#my parents are literally actively ruining their relationship with my brother and i feel like i’m in the middle | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

petersasteria · 4 years ago

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Marriage - Tom Holland

Pairing: Doctor!Tom x Lawyer!Reader Requested? Nah 7,630 words TW; character death, very angsty as usual, an unusual ending

The one is bold is the question from the activity.

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It was 7 o’clock in the morning and everyone in your house was busy. Tom, your husband, was checking your kids’ backpacks while you made sure your kids ate breakfast. They were invited by Mr. and Mrs. Bergstein on a camping trip with their kids. Of course, you and Tom happily agreed. It’d be nice to take a break from the kids just this once. You and Tom didn’t worry too much about them because your kids are 10 and 8 years old. Both of them are boys and you wanted to try for a little girl this time. Only, there was one problem.

“Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Bergstein are here! It’s time to go!” Tom shouted from the living room after checking from the window. Your sons, Jacob and Mason, immediately got up from their seats and ran out of the house.

“You didn’t drink anything, Jacob!” You shouted from the dining area. Jacob quickly came back and finished his full glass of orange juice. You smiled at him as you wiped his mouth. You kissed the top of his head and said, “Behave, okay? Take care of your little brother, but most of all, have fun! I’ll call you guys every night.”

“Okay, mum. I love you!” Jacob smiled before leaving again. You and Tom followed behind him as you waved at them from the front door.

“Bye, kids!” Tom shouted with a smile on his face as he waved with his other arm wrapped around your shoulder. You and Tom watched as the kids waved from inside the car.

“I can’t believe you didn’t have the decency to pack their things last night. Do you know how tired I am?!” Tom quietly said while smiling at the kids.

“I can’t believe you’re complaining! You don’t even help around the house and the one time I ask you to do something, you’re pissed? How fucking dare you!” You said, the same way as Tom. You didn’t want the kids to see you fighting.

The Bergsteins drove away and as soon as they did, you shrugged off Tom’s arm around your shoulder and went inside without another word. Tom followed and slammed the door when he got in.

“You’re such a bitch, you know that?” Tom said angrily.

“You’re such an asshole, you know that?” You mimicked. “I fucking hate you! The only good things you gave me were Jacob and Mason! Other than those two, all you gave me were headaches and your whining! News flash: when you whine and complain, NOTHING CHANGES AND NOTHING GETS DONE.”

“Well, I’m sorry for making you so fucking upset! I’m sorry that I have a job that’s always stressing me out and I’m sorry that I don’t have time for everything and everyone in this house!” Tom shouted.

“Oh, please! I know how you fucking feel because I’m a lawyer and the cases I handle are so out of this fucking world and it adds to my problems! You and I aren’t so different in terms of having a busy work life, but I make time to do my part as a wife and a mother!” You hissed.

That was the problem. Both of you hated each other’s guts. You don’t know when it started and despite everything, you and Tom agreed that Mason was definitely the result of angry sex. In fact, that was the last intimate moment you had together. After having Mason, yours and Tom’s love life just went downhill. You loved your kids, but you weren’t sure if you loved each other anymore. For the first time in 14 years, you and Tom questioned your relationship.

You and Tom have been together since you were 16. You got married at 23, had Jacob at 24 and had Mason at 26. Now you and Tom are 34 years old and both of you can’t be bothered to make a third child. In Tom’s words, ‘FUCK THAT SHIT.’

“Are you saying that I’m not doing my part as a husband and as a father?!” Tom shouted.

“Yeah!”

“I provide for this family!”

“I provide for this family too and I’m so tired goddammit!” You yelled before retreating to your shared bedroom. Tom watched in anger and shouted, “I hate you!”

“The feeling’s mutual!” You shouted back before grabbing your work clothes and entering your en suite bathroom.

Tom scoffed and asked the maid to clean up in the dining room. It was his day off today and he didn’t want to do anything for the whole day. He just wanted to relax, but that was ruined when you asked him to pack the kids’ bags for a camping trip with the Bergsteins.

Half an hour later, you went down already ready for work. You were putting an earring on when you looked at Tom to find him watching golf on TV.

“I’m off to work now.” You said.

“Good riddance! At least no one’s going to boss me around.” Tom rolled his eyes as he said that without leaving his gaze from the television. What he said made your blood boil, but you didn’t say anything. You had to go to court today and you refused to let your emotions and personal problems get in the way of an important case. So you put your heels on, grabbed your things, and left without another word.

When you left, Tom looked at the door and sighed. Regardless of the constant arguing, Tom hated it when you argued. He hated all the fights, he hated the fact that you slept next to each other but turned on opposite sides, he hated not exchanging I love you’s anymore, he hated being angry all the time, but most of all, he hated not being partners in crime anymore. A few weeks ago, you told him to just leave. He didn’t because he made a vow to stay with you through thick and thin.

You hated fighting too and if you were being honest, you didn’t know what happened. It just started going downhill. There was no doubt that you loved Tom and he loved you, but sometimes things just don’t work out between two people who loved each other since they were 16.

Work was tiring as always and as if work wasn’t tiring enough, Tom texted you and said that your parents were trying to contact you, but for some reason couldn’t get a hold of you so they called Tom instead. Apparently, your parents made reservations at a restaurant for dinner and they realized that they couldn’t make it. They didn’t want to cancel because they would be asked to pay a cancellation fee. Your parents want you and Tom to take the reservation instead.

Upon reading Tom’s message, you called him and he answered immediately. “What did you tell them?” You asked Tom as soon as he answered. You were walking to your car while trying to find your car keys.

“Hello to you too, darling.” He said sarcastically and you could imagine him rolling his eyes. “I told them that we’d go. I’m already dressed and I’m literally on my way out the house.”

You found your keys and sighed before unlocking your car. “Fine. How will you go there? Do you want me to pick you up? Or will you take a cab?”

“I’ll just take a cab. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you, Y/N. I’m sure having dinner with me is at the bottom of your list, but I love your parents too much to say no.” Tom hissed as he walked out of the house.

“I didn’t mean it that way, alright?! I’m just tired. I’ll see you at the restaurant.” You said as you put your things in the backseat of your car.

“Bye.” Tom said before hanging up. You tossed your phone on the passenger seat before getting in and driving to the restaurant. When you parked the car, you quickly fixed your appearance and practiced a smile before grabbing your phone and bag before getting out of the car and locking it.

Tom got there first and he was already munching on the free bread and sipping wine. He saw you and lazily waved you over. You walked towards him and sat across.

“Have you ordered?” You asked and he shook his head.

“I was waiting for you.” He replied with his mouthful which made you roll your eyes. “Can you stop being a pig for once?” You whispered.

Tom rolled his eyes, took a sip of wine, and swallowed his food. “Can you give me a break? Today’s the day when I don’t handle a patient’s death or sickness or check up or anything else. Let me be human and forget a few manners, alright? It’s not like I’ll die if I talk with my mouth full.”

“Yeah, but you could choke on it.” You explained.

“Oooh, kinky.” Tom said sarcastically.

The waitress came and handed your menus before leaving again. The waitress was your saving grace and you were happy that you could pay attention to the menu and not Tom. You honestly couldn’t deal with him at the moment. After five minutes of scanning the menu, both of you called for the waitress and gave her your orders. The waitress immediately left after taking your orders and you and Tom were silent.

Tom coughed awkwardly, “How was work?”

“Stressful and I have to be in court again tomorrow.” You told him.

“The pro bono case?” Tom asked.

You nodded, “The pro bono case. I genuinely feel bad for my client and I hope I win this one for him.”

“What’s his case?” Tom asked. For the first time in forever, both of you were normal, functioning human beings.

“His daughter got taken away from him simply because everyone said that he has the mental capacity of a 7-year-old and that his daughter is already becoming smarter than him. His daughter’s teacher also said that they think she’s holding back from learning all because of her father. They’re bullshitting, I swear.” You answered before grabbing a piece of bread and scarfing down on it as if you haven’t eaten in days.

“Well, do you?”

“Do I what?” You asked after swallowing the bread.

“Do you think he has the mental capacity of a 7-year-old?” Tom asked. The waitress arrived with your food and you thanked her. Tom poured you a glass of wine for you to drink and you took a sip before answering.

“No.” You shook your head. “He has autism, but I think he’s very capable of being a parent. Hell, he’s been raising the kid alone for seven years, so why do they all doubt him now? It just makes me so angry that they think that way.”

The dinner went surprisingly well and Tom even offered to pay for the bill. You were happy that both of you were functional human beings again and you didn’t fight anymore even when you arrived home. You even got to cuddle up to him when you laid in bed and he kissed the top of your head.

“Oh shit.” You said suddenly.

“What?”

“We forgot to call the kids.”

“Oh shit.” Tom sighed. “Let’s just give them a quick call now. I’m sure they’re tired.”

You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and quickly pressed Jacob’s contact to call him. His phone rang as you put it on speaker and he answered after the third ring.

“Hi, mum!” Jacob said from the other line. “Mason, come say hi to mum.”

“Hi, mum!” Mason greeted.

“Hey kids!” You smiled. “Your dad’s here too. Say hi to your dad.”

“Hi, dad!” The two said at the same time.

“Hey, boys! We miss you already.” Tom said. “What did you guys do today?”

“We went fishing!” Mason said cheerfully. “Yeah, and we had smores. It was delicious!” Jacob added with a small giggle which made your heart swell and forget your problems. You really loved your kids and you would do anything and everything for them.

You spent the rest of the night talking to your kids and it felt like nothing was wrong anymore. But of course, you knew it was temporary. You knew better than to keep your hopes up. You knew that when you wake up in the morning, Tom would already be ready for work and say the coldest ‘goodbye’ to you as if you didn’t cuddle at all the night before.

You were right. Except this time, he added a small ‘good luck in court today’ which made you smile a bit before waving goodbye to him.

You sighed to yourself as soon as he left before getting ready for the day. You wished you could go back in time to where this coldness and the arguments began because you had no clue how to fix it now. You couldn’t blame Tom and you didn’t blame yourself and you most certainly didn’t blame your kids. It’s hard to solve a case when you can’t even solve your own problems at home.

Two days later, Jacob and Mason are finally back from the camping trip and you can’t wait to spend time with them. You missed them dearly. You took a day off to be with them and as much as Tom wanted to go, he had an emergency to tend to at the hospital.

“Hi!” You greeted as soon as you saw your kids get out of the car. They ran up to you and you hugged them tightly as you kissed the top of their heads. Your sons were yours and Tom’s pride and joy. They were your angels.

You pulled away from them and thanked the Bergsteins for the camping trip before waving them goodbye as they drove away. You three went inside and helped them unpack their things as they told you stories of what happened.

Since you didn’t go to work today, you knew you had to make up for it. So after dinner and after readying the kids for bed, you went to your home office and started working. Tom came home an hour later. He took off his coat and took his shoes off as the maid reheated the dinner that was left for him. He went into the dining room and thanked her before loosening his tie and eating.

No one noticed it, but he was tired. He wished he could quit his job, but he knew that if he did that, he’d be very unhappy. Being a doctor has been his dream for so long and he wasn’t going to give that up. It was his passion and he loved it. He loved seeing happy patients getting out of the hospital, he loved seeing his fellow doctors telling patients that they’re cancer free, he loved seeing a patient’s loved ones visiting with balloons and flowers. It’s true what people say, you really see true emotions in either a hospital or airport. Mostly in a hospital.

Tom rubbed the sleep off his eyes before quickly finishing his food. He just remembered Jacob and Mason were already home and he wanted to see them. Tom loved his sons and he would do everything to make them happy and protected. He loved his little family and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

He got out of his seat, washed the plate and utensils he used, dried and put them back before going to his sons’ shared room. He gently knocked on the door before entering. He silently hoped that they were awake so he could hear about the things they did in their trip because he knew that he’d have to wake up at 4AM and do the same routine again. He wanted to catch up with his kids because he feels like he’s been missing out a lot and he hated that. He swore to himself that he’d become the best father for them and that included hearing them out no matter what it was they wanted to say.

He opened the door and saw them half-asleep watching something on Netflix. He smiled at the sight and said softly, “Hey, guys.”

Jacob and Mason turned to face the door and smiled brightly when they saw their father. Tom grinned as he walked in and quietly closed the door. The kids ran up to him and gave him a big hug which Tom returned. His sorrows were washed away and it hurts to admit that when his two boys will be teenagers, they wouldn’t want to hug their dad anymore. Right now, he’s cherishing it before they turn into monstrous rebels that sneak out to party. Although, he hoped his boys wouldn’t be like that.

Tom kissed their foreheads before sitting on the large beanbag as the kids sat on his lap. “Tell me all about your camping trip. Was it fun? Did you see bears?”

“I saw an eel and Eli caught a fish!” Mason exclaimed as he excitedly told the story. Eli was the Bergsteins’ youngest son. He’s the same age as Mason.

“Wow! Really? Did you catch a fish?” Tom asked him and Mason shook his head. Mason didn’t seem bothered about it, though. “I saw a butterfly and a caterpillar. They were beautiful like mum.” Mason smiled as Tom nodded and brushed the hair off of Mason’s face.

“Yes, your mum is very beautiful.” Tom smiled. Jacob watched the interaction between his little brother and his father and he was slightly jealous that Mason got his parents’ attention. He knew that the love was equal, but he just didn’t see it that way. Jacob loved his brother and he would do anything to protect him, but sometimes he wished his parents would realize that he’s their son too and he needed attention just as much as Mason.

Mason is the exact definition of a ball of sunshine. He always saw the good in people and he stopped fights in school because he hated it when people fight. It pained him to see you and Tom fighting even though you hid it from him and Jacob, he could still hear it and he could sense when something’s wrong. He was a peacemaker and he loved nature. In fact, you and Tom decided to have a small garden corner for Mason in the backyard. Mason was often teased in school for being effeminate and Jacob would always defend him. It broke Jacob’s heart to see that his precious little brother is being teased for being who he is.

Mason loved flowers. He didn’t have a favorite and if you ask him, his answer changes every time. Despite his different answers, you, Tom, and Jacob thought each thought about different flowers that suit him. To Jacob, the flower that suited Mason best is zinnia because it means goodness and to him, it definitely described Mason. To Tom, Mason suited a chrysanthemum because it means cheerfulness and positivity and it truly defined Mason. To you, he suited a baby’s breath because it means innocence, love, purity, and sincerity.

In truth, all of those flowers suited Mason. That’s why you and Tom fought when trying to decide the kind of flowers to get for Mason’s funeral.

It all happened so fast.

Knowing his love for nature, you and Tom took the kids to a nature park for Mason’s 9th birthday. You knew he would appreciate it and you knew he wanted to spend time with his family on his special day. So, you and Tom organized it, surprisingly, without fighting.

You went to the park and there was a lake there where everyone could swim. It was a little pricey, but you and Tom thought that it was okay to spend a little over the budget for the kids to swim. So, you all swam.

When it was time to get out of the water, you noticed that only Jacob got out. Mason was nowhere to be found. That made you panic.

“Jake,” You called your eldest son. Jake was his nickname. “Where’s your brother?” Upon hearing your question, Tom stopped packing your things and went over to you and Jacob.

“What’s going on?” Tom asked as he dried his hair with a towel.

“Mason’s missing.” You said in panic. You had a bad feeling and you guessed that it was your maternal instincts kicking in. “I don’t like this one bit, T. I feel like something bad just happened.”

Tom turned to Jacob and asked, “Where’s Mason?”

“I don’t know.” Jacob shrugged. “We were playing and I never saw him again. Should I go back in the wa-”

“No!” You said loudly, cutting him off. “Don’t go back in there. It’s dangerous.”

“I’ll go look for a lifeguard or something. Stay here.” Tom said sternly, going into full dad mode before running to immediately find someone who could help. Not even a minute later, he comes back with the nature park’s rescue team as they search for Mason in the lake. Tom went with them as you stayed with Jacob.

“Will Mason be okay?” Jacob asked, his eyes full of worry as they stared back at you. You gave him a small smile and said, “Yes, he’ll be okay. They’ll find him. I know they will.” Jacob nodded and you engulfed him in an embrace as he sat on your lap. In truth, you didn’t know what to do. Your mind was thinking of so many things at once and your heart was racing.

An hour later, Tom and the rescue team come back with Mason’s cold body. His lips were pale and judging by the look on Tom’s face, Mason needs to be in the hospital as soon as possible.

“They called an ambulance already and they should be here by now.” Tom told you. “I’ll go with them and you and Jacob can follow.”

“Okay.” You cried. The three of you quickly changed into dry clothing, grabbed your things and went to the front of the nature park where the ambulance was waiting. Mason was quickly brought inside the ambulance while Tom followed suit.

“Just follow the ambulance!” Tom called out to you before the paramedic got in and closed the door. Your body ran on autopilot. You hurriedly stuffed your things in the backseat of your car before getting in with Jacob. You pulled out the parking lot and quickly drove to catch up with the ambulance.

Tom arrived at the hospital first and Mason was brought to the emergency room. Tom waited outside and after a few minutes, a doctor told Tom that Mason was dead on arrival. It was heartbreaking. As a doctor himself, Tom had his fair share of telling families that their loved one has passed. He just didn’t expect that he’d be the receiving end of it and it shattered him. When you and Jacob arrived, Tom broke the news to you and you let out the most painful cry. Jacob cried too. Jacob blamed himself for Mason’s death, but you and Tom assured him that it was no one’s fault.

Today’s the funeral and you were arguing with Tom. You were in the anger stage of grieving and it broke Jacob’s heart seeing you two fight.

“I want the baby’s breath flowers for him to hold in the coffin!” You shouted.

“Well, I want the chrysanthemum!” Tom yelled. “That’s final!”

“You can’t just decide what’s final and what isn’t! I’m his parent too, in case you forgot!” You angrily shouted as you stood in front of Tom. Tom was about to yell, but Jacob beat him to it.

“Stop fighting!” Jacob cried, causing both of you to face him. “Mason would hate both of you for fighting right now! He seriously would! Can you guys just compromise? I understand that you guys are very sad and I’m sad too. But we have to go now and let’s just agree that Mason can hold all of the flowers we got him. He loves them all, anyway.”

Yours and Tom’s heart broke seeing Jacob cry and you felt so bad that you forgot all about him. You knew Tom forgot about him too. Tom looked at you and nodded, “He’s right.”

You nodded and said, “Okay. Jake, we’re sorry.”

“Let’s just go.” Jacob said as he walked out of the house.

The funeral was short and simple. You three got to see Mason one last time as you all put the flowers in Mason’s hands. They closed the coffin and lowered it down six feet under. You will never get over the pain of burying your son; your youngest. Things will never be the same again.

After the funeral, you and Tom were back to your fighting routines. Jacob didn’t have the energy to stop you guys anymore. In fact, you were so busy fighting and working that you didn’t notice Jacob anymore. You never went to his room because it hurts too much knowing that Mason stayed there too. What you didn’t realize was Jacob’s pain. It hurt him to sleep in the room he once shared with his brother. It hurt him to not hear Mason’s voice not calling his attention when he wanted a midnight snack. It hurt him to lose his number one partner in crime.

A few months later, it’s Tom’s parents’ wedding anniversary party. Things have already been downhill by that time and Jacob wasn’t talking to both of you at all and that worried you and Tom.

You arrived at Tom’s childhood home because that’s where the party was being held and after Tom parked the car, all of you got out of the car. Tom locked it and entered the house first with you and Jacob behind him.

“Tom!” Nikki smiled as she walked towards him and kissed his cheek before giving him a warm embrace. She turned to you and did the same. “How are you?” She asked.

“I’m doing better.” You smiled as you put your hands on Jacob’s shoulders. Nikki smiled and turned to Jacob, “How are you, young man?”

“Fine.” Jacob said.

“How’s football?” Nikki asked him again, hoping to get an elaborate answer. She missed the 10-year-old boy who resembled Tom.

“I quit a few weeks ago.” Jacob said as he shrugged off your hands and went to his uncles. You sighed and Tom shook his head upon seeing that.

“I’m sorry about that, Nikki.” You apologized and she waved you off saying it was nothing. She said that Jacob was probably just upset about something and that he’ll come around soon. “I hope that’s true.” You told her.

“It’ll pass. Don’t worry about it.” Nikki assured you.

The party began and everyone was having fun. You went to the kitchen to get yourself a drink and on the way there, you saw Tom and his ex talking and laughing. You knew it meant nothing and you knew it was ridiculous to be jealous of his ex especially because he chose you in the end, but you couldn’t help it.

Forgetting about your drink, you walked up to them and cleared your throat. “Tom, can you help me with the drinks in the kitchen?” You asked sweetly.

“Okay.” He said, before excusing himself from his ex. They were still friends and their breakup was mutual. Tom didn’t have feelings for her anymore and he loved you despite the hardships and fights.

You went to the kitchen and Tom trailed behind you. You turned to face him and he immediately asked, “Okay, what’s wrong? I know you don’t need help with drinks.”

He knew you too well.

“How’s your ex?” You asked with your arms crossed. Tom groaned. “No, tell me. How is she? What did she tell you that was so funny? If you find her so amusing, why don’t you just date her? Oh, no you can’t because you’re married to me!”

“I fucking knew it!” Tom raised his voice, causing the people in the house to look at both of you. “You know, you’re so jealous! I was literally catching up with her and you’re making an issue! That’s what’s wrong with you!”

“Oh, wow!” You chuckled. “So if I were to talk to my ex and laugh with him, would you be jealous?”

