#my mom is not on here because she has a complicated relationship with reading now and i don't know if i would make it worse
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christmas is so dangerous i'm always like who can i give murderbot to this year. but i've already given it to all the people i have reason to think would like it. so what does that leave me. my 14yo sister who only reads YA romance? my 16yo brother who thinks highly of the military? my 20yo sister whose reading tastes remain opaque to me? my stepmother who only reads nicolas sparks? my stepfather who doesn't read?
#i've already given mb to the oldest of my sisters and to my dad. as well as who knows how many people outside my family#my mom is not on here because she has a complicated relationship with reading now and i don't know if i would make it worse#by giving her things to read. so i've mostly stopped doing that. which is maybe not a good approach#i think the 20yo might like natsume and i do have extra copies of the first two volumes but i wonder if it's kinda cruel#to give someone the first two volumes of a series which is mostly out of print lol#idk she's 20 she probably reads stuff on her computer or whatever device. you can get the out of print volumes electronically right?#shitscram#my posts
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A Gift of Belonging
Summary: Y/N often avoids family holidays due to her strained relationship with her family, who favors her brother. When Spencer Reid invites her to spend Christmas in New York with him and his mother, she discovers a new sense of warmth and belonging, making it the best holiday she’s ever had.
Requested fic!! 🥳: I was wondering if I could ask for a Spence and Y/N in which Christmas is approaching and Y/N usually spends it alone because she has a complicated relationship with her family that always favors her brother.
Maybe he has plans to go spend it with his mom and because they are in early times in their relationship he didn’t think to invite her, but once he finds out she’s alone, he takes her to meet his mom and they all have a really good time!
I was thinking something angsty, fluffy, and maybe smutty in the end? I don’t know, you’re the mastermind behind these beautiful creations, so whatever makes you feel inspired haha
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Very brief mention of alcohol. Strained relationship with family (repetitive I know). Oral (m!receiving), unprotected PinV sex (birth control is discussed beforehand but said conversation isn't actually in it), creampie (I wince every single time I type that). Fluffy holiday smut!!
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader/afab!reader
A/N: Reupload because I'm a bingus head and accidentally deleted when editing FORGIVE ME PLS!! I loved writing this request!! Huge thank you to @dalamjisung for the request. I hope you like it :') The song mentioned in the fic is December by Ariana Grande btw, but it's only mentioned because reader listens to it, it isn't mandatory for the fic. I have a few more requests lined up after this one, so as for right now my requests are closed until all of them get posted. As always, please tell me what you think! :) If you enjoy it, please like, reblog, and share it with your friends! <3 Thank you and I love you all!!! :) <3
Y/N sighed as she stared down at the text from her mom, re-reading it a few times before tossing her phone to the end of her bed with a frustrated groan.
Mom: Hey sweetie! Are you planning to come home for Christmas this weekend? If not, I completely understand. Honestly, I’m just happy your brother will at least be here. I think he’s bringing his new girlfriend, too, so that’s exciting! He’s always so good about making time for family. But again, no pressure if you’re too busy. I know you have a lot going on!
Her excuses were starting to wear thin, seeing as she had played the flu card for last year’s Christmas party and faked a work emergency to skip Thanksgiving. But the thought of attending her family’s Christmas only to spend the night listening to her brother's achievements, followed by the inevitable barrage of condescending questions about her life, was unbearable. Call her a Grinch or a Scrooge, but the holidays had become her least favorite time of year for this very reason.
Unfortunately, it didn’t even matter if it was a holiday or not. It never changed. Her family had always favored her brother, even when they were kids. She had a never-ending list of chores and rules, while he breezed through life with no curfew and no accountability. Any mistake he made seemed to fall on her, and heaven forbid she stayed out five minutes later than she was supposed to with her friends.
Despite their constant claims that there were 'no favorites,' it was painfully obvious who the real favorite was.
Y/N lay staring at the ceiling, weighing the pros and cons of skipping Christmas this year. On one hand, it would be nice to see her grandmother—the one person who had actually kept her promise of no favorites. But she could always visit her grandmother separately and avoid the hassle of sneaking away just to have a real conversation. On the other hand, her family was already used to being disappointed in her. What was one more excuse? She could always make it up next year.
After what felt like an agonizing eternity of indecision (though it was really only five minutes), she finally decided to skip Christmas again this year and stay home. Her family mostly gave money as gifts now that they were all adults, so she wouldn't be missing much—just a meal (takeout had never let her down) and some forced small talk with extended family (who never really seemed interested in her life anyway).
Y/N: Hey, mom! I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to miss this year too. There’s a bug going around at work and I’m worried I caught it :(
Her mom’s answer was immediate, and the guilt lifted from her shoulders as she rolled her eyes at the response.
Mom: Poor thing! You just have the worst luck when it comes to holidays huh? Your brother must have taken all the good immune system genes or something LOL!! That’s okay, dad and I will mail your gift and I’ll send you lots of pics. Hope you feel better soon!
After firing off a quick 'Thanks, love you!' Y/N rose from the bed, let out a sigh, and wandered to the kitchen for a bottle of wine.
She’d tried to convince herself that her parents' indifference no longer hurt, but what had dulled into a constant ache over the years flared into a sharp sting during the holidays. No one wanted to be alone at Christmas, but she knew she had to prioritize her peace of mind—and that meant avoiding an entire day spent deflecting passive-aggressive jabs while her brother soaked up all the attention.
The one person who could make her feel better was across the country, tied up with a case. She wasn’t upset with him—far from it. Y/N admired the work he did and the way he dedicated himself to saving people without ever getting the recognition he deserved. Still, it had been over a week since she’d last seen Spencer, and all she wanted was to curl up in his arms and hear him tell her that everything would be okay.
As if the universe had picked up on her tension, a knock at the door startled her, causing her to jump with a racing heart. She froze, eyes darting to the door, considering whether she should quietly move toward the knife block in case a dangerous stranger stood outside. It was barely 8:30, and she hadn’t been expecting anyone.
After a second round of knocks, relief washed over her as a familiar voice called "Y/N? Sweetheart?" She rushed to the door, unlocking it as quickly as she could and flinging it open to find an exhausted-looking Spencer standing on the other side.
“Spence!” Y/N cooed excitedly, wrapping her arms around him tightly before pulling him inside. “When did you get back? I thought you guys wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night?”
Not that she was complaining at all. She loved any time she could spend with Spencer. They’d only been dating for a little over two months, but she’d already fallen hopelessly in love with the sweet genius that she met when he accidentally stumbled into her while in line at their favorite coffee shop (she later found out it was no accident and that Morgan intentionally shoved him into her because Spencer was too afraid to make the first move).
“Technically we weren’t supposed to be, but we ended up getting a confession so it took way less time than we anticipated to finish the case. And with Christmas coming up this weekend, Gideon figured the sooner we got home the better,” Spencer explained with a small, tired grin as he slipped off his shoes and sat his satchel down. “I hope you don’t mind that I showed up, I just really missed you. I tried to call beforehand, but I thought maybe your phone was dead or something...” His eyes caught sight of the wine bottle on the island and paused, arching a brow before glancing back down at her. “Rough night?”
Y/N blew out an exasperated huff of air, nodding as they made their way over to her couch. She cuddled into his side immediately, relishing in the feeling of finally being able to do so. Spencer had been hesitant when they first started dating with physical touch, but once he pushed past the initial discomfort, he couldn’t get enough of her affection.
“Yeahhh. I had to tell my mom that I’m not making it home for Christmas again this year and it just… stressed me out a bit.”
Spencer’s face scrunched in confusion, looking down at her worriedly. “Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart. Are you not feeling good? Or what’s stopping you from going?”
