#my mother is an alien i swear to god

[1800jjbarnes]

◇ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎: 𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 - 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 ◇

Out Of This World

【Synopsis】 : You were gifted an Asgardian plant from Thor since he knew you loved greenery. Little did anyone know the pollen had some weird side effects when inhaled.

『W.C.』 : 3.17k

-> Genre: Fluff. Smut

Pairing: Avenger!Bucky x Assassin!Reader

[Warnings] : Swearing. Crying. Making out. This is slightly dub-con. Neck kisses. Hickies. Possessiveness. Slight toxic thoughts. Breast play. Begging. Dirty talk. Unprotected sex. Lots of emotion.

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“Hey so has anyone seen Peach? we’re about to leave.” Steve was walking around like a worried mother, trying to find you before you all were supposed to leave for this event thingy they had agreed to attend. You weren’t in the mood for parties or galas at any time of day or night. So you disappearing before one wasn’t a surprise.

“I’ll go look for her. She's probably in her room trying to find a place for that new plant Thor gave her from off planet.” Bucky rolled his eyes, knowing his best friend all too well, heading straight for your room which was situated on the same level as his in the compound. A couple of days ago, Thor had returned from his trip back to his home and had gifted everyone with something from there. So, of course, you are a planet lover. He brought you one of the exotic flowers. Bruce pestered on how ‘we don’t know what that plant could do. Is it even safe’ but Thor reassured everybody that it was fine. And that he had no clue what the plant was anyway. So with that, Bucky said he’d catch up with them and take his bike later with you rather than make them wait.

While this ordeal was unravelling, you were frantically holding the said flower in a beautiful pot that Loki had gifted you along with it. You had so many plants as it is that you’ve realized there was no room for the newest addition. A knock at your door startled you almost to the point of dropping the poor guy all over the floor. But luckily, your reflexes kicked in quicker than usual. “Come in!”

You knew it was most likely someone like Tony or Steve coming to parade you about ‘getting ready for the gala’ but you seriously didn’t want to go. It wasn’t like you hated your friends or the party per se. You just hated people in general. And why, you may ask? Because people are loud, rude, narcissistic, and most importantly, stuck up. Half the time, people love to walk all over you because of your job. Given that you and the others were Avengers, people only looked at you in two different views. Scum that brought danger to earth. Or these kinds of saviours, superheroes. God even. Something you didn’t consider yourself as. So either way, you didn’t want the interaction. So staying home it is.

“Give me one good excuse why you are still in your pyjamas running around like an idiot holding an alien plant and maybe, just maybe I’ll consider you not going to this lame party a good enough reason.” Bucky's voice brought you to a halt, your head snapping back down towards the little Kitchen/Entrance. Your nose was scrunched up, making Buck know you were trying to think of a lie. You were never good at them, always having a tell clear as the day. He just scoffed, slipping his shoes off so he could walk into your room. “So, what’s your excuse, Doll?”

“It’s uhh…” You half smiled, tip-toeing toward the large male. “I need to find a spot for my son.” You shove it in his face in an almost innocent manner. Bucky held in his chuckle, staring at the strange purple-looking plant. He had to tilt his head, noticing it was moving almost like it was breathing. Shaking off the weird thought, his gaze looked back up to your wide eyes. The sparkles in the corner of them made his heart flutter. You loved nature so much, from the simplest things like flowers and fruits to the weirdest in Bucky's opinion, Moss, Fungi, and vines.

“Son?” He had to chuckle.

“Yes, my son. Isn’t he pretty? I need to find a spot for him.” You brought the plant to your chest, inspecting him with such innocent eyes. Oh, what Bucky would give for you to look at him like that. You were perfect in every way. Even if you are shy, introverted. You smiled at everyone, making any of your teammates feel like they were the centre of your attention. But every time you gave him that same smile, he felt like he was the centre of your world. Like nothing else mattered but you two and your longing stares. Maybe his crush on you has gotten out of hand, and maybe he should just ‘man up’ as Sam puts it and tell you how he feels.

But he doesn’t want you to stop looking at him like that. Like he could do no wrong. That he wasn’t a monster, an outsider. Like he thinks he is. No, your smile would just say he was one thing. Human.

“Well, I guess you’ll need to name your son too.” Bucky steps a little closer to you, now both staring down at the plant with the beautiful purple and gold patterning on its petals. You hummed in response, beginning to think of all the stupid names you could give it, but then something strange began to happen. The plant swayed, but there was no breeze. Its leaves wrapped slowly around the stem, and then slowly, it squished itself down. What was it doing? You knew it was an alien plant, but this was definitely not something a plant should do… right?

“Has it done that before?” Bucky asks.

“No It’s onl―” Your words were cut off when a bright purple powder suddenly exploded from the plant landing straight onto your and Bucky's faces. From the reaction, you dropped the plant, making the soil go everywhere on the floor by your feet. You hissed at the pollen-like substance sticking to your eyes. you could hear Bucky also groan in protest, more likely from the same thing.

“What the fuck!?” Bucky yelled. “I’m going to kill Thor and Loki, I swear to god.” He manages to get the sticky purple dust out from his eyes, letting him open them to see you cowering with your fingers desperately trying to get the dust off you. “Honey, hey… come here.” His hands cupped your face, using his thumbs to gently wipe away all the dust he could.

“Why is everything purple?” You blinked a couple of times, noticing your surroundings were tainted in a violet-like hue. Bucky didn’t want to scare you, but he, too, had the same view. He helped guide you to the sink in the kitchen, putting the tap on so he could splash some water on yours and his face. The purple slowly went away, but the hue was still slightly there. Drying your face with some paper towel, you suddenly felt an odd shiver pour down your spine. You gulped, having a hot flush start to wash over you as if someone turned up the AC. You took a step back leaning against the countertop, trying your best to shake the uncomfortable feeling.

“Are you okay, Doll?” You looked up from the floor to see Bucky with rigged breathing. His nostrils were flared, and his mouth was slightly agape. He had a fire burning in him, making all his blood go straight to his cock. Eyes hazy, and voice deep and growled. He sounded like a predator coaxing his prey.

“I…I don’t know.” You had no clue how to explain with you felt, but all your mind could understand was that you needed something, someone to help get rid of the pain. A sharp stab pierces your chest, making you hiccup before falling onto the floor. Bucky was quick to meet you on the ground, gripping onto your arm, holding you up. His touch sent sparks to your dripping core. You needed him. “J-Jamie I need help…”

Your whimper made Bucky groan, shaking his head in an attempt to suppress his needs. He couldn’t think straight, only thinking about what your pussy could feel like. No, you’re his friends! His friend that he had the biggest crush on. But no, he can’t just pin you down this very floor and fuck the life out of you… right? “H-honey, please. Do you know what kind of plant that is?”

“Loki said uh, it…it was a samfar? Samfarir?” You tried to remember the conversation you had with Thor and Loki when they gave you the plant, but your mind kept wondering to… other things. you layed down on the cold tiles in the hope you could cool yourself down. Bucky had let go of you leaning against the cabinet along the wall. He sighs, raking his fingers through his damp hair. He knew what this plant was.

“Fuck… That fucking dick. It’s a sex plant.” Bucky's words made your eyes snap open, sitting up to look at him in a what the fuck did you say expression. “It’s a plant from his home planet that is supposed to help intercourse. But they stopped the practise cause of one downside.”

“What…What's the downside James?!” You sat on your knees, placing your hand on his hot thigh. Your innocent touch alone made his cock twitch. His eyes met yours and the temptation to kiss you was becoming increasingly difficult.

“You don’t have sex. You die.” He said it bluntly. “I found out from a conversation Tony was having with them. Asking if there was something to help boost his sex life. Typical…” He scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Now there was a stalemate cause lets face it as much as he wants to, he wasn’t about to ask if you wanna fuck. How would he even ask such a question? And plus his crush on you doesn’t help him in this situation. He watched you wiggle, feeling your pussy begin to drip through your shorts. God, he could smell you too. Everything was making his hair stand up. Your scent, your heavy pants, the way your eyes were glossed, practically begging him to do something, anything.

“If that’s the case…” you trailed off, scooting close to him, placing your free hand on his forearm. He suddenly jumped, pushing himself away from you, making you flinch. You didn’t want this either. You were so in love with Bucky since the first day you met, and you did not expect this to be the way you’d be intimate with him. But him pushing away from you hurt so much. You put your hands in your lap, feeling your heartbreak. Maybe he thought death was better than having sex with you.

“Hey wait I uh…” Buck saw the panic in your eyes, seeing tears start to form, moving back to grab your hands, making you look at him. “I didn’t mean…fuck. Uh. I don’t know wha…” Bucky cut himself off with a hitch. You look so desperate, your tongue sticking out to lick your lips slightly. His hands gripped tighter on yours, forgetting all of his past thoughts, past restraints. You and he can just talk later, right? “Fuck.”

He cupped your face, smashing his lips on yours. It was single-handedly the best kiss you’ve ever experienced. His tongue slipped inside quickly, attacking your own. He drew out moans from you that he thought he’d never hear. Your fingers intertwine with his jacket. He was forceful, pushing you down onto the cold hard floor, pushing his thigh between your legs so he could brush it against your core. The pressure was the relief you needed, bucking your hips without a second thought. Everything was happening so quickly, but neither of you cared anymore. “J-Jamess…”

Buck swallowed your words, biting down on your bottom lips before pulling away, drawing a sharp gasp of pain from you. There were no words shared. No, only your bodies spoke. Telling one another, you needed the other. Your hands ran up his biceps, digging into the leather on him. He kisses the corner of your mouth before slipping down towards your jaw, then neck, before stopping on your collarbone sucking harshly. His teeth grazed your shoulder, using his metal hand to help tug down your shirt slightly so he could sink his K-nines into your skin. He didn’t want this to be a memory by the end of it. He needed to leave evidence on your body to show you and himself that this was indeed real and it was happening. Your hips hadn’t stopped there slow grind against his thigh, making his light jeans deepen in colour from your wetness. His hand moved from your shoulder, gliding down to your hem. He tugged it at first, seeing how loose it was before getting his other hand to pull the opposite way, ripping the fabric in half.

“Pretty.” he sat on his calves, seeing the laced black bra you were sporting. Your chest rose and fell at each breath, making him bite his lip and eyes darken. You were more beautiful than he could have imagined. All his late-night wet dreams, fucking his fist at the sheer thought of you would never compare to what his gaze met with now. And he never wanted to let it go. You were going to be his whether you liked it or not. He took his shirt all as well before diving back into your kissing along your breasts before pulling down your bra letting your tits spill over the top. You did have time to say anything before he latched his mouth on your hard nipple, while his thumb rolled over the other.

You cried, feeling tears prickle against the corner of your eyes. You moaned his name over and over, trying to find any type of pressure to heal the ache from below. It was like his mind knew your body, noticing the sign of plea. He gave one last suck on your nipples before pulling away with an audible pop. Your eyes opened slightly to see his dark blue pair staring at you with intensity. It was like he was scanning your body, making sure to remember every scar, beauty mark, freckle, and stretch mark so he could reply this event later in his mind. His hand cupped your mould, feeling heat pooling from it. If it wasn’t for the plant clouding your judgment, you’d most definitely be embarrassed. But you didn’t, so all you did was buck your hips into his hand, spreading your legs more for him to have his way with you.

“Please. I’m yours, Bucky. Do something. Anything to me. Have me, however you want. Just please make it stop hurting.” Your words made Bucky stop for a moment. Even though this plant affected both of you, it seemed that his mind was clearer than yours. His enhancements must be helping him from completely losing his mind. His face was inches from yours, gripping your chin with his fingers, making you focus on him. He needed to confess before he continued, even if neither of you believed it and blamed the plant afterwards. He needed to tell you what he felt.

