#my own terror of one-on-one conversations heightened by a guy who is EVEN WORSE than I am at carrying his half lmao

[blujayonthewing]

welp

[exhaustedfander]

“What if I told you that I love you?” Chapter Four

a03 link

Previous Chapter

Writing Masterpost link

Word Count: 2,613

Here’s the final chapter! I’d love to hear what you guys think. This was a really fun little story to write.

Closing the door behind him, Logan sees that Virgil’s been waiting in the hall. From the expression of relief on his face, it looks as though he wasn’t expecting him to remerge.

“Hey – are you okay? He didn’t try anything, did he?” Logan really will need to find out what happened between those two, all those years ago someday.

“It was a very civil discussion. I’m perfectly fine,” he says, voice clipping slightly. Virgil frowns.

“L, what’s wrong?”

“I’ve messed up. Terribly. And I need to set things right.” The concern etched into Virgil’s face deepens as he takes a step closer to Logan, grabbing hold of his wrist.

“Whoa, hey, are – are you sure about that? I mean, you were kinda a mess back there a little bit ago. Not – not that there’s anything wrong with that! I totally get it, man, I mean, same. It’s just…” Virgil trails off, and he’s trying so damn hard to be there for Logan as much as he can be, but he’s so scared for him, “I’m… worried about you.”

The last sentence is muttered under his breath and Logan is once again reminded how much he cares about his friend. He pulls away from Virgil’s grip on his wrist, instead wrapping his arms around the emo. The embrace is a bit stuff, a little clumsy, and Logan isn’t sure if it’s for Virgil’s benefit or his own, but it’s helping a little. Virgil hugs him back, sighing at the contact.

“Your concern is appreciated,” Logan breaths out, “I know that you’re looking out for me, and I thank you for that. But… this is something that I need to do.” Logan releases Virgil from the embrace, seeing that heightened look of terror still gleaming in his eyes. Even so, Virgil shoves his hands in his pockets and nods.

“Okay. I… I get that. I’m sorry, for being such a thorn in your side, or whatever,” Virgil mutters, his eyes landing on the floor, “I know I worry too-fucking-much…”

“You by no means have any reason to apologize,” Logan responds quickly, praying he comes off reassuring, “Virgil, you calmed me down from a panic attack. You stayed by my side in the worst of emotional turmoil, you are an exceptional friend, and one I am endlessly grateful to have. Your worry being a little heightened is absolutely nothing to be sorry for; you are vigilant, and you’re looking after me. That is nothing to be ashamed of.”

Virgil looks back up to meet Logan’s gaze, the hint of an anxious smile in his upturned lip.

“Shit, L, has Remus really turned you into that much of a sap?” Logan clears his throat, far louder than necessary, which turns Virgil’s smirk into a shit-eating-grin in a matter of seconds. At least he looks less terrified, even if it is a little at Logan’s expense. “I don’t know what you mean,” Logan says as if he doesn’t know that his friend is entirely correct.

“Yeah, whatever man. You’re a good friend and I’m really thankful to have you around, and all that,” Virgil says, trying and failing to downplay the fondness in his tone. It’s clear that he’s still very anxious for his friend, but he’s doing what he can to trust that things will be okay, something Logan knows certainly isn’t easy for him. “So… you’re really gonna face this thing, huh?”

“I am,” Logan says, taking a deep breath, “I have to.”

“Well then, I hope it goes good,” Virgil says, struggling to sound chipper but doing his best, “Seriously, if this is what you want, then I want you to get this. I want you to be happy.”

“Thank you, Virgil,” Logan says, feeling nervous anticipation welling in him, “For everything.” “Sure thing, L,” Virgil says, watching as Logan disappears down the hall and towards the common room.

Logan knows he’s very likely not prepared for whatever scene he may stumble upon and is quickly proven right when he walks into the room.