Right. They hadn’t had the whole “I love my family from a distance because they act like brother is Saint Michael himself” talk yet. Y/N nibbled at her lower lip, fidgeting with her hands before sighing.
“I… um, it’s complicated. I just prefer not to see my family around the holidays because they’ve always had this weird favoritism for my brother and as I got older I just decided it wasn’t worth sacrificing my peace for.”
Spencer frowned, nodding in understanding before his face lit up with realization.
“Well, if you’d like, you could join me and my mom for Christmas? If you don’t want to be alone, that is. Not that I’m trying to pressure you into meeting her! I just planned to check her out of the sanitarium this weekend and bring her to New York City since she’s been doing better on her medication. I’m sure she’d love to meet you, and I, of course, love any time I get to spend with you—“ Spencer began, his words tumbling out nervously as his face flushed and his voice pitched higher.
Y/N’s heart skipped at the invitation, her face lighting up into a wide grin as she gently cupped his face, halting his nervous rambling. He met her gaze, and she smiled softly. "Spencer, I’d love to join you and your mom for Christmas—only if you’re really sure you’re okay with it."
Spencer had first mentioned his mother's illness on their third date, explaining himself after abruptly excusing himself to take a call from her nurse. It was also the night of their first kiss—he had started panicking, flustered and trying to explain his sudden exit, and Y/N thought he might cry. So, she kissed him to calm his nerves. Once he’d settled down, she reassured him that it was completely fine, that she understood how important his mother was to him, and that she’d love to learn more when he was ready to share.
That night, Spencer realized, without a doubt, that he was falling in love with her.
"It’s settled then," Spencer said with a grin, leaning forward to kiss her quickly. "I’m so excited to spend Christmas with my two favorite people. I was actually thinking we could get tickets to see The Nutcracker at Lincoln Center—"
Y/N listened intently, her heart swelling as she gazed at him with stars in her eyes, enchanted by his excitement as he shared the plans he’d made for the weekend. Although a little nervous, she couldn’t wait to share Christmas with him and his mom. They continued to plan the weekend, finalizing details between sleepy kisses and small yawns until they finally caved to their exhaustion and went to sleep.
The weekend arrived faster than she expected, and nervous excitement washed over Y/N as she waited for Spencer to pick her up from her apartment. She was packed and ready, excited to meet his mom and see New York City sparkling with Christmas decorations. For the first time in years, she felt something other than dread for the holiday, and she couldn’t be more grateful for her sweet boyfriend because of it.
Spencer had picked up his mom the day before, carefully explaining the plan to her during the drive home and making sure she felt well enough to go ahead with it. Diana was overjoyed at the idea of Y/N joining them for Christmas, assuring him she was feeling fine and could hardly wait to meet her.
For the first time in ages, Spencer felt like he had his mom back, her treatment progressing far better than he'd hoped. All it did was make him even more excited for the weekend ahead, his anxiety easing with each hour spent in the car on the way back to his apartment. It was comforting to open up to her about Y/N and to share what had been happening in his life beyond the letters he wasn’t sure she even remembered receiving.
The weekend turned out even better than Spencer had hoped. Diana and Y/N hit it off so well that Spencer found himself mostly on the sidelines of their conversations, but he didn’t mind in the slightest. It filled him with happiness to see his mom and the woman he was now certain was the love of his life getting along so effortlessly.
They had packed in every Christmas activity they could think of: admiring the lights, sipping hot cocoa, watching The Nutcracker... anything that felt festive was crossed off the list. By the end of the weekend, Diana was almost pleading with Spencer to make Y/N her daughter-in-law on the drive back to the sanitarium. Spencer could only laugh nervously, promising to do his best to make it happen.
Once Y/N got home, she knew she had to find a way to thank Spencer—not only for giving her the best Christmas of her life but also for being the most amazing boyfriend she could ever have hoped for. He was going to come back to her place tomorrow so they could exchange their gifts for each other, so whatever she did, she had to do it then before he inevitably got called in for another case. The real question was: how could she possibly show him just how grateful she was?
With a sigh, Y/N turned on her playlist and settled onto the couch, trying to brainstorm ideas. It felt like the harder she thought, the less her brain worked. After agonizing over ideas for nearly fifteen minutes, Y/N was at her wit's end, ready to settle for a card and a lengthy essay to express her gratitude, when the lyrics of the song playing suddenly grabbed her attention.
Merry Christmas, here I am, boy
I'm the present and you know it, here I am, boy
She sat up suddenly, a victorious grin spreading across her face as the perfect idea popped into her head. She and Spencer had yet to make it past second base, not for lack of desire, but because the opportunity never seemed to align—each time they got close, his phone would ring or something would interrupt, stopping them in their tracks. Tomorrow would be the perfect opportunity to finally take that next step and for her to show her appreciation for the sweet genius.
There was a perfect dark red satin lingerie set at a nearby boutique that would bring her vision to life, but it closed in just thirty minutes. Y/N threw on some clothes, making sure she looked presentable, then grabbed her keys and purse and rushed out of the apartment.
The cashier shot her a glare as she approached the counter, and Y/N internally groaned. She already felt like an asshole for being there so late, but she did still have fourteen minutes to spare before they actually closed. The guilt vanished when she met the cashier’s icy stare, and she grabbed her purchase with a mumbled thanks before she hurried out of the store. Sue her for wanting to look sexy for her boyfriend on Christmas.
The next day seemed to drag on, with Y/N anticipating the surprise she had planned for Spencer.
She cleaned the apartment until it was spotless, setting the perfect mood with scattered scented candles and dimming the lights. The room was softly illuminated by her Christmas tree—one she had convinced Spencer to help decorate at the start of the month—and a few strands of lights she had strung up. All of the presents were ready and waiting to be unwrapped.
Now all she was waiting on was Spencer himself.
Three firm knocks echoed at the door, marking his arrival—right on the dot at 5:00. As punctual as ever. Y/N opened the door with a thrilled smile, eagerly tugging him inside.
"Woah, hey! Hello to you too, sweetheart," Spencer chuckles loudly, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“I’ve been looking forward to this all day, so excuse my enthusiasm,” Y/N said with a soft laugh. “Dinner’s ready if you’re hungry. We can do presents first and then eat, or eat and then unwrap them—whatever you prefer. I honestly could do either, it doesn't matter to me and of course, you're the guest so—”
Spencer grinned as she nervously rambled, her hands gesturing wildly as she listed off options. It was oddly comforting to him that she got just as nervous around him as he did around her. Even though she had quickly become the person he felt most at ease with, a part of him still felt those nerves—after all, she was the most incredible woman he’d ever met, and the thought of messing things up and losing her terrified him.
“How about we eat first and then open presents? Is that okay with you?” Spencer suggested, offering a small smile.
The tension in Y/N's body eased as she returned the smile, nodding in agreement. "That sounds perfect."
Dinner passed with casual conversation, both Y/N and Spencer chatting between bites about everything from the new book she was reading to the latest research paper Spencer had discovered and found fascinating. They ate more quickly than usual, both eager to exchange the gifts they had carefully picked out for each other. It wasn’t long before they were done, clearing the table and loading the dishes into the sink before heading into the living room.
The two of them sat together in front of the tree, feeling as giddy as a couple of kids as they finally began to exchange presents.
Spencer slowly unwrapped his first gift, his eyes softening as he revealed the delicate, intricately designed watch she'd chosen for him—a gift that held both practical value and deep sentimental meaning. He glanced up at her, a shy but sincere smile spreading across his face, and she felt the warmth in his gaze. “This is… perfect, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "Thank you. I’ll wear it every day, I promise."
