#my mom's giving me a ride to the ER in the morning

[saminthea]

Is it appendicitis or just fibromyalgia and a stomach bug? Guess we'll see in the morning!

[stellarboystyles]

hiiii hope you’re well! Will we ever get a part 2 to right where you left me?? That cliffhanger gets me on edge every time I re read it lol

Harry's never endured a more torturously long trip inside a vehicle quite like this ambulance ride. The hospital was 5 bloody minutes out and it felt like fifty, clutching his wife's hand like it was the last time he ever could where she was clutching back. He'll never forget the look in her eyes that night.

"I don't wanna die."

Her cries crushed his soul. The look on her face and the quivering in her voice was enough send him into a coma. We're talking about the girl that Harry knew he was going to marry by the middle of their second date.

"M'gonna marry you."

Nora hides a giggle behind the wine glass in her hand.

"You're drunk."

When people ask Harry when he knew she was the one, he tells this story every time.

Seeing this gorgeous girl—who's warm and kind and...real, tipsy off some cheap wine and giggling at his jokes that he knows aren't really that funny at all—was unbelievable to him.

"M'not drunk, m'serious." Harry scoffs playfully, waving his hand dismissively. "And maybe a little drunk, but that's not even relevant."

"Mhm." she nods, trying to stifle another laugh. "We'll see if your mind changes in the morning."

The eye contact between the two of them never stifled, a defining moment for Nora and Harry. It was a scene out of a Netflix original. John B and Sarah Cameron level shit.

"It won't."

The girl he used to take on secret sushi dates away from any cameras.

“I’ve never met someone who likes poke as much as I do.”

“My mom grew up in China, so this is what I grew up eating.” She laughs.

“I thought sushi was from Japan?”

Nora giggles, giving Harry the impression that he just fucked up royally.

“M’sorry—”

“Harry, didn’t you know that sushi actually originated in China?”

“I—I didn’t.”

“No one really does.” she giggles. “It’s ok.”

“See, when we get married,” she starts, making Harry nearly choke on his water as she’s nonchalantly picking up another sashimi with her chopsticks. “I can make you any kind of sushi you want, like a pro.��

He’s in awe of her. Her charm and her wit, it’s something you can’t fake and he can’t stop smiling.

“Mm, can’t wait.”

The girl that said “okay?!” when he proposed.

The girl that pulled all the strings to make his birthday special during quarantine.

The girl who went to every show of his that she could to support him.

The girl that makes him homemade gifts because she knows they mean more to him that some $11k pair of Gucci boots.

That girl. His forever. His baby. The one he could never live without, even if he tried.

“We’re going to Trauma One.”

“Page OB.”

“Can we get Respiratory in here, please?!”

Harry waits in the waiting room for an eternity. He’s either sitting down in one of the chairs bouncing his leg or pacing back and forth to pass the time. Finally, the door from the waiting room to the ER buzzes open and Harry pushes himself out of the chair to meet the nurse that’s walking out. He knows she’s out here for him, the hospital was a ghost town tonight. No one in the waiting room but him.

“Are you husband?”

“Yes.” He nods.

“What’s her name and birthday?”

“Nora Styles, 1/16/97.”

“Alright, she's up in OB now, 3rd floor. I'll walk you up.”

He’s walking with the nurse as she begins filling him in.

“She's stable now, mum and baby's oxygen levels and heart rate are normal, but her blood pressure is very high, too high for us to be comfortable with letting this go, so the doctor will probably want an emergency c-section.”

The nurse took notice of the worry on Harry's face and attempted to put him at ease.

"It sounds scary, but their number one priority is a healthy and happy mom and baby. And in this case that means getting your baby out as soon as possible."

They reach the unit doors, and she buzzes him in.

"She's in 14B, just down that hall and her room is on the left."

Harry thanks her again and hurries down the hall. His nerves spike approaching the door.

He was almost afraid to see her. He'll never get that image out of his head. Her laying on the fucking pavement, all bloodied and bruised. Probably a scene that could haunt him forever.

“Love?”

Slowly walking in, he sees his wife asleep on the bed. Her arm is bruised pretty badly, marked with purplish blue bruises on her hand.

“Oh, babe.”

He sits down in the chair next to her, and takes her hand in his.

“You’re gonna be okay.” He whispers, kissing her hand before the tears start rolling.

“I love you so much.”

He’s choking back cries, and tilts his head towards the ceiling.

“Don’t let her fucking die, please.”

to be continued

[chronicillnessfromateensmind]

i don’t know how to describe what the past few weeks of my life have been like. i don’t know if it’s physically possible to put into words just how much i’ve been dealing with.

i’ve been in a terrible flare since the weekend before my birthday. and i feel betrayed.

i feel betrayed by the american medical system, by the lack of compassion i’ve witnessed first hand. and while i’m no stranger to the judgment and gaslighting that’s in the medical community, seeing as i fought for two years for my pain and voice to be taken seriously before i got my amps diagnosis. i fought and fought, went to doctor after doctor, pleaded and begged, and only until something horrific happened to me did they take what i had to say seriously. and i don’t know if it’s the humanity in me or the hope that resides deep inside of me that thought this time would be different, that the doctors would take me seriously, that they would put in the effort or at least give me options on where to go or what to do to help me. but once again i was proven wrong.

i feel betrayed because i know that i can’t live a healthy lifestyle right now, i physically can’t do the things people my age can. and it’s frustrating and devastating because i know somethings not right with me, and i’m pretty sure i know what it is just through my own personal research and communities i’ve found during all of this, but everytime i go to my primary doctor she writes me off. in fact i was in such severe pain i screamed my head off the night prior, was convinced one of my collar bones had gone out of place, and was terrified. but when i showed up the the pediatrician she didn’t even look me in my eye, gave me the fastest work up ever before dismissing my concerns, and telling me and my mom that i should visit a pain clinic place that is a deep rooted sense of trauma for me. for they prescribed me so many medications that messed with my head and gave me horrific side effects. she also told my mom i should see a psychiatrist. basically saying idk what the deal with you is you’re probably just crazy.

the problems i’m dealing with, subluxations, joint pain, rashes, welts on my skin, gi issues, and a lot more i don’t feel the energy to share right now, aren’t symptoms a psychiatrist can help. i’m not crazy. i’m not insane. i’m not making this up. you can watch my collar bone move back into place after it subluxated. you can see the welt on my skin appear after i rub it. you can see the blood pooling happening in my feet and hands everytime i sit down or stand up. i’m exhausted and while my flare is calming down, i’m drained. and it’s disappointing that no doctor cares.

following the visits with my pediatrician, i was in such pain from the car ride and the movement that i was in hysterics that night. the pain in my collar bones and shoulder and neck were unbearable. it felt like my spine wasn’t being held properly together, it felt unstable, if felt terrible. i almost collapsed in the kitchen as i was in so much pain as i screamed and begged for any kind of relief. the next morning we went to the emergency room just to make sure everything was in the right place. and thankfully it was, but the er wasn’t really helpful other than that. they gave me some meds that made me sleepy and that helped distract my mind from the pain, but that was it.

we also reached out again to the cardiologist that’s been helping me with pots. and while the medication he gave me has extremely helped significantly lessen my pots symptoms, he was no help either. in fact we called multiple times over the course of multiple days and received no reply. only to find out, he was planning on sending me to that same pain clinic that i still am severely traumatized by. even though we specifically have mentioned that we cannot go back to that place.

me and my family have been left alone to figure out how to deal with the daily struggles i have experienced without any medical help. we got a shower stool so i don’t faint in the shower, we got a cane so on my rough days when my hips pop in and out i can still somewhat walk around, heating pads and pain patches to try to relieve the pain the best we can, tylenol and advil around the clock.

my body and mind are exhausted from being in a constant state of fight or flight from the pain. this flare was extremely rough. but i survived.

when you’re in so much pain that your body goes into a state of shock, you can only focus on pain. all you can feel is pain, all you can sense is pain, all you can breath is pain. it feels like you’re trapped in an eternal loop of never ending pain. the days seem longer, the hours seem to go on forever, the minutes feel like months. it’s almost impossible for your mind to comprehend that the pain will lessen at some point eventually. this time, it took over 3 weeks for it to lessen. but it did. and i survived.

i’m not alone in the betrayal of the medical community ignorance. my family has been betrayed as they are forced to witness me deal with all of these issues and receive no useful information or help. thousands of others with the same disorders and conditions i have, have been treated exactly as i have. i know this. i know not to get my expectations up when i see someone ina white coat. but i just wish one doctor could care a little about me. because all they see is the chart. they see my medical history, my files. but they don’t see me.

they don’t see how creative i am. they don’t see how compassionate i am. they don’t see how unique and intelligent i am. they don’t see my artwork. they don’t see my stories. they don’t see my voice. they don’t see me.

i wish they would though. because my symptoms and my pain has been limiting my ability to do the things i love. it’s pulled me out of school, which i love. it’s limited my writing abilities, which is my passion. it’s limited my ability to shop, which is my favorite thing to do.

even though i’m dealing with way more than most 17 year olds are, i know one day i’ll be able to say wow i did that. and i got through it. my story is chaotic and unpredictable to say the least. but it’s not over, i won’t let these disorders write my story for me. i will. this chapter is just darker than others will be.

if you take anything from me, don’t write off a person because they look “healthy”. or what society has painted the idea of what healthy on the outside looks like anyways. you never know what someone is dealing with. your words matter. they hold power. they can heal, but they can also damage. please be compassionate to one another.

[krystelprado]

The one where everything felt surreal

Hi, you're probably reading this because you've read the first one about my labor. Here you'll learn how my birth experience went as raw as I can describe it because I won't sugar-coat anything. I've been lied to about this! Imma make sure that the lies ends here. lol!

Around 9pm, we safely arrived at the hospital. I want to stress out on the "safely" part of this arrival because RJ is just laser-focused on the "faster" part and the rest of the ride was just a bunch of honking. I don't know how many times I've squeezed his arms every time a contraction hits, maybe that's the reason why.

We were settled at the E.R., I was comforted by the sight of my doctor. She said that she just delivered a baby that's why she's there. She sent me to one of her resident doctors to be IEd so she could assess what CM the opening of my cervix is at. Now, I am at 4cm.

I'm like, wtf! Really?! After all that wrenching pain, we're still at 4cm?!

She said she'll be back for me in the morning or even before that, anyway she already told her resident doctors to monitor me and my baby.

At the E.R., they attached a contraction and fetal heart monitor on my belly and kid you not, that's when my contraction really up its intensity to x5 and the intervals are just now down to 1-2mins apart! I was just so lucky that RJ was still allowed to stay with me at the E.R. Without him there, I wouldn't know where to get some courage to stay awake through the pain. We were settled at the ER first since my RT-PCR result is still not in, once I get the negative RT-PCR result back, that's when they'll put me on the L&D floor along with the other laboring moms. I let RJ get some power nap because I know it would still take time. This time, I can no longer bear the pain but gladly, my mother and sisters are there with me virtually, monitoring and cheering my soul up. Thank God for the gift of family! It truly helped me divert my attention from the pain. I can still even joke around while messaging them.

I just really wished it's the same environment they allow in the L&D floor.

Around 11pm, RJ told me that my negative RT-PCR results are in. This is where he'd leave me. He'll stay in our room while I will be taken on the L&D floor waiting for my cervix to open, wider enough to deliver a baby. I was not allowed to bring anything even my mobile phone. It was just me and my IV line, in a hospital gown with my huge belly. The orderly who assisted me going up even said, "Oo ma'am, ikaw lang didto. Bawal cellphone. Sunod kita ninyo ni Sir naa na si baby." RJ and I looked at each other and said our goodbyes, see you later.

Little did I know this is where my agony starts.

Before entering the L&D room, they had me remove my footwear and wear the sanitized ones they have. I can already tell how weak the lights are from the entrance. For some reason, that added to my tension. It gives off very despairing vibe which is the very last thing a laboring mother needs. The nurse who met me upon arrival asks me to climb up to the table because a doctor will attend to me in a while for IE. Shet, kaingon gyud ko'g IE na sad?! I hate it when it's the male resident doctor who'd do it on me because he's not therapeutic - at all! Well, guess what, it's him the nurse pulled. It was only postpartum when I realized, I can decline him! We're in a private hospital, I can despise him and ask for another doctor to do it for me. Sorry self, my laboring brain wasn't braining anymore.

Almost midnight, I'm still at 4cm.

As I counted, I am the seventh mom brought in the L&D. At this point, I succumb to the pain. The L&D room of the hospital is not at all mending! The room's lights are dim, it's freezing cold, and the other portion of the room, which beds aren't occupied, had the lights turned off. Imagine how dark it is. I cannot even clearly see the faces of the other moms I am in labor with! If I can rate the pain I am feeling at this moment, it's already 50/10. I felt so off and terrified the moment I was settled on one of the beds there. I can feel every movement of my baby and the contraction is coming in stronger every time. I'm sobbing in agony. I felt so alone. You know, when you're in pain, feeling you're the only one in that room with no one to turn to is adding to the weakness and vulnerability I'm feeling. I've verbalized for so many times that I can no longer bear the pain and it's mostly my back that hurts, not the lower part of my belly - which they always say, "sakit sa may pus-on, Ma'am? Ana gyud na, Ma'am." Like, no, it's my lower back that's in pain, pinching needles kind of pain. But nada! The male doctor from his station even said, "Kinsa manang sige'g hilak diha?" Referring to me, duh! At this point, I'm ready to go out of the L&D room and look for RJ. After that male doctor sarcastically asked, one of the nurses went up to me and ask, again, if my pus-on hurts. Again, I said, I can't feel any pressure on my lower belly every time a contraction hits. I'd feel it in my entire belly. With our without contraction, my lower back hurts and that's the pain I cannot tolerate at this point. She arranged the FH and contraction monitor in a way that it won't squeeze my lower back and returned to the male resident doctor. After a few minutes, that same nurse went up to me and asked me if I'd rather get painless medicine. At the back of my mind, I recalled what my mom and sister said not to get it because it would somehow lose my urge to push. I was confused at this point. I'd want to push naturally but if this pain would continue for the next 3 hours, given that I am still at 4cm, I won't make it. I really won't. So, I asked the nurse, sorry this question I'm about to ask is kinda dumb knowing I'm aware of how this goes because of my medical background but whatever lol, I asked it anyway. I said to the nurse, "If magpa-painless ako, mag take effect yan agad? Or later pa? Kay di nagyud nako makaya ang sakit." She only answered me this, exactly this, "Ay sige lang Ma'am, i-explain mana ni Doc." she then turned her back on me and left. Like, huh?! That didn't answer my question?! Hellooo? Whatever, so, I am still in x100 pain. While waiting for the doctor to "explain" things to me. I have called all the saints there is possible, prayed to God to stop this misery, and I have confessed all my sins over and over again! I have already asked forgiveness to my child I am about to deliver if she lives after this delivery and I won't, she should know that I love her. Yes, I had this entire monologue in the L&D room because of the pain. I don't really know anymore what to do. Again, I am very terrible at handling physical pain. I have zero pain tolerance.

