#my mutuals know i’m a little silly goofy and weird so this probably isn’t anything new

[bluebelleisabelle]

Um, so I had a wacky ass dream last night that I was casted to play Frankie in a live action movie adaptation of the g3 Monster High tv series. I’m so silly goofy (derogatory towards myself), so I found my own writing in my dream journal really funny.

There are some things I want to put out there before I launch you into the acid trip of a lifetime:

* There’s quite a bit of swearing, because sometimes I go off the rails djjddj. If you’re not a fan of swearing, just be warned that I curse like a sailor a lot in this.

* For those with arachnophobia, a nightmare fuel spider is described within this (no pictures, I promise). Just putting that out there.

I apologize in advance💀 Enjoy. Or don’t. I don’t really care, just don’t attack my brain for doing this to me last night /lh

Screenshots under the break:

[beauty-and-passion]

A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships

It all started with this ask:

I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.

But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.

One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.

There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come. 

______________________________

Janus and Patton

I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P

Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.

* More similar that we think

If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".

These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.

Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.

But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.

And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.

And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).

He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.

Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.

And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.

* A foundation of mutual respect

This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.

The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.

He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.

However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.

Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.

In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.

And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:

[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.

In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.

[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?

Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.

And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.

* The perfect working partner

POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.

But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?

Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.

What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.

And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:

[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.

Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).

If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.

But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.

Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.

Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.

* The romantic possibility

Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.

And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD

My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.

This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.

______________________________

Logan and Remus

Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.

But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:

- Having an interlocutor

Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.

Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.

Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?

Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?

Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.

Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.

- Gaining a place

At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.

Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.

The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.

This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.

Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.

- Understanding on a deeper level

However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.

The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.

It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.

That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)

- The romantic possibility

I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.

But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.

And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.

______________________________

Roman and Virgil

I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.

Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.

^ No need to demonstrate

Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.

Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.

Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.

So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.

^ Growing together

Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.

This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.

Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.

^ The romantic possibility

These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD

Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.

______________________________

Two couples I understand

Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.

But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.

So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.

But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.

So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.

And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.

In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.

Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.

The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.

So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.

[spacehologramcollection]

NSFW Alphabet Smoke.

Finally, the NSFW Alphabet for my man Smokey Boo Bear. I had so much fun writing this. It may differ from other HC’s about him. But this is my interpretation of what he’d be like. I feel like I’m repenting for my sins for writing Havik Smut to be fair.

Warnings: NSFW, so you know the drill 18+ under the cut. Mentions of all that smutty goodness. Some mentions of the Enenra. I cannot also speak any Czech whatsoever. So, you may have to use your imaginations. Why does Smoke not have a Czech accent though? GIF does not belong to me. Was found on google. 

·       A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Tomas is so soft after sex and he is extremely vulnerable himself. Aftercare with him is mutual thing. He needs some TLC and a hell of a lot of love after. It’s simple things like running you both a bath, helping to wash each other’s bodies. If you help him wash his hair, he will love you for it. Because it takes a fucking lot of work to comb and brush. It’s also soft touches and caresses after. The man is more on the touch starved side, extremely touch starved when you first meet. So, he craves human affection and touch. So please give it to him. A lot of soft reassuring words are passed back and forth in the dark of your shared room. Only the string lights wrapped around your bedframe illuminating you. You’re a tangle of limbs, blankets and love. In conclusion Smoke is a big softie and he loves to be affectionate after sex. After your shower he’ll also bring you both a snack and a warm drink. God, imagine him leaning back against your counter, hair in a bun, no shirt on, grey checked joggers. PERFECTION. His voice is also very soothing.

·       B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This is a tricky one for him, because in his eyes he loves every inch of you. But if he had to choose, he’s without a doubt very partial to your chest, stomach and neck areas. He loves leaving a trail of flitted kisses and light love bites down there. He also loves your thighs, he just loves how they feel when you’re on top of him, or the way they snake around his waist. He loves running his hands over them and the feel of your skin against his. As for his favourite body part when it comes to himself. He’s not overly bothered where you touch at first, just please touch and love him, he’s been starved for a very long time and he just craves some touch. But after a while, when he’s used to the frequent contact and content. He finds he does love his arms and shoulders the most. The feel of you gripping at them, trying to remain in control as he fucks you silly against a wall. Or the way you bury your head into them as you cum. He loves it. He’s worked hard for his body and is very proud of his arms.  

