#my parents' friends are LOUD
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#Byler#Stranger Things#Mike Wheeler#Will Byers#Fanart#Byler Fanart#My brain is MUSH#it's 0:18 AM rn and since there's still a birthday party downstairs I won't be able to sleep for at least another hour#my parents' friends are LOUD#anyways#byler ftw#soso stop drawing will with sunflowers challenge failed again#FluffyFangirlArt#literal no thoughts head empty only byler
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it’s about old friends. all of it.
#talking to my friend for hours and just catching up and having a laugh like that’s what life is all about!!!!#actually talking about serious things out loud to another human being whom you love and trust and whom loves and supports you and offers gen#genuine advice is so freeing. like am I still scared to tell my parents about these thoughts? yes but everything seems that much easier now
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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things get better. my best friend in the world got top surgery after us talking about it for years. i'm getting mine next year. i have genuine friends now who teach me everyday what love looks like. love looks like going to an arcade and talking for hours at the bar instead. love looks like planning road trips to our hometowns. love looks like choosing our regalia colors together. love looks like learning our language. love looks like compression binders. love looks like top surgery scars. love looks like sweet grass tattoos.
things get better.
#i just remember being a kid and trying to picture my future and coming up blank#never thought I'd have friends who invitr me to shows and genuinely excited to introduce me#I've got this great friend i met at work and she's so fucking awesome!#the exact girl I'd see as a kid and was like god i wanna know her i wanna be her friend#and everytime we talk it's like light casting both ways#im so thankful for my family#im so thankful for my uncle who tells me so many funny stories#for all the endless conversations. for teaching me about our people. telling me about where we come from. feeding me spaghetti after sweat#holding my earrings at the powwow. im thankful for my cousins and their loud beautiful laughter#and for finally fucking accepting that my parents not wanting to be apart of my life doesn't mean I can't live it#wado to friends and family#and actually looking forward to the future now ❤️#vent
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#mlp#spacie spoinks#bruisecrew parent is me btw skjfskjdfsdf#the mwahster is dool my good friend dool#anyways this was really funny 2 me okay bye school and this epic fucking bunger awaitss#im so hunfry#I LUAGHED OUT LOUD#AJKFSHJFHKSJDF
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Xenoblade 3 artbook is crazy because on the one hand you've got really cool lore drops or info that makes the vision clearer.
And on the other I've got the mental image of Vandam Xenoblade 2 teaching Mythra the secret to getting a trans girl pregnant.
#Xenoblade#Xenoblade 3#Xenoblade Spoilers#Nia#Mio#Mythra#seriously funny to me that there was a debate in my friend group when i brought up Sena's parents likely being Mòrag and Brighid#if i said my thoughts about the situationship between Rex Pyra Mythra and Nia out loud my bi guy friend would explode#like how else are you meant to take Mio pneuma core crystal concept art#your honour Nia and Mythra fucked nasty and i can prove it
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also i Know my experiences aren't universal but the annoying part of my brain is like Well they should be. like i'm an only child and didn't have any cousins till i was 14 so i didn't really socialize w kids (i went to school and daycare but i was a weirdo). and i was pretty quiet and loved just sitting and silently reading, to the point i preferred it over playing; in kindergarten i would lie about needing to use the bathroom during recess so i could go inside, but then i'd just read. and even now, despite knowing and understanding how illogical it is, i have the same thoughts i did as a kid and i'm like. why is everyone so goddamn loud. why can't we just sit and read in silence
#like. when im near my parents friends kids theyre so loud#and i don't get why they aren't freak asses like baby mo was. why are you guys being normal kids instead of little robot dolls
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Overstimulated and depressive at the Easily-Palatable Pride™️ event, how is everyone else doing??
#why is everything so loud and also I embarrassed myself#so therefor the brain worms are telling me I should die :D (/dramatic)#we’re at the event because my brothers friend is a lesbian and her parents are homophobic#so we lied and said we were going to the arcade but we’re actually here for her to experience it#sitting on a curb outside of the event boundaries so that the music isn’t horribly loud#also the police are here to pretend they’re supportive so that’s a whole other thing#> hey cecil says a thing! <
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I want a church community 😭
#robin processes emotions on main#I've stumbled and fallen and been lying limp in the mud 😭#I don't have a church community. I have my parents' church but I'm not really part of that. I have a church for the college year#but I'm not really part of that either#it's just so big and loud and I'm overwhelmed and don't know anyone and can't hardly speak when it's so LOUD#and all churches are like that!!! what am I to do!!! how do you turn Ordeal Every Week (Alone With Strangers) into Faith Family!!!#I CAN'T I don't have TIME to build new significant relationships I don't know how to MAKE time#but I feel like I have to but AAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭#I haven't even gone to church for the past two weeks#I have no stable faith community other than my friends and that's IMPORTANT and GOOD but it's not enough#I want stability in physical community#and I don't know if I can DO that this year#hhhhhhg#pray for me please and if you have words of advice or encouragement I would love to hear them
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Also I want to mention that like a learned behavior I got from my parents growing up in the 2000s is that they would gift all the people they didn't like toasters for their weddings or like
These things in varying shapes because they're objectively useless and just about everyone already has a toaster, but they could gaslight them and be like "I thought this was on your registry" and it met my parent's minimum gift rule for weddings and baby showers, which was "must be at least twenty dollars or passable as being conceivably worth twenty dollars."
