#my notes take a hit when i dont post constantly

[ghouljams]

Will we be getting more fae!price on Wednesday? I love how witch darling handles him 🖤 you’re amazing

You'll be getting more fae!Price later tonight. Don't have any theme days planned for this week, especially since my queue is empty for the first time in like a month

[barsformars]

A Little More

//

g - fluff

p - jongho x gn!reader

w.c - 1.2k

t.w - none

a.n - i wrote this back in 2020??? i found it in my notion drafts so i edited it a lil bit and decided to post it (i dont think ive posted this? i couldnt find it on my page)

//

You tapped your feet impatiently to a made-up rhythm in your head, constantly glancing up at the clock hanging on the wall right behind your teacher. Urgh, class was supposed to end 16 minutes ago.

"Are we going to miss it?" Jongho turned to ask even though he had already guessed that judging from the way you were acting.

"If she doesn't stop talking right now," you leaned in slightly and replied softly, not wanting to get caught talking in class. That would just mean getting held back a little longer than you would like to. "Gosh, I'm not even absorbing an-“

You pause at the sudden quietness of the classroom, looking up to see Ms Kang with her arms folded across her chest. Uh-oh.

But before she even has a chance to call the both of you out, Jongho raises his hand, making up a lie on the spot as an excuse. "Sorry, they were explaining a question to me!" He nudges you with his elbow, which was your cue to apologise as well so that Ms Kang would just get over it.

"Alright, but next time don't discuss while I'm speaking. Got it?"

"Yep!" You rolled your eyes playfully at your table partner, he has a way of always getting out of trouble. It was just impossible for anyone to dislike him, and all the grown-ups just absolutely adore him.

Thankfully for the both of you (and everybody else), Ms Kang decided that there was no point in carrying on the lesson any further. She said that everyone looked 'too dead on the inside' which wasn't not true at all. It's just the case when school had started as early as 7.30 in the morning, only ending now at 5pm (or rather 5.20pm).

You stuffed all your belongings into your bag hurriedly before helping Jongho with his. Why does he always have a pile of loose notes and books under his table? Now, if it wasn't for how early the sunsets were nowadays now that it’s winter, you wouldn't be rushing him. You never liked pressuring anyone in any way.

"If we miss it today, we can just catch it tomorrow or whenever, you know." It wasn't that Jongho didn't like you rushing him, in fact, he doesn't mind it at all. He just rather not see you stressing over something so minor so unnecessarily.

Jongho had a point, but you really wanted to see the sunset today for whatever reason. Or actually there were many reasons. You know how there's always one week in the month where the sunsets just hit different from the other days? That's what you have observed at least, even if you didn't have any scientific information to back it up or prove that was really the case. Anyways, to put it short, the sunsets recently have been extra pretty and if you don't catch it today, you'll have to wait another month. Why? You have classes that extend way past 5 o'clock starting tomorrow.

And besides, you couldn’t wait any longer. As curious as you were hopeful, you really wanted to know who Jongho had caught feelings for. He promised he would tell you on a day the sunset is exceptionally beautiful.

"We still have a little more time left," you said, not bothering to explain your thoughts to Jongho. It's too much effort to try and properly formulate your thoughts into coherent sentences.

"Alright, let's go then." Without any warning, Jongho takes hold of your wrist, pulling you along with him as the both of you ran down the hallway, then the 8 flights of stairs and finally to the open field at the back of the campus.

After all the panting and gasping for air, you tilted your head upwards only to be greeted by light grey clouds filling up the sky. The golden rays of the sunset were barely peeking out from the back despite it extending out like roots greedy for nutrients in the soil.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and checked the time, hoping that maybe this was only the starting and not the end. "They say the sun sets in 6 minutes, so I guess we just wait?" You suggested, already seated on the floor before Jongho could process your words.

He remained standing, looking down at you with narrowed eyes. There was definitely something wrong with whatever you had just said but Jongho couldn't tell if he or you were the stupid one here. "I think that means the sky goes dark then, no? Like when the sun completely sets....." His voice trails off as you tugged at the sleeve of his uniform to get him to sit down as well.

"I don't know, but no harm in waiting just a little while more."

"I guess," Jongho said with a shrug of his shoulders.

But a lot of things can happen in just a little while. For example, Jongho might just muster up a little more courage in this peaceful silence to confess his feelings for you. And in this little while, an amazing friendship could very possibly end, unless you saw him as a little more than only a friend.

Jongho decides not to take the risk just yet; there's no harm in waiting just a little while more. Just a little more, when he can be a little more sure of your feelings as well.

"What's with this weird atmosphere?" You joked, an attempt to ignore how fast your heart was racing right now. Lucky for Jongho, you were too busy calming yourself down that you missed the way his body immediately tensed up at your question.

"Uhm, I'm guessing that's-" Jongho points up at the sky that was very far from spectacular-"all today's sunset has to offer." That wasn't the best way to break the awkward silence but oh well...

"Can we wait 5 more minutes?" You had almost lost all hope at this point but you never know what might happened in the next few minutes. Maybe Jongho would finally decide to let you in on his crush's identity as he had promised. Because if he doesn't, then you might. And if it so happens that your feelings for him aren't reciprocated, you were only going to burden him with your feelings. You don't want that, but right now you're barely holding yourself back. "Do you even remember what you promised me?"

"The thing about my crush?"

"Mhmm..."

"Yea, I remember. But today's sunset isn't it." Jongho sighed as he leaned back on his hands, staring up at the now dark sky. "Just wait a little while more."

"Well, but I don't want to miss the timing just like we did with the sunset today so I'll just say it." Your voice was shakier but in no way more timid than usual, perhaps it was the adrenaline that was rushing through your veins right now. Because right now, you couldn't care less about the weight and consequences of your words.

"Choi Jongho, I really like you a lot."

[oniikabuto]

general hcs ☆ south park

-- sfw --

characters: the main 4

a/n: it's literally midnight. i need to be up at 5am tomorrow. i'm writing about south park on tumblr.

synopsis: just headcanons of sp kids! their little quirks and habits and stuff

oh also aged up

...

