#my mother was able to pick up on it and I’m p sure she didn’t even know superboy existed until she saw that comic

[i-dont-r3member]

Throwback to that time my mom picked up superboy man of tomorrow #1 for me from a free comic giveaway at work because, and I quote, “it looked gay”

[cassayeee]

MY LITTLE SECRET (FINNICK ODAIR X FEM!READER)

warnings: porn with quite a bit of plot (i can never just write a oneshot), emotional sex, p in v, oral (f receiving), virginity loss, slight marking, mentions of killing, death, and suicidal thoughts (this is the hunger games), just be wary fr - minors stay away

notes: so this was a request from @theBridgetopanem on ao3 and, ugh, it's just so cute. love me some soft boy finnick. once again, very quickly edited so sorry for any grammatical mistakes. anywho - make sure to like, reblog, and comment! love u all <3

word count: 9.4k

summary:

No one truly understands the deception of humanity more than those who have the power to take it away. To push innocents against innocents and make sure nothing more than blood and broken souls remains where hope and naivety once stood.

It was a horrible nightmare in your mind – trying to think like them. Trying to survive. And the shadows that followed you out of that arena as people congratulated you for being a victor? Well, they knew what the absence of humanity really brought.

Fear.

OR

Finnick Odair is your mentor for the 70th Hunger Games and you can't help but find comfort in the man who is in your life solely to make sure you don't die.

The 70th Hunger Games, ready to begin.

Your name, reaped.

All hope, lost.

Voices flickered in and out of your consciousness as you made your way up to the stage. Of course, this happens to you in your last year of eligibility, why wouldn’t it? Time sped and slowed as it pleased, having no regard for your ticking thoughts. Nor did it care for your unwillingness to let it pass.

This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening. Why is this happening?

You weren’t a Career. You had no special talents besides swimming and spearfishing. Swimming. How for fucks sake was that going to get you through the Games? News flash: it wouldn’t. Maybe spearfishing? But that was hardly a skill that could contend with previous victors. And it definitely wouldn’t help you against the Careers.

I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.

As you curled into the dark spot floating at the edge of your vision, you barely heard the name of the male tribute announced beside you. Isaac? Ethan? Ian? Why does it matter anyway? You weren’t going to make it out of here. This was it. The ocean was draining, and you were being sucked down with it.

You barely noticed the Peacekeepers usher you off the stage and saying goodbye to your family was now a flicker of a memory. Siblings would never see you again. You would never be able to make them laugh in your family home or try to eat your mother’s insufferable cooking again. You would never be able to brush off fishing duty to go swimming with Annie or visit the town tavern with her again.

Oh, Annie.

Best friends since birth, the two of you were practically inseparable. Many of your other friends and family joked that the two of you must have been a soul split because of how alike you were. You did everything together, but the shining break in this storm was the fact that she wasn’t standing where you were. That your siblings weren’t. If it had to be any of you, you were glad that it was yourself.

But, fuck – you wish it would have been anyone else’s name picked out of the grim bowl.

---

Stepping foot on that train was probably the hardest decision of your life. Not that it was much of a decision, really. If you wouldn’t have gotten on yourself, the Peacekeepers would have gladly thrown you on there themselves.

You couldn’t say that you were too impressed with the interior of it. Honestly, it just looks like the Capitol threw up all over it. Yes, your family home was nicer than most of those in the other Districts due to the wealth of the area, but you didn’t care about all of that. The people made a house a home, and this train was nothing more than a moving coffin.

As your Capitol lapdog, Jorge, showed you and your fellow tribute into the lounge car, a head of bronze hair caught your eye. His arms were spread wide on either side of him as he lounged on the travel sofa – seeming to be as content as a summer’s day. You could almost laugh at the absurdity of it. But, before that mocking gaggle could make its way out of your throat, the man before you turned.

Oh, shit.

Finnick Odair. You needed no introduction of his, everyone in District 4 was aware of him after his victory in the 64th Games. Youngest ever and all that, you had to respect him for making it through. What you couldn’t respect, however, was his enjoyment of his Capitol fame. He appeared on screen at least five times a month at some prestigious party, the arm candy to some Capitol prissy who you really couldn’t bother to care about. Why should you when they laugh and cheer for children to die for their amusement? It was absolutely disgusting. 

Flashing you with a stunning smile, he popped a sugar cube in his mouth as Jorge motioned for the two of you to sit across from him. His sea-green eyes followed your movements as you stiffly sat before him, like a prized pet for sale. Your shoulders were locked tight as you stared back at the man before you. Tanned skin from hours on the coast and beauty that even the old Gods would envy, you couldn’t discount his looks. But you knew those could be deceiving. And anyone who wins the Games knows how to be deceiving.

“Hey, you two,” he began as he looked between you and… Ian? Yeah, let’s go with that. “This isn’t a position I want to see anyone in, but I’m here to help make sure you make it through whatever hellscape of an arena they have planned for you and get you used to the culture of the Capitol.”

You could feel your hands shake as this terror became more real with every word he spoke. He’s my mentor. I have a mentor. I’m really a tribute.

I’m going to die.

Every ill thought you had of Finnick was immediately disposed of. He was a lifeline in this – he knew how to win. And if you had to be deceitful, manipulative, hell, even seductive through this, you’d take whatever advice he had and hold onto it with your life.

Quickly grasping your hands together to try and still them, you showed nothing but vulnerability as you slouched in your seat. You could feel another panic attack coming on, but you shoved it down to deal with later so you could talk with Finnick. You weren’t going to waste a single moment on this train that didn’t provide you with some sort of opportunity to gain skills that would help you make it out of the arena.

Finnick saw how your composure changed as soon as he started talking and his heart broke a bit from the horribleness of this. He meant it when he said that he didn’t want anyone else to be in this position, for the Games to be a reality, but he would be damned if he didn’t make sure that one of you wouldn’t come out a victor. So, the three of you got to work and talked through the whole ride to the Capitol.

---

Finnick was betting on your spearfishing skills to get you through.

“The other tributes will be spread between those who know how to hunt, how to hide, and how to survive. I need you to be all three.” He stated.

The two of you were working together before your training began in the Tribute Center, stealing your last little bit of train time to work on hand-to-hand skills. Ian was off resting since Finnick was already aware of his expertise with tridents. Apparently, the two had known each other prior to all of this. Finnick wasn’t worried about him. No, he was worried about you.

“I’ve never hunted another person before.” You reminded him. “Fish are different.”

He was showing you maneuvers that could be used for deflection at this point. Utilizing the strength of the staff would be crucial, but since the Capitol provided metal ones in the arena, there was no worry about it breaking. Being in the proper position to block vital spots was up to you, though.

“Fish are small targets,” he nailed his trident against your spear, the reverberation racing up your arms. You continued to hold on. “Humans are bigger. More places to aim for.”

“But they can fight back.” You remarked as you readjusted your hold on the spear. “They can kill me just as easily.”

“Then be faster. Be quiet and quick and they won’t know you’re there until the damage is already done.” He urged. Setting his trident against the wall, he stripped off his shirt from the exertion and reached for a bottle of water to rehydrate.

Your mouth watered at the view. He was, in the simplest of terms, gorgeous. Taunt muscles built from years of experience stretched across his expanse as sweat trickled between the valleys of them. His Adam’s apple bobbed in tandem with his swallows and you were entranced by the movement. You don’t know what he did in a past life to be graced with a body like that, but you had to appreciate it if even for this one moment.

Shaking your head to rid yourself of the distraction, you grabbed a drink of water as well, taking the time to think of your odds. They’ve been getting better with Finnick’s instruction, but it was your intelligence and timing that would get you to the victor’s circle. Confidence was starting to brew in your veins, and you didn’t want it to go away.

Setting the bottle down, you grabbed your spear once more and took a fighter’s stance with it. Finnick noticed and lifted a well-manicured brow at you.

“I’ve got the defense positions down,” you started. “Now show me how to win.”

---

You tried not to stand out amongst the other tributes as much as you could, in hopes that they would view you as nothing more than some meek and useless girl. Your plan was that if you kept your head down, they wouldn’t view you as a threat. While that could cause some to view you as an easy target, it would also keep the element of surprise tidily tucked in your back pocket.

However, you stuck close to Ian as Finnick urged the two of you to attempt an alliance – granting the ability for at least one person to keep an eye on your blind spots. You weren’t naïve, though. Alliances were unsteady, especially if it came down to saving your own skin over the others. And there was no proof that Ian would even keep his word about meeting in the arena, let alone keeping you alive long enough to hear the first sounds of cannon fire. If you were a betting man, you wouldn’t bet on him.

But he did bring in two more members to your shaky alliance, Della Remfar and Billy Churl from District 10. Not Career-material by a long shot, but they were both highly adept with an array of knife work. And, to your knowledge, both knew the cleanest and quickest ways to stab, slice, and gut something – which could definitely come in handy.

Even after surrounding yourself with the three, you weren’t entirely sold on the idea of putting any sort of trust in them. You didn’t speak of anything personal, nor did you even attempt to learn anything about them. It would be easier this way. There can only be one victor in the end, and the memories of the fallen tributes should be left to be carried on by their own friends and families, not by someone who was an instrument in their death.

And, selfishly, you just didn’t want the chance of actually liking any of them to arise. It would be hard enough to kill strangers – killing friends would probably destroy you.

---

The training scores were being announced as you sat between Finnick and Ian. Nervously, you kept bouncing your leg up and down on the plush seat as you waited for your name to pop up on the screen.

Your show to the Gamemakers may not have been anything extremely special, but you would be damned if your new prowess with a spear would go unnoticed. Finnick’s teachings were nothing short of a blessing, and every time you lifted that metal bar, you had the unrestrained thought of making him proud.

It was strange, to find comfort in a man whose sole purpose in your life was to keep you from dying. He would do all he could to keep sponsors coming your way and leave you with all the knowledge and tricks he gained from his own Games. And you would survive. If you wished hard enough that you would live through it, perhaps you could wish it into existence.

A fool’s thought, but it didn’t stop you from looking up to the night sky every night and doing just that. It wasn’t a prayer, not by a long shot. If there was a God out there, you’d hate them with every fiber of your being for allowing their “children” to do this to one another without fear of repercussion. You were already in a living hell – it couldn’t get much worse than this.

Silencing your mind, you peaked with interest as Ian’s name flashed across the screen along with his score. An 8. That was solid. Enough to show the sponsors he was someone worth rooting for and kept the Careers off his tail for being too much of a threat. But it’s not like you cared that much when your name and picture finally appeared.

From pure desperation and worry soaking your veins, you grabbed Finnick’s hand in an attempt to calm yourself. You couldn’t even look at him, not as your eyes were glued to the screen in front of you. But Finnick looked at you.

He saw how scared you were – not just from the placings, but from the whole event. He couldn’t be surprised – hardly anyone made it through the Games without being completely terrified. Even in his own Games, he was fearful. Petrified, more like. No one wants to die like an animal and, besides the vicious, no one wants to kill another human being like one either. So, tightening his own hand around yours, softly rubbing his thumb on the back, he waited with bated breath for your score.

9. Oh, fuck.

“That puts you right around the Careers,” Finnick whispered to you.

You nodded your head, eyes still staring straight at some unknown point in front of you. Your hand was still wrapped around Finnick’s, neither one of you wanting to let go from the worldly anchor. In truth, you were surprised you had placed that high, and by the slightly jealous façade that rested on Ian’s face, you could tell he wasn’t too happy about it either. But Finnick, he just seemed to watch your facial response to it, ready to help you through.

There was no overwhelming emotion of happiness or disappointment, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. And, after turning your face to drown into his oceanic eyes once more, you were.

---

This was it. The clock was counting down as you and the other tributes stood atop your respective platforms waiting for the blood bath to begin. For humanity to disappear and pure unrestrained carnage to take its place.

Your whole body was shaking. Anxiety and dread were filling you up and overflowing at the top. You wanted to be anywhere but here. You wanted to be dead already to get it over with. You wanted to be with Annie and your family playing on the beach.

You just didn’t want to be here.

So, for a split second, you let your consciousness cover your mind with a memory. Something warm and happy that could perhaps get you through the next minutes or hours or days. And you indulged in it.

“Oh, yeah. My parents took us swimming all the time. For ‘exercise’ and all that, but really, I know they just wanted to spend time as a family whenever we could.”

You and Finnick were lounging in the main sitting area within your deck of the Tribute Center. While he probably should have made his leave already, he wanted to check on you after your training, and, without admitting it, desired to spend time with you.

The two of you were currently sharing memories of your families and friends and life. You don’t quite remember how the conversation happened, but it was just too easy to get lost in the words with him. A bittersweet thought of how you would miss him materialized, but you quickly threw it to the wayside so you could luxuriate in the presence of Finnick Odair.

“My mom was always about making sure that between work on the docks, out on the waves, or just helping with the catches, we prioritized one another. Blood is thicker than water, she would always remind us.” You couldn’t help the bright smile painting your face as you thought about how kind and, sometimes scary, your mother was. She truly loved life and insisted on making sure everyone in your family could see the beauty in it as well, if not a little aggressively.

“She once threatened my younger brother, Kade, that she would take away his slice of chiffon cake if he didn’t go out and play with his friends for a bit.” You disclosed. “She ate it right in front of him when he refused.”

You both laughed at the story, going on to tell him more about your siblings and Annie, who was practically your sister at this point. With each passing story, you grew less enthusiastic. He saw the way you started to deflate from the stories, sadness taking its place due to your current predicament of perhaps never being able to see your loved ones again.

He didn’t want those memories to sour from this, he wanted you to keep them treasured – shrouded in a golden cloud of light and love. With a sense of duty, he moved over from his armchair to join you on the loveseat you were curled into.

Your doe eyes followed his movements, curious as to what he was doing. He sat beside you; stern vulnerability layered on his features. With shrugged eyebrows and a twinkle of some unknown emotion in his eyes, he placed his hand on the side of your face, tenderly holding you in position.

“Don’t let them take this from you.” He softly insisted, fingers warming you where they rested. “They want to break you, to dull you, but don’t let them win.”

You blinked. Once. Twice. Before your brain registered that you should reply to him.

“Wh- What?” You stuttered out in a hushed voice, much less of a conversation than you intended, but you were still confused by his words and actions. He continued to look at you, stealing glimpses into your soul through your widened eyes.

“Your memories, your love. The Games are built to destroy you of it all, leaving nothing more than a walking corpse empty of thought and emotion.” He asserted. “But don’t let them win. When you walk out a victor, hold onto what you love most and remember that the Capitol can’t take that. They can try to take your humanity, what makes you, you, but they won’t.”

You were stunned into silence, thoughts running rampant, but one began to overshadow them all.

He thinks I’ll win?

“I know we’ve only truly known each other for a short while, but I’d like to think I’ve become a great judge of character over the years.” He confessed with a small smile. “And when I look at you, I see a genuinely good person. Someone who shouldn’t have been forced into this, who should have lived their life out in peace and bliss but will win because they have something to fight for.”

You didn’t want to speak, to breathe, for fear of stopping his expression. But your eyes encouraged him, so he went on.

“You. Fight for yourself, Y/N L/N. Fight for the memories you hold in your heart. Fight for the love you have to give. Fight for whoever makes your head rush. Fight for the feelings.” He whispered out, only for you. “Just, please, fight. I know you can win. You have the skills, the intelligence, everything. So, fight for everything and nothing at all.”

Silent tears were streaming down your heated cheeks from his honesty. You knew Finnick to be manipulative and cunning when he needed to be, but there was nothing but a boy who wanted to be heard in front of you. What did he have to lie for anyway? You’d be going into that arena either way, friend or not.

Your own smaller hand covered Finnick’s as he continued to hold your cheek. Your lids gently shut as you pushed yourself into the warmth he was offering, staying close to him. He watched you hold the part of himself he presented to you, and decided he should gift just a little bit more.

Lifting his left hand to sit on the other side of your face, he pulled you close to rest his forehead against your own. With shut eyes, the two of you breathed in each other as the intimate moment closed over you.

Even in this short period of time, you’d never felt as close to a person as you did to Finnick. He knew the position you were in, for he had stood there before. He knew your emotions better than you did and encouraged them as a power, not a weakness. He was a light in this dark world, and you’d protect that flame with your life.

Pulling his head back but still staying close, he expressed one last thing. “My secrets, Y/N. I’ll give you all my secrets if you come back to me. If you fight for me. I’ll fight for you every day of my life and it still won’t be enough if you don’t come. Back. To. Me.”

He practically shook with the truth of his words. He wanted for nothing more than time. Time with you. Time to truly learn everything about you. Something in him yearned for you since the moment you had met. Your strength, your smile, your brilliance. He wanted to bathe and drown in it all at once. So, he needed you to win. To dirty yourself as he still is. Then, perhaps, you could both learn how to wear the past together. 

For a short moment, all you could do was look at him. To take him in as he was, no mask atop his face. To see what Finnick Odair looked like when there were no secrets to steal. And then you quickly tucked yourself into his torso as you wrapped your arms around him.

“I’ll fight for you, Finnick.” You declared into his chest. “I’ll fight for more moments like this.”

He hesitated for just a breath before he enveloped his arms around you, holding you tight and taking in your presence. He would make sure that you get anything you need in that arena. And that he’ll be there to pick up any pieces you left behind when you come back to him.

---

Della was dead. Ian was dead. Tributes from all the districts were dead.

The only ones still living were you and Billy, and the clock was ticking away.

Ian stuck true to his word and met you far from the Cornucopia as the two of you ran for your lives. The arena was a swamp – dirty and thick with a putrid smell that you would never forget. But the cypress and tupelo tree bunches gave what cover they could as you deftly made your way through the duckweed covering parts of the watery surface. Della and Billy attempted to steal a supply pack out of the slaughterhouse, but only Billy returned. Sticking close to one another, you made it through your first night.

Finnick also did as he promised and made sure the sponsors gave you anything you needed: spears, bread, ointment for Ian after he ran through a thorn-filled brush and ripped his leg open, even just extra blankets and water bottles – he made sure you were always supplied. His heart was in his mouth every time he saw you on screen, each day fitting you worse than the last. Exertion and fear were already taking their toll on you with mud-caked skin, chapped lips, and hair that was matting faster than a sunset. But none of that mattered as long as you made it to the end.

Ian was the next to go with a slit throat as your group battled head-to-head with the Careers. Two of the four were down before it happened, giving you all a false sense of hope. It was in that second of distraction that the girl from 2 sprinted around and tore Ian’s neck open before you could even blink.

Without even thinking, you launched your spear right into her chest as Billy finished off the District 1 boy. The two of you were unaware that each had defeated a tribute, but as your breathing slowed and you turned toward him, the realization hit you like a train.

I have to kill him.

It was a sickening thought, one you wish you’d never have to think about, but one that was entirely fueled by survival. You made a promise to Finnick that you would return. That you would come back. And even with aching limbs and short breaths, you would fight.

So, fight you did.

Billy started making his way to you as you reached the District 2 girl and yanked the spear from her concaved chest. There was no time for sympathy, no time for feelings. Billy wasn’t your friend. Sure, he may have saved you from the guy from 6 and always made sure that you got your share of food, but he wasn’t your friend. He couldn’t be your friend.

You locked down your thoughts as the two of you met in a patch of hip-deep swamp water. The muck below was forcing your feet to sink lower and gave you little grasp, but you lived in the sandy ocean. You knew how to maneuver well enough to use it to your advantage.

You were smaller than Billy as he towered over you at some number over six feet – a sturdy build for a butcher’s life. Which was a disadvantage for the environment. As you could navigate across the ground without fear of adhering to it, he was stuck, weighted down into the pit of swamp.

As he struggled to turn to follow your movements, his hands were briskly releasing knives your way. Try as you might, you couldn’t miss all of them. One lodged in your upper shoulder as another grazed your cheek, nipping off the tip of your left ear. But he wouldn’t have an infinite number of knives, and you could be patient enough for them to run dry.

And when they did, you advanced. Flittering over to him, you adjusted your stance just as Finnick taught you – bracing your arms apart so they could give and move as needed. You caught him in the side at first, until he grabbed onto the other end of the spear and pulled you toward him. He was stronger than you. If he got his hands on you, he could choke you out or drown you as hastily as he wanted, so you couldn’t let him touch you.

As he hauled you closer and closer to him, you steadied yourself. You’d only have one shot at this, and if you missed, it was all over. Taking a deep breath and focusing on the one moment you would have for this to work, you waited.

Not yet.

He was reaching the end of the spear.

Not yet.

He was loosening his grip on one hand to stretch out toward you.

Not yet.

You could feel the heat of his palm as he began to place it on your good shoulder.

Now.

In a flash, you jumped up and around him, securing yourself on his back and throwing him off balance so he couldn’t lay hold of you. Spear forgotten; you grasped his knife still stuck in your shoulder. With a cry, you yanked it out of yourself and stabbed it into his neck. And you stabbed again. And again. Tears were streaming down your face like a river flooded as you made sure he was well and truly dead.

As his heavy body dropped, you released your death grip but not before you fell into the water with him. You closed your tired eyes as you floated in the combination of blood and sludge. Nothing felt real. You were a victor, and you didn’t feel real. For a moment you could almost see your consciousness floating above you in a haze, like you were the one to die rather than Billy. But as soon as it was there it was gone. Instead, a transporter floated just where you had been, and now it was grabbing the winner of the 70th Hunger Games up into its claws once more.

---

Finnick was the first to greet you with nothing but concern on his face. As everyone else tossed cheers and ‘congratulations’ at you, he held onto you and walked you from the crowd. And he didn’t let go even when you sobbed into his shirt, staining it with tears and blood.

A doctor had to stitch your shoulder and cheek and wrap your bleeding ear, but with the Capitol’s technology, it took less than 2 days to heal. And Finnick never left your side for those days, talking about nonsense and the sponsors and the Games and how your family came to visit but you were unconscious from the medication and everything else he could think of that he couldn’t talk to you about before.

You told him about your heart-wrenching fear at every waking moment and nightmares you would have each night in the arena. Sleep was unwilling to take you, and you hardly wanted it to. Not when the arena croaked and screeched with animals and tributes on the prowl. Nothing but pure survival was in your veins, and that feeling was reluctant to leave you even now.

When you were dismissed from the hospital, he didn’t leave your side then, either. He talked to your family and Annie like they had known each other for a lifetime already. It made you happy watching them together. All the people you loved right in front of you, and you were still alive to witness it.

Even with the dark cloud looming over you, they were still the sun’s rays shining through. Small, but strong enough to keep you going.

---

Weeks after the Games and your victory tour concluded, you were nestled in a small reading nook in your home in Victors’ Village. The Games still haunted you, but you found solace in books. In romantic novels that didn’t have death sentences or tyrannical leaders – just two people who were in love and determined to display that in any way they could.

It was a way for you to escape reality, if even for a fleeting moment. Surrounding yourself with friends and family could only help for so long, and more often than not, being around so many people had you reliving the fight between your group and the Careers. The heaviness of the air and the cacophony of sounds had your stomach turning and chest tightening. Usually, Finnick would notice and quickly relieve you of the event by sheltering you outside.

It was a rather common occurrence, which is why you were happy to be in solitude. You told your family that you’d like to live in the house alone, if only for a couple of months, but they were more than welcome to visit you – which your mother did. A lot. She’d bring attempts at dinners and pies, but you were grateful for her and never discouraged her love. You couldn’t imagine the pain that she went through watching her daughter almost lose her life in the arena, so you entertained all of her antics. Almost every time she visited her eyes would drift to where your shoulder scar lay beneath your clothes, and she always kissed the mark on your cheek before she left as well. The reminders were plain to see.

But your solitude was never truly lonely.

“Hot chocolate?” Your eyes broke from the pages in front of you to look at Finnick, who was now offering the delectable drink to you.

You smiled at him and nodded, shifting your position to reach for the mug of cocoa. He sat beside you, offering more warmth than just that in your hands as he glanced at the book resting in your lap.

“Pride and Prejudice, again?” He smirked. “You have a library full and you’re reading this for, what, the fifth time this month?”

You hit his shoulder with your own as you giggled into your cup. Taking a sip and humming as the warm liquid traveled down your throat, you set your cup aside to face him.

“It’s a wonderful story, what can I say.” You confessed to him.

“And,” He reclined back in his seat as he regarded you. “Highly illegal. I still don’t know how you got your hands on that.” Shaking his head, he took his own drink of the hot chocolate and evaluated you with a raised brow.

“Perks of being a victor, as you should already be aware of.” Your smile vanished. “You get secrets, and I get tales to bury myself in.”

Any trace of playfulness withdrew from his manner. Soft eyes looked into your own as he set his cup aside, reciprocating the action to yours.

“Y/N,” he whispered softly.

Before he could say anymore, you snuggled into him, hurting for the man before you. “I’m sorry, Finnick. I didn’t mean to bring it up, I just– I just can’t understand why they would do that to you.”

Your watery eyes finally traveled back up to his, as he caressed your head with a tender touch. Finnick had finally told you what his days consisted of as a victor – of forced touches and unwanted attention; he was used in the Capitol for his looks and composure. You didn’t take it well, seconds away from marching to President Snow and killing him yourself for putting loving, sweet Finnick through that pain.

It wrecked you even more to know that he dealt with it all for the people he cared about. For his family. For his friends. For you. And that there wasn’t anything you could do to stop it without putting everyone else in danger. The worst that was done to you was parading you around like a show dog on a leash to different events. Perhaps if you weren’t scarred, they would have wanted the same for you, but for once, you could count yourself lucky that Billy hadn’t fully missed.

“Y/N,” he spoke once more as he lifted your chin to gaze down into your eyes. “Please, don’t suffer for me. You know I would do anything to protect you from them, and if this is the cost, then so be it.”

You shook your head as you wiped the tears from your eyes. “You don’t deserve this. You shouldn’t have to do anything else for them. Especially not that.”

You couldn’t even say the words out loud, it was so repulsive. It made sense now, why he was always with new and different Capitol citizens at those parties. Why he never looked truly there in the way he handled himself. And it made you want to shove your spear into anyone who would ever try and do that to him again.

“It’s okay, Y/N, really.” He gently smiled at you the way he reserved only for you – with all the love and radiance he could put into it. “I get to spend the rest of my time– the rest of my life with you. That’s all I could ever ask for.”

“Finnick,” you whispered, hardly knowing what to say to him.

He gingerly brushed the hair back from your forehead as he placed a kiss upon it, hushing you. “For you, my love, I would do anything.”

Your body trembled in his hands from the emotion tumbling around inside you. After the Games, it was hard to let yourself get close to him, for the honest fear of losing him. But he was patient. He waited for you and took his time working through the tremors of the Games that still resided within you. It was hard, it still is, to make it through a day without finding yourself back in that arena, but being around him made it easier – more manageable. He was the part of you that kept you afloat and you were hanging on with both hands to make sure he stayed.

You lost yourself in his eyes – green and blue twirling in an intimate dance, the most beautiful you had ever seen. Truly, there was no other place you would rather be than with him. Every ounce of comfort that you felt stemmed from Finnick, and he felt just the same. To part with one another now would be to rip a heart in two, never fitting the pieces to another.

I love him.

It was a scary thought and, really, shouldn’t have shocked you as much as it did. You knew for a long time already that you did but admitting it to yourself was the true challenge. Everyone knew it, hell, Annie would constantly ask you when the two of you would just marry already – she had never seen two people as made for the other until she saw you and Finnick. But you were slow to let that part of yourself go. He already had your heart, but now, you would finally allow yourself to have his.

Tenderly, you reached your hands to cup his face – the slight stubble growing on his cheeks tickling your palms. As not to scare him off, you so slowly pulled his head down to yours. Only an inch apart, your mouths breathed onto one another, painting your lips with his scent.

“Y/N,” he ground out in a whimper.

“Finnick,” you echoed back. “I love you.”

The sharp inhale was the only sign that he had heard your small voice. That, and the urgency at which he bridged the gap between your mouths. A whine escaped from the back of your throat at how soft he was – how his lips molded into your own as if fated to do so. You were already addicted to the feeling.

Finnick wasn’t faring much better. His whole head was fuzzy with love and reverence for you as he pulled you up to sit on his lap, bringing you as close to you as he could. Tenderness soon turned into something more as he began to map out the curves of your body with his hands. As you gasped from his touch, he took the chance to sneak his tongue into your mouth, charting that territory out as well.

Happily returning the favor, you too began exploring the body of the glorious man before you. Tongues twisting, hands moving, both your breaths became labored as the need for even more started hazing both your minds. Pulling away for just a moment, you took your chance.

“Y/N,” he practically growled out as you began to shift your hips over his growing hardness. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not comfortable yet.”

And you knew he meant it. While the two of you had never crossed that line before, you wanted to use more than just your words to show him how much you love him. You wanted to cherish him, to give him all of you.

“I want to.” You pleaded. Then, you quickly pulled away as a thought occurred to you. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about how you might feel about this. Fuck, Finnick, I–”

Before another word could leave your mouth, Finnick covered it with his own, pushing all the love he has to give into you. He coaxed you right back into the kiss, cradling your head close, softly rubbing the flat scar on your ear’s tip. Through a deep breath, he broke the tender instant to glance back at you. Your mind clouded until he spoke.

“Don’t ever think I don’t want you, Y/N,” he reassured. “There is nothing in this world that I want more than you. What happens in the Capitol doesn’t leave me broken, not when you’re still here. And, if you want me, you already have me – I just don’t want you to feel forced into it.”

As he explained his thoughts to you, his hands were delicately rubbing up and down your sides as to console any feelings revolving around your head. He loved you without needing something physical. You were more than enough for him without anything else than just your presence.

“I love you, Finnick Odair,” you confessed for the second time aloud. “And I want to be yours – mind, body, and soul. For as long as you should have me.”

As Finnick’s eyes grew watery from the words torn from your heart, he acknowledged just the same. “I will love you forever, Y/N L/N. And should I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my thoughts will be filled with you. Only you.”

And with the words spoken and sealed in a lover’s embrace, you sculpted your lips around each other once more. Finnick was slow to undress you, taking the time to truly admire the woman that you were. Removing your top, he trailed his lips from your neck to the scar on your shoulder and drifted further down to your breasts.

