#my parent interacting with my social media makes me not want to post(obviously not tumblr but others) i just cant man im tired

[like-wuatafauq]

Raise your hand if you're a first generation who grew up with the absolute fear of being separated from your family but now you plan to not see them for holidays because the thought of facing them alone makes you hyperventilate and you could only face them if you had someone in your corner who could make sure you're okay. So now you have to deal with the thought of not having that family even though their safety in that country depends on you so if you're not perfect and show up for them it will be your fault if something happens and you feel guilty because your family did a lot to get you to said country. So you should be grateful.

[pigeon-behavior]

What are some things to look for with accounts that post a lot about their pet pigeon? Like what can I look for to be sure the pigeon is being treated properly and not being abused/stressed for views? What are common questionable things you see accounts like those doing?

That is a REALLY good question, thanks for asking!

My take here probably won't be comprehensive, but I will at least try to give you a starting point to go off of.

Here are some red flags in pigeon social media content:

1. They have cross species content. A pigeon should not be interacting with any other species besides people on video. Nor in real life, honestly, but we're talking social media crimes. No other birds- not even ringnecks- and CERTAINLY no mammals. It's dangerous.

2. This can be a little tricky for the less experienced, but watching how someone interacts with their pigeon is key. Do they force interaction? Do they respect their bird? Is this light-hearted teasing that the bird doesn't mind, or are you looking at a freaked out animal? Or a freeze response? If you're not sure, ask around for opinions you trust on behavior. Sometimes it is the only way to make learning leaps.

3. Stupid decision making. You will probably know it when you see it. Bringing a pigeon outside with no harness. Talking about the freedom of birds and how they need to free fly outside. If it Seems like hawk bait, it probably is. (I don't mean that they do this on purpose, they don't. They are are in utter denial about deaths by hawk and their ability to prevent them by simply keeping their birds contained)

4. This one depends, but if you ever see content of a pigeon being held so that the general public can pet it without it being able to get away - usually a bad sign. I saw this connected to a very small rescue once and it was pretty appalling. These are touch adverse animals - you can't do that. And on that note-

5. Any form of advocating for 'struggle-cuddling', or holding the animal still until it stops fighting you, is a HUGE no. It is one of the fastest ways to learned helplessness, and also for some reason rampant advice in this fucking community. I'm bitter about it, obviously.

6. They shit on all breeding. It's not necessarily a sign of neglect but trust me, these are not people you want to be around.

Now, some GOOD things to look out for:

1. Excellent housing. You want to see a wider-than-tall space with a lot of solid perches not caked in 3 inches of gray-green cemented poop. Poop happens. They are birds. It gets dirty. But the cement is neglect. That took time.

2. They interact with their birds respectfully. Even if they might get a little silly with them, you won't see these birds getting squirrely and shying away. Consent does matter here.

3. They have primarily ethical breeds. The range of ethical is pretty wide here. But something like an extreme modena or extreme MOF (modern old frill, NOT the same as the classic old frill) might still show up in a regular loft, and that's okay. They need a home.

4. If they breed, they have some kind of plan. You might not even see it, but occasionally breeders will talk about what they want to do with their breeding project. And their plan shouldn't be fucking stupid. TRLs plan? Stupid. That isn't how breeding Works. So, someone with a brain in their head about this stuff.

5. Someone who is willing to euthanize an animal. Making a creature continue suffering through amputations or other surgeries that are too extreme for it... It isn't ethical. A pigeon can't survive long term with only one leg. We know this. Anyone who is trying to pretend differently is perpetuating suffering.

6. Someone who socializes any baby pigeons properly. That means no hand-raising, no people imprinting. Parent raising. Socialization techniques vary and most are valid.

7. Care more about the bird than the content they make. The bird shouldn't be a toy they force into situations for views.

Generally, just try to pay attention. Don't be afraid to ask someone you trust about what they think of an account. It can be hard to break out of the little echo chambers that start to form, but thinking critically about stuff like that will absolutely help you in the long term. Exposing yourself to better information and cutting off the bad stuff will advance you a lot farther.

A real quick body language lesson for you, on how to tell if a pigeon is comfortable.

A pigeon frozen in place, refusing to move, is not a happy pigeon. Their eyes may get wide and tight, their posture may be slightly tucked in and hunched. It can be easy to mistake them as a little sleepy if you don't know what to look for.

Sleepy don't look like that. Sleepy is loose posture, puffy feathers, squinty eyes, fluffy forehead, raised foot. Some or all of these.

Another sign of discomfort is more active defense. It might look like display dancing, but this bird is telling you to fuck off. They tend to dance and hop around more trying to avoid you, their necks will be stretched out really tall, their heads will dart around, they will interrupt themselves mid-coo to run away.

These are birds who are confident enough to tell you to go away, but still freaked out. I saw a video from a prominent rescue last week of such behavior where someone was "playing" with this poor guy who was totally boxed into his rescue crate with nowhere to go.

Pigeons need an exit route during intense interactions with us. You can't box them into a corner so they have nowhere to go.

A pigeon that WANTS to wrestle or what have you will not flinch away from you like this, or freeze like a rabbit. If you are wrestling and you pull your hand away, the pigeon should run up to your hand again if you offer it from a distance. If you are petting the pigeon, the pigeon should lean their head down, or groan, or nesty grunt, or puff their feathers up, or try to preen you!

This got a little long, but I genuinely hope that was helpful to you. And again, great question.

If you like my posts, please consider tipping me on ko-fi!

[nectardaddy]

It was hilarious how you corrected the ask about you being a bad teacher lol

I genuinely have a question for ppl though-

Do they not understand that how you act on your social media or outside of your work doesn’t mean that’s how you act when you’re doing your job???? Like my blog is full of comments abt my fictional men 🥴🥴🥴 but do I act like that at work?? No. Do I act like that around kids (namely my little brother bcs he’s fr the only kid I interact with) no. So like it doesn’t make sense to me

To me that’s similar to the “Oh they have dyed hair so they’re incompetent!” Or “They have piercings and tattoos so they obviously do drugs!” Kinda of people but that’s just my two cents.

