#my mum asked me if it was a deserved result and im like look at bukayo. the deserved result is he scores a hattrick and we win every match

[odegoob]

I know when we started this match a draw would have been an okay result and I know all the mitigating factors that have fucked us over I know all that BUT I still (perhaps delusionally) believe our team can win literally every match we play so even if we were starting our youth team against prime city I'd be mad if we didn't win

[actualbird]

most of the rec lists i have planned for @dghdafeedbackfest​ are completely brotzly centric so this rec list goes out to the shipless fics/fics that dont have the ship as the focus that deserve love!!!!!

An Interlude; or, Compulsory Heterosexuality Made Me Do It by @gallantrejoinder​ and @teacupsandcyanide​

Farah and Todd did, in fact, make out while on the run. They also both realised some very important things about themselves.

But not the things you might expect.

okay im kinda cheating with this one because theres suggested brotzly but this fic is just SO GOOD AND HILARIOUS and a wonderful look into farah and todd’s relationship

How Doth The Little Crocodile by quingigillion (cartouche)

Someone has beat them to it. That’s never happened before. They hate having their fun spoiled. Especially by some skinny white guy with a bloody nose who’s grinning far too wide.

"Oh. Hi!"

gorgeously atmospheric and beautifully written. i lack the words to adequately explain why i love this fic so much, but it just paints an amazing picture of a could-be dirk with wonderful prose

Pistachi-Oh, Dear... by @dont-offend-the-bees​

All Dirk wanted was a muffin. The universe had better ideas.

THIS FIC IS SO CLEVER AND FUNNY. THE SHEER GENIUS OF HOW EVERYTHING CONNECTS IS AMAZING AND THIS IS JUST A GREAT READ WHICH ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH

when you see me by couldaughter

Mrs Cjelli - Mum - was silent. He could hear her breath hitch, could almost taste salt in the air. The pressure in his chest hadn’t eased.

“I suppose this might be a bit of a shock,” Dirk said, eventually. He forced himself to look back up, to assess the damage he’d caused.

time for the TEARS. this fic makes me emotional so much. dirk gently deserves the BEST MOM!!!

Life by yeaka

Panto and Silas ask their king about children.

short, beautiful, and poignant. the magic here takes a life of its own even if it is sitting in the backseat.

where the falling angels meet the rising apes by cosmicocean

The thing sweeps its scythe and straightens. It must sense eyes on it, because it turns it’s head and looks right at Svlad. It is a skull’s face, grinning and bleached. Svlad stares. It tilts it’s head, like it’s watching a particularly fascinating documentary, or a cat attempting to catch a laser pointer created dot. AH, it says. It’s mouth doesn’t move, but Svlad hears it’s voice all the same, resonating deep and forever. INTERESTING.

A story of Death and the boy who could see him, through the years.

DISCWORLD DEATH AND DIRK ARE BUDDIES, WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR??? well this fic is also a wonderful peek into dirk’s development and Death as a character is done so well.

i was born in a summer storm (i live there still) by janeseyre

Farah confronts the vestiges of her past as she, Dirk, and Todd travel east to visit her mother. It turns out Farah isn’t as over her father’s death as she thought she was.

do you want the agency trio being the best of mcfucking friends???? gen ot3 feels are so strong in this fic. heartfelt and warm.

Breezes and Buceros have one thing in common by Grand_Funk

"Hi, I'm Mona." Says Mona in a voice that Svlad feels is fit for someone who breaks into rooms as a draft, only to spend time in them as a bird.

very VERY clever writing that is so apt for the short and heartbreaking scene that this fic portrays. lovely, so lovely.

An utterly non-de-escalatable situation by Grand_Funk

And in the deafening silence, Farah realized she had made a grave mistake.

"Oh my God, Farah, I didn't know you could sing!"

SWEETNESS OH GOD. RIP FARAH

Peach, Plum, Pear by Lavellington

"Mona!" Dirk says. "What have we said about sneaking up on people in the form of inanimate objects?"

"It's bad manners," she says, "and may result in invasion of privacy, or untimely cardiac arrest."

"Yes," he says, "good, thank you."

my favorite mona fic of all time. im taking this fic as basically like, the bible for how mona’s pov works and it is a joy to take a trip into her wonderfully crafted perspective and mind.

AAAAND here are some self indulgent self recs because im proud of my genfics hehe

the same wish is returned by reptilianraven

"I don’t really know how to make friends.”

The fortune teller opens a flap under Dirk’s fingers. The text reads, just do what you did with me.

“Take you with me while I escaped a government prison?” Dirk asks, dutifully folding all the paper back in order before unfolding a flap open anew.

smile. be yourself. keep talking. Mona says through the new text. if that doesn’t work do what i did to make you my friend

“And what is that, exactly?” Dirk fondly remembers how he met Mona. How he first yelped in shock when he saw a chair shift into scorpion and then watched in awe-horror as that scorpion stood between him and the exit.

make sure he doesn’t get away :D

-

When Dirk escapes Blackwing that first time, he takes Mona with him. Friendship is a little odd when one party refuses to turn into anything human and the other party is Dirk, but they make it work.

i just really love mona, guys

Estevez and the Acceptable, Tolerable, Not Too Bad, Okay Continued Living Existence by reptilianraven

Seconds before he’s about to stand to leave, his phone pings. There’s text from a number he doesn’t recognize.

estevez i hope this is ur number

Who is this?

who are you first is this estevez detective estevez i never got your first name is it detective hey are you ignoring these texts HEY THIS IS LYDIA

For real?

-

Wherein Ex-Detective Joel Estevez does not die.

i could not accept estevez’ death SO MUCH this fic had to happen lest i sulk for a month.

happy reading!! dont forget to show these writers some love!!!!

[hostiias]

MENTAL HEALTH WITH NIM: DID

           Hey sweet peas! Nimbus here and I have what’s known as DID!! What is DID you ask? It’s short for Dissociative Identity Disorder !! It was known as multiple personality disorder until the 90′s--when they gained a better understanding and changed the name. You don’t have to read this, but it would mean a whole awful lot to me if you did!

       First a disclaimer! DID is unique to everyone like many disorders and while some core facts are the same, please not I only have one experience and one side of this multi-faceted disorder!

         DID is formed in ages 7-9 and only in this stage of childhood. It is caused by repeated and/or extreme trauma. The person who has developed DID (aka me!!) will have no memory of their childhood. That’s right! I don’t remember anything--and any memories I have are vague and fuzzy, like they happened to someone else. I only have one very clear memory--but I only recovered it fairly recently via therapy.

           That brings us to our next issue--DID causes severe memory loss. I’m not talking a few hours--Im talking losing days, weeks, months, and even years. I’ve had to work very hard with my disorder and therapy to get a better handle on this loss of time--but that’s still fairly recent and I do still lose time. The reason I bring this up is because I might not remember a conversation we had--or something I was supposed to do for you.

            I forget birthdays, anniversaries, important dates, etc so much--like i don’t even remember my mums. Bits and pieces of my life are like shadows in my mind and I have to do some digging and info-seeking to find it out. It’s very difficult and I feel very guilty about it...so please never take it personally if I don’t remember something. It’s not because I don’t care , but because my mind is literally fragmented.

           Expanding on that--DID is a defensive disorder created by your mind to try and protect you from your trauma. So you know how in 7-9 your ‘parts’ of personality are slowly integrating to create you? The trauma disrupts this and your parts stay separate, creating alters. These alters often create their own personas; become their own people. The bugger thing is, once you’ve split--you can do it later again when you’re older. That’s right! If I’m traumatized enough, it could cause me to split again--because now my brain has recognized this ‘split’ as a defensive tactic.

             I’m pretty lucky that because I’ve been getting therapy (and FINALLY got a diagnosis; like I’m medically diagnosed with this disorder) I’ve been able to avoid further splits. At this time I have eight alters I am aware of whom I communicate with almost like a family; this is how I’ve been able to cut down on my memory loss. It’s still a bit like watching myself through tv, but at least I’m more aware of what happened.

              Some quick terminology!!

Protector: an alter who keeps the system safe

Alter: The ‘part’ that split.

System: The name for the collective unit of alters and host/original.

Host: the alter who is living the individuals life most of the time, might not be the original.

Original: the individual who was originally traumatized and ended up with DID. (I am both the host and the original).

Gatekeeper: Someone who monitors what alters are allowed to interact with the rest of the system and what memories are allowed to be accessed. If there are Persecutors in the system, they keep them at bay.

Persecutor: An alter who often exhibits the behavior of the person who was abusive/caused the trauma. Usually only harmful to the system itself. It is rare for persecutors to cause harm to outside individuals, but they may say cruel things.

Internal self-helper: An alter who is mostly on in the system that makes sure everyone is where they need to be; aka sort of like the maintenance guy.

Trauma holder: An alter who holds the memories of the trauma that cause their split.

Little: An alter who maintains the appearance and mindset of a child; usually the result of the initial trauma from ages 7-9.

Non-human: An alter who is not human. Can be a mythical being but is typically an animal presenting alter.

Fictive: An alter who has the ‘memories’ and personality of a fictional person as well as their appearance and name.

Headspace: This is an internal world sort of like Sherlocks ‘mind palace’ from the BBC show where all the alters can interact with each other and ‘live’. How it appears is different for everyone–my headspace is a cabin in the woods.

Age: Alters can be the same age as the orginal or older/younger. They are, essentially, their own people in many ways.