“Always, Spence. I’m so glad you love it,” Y/N murmured, her eyes filled with affection as she watched him. She recalled how devastated he’d been when his previous watch had broken a few weeks ago. Though hers wasn’t as extravagant as his old one, it meant far more to him—because it came from her.
Y/N cherished every gift he gave her: a whimsical coffee mug to add to her collection, a journal with a playful inscription from him that made her laugh—promising she'd have a place to rant about her family when he wasn’t around to listen, a couple of books from her wishlist, and, lastly, her absolute favorite: a delicate locket on a thin chain, holding the first picture they’d ever taken together.
Once all the gifts were unwrapped, Y/N smiled and stood up, holding her hand out to Spencer. He looked at her in confusion but took her hand without hesitation, allowing her to lead him to the couch.
“Keep your eyes closed and stay right here. Your final gift is in my room,” Y/N instructed, a mischievous smile curling at her lips. As soon as his eyes were shut, she darted down the hallway to her room, stifling a soft giggle at the surprise she was about to unveil.
When she came back, she positioned herself between his legs, leaning in close to whisper in his ear, “Alright, Spence… you can open your eyes now.”
Spencer opened his eyes, nearly choking as he took in the sight in front of him. Y/N was standing there in a beautiful lingerie set, the bra designed so that it was a bow that he could untie to reveal her... Just like a present.
“Holly shit,” Spencer breathed, and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the rare curse slipping from his lips. Spencer hardly ever swore, so hearing it from him spoke volumes about how much he liked what he saw.
"So I take it you like it?" Y/N arched a brow, resting her arms on his shoulders.
“Wh-what are you doing?” Spencer stammered, looking up with wide eyes as Y/N climbed into his lap.
Y/N settled into his lap with a coy grin, reveling in the feeling of his hands coming up to grip her waist. She leaned in, brushing her nose lightly against his before softly grazing her lips across his.
"I wanted to show you my appreciation..." Y/N whispered, placing a brief but tender kiss on his lips before trailing kisses along his jawline. "...for giving me the best Christmas ever."
Spencer blinked hazily, her words taking a second to process in his mind as the sensation of her lips now sucking a mark into his skin became the center of his focus. His grip on her waist tightened imperceptibly as his fingers flexed against her warm skin. He swallowed hard before finally mustering up an answer.
"Y-you don't have to thank me, baby. All I ever want to do is make you the happiest you've ever been—"
Spencer's words came out as a squeak as she rocked her hips once against the erection now straining in his slacks. His head fell back onto the couch with a soft thump, a quiet whimper slipping from his lips at the friction. The scent of her perfume enveloped him, a fragrant haze that clouded his thoughts and left him feeling lightheaded, as if he were drowning in its sweetness.
The intensity in his gaze sent a shiver down her spine, the sight of his dilated pupils stirring more in her than she was willing to admit. Y/N smirked, repeating the motion to hear the soft noise fall from his lips once more. She lifted a finger to his lips, shushing him before she moved to kneel between his legs.
"I want to, Spence. Please?"
Spencer nodded so vigorously it almost looked painful, his wide eyes locked on hers in stunned disbelief. He couldn't believe this was real... that he not only had her to begin with but that she was on her knees begging to make him feel good. The breath rushed from his body as her fingers trailed up his thighs to the button of his slacks, popping it open while she kept her hungry gaze on his.
His body trembled in anticipation as Y/N dragged the fabric down his legs, tugging them off once they reached his feet and casting them off to the side. He whined as she leaned forward to mouth over his aching cock through the thin fabric of his boxers, his fingers twitching from where they rested beside himself. His breath hitched in his throat as she dragged her nails down the inside of his thighs, a smug grin on her face as she watched him dig his nails into his palms.
Y/N decided she'd teased him enough, placing a kiss on his hipbone before swiftly removing his boxers. Spencer's hips lifted from the couch, jerking toward her mouth instinctively as she wasted no time in leaning forward to lick a thick stripe up the side of him before taking his swollen head between her lips.
"Oh—" Spencer gasped, his eyes struggling to stay open as he watched her begin to swallow his length. "Oh my God, Y/N—"
Y/N smirked around her mouthful, taking him as far into her throat as she could before wrapping a hand around what couldn't fit. She began to bob her head slowly, easing him into the sensation. The feeling of him—hot and hard and filling her mouth so perfectly—had her squeezing her thighs together as she began to move more vigorously.
Spencer writhed beneath her as her mouth and hand began to work in tandem, his eyes fluttering shut despite his efforts to watch her every move so he could burn the sight into his memory for later use. His hips bucked up when she took him into the back of her throat, a guttural groan falling from his open mouth at the gag that emitted from her from the motion. His eyes shot open as he began spewing out apologies, but his words died in his throat as she pulled off of him to shake her head vehemently.
"Do it again," Y/N croaked, taking him back into her mouth and reaching up to guide his hands to her head.
Spencer whimpered pitifully, exhaling sharply before tentatively repeating the motion. His heart nearly fell out of his ass when Y/N moaned around him, encouraging him to keep going. His hips thrust rapidly into her mouth, his eyes squeezed shut now as moan after moan spilled from his lips.
"I-I'm close— sweetheart, please," Spencer groaned, lights flashing behind his eyes as she all but sucked the soul from his body. "Can I— Can I fuck you? Please? Wanna make you feel good, too."
Y/N moaned loudly around him at that, pulling off of him with a slick 'pop' before nodding vigorously. She was drenched, the sounds Spencer made having turned her on more than most men had in the past with their entire bodies. She hurriedly climbed into his lap, not even bothering to take her panties off and instead pulling the fabric to the side as she lined him up at her entrance.
They'd previously agreed that since they were both clean and she was on birth control they'd skip using a condom. They just never had the chance to actually get on with it... until now, anyway.
The sight of her swollen lips and watery eyes had Spencer captivated as his hands automatically found their home on her thighs, rubbing gently as she eased herself down onto him. If someone had told him six months ago that he'd ever be lucky enough to experience this—having the most beautiful woman he'd ever met as his, riding his cock like she was made for it—he would have laughed in their face. But now, all he could do was sit back and watch her in awe as she took every last inch of him into her core, speechless as he marveled at the sight. His brows pinched together as her walls enveloped him, his mouth gaping open as she bottomed out with a loud moan.
Y/N's head tipped back as a moan wrenched its way from her throat, her hips moving in small circles as she adjusted to the stretch of him inside of her pussy. She had never felt so desperate for someone before, but she wasn't surprised. It was Spencer—the man she admired more than anyone. The man who treated her like she was everything, simply for being herself. The man who reminded her every day that she was worth more than she’d ever believed.
Neither one of them was going to last long, a realization they both came to as she lifted her hips and dropped them down into his lap as she began to ride his cock. But that was okay. They had all night to make each other feel good.
“How does that feel, sweet boy? Hm?” Y/N panted, falling forward to rest her face in the crook of his neck as she rocked against him with frantic, needy movements.
All Spencer could do was whine loudly as he clung to her, planting his feet on the ground and moving his hands to cradle her back as he began to rut up into her. He was borderline delirious with pleasure, the feeling of her walls clenching around him driving him mad with the need to make her fall apart in his arms. The movement served to drive him repeatedly into her G-spot, the both of them crying out and latching to each other as Y/N trembled above him.
"So good," Spencer finally grunted, moving his hands up to hastily unwrap the bow restricting his access to her breasts. His lips latched onto her right nipple, sucking and nibbling as his hand came up to pinch her neglected bud. "You're so fucking perfect, sweetheart." He mumbled against her skin, laving over the pert bud and groaning.
Y/N cried out, her hands tangling into his hair as she rode him harder. It was almost feral the way they moved together, needing each other in a way words couldn't describe. The couch creaked beneath their movements, but she couldn't care less. She only cared about making the man underneath her feel the best he ever had.
