#my other gifsets of them have been getting notes again lately which reminded me of this

[theladyeowyn]

Good job, Commander.

[morifinwes]

hello! (it's anon alex) i can't believe you thought of me :3... (about my last ask) i totally get what you mean about Geborgenheit. i don't know if i have a favorite german word in terms of meaning but there are a few that i like because of onomatopoeia like Raspelschokolade. i must say it's sort of hilarious to me that our views on the sects are basically the same. i really like the jiang sect because lotus pier is really pretty and i like the vibe but with the people there... i can't. (1/3)

so i would choose the lan sect. actually because the show kinda starts with gusu (with the lecture) cloud recesses always kinda feels like home to me. it's also really nice aesthetically. AND obviously the people there are much better. i actually don't know much about the german cql fandom. are there any blogs that are a must follow in your opinion? i've also been thinking about revealing myself lately (no more anon alex, just regular old alex). (2/3)

first of all, hey!! I'm going to answer the recs in a separate post so this doesn't get too long!

re words: i definitely get where you're coming from!! i honestly don't think much about Raspelschokolade but.... now that you've said it, you're def right 🤔

oh god, gusu definitely feels like home!! it's like... the first sect we really kind of... idk know? meet? yeah we see jc & jl at the beginning but the lan juniors are the first wwx meets, then lwj comes and we see them again and again and then we come to gusu with wei wuxian! i think we're more in cloud recesses than we're at any other sect? lotus pier only ever appears briefly, from what we see it's beautiful and free yeah, just.... the people really kind of suck. cloud recesses tho? like yeah the lan elders kind of suck but also we know a lot more people here, lsizhui & jingyi or lan wangji, lan xichen and lan qiren! in a way, seeing cloud recesses does feel a lot like the story itself is coming home, too? if we go chronologically then the story starts and ends in gusu, in cql: caiyi town and a mountain range that is most likely in gusu, in the novel: cloud recesses study arc & wwx living in gusu with lwj.

mhm so the first german cql/mdzs blogs in my mind are: (sophie) @inessencedevided , (eva) @xiaodaozhang and (ali) @gaoshide! also @ghost-generals who was the first person aside from @feanor that i knew in the fandom! rosie was literally the person i yelled at while watching and the reason i figured out that jgy is gonna be evil (she was like "yeah don't forget that guy" and... i figured out he was evil 😞). sophie, eva & ali all make very cool gifsets!! wait i'm gonna search for my favs from them: sophie [x] [x], eva [x] [x], ali [x] [x] [x] & one that ali made for me 🥺👉👈 [x] (ily for this ali 🥺💞)

all of these people are very kind and very talented!! which reminds me: do you know of fresh qiren? because you definitely should!!! (go to the notes to see more content aksks)

honestly discovering the german side of the fandom shocked me a bit? i definitely wasn't ready for that but it's nice to know that some people were able to understood the fresh qiren reference!! (i love all of my german mutuals 🥺 sometimes i wanna pet their heads)

[gyllenhaalstories]

TOMORROW NEVER CAME (time to dance part 2)

SUMMARY: you met with this stranger at the bar a little while ago. things went intense, intensely fast. it was an encounter you would never forget and his final words before walking away, leaving you standing in this cold winter wind have yet to stop resonating in your mind. as you start to believe you will never cross paths with this myserious man and his killer, icy blue eyes, life has other plans.

WARNINGS: mentions of smoking, knives, alcohol, violence, a bunch of dark stuff, smut (d/s dynamic, spanking, rough intercourse)

WORD COUNT: 1 742

NOTES: reminder when i watched CAMERAS FOLLOWING JAKE AROUND DURING A NORMAL DAY and i also stumbled upon THIS AMAZING GIFSET ? i’m back, with a sequel no one asked for! i didn’t proof read it yet but i’ll read it later and correct some mistakes. thank you for reading i hope you’ll enjoy it! 

 You came home from work late, that day. You hated closing the place and working at the last shifts. You were not the easiest person to scare out there, but there was something about winter nights that terrified you. Bulgars could storm in at any moment. Roads could get icy and a car could drive straight into the front window and run you over. You could break a leg trying to climb up the dangerous and squeaky stairs to your apartment. You had an endless list of worst-case scenarios, still... You were so ignorant. 

The only thing you had to be afraid of, was that stranger from the bar. You had a gut feeling about him. He was up to no good. A man like that could not simply disappear from your life as abruptly as he entered it. 

Truth be told, Jake had come back to that very bar every evening. He sat at the exact same table as he did when he met you. He had one eye on the door, hoping to see your heady silhouette. His other eye checked the bathroom, in fear that you would walk out of there with someone else. He waited patiently, hope devouring his soul. He told himself you would be there tomorrow. 

Tomorrow never came. 

He walked out of the bar on a gloomy night and he looked around, waiting for a car to pass by so he could cross the street and go back to his business. He had spotted that annoying duo of friends, who ordered so many rounds of shots it was a miracle they were still standing up. They terrorized the lonely girls at the bar and he was not having any of it. His hands were buried in his pocket, tightly wrapped around the handles of two small knives. All he had to do was to get a little closer... 

Jake looked to his left and his eyes, empty and cold, widened. 

You had your earmuffs around your head and you stared at the ground, trying to avoid any ice spots and an inevitable bone fracture. Your nose and cheeks turned pink from the cool breeze and you bopped your head to the music blasting through your covered earbuds. You did not hear the honks and the loud shoutings, not even your feet breaking the thin layer of ice as you walked up the stairs to your apartment, just the sound of your favorite music. 

The entire time, he watched you. He dragged himself around, following your path from a safe distance. His heart was beating loud, so loud it was deafening. He slid the hoodie of his jacket on his head and followed you. He recognized your neighborhood, he had been around this part of town before. Memories of that night when you smashed the skull of a random guy on the concrete made him grin. 

You took your coat and your accessories off, kicking your shoes on the small mat by the door and made your way to the fridge to drink orange juice straight from the carton. It was only then you stopped your music and decided to head to your bedroom. You did not even know what time it was, and the only thing that mattered was meeting with your beloved bed. You took other pieces of clothing off and decided you’d sleep in your tank top and panties. Your hand grabbed the bedsheets and swung them away, making room for yourself. It was only then you looked up at the walls and noticed a shadow. 

It was long, slim, dark. Heavy breathing echoed from behind you as you slowly, very slowly, turned around. Your jaw dropped open, ready to scream for help, but instead, you went silent. You recognized these features, this body, these arms and these hands that moved you around like a rag doll in that bathroom stall. “What the fu—” you exclaimed, but he spoke before you.

“I won’t hurt you.” 

And you believed him, which made of you the biggest dumbass on the planet. A stranger whom you only met once snuck into your house, your bedroom, and you were trusting him with your life. Quite literally. Oh, the things one person could do for a good fuck... 

“I’ve been waiting for this moment all this time.” 

You studied him. He had removed his jacket, but his hands were still hidden in the pockets of his jeans. You could swear his glance softened when your eyes met his, his shoulders almost relaxing. There was something about this mysterious man that made you feel safe, and you hated yourself for it. “Get out of here.” You told him, your voice practically shaking. 

“I have one of these too.” His chin pointed at the yellow plastic bird on your last stand. 

It was some stupid toy a child gave you when he went to your work place, to thank you for bringing him paper and crayons to draw with when his family and him waited for their food. You looked at the toy, then at the man, in back and forth movements. He was smiling. Smiling.

“You wore that with me the other night, right?” His index finger pointed at your crotch area, but his eyes were locked with yours as you nodded. “I like the color. Red.” His smile grew wider, and he stepped a bit closer to you. 

It was unbearable. “Are we going to spend the whole night talking or what?” 

Like a bird of prey, he dove towards you, his lips meeting yours in a violent kiss. He tasted of whiskey and cigarette, two flavors you never thought you would appreciate. You two battled for dominance, and when you teased him as you sucked on his tongue, you felt your entire body being pushed backwards. You hit the cold bed as he hovered you with his broad shoulders. He kissed you again, roughly, and trailed kisses down to your neck on which he sucked, and sucked, and sucked. Satisfied with the color of the bruise, he grabbed parts of your tank top and ripped it open. Another grin appeared on his face as he busied himself with your breasts and nipples.

Your back arched against him, when you felt his teeth grazing on your sensitive buds. It felt as intense as it did the other night, and you were barely getting started. In a blink of an eye, his head was between your legs and his tongue licked your soaking wet panties. Again, he ripped them off your body and threw them on the ground as he helped you wrap your legs around his head. 

You stretched your arms out to grab his hands as he stared at you through hooded eyes. He was nose deep between your wet folds. The moans you made had him painfully hard, but he did not care about it that much. Again, he used his teeth to bite on your clit before he fucked his tongue into your entrance. He dragged his mouth up to your clit then back to your heat again and again until he felt your legs tighten around him. He pushed them towards you as he took you over the edge for the first time. 

You kept your eyes shut as waves of convulsions took over your body. 

He took the opportunity to remove his clothes, showing up his fit body and his hard, thick cock that he stroked slowly. “Ready?” 

The two of you already knew what was coming. And you nodded frantically. “Please, please just fuck me.” 

“Are you always such a good slut?” His laugh echoed in your bedroom as he slowly pushed himself inside of you. You felt tight, warm and wet and it dragged the longest groan out of him. 

He pressed on your legs, holding them down and wide open for you to watch just how deep he was fucking you. The skin of your ass slapped with his thighs as he thrusted faster and faster. You did not care that your bed was hitting the wall and that all you could do was scream incoherent pleas and thank you’s. 

The man grabbed your breasts firmly and gave them a few blows of spankings. It made you scream louder, and he was loving it. Without telling you, he pulled out and flipped you over so you were on all fours. His sweaty chest was pressed flat against your back and his mouth rested by your ear. 