— ⛧ e. cartman

has all of the really good snacks in his pantry

had a phase where he really wanted to be a garbage truck driver as a kid

listens to ariana grande and lady gaga

sings his heart out in the shower

refuses to admit it if you ever overheard him

weirdly sharp canines it makes him look like an evil little rodent

allergic to picking up after himself. there's literally a trail of shoes all the way up to his bedroom

never takes stuff out of his pockets before his mom washes his clothes but then gets pissed when his earbuds and stuff go through the wash

smells like baby soap

bites his pencils and they look horrendous

one time kenny asked to borrow a pencil and he threw it back almost immediately after feeling the bumpy chewed-up wood

thinks that menstrual products shouldn't be free because "can't they just hold it in??"

kyle will fight him about it

loves chocolate milk to death

— ⛧ k. mccormick

gappy teeth

but it looks cute on him

likes cds even though he doesn't have a cd player

always packs his lunch in the morning and karen's

there's little holes on the insides of his pockets and he has a habit of sticking his fingers through them and wiggling them without realizing

which make the holes bigger

keeps a porn magazine in his school backpack and leafs through it on the bus or in the library as if he's casually reading the news

sex jokes just SLIP out. he doesn't even think before he makes a sex joke.

his backpack is a mess and he uses the little pockets to store trash and edible wrappers and crumbs

has a disposable somewhere that he hits in the middle of class

kyle gives him a disapproving look when he stumbles into class high as balls

street smart but doesn't know how to do long division

favorite food is chicken nuggets with ranch

loves ranch (i fucking love ranch fight me)

will let you paint his nails

probably listens to tiktok music like mitski and radiohead and shit

also the smiths

— ⛧ k. broflovski

4.0 gpa all the way until that one A- in pe. junior year that dropped it to a 3.9

cried about it and sulked for weeks

stan almost left him because he got so sick of it (rockin that 2.9)

"dude it's not that big of a deal"

"MY LIFE IS OVER STAN YOU DONT GET IT"

keeps really organized notes- not just for him, but for the sake of his friends who take shitty notes

he has freckles idc if they said he's a daywalker HE HAS FRECKLES.

has a 10-step hair care routine every night

spends longer in the bathroom doing his hair care thing than his mother

spends 30 minutes every day watching tv with ike no matter what

gets violently competetive over kahoot

listens to the cure and elliot smith

keeps a different notebook for each class

— ⛧ s. marsh

always has at least one earbud in

sometimes when there's a lot on his mind, he gets very easily distracted

will step in the shower with his socks still on by accident

has a little crush on kyle (sorry style brainrot....)

used to read a lot as a kid, not really much anymore

unconciously messes with little papers or napkins in his pcokets and tears them to bits

gets like no sleep ever because he can't ever get off his phone or whatever he's doing long enough to try and get some sleep

still gets nauseous whenever he's near someone he has a crush on

terrible at articulating himself through text

if you want to show him a video or post, you would have to show him irl because he won't see the tag.

smoked weed once and decided it was overrated, but will sometimes get high if kenny asks or something.

loves vanilla flavored things even though it's basic

constantly has random change and wads of cash in his backpack because he's too lazy to stuff his things back into his wallet

[the-s1lly-corner]

ATTENTION TADC FANS!

youve all been waiting, and im finally taking requests for TADC again! apologies for the sudden shut down and dismissal of the requests, but it was truly getting to a point where i was beginning to hit the beginning stages of a burnout; and in order to prevent myself from resenting the media or growing tired of it, i had to take a break.. but we're back! with a few news rules that i urge you guys look into since things are going to be slightly different this time around (not much, only one real rule is added, but still!)

As per usual for these posts, im linking my pinned that has most of the rules that generally apply to this blog, really these posts are just for me to announce that im taking stuff for a fandom, you know?

if youre not new around here, though, you will notice a note within the "i will write section", which is that new rule i mentioned above the cut!

however for those who cannot access the link for whatever reason, here is a summarized list of rules n stuff

Basic rules and boundaries:

all requests must be sent in through the inbox. any requests submitted via comments or dms will not be answered, period. i prefer the inbox because its all in one place and easier for me to keep track of things. dms feel invasive and make me feel pressured, and comments can be lost easily. as well as this, with asks i have the request right there so i dont have to dip back and forth for details on what you want

no spamming, please! while i am deciding to keep anon on i can tell when its different requestors asking for the same thing by chance, and when its the same person sending in the same thing. you will receive a warning once (this alone counts as one so technically you get two), after that your request will be denied flat out

as of 12/14/2023, i am not taking oc readers or readers based off of canon characters. while i did canon characters before, i do not have the means or energy to comb through many character wikis for every request. i do intend on opening character based readers eventually, but as of now it is not possible or efficient. you CAN ask for specific traits or personalities, though, thats still allowed

the new rule i mentioned: the new maximum number of characters you can ask for per request is 4-5. before i didnt see much point in limiting TADC since its just 7 characters but i found that most people asked for full casts, but most requests didnt spark any real ideas for every character; thus really feeding into that burnout i mentioned. any requests failing to follow this rule will be put in the wheel (wheel will have the characters names and it will choose who will be written for the request)

i can deny your request for any reason, usually though it will be for discomfort or for being in violation of the admins rules/falls into what he wont write

What I will Write:

fluff and angst! as well as general headcannons! scenarios are allowed too!

poly, platonic, romantic, ect is fine! any characteristics for the reader are usually fine (ex. child!reader, artist!reader, ectect, obviously for stuff like kid readers it will automatically be platonic)

really most things are fine, if theres anything that makes the admin uncomfortable, he will communicate it!

while technically i do write for it, please be mindful when asking for requests that tackle heavier topics (abvse, self h4rm, ect) and will be handled on a case by case basis rather than being set to a solid standard, as well as taking the admins current mental state into consideration when handling these requests

What I WONT Write:

NSFW or NSFW adjacent requests. no smut, no kinks. i have had people try to sneak kinks past me by trying to mess with wording or by trying to justify it by saying it was intended to be fluff. i do not kink shame, but that wont be tolerated here

no yandere stuff, admin isnt really comfy with it. theres a difference between writing characters that can be very jealous and writing something that is extremely unhealthy and to admins knowledge, demonizes those with mental disorders

as mentioned above, heavier topics will be taken with a case by case basis; however if youre asking for things like abvsive!jax x reader or jax walking in on reader SHing then its a hard no. active stuff will not be written here, however a character who has gone through that in the past is an entirely different story

full on fanfics; outside of special occasion, the admin only writes short little paragraphs and stuff for posts

general ban on basic nono content

On the off chance that you request something that has already been done before, admin will link the post that has your request!

with all that being said and done, go nuts guys! i kind of missed writing for TADC but i had to put me first

[sommerregenjuniluft]

everytime i remember both barty & james are setters in ur haikyuu au i go a little insane...... what r they like when they're playing each other?? constantly taunting the other, doing setter dumps back and forth, telling each other the exact play they're about to do, etc....