After sometime, one nurse and one orderly went up to me, arranged my monitors and IV in bed, and rolled me going outside the L&D room! Like, hello? Are you even gonna tell me where we're heading?! But I didn't bother to ask, I don't care anymore where they're taking me. I have zero energy at this point. Next thing I know, they're asking me to climb up the delivery table. So we're in the DR now. There I saw my anesthesiologist, as how she introduced herself to me and that she will be the one administering my epidural. Oh, so I'm getting the painless now? Where's the explaining part?! She's a female doctor, by the way. So I asked her the question I asked the nurse a while ago. She answered me in a very comforting way an in-pain and laboring mother can register into her mind. She asked me quite a few times if I am sure. And sorry Mama, but I am getting the epidural.

I am getting an epidural for the first time in my life! I knew how it's administered but this is the first time that it will be done on me. My anesth doctor is still preparing the things she'll need for the procedure, while prepping, she keeps pep talking me. She asked if it's my first pregnancy, how was the labor so far, the contractions, and keeps reassuring me that I can do it and that she's seeing a brave woman in me by simply enduring the pain for hours. Literally, an angel in the sick room. At last! Someone who's nice to me through this labor pains! At this point, my contractions are so awful that every time it stops, I take the interval rest so seriously that I fall asleep that quickly, and then wake up again once the next contraction hits! That's how painful my contractions are. My anesth never left my side so she noticed that I fall asleep in between contractions. She's the one who told me that I should always be awake and alert. She gently holds my head and say, "Tel, ayaw katulog, tel. Close lang ug eyes kung kapuy pero ayaw ug katulog ha? Dili dapat ka matulog." And I always answer her, "Doc, sakit kaayo. Lami i-tulog if mawala ang sakit." She bats an eye to the nurses around us and two of them started talking to me keeping me awake. Few minutes from there, I saw a female resident doctor, she came up to me and ask for a permission to do IE before they administer the epidural. Still, 4cm. This is already around 1-2am.

Before they put me on epidural, the nurses attempted to ease my pain, they turned me sideways with a pillow in between my legs. This is not only to lessen my contraction pains, it will also encourage my cervix to dilate faster. They said, they'll continue this 'til 3am and see if my cervix dilates. My pain is not lessen, even a bit! The nurses started to notice that I am already crying. At least I am awake, duh. Every time they hear me sob in pain, either one of them would come up to me and repeatedly tell me this, "Ma'am, ayaw ug hilak, Ma'am kay di mana mkatabang. Mawad-an ra ka'g kusog unya mag push sige ka'g hilak. Oh, uban mama gani hilom lang." Like, wtf!? Hawa mo diri sa akong atubangan! And by the looks of them, they're way younger than I am and their body, from my perspective, it looked like it never had another human being inside it, so uh uh, don't talk to me as if you know my pain. I started bawling my eye out and this time I am intentionally making it louder to release the pain. Idc anymore! My anesth started talking to me again, "Ano man, Tel? Mag epidural na ta?" and I immediately, no hesitation, said yes. Quickly, she had a male orderly help me curl up.

Idk if someone already put this out there, but man! Getting epidural in between contractions is freakin' hell! Imagine, you're in a cold delivery room with only your delivery gown covering you from freezing, on a delivery table with every eyes on you, a male orderly asks you to curl up like a shrimp and he will hold that position for you until your anesthesiologist puts the epidural line in place!? Like, did anyone discuss how was that?! Because for me, it's out of this world insane! The male orderly even have to shout at me to make me stay still. My doctor's hands, even with gloves, is so cold! Every time she holds my lower back, I can feel tingles and it makes me jerk. The male orderly, I can vividly remember told me, "Ma'am, ma'am!! Ayaw'g lihok ma'am kay isulod na ni doc saimong likod, please ma'am please lang ma'am para di naka masakitan." HAHAHA thinking about it now, that was freaking insane and I did that! Holy molly!! After several attempts, I got used to my doctor's cold hands and she successfully put the epidural line in place.

A few minutes after that, I can feel my waist down starts numbing. I told my anesth and she confirmed that it is in fact taking effect right away, I should start feeling numb from the waist down. I can still feel a bit of pain but that should only be the pressure that comes from the contractions. She's still there, pep talking me. It really helped! We've talked a lot of things, but sorry, my laboring brain cannot recall a thing about it lol. I feel at ease with her and from my 100/10 pain scale, it's down to 4/10. Sick, right?! Why did they make me suffer like that for so many hours when I can just have this?! lol. The nurses continued putting me sideways. They turn me to the other side, idk, every 30mins? At around 4am, my doctor arrived. Finally, a familiar face! She IEd me right away, and I am already at 6cm. Thank goodness! An improvement, not a lot but at least there's something happening. I guess turning me from side to side helped. After a while, I started to feel like I'm losing the numb. I can feel all the pain and started crying again. I told my anesth that I'm feeling the pain again, she said, "Tel, everything is okay naman. Anjan parin yung epidural line. Check natin ha?" So she did, and figured that the line inserted to me is dislodged halfway. That's why the pain is back! At this point, I didn't mind much of this pain because I am already feeling alleviated just by the thought of my Ob-Gyne being here. Here's when they ask me to start pushing every time I can feel a contraction. So it started, the orchestrated pushing. 2 nurses by my left side, 1 anesth on the right and 2 OBs by my foot, they ordered me to push for 10 secs. and we're gonna do the same pushing, 3x. And OMG! That didn't even helped her move a centimeter. My Ob-Gyne started talking to RJ outside for a plan B or for worse case scenario. She's letting him know that if ever there's no improvement in the next 2 hours, we'll have to prepare for an emergency C-section considering the fhr. At this point, I'm already getting nervous, scared and in so much pain - all at the same time. I don't want to get a C-section because 1. I wanted to deliver it normally as NSD babies are proven scientifically to be more healthy growing up than c-section babies, 2. I am not mentally prepared for having a c-section, lastly, it's expensive. In between my trial pushes, my OB talks to me, gives me an update what's happening outside. I learned from her that she was able to talk to my mom over videocall. She said that my mom is worried but reassured me that they're with me, whatever my decision will be. My OB is still encouraging me to push and that I can do this via NSD. I do not have an actual problem with that since that's what I also prefer, however, I am afraid this might go south due to my cervix opening not getting an improvement at all. And also, the pain! It's really making me impatient. I just want to get over everything and rest.

2 hours, that's my deadline. If we go beyond that, we're gonna prepare for C-section. I have been crying intently at this point because of the pain. I can almost feel everything. It also added some pressure on me when I noticed I was actually facing a huge glass window and that it's almost sunrise! In my cloudy head, I said to myself, I've been here before midnight yet it's morning now and I am still stuck here, very pregnant! I'm already very tired and in pain - the pain is just so awful that I can only open my eyes halfway. I glanced at the clock, it's past 6am when they started to move rather quickly, I glanced on my right to check my baby's heart rate monitor and it's already noticeably low. I said to myself, oh, that's why they're moving now. I looked at my Anesth and she's already communicating to my OB. My OB started ordering the nurses to prepare "faster." This time, they're finally telling me my baby's heart rate is low so we need to get the baby out, ASAP. My Anesth and OB are still talking since I'm crying that I am in so much pain, I can't concentrate pushing with this kind of ache. They agreed to put me on another dose of anesthesia before pushing. I gave my consent. I glanced at what's happening around and it took me a while to contain that this is really happening, at any moment now, I'm gonna see my baby. I can still see everyone's game-face on beneath the masks they're wearing. I started to calm down knowing that they got me. My OB started commanding everyone to focus and acquainted me on pushing. "1,2,3 push and then mag count kami Tel ng 10 seconds, push for 10 secs. Repeat natin 'yan 'til lumabas si baby. Okay?" My anesth is holding my head and shoulders - an actual safe support for me while pushing.

In just two cycles of pushing, I heard, "Baby out!" and with my eyes half open, I saw them putting my baby on my chest but then taking them away quickly because she's not crying!

[theoriginalmarke]

HOLLY JOLLY THURSDAY

Kitten is still sick. She slept most of yesterday and didn't eat much. We'll see if she can ride it out or needs to go to the zoo that they call an ER here.

The shower is backing up, so we're going to have to call a plumber. It was just slow, now it isn't draining at all. Ugh.

I was up at 6:30 this morning and her mom was already up. That throws off my morning. I hate my morning getting thrown off. Oh well, it's just a minor inconvenience. You adapt and overcome.

I went shopping at an Amazon Fresh yesterday. It looks like it's main purpose is to support folks ordering their groceries online because most of the shoppers were Amazon employees. They did have a deli and food bar that didn't look bad.

Some prices are average, some a little more. But then you come across something like a 13 pound bag of Purina Naturals cat food for five bucks (the three pound bag was seven dollars). Or a bag of spinach for 68 cents. Grands biscuits for 98 cents. The bargain hunter in me was happy.

They have turnstiles at the entrance where you either scan your Amazon app or the credit card you have on file with them. At checkout scan again and that's it. It charges that card automatically. Handy, and there's a copy of my receipt on Amazon now.

When I got home I wasn't as happy. Angie the 14 year old pup barked and barked and barked. Every time I sat down, or started eating, she barked.

Once it was legitimate because she was out of water. Maybe twice because she needed to go out. The rest of the time? Mostly she wanted a second supper and/or treats. Her mom usually gives in or yells back, which to a dog is a conversation. "Oh, she's barking too! I'll bark louder."

When it's just me Angie doesn't bark. Often I can give her the stink eye and she'll put herself in timeout. I can train the dog, but I can't train her mom.

It went on for hours. I was getting angry. Getting angry doesn't help when dealing with the elderly but I was reaching my limit. I had to put myself in timeout.

She eventually wore herself out and stopped before I said really bad words or had to go sleep in the car.

I've given Kitten my recliner so she can kick back and sleep which means I'm sitting on the 30 year old couch with a board under the cushions and my whole body hurts.

And now I have a tickle in my throat and a stuffy nose and feeling all whiny and I hate feeling whiny. And the dog is barking again... I gotta go.

I love you, baby. No matter what, even when I'm being whiny and barking. MWAH!

Y'all have a holly jolly day.

[sunnyie-eve]

15 | Tickets

Series: Indispensable | Teen Wolf

Paring:  (Stiles Stilinski x OFC Martin)