You heard all of his moans and his praises about how good your pussy felt around his throbbing cock. He never slowed down the pace, leaving you thinking he was not even human at all. 

“Is that pussy mine?” He spanked your ass once, harder than he ever did. “Huh? Answer me? Whose pussy is this?” 

“It’s yours, fuck! It’s all yours!” You stuttered, earning more spankings. “You fuck me so good! Don’t stop!” 

And he certainly did not. Both of his hands used your ass to hold himself up. You were completely pressed into your bed as he fucked you, even deeper. His balls slapped on your sensitive clit and right when he noticed you started to clench around him, he went to grab your throat with one hand, using the other one to spank your red ass cheek. 

“You gonna give it to me? You gonna prove me you’re my fucking slut?”

And you did. You came so hard around him that no sound escaped from your open mouth. Only seconds after, you felt him emptying himself inside of you. He came in long strokes and stayed still inside of you for a while, admiring how exhausted you were from being slayed this hard. 

*~*~*

Jake panted, when you laid your head on his naked chest. He was pulling the blankets up to cover your bodies. The warm feeling of your legs as you wrapped them around his and of your arm around his waist sent electric shocks through his body.

You pressed a tender kiss on his collarbone and closed your eyes, only for a second. 

“It was so fun.” He said, his voice suddenly became monotonous and low, raspy even. 

You looked up at him, a frown on your forehead. You tensed up against him.

“It’s time for you to burn.” 

“What?”

“You’re gonna be sore, it’s gonna burn.” He genuinely sounded concerned. 

“Will you meet me up here tomorrow?” 

[softjeon]

The perfect Illusion | Pt. 2

• Pairing: Geisha!Jimin x Namjoon | Side-Pairing: Geisha!Jungkook x Yoongi • Genre: Fluff / Angst  | Geisha!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 9,8k | ↳ AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of abusive behavior

*** please note that this story doesn’t mean to represent accurate geisha tradition, it was solely inspired by the beautiful art form, giving it a modern twist in a fictional universe and therefore has been dramatized for entertainment purposes.

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳  He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that.

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Yoongi’s eyes were following Namjoon’s movements for more than ten minutes now. He was walking towards his desk, sitting down for a couple of seconds only to get up again and walk over to their flipchart to stare at it intensely. He had long put his pen down, leaning back to observe whatever Namjoon was doing. There was nothing the other would need to be nervous about, no meetings to prepare but their usual everyday business. 

Yoongi hummed, raking a hand through his hair while his eyes followed Namjoon once more as he walked to the little fridge and got out some water to gulp it down hastily. “You’re behaving strangely,” Yoongi finally spoke up, “Did you take drugs or something? Is this some after effects? Or is this your new workout routine?”  He pointed with his finger back and forth between his desk and the flip chart.

Namjoon almost choked on his water. Normally Yoongi could be silent for hours when he was immersed in his work and he hadn’t expected the other to observe him let alone notice what he was doing. “Ah, no, I’m… I’m just…” He knew that he was just making it worse with how flustered he was so he sighed and decided to come clean. “To be honest I am thinking about the tea house again. Or rather the dancer, Jimin. I was wondering if there was any business thing that I could use as an excuse to go there and then I wasn’t sure if that was such a good idea because if I can’t concentrate now I definitely won’t be able to concentrate then when he’s right in front of me so I thought I should schedule something alone with him but then I wasn’t sure if an appointment alone with a geisha is even possible as they are supposed to entertain groups and I was scared that they might tell me off or think that I want to book Jimin like some kind of… homeboy so I thought if you maybe wanted to come along but it is a lot of money and I know you’re busy with your designs right now.” Yoongi had been quietly watching him while he was talking and walking which only made him more nervous so he plopped down and sheepishly smiled at him. “Yeah so that’s what I was debating while walking up and down.”

“My goodness!” The smile on Yoongi’s lips grew steadily. “You really actually have a thing for that dancer, don’t you?” He shook his head, “Out of all people I would have never thought that you would be one of the unfortunate and romantically inclined people to fall in love with a geisha!” 

Namjoon quickly interrupted him, “I’m not in love, Yoongi, I barely know him! I’m just.. interested. Intrigued. Curious.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Add ‘horny’ to the list. As far as I know you haven’t had action in months. Maybe it might help to get rid of the excess hormones in your bloodstream. If you got laid and still want to sappily gaze at that dancer with your heart eyes then I’ll agree to help you meet him again. Do we have a deal?”

Namjoon just simply ignored the „deal” and looked at Yoongi thoroughly. “Says the one who hasn’t had gotten action as well,” He reminded his friend about his boyfriend-less years, “I just want to talk to him again. Nothing more. Don’t you want to see that maiko again?” He winked at his friend playfully, knowing very well that he had Yoongi wrapped around his finger already.

It was the perfect agreement. For Yoongi, as well as for Namjoon. Neither really sure on how to do this, but both focused on seeing the dancer and his maiko again. They were let in easily, leaded to one of the more open tea rooms - not a private one this time. They had asked, but there was no big show tonight, but from where they sat now they could see a boy dancing to the sound of a shamisen. His movements were beautifully flowing, but still he had nothing on Jimin - at least in Namjoon’s eyes. “Do you think he will be here tonight?” Yoongi asked, his eyes searching the room and once more both men were thinking about two different boys. 

“We’ll see.” Now that they weren’t in the privacy of their own office Namjoon tried to tone down the excitement a little. It flared up all on its own again when he saw Jimin at the door together with Jungkook. They were talking to each other and after a quick little bow it was only the Maiko who entered. Namjoon couldn’t help the disappointment that rushed through him at that. Yoongi on the other hand perked up as if Jungkook had been the one he had been waiting for. 

Jungkook’s eyes widened immediately, not being able to hide the surprise and excitement he felt when he saw the two young businessmen again. He bowed deeply, not trying to hide the smile. “You’re back,” Jungkook said and his eyes glistened with joy, as he reached for the tea can to start preparing, “I hope you enjoyed your last stay. Unfortunately, there won’t be no show tonight, but there will be some dancing later.” He bit his lip quickly, pouring in the hot beverage realizing way too late how chatty he had become just because he got a little excited. 

It brought a smile to Yoongi’s face how happy the younger had looked when he had seen them and he reached out with his tea cup. He almost told him that he was looking forward to get tea spilled on him again as long as it was by him but he had a feeling it would destroy the younger’s confidence too much so he kept his mouth shut and just observed the Maiko while he was pouring in their tea. 

“I’m sorry I’m talking too much,” Jungkook apologized quickly as he finished pouring himself a cup. “Are we celebrating something again?” He asked, blinking back and forth between Namjoon and Yoongi. It wasn’t often that Jungkook really enjoyed a visitors stay. He had discussed this with Jimin a couple of times and how there were different kind of visitors. There were the ones who came for the show, the artistry and enjoyed the cultural aspect of it all and then there were the ones who were just looking for the attention of a young geisha or maiko. Jungkook by far liked the first ones better.

“I don’t think you could ever talk too much with us. I like your voice. So when you feel like it please talk as you’ll know now that it makes me happy. And making a customer happy is what you’re working for, right?” He gave him an encouraging smile and then leaned over a little so he could tone down his voice. “This time we’re solely here for pleasure. Namjoon here didn’t really like tea houses before. But somehow your geisha made him change his mind pretty quickly. Do you think he’ll have a chance to see him tonight? Is Jimin the one dancing?”

Yoongi was so close that his warm breath against his neck send a shiver down his spine and his eyes flickered to Namjoon. A blush appeared on his cheeks. “P-pleasure?” He asked a little unsure what Yoongi was referring to, “Oh, Jimin? No. He won’t be here tonight.” Shaking his head, Jungkook pointed somewhere behind him. “He is taking a lot of private appointments. He is barely in the main room like everyone else is on normal days.” Smiling at Namjoon reassuringly, Jungkook leaned a bit over the table, “Jimin is a really great teacher and dancer. He has a habit of changing people’s mind. You’re probably not the first one.” Jungkook giggled softly, before taking a sip from his tea, “If you want to see him again, you have to book him privately.” There was a weird feeling tingling in the pit of his stomach. Excitement blooming at the thought of Namjoon wanting to see solely Jimin again. Looking back at Yoongi, Jungkook wondered if the other was back for him as well – just like he had promised the last time?

Namjoon swallowed harshly at that. Not the only one. Jimin probably turned a lot of heads and had countless men and women happily booking him. Of course he had heard Yoongi spilling the tea on him and he was ready to pinch him for it when Jungkook willingly gave out information. The shy boy had warmed up to them - or Yoongi - quickly or so it seemed and he suddenly wondered if the interest Yoongi had in that boy really was one sided. Sadly he didn’t have that luck. He sighed. “I’m not sure if I like that thought. You must feel like personal servants if you’re booked privately like that  right?”

Jungkook shook his head immediately, “I don’t think we are servants, Sir. We are here to entertain you, to destress you, to take your hand and take you onto a journey. To make you forget about everything else existing outside of this tea house for a couple of hours. We don’t just serve tea. And if you’re really worried, Jimin likes private sessions way more than the main room. He loves to perform, no matter where or for whom but it’s especially fun if you do it for someone who appreciates the art form. I heard you really liked his dancing.” A soft smile played on his lips.

Jungkook had said exactly what he needed to hear and he looked so genuine about it, so happy to share his passion that Namjoon could feel his worries melt away just like that. “Thank you for your insight. I’ll book Jimin for a private session soon then. And as we’re already sharing secrets and Yoongi had no problem with sharing mine before I can tell you that Jimin isn’t the only one making customers happy with his presence.” Yoongi’s narrowed eyes were worth the smile he brought to the maikos face.