Co-existence: A therapy method in which you learn to live and function with your alters (this is the therapy I use)

Integration: A form of therapy where the original and/or host begins to integrate the alter into their singular personality (aka going through the process that was disrupted in childhood). This can also occur between alters.

      I have a very good relationship with my alters but it wasn’t always this way. I’ve had a lot of issues in the past with varying personality traits, time loss, etc. I’ve even had a few toxic relationships in which I was the toxic party--partly due to not having a good handle on what was going on. Now no one should use this as an excuse! I am as at fault for my alters actions as I would be if they were my own so don’t let anyone excuse bad behavior with ‘my alter did it, not me!’ because they can absolutely work on getting a better handle of them.

        I will say that people with DID who have not gotten a better handle on their alters deserve your grace and patience where you feel you can give it; it’s frightening to know that sometimes there’s basically a whole other person driving your body. You don’t need to, nor are expected to excuse harm--but hopefully you can at least offer some understanding--because that’s all any person suffering from this disorder can ask for. It’s especially hard when you’re undiagnosed and have no idea what’s going on--only that something is wrong (I speak from experience here hhh--)

        You ready for another term? Ok so alters often will ‘front’, this is like to say if you were driving a car--whoever is fronting is driving the car. The car is your body (obviously). So if you’re in the passenger seat, you probably still are aware of what’s going on, even if you’re no longer in control--if you’re in the backseat you have a vague idea of what’s happening, but it’s not really clear to you--you’re there but removed. If you are in the trunk you have no idea what’s going on--you’re completely blind to anything being said or happening. Even when I (Nimbus) am not fronting, I’m typically in the passenger seat anymore--but I used to only be in the back seat or the trunk...so it’s taken a year or so of work to get here.

           This is a disorder that is very important to me to talk about because I don’t wanna feel ashamed or crazy of something my brain did to protect me so I’m gonna be more vocal about it here! You are welcome to ask myself or my alters questions in IM’s or in my ask box! You may not however ask about my trauma, that’s just rude and unkind. I can also send you resources for people who talk about DID that I feel are trustworthy in their info. My disorder is nothing to be ashamed of and I’m happy to share it with you!

          Below is a list of seven of my alters whom you may ask questions as well!

Roxas: Main protector. 26. He/him. True neutral. aro/ace. coffee addict. Teasingly known as ‘sk8r boy’. Not related to the kh roxas. Like sunsets, coffee, snap backs, and hiking. Pitches my voice down a bit.

Dimitri: Physical protector/gatekeepr. He/him. blunt/asshole. some sort of chaotic alignment. 25. Means well but could stand to be a little gentler about things. Likes leather, alcohol, dancing, and fighty-aesthetics. Pitches my voice down a lot.  

Sage: Caretaker. he/him. 31. the mom friend. Will make you tea and listen to all your problems. Will suggest good books. Lawful good. Likes soothing aesthetics, once upon a time, tea, sweaters, leggings, and classical music. Talks in full and VERY formal sentences. Has a softer tone than me.

Salem: Internal self-helper. 21. he/him. really sunny personality. lawful good. genuinely a good person. minor anxiety. likes exercise, healthy foods, and bubbly music. Has a country bumpkin british accent (kind of?). Will call you ‘love’ or ‘lovey’

Koumei: Caretaker. he/him/they/them. 23. genderqueer. “lets talk about how that feels”. Makes sure i’m honest during counseling sessions. Likes crop tops, those cloth elephant pants you see in hipster stores, yoga, tea, east asia aesthetics, and meditative music. Whisper-talks. SHY.

Carter: Gatekeepr. he/him. 18. ace. grumpy/moody teenager. awkward phase. ‘lol bold of you to assume I process anything’. Stays in room almost 24/7. blunt. likes video games, beanies, hoodies, jeans, sneakers, and sleeping during the day. Doesn’t change my voice really.

Bubble: non-human. Some sort of fairy? Genderless but uses he/him. Likes to look like a meow wow cause they make me happy. Age is a mystery. Can appear human and typically chooses a little boy. Lets have a good time everyone!! Like to color, play games, do child-like things/watch child-like shows. ‘reconnect with your inner child nim!’. LOUD and BUBBLY.

Thank you for reading and again if you have any questions for us let me know !! I love you all <3333

[semi-skimmedmilk]

@bittterblue​ replied to your post “regarding my last reblog.......... ok like. OKAY. having now Actually...”

how are we feeling about Juno Steel in this moment... the public wants to know

caught between this image

and

this video of jack black

my brain has been on 48hr+ juno steel lockdown (other than catching up w s3. peter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rita!!!!!!!!!!! buddy!!!!!!!!!!!)

like i want to coherently put this into words but i cannot yet. i need like a month to process bc i cannot believe. i really just cannot BELIEVE the........ entire season. the entire TWO seasons. fristly this witty lady doing adventures is just so fun! juno is SO funny and the scifi detectivey FUN and coolness is delicious 

but all the while even more delicious is the themes. the introspective QUESTIONS juno asks and progress he makes im..... the steps towarsd the steps to healing and allowing to connect w people and love and let things go............ my god. the bits with family (w his brother no one speak to me. the bit about the smiles.) and legit everything with rita (the flashbacks and when he’s weird-soul!juno ok ok ok) and that he thought he was doing good but what does that mean? and is it good if it’s just to repent/punish urself? 

and the GROWTH. the character growth. the forgiving & the accepting other ppl live in this world just as MUCH as he does and it’s not his to decide their lives/take on guilt for mistakes and in fact by seeing them as less central/responsible/capable of helping (him and the world)/as ppl with their own agency etc it is a disservice to THEm as ppl and to the relationships he could have w them if he fully realised this and accepted that as a result there is always a level of vulnerability and lack of control in a relationship w another person (end of s1 ‘of course ill just ruin it and i dont deserve it anyway’/his brother and mum/vanishing for weeks and not thinking rita might be UPSET) and then like. starting to fix this outlook. and FIXING things for himself too (leaving mars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and hc!!!)

and then, like, fundamentally, the theme of ‘what would it look like if you decided to live for yourself: because you want it, because you need it, because you feel like, finally, you deserve it?’ of it all from that post and im going to lose??? my?? mind??? like fuck. fuck.

in summary juno steel im love u so dearly :(

[fairycosmos]

hi! sorry to bother you but i really don't know who else to talk to 😔 if you don't wanna reply pls just ignore this and i'm sorry! 🙏🏻 so yeah, um, do you have any tips for dealing with a...misogynistic father? especially when he gives comments like, how i should or shouldn't do something because it'd result in "a bad body shape". i get so frustrated every time he comments on how i should do with my appearance or my body😥. i hope your day is ok! you're an absolute angel💗💖

hi luv, ur not bothering me. i would LOVE to fight your dad :) just throwing that out there. ive dealt w sexist family members to some extent too, and i haven't found an all encompassing solution yet. there will always be a ribbon of frustration tied to the situation and i think you should....allow yourself to process that reaction as much as you need to. work through the anger, and the hurt. it isn't right for him to say that shit to you, it isn't right that he uses your body to control and belittle you. of course you're mad about it. you don't need permission to be upset. he's supposed to be a supportive and loving figure in your life and his failure to fulfill that role is just that - HIS failure. if you need to cry about it or write about it or talk about it, you should. i don't know what your dynamic is like with your dad beyond this, but if it is safe to do so, i would recommend expressing your discomfort at every opportunity. tell him you didn't ask for his opinion. tell him you have the right to free agency over your own self. try to get your mum to talk to him about it too, if at all possible. as you grow and become a whole person divorced of your parents and what they think, it will become easier to focus on your own opinion of yourself first and foremost. maybe it'll take a while to get to that point, but it won't always feel as painful as it does right now :( it's also important to note the total ignorance of your dads mindset. he has no ground or credibility at all. this is a man who clearly sees women as lesser than, and that alone renders his thoughts completely useless. his opinion of your body is what an ant is to the milky way. he knows nothing, ok? not about health, about dieting, about love, about what you should or shouldn't be doing as a girl. so next time he's spouting his bullshit, watch him with that in mind. remain illuminated by that fact. maybe cos of how he was raised, in a culture that rewards male entitlement, he believes he Knows. but he doesn't. this is more about him and his ego than it is about you, so disconnecting his words from your reality is a wonderful place to start. even if it feels weird or like you're lying to yourself at first. look, you'll always be more well versed in what you need and what you deserve than he will be. though you may have to unlearn some internalised self hatred based on oppression to fully liberate your mind, as we've all been raised on the attitude your dad is displaying, to various degrees. takes a lifetime to truly accept that it's all a lie. anyway im not saying you should just let his words bounce right off you, because it's obviously not that black and white. you shouldn't have to put up with this at all. and im so sorry that you do. but i think actively working on your self esteem every day and looking towards positive female role models, whether in the media or in person, could really do wonders. and it's alright if it is a long and complex process, as long as ur trying. you don't have to beg him to understand. you can't make people be decent and listen, can't control how they think - but he can't do that to you, either. his thoughts actions are a reflection of him, not of you. i think part of growing up is realising that disappointing your parents is necessary, especially when they have let us down over and over again themselves. i really hope you're able to get to a place of self appreciation/neutralisation. and that this enables you to distance yourself from the need for his validation because you are SOOOO much more than he can even comprehend. 💖 also you're so lovely i could cryyy bro thank you so much. please take it easy and let me know if you need a friend. i'll be here 💘

[ruffiorocks]

Glee season 4 episode 5 Will is an emotional manipulator!