You seem like a really fun teacher and I think if I had a teacher like you when I was in school I wouldn’t have hated it nearly as much as I did. You’re making the day fun for the kids based off the stories you tell and treat them like humans which is really important and something easily overlooked by some other teachers and parents. Anyways…that was my ramblings. Have a good day Dodger and I would love to hear more teacher rambles 🥰🫶🏻

-sincerely bakery anon 🍪 <3

I popped off in this I'm sorry lol, I just had A LOT to say about this topic.

I dropped everything to answer this because I love to speak on this topic, despite it being frustrating. But ahhh thank you for enjoying my reply lol!

A lot of people (and I say a lot because it truly is, I have at least 4 parents every year that think similarly to this) think that social media IS REAL. The whole "what you see is what you get" thought process really rings true for a lot of people and it is genuinely concerning. With that though, a lot of people ALSO think how you act OUTSIDE of work describes who you are as a worker as well which is SO STUPID!

I mean, I get it, I am teaching children at the end of the day. I understand there are some things I shouldn't post on a PUBLIC platform with my name attached to it (and I don't) because my students may see it. That being said though, everything I do post that's even a little risqué, especially anything thirst related to fictional characters, is under LOCK AND KEY and completely under a different name (see "nectardaddy" with the pseudonym dodger lol).

As for the kinds of people you brought up, you are 100000000% correct. In my four years of teaching, the parents (and I bring up parents a lot bc they are the adults here, children genuinely don't care and are 9/10 beyond kind and accepting) that give me the most grief about MY behavior think like this. I have tattoos (lots of them), I have many piercings, I have a blue mullet for christ sake lol and there is always someone (an adult parent) who COMPLAINS ABOUT IT??? I have had calls to my principle before that a parent SAW ME AT A BAR AFTER SCHOOL. AFTER SCHOOL!!! Apparently I'm not allowed to do that?? Because apparently to them it was "inappropriate to do that because I'm a teacher." Thank god I have a good principle, she laughed right in that woman's face.

I've also had nasty, heinous comments about my preferences (which isn't any of their business #1 and doesn't pertain to school AT ALL #2) and disgusting assumptions made about me, my past, my husband, and who I am as a person BY ADULTS all because I didn't let little timmy talk to his friend while I was trying to teach him math. (But then when he fails math because I let him talk that's my fault too.) I truly think this mindset comes from simple entitlement and need for control, amongst some other things but I'm not one to delve into politics too hard here.

But, it warms my heart to know that a lot of people, including yourself, think I'm a good teacher! At the end of the day though, I do this (teaching) for THEM. I wouldn't want to sit there for 7 seven hours either so we don't! We go outside, move around, work in groups, we talk to our friends, we're loud, WE'RE LEARNING! I think the worst thing a teacher can do is treat students less than, because they are, although small, HUMAN! As well as many other things, it's my job to teach them HOW to human! How to express emotions healthily, show compassion, learn empathy, know one's self worth, and know that failing isn't an end - it's a step forward in the right direction.

So bakery anon, I want you to know, from a teacher that would've loved to have you in class, YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE AMAZING. YOU ARE SO GREAT. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO AND YOU WILL ACHIEVE GREATNESS. DO WHAT YOU LOVE, DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOUR DREAMS ARE SHIT. DREAMS ARE WHAT KEEP YOU HUMAN! NEVER, EVER, EVER STOP DREAMING!

[liveblogsandthots]

this is my official coming out as a dean winchester girly post so here it goes

okay so something that i saw a while ago and has been bugging me since was a dean anti being like bla bla bla dean winchester is so pathetic for being upset and sad for his dad leaving him and doing his own thing when sam when to college like he was in his twenties he should have been fine it wasn’t a big deal whatever

im not going to come on here and say that dean was perfect and never did anything wrong or anything like that because boy howdy did the writers give him some questionable lines/plot points (kicking cas out of the bunker, how he first interacted with jack, three of the cheerleaders are legal) but jensen plays him in such a compelling way and his character is just really interesting but i just cannot get behind this take that he shouldn’t have been fucked up by this

we all know that if you look up codependent in the dictionary sam and dean would show up and john winchester is responsible for that. they grew up hoping from town to town barely staying long enough to make friends much less figure out how to keep in contact especially without social media and texting being what it is today. there were some other semi stable presences in their lives like bobby and pastor jim but they were still always temporary. now. when sam leaves for stanford he takes half the people in deans support system with him and he’s not good at staying in contact as we know from the pilot when they mention they haven’t talked in two years. also! deans not upset because his brother is leaving for college, he’s upset because thanks to john winchester’s a+ parenting he’s leaving for good, he’s not coming back for some weekends or for any other breaks, he’s leaving as in gone and planning on staying gone. but anyways when sam leaves that leaves john as the only person in deans life that he knows and is in contact with. he is not some normal twenty something living away from home for the first time and his complaining because he has to figure stuff out on his own, he is a deeply traumatized and lonely young man who literally has no one else in his life after his dad starts going on hunts without him. the only people he sees and talks to are strangers and it’s always small talk or maybe comforting the occasional victim and doing the occasional interview

he’s not being overdramatic for being hurt by being left by the only people he has left in the world. his experiences are not the same as a normal persons and obviously he’s not going to react the same way and that is okay! it is completely justified! also even if i did have a normal life with friends and coworkers and aunts uncles and cousins i would probably also be upset and a little depressed if my dad and my brother walked out on me and then barely contacted me after they left at pretty much any age??

anyways that was my little rant not sure if it makes sense to anyone else but just wanted to put it out there

[pinkkittysaw]

I agree with your tags on that rb btw angel!! I don’t shame anyone’s decision to have a kid. Hell, every mother in my family except for one has had at least two kids before 22. And that’s fine!! I think at least for me my gripe is the social media aspect of it. So much of the content coming from family vloggers / family tiktokers is making profit off of children without the kids consent or even having children for the sake of views… or putting kids personal info / medical info out there… and I do feel like a lot of what we see paints a certain lifestyle that statistically is unattainable for most young families (unless they convert to Mormonism akdjskdj that’s a whole other topic) idk something about the social media aspects of it rubs me the wrong way in a “Christian fascism conspiracy” kinda way LOL.

But I did see some tags on that post that are just shaming young families and that’s just not right.