“I love you, Doll. I’ve loved you since you arrived as a new recruit. I’m so madly in love half the time I don’t know what to do without you being by my side. And I swear to fucking god, I’ll take you out and treat you like the queen you are afterwards but for now, I’m going to fuck you like our lives depend on it.” He sealed his lips on yours once last time before sitting up to pull your pants down.

“Our lives do depend on it.” you halfheartedly chuckled, groaning at the cool air blowing on your bare cunt. He threw your pants across the room, unzipping his and pulling them down enough to pull his cock out. You gulped at his size, knowing he must be big but he was…definitely big. He placed his hand on the base of his cock while the other snaked the back of your neck, bringing your bodies close together. Your breath was mixing together and your eyes never left his, brows knitting slowly as you felt his tip push against your soaked hole. “I love you… I love you so much.”

“Fuck.” he bottomed you out making you hiss at the pain since neither of you prepped. But the pain was short-lived as he started thrusting slowly. His head fell into the crook of your neck letting you wrap your arms around his broad back. Your nails dug in harder with each snap of his hips. His cock was hitting all the right places, feeling his pelvis rub against your clit perfectly and his balls hit your ass with each moan and gasp that slipped off your tongue. Everything was overwhelming yet perfectly balanced at the same time. You cried, not just from the intense pleasure but from Bucky's words previously. Your purple-hued vision slowly became normal, and your mind unfogged.

The plant's influence slowly left your and Bucky's system, leaving just your raw feelings for one another. Neither of you pulled away. Neither of you wanted to run. You were perfectly content in each other's arms. Locking your lips in a non-verbal seal of love. You were his, and he was yours whether either of you voiced that neither of you cared. You only cared for his body caging you on the hard cold floor while he only needed your cunt to keep squeezing him before you both were coming undone. It was sticky, messy, loving and raw. And it was just the way you both dreamed it would be.

[incorrect-soc]

The crows as random stuff I've written on my notes app:

Kaz: "I love writing in caps mid-sentence- It really adds that psychopathic spark into my life"

Inej: "Permanently listening to Taylor Swift because murder is "illegal" or whatever"

Jesper: "I'm sorry but, in all honesty, how hard is it truly to dress up according to the MG theme? Are celebrities really that stupid?"

Wylan: "Love how ppl would rather believe in aliens than in slavery (yes, this is very much abt the egyptian pyramids)"

Nina: "There's something abt the clean version of a song that just gives me the absolute ick- Like, ffs, god forbid a raging woman swears-"

Matthias: "Being pale and having a cold usually means looking like a victorian child dying from the plague and begging their mother to take them outside so they can see the garden one last time-"

[gayspacemonk]

the director/tone switch between Alien and Aliens is very jarring, in the first movie Ripley is very clearly an cool headed, focused person. of course we know she cares about the crew, and obviously she's not cruel since she put herself at risk to save Jonesy, but the first movie was very progressive in the matter of putting a woman character who leads in a "get the job done" way instead of a motherly, nurturing way. personally, I appreciated that, we don't need Ripley to be motherly, her being nurturing wouldn't be very consistent giving that she was willing to risk Kane's life to preserve the crew instead of trying to save him at any cost.

and then the second movie really wants us to see Ripley as a mother for some reason. sure, anyone would care for a child in distress, but Aliens Ripley cares for Newt in a way that feels very uncharacteristic if we remember this is still Alien Ripley. even if we think about it with an eye of "oh she went through character development, she regretted not being more caring at Nostromo" it doesn't make any sense, because??? Ripley wasn't wrong??? if they sticked to the procedure like Ripley said to, maybe all of that wouldn't have gone down??? if anything, Ripley's ability to remain cool headed is supposed to be even stronger now, since, you know, that's what kept her alive. but that's not the worst of it, the worst of it is that they felt the need to add a sprinkle of heterosexual flirting between Hicks and Ripley and James Cameron I better not see you walking down the street when I'm driving my subaru.

anyway, to sum up the point I'm trying to make: Alien makes it very clear that it doesn't matter if Ripley is a man or woman, there's a fucking alien in this ship. it doesn't bank on traditional gender roles, the story and characterization wouldn't be any different if Ripley were a man, and that's what makes it an amazing movie. now, Aliens is banking on traditional gender roles on many different aspects, the story and characters would be VERY different if Ripley was a man, and if that was the case, till this day, swear to god, we would be flooding AO3 with Ripley/Hicks yaoi omegaverse

[stopaskinf]

“I wish you roses, and roses, and roses, and roses”

Summary: Flowers and attached notes of BTS boys

Genre: Fluff, angst(?), descriptions of hardships and arguments between Tae and Reader but ending is hopeful

CW: Nothing

A/N: Who would have known my fall back into flower language would align with me doing my first prompt challenge thing. I used a bunch of them, so they will be highlighted in the notes.

Giving credit to @writinginstardust for their huge brain🫡‼️‼️ 🫶🫶

Jungkook: sunflowers, yellow tulips, red tulips

“For my sweetest pookie.

I can’t write much on this card because the company gave me a word limit. Poor me. Can you feel my pout through this? I wanted to tell you that I dreamt about you last night. I saw it so clearly. It was late at night and we were stargazing outside. Bam was sprawled out on our laps like the lazy kid he is while you talked to me about your day, childhood, and everything. I don’t remember which story you were on but I remember you smiling at the end. God, I told you how much I love your smile right? I want to see it again soon. Seeing your blinding smile, I rush back into the house to fish for this bouquet. When I gave you the flowers, you rolled your pretty eyes. Still, you gave me the warmest smile I’d ever seen. It felt like deja vu.

- From Jungkook”

Yoongi: tarragon, daisies, morning glory, gardenia

“Hello dear.

I’ve missed you. Last night I woke up in an insomniac haze. For a second I thought that I was home. I saw you standing in the shadows gazing into me. I came to you and you held me while I clung to you. You smelt like vanilla and lavender. You smelt like home. Then reality hit me like a brick. Genuinely. Once my vision cleared I had a thumping migraine between my eyes and a stiff-as-shit neck. You always did tell me not to fall asleep in my studio chair. I spent the next hour lying in the dark on my studio couch like a wounded orphan. I wish I had told you. I should have told you. I would have been less alone. Less in pain. I don’t think I’m cut out for this job, I swear.

I can see you rolling your eyes, but I mean it this time. I’m coming home tomorrow. Finally, I can’t wait. - Yoongi”

V: Saliva (Red, blue, purple), Red carnation, baby’s breath

“Hi, clover.

You miss me?

I miss you. I’ve been thinking about you all day. I feel dreary. I’m working on a small ceramic mushroom…It’s not going well, It’s too lopsided. The sky is covered in a light gray fog. I hear the rain splash against the windows while Yeontan barks. We were supposed to see each other but I’m all alone now. Are you still upset? I was harsh. I felt the fearful pain of you leaving me, so I was determined to hurt you back. To make you feel what I felt so strongly. However, when I went back to lick my wounds, memories of our bliss came back stronger. Every touch. Every kiss. Every midnight walk we had when we both couldn’t sleep. The mornings waking up together. I was a fool. I always am, but more so in these moments.

When I see you again, can I hold your hand? I miss your warmth. And you - Your Alien”

Jin: red roses, pink roses, white roses

“Did you know my mother adores you?

Yeah, you’re all she ever talks about. “Oh, they’re so sweet.”

“Have you no manners? You see them looking so beautiful and you don’t say anything?”

“Yah, Seokjin how’s my favorite child doing?” Then when I tell her I’m fine, she goes “Quit joking, you know who I’m talking about.” How upsetting! I’m her actual son, but compared to you I’m chopped liver! Still, I can’t blame her. I’m the same way. I missed you during enlistment. I also missed the boys. Though not as much when compared to you. I see them 360 days out of the year. They’re staples in my life, but you…you’re my world.

My private heaven. My home. And I’ve been away from my home far too long. I intend to fix that. Get ready!

- From, Kim Seokjin ♥️”

Namjoon: Magnolia, cactus, succulents, aloe

“

“If the devil were to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent.” - Farouq Jwaydeh

Good morning, my Divine. I hope your day is going well. Mine could be better. It’s not bad, but not great. Just a day. I’m in a rut. I went to the studio and tried to write but my slack brain didn’t want to. Instead, it wants to focus on you. Where is my love? Have they finished the book I gave them? Have they thought about me today? As I think about them every day? How often do they think of me? I could close my eyes and still envision them perfectly. It’s wrapped itself in roses and lilies and recites love poems and scenarios. It’s excruciating shit. So, I’ll give it and myself an outlet. For starters, do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting. You’ve left me so lovesick that I’m borderline diseased. My waking hours are anguishing. My feet feel heavy and my head spins. My third rib begs for its return to my body so that my heart can be caged away once again. I know this is a lot to take in. I want to talk about it more with you when I’m less of a shell of a man. I won’t resent you if you don’t reciprocate. I’ll be pained, but I’ll come back to you. If do you reciprocate…Either way, say you want me, and I’m yours. - Kim Namjoon”

J-hope: honeysuckle, forget me nots, chrysanthemum (red)

“Hellooooooo. I hope your day has been as lovely as you are, honey. By the way, what kind of jewelry do you like best? I can’t pick. Gold makes you look stunningly regal but Silver shows the depth of your skin and eyes. This bouquet and the jewelry were both supposed to be same-day gifts, but the company never gave me any damn updates! How unfair is that! So now, these gifts have been forced apart. It’s so cruel. 🥲

I know I could call you about this instead, but it’s too different. I’ve been gone too long. I said I needed a refresh. A moment to connect back to what I want in life. Well, I have! The sky is so clear. The sun is shining. The forecast said there would be nice weather. They were absolutely right. My feet feel lighter. So does my heart. The cloud that hung over me has gone and I’ve stepped out of the box that’s kept me trapped. I’m ready to take my first step, but I want you there with me.

Tell me what you want.

Of the jewelry, I mean. I can’t afford to spend the whole day shopping! I love you. - Jung Hoseok”

Jimin: white jasmine, hibiscus, daffodils, white camellia

“Hello Darling ♥️.

I just realized how much I love you.

Well, not just realized, but I still needed to remind you. It sounds corny, but I’m very sincere. Besides, there’s no occasion for when you should declare your love right? Sure, there are preferred moments, but what’s wrong with keeping love fresh and exciting? Shouldn’t you want your lover to voice their love for you every day?

No, but honestly, It’s crazy, really. No one’s ever made me feel like this.

I’ve dreamt about this for as long as can remember, but only now have I found it. The person who I thought of every second of every day. The person who colored my dreams at night. The one I envisioned whenever I sang love songs. The one who I searched high and low for without fail or doubt.

I’ve waited so long for this.

So long…

I just needed to remind you. I’ll spend the rest of our lives reminding you. So don’t worry, I’m here. - Love Mochi”

[darkpoisonouslove]

HotD S02E05

I had things to say about this episode before I'd even watched it, which I'm sure tells you that everything is magnificent and I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I see we've now established a pattern of one episode being more setup and then the following having all the good stuff. I'm just kind of running out of patience and tolerance for the bullshit writing decisions that I'm forced to witness all over the place.

I see that the writers are really going to ignore Meleys killing all of those people during Aegon's coronation just to make a fool of Criston and make a victory that's already cost a lot cost even more. Personally, if I'd heard about all the people that were crushed by a dragon during the king's coronation and then I saw the same dragon killed, I'd be relieved at least, if not cheering. We heard so much about how killing the ratcatchers was bad because it alienated the Small Folk, but apparently avenging all the deaths of said Small Folk at your coronation is also somehow bad for PR? How am I supposed to take this as anything but anti green propaganda at worst and a sloppy plot device at best?

I swear to fucking god, if I have to hear one more time about how peaceful things were under Viserys' rule, I'm flipping a table. As if Viserys isn't solely responsible for this whole mess by not managing things better at least if he couldn't be bothered to keep it in his pants and not have any more children. I for sure enjoyed Rhaenyra admitting that he didn't teach her shit but it's so very funny how she says that now while in 1x10 she was explaining to Luke how her father passed all this knowledge down to her and she'd do the same for him. The writers are clowns.