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: Might be a few mistakes

| MASTERLIST |

~~~

"Go, go, go before she sees us." Julia hopes into Stiles' Jeep before he fully even came to a stop and basically was on Scott's lap as Stiles takes off before her mother could see who her ride was. "Sorry, Scott." Julia climbs into the back.

"Umm," He looks back at her confused.

"She's still not allowed to be around me." Stiles explains.

"My mom doesn't care for Stiles." Julia fixes her hair.

"Understandably."

When they get to school the guys were talking about getting tickets to the rave. "Hey. Either of you guys know why no one's getting suspended after what happened the other day at school?" Matt walks over to the three.

"Forget about it. Nobody got hurt." Stiles tells him.

"I-I had a concussion."

"Well, nobody got seriously hurt." Stiles adds.

"I was in the ER for six hours."

"Hey, do you want to know the truth, Matt? You're little bunk on the head is about this high on our list of problems right now." Stiles shows him putting his hand close to the ground.

"Ignore him. Are you okay?" Julia puts her hand up towards Stiles.

"Yeah, I'm fine now."

"That's good. And I'm sure no one got suspended since we didn't do anything." Julia gives him a smile.

"So you didn't get any tickets last night either." Matt turns towards Scott.

"Are they still selling?"

"Uh, no. But I managed it find two online. You should keep trying. Sounds like everyone's going to be there." Matt walks off.

"I don't like him." Stiles watches him.

"Me neither. I'm off. Have fun at practice." Julia leaves the two. "Oh," Julia bumps into a figure walking into the school.

"Julia," Isaac smiles.

"You showed up today. I'm proud of you." She makes him chuckle, "Now you're going to morning practice, right?"

"Yes, I am. That's where I was heading before you ran into me."

"I didn't run into you. I walked into you." She corrects him.

"You didn't even say sorry." He tilts his head.

"Oh, you don't deserve that from me." She smiles, "Now, get to practice."

"Who made you the boss of me?" Isaac steps closer to her.

"No one but I'll tell Derek a lie to get you into trouble."

"What makes you think he'll believe you over me?" Isaac leans down to her height.

"I just have this little charm." She looks him straight in the eyes.

"Yes, you do." He stands up straight walking to practice.

Putting stuff into her locker a guy she had a few classes with came up to her which confused her since people don't normally talk to her.

"Hey, Julia."

"Hi, David. How can I help you?" She eyes him.

"I have an extra ticket to the show tonight and I wanted to know if you wanted to go with?" He holds out the ticket to her.

"Really? You're asking me?" She was taken back.

"Yeah, do you not want to go?"

"No, I do. It's just. Why me? I mean? I'm the odd Martin sister. Everyone knows that. You've even said it before." She lets him know.

"Yes, I have but I always prefer you over Lydia still. She said my brother was hotter than me and we're twins. The way she could tell us apart was I'm had ache scars, and wore glasses. Not to mention slightly heftier. And not because of muscles." He explains to her.

"Yeah, I'll go with." She takes the ticket from him, "Thank you. Umm, I'll meet you there. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. Totally." He walks off with a smile.

When class with Stiles and Scott came around she show the boys her ticket, "How did you get one? We got ours thanks to Isaac." Scott turns to face her.

"Well, Isaac beat two guys up for the tickets stealing them to give to us." Stiles makes it clear.

"David Young, he asked if I wanted to go with him so I said yes."

"Wait, someone asked you to go with them? You didn't buy or steal a ticket?" Stiles leans forward in his seat towards hers next to him.

"Yeah, I was shocked and confused too." She laughs feeling good how she was actually seen by someone.

"You're actually going with someone?"

"Yes, Stiles but I'm still going to help with the plan. I'll make up an excuse to sneak off at times." She takes out her journal for class.

"David Young... The not attractive Young twin?" Stiles asks making her huff.

"He's identical to his identical twin brother... He just has glasses and some light scares. It's not that big of a difference." She defends the guy.

"Okay, but why ask you of all people?" Stiles says not thinking his words through.

"Excuse me?" She looks at him.

"Stiles," Scott turns around to look at him.

"What? It's true and suspicious. I'd get Lydia but you?"

"Do you care to explain?" Julia glares at him and Scott knew Stiles fucked up and pissed her off without realizing.

"Stiles, stop talking." Scott gives him a look.

"I'm just suspicious. What if he's the one controlling Jackson?"

"You didn't answer my question, Stiles. You'd get him asking Lydia but not me. Why because she's the popular one? Everyone likes her? She's the hotter Martin sister?" Julia lists and Stiles finally realizes how he was sounding so he freezes. "Wow, you're an asshole. Some friend you are Stiles." Julia packs her bag leaving the room ignoring the teacher as he walked in.

"Dude!" Scott eyes Stiles.

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just..." Stiles was lost for words.

"I know the truth because I smelt it as soon as she said he asked if she wanted to go with him so she said yes." Scott tells him.

"I'm not jealous in that way though." Stiles drops his head onto his desk.

Meanwhile out in the halls, Julia was pissed off at Stiles so she was just gonna skip school and head home for the day. She didn't want to see him or hear him for awhile.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Isaac asks leaning against his locker.

"Aren't you?" She keeps walking so he follows her. "What do you want, Isaac? As you can tell I'm not in the mood."

"I know, I smelled you coming down the hall. Not just by you angry but also you're the only person in this school that smells like a sweet vanilla cupcake."

"I'm not in the mood. I'm going home." She looks T him for a brief second.

"Why are you mad?" He follows her outside.

"Why do you care? Just leave me alone. I like being alone. I miss being alone!" Julia snaps tearing up.

"Julia..."

"I just want to go home." She cries to him.

"Okay, let's get you home then." He puts an arms around her the they walk away from the school.

Arriving at her house she lets him in and he continues to walk her all the way to her room. As soon as her was in she falls face down onto her bed crying not caring Isaac was still in the room.

Isaac walks over sitting down on the bed rubbing her back feeling bad since he could sense how sad she was at the moment. Plus he kinda knew her when he was just a loser and she was a loner.

"Wanna talk now?" He asks her so she sits up looking at him with mascara running down her cheeks.

"Stiles was being an asshole."

"What did he say or do?" He wipes her tears away.

"He shocked David Young asked me to go to the show with him since he had an extra ticket. I said yes and Stiles couldn't grasp the concept of him asking me. Which lead to him saying he gets Lydia but why me. And he keep repeating it over and over. So I listed it it because she's the popular one? Everyone likes her? She's the hotter sister?"

"He's stupid, Julia. He doesn't think before he speaks. Yeah, you're the less popular one but that doesn't mean shit. Hell technically, you are popular in some way because everyone knows your the odd sister. Yeah, it's not entirely good but everyone still knows you." Isaac explains to her.

"Not really helping." She sighs.

"Julia, I'm not surprised someone asked you. You aren't ugly. And not everyone thinks of you in a negative way. Erica never did because you were nice to her. Obviously David never did since he asked you to go with him. I know I never did. I liked you way more than Lydia, and I still do. Especially seeing you open up more, but I'm not gonna lie... I kinda miss the stuttering embarrassed girl who couldn't shut up when she bumped into me. Now all I get is sassy remarks with glares and eye rolls."

"Hey, that last part is all on you, buddy. You went from this nice shy guy I liked to an stuck up prick because of a bite." She gets up to wipe the makeup off her face.

"You liked me?" Isaac walks toward her bathroom.

"As you were a good guy, yeah." She laughs.

"Yeah, but you also had a small crush on me didn't you? I'm listening to your heartbeat." Isaac gets a big smile.

"Thank you for walking me home and asking me what was wrong but you can go now. I'm good." Julia turns to face him but he walks closer to her.

"I liked you too."

"Isaac," Julia leans back as he leans down till their lips meet.

~

For the party Julia hated that Stiles was still her ride so when he picks her up with Stiles all three of them didn't mutter a single word.

"I gotta go find David and umm you can catch me up on the plan in a bit." Julia walks away going inside.

It was hard for her to find him since he was waiting at the entrance for her, "You made it." He smiles.

"Of course."

He leads the way for them and Julia felt uncomfortable in the setting since she'd rather be home. As they chat she sees Isaac go over to Scott so she excuses herself.

"So can someone tell me the plan, please?"

"Stiles is putting the mountain ash around the building to trap Jackson. Isaac is going to use ketamine on Jackson. Just keep an eye out." Scott walks away.

"How are you ditching your date when it's time?" Isaac asks Julia.

"He's not really my date and I'll figure it out. I'll just make sure to keep an eye on you so I'll know when. Good luck." Julia goes back over to David.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just catching up on something." Julia smiles and makes sure to keep an eye on Isaac as they chat. Halfway through their conversation David leans in to kiss Julia making her step away from him. "Umm,"

"Sorry, I thought we were..."

"Were what? David, we barely know each other." Julia looks at him for a brief second losing sight of Isaac. "Shit." Her eyes scan to crowd.

"There something more important going on?"

"Kinda. I'm sorry but I have to find someone to make sure they're okay." Julia tries to leave but he grabs her wrist. "Let go of me." She tugs her wrist free going into the crowd finding Erica on the floor. "What the hell?" She helps stand her up.

"Jackson." She groans, "I need to heal faster."

"What am I supposed to do? I can't break your arm like Derek."

"Break a finger then. I don't care." Erica as so Julia does so causing her to hiss in pain. "Okay, I'm good."

They find Isaac with Jackson so they help him take Jackson away. "Now what?" Isaac asks.

"I don't know." Julia as the door opens and Stiles comes in startling them.

"Just me. It's just me. Don't freak. Is he okay?" Stiles asks.

"Well... let's find out." Isaac makes his claws come out to slash Jackson but his arm raises grabbing Isaac.

"Okay, no one does anything like that again, okay? Stiles looks at everyone.

"I thought the ketamine was supposed to put him out." Isaac grains in pain.

"Yeah, well, apparently this is all we're going to get. So let's hope whoever's controlling him just decided to show up tonight."

"I'm here." Jackson starts to speak. "I'm right here with you."

"Jackson is that you?" Stiles go over to him.

"Us. We're all here."

"Are you the one killing people?" Stiles asks.

"We are the ones killing murderers."

"So all the people you've killed so far," Stiles gets cut off.

"Deserved it."

"So we got a little rule book that says you only go after murderers." Stiles tells him.

"Anything can break if enough pressure's applied."

"All right, so the people you're killing are all murderers then?" Stiles tries to get to the bottom.

"All. Each. Every one."

"Well, who did the murder?" He asks.

"Me. They murdered me. They murdered me." Jackson starts to turn.

"Stiles get back here, please." Julia snaps her fingers at him so he goes back to the group.

"Okay, all right. More ketamine. The man needs more ketamine. Come on." Stiles tells Isaac as Jackson starts to move.

"We don't have any more." Isaac shows him.

"You used the whole bottle?" Stiles loos at him while the girls watch Jackson so Julia taps on Stiles to look at him standing up.

Jackson snarls and everyone rushes out leaning against the door but Jackson just bust out the side. "We gotta find him before he kills." Julia rushes away.

"Julia!" Stiles and Isaac shout at  the same time so Stiles looks at him before running after her.

He only knew where to find her because she let out a scream making people around her look at her like she was crazy. "I can't find him and it's too late. She dead." Julia tells Stiles as finds her.

"Let's get out of here." He leans them out and Derek shows up so he tells him they lost Jackson and he see the mountain ash was working keeping Isaac and Erica in.

"Scott."

"What?" They both look at him.

"Break it."

"What? No way." Stiles tells him.

"Scott's dying!"

"How do you know that?" Stiles asks as Julia leans down to break the barrier.

"I just know!"

"Go!" Julia looks back at Derek so he runs in. "I get we needed it for Jackson but it's Scott." Julia stands up.

"I get it. Let's get you home."

"What about Scott? Derek said he was dying." Julia points in the direction he went.

"I trust Derek within this one. There's nothing I could really do. I'm just me. He'll take him to Deaton."

When Stiles gets to her place she gets out and he watches her walk some before getting out, "Julia, I'm sorry about earlier today." He says making her stop to face him, "I didn't mean for it to sound the way it came out. Honestly, I was just jealous. I started thinking about the future getting scared that you would slowly drift away from us if you had other people in your life. I understand that seems a bit selfish not wanting you to have any other friends then us."

Julia walks towards him, "I would never drift off from you guys. Stiles, you guys get me. You, get me. I personally don't think I can find any better friends than you two. You guys are very unique."

"I'm so sorry for making you feel terrible and less than Lydia when I know how you feel deep down about that crap. I only realize how it sounded when it was too late to shut up."

"I forgive you, Stiles." She gives him a smile, "Goodnight." She turns to walk away but he pulls her into a hug.

"Next time I start to say stupid things just cover my mouth please. I hate upsetting you." He says into the hug so she hugs him back.

"Will do."

"Night," He waves to her.

[petalsoffarose]

September 4th

Where to even fucking start.

We went to see the movie, you said you liked it. Liked it so much you would see it again. That pissed me off so much. I cried on the car ride home. You noticed but I just said nothing was wrong and acted like you were crazy.

I don't know if I wrote about it but I sat with you while you got your car serviced. Absolute definition of girlfriend shit.

We moved onto campus and of course we've spent more nights together than we have apart. One day you were walking with [Redacted] I went out of my way to say hi to him. Later you asked me if I was mad at you because I seemed excited to say hi to him and looked uninterestedly at you. We probably were in the same bed at the end of that night.

Then move in came and all of your friends, including the ones you say aren't, were back on campus. Of course your favorite coworker of mine came back and told me they were talking about us. How they all assume we broke up because we aren't following each other on instagram anymore. I was pissed, I was so upset. I texted you and told you that i hated your fucking friends. You were at a tournament but you called me on your way home to talk about it. We both just said how frustrating it is. I don't really remember if I spoke my mind, because I just usually don't see how that's fair or relevant anymore. I just feel like a failure. I wasn't told names but it wasn't hard to figure out what three it was. Everyone else knew we broke up besides those three. What bothered us the most is that there had to of been a conversation. We never posted each other for our relationship to suddenly disappear and people wonder why. We didn't pass them and ignore each other for something to seem off. They had to of been hoping for it and that made them search who we were following on instagram. Any way, we hung up and that was that- I thought.

You went to her wedding the next day. That's whatever. Hurt, beyond fucking hurt but everyone else went. The group of like 8 of you so I wasn't as mad. It wasn't just you and in some twisted way that made it okay.

You forgot what I asked for, for my birthday. Once I reminded you, you happily obliged.

Classes started and we did that, the whole school thing we are here for. Wednesday you woke up at 4 in the morning very sick. Doubled over coughing and having a tight chest. I was the doting girlfriend- ex girlfriend. Rubbed your back, made tea, asked if you wanted to go to the ER or wait for the urgent care. Made you call your mom, which you accidently let slip that I was somehow giving you advice at the early hours of the morning. You decided to wait so we talked about our days, which ended up being a mistake.

You told me about how [Redacted] came up to you at your job. Said she missed you and how you haven't talked all summer. Then said she knew we broke up and wanted to know what happened. In the same fucking conversation of her trying to say how she missed you as a friend she just so happened to slide in the fact that she knew about the relationship she never supported ended. You just wanted a conversation. We were cuddled up and it was now quiet in the dark hours of the morning but I threw my hands up in frustration. In return I got "You aren't allowed to be frustrated, I'm dying."

I sat at the urgent care with you, absolute definition of girlfriend shit. Nobody knows I did besides my friends from back home. Just as our relationship was a secret, so is our friendship- and it sucks. And I've written that it sucks a bunch now.