The smile couldn’t be wiped off his face the whole evening and when Taehyung reprimanded him to keep his posture, Jungkook still smiled and even the cleaning of the tea rooms didn’t seem as much of work that night.

“Are you good to go?” Jimin yawned, leaning against the door frame as he watched Jungkook fluff up the cushions one last time, placing them back neatly. The geisha was already fully dressed in his casual clothes and now that the heavy make up was gone, Jungkook could see the exhaustion in Jimin’s face. The young maiko quickly caught up to his geisha, following Jimin outside and through the garden towards the main house.  

“Minnie!” He caught up to the other who wasn’t exactly fast but determined to go to bed as quickly as he could. “Wait, I have to tell you something! The business man from before, he was here again with his friend. You know the one you mentioned meeting at the market? And he was specifically asking for you so… I told him that he could book you privately and he said that he would. Minnie, he’ll book you and you can play all your charms and maybe he’ll fall for you and then he can become your sponsor and you… can get your own tea house or marry him and…” 

Jimin stopped immediately and his heart picked up its pace when Jungkook kept on talking, making him feel only more confused and… He reached out for the young maiko and held onto his arm to stop him. “Jungkook,” His voice had gotten softer and his smile turned from surprised to faint quickly. “You are right, I will play all my charms and he will fall for me. For the illusion, for the perfect picture and dream I portray for him. That’s what we do, Jungkook. That’s what a geisha is for. Nothing more.” He soothed over Jungkook’s arm and turned to walk ahead, opening the door to their small shared room. “It is a sweet dream that you have there, please hold onto it. For yourself, but not for me. My debt is way too high and you know that.” Jimin held his breath for a moment, biting his lip as the image of Namjoon’s smile crossed his mind and he wondered how he had been holding onto that imagery for so long. He would be lying if he didn’t say that he wasn’t excited to hear that he had been in the tea house again, asking for him…but Jimin knew better. He always knew better. 

Hoseok would never let him go.

Jungkook’s eyes turned sad. He couldn’t take it when Jimin talked like this so… so hopeless. And the worst was that he was right. Jimin had been in the tea house since he had been very, very young so his debt for the food and clothes and care that he got for about two decades had been piling so high that even his mizuage couldn’t pay it off. He was still so much in debt to Hoseok that he would either need a wonder or would have to work the rest of his life for him. Jungkook’s heart ached for his friend - and it also clenched tightly in anxiousness about how much money he would get himself for his ceremony. If it wasn’t enough he would be in the same position than Jimin. Though maybe he could keep a little bit of it, just a tiny little part and he could get Jimin a day off and they could eat Patbingsu and sit in the sun or visit the market and he would make sure to make Jimin forget everything that burdened him.

“Some people are made for love,” Jimin reached under his pillow to take out two fans and gave one over to Jungkook, “And some aren’t. And some…still need to practice their skills.” It was a weak attempt to make Jungkook drop the topic.

The little stab had Jungkook gasping in fake hurt. “What? Are you saying that I’m lacking? I didn’t even pour tea on anyone today how dare you insult my skills.” He threw a cushion at Jimin, trying hard to wipe the sadness from Jimin’s face - even though he secretly wouldn’t give up on his hopes for a happy end for the both of them.

“Pouring in tea and dancing with fans are two different things, Kook.” Jimin laughed, falling back to sit on his bed, “Now go wash up and then we practice.” He send Jungkook off with a wave off his hand and then let himself fall onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. What Jungkook had said repeating itself on his mind, fighting over wrong and right. Jimin had no idea how he was supposed to ever pay back any of the money he was owing Hoseok. When Jungkook came back, Jimin’s lips quickly curled up into a smile and he waved the younger over to sit right next to him. “Now just follow what I do, okay? I know you have training with Hoseok tomorrow…and I barely saved your ass because you rushed into the tearoom with Taehyung, remember?” Jimin chuckled and began moving the fan delicately, balancing it out perfectly. “Just keep your eyes on it. Imagine it to be like a butterfly.”

“A butterfly would never be stupid enough to let itself be waved around by me,” He mumbled defiantly though he was actually ashamed that Jimin’s had to cover for him again. Hoseok could be ruthless in his punishments and even if he would have just given him kitchen or waste duties for a week it would have meant a painful punishment in his case because his mizuage was so close and he needed to be seen, to show off his charms or else his biddings would be low and he would have to sell his virginity for just a fracture of his debt which meant there would be a pile of it left and each year it would get more as he would be still living here and a geisha that couldn’t even pour tea or dance with a fan properly was worth nothing and would never make it. 

Although it was late they both gave it their everything and Jungkook soon started to sweat so much that he had to wash up again. When he came back they decided to do it again one last time… and then another… and when they really couldn’t dance any more they sat down and Jimin told him more about the posture and what he should portray. Jungkook tried to focus but he was so sleepy that he only snapped out of his haze when he realized that it had become too quiet. “I…I’m sorry, what were you saying?” There came no reply and when he turned a little to see if Jimin was pouting he saw that the other’s eyes were securely closed. He had fallen asleep like that; leant against his side and back against the wall.

A fond smile appeared on Jungkook’s lips. Not really thinking about it further, Jungkook simply took the fans and placed them aside before gently making Jimin lay down and drape the blanket over him. Instead of going to the other side of the room to his bed, which stood just a few metres away, Jungkook laid down beside Jimin, letting the geisha cuddle up to him, who sighed softly. It wasn’t the first time they had slept like this. They had done it many times before. Sometimes because the thunder was just too loud and scary for Jungkook and on other days they just liked the comfort of not being alone. 

…

“Jungkook!” Jimin’s voice echoed through the whole powder room, searching for his maiko in the pool of Geisha’s getting dressed. He was halfway in his costume as well, only that it was hanging loosely around his shoulder right now and Jungkook was nowhere to be found. 

“There you are! Can you please help me?” Jimin turned around, so the maiko could dress him up, soothing over the robe before he adjusted the belt. 

“I’m sorry, Taehyung asked for help with something. I needed to get his robe all the way from Jin’s,” Jungkook was still feeling a bit breathless from the little sprint he had done to be back on time. “You’re not too late for your appointment, yet right?” He asked carefully, visibly relaxing when Jimin shook his head. “I’m fine, but Jungkook you aren’t.” Jimin said and Jungkook furrowed his brows in confusion.

“You’re makeup isn’t done, yet. I told you to always get yourself ready first before you do tasks for others, remember?” Jimin took the younger by his wrist to pull him towards his makeup table and sat him down. He soothed over Jungkook’s hair and placed a finger under his chin to make him look up. “Hold still, will you.” The geisha took out his brush and red lipstick, starting to apply it carefully to his lips. 

“You will dance with Jaehyun and Joowon in the main room today. Remember to guide them a little, okay? They are younger than you and it’s their first time performing. You’re the oldest maiko here.” Jimin smiled proudly, touching up Jungkook’s cheeks with a bit more rouge. “Hoseok will watch you closely, so I want to hear only good things when I come back tonight. I sadly can’t see you as I’m booked for the rest of the evening.” He pursed his lips into a pout, taking Jungkook’s hand to pull him up and into a hug. Sometimes it felt weird to see Jungkook so grown up now, when Jimin had the image of the young, shy boy still imprinted on his mind. On some days, Jungkook still was that boy but tonight he seemed more confident, ready to take on a new step into the direction of his mizuage. “Break a leg,” Jimin squeezed his hand one last time, before letting go, walking into the exact opposite direction that Jungkook was suppose to go. 

Quickening his steps a little, Jimin was hoping not to be late now. Checking the number of the room once more, he quickly got onto his knees right in front of the door taking in a deep breath. Having only one customer for the whole night could either be really nice and calming or stressful and long, depending on what the visitor was awaiting to see. Jimin had it before that a visitor wanted him to dance all night, thinking that he was some kind of robot that could dance without a break. His knees had felt so wobbly that he almost had fallen down the stairs that night. Although it wasn’t fun in that moment, it now had turned into a fun memory and Jimin couldn’t help but chuckle low. By now Jimin had learned how to say ‘no’ in a polite way and without angering the customers - so he was sure he would be fine. Sliding the door open, the dancer instantly bowed deeply, doing his usual greeting - that was until his breath got stuck somewhere in his throat when he saw who was waiting for him. 

“Namjoon…”

“You remember my name!” Namjoon greeted him with a soft smile. Jimin looked gorgeous, just like he remembered him, wearing a colorful robe with ornaments and an embroidered obi again. His make up brought out his eyes and even though it looked good on him Namjoon wondered why anyone would mask a face as naturally beautiful as Jimin’s. The surprise on the geisha’s face to whom was expecting him was evident so he had probably only gotten a notice that he had been booked by ‘Mister Kim’. And his last name wasn’t exactly rare. 

Namjoon bowed slightly and then motioned for Jimin to come in. He could see the younger’s gaze flicker around the room and he started talking right away because he was nervous. “It’s just me this time. Yoongi’s still at the company. And as he’s the one who knows all your rules I’m a little nervous about accidentally doing something impolite again. I tried to memorize everything he told me about how to behave in a tea house so I hope I’ll leave a good impression on you but if there’s anything that I’m doing wrong then please tell me right away. And don’t worry.” He gave him a little smile, “No touching this time. You can relax. I won’t disrespect you again.” He didn’t want the other to feel uncomfortable around him especially as he was sure it must be nerve wracking for a him to be in a room with someone who had broken the rules before and overstepped the boundaries of forbidden skinship.

