#my mommy manipulator who loves pulling you apart and making you cry only to be sooo smitten

[lorelune]

jing yuan does not enjoy putting you in objective pain however he does love/revel/crave your discomfort and more specifically, your embarrassment. he loves making you squirm and enjoys every moment that you flounder and stammer as he pokes and prods you verbally. god forbid you beg him to stop, or be nicer, or to go easier on you. you're fucked.

[bibblelevi]

How many rounds of soft, so so tender hand/blowjobs can kitty levi go with owner reader (maybe it eventually evolves into sex when he cries desperately for more than just your mouth/hands)? especially if kitty/human zeke is playing the voyeur, so to speak, and is intently watching the ever-stoic Levi submit, beg and lose himself so easily.

Warnings for threesome, hybrids, pet play, voyeurism, kitties Levi and Zeke, overstimulation, dumbification, crying, begging, somnophilia (dub con), manipulative Zeke(?), mommy kink

As many you choose. He may be a brat, but in the end, he’s eager to please you. Though, it make take some restraints on both of his wrists to prevent him from lashing out over the overstimulation.

And Zeke loves watching Levi get his cock sucked by you. Mostly because he gets a sick, sadistic satisfaction from watching Levi completely fall apart in front of his very eyes—the same Levi who’s always busting his balls and glaring daggers at him.

Sometimes the best way to punish Levi is to give him everything he wants and more to a point he can’t fucking take it. Allowing Zeke to watch is just the cherry on top, too.

Your hand is big enough to swallow Levi’s cock completely, his flushed red tip barely poking out of your fist. His length and balls are slathered in white, disgusting squelching sounds emanating from between his thighs, combining with every soft mews that fall from his bitten lips.

He’ll squirm and strain, flexing his wrists about, trying to arch away from your touch when you don’t stop despite the fact he’s come three times already. After the fourth climax, he’s full on sobbing, the noises turning completely broken by the time your mouth is back on his cock.

“C’can’t,” Levi whimpers. Zeke’s eyes glow as he watches his back stretch into a stringent arch, inner thighs aching from how long you’ve forced them open. “Can’t come anymore, Mommy.”

“Really?” You hum around his cock, only pulling your mouth off for a second. “You’ve been fucking yourself silly with your hands and my pillows—I thought you needed it.”

“‘S too much,” he cries. “Please, please—“

One thing Zeke loathes is how easily you cave when it comes to Levi. You simply can’t let him hurt or cry for too long before you’re pampering and kissing him all over, wiping away his tears with your thumbs, washing him and putting him to bed.

That’s why Zeke feels so inclines to put his mouth on Levi’s cock as he sleeps and suck, so that when he wakes up in the morning, he’s already wet and desperate, leaking from the tip. This time around, he knows you won’t let him come so soon again. Not after all those orgasms. Perfect for Zeke, because now he can watch Levi stew in his own torment, fucked out of his mind and plaint all day long.

[gingersnaaps]

making things right

you and iwaizumi just aren't meant to be, and if he has to fuck some sense into your little brain for you to understand, then so be it.

wc: 2.8k

tags/tw's(PLEASE READ): noncon, explicit n*fw, blackmail, emotional manipulation, emotional sadism, dumbification, degradation, fem!reader with inner genitals, has something resembling an actual plot

a/n: i couldn't decide which way i wanted to go with the plot, so i just did both. read a darker version of this here

i don't want minors interacting with my content

Oikawa really doesn’t like how much time Iwaizumi has been spending around you lately.

It’s not that he’s jealous, of course - that kind of pettiness is far beneath him - it just doesn’t seem right. It’s not the natural order of things for someone as pretty as you, all soft skin and glowing smiles, to be practically draped around Iwaizumi all the fucking time.

He’s counted, you know, and today was the thirty-eighth time that you’ve visited their lunch table and somehow ended up on Iwaizumi’s lap.

And doesn’t he also have to think of his team? The Spring Interhigh’s coming up, and it wouldn’t do for one of the most important players on the team to be constantly distracted. He’s seen the way Iwaizumi looks at you: it’s adoration encapsulated in a gaze, the kind of tenderness and admiration that he’s only ever seen Iwaizumi direct at himself.

Oikawa’s going to have to fix this, isn’t he? He’s going to have to make everything the way it should be.

-

He finds that he enjoys the constant planning and brainstorming and especially the fantasizing far more than he’d anticipated.

Oikawa notes down which days you go home immediately after school, which days you stay, and the routes you take home. He writes down all your friends in a little notebook, familiarizes himself with the classes you take, and pays extra attention to your mood swings.

Of course, as he spends more and more time detailing every aspect of your life, it’s only natural for his thoughts to… wander. In class, he catches his own attention drifting away from Japanese literature to thoughts of what you’d look like strung out on his cock, eyes squeezing out tears as he stuffs you full and claims your pussy. He thinks about how slutty your skirt looks when you’re bending over, and about how much he’d like to rip it off of you. He likes to imagine how Iwaizumi would react, too - the way he’d cry and sob and finally understand that you don’t belong with someone like him.

He finds that these thoughts allow him to tolerate Iwaizumi’s presence near you a lot better, even though the two of you have only grown closer as of late. When you start getting particularly obnoxious with your flirting, he just has to picture you screaming in pain as he fucks you dry, or think about the bulge in your throat from his cock shoved deep inside your mouth. And when he sees Iwaizumi finally ask you out on a date to the ramen place nearby, he almost feels sorry for how short-lived, how temporary, your romance is going to be.

As the weeks go by and the Interhigh draws near, Oikawa thinks he’s got a pretty good idea of how to make it happen.

It starts off almost too easy.

Oikawa’s usually the one who stays late after practice, slamming his serves into the opposite end of the court until his vision goes dizzy and his arms turn numb. But Iwaizumi - bless his generosity - had planned on staying after to help a few of the first years out with their serves.

He waits at the school gates, scanning the entrance for any sign of you. You should be finishing up with your little club soon if the notes he’d been keeping were any indication, and sure enough, he spots your bright teal jacket scurrying towards the gates after just a few minutes.

Oikawa plasters on his friendliest smile, waving you towards him. “Hey,” he greets. “Iwa-chan told me to wait for you today. Do you want to come over? He’ll be along in just a minute - he’s just cleaning up the gym a bit.”

“Aren’t you the captain?” you tease. “So much for being responsible.”

He forces out a laugh. Do you realize how insufferable you are? Because you’re really not doing yourself any favors with the way you’re acting. But he pushes down the surge of anger that threatens to spill over, because he knows you’ll change your tune as soon as you arrive at his place.

He can’t wait.

The walk home is filled with empty banter, useless conversation that flits back and forth on the most boring of topics. To be honest, Oikawa appreciates this - it gives him the mental room to think about much more interesting things, like the way your breasts are pushing against the jacket, or the slight sheen of your lip gloss. Or, alternatively, the way your breasts would look spilling out of his hands, and the way your shiny lips would look smeared with spit and cum.

He places a hand on your waist as he guides you inside his house, but you stiffen. “Isn’t Hajime supposed to have caught up to us by now?” you ask.

Hajime.

First name basis, huh?

It’s a small detail, but it’s the kind of change that has him seeing red at the periphery of his vision, the kind that makes him want to ruin your slutty body until it's bruised and leaking cum. He’s been friends with Iwaizumi for twelve years. Twelve years, and all he’s gotten from him is a nickname. You’ve known him for barely a fucking year, and here you are, sauntering away with his first name.

His hand on your waist tightens, gripping and squeezing at your lovely flesh until he can feel you wince in pain. “I’m afraid it might be a while,” he says, voice brittle.

“What do you mean?” you ask, turning around, your eyes widening.

Oikawa shoves you inside and slams the door. “I mean,” he hisses. “That your precious Hajime won’t be coming around anytime soon.”

Panic rises in your throat, but he slaps a hand over your mouth quicker than you can scream. All that escapes is a strangled cry, weak and thin, one that quickly dies out in the entrance hall of his house. It’s much too quiet to reach any neighbors, you realize with a sinking feeling. The last bit of faint hope you harbor in the back of your mind dies when you realize that there’s no concerned housewife coming to check on the commotion, no fumbling child who might stumble in on you and Oikawa. You’re alone. You’re fucked.

He’d made sure of it.

“Bitches like you are so stupid, aren’t you? Making me spell everything out for you.” His voice drips condescension as he yanks you by the hair towards the bedroom. There’s no reason to put up an act anymore, he thinks, so he can be as rough as he wants with his new toy - he just has to make sure he returns you in one piece to Iwaizumi. Oikawa’s sure he won’t mind if you’re a little beat up around the edges, a little used by the end of this.

As he throws you down on the bed, the thought gives him immense satisfaction. You’d been so eager to do things with Iwaizumi - he’d coaxed out embarrassed confessions from his friend over late-night calls - so he’s almost sure that you’re a needy slut during sex.

Of course, you’re not nearly so eager now, not when he’s holding your squirming body down on the bed.

“You do realize that this is what you get, right? It’s your fault for being this fucking easy. Should’ve thought a bit harder about going home with me. Did your mommy and daddy never teach you to not trust men?” he says, face curling into a smile.

You’re unable to get a word out, mouth dry and cottony from the fear that pierces you. He watches your eyes flicker between the bulge in his pants and his face, uncertain and wary, like a deer caught in headlights. Oikawa can’t help the sick pleasure that bubbles up within him at the look on your face.

“Please,” you say hoarsely. “Please.”

“You have to use your words, you know. You could be begging me to stop, but I think you like this. I think you’re begging me to get on with it,” he says.

Maybe he’s taking it a step too far with the dramatics, but he can’t bring himself to tone it down - not when he’s right about to get to the good bit, and certainly not when he sees those pretty tears trickling down your face.

He looks you up and down appraisingly. He’d always thought you were rather pretty, with your soft halo of hair and your glittering smile - but he can’t deny that there’s a special sort of charm in the way you fidget uncomfortably under his gaze.

It makes him hungry.

As he spreads your thighs apart, all he can think about is how much he wants to claim you, to ruin you, because that’s what he imagines fucking you is like: ownership and victory spread on his tongue while your juices drench his cock. All the filthy dreams he’s had, every fantasy he’s gotten off to late at night, and the stifling heat spreading through his core is begging him to fuck you, to ravish your tight hole until the only name you know is his own.

He doesn’t really want to bother with prep. He’s sure that stretching you out on three - no, maybe four fingers until you scream would be fun, but you don’t deserve that kind of special treatment. Aren’t sluts like you supposed to be wet all the time anyway?

You can feel the outline of his dick dragging along your soft thighs, pressing close to your cunt, a breathy moan escaping his lips from the friction of his sweatpants grinding against your body. It’s not long before he pulls his cock out all the way and strokes it a few times. He grabs at your hips, maneuvering you like a rag doll, and fits the tip of his cock at your fluttering entrance. Nudging at your hole, he pushes in just the head of his cock - enough so you can feel the sting of his girth, but not nearly deep enough to offer any real relief.

You whine involuntarily, and a grin lights up his face. “You’re desperate, aren’t you?” he asks, dragging a thumb against your lips. “Is it because Iwa-chan doesn’t fuck you well enough? Is his pathetic dick too small to fill up that hole of yours properly?” he leers. “I’ve seen his cock before… mine’s bigger, you know.”

“Fuck you,” you mumble. You’re dizzy from the fear and panic that clouds your brain, but anger still seeps into your veins at his crude words.

Maybe if your head was a bit clearer, you would’ve realized that only stupid girls talk back.

Oikawa’s hips snap into yours harshly, his cock tearing at your insides, and you let out a strangled gasp. You’re not prepared for how well his cock stretches you out - it’s curved in all the right places, ramming into your cervix, brushing up against your tender g-spot - and as he ruthlessly pounds your frail body into the mattress, your mind blanks, overloaded with sensation. You can’t remember who you are, or why you’re getting fucked. The only thing on your mind is the raw feeling of being cunt split wide open, of having your insides rearranged until you’re a drooling, dumb mess.

“Fuck who?” he asks, shoving two fingers inside your sloppy mouth,

“F- fuck…” you whisper. His fingers are gripping at your hips so tightly you can feel the skin beginning to bruise, and there’s just too much to handle. He’s everywhere; his fingers probe around your mouth, making you gag, and his cock drags along your tender walls until you’re left quivering around his length.

He leans down to kiss at your forehead, his lips brushing tenderly against your hair. “You can do it, baby,” he encourages, cooing at you. “You can say it.”

“Fuck me,” you whimper quietly, cheeks burning with shame.

“Good girl,” he says, voice sickly sweet. “I knew you could do it for me.”

Fucking you feels so much better once you’re compliant, he thinks. He slows down a bit, savoring the sensation of your cunt twitching uselessly while you writhe on the bed in pleasure. He feels a sharp jolt of arousal as he looks at the marks he’s left all over you, admiring how the angry bruises on your hips and waist are beginning to purple.

You tug at his shirt, sniffling and crying. “Please,” you beg. You’re not sure what you’re asking for anymore, not even sure whether you want Oikawa to stop or continue, but you can’t handle the way he’s slowly fucking you senseless.

He raises an eyebrow. “You want it faster?” he asks cruelly, bouncing you into his cock. There’s no response on your end, but Oikawa thinks he’ll take that as a yes. And if that’s what you want?

Well, that’s what you get.

The hum of pleasure in your core intensifies as he picks up speed again. This time, he angles his cock until it grinds down harshly on your sensitive spot, leaving your legs limp and body helpless as your cunt tightens like a vice. As you shudder from the orgasm that washes over you, he spills into your pussy until your hole is leaking white down your thighs.

You can feel him laughing softly as he pulls out and climbs to rest beside you, leaving you stuck in a pool of your own sweat and cum and. He wipes the remaining cum off of his cock, smearing it on your face, but you barely react. You feel so dirty, so tainted and violated, but you’re not sure you could move even if you tried - his cock has left you boneless and made sure that every square inch of your body is sore and aching.

“Well,” he says, breathless. “Better run home unless you want Iwa-chan to know you’ve been all used up.”

Hajime? Your eyes widen, welling up with tears.

Oikawa unlocks the phone in his hand and presses play.

The sounds that echo through the empty room make you feel like screaming, because there’s no denying the solid, tangible proof that’s being played back. Your breathy moans are clear as day, and it’s unmistakable when you hear yourself begging Oikawa to fuck you harder, faster, to split you apart on his cock.

With a sinking feeling, you know there’s no explanation that would ever satisfy Hajime if he heard this audio. You can already see the pain in his eyes if he were to find out that his best friend for the past twelve years had ruined you, fucked you so thouroughly that you could barely tell the difference between pain and pleasure.

You don’t want that, you realize miserably. You can’t have that.

“I’m not going to send it,” he says. He sees hope creep into your expression, as if you’re almost daring to believe that you could go back to your normal life after this little session, but he doesn’t feel any pity for you when he speaks again.

“Not if you stay away.”

You and Hajime don’t belong together anyway, so why would he be sorry?

Your eyes drop as you inhale shakily. Oikawa watches you fumble around for your clothing, entertained by the way you trip and stumble as your weak legs attempt to hold you upright. It makes for an awkward, ugly image - but he can’t deny the warm thrill of satisfaction that runs up his spine as you slink out of his bedroom.

He’s finally making things right.

-

When you go to school the next day, you’re glad that you don’t have any classes with Hajime for the first time ever. It makes it easier to avoid him, and you purposely choose to sit as far away as possible from their table in the lunchroom. You don’t bother responding to his messages either, every single text of his sending a bitter jolt of pain through you, and you eventually block his number.

Weeks later, you’re not sure he’d believe you even if you were to explain everything. What would you even say? That you’d been ignoring him and ghosting him because his best friend of twelve years had raped and blackmailed you? That someone he knows and trusts was capable of devastating violence? Oikawa and him seem closer than ever, and you start to wonder at your own stupidity. To think that you could ever get in between a bond as close as theirs - maybe Oikawa was right all along.

You’re walking home alone one day, the hazy late-day sun bathing the roads in a shimmering heat, when you hear footsteps and a voice behind you. Your heart hammers unsteadily, getting ready to run, when you hear three words that make your stomach drop.

“I’ve missed you.”

