#my mumma is my doctor

[girlivealwaysbean]

it wasn't low bp it was low blood sugar lol

[emmyrosee]

You’re completely out of reality today.

Rintaro’s flight is delayed until who knows what time, the twins brewing in your uterus are obliterating your back and bladder, and the love of your life Kaiya is intent on making your life a project today. With Akito staying at a friends house for a project, it truly is just you at the mercy of 1.8 kids.

You’ve danced the pregnant dance for nine years by now, but this is the first time in a long time you’re just about ready to break down into tears. You don’t know if it’s because you’re exhausted, your hormones are off the chart, or if you’re just so done with being pregnant for the past 8 months that the baby bump you usually adore is just becoming too much to keep.

You feel so sore, so gross from the sweat and other bodily fluid changes that come with twins. Nothing that any pamphlet, and doctor, even the Miya twin’s poor mother taking the time to call you and talk to you about it wasn’t anything to hold a candle to the exhaustion you’re feeling.

Eventually, it must boil over. And you do so without even knowing it, brushing Kaiya’s hair after a bath.

“Why you cryin’, mumma?”

“Huh?” Your hand stills softly, just clutching the hairbrush in your hand.

She turns around to face you, her small hand slowly reaching up to touch your wet cheek, and when you feel the warmth of her hand against your cool tear tracks, you’re quick to sniffle and move to wipe them away. “I’m sorry baby, mommy’s just feeling yucky today.”

Okay. Not what you meant to confess to your little three year old, but immediately, her eyes widen and she moves to crawl on your lap. You pick her up and plop her on your thigh, cradling her and trying your damndest to not wail right there.

“Mumma bootiful, mumma.”

Again, you freeze. You pull away slightly, fat tears rolling down your cheeks with fervor this time. “What…?”

“Mumma bootiful!”

“Mumma’s beautiful?”

“Yeah!”

Your lip wobbles and you tug her closer, “my baby… what did I do to deserve you? My cutie Kaiya.” You give her a flurry of kisses on her cheeks, and it has her giggling in joy.

“Mumma give kisses!”

“Mumma will always give you kisses,” you promise. You plant a few more to her temple, only stopping to take a few minutes to sniff her clean hair, rub her soft cheeks, and enjoy the silence of just you and your little girl.

A sudden kick to your side has you snapped from your daze, and Kaiya gasps excitedly.

“Which baby’s kickin, mumma?” She asks, and you ponder the thought for a minute. “Sachie or Sachiko?”

You think on it, then plant a kiss to her nose, “I think it’s Sachie; I think she’s got daddy’s sassiness, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” agrees, and with one more kiss to her temple, you nudge her softly to get up.

“Come on, stink. Let’s watch a movie before daddy comes home to ruin the fun.” At your words, she giggles and gets up, bouncing down the halls and leaving you to quickly clean the bathroom.

With a small bowl of veggies and a Disney movie playing on the tv, you pull a blanket over you both and let the calmness of Encanto bring you to a state of being half asleep; You’re not entirely sure when Rintaro finally does come home, but there’s a new movie playing, and Kaiya leaps off the couch excitedly.

“Daddy!”

You hear bags drop and your eyes open exhaustedly in an attempt to greet him, but the heaviness in them lingers as you try to keep them open. You hear Rintaro shushing Kaiya softly, followed by a few plants of wet kisses on her cheek. There’s murmurs of conversation, and you hear Rintaro’s steps coming closer as you stretch. “Hey babydoll; stay comfy, I’ll come get you in a bit.”

“Gotta get the chicken for tomorrow…”

“Huh?”

Kaiya giggles, “mumma still sleeping.”

“Guess so,” he chuckles. He plants a kiss to your head, mumbles to Kaiya to do the same, and your mind is so buried in its exhaustion to process even getting up to greet your man. “Come on Kaiya. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Okay daddy!”

There’s no footsteps that you can process, but you do hear one final thing that has you curling into the warmth of your blanket in search of his embrace.

“Mommy really is beautiful, isn’t she stink?”

“Mumma’s bootiful!”

—-

If my life ain’t this ion want it

[wosoamazing]

Diagnosis

Alessia x Child!R - Part 1 of the Diabetes & Love Series Warnings: Hospitals, Diabetes, Mild Sickness

A/N: My New Series, it will have three main parts and then just blurbs and oneshots, so if you have any requests let me know (either just general kidfic things or requests surrounding the diabetes) - and thank you to @alotofpockets for the help

“That’s the third time she has wet herself today,” Your Mum told Lotte, as she rocked you slightly, looking down at you noticing you had fallen asleep, you looked so fragile compared to usual, your eyes puffy from crying and your blanket wrapped around your body, your head rested on her shoulder as your small hands clamped the fabric of the shirt she was wearing. Alessia had to look up at the ceiling briefly, to stop a tear falling down her cheek, and Lotte knew her friend wasn’t okay.

“Would it help you if we took her to the hospital?” You Mum nodded hesitantly before shaking her head, “she hasn’t been herself recently, Less, I agree, especially today, lets just go get her checked out and calm our minds,” the blonde nodded before she placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, “I’m just going to grab a few things we may need, you stay with peanut, don’t worry about it.”

“I might actually go put her in a pull up, that way we don’t have to worry about that and it might make her more comfortable,” Alessia said, gaining a nod from the other girl before she walked into her bedroom.

-

You whined at the loss of contact when your Mum placed you on her bed. “It’s okay bubba, Mummy is just going to put a pull up on you, because we are going to take you to the hospital, so hopefully one of the doctors can help you,” she told you as she quickly returned to be beside you.

“No, no pull up,” you told her as you wiped your eyes sleepily.

“Bubba, I think a pull up is the best option, you’re going to be in the car for around an hour, which is a lot of time and if you have a pull up on you won’t have to worry about having another accident, but it’s up to you,” she looked at you as you clearly pondered the thought, before nodding slightly.

“All done,” your Mum told you as she picked you back up and held you to her chest, your blanket still wrapped around you, you dropped your head to rest on her shoulder and she carried you out the room and down to the car where Lotte was waiting for you. 

_____

“Lotte, sick,” you told her as you sat in her lap whilst your Mum spoke to the triage nurse, causing the women to stand up quickly and walk over to your Mum.

“Sorry for interrupting, but she said she is feeling sick now, so I was just wondering if you had a sick bag or something just encase,” 

“Yes of course, that's fine, but I’m actually going to get you guys to come straight through, but take this encase you need it,” The triage nurse spoke to them as she stood up.

“Mumma,” Alessia quickly plucked you out of Lotte’s arms and into hers, holding you tightly, you hadn’t called her Mumma in some time, “feel yucky,” you wined.

“I know, I’m so sorry, I wish I could make you feel better, I know it's yucky and not nice, but hopefully the doctors will be able to help you soon, I love you lots,” she bounced you whilst she walked down the hall. She sat down on the bed in the room you had all been directed too, she tried to turn you around in her lap so you would be facing the doctors who were now in the room but you wouldn’t have it.

“I’m sorry, normally she cooperates a lot better,” “It’s okay, she isn’t herself we understand, I’m Dr Olivia and this is Dr Alex, we’re just going to start with a finger prick at first and then we will look at putting in an IV and drawing blood,” your Mum nodded as she once again tried to get you to turn around.

“No,” you whined out, and your Mum let out a heavy sigh.

“Bubs, the doctors need you to face them so they can help you, what if I lie on my side and you can lie next to me on your back,” when you didn’t respond she started to shift and she managed to get it so you were lying on your back. 

It was a bit of an ordeal getting blood from you but eventually the doctors did before leaving you alone, saying they would be back soon, once they had left you quickly fell asleep.

-

After an hour a new doctor came in, sitting down on the stool, before looking at your Mum.

“We’ve got some news, she has Diabetes, Type 1, we’re going to get started on an insulin drip and get you admitted, you caught it just in time and thankfully she is only in the beginning stages of Diabetic ketoacidosis, more commonly referred to as DKA, we’ll most likely get her back to her normal self by the morning and we’ll start going through treatment options and emergency action plans. Do you have any questions?”

Alessia tried to speak but she couldn’t, “I’m s-sorry,” she managed to choke out.

“It’s okay, I understand it's a lot to take in, I’ll go get her admission sorted and we’ll move you to another room soon, if you have anything you want to ask me at any stage or any more concerns just press the call button and I’ll be right,” The doctor told your Mum before leaving.

“Less,” Lotte said as she stood up and slowly walked over to your Mum, “it’s going to be okay Less, you are both so strong, and me and the girls will be here with you every step of the way.”

_____

“Okay so there are a few options for CGMs and Insulin pumps, normally we would start of talking about the NHS provided ones, however if you would like we can absolutely give you the brochures for all of them and then go from there, we normally wouldn't offer this but just given your circumstances and health insurance we assume you would prefer to choose which one is best to you and your lifestyle than the cheapest ones,” your Mum nodded in response to the doctor and was handed about 10 different brochures, “feel free to look through them tonight, however if anything confused you don’t worry, we will go through it all tomorrow, most likely in the afternoon, we actually have an emergency diabetics class tomorrow morning which we will send you both too and then after that we will go through everything with you,”

_____

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, I’m just a bit-” Alessia said as she accidently walked into someone in the hall.

“Oh don’t worry, it's alright. You’re Alessia right?” The lady standing in front of her said, as she placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, and you’re? Sorry,” your Mum said as she shook her head slightly and released a heavy breath.

“Don’t worry, I’m Linda, how are you feeling?” 

“Overwhelmed, but I’ll get there,” Alessia told the women truthfully.

“I understand, this is our second time being here, our daughter was diagnosed a few years ago and now our son who is 3 has just been diagnosed. I can tell you though it does get easier, but it’s hard at the start, but you’ll get there, here have my number, if you ever want to talk to someone in the same position feel free to reach out, I have a feeling you need to be somewhere,” “Yeah sorry, my friends have said they’ll sit with my daughter during our next class so I just need to go get them,” Linda nodded before waving goodbye.

[lvnleah]

Leah’s pregnancy.

find the series masterlist here!

March 2031 | 7 & 2 years old.