cass my light my love i'm so glad you asked i only just thought about them yesterday

so back in january i've been watching a lot of international volleyball games on youtube and like taking notes and through that found out how i want james and barty to play. i bet you remember this post. both james and barty do this but in different ways. iranian national team setter saeid marouf does this thing where no matter how good or bad the receive is he always manages to keep his players in a tight rhythm. they're on a time limit so to say and he passes the ball accordingly fast after taking it on, urging his hitters to sped up their last two steps before the jump, which increases their hight and power. it's so mercyless and trusting and how talented you have to fucking be to keep that up let alone invent that so that's our james right there. for barty he is less of an obvious genius (i'm not 100 sure yet if i'll leave it like that or might add something but for now) he always sets percisely in the hitting window to let them also make decisions of their own because they're all so cunning and observant he knows they'll decide on the right thing. slytherin has a wild variety of plays that all are very confusing to their opponent (lots of players attacking at the same time and curved sprints, switching places and everything) even after a bad receive they manage to pull a complex play (they're much like seijoh in that aspect). barty signalizes them the play he wants to do and waits until the last second with deciding who he wants to set to, he's a calculating monster. always having the opponents players in view, how his own hitters are doing, how the receive was, everything. his unpredictability makes him dangerous.

now when they're playing against each other is mostly a disaster waiting to happen. barty is a first year and he's constantly getting admonished by his upperclassmen and the second evan only so much as suspects barty's concentration is slipping because he's too focused on beating James instead of gyffindor he sends him the biggest death glare to reign him back in. and while james is also only a second year, he is captain. sirius has to do so much damage control as vice whenever his temper gets the better of him and it's, if understandably when against barty, a lot.

slytherin is a downright mean team. they block the view to the person serving. they aim where it hurts. yknow how the teams assemble after each point for morality/celebration to like pat each others back? whenever gryffindor makes a mistake and esp when they fumble a serve, slytherin cheers just a tad too loudly. like it's bordering on disrespectful/bad sportmanship. also (and while they def dont need to resort to such measures) they love questioning the referees. they insist there was a block touch or they insist that the served ball was outside of the line etcetc. ofc james is the first to also stand by the refs, shaking his head and desperately trying to remain calm because he does not appreciate getting cheated.

barty being our deceptive king probably would do something like revealing his plays when he hears some of the opponents talk about it, but he'd have to do it under his breath and in secret because the thrid years dont appreciate him being that cocky (because they dont know yet that he can pull it off). also one time after a bad receive he yells Quick! but instead of a middle blocker quick he sets to an outside hitter and everyone is like ?!!?!? but yeah 100% setter dumps back and forth i can easily see james doing one at the very beginning of a set or match even. constantly taunting each other. like in my mind i think it would take quite a lot to get james to lose his uplifting/confident demeanor (as in sad/resigned to a loss) but he does get annoyed/infuriated from time to time, esp about someone outsmarting him (cough atsumu core). and barty is just overall pissed at james keeping his form and not fucking up and petty asf and he 100% trash talks near the net. maybe even about sirius and regulus

[scoupssolo]

semi-permanent-Idk hiatus

i've been thinking about this for so long it's honestly kind of stupid. But I’ve lost a lot of passion for creating and sharing for seventeen. Don't get me wrong, Cheol and the boys are still the loves of my life i still adore them and i want to create and they make me creative but I just cant take the stress. I feel like I’ve spent so much time and so much money sharing and creating for the fandom and hours upon hours creating things that just don't get traction. and yeah that's whiny I know it, but I literally find myself constantly stopping halfway through an elaborate gfx because im like whats the point when if I don't reblog it 20 times it wont even hit 50 notes. and i know my content isn't for everyone and i know i'm not making content for a more popular member so i can't really expect much, but i spend more time arguing with reposters than anything else on here. And it just really hurts. and i know that's stupid and silly but I can’t help it. I spend so much time recording and compiling things and spend money to share things and I just feel so disconnected from everything. I know i’m also at fault for the fact that i’m so insanely shy I cannot talk to ppl first, ever. but I don't know... I spent a good 20 hours on making content for cheol’s birthday this year and didn't bother to post after a few days because it's so disheartening. 

I don't want to stop making content for him, I love him more than anything in the world to be quite honest, and it just shatters my heart to not make things, but it also just sucks to watch them flop almost constantly. i don't know if i’m just extra sensitive because i’ve had covid for over a week or if i'm just hitting a limit but i don't know if I wanna keep making things or sharing things on here anymore. I wont remove any of the masterlists i've made or paid content i’ve shared, I just won't be making more or any of that. as least not for a while. And I’m not saying. I don't love it here because I do there are so many people I love and adore on here, that I wish I was better at talking to and being friends with because I’d probably feel less bleh. And this isn't anyone else's fault and i'm not upset or mad at ppl (except reposters i still hope they all choke) but i'm just not sure anymore, and until I am i’ll probably just be active on @chanstopher. Im sorry this is so long and full of complaining, I just am sad and needed to finally get it out. 

if you read this far i appreciate it, and I’m sorry for being so negative. I’ll still answer asks and questions and help ppl because I can’t help it, it’s who I am. I just dont think I’ll be making anything for a while, or maybe at all. I’m not sure. I’m hoping a break will help and I’ll want to do it anyway damned the notes, but I’m really just not sure right now.

love Dreamy

[star-girl69]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIRL YOU GOT ME DOING BACK FLIPS ISTGD.

I'm literally fangirling soooooo hard rn you don't understaaaaaaanddddd. ❤️❤️❤️❤️I feel like I'm about to like explode or smthg like damn.

I can't say I will ever truly understand how you're feeling but I want you to know that how you feel is so so so so valid. I wish there was a way that I could reassure you that you are amazing, your work is out of this world and you have people who love you and appreciate you.

Literally when I see that you have posted something(notifications always on for you honey) I start smiling at my phone like an actual idiot omg its not even funny the way you could ask for anything and I would do it twice for good measure. I hope you know that we are patient and we will always have gratitude for the people who take the time to give us wonderful content. We are also understanding and I hope you don't feel pressured to be constantly producing. We can and we will wait always. You taking care of yourself should always be priority.

I believe in you. ❤️

- ❤️

(oop I didn't mean to get heavy but I always mean everything I say)

(Is that a challenge????? Honey prepare to be admired ferociously ❤️lightwork is talking about you cause all I have to do is look in my heart fr fr)

(I will always be here to talk ❤️❤️trust)

(virtual hug cause that's the only way I know how to comfort😭😭)

THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING I THREW MY PHONE INTO MY FACE BY ACCIDENT AND HIT MY TOOTH BC I WAS SO EXCITED TO READ THIS WHAT THE HELL

anyways.