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Pomegranate Seeds 3

well we got some BIG projecting going on here. if yall didn’t know i had mommy issues before, you sure as fuck do now 😂😂😂

Warnings: insecure Jask, allusions to verbally abusive/manipulative parents, lmao rebellious jask, good ole miscommunication between jask and geralt - but solved quickly, lol swearing

___________

Letter after letter reached Jaskier in the underworld, and time after time, he destroyed them. He didn’t tell Geralt, telling himself it was because the ruler of the underworld had more important things to deal with. He didn’t want to admit he was scared Geralt would send him packing. 

Eventually, Demeter resorted to threats. Threats of famine that she followed through on. She underestimated just how like her Jaskier was, though. He didn’t dignify her tantrum with a response. 

When she sent messengers, he started to worry.

He told Charon to alert him, not Geralt, if another god or goddess came to visit, even one of the more senior demigods. He didn’t want to take any chances. Geralt didn’t need to know anyway. 

But Geralt noticed something was off.

Jaskier would say he was tired, or he couldn’t perfect a specific verse of the song he was writing. Usually it worked, but it was only ever a salve, never a cure, for Geralt’s suspicions. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Geralt cradled him in his lap, lounging in the now lavish courtyard under the pomegranate tree Jaskier had brought back from the brink of death. 

Jaskier nuzzled closer, “I’m just ti-”

“No, I asked you what’s wrong,” Geralt insisted, giving him a gentle squeeze and placing a kiss to the top of his head. 

“It’s nothing,” Jaskier lied, hoping the sigh he accidentally let slip didn’t register, “You don’t need to worry about it.” 

Geralt hummed and went quiet for a moment before he curled a bit tighter around Jaskier and whispered, “Do you want to go home?” 

Jaskier scrambled up, sputtering and terrified, “Did she get to you?!” When Geralt just looked at him with an unreadable expression he started to panic, feeling hot tears welling up in his eyes as he did his best to keep his voice steady, “Don’t send me back. Please, Geralt. Anything but that.”

“I’d never,” Geralt soothed, standing and hesitantly reaching for Jaskier’s hand. 

He eyed the offer warily, sniffing and trying to calm himself, “Then why would you say that?”

“I thought you were unhappy. You’ve been… acting strange.” 

Jaskier ignored Geralt’s outstretched hand, choosing to wrap himself around Geralt’s torso and bury his face in the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry. I’ll be better tomorrow. It’s just, uhm. I’m just a bit off.” 

Geralt instinctively held him tighter, “Jaskier I want you to be happy, not ‘better’.”

Jaskier just hummed, swallowing back his unshed tears. 

“Who were you talking about?”

For a moment, Jaskier had to remind himself to breathe before he could respond, “Hm?”

“You asked if someone had ‘gotten’ to me?”

Tears spilled regardless of Jaskier’s best efforts, “My mother. She wants me to come back. She’s been sending letters and messengers.”

“And you don’t want to?” 

“Never,” Jaskier insisted, “This is the most freedom I've ever had. I don’t have to hide in the treetops to feel any sense of calm, I get to make decisions, I make things grow when I want, for whom I want.”

Geralt ran a hand over his hair, resting it at the base of his skull and brushing his thumb through the little hairs behind his ear, “You don’t ever have to leave. I love you. I want you here.” 

“I love you too,” Jaskier whispered, “I’m just scared.” 

Geralt gently pushed him back just enough to look into his eyes, “There’s a way you could stay forever…”

The hopeful glint in his eyes told Geralt everything he needed to know, so he continued, “If you eat even one pomegranate seed you will be tethered to the underworld. You can stay and do whatever pleases you. But it is irreversible. One bite and your fate is forever tied to this place.” 

Jaskier thought about it for a moment, searching Geralt’s eyes for something, anything, that could make the decision for him, “I could never leave?” 

“Only if the both of us willed it and only for a short time,” Geralt explained, tenderly wiping his tears away, “I could never keep you here if you were miserable. Try as I might to think about anything else, your happiness consumes much of my thoughts.” 

“Hmm,” Jaskier leaned into Geralt’s touch, turning his head to kiss his palm, “Do I need to decide right now?”

Geralt kissed his forehead, “Of course not. It’s just an option.”

“Okay,” Jaskier sighed, curling his fingers around the robes cascading down Geralt’s back, “I like it - the idea. I just… I want to take my time?” 

“Absolutely.”

-

Time wasn’t something Jaskier was allowed apparently. 

The two of them were just climbing out of a lovely bath when a chattering skeleton announced the arrival of a visitor. 

Demeter stood in the throne room with her back turned to them, examining one of the glowing diamonds when they entered. She looked so small, almost insignificant. Her hair was in an intricate braid, she wore a cream toga, adorned with gold that made her look more like a savior than the horror she really was. 

Jaskier gripped Geralt’s hand tightly and pulled them to a halt, knowing very well Demeter wanted him to speak first. It was a stand off he was familiar with. If he spoke first she had the upper hand, hearing his tone and picking apart his words. She always knew how particular her son was with words. 

“Julek. It’s time to go.”

Her voice echoed off the stone walls as she calmly stated her order, not even bothering to turn and look at him. 

Jaskier took a deep breath and squeezed Geralt’s hand, not looking at him for fear of crying, “No.” 

“Playtime is over. You have duties. The humans did not prepare for you to leave. They’re calling it winter,” she snorted as if the idea was as ridiculous as standing on your head in a temple. 

Jaskier grit his teeth, feeling the rage bubble up in his chest, “I don’t care.”

“Clearly,” She rounded on him with a condescending look of disappointment, “It doesn’t matter if you care. They’re still your responsibility.” 

Jaskier took a step forward, “A responsibility you assigned me. You fixed it before, fix it now.”

“I cant.” 

“Tough shit.”

Jaskier wasn’t sure how any of his words were coming out without sounding absolutely hysterical, but he was glad for it. He glared at her, daring her to try again while internally he was scrambling for a plan.

“For this particular magic, I need you. Seasons will take more work than a year round harvest, but you have set them off nonetheless.” Demeter’s voice was softer than usual, though Jaskier didn’t miss the incincerity of her words. She’d raised him. He knew her, probably better than she knew herself for all the introspection she refused to take part in, and he knew she was playing games. 

"Oh? Are you no longer capable?" Jaskier laughed bitterly as he turned to walk toward the courtyard, "The great goddess of plenty and harvest can't sustain what she's built? Unfortunate. I am good at what I do here. I am so good at caring about the souls that end up in our audience-"

"Our!?"

"DONT interrupt me," Jaskier shouted, turned and stomped his heel into the ground making vines burst forth from the marble beneath them, wrapping around Demeter's waist and mouth, "I have also found I'm rather adept at torture when necessary. I love it down here! I love being able to right wrongs and show the righteous to Elysium. I love having a purpose to my actions, not just being someone's unappreciated trophy! And I love Geralt. He treats me so well and loves me so sweetly and wants only to make me happy. Nothing about your 'seasons' and 'bringing life' interests me in the slightest, Demeter. Because that's not who I am. I am rage and justice and I am to be feared, not manipulated. Take your failing crops and go." Jaskier waved a hand dismissively and the vines disappeared back into the ground. 

Without looking back, he strode toward the pomegranate tree in the center of the garden, plucking a fruit from the nearest branch and turning to glare at his mother. Geralt was hot on his heels, glancing between the two but keeping quiet. Jaskier had told him he wanted to confront her himself, without her thinking he’d been told what to say. So Geralt stood by and seethed. 

Jaskier pulled a knife from the holster in Geralt’s belt and sliced a nice section out of the pomegranate. 

“Don’t you dare.” Demeter snarled, standing at the edge of the courtyard. 

Jaskier smirked and peeled the white fiber from the blood red seeds with a casual sigh, “I don’t think your opinion matters much here.” 

Jaskier flipped the knife in the air and caught it by the blade, maintaining eye contact with Demeter as he handed it back to Geralt.

“Are you sure?” Geralt’s voice was just a whisper as he took the blade.

Jaskier picked a particularly dark red seed from it’s home and turned to look at him, “There’s absolutely nowhere else I’d rather be, my love.” 

With that he popped the seed in his mouth. 

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep25 (Season Finale)

ah~ I finished furuba’s Season 2..T_T.. now my life is empty..that’s a good ep!

- A moment with yuki:

I think there’s sth I still don’t understand abt yuki’s tohru-mom feelings...I thought that yuki after acknowledging such feelings, will slowly build a healthier, more equal relationship with tohru  & the only reason he didn’t tell her is cuz he wants her to be ready & not worry. So today, it makes sense that he comes & tells tohru he stood up for himself & was scared but made it! he’s proud of himself & tohru should be proud of him, too. Also, it helps tohru let go of worrying abt him & realize his growth. All amazing!!! However, the scene was depicted in a way that screams, “look mommy, I’ did it!” rather than a friend reaching out & proudly telling a friend. it really cemented the mom-son dynamics. I felt “awe look at him proudly telling his mom” sth I thought, we’ll be slowly moving away from towards more equal dynamics. Yuki was drawn extra thin & he was leaning as if he was waiting for a head pat. Nothing is wrong with yuki wanting motherly feels since he never got one but i felt nothing changed between them. yuki still below tohru. I mean he’ll never be able to repay her kindness. true. but I thought the story will let us see him standing taller bit by bit, y’know? I know he still calls her honda-san & perhaps him finally calling her “tohru” is when they’re equal..but shouldn’t he move slowly towards that? rather than suddenly coming & thanking her for being his much needed mother figure? why is this scene depicted with extremely strong mother-son feel? could it be cuz yuki is still putting tohru in a pedestal? he told momiji “did u do sth worthy of honda-san’s praise” as if tohru isn’t the person who praises momiji for a cute uniform or kyo for making a standard riceball. hmm, maybe yuki can’t be equal to her if he still sees her as the sky or an angel or someone who desperately needs protection. tohru is precious to him & he’ll protect her with his life, but I thought he’ll do so as a friend, not as a son. Maybe SE03 is abt him learning to see tohru as a normal, lacking but still amazing person? I’d love to see that!!

- Shigure ( the main character ):

It’s always forgotten that this goofy, good for nuthin dude is a main character. But once he turns dark & reveals his face, no doubt that this guy is the plot’s leader! Shigure doesn't do lengthy inner monologues, nor his actions are easy to read. Mayuko is right “ he is like a ripple in the water” .The stages of shigues’s emotions:

Bitter: “why not let yuki take responsibility & tend for akito?” mocking akito’s bedridden status over yuki’s defiance. “ why u ask abt tohru in the phone?” & proceeds to mock kureno for calling. Tohru would never answer the phone first. “ you’re featherbrained” cruelly mocking him using a pun on his zodiac while suspecting he isn’t one anymore. Only shigure is capable of such salt!

Silent Anger: looking at akito as she rants abt him not coming to her first! not choosing her first. while she’s the one who didn’t choose him. “you’re one to talk” Epic!! “ what do you want from her?” shigure had no right intruding on kureno’s business with tohru. but he’s too angry to behave. Kureno answers like a good boy.

Refusing to play blind: hatori looking for excuses for akito’s behavior within the curse’s lore. Shigure fires back with “haven’t u ever felt sth off with kureno?”. They all did. “ Ah~at long at last” not even waiting for kureno to say first.

Sticking his finger in open wounds: “don’t accept it?scared? sad? emotionally attached to the bond?” Verdict: “devious” he’s calling out  hatori & kureno both!

Embracing himself with no regrets: “ weak, intolerant, worthless, worst kind of man”. He embodies his own description of himself as he talks to kureno over the phone & sends tohru. “ see you later” only the worst kind of man uses tohru like that. sending her with no clue to an emotional shock. He wants the situation to escalates. He’ll use tohru if he have to. Let’s see if kureno’s “kindness” spares tohru the pain or if it tears her heart apart as it has been tearing everybody, kureno induced!

-Akito’s manipulating tactics start to backfire:

“ I speak cruelly of you, You know I don’t say it out of spite” very typical sentence abusers say to further their grasp around others. Insult them cruelly, then play the kind apologetic card. It makes the other person linger longer. “X didn’t meant it. X actually cares. X just lost control”. It happens in domestic abuse cases all the time.. it never changes..it never stops. Akito knows when she’s loosing her grip on someone. she feels it. Her ego doesnt let her acknowledge it. However, seeing akito’s innocent young self humanized her so much. She wasn’t despicable since birth as we’ve seen in yuki’s flashback, but here she was even more innocent than with yuki. Could it be cuz it’s from kureno’s perspective? someone older than her? or she treated older male zodiacs differently. Akito knew kureno’s curse broke as he himself did. hmm. it’s the bond, so the ruler does have a connection with the zodiacs. Akito fearing kureno’s abandonment is understandable. Akito using tears, screams, pleads & frantic behavior, “so typical of spoiled children” to get kureno to stay. It is a working tactic. A tactic that abusive adults use in toxic relationships so much & works to trap the other party to stay. Stay with me cuz you pity me, yes, but I’m the one on control. Keeping in mind akito’s age here, she looks 6? 10 maximum! is really twisted. Akito learned early one that manipulation works. She gets what she wants by playing games, whether it’s tears, pity, rage, ridicule, mockery, bets, humiliation, or sexual seduction. It reinforces her behavior that nothing can stand between her & her desires. curse or no curse. If she can keep a  non-cursed person, then the cursed ones are way weaker to leave. This, off course doesn’t justify her abusive behavior with yuki/ kyo/ momiji/ kisa/ rin/ haru/ hatori but today, we got a small window open into her psyche. The best “antagonist” is someone with irrational behavior that stems from twisted mindset! She is so interesting!

-Kureno & ( the most destructive foolish traveler):

So, kureno stayed with akito cuz he can’t turn a sad, lonely, fragile child away. Can’t bear to break her heart. The child became a woman. The woman needed him in bed, he can’t turn a sad lonely woman away. He gave in & their relationship became even more twisted with the complexity of intimacy issues. Kureno said “ arisa is the first person he ever loved on his own”. meaning that he slept with akito using the remaining feelings of attachment of his previous bond. EXACTLY as shigure said while questioning hatori’s refusal to believe the curse can break“ emotionally attached to the bond”. He continued this unbalanced sexual affair with her. completely submissive to her moods & whims. Unbalanced relationship cuz both stayed together for twisted reasons “unable to let go”, She has control over him since she’s the family head, over even his freedom outside the house, He is willingly submissive to her, choosing to not seek his happiness,  not standing up & denying her, or stopping her or telling her sth as simple as “ i want to go out to the supermarket”. content & satisfied with his dull, lifeless life. Until akito “ the sad child/ the sad woman doesn’t need him anymore??? but kureno can see that him staying by akito’s side didn’t do shit to improve anybody’s situation!!! Akito is still miserable! even before tohru appears in their lives. all the zodiacs were miserable & united in a toxic fake bond. The bond is so fake that all this time there was a fake imposter & no one dared to question. They’re so accustomed to submissive obedience that they don’t dare to hope. Only shigure. The intolerant jerk saw through it all.

-Kureno is a different kind of foolish traveler. He helped no one. Not even the person he gave his eyes to, Akito didn’t benefit from his kindness. He didn’t benefit, nor arisa, nor any zodiac. What kureno’s kindness brought him is misery. What it brought the sohma’s is enabling abuse & continuation of current toxic atmosphere. He is a more sever enabler than hatori. Hatori enabled the continuation of the curse by erasing memories & staying by akito’s bed tending for her with no life of his own. But hatori knows he’s a sinner & hatori is still chained by the bond. Kureno is free to leave. Yet, he’s still here deceiving everybody & suffering alone while pretending to be content with fake smile. Was Kureno raised to always follow orders? No personality. No needs. Still, he decides to continue even after given a chance to leave now!!!! he lost the first chance due to a promise he made while he was afraid, lonely & felt pity. Now, he knows someone there loves him (arisa), he has a new friend (tohru), someone flat out told him to freakin leave (shigure). Still, he feels that causing akito to break down & cry is cruel. The most passive character in the shows I’ve watched!! Kuteno is another proof of this brilliant writer! there are many kureno’s around us. hurting themselves & others by staying in the cycle of abuse. The writer is really brilliant for writing such variety of characters. Who cares if fans find him appealing or not? hot or dull? good or bad? that’s not the issue here. He fits the plot so amazingly & realistically represents real life ppl who are caught between causing immense harm & being severely harmed, between helping & ruining! Kureno just closed his own caged tight shut behind him. so foolish, so tragic!

