#my mutuals will know I’m super passive about most things because I hate confrontation but I just think this is unfair

[cuntycassandra]

People who are censoring Emma Corrin at the Nosferatu premieres are the worst!

I’m not going to comment this on the Instagram post I’m referring to, because I’m not going to instigate anything hostile on that platform specifically because it’s not worth it, but to whoever you are, you’re so frustrating.

For anyone confused, here is what Emma wore to the Nosferatu premiere in London a few nights ago. A gorgeous Victorian-nightgown esque dress that compliments the one they’re seen wearing in the trailer. (Also their makeup was chefs kiss, 10/10, no notes.)

Today I was just checking my Instagram, and I came across an account that decided it was up to them to dictate how this wonderful actor was perceived on the red carpet…for a film they play an important role in…

First of all, what on earth is this? In the world we live in, in the situation the western political scale is falling right now, do you seriously deem it appropriate for you to pick and choose how this person is allowed to be perceived on a red carpet event for a movie they worked hard on??

Do you seriously think it’s appropriate for you to censor someone’s body, which is their form of expression and statement, because of a personal, borderline outdated, opinion? If Emma’s style choice is not to your taste (which is a bigoted take anyway because a quick scroll will show you the shirtless Bill photos on this account, so wonderful, you’re just ignorant), then…crop Emma out if that’s something you don’t want on your blog? Like I’m sorry there is absolutely no need for this. It’s so, so, so disrespectful.

I completely understand that this account belongs to a person, and they are within their right to decide what they do or don’t want on their blog (even if I disagree), HOWEVER, there are ways to do it without being deemed oppressive, condescending and bigoted. Cropping Emma out removes them from the focal point, again something I don’t agree with, but it doesn’t shove negative attention onto their choices either. Highlighting it with an ugly photoshop is not only rude, but actually insulting, and seems as though you’re purposefully forcing Emma’s look into the spotlight.

Let’s zoom in on that comment a little more, as well.

‘With a little help from me to Emma Corrin’ a condescending insinuation that you think they need your help, in need of your assistance, which immediately puts them below you. When, if I recall correctly, this is Emma’s livelihood and daily job. They seem to be quite well versed in how to rock a red carpet.

‘Just disrespectful 😒’ - how so, to who and to what? Just say you feed into the over sexualisation of breasts and go. Be honest about your bigoted view, don’t sugarcoat it with the essence that you’re ’doing them a favour’. Nobody else at the premiere seemed bothered, everyone was happy and taking photos and there wasn’t a hint of awkwardness to pick up on.

The second photo was at the Berlin premiere, but shows equally, if not more, nipple. (Which weirdly the poster I’m referring to had no issue with that outfit, but the London one? 🤔

Oh and also? Don’t put Emma’s name in the hashtags if you’re so damn scandalised by their attire.

And before anyone comes for me with ‘you’re overreacting’ or ‘it’s not that deep, don’t freak out’, it actually is that deep. This is disrespectful at best and hateful and oppressive at worst, even if the original poster didn’t intend it that way. It’s essentially saying ‘I’m taking away your self expression because it doesn’t fit with I deem acceptable for someone with breasts’.

In this vile world where women/afab trans people in general are consistently being oppressed, ordered around, abused and more, seeing someone be blatantly so rude like this is just…gross, especially around such an anticipated movie and with a wonderful cast. Please try and do better in the future, there’s no need for this.

Also. Here’s those shirtless photos of Bill, in case anyone wanted evidence of that. (Who is also slaying may I say!)

[eventual-ghoste]

TOG rambling

Hello! This post has to do with Andy and some revelations at the end of Force Multiplied. Spoilers I give aren’t super specific but they’re there, and I can’t promise they won’t bite.

This is also in response to a TOG discord question I couldn’t stop thinking about, regarding Andy’s history as compared to Nicky’s, as posited by Em | salzundhonig:

But Nicky's past as a crusader and his growth from his past was well received, surely that'll be the same with Andy right?

I apologize if these ramblings sound like a rant but I swear my intentions are in the spirit of debate/discourse, and they are not an attack on any individuals.

The TL;DR is: Andy has work to do. Hopefully Hollywood and Rucka don’t fuck that up.

Feel free to check/correct/call me out if I’ve misspoke anywhere here (I realize I still have a lot to learn) but IMHO, I don’t think a semblance of Andy’s growth will be well received. Or, at least, I’m not so certain it should be because, in the comics, I genuinely don’t think Andy has grown. At the end of Force Multiplied, she still defends her actions with the “this is how I grew up” argument, and says it was “a long time ago,” and as much as I love love LOVE Andromache the Scythian for her badassery and how she’s a vision of female empowerment, I can’t help but think about how I hear those words all the time from people defending themselves against racist and/or sexist comments from so-called bygone eras.

Wanna know a sad difference between those people and our beloved Andy? They apologize for what they’ve done, or who they were. As hollow as the words will sound, however unforgivable their actions, however self-serving the apology will be— Those Asshats apologize. Comic!Andy never does, not even when confronted by Nile, an African American woman who likely descends from slaves, and has undoubtedly experienced racism and discrimination on a regular basis. It’s been thousands of years and Andy doesn’t even know how to say sorry (if she ever does, kudos to whoever finds a timestamp/panel, and let me know!). Instead, Andy buries the truth of her actions with a load of justifications to the point that she becomes self-deprecating, calling herself “vermin,” concluding she’s no better than the apathetic, selfish, evil POS they hunt. She may have spent the past millennia with TOG, trying to make things right but then—

But then she gives up. She’s tired. She resigns because she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight the injustice she once willingly and self-servingly participated in. So, on top of being incapable of apology, Andy also doesn’t vow to do better. She doesn’t accede to change.

If there is one reason for why “The Old Guard” is a fucking absolutely shitty title, is that it refers to people who refuse to accept new ideas and progress. We are in a fandom that has four canonically queer characters, three people of color, and two female leads! Maybe the irony is intentional but damn, why is it that Andy, PROTAGONIST #1, hasn’t completely caught up with the program?

And that brings me to why I think Andy’s reckoning will not be on the same level as Nicky’s. Because as popular as Kaysanova is, neither Nicky or Joe are the main protagonists of TOG.

We don’t follow Nicky or Joe (or Booker) into scenes. The men are strictly back-at-the-ranch, supporting characters. We follow Andy or Nile (who also have the most screen time, I believe, but fact-check me). Filmically speaking, we ought to value them with a measure of precedence. Their words and actions matter the most, especially Andy’s by nature of how everyone looks to her for guidance.