You held your breath as you watched him take your nipple into his mouth, suckling and teasing the bud with his tongue. Sighing, you tangled your hands into his hair, urging him to continue his actions. Doing just that, he reached one of his hands up to fondle your untouched breast, coaxing out more whines from you from the feeling.

Unaware, your hips continued to grind down on his lap, searching for some sort of friction for the growing heat in your core. While you had reached highs on your own hands and fingers before, you never touched a man like this – let alone felt the urge to have every part of him in you. And damn it, did you ever want to feel Finnick fucking Odair.

As he switched between ministrations on your nipples, he groaned into you every time you caught on his swelling cock. His head was filled with nothing but the thoughts of you and how he wanted to taste and touch you. How he wanted to tempt out every little noise you could make as you reached your peak over and over again. How he wanted to drown in you.  

Giving into his raging thoughts, he flipped the two of you around so your back lay comfortably on the cushions beneath you. Hot chocolate cooling and book thrown to some corner in the room, it was just you and him. Nothing else mattered.

Wandering down your body once more, he rid you of your pants and undergarments, leaving you bare in the sun. You were a goddess to him. A picture of perfection. He would never get tired of gazing upon you. Even when the two of you had grown old and grey, you would still be the most beautiful thing, sculpted by the poets themselves.

You watched as his eyes traced your body, and you began to grow self-conscious. Before you could even attempt to close yourself off from him, he grabbed onto your thighs and looked deep into your lust-blown eyes.

“Please, don’t hide from me.” He begged you. “You are the most exquisite being, never forget that. I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be able to even glimpse your beauty.”

Sentiments swelling your throat, you nodded up to him and relaxed into his touch. Seeing your newly eased state, he kneeled on the ground as he pulled your legs over his shoulders. Gazing upon your core, a growl emerged from the back of his throat. Your slick heat was practically begging to be filled by him, and who was he to deny such a pretty little thing?

He kissed up the innermost parts of your legs, inching closer and closer to where you needed him most. Before you could issue a complaint to stop teasing, he licked a warm stripe up your pussy, and you gasped. Head thrown back and hands immediately finding purchase in his hair, you were hooked.

He nuzzled his nose into your clit as he began to touch your core with his tongue, forcing out mewls and whines from your mouth. Reaching up his hands, one gripped onto your legs to prevent them from wrapping around his head, while the other spread your lips so he could dive even deeper into you. Flicking and cooing, his tongue continued to taste your slick as he moaned into you from your flavor.

You began rubbing your hips up and down his face as you continued to chase your high. He was too good at this – you’d never last long at this rate.

“Finnick, ahh,” you chanted his name like a choir of angels, and your voice went straight to his cock.

Wanting nothing but his name on your mind, he inserted a finger to begin loosening you up. The slight stretch already elicited a whine of pain from you. His digit was so much longer and thicker than your own, and you had a feeling his length was even more so.

As soon as he felt you relax around one, he slipped in a second. Scissoring around your cunt, he sucked on your clit to keep you slackened. You already felt so full. But as soon as all the discomfort turned to pleasure, you wanted more than just his fingers in you.

“Fuck,” you moaned out. “Finnick, I, shit, I want to feel you.”

He sighed into your pussy at your pleading state. Closing his eyes, he continued slipping his fingers in and out of you, getting you even further toward your orgasm.

“Not yet, love.” He insisted in a gravelly voice. “I want to taste you on my tongue first. You can do that, yeah baby? Want to cum in my mouth? I know you can do it. You’re such a good girl.”

You whined as you shut your eyes and continued stirring your hips on his face. He placed his lips back over your clit and thrust his fingers even faster into your heat. The sound of his knuckles squelching against your wetness was driving him insane, but he wanted to– no, needed to taste your essence before putting his cock into you.

As you felt your climax crawling nearer, your pussy clamped down around Finnick’s fingers, not wanting to let go. Your hips became erratic as you felt the familiar tightening in your lower abdomen – rising from your toes to the tip of your head. Finnick moved and slurped like a man starved, aching for you to lose yourself on him.

With a few more movements and a cry loosened from your lips, you released right into Finnick’s waiting mouth. He cleaned up every last drop, not wanting any to go to waste. You continued to ride out your high as he removed his lips from your bud. Once he felt you tire from your spend, he slipped his fingers out of you.

You watched with hungry eyes as he licked his fingers clean, eyes rolling back as his cock leaked from the wonder of your taste. Moaning as he popped them out of his salivating palate, he quickly moved to rid himself of his shirt. Reaching his arms back behind his neck and tearing the shirt from his torso up around his head, his eyes never left yours.

“I knew you would taste absolutely fucking divine.” He proclaimed to you as he started stripping his pants off. “I bet you feel just as good.”

Gasping, you finally laid eyes on his cock. Thick and girthy, you had no idea how it was supposed to fit in you. While it wasn’t ridiculously long, the stature of it made up more than enough. And as Finnick saw you fixed upon his hardened length, he twitched, which made you whimper up to him.

Bending back down to hover over you, he covered your mouth with his lips, allowing you to taste the salty remains of your own release. Moaning into his mouth, you gripped onto his bronze locks once more, lifting your hips to graze your now swollen clit against him.

He groaned and swiftly grabbed onto your hips to push you down. Backing from the kiss, he asked you one last time, “Are you sure?”

Breathless, you answered. “Yes. Please. I’ve never been surer about anything.”

Staring into your eyes and seeing nothing but certainty, he nodded.

“This is going to hurt, at first.” He stated. “Just try to stay relaxed and I promise you, you’ll start to feel good soon enough.”

Bobbing your head, you dug your nails into his shoulders to brace yourself as he glanced down and began to line himself up to your still-sweating heat. As he pressed the tip into you, you inhaled a sharp breath. Finnick immediately looked up to your face.

“It’s okay. Breathe, my love.” He took his hand and caressed your face. Settling a tender kiss on your lips, you started to breathe normally once again. Taking it as his cue to continue his insertion, he pressed back into you.

Slowly, so achingly slowly, he rocked his length into you. Taking the time to pull back and forth, he was easing you through the tight pain in your cunt. You were biting down on your bottom lip and your eyes were sealed shut from the sting of it.

“Fuck,” he breathed out. “You’re doing so good, baby. Just a little bit more and, shit, I’ll be all the way. God, you’re so tight, fuck.”

Finnick was trying his hardest to go slow for you, but the way that your cunt was compressed around him was like a drug. He wanted more, he wanted to move, but he would never place his own needs above your own. He watched your face for any sign of unordinary discomfort, but he saw none, so he inched further and further until he was fully sheathed into you.

Groaning, he dropped his head into your neck and panted out. As you adjusted to his size, the discomfort subsided. Sighing out as well, you started to lift your hips in your attempt at receiving friction. Finnick moaned and bit down into the softness of your neck.

“Move, Finnick, please.” You whimpered into his ear, already drunk on the feeling of his cock in you. You were so full, practically pushed to the brim, but you wanted more of him. You wanted him to make love to you.

Listening to your words, he dragged his cock through your walls as he moved in and out of you. Feeling your warmth rub against him was nothing short of amazing – there wasn’t anything that would ever compare to the feeling of you.

The two of you moaned in tandem as he thrust a particularly harsh plunge into you. You were scraping his back, leaving red angry lines as you wrapped your legs around his fit waist. Even in your inebriated state, you couldn’t help but admire him. For more than just his handsomeness, Finnick was the most gorgeous thing inside and out, and you couldn’t believe that he was yours. You would do anything for him to smile at you, to give you soft kisses to your temple, to just be.

So, you took hold of his head from where it was leaving marks on your neck, and you clashed your teeth together in a heated kiss. He was quick to reciprocate and grip onto your ass as he continued drilling himself into you, mouth never leaving yours.

You were the one to break the kiss as you leaned back to moan from the feeling.

“Fuck, Finnick. I love you so much.” You were rambling now, high off nothing but the way he was making you melt into his arms. “Please don’t leave me. I couldn’t, ah, live without you. Need you here. Always here. Mmm, my Finnick.”

He continued his movements as he gazed at you, love and lust battling for dominance in his sea-green eyes. “I’ll never let you go, Y/N. You are mine as I am yours. God. I was made to be by your side. Oh, Y/N. To always be with you. Would never leave you. My heart, fuck, is yours forever.”

The two of you were incoherent, rambling sentiments of love and sweet nothings to the other. Both of your climaxes were approaching, wanting to cum at the same time as the other. Skin on skin and sweat dripping upon each other, this was a plea of love, a confessional. Never to leave, always to stay – your hands were tied together as Finnick kissed you softly once more.

In contrast, his hips picked up the pace, as his fingers found your throbbing clit once more, pushing you to reach the top with him. His movements became inconsistent as he grew closer, knowing you were on your way as well by the way you were clenching down on him.

“Come on, baby,” he cooed at you. “Cum with me. You’re so close, love, I can feel it.”

“Yes, yes!” you whined at him. “Wanna cum, wanna cum with you. Ah, almost there, Finnick, don’t stop.”

Moving your hips with him, you both panted as the light grew brighter. He sped his twirling fingers up around your bud, begging you to peak with him. And as the two of you whined and whimpered louder and louder, Finnick thrust hard and deep into you. With this one last push, you both roared a moan as you came in and around the other.

Slowing his motions, Finnick allowed you to ride out your orgasm as he spilled his seed in you. Your legs twitched around his hips as you came down from your high. Head tilted back, you breathed hard and fast as your heart pounded. Finnick wrapped his arms around you as he held you close, still buried inside you.

For just a bit, the two of you stayed like that – together as one. Your pants eventually withdrew and were left with nothing more than the beating of the blood in your veins. He tenderly pulled out of you, leaving you empty of nothing but the soreness in your hips. Rubbing small circles on the aching joints, he kept his head close to yours. He then started kissing all over your face, making you giggle.

Chuckling along with you, he saved you from the attack by pulling away and looking at you with pure love and adoration. Mirroring his visage, you tenderly stroked his cheek as he sighed into your palm.

“I’m going to marry you, Y/N.” It wasn’t a question, but a fact he knew true in his heart.

Your eyes widened at his words, stilling your actions for a moment.

“Not tomorrow,” he laughed at your shocked expression. “Perhaps not a week or month from now, but one day I will. And that day will be the happiest of my life.”

Tears brimmed along your eye line, but it wasn’t sadness blurring your vision. Joy, excitement, and love were making their presence known in this strange way, and you didn’t know how else to respond to his worrisome look except to smile at him. Smile with your heart and soul to the man who was everything to you. And he smiled back the way Finnick Odair only smiles at you: uninhibited and overflowing with fondness.

Nestling into him as he repositioned you both on the seat, you contently sighed into him. This is what you fought for in that arena. This is why you promised that you’d win.

For vulnerable moments like this. For nothing between you and the man you love except the warm skin of your bodies. For the chance to live and not survive. For him.

With those thoughts in your mind, there was only one way you knew how to respond to him: with your truth, not a secret, and not in fear.

“Yes, I will marry you, Finnick Odair.”

[takamimami]

Perfectly Misaligned

Chapter 4 - The Point of No Return

Previous Chapter | Masterlist

Pairing: Eustass "Captain" Kidd x OC (Morrigan, The Phantom)

Chapter Tracklist:

Nobody’s Home - Avril Lavigne

Glitter in the Air - P!NK

Swimming Home - Evanescence

CW: minor depictions of violence, references to Morrigan's childhood trauma, minor character death, suggestive conversation about Mor's v-card, Kidd being Kidd --- word count: 3.6k

NSFW; Explicit Language/Themes - MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI

A cool breeze blew my hair forward and into my face, obscuring my vision for a moment as I stared up into the starlit sky. My eyes were puffy and swollen from the crying I’d done, still trying to process the flurry of emotions inside me as I felt the familiar burning of tears sting them again. 

I’d found my way up onto the roof of the cabin, needing time and space to myself after my interrogation from Kidd earlier. 

I’d expected him to refuse to let me come with them to the New World - Kidd didn’t like being told what to do, and, unfortunately for me, I seemed to rub him the wrong way just by breathing. But I’d expected Killer to be able to convince him like he usually did, and hearing the way he argued with Killer inside the room earlier—I wasn’t too sure he could be persuaded otherwise.

Definitely not tonight, which is why I secluded myself on the roof, a blanket wrapped around my shoulder and a candle between my legs—the flames dancing in the breeze as the candle threatened to go out altogether.

I closed my eyes as the breeze picked up again, and let my mind wander back to the place I’d called home just short of a year ago. 

~

A chill ran up my spine as I stood in the center of the crowded room, everyone’s eyes focused on my little sister, Celeste, as she opened presents for what would have been her 16th birthday.

Everyone was gathered in the entertainment hall of the palace, the place that once housed pictures of all four members of our family now missing one face amongst the frames. No one’s eyes faltered as I walked over to the banister where my sister’s portrait hung, my matching one missing and the pictures shifted around as if it had never been there at all.

All trace of me gone from the place I’d once called home, the ghost of me lingering as I watched my father and stepmother’s faces light up as my sister held up a ruby necklace she’d pulled from the gift bag. 

I dragged my feet as I walked to the center of the room again, blinking once as the room fell silent– all previous occupants vanished and the room lights dimmed. 

I twirled my head around to find myself alone in the hall, my eyes darting around the room until they landed on a frail body standing a few feet away from me, her face covered in shadows as she faced me.

My knees nearly buckle as I look my mother up and down, lip quivering as I struggle to find my voice to call out to her. I reach out my hand and open my mouth when a gunshot rings out through the empty room, my mother’s body slumping to the floor as blood begins to pool around her. 

My throat constricts as I try to scream, but no sound comes out. Tears blur my vision as I will my legs to carry me forward, but as I approach my mother’s body I’m halted with fear as my father stands over her lifeless body, eyes piercing into mine as he stares me down– my mouth growing dry as I feel a hand grab my shoulder.

“Hey…”

~

“Hey! Squeak! Snap out of it!”

I rubbed my eyes roughly with the backs of my hands as I felt Killer’s tight grip on my shoulders, blinking away tears as I came back to reality.

Tendrils of dark shadows swirled in the air around both of us, some of them swirling around his arms as they gripped my shoulders and caused me to pull away from him. I scooted along the roof as I created some distance between us, forcing my shadows to vanish as I tried to center my breathing.

“D-did that hurt?” I stuttered after a few moments of silence, my eyes trained on his forearms where I had seen the shadows dancing over his skin.

“I’ve been through worse,” he admits, rubbing a hand over his arm as he scoots closer to me. “Are you okay?”

Instead of answering I reached for the blanket still wrapped around my shoulders, turning my gaze down to the candle that must have tipped over at some point during my nightmare, luckily not set the entire roof on fire. I breathed a sigh of relief as I shifted toward it, picking at the dried wax that had spilled onto the roof tiles as flashes of my dreams crept back into my mind.

I let the silence answer for me as Killer kept his gaze in my direction, pulling my gaze from the flakes of dried wax and peering into the night sky. Stars scattered across the vast expanse of darkness, twinkling in the moonlight as if someone took a fist full of glitter and launched it into the air.

“You spoke of the angels and archangels earlier,” I started, desperate for something to distract me from the face of my mother plaguing my mind. “I thought all angels were supposed to be ‘good’... why would any of them have powers like mine?”

Killer shifts closer to me, eyes still locked on me as he speaks. 

“Archangels were the more powerful of their kind, and were usually responsible for maintaining the balance between good and evil - meaning they often mastered the powers of both.”

I nodded as I processed the information, finding myself impressed by Killer’s seemingly endless knowledge. 

I turn my head and meet his gaze, a small smile curling up on my lips as I shift closer to him. “Fucking nerd,” I say teasingly, giggling lightly as I look back up towards the stars. 

“Maybe there is hope for me, then.” 

I lift my hand and stare at it for a moment, feeling the power surging just below my skin. I let out a deep breath and let the darkness swirling inside me manifest itself in the air between Killer and me. 

We both watch the tendrils swirl and snake through the air and along the roof tiles, Killer not flinching as the shadows wrap around his forearm. I drop my hand and the shadows dissipate, but Killer flicks his head back to me as they disappear.

“Do it again.”

I eye him wearily, his request making the hair on my arms stand as I imagine the soldiers I’d incapacitated. But I lifted my hand again, the tendrils dancing over to him again, this time snaking further up his arm as I watched him cautiously.

My pulse roared in my veins as I watched Killer’s arm tense as if he were actively fighting against the darkness trying to consume him. I hear him let out a grunt as he imbues his arm with his Armament Haki, his shoulders relaxing slightly once he is able to successfully shield his skin from my shadows.

I drop my hand a moment later, breathing slightly labored from the exertion, my eyes still trained on Killer’s arm as he drops his defenses.

“What does it feel like?” I ask quietly, my curiosity getting the better of me.

Killer flexes his hand, then his elbow, and I watch the rippling muscles contract as he ponders how to respond.

“It felt like something was sucking up my strength, preventing me from fully exerting my Haki,” he starts, chuckling a bit as he rolls his shoulder. “I’d hate to see what you could do to someone with better control over those things.”

I grimaced at the comment, but before I could reply something pulled my attention to the trees in the distance. My head snaps in that direction, and Killer shifts as he sees my body tense from the disturbance.

“Wha-”

“Someone’s coming,” I cut him off, my eyes still locked on the trees. Killer seemed to sense the same presence a heartbeat later, but I had already turned and began climbing back up the roof and into the window I’d climbed out of previously. 

Once inside, I shuffled through the dark room in search of the light switch, feeling along the wall until I found it and flicked on the lights.

A groan startled me, the body sleeping in the bed shifting as the muscled frame sat up in the bed, tousled red hair covering his face as he rubbed at his eyes.

“The fuck are you doing?!”

Kidd’s voice echoes off the walls, a scowl immediately forming on my face as he looks over me.

“Someone is coming,” I said flatly as Killer climbed in through the window. Kidd’s brow furrowed as he looked between the two of us.

“It’s Hawkins,” Killer says calmly, and Kidd rolls his eyes as he pulls the blankets off himself and shuffles off the bed. My eyes trace over his toned body, watching his muscles ripple and flex as he tugs on his pants and lets them hang loosely on his hips. 

Kidd’s head flicks in my direction, a smirk flicking onto his lips as he catches where my stare is lingering. I feel heat prickling at my cheeks as I shift my gaze over to Killer, and Kidd mirrors my movements as Killer crosses the room and grabs for the door. 

I take a step to follow him through it and feel a tug at my arm, looking back to see Kidd’s hand wrapped around my wrist.

“Stay here,” he commands, pulling me back into the room as he pushes past me and out into the hallway. 

“No,” I bite back sharply, shoulders straightening as I resume my stride and follow him out into the hallway. 

He brings a hand to rub at his temples as he turns to face me, sticking an arm out to stop me from pushing past him.

“I said,” he glares, eyes dimming a shade, “ Stay here. ”

His touch is firm as I press against his arm, eyes staring up into him defiantly as I try to press past him. His arm tenses as I try to take another step, grunting as he pushes against me and causes my step to falter. 

“For someone who wants to join my crew, you sure don’t know how to listen to fucking orders,” he grumbles, turning to walk further down the hall. 

“I didn’t ask to join your crew,” I snap back, following a few strides behind him, “I asked you to take me to the New World, not to be my captain.”

Kidd stills at my words, his hand squeezing the railing of the stairs as he turns to glare at me from over his shoulder.

Killer glances in our direction from the bottom of the stairs, sensing the tension as his eyes move between the two of us.

I stop just out of arm's length from Kidd, not faltering as he turns to face me again. Eyes closed and brows bunched in frustration, he lets out a deep sigh before glancing my way, a glimmer of something in his eyes I couldn’t quite place.

“ Fine, ” he said exasperatedly, shoulders slumping slightly as he took a step closer to me. “I will consider taking you with us, Morrigan, if you just listen to me this one fucking time.”

I shuddered as my name fell from his lips, loosening my fists that I hadn’t realized were balled at my sides. His brows were still knit together as he watched my tension lessen, a weary gaze cast his way as I wondered why he was so insistent on my absence from this conversation.

“Fine,” I breathed, and both Kidd and Killer sighed in unison as a knock on the door drew the attention of all three of us. Kidd hurriedly glided down the stairs, casting me a warning glance as he reached the bottom. 

I turned and made my way back to the room, lingering in the doorway as the front door creaked open and unfamiliar voices mixed with those of Kidd and Killer’s briefly before the door shut.

Just as I was shifting on my feet I heard a door from down the hall swing open, and I peeked my head back out to see two tall figures sauntering down the hall toward me.

“I knew we heard your voice,” one of them crooned, and I couldn’t help the smile that curled onto my lips as Wire and Heat stepped out from the shadows of the hall, the latter’s arms outstretched toward me as I gladly let him pull me into an embrace.

The faint smell of ash tickles my nose as I smile into the warm hug, Wire staring at me blankly as I pull away from Heat and lean in his direction. He barely moves as I pull him into a side hug, and Heat leans over the railing of the staircase as he looks for whom I assume are Killer and Kidd. 

“We were trying to figure out who the Boss was arguing with,” he muses, cracking a smile as he nods in my direction, “Now it makes sense”.

“We were not arguing,” I said stubbornly, recalling the way Kidd’s eyes had softened when he made his bargain with me. It almost seemed like there was concern hidden behind them – his amber eyes flashing into my mind as I tried to understand the sudden shift in his emotion.

“Of course, you weren’t,” Wire cuts in, tone unamused as he pulls me from my recollection, “You and the Boss are always so agreeable ”.

The dry sarcasm in his voice didn’t go unnoticed by Heat or me, and I rolled my eyes as I switched my attention back to Heat.

“It’s good to see you guys,” I smile warmly, the tall man before me grinning as he extends a hand out to rest on my shoulder.

“It’s good to see you too, Mor,” he sighs, “Though, I have to admit, I didn’t think our paths would ever cross again.”

I grimaced at the notion, Heat’s hand dropping from my shoulder as he offered me a sympathetic look.

“It’s…. A long story,” I groan, running my fingers through my hair as I puff out a deep sigh. 

I turned my head and gazed down the stairs, not ready to hash out the details with them quite yet. They both take the hint and shuffle past me, descending the staircase without another word.

Before they can reach the bottom the sound of the front door swinging open halts them, and the sudden slam of the door has me gripping the railing as Kidd stomps back into the cabin, a scowl etched on his face as he turns the corner to find Heat and Wire looking at him from the steps.

“What’s up, Boss?” Wire asks, though his face is emotionless as he looks over his captain.

Kidd grunts, disappearing into the kitchen without another glance in any of our directions. Killer sighs a deep breath before walking after Kidd, motioning for Wire and Heat to follow.

My curiosity had me halfway down the stairs before the kitchen door closed, and without considering Kidd’s previous hesitations I pulled open the handle to find Kidd throwing back a bottle of booze.

Killer snaps his neck over to me while Heat and Wire keep their eyes on Kidd, and something about Killer’s body language has me lingering in the doorway.

Sure enough, Kidd’s gaze lands on me as he brings the bottle from his lips, and his brows furrow, looking me up and down and setting the bottle on the table before stepping toward me.

“What did Hawkins want?” Heat asks insistently, but Kidd continues approaching me, only stopping once he is towering over me. His arm extended out and held the door I still propped open with my foot, and his eyes flick through the doorway before falling back down to me.

“I got business to discuss with my crew,” he grumbles, leaning closer to me as if to usher me out of the kitchen.

“What the hell is so important that you can’t tell them with me present?” I press, holding my ground and not backing away from my position in the doorway.

Kidd’s eye twitches – a movement that I almost miss – and he braces his arm on the door harder before leaning down closer to me, the smell of whiskey coating his breath as his breath tickles my face.

“I don’t discuss anything pertaining to my crew with outsiders ,” he nearly growls, as if the term were supposed to be an insult. “Last time I checked, you didn’t want any part of my crew, so how about you run along and get some sleep, Princess.”

The command in his tone nearly made my knees wobble, and I kissed my teeth before turning around, no longer interested in playing this game with him.

I make my way back up to the room, stomping my feet up the stairs dramatically before slamming the door hard enough for everyone in the cabin to hear. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as I sank into the mattress, trying to tune out Kidd’s voice that now rang through my head.

“ So how about you run along and get some sleep, Princess.”

“Princess.”

The condescension in his tone alone as he spat that nickname at me was enough to set my blood on fire. 

Forcing my eyes shut, I try to shove the insufferable redhead to the back of my mind, but it only serves the opposite purpose as my mind races.

~

Kidd’s arms rested on the railing on either side of me, his neck craned to look down at me as I felt my chest tighten from his proximity.

“C’mon, Princess ,” he crooned, the gods forsake nickname dripping with honey as he brought his lips closer to mine, “We both know that kiss wasn’t the accident you claimed it to be.”

He and I had been drunk the night prior, the rest of the crew already retired to their respective quarters as he listened to me prattle on and on about stars and constellations. When I was done he’d walked across the deck with me toward one of the spare rooms beneath the helm, and in a drunken haze, I’d decided it would be a good idea to kiss the moron after he’d offered me one too many flirtatious compliments.

“Kidd,” I groaned, pushing a hand against his chest half-heartedly, “I was drunk and so were you, let's not make this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

He snickers at my claim, allowing me to push him away as he backs up a few steps. He eyes me up and down before tucking a hand in his pocket, the other hand reaching up to rub at his chin.

“You a virgin, Princess?”

My cheeks heated at the question, my silence damning me as my lips tremble.

Kidd nods his head, smirking as he tucks his other hand into his pocket and takes a step closer to me. I feel my shoulders sag under his gaze, my back pressing against the railing as he resumes his previous position.

“I’d be gentle with you,” he rasped, voice thick as he dropped his head to my ear. “To start with, at least.”

“Are you still drunk?” I manage to whisper, feeling his arm snake around my waist and pulling my body closer to his.

He must have heard my breath catch in my throat because I can hear his smirk in his next words.

“It wasn’t the alcohol talking for me, Princess. I’ve thought about getting you in my bed since the first time you called me a ‘filthy pirate’.”

‘I’m no one’s plaything, you filthy pirate.’ The first words I’d ever spoken to him.

He had to still be drunk, it was the only explanation for why he was telling me all this. 

I felt my self-consciousness drawing up my defenses as I raised a shaky hand to his chest, pushing harder than I had the first time as I tried desperately to make space between us.

“Enough, Kidd,” I snarl, taking a step back before bearing my teeth to him, “I said it was a mistake .”

That wasn’t the word I’d originally used. ‘Accident’ – that was the word I’d meant, but I lashed out and noted the slight shift in Kidd’s expression, indicating I’d hit my mark.

~

My eyes open and struggle to adjust to the darkness in the room as the sound of voices outside my room pulls me from my sleep. Careful not to make a sound, I slip from the bed and make my way over to the door, leaning my head against it to hear the voices on the other end.

“Just let her sleep, Kidd.”

Killer. 

“Here you go telling me what to do again.” Kidd. “I just want to ask her why she wants to come with us so bad. We’re not a fucking escort service, Kill.”

“That can wait for the morning when you’re sober .”

A disgruntled noise comes from the other end of the door and I hear the doorhandle jiggle. I hold in my sigh of relief at the fact I had remembered to lock it, my pupils dilating as they watch the metal object shake.

Giving up after a few failed shakes, I hear Kidd and Killer’s footsteps disappear down the hall, and I silently creep back into the bed at the sound of a door closing.

I toss and turn for a bit as I contemplate what exactly I’m going to tell Kidd when he questions me come the morning, coming to the conclusion that I didn’t even know myself why I wanted to go with them.

Something just told me I needed to stay with them.

Next Chapter

if you liked this, I would love it if you liked and reblogged to spread the love <3 ✨come say hai :3✨

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Hellfire Mom + CC + ⛳

(🤣)

lol i missed getting to do things with hellfire mom 🥰 i was hoping to have a fic out for them a few weeks ago but after i write it, it just didn’t seem like my boys :p

i might have another one posted up soon though 😘

and i’m sorry these are taking so long for me to post 😂 because i got so many of them i have to make sure i have another one at least halfway done before i post one

After an insanely long week, it was finally Saturday

Normally, you and the guys would figure out something to do, wether it was actually going out and doing something or staying in at someone’s place

But this weekend was finally your weekend to pick what you did and you were so excited

You had decided to go out mini golfing, and though it wasn’t normally something that you did with the boys they seemed just as excited as you were when you suggested it

Maybe cause they’ve never gotten the chance to do it when they were younger so it was finally their chance to give it a try

Or maybe because it gave them a new place for them to act like idiots at

Either way you were looking forward to it

The boys promised to be on their best behavior while you were out but you knew that wouldn’t be the case

Still, you were happy you were all able to to something together

Once you arrived you made sure that everyone had all their things

A few extra hair ties for Eddie since you knew he was bound to break or lose a few

Little baggies of snacks for Gareth (his mother suggested you bring them along since she knew he would ask for snacks)

Sunblock for Grant (he never tans, only burns)

And lastly, you grabbed an extra disposable camera for Jeff to take pictures with

He was the only one out of all of them that would remember to take pictures of all your outings

As soon as you got in the boys were quick to get their putters and each pick their colored golf balls

(And it was quite funny to watch the four of them fight over the black one and immediately after watching Eddie, Gareth, and Jeff fight over the red one)

Once you had them all picked out (black for Grant, Red for Gareth, Blue for Jeff, Green for Eddie, and lastly just a plain white one for you) you were given your little paper sheets and pencils and headed off to the course

The course you found was huge! At least 25 holes instead of the normal 18, giving you all enough time to get them all done

As soon as you got to the first hole you almost immediately had to tell the boys not to hit each other with their putters

Throughout the day, they were actually more well behaved than you expected them to be

They made sure not to use their putters like swords and fight each other, they didn’t try to cheat by moving their golf balls, and whenever they were around little ones they put their filters on

Which surprised you more than anything, given how they usually act when they’re all together outside of school

As you were approaching the last hole, they kept insisting that you had to be the very last to go, and you reluctantly agreed

But as you watched them hit their golf balls they were doing much worse than they did on the previous ones

You checked the score card and saw that even though Jeff was winning (he had managed to get a few holes in one thanks to always going to the course with his dad) they all had a par of at least 10 on just this one

And you rolled your eyes as soon as you caught onto what they were doing

But they all happily waited for you at the end of the hole, watching with big smiles on their faces as you hit your ball and got it in, in under 3 goes

They cheered for you just like little kids and they were so happy that you were the one to win mini golf

(You knew they messed themselves up at the end just for you but it was still a sweet gesture)

[thewritersaddictions]

House Dimitrescu: Bela Dimitrescu- Green Eyes

Pairing: Karl Heisenberg X Lady Bela Dimitrescu

Pov: Lady Bela Dimitrescu

Warnings: fluff, smut, falling in love with the wrong person, disapproval, falling in love, kissing. Making out, a little bit of fighting, Bela being disgusted with men, Karl being a dick, lady dimitrescu's disapproval, enemies to lovers, Mother Miranda Mentioned, BJ's, P in V. Sex.