·       C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

So, with Tomas, he isn’t into making messes. They aren’t his thing. So, he will prefer to cum in you or his hand if you’re not into him cumming into you. But if you’re down for swallowing he will lose it watching as you take everything, he gives you. An exception to the mess rule is shower sex. He will make an absolute mess of you, if you want him to, as long as it’s in the shower. He will never admit how much it turned him on. When you were in the shower, on your knees, tongue out waiting for him to cum on your face. He felt weird at first, until he saw you covered in his cum. Enenra does stir a little when he sees you in a mess. It’s something Smoke has to try and keep control of. It’s a two-way relationship, one which Enenra isn’t involved in and has no say.

·       D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has had exactly one really filthy dream. He hasn’t told anyone this because it really did turn him on something fierce. He’ll take this secret to the grave with him. This dream had it all. Manipulation of his powers, fucking somewhere you shouldn’t have been, best friend walking in. It was fucking SPICY. He’d disappeared and reappeared in a cloud of smoke. Sat there, legs spread on that fucking chair. It ended with you, riding the fuck out of him on the Lin Kuei throne. Only to have Kuai walk in on you both mid fucking. Really in front of his salad? The dream ended there. But he was curious to see how it ended. He did fuck you a bit rougher that morning too.

·       E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

And with the running theme for our Lin Kuei men. Smoke has no experience whatsoever. I will die on this hill. Touch starved to fuck through choice though. He doesn’t trust just anyone, and it takes a lot for him to trust you. So, sex wasn’t on the cards. That, and he’s nervous about sex with Enenra lurking inside him. If that little shit wanted to wake up, what would happen? He didn’t want to think about it. So, abstained from sex. He has had a lot of offers. Sareena could have hooked him up with someone easily. Someone who wouldn’t have been bothered if Enenra reared his ugly arse head during. That and him masturbating isn’t easy, but more on that later. So yeah, you’re taking his virginity. He trusts you and learns to subdue the fear of Enenra, and you seem to shut the fucker down too. So, all in all. He’s not experienced, won’t be great the first few times, and probably won’t last long. But it’s all practise, a great warrior isn’t moulded over a day, give him some time to practise and he’s eager to learn.

·       F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual Will instead include badly described sex positions)

Comes as no surprise but he’s very vanilla at first. He likes to feel he has some degree of control of the situation. Just so he can stop it in case he feels like it’s getting too much. So, it’ll mainly be missionary. That and he does love to look at your face and expressions you make during. It kind of reassures him that he’s doing everything right… not that your moans and noises don’t already confirm that. After a while you try a few new positions, mainly doggy, him fucking you against a wall. Whilst he loves all of them, he does love it when you ride him. It’s like the ultimate show of trust for him. He’s putting you in control. He loves watching your hips move against him, the circular motions you make, the way your hands run over his chest. The way you grip his shoulders for leverage. It can also feel intimate when he sits up and brings you closer together. Sex is really intimate for him so he’s going to prefer positions that are more intimate.

·       G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Tomas has an interesting sense of humour. Whilst he may come across as stoic and mature (Not quiet Kuai’s level) he does have a sense of humour. And will occasionally let out a breathy laugh when you say something that’s a bit dirty. It’s just the way he is. He’s not going to sit there and makes overtly sexual jokes or tell you one mid thrust. But he has a sense of humour. It’s more prominent at the beginning of your relationship. When he’s inexperienced, it’s his way of dealing with not knowing what to do. But sex becomes a little more serious as he gets better. He will still laugh after, because he cannot believe how lucky he is.

·       H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Tomas takes care of himself. And yeah, the hair does match the drapes. He’s a little embarrassed by that. Even though you kinda knew because his eyebrows are fucking grey. But he keeps everything trimmed and well groomed. If he was to grow stubble on his face you wouldn’t be able to tell straight away. That and when he did try and grow a beard Bi-Han called him Santa for a week straight. So, he keeps himself well groomed. The only part that’s a little untamed, is the very faint trail that runs from bellow his navel down to his cock. You want to follow that trail and see where it goes.

·       I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Tomas is very intimate during sex. This is due to how he views it and himself. It’s a real reflection and insight into how he is. He doesn’t let just anyone touch him. It takes years of trust. And he doesn’t let himself close to many. But you, you’re different. He’d go as far as saying you’re his soulmate. So, when he has sex with you, he’s allowing himself to be vulnerable and showing you a side he doesn’t show many people. He’ll have a lot of sweet words leaving his mouth, compliments are being bestowed left right and centre. Lots of strokes, caresses and slow fucking. He can also be very romantic when the time calls for it. He saves these for special occasions though, because after a while it may lose it’s meaning. Like anniversary sex very romantic, it’s not surprising but it is. He’s learnt from Bi-Han and Kuai which means he should technically suck, but then again, he has read a lot of books. So, he probably pulls his romance ideas from that. A lot of rose petals, incense, some champagne. He’s gone all out.

