You had your goals and you wanted to achieve them more than anything, you were determined to make your life as meaningful and as perfect as you could. Getting in a relationship would be nothing more than a distraction, it could ruin everything you worked so hard for up to this day and you were not willing to risk it.

Iwaizumi was on the same boat. He had his priorities straight and knew what he wanted in life and what was needed in order to achieve it. Especially now that he realized that in order to achieve his goals he needed to go to California to study. Your paths would part and there was no denying, both of you knew that long distance relationships didn't work and that it would only drag you down.

None of you planned to get in this relationship, both of you knew that this was inevitable. Both of you knew that you two were not meant to be.But why did it hurt so much? You knew that you would have to eventually break up with him, why did it hurt so much knowing that you could no longer see him, talk to him and hold him and be held by him?! Why did it hurt so much knowing that you would no longer have a chance to just be free with him? Why did he have to become your anchor? Why did he have to make you feel so good about everything?

You would never even think that you two would date. At first you were intimidated by him, he looked kind of hot headed and rough so you thought it would be better to avoid him. But as the time went by you got to know him more and more and started to respect him more and more. What was there not to respect and like? He was on top of everything and instead of being rough and all he was in fact really polite and a very caring person.

You got to know him more and more when you had to sit next to him after his seatmate asked to trade places with him because he couldn't see board well and you agreed. You rarely talked but you were on good grounds with him.

Your friendship deepened when he saw that you were having trouble understanding one of the subjects and spent most of his free time helping you understand it, you were sure he would stay for more but his friend, Oikawa interrupted you saying he had to come to practice. When Oikawa saw you he immediately bombarded you with all kinds of questions. You didn't get why got him interested but didn't say anything and tried to answer his questions, that day you got invited to attend one of their practices. Iwaizumi tried to explain that if you decided that you didn't want to it would be completely fine but you promised you would attend one of their practices for sure. Both of the boys smiled at you sweetly and them said their goodbyes. You didn't even know why you agreed, you just answered without even thinking.

Thinking about it the day you actually went and saw one of their practices may have been the day you started to see him in different light. They had a practice match against some college team, the game was so captivating you couldn't look away. And both Iwaizumi and Oikawa were so amazing! The whole team was really good but you didn't really know any other playing members, though some of the faces were familiar. You were sure that they were going to win but suddenly Oikawa's apparently injured knee started acting up, Iwaizumi was immediately by his side, you hadn't even noticed if anything was different but it certainly didn't pass by Iwaizumi's eyes. You were amazed that he saw the slightest change in his friend's demeanor and immediately called out to him. He helped him out of the court and bought to him water and cooling pads. You were watching with astonishment written all over your face.

Since that day you started talking to him more and more, at first you were asking how was Oikawa because you felt awkward that you didn't even knew how to approach him and start up conversations. You felt this sudden urge to talk to him all the times, you felt like knowing more and more about him, you just wanted to get close to him. You were trying so hard to get his attention. Thankfully you two got close to each other and started hanging out more and more. He would invite you to his practices and then would never fail to walk you home.

He was always willing to listen to anything you had to say, and was always there to support and be there for you. He remembered all the small things about you and always made sure you were feeling good first. You couldn't even count how many times and in how many ways he has helped you out. You just hoped you were for him the same way at least remotely close. He was like an iron wall, nothing seemed to get past him, he was always the strong one, the one in control, but he would sometimes let his guard down and let his true thoughts out. You knew it was hard to him, it was same to you. You just hoped you were helping him in any way whenever he opened up.

You actually got together on the beginning of your second year, when you got into an argument with him.  He was feeling extra grumpy and insecure after he saw that you were all friendly with Oikawa somehow and at some point he let out his biggest insecurity while grumbling and told you that you, like many others, only were with him to get close to Oikawa. When you asked why did he bring that he simply answered that all you did talk about was him and somehow it offend you so much you just looked at him for a second and next thing you know is that you're confessing while yelling that he's a dumbass that the only one you like is him.

That's how you came clean with your feelings both to yourself and Iwaizumi. The next five minutes were kind of really adorable and awkward as hell, well maybe four because first minute was definitely spent on making out with each other. And damn your first kiss would be memorable as hell.