6 weeks 

A few weeks later, you found yourself sitting in the familiar, sterile waiting room of the fertility clinic. The air was thick with anticipation, your hand intertwined with Leah's as she bounced her knee nervously. Her fingers trembled slightly in your grasp, a mirror of the anxiety that sat in your own chest.

This was the moment you had both been waiting for—the first ultrasound. 

It had been two weeks since you’d found out that Leah was pregnant and you were both a nervous wreck, to say the least. Neither of you had been sleeping, Leah panicked over every little twinge that she felt. 

Ellie and Finley were back at home with Amanda. Of course, they had both asked questions as to where you were going and why they couldn’t come with you. You had explained it was a "doctor’s visit for Mumma’s tummy," keeping things simple. If this went well, if you heard that precious sound, you'd tell them more.

Leah sighed as she turned her head towards you, “I don’t think I can do this, I can’t breathe.”

You squeezed her hand tighter before lifting it up to your mouth and placing a gentle kiss on it, “Everything will be okay.” You tried to reassure her. 

After a while, the nurse called Leah’s name, and the two of you stood up together. Leah’s grip on your hand tightened as you followed the nurse down the hallway, the beeping of machines and hushed conversations blending into the background. Each step felt heavier than the last as if the weight of everything was pressing down.

Inside the dimly lit room, the ultrasound machine hummed softly in the corner. Leah laid down on the exam table, her gaze locking onto yours as she lay back. You brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, offering her a small, reassuring smile. 

The technician came in, offering a warm smile as she prepped Leah’s stomach for the scan. “How are you both feeling today?”

“Nervous,” Leah admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

The technician nodded sympathetically. “That’s completely normal. We’ll take it one step at a time, okay? Let’s just see what we can find.”

The cool gel on Leah’s stomach made her shiver, and you instinctively reached for her hand again. The room was quiet, except for the low hum of the machine and the soft click of the keyboard as the technician began the scan. You watched the screen closely, holding your breath, waiting.

For a moment, there was only static, a sea of black and grey shapes that made no sense. Your heart raced in your chest, each second stretching out like an eternity.

And then… there it was.

A small flicker.

The technician smiled. “There they are, there’s your little baby.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at the screen. A heartbeat. Strong and steady. The sound of it filled the room, soft but undeniable.

Leah’s hand flew to her mouth as tears spilt down her cheeks. “Oh my God,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “That’s… that’s our baby.”

You couldn’t speak. The wave of emotion that hit you was overwhelming—relief, joy, disbelief, all crashing together at once. You blinked rapidly, trying to hold back your own tears, but it was useless. The sound of that heartbeat, that tiny, miraculous flicker, was everything you had been hoping for, everything you had been terrified of losing.

Leah turned to you, her eyes wide with awe. “There’s our bubba.”

You nodded, unable to form words as you leaned down to kiss her forehead. You finally managed to speak, your voice breaking. “Our bubba.”

The technician continued to move the wand around, measuring, checking, and making sure everything was as it should be. “Everything looks great for where you are, in fact, they’re actually measuring a few days ahead,” she said with a reassuring smile. “Congratulations, you two.”

Leah let out a soft laugh, a sound so full of disbelief and relief that it nearly broke you all over again. “I didn’t think we’d ever get here.”

You squeezed her hand tighter, your heart swelling with love and pride. “We did. Our little bubba.”

Leah nodded, her eyes never leaving the screen. “I’m so scared,” she whispered. “But I’m so happy.”

You kissed her hand, “I know. Me too. But we’ve got this, Le. We’re going to be okay.”

As you sat there, listening to the steady thrum of your baby’s heartbeat, the world outside seemed to fall away. All the fears, all the losses, all the sleepless nights filled with doubt—they were still there, but they felt smaller now. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

10 weeks. 

The morning sickness had hit Leah hard. Every day seemed to be a battle with nausea, and today was no different. You came back from the school run to find her sitting on the bathroom floor, her back against the wall, breathing heavily. She had her knees drawn up to her chest, a washcloth pressed to her forehead.

You knelt beside her, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “How are you feeling?” you asked, even though you already knew the answer.

Leah groaned softly, leaning her head back. “Like I’m on a boat in the middle of a storm.”

You offered her a small, sympathetic smile. “I’ll make some toast. Maybe that’ll help.”

She gave a half-hearted nod, though neither of you really expected it to stay down. Still, you tried everything—ginger tea, crackers, and now toast.

A few minutes later, as you came back into the room with the toast, Leah sighed, accepting the plate with a small smile. “I didn’t actually expect it to be this bad. God knows how you did this twice, especially with your HG.”

You sat down next to her on the floor, leaning your shoulder against hers. “You’re doing great. And hey, it’ll all be worth it in a few months.”

Leah managed a weak smile, though her eyes were filled with exhaustion. “I know. It’s just hard to feel excited when I can barely keep water down.”

You pressed a kiss to her temple. “You’re incredible, Le. And I’m so proud of you. You’re doing amazing, even on the rough days.”

She looked at you, her eyes softening. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You won’t have to find out,” you whispered, brushing her hair back as you kissed her again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

20 weeks. 

The anticipation in the room was palpable as the ultrasound technician moved the wand over Leah’s belly. At 20 weeks, this scan wasn’t just about checking on the baby’s health—it was also the moment you’d both been waiting for to find out whether you’d be welcoming another little girl or boy into your family.

Leah squeezed your hand as the technician smiled at the screen. “Everything looks perfect,” she said, and you both let out a breath of relief.

“Do you want to know the gender?” the technician asked, “I can tell you right now.”

You’d both agreed on having an intimate gender reveal and not a big fancy one like before. It was your last baby so you wanted to treasure everything. 

Leah looked at you, her grip tightening. “You ready?”

You nodded, heart pounding. “Let’s do it.”

The technician turned the screen toward you and Leah, pointing to a small detail you couldn’t quite make out. “It’s a girl.”

A girl.

You laughed, the sound bubbling out of you before you could stop it. Leah let out a breathless gasp, tears filling her eyes. “Another girl…”

You leaned down, kissing Leah’s forehead as she wiped away her happy tears. “Ellie’s going to have a sister.”

Leah laughed through her tears, her hands resting on her belly. “She’s going to be so excited. A little girl.”

Later that evening, as you sat in the living room with Finley and Ellie, the excitement of the day still buzzing between you and Leah, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of telling them. Finley was busy playing with his action figures on the floor, while Ellie sat on Leah’s lap, lazily flipping through a picture book. You exchanged a glance with Leah, who gave you a small, excited nod.

"Hey, Fin, Ellie," you said softly, drawing their attention. “We have something we want to tell you.” 

Finley looked up, his curiosity piqued. "What is it?"

Leah smiled as she kissed the top of Ellie’s head. “Remember how we said you were going to have a baby brother or sister soon?” she asked.

Ellie, with her wide eyes, nodded eagerly. "Is bubba here?" she asked, her voice full of innocence.

"Not yet," you chuckled. "But we did find out if the baby is a boy or a girl today."

Finley sat up, his action figures forgotten. “You did? Is it a boy or girl?!”

You and Leah shared a look, “You’re going to have a little sister.”

Ellie’s face lit up immediately, her little hands clapping excitedly. “A sister! Yay!” She wrapped her arms around Leah’s belly in a sweet, clumsy hug. “Hi, baby sister!”

Finley let out a cheer, jumping up from the floor. “Yes! A sister!” He did a little fist pump, his face beaming with joy. “I knew it! I knew it was going to be a girl!”

Leah laughed as Ellie squealed and hugged her belly, “Baby sister!” Ellie said happily, her bunny bouncing in her grip. “I’m going to have a sissy!”

Finley bounced on his toes, his excitement contagious. “I’m going to teach her so many cool things! I can’t wait to show her all my toys and read her stories, and we’ll have so much fun!”

Leah looked at him with a proud smile. “She’s going to be so lucky to have you as her big brother, Fin.”

He grinned wide, practically bursting with excitement. “Yeah, and Ellie, too! We’ll both teach her everything!”

Ellie giggled, hugging Leah’s belly again. “I’ll show her my bunnies!”

You smiled, wrapping your arm around Leah as you watched Finley and Ellie’s pure joy fill the room. “She’s already the luckiest baby,” you said softly to Leah.

Leah’s eyes glistened with emotion as she placed a hand over yours on her belly. “She really is.”

Another little girl was on the way, and she was already so loved.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

28 weeks. 

Leah sat cross-legged on the bed, a half-eaten watermelon in her lap, tears streaming down her face. You had been folding laundry nearby when you noticed her crying, and you rushed over, worried.

“Le? What’s wrong?” You asked panickedly, “Is it the baby? Are you in pain?”

She looked up at you, her lip trembling as she sobbed. “I feel huge. My body… I don’t recognize myself anymore. And I’m crying over watermelon, for God’s sake!”

You sat down next to her, wrapping your arm around her shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay to cry. You’re carrying a whole human. That’s a lot of work.”

Leah sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “I just… I don’t feel beautiful anymore. Everything’s changing, and I can’t control it.”

Your heart ached at the sight of her so upset. You took the watermelon from her lap, setting it aside, and cupped her face gently. “Leah, you are beautiful. Your body is amazing—it’s growing our daughter. And I know it’s hard, trust me I hated my body while pregnant, but you’re still the most beautiful woman in the world to me.”

She looked at you, her tears slowing as your words began to sink in. “You really think so?”

You nodded, brushing your thumb across her cheek. “I know so. You’re stunning, Le, inside and out. And I’m so in awe of you every single day.”

Leah let out a shaky laugh, resting her head on your shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, pretty girl.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

33 weeks. 

“Okay we all need to be quiet when we go in,” You whispered to Finley and Ellie as you slid the key into the door. “Mumma’s really tired growing baby sister so she’s napping on the sofa.”

When you left to pick Finley and Ellie up from school, Leah was fast asleep on the sofa. She was now 33 weeks and the exhaustion was getting worse. You remembered what it was like from your own two pregnancies. 

“Okay, Mummy!” Ellie nodded. 

You pushed the door open as quietly as possible, ushering Finley and Ellie inside. Finley dropped his backpack by the door and tiptoed in, while Ellie clutched her favourite stuffed bunny, her face serious as she tried to be quiet.