Thursday I went to the football game, somehow the words of me being frustrated floated to you. Just how in the case of your friends about how I feel helpless, like I can't do anything right. When we dated they hated me and our relationship. We were a conversation topic. We aren't dating, they hate me and we are a conversation topic. You said something along the lines of we know what we're doing, a phrase I had told you a couple of days prior and to ignore the noise. It's hard to ignore the noise when it just makes you feel like a failure.

I wish I never dated you, dated you in general or publicly. Last summer was great, we were in love and nobody knew otherwise. This summer was detrimental on my mental health but we were happy when we were together and that's what matters right. Thing's are so fucking simple when your friends aren't involved. I still blame them for part of our break up.

I know how flimsy it is to write I hate being a secret and then seemingly write that I wish we dated in secret. That's not that I'm saying. I'm saying private but not a secret. I just don't think you know the difference. You friends sure as hell don't know the difference between what is there business and what isn't.

Regardless- you don't want a relationship, we aren't dating, I'm not even sure if I want you anymore at this point.

[vulpine111]

The content of this post is probably triggering to some people.

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I've been in contact with Rasheed despite the ways he's repeatedly hurt me, by the way. I unblocked him to discuss Robert's death. I understand I'm not ready to be with someone who actually cares until I fully release Rasheed, though. I don't know what to do about him. If I want the cord cutting spells I did to work, I need to actually cut him off for good.

I had to send him $20 this morning because he claimed to need a ride to go get his "antipsychotic medication" that he left with a friend. He disclosed he's been self harming. I told him with this knowledge, it's my responsibility to get him to an ER to be evaluated but he claims his mom already helped him clean up.

It's not necessarily abusive to talk about hurting yourself, wanting to die, etc. but waking up to this was stressful. His life is more important to me than any amount of money but I keep praying he get his own money in a way that doesn't involve begging/manipulation. My meager stipend isn't a lot to live off. That's part of why I was told not to marry him. It wouldn't be a fiscally sound decision.

Helix is recovering from a legit (and kinda recent) unalive attempt right now. I am a survivor of such attempts too. I'm not sure how I feel. I'm not exactly angry. I understand the holidays are hard for everyone.

I almost want to call Rasheed's mom but I don't want to ruin her Christmas. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me. It would also be an act of betrayal to show her the conversation. Oliver has leaked unalive threats to my dad in the past and all it did was make my home life more uncomfortable and give my dad a power fix.

I don't know what to tell her. "Your son needs professional help. Send him back to rehab please. I would call an ambulance today."

.....like, duh???

Those places don't scoop people up and fix them. It doesn't work like that. He has to actually want help. Not just run from things.

Besides, inpatient treatment can further traumatize him. Especially if it's against his own accord. Not to mention all the germs that he'd be exposed to in the process.

I hope he gets through this.

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

[killhimjustkillhim]

AITA for not picking up my s/o up from the ER?

I am a (34) f and my s/o (30) m have been together for years and got into a fight last night.. Earlier last month I got covid to which 5 days later got a double ear infection and then a week later got bronchitis to which I was severely sick and am still recovering from. During this time I tried to work remotely with my job and ended up having to take 4 days off to rest. I am now back at work by this time I found out I was pregnant with our first (my 3rd from a previous relationship). For the last year our oldest who is trans has tried to harm themselves to which I have gotten him help which I've had to take time off work and even had been late at times due to him having rough mornings. My work has been supportive and is a 4:45a-1p shift. During my lunchbreak I take the kids to school. This last week I almost got written up (was given a warning) due to our oldest not being ready in time and I was late for a patient and am a AODA counselor. I told my family I couldn't do this to my anymore and had to be careful. This last week, my best friend I haven't seen in 5 years and lives out of the country has been staying with us. I've been cooking, cleaning, doing errands, all while having the worst morning sickness I've ever had. I am puking 5-6 hrs a day. This last Thursday my family cooked, but left me a huge pile of dishes to do for "the next day" since our rule is whoever doesn't cook has to do dishes, which my best friend did to give me a break. My pregnancy has also caused me severe fatigue, and I still have bronchitis. My best friend has been amazing and stepping in to take care of me while I have been like this. Last night was the first night we would be able to be alone without kids or my S/O in the house. Well he called stating he was passing a kidney stone, puked, almost lost consciousness and couldn't drive. He was 45 minutes away, me and my best friend got in the car and I drove to him, left his car which I will pick up tomorrow and drove him back to our hometown (since he wanted to be at that hospital). All while being nauseous and sometimes throwing up in my mouth, but needing to get him to the hospital I didn't stop. We drop him off at the hospital, my friend ordered me and paid for some light stomach food since I didn't eat all day my diet has been crackers, raw veggies, and water to which right after when I was in the store next to the restaurant to buy juice for some ginger so I don't keep puking he calls stating "The walk-in won't accept me please take me to the ER". We go to pick him up, pick up the food that is done, and the juice which was on the way and took 5 minutes and take him to the ER. I tell my s/o since the entire night is gone and the ER can take hours. I can pay for a cab, but won't be able to get him since I have to wake up early for my work, have supervision right away in the morning, and am already on thin ice. The hospital is 5-10 minutes away. He didn't even respond, slammed the car door, and went into the ER. I called him, he did not answer. At that point I was upset and messaged him telling him I was upset. When I got home, I ate and went to bed which my best friend understood and was supportive. Well, my s/o got out 2 hours later. Messaged me about how he was upset that he wasn't the main priority and how I left him there. He got a ride from his parents and told me at 2:00a in the morning when I woke up to take our new puppy to the bathroom that he was still pissed at me and his mom thought it was messed up that I left him there. I snapped, I'm now sleeping on our spare mattress, and don't want to talk to him since when I snapped he told me "I was petty" and that he would never abandon me at a hospital. So my question is... Am I the asshole?

[kexkiji]

My love

Chapter one

Chapter two>>

Contents: fem!reader x vampire!Shoto, violence(?)

•

•

•

You could feel rough planks of wood driving splinters into the soles of your feet. You tried your best to keep from moving in fear that yet another loose splinter of wood be driven into your foot. Oh, how you got onto this human auctioning stand is a long story...

•

•

•

•

"Y/n! They've arrived!"

Your mother gently called from the dining room window. It was a partly cloudy day in early spring- and early morning at that.

"Coming!" You shouted in return, giving one last glance at yourself in the mirror. You’d received an offer just days ago from the Todoroki family to serve them in aiding them with your blood. You’d gladly accepted in return for good housing and pay (ten gold pieces a day… worth it).

"Oh, I’m going to miss you," your mother dragged you into a hug and placed a kiss on your forehead.

"Write to me? Please?" You nodded.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I? I'm going to miss you too." You gave your mom a smile and a hug before heading out the door. The stagecoach opened the door to the carriage. Once inside your eyes widened at the fine silk cushions you were sitting on.

‘Should I be in here? Everything is so nice I don't want to ruin it...’ you thought to yourself.

And the ride began. It was a bit bumpy due to the country road’s unevenness but the soft cushioned seats made up for it. You’d found it slightly odd no one had come to join you on your ride back. Perhaps the Todoroki’s were far too busy to accompany you.

•

•

•

•

After a bit of time, the carriage came to a very abrupt stop. You were thrown forward with a start.

“What in the-,”

You could hear a scream come from the driver before it was quickly cut off. You froze, holding your breath immediately, unsure of what was going on outside the walls of the carriage. Suddenly- and quite aggressively- the door was ripped open. You jumped back in surprise, leaning against the opposite wall.

"OH! That's a nice-looking one! Grab her!" A rough voice called from behind the man in the doorway.

"My, you do look nice...oh a human too..." The man stepped into the carriage and gripped your wrist.

“Get off of me!” You have a harsh yank to your arm in an attempt to free it. This upset the man- as he quickly tugged you out of the carriage. You shouted as you fell forward… and just as you were about to let out a scream for help- thud

There was a pain at the back of your head…and… it was getting blurry… were there two men…? Four…? Eight…?

And then darkness as your vision went black.

•

•

•

•

Once you awoke you were being pulled up onto a small rickety wood stand, the clothes you’d been wearing replaced with some cheap fabric that smelled horrible, like mildew. You figured these men- whoever they were- had taken your other clothes to hide your status. Not that you’d had much, but being the daughter of a decently wealthy farming family did present you the opportunity of more luxurious items. Your hands had been bound behind you with the roughest ropes you’d probably ever felt and the man holding your shoulders jostled you every time he spoke.

"Ohh she's a nice one!! Gave us a bit of a struggle when we got 'er!" Your jaw clenched.

"A human too! Blood's great! Had some for myself a bit ago!" He yelled to the crowd. Your lips quivered a bit at the idea of the man taking blood from you while you were unconscious.

"Alright! The bids start at three coins!"

"Ten!" A voice called out from the ragged crowd.

"Fifteen"

“Thirty!" Your heart began to pound. You’d heard of human auctions but never in your life did you think you’d be in one. The realization of the moment was setting in as you looked around the crowd and noticed just how much these people looked at you the same way a hungry person looks at a plate of food.

“Anything higher than thirty?”

“Forty-five!” The crowd grumbled at this as their chance was taken by someone who had more money than them. The man behind you was smiling greedily.

“Anything higher than forty-five?” Everyone began whispering for a good while as they pondered if you were really worth all that money.

"Two hundred." The voice that called out was… to put it frankly, cleaner sounding than the rest. A certain air to it, a ring that was more profound and eloquent. The crowd went silent. Heads turned to the hooded figure nearing the front of the pedestal.

"S-Sold!" The man who was holding you held out his hand to receive the bag of coins. A pale hand reached out from the cloak to drop the bag into his hands. The man snickered greedily at the bag and shoved you off the pedestal. The cloaked figure's arms stretched out to catch you before your knees could make contact with the harsh cobblestone ground.

"Mph-" your face planted into your buyer's chest. Inhaling, you caught a whiff of a gentle perfume, quite expensive.

"I apologize, but we must go quickly." He whispered to you, cutting your bindings and guiding you out of the crowd and through the village till the both of you were at a road.

"Are you going to kill me?" You asked softly as to not upset him, hoping that would lengthen your lifespan just a bit. He pulled the cloak off of himself and shook his head 'no' as he slid it onto you.

Your eyes went wide. He stood out, no wonder he wore the cloak in the crowd. His two-toned hair would've attracted too much attention, not to mention his attire. He was wealthy, you knew that for sure.

"Again, I apologize for the circumstances." He said, ushering you to follow him. You followed. You didn't want to, but you did. Anxiety had started to build. The Todorokis were expecting you… if you never arrived would they grow angry?

•

•

"Shoto! There you are!" You looked up, the two of you were standing in the gates of a large mansion. The gate looked old but well kept and the building far behind it looked equally as old but equally as well kept. A young woman with white hair and streaks of red came running up to the man beside you and hugged him. Once she let go of him her eyes traveled over to you.

"Oh, you found her!!" Her arms wrapped around you in a polite manner.

"Thank god! We got worried when you didn't arrive for an hour, Shoto left against fathers orders and went looking for you." She pulled away from the hug to look at you. You looked at her in confusion.

"Wait-"

"Oh, I'm so sorry for not introducing myself! I'm Fuyumi Todoroki and this is my brother, Shoto." She said, gesturing to the man who'd paid for you.

"Where's Natsuo?" Shoto asked Fuyumi.

"Oh, he's... trying to calm down father. When he heard you'd left against his orders he got quite...angered." She laughed nervously. Shoto sighed in annoyance as he walked towards the doors of the mansion.

"Here, let's get you cleaned up and in something that smells a little less...smelly." Fuyumi linked an arm with you and brought you inside.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

tuxedo iii, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of previous jungkook x reader

summary: It’s the next morning. Your cat is still a man. Fuck. He still thinks he owns the place, including you. Sigh. Well, you still have to do your job, because, yikes, your cat-man has spent a small fortune on new clothes (spending like he’s got a black card, what’s up with that?). Ah, but... maybe both of you are starting to finally acknowledge that he might be a more man than cat – at least for the time being...?

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of the coronavirus pandemic; possibly full-on crack; mentions of and a tiny bit of smut (fem reader, spanking, doggy, unintentional??? voyeurism, dry humping / thigh riding); domestic and soft moments with your cat-man; non-idol!AU - cat!Yoongi x human!reader; ft slightly cocky Jeon Jungkook (+drama!!!) and bestfriend!Kim Seokjin; breaking of the fourth wall; are YOU a furry? yeah, I kinda think you are

*deep breath* I reference a certain boat that was stuck in the Suez Canal, Yoongi's livestream where he poked himself in the nose with the coffee straw, his love for tangerines, too many Twitch chat memes, that time his mom called him a boiled dumpling, 'BST' pink pajama Yoongi, DTS, TXT's 'Cat & Dog', etc...

–

part i | part ii

-

You woke up slowly. 

A perfect, peaceful morning. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Neck cradled by your memory foam pillow? Check. Back well supported by your soft mattress? Check. Not sleeping on your sofa and destroying your spine? Check. Hey, you’re moving up in life! Ah, what a normal day already. You opened your eyes a crack; vision blurred from the morning sunlight filtering through your curtains. Bundled in your minty-green duvet? Check. Wearing your extra soft black-and-white striped pajamas? Check. 

Large pale human hand firmly gripping your right titty? Check. 

Wait… 

What?

Your eyes snapped open and flew to your left. 

Min Yoongi's face was centimeters from yours, buried into your pillow, messy bedhead sticking out everywhere. Black choker with the tiny silver bell around his neck. Still had those black velvety pointed cat ears and glowing pale skin, pretty pink lips ever-so-slightly upturned, warm exhale against your ear. 

Your cat still a disturbingly handsome man?

Ah, yup, check. 

His hand was on your right breast, fingers molded to the soft curve. A quick glance and, whew, he was still fully dressed in his black t-shirt and sweatpants from yesterday. Yes, fully, completely dressed. Shit, what if he caught you staring? You quickly flickered your eyes up at the ceiling, hastily wiping the drool away from your mouth. Whoa there. That would be embarrassing if he caught that.

Also, kind of gross. Don’t be gross. Keep it together.

Hahaha…

Well, yup, this was still awkward, the whole hand-on-the-titty thing, hahaha, but not as awkward as it would be if, hahaha, you accidentally, oh, don't know, hahaha, got really, really, really disgustingly drunk and, hahaha, had somehow lost all impulse control and, hahaha, fucked your cat?

Man.

Cat-man. 

Hahaha, that would never happen. You’d make sure of that.

... 

Unless?

No, no, no, stop, he's your cat, your cat, he's literally been a (cat) man for one fucking day, albeit a incredibly hot, deliciously built (cat) man who put your facial massager on your nipple and let you touch his human dick in the shower and he was hard for a hot second, so... no, no, no, stop, you are not a desperate thot, get a fucking grip – well, you kind of are – but not him, for fuck’s sake, you still don't understand what the fuck is going on or if he even remotely likes you and, let's face it, he probably doesn’t because you almost paid a guy to chop off his nuts–

"Are you dying?"