Looking back on everything you went through all these almost two years you were devastated that you had to leave each other. And it devastated you that after all these both of you had trouble even speaking to each other. It's been an hour and neither of you had said anything. You just lied there in complete silence, just your fingers barely grazing each other from time to time. You knew one of you had to break the silence, one of you had to say anything.

"I'm leaving in two days, I packed most of the things I will just have to go over some stuff tomorrow." Iwaizumi sighed as he massaged the bridge of his nose. This was the first thing he has said since forever. You turned to him to admire him for the last time. Were you going to be fine without him? Lately everything was so blurry in your life, you were not sure if you knew everything was worth it anymore.

You broke the silence and decided to come clean"I'm proud of you, I want you to know that. I'm sad that we have to break up, even though I really didn't plan it I'm in love with you, deeply, but I'm also so proud and happy for you. You're going to do amazing things in life I just know it. Don't be sad about the break up, we knew what we were getting at when we started going out... I don't want to let go but you know it's for better." You smiled at him and put your hand on top of his and he held it so tightly it made you feel at ease.

Iwaizumi straightened up and hugged you tight snuggling his face against your neck. "Thanks love, I really needed to hear that." He took a deep breath, "I don't want to break up with you too. I really love you. You have been the most amazing partner I could ever ask for. I know I'm no good with words and forgive me if I sound too cliche, but damn I am as sure that you will achieve everything you set your eyes on, as a fact that the sky is blue. You're most determined and hardworking person I have ever met, and it pains me that you don't see all these amazing stuff about yourself. You're amazing, you're strong, beautiful and really intelligent. Don't forget it just because I won't be able to remind you it as often as possible." He kissed your neck lighly.

You let out a quiet huff of laugher and snuggled better against him, you could feel your eyes watering up. "That's quite hypocrite of you Iwa, I can tell you the same you know. You need to see more that you're just as amazing and competent if not more. Promise that you won't forgetting either." You whispered quietly.

"I promise. God I'm going to miss you so much!" If it were possible he bought you even closer and started peppering your face with kisses making you giggle.

"God you're getting so sappy, I'm barely recognizing you." You teased which resulted in you getting pinched on sides.

"I'm not the one crying." He said without even missing a beat.

"My eyes are just misty, don't flatter yourself." You lied but was there a point the tears were streaming down on your face.

"Oh shut up smartass." He rolled his eyes making you smirk.

"Make me!" He grumbled and sealed your lips in a kiss, making you shut up and melt against him in a second. The kiss was passionate, full of love and desperate at the same time. Your lips spoke all the words you couldn't pronounce for you, and it bought momentary comfort to both of you, you were terrified of when you had to pull back and face reality again.

"Can you stay with me tonight? I don't think I'm ready to let go yet. I want to be greedy and hold you like you're still mine, it's dumb I know it will only hurt me more but please," You mumbled against his lips, drunk with the pleasure, he only nodded and continued kissing you."

That night you lied in each others arms, feeling content and terrified of the tommorrow. Neither of you let go of the other for the whole night, afraid to lose the other. Maybe the novels were right and you also were lovers who were right for each other and maybe there was a possibility of soulmates existing but unfortunately for you it wasn't a good time. And when the sun would rise everything would end, your perfect paradise would disappear and you would have to start a new page of your life.

Maybe you would meet in the future and maybe there was a tiny possibility that both of you could hit it off then the time was better and both of you were at least merely satisfied with your achievements in life. But you were not naive enough to hope on that. Both of you knew that you would have to let go of each other but now you were feeling greedy and wanted to make your last nigh with him being completely engulfed in each other. Just for tonight you would be greedy and selfish just so you could feel at least a bit more at ease before completely breaking your heart.

So this is it love I really hope you will like it, feel free to tell me if you have another request or just talk lol. Tell me if you have any comments about it or would like to change anything about it too.

Lots of love and please take care of yourself!!!

PS, I didn’t really proof read it so if there’s any mistakes please bare with me I will edit it as soon as I can^^