The house was dim, the soft afternoon light filtering through the curtains. You turned the corner into the living room, expecting to see Leah still fast asleep on the couch where you'd left her. Instead, she stirred, her eyes fluttering open when she heard the soft patter of feet approaching.

“Mmm... you're back,” Leah mumbled sleepily, her hand resting on her rounded belly. She smiled as she caught sight of the kids, her face lighting up despite her exhaustion. “Hi, my bubbas.”

“Sorry we woke you,” you whispered as you sat beside her, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple.

“It’s okay,” she replied, her voice soft but filled with sleep. She held out a hand to Finley and Ellie, who eagerly climbed onto the couch to snuggle up to her.

“Mumma, are you feeling better?” Finley asked, his small hand resting protectively on her belly.

Leah smiled down at him, brushing a hand through his hair. “A little, bubba. I think baby sister’s making me extra tired today.”

Ellie, now sitting on Leah's other side, gently patted her belly with a frown that was identical to Leah’s. “Baby sister needs to be nice to Mumma!” she said, her face scrunched up with concern.

You couldn't help but laugh at her words. “She does, doesn't she?” 

Leah yawned and shifted a little, making space as she pulled the kids closer. “Why don’t you guys lie down with me for a bit? Mumma could use some extra cuddles.”

Finley didn't need to be told twice. He immediately snuggled into her side, his eyes already starting to droop. Ellie climbed up more slowly, her small body nestling between Leah and you, her bunny clutched tightly in her arms.

You watched as Leah’s eyes fluttered closed again, her breathing deepening. Within moments, the soft sound of both Finley and Ellie’s gentle snores filled the room, and the three of them bundled up together on the couch. Leah’s hand rested protectively over her belly, her fingers occasionally brushing over the small kicks and movements of your unborn daughter.

The house felt still, peaceful. You knew moments like this wouldn’t last long, but you relished the quiet togetherness of it, watching over your little family as they napped, knowing you’d do anything to keep them safe and loved.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

37 weeks. 

Leah sat on the edge of the bed, her hands resting on her belly, and sighed deeply. Her shoulders slumped, and for a moment, she just stared at the floor. You could tell something was off the moment you stepped into the bedroom. 

She was 37 weeks now. You knew she had been getting more uncomfortable over the past couple of weeks as she reached the end of her pregnancy. Her stomach was swollen and she was starting to miss her old body, she was itching to get back onto the pitch again. 

You approached her slowly, careful not to startle her. “Hey, babe, you okay?”

Leah let out a shaky breath, one hand moving to her lower back as she winced. “I’m just…so done,” she muttered, her voice cracking. “I can’t sit, I can’t stand, I can’t sleep. Everything hurts, and I’m so tired.”

You could see her fighting to hold it together, but the strain on her face said it all. You knelt in front of her, gently resting your hands on her knees. “I know, love. It’s hard, isn’t it? You’re doing so well.”

Her eyes welled up, and she tried to blink the tears away, but they spilt over anyway. “I feel so useless. I can't even pick up Finley or Ellie anymore, and I hate that. I just want to feel normal again!”

The tears came faster now, her words tangled with sobs. You could see how much it was breaking her down, and your heart ached for her. Leah was usually strong, but pregnancy had stripped her of so much control, and now, this was her breaking point.

You stood up, gently guiding her to lie back on the bed. Sitting beside her, you wrapped your arms around her, pulling her close. Her head rested on your shoulder as she cried quietly, her body shaking with each sob. 

“You’re not useless, Leah,” you whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from her damp cheek. “You’re carrying our baby, and that’s everything.”

“I just feel so guilty,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I want to be the mum they need, but all I can do is lie here.”

You kissed the top of her head and ran your fingers through her hair. “Finley and Ellie adore you. They don’t care if you’re not chasing them around right now. They just want you close.” You paused, your voice gentle but firm. “You’re already doing so much just by being here with us. And this—this hard part—it’s temporary.”

Leah sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know. But it just feels endless.”

You nodded, holding her tighter. “I remember feeling the same way when I was pregnant with Finley and Ellie. It’s overwhelming. But I promise you, it’s almost over. You’re so close to the finish line.”

Leah let out a long, shaky breath. “I just want to hold her. I want her here already.”

“I know, love. So do I,” you murmured, placing a hand on her belly, feeling the faint kicks of your baby girl beneath your palm. “She’ll be here before we know it.”

Leah closed her eyes, leaning into your touch, her breathing slowly evening out. “I’m sorry for falling apart,” she whispered.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologise for anything,” you reassured her, pressing another kiss to her forehead. “You’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling. It’s a lot. But you’re not alone, okay? I’m here with you, every step.”

She nodded against your shoulder, her fingers gently intertwining with yours. For a long while, you stayed like that—quiet, wrapped up in each other, her breathing slowly calming.

Eventually, Leah whispered, “Thank you. I needed this.”

You smiled softly, stroking her hand. “You’re doing amazing, Le. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, pretty girl,” she said. She shifted slightly, finding a more comfortable position against you, and you could feel some of the tension leave her body.

“I’m going to stay right here,” you whispered. “We’ll get through this together. Only a few more weeks till our bubba is here.”

[shanti-ashant-hai]

bai guys i now have to suffer through breakfast that my momis practically gonna be stuffing in my mouth until my stomach bursts

what the fuck is life

[harrysmimi]

Boo-Boo Away

Synopsis: One where Harry's left alone with two kinds under two as his wife rests on a sick day

Dadrry Fic

More of my work

Harry loves his family.

Without help he was loosing his mind. All of his family is sick from flu. It really started from him, then his wife got sick one of the the kid is breastfeeding.

Bea, the twenty month old and Maeve the two month old were grumpy and moody since last night. Both the parents stayed up to tend to their kids. But YN got even more sick this morning, and she was advised to take rest by her doctor.

Been given birth just two months ago via C-section has already taken a huge toll on her. So, Harry took it upon himself to make YN take a nap and the littlest was all fed and bundled up and fast asleep as well.

Maeve was being difficult to put to sleep, it took him all of a hour and half just rocking her to sleep but it was worth it the moment she fell asleep and he put her next to her Mumma on her bed. She seems to be a little too young to be sick but she's doing the best out of three of the ladies.

Bea could walk, sprint even, so she followed her dad around the house with her blankie dragging behind her as he did the chores. He'd warned the little girl that she could trip and fall with her blankie dragging behind her.

"Princess you will trip like that." He tried to have her hold her blankie in a way she wouldn't fall, bundled up in her arm. But she threw a tantrum. She was adamant to drag it around with her. "Okay, okay, you can have it as your wish." He surrendered.

He placed all of Maeve's clean laundry in the basket as he ran another batch of both the girls clothes. He took the basket out To the kids' room. None of them slept in there, they both liked to sleep in their parents bed. Maeve especially, she is already bonded with her Mummy where as Bea always wants Papa with her.

"Papa." Bea called for him, showing him a toy she's been obsessed with lately. It was a yellow Lego building block. She showed him asking him to go play with her with the building blocks.

"That's so cool, baby." Harry engaged in little conversations with her. She went back out to the living room. "You're still obsessed with that one?"

"Mhmm." She nodded.

Both YN and Harry have been used to help by their Doula, who helped them both everything as YN healed from giving birth and the parents focused on bonding with their new baby. It was the same when Bea was born. But now that they're both on their own, the chores have become more challenging.

Especially for Harry today. He had to place each of his steps carefully, not wanting to kick his toddler like a football on accident.

As Harry placed the basket of clean laundry in the kids' room he walked out to a living room scattered with toys. They weren't just just limited to the play area but everywhere in the living room.

Harry wanted to cry.

But he left it at that, he doesn't want Bea to cry, and wake up her Mummy and little sister by that. He'd let be on her own until he's done with the dishes.

The little green eyed girl walked upto him again to show him a scribbly drawing of hers. Harry gave her some encouraging words as she walked back out.

She was still dragging that blankie around the house.

It wasn't until he heard a thud and a loud cry that sent him running outside. Bea had fallen down the two little steps which separated their kitchen and living room. She never missed those, it was definitely that dang blankie. Her cried were loud enough to have her sleepy Mummy get out to see her.

"What happened?" YN came running out too, her tired eyes just daring to shut closed again.

"Hey baby," Harry cooed as both the parents gathered around the toddler. "Did you get hurt?"

"Yes." She nodded as she cried, "here." She pointed at her knee which was obviously red.

"Can you move you leg for me?" YN asked and the girl did, "good baby. And again?"

"Hurt." She sniffled. "Hurt."

"I know baby, but we have to move your leg a little so it won't hurt as much." Harry assured her and made her bend her knee a couple of time carefully but apparently it still hurt.

"Boo-Boo away." She leaned onto her Mummy who was closer to her as her dad inspected her knee, "Boo-Boo away!"

"It's alright, see," Harry placed a delicate kiss on her joint and looked at his wife. "Kiss Boo-Boo away, Mummy." And her mummy did too.

"Why don't we go take a nap? With May-may too." YN suggested, "your Boo-Boo will go away after."

She usually just moves on, but given the toddler is sick her tiny body must already be aching already to add to her injury. Harry picked her up like a little doll she is and walked them to the master bedroom.

It was also when Maeve started to wake up all fussy too. It was hour past her feeding time, Harry didn't even realise that. But YN picked her up immediately and brought her to the bed. She lied down the baby as it was the most comfortable position to feed her. Harry placed Bea on the other side.

"May-may no!" Bea cooed as she gently stroked her sister's head. "Mumma, May-may hurt?"

"No, baby she's just hungry." YN explained, "why don't you just lay down, hmm? Cuddle with May-may and Mummy."

Bea lied down on her dad's side of the bed immediately. Making him jealous just as fast. He could use a nap too, he's been up all night and hasn't slept for even a blink. Since yesterday morning.

"Hey, you wanna join us?" YN asked as he was making his way around their bed to go out and finish up all the chores.

"I've got dishes to wash," he shared.

"We can do that later, take a nap with us." YN pressed so he can take some rest too. And he's just recovered from a flu. "Come on!"

"Okay, okay." He walked back to his side and lied on his side.