Summary: She doesn't mean to fall in love with the worst of the worst. He's just so damn attractive and dark. Mother Miranda loves the idea of them together.

A/n- @ firefly-graphics for dividers. '

WC- 4.3k

Resi 8 Master List // House Dimitrescu Master List

Grey Eyes

My mother had always taught me that men were only here for my enjoyment. For my torture, to watch the life drain out of their eyes. But what if those eyes are covered with dark sunglasses and are tempting me in the worst way? 

I wondered why he was even here at the castle. Mother never liked the grim and dirt that Heisenberg brought along with him, but the loud voices of Mother Miranda bounced around the castle walls. 

I didn’t give shit now. At least that was how I was acting, he had cornered me in a section, a rather recluse area of the castle. His hands barred me into the wall. My mind went haywire, everything was on high alert, but regardless of the feeling in the pit of my stomach I still let him kiss me. 

Let him bring his lips towards a rapid pulse point in my neck. He was no longer caging me in with his hand that was, now it was his whole body pushing me further into the wall behind me. He was so big, sure I had seen him at dinners. I had seen him just a few moments ago when he was pissing Mother off with his insistent chewing, and loud laughter. All while he kept his eyes on me. It sent a raging fire through me. I tried my hardest to not look at him, mothers orders. 

“Men are disgusting creatures, and only want you for one thing.” 

“My daughters aren’t good enough for any man out there.” 

“Don’t you let any man touch you? You’re my precious babies.” 

Mother would mutter into our ears when we were younger. She was hellbent on us knowing that, it was all we thought about, so anytime a random man would come to the castle doors. Enter without permission we had a rather fun time with him. Beat him till he was purple, and bleeding all over the place. 

But there was something different about Heisenberg. He was stronger, bigger, and taller then any other man I had ever seen. My attention drew to him throughout the night, and now here I was trapped between his chest and the wall. With his mouth licking, and sucking at my skin. He was ravaging me and without a second thought, I pushed his hat off. Running my fingers through grey hair that felt so heavenly smooth. 

I was fighting the urge to not fall deeper into Heisenberg’s touch. As his tongue left long trails of salvia down my neck to the top of my dress. I could hear my heartbeat, and I’m pretty sure Heisenberg was able to feel it up against his tongue. His arms moved fast, and all of a sudden the weight on my feet was gone, and the weight of him picking me up and slamming me rather hard into the wall I felt explode into my backbone. I moaned out in a mixture of pain and excitement.

Sharp and Green eyes that widden with excitement as I can’t control my own mouth. His voice is thick with almost a german accent. “Oh doll aren’t you a vocal one.” He’s teasing me like we’ve been together for such a long time. As if Lord Heisenberg, as been taking me to the darkest part of the castle and fucking me like I was his and his alone. 

This all felt to real, to deja vu for this to be happening. I wondered why he had followed me so close, his boots practically hitting the back of my heels. Why had I dragged him towards the most recluse section of the castle. I did it rather unintentionally. I wanted him to follow behind me right? Maybe to go against my Mother as her rather controlling nature was getting worse and harder to deal with on the daily basic. 

The only other male person I’d ever met was The Duke. He was always in the castle selling rather interesting things to Mother. Only having met him once it was a complete and drastically different expression when I first saw Lord Heisenberg. 

He had more muscles, thinner in every single way. He was darker almost has dark as the night sky during the summer nights. He was something that I had been told to not look at, touch, or even speak to. He was out of bounds in ever aspect, and that made the feeling of having him chasing after me even better. 

Everything in my body was tingling. Everything felt it was on fire, like was going to burn to death just from his hands on my skin. His hands moved and pushed my legs to go around his hips. The groan that fell from his lips was hard to ignore, especially when I could feel the vibrations of his groan through my body. “Such a wet little pussy you’ve got. Can you feel it?” His voice dripped with cockiness as he thrusted into me pushing me further into the wall. 

I was a mumbling mess. “I… You… we can’t” He teased winking at me even though he was so close, and thursted again. His rough jean material pressing further into few layers of clothes that was covering my pussy. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I felt the edge of stress fly away.  “Oh are you enjoying yourself? Are you enjoying the way my cock is teasign at your entrance.” He was coaxing me. Trying desperately to get me to say the words. 

Stubborn as always I wouldn’t dare give him the damn staifcation of knowing or even thinking that he was giving me any sort of high. “GET YOUR FLITHY HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER THIS INSTENT!!”  My mother is shouting from behind Lord Heisenberg back. My eyes are closed but I can’t see her, maybe she’ll think that this was all Heisenberg fault. 

I can hear him scoff into my skin. My mother is starting to tip over, getting to her boiling point much to soon. I open my eyes not yet daring to look at my mother. Much to aware of the setting that’s she found me in. He looks up at me, there’s a deep look in his eyes. 

He bites down on his tongue and winks at me. Dropping down to the floor with the most softness I’ve ever been touch with in my life. My mother isn’t the sweetest, nor nicest person on the planet. She’s harsh, loud and at her core she’s manipulative. She makes you feel like shit and then gives you the whole world right out of her hand. 

“I can’t believe I told Bela. I told you never talk to this man, or even go near him. Just as always the one that acts like a damn fool. Cusres the Dimitrescu house name.” She grabs my wrist hard and tight, and drags me far away from Lord Heisenberg. She turns, and I look over my shoulder. “As for you Lord heisenberg, you are to never come back to my castle. I will tell Mother Miranda what you’ve done. Do you understand? You absolute traitor.” 

He’s picking up his hat dusting it off, and over the brim of his glasses he looks at me. For the first time, or maybe the first clear time I’ve really seen him eyes. Green, deep and enticing in every single possible way. 

I don’t hear the end of it until the night ends, and I’m laying in my bed. For the rest of the night my mother, held me close by her side. She never manages to shut up, all she does is talk. Talks about how horrible men are, how great she is, how much we should love and take care of her. 

A ramble off of questions she asks go through my head as I lay down on my bed. 

“Did he hurt you?” 

“How did you two end up alone?” 

“Did you… Did you enjoy his touch?” 

Her last question is revolving in the back of my head. Did I enjoy his touch well maybe. I don’t know. He’s not romantic like any of the books in te library are. His hands are rough, but his lips are soft, and the way he say things causes my knees to go weak. 

FUCK 

I miss him already, I shouldn’t miss him. I shouldn’t even want to see him again. I shouldn’t have wanted to let him chase me. I let him chase me around this damn castle. I should… I don’t know what I should do, but the summer air the drifts through my open balcony makes me walk over. Mother always talk about the useless factory that Lord Heisenberg runs. I can seem the smoke stacks that are wafting into the nights sky. The grey puffs of air, it’s all but causes a strong of shocks to run down my spine. My skin prickles at that the thought of running, jumping off the balcony. 

Mother Miranda did hear all about Lord Heisenbergs adventure with me. She called my mother, Lord Heisenberg, and I to the church that mother was at nearly every week. “Alright, I have heard you Alcina. I do think that in efforts to be the best he possibly can, along with your sweetheart of a daughter. They might have come up with the most brillitantly wonderful idea.” Mother Miranda speaks. My mother has never been able to shadow her facial expression. Never able to keep her pocker face, she’s like a person who wears their heart on their sleeve. Expect her heart is a knife, and maybe a few other dangerous items. I can’t manage to make out Lord Heisenberg’s face, with been seated next to my mother the furthest away from Heisenberg. 

“What;s are you talking about… Mother miranda you must know that Lord heisenberg isn’t actually trying to shit right?” My mother speaks with sincreity. Her voice is level as it’s going to get for being so close to Lord Heisenberg. I can hear him over ther scoffing under his breathe, making fun of my mother’s show of frustration and aggervation. 

“Now if you’re done. I have a new plan for finding myself a new daughter. I think that your daughter. Bela, and Lord Heisenberg should have this grand of a new relationship. I think this might work out very well for all of us.” With that Mother Miranda was gone, into a hundreds of black birds. 

My mother was more then enraged by how simply Mother Miranda had tried absolutely nothing to stop him. Heisenberg I think was more then excited to come back to the scene we had been forced to leave so soon. 

Heisenberg was so casual about everything like my mother wasn’t going fully ballistic on the other side of the room. He got up with ease, and made his way over to my mother, and I. His even cocky in the way he stands infront of my mother and I. I can’t help but strip him mentally of all of his clothes. There’s an urge to leap into his arms and get back to the kissing, and soft feelings of his lips on my skin. My hands combing through his hair. 

He drops the edges of his glasses. Eyeing me, and winking before looking over at my mother. “So Alcina are you in the helping mood for Mother Miranda?” He questions her. I let my mind wanderer for a moment, a helping hand for Mother Miranda. Mother scoffs, and her faceds changes for a second before looking more regal in her white dress. Her shoulders are taller, wider. “Anything for Mother Miranda isn’t that right Heisenberg.” She says simply. 

It’s starts off simply. Mother Miranda encourages, comes over to the castle and practically grabs me from my mother hands but not before draping me the nicest thing around. She pulls me from my mother grasps. Taking me away and towards the factory. The air is somewhat different when we cross the bridge, but the smile that is beaming from Mother Miranda face is contagious. 

My body is pumpingwith excitement as i realize one of two things. First off my mother is the furthest she’s ever been from me. She can’t control my every move, or tell me what to or not say. Two, Mother Miranda is leaving the two of us once I’m settled. “The two of you will work fast at this right?” She asks me. I humm not ever looking at her. “That’s good, just what I want to hear. You do prefect for my project. Now listen carefully child. I’m leaving you here with Lord Heisenberg. I’m having your mother gather your things and you’ll stay here with him. No need to give you and chance to abbadon this wonderful idea of yours right?” Her smile is creepy as shit, sending me wanting to go back the other direction. She’s right, she does exactly as she says. She brings me straight to his large garage door. 

He meets us there. His eyes are dark, and his hat sits a little lopsided on his head, but he’s the definition of sexy. “Ah, Lorg Heisenberg. You and Bela are going to make a lovely fa… a lovely couple.” With that she yet again poofs into a few hundred black birds. It leaves Heisenberg and I staring at each other. 

I go to say something, anything that will drop from my lips. Nothing falls, not even has he get’s closer. Not even has his hands touches my skin. His hands are cool, against the hotness of my skin. The sun roasting me through the layers of clothes. He drags me into the garage. His drag isn’t hard, or mean it’s just soft. “It’s not great, but’s home buttercup.” He said thickly. My heart stops if only for a second. The nickname is cute, scratch into the back of my head. I want him to call me ‘buttercup’ more. “Also, the names Karl. None of that Lord bullshit or heisenberg bullshit” His voice is husky, is go stragiht to my core. The wetness that causes my spine to tingle. 

“Bela I assume is still okay?” Karl asks. I hum, his hand is no longer around my wrist rather holding my hand. His hands are rough, but not hard. Calluased by the work that I can only assume he does in the large factory. I look down at the part where the two of us are connect, and his eye follow along. He coughs, and lets go. I try to not look displeased, but follow behind him as he’s already on the move. 

“I’m going to show you around the factory Mind you this isn’t your prefect little cushy castle you’ve got up there. This place is dangerous and you can get lots and hurt very easily I don’t need either women I hate tearing down my walls looking for you. Do you understand?” So much authority comes from his words, but’s different. 

He different now. 

He different even from the night he chased after me in the castle 

He just simply different, now that’s it just the two of us… atleast I think he is. 

“Do you understand?”

“I understand lor… Karl.” 

The tour goes by quickly and the further we go down the darker, the creppier, and scariest it get’s. I can’t help but keep close, and keep grabbing onto Karl’s biceps, or his hand when he walks to fast for me to keep up with his long legs. 

It isn’t until we make it up the upper levels that I feel safer. “Why do you always wear your glasses?” I ask almost involuntarily. He turns and looks at me. I can’t see his eyes. “Why Bela?” I ramble to get an answer out of my mouth, “I… You… I just think you’d… You’re eyes are very pretty is all. They’re all I think about, ever since that night in the castle. How you looked at me in the church.”  “You like the way I look at you” Karls words make me float again, my minds goes somewhere else, I don’t notice hoe close he’s managed to get to me. 

“Look at you a trembling, wordless mess Buttercup.” 

I hum, it’s the only thing I have. He’s in reaching distance, so I close the distance between the two of us. Out chest pressed up against each other. I can feel his heart beat. Loud and fast. “I asked you a question Karl.” He pulls the glasses down and then off compleety before throwing them off into the distance. 

“And I asked you one, now are you going to answer.” He looking down at me with such force behind his green eyes The firs time, I’ve seen them so upclose, so clear for me to see ever notch in the iris. How the green dips and get’s darker the longer he keeps his attention on me. 

“I’m sure you’ll figure out soon enough. I want to get back to what was rudely intreuptted by your mother.” Forcely he picks me up. “What do you think Bela, huh?” His question is more rhetorical as he walks us somewhere. His hands are resting on my ass, my legs having wrapped themselves around his hips almost on instinct. As he walks us I can feel the growing erection that’s begging to get out of the bounds of his trousers. My arms are wrapps around his neck, so I take advantage. 

I rip his torn, dirty hat from his head. Keeping it in my hand. One of my hands goes to run a few fingers through his hair. It causes a bit of fault in karls steps. A moan. A quiet moan slips from his lips, but he contiues on. Before I know it I’m dropped onto a rather uncomfortable mattress, but it’s large. Large enough for Karl to have me and him sprawled together. 

He looks down at me. 

“You’re such a brat you know that?” 

I don’t say anything back, but shake my head. Before I know it Karl’s unzipping his trousers, and letting them fall short of his knees. His boxers are filled out, the tent looks huge under my gaze. I wonder 

I hope, and wonder if it will even fit. I’m not dumb to how sex works. My mother just didn’t explain the all of the rules. Or how most of the things work. “Oh don’t worry buttercup I’ll make it fit.” So damn cocky. When he pulls himself out of his boxers the gasps that leaves my lips is faster then I can control, and the smirk I see on Karls face is only a further push into his ego. 

“You know how to suck cock right?” His questions is blod and straightforward is the hottest way possible. I mumble a quite ‘no’. He rolls his eyes, and almost throws his boxers up. “Wait don’t… show me Karl.” I mutter out softly almost like I can’t talk at all. “Fuck buttercup… alright I’ll show you.” He get’s close as possible. “Don’t close your eyes at all I want you looking at me during the entire thing okay?” I shake me head, and he coniutes.” Open” I do as he says. My mouth opens not wide enough for him, so his calluased fingers invade my mouth. My jaw aches as Karl’s fingers leave my mouth and try to follow them. 

His cock is the next thing that enters my space. I lick my lips with antipiation. “Okay relax your mouth, and take me slow buttercup.” his accent thick with heat as he looks down at me. Once, finally once his cock nudges into my mouth I can’t help the urge that overcomes me to take him fully. His cock hit the back of my throat and I look up at him through my lashes. He groans out, and bucks into my face. “Fuck, I told you slow buttercup. But whatever you want I see.” Some how his voice is deeper thicker as words drips from his curse ridden mouth. 

As he bucks into my face I can feel ever ridge and bump his cock as to give. His pubic hair is ticklish under my nose, but the breathing isn’t my issues. It’s wanting to feel every curve of his cock in my mouth, on my hand. In my pussy. 

I want to feel him in every possible way. 

The cursing that drop from karl don’t stop and when his rough calluased hands reaches down to my hair I roll my eyes back and maon with excitement. His hold on my hair is hard and his finger tangle into my hair. His moans and grunts become raggaed and faster, somehow shorter all together. “Fuck Buttercup.” He’s still fucking my face, but as he pulls out his cock from my mouth I can’t help but suck on the head. 

Karl doesn’t warn me as he spunk shoots out and down the back of my throat. I’m finally able to breathe normally, but as Karl continues to fuck my mouth. Cum contiunes to trickled down, and my eyes rolls back at the euphoric feeling that crosses my hot and mess body. The ruge to strip out of my clothes over takes me. 

“Fuck, karl can I get out of my dresses. I hot as shit, and I need…” he stares me with such admiration. “Fuck yeah. Sorry. Give me a second.” he pleas with me. He barely strips ouit of his other clothes. All while he keeps his eyes on me. He stares at me, and my mouth. When he comes over his thumbs runs over my lips, then dip into my mouth. 

“Such a good girl.” He mutters softly, before he’s ripping my dress. Ripping into the clothing and throwing them across the room. My breasts don’t have to react to the coldness of the factory. His mouth, Karls mouth is sucking and tugging at my sesitive nipples. His other hand is pulling my closer.

Skin to Skin 

He makes my mouth water. As he moans and flicks a harder nipple with his tongue. He stands much taller then I. His neck is craning to reach and play with my breasts. “Fuck buttercup. Such a good lookin’ pair of tits you’ve got. So tiny and squeezeable.” His hands are rough, but that’s okay I like the comparison. 

He moves us gentle and as my knees hit the back of the bed. It’s causes me to fall backwards. Karl is ontop of me within a second. His cock is already hard again and pressed up agasint my thigh. My pussy is dripping, and has been dripping since I walked across the the stone bridge. 

Fingers dancing on the edge of passion. 

He brings his lips close to mine. Breathe mixing together. 

“Karl” It’s like I’m begging, but I’m not sure for what. 

“Such a pretty girl. Such a pretty girl that’s all mine.” Karl shifts his weight, now he’s somehow caging me back onto the mattress. He slips his hands down my sides, and gives me shivers as his fingers, and hand rest nicely on the dip of my hips. It’s only when I feel his rough padded fingers playing with my pussy. Soft and gentle touches like I’ll break if he isn’t careful. 

I look down between my open legs. Karl’s stance is laughable, at best. His hair is a mess, sticking to parts of his forehead, but tongue stick out of his mouth as he looks down at my body. He’s looking down at my soaking pussy as he plays more. More and more until he satisfied with his ‘work’. 

Finally the tip of his head nudging yearning to enter. Like the walls break and a flood of water comes in. The words fall out of my mouth. ‘I’m a virgin, Heisenberg.” I said loudly almost to loud. His eyes flash up to mine. “I was assuming so buttercup, do you not…” “NO! I do want your cock. I promise I just you… I just wanted to tell you before…” My words die in my thraot as Karl doens’t give any warning. He thrust hard and fast. 

The pressure wells up in my belly, and the scream that rips through my throat I’m sruprised I can still breathe. “Fuck, Shit… Karl… That hurt…” It’s a mumble of words. Theres tears in my eyes at the edge of falling off onto the sheets. Before they can karl is wiping them away with a rough padded thumb. “I’ll move in a second. I just couldn’t wait any longer. I should have just taken it back in that big dumb castle. Should have let your mother find me fucking you. I wanna hear your moans. I wanna hear my name on your Buttercup.” He whispers into my ear. 

The pain is less, the feeling of being full is what’s etched into my mind now. “I want… I want you to move please… Please just move already Karl” Begging for him to move I buck into his cock. Fresh tears fall. The tears of feeling full. 

“Alright, calm down. I’ll start movin’ now buttercup.” He whispers before coming back up and his hand rest neatly on my hips. Large fingers sprayed against my skin. 

Rough vs soft 

I remember the feeling of his cock falling out and then back in with a hard thrust. I remember the feeling of wanting to scream, cry, and everything else you can do. How his skin felt as I created half-created moons into his skin. How good he smelt his head bent into the crook of my neck as the time passed. How tight I felt as he stuffed me full of cum. How hard he gripped onto my hip as he cum. How my name flaoted off his lips with such ease. 

Most importantly I remember the green eyes that stared back into my own. As he rolled them back as he sputtered into a giant mess above me, as he came crashing down on me with the last thrust. How his fast, racing heart felt agaisnt my bare chest. 

Green eyes were what I fell asleep and woke up to all over again.

Completed on: 03/26/23

Posted on: 03/26/23

House Dimitrescu-

[milo-is-rambling]

Continueing the adventure of my last posts tags and reliving my childhood fears and general existence in my family which I have subconsciously packed away and literally have not been able to remember chunks of my childhood even when trying to remember what I did as a kid 👍 anyways back to it. Snuck into the bathroom. Didn’t puke. Win for drunk and high Milo. The bathroom door however is the loudest creakiest door in existence. Getting in here she for sure knows I’m awake. Now it’s her choice to attack with the trying to talk to me or to completely ignore me or to continue waiting and watching to attack her bait (me trying to exist without her involvement for like any amount of time) also there’s been a development. It wasn’t the living room or kitchen lights on making the hallway light up it was her bedroom door open with her bedroom light on. So good news bad news. Good news. She’s not in the living room. Less of a chance of her trying to talk to me. Bad news. Shes in her room and the door is exactly fully visible from the loud ass creaky bathroom door so if she’s in the main part of her room she will see me if she looks for me. I could camp out in the bathroom until her lights turn off. (Side note. All of this. Is how I legitimately thought of my life as a child. I was a mommy issues ninja. I was sneaking from room to room when her back was turned and trying to sneak away to read my book in silence or make my dolls have gay sex.) this reminds me so vividly of my childhood. My brothers bedroom had one of those humidifiers that had fish in it (not real fish they’re plastic like 2D fish) (someone please know what I’m talking about) but he had it and it kind of made like a bubbly sound and I would hear that through my bedroom wall all night and I would hear sounds of light traffic outside cause we lived in a small town it was mostly nature sounds and crickets and frogs and occasional dog barks. And the sound of my window fan going constantly on high and I would climb in and out of bed and watch the way the moon lit up the neighbors roof and I would watch the grass blow in the wind and in the morning I would walk barefoot through the dew and pick dandelions and walk to the bus stop in the cold with my cute little jacket and backpack and it felt like home and it felt safe and I was happy and I had friends I can’t believe life isn’t that anymore. I just heard my mom close her bedroom door score!!! We outlasted her. Also ps I’ve been sitting in the bathroom on the floor with the bathroom light off and the door completely closed and locked. I have mental health issues. I’m on a stealth mission my mother isn’t aware of at all and it literally just living her life and doesn’t care whatsoever what I’m doing. Anyways. Yeah. Being a kid in Maine everything just felt right and I’ve gone back to Maine and it’s just changed. We couldn’t even go inside the house I grew up in. And even if we could it would have all been different. We sold half our shit when we moved to New Hampshire when I was nine. Mom and dad couldn’t find work. But they found a job working at the same company together in New Hampshire so we sold half our shit and moved and rented a house that we went on to buy and call home for eight years. And then we moved to Florida and dad died and I went to Maine for the service. The house was different. Even from the outside. My grandmothers house no longer felt like home either. I was too tall. My head hit the ceiling fan when I walked. My grandparents were now at least six inches shorter than me and nothing in their lives had changed since I was a kid. Except for the heavy thick layer of grief and the feeling of death looming at the door. Now I know that’s dark but my grandfather is on his way out and my grandmother is losing her marbles. And both their kids died before them so like yknow I’m cutting them some slack here. They can live the same exact routine in life for twenty years who am I to judge if they get the same brand of puppy calendar every year with the same dogs in the same themed photos for every month just the

Dates are switched who am I to judge. Or when my grandfather buys a bar of hersheys dark chocolate and stores it in the fridge so it’ll break apart instead of melt in your mouth. Or how every night they watch the local news the weather then whelk of fortune and jeopardy back to back and then my grandmother puts me to bed (idk what she does now) and my grandfather shuffles his way to the dining room they never use that they only really use for storage and a singular big table and chairs set with a laptop on it (and a weird podium looking thing with a penguin candy jar on it all year round for some reason??) to watch his random shows or long ass documentary YouTube videos for hours and get seventy old person only computer viruses that we then have to help him deal with cause that laptop if the biggest source of joy in that man’s life. And then my grandmother gets ready for bed and eats a little dessert on the stool at the foot of her bed where her personal teeny tiny tv is to watch her law and order or her ncis or her bones or her whatever show is always on at night and plays the same like two seasons as reruns back to back. God I love them and their silly little simple life and I’m so glad I have that little slice of home. I will always be welcome there even if I am too big for the house and everything in it is fragile and all the furniture literally rattled when I walk bc my grandmother has weird taste that is like 70% china and 30% glass. Anyways. I love them and I love that house but I don’t feel like a kid there. I feel so so so out of place if anything it makes me sad to come back and realize that the only thing that’s changed that whole time is me. And now dad being gone obviously. And their health getting worse. But yknow. It’s there. And I’m thankful for that. I just wish I was still close with anyone there. We have my moms friend who I knew when I was a kid and don’t get me wrong I love their house and they’re so nice and goofy and redneck as fuck but the daughter I was once close friends with as a small child now doesn’t even talk to me or like look my way at all if I’m there so it also feels completely out of place now. They even fucking replaced the playground at the middle school. Like there is no where in my original home town that I can go back to and feel like a kid and it tears me up. I cannot physically describe how badly I need to go back to my elementary school in Maine and just walk through the halls and sit in the library and the computer lab and play outside on the playground. Truly the ages of 6-8 were the best years of my life cause when I turned nine we were either getting ready to move or had moved so eight was when I could still me a kid. Fuck. And then I finally felt like I was setting roots in New Hampshire and felt like I could almost breathe again they told me we were moving to a hot humid retirement / party state with alligators and sand instead of NORMAL GRASS and pine trees (sorry I am a proud sod hater give me real grass I hate not feeling like I can walk outside barefoot it is all rocks and fire ants and fake grass and spikes cactus evilness.) and now I live here. And my mom loves it. She is so happy and I just feel like I have no where else to go. I have no family or friends in the part of New Hampshire where we lived. I have no choice but to start over here. Either I start over here fully or I have to start here long enough to get out of here and start someone else to be broke and scared except also now you’re completely alone. And not even your mom who you adore but also kind of hate and you think she hates you but you know it’s just your brain saying that bc of course she loves you but also like… does she tho? Or is she holding the vow to you the same way she did to her husband. Telling anyone who would listen “I promised god and my dad that I was married to that man til death do us part” and then right after he died she’s like welp time to get back out there and she’s all happy glad about all this freedom she has now I know she’s like that with me I know she only loves me because

She has to she only loves me because I came out of her and me and my brother are all she has of my dad but my brother looks like him but acts like my mom but I act like my father and look like her so there’s that added self hatred if she looks at me and sees herself and wants to fix fix fix what isn’t hers to change about my life. And then I act like him and then there she is living alone with her dead husband again except no it’s his bitch of a daughter who will never love you as much as he did and it will forever be in the back of your mind even when you love me I will always be his child too. And you will never forgive me for that. She would leave me if I could handle it out there in the big bad world alone. I am the runt of this litter and I haven’t quite decided if I really want to survive it or not. It being life without constant attention care and devotion. And survive meaning is it better to have caused the pain now and make her proud later when I could just stop trying and let myself turn to dust in this room locked in from the outside watching shadows under doors and listening to the frogs croak outside. Summer heat settling in across my bedroom as I sneak out of bed and read my book with my flashlight until my mother walks by and yells to go to bed again. And the pink nightlight is illuminating the corner of my room with my Barbie’s and I want to play and feel like a kid again. I wish I could trade and be that kid for a day again. I want to play and feel free again and run just to run before my body started to hurt and ache and before I ever cut myself or held the gun in my hands and had to put it back down. I wish I could tell the childhood version of me that it gets better and it gets worse. You have to remember it all cause it’s gonna get lost in there. Really try to remember it all. And enjoy it. I’m proud of you for just being you.