NOOOOOOO DONT EXPLODE 😔💔💔

oh my god. you seriously have me giggling and kicking my feet LIKEEE idk. i don’t know what to say I FEEL SO BAD but like i’m smiling so hard rn and just THANK YOU

no your words are MORE than enough this makes me so happy and makes me so excited to write more trust!!!

AWWWW HOW YOU HAVE NOTIFS ON IS SO SWEET I CANT

YOU BELIEVING IN ME MEANS SO MUCH I CANT EVEN ARTICULATE IT LIKE I WOULDNT KNOW WHERE TO START JUST AHHHHH 🤭🤭🤭

(NOOOOOO it’s ok you can get as heavy as you want LMAO)

(i’m gonna ignore this second parenthesis bc my reaction to it was embarrassing but i’ll give you a hint: blushing and screaming into my pillow and clutching my heart and blushing and kicking my feet and blushing more and did i mention blushing)

(tysm ily ❤️❤️)

(i LOVE HUGS and physical touch in general i feel 10x better)

(side note but i’m making a list of all the names you call me actually new one added to the list! honey i giggled. so bad. 🤭🤭)

[chanstopher]

I don't want this to come off as rude at all,I'm just curious as to why you get so much interaction. your posts always get notes and you seem to answer a lot of asks everyday. I am also a cc in the fandom (I'm on anon because I don't want anyone to judge me for this) and my content flops pretty constantly. I'm just wondering if there is a secret to success I'm not learning or if my content is just garbage. Any advice would be nice!

Hi, I definitely dont think you're being rude, I totally understand being frustrated by numbers on here. i wish i had secrets to share but i really dont. i have a lot of followers so my content is pushed further. using tags properly and becoming friends with other ccs is really good for getting your content seen. ive been lucky enough to have ppl like me for some reason so ppl support my blog when i post things most of the time. i do also have some flops, thats just how tumblr works and some ppl wont agree that your content is good and ignore it.

its harsh to say that and i know that ive had terrible content get a lot of notes because of my blog size. but you just have to keep working at it. try changing up how your content looks (more or less grain, sharpening settings, try unique coloring or try to really work on color correction instead of just making things more vibrant or darker) if u write find other writers, no one supports content like content creators.

as for the asks, i have literally no idea. i am confused as to why people would talk to me constantly abhdjs I just try to be kind and keep my negative opinions to myself unless theyre about ppl stepping over bounds or being mean or rude to skz. i try to just be unapologetically myself tho, posting about chris like a rabid dog or just weeping over how much i love him. it is apparently very relatable lmao

i am not good at making friends, all of the people who i am friends with on here have come to me seeking friendship, but going on anon and talking to ppl or just showing up in tags with fun comments or thoughts or just compliments on the content will make you friends. a lot of ppl have reached out to me just because i was kind to their work.

the only real advice is to not give up. i think blog growth is always slow until you just hit a certain point where for one reason or another you become more known and then it will grow more rapidly, but it can take a while. and it can take you finding what youre really good at, you might have no idea how well you are and gif blends or graphics or even just being someone who updates on activities happening with skz (this site is absolutely lacking a proper skz update blog fsjniss) if you ever want to vent about it i'll listen, and if you ever want to send me your content and ask for critique i can do that too (but it will just be my opinion and im not anything special fhbdjs)

above all else you have to enjoy making things or it is never going to be worth it. no number of notes is going to make u better at any kind of art. only time and effort and enjoyment will.

I'm sorry this is so long and i wish any of it was truly helpful, but tbh i think i just got lucky with tumblr and how much interaction i get :/

[kindheart525]

Tag yourself! I’m Slowly Dying, Discord Server Mod, and Poor Little Neigh Neigh

[Image Description: Chibi-styled headshots of the Thirdverse cast with the following descriptions under them (character names indicated in parentheses, not part of image):

Homophobic Dog (Celestial Blessing)

Would rather drink a smoothie than go to therapy

“You have depression? Just cheer up”

Gives you a dirty look if you start crying

Constantly judging everyone

Slowly Dying (Bismuth Sun)

Full time student with a job, doesn’t even need it to survive

Three majors and five minors, considering another

Attends every single community event

Somehow has time for online discourse too

Quiet Quitter (Evergreen Blaze)

Does the bare minimum at work

Works with someone for 5 years and never learns their name

His favorite color is “personal information”

Avoids his coworkers at the grocery store

Influencer (Moonray Chill)

Goes on annual trips to Disney, thinks this is normal

Believed in Santa until she was 14

“If you’re homeless, just buy a house!”

No concept of money whatsoever

Common L (Lantern Glow)

Looks at themselves crying in the mirror when they have a breakdown

Has daddy issues or mommy issues if not both

Finds comfort in their childhood interests well past that age

Can’t find a therapist so they have several diaries

iPad Kid (Strawberry Breeze)

Bites people like a rabid dog

Life goal is to scream louder than Krakatoa

Picks her nose and wipes it on the wall

First word was fuck

Better Than You (Earth Day)

Always dresses in style

“I won’t have my son doing makeup like that, his eyeliner is all wrong”

Can convince you that you need something you had no interest in

Joins every single conversation just to be the center of attention

Nepo Baby (Princess Cut)

How much could one banana be? 10 dollars?

Thinks Kim Kardashian is a self-made millionaire

Saves money by cutting out avocado toast and Netflix

Also dad owns a business

Chihuahua In An Itchy Sweater (Sunny Sweet Dreams)

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me”

Takes even the slightest teasing personally

Selective in showing affection including to herself

Thinks being school project partners is "too intimate"

Dont Mine At Night (Laffy Taffy)

Curses at you in the Call of Duty lobby

Has a meltdown when the game lags

Fall Out Boy blaring in headphones 24/7

No sleep, bad grades, but defeating the final boss was worth it

Shallow (Galatea Candyheart)

Everyone wants to be her friend

Because she has the cool 24 pack of crayons with the sharpener on the back

She has to check her schedule to plan playdates…in preschool

Calls people she just met her best friend

Oh Worm? (Tiger Lily)

Says I love you to the cashier at McDonalds

Holds the door open for people who didn’t ask

Offers snacks and band-aids to everyone including strangers

Cries harder than you do when you scrape your knee

Discord Server Mod (Daisy Wasp)