“Just you?” Jimin asked astonished. Usually people came by to celebrate with friends, to see the show, to have a nice evening out. Namjoon was certainly not the only one, it was rather rare for just one person to book an evening with a geisha. As it was tradition, the Geisha usually sat down next to the one who was the ‘money giver’ the one who had initiated it all and because Namjoon was the only person here, Jimin sat down right next to him. “If you want…and you’re eager to learn,” Jimin placed a hand on Namjoon’s thigh and turned to look up at him, “I can teach you all about the rules. Because I heard that you haven’t been into tea houses before?” Jimin let go off his thigh and began to prepare the tea and snacks onto the table, unwrapping the chopsticks for Namjoon as well for himself. “Tell me, why is that? What changed your mind?” A mischievous smile played on his lips, curious if Namjoon was going to hold his opinion back or sugarcoat it for him.

He was more than surprised about Jimin’s hand on his thigh and almost asked about if before the geisha suggested to give him an insight into the world of their tea house and he happily complied. “No, I have actually. I’ve seen a few from the insight when business partners invited us or one or two times with Yoongi as well but I wasn’t really interested in that world. Not like I am now at least.” He didn’t come clean with the reason right away as he was embarrassed about voicing it out loud - and he also had a suspicion that Jimin already knew what or rather who had changed his mind about all this.

“I’m glad something made you change your mind then,” Jimin chuckled softly and motioned for Namjoon to take some of the snacks that were perfectly prepared for them. Jimin wasn’t allowed to start eating before he did and he was starving, waiting for Namjoon to finally pick something. “You can ask me anything you’re interested in - anytime,” The geisha smiled genuinely, taking a sip from his tea. “And I will answer honestly. Will you be honest with me too?” Jimin had reached for Namjoon’s arm, his eyes blinking up at Namjoon’s so sweetly. 

“Yes, I will,” That was a basis that Namjoon could work with and honestly now that he had the chance he was burning with questions and had to hold himself back not to delve into the private area right away. He wanted to know how Jimin had gotten here if he had family how he felt about his job, if he would leave if he could, what he had wanted to be when he had been little, if he still wanted to become someone or something else. Instead he decided to start with a question he had more ‘right’ to ask it directly affected him. 

“I’ll start then. How is it that you are touching me so casually now when I obviously overstepped a line while touching you? Is it generally like that; that you are allowed to while I am not or are there different rules in the private rooms because no one else is looking? You’re not… this isn’t… I mean you entertain me, right? Nothing more?” He was a little scared of the answer and it must show on his face.

Jimin couldn’t help but giggle softly at Namjoon’s first question. “I am allowed to touch the customers in a certain way of course,” The geisha cocked his head aside, explaining carefully, “We’re trained in the featherlight touch. But I do have to admit that when someone is exceptionally handsome I can’t keep my hands to myself as much as I probably should.” He bowed his head in apology, a light blush appearing on his cheeks. Jimin had said he would be honest, so now he had to live with the consequences, even if it meant blushing uncontrollably. “You’re not allowed to pull me, hold my hand or touch me in a way that is ‘claiming’. That’s why I startled when you held me back. But don’t worry too much. I didn’t feel threatened, it just surprised me. As a Geisha, I control how much I let you in, not the other way around. But if you come back an earlier evening, you can link arms with me on a walk through our garden if that is what you like to do one day?” 

It made sense the way Jimin explained it and Namjoon nodded lightly, a smile forming on his face at the thought of talking a walk together with the beautiful boy besides him. “I’d love that.” Then he sat up a little, his gaze on Jimin as he mentally prepared himself for what the other might possibly want to know. “Your turn now. I guess you didn’t asked me to be honest without a reason. So what is it you want to know?”

The geisha turned a little more towards Namjoon, taking a deep breath before saying, “Actually there’s two things. First, I’d like to have your honest opinion about something…and you tell me if you like it or not, okay?” Gazing deep into the other’s eyes for a moment, Jimin got out a small usb-stick. There was a keychain dangling from it on one side, with something that looked a lot like a small calico cat. “It’s not done, yet. And I’d like to have someone else’s opinion but Jungkook’s. Will you watch me dance?” 

“O…of course!” Whatever Namjoon’s mind could have come up with this wasn’t it. Watching the younger dance had been a pleasure and so he didn’t understand why Jimin was even asking. The cute key chain with the kitty pendant was like the cherry on top of Jimin’s natural cuteness and he would have made a bet that Jimin was one of those people who got all soft and smiley around animals and were loved just as much by them in return. the only question was who would be softer; Jimin or a cuddly cat?

The younger smiled and got up from where he sat to get over to the music box, searching for the right number. “Imagine this with thousands of butterflies all around me.” Jimin turned to look over his shoulder to Namjoon and got up, rolling his shoulders back to get into the right mindset. But before he closed his eyes Jimin added cheekily, “And can you please eat something? I am starving and I can’t eat when you don’t.” There was no chance for Namjoon to answer, when Jimin began to dance. 

It was mesmerizing.

It was like the boy was in his own world and Namjoon was just lucky enough to catch a glimpse of it. Jimin moved fluidly, as if he was a butterfly himself, riding the wind with opened wings. Namjoon had no idea how the younger could dance like this with his eyes closed when he himself managed to fall over chairs and ran into tables with his eyes wide open. He had reached out for a snack with rice with heated cheeks, to not keep Jimin from eating any longer - but as soon as the music started the snack layed forgotten. 

How could he do something as mundane as snacking while there was pure art happening in front of him.

The geisha only opened his eyes again, when the music faded out. He instantly locked eyes with Namjoon, anticipating and waiting for him to say something. When there was still silence, Jimin began to get nervous, fumbling around with the fabric of his robe. “It’s…it’s not done, yet. It’s just something I thought about. You know how butterflies are always seen as so mesmerizing, so delicate and touching them is deathly. For the beautiful creature at least. People don’t care. They hang them, show them off. Sometimes I feel like that, too.” He gulped heavily, when the last words had come over his lips so quickly, but so quietly that he just hoped Namjoon hadn’t heard them. Jimin turned around and turned down the volume of the music, letting it play softly in the back, before returning to the table. He would have loved to stuff his mouth with food now not to keep on talking – but again, Namjoon still hasn’t begun to eat anything. “Was it okay?”

“Okay?” He couldn’t help but stare at the other who seemed so shy, so insecure all of a sudden, baring his thoughts and his soul so easily through his dance while everything else in his life was pretty obviously controlled by other people’s rules and boundaries. “Do you really not know how amazing you are? How stunningly beautiful you look when you move, like art come to life or the veil to another world ripping so that your viewers can get a glimpse of it before it closes again the second you stop moving? It was beautiful Jimin, a little sad, a little bittersweet but it made me feel  and I guess that’s what you wanted to achieve, right? To make the viewer feel what it’s like to chase after perfection, to try for completion while it’s always out of reach, just a hair’s breadth away, too close for you not to try and reach for it but too far to ever achieve it.” He saw Jimin’s eyes flickering towards the food and jolted. “Oh, I forgot!” Hastily he stuffed a snack into his mouth and then motioned for Jimin to eat as well. “I hope I don’t have to eat every time for you can take a bite because I’m not that hungry and I’d rather watch you enjoy the food than eat it myself.”

Jimin didn’t know what to say. He was just blushing, averting his gaze and trying to calm his rapid heartbeat. 

“I…I…’m…” It was a weak try to thank Namjoon for his kind words. “You’re probably the one doing a lot of the deals, right? You have a way with words, Namjoon. Thank you. I still think I can tweak it a bit. I wish Mr. Jung will let me perform it one day. Imagine the stage filled with flying paper butterflies hanging from the ceiling. Wouldn’t that be beautiful?” He bowed his head again, shyly reaching out for a snack. “You just had to take the first bite and now I can eat as much as you let me. I would have eaten something before, but I had to get Jungkook ready. He’s having a performance in the main room tonight. I hope he’s doing alright.” Jimin’s gaze wandered off to the door for a moment, before turning back to Namjoon, “But enough about me.”

He laughed, “You see right through me, hm? But I can assure you that I never tell my business partners how beautiful they are - and that I absolutely meant what I just said.” He watched as Jimin took some snacks, quick and still a little shy, eating them with little careful bites as if he was prepared to jump up at any second to do whatever he was supposed to. He liked listening to Jimin talking and he nodded encouragingly while the other shared his ideas with shining eyes. “He’s a sweet one, your little Maiko. I wouldn’t have dared to book you for tonight if he hadn’t reassured me.” He confessed, a little surprised at his own courage. “Oh it would be a pity if that’s all I got to know about you tonight. After all that’s kind of what i’m here for.”

Jimin’s eyes widened, just for a second, before he regained his posture. So, it had been true what Jungkook had told him: Namjoon came back to get to know him. Him – out of all people Namjoon could choose. 

Customers came back a ton of times for him and almost every week he got a new proposal but none of them had interested him in any kind of way because deep down Jimin knew it was dumb to get involved with something. His debt was too high and not even marrying would get him away from this tea house. What else did he have anyways? This was all he knew, all that he was good at. Hoseok had made it clear dozens of times that he’d probably end up as a stripper if he tried to make it as a dancer outside of this establishment. But still, Jimin had dreamed about making it. One too many times. He wasn’t a catch for someone like Namjoon. He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. That was all there was about him. “Jungkook is really sweet,” He finally answered, feeling a little breathless, before speaking softly, “I’m just a Geisha, Namjoon. There’s not much to get to know about me.”

“Ahh, I see.” Namjoon’s voice softened a little. “So Geishas have no past? No dreams and no future?” He could understand why Jimin was hesitant to open up to a stranger that he’s barely met a handful of times but still he didn’t want to leave it at that. Because even though Jimin tried to tell him that there wasn’t anything to tell about him there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that. 

“Then maybe, just maybe you want to tell me what you do or what you think about when you are not busy being a geisha? Surely you must have free time every now and then?”