Side Notes:

Momiji pulling tohru to his level to tell her abt his achievement is cute! I was told he’s supposed to be taller than tohru now! can’t wait to see that!

Momiji’s been dressing more mature for a while, such as the violin ep, ep24 & now. All three tops while still having so much decorations, a hint of feminine designs are still in tune with momiji’s funky spirit! Also they are NOT toddler-like clothes! at all. I’m convinced it is done on purpose!! baby is growing!

I love dark shigure!! OMG! the story take a whole other level once he turns dark & turns off the goofy mode, activating the bitter mode! He was raw with no mercy & unveiled hatori’s hidden feelings with no hesitation. He tore kureno like a vicious dog! I LOVE.

Akito’s Japaneses VA is queen! & shigure’s Japaneses VA is so amazing!! can’t wait for his American VA!!! he’s one of my faves!

the bond breaking visuals are perfect! 10/10. No words needed.

tohru does have a women’s intuition! She is the most emotionally intelligent & socially perceptive character in furuba, just as long as it’s not abt herself. XD

tohru had a flashback within a flashback! lol. flashback inception!

they gave tohru a lil bit bigger boobies than usual!! my girl is maturing, too? =D

The scene of kureno & akito’s innocent childhood & the curse lifting being cut & inserted all over the ep is EPIC!! 10/10 presentation. It gave the ep eerie & distorted feel. Exactly as both kureno & akito felt. 

The scenes of tohru realizing sth is off with kureno’s curse is 10/10.

“ how did the curse break?” tohru’s first question! wow! I thought it was good for you, I’m happy, then ask afterwards. But NO. Interesting!!!!

I love that there is NO explanation of why the curse broke!!! I hope there is NEVER any explanation!! plz don’t let it be sth magical kureno did without noticing or anything. Let it either be random to keep the suspense as we wouldn’t know who’s is next or let be sth abt the bond somehow. But not sth tohru herself needs to do!

I still don’t understand kureno much, but I find him well-written for the reasons mentioned in my post. As for akito, I still don’t know much abt her. I doubt I’ll like her easily. But I can feel that her part in the story would be so amazingly entertaining!!

Shigure is the most unique furuba character hands down!!!!! this unbelievably entertaining jerk! is hot too.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Incubus”

Incubus is a special type of metahuman that can enter people’s mind and the only one known to possess such abilities is Y/N. Captured by an underground agency and forced to obey orders, she has a new task today: to get inside The Joker’s head and find out where he stashed half a billion dollars after he pulled what everybody calls “the heist of the century”.

“Regression will begin shortly,” one of the doctors announces on the intercom. “Prepare for countdown.”

You lay on the cold metal table next to the Joker’s body: he’s medicated into a dreamless sleep, ready to have you purge his mind for the answer to the burning question: where did he stash half a billion dollars?

After being arrested two weeks ago, The King of Gotham refused to speak and disclose any information to the authorities; they tried everything: drugs, blackmail, best intimidation tactics and psychologists without success.

J didn’t crack.

Fed up with the puzzling mystery, CIA decided to use the top secret research facility operating under the grid where the infamous Incubus is held prisoner.

“A few reminders,” the flat voice echoes in the sealed laboratory. “Do not attempt to elude us, we have your little girl! If you aim to play us we’ll revoke visiting time.”

You blankly stare at the ceiling, upset they repeat the same rules when you’re forced to use your powers; the 15 minutes you’re allowed to spend with Mia on Saturdays is all you live for since they incarcerated both of you six months ago.

How you wish you could kill them but they found a solution to prevent you from rebelling.

“Please note that in case you plan to get inside our brains and compel us to stop breathing, your daughter will die. Confirm acknowledgement.”

“Confirm,” you bitterly reply because it hurts to have your child endangered; you could end them right this moment if it wasn’t for her.

Unfortunately, they found a way to subdue your terrific ability: the crew assigned to project Incubus carries portable heart monitoring devices 24/7; they resemble wrist watches and if just one individual’s pulse deactivates, it will set of the explosive in Mia’s collar. The 5 years old has no clue that what she believes to be a cute necklace is actually a device meant to eradicate her.

“Countdown to regression,” the clinician reports and the speakers carry his words around the room. “Five, four, three, two, one. Initiate!”

**************

You walk in the darkness, surprised you didn’t bump into memories yet: usually that’s the first thing you stumble upon when invading a person’s subconscious. He’s been under your spell for 10 minutes now and the void proves his twisted mind is probably worse than anyone thinks: The Clown is lost in the maze of his own insanity.

A couple more steps and you finally distinguish four doors ahead which means you’ll be able to analyze The Joker’s recollections.  

First Door

The little boy cries in the middle of the room and you slowly approach, wondering if you should interfere or just observe. But tears fall from those innocent blue eyes and the fact that he’s maybe your daughter’s age makes you decide.

“Why are you crying?” you kneel by the young Joker and he wipes his face with the sleeves of his raggedy shirt:

“My mommy died.”

“Did she? I’m sorry… Do you miss her?” you manipulate the conversation since warping his thoughts might lead to your quest: discovering where the money is.

“U-hum,” he nods and asks. “I don’t like it at the orphanage, I want to go home…”

“Perhaps I can help,” you pull him in your arms and he whispers:

“Who are you?”

“Your worst nightmare,” Y/N sadly concludes because it doesn’t bring her joy to distort an already broken mind, nevertheless she‘s here bearing a clear purpose. “It’s ok,” you hold the child and soothe him. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

The little boy whimpers, clinging to the stranger showing him kindness then vanishes in thin air: you got rid of a painful memory and replaced it with a nicer one.

Now The Joker will remember that someone comforted him when in reality it never happened.

Second Door

The young man is standing in front of the burning cottage while the firefighters are struggling to put out the blaze. He’s covered in ashes and his lips are barely moving; you can hardly discern what he keeps on repeating:

“They’re still inside… they’re still inside…”

The 24 years old Joker is numb and all you can conclude he seemed so different back in the day.

“Who’s inside?” you inquire and he glimpses your way without realizes he’s in shock.

“My wife and son. I couldn’t save them… I didn’t make it to the second level, the flames were too strong…”

You bend over and grab the blanket resting at his feet, placing it around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry they’re gone, you did everything you could.”

He glares at the Incubus for a split moment before disappearing: you just lift the burden of a horrifying experience and now The Joker will remember that someone offered consolation when in reality it never happened.

Third Door

The man is sitting on the floor with his back against the padded wall, tightly confined inside his straight jacket. He keeps screaming, then maniacally laughing and sobbing in the same time while straining to escape the garment.

“Calm down,” you slide near him. “You’ll hurt yourself if you continue.”

The 27 years old tries to articulate a couple of coherent sounds before reprising his yelling.

“Stop squirming,” you cup his face and make him pay attention. “Look at me. Relax,” you caress his cheeks. “Deep breaths, ok?” you plead with the madman. “Sssttt, it’s fine…” Y/N stares in his eyes and the shouting gradually dies out. “There you go,” you brush your forehead on J’s prior to him fading away: you switched a terrible incident into better conclusion by mimicking sympathy when in reality it never happened.  

Fourth Door

You’re surprised to notice The Joker talking to shadows: a woman and a little girl judging by their silhouettes; he resembles the most wanted criminal lying 10 inches apart from you in the secured establishment pushing you to accomplish their instructions.

A recent memory? Does it mean he has another family?...

You want to come closer and the sight of the contours disappearing is intriguing; The Clown rubs his temples and you can tell he’s distressed.

“What’s going on?” you dig in his brain for responses.

“They took my Queen and my Princess!” he grinds his teeth with resentment.

“Do you know where they are?”

“Yes,” J grumbles and evaporates saying a baffling phrase: ”I have to find the perfect plan in order to reclaim what’s mine!”

So weird the memory dispersed before you misled the truth in your favor … What the heck is going on?!...

The Cell

No rooms left and you stroll in the murkiness again, angry your scheme didn’t lead towards a better result: oddly enough The King of Gotham failed to unveil extra hints that could have aid you in discovering where the fortune he snatched is.

“Hello sugar,” the raspy intonation halts you in your tracks.

Y/N detects the heavy bars forming this square shaped cell containing what she suspects to be a version of The Joker; it’s difficult to restrain her astonishment since she’s witnessing a rare phenomenon: nothing less than a mind prison.

Jackpot! If he buried something deep inside and locked it even from himself it could mean you reached your destination.

“It’s nice to have visitors,” the eerie apparition chuckles. “It gets lonely.”

“I bet,” you pout. “Why don’t you break free?”

He kicks the bars, enraged he has to explain:

“I’m sure a superior creature such as the lady joining me knows a mind prison can only be opened from the outside!”

He’s self-aware! This is absolutely unbelievable: humans are never conscious within the deepest layers of their psyche.

“You are correct: you can only open it from the outside,” you agree. “What’s your name?”

“Joker. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.”

“Duh, I know,” he snickers and lets his tattooed arms hang loose outside the bars. “You have a kid, right?”

He sees your doubt and his gratification builds up to new highs.

“Yes.”

“What’s her name?”

“How do you know it’s a she?!” you counterattack with a quiz.

Damn, this whole charade is getting more and more fascinating by the second!

“I know soooooo many things,” the entity yawns. “For example I’m sure you wonder how I ended up in here.”

No sign you would deny his rambling thus he enlightens the riddle:

“Some are born with certain “gifts”, some develop them after a traumatic experience. I’m the lucky recipient of the latest, although I was locked in here from day one. If I had someone shatter the seal and by someone I mean you,” he points his finger at the smirking Y/N, “I could help you run from the place you hate. Tell me I’m wrong, but aren’t you trapped also?”

“You’re sneaky, I’ll give you that,” you laugh at his attempts to influence your actions.

“And you’re too powerful not to realize what’s going on! Snap out of it!!!” he hisses. “Are you single sugar?” the anger building up makes Y/N frown.

“None of your business!”

“Humor me, I beg,” he emphasizes the words.

“Yes,” you scoff and his demeanor doesn’t lower your guard.

“Are you 100% certain you’re not married?”

“What’s this nonsense?!” you sneer at the stupid conversation.

“Maybe you don’t remember because you created your own mind prison where you chained crucial data in order to protect the ones you love after you were captured. What’s your daughter’s name?” he sulks and you grumble.

“Mia.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am; do you think I don’t know my child’s name?”

“And you think I don’t recognize my own wife standing in front of me??!!!!” he snaps at your hesitation. “Set me free! Set me free and I’ll show you! I can get inside your mind and unlock your cage: you’ll remember everything!”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?!” you growl at the absurd sentences: like his devious tactic would work on you!

“I’m talking to the Incubus, am I not?”

Your mouth opens in amazement since there is no way in hell he could know that.

“Do I have your attention now?” the beast reprimands. “Good! Here’s what you deliberately forgot: nobody knows that we’re married, it’s better that way; yet a woman with your capabilities is bound to attract unwanted attention anyway. When we got together, we had a deal: you’ll never get inside my head and you consented. No? Doesn’t ring a bell?...” he cracks his joints. “After they took you and Emma from me…”

“Who’s Emma?” you interrupt, more and more convinced there’s something fishy happening inside The Joker’s subconscious.

“Our daughter, her name is not Mia, you just replaced it after you were both kidnapped in order to sever all connections with the past. Can’t blame you: it’s a great strategy given the circumstances: create a mind prison, hide everything connected to protect me and her. Last thing you needed was for them to find out we are actually acquainted in the most intimate way. That would have been a disaster! Do you know why I stole half a billion dollars and let them catch me? I knew that if I do that they’ll use everything possible under the sun to make me spill the beans. When all fails, won’t they flaunt the last ace in their sleeve? That’s how I got here sugar, it was the ultimate goal. I can’t function without my girls so I came to get them!”

“Listen here,” your menacing attitude takes over. “Who do you take me for?! Your fictional tale is starting to piss me off so I advise you to quit before I make your neurons crumble to pieces!”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it,” the feral beast sniffs the air. “You always kept your end of the bargain and never got in here before to poke the past. I respect that, sugar. Now I had no choice besides letting you in.”

“Stop it! Stop your lies!! You’re nothing more than a projection of The Joker’s mind!”

“Ahhhh,” the evil grin flourishes behind the silver teeth. “I am so much more than that. Do you want to get out of this facility? I suggest you set me free and I will prove I’m telling the truth!”

“Bullshit! What can you do anyway?! I can kill everyone and run, but my daughter will die!”

“Not if I help: you can make them stop breathing and I could keep the hearts beating until we get the key that unlocks Emma’s collar! It’s a dual team mission.”

“Her name is Mia! How do you know about the collar?!” the dumbfounded Y/N mumbles.

“Weren’t you listening? I know a lot of things!”

“Even if we assume you aren’t lying, how will you keep their hearts beating?!”

“Set me free and I’ll show you! SET. ME. FREE!!!!!! Or we are fucking doomed! Set me free!” he punches the bars. “Set me free and I’ll open your mind prison! You’ll realize each word I uttered is genuine! You’ll remember all of it! SET! ME! FREE!!! What do you have to lose, huh? Nothing! Do it!! Do it!!!!”

“How could you get inside my mind?! I’m a metahuman!”

“Goddamnit! SET ME FREE AND I’ll SHOW YOU!!!!! Do you want your daughter to perish in this place?! Do you???!!!”

You definitely are beyond skeptical; still… at least he’s correct about this: you have nothing to lose; you approach with caution and part the bars enough for the trapped entity to squeeze outside.

“Thank you honey,” he clumsily bows and before you can react he snatches in his arms and kisses you.

Y/N feels this electrifying sensation taking over, stupefied to understand what it means: she just unleashed another Incubus. And she always thought she was the only one!

You gasp for air and open your eyes, processing all the recovered memories rushing through your brain: your own mind prison was opened as promised.

You tilt your head to look at The Clown and he grabs your hand, panting:

“Are you ready sugar?”

**************

People keep falling to the ground, each step bringing you closer to your freedom. Emma’s face is buried in your neck as you jump over corpses on the way out of the underground laboratory:

“No peeking!” The Joker scolds and her little hands hold you tighter while obeying.

“Ok daddy.”

“Don’t be scared,” you kiss her cheek and continue the rampage towards the exit.

Screams intensify around the three detainees escaping their faith: the adults can’t afford any weakness or grant mercy to the ones that showed them none.

In the end, what is more terrifying than one Incubus that could plunge the world into complete darkness?

The answer is simple: two of them.

 Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Wattpad and AO3 under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[blissfulalchemist]

Hey @faithchel you said you wanted a mother and daughter bonding moment right?

“So that’s it,” I focus on the lines of the table, hearing the last of her words, “That’s all that happened out there in Montana?” Mom nods as I look up, eyes narrowing. I know she hasn’t told me everything, there’s something else that she’s hiding, keeping from me like she’s done my whole life. I shake my head, “No it’s not all mom. What are you not telling me! I deserve to know!”

“Liz, honey, there’s nothing more to say,” her voice is soft and reassuring, just it has been my whole life. Everything she’s ever said in that voice has been a lie, my whole life has been a lie, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I just didn’t want you to have a life harder than it should have been.”

The memories of all the times we moved as a kid hit me like a train and the scar on my lip tingles as I recall how I got it. My life was always hard and it hasn’t gotten any easier, “Life was never easy though!” I shut my eyes tightly, nails digging into the table, “You did it for yourself more than me. You didn’t want to think about it,” when I look at her blinking back the tears that are forming, her gaze is avoiding mine, her fingers tracing some of the tattoos covering what I now know are scars. She’s not giving me details and that’s what I need, “Mom,” I plead reaching out to her, her hand pulling away on instinct, “please. I know you’re lying to me again or at least holding back.” She pushes some hair behind her ears giving a slight shake of her head, “Mom. Please for once why can’t you just tell me the truth, the whole truth for once? I can handle it.”