I think I should drink every day forever actually if it makes me suddenly remember my childhood I’ve repressed for some reason that would be nice I could therapise myself thru poetry and long rambles that I throw poetic shit into and then call poetry even tho there’s really like three lines that weren’t completely off the dome. Anyways goodnight sorry for being your most annoying mutual forever ily I might delete this tomorrow

[broadwayloserstuff]

Jason Dean x Female! Reader Smut

So, y’all this is the third fic I’ve written today and I’m close to tears because people actually are liking my posts and I never feel this appreciated??? Like, y’all are amazing. Anyways, uh yeah I got a request for Jason Dean. Love the man tbh. It was never specified for what gender the reader is but I only have experience with AFAB anatomy. If the anon requester wanted a male reader, just send me an ask for a male reader and I’ll write it! So yeah this contains smut prompt 30 btw. WARNINGS: Smut, swearing, mentions of a gun and murder, and female reader being on the pill. So pretty much the usual JD shit. I’m pretty sure that’s it. As usual, if I missed something, feel free to let me know! MINORS DON’T INTERACT! JD looked down at the (your hair color) haired girl on his chest. Her (your eye color) eyes were focused on the movie that was playing. JD, however, could care less about the movie. After all, you could watch it as many times as you wanted. He was focused on her beauty. Y/N’s perfect lips were soft as velvet and he knew every part of her was absolute perfection. Anyone who thought otherwise met the business end of his gun. “Hey, darling,” he called. Y/N looked up into his dark brown eyes. “Hm?” she questioned. JD gave her his signature lopsided smile, “You’re so beautiful, my love.” Y/N lightly blushed. She may have gotten used to he boyfriend’s flirtatious manner but he still managed to fluster her.  Y/N had gotten used to a lot of her boyfriend’s habits over the last several months. She was no stranger to his bizarre hobby of murdering the horrible teens and college kids in Westerburg. She knew all about him murdering Heather Chandler, Kurt Kelly, and Ram Sweeney. Lately, he had killed a college sophomore who had actively preyed on high school freshman girls. JD often made good points on why he had killed his victims. Y/N, while she didn’t support it, still loved him.  She had also adjusted to JD’s clinginess. The man always had a hand on her waist or around her shoulder. He was afraid she’d up and leave him, just like his mother had done to him. Despite the late night phone calls where Y/N would constantly reassure JD that she would never leave him, he still refused to believe it. JD had moved Y/N so she now sat in his lap, her back against his chest as he peppered sweet kisses up and down her neck. Occasionally, he’d nibble at a spot then smirk as he felt Y/N tense up or her breathing begin to hitch. The both of them knew what he was trying to do and they both knew Y/N would give into him.  After a few more minutes of the movie, Y/N reached for the remote and shut the TV off. She let JD do what he wanted. After all, he was good in bed and Y/N knew damn well she wouldn’t be able to walk after tonight. She felt JD smirk against her neck as he sucked a hickey into her skin. Y/N sighed in pleasure and turned to meet his lips. As usual, his lips tasted like smoke and cigarettes. He bit her bottom lip, asking for entrance. Y/N playfully denied, wanting to tease him. JD didn’t seem to worry about this, however, because within a second he had shrugged out of his trench coat and t-shirt. Y/N took a moment to look at him. While he wasn’t ripped by any means, he definitely had some muscle but his lanky exterior suited his personality perfectly. Their lips met again, JD flipping them so he was on top. He pulled off the shirt Y/N wore and went back down on her, sucking even more hickeys and love bites into her skin, marking her as his.  All the while, Y/N ran her fingers through his raven black hair. She occasionally tugged at his hair, emitting a growl from JD. One hand held her neck while the other rested on Y/N’s waist. After a few minutes, JD pulled back and quickly examined his flustered girlfriend. He seemed to decide she was marked up enough at the moment and quickly got busy. JD yanked down the leggings Y/N wore and her panties in one swift move, tossing her bottoms off to the side. JD had seemingly decided to leave Y/N’s bra on, he liked her without her bra but in the moment, he had decided to leave it on.  He chuckled at her wetness, “All for me, doll? I’m honored.” Y/N bit her lip, trying to contain a beg. JD seemed to sense this and suddenly thrusted two fingers inside. Y/N let out a moan. “God, JD!” she cried. His free hand rubbed her clit slowly. After a few minutes, Y/N’s moans had gotten louder and she had began to beg. “P-please go faster, Jason,” she whined. He smirked at how bad she wanted him now. JD scissored his fingers and Y/N quickly reached her orgasm. JD let her ride out her high before pulling his fingers out and licking them, all while maintaining eye contact. He quickly yanked down his gray sweatpants and boxers. “You on the pill?” he quickly asked. Y/N hastily nodded and moaned as JD pushed himself in. JD let out a groan himself, “Fuck, always so tight, Y/N.” She only whined at his words as she adjusted to his size. JD pressed a kiss to her forehead as she said, “You can start moving now.” And boy did he. JD quickly picked up his pace and Y/N was screaming in no time. “JD, Jason, holy fuck!” JD picked up one of her legs and put it over his shoulder. By now, Y/N couldn’t even form coherent sentences. All she could manage were moans and broken words. She started clenching around JD’s dick and he leaned down, his head knocking against hers.  “Tell me you love me,” he ordered between pants. Y/N looked at him. “I love you, JD. I love you so much.”  With that, JD came and so did Y/N. The couple laid there for a few minutes, catching their breath. JD pulled out and yanked on his boxers and Y/N sleepily pulled on her panties. The couple curled up beneath a blanket, JD’s arms wrapped around Y/N’s waist.  Before Y/N fell asleep, JD kissed the top of her head and mumbled, “Don’t forget that you belong to me.” She sleepily replied, “Mm hmm.” JD seemed content with that and made himself comfortable and the couple slowly drifted off to dreamland.

[astoryisaloveaffair]

Fix You - Chapter 8: Hopeless Wanderer

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Fem!Reader

Fic Masterlist

Read on A03

Spotify Playlist

Club Scene Playlist

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Chapter Summary: Lex’s impact becomes clear. You come clean to Frankie. Frankie deals with his security in the relationship.

Word Count: 13K...dear....god...

Rating: E, 18+

Chapter Warnings: Legal age gap (10+ years), cussing, alcohol, discussions of substance abuse, discussions of PTSD, smut, fingering, oral (f rec), P in V, rough sex, one or two light smacks on the ass, exhibitionist kink, BIG BISEXUAL ENERGY, angst, jealousy, Frankie talking more than he has ever done in his LIFE, Santiago being a menace

A/N: Hi guys I’m BACCKKKK! Thank you all for being patient, I took a mini-hiatus and then agonized over this chapter for like 2 weeks. It’s an emotional one and I’m a perfectionist *shrug emoji*. I truly hope you all enjoy this chapter, it’s a long time coming and it was one of the elements of this story that I’ve thought about the most and wanted to get absolutely perfect. I’m still not sure it is, I’ve been doubting myself this entire chapter, but I can’t sit on it anymore. Music choice is a huge thing at the end of this chapter because I’m so dramatic, I made a completely additional playlist for this scene, but feel free to ignore it. I’m also working on more inclusive moodboards so if this one is a mess I am so sorry. 

Thank you to my love @sharkbait77​ for beta, military spouse knowledge, and the constant support, as well as @whiskeyyourwaytomyheart​ & @disgruntledspacedad​! Love you guys!

Suggested Songs: “Gold Dust Woman” by Fleetwood Mac, “Lover’s Eyes” by Mumford and Sons, “Hopeless Wanderer” by Mumford and Sons, “Hercules” by Guster, “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd & Rosalia, “Heart to Break” by Kim Petras, “Del Mar” by Ozuna, SIA, & Doja Cat, “Hillside Boys” by Kim Petras

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“You’re the babysitter right? I’m Lex. Frankie’s ex-wife.”

Before you can even utter a word, Gabi is struggling in your arms, reaching out for the woman in enthusiasm. “Mama!”

You clear your throat and set Gabi down and she runs to her mom’s legs, folding herself around them. Lex kneels down to hug her and give her a kiss before standing back up. Gabi remains by her legs. Your heart is pounding so loud you can feel it vibrating your ears and you have no idea why.

“Hi, yes, um - I’m the….babysitter.” You reach your hand out to shake hers and she takes it. She has a limp handshake, you note to yourself. That’s always been a pet peeve of yours. You force a smile and tell her your name. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs…”

“Lex.”

“Lex.” You repeat. “I’m...so sorry, I didn’t know you were coming over today. Fra-Mr. Morales didn’t mention anything.”

She squints at you under her sharp arched eyebrows, like she’s figured out some sort of secret about you. “Mmhmm.”

Fuck. I said his first name. You turn and gesture to the door to keep yourself from unintentionally revealing yourself any further. “Do you - do you want to come in? I think there’s some iced tea or something in the fridge.”

She smirks again, a repetitive shit-eating grin that’s already getting on your nerves. “No. Thank you for the sweet offer. I just stopped by really quickly to drop off Gabriela’s diaper bag. Frankie forgot it when he picked her up on Sunday.”

“Oh, okay.” You say, furrowing your brow. “But...Frankie already has his own diaper bag for her. It’s in the hallway.”

She lifts an eyebrow and tilts her head and you’re so mad at yourself you almost slap yourself in the forehead. You should have just said nothing. You drop your head and stare at Gabi, who has situated herself on the deck to watch the interaction with rapt attention.

“You’re very smart. I guess I should be happy about that at least.” Lex continues, gesturing for you to sit in one of the adirondacks as she moves to sit in an adjacent one. Moving around like she fucking owns the place. You take the seat anyways. “I’m sure you can imagine how it must feel as a mother to not be able to meet the girl who is watching your daughter, especially when her daughter mentions you as often as Gabriela does. I simply wanted to meet you.”

“That makes sense.” You agree, doing your best not to bristle at her calling you “girl”. You desperately want to get out of this conversation, be as polite as possible and gently send her on her fucking way, so you say what you need to in order to placate her. 

She leans back in the chair, scooping up Gabi and placing her on her lap. “So, why is my ex-husband keeping you from me?”

You meet her eyes, doing your utmost to remove any agitation or hostility from your gaze. “I don’t really know, ma’am, I honestly just come here and watch Gabi a few nights a week. I don’t really get into anything else with Mr. Morales. He’s rarely here when I’m here. When he hired me he just said it wasn’t necessary to meet you. I didn’t think anything of it. I figured you had your own babysitter for her.”

She seems mollified, heaving a sigh and softening her features, no longer looking like a vulture circling a piece of roadkill. “Well, then I’m sorry to have put you in the middle of this. I’m afraid Frankie has painted me as some kind of villain. I only want the best for my daughter.”

You nod. “I completely understand and agree. I’m sorry if you feel slighted that I didn’t find a way to reach out. I’m happy to supply you any of my certifications if you need or -”

She cuts you off again. “No, that won’t be necessary. I can see you’re a smart young woman. I apologize if I caused a disruption.” She places Gabi back down on the porch and acts like she’s getting up to leave, but instead leans forward towards you and looks you straight in the eyes. It makes you nervous. “Listen, I’m not sure how much Frankie has told you, but he has a long and serious history of making unsafe decisions for our family. I truly hope he mentioned to you that he is a cocaine addict. So, you can see why it makes me extremely uneasy whenever he has Gabriela with him.”

You inhale deeply, your eyes widening at her blatant disregard for Frankie’s privacy, reaching out to grip one of the armrests of the chair for support. What. The. Fuck. Anger, blinding hot anger sears through you so strongly that you can barely even make a response.

She takes your hand, misinterpreting your reaction as she continues speaking. “So, I was hoping you could do me a favor.” You meet her eyes again, but you can feel the rage and protectiveness boiling over inside you. This is fucked. This is completely fucked up and so out of line. Not that Frankie didn’t share with you his problems, no, but that this woman had the nerve to tell someone she just met something so incredibly private, so unbelievably personal.

She capitalizes on your verbal paralysis and pushes forward. “I would like you to take my number, and please call me and give me updates on how he’s doing. Should he do anything strange, or if he puts Gabriela at risk in any way, I want you to call me and I will come immediately. Okay?” She releases your hand and pulls a receipt from her purse, scribbling her number on it.

You are still in such shock at her audacity that you can only dumbly nod and take the paper, only snapping back to yourself when she stands to leave.

“Lex.” You say, and she turns around, hovering on the porch step. You're standing now too. “I want you to know that if Gabriela is ever in danger or at risk of getting hurt, I will call you. And the police. But that will never happen. Frankie is an amazing father, from what I’ve seen. And to be quite honest, you did not hire me. Frankie did. And I will not spy on him for you, because that is what you are asking me to do. I don’t know you. I’m not doing that. I’m sorry.”

Her expression doesn’t shift one iota, she only hums again. “Frankie. Yes. Frankie hired you. Yet I thought you said you were rarely around him? Still, forgive me for not realizing you had an allegiance.” She turns her head, unwilling to regard you any further as she reaches down and kisses Gabi on the head. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

She turns and leaves without even saying goodbye to you. Gabi starts crying at the abrupt loss of her mother, and Lex leaves you to deal with it, getting in her car and driving away without a glance.

“Bitch.” You say, then slap your hand over your mouth. Gabi hasn’t even noticed. You sigh and pick her up, she’s wailing in your arms and you turn to the front door, the atmosphere of the afternoon ruined. You almost trip over the giant obnoxious diaper bag she left, like it was on purpose and she knew you’d fall over it. You huff angrily. Why the fuck did she leave this shit here?

You know why as soon as Frankie returns home. You hear the truck door slam, perking up as he enters the house. 

“Hey baby! Bonita!” He’s grinning widely as he sees you, eyes sparkling as he shifts his attention from you to Gabi, who is quickly waddling towards him. You get up from the couch to meet them in the entranceway, smiling softly as he bends down to reach for Gabi. The way he interacts with her always does something for you, you’re not sure what to call it. 

As he kneels, his eyes adjust to the shift in height and he quickly notices two gigantic diaper bags lying side by side where there normally is just one. He halts, Gabi held up in his outstretched hands, only remembering to absently pick up and hold her to his chest when she begins squirming in his grasp at the lapse in attention.

“What’s -” He looks back at you with a grimace before he looks down again, as if trying to make sure he’s not having a recurrence of shell-shock double vision. But it’s there, and his eyes slowly trail back up to yours in a hauntingly vacant expression you haven’t seen from him before. His eyes look empty. No warmth. No light. “She was here.”

It’s fear. You think. He’s afraid. You meet his eyes, trying to pour as much sympathy into your expression to him as possible. “Yea. She was.”

Before you can say anything more, he blinks several times and slowly puts Gabi back down, his lips pressed into a grim line. You can see his irises melt out into his pupils to form giant black pools of rage, and you suddenly realize why she left that diaper bag. Why he was afraid. She wanted to upset him. She wanted him to spiral. And that realization only makes you hate her more.

“Frankie…” You whisper, reaching for him. He closes his eyes and puts one large palm up.

“Did she say why?”

You lean back against the back of the couch, giving him some space. “She came claiming you forgot this diaper bag. I told her we already had one. She wasn’t too pleased. She really just wanted to meet me.”

He opens his eyes and glares at the wall, his jaw ticking as the anger works its way out. “Anything else?”

You hesitate for a moment, not sure if you should tell him. You don’t want to upset him more. But you pride yourself on your honesty and you never would want to lie or keep something from him. “She...told me about...the cocaine. And she asked me to spy on you. I told-”

You don’t get to finish, because he finally snaps in a jerk of motion. “God FUCKING. DAMMIT!’ He yells, ripping his hat off and flinging it against the wall. You reel back at the sudden release, even though you somewhat anticipated it. Gabi whimpers and moves back behind the couch. 

He breathes deeply and puts his face in his hands. “Fuck, I - I gotta go. I’ll be back later, I’m about to lose it and I don’t want to scare her. You gotta stay.” He turns around abruptly and rips the door open, turning first towards the end table outside on the porch that held his emergency cigarettes. He sloppily starts rolling one before he moves to leave.

“Shit.” You mutter. You don’t want him to leave, you want to help him. Leaving in a huff to be by himself won’t help anything. You stand in the doorway, turning back to Gabi. “Gabi baby, I need you to go to your toy box and play with something, don’t move from there, you’re okay. You’re safe. Daddy is just sad. Okay?” She nods slowly, the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes slightly dissolving at your words and you step through the doorway to stop Frankie from leaving, but he’s still there, blessedly still struggling to roll his cigarette in his shaking, anger-filled hands.

He finally gets it, thrusting it between his lips as he lights it, huffing the first drag out harshly and makes to leave down the porch steps, but you step into his way.

“Frankie, please don’t leave. Please talk to me.”

He glares at you for impeding him, but pauses long enough that you can grasp him by the waist and push him towards one of the chairs. “Sit down for a minute.”

He stubbornly plants his heels right in front of the chair and you stop with him, the weight of him keeping you from propelling further. Frankie grips both of your wrists in his hands, taking them off him with a gentleness you’re surprised he can muster in his current state.

“No, I -“

“Sit down Frankie.” You order, and he blinks incredulously at you before…sitting down. 

You pull the rocking chair across from him closer to the open door so you can look in on Gabi before finally taking a seat, the angle allowing you to see her between the gap of the couches.

Frankie takes another drag, exhaling forcefully and it seems like he might be calming down until he suddenly stands up again and grabs the lantern off the end table, flinging it at one of the columns at the far end of the porch with a haggard shout. 

“FUCK.” 

You say nothing, doing your best not to wince as the lantern frame crumples on impact, the plexiglass dislodging from the frame as it falls from the floor. He leans back against the railing of the porch in front of you, the smoke of the cigarette curling around his ears and hair, and covers his face with his hands again.

You crane your neck and check in on Gabi, who is doing exactly as you asked and trying to distract herself with some toys. You call to her and reassure her before turning back around towards Frankie. His outburst seems to have settled him somewhat. You give him a few minutes before speaking, watching as his breaths slow down, his hands stop shaking.

“Did that help?”

“Yea. It did actually.” He looks up, face pinched in a mix of different emotions you’re determined to find out. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I just...I fucking hate her.”

You nod. “I get it. She’s...definitely something.”

He hangs his head.

“But Frankie...I told her no! She can go fuck right off with that. I’m not going to spy on you for her. She was completely out of line to ask me to do that, and I told her so.”

“But now you know.” He looks away.

“Now I know what? That she’s a bitch?”

“No. That...I have a cocaine problem.”

“You do not have a cocaine problem. You are a recovering cocaine addict. There’s a huge difference, and it doesn’t change anything about who you are, the work you’ve done to change that, and how I feel about you.”

He looks up at you questioningly. “How?”

“Cause you are so much more than that Frankie, and it’s been a year and a half, hasn’t it? You told me that.” He nods, and you lift yourself out of the chair to stand in front of him, taking his cigarette and placing it on the end table before cupping his scruffy face. He’s clenching his jaw so hard you’re certain he’ll give himself a tension headache if he doesn’t fucking relax.

“You said you went to Narcotics Anonymous, those are hard drugs. I’ve known that. And I knew you would tell me in time. The time is just now, apparently.”

He moves his head to kiss your palm before grabbing your hands and holding them in his, meeting your eyes. “I don’t deserve you.” He husks.

“What?!” You scoff. “Please, no. If every person that’s made mistakes never got to have someone ever care about them again this would be an even shittier world than it is already.”

He huffs out a deep breath and pulls you into his arms, his head dropping heavily into your neck as you wrap your arms around him. You gently scrape your fingertips into the nape of his neck, twirling his soft curls around your fingers as he sags boneless in your arms.

After a few moments he lifts his head and presses it against yours, and you angle your face into that little missing patch of hair in his stubble to place a quick kiss there. 

“Feeling better?” You whisper.

“Yea, thank you.”

“Good.”

“Oh.” He utters, and you turn your head to find Gabi hovering by the doorframe looking at the two of you, fingering the propeller of her favorite helicopter toy, the back and forth movements of the spokes comforting her.  You quickly break apart from him.

“Daddy? Yoo sad?” 

You might die. You might actually pass away. The way his brows draw in and his eyes melt, it’s so fucking adorable, your heart and your organs and every single ridge of your brain has definitely turned to goo. You just know it.

“No, baby girl, daddy’s not sad anymore. I’m okay. Are you okay? Did I scare you?” He asks, kneeling down next to her.

She sniffles and shakes her head, ever the strong little girl that you were growing to love so well. “Okay, daddy.” She reaches for him and he lets out a shuddering breath, taking her into his embrace and stands, swaying her back and forth. He ticks his head towards the door at you, and the two of you re-enter the house. He sits on the couch with Gabi and presses small kisses into her hair, gently rubbing her back to comfort her. After settling her back down in his lap, she turns to you where you’re hovering near the couch. “Fower okay?”

You look at Frankie confused as he shoots a wink at you. “Yea baby. Wildflower’s okay too. We’re all okay.”

Well, if you weren’t a puddle before, you sure the fuck are now at hearing Gabi try to say your nickname, and you can barely process what’s even going on as she reaches for you and you’re pulled onto the couch and into a three-way hug by Frankie, because every single cell in your body is composed of millions of butterflies and your brain has completely stopped working.

You close your eyes and just feel. Frankie’s arm wrapped around your back and pulling you into his chest, Gabi’s arm across your waist, the crisp scent of Frankie’s cologne mixed with his sweat, the sharp tang of freshly smoked cigarette, the gentle puffing of his chest rising and falling. It’s heaven.

All too soon, Frankie’s arm drops from you and Gabi follows suit, and the three of you awkwardly untangle yourselves. You decide finally just to watch a movie hoping for some distraction, settling on Beauty and the Beast, and nestle tightly all together under a large throw blanket, only pausing to eat Frankie’s famous grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. The excitement of the day clearly tuckered Gabi out and she falls asleep leaning on you much earlier than her normal bedtime. You give her a kiss as Frankie picks her up and takes her to bed, turning off the movie and stretching your stiff muscles from sitting in one position for so long. Frankie has a great couch, just the perfect amount of softness to sink in as you lay down completely across it and sigh heavily. What a fucking day.

You feel the trail of a rough and calloused fingertip gliding up your forearm, swirling around and grazing your skin with the nail softly as it meanders up your bicep, before Frankie’s whole hand cups around your arm.

“Mmmm that feels nice.”

It’s dark enough you can’t see him smiling, but you know he is. “Bed?”

You nod and allow him to take your hand and gently tug you up, pulling you behind him to the bedroom where you both collapse on the bed fully clothed. You roll to face him, the two of you angling towards each other in half-moons. 

He speaks first. “Crazy day.”

“Yea.”

“Thanks again…for…everything I guess.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“You did...keeping me here, calming Gabi, calming me...dealing with her.” 

“You’re welcome, but it was no big deal.”

“But...ugh.” He grunts. He’s never been great at explaining himself and his feelings, and he struggles to make you understand how much today meant to him. “It was to me. I just...I appreciate it.”

You reach out and squeeze his hand and he squeezes yours back, rolling to his back and bringing you with him to settle in his nook like you love. You nestle in, rubbing your nose into the soft cotton covering his pectoral muscle as you wrap your arm across his softer waist. The arm cradling your head bends and he wraps his forearm around you, large palm caressing small circles on your side.

“I want to….dammit.”

You lean your head up to look at him, though you’re more looking at his beautiful jawline from this angle, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“I want to talk to you about it but I’m not good at this shit.”

You hold him tighter. “That’s okay. Just...say whatever you want. I’ll listen.”

He nods, his lips twitching and you can see him swallow nervously, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he compiles his thoughts.

“She wasn’t always like that. It just...slowly started being that way.”

“Lex, you mean?”

“Yea. We met in between two of my deployments. Everything was so great at first, she was supportive of me and she got on with my friends, she stayed with me while I was away and would always write and send care packages. I’ve never been perfect but it never bothered her. She just...liked me.”

“It?”

“I would get sad sometimes, for no reason. And I can be kind of a dick occasionally.” He chuckles softly. “But she made it better. She always made me feel better. But then...we got married, I climbed the ranks, and the tours I was doing started...affecting me more I guess. She didn’t make it better anymore. She tried though, but I just. I dunno. I guess you can only kill so many people before it starts fucking you up.”

You bite your lip to stop from making a sound. You knew he killed people, he’d mentioned it once before. But this was the first time he’d ever acknowledged to you how bad it might have been, how it could have made him feel, and you don’t utter a sound that would interrupt his thoughts.

He takes a deep breath, all the thoughts in his head making it difficult for him to hone in on what he’s trying to say, so he just rambles, letting himself push out the words organically, hoping it will make sense to you. 

“When I finished, I came home and I didn't even know what was going on in her life anymore. I’d gotten so used to a specific way of living in the military, everything was structured and I got anything I needed. I didn’t know where to go or what to do when I got home. So I did what I knew, flying helicopters contractually. And then just interacting normally with people who weren’t actively trying to kill me, making small talk with people who had no idea what the fuck I’d been through...I didn’t know how to do it. And I was fucking miserable, all the time, and the things that worked before weren’t working. So I...I started using.”

He quiets, and you offer the information he already told you. “And you didn’t find much help at the VA?”

He audibly scoffs. “I didn’t even try, not at first. I wanted to do it on my own, I thought I could. It’s hard to explain...like it made me feel weak to need help. To ask for it. So I didn’t. And Lex begged and pleaded for me to do something, go to therapy or a doctor or whatever. I didn’t want to. I just...I got my first hit from another pilot on the job I was doing. And all of a sudden I just felt so good. Like how I used to feel. Just...happy. So I kept doing it, cause I didn’t want that to go away. It got pretty bad. But no matter how much she begged and cried, I couldn’t stop. And then I got caught. That’s...that’s why I can’t fly anymore.”

“How’d you get caught?”

“They did a random drug test on me and of course I fucking failed. I could barely even function for my shifts anymore. They suspended my license and I was fired.”

“Fuck. Is the suspension permanent?”

“No, it isn’t,  but I didn’t know that at first. Once I knew, that kicked me in the ass enough to realize I had to stop that shit. Lex was right, and I didn’t wanna lose her, and not even being able to fly...I can’t not fly. I can’t. I threw all my shit out and quit cold turkey.  Looking for help through the VA was kinda like talking to a wall, so I just ended up just doing it on my own. I struggled a bit at first, but things got better, Lex calmed down and I did some handyman side jobs to scrape by. I felt like maybe we could be happy again when she got pregnant. And then when we had Gabi…it was like, damn, this is what it’s about. This right here. Her. She was so perfect and beautiful, and I’d helped create that. I didn’t want to ruin her life. I wanted to give her everything but we didn’t have a lot of money. Then...Pope came home. He was working in Colombia to hunt down drug dealers or something. Asked us to do this little mission and I thought it would be a quick and easy way to get some good money for my family. She didn’t want me to go. Begged me not to. I should have listened…”

 “What happened?”

“Mission went South. Series of bad decisions and everything went to shit. And Redfly...Tom, that’s when he died. On that mission. Shouldn’t have even fucking gone. But...well, you know Pope. He’s persuasive. I just wanted to support my team. But maybe if I’d said no, maybe if I hadn’t...well. I feel responsible.”

“I’m so sorry Frankie, I’m sure you aren’t responsible, there was no way to know what would have happened. But I can’t imagine what it must have felt like to feel that guilt on top of everything else. Did you talk to Santiago about it ever?” He shakes his head solemnly, and you kiss him softly on his pec before letting him continue.

“No. It’s...hard to talk about. For us. We didn’t even get all the money we were supposed to. Barely any of it. What we did get we gave to Tom’s wife and kids cause we felt so bad. And...other things happened on the mission that weren’t supposed to happen. So I went home and was right back in the place I was before. Except even worse. Miserable and lost. And...fuck, I used again.”

“Oh, Frankie…” You murmur as he pulls you into his side harder. You slip your fingers under the hem of his shirt and rub your fingers around his hip.

“Yea...I just felt the worst fucking piece of shit. And I couldn’t get out of it this time. Stopped working, laid around and did nothing. Lex, she was just so disappointed, and when she was done being disappointed, she was mad, and she just stayed that way. She’d nag, yell, baby me, she tried everything but it only made it worse. She threatened to leave so many times, but I guess it never really seemed...real. Until she did. She took Gabi from me and left. Gabi was only six months old. Filed for sole custody and told the courts all about my drug use and how I didn’t have a job.  I was barely allowed to see her and I just got even worse. Up for days, sleep for days, not eating or drinking. It was bad.”

“Fuck...Frankie, how did you get sober?”

“Will. He came over and read me the riot act, got me up and made me go to rehab. I knew it was my last shot. I was in too deep this time and couldn’t do it myself. And I wanted it done for good, for Gabi. I didn’t fuck around. Went in there for three months and then I got out and started going to NA every day. Haven’t touched it again, told myself it wasn’t an option anymore. I needed to get Gabi back. I needed to be good, for her, and I guess for me too. Will knew a guy who worked at the airport so I got a good job there, I got a fucking amazing lawyer too and when I’d been sober for a year, I started getting visitation without supervision. But I wanted more, so we pushed and got joint custody. That’s when I hired you.”

You hum and sit up a little, moving to lay your head on his soft tummy so you can look at him easier. He looks down at you and smiles softly, exhaling a slow sigh as he trails his fingers along your hair. “Sorry. That was long.”

You shake your head. “No, thank you for telling me. It makes me feel good that you trust me with all of this. So...why is Lex still so angry with you? You’d think she’d be happy you were sober again.”

He sighs. “I don’t know. She just...whenever I’m around her she is just so bitter, so resentful and it always makes me feel bad. She always assumes I’m gonna fuck up, never trusts me with anything anymore. It feels like she purposely wants to trip me up.  I don’t...I don’t need that. That doesn’t help me. At first I thought I could win her back, but that was fucked. She’d found someone else and now they’re happily married I guess.”

“That sounds like it was really hurtful.”

“It was for a while, not so much anymore. Mostly now I just can’t stand the attitude. And she makes me feel guilty because she hates me for ruining her life.”

The two of you fall quiet for a few moments. A thought keeps prickling in the back of your head, something familiar. You struggle to grasp it, searching through your thoughts and memories like when you’re trying to find a small passage in a massive textbook. His fingers are absently trailing along your hairline, something your ex used to do when he wanted to calm you down. And then, suddenly, you have it.

You sit up abruptly and cross your legs, looking down at him. “Yea, she is mad. She’s mad and sad, and resentful, but mostly, she feels like shit about herself.”

He furrows his brow. “What?”

“Yea, see, she thought she was able to fix you before, and that changed. She suddenly wasn’t enough anymore. I'm sure there’s a lot of feelings tied up in that. Anger, resentment, hurt, jealousy that you’re doing it now on your own. It makes sense.”

He sits up straighter too. “Holy shit.”

“Yea and she became so desperate that she became controlling and that made it worse for you, and pushed her until she couldn’t take it anymore and now she’s stuck in that mode because that’s where she was last with you. It all makes sense!”

He grimaces, face pinching as if the pull of his muscles could draw his thoughts together as well. “But...but I did get better...eventually. If she’d just stayed a little longer…” He trails off.

“It sounds like the situation was just affecting her too much. And that’s the thing, she wasn’t going to be able to fix you. It was you. You were. And maybe you needed her to be away to do that.”

“Yea, Will always tells me she’s not able to support me anymore.”

“No. And if she’d stayed maybe you never would have gotten better. There’s no way to tell. So you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.”

His nod is so subtle you might have missed it, just barely bobbing his head. You’re struck by how at ease and open he looks, his eyes hooded but still so wide, and you revel in the thought that this man has let down his walls so much with you. It makes you want to do the same in return. You feel your heart rate picking up at the thought of what you’re about to say.

“I get it...because....it’s happened to me.”

He raises his eyebrows, leaning forward and crossing his legs, propping himself up on his hands with his elbows on his knees. 

“I’m a fixer too. I see someone upset, see a problem and I want to fix it. It’s gotten me in a lot of trouble romantically. I find someone who’s sad and broken and get overly invested in them, try to fix them, and then when it eventually isn’t enough it absolutely devastates me.”

Frankie swallows, panic rising in his chest at the immediate implications of your confession. Shit. Am I the same? Is she just into me because she wants to fix me? His heart starts racing again, completely unbidden, and he struggles to keep himself calm as you finish.