The geisha smiled at Namjoon, his hand reaching out for the collar of his suit jacket. He got onto his knees, getting a little closer to him to soothe over the soft fabric. “Technically when you become a geisha you fully let go off your past and embrace what it means and stands for entirely. Not everyone has a dream, Namjoon. Having dreams is a luxury that a geisha can’t afford.” Leaning in a little closer, Jimin began fixing his jacket while explaining, “A geisha is a dream. Your dream. My day is filled with duties of a geisha, from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. I practice, I do my laundry, I practice some more with Jungkook and sometimes, when I’m lucky and put enough money aside or gotten a good tip, I go out onto the market and buy new fabrics for my robes. And when I’m even more lucky, I will stumble upon a handsome stranger.” He winked playfully, but the breath got stuck somewhere in his throat right after. Jimin only realized now how close he was to Namjoon, nervously soothing over the man’s chest one last time. Maybe just to feel how the shirt was stretching over Namjoon’s chest so tightly, wondering how the buttons were still holding on and feeling his heartbeat for a moment under the palm of his hand. “I’m sorry, it bothered me the whole time. Your collar was all twisted.” 

Namjoon’s skin was tingling where the warmth of Jimin’s hands had seeped through the fabric. Jimin’s words were spoken so lightly, so nonchalantly as if their meaning didn’t hit Namjoon right where it hurt. He leaned in and as Jimin was still close he could almost taste the other’s breath against his lips. “What if I told you that there is something that bothers me as well? Something that isn’t as easily fixed as a collar.” He came even closer until he could whisper right into Jimin’s ear. “I think you are lying right to my face, butterfly. Didn’t we agree on telling the truth? I think you do have dreams. And if you tell me right now I might forgive you for breaching our agreement.”

Jimin was frozen, his hand had gripped tightly into the fabric of his robe when a shiver ran down his spine the moment Namjoon’s breath was tingling against his own skin. He was glad that the other was whispering into his ear though, this way he couldn’t see his unsure gaze, the sudden stunned expression that only lasted for a moment, before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He sat back onto his legs (feeling a bit more secure now because standing on his knees had made him so nervous that he was shaking) keeping Namjoon at an arm’s length distance from himself. 

“I wouldn’t call it a dream, but I do have a wish,” Jimin’s spoke softly, very carefully choosing his words. He didn’t want to offend Namjoon. He was right, they had asked for honesty and so Jimin would give it to him in return and still he would try to keep his dreams to himself. He had sworn himself to never dare speak them loudly. They were dreams after all and not meant to become real. And still he had those dreams, wishes, those ideas of his life becoming better - different maybe. It was the stupidest wish to have, Jimin was very well aware of that, because to people on the outside world it may seemed he had a lot. Beautiful robes, jewelry, makeup and a place to live but nothing did he call his own. In the end it all belonged to Hoseok, just like he, himself belonged to him. 

“I wish to have something that I could call my own.” Jimin looked at Namjoon with a faint smile, “Just mine, you know. That I don’t need to share with anyone else but myself.” His eyes widened, when Jimin realized that he had spilled a little too much, had sounded a little to self-centered. He was a geisha. He was suppose to put his own needs far back. If Hoseok would have heard him…Jimin gulped heavily and bowed his head quickly, “I apologize for sounding selfish, that wasn’t my intention. Please forgive me.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows went up. He had not expected something so small, something that was so natural for most people that he hadn’t even considered it something Jimin could wish for. “You mean… you don’t have anything that’s yours?” He shook his head in disbelief. “What about the robes you buy on your own? Or the gifts you receive from admirers? I’m sure you have a lot of those, don’t you?” Even he had been ready to gift Jimin with something after their first real encounter. It wasn’t ready, yet or he hadn’t brought it with im but he had meant it when he said that he wanted to give Jimin something from his company that was designed for him.

Jimin softly shook his head. He was telling Namjoon too much already, but there was just something about him that made Jimin want to share a part of him. Namjoon just seemed so honest, so pure and kind. “I don’t. I am not allowed to keep gifts out of different reasons. The clothes I wear all belong to the tea house. I am allowed to chose the fabric sometimes, but that’s it.” He smiled faintly, “None of this is mine. It never was and it never will.” He took in a sharp breath, blinking at Namjoon, his voice sounding so small and quiet that it was barely audible. “Not even myself, but I guess you figured that already.”

Now he had finally said too much. And still it had spilled out of him, like it never had happened before. No one had broken his Geisha persona so easily like Namjoon did. With just a simple look. His eyes looking at Jimin so honestly. Almost as if he had seen right through Jimin and he had no choice but to speak from his heart. Hoseok always said it was his only weakness – but he’d also said he would train it off. Why did he break now? Hastily, Jimin got up. 

“I am sorry. I know I said I would be honest but there are things I can’t tell you. I already said too much. I am very grateful for Mr. Jung and this establishment.” He bowed his head deeply, taking a few steps back, feeling way too shaky on his own two feet right now. What if Namjoon would tell on him? That he was an ungrateful person? That he dishonored Hoseok in just a couple of sentences for making sure he had somewhere to live. 

Jimin looked so scared, so shaken that Namjoon forgot his initial decision to not give into his urges this time and only approach Jimn when he was absolutely sure that the other was okay with it. He couldn’t just keep his distance now and let the other stand there on his own, looking so small and vulnerable, eyes wide and fearful as if he expected someone to jump out from behind somewhere and punish him for talking. 

“Jimin…,” He reached out his hand for him and when Jimin didn’t flinch back he got closer, careful and slow, watching the younger attentively to react to the slightest discomfort. He placed his hand on the boys shoulder as a soft reassurance before he told him, “No one can own you. Ever. They might think they do with buying your time and… and I’m no different really, forcing you to be with me but… no one can really have you if you don’t let them. Your soul is entirely your own. No one can touch that against your will.” 

Jimin scoffed, but gave in to Namjoon’s touch, just because it felt good. He leaned against the hand on his shoulder, wishing that he would take him into his arms - just once. But instead, Jimin just took a slow, deep breath and looked up at the handsome man. “Can’t they? I see you’re not familiar with the world i’m living in. It’s okay, I don’t blame you.” With a shaking hand and a fast beating heart, Jimin reached out for Namjoon, placing his hand against his cheek, just to feel the soft warm cheeks under his palm. “You’re so sweet, Namjoon. Too kind. Please don’t think you’re forcing me.” His gaze wandered over the soft features of his face, the sweet dimples that showed, the warmth in Namjoon’s eyes. It was luring him in, way more than Jimin wanted to admit.

“I’m not?” Namjoon’s heart beat faster at that as hope was blooming in his chest. “So if we had met under different circumstances and I had asked you out on a date - would you have accepted?” He hesitated torn between his morals and his heart’s desire, his logical thinking and his stupidly strong feelings for the other. “Is there.. is there still a way where you could do that? Date someone I mean? I don’t want to take advantage of you or save the money or anything it’s just… it  feels a little strange to be with you like this. Could we go out somewhere where no one would breathe down your neck or control what you’re saying? I meant it when I said that I want to know you… and I mean you, Jimin, not whatever you think you have to be to fulfill my fantasies.”

The geisha’s eyes turned wide while his heart was beating so fast and hard that Jimin was sure it would jump right out of his chest. Many men had asked him to marry them before, but no one ever dared to ask him out to date. He was completely overwhelmed, his face paling visibly. 

“Y-yes m-maybe,” Jimin whispered but let go off Namjoon, his hands wandering down his shoulders, “But there are no different circumstances. You really don’t know much about this, hm. Maybe you should ask your friend.” He squeezed Namjoon’s arm softly, biting his lip, “Maybe then you would understand a little more.” There were many things Jimin wasn’t allowed to talk about - his past, his debt and the way he had been brought to the teahouse. Leaning in carefully, Jimin placed a barely there kiss on Namjoon’s cheek. “Please come back,” He whispered, before turning on his heel quickly, sliding the door open a bit too hastily that he almost bumped into the person standing in front of it. 

“Oh, there you are!” Hoseok chuckled low, glancing over Jimin’s shoulder and bowing to Namjoon. “I’m sorry to interrupt sir, but as you had been over your time for a bit now I was wondering where my geisha was.” He easily discarded Jimin and walked in to shake Namjoon’s hand with a firm grip, “Mr. Jung, nice to meet you…Mr…? I’m sure you understand. It’s just safety measurements. I hope you had a good evening with our sweet little gem. Was everything how you wanted it to be?”

Namjoon didn’t have to ask who that person was. The way Jimin had straightened his back and cast down his eyes and the way the person in front of him acted told him enough. When he called Jimin ‘my geisha’ it confirmed his suspicions: This must be Jung Hoseok, the owner of the establishment. 

“Of course, I understand. I take care of what is mine as well.” When Hoseok didn’t correct him his eyes flickered over to Jimin. So the geisha hadn’t exaggerated when he had hinted at being treated like some kind of possession. “Everything was to my delight. He exceeded my expectations, even so I’d like to book him again very soon.” He was talking to Hosek, polite and distanced but what he was trying to do was telling Jimin that he would come for him again very soon. Now that he had gotten a glimpse into the youngers mind there was no way he could just forget him and move on.

“Oh, that’s wonderful to hear,” Hoseok said and looked over to Jimin, whose gaze was fixed on the floor. “The reception downstairs will be very happy to help you find the perfect date for your next appointment. Unfortunately for now, I have to take Jimin with me.” He smiled at Namjoon sweetly, wishing him a good night with a bow. The moment he turned around; his smile faded. He placed a hand on Jimin’s back pushing him further out of the room and down the hallway with him. 

“Since when are you going over the time? There’s a time limit for a reason, Jimin. Do you think I got the time to go and search for you each time?”