The only one with conflict resolution skills

Stays up till 3am to moderate the group discussion

“No venting in the general chat”

Calls herself the friend group babysitter

Poor Little Neigh Neigh (Fairyfly)

Puts all the pressure on himself because his parents won’t do it

Complains about the stress he’s under as if it isn’t self-imposed

Thinks it makes him a better person

“Shut up I’m not short I just hit 4’11”

International Harvester (Blackberry Maple)

Posts travel pics at 12pm on a Tuesday

Accepts every single friend request on Facebook

Knows every stranger’s life story

You only ever see him at Thanksgiving dinner

Living Pinterest Board (Orchard Sunrise)

Does school notes about horrible tragedies in cursive with a pink highlighter

Every outfit is coordinated, even the work clothes

Spends hours in the bathroom doing her makeup

Asks you for help but nitpicks every step of the way

Useless Little Fuck (Fireside Jam)

Quotes distracting vines while his family does dangerous yardwork

Tries to carry the groceries inside but spills the whole bag

Offers to carry one (1) thing and hands it back to mom when it gets too heavy

Parents have to re-do all the chores he did badly

End Description.]

[todayisafridaynight]

WHAT DO YOU MEAAANNN "MID" THAT COMIC GOES SO HARD AND NOT FOR ANYTHING... THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT VERBATIM... THIS GOES HARD. Incredibly effective composition and symbolism and use of values and shadow on the first page ESPECIALLY (I would love to hear what the third eye symbolizes as mentioned in your tags :) ) but. But. But like. Masato being Arakawa's comfort and not recognizing it and certainly not remembering it when he's older... despite how much it means to Arakawa in the moment... owwww owwie

I was gonna ramble about how much it hits home to depict Yoko as non-human because the nightmares that have stuck with the most about my mom were like that But Enough Of That We Get It... at any rate, as always, take care and I hope you get some good news soon!

thank you so much ♪(´▽｀) !! it generally felt like somethin i dont really post (but horror/blood is something i really love and love to draw), so its why i was especially excited to share it and see what people thought: im glad people like it from what i see (❁´◡`❁) ! and im glad the lack of color wasn't anything detrimental- it might have worked better in this instance. maybe.

i dont ever 'title' things per say since i feel weird doin it BUT i guess captions serve as the title sometimes. so the caption 'matrophobia' is really ironic with that whole aspect in relation to masato being arakawa's Everything: on the one hand, it can just be a general fear of your mother, but on the other hand it could also be the fear of becoming like your mother. if i ever intended to go through with a jo variant, 'patrophobia' would for sure be the title with that ambiguity in mind, but (and i suppose in both instances) with this its more ironic here since masato is the one who ends up the most like his parents' abusers- which ultimately just makes things more bittersweet in that moment dont it (´▽｀ ;;;) on top of masato being arakawa's comfort, it's not just masato himself being the only reason: tying back into the alt. meaning of matrophobia, it's also a relief for arakawa in that he didn't turn out like his mother- which, again, makes everything so bittersweet in the end. its like spiders in my brain when it comes to that whole aspect in regards to the arakawa family's history and dynamics...... it makes me insane to be blunt ☠️

ah but yeah ! i decided to make her an actual perceivable monster so people who. DON'T. have issues with either of their parents could get a better feeling of what it is like to have a troublesome parent/s (id rather see wolves in my dreams than my mom on that note- even if they were going to bite my face off ( ´◡` ;;; ) ). i ran out of tags before i could make any more notes i had while drawing （；´x｀） but i do have more and i'll be glad to explain the missing eye bit ! under the cut since it'll just be me rambling bout symbolism ig and its gonna get long (´▽｀;;; )

when it came to the third/center eye being missing specifically, i did it in relation to how the third eye can relate to enlightenment or higher knowledge. definitely just as a result of projection, but its cause all the time when i was growing up my mom would not only assert and act as if Her Way Was The Right Way and that she knew everything, but that i should only go to her if i needed help and no one else could help me- hence it being missing being a reflection of how that notion isn't true (or always true i should say). as en extension, it's also a dig at how enlightened persons are supposed to help others reach enlightenment- yk, guide them. yet, again, in this case, they're only doing harm.

that's all for the third eye bit, but also just some other things i didnt have room to ramble bout last post: i had her lips be torn away to constantly show her fangs since. well. i dont have to explain it i guess: its just meant to highlight the never ending feeling of danger when around her (and the promise of danger). her nose being gone is purposeful too: in animals, the smell of your family's significant and it helps you find out Which One Is Yours right. in her nose being gone- again, more projection and personal problems on my part- it's a way to emphasize the separation between mother and child: 'you're no longer my kid anymore, i can't even recognize your scent'. of course, that's only to the mother: she is the only one no longer able to say they're family because she can't smell that shared scent anymore. in reality, they could very much smell the same, it's just the mother's unwilling to accept that anymore.

i know i mentioned the flowers in my initial post, but her wearing a flower shirt really was convenient since it allowed me to add those thorns and vines. when you have a troublesome parent like that, the feeling of not just being trapped is there, but it's painful- it's not something you can deal with quietly. even if you're not interacting with the parent directly, the thought of their presence or the unfortunate thoughts that come about as a result of having been around them so long are a constant thorn in the side. if i may make a pun ( ´uゝ` )

alright NOW i think i've covered everything i wanted to. without all the symbolism aside, i hope she at least looks grotesque for people to enjoy without the added thought- and i hope i didn't overdue it. in any case im glad you enjoyed it !! i hope you'll enjoy the next comic i get out (❁´◡`❁) if i ever start it and i dont abandon it midway through ( ❁´◡`❁ ;;;)

[mmollymercury]

For the ask game: 💚💚💚

44. How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful?

67. What’s the worst thing a person can be?

93. Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them?

OoOooOOO here we go!

Prepare for a long post with some venting sprinkled in

Okay, first: do I lie? Not much. I know a lot of people say that but I'm actually pretty proud of the fact that I don't lie often; I used to have a big problem with making stuff up about my life as a way to mask and fit in with neurotypicals. I was never my true self with my friends, out of fear of being shamed or bullied. I mostly stayed on tumblr back then (way more than now, if u can believe it) still had this blog, just a 'beta' version of it lol and I was in soooo many fandoms, I didn't interact with ppl tho, I'd be scrolling through fanfic and art all day, reblogging stuff and posting art that got literally ZERO notes lol, daydreaming about living in my hyperfixations and venting to a brick wall (essentially) about what I now know to be OCD. When I was revamping this blog, deleting all my old posts, I found that vent post I made all those years ago, I took a screenshot of it just to keep. It was so insane to see how far I've come but also sad to remember how I was feeling back then.