Patton is sitting on the couch with Remus beside him, who is presently sobbing loudly into his hands. The sight is immediately heart-wrenching, to a point where Logan has to brace himself against the wall for a moment. In all the time he’s spent with the intrusive side, he’s never seen him so emotionally raw, so broken. Patton tries to set a comforting hand on the small of his back before Remus swats it out, letting out an animalistic growl. Patton flinches. Logan hadn’t ever wanted this, not in the least bit.

“Remus?” His voice pipes up, coming out far more anxious than he intends. Remus’s head jerks up, eyes meeting Logan’s in a moment of primal emotion Logan doesn’t know how to name. Fear seems to be fairly present, though, that he does know.

“Go – go away, nerdy Wolverine!” He says, scrubbing at his eyes with his sleeve, but the makeup that’s run down his cheeks seems intent on staying put.

Patton’s eyes dart from Remus to Logan, desperation evident. While Patton and Remus are by no means close, Patton never misses an opportunity to be there for his “kiddos,” especially not since Janus’s acceptance and Remus, somewhat reluctantly, being accepted to be in their presence.

“Remus, I-I would like to speak with you.” Logan curses the weakness of his voice, the way it trembles. He’s usually so sure of everything he says, but now, he’s out of his depth and doubt seems to overcast everything that he does.

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to talk to you,” Remus says indignantly in much the way a child might, but the sorrow in his voice is impossible to miss, “S-so you can fuck right off.”

Logan takes a grounding breath before walking into the room and motioning for Patton to leave. The Fatherly side lingers for a moment, anxious to leave Remus in such a state, but the look Logan sends him seems to get the message across that they need some space to converse. Patton gets up from the couch and wordlessly slinks out of the room. The tension that hangs thick in the air is palpable, and Logan can’t be sure what will happen next, only that it probably won’t be ideal.

"Don’t you dare get any closer,” Remus warns as Logan takes another step forward, and the logical side freezes, “I bite.”

Remus is doing his damndest to being intimidating, and while Logan has never actually been afraid of him, this scares him. The damage he’s clearly done, the uncertainty of how this could all play out, his own complicated, difficult to understand emotions at play. It all combines into a situation Logan never imagined he could possibly be in, and he can’t help but wish that he was better at dealing with emotions, or didn’t have them altogether.

“Please, I-I know that I’ve upset you greatly, but –.” Logan snaps his mouth shut as he pivots, narrowly missing a throwing star that careens past him and lands in the wall with a loud thunk.

“I said, don’t you dare get any closer,” Remus repeats, wiping his eyes again. There don’t seem to be any fresh tears, but the anger that burns in his red eyes is all the more concerning, “You’d think someone as smart as you would be able to take a fucking direction.”

“Fine,” Logan says, trying to calm down his own frantic nerves (and doing an abysmal job of it), “I – I won’t get any closer. I can say what I need to from here.”

“And who the hell told you I wanted to hear anything you want to say right now?!” Remus demands, chucking another star Logan’s way and missing yet again as the Logical side misses it. “Son of a Bitch, how’re you so good at dodging?” “I’ve had some experience,” Logan reminds him, “I’m afraid that isn’t going to get you anywhere. You know you cannot hurt me that way.”

“Yeah, yeah, lucky you! It’s so fucking easy for you to do it to other people. Why the hell would I get to do it back?” He asks, voice dripping with bitterness and sorrow. There’s a franticness to Remus, different from his usual manic behavior. He seems genuinely terrified for Logan to get any closer, afraid of exactly what, Logan can’t say with certainty, but the thought burns a hole in his mind nonetheless.

“Remus,” he says, standing still where he several feet away with his arms in the air, showing to the best of his ability that he does not intend to cause harm, at least not any more harm, “I… I cannot express how sorry I am, for the way that I’ve behaved. But please, let me explain myself. Allow me to shed some light on things.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I got your message clear as crystal; you’re disgusted to think that someone like me could have such mushy, gushy, disgusting feelings about someone like you.” Logan shakes his head frantically, feeling the shift in the room as things go from bad to worse.