You choked on air and lurched sharply at the sudden deep, raspy voice. The grip on your right breast tightened, preventing you from moving away. You did what any sensible human being would do in this situation and wheezed like you were on the verge of passing out. 

"Urk!"

"Do you have high blood pressure?" Yoongi yawned calmly, turning his face to the side to avoid breathing in your face, thereby pressing his body even closer to you. Your neck and ears heated to five billion degrees. "Your heart's beating abnormally fast. Maybe you should see a doctor."

You definitely needed to see a doctor for something as well as several gallons of holy water and a priest to get an exorcism for that horny demon inside you. 

"Y-Your hand!"

Yoongi grunted. "What about it?"

What about it???

"It's on my tits!" you squeaked.

Yoongi lifted his head, squinting. "It is." Then his head dropped and he closed his eyes again. 

HELLO, Min Yoongi? That's ALL you have to say???

"Is there a problem?"

IS THERE A PROBLEM???????

"I've always slept like this," he mumbled.

That's... true though. Your tuxedo cat, previously named Shooky until you realized he had his own name, did used to always sleep next to you, when he wasn’t trying to murder you by sitting on your chest, that is (he was adamant on letting you know when he needed breakfast). Usually, your cat was splayed out by your left side, his long body extended and pressed against you, his white, sock-like paws encircling your arm. Shooky had basically been a small furry heater that kicked you sometimes in his sleep. 

Keyword: small.

"Y-You w-were a cat!" you sputtered.

"I'm still a cat."

"No, you're a man! With arms!"

"The reach is a little farther. Who cares?"

WHO CARES???????

Before you could very loudly inform Yoongi who exactly cared – that’s you, by the way, yes, you – he wrapped his arms around you and yanked your body to his, turning you into a red-hot chili pepper with the amount of heat your face was now emitting. Then his free hand grabbed your other titty. Without asking! Without even so much as buying you dinner or, hell, giving you a goddamn cracker! You didn't need to be wined and dined, but at least a single fucking snack before using your tits like his own personal stress ball!

Yoongi pressed your back into his chest.

You froze. 

He pressed his crotch into your ass, shivering slightly.

Your soul left your body. 

"Ugh, this human body is terrible," Yoongi muttered. "Always so cold. I need this extra body heat or I'll die."

You'll die? YOU’LL DIE?

You were pretty sure that you were already dead. Rest in peace.

Hang on. 

Something was stuck in a very specific place, quite similar to a far-too-large boat in a narrow canal.

"Um."

Er...

"What?" your cat-man grunted.

"Your..." You gulped. "Dick."

"What about it?"

"You, uh... have morning wood."

"Is that a human euphemism?" he grumbled impatiently, clear annoyance in his tone. "I don't understand your species. Wouldn't it be easier to be straightforward and explain yourself clearly?"

A muscle in your eye twitched, reaching breaking point.

"Your dick is rock-hard and you're shoving it between my ass cheeks!"

"Yeah, so? It's cold too."

Your irritation fizzled out at Yoongi’s self-assured, completely calm response. In fact, he sounded borderline bored and exasperated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His hard dick was cold, so he put it in the warmest place he could find, your ass, duh. Nothing weird about it, of course. Your mind reeled, unable to compute what the fuck was going on. Thus, your body did what it did best in these moments where you did not want to give a response that would most certainly expose you and your dire need to get dicked.

Not deal with it, of course.

You fainted.

-

"Fuck!"

You shot out of bed at the harsh yell, tangled in the covers, barely registering that Yoongi no longer had a death grip on your tits – in fact, he was no longer in bed at all – and stumbled towards the source of the sound, highly disoriented, your earlier fainting spell turning you into a bumbling mess.

Admittedly, not that different from your usual self.

(Ouch, roasted.)

"What, what, what?" you croaked, running into the doorframe of the bedroom and nearly taking yourself out. 

Might as well, maybe it would have been a blessing in disguise, considering the way your life was going. 

You finally tumbled your way to the kitchen, where your cat-man was hissing at the pan on the stove. 

"I was trying to make eggs," Yoongi spat, pointing accusingly at the frying pan. His ears were flat and his tail was sticking straight up. "And then it attacked me."

If you had three functioning brain cells, you would have remembered Yoongi putting his morning wood between your ass cheeks this morning, but alas, you only had two at the moment – you did run into the doorframe, might have lost one there – so instead you nudged him aside and rolled up your sleeves, taking the pan and shaking it so the eggs wouldn't burn. 

"Was it the oil? Sometimes it pops," you asked as Yoongi continued death glaring at the pan.

"I saw you doing this yesterday. You didn't seem bothered," he mumbled, finishing with a low, angry hiss as if the pan was sentient and mocking him. The oil popped and seared your forearm, but at this point you maybe had five hair follicles total on your arms with how many times hot oil had splattered in you. It used to bother you when you were a kid, but years of cooking had desensitized the feeling, turning it to nothing more than a mere annoyance. Yoongi stayed behind you, intermittently letting out hisses of rage as you cooked.

"I told you, my dad's a chef. You get used to it," you said, tipping the pan and flipping the thin egg pancake with ease. 

"That's bizarre," Yoongi muttered. "No normal animal gets used to pain."

Normality was starting to become a bit of a foreign concept to you.  As for being an animal, well…

You took the pan off the heat and rolled the egg onto a plate with a spare set of chopsticks, turning it into a log shape. A literal egg roll, ready to be sliced into bite-sized pieces. You took a sniff. It seemed to be seasoned already. Had Yoongi simply copied what you did yesterday? His observation skills were insane.

"Then again, you seem to enjoy–"

"Yoongi," you blurted, not wanting to know what he thought you seemed to enjoy, but very sure it was going to be one-hundred-percent embarrassing and only for you. "There's some leftover beef and vegetables in the fridge you can have with the egg and rice."

He raised his eyebrows. "Beef? Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Because I was asleep and maybe half-dead? "Did you brush your teeth?' you asked suddenly. 

Yoongi scowled. "Unfortunately."

"Right, so should I, goodbye now."

You marched away hurriedly, trying not to think about how your cat had surely witnessed you getting spanked while being fucked from behind by none other than, surprise, surprise, his not-so-favorite human being, Jeon Jungkook. Tattoo guy strikes again. The worst part was, you couldn't lock the door on your cat either, because then he would meow incessantly while you were getting deep-dicked and that was even worse. 

"Your cat really likes you, huh?" Jungkook mused as you yanked open the bedroom door to the black-and-white tuxedo furball. 

"Like is a strong word," you muttered at your cat, who yawned and sauntered past you to his cat tree, acting like he owned the damn place. 

"I like you."

"Hah... wait, what?"

Jungkook grinned as your eyes found his. Took a while. You were a little distracted by his nakedness. His tattoos up his right arm. His tan skin. His muscles. His white teeth biting on his lower lip, tiny mole underneath flashing. His long black hair, framing dark chocolate eyes and teasing, cocked eyebrow. 

"I like you," he repeated, voice deep and sexy.

You turned red and made the most coherent noise you could. 

“... Urk?”

“Noona.”

Why did he look so fucking hot and disrespectful at the same time when saying an honorific?

Jungkook came up to you, hand cupping your head and tangling his fingers in your hair. He brought his face close to yours, lips brushing against your swollen ones, taking your breath away.

"Wanna go back to me spanking you while you get off on my dick?"

Respectfully, of course. 

"How much rice do you want?"

You started, poking yourself in the nose with your toothpaste-covered toothbrush and smearing mint up your nostril – almost as bad as poking a coffee straw up your nose during a livestream in front of millions of people, yikes – as Yoongi appeared behind you, breaking you out of the memory. Your cat-man watched you with mild disgust and displeasure as you coughed and dunked your head into the sink, hurriedly rinsing off your burning nose.

"Whatever, I'll just fill it halfway."

And he left you sputtering, pajamas and hair soaking wet in your haste.

Awesome. 

-

“I’m ordering some groceries,” you announced in between bites of rice and egg. You tapped lightly at the phone screen as you spoke. Green onions, tofu, cucumbers… “Do you want anything?”

“Meat.”

You swiped rapidly and added packages of chicken, pork, and beef into your cart. Why the fuck not? You like meat. All kinds of–

“Yes, Yoongi, I’m getting meat. Anything else?”

“What else is there?”

You made a face and handed him your phone. “All sorts of things. Household products too, in case you don’t want to smell like my soap.”

“Your soap is preferable,” he said absentmindedly, scrolling through the online grocery app. You continued eating, shoving things in your mouth and none of it dick. Sad. At least it tasted good. Your cat-man had seasoned the egg well. You jumped as Yoongi spoke again. “I want these.” He turned the phone around.

You squinted at the screen, staring at a picture of orange balls. “Tangerines? Why?”

He turned the phone back to him. “They’re small, round, and look tasty.”

You blinked at him, then shrugged. “Sure, why not? I guess your palette might have changed. Try whatever you want.”

He pursed his lips and pressed a few buttons as you ate. You realized you needed to order more groceries now that your cat was a man eating your human food and no longer a cat eating his rather expensive cat food. Sigh. You had put Shooky’s cat bowls in a cabinet earlier this morning before sitting down to eat. It seemed weird leaving them out on the floor like that. Kind of offensive, maybe, now that your cat was a man and all…

“Okay, I ordered it.”

“Ah, okay, that’s good. They’ll probably come later this week.”

-

After breakfast, you spent nearly half an hour with Yoongi trying to pick out something for him to watch from your various streaming services, only for him to select a historical drama series. Like what? You cat (man) wanted to watch historical drama out of all things? Instead of learning about the modern world, he wanted to watch a depiction of the past?

Whatever, it had seventy-seven episodes, so at least he would be occupied for a while.

You let him be and went to your computer, intending on getting some editing done. Sure, the universe decided your cat was a man now, but you still needed to pay for said cat-man’s existence. You still didn’t know what you were going do to with all that cat food, cat toys, cat tree… ugh, this was all a problem for future you, not present you.

Present you needed to splice five-hundred images of PepeHands together and overlay it over a League of Legends one-shot compilation.

Uh, so, it was this meme of a green frog named Pepe holding up his anthropomorphic hands in despair, therefore coining the term PepeHands for a particular Twitch chat emote… never mind, it just meant you were spending some time video editing for a gaming YouTuber and it required concentration, shitty memes, and well-timed captions. And you were getting paid good money to do this.

Yeah, it’s a weird world.

You sat at your desktop and got to work, doing the rough cuts of the video first. Thankfully, the YouTuber had already sent you the timestamps of the noteworthy moments, therefore making your job a lot easier. You spent several hours compiling the clips before adding your extra flair and effects. You had a library of images and sound bites that you commonly used (including Goofy singing Evanescence's ‘Bring Me to Life’) and was in the middle of grayscaling a video clip and adding the familiar audio of all around me are familiar faces before being scared shitless.

“Woof.”

You swore someone was singing ‘Mad World’ as they were narrating your life right now.

“Gah!”

You jerked in your seat to see Yoongi leaning over behind you, eyebrow raised as you gawked at him.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” you exclaimed, pulling back an earcup of your headset.

He frowned. “How can I sneak up on you?” He flicked the silver bell on the black choker around his neck, making it jingle cheerfully. “You put stupid thing on me, remember?”

You winced. “Well, I’d take it off, but there’s some kind of voodoo magic on that shit – and hey, don’t change the subject! You have that weird cat thing where you’re silent no matter what.”

Yoongi looked unbothered. “Weird cat thing? Thought you said I was a man?”

“Thought you said you were a cat?” you shot back.

You glared at him and he gave you a blank expression. Then he cocked his head to your desk.

“Your phone is flashing.”

You jerked your head to see your phone screen flicker. You grabbed it off you desk and unlocked it, checking your messages. Five messages from – ah, but of course – your best friend. Kim Seokjin.

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

You pursed your lips. With the pandemic and all, you hadn’t visited Seokjin in forever, but every week he would text you, asking for a photo of your cat and he would send you a picture of his sugar glider. With every week being the same and nothing interesting of note happening, it was hard to think of conversation topics. Therefore, Seokjin and you came up with this weekly event so your friendship wouldn’t deteriorate. Also, both of you were serious introverts, so he spent most of this pandemic playing MapleStory while you spent most of it on your couch watching Netflix with your cat. It was a miracle you two hadn’t morphed into actual potatoes yet.

You glanced at Yoongi, who was inspecting his nails and picking at them. You frowned and batted at his hand. He frowned back and smacked yours, harder. You glared at him. He gave you a vacant stare, as if he had done nothing.

“Why are you picking at your cuticles?” you muttered, going back to your phone and sending Seokjin an old picture of Shooky. You couldn’t exactly send him a picture of current Shooky. He was… well, currently not a cat. You stared at the picture of the fluffy tuxedo cat curled into a ball, asleep in your lap on the couch.

That moment wasn’t even that long ago.

Somehow, it felt like ages since you had last petted that furry butt.

“Hm, dunno. Occupies my hands, I guess,” Yoongi replied distractedly.

“Well, you shouldn’t. It’s not good for you.” You noticed you had another message from the local delivery service, saying a package had arrived at your doorstep. You stood, placing your phone on the desk and looked at Yoongi, who was staring at his old cat tree, the one by the window. When he was a cat, he used to poke his head between the curtains and look outside, watching the birds. It was his favorite haunt.

Now…

“Why’d you say woof?” you asked abruptly, giving him a quizzical look. “I thought you were a cat.”

Yoongi shrugged, tearing his eyes away from the cat tree to give you an uninterested stare. “Thought it would surprise you more. You’ve heard meow for long enough.”

You furrowed your brow. “Why would you want to surprise me?”

He shrugged again. “I was bored.”

“… You were bored so you decided to sneak up and scare the shit out of me?”

He paused, black tail swishing back and forth, pointed ears perked. Then he nodded.

“Yup.”

Sigh.

-

You lugged in the huge cardboard box, Yoongi standing out of sight of the front door as you huffed and puffed with your weak arms. Okay, it wasn’t even that big, but it was quite heavy and you weren’t exactly John Cena. Your arms were about as strong as a bowl of overcooked ramyeon noodles and that was putting it kindly. You weren’t the working out type. People who worked out diligently were dog people. People who preferred sleeping as their primary workout regimen had cats. What were the kinds of people who had cat-men then? The kind of people who like sleeping, but also needed a…

(You already know the answer.)

Yoongi snapped the door closed the second you managed to pull it on far enough to do so.

“You look like a boiled dumpling,” he commented.

“At least I’m delicious food,” you wheezed, inspecting the box. You recognized the clothing brand. “Is this the stuff your ordered? How did it come so fast?”

“I selected next-day delivery.”

You paled.

“I need clothes as soon as possible, don’t I? Or should I go back to being naked, since you’re a pervert?”

You choked, ears burning. “I’m not a pervert!”

“Mhm.”

You tried not to think about the hit on your wallet as you grabbed your keys from the side table and opened the box, seeing all the plastic packages inside. Monotone, in white or black. Figures. You tipped the box to the side and the clothes spilled out, tumbling all over the floor. It took a firm shake to dump it all on the ground. You got on your hands and knees to spread them out, tossing the cardboard aside carelessly to shift through the items. Hopefully, Yoongi had read the listings and selected the correct sizes. From your brief glance, you noticed the tops were quite oversized. Maybe he liked that fit? He had been quite a fluffy cat.

You spotted the packing slip with all the prices listed. You fished it out and then heard a thunk-thunk-thunk, the sound of cardboard on hardwood. Huh?

You looked up to see Yoongi swatting the box around.

“What… are you doing?”

He shrugged. “Investigating.”

You blinked. “Investigating what?”

“Don’t know. I simply feel the need to investigate, thus I am doing so.”

You stared at Yoongi for several minutes as he continued to… uh, investigate (???) the cardboard box, holding it this way and that, smacking it around, watching the flaps bounce in the air as it rolled. His velvety ears perked upwards, sleek black tail swishing with interest.