You can feel yourself shaking, the fear and anxiety at finally sharing this part of you that’s been buried for so long with someone you were falling for and didn’t want to scare away. But you force yourself to continue. He shared with you. You felt you owe him some transparency back.

“My last boyfriend, I was so fucking in love with him. And I helped for a while, but then...I couldn’t. He was just unable to overcome his issues and it ended up getting really toxic for me. I got too emotionally invested in his mental status. But I couldn’t leave, I wouldn’t. I was convinced I could still save him, if I just loved him hard enough, even if it broke me in the process. But I couldn’t, we drifted further and further away from each other, arguing more and more and he ended up breaking up with me anyways. But...I honestly thought he was the love of my life. I was fucking devastated. It took me a long time to recover. And it wasn’t the first person that this happened with.”

You pause, noticing he’s staring at you with wide, panicked eyes, so you hurry to finish. “I told myself that I needed to be alone for a while, and I was. I said before to you that I probably could use some therapy, and I spoke from experience. I did therapy and some personal reflection and took care of myself. And now I realize what I was doing and I’m not doing it again. But I can say from my own history, you can’t fix someone. Not with love. Not with threats. A person can only fix themselves, for themselves.”

Frankie doesn’t know what to think, too many thoughts are swirling around in his head, jumbling everything you’ve said and only focusing and emphasizing the bad parts. The parts that might affect him. The parts that he already questions about himself already. He slows his breathing, trying to regain control of himself.

“What about me? I’m broken.” He mutters.

You roll your eyes. “Frankie, you’re not broken.”

He scoffs. “I’m a little broken.”

You grab his face and make him look at you. “Frankie. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to fix yourself. No one can do it for you. And you have, you’ve been doing that. I met you after you already did that work. I’m just...reaping the benefits.” You chuckle, and he smiles, relief at the small break in tension.

“You don’t need me,” You continue. “You don’t rely on me, and I am not doing anything to do it for you. I like you for you, and I liked you before I knew anything. Please believe that. I don’t do that anymore. I just...wanted you to know because it’s my past, cause you shared yours with me.”

He nods, focusing on the words coming from your mouth and not the negative thoughts in his head. You trusted him. You shared something deep about yourself with him. It’s been so long since he’s been trusted so implicitly, and suddenly the meaning of it overwhelms him with affection and he surges forward to kiss your lips with a force that almost winds you, practically sucking your lips into his mouth with its veracity. When you finally part with heavy breaths, he pulls you back down with him with a sigh. You reach up and cup his face with your hand, sliding your thumb along the muscles of his jaw. 

“Jesus Frankie, your jaw muscles are hard as a rock! Does it hurt?”

He grunts and shrugs, and you move off him and push at his shoulder. “Turn around.”

He rolls so he’s on his side facing away from you, and you lay behind him with enough distance to start rubbing your fingers around the muscles of the back of his neck, slowly working out the tension and crunchy knots as you move towards his jaw.

“Mmph...that feels good.” 

You kiss the center of his strong back right between the shoulderblades, trailing your nose up and down his spine. He hums and you can feel his muscles melt down, the stiffness of his frame settling and releasing into the mattress.

After a long while you stop, he turns around to face you. You wrap your arms around his waist and curl your body into his as much as you can. He puts his chin on top of your head and threads his fingers into your scalp, curling his palm around the curve of your head.

“Thank you. I owe you one.” He slurs sleepily without thinking about it.

“Hmmm.” You smirk, even though he can’t see it. “I’ll think of a way to collect.”

Frankie groans softly. “It’s not going to be a massage, is it?”

“Nope.”

“I’m not going.”

You just laugh, nuzzling into his chest as the two of you fall asleep.

Frankie wakes before you, eyes jolting open for no discernable reason until he feels the tingling flutters in his chest. The room is dark except for the lamp on the nightstand he’d forgotten to turn off, the windows still dark enough he knew it was not yet morning. 

He rolls onto his back and rubs his eyes, stretching his tight muscles as he realizes he’s still fully dressed in his jeans and t-shirt. The two of you had dislodged at some point, you were a couple feet away, facing him with your arms slightly stretched out in front of you. You looked peaceful. 

He’s envious of it, but now that he’s awake, he can’t help but think about what the two of you had talked about, unable to settle down and go back to sleep.

I find someone who’s sad and broken and get overly invested in them. 

I try to fix them. 

When it eventually isn’t enough it absolutely devastates me.

And fuck, he can’t help but wonder if you are doing it again, despite your protestations. He is a mess, a broken mess who can’t help but ruin everything despite how hard he tries, he knows that, and he wonders if you sensed that and were drawn to him like a moth to a flame. His heart clenches in his chest at the thought that he was just satisfying a fixation for you, that your involvement and attraction to him might be based on something deeply rooted and potentially harmful. It fucking hurts. And it scares the shit out of him. 

He winces and runs his fingers through his hair, rubbing his forehead as his hand returns to his side, exhaling a heavy sigh. 

Stop. Just...stop. 

He can’t think this way. He knows he can’t. He’s been taught and taught not to allow thoughts like these to overwhelm his logic. He takes another deep centering breath and turns on his side to look at you, look at your face, at the way you almost could be reaching for him, and reminds himself what else you said.

I realize what I was doing and I’m not doing it again.

You have to fix yourself. And you have, you’ve been doing that. I met you after...

You don’t need me. You don’t rely on me.

“But I do need you…” He chuckles softly, reaching out to tuck a stray chunk of hair behind your ear. Your brows pinch together slightly and your head shifts slightly towards his hand, as if you can feel him through your haze of sleep. He marvels at how you’re always so responsive to him, always in tune with him even if you aren’t aware of it. 

No. There is a connection here. And it’s more than just some sort of complex. You haven’t helped him do anything. You’ve just been there...supporting him. Never pushing, never controlling. Just a caring ray of light at his side that just exists there. That wants to exist with him.

But maybe both are true. And if they are, and he ruins it, then what? 

He will devastate you.

And suddenly, he needs. He just needs, possessively and desperately, to know that you're irrefutably his, at least for now. He needs to know and feel that he’s yours. He needs you to wake up, he needs to distract himself, he needs you to push these thoughts away because if he thinks about it, if he just sits here and thinks about how deeply he’s falling for you and the fact that everything, everything in his life he manages to screw up, he will fucking lose it. 

“Baby…” He whispers, caressing his thumb against your temple. “Hey...wake up.” He moves his hand to your shoulder, nudging you gently, your eyes cracking open to his hazy silhouette in the dim light.

“Frankie…” You mumble, smiling sleepily. He pulls his hand away and you turn and stretch. “Shit. Did we fall asleep?”

“Yea.”

He reaches out again, cupping the back of your neck as he shuffles his body to yours. You meet him at the mouth, slanting your lips against his briefly when he’s close enough. Before you can pull away completely, he’s kissing you again, soft little pecks intermittently interrupted by lip sucking kisses as if he hoped to inhale you, eventually rolling you so you’re on your back, his weight firmly pressed between your thighs. He’s breathing slow but heavy, his eyes darting between yours with such a blatant intensity you struggle not to look away at the rawness of it.

He kisses you again, nibbles your lower lip and wets his tongue against it before letting it go, and you tilt your head to meet his kiss more, reciprocating by sliding your tongue into his mouth. He whimpers, a sound so filled with desperation and longing you can’t help but cant you hips into his despite your grogginess. He’s already wanting, pressing insistently against your jean covered groin.

“Need you.” He pants in between kisses. And how can you resist when he sounds like that? His hips move rhythmically against yours, a slow rocking back and forth and you respond to his plea by pushing his soft cotton shirt over his waist, trailing your fingers along his ribs as and up around his nipples as he pulls it off. He shivers under your touch, fumbling with the button of your jeans, struggling to open them in his shaking fingers. You push him off, settling him on his back as you stand and remove your jeans, shirt, and bra, crawling up to him and straddling his hips to do the same for his own jeans. His eyes are large, round, eyebrows tilting up, almost looking like a begging puppy. Begging for a pet, begging for praise, begging for your love. He closes his eyes and sighs as you pull his pants and boxers off, his need for you standing proudly for your attention.

You clamber back over him, cupping his face with your hands and kiss him deeply. He whimpers again, fucking raw and slightly unhinged as you feel his cock brush against the fabric of your panties. You can feel his pre-cum wetting a patch against the cotton. He raises his hands and plays with the seam of them at your waist but pauses there, as if waiting for your permission. He’s quiet, so very quiet, more than he usually is when the two of you fuck each other.

“Cat,” You whisper, stroking your thumbs under his eyes and across his cheeks. “Are you okay?”

“I just need to feel you.” He pulls your hips down on him, moaning softly. “Fuck me, please.”

You stand and shuck off your underwear before swinging your leg and settling back over him, your folds sliding against the rigid line of his cock. You gyrate against him, watching his expressions shift and morph as he chases the feeling, letting you have complete control over his pleasure. It’s...intoxicating. You finally lift up enough to grab his length and tease it through your wetness, smearing it around even more before slipping him into you and sheathing him completely inside you, the perfect stretch of him making you gasp as you sink down flush with his hips. You both moan together and he reaches for your hips with his hands, but you grab them and push them back down at his sides. Something about his neediness stirs you, and you just want to give, Want him to just take.

“You want me to fuck you?” You murmur. “Then let me fuck you..” 

“Fucccckkk.” He groans, tossing his neck back, the chords of muscles and tendons heaving out as he swallows roughly. You start moving and he wriggles under your hands but you push them down harder. 

“You need me?” You husk as you begin moving slowly, rolling your hips against his. “Let me give you me, how I want. You just take. Let me take care of you. You always take care of me, let me take care of you.” He keens under your words, it’s so fucking beautiful hearing him at your mercy. It makes you feel powerful, like his fucking goddess. He strains against you again on impulse, lifting his hips to try and grind into you, his tummy puffing out with heavy, lust filled breaths. 

“Be good Frankie.” You take his hands and pull them over his head, pressing down into him as your chest brushes his. You can feel his forearms flexing under you as he resists straining against you to try and reach up to cup your breasts as your chests touch. He growls as you roll your hips, languidly building up to move faster and faster, periodically grinding down onto him and sending him so deep inside you your eyes roll back in your head. The hair above his cock creates the perfect friction for you to graze and slide against, and you feel yourself climbing, climbing so close to where you need to be, the sound of him muttering sporadically under his breath and his balls slapping the lips of your pussy each time you roll back spurring you on.

“Jesus Christ...you’re so fucking beautiful...feel so fucking good around me...” He cuts himself off with a loud groan as impale yourself with a particularly sharp thrust, your thighs trembling because you’re still just waking up and you’re already so close.. So fucking close at how he’s wriggling under you, the way he’s baring his teeth, the ways his eyes are shut so tight they are only small little half moons, the way your nipples are rubbing against his chest, the way every muscle in his body is taut as a drum to keep from touching you and letting you ride him to oblivion, the way he’s whimpering under you and FUCK you’re there, you push up and slam your pussy down onto him as you cum, swiveling your hips enough for his groin to press into your clit while the pleasure shockwaves through you. You slam your eyes shut as colors pop behind your eyelids, crying out as you gush around him.

You almost collapse onto him from the effort, but force yourself not to because you want to give him what he needs, give him yourself without having to work for it, so he can just feel you and release. You sit back up and bounce on him, sliding him almost entirely out of you then falling back down, your palms spread open on his chest as you ride him. His heartbeat is racing and you can feel a sheen of sweat gathering under your palms that you’re not sure is his or yours. You can feel yourself tiring and you push not to slow down, leaning forward slightly on your hands to help with your momentum. 

And he's being so good, his hands clenched into fists at his sides like you asked him to and his begs and pleas give you the strength you need to slide him into you just right, clenching around the drag of his cock.

 “Shit - don’t stop baby, just like that…” 

And you don’t. You lift and fall harder, faster, panting with effort at how good he feels as he looks into your eyes. Your mouth is gaping open in pleasure and your brows screwing upwards and he stiffens, throwing his head back into the pillow, practically shouting out your name as you feel him spurt inside you, his hips gaining their own autonomy and pushing up into you as he cums and cums inside your heat. 

You coo and praise him as he comes back to himself, pulling you to him to rest your forehead on his, your noses touching, your lips a hair’s breadth away as you breathe into each other.

“Fuck...that was…” He can’t even finish the sentence he’s so fucked out, and he huffs a laugh as you slip off him and collapse to his side. He wraps his arms around you, cradling you into him as if could absorb you into him, like he can’t bear to separate an inch from your warmth and your love. Because that’s what you tried to give him, your love, so he can feel it and know even if you can’t say it yet.

I’m in love with you.

Frankie chugs his drink. The music around him is thrumming to a level that is annoying, the bluish hue of the club seems to be vibrating and pulsating off the walls as it ebbs and flows with the lights. He hates it. 

He’d walked right into it and he’d almost laugh if he wasn’t so irritated. Santiago, Benny, Dali, and you had been trying to talk him and Will to go out dancing for weeks, and after Will had finally given in, Frankie was the last stronghold. Which crumbled the other night when he’d stupidly told you “I owe you one.” God dammit. You sure knew how to capitalize. He wouldn’t forget it again.

But maybe he needs to fucking loosen up. He’s surrounded by his friends, and everyone else is laughing and having a good time. The club is a new find of Santiago’s, finally taking the time to explore the neighborhood of his new place. He supposes it’s nice, an ocean inspired fusion club that he would never step into himself. 

You’ve been gone for some time, so he sweeps his eyes across the long line of the bar to find you. After Santiago and Benny had supplied the first two rounds, you’d demanded the next round was on you. He finally finds you, the shimmer of your champagne colored top reflecting the blue lights to make you look almost bioluminescent as you assert your place in line at the bar, immediately tensing when he sees what’s going on. Two men are talking to you as the bartender prepares the tray with everyone’s orders, and you’re waving your hands around frantically, your mouth opening widely to yell at them over the music. You look uncomfortable.

Motherfuckers. You’re getting hit on, he can see it in the way one of the men moves close to you and has the gall to place his hand on your hip and whisper in your ear. Frankie’s almost halfway across the table when he sees you pushing the stranger back, motioning over to the table and sweeping your arm in a circular motion while shaking your head. He wonders if he should just go over there anyway, but before he can move, the two men back off. The bartender finishes and he moves around the bar to escort you back to your table to serve everyone their drinks.

You scoot into the booth next to Frankie and kiss him on the cheek. “Hey baby.” 

He grunts and tips his head back towards the bar. “What was all that?”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, just some assholes who wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Need us to go beat the shit out of them?” Benny says enthusiastically. Frankie chuckles, pulling you in by the waist tighter to him.

“Nah, I took care of it. They only spoke Spanish but I think I was pretty clear. Might have insinuated to them all of you loved me and were my boyfriends though, to get them to back off.”

Santiago perks up. “All of us? That’s hot. You know I’d be your extra boyfriend any time, Gorgeous.” He wiggles his eyebrows. You laugh and roll your eyes.

Frankie sighs and rubs his face with his palm. “Now you’ve started it.”

“Started what?”

“Frankie never likes to share.” Santiago whines teasingly. 

“Shut the fuck up, I share everything with you guys, just not my girlfriend.”

You make eye contact with Dali, who is struggling not to laugh.

“Well she just said we were all her boyfriends!” Benny chimes in.

“To random men whose attention I don’t want, yea. I only have eyes for my Frankie. But you can all be my platonic boyfriends.” You bat your eyelashes then look over at Dali, making sure she’s okay you are including Will in this. 

Will laughs and slaps Benny in the chest. “We know darlin’, we’re just messin’ with ya.”

“I wasn’t.” Pope grumbles.

“Shutup Pope. Now who’s dancing?!” You look over at Frankie pointedly and he puts his hands up.

“No. Absolutely not. You’re gonna have to ask one of your ‘other boyfriends’.”

You glare at him. “You dance at home with me and Gabi all the time.”

“Yea...but that’s in private.”

Santiago almost trips over himself to get up. “I got you.” 

He grabs your hand and moves to the dance floor, Benny following closely behind yelling, “Fine, but I get next song.”

“Babe, you coming?” Dali turns to Will. 

“Not much of a dancer either Sunshine, you go and have fun with Benny.” She leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek before following the rest of the group.

{Blinding Lights by The Weeknd & Rosalia}

The song shifts to one you’re well familiar with as you weave into the crowd behind Santiago. 

“Ooooo, I love this one!” You’re thrown for a loop for a second when the lyrics come in with a female voice. “Oh nevermind, I haven’t heard this version!” You freeze momentarily until Santiago grabs your wrists, slowly starting to move his hips in a step you’re not familiar with.

“I don’t know how to do this dance!” You yell to him over the blaring music. From the corner of your eye, you can see Dali and Benny are dancing together. Benny is...a terrible dancer, but it loosens you up as you focus on Santiago.

“It’s called bachata!” Santiago yells over the thrum of the bass. “Here I’ll show you.” You patiently watch, swaying with the music as you memorize the footwork, eventually joining him in swirling your hips. He takes your hands, moving faster as you become more comfortable,  and quickly you’re dancing in earnest, twirling around and laughing with him.

Frankie can’t help but smile. It stings a little that he isn’t the one dancing with you, Santiago is an incredibly touchy and flirty person even when he’s not dancing. And when he is...well. But Frankie knows he’s not the best, and he can’t begrudge you having fun with his friends. Dancing with a two and a half year old around his living room alone is completely different than doing it in front of tons of people he doesn’t know, all who dance better than him. Even Benny. But despite all their joking and teasing, he trusts you with his friends.

You’re a quick learner, he knew you would be, and within a minute you are keeping up with Santiago almost effortlessly, pressed hip to hip as you clear a wide berth around you. Frankie laughs as you shriek out happily when Santiago abruptly twirls you too hard and you almost fall over, flinging your arms around his neck and collapsing forward into his chest in laughter. He pulls you closer, hands just skimming your waist as you move together, your hips swirling dramatically in a way that has Frankie adjusting himself in his jeans.

{Heart to Break by Kim Petras}

The song ends and melts into the next and you release Santiago, panting with the exhilaration of dancing with him. You nudge Dali and trade partners, she slips into Santiago’s form much easier than you and you can’t help but become transfixed with the way she moves her body so effortlessly.

Dancing with Benny is, like anything else with him, filled with boundless energy, confidence, and without a care in the world. He dances like a chicken who thinks he’s a swan, not caring how anyone is looking at him or how he looks, and you can’t help but be swept up in it as he pulls you against him, gripping you around your ribs as you move with him. 

You’re singing the lyrics, breathing heavily as you bounce to the chorus, spinning around enough that you see Frankie watching you out of the corner of your eye with a wide grin. You bite your lip as he watches, dancing in front of Benny with his arms hovering over your waist, feeling the music and the lyrics as you sing them.

This song is fucking terrible, Frankie thinks as he watches you, but his music lover’s heart can’t help but hone in on the lyrics you’re lipsyncing from your panting mouth, and he feels his heart twinge in his chest, a tight coil of irrational fear unraveling into a mass much bigger.

Even if it means that I'll never put myself back together

Gonna give you my heart to break

Even if I'll end up in shatters, baby it doesn't matter

Gonna give you my heart to break

I tried to fight, but I can't help it

Don't care if this is my worst mistake

'Cause no one else could do it better

That's why I give you my heart to break

He swallows hard and looks away. Stop. It’s just a song. Just a fucking song, you idiot. 

He turns to Will for distraction. “So things are going good with you and Dali?”

Will nods. “Yea man, I mean, I don’t want to get ahead of myself but...she’s...she’s perfect. Didn’t think there’d be anyone who could deal with my shit.”

“Me either.” 

“You ever scared? That you’ll fuck it up?”

Frankie heaves a sigh. “Constantly. Lately...it’s all I think about.”

Will hums and wipes his fingertips down his goatee, the pounding of the music all but silencing the sound. “The only advice I can offer is what I keep saying to myself. Try not to focus on it, because then you’ll psych yourself out.”

“Yea. Sometimes it seems too good to be true with how well she gets along with everyone, Dali too. Hard to believe I just...am allowed to be this happy.”

{Del Mar by Ozuna, Sia, & Doja Cat}

Will nods, taking a sip of his drink and the two of them look back up to where the rest of the group is. The song had changed without him even noticing. Santiago seems to have taken the opportunity to go to the bar to get more drinks for everyone and you’re chatting in Dali’s ear. As the tempo picks up, she reaches to your hip and draws you up against her, rolling her hips against yours.

You close your eyes and wrap your arms around her neck, sliding your thigh between hers as you gyrate together like ocean waves. You lick your lips and she winks, moving her hips with yours as she suddenly turns around and lightly grinds her ass against you, the scent of her hair blooming deliciously in your nose as you dance together. Your lips are so close to her neck.

“Oh...shit.” Frankie looks back at Will with wide eyes before following his gaze to you and Dali dancing against each other. Benny is staring at you two with an open mouth, eyes sparkling with absolute glee as he points dramatically trying to get his friends’ attention.. Frankie can’t help the way his cock twitches at the way you're dancing with her. Fuck. It’s hot.

“I better go in there and steal my girl back, or Flower’s gonna take her from me.” Will laughs as he stands, pushing into the crowd and meeting you and Dali. He slides his arm around her waist and Frankie sees you all smiling and laughing as he whirls Dali away. You look over at Frankie, motioning him over. He shakes his head, looking away to avoid your sharp gaze but you roll your eyes and exit the floor, swaying your hips as you approach the table.

“You’re dancing with me. Come on.” You order, grabbing Frankie’s hand and pulling him as you move to the beat, dragging him behind you into the crowd. You swing him by your arm so he’s in front of you, wrapping your arms around his neck as you begin moving your hips to the music again.

He clears his throat, affected by the way you’re moving against him. “I’m - not a good dancer.”

You giggle. “I don’t care. You’re my man and I want to dance with you.” You grab his hips and move him in time with you. Despite his protestations, he does catch the rhythm quickly and he pulls you closer, his hands resting on the small of your back right above your ass.

He hums, comforted by your words. “What was that with you and Dali.” 

You shrug. “Just dancing.”

‘I hope you don’t dance with anyone else like that.”

You push back on his chest a little, an incredulous look on your face. “Cat...are you jealous?”

“No!” He shoots back, a little too forcefully to be believed. He grimaces at the Freudian slip.

“Awwwww Cat...” You coo. “Is that what’s been going on with you lately? Why you’re all needy lately?”

“I’m not needy.” He huffs. “I just...well, alright fine. You just looked into her.” He pulls you closer, allowing you to feel his possessiveness in both his arms and between his legs.

“Frankie.” You soothe, wrapping your arms back around his neck and looking in his eyes. “She’s hot, but she’s my friend, nothing more. We were just dancing.”

“Do you...like women?” He asks.

“I do. But I only want you. I don’t want you doubting it any more. Please.” You can feel his heavy shudder of breath, hopefully a release of relief as he tilts your chin up for a kiss.

“All the people in the world to choose from then, and you pick me.” 

“Yea. I pick you. You’re mine. And I’m yours. Okay?”

“Okay.”

You kiss him again and deepen it, sliding your tongue into his mouth to tangle with his own. You feel him moan and you swallow it down, only breaking the kiss and turning in his arms, rubbing back against him as the song swells in it’s climax. You can feel him against your ass, hard and insistent, as well as the warmth gathering in your belly as you continue to grind against him, the jut of his stupid belt buckle against the small of your back somehow only making your lust build more.

I love the way that you smile

I love the way that you smell

I love the faces you make when you storytell

I love the way that you are

I love the things that you do

The things that you do when you think I ain't watchin' you

“I have to admit watching you and Dali was fucking sexy.” He rumbles in your ear with a groan as you press against him more. 

“MMmmmm yea? I knew you were watching. Will came running.” You giggle.

He places his hands on your hips and pulls you right up against him, you’re curved over and practically humping each other on the floor instead of dancing at this point. “Trying to make me jealous? You better stop.”

“Or what.” You tease, bending forward a bit to really give it to him, following the course as the song melds into a new one with higher tempo. 

{Physical by Dua Lipa}

“Fuck.” He growls. “Or this.” He grabs your wrist and tugs you off the dance floor quickly, shifting through the crowd until he reaches the bathroom hallway where he pushes you up against it and crashes into your mouth. He wedges his thigh in between yours and you wriggle against him, moaning at the friction against where you’re already wet for him. “Or I will fuck you right here in this club.”

He pulls away and stares at you, his forearms caging you against the wall. You stare right back, quirking your lips as you slowly, deliberately, start grinding yourself against his thigh, moaning lewdly and loudly in full view of anyone who were to walk down the hallway.

“Jesus….yea? You want me to fuck you here?” You whine at his tone, biting your lip and nodding, and he wastes no time in taking you to one of the one-person bathroom doors, tugging on it and cursing when he finds it locked and in use. You can only laugh at his growing frustration as he tries the second one, also locked, before he curses in Spanish and pulls you out the backdoor, through the club patio to the parking lot.

“Frankie!” You gasp breathlessly, “Where are we going?” 

He doesn’t answer, looking around and spotting a rectangular curling staircase jutting out of the back of the building next to the club, and he tugs you to it and pulls you into the shelter of the structure, gently pushing you back against the brick wall and kissing you ravenously. It’s drizzling very lightly, but you don’t care as you thrust your tongue into his mouth and resume rubbing against his front in desperation.

“What is it with you and doing it in public?” You laugh, inhaling sharply as he roughly flips you around so you're facing the wall and pulling your mini skirt up over your hips. You brace your palms against the side of the building, looking to see if you could be visible from behind the staircase to anyone that were to come out onto the club patio. You weren’t.

“I dunno.” He gruffs as he pulls your thong to the side and trails his finger through your pussy. “I think - fuck baby, you’re so wet - I think you just drive me crazy.” He crowds you up against the wall more as he pushes two fingers deep inside you, curling them against the spot that he knows drives you wild, slipping two fingers of his other hand into your mouth to keep you quiet. You whimper against his fingers, twirling your tongue around the digits as he continues pumping his other fingers inside of your heat.

“Gotta be quiet for me baby. Can you do that? Be a good girl and keep quiet? Don’t want anyone to catch us.” You feel like you might faint, your knees buckling as he pulls his fingers out of you, but he steadies you with his hands on your hips as he kneels, he fucking kneels on the wet pavement, pulls your panties to the side and absolutely buries his face in your pussy.

“Oh fuck!” You cry, yelping once more as he gently swats you on your ass as he nuzzles his face into your folds. “Sorry….” You whimper.

He pulls away. “If you aren’t good, I’ll stop.”

“No! I’ll be quiet! Please don’t stop!” You whisper, wiggling your hips back as you lean forward against the wall, desperately seeking his mouth. He chuckles darkly and pats you on the ass a few more times, each stinging a bit more before pulling you back to his mouth, lathing his tongue back and forth and around your entire slit, his hooked nose practically entering you as he pushes harder into you. He’s moaning against you, the sound is vibrating and joining the pounding rhythm that can still be heard outside the club. He takes one hand off your hips and wraps his arm around you as he all but pinches your clit over and over until you're quivering right on the edge, whimpering his name softly and he pulls away. That asshole pulls away from you completely and you almost sob at the loss, pressing your face on your hands against the wet brick wall.

“No….please…” You mewl. 

You can hear him fiddling with his buckle and you perk up, pushing your ass at him as you feel him drop his pants, the fabric of them ghosting across your thighs as they fall to the ground. He pulls back and pushes on your back so you’re angled more for him and starts rubbing his cock along your sopping wet pussy. You try to push against him but he holds you tight.

“I wanna hear you say it again.”

“Wha?” You’re barely present, your mind is barely functioning beyond the ability to form any speech, all you know is you need him, and you need him now. Nothing else matters. Not the rain, not if you get caught, not even if he’d wanted to fuck you right in the club.

“Tell me again...that you’re mine.” He snarls, pushing forward just enough for the head of his cock to enter you. 

“Oh fuckkkk. I’m yours. Cat - I’m yours please I’m yours please just fuck me.”

He pulls you up against his chest, tilting your head to the side as he kisses you sloppily, your tongues molding together as much as they can at this angle. It’s messy and the kiss barely lands, but you hardly care because that is when he enters you, and you cry out against his mouth before falling back forward to the wall for support as he starts a brutal pace.

He’s practically pummeling into you and you’re doing everything you can not to collapse or make too much noise, but the sound of his cock entering you sounds like it’s bouncing off all the buildings, and you can’t help but moan at the vulgarity of it.

“Fuck baby...shit.” He grunts as he reaches up and pulls the top of your dress down to expose your tits, your nipples hardening in the wet air as he reaches to pinch and pull at them with one hand. You’re about to cum, you’re literally about to cum when suddenly you hear the click of the door lever from somewhere outside of your consciousness and Frankie slams to a halt.

“Fish?” It’s Santiago. Fuck it’s always Santiago isn’t it, but instead of stopping and waiting, Frankie starts moving again, quietly sliding you up and down his cock as you press your mouth over the crook of your elbow. You know he’s smirking, you just fucking know it, almost daring you to blow your cover.

You hear the door click again. “They out here?” Will. 

“No. I don’t think so. Maybe they went out front.” You hear the door click a final time, not daring to uncover your mouth until the silence permeates the back of the buildings again and Frankie starts picking up his pace once more, his belt buckle rattling and his harsh pants tickling the back of your neck.

“Almost got caught there,” He whispers, “But you were a good girl, huh? So quiet. So good for me. Don’t want them to see you right? See me fucking you like this?” He’s rambling at this point and you’re too far gone to care what he’s saying, it just feels good and hot and so fucking dirty, the way he can pull things out of you that you didn’t even know where there. “You like this? Me fucking you in the fucking street honey?”

You keen and tense, your thighs trembling as his own thumps against them, the pressure he pulled you from building and building again until you’re back on that edge, your quiet whimpers reduced to sharp, quick, haggard pants. He feels you’re close and returns his hand to your clit, pinching and circling it a few more times as you slap your hand on the brick wall.

“One more time baby. Come on. Tell me again.”

You keen sharply, gasping out in delirium whatever he needs to hear. “I’m - I’m yours.

“Whose pussy is this?”

“Fuck - FUCK! It’s yours!” You cry, jolting up a little as you cum, your juices swelling around him as you shudder in his arms.