“No, I am sorry, Hoseok. I didn’t mean to…,” Jimin stumbled a little, because Hoseok was walking fast and his own shorter legs in comparison couldn’t hold up with the large steps he was taking. “You should be sorry,” He hissed under his breath and came to a halt, just to pull Jimin by his wrist and into the room at the end of the hallway. Despite it all, his expression turned softer the moment he looked at the geisha, his finger trailing along Jimin’s jawline until he could lift his chin just a little. “My sweet Jimin,” Hoseok hummed melodically, “You really don’t want to anger me, right? Not with something as simple as coming too late…”

Namjoon looked after them and when Hoseok placed his hand at Jimin’s back there was suddenly something bitter in his mouth that he couldn’t swallow down. There weren’t all those rumours about tea houses for a reason and even if Jimin hadn’t said it clearly he had told him enough for Namjoon to feel anger at the thought of someone telling Jimin that he “owned” him and treating him as such. He knew he should go, he couldn’t interfere now, there were rules and if he didn’t follow them it wouldn’t help Jimin it would only lead to him not being able to see him anymore. 

Namjoon had just forced himself to turn when he saw how Hoseok pulled Jimin aside, the younger obviously struggling to keep up and visibly uncomfortable - and Namjoon just acted. He would so totally regret this, especially when Yoongi kicked his ass for this but he couldn’t tell Jimin he was interested in him and that no one owned him and then let him be bullied a second after. Hurriedly he ran after them and then knocked at the door; a formality really as the walls were so thin he could have just started talking. “I’m so sorry to interrupt and take even more from your precious time but… I fear I’m kind of lost. It’s my first time in this private area and I seem to have lost my orientation. Would it be too much of a favour to ask for your geisha to show me the way to the reception? I’ll make sure to pay him for his overtime of course. I don’t want him to get into any trouble because of me.”

Hoseok opened the door, fake smile perfectly in place while Jimin was sure he would faint any second now. He wanted to tell Namjoon that he was fine, keeping up a smile himself and looking at him with a warm gaze. “Oh, it’s simple, Mr. Kim…” Hoseok was just about to start explaining the way when Jungkook passed the corner. “Our lovely maiko will show you. Jungkook!” He called out loudly making the younger startle and turn around quickly. The maiko bowed the moment his gaze fell onto his superior and Namjoon. “Show, Mr. Kim the way back to the entrance, will you?” The younger nodded eagerly, glancing inside the room just for a second to see Jimin staring right back at him. “T-this way, please.” Jungkook motioned towards the stairwell, but his eyes were on Jimin and only when the younger formed the words ‘I’m okay’ did he return his attention to Namjoon. 

This wasn’t what Namjoon had wanted but he couldn’t say no now or insist on it being Jimin who went with him so he had to smile and bear it and with a little bow he did just that, thanking Hoseok for the help while trying not to make it obvious that all he wanted was to make sure that Jimin was fine. When the door closed behind them his smile fell and with a frown he followed Jungkook in the direction of the reception that he absolutely knew how to find.

“You shouldn’t worry, Mr. Kim,” Jungkook spoke up as they reached the last step, giggling softly at Namjoon’s confused expression. “I can tell that you are. If you keep on frowning like that you will get wrinkles…at least that’s what Jimin always tells me.” He said, playing with the fan in his hand while he accompanied Namjoon. “You shouldn’t put too much attention onto yourself like this.” Jungkook’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper as he gazed up at the taller man, “It won’t help any of us. Especially not Jimin…if that is what you are trying to do, Sir.”

Namjoon almost startled when the boy started talking out of nothing. He took it as a good sign that Jungkook trusted him enough to talk freely, even more so than Jimin even though he had barely talked with the Maiko. However he couldn’t let go of it just yet. He stopped before they came near the reception so that it was only them with no one else around. “Could you tell me a few things please? Jimin told me that he’ll be honest but I think it scares him a lot to do that. You are not scared, are you? So… would it be okay if I asked you about him? I could pay you if you want. Not as a bribe to make you talk but as something to give back in exchange for your trust. You can take it to buy something for you and Jimin or save it up, that’s entirely your choice.”

Jungkook stood frozen, his mouth hanging open in an attempt to say something but there were no words coming out. He looked up and over his shoulder into the direction that Jimin was right now and then back to Namjoon. “I get him into a lot of trouble all the time, Sir. I can’t take your money and I don’t want it.” He sighed deeply, lowering his voice, “Even if I could…I wouldn’t be able to buy us something or save it up. I would need to pay back, just like Jimin. He only has it worse than I do.” Namjoon’s sudden change of expression made Jungkook gasp, “Oh. You don’t know?” His smile was a weak attempt at lighting up the mood a little, “Sir, if you really like Jimin, please keep your head down. I don’t want you to get into trouble…not you or your handsome partner. That���s all I can tell you. I am sorry.”

“But how can that be? You’re younger and as far as I know you can only book geishas so how can Jimin have it worse? Does the geisha attire cost so much? But  I thought that was what the mizuage was for, to pay for everything the Maiko needed to become a geisha and in return…,” He broke off, embarrassed about talking about Jungkook’s virginity that the younger would lose sooner or later in exactly that way, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive. I just… don’t get it.” He lowered his voice, concern still evident in it, “Hoseok doesn’t… hurt you, right? And as the guests aren’t allowed to touch you… you are safe, aren’t you? You’re not… you don’t have to be afraid of…” He didn’t even what to think about it let alone speak it into existence. It might be cowardly but the thought alone tightened his chest painfully. There was enough pain in the world. He didn’t need to see the one he liked involved in it.

Jungkook was getting nervous the more Namjoon was talking and at the same time he only grew fonder of that man that seemed to have taken an interest in his geisha. “No, no, we’re okay, we’re safe.” Jungkook tried to calm Namjoon quickly, his hands up in defense not to stir up any drama or cause a scene. “A mizuage can’t always pay off a lifetime’s debt.” Jungkook anxiously motioned for Namjoon to walk further, “You really have to go, Sir. I mean it…please.” Jungkook felt out of depth, pushing Namjoon slightly to finally move along.

There were still so many questions on the tip of his tongue but he understood that Jungkook had to go back and he didn’t want to get the boy in trouble (apart from the fact that Yoongi would kill him if he would mess with ‘his little maiko’) so he nodded and thanked him and apologized profusely for keeping him for so long. If he could only get sneak peaks from the boys during situations like that he had would have to go back to asking Yoongi and hoping what the other told him was true and not something Yoongi had heard from others who didn’t knew a thing. He didn’t want to feel so clueless all of the time (which was new for him because normally he was the one holding the facts and explaining it to others.) 

While walking home he got out his phone, calling Yoongi even though the other would be certainly busy at that time. As he expected he got straight to voicemail but it was better than having to wait to call him tomorrow. “Yoongs, it’s Namjoon. I… I was at the tea house again. And I need you to explain it to me. Everything. Because I think I might have… I mean… I really like that Geisha. A lot.”

A/N: Here we go again!!! Thank you so much for the great feedback we got on the first part. Cat and I really appreciate it! ❤❤❤ And we hope you like this chapter, too ;) Don’t forget to leave us a comment on what you think is going to happen next hihi

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[elizabethrobertajones]

I haven't been keeping up with the season, but obvi I've seen gifsets galore & I wanted to know your take on how human Cas is behaving. I know he's had a soul since Metatron (& I assume he didn't lose it just bc he got his grace back), but I feel like since returning from the empty he's been wearing his emotions & thoughts on his face & in his movements more clearly. Do you think this was a conscious choice after facing the empty or a less tangible change that occurred within him as a result?

I think something less tangible that’s been happening for a long time, because back in season 10, even, we were talking about this. And I know in season 9 there was also at least some commentary on the way Cas was operating, when he had some grace again. Though I missed most of those conversations… My first Cas episode with fandom was 9x21 and I remember people talking about him leaning on the desk in his office and how it was a human mannerism. And that was all before we discovered he’d sewn his coat in 9x18 and we only got it in deleted scenes. 10x09 as well, I remember commentary on his mannerisms, as I think there were some especially noteworthy moments where he was behaving much less stiff than usual. 

All of early season 10 for Cas was pointing out how he’d rather be on earth, rather be with the Winchesters, and in general suggesting that he might one day be better suited for a human endgame than even he realises, especially played off against Hannah, who copes so poorly with being on Earth compared to how Cas has grown so comfortable there. 

And I don’t think Cas has ever really got more stiff and formal after any of this, just that the writing moved away from directly challenging Cas about who and what he was for a while and started asking him different questions and framing him in other lights. He picks up a lot of trauma towards the end of season 10, once he gets his own grace back, and he’s out of the zone where he would die without it and therefore challenged in the story to think about this himself. The writers don’t really wanna spend all their time telling the same thing over and over and if it’s a few season renewals before this can be relevant again, all I know is that Cas never answered the major questions he was posed, and this was never satisfactory resolved in any way when it comes to the themes of that time, just that we moved onto his depression arc. 

But I think in that time we saw a lot of stuff where Cas supposedly, at least with his original grace and often times without any magic effects on him, was still in a really terrible place, being depressed and traumatised, saying yes to Lucifer, and all the punishment season 12 put him through, including some very emotional moments like in 12x09 where he kills Billie on their behalf. 

This season his return from the Empty has made him seem more confident in some ways, but at the same time he’s still lost about his purpose, still struggling with being sure he’s completely accepted by Dean and dealing with low key self worth issues which of course affect him, because he can’t come out squeaky clean. But he had at least to fight off some of the worst things he believed about himself in order to defeat the Empty and on the other side of that he’s been standing taller and more confidently, which is great. But I think his mannerisms have been slowly creeping in and evolving for a long time, especially since being human, and while playing Cas since then always as a lower powered version of Cas, I think the change has been a long, slow process, but at this point we’re getting to where it’s extremely obvious how he’s so different from how he used to be.