Sooo first off Finn is having a pity party, he thinks working for Burt in the tire shop is somehow degrading? Even though if I remember correctly last season Burt was talking about letting him run the place. Finn also makes a joke about wanting to be crushed by a car in front of ARTIE of all people!

Oh look the graduates are back at the school again, that's not creepy at all. So glad Sue eventually points this out down the line!

Will and Emma are having a counseling session with Coach Beaste of all people? Will opens being the jack ass he is and starts talking about the arts being underfunded, Emma says she isn't disputing that and Will looks pissed off that she's even dared to have a difference of opinion. He doesn't even let her finish talking, before he ends her sentance for her saying their relationship with grow through this experience and it isn't just a oxne in a lifetime opportunity for him but for both of them, and that Emma is dismissing this. Emma says she feels Will assumes she is just going to drop everything and play the part of the dutiful 1950e housewife. While Emma is saying this, the same thing she said last time Will isnt even hiding the fact he is rolling his eyes ans isn't interested in what she had to say. Even though this is quite literally what he expected her to do the last time they discussed this.

Emma talks about how her life, her dreams are somehow secondary to his and he is STILL rolling eyes and scoffing at her every word.

Beaste makes some sport analogy, and compares the relationship to her and her ex, but that was a realationship with physical abuse which isn't the same thing. But she does tell them to take a step back

Emma opens her mouth to talk and Will cuts her off once again, and OH he's admitting he made a mistake when they first talked about it. No he's being the 'nice guy' again and asking her not to look sad and is declaring his love for her, "no matter where we go or what we do I want us to be together, this time its Washington, next time it's anywhere you want to go'. This isn't Will being 'nice' or admitting he was wrong, this is emotional manipulation and him trying to get what he wants because he just can't see past his own desires.

He then says 'im asking my partner ,my equal partner to join me? Will you consider it?" This is just more emotional manipulation and he makes sure there is an audience in Beaste, so it's real hard for Emma to say no, she says yes and you can see she isn't happy about it at all, but Will is to happy he got what he wanted to even notice. Thankfully Beaste HAS noticed! At least someone has!

Other notes:

Marley, sweet angel Marley tells Wade 'Unique' she's in the girls bathroom, but Wade says she sits when she pees and Marley is instantly 💯 % fine with with this. Wade says she ways to play Rizzo, ans drag isn't just an act to her, Marley again is 💯% on board with this. Unfortunately Sue is there 😑.

Hahahaha Sue can't find a bad name for Marley and resorts to 'absolutey stunning, kind, faced blue eyed girl".

Ok, so Sue calls Wade a boy and isn't on board with her playing Rizzo. But wasn't it Sue just last season that wanted Kurt to dress up like a woman for Nationals because Wade has dressing up like a woman? I feel this is a little out of character for Sue, and they just reverted back to her being prejudice so they could someone against Wade. I won't even go into the horrible rant about gender, being trans, being in drag etc that Sue launches into because it's horrible, out of character even for Sue and I'm willing to bet wouldn't be allowed to be said today.

Wade and Marley singing P!nk 😍😍 Marley's 'rock look' is amazing and I wish we had seen more of it.

Naww Ryder is lovely to Marley, who is immediately lovely to him. Ryder is also the second person (aside from Marley) who speaks of her mother with respect. Ryder also immediately doesn't give a crap about Kitty, unlike Jake who dated her regardless of how awful she was to Marley.

Jake only auditions for the musical with the very person who is making Marley's life hell because he can't stand the fact Marley could be into the actual nice guy Ryder. He uses the pretence that it's to stop Kitty killing Marley but he's really just creepy and possessive.

Also...WHY are the known bullies allowed in the musical at all?!! No wonder the Glee kids have issues! Their safe place is never safe for long because no one cares the bullies are there as long as the show is good.

Finn "I don't see what the big deal is, if Unique Identifies as a girl and dresses as a girl she should be allowed to play one on stage' yes Finn! Finally you're out of your pity party and making some sense, NOT Artie who scoffed at Wade playing Rizzo and scoffed at Marley being Sandy because she's brunette?? No Artie would prefer the known school bully to be rewarded with the lead over the lovely angel that is Marley.

Ooh no!!!! Finn used the R word to describe baby Robin!! Two steps forward MILES backwards! Sue maybe being an ass right now about casting Wade, but going after her baby girl was beyond uncalled for. Figgins should have kicked Finn out of the school for that, this is Sue's place of work, Finn just proved he shouldn't be influencing kids and he doesn't even belong there!

Where was Will during all this? Oh yeah just sat there not giving a shit because is to wrapped up in himself to notice whats going on with 'his' kids.

Now back to Emma, who's restored to freaking about germs because Will is stressing her out. Beaste tells her lying is the worst thing (besides violence) someone can do in a relationship and tells her she knows Emma doesn't want to go to Washington. No Coach, do you know what's worse than being forced into agreeing to something that you don't want to do? It's your partner emotionally manipulating you into agreeing and making you think you're in the wrong for ever disagreeing in the first place. But thankfully Beaste does tell her she should tell Will she doesn't want to go. But then takes a step backwards and tells Emma that Will loves her, and that Emma spent so much time trying to be Will's girls she's forgotten why Will fell for her. NO! Emma literally says she can't get in the ways of Will's dreamsmy because that's what Terri did, that's because Will never shuts up about how Terri treated him, which manipulates Emma into trying her hardest not to disagree with him. I'm so sick of people thinking Will is a 'nice guy' who just loves everyone. Poor Emma needed some real support here, not to be guilt tripped by Will and Beaste.

Side note: Tina is right when she said she was fine with Mike and her breaking up, but he could have given her a heads up and let her know he would be invading her space at school and helping with the school musical. No one cares about poor Tina! The most neglected character ever!

Marley and Ryder just want to dance, Jake and Kitty just want to be dickheads. Jake's creepy possession over Marley really gets going here, to the point he's stopping her dancing with Ryder and picking a fight with him. So starts Jake's decline into being an arsehole.

Yay Marley and Ryder got the leads, because they deserve it! They aren't dickheads!

Kitty is fat shaming Marley and her mum. No one! Not one member of the Glee club , Finn or any past students speak up for her at all!! This is the beginning of Marley's body issues!

Emma is freaking out cooking and is having basically a panic attacks, all because of Will!! But she finally says she doesnt want to go to Washington, he is NOT happy, but at least he's listening. Now??? Now he decides to listen to what she has to say? Oh and now he's the 'nice guy' again. Poor Emma, stuck with this arsehole.

Will actually thinks if he doesn't go to Washington the arts will fail in America?? Yeah full of yourself much?? Will also leaves Finn in charge of Glee club, the guy who shot himself with a gun, called Sue's baby the R word and is watching bullying happen before his very eyes and is doing NOTHING about it!!

Conclusions?

The graduates spend too much time at their old highschool!

The bullies are allowed to bully with no consequences, even rewarded. The victims have no safe haven because it's infiltrated by the bullies and as long as they can sing and dance no one care about what the bullying is doing to the good kids like Marley who will eventually become bulimic and no one notices.

Jake is becoming creepy and possessive.

Beaste has fallen for Will's 'nice guy' act.

Finn Hudson should have kicked out of the school the moment the called on of the teachers babies by the R word!

Sue is totally out of character, shes against Wade but late says it's for her protection and states how she had LGBT both boys and girls on the Cheerios.

Figgins is useless.

Tina is neglected!

Will Shuester basically abusive to Emma, it's emotional abuse. He doesn't care about her outside of what she can do for him. He doesn't even let her finish sentance, he tries to make decisions for her and emotional manipulates and guilt trips her into agreeing with him when she is clearly uncomfortable, resulting in an OCD Episode. He then acts like he's OK with not going to Washington, because he didn't winning this one and is being the 'nice guy' again.

Will Shuester is a jackass!!

[reasons-for-smiling]

Something I’ve noticed about education

For as long as I can remember, I’ve not been very good at maths. My mum once told me that maths was the thing I really struggled with when I joined school. However, I steadily improved and after I switched primary schools I only got better.

Once I had moved to my new primary school, my skills were improving. I was more confident in those couple years in that second primary than I’ve ever been. Something I’ve noticed about myself back then was the encouragement. The teachers at that school were very close to you and knew you well. The school was small and there was hardly any people in my year, so each teacher would be able to talk to you on a personal level. I think this is the main reason behind me enjoying school as much as I do now.

Fast forward a couple years and I’m now in secondary school. However, I feel a lot less confident in regards to academics, especially when it comes to maths. My maths teacher has taught me for two years. I can fairly confidently say that he is a huge reason behind my self consciousness when it comes to maths.

From the moment I walked in, I knew he didn’t like me. He compared my work to that of a caveman, shouted at me when I politely tried to ask a question and the assistant wasn’t much help either. I could list many more bad things that have happened in that class, but I don’t want to, as this blog is meant for happy things, not sad things.

I’m in top set maths. I’m proud to say that. I never thought that I deserved to be in that class, however I now know that I do actually belong in the class I’m in. The reason I think I do badly is because of the teacher. When I couldn’t learn because of him, I shamed myself for asking others for help. So, this is me telling you not to do that.

I know it’s easier said than done. But, if help is available, reach out for it. That maths teacher is still my teacher, however now I try and ask for help whenever possible. Being close to people is extremely important in life, I’ve learnt that thanks to my second primary school.