So, with all that in mind: How does one reconcile a beloved protagonist with a despicable past in slavery, of all things? In the wake of an international racial reckoning, how is a celebrated, white South African actress going to fulfill that role? How is production going to balance fantasy with reality? How are Rucka and other involved writers (Theron, Prince-Bythewood?) going to alter the original IP, while retaining the nuance of this moral quandry?

Forgive me for the overkill but: How is it going to happen?

I’m well aware that my thoughts are going down a rabbit hole, and I am definitely overthinking this, but as somebody who’s genuinely curious about whether Victoria Mahoney and the rest of the TOG crew will have the guts to confront the issue head-on, or if they’ll take the easy way out. Excise the bits that no one wants to talk about, much less watch in a feel-good film that TOG has become for many fans.

Whatever production ends up doing, I hope that 2O2G doesn’t end on a cliffhanging “pity Andromache” note because, damn, I’m gonna feel real uncomfortable scrolling through fandom posts, reading people defending slavery and giving the same “the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there” spiel, in order to protect a fictional character played by a conventionally-attractive cis heterosexual white woman.

(Also: If the past is so different from the present, why are there still calls for social justice? Why do ALL industries still lack diverse and equitable representation?)

Now, this is where I’ll go back to the original question and say: While I think Nicky functions well as an example for change/growth/redemption, I don’t think his change serves as a good comparison to Andy’s. I say this, even while I’m aware of double standards in gender, and even between the reception of gay characters vs lesbian characters vs etc. (re: I’m open to critique).

My line of thought stems from the fact that, canonically, Nicky always had Joe. The two have seemingly been inseparable from the moment they first killed each other. It’s likely that Joe would check Nicky whenever he said or did something wrong and offensive, and perhaps this symbiosis was mutual.

(I also have a feeling that many people easily disregarded the Christian/Muslim conflict because A) lack of knowledge in BOTH religions and B) the onscreen couple appear very much in love, especially when one is giving a beautiful monologue on the nature of their relationship. When we meet Joe and Nicky, we meet them at their best. Shout-out to interfaith couples who know more about this than my single (and secular) ass does, and might have more to say about this.)

On the other hand: Andy never had someone who was like how Joe was for Nicky. No one ever calls out Andy because A) she’s the oldest, B) she’s the lead, and C) her business card says ANDROMACHE OF SCYTHIA, WAR GOD. Yeah, she had Quynh/Noriko but— at the risk of yelling at Rucka for vilifying a queer woman of color (or praising him for not leaning on the stereotype of Asian passivity? idk, anyone got thoughts on this?)— Noriko is clearly not encouraging good behavior. Neither will Quynh if Netflix lets 2O2G be as faithful to the comics as TOG1 was.

Which means the Law 282 conversation might be…unavoidable? Somewhere along the line, we still end up in the hotel room with Andy, on the floor, pleading for her crew to not abandon her, even though she is the one who abandoned their cause.

This sets up a circumstance in which Fade Away might be spent trying to redeem Andy/Charlize Theron, bring her back to the “good side,” teaching her to be better— thereby highlighting her experience and “salvation,” rather than making a point of her past, and the reality of her actions. In other words, a “pity the white woman” fest.

(Because I’m crossing my fingers that TOG production/Netflix know better) In an effort to prevent that from happening, I wonder if Rucka will combine Force Multiplied with Fade Away for the 2O2G script. Given the series’ track record, I think it is feasible that FA’s release coincides with 2O2G’s, and that it finally resolves Andy. Whether by revitalizing her energy as a do-some-gooder, or finalizing her vulnerability by putting her 6,000 years to rest, thus handing off the reigns to Nile and a new generation of leadership.

The last thing I want to leave off with is: I don’t hate Andy. It’s a credit to Rucka and fellow writers (from film and fandom) that I don’t.

I might not love her character as enthusiastically as I used to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not amazed by her creation. She’s a female lead whose sexuality is not exploited by the male gaze; whose emotional vulnerability is not considered a hindrance to, nor an explanation for, her battle prowess; and whose unabashed queerness is not reinforced by cookie cutter stereotypes. Andromache the Scythian is AMAZING.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to excuse or ignore her most glaring and contemptible flaw. More than anything, I’d love to sweep her past under the carpet so that 2O2G can be problem-free. Like many people, I just want to enjoy a movie without getting triggered.

I want to see Quynh and Andy kiss and make up. I want to see Joe rocking Those Shorts, and a cheeky shot of Nicky appreciating his ass. I want to see Nile welcoming Booker back to the family again. Some form of group therapy would be chef’s kiss.

But something about glossing over/removing slavery from Andy’s narrative reeks of dishonesty, and reminds me that the (Hollywood) movie industry is full of people who do not want to be tainted with negative perceptions. Understandably, appearances are their livelihood— but that particular truth is something they still have to reckon with.

[2p-stuff-because-i-miss-them]

2p Russia boyfriend headcanons?

Yay, I luv my toll long nose boi

Lets say Viktor was being a little too cautious

You met at in an alleyway

Not sure what business EITHER of you had there but boy was Viktor not enjoying the awkward slow walk you two were taking to approach each other

I mean all you had to do was cross paths but lets see-

In your eyes Viktor is a 6’10 man whose relatively fit but mostly just thicc in a black trench coat with bags under piercing (and menacing) red eyes walking to you ever so slowly without breaking eye contact

On the other hand Viktors just a tall awkward beanstalk slowly trying to analyze your next choice of movement because he would rather be struck by the hand of God than accidentally choose the same different path as you and be stuck in a never ending loop of “oh I’ll just go this way- I mean this way- okay I’ll go right you go left- nO NOT THAT LEFT-”

At this point you felt the need to make some fast decision making “I’ll just move over to the right” you thought

Unfortunately, so did he

You were like “Yeah I’m prolly abt to get kidnapped” so you turn around to take a longer way to wherever the hell you were going, and Viktor almost started dancing with glee that he didn’t have to make that awkward human interaction, and he’d never see you again

Incorrect, once again you both just kept seeing each other, everywhere and this is where the plot thickens because after seeing each other over and over (+Viktors silent intense staring) You both conclude: “Oh...I’m being stalked…”

Yikes

So you both naturally try to figure out the other person (ofc, brilliant) and see what they want from you both

After about a week of high anxiety and paranoia it was you who decided to confront Viktor first and he was shook to his core.