It was bit crowded with two babies, but it's cosy. Maeve sleeps in the cot kept in her parents room because she's just too small to be on her own. And her older sister likes to sleep right in between her parents on their bed. It is warm and cosy and safe feeling. But when she's in mood she'll demand to sleep in the nursery, in her own bed. And there also another crib in the parents room where Harry would eventually move Bea too. Especially when she's kicking her dad in stomach and face there.

Bea scooted closer to her dad, using his bicep as her pillow she buried herself in his chest for cuddles. It was quiet. Bea asleep and Maeve still having her milk.

The littlest one was drifting in and out of her sleep there, it was so adorable as she smiled and tiniest dimples popped up on her chubby and fluffy cheeks. And she go right to sucking onto her mum's boob until she was breathless. A hungry, hungry little human she is.

"She's running a marathon." Harry whispered and chuckled softly. He doesn't want Bea to wake up. He moved her to the crib carefully.

Only so her fever doesn't go up with her warming up too much. And they can't turn up the AC too much as all of the girls have cold too. He picked up the baby when she was done eating too, and burped her before she was back in her cot too. He sighed seeing how peaceful both of their babies were sleeping. Finally getting the rest they need.

"Now come here, will you?" Now his wife was demanding his attention. And he obliged. He pulled in closer to his chest there.

"You know I love our babies, but I miss our time alone." He shared.

"Awh!" YN cooed, "we can have alone time after they've recovered from flu."

"Mhmm." He sounded tiredly, "hate to see them that way. Bea has been to grumpy since last night."

"Give her a break, she's still a baby." YN chuckled.

"I know, I know." He nodded, "I'm just jealous they get all your time now."

"They get all your time too!"

"Well..." He laughed, "touch��."

"Yeah!" YN got all defensive.

"Once you're all recovered, we're gonna it a good few days, the kiddos can go live with my mum for the weekend and we can go to our villa." He layed a rough plan knowing well it could go wrong anyday, anytime.

"You know both of them haven't been to our home in Italy yet?" YN reminded him.

"Need to get their passports sorted then we can take them there for Christmas, yeah?" He suggested, "till then you and I can have some us time there."

"Yeah we can." She smiled. "I love you."

"And I love you more." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

......................................................................

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[ramayantika]

Told my mumma about hostel life, all the gossip and esp about this one room mate who kinda gives me backhanded compliments.

Well it's tumblr i will overshare lol. Here you go.

1. So I had edited a reel for my family trip and there was a clip where I was laying on the bed and my hair was open. It was windy so my hair was flying a little and it looked very good, like those old heroines leaving hair open with the wind. This room mate, we will call her Pinki, she saw it and said: Yeh tu hai? Tu kabse itni sundar dikhne lagi?

2. And then one point when I was new to everyone, I decided to share my writings with her because I found out she writes too, only for her to say: Yeh tune likha hai? Tu itna acha likh sakti hai? Kabse? Woman could simply smile or say acha hai ya jo bolna hai bolke jati bc aise kon bolta hai.

3. I have acne. Hormonal hai and periods ke 1 week pehle I breakout more baki time small pimples and open pores. And many a times she will come and tell me tu doctor ko dikha na. Yeh red kya hai? Oh naya pimple. Yeh kaise hua? Tera itna kyu hai? And believe me, my 6th grader self would have cried, but now I actually don't care about acne much. Meri mumma ka bhi same tha and so is mine. Her skin cleared up in 20s so she told me thoda wait karo apne aap ho jayega and I am pretty confident in my looks actually.

4. So I generally don't like much people on my class. Boys are shit with their misogynistic minds and well the girls are nice, decent enough but even there there is a whole different thing going around. Anyway, so in class, there was a public speaking opportunity, I grabbed it. The whole class got shocked about it because oooh the quiet girl in the class can speak. Many came up to compliment me. But Miss Pinki decided to give her intro while throwing shade over my activities. Like me living by a planned google calendar, me prioritising my dance and studies because acc to her college life mein mauj masti = gossip, pranks and outings. Bc sabke alag tareeke hote hai mazak masti karne ka. Then she decided to compare my lifestyle vs hers in her intro and God the way I felt embarrassed, partially for myself and the remaining for her

5. Tends to interrupt me when I am talking to someone. Another sweet friend of mine asked if all was good with my bf because she hadn't talked to me much because she is in a different branch. I was about to anwer when Miss Pinki decides to say kuch acha nahi chal raha bass durr se hi acha lagta hai. Mera toh jo haal hai puch mat.

7. One time I was teaching a friend about an app which I had taught to Pinki too. Pinki after gossiping with the boys hostel (now that's a whole different tea and our girl is delusional) decides to interrupt me halfway, takes away the laptop and then continues teaching her as if I am fucking invisible.

In conclusion, mumma told me that you focus on studies and dancing. Go with the other girls and since you have made new friends with the dance society too, meet up with them too.

[lavenderstars-blog]

Unexpected | Kylian Mbappè

Pairings: Kylian × reader [oc].

Summary: You are pregnant unexpectedly, with your third child. Your journey of giving birth to your unexpected baby who looks like a perfect mixture of you and kylain

Tags: #kylian ×reader[oc]#fluff #dad kylian #Big family #Mbappè family #pregnancy journey #baby boy# siblings # kylian fanfic # mention of birth #regular check up.

You are currently in your bathroom sitting on the edge of the bathtub waiting for the result. Beads of sweat forming on your head you are stressed about the result.

You have been experiencing some symptoms like dizziness, nausea and food cravings, and it looks like pregnancy symptoms so you decided to take a pregnancy test.

You and kylian got intimate last time was when your kids were at their grandparents house for a sleepover it was around a week ago.

If you turned out to be pregnant it would be unexpected since this was not planned and it would really change a lot of things.

Lots of thoughts are going inside your brain right now. You didn't really told kylian that you are taking a test because you didn't really want to get his expectations high.

As you were thinking all of this the alarm which you set ringed indicating its time to check the test. Your heart beats fasten.

With your trembling hands you picked up the pregnancy test, your eyes brimmed with tears.

You gasped after seeing the two lines indicating that you are pregnant again, and your palm went to cover your mouth, tears fell from your eyes. You couldn't imagine that you are going to be a mother again.

Your baby is in your womb, you placed your hands on your stomach.

"mumma loves you my baby. "

You quickly washed your hands in the sink and took the pregnancy test with you outside the restroom. You went to kylian with the pregnancy test in your hand.

You showed the pregnancy test to kylian at first he was confused on why do you have a pregnancy test but then he realized and asked you, confirming his doubts if its true that you'repregnant To which you nodded in response.

Yn: We're going to be parents soon. Kylian hugged her tightly and kissed all over her face and in the last he crouched down and placed a gentle kiss on her stomach caressing it and saying.

Kylian: Come soon my little champ, dadda is waiting for you.

Kylian kissed you on your lips saying he is the luckiest person to have you and his kids.

_________________________________________

It's been 6 months when you got to know about your third pregnancy.

Your kids were so excited for a little sibling, but they were very impatient it took a lot of time for you and kylian to make them understand that their sibling will come after nine months.

Your eldest is currently six years old and your middle one is three years old and the youngest is on his way.

When you guys told your family about this they were shocked. But everyone was very happy.

Today is your doctors appointment, you got ready with kylian, today the kids grandma is coming to babysit them so you and kylian left for the clinic.

When you guys reached there you felt very anxious and nervous because of the pregnancy hormones.

Seeing you anxious kylian held your soft hands and assured you.

The doctor was doing your check up, she applied the gel on your stomach, you felt the similar cold feeling, she was doing your ultrasound, kylian held your hand.

She asked if we wanted to know the gender of the baby. I looked towards kylian and then we both declined, saying we would like to keep it as a suprise.

It was same with both your kids, you guys didn't wanted to know the gender of your baby beforehand.

So when gave birth you got to know the gender of your baby.

She nodded and prescribed me some medicine and told me to take alot of rest. And assured us saying that the baby is perfectly fine.

_________________________________________

It's the time you need to gave birth, your water just broke.

But both you and kylian are calm, Beacause you guys have experienced this two times before.

Since it's your third time you know what will happen that's why your very calm.

You and kylian got into the car and drove off to the hospital. Your parents were taking care of your kids at home.

~~

You just gave birth an hour ago, you gained your conscious just now and saw kylian sitting beside your bed, you asked him about the baby and he said the doctors have taken him for the check up.

You gave birth to a little boy, he looks a little like you and a little like ky. You can say he is a perfect mixture of you both. Another symbol of your love.

His eyes are the exact copy of you with honey brown colour, and his hair is just like kylian, which you love caressing so much.

The nurse came with your baby and gently gave him to you.

She said the baby is very healthy. You and kylian were observing your little baby. You carresed his face and kissed him on his cheeks and forehead.

His face looked so calm, you wish you could stop this moment here.

The nurse asked you both, regarding the naming of the baby. " And what did you guys decided "

Kylian and yn both stared into eachothers eyes, communicating through their eyes, and they whispered softly. "Kyle mbappè "

In hearing the name, the baby Kyle opened his eyes, fluttering them, making his parents heart filled up with contentmant.

Kyle's older siblings are on their way to meet their little brother.

You informed your parents and they are coming to the hospital with the kids. The kids are very excited to meet Kyle. They were thrilled to know their baby sibling has arrived after making them wait for so long.

The nurse said the baby needs skin to skin contact, kylian nodded at her, nurse left to give them privacy, as kylian removed his shirt and placed it properly, and came to you, you carefully passed kyle to him.

He took Kyle and placed him on his chest, holding gently, so to not hurt him. While you were admiring this beautiful scene infront of you. Kylian as a father always made you feel something which you can't describe in words.

Kylian was always best dad, but a strict one too. He loved spoiling the kids, but he was always the first in disciplining them.

Kylian was there for you in everything, if it would be possible he would have taken your pain also which you felt while giving birth.

You were recommended bed rest by your doctor in your last two months. Kylian helped you in everything. He was there with you even in the slightest things.

You guys never really thought of having a third child but guess what this is what life is unpredictable. But you are glad, because you get to experience this again.