- aleks

for context, i deleted a reblog to this tumblr post here but i will share the tags of that post under the cut since i took a screenshot of them then deleted the post after i got this ask

i definitely didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t agree with my tags. my problems with the post were honestly from other people who reblogged it, not with that you said in particular /lh

i agree with you on your points in regards to the social media aspect of it all and the harmful effects of “influencers” showboating their children online for views/interactions. i think it’s very weird…to say the least.

obviously this is a lot more nuanced than a simple brush stroke of, “it’s all bad or it all isn’t”. there’s a million and one factors and a million and one scenarios to each individual situation and that’s why it can be difficult to articulate points on a particular situation, especially on social media.

i do think the people on social media who paint staying at home and having kids as something that should be ideal for every “woman” and romanticize it as well are also harmful. especially if said people making these posts are earning an exuberant amount of $$$, when that’s not the case for most people today.

(i don’t want to be negligent of the fact that women aren’t the only gender who can and do give birth but often times when consuming media where these social norms are praised, cis women are often the target audience specifically although these social norms do effect all people who can give birth)

social media heavily influences people, i definitely won’t deny that.

there are people and institutions in place that are abusive and preach/push this rhetoric that staying at home and raising a family while still being young is the most fulfilling/best/only option one can have. i don’t want to take away from anyone’s experience from the harm that’s caused.

i am very much a proponent of educating people on sex, birth control, pregnancy, financial independence/literacy because unfortunately, some of these stay at home moms/wives/girlfriends are put in abusive situations and have nothing to fall back on to help themselves rebuild their life.

I GET that is the point with a lot of posts like the one i initially reblogged are ultimately saying.

I GET that they’re criticizing world views that have kept women in an oppressed position for so long.

(not to say that they aren’t still oppressed in today’s society but hopefully you (general) get what i mean with my point)

my biggest biggest problem with all these posts is that they don’t critique the harmful institutions that create scenarios where domestic violence/misogyny/ general harm may arise, they just broadly critique all young parents (and mothers especially).

that’s truly my main issue with it all. not every young parent was forced to have children and to imply that the only “valid” (for lack of a better term) reason for people to have children that young is if they were in a position where they were forced to is also…wrong.

my mom had me when she was in her teens (later teens but still) she wasn’t forced or coerced into choosing to keep me, does that then make her decision “wrong” or make her a shameful person for choosing to keep me? even though she was young? and “didn’t have a future” like so many people in the reblogs love to say. i should surely hope not.

not everyone’s life stories look the same. i too wanted kids. back when i was eighteen i genuinely thought my future was going to contain three little kiddos and a husband. it was only little over a year ago, that i realized that wasn’t really the life i wanted to have, at least for the time being (granted, the time gap between 18-21 isn’t really a large one). me choosing to not pursue a life with children does not make me a better or worse person and that’s the root of what i think all these posts are about.

“you’re inherently wrong and bad for choosing to have kids at a young age” except now it’s repackaged to seem more feminist than before when really, it’s the same exact branding of shame that teen moms have been getting for years and it’s that same shame that prevents people from reaching out and getting the resources they need.

it doesn’t matter what my personal views on teen/young adult pregnancy are because there are always going to be young parents regardless of the amount of education we give them. some people just want to have kids at a young age and that doesn’t make them inherently bad people.

if people who make posts like that want to critique trad wife culture, christian conservatism (which is indeed a whole other can of worms), other systems in place that take advantage of vulnerable girls/women and force them into give birth at a young age, i’m all for it. i just wish they wouldn’t go about it in the most obtuse way possible because then you get a thousand people in the tags being like “i feel sorry for my friend who’s having a kid” “you’re young and stupid too why bring a kid in this world”

the shame that these posts create and endorse is what i have a problem with, not the actual message behind it.

ANYWAY, this was all very long winded but i wanted to make sure i got out everything i wanted to say. also this was more of a general post on my whole thoughts on the matter, not specifically to you aleks /lh

i never meant to imply that you held the beliefs that i was criticizing in that initial reblog and i apologize if it came across like i was.

[thru-the-looking-glass-caroline]

Health issues & uninformed doctors and nurses...how I deal in eating disorder recovery

Let me warn anyone reading this: this post does deal with eating disorders & things like getting weighed & although I won't ever give specific details that could be more obviously sensitive/triggering I do want to still give a forewarning. It's important for me to mention too, that I am NOT in any way a professional in anything...all my blog posts are solely my opinions and my own experience and what has helped me etc. Also this particular post might be a little disorganized. My posts on this blog are things that I pre-plan & think on and rewrite before I post them because when it comes to mental health issues and even some physical health struggles I don't ever want to be reckless with my words, however this post is not planned - a very impulsive blog post triggered by an interaction at a doctor appointment this morning. You have been warned.

To start this out let me give you the situation from earlier today that was the catalyst for this blog...

I had 2 doctor appointments this morning the first was just my annual bone scan because I have osteopenia I have my bone density checked once a year to make sure it has not decreased any further and moved in to full on osteoporosis. My second appointment was with cardiology and I was not seeing my main cardiologist today, this was a last minute squeeze me in kind of appointment because my medication has quit working quite as well as it should - not anything really major but something to sort out before things get worse and become a major problem so they just squeezed me into whichever doctor at my cardiologist office could fit me in their schedule. Got through my first appointment & bone scan with out an issue and so I go to my appointment at the cardiologist. Now had I seen my regular cardiologist today I don't think this would have happened because He knows my background and history but I didn't see him I saw a female cardiologist today...we'll name her Dr. Jones for this post. Dr. Jones comes into the room after the nurse has done my weight and vitals and noted the issue I am being seen for & made sure the list of medications I take that they have on file is up to date and correct. Along with my heart medications I take thyroid medication [I have hyperthyroidism], an antidepressant, a prescription sleeping pill and a few different prescribed supplements and vitamins [again because of the hyperthyroidism and also malabsorption syndrome I have]. So Dr. Jones comes in to the room and is looking over the nurses notes. She asks me about what condition I have that I take thyroid medications and a list of supplements and vitamins for. My answer; I have hyperthyroidism(aka an over active thyroid) & malabsorption syndrome. Dr. Jones is kind of chuckling when she next says to me "that must be your secret to being slim but I guess you could probably get skinnier if you didn't take those medications!" & you can just cue my face palm after that comment.