My favourite example this season is in 13x19 where he’s bored waiting in Heaven, and he isn’t waiting like Cas would do in the old days, where if he was impatient he’d still stand still and radiate annoyance, or maybe pace back and forth if he was REALLY agitated. But we get a whole montage where he flops all over the furniture, pokes and prods things, and moves around the room bored and curious and very very much in a human way where it’s not even being disrespectful or whatever, it’s that he genuinely is bored and is distracting himself from a long wait in a really human way. I don’t think it’s really surprising with where is NOW or particularly weird for him. It’s not a red flag that anything is short term weird with him. Based on how the last like 4 years at least have gone for him, it’s not super strange for him to be behaving like this in season 13. But if he was doing it 5 or 6 years ago and longer it would have been much stranger, maybe even a red flag that something was wrong with him, and would have had way more purpose than just being to make us laugh at how bored Cas is, but to make some really profound point about him which would be new and revealing instead of expected and just a way of reminding us how different Cas is these days. I don’t think it’s revealing now in the sort of way of saying “wow! how human Cas is!” except maybe for people who REALLY weren’t paying attention, compared to if stiff and proper Cas had been revealed to act like this away from the Winchesters’ eyes in like… season 4 :P 

But, yeah, idk, Cas goes through so much and he’s been gradually changing for a long time, and in season 9 and 10 especially there was so much focus on who and what Cas was, and things like Claire calling out how much he changed and stuff, that it was a time of a lot of growth and shaping of Cas while season 8 had very deliberately been a sort of soft reset where it turned out Naomi was responsible, but it’s a last hurrah for Cas being remotely like he was in his most angelly times. They really rebuilt who and what Cas was in that time and since then we’ve been exploring deeper the new version of Cas.

I suppose no one really reads my episode notes but if you see me joking about party!Cas a lot, it’s because of this from 13x19: 

elizabethrobertajonesListen, at some point Cas transitioned from the stoic Cas we once all knew to a new and better Caswe’ve been talking about this a long timesince season 10 at leastbut I think finally I can say for certainthe season 10 - present Cas is…party!Cas

mittensmorgulPARTY CAS

elizabethrobertajonesand will refer to him as such meaning this period of his life indefinitely until it changes again :Pwe can keep it to season 13 if that makes more senselike his newfound purpose since the Emptybut I was harping on Riverboat Gambling!Cas earlierso I think this is actually something that’s been going on a whileand Party!Cas is just a more dominant trait this season than ever beforebut the arc to  becoming party!Cas has long been in motion

mittensmorgulthat reminds me of some of the early s12 meta talking about ‘growing up’ and how the characters were getting to experience adolescence for the first time… and Cas is kinda going through growing pains too. guess this is late adolescence for him now :P

elizabethrobertajonesawwwwwteenage party CasI love himso much

(I ended up typing this all to Mittens while first watching Cas messing around in 13x19 in the heaven waiting room. Though at the start of that episode, Rowena complains they don’t go to enough parties, and when she hangs up on them, Cas is like, “she’s right, you never go to parties.” I figure he’s waiting for someone to throw him a birthday party while Sam and Dean are too awkward to ask when it is after all this time.) 

But yeah, the traits I identify with party!Cas are all the ones where he seems less angelly and more human, more a truer version of himself and especially when it’s because he’s confident and owning being more than anything he ever thought he was “only”.

[agnesgoesadventuring-blog]

Would you please shut up about Molly and widomauk for fucks sake. Stop acting like we're the worst shippers in the world just because you think your entitled to the characters you wanting to be ace being ace, or maybe it's homophobia I don't know. All I know is seeing you spending all morning acting like we're idiots who are wrong at every turn is really pissing me off.

Okay, I'm answering this one ask and deleting all the rest of the similar ones, so let's just let this be a blanket post to address the multiple hateful asks I got, since they're all saying pretty much the same things.

You clearly had a problem with the things I was posting about and talking about yesterday morning, and you're trying to frame those posts as being hypercritical of your ship and as treating you shippers like "idiots", so let's take a look at the things I posted yesterday morning.

The very first post I made was answering an ask about whether or not Marisha had ever said she was queer, to which my response was pretty much just "I have no idea."

The second post was answering and ask about my feelings on Reylo, to which I responded by saying that while I'm a Star Wars fan, I still haven't seen The Last Jedi and I have no experience within the SW fandom, so Reylo isn't something I can talk about because I know pretty much nothing about it as a ship.

The third was answering an ask about why people are drawing Clay, who was described as "unhealthily skinny", to be "buff and sexy". My response was a gif that pretty much said "I don't know why artists draw the way they draw".

The next post was answering an ask that suggested, without actually naming them, that Widomauk shippers were going to be "insufferable" following last week's episode. My response wasn't even agreement. It was to point out that lately there have been a lot of people in the fandom being insufferable, regardless of shipping preferences. So I didn't make any comment or criticism of you and your fellow shippers in this post. The anon did, but if you're sending me asks like this because of what an anon said, I would ask that you not put what other people say onto me.

The next post was an answer to an ask that seemed to be venting about people who were complaining about Caleb's line after killing Lorenzo and not mentioning Molly. My response was about the fixation on Molly in regards to Lorenzo's death and the way the characters who had been taken prisoner by him seemed to have been ignored and cast aside in this desire to have everyone make it about Molly, why Caleb's characterization wouldn't lead to him saying anything about Molly regardless of whatever he feels on the matter, and the fact that some people don't really appreciate the importance of Frumpkin to Caleb. The anon made mention of widomauk shippers, but my response was entirely general and was not specifically about widomauk shippers. If you read that post and saw it as being some kind of callout of those shippers, then you were projecting things onto that post that weren't there. Perhaps your subconcsious is trying to tell you something about your behavior.

The next two posts were art and gifset reblogs.

Following that, I reblogged the post about the Talks Machina panel, reiterating how glad I was that Liam specified that Caleb is not in any kind of place for romance of any kind. Again, if you think that was some kind of callout of you and your fellow shippers, you are projecting something onto that post that isn't there.

Next was the reblog about YNB and not wanting her to guest on the show due to bad behavior in other fandoms, then a reblog about asexuality/aromanticism.

Following that I reblogged a post about the fandom's treatment of Astrid as a character, which I complimented as being good analysis. Once again, I will say that if you saw any of that, whether it was the original post or my compliment of it, as being about you and your fellow shippers, you are projecting something onto that post that isn't there, and perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something about your behavior in regards to your ship.

After that I answered an ask from someone saying they liked Beau/Keg because they're both into it, and that Yasha not being so into it is the reason they can't get into Beau/Yasha. I answered by saying I understand that feeling, and that I shared it.

Then I reblogged some art.

The next reblog was a reblog of the TM panel post, and I responded to someone talking about widomauk shippers that might respond to Liam's answers with denial. My response was to bring up the shippers who ignore the bad behavior of people within their ship and act like it doesn't happen. This is the closest thing to what your asks suggest I was doing yesterday morning, but if you think that reminding people that there are some shippers who refuse to acknowledge the bad behavior of those in their group is homophobic or treating all widomauk shippers like "idiots who are wrong at every turn", then I don't know what to tell you. Again, maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something.

Then I answered an ask that was complaining about the person who asked the question about Caleb's last line. While the anon did suggest that they asked the question because they were a widomauk shipper who didn't get what they wanted, I specifically said that we don't know exactly how the question was phrased and that we have no idea why they asked the question. I then talked about GENERAL (not talking about any ship or group in particular) gan entitlement.

The next post was talking about how I thought that perhaps what Liam said at the panel had been the catalyst for some of the hate I'd been sent. Considering the fact that I was talking about hate that was sent to me completely unprovoked, I'm not sure how you can frame this as the shippers being the victim and me being the bad guy.

Then there was a post about makeup, two gifset reblogs, and three posts about the fact that I wasn't getting some of the asks that were being sent. One of which included a person who sent me hate trying to make sure that I got that hate, while managing to be hateful in doing that.

Those were all of the things I posted yesterday morning. There was one post where I talked about the behavior of some widomauk shippers, specifically their refusal to acknowledge that some people in their ship behave badly. That's it, and I hardly see how that can be characterized as treating you and your fellow shippers as "idiots who are wrong at every turn". In other posts where anons specifically mentioned widomauk shippers and their behavior, I either specifically noted that it wasn't a fair accusation or I discussed things in general terms without claiming any of the things being discussed were exclusive to widomauk shippers. So, I will say one more time, if you looked at those posts and saw what you're trying to characterize those posts as being, you are doing a tremendous amount of projection, and you should probably ask yourself why you looked at those posts and assumed I was talking about you, your fellow shippers, and your behavior.

Now, to address the other two things in here...

Criticizing shippers who are so acephobic that they desperately try to prove a character can't possible be ace (all while demonstrating massive amounts of ignorance in regards to asexuality and aromanticism, who romanticize and infantalize mental illness, neurodivergency, and other conditions that effect the brain, who (at the very least) tread the line of fetishizing gay men, among other things, is not homophobic. If I was suggesting that every single Molly/Caleb shipper was like that, you might have something to your accusation. But I have never suggested such a thing and have only criticized the behavior itself. Furthermore, I've also criticized such behavior in general, without it being connected to Molly/Caleb or to any ship in particular, as this fandom in general does have a problem with things like acephobia and ableism.

And let's not act like accusing aspec people of homophobia for doing things like headcanoning characters as ace, wanting ace representation, and pointing out when we're being harassed isn't a form of gatekeeping that's been incredibly common for quite some time now.