I love how they were so set on making Aegon look like a fool, especially in last episode, but Rhaenyra is in the exact same position! How is her Council talking over her not the same as Aegon's council pretending he's not even there? And yet the show's framing is so insistent on how that's a great hurdle for her to overcome while in Aegon's case it's proof that he's not worthy to be king. To be pretty fucking honest Aegon is at a disadvantage because he's younger. Rhaenyra had time to prepare herself but she was the one who chose to hole herself up in Dragonstone and have sex with Daemon instead of being in King's Landing and ruling in her father's stead and building her positions.

Not Jace complaining about being kept safe at home to the same girl that his mother is treating as disposable just to not risk his ass. And they had to have Baela comforting him.

I've seen people complaining that Daemon is not supposed to remember his mother and they just included this willful incest to make him look worse. Enjoy! Clearly he's manifesting his complexes about being the most suited heir to the throne by having mommy tell him so and take him as a lover because he's just so great.

He's really funny, though. He's threatening left and right and then he can't even follow through because he knows he stands no chance without the people he was just threatening to burn alive. At least when Criston was threatening executions, he committed to them. Literally how are the Blacks in such deep shit when they have more dragons and more houses pledged to them? Looks like a skill issue.

They fumbled my Criston x Alicent x Larys love triangle so bad. I wasn't expecting them to actually do the funny thing, though they still can! With the way things went between Alicent and Criston, now is the perfect time for Larys to pull some Parent Trap shit to make sure Alicent is indulging. I think Alicent might be more receptive to hearing him out than Criston. His argument was the only one that wasn't based on her own mistakes in recent weeks. But he is now essentially saying "you have to make the sacrifice for our cause" when just last episode he wanted her to stop her self-sacrificial agenda and start giving into her impulses. The way that things have shifted since then is insane.

I see people also going "gotcha" at Alicent for the fact that the Small Council didn't back her claim and I must say... As a staunch Alicent supporter, who has constant brainrot about her, I have to agree with their decision. Alicent has done nothing but hinder them at every turn with her refusal to go against Rhaenyra. Thank god they don't know about her Sept escapades with Rhaenyra or they might have wanted her punished for treason. But yes, if I saw this woman completely ignore the fact that her six-year-old grandson was decapitated, I wouldn't trust her to lead me either. The way the writers have chosen to make her act is just completely nonsensical.

Listen, I know it's the same country and everything so the battle strategies would be mostly the same but I can't get over how copy-pasted HotD and GoT feel. The fact that both sides have dragons here should change things drastically and yet...

Daemon having the nerve to comment how awful of a person Aemond is. I'm sorry, did you project too hard? Tbh I hate how they've changed Aemond's character completely from the book and from the first season where he could have easily gotten the throne for himself but he didn't. And all of that just to have their parallels between Daemon and Aemond and still manipulate the viewers into siding with Daemon. I mean sure, he's refusing to recognize Rhaenyra as his ruler but he's still talking about them ruling together. Meanwhile Aemond went and straight up Dracarys-ed his brother. I have no words left anymore. Just fucking change everything so that Rhaenyra wins and put me out of my misery already. It's clear that that's what they want to the point where I'm not sure how they'll keep true to the story.

Corlys finally deciding to make Baela heir to Driftmark is the epitome of too little, too late. The fact that they made her decline too and with that stupid explanation. As if Joffrey or whoever's now named heir to Driftmark isn't "fire and blood" either. Istg this show fucking hates everyone that isn't Rhaenyra or her children.

Daemon, you had one job! Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say the same for Aemond because I hear he burns the Riverlands in the book. Like, bud, how'd you fumble that so bad? They are yours for the taking (assuming this isn't something the writers just invented).

Love how they gave Rhaenyra one (1) idea in sending Ser Alfred to deal with Daemon and then instantly upstaged it with Jace's idea for the Dragonseeds. Almost as if they are so afraid to let Rhaenyra do anything that they have the men around her do her ruling for her. I mean, this could blow up in their faces.

I have to say that I'm not even excited about next episode. What do I have to look forward to? The writers continuing to butcher all the other characters for the sake of their team Black agenda?

[mari-the-tortured-poet]

“i’m at war with myself, it’s a losing game”

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[mysticalsoot]

mission sims and missing cues

a continuation of my self-indulgent boarding school au

A/N; i am so in love with this au.. I've got like two other fics for this ay in the works. lmk if yall want more of this-- totally did not expect this to be this long but I mean that's okay. also thanks to lilly and elliot for just being motivation to finish this-- and thank YOU for all the love on my writing cause holy fucking mother of gOD there's 110 of you now?? what??

summary; reader and wilbur are close friends and classmates but both have feelings for each other without the other knowing! they're thrown into a mission simulation together as commander and pilot and slight flirting ensues.

tw// swearing, maybe a smidge of suggestive flirting, definitely thoughts

words; 6.3k

pairings; cc!wilbur x gn!reader

pronouns; they/them and use of y/n!

masterlist

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You loved every part of your school, you loved the classes, the teachers, and the activities but you couldn't help but favor the Mission Simulations above all else.

They were the most laid-back part of your academics, and it was a hands on experience that you could have any part in. You had the opportunity to do anything and everything with positions and experience and outcome. 

Although you were truly partial to being commander, you didn't mind any other position you found yourself in. Missions usually spanned around a week but in sessions. First two sessions would be training, and test runs, the third session would start the first half of the mission running about three hours and then the second half would be in the fourth session. You absolutely adored how they did this and found you got the most out of it, a real feeling for the position and role you'd be in and you could make a decision on if you liked it or not—and if you wanted to try the same position on a different mission another time.

Today's session was the first half, a three-hour run of the school's Mars Mission Sim and you had gotten the commander position. Your pilot being Wilbur. He was rather ecstatic about his role, only been put in mission specialist or station roles before—he was excited to be front and center in the mission, though it didn't really matter, he was just excited for a change of pace.

"So, have you come up with a 'first human on Mars' speech or do you need me to come up with it?" Wilbur is snarky in a playful way in the tone he uses, tossing a hash brown into his mouth as he watches you from the other side of the cafeteria table. You roll your eyes at him and fold your arms over your chest.

"Well, no-" He cuts you off.

"Good! I've come up with one!" He starts by standing up in a grandiose manner, not paying mind to any of the students on other teams staring at him.

"One step for humankind, one great step for alien kind!" He makes exaggerated steps, only a few before your crew trainer, Andy, looks over at Wilbur with this gaze of 'please sit down or I'm telling Evan' and he's quick to find his seat back in front of you.

"You're one of my favorites Wilbur, but you should be in drama school," Andy scoffs, looking down at his tray before standing and walking away to take care of it. Your gaze follows him before landing back on Wilbur in front of you. His elbow rested on the table and his eyes look past you.

You hum, "He's right, you should've applied to drama school instead," Then you shrug, chuckling to yourself as Wilbur's gaze lands onto you, turned into a playful glare.

"And miss out on the opportunity to steal my brother's best friend away from him? Never." His eyes shine with a playfulness to them, and he smirks. 

"So I'm just a pawn?" You put your hand over your heart in mock offense, a smirk of your own curling on your lips.

"Oh yes, just a pawn," 

Andy finds his way back to his spot, and he opens his teacher's binder to check the schedule, "I don't want to know what you two are talking about, do I?" He doesn't look up as he adjusts his glasses and sifts through the different pages.

"Wilbur says I'm just a pawn," You tell him and Wilbur gawks at you, offended at how quickly you told on him.

Andy looks up and ahead and then at you and then back at Wilbur, eyebrows knitted together and concern glazing over his irises, "Pawn in what?"

"My master plan to steal them away from Tech," Wilbur speaks nonchalantly, his glare dissipating and turning into a look of pride.

Andy hums, looks over at Wilbur and says, "Good luck with that." His attention is brought back to his binder before checking the time on his phone. He begins ushering the team to finish up with their meal, take care of their trays and stand in front of the glass wall just a few feet behind you when they're done.

"First one to the wall gets to say the first words on Mars," Wilbur smiles at you, eyes glinting with mischief and you can tell by his body language, he's ready to sprint.

"Okay, fine," You shrug and let him get a head start, subtly speed-walking over to clean up his meal, and take care of his tray. Although, subtly isn't the most accurate descriptor, his legs are long enough all he has to do is take longer strides and he can beat you almost immediately. You take your time, walking normally and then speeding up for a second, but you're still behind. Wilbur looks behind him at you and frowns.

"Why are you walking?" He tilts his head at you, stopping in his tracks.

"I don't want to win," You shrug at him, taking a few steps forward and follow behind him in line.

"Why not?" He's still facing you, his back towards the front of the line and you both put the tray's on the counter, taking care of the dishes and trash and putting them in their respective spots. Plastics, paper, plates, utensils, etc.

"Everyone will hear me and only a drama queen like yourself should get to say it," You smile lightly at your own comment, and you're out of line a moment later. You both stand by the exit of the short hall, the glass wall a few feet away from you both.

"You're such a pussy," He smiles and shakes his head as he runs off over to the glass wall, and you follow, yelling after him.

"Wilbur!" You grumble as you follow him, hot on his heels and of course, he's the first at the wall, his hand pressed against the glass and he sticks his tongue out at you, "You can't say that!"

He smirks, leaning down closer to your face teasingly and your breath hitches in your throat, "And why not?" 

You huff, moving to stand against the wall next to him instead of in front of him. You fold your arms over your chest and tilt your head up to meet his eyes, an annoyed glare filling your own, "You could get us both in trouble with that language, mister."

He leans down again, "Doesn't sound like a horrible idea, at least we'll be in trouble together," He smirks slightly, attempting to avert your attention from how pink his cheeks are, and how nervous his breath is.

"Wilbur," You warn, poking his chest and he giggles, leaning against the glass wall with you as you both wait for the rest of your team to meet you.

The rest of the kids take their time with meeting everyone else at the glass wall, both you and Wilbur growing anxious at how long it was taking. You tilt your head forward to look down the line for Tommy, making sure he isn't causing any mayhem too great for Andy. And then you lean back when you see he's just talking with his friends.

It seems that both you and Wilbur found yourselves at the front of the line, the rest of your classmates assumingly lining behind you both as a buffer between them and their crew trainer. To keep Andy from hearing the things they say, probably. He's heard it all from you and Wilbur, so he's far from bothered by whatever stupid thing one of you may say next.

It's a few moments and then he's at the front of the line, leading the hoard of kids down the ramp and around the corner in front of the training room. As per usual, only you and Wilbur are the ones in a proper line and it doesn't surprise anyone. Everyone else could care less and it didn't bother you or Will to speak to each other without facing one another. Plus, if anyone got in trouble for taking up too much space, at least it wouldn't be you or him.

Andy stops the group at the fence blocking off the training room and he tells everyone to stay put as he leaves to go into the back and talk to the trainers running today's mission. You and Wilbur decide to take a spot by the wall, and sit on the floor. You're squeezed up against him slightly, the rest of the group causing you both to get a bit squished. You do your best to hide the red that begins to crawl up your cheeks, looking away from him in hopes he won't notice. He does the same, without you knowing. Both of you are desperately trying to hide any inkling at the feelings you both harbor for one another. Letting that truth through creates vulnerability and being jokingly flirtatious is easy. It can be brushed off as a playful platonic joke. So why not be flirty and break your own hearts at the thought of unrequited feelings?

"You think they trained us enough?" Wilbur breaks the deafening silence with a playful question, mouth quirking up into a half smile, half smirk. His eyes glint with something you can't quite place.

You huff a laugh, "Do you think you paid attention enough?" You turn your head to face him, smile soft but mischievous. You lean against the wall, trying to subtly slink yourself a bit away from him. You don't really want to be away from him and his touch, but it makes you nervous and you don't want to make him uncomfortable. But you don't move, you can't make it obvious. He doesn't mind the touch either, but he too fears the possibility of making you uncomfortable.