Here's the thing; I am in recovery for anorexia and orthorexia and I say in recovery rather than recovered because I don't want to portray myself in such a way where some, especially in the world of social media, see calling myself recovered as l have all my shit figured out (spoiler I definitely do not) and I don't need space held for a struggle or a mistake now and then. That being said I have been actively in recovery from anorexia and Orthorexia for a few years now. I have not known my weight since I entered recovery...my doctors and parents know. I do know I have been maintaining a healthy weight and I have been doing well enough in eating disorder recovery that I no longer have to have specialized eating disorder therapists and mental health treatment team (I see a therapist who is more specialized in treating PTSD and trauma now). I am happy in my recovery and although this comment from Dr. Jones today didn't shake me or "trigger " eating disorder thought patterns it certainly could have a few years ago. Also this is not the only experience I have had with a doctor or nurse that is eating disorder insensitive/could be triggering.

It is such a tricky thing because what I have experienced tells me most medical professionals are not adequately trained or educated in eating disorders and how to interact with patients who have a history of eating disorders. I don't blame Dr. Jones in this situation she just didn't know my history & really other than my initial face palm reaction to her comment...I didn't have any further negative reaction, feelings or thoughts over it at this point in my recovery. I did want to talk about some things I have done in order to deal with situations like this because eating disorders are quite common anymore and since my health puts me in a lot of doctor offices I find myself in these situations pretty often

First thing I have done in the past is to be sure I tell whoever I am seeing up front that I am recovering from eating disorders OR if you maybe don't want to tell them about an eating disorder you can just say you struggle with insecurities with weight and your body. I have found most of the time this helps whatever doctor or nurse be more conscious of what they are saying to you. I think in the world we live in weight loss, body shape and all of that talk is so main stream and common casual conversation that most see it as harmless small talk...it's something in America that is common ground to relate to and because most are not so informed & aware of eating disorders most of the things someone says that could be unhelpful to another's recovery is not intentional - it is said purely from a place of ignorance around eating disorders so being upfront with whoever you see is key.

Now since you can not really control other people the rest of my tips that help are all about work that you, the person who has dealt with an eating disorder, has to do in order to not react in a negative, triggered, upset, spiraling fashion when shit is said. That being said find people to vent to and to keep you accountable when things happen - Preferably find ...I'd say at least 3 people you can call on when you find an interaction or situation has stirred up some eating disorder shit [the list of 3 people should not count your therapist. I think it's important to have people to call on & talk to that are friends and family you can trust because you have to be able to get through things without a therapist at some point].

It was really important for me to work on, for lack of a better word, desensitize myself to the comments and situations that "triggered " the anorexia and Orthorexia garbage so eventually I stopped having a triggered reaction to them otherwise recovery is really fucking hard and even more isolating because others may trigger you. You can and should try to communicate and educate people about eating disorders but also you have to realize that the best way to avoid being eating disorder triggered by outside people, conversations, situations etc is for you to find a way to talk about, think about, & deal with those triggers so they don't trigger you anymore. It sounds so shitty but I found the most helpful thing for me is to take I guess responsibility for my triggers and accept that the world is not going to stop being triggering & they really are not responsible for how I respond either in a triggered or more healthy way to a comment, situation or whatever. It sucks but honestly it's one of the best things I did to help myself in eating disorder recovery because now there is not much that shakes me in my recovery.

I have to wrap this post up - it is already really long so the last thing I want to say is Dr. Jones was not out of line in what she said to me today. Even though yes, earlier on in my eating disorder recovery her comment could have sent me in a tail spin...medically her comment was factual...without medication to manage my hyperthyroidism I would lose weight & I have said that on this blog and my main blog before, without medication I would rapidly lose weight despite my food/caloric intake so this is just another reason why dealing with triggers, thinking about them differently and moving on from them being triggering has been so important because the outside world doesn't have much power over my emotions, behaviors, thoughts and decision for recovery anymore...they don't trigger me. Anyways again I am not any sort of professional in anything...this is all just my experience and my opinion having dealt with eating disorders and other mental health issues and physical health issues.

[oat-malk]

i've been trying to articulate why exactly i'm not comfortable conversing with/following minors online, and i think it boils down to:

the kind of things you talk to your friends about doesn't really change with age. when you turn 18, you don't suddenly start talking about Adult Things any more than you would have as a kid. it's the same. your interests might change with age and your priorities in life might reshuffle as you get more responsibilities, but the conversations you have with your friends don't really look any different.

and when you're a young adult, and you're not used to being a Real Adult, you don't get the "wow what a youngster! look at that young baby!" response when you see teenagers going about their day. you don't feel much different at 21 than you do when you're 16. you have to consciously remind yourself that you're not just like them anymore, that at some point in the last few years, you gained Actual Societal Power over the people you're used to seeing as your equals.

it takes a conscious mental effort to remain aware of and careful with that power imbalance. when i was a teenager i could talk to other teenagers about my problems, my love life, school/studies - because we were equals. and suddenly we're not equals anymore and i have to pass everything i say through another filter.

friendship to me is about equality. you listen to each other, help each other out, provide support - as well as obviously hanging out and having fun and joking around. but i don't want emotional support from a teenager. i don't want to complain about my job and my family to a teenager. doing so has the potential to cause real harm; doing emotional labour for someone who you aren't on equal footing with can be traumatic (i know from personal experience). and let's be real, most of the jokes i make with my friends, i also would not want to make around a teenager. i'm just not capable of having a fulfilling friendship with a kid because being a Safe Adult To Be Around requires that i zip my mouth and not talk to them anything like how i talk to my friends.

i can't be friends with a kid, and i don't want to parent/mentor anyone, and i'm much more inclined to spend my social energy on talking to people my age than i am on figuring out how to appropriately reply to some teenager's DM. it's mentally draining at best, and at worst it has the capacity to do measurable damage or get someone in trouble.

additionally, i'm queer + trans + most commonly read as a man, which means that right-wingers already think i'm a groomer. i'm also awkward and autistic and i don't know how to gracefully tell people that i'm not comfortable talking to them without my boundaries coming across as optional. the only way i can effectively enforce my boundaries is to block/softblock/ghost the other person and move on.