I’m not saying the following advice will help everyone. Everyone is different when it comes to reaching out for help but here’s a little guide on how I practice self care when I’m in a school situation.

1: find something you enjoy, and bring it with you

Whether that thing is a favourite song lyric, a notebook full of stories you’ve written or simply the fact that you like biology, bring that with you to every class and basically everywhere you go. For me, I have some YouTube merchandise as my stationary, so that really helps me. I think it helps because if I find myself feeling down because of a particular class or scenario I’m in whilst in lessons, I look at that and it keeps me grounded, it reminds me im just in a lesson and that what I’m thinking is just in my head.

2: find out what you do/don’t like about your teachers

It sounds dumb but it really helps. My interest in science has skyrocketed now that I have a new teacher because he is always fun and involving. When I realised this, I knew that I wanted to invest more time in science. Now, I plan to have a career about science. Finding what you do or don’t like about your teachers is really important because then you know exactly how you learn when you’re with them. Is your teacher very involving and hands on? Well, if that helps you, maybe do more practical learning at home. An example of doing this is doing your own science experiments at home, not just at school. If you don’t like practical work, maybe paper work is more your thing. Try and find out how your teachers teach and how you learn as a result.

And finally...

3: walk into every class healthy and prepared

When I took a maths test once, I walked in near crying after an older child had pushed me into some lockers. I was having a really rough week anyway, so this test that I was really dreading didn’t help much. I did super badly as a result. I know I knew most of that stuff, however I wasn’t healthy when I walked in, so as I result i didn’t do as well as I could’ve done. When I went into my geography test however, I was happy, healthy, in a good state of mind and ready. As a result of studying, as the fact i was taking care of myself, I got 97% on that test, the highest score I’ve ever got on a test. Take basic self care very seriously and you should find that classes feel nicer for you. Maybe the change won’t feel drastic, but if you look after yourself, you will feel the difference in the long run.

When I say basic self care, I mean : eating well (not too much and not too little), sleeping well (difficult especially if you have a test but please rest well it’s important), staying hydrated (take a bottle of water to school every day, staying hydrated is super important) and finally, have fun! Having fun really helps with stress so don’t forget to take some time to do what you enjoy

Hope you didn’t mind reading all of that! Thank you for reading to those who did

<3

[leonbastralle]

Spammyplies Pt 1 - Chelsea

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “favefavefave”

samesamesame

we’re screwed man

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “pretty ladies and their desserts ♥”

That they are.*-*

i knooooooow i love them all so much i need to add MORE SCENES but...when will i get to gen 8

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “caption this because i can’t”

Mar: Girl, you be looking damn fine, not as fine as my wife but still. Connie: I know.

i don’t know, if mar compliments anyone it’d be char xD but you’re still right!

amixofpixels replied to your post “tumblr pls respect your communicative cummititty and fix IMs”

There are IM problems. I know yesterday my app wasn't for sending things, but it's not been bad today. Also, my internet is not the greatest thing, at current time.

that suuuuucks :/ but my internet is finally good again though!! i missed it so much

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

Look at the matching, well kinda, yellow! ;_____;

don’t point out the almost please XD this was difficult enough

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

Little space buns!

little wave needs to have something cool in her hair, even if it’s not a hat!

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “Emergency play sesh!”

Can I have Connie as my mum, please?

i’m not sure, i feel like she’ll have enough with five kids...also i doubt my tall twig child would be able to throw you in the air!

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “much better!”

This kid's face is amazing. Not as good as Wave, but still A+ quality!

goooooood because...you’re looking at snowdrift’s father...

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “Connie is a proud mum!”

Connie should be, I mean, she helped create the most perfect of children. ;_____;

i know! those tiny miracles ♥

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

Does that mean I have to blo?

best comment of this year to be honest

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “E: I still love you as well. I never stopped, to be honest. A: Good,...”

😖

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “E: I still love you as well. I never stopped, to be honest. A: Good,...”

I will return but my phone is slowly dying.

dude...i just went to look at this post and i’m crying it feels like it’s been y e a r s

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

FINALLY!!!!! 😚

THAT WAS MONTHS AGO FRIEND

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “E: Darling, if you think that’s the only way I feel about you…you’re...”

Hank is being weird, send help please...

i wish i could send all the help for your beautiful baby ♥ i rly rly rly hope the results will be good

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “E: Oh Ally. I tried so hard to forget about you, but I just couldn’t,...”

JUST BE HAPPY, OKAY?

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A: I love you. All I want you to do is to come with me. E: I…I…”

JUST BE HAPPY! THE TIME IS ALMOST GONE.

the time is almost gone?? you probably meant 2017 but now i cry because i didn’t add a twist with limited time or some shit

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

And I appreciate you.

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

I appreciate this.

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A: Really, Gene? Why would I do that! No, I…I wouldn’t be here if…it...”

Can I have a rl version of Eugene?

saaaaaaaaame

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A: The car…you fixed it. I-I like the colors. E: Let’s…not talk about...”

No shit, Sherlock. 😑

Eugene is my fave dumb still :,)

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “E: Darl…Ally! What on earth are you doing here!? You have to stop time...”

I miss Eugene with a passion.

yeah....i’m sorry chelsea. but you

you really

don’t get to complain

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

Aye, of course I bloody well do. 😉

you have good eyes my friend

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A: Wait…there’s light in the garage…maybe…?”

Queue 'hello from the other side'

oh PLEASE no now i have disturbing visuals of ally creeping through the window

amixofpixels replied to your photo

😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚

i knowwwwwwwwww

amixofpixels replied to your photo

I may have to make s4 sims just to be in your gorgeous game again. ��

heh yes that’d be cool...but i don’t have a role to fill currently or for a long time...oRRR well i guess we’ll have to talk abt that

amixofpixels replied to your photo “And she’s not alone ;)”

I may have to make plans with these two. A little wolf legacy, maybe?

pLEAAAAAAAASE imelda deserves some good game time!

amixofpixels replied to your photo “™¥”

Look at her precious little face. I cry. 😭

she’s a good one! i picked her for a reason ;)

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “LOOK WHO’S IN MY GAME IT’S ECHO BROWN”

THIS IS STILL ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVER!!! 😍😍😍

well, i suppose you would like it when i post pics of your sims or when anyone posts pics of your sims ;)

amixofpixels replied to your photo “look how pretty ;_;”

Yes, yes she is. Good work, @temmie-sims

i knowwwwwwww jade is BEST

amixofpixels replied to your photo “Their relationship in a nutshell I suppose.”

But Hank sends his love and licks. 😂

aaaaaaa thank you my best boy!!!

amixofpixels replied to your photo

I'm going to have to play with C&B, soon.

you have to play with EVERYONE

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

I agree, they are Very cute.

they aaaaare ;_; that’s why i still want to give them a story, if possible, after gen 8

amixofpixels replied to your photo

Can I steal all the babies? They are all so perfect.

no...? xD you’d have to ask makayla for one half of them, fable you can have

amixofpixels replied to your photo

It's really going to be the most random of things, you know.

amixofpixels replied to your photo

Hank says hi.

i appreciate the hi and the randomness though! i still can’t believe you went that far back

amixofpixels replied to your photo

Freakin' adorable.

yes. yes.

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “I may have done a little photoshoot with these ♥”

Fable looks so much like Caleb! 😭

that’s because we made her a clone ;)

amixofpixels replied to your post “Yes it’s me again”

😚

amixofpixels replied to your post “Yes it’s me again”

You are my favourite little slotter, ever.

well that’s not so difficult, i’m also the only slotter you know xD

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A: Why are you so nice? F: It’s just in my genes. Also, I love my...”

I'm doing this is with a Hank who keeps hearing fireworks. He doesn't like it.

;_; we did fireworks too, sorry german dogs...

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A: Fable I…I’m in the worst possible situation. I didn’t want to...”

But the babies are cute so no worries, bro.

well that’s not really helping them atm tho XD

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “F: Ally? I’m staying over at Jade’s tonight, will you be okay? A:...”

Don't be jelly baby girl, don't be jelly.

oh but she is, jade was her best friend after all XD at least a tiny bit, with those hormones.

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “F: That sounds wonderful! I can’t wait! See you in a few then. F:...”