"Hm, I think I have a decent grasp on the concept. It's just button pressing and reading lines, right?" Wilbur nudges your shoulder with his, a soft laugh of his own rolling off his lips, ones held in a smirk.

"Oh, you think it's that simple, pretty boy?" You try your best to hide the pink of your cheeks, plotting a response if he asks. For a brief moment he simply looks at you, mouth slightly agape before he shuts it, bringing back his previous smirk.

"Well, that's what it seemed to be, so I'd say it's pretty simple," He brushes past the use of the pet name and he looks away, a nervous smile replacing the smirk as he looks down at his lap. Oh, he's infatuated and dear god—he wanted nothing more than to fall out of love, out of the feelings he felt. They weren't reciprocated, and any point he may have thought they were, could easily be shut down by the excuse of playful jokes.

"Well, we'll see about that," You push up to stand, catching your eye on Andy and another trainer walking over to the team. He makes the motion to move along and follow him with his hand and so you jump to stand behind him, Wilbur following suit.

The group is led around the corner and into the mission control room. Everyone's instructed to put their backpacks and whatnot on the table far behind the rows of desks. Both you and Wil put yours down on the far end, next to each other's and your shoulders brush together when the rest of the group pushes towards you both. You try to shuffle backwards, but hit the wall that separates the rest of the room to the trainer's desk. Wilbur puts his hand on the small of your back, and guides you to stand in front of him when you get startled by the wall. He rests his hands on either side of your upper arms. You know you're blushing, you know it's obvious but you just hope he doesn't see or doesn't care or doesn't notice and—

"Alright, Andromeda, everyone split into your groups of who goes where and a space ghost will lead you out to your positions, alright?" Andy speaks over the loud conversations of everyone in the group, his hands cupping around his mouth to somehow assist in making his voice louder and heard.

You and Wilbur stay in your place, Tommy, Ash, Niki and James join you both in your corner. Tommy starts chattering about his position and Wilbur is quick to shush his younger brother, and Tommy grumbles in response, crossing his arms and huffing.

The six of you are silent as you await instructions, and another trainer comes over to your group, muttering something about following her and so you do, you first, Wilbur behind and then the rest in a clump behind him. It's barely a few feet around the corner to the capsule. The trainer walking in first, ducking in through the doorway. She stands over to the corner, letting the rest of you walk in and find your seats. Wilbur attempts to duck down but still manages to bump his head, holding back a few obscenities that would definitely get him in trouble.

You chuckle at the sight and he keeps his head ducked down as he finds his spot at his seat. He buckles in the best he can, and then the trainer tells him off, reminds him he has to put his suit on first. He grumbles to himself, and turns around out of his chair and joins the rest of you as you put on the white painters jumpsuits over your normal clothes. Light costume astronaut boots being put on your feet and velcroed in.

You look over at Wilbur and catch your eye on him as he struggles, trying to get his sleeves to pull down all the way, same with his pants legs. You huff a laugh at the sight, "Don't worry about it," You shake your head at him and adjust his collar, hands lingering on his chest before pulling them away to rest at your sides.

His eyes go wide in a playful way, lips curling into a slight smirk, trying to hold some semblance of a fearful gaze, "I could die, y/n!" 

You huff a laugh, turning away from him and sitting in your commander's seat, him following and sitting in the seat opposite you, "You, die? Yeah you're too stubborn for that," You open the small binder you were given and review it as you wait for the signal to start, a clarification from every position that they too are ready.

Wilbur follows suit and you swear you see him gaze at you from the corner of your eye. You smile softly and pretend you don't notice, "Wilbur?"

He hums, looking up from his book for a moment and he looks to you, a quizzical look on his features, "Yes?"

You nod your head towards the comms, "Joe asked for confirmation from you, pilot,"

"Oh!" Wilbur rushes to put his headset on, and presses the speak button, "Roger that SOCOM," He rests his head back against the headrest, sighing.

"Alright, I'll leave you guys to it. Remember the call buttons if you need anything at all, okay?" The crew trainer assigned to the Orion capsule then leaves out the door, being sure to get a verbal confirmation or a thumbs up from each of you.

"You'll do fine, Wilbur," You reassure him, going about various procedures, buttons and switches being turned on or off. Codes being entered and lines of numbers and codes being typed out on the screen.

"You think so?" His voice shakes, unsure of himself as he flips switches along with you, referencing his binder every few seconds.

You nod, "I know so," It's all you need to say as you press the last few buttons before the computer switches the simulation to launch. Voices muffled in your ear as you focus intently on what's needed to do next, when you get into Altair.

It's a few minutes of launch and then the program switches to a screen showing the stars and planets passing by. More switches need flipping and more buttons need pressing. You glance over to your right at Wilbur, his eyebrows knitted in concentration and anxiety. His finger skims the lines of words and instructions in his binder.

"You alright there, Wil?" You put down your book, keeping your eyes locked on him.

"Uh, yeah, fine, fine," He keeps his gaze locked on the pages before him. 

You revert your gaze back to your own work, still checking on him in the corner of your eye every once and a while. Everyone in the capsule was ahead of schedule, all buttons pressed and switches flipped so all you had to do now was respond to Mission Control and wait for docking. Wilbur's leg had started to bounce by this point and he was biting his tongue. His hands kept running through his hair and he seemed oddly stressed for a simple simulation. If you could stand up and walk over to him, you would. But you're buckled in (more like strapped in since there were no buckles and both you and Wilbur were insistent that you were secure in your seats), you couldn't unbuckle yourself and walk over to him, risking an unnecessary anomaly.

So, you reached your hand over to his shoulder, having to lean to your side to even reach him in the first place. His head shot up to look at you, eyebrows creased in a wrinkling worry and mouth drawn in a thin line. 

"Are you okay?" It was merely a whisper, only meant to be heard by you and him. It was intimate and private and your eyes were soft as they looked into his. He didn't know what to do with himself, the amount of care you showed him was overwhelming. His heart racing with anxiety and nervousness.

His face flushed pink, "Yes-"

You cut him off, tapping his leg that bounces and hits the console a few times with how lanky he is, "Your leg says otherwise," You smile softly to him, the softness matching your gaze.

"I'm okay," He tries looking away, up at the screen and he watches the digital stars. The white dots scattered on black in the monitor before him.

You rub his shoulder gently, "Can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong."

He sits there, fidgeting with his hands in his lap, eyes closing shut and a deep breath being taken, and then his head turns to face you, "What if I mess it all up?"

You smile, shaking your head, "That's not possible, I promise you won't," You pat his shoulder gently, soft and assuring smile held on your lips.

"What if I press the wrong button? Or don't get secured well enough? Or what if I mess up the O2 transfer, or--"

You cut him off, squeezing his shoulder gently. Mission Control is sure to be watching this all, but most are probably running around chasing someone so the thought isn't bothersome to you or Wilbur. The camera can't catch the light pink tinted on either of your cheeks anyways.

"I'll be right there to help, you're not alone. It's a job for both of us, if one of us goes down we both do. Triumphantly," Your thumb rubs over his shoulder, back and forth in a manner of comfort and consolation.

"They need their commander more-" 

You shake your head, "They need their pilot too," When the closeness is overwhelming, you back up, ruffling up his hair and finding your spot back in your seat, "Now, relax and ask MOCR if they're like, dead yet."

Wilbur smiles, wider now and he shakes his head with a light chuckle.

"Part of me hopes they're dead."

"Wilbur!" You scold him, smiling wide. The rest of the Orion crew is in their own world, not paying mind to you and Wilbur's bickering.

"Okay, not Joe, the rest though--" He cuts himself off with a giggle and presses the speak button on his coms box, "Mission Control, how is it over there?"

There's a crackle in your headphones and Joe speaks over the mic, "What do you think, Wilbur?"

"Ey, it's Pilot to you," Wilbur, while speaking with a stern tone, is smiling wide. Joe huffs and a scream is heard muffled behind him, "How bad?"

"Zombies, Wil, zombies," Joe sounds tired, exasperated and he leaves his mic on accidentally and there's a shuffle heard and more yelling.

"ZOMBIES??" Tommy yells and the entire capsule bursts out laughing, you, Ash, Wilbur, James, Niki-- Tommy just stands there oblivious as you all listen to the chaos in Mission Control.

"I didn't know there were zombies," Niki speaks up, giggling and sifting through her own guide book.

"I hope at least Mark survives," James then pipes up, and shrugs.

"What about the rest?" You ask him, turning in your chair to look back at him.

"Eh, they can get eaten alive," Everyone's heads spin to look at him and James simply shrugs.

"James!" You scold him, "You are both children," You look between both James and Wil as you speak and then you turn back to face the screen in front of you.

The speaker crackles again, "Docking is in five minutes, Orion," Joe sounds out of breath as he speaks, "You're on your own for now, half of my crew is dying,"

"Thank God," James mutters and Ash smacks his shoulder.

"James! Your mic is on!" Ash glares at his friend, huffing.

"Yeah, that's the point,"

Joe grumbles and his mic cuts off, now no longer any inkling as to what's happening in Mission Control, the six of you sit in silence, waiting for docking to complete.

"I don't want to jinx it--" Tommy begins speaking but he's then cut off by the rest of you yelling;

"NO!" in unison.

And then he draws his mouth in a thin line and crosses his arms, puffing his chest.

Silence blankets the air, and then a clicking is heard through the loudspeakers.

"Docked!" Ash calls out and Wilbur instructs everyone to unbuckle and follow you through to Altair. You crawl through the 'airlock' door between yours and Wil's stations and slip into the Altair capsule. Wilbur follows you, bumping his head on both sides of the airlock and then again when he stands. You giggle at him as you shuffle to find all the mic boxes and helmets and set them aside for landing.

"I'm not sure how you passed the first Astronaut evaluation-- You're much too tall for this job," You playfully poke at Wilbur and he rolls his eyes, finding his spot at the front of the room, by another control board. He puts on his headset, gesturing for you to do the same and then the rest of your crew all files into the capsule.

"They needed someone decently charismatic," He smirks smugly, looking through his guidebook again, landing on the page for Altair arrival and he begins the usual routine of button presses and switches.

"You? Charismatic? Yeah, no, they just felt bad for you," You chuckle to yourself, and he drops his hands from the control board in front of him, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall next to him, his eyes locked on you.

"You are so mean to me," He shakes his head, eyes still on you and your cheeks dusted pink. You averted your gaze from him, down at the control board.

"All in a day's work," You shuffle through your own book, pressing buttons and entering codes.

"Stop flirting, you two," James chirps up, rolling his eyes and messing with the screen in the far back.

You both turn bright red, focusing your gazes heavily on the control board in front of you, doing your best to ignore the words from your friends mouth. Tommy, Ash and Niki, find their own spots on the floor against the wall--James is too stubborn to join them and determined to stand as long as he needs to before landing.

"James, just sit," Niki is stern and pats the spot next to her. James looks over, watching her and shaking his head.

"I'm fine up here, Niki," He looks through his own guidebook now, nothing new for him to do.

"Alright, well, suit yourself," Niki shrugs, looking across at Tommy and Ash and striking conversation with them both.

You continue glancing over at Wilbur, his eyes intently focused on screens and buttons and words typed on a page. His face contorted into a focused gaze and it's endearing. Watching him so focused, working in a way. He's in his element--while you can't deny he's meant for music, something about him being in this STEM environment fits. A leadership role. If you weren't so bad at communication and speaking clearly, you would've immediately opted for Pilot--Commander was simply made for him. But then again, so was the position of speaking and commanding and communicating--and wow, he's so pretty. 

A few stray curls fall onto his forehead as his head tilts down to get a closer look at a separate screen, finger running over the words next to the O2 symbol. He's rolled up the sleeves on his jumpsuit, and he's stuffed a pen he grabbed, in his hair on top of his ear. 