·       J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Masturbating had never been his thing. Sometimes it had to be done. And he thought of it as a chore. It was always difficult with Enenra surging his way through him near the point of him cumming. He had to keep control and that didn’t help him focus. It was a very difficult situation; one he couldn’t just speak to anyone about. Bi-Han isn’t the best for advice, and Kuai, well Kuai is Kuai. He’s not an overtly sexual person. Neither of them has another being living in them. So, he felt stuck. He eventually, after a few awkward searches and tweaking, came up with a solution and grew to control him better. But now he has you, it’s not as bad, you silence and keep Enenra at bay. He’s not sure why. But mutual masturbation is now one of his favourite things in the world.

·       K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Sorry but he’s not overtly kinky. He’s on the vanilla side of things. And he’s still exploring everything. He does have a bit of voice kink on his part, he loves watching you come undone as he speaks in Czech. Inappropriate manipulation of smoke is another kink. He loves watching it ebb around you, swirl and reveal parts of you. He loves been able to get you off with it. So, he has a slight temperature kink. Where there’s fire, there’s Smoke…

·       L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Apart from that one dream where he fucked you on the throne. He’s down mainly for the bedroom. It’s private, intimate, little to no chance of getting disturbed and his room is really comfy. A little bit on the basic side. But the man loves his little succulents, string lights and piles of warm blankets and pillows. But he will also fuck you in the shower, he loves the feel of the water as it runs down his back as he fucks you against a wall. Or how the warm tiles feel against his body as he lays down and you ride him. So mainly bedroom, bath/shower, or wall sex. More private than public. He doesn’t want to get caught.

·       M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing how undone you’re coming either when he gives you oral or as he teases you with his fingers. He can’t believe he’s managing to make you come this undone. And he’s the one getting you GONE. He also has a thing for watching you undress. If you want to get him hard, all you’ll need to do is just start removing some layers slowly. It’s still an intimacy thing. You’re baring your body to him, showing him, you trust him… that and you’re perfect in his eyes. Heavy make out sessions will also get him going, be gentle with him though.

·       N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

So, this is where this differs to some other Hc’s people have for Tomas. He’s not submissive. He needs to have some control or feel he’s in control. He been through some shit. And he doesn’t like not feeling he has some control over the situation. So, he will not be into bondage, BDSM or any of that. He won’t hurt you during sex either, or in return he really doesn’t want any of that shit either. He doesn’t mind gently tugs to his hair but don’t yank it. Tomas has been through a lot and needs some care and attention. He just wants to feel loved and not scared. So, he avoids anything that could bring harm. He can be a little rough, but he draws the line at slapping, choking etc. It makes him feel like he’ll lose control, Enenra is always there and that’s something you both need to accept. Better to play it safe.

·       O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He gets better at giving over time. And he really does love to give and he gets very, very good at it. He loves watching you come undone on his tongue and will often smirk watching you writhe against his mouth. That and with that smoke power, it feels UNREAL when he lets parts ghost out of his mouth and hands over your dripping cunt. A bit teasingly. But he’d deny teasing, because would he do that? Will also leave little love bites on your thighs.

He loves to receive too. Oh my god who would have thought it would feel this nice. He’s a little unsure at first when you say you want to take him all, he hears you gag and is a bit nervous. But he relaxes when you start moaning around his cock. He’s so impressed you can take him all. Loves running his fingers through your hair as you suck him off.  

·       P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Okay. So, Tomas is going to prefer Slow and Sensual sex, I think we’ve covered this in detail. But he just prefers it, sex is sacred to him and an intimate act, he wants that philosophy to reflect in his actions. But that doesn’t say he won’t fuck you on the rougher side. Not enough to hurt you, but he can be more fast, frantic and have deeper thrusts. This comes after a little bit of practise, but by god does it feel good.

·       Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not a fan of them. He wants to take his time. Explore, make sure you leave with jelly legs and to him, that cannot be achieved in a short amount of time. But he will have a quickie if he must leave on a mission OR if he’s snuck out to meet you when he’s meant to be on a mission. Sometimes he has a yearning to fuck you and he can’t concentrate. And Bi-Han told him to eliminate distractions. So, you know, it’s sort of his fault if he gets caught out. But yeah. Her prefers proper sex rather than quickies. But they do come in useful and sometimes are needed.