I don't think that you are ready, I don't think I'm ready but for the final time in the foreseeable future, LET'S DO THIS!!!

i wasn’t ready, no

amixofpixels replied to your post “2017 - Best Posts (according to a faulty tool)”

I miss everything s3! I'm gonna buy you a new thing okay? 😭

amixofpixels replied to your post “2017 - Best Posts (according to a faulty tool)”

😣😣😣

i don’t need a new thing, i just need gen 8 done xD

amixofpixels replied to your post “And the last 2017 face”

Second thing, that bowtie is A* amazing.

thank youuuu it’s my dad’s xD

amixofpixels replied to your post “And the last 2017 face”

First off, you are adorable and I need to squish you.

aaaaaaa please don’t my cheeks are not soft at all

[wannawrite]

Melting Of The Ice Cream Girl [ pt.2 ]

PD101 / MXM’s Im Youngmin X Reader [fem ver] part one TW: use of vulgar language, mild violence i think… better to put these up anyway Fluff, mild angst bullet-point ver. [ scenario ver. : coming soon ] • some stuff happens that makes you go all ICE princess where is ice cream girl • your stare could freeze Youngmin • can Youngmin still melt you? oMGgg guys idk what’s wrong with me i’m on a roll right now but i literally re-read part one and got super happy after that like it didn’t even feel like I wrote it okay bye buT yAY IM SO HAPPY YOU LOVE IT ANON I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE TOO EVEN THOUGH I’M BAD AT WRITING ANGST gOD BLESS - admin L PS: sorry but scenario ver. might take a long time :((( ___________ • it’s pretty awkward still • you can’t stop blushing • Youngmin can’t stop talking to you • and chuckling when you barely nod out a reply • your face is like a tomato • what is a regular heartbeat anymore? • Youngmin’s so perfect you can’t even breathe the same air as him it isn’t possible • but he seems happy sharing the same table as you • as much as his sunbae + chaebol™ clique is yelling for him and Donghyun to return to them • they stay rooted to their seats • and somehow it makes you really happy on the inside • but on the outside, it looks as if your glare can get hell to freeze over • you try to get Woojin or Daewhi’s help but they’re so engrossed in conversation about something personal with Donghyun • that Youngmin feels that he shouldn’t interfere with because he isn’t interrupting • he’s just admiring your face and picking at his fries • also trying to start a conversation with you • at least he’s trying and you really appreciate it 

• suddenly you have this nudge of confidence and you blurt out • ‘you’re in the same mathematics class as Mina, aren’t you, oppa?’ • deadass Youngmin’s pupils dilate when you call him that • moVING ON • he smiles and nods his head • ‘yeah i know mina, she’s cool. we actually sit next to each other in class.’ • then silence • … • *crickets chirping* • ‘yo Y/N why don’t you tell Youngmin and Donghyun about the game you created’ • oh god Woojin why • your best friends are grinning smugly at you • the focus shifts to you • ‘uh…uh, it’s nothing much really…’ you try to avoid it • but the hopeful and interested look on Youngmin’s face makes you give in • ‘It’s like…idk what we call it but for now, we call it mall hide and seek’ ( made up game by yours truly™ ) • so like hide and seek but across the whole mall and you can text clues and whatnot • Youngmin and Donghyun want to play • sunbae + chaebol™ clique hears and joins in as well • resulting in your face resembling a tomato • one of the boys in the clique makes fun of your blushing face • 'yah! don’t laugh at her like that, it’s rude of you.’ Youngmin defends • yOU aRE SHocKED • diD MY CRUSH JUST DO THAT ??? • uHM YES SIS HE DID • 'oh, it’s okay….’ • 'but thank you Youngmin’ • oKAY HIS ENTIRE FACE LIGHTS UP • hE’s SUDDENLY GLOWING • and that makes you crack a smile • even though it’s a tiny one • you guys get up to leave • and Youngmin refuses to leave your side for some reason but you don’t really care • because • who would? He’s Im Youngmin • you’re blessed if he approaches you • and he’s your crush so • you guys start playing • and Youngmin decides to hide in the supermarket • so you find yourself squashed in the tissue paper section with a laughing Im Youngmin • he doubts the finders would ever search in behind a wall of tissue boxes • thank god no one reports ya’ll • you’re giggling so hard it kinda unlocks your crazier side • you feel like you can reveal a bit of your true self to Youngmin • he seems trustworthy • suddenly your phone chimes • your mum needs you to buy some spices • sighing reluctantly, you emerge from your hiding spot and Youngmin follows you • you try to push him back since Woojin and Sewoon have already found Donghyun, Samuel and Kenta • skillz™ • but he’s like 'no i can’t leave you, we hide together, we die together’ • even though it’s possibly the dumbest thing he has ever said, your heart flutters uncontrollably • you roll your eyes but grabs his hand and drags him along • Youngmin is sHOokeTH • shES HOLDING MY HAND OH MY GODDHDKSHSKDB • you don’t even realise because skinship is such a common thing with your friends • Youngmin is about to faint from happiness • he can die happy • you grab a basket and start searching for things from the list • surprisingly, Youngmin takes and interest and also helps you to get things • he also tells you about how his parents use roughly the same types of herbs • also helps you reach the top shelf if you can’t • just looking like a domestic couple • newly weds • like the wholesome couple just grocery shopping together • you find yourself enjoying it so much you don’t feel as if Youngmin is a acquaintance • he asks for your number • and you two chat a lot as you’re grabbing items • when your just finishing at the cashier • Jung Sewoon, a member of the sunbae + chaebol™ clique spots you two • 'there!’ • you hastily thank the cashier and make a run for it • grabbing Youngmin’s hand and your stuff of course • you manage to outrun the school’s star tracker, Takada Kenta • 'yo dude, let’s let them go to the rooftop and do romantic shit before ambushing them’ • 'do you guys want bubble tea?’ • 'i bet Youngmin’s going to kiss her first’ • Samuel loses the bet • you guys are up on the rooftop sky garden • how romantic • you guys out breath and struggling to catch it while doubling over in laughter • 'did we lose them?’ Youngmin asks • 'i thinks we did’ you reply, giggling • 'you’re crazy, Y/N. I love it’ he says • you’re caught off guard but recovers quickly • nOW OR NEVER Y/N • you pull him close by his fancy as tie bc he’s a sunbae + chaebol and loves dressing up • tip-toeing • 'then i suppose you’ll love this’ • before you can back out, you press your lips to his • hE IS STUNNED • you break away but he pulls you back in to kiss you more • honestly, you don’t know what you guys are but you know the feeling is mutual • you do go home with a heavy heart after he doesn’t say anything about a future relationship • at least he was your first kiss • but you’re absolutely crushed when Youngmin arrives to school in his fancy ass car on Monday • he isn’t alone • it’s like a scene in a drama • and this pretty, tall, rich girl steps out on the other side • you were halfway done the steps to meet him but you just turn around and storm the other way • your temper has been tested • 'you don’t want to mess with Y/N, she’ll ice you to death’ • you’re mad, why? • Youngmin can’t make out with you on Friday but come to school with another girl on Monday • what’s worse? you spent the whole weekend texting him • he was behaving super sweet and lovey dovey • clearly interested • and now…. • they aren’t related • so she’s a competition • she’s his dad’s boss’s daughter who transferred schools halfway through Sophomore year • she isn’t in any of your classes but she seems like a fairly pleasant person • Hyemi and Mina aren’t having it either, since they know about your little incident • you can’t even look at Youngmin • he’s confused when you don’t return the smile or wave • i guess she never really liked me ??? • lol son im sorry but u dumb • ( yOungmIN SWEETIE IM SORRY IM DOING YOU SO DIRTY RIGHT NOW ) • he asks about you in math class but Mina just shrugs in response • it continues for a week • you can’t exactly kick the poor innocent girl out of school can you? • but she seems to want to extend her 15 seconds of new girl fame • she goes around bragging about how she and suuupppeerr close • 'oh! we were just in his room watching a movie yesterday’ she says to her little group of Freshman fangirls • 'did you two cuddle?’ one of them pipes up, eyes wide • 'yupp! we live in the same house for now so we’re super close. the mansion is huge.’ • basically, she’s trying to brag about being Youngmin’s friend • Kenta told you that Youngmin’s only nice to her because she’s like his annoying little sister and his dad would have his head if he isn’t • you hold you temper but one day • she’s just sitting there in the canteen outrightly insulting Samuel for being the 'poorest’ in the sunbae + chaebol™ squad and being mixed • ( i fcking love samuel how dare you not like him just bc he’s mixed im mixed too wtf wtf wtf i still don’t understand ) • you just about beat Donghyun to confrontation • 'it’s funny how you laugh at others for small things like that but you don’t even have enough money for your own house,“ you hiss even though it’s a really low jab to take at her • you have 0 chill when it comes to your friends, even though Samuel isn’t the closest • the Sophomore pushes out her chair and stands up to meet your eye but she’s still shorter than you • 'eXCuSE mE?’ • 'you heard me. you talk shit about Samuel yet you’re living off the Im family.’ • the Sophomore bitch shoves you as hard as she can but you barely wavers • 'LIsTEN! I cAN taLK abOut whOEVER i waNt tO. SamUEL DOESN’t belONG iN thAT cLiqUe. WhO tF dO yOU tHiNK YOu ARe?’ • you scoff, mildly amused by this Sophomore • 'someone Youngmin oppa actually likes’ • she screams so shrilly it causes your ears to bleed before lifting her hand • you catch it before Hyemi and Mina can interfere • leaning to her ear, 'you have no right to look down on someone just because of their social status or because of their race.’ • 'it was joke’ she whimpers out as your grip on her tightens • 'there’s a fine line making a joke and being a bitch but I guess you’re both’ you spit, releasing her arm • she tries to shove you again ??? lololol this girl issa joke • suddenly, you’re wretched away • Youngmin storms out of the canteen but before he can, you yank your hand out of his grasp, glowering at him • 'you don’t deserve me!’ you yell, anger bubbling over • he’s speechless but you still follow him to the bleachers in the gymnasium • there’s a really long and bitter silence • 'thanks…on behalf of Samuel, you didn’t need to….Donghyun would’ve-’ • 'Samuel’s my friend, of course I should have’ you cut off, 'what do you want anyway? i need to go.’ • Youngmin catches your arm as you turn to leave, 'why are you ignoring me? what did I do?’ • you raise your eyebrows at him in disbelief, 'Im Youngmin, you are one of the smartest students in this school. you should know what you did’ • he shakes his head and hangs it in shame • 'i don’t know? how about…making out with me on Friday, texting me all weekend just like a boyfriend would but showing up on Monday with a girl and not denying any of the shit she’s spewing? i don’t even know anymore’ • he’s apologising countlessly but you don’t even know anymore • you’re out off the gymnasium before he can catch you again … • it’s been another week since that entire fiasco and everything has settled down since then • Samuel won’t get over the fact that you stuck up for him and nearly got suspended • Sophomore did get suspended because she initiated the fight • you ignored Youngmin the whole time as much as your heart ached and as much as you cried but it was too mentally pressing to try to keep up with a guy like him • one day, a letter falls out of your locker when you open it • it’s from your alpaca boy • 'y/n, i’m sorry. hear me out, we can make this work. 3 pm, basketball courts’ • Hyemi and Mina caution you, even Woojin and Daewhi are skeptical but you’re at the basketball courts at precisely 3 pm • Youngmin’s already waiting for you on one of the benches, he smiles - which you can’t return - and gestures for you to come closer • 'i’m sorry i behaved like that. i had a lot going on, believe me when I say I argued with my parents for an hour when they told me about…Anna’s arrival. it was unexpected and I didn’t exactly like her.’ he sighed 'i guess i really f*cked with you without even realising. I’m sorry. I should have made things clear from the start to her. I’m sorry I played with your emotions and that she said such things.’ • 'what did you want to make clear?’ you prodded, hope rising in your chest • Youngmin’s eyes met your own and his hand enclosed yours, beaming. 'that I want to be with you, because I like you’ • you’re elated but at the same time, you can’t accept how things are • 'I-I’ll have to… think about it…with all that’s happened,’ you stammer • the smile on his face falls but he nods understandingly • 'I understand. I’m willing to wait for you.’ • your answer isn’t immediate and Youngmin got pushed to the greatest lengths to try to win you back • he really isn’t giving up • honestly, you’re touched he’s courting you for so long • it was entertaining for his clique and yours which had bonded together to form one power squad • eventually, you fall for his advances once again • you’re truly an ice cream girl • sweet, crazy, cold and sticks to Youngmin’s lips • it isn’t like he’s complaining