“Yes, I would! But I wouldn’t make a scene and I wouldn’t worry too much about it because I know that at the end of the day, you come home TO ME; your husband. I trust you, but you don’t fucking trust me and it’s insane!” Tom shrieked.

“Oh, so now I’m insane?!”

“Yeah, you are! How can you get it through your thick head? Nothing’s going on between me and her! We’re just friends and there’s nothing to worry about!”

“That’s where it all starts.” You said. “You become friends and then you hang out again and then before you know it, you’re going on secret dates and then you’re cheating.”

Tom laughed bitterly, “See what I’m talking about?! You already made some shit up! I can’t believe your spewing random stories out of your fucking mouth! God, you’re so irritating sometimes!”

“IF YOU FIND ME SO IRRITATING, WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?!”

“IF YOU DON’T FUCKING TRUST ME, WHY ARE WE STILL FUCKING MARRIED?!”

At this point, you and Tom were loudly and shamelessly arguing in the kitchen. You forgot about the guests and you forgot about the party. Dom, Tom’s father, had to tell everyone the party was over, so that they could all leave and not witness your fight.

Jacob shook his head at the sight and said, “They do this all the time. I’m used to it now. I bought myself headphones to keep myself company. Those headphones are my best friends now.”

Taking pity on Jacob, Paddy said, “What music do you listen to? The speaker’s still in the garden and we can plug in your phone there, so we can listen together.”

Sam heard and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll join in too. What’re you into?”

“Count me in. Shit is heated here and I need a break.” Harry sighed before earning a nudge from Sam. “Ouch, what was that for?”

“Watch your mouth.” Sam said.

“That’s fine. I’ve heard so many curse words now. Let’s just go to the garden.” Jacob said as he led the way.

Nikki closed the backdoor after all of them went to the garden and she quickly went back to the kitchen to stop you guys from fighting.

“Hey!” She shouted, causing you and Tom to stop. “Let’s talk in the living room.”

Now, here you were in the living room with Tom, Nikki, and Dom. You never thought that you would ever receive an intervention of some kind.

“Why are you fighting?” Dom asked.

“She was jealous because I was talking to my ex and she was being super unreasonable. It’s so irritating.” Tom answered as he rolled his eyes.

“Have you ever hit each other?” nikki asked and you shook your head. “We would never hit each other.” You cleared up, earning a nod from her.

“Have you ever thought about marriage counseling?” Dom asked and you and Tom shook your heads.

“We don’t need it.” Tom said. “We’re just having a rough patch at the moment.”

Dom laughed, “That’s a funny way of saying it. Son, you’ve been fighting for YEARS. I think it’s time for both of you to get some help and sort out everything.”

“You need to fix this. If not for both of you, then do it for Jacob and Mason. We all know that Mason hates fighting. Imagine how Mason would feel about all this.” Nikki said softly.

“That’s not fair.” Tom shook his head. “You can’t just use my dead son against me.”

“I’m not using him against you. I’m just saying that he would be disappointed in both of you for fighting and for forgetting Jacob.” Nikki snapped.

“Let’s go.” You said quietly.

“What?” Tom turned to you.

“Let’s go to a marriage counselor. Tom, they’re right. We need help. I thought fighting was just in court. I don’t want to experience it at home too. We’re tired from our jobs and I think that’s the reason why we’re snapping at each other. I want us to talk about this before we do or say anything stupid.” You explained as you rubbed your temple with your left hand.

Tom looked down and nodded, “Fine. I don’t want to fight forever.”

You looked at each other and gave him a small smile as you grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. With that small gesture, Tom hoped that everything would be alright.

Today’s the day for yours and Tom’s first marriage counseling session. Both of you were extremely nervous, but you both knew it had to be done. The drive there was quiet and if you were being honest, you had to admit that being quiet was strange for you and Tom.

When you arrived, you two still hadn't spoken to each other in fear that it might lead to another fight. Both of you were asked to wait in the waiting room until your names were called and when it was, both of you nervously walked in the marriage counselor’s office.

They asked you to take a seat in front of their desk and you did as you were told. They smiled at you and said, “Mr. and Mrs. Holland, am I correct?”

“Yes.” You answered at the same time.

“Alright. Tell me about your relationship. How did it start?” They asked.

You chuckled at the memory and so did Tom. “Well, I was in a relationship when I met her and she had an attitude.” Tom said with a grin.

“That’s true.” You chuckled. “I was a new student in his school and I was just mean because I hated being new and I hated starting over. You see, my family kept moving around but this time, we stayed.”

“So anyway, when my girlfriend and I broke up, I was upset. I was 15 at the time and I thought that she was the one. Of course, I was wrong because I got to know Y/N after that. Something told me that Y/N was someone special. I just didn’t know that she was the one. Of course, I found that out years later. Heck, that’s why I proposed.” Tom admitted.

“Tom was my first boyfriend and I honestly thought we wouldn’t last because we were 16 when we started dating and that’s so young. So, I really didn’t give my all in the relationship because why would I give my all if we weren’t going to last, anyway?” You said, biting your lip.

“I just knew that now.” Tom confessed and then there was silence, but you quickly broke it.

“Of course, I changed my mind.” You said.

“What made you change your mind?” The counselor asked.

“I changed my mind when I met his family. I just felt really special that time and we were already dating for about 5 months. I felt really happy and I felt as if something good is about to happen. I was right.” You smiled as you looked at Tom. “He was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.”

The counselor nodded, “Okay and what was your marriage like before?”

“Oh, it was spectacular! We got married when we were 23 years old and we traveled from to time because at that time, we weren’t super busy.” Tom answered. “Then, we had our son, Jacob, the year after that. It was quick and definitely a surprise, but we were excited to be parents. I knew that Y/N would be an excellent mother and she is. I never doubted her, not once and not ever.”

“Everyone said we were crazy for getting married so young, but why should we wait for a long time, y’know? We already know that we’re it for each other. Love is different for everyone and people failed to think about that during those times.” You answered. “A month into our marriage, I still couldn’t get over the fact that I’m his wife. It felt so surreal and I felt like I was on cloud nine. It felt so good.”

“That was before, right?” The counselor asked and both of you nodded. “What do you think changed? What happened?”

“I think it’s because we got busier at work and we had no time for each other. Then, we still had Jacob to take care of and it was just tiring. I guess that’s why we kept snapping at each other. That’s where it all began. The snapping and then it moved to the raising of voices-”

“Then the shouting and yelling, the saying things we don’t mean, and the not talking to each other for days. I honestly thought our marriage was done, but we vowed to each other that we would be there for each other through good times and in bad. Why would I give up on Y/N after a bump on the road? So, I stayed.” Tom continued.

“Does one person feel the need to win whenever you argue?”

“I don’t feel the need to win.” You said.

“I don’t feel the need to win either. I think we argue because we think we’re right and we don’t agree with things.” Tom answered.

“That’s true. We can’t even talk to each other properly without it leading to yet another heated argument. I think this is the longest conversation we have without shouting and yelling and saying things we don’t mean.” You said.

“Why are you here? What made you come here?”

“We came here because we realized that after years of fighting, we need help. After years of fighting, we finally admitted to ourselves that we need help from a professional.” You said.

“What are you hoping to learn from counseling?”

“I want to learn how to deal with our problems without yelling and getting angry about it.” Tom said.

“Okay, and you?”

“I want to learn how to learn the same thing. I can’t go on fighting anymore. We’re supposed to be teammates and we can’t do that if we’re always arguing.” You answered.

“Where would you like to see your marriage by the end of counseling?”

“A strong and healthier marriage, definitely.” You nodded. “I want that for us.”

“By the end of counseling, I want us to still be together. I want us to be better than who we are now especially for Jacob because I feel like our fights are rubbing off on him. He barely talks to us and I hate that.” Tom said and you agreed.

“Okay, thank you for that. That’s all I need for now and I’ll see you in our next session.” The counselor said.

Counseling helped greatly and it made you learn more about yourselves. You learned about your new strengths and weaknesses. Life at home slowly changed too. There were a few fights, but they weren’t as bad as before. Jacob still wouldn’t talk to both of you, though and that scared both of you.

Today was your last day of marriage counseling and the counselor said that there will be a last activity before they can conclude anything.

“I have a set of questions here that I want you both to answer, alright?” The counselor asked and both of you nodded.

Do you trust each other?

Tom: Yes, I trust her with everything in me.

You: I do.

Is there anything you feel you can’t trust each other with?

Both: No.

Have you ever felt the need to check the other person’s phone when they leave it unattended?

Tom: No.

You: Yes, but that was before we were married.

Tom looked at you and you just shrugged, “I’m just being honest.”

Have you ever done anything to lose the trust of the other person?

Tom: No, but I’m sure she had her doubts at some point.

You: No, and he’s right.

What makes you both happy?

Tom: Seeing my family happy.

You: Same answer.

When was the happiest period of time in your marriage, and what about it did you enjoy the most?

Tom: Our wedding day because I finally got to marry the girl of my dreams. I finally had my dream come true.

You: Our one year wedding anniversary because we’ve been together for 8 years in total and married for a year. It blew my mind that we lasted so long and we’re having our first born on the way.

Is there anything the other does that brings you down?

Tom: When she accuses me of not making time for our family. I try to make time, I do. It’s just that I’m always the doctor they call whenever they need something and I can’t help it. I know I promised I’d be there, but I took an oath to be there for patients too. It’s my duty to serve the public and I don’t want to abandon that and aside from being a husband and father, I dreamt about being a doctor too. It would break my heart to not do what I’m supposed to do.

You: When he would blame me for things that aren’t my fault.

Do you feel that you care about each other’s happiness?

Tom: Yes! Last year, she got me golf clubs for my birthday.

You: Yeah and he got me tickets to a concert that I want to go to.

What can you do to share each other’s happiness?

Tom: Go golfing with me.

You: Have a relaxing day together; just me and him.

Do you stress each other out?

Tom: I guess so. We wouldn’t be fighting if we don’t stress each other out.

You: True.

What do you find the most stressful?

Tom: When she doesn’t understand me.

You: When he forgets his role at home.

Do you feel you can come home to each other after a special day and feel better?

Tom: If I was asked this before, I’d say no because I always come home late and she’d be asleep. So, we couldn’t fix our problems. But now, yes.

You: I agree with him.

What do you feel are the biggest stressors in your marriage?

Tom: My job, but I can’t quit.

You: Our schedules because they always clash.

Do you feel like you can talk to each other about everything?

Both:: Yes.

Do you feel like the other listens when you speak?

Both:: Yes.

Do you make love as often as the other would like?

The question made you and Tom giggle causing the counselor to look at both of you. “I’m guessing, you do it more often now than before?”

“No comment.” Tom said, trying to hide a grin on his face.

“Alright, moving on.” The counselor chuckled.

Do you fulfill each other’s needs physically?

Tom: Definitely.

You: Absolutely.

Have you ever thought about seeing someone else?

Tom: No.

You: Never in a million years.

Have you ever seen someone else while you’ve been together?

Both:: No.

Do you still communicate with others you’ve been with intimately?

Tom: No.

You: I’ve never been with anyone else prior to Tom.

Is there anything in the past that the other has done that still bothers you?

Tom: I don’t think so; no.

You: The way he laughed with his ex at his parents’ wedding anniversary party. This is completely on my part now; it’s not his fault.

If you could change one thing about the past, what would it be?

Tom: The thing that got us into this whole mess. I would like to completely remove that.

You: Same here.

Would you say your relationship has been mostly good, mostly bad, or something in between?

Tom: Something in between.

You: Yes. No relationship is perfect.

Are there any conflicts in the past that you feel have not been resolved?

Both:: No.

What are some fond memories you have about the past?

Tom: When we first started dating, blissfully unaware of what our future will hold.

You: When we still had Mason.

Tom looked at you with a sad smile and grabbed your hand.

Do you want to remain married?

Both: Yes.

Where would you like to see each other a year from now?

Tom: Hopefully having a daughter.

You: True. I would like that.

What about five years from now?

Tom: New and improved.

You: Better at handling our stress.

What is one thing you’ve always loved about the other?

Tom: She’s caring and loving.

You: His passion for the things he loves.

If you could take a vacation, just the two of you, where would you go?

Both: To where we had our honeymoon.

What is something the other does that makes you smile?

Tom: When I see her with Jacob

You: When I see him being in his natural element.

What is your most cherished memory of the two of you?

Tom: When we first bought our house.

You: When we officially became parents.

What is something about your marriage that you wouldn’t change for anything?

Tom: Everything despite the fighting and crying.

You: Same here.

“This is now your last day for marriage counseling. On our first meeting, I asked you where you see yourselves at the end of marriage counseling. Did it happen?” The counselor asked as they looked at the two of you seriously.

You thought about it for a while before looking at each other.

"I think so." You answered. "I'm not really sure."

Tom nodded, "Yes, I'm not sure too."

* * * *

lmao cliffhanger bc there'll be two endings

this took me DAYS to write and i hope you guys enjoyed it! feedback would be lovely x

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @cocoamoonmalfoy @thatforgottenangel @parkerpeter24 @turtoix @slutforsr @givebuckyhisplumsnow @buckys-little-hoe @runawayolives @chewymoustachio @hollandsrecs @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @juliediggory @lharrietg @alexx-stancati @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @spideyspeaches @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @quxxnxfhxll @marvelsimps @dreamy-clousds @bora-world @hunnybunimdun @supred12

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow

#tom holland #tom holland one shots #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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caranfindel · 4 years ago

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Take these broken wings and learn to fly (15.20 coda)

het, but Wincest-compatible | about 2300 words | PG-13 for language | characters: sam winchester, sam’s blurry wife |

Julia has been widowed (God, what an awful word, widowed) for three years when she meets Sam. It’s a work-based friendship at first. She’s kind of lonely and sad, he’s kind of lonely and sad, and they gravitate toward each other. And then one evening they’re at a bar, the last ones left from an after-work happy hour, both of them drinking more than they should, and she thinks he’s kind and thoughtful and smart and he may be 10 years older than me but he’s still hot as hell and I enjoy being with him and I look forward to seeing him and maybe I should just… and she kisses him. He’s shocked; shocked enough to confirm that he wasn’t just hanging around hoping to make it out of the friendzone. And then he’s holding her face in his hands and he’s kissing her too.

It’s good. They’re good together. It’s not the earth-shattering, all-encompassing romance she had with Shaun. Julia knows she’ll never have anything like that again. Most people don’t even get one soulmate in their lives; no one gets two. And she knows Sam doesn’t have that same desperate love that Shaun had for her; she knows she’ll never have his whole heart. (She knows the woman he intended to marry was killed in a fire, she knows another woman he loved went back to her ex. She doesn’t know which of these women still owns that last piece of Sam’s heart.) But she loves Sam, and he loves her, and they get married.

(The sex is amazing. Sometimes he’s gentle, almost reverent, as if he’s afraid he’ll break her, and other times he’s fierce and passionate and almost tries to break her, and she loves both ends of the spectrum.)

She suggests they melt down her old wedding band to make a new one. It was an heirloom from her grandmother, a plain wide band of yellow gold that she loves, that she thought she’d wear for the rest of her life. But Shaun is the one who put it on her finger the first time. It doesn’t seem right to ask Sam to accept it now. A new band from the old gold seems like a good compromise. No, Sam says, I couldn’t ask you to do that. I know a way we can make it ours. He has the inside of the band engraved with the same symbol he wears tattooed over his heart, and makes her promise to never take it off. Bad luck, he says.

He’s such a contradiction. Scary smart, but as superstitious as an Appalachian grandmother. Calm and unflappable, but with a weirdly hyperactive startle reflex. Kind and empathetic, but capable of extreme violence when pushed to his limits (seriously, don’t walk your drunk ass up to Sam Winchester’s wife and lay hands on her, and don’t get mouthy when she tells you to back off) and just really, frighteningly skilled at that violence.

(A little frightening and also very sexy. Julia’s always had a thing for the hero type.)

They both have nightmares. One night Julia watches Shaun’s face melting under his gear and wakes with a cry of horror. Sam holds her as she tearfully describes living on the knife edge of constant fear that comes with loving someone whose job is literally running into burning buildings. I know, he says, over and over, even though he can’t possibly know. The irony of their first loves both dying in flames is not lost on her, but it’s not like his college girlfriend was a firefighter. It’s not like he watched her go to work every day and prayed she’d make it home alive.

Julia’s pregnancy is a wonderful surprise. She and Shaun had tried for over a year before she was widowed, and she just didn’t count on it happening with Sam. They agree not to name the baby after anyone they’ve lost. Let’s not name him after our pain, she says, and Sam is okay with that. (Or he isn’t. But ever since she showed him the positive pregnancy test, she’s known she could ask him for anything. She’s known he would rip out his heart and serve it on a platter if she asked for it.)

But they haven’t decided on a name yet when her water breaks four weeks early. When their perfect baby boy is born at 12:10 a.m., the nurse announces the date and time and Sam looks up at her in shock and blinks away happy tears and says it’s the 24th. It’s my brother’s birthday. Julia is flying high on endorphins; she loves this baby and she loves this man and she even loves his dead brother she never got to meet, and she says it’s got to be a sign; let’s name him Dean.

She takes off her wedding ring, just this once, to have Dean’s birthdate engraved on the inside. Sam does the same with his own ring. He insists they go to a jeweler who will engrave while they wait, rather than leaving the rings there. She waves a hand at her lumpy postpartum body. You afraid someone’s gonna make a move on all this if you don’t keep a ring on it?

He laughs at her and says you’re onto me, even though he’s the one who needs to be locked away, still with that long lean runner’s body and the amazing shoulders and the goddamn dimples. I just don’t like us being without them, he says. He is a sweet, sentimental fool and she adores him. He bends down to kiss her, carefully maneuvering the baby he’s wearing in a sling, and Julia looks at this man and this baby and this life she didn’t think she was get to have and knows she’s happier than she has any right to be. And she’s relieved when Sam slips the ring back onto her finger, this ring imbued with the men she loves, so maybe he’s not the only sentimental fool.

(One thing she loves about Sam is that he understands why she feels guilty that Shaun didn’t get to share this life with her.)

In July they light a little candle for Dean’s six-month birthday. When Julia wakes the next morning, Sam’s side of the bed is empty and cold. She finds him cuddling their sleeping baby in the living room. I got up to give him a bottle, Sam says. I guess I just fell asleep out here. His red-rimmed eyes and empty coffee mug suggest he didn’t actually sleep at all, but, well. They’re both battling their own private demons. If a night cradling the baby gives Sam some peace for whatever reason, she’s glad of it.

Sam’s fierce love for their child takes her by surprise. If Julia has 90% of his heart, his son has 110%. He parents with a vengeance, is the only way she can think of to describe it. Like he’s making up for something. She doesn’t feel slighted, but it’s impossible to ignore that ever since Dean was born, Sam’s prime objective has been to make sure the boy is happy and safe. Everything else comes second.

(When she notices Sam has been carefully marking his tattoo symbol onto Dean’s clothing, hidden near seams and always in a color that almost matches the fabric, she decides not to say anything. He gets a little funny about his superstitions sometimes.)

Sam desperately wants Dean to have a sibling, and they try for another one, but it doesn’t happen. Julia reminds him that they’re lucky to have even one child. That having a sibling is not a lifetime guarantee of companionship and love. She should know, after all, since Stephanie cut her off after she married that asshole Scientologist and decided she couldn’t have a relationship with anyone who wasn’t also in their stupid cult.

Dean has plenty of friends and tons of activities, which Sam encourages with an almost religious fervor, but he never pulls away from his parents. They have so much in common, Sam and his son. Instead of rebelling as a teenager, Dean seems to grow even closer to his father. They spend hours together, paging through the ancient books in Sam’s study (she hates them, they smell musty and make her sneeze) or driving in the old Chevrolet. They even travel together sometimes, visiting those friends of Sam’s that live up north somewhere. Julia met them at the wedding and they were perfectly nice, thrilled to death that she and Sam had found each other. But she always feels like an outsider when they’re around, like they’re part of something she’ll never understand. So much history, with Sam and the brother she never got to meet. They absolutely dote on Dean though, and he seems to love them too, so the boys’ trip to Sioux Falls becomes an annual event.

(Dean is 14 years old when he comes home from one of these trips with his own version of the tattoo.)

When Julia is diagnosed with cancer, Dean is 16 years old. Sam does his best to ensure life goes on as normal for their son but somehow never neglects Julia’s needs. He throws himself into research and is always on top of the latest treatment, always at her elbow with the top internet-recommended remedy for her side effects, making sure both she and Dean have everything they want and need, all the attention and support they can tolerate. She doesn’t know when, or if, Sam actually sleeps. When she feels up for it, he arranges experiences for the three of them. A week lying on the beach, a weekend in New York City, a night in the mountains looking at the stars. When we look back on this time, he says, I don’t want us to only remember how much it sucked. I want us all to have good memories too.

(She doesn’t know why he’s concerned about her memories. There’s a good chance she won’t have much time to enjoy them. But it’s good for Dean. She doesn’t want this to ruin Dean’s childhood.)

Sam insists Dean go away to college as planned. Julia agrees, although she’s kind of surprised he’s willing to let the boy out of his sight. Aren’t you going to miss him? she asks.

So much, he answers. But this isn’t about me, and what I need. It’s about him. They drive Dean to school in the ancient Chevrolet. Supposedly because the trunk has room for all of his stuff, but Julia is pretty sure it’s just one last sentimental road trip in the old thing before Sam retires it. When they pick Dean up at the end of the school year, it’s in her SUV. Dean promises his father, more than once, that he’ll restore the Chevy someday.