His expression was completely neutral.

For the first time since becoming a human, you thought Yoongi was more cat than man.

“Uh… okay…”

You glimpsed down to the paper in your hands, seeing the total cost.

You felt the color drain out of your face.

My… wallet…

F in the chat.

You fainted.

-

You felt someone poking you in the head.

“Are you dead?”

You gasped and jerked up like a drown victim coming up for air, still in mild shock of the sudden financial hit of your cat becoming a man. It was okay. You weren’t poor. You just didn’t expect Yoongi to be a shopping like he owned a fucking black card.

“Did I spend too much?”

You snapped out of your stunned state at his soft tone. Yoongi wasn’t looking at you. He was kneeling on top of the pile of clothes, dark eyes on the paper in your shaking hands. With a start, you realized his words were heavy with guilt, his ears pointing downwards and tail tucked against the ground.

“No,” you said quickly, putting the receipt down. “No, Yoongi. I asked you to buy clothes, remember? And besides, it’s better for you to buy things you like and are interested in, rather than me wasting money on things you’ll never wear.”

He raised his head a little, eyes darting from your face to your hands.

You smiled at him, reaching up to pat his head and stroke the fur on his ears. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s only money. Money will never be more important to me than you, okay?”

For a second, you saw something flicker in Yoongi’s eyes. It was so fast that you barely caught it. Relief? Gratitude? Fondness? Then he ticked his head out of your hand, fair cheeks flushing pink.

“You… you don’t have to do that,” he muttered.

“O… oh.” For some reason, you felt a pang in your chest at his words. “R-right.”

Yoongi made eye contact with you, dark brown orbs guarded. He spoke quietly, without emotion.

“Do you wish this never happened?”

“What?” You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean?”

He gestured to himself, waving a hand up and down carelessly. “This. Human me.”

Human me.

You answered instantly.

“No.”

Yoongi gave you the disbelieving side-eye.

You let out a sheepish puff of air. “I always kind of wished you were human.” You scratched the back of your head aimlessly. “No one listened to me like you did. Even if I was having the shittest day of all time, you always made it better. You were the best cat ever.” You chuckled, smiling up at him. “Sure, your species changed, but you’re still the same, right?”

His eyes shifted, his cheeks still a light pink. “I’m still a cat,” he mumbled awkwardly.

You raised your brows. “Mhm, is that why you were playing with the box?”

“I wasn’t playing with the box,” Yoongi huffed, sounding insulted.

“Then I’ll break it down and recycle it.”

“No,” he snapped firmly. “It’s useful. We’re keeping it.”

“We don’t need a box, Yoongi.”

He tutted. “Hmph, humans. So wasteful. A perfectly good box should be reused.”

“Right.”

You tried to hide your laugh as Yoongi refused to look you in the eye.

-

You left Yoongi to examine his new wardrobe on the floor. You tried to pick them up but he stubbornly remained on the pile of clothes, not letting you move them. When you stood up to leave, you asked him when he was going to move – he replied with, "When it feels right", just cat things, you supposed – and hurried off to export the edited video you were working on earlier. The due date was today and you had to review it for quality.

A certain quality. 

A certain quality of... of... 

Needing the money.

Because your cat (man) had spent fat chunk of it on clothes, only to be more interested in the box they came in and sitting on said clothes rather than the actual items themselves. 

Sigh. 

-

"I ordered the wrong color."

"Oh?" you muttered distractedly, clocking on the export button. You'd been going cross-eyed for the past two or three hours – had it really been that long? shit – and checked your phone to see Gukmul, Seokjin's white sugar glider, peering up at the camera on a white fluffy blanket. You smiled, typing a response to praise his cuteness, completely ignoring the fact that Seokjin had also stuck his handsome face in the photo, smiling with a thumbs-up next to his pet. 

The reply was instant. 

hello, acknowledge my BEAUTIFUL FACE

You deliberately didn't answer right away to piss Seokjin off even more. 

"What's wrong with it?" you asked, looking up. 

Your jaw dropped. 

You dropped your phone. 

Yoongi, your cat-man with excellent reflexes, made absolutely no move to catch it. 

It smacked you in the calf and hit your toes – fucking ow, holy shit – before clattering to the floor. You had a protective phone case on it with a cute tuxedo cat graphic. The screen wouldn't crack with the protector on it. In this moment, however, you didn't give a shit about your smartphone, Kim Seokjin, or even the blinding pain in your foot. Nope. 

You were ogling at Min Yoongi in pink silk pajamas.

-

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to–

Oi!

No, don't you dare scroll past! You think you're clever or something?! Hm? Advertisements always happen at the most crucial parts, you say? 

This is just an ad? 

Look here, Lemona Vitamin C Powder can provide a lot of benefits, including providing natural energy and boosting your immune system in, say, a worldwide pandemic–

STOP TRYING TO SCROLL PAST!!!

-

Jeon Jungkook stared at his phone. 

At a very specific number. 

He put it down, sighing a little, looking out the window instead. It was a nice day, but he couldn't enjoy it the way it was meant to be enjoyed. Pandemic and all that. He frowned, looking at the urban jungle surrounding him. Had he made a mistake moving here to the big city? Sometimes he wondered. Back then, he had moved to finish school and pursue his ambitions. Back then, his choice had seemed full of opportunities, but now.

What did he have, really?

A tiny apartment with a kind and understanding landlord. The world at his fingertips from his computer. Still a decent amount of savings left. Online courses that he needed to finish to get his film degree. 

Loneliness.

He delved into his memories, smiling at the recollection of confused looks, awkward smiles, indignant huffs. So very unlike him to tease so much, but it was too fun and he hadn't felt the usual nervousness and shyness he had around others. There was something comforting about that smile, that apartment, and that fluffy tuxedo cat that loved to interrupt everything. 

He shouldn't have played it off.

He shouldn't have distracted.

Not after he admitted it.

"I like you."

Jungkook said it to the air, to the memory. So vivid that he reached out to touch those lips, but then it all disappeared, just like that. 

Ah.

He looked at the back of his phone, wondering. But now he was too nervous and shy to pick it up again. Why was that? When he was there, being seen by those surprised eyes, he could do and say shameless things. But far away, when he was alone, Jungkook was hesitating, suddenly afraid.

Sigh. 

-

You sneezed. 

Very loudly and jerking your head away from your cat-man in luxurious pink silk, jamming your nose into your elbow.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. 

You sniffed, rubbing your nose. 

"Someone must be thinking about me..." you muttered. 

Yoongi looked down, plucking the collar of the pajamas. "The cotton shirts are the same size, but for some reason this one fits tighter. Why is that? Is there no regulated sizing in human fashion?"

Dude, be glad you're not a girl, you thought dryly. "Might be the fabric," you coughed distractedly. Distractedly because you were staring at quite possibly the most gorgeous man in the history of men and you stared at a lot of men in your short lifetime, so you had experienced eyeballs.

Wait. 

Man or cat-man?

Well, Yoongi was definitely the most gorgeous cat-man considering you were pretty sure there was only one in current existence.

His pointed ears stood straight up in interest, black hair messy from taking clothes on and off, fair cheeks and nose flushed pink, perhaps from physical exertion. Dark brown eyes sheepish, not quite looking at you. The black leather choker stood out on his neck, silver bell gleaming against his collarbones. The material was a mauve-pink silk, clinging to his lean body, showing off his shoulders and long limbs. The button-up shirt created a rather deep v-neckline, a sliver of pale chest visible. And his legs! His slim legs reminded you of a nimble dancer, ending in fuzzy black slippers. 

There was a weird lump in one of the pant legs, going down his thigh. 

Whoa. 

"W-Why did you pick them?" you tried to ask in the least awkward way possible, attempting – and failing – to not to stare at his delectable thighs. 

Yoongi shrugged. "They looked like the ones you have. I meant to get black, but I suppose I didn't read the listing closely enough. They're comfortable though," he mused before making a face. Your eyes bulged as there was a sudden jerk in his pants, creating a large tent in the crotch. 

Alarms sounded off in your head, arousal shooting up like a rocket. 

Oh. 

Oh??? 

Oh!!!!!!!

"My tail is stuck," Yoongi grunted, lowering the back of the pink silk pants. The sleek black cat tail slid out, swishing in the air, tent in his pants gone. 

Oh…

Right. The tail.

Because he's a cat... man.

Your inner thot was sad. Your dignity smacked you upside the head, highly disappointed in you for falling for that, then calmly shot down your arousal rocket with your shame. Oof.

"Can you show me how to sew so I can fix my own clothes from now on?" Yoongi asked as he readjusted the front of the silk shirt. 

You bent down to pick up your phone, trying to do something with your face and hands to disguise your embarrassment and burning ears. "Yeah, of course." You placed it on your desk and turned back to face him. 

Yoongi was right next to you. 

Literally so close that you could feel his body heat. 

"... Urk!"

You jumped in your seat, banging your knee against your desk and howling in pain, computer chair rolling and making you lose your balance, ass about to slip before Yoongi grabbed your chair and shoved it into the table, making you trip and fall back into the seat, head hitting the headrest a little too hard, seeing stars and rubber duckies for a second. 

Wait, were they rubber duckies? They were white and glittery, almost as if they were made from snow…

Yoongi slapped you in the face.

“Ow!”

You rubbed your cheek, blinking rapidly to clear your vision before glaring at him.

“Checking if you were alive,” was his placid response.

Alright, it wasn’t that hard, but the unexpectedness of it still hurt. You frowned, only for the pain to slowly melt away, quickly being replaced by something else as you realized Yoongi was still half-leaning over you, a knee on your computer gaming chair to prevent it from rolling. The sting in your knee was temporarily forgotten. Yoongi spoke again, his voice low and deep, almost a sensual purr.

“You hit yourself pretty hard.”

He doesn’t know what’s he’s doing. It’s just a coincidence. A kitty-incidence, Seokjin would say.

Your eyes widened as Yoongi closed in, peering at your unfocused gaze. Now you could see down his shirt. Holy shit. Were you so deprived that you were getting mad horny from seeing Yoongi’s fucking clavicle and sternum?

Is that even a question?

Yes.

Yes, you were.

“You look like you did last night.”

“What?” you breathed, still unabashedly looking down his shirt.

“Your pupils are dilated.”

You froze. His cool fingertips were on your neck.

“Heartrate increased.”

You wanted to pull back, say, no, wait, don’t do that, but Yoongi was too close and his exhale was too feathery, brushing against your lips, and you couldn’t move, trapped in your chair, between him wrapped in pink silk and your mind reeling, him still playing fucking doctor while you were trying not to jump his half-covered ass.

“And that smell.”

You finally tore your gaze away, eyes drifting up to his.

You swallowed.

“S… smell?”

Oh no.

Oh no, no, no.

Ohnoohshitwhatifhecansmellmypus–

Yoongi’s eyes narrowed, surveying you closely. He was so close you couldn’t see his lips, only his dark brown orbs. He didn’t say anything. He smelled like your soap, reminding you of his naked body pressed against you in the shower. Your heartbeat was leaping to your throat, threatening to choke you with your own horniness. Honestly, at this point, would you even be surprised?

You chuckled nervously, clinging onto your last shreds of self-preservation, which, admittedly, were rapidly yeeting out of your hands.

“Hahaha… but you’re… a cat… yeah?”

Right?

Seconds passed.

Right???

Minutes passed.

RIGHT???????

Yoongi’s lashes lowered, not quite looking at your eyes. Staring at your lips.

“I’m a man too,” he whispered softly.

Your eyes widened.

Yoongi kissed you.

You were so shocked that you swore your eyes nearly left your head.

It was a soft kiss, his eyes closed, tilting his head slightly to fit better against yours, pressing you back into your chair. Your head hit the headrest and you gasped, your tongue lightly flicking his lips and they parted, his own tongue sliding against yours, gentle licks, your brain malfunctioning, but body remembering, hands coming up to grab his shirt and yank him closer, pressing back against him. He backed up a little at your suddenness, exhaling hard. Your eyes snapped open, suddenly aware of how forceful you were.

Yoongi looked away, pointed black ears flicking back and forth uneasily.

You kissed your cat. Man. Cat-man.

He’s been a man for not even two days and you just tried to make out with him like a demented beast!

“A-ah, Yoongi, no, I’m so sorry, I-I… please, I didn’t mean to…” you stuttered, letting go of him quickly, but also not wanting to let go, but you should, your hands getting confused by your mental signals, repeatedly clasping and unclasping the pink silk, not realizing that he wasn’t even trying to move away.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Yoongi said slowly.

You clutched his shirt, staring at your white knuckles, unable to look at him directly.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… you’re so handsome, but I’m your owner… and I cracked…”

“What you are is a desperate, sexually deprived human.”

You jerked your head up, seeing his unreadable expression. “I-It’s been over a year–”

All of a sudden, Yoongi lowered his knee and grabbed you by the ass, scooting you down on the rolling chair. You yelped at the swift movement, gasping as your crotch collided with his thigh, wincing as you heard the squelch of your panties jamming into your soaked core.

Yikes.

Welp, you can’t hide that shit now.

“You like things like this, don’t you?” Yoongi murmured.

Your cheeks heated. “T…Things like w-what…?”

Oh, you knew what. You knew very well what, but you also couldn’t form coherent sentences.

His fingers sank into your ass and he pressed you into his thigh, rolling it into your heat. The whines tore out of your throat involuntarily, grabbing his arm and staring up at him with shaking eyes, seeing his curious gaze looking down at you.

“B-But, Yoongi… I’m your o-owner,” you panted, resolve slipping with every second, your hips already rocking into his thigh, the slippery thin fabric doing nothing to hide his lean muscle, your own thighs clamping around his leg. “I’m supposed to t-take care of y-you…”

And last more than two days, fucking shit, get it together!

But you couldn’t get it together, especially not as Yoongi’s voice dropped to a lower octave, one side of his lips curving upwards.

“It’s a little different now, isn’t it?” he drawled softly, lashes lowering, eyebrows raising, his black hair darkening his gaze. “Since I am now capable to take care of you too.”

You whimpered, losing it.

Just started freely humping his leg, self-preservation completely gone. Did he even know what he was capable of, really? Did he have any idea what he could do? Surely not.

Surely, he had no idea how good he could make you feel.

Yoongi bit the side of his lip, frowning. “How will can I make it feel better? I’m only cop…” He trailed off, furry ears anxiously flicking.

You tugged on his arm, getting his attention. “Angle your leg a little more downwards… Y-Yeah, like that…” He did as you instructed, his thigh now pressing down on your clit and your rocking hips moving faster, clinging to his arm and setting your jaw, moaning at the added pleasure. “A-ah… yeah, fuck… yes, I c-can… like this…”

“You can what?” Yoongi breathed, watching your face closely, firmly holding the armrests of the chair so it wouldn’t slide.  

Your head tipped back a little, bucking harder into his thigh, so wet your juices were soaking through your leggings and drenching the pink silk, turning it darker, the strong scent of your sweet arousal clearly evident. Your eyes drifted to Yoongi’s dark orbs covered by black hair, vision hazy, noticing the slight inquisitive upturn of his upper lip. There was no point in hiding it anymore.

“Can cum, Yoongi, fuck, I’m going to cum…” you moaned, inhaling his scent, his presence, saying his name and looking up at him, the stimulation and touch of another enough to get you there, eyelids fluttering as your orgasm swept down, taking you away and filling you with serene satisfaction, crashing waves soaring through you, washing away the sand of your dry spell, a different kind of euphoria than when you were on your own, pulling Yoongi close, kissing him deeply, breathing hard.

“Y… Yoongi…”

“Was it nice?” he murmured. “Was I what you needed?”

“Yeah…” You kissed his soft lips again, semi-breathless. “I–” The wave of guilt came now, your words dropping, brows furrowing, a sharp pang in your chest. Rising, rising. Panic. Yoongi lowered his head, black hair and soft pointed ear rubbing against your eyebrow, nuzzling your cheek. Once. Twice. Again, headbutting you lightly, smoothing the worry away from your forehead, a small laugh bubbling from your throat.