i get that it's hurtful when you're a teen and it feels like no adults other than your teachers and family care to talk to you - it's like everyone thinks you're too immature for them. i felt the same frustration when i was a kid and i didn't understand why my age was such a huge issue to the adults i tried to speak to online. but it's really not about you and it's not personal; it's that adults can't relax around you because they have to be in Responsible Mode whenever a kid is nearby.

that's not to say that kids and adults shouldn't share spaces - that's kind of how being in public works, after all. if you're in a communal space, like a park or out on the street, we absolutely *should* be in Responsible Mode because children have as much right to be there as we do. but we also deserve a safe, comfortable, private place where we can unwind and be ourselves and control who we interact with.

i understand that social media isn't completely private, and minors can stumble upon anything i post online. but with features like blocking and muting, i do have some control over who is allowed in my online social circle, and i can flag/censor content so that kids will only see it if they first acknowledge i didn't put it there for them. the internet is not a public place in the same way that the local park is - i can't boot you across the lawn if you approach me in-person, but i can block you if you interact with something nsfw on my blog. i can make my profile an adults-only space and if a kid wanders in then i have the power to remove them to retain my comfort and privacy.

idk. this was a long post. i hope it makes sense. i remember feeling very sad and angry as a kid because it felt like adults never wanted me around and i didn't get why, and i took personal offense to it. i hope if any minor does read this, it helps them to understand. it can be a very stressful argument to have because it's so easily misinterpreted. and i haven't seen very many adults try to explain the reasons why in full detail.

[mouseratz]

sorry your posts earlier are still in my mind . i made a post about it already but minor safety online is really important to me because i Was groomed so when i see people online doing callouts and labeling others as ‘shitty people’ when they’re outwardly expressing clear signs of trauma or abuse etc it irks me so badly . rolling it back to what you said about the porn industry i do think that , to some extent , the porn that people consume during their formative years has an affect on what they end up turning out to be later on , whether or not that shows up as violent misogyny or just weird kink stuff is from person to person i guess but obviously i don’t think it’s the Sole reason . people who are misogynistic have Far more going on in their lives than just watching porn where some guy chokes someone and then their brain interprets it as Good Thing because oftentimes ( and i think you said this ) they’re surrounded by people in their life who are agreeing with those statements and regurgitating them for said person to believe . i think to say that the media we consume ( even pornographic ) has no bearing on the real world or personality development at all is a lousy statement because time and time again it’s proven that we become what we’re exposed to the most and while that’s always subject to change with time the people who say that it doesn’t affect us at all are stupid but the people who say that it affects us to the extent that say , fox news or whatever says it does , well they’re equally as stupid . idk i think im just rambling at this point but i really wish there was some good way for parents to be equal parts involved with their kids life and making sure they’re not exposed to harmful content online while kids are also allowed to just exist in online spaces because they are so often harmful and made as off putting as possible

yeah, fair, I would agree with all of that, and broadly I don't want my earlier posts to be interpreted as "nothing you interact with matters ever" but I do feel people are very reactive to anything remotely taboo even if it's kept relatively private even if it's mostly vanilla especially for women it's seen as like a Shocking Scandal if they might Enjoy Sex & interact with other adults about it (and doubly if you're gay or trans because of the idea of the sexually predatory lesbian or predatory trans woman being so widespread)....but I also think the taboo-ness of even very simple sexual things can make people really unprepared for even just emotionally handling topics of sex and sexuality; much of it is not done to keep anyone safe (which sexual education CAN do in certain scenarios/types of abuse), but rather because of that Christian belief of moral impurity.

that being said, on the internet, I don't think the wild West/anything goes type style works well to keep minors safe either. In general, I think the Internet and the way it's changed the way people can interact in all ways has left everyone very ill-equipped as to what the best way to moderate vs not will be effective (and in lieu of a proper, well-thought-out answer, advertisers are answering for us.) (also, this is not me saying Internet All Evil, but rather the problems we already had with keeping kids safe sexually are only being magnified through it.) There is also a conflict between what's a reasonable expectation for privacy (which is ALSO a safety issue, especially in cases of abusive family situations) vs protection (often through supervision or restriction) on the internet for minors is......and thats a real discussion, but again, advertisers and governmental interests cut them short (ie the tiktok ban is not for any of the right reasons and extreme mostly because the us would like to keep the money here and doesnt 'trust" china with it, despite every other social media having the same damn problems). Idk. It's fucked

[wolint]

GODLY INFLUENCER

GODLY INFLUENCER

Matthew 5:13-16

 

Now, more than ever before in the history of humanity, has man began to take another’s word instead of God’s as laws to live by. An influencer is a person who inspires or guides the actions of others, one able to generate interest in something or someone by posting about it on social media. We now have so many influencers in varying shapes, organisations, product lines and sectors but not so much in the spiritual setting.

Yet believers have been called to be influencers wherever they find themselves, because we carry Christ and the light of him must shine through us to influence our world.

The social influencer is telling us how-to, where to go, what to, and when to, their influence is far-reaching and impacting that some believers are even following them instead of the scriptures.

Some people have completely thrown away the culture, and lessons they were brought up with to follow the fads purported by influencers as the “now” thing. The scriptures strictly encourage us to follow the teaching of our parents in Proverbs 1:8-9 and not to be influenced by anyone that speaks contrary to what it should be, we are not to entangle ourselves with the ways of the sinner or wicked as stated in Proverbs 22:25.

Our generation follows the advice of influencers, social, financial, professional, and otherwise but would not consult the scriptures for anything. There are influencers in every sector who have followers that will do anything and everything they purport in trying to look, be and sound like them, when what we as believers should be doing is letting the light and word of God in us influence the people we interact with. People should see us and see God and want to have what we have.

Even Satan has more influence than a lot of us believers, as we see in the number of people Jesus delivered from satanic influences in the scriptures such as the one influenced not to speak in Matthew 9:31-33, and many others.

As an influencer, we must be sure that we represent Christ and His kingdom properly. We can’t afford to do things that will turn people away from God, church, or salvation.

It is the good, positive, and upright things we do that influence a person and allows them to glorify the Lord, our Father in heaven, whom they cannot see but see through us.