Five years after Julia’s diagnosis, she’s sitting in the doctor’s office learning that her last remission was her last remission. There are no more options. She has months, not years. Sam clutches her hand and nods, once, as if to say I should have known this would happen; I should have expected something like this. Then he takes her home.

It’s a blessing in a way, he says late that night, after a little too much to drink. Knowing what’s coming. Having time to say goodbye. You don’t always get that. And yes, she knows this as well as anybody does.

Sam has always been supportive of her choice not to contact Stephanie, but one day he says Jules, I promise I’ll never bring it up again. It’s just that I don’t want you to have any regrets. I don’t want you miss the opportunity to say things that you’ll wish you’d said. Julia isn’t sure Steph will speak to her. She’s not even sure she’ll have the same phone number — they haven’t spoken since Dad’s funeral, a year after she was widowed — but she makes the call. And Steph answers. And cries. And comes to visit, where she hugs and cries some more. Sam watches it all with a sad smile for a while, then disappears into the garage to sit in the old Chevy.

When Julia takes her last conscious breaths, Dean is holding one hand and Sam is holding the other. She squeezes her son’s hand and thinks I love you, dear boy, and I’m sorry I have to leave you. She squeezes her husband’s hand and thinks thank you for giving me this, thank you for taking care of me, thank you for loving me and letting me love you. Then she closes her eyes and lets the soft, warm darkness take over.

And then. Then she wakes to a cool breeze and the sound of chirping birds. She’s standing at a lake she recognizes. It’s Shaun’s favorite fishing spot. And Shaun is there, waiting for her. And everything is okay.

Sam does show up eventually. Julia’s sitting on the porch of the cabin with Shaun, enjoying the perpetual nice day (sometimes a spring morning, sometimes a fall afternoon, but always nice) when she hears the familiar rumble. It cant be, she thinks. It can’t be that old car. But it is.

I’m glad you found someone with good taste in cars, Shaun says, as Sam unfolds himself from the driver’s seat. He looks exactly as he did the day she met him; no glasses, only a little grey at his temples. Still tall and strong and beautiful. She runs to meet him and embraces him as Shaun watches from the porch.

You found Shaun, Sam says. I’m so happy for you, Jules. I really am. He doesn’t seem to have any intention of joining her (their) Heaven permanently, but he doesn’t seem to have anyone else with him either. Where is the dead girlfriend? How is this fair?

They talk about Dean, and Julia’s heart swells with pride over her strong, smart, kind, brave son. He’s like you, she says. He’s just like you.

Sam shrugs. He’s a Winchester.

But what about you? she says. You’re not — you’re not alone here, are you?

Nah, he says. I’m good. I promise.

(Eventually Julia meets the first Dean, and she understands.)

===

I know a lot of people have mocked Sam's blurry wife, but I actually have grown to love the concept. Because it means she can be anything we want her to be. And yeah, initially I liked the idea of her being Dr. Cara, or Eileen. But now I don't think that would happen. I think Sam would have to start fresh to have that kind of relationship. And I also like the idea of Sam's wife having her own soulmate somewhere, waiting for her, so she's not a huge part of Sam and Dean's shared Heaven. I mean, they're gonna visit, obviously. And then they'll go home to their soulmates.

The title is from "Blackbird" by the Beatles.

#spn #15.20 #my fic #episode coda #sam winchester

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rbbalmung · 4 years ago

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Pokemon SwSh GPL AU: Get to know ______ P3

It’s time for THE BOYS. My biggest conclusion from putting this together is that while Raihan enjoys pushing everyone else’s buttons, Leon is the only person that can fluster the hell out of him. Please enjoy.

Get to Know: Leon x Raihan (TrueRivalShipping)

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other? Leon. He feels like the type of person whose love language is gift giving (ex. giving Hop Wooloo and Grookey, giving Gloria Scorbunny, Yamper, and Charmander, ect.). That being said, he’s terrible at getting gifts. He can tell exactly what type of Pokemon a person would want and catch it, but presents? He once got Raihan a charmander watch made for kids without even considering it wouldn’t fit him.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap? Leon. They’re both tall, but Lee’s the smaller of the two.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes? Raihan would definitely strut around just to get a reaction out of Leon. Half the time his intentions are to get him into bed, but the other half? Embarrass Leon when he’s on Rotom calls with his mum (don’t worry, he wears pants for those instances).

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway? They’re both night owls. They stay up either playing video games or watching Netflix (or whatever the pokemon equivalent to that is). They had to invest in a bigger couch due to how often they have passed out on it. (When I say bigger couch, I definitely mean a futon. They just straight up by the closest thing they can to another bed).

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies? Hop inherited their mum’s cooking skills. Since Leon spent most of his young adult life as a champion who never really had time to stay at home and cook a real meal, it is up to Raihan to provide. Lee was permanently designated to cleanup duty after nearly burning the apartment down.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”? Leon would say,” Oh, that’s us!” and Raihan would say,” Eh, not really?” just to spite him. There is a lot of teasing and playful banter in their relationship.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes? Raihan, but only because he would literally murder Leon if he borrowed one of his designer sweatshirts. There’s also the added benefit that Lee’s clothes are a lot comfier.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?” Leon isn’t allowed to run errands by himself because he’d get lost, so Raihan is usually the grocery-getter. Raihan will be in the checkout line and almost always get a last minute text from Leon asking for one more item. It drives Raihan bonkers.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions? Leon is the driver, and Raihan is the “direction giver” (let’s be real, he’s more focused on what song they play next than getting them to their destination). If it’s a group road trip, neither of them are allowed in the front because they’ll just end up getting everyone lost.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws? Ok, so I don’t really think one of them would draw the other. They’re much more of an “active, sporty couple” than an “artsy couple”. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened, though. During one of their dates, they decided to doodle each other on their napkins to help pass the time. They were both terrible and it got really heated when the waitress chose Leon’s drawing as “slightly less worse”.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips? Are you kidding? They’d both try to out-do each other. Both backflippers.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking? I feel like even though Leon has more body mass than Raihan, he’d be the lightweight of the two. Both have been in the League since they were in their late teens, but Leon’s public image had a lot more specifications than Raihan’s. That meant Raihan got to go to a lot more college parties on his nights off and build up his tolerance. Leon’s public relations manager didn’t let him even look at alcohol until he stepped down as champion. He had to “set a good example for his young fans”. (Sufficed to say, Gloria quickly got a new PR manager when she filled his role).

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own? Raihan learned that if he used Leon’s last name, he could get special treatment. It’s an abuse of power! Especially when they’re having dinner at the Hoffman house and Raihan casually slips in that he’s planning on taking Lee’s last name once they marry. Leon’s convinced his grandparents like Raihan better than they like him at this point.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside? Raihan, though he’ll go to an early grave before admitting that. He just doesn’t want them getting webbing on his new shoes! Yeah...that’s it.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket? Leon. It was mentioned above, but Raihan has to be in a really good mood in order to let Leon borrow his stuff. It isn’t that big of a deal, thankfully: The Hoffman boys are like personal heaters.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling? Ok, ok, ok: Raihan is slightly intimidated by Hop. He just wants the best for his big bro! If that means calling Raihan out of his shit from time to time to keep him in line, so be it. Raihan can’t fight back either, because that’s his boyfriend’s little brother! One of the only things Leon gets testy over is people bullying Hop, so Raihan has to do it when he isn’t around.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other? Leon. It wasn’t one of those things where they’ve always liked each other, but after being friends for so long, their feelings blossomed into something new. Lee is a big flirt and never officially came out, so Raihan just figured he didn’t mean it whenever he complimented him. Leon literally confessed to Raihan at least five time before it sank in that he was serious.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting? I think they’d actually be pretty good! Leon helped raise Hop and he definitely has the dad act down, so adopting children would be something he’d be super interested in. Raihan may struggle a little bit at first (especially with where the line of what he could and couldn’t post on social media was), but he has a big heart. They would always be there for their kids. If Gloria and Hop are the cool parents, Leon and Raihan are the embarrassing ones. Would tease their kid lovingly.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters? Leon has sent a lot of professional texts because of his former position as champion, so he’d win by default. If they’re texting each other, it is all in numbers, emojis, and abbreviations. Sonia, Piers, and Nessa hate being in group chats with them.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them? Lee is the more protective of the two, especially when it comes to people bullying Raihan online. Raihan tries to tell him that he doesn't have to do it, but he’s secretly very flattered.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun? Leon makes the worst dad jokes in the world. Sometimes he does it just to embarrass Raihan.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy? They take turns. Raihan will catch a Hakamo-o to beat Lee’s Aegislash, only for Lee to catch an Azumarill from the Isle of Armor a week later. It’s a never ending game of trying to one up the other.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired? Leon. He’s pretty buff, so carrying Raihan around is nothing. He usually does it without asking if his boyfriend looks tired and flusters the heck out of him.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering? Ever since Leon left he league, he makes it a priority to go to every one of Raihan’s matches. He often dons ridiculous disguises in order to not get recognised, but he always gets recognised. There is an online forum just made up of pictures of him in different, weird attire. He might’ve even been able to slip by public notice if not for the fact that he tries to make AS MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE to cheer his boyfriend on.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder? Is there even a possible different answer than Raihan? The man takes selfies as a living. You better believe he has 8 different folders of pictures of Leon.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked? Raihan. Leon is so close to having style, but then he’ll throw on his signature snapback and a cape and ruin everything. You know the cape isn’t even a requirement for the champion to wear? Yeah, Lee just chose to wear it. He counts it as a small victory whenever Leon decides to buy something at one of Rai’s favourite stores.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of? Raihan tries not to get between Leon and Charizard. It’s a similar situation to the Hop one: Charizard is Lee’s baby, which means Raihan isn’t allowed to tease them.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains? Raihan, but he purposely will move the umbrella out from above Leon to get him soaked. It’s payback for all the other stuff he does.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures? Like Gloria and Hop, I think they’d travel to all the regions. They’d have to do it on off seasons and couldn't stay long due to their duties in Galar, but they like seeing the new types of pokemon. Once again, Rai would take millions of pictures. He has a photo album per vacation, not just vacation in general.

#GPL AU #pokemon #pokemon sword and shield #pokemon au #pokemon swsh #swsh #swsh leon #pokemon leon #champion leon #swsh raihan #pokemon raihan #gym leader raihan #leon x raihan #truerivalshipping #The banter between these two would be unbeatable #half the time people aren't sure if they even like each other #best boyfriends ever

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jpsbookshelf · 3 years ago

Text

Credence Review

BOOK REVIEW- yay im back!

❌SPOILER ALERT!❌

Credence by Penelope Douglas

Let’s jump right in, shall we? First let’s introduce all the important characters.

Tiernan De Haas, the girl who just care about anything anymore. Then there’s Jake Van der Berg, the one who has her, Noah Van der Berg, the one who wants her, and Kaleb Van der Berg, the one whose going to keep her. That is directly taken from the back of the book minus the names attached. The story starts with Tiernan’s parents, who are celebrities, killing themselves. Causing the media to spin out of control. Desperate to escape she decides that staying with her fathers’ step brother, Jake, who live way out in the mountains in Colorado. Key word being step meaning no blood relationship at all. Still makes me feel weird though. Anyways, Jake has two sons, Noah and Kaleb, Noah is great. We love him. Kaleb is... a lot. We literally meet him as he’s forcing himself on Tiernan since he thinks she’s one of his...night buddies who are usually waiting for him after he spends a lot of time in the woods. Noah ends the situation and explains to Tiernan what happened cause you know...Kaleb doesn’t talk. Yeah. He doesn’t talk due to traumatic event that led to him being left in a car for days as his mom did who knows what.

They get past it obviously and the whole gang bonds. You might be wondering why I’m not going into detail about Jake or Noah and that’s cause you don’t need to. So time goes on and Tiernan decides to stay and she celebrates her 18th birthday with them. *devilish smirk* They go to a bar in the closest town, called Chapels Peak. The guys of this town have already set their eyes on her when she first arrived to town. Especially Terrance Holcomb. Since Jakes, Noah, and Kaleb know that he likes to engage in...group activities and then rank whatever girl is involved and he has quite the list already. The Van de Berg boys come to her rescue after she gets cornered and they make an escape to the house just in time for the snow that will keep them locked up in the mountains for months to start. Since there was a chance they were followed Kaleb and Noah stay up to guard the place but of course Tiernan joins them. The put a movie on and of course a sex scene starts. This leads to the obvious sexual tension everyone has been throughout the book to show more. After a moment of playful banter between Noah and Tiernan, because obviously Kaleb can’t talk, Tiernan ends up in Noahs lap. He tells her she should go to bed and gets her off of him. He then says

“Last chance, you should go.” When I tell you I have never laughed so hard. She obviously doesn’t leave even as he starts to stroke himself. Then asks if she wants to watch as if that hasn’t been what she was already doing. Anyway she keeps watching and notices that Kaleb got a lil bulge. Next thing you know they all getting off to this movie. Noah and Kaleb aren’t watching the movie. Just her. Tops are being pulled up, kisses are given in all the right places from both guys. Noah then delivers the funniest line ever.

“I get your cherry. As long as I promise not to touch your ass. He’ll want that.”

I gasped and then choked on my laughter. She was about to DP’d for her first time. Yeah she’s a virgin. Kind of ruined my imagination on the scene but it was interrupted by Jake anyways who then spanks her, which she of course enjoyed, after sending the boys away. He then precedes to fuck her the very next chapter...in a truck...three times. THREE! They go back to the house obviously looking all sexed up and Noah sees. Noah and Jake argue and they pretty much agree that if she wants any of them they’ll gladly give themself to her.

Anyways, the book continues and Jake is still getting all of Tiernan, Noah ain’t getting anything, and Kaleb is throwing oatmeal at her, disappearing, and being a little bitch. But Kaleb does lay with her when she’s having nightmares and she never remembers. Cute. Next theres a barn fire Tiernan get really injured and they have to clean her wound and stitch it up. It’s to much for her even with the whiskey, so naturally Kaleb hits her so her focus isn’t on the pain. Yeah...

He hits her. The she asked him to do it again.

Im not shocked this point. Noah kisses her to distract her and they finish. She then accuses Kalbe of being an abuser which I mean...it was to help her? But was also not helpful. Until the second time lmao. Then Noah gives, in my opinion the BEST line.

“I’m the only man in this house who hasn’t hit you, and I’m the one you don’t want. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I’m laughing even writing. Please he’s so sassy and so true. Then they have a threesome, them being Tiernan, Noah, and Kaleb. Yes, she takes it both ways now. Moving on, she really only has sex with Kaleb the rest of the book and they bond and shit. Then she’s like yeah I love him. They fight and then have angry boundary breaking sex and then she goes and cuddles with Noah and he tells her about there mom. Jake returns, I forgot her left to be honest, and Kaleb saw Noah and Tiernan the night before and wrecked her art shit and then they argue, well she does and he leaves. She goes through his room and finds that he has written about her and what he’s wanted to say to her. So, her and Noah go out into the woods to find him. They find him and they have makeup sex. She tells him she loves and he doesn’t say shit back obviously. He jokingly throws out her birth control when they get back to the house. Ha.

Anyways, everyone but Tiernan goes to town now that winter is over. Terrance Holcomb comes and fucks things up again. He tries to hurt and blackmail her but also saying he’ll be her boytoy. Anyways the boys come to her rescue and she practically is pushed into her moms assistants car who had been there to visit and she leaves town.

Time skip, she’s back in Los Angeles. I think Im way to lazy to fact check that but she’s living life there. Trying to get used to being away from those guys but then Noah shows up and is like yeah I’ve been working here for 6 weeks and then he practically says that he don’t like her like that no more and he just views her as family. I believe it was a couple weeks later and Jake is now at her place since Noah is staying there and he’s off arguing with Tiernans moms assistant. She looks to her backyard and the tire swing her mom had lit up was back and so was Noah. She talks to him and she says something along the lines of…

“ You finally left Colorado”

“It was time.”

Yay! He talked. It was pretty predictable though. In the epilogue it starts with tent sex and then you find out they have a kid now and they live happily ever after.

I don’t hate this book in fact, the sex scenes were written very well adn had me feeling some type of way most of the time. Recapping itt though made me realize a lot of issues with it causing this review to make is seem like a joke this book gets.... *drum roll*

⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

#booknerd #books #bookworm #booksbooksbooks #booktok #best seller books #book blog #bookish #bookstagram #booklover #spicybooktok #spicy books #credence

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theotherackerman · 3 years ago

Text

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

NOTES:

Tuesday, January 19th

song: epiphany-taylor swift

chapter twenty-two: epiphany

Zeke was working at his desk when he heard his brother’s voice down the hall. It must have been time for Eren’s appointment. Zeke had been too involved in the paperwork he was doing to even realize the time.

His last patient had been a wreck.

More so than normal. Everything was in order now.

At least Zeke had hoped.

Zeke remembered the words Pieck had said to him. Maybe Zeke already had the family he had longed for.

But he still had unfinished business with one part of his family.

He looked over at the picture of his mother on his desk.

Dina had got the short end of every stick. Her family had mostly passed away by the time she had married Grisha and the living family…

Well, they wanted nothing to do with her.

Zeke thought of Levi.

His mother had been cast out due to being pregnant while Zeke’s mother had been cast out for marrying a man she loved.

Zeke made peace with Grisha, at least in his head.

But his mother’s family?

The ones who abandoned her?

Those he wanted revenge on.

Now he had the perfect opportunity.

Well, at least he thought he did.

He still had a lot of things to get in order before he could.

“Have you read the file yet?” he heard Levi’s voice behind him. It caused Zeke to jump.

“How did you get back here?” Zeke asked as he turned around. “Also I thought Mikasa was bringing Eren.”

“I walked through the door. How else would I get back here? It’s snowing. She doesn’t like to drive in the snow.”

“Right. Parents’ car accident. You mentioned that.”

“So did you read the file?”

“No,” Zeke sighed before standing up and closing the door.

“Why not? You’ve been bugging me about it long enough,” Levi said before taking his usual spot and sitting down.

“Because I know there’s going to be a lot of shit in there from the Reiss family about my mom,” Zeke said before sitting back down at his desk.

“It’s not an opinion. It’s only only facts in there. What would Kenny do with an opinion?” Levi huffed.

“I do not know!” Zeke yelled. He sighed and then took off his glasses. He ran both of his hands down his face before putting his glasses back on.

“Are you doing okay over there?” Levi asked after a moment.

“Yes...no….maybe. I do not know right now. I am worried about Eren. I am worried about my friends. I am worried about that damn file. It may have more information that I am not ready to know about the shitty Reiss family. My mother was the only surviving Fritz. Now she’s gone and the Reiss family couldn’t even be bothered to care about her passing. Just because she married Grisha. Her entire life was ruined by that man.”

“But she did love him.”

“Unfortunately for everyone involved, she went to her death loving him. Have you read the file?” Zeke asked as he looked at Levi.

“Yeah, there’s some very interesting things in there. You should give it a read,” Levi said before he stood up. “And Eren’s fine. He’s better than the last time I saw him. I’d say something if he wasn’t.”

“Yes, I suppose you would.”

“Read the damn file.”

“I will. I will read it this week.”

“Good,” Levi said before he walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

----------

The snow was picking up as Mikasa watched it fall. She still hated the snow. She hated driving in it more than anything. She had been surprised when Levi had told her he was taking Eren to therapy and not to worry about it. After feeding the dogs and taking them on a walk, she had begun her daily chores. They hadn’t taken as long as Mikasa would have liked.

So she sat in the sun room watching the snow. She was worried about Levi and Eren’s return. She was worried if Sasha and Historia had made it to the indoor farmer’s market safely.

“Stop staring at it,” Ymir said before poking Mikasa in the shoulder. “Historia and Sasha are fine. I’m sure Levi and Eren will be back soon.”

Mikasa simply nodded.

“Still having writer’s block?” Ymir asked as she sat down in a chair.

“Yeah, unfortunately.”

“Maybe you just need a break. You don’t have to write a song everyday, you know.”

“I know it’s just...it’s the way I can get my feelings out, you know? Better than a real journal. I can make allegories and no one will know what I’m talking about.”

“I disagree. Some of us know who your songs are about.”

“Really? Then how many songs have I written about you and Historia?”

“I dunno. Like six.”

Mikasa smirked.

“Wait, is it more?”

“But I thought you knew who my songs are about.”

“Did you write a song about all of us?”

Mikasa nodded.

“How many?”

“A lot.”

“Okay, what song is about Levi and Hange? Because there’s got to be at least one I’m guessing.”

“There’s a few,” Mikasa said before she moved over to her keyboard. “There’s a few just about Levi though.”

"Really? You should play one of them,” Ymir said before she moved over and sat down on the piano bench in front of the keyboard.

Mikasa sat down next to her and began to play.

The song sounded melancholy.

“ {lyrics redacted due to copyright}. ”

Ymir’s father had been a soldier like Levi. It wasn’t something she spoke on very much. She wondered if her father had felt like that. She couldn’t remember much about him. Had what he saw been too much for him in the end?

Mikasa and Ymir hadn’t realized that Levi and Eren had returned. They didn’t know that they were in the living room, hearing every word.

“ {lyrics redacted due to copyright}.”

Eren made his way over to the sun room.

It was a good thing as Levi had started to tear up. He looked at Sawney and Bean. Both were sitting there, wiggling.