“N-no! Not at all! T-that isn’t it,” he says, trying to explain but it’s so hard to find the words he’s looking for. How does one explain feelings they’d been so hesitant to accept? How is it that Logic can be so overrun with emotion that he hardly knows how to function anymore?

“I’ll – I’ll smash all your beakers! I’ll set all the books you love on fire! I’ll cut your onesie to ribbons! And, then, then –.”

“Then… what?” Logan dares to ask. Remus lets out an exasperated groan, burying his face in his hands once again.

“I don’t know! I’d be easier – easier if you were scared of me. If I could just get you to-to be afraid, then maybe you’d leave me the fuck alone. But you’re not scared of me,” Remus hiccups, and Logan realizes he’s begun crying again, “I can’t even get that right, huh?”

“I don’t want to be afraid of you,” Logan says, wanting so desperately to reach out and wipe the tears from Remus’s face. Seeing him crying, hugging his knees, he looks far too small. Remus is bold, Remus is larger than life, chaos incarnate and this isn’t right at all. “And I don’t want to hurt you, either. But… I have. And I apologize, profusely.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Remus mutters through his tears, “I almost never know what I’m thinking, but – but this time I really fucking lost it. I just… I needed to say something. It was like a leach, sucking out all my blood a little at a time, e-every time I saw you, every time you told me a stupid fact, or w-we made something explode together in the name of science.

“And it just k-kept taking and taking. I was gonna be like an empty juice box, all my blood slurped right out, s-so I asked you. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad i-if you’d just told me I was repulsive right then and there.”

“I’m not repulsed by you,” Logan says, still lost in the imagery of a bloodless body that Remus has spun, “Not at all.” “Yes, you are!” Remus shouts, the sound echoing through the room. Surely the others can hear it, from wherever they are. “You – you sunk out the second I said anything! You were horrified!”

“I sunk out because I was overwhelmed,” Logan says, “I didn’t know how to process the information and I needed to take a step back and revaluate. You must understand, issues of emotion don’t come easily to me… and… I panicked. I know I should’ve handled things differently; I know I should have given you an answer, but I… got scared,” Logan admits, his voice almost dipping into a whisper.

“I thought you weren’t scared of me?”

“I’m not,” Logan replies, “I’m not scared of you, Remus. But the prospect of someone having such feelings for me was… not something I’d previously considered. Even as we spent more time together, I didn’t ever consider that you might…” Logan trails off, feeling himself begin to tremble.

His body wasn’t made to harbor love, he decides, and it certainly wasn’t meant to be loved by someone else. He’s tried so hard for so long to be taken seriously, to perform his duty to the best of his ability, and yet here he is, swept up in a sea of feelings he’s sure would take a lifetime to decipher.

“This is quite the torturous way of explaining you don’t feel the same,” Remus replies weakly, “I would’ve gone for a more traditional one myself, waterboarding, castration, bone-breaking, something a little simpler.”

“I didn’t say I don’t feel the same.” Remus blinks, his misty eyes flickering with confusion.

“Yeah… yeah, you did?” Remus says though it comes out as more of a question than anything else.

“No,” Logan says, “I didn’t. I said I was overwhelmed. Feelings… they aren’t something that I have much of an understanding over, but as I’ve come to realize… they are something I possess.” 

“You-you don’t…” he doesn’t dare speak it. Logan shakes his head.

“Earlier today, you asked me what my response would be if you told me that you love me,” Logan says, a lightness in his chest overtaking the hopelessness that had previously taken root, “I’m trying – I’m trying to tell you I feel the same. I don’t understand it, I don’t know how to process it at all, but I want to. Because… Remus, I love you too. I-I didn’t know I was allowed to love, and I certainly didn’t think I’d have someone love me but… I do.”

Remus sniffles, hot tears burning their way down his cheeks as he looks at Logan, taking in the distraught, lovestruck mess that he is.

“You’re telling me, t-that you… that you love me. Me?” Logan breaks out into a smile.

“Yes. I love you, an i-incredible amount, Remus. And… I would very much like to kiss you if you’d allow me.”