·       R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s down to try new things but nothing risky. He doesn’t want you to be hurt or himself. He has Enenra in him and he cannot risk losing control of that. He’s not sure what he would do to you and he doesn’t want to take that risk. So, to be real, you will have to accept that it’s a big part of him. He wants you to be safe and he knows that means been careful. But there are other ways to experiment without taking huge risks. New locations, him sneaking out to see you, trying new things, more on that later.

·       S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s a ninja. He’s got some stamina on him. He can go for one long round and recover quickly. Or he can do shorter rounds. Short to him is around the half an hour mark, long is pushing the one-hour mark maybe one and a half. He can recover fast though.

·       T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He’s down for some experimentation with toys. They don’t seem very risky. Saying that, he is not into pegging, there’s an element of control in there he is not keen on. But he’s fine to use toys to spice things up. Different types of lube, vibrators… but he also has his powers which he is down for using. He’s mastered them so you know, best toy of all. Who knew smoke could do this to you?! You’ll never think of the smoke leaving the kettle the same again.

·       U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can tease and doesn’t mind a little bit of light teasing. Such as talking about how you’re blushing, ghosting over your skin, taking his time. And he doesn’t mind this been done to him. He draws the line when it pushes past light teasing and goes into the realm of submission. He doesn’t do begging and it makes him uncomfortable. As long as he has some control over the situation, he will be fine. But it’s mainly light teasing. So, no chastity style teasing. That’s not happening. That’s not teasing his mind, and it’s a major turn off for him and it’s not great for him. BE GENTLE WITH HIM!

·       V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

For someone who is very quiet in most situations. He can be very loud when fucking. A lot of moans and groans, some filthy words been uttered under his breath. Some of them are in English, some of them are in Czech. What is he saying? He could be reading the fucking phonebook, but you do not give a fuck. His voice is a lot deeper in his native tongue, so there’s that. He does cum loudly sometimes; depends how long it has been. He has to bite his hand sometimes. He could not live it down if Bi-Han walked in. He could not.

·       W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

SFW: Such a hipster at heart. His room is just a mess of blankets, pillows, string lights and little cacti. But he’s had these things before they were cool. Has like three sets of string lights and drinks IPAs. Wears his hair in a bun because it’s long and gets in his eyes. But like, it’s fine because he’s a ninja, so it’s not a manbun. Is a manbun.

BONUS SFW: Out of all the Lin Kuei Men. Tomas is the one who can pursue a more normal relationship. He doesn’t have titles and rules holding him back. If he wants to go to the city with you on a date, he can. He doesn’t need to watch his PDA, but he still isn’t keen on it. But you can date him without fear of judgement. Because he’s not a Grandmaster or a leader. He’s just your Smokey Boo Bear.

NSFW: His cum has a smokey taste to it. I will die on this hill fight me on this. But yeah, his cum has a bit of a smoked taste to it. Fuck knows why and it’s always a bit on the warmer side. He has once cum, and smoke did come out before he blew his load. Luckily he was just masturbating, so you weren’t there. He says a silent prayer to the Elder Gods every time you fuck. Because he doesn’t want that shit to happen in front of you. Has asked his dick ‘WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?’ A few times. Raiden must have overheard his prayers and consulted with the Elder Gods, because it’s not happened yet. He’s sure he has heard him.

·       X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s on the bigger side of average. Not going to lie. You were not expecting that when you first unbuttoned his jeans. It was jus there, it’s always the quiet ones. He kinda looked at you a bit sheepishly. It’s probably pushing 8” but it’s pretty thick. A nice-looking cock, 10/10 would suck.

·       Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s not super high and wasn’t to begin with. It was more of a chore he had to take care of. But since meeting you and having sex, it has increased a little bit. Sex is intimate and he doesn’t want to just fuck you for the sake of fucking you. Sometimes a need does arrive and if you’re down to fuck then, lock the doors and close the blinds, cos you’re going for a ride! He doesn’t need to have sex every day, but some weeks he feels the need to. So, he really differs. On average sex probably 4-5 times a week. But it can be more, can be less.

·       Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Smoke struggles to sleep. But he sleeps better in his own bed and with you laying with him. He will fall asleep after you, he likes to make sure you’re settled and safe before drifting off. Is the big spoon and loves burying his head into your hair as he falls asleep.