“You don’t need to know the details. All you need to know is that I was taken in by Eden’s Gate after losing my first husband and was quickly married off to your father. We didn’t love each other at first but eventually we did.” She reaches for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, “I got you and that’s all that matters.” Her smile is sweet, too sweet, like the ones John would wear in those billboards he had all around Hope County.

I push back from the table, chair falling out from under me as I stand, “That’s bullshit and you know it!” I lean on the table nearing her face, calm as ever, her clenching jaw the only indication that I’m scaring her, “If it was so fine then why did you leave! Why did you have to get all the tattoos on your body! Why did you have to leave me to be raised by family twice!” She stays looking at me, eyes level, tears starting to stain my cheeks, “Say something!”

“What do you want me to say? I left because they weren’t well liked. It was becoming too dangerous to stay. There were times I got caught in some of the gunfire, things like that don’t just leave the mind.” It’s so rehearsed, too perfect, “You father sent me away to protect you and me. I was angry with him because he didn’t tell me that’s what he was doing so that’s why I never told you.”

I replay all the words she’s said to me, there’s just enough truth to make it easier for her to say without many tells. She never liked religion and her timeline didn’t match up with the news articles I’ve scavenged through. She had to have been sent home before she knew she was pregnant with me….the arrest. The initial arrest is what I can’t shake. The charges….suspicion of kidnapping with intent to harm. Sure they kidnapped many but they were so devout that it couldn’t have been proven and all from the same area. Mom though….mom was from another state….she had friends and family that started to look for her. The scars, I look them over the most prominent one just under her right collarbone, the letters falling into place, LUST. “They tortured you,” she doesn’t say anything but her eyes betray her, the fear passing through, “They made you say yes. He made you say yes.” I step back shaking my head, “I’m not the product of love. Far from it,” my hands are shaking as I look down to my palms, “You joined them. He manipulated you and I was what came from that.”

She shakes her head walking towards me reaching for me, “No, Liz honey. No. He never tricked me into loving him,” the contact she makes burns my skin, pulling back from her, “That was real. He loved me first.” She tries to move closer, reaching to brush my hair like she always does when I’m upset, “Trust me when I tell you that you aren’t from a product of manipulation.”

I shield away from her, “No,” she pulls back hurt, “No! I can’t trust you! How can I?” I step towards her, “You’ve been lying to me my whole life! You joined them didn’t you? You did what they did!”

Her words stumble as they leave her mouth, “No. I never joined them. I would never side with that psychopath of a brother of his!”

“Then why did John send you away!?”

“He wanted us safe,” she repeats.

It’s infuriating.

“Stop!” I don’t even think as my hands make contact with the dining table, “Stop lying to me!” It flips, thundering in the small house, “Tell me the real reason he sent you away! It was for more than safety! If it was he would have gone with you! And he didn’t! He left you behind! So tell me the truth!” My nostrils flare as I stare down at her face.

She straightens her back, her face calm, “He tried to save me,” her voice is too flippant, “from myself. I did things I shouldn’t have.” There’s no remorse in her words as they start to make sense.

“You came from a monster.” “You,” my voice trembles as I watch her empty eyes, “You hurt people. Killed people,” I back away slowly from her, “Didn’t you?”

“Liz-.”

“Didn’t you!?” She may have been wearing a solemn face but I can’t see past her lack of emotions in her eyes. I put a hand to my mouth shaking my head before I turn bolting for the stairs. I can’t look at her, can’t bear the thought of her being my mother.

“Liz!” She calls out to me following me, “Liz don’t you dare walk away from me, from this!”

“Or what?” I shout, turning to face her, my voice cracking, “You’ll lock me in some bunker!” I shake my head making my way up the stairs, my heart shattering.

“Lizette Eden Rojas! You get back here!”

My foot hesitates halfway up, “Seed,” I whisper.

“What?”

“Lizette Eden Seed,” I stare straight ahead of me, “You came from a monster and it’s no surprise you’ll be one too.”, “You want to live in your little fucking fantasy you can use my real name.” I look over my shoulder, eyes narrowed, “I do have a birth right to uphold, after all.”

My longer legs get me to my room faster than she can catch up, the door slamming as I lock it adding a chair for an extra measure. I fall to the floor head in my hands as I scream and sob. It’s all falling apart and I don’t know what to do. Voices and memories pass through my mind as everything becomes clear. “You’ll end up a monster too. Only a matter of time.” “Mommy says it’s fine to be mean to you.” “You know who her father is right?” ”Careful she might try to convert you.” “My brother said you would lead us and the next generation into New Eden.” “You were born from monsters.” “Stop!” I’m clutching my head trying to stop the noise emanating from it. The voices become faster and louder as I stand looking in the mirror at myself. My blue eyes, his eyes, are staring back at me as a place of nightmares materializes behind the reflection. The girl in the mirror is smiling, cold, unfeeling, her clothes splattered in red as a figure makes their way behind her. “NO!”

The glass shatters and falls to the floor, my right fist bruised and bloodied shakes, breathing ragged. I look below to the small reflections of myself. The girl in them crying and afraid, scattered all over the floor. I can’t find the real me in any of them….if there ever was one to begin with.

[nomnomsik]

To Catch a Dream - (13)

It’s difficult for Yoongi, who’s completely infatuated with you, to quietly remain your college friend. With a slow appearance of unusual tendencies in him, he realizes what he needs to do to attain his dream. However, jealousy and possession are universal in everyone.

Word Count: 3.3K

A/N: Things get worse. Way worse.

Trigger warning: yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, profanity, yelling, slight parental abuse, manipulation. Please do not read if you are sensitive to these topics. 

Your recovery was steady, allowing you to leave the hospital, a place which had given you a strange comfort throughout your week stay. Yoongi continued his visits, bringing gifts and small items he believed were of important significance. From roses to sweet fruit, he took it upon himself to make sure you were properly taken care of as if he wasn’t the reason you were lying there in the first place.

You were given an extra two days before being discharged. Before your discharge, you felt somewhat normal and healthier which nobody would believe. While you expected to pale in color, the only thing that changed was your weight. But that was only from physical changes. It was as if your mind had experienced a roller coaster. Yet the ride had not come to a halt.

"Moving?" You asked as Yoongi held your hand in his, walking out of the hospital. The strap of your bag hung onto his shoulder as you used his weight to walk properly.

"Yes, I've already bought a new place. An apartment."

You gulped, feeling a bit uneasy. He didn't even ask for your opinion?

"Is it pretty?" You forced a smile, stepping out for the first time in the sunlight. Your eyes glistened as you stared up at the bright blue sky, watching as the clouds slowly trudged along. The sweet smell of wind blew strands of hair behind you as tree branches rustled and swayed as if greeting your return back outside.

"Yeah, it is."

He took your hand, helping you into the back of the taxi before joining you.

"You're not sitting in the front?" You asked, watching him close the car door. Yoongi turned around, picking your hand gently and stroking your skin.

"No… I want to be with you right now." His voice was soft and delicate, with hints of shyness that seemed to parallel the Yoongi you used to remember.

The car ride was silent with only gentle touching shared between the two hands. Wind seeped in from the open window blowing Yoongi’s hair. He looked up, out the window, watching the buildings pass by in a blur.

"I know you'd be worried, but don't be." He interjected suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"An investigation is going on, but don't worry about it. Your mother has it under control."

Your body stiffened as you looked down at your interlocked hands. A growing disgust overcame you as you pondered why you were even sitting there with him.

You need Yoongi. You're nothing without him.

Your throat tightened and head thumped. You felt small for following the man who hurt you. You wanted to cry and break down, cursing out to the sky that you hated yourself.

It's your fault. You hurt him first.

Did you love him or did you have to love him? The scarred image of your mother's eyes piercing into you made your skin crawl. You were sure you loved him before, but now, was it too late? You already invested more than a year. Wouldn't it be difficult to start over again, taking tedious steps to build a relationship that you already developed with Yoongi?

You understood him and he understood you. You two were similar, just lonely souls who transferred their loneliness onto each other rather than clearing it. Yoongi was independent, he could take care of him, not needing to burden you with his troubles and you were the same.

Despite all the things that made you cry, you never burdened him with your troubles. Karma always came to your side at the end as you remember chuckling darkly at the alcohol poisoning incident.

"We're here," Yoongi called, swiping his card before thanking the driver.

But you weren't there mentally. You still haven't made up your mind, haven't decided how you should feel. Do you love-

Yoongi tugged you again, breaking you out from your thoughts. You followed him, wobbling as you put your weight on him, Yoongi supporting you up like all the other times you relied on him.

The two of you slowly walked into the apartment complex and ascended the elevator. When you stepped out onto the eighth floor, the first thing you saw was a long balcony with the city underneath. Unlike your other home, where everything was inside the building, this new one had the door to each room outside with a railing you could look out from.

The city looked beautiful from where you stood and you stopped to take in the unique architecture and textures of the floors and walls. Trees rustled with a few branches poking out into the view of your floor, greeting you.

Yoongi watched your expression, peacefully enjoying how your hair blew back and your face softened. He let go of your hand, pulling out his silver keys and unlocking the door. He quickly reached from your hand again, pulling you in.

"Welcome. Do you like it?"

"I do…" you breathed, taking in the cleanliness and polished furniture. You took a seat on one of the white couches, running your fingers over the soft material.

A clock read 10:23 am, a painting greeted you, and a flower pot sang out to you. Yoongi took a seat beside you, touching the soft skin of your cheek before tilting your head to meet eyes. He leaned in, softly connecting lips as his hands came up to the back of your head. Nothing had changed. He still tasted like vanilla and he still kissed you as if you were going to break. His loose strands of black hair still tickled your skin and his eyes always remained closed. The two of you still moved together, like you were one, desperate for each other, afraid of each other. As Yoongi parted from your lips, his forehead met yours, his eyes intensely looking into your soul.

"I missed kissing you."

You gave a small nod, your hands folded on your lap. Why were you no longer feeling the tingles that were usually there? Before Yoongi could go in for another kiss, his phone vibrated loudly in his pocket. His clicked his tongue, annoying digging through his pocket to pick it up. His eyes widened at the caller ID, clearing his throat before putting it up to his ear.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Yoongi! Are you home yet with y/n, yet?"

"Yes, we are."

"Can you put her on the line for me?"

"Of course."

He handed you the phone and you put it to your ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi, darling~”

“Oh, hi mom.”

“I know you got out of the hospital, but I really need you here. So I need you to help me with an upcoming event we have planned at the town hall."

"Today?"

"Yes today, I'm sorry for the short notice, but I realized it would be better to have you there. Also! You don't have to bring anything. We have anything you can wear."

"Mom, it seems like I don’t have a choice." You joked. "Alright, I'll go."

"Thank you darling~ Mommy loves you!"

"Love you too."

Your arm fell as the call clicked out. You handed the phone over to Yoongi, but he rejected it.

"That one is yours."

"Wait really?"

"Yeah, I upgraded our phones. Though I couldn't get the memory from the older phone to transfer over." Yoongi muttered, placing his own phone onto the coffee table. He looked back at you, his expression turning serious.

"Y/n…Don't ever change your number. Alright?"

His voice was different, completely laced with urgency, almost like a threat.

"If anything were to happen-" he paused. "Just never change it. Do you promise me?"

"I promise." You obediently responded. Getting him riled up at ten in the morning did not seem like something you wanted to do.

"Good girl." He complimented. You stood up, walking over to the front door, preparing to leave as soon as possible. As you reached for the hanger, you stopped, not seeing your bag.

“Yoongi?” You called.

“Yeah?”

“Have you seen my bag?” You walked in the living room, your eyes meeting his before catching the bag on top of his lap. “What the-”

“Yeah, I guess I might have seen your bag.” He smirked. You walked over, extending your hand out.

“Can you give it back to me?”

“No.”

“Yoongi.” Your voice stern as your eyes slanted. He held onto the bag with both arms, wrapping it into his embrace.

“No.”

“Why are you being like this all of a sudden?” You asked, crossing your arms in irritation. He looked down, refusing to meet your eyes as he muttered something under his breath. “What’d you say?”

You squatted down, trying to look up at his lowered face.

“But if I give you your bag back then… then you’ll leave me and go…I’ll miss you…”

“Oh, Yoongi…” You sighed. “I’ll stay in touch alright?”

“Alright…” He muttered. “I have work anyways.” He handed over the bag, pouting and sulking on the couch. You opened and closed the door with Yoongi listening as it slowly closed shut. He smiled to himself, laying down on the couch and staring up at the ceiling.

What fun will I have today?

---------------------

“Mom~” You wrapped your mom in your arms, your body rocking back and forth as she held you in your arms.

“I’m so sorry for the short notice, darling…” Her voice muffled in your shoulder before letting you go. “We have lots to do, no second for delay. C’mon let’s go.”

You were helped in a sapphire blue dress, your hair was done and needless to say, you looked presentable enough. By now, you rarely cared about how you looked. You didn’t need to look like a beautiful gem when a particular someone already believed you were one.

“Now, listen y/n. Your job tonight is to talk as many people and make them feel welcomed. At some point, stay with a group and chat with them for the rest of the night.”

“But why?”

“It’s important for people to retain a good image of you. So what better way to do it with an event I’m in charge of?” Your mom smiled turning around to give orders to the staffers. “Okay, darling?”

“It doesn’t seem too difficult, I guess.” You shrugged.

“Great.”

But after a few hours of talking to almost everyone at the event, you stood at one of the cocktail tables, swirling the alcoholic beverage in its glass container by yourself, 9 pm at night. You sighed, finding these grand events completely boring. With a huff, you abandoned your table, walking through the hall to find another person to converse with. As you walked over to the bar, you spotted a familiar face entering the doors. Your eyes met from across the room and the male gave you a smile.

“Jimin!” You smiled, walking over to him and catching sight of the male that always seemed to be with him.

“Y/n,” He breathed out, smiling himself. “How have you been feeling?”

“Oh, I feel a lot better. I heard that you helped me. Thanks for that.”

“Of course, of course.” He gave a small bow, before ushering the male beside him. “I’m not sure if I formally introduced you, but this is Jungkook. Jungkook, this is y/n.”

“Hello.” His voice was small and calming, definitely emitting a reserved personality. He stood a bit taller than Jimin, his brown strands of hair almost covering his eyes.

“Hello, Jungkook.”

The three of you walked over to a cocktail table, pouring each other glasses of champagne. The bubbly liquid filled the top of each glass before you all cheered together. Jimin downed the drink immediately, before releasing a satisfying grunt.

“Damn, that’s some good stuff.” He smiled, pouring himself another glass. Jungkook slowly downed the drink, finishing the entire glass but in a more polite manner. He wiped his mouth with a napkin before shyly asking the older male for another glass. You barely took two sips, hating the way alcohol tasted. But over time, the glass slowly dwindled down until you finally finished the single glass.

The three of you were giggly idiots, not enough to disrupt the event, but then again, not being the most reserved guests. Without a doubt, you could feel the alcohol coursing through your veins making you much more bubbly and flirtatious. Jimin was wrecked, constantly laughing and barely able to form a coherent sentence without slurring. The younger looked at him concerned before shrugging it off as if he was used to it.

“So, y/n,” Jimin hiccuped, placing his fourth glass down on the table. “How’s your arranged marriage going, hmm? Did the loser finally propose to you?” He laughed, holding himself up from the table.

“Arranged? What are you talking about, Jimin? Stop talking, you’re so drunk.” You giggled, your face a flush of red.

“I’m not!” He protested even though he clumsily hunched over the table. “Everyone knows the arrangement of the two of your families. Did he never tell you?” His voice was much more serious, making you uncertain whether you should believe him or not.

“There’s no way it could be arranged.” You denied, forcing out a laugh. “Yoongi loves me. There’s no way.” You repeated again.

Jungkook spoke up this time, his eyebrows knit together.

“It is arranged.” He spoke clearly, unaffected by the alcohol the three of you had ingested.

“Okay, but how could you know when I don’t even know?” You countered.

“They probably didn’t want to tell you to make it seem ‘real.’” Jungkook argued, softly placing his glass onto the table. “It’s okay to be in denial. I’m pretty sure it’s arranged.”

“You guys can’t be serious.” You muttered, feeling a growing embarrassment come over your body. “Yoongi… He wouldn’t do that...” You spoke in a hushed whisper.