I actually cried thinking abt how I'd never be able to be my full self around someone and that I'd never have a genuine friend who I could laugh with and feel comfortable with. Whenever friends wanted to hang out or call me, I'd be nervous all day thinking about it, dreading it, basically. It was bad. But then I met @valentineee and she's honestly the first true friend I've ever had, she's my wife and I love her with all my heart‼️‼️‼️😭😭💗💗💗

So, since I met Valentine, I've finally become comfortable being who I am and I vowed to stop lying. Obviously sometimes it's inevitable, like if you have to do it because of circumstances- but other than that, I think I'm very truthful! And I'm really proud of myself for it💗

That kinda branches off to the sub-question, is all lying inherently bad? I don't think so because some people may have genuine, mental blocks or traumas that can make them feel like they need to to protect themselves. However, there are people out there who lie and take advantage of people just because they can, which is different. Overall, I think lying isn't too bad unless you are generally a trustworthy person💖

What's the worst thing a person can be?

A LIAR- no just kidding lol😭😭

Wow glitter... way to hit me with the heavy questions😭

Imo, the worst thing a person can be is immoral, inconsiderate, hurtful and evil, all on purpose. If someone does these things because they find it fun to see people suffer, that's the worst kind of person to me.

💤💤💫💫💫Dreamss💫💫💫💤💤

I used to draw meaning from my dreams to an unhealthy degree. All of you that have OCD would know that intrusions invade your dreams, I had awful dreams like this and every time I woke up, I'd be convinced I was actually a monster, dreaming of disgusting stuff. But that's not true, I was only dreaming about it because I spent EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT thinking about my intrusive thoughts, literally, I was inconsolable, I was constantly rocking back and forth or pacing or shaking my leg, every so often I'd scream and yell and twitch and my face would be pulled down in this awful grimace. It was painful, I literally can't believe I survived that. I couldn't be left alone because I was so scared and I had to sleep with my mam because the thoughts got worse when I was alone. I'm medicated now, so things are good. Intrusive thoughts will always be there but I've gotten so much better at trusting that I'm a good person🥰

Mkay... went on a whole ass vent there and bared my soul, oops-

Point being, I don’t really assign meaning to my dreams, if people do, I'm completely alright with it. I choose not to because of trauma. Also, I dont think it’s really possible to assign a definitive meaning to something as fleeting as a dream (wow am I a poet-) like, I do find it cool that a lot of ppl will dream of the same thing but I think that's just another thing that connects us, we're all human and have similar anxieties and fears.

I think I've written enough now😳😳 sorry for the angst urrrr

💗💗💗

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various crps x reader who has leg pain

Except its hyper specific to the admin and the pain is caused by staying still for too long and it gets worse with stress (as most things do)- something something excruciating leg pain that seems far worse than simply "feeling cramped from sitting for a few hours" and hits you even when youre asleep and it SUCKS!! i hate it!! i genuinely dont know if this is normal or not and im just overreacting but it hurts so so much and i hate it because i get have to get up every hour-ish

Characters: slenderman, laughing jack, nina the killer

Notes: reader is GN, not written with any condition or anything in mind, based off of admins experiences and his experience does not reflect all, admin uses all pronouns for nina, short post

CWs: edit, possible talk of horrible pain but yeah

Slenderman

Offers to take you out for a walk to help unwind your legs

i WAS going to say he offers to carry you but that defeats the purpose of getting up to work that pain out

sometimes it persists for longer, he offer to massage your legs with his tentacles- soft but firm and theyre warm so great for soothing any pains in my opinion!

very firm when trying to get you to take a break, will not take no for an answer...

he WILL interfere with your electronics if thats what youre using- though its not often because sometimes it can make it fizzle out when youre in the middle of something and you didnt save or cant save

Laughing Jack

Good news! Hes all over the place and begging for your attention, so it's likely you'll be on your feet a lot already!

yoinking this from ninas part but i do think he offers to dance with you just to get you on your feet

will swoop right in the second he notices you constantly shifting your legs around in your seat or when you start tapping your foot

feel bad for taking yourself away from your work even though its to undo some of the pain developing in your legs? jacks going to make a scenario where you need to come and help him- there! guilt eradicated for now! it'll likely be something as simple as needing help finding something!

gives you candy to try to help make you feel better, always keeps your favorite on hand

Nina the Killer

Offers to go on walks with you as well but I can also just as likely see them asking you to dance with them as they turn on some music... they're tooooootally smooth about asking you yeah totally

as a side note you both definitely make a playlist together! you also both make playlists for each other!

a lot of the music is fast and hyper, but if you dont want to dance to keep up with the beat she lets you know its okay to dance to your own tune

really just does anything to help you get on your feet if youre confined to an area for too long, makes sure you take breaks if you need to sit and work on something

master of self care when it comes to others, not so much when it comes to herself

[akaisenhatake]

okay i feel like this needs to be said more in the hphm fandom.

[ and before you're gonna come at me after reading this do know that im giving my own opinions and im not good with words too so if i said something wrong just lmk without being mean ]

so first of all, i know yall haven't been getting attention or noticed for your works and yeah honestly i get it buddy, i think almost everyone has had this happen to them at least once while staying here, and its been happening for a while now

it just sucks when you know you've spent so much time from days to weeks to get your character's profile done only for it to be eating dust, or spending sleepless nights working on an art piece or a story writing that you're proud of only for it to barely get any likes or reblogs, boy that definitely hit deep in the feels

another thing i noticed is popularity

its pretty normal to get jealous of someone who got popular for their art though, some of them started off pretty strong.

i guess what i didnt like most was how some of the people who became mutuals with the popular bloggers only to get their art but not because they like them as a person

as petty as im gonna sound now, the underrated bloggers are just gonna get pushed further and further away but no one is to be blamed for this.

but do hear me out fellow hphm bloggers

i am here to remind you that its okay to feel petty about it, its okay to feel down because your content isnt getting the attention you wanted it to have. as they always say, a human's needs are never enough, you would constantly give yourself higher expectations.

but also remember that the amount of attention you get dont always determine your talent. its hard to accept the fact people may not like reading your writings or art or edits, and that makes you think you're bad at what you're doing. but i promise you its not.

for as long as you put effort into your work, there will always be someone that appreciates it. who knows, someone might keep coming back to your blog to admire your art or read your stories to sleep, you might've even made someone's day better because of a fluff content you posted months ago. the amount of notes you get doesnt tell you how many people saw your work, because like me, im lazy to like or reblog everything i see.