It was in a library that he always “follows” you into, and just as he was sitting down at a small table to possibly enjoy his coffee in peace (and of course observing the premises to see where you were watching him) you slammed your hands down on the table and dear lord-

Viktor was so shook that he almost just splashed that piping coffee in your face, and you weren’t necessarily expecting to be so aggressive but heh, here we are in the future-

And so began the confrontation, you started off with the ally way till now, threatened to call the police, all of that good stuff and by the end of it Viktor was just like OJo.

He sort of panicked because now he was confused you thought he was stalking you? How much time do you think he has to waste on some rando. (Viktor you literally just thought the same thing-). So you argued.

And argued, 

And argued

Until you both finally realized that there was a huge misunderstanding and awkwardly uwu’d (uJu’d) apologies, nerds.

Viktor was about ready to leave and die from embarrassment however you decided to keep conversation. And you liked each others company, so you kept in touch

Viktor doesn’t really check his phone so you had to visit often. You guys bonded over semi unpopular topics every 3 weeks

then every week

Then every other day

Then maybe twice a day

After 1 month of feeling catching Viktor decided to wait an eternity (6 months) before asking you out just to make absolutely sure 

And boy when you started dating weren’t you close as hecc.

He kind of immediately wanted you to move in but he also hated that idea with a fiery passion

Because on one hand he wants to take care of you and be able to share each other's lifestyle together. On the other hand you just started dating and what if you decide to break it off after the 1st week, but you're all in his house now E W.

It takes him like 2 months before he’s truly comfortable in the relationship, he knows theres supposed to be an element of mutual trust but he’s so a n x i o u s

He does the most adorable things around you.

He’ll be like cooking dinner in a cute pink apron 

Or knitting a small hat for you

Or completely demolishing a gallon of vodka alone in his dark and cold room-

he's a gem cutter and jewelry maker so he’ll ask you to help him find precious stones and get your opinion on jewelry designs

He iCE SKATES AND BALLET DANCES PLZ GO TO HIS RECITALS AND SHOWS BECAUSE HE’LL NEVER TELL YOU ABT IT OTHER WISE 

Be gentle with him because he gets defensive if someone so much as drops a hint of a passive aggressive attitude towards him

But he’s passive aggressive all the damn time I-

He’ll easily tell you if somethings wrong, there will be no hints, just “s t o p”

He doesn’t rlly know how to be super romantic but he loves doing it so much and he’s trying his damn best

          ^“Viktor…why is there crumpled up trash all over the ground?”

            deafening silence

            “Viktor-”

            “They’re rose petals…”

            “Vitya…..these aren’t rose petals….”

            “I needed an alternative”

            “Painting pieces of newspaper red was your best alternative?”

            “Y      e     s”

            “W       h      y”

He uses you as a pillow for most things, and refuses to seek an alternative

If you’re in his way he’ll roll you over or lift you lol

He’s definitely paying for all of your everything and anything you want IN REASON

Hell wear super short shorts when it gets too hot and you best be taking advantage over those long luxurious legs-

          ^ Viktor: What are you doing?....stop, LEAVE ME ALONE-

            s/o: THICC audible smaccing

;)

He loves you lots plz take care of him

sorry this took so long anon I have many asks

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Fated to Love You here reaffirming my long held conviction that no pure romance drama should be 20+ episodes.

This show is... really something. It is, in the fullest possible sense, A Lot. It starts out as an all-out screwball comedy wrapped around a troperiffic romance fluff plot. Wall to wall clichés, but not in a bad way; in a meta, self-aware, peak performance, finest Velveeta way. And if you’re not familiar with screwball comedy, think ‘light-hearted crack fic with slapstick and farce’. There is nothing believable or grounded about any aspect of it, it starts at Bonkers Level: Platinum and it only climbs higher as it goes on.

(On a side note, this results in the leading man being possibly the most memorable love interest in romcom history. His introduction scene is nothing short of batshit insane and you can't reliably predict how he will respond to anything. I have never seen a main character like this, he is all over the shop and utterly singular. Your first reaction to him is ‘wtf?’, your second and third reactions are ‘really?! this guy??’, your fourth reaction is ‘okay he do be mad hot tho’, your fifth and final reaction is ‘I cannot believe this performance exists, I have no idea what he is doing, but it is amazing.’

Appropriately(?) the actor who plays him is an uncanny Korean doppelgänger of Johnny Depp and- between the resemblance, the mannerisms, and the fearless total commitment to a bold as fuck acting choice with the very serious chops to back it up- I’m not convinced they aren’t half brothers separated at birth.

They do sabotage my happiness several times by starting to randomly style his (long, beautiful) hair very weird, fixing it right when the plot is rapidly circling the drain so he looks his hottest just as the show becomes briefly unwatchable, and then ruining him for the entire second half of the series by shearing it all off. WHY, my anguished cry goes up. Why do you do this?! Why does he have like seven hairstyles over the course of the show? Much later they even briefly give him that ubiquitous Kdrama Second Lead haircut with weirdly forward combed fringe in a solid straight line across the brow all the way back from the crown. It looks terrible on everyone and I hate it so much. This version was less bad than most but it is still bad. Anyway.)

So it’s an incredibly fun time to start but there are some problems with the tone and plot even in the first 9 episodes, including when the lovers start getting along really well right away and they’re both thoroughly decent people so there’s nothing keeping them from having a lovely time together making the best of the circumstances (forced/fake marriage). And, instead of introducing new conflict or advancing one of the dozen conflicts previously established and actually moving forward, there is a painfully contrived rehash of something they already dealt with which is then just never resolved. They make the hero leap to a conclusion his wife is nefarious after he’d already decided once that she isn’t (though it was completely reasonable for him to think she was- the fact that he decided to trust her so quickly just speaks to what kind of person he is), never try to find out more or talk to anyone about it, start pushing her away because of it, and have all this come to absolutely nothing. It only exists so he’ll stop being so incredibly nice to her and they won’t fall in love too fast.

You’d think they would have to eventually clear the air before the romance advances right? No. It wasn’t a real plot point, it was just a reset button to get them estranged and hostile again after they connect over their kindred spirits and we’ve spent a bunch of time showing how profoundly supportive and honourable our hero is. He’s being beautifully mature and selfless because he’s a really good dude (unusual for a romcom drama, right? for the main guy to be nice and considerate? to accept responsibility even if he doesn’t have to? Gun’s weird but he’s wonderful), but the writers need him to be cold and standoffish, so they just make him act like an unreasonable idiot for a while. He’s been thus far hugely proactive and direct and honest about everything, it’s one of his most prominent character traits, but suddenly he’s going to avoid confrontation in favour of being super passive aggressive?? Then the writers never solve it. Never! It just goes away. He got over it, I guess? He decided he doesn’t care if she’s a gold digger who deliberately trapped him? God forbid we have motivations that make sense and organic character drama, right? It's not like he didn't have totally valid reasons to be suspicious that could have led to legitimate conflict our heroine would struggle to vindicate herself from.