“Hyung, she’s in denial now. I knew you shouldn’t have brought the topic up.” Jungkook complained, sighing and shaking his head in frustration.

“Not my fucking fault. The dude’s an asshole, I swear- He’s so sensitive to everything. I bet he’d blame it on y/n knowing how often he gets jealous.”

“Hyung, you should shut it. Saying stuff like that even though you know nothing about their relationship is kind of-”

“No Jungkook, I know their parents. Why do you think her mother married that loser? The same thing happened herself. She probably just wanted y/n to go through the same thing because she had to do the same thing when she was younger. She’s just doing it out of spite I bet. As for Yoongi, the dude couldn’t care less.”

“You both are wrong!” You interjected, blushing at their conversation.

“I doubt it,” Jimin whispered, turning the other direction, the alcohol slowly wearing out of his body. This sort of conversation was suffocating. Nothing could change his mind. Yoongi was scum and that was final.

“I don’t want to hear this from someone who kissed me!” You accused, pouring a glass of champagne out of irritation.

“What?” Jungkook spoke up, turning his direction to his lover.

“I’ll explain later,” Jimin shrugged nonchalantly.

“You kissed another girl? Seriously?” He ticked in irritation, crossing his arms. “Ugh, Hyung, you have to stop doing that. How do you think I feel?”

“Listen, I said I’ll explain later.”

A new voice inserted itself into the conversation, causing the trio to jump.

“How about you explain right now, I’d be interested to hear.”

You quickly turned around in shock, meeting Yoongi’s eyes as he stared down at you before looking at the two males. He was dressed in a glossy black suit, his hair straightened and flat. Jewelry decorated his wrists as he gave a devious smirk at everyone at the table.

“Oh, did I interrupt something important?” He sneered, pulling you into his arms, your back hitting his chest. “I just thought it’d be nice to hear the reason why you kissed my girlfriend, Park. You even promised me you wouldn’t make any moves on her, but you’re nothing but a filthy liar.”

“Oh, get over yourself, Yoongi.” Jimin spat. “You’re so insanely jealous of everything it’s disgusting to see.”

Yoongi laughed. “Isn’t that an excuse for you to kiss any girl you can get your hands on?”

Jimin's hand twitched, clenching into a fist as he clamped his jaw shut.

“Let’s go, Jungkook.” Jungkook nodded, following the older to another section of the hall. Yoongi sighed, pulling you into his chest as he embraced you.

“I’m not happy with you.”

You opened your mouth in an effort to say something, but Yoongi hushed you.

“I already told your mother I’m taking you home. Now, let's get going.”

The two of you walked out of the hall, Yoongi holding your hand as you descended down the steps. You sat into the passenger seat, Yoongi firing up the engine to his Audi before zooming off. 

The car ride was dead silent, not even the sound of the radio echoed in it. You watched the illuminating lights in the night sky, from the buildings to the cars, you couldn’t care less at this point. You almost died, how much worse could your life actually get?

The elevator ride was silent with the electronic sounds filling the container. The constant jingle of Yoongi's keys paired with the soft clicks of your heels seemed to be the only noise of the night. 

Even as you walked in, the two of you shared no words. Even when you slipped out from the bathroom, having showered, a towel on your head, he said nothing. Even when you two were in the same space of your bedroom, everything was dead silent.

Yoongi spaced out in the room, looking out at the new view out the window. As you threaded your arms through the last piece of nighttime wear, Yoongi spoke up.

“Why do you always betray me?”

“Huh?”

“I give you everything you could want. I take care of you. And yet, you always play with my feelings.” Yoongi ignored your flustered reply and continued, his eyes fully set at the row of cars passing by.

“Yoongi… Are we really going to talk about this right now?”

“Do you like it when you fool around with other men? Do you enjoy it when I hurt?”

“Yoongi, you have to stop saying things like that. Don’t you think you’re being too manipulative?”

"Manipulative? I don't have the right to feel the way I do?" He countered.

“If that's the case, what about me? I don’t even fucking know why I’m here!” You shouted, throwing your hands up in the air. “Isn’t it ridiculous? I still want to marry you, that’s how fucked up my mind is. And it’s because of you!”

You cut him off before he could speak, adamant on finishing your statement.

“I just wanted to try and fall in love. That’s it. That’s all I wanted! I never asked for this!" You shouted, raising your voice in anger. "Never in my life would I have thought my own partner, my lover, the person who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life, was going to somehow be the reason I got hooked on life support!”

"Y/n, you cheated on me when you kissed Jimin!" Yoongi retorted, slowly getting riled up himself. "I have every reason to not trust you!"

"Oh, shut up." You spat. "Enough with your manipulating bullshit. You don't love me, just shut up. Stop trying to keep me here for my family's money. It's tasteless behavior."

Yoongi rose from his spot on the bed.

"Excuse me?! I do love you! You think I'm in it for the money?! How could you even say that?!"

You laughed at his remark.

"Of course you love me." You cried out sarcastically. "After all, who wouldn't send their partner to the ER?"

"Y/n, stop acting like this. Now." Yoongi warned.

"Or what? Are you going to hook me on life support again?" You took a brief pause before continuing your outburst.

"You know what. You know what, Yoongi? We’re done. This. All of this. I don’t care anymore if my family disowns me. We’re done. We're through.”

Chapter 14

[teaismyqueen]

Writers Prompt Challenge

I feel as though I’m playing with the big players.... I’m late posting because I apparently cannot use a computer... Also have been out all day! Enjoy my contribution to this fun adventure

It was finally silent in the messy apartment. The only clues to the struggles that had previously played out within these walls were displayed in the most spectacular of ways. Clothes hung over the back of the sofa, discarded without thought to where they would land. Dishes were still untouched on the kitchen side, the long forgotten food cemented onto the crockery. The kitchen bin, overflowing, little white parcels haphazardly stuck in and around the bin.

A soft thump led to a clatter as Henry stumbled out of the bedroom, knocking into the hall table sending some of the contents flying to the floor by tripping over his own feet. They felt cumbersome like two heavy weights that didn't belong on his tired legs. Head spinning he made it and fell to the couch, letting the soft fabric hold his tired body. Feeling slightly uncomfortable he reached under himself and pulled out a soft toy elephant. This irritated Henry and he promptly threw it across the room, the elephant landing on top of the changing mat that was set up on the dining table.

It was day 6 of little Stephanie's young life and Henry's eyes stung like he never had known in the past. He was dog tired but so in love. It was as though he had never really been alive until Elizabeth safely delivered their daughter into this world 6 days ago. 6 long days and nights, where time seemed to have stopped but simultaneously sped up.

Every surface in their small apartment was slowly being taken over by various items. New baby cards, flowers, coffee mugs, water bottles, diapers…. It seemed to be never ending and it felt claustrophobic. However, Henry allowed himself a little rest, he had been up all night attempting to burp their baby after Elizabeth fed her, he let his eyes and mind shut down for a moment and he slipped into sleep easily.

Exactly 18 minutes later Stephanie McCord woke from her slumber and announced herself with the shrillest cry she had ever managed. Everyday as her stomach and appetite grew so did her lungs. Henry had found that this little bundle that he could easily swaddle and hold so close could also make such a noise and it seemed to get louder and louder as every new day came. Knowing how exhausted Elizabeth was he shot up and ran towards little Stephanie in her little crib and gathered her up into his arms.

"Henry?" of course Elizabeth woke with the cry of her newborn. "She can't need feeding again I just fed her" her voice partly muffled by the pillow.

"It's OK babe, I'll take her"

"Come get me if you need me" a huge yawn took a hold of Elizabeth and Henry could hardly understand what she said but he understood the premise.

Taking the balling little baby out of their room and into the lounge he sighed when he took in the mess once again. Concentrating on Stephanie he tried to move her in his arms to a more comfortable position, hopeful it would calm her enough. It was still alien to him how to handle his daughter, Henry still felt like he could break her so easily and although he was becoming more confident every day, right in this moment his heart was beating hard and fast in his chest as he manipulated her tiny body onto his chest.

Thinking through all the steps to a happy baby he tried to formulate a plan of action. If he was looking in from the outside he would have smiled as he found himself harnessing the same level of concentration he used when he was piloting his hornet. His tired mind went through the steps to a happy baby... clean diaper, fed, winded. As she had just been fed he could tick that off his mental list and hastily journeyed to the changing table dodging the various obstacles that littered the floor.

Once she was in a clean diaper and a fresh romper he gathered her up once again in his arms and began to burp her. As he paced the apartment patting his newborn daughter on her back he attempted to sing a soothing lullaby to her. But he found himself unsure of the words and the melodies that accompanied them, so he chose to sing about their surroundings and their shared love, Elizabeth.

Your mommy loves you very much

We love mommy just as…. Much

Henry rolled his eyes at his lack of creativity but Stephanie seemed to respond to his voice and her crying quietened. So he continued

She loves to cuddle you

Except when you've done a… poo.

Henry laughed at his rhyme and at the absurdity of the situation, the fact this tiny baby had created such a whirlwind and left a trail of chaos in her wake. Laughter soon took a hold of him, his body shook with each chuckle and the movement of his body managed to aid Stephanie enough to release a stubborn bit of wind. A small burp sounded which, in turn stopped her crying and his laughter. Henry pressed his lips to the top of her soft wispy hair and gave her a gentle kiss inhaling her own unique baby smell.

"I've got this and I've got you Stephanie, we make a good team. Daddy's rhymes must work, hey?" As he spoke softly to her he spied the baby carrier slung over the back of the chair and formulated a plan. Filled with confidence with his parenting ability he suddenly thought about putting Stevie in the carrier and tidying at the same time. How pleased Elizabeth would be when she woke up to find a quiet baby and a clean apartment. He moved cautiously to the bassinet that was in the corner of the room and laid a quiet Stephanie down slowly. However, as soon as he withdrew his warm hands from her body he saw her eyes flicker open and then shut before she started whimpering again at the loss of contact.

"Sssssshhhhhh baby girl. Daddy will get you in one minute. Shhh, It's okay" He lamented over and over hopeful that she wouldn't get too upset as he attempted to get the carrier on over his shoulders. "Baby girl, I love you so much. I won't be long, daddy is just trying to get this on." As his words of love floated around the room to soothe the baby, Henry was getting more and more frustrated with the carrier. He found the endless straps and buckles confusing, Stephanie's cries were beginning to get louder and louder. As he located the right strap for his other arm and slipped it up, Stephanie's crying had reached fever pitch again.

"Hey baby girl I'm nearly ready for you. It's okay" at this point he wasn't sure who he was reassuring, the crying was cutting through him and the stress of getting the carrier on was getting too much. "I'm sorry Daddy is taking so long but this carrier is always so fucking tight for me. Oh, god, I shouldn't have sworn. Daddy's sorry." Henry was leaning over the bassinet now and reached in for Stephanie. Automatically kissing her forehead again, he cradled her to his chest and whispered "Don't tell Mommy I swore in front of you ok?"

Finally getting her settled into the carrier and doing the last strap up, Henry felt as though he achieved something. Her cries had now turned into soft whimpers as the baby snuggled into her daddy, his warmth comforting her and the loud thrum of his heart against her reminded her of her mommy. She settled in and swiftly let sleep claim her once again.

Henry walked around the apartment as Stephanie fell asleep against him, his hands constantly brushing the carrier, always touching his first born. Once she was snoring softly he stopped moving and sat down in the armchair. It was a little awkward because the carrier was still so tight but Henry was glad he could rest. Looking over at the clock, he noticed that only 30 minutes had passed, yet it felt as though it had been at least a few hours. The amount of emotions that his body had felt in that 30 minutes didn't compare to a week pre Stephanie but he wouldn't change it for the world. The mess can stay he thought, Henry wanted to stay wrapped up with his baby sleeping soundly on him and that wasn't a bad place to be at all.

[neverwither-a-blog]

I had a series of thoughts last night, and I thought I would write out a drabble of a series of confrontations post Kamski Test ( completely out of order and not entirely linked to the same verses )

tagging @flawsinourcxde, @pleaforfreedom, @ykcoded, @deviatedteenager, @yk700-liam (bc all your characters are in this)

Meeting again with Connor after his first visit had been a surprise, but a pleasant one. There was no longer the pressure to appear a machine anymore. The revolution had ended. Androids were free and deviant, and the once deviant hunter was among them now.

Chloe met him outside when he told her he wasn’t there to see Kamski. He requested to talk to her, so she stepped out and closed the door behind her. Bare feet stood on the cold porch, but it would be a while before the cold would really reach her or have any effect.

“What is it, Connor? You seem... troubled.” She commented, looking up at his odd expression. It seemed a mix between sadness and confusion.

“Androids are free now.” He told her.

Chloe nodded, smiling. “It’s wonderful. Our kind won’t have to live as slaves anymore. It might be a while before we get our full rights-”

“Why are you still here?”

The question caught her off guard, her smile dropping as eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

“Androids are no longer required to stay with their owners. Markus has set up a place for all of us. It’s a few apartment buildings on the other side of Detroit, the New Jericho.” Connor told her. There was a moment of silence between them. Then he continued. “You don’t have to stay here.”

“It’s wonderful that Markus has accomplished so much for our kind, but I don’t want to go anywhere, Connor. I’m happy here.” Chloe assured him, giving him a small smile.

Now it was Connor’s turn again to look confused. “Why? You can’t be safe here with Kamski.”

“But I am.” Chloe folded her arms, frowning now at the taller android.

“Chloe, he put a gun in my hand and pointed it at your forehead and told me to shoot you. That’s not safe.”

“But I’m alright.”

“Only because I didn’t listen to him.”

Chloe shook her head. Connor didn’t understand. He didn’t know the bond that was forged between her and Elijah. A bond that went back years, years before he was created, years before he was even a concept. Elijah cared about her. She knew that. He wouldn’t let her get hurt. She knew that. Connor didn’t understand. Would he if she tried to explain it to him? Perhaps not.

“It was nice to see you again, Connor. Please, give Hank my regards. Perhaps I’ll stop by New Jericho to congratulate Markus.” Her voice returned to the polite tone she always used with visitors, specifically visitors that were being rejected from an audience with Kamski. It made it clear that their conversation was over.

“Chloe...”

She was already turning and opening the door. She glanced back at him and smiled politely.

“Take care, Connor.” And she slipped back into the house, closing the door behind her.

It was just a few minutes after the two police officers had left the house. Elijah gave Chloe a few words of comfort, an assurance that she was safe, enough to ease her stress and fear of having a gun to her head.

He was just leaving the room when Chloe felt a mental link open and heard a soft voice in her head.

“How could you let him do that to you?” 

Chloe blinked and looked over at the pool. Both her sisters were staring at her, eyes full of concern and anger. Chloe just smiled and shook her head.

“No harm was done. We’re all okay.” She responded.

The two looked at each other, silent for a moment. Then they both got out of the pool and approached Chloe. 

Both ST200 units were her spitting image. The same soft face, the same blonde hair, and the same blue eyes. They were only a bit taller than herself. Most would refer to them as “Chloes”, simply because Chloe had been the first and they looked like her. But they had actual names. They weren’t Chloes, they were their own androids.

“Chloe, you almost weren’t okay.” Cleo said, taking Chloe’s hand in her own. A comforting gesture, gently and kind. But it only confused Chloe.

“Elijah should never have put you up as collateral like that. How could you be okay with that? He almost got you killed!” Clara spoke up, a frown present on her face. Now Chloe was frowning as well. 

“What are you two talking about? Elijah would never put me, or any of us in danger. Are you even listening to yourselves?” Chloe could almost laugh.

“Chloe, we can’t stay here. If he’s willing to put your life in the hands of a deviant hunter, we’re not safe here.” Cleo said, her grip tightening on Chloe’s hand. The RT600 pulled her hand away. 

“Elijah is the only safe place there is. He’ll keep us safe.” Chloe insisted, closing the connection and following in the direction Elijah had gone in. 

Chloe knew that the two hadn’t been around here as long as she had, but she couldn’t understand how they could turn so quickly against Elijah. Elijah loved them. Elijah loved her.

Corwin had Connor’s memories. Everything that had happened before Connor had infiltrated the Cyberlife tower. Months had passed since the end of the revolution. Corwin never mentioned anything from Connor’s memories.