[noonajoe]

When His Child Wants Him (Dad!Akaashi Keiji x Mom!Reader)

Genre: Lots of fluff! Video-call, Soft Dad Akaashi Keiji

Word Count: 563

©noonajoe (Published on 15 March 2023 - 20:10 Bangkok Time) this story is not going to be sold, modified, or translated in any manner.

*calling Akaashi Keiji*

“Yes, hon, what’s wrong?” Keiji asked.

“Keiji, I'm sorry, did I interrupt your work?” Y/N asked

“It's okay, I’m almost at the break, so what’s emergency, hon?” Keiji asked

Y/N suddenly turn the call into a video call.

Y/N’s face showed up while she’s carrying their son, Kaito. Kaito has a bad fever for 2 days, mostly crying when his dad’s not around.

“Dadda…” he sniffles in his sleepy face and raspy voice.

“Oh baby, are you okay, bud?” Keiji asked worriedly.

“Sorry honey. He’s not stopped crying since you left the house. I already brought him to the doctor and he was fine, but the crying was never-ending until I realize he was calling your name”

“Uh-huhu daddaa!” his face is getting lighter when he saw Keiji’s face move.

“His fever still hasn’t gone?” Keiji asked.

“Yeah, he’s been crying for hours now, and now he didn’t want to eat anything. I’m sorry hon, but could you help me by keeping the video call with him until your break ends?” Y/N asked with a tired face.

“I can help, but are you okay? I can ask my boss to take a half-day,”

“No need, Keiji, this is the second time he’s whining about you. He needs to learn that his dad is working” Y/N put the tab in Kaito’s baby desk so he can see Keiji by himself.

“I guess that is something you must patiently teach a 1-year-old about ‘work’ honey.” he chuckled.

Y/N went to the kitchen with a tired face and didn’t mind what’s Keiji’s last words on the phone. She needs to prepare Kaito’s food.

“Uh! Uh! Dadda Abu-bubu” Kaito babbled around

“Are you happy now, Kaito?” Keiji asked from the screen.

“Dadda dadda mumma!” he's happy when he heard Keiji’s voice.

“Kaito, you shouldn’t be bad to your mom,” Keiji said.

“Ba-ba? Kaito Ba-ba?” he tried to copy Keiji’s words.

“Yes, Dadda will be home early today., but Kaito should be good with Mama until Dadda goes home” 

“Uh-huh Gu-gu” he clapped his hand.

“Okay, Kaito. Now dadda wants you to go mommy there and hug her. Huggie huggie. Remember?” Keiji shows his son hugging himself, indicating Kaito needs to hug his mom.

“Huggie?” Kaito tries to copy his dad’s pose from the screen.

“Yes, mama there” he showed Y/N’s photo. Kaito turns his head and sees his mom.

Kaito crawls to his mom and tried to reach his mom’s skirt. When you look at him, he’s sitting, opens his arms, and indicates he wants to hug her.

When she saw him with a puppy face, expressing “I’m sorry to make your day hard mama”. She just smiles, hugged him, and rubbed his back.

Keiji smiled when he saw that lovely scene on the screen

He took a screenshot of Y/N and Kaito hugging on his phone.

Suddenly, he felt an intense quiet around him.

When Keiji turns his head, all of his co-workers are looking at him

“Mr. Akaashi, you’re soooo sweet to your wife,” one of them tells him.

“Yeah, you even didn’t mad during this tight deadlines, your son has to take that from you when he grows up”

“Sorry guys I think I made a good disturb before our break” Keiji apologized, he didn’t realize that he was too focused on taking care of his family even over long distances.

[legoflowrs]

HEADCANNONS

c/w: drinking, drugs, addiction, abuse, slight nsfw

AGED UP TO 18 MY PEOPLE!!!!

A/N: ok so in the headcannons he’s with Stan cause Style is very dear to my heart but in the relationship headcannons he’s with reader xx

Kyle Broflovski

- Massive fucking NERD!! (pls i love nerds).

- Got straight A’s throughout high school.

- Was on the honour roll and was on student council.

- Firm believer in basketball Kyle supremacy.

- Came out as Demisexual and Bisexual (male leaning).

- Stopped being super strict on Kosher throughout high school but kept that a secret from Sheila.

- Never stopped being insecure about his nose. Literally at one point started saving for a nose job till Stan talked him out of it.

- Drinks almond milk.

- Thinks thrifting is gross cause he’s a germaphobe. Washes his hands like 50 times a day.

- When I hear the song Basic Instinct it reminds me of Kyle.

- The Smiths > The Cure.

- Style: Stan fell first, Kyle fell harder (bro i love these dweebs lol).

- Was legit so in denial about being in love with Stan for the longest time.

- His Dad pushed him to study law but he ended up studying psychology to become a child psychologist because he saw the effects of unchecked mental health in children while he grew up.

- Got really drunk once and Kenny pierced his septum. He has it flipped up most of the time.

- Hates glasses so wears contacts.

- Such a fkn mummas boy lol it honestly was a problem at one point.

- Didn’t do his own laundry till he moved out. Did not know how to put sheets on a bed 👍

- Such a good relationship with Ike, he would die for his little brother.

- Did someone say abandonment issues!!!! Could not keep a partner to save his life during high school.

- Smoked weed with Kenny twice and then freaked out after he greened out.

- Got addicted to nicotine during college and used it as an outlet because he put so much pressure on himself to be perfect. Spoke to his doctor and he’s trying to quit.

- Defs listens to Phoebe Bridgers because he has a strange relationship with his dad.

- His dad pushed him to be perfect all the time until Kyle had a massive breakdown in junior year that burnt him out for a long time.

- A family man!!! Wants kids pretty early on into his life.

- A god at poker.

- Hates taking photos of himself.

- Still pretty insecure about his hair but Kenny and Stan helped himself to accept it and even start taking good care of it.

- Really struggled with anger issues.

- Stopped speaking to Cartman completely.

- Forest green is his favourite colour.

- Writes poems and makes people cry with how nice his birthday card messages are.

- First out his friends to get a license. His parents paid for his car.

- Such a damn backseat driver.

- Didn’t really work until he moved out.

- I think he’d help Heidi out at the community gardens.

- After Heidi finally ended things with Cartman, her and Kyle became really close friends.

- Had a friendly academic rivalry with Wendy through high school.

- Him and Wendy study together in college often.

- Has a record player.

- Grew closer to Craig’s gang in senior year of high school. Goes record shopping with Tolkien.

- Very accident prone.

- Has diabetes.

- Loves picnics and simple activities like stargazing.

- Smells like pine needles and the ocean.

- Actually a fantastic swimmer.

- Did drama in sophomore year.

- A massive library in his house. Had to instil a book ban on himself because he was spending all his money on it.

- Really nice eyelashes.

- Comes home to celebrate Hanukkah with his family every year.

- Did long distance with Stan during college. They almost broke up a few times but pulled through.

- Enjoys taking pictures of nature.

- Takes Ike to the movies very often.

- Has the nicest knitted sweaters.

- His guilty pleasure is Taylor Swift.

- HE IS SO MIRRORBALL CODED.

- When he’s in a good mood he loves baking and often bakes for his friends.

- Kenny, Kyle and Stan do day trips together super often. In my world these three never grew apart they are inseparable 🤞🤞

Kyle in a relationship

- An absolute gentleman. Refuses to let you get out of his car without him opening the door for you. Holds doors and pulls out seats. Always gives you his jacket.

- Was very insecure about his sexual inexperience. But y’all guided each other through it. I think there’s something so sweet and special about that.

- Touch tank by quinnie is all I have to say 😼.

- Loves kissing your neck and ears. He kisses your knuckles as well it’s very tender.

- Combusts when he sees you getting along with his family. Especially his Mum and Ike.

- Let’s you touch his hair, it relaxes him a lot.

- Opens up to you about his struggle with his Dad and nicotine. You are his biggest supporter through it all.

- Even though he hates photos, he’ll have a polaroid of y’all in his phone and wallet. Plus a photo booth strip in his car.

- Y’all will bake at midnight together.

- You go on fancy dinner dates together and rate the restaurants in the car together.

- Avid Letterboxed users lol! Give each other show and movie recommendations all the time.

- Kyle always had trouble sleeping but there was something very comforting about your presence so he’ll spend a lot of time at your dorm.

- Writes poems for you.

- Brings you flowers every time the old bouquet dies (ugh what a man).

- BUYS YOU LEGO FLOWERS!!!

- His love languages are gift giving and quality time.

- Keeps a list of all the dates you’ve been on.

- Will take such good photos of you fr! Your biggest hype man.

- I think his short temper would be a problem for you guys but he loves you so much he works on it so hard.

- Your praise means the absolute world to him.

- You guys always go to carnival together and share a caramel apple, it’s like tradition now.

- Couples costume for halloween always.

- Asks for your Dads/Mums/Guardians blessing before he proposes to you.

- Loves the smell of your perfume/cologne. Like it’s seriously intoxicating.

- Proposes to you with his Grandmas ring.

a/n: guys i love kyle so much i’m gonna make his mood board now <3

also if any of these are ooc in ur opinion it’s just for funsies and my opinion hehe

[sister-lucifer]

when i get i get sad but then i remember mumma and papa and bri bri and al and mr hodek and uncle doctor man and aunt gigi and and bestie corvus and stink boy rogers and lovey spoons and and mx sorrow and and the and all of my friends and family and the the and the and

[cami-stuffs]

Pushing Towards You

Chapter 1: Back to Nevermore

Calista was in the middle of a meeting when a message came in. It was from her ex-wife, Gaia.

"G: Hey. I have some news. Let me know if you are free to have dinner with us tonight"

By us, she means her and your teenage daughter, Ártemis. Before you can answer, Ártemis texts you as well.

"A: Hey, mum. Mumma G wants to have dinner with us tonight. She said she had big news to share. I hope you can make it. Love you."

"C: See you later, babe. Miss you and Love you." You answered to your daughter.

Only then do you remember to reply to Gaia.

"C: Hey. It settled. I'll be taking the dessert. See you."

Calista was a pharmacist. She is a professor at the University of North Carolina, where she graduated and received her doctorate. She was also an outcast, although her colleagues didn't know about this part of her life. It took a bit of effort to hide what she was since telekinesis was a power that came to a hand sometimes. Nevertheless, Calista was aware of the relationship between normies and outcasts. That was a constant subject of discussion with Gaia, who never missed the chance to express her thoughts about how normies are arrogant and prejudiced.