Sometimes Levi wondered if he had done right by Mikasa, as every parent did. But to have seen her grow, to see her music grow with her. He was proud of her.

He had ideas of who all the songs were about. It wasn’t rocket science for him to figure out. He and Hange had even made a guessing game out of her music.

“Eren! How long have you been here?” Mikasa said as she stopped playing the piano.

“Just got in with Levi.”

Levi wiped the tears away before making his way over to the sun room with the dogs in tow.

“What are we doing for lunch, brats?” Levi asked as he leaned in the doorway.

“It’s your turn to cook, Ymir,” Mikasa reminded her.

“Alright, so what are we ordering?”

“Hey!” Ymir countered.

“Go see what Annie wants,” Levi said as he walked out of the sun room.

-----------------

The Blouse family farm stall at the indoor farmer’s market was doing very well. In fact, due to Historia’s personality, they were doing much better than they had in previous years.

Sasha didn’t speak much about the year with the drought where they almost lost the farm. Connie’s family had helped so much. She would never be able to repay his family for all the help they had given her family.

This year, the winter crops were doing great, they were preparing for spring corps.

Things were looking up for Sasha.

In fact, Niccolo had finally got the guts to actually call Sasha for once.

And it didn't go well.

In fact, it went in a completely bad direction.

They had been chatting about how Connie was searching for something to take on his date with Ruth Kline. Somehow, Sasha had let it slip that Connie had put a lot of effort into their dates especially after he had taken her virginity.

"Wait, Connie was your first?"

"Uh, yeah. Why does that matter?" Sasha asked.

“But you’re still friends…”

“Yeah? Is that a problem?”

“Is that a problem? Yeah, it’s a big fucking problem.”

“Wait, why? I thought you liked Connie! I thought you guys gamed together.”

“Yeah, we do but that’s besides the point.”

“Please inform me of what the point is then.”

“He’s your first. That’s special, right? That means something. He means something to you.”

“Well, yeah, he’s my best friend. Look, I really don’t like what you’re saying right now.”

“I’m just saying that there’s something there. And you could be tempted.”

“Tempted? What because I can’t control myself? Because I’m not loyal to a relationship that has been nothing but sexting and far too little conversation? Let's not forget that you forgot to tell the name of your band and that Eren was in it.”

“How was I supposed to know that you knew Eren?”

“Gee, I don’t know. The photos on my Instagram? The photos on Facebook? Oh, wait. That would require you to take an active interest in what I actually do.”

“I take an interest in what you do!”

“Then why do our conversations only revolve around sex, band stuff, and your culinary career?”

“Well, that’s because...you don’t really do much.”

“Excuse me?”

“Wait, that came out wrong.”

“This conversation is over.”

“Sasha, wait.”

“No. Fuck off, Niccolo. Don’t call me.”

“Sasha…”

Sasha hung up on him, not wishing to hear anything else. She sat down on her bed, frustrated by the whole situation.

Sure, there was a part of her that understood that Niccolo was just jealous.

But there was literally nothing for him to be jealous of!

Her relationship with Connie was nothing more than platonic now. She loved Connie. She truly did and no one would ever come between them.

They had fallen out of love after high school. It hadn’t been a bad break up or even slightly messy.

Some relationships just run their course and they’re over.

That had been Connie and Sasha but despite that, they had stayed the best of friends. Something that would never change. No matter who they dated.

Niccolo though….

Sasha had hoped that he would step up.

Take her on a real date.

Spend time with her.

But he hadn’t.

Then his jealousy right now?

That wasn’t something Sasha was willing to put up. Her friends came first before whatever romantic partner came along.

If Niccolo didn’t like that, then he was free to leave.

------------

At band practice, everyone noticed the change in Sasha’s mood.

She didn’t have to say anything. She just wasn’t her normal perky self.

“Alright, spit it out,” Ymir said after they finished playing an older song.

“What?” Sasha asked as four girls stared at her.

“Something is bothering you,” Mikasa spoke up next.

““Yes, no. I don’t know. Things aren’t going with Niccolo,” Sasha said.

“Why?” Annie asked.

“Well, there’s the whole we can barely talk to one another in person factor. Oh and he doesn’t like that I’m very good friends with my ex,” Sasha sighed as she leaned up against the wall.

“Does he not realize how small of a town this is? I mean Annie’s ex is building our studio and Armin doesn’t care,” Historia said as she crossed her arms across her chest.

“I guess not. I’m just not going to talk to Niccolo for a few days. Connie and I were years ago! He just happens to be one of my best friends. He’s been seeing Ruth Kline, you remember her? She was in our geometry class. She doesn’t care that Connie and I are still friends. Niccolo should trust me, right?” Sasha crossed her arms across her chest.

“He should. Maybe you’re right about not talking to him for a bit,” Mikasa said.

“I am. I’m not going to let him bring me down. The farm is doing well. We’re getting a studio.”

“There’s my Sasha!” Ymir yelled as she moved behind the drum set and wrapped her arm around Sasha’s shoulders. “But seriously, say the word. He’ll be dead.”

“Ymir, you can’t solve everything with violence,” Historia said as she rolled her eyes.

“Says the girl who saw me at the supermarket and punched me in the face,” Eren said as he leaned in the doorway of the sun room.

“Okay but you kind of deserved that,” Historia defended.

“Yeah, no. You’re right. So who are you killing?” he asked.

“Considering your friends with the enemy, we cannot reveal our plan to you,” Ymir replied.

Annie rolled her eyes, “it’s Niccolo. He freaked out because Connie and Sasha are friends.”

Eren frowned. “Weird. I thought he knew that. Either way, I’m not getting involved but if you want me to talk to him, Sasha….”

Sasha shook her head. “I’m just going to give him some space and then we’ll go from there.”

“I thought you’d be more of a wreck after therapy,” Annie said as she looked at Eren.

“Huh? Oh. No. I’m good. Magath seems to know what he’s doing sometimes.”

“He was even okay directly afterwards,” Mikasa chimed in.

“Thanks for your confidence.”

“No, it’s just...when I went to therapy, I used to feel emotionally drained afterwards,” Annie explained.

“You went to therapy?”

“I did too. It’s a shitty little thing they force you into when you’re in foster care. So they can say they’re taking care of your mental health. It’s mostly just a therapist who doesn’t want to be there and asking you a shit ton of questions without actually listening to your answers,” Ymir said before she began just playing random chords on her base.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Annie said with a shrug.

“I had to go for a while after my parents died. It wasn’t too bad,” Mikasa shrugged.

“If you get a therapist that actually cares, you’re lucky. The ones assigned by the government...it’s clear they hate it there,” Ymir said before she stopped playing.

“Try being in the military,” Levi called from the living room.

“Does Zeke get paid by the military?” Ymir asked.

“No. He just specializes in PTSD,” Eren explained.

“Why that of all things?” Sasha asked.

“I don’t know. His mentor did too. He’s really proud of Zeke. His name is Tom Ksaver and he had a pretty messed up past from what Zeke told me.”

“Alright, Jaeger. Get out. We’ve got to practice,” Ymir said before playing her bass again.

#mmtylif #my writing

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ncvcmbcrflush · 4 years ago

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It is 1am and i just finished s2, so this is gonna be long and rambling and misspelled and im sorry okay?

I am not thrilled with the writing of klaus this season, can I just say? They completely undid all of his substantial development in s1, while also removing a good chunk of his positive qualities.

There were scenes where s1!klaus shined through (any of the scenes with Allison and vanya, mainly, and i was really worried abt the scenes with bby!Dave but they were handled really well imo) but those scenes were vastly overshadowed by the unnecessary cruelty? Why did they make my boy so mean this season, I am asking this question for real. S1!klaus was wild and a disaster and heartbreaking, but he was also so kind, and willing to grow as a person in ways that his siblings actively avoided most of the time.

How do you go from beautifully empathetic s1!klaus crying in response to his abusive father's suicide, protesting luther locking up vanya and later being so adamant that they take vanya back in time with them that he literally clings to her feet, to s2!klaus who seems to not care much about anything or anyone at all?? The man is dead in heaven with his father telling him point blank what a let down he is, and he still has enough love in him to cry for him, but 3 years pass and suddenly he doesn't shed a tear for his brother who just died saving their sister?? They took away so much of his emotionality and I do not understand why.

S1!klaus also absolutely would have been open to trying possession with Ben imo, and we could have avoided the intensely uncomfortable possession sequence, which should not have been played off as a joke because it wasn't funny at all, and instead just highlights how little autonomy klaus actually has- but that is a rant that needs way more brain power and research lmao.

S1!klaus also would never have hid ben from his siblings, after spending literal years telling them that ben was there with them??? He would not have done that.

And the scene where they try to save vanya was intensely ooc in my opinion- even high off his ass klaus is quick to react and jump into action- helpful or otherwise (throwing the fire extinguisher, improvising at the prosthetics lab for 5, trying to save luther in the club, running into the theater when they hear gunshots despite having no idea how to use his powers offensively, even in s2 when he finds allison at the protest) and I refuse to believe he would need to be pushed into trying to save vanya, who he has put his life at risk to save before.

The cult thing will be getting a post of its own because I have so many feelings about that whole deal but I again, am too incoherent currently.

I loved him and allison so so much, and he and vanya just break my heart together bc they are such opposite sides of the same coin and the show doesn't seem interested in exploring that whatsoever? I was a bit bummed to not really see him interact with the boys at all though. He and Diego seemed pretty close in s1, 5 and klaus have some good scenes together, and he and luther had some good interactions at the end of s1 as well, and i wish they had kept going with that.

It just feels like they were so busy with the others, and klaus got lost along the way. We do nothing with his powers except for the possession thing, like literally besides ben and the two ghosts at the very end of the last episode klaus doesn't use his powers at all during the entire season! I loved watching everyone else kind of come into their own, but that just never happened for klaus this season- if anything, he devolved.

And I think as a side effect of fucking up klaus, they fucked up his relationship with ben, and the other boys to a lesser extent, as well.

S1 ben and klaus is what i would expect from a pair of siblings stuck together for 17 years- nagging and sarcastic and judgemental but also loving and close and they work well together. They are both dumbasses who do things like play patty cake to test ben's tangibility, and decide that tossing a bowling ball is a good way to prove that ben is present.

S2 ben and klaus are entirely antagonistic; more in line with luther and diego in s1. I have seen lots of comments saying that anyone upset with ben and klaus's dynamic in s2 doesn't have siblings, and to that i have to say- people who think their dynamic in s2 is normal don't have abusive parents. There are lines that you absolutely do not cross, and comparing a sibling to your abuser is one of them. And you don't need to have siblings to know that dismissing the death of a loved one like, isn't a good thing to do? This is especially jarring given their relationship in 2019 and as children- there is no set up for this kind of behavior from either of them.

And the others were just so overall dismissive of klaus in a way that goes beyond just sibling annoyance. During the family dinner no one bats an eye when ben jumps into him, causes his body to jerk around, and literally says that he's ben?? He lies on the floor of the elevator looking like death and we don't so much as ask what's wrong? Klaus pukes out the contents of 7 fully grown humans practically and no one offers a tums, or a ride to the damn hospital?? Like wasn't diego a fuckin cop, he should know that none of this is the result of an overdose??? As far as i can recall,, klaus doesn't even use drugs in this season? We see him drink but that's it unless I'm forgetting, which is entirely possible since it is now 2am lmao. And they just play it off as jokes, we are meant to find this funny?

And just like, he wasn't involved in the actual plot of this season much, if at all, besides being a largely unwilling catalyst for ben. Nothing would change in this season if they had cut him out completely, and i really hate that.

I'm not upset at all really- despite sounding upset and writing a long ass rant lmao- the let down of one character doesn't ruin the season for me, and honestly, given how other shows have failed me this year (looking at you, the politician) , i count this season as a win overall. Luther especially has changed so much for the better, and he was probably the highlight of this season. I'm just bummed because klaus was s u c h a good character in season one, easily one of the most interesting characters, and they did nothing with him this season.

#tua season 2 #tua season two #tua #the umbrella academy #tua spoilers #tua rant #i had feelings im sorry #coherant breakdown coming soon lmao #tua salt #it's not really salt but also it is? idk #klaus hargreeves

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whitleyschn33 · 4 years ago

Note

Hey, I don't mean to bother you again, but if you're still feeling up to it, I'd still like to see your opinions on each member of the Schnee family. No pressure if you don't want to do it though; I still appreciate seeing whatever you do post.

Hey!

You’re not bothering me, trust me. My motivation for... well, everything, but this blog in particular fluctuates pretty wildly, and that means that asks can sit in my inbox for months. The world going to hell hasn’t helped much. Also, every single time I’ve tried to write this, I’ve ended losing chunks of it cause I was too dumb to just type this in a word doc and copy-paste, so that’s been frustrating, to say the least.

Now that I’ve gotten smarter, though, let’s get into the Schnees!

Jacques

I have mixed feelings about how he was (potentially) written out of the show (and I have a feeling I’m going to be saying that a lot in this reply). I said in this post awhile back that I didn’t want Jacques to become an agent of Salem because something like that would most likely become the focal point of his asshole-ness and shove everything else to the side. That feeling holds true, but not really in the way I had been expecting.

How he ended up benefiting Salem, I’m perfectly good with. Him not knowing about Salem or Watts’ motives for making the deal with him, making the deal because it of how it would benefit him and not to serve Salem/kill people - that I’m good with. He was an unknowing pawn Watts/Salem manipulated around the board, but not a mustache-twirling villain all on board with working with the genocidal maniac/serving on her council of villains, and that’s all I really wanted - for him to not be a knowing member of Salem’s board of evil. Being part of a group that desires global destruction just doesn’t fit his motives – can’t make money off people if they’re all dead.

However, the fact that that’s why he was arrested - that his downfall was due to and focused solely on being involved in a Salem plot that just popped up this volume rather than anything to do with his treatment of the Schnees or the Faunus - that kinda rankles. This goes back to the ask I answered a while back - the focus on all the new plots and characters that meant a lot of the old stuff that’s been built up was shoved aside. Jacques being taken down feels like it should have been this huge emotional climax, tensions running high with all of the Schnees there and a huge release of all of those tensions as Jacques gets taken down for the crimes that we as the audiences most revile him for – his treatment of the Schnees. Instead it was… none of that. Jacques is arrested by Weiss for his aid to Watts… and she promptly cracks a joke about it to kill the tension. Winter is able to get in a decent snap at him, but that’s it from her. The entirety of Jacques’ arrest is focused on the heating crisis. He’s dragged off, and only Willow and Whitley get to witness and react to it, and even that’s just a look from Willow and Whitley running off looking completely done with everything – they don’t even react with each other. There’s nothing in Jacques’ downfall about his abuse to his wife and children or even the Faunus, it’s all the election and Watts – plot points that don’t hold nearly as much weight to the audience as ones that have been set up for years.

So, TLDR for Jacques: I actually hope this isn’t the last we see of him, because that would be a disappointing way to end the Schnee’s arc as a family. At the very least, I hope we get to see him talked about between Winter, Willow, and Whitley if/when they actually get to talk to each other.

Willow

Mixed Feelings: Round Two.

Her design? Love it. Her conversation with Weiss? Gold. Willow as a character? A bit more involved than I would’ve thought from how very non-existent she’s been up until now and implied to have been in Weiss’s life, but I can roll with her being a bit more aware than I would’ve gone with. Willow’s role in this volume? Ehhhhhhhh….

I hate that she literally just has a camera hidden in Jacques’ office and recorded the entire thing. It seems like such a cheap way of Weiss getting the information she needed, and comes out of nowhere after there was already a way for her to get the information set up in Whitley. Seriously – we already had Whitley established as having seen Watts, seen Jacques’ reaction to him, look suspicious at Watts, and hear at least the man’s first name. Whitley absolutely had the information Weiss needed – so why the hell pull “Willow actually has cameras set up everywhere” out of thin air? And actually – wouldn’t Jacques have his office swept for cameras and bugs on the regular? You know, like the head of an extremely powerful organization and high-profile target of at least one major terrorist group probably would? To prevent something like this exact situation from happening? I just find it hard to believe that she could’ve set them up for long without being found, and setting them up just before something important to the plot happened in that room is just very convenient.

And like, there’s actually no reason that it needed to be that way. Willow and Weiss could have had the same conversation, just swap out the lines about the cameras with “I don’t know, but I know who would – your brother”, and you can even have Weiss still say that he wants nothing to do with her and Willow agree with her “you left him here with us” line, prompting Weiss to seek him out to get the information she needs and maybe even have a heart-to-heart with him. Whitley wouldn’t even have to give up the information in that conversation – he could be incredibly stubborn about it and unwilling to help until Weiss is called into a meeting about the heating crisis, which Whitley would absolutely follow into to listen whether he’s invited or not, and hearing what’s going done, decide to step up and come clean, realizing if he doesn’t, thousands of people will die. I can actually picture it in my head, and it would be so much better than just “Oh, yeah, I got cameras that recorded the entire nefarious conversation.”

And I’ve spent this entire section not really talking about Willow. Uhh… again, I really like her design. I like that she’s wearing purple, a color no other Schnee wears (except… Whitley with that wine… hmmm) – a mixture of red and blue, her freedom being drowned in something else until it’s completely tainted. Her voice is good, and for the most part, I really do like her conversation with Weiss. I also love that she finally points out what me and other Whitley fans have been screaming for ages – that you can’t expect someone that you basically abandoned (in his eyes) to look favorably on you, and I like that she acknowledges her own role in that, that she’s been a poor parent as well, and actively a detriment to Whitley.

TLDR, I like Willow, I just hate the damn cameras that seem to only exist for this plot point (since if they existed before, shouldn’t Weiss being hit be what they were meant to capture?).

Winter

Best girl, hands down. Not kidding, Winter basically carried this volume for me – rational, yet having very human reactions to things while recognizing that the emotional response isn’t necessarily the right one, the star of a badass fight with Cinder in which her Aura breaks but she still goes on fighting and holding her own against a damn Maiden, an awesome new outfit, wonderful conversations with Penny and just a very interesting relationship with her overall, actually gets to fight back against Jacques to his face – is there any point where this woman doesn’t exceed all my expectations?

I wasn’t a huge Winter fan before this volume, but I’ve successfully been converted. Second favorite Schnee for sure.

Weiss

On thin ice. Still my favorite of the RWBY crew, but considering how much of a nose dive the other three (in particular Ruby) took in this volume, that’s not saying a lot. A lot of what irks me with Weiss are… little moments. Implying that Winter shouldn’t trust Ironwood because he “could” be keeping secrets when she’s the one lying while Ironwood has been nothing but honest, the implication that Winter isn’t capable of making her own choices in regards to the military and the Maiden and that Ironwood must have been grooming her (I really hate this implication, both for trying to tear Ironwood down and for trying to rob Winter of her own agency – like, joining the military was her choice, her escape from Jacques, and you want to turn that into some kind of long game manipulation on Ironwood’s part? You want to prove Jacques of all people right in that he “stole” Winter, rather than Winter making her own choices and Ironwood recognizing her abilities and offering her the Maiden’s powers? Really?), trying to brush aside Ironwood’s concerns about just how much RWBY has done behind his back, calling Mantle “her home” when it’s never been that in front of Marrow who is almost certainly from Mantle – just, a lot of little things that I really dislike, not to mention that this is probably the worst design she’s had. But there hasn’t been anything that’s just blatantly ruined her for me, and she remains the most interesting and well executed character of RWBY for me.

TLDR, a lot of bratty moments that push me away from her, but still holds promise.

Whitley

My poor boy! He finally got more screentime and some of our headcanons comfirmed, but made the butt of a joke that could’ve easily been replaced with character development and underutilized so much. I’d say mixed feelings, but no – love his character, hate how he was used would probably be the best summary. Of course, I’m very much biased, but let’s not let something like that stop me.

More screentime! And letting him talk to someone other than Weiss! His banter with Ironwood was good, seeing his reactions to Jacques, how afraid and timid he was, was heartbreaking, and even if it didn’t go anywhere, his suspicion of Watts was nice to see. It’s always sweet to see headcanons confirmed too – the painting of him playing the piano was nice, and even if I’d have rather had it come out of his own mouth, Willow’s confirmation of him feeling abandoned by Weiss was such a satisfying thing to hear.

On the other hand, I absolutely hate the wine prank. It was way too drawn out and petty – seeing so much joy on JNR’s face while setting it up over the course of a whole minute and using an stack of food half his size to toss onto him – it was way too over the top. If they had to go for the food thing, having Oscar (or someone else, but Oscar is the one without a huntsman license, so he’s more believably clumsy) just pretend to trip with a regular plate and get it on his shirt would’ve been just fine, and we could’ve gotten a nice interaction between Whitley and someone new and get some character development. But nope. We got to have RBYJNR take way too much glee in dumping a mountain of food on a boy they’ve never met before for… talking to his sister and unwittingly getting in their way. It just puts a bad taste in my mouth.

And of course, what I talked about in Willow’s section, the set up of him seeing Watts going absolutely nowhere. Seriously – you set up the perfect opportunity, and then took an out-of-nowhere cop out. It feels like such a squandered set-up, and really disappoints me.

At least we actually got him reacting to Jacques, and it was given an appropriate emotion and fitting cinematography. I love the shot of Whitley sitting all alone on the stairs, watching the only person that actually gives him attention being dragged away without explanation, and seeing the weariness and sadness in his expression as he looks up – I love it, I love it so much. The last bit of hope that they may actually treat my boy right in the end…

TLDR: My boy!