You catch yourself staring and look away before he can notice, and when you look back at your crew, they all look away as if they were staring too. Probably at you, and most likely going to gossip later. You huff and squeeze through to the back, grabbing helmets and mic sets, handing one by one to each person. James first, since he's closest to you, then Niki, then Ash and lastly Tommy. He huffs, mumbling something about how he's obviously your least favorite. Which isn't true by any means, but the child insists.

And then you hand Wilbur his, and he nods to you, a curt smile on his lips in thanks. Your stomach flips and your cheeks burn but you shake it away.

A few more moments and Mission Control comes through the coms again, Joe sounding stressed and out of breath, "Landing procedure will begin shortly, please put your helmets on and secure your suits. Thank you," And then his voice cuts out again and Wilbur shrugs before pressing his coms button, responding with a short 'roger that'.

All of you begin readjusting your suits and hooking up your comms. Wilbur rolls his sleeves back down and to you that's slightly disappointing--but it's better than him 'dying' so you suck it up for the sake of the mission. James struggles with his helmet, grumbling and Niki giggles, helping him slide it on and secure it around his collar. He mutters something about it being stupidly difficult but you can't entirely hear. Your focus is on the boy in front of you, stumbling with his comms box as he clips it onto his belt and then he puts on his own helmet. Yours has already been put on and is perfectly adjusted. You'd be a liar if you said your suit was too small--it was much too long. So you had to roll the sleeves and pants legs to make it so you didn't trip. 

Wilbur struggles with the collar, fidgeting with it to get it to sit right, over the lip of his helmet. You hum, walking over to him, "Need any help?"

He nods, "Dear god, yes."

You smile softly and help flatten his collar and pull it up over the lip of his helmet. You fasten it in the back after ushering him to turn around and kneel a bit so you can reach. He turns around after you pat his back, facing you and smiling softly. Your hands linger on his chest for a moment, fingers messing with the edges of his collar to put it in its final place.

Wilbur speaks up, "Thank you," He smiles softly and you pull your hands away, eyes looking away and face turning a light pink.

"Anytime there, Wilbur," You turn to face the control panel, flipping the final switches before you all get the okay to step out.

Wilbur steps out first, freezes and mumbles "Mars, a new frontier," and the entire crew bursts into fits of giggles--Wilbur included.

You walk up to him, pat him on the shoulder and look up at him, smirk pulling at the corner of your mouth, "You regret making that deal, yet?"

He looks back to you, eyes wide with anxiety, "Perhaps," and he ushers you to the dome base just a few steps aside. You step through, the rest of your crew following like a line of ducklings. You all get settled in at your stations, familiarizing yourself with where things are and what things do what. 

It's calm and quiet, just waiting on further instructions from Mission Control when you and Wilbur decide waiting is for the weak. You both head out the door, over to Altair and begin oxygen transfer.

The plan is simple: connect the hoses to the oxygen tanks, begin the transfer at the computer and move it over to the base and repeat. It's a two person job, one manning the computer and the other with the tanks. There's a computer inside the base for transferring the O2 onto the base from Altair.

"So, I'll go on computer?" Wilbur asks as you both stop outside the doors to the dome, you look up at him. Eyes soft and you nod.

"That was our plan, right?" You smile smugly and Wilbur rolls his eyes, walking off and into Altair. You get the hoses connected and then Wilbur yells out;

"Ready?"

"Ready!" Your reply is loud, enough for him to hear but to not bother anyone else in the simulation room.

There's a simulated sound of hissing and the O2 transfers, a few moments pass and then you switch to the base and repeat everything you just did but in reverse, to empty it into the base's reservoir.

As you wait for the O2 to empty out, your mind begins to run off on its own accord. Wondering about Wilbur, if he's noticed any of your nervous glances, or the way your cheeks turn pink or red when he smiles--how you stared at him at his first volleyball game a few weeks back. Your dad told you off with a laugh--but it was hard to look anywhere but him. Anywhere but his ar-

You cut your thoughts short, bringing yourself back to reality when the O2 shuts off, and then you drug it back over to Altair. You looked around and noticed Wilbur wasn't in sight, nowhere near the base or by the computer--maybe he was inside of Altair, at the computer, waiting for you. You dropped the key to the O2 tanks and walked around the corner, sneaking into the door of Altair. No sign of the lanky nerd called Wilbur--you groaned in annoyance, hitting your head on the air lock opening when you stepped into the lander.

You shuffled yourself over to the computer, pressing a few buttons to get the transfer ready and you went back out; connected the tanks and went back in to press the final button for this transfer.

It was merely a waiting game as you patiently awaited the transfer to complete--if you were honest it was more impatient than anything, but no one needs to know that. You got bored, and partly frustrated and so you walked off while the tank filled and you went into the base.

"Okay, has anyone seen my Pilot? He's went missing and it's really difficult to transfer these," You wave your hands in frustration, "these, tanks!"

Tommy scoffs, Niki giggles and Ash closes the plexiglass door to the solitary bed James is laying in.

"Haven't seen him, sorry," Niki is the first to speak, going about her business grabbing medications and other things and handing them off to Ash.

"Not even an inkling?" 

"Nope," They all answer you at once, shaking their heads or shrugging. James' nope is muffled behind the plexiglass.

You groan and turn on your heels, dramatically exiting out the double doors. You drag yourself back into Altair, shutting off the transfer and continuing your previous routine, desperately looking for Wil as you do so.

"Y/n! I found it!" The familiar accent breaks through and you turn around to face him, a wide smile plastered on his lips and a small Mars Rover in his arms. He holds it up, smile still wide and warm.

"So that's where you disappeared off to?" You smile back, so soft and partially teasing. You fold your arms over your chest.

He nods wildly, "Yup! I'm gonna go fix it, I'll be right back out to help, okay?" Wilbur begins walking off and into the base, you chuckle to yourself shaking your head.

"You better, Wil!" You call back, desperately trying to hide the fluttering in your chest and the pink on your cheeks. There's no evident reason for your reaction other than just…him.

A few moments later and he's back out of the base, letting it loose on the floor and walking over to you. He pats your shoulder and slips into the lander, his legs sticking out for a few moments before he pulls himself all the way in. An ouch is heard along with a bang and you giggle.

"I'm okay!" He yells out, and you shake your head.

"It's already done, Wilbur!" You call out, the four words having been delayed by you until he got into the lander--just to mess with him.

You hear him huff and then slink out of the lander airlock. He takes a few steps down the ladder and walks over to you, "I dislike you right now," He holds a fake frown on his features, but his eyes are soft.

"Dislike is a strong word there, Gold," You smirk, arms folding over your chest again and eyes looking up, locking on his.

"Hm, it fits," He shrugs and turns on his heel, walking over to the satellite board, he stops and looks back at you, "Can you get the box underneath the medical bed? We need the pieces to fix this," If you didn't know better, you would've sworn he heard your thoughts back in Orion--maybe he did.

"I don't remember your role being commander?" You walk over to him, leaning against the board, a wave of confidence shooting through you.

"Might as well be," His lips curling into a smirk as he speaks, soft and quiet, "I'm better at taking lead, aren't I?"

This fucker-- You scoff, smirking to yourself and walking off into the base. You rub your hands on your face in an attempt to rid your cheeks of its burning redness and James looks over to you--

"Did you not notice how miserable I am? Or are you too busy with-" Ash yells at him, smacking the plexiglass before James could finish his remark.

"No-- sorry, both our mics are broken so we're pretty out of the loop," You mumble and kneel down to grab the box into your hands, "you dying or something?" 

"Yes!! I am!" James' tone is sharp and everyone giggles at his words, "Hey! Come on guys! That's what the Space Ghost told me!" 

Ash shakes his head, "No! They said you're having a severe allergic reaction, not dying."

James groans, throwing himself back on the bed flat, "I wish I was dying!" 

You laugh, shaking your head, "Alright, well don't treat him, Niki," and you walk out, box in hand.

You walk over to Wilbur, dropping the box in front of him and then putting your hands on your hips, "There you go, Commander, happy now?" 

He smirks, "Why yes I am, thank you," He leans down to open it and take out a few pieces, handing a good half of them to you and you huff, rolling your eyes.

"This power is getting to your head-- You're not even Commander," You start to place the pieces one by one in the way the instructions sheet requires-- it's not detailed instructions by any means. It's more or less an example of what it should look like which is plenty for you and Wilbur to go off of.

"Well, I might as well be. I thought you liked this?" His face never falls from the cocky smirk he holds, some sort of confidence of his own surging through his body. He looks over at you briefly, eyes locked down onto yours. "Me being in charge and all?"

Your eyes went wide and you hoped you were hallucinating-- or maybe daydreaming-- or maybe this was a dream. But you figured with how real it felt, your senses being in tact--that this was real. You felt your cheeks burn bright red and you simply stared, hand going limp and the piece of this big puzzle in your hand, falling and crashing into the box.

"I saw you staring, that's all," He smirks and shakes his head, moving along with his part of the puzzle and you swore you could see him blush too--

The thought is cut short when a Space Ghost comes out of the Mission Control room, ushering everyone to stop their roles for a moment and that we'll pick up where we left off next session. You silently thank the gods for this interruption-- keeping Wilbur from getting too cocky and you catch him wink at you as he follows the rest of the group into Mission Control.

Next session will be the death of you.

taglist; @sleepyburs @lillylvjy (just send me an ask or dm if you want to be added!)

[im-getting-help]

You guys remember IT 2019? I just finished watching an alternative ending or directors cut idk, BUT LET ME TELL YOU 💀

First, english is my second language...

So, everything is exactly the same until the last like 30min? They're fighting Pennydumb, and you remember the scene where Richie is caught by the deadlights and Eddie spears Penny and saves Rich but he has to kiss him to wake him up like Ben with Bev in the first movie? Well, in this version Eddie spears Penny and falls with Richie but instead of kissing him he just shakes him a little? And Richie wakes up 😂 but then out of nowhere Pennydumb SKEWERS EDDIE WITH ONE OF THE ARACHNID/CRAB CLAWS RIGHT THROUGH THE CHEST??? Me and Bev literally screamed at the same time. So Eddie is bleeding all over Richie, blood comes out of his mouth as he says his name... and Richie is literally like 🧍🏻‍♂️ and then Pennydumb lifts Eddie with the claw and I'm watching in 4KHD how Eddie flies tf out while everyone is screaming his name. I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT KIDDING. At this point I'm laughing and crying at the same time, cause like, wtf is happening?? So the Losers run to wherever Eddie was thrown and THIS MF IS SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE? Then, like in the original ending Eddie tells the Losers how to kill Pennydumb, but is like super depressing, Eddie is coughing blood, so all but Richie and obviously Eds go bully the alien spider. Eddie is dying, and he says "Richie, I gotta to tell you something" and I'm thinking, alright, a little bit too angsty but ok. BUT THEN, HE DOESN'T CONFESS? HE LOOKS RICHIE IN THE EYES AND SAYS "💫I fucked your mother💫" AGAIN, I'M NOT KIDDING. And so Richie is like "heh 🙂🥲" Eventually Richie leaves so they can finish IT, lmao. They kill Pennydumb the same, they say "clown" a bunch and he perish. Then they go back to Eds who is obviously fucking dead at this point, and I'm still laughing a little cause I know that now is when Maturin appears and the Losers ask her to bring back Stan and now Eddie too i guess... WELL In this version Maturin doesn't exist apparently???????? So Eddie dies and Richie is crying over his dead body anD THEN BILL AND BEVERLY TELL HIM THAT THEY HAVE TO GO AND LEAVE HIS BODY DOWN THERE???? AND I'M 😶 SPEECHLESS.