As for your suggestion that I think I'm "entitled" to all having all the characters I want to be ace actually be ace, I would very much like you to point me to exactly where I've ever said or done anything remotely like that. Unless you think that headcanoning a character as ace, talking about the need for ace representation and how little there is, and not just taking the abuse from people who have treated me, and others, like we're not allowed to headcanon characters as ace is remotely acting like I'm "entitled" to having "all the characters" be ace... I don't think you're going to find it. This is yet another case of people like you twisting things around because it's easier for you to argue with and to use to make us look bad. It's not so easy to argue against "I headcanon this character as ace" and "there's hardly any ace representation and there should be more" and "hey, stop sending us hate for headcanoning a character as ace", or to use those things to make me look bad. But it's a lot easier to do those things if you twist it around to "I think that every single character I want to be ace has to be ace."

Furthermore, having ace headcanons for some characters and wanting ace representation has absolutely nothing to do with criticism of the way the some shippers frame the Molly/Caleb ship and the criticism of some of their behavior, outside of the fact that some of that behavior includes acephobia and ace-erasure.

If you're a shipper who doesn't do anything of the things I've criticized, who doesn't frame the ship in the way I've been critical of or demonstrated any of the behaviors I've been critical of, then I'm not talking about you or criticizing you when I talk about those things. Considering the tone and content of this ask, though, I doubt that's the case. If you are someone who does all those things, you'd be far better off thinking critically about your own behavior and ways that you can continue to ship the thing you love while minimizing the harm you do to other than you are trying to frame me as the villain of this piece and using me as a punching bad because one of the players said something about your ship that you didn't like.

[shinichirosbabymama]

Happy Birthday Daddymenrah!

A/N: So today is the birthday of real bad bitch and GOAT @daddymenrah I decided to write her a little something following a hilarious conversation we had over whatsapp. Plus I’ve always been kinda equally horrified and fascinated by the thought of your fave finding your fanfic blog. But here we go, enjoy!!

‘Come on you guys, it’s bed time.’ Jeffrey cooed in a low voice to his chickens as they clucked and squawked as they made their way into their pen. It was dusk on the farm and time for his evening ritual.

Jeffrey made his way inside, stopping first to grab a beer from the fridge before firing up his laptop. It was once again his favourite time of day.

Jeffrey squinted at the keyboard over the top of his glasses as he slowly tapped in tumblr.com into the search engine (after searching for google directly through google chrome).

Once he had accessed the site he went immediately to the Neagan x reader tag - his personal favourite. Hell people really fucking loved this character and how could he blame them? He gave a low chuckle to himself at his own narcissism as the page loaded, his eyes searching anxiously for any new posts.

His heart skipped a beat when he spotted a new one - Professor Neagan. The title alone made the blood rush to his cock as he began to read. The story got hot really fast to the point where Jeffrey almost needed to palm himself out of frustration. This girl knew how to fuck. He could have spent himself on the first read right there but he decided to indulge.

He clicked on the URL - he had no idea what a 'menrah’ was but the daddy element was certainly attractive. He kept the imagine open in a separate tab as he began to scroll through the blog, the site of his own face across numerous gifsets pleasing him greatly. Maybe there’d even be pics of her.

His need continued to increase as his eyes flitted between the blog and the writing until he came across something that made his blood run cold. A man, who looked younger than him, was sprawled across the screen in front of him writhing around in some bed sheets.

'The fuck…’ Jeffrey hissed as he examined the tags daddymenrah had adorned this post with.

'Fuck’

'Daddy’

Each one was like a stab in the chest. Jeffrey cursed himself for allowing to think that just for a moment, he was her daddy and not this skinny little kid – Rami Malek.

What was so fucking special about him anyway? Against his better judgement he continued scrolling only to be met with more pictures, writing and declarations that she wanted to screw him. That was it. Jeffrey opened up her ask box (after taking 2 minutes just to find the damn thing) and typed out a quick message, the sound of his fingertips clattering on the keyboard filling the room.

Are you a Neagan blog or not? I don’t know who this other guy is but I like your Neagan writing the best.

Jeffrey rubbed the facial hair above his lip after he’d hit send. He hoped he hadn’t upset her with his impulsiveness. The thought stayed on this mind until he noticed a reply on the blog an hour later.

Well this is my blog after all if I want to write other characters then I will. Neagan will always be my priority but I’m open to other stuff. If you don’t like it don’t follow.

Jeffrey felt a stab of guilt in his chest – he’d been completely foolish to just message her so suddenly like that. He knew he had to make amends.  Agitated, he began to think.  After a few moments Jeffrey shoved his glasses higher up his nose as he focused on the screen. He knew what he had to do.

Jeffrey’s knowledge of tumblr had been limited to start with. But making his own blog took on a whole new level of technophobia. His paranoia led him to create a whole new email address which took nearly half an hour in itself. For the next six hours he carefully crafted his blog – titling himself Neagan’s bitch as he slowly filled the page with gifs and pictures. His follower count grew but barely.

Late that evening, exhausted by staring at the screen for hours on end, Jeffrey hovered his cursor over daddymenrah’s ask box once again. This time there was anonymity, no hiding. It was time to be Neagan’s Bitch.

Hey so I only just joined this site but can I just say your writing is fucking amazing. You write Neagan so well and so dirty! I think that’s my favourite part haha. Sorry if this is weird.

Jeffrey steepled his fingers until his chin, hoping that his little note was enough to make amends. He relaxed back into the couch, hoping to get out of his mind with some TV and the beer he’d long forgotten about earlier.

Jeffrey jumped awake a few hours later. The glow of the TV filled the dark room and he could feel dampness on his thigh where the last of the beer had spilled from his hand. He shot upright to grab a towel to dry himself with when he noticed tumblr still pulled up on his laptop.

As he approached the screen to shut it down he noticed something had changed. A box had appeared in the corner of the screen and Jeffrey’s heart palpitated with horror when he realised it was daddymenrah.

Thank you for your message. Your cute as hell. More people need to recognise Neagan as the god of fuck that he is. JDM can get it too tbh.

Jeffrey let out a choked sound at the sight of his own name. His hands shook as his fingers danced across the keyboard in swift reply – barely processing what was even happening.

I agree I don’t think enough people recognise Neagan’s sex appeal, I think most just think he’s some old dude lol.

Jeffrey perched on the edge of his seat as he waited for the reply. It came quickly once again.

Old dude? That’s exactly what I find so attractive about him though. He gets better the more he ages.

Well that certainly piqued his interest. Jeffrey ended up staying up most of the night talking to this girl. He felt like a bit of a creep but it was (mostly) innocent and in all honestly she fascinated him. He learnt that she was from the UK (which would explain why she was wide awake and he was dropping off), she was younger than he was (but totally legal! He reminded himself over and over) and totally infatuated with, well, him.

After that night Jeffrey didn’t let his phone out of sight. He constantly waited for her to text him. As soon as his phone screen lit up he snatched it up, searching for any information she was giving him. It was strange honestly – he couldn’t place what had led him obsessing over this girl online but that didn’t seem to stop him. She, on the other hand, was far more aloof. They communicated often and she made him burst out laughing with a deep chuckle often but he knew she probably wasn’t waiting for her phone to ping like he did.

Jeffrey had to constantly balance between revealing too much about himself and going too far in the descriptions of his on-screen characters. Even his vibrant strand narcissism could only go so far. But daddymenrah continued to indulge him without even knowing it.

This went on for a long time. Longer than he thought actually. He knew his girlfriend suspected him but he only grew to resent her. She didn’t talk about him the way daddymenrah did. She didn’t appreciate him. As he and daddymenrah got closer and closer he began to understand that she didn’t just want his body – she really understood him. She’d studied him a lot. And she liked what he saw. He knew her real name but he tried not to call her it for risk of her materialising too much for him.

Eventually he could tell that she was growing suspicious of him. She never got upset about anything but Jeffrey could tell she was kind of pissed that he didn’t share much.

I wish you would tell me more about yourself looool I hate emotional shit but I wish I just knew some stuff.

You do know stuff we talk all the time.

Yeah. About me.

Jeffrey sighed. She wasn’t wrong. But what could he do? If the truth came out she would never speak to him again. And his career would be in ruins. But at the same time he couldn’t bear to throw this away. What a ridiculous thought – a grown ass man getting caught up with a  girl who writes stories about him online. Jeffrey continued to scold himself as he fell asleep that night but he knew that a decision was inevitable.

The day started like any other. Jeffrey and daddymenrah texted first thing in the morning and then sporadically throughout the rest of the day. Jeffrey smiled and swore loudly when he drooled toothpaste all over himself when he was distracted staring at one of the many selfies she sent him reacting to some stupid joke he’d made. Sometimes she pulled the most horrendous faces but they always made him laugh. He loved to see a woman so uninhibited.

That night Jeffrey settled down on the couch of his empty house. He felt sick but he knew it was now or never. He had to make her understand. Hands shaking, he typed out a message.

Do you want to Facetime? I thought it would only be fair.

YES OF COURSE I DOOOO

Okay but first let me just say something.

Aight shoot.

This isn’t a prank or one of those fake videos or whatever. I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you I just didn’t know what else to do…

Daddymenrah didn’t reply to that and instead the sound of the incoming Facetime call blared out loudly from his phone. Jeffrey swallowed down the bile that had been rising in his throat and answered the call, holding the phone as thought it were a grenade.

The girl he’d been talking to for all these months gazed back inquisitively from the screen and then froze completely still, a frown overtaking her features.

'Surprise doll.’ Was all Jeffrey could muster in a low voice laced with embarrassment.

'This isn’t fucking funny.’ Daddymenrah began to laugh, a high-pitched wild laugh.

'It’s not a joke…’ And then Jeffrey said her name and she stopped, going very quiet.

'WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK-’

Jeffrey had to hold the phone a good few feet away from him to cope with the noise as it bounced around his whole damn house.

'Please try to calm down. I said I was sorry – I couldn’t just tell you from the start darlin’’

'Shut the fuck up just book me a plane ticket. I’m coming over there right now motherfucker.’

Jeffrey let out a loud laugh. So this is a thing now – he thought.