Her walls began to clench around him as she whimpered into his shoulder, signaling her impending climax. Spencer slid a hand down from her breast to instead rub at her clit, lifting his head to capture her lips in a passionate kiss. It only took a few circles of his skilled fingers before Y/N was chanting his name into his mouth like a prayer, her eyes squeezed shut as she came hard around him. Spencer's orgasm was almost simultaneous with hers, the sensation of her walls squeezing his cock triggering his climax almost violently as he pumped into her with soft sobs.
Their chests heaved as they slumped against each other, caressing each other with gentle touches as they caught their breath. Once Y/N could sit up, she lifted off of his softening cock with trembling legs, a giggle spilling from her lips as he whined in discontent. She placed a lingering kiss on his lips, effectively shushing him before she stood from the couch to go get a rag.
When she came back, Spencer reached for her with needy hands, wanting to feel her against him once more. They tended to each other with soft murmurs of praise and gentle kisses, their love unspoken but evident in every touch and gesture. Once they were cleaned (and Spencer had all but shoved her toward the bathroom so she could pee to avoid getting a UTI), they stumbled into her bedroom and into her bed.
It was in Spencer's arms, as he drifted off to sleep, that Y/N finally understood just how special the holidays could be—made all the more meaningful by the sweet genius she was fortunate enough to call hers.
REMINDER: I do NOT give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.
#Spencer Reid smut#Spencer Reid fanfiction#Spencer Reid fluff#Spencer Reid x reader#Spencer Reid x y/n#Spencer reid x fem!reader#Spencer Reid x self insert#Spencer Reid x you#criminal minds smut
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The Christmas Shift | Bucky 🎄
Character: Bucky Barnes x Female! Reader
Prompt : We're doing a poor job hiding our relationship troubles at this family event.
Part 1 : Holly Jolly Charade
Main Masterlist || If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee on Ko-fi 🙏🏻
By the way, I publish my book Arrogant Ex-Husband on Kindle. 👉 Now available on e-Kindle Amazon! << here's the link.
Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️
It’s two days before Christmas, and you decided to go back home.
Your hand moved slowly to close the apartment door. It felt like you were forgetting something. Last year, he would always double-check the door before locking it.
This Christmas could be the last one, you thought, sighing.
You were headed to your parent's home for Christmas this time—mainly because your annoying aunt Teresa wouldn’t be there. On the ride, it was usually just you and Bucky, who started as a fake couple but ended up in a real marriage.
But it seemed like the honeymoon phase was over. You and Bucky had just had a big argument, which led him to stay at a hotel for a few days. That’s why you were here alone.
Your mom, Robin, greeted you with a hug. “Did the company lock you up?” she asked with a smile. “I’m glad you’re here before the storm.” She helped you take off your coat. “Bucky’s already here.”
You widened your eyes in surprise. He’s here?
“He’s got a much more relaxed schedule than you,” she added casually.
After Bucky resigned from the company, he invested in drone cameras and outdoor equipment. Since his hobby was photography, it seemed like the perfect fit. He made a good decision and gained a lot of profit. His work was successful, but his schedule was much more laid-back than yours.
As you walked into the living room, you saw Bucky talking to your dad and your cousins. He noticed you and made his way over to you, offering a side hug.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I’d rather be here than with my dad, who’s with his third wife, and my mom, who’s with her new boyfriend,” he whispered, his lips brushing your forehead.
You and Bucky were in the room, sitting on opposite sides of the bed. The distance between you both felt greater than it ever had before. The usual closeness you shared during Christmas wasn’t there. Both of you acted like everything was fine, but your parents noticed.
Robin, sensing the tension, quietly led you to the master bedroom. “What’s going on? It feels like there’s a wall between you two.”
You sighed, your hands nervously fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. “It’s…,” you hesitated, struggling to find the right words. “We…” You usually had the confidence to speak up at the company, but talking about your relationship with Bucky made your stomach knot.
On the other side of the house, your father was talking to Bucky in the living room. “Did you make a mistake with my daughter?”
Bucky looked at him, surprised. “How did you know?”
“Son, I’ve been married for 35 years. I would know. So, you did something,” your father said firmly, though not unkindly.
Bucky sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. “She wants a baby. I’m not ready.”
Your father’s brow furrowed. “Why’s that?”
Bucky’s voice softened, and his eyes looked distant. “Because I’m afraid. I don’t think I’ll be a good father. Look at my parents. You saw them at the wedding.”
Your father nodded, understanding the depth of his concerns. “Well… it’s complicated. But you’re you, not your father.” He placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder. “You're a good man for acknowledging your doubts. It's not a shame, son. Everyone feels nervous about being a parent.”
Meanwhile, in the master bedroom, Robin sat across from you, her hand resting gently on yours. “Listen, I know things aren’t easy right now, but you and Bucky can make it. There will be challenges ahead, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end. You’ve built something real together, and that counts for a lot.”
You looked at her, searching for the reassurance you needed. Robin gave you a small, encouraging smile. “You’ve both come this far. You’ll find a way through this too. Just remember, love isn’t perfect—it’s about sticking together, even when it’s hard.”
Later that evening, you finally found the courage to talk to Bucky. He was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed as he stared out the window. You walked up to him, and without saying a word, he pulled you into a tight embrace.
“I’m ready,” Bucky whispered into your hair, his voice low but steady. “I’m in it. If you’re in it.”
You held him tighter, your heart feeling lighter. “We’re doing a poor job hiding our relationship troubles at this family event.” You chuckled softly, pulling back just enough to look up at him.
He smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “Yeah, but we’ll figure it out. Together.”
And the next Christmas, both of you came home—this time, with a beautiful, giggling baby girl in your arms. Bucky and you became the best parents this baby girl ever had.
Taglist:
@thezombieprostitute
@mostlymarvelgirl
@scott-loki-barnes
@kjah97
@jeremyrennermakesmesmile
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky x reader#bucky barnes au#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#buckybarnes#bucky fanfic#james buchanan barnes#winter soldier#christmas
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TPN Brainrots part 1:
Another TPN manga panel redraw, but this time everyone goes down with me (because it's sad).
Also part one of my 'wonderful' tpn theories and head canons. It'll be long😅. There will be manga spoilers so please, read at your own risk😊.
First character I go through is... Ray.
He is one of the most complicated characters I ever saw (all tpn characters are, tbh). I always thought that people who have photographic memory are so lucky. Ray showed me that it's both a blessing and the curse.
Like in the picture above. You can clearly see that the first 2 kid waving at his direction. It's strange to know that there was a time when the Trio were one of the young kids and not the older ones. My first head canon is that Ray tried to save more kids, not just Emma and Norman when he was younger. When the blond haired boy leaves (first panel) he looks like he is about to cry (also the Trio is around 4 or 6) but when the other kids get 'adopted' Ray keeps his head low most of the frames (I'm convinced that when the second kid left he was already working as Isabella's spy.)
Ray coloration explained:
Purple eyes are self explanatory to me. I started draw him with purple eyes as soon as I found out he is Isabella's son. Purple in the hair and freckles? Well... I'm still very, very convinced that Leslie didn't die (at least not when he left the House). I always think about his situation, like what Norman got into with Lambda. The Ratri-clan is big but they need outsiders, to be soldiers, scientists, etc. And since girls from the Houses can only become Sisters and Moms... maybe some boys can become scientists and soldiers. (I can't believe I'm writing this but think about Andrew🤢... he was 100% not Ratri yet he could become an adult). So by this logic I believe Leslie could grow up too and (because I'm a sucker for happiness) he met Isabella again at some point.