“That’s it baby, that’s it, cum on me. Cum around my cock in the street you filthy fucking girl. Jesus, fuck you’re so fucking tight.” He groans as you sag back into him a bit, your arms sliding down the wet wall. He wraps his arms around you, one at your sternum and one around your hips as he supports you through the afterwaves of your orgasm, mouthing and nibbling at your shoulder in what you know will make a mark. 

You can feel he’s losing his rhythm, his breaths coming out now in whimpers of his own, and you turn your head as much as you can with the way he’s holding you. “Cat...cum for me. Cum for me baby.” He gasps, pounding into you faster and faster, irregular and disjointed, and right as he tenses, right as you know he’s about to cum, you reach back and grab the hairs on the nape of his neck, pulling gently. “Cum in me and I’ll leave it there and walk around with you dripping from me.”

He cries out, shooting his frame up and thrusting into you three, four more times as you feel him bursting inside you, rope after rope of his cum inside your walls. You moan at the sensation, he shudders and drops his head back on your shoulder, gripping your hip hard as you both regain your breath together.

Everything filters back to your senses slowly. The feeling of Frankie’s tummy inhaling and exhaling against your back, the sound of the soft rain drizzling around you, the faint rhythm of whatever is playing in the club, cars rolling over the pavement in the street beyond, and Frankie murmuring sweet gibberish against you as you shift.

He pulls out of you, you can feel your mingled cum sliding down your inner thighs. You know he’s looking and he hums in pleasure at the sight. You pull your top back up to cover your chest, leaning back against him as he fixes your underwear and shifts your skirt back over your hips. 

“Babe.” He giggles. He actually giggles and you can’t help but laugh too at the absurdness of your commingled lust. “I gotta pull my pants up but I can’t with you falling over on me.”

You’re cackling hysterically now, turning around and leaning against the cold brick as Frankie pulls up his boxer and jeans, reassembling his belt in between gasping laughter. 

“We’re fucking ridiculous, this is ridiculous!” He smothers your laugh with a kiss, the curves of your lips still in a smile as you separate and continue to giggle against each other's parted mouths.

“Yea we fucking are...but we better get inside before they come out here and it gets even more ridiculous.” You nod and peck him a few more short kisses before checking each other one more time and slinking to the back door of the club.

{Hillside Boys by Kim Petras}

“Where the fuck have you been?” Santiago snaps as you rejoin the group at the table. “We were worried you all got mugged or something!”

“Uhhh bathroom.”

“Truck. Went to get something from my truck.” You both say at the same time, not slick at all.

“Why are you both all wet?” Dali interjects, smirking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Uhhhhhh.”

“Alright, we were fucking, okay? Let's just go dance.” Frankie grabs your hand and pulls you back out to the dance floor, and the rest follow, laughing and catcalling as you go. You stick your tongue out at them as Frankie pulls you to him again, moving much more comfortably then before. The song switches again and you back up, getting the okay from Dali before grabbing Will’s hands and dancing with him. You can barely hear each other chattering to one another as the music continues to blare, but you don’t care. You’re happy, you’re surrounded by your best friends and your man. You turn away from Will and wrap your arms around Frankie’s waist, smiling up at him.

“You’re mine too.” You mouth.

He wants to say more. He wants to say, I’m fucking falling in love with you, you perfect, perfect girl, but something stops him, it’s not the right time, not the right place. But he feels secure enough to know now, soon. So for now, instead, he says: “I’m yours, and you’re mine.”

Chapter 9

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[simpforhoon]

just you. (p.js) *ೃ༄

pairing: soft dom! jay × female reader

genre: smut, fluff, soulmate au! kind of angsty it has a happy ending I swear (praise, making out, protected sex, oral (f-receiving)).

summary: in a world where everyone gets the name of their soulmate tattooed on their wrists when they turn 18, finding out your best friend is your soulmate was not how you planned your 18th birthday to go. now, what’s so bad about that you might ask? you see, jay despises the thought of soulmates. but maybe he doesn’t despise them so much when it comes to you.

please note, this work is purely that of fiction. and not meant to represent what the enhypen members are like in real life.

A/N: guys no why am I so soft,, anyway I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now, so I hope you enjoy!! and I'm reposting this now, as this didnt get a lot of notes on my old account cause of all the reporting and stuff!

word count: 3.4k

warnings: mentions of heartbreak, crying, mentions of food.

1 week ago

you bit your nails as you paced up and down your room, a nervous habit you’d picked up in your junior year of high school whilst dealing with the tremendous stress and pressure school put on you. well lucky for you, you had graduated now and your 18th birthday was just around the corner. specifically, exactly a week from now.

your best friend jay sat on your bed staring at you with amusement written all over his face as he quietly observed you, before moving up to stop you and pull your hands away from your face. “you’re going to wear yourself out” he mumbled softly, pulling you to sit next to him and rubbing your shoulder in a comforting manner.

“I know I know, I’m just nervous, what if they’re all the way on the other side of the world? or even worse, what if they’re someone I know??” the panicked expression on your face was seemingly too much for jay to handle as before you knew it, he had almost rolled off your bed, laughing his ass off at you.

you see, your “dearest” best friend jay never believed in soulmates. he himself never actually got a name on his wrist, a sign that his soulmate had not reached the age to get theirs. to say he was ecstatic would be an understatement as he was at a party that very night, hooking up with a random girl before going over to your house the next morning with a massive hangover and a sullen expression.

it hurt you to see him that way, hooking up with random people, praying that he wouldnt run into his soulmate. and it hurt even more when you thought of how his soulmate was probably so excited to meet him even if they didn’t know him yet.

if only you knew where you would be a week later, wishing it was you who never met him.

present day

the time on your phone read 11:57, and jay had shown up to your house at exactly 11:30, punctual as always, giving up his usual saturday night parties to spend the night before your special day with you instead. he held your hand in his, one thumb running up and down the expanse of your knuckles soothingly, the only thing grounding you in the tense moments before what was basically the biggest moment of your life. your eyes never met his once, only flickering from the clock to your wrist every few seconds, almost as if it would appear before time if you stared long enough.

12:00 a.m.

it was almost as if everything stopped in that moment as the words appeared on your skin. the crickets stopped chirping, that one car alarm outsode your house stopped beeping and both you and Jay stopped breathing, even if it was just for a few seconds. one by one, letter by letter, black ink slowly trailed up the soft skin on your clean wrist, marking your skin for the rest of eternity. you watched with bated breath as tbe letters curved their way into your skin, into your soul.

“P-A-R-K” looks like your soulmate would have the same last name as your best friend. “J-O-N-” that was when the realisation of what was about to happen dawned upon you. “no, no, no, no” was all you could think. “this wasn’t supposed to happen”

meeting jay’s eyes for a split second, you could see the shock on his face, the same shock you knew was written all over your face at that very moment. yanking your hand out of his warmer one, you stared at the 2 words displayed on your wrist. “park jongseong” you whispered as a one lone tear ran down your cheek, falling to you chin before disappearing into the soft material of your sweater.

this prompted jay to push up his own sleeve, the words that seem to have appeared on his wrist confirmed what you both already knew by that point. jay park, your best friend since you were 5, your rock, your everything, was your soulmate. if the situation were anything but this, you would have been jumping for joy, ecstatic that your soulmate was the man you’d grown up with your whole life. but unfortunately, that was not the case.

“_______” he whispered, voice hoarse as he held your hand in his again. gripping it tightly this time so you wouldn’t be able to let go this time. not that you wanted to anyway. “jay” you whispered back, attempting to smile at him, despite the tears that were threatening to overflow at any moment. “I-I need time to think” he said, so softly, his eyes full of nothing but remorse. “I understand jay, take your time, don’t rush okay?” you replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance. he wistfully smiled at you one last time as he pushed himself off your bed and walked out of your bedroom, closing the door with a small ‘click’, leaving you alone in the darkness of your room, mind racing and wondering what were you were going to do with this newfound information.

you fell asleep after much tossing and turning, your mind full of nothing but jay and his name that was now tattooed into the inside of your wrist. you were woken up by the bright smile of your parents, you mother holding a plate of pancakes and wishing you a happy birthday. the sight alone was enough to make you burst into tears as you wrapped your arms around her, seeking her familiar scent and comfort after the rough night you had. your parents seemed shocked, but did not press you to open up, wrapping their arms around you as they attempted to comfort you.

your mom was no foolish woman, as she seems to have caught on to what was bothering you on your special day. “its about your soulmate isn’t it?” she asked as she placed a glass of your favourite chocolate smoothie in front of you, wiping her hands on her apron. you looked up at her, disbelief written all over your face as she chuckled at you. “how did you know?” you asked as she smiled slyly at you. “I have my ways, and besides, I’m your mother” she replied with a wink. you groaned, dramatically resting your head on the counter as she laughed and gave in. “I saw jay walk out of your room last night with tears streaming down his face, and considering you woke up crying too, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what went down there”.

“you should talk it out with him sweetie, he’s not just your soulmate, he’s your best friend. despite how he feels about this whole fate thing, I’m sure the both of you will be okay.” her words reassured you as you grabbed your backpack, and walked through your front door. not even 2 minutes later you heard the biggest scream and you were tackled into a hug. giggling, you wrapped your arms around the taller boy as he squeezed you tightly. “happy birthday ______!” he said as he let go of you and continued your walk to school. “thanks sunoo” you said, smiling at the younger boy who had the biggest grin on his face.

“soooooo” he began, looking at you with an expectant expression on his face. you pursed your lips, already predicting the question that was due to escape his mouth any second from now. “jay” you said, cutting him off before he could even open his mouth. “JAY?!?!!?” he said, a little too loudly, mouth agape as he processed the information. you shrugged as he linked his arm with yours, understanding that you didnt want to talk about it.

luckily, no one pressed you about your soulmate for the rest of the day, warded off by sunoo’s glare the moment they looked like they were going to ask. you sat next to jay in all your classes, the atmosphere tense and awkward between the two of you. everyone seemed to have figured our what happened by that alone, your normally boisterous voices muted and soft. you went out after school with sunoo and riki, your mood heightened by the laughs and jokes of the two bickering boys.

when you got home, the house was eerily quiet, your parents nowhere in sight, all the lights turned off save the one in your living room. and there on the sleek grey sofa sat Jay, looking down at his hands as he anxiously played around with the rings he always wore. your footsteps alerted him of your presence, as he shot up off your sofa to greet you with a crooked smile on his face, black hair sticking up in every direction.

you smiled at him, already preparing yourself for the worst, as he walked towards you. “your parents have gone out, they handed me the keys and told me to come and talk to you if I wanted, and-” he cut himself off in the middle of his sentence, taking a deep breath and holding your hand. here goes nothing he thought. “I want to try. this whole soulmate thing I mean. maybe i wouldnt be this way if it was anyone else, but it’s you, my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you.” he mumbled out the last part, but it was still clear enough for you to hear. you couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face at his words, his own face breaking out into a grin at your expression. you reached up on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck as his hands went around your waist.

he buried his face in your hair, your soft vanilla scent calming his racing heart, and that was when he realised how much you really meant to him. he loved when you would always being him snacks after soccer practice, he loved when you let him lay his head on your lap and you ran your hands through his hair, he loved seeing the expressions you made when you ate his food, he loved you.

“I made something for you” he said, pulling away from your embrace, leading you to your kitchen and making you sit down on the counter. he grabbed a plate of your favourite pasta and a fork before lifting up a mouthful and holding it out to feed it to you. you smiled, wrapping your lips around the fork as the flavours exploded in your mouth. “oh my gosh, this is good, you’ve really outdone yourself.” he smiled at the complement before pressing a kiss to your cheek and muttering a little “happy birthday love”, leaving your face feeling hot and an uncontrollable smile on your face.

the rest of the evening went by in hin feeding you food and taking a few notes of it himself, lots of little cheek kisses, before the two of you settled down on the couch to watch a movie. it seemed like jay had gotten over his awkwardness as he pulled you to sit between his legs the moment the movie started. you looked back at him in shock, wondering when he got so bold before he pressed a kiss to your lips and told you to focus on the screen.

it might not have been the perfect first kiss, but it was with jay and that was enough. he played with your hair throughout the movie, and moved it aside at one point, pressing little kisses along the expanse of your neck. it was when he landed his lips on one particular spot that you let out a little noise, one you never even knew you could make that made him sit up a little straighter.

it was almost as if a switch flipped within him as he tightened his grip around your waist, one hand slipping up your hoodie to caress the skin near your waist. “I didn’t know you could make such pretty noises baby” he whispered in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “well i didn’t know i could either” you whispered back, the realisation of what was about to happen making your body feel like it was on fire.

“are you sure you want this? we don’t have to do anything you dont want to sweetheart” he said, pulling away with a kiss to your cheek. you shifted so that you were facing him, legs wrapped around his waist and you reached your hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m sure jay, theres no one I’d rather do this with than you.” that was all the affirmation he needed, as within seconds you were being dragged to your bedroom by an overexcited jay.

he pressed you up against your room door, hands coming up to lift your thighs and wrap them around his waist, your core meeting his very obvious bulge. taking advantage of the gasp that left you, he allowed his tongue to skip into your mouth, taking control of every aspect of the kiss. pulling away, he brought you to your bed, gently letting you down onto the mattress, and reaching up to pull your hoodie off you.

“so beautiful” he whispered as he reached behind you to pull your bra off, before lifting his own arms to pull his own shirt off, leaving his body on display for you. just for you. he reached down to tug one of your nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and wrapping his tongue around the sensitive bud, his actions leaving your mouth open in a silent moan.

within minutes, both of you were left completely naked as jay continued to trail his lips down your body, pressing little kisses to your inner thigh before his mouth finally met your core, the smallest motion of his lips leaving you breathless and squirming. “stay still sweetheart, good girls don’t move around so much”. his words sent vibrations spreading throughout your body, not doing anything to help with the heat that was coursing through your veins.

his tongue delved in and out of your dripping hole, one of his hands rubbing your clit while the other held your legs open for him. “jay- i- I’m gonna-” but he was gone the moment the words fell from your mouth. and he was a sight to see. your juices mixed with his, drool and spit dripped down his chin, as he ran his tongue over his lips with a smirk on his face.

“oh so the baby wants to cum? don’t worry love, I’m going to make you feel so good”. he reached into his jacket and pulled out a condom before rolling it on and lining himself I with your entrance. he grasped your chin gently, pulling you up to look at him and planting a loving kiss on your lips. “I love you so much sweetheart, so so much” he whispered, pulling away from your lips. “I love you too jay” you said back, watching as he smiled once, before intertwining your hands and then, pushing himself into you.

nothing had ever felt as good in that moment as he gently, softly pushed himself inside. the feeling was euphoric, having your soulmate inside you in such an intimate manner. your bodies moulding together perfectly, bursts of colour lighting up the back of your eyelids as your eyes closed at the feeling of him in you. he began thrusting in and out of you slowly, not wanting to hurt you. but at your signal, he began moving faster, groans and moans escaping both your lips, finding pleasure and love in each other.

it didn’t take long for you to reach your high at all, his length hitting you in all the right places, leading you to ride out your high much faster than you expected, jay following soon after. he finished inside the condom, reaching out to pull it off and throw it away, before walking to your bathroom and grabbing a wet cloth to clean you up with.

he was greeted with the sight of your tired smile as he returned, gently cleaning you before tossing the rag and gathering you up in his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “does this mean you’re mine now?” he asked, reaching down to bury his head in your hair, his hands absent-mindedly tracing shapes and figures on your bare shoulder. “it does if it means you’re mine too”. he smiled at your response, pulling the blanket over the two of you as you drifted off to sleep in the arms of the one person who would stay with you forever.

thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you drank enough water today! ♡♡♡

[pies-writes-and-more]

the first time saying I love you

Warnings: nothing! Maybe some swearing but all fluff!

Characters: Daichi Sawamura, Bokuto Kotaro, and Ushijima Wakatoshi all with a Fem!Reader

A/N: I know I have some requests and other WIPs I should be working on but I was having a bit of trouble finding some inspo so I thought maybe this would help haha. Hope you enjoy! I might make more parts with other characters :)

p. 2 

Daichi Sawamura Who says it first: You

“You’re going to do great! I love you! Good luck!” With those words, you ran out of the gym and made your way up to the stands, perching yourself over the edge with the rest of the Karasuno fans. You glanced down at the court to make sure you had a good view, trying to give a smile to your boyfriend.

It was odd though, Daichi hadn’t moved. It was like he was frozen in the spot you left him. His body seemed stiff and his feet were glued to the floor.

The Karasuno team all looked up at you with wide eyes, even Kiyoka staring up at you in surprise, most of their jaws open. You tilted your head in confusion - did something happen while you came up to the seats? Was it something you said-

Oh.

Daichi turned and looked up at you with wide eyes. His lips parted but there wasn’t a sound coming out. What was that look in his eyes? Was it… panic? Annoyance? Were you not supposed to say that?

You could feel your insecurities rising up in you - how stupid were you? The two of you had only been going out for a few months now! How could you say something so carelessly?

But it hadn’t felt careless. In fact it almost felt… effortless. You did love him. You’d known this for a while now, even if you had avoided voicing it. Ever since he met your parents and was the sweetest guest ever - they loved him. You loved him. And now those words were in the air for him to decide what to do with.

“Y-You love me?” He managed to get out after a while. You wanted nothing more than to sink back into a chair and hide. This wasn’t the time. This was an official match. Daichi had to focus, how was he supposed to focus if he was going to break up with you right now- “I love you too!” He declared loudly, a smile growing from his lips to his eyes. 

Your eyes widened and blinked at him, feeling the genuineness of his words. “I love you, Y/N!” He repeated, giving a firm nod. “And we’ll win this match for you! Promise!” He assured you, Sugawara and Asahi coming up behind him and clapping him on his shoulders, both of them sending you a thumbs up.

“We love you too, Y/N!” Sugawara grinned and Daichi smacked his head playfully. “What! She’s nice to Asahi when we’re not, and she bakes me food,” Sugawara smirked sending you another cheeky grin that makes you laugh. Asahi just chuckled, but nodded in agreement. The four of you had gotten close even before Daichi and you had started going out and their bond was something you always loved seeing in action.

“Shut up,” Daichi grumbled to his friend but shot another look at you, as if memorizing this moment before going out and getting ready for the game. He had never broken a promise to you, and he wasn’t going to start with this one.

Bokuto Kotaro Who says it first: Him

“Are those for me?” Bokuto gaped as you walked into the gym, his jaw practically on the floor seeing the container of sweets in your hands.

“Well they’re for everyone really,” you laughed, admiring the sweet smile on your boyfriend’s face, “but you can have the first pick just cause you’re cute.”

Bokuto was drooling already - he loved it when you made him any kind of food. He grabbed the container from you, peppering your face with kisses as he attempted to get it open.

“Akaashi! Look! Y/N baked us some treats!” Bokuto called, waving his best friend over. “It’s no wonder I love you, you always make the best food!” He grinned over at you, shoving the first sweet he could grab into his mouth.

He hadn’t even swallowed before noticing the look on your face, eyes wide like you were a deer in headlights, “Sumfin’ wron’?” He asked you through brownie crumbs. He turned to Akaashi who had slowed down making his way over upon hearing his friend’s words, but he only offered a raised eyebrow in return. “What?” Bokuto asked confused.

“Bokuto, you idiot,” Akaashi shook his head in disappointment. “I don’t think that’s how you’re meant to say that kind of stuff. Isn’t it supposed to be more... private?”

Bokuto frowned a little, thinking back to his last words, “That she makes good food? But it’s true-” And there it was. Bokuto’s whole body froze in realization, turning to you with eyes as wide as an owl. “Y/N-” he started nervously.

“It’s okay!” You offered a grin, rubbing the back of your head nervously, “You can take it back if you want to! I’ll pretend like I didn’t hear it!”

Akaashi’s fingers slipped the container out of Bokuto’s hands quickly, sneaking away to give you guys some privacy while also trying to get the rest of the team some food before Bokuto ate it all.

“Take it back?” Bokuto thought it over for a moment before shaking his head, “Would you want me to take it back?”

You shifted nervously, “I mean I wouldn’t ever want you to say something you didn’t mean.”

Bokuto laughed, a sound that surprised you but also put your nerves at ease, “Why wouldn’t I mean it?” He grinned at you, hands on his hips. “I’ve loved you since we met, Y/N. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that I’d want to be with you forever.” He beamed proudly, smiling down at you. That smile froze for a moment, his eyes widening again, “Unless… you don’t feel the same…” Somehow it seemed like his hair drooped and you could see the signs of sad!Bokuto coming on.

“Of course I feel the same,” you insisted quickly, your face feeling hot. “I… I just didn’t think we’d have this moment in front of your teammates,” you whispered playfully, laughing a little.

Bokuto glanced at his team who were eagerly eating the snacks and watching the show in front of them: starring you two.

“Oi! Go eat somewhere else! I’ve got to finish declaring my love to the most wonderful human in the world!” Bokuto ordered before turning back to you with a smile while Akaashi shoved the rest of the team out the door (much to their protest). “I’m sorry for... not making it more intimate.” He apologized with a light chuckle, “I’ll make it up to you though!”

You shook your head with a smile, reaching up and pressing a kiss to his nose, “As long as you mean it, I don’t care where you say it.”

Bokuto smiled and scooped you up into a huge hug, pressing his lips to your ear before murmuring, “I love you, Y/N. I love you. I love you. I love you,” he chated softly, “I’ll love you forever, every single day of my life.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi Who says it first: Him

Ushijima never really cared for interviews but he knew that his team being as good as they were warranted some media attention. But what he hated most about it was their constant need to know everything about him.

“What’s your favourite food? What a line that makes your team really inspired? What kind of workout routine do you follow? What’re your plans for after this tournament?”

Most of the time he would grunt a short answer or excuse himself and let someone else answer, but this time around, it didn’t seem like Tendō was going to be able to save him.

“Who was that girl you were talking to before the game? Is that your girlfriend? What’s it like for her knowing her boyfriend is being watched as a top player in all of Japan?”

Ushijima wondered why they didn’t ask you that question - what was he supposed to know about how you thought about it? At that thought, Ushijima decided not to run away from this interview. He didn’t want you to feel forced into explaining your feelings and knew that he had grown accustomed to all the questions and reporters - you might not have.

“She is my girlfriend, yes.” Ushijima stated flatly, his eyes subconsciously glancing in your direction. Tendō was saying something about the other team and making you laugh with this snarky and playful songs. A gentleness grew in Ushijima’s eyes, just watching you. It was subtle but later when you watched the recorded interview online, you’d be able to catch it. Your heart would flutter a little, wondering if he was really looking at you at the time. “I don’t want to speak for her feelings, but she’s always very proud of the team and our performance.”

“How long have you two been together?”

“Almost 2 years now.”

“Must be young love then,” the reporter had grinned, nodding to themselves in satisfaction.

There were a few more questions but Ushijima’s mind had practically left the interview already. He thought about what the reporter said, calling it young love. He had heard his mother describe her feelings towards his father like that. It had been young love.

But was that how young love ended? Was it always a crash and burn that ended in his mom’s quiet cries when she thought he couldn’t hear?

Ushijima’s mind filled with worry, something he hadn’t felt in a long time. There was a pit of nerves that sat in his chest, refusing to move. What was there to be done to stop the crash of a young love?

You came over as he hydrated himself off to the side, the reporters finally leaving him alone, “They really want to know everything about you huh?” You laughed, smiling up at him and giving his arm a quick squeeze. “You should take some time to stretch out.”

Ushijima nodded but stood there for a moment longer, looking down at you, “I love you, Y/N.”

It was blunt but the look in his eyes said everything else. You stared at him in surprise. 2 years it had been and those words hadn’t left his lips before. It hadn’t really worried you - Ushijima was extremely loyal and even if you were worried, he was usually always busy with volleyball so it wasn’t like there was even time for him to find someone else. You often thought it was because of how things went with his parents that he took things slow… but why now?

“Do you not feel the same?” He asked after a moment, a small crease in his forehead.

You quickly shook your head, grinning up at him, “Of course I do! I just… I didn’t expect you to say it.”

Ushijima’s forehead creased further - had he not said it before? Didn’t she know?

Maybe this was what Tendō had talked about before. You’re a real quiet dude, Ushijima. I wonder if Y/N tries to figure out what’s going on in that head of yours like the rest of us. But you know, relationships have to have some sort of communication… you do tell her things don’t you?

At the time, Ushijima had thought Tendō was talking about normal things. Of course he told you about how volleyball was going, how he was struggling to keep his mind at school and not on the court, what kind of food he was craving, things like that. But… could Tendō have been talking about feelings?

“It’s okay,” you quickly interjected, giving him a smile, “I didn’t expect you to say it sooner or anything. The thing I love about you is that you always say what you mean, so I figured you just weren’t ready yet.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time, Y/N,” Ushijima commented softly, reaching his hand up and gently caressing your cheek. “I’m sorry I never said it. But I’ve always felt it.”

You could feel your face go hot in his hand, moving into it just a little more, “I’ve always loved you too, Ushijima,” you whispered to him gently. A small smile tugged at his lips and he pressed a kiss to your forehead before taking your advice and starting to stretch out his limbs.

After that, he started saying it a little more often. Communication seemed to be important to a relationship, this he understood. So if that’s what was needed, he would do it. This young love wouldn’t crash, he’d make sure of it.

** ** ** ** **

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[dreamrecorder]

Three - Family in the Inn

Zhongli witnesses the love Xiao deserves.

Two

A bit heavy at the end- i teared up at some point ksks ill add the cut thingy when get my laptop

Starting from the earliest memory your mind can remember, you've already heard stories of the god that ruled over your home land. From your mother, your father, from the merchants and adventurers resting within the inn. You often heard how the Geo Archon would always fly above the lands, overseeing the safety of Liyue- in the form of a great and majestic serpentine dragon. To protect the land, the Archon will not hesitate to strike down his foes with his spears made of stone! Spears that were huge as mountains and can shake the very core of the earth! A fierce god he is, but to his people, the Archon is just and kind. For he has guided Liyue for a thousand years even before Liyue was founded.

Those stories always left you in awe, your mind conjuring up imaginations of a mighty dragon soaring up high in the sky!

~

"Bai, I can't sleep…" You whined loudly to your black cat with gold eyes and a white diamond spot on its forehead. But alas, the cat can't understand you, simply giving you a somewhat dismissive meow. You puted at its direction. It was always like this if your brother wasn't able to tuck you to bed. Without his voice lulling you to sleep, right now you're vibrating energy.

"I wanna play…" You mumbled but then an idea popped up. With some effort, you hopped off your bed and went to the door. A bit of a struggle because of your height, but you manage to reach the doorknob and get out of your bedroom to the lobby. Bai was following close by.

With quiet footsteps, you went to the balcony and called in a whisper of excited glee-

"Thousand Winds?"

Just by those two words alone, the breeze picked up and your ears were then filled by the joyful voices of the wind. To emphasize that happiness, you were carefully lifted up from the ground and twirled you a bit, leaving you in a fit of giggles.

When the wind calmed down, they asked, The Little Wind calls! What is it do you want little kin?

"I wanna play!"

And play they did without a care for the world. Usually these wind spirits were careful when their brother Demon Wind is around- but with him gone for now, these spirits have different ideas. Little Wind do you want to fly like us?

You didn't even miss a second to say yes. After all, you've always dreamed of flying! Just like the stories you heard about your Archon flying up high in the sky!

!!!

"If I can fly, I might get to see Rex Lapis! Please please pleaaaase Thousand Winds, I wanna fly!"

The wind spirits cheered in delight, their whispers growing louder by the second. The breeze grew stronger and stronger around you and soon enough you were lifted off the ground as anemogranas surrounded you. You'll get to fly! How exciting!

At that age, you were unaware of the dangers that lie ahead- all too buried in that naivety and innocence that children possess. 

Rather than flying- it was more like gliding. Of course the wind spirits had some sense not to put you in harm's way! Flying requires some force to make you go higher- as for gliding, a gentle breeze simply does the trick.

It was a slow descent and you were amazed all throughout! You could see the entire Dihua Marsh along the ruins that littered around! You were amazed how the stars and the moon seemed brighter and closer now that you're up in the sky! The feeling of the rushing wind on your skin! It was cold but you didn't care! 

Every now and then, the spirits would suddenly nudge you up higher, rewarding them with your joyous scream and laughter. 

You landed softly at the concrete ground, near a statue. Curious, you noted that the statue was of a man sitting on a throne. This was the first time you've seen this statue but you could feel something from it. Geo? And the statue's hooded eyes, you felt like you were being watched through them.

This, Little Wind, is the statue of the Geo Archon.

The wind whispered with respect but you- you were puzzled.

"I thought the Geo Archon is a dragon? Can he turn into a human, like me?"

You could hear the wind laugh gently, the breeze ruffling your hair. Suddenly, the wind sounded older, wiser. A story for another time, little one. It's about time you went back home.

Again you whined, but the spirits promised you flight and that's all what you needed to be convinced. The spirits and the anemogranas alike were about to lift you- but a voice stopped your tracks.

"Yo kid! You seem lost!" The voice was heavy and gruff.

You turned around to the voice's direction and you were greeted by a burly man who wore a staw hat and some kind of black cloth wrapped around his neck.

"I'm not lost, sir." You replied politely, slowly taking a step back. You noticed how the air stilled. Tense. But of course, the man is not convinced. Seeing how he kept walking to you, you were starting to become scared, but you remembered the words from your brother, Always keep calm-

"Are ya sure, kid? We're kinda in the middle of nowhere. No houses and all that. How 'bout I help you get home?" The man offered cheerily. The forced kind with another sure step towards you. But that was what doomed him, the winds were quick to blow him away and you were surprised!

It wasn't a big distance, and the man was quick to recover. Instead of a cheery smile on his face, it was of anger and that was when you became really scared. "You!" He barked as he walked to you again with equally angry steps. "You're coming with me brat!"

If you find yourself in danger- don't hesitate to call my na-

"That's enough." A man's voice spoke- clear and commanding. The man stood next to you as he landed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. It was brief moment, but he also made sure to give you a quick gentle smile your way. You… you trusted this man with amber eyes.

"Who the hell are you?! I've got no business with you!"