The world is using subliminal messages to influence people into doing atrocious things to others, committing crimes, and creating false problems, yet the Lord says in 1 Thessalonians 1:6-7 that we have received the word of God so that we can become examples or influencers to other people.

We are a nation that quotes social media influencers in everything we do, we look at what they’re doing, eating, wearing, and the way they act and live to determine what we do when the scripture should be our standard.

We must learn to love the Lord more than anything else and follow His teaching, leading and guidance than we love the word and all its content according to 1 John 2:15-17. History is speeding toward a conclusion planned by God and ungodly influences and influencers are making the pace even faster by influencing people away from the truth and salvation and straight into the arms of the enemy that Christ died to deliver mankind from.

Proverbs 13:20 says "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble." Obviously, influencers make an impact on their audience.

A particularly important caution is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14: "Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers." Do not be unequally yoked with or influenced by unbelievers.

You are an influencer, God made and called you to be a fisher of men in Mark 1:17, which makes us godly and spiritual influencers, so influence people for Christ and don’t be influenced for the devil.

PRAYER: Help me Lord, to not be easily led or allow my soul to be snared by bad company and influence in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Shalom

WOMEN OF LIGHT INT PRAYER MIN.

[ambassadorarlert]

toxic!armin head canons

author’s note: this fr has been a long time coming. it took a while to gather my thoughts lmao. he can’t be sweet all the time, right??😭

warning: modern au. toxic characteristics — obsession, jealousy, possessiveness. gaslighting.

18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

we're not gonna look away from armin's whole underlying character trait of being a known manipulator. he is going to gaslight you.

armin starts his mind games as a last resort. when he's desperate to have his way. when he's being back into a corner, and you're holding your ground in an argument or disagreement. when you're winning and he's losing. he'll play into his unfortunate-baby face-sweet-boy persona and say, "i'm only telling you/doing this because i love you!" armin slaps, "I don't know what you want me to do." at the end of most arguments because he knows it will make you quit arguing out of pure frustration.

we can all agree armin goes through your phone

he immediately clicks on iMessage to see who you’ve been texting. snoops through everything. pictures, contacts, notes. all of it. armin goes all up in your private dm’s, discord, looks through your snapchats. who you’ve been sending tiktoks to. he’s so extra, he even scrolls on your social media timelines. your dash. your fyp. just to see what you’re always looking and giggling at bc who is making you laugh if it’s not him ? arminknows he won’t find anything and that you would never do anything behind his back. but he looks anyway and holds his breath just in case. and, if he does find something he doesn’t like, he will confront you about it and not even address the bigger question

major attachment issues. in bold, italics and regular size font.

the root cause being his parents died when he was really young and was only raised by his grandpa who worked all the time. /: armin definitely has mommy issues. he's very anxious to pleasure you and do everything you want him to bc a.) he's hopelessly devoted to you b.) for some reason he think it'll make you love him more. armin will get really attached to you after the first date, and everything in your relationship moves quickly. he says i love you first. 3 months into the relationship you’re moving in together. engaged after 1 year, married 6 months later. he’s sensitive and in tune with everything you’re doing and feeling and saying. the slightest change in your voice, oh you must be mad at him. when you're literally just tired and have 0 energy, he must be annoying you. armin needs regular reassurance and validation. he will straight up ask “do you still love me?” at least once a day.

armin gets jealous so. so easily.

armin thinks he's not good enough for you and that you deserve someone who can do the things he can't, while simultaneously not being able to bear the thought of you being with another man. he views other guys as a threat and is off-putting on purpose. he goes through your followers and interactions daily and reports guys who leave compliments and thirsts. he gives guys dirty looks when he see's them obviously looking at you. will ask trap questions like "would you still be with me if you could start your life over?" armin is well liked among your girlfriends but makes no effort with your guy friends, and has succeeded in distancing you from a few of them. he disguises ultimatums as open communication. armin's jealousy is a delicate spectrum.

he's very possessive of you.

you're his everything and he wants everyone to know that. you're so gorgeous, he's not gonna hide you away. armin recognizes that you're your own person, and you can show off however you'd like. as long as he's somewhere in the background. he encourages that you tag him in all your posts. he fights for his life trying to convince you to let him come with you while you go out with your friends and he wins most of the time. but when he has to stay home, he stays up and waits for you, he double/triple texts and asks when you'll be home even though you made a point to give him a timeframe. and don't even be 5 minutes late because armin already has seventy-five questions lined up. if he's feeling extra silly, he'll start a fight over text. 🤪

2023. do not copy or repost any work by arlertwitch on any other platform. violators will be prosecuted. 🪼 — @artsyblkblocked / @sleazymac-n-cheesy / @arlerts-angel / @chiinni / @aegonslawyer / @stoned-eren /

[aizenat]

First of all, as a rule of thumb, if someone reblogs a post and says something in the tags and not on the post itself, that’s because the person ISNT looking to engage with OP. If this post got like 1000 reblogs with ppl disagreeing in the tags, would you do this to everyone? If so, it’s manic behavior and I’d recommend seeking help with managing that because it comes across as unhinged and is just generally unhealthy.

Meaning, if you had beef with me agreeing with the person I reblogged this from, then take that up with THEM, not me. I didn’t ask nor send for you.

Second, I’m not reading your ten page MLA formatted essay on a fucking show. The person I reblogged from succinctly explained our problem with your op. I’m not saying shit about you denying the racial dynamics but rather your weird take on gender. You’re on some shit I don’t agree with there plain and simple. And based on that, you don’t strike me as the person I would want to hear your takes on the racial dynamics between them either.

I don’t care about any of this! No one cares about any of this! This is why the person I reblogged this from said what they said! You’re trying to over complicate something and make an argument no one cares about. Like fuck keep your dissertations on your page and leave ppl passively engaging with your post alone.

Idk if you’re Black, but i sure as hell fucking am. Real Black, dark skinned, with two dark skinned Black parents and a Black ass family living my Black ass life. I was a part of media critique discussions for well over a decade, and was a mod on a site where we literally talked about shit like this long before it went mainstream and got annoying. I’ve actually read books and poems from Black revolutionists, lgbt ones at that, and was part of the communities having talks about gender and sexuality and expectations long before zoomers who got their political and social takes from Twitter in a post Trump world started jumping in with their uninformed hot takes.