Ray turning away:
On the second frame he is not looking at the girl who is leaving, but to the opposite direction. Why? Notice something else? Yes, Norman is missing too. Gilda has her winter jumper on so I figure Norman got sick again. Ray priorities his friends safety over everything else.
Also notice how Emma and Norman slowly get into the middle of the frame while Mom/Isabella get out of it? Pretty strong metaphor. It's the perfect example of 'Blood related family ≠ real family'. And while I'm a RayEmma shipper (obviously aged up version) I would never forget about Norman. He is as important to Ray as Emma. This Trio sticks together no matter what.
(older manga colouring ⬇️)
Now onto the hearth breaking stuff:
Ray's relationship with Isabella:
This deleted scene with Ray and Ayshe lives rent free in my head. Like there are two people with similar family situations and the one who lived int the middle of nowhere with a demon parent thinks positively about their parent, while the other, who grew up in a comfortable home like space with a human parent, thinks the opposite.
"But to me, she was always a monster"– Ray.
Like ufff... This sentence hits real hard. And it's low-key true from Ray perspective. He studied and read all the books in the House, not because he was interested, but because he had to. Norman is a genius, Emma learns real fast, Ray does everything he can to always get max points on his tests. But he also secretly planning his friends excape. Collects scraps of technology to build the device which makes them able to excape, plans his own 💀 carefully, so no one else will get hurt and on a top of that he is 'spying' for Isabella. Sacrifices people he wanted to protect. I can't imagine that inside panic when he didn't get max scores to that one test. I'm sure he was happy because Norman and Emma got their regular scores, but deep down he felt like he failed.
My head canon here is that Ray always gets nightmares if he is alone or in an unsafe place. And 'thanks' to his perfect memory his nightmares build up from actual memories (like we see that in the Seven Wall Arc). Also he doesn't get sick often but when he does... it's like a memory fuelled fever dream, with hallucinations and etc.
Ray's healing journey starts after the Jailbreak Arc. As soon as Mom is not around anymore, he ever so slowly starts to let down his guard and starts to show more and more emotions. His relationship with Yuugo/Mister is like a greatest archivment in his case. The playful, sarcastic 'arguments' and the way he openly said his opinion on things in front of Yuugo and Lucas. Shows how much he changed and opened up.
Isabella on the other hand... her change of heart and feelings were a mistery almost to the very end. To be honest I hated her most of the time, until the Back to Grace Field Arc. (Older manga colouring again⬇️😅)
Two things in this page which are very important.
1: Ray's guard is up again in no time, when he sees Isabella, while her emotionless mask is cracking. This is the first time we get a little inside of how she really feels about Ray.
2: Flashback of the two most important things that connects them. The song and the way they were forced to sacrifice others to stay alive.
The lullaby is very important, because it's calming and feels very intimate (like a normal parent-child relationship should be).
You also can't convince me otherwise that Ray didn't hummed this lullaby at least once in the B06-32 shelter to help the youngest kids fall asleep.
And now... onto the last picture. Their goodbye.
Saddest part ever! Never forgiving for this decision.
Ray and Isabella were never allowed to talk even two short sentences with each other without any consequences. In the House they had to play their assigned roles. Then they didn't see each other for almost 2 years. Finally they had to save half of the team from getting unalived... And they moment they would have time the last twist happens... leaving us with a sad ending.
Epilogue and Human World Arc...does little to compensate. Although I can't get over the fact that Yuugo's, Conny's and Isabella's 'ghosts' helped Ray found Emma in the Human World.
Speaking of finding Emma. My last head canon for Ray is the following;
When they found out that Emma lost all of her memories from the Demon World. Ray couldn't help himself but whisper a "I wish this happened to me". And everyone looks at him with an understanding smile thinking he blames himself for this... But in reality he really just selfishly thought (only for seconds) that he could forget everything happened on the other side.
Okay. That's all. Sorry for the supper long post and I'm forever thankful if you read through my brainrots 🥰😘. Also let me know if I should cover more characters like this. I'll obviously do Emma and Norman but if there any other characters you want to see please let me know🥰🤩💖.
#the promised neverland#tpn#tpn ray#yakusoku no neverland#tpn theories#tpn head canons#fan theories#the brainrot is real#head canon#a really really long post#long post#tpn manga#manga coloring#tpn isabella
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So over the past few weeks, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a retelling of the OG series from Annabeth’s perspective.
I’m interested in doing this because though I loved the PJO when I was a child, as I grow older, I find myself craving more nuance from the stories and the characters than what’s already there on the page. I thought hopefully the show would fulfill me, but uhh….amazing character depth is not one of the things I’d call the show’s biggest strong suits, at least not for Annabeth.
Now, I’m aware of the “Daughter of Wisdom” series on AO3, a fanfic series that does the exact same thing. I read that fic years ago and enjoyed it; I thought at the time that the fic was well done. However, I have a lot of ideas for scenes and details that I don’t think really showed up in that fic series, and so I find myself craving to create the POV for Annabeth and certain aspects of CHB that I’ve always wanted to see. I also wanted to spend more time emphasizing emotions and growth for Annabeth in a fic like this, and actually have her challenge and address her pride, sort of like a “I’m overcoming my biggest flaw” journey. I want to write this series from a sympathetic yet honest perspective about Annabeth’s life and her traits…including the traits that are not so pretty.
And so I want input from y’all on what you think would be worth including in a fic like this, and if there’s anything from the OG books that I should change, twist, replace, remove, deepen, or add something new. Here’s a list I already have going:
- emphasis on Annabeth’s relationship with Chiron and how it develops
- more emphasis on Annabeth’s relationship with Grover and how they get along when Percy isn’t there. Do they talk about Percy? And what do they think of each other? Does Grover feel intimidated by Annabeth, or feel like maybe she’s not proud of him because he let her down with the Cyclops incident and Thalia getting killed? Maybe at the end of the quest in TLT, before Percy gets back from Olympus, Annabeth reassures Grover that he’s a great protector and that she doesn’t resent him at all.
- Annabeth’s view of Luke and how/why it becomes complicated; how Annabeth reconciles the objectively bad things Luke has done with her desire for his redemption
- an emphasis on Annabeth and Thalia’s relationship after Thalia returns. How has it changed, Thalia remarking on Annabeth’s growth and teasing her about her crush on Percy, Annabeth helping Thalia cope with the loss of Luke to the “dark side” and also helping Thalia cope with how much the world has changed in 5 years and how Thalia now feels so out of place, Thalia helping Annabeth cope with continuous family struggles
- an emphasis on Annabeth’s relationship with other Athena children. Do they like each other? Hate each other? Are they competitive, all vying for their mom’s attention? Do they share some of Annabeth’s struggles; were their mortal parents also unimpressed about receiving a child they didn’t plan for?
- Annabeth’s relationship with other kids at camp: namely Clarisse, Silena, Beckendorf, and the Stoll Brothers (no, I don’t ship Connabeth, btw). But I also want to flesh out Katie Gardner and Pollux/Castor too.
- a proper resolution to Annabeth’s family drama that yes, recognizes how Frederick had a baby sprung on him that he didnt consent to, and how Mrs. Chase had no idea how to take care of a kid with special needs, but a resolution that also validates Annabeth’s feelings and highlights the ways in which Mr. and Mrs. Chase messed up and failed her with their poor choices.
- a new interpretation of Luke’s “did you love me”question
- An on-page apology from Annabeth to Rachel
- Annabeth’s relationship with her little brothers and how they might still try to love each other in context of their family drama, and not repeat the sins of their parents (breaking generational curses!)