And there you have it! Months late, my thoughts on the Schnee after the most recent volume! How will these change after volume 8? Hopefully for the better, but we’ll have to wait and see!

Thank you for the ask, and once again, sorry for the wait. I may try and take a few more hits at my inbox, but that’ll have to wait for tomorrow, since I’ve got work in the morning.

Have a good night, and stay safe!

#rwby #weiss schnee #winter schnee #whitley schnee #willow schnee #jacques schnee #rwby7 #ask reply

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crimeronan · 5 years ago

Note

i wanna hear more about your headcanon of declan as autistic (no pressure! only if u want to)

oh ariana we’re really in it now

not all of these bullet points are specifically related to autism bc this just turned into a post about how fond i am of declan. however. autistic declan lynch rights here we go

speech

declanisms

really, keeping a list of action-based conversation starters to meet your goals that all sound like something a caricature of a high-level business executive would say... honey

memorizing clever turns of phrase and the cadence of storytelling

and refusing to ever use this love of language in public lest it make him vulnerable or ruin anything he’s built

having practiced regulating his vocal tone and inflection to make them both as normal and as free of personality as possible

being unable to modulate his vocal tone and inflection when he’s Not actively concentrating on regulating them - speaking impulsively from a place of upset, getting excited about things, etc

physicality

having also practiced his physicality to appear as unthreatening and unobtrusive as possible

mirroring strangers, casual acquaintances, criminal associates

actively schooling himself not to talk with his hands; natural storytelling comes with gesturing and physical involvement

having pleasant conversations and being pleasant to exist around while managing to have absolutely no friends

anxious stomachaches

nervous tics

refusing to allow himself comfortable clothing or a comfortable living space despite seeming to want these things

deciding he can have nice shoes, as a treat (doesn’t have anything to do with neurodivergence i just think it’s cute)

internal emotions

Everything Is Horrible, All The Time, But That’s Fine Because That’s Just How Life Is For Me And I’ve Accepted It

deeply unhappy, deeply bored, deeply exhausted, deeply terrified

given up on dreams and ambitions because they will never be accessible to someone like him (one of those things that in-narrative isn’t autism-related, but sure can be a hashtag relatable feel)

happiness, excitement, joy, any positive emotions are all “dangerous” because they represent a loss of control

zero to one hundred IMMEDIATELY in terms of anger, manic excitement, terror, misery, self-flagellation

constantly self-regulating, compartmentalizing, putting aside, and refusing to act on emotions despite feeling Incredibly Deeply

anxiety

obsessing, catastrophizing, making contingency plans, exploring bad outcomes, regretting past actions literally every single second of every day

aforementioned physical anxiety manifestations

resigned to ronan and matthew’s eventual deaths even when things are Mostly Okay

convinced that if and when something happens to ronan or matthew, it will be his fault

none of these things are autism-related specifically, there’s just something in his repetitive thoughts / methods of self-soothing / ways of internalizing trauma that's..... a feeling

child development

one of those kids who would have been called “precocious”

had developed a system for watching/protecting ronan and trying to convince ronan not to dream things by age five

specific interests in things deemed uninteresting or unimportant

didn’t engage in the same play behavior most kids his age would

got overwhelmed and cried over liking a gift too much

consciously aware of niall’s disdain for him, aurora’s ephemeral nature, and ronan’s dangerousness to himself at age five

some of these things are definitely exacerbated or fully caused by a childhood of emotional neglect and endangerment; autism reading integrates with this rather than replacing it. i strongly feel declan would still have been a “precocious” child with a healthy happy parental upbringing as well

sense of responsibility

extremely stressed by any situation he can’t control

will attempt to control situations beyond his jurisdiction to minimize this

studies so many parenting books after technically becoming ronan and matthew’s caretaker because he has no frame of reference for parenting and does not trust his instincts

“if you want something done right, do it yourself” a life motto by declan lynch

“everything is my fault, all the time” a life motto by declan lynch

“except when it’s dad’s or ronan’s fault” a pretty fair addendum by declan lynch

mental stimulation

so unbelievably bored with his life situation

THRILLED any time he gets to play games or engage in clever conversation - seen a little in his “crime makes me feel alive” vibes, his back-and-forth banter with jordan

won’t let himself get engaged in things because passion feels unsafe

enjoys himself for about one hour of one single night and then immediately starts cracking to pieces about how living in a constant state of mental dissatisfaction is killing him slowly

somehow manages to be surprised by this turn of events

interests

he hides art he loves in a murder attic like a feral cat who refuses to eat in front of people. i don’t even need to get into this

absolutely immediately enchanted to the point of self-labeled stupidity by watching jordan paint

infodumping about art history

trading art interests with jordan bc he’s legitimately interested and excited by what she knows and feels passionate about

this entire post should just be the murder attic. declan oh my fucking god

aforementioned collecting of language he likes

the whole tyrian purple thing. again. declan oh my fucking god

emotional intimacy

craves emotional intimacy but is TERRIFIED of being known and/or being rejected

is convinced he can never and will never have emotional intimacy in his life

has all the stamina of a wet tissue in terms of keeping his emotional secrets when jordan cottons onto them

gets annoyed by relationships with people who want emotional connection but continues playacting through the motions of said relationships in the hopes of being less lonely

comforting people / expressing genuine care

declan attempted to dispense comfort. “everybody dies, matthew”

i have to put attempted to dispense comfort on the list again. oh my god. to declan’s brain, emotional comfort is a vending machine that’s eaten ten dollars in a row and is now falling on him after he made the mistake of shaking it

declan regretted saying anything. [immediately says the worst thing possible]

write your routine, ronan. now. now. write it. write it down. (because i’m worried you’re going to kill yourself but have no idea how to say that so i have to focus on concrete action.)

every time he’s tried to say “i’m worried about you” and instead gone “why are you inconveniencing me this way.” king

having no sense of how to communicate feelings or solve emotional conflicts through talking despite attempting to do these things frequently, AFTER STUDYING OUT OF BOOKS, to his detriment

preferring to take care of people silently and subtly through protecting them and making things easier for them, extremely similarly to how ronan does

irritability

constantly in a low level fugue state of annoyance

runs on caffeine and fumes

very thin patience for anyone else’s inability to stick to plans, manage time, regulate emotion, do their jobs, follow through on commitments, etc

the unceasing “i’m not unhappy. i’m not unhappy. i’m not unhappy” while at work screams of “i am in sensory/emotional hell all the time and checking slightly out of this plane to deal”

loses control all at once, when he does lose control

drains energy like a broken cellphone battery from the effort of combating misery, anxiety, mental overload, boredom, masking all thoughts and feelings

bonus content: parents

the actual in-universe reasons for these things aren’t related to neurodivergence as far as we know, but

growing up as the unfavored child whose interests are constantly ignored or shut down

seeing your siblings get preferential treatment for no reason

being silenced or punished every time you express dissatisfaction or unhappiness or anger

being considered disposable

internalizing the idea that you’re a burden unless you’re worth something to others

that’s a real common lived realty for autistic ppl

bonus content: brothers

i read all three lynch brothers as being on the spectrum and all having different experiences with it

i read matthew as having had the inverse experience of declan, in which he flaps and stims and chews loudly and talks a mile a minute and expresses himself with excitement and passion and bouncing

& he has Not been punished for it or made to feel like it should be hidden

declan’s ferocious protectiveness of matthew is in many ways bc he wants to keep matthew from suffering the same way he has

differing autism spectrum experiences fit neatly into that

ronan and declan’s experiences are in some ways wildly different

in other ways, though

going zero to one hundred on the emotional spectrum, defaulting to anger to avoid fully feeling internal chaos, being unable to understand the other’s feelings or thought processes / making wildly incorrect conclusions about them, preferring to show feelings through action rather than words, struggling to translate genuine emotion into expression without coming across as a dick

they are Very Similar

declan and ronan do a lot of “dog growls at its own reflection” about this because neither of them is more furious than when they see their own perceived shortcomings in the other

i’m positive i’ve forgotten some things and also positive i have not communicated all of these thoughts as effectively as i would like but i have been typing this post for a thousand years. here you go

#trc #cdth #declan lynch #i love my idiot son #suicide m #ableism -#Anonymous

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lilacandladybugs · 4 years ago

Note

What’s your current relationship with god? I’m very curious lmao

I’m sorry if this sounds incomprehensible and rambly and disjointed or pretentious. I care a lot more about this than almost anything else in the world and I wish I could do a better job of explaining myself. But I feel like why I believe in God or what my relationship with him is like is like trying to explain who I am. And I’m just the accumulation of everything I’ve ever experienced or that I think and I feel like it’s really important that I communicate it correctly so here is my attempt.

Here’s a video that’s really good that I think will give some good background information. If you don’t want to read all of this, the video is probably enough to explain.

youtube

TLDR: This isn’t the way things are supposed to be. Death isn’t supposed to happen, it isn’t a part of the natural order of things. God loved us so much he died to fix it, and rose again to defeat death. God loves me and I love him, and I’ve never found peace or fulfillment like that in anything else.

I hope this makes sense anon let me know if you have any questions or if I misinterpreted your question.

TW suicide // grief // abuse // rape mention (not v bad or graphic or anything)

Long version:

I think I've always thought that there's something naturally (for lack of a better word) poetic about existing. Not really meaning that it's good, but kind of that everything feels really purposeful it seems to flow together like an old epic. Everything seems intensely meaningful to me.

I've always thought that life was tragic. That death is a fracture in the way things are, like we live in the ancient ruins of a long lost civilization.

And I've always thought that life seems like an incomprehensibly wonderful gift, because how can there be tragedy if there isn't anything worth losing? But somehow it seems like peace is the basic way things are, that normalcy isn't normal at all but like this status quo of goodness which makes bad things happening not only heart breaking but surprising.

Reconciling all of those ideas is really confusing.

I'm a strong proponent of thinking analytically about what you believe since the answer we choose to the question of whether or not God exists is like quite literally something we bet our lives on. We bet our life that God exists or that he doesn't, that things have meaning anchored in an external source or that they don't.

So while I grew up a Christian I've never felt really dead in it. I want to be uncomfortable. I want to be stubborn in asking questions and I don't have a problem with questioning authorities on why they believe what they believe—especially if they really confidently assert it. I want to be able to know things and understand them.

My junior year of high school three of my closest childhood friends died, and several others almost died. I remember sitting up at like two am listening to twenty one pilots self titled album just like seething and exhausted asking lord why would you abandon me like that?

Some other really horrible things happened to people that I cared about, I felt abandoned and rejected by Christians just for being broken, some of them caused it or contributed to the trauma and abuse. How could people who claimed the name of God do that?

My debate partner's best friend killed himself the same year that my friends died, and he became an atheist and I stayed a Christian. We fought about it a lot. I really seriously considered becoming an atheist.

The thing that I couldn't accept was the lack of eternality.

Really ironically I think I stayed a Christian for the same reason that my friend became an atheist. We were both asking why all of the living world is crying out in anguish. We both wanted to die. We both were angry. We both were horrified.

My friend thought that the question of “where is God?” was harder to answer than “why is there meaning to death?”

I'm a Christian because I'm horrified. He's an atheist for the same reason.

If you don’t feel like reading it, here’s the TLDR: there is no reason for someone to do something or not do something if God isn’t there to tell them to. There isn’t a moral grounding for law.

Arthur Leff was an atheist law professor at Yale in the eighties, and he wrote about the moral grounding for laws in his essay, Unspeakable Ethics, Unnatural Law. The question he was asking was what can we do to ground morality? What can we do to prove objectively that there are things one ought to do and things one ought not do?

I am unwilling to accept that. There is something evil about abuse, neglect, rape, torture. There is something about these things that violates human rights, human dignity. There's something about them that goes against objective moral law.

But without God there is no moral law. So I wouldn't be able to say, "you should never rape someone, because rape is wrong." And everything that I had experienced flew in the face of that.

Dr. Leff wrote this about that question;

“All I can say is this: it looks as if we are all we have. Given what we know about ourselves and each other, this is an extraordinarily unappetizing prospect; looking around the world, it appears that if all men are brothers, the ruling model is Cain and Abel. Neither reason, nor love, nor even terror, seems to have worked to make us "good," and worse than that, there is no reason why anything should. Only if ethics were something unspeakable by us, could law be unnatural, and therefore unchallengeable. As things now stand, everything is up for grabs.

Nevertheless:

Napalming babies is bad.

Starving the poor is wicked.

Buying and selling each other is depraved.

Those who stood up to and died resisting Hitler, Stalin, Amin, and Pol Pot-and General Custer too-have earned salvation.

Those who acquiesced deserve to be damned.

There is in the world such a thing as evil.

[All together now:] Sez who?

God help us.”

In the end, it comes down to this; Do I believe that the complexity of the universe is because there was someone intelligent actively involved in its design, do I believe that information, reason, logic, emotion, and morality exist and are reliable because they have grounding in God’s identity? Do I believe that God is who he says he is?

And I guess the answer to those questions was yes.

I saw God. He was there in the stillness - in the sunrise and sunset and at 2 am after I couldn't cry anymore. I felt him. And I know part of his goodness that I wish I never had to know. I felt like I was lying breathless bleeding out in a gutter watching the stars. Almost like a pause - just a moment in time where I was hurt enough, still enough to hear his voice.

One of the most important things I learned is that life is not hopeless. If life is a story, then the last chapter of the book has already been written. This is the premise of the song It is Well with My Soul by Horatio G. Spafford.

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, God has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, o my soul”

The powers of evil and darkness can take away my friends, my sanity, my family, and even my life, but God has already saved me, and I can find peace in spite of my circumstances. Three of my friends died, but God has already conquered death. I feel powerless, but God is powerful. I feel abandoned, but God loves me so much that he died a horrible torturous death for me. Living in light of that is peace.

Whenever I felt like I couldn’t keep going there would be something to stop me. I heard his voice in music, and in my friends that held me when I cried, and in morning glories on my morning walk. I kept lists of all of the times this happened, every time that someone encouraged me to keep going, every time that someone would quote a Bible verse when I was crying out for God to answer me, every time that the world paused. Everything asked me the same question, do you think it means nothing? Do you think that there is a direction that we’re going? Are we coming from nothing and going toward nowhere?

I had friends who heard him too. He was so gentle to us. I wasn’t able to go to church, I wasn’t able to listen to worship music but the LGBTQ+ community took care of me, they were isolated from church as well. There was enough for me in that God promised he would take care of me, and he did. He died for me. He talked to my trans friend and said, “listen, your parents have rejected you and said you’ll never be your son, but I am a good father. I love you. Be my son instead.”

God mourned with me. He saw everything and he was angry. I was able to breathe because I knew that in the end there will be justice for abuse victims, because God said that he is the holder of justice, and vengeance will be his.

When one of my friends was hospitalized I stood outside during the beginning of a thunderstorm and watched the clouds and the sky darken and lightning flash across the sky.

Even the wind and the sea obey him. He asked me if I trust him.

I guess my answer was yes.

In spite of everything that I went through, I was more thoroughly convinced that I ever was before that things matter. I was convinced that abuse is evil. I was convinced that death is an abomination. I was convinced that these laws of morality are woven into the fabric of the universe. I was convinced that God died to save us from that reality. I was convinced he loved me.

I still am

#asks #about #eslyea #religion tw #religion #christianity #christianity tw #suicide tw #grief tw #suicide #grief #rape #rape tw #just mentioned but still #thanks for asking #c:#hope this is coherent

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queencarolinemikaelson · 5 years ago

Text

That One Time Caroline Forbes Lied to the Truth Circle

//klaroline au week// - day 7 - trope x trope best friend’s little sister x first time sex This is a long one, folks. NSFW. Enjoy!

xxx

There were many moments in Caroline Forbes’ life that led her to this excruciating moment.

God, dammmmit, how she wished to be literally anywhere else but here.

But she wasn’t anywhere else. She was here, and this was happening.

“Tyler after the football finals, in Junior year,” Elena stated.

“No, wasn’t it Matt? At that New Year’s party?” Bonnie chimed in. “Sorry, Bekah.”

“I’m well aware of Matt’s romance before me with not one, but two in this circle.”

“You know, Caroline,” Katherine said. “I don’t think I actually know this story?”

“Wait, I don’t think even I know this story, either,” said Elena.

“I don’t know if I want to know this story,” Stefan mumbled.

Bloody hell, bloody hell.

She could feel the honest truth forcing its way from her, she could not defy the sanctity of Truth or Dare! The mixture of honour and tequila in her blood wouldn’t allow it!

“What was the question again?” Caroline asked, feigning ignorance to buy a tiny bit more time.

“Who did you lose your virginity to?” the group chorused.

It was a story Caroline had kept as close to her chest as her heart itself, for more reasons than she could count, the main of which were sitting in that circle right now.

In a somewhat out of body experience – maybe brought on by the quart of tequila in her system, or maybe just from the sheer mortification of it all – Caroline could see very clearly every moment in her life that progressed her on this path. Whence she was but a wee four-year-old, all the way to the 22-year-old she was now.

It all started when her father left her mother, admitting he love for another man. It rocked the little conservative town of Mystic Falls, and left the little Forbes family a little littler. But at the end of the day, Caroline loved her father, loved her step father, and loved that they were happy.

Then there was her mother. Elizabeth Forbes, while rightly distraught about the divorce, was self-aware enough to know that her relationship with Bill was not true love. So when her high school sweet heart happened to move back to Mystic Falls, two motherless kids in toe, Liz took it as a sign from the universe. Only two years later, Liz Forbes became Liz Salvatore, and Caroline gained another step-father and two brothers, Damon and Stefan.

Caroline supposed Damon deserved an honourable mention in this memory-lane-trip. Because, at seven years her senior, Damon was a built-in babysitter for the youngest in their blended family. And Liz and Giuseppe grew quite comfortable with that fact, thank you very much. But as soon as Damon got his first set of car keys, there was no way in Mystic Falls – or even in hell, for that matter – he was sticking around to babysit his 9-year-old sister?

Of course, once Damon would no longer babysit Caroline, the Forbes/Salvatore parents just had to find someone. After all, Damon wouldn’t do it – because “DUH I have a life? Why are you trying to ruin to it?” – and Stefan, well Stefan was old enough at thirteen to get himself to and from school and extra-curricular activities. But he was certainly not old enough to mind Caroline. So who better to ask than Elijah Mikaelson. He was polite, whip smart, gracious, kind and the most charming teen in town. Elijah’s role in this entire saga, however, was to come into play years later.

And of course, of course, Stefan played a huge part. Stefan was her other big brother, and he was her yard stick for something that was cool. And, more pertinently, Stefan chose to become best friends with another of the Mikaelsons, Elijah’s younger brother, Klaus. But she would get to Klaus later.

Caroline supposed, there wouldn’t be this story without the rest of the Mikaelson family, would there? Finn, Kol, Rebekah, and Henrik. Finn didn’t really play his part, as innocuous as he was. But the three younger Mikaelsons certainly did, and their mother, Esther. If it hadn’t been for them, the events of that weekend, that Caroline was so reticent to share, happened as a direct result of their existence.

Caroline knew she had to take some responsibility. She had organised tonight’s event. She suggested playing their old high school favourite game. She was there that night. And it took two to tango, after all. But god, couldn’t they just drop it?

Which just brought her back to Klaus. None of this would be possible without Klaus.

Klaus was Stefan’s best friend, since nearly before Stefan was Caroline’s brother. The two had been inseparable their entire middle school lives, with not much changing well into their high school and college life. Klaus was smart, funny, and gorgeous, just like Stefan, and so of course they were quite the dominant pair strutting around Mystic Falls high.

Bloody Klaus. He always starred in the bits of her life she was most closed off about. He was the only one who saw her her bikini strap break when she was 13, leaving her chest completely bare. He’d quickly given her the giant pink flamingo he had been floating on, instructing her to use it to cover herself, while he grabbed a towel she could use. It was a moment that had completely mortified Caroline, but they had never mentioned it again.

He was also there when, at the age of 15, she had gotten tangled in the strappy sandals she was wearing to a party and fallen flat on the bitumen. He’d doubled over laughing, until she sat up dazed, blood running from a nasty, dirty cut on her face. His mirth had vanished and he rushed her to his house, which was much nearer than hers. She was his best friend’s little sister, of course he would look after her. That’s just what good people did. Caroline would never forget his 17-year-old fingers tenderly cleaning her wound, while she fidgeted distractedly. It was another moment they’d never spoken of again.

And of course, he played the starring role in the story they were trying to needle out of her right that very moment. It was a moment he had once again never mentioned again.

“So uhh... the question again…” Beetroot-red-Caroline squeaked.

“Come on, Caroline! Stop trying to weasel your way out of this!”

“A lady never kisses and tells,” Caroline said, positively willing the swelling in her face to go down. “Why are we playing this dumb game anyway?

“Caroline Elizabeth Forbes,” Elena said, sternly. “You will not sully the purity of the truth or dare circle!”

“You’ve been making all of us confess to our deepest darkest secrets for years, because of your insistence upon the integrity of this dumb game,” Bonnie chided.

“Yeah, Caroline,” Marcel drawled. “You made me admit all the stuff I did with Charlotte, while my new girlfriend was in the circle. You can cough up one lousy virginity story.”

Caroline helplessly looked from her friends to her brother, who just shrugged sympathetically. Stefan loved his sister, but she did have quite the way of squeezing people’s deepest secrets out of them.

“You’ve made your bed, Care,” Stefan said, ruffling her hair. “What do you think, Klaus, think she’s gotta suck it up and give us a bit of a story?”