[angeltrapz]

helo beloved mutual connor, im sorry ur goin thru it rn but i come bearing asks n a heart emoji (💗): bcuz i have had this thought floatin around for a lil bit, wld love 2 hear ur takes on an Adam/Eric/Mallick (+ Art too if u want!) road trip vacation! how long wld they go, do they get motels or camp or just sleep in th car? whats everyone's favorite road trip snack? what sorta shit do they like 2 stop for? (weird tourist traps like giant balls of yarn etc, small town main street stores, cool looking restaurants, nature sites, Actual Destinations, so on n so forth!)

fjkdsd thank u beloved mutual adam,,, <3

ohhh I love tht idea!! road trip fics/hcs are one of my weaknesses,,

but um!! I rly like the idea of th four of them going camping a few hours up north!! (we... don't rly know where. SAW is set so just. imagine a vaguely rural campground lmao. I'm used to camping in th upper peninsula of MI so) it's smth tht Art did a lot w his family when he was growing up, so he's th most familiar w it - Eric went a few times as a kid too, Mallick went Once, n Adam has never rly been camping, w his family or otherwise (he's slept on a trampoline at one of his friends' houses once tho). Art is p excited abt it tbh, it's not exactly smth he gets 2 do often so he's got this whole list planned of things he wants 2 show them!!

it's easiest 2 just take a week in late August, bc they can head back home on a Friday n have the weekend to settle n readjust b4 th coming week + they have to go back 2 work. so they head out around ten on a Monday morning 2 kind of get ahead of th traffic (or at least try to). Art drives both bc he insists and bc he knows they can switch if he needs to, which he does later w Eric. it's a good couple hours (at least 3) b4 they get 2 th campground Art wants to take them to, so clearly it is Music Time + Adam made sure 2 bring CDs! a lot of that time is just spent vibing 2 th music and singing very, very loudly (ESP on Adam + Mallick's end). Art's up front like u three are so fucking goofy (affectionate), but eventually he starts singing too lmao.

Mallick starts th Colour Game, where they try 2 find a car fr every colour of th rainbow. it's smth Eric is familiar w as well bc he used 2 play it w Daniel sometimes, and it's good until they come to purple bc how often do u see purple cars??? so Adam's just like "we're not gonna find pink either" n tht's when this fucking pink pickup truck (noticeably spray-painted, + not done well) passes them n Adam just groans n thumps his head against th window. Mallick is like, trying rly hard not to laugh by pressing a hand over his mouth + Art is biting his lip, but Eric is very openly cackling bc "u see what happens when u assume???" (he gets a very light slap 2 th shoulder but it's still very gentle)

ANYWAY. favourite snacks!! Adam can eat Way Too Many Sour Patch Kids. sour anything, actually, as long as it's candy. yes his tongue hurts and no he doesn't regret it. Eric just gets goldfish bc he tends 2 get a lil carsick + bc it's a food tht's familiar n comforting, n he doesn't rly want 2 be eating anything Too heavy (he's up front w Art, so he can sit by a window in case he needs some fresh air at any point). Mallick likes m&m's, but he switches fr cheez-its every once in a while bc he can only eat so much chocolate. Art likes those peanut-butter filled pretzel bites! he's also partial 2 animal crackers tho. they also bring a good amount of snacks/things they can b sure th four of them like, bc yeah there's a lil store abt a half hour away frm their campsite + they can go there to pick up things if they need 2, but it's easier 2 bring things they like, too. (there's also a mcdonald's in tht town n. they do go there at LEAST twice.)

th campsite they stay at has a lake + a beach, n one of Art + Adam's fave things 2 do is walk along it to see if they can find anything interesting! Mallick goes sometimes too, but mostly he stays w Eric bc Eric can't do tht fr as long as Adam + Art can (not tht he's resentful of it tho). he n Mallick chill on th beach w a blanket (it's kind of like. not necessarily sandy?) n just kinda sit against/lay on each other n read sometimes. Adam + Art come back 2 where they're set up to find them sleeping n Adam has never been more thankful he thought 2 bring his camera!!