A sob erupts from Remus as he shoots up from the couch, tacking Logan in an embrace that sends them toppling to the floor. The moment they make contact, Remus is all over Logan, his hands in his hair, on his shoulders, at his sides as he presses desperate kisses to his lips. It is by no means an embrace for the books; Remus is still crying quite a bit, his tears making their kisses taste of salt, and it’s rushed and frantic. But Logan takes all that Remus gives happily, holding onto him like a lifeline.

“I’m sorry,” Logan gasps the moment he has the chance to catch his breath, “I’m sorry, I-I upset you so much.” “Shut up and kiss me, Lo,” Remus demands, before reigning the nerd in for another kiss, and Logan can’t argue with that.

The tension that had hung heavy in the room disperses little by little. Remus’s anger and sorrow dissolves into relief and passion. Logan’s apprehensions melt away, their survival impossible with Remus in his arms, clinging fervently and embracing him as though stopping, even for a moment, would surely end in their tragic deaths.

For years, Logan hadn’t believed he was allowed to feel much of anything. He still firmly believes he wasn’t meant for this softness, and yet, it’s come upon him, and no longer can he dispute that.

He’s become swept up in a sea of feelings that very well might take a lifetime to decipher, and Logan’s decided he doesn’t mind the thought.

Logan loves Remus, and finally, that's one feeling he embraces without hesitation.

=+=

Taglist:

@nadiestar 

@unoriginalgayboyalex 

[reactingwithexo]

Bonnie & Clyde - Baekhyun

Part 2

Summary : “are you still up? how was your day? what do you mean, nothing?you can try to deny it but you know it’s not that simple, I know , I know that even if you pretend I can see through it; oh, this might be our last chance.”

genre: angst AF/some fluff/some light smut

warnings: curses, mentions of sex,violence

word-count: 3.94K

A/N: Ok so this is open for you guys to decide if you want it to have a part 2 or not./This is inspired by Dean’s song (and my most played song in 2017 according to spotify) 

*ATTENTION TO THE DATES*

March 21st, 2018

You desperately ran trying to look for a sign of the whereabouts of the guy you loved. Maybe you would hear his laugh from a far, or hear him sing some cheeky ballad while he walked around all these unfamiliar faces.

As you stopped running due to the lack of breath all you could think about as your eyes hesitantly searched for him were the multiple times he taught you how to relax, how to breathe when things seemed too hard and now you were on your own trying to find that same type of comfort only his voice and embrace could bring you.

Suddenly, everything stops.

People start screaming , moving , picking up their children and running as fast as possible and the unfamiliar faces seemed the same for a second or two.

A gunshot, that was the noise that caused all that terror.

But you just couldn’t find the strength to run more, because you knew, when you stood there in shock, that Baekhyun had a gun and that he would probably use it today.

“This might be the wrong choice and I might regret this but it will be alright.”

That was the last phrase Baekhyun told you before he headed out and made sure you didn’t follow him.

As you tried to follow the place where you heard the shooting came from, more memories came back and the truth that would unveil just became scarier as you approached a place you knew fairly well from your past.

The little cottage you grew up in could be seen from a far. While the people on the train station were still running and trying to figure out where the gun noise came from , you knew exactly the direction you should take.

As you approached that view you’d seen sometimes in your worse nightmares -the ones that he would soothe you to sleep after you jump out of bed in a gasping state -  your heartbeat would follow its pace.

You ran.

You needed to see him , you still had hopes that he was okay , that you were wrong or imagining things. 

Your feet climbed up the old stairs in silence and you couldn’t hear anything from inside the house, you checked behind you to see if no one suspected the shot came from here.

You felt as if your legs would fail you as you opened the main door, the cracking noise of it giving you chills.

At first sight, you could only see the stairs to the second floor and still no noise heard.

You debated whether you should scream for Baekhyun’s name or try to be as silent as possible.

Baekhyun would think screaming is a stupid move if there’s someone dangerous here, and he’d probably be right, so you chose not to make a noise.