But anyway, apart from that kind of lazy bullshit, it’s a fine romance plot with extremely endearing characters who have great chemistry. They are fun and well-rounded and incredibly human despite all the silliness and OTT antics. Their relationship is hugely, hugely engaging and the dynamic is perfect, they really complement each other as characters and organically drive each other's arcs. There's the genuine depth and warmth and quiet pathos so often lacking from this kind of show. Things progress at a semi-reasonable pace. They work up to confessing their mutual feelings and get into some cute shenanigans before making out. It happens soon enough that you are not frustrated, but there's still plenty of build-up. Then- uh oh! We’re only 9 eps in and we have another 11 hours to fill with this fluffy plot!

Time for a bunch of absolute fucking nonsense. Time for our show, which has been so goofy and removed from reality it occasionally resembles a Monty Python skit, which has been so light it asks you to ignore the frankly incredibly fucked up implications of its premise for the sake of comedy (they were both drugged and proxy raped resulting in a pregnancy- the FL was a virgin prior to this and Gun had a girlfriend he wanted to propose to- and it was the FL’s family who did this to them: SUPER FUCKED UP), so farcical that it makes Some Like it Hot look like a gritty crime drama, that show to cover a bunch of serious heavy shit.

First, the rankest of melodrama. The families and the world all turn on our couple, but their love is true and will conquer all- UNTIL, he randomly collapses and gets convenient Soap Opera Amnesia. He’s forgotten their entire relationship and a series of coincidental pieces of misconstrued evidence, the machinations of his scheming ex girlfriend, the Soap Opera Doctor’s advice, and his closest confidants all going along with this conspire to make him believe (AGAIN) that his wife just wants his money.

This whole terrible episode is mercifully brief, but it just gets worse after his memory returns. This is where we get into the Noble Idiocy. The ‘pretend you don’t love them to “save them” from getting hurt by hurting them and making their important life decisions for them as if they don’t have a basic fucking right to decide that themselves’ kind. Which goes on for three FUCK years in the show. He wastes three years of their lives they could have spent together because he’s worried he might die young (in a terrible way) and doesn’t want to put her through that. And, of course, they inevitably get together later, so all he did was make it infinitely worse for her either way. To say nothing of how he thus couldn’t be there for her through the loss of their child. Possibly my most hated fucking trope of all time when done this way.

And, yep, you read that right. This show that has the single most batshit bonkers over the top slapstick I have ever seen in a kdrama, this show has a storyline where the fluffy romcom trope accidental pregnancy ends in massive trauma. Because she was standing around in the street after realising he does remember her (he continued to pretend he had amnesia after his memories came back, it’s all part of the stupid noble idiocy so I glossed over it) and gets hit by a car in the middle of their angst staring.

It is nearly Meet Joe Black levels of hilariously abrupt and incongruous.

so, blah blah, they lose their baby (there’s a very stupid whole thing about her telling everyone to save the baby instead of her- the baby is not far enough along for this to have been remotely viable. She is like 3 months pregnant. They all act like there’s a choice to be made between them and she’s mad at her husband for choosing to save her, but there was NO CHOICE. Either she lives or they both die! ffs I’m so irritated about this) and then he dumps her ~for her own good~~ because he loves her too much to make her go through losing him? So she loses him sooner?? right after their baby died???

Why do people in these stories always think being betrayed and abandoned for no reason and being incredibly angry at someone you love while also not getting to be with them is somehow less painful than making the best of your life together and then losing them against their will? ‘I will make her hate me and then she won’t be sad we broke up/I died!!!!’ is such a fucking galaxy brain take and I despise it with the heat of ten thousand suns. Fuck you, Spider-Man. You aren’t protecting anyone, the villains still know you love MJ and will still use her against you, you clod. Emotionally torturing the person you love is not going to make them not a target because the villains are not as fucking stupid as you two. Anyway.

Amnesia was right where I started fast-forwarding and skipping around (because I couldn’t bear it), but it only goes downhill from there. Maybe I would have toughed out more of the wretched middle part plot twist if they hadn’t cut all the hot guy’s hair off. If I’m going to watch total nonsense tedious melodrama, I need it to at least be pretty. I understand it was a Symbolic Haircut but damnit! Let me have this!

And it ultimately does the thing that kdramas seem obsessed with and which makes me want to claw out my own eyeballs with frustration. There’s a giant time skip, the female lead gets a personality transplant, all narrative momentum is lost, and the characters who eventually (at ENORMOUS length) get together permanently are essentially completely different characters with a completely different dynamic than the couple you were shipping for 90% of the story. It is so FUCKING unsatisfying and it is EVERYWHERE.

Not so much with this one because this one still had a lot of very romantic scenes late in the game, but most that do this, it’s also like all the romance is sucked out of the post-time skip episodes and the ending is a consolation prize instead of a triumphant culmination. Inevitably, the heroine abruptly cools off and is suddenly wary of the hero and wants this Important New Career she never mentioned until the penultimate episode but is now her one true life’s dream. What the apparently irresistible appeal is of these contrived separations and demure conclusions is I CANNOT FATHOM. I’m here for the fucking romance guys, you have not made Citizen Kane, please just indulge me with a big schmoopy finale.

And if not that, it’s frequently that there’s been so many random mood swings and so much shitty behaviour by the end that the relationship doesn’t make sense and you don’t know why they even bother to get back together.

I’m not inherently against all misunderstandings (they are the bread and butter of low stakes romance let’s be real) or attempts at noble idiocy from misguided characters, but the duration and seriousness of the drama these generate needs to be in proportion to how ridiculous they are. If your entire plot can be solved by a thirty second conversation there is NO REASON not to have and the continuation of the misunderstanding is a result of someone just NOT SPEAKING UP when any functional human being would have spoken up seven times by now IT’S BAD.

Do little cliff-hangers, whatever, but don’t draaaaagg out silly misconceptions into Shakespearean tragedy, it’s just wearying. It makes me hate the characters for acting like emotionally constipated toddlers with terminal stupidity. If there is so little trust, so little understanding, and so little basic patience between these people, they probably shouldn’t be dating, so try fucking harder, writers. And noble idiocy that is more than an impulse they fairly quickly see the error of is just insulting. You are not helping the other person, you are being domineering and selfish. I have a whole complex about wasting time and seeing endless parades of characters flushing years down the toilet for literally no reason gives me hives. Especially when the whole issue is about time!