"And you also have no business with this child for I am her guardian." The man replied smoothly as he simply stood his ground with you, despite the other now seemingly ready for a fight. Feeling the anger, you tightly clung onto the newcomer's coat and hid behind him. On his back, you were met by a Geo Vision.

"Like I'd believe you! Just swooping in and play hero huh rich guy!"

The Geo user sighed, and the next thing you knew, the man summoned a spear out of thin air! "I have no intentions of fighting you. But I promise you- You will suffer the wrath of the rock should you choose to continue this behavior."

His voice was light, but you noticed the silent message under his tone. The would-be kidnapper shivered at the amber gaze and decided, that it was wise to back off- Not without leaving a few curses that is. 

"He's gone now." The man spoke gently as hebturned around to look at you. Oh how his heart softened, seeing your frightened look and teary eyes.

"You're safe, I promise you. My name is Zhongli." 

Zhongli? You heard this name somehwere, but you couldn't pin point where or when… still a bit shaken up from whay happened. Remember, Little Wind. Zhongli was mentioned in passing a few times by your brother. Perhaps this is the very same Zhongli your brother speak of…

"Umm…" Your voice squeaked, "Do you.. do you know my brother?"

At that question, Zhongli confirmed that you are the rumored little sibling of Xiao. It would have been delightful to meet you on different circumstances, but he was glad nonetheless to save you from the previous situation.

"May I know the name of your brother, little miss/sir?"

"His name is Xiao." You replied and Zhongli noticed a bit of happiness in your voice.

"I do know you brother, quite the stern one, too. And he will be stern with you if he learns what happened here and you going out during the night. Does he know that you're out right now?"

With that question, you finally realized the gravity of the situation. You left during the dead of the night- without permission whatsoever! Oh no, I'm in big trouble… What if you made them worry? You were so far away from home! All these thoughts made you start tearing up again and Zhongli was quick to notice. He was about to speak up and console the little one when a gush of air stopped him. And that very same gush of air made you tear up some more and clutched on Zhongli's coat.

"Name, where have you been?" Xiao's voice was calm- but he's not the perfect brother nor human. There was something in his tone that suggested he was clearly not pleased about the situation. You could feel his gaze boring onto your back.

With a bit of coaxing from Zhongli, you faced you brother. "I-I'm s-sorry, gēgē…" Your voice cracked as tears started to blur your eyes. But your brother was not yet done.

"Name, do you have any idea how worried our mother was when she found out you were out of bed and could not find you anywhere in the inn?"

The thought of your mother searching all over you made you tears form more. "I- I do."

"Do you really?" 

It was a sharp question without even missing a bit, and that was the starting point for you and for him. Even Xiao winced at his own words, he swore he'll have to make it up to you later- but for now you had to understand. He remembered the panicked face your mother wore with tears threatening to fall. He remembered her panicked voice when she called for him. He remembered the worry he felt and the dip in his stomach when she said you were missing.

"I-I'm so sorry, gēgē. I-I was just p-playing. I d-didn't want you and mama t-to worry…" You couldn't meet his eyes.

Worry?

"Just. Playing? Name, you left home in the middle of the night- when dangers are high- just to play! Name, you could have gotten hurt! We were not just worried, Name- we were scared that something might have happened to you!" 

Every word he spoke- his voice rose higher- not being able to contain the pits of his negative thoughts. Every word- it was like a stab to his heart. But he had to be firm.

"I will ask you again, Name. Do you really understand what you did and their consequences?"

And thay was the breaking point and the night was filled by you whimpers, your wales, and your aplogies. Your shoulders began to shake and tears flowed freely and lungs struggling for breath. "I-I'm sorry, gēgē- I-I shouldn't h-have left h-home! Pleas-se d-dont stay m-mad at me… I p-promise i-it-t won't happen aga-ain- I-I'm s-sorry p-please don't h-hat-te m-me.

You kept going with your rambles and your tears. And for every whimper you released, Xiao was close to breaking too. The brother lost count many times you've repeated your mantras- but he decided- I can't do this anymore. Not with you crying breathless. He'll talk to you about this when everything's calm- his emotions and yours.

With swift steps and sure movements, Xiao pulled you into a hug and your cries grew louder. "Just don't do that ever again, okay.." He said gently but voice cracking, leaving a kiss on your forehead as you nodded readily. Once your cries have calmed down, Xiao carried you to his arms followed hy him wiping away your tears.

"Name."

"Y-yes?"

Your eyes met, and the anger was no longer there, but instead worry and love.

"I love you."

You could feel his genuinity. The words brought a smile to your face, albeit small. "I love you, too, gēgē."

Xiao smiled and left another kiss on your nose. "Sleep now. You had a long night and way past your bed time."

You didn't even protest, you were out like a light bulb as you comfortably laid you head on his shoulder and closed your eyes- not missing the golden dragon floating behind the man who saved you.

~

The walk home was silent. A teleport would be quicker, but Xiao didn't want to disturb your sleep. It was an awkward walk to say the least. Him carrying his sibling, along with the last of his tears stinging his red eyes, all while his master accompanied them home.

But Zhongli- Zhongli was amused. Amused with the blooming dynamic siblinghood between you and Xiao. But he decided to hold his tongue. He knew Xiao was still wrapping his head around what had transpired. Still he does leave a praise to reassure Xiao that everything will be fine.

"You're the best brother your little sibling could ever ask for, Xiao. Remember that."

A/N: Welp ksks lots of loose ends if you squint ksks- like example the tone of the wind spirits, the cat and such

Taglist: @hanniejji @suckerforgenshinboys @arson-frog-art @anime-read-write-repeat @kryzi @riiasekai @sweetstrawberrybabe

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Hayloft (p.1)

Pairing: Arvin Russell x F!Reader

Summary: Your dad brings home his new coworker, Arvin Russell, telling you that he’ll be living with the two of you for a while. While attempting to keep Arvin from seeing the disfunction of your relationship with your father, the two of you grow closer than you thought. (Inspired by “Hayloft” by Mother Mother, though that’ll really only be one chapter later on so I don’t know if it really counts...) 

Warnings: Abuse, mentions of drinking, misogyny, reader’s mother is dead

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: My first slow(er) burn fic! Let me know what you think!

__________________

When your car finally pulled up the old dirt driveway to your family's farm house, the sun was already setting, casting an orange hue over the acres of land that your father had inherited from his father. It was beautiful, really. The sun was behind your old two story home made of wood planks that were covered in chipping white paint. The door’s paint was also chipping, only this time it was old navy blue paint - at least that’s the color it was supposed to be when it was painted who knows how many decades ago - that peeled back to reveal the wood beneath. 

Your father’s truck wasn’t in the driveway yet when you pulled up and you sighed in relief because it gave you the opportunity to get dinner started before he got home. You headed straight for the kitchen. The only moment taken for yourself was the moment of silence when you leaned against the counter top and stretched out your back from the long day's work at the diner. The refrigerator was mostly empty and you made a mental note to run to the store after work tomorrow before your father could notice the lack of food. Thankfully, there was still enough scraps to piece something together for tonight between the fridge and the cupboards. 

The house was swimming with the delicious scent of herbs, onions, potatoes, and stock as you boiled a stew on the stove when you heard the front door open. “Hi, Daddy! How was work?” You asked over your shoulder before you even heard his steps enter the kitchen, not actually caring but knowing he’d be upset if you didn’t ask. 

He came around the corner but you could hear from the moment the door opened that there were the footsteps of more than one person entering your home. With a frown, you turned from the stove and took a few steps so you could see around the wall that blocked your view of the front door but your father and new mystery person stepped around that corner and into the kitchen before you could get that far. You stopped in your tracks, startled by their sudden appearance, and your hand flew to your chest as your eyes widened in surprise. “Sorry!” You chuckled awkwardly, apologizing for your jumpiness, “Didn’t think you’d be comin’ in here.” 

It was a man about your age that stood just behind your father, a navy baseball cap twisted in his hands and his footsteps light so as to not knock dirt off onto the floor from his work boots, both welcomed displays of manners that you appreciated, unlike your father who left a trail of chunks of dried mud and grease everywhere he walked. This new boy, though, he was cute. Short curly hair that was messy, either from work or wearing the hat, big expressive brown eyes that reminded you of a puppy in the best possible way, a tight lipped expression that showed he was a little nervous and uncomfortable to be here, they were all a welcome, albeit unexpected, surprise. 

"Work was good. This here is Arvin Russel. He'll be staying with us, at least for the night." Your eyes flicked back to the boy you now knew as Arvin when your dad introduced him and your heart skipped a beat at the eye contact. 

  He nodded his head slightly, a small cordial smile flashing on his face for just a moment, "Pleasure to meet you,..." 

"Y/N. It's nice to meet you as well. If you're staying the night, let me add some water to the soup and then I'll go make up the spare bed." You pointed your thumb over your shoulder towards the pot of stew that was nearly done. 

"That's very kind of you. Thank you." 

Before you could notice him moving, your dad was already beside the fridge and you reached out to try to stop him before he could open it. "Let me get you something! What about you, Arvin? You want a beer or some water?" You scurried to try and beat your dad to the fridge that you knew would earn you a reprimanding that you didn’t deserve. 

You were too late though and your dad already swung the door open wide. You stepped back nervously, rubbing the sharp edge of your nails against your thumb. "It's damn near empty." He noted, voice stiff and dissatisfied. He stood, managing to produce the last two beers from the refrigerator before slamming it shut. 

You flinched at the loud sound, hearing the few glass jars of preserves and jams clanging against each other inside from the force. Your eyes rolled beneath closed lids at his overdramatic reaction, even though it was one you expected. "I'm gonna hit the market after work tomorrow but I checked that we have enough for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow." Your voice was sweet and placating, careful to respond in a way that would keep his temper in check. 

  "It's that damn job of yours. I told you women shouldn't be working. They belong in the house where you should be. Now look. You went and let the kitchen run out." He passed Arvin a beer, which he reluctantly accepted, watching the way your father pointed his finger at you accusingly. “Ain’t no man gonna want a wife who can’t even keep the kitchen stocked up.” 

Your tongue was raw inside from biting down on it so hard in order to keep yourself in line, as he called it. You didn't need a blow out tonight, not with Arvin here. "I manage to work and keep up with the house just fine, Daddy. We just got a little low on groceries but I'll be heading to the market tomorrow to fix it. Don’t you worry." Even you were surprised with how even and sweet your voice came out, that ever present fire of anger towards your father having been fanned into a decent blaze.  

He popped the tab on his beer and sighed, dropping the topic for the time being, "Fine. But make sure to pick up some fixin's for that chicken roast you make. Patty is lookin' nice and fat in the coop so why don't you cook her up tomorrow." 

You grimaced at the thought. Patty was one of the chickens in your coop out back that had been pretty slow when it came to laying eggs but you’d grown attached to her nonetheless. Ever since you were a young girl, your daddy warned you not to become attached to the animals out back but you never listened. Back then, you’d had your mother to step in and convince him not to kill the animals for whatever reason she could come with and opt for buying meat from the market instead. You hadn’t been able to convince him like that since she’d passed. Everything had been different since she passed. 

“I don’t know, Daddy. Patty’s been layin’ a lot of eggs lately and we’ve been gettin’ extra money from sellin’ all those eggs. Why don’t I just pick up a chicken in town tomorrow at the store.” You insisted, walking back over to the stove to stir the stew. 

“Don’t go wastin’ money on things we already got! We got some chickens out back. Just cook one of ‘em up tomorrow!” Your father’s voice was hard and stern now, enough to fill the air with tension in Arvin’s presence. You turned slowly, making eye contact with Arvin briefly before quickly avoiding it. You didn’t like the way he stood awkwardly, silently watching the interaction he clearly didn’t think highly of. Your father was already getting worked up and it would only get worse the longer the night went on. 

Biting your cheek, you nodded, “Yes, sir. Now why don’t you boys go get cleaned up. Dinner will be ready in just a minute.” 

**

Dinner went relatively well, despite your father’s occasional grumblings about there not being any beer. Once you finished, you stood up and picked up yours and your father’s bowls before noticing Arvin’s was empty as well. “Did you want some more? There’s just enough for one more if you’d like it.” You offered Arvin that last bit of stew but he just shook his head and stood up. 

“Oh, no thank you miss. Dinner was delicious though. Let me help with that.” He grabbed his own bowl before your hand could reach it and then took the bowls from your hands as well before setting them down at the sink. 

You chased after him, “Thank you but you don’t have to do that! Please, sit. I’ll make your bed up when I’m finished cleaning up dinner.” 

“She’s right, son. Kitchen ain’t no place for a man. Why don’t you come with me and I’ll show you the room you’ll be stayin’ in.” You father’s chair screeched against the beat up wooden floor as he stood, beckoning Arvin to him. 

Arvin was standing right beside you, his arm only a few inches from yours as he lowered the stack of bowls into the sink. He looked over at you with deep soulful eyes that seemed to look right through your calm facade in a way that made you feel seen like never before. It was highly uncomfortable, almost violating after all these years of hiding away what you felt for the sake of keeping the peace, and you forced a smile, “Please, you’re our guest. It wouldn’t be right to make you do the dishes. You go with him.” 

He gave you a drawn out hesitant look but turned away nonetheless and walked towards your dad. “Thank you again for letting me stay here till I get things figured out. It’s mighty kind of you.” Arvin thanked you and your father for your hospitality, shooting you one last glance over his shoulder before following your father down up the stairs towards the spare room. 

You made quick work of the dishes, having cleaned most of them as you were cooking earlier anyways and scurried to the closet that held your extra sheets. As you passed the bathroom, you heard the shower running and knew it was your father bathing after his long day of work, like he always did right after dinner. The man was a creature of habit. 

With your arms full of neatly folded faded steel blue linens and the thicker burnt sienna colored wool blanket, you made your way towards the guest room Arvin was staying in to find the door wide open and the man looking through his bag that was set on the bed. “Knock knock,” you announced your presence, waiting at the entryway for Arvin to notice you before entering. 

He spun around, dropping something that you didn’t see quickly into his bag and pressing it down while flashing you a small polite smile, “Hello, ma’am.” 

You walked into the room, raising the linens in your hands, “I brought some sheets so I could make up your bed.” You walked over to the wooden chair and set the top sheet down before making your way back over to the bed, unfolding the bottom sheet as you did, waving it up and down in the air to straighten it out before laying it flat on the bed. 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, miss,” He moved his bag to the ground and jumped to lift the corner of the mattress and tuck the sheet beneath it. 

You blushed at his kindness, not used to such help from your father, but shook your head, tucking the sheet beneath the mattress on the opposite side of the bed “If my daddy came in and saw you fixin’ the bed yourself, he’d kill me,” you chuckled to make it sound like a joke but you knew better than that. He wouldn’t actually kill you but you would certainly get some less than kind words thrown your way, maybe even a few beer cans thrown your way depending on how drunk he was. 

Arvin shook his head, his hands falling on his hips, “Looks like you do most the housework ‘round here.” What he was insinuating was clear even though his tone didn’t change but you didn’t want to acknowledge it. He didn’t need to concern himself with the difficulties between you and your father. 

“So how’d you and my dad meet?” You changed the topic, going to grab the top sheet and unfolding it. You laid it over the bed and tucked your side in, Arvin reaching down to tuck his side in as well in a silent act of defiance against your insistence that he didn’t need to help. It occurred to you suddenly after the question left your lips that you didn’t actually know anything about this boy but, for some reason, you still didn’t feel uneasy around him.  

Arvin pulled the top corner of the sheet up to the head of the bed as he answered, “I just started workin’ at the garage with ‘im.” 

“You like cars?” You questioned, spreading out the final layer on the bed, the wool blanket. 

Arvin shrugged, “Never been really into ‘em but I can fix ‘em alright enough. Just needed the work and happened to see the wanted sign when I was passin’ through town.” 

Your brow raised in curiosity, “You were just passin’ through and stopped in this old town cause of a help wanted sign?” The little town you lived in wasn’t terrible but it was far from a destination that people really moved to for work unless you a doctor desperate for a place to practice or something like that. “You must really be desperate,” you joked but immediately felt a slight pang of regret when a shred of truth could be seen in his eyes. 

“Just tryna figure out where I’m goin’ ‘n what I wanna do. Figure I’ll find somewhere I like eventually.” Arvin picked up his bag and set it off to the side where it was a little more out of the way. 

You stared at the man standing before you, taking every bit of him from the grease stains on his white t-shirt to his scuffed up brown work boots to his messy hair, dirty from dried sweat. It wasn’t until you locked eyes with him that you realized that you’d been staring in a settled yet weirdly comfortable silence. You stood up straight and smiled to diffuse the awkwardness you’d unintentionally fostered, “You’re more than welcome to take a shower. My daddy should be finished any second. I’ll set some extra towels in there for you.” 

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you.” He nodded in appreciation but offered no further conversation. You could tell from the moment of silence that it was time for you to make your exit. 

“Well, uh, I better head to bed. You need anything before I go?” You asked, backing towards the door and swinging slightly with it once your hand hit the old bronze knob. 

Arvin shook his head, “No, thank you. ‘M all set.” 

“Alrighty, then. You have a good night.” You chewed your lip as you opened the door to make your exit. 

“G’night, miss Y/N.” 

Butterflies flew wildly in your belly as you walked to your bedroom. It had been a long while since you’d seen somebody worth looking twice at in this old town but now a mysterious handsome man rolls into town and stays with you. In your house. It probably wasn’t the safest of situations but Arvin genuinely looked like a nice man. From your very brief interactions with him, you couldn’t really imagine him trying to hurt you or your father for no reason. Even if he did, you knew where your daddy kept his shotgun and you had no problem defending yourself. But like I said, you had an unearned sense of peace with Arvin that you hoped wasn’t a misjudgement. 

“What’re you smilin’ ‘bout?” Your father’s gruff but thankfully not entirely drunk voice made you stop in your tracks and turn towards his room with a suppressed groan. He stood in the doorway of his bedroom in nothing but an undershirt and long johns with his suspenders hanging loosely at his sides.

You shook the smile off your face. “Just thought of somethin’ funny that happened at work,'' you lied. “You need somethin’?” 

“I watched you come out o’ that boy’s room with a big ol’ grin on your face. Better not let me catch you ‘n him. Ain’t no daughter o’ mine gonna be whorin’ around with some boy blowin’ through town, y’hear?” He threatened, his hands reaching down to pull up his worn out long johns. 

Your blood boiled at the accusation and despite your best efforts to keep peace while Arvin was here, you spat words with venom, “I wasn’t doin’ nothin’ with Arvin. God forbid I have a damn smile on my face.” Your voice was low enough so that you hoped your guest hadn’t heard your outburst but when your father’s face darkened and he began taking slow, heavy steps towards you, you weren’t sure if your charade of normalcy would last much longer. 

Your father hovered over you, exaggerating the size difference between the two of you, “I put a roof over your head. I put food on the table. You play make believe with that little diner job but I'm the head of this house. I'm your father. You watch that fuckin’ tone with me girl."

Your jaw was clenched tightly, matching your fists, as you glared up at him with indignantly furious eyes. Father your ass. He once had been your father, an imperfect but loving man who used to try. Now he was merely a selfish broken sperm donor. He inherited this house from his father, didn’t pay a darn cent, and you couldn't remember the last time he pitched in a dime for anything but alcohol and the occasional dinner he made when he was in a good mood. He did do that- have these strange out of character nights where he pretended to be kind and loving. They were far and few between though and, while you enjoyed the change of pace, it felt like walking on eggshells in some fantasy world. 

A heavy silence settled between the two of you that crackled with a tension that could snap at any moment and turn into a full blown fight. Your eyes were narrowed on his as you refused to let him think he intimidated you anymore. Nevertheless, you turned on your heel, nails digging into your palm, and walked down the hall towards your room, leaving him alone. 

“He wouldn’t want you anyways, fuckin’ attitude like that.” Your father grumbled to your back, hoping for one last reaction out of you that you refused to give. 

It took all the control in the world to not slam the door in his face but you knew there was no way it would escape Arvin’s attention. You’d have to resort to the therapy of muffling your furious tear-soaked screams into your pillow until you finally fell asleep, like you did many nights. 

[dreamii-yume]

HEHE HI I'M THE SAME ANON WHO SIMPS FOR DEUCE, AND YES YUME AAAAA (ﾉ*0*)ﾉ❤️💕❤️💕

So, basically, Deuce receiving a phone call from his mom while he's getting it on with darling 👀 and he forces her to talk to his mom while he's hitting it back ya know what I'm saying?! 😩 Like legit, Darling's just trying her best to muffle her moans as she's bent over the mattress with Deuce rearranging her guts, not even caring about what her mom's saying on the phone anymore as her eyes roll up in ecstacy and cumming hard on his dick AAAAAAA lmao hope it's okay!!! ( ꈍᴗꈍ)❤️❤️❤️

Chokes omg darling YESS???

Warnings : Non-Con | Yandere

The sheer amount of P A N I C alone had almost brought you into yet another embarrassing orgasm. His phone ringing not too far from the bed, where Deuce had you pinned down in all fours with his hand on top of your head. Filled with nothing but tears and moans, your fucked-out state barely manages to keep your consciousness intact as you glanced towards the vibrating device. For a moment there, you resented such a thing for bringing you back to full-awareness, when you were just about ready to pass out from the mixture of pain and pleasure swirling down your weeping pussy. But at the same time, you saw it as a desperate opportunity to get yourself out of your current situation.

Deuce was far too engraved in getting his dick wet over and over again as he slams continuously without rest inside of you, treating your pussy more of a fleshlight at this point. With his mouth offering small apologies and compliments of how good you felt, you didn’t think he even heard the sound of his own ringtone echoing throughout the room. Not when the sound of skin slapping against each other seemed to be even more pleasing to his ear alone. You didn’t know what you were trying to do, but getting fucked for almost an hour now had your mind in complete shambles that the most logical thing you can do at this moment was to reach out for that phone. You can’t quite see who exactly was calling on the other side, but no matter who it is, if they could at least just hear what kind of predicament you’re in, surely they’ll come running...correct?

However, it was just your luck when Deuce had opened his eyes to bask in the pleasure once more, just in time to see you struggling to reach for his phone. “Ah…” He was finally aware of the current caller and you felt him flinched behind you, you don’t know whether to take that as a good or a bad sign. “...I-It’s mom...” He muttered out, groaning as his grip against your hips tightened.

With that, you widened your eyes in realization and slowly retracted your hand away from answering that call. You could ask her for help, but it’s Deuce’s mother! It’s not very likely that she would come to believe you so easily since no mother can ever truly doubt their son like this. I mean, how could she not even believe someone like you over her own sweet child, who had been such a good son up until now? You might just end up making a fool of yourself! You let out a whimper that unfortunately caught Deuce’s attention as he reached for the phone himself and looked at you, gulping.

Then, to your surprise, he bought the phone right next to your ear as he leaned in to the other. “I can’t...ignore a call from mom...” He said, face flushed but his eyes were hazy as if he had been drinking alcohol all night long. “But I can’t face her...in this state...”

“So, please…Do the talking for me...”

You let out a sharp gasp, a shriek scraping against your throat as he slammed down inside you so hard that your vision darkened for a split second. Despite being able to barely recover from such an impact though, Deuce only repeated the same brutal thrust like it was normal, his aggressive grunts had your stomach rolling and swirling full of butterflies. He wants you to talk to his mom? At this state? If he can’t do it with the way he is right now, then what makes him think that you can!?

“Deuce? Hello, it’s mom~!”

And just like that, you clasped your hand over your mouth as soon as you heard the woman’s lovely voice on the other side of the device. It was taking all your willpower to not to let out questionable noises when Deuce wasn’t even cutting you off the slack by even attempting to slow down behind you. “Deuce?” His mom called once again, worried to hear a relative pause in the line. You glanced at the guy with widened, panicked eyes, begging for help in this situation, but he was too engrossed pounding you like there’s no tomorrow. That’s when you realized that there was no way Deuce was going to help you out with this, he’s probably gets on the fact that he was forcing you to do this in the first place.

So, with no other choice, you carefully opened your trembling lips and tried to stable your voice as much as possible. “Y-Yes...? This is...(Y/N) speaking...” You replied, trying to sound as cheerful as the woman knew you to be. “G-Good evening...!”

“Oh, (Y/N)? Are you with Deuce right now?”

You resorted into slamming your face in the bed sheets to muffle your moans once in a while. “Y-Yes...! Um, he’s...He’s...” You took another glanced at the man behind you. “He’s s-sleeping right now...”

You heard the woman gave a naïve sigh of relief. “Thank god, I thought something happened since he usually picks up within the first ring of his phone.” She laughed. “Anyway, I don’t want to disturb too much! You’re with Deuce for a reason, aren’t you~? Don’t worry, mom approves and supports the two of you~!”

You faked a laugh, but it sounded awkward and nervous in your opinion as you were trying so hard not to cringe at her attempt of playful teasing. “I just wanted to wish him a happy birthday, could you say that to him in my place, dear?” She said, a sweet mother that she is, unaware of the true nature of his son. “He’s been worrying a lot about his future and trying the best I’d ever seen him do, so naturally, as his mother, I’m really proud.”

“I’m lucky to have him, but I’d say he’s also as lucky to have someone as sweet as you so early on in his life.” She continued; she’s sounds so sentimental that it makes you want to cry for her kindness alone. “So, please take care of my little Deuce for me, will you? I’m counting on you~”

You closed your eyes, gulping down the building saliva inside your mouth and lowered your head down in shame. “...Yes, o-of course...”

And with a cheerful goodbye, Deuce’s sweet precious mother had finally hanged up and you couldn’t help but to let out a sob right after. Clinging onto the sheets, finally letting all those suppressed moans and shrieks out, your vaginal walls clenching uncontrollably against his dick in guilt. “So...Tight...” Deuce sighed, he was listening in until the very end and couldn’t keep a smile from forming on his lips. “You’re...gonna take care of me...as promised, huh...”

You reacted quite abruptly as he went in deep inside, knocking against your abused cervix to cause your eyes to roll back and to blank your mind. “I can’t wait...” He said, wrapping his arms around your waist, a change of pace from constantly trying to bruise up your hips. “W-We’re perfect...for each other.”

“I love you...!”

And with that, you could barely even register the warm liquid flowing through and slowly filling you up from the inside. Your mind wasn’t able to comprehend anything he said right after, the comforting feeling of slumber pulling you down was even more tempting. Especially when combined with how warm Deuce’s hand felt on the top of your head and his lips giving your neck a gentle wet kiss.

[gubler-me-up]

Give Me Hallmark

Request: hii can you like do a spencer reid one shot with a fem bau reader and it's christmas, everyone's still working and at the end of the day the reader asks if anyone wants to grab dinner for christmas but almost everyone has plans except for reid so they go out and eat then they walk around with all christmas lights and there's couples everywhere and spencer just confesses his love for her under a mistletoe.

A/N: Thank you for the request, @euphoricdumpsterfire​! We love a cute Christmas fic and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to post this exactly on Christmas but December 26th works too imo! Hope everyone who celebrated had a Merry Christmas and for those who don’t celebrate I hope you had a fantastic, relaxation day ❤️ Hope you enjoy!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: A small mention of alcohol but nothing else 

Word count: 3.5k

————-

Nothing was worse than working during Christmas. For most people that is but you didn’t mind. Your family had decided to go on a cruise for the holiday. They asked you to join but the day you were going to tell them your decision the team had a case in Wyoming. You insisted they go without you and you would visit them as soon they came back.

Christmas’s charm had faded away in your eyes as soon as you reached adulthood. Spending it alone had nearly become a habit of yours. Last year you spent it with a couple of friends and did a cute secret Santa exchange. The Christmas’ before that consisted of just you, a bottle of wine and reruns of your favourite hallmark movies.

As you worked diligently at your desk you couldn’t help notice walk down the steps towards where the four of you were working. You looked up and saw a sight that proved to you Christmas miracles were real. Hotch was smiling and whenever he smiled you knew there was extremely good news to proceed.

“Merry Christmas everyone. You’re off the clock,” he said.

“Off the clock? Hotch, we’ve only been working for five hours,” Spencer said.

“Reid, are you serious right now? A late start and an early finish? Sounds like a deal I’m going to take,” Morgan said as he started to pack up his stuff.

“Have a good rest of your day everyone,” Hotch said before retreating to his office.

You started packing up your stuff as well. You could already hear the opening scene of A Royal Christmas playing in your head. Before you could make your way home, cuddle up on your couch and lose your heart to movies you’ve watched for the past five years, you had to eat.

You looked around at everyone packing up their things to leave as soon as they possibly could. You wanted to eat at your fave Chinese spot instead of ordering takeout this year. You didn’t mind sitting in and dining on your own but you could already anticipate the looks of people dining in and seeing you eating alone. The last time that happened a man in his 70s insisted on joining you to eat and told you how much you reminded him of his wife who had passed away five years earlier.

“Does anyone wanna grab something to eat?” You asked.

“I would love to, Y/N, but I have a ticket to the Bahamas that’s calling my name. I’ll send plenty of pictures,” Emily said as she picked up her purse.

“Make sure you keep them PG-rated,” Morgan joked.

Emily playfully rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t give you a PG-13 picture even if you paid me.”

“Ouch,” he said.

Emily laughed as she told everyone goodbye. As soon as she walked out of the bullpen you knew there was no chance of getting her back. You turned your attention over to Morgan. He saw your gaze and immediately stood up to get out of your sight. You didn’t let him get too far though.

“How about you, Derek? You want to grab some Chinese?” You asked.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. If it was a regular, shmegular day I wouldn’t even think twice about it but since it’s Christmas I have plans I must attend,” he said.

“Oh? And those plans would be?” You inquired.

He shook his head and wiggled his finger at you. “We’re keeping it PG-rated remember? Have a Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

Before you could stop him for another question, he wished everyone a Merry Christmas and bolted out the bullpen. Now there was only you, JJ and Spencer. You saw JJ get up to leave next. She saw you looking at her and gave you a sympathetic smile but you knew her answer already.

“Kids?” You asked.

She nodded. “And husband. Sorry, we’ll go another time for sure.”

You smiled. “Of course. Merry Christmas, J.”