And despite inflation, I too follow that rule for people I don't like.
The only difference is that sometimes to be a massive asshole I get the character toasters that brand Darth Vader or some other bullshit into your bread as a form of passive punishment.
#also my parents had a gift closet of shit they would get on black friday for weddings#and like the birthday parties of children they werent sure we even liked or knew#it also included really crappy boardgames and the lowest tier of character notebooks#occasionally they would get extraordinarily loud baby toys for baby showers of coworkers#but for our actual friends we went and picked out something#and for baby showers of people they liked it was diapers of varying sizes occasionally made into diaper cakes#because diapers and formula were like the best gifts according to my parents
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Luzu: Quackity m’hijo
During Thursday’s event, Luzu accidentally called his son Ollie “Quackity” and got teased by Lana (his wife), but afterwards he said “Quackity is my son” while smiling 🥺
#Karmaland#Luzu#Quackity#This was genuinely SO cute I gasped so loud when I saw this 🥺#Lana saying ''Too much Quackity on your mind!'' made me crack up#It's so sweet that Quackity and Luzu have become such good friends#but also it's frickin adorable that Quackity's being his chaotic self and Luzu's like [harassed parent voice] QUACKITY PLEASE#very interesting contrast to the characters they play considering. Well. Y'know#oh my gosh though I can't believe he called Ollie Quackity#AND HE SAID QUACKITY'S HIS SON....WAH....#congrats on the new father Quackity#also my condolences Luzu you''re so lucky he didn't hear you say this#Quackity would either A) be a complete menace about this and tease him#or B) he'd be really flattered and touched (and then still tease him)#Also:#I think this goes without saying but don't be weird about this in the comments or tags#Ollie
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if I had a place of my own again you bet I will bombard all the people I love with requests and offers to come over and hang out. Cook, bake, watch movies or shows together, have sleepovers if the work schedules align, arts n crafts while sharing space, cuddle and nap piles if the fancy strikes. the whole 9 yards.
sucks that I can't do that rn...
#living in a tiny room in your parents' house is not conducive to inviting your friends over as an adult...#can't use the kitchen can't obstruct the bath for longer than necessary only have my tiny room to hang out in#i myself don't really feel safe or at home here so i wouldn't want to put that on anyone else. the constantly being on edge. always vigilant#not taking up too much space or being too loud#making myself not exist. basically. anyway
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@via-the-cryptid YOU DONNT GET TO DO THIS TO ME!!!!
I JUST WANT TO GIVE HER A HUG!! and YOU INFLICT ANGST UPON THE CHILD??
jail for Via! jail for Via for one thousand years!
#under another sun fanart#my art#rottmnt#i know its sketchy but i needed to post this before i lost the driving emotions#Leo was given the energy of being at a friends house when your friends parents start arguing really loud#just- Leo must be experianceing the weirdest emotions right now.
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And on a random Monday, I graduated.
#just like that#there was a whole ceremony and my parents came it was fun#my supervisor made a joke about my friends and i working together and being loud#thesquidkid
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i promised not to have more long WIPs but oh my god i'm surrounded by ENABLERS. i'm outlining </3 i'm making a playlist </3 i'm fucked </3 chaptered fic in september maybe
#lou is loud#came up with the idea of a phanfic based off a traumatic experience in my best friend's childhood and half expected them to be like omg no#that would be so fucked up#unfortunately i have never met anyone who matched my freak so well. they said nooooo it would be so good though#and they're RIGHT. i just gave dan a fuckton of my childhood trauma and it feels sooooo good#writing updates#not sure how many details i want to share rn because still very early stages#but if you hate your parents and love projecting onto dan: this is the fic for you <3#phan#childhood trauma au
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I want to ask my friends very deep and substantial questions because all of my friendships feel so superficial (on my end specifically) right now and I want them to be deeper.
#air's antics#I'll make a list LMAO#I want to know people#I want that kind of platonic intimacy#because bonding over fandoms that die is one thing#but knowing someone and maintaining that bond past mutual interests is another#I had mentioned to my therapist at one point that I didn't want my parents to know me#And I think that has extended to my friendships now#Like do my friends know ME or do they know a shell?#Like do you actually know my favorite color or is it my favorite color because people expect it to be?#You know?#Shit like that LOL#don't even get me started on how distrusting I have become#I don't even trust my therapist#LIke bro?????????????????????????????????????????????????#can you CHILL Air can you open up to someone eventually??#😂😂#I'm so sorry if any of you have tried to or want to get closer to me#I am currently making that impossible :' )#But please know that I AM trying.#I'm pretty resilient though like it's a miracle I still laugh#Despite the numerous times I am told that my laugh is too loud and hurts my mom's ears lmao#I think she just hates my laugh tbh#And I kinda do too but well it's the way I laugh //shrugs
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