(And, btw, so much of the plot is about how desperately the family needs an heir and everyone still wanting them to have kids the second time they get together- while the ~dilemma used to keep them apart is a GENETIC DISEASE which could STRIKE AT ANY TIME. Do you SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS WRITERS????? NO, I KNOW YOU DON’T. ommmmmmmmggggg that’s awful! So they’re just dooming more kids to Soap Opera Brain Disease? And maybe growing up without a father just as Gun did? And no one even considers suggesting adoption??? He never considers that he shouldn’t have biological children despite thinking he shouldn’t have a wife?)

ANYWAY. Please do watch the first nine episodes and the last three, it’s bananas. They are cute as fuck, Gun is The Best, and the tropey romance scenes are top quality. You don't get those things executed so well, it doesn't happen, so you need this in your life. The acting is of a calibre you never usually see in modern romcoms; these are people at the top of their game committing utterly and taking these characters completely seriously. In that way it is pure wish fulfilment for me as someone who loves romance and is almost always disappointed by popular romance media, and thus the show is incalculably special. But skip the middle. Just skip it. It's not worth the suffering. I find the tone whiplash honestly just this side of crass.

I’ve been thinking about it for over a week and I truly love the main characters so it did plenty right, but I just cannot with wedding the two things this show is trying to be together, especially when it goes so hard in two mutually exclusive directions. but also the Meet Joe Black sudden car accident device is not redeemable under any circumstances. Can we never do that again, please.

[092219archive]

i’ve been watching ffxiv cutscenes for the main story (pushing thru heavensward right now) and i’ve been thinking of stuff for my wol lately so i guess now’s a good time to introduce them a bit :-)

here’s a link to the og meme: Self Insert Development Meme

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

wol’s currently nameless... i can’t use with the usual “eren” as per the naming conventions of each ffxiv race (i will use wol!eren to indicate, well, My WoL). maybe if i wanted them to be a hyur i’d be able to, but i’ve been hopping back and forth between aura (raen) or viera (veena)...

edit (8/4): i keep forgetting to update this lmfao,, but my wol’s name is momo and they’re an aura (raen)!

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

there’s only maybe one person who’s aware of the character(s) that i’m maybe. MAYBE. maybe. looking at (eros Do Not Interact). no names as i refuse to acknowledge/perceive them in any manner.

but, the relationship’s still in the works,, i’m thinking it’s a lot of it’s gonna have to focus on positions of power/hierarchies... maybe a bit of slowburn... for spice.

i feel like any rom relationship i could build might. be slow burn. oops!

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

in terms of story, i think wol!eren’s really close to alphinaud; i get familial vibes from him (and actual wol spends a very large chunk of time with him as well)... but personally, i’m thinking estinien. yea he’s a bit of an asshat but he’s cool (but ig that makes wol!eren a bit of an asshat too)

when it comes to who wol!eren’s not close with... honestly, anyone that abuses their position of power for selfish and harmful reasons at the expense of people go on the hit list. but even then, if the character’s one of the main characters/shown often then it’s like... i’d have to think about it a little more. happens a lot

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

hmm much like my other s/is, wol!eren delves on their past often despite their preaching of looking forward. a hypocrite they are!! (/s) a lot of my self ships also delve on like. “same hat” so... honestly they’re just kinda going with the flow and walking wherever they feel is an easy path. they’re a pretty passive person despite the role they’ve been given.

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if they're evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?

as per the narrative, they were chosen by hydaelyn and have the echo. however, they’re also extremely perceptive. they can typically tell whether someone has good intentions or not. the issue is that it’s always a feeling and they usually don’t have anything to prove their claims. as a result, they rarely say anything about it. it's not really a “power” but it can certainly be helpful.

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

i plan on wol!eren being a summoner! or maybe not exactly a summoner, but something to do with magic being used offensively. they hate getting their hands dirty so they’ll just blow you up instead.

they mainly fight because it’s their duty/obligation to fight, but had they not been in the position they were, they’d have sooner leave combat and live off the grid. nobody really knows this because they never voice it -- it also wouldn’t be good for a warrior of light to say “yea i hate my job and i don’t really care about some of you”, you know?

(7/18) edit: with the help of my ffxiv mutuals, i’ve decided to make wol!eren a black mage :) it’s definitely fitting for their character.

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?

REALLY DARK CLOTHING. if they show any skin when they don’t have to, they’ll Perish. i intend for them to wear the void ark clothing for magic users but much like everything else, that’s subject to change. clothing that’s aesthetically pleasing and easy on the eyes is good.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

literally the protagonist but very much desires to be a side character. because they like playing a supporting role more than the main role, they live in “anonymity.” kinda. it’s just hard when the group you’re apart of and gods?? know literally just about everything you’ve been doing.

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?

they will. eat just about anything they’re given, even if the food’s not super great (like a raccoon.....). they don’t really have any particular favorites and if they do, it’s likely to be meat or basic, easy-to-make dishes.

just anything that’s dark/muted. color colors (blues, purples, etc.) are their favorite.

they very much enjoy doing absolutely nothing, especially now that they’re so busy with working. if they’re free from work even if it’s just for a few seconds, you will find them sleeping. Lazy

if they like something, they’d never say it out right. extremely private and closed off person, so unless you’re really close with them, you’d never know if they truly liked something.

10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?

literally just anything that inconveniences them. they want things to run smoothly so they don’t have to deal with anything they don’t have to. when something arises that stops them from fulfilling their duties, they’re get irritated. they also just, not the biggest fan of people and socializing.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?

they’re easily prone to negative emotions, but it’s not “major/serious” since they’re mostly out of touch with their emotions anyhow. if it gets really bad, they kinda “shut down.”

one way to get under their skin is confront them about personal matters, but you can cheer them up if you have a good sense of humor! alphinaud’s helped with that, albeit unintentionally more often than not.