“What are you doing?” you chuckled, patting his arm, smoothing out the wrinkles you had made while furiously humping him. Your eye caught the dark mark now on one of his thighs. Welp. You lasted less than ten minutes.

Pink pajama Yoongi was dangerous.

“You liked this,” he mumbled. “When you were upset.”

You chuckled, instinctively reaching up and caressing his velvety ear. “You were a little smaller then.”

“Only a little.”

He slowed until he came to a full stop, dark eye staring into yours, cheek to cheek.

“I have to look after you, my clumsy human.”

-

part iv

--

masterpost

[mxchellesworld]

Gloria

Spencer Reid x Latina!Reader

request; Spencer and a reader who is bilingual

synopsis; Spencer turns 30 and spends the day with his favorite people

warnings; just fluff

*I added translations for a few things at the end

a/n; fuck accent marks, all my homies hate accent marks>:( lol but really, i did this in spanish since i speak it and thought it would be cute - i am very happy i got this request! as always enjoy

***

Spencer was proud of his multi linguistic skills, he had worked hard to be able to communicate with others in different languages. However when he wasn’t using his skills in a case or for research, his language skills were put to great use in watching his Russian films and trying to impress you.

While yes you had been together and married for nearing 6 years, it was always his main goal. Even when you first started to get to know one another and he met your parents he whipped out formal spanish greeting, with Elle’s help of course, which immediately had your mother swooning. Papa took some getting used to but now Spencer was his son at heart.

When you found out you were pregnant with your little girl he made sure to get books in spanish as well. According to him the novelas you watched weren’t gonna do much to help but give her more of your sass.

But when she came into the world he was more than overjoyed hearing your cooing over her. The way her big brown eyes lit up hearing your voice in the mornings.

“Donde esta mi princessa hermosa,” you said switching off the sound machine in the nursery. Instantly you were met with the sound of tiny giggles immersing from the swaddle of yellow fluffy blankets in her crib.

Another thing Spencer told you was that talking to babies was key in helping develop their speaking and understanding skills. Of course there was a percentage to accompany the fact but you got the just of it.

“Vamos a despertar a papa,” you said lifting her up and running your fingers through the steady growing curls on the top of her head.

She instantly perked up at the mention of her dad. Gummy smile spread across her chubby cheeks.

“Es su cumpleaños hoy. Creo que tu eres el mejor regalo que le pudia ver dado,” you finished by rubbing your nose onto hers. She shrieked in laughter, her tiny hands grabbing onto your hair.

After giving her diaper a quick change and dressing her up in her favorite onesie which read ‘daddy’s genius’, of course gifted by the best god mother Penelope Garcia, you walked over to your bedroom.

She clung onto your earrings as you patted down the hall trying to make minimal noise and wake up Spencer. You opened the door to see him still sound asleep having come back from a case late at night.

He was laying on his back, head tilted to the side with one hand under the pillow and the other on his stomach. You watched the rise and fall of his steady breathe in the Halloween t-shirt he slept in.

You smiled at the hitch in Gloria’s breath seeing her daddy first thing in the morning. The way she wiggled her body in your arms just dying to see her favorite person.

You straddled his waist trying to keep your weight on your knees to not wake him up. You then placed Gloria on his chest and let her go to town. Her sloppy kisses on his cheeks woke him from his slumber.

He slowly opened his eyes and let the smile spread across his face, “Oh wow what a way to wake up,” he let out a giggle.

Spencer sat up and held her close to his face, peppering kisses all over her rosy cheeks.

“We wanted to give the best father in the world an early birthday gift. Huh G,” you said calling for the little girl.

She babbled away in agreement making both you and Spencer share a laugh. You got off from his lap and snuggled into his arms.

“Well gracias Gloria,” he said bopping her nose, “I appreciate the wake up.”

You pressed a kiss to his cheek and watched as the two interacted before getting up to make breakfast.

You left them in bed and went to the kitchen whipping up some pancakes and a bottle for Gloria. When things were finishing up you heard Spencer’s steps coming down the hall.

He sat her in the high chair next to the table and wrapped his arms around your waist as you plated the food.

“Thank you for the best birthday gift I could ever ask for. I love you so much Y/n, you guys make me the happiest man on earth.”

You turned and met him with a sweet kiss, “Love you so much more mi amore. You deserve every bit of happiness Spence.”

Your moment was brought to an end by tiny hands banging on the plastic tray of her high chair. You both shared a look of understanding before you sat in the chair next to Gloria’s.

Spencer sat across from you while the three of you shared breakfast together. Gloria’s attitude was quickly changed by the cut up pieces of pancake you let her munch on.

By the time you had finished breakfast she was ready to be bathed and have some playtime before her midday nap if she was to endure the fabulous party hosted by none other than Papa Rossi.

“I’ll clean up here, you give her a bath and get her ready,” you said taking Spencer’s plate.

“You cooked I can clean this up no problem,” he tried to argue.

“No no you guys have your daddy daughter time. Then you can read her a story before her nap,” you said nodding.

He smiled at you then picked her out of the high chair and leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek. You could hear him cooing and talking to her as they made their way down the hall.

_

By 2pm you were getting ready to head to Dave’s house or Uncle Dave as he’s been more recently known. He agreed to host Spencer a little birthday party which consisted of the team and their kids.

After getting gloria dressed she was still fast asleep in her car seat and the ride to Dave’s was smooth with small talk and quiet music on the radio.

Spencer drove with his hand interlocked with yours in the middle, randomly pressing kisses to it during red lights.

“Mama y Papa called to wish you a happy birthday. It was when you were bathing G but they told me to relay the message,” you said playing with the scarf around his neck.

You could see the small blush creep on his face. Any mention of your parents thinking and caring for him hit really hard within him. They knew of his past and did their best to have him know he was truly a part of your family.

“I’ll make sure to call them tomorrow and say thank you. Maybe we can visit them soon, I know they miss Gloria and I really miss your mom’s cooking,” he said with a smile.

Arriving at David’s you were met with the door being ripped open by all the kids of the BAU. The boys were more than happy to wish their Uncle Spence a happy birthday and greet their little girl.

Since she was the only girl of the bunch they had sworn to protect her the best they could. Even if it wasn’t much now, when she got older they would definitely be her playground body guards.

Penelope and Derek then let you guys in and attacked you both in the biggest hugs imaginable.

“Oh hot mama I’ve missed you so much,” Garcia said swaying you back and forth.

“I’ve missed you more Garcia. We should round the girls up and get brunch sometime,” you said with a quirk in your lip.

She instantly lit up and grabbed your hand to take you to the rest of the BAU ladies. You looked back to see Spencer and Morgan laughing as they cooed over Gloria who was now waking up for her godfather.

The rest of the night went down smoothly with Gloria being passed around like a hot potato. Though she never minded, loving the attention from all her aunts and uncles.She was quite the stunner. Even getting Hotch to break character and indulge her in a wholesome game of pickaboo. 

A few games were played and stories were told but it was time to cut the cake before it reached anyone’s bedtime. 

You sat around Rossi’s yard, the candles reading 30 glowed under the October sky. You all sang and held smiles on your face as Spencer blew out his candles. Gloria bouncing on his lap happily around all the commotion. 

While he’d never admit it, you knew he actually didn’t wish for anything. Everything he could ask for was surrounding him at that very moment and he was more than content with the love of his favorite people.

translations

“Donde esta mi princessa hermosa,” - “Where is my pretty princess”

“Vamos a despertar a papa,” - “Lets go wake up dad”

“Es su cumpleaños hoy. Creo que tu eres el mejor regalo que le pudia ver dado,” - “It’s his birthday today. I think you are the best gift I could have ever given him”

[actuallyvady]

Achievement unlocked: first ambulance ride Achievement unlocked: first ER visit Achievement unlocked: first CT scan Achievement unlocked: first stitches

First things first: I'm fine.

I got into a car accident last night. Less than half a mile from my house, I thought I was clear to turn left following the person in front of me. Too late, I saw the car that the one in front of me had blocked from my view. Too late for me to do anything, too late for the other car to do anything. T-boned at probably 45 miles per hour on the passenger side-- something I am very grateful for, because it means that I am fine, even though the car is emphatically not.

As soon as I staggered out of the car (it seemed important to get out of the car?) I was surrounded by helpful strangers. Someone else called 911, several people offered to make phone calls for me if I needed to contact someone (I just grabbed my thankfully still accessible phone and called my mom myself), and one very helpful mom grabbed her little first aid kit from her car to help me try to clean up the blood/stop the bleeding. I even had an off-duty EMT who happened to be nearby stop to take a look before the ambulance arrived.

I didn't talk to the people who hit me. I wanted to apologize-- it was very much my fault, and I feel bad. But I am told they were completely unharmed, and I am grateful for that. My mom did most of the talking to important people and such, because I was less than half a mile from home and so she was there almost immediately after it happened.

I walked away from the accident, and I never lost consciousness, but when the EMTs asked me about pain, I mentioned that my hip was hurting a lot, and they decided that I should probably go to the hospital to make sure I didn't have any internal injuries-- something about the location being a red flag.

I had a lot of fun laughing with the EMTs in the ambulance ("it's my first ambulance ride!" "It is... not mine! Though I admit I've never been taken to the hospital in one." "I would say I don't recommend it, but honestly, the experience hasn't been terrible." "Aw, thanks!") but it turns out that last night was busy, so I spent a lot of time waiting around once we got to the hospital. I assured every person I spoke to that I was grateful to be a low priority, which is true-- I would much rather be stuck on a bed in a hallway than have them rushing to save me.

Ultimately, I got 11 stitches: four on the back of my ear because it wouldn't stop bleeding, 3 on my chin, 4 below my lip-- that cut went all the way through, which I discovered because they tried to give me a shot of numbing stuff and I was like uh, should i be tasting that? Scans and tests all came back fine, so I'm mostly just bruised, plus all the many, many tiny cuts from the window shattering and showering me with glass. I'm kind of hoping to end up with a scar.

Anyway, some photos, because I was really amused at how bad all the blood made it look, knowing I was fine:

Also, this morning I spent a lot of time chatting with my nibling about the accident, which involved him "taking pictures" of my injuries:

[fan4196]

Happiness (Part 3)

Evermore

Hey everyone here’s part 3, the last part, as requested by so many of you. Hope you like it. Enjoy!

-

After they dropped Izzie of at the hospital to see her mother alone at first, Jo convinced Alex to drive them to the loft and order some lunch. The twins were already sleepy from the flight and also jet lagged, so Alex gave in and drove them to the place he once called home instead of driving them around city, looking for a hotel to stay at.

As soon as they walked through the loft door, Alex has this weird feeling of being home again. It feels like the place where he belongs, the place he once thought he would start a family with Jo in - now he sort of does but he also feels like a complete stranger. Like he shouldn't be here. Like he shouldn't be allowed to feel like home here.

He immediately notices the missing of all their pictures. The corner were is workout stuff used to be holds two cribs and a changing table now. Most of the stuff he once brought into the loft is gone. Jo's closet is half empty and all in all it just doesn't look like it used to.

All of them get rid of their shoes and jackets and Jo prepares the bed for the twins, so they could take a nap. She and Alex sat on the couch talking until the twins woke up again and they ordered pizza.

The evening went over rather quickly with them watching movies and playing games. Heavy hearted the twins said goodbye to their new friend Jo, but got immediately excited again when she promised to accompany them at the zoo tomorrow.

Exhausted Jo falls into bed that night. Letting the day reminisce. She's really relieved that the twins immediately liked her and also that Alex is back or at least near. It makes her feel safer, to know that if something would happen now Alex is only a fifteen minutes drive away and not a three and a half hours flight. Although her due date is still seven weeks away, you just never know.

-

For Alex the next morning starts quite early - like almost every day with the twins but today they are extra excited. From getting them dressed, through breakfast and through out the whole car ride to the loft, they couldn't stop talking and asking about Jo.

They pick Jo up from the loft and Alex drives them to the zoo. The twins chat happily with Jo and sing along to the Taylor Swift songs she plays for them. Alex is quiet the whole car ride, smiling and thinking about how this right here is everything he ever wanted - a family with Jo.

At the zoo they start with the otter as requested by the twins. They walk the big round, looking at all the animals before then decide to take a break at the playground.

While the twins play and show Jo their skills at the monkeybars, Alex sits down on one of the benches from where he has a good few at them.

"Are they all yours?" An old man that sat down on the bench with Alex a few minutes ago asks all of a sudden.

"Yeah." Alex answers simply with a toothless smile, not really in the mood to explain his family constellation to a complete stranger.

"If an old man can give you an advise, try to keep them as happy as they are right now. If they are happy you are happy." He says before he stands up again and walks away.

"I see while I was gone you made a new friend your age." Jo jokes as she comes towards him and sits down on the bench.

"Shut up." He snorts, keeping his eyes on the twins.

"Never." She mocks, laughing at the sulky look on his face.

They sit in silence watching the twins play for a while, when out of nowhere Jo grabs Alex's leg and doubles over in pain.

"Jo what is it? Are you in pain? Jo talk to me!" Alex immediately asks concerned, grabbing her hand that's on his thigh, while his other hand strokes her back.

"I think I'm having contractions." Jo answers as the pain subsides and she sits up straight again.

"Since when?" He asks worried, not letting go of her hand while he's also not taking his eyes off of her.

"This morning?" She answers a little quieter, looking away to escape his look.

"What?"

"I'm having braxton hicks since probably a week. I saw Carina and she said everything was alright. But I don't think that those are braxton hicks, this one was way stronger and it hurt a lot more." She answers, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself down. Alex hand on hers was helping a little bit.

"Ok. Ahm we can do this. We're gonna get you to the hospital. Can you walk?" He asks before he gets up from the bench, holding his hands out to help her up.

"Yeah." Jo answers, taking both of his hands and letting him pull her up.

"Ok. Alexis! Eli! Come here! We need to go!" He screams in the twins direction, waving at them.

"Noo, Daddy." His daughter immediately complains from the sandpit.

"Yes. No complaints we need to take Jo to the hospital now!" He shouts again.

The twins know their dads serious voice so without further complaints they come running towards them and all of them make their way out of the zoo as fast as Jo can. Alex arm is around her to support her while walking and to stabalize her when another contraction hits.

"You're doing so good. Deep breaths." Alex whispers in her ear when they stop for another contraction break. His arms are around Jo, calmly stroking her back while her head is against his chest.

"It's way too early." She whispers a little out of breath from working through the contraction.

"I know. Let's get you to the hospital and see from there ok-" He says while her head still leans against his chest.

"Sir, Ma'am do you need help?" An older lady asks, coming up to them.

"No!" Alex immediately answers rather rudely which scares the lady off.

"Alex! They just wanted to be nice."

"They should mind their own god damn business." He answers "You good again?"

"Yeah." Jo nods and they keep walking, finally making their way out of the zoo.

"Ok you stay here with Jo and have an eye on her and I'm getting the car." Alex orders, already running off to get the car.