You decided to go to the living room, thinking perhaps you’d find something if you searched the house.

You found him.

Your body reacted first to the scene in front of you, your vision was suddenly blurry, your throat was dry, and your legs were shaking, an inaudible gasp coming out of you.

February 21st, 2018

The living room phone rang once, twice and by the third time it managed to wake you up from your nap on the couch.

You grabbed the phone and took it to your ear, not bothering to say anything as you part of you were still stuck on dreamland.

“Y/n… I didn’t think you’d still be up”

“Oh well, I wasn’t, but someone just insisted on calling me for some reason”

“Was that me?” he lets out a chuckle, “I’m sorry y/n”

“mhm whatever, what do you want Baekhyun?”

“How was your day?”

“hm?”

“I asked how your day was.”

“Did you really just call me at –you checked your clock- 3AM to ask me that?” you let out a sigh and continued “If I ever see you again, I will-“

“You will what, y/n?” he spoke with a tone full of amusement.

“Nothing, Baekhyun”

“What do you mean, nothing?”

“Exactly the meaning of the word, I recommend searching for it if you don’t know what it means.”

“Could you do that for me?”

“What?”

“Exactly what I said”

“You have got to be kidding me Byun Baekhyun”

“I’m actually not Y/n”

“One second”

You thought of hanging up but you were curious as to where he wanted to go with this conversation, you weren’t even sure as to what he meant to you, if he did mean something at all or, like the meaning of the word he asked.

“Nothing, definition:

1. Not any thing: no thing

2. No part

3. One of no interest, value, or consequence”

“Thanks Y/n”

“You’re very welcome, now that you learned your new word for the day, can I hang up or?”

“Don’t you think we should talk?”

“About?”

“Come on Y/n, cut the bullshit with me”

“What do you want me to say? I told you, act like it never happened”

“You can try to deny it… but you know it’s not that simple”

“It is actually; do I have to remind you of what I told you that night?”

“I already know, but there is something you don’t”

“And what’s that?”

“I know that even if you pretend, I can see right through it, in ways you least expect it, and I guess from the person you least expected it as well”

You seemed not to find words to answer him, so you decided to give him what you thought he wanted it.

After a few seconds of silence you said “Meet me up here on Friday, and then you can see personally right through my lack of patience with you”

“See you”

And finally silence reigned on your head and the only sound heard was the one coming out of your TV.

February 23rd, 2018

Of course he’d be right on time for this, even if he neglected pretty much everything else in his life.

You muttered a curse under your breath as you hoped he’d have forgotten and got up to open the door.

As you did, you saw Baekhyun leaning his body onto the side of the wall, holding a couple bottles of whichever cheap booze he got and looking at you through his eyelashes.

He smirked and said “long time no see”

“Yeah, sure, just get in already”

He took a few steps ahead and stopped in front of you.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”

He shook his head and mumbled “I missed you… babygirl”

“I-“, you tried not blush or demonstrate any sign of nervousness so you just slapped his arm. ”Shut the fuck up and get in before I never talk to you again”

He laughed but got in, directly jumping on your couch and opening a bottle of beer.

“Did you come here just to have someone to drink with? Are you that desperate?” You asked as you sat beside him.

“Ah no, this is just part of the fun y/n, so tell me what’s up? Are you feeling better?”

“What do you mean? Was I not feeling good before?”

“Well, not when we met last week”

“I was just trying to have some fun that got out of control ok? Get over it, I did”

“Yeah, tell yourself that...”

You looked up in annoyance and said “I really don’t know what you’re searching for with me”

“Aren’t we something at this point? Like-“

“What? Friends”

He shrugged “Yeah, I guess”

He leaned in and locked his gaze on yours, tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear and giving one small kiss on your neck, which turned into two, three, four kisses, when he mumbled between more of those “we’re just friends, alright”

“Baekhyun…we’ve been through this”

“Can you shut up now? You want this just as much as I do or you wouldn’t have let me in”

He stopped his actions and looked at you, adding, “One night”

Finally his lips touched yours and you gave in to how easy it was to forget all you’ve been through and rely on this moment. Memories of the night you met kept floating back in, how you lost all your morals and ideals that day and got into trouble but nothing felt more satisfying than fucking the feeling out with Baekhyun.