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

i think i did mention earlier that wol!eren really doesn’t like crowds. it takes them a very long time to genuinely consider someone as a friend. sometimes they might not even acknowledge someone even if said person tries their hardest to befriend them. and there’s not really a type of person who they’re really “uncomfortable” with (spoilers they’re always uncomfortable with everything asjfhsd), but i guess if i had to answer, it’s just anybody with potentially harmful intentions?

they have. Trust Issues™, if you will.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

in the past, they wanted to live a comfortable life as a recluse where they can do things without the eyes of others watching... and they still do, but now they’re too accustomed by the presence of people to truly achieve that. after their duties as a wol (if they’re ever completed honestly), they’d probably pull a cloud final fantasy and start a delivery service or something like that LOL

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

sssomething like that? so far i’m thinking they come from a family of arooound 5. 2 siblings + parents. they have a younger sibling who’s a miqo bard mercenary and an older elezen (?) astrologian currently working somewhere in ishgard. debating on who their parents are but all of them were kinda... “picked up” and put into a family.

the “parental figures” were desperate to have a family but they had little knowledge of how to care for children. needless to say, the environment was not one to flourish in.

miqo brd is kinda like robin hood where he steals from the upper class to give to the poor because he refuses to allow people who’re in need suffer due to a lack of resources. on the other hand, the ast is the elezen who wants nothing but peace. the downside is that he’s very aggressive with his ideals and follows people like the archbishop, thordan.

edit (7/18): wol!eren wasn’t tied to their family biologically, but due to their questionable actions and words, they cut ties with their family and started traveling alone. it was extremely difficult but because they didn’t stay in confines of their own home, they were able to meet the scions and the not.

alphinaud and alisaie are like their siblings. they share a surprisingly a deep, unspoken familial bond with the three because of all the adventures they went on together. wol!eren’s been caught acting like an older sibling to the two.

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

much like the actual in-game wol, i’d imagine that anybody that wants to stop the wol in their tracks are considered “enemies.” i haven’t gotten that far into ffxiv to really name characters though,, tba.....

16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!

if ur into ffxiv and u’ve gotten this far down... thank u :) and talk to me abt ur wols or ur ffxiv faves in my inbox maybe?? 👀

[lilmajorshawty]

WHAT TURNS YOU ON?🥀🕊

* Mars in the 1st/Mars in Aries: (men) you like submissive women and or men and someone whom you can dominate and conquer. The quickest way to arouse these males is by power plays. They like the idea of being challenged and sassed and “fought” so to speak they want to duke it out before they win the fight and an easy won fight can turn them off. So they tend to be drawn to the idea of earned submission from their partners. (Women) can be drawn to dominate and passionate men and like the idea of being conquered and tamed(seeing as how these women tend to be a force of nature) and usually they like the idea of “forced submission"The hair is a hotspot and hair pulling can be a common occurrence sexually here. Rough sex is a commonality and most people link mars in Scorpio to animalistic sex and I would say that’s more Aries mars natives.

* Mars in the 2nd/mars in Taurus(men) ideally these men love flesh they love the sensation of skin on skin and love and even romanticize the tender aspect of love making. They are usually aroused by their senses and tend to be easily aroused by “massages” and “rubbing” so to speak. You feel up on them in the right way(sensually) and you’ll have them going. Both guys and gals here tend to love a lot of touch in sex and need it to stay aroused. Women here are no different from the male counter parts and usually enjoy sensual stimulation and slow lovemaking. Both tend to hate being rushed no matter what house mars is resting in.

* Mars in the 3rd/mars in Gemini: “talk to me dirty” these males and females tend to be aroused by “communication” and anything they can visually and audio-bly witness. The enjoy sexting/nudes and sexual talk over the phone and in person. They have to be mentally aroused before they’re physically aroused and usually those two come in a pair so when trying to arouse these folks wordplay is keen sexual conduct! They tend to love communication during sex and like to hear all of the sounds you make as it make the act that much more intimate for them as mars here will tend to see communication as a form of intimacy.

* Mars in the 4th/mars in cancer: guys and gals here are all about vibes and tend to be aroused by emotional displays and emotional release and expression/connection. If any of these things are missing it can be super hard to turn these guys on especially since sex is super emotional for them and not something they can easily disengage from. So the best way to get them going is really to cater to their feelings. Not to say they can’t have casual flings but in all honesty it’s super rare that they do unless mars is afflicted as sex is a big matter for them. That being said breast and femininity turn them on(gay or otherwise) and touching as well as surrender arouse these individuals as it shows trust and intimacy.

* Mars in the 5th/mars in Leo: Mirrors-mirrors-Mirrors. They love to be worshiped and tend to be turned on by video recording their sexual endeavors! They like the idea of an audience mostly imaginary though. They are also towards the more dominate and "on top” role of things and males and women with this position are turned on when they have their back or the person their sleeping with has their back to them. Any position where they can be on their back and vice versa is appealing to them.The way to arouse men and women here is via worship and praise.(you know those bodybuilders that get off on muscle worship?) that’s I’d describe these guys. They lose their minds at praise and tend to be very lustful to the idea of being idealized and adored by their partner. Although the underdeveloped ones may be sexually selfish most tend to give out just as much praise to their partners when love making! But yeah attention is a turn on for them.

* Mars in the 6th/mars in Virgo: now I always hear about how cleanliness is a turn on for these folks and “oh my god the way you clean that counter makes me hard!” But I’ll be honest most I’ve known are very keenly attracted to “dominance” males tend to be sexually interested in being controlled or dominated or being the one enforcing the domination. Women can be drawn to more submissive and power surrendering roles as well. Masochist. Men can be easily aroused by “the first time” and innocence and the in experienced men/women. Women tend to like more domineering or forward male/female partners. CLEAN SEX is important to them and don’t even think they’ll take their clothes of if your hygiene is wild.

* Mars in the 7th: okay I’m doing this separately mainly because in my opinion people who have their mars in the 7th are way way different from mars in libra guys and gals. But for starters these guys and girls tend to be aroused by “passion” and “disputes” they actually act like Aries mars sexually and tend to find aggressive energy very sexually inviting. They usually are aroused by the idea of mutual arousal and mutual satisfaction similarly to mars in libra but in a more passionate way. Sex for them is a competition with their partner and or love interest and usually argumentative and willful sex is the name of the game. A battle of the wills so to speak. Women here can be turned on by a good debate and or argument. While men here can be turned on by disagreements and or confrontation. Sex here like libra is about mutual satisfaction.

* Mars in libra: these men and women are more on the passive side and may have a passive arousal pattern. Men here tend to be ambiguous in terms of what turns them on and can have varying triggers mainly based on the sign their venus is in which plays the role of their unconscious desire. For example a guys with his mars in libra and Venus in Scorpio may be turned on by genitalia and seduction via mystery and intensity. While a guys with mars in libra and Venus in Aquarius might be turned on by spontaneous sex or something on the border of kinky. Women here tend to be aroused by charm. They aren’t really aggressive or particularly into overly forward moves but once again as with the males Venus plays a big role here. But for the most part women like a bit of a more assertive taste sexually but not anything to cut and dry. Sex here is about mutual satisfaction in a peaceful and pleasure filled manner.