"Are the babies hurting you, Jojo?" Eli asks as he sits down beside Jo on the bench in front of the zoo.

"A little bit but it's fine. It's nothing you have to worry about, ok?" Jo assures him with a smile stroking his hair. "There's your dad. Come on."

They get up from the bench while Alex parks in front of them. He quickly gets out of the car to help Jo in the passenger seat and the twins buckling up in the backseats.

During their ride to the hospital the car is silent. The twins are completely quiet while Jo calmly works through her contractions and Alex tries to get them as fast but also as safe as possible to the hospital.

"Kiddos when we are at the hospital a nurse will take you to your mom, ok?" He explains to the twins, watching them nod in the rearview mirror.

"Ok daddy."

"Good." He takes his view from his kids and takes a quick look at Jo, "You ok?"

"Yeah." She smiles as he reaches for her hand to let her squeeze it during the next contraction.

"Ok unbuckle. I'm gonna get you in a second ok?" He tells Jo before he gets the twins inside where a nurse takes them to Izzie. He comes back with a wheelchair and helps Jo sitting down in it.

"Karev? You can't park here." Owen orders as he comes around the car, which is parked directly in front of the ER door.

"Jo's in labor!" Alex replies immediately, handing his key to Owen.

"Alright don't worry. Go get her admitted I'm gonna take care of your car."

"Thanks Owen." Alex screams as he pushes Jo into the ER.

"Stop!" Jo interrupts Alex before he can get them into the elevator, "Levi! Can you go to my place and get me my hospital bag it's right at the front door?" She stops the resident before he could walk past them.

"Are you in labor?" He asks totally surprised.

"Yes."

"Oh my god. Ahm- Of course. I still have my key."

"Thanks." Jo smiles, letting go of his arm so Alex can get them onto the elevator.

He pushes the number to the OB/Gyn floor and squads down in front of Jo, taking her hands in his.

"You're doing so good." He smiles up to her, his eyes softly looking at her.

"It's way too early." She whispers, trying to hold back tears while she keeps looking into his soft, brown eyes.

"It's not. You are 30 weeks which is far enough for them to survive. You kept them save as long as you could and once they're out I promise that I'll keep them save as long as they need, ok?" He assures her softly.

"I'm so glad you are here right now." She whispers.

"Me too."

The opening doors of the elevator interrupt their moment of intimacy and Alex gets her admitted and into a room.

"Jo, bambina I didn't expect you here so soon. Oh hello Doctor Karev." Carina DeLuca greets then as she walks into Jo's room.

"Hi Doctor DeLuca." Alex returns her greeting.

"Carina." She smiles at him, as she puts on a pair of gloves.

"Carina. Alex." He smiles back, taking Jo's clothes from her and puts them on the chair in corner.

"Ok let's see. Did your water already break, Jo?" Carina asks, getting the ultrasound machine ready.

"No- yes." Jo corrects her answer, as she feels the liquid running down her leg.

"Alright then there's no turning back now. Your bambino's want to come today. Can you lay down so I can do an ultrasound and check how far you are dialated?" She asks, getting everything ready.

Alex helps Jo on the bed and sits down on the chair beside her while Carina does the ultrasound and checks her.

"Your babies look great. They are both with their heads down which means we can try the vaginal birth you wanted." Carina smiles, taking off her gloves.

"Yes."

"Perfecto. I'll give you an IV with fluids and something to develop their little lungs and then we'll see. You are seven centimeters so you'll have a little more to go." Carina informs them before she gets the ultrasound machine to take it with her again.

"Thank you Carina." Alex smiles at the OB as he gets up to help Jo sit up again.

"Of course. I'll send a nurse for your IV and check on you in an hour."

"Thank you." Jo smiles.

Carina pads Alexs shoulder before she leaves the two alone again.

"If you need to get the twins or something you can go, I'm fine." Jo turns to Alex.

"Hell no I'm not leaving your side again. Izzie can take care of them for once." He replies, sitting down in his chair again.

"What do you mean?"

"Since the day I got there she plays the 'You missed five years of their life' card which means I have them 24/7 and she doesn't give a shit about them. Don't get me wrong I love my kids but Izzie couldn't care less. She's happy when they are at school or at a friends house and she doesn't have to deal with them all day. Why do you think she has this big ass farm with a hundred animals and a nanny? Just so they can run around outside and she has her quiet inside the house." He vents, laying his head back agains the headrest of the chair.

"So you have them all the time?"

"Yeah they basically live at my place and visit Izzie when she's free on the weekends."

Jo had heard enough, with Alex's help she gets up from the bed and sits down on one of the yoga balls. Closing her eyes and thinking about everything Alex just told her. 

The next few hours go by quietly. Carina checks on Jo every hour and Alex tries to help Jo whenever she needs it.

"I'm thinking about moving here again." Alex voice breaks the silence from his new place on the bed, "Would that be ok with you?"

"What?" She asks again, opening her eyes to be sure he really said what he said.

"I wanna be closer to you and our babies. I wanna see them growing up, Jo. I already missed the first five years once and I don't wanna miss them again. I wanna be their dad - who is around, who is there for their their first words and their first steps. I wanna change dirty diapers and get puked on, I wanna take them to daddy and me classes, I wanna have the whole damn thing - if you'll let me." He finishes, waiting for her answer, "Jo?"

He gets up from the bed and walks to her. Seeing that her eyes are closed, he takes her hands.

"I need to push."

-

An hour later their beautiful babies are born.

Small but healthy. They need a little help with their breathing but other than that they are both perfectly fine.

Jo has Emery on her chest, Alex has Parker for a little skin to skin time. They are all four curled up on the hospital bed - happier than they ever believed they could be.

"They are so perfect Jo." Alex whispers, watching his son and daughter sleeping peacefully.

"They really are." She smiles towards Alex, "And yes."

"Yes what?" He asks, now looking at Jo.

"You can have the whole damn thing if you want but only if I'll get the whole damn thing with your twins too." She throws him a toothless smile.

"Are you saying-"

"I'm saying after all I still love you and I wanna do this with you. I'll probably need a little more time to fully trust you again but I want them to have their dad around." She nods, not interrupting their stare.

"Thank you." He really doesn't know what other to say.

They get interrupt by a knock and the door opening.

"I'm so sorry Jo that it took this long. I got pulled into a surgery with Bailey- Oh my god you had the babies." Levi stops in this movement.

"Thanks Levi." Jo smiles at him.

"Sure. They are perfect, Jo. Congratulations."

He smiles at them before he puts the bag down at the door and leaves the four alone again.

"How come you call him Levi?" Alex asks interested, watching her carefully.

"He was my roommate for a while right after you left." She answers, carefully stroking her daughters rosy cheek.

"Oh-"

"And Taryn too." She adds, taking her glance of her daughter now looking at him again.

"Who?" He asks, scrunching his nose as he returns her glance.

"Helm."

"Oh ok."

Another knock at the door interrupts them. This time it's one of the nurses.

"Are you up for some visitors?" She asks carefully before she opens the door completely as Jo nods. And the twins come into the room.

"Hey guys. Come on in." Alex assures them as they are a little careful. But within a minute they are on the bed with the rest.

"Eli, Alexis those are Emery and Parker." Alex announces with the biggest smile an his face. Right in this moment he was the happiest man alive.

"They are so tiny." His daughter marvels over her little siblings. Scooting closer to her dad to have a better look at her new baby brother.

"They are." Jo laughs at the twins reaction.

"But they are soo cute." Eli adds, scooting a little closer to Jo to get an even better look.

"Right? Don't you think that Parker looks just like your daddy?" Jo asks, pulling the blanket a little from Parker's face so the twins have a better few.

"A little." Alexis agrees with a nod.

"Can we hold them?" Eli asks excited, scooting even closer to Jo.

"Sure. Are you guys strong enough to get me this bag?" Jo asks them, ponying towards the bag Levi just brought.

"I'll get it."

"Thank you, Eli. Let's get them dressed then you can hold them ok?"

The twins nod before they help Jo dressing Emery and Parker. When the smallest Karevs are dressed Jo gets something else out of the bag and hands one to Alex.

"I think you were right about their heads. These are a little big now but just think about their heads if they would have been full term."

"Where do you have those from?" Alex looks at the little hat in his hand, before he looks at Jo.

"Your mom send them."

"You're still in touch with my mom?" He blankly.

"Yeah. And Amber and Matt. And I finally met Aaron too-"

"When?" He asks quite surprised.

"Well your mom invited me to Easter and Amber, Matt, the kids and Aaron where there too."

"We would have been there too but the twins were sick," Alex gasps, looking at Jo.

"Well now we're all gonna be there for Christmas." Jo smiles at him.

"We will." He smiles back.

[justoneofthoseghosts]

Break me + brettsey

A/N: To the anons who requested for this, I tried my best 🥲 Also, you know I love fluff so wow, this was really emotional to write but I do love a challenge so er, grab some tissues maybe.

Warnings: character death

Throughout the years, Sylvie has learned that life isn’t always fair.

No matter how hard she studied for the 2nd grade spelling bee, someone studied harder and got that big, shiny trophy. She had her first kiss at seventeen with a boy she thought she’d love forever but he ended up being a manipulative jerk, just the first of many who turned out to be frogs instead of princes. Her birth mom sought her out and just as they found their footing, she died at child birth.

But this one, it really takes the cake, Sylvie thinks.

She pleaded with Matt to get his cough checked out weeks ago, asking him politely when she noticed it getting more and more frequent. It crept in especially late at night in bed when they were supposed to be sleeping, instead, she would hear him try to stifle it so as not to wake her. He shrugged it off and told her not to worry, which is classic Matt. She should have known. Even after all these years, her husband is still so stubborn.

One night, when the coughing won’t stop, she manages to get through to him and he agrees to go to the ED. Sylvie grabs the car keys and leads him out the door.

They greet the new charge nurse, who brings them into a treatment room. Sylvie doesn’t think much of it as Ethan comes in and they make small talk and catch up with the ED chief, who at 70 seems to show no signs of retiring. He orders a few standard tests. They wheel Matt off to get an x ray while Sylvie goes to grab a snack from the vending machine.

When Ethan finds her forty minutes later, his face is grim. Her heart drops to the pit of her stomach and she knows it’s not just an ordinary cough.

Stage 4 lung cancer.

Matt Casey, retired CFD battalion chief has stage 4 lung cancer.

It’s like a cruel joke. Matt’s never smoked a single cigarette in his life but his career as a firefighter has finally caught up with him - all the fumes, the smoke, the dust have made their way into his lungs. Sylvie doesn’t cry while the oncologist takes them through their options. She’d gladly sit through a hundred rounds of chemo with Matt if needed.

Except he doesn’t want that.

They argue about it for several weeks. Matt says he wants to spend the rest of his days at home, maybe they can rent a cabin in the woods in Michigan where the air is fresh, the sky is blue and they can just be, waiting for the inevitable.

“Matt,” she starts to say, an edge in her tone. They've been going around in circles and Sylvie is ready to put her foot down.

Matt shakes his head, taking her hand and gently telling her what he's been repeating since that day they found out, “I’ve lived a full life. We have these great kids and grandkids. I can’t ask for anything more.”

Sylvie yanks her hand out of his grasp. She's had enough.

“What would you do if it were the other way around?” She yells, her voice trembling slightly. She doesn’t think she’s every screamed at him this loudly in all their years together but she doesn’t want to give up. She needs him to understand.

Matt sighs, running a hand through his now grey hair. After a beat, he looks her in the eye. She knows he can't lie and say he'll take it lying down if she were to tell him what he's been parroting.

“I’d be begging you to get the treatment because I couldn’t bear to live a day without you,” he admits quietly.

They hold each other’s gazes, neither willing to concede.

“Please, Matt,” Sylvie whispers as she feels the tears threatening to fall. She grabs hold of his arm, squeezing it. She needs him to fight, if not for himself then for her because she doesn't think she can handle life without him, not quite yet.

He finally relents, “okay, okay, we’ll get the chemo.”

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. Sylvie burrows deeper into his embrace, sobbing. She cries for the first time since they found out about the cancer and Matt rubs his hand over her back, comforting her.

Sylvie drives Matt to the hospital for his rounds of chemo while he jokes about shaving off his hair. One night, she wakes up to find his side of the bed empty and the light in the bathroom on. She peers in and sees him kneeling in front of the toilet, vomiting. She takes a seat beside him and quietly helps him, remembering their wedding vows.

In sickness and in health.

On the side, she starts to volunteer for the CFD’s firefighters cancer network, trying to raise more awareness on the dangers of such a noble job. She cheers with Matt one Spring morning when Gallo, Violet and Ritter decide to run the half marathon in full firefighter gear, in support of the cause. She’s glad that even if they’ve both retired, 51 still remains to be a part of their family.

Six months in, the doctor tells them that the chemo isn’t working as well as he hoped and the prognosis isn’t good. Sylvie still wants to continue but Matt sits her down one night after dinner.

“I think it’s time we just wait this out, Syl.” He tells her gently, interlacing his fingers in hers.

Sylvie wants to say no because this can’t be how it ends for him, someone spent his life saving people is about to succumb to a deadly, incurable disease. It really, truly is unfair.

But at the same time, she understands his request. He doesn’t want to put their family through another roller coaster ride of emotions, of uncertainty, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’s saying he wants to take the reins and do it his way.

It reminds Sylvie of that quote from Harry Potter she read when she was younger.

To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

She didn't understand it at all at thirteen but she does now, glancing over at Matt and seeing the steely resolve in his eyes.

They’ve been together for over 30 years. They’ve built a home filled with love and kindness, full of laughter and running blonde children who all grew up to be exceptional adults with thriving careers. They have two wonderful, adorable grandchildren. She remembers what Matt told her, how he’s lived a full life.

She feels a tear slide down her cheek and Matt’s other hand brushes it away. She knows the next word coming out of her mouth will break her heart but she says it anyway because it's what's right.

“Okay.”

There’s something in the air, Sylvie thinks and her soul begins to fill with dread. Today, it seems, is the day. Matt’s been in bed for the last three days, not really able to move or eat much. Without the chemo, the doctor told them he had about three months to live and with each day that passed after that, Sylvie started to feel hope that maybe he had more to give.

It’s been a little over a year since the diagnosis. Sylvie’s trying to read a book while Matt is taking a nap. She’s distracted by her thoughts but hears him whisper.

“I think it’s time.”

She nods, her lower lip quivering. She approaches him and kisses the top of his head before making her way out of the room to make a few phone calls.

The house starts to fill with family and friends arriving to say their last good byes. Their kids are here, surrounding their dad and telling stories about how Matt always put them first no matter what. The remaining members of their second shift at 51 start to trickle in one by one. Sylvie told them it was going to be a celebration of Matt’s life, how she didn’t want them to mope around because it isn’t what he would want so they laugh and jest until late in the evening.

Matt kisses his grandkids one last time before they leave and Sylvie climbs into bed with him. He rests his head on her shoulder as she holds his hand and watches his eyes flutter close and his breathing gradually stop.

Sylvie recollects their many years together - growing from friends to something deeper, the first time Matt swung like Tarzan from the aerial after they got together and Sylvie telling him never to do it again and of course he did many more time and she never really stopped worrying, buying a house, their wedding day, the birth of their children, sending off each kid to preschool up until watching them graduate from college, meeting their grandchildren for the first time, celebrating personal and professional milestones together, cheering each other on.

She looks at her husband’s still form thinking yes, it has been a full life.