As the kisses grew heated, you felt his hands everywhere. You were between his body and the couch, your hands in his hair as he explored underneath your shirt.

His touches were light and maybe that’s what made you feel so good, the way he wouldn’t give you what you really needed but he still knew what you liked, he got his attention back to your neck and you couldn’t control the gasps that would leave you as he left open mouthed kisses on your neck and collarbones.

Your legs brought him even closer to you and in a moment of conscious you whispered “one night, Baekhyun”

March 2nd, 2018

It wasn’t just one night.

It became a thing, he’d come over, you’d have pizza, you’d get popcorn, you’d watch a movie, you’d straddle him and he’d get you moaning.

It was easier than you thought it would be… fun actually, you got to the point where you’d smile at him; you were even wearing his shirt throughout the house.

Guess you really were friends by now and that was…reassuring somehow, you didn’t really have anyone in your life so this was different.

Baekhyun was sleeping next to you as your mind was busy when there was a loud bang at the door.

You skipped out of bed as you hear your brother’s voice scream from outside, Baekhyun slowly woke up from his state and looked at you holding a confused gaze; you hesitated while deciding what should be done.

Baekhyun had to leave, that was right.

“What the hell is going on?” Baekhyun asked while getting up and watching you pace back and forth.

“Baek, I’m sorry but you have to leave, right now”

“I-what? Who’s this guy banging on your door and-?”

“We don’t have time for that, look, you could get out by this window and get the stairs”

“Y/n, I’m not letting you alone with this mad” he said as he gently held your hand.

You could hear your brother’s anger heightening and you got even more anxious about Baekhyun staying there with you.

“Look at me, I’ll tell you everything afterwards, don’t worry okay? I’ll be fine, I promise, I just have to talk to him and you can’t be here”

“Who is this guy?”

“It’s family…I swear, I’ll tell you, just go”

He hesitated one more time and before he went he gave you a surprise peck and said “You can count on me, okay? Till we die”

You nodded and he finally went away.

You decided to ignore how it felt to have Baekhyun tell you this, such simple words that made a big difference in your world.

You let out a sigh before you open the door to meet a very furious brother.

“Are you that useless? Where the fuck is my money?”

March 9th, 2018

It has passed one week and you still didn’t have the money, hell, you didn’t even leave home scared of what could happen to you, what was the next threat by your brother when you crossed the street?

For the first time, you didn’t have anyone to help you, he made sure of that. But thankfully he didn’t know about Baekhyun, you weren’t even sure you should be doing what you were about to but you were scared of feeling so scared and his words of reassurance last week kept going through your head.

So there you were, knocking on Baekhyun’s door, hoping no one had followed you and that he would be home.

After a minute, he opened the door, his hair was all over the place and he was only wearing some shorts, for a second you heart warmed seeing him like this, but then you remembered the real reason you were there…and the look of disappointment on his face.

As usual, he was the one to break the silence. “Y/n…you’re okay…good to know”

“Baek, I’m so sorry for not answering your calls…or texts, or not letting you come in when you came over that day”

He shook his head lightly and opened some room for you to come in.

As you stepped inside his apartment, you realize this was your first time here and you inspected the place, everything screamed Baekhyun, from the game equipment to the drinks and clothes placed on random spots of the apartment.

Even if that got a smile on your face, when you turned around to talk to him, his heavy gaze upon you made your smile disappear.

“I thought something really serious had happened to you, Y/n…you said you’d tell me everything but you disappeared I-“he ran his hand through his hair and lets out a sigh.

“I know, and I really am sorry”

“Was that guy really your brother or are you secretly married or something?”

“Huh? What? No, of course I’m not married Baek, he really is my brother. We have a complicated history, he’s basically the only family I have left but he’s in big trouble, financial wise…and I help him from time to time with it”

“Oh well, that was definitely not a way to treat someone who’s helping”, he said

“Well, yes, he’s….”