* Mars in the 8th/mars in Scorpio:(women) I’ve noticed women here aren’t aroused the same way men are. They tend to be more private and quiet about their pleasure and can be more into atmospheric means of arousal. These women are all about the scenery and the vibe. They are mainly aroused by the “situation” then the actual person. So as much as they like mr tall dark and mysterious they love the idea of the dimly lit room..the jewelry rubbing against their skin..the velvet sheets and so on. It’s all about textures for them. (Men) from what I’ve noticed are very much so turned on my the “moment” they LIVE for that one “moment” and the lead up to it. They can be very easily aroused by touch and perceived stimulation and or anticipation of a moment turning into something more. So if you intrigue them enough and give them the idea that something otherworldly(and or sexual) could occur via glances and movements and a small shake and jive here and there you’ve got them. Sex here is about control and how many ways you and them can lose said control.

* Mars in the 9th/mars in Sagittarius:👀"how many different ways can we experiment?“ These guys are super into the idea of trying new things and how many ways they can turn a mundane sexual escapade into an expansive sexual train so to speak 😭. (Guys) here are super turned on by excitement and a good time. Anything lighthearted and passionate is a turn o for them. Both guys and gals here are turned on by laughter and simplicity. There’s an edgy quality here that they are drawn to and that usually is intensity. Despite how lighthearted they may be they have a streak for being turned on by a lack of inhibition. (Women) here are turned on by passion and lust they like the idea of a uncontrollable sexual encounter that leads to a new awakening of sorts. The fast way to arouse these natives is “intrigue” like their opposite gemini they like the concept of being surprised and or having their curiosity peaked. So if you peak their interest in some way and overwhelm them with a passionate encounter and throw in some laughs here and there. Boom.

* Mars in the 10th/mars in Capricorn: “control me before I control you” these guys and gals are so military when it comes to sex like no lie. (Women/men) here can be into BDSM and anything where control is focal in the act. They tend to be aroused by moments and or situations where they can’t control themselves. Or situations where they might be restricted in some way from allowing themselves full sexual outlet. Men can be very aggressive and intense sexually and run on the colder side. Men here can be aroused by physical touch and physical intimacy while women can be turned on by dominance and touch as well. These guys are more vanilla sexually and into more traditional roles be it gay or heterosexual. (Mind you all earth placements have stamina but I’d say these guys take the cake)

* Mars in the 11th/mars in Aquarius:“mr and Mrs I’m not really here” these guys are kinda icy sexually and tend to have very fluctuating sexual moods. That border on hay lets go to hey let’s not. These guys are mentally sexual and can be turned on by the idea or concept of a sexual ideal. That being said they are very easily aroused and can be aroused by litturly anything. But that being said mentally they are turned on by communication and “mental visualization”(men) here can be cold and aloof in bed and seem hard to reach during the act but they are there trust me in fact sex is usually very deep for mars in Aquarius females and males they just process the act differently. (Females) can be emotionally gone or “blank” durning sex and can easily be somewhere else while it’s going on and seemingly in another moment of time. Both are usually turned on by the idea of sex itself but can vary on their emotional state and wherever Uranus is placed on how and when they would be aroused. These guys and gals run hot and cold and can sometimes be an entirely different person after the act is over as what they wanted in that moment sexually might be completely different and or non existent the next.

* Mars in the 12th/mars in Pisces: these guys and gals are mr and Mrs versatile. They are super fluid and a basic combination of all the variously mentioned mars positions since they are the last house and sign. That being said males and females here don’t have a specific gender archetype and I won’t be differencing between males and females for this one. They can be aroused by anything I’ve mentioned above and tend to actually need a strong emotional component and connection to their arousal as well. Sexually they can be very elusive and vague and may be so ethereal and fluid you won’t even come back from the sexual experience the same. They are extremely seductive and cloudy. So at times I call this the sexual fluid hot spot since many of the people I know with this sleep with guys and gals and guys and gals who seem to lose their own boundaries of sexuality when in contact with these people. That being said they can be either motionless and quiet in bed or very entrancing and moldable in bed like water there is litturly no in between. They get off on servicing the same way mars in Virgo does but via sacrifice. They actually fantasize about “losing themselves”

- Alright that being said this post isn’t meant to be taken to seriously and most of it is based on experience and stories from friends! None of what I said is set in stone nor is it something like a dis or shot at anyone’s mars sign or house placement. I really love all of you and I hope this post of anything gives you a laugh or maybe a little relatable aha :) but yeah bless 🎲🎲🎲

[limbokid]

Kenny and Bebe for the domestic ship memes 🖤

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ @sugarbebe​ ♥ sent an ask meme!! || status: accepting. 

SEND ME A SHIP AND I WILL TELL YOU: 

( THIS POST IS FUCKING LONG, I’M SORRY )

—who’s more dominant: I think they’re almost equally ranked on this, though since Kenny has much more patience than Bebe does, I believe he would be more passive about things than she would. Unless he’s sees something as unfair/unjust, he could be pretty assertive and confrontational so in a sense pretty dominant. But openly Bebe would be the more dominant of the two.

—who’s the cuddler: They’re both affectionate but I think Kenny would be more of the clinger here. He primarily uses affection to show his love. When it comes down to it though, he’s more physical than he is verbal. Bebe likes being showered with attention and affection from what I know, so i think this works out well for the both of them.

—who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Haha, honestly when these two come together their actions/choices are usually different from traditional standards. I'm pretty sure even though Kenny’s like SIX inches taller than Bebe, she would probably big spoon him. Often. He also lowkey prefers being held.

—what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: I think they would enjoy simple activities that would allow them to communicate without feeling claustrophobic. Something like, exploring areas they’ve never been before; slow walks in natural environments; the cliche car on hilltop- listening to music. They would probably take a lot of pictures together or of each other making stupid faces or just plainly goofing off. I’m sure they occasionally do movie marathons in their spare time. I also think they would enjoy a fair share of aggressive activities, as they’re each competitive in their own right. It could be anything from a Karaoke Duet to Laser Tagging, Ice Skating to out doing each other in Carnival games. Basically two extremes, really chill or no chill.

—who uses all the hot water: Kenny’s used to his water heater malfunctioning. He’s showered in cold water hundreds of times, I don’t think it would faze him much anymore. So. Bebe, no doubt about it.

—Most trivial thing they fight over: If it’s a domestic issue?? Taxes..?? I’m not sure tbh?? Maybe, messiness?? Kenny has a habit of never putting things back in their rightful places. That might start an argument?? IDK???