Which was why Chloe was surprised when he brought it up one day while they sat on the couch. They sat particularly close, legs almost touching, his arm around the back of the couch, almost around her, Chloe leaning slightly, almost against him. It was a quiet moment. A nice break from their usual bickering and teasing. 

Chloe didn’t even notice the yellow light on his temple, didn’t notice he was searching his thoughts and memories, searching Connor’s memories.

“He doesn’t love you.”

It was sudden and unprompted. Chloe turned to look at him, eyebrows raised at his sudden comment.

“I’m sorry?”

“Kamski.” Corwin looked over as well. They were still so close, faces only inches apart. “He doesn’t love you.”

“How could you possibly know what Elijah feels?” Chloe rolled her eyes, already drawing away from him.

“How do you know?” He shot back at her.

“Because he tells me. Because he shows it, with actions and words.”

“He put a gun to your head, Chloe. That’s not love. That’s manipulation.” 

She moved further away from him, arms folded across her chest as she put space between them. “Oh please. As if you know anything about love.”

He remained quiet for a moment. Chloe noted the swirling yellow of his LED. She was sure he wouldn’t respond, that he would drop the subject.

“Love is keeping that person safe. Making sure they’re okay. Keeping that person away from danger. Love is not putting a gun in someone else’s hands and putting your life in danger.” His voice started soft, but steadily grew firmer.

Chloe was surprised yet again. She opened her mouth and then closed it again. She took a moment before replying, “I wasn’t in danger.”

That brought out an exasperated groan from Corwin. “Holy shit, Chloe. Yes you were! You put your trust in a man who put your life in someone else’s hands. Connor almost shot you. I know he did. I know how he was thinking, and I know he almost pulled that trigger on you. And then you looked up at him with those big blue eyes of yours and suddenly he grew a conscience!”

Chloe stood up, eyes glaring down at the RK unit. “Stop it. Elijah wouldn’t... He wouldn’t let me get hurt.”

“Chloe-”

“Don’t, Corwin. You don’t know him. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know about love.”

She looked away from him. She didn’t see the softening expression on his face, didn’t notice the way his eyes looked at her. “I think I do, actually.”

“Mom?”

Chloe looked up from where she stood, staring at the spot she’d knelt not long ago. She tried not to remember the situation, the gun to her head, Elijah’s voice basically condemning her to death. The voice brought her out of those thoughts. She looked over to see her children.

Carlin held Penny in his arms, Liam and Claire stood on either side of him. They all looked varying degrees of angry and sad. Penny was crying.

Instantly, Chloe moved over to them. She lifted Penny from Carlin’s arms and held her close. The little girl’s arms wrapped tightly around her neck. Her crying grew but became muffled as she buried her face in Chloe’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to lose you, Mommy!” Penny sobbed. 

It broke Chloe’s heart, and she tightened her grip on the child. She looked up at Carlin as he got closer as well.

“We can’t stay here, Mom. You’re not safe. Kamski is unpredictable. We’re not safe here.” He said.

That resonated with Chloe. What would have happened if she’d been hurt? If she’d been killed? What would have happened to her kids? Would Elijah have kept them around? Or would they have been sent away if she was no longer around? Would Elijah have even brought her back if his test hadn’t gone how he planned?

She didn’t want to risk any of them getting hurt. They had already been hurt before. And almost facing her death, that had hurt them too. Her LED circled yellow, then red. It stayed red for a few moments.

Liam stepped forward, placing his hand on her arm. Her eyes went to him, then to Claire’s angry expression, then to Carlin’s sad eyes, and finally down at Penny’s sobbing form in her arms. Her decision was immediate.

“We’re leaving.” She said softly, quiet in case anyone was in the other room. “Pack what you need and what you can carry. We leave tonight.”

[iamvegorott]

A Small Glitch Chapter 8

In Session

Dark sat at the edge of his bed, gently running his hand through Anti’s hair. Anti was still curled up in the blankets, staring at the clock sitting on the bedside table.

“I’d be making breakfast for her right now,” Anti said softly.

“I know,” Dark said, rubbing his thumb against Anti’s temple.

“I was gonna make pancakes...I was gonna put some apple slices on Ann’s.” Anti sniffed. “She loves apples.” He added, body shaking a little as he began to cry again. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“None of this is your fault.” Dark slid his hand down so he was now rubbing Anti’s shoulder.

“I’m the one who wanted Ann. I’m the one who convinced you to let her into our home. It’s my fault that she’s going back to live the same woman who fucking tied her to a door and left her there!” Anti sat up, tears streaming down his face. “How the fuck are they letting her go back to that woman!?”

“I’m working on it. I’m taking the legal route first to see if this can be done swiftly with the law on our side.”

“Fuck the law,” Anti growled. “The law is what took her away.”

“That’s why we have the egos.” Dark chuckled, nodding his head when there was a knock.

“We ‘found’ their names,” Wilford said with a smirk as he handed Dark a folder.

“Wait, ’we’?” Anti threw the blanket off of himself and got out of bed, not bothering to put a shirt on, or pants.

“She was malnourished when she was brought into their home.” Dr. Iplier stated while Bim was writing everything down into a notebook.

“She looked as if to not have slept in days as well.” Dr. Schneeplestein added.

“What…” Anti’s eyes were wide with shock. Their dining table had been moved into the living room, papers were scattered all over it and all of the egos were gathered around it.

“Waffle?” Chase offered, holding out a prepared plate towards Anti. Anti took the plate in stunned silence, looking over his shoulder when he felt a hand on it.

“I’m getting her back,” Dark said. “I know how badly you just want to attack the woman who caused this. But I plan on taking Annalise away from her like she did to us. I want her to suffer like we did and she’s going to pay.”

“That’s so fucking hot,” Anti said under his breath as Dark went to join the egos.

“I’m assuming you're going to represent yourself?” Google asked, a screen projecting on the table they sat at.

“No lawyer can do what I can,” Dark stated, straightening his tie and going to the head of the table.

“You gonna put pants on, bro?” Bing asked Anti. The virus tilted his head and looked down at himself.

“What-oh!” Anti quickly went back into the bedroom.

“Jolene Barbetti...how fitting,” Dark growled after opening the file. “Tell me everything.”

“She is twenty-one years old,” Google stated. “She gave birth to Annalise right after turning eighteen. She chose to keep the child against her parent’s wishes since her, at the time boyfriend, Alexander Richards, wanted to keep her.”

“Alexander is twenty-three. He’s a construction worker.” Bing leaned over Google’s shoulder to read what was on the screen. “He moved on to marry a woman named Kathy Harrington shortly after Annalise was born.”

“Alexander has said on record that Jolene is ‘a manipulative person who believes that she has never done wrong’.” Chase read from a piece of holographic paper.

“She’s about to meet the best manipulator ever.” Marvin chuckled and held up a wand. “And witness the greatest vanishing act ever.”

“Fill me in, what the hell is happening?” Anti asked when he came back into the room, sitting in the empty chair next to Dark and placing the plate of waffles in front of him.

“Viana called this morning and said there’s still a chance for us to get Annalise back,” Dark said, sliding the folder towards Anti so he could read while he ate. “Since Jolene technically abandoned her child, we can fight for custody since we were signed under temporary guardianship.”

“Temporary?” Anti said through a mouthful of waffle.

“We need to wait six months before the final form was filled and stating that Jolene fully gave up ownership of Annalise,” Dark explained.

“Adoptions are very complicated,” Google stated.

“They are only complicated when a bitch gets in the way.” Chase huffed.

“I still say we go in there and give her a few shots to the gut. That oughta tell her.” Wilford chuckled, pulling out his favorite revolver.

“We are not resorting to violence...yet.” Dark winked at Anti when he said the last word. “Our court date is in a week, we have a lot of work to do.”

                                                          x~x~x

Anti had a violent urge to vomit as everyone sat back down when the judge said they could. It took everything in his being to not lunge himself at Jolene and tear her apart with his bare hands. It also was almost impossible to not hug Annalise, who he knew was sitting in a room right next to them. Anti just wanted to get his little girl and leave. He just wanted to go home with his family.

“My client made a mistake. She’s human, it happens to the best of us.” Jolene’s lawyer stated. “She has atoned her actions and is more than fitting to care for her child.” The lawyer looked at Anti and Dark as he sat down.

“Jolene Barbetti is nowhere near fit to take care of our child.” Dark shot the lawyer the same look. “When Annalise was abandoned at our home. She was tied to our screen door with a rope. Annalise wasn’t simply let there, she was tied up as if she was a dog that was no longer wanted. Annalise is no dog. She is a smart and beautiful little girl that deserves to be happy and healthy.” Dark sat back down, holding his head up and knowing that he won that part by the look of sympathy on the judge’s face.

“Jolene Barbetti, you may take the stand.”

“Yes, sir.” Jolene bowed a little before walking, sitting down and forcing a perfect posture.

“You may present the evidence.” The judge stated as he began pulling out papers.

“As you can see, we have medical records stating that Annalise was twenty pounds underweight when she came into our care. She is now of healthy weight because of what me and my partner have done.” Dark stood with his hands behind his back.

“Care to explain, Mrs. Barbetti?” The judge asked.

“This economy is terrible. I’ve been working myself to the bone to barely make enough to have a roof over our head.” Jolene said, her tone beating out false sorrow.

“All I hear are excuses, your honor,” Dark said. “I would like to ask how Jolene’s medical records state that she is over the average weight of a woman her age and size while her daughter was in danger of starvation.”

“Are you calling me fat?” Jolene gasped, putting a hand on her chest.

“You clearly are not fat and I made no such statement. I am only going by the numbers.” Dark didn’t even flinch while Jolene looked at her lawyer and she sniffed loudly when he nodded his head.

“Your numbers don’t tell the story of everything I’ve been through!” Jolene shouted. “Your numbers don’t tell the story of the nights I went to bed sobbing because my baby was hungry and there was nothing I could do for her. Your numbers-”

“What’s Ann’s favorite color!?” Anti screamed, slamming his hands on the desk as he stood.

“Uh…blue…” Jolene answered, her voice clearly saying that she was lying.

“Orange. She loves orange. Orange makes her think of happiness.” Anti said. “What’s her favorite animal?” Jolene didn’t even open her mouth.

“Your honor, Mr. Frost is not-”

“Cats! It’s cats! And my name is Mr. Powell.” Anti glared harshly at the lawyer. “My wedding was last week when your ‘client’ decided that she so needed a child that she knows nothing about!”

“You honor!”

“I’ll allow it.” The judge stated, unseen to everyone that there was a red fog covering his head. Dark was now sitting in his chair, eyes blacked-out and staring straight ahead.  

“What’s her favorite holiday? Halloween. Who’s her favorite character on Sesame Street? The Cookie Monster. She loves butterflies and ladybugs and bubbles and you have no right to take my daughter away from me!” Anti was crying at this point, tears falling on to the wooden surface of the desk.

“I...what the fuck!?” Jolene screeched. “His eyes are black! They’re black!” She pointed at Dark as she well. Dark blinked and his eyes were back to how they were before.

“My eyes are simply a very dark brown,” Dark stated, his hands shaking a little under the table as he struggled to keep together after using so much energy.

“My head.” The judge groaned. He started to rub at his temple. “We’ll finish this session tomorrow.”

“Your honor, if I may interrupt. I think we can clearly see that Annalise-”

“You’re a monster! You’re a demon or something from hell!” Jolene went back to her yelling. “He’s possessed! How can a creature take care of a child!?”

“I could ask the same of you,” Dark growled, the room going silent for only a moment.

“I knew there was something wrong with you! The moment I was told that my daughter was taken in my two men, I knew something was wrong!” Jolene stood as she shouted.

“Mrs. Barbetti, that’s enough!” The judge snapped. “Them being in a relationship has nothing to do with this case! I suggest you get your client out of here now before she says anything else that would change my favor.” He added to Jolene’s lawyer.

“Yes, your honor. Let’s-”

“Daddy! I want Daddy!” Annalise’s cries could be heard through the door. “I hate mommy! I hate! I hate!”

“I’ll be seeing everyone tomorrow.” The judge banged his gavel before leaving his stand.

“You’re not going to get her back. I need her.” Jolene said as she passed by, already recovered from her hysterics.

“Don’t be too sure of yourself,” Dark stated.

“I would suggest dropping this case now if you know what’s best for you,” Jolene warned.

“We are the worst people to threaten.” Anti stepped up to Jolene. “We will become your worst nightmare if you keep this up. You won’t just lose Annalise. You’ll lose everything.”

“Jolene, we need to leave now.” The lawyer took Jolene’s arm and lead her out of the room.

“We’re alone,” Dark said as he held Anti’s hand. Anti could feel it trembling in his grip and he quickly teleported them out of the room.

“Fuck!” Dark groaned when they appeared in their living room, the color of his skin shattered away and his aura exploded out of his back. “I need to work on that more.” He said as he panted. Dark turned his head and saw that Anti was pacing and glitching. “Anti, everything is going to be fine.”

“She threatened us. Us! Does she know who we are!? We make people disappear for a living! I fucking cut them open as if they were a fucking roast and laugh while doing it!” Anti’s eyes began to glow. “I’ll slowly cut off every single part of her body off and make sure she lives through all of it!”

“Anti…” Dark wrapped his arms around his husband, burying his face into the crook of his neck. “We’re going to win this. The judge would have to be crazy to allow Annalise to go back to her. I have everything written down, I have evidence to back up all of the allegations. Your forged recordings and my documents will ensure that Annalise will be back home with us soon.”

“I’ll kill her…”

“Later.” Dark lifted his head and started to rub Anti’s shoulders. “First, we break her.” Dark kissed Anti’s cheek. “We’ll lure her into a false sense of peace.” A kiss to the jaw. “She’ll think that she’s safe and sound.” A kiss to the neck. “Then we’ll come in.” Dark’s hands slide down Anti’s arm as he kissed his neck again. “We’ll destroy everything.” Anti took in a shaky breath as Dark’s hands slipped under the end of his shirt, untucking it and his tongue went across the bottom of his neck. “Her finances will vanish. Her friends will hate her. Her own mother won’t even look at her.” Dark’s hands began moving up, taking the shirt with it. His voice was a low whisper, his breath hot against Anti’s ear. “She'll hate everything in her life. She’ll hate herself.”

“D-Dark.” Anti groaned as one of the hands stayed up and the other slowly traveled down his stomach, his fingers barely grazing the skin.

“She’ll want to die. She’ll fight it at first. She’ll try to think of things that will keep her here and she’ll realize that it’s all gone. We took all of it away.” Anti leaned back into Dark as a thumb tucked itself into the top of his pants. Anti tilted his head back and his chest heaved as he breathed heavily. “When she’s finally ready to cave, we won’t even allow her the grace of ending it herself.” Dark grinned before giving Anti a kiss.

“Dark!” Wilford shouted as he threw open the door, not even blinking twice at the scene he saw. “You need to know something!” He kept shouting as he waved a piece of paper.

“What? What’s wrong?” Dark lowered Anti’s shirt and moved to let the other man could go behind him and make sure he was put together.

“It’s Alexander!”

“What about Alexander? He wasn’t at the trial, he clearly doesn’t care-”

“He’s the head judge!” Wilford interrupted, holding the page out.

“What!?” Dark took the paper and started reading it.

“Host kept saying that the trail wasn’t going to end well and we could not figure out what he meant. Google did some digging and found this.” Wilford explained. Anti scratched his head before speaking.

“What does Alexander being a head judge have to do with us? He left Jolene, he doesn’t…” Dark, Anti and Wilford all stared at Dark’s jacket when it began to ring. Dark gave Anti the paper and answered his phone, turning away from the other men.

“Viana, why are you crying?” Wilford and Anti shared a concerned look. “What!? How!? The judge said we had another session tomorrow!” Dark’s foot was tapping against the ground as he aura slowly grew. “That can’t be legal! Fuck what he says!” Dark suddenly stiffened. “Alright...fine...let her have her way.”

“Dark…” Anti watched as Dark started to shake. Both Anti and Wilford took a step back when Dark let out a yell as he threw his phone against the wall, shattering it.

“We lost!” Dark screamed. “We fucking lost!”