“What is it that you’re not telling me Y/n?”

“I didn’t really want to help him, at all, for years now but”

“But…?”

“But he hurts the people that I love when I don’t”

“Y/n, how? I’m not sure I’m following”

“Well he got involved with some drug dealers when he found out where our dad would go every morning before he left us and he’s running their business now but he got all these debts and he thinks I have to help” -you felt tears forming-“he has people everywhere, he always knows where I am and I’m so tired of all of this”

By this point, Baekhyun had hugged you and was trying to reassure you that you were safe on his arms.

“Can’t you do something about it?”-He asked softly-“have you tried the police?”

“Baekhyun…he murdered my mom” you finally let that get out of your chest and sobbed for what felt like hours, nonetheless you haven’t felt that safe in a really long time.

“I’ve got you Y/n, it’s okay”, he whispered softly as you two took a sit.

You ended up taking a nap and you woke up a couple hours later in alert, Baekhyun looked at you in concern “hey hey, it’s alright”

“Sorry, ah, I just- did anyone came over looking for me?”

“No, don’t worry Y/n, you’re safe”

“For now…” you mumbled and he looked at you.

“You know, I was thinking about something that could help both of us”

“And what would be that?”

“Why don’t we just leave?”

“Leave? Where to?”

“To where no one will recognize you”

You let out a chuckle “Baek, that’s crazy”

“Why? It’s the most logical thing to do, I don’t know why you haven’t thought about it, we take my car and step on the gas so our worries can’t follow”

“I won’t ask you to do that with me”

“Don’t. I want to, there’s nothing I like in this city anyways and I’ve got nothing to lose, you on the other hand, I don’t wanna loose.”

You thought hard about it and it still seemed crazy, as if Baekhyun could see what was going through your mind, he said “Come on, who cares? This might be our last chance, if you go back home tonight, they’ll eventually find you and then what?”

“Maybe I can go on my own? I can’t ask you to give up your life for-“

“Life? Y/n, what life?  You know damn well how I feel about this place and about this society, I even thought about going away by myself previously but then I met you and you made me stay”

“Are you sure about this?”

He leaned in to make sure your eyes were at one another “Yes, I promise we’ll go as fast as possible”

You smiled at each other and you knew you wouldn’t be able to say no, all your conscious about putting Baekhyun in danger was put behind you and you decided to take this chance when you realized what he made you feel.

March  11th, 2018 

“Ah, finally!” You smiled as Baekhyun got into the car.

“Nah nope, road fee first” He says while holding the package far from you so you couldn’t reach it.

“God, you’re so stupid, why did I agree to this?”

He shrugged and said “I don’t know…what I do know is that I’ll just take this hamburger and eat myself then”, he placed the package on his lap and you whined “what? No! That’s not fair”

You just gave in to him and gave him a peck.

He looked at you unamused and asked “That’s it? That’s not even half of the road fee”

You rolled your eyes at his remark but decided to give him a longer kiss instead, you felt him smile into the kiss and place his hand on the back of your neck, his fingers in between your hair when the kiss became more than it should for a public place and you interrupted it.

“Alright, here it is”, Baekhyun said while handling you your food, he started driving and asked you; “what do you wanna hear today?”

“Hm, I’m not sure, I’m always the one who picks, can’t you pick an artist today?”

He smiled widely and said “Yes! Finally a chance for me to show you real music”

“Excuse me? Britney Spears has a Grammy as well for your information”

“Yeah, they handle that to anyone these days so I don’t buy it”

“Oh alright grandpa”

“Here, let’s try The Rolling Stones, have you heard of them?” he said as he pressed to turn on the CD player.

You slapped his arm and exclaimed “Of course I’ve heard of them”

“I’m not talking about the magazine, baby”

“I’m going to kick your ass out of this car in a few seconds if-“

“Ok ok, I’m just kidding, let the song play on”

“This type of song makes me upset”, you told him;

“What, why?”