on th second day Art + Mallick want 2 go swimming, so th four of them come back out to th beach, but Adam stays out of th water + Eric stays w him. they both know th water will be cold, even if it's late summer, n Adam rly doesn't like being in cold water ESP if it's over his head/he can't touch th bottom. fr Eric th cold can b kind of painful, so they chill n walk along th beach fr a little bit n just talk. Adam gets some good pictures n even gets some of Eric! he also does take a selfie of them, he can't help it. he gets a couple of Mallick + Art too. it's honestly such a nice thing fr them n it just feels like they can breathe easy, not having 2 worry abt looking over their shoulders constantly (tho they're all getting better abt that).

th third day they spend around th campsite to kind of unwind n relax. they might walk th beach a little bit again, but mostly they just sorta chill n walk some of th trails around the campground itself. when night falls they light a small bonfire (Mallick is still iffy around fire, understandably) n they sit around it in their folding chairs w th cupholders (Adam gets red, Eric has green, Art gets blue, + Mallick gets dark green) n make s'mores. they talk abt anything n everything until they're barely able 2 keep their eyes open, n then after making sure th fire is pretty much out they kinda just stumble into th tent n none of them r awake for very long after (they specifically got one tht cld comfortably hold th four of them).

fourth day!! they pack up n head into another little town about 45 minutes away; it's bigger than th one around th campgrounds. after they get situated in a motel room w two beds, they do some window shopping + going into lil stores that interest them! Adam def buys some niche graphic tees tht aren't going 2 make sense to anyone other than th four of them n he's delighted abt it. I like 2 think Eric gets a worry stone, specifically made out of rose quartz. Mallick too, but his is made of amethyst! he also gets a rly cool multicoloured jacket in a thrift store they duck into. Art gets a hoodie w th town's name on it n he's pretty happy w that. they get a few more lil things, just little knick-knacks while they're there, n then they have dinner in this lil diner they'd walked past earlier bc it's inexpensive + the atmosphere is very lowkey n honestly just Nice. there's not a bunch of ppl, the servers r rly kind n the lights aren't too bright, which Eric rly appreciates. it's such a tender moment bc they're squeezed into a booth, Adam + Mallick on one side n Art + Eric on th other, n they're talking n laughing n stealing bites of each other's food n it's Comfortable.

then they head back to th motel n channel surf while unpacking enough 2 get to their sleep clothes. Adam + Eric r sharing a bed n Art + Mallick r sharing th other one, tho Adam is very tempted 2 just push them together so they're all close by (th distance btwn th beds isn't tht big to begin with, but it's the principle of th thing). mostly tho, until they go to bed, they're pretty much just all stretched out Everywhere. Adam is only discouraged frm jumping across th divide btwn th beds bc Art breaks out his Lawyer Voice, despite trying rly hard not to laugh, to say Yr Going To Hurt Yrself, Don't Do That. he grumbles n whines abt it but Adam knows he's right jdhjks (th way he sees it is like. he can b silly sometimes. he's Earned It, but he also trusts Art + wasn't super serious abt tht idea). eventually tho Eric can hardly keep his eyes open n Mallick is just straight up asleep while he's still sitting up so tht's when they all go to bed after making sure every1 is comfortable. they leave a lamp on.

fifth day they pack everything up again n stop 2 walk th trails of this lil park b4 they head home! there's a lil shop near th parking lot so they spend a lil bit of time looking around in there first. they probably pick up a few lil things, souvenirs, n Adam walks around 2 get some pictures. he gets this rly cool one while they're on a bridge, th sun peeking thru the clouds a lil bit n shining down on th water. he's super excited to develop tht one (but he's excited to develop All of them, bc this is his family!!!) + he n Art discuss whether or not they're gonna need another cork board lol. eventually tho they round back to th parking lot n on th way home, they stop at another lil hole-in-th-wall kind of place, but it's just as nice as the first one they'd been to. after tht Eric switches spots w Art n he drives them home!!

they're all exhausted when they get back but they have room to crash w each other while they nap so tht's what they do. they fall asleep all tangled together, Art stretched out w Eric's head on his chest, Adam curled against Eric's back, n Mallick w his head on Art's stomach. there r arms n legs everywhere n tht is okay. they're happy. they love each other. they had a lot of fun on their trip n they're tired, but they're comfortable!! tht's what it's all abt!!! it's just such a good n relaxing experience fr them after all th shit they've been thru.

[embracehappy]

Tour starts today! and I had a dream (AU vibes)

HAPPY DAY 1 OF TOUR! We love our dude and he even managed to sneak into my dreamland last night. I hope you all get the opportunity to see Shawn at some point over the next year! This tour is gonna be so good!