Caroline turned her imploring eyes to Klaus.

“Please, I really don’t want to share this story,” Caroline said pointedly, almost as if she was talking directly to Klaus. “It’s private, you know.”

The protests from the group were instant. Caroline was usually the first person to tell you that you had to be honest and truthful, especially in truth or dare. It was the rules and what a better way to have hilarious fun that making people spill their secrets.

Klaus didn’t know why she was so reticent to sharing her first time story. Tyler had been her boyfriend, nothing saucy to ruffle her beautiful feathers. Just high school sweethearts trying things.

“Guys please,” Caroline beseeched.

“Nope, no way Caroline, those puppy dog eyes will not get you out of this!” Elena said, stubbornly.

“Come on, Care, it can’t be that bad!”

“Tyler wasn’t a bad guy even if he did peak in high school!”

“You gotta tell us!”

“Car-o-line! Car-o-line! Car-o-line!”

Suddenly someone in the group started chanting her name, the same way they chanted U-S-A on game days.

“Car-o-line! Car-o-line! Car-o-line!”

More and more people joined in, until the whole group was shouting, “Car-o-line! Car-o-line! Car-o-line!”, and crowding in on her.

“Fine!” she shouted, a little more aggressively that she would have liked, but it had the desired effect of shutting everyone up.

“I will not tell you who it was with, because that is my business,” she said, pompously. “But it was at that Founders’ Christmas party senior year.”

Before anyone else could protest her caginess, or even respond, Caroline was up and gone.

“The Founders’ Christmas party senior year?” Elena said, confused.

“I wasn’t there when you guys were seniors,” Stefan said.

“Neither was I,” Katherine added, and a number of the Mystic Fall alum nodded their absentia. “Esther hosted it, I think? I remember Elijah complaining about how tense Mama Mikaelson was about it.”

“Yes, that’s right,” Rebekah said, her eyes flicking to Klaus, shrewdly.

“Wait, Klaus, that was the year were there, right?” Stefan said, his brow furrowing, trying to pull details from his mind. “My parents and your mom roped you into going home to stay with Caroline, and help your mom. Do you remember Caroline hanging around anyone?”

“Not to my knowledge, no,” Klaus said, with every ounce of cool, calm, collectedness in the world.

“Caroline was so mad our parents made her have a babysitter,” Stefan chuckled at the memory. “It was probably because she wanted to shag this mystery person without anyone being any the wiser.”

“And none of us were!” Elena said. “I can’t believe she never told us! Why is it such a secret?”

“Who knows,” Kat said. “But also who cares, she’s not here anymore. Truth or dare, Stefan!”

As his best friend chose dare, Klaus sighed in a bit of relief, but also in revelation.

Opting to take a moment to collect his thoughts, Klaus left the circle to get something stronger to drink than beer; a goodly amount of the bottom shelf whiskey to be precise.

He gulped it all in one go because he lied. He lied to the whole truth circle.

Klaus did remember someone hanging around Caroline that weekend.

It was him.

xxx

Four years earlier.

It was four years prior to that fateful night when Elijah’s role in the humiliation had starred.

Elijah was Caroline’s faithful – or fateful as this case may be – babysitter all the way up until she turned 12, and Elijah regretfully moved away from college. Caroline would miss him, as he had been minding her twice to three times a week for the past three years. But when he left, Liz and Giuseppe, fell into the trap many parents do with their youngest, and decided Caroline was definitely mature enough at the ripe old age of twelve to take care of herself after school.

Sometimes she would hang out with Bonnie and Elena. Sometimes she would have an after school activity. Sometimes Stefan would let her tag along to whatever he was doing. But most days though, Caroline took herself home, and hung out by herself until her brother, or parents came home.

It was a good, independent life, even if a tad lonely. Perfect for someone as old as her.

So, imagine when, in her final year of high school, after six whole years of being her own babysitter, Giuseppe and Liz were going to be away for a week on a business trip, turned mini-vacation, and they insisted on finding someone to stay with Caroline. As she was too young to stay by herself, for a whole week after all.

This offended Caroline on many levels.

She was eighteen, for heaven’s sake. She would have school during the day, she’d been a lone ranger in the after school hours for years. She wasn’t suddenly going to be terrified at night by herself?

And what was she supposed to get up to at night anyway? Sure, she was a party animal, and the best party planner her age, but there was absolutely no way any of the year would go to an illicit party at the Salvatore house. Caroline was the daughter of the town sheriff; that wrath was a fate no teenager would willingly bring on.

Caroline made these arguments loudly, infuriatedly, and petulantly. But nope her parents would not have it.

“You can look after yourself sweetie, we know,” they implored her. “But we just don’t want to be worrying about you all alone while we’re trying to relax.”

Caroline’s protests didn’t change, but neither did theirs.

They, of course, asked Stefan first.

“Please Stefan,” they said over the phone. “She’s your sister, and you love her.”

And Stefan did love her. Caroline was his favourite girl in the whole world, and he couldn’t wait until she lived in the same college town as he did so they could party their lives away together. But there was no way in hell he was giving up a weekend just to go home and mind his baby sister. Not this close to finals. Not when he almost convinced Valerie Tulle to finally go out with him.

And especially not because Caroline had text him before their parents even called him, and threatened the life of his Bon Jovi vinyl collection if he agreed.

So Stefan had politely declined his parents, citing a very imminent, very important, but also quite vague exam in his reasoning.

So, the Forbes-Salvatore parents half-heartedly ran the request past Damon.

“Please Damon,” they begged him. “She’s your sister and you love her.”

And Damon did love her, at least begrudgingly – it was hard not to love the bouncy ball of blonde. But there was not a chance that he would leave the office for an entire week, only to drive from New York to Mystic Falls to mind his younger sister.

And especially not when Caroline text him, begging to turn down their parents. She just wanted some alone time.

So he declined his parents – “Wall Street doesn’t just take vacations.”

Maybe if Elijah had never been he babysitter, Caroline’s mother and step-father would have left their search at Stefan and Damon. And given up the whole search as a bad job.

But no.

This was when Liz and Giuseppe even went as far as calling Elijah.

Luckily, for Caroline though, her former babysitter, as touched as he was that they still thought so highly of him, was busy in the first few months of a new job, so was unavailable.

And after that, Caroline honestly thought she had won. Who on earth would they ask? She was 18! She didn’t need a baby sitter. No one in their right mind would agree to baby sitting an 18-year-old.

At least, that’s what she thought, until approximately three days before her parents were due to leave and Liz came in to where Caroline was studying to talk to her.

“So, Klaus is going to be here at about 5pm on Saturday, does that sound okay? You’ll be okay for the rest of the day?”

“Wait, what?” Caroline exclaimed, slightly thrown.

“Klaus is staying here while we’re away this week, remember? I thought I’d run it by him, given that Elijah was always so reliable, and he is, after all, Stefan’s best friend,” Liz said, seemingly baffled that her daughter didn’t know this information. “I told you all this last week?”

“Oh my god, what? No you didn’t?!”

“I did wonder why you didn’t put up more of a fight,” Liz mused. “Well, this isn’t up for discussion, Caroline. He’s basically just here anyway so we don’t have to worry about you here alone at night. Klaus is here for the week, and that’s final.”

And with that, Liz turned on her heel and went back to packing, leaving a tongue tied Caroline in her wake.

And so sat a truly grumpy Caroline that Saturday, waiting exasperatedly for her ‘babysitter’ to arrive.

When the knock at the door came, just after 5pm, as Liz had promised, Caroline pulled open the door a fiery look in her eyes.

“What on earth were you thinking?” she griped, without so much as a ‘hello’. “Did it not occur to you that I’m actually an adult? I don’t need a sitter.”

“Well hello to you too, love,” he drawled, giving her that wicked grin he always gave when he was stirring the pot. “I wasn’t aware that I was so unwanted in this household.”

“Don’t be cute with me, Klaus,” Caroline snipped, not having any of it. “Like, didn’t you even ask Stefan? Did it not cross you little mind to go ‘hey, best friend, your parents want me to babysit your adult sister for a week, why can’t you do it?’”

The final sentence Caroline put on her best mockery of his English accent, and flopped melodramatically onto the nearest couch.

“If you had asked that,” Caroline continued, now addressing the ceiling in the living room. “You would know that they did ask Stefan and he refused because I asked him to. I don’t want baby sitting! I just want to be able to use my house the way I want to for a change!”

Caroline felt her own frown so deep, so petulant, on her face, that she wryly admitted to herself, maybe she wasn’t as mature as she liked to think she was. But that wasn’t the point.

“I could have eaten whatever I wanted. Danced to loud, cringe music. I could have studied with no pants on! And now I don’t have that!”

Klaus just grinned his little grin, and picked up his bag.

“I’m sorry for ruining your no-pants plans, Caroline.”

Which was all he said before trying to dart upstairs to put his bag in the spare room.

“That’s your take away?” Caroline cried, dragging herself from the couch. “That I just wanted to wear no pants for the week? Nothing about the fact I can, as a matter of fact, look after myself!”

Klaus laughed at her, she really looked so completely stubborn and done with him already.

“Love, eat whatever, dance to whatever, wear pants, wear no pants, it’s all the same to me,” Klaus replied. “You can pretend I’m not here as much as you like. In fact, that might be the best outcome for us both.”

With that, and a wink, Klaus shut the spare room door in Caroline’s face, which only served to infuriate the Forbes woman even more.

With another giant huff, Caroline stomped back down the stairs, and flopped again on the living room couch again.

It was a few hours later when Klaus resurfaced.

In those hours, Caroline hadn’t done much more than sulk about her situation, but she also baked a cake, and started cooking dinner, feeling ever so slightly bad about her nastiness and petulance.

He was, after all, just being a good family friend, even if it did irritate Caroline’s personal preferences. And she liked Klaus. Of course she did, she’d know him forever. And it would be a little bit not awful to not have to be alone the entire week.

As he strode down the stairs, the garlic-y smells of a pasta sauce filled his nose.

If he were honest, Klaus had been wary of agreeing to this week. Rightly so, apparently. She was his best friend’s little sister, not exactly the top of the list of activities for a college student.

But soon after he got the call from Liz, and before he had a chance to talk to Stefan, Klaus received a call from his mother, Esther. And Esther told him, in no uncertain terms, he would accept Liz’s offer. Much like Caroline’s, Klaus’ protestations had fallen on unsympathetic ears. Esther’s insistence that Klaus came to stay with Caroline was just as much about her own personal gain. As a self-employed event planner and mother of six, Esther found herself with more to do than sense most of the time.

She was putting on the biggest event of the year for Mystic Falls, and with still three kids at home she thought she may forget to feed them amidst all the kerfuffle which was the week leading up to the Founders’ Christmas party. So, when Liz mentioned asking Klaus to stay with Caroline, Esther knew she would feel much better with an extra pair of hands on deck.

“During the school hours, Niklaus,” Esther said, sternly down the phone. “You will cook food for the fridge, and the freezer, so the kids can help themselves. You will run any errands I need of you. And you will do the school pick up and drop off.”

Klaus had, obviously, groaned, but was secretly glad for the excuse to say yes. He enjoyed going to Mystic Falls, because college sometimes became a little too much. It would be good to unwind a little. And even if his mother was going to be in her high-strung planning mood Klaus could vanish in the evening, because after all, he had an obligation to Caroline.

It would be a nice week.

“So,” Klaus said, leaning on the kitchen bench, feeling a little awkward. Sure he and Caroline had spent a small amount of time alone over their lives, but definitely nothing like this, and definitely not in a number of years.

“So,” Caroline mimicked.

“I suppose, I hardly even know much about you these days, sweetheart,” he said, flashing his signature dimples at her. “Your hopes, dreams, everything you want in life.”

Caroline just scoffed while stirring the pasta, though unexpectedly, even to himself, Klaus was delighted to see a slight blush, and just a feather of a smile settle on her face.

“Come on, Caroline,” he said. “I’m serious! You have to talk to me at some point. I am here all week, remember?”

“Uh! Don’t remind me!” she groaned. “Why did you agree to stay here anyway?”

“My mother is planning the Founders’ Christmas thing next weekend,” Klaus said, picking at some of the carrots Caroline cut for the pasta. “She demanded I agree to stay with you, so I can help her while you’re at school.”

“Why couldn’t she just ask you to stay with her and help her?” Caroline asked.

“I assume because she thought it would be a much more attractive offer for me,” Klaus shrugged. “Here with you is likely to be a lot calmer fro me than if I stay there.”

Caroline nodded, but was distracted from answering, as Klaus tried to nab a couple more bits of vegetable to snack on.

“Hey!” she chided. “That’s to go with dinner, keep your grubby paws off!”

Klaus laughed, and waited until she turned back to the saucepan on the stove, before grabbing a piece anyway and popping them into his mouth.

“I heard that,” Caroline snapped. “See, I’m already regretting you being here.”

From there, the rest of the evening was fine. Caroline was still mildly annoyed she had a babysitter, but, she reasoned, Klaus wasn’t so bad.

If the task had fallen to Elijah, Caroline would definitely have felt obliged to be a host the whole week. If it was Damon, he would have made her be his minion the entire time. If it was Stefan, the week would have been them having a semi-party every night, and Caroline would have gotten absolutely no work done.

So, if there was any outcome that required a babysitter, this was the best one.

Klaus gave her company at meal times, but gave her space when she wanted it.

Though, when school finished on Tuesday, a couple of days later, Caroline felt herself not wanting as much space as usual. It had been a long, boring day at school, and even though cheer practice after school had been fun, Caroline was still looking for a bit of interaction.

“Klaus,” Caroline called as she came in from practice. “Klaus, are you here?”

There was no answer.

Curiously, she nosed her way around the house, looking for her current housemate. There was definite evidence that he was around, his car in the drive for one, but there was not a sound nor a movement to alert her to his whereabouts.

“Ka-lau-ssss,” she said, exasperatedly. “Jeez, I finally start wanting you around the damn house, and now you’re suddenly Harry Houdini!”

“Oh, you want me now do you?”

Caroline jumped about a foot in the air, as Klaus spoke into her ear.

“What on earth is your game?” Caroline shrieked, punching him in the chest. “You’re supposed to be babysitting me! Not trying to kill me!”

Klaus just laughed at her – a habit that was becoming far too common, if you asked Caroline.

“Not trying to kill you, love,” he said, mirth still laced in his voice. “Just trying to entertain myself.”

“Can’t you entertain yourself by getting yourself off, like a normal college student,” Caroline huffed, still trying to slow her heart rate.

Though, her statement didn’t do a great job of slowing her heart rate, as she considered the substance of what she said.

“Been thinking about me getting myself off, sweetheart?” Klaus said, slipping a little flirt into his voice, before he could stop himself.

“No! I just… I was just saying… shut up!” Caroline spluttered, going an excellent shade of pink.

“Come on, love,” he goaded, still with that inexplicable flirt in his voice. “It’s not that disgusting a thought is it?”

His eyes were locked with hers, and she could feel herself crumbling a little under his gaze. He had kissed boys before, and done other things with them, but she’d never really explored much. And it was wildly inappropriate to wonder about her older brother’s best friend as a sexual being, but she definitely found herself doing it in that moment.

She had to shake herself a little after a moment, and unable to find the right way to answer to Klaus’ question, she ignored it.

“I thought we could have pizza for dinner,” Caroline said. “Maybe go for a walk or watch a movie? I’m still full of energy after cheer practice, I don’t want to just sit in my room and ignore you like I did last night.”

Klaus opted to allow for the change of subject.

“Have extra energy, love? I’m sure I can think of something we can entertain ourselves somehow.”

Well, almost.

Caroline rolled her eyes, hard, and stalked away from him.

“Fine!” she growled. “I thought it could be nice, but since you can’t keep your mind from the gutter, Klaus, I’ll just…. Entertain myself!”

Caroline by this point, was at her bedroom door, and managed to slam it in his face. And she felt quite proud of her timing, until she heard a hearty laugh from the other side of the door, and Caroline realised exactly what she said.

She groaned loudly to herself. Though was inconveniently still thrumming with energy from the day, just now with a second lot of energy joining the rest.

Later that night, it was Klaus’ turn to cook Caroline a silent apology meal. The same way she cooked for him the night he arrived.

He wasn’t sure what had got into him. Winding up Caroline was just such a delicious exercise. The shades of pink she turned, the entendres she inadvertently made, the adorably over the top facial expressions he elicited. It was just quite fun.

But after an hour of feeling a little pleased with himself about it all, he started feeling a little guilty.

She was an adult, and she was an exceptionally beautiful adult – although he’d never let himself admit that to himself before and never would again (she was Stefan’s sister after all) – but she was still young. It wasn’t like he was 1000-years-old and she just 18 – he was only two years older than her – but he didn’t know where she was on her sexual journey. Flirting her into knots when he was quite confident in his sexuality, and she not so much, just felt a bit ick.

Klaus decided as much fun as flirting with Caroline had been, he was going to leave that ball in her court, so to speak. If she wanted to flirt with him overtly, then he would pick up what she put down, but wouldn’t initiate it.

“Hey Klaus,” Caroline said softly, when she finally surfaced for dinner. “This isn’t pizza.”

She still had a bit of pent up energy, but was wary because of before. Although it felt surprisingly good to flirt with Klaus, she felt it was a bit of a dangerous line to toe.

“Well spotted,” he intoned, sardonically. “I thought we could partake in a well loved, alliterative tradition; Taco Tuesday.”

Caroline smiled a little brighter. If he wasn’t going to mention earlier, then neither would she.

“That sounds nice!” she replied. “I have some tequila upstairs if you want margaritas to go with it?”

“Caroline Elizabeth Forbes!” Klaus exclaimed, in mock indignance. “It’s a school night!”

She rolled her eyes in response, and flounced upstairs to get the bottles she needed.

When she came back down, she set to work on the cocktails for the two of them.

“You know Caroline,” Klaus said. “I still don’t know much about you anymore. Tell me about yourself.”

“What don’t you know about me? You’ve known me since you were like eight?” Caroline said, squeezing a lime.

“Be that as it may, I hardly paid you any mind while in high school, and now I don’t live here,” Klaus reasoned. “Have you made any decisions about what or where you’ll study?”

“Not really,” she began, before thinking a couple moments longer. “I’d obviously love to do event planning or management. It would really be in keeping with skills I already have, but on the other hand, why waste money on a degree in something I’m already basically professional at. Another thing that was interesting to me was broadcast journalism, but as mom so rudely, but very fairly, pointed out, I barely watch the news as it is. I could do nursing, though blood makes me a bit squeamish.”

As Caroline continued to chatter about what she might want to do with her life, Klaus watched her, and noted the fondness he felt toward her. It was nice listening to her.

“I’m just rambling though, sorry,” Caroline said, a little embarrassed of herself. “I’m always doing that.”

“Not a problem in the slightest, Caroline,” Klaus said, throwing her a genuine smile. “It is nice.”

Caroline smiled shyly back at him, and blushed a little. He sounded so sincere, and it was so at odds with her usual interactions with Klaus.

“Any other thoughts on your future?” Klaus asked.

“Not really,” Caroline said. “I know people think I’m so planned and structured. But I think I want to go with the flow for a while, work out who I am before I settle for anything.”

“That’s very wise, love,” he said. “And I believe our food is ready.”

“Perfect timing!” Caroline grinned. “Margaritas are too!”

“Shall we take our dinner in the lounge?”

“No way, you animal!” Caroline laughed, grabbing the margarita jug in one hand and the glasses in the other. “We are having party food, which means we dine in the party room!”

“The den, I take it?”

“Correct!”

With that, Caroline was off, leaving Klaus to bring all the dishes for dinner into the den, where Caroline was setting up some elaborate game for them already.

“Steady on, sweetheart!” Klaus laughed at her. “How are we supposed to eat and play beer pong at the same time?”

“Oh, Klaus, honey, this isn’t beer pong!” Caroline laughed. “It’s the greatest board game you’ll ever play. I’m prototyping a drinking game for when I go to college.”

“Silly me,” Klaus drawled. “Explain the rules while we eat. But tuck in love, before it gets cold.”

The two friends whiled away the next few hours playing Caroline’s game. Klaus had to hand it to her, the girl knew what made a good drinking game.

It was just after 11pm when they decided to stop playing. Even by that time, there was not a clear winner.

“This is why I am prototyping, Klaus!” Caroline said, swatting playfully at him. “So I can discover where there are holes in the game play. I obviously have to work on the point system more!”

Both of them were definitely well past tipsy, but not quite properly drunk yet. They were in that happy, buzzing period where everything was that little bit heightened. Jokes were funnier, jibes were more meaningful, and flirts were more sensual.

“I probably should go to bed,” Caroline said through her buzz. “Or I’ll regret this in the morning.”

“How could you regret such quality time with me, my love?” Klaus teased.

“Oh so I’m your love now, am I?” Caroline giggled. “Not just a plain old love.”

“You get special consideration for making me laugh,” Klaus stated, matter-of-factly.

“I get it,” Caroline said, as she sprung up from the couch. “There’s levels, am I right?”

“And what on earth do you mean by that, Caroline,” he replied, getting up to follow after her.

“Oh you know,” she said, as she began climbing the stairs. “Everyone gets ‘love’, right? The ones you like a little more get ‘sweetheart’. And then the best people get ‘my love’?”

Caroline stopped midway up the stairs to turn around and raise her eyebrows triumphantly at him. Klaus, stopped his ascent when he was just a step below her, and he was awfully close to her. But in this tipsy state, he didn’t much mind.