- more emphasis on Annabeth and Athena’s relationship, and how Annabeth evolves from thinking her mother is this image of perfection, to realizing that Athena is just as faulty as the other gods and goddesses, and that Annabeth has a strength over Athena in that Annabeth has a bigger sense of humanity, and can change and adapt when she’s not doing something well. Annabeth can evolve in ways Athena cannot.
Anything else?
#rick riordan#annabeth chase#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#percabeth#thalia grace#luke castellan#grover underwood#the lightning thief#anti annabeth chase#anti percabeth
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Idk if anyone has asked for these headcanons before, but ok. Do you have any headcanons about the Yugi family and what the twins' relationship was like back then and with their parents?
Am I finally answering this? I think I am
First off I wanna say I am sooooo sorry that I took so long to get around to this one, as I’ve said before I’m not rly an expert on all the Yugi lore (like I’ve read the Red House arc but I was primarily focused on Kou and Katakuri lol) and I was a bit worried abt mischaracterizing them. But it’s not uncommon for my headcanons to stretch canon, that’s part of what makes headcanons fun. So walk with me here and we’re gonna get silly (actually it will probably be angsty bcuz it’s the Yugis but walk with me nonetheless)
• Starting from the very beginning, I imagine the twins were born prematurely which eventually led to Amane’s health issues
• Tsukasa was able to tough it out but Amane never quite recovered, he came out with more complications and had to be taken into special care immediately
• For children aged 0-2 with chronic health problems, you’re supposed to give them the max amount of attention and reassurance, namely with physical contact
• I like to think this is what led to the twins being so physically affectionate with each other and with their other friends later on. Amane’s parents absolutely smothered him with affection to help him thrive and they naturally did the same with Tsukasa to ensure he stayed healthy, and so he wouldn’t feel left out
• Therefore the twins grew up viewing physical touch as the ultimate way to express love, it’s their love language
• That scene during their third birthday when Tsukasa asks Amane if he loves him was the first time Amane ever told Tsukasa he loves him, he thought it was obvious so it never crossed his mind to say it out loud. Later on, Tsukasa’s need for direct reassurance gave Amane issues with verbally expressing his feelings. It’s much easier for him to show than tell, and his feelings towards Tsukasa became very complicated after The Incident™️, so putting his thoughts into words became a struggle. I am a firm believer in the autistic Amane headcanon so I think that plays a role here, along with him abruptly having to hide his deeper feelings once Tsukasa came back. Even if he were able to verbalize his feelings, it wouldn’t be appropriate to since the situation was so complex and he wasn’t rly decisive on whether this new thing was his brother or not
• I’ve seen the headcanon that their parents were high school sweethearts and I absolutely love that, I also see them as a girlboss x malewife ship (I know I slander that trope a lot but in this case I mean it in a Gomez and Morticia Addams way)
• Amane gets his autism from their father and Tsukasa gets his adhd from their mother
• Their mom would make them homemade donuts a lot which is why they’re Amane’s favorite food
• They never had any proper pets but they did have several yard cats. Unfortunately most of them turned into sacrifices for the entity ://
• Their household became very tense when Tsukasa returned. Their mother began to struggle with mental illness and would lash out a lot, scolding Tsukasa for very basic things (like if she even thought he was looking at her weird she would yell at him)
• Their father tried to make up for this by devoting extra time to bonding with Tsukasa, unfortunately he also had an off-feeling about the whole situation but he tried to push it aside and focus on being a good dad (which caused a lot of arguments between him and Mama Yugi)
• This led to Amane being somewhat ignored, which was an abrupt change as he was the one who used to get all the attention with his illness. His parents would take him out every now and then to do things without Tsukasa but that just made him feel awkward, and most of the time at home the only person to pay him any attention was his brother
• He grew up to be a massive introvert because of this combined with his autism already making it hard to connect with his peers. While Tsukasa gained a lot of popularity for his loud personality, Amane easily fell into the background. He didn’t mind it all that much but it made him very lonely
• They stopped having family dinners around the time the twins hit age 5, after that they only had them for birthdays and holidays and they were very tense and uncomfortable. Amane would always ask to be excused early
• The twins would share a bed a lot up to age three because Tsukasa was very clingy, ofc they couldn’t do it all the time tho bcuz of Amane’s sickness. After Tsukasa came back though, Amane became scared to share a room with him. He would never turn him away, but he’d stay up all night watching Tsukasa to detect any unusual behavior
• As the years went on, Amane’s paranoia became less convenient. He eventually had to give in and just sleep whenever his brother wanted to stay over. Subconsciously, he began to view Tsukasa’s presence as a comfort, and when he became a supernatural he was unable to sleep without his brother in the same building. Seeing as supernaturals don’t need sleep, this went on for decades until Tsukasa returned. Their reunion was terrifying, but Amane slept like a abt that night
• They shared their whole lives together, it would be impossible for Amane not to have some attachment to Tsukasa. But he knows something hasn’t been right with his brother since he came back. Because of this, he feels guilty every time he catches himself laughing too freely at one of Tsukasa’s jokes or stacking up extra pillows for their sleepovers. His love for Tsukasa feels like a betrayal to the brother he lost all those years ago
• With their parents so dysfunctional, it was only natural that the twins clung to each other. They tried to get out of the house a lot to avoid their tense home life, going to festivals and movies (unfortunately Tsukasa and movie theaters do not pair well together)
• I know their dynamic is far from sunshine and roses but on a lighter note, I imagine their more casual moments to look similar to the dynamic of Dipper and Mabel from Gravity Falls
• Amane: Tsukasa, do you believe in ghosts?
Tsukasa: I believe you’re a huge dork
• Like Amane being very serious and academic while Tsukasa tries to cling to their childhood. Amane just wants to get out of that house but Tsukasa is there to make sure he doesn’t rush the growing up process
• Now picture them with the Peanut Butter & Jelly Halloween costumes
• Yk that little thing Tsukasa does where he tackles Amane with a hug every time he sees him?? Yeah he definitely did that in the hallways at school. It was mortifying for poor Amane
• They strike me as one of those families where the parents have very intense front seat arguments every time they drive while the kids sit in the backseat like 🧍🏻🧍🏻
• Their parents were always very cautious of Amane overexerting himself or getting sick again so they wouldn’t let him go on school field trips or play outside a lot. Tsukasa, however, did NOT hold the same conviction and would regularly drag Amane into dangerous situations. It was kind of nice for Amane to have someone that didn’t treat him like he was made of glass all the time
• The twins never talked abt girls or anything like that growing up bcuz Tsukasa wasn’t rly interested in romance, so when he realized Hanako had smth going on with Nene there was a moment where he pulled him aside to have the very serious “I thought you were gay??” talk
• Tsukasa knew all of Amane’s secret hiding spots at their house and vice versa
• Amane preferred sport related games like soccer and baseball but Tsukasa liked to play with dolls so he could make up really convoluted backstories for them
• Sometimes they would play chef where Tsukasa would make the most disgusting food combinations he could think of and force Amane to eat it
• One of their fonder family memories is when Papa Yugi convinced Mama Yugi to take the twins to a carnival. They all had a blast tho Mama Yugi was a bit on edge. Tsukasa got on a sugar high and dragged Amane onto a rollercoaster
Okay I think this is all I’ve got for now, I know these were mainly abt the twins so I’m sorry if you wanted more for the parents😓 They give me rancid vibes idk how to explain it. At least they're hot tho. Thank you for the ask btw these were fun to make!! :D
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jshk#ask#ask me anything#yugi family#yugi twins#yugi brothers#tsukasa yugi#amane yugi#yugi mom#yugi dad
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Thinking about getting into kotlc. What specifically do you like and find recommendable about it?