so, just keep doing what you do best, dont stop putting effort into your stuff, because in the end you're mostly doing it for yourself. once you're happy and proud of it, thats what matters.

oh and another thing

do interact with each other more fellow hphm bloggers

it wont take too long to send them a compliment, or ask them about their characters, or even ask them how their day went <3

well im gonna stop here

please do reblog so the people who may need this will be able to see it. stay strong buddies

here's avery to make your day/night a little better :)

[sonderastrology]

🌙🌈✨Astrology Notes✨☄️🌟

*Based on things I’ve noticed about different placements as a Leo sun/Virgo moon/Capricorn rising... these notes may not resonate for everyone but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles baby* MADE BY SONDERASTROLOGY

🧿I see the people I’m close with more as their moon sign with a dash of their sun, almost as if the placements were reversed. This is because the moon sign is sort of hidden at first whereas the sun sign is the core energy. When you befriend or love someone, the moon sign (emotions, mental processes) is slowly uncovered and in my opinion, takes over the general energy of the sun. Of course, all signs, houses, and aspects are important... this is just the way I look at it idk.

🧿Everyone needs a best friend with the same rising sign as your moon sign... they just *get* you.

🧿Also having friends with the same mars sign as you is so important! They can hype you up like no other and vice versa.. your vibes just click.

🧿I’ve noticed that people with opposite sun signs but rising signs in the same element take AMAZING pictures together. For example; A Pisces sun w a Leo rising and a Virgo sun w a Sagittarius rising would make eachother look bomb in photos.

🧿Pisces, cancer, Virgo, and libra placements are proned to being stalked and hit on by weird men... I’ve seen it too many times, protect yourselves!!!

🧿People always tell me that they were intimidated by me at first or even “scared”, and that I give off a bitchy vibe. My placements that indicate this?Capricorn rising (Uranus, Neptune, Lilith in 1st house), Leo venus and Virgo moon in my 8th house, Scorpio MC, Scorpio and Pluto in my 11th house. Other placements that can have this effect: Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius, and Earth signs in personal planets/MC/Rising signs. Personal planets aspecting mars, Pluto, saturn, sometimes Neptune, and Lilith. Mars/Aries, Saturn/Capricorn Pluto/Scorpio in the 1st, 2nd, 7th, 10th, 11th house. 8th house placements and Chart Ruler in the 8th, 10th, and maybe 12th house. There’s definitely a whole lot more placements not just these.

🧿Aquarius/Air dominant people (esp mixed with fire) along with an array of other placements I’m sure, have a VERY hard time with forced structure and routine... it brings out their rebellious nature.My best friend from high school is an Aquarius Sun Gemini Moon (with an Aries mars), and she DESPISED going to school for 7 hours a day, she just couldn’t do it. She would skip school all the time and eventually enrolled in night school. Same went for my other friend who was a Sag sun Gemini moon, both of them would act TF out in class. They’d fight with teachers, the principle, other students... and I really believe it was due to the forced schedules and the power dynamic between teachers and students in high school. The Aquarius sun person is my best friend today, and she’s one of the smartest people I know. Just because you weren’t “good” at school does NOT mean you aren’t smart. Fuck the system is an air sign BRAND.

🧿I’ve noticed A LOT of Gemini sun, moon, and rising people have light shades of hair... mostly blonde or dirty blonde.

🧿I’ve met 4 people born on the 28th of the month and all of them are incredibly beautiful... no matter what sign. Same goes for July Leo’s although I’ve noticed that they’re more arrogant and self centered than August Leo’s who are more generous and outgoing

🧿Your Jupiter sign can help you work with law of attraction and manifestation more effectively. If you have Jupiter in an air sign, try manifesting things by; writing it down, saying it out loud, visualization, and meditation. If you have Jupiter in a fire sign; manifest under the sun, write out a plan even if it’s unrealistic. If you want money, hold even a penny or a dollar and act as if it’s the amount you want. Act as if everything you want is already yours. If you have Jupiter in an earth sign; manifest while doing yoga or on a walk. Manifest outside or read/listen to positive affirmations. Jupiter in a water sign; manifest using crystals and rocks with guidance from tarot. Manifest through the arts and hobbies; draw what you want or make a song. Something where you can use your creativity. *All of these methods for manifestation are effective for all of the signs I just think that certain ways can help certain signs more*

🧿Based off of people I’ve met, air risings aren’t as friendly and bubbly as you’d think they’d be when you first meet them. Even their vibe seems nervous and closed off at first; standing with arms crossed, shoulders inward, I dont know just sort of shy. Once they open up a bit more then their weird side comes out and they become more goofy and carefree. I think air signs of all placements struggle deeply with anxiety even though they are often portrayed as outgoing and quirky, which they are but a thin viel covers it. No matter what, air placements keep an open mind and I’ve always felt like I could be myself around them.

🧿Libra placements are known for disliking confrontational disputes but I’ve noticed that these are the same people to whisper nasty things under their breathe when you start to walk away from an argument... they have you whip back around like “do you have something to say?!”

🧿I’ve seen this before and imo it’s true! Signs in the 8th house rule addictions... I saw someone post that having a water sign in the 8th house could indicate addictions to liquid, more specifically; caffeine and alcohol. Being addicted to something is in other words creating a bond with it- water signs are naturally bonded with liquid so it makes sense that their prone to being addicted to them. Water signs occupying the 8th house might always drink water or have water with them. Since the 8th house also rules finances to an extent, most of their money might go to coffee, drinks, beach vacations etc. For fire signs over the 8th house, they could be addicted and/or spend a lot of money on smoking, spicy foods, or anything that gives them a rush; rollercoasters, haunted houses, skydiving or even drugs like esctacy/cocaine... anything that gives them that thrill or lights a match in their stomach. Earth signs in the 8th house may be addicted to physical things; money, work, food, looks,... things that give them value or that call on their senses and ego. They could hoard/collect items such as coins, cars, beauty products, etc., or generational items passed down... due to bonding with things that they can bulid/see/show off overtime. They are very attached to the physical because as an earth sign it feeds their ego and value, like a tree growing in soil. Money could mostly go to eating, gambling, plastic surgery, materialistic stuff. They could be addicted to buying things and selling them for a higher price. Air signs occupying the 8th house could point to spending a lot of money on or being addicted to technology or all things ‘relevant’. These individuals might be addicted to their phones/social media and the attention they get from it. These people are always posting stories throughout the day or online shopping or even just browsing different apps. They’re addicted to getting information via books, the internet, and through talking to other people... oftentimes these individuals are very good at making money through the internet (depending on other placements ofc). They may spend a lot of money on books, new gadgets, music, tattoos and puzzles. These people are addicted to all things new! They have a thirst for knowledge and experiences and will seek it out effectively. 🧿When I look at a person’s birth chart, whatever gender, I especially pay close attention to their Mars sign and house. To me, Mars represents the overall energy and vibe a person gives off and the house placement is where it’s most naturally acted out. For example ; Aries Mars in the 6th house. Aries Mars person would give off a hyper, motivated, impulsive energy. Physically this could manifest as shaking their leg while sitting, quick movements,standing/walking instead of sitting down, gives off a more to the point and carefree attitude (keep in mind all of this is affected by many other aspects and placements in a chart). Being in the 6th house, ruling day to day routine, health, how we act at work, etc., this means that the Aries Mars characteristics are more prominent during work and day to day rituals (quicker to learn, effectively performing daily tasks, gets shit done, or they could get into arguments at work easily, constantly rush around, might be stubborn about seeing a doctor/health professional, might be more prone to getting headaches at work or in general) again, depending on the rest of the chart