This is how I know your OP is a bunch of bs and why I’m sure if I actually gave you the benefit of the doubt and click on your link to another post (as if it’s my responsibility to go through someone’s entire page before I reblog a critique of their post to make sure they didn’t address it on another post; if you’re that interested in “correcting me” or whatever then reiterate your point instead of adding links fucking lazy ass), whatever you said would be more rambling incoherent saying-nothing garbage.

A good lesson you obviously are still learning is picking and choosing your battles. You waste everyone’s time and energy (including yourself) when you engage with someone who doesn’t give a flying fuck what you have to say. Pick on someone who actually cared enough to leave a proper retort on your post, not someone who said something quick in the tags and then doesn’t interact with anything you post again. You can’t fight everyone and make everyone agree with you and not everyone WANTS to go back and forth as you attempt to convert them to your way of thinking. Learn when to agree to disagree and who is worth engaging with. You’ll be surprised how much freer you’ll feel once you let go of that obsessive need to be right all the time.

The whole framing of Lestat as the sole symbol of patriarchy that fandom is so desperate to put him in doesn't work unless you deliberately ignore how he was also a victim of rape and abuse before he was turned. People want him to be fit into this strict role of "father figure/violent husband/perpetrator" that is only that and not even a whole person, and in doing so they need to push aside the fact that despite being his family's provider, he was also pushed into that role when his father forbid him from joining a monastery or gaining an education that he wanted. Lestat wanted to run away with a theater group as a kid, and actually managed to do so once Gabrielle gave him her blessing and monetary support in order to go to Paris. He didn't always want to be the provider, he was forced into that role and became despondent when he thought he would never get a chance to leave his home.

His new life prior to being turned is pretty much the antithesis to the whole "Lestat is a manly man who would sooner throw up than be compared to a woman" spiel: he lived with another man in Paris while also being an actor, having left his family and "responsibility" to them. The only family member he was ever close to was his mother, all the other male members shunned or ridiculed him. Add onto that the fact that his turning firmly placed him within the role of the damsel/victim: he's kidnapped from his bed by a stranger, taken into a tower and left to rot while being fed on for a week, before then being raped and violently turned all while never even being asked if he would consent to it in any normal circumstance. But you of course have to ignore all of this if you want him to only represent the aggressor/patriarch while Louis is the helpless unhappy matriarch of the family.

My issue isn't that I think Louis isn't a victim, it's that it's not unrealistic for Lestat to be an aggressor/abuser while also displaying traits that aren't regularly assigned to stereotypical depictions of male characters. He's abusive to Claudia while also having been a victim of abuse from his own family. He's not a good maker/teacher, but he also didn't even have one when he was turned. He's the provider/attempted protector of the family and seemed to like being that, while also having run away from his own family prior to this to act in a theater in Paris. He's a rich white man while also being obviously effeminate in public spaces, even to Tom's own bigoted humor.

Like Louis' own complicated story with being his family's benefactor and provider, you can't firmly place Lestat as being one thing or another in terms of gender ideals without deliberately ignoring parts about him that don't fit this. And I don't think it's an absolute necessity, when even in Louis' own story, Lestat isn't stripped of his effeminate mannerisms or behavior while also being the abusive maker/father/lover.

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

[princessbubblgumm]

About me 💖💖💖

My name is Anna but I’m obsessed with Adventure time so everyone calls me PB 💖

I just turned 19 so my parents have let me make my own social media’s and the first one I made was this 🙈 I’ve had a big crush on my mom for years now but I’m not allowed to pursue it 🥺 so I want to find a different mommy (and maybe a sister too!) to play with and share things with 💖 I’m lesbian but I also like trans women/ mommy’s 💖

‼️MEN: I feel like I have to spell this out a lot more then I should. I’m going to say this for like the 5th time I. Am. Lesbian. Clearly every man on this app has no idea what that means, lesbian means I am sexually attracted only to women & trans women. I do not like men, I am not interested in men, I do not care about men, I do not want to talk to men, I do not want to share pics with men, I do not want interactions from men, I do not waste my time on men because I am lesbian (see above for definition since I’m sure if you’re a man you’ve already forgotten). I will not waste my time on accounts that have no age, no gender, no posts & especially on accounts who send pics that are very obviously fake or change all the time proving you’re only going around pretending to be a woman to get nudes then send them to other people without permission.

I play with myself while watching Disney princess lesbian porn but my real life mommy gets mad at me 😞 but I can’t help it! 🥺 I looooove Ariel and jasmine soooo much 🥺🥺

I have a lot of dirty kinks and fetishes so I have almost no limits other than pain 💖 I am a little and I love age play!

Do for snap girls only and picture required as proof men & stupid people will be immediately blocked

[adickaboutspoons]

The original post was totes a joke, but buckle up, buttercup, it's time for adickaboutspoons (sadly, america-centric) guide to grown-up playtime (not like that, you pervs). free-to-inexpensive: 1) playgrounds - yeilding equipment to kids is always best practice, but taking my kiddo around has taught me that there are always some playgrounds that are going to be less popular than others, and some are pretty regularly deserted. Assuming you have your own transport, look for a public park that's just slightly too big to be easily walkable. Most parents aren't going to haul their cookies all the way out there unless it's to take their kid on a nature walk, not to play on the playground. Bonus! It's outdoors and meant to appeal to a wide range of age-groups, so they're more likely to have adult-size swings and climbing structures that are sturdy and will support more weight. You may have to experiment with times/days to see when the playground is least populated, but, like, your taxes DO pay for the parks, so you ARE allowed to use them.

2) trampoline/bouncy house pay-for-play venues - they're mostly aimed at kids, but there's not an age limit, and I can tell you from experience no one's going to look at you twice if you wanna bounce. If you have a little bit of yard to call your own or know someone who does, there are also bouncy house rental companies that will come set up and take it down for less than you're prolly imagining; it's more expensive than a couple of hours at one of the brick-and-mortar places, obviously, but you get it all day for just you and whoever you decide to invite (and there are bouncy waterslide options. just sayin) There are also 5 Ks that travel around with Bouncy House themes if you want other grown-ups around to make you feel less self-conscious. There's no pressure to run, btw, if you were worried.