Keeper of the Lost Cities is my all time favorite book series. It's not the objectively best story I've ever read, but it's my favorite. Here are a few reasons you should ABSOLUTELY read KOTLC:
Fantastic adoption plot. The process of Grady and Edaline adopting Sophie and the complicated way Sophie grows to see them as parental figures, the ups and downs, the way it takes years for her to decide to adress one of them as mom or dad, the way those moments are portrayed as special... it really clicks, especially as someone from a foster family.
The main character is super realistic and well developed. She undergoes a lot of non-linear character development. She has strong beliefs that sometimes conflict with what she's expected to stand for. Her journey from book one to book nine with how she learns to be a leader, stand up for herself, and do what she thinks is right all the time is super well portrayed.
The characters and their relationships are very well developed and complex. Yes, certain things are made very clear through the narration because Shannon is in fact writing for kids, but after books one and two a lot of the kids series feel vanishes almost entirely. I mean, no, it's still charming and silly most of the time, but it doesn't feel as young, especially as the characters grow older and a lot of darker and more complicated issues begin to arise.
The portrayal of the dystopia is fascinating. KOTLC is not in the dystopian genre for a reason. The Lost Cities are not presented as a dystopia at all. That just... comes out slowly. Sophie goes there and is told that everything about the world is perfect, and since everything is sparkling and glittering, it must be, right? She has a few early thoughts about how certain things seem wrong, and those thoughts continue to grow as the problems with the Lost cities become clearer and clearer. Their government and social systems are very messed up, and Sophie only sees the surface of it because she's usually interacting with the nobility, but the reason for both rebellions formed is fixing those exact societal issues.
The good guys and bad guys want a lot of the same things. There's a focus in KOTLC on doing the right thing, not just achieving the right goal. Which sometimes means characters mess that up! (cough keefe sencen cough) But again, all this stuff is explored in a super accessible way, because it's a middle grade series. It feels like reading something deeply interesting with good messages without having to take a lot of time to wrap your head around what those messages are.
The characters are incredibly well-developed. Their backgrounds and history explain most of their personality and actions in amazing ways. I'm thinking specifically of Sophie, Keefe, Tam, Linh, Fitz, and Dex right now, but I'm sure there are more examples (and I hope it gets explored more with Marella in the future, tbh. We know about her childhood--how does that impact her personality?) It makes it very interesting to rotate these elves around in your head.
There are multi-book arcs, many huge reveals are foreshadowed from the beginning. The books open lots and lots of mystery boxes--there are tons of questions being asked ALWAYS--but in the end, they get answered (some more satisfying than others), really portraying just how much can happen even in a short time frame for these kids. Honestly, the whole three-years-over-nine-books thing feels PERFECT to me. Unlike Harry Potter, each book isn't a school year. Unlike Percy Jackson, each book isn't a summer vacation. All of these things happen one after the other, saturating the characters lives, and I think it's very interesting.
The adults have some crazy lore going on. It's pretty fun to try to piece all of that stuff together because Sophie doesn't take a lot of interest in it.
Everything about KOTLC is interesting to me. I'm not going to say there's no issues with it ever (please followers do not come in my ask box and start telling me there are issues with KOTLC idk why it's so controversial to say that Shannon did a really good job with character and plot complexity) but I hugely recommend giving it a read. Let me know if you read it and what you think!
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Bodega Dreams Part 2
Miles Morales x Fem Reader
Summary: After finding out that not only is Miles is The Prowler but that you are also pregnant. You now must navigate how to repair the trust lost in your relationship.
Word Count: 3k+
(This story has a character who is getting an abortion. If that offends you: Block me.)
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
When you woke up the next morning, Miles still wasn't home. You didn't bother going out of the room to see if he was there because you didn't want to face his mom. You didn't really want to see Miles, either. Thinking about sorting all the emotions of the situation made you want to pass out. You wish you could say differently, but you didn't contemplate whether to tell Miles about the pregnancy. Deep down, you knew he had a right to know, even though it's your choice to do what's best for your body. If you didn't tell him, you had to live with the fact that you'd be keeping something so big from him. He didn't tell you about being The Prowler for the same reason. Having a child with someone is such a spiritual and intense experience and did you really want that with someone who kept such monumental secrets from you? This whole ordeal really cemented the insecurity she had about being so emotionally dependent on Miles. Even if you decide to leave, where would you go? Were you supposed to live with your dad in his prison cell or maybe at your mother's grave? You haven't even graduated highschool yet.
You get out of bed and walk over to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Your face was swollen and your hair was going every which way. You decide to hop in the shower, doing nothing more than sitting in the hot water. It did make you feel a bit better, until you heard Miles gently knocking on the door.
"Y|N?" he asked as you cut the water off.
"I'm here," you said flatly.
"We need to talk," he said, you actually almost chuckled.
"What is there to talk about? You want me to accept that you're The Prowler which you've been hiding from me for God knows how long. You seem to be okay with literally murdering innocent people for whatever excuse or mission you're clearly willing to stick to no matter what. So what is there really to talk about Miles?" You spit the words out like venom.
"I told you I was wrong for that. I figured the less you knew the less danger you'd be in. I didn't want you to be constantly worried about such complicated things," He said.
"That's bullshit," you said, wrapping a towel around yourself and walking into the bedroom.
"How am I protecting you from such a violent and vicious world bullshit?" he asked.
"What did you think was going to happen when I found out? Did you really think you were going to go years without telling me? We are in a relationship that I thought was an open book, I didn't realize you were ripping out pages as I was reading. Don't fucking sit there and try to act like you were protecting me from knowledge because we both know knowledge isn't something that anyone needs to be protected from. You were protecting your own image you wanted me to have of you. It's really off putting that you're trying to make it seem like you had to lie to me to protect me. Like that's actually weird as fuck," you said throwing on a tee shirt and biker shorts.
"Okay. I hear you and I understand that this hurt you," he said, getting less defensive.
"It's not that it hurt my feelings. Well I mean yeah it did but my trust in you is just gone. I just need time to clear my head, I love you but this is just such a fucked up situation," you said throwing on a pair of shoes and grabbing your purse.
"Does your mom know?" you asked?
"Where are you-"
"Does. Your. Mom. Know?" You asked again which was followed by a heavy silence.
"Oh that's rich, you protecting her too?" you asked rhetorically.
"What time are you gonna be home?" he asked, following you from the bedroom to the living room.
"I just need to run down and get a couple things from the store. I love you," you said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door.
You have never been so relieved to smell the rotting garbage on the curb in your life. You didn't want to be in the house right now. You reach into your bag to pull out your pen but when you remembered your situation. You threw it back into your bag in frustration and walked to your favorite deli and ordered a cold sub and a diet coke. You haven't eaten anything after vomiting your brains out last night. Your body was past empty at this point. After you left you hopped on the subway and made your way down to the cemetery, buying a bouquet of flowers from a street vendor.
You felt stupid for getting ready so fast because it was 60 degrees and you were in some damn biker shorts. You wanted to go see your moms grave, it just made you feel calm and at peace. You missed her in times like this, she died when you were about 12. You were grateful for the childhood memories but in your teenage years you needed her. Sometimes you think your dad wouldn't have spiraled if she didn't pass, as awful as the sounds. It's nobody's fault but that almost makes it worse, accepting that it was just her fate was harder than blaming someone.
Once she got to the cemetery she pulled some weeds away from her grave stone. She used her napkins from the deli to wipe away some of the debris from the stone. After that, you laid your jacket on the ground and started to eat your food. You are a spiritual person, so you didn't feel like you needed to relay the last 24 hours to her verbally. You feel as though she watches over you and knows what's going on as it happens. You set your sandwich down and let out a big sigh.
"This is just a fucked up mess huh?" you asked rhetorically washing your food down with your soft drink.