They drag Richie out of Neibolt 😶 he's is screaming and crying and I'm screaming and crying with him. They get out and the house collapses. And the whole scene is fucking tragic, like, I'm sobbing, Richie is still screaming Eddie's name, Mike and Ben are holding him back and Bill and Bev are literally like 👀 Suddenly they're on the quarry, same scene minus Eddie and Stan. BUT IT'S SO SOMBER. They jump and they're washing themselves in silence, and Richie is CLEANING EDDIE'S BLOOD OUT OF HIS GLASSES. And Eddie is not there to be yapping about infections so Ben is like "Eddie would hate this" and they start talking about what Eddie would say if he was there, and I'm thinking 'why tf would you kill him but not write a better scene?' but I'm promptly shut up cause Richie starts crying again and everyone goes hug him, and now I'm really sobbing. But then, then they do something I can only describe as the worst possible thing you can do in front of your mourning gay friend. Richie loses his glasses like in the original but Stan is not there to give them back so the rest of the Losers start looking, and then, and I swear to god I'm not lying, Ben and Bev find the glasses but instead of giving them back they start kissing eachother. RICHIE IS BLIND AND CRYING WHILE THESE TWO KISS UNDERWATER. And I'm like NOw?????? Don't get me wrong, I love the kiss in the original, but this version is so sad and that kiss feels so out of place. After that, there's the scene in the street with them as kids, Richie and Eddie bickering and all that, and I'm ready to go wash my face BUT they added an extra scene. So in this scene Mike calls Bill whose already out of Derry, and Bill asks why they're not forgetting this time, and Mike says "Maybe cause IT is dead... or maybe because we have more we want to remember than we want to forget". AND I'M LIKE WDM?? ALL OF THIS IS FUCKING TRAUMATIC. And then Mike asks Bill if he got the letter, and apparently Stan left a fucking suicide note 💀 and it's SO FUCKING SAD YOU GUYS. They show adult Stan writing the note but you can hear young Stan reading it, and they show the Losers as adults after Derry 2.0, and everyone is happy except Richie?? Like, Bev and Ben are on a fucking boat with a dog but Richie is on the bridge going over the R+E carving while crying. And it ends with Mike smiling driving out of Derry. Is literally the worst ending ever. Like, I don't hate it just because is so depressing is kinda funny, also you guys know It 2019 is goofy af. Anyways, if anyone else saw this please message me so we can make a support group or something idk.

[octuscle]

What the fuck?! I've just arrived for this academic conference in Amsterdam and when I went to unpack, my clothes and notes were gone! Instead my suitcase is filled with thongs and jockstraps and.. are those dildos? Who's fucking with me?

Well, to be quite precise: No, these are not only dildos. They are also butt plugs. Do you find just as disgusting? Then just put the case in the corner.

Damn, you just can't get this plug out of your head… When you fall asleep, you swear you hear a voice telling you that you should try the butt plug. Since your mother gave you a fever suppository as a child, no one has inserted anything into your ass. But somehow you know exactly what to do. You take a handful of Crisco, rub the plug in, fix it on the coffee table of your hotel room, relax your ass and slowly insert the plug. Fuck! Your cock reacts immediately. And so does your brain. What a horny combination of pleasure and pain. Yes, something like that belongs in your ass. Damn it! You pump air into the plug. Oh my God! The feeling drives you crazy. You can't get enough. And you start pumping with one hand and jerking off with the other. Until you cum a load like you have cum before. Fuck, what a mess in the hotel room. But what an orgasm!

The night is full of wild dreams. Full of wet wild dreams. You would love to go straight on with another sex toy. But you have a message on your cell phone. You should wear the latex shorts with the integrated dildo at the conference today. And after the conference you are supposed to work out with it in the gym. As if in a trance, you shower, oil yourself and put on the shorts. And over it you wear a shirt and a suit. Fuck! Your boner doesn't come to rest at all. And you get another message: "Good Boi".

The conference is really exhausting. With the dildo in your ass you can hardly concentrate. You are only thankful that you are wearing the latex shorts. You produce precum by the ounce. When you have to go to the toilet, you always use a stall. You are uncomfortable showing your ass in latex. At noon you get a message. "Sluts show their dick while pissing". Okay. So next time you stand at the urinal. You can't help it, you have to jerk off when you are done pissing. The looks you reap fluctuate between disgust, alienation and lechery.

You skip the champagne reception at the end of the congress day. Your task was to work out today. So you go straight back to the hotel. And you wonder what to wear to the training. Your suitcase still hasn't shown up. But the question is unnecessary. On your bed are shorts, tank top, socks and training shoes. The tank top has "Gym Slut" printed on it. And on your desk is a whole battery of bottles with protein drinks. Next to it is a weird metal thing… You get a new message. Every two hours you should drink a bottle of protein drinks. And wear the cock cage for training. You drink the first bottle and look at the device. Somehow you get it on. It looks way too big for your dick. But you immediately get a hard-on. A huge hard-on. You fill the cage painfully almost to bursting. Fuck, how you would love to jerk off now. "Training. Right now. At least three hours" says a new message. You get dressed, take two bottles and go to the hotel gym.

The cock cage makes it look like you have a constant hard-on anyway. In fact, you have a hard-on almost all the time. Nevertheless, you give everything during his workout. At 23:00 the gym closes. You Pose in front of the mirror. Damn, you are a beast! You're about to take a shower when your cell phone rings. No shower. No shave. No deodorant. Until further notice!

In your hotel room you drink another protein shake. You notice that your suit, your shirt, your shoes, everything you wore to the conference today is gone. The key to your cock cage is also gone. Instead, a pair of leather jeans hangs in the closet. A pair of long shiny track pants. And a bomber jacket. A pair of tank tops. A pair of combat boots. A pair of sneakers. And, of course, the stuff from your suitcase. You pull the bomber jacket over the sweaty gym clothes. You feel the pack of cigarettes in the pocket on your sleeve. "Go on, go to the smokers' bar at the hotel. And let someone give you a light. Just as you are.". Actually, you just wanted to go to bed. But orders are orders. In your short sports shorts and tank top under your shiny nylon jacket you stand out in the bar like a colorful dog. Actually you want to take a box of matches. But the order was to have them give you a light. You approach an older gentleman in a suit who is smoking his cigar. He looks at you, opens your jacket and reads "Gym Slut" aloud. He gives you a light and asks what you take for once blowing. You have no idea what to answer. You say € 50.00. The gentleman grabs your crotch, feels the cock cage and grins. He asks if you can keep the money or if your master gets it. You don't answer at all and follow him wordlessly to the toilet.

It is 02:00 o'clock when you are back in your room. You have smoked a pack of cigarettes and sucked four cocks. "Gym at 06:00" is written in your display. You drink another protein shake and fall into a deep sleep.

Good thing you didn't take off your latex shorts to sleep. That way you could prevent another mess in your bed. You take off the shorts, wash them briefly in the sink and go to the gym without underpants with your sports clothes smelling of sweat and cigarette smoke. Heck, it's 09:00 when you remember the conference. Your boss will kill you if you skip the day. A message pops up on your phone with an address. 10:00. On time. You hesitate. So far, everything has been very cool and exciting. But now it's about your job. You don't think with your head anymore. You think with your dick. And your caged dick tells you that you have to be at the address at 10:00.

A dark side street in a bad looking neighborhood. The cab driver took your money and made sure he got there fast. Nothing but a black door in a black facade. And a doorbell. You ring the bell. And the door opens. A bare-chested fellow asks you if you're Gareth. You nod. He invites you in and tells you to take a seat. Hours of agony begin.

It is 22:00 o'clock, when you stand again on the street. Your hair is shorn short. And you are inked. Richly inked. You used to be Gareth. Now you are Pig. Or Gaz. At least both are so prominently inked on your neck. You call a cab, but the way you stand on the street with a cigarette in your mouth in your leather pants and bomber jacket over your otherwise naked torso, no car stops. You receive a new message. You have checked out of your hotel. Your luggage has moved to a guesthouse. Around the corner. The entrance is through a bar. In front of it a group of smoking young men, at the sight of which your cock cage is almost blown. One of the fellows looks at you, pulls up the contents of his nose and snorts everything on his boot. Two days ago you would have turned away in disgust. But now you get down on your knees. And lick the snot off his boots. The fellow pulls you up by your collar and spits in your face. He turns around and you follow without asking a question.

Before you move into your cell, you have to hand over your cell phone. You now receive your orders via a new cell phone. And the next order comes immediately. You have to take the anal beads and come to the bar. You may live in a cell, but you are not a prisoner. At most of your sexual fantasies. And now get to know your master.

Hot inspiration found at @pigbberlin

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

alice on a wednesday

annie found alice to be impossibly glamorous. she was a woman in her mid-forties. an artist of some note (annie had googled) and a professor at a local university. she had a personality that was somehow both bubbly and cool. she had very good posture and was an engaged conversationalist. she often asked annie about herself as often as she talked about herself, and annie, bamboozled by her bright eyes and alien beauty, shared too much.

"how are you? how's ryan?" alice asked inquiring after annie's boyfriend.

"he's okay, i think?" annie said. "he seems really distracted with work lately."

"a.k.a. you're not fucking," alice said.

annie chuckled and tried to regain some professional composure. "it's okay. it's fine."

"annie, honestly, it's not," alice said. "you're a woman in your prime and he should be getting you off a few times a day, lest you seek pleasure elsewhere."

"i wouldn't do that," annie said.

"i would," alice said. "and i would not feel guilty."

annie had not been surprised to learn that alice had never managed to make a long term relationship work. but romance never much concerned her. alice's worries and annoyances fell into two categories:

her mother, a wild russian immigrant who was perpetually causing trouble and

her own neurological health

alice was a brain cancer survivor, and told annie when they met that in a sort of spiritual, kooky way, she believed maintenance of her mental health was key to staying in remission. annie said that medically, she couldn't really agree, but liked the notion of it.

a side effect of alice's brain surgery was that she'd lost the ability to raise the volume of her voice -- she spoke at just above a whisper. she mitigated this condition by using a wireless lapel microphone and a little box-sized amplifier she kept in her purse and set on the table in front of annie during their sessions. it lent her voice a lightly robotic quality that annie found oddly soothing.

she asked alice if she'd ever been unfaithful in a way that had hurt anyone.

"i don't think i hurt them in a way that was unfair," alice said. "sooner or later, the people who stay in my life as friends or fuck buddies or what have you learn to travel at my speed. and why shouldn't they? it's a fun speed."

"but early on, some hearts get a little bruised and beaten."

"yes," she admitted. "when i was 17 years old, i slept with my boyfriend's older sister, and i remember he was pretty mad about that," she said. "he beat the shit out of her."

"oh, fuck," annie said. she didn't swear around most of her patients but alice never clocked it.

"yeah, i got violent with him after that, clawed him up," she said, laughing. "i still keep in touch with the sister. they made up, it's all okay."

"i mean, is it?" annie asked.

"who knows," she said. "you have a brother, right?"

"yes," annie said, impressed at alice's recall.

"robbie," alice said. "i assume you have never competed with robbie over a woman."

annie laughed. "no. i mean, that must be very rare. unless you have more histories with siblings?"

alice grinned her catlike grin. "not negative stuff no, but I have in fact had sex with two sets of twins. two women, two men."

"yikes," annie said. "i mean, not to sound judge-y. i can't imagine having sex in front of robbie."

alice laughed. "i'm basically an only child, so i don't know. i think it's different with twins. they're copies of each other. and the women, like it or not but we live in a society that sexualizes female twins so by the time i met them they had a lot of experience with each other."

"huh," annie said.

"it's initially sort of gross but when you get down to it, i don't know," alice smiled. "kinda hot."

"what did you mean when you say you're basically an only child?"

"i never told you about amanda?"

"no," annie said, fairly confident. sometimes she forgot things her patients talked about, but not alice.

"when i was 15, my aunt killed herself," alice said.

"oh god," i said. "your mom's side?"

"no, my dad's sister-in-law," she said. "his brother's wife. and you know, that was crazy, so my uncle and his daughter who was 17, they came to live with us for a year. they moved from israel."

"that must have been a series of shocks for them," annie observed.