Gaia was a botanist whose powers involved mimicking plants' essence and features as long as she was in contact with them at least once. For that, she had a free spirit and mind. This freedom included the speech of her thoughts and her feelings toward people no matter what. Calista admired her ex-wife for being so herself, but this wasn't enough to keep the marriage going. Over the years, the differences became too apparent. For the sake of their daughter, they decided on a friendly divorce and maintain a healthy relationship. 

Consequently, having dinner together weekly became a tradition, especially when one had something to share with the other two. Tonight was no different, and Calista was heading to Gaia's apartment with the promised dessert. Ringing the bell, she heard a yelling from inside.

"It's open! Come on in!". Gaia was in front of the oven, finishing what looked like a Spaghetti Carbonara.

"Hey, you!" You greeted her. "Hmm...That smells delicious." You simply loved good pasta.

"Well, since I was the one who sent the invitation, I felt the need to spoil my two Italian girls!" Gaia said, smiling at you.

"I'm not your girl anymore, but thank you anyway." You replied.

"Yeah, yeah... Sorry about that. It's just a habit." Gaia said, blushing lightly. 

"That's ok. And where is Ártemis?" You asked, changing the subject.

"In the shower. She just came back from the gym. I guess all these exercises are making her feel better. She seems so relaxed!" Gaia pointed out. Ártemis had a bad year at school. Turning fifteen brought some unpleasant changes in her point of view, but expected ones in her mothers'.

"That's awesome. It makes me glad to see her feel better about herself. But I've been thinking, and I guess it's time for us three to consider Nevermore an option for her education. After all, we both studied there. It is the right place for outcasts. I know is far away, and we will miss her,  but..." Calista was interrupted by her daughter entering the room.

"Hey, mumma C! How are you? Who are you going to miss?" Ártemis asked, embracing her mother from behind.

"Hey, my precious. I was just saying to your mumma G about sending you to...Wow!" Turning around to face Ártemis, Calista was startled by her height. "I swear that you look higher since the last time I put my eyes on you, and It's been what? A couple of days?" Ártemis was indeed taller, and that growing-up speediness was one of the reasons why she felt so uneasy lately.

"Yeah...Well, I am taller,  yes. But, as you can see, I am also stronger!" She said playfully, exhibiting her muscles.

"I can see! My pretty little monster!" You replied, laughing at her.

"So...what were you two talking about?" Ártemis asked, sitting on a stool in the kitchen.

"I was just telling your mother that maybe It's time for you to study at Nevermore." Calista said, looking from Ártemis to Gaia, seeking support. 

"Wait...are you serious? Oh my goodness, thank you!" Ártemis jumped out of the stool and held her mother close in a tight hug. Calista searched for Gaia's great green eyes, waiting for her to say something. "Are you both aware I would be almost a thousand miles away from home? By my own! Is it okay?" Ártemis asked, stepping back.

"I was saving all this conversation for after the dinner, but you two are in a hurry to discuss this. So, I called you both today to announce that I am the new Botany Professor at Nevermore Academy!" Gaia was beaming in joy. Returning to their old school was in her life plans after graduation, but marriage and Ártemis made her delay it. 

"Heeey... What a great news, mom! Congratulations!" Ártemis hugged Gaia.

"Well done, G! What an achievement! A whole life dream. I'm proud of you!" Calista cheered her ex-wife, indeed. 

"Thank you for the support. From both of you! I was interviewed by the deputy headmaster last week after I applied for the position. And today, the big news came!" Gaia was beyond happiness. "That's why I wanted to talk to you. As a member of the school staff and a mother, Ártemis has a vacancy there. And I agree with you, Calista. Nevermore is the right place for her, for all outcasts, in my opinion." Gaia completed.

Dinner time passed smoothly. Calista decided to go on vacation to help Gaia and Ártemis move to Vermont. Ártemis was thrilled about going to a school for outcasts. She wanted to know all about the school. Her two mothers happily fulfilled such a task. They told her about the school, the events Nevermore held, and their outcast fellows. When they mentioned their friends' powers, Ártemis became quiet and with a distant stare.

"Temis, darling, what is going on?" Calista was worried about her daughter's sudden change in mood.

"Do you think they gonna accept me? Me and my powers?" Ártemis asked Calista and Gaia. The mothers exchanged glances. 

"I must admit that we haven't met any shapeshifter back in our time, right, Calista?" Gaia reached for her ex-wife.

Calista has met a shapeshifter at Nevermore. Larissa Weems, her teenage crush. But Larissa made Calista promise never to tell anyone about her, so Calista never did. Including now. Seeing her daughter and her doubts about herself made Calista heartache, but Calista kept the promise. Shapeshifters were not well accepted, including among outcasts. Exposing one on behalf of the other was no use for Calista. But she came up with an idea. Maybe Larissa, wherever she is, could help Ártemis find herself and understand her powers. Making a mind note, Calista decided to call Larissa at another moment and ask her for assistance.

"Shapeshifters are rare. But we are very supportive at Nevermore. Rivalry and fights occur for common reasons, as with the normies. Powers are never used as a form of bullying. I am pretty sure you're going to fit in. Besides, if you don't feel confident enough to tell your friends about your powers, just don't. Take your time." Calista reassured her daughter. "In my opinion, you should be worrying about having your mother as your botany teacher." Calista joked. Ártemis bulged her eyes, suddenly remembering this "tiny" detail. 

"Oh my goodness! Mumma G, will you take it easy on me, please?" Ártemis pleaded with puppy eyes. 

"Have I ever taken?" Gaia smirked. 

"Not that I can recall." Ártemis seemed defeated.

"There you go, your answer, child. But I feel you won't need any help from me or anyone. " Gaia winked affectionately at her daughter. 

"Good luck with that, babe." Calista wished to Ártemis playfully. The dynamic between the two was very well-known for Calista. Gaia was stern to Ártemis. Ártemis was clever and skillful, but her low self-esteem stood in her way. She didn't trust herself. So Gaia tried hard to make Ártemis see her greatness. Sometimes, Gaia tried too hard. Keeping the balance between them was a role played by Calista. And now, with their departure, all she could do was wish good luck to both.

"Well...I think we call it a day. Tomorrow, I'll ask for my vacation and be free to help you guys pack." Calista declared. "Now, bed!" She pointed out to Ártemis.

"Can I have a hot chocolate before bed?" Ártemis required. 

"Hot chocolate? Really? After this marvelous dinner and a panna cotta for dessert?" Calista exclaimed incredulously. "I am still trying to figure out where this taste for hot chocolate comes from. It's not from me. I am sure." Calista pointed out. 

"It's a cozy drink, almost an affectionate one. I don't know why." Ártemis said dreamly.

"A whisky is a cozy drink for me," Gaia whispered. 

"Can I try it? Maybe I'll change my cozy drink." Ártemis asked, half playful, half expectant.

"Of course not! You're fifteen. I'll make you a hot chocolate, and then, bed!" Calista finished that strange conversation about cozy drinks.

Later, at home, Calista decided to call Larissa. It's been a while since they last spoke. She dialed the numbers and anxiously waited for Larissa to answer. 

Larissa Weems' answering machine: "Hello, you've reached Larissa Weems. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your message, and I'll return your call when I'm free. Thank You."

"Hey, Larissa. It's me, Calista. Calista Cos'Anto, by the way. It's been a while. Guess what! I have a daughter who is coming to Nevermore Academy this year. Can you believe it? Well, I'm calling to ask you for some help. I know I have disappeared since the last time we've seen each other, but only you can help. Ártemis, my daughter, is a shapeshifter, and you are the only shapeshifter I've ever met before her. Don't worry, I still keep my promise. No one knows about you. But Ártemis has trust issues and doesn't know how to control her powers. I was wondering if you could help her. I don't know if you are back in England or still live in the US. Call me back if you feel you can help me. I hope you are doing great. See you. Bye."

Well, that was it. There was no turning back. Calista's mind was spinning. Too many emotions for just one day. Her beloved daughter was going away; she had just sent a message to her former crush, and now she was returning to Nevermore, even if it was just for a few weeks.

She could barely wait to see her old school again and make sure it would be a home for her daughter as it was for her.

Chapter 2

[geenalovesthelittlethings]

Darcy being her inquisitive self, when missus is nearly the end of her second pregnancy and talking more about labour now, D would start asking “mumma how did the baby get in your belly? how is the baby gonna come out?” and missus and H would try their best to explain her everything in a simple way but without lying about anything

Oh they would definitely very honest and factual when she asks these kinds of questions! I guess it would depend on what kind of answer she's satisfied with.

I could see it going something like this because I can see her being the kid that wants a lot of info:

"Daddy's body makes sperm and Mumma's body makes eggs. Those are the two things you need to make a baby. When people decide to make a baby a sperm and egg find each other and that makes the baby. Then the baby grows inside my uterus which is like a little pouch for the baby to live in until they're born. And that's inside my belly. When the baby's ready to come out, the the muscles in my belly will squeeze and squeeze to help come out." And when she asks exactly where the missus follows up with, "Sometimes the baby will come out of someone's vagina and sometimes they come out through a special cut a doctor makes on a person's tummy to help the baby cone out."

They definitely don't shy away from telling her the answers to whatever she wants to know and they'd never hide anything from her. If she's old enough to ask, she's ready to know the answer. BUT YES she's definitely VERY curious about the whole process.

[weministertomonsters]

Piper And The Vampire

This (unfinished as per usual) story is 3.5k words long and heavily inspired by the Interview with The Vampire TV series, but whether that's obvious... Probably not.

─────────────── · · · · ✦

I was in a world of trouble that all began because one boy couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. But all stories have to start at the beginning if they are going to make any sense, so that's where we'll begin.

I was eleven when my father fell from his horse and got his head smashed in. He didn't last long, nobody can when your brain is turned to a pink pudding and won't stay in your head where it should be. I was the unlucky one who found him, and he was still moaning in the ditch with flies all buzzing around. I ran home, hollering the entire way.