“That’s right, my love,” Klaus said, cockily.

She leaned in, her face so close to his, he could count the freckles on her cheeks. Even though she was a full step above him, she was just at his eye level. Her heavy eyes bored into his and Klaus could have sworn her eyes flicked to his lips. And he certainly would by lying to himself if he said his eyes didn’t flick to hers.

“That’s what I thought,” Caroline said, her voice as low as he ever heard it.

With her eyes still locked with his, a tiny, mischievous smile lit her face, and she began chewing on her bottom lip.

It was Caroline unlike he’d ever seen her before. Enticing, intriguing, exciting. And that was enough to make him want her. But add just a hint of the forbidden in the mix, and boy, did it make her that much more alluring.

She leaned in a fraction closer, and Klaus was sure he was about to feel the glory of her lips on his, when his phone started buzzing loudly in his pocket.

Caroline visibly shook herself, apparently regaining her composure much faster than he was able to.

“You should get that.”

The voice was still Caroline’s, it was still kind and melodic, but he couldn’t help but feel he lost something secret.

“Klaus, the phone,” Caroline urged.

Finally pulled from his trance, Klaus reached into his pocket to grab his still ringing phone.

“Hello,” he answered.

“Klaus!”

Caroline only heard a loud voice excitedly say Klaus’ name, and she already heard enough.

With nothing more than a gesture upstairs to her bedroom, Caroline was off to sleep.

She didn’t escape fast enough, before she heard the tail end of Klaus’ conversation.

“I’m busy,” he said. “Hanging out with the best people. Goodbye.”

Hearing that made a warm glow spread through her.

It was still alight within her the next night when she and Klaus were sitting in the lounge watching a movie after dinner.

“So, am I invited to the event this weekend?” Caroline asked, about 45 minutes into the movie.

“It’s the founders’ Christmas party. You are part of two founding families, Caroline,” Klaus replied, sardonically. “I think you have a weightier invitation than I do.”

Caroline just laughed.

“But in all seriousness,” Klaus said. “Mother made a point of saying just today to make sure you come along. You’ll be the only representative of the Forbes and Salvatore family in attendance this year apparently.

“I guess that’s right,” Caroline said, pondering. “I will be all alone!”

“You will hardly be alone, love,” Klaus said, chuckling at her dramatics. “Elena and Bonnie will be there.”

“No actually,” Caroline said. “Elena and Jeremy are going to some family reunion thing out of town, and Bonnie is will be visiting her cousin.”

“What about my siblings?”

“Come on, Klaus,” Caroline chided. “All of them will have their friends there. Plus, your sister is dating Matt, my ex. Not super keen to hang out with those two just yet, as much as I like them both.”

“Well, there’s nothing else for it,” Klaus stated, with a tiny wink. “You’ll have to be my date for the evening.”

“I’ll have to be your date, will I?” Caroline asked, a little coolly.

“Yes you will, my love,” Klaus teased.

Caroline laughed, her faux-cool exterior cracking.

“Fine, I’ll be your date, Klaus,” Caroline said, that flirtatious smile back on her face. “But only if you wear a suit, and court me somehow. And get me a gift, obviously. I don’t put out otherwise.”

“I wouldn’t dream of you putting out for me, sweetheart,” he replied, trying desperately to play it as cool as she seemed to be. “But I can definitely find a suit.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” she replied.

At that moment, she hauled herself up from the couch, and began to pick up the plates in front of them, left over from dinner.

“Don’t worry about that yet, love,” Klaus said, covering her hand with his, and gently indicating to leave the chores for later.

Caroline flicked her eyes from their joined hands to his eyes.

“Stay,” he urged.

Caroline let herself be pulled back onto the couch, although this time she was far closer to Klaus than she had been, and he did not let go of her hand. And she wasn’t quite sure why, but she felt very comfortable to stay tangled up in him.

For the remainder of the film, neither of them spoke much, other than a bit of banter dragging the movie, but their bodies stayed close, and their hands locked. Every now and then Caroline would stroke her foot delicately along Klaus’ leg, or Klaus would draw circles with his thumb on her skin.

After it finished, they stayed in a similar state of sweet, both ignoring the complete insanity of what they were doing; just chatting, laughing, teasing.

And that’s how it was for the next couple of days. They spent every possible moment together; furtive glances, lingering touches, and enough entendre to keep both of them dizzy for each other. Though they still hadn’t taken it any further. While it was just implied attraction, it seemed much easier to deny.

When Saturday morning dawned, Caroline could hardly contain her excitement.

Now, she had been giving herself stern talking tos all week, because she knew once her parents were home, and Klaus left, things would go right back to the way they were. It would be like he was never there.

She knew that. She knew it would be that way, she knew it would have to be that way, she knew, no matter what this dalliance was, Klaus wouldn’t let it be any other way. And frankly, she wouldn’t let it be any other way.

But gosh, for the moment, it felt damn good to be so wrapped up in someone.

“Morning, my love,” Klaus yawned, as he came down the stairs the morning of the party. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah! Really well,” Caroline replied. “I was thinking of making pancakes for breakfast. Sound good?”

Klaus nodded his affirmative, before turning to put a pot of coffee on.

“What plans do you have for the day?” Klaus asked, just as the coffee machine began to whirr.

“Not really much, just breakfast, relax a bit, then I’ll start getting ready for the party at some point,” Caroline replied, smiling at him. “I have a very handsome date tonight?”

“Do you just?”

And boy, did she just.

Because later that day, as she descended the stairs, she nearly choked. For, standing at the bottom of the steps, with that god-damn perfect smirk quirking his lips, was Klaus, looking positively devastating in a crisp dark, navy suit.

“You scrub up well, Mikaelson,” Caroline praised, managing to keep her cool, and keep from actually choking.

“As do you, Forbes,” Klaus replied. “You are stunning.”

And she was. Her off-the-shoulder dress was the perfect package, for such a beautiful woman. Klaus honestly wasn’t sure how he was going to go back to Caroline being just his best friend’s little sister. Maybe he could never go back.

“I got you something,” Klaus said, handing her a long, thin box.

Caroline’s brow furrowed slightly, even though her eyes were wide, as she took the gift. She popped the lid of the box, and was met with a sparkling bracelet twinkling back at her.

“Klaus, it’s beautiful,” she said, in awe. “But I can’t accept this.”

“Come now, Caroline. This is that gift you demanded,” Klaus chuckled, taking the bracelet from her hand and beginning to attach it to her wrist. “Although, I still don’t expect you to put out, even though I met your demands.”

Caroline laughed out loud, remembering their conversation from days before.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special, don’t you?” Caroline asked.

“Only the very best,” he replied, winking. “But we best be off. Mother will have my bow tie, and the head above it, if we are too late.”

“Yeah, you know the bow tie? Weird choice.”

Before too long, the two of them were stepping through the doors of the Mikaelson Mansion – the scene for the party that particular evening.

Caroline really was in awe of Mrs Mikaelson and her unrivalled ability to put on a show. Everything was twinkling, or sparkling, the soft music playing in the background was classy but not the usual boring string music that normally played at this sort of thing.

“Niklaus! Caroline!”

The hostess herself swanned over to the almost couple the moment they were through the door.

“It is so lovely to have you both here.”

“Thank you for having me, Mrs Mikaelson,” Caroline said, sweetly. “This place looks amazing.”

“Yes, mother,” Klaus interjected. “You’ve truly outdone yourself.”

“Oh, stop it,” the older woman beamed. “I’m glad you two are here, now the grand total of young people is at about 15. I did so hope more of your classmates would come along, Caroline.”

“Me too,” Caroline sympathised. “But you know this time of year, just so busy!”

“Yes, yes, well, I suppose,” Esther said, as another few guests arrived. “I must be off, do enjoy yourselves, and say goodbye before you leave.”

With that, the Mikaelson matriarch was off, leaving Caroline and Klaus to the party.

The two of them walked deeper into the house, a little awkwardly. They had been cooped up all week, just the two of them, and now they were out in the open, not particularly sure how to interact.

“Maybe we get some drinks?” Klaus said.

“Yeah, as if they’ll serve us alcohol. We’re both underage. Your mom’s the host, my mom’s the sheriff!”

“We can have orange juice or coke, sweetheart,” Klaus chuckled.

“Hi you two!” a voice said, from behind them.

It was Rebekah, who was holding a bit too tightly to her boyfriend’s hand.

“Hi,” Caroline said back, tensing a little. She was over Matt, she had to remind herself. “You guys having a good time.”

“Yes!” Rebekah exclaimed. “Most of my friend group is here. Not many seniors though, just you and Matt as far as I can tell.”

“Yeah,” Caroline said. “Honestly, though, without Bonnie and Elena, I’m pretty fresh out of my best buddies.”

Rebekah laughed in response, and then launched into her thoughts on Caroline’s current routines about the cheer squad.

The two girls spoke for a while, Matt and Klaus making gruff males-who-don’t-have-much-in-common small talk, until the lights lowered further, and the stately classical music, gave way to more popular tunes played by a DJ.

“Oh my gosh, Matt! It’s our song!” Rebekah shrieked, as a fairly non-descript pop song began to play.

With that, they were off into the middle of the crowd, dancing joyfully.

Caroline felt a little pang in her chest. Partly out of the loss of such an easy boyfriend, as Matt was. But more for the fact that she and Klaus didn’t have a song, and never would. Tomorrow, her parents would be home, Klaus would be gone, and their moment would be over.

She and Klaus stood watching the crowd for a few minutes, when the song changed, and a Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas began to play.

“Care to dance, my love?” Klaus asked, almost tenderly.

She smiled, and let him lead her into the fray.

He pulled her close, close enough to drive them both crazy, but still far enough away to maintain that increasingly elusive plausible deniability.

“Does that make this our song?” Klaus murmured to her as they held each other.

“Do we need a song?” Caroline asked, doubtfully.

He didn’t answer, but he did pull her fractionally closer, even as he cast his eyes downward for a moment.

They remained silent for the rest of the song, though as the next started, Caroline’s face cracked into a smile.

“You know what, yes,” she said. “That is our song. I’ve had a really great time this week Klaus, no matter what.”

“Me too, my love,” he said, softly.

“Why don’t we get going?” Caroline asked, as though making an internal decision. “We can play loud music back at the Salvatore mansion, and maybe make our fun.”

Klaus nodded briskly, and she strode away from him. Following after her at a slower pace, his heart sped up slightly at the thought of what Caroline maybe had in mind. His best friend’s sister she may have been, but Klaus couldn’t deny the way his body had been consistently reacting to her the past few days.

“You two leaving so soon?”

Esther caught them as they were right at the exit. Klaus hoped Caroline would have an excuse because he certainly didn’t know how to explain to his mother that he was leaving her party early, with a girl, to go back to the girl’s empty house.

“Yes, Mrs Mikaelson,” Caroline said, with sincere sadness in her voice. “I have been trying to be really strict with my curfew lately, being a senior and all. I’ve got to keep my nose down if I want to get into my first choice college.”

“If it’s for college, I suppose I can’t fault your commitment to your studies.”

“I can send Klaus back after he’s dropped me off, if you’d like?”

“Only if he wants to, Caroline,” Esther replied. “I have a feeling he only came today because you were interested. Niklaus will do what Nikaus wants, and nothing more.”

“Okay then, we better get going then,” Caroline said with a bright, charming smile. “Thank you so much for having us. You wait until I tell the girls at school what they missed because they had plans!”

Klaus bid his mother goodbye, and the two were off.

“You should win an academy award for that performance, Ms Forbes,” Klaus quipped.

“That’s because it’s not untrue!” Caroline said to him, as they both clambered into the car. “You’ve been a horrible influence on me! Since the start of semester, every week night, I’ve been in bed before ten, and every weekend I’ve been in by eleven. Admittedly, it’s only nine now, but still.”

“I didn’t realise I was in such proper company,” Klaus joked.

“Oh shush, I can party after I get into college, and I have no idea what I want to do, so I’m keeping my options open.”

“So, if I call on you for a party the moment you finish finals, I can be sure of party animal Caroline in full force.”

“You sure can, Klaus, and that’s a promise.”

Klaus smirked, as he started the drive back to the Salvatore house. He fully intended to collect on that promise.

“So, what do you want to drink?” Caroline asked, when they arrived back.

“Whatever you’re having love,” Klaus said.

“I don’t think I’ll have any,” she said, before winking. “I don’t need alcohol to have fun.”

“I’m sure you don’t, sweetheart,” Klaus said. “But it sure can help get the fun started.”

“Yeah, I know,” Caroline said. “But, I meant what I said to you earlier. I’ve been really bad this week. It’s been so fun with you, but I want to at least be able to look my parents in the face tomorrow and not have to lie about boozing all night tonight.”

“Right you are, love,” Klaus smiled. “Not an enviable task I’m sure; lying to the sheriff.”

“Do you want something to eat?” Caroline asked, striding into the kitchen. “The food at the party was lovely, but it sure was small.”

Klaus chuckled, he knew what she meant. Finger food was always the choice of snack for that sort of party.

“We came back to have our own party,” Klaus replied. “So party food is always a good start.”

Klaus was leaning against the kitchen bench when Caroline pulled out some ingredients to make grilled cheese sandwiches for them both.

When they polished off the sandwiches, Klaus looked at Caroline, his head tilted to the side.

“What now?” he asked her.

“Are you sure you don’t want a drink?” she checked.

“My eyes will be as open as yours, Caroline.”

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“That could be nice,” he replied, though he noticed an unfamiliar, but exciting glint in her eyes.

“Or we could do something else,” Caroline said, as she pushed herself off the counter to looped her fingers though his belt loops and pulled him closer to her.

Klaus settled his hands on her waist, his mouth a little dry, and his heart pounded a somewhat faster. She was looking at him with such determination, and any resolve he pretending to have wavered.

And then she pressed her soft lips to his, and it completely crumbled.

When Klaus would replay that night in his head, as he secretly would many times in the years to come, he would always edit in a pause, where he showed some semblance of restraint, where he didn’t kiss back straight away.

But in reality, so lost was he in instant euphoria, he fell headlong into the moment.

He brought his hands up to cup her face, pulling it even closer than it already was. He tilted his head to the other side to open his mouth, and deepen the kiss.

For the intensity of the moment, it was still quite innocent.

After a few more seconds, Caroline pulled away, her nose and cheeks delightfully rose coloured, her pupils dilated.

She sucked her lips a little nervously, and looked at him through her long lashes. She ran her hands down his arms to interlock her fingers with his. Without saying a word, unable to get enough, he placed a few chaste kisses to her lips.

“Klaus,” she said, her voice laden. “Do you want to go upstairs?”

He softly, playfully, ran his nose up the side of her face, until his eyes met hers, he smiled faintly, and nodded.

Caroline used their linked hands to lead Klaus from the kitchen, up the stairs, stopping at her bedroom door.

“Are you sure, Caroline?” Klaus asked.

“Are you?” she replied.

“Yes.”

The word hung between them, signing away any plausibly deniability. But they were both too wrapped in each other to quite mind.

Caroline opened the door, and let him in.

For the first time since Caroline kissed him, Klaus was curious to the world beyond her. He had never been into her room before, in all the years he’d been in and out of that house.

It was tastefully decorated, of course it was, and had such an eclectic mix of trinkets and doo-dads from Caroline’s life. A photo of her, Elena, and Bonnie as young girls, a souvenir model of the Eiffel Tower, a figurine of Harry Potter, her Miss Mystic Falls trophy. It was such a study in Caroline, and he felt his heart clench at the thought that beyond tomorrow, he would no longer be able to study her.

As Klaus appraised her room, Caroline appraised herself in her mirror. She noted her extra flushed complexion, and her mildly smudged make up. She noticed her slender shoulders, and how striking she actually looked. She wondered how Klaus saw her.

As she gazed upon herself, she wondered if this was the right thing to do. She had always imagined having sex for the first time with someone she loved, or at least someone she was in a relationship with. Klaus was neither of those things.

Sure, she fancied him a bit. And had for a long time, but in the way girls tended to do about their older siblings’ friends. She’d fancied Damon’s friend Ric for a while as well, didn’t mean she wanted to sleep with him.

She wasn’t sure what it was about Klaus, but she wanted him.

Plus, she was sick of pretending. Half the people at school thought she’d slept with Matt, and the other half thought it was Tyler. Even Bonnie and Elena just assumed she had. They never really asked her, more wrapped up in their own drama. And it was always something she was too awkward about to correct.

With both Matt and Tyler, they’d done some stuff, but Caroline had never felt comfortable enough with them or with herself, to want to take that next step.

But with Klaus, boy, she wanted it. She had been aching for him all week. In a way she hadn’t before. And she may not have had sex, but she knew how to help herself out thank you very much – and she had.

The long and short of it all was, she was ready. She wanted it to be this way. It may not have matched the picture in her head, but it felt better. And that, more than anything, steeled her resolve that this was what she wanted.

She turned away from the mirror, and faced him.

“So,” she said.

“So,” he repeated.

He moved toward her, and placed his hands on her bare shoulders, gently rubbing his palm back and forward over the exposed skin.

She leaned up to catch his lips once more, this time a little more passionately than the last.

Klaus responded instantly, sliding his hands from her shoulders to begin exploring the curves of her waist, and butt.

Caroline began walking them backward, until they hit the bed, and she pulled him on top of her. Being horizontal with him, on her bed, amped up the ever rising excitement in her, and she couldn’t help the pushing herself up to alleviate some of the pressure.

“That felt nice,” she murmured to him, between kisses.

They remained in that position for a while, Caroline not particularly sure how to progress things along, but also not wanting to admit this to her lover.

Though, before too long, the increasingly impatient Klaus, sat up to rid himself of his button down shirt, before settling himself on propped elbows above her.

Caroline was in total awe of his body. In high school, Klaus had never had a dad-bod or anything, but has also never been particularly jacked. But the man above her now was toned and defined in an incredibly alluring way.

Before she could stop herself, Caroline was running her hands softly over his skin, trying to commit to memory every dip and crevice in his body.

“Sorry,” she said shyly, when she shook herself out of the stupor.

“I am yours tonight, Caroline,” he replied, his eyes hungry for her. “Explore all you want.”

Caroline smiled appreciatively at him, and briefly wondered if he knew what he was doing. But she brushed that off almost immediately. That was for future Caroline to fret about.

After a little longer exploring his body, Klaus began slowly running his hands down from her shoulders again, though this time, he caught her dress on the way down. It pulled down easily, and soon revealed Caroline’s perfect body to his eyes.

“You are a picture, Caroline,” he said, with a strangled note to his voice, as he took in the matching red lace strapless bra and panties.

Caroline smiled, a little abashed by the look in his eyes. Though buoyed by it also, Caroline reached for the zip of his pants, and undid it. Rather than awkwardly wriggle under him to make her attempt with her hands, Caroline laid back down and brought her flexible legs upward, locking her dainty toes into the waistband of the pants. She deftly manoeuvred the pants down his legs enough that he could simply shake them off himself.

She internally congratulated herself on that move. She’d seen it once in an adult movie she watched, and she was stoked that she managed to do it without it being completely awkward.

Now both almost completely naked, they resumed their kissing, though this time everything became a little more frenzied. Both of them were losing the little self-control they had, their skin rubbing together intoxicatingly. They only paused when Caroline rid herself of her bra, leaving her breasts to bounce freely.

Klaus immediately cupped with mounds with his coarse hands, further tightening the spring in Caroline’s abdomen. He honestly didn’t think he’d ever touched such perfect breasts before, and it was driving him wild.

Klaus changed positions and suddenly he was kissing himself down her body, before he went to place an open mouthed kiss on the apex of her thighs through her underwear.

“What are you doing?” she asked, a little alarmed by this turn of events.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Klaus replied, instantly looking guilty. All the girls he’d tried this on with had been like putty in his hands. “I thought you might like…”

“Umm, I guess,” she said, self-consciously, turning bright red. “No one has ever…”

She left the sentence hanging, and looked just about anywhere than at his face between her legs.

“I don’t have to, Caroline,” he said, trying to calm her unease. “But if you want me to, I’m more than happy to oblige.”

“Do I have… to um… I guess…” she said, stumbling for the way she could say what she wanted. “Will you want the same?”

“I don’t know who you’ve been sleeping with, Caroline,” Klaus chuckled, completely missing the guilty look Caroline’s face. “But I will not make you do anything you don’t want to do. And I won’t even hold your own pleasure to ransom for it. There’s no fun in that for me.”

“Oh, okay, I guess I…” she started, still not quite sure what she wanted. “Can you… umm… do your thing… for a bit, then we see?”

Klaus nodded. Though, before he went back to his task, he crawled back up her body, and kissed her lightly on the mouth, looking deeply into her eyes.

“You’re beautiful, Caroline,” he whispered. “Just relax, and make sure you tell me what you want. I’m not some high school jock solely interested in my own pleasure.”

He winked, and kissed her again, before adding in the most diabolical voice Caroline ever heard, “I’m very interested in your pleasure too.”

That was enough to halt her embarrassment, and have her spring coiling again. There was something particularly sexy about someone wanting her pleasure, as well as their own.

She caught herself briefly pondering whether Klaus would spoil her for boys her own age, but before she could explore that thought any more, the thought was whipped from her mind, as Klaus hooked his fingers into her strappy panties, left her bare in front of him, and placed his mouth on the heat between her legs.

It felt quite unlike anything she had experienced before

He kissed at her a few times, before he started flicking his tongue back and forward over her clitoris. It was fire. He slowly added one of his fingers into her, then two, pulling them in and out at an increasing pace. She couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped her mouth.