"yeah, i mean, my cousin amanda just did coke and fucked guys in my room, but it did feel like having a sister for a while."

"in your room?"

"yeah in my room, in my bed. i used to find like, thongs and condoms in my bed."

"i don't know what it's like to have a sister, either," annie said. "but i don't think it's like that."

annie went to ryan's apartment after work. he talked to her in an almost uninterrupted stream for an hour about things going on at work until, her relentless ability to pay attention nearly failing her, she stood in his kitchen and pulled her skirt and panties off. he stopped talking and stared at her exposed bush. "hey," he said.

"hey," annie said. "fuck me."

"ok," he said.

he took her over the sink, roughly, like animals, his fingers on her clit, his lips on her neck. he was a little soft at first, like he'd forgotten how to get hard in the two weeks or so since they'd last had a vanilla, post-date screw. but all annie had to do was get a little vocal. "i'm so fucking wet," she told him, and felt him stiffen right up.

they came at the same time, annie's contracting pussy pushing his cum out around the base of his shaft. she felt it between her thighs and heard it hitting the tile floor. as she pulled away and turned to kiss him she touched herself and brought her fingers to her lips. his eyes lit up. she had him back, at least for a while.

she spent the rest of the evening in a blouse and panties, sharing a joint with ryan, watching TV with him, and then mounting him again on his couch. she didn't take her panties off this time, just pulled them aside. sometimes uncomfortable, but very effective when one wanted to feel particularly slutty. she put her tits in his mouth, bounced to orgasm on his cock, and then sat on his thighs and stroked his cum out onto her bush. cleaning herself up in the bathroom she laughed imagining telling alice about it. she was sure she'd approve.

[jodjuya]

I'm officially a hater. Every Halo game since the very first one is full of bullshit.

My many problems with Halo 4, as I experience them:

FOUR VIDEO GAMES IN A SERIES! FOUR DIFFERENT CONTROLLER MAPPINGS!!! MICROSOFT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???

What is the compass needle even pointing to on 117's assault rifle? we're adrift in open space...

WHY ARE THERE MOTHERFUCKING QUICK TIME EVENTS IN THIS GAME? FUCK YOU!

"these Covenant seem more fanatical than the ones we've fought before" - how the fuck can you tell??

Why did they give Cortana baby-face and big tits?? Pick a direction, Microsoft!! She can be prepubescent or postpubescent but not both of them simultaneously!

Why am I supposed to feel any sort of emotional attachment to Cortana anyway? She's just a Microsoft Clippy with blue boobs stuck on 🙄

"I'm the only AI generated from a clone" I'm vibrating with rage at how goddamn stupid that is.

I THINK YOU LITERALLY HAVE MORE PRESSING PROBLEMS THAN RETURNING TO HALSEY TO FACTORY-RESET YOUR AI WAIFU, MASTER CHIEF! YOU ARE EVADING HOSTILE ALIEN FORCES ON A RANDOM PLANET GOD KNOWS WHERE! JUST GET A NEW AI WAIFU WHEN YOU GET HOME! FUCK

"[Unknown alien transmission]'s behaviour is odd!" - how the fuck do you know that Cortana??? This is your first time encountering this transmission, how do you know it's not supposed to be like that?

Maybe the reason all these aliens are so hostile to you, Master Chief, is because the very first guy you saw you punched in the jaw and threw down an elevator shaft! Would it kill you to just try saying "hello" first?

Lmfao @ Cortana calling out the Chief for the exact same thing literally seconds later

"Requiem! At least we know where we are now!" - my guy you have no fucking idea where you are

WHY THE FUCK DOES HALO HAVE CINEMATIC 3RD-PERSON MELEE ATTACKS NOW?! JUST CLOBBER THE FUCKING GUY AND MOVE ON!

This is something I really disliked in Halo 3 too, but those invisible barriers that hard block you from taking vehicles indoors, even if you do manage to scrape them past the non-invisible barriers. Let me drive a Ghost indoors!

Why can't they maintain my weapon loadout on either side of a cutscene? Halo 3 handled this really well.

But here in Halo 4 I take my lovely SAW and my lovely Fuel-Rod Cannon into a cutscene and come back out of it with an assault rifle and pistol. 😒😒😒

• Seriously, why does Cortana have the face of a nine year old child and the body of a twenty-nine year old woman?! Am I taking fucking crazy pills here??

I can forgive video game developers being horny, but not when it's this gratuitously bullshit

(and the voice of a 59 year old woman, going by the game's opening cutscene of Dr Eugenics' interrogation lmao)

The new forerunner enemies are cool enough, but it really feels like they copied Borderlands' homework with their design.

Why is Cortana so blithely confident with all her info-dumping about these random alien creatures she's never seen before in her damn life? And why is master chief taking anything she says seriously when he knows she's going through AI-Alzheimer's???

The Didact is bullshit. Who the fuck is this guy? why does he call himself a "Forerunner" when that's 'our' word for them? and how does he indentify us as "human"? Also why's he so mad at us for freeing him? This is all so very stupid.

Wow. ANOTHER escape sequence involving driving fast through some exploding superstructure? Come on, Microsoft, it's all very well and good to rest on your laurels but this is just masturbating with them... I swear to you on my mother's life that having an original idea isn't nearly as painful as you seem to think it might be...

Even more being stripped of my good weapons and reset back to basic bitch assault rifle + handgun

"the greatest enemy ever faced by the forerunners: you" - bitch you've been extinct for like 100,000 years what the fuck are you even talking about???

"the Prometheans, they're human" what the fuck are you even talking about?? Who the fuck are the Prometheans??

Genesong, evolutionary acceleration, thousands of lifetimes' worth of planning? What in the flying fuck is all this nonsense? When and why did Halo become "What If Star Trek Was About Using The Power Of Friendship To Kill God"?!

Look, Microsoft, this shit isn't fucking rocket science. I shouldn't have to take an undergraduate degree in Halology to understand the fucking story of a video game. I shouldn't have to go read god knows how fucking many spin-off novels there are just to know basic facts about your game like who in the flying fuck are all these goddamn Elder God alien species you're name-dropping. I should just play the game and have knowledge of the game from playing the fucking game. Jesus fucking christ pull your head out of your arse and stop jerking yourself off and start making some goddamn sense!!

Why can this Space Orc Big Bad use The Force like Darth Vader anyhow??

Why is defeating Space Orc Big Bad a fucking quicktime event???

Lol get vaporised, idiot

Why was nuking his spaceship another quicktime event? Just make the whole thing a cutscene, christ 🙄

Master Chief finally makes it to The Waifu Dimension (via nuclear bomb?????) and his first thought is "how do I escape from here?" instead of "oh cool I can finally kiss my holographic waifu"

And now he's just, like, chilling out in orbit around earth, perfectly fine and unharmed?? after setting off a nuclear bomb in his lap with his own two hands?????

Hey, so why was I fighting digi-struct robots for the entire back-half of this game anyway? Isn't Halo supposed to be about fighting The Covenant and The Flood?? 😒

Also, didn't the Covenant have an internal schism/civil war last game?? Like, that was the whole plot of the whole game. Why are the Elites back in the Covenant again; are we just not going to bother with explaining that?

Holy fuck I hate this fucking game. Really glad I only paid seven bucks for it.

Things I liked about Halo 4:

It looks pretty

No more dual-wielding. Fun concept, sure, but it made the games' control scheme fucked to shit. Really felt like Bungie made all of the enemies into utterly gratuitous damage-sponges to compensate for MC's higher DPS too, and that sucked.

The weapon rebalancing, in general. The new Needler kicks ass.

No more dragging around a giant posse of allies with me everywhere. I feel like that was another big contributor to the enemies needing to be so heavily-buffed with sponginess.

Really glad the Brutes aren't in this game. Those guys were the fucking worst.

The items from Halo 3 were mostly useless and just served to clutter up the game. Forgot they were there most of the time, and kept activating them by accident when trying to reload. Glad to see they've been fucked off/heavily retooled. The new active-camo gadget is useful and fun without being overpowered; I really like how well they've balanced it. All of the other gadgets are fairly middling though.

The new machine gun is great! (SURE WOULD BE NICE IF I WAS ABLE TO KEEP IT FOR MORE THAN HALF OF ONE LEVEL THOUGH)

I laughed when I saw a grunt sprinting at my Ghost with a lit grenade in each hand. Some real Serious-Sam-type nonsense right there 😂

Stomping around in the Mantis mech was extremely fun

The sticky-bomb handgun was pretty fun.

Final verdict: Microwaved Slop.

I'll eat it if I'm hungry enough, but I won't enjoy it.

[melikedraw]

Hello, i'm kai and well i owned a VHS copy of Treasure Planet since the movie came out for years at this point. From what i remember from my memory, when i was like 3 or 4 years old (now 25 years of age) i used to replay the VHS over and over and i enjoyed it the more i replayed it. Nowadays, this movie holds up like fine wine left in perfect condition for like 20+ years.

Since 2022 i have the sudden urge to watch this movie during the summer (as the movie was meant to be a summer release) and in every november 27th of every year because i've kept thinking about this movie. I even fantasized myself standing up for Jim at certain scenes in the film because after that supernova scene from the film i literally yelled at scroop about everything he did to put the blame on my poor boi Jim Hawking completely unacceptable and absolutely despicable in my eyes.

As you know, i really love Jim and if i was in the movie, i would stand up for Jim and rooting for his success and protecting him like a sibling of his. A deeply trusted, hard-to-fool sibling of his respectively. Although my anxiety might get in the way of my efforts of standing up to my senpai so yeah, i might have struggles in the film lol.

Fun Headcanon i love to share you: I swear to god his middle name might be related to his species, he's like 50% Pleiadian and 50% human right? So he's a half alien-human hybrid, likely his father (Leiland) is pure blooded Pleiadian while his mother (Sarah) is pure-blooded human. Jim's middle name is likely a sign that he's a hybrid. Isn't it cool? I figured it out when i realized that when i looked at his full name i thought he's like pure human. But then i came into the conclusion that he's a alien hybrid between Pleiadian and Human. That's why his middle name refers to Jim being a half-human alien hybrid. No wonder he looks so cute and hot, am i right?!

I LOVE that headcanon and you're SO real for all that like I want to help him his life is so hard😭

I care for him as if he was a real person like I could think about him and start tearing

His mom actually named his middle name after a constellation or something (according to the art book I think)

I rewatch treasure planet like every few months bc I NEED Jim Hawkins content injected into my bloodstream

[nerves-nebula]

Knowing that he has memory problems does neglected Raph struggle to trust his own judgment?

Like not even just for things gaps in memories makes sense to hinder. I’m talking even when he knows stuff or when memory doesn’t factor in at all, he knows he can’t trust his mind on some things so he struggles to trust it at all

If so, does he ever recover from all that?

(Side note: it’d be super interesting to see them face a villain like Mother May-Eye from Teen Titans 2003)

here's the thing about raph, Raph doesn't trust ppl other than his brothers, april, and casey, so he wouldn't let someone else fact check him, but that doesn't mean he doesn't doubt his own memories. especially since Donnie has rambled at length about how fallible memories are.

There more than a few times where Raph has a memory of something, but Splinter kind of tweaks it or implies it was just ever so slightly different in away that changes things. and if Raph is like "wait that's not what happened" Splinter would imply he doesn't know what he's talking about. never calling him crazy outright, just saying he's remembering it wrong. but isn't it kind of weird that, for some reason, Raph's memory is always "wrong" in a way that benefits Splinter? (Mom Reference)

so anyway, Raph doesn't like being told he remembered something wrong cuz of that, so that's why he only lets his close friends check him and might get aggro if someone he doesn't know well casually implies he's remembering something wrong. (this includes stuff as small as someone saying "i think you remembered this wrong" or "that's not what I remember" even just really small stuff like that can trigger him)

But his defensiveness is just because he does genuinely worry that since he forgets things so much, there's a chance the solid memories he DOES have aren't real. and if that's true then like what is he even doing, right? like how can he be a person in a meaningful way if the things his internal experiences and emotions are based on aren't real? That's what he thinks, at least.

i watched the mother may-eye episode to answer this ask so im gonna address that under the cut now:

I forgot how good the teen titans theme song is. also i forgot about the hive five they're are so fucking cool i wish i was every character in this show wtf. also why that guy sexually harass starfire. kinda like that starfire appears to swear all the damn time but since it's alien swears no one cares.

and the DAY is SAVED by the power of THATS NOT HOW CONCUSSIONS WORKS <3 my favorite storytelling technique tbh. just hit 'em on the head i'm sure it'll work out fine.