[mattsboldyy]

what are we | mat barzal

summary: y/n is caught up in her confusing relationship with mat. what is she supposed to do?

warnings: angst, fem! reader, cussing

words: 1.1k

authors note: this is my first fic that i’ve written in a while!! i hope you all enjoy <3

tagging some people <3 : @sebbyaho @nightmareonspookystreet @sydnikov @cherrybarzy @prettyboyjackhughes @2manytabsopen @kentjohnsons @joelsfarabees @calgarycanuck

the relationship between you & mat was.. weird? no.. difficult. i mean he could act like he was going to spend the rest of his life with you then his teammates post a group picture and he’s all over another girl. you knew what you were getting into with mat when you first met him. or thats what you told yourself. you would get upset over seeing him with another girl so then again, you weren’t sure you did understand. you moved to new york about a year and a half ago and you met mat 3 months after you moved in. oh and you met mat at a party. it was after him and the rest of the islanders won a big game.

you didn’t know what you and mat were. you didn’t know what to say when someone asked you if you were dating anyone.

“y/n? you okay?” your best friend, riley, asked you while waving her hand in front of your face. “yeah. sorry.” you said while straightening your posture back into the seat of the restaurant. “what’s been going on?” riley asked, “and don’t say it’s nothing either.” you sighed, “mat.” you mumbled. “what about him? y/n/n, you know you shouldn’t have gotten that attached to him. he’s a cocky hockey player. what did you really expect?” riley said. you shrugged, “i don’t know.. i guess i thought i was good enough for him to actually be able to date him.”

“dear jesus y/n. i know its hard but you’re literally one of the sweetest girl i know and if that bitch boy of a hockey player can’t see that then damn it, it’s his loss!” “i’m going to text him.” you said, picking up your phone. a few minutes past before you hit the send button.

“and send.” you sighed. “what’d you say?” riley questioned while picking up her drink and taking a sip. “hey, it’s y/n. we haven’t talked in a while. i was wondering if you would like to meet sometime this week. just let me know when are where. see you soon.” you read from the illuminated phone screen. “that sounds good. just let me know what he says back. anyway, i got to get going.” riley said while grabbing her bag and getting up as you do the same. “bye girlie! love you!” riley gushed as she hugged you. “love you too!”

a few hours later after dinner, you were back at home and you were constantly checking your phone. you were anxiously waiting for the star nhl player to respond to your text. you were about to just forget about everything when you heard a text come through to your phone. you eagerly picked up your phone to see it was from mat. it read ‘hey. for sure, i’m free tomorrow night if that works for you?’

you’re heart rate began to pick up for some reason. ‘yeah. that works. see you then.’ you typed out. you put your phone back on your desk and put your head in your hands. what were you gonna wear? should you wear a more casual outfit or a fancy one? “y/n. just stop.” you mumbled to yourself as you picked you and your phone up from the desk. you called riley and told her everything. now to just wait.

-

“good luck babe!” riley said through facetime. “yeah thanks..” you mumbled while checking your outfit in the mirror. you were wearing some light blue mom jeans with a black shirt, barely cropped and white nikes. “okay ry, gotta go. love you.” you pressed the red button to hang up. you took one last look in the mirror before grabbing your purse, and walking out the front door to your car. you started your drive to the restaurant. you wondered why mat was so quick to say he would go. without asking any questions. i dont know, maybe you were just overthinking it.

while trying to find a place to park, you saw mat’s car. the nerves got a little worse. you found a place to park, got out of your car, and walked into the restaurant. “are you with mat?” one of the restaurant employees asked you. “yep!” you said, looking around the restaurant. “okay follow me please.”

you started to follow the waitress to the table. you rounded the corner and saw mat, sitting there, on his phone. you’re palms started getting sweaty. ‘calm down. calm down.’ you thought to yourself as you got to the table. he looked up and put his phone down, giving you a little smile. you sat down, ordered a drink and looked across the table. “hey y/n.” mat said. “hey.” you said, slightly smiling while looking at the wall awkwardly. ‘y/n, fucking talk to him.’ you thought as you sat back up in your seat. “so anyway, i wanted to talk.” you said while looking straight at mat, making full eye contact. “okay. is everything okay?” he hesitated. “yeah. but uhm,” a few seconds went by before you started talking again. “what are we?” mat scoffed. “us?” “yeah. us.” you stated, getting a little irritated by the way he was acting. “y/n there is no us. we hooked up a few times, went on a few dates, but thats it.” mat shrugged. you felt tears build up in your eyes but decided to ignore them. “mat what the hell? you literally told me you loved me? does saying i love you to someone mean nothing to you?” mat rolled his eyes. “when did i ever say i loved-“ you cut him off “march 3” you said with your arms crossed. mat continued on about how you and him, were nothing. you felt like another girl that failed to date a nhl player. not that you were just going for nhl players it was just.. you really did like mat for mat.

you stood up, digging in your purse for $20 to leave at the table not wanted to stay here any longer.

“where are you going?” mat asked. “i’m leaving. we hooked up a few times, went on a few dates but that doesnt mean anything.. remember? why should i stay with an ass like you anyway.” you said while slamming the money on the table and almost running out of the restaurant.

when you got to your car, you broke down in tears, immediately driving to riley’s apartment while needed some best friend advice. you knew mat. but apparently not anymore.

[grapesodatozier]

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.