“Klaus,” Caroline asked, after a few minutes, her voice a lot more strangled with want than last she spoke. “I want you now, I think.”

Klaus had never heard anything sexier in his life, and he was all too willing to abide. He gave only a few more thrusts of his fingers, before he pulled them out, and finally pulled his own underwear off.

With both bodies now completely nude, the tension in the room buzzed up a notch.

Klaus settled himself back over her, and kissed her, hard.

Caroline could now reach his cock. And reach it she did. She took it into her hand and began to stroke up and down, imagining with each stroke that he was pumping into her.

“Condom?” Klaus asked, trying his absolute utmost to be responsible, when all he wanted to do was thrust into her, consequences be damned.

She scrambled from the bed, and went into her en suite, to pull out a couple of the little foil packets.

As she crossed back to him, he grabbed at her waist to pull her down onto him as quickly as possible, and he began attacking her lips again. They lost themselves in that for a moment before Caroline pressed the condom into Klaus’ hand.

He moved off her and onto his back, to tear the packet open, and remove the item. He reached down to roll the latex over himself, then rolled back so he was bearing over her once more.

Caroline’s breathing hitched with every breath, anticipation sizzling every part of her body. Klaus reached between them to grab his cock, and guided it toward her opening. He teased her a little with it, running the tip of his penis along her folds, until she mewled for more.

Delicately, Klaus began to push into her. He pushed slowly, centimetre by centimetre, until she fully gloved him.

“You feel…” she said, barely able to get the words out. “Amazing.”

“God, Caroline,” he said, nearly embarrassed at how desperate he was to move in her. “This is incredible.”

“Move, Klaus, please.”

Only too happy to obliged, Klaus pulled himself from her and slid back in, with more speed that the last time. Then he went again, quicker still.

Soon, Klaus was set in a steady rhythm, and Caroline couldn’t believe what she was feeling. She clung to him, and was astounded to feel herself wanting more and more. Her hands made their way to his muscular ass and gripped it. She found if she used her grip on his butt to push him further into her, they both let out moans of pleasure

She found her breathing grow a bit ragged, as she studied Klaus face, his brow furrowed, his mouth slightly open from the pleasure.

“Caroline,” Klaus said, his voice strained. “I’m going to come.”

She couldn’t help but gasp at the pure need in his voice, then again when she felt the twitch from his cock as he came into her.

They both lay there panting for a few moments, and Caroline couldn’t believe what had just happened.

He kissed her tenderly, before easing himself out of her. He got up and padded into her bathroom, to dispose of the condom, but was back as soon as he could. He felt the loss of her body instantly.

Caroline smiled shyly at him again, like she had earlier in the night.

“Sorry I didn’t…,” she said, once again not finding the right words. “You know… come for you.”

Klaus’ face twisted, a little bit in embarrassment, little bit in sympathy, but mostly in amusement for her innocent remark.

“Caroline, I would have been more offended if you had faked it,” he said, kissing her on the forehead. “I should be apologising for not helping you get there.”

“I don’t really know how to get there,” she admitted in a whisper. She never admitted it out loud before, and she was mortified with herself that she had then.

But Klaus smiled understandingly at her.

“I don’t think that’s uncommon,” he said. “And practice makes perfect, right?”

She laughed, and swatted at him. She was also a little bit in awe that he had made her feel comfortable about something that had brought her such anxiety.

“Also, again, you’re sleeping with the wrong people if they don’t help you practice.”

Caroline blushed, and covered it by kissing him. She didn’t know why she was too embarrassed to tell Klaus this was her first time, when she so obviously gave him pleasure. But she just decided it was too much to share, she didn’t know if she would be able to if she tried.

“How about I get us a snack, and then we kiss some more?” he said, playfully, as he sprung out of bed to find something to cover himself.

When he left the room a minute later in nothing but a towel, Caroline relaxed back to stare at the ceiling.

Unsure of how to feel.

Her body was still buzzing in the after glow, and she thought, even though she hadn’t had one of those really loud, body shaking orgasms she had seen the few times she watched porn, she’d also read enough articles about first times to know that this one had been a pretty special one.

By the time Klaus was back, chocolate bars and cups of tea in hand, Caroline had regained her most of her faculties, and she grinned at him.

“Well that was fun,” she said, as he handed her one of the mugs.

“That it was,” Klaus replied, chinking his mugs to hers. “Repeat?”

“When?” Caroline laughed.

The mood shifted slightly, both of them immediately a little uncomfortable with the question that had been chasing them all week.

What happens next?

“I’m not sure,” Klaus said, looking down at the drink in his hand.

“Me neither,” Caroline replied.

They were an absurd picture, Caroline was sure; a young couple, sitting completely naked, in silent awkwardness, drinking tea from dainty china cups.

“I don’t want to pretend this never happened,” Caroline confessed. How could she pretend? “But I understand if you do. Because of… you know… Stefan, and I’m in high school, or whatever.”

Caroline lips were tight, and her jaw was set, Klaus knew it was hard for her to say, and he appreciated it. But honestly, he didn’t know what he wanted to do.

“We did complicate things a little, didn’t we?”

“Yep,” she replied, popping the p audibly.

“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” Klaus posited, an underlying question in his voice.

“It doesn’t?” Caroline asked, raising her eyebrow.

“The age thing isn’t weird, especially since your brother dated your best friend and you had to be okay with it?” Klaus said, remembering the awful time throughout their final year of high school and first year of college when Stefan and Elena dated.

“Oh yeah, because I could ever have made Elena realise it was totally weird for me,” Caroline scoffed. “I love her, but she has got no self-awareness, and frankly no concept of a world not revolving around her.”

“Yes, I can imagine if you told her about this… about us, she would go all hysterical at you, all distraught about how I’m the reason she and Stefan broke up,” Klaus laughed.

“You’re so right, she hates you, I forgot!”

“Yes, and Bonnie doesn’t like me much either,” Klaus noted.

“Oh my god, I wish she would get over that! You and Stefan played one prank on her, and she will never let it me, or anyone else, forget it!”

“I’m still not sure how Stefan has been cleared of all charges, and yet I am still in the dog house after three years!” Klaus exclaimed. “Speaking of Stefan…”

“Honestly, he’s a wild card,” Caroline said. “He’s usually pretty understanding, but sometimes is a totally over protective ass, you know.”

“I can imagine he would avenge your innocence in subtle ways,” Klaus said. “Like would drop into random conversations with ethical questions about dating their friend’s siblings.”

“Yeah, probably,” Caroline giggled. “Imagine Elijah! ‘Niklaus! I used to babysit that girl!’”

“Yes! And ‘you are far too brutish for a sweet girl like, Caroline,’!” Klaus added. “Oh and think of Rebekah.”

“How could you sleep with my brother!” Caroline cried, in a high pitched, mock-English accent, imitating Rebekah. “How could you sleep with my ex, Bekah, if we want to get into the weeds on the girl code.”

“Bekah and Matt have slept together?” Klaus asked, sharply.

“Oh come on Klaus,” Caroline chided. “Given the conversation we’re having, maybe we not judge your sister for anything she wants.”

“There’s the rub though, sweetheart,” Klaus said, sadly. “That’s how the judgement will happen.”

“Does it matter?” Caroline asked, trying not to sound hurt.

“I don’t know,” Klaus said, honestly. “But rest assured you won’t be my dirty little secret. I refuse to let something I enjoyed so much be something I feel guilty about.”

There was such conviction in his voice that Caroline could have cried. And she did have to take a few deep breaths to stop the tears from visibly springing to her eyes.

“Okay,” she said, decisively. “We won’t tell people, but we won’t lie if asked. That seems okay right?”

“Seems fair,” he replied, as he put his arm around her shoulders and drew her closer to her, and placed a gentle kiss to her mouth.

“And leaves it open for something else in the future,” she winked.

“Now that,” Klaus said, genuinely smiling. “Would be my pleasure.”

Caroline smiled back at him, and kissed him again, feeling content with their conversation.

It wasn’t until the next afternoon, when Liz and Giuseppe returned home, and thanked Klaus for being company for Caroline while they were away, did Caroline fully comprehend the feeling of sadness that was mixed in with the contentment.

“I’ll see you out,” Caroline said to Klaus, as he grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

“Chin up, my love,” Klaus said, nudging her with his elbow. “We don’t need your parents thinking I’m a bad babysitter. They’ll never ask me here again.”

“I had a really great time this week,” Caroline said, earnestly, as he packed his bag into the boot of his car.

“As did I, Caroline,” he replied. “I am looking forward to when you’re in college, maybe you’ll join me and Stefan. It would be nice to have you around.”

Caroline glowed a little from the compliment.

“And in any case, perhaps, when you’re done with senior year, and that party animal you promised me comes out to play,” Klaus said, cheekily. “Maybe you will invite me for one of your events.”

Caroline grinned at him, before wrapping her arms around him for a hug.

“I’ll see you,” she murmured.

“Thank you, Caroline.”

And with that, he was slipping into the front of his car and was driving off, leaving Caroline to just wave at his tail lights as he went.

xxx

Let me know what you think!!!

#klaroline #klaroline fanfic #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline drabble #more of a one shot #kcauweek2020

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in-the-whisper · 4 years ago

Text

Here’s a video that’s really good that I think will give some good background information. If you don’t want to read all of this, the video is probably enough to explain.

youtube

I hope this makes sense anon let me know if you have any questions or if I misinterpreted your question.

TW suicide // grief // abuse // rape mention (not v bad or graphic or anything)

Long version:

I've always thought that life was tragic. That death is a fracture in the way things are, like we live in the ancient ruins of a long lost civilization.

Reconciling all of those ideas is really confusing.

The thing that I couldn't accept was the lack of eternality.

My friend thought that the question of “where is God?” was harder to answer than “why is there meaning to death?”

I'm a Christian because I'm horrified. He's an atheist for the same reason.

But without God there is no moral law. So I wouldn't be able to say, "you should never rape someone, because rape is wrong." And everything that I had experienced flew in the face of that.

Dr. Leff wrote this about that question;

Nevertheless:

Napalming babies is bad.

Starving the poor is wicked.

Buying and selling each other is depraved.

Those who stood up to and died resisting Hitler, Stalin, Amin, and Pol Pot-and General Custer too-have earned salvation.

Those who acquiesced deserve to be damned.

There is in the world such a thing as evil.

[All together now:] Sez who?

God help us.”

And I guess the answer to those questions was yes.

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, God has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, o my soul”

When one of my friends was hospitalized I stood outside during the beginning of a thunderstorm and watched the clouds and the sky darken and lightning flash across the sky.

Even the wind and the sea obey him. He asked me if I trust him.

I guess my answer was yes.

I still am

#ask #what's your current relationship with god? i'm very curious lmao

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

Snow or sand? I love the beach, but hate the sand. It literally gets everywhere. I love the snow, though. I wish it snowed where I live. I’ll have to go with snow.

Do you like sour candy? No. I don’t like the sourness and it irritates my mouth.

If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? It’s only 5AM. I’m also not in school nor do I have a job, so I just have lunch at home either by myself in my room or with my mom in the living room or her room. That’s if I have lunch at all.

What is the last letter of your favorite song? I couldn’t choose just one favorite song ya’ll know this.

Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? No.

Are you a clumsy person? I bang my hand and elbow a lot.

How about disorganized? My room is a bit disorganized. I never used to let it get like that, but it’s a reflection of how I feel and have felt for the past few years. I’m a mess.

Have you ever thought about being a pirate? No.

If you text, who were the last three people you texted? My dad, mom, and brother.

Does today’s date mean anything to you? Nope.

How are you currently feeling? Tired and kinda cold.

Last male you talked to in person? My brother.

Have you ever had a sunburn? Yeah, many times. I got them a lot as a kid cause I actually used to play outside and spent a lot of time out there. Shocking, I know. I get them when I go to the beach as well. I’ve had some really painful ones. However, they always end up turning into a tan so that’s nice.

Do you use Firefox or Internet Explorer? Neither, I use Chrome.

Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No.

Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? I’m not a fan of lemonade.

Chocolate or strawberry milk? Strawberry.

Does it annoy you when people answer surveys with “idk”? I know I say “I don’t know” a lot. I try to answer the questions and in more detail, but sometimes I really just don’t know.

What is the current time? 5:08AM.

Should you be doing something other than this? Probably try to go to sleep, but that just wouldn’t be me now would it.

When is the last time you did laundry? My laundry just got gone last night.

What volume is the ringer on your phone? It’s all the way up.

Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No.

What shirt did you wear to bed last night? It was my Mario Bros shirt.

Where did you get that shirt? I got it from Hot Topic a couple years ago.

Do you hear any music right now? No, but I hear the ASMR video I’m watching.

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? I like some of their songs.

Overall, how was your day today? Like I said, it’s only 5 in the morning so it’s too soon to say.

Silver or gold jewelry? I like both.

In one word, how would you describe your best friend? Fabulous.

Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There’s many.

Do you have an alarm clock? Yeah, on my phone.

What was the weather like today? It’s supposed to rain today. We haven’t had much rain this winter, in fact it’s been awhile, so I hope it does. Do you often write on yourself? I don’t do that anymore, but I did when I was younger. For some reason that was like a thing a lot of people did to themselves in middle and high school. *shrug*

Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? Yes. It’s a shirt from a place I vacationed at.

Would you rather be cold or hot? Cold, most definitely. I love wrapping up in a blanket, wearing a sweatshirt or hoodie, drinking hot coffee, or sitting by the fireplace. I love the coziness. Being hot is just absolutely miserable, there’s nothing I enjoy about that.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I like both.

Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I don’t eat mushrooms.

What about onions? Yeah. I don’t mind if there’s some chopped up pieces in some foods and I like onion rings, but I don’t like onions on my burgers or in my burritos or anything like that.

Are you a fan of Thai food? I’ve never had it.

How about Indian food? I had chicken curry once, which I did like. I couldn’t have it now though cause I can’t eat spicy food anymore. :/

Have you ever tried sushi? Yes, and it was absolutely disgusting. I feel like everyone loves sushi but me.

What is the weirdest food you have eaten? I’m super picky, so I don’t think I’ve had anything all that weird. I’m so particular about my food.

Do you know who LL Cool J is? Yes.

You have a pocket full of change - what do you do with it? Put it in my bag.

Guitarists or lead singers? Lead singers.

What does your mom say about the pictures on your Facebook? She’ll like them and leave a nice comment.

Where are you? In my room on my chair.

do you know your mother’s birthday? Of course.

do you like texting? Over talking on the phone, yeah. I don’t do much texting, though.

would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? Could it be pitch black and not a single soul in sight??

how do you feel about the person who texted you last? I love him, he’s my dad.

do you own a pair of skinny jeans? All my jeans are skinny jeans.

what do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph or Sis.

will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope not? Who knows when my next kiss will even be or who it will be with.

has a book ever made you cry? Yes.

do you like to cuddle? Sure. I don’t have much cuddling experience, though.

do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? I check the time on it.

are your parents still together? Yes.

Are you missing anyone? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

What do you currently hear? An ASMR video.

Plans for tomorrow? No. I’m so sick of this question, it’s like in every survey and my answer is always the same. My life is very routine. I spend all my time at home doing the same things, especially since the pandemic. My plans now just consist of my once a month doctor appointment that I have to go to in order to get my prescription refills.

What did you eat for lunch today? Like I mentioned a couple times now it’s only 5 in the morning.

Sex ruins relationships, right? No? It can, but that’s not a general statement.

Where do you want to live when you’re older? My dream would be to live near the beach.

Is your life falling apart or coming together? It’s been falling apart for the past few years.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? No, I didn’t even go to bed until like 6ish.

What color is your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I dye it red. Currently, it is a lot of my natural hair cause my roots are quite overgrown as it’s been almost a year since I last got it done. Sigh.

Are you spending the weekend with the last person you texted? Yeah, we live together.

Do you trip a lot? No.

If someone paid you $100 would you dance in the middle of times square? No.

Do you have anyone you fully trust? Yes.

What kind of pants did you wear today? I live in leggings, that’s all I wear.

How old is your television? About two years old.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop.

When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago.

Are you currently sleepy? Yes.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? No. I’ve never even been in the situation where a significant other asked or wanted me to do that.

Have you ever had bad trust issues with someone? Yes.

What accent do you think is the most attractive? British and southern accents.

Are you hot or cold natured? Hot, unfortunately.

Do you own any television series box sets? I have I Love Lucy and The Dick Van Dyke Show boxsets.

Have you ever been in a fight with your best friend? Yes.

When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? A couple days ago from my mom.

Do you take any advanced classes? I’m done with school.

What is your lucky number? I don’t believe in luck, but my favorite number is 8.

Do you own a book bag? If so, what color is it? No.

Was the last movie you watched a horror film? Nope.

Do you own a lot of tee shirts? Yes. My wardrobe consists of a shit ton of graphic tees.

Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? No.

Have you ever spent the night in jail? No.

Are you a colorful person or quite bland? Bland. Well, except for my hair that I dye like a cherry red.

List one word to describe your significant other? Nonexistent.

Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? No, but definitely felt nauseous and sick and like I could throw up.

Do you remember the first survey you took? Uh, definitely not. I’ve been taking surveys since like 2004/2005.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 100 and something. *shrug*

Have you ever watched fight videos for amusement? No. I don’t find stuff like that amusing or entertaining at all.

In high school, were you in trouble a lot? I was never in trouble in school.

Do you enjoy your hairstyle? No. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it besides throw it up in a messy bun all the time.

Do you have long hair or short hair? My hair is long, it goes past my butt. Such a waste that I do nothing with it.

How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? None anymore. I haven’t worn makeup in almost 4 years.

What is your favorite television show? I have many.

Do you have a leather jacket? *Pleather, but yes.

Do you think anyone dislikes you for no reason? They probably have reason.

Do you have any children? Nooo.

Have you ever been interviewed on television before? No.

Do you have weak upper body strength? I used to have really great upper body strength as a paraplegic who only had upper body mobility and uses a manual wheelchair. When I was in school and had a social life, I was active. I didn’t spend all day, everyday in bed or at home all day doing nothing. I had toned arms before. I lost my muscle mass and now I’m weak cause I’m not active at all anymore.

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I don’t know. I say mean, hurtful things to myself all the damn time. My brain plays ‘em on a loop.

Are you good at sketching? No. I don’t have any artistic abilities, sadly.

Do you think hugs are awkward? Yeah, they can be.

Do you think facial hair is gross? No. I’m not a big fan of a lot of facial hair, though.

Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? I dye it red?

What color was the last cup you drank from? It’s a clear glass.

Ever play Angry Birds? Nah, I never got into that.

Did you think it was annoying, like I did? It just didn’t look like my kind of game.

Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah, many times.

What instruments do you know how to play? None anymore, but I used to play some piano back in the day. I wish I took it more seriously back then. I wish I had practiced more and kept up with it because I did enjoy it.

How late did you stay up last night? I went to bed around 6ish. And that’s AM if you’re new here.

How late do you plan on staying up tonight? Well, it’s 5:46AM now...

Whose wall did you post on last? I share stuff to my mom’s wall sometimes.

Have you ever done hard drugs before? No. All I’ve done is weed.

Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No.

Do you own a Snuggie? I do.

What is your favorite band of all time? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? Nah.

Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It’s not something I’ve actively thought or worried about.

Are there any paintings on your wall? Yeah, a few giraffe ones and a couple beach ones.

Speaking of which, what color are your walls painted? White.

Do you have any talents that come naturally? No. :( I’m lame.

Do you have any piercings? Just my earlobes.

What is your favorite piece of jewelry? The ones I have with my birthstone on it.

Is there a place you'd rather live right now? Somewhere with colder weather.

Do you change your bed sheets often? Usually just like twice a month.

Do you go out often? lol.

Have you ever had plastic surgery before? No.

Are you afraid of airplane rides? I get super anxious beforehand, but once up in the air I start to relax a bit and I’m okay. Well, unless there’s a lot of turbulence.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? At least once a day.

Do you consider yourself a sensitive person? Very.

What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? My mom is so sweet and has always gotten me something like candy and a stuffed animal or something, but I’ve never received anything from a guy.

If you're reading a book, what page are you currently on? I don’t feel like checking.

Do you think people are intimidated by you? Uh, no. I can’t imagine anyone being intimidated by me.

Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job.

Do you know how to do your own laundry? I have to have help with that.

Have you ever lived with a roommate before? No.

Do you like candles? There’s a lot of nice smelling ones, but I’m just not a candle person. Give me a room spray instead.

Would you prefer internet or television? Internet.

What is something you lose often? Patience.

Do you have any classes with friends? I’m done with school.

Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? No. I haven’t entered any kind of contest in a really long time.

What is your favorite possession in your room? I couldn’t possibly choose one thing. I love all my stuff. What will you be doing in the next ten minutes? Finishing this survey, maybe start another, and listen to ASMR.

How old is your oldest sibling? 37.

Do you consider yourself physically active? Not at all. I explained all that in another question.

How many scarves do you own, if any at all? Zero.

Do you have any cuts or scratches as of now? Not that I know of.

Where did you last sleep? My bed, like I always do.

Do you have Netflix? Yep.

Are you colorblind? No.

Do you know anyone personally who is colorblind? Yeah, my high school chem teacher.

Favorite salad dressing? Ranch. Unless I’m eating a Caesar salad, of course. A vinaigrette is good, too.

Do you enjoy dancing? I don’t do much dancing.

Have you ever considered writing a novel? I actually have thought about it before.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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