So this is silly, but here’s what I dreamt last night:

So somehow I had gotten tickets to the opening show - on the floor, in the center, second row from the stage. And somehow I had gotten there really early before like almost any crowds had started filling the arena. And suddenly a few stadium people come out and they started taking down the seats in the front row. I ask what they’re doing. They said that it was confirmed the whole first row wasn’t coming and the since show starts soon so they’re just removing the seats and giving the second row a better view. (weird) So now I’m sitting first row with some space for dancing right next to the stage. I take note of my surroundings. The arena has started to fill up, but not really. Also the person seated to my left is now here. (We’ll name him Tim) I knew him in high school and quit frankly I didn’t and still don’t like him that much. He’s annoying. But he starts trying to make small talk with me and since I’m about to have to spend this whole concert next to him, I decided that I should be nice and talk so that I can act like an idiot later when I’m singing and dancing along - No bad vibes at a Shawn concert allowed. So after a bit, the arena still isn’t as full as I think it should be (I must’ve gotten there way earlier than I thought I had. Like first in the doors when they opened or somn.) This is when it gets exciting. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see a figure in a black hoody overseeing the removal of the last of the chairs. He’s on the stage but somehow almost unnoticeable. And then we make eye contact. It takes a second to register, but I quickly realize that it was indeed Shawn Mendes. I smile because I was genuinely having a good time watching the buzz in the arena grow. And then I couldn’t believe what happens next. Shawn smiles back. Then he crouches down and tells one of the arena workers something. He moves across the stage and sits on it’s edge directly in front of me. Somehow NO ONE in the arena is bothered to care that Shawn is on the stage. I walk up to the barrier with a confused look on my face and Tim follows suite. Shawn says “hi welcome to the show!” and his smile gets a little bigger and he does his grabby wave thing. 

“oh! hey! Shouldn’t you be like backstage doing a meet and greet or something?”

“Oh no! It just ended and I wanted to come out and see how the crowd is forming.”

“Well this is a sold out show. So you’re crowd will love you no matter what.”

Shawn blushes and looks away. 

Concern crosses my face. “wait, are you nervous? You have nothing to be afraid of we’re literally all here to see you. And honestly, even if you sound terrible and the stage falls apart, we’ll still love you and have a great time.”

Shawn chuckles. “I know. It’s just this is the first show and I want this tour to be amazing-”

“You’re going to be great.” I cut him off with a soft voice.

Shawn chuckles again. “I definitely will now that I have a friend in the front row! What’s your name?”

“Jackie” (NOT MY NAME I HAVE NO IDEA WHY MY DREAM CHOSE THIS NAME)

“Well, Jackie - When I need a familiar face I’m going to look at you during the show.” 

“I’ll be here” 

Shawn turns his attention to Tim, slightly curious and afraid suddenly. Almost like he just noticed the dude standing next to me. 

But before Shawn can say anything, Tim slaps my shoulder and says “ Don’t worry man, she’s here for you.”

That must’ve been sufficient for Shawn, because he gives a nod to Tim and then winks at me before getting up and running off off the stage. 

Tim promptly turns to me and freaks out. “Oh my gosh you just got hit on by Shawn Mendes!!” 

I run a hand through my hair. “Don’t broadcast it! Who knows what kind of crazys are be listening!”

“Well, by the end of the show, they’ll all know that Shawn has eyes for you. If the concert goes anything like what just happened., Shawn will barely take his eyes off the front row.”

I blush and laugh, hiding my face. “He better not. Andrew is going to kill him”

Αnd that’s when I feel a strong tug on my arm. And then it cuts to black. 

_____

I wake up and there’s beeping white.

 I’m in a hospital bed. I reach for my phone and see a slew of text messages from Tim. 

“Hey are you okay?” “you said you were fine when you walked out” “Where are you?” “I can’t find you” “the show starts in 5″ “Alessia is on stage” “Where the fuck are you” “Alessia is off stage and the crowd is chanting” “Shawn will be out soon” “Shawn’s on stage” “are you okay?” “Shawn looks heart broken”

And thats where the messages stop. The last one sent 15 minutes ago. I text back and let Tim know I’m in a hospital but have no idea what happened. Tim explains someone pulled my arm and I fell and hit my head. I claimed I was fine and just wanted to go splash some water on my face, so I walked out to go find a bathroom. 

I must’ve passed out somewhere along the way. 

A doctor walks in saying that I don’t have any sign of concussion and that I’m free to go. The excitement must have just been to much for me and I passed out, not necessarily because I hit my head, but more likely because I was overwhelmed. I make my way back to the arena. 