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

I am extremely curious how dumb this loser has acted this time if your whole fam is like >>>>>>>>

BRUH IT IS TEA TIME

and upfront as i said in the tags, this isn’t super hot scalding tea like the time he cheated, but just dumbfuckery and him not wanting to learn while also being an ass. so yeah no biggie just idioticy but like.... i also hate his guts so lmao so i mentally make it all worse in my head cause i hate him

so my sister and bf work together cause he is kinda creepy and keeps switching jobs when she switches jobs so that he can work with her btw did i tell you he is very controlling and obsessive about her whereabouts he even called my mum once when he couldnt find her on the tracking app that he wanted her to have on her phone ANYWAY also working as a waiter at the same restaurant

and disclaimer: working as a waiter or not having the highest grades do not make you dumb. sheer and utter incompetence to grasp that you’re an idiot and not wanting to improve makes you dumb. he’s the latter.

also context: my entire family has worked in wait staff

BASICALLY he absolutely fucking sucks at his job up till the point where my sister can’t handle working with him and again, it’s his first time waiting tables so he can learn BUT THIS BITCH has the audacity to command my sister all the time and boss her around when my sister points out that he sucks

and we all go: “this is kinda rude and unreal, cause he has no business acting so bossy when he doesn’t even put any effort in his work”

sis: “yeah but he is just trying to be kind he doesn’t want to be bossy or rude”

us: “.... GIRL if he can’t wait tables that is fine but when you call him out on it or want to help him, he gotta know that you know better”

and tbh my entire fam is just like... HOW can she not see this? like, she talks about the crappy stuff he does at work (like rudely yelling from 2 metres apart to guests: “yo, you guys done? want the receipt?” when my sister asks him to ask if guests want the receipt) and she keeps asking for confirmation that she’s not bad for thinking he’s bad at his job (“you guys think that’s weird too, right? i mean, you shouldn’t do that, right? so you say it’s rude, okay, right? i am not wrong in feeling uncomfortable and embarrased, right?”)

so we confirm that it is just bad manners but that he can learn like we all did, since waiting tables is a skill (which, as you read, he puts no effort in), but she still just.... idk... i sometimes thinks she doesn’t want to admit that he is just not the perfect guy that she wants him to be. and she knows that he isn’t perfect. one thing that i GENUINELY admire from my sister is that she does not put up with all the crap he pulls (altho... i also dont understand why they just haven’t broken up yet like when will she SNAP). but yeah, she immediately jumps into his defense and i just think that it’s shitty. she knows he’s being unnecessarily rude and that she knows better. we confirm that multiple times. and then she immediately goes “oh but no he isn’t commanding he’s just- he doesn’t know better”

... babe

also since this guys is so unnecessarily obsessive about my sister’s behaviour and he continuously criticises her for little things she likes, i also just cant fucking stand him having the sheer audacity to act controlling and commanding over this. but he’s also a fucking cunt so i couldve seen it coming so me being surprised is on me i guess

basically i felt my braincells diE  every time my sister talked about how bad he is at his job and AGAIN it’s a skill that you can learn and i can imagine that he just never was in that environment before but just the lack of motivation to even try to learn is YIKES to me, especially since my sister is the most driven person ever. she works hard for things she wants. she flaunts her knowledge. i mean do i think she’s stupid for taking him back in the first place, yeah, but apart from that i cannot emphasise how competent she is

but this relationship just also brings out the worst in my sister and the gap in competence makes it worse and worse

WHICH LEADS TO PART 2

his sorry ass hasn’t finished high school after failing several times and AGAIN that does not make a person less valuable (academic pretention is yikes), but he doesn’t even try and basically me and the fam believe he is straight up lying now cause he was supposed to hear if he has finally graduated around a month ago

my sis: “oh, he said he hasn’t gotten results yet”

us: “.... you know that all high schools are closed since the year has ended and that summer vacation started 1 week ago and that the test happened more than a month ago”

my sis: “YEAH but there’s less strictness and more extensions due to corona”

me: “yeah true but i just did a 5 second google search and even the extended deadline is over”

fam: “has he at least applied for further education??”

sis: “well no but he says he still has time”

me: “YEAH and ANOTHER 5 second google search showed that that extended deadline ended 2.5 months ago”

AND AGAIN your scholary achievements do not make you any less value bla bla bla, but he had A WHOLE DAMN YEAR to do one subject and even my sister said that it’s super easy and she doesnt get why he hasn’t passed it, but he just did nothing and he knows that my sister finds it very important that he can at least do something cause again she’s super driven and it makes her feel bad of her achievements

which is a RED FLAG. you know, women having to tone down their achievements in order to not outshine men’s fragility cause they don’t want a woman to be better than them

but i think she just realised that he’d been lying and yeah we all felt kinda bad for her, cause she doesn’t deserve that. she left and me and my parents just looked at each other like “would he lie about something so big?”

all of us collectively: “YEAH”

... i mean, he lied about cheating

i just for once want him to stop lying with his hypocritical ass. this bitch lies all the damn time but the moment he finds out my sister called a boy a year ago before they were dating, he needs to hear EVERYTHING (lol about that one time he tried to expose my sister for talking to a guy regularly even before they were dating.... it was our cousin Bobbie). so yeah he needs to know everything or he gets super weird but he can lie about shit like this (and cheating cause truly i wont be surprised if he’s done it again tbh)

and ugh this is a messy reply but just.... 

I FIND HIM SO STUPID FOR THIS and i feel so bad for my sister cause i can imagine that it’s not nice for her to hear all of this either, but FACE IT, this dude hasn’t tried to do shit for a year and now he’s lying and it just makes me so damn mad and she needs to hear it

i feel like this isn’t even the worst thing he’s done cause not knowing how to wait tables does not make you a bad human being, but this relationship is so incredibly unhealthy and toxic that ive reached a point that i am even worried for his well-being (and i FUCKING HATE HIS GUTS). this relation makes both of them so vile and it shows their worst and toxic sides, and i know my sister only does it to show him how unhealthy his behaviour is, but come on COME ON one day she’s gonna snap/

so these things just make it all worse for them in the bigger picture and either he gotta clear up his act or they just gotta break the fuck up

since i have no hope in the first possibility, im gonna join my grandma in praying for the second one

and that’s why we’re all like >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[mitchellmarnthews]

Auston Matthews ~ Never be alone

So sorry I’ve not posted one of these in a while! Been super busy again, but I’m back to writing again and hopefully posting a lot more frequently!!

Really not sure about this imagine, so I’d really appreciate some feedback please! :)) Requests are also open and I’m running low, so send me some!

Requested: Yes

”hi gorgeous, could i request an auston one where he meets a really lonely girl who prob has really bad anxiety/depression and shows her the love she deserves?? im kinda vague on this one but i want you to have freedom on it too:)) thanks bb”

Warnings: Mentions of death, sadfic

For @toronthoes So sorry this took so long! :(

–———–— is a Time Lapse

*Auston’s POV*

Being late for an early morning practice was not the position you currently wanted to be in, as you exited the small coffee shop.

You had entered the shop over 15 minutes ago and hadn’t expected it to be that busy, this early in the day. Ofcourse, considering you had overslept and were already running late, something else was bound to go wrong. Hence the crowded shop.

You dodged by people, trying to make your way back to Mitch’s car. God he was going to kill you for making him late as well.

Being so focused on the car ahead, you didn’t notice the small girl infront of you until she was pressed up against your chest and your coffee was covering her shirt.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking and I’m kinda in a hurry.” You tried to sound sincere and not dismissive, like you were sure you did.