"Mumma, it's Papa!" I yelled, crashing right into the kitchen.

She smacked her floury hands on her apron. "Where he at? Coming home from the bar? Still there and fighting again?"

"No, he's in the ditch. His head's all crumpled like a pumpkin someone forgot in the cellar."

She looked grim and vaguely sick like I had told her I'd found someone's cow sickening in the woods. "Good Lord help us," she said, picking up her skirt till I could see her brown shins.

She greased her legs and arms every morning with shea butter, and her skin shone as a result. She wasn't white-skinned and golden-haloed like the angels in the Big Church windows, but she was my angel. Tall, imperious, and often untouchable. Now she ran down the worn road leading from our cabin to the rest of the village. I followed her but she said over her shoulder, "Call the Doctor."

"I've already seen him, Mumma! Can't unsee that," I protested, eager to be a big girl.

"In case there's saving in him yet," she responded in a flurry of movement, disappearing down the hill.

Satisfied my Mumma wasn't trying to shield me from any perceived horror, I ran to get the Doctor. He didn't live far because, in such a small town, one person's backyard was another person's front yard. Even our house, which was considered "out of the way", was still visible from the middle of the town.

I could hear the Doctor say, "Geez, Louise, can't a man eat his supper in peace?" to his housekeeper as I thumped up the stairs and past the cocker spaniel on the porch and busted in through the grand blue door.

"The devil doesn't stop his deeds for anyone, Doctor Carney." She replied, sensible as always, turning to me. "Now, what's wrong Miss Piper?"

"My Papa's hurt real bad. I don't think he gon' make it but Mumma said I should call you," I heaved and gasped for air.

Despite complaining seconds ago, Doctor Carney practically flew off his chair with nothing but his case of medical things which was always within reach, looking like a hero in a comic book as he leaped on his horse that was also waiting in the yard at almost any given hour. I watched from the window, guilty about feeling excited. Or was it fear that tightened my ribcage and caused my heart to thrash in its cage of bone? I couldn't tell.

"A glass of water, Miss Piper? You look like you ran the whole way here."

I gulped down the water, relishing the slightly sweet taste. I thought it was almost as good as the stream early in the morning, the same cool and clean-tasting stuff.

"I should go back," I said but Mrs. Louise put a hand on my shoulder. "Now, how about you stay on? It's getting dark out there and I don't want you walking home alone."

I could tell it was because she didn't want me to see my father in his current state. I was going to tell her that I'd been the first to see him and there was no use keeping me but she brought a tall glass of milk and a plate laden with sticky brownies from the kitchen. I forgot to say thank you for the treat and that thought would keep me up for a long time later that night. When Doctor Carney came back, it was with a wagon borrowed from the Smiths and I knew this because of the streak of black going up one side. The oldest son of the Smiths had started a fire for fun and it got out of control and almost took the wagon with it.

My Mumma jumped out the back as soon as it stopped. She had been crying so it didn't take much else to know that my father hadn't made it. She wouldn't have cried otherwise. There my Papa was, tucked in the back of the wagon and wrapped in a musty sack. His shoes stuck out over the top because he was taller than the sack was wide.

"I'm sorry," Doctor Carney said awkwardly as he dismounted, and the way he said it made it unclear whether he was expressing sympathy or apologizing for wrapping my father in a feed sack.

"So, he's dead," I said somberly. "What we gon' do for bread now?"

Mrs. Louise looked a little appalled at that, glancing in uncertainty at my Mumma who laughed in an odd, wet way and hugged me tightly.

"It's the shock," she said. "She'll be bawling her eyes out tomorrow."

"I will not! I like my eyes," I retorted but my Mumma was already pulling me away.

"The wagon, Mrs. Maarten?" Doctor Carney said, showing up after he'd hauled my father off someplace.

The cellar perhaps; kids always rumored that the dead bodies shared the cellar with his milk, potatoes, and preserves because it was the only place cold enough to keep them for burial. No one else had a cellar or those that had one didn't want dead bodies in it.

"I'll come for the wagon tomorrow," she replied over her shoulder. "If the Smiths need it now, that's too bad."

"Are you sure walking alone in the dark is fine? We can always send the manservant along with you," Mrs. Louise called after us.

"It's not the works of man I'm afraid of but the work of the devil," Mumma retorted.

"Mumma, you making yourself sound weird," I complained.

"I've seen what happens in the dark and this ain't nothing yet, my dear," she responded.

That was my first hint that she thought something else other than a horse had happened to my father.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

I had been right to worry about bread. As bad a father as mine had been, he at least brought a loaf of bread home when he came home from work. That way, even if we had nothing but stale bread and watery milk to go with it, we still had something to eat. Money doesn't come cheap and it doesn't grow on trees, so Mumma had to go and find work. The first week consisted of her leaving early in the morning, coming home worn to the bone, and shaking her head in defeat.

Right when the pantry was scraped clean and things were beginning to feel desperate, she came home on a Saturday evening with a strange glow in her eyes and a pocketful of cinnamon hard candy.

"I've got a job, Piper," she declared, dividing the candy between us. "Things gon' look up now."

"When do you start?" I asked.

"Monday and it'll be long hours. Will you be able to take care of yourself?"

"Heck, I've been cooking and cleaning since I was nine, Mumma. I can handle it. 'Sides, I'll be at school most of the day myself," I ducked the incoming swat for cussing and felt very grown up and independent.

The first week was a slow one. Mumma didn't get her first pay until Friday and had to buy from the general store on credit. She hated doing that and so she bought the absolute minimum; bread and milk. On Sundays, we might get invited to a friend's house for dinner, and there I would gorge myself on potatoes and chicken, and cornbread. After school, I had another three hours to pass before Mumma came home and I was left to my own devices. I'd usually play with the dolls I made of straw and old strips of cloth and eat doorstep-thick slices of chewy bread with a dollop from the last jar of preserves.

One day she came home with something all wrapped up. The pantry was now truly empty and all I'd had for breakfast was the end of the loaf with the last glass of milk. My stomach felt like it was turning inside out to start digesting my other organs.

"Did ya get a gift of potatoes from the Sir?" I asked excitedly, spotting the package. "We having potatoes for dinner?"

"Hush up. It ain't no potato. It's a baby." She gently pulled back the cloth so I could see what I'd thought was the tops of a bunch of potatoes was instead a skinny baby.

In light of my crushed hopes, I wasn't exactly welcoming. "Well, kinda looks like a potato to me."

"Piper. Mind your tongue now."

"But it does!" I insisted. "Brown and wrinkly and half-starved looking. Like a dud potato. How did you find a baby anyhow?"

"I ain't having your attitude today," she sighed and walked inside.

"It ain't attitude!" I hollered back, miffed but repentant. "I'm starving is all."

I knew I'd finished the milk that morning. What was she going to feed it? Was it her or him? I was too distracted by the dull thunder in my stomach to care. The baby began to cry and I sat on the porch and listened to Mumma try to hush it up, thinking of how hungry I was.

After a couple of minutes, I went inside. Mumma was changing the baby's diaper.

"It stinks in here," I announced.

"This poor thing was by the roadside in a saddle blanket," Mumma said in a hushed voice because she had finally got the baby to settle. "Hungry with a wet diaper. No one in sight. I have no idea what happened."

"So, what we gon' do for food? The baby needs to eat too."

"I got paid today. Would you run by the store? With any luck, Gran-Mae will still be open and you can buy us something. Two cans of milk for the baby and whatever else looks good for us. You just be sensible, okay? Don't come back with your pockets filled with nothing but candy," Mumma said.

I took the gold coins with a whistle and skipped out the door, biting down on one just like a shopkeeper who wanted to make sure their gold was real. For the six minutes or so it took me to get down the hill to the general store, I felt rich and pretended that I was heading down into town to buy a fine horse. Black with white socks, like Doctor Carney's horse.

Gran-Mae was on the small porch of her store, sweeping dirt out of the cracks in the floorboards with a short stick broom. She could bend well for her age and her backside pointing at me looked like the rump of a friendly cow.

"Gran-Mae? You still open?" I called.

"Now if it isn't Piper Maarten!" She hooted, straightening up and bracing her hand on her back. "I'm closing up, but you come on in."

She bustled through the doors she hadn't locked yet. Lucky that, because she had more than three padlocks on that door and it would have taken forever to open them up because they were all damaged by the rain and rustier than the gates of hell.

It was like stepping into a cluttered heaven that smelled of so many good, heavy scents. I sniffed as quietly as I could manage and caught scents of maple syrup and soap, brown sugar and earthy potatoes, and baby carrots. The oily block of cheese on the counter wafted enticingly in my face, so close I could just lean over and chomp into it.

But the real exciting part was Gran-Mae's candy jar. It had caramel twists and cubes of cinnamon hard candy and bulbs of cherry chew squished next to tacky peppermints, a chaotic jumble of colors that was a feast to my eyes.

Gran-Mae used to give free candy out to the kids, especially when they had gotten hurt. She had to stop when five-year-old Vernon Akson down the street figured jumping off the roof of his parent's barn last summer to get hurt bad would earn him a mountain of candy. Even Mumma and I could hear his screams and he never walked quite right after that.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"You come here, child, and I'll nail your head!" I growled. "What you been doing in the kitchen?"

"I ain't eating anything!" Willy yelled back, scampering to the porch and making a dash for the oak tree out front.

"Then why are the pie toppings lookin' skimpy?" I retorted. "Get outta the tree, Willy."

We ended up keeping the baby. Not sure how, but Mumma got a little extra money from the Sir to care for the brat. Maybe she asked. A little extra always goes a long way and with some candy, I was bribed into grudging acceptance of the baby who had quickly grown into the most impulsive, excitable seven-year-old I'd ever known. With Mumma working, I became a mother of sorts, something I didn't think I was cut out for.

At fifteen now, I was wiry and taller than most of the girls in my class and felt as much out of place with them as I looked. I could always hang with the boys though because even my skirts couldn't get in the way of my love of climbing. However, Sundays sure did. Dressed in my nicest brown skirt, there was no way I could go climbing after Willy without ripping it.

"Willy," I sighed. "We gon' be late if you carry on."

"You ain't whippin' me no more?" He asked hopefully, coltish limbs wrapped around the branch he was clinging to.