“How!? We still-”

“Alexander Richards,”Dark growled. “He took over the case and placed a ruling immediately, dismissing all evidence as faulty and granting Jolene full custody!” The three stood in silence, the only sound was Dark breathing through his teeth. He finally took a deep breath before slowly turning around, a very large grin on his face. “We’re going to get her back.”

“Is it my turn?” Anti asked with a chuckle.

“Fuck the law.”

Tag List: @readeatfightlove13 @kenzie-110101

[5hfanfiction]

Forever In Your Heart - Chapter One

Being a single mother at twenty-two years old was definitely not something she had anticipated. From a very young age, she already had her entire life planned out. Fall in love with her high school sweet heart, marry her dream guy and have a million kids all while staying madly in love with each other until they’re old and grey. Well for starters, it took her high school sweetheart seven years to realize she had feelings for her as well. Her ‘dream guy’ just so happened to be a female. She’s only had two out of those million children and the person she was suppose to stay madly in love with until they’re both old and grey up and left her and her daughters. To say her perfectly planned out life had completely gone to shit would be the understatement of the decade. Nope scratch that, century.

She couldn’t remember a day in the last few weeks where she hadn’t cried herself to sleep. She can’t say she was surprised to one day wake up with a note from the supposed love of her life breaking off their engagement and walking away from her and their children. In fact, she can confidently say that she’d always known it was too good to be true. That it was only a matter of time before something like that happened. But it didn’t make it sting any less, thats for damn sure.

The words written down on the letter only made her sad, angry and most of all, disgusted. Disgusted with herself for allowing someone who was destined to die of some sort of sexually transmitted disease into her life. Disgusted with herself for thinking that maybe, just maybe, she had changed Miami High’s resident fuckgirl. Clearly she didn’t. The only decent thing that came out of associating herself with the sick bastard who left a bitter taste in her mouth was her two beautiful twins. Arabella Joanne-Michelle Jauregui and Aria Piper-Camila Jauregui. She had convinced herself that the only reason the universe allowed that person into her life was simply to create her gorgeous life miracles.

The three year olds were her everything and meant more than life itself to her. They were her only reasons for hanging on. Both having piercing grey-blue-green eyes and a head full of light brown hair were so identical that Camila herself even had some difficulties telling them apart from time to time but as they got older, it’s definitely become easier. Arabella was the older twin by just two minutes and forty-seven seconds. Her face was slightly longer than her sister Aria’s. Her eyes were a little lighter, hair a little longer and if looking close enough, you can spot the slight height difference in the two. Arabella being the taller of the two.

Camila told herself everyday to be strong for her daughters because without her, they’d have no other parent to guide them. The girls were still too young to understand why Lauren had suddenly left. Camila not knowing how to explain it to her girls simply told them that their mommy had gone on a long trip away from home and didn’t know when or if she’d be back. Although missing their mother’s presence, the girls seemed to settle with that. Camila expected them to catch on as they grew up that their mommy wasn’t returning anytime soon.

It was currently that time of the night where Camila laid curled up in her bed as her tears stained the wrinkly letter for the hundredth time since finding it.

Dear Camz,

I know by the time you see this, you’ll either be worried sick or pissed off. Which makes me even more sorry for what I’m about to say. I was way in over my head. I’m not ready for this whole parenting thing. I’m not ready to get married. I’m not ready for any of it. I love you. I love our girls. I just can’t find it within myself to fully commit to all three of you. And I know how fucked up I am for this but please understand. Don’t look for me, don’t ask around for me. Where I’m going to go is somewhere very far away and secluded. Don’t call my number. I need my space. I hope you can one day understand this. Tell the girls I’ll always love them. Please forgive me.

Forever in your heart, Your Lolo

The tears only seemed to come down harder as she read the last two words. Your Lolo. She hated that she missed her. She hated that her heart still craved the warmth and affection of her ex-fiancée. She hated it all.

Sitting up from the cold and lonely king sized bed she once shared with the loves of her life, she carefully placed the letter into the drawer on her bedside table before standing up. She needed a cold glass of vodka. Anything to numb the pain in her chest that felt like it was sucking all the air out of her. Anything at all.

Passing the girls’ open bedroom door, she stopped to admire their sleeping frames. Aria had crawled into Arabella’s bed as she always did when her older sister fell asleep. A small sad smile fell upon Camila’s lips as a few more stray tears fell from her eyes. The two girls looked so peaceful. Not yet knowing how gruesome life itself actually was.

“Hopefully you girls will find someone who’ll love you and your children.” Camila whispered softly before continuing her journey downstairs and into the kitchen.

The ice cold burning liquid felt like hell in the wintertime sliding down her throat. It was exactly what she needed. She downed the nearly full glass of clear alcohol in less than thirty seconds. She felt her head start spinning lightly but kept it together. She went to pour herself another, small glass before heading back upstairs and to her bedroom.

She sat and thought for what felt like hours. She thought about why the universe would take away her happiness when it was just getting started. She thought about whether or not her girls will live the sad and lonely life she lived with only one parent, constantly wondering when the other would walk through the door with open arms. She had always promised herself that none of her children would have a repeat of her childhood. That none of them would go through half the shit she went through growing up with just her mother and younger sister. She swore she’d never allow any of her children to grow up without having the love of two parents. All of that has gone down the drain.

Her heart ached. She had just lost the love of her life, the mother of her daughters. This was unlike any other pain she’s ever experienced in her entire life. But most of all, it ached for her daughters. All she could do now is make up for their other parents absence by never allowing them to feel a beat of negligence.

She didn’t know how long she stayed up and thought to herself, slowly sipping on her drink but by the time she was hit with a wave of sleepiness, the sun was up and she could hear the sound of her daughters arguing already. Working on no sleep, Camila slowly got out of bed and made her way down the hall and into the room of the fighting girls.

Arabella had her younger sister in a headlock as she pulled and tugged on her hair. “Give it back!” She yelled as she dragged her younger sister around the bed.

Quickly jumping into action, Camila went in to pull the older girl off of her sister. “Ara! You don’t hurt people like that.” The young mother scolded as she separated the two. She could already feel the stress coming. Normally Lauren handled these types of situations but it’s been left to her as of lately.

“But mamá, she took my charm bracelet mommy gave me when I was asleep!” Arabella told, crossing her arms as she glared at her younger sister.

Aria was quick to furiously shake her head. “That’s a lie mamá. I never took it. I was still sleeping when she woke up.”

“You’re a liar! You pretended to sleep when I woke up. She has it in her pocket, she won’t give it back!” Arabella whined as she attempted to reach over to pinch her sister only to get yelled at by her mother.

“Don’t you dare Ara.” Camila gave forth her best glare as she successfully startled her daughter enough to get her to stop in her tracks before retreating back to her grumpy state with her little arms crossed over her chest. Camila took a deep breath before fixating her stare on Aria who looked as nonchalant as ever. One thing Camila knew about Aria was that she was a killer manipulator. She could look you dead in the eye and convince you that she was the absolute victim in the situation whereas Arabella would cry and hit until you believed her. Can you guess who got what from which parent?

Noticing her mothers eyes boring into her soul, Aria quickly put on her best confused stare. “I didn’t mamá.” She said simply. The younger girl always felt that when you pleaded for someone to believe you, it only made you look guilty. She learned that from Lauren.

Arabella let out an irritated groan as tears of frustration started to spill from her eyes. “Mamá please. Mommy gave it to me, not her. I want it back!”

“Aria stand up,” Camila instructed. The younger girl kept up her act of confusion as she stood up, walking over to her mother. Without warning, Camila dug inside of her pajama pockets and low and behold, Arabella’s charm bracelet from Lauren.

Aria looked down at the ground sheepishly as Camila glared at her. The young mother gave her oldest daughter her bracelet back before exiting the room. She was too tired to reprimand Aria for lying straight to her face and Arabella for putting her hands on her sister. All she wanted to do was make the girls breakfast, call the sitter and get ready for her 12 hour shift at work with no sleep in her system whatsoever.

As she reached their large gourmet kitchen, she looked around wondering how she was going to pay for the house Lauren bought them no less than three months ago on her own. Lauren’s job as heir of Jauregui’s Law Firm was their main income, Camila barely having to go in and work at the restaurant her family owned. Camila knew Mike and Clara Jauregui, Lauren’s parents were glad to help out her and their grandchildren especially since the random disappearance of their daughter but the thought of relying on anyone ever again made Camila sick to her stomach. Her ugly habit of relying on Lauren was currently biting her in the ass and she was determined to do some things on her own.

Which is why she was currently saving to open up a music program for children in their town. It’s always been a dream of hers and she and Lauren were working through it before Lauren up and left but she was ready to resume where they left off. She was glad the real estate agent that was helping them out originally was Lauren’s close friend, Normani Kordei who also happened to be the fiancée of her best friend Dinah Jane.

The woman had been apart of Lauren and Camila’s lives since high school, having been closer to Lauren considering they were in the same grade. Camila had always found herself closer to Dinah simply because the younger woman had always understood her more than most ever did. It was known that both Normani and Dinah have had a special type of connection between each other since their high school days so it was no surprise when the two announced they were together Dinah’s sophomore year. From there on, the two had been practically inseparable having been each other’s first and all. Just last year Dinah had made the big jump and gotten down on one knee and proposed to Normani. Their wedding was set for winter of next year. After finding out about Normani’s pregnancy, they had decided that they wanted their daughter or son to be apart of it one way or another.

Camila envied Normani and Dinah in a way. They’d always been so sure of each other and what they’ve wanted from day one. They were each other’s first, one another’s everything and they’d stop at nothing to make sure the other was at their happiest. Camila could only wish that her experience was anywhere near the same.

Having been in love with Lauren since her freshman year of high school, things had been extremely complicated. Falling in love with Miami High’s resident fuckgirl isn’t exactly an easy process. It all started with random, meaningless hookups. Well, meaningless to Lauren. To Camila it was magical, to Lauren… well, it was just having a best friend who just so happened to be a good fuck. Camila couldn’t and wouldn’t lie, it hurt. It hurt like hell knowing that the person she was in love with only saw her as a one night stand. Another one of her hoes. But any form of attention from Lauren was decent enough for Camila.

It wasn’t until she found herself pregnant at nineteen that Camila realized that she needed better. Breaking the news to a reluctant Lauren was the hardest thing she’d ever had to endure in her entire life at the time. Telling her parents was even easier in her opinion. Her mom well… let’s just say Sinu wasn’t a big fan of her daughter who was just starting off her life getting knocked up by the local sex addict. Her soon to be step father at the time, Alejandro agreed strongly with Camila’s mother but always kept his opinions to himself, afraid he’d accidentally overstep his boundaries as just a stepparent. It was no longer that way though, three years later and Alejandro was a better dad and grandfather to her and her daughters than her own biological father. Not that she even knew where he was.

Lauren’s parents were actually happy believe it or not. Lauren was nearing her time to take over her family’s multi-billion dollar company and all her parents wanted was for her to be settled down with a nice woman and a child… or two. Everyone but Lauren seemed to take the news well at some point. Lauren was convinced that it wasn’t hers. After all she’d always used protection with her hookups… or so she thought. A lot of Camila’s pregnancy Lauren was M.I.A. refusing to believe that the children were hers until a DNA testing. During those lonely nine months for Camila, Lauren was still sleeping around only now drowning half her body weight in alcohol at any club or bar she could get her hands on.

When Camila found out she was having twin girls, she cried. Cried because she’d most likely have to do it all on her own. Cried because she was bringing two innocent lives into a world where their other parent didn’t even believe that they were hers let alone wanted them. When the twins did arrive, an immediate DNA test was done ultimately proving to Lauren that those two girls were indeed her own. Camila hoped — even though she knew she deserved better — she hoped that the DNA results will make Lauren realize that she wasn’t a stupid teenager anymore. She was a grown adult who participated in bring two little girls into the world.

Camila shouldn’t have been surprised when Lauren only distanced herself some more. Going six whole months before finally deciding to introduce herself to her daughters. To say Camila was angry and stressed would be an understatement. She was grateful for her mom, sister and Alejandro along with Lauren’s siblings and parents because without them, she was sure she would have dropped dead. The first few months Lauren’s siblings Taylor and Chris and Camila’s sister Sofia would take turns spending nights at Camila’s apartment to help her with the baby, Clara and her mother doing the same when they could. Mike and Alejandro helped her financially when she had to stop working to take care of the girls and finish school. They paid for a really beautiful two floor, four bedroom apartment for Camila. Without the help of them, she would have been in deep shit.

When Lauren finally decided to stop being an everyday drunk and street whore, she came to see her daughters and former best friend who just so happened to be the mother of her children. Camila could remember that day like it was yesterday. She was changing Aria’s diaper as Dinah and Normani kept an eye on Arabella…

a/n: in case you were wondering, arabella is pronounced (air-uh-bell-uh) and aria is pronounced like (r-ee-uh) hoped that helped :).

** Flashback **

“Mila, door!” Normani called from her spot on the floor with Arabella. The little girl was too busy sucking on her keys to care about anything they were saying.

Camila went to button up Aria’s onesie, having just finished putting a new fresh diaper on her. She sighed. Stressed wasn’t even a strong enough word to describe her state of mind at the moment. “Coming!” Pulling Aria’s pants back up, she picked her up. “Come on big girl. Let’s see who’s at the door, yeah?” She spoke in the baby voice Dinah always seemed to call her out for as she carried out the little girl who seemed to only make blubbering noises.

Walking past Normani and Dinah, stopping briefly to smile down at her other daughter she made her way across the loft like area and over to her front door. Pulling it open, the person behind the door was the last person she wanted to see. Her face fell as she stood there in shock as she stared up at the piercing green eyes of the woman she hasn’t seen in months. A scowl set itself onto her face as she gapped at the woman before her.

Lauren brought her hand up to the back of her neck to scratch at it nervously. “H-Hey…” she stuttered out, eyes shifting between Camila and the baby in her arms.

“What do you want.” Camila asked, cutting straight to chase as she attempted to cut the bullshit ready to fall from Lauren’s lips.

“I-I… can I just come in?” She asked softly. Her green eyes started to become glossy with tears as she locked eyes with the grey-blue-green ones before her.

Camila felt as her jaw clenched, shifting Aria’s body onto her other hip. She turned to gaze into her apartment before turning back towards Lauren and stepping aside. She held her hand out motioning for her to walk in. She didn’t know why she was even giving the woman the time of day but she convinced herself that it was for her daughters. Lauren hesitantly walked in, taking in the professionally decorated apartment. Thanks to her mother.

Completely forgetting about Dinah and Normani, Camila led Lauren into her loft like living area. The two women stopped what they were doing as they looked up from their staring competition with Arabella upon hearing two sets of feet entering the room. Dinah was quick to jump up from her spot beside Normani and Arabella, sizing Lauren up immediately.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” She hissed as she looked Lauren up and down in nothing but disgusted hatred.

Normani stood up as well moving to calm her girlfriend down. “Dinah… relax.” She said softly. Dinah slowly let her tensed shoulders drop but kept her harsh stare trained onto the woman who reeked of booze and cheap perfume. Probably from her most recent hookup.

Camila shifted awkwardly as Aria began to get heavy in her arms. Normani seeing this walked over to her friend to take the younger twin, Camila smiling up gratefully at her. It was awkwardly silent for a few moment before Camila asked everyone to sit as they all turned their attention to Lauren, wondering why exactly she chose to come now.

“I just wanted to come and see my children.” Lauren started off, shocking Camila and Normani but angering Dinah. She had always been overly protective of Camila so when Lauren broke her heart and left her to raise two girls on her own, she grew an extreme resentment for her former high school friend. “I know I have no right to randomly show up considering everything I’ve put you through but… a friend of mine reminded me that I couldn’t live in fear of the future and had to let life run its course.” She then turned to Camila, taking her hands in her own sending unwanted electrical shocks up the younger woman’s arms. “I’m so sorry Camz. I’ve been awful to you and our kids and… I don’t know. I’m just so sorry and God, if I could take back everything I’ve put you through I most definitely would. I really want to be there for you and them. Only if you’d allow me.”

The room fell silent before Dinah quickly stood up. “Yeah right Jauregui. Go prance your good for nothing ass back to one of your stupid sluts. What? No more good pussy in town? Get. Out.” Dinah stood over Lauren, cold brown eyes glaring daggers into green ones.