SLUR in early 2000's children media: OBSERVED.

really fucked up that they gave it to the Hive Five not knowing if they were gonna escape or get baked or anything. that's. wild.

there's something about a villain who forcibly makes you regress to a childlike state in order to manipulate you that is so fucking uncomfortable, oh my god. especially when they use, like, overly cutesy language. if i did something like that to the neglected gang it would be really gross. so i might do that later then, idk.

[zexal-club]

Zexal Club as DBZA scenes/quotes

This had to happen eventually

Bloom: You put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up~ you put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up~

Daphne: Bloom! Come in!

Bloom: Oh hey Daphne!

Daphne: Your son and his friends are in trouble, Bloom. Are you healed yet?

Bloom: Uh, nah, I don't think so.

Daphne: Well how long do you think it's gonna take?

Bloom: Well, I think the machine will tell me when I'm done.

Daphne: Okay, you think, or you know?

Bloom: ... You put the lime in the coconut-

Daphne: Bloom!!

Bloom: Aww, c'mon, Daphne, they don't need my help. I bet they're doing just fine on their own.

Kite: Healer's down!

Casey: Need a res!

Yuma: Out of mana!

Kite: AAAAAAAAAHH....!!!!

Casey: AAAAAAAAAHH.....!!!

Yuma: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH...!!!!

-

Yuma: (Uses magic)

Dark Mist: Oh, you think you're being cute?!

Yuma: B/tch, I'm adorable.

-

Seeing Astral for the first time

Mari: Looks like a total F.A.G.

Cody: Mari!

Mari: What? A freaky alien genotype. What did you think I meant?

Cody: Oh, I thought you were calling him a derogatory term for a homosexual.

Mari: THAT THING'S A GUY?!

-

Yuma: My mama's not gonna let you get away with this!

Nistro: Big f*cking whoop! We beat Icy, and she's strong as $hit!

Yuma: Yeah? So did my mum.

Nistro: By herself?

Mr Heartland: (Realisation) Oh God, your mother's Bloom. OH MY GOD! YOU MORONS STOLE BLOOM'S KID?! How?! How did you steal Bloom's kid?!

Dextra: Well, first, we beat up her husband...

Mr Heartland: Oh my $hit!

-

Yuma: Magic Winx!

Vetrix: Magic wha- (Gets knocked to the ground)

-

Flora: Bloom has a baby.

Bloom: You're damn right!

Sky: Yeah, and you won't believe who the father is...

Flora: Kazuma.

Roxy: Kazuma.

Tecna: Kazuma.

Stella: Kazuma.

Sky: Well, it could've been mine!

Bloom: It's Kazuma.

Sky: I'm just gonna walk over here...

-

Yuma: Oh right, Magic Winx. (Transforms)

Mari: Oh right, Magic Winx. (Transforms)

Vector: Oh $hit... Magic Winx. GAAAAAHHH!!!!

-

Mr. Heartland gets hit by lightning

Mr Heartland: Alright, who has the balls?!

Transition to Leo

Leo: Kiss my a$$ b/tch! I'm immortal!

-

Miyuki: I am making an announcement!

Kikyo: Please be leaving the city forever, please be leaving the city forever, please be leaving the city forever!

Miyuki: I am leaving the city forever.

Kikyo: Woohoo!

Miyuki: After I blow it up!

Kikyo: OH NO!!

-

Yuma: What do you think happened?

Kite: Well, either I got hit so hard I'm in a delusional coma, or...

Yuma: Or?

Kite: THE MAGIC SYSTEM IS BULLS***!

-

Kikyo: Well, if this is it, then... (Holds Mari's hand) I love you.

Jason: Hey, Yuma... since this is the end-

Yuma: If you're about to say, "I love you" , I swear to the Dragon...

-

Yuma: Oh, really? Because if it's a fairy of the dragon's flame your looking for... I can fill the part.

-

Tori: Remember Miyuki?

Silence

Jason: Who?

-

Nistro: By the way, I only hate you because I have pent-up aggression against your mother.

-

Kikyo: I just have hope, okay? Is that so wrong?

Astral: The fact that you have any hope left in your life is your most admirable quality.

Kikyo: Huh... thanks, man.

Yuma: Kikyo, for the love of the Dragon, don't thank him!

-

Bloom: So what're you doing?!

Villain: What am I doing?

Bloom: What're you doing?!

Villain: Nothing much.

Bloom: Traumatising my son?!

Villain: Traumatising your son?

Bloom: Are you?!

Villain: ...Yes.

Bloom: ... I'M GONNA F*CKING KILL YOU!

@yukii0nna @fair-night-starry-tears @kousaka-ayumu @bibookdemon @bakawitch

[x-authorship-x]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags

Thanks for the tag @tsarinatorment 🥰

Im not going to try to really put them in any order but...

Uchiha Shisui (Naruto)

We all been knew 🥴 to me, Shisui is just the perfect kind of character to play protagonist with, with enough badassery and charm to come out on top but with the sweetness and the last scraps of his idealism to soften his edges. Kishi, however, threw him down the toilet at the nearest opportunity (which was just so 🤌bullshit🤌 I'm almost - almost- impressed) because he realised he Gone Fucked Up making this amazingly powerful character with no hint of him in prior work so 🤡 canon is dead, Shisui lives forever

Finn (Star Wars movies)

Anyone who's had the misfortune to follow me or has browsed my AO3 bookmarks knows I'm a wreck for Commander Cody and for Obi-Wan but I'm not choosing either of them? How??? Because Finn... FINN, he was literally raised to be canon fodder but he had this deep rooted fear that what they were doing was wrong and he didn't shoot and he took that fear and he knew he had to run. So often we wanna be brave in those moments but in actual fact we just panic, which is what Finn did... And yet he was so brave too? He saved Poe, he fought viciously for Ray, he joined the Rebellion, he met these people for minutes at a time but had already impressed them on his soul, on who he was going to be (and he'd only had a name as of that day???). Finn should've been the protagonist of that trilogy, the sequels were just...well, and I'll die on this hill that Finn's force sensitivity reaalllly should've meant something 😩 I love so many SWs characters but Finn is really the one that got me to actually attempt my own Fics too!

Obi (Akagami no Shirayukihime/Snow White with the Red Hair)

Do I Have a type? .... Next question.

Obi is just ✨🤌 ✨ badass with a mysterious background? ✅ Loyal but sassy? ✅ Pining for the 'lady' he is sworn to protect?✅ Is also her partner in life and crime? ✅ Low self worth but flirtatious? ✅ Gorgeous but dangerous? ✅ .... ✨💕

Yor (Spy x Family)

She is literally the best mother oh my God just kiss your husband though (and maybe get some space from your brother-)

Fíli (The Hobbit)

I JUST-

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 little golden lion prince, heir to his uncle, to a kingdom only told in stories of grandeur he's never seen and with all the hope and grief of his displaced and hurting people.... Mischievous but sensitive, funny (the hidden knives hehe), determined to do his family and people proud (cut down far too quickly, deserved better... Oh god I have a type-)

Boromir (The Lord of the Rings)

Why do I keep listing dead guys 😭 do I need to spell it out? Honor, desperation, valour, love of his people, he is high-key aroace rep, his resentment-to-love bromance with Aragorn that was ROBBED from us, I cannot tell if Merry and Pippin wanted to queerplatonic marry him or if they wanted him as their "getaway horse" for the rest of their lives but dammit 😭✨🤌

Evelyn Carnahan (The Mummy)

Do I need to even give reasons????? She's miles ahead of all those other scholar bitches, she's out there winning desert camel races, she's a reincarnated princess with daggers, she has the most gorgeous hair and eyeliner I swear to God, she is THE moment… For all time. She's a LIBRARIAN

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

*flips desk through solid concrete wall* HE'S THE PERFECT MAND'ALOR

PERFECT FATHER

COOLEST INTROVERT IN THE GALAXY

He is SOFT and SOFT-SPOKEN

He is STERN (except in face of baby's wet eyes) and LOYAL and he has an HONOR CODE DAMMIT STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE HIM

This doesn't count as a star wars pick, which I gave to Finn, because we are, as usual, swerving completely off canon (and this is a TV series, not the movies ha!) because you cannot convince me that Din, the wandering bamf who just wants to get credits for all the kids in his covert and provide for his home but cannot participate in the maiming of an 'alien' child so gets landed in so much shit, wouldn't be exactly what the Mandalorians need for a fucking Renaissance dammit 😤😤😤😤

Hawks (Boku no Hero Academia/ My Hero Academia)

*covers my face in shame* ffs it's so transparent lol

FINAL PICK - WILDCARD: Éowyn(The Lord of the Rings)

Ohhhhhhh and it's the Shieldmaiden of Rohan with the steel chair! The Witch King goes down, and he's not getting back up-! 3! 2! 1! And the crowd goes BALLISTIC!!!

I want to write a fic about her 😐 I want her to have a whole alter ego as one of the Rohirrim's best warriors 😳 I want her, seventeen and coltish, to down her first orc, standing in defense of another, and to know with absolute certainty that she wanted to protect everyone she could… 👁️👁️ yes I know I already did lotr but you're what??? Gonna stop HER???

Tagging @katlou303 @theraynealchemist @looks-like-starlight @zebrabaker @iamnotakitty @kazumirina @eruditeempress @ellorypurebloodculture @welpjesuisla @hidingfromthefeels and whoever else wants to have a go! 💕

[andi-dromeda]

With the new all caste since they’re a trio I thought it’d be fun to compare them to the trinity.

First up is Jason and Bruce. They’re both from Gotham, have strong senses of justice, want to help people, have similar training and in my specific au both are trapped unable to kill the joker. The gist is Jason’s a god of justice and if he kills the Joker he’ll ascend to his own divinity and he doesn’t want to do that because he sees his humanity as one of the most important aspects of his morality. Then for their differences Jason grew up poor facing so many hardships where Bruce was rich and had one big trauma but only the one (not to minimise it, I’m just saying Bruce’s backstory is usually the singular tragedy whereas Jason’s whole life was just drenched in tragedy.) Also Bruce’s main rules are no metas/magic in Gotham, no killing, no guns and Jason breaks every one of them.

I didn’t choose to compare Tara and Diana just because they’re the women of the team I swear I just realised they had a lot of parallels. Diana is a noble princess who was so wanted that her mother literally carved her out of clay where Tara was the illegitimate daughter of a king. Tara’s talent was hardly ever recognised, she was denied a connection to her family’s supposed divine right to rule, she was experimented on and was surrounded by men who kept letting her down. Yet they’re both strong warriors, trained in combat and also both grew up isolated. Both children stuck in a mostly adult world. And also Diana was made of clay and Tara has rock powers.

So you’re probably wondering what could I possibly say for Grant and Clark. Grant was a rich nepo baby who had cruel, distant parents so he ran away, got experimented on, twisted into a weapon and and did whatever it took to separate himself from his lineage. Whereas Clark is a down to earth farm boy who has some of the best parents in all of DC, who never turned him in to be experimented on for being an alien and he struggles to feel connected to his kryptonion roots. Also, Clark is desperate to cling to his humanity but Grant’s main thing in this au is that he doesn’t want to be human. Even in canon he chose the serum. For the similarities: they’re both southern, both strong, both created legacy identities and both died.