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

With that she was out of the bullpen. You sighed as you looked over at Spencer. He stood up from his desk and swung his satchel on his shoulder. You were nervous to even ask anyone else let alone  him if he was free to go out to eat with you. You knew he would probably be busy with his mother. He had been so stressed out lately about her health you didn’t want to bother him with your loneliness.

You then saw Garcia scurrying out of her office down into the bullpen area. You smiled as you saw her walking your way. You stepped in front of her with a huge smile. You were disappointed to not see the same enthusiasm on her face. Your smile instantly dropped.

“Too busy to get something to eat with me?” You asked.

“Unfortunately I am, my little sugar plum, but I will definitely go with you after the holiday,” she said before embracing you in a big hug.

You sighed and hugged her back. “Merry Christmas, P.”

“Merry Christmas, sweet stuff,” she said before scurrying past you.

You turned around to watch her leave like the rest. You sighed as you were starting to realize you probably were the only one without plans this Christmas. It made you quite sad to think about but you did it to yourself every year. What was one more year of sitting alone at a restaurant and having an old man tell you about his dead wife?

“I can go with you if you’d like, Y/N,” you heard Spencer say.

You looked back around to see him standing just a foot away from you. You were in shock he wasn’t busy as you thought he was going to be. You were even more shocked that he wanted to spend a few hours on Christmas day with you.

“You sure? I thought you’d go to Vegas to spend some time with your mom because of her health,” you said.

“I’m flying out tomorrow morning and I’m already packed, so I have time,” he said.

You stood there still in shock. You didn’t think you would be spending your evening with Spencer especially since it was only the two of you. Your look of shock must have made him weary because he furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

“Unless you’ve changed your mind then I’ll just go home,” he said.

You shook your head. “No, no, sorry. We can definitely go together. I’d love to spend my evening having you as my dinner companion.”

He sheepishly smiled. “Great. Should we ask Hotch and Rossi if they want to tag along?”

You chuckled. “Spence, when you reach their age all you want to do with your Christmas is cuddle up with a glass of scotch or whisky.”

He nodded in agreement. “Fair.”

You smiled as you picked up your purse off of your desk. Like the gentleman he was, he offered out his arm for you to hook onto. You didn’t hesitate to grab hold of his bicep and you swore he was flexing for you but that could have been your imagination.

Your favourite Chinese restaurant wasn’t too far from the BAU headquarters. It was only a few blocks down but it took a little longer for you two to get there than it would have been if you were walking by yourself. You enjoyed talking to Spencer and would get lost in every word he would say. From the time you two had left the office, he was talking about some recent discovery in the galaxy and the amount of passion in his voice was admirable.

He was naturally a slower walker compared to your need to fast walk but him talking to you allowed you to bear the brisk winter air for a little longer. The cold didn’t seem to bother him much because he kept looking your way when he was talking to you even though the wind was blowing that way. The way he was smiling at you throughout could have been the reason he was warm because his smile could warm the coldest of nights.

He held the door open to let you in. You blushed and thanked him as you stepped in. Everything he did felt so intimate to you. It felt as if you were at the beginning of your own little Hallmark movie but it could have been your overly active imagination at work again. Maybe it was time for you to retire the Hallmark movies if they were making you think this way.

“For two?” The host asked.

You nodded. “Yes, please.”

“Follow me this way,” she said as she led the way.

She led you both to a booth near the back corner of the restaurant. You both thanked her as she put down your menus. You took off your purse and jacket and tossed them on your seat before scooting in. Spencer followed suit.

As you looked at the menu you couldn’t help but notice Spencer smiling as he looked down at his. You looked up at him with a puzzled look. He looked up from his menu to see your full confused look.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Why are you smiling to yourself?” You asked.

“Uh, well, I just find it kind of funny,” he said.

“Find what kind of funny?” You asked.

“Out of all the things you could have done on Christmas you wanted to eat at a Chinese restaurant,” he said with a soft chuckle.

“Well, if I’m keeping it honest I’ve been craving Chinese for a while and this is one of my favourite spots. I found out a few days ago they have a deal where if you and someone else come in on Christmas Day, you get 50 percent off your meal,” you said.

“Ah, is that why you were asking everyone to tag along?” He asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. It’s probably the lamest way to spend Christmas but I love a good meal and a good price point.”

“I don’t think it’s a lame way to spend Christmas at all. I do this with my mom on most years but instead of Chinese we go eat at Binion’s and indulge in chicken fried lobster.”

You giggled. “I love that. My family went on a cruise I had to miss out on but I’ll see them in a week.”

“Well, if you’re eating on a budget on Christmas Day then you definitely saved yourself some major cash from missing that cruise if that makes you feel better. On average, during a seven-to-eight day cruise passengers spend $212 daily.”

“The way my dad eats he’s probably spending near $300.”

Spencer cracked a wider smile which automatically made you laugh. He broke into a small chuckle once you started it off. You saw the server walking up and automatically calmed down before picking up the menu again. Spencer turned to see the server approach your table. She placed two glasses of water down before taking out her pen and notepad.

“Welcome and Merry Christmas. I would like to start off by mentioning on Christmas we do a special where if two people come in their meal is half off,” she said.

“Oh, I’ve heard,” Spencer said as he looked at you.

You slightly blushed. You didn’t know if it was from the way he looked at you or if it was because you were way too excited about this deal.

“Amazing. Do you two know what you’d like?” She asked.

“Can we get a few more minutes please?” You asked.

“Of course. Would you like any other drink besides water?” She asked.

“No thank you,” you both said in unison.

Your server smiled and nodded before leaving the two of you to look over your menus. It seemed as if he couldn’t keep his eyes on his menu long enough to look over it. His eyes kept wandering up to look at you. Naturally, your eyes wanted to look into his.

“What now?” You giggled.

“How do you feel about looking at Christmas lights?” He asked.

“I love looking at Christmas lights,” you said.

“Awesome. There’s this street in downtown Washington full of them. I think they looked extremely pretty and I thought you’d like them,” he said.

“You thought I’d like them?” You said.

He nodded. “Yeah. I know how much you love Christmas lights, so when I walked by them last night I thought of you.”

“You did?” You asked.

“Yeah. Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. I didn’t-”

“No, no, I’m not uncomfortable at all. I’d really love to go with you, Spence,” you assured him.

He smiled and you could see the small fade-in of blush appear on his cheeks. If this was the universe’s way of telling you your Hallmark dreams had come true, it was the best possible way to let you know. You could have never imagined your Christmas would be spent with someone you had a crush on and you loved every second of it. You wanted it to become a Christmas tradition every year.

Once you two were done eating, Spencer paid even after you insisted you would. Before you could even take out your card, he had already paid in cash. You hated how he was always one step ahead of the game but it’s one of many things you adored about him.

It had become pitch dark outside as you two waited outside for a taxi to pass by. When you saw the first one come down the street you waved your arms like a maniac. You being the clumsy person you were nearly lost your balance and fell into the road. Spencer quickly grabbed onto your arm to keep you balanced.

As you two rode in the back of the taxi, you were already admiring the Christmas lights on houses and buildings. Spencer would point out ones on his side and you would look out in amazement. He chuckled every time your face would show any form of excitement or wonder. The drive alone was 45 minutes long but it felt like 10 as Spencer preoccupied your time.

When you reached downtown Washington, Spencer opened your door to let you out. He held out his hand to help you get out. He probably didn’t trust your legs holding you up after your little incident. You closed the door behind you and you two started your journey through the city.

“I think blue Christmas lights are my favourite,” you said.

“How come?” He asked.

“They’re the prettiest colour. It’s bright enough to catch your attention but not too overpowering to hurt your eyes,” you said.

“That’s a good reason to like it,” he said.

You giggled. “No fact to go along with my analysis, doctor?”

He chuckled. “I was trying to hold back but blue is a rare colour in nature but the most preferred colour by choice. Throughout history, it has been a top colour associated with relaxation and lowering blood pressure.”

“Amazing. I was struggling with my blood pressure, you know,” you joked.

He looked at you concerned. “What? Y/N, are you okay? If work is stressing you out, I don’t mind taking some of your workload.”

You laughed. “I’m kidding, Spence, but I might take you up on that offer if I ever do feel stressed out at work. What’s your favourite Christmas light colour?”

He pointed to the Christmas lights to his left. You looked and saw green lights hanging off of a storefront. You widened your eyes at how beautiful they looked. Spencer looked at you and smiled at your expression.

“They’re pretty, huh?” He asked.

“Pretty? They’re gorgeous. I didn’t even realize how beautiful the green lights were until they stood alone,” you said.

“Green’s actually the second most popular colour after blue,” he said.

You smiled. “Seems fitting.”

“Oh and in China green jade symbolizes virtue and beauty,” he said.

“Also very fitting,” you said.

You bit your bottom lip as you realized what you had said. You looked to your right to avoid eye contact with him. You couldn’t bear him asking about what you meant. You pointed to your side at another business that had strung green lights all over their store.

“You were right about green being a second favourite next to blue,” you said.

“George Washington’s favourite colour was green,” he said.

“Maybe there’s an ode to George going on in these streets,” you said.

He chuckled. “Possibly even though he was born in February.”

You laughed at his joke even though he didn’t know it was one. As you two continued walking you couldn’t help but notice all the couples populating the streets. Young couples, old couples, couples with kids. You looked over at Spencer to see his gaze looking from couple to couple as well.

You stared up at him wondering if he too wished they were those couples. Not that you wished you were any couple specifically but just a couple in general. You thought you two would look cute together especially on Christmas.

You soon noticed couples walking past you two smiling. You politely smiled back and so did Spencer. You weren’t sure if they were doing it to be polite or doing it because they thought you two were also a couple. Maybe they also saw the potential you two had together.

You sighed and decided it was best to turn your attention back to the lights. Again you saw green Christmas lights brighten a toy store’s front display. You don’t think you’ve ever seen so many green lights in your life. You started to think he had set this up.

“Spence, everyone has green lights up. I think they surpass blue in popularity now,” you said.

“Where do you see them?” He asked.

“Oh, you poor thing. I forgot you’re not wearing your glasses. They’re kind of small and on the inside showcase,” you said as you dragged him by his hand to the toy store.

As you two walked up to the store you could see his face lighten up when he saw the lights. You smiled at how excited he was to see all these green lights. As you recalled green and purple were his favourite colours so seeing all this green probably made him overly excited.

“Everywhere’s green for you, Spence,” you said.

“You know, many people don’t know this but green is the colour of love since it’s associated with Venus,” he said.

“Someone on this street must love you a lot then if they’re hanging up all these green lights,” you said.

“If you didn’t do it then I don’t want whoever did,” he said.

You looked at him in shock. You gave him a second to correct himself or at least elaborate for you but he didn’t. Once he said what he had to say, he stayed quiet as if he was waiting for you to say the next few words.

“Wait, repeat that and please say it with your chest this time so I know I heard you correctly,” you said in disbelief.

“I like you a lot, Y/N. More than words could ever express. I know you might not feel the same way but I just had to get it off my chest,” he said.

As he said that it felt as if the whole world went silent. You took in every word he said and it still didn’t feel real to you. You looked up at him as he waited anxiously for you to respond. You then looked up to see a stream of mistletoe hanging above you two. You looked back at him.

“You wanna know how I really feel?” You asked.

“Ye-”

Before he could fully respond to you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and nearly jumped into him to kiss his soft lips. He grabbed you by your waist to keep you close to him as your tongues exchanged names. You didn’t want to stop but you were curious to see his reaction to what you just did. It was priceless.

He stared at you in a mix of confusion, happiness and love. You uncontrollably giggled at his expression. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone express three different emotions in one go before.

“You know, I did always want to star in my own Hallmark movie,” you joked.

“I’m glad I could give that to you,” he said.

“I think there’s one more thing you could give to me,” you said.

“Anything. What is it?” He asked.

“Another kiss,” you said.

He chuckled. “I’d kiss you forever.”

He leaned in and you didn’t hesitate to latch onto his lips. Even though the cold breeze was shaking you to the core, your happiness kept you going. You couldn’t possibly go back to watching Hallmark movies after getting the real thing. Besides you felt after this moment your next Christmas’ would be spent in Vegas at Binion’s eating chicken fried lobster.

—–

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512​ @laneybobeczko-g​ @averyhotchner​ @littlewierdalien @cynbx

[morganaspendragonss]

fic request because i am d e s p e r a t e : tarlos carlos whump with supportive gabriel reyes ??? if you’re down to write him that is. i love ur work n ur whump n i think u would write a p good gabe. 🥰

holly’s august extravaganza day 1: against all odds (we're still here)

i'm always down to write gabriel! thanks for the prompt trick, i hope you like it!

ao3 | 2k | car accidents, whump, major character injury, angst with a happy ending

“I told you we should have brought the car.”

Carlos scowls over at TK, shifting one of the many bags he’s carrying higher on his arm. It cuts painfully into his skin, his good mood from earlier long since soured. The knowledge that TK is, of course, right isn’t exactly helping matters.

“In my defence,” he starts, for probably the fifth or sixth time, “when we texted your dad to see if he wanted us to pick up anything from the store, I wasn’t expecting a full list.”

“We could have told him no.”

“TK, he’s your dad and we are literally crashing his home right now. I’m not gonna tell him no.”

TK opens his mouth, presumably to retort with a comment about how his dad loves Carlos and loves having them around. Both of which are things Carlos knows perfectly well, thanks, but he’s still not interested in testing it by refusing to get Owen’s kale chips or that specific brand of shampoo which took half an hour—and two stores—to track down.

Whatever TK was about to say is abandoned when one of his own bags slips out of his grasp and falls to the ground with a depressing thud. It bursts open—because why wouldn’t it—and spills their purchases across the sidewalk. The only solace is that nothing breaks, but that’s where the good news begins and ends; Carlos’s eyes track a can as it rolls down the street and into the gutter, landing in a puddle of dirty water. TK looks forlornly between the dropped bag and those still balanced on his arms, then heaves a long-suffering sigh and crouches awkwardly, easing the other bags down as carefully as he can manage.

“Call an Uber,” he grumbles. “We are not walking home like this.”

On that point, they’re in agreement. Carlos spares himself a moment of idle amusement at TK’s predicament before beginning the arduous task of extracting his phone from his pocket without dropping any of his own shopping.

He’ll hate himself for it later, but he’s so focused that the screech of tires coming around the corner barely registers as a blip on his radar. He doesn’t notice anything until TK suddenly barrels into him, throwing Carlos to the side just before something else, something heavy, crashes into them with a blinding flash of pain, and then—

Nothing.

*

Oh my god!

Someone call 911!

Are they even alive?

Just hold on, son, you’re going to be just fine.

*

Beeping.

Carlos frowns, slowly blinking his heavy eyelids open. It takes a minute to register his surroundings for what they are—a hospital room—and a further minute to notice the presence at his side. It’s his father, looking exhausted, turning his cowboy hat in his hands as he stares at the floor.

“Dad?” he croaks, wincing at the soreness in his throat. “What happened?”

His father’s head jerks up, his eyes going wide as he sees Carlos awake. “Mijo. It’s good to see you awake.”

“Dad, why am I here? What happened?”

He sighs, reaching out to pat Carlos’s arm. “There was an accident,” he explains. “A drunk driver lost control of his car and mounted the curb right where you boys were standing. He was speeding, so he hit you pretty hard. Your foot was crushed under a wheel, you have a fractured wrist, and you bumped your head when you fell so you probably have a concussion. The doctors say you should heal just fine, though, gracias a Dios.”

Carlos lifts his head to look down at his body, only just registering the casts on his arm and foot. There’s a dull ache radiating through his entire body and his head is pounding in time with his heartbeat, but he’s alive and he’ll heal. He should be happy about that, but the only thing occupying his mind is his dad’s silence on TK.

“What about TK?” he asks, part of him dreading the answer. “I remember him pushing me; is he okay?”

“He’s…” His dad hesitates, sending a cold slither of fear down Carlos’s spine. “Alive.”

Carlos stares, the beginnings of panic stealing his breath. “What does that mean?”

His father blows out a long breath. “It means you were right,” he says, meeting Carlos’s eyes. “He did push you, so he took the brunt of the hit. He suffered a serious open pelvic fracture and broken ribs, which punctured his lung. Last I heard, they managed to fix him up and they’re not expecting any further complications, but we won’t know for sure until he wakes up.”

“He hasn’t woken up?”

“Not yet. He will, you’ll see.”

“I want to see him.”

And Carlos knows what the answer will be to that—a resounding no. He also knows that he won’t be able to argue; his father is incredibly stubborn, and when he digs his heels in, there’s no moving him. But he needs to at least try—he’s not going to stop worrying about TK until he sees him, and probably not for a long time after that.

His dad sighs and fixes him with a firm look. “Carlitos, you and I both know that’s out of the question,” he says. “You’ve only just woken up, you need to give yourself time to heal before exerting your body even more. Besides, he’s in good hands and Owen is with him, so we’ll know as soon as there’s any change.”

“Joder, Papá, I know all that,” Carlos cries, frustrated, barely able to refrain from throwing his head back on the pillow. “I just hate that he’s here, hurt, and I can’t even see him.”

“Lo sé,” His dad smiles gently, something that’s probably supposed to be comforting, but really only gets on Carlos’s nerves. “Escúchame, hijo. Descansa. Cúrate. Then you can focus on TK.”

It’s easier said than done and his father knows it, but Carlos has no choice. The conversation is effectively put to an end by his dad reaching over and pressing the call button next to the bed. A nurse comes in and quickly sets about checking his vitals and asking enough questions to make Carlos’s head spin. His probable concussion becomes definite, but otherwise he’s in good shape, all things considered.

He can’t help but wish he weren’t.

*

Two days later, Carlos is deemed fit to be discharged, providing he has someone to help him and providing he agrees to rest and not do anything even close to strenuous. TK is also awake now but, according to Owen, he’ll be kept in the hospital for at least another week. The break to his pelvis was bad, so he’ll need a wheelchair for a while even after discharge, and his refusal to take strong painkillers means his recovery is going to be long and painful.

Carlos is itching to see him. It’s been torture cooped up in his room without knowing how TK was doing—there’s only so much relief messages passed through their fathers can bring. It had only been his father’s stern and steady presence that had kept him in that bed when he felt like he was losing his mind with worry.

But now, finally, he’s being wheeled into TK’s room and helped onto the chair next to the bed. Owen stands off to the side, watching the two of them with a mixture of affection and sadness in his gaze, and his dad hovers behind him, but Carlos only has eyes for TK.

He looks incredibly tired, but he attempts a smile when he rolls his head to look at Carlos, extending his hand out across the distance between them.

“Hey, Ty,” Carlos says softly, taking TK’s hand in his good one. “How are you feeling?”

“Been better. Not sure if I’ve been worse. I think this might just beat getting shot to that title.”

“That’s not funny.”

TK just hums, his eyes drifting closed for a second. “Maybe not.”

“Why did you push me?”

TK’s eyes fly open at the question, confusion overtaking his expression as he stares at Carlos. He moves as if to sit upright before groaning in pain, his face screwing up. Carlos reaches out for him, but he’s beaten to it by his father, who places a reassuring hand on TK’s shoulder.

“Take it easy, son,” he says gently. “Don’t move too much.”

“I hate this,” TK mutters, his body relaxing bit by bit. His gaze is still clouded when he looks back over at Carlos, but he manages a soft smile all the same. “I pushed you because I didn’t want you to get hurt. The car would have hit me either way; I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to get you out of the way in time.”

Carlos blinks at him, dumbfounded. “You’re sorry?” he asks, disbelief colouring his tone. “Ty, you’re in the hospital, seriously injured, because you chose to save me instead of yourself. Why would you do that?”

“You know why.”

Carlos does; of course he does, but it’s not enough to assuage the guilt still bubbling in his stomach at the sight of TK in the bed.

TK sighs, squeezing his hand. “You would have done the same for me,” he points out. “We both know you would have, so don’t you dare ask me to apologise for my choices.”

“I know. I won’t.” Carlos closes his eyes, deflating a little. “I just hate seeing you hurt.”

“And I hate seeing you hurt, so maybe you can do us both a favour and go home. I’ll be fine.”

Carlos must need his hearing tested, because there’s no way TK just said that. There’s no way his boyfriend told him to leave right after calling him out for hypocrisy. Except apparently he did, because he’s trying to disentangle their hands, and Carlos is not having that.

He grips onto TK even tighter and glares at him. “TK, if you think I’m leaving you here—”

“Carlos,” TK interrupts quietly. “I get it. But, babe, you need to rest and heal, and you can’t do either of those things sitting here.”

“Watch me.”

“No.” TK shifts his gaze over Carlos’s shoulder, a slight smirk playing at his lips. “Mr Reyes, can you make sure he rests?”

His dad laughs, leaning over to pat TK’s shoulder. “Of course. I’m sure once his mother sees him, she won’t let him out of her sight for a week anyway.”

TK grins. “Good to know.” He yawns and resettles himself slightly in the bed, his eyes fluttering shut. “Carlos, if you’re still here when I next open my eyes, I’m not kissing you for a month.”

“You shouldn’t make threats you know you can’t follow through with.”

“Don’t make me make it two.”

Despite himself, Carlos laughs. He leans over and presses a lingering kiss to TK’s temple, then stands as well as he’s able, leaning on his dad for support. “Alright, I’m going. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

TK already sounds half-asleep when he mumbles, “Love you too,” back, and Carlos can’t even be embarrassed by how ridiculously smitten he must look, even though he’s in front of both their fathers.

He allows his dad to move him back to the wheelchair and says a quick goodbye to Owen, keeping his eyes on TK for as long as he can. Just as they reach the door, he catches TK’s eyes opening to slivers, obviously checking to see if Carlos is actually leaving. Carlos shakes his head at him, causing TK to flush at the knowledge he’s been caught. His eyes slam shut again, his tongue poking out childishly, and Carlos laughs, a lightness settling in his heart even as TK’s room disappears from view.

It’s going to be a long few months for the both of them, but they have family behind them to help them get through it.

And they have each other. Which, given everything, Carlos thinks is nothing short of a goddamn miracle.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: Nirvana in Fire, Episode 04

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)

Warning! Spoilers for all 54 episodes!

Schemes in Progress:

Mu Nihuang’s Marriage//Martial Arts Competition: Mei Changsu has a foolproof plan for defeating the lead contender, Baili Qi, who is the only contender who can actually beat Nihuang to win her hand. His plan appears to involve having small children beat the mighty warrior. In fact his plan is way simpler and more delightful than that, but I’ll discuss the specifics in a later post. It’s politically important to defeat Baili Qi, not just personally, because he represents a potential enemy state. 

Mu Nihuang’s Marriage//Sima Lei: The Crown Prince and his mom, Consort Yue, want to force Nihuang to marry their dude Sima Lei. The plan is to use Roofie Wine on her. Consort Jing gets wind of this plan and gets a counter-plan rolling. 

Getting Tingsheng Out Of The Palace: Mei Changsu uses the anxiety caused by Baili Qi’s badassery to get the Emperor to agree to his ridiculous kid-training plan, and then makes sure Tingsheng, the secret son of the late Prince Qi, is one of the kids he gets to train. 

Put Jingyan on the Throne: This scheme gets rolling, with a general pattern of Mei Changsu & team doing whatever they can to sink the leading contenders for the throne, which gives Jingyan an opportunity to rise up. The leading contenders tend to cooperate in their own sinking because they are ruthlessly ambitious, and Mei Changsu designs his plans to take advantage of that. 

Banquet Battle

After thoroughly disarming and whomping Jingrui, Baili Qi finishes by flinging Jingrui’s sword into the floor right in front of him. 

Jingrui, who hoped to literally cripple Baili Qi in this fight, has the nerve to be affronted by this. 

(More behind the cut!)

Baili Qi shows his impeccable barbarian manners, giving the Emperor a nice gesture of respect that is presumably local to Northern Yan. Meanwhile, Mei Changsu and Nihuang are snarking quietly at their table like a couple of high schoolers.

Mei Changsu pretends to be embarrassed when the Emperor tells them to share their joke with the whole class, but of course it’s always a scheme, with him. 

He and Nihuang explain to everyone that they were just chatting about how Baili Qi is great and all, but that Mei Changsu could train some small amateur children to beat his bitch ass, given a couple of days to teach them to run in a circle. 

The emperor thinks this is a good plan, and gets right on board with it. 

This is not actually because the emperor is an idiot, however, although Prince Yu clearly thinks so. 

The emperor IS an idiot, but on this occasion I think he has correctly deduced that Mei Changsu has some kind of shady plan in mind, and he is 100% in favor of shady plans, if they work to his benefit. 

Consort Bestie

Jingyan’s mom Consort Jing is hanging out in the palace, and meets up with her girlfriend bestie, Imperial Concubine Hui. Historically, the Emperor’s collection of women was divided into ranks; how many ranks was different for different periods. In NIF, Consort Jing and I.C. Hua belong to the “outer palace” and the Empress and Consort Yue belong to the “inner palace” because they rank higher. The Empress likes to pick on  IC Hua, and has sent her to light a bunch of candles in a haunted palace.

Consort Jing goes with her because they are girlfriends besties, and because she is a consistently nice person who deserves all the good things in the world. Spoiler: Both of these women survive, they stay friends, things work out well for both of them and for their sons. Go ahead and root for them! 

Because the haunted palace belongs to the late Empress, mother of the Emperor and of Grand Princess Liyang, these BFFs are ideally placed to overhear some important scheming, involving some drugged wine that’s been sitting around in this part of the compound for like 30 years. 

They realize that someone is planning to sexually assault a woman by using this drugged wine, and Nihuang is the obvious candidate, since her marriage plans are all anyone’s talking about now. Consort Jing tells Concubine Hua to forget all about this and not get involved in palace drama, but she immediately gets to work intervening in the situation herself. 

Training 

Over at the Xie guesthouse, Mei Changsu is training the kiddies in a special sword formation designed to beat Baili Qi. They sure do have pretty sword forms for a bunch of kids who have never held a sword. Also, someone’s chalk skills are off the chain.

Mei Changsu tells Fe Liu that they have to be faster, so Fe Liu tells them “go faster” and they do, which is apparently the essence of learning martial arts. 

Mu Nihuang shows up and sees right through all of this, making it clear she needs a miracle to get her out of this unwanted marriage. Mei Changsu tells her that he’s got it covered. She says that she believes him, although she’s not sure why. 

Then they stand there gazing heatedly at each other, like you do when you are two random people who have never met until recently, and definitely have never gotten each other off even a little bit. 

Embroidery Flexing

Meanwhile, Consort Jing sets out to save Nihuang from the wine/marriage plot, through the power of embroidery. 

In order to do this she has to make embroidered scent sachets for the Dowager Empress, the Empress, the Grand Princess, and Consort Yue, which she does before going to bed for the night, apparently. Consort Jing kicks ass. 

She makes sure that the Dowager Empress, who is a sweetheart, will be pleased enough with her sachet that she will invite Consort Jing into the room, which will give her an opportunity to present the actually important sachet to Grand Princess Liyang. 

Communication was complicated, before cell phones. 

Once they’re alone, Consort Jing tells Grand Princess Liyang about the plot to force Nihuang to marry Sima Lei. She tells her in the most round-about, triggery way possible, because she needs Liyang to have a flashback, I guess? Otherwise we wouldn’t get to watch her own Mom drugging her to force her to marry Xie Yu. 

Thanks, Mom, I’d be happy to drink this cup of obvious poison. Mom is terrible but her crown is awesome. 

Anyway, once Liyang knows what’s up, she’s on board with team Save Nihuang From Having To Marry A Creep Like My Own Husband.

Clean-shaven Xie Yu: even creepier than regular Xie Yu and also very shiny. Beautiful costume, though. Why are they dressing the flashback villains so nicely? 

Side note: presumably Liyang and her mom didn’t know she was already pregnant when they brought Xie Yu into the mix? Because if they had known, she would probably have been fine with just, like, consenting to marry someone or other, to keep her reputation intact. Anyway it’s worth noting that this whole situation is about appearances, not about whether anyone is actually a literal virgin. 

The Laughing Prince

Jingyan comes for a visit to see how the training is going, and he and Mei Changsu have a sitdown. Mei Changsu tells him that he’s come to town to make sure that the two main contenders for the throne don’t get it, and that he’s going to work to make Jingyan the next emperor. 

Then they stand there gazing at each other, like strangers who definitely have never gotten each other off even a little bit. 

Then Jingyan laughs at him

Jingyan thinks it’s impossible that he would ever be emperor, but he’s happy to go along with Mei Changsu’s plans if it will keep his jerk brothers from winning. 

Building Team Jingyan

Late at night, Meng Zhi drops by to look at Tingsheng and say that he resembles Prince Qi, which he totally doesn’t, but Chinese dramas really don’t worry about casting people who resemble each other to play twins or whatever, so we can take Meng Zhi’s word for it. 

They talk about the Make-Prince-Jing-The-Emperor plan, with Meng Zhi wanting to help out, and Mei Changsu wanting to make sure that only his own hands get dirty with all the schemey stuff he’s planning. 

Hu Ge is really good at talking directly to the camera without looking into the lens. It’s a good technique for intense moments and because he doesn’t look straight into the lens, it doesn’t break the fourth wall. 

Building Team Nihuang

Liyang has spent the day trying to warn Nihuang about the roofie wine situation, but can’t reach her due to a lack of cell phones and/or embroidery skills. 

So she takes the daring step of going to Mei Changsu’s guest house--on her own dang property--which is such a high risk endeavor she has to wear a fancy cloak and cary a super obvious fancy lantern.  God forbid a woman walk around her own house at night.  Anyway, she’s able to pass the warning to Mei Changsu, and asks him to pass it to Nihuang. 

Of course that’s when her husband comes knocking, presumably looking for some affection--he actually is a nice husband who genuinely loves his wife, within the context of a society in which rape is perfectly fine, anyway. 

Her junior servants are freaked out, because visiting a man, even your own houseguest, alone at night is not perfectly fine, so if he catches her, they’re all dead, basically. But the elder servant tells them to chill and just watch how she handles it. 

She politely tells Xie Yu that his wife was reminded of their first date, and so maybe he should leave her and her feelings and her sharp hairpins and whatnot alone for a while. (I’m inferring the hairpins.) He looks slightly terrified and immediately withdraws.