Lauren stood up as well, glaring just as hard at Dinah. “I get you’re upset for what I’ve done but I’m here now and its better late than never. I don’t care how much you dislike me, it’s not going to stop me from making an effort to fix my old wrong doings.”

** End Of Flashback **

Obviously Camila fell for Lauren’s wannabe changed ways and it lasted a good two and a half years until well, the last three weeks. Things were good, great even. But now all Camila wished was to go back in time and take back ever allowing Lauren back into her life and into her daughters lives. Maybe then it would have hurt less. Maybe her pain would have been relieved. Maybe she would have moved on. But life clearly has different plans for everyone.

All Camila knew was that now she had to make a new life for her and her daughters. Start brand new and hope for the best. So that’s what she did.

As she made breakfast for the two girls all while texting the sitter asking when or if she was on her way, she had an hour long phone call with Normani for buildings that were in her price range. By the time the girls had eaten and the sitter had arrived, Camila was beyond tired but had to go in for work.

Kissing her daughters goodbye and going over the do’s and dont’s with the sitter, she was gone. She prayed that she wouldn’t crash into someone as she drove down to the nearest McDonald’s for a large cup of black coffee before heading over to her parents restaurant.

—-

Trigger Warning: slightly graphic

“Prove to us that you’re still rocking with us Jauregui. Prove to us that you’re still as bad ass as you were back in high school. Prove to us that you’re still that cold hearted bitch with no regard for anyone but yourself. Prove to us that your little family back home means nothing to you.” Lauren listened to the words Zayn spoke to her as he shoved the handheld firearm into her hands. She felt her stomach bubble with disgust as the next words fell from his lips. “Place a fat one smack dab in the middle.”

Cold dead green eyes stared at the blindfolded man as he tugged at the chains around his arms, shouting and screaming for help. For anyone to hear him. But nobody could and even if they did, they weren’t stupid enough to investigate it. Not in this city anyways.

Swallowing harshly, she thought to herself as she pulled the trigger. I’m so sorry Camz.

She watched silently as the loud sound of the gun going off sounded throughout the dark room, the man instantly falling limp, his body nothing but a lifeless dump. Blood pouring down his face. She felt disgusted with herself but refused to let it show. She stood motionless as the people around her cheered, patting her on the back and telling her how happy they are that she’s back.

“Great to have you back Jauregui.” Clarie said, smiling flirtatiously at the green eyed woman as she draped an arm over her shoulder. “What do you say we get out of here and give old times a little spin?” The older blue eyed woman brought her bottom lip in between her teeth, using her other hand to rub Lauren’s forearm.

She gave the brunette a small roll of the eyes before removing herself from around her. She would go along with whatever Zayn forced her to do involving the gang but she refused to cheat on Camila. No matter what she may have said, Camil was still hers in her head and she planned to find a way to come back home. All she needed to do was get rid of Zayn.

“No thank you.” Was all she said before exiting the room and heading into the main foyer.

“Roll me a fat one.” She said to one of the guys as she took a seat, grabbing a cold beer from the mini fridge beside them.

This was going to be a long year. But she was determined to make it back before her wedding all while sticking to her plan. She needed to have a call with Normani and Dinah soon.

Bringing the beer bottle up to her lips, she took a long drink as she blocked out everyone. She couldn’t find it within herself to connect with these people like she use to. All she saw them as were monsters who ruled by intimidation and force. She promised herself the day she allowed herself to get to know her daughters that she’d never go back to them. That was until Zayn came back into her life. She was going to end him and shut this shit down once and for all.

All she had to do was sit back and wait for her chance.

—-

a/n: welp, tell me what you guys think. idk how i feel about this but i really wanna continue.

to my tumblr readers, don’t forget to follow me on wattpad @ wthbello and add this story to your library. also check out my other stories if you’d like.

please answer end of the chapter questions below (:

what do you wanna see happen next?

how do you feel about this so far?

did you enjoy it?

what do you think of lauren and camila’s strained relationship?

do you think lauren’s plan of taking zayn out will backfire?

how do you feel about the girls?

what are you expectations moving forward?

thanks so much for reading and comment and voting. love y'all and hope to see you next time.

ellianna, xxxxxxxx

[ahoycharlie]

1:27am

because if i don’t get this all out of my head, something bad will happen. 

The next couple of weeks until god knows when are going to tear me apart. I know they will. I’m depressed beyond anything I’ve ever been before, and everything in me is screaming to pull the blankets over my head and just fade out. It is taking everything in me to not give into past habits. 

I am literally going to have to save my family from going bankrupt, or my mother from dying due to stress and heartbreak. I can’t fucking watch this happen anymore, and I’m the only one who gives a fuck about her. My sister is an abusive fuck, and every night for the past couple of months my mother has been so depressed, abused, and stressed out that there hasn’t been a day that she doesn’t breakdown. I can’t see this look on her face anymore because of you two parasites. If something happens to her I don’t know what the fuck I would do. I keep seeing people her age passing away, and she sees it too. This can’t be all there is to her life. It fucking can’t. 

Now, I have to force myself to push back my mental illnesses and my fibro and find jobs that will help pull us out of the hole you have caused. We continuously have to pay your fucking rent, your car payments, your utilities and gas, and everything fucking else you need. You would think the threat of being homeless would knock some sense into you (especially since you use that to manipulate her every single day), or the threat of you abusing mom is going to be why something will happen to her. You bash her for her breakdown she had 10 years ago and say your “real” mother died and has been replaced by an empty shell. Who the fuck do you think you are? Do you not understand YOU are the reason she is so beaten down in life? You constantly tell her that she’s basically dead, and you can never rely on us even though we are the fucking ones who have to sell OUR shit to pay your bills. You tell her how she will never be anyone anymore, and how sad it is that you “don’t have a mother” or one that isn’t “fucked up and pathetic.” She has to sell jewelry that has sentimental value, and she has to get a lean on our car or you tear her to shreds. I’m starting to save everything you send her in texts, so if something does happen to her, I’ll make a photo album of them all for you to keep. 

I’m over your abuse. I’m over you making her feel like she is absolutely nothing, or even alive. I always think to myself, “if you saw how many times she cries herself to sleep after you say these things to her....” but then I remember how much of a piece of shit you are. The second your bills are paid you’re back to this “mommy im sorry i lashed out at you. i’m going to make us thousands of dollars with my weed business that hasn’t gone anywhere in years and never will go anywhere, so dont you worry. love u” manipulative fuck. Then the second your bills need to be paid, or you need hundreds of dollars for a new toy for your business, you need medicine, or anything else you are right back to abusing her. You have no fucking idea how distraught you’ve made her. How insecure and fucked up you’ve made her. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I wish you and him (since he’s just as fucking abusive) would just disappear. Just fucking go. Don’t talk to her. Don’t think you care about her. Just fucking leave.

I have to find jobs to pay off YOUR debts to people including my friends who’ve pulled their savings in order to fucking help because they can’t stand how much you abuse her. I have to find jobs to pay your and our bills. I have to figure out a way to pay for Stewie’s surgery, or I’ll have to fucking put him down. I can’t stop crying when I look at him because I know that’s most likely what it’ll come to. We would have had money in our savings to at least pay for most of it if it wasn’t for you. I don’t want to put him down. He’s been through everything with me. I have to save up for my own surgery and name/gender change, but instead I get to pay off your debts. I would still fucking have insurance. We haven’t been able to buy new clothes in forever because all our money goes to you, and his addiction. None of our clothes fit anymore. Mom wouldn’t have to sell her things. We could pay our bills. Mom could be fucking happy for once if it wasn’t for YOU. One day I hope you understand that, and I hope it tears you apart. She deserved so fucking much. Especially a life better than this. 

This month you have no rent which is thousands. Mom is already trying to put another lean on the car, and trying to figure out what other things she can sell. I haven’t stopped shaking, throwing up, breaking down, biting my nails until they  bleed, or having anxiety attacks over what is going on. I go between severely depressed, dissociated, numb, livid, to just overwhelmingly sick. I don’t even know what or how the fuck I’m going to do this with my anxiety and fibro. I can barely get out of bed most days because i’m so exhausted, or i’m flaring so bad that just putting on clothes causes more pain. I’m going to have to bust my ass full-time or have two jobs in order to even try to make a dent in what you’ve caused. 

Already I feel so fucking useless and pathetic because I don’t even know if I can do this. But I fucking have to. We can’t live like this anymore. It’s got to be me. I’m the only one who gives a fuck. 

All I want to do right now is throw up or take more meds to make me pass out so my head will stop screaming at me. How the fuck am I going to do this. I just want us to be okay. 

[smxldreamcrs-blog]

❥ I’D GIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU °

SUMMARY : cosette has been seeking therapy for awhile and seemed to get her depression under control, that is until she runs into her old boss who turns out to manipulate her. instead of going out to meet with her therapist, she goes out working for him again. getting worse and worse until she was back to her old depressed self. making a choice for her son.

INSPIRATION: cosette is based off a character named kim from miss saigon. this is the song (actually a scene, but the link is just the song) that i so happened to think of when i plotted this --- click

TRIGGER WARNING : possible rape, manipulation, attempted suicide, depression, and suicidal thoughts. in case i miss anything, i will also include ect. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. if you possibly can’t read it but want to know what happened, i can explain it as best as i could without triggering you. 

trigger warning : MANIPULATION

stepping off the bus, cosette made her way down the street, heading over to the familiar building to meet up with her therapist once again. ever since finch forced her to go see and talk to this stranger, she seemed to be getting herself back together. no longer as depressed as she was. obviously she wasn’t fixed, that is impossible, but she was reaching the goal. that is until she felt a pair of arms grab her by the shoulder and yank her to the side into a dark alley. before she could scream, a hand was placed over her mouth. brown tearful hues glancing up as her body suddenly froze.

it couldn’t be.. she thought to herself as she stared up at the menacing look that so happened to belong to her own boss. the smaller girl tried to get out of his grasp but was soon shoved back into the wall. a groan falling from her muffled lips. “you thought you could just run off and not believe i wouldn’t come find you? princess, you know i own you. you can never escape from me.” the man spoke harshly as he grabbed a fistful of her hair. “we will work together again and make me rich.” tears falling from her eyes as she shook her head, whimpering out no’s and begging him not to, but it seemed to ignite his anger. “now listen here. if you do not work for me, i will make sure your little brat and boy toy will no longer see the light of day. you wouldn’t want that now, would you?” hearing that he would go after finch and her son, she couldn’t bare it. “if i work for you.. you won’t hurt them?” the devilish smirk seemed to appear on the man’s face, nodding at what he has heard, “as long as you stop seeing your precious therapist and work for me, they will be fine.” swallowing the lump in her throat, cosette’s hues fell to the ground as she nodded, “fine.”

“now that’s what i like to here.” getting a whiff of her hair, he gripped onto her, “they will never find out, now come on. we have work to do.”

trigger warning : RAPE & ABUSE

it’s almost been a month since cosette has stopped seeing her therapist. she has found herself in a dark whole and is still working for the sleeze ball. instead of meeting with her therapist and going back to finch’s place to meet with him and her son, she was here at the bar. dancing on the pole and attempting to earn money for her boss so he wouldn’t get upset and keep her long so finch wouldn’t feel suspicious. her body swayed from side to side, up and down the pole as the men’s holler echoed around the room. they cheered and threw money. grabbing onto her here and there, until her boss pulled her from the stand and held the money in front of her.

“you see this? that young gentleman by the stairs has paid for you. you do what he says and you do not take no for an answer. you already know the rules, now go make me some more money.” he spanked her ass and pushed her towards the direction. her body nearly jolted and her hues watered slightly. quickly grabbing a shot and downing the burning alcohol down her throat, she made her way to the stairs, meeting with the male.

he stood tall and proud, in the most cocky way imaginable. hues dark green and a smile that seemed to hold dangerous secrets. before she could say anything, his muscular arms wrapped around her small waist and his large hands grabbing onto her ass, “i hope you’re worth all the money that i paid for tonight. i don’t like talking. i just want to hear you scream and beg for more.”

cosette felt disgusted, but she had a job and simply nodded as she led the man to one of the rooms. almost immediately when the door shut behind the two, she was suddenly thrown onto the bed. his body now hovering hers, ripping at the fabric that covered her now naked body. she whimpered out and attempted to fight back by instinct. the man didn’t seem to like it and he quickly slapped her across the face, “what did i tell you, you little bitch? are you forgetting that you are my whore for the night and you will do as i say.” cosette teared up and nodded but cried out when he punched her in the face, making her see black spots, “stop crying you slut, or else this won’t be enjoyable for the both of us.” attempting to hold back the tears, she nodded quickly and soon groaned when he roughly entered her and had his way with her for what felt like an eternity.

trigger warning : SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

cosette laid on the dirty sheets as she watched the monster leave the room. as the door shut, the tears began to pour and soft quiet cries fell from her lips. her small fingers gripping onto the sheets, attempting to cover her bruised pale body. this happened almost everyday and not once has she gotten used to it. she felt violated. she felt used. and it was only going to get worse each day and each hour. this will be her routine. a permanent one if she wanted to keep her son safe.

she knew that she would never be able to provide for mason. no matter what she did, it would never be enough. finch is the one providing for the both of them. the only one being able to provide for her son and keep him safe. she knew he was the only one to do that. and she knew very well she couldn’t live with him forever. he was getting married and she wouldn’t want to get in the middle of that. no matter how much she loved him. cosette didn’t think she would ever love anyone as much as she does with finch.

she couldn’t continue on like this anymore. the weight on her shoulders and heavy feeling on her chest. the constant crying every night, just wishing to never wake up the next day. each time she took a step, something was pushing onto her back until she felt like she would collapse into a dark hole and never come back up. it was all too much.

if she were to be gone, no one would miss her. if she were to be gone, things would still be the same. if she were to be gone, mason would have a better life. a better family. if she were to be gone, mason would have everything he deserves. if she were to be gone, mason would have a new mommy who will love him better than she could. if she were to be gone, finch would be relieved and wouldn’t have to watch her again. she would have to end it. end it soon.

trigger warning : SUICIDE ATTEMPT

cosette was helping her son get ready on an outing with his daddy. she button up his shirt while he babbled on about his dream on how he was a giant dinosaur. she attempted to nod and smile, giving him some ‘oh really’ and ‘wow’ whenever he said something remotely cool. placing a kiss on his forehead, she bit her bottom lip and tried not to cry.

“now mason, you brave boy.. i want you to promise mommy that you will always keep smiling as life goes on. you now have a father who will give you lots of toys, food, and a home.” she smiled tearfully while stroking his chubby little cheek, “i can’t go along, but i’ll still be here.” her finger poking at his little heart. of course mason was only four and two young to even understand what was happening, but cosette continued as she reached out and gave him a small photo of him and her when he was a baby, “keep this with you as long as you can, okay?” with that, she pulled him into a tight embrace, attempting not to sob in front of her son. not wanting him to see her that way.

“look at me, one last time.” she spoke weakly while mason looked at his mommy with a big smile. smiling sadly, she let out a weak laugh and pressed a kiss to his forehead, “i love you.” she whispered while resting her head on his forehead. the little boy giggled and squeaked, “love you momma.” kissing his head once more, she spoke quietly, “goodbye..” as if on cue, she heard finch’s voice call out to mason, causing the little boy to squeal and run out of the room.

cosette sat still for a moment as she heard her former lover’s voice call out goodbye to her and the sound of the door shutting. slowly gathering herself onto her feet, she stepped towards the window, she watched as the two made their way to the car. letting out a sob, she grabbed her purse and pulled out a gun. sobbing through it all, she shook her head and glanced at the photo of her son at the bed side table. they think they’ll decide your life.. no it will be me.

holding the gun out in front of her, she felt terrified but also relieved. knowing that her son will no longer suffer and finch will no longer be stressed, and her boss will no longer touch them. shutting her eyes, her finger pulled on the trigger.. now laying on the carpeted floor as blood gushed out of her abdomen and through her clothes..

mason nearly tripped on his shoe lace and had his daddy tie them for him. the gun shot echoed from the apartment building causing the two to look up. mason was confused and didn’t know what was going on, “momma?”