2) boardgame parlors - pay a small fee, play as long as you care to stay, and you get to try out games you might find interesting without having to drop money on them first. (some public libraries also have games you can check out, too) 3) Barcades - Not just Dave-and-Busters, there have been several small establishments have have popped up in my downtown area that, by nature of being bars, are kid-free (and the smaller joints usually have unlimited free play as long as someone in your party is drinking) 4) speaking of games - https://oldgamesdownload.com/ https://www.scarecrowsfield.com/about

5) on-line scavenger hunt communities - my wife and I used to do GISH (the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt), which was NOT exactly cheap, but also is no more, alas. The good news is that a lot of the people who participated are still down for it on their own, and have formed groups where they have posted the old hunt lists, and are putting together prompts of their own. I mostly know it from Facebook, but I'm sure you can find groups on just about any Social Media platform. (btw - people really do want to be generous and helpful and will say yes to letting you do weird shit in public more often than you expect) Need a scavenger hunt with stakes to get you motivated? My wife has done Cotopaxi Questival a couple of times (24-hour hunt time limit), and enjoyed herself. They're on insta and twitter if you want to see when they'll be in your neck of the woods. 6) resources I've used for finding weird/fun stuff to do/see near me (or along the way if you're taking a trip anyway): https://www.atlasobscura.com/ https://roadtrippers.com/ not-so-inexpensive: There's a marvellous children's science museum near me that does once-a-month "After Dark" events for grown-ups only where you can still interact with the exhibits without having to worry about bogarting them from kids, but they also serve alcoholic beverages, and often have just-for-the-night events (my wife and I have done it a couple of times, and once there was an American Gladiators finale-style course, and once there was an American Ninja set up). It's cheaper for the event if you have a membership, but that requires you to be able to afford a membership. Even so, it's not that much more than you would expect to spend on a dinner-and-a-movie datenight these days, so look into your local science museums and see if they do something similar! I'm not as familiar with options for seniors; I'm only just 42, and my joints and I are still on speaking terms. I agree that there definitely SHOULD be more grown-up play options, though, but there are def. rescourses available, especially if you decide to be shameless ;)

thinking about how fucked up it is that my high school didn't have a playground. THINKING ABOUT HOW FUCKED UP IT IS THAT MY UNI DOESN'T HAVE A PLAYGROUND! THINKING ABOUT HOW FUCKED UP IT IS THAT THERE AREN'T ADULT PLAYGROUNDS EVERYWHERE!!!!

[remythologise]

as my resident spn blogger, can you please explöain what the hell is going on?

I SIMPLY LOVE WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME THAT I AM THEIR RESIDENT SPN BLOGGER, it's an honour to be here to represent my nation at your own personal tumblr olympics etc... okay well. Essentially, the SPN actors Jensen Ackles and his wife Danneel Ackles formed a company called 'Chaos Machine Productions' (You can't make this up. Chaos Machine. Well. They sure did name it accurately!). Yesterday, two main things happened with respect to that company - firstly, news that the head of development at the company was actively campaigning for more LGBT+ stories, and the instagram having a pride icon etc., which was IMMEDIATELY BURIED by the news that this production company seemingly have the rights to the Supernatural intellectual copyright, and for their first show are working on a show about the 'epic love story' of John and Mary Winchester.

Now, this was controversial with ALL sides of online fandom (Destiel shippers, Wincest shippers, bibros/redditors, etc.) because John Winchester is widely (but not universally) regarded as an abusive father towards Sam and Dean, so the proposition of putting him as a protagonist did Not sit well with most people. In addition, you have the Destiel faction pissed off that this series obviously doesn't address Castiel or Destiel, and the Wincest/BiBro faction pissed off it's... not about the brothers. Nobody really wants a show about Sam and Dean's parents. Hell, they're not really an 'epic love story' - canonically they only fell in love because angels wanted their bloodlines for Sam and Dean to be born, so they forced love through cherub magic. However, at the helm is Robbie Thompson, one of Supernatural's very best and most Destiel & LGBT-friendly writers. Once initial ire dies down people are a bit more optimistic to know Jensen seems to have the rights to Supernatural in general and wants to do a lot of 'gap filling' with regards to canon.

Anyway this news was retweeted by Jensen... and then by Misha, who seemed to, along with other members of the cast such as Rowena, Anna and Adam's actors, kind of say 'haha room for us??? spare employment???' But oh, then Jared Padalecki logged on and made it very clear that he was not aware of this prequel series and was pretty pissed off about not being in it or aware of it. Basically livetweeted a public best-friendship fall out. He even TWEETED Robbie Thompson with this, (and then deleted it) which is honestly. Pretty wild. He may or may not have also unfollowed/refollowed Misha and Jensen on twitter/instagram (sources around this are sketchy). That's the summary of events. Jared has also followed up with a tweet this morning which is. Very funny to me, no further comment.

This also adds to the 'J2 Fallout Theory' (J'squared' referring to Jensen and Jared) that Jensen and Jared, despite famously being very close friends on the show, became Less Close in the wake of a season finale that had Dean killed off and centred around Sam, which Jared seemed to like and Jensen... did not seem to like. Adding to this are the tidbits that Jensen apparently turned down a) the starring role and then b) a directing part on Walker, Jared's current CW show, and that Danneel and Gen Padalecki unfollowed each other on social media. This whole thing has also led to retroactive viewing of J2 interactions like this in a new light.

Biggest L of course to the J2 romantic relationship truthers. RIP to the oldest conspiracy theorists in the fandom. And also the CONVENTIONS that are booked with J2 PANELS AS THE MAIN MONEY-MAKING ATTRACTION.

In addition, various writers have tweeted or liked comments that added fuel to the fire around the issue. (i.e. show creator Eric Kripke confirming he knew about it and liking Misha's tweet, writer Robert Berens laughing at the J2 truthers, Sebastian Roche casting shade on Jared in code, Meghan Fitzmartin just… liking that… tumblr text post... Meanwhile writer Steve Yockey meanwhile liking shady tweets about bad showrunners which seems like almost entirely unrelated shade @ Robert Singer and/or Andrew Dabb and/or others.) But the summary is: content is BACK ON, baby!

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