A small smile graced her face, “It’s fine.” She squeaked out. Her volume so quiet, you barely heard her.

“Um look I really have to go, but how about I buy you a coffee or something, sometime to make up for your shirt.”

“It’s okay, I’ve experienced a lot worse than a stained shirt. You don’t have to buy me anything.”

You were a little taken aback by her reply, expecting her to take you up on the offer, and she scurried off before you could reply.

You walked towards the car, still a little dazed, which Mitch immediately picked up on, “You alright?”

“Yeah, fine. Hurry up, gotta get to practice.”

——–———–———–———–———–—–———–—–———–—–———–—

Over the next few weeks, the mystery girl constantly plagued your thoughts, rolling around in your head.

Even though she had smiled at you, you could tell there was sadness lurking beneath, and you wanted to change that.

You returned to the small coffee shop a couple of times, hoping she was a regular or at least visited it sometime, but she was never there.

At least, until nearly a month later when she finally walked through the doors. You had just finished your coffee and were preparing to leave when you caught sight of her long brown hair and small frame.

“Hey, I don’t know if you remember me? I bumped into you in the street a few weeks ago. I spilled my coffee all down you,” you continued, hoping she’d remember, “I was hoping to catch you again.”

Confusion turned to understanding within a few minutes of her staring at you, finally recognising your face.

“Oh yeah. I already said it was fine, you really didn’t have to come back and find me.” She replied, with that small smile that never did quite reach her eyes.

“Oh I know, I just… There’s something about you, and I don’t know what it is, but I’d really love to have coffee with you, get to know you maybe?”

“Eh, yeah sure, I guess that would be okay.”

You gave her a small grin and motioned over to the table you had been sitting at a few minutes ago.

As the two of you spent the next hour or so talking, you noticed she was quite closed off and never really seemed to meet your eyes when the two of you were talking about family or friends. You just assumed she was a private person, and not very comfortable around you yet.

However, as the weeks dragged on and the coffee dates became a weekly occurrence, you noticed that as soon as family or friends was brought up she immediately closed up.

You decided that after almost 3 months of coffee dates, it was time to ask her about it.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure Auston, what’s up?” She asked with a smile.

“Why do you always close up when I bring up friends or family, you completely change.”

You watched the smile drop off of her face and immediately regretted the decision as you watched her stutter out an apology and goodbye, and flee the shop.

You left a tip on the table and immediately rushed through the door, after her.

“Y/N, wait up.”

You finally caught up to her in the local park, where you found her sitting on one of the benches with her face in her hands.

Her sobs broke your heart and you didn’t understand what had just happened.

Sitting down next to her you placed an arm around her shoulders, trying to comfort her.

Her sobs eventually turned to sniffles, after some time, and when she raised her head, your heart broke all over again. Her eyes bloodshot and red, tear trackmarks staining her flawless complexion.

“I’m, uh, sorry for running out on you like that, it’s just when you brought up friends and family, I couldn’t stay…”

“Hey, no, you don’t have to apologise. I shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place, it’s obviously a sore subject for you and I clearly wasn’t thinking.”

A small smile graced her face at that.

“Look, I just want you to know that if you want to tell me about it, then I’m always here, but don’t feel the need to just because I want to know. It’s your private life and you share it with who you want to. I just want you to know I don’t judge and I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

The two of you had gotten close over the last three months and you wanted to show her that she was supported and had love from you, no matter what.

“I appreciate that, Auston. I know it’s gonna be hard for me to talk about this, but you deserve to know.”

You grabbed her hand as a sign of comfort.

“I lost my mum and dad in a car accident a few years ago. We were travelling to go see my aunt, some drunk driver crashed straight into us and they both died on impact. I took it really hard, as you can imagine, and I cut myself off from everyone as a result. I stopped speaking to my friends, stopped going to school, it was all just too much for me to handle. I felt like I was worthless without them and I didn’t know what to do. I learned how to do things for myself and how to take care of myself, but it didn’t make things any easier. The last few years have been hell for me, and I haven’t wanted to be around anyone. That was until you bumped into me on the street. Staring into your eyes, I felt a way I hadn’t since my parents died. It was like a second chance. These past few months you’ve given me an outlet for my sadness and helped me to see the world in a way I haven’t for quite sometime now. The reason I ran out was because I didn’t want you to think different of me, I’ve enjoyed having someone treat me like a normal person for once.”

As she finished, you sat awestruck by what she had gone through and how difficult her life had been. You felt a sense of protection and care for the girl, even more than you had before, now.

“Wow, I honestly don’t know what to say. You’ve been through one of the worst things imaginable and done it all alone. I want you to know that even though you may think you’re better alone, that you don’t have to be. I promise that I’ll try to at least help you feel somewhat normal, and help you to see the beauty in the world you may think is no longer there. I know it is because I’m looking at it right now. I’m always gonna be here from now on, you don’t have to go through this alone anymore.

Thanks for reading!

Up next: William Nylander

[chickenfetus]

ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao 

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue 

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight 

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me) 

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6?????? 

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post 

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip 

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character 

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!! 

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ????? 

31:  Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33:  Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM 

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37:  How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i…���…………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool! 

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

[suffering-tm]

a friend of mine commented on how "skinny" I was...and honestly at the point I am now comments like this only make me want to stop eating entirely...when i came back home i kept looking at myself in the mirror but i just couldn't see it.i don't know what i look like!!! and last night was really hard because i was going back and forth between eating or not and I couldn't stop crying because I was feeling so bed and as a result I went to bed really late.i was in a bad mood today and they could see it and my mum kept asking questions and i wanted to be honest!!! that's all I want,I want to talk about it!!! but I couldn't!!!! i don't know what to do,I feel like im gonna be like this forever... i genuinely feel like I don't DESERVE to eat!! I don't deserve food at all lmao I don't need it!! my brain won't shut up lmao!!

[chaosbisexual]

i know. im sure.

u asked for it darling,, ilu xx 

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

YEs. Either or i love boys i love girls I LOVE LOVE 

2.When did your last hug take place?

like friday?? idk i’ve only ever been w my fam this weekend and we’re not super huggy

3.Are you a jealous person?

Hah,,, no,,, yes. 

4.Are you tired right now?

A lil bit. i had a nice sleep in today. 

5.Do you chew on your straws?

yes. anxious habit. and i get bored. yes. 

6.Have you ever been called a tease?

no i never get much attention of that sort and i’m lowkey happy abt that. 

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

no i love sleep and dreaming too much for that 

8.Do you cry easily?

depends??? like movies, yes, frustration, yes, but i don’t cry when i’m sad unless its like groundbreakingly awful. 

9.What should you be doing right now?

doing homework and writing arsenic (my tom riddle fic which i love)

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?

again, depends on how much i need sleep. usually, i think.

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

HAH. HAH. HAH. no one could put up w me for that long also i have some sort of commitment issues bc i’m scared of them getting bored and not being enough

12.Are you mad at someone right now?

no,, i dont think so ??

13.Do you believe in love?

yes. i have to. yes. 

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

AVPM. hands down. love it. also nathan zed, love, actually and doctor who innuendos. 

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

my dad?? irl and one of my friends over messenger

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

YES

17.Will you get married?

idk?? i’d have to find someone who i love that much?? and they’d have to love me too?? 18.When was the last time you smiled?

in the shower probs. i have good thoughts in the shower. (just daydream thoughts)

19.Does anyone like you?

THIS IS FUNNIER THAN THE RELATIONSHIP ONE hAH. PROBABLY NOT. (i’m assuming this means crushing, so HAH.)20.Do you secretly like someone?

no i mean yes i mean what

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?

dad. 

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@acestephendene

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

EXAMS 

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

finishing my godamn fic, bc it means so much to me but i’ll be so happy to finish it bc it will mean that i can write a book!

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

if you’re talkin abt any kind of love, then i think my dad means it. but other that no, bc i’m not that gr8 at makin ppl love me or bein in relationships

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

turn around and walk away bc they deserve to be happy (this has happened and i was well and truly over it so i was fine lol)27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

no but i hate this town so i guess i wish i was 

28.Are you a forgiving person?

yes. probably too much, but its fine. 

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?

5 or 6?? 

30.Do you fall for people easily?

not really? i fall for people for reasons i dont understand and its annoying but i dont fall for people easily??

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

no comment. (although it was only a crush i never did anything abt it im sry)

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

my water bottle straw???

33.Who was the last person you drove with?

my step mum i think ??

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?

just until midnight, bc i was watching a movie (anna karenina - it was p good)

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Y E S ,, I CANNOT SCREAM IT LOUDER (@ london one day soon i’m comin 4 u )

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?

a friend for a photography project @ school

37.Can you live a day without TV?

i mean ?? yes ?? i watch all my shows on my laptop so,,, i just couldnt live w/o my phone i admit that

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

my maths results a few weeks ago i think?

39.Three names you go by..

ali, alex, alexandra (added bonuses; cabbage / peanut :))))

40.Are you currently in a relationship?

one last time,,, hAH HAHAH. no.

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

i cannot pick one for the life of me, so here’s a top 3; ten things, love, actually, and love, rosie.

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

no. just because i think the people you need and who you want to be and be with will change as you grow.

43.What’s your current problem?

exams are a’comin. 

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

i don’t think so?? i’m so inexperienced w matters of the heart that i’m afraid that maybe i just won’t know what is when my heart breaks. i’ve definitely been hurt over some ex-maybes, though. 