"Nah, there ain't enough time. Come down and get dressed. Mumma is gon' be here any moment with the Sir."

Willy shimmied down the trunk and thumped onto his feet. "Why is he coming anyway? I ain't never seen a Sir go to church."

"They do, they just go the big fancy one in the city yonder," I said as we went inside to wash up.

"Have you ever been to the city, Piper?" Willy asked, standing on an old apple crate to reach the wash basin so he could splash his face.

"Once, when I was real small, my Papa and I rode on his horse to the top of Windcreak Hill and I saw the city from there. It was half-dark and all the fancy lights were sparkling like fallen stars. Only got to see that once though, because afterward he started drinking and couldn't ride straight," I said, dragging the brush through my curls to try and force it all into a bun. "Then Mumma said I couldn't ride with him no more."

"Shame, I want to see the city too."

"It's nearly half an hour to Windcreak Hill on a horse. Your legs won't get you there and back in time for dinner even if you went at the lick of daylight," I said in what I figured was a kindly tone. "You need to wear a bow."

"But I wanna see the city!" Willy whined, enchanted by my description of it.

"When I get me a horse, I'll take you," I promised. "But only if you're good. Now let's find you a tie."

I went into the room he and Mumma shared to see if I could find one. Through the dusty window, I saw a fine carriage coming up the way. That had to be Mumma and the Sir.

My thoughts were interrupted by a splash and the splatter of water from the kitchen.

"What you did now?" I demanded, hurrying in.

"I was trying to brush my hair and the crate broke!" Willy said indignantly. "Wasn't my fault."

"At least you didn't tip everything in the basin," I mumbled, nudging him to the side and hastily throwing a dishcloth on the water. "We gotta go."

"But I'm bleeding," he fussed.

I checked his lip. "It ain't too bad. Suck it up."

Willy skipped out the door. "Come see, Piper! The Sir has a fine carriage horse," he said in his squeaky voice.

"Hush up or he'll hear you," I muttered.

The Sir came out first and offered a gloved hand to Mumma who took it graciously, trying not to titter. She looked mighty fine in her new silk dress and idly I wondered if she and the Sir were getting together or something. No way she bought that herself.

"Ready, children?" Mumma called.

The Sir stopped in front of us, his pink lips under his blond mustache dimpling into a small smile which slipped into a frown as he looked from me to Willy.

"Mon Dieu," he said. "Your lip."

"Banged it on the wash basin," Willy said, puffing up like he thought it was tough and cool to have a bloody lip.

"Most unfortunate," the Sir said, holding out his white handkerchief, which had a lacy edge just like a lady's handkerchief.

I groaned inwardly as Willy took it and smeared his blood and saliva on the cloth before trying to hand it back. The Sir laughed once and I snatched the cloth.

"I'll wash it and return it to you, Sir," I said with a curtsy.

"Oh, no need! I have plenty of those. Throw it away. Now, shall we?" He said, gesturing to the carriage.

In that high-up and big wheeled carriage, it didn't take long to get down to the church. Despite that, we were still a few minutes late, just enough that everyone was gathered in the churchyard and greeting each other.

"Nah," I said, shrinking back in my chair. "Everyone's gonna be looking."

"Piper," Mumma said, her eyes as brown as burnt brownies and her tone dry with a sharp warning edge.

Don't embarrass me in front of the Sir, her gaze said, it's an honor to sit in his carriage.

And it was, but all I was thinking about was how everyone would talk about us later. The girls at school would crowd around me asking questions and all the boys would make lame jokes. And the old folk would talk smack about Mumma over their Tuesday cards. Crickets, just the thought gave me a hot chill.

"You will never blend in, Piper. Best to learn that now," the Sir said bluntly, looking at me like he had guessed what I was thinking.

Looking at him straight on, I realized his hair came down to his shoulders, tucked coyly behind his ears to keep it from falling into his eyes. Something about him bugged me. Perhaps the hair or the way he sat, or his ability to deliver a rude line like that with a smile on his face. I rose to the challenge of that innocent smile.

"Neither will you, Sir. Respectfully saying, everyone is gonna talk about you and your fine horse and carriage and girly hair."

"Piper!" Mumma hissed.

The Sir laughed. "Let the girl speak, Marilyn. Honest opinions are so hard to come by these days."

"Marilyn? You call my Mumma by her first name? What's she to you?" I demanded.

Willy squirmed in his seat, impatient to get out and play.

I couldn't stand the Sir's lofty attitude and Mumma's cattle brand-hot gaze, so I threw the door open and stumbled out into the sunshine. I hadn't realized how dark the carriage had been with its draped windows.

"Now if it ain't the Maartens!" Pastor Wilkins said, walking towards us with his fat black Bible tucked under his arm.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the Sir, though. He just stood and stared, as I'd expected. I edged to the side and waited with bated breath to see what would happen. I hoped Pastor Wilkins would tell him to leave. The Sir smiled and tilted his head up to the sky for a moment.

"Such a sunny day isn't it? It surely livens the senses."

"Indeed," Pastor Wilkins drawled, having recovered from seeing a white Sir in his mainly dark-skinned congregation. "You from Gaines by any chance?"

"The grand city, yes of course," the Sir said. "Shall we?"

"Welcome to our little town, in that case," Pastor Wilkins said.

Then he walked inside with him and that was that. I arched my eyebrows. Somehow, that interaction had gone differently than I expected. I had been waiting for a polite but brutally suspicious Pastor Wilkins because I knew that man was like a guard dog around strangers, but Pastor Wilkins only seemed happy to have a rich Sir in his pews.

Disappointed, I drifted inside. Only later would I realize that the unquestioned acceptance of the Sir was just a precursor for what was to come.

[life-with-my-three]

Lucy ended up in hospital a week ago. I’m still trying to process it. It seems these days I spend a lot of time trying to work out whether my feelings given a situation are “normal” and I have reason to feel how I do, or whether they’re a reaction to past trauma and I shouldn’t bring frustrations up to others.

The kids had all had a bit of a cold. Lucy had seemed to be on the tail-end. We left home at 7am for a 9:30 gastro appointment of Hattie’s in Melbourne. Lucy came with us. 2.5 hours of driving and we were still late. In the waiting room we gave Lucy a feed. It seemed to really exaggerate her effort to breathe, and make it a heap noisier. It was so noisy that Hattie’s gastro consultant told us to not go home straight away and to hang around the hospital for an hour or so and if it didn’t improve to go to emergency.

We hung around. Once the feed digested a little and wasn’t pushing so much on her lungs she improved a bit so we drove home. We had to drive straight to pick up Fletcher as he had a primary school transition afternoon. We took him to that, then went home. Hattie lost her special reward toy that she got for letting the doctor poke at her stomach (positive rewards for past medical trauma), somewhere between the kinder and home. We couldn’t find it anywhere. So I dropped all the kids at home with Aaron (he was home by this point). Went searching all the shops in the hope I could find another, miraculously did. Got home and Lucy had just had another feed and her breathing was bad again.

At this point I decided I’d take her to the local urgent care clinic in the hopes of avoiding emergency. Got to urgent care. They took her straight in. Stripped her down and looked at her breathing and decided she was really sick and needed the hospital. With how her breathing was they weren’t confident in me driving with her the 2 blocks so they called an ambulance. Her sats were lower 80s. Her feet were purple/mottled. As we were waiting for the ambulance (not long at all) there was a shift change. The new doctor agreed she needed the hospital asap and it to be an ambulance situation. The words “very sick” were used multiple times. They started putting numbing cream and stuff on her so that emergency could work on her asap.

We got to emergency. She was stick sucking her ribs and trachea right in. She had improved to her sats in the 90s though she was having to work hard for that. The paeds doctor came in and declared she was fine. Went to send us straight home. I mentioned about her sats being low at urgent care, to which they said oh I guess we should admit you for the night then. I was just going to send you home for the night. She’s giving everyone smiles, she’s just a happy puffer.

The night before Hattie came home from NICU, I brought up with the same paeds department that when feeding her she was stopping breathing and going blue. I was treated like I was just overly anxious, so accepted I’d seen her stop breathing so many times I probably was just anxious. Over the next 6 weeks she did it multiple times with feeds. I’d take her to emergency and we’d be told she was just a “happy puffer”. It didn’t matter how many times I tried to get her help, I was always given that same line. My kids struggle to breathe but still smile apparently! It wasn’t until I cracked it and drove to Melbourne demanding help did the Melbourne paeds look at her. We found out her milk was going into her lungs and we went to the feeding tube! It was only 6 months ago now that her Melb respiratory consultant told me in an appointment that she will never forget that first time she saw Hatt and how much she was struggling to breathe. The exact same breathing that local paeds just shrug off:

Anyway, Lucy seemed a lot better by the next morning, so I didn’t go all mumma bear on them like I was planning. I mean the doctors didn’t even see her. The nurse just came in and said if you’re happy the doctors are happy for Lucy to be discharged.

I’ve spent the week going over it in my head though. Am I so frustrated and annoyed at the doctors’ at local paeds because it’s bringing back up the trauma of Hattie’s experience? Or do I have every right to be so completely annoyed at them? Melb we’re concerned enough to tell us to go to emergency to a baby they didn’t even look at, was in the pram across the room, and not their patient. Two separate shifts of doctors/nurses at urgent care were extremely worried about her.

I don’t know. Lucy’s completely fine now. Back to her normal self. But far out, our local paeds department has requested two consecutive years to use Hattie’s story for the junior paediatric doctor exams to improve management of respiratory issues, then this shit happens!

[common-man]

Madal 69.

Madal 69. Dear loving Mummy, Received your lovely letter how my grandpa gave you the beautiful divine name and his attachment to Thayar really touching.In this world Thayar is the supreme person gives her blessings to his children and all.Work is going smoothly.Today doctor friend's dad called me and asked to come Sunday for lunch.I dod not confirmed.Since one of our client had come yesterday to our office and incidently he is native of Kovil Patti and brought chukki which his relatives traditional business.i was thinking of you and dad like this sweet.He invited me Sunday for tea.That was the reason I have not decided doctor friend's dad invitation. Take care both of you Always remembering Mumma's loving and obedient son