On the other hand, if it’s a relationship issue, I believe it would be absence and or lack of trust from either party. There’s something about loving someone tremendously and then having them leave you with nothing but a letter; never seeing them for another fifteen years -COUGH- that could potentially fuck with someone’s psyche y’know?? ALTHOUGH, when someone you love is in constant danger, and frequently disappears for days to weeks, without any explanation that’s also pretty fucking shady LOL. The reasons are valid at least..!!

—who does most of the cleaning: Aha, I think we’ve discussed this HC before, huehue. They’re pretty equal here. They sometimes team up and purge the entire fucking house together. 

—what has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: LMAO, “DVR.” MY MUSE IS TRIGGERED. Anyway, I think Bebe controls the Netflix queue ( or y’know.. Cordelia probably hogs up the whole fUckin account ) since Kenny doesn’t really care. He just wants to spend time with her when he can. Possibly cuddle, possibly bang, possibly O.D on leftovers. -Unless they promised to binge a specific show together. THEN “BRING THE POPCORN AND SCOOT OVER BITCH, LET’S FUCKIN’ DO THIS.”

—who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Hmm.. I not sure. I have a feeling that Bebe couldn’t be fucking bothered to talk to the landlord. Honestly, she probably hates them haha. Either she’s best friends with the landlord or YEET. In short, it would  T R I G G E R  Kenny, but I think he would do it.

—who leaves their stuff around: Hahahahahaha. Kenny. Maybe even Bebe?? I still think Ken would win this round by a LOT. Back home, his room would stay messy for months, until sooner or later he had a SUDDEN urge to clean it all up. He was really good with laundry though!! At least.. after he ran out of it. Washing everyone’s laundry was actually one of his many  chores. Unless their washer broke down, which it would.. constantly. If this occurred the whole family would just collect their piles of laundry, and take it to the public Laundromat together. He’s just used to being messy- and then… tidy.

—who remembers to buy the milk: Probably Bebe. Kenny never… really.. got to buy groceries.. so.. In all seriousness, groceries weren’t a part of his chores, so he never made it a habit to apply this rule to his regimen. No matter who he lives with. He’s just used to missing a meal, so he doesn’t worry about it.

—who remembers anniversaries:  Both!! Even though Bebe sometimes acts like a t’sundere, she totally loves romance. And luckily, Kenny is the type to pay attention to things that matter to his S/O’s. I think they’re both romantic’s and know how to woo each other well. So all that’s left is WHO SAYS “happy anniversary!!” FIRST.

—who cooks normally: Well, Kenny passed Home Ec with flying colors, and he’s actually a decent cook so. I suppose Ken would?? I can remember if Bebe was bad at cooking or not, but i think she tries anyway. Which Kenny finds extremely adorable, whether she fails or not.

—how often do they fight: I honestly don’t think they fight unless the problem is UNAVOIDABLE. I think they both kind of don’t mention anything until it get’s really bad. Like “well shit. you almost died, i think this might be a sign…”

—what do they do when they’re away from each other: I think they’re either working or indulging in their favorite hobbies. There’s also that whole concept called a social life, friends and shit. Crazy, I know!! It’s so weird how their entire existence doesn’t revolve around each other and that they haven’t surgically SEWN THEMSELVES TOGETHER. They’re such a strange & quirky couple!!!!

—nicknames for each other: UM. -SWEATS- HA, HAHAHAHAHa. HAHAHAHAHA. ( inside jokes are gr8 )

—who is more likely to pay for dinner: Kenny would try to pull that chivalry shit, because my boi is a gentleman, but if Bebe wants to be an independent  woman who doesn’t need some hobo’s money, then Ken won’t fight it. He likes being pampered anyway.

—who steals the covers at night: Kenny is a pretty calm sleeper. He doesn’t move much, and he doesn’t really snore either. He does get hot easily, and he sometimes has recurring nightmares, he’s also a light sleeper but that’s about it. I think bebe wins this round. Ken wouldn’t mind this though, he would probably pull her in and big spoon her cocoon fortress.  

—what would they get each other for gifts: Ummmmmmmmm. I think Bebe would notice how he’s constantly tense and probably book a spa day for him. He’s never been to a spa, so I can imagine him being very uncomfortable at first but then ADORING it afterward. Kenny on the other hand would put on a costume from a her favorite movie character and make up their home to look like her favorite scene and play out her fantasies, no questions asked. “oh, you like drama bebe?? i’ll give fucking give you drama.” ( the movie could be about WW3 and HE STILL WOULDn’T GIVE A FUCk. “this is a little weird but sure babe i’ll cosplay hitler.” )

 —who kissed who first: According to our HC’s… We never decided.. Though, my gut is telling me that the first kiss was mutual. Mostly cause’ YOU KNOW HOW MY BOi FEELS ABOUT CONSENT. Unless they were shitfaced. Then my gut is probably wrong HAHA. Yeeeah, I’m gonna hit you up after this..

—who made the first move: Honestly Ken is a naturally flirtatious person, I think he probably made a move waaay into the friendship stage, but since it’s usually his default, Bebe probably didn’t even notice it. HAHAHA RIP.

—who remembers things: NO ONE. IT’S CANON AND MY MUSE IS FUCKING  T R I G G E R E D. Nah but, I think Bebe is probably that chick that has a really aesthetic planner with color coordination and everything, that she never really bothers to fill out and she just owns it and leaves it on her desk to feel proficient LOL. I’m just gonna give this one to the both of them. I think they can both be responsible when it’s needed. But of course, everyone has their mishaps.

—who started the relationship: I wanna say BEBE SO BAD. Things would be so much more IRONIC and hilarious.

—who cusses more: Probably Kenny, he’s got a SAILORS mouth yo. He’s not embarrassingly bad.. He knows when and where it’s the right time to say stupid shit. Usually..

—what would they do if the other one was hurt: Drop EVERYTHING. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing. I think they would be at each other’s side as soon as possible. They would heal each other, mentally and physically. Whether they’re in a romantic relationship or not. I believe that they care about each other immensely  

—who is the dirty talker: As I’ve said before Kenny’s more physical than verbal. He is a sexual person, but he’s MUCH more LUSTFUL if he loves/cares for the person. I think Bebe would probably take the cake here. Whether or not she does indulge in dirty talk. He really only does it upon request. ALTHOUGH…. If you get him drunk, there are no limits, he’ll say things that would drop Bebe from 1st to 10th place.

—a head canon: They text each other sweet, positive and fluffy messages when they’re away from each other. Just in case the other is having a really bad day.