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

they work if you are 100% committed and make space for each other. and if you actually see each other regularly. (my now married sister is proof it can work)

46.How many kids do you want to have?

two or three?? (lyra, andromeda and orion are the dream names. i have now claimed them btw :)))

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

this is funny bc its like the person who made this knows where 2 stab me. 

yes. extremely. it hurts. and has caused issues more than once. probs why i have no love life.

i’m so sorry i hope i didnt overwhelm u. i love u. i’m probs so boring oops x

[khlln]

The Gay Kid

Word had gotten out. Who knew the language we speak, became to plague that runs along our tongues. Who knew the compliments we use to brighten peoples day, and uplift people out of depression were the things that were turned and swindled by humans to create offences. Being homosexual now correlates to being a sinner? Being gay is now tied to a negative slanter? Grade 7: The Senior Primary Year. Of the time it was a big thing. Rocking up to class, sitting down i realise all of my class were the popular kids, with the odd 5 nerds in the back. Hmm. Now I think you could have assumed where I sat, well obviously next to the nerds. I mean, after last year, I really couldnt deal with the bullshit, or the drama. Maybe it had fizzled over the holidays? Maybe it had been forgotten. I sit next to this guy, not a nerd, but a 'nerd'. He was super adorable, and today he's hot as fuck but different story. We sat together for a while, chillin, listenin, readin, collecting time to buy while the final year of primary school breezes by. But by breath a blizzard come quick. Freezing time a boy turns around and asks with a nice clear and crisp voice, for even the teacher to hear, 'Are you two dating?' I had honestly thought, you have to be fucking kidding me. This bullshit has gone on long enough. At this point bullying couldnt be dealt with, it would be useless. 'The Gay Kid' branded me for the next half year. Hanging with the in crowd didnt help too much, nor did hanging with the out crowd. Either way, boys were boys, and they are hot. Idk even people to this day look at me like im some disgusting child rapist. Like what act of crime have I gone through for you to give me this look? I cant look my own way? Playing on my mind was the thought of the new year, new school. New me? New identity? A fresh start. That all comes later on. He was super super cute, this guy I would sit next to. I became attracted to him, which was scary at first cause like from being 'hard' over a girl was the norm, in class boys first made reference to wanking, purely from seeing the side ads on school websites. Child-friendly porn you could call it. This idea of a guy kinda hit me where it 'shouldnt have'. The idea of me becoming to this idea churned my stomach. Made me sick. How could I be so disgusting, so vulgar. 'Gay is not the way' played on in my head for so so so long. For anyone who asked, I was the femenine straight kid. I was the pretty, i dont care what anyone thinks kid. I was the strong one. But from where it broke me, it made me. Sure I was the bent kid, who sat alone, but i was never sitting alone was I. Cause I had me. And me, myself, and I pulled myself from out of this shit hole, and put me where i am today. 'The' Gosh make it sound official hey. An isolated character. The. what a profound title. I am the only one. you are lone. at least thats how I felt. Suicide crossed my mind so many times through this period. I thought, if my body wanted to get off to a male's persona rather than a females than why not be in the ground. my mum wont love me? my dad wont? my little sister will be like tf? i felt worthless. I felt hopeless. the kids who would stare and wonder how I could be so different. To the kids who read this and stood by my side through this, thank you, you arent neglected. but if you dont hear yourself be mentioned, then news flash, you werent there to help me. and funny how ive mentioned no one yet. 'Gay' The new sin. The new punishment. What did I do to deserve this? I would go home, and google 'am i gay quiz' or the classic 'how to know if your gay' in google incognito, and look up whether the internet could tell me something i had to tell me myself. it would tell me all kinds of bullshit. it got to the point, where i was sick and tired of crying myself to sleep so much, that i would fake thw results, so I could feel better about myself. but a dark pond willowes beneath me. dark waters swelled. who knows, if your mind sits happy, doesnt mean your heart does. 'Kid' Keep in kind im 12. A twelvie. A selfie junky, long haired, sweaty-rat-like homosexual twelve year old. And I hated myself. Gosh dont i sound horrible. I went from first hearing the word, 'Gay' to now wearing it like my own. Fuck yeah I was the gay kid, you're god damn right I was. This wasnt over, this is only just beginning. Cause you see, the trick I fell down was, believing that finding true happiness comes at the age of 12, pro tip it doesnt. The year goes by, a few death threats, a near death, a near boyfriend, a near girlfriend, 2 girlfriends. I was so scared omg. MANY CRUSHES, many heart breaks. much disappointment. and finally down, to graduation. we graduate. we leave. we. dont. look. back. The final time I saw this guy I turned away and walked off. I didnt cry, I didnt tear, I cried to the first girl I could truely say I liked. How the days have changed. She changed, she changed me. I sit here crying now thinking of how stupid it was, only grade 7. It wasnt the buildings, it wasnt the school. It was the memories that lay within these areas. I wouldve much have rathered being thrown, into a concrete wall, being called gay, then being somewhere new. It had finally hit me. The old has gone, the grade has left. We drove off, into the distance. The gay kid planted in my brain, who knew where it would grow. who knew where it would take me. Who knew who was next to come. And boy wasn't he a nightmare.

[mirokuna-hime]

All of the plants

Oh my …God! thank you so much rabbah

This goes under a cut because this is really long and sometimes I couldn’t stop rambling

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with:

headphones (I’ve got 6 and they are all lying around the house because I#m always hearing music),everything chocolate flavored,literature,games aaannd cats

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?

I’m pretty hard to crack honestly but if something makes my heart go mushy it’s friendship? Like if I see a beautiful supportive friendship of two people who trust each other unconditionally my heart just melts. Cheeta and Patsu of Castle in the sky (my favorite ghibli movie btw)is a prime example of that. Everyone deserves a friend like Patsu!

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

O-zone - Dragostea din tei !                                                                        Numa, numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa yay!~ 

Sorry I got carried away a little. This is such an old song , a song of my childhood to be exact but I love it so much I can’t keep my feet still once the first few seconds of this song start playing.

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?

I have no sleeping playlist, but sometimes they have radioplays with the horror genre in the radio sooo yeah I listen to that to fall asleep (they also do Ann of Green Gables sometimes but pssshhht!)

forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?

@checkurselfb4umachuwreckurself I really love his content but i actually don’t mind him not following me since my blog is a mess!

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

plastic plants…Listen I’m really not good with flowers or anything green, I killed a cactus once and the palm tree in my room isn’t looking that healthy either v.v But my mum won’t allow me one because of all the dust…

calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?

rainy evening 100% I like thunderstorms even more I think they’re relaxing, a nice book/movie, some tea, some snacks and here you have my dream of an evening

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

ughhhh dammit, I love so many colours especially pastels but if you really want me to choose it’s burgundy? I like any colour with some violet in it to be fair…

lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

My initial thought was “cats!” but I can keep some once I moved out so that doesn’t count. And this now, is goin to sound completely stupid but ..blonde hair. I wanted to be blondewith bright green eyes (I’m a sucker for green eyes)  since I was a small child. My hair is dark brown with a lot of red in it so colouring it isn’t really an option my skintone also doesn’t fit well with blonde hair so rip my aesthetics…

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

I dreamed I failed my music test, which I was supposed to be writing today but it was cancelled…

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

Never had cotton candy, chocolate, good old classic orange juice

painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

I’m more of a painter, I doodle rather often but I feel insecure about my results maybe one day I will upload something. I’m a disaster when it comes to music to be honest…

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

natural,since I don’t wear make up, I never learned how to use it properly. I’ll look like clown if I would try it now also i feel uncomfortable with it.

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

Neither I’m terrified of insects (and spiders) of any kind so even a butterfly will freak me out. I love both but I’m more of a cat person.

sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?

chocolate…and I have a very sweet tooth

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

I’d rather be a mermaid that way I can’t drown, which is number one of my list in “Ways I don’t want to Die” (yes I also have a list in ways I would “like” to day before you ask)

sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

Im boring. I would like to call him/her by his/her name or a shortform of it. I only use petnames on actual pets. I call them baby, beautiful, sweety etc. 

sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?

butterfly style but I’m horribly slow and a bad swimmer.

windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why i like them

@sasstral, @xionchan and @checkurselfb4umachuwreckurself I like the content! and the humour! and the people!

@reijiakabutt and @pendulum-sonata :These two are by far not the biggest fans of zexal,but I like reading their rants and they changed my opinions on lots of things plus I like to see things from a different perspective (same goes for @kaguranzu)

golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?

I’m a great cook but my desserts are even better! 

bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?

I don’t want children but i would propably tell them that it is fine to make mistakes and have regrets, you just need to accept them and grow from that experience!

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

I wish my family would have been alot more convincing at telling me that “santa is real” ! Every Chrisrmas was hell for the pour soul who had to put on the santa costume because I was a little shit and didn’t believe in santa and searched for proof that he doesn’t exist every. goddamn. christmas! I apologize for that mum.

prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?

never had one

september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

sunset, I see it every morning while I walk to school

bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?

wake up early but go to bed rather late..I don’t know how I manage to do this

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

google translate told me it’s rose hips tea…should I trust him?

peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?

My first dog was named: Trixie, my second Lucky. I have two birds that are called: Berry and Litschi

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

the name of my palm tree ist Bernd

lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?Why not both?

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

dip!

dandelion: any special talent that you have?

Teachers have been telling me I’m gifted at writing and anylyzing! I#m proud of that