____

At the gate, the security won’t let me in because I’ve already scanned my ticket and reentry isn’t allowed. Suddenly I recognize someone from Shawn’s team walking by. I call out and frantically explain to them that I fainted and was taken to the hospital, but was cleared and I really just wanted to watch the final portion of the concert but I can’t get back in. 

Shawn team member look confused and pulls out their phone. “let me just make a quick call.” They walk out of earshot.

The team member hangs up and walks back to me and the security guards. “Okay so I just called Andrew and his description of the fainting girl looks like you, so I’m going to let you back in. But you can’t go to your seat you have to come with me.”

At this point I’m just glad I’m being allowed back in. I follow the team member around the arena and then up a bunch of stairs. Eventually we come to a door and the team member lead me inside. 

It’s a box. But not just any box. It’s full of random lower level team members that don’t have jobs during the actual show itself and have no reason to be backstage. I read some of the name badges and see mostly truck drivers, but I did spot a personal trainer. The view was pretty bad considering I was originally front and center at first row, but these definitely aren’t the worst seats in the house. I shoot Tim a text with an update. 

After a while I’m comfortable. Or at least as comfortable as I could get in an uncomfortable situation. I really did just want to be back on the floor. I get a text from Tim saying “he keeps looking at me, looking for you. I’m going to point to your box.” 

The show continues and then when Shawn is running across the stage during the bridge of Mutual, I hear it. 

“Jack come down!” 

The arena screams in confusion. But I know who he’s talking to. My phone pings, no doubt a message from Tim. I’m shifting my weight trying to decide the best way to get out of the room. Mutual ends and the pause between songs seems a little longer that it should be, probably just first show hiccup I think. 

Half way through the next song, Andrew busts into the box. His eyes are quickly darting around. “You! Jackie! Come on!” Andrew walks out of the room quickly, assuming I’ll follow. And he’s right, I run after him, suddenly very afraid that I’m about to get thrown out. 

Andrew is mumbling something under his breathe about “of course Shawn would meet the one that faints” or something along those lines. Once we’re in an empty area, Andrew turns to me. 

“Okay so here’s the thing. Shawn seems to like you I don’t know how, because there wasn’t a meet and greet and I told him directly not to go on stage prematurely. But anyway - You’re going to go back to your seat on the floor, and after the concert you’re going to stay there and not leave. Someone will come get you. Okay?” 

“got it” 

Andrew points to the entrance to the floor. And I walk that way holding up my floor wristband to be allowed back in. 

As soon as I walk in I feel like Shawn’s eyes are on me. He follows my walk all the way up to me seat. Where Tim had to help me reclaim dominance of the spot. Considering that I was absent for the whole show, people moved in. But once I’m standing and moving to the music I see Shawn smile as he looks away, giving the arena his attention again. 

Throughout the remainder show he would occasionally look down and make eye contact with me, and I could usually see that he was trying to suppress a goofy smile, saving it for when he looked back at the crowd.

At the end of the concert, right before Shawn ran off stage he looked over at me and raised his eyebrows. And the movement was so small, but I’m pretty sure he mouthed “stay” too. Clearly not giving a fuck about the rest of his fans anymore. 

I stood and I waited. The bottlenecked exit made the crowd take forever to disperse on the floor. Tim even disappeared at some point, leaving me all by myself, yet surrounded by people. After the crowd finally broke up more, a arena worker in all black comes up to me. “Jackie?” 

I nod my head. 

“follow me.” I follow them through a series of boundaries and hallways. All empty, until suddenly busy. 

“I was told to bring you here, this is the green room. Theres couches you can sit on” 

I walk into the room and find a few of Shawn’s team members in there. Most notably, Brian. I avoid them all and sit on a couch in the corner. After a few minutes Shawn busts into the room in sweat pants and a t shirt. He must have just showered really quick once he was off stage. He also has more people in tow.

He makes his way over to Brian and the crew but he’s looking around the entire time. He hugs every member in the cluster and gets pushed around by Brian and Josiah He eyes fall on me and he smiles calling out “Jackie!” Everyone turns to look at me and I see Andrew roll his eyes. 

“oh hey!” Shawn walks over and grabs my hand pulling me off the couch and towards his friends. 

_________

That night when checking instagram, I receive a dm notification from Shawn. It’s only one line but it stole my breath (and made me wake up)

“Do you want to come on tour?”