“It’s just too real, it hits home I guess I don’t know…that’s why I mostly hear generic songs, they’re easier, just fun”

“Hey, I understand what you mean and it is okay but don’t you think that sometimes hearing these songs that hit closer to your feelings a good thing? It’s not like any song will drown the cries of your heart, so you might as well just appreciate diverse styles of music”

March 20th, 2018

You peeked to check if he was asleep or not , even though he had his eyes closed , you had the impression that he wasn’t fully asleep yet so you asked for his name. “Yes, y/n” “Can we talk?” He turned around to your side of the bed and after holding his gaze on you for a few seconds, he smiled and took one of your hands to play with your fingers. “Okay , what do you wanna talk about?” “I don’t wanna be one of those people but is there anything you’re not telling me? Not that you have to tell me everything , it’s your life obviously but if you need to go back , or anything, it’s totally fine I-“ “Y/n”- he let out a chuckle- “I don’t want to go back at all , don’t worry, I’ve just been thinking about some things” “Oh” “Disappointed ?” “No, don’t play the victim” He smiled and said “I want you to know something” “Alright, what is it?” Baekhyun let out a sigh before continuing “Baby..” “Oh no, when you use that tone, something is coming” He laughed at your remark and said “don’t be silly, I’m trying to be serious” “That’s news right there” “Shh, what I meant to say is that I want you to know how much I love you” Your heart started beating fast and you just looked at him , not knowing if he meant this or “Baek, stop joking, it’s not as funny as you think” “Y/n, I’m not joking , honestly this is weird for me too but since you’ve entered my life , I feel different , look , don’t expect me to make a huge romantic love declaration right now but all I want you to know is that I will hold you even if the world turns its back on you..you, you can lean on me, even if I know we can’t be more than friends, you don’t have to say anything , but I want you to remember me like this” “You talk as if we won’t see each other again” He shrugged and said “I don’t want things to be awkward between us so I’m sorry if this is random” “No no, it’s okay” You didn’t know how to feel about his statements but your body felt like there were fireworks everywhere. So instead of talking nonsense , as you knew you would end up doing in the lack of words to explain what you felt , you got closer to him and kissed his lips.

March 23rd, 2018

You woke up attached to a hospital bed, you didn’t recognize that hospital room or there was no one recognizable anywhere in sight.

“Look who’s up, finally”

Your eyes widen at the sight in front of you, your brother who you spent so much time fearing was right there, you knew it, he killed Baekhyun.

“Where the hell is Baekhyun?” “You don’t have to worry about him, and no, he’s not dead, what you saw was just part of the show”

“What do you mean?”

“Your friend was actually well, not”

“Can you stop making stuff up?”

“I’m not; you really think some random guy would get that close to a fucked up person like you? Nah, he had to have a higher motive for that”

“Don’t. He wasn’t lying to me.”

Your brother let out a laugh and said “You somehow continue naïve after all this time, yes he was little sister, and I just needed someone to keep an eye on you”

You felt something inside you scatter and tears form on your face.

“You’re lying”

“Sorry but I’m not, I mean if you want to, I can ask him to come here,you know what? that would be even better to watch, wait up ”, he opened the door and shouted something for someone near.

As you wondered how you’d get out of that place, Baekhyun got inside the room followed by a pat on the back given by your brother, who looked between your face and Baekhyun’s with a smirk and said “I’ll give you two sometime alone”, he turned to Baekhyun and said “just make sure you don’t fuck her right now, the doctor said she’s still weak”

You felt sick at his quote and Baekhyun just looked at you, no emotions apparent as your brother exited the room.

Baekhyun got closer to your bed and asked “how are you feeling?”

“Is it true? What my brother said?”

Baekhyun looked down ,then finally into your eyes and answered.

“Yes”

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it, make sure to tell me your thoughts about it as it took some time for me to write this. Happy new year babies! This is just the beginning of all things I have prepared for us this year, I can’t wait! All blessings for you guys!