You spent the time at the cemetery self reflecting on what you were going to do. It was your decision to be with Miles even if he is The Prowler. You understood that this could put you in danger, enemies who wanted to hurt you just to get to Miles. That was a choice you could make but a baby can't help the life they are brought into. Would it really be moral for you to put your child in a situation where they could be killed or used as ransom or whatever? Even if you didn't consider his alter ego, you were both barely 18. You wanted to go to college, have a career, travel and experience everything life has to offer with Miles. Not to mention the clone, your brain really couldn't even process that; it literally gave you a migraine. You wiped a few tears from your face and stood up. You pack your things up and make your way out of the graveyard and stop at the store before heading back to the apartment.
When you walked in, Miles was sitting on the couch. He jumped up once he heard the door open, practically running to you.
"How are you?" he asked you, running his hands down your arms.
"We need to talk," you sighed walking back into the bedroom.
"Yeah, of course," he said following you.
"First, I want to say that I understand why you didn't tell me. I think it was stupid but I do get why you thought it would protect me. I'm extremely hurt that.. you wouldn't tell me such an important part of your life. I'm not saying that I completely forgive you and want to move on but, there is something that- I'm pregnant. I feel kinda like everything that happened last night really opened my eyes to how many things you have to consider when having a baby. I don't think we should have this baby especially with everything we have going on," you said with tears pooling in your eyes. Miles covered his hands with his face and ran them down his cheeks slowly.
"Holy shit," he said standing up, starting to pace.
"I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you will respect my decision." you said, he shook his head in agreement.
"I'm so sorry that I put you through last night especially knowing, you know. I respect your decision of course but you also have to respect my feelings about it," he said, getting on his knees in front of you. You were sitting on the bed, he rested his elbows on your knees and looked up at you as he spoke.
"Well what are your feelings about it?" you asked.
"I love you so obviously the thought of raising a child with you intrigues me. I want to be able to have a future and a family with you but like you said it's your decision," he said
"Even if I decided to keep it, would that really work? You're.. The Prowler. I can make the decision to stay with you even though I know I'm at risk. I can't bring an innocent child into that," you said, taking his face into your hands.
"I know," he said rubbing his hands, "Tomorrow, I want to take you down to the warehouse. To show you everything i've been up to. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore," he said standing up and sitting next to you on the bed.
"Is it safe?" you asked.
"It's safe when the lion is the one who is inviting you into the den right?" he asked.
"Not unless the lion wants a little snack," you joked back.
"I might be feeling hungry by then," he said making you laugh, this was the first time you smiled at each other since the entire ordeal.
~
You meant what you said about how you couldn't forgive and forget everything he kept from you. It did make you feel better that he was wanting to open up more and show you what he's been up to. This is the first step to healing the relationship in your opinion. You're just trying to take things day by day, stressing out constantly would just make everything worse. Once you woke up in the morning you started getting ready to go with Miles to work. Then after you were going to planned parenthood to set up an appointment. You expressed to Miles how you were a bit nervous because of everything you've seen about the protestors who harass people who come in and out. He reassured you that he wouldn't allow anyone to do so. You both were in the car pulling up to the warehouse, Uncle Aaron allowed Miles to take his truck for the day to run errands.
The building was dull from the outside, it didn't look abandoned but not necessarily occupied either. There were no cars in sight and trash littered the ground, stray dogs fighting over who knows what. There was a line of tents that ran along one of the fence lines. Once you got into the building you were a bit confused because it appeared to be completely empty. He led you to the corner of the large room and let go of your hand. He pushed a broken refrigerator about five feet from its original placement, revealing a set of stairs. Once you were downstairs your eyes widened; it was like you stepped into a whole new world.
Tables that were packed to the brim with technology and weapons that looked like they came from the pits of world war three. Not only just machinery but what appeared to be a lab, different test tubes filled with different colored liquids among other things. Open duffle bags of money, more money you'd ever seen in real life. You were pretty taken back with everything you were seeing.
"What is it that you do exactly?" you asked, running your fingers along one of the tables.
"We're essentially body guards for our boss Kingpin. If he has a problem with someone then that person has a problem with The Prowler," he said, grabbing your hand.
"So you promise me you're not just killing for fun?" you asked, turning to face him.
"I would never purposefully end someone's life for shits and giggles. Ever." he said.
"Are you happy doing all this?" you asked.
"I am, I feel like I really do help keep people safe. The people that Kingpin sicks us on can be some of the most vile people you could imagine. Not only that, I try to give back to the community. You know Mrs. Rodchester who lives on 112th? Ever since her husband died, her entire social security goes towards her rent. The other day Uncle Arron and I were able to stock her entire fridge and buy her things like toilet paper etc. There's a man in our building whose wife died, leaving him with 4 kids under 15. We took them back to school shopping and were able to pay for a gravestone. I know we can cause harm but I don't know I really try to be as good as I can," he said.
"Thank you for taking me here and showing me more about what you do. I feel alot better about this entire thing," you said, pulling him into a hug.
"Me too," he said.
You were both on your way to the clinic, you were a bit sad but deep down you knew this was the best decision for your situation. Miles had taken some money from one of the bags and stopped at Mcdonalds. When you pulled into the parking lot you were taken back by how outlandish the protesters were. Holding signs with fetuses and bible verses under them. Yelling and trying to talk to every car that exited, trying to show fliers through the car windows. Thou shall not judge though right? You felt bad from women who didn't have a choice being told their evil for something they can't help. Like women with ectopic pregnancies or rape victims who may not necessarily want an abortion but need to for their health.
After walking into the lobby you only waited about an hour before getting your appointment set up. It was a week from now and you were feeling relieved that it was being taken care of. You read online that a lot of girls have guilt even if they wanted to go through with it. You however didn't feel this way, you were confident that you were making the right choice for yourself, Miles and your pregnancy. He was being so supportive, he held your hand the entire time and kept telling you: I support you no matter what. As you guys were walking out of the clinic, you were shocked at the hell that broke loose while you were inside. Police cars were everywhere, and three protesters were in handcuffs, you laughed when you saw them. That smile quickly faded once you saw a young woman covered in blood. Apparently one of the protesters threw a bucket of pig's blood on a woman walking back to her car.
"I wasn't even getting an fucking abortion I came here to pick up my damn birth control!" she practically screamed as an officer comforted her, wiping some of the blood off her face. Once you got back to the car, tears started to flow down your face.
"What's wrong?" Miles asked.
"Maybe it's just hormones but I feel so bad for that girl. What if that was me I just- people can be so cruel," you said showing a handful of slightly cold fries into your mouth.
"Yeah pro-life until it's the life of the woman of the fetus," he said, putting the car into drive and making your way home. You were exhausted once you got home, you let your body flop onto the couch. Rio was making spaghetti which you were excited for. She put vegetables in it like mushrooms and zucchini which you really liked.
"Where have you guys been, I feel like I haven't seen you either in a couple days," she said, wiping her hands on your jeans, pulling Miles into a hug. You could barely keep your eyes open so you excuse yourself and go lay down. Miles followed you explaining that he had to go meet up with Uncle Aaron to handle some business. You don't really remember what you said because as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out.
~
"Come on Mami, come eat," Rio said as she sat on the bed rubbing your arm up and down to wake you up. You slowly got up, feeling like a bear coming out of hibernation. You walked out and there was already a plate ready for you.
"Thank you so much, it smells so good," you said sitting down.
"Of course," she paused before continuing, "so, I found this in the bathroom," she said holding up your pregnancy test, you could physically feel the blood draining from your face.
"I'm sorry we didn't tell you I was-" you started before Rio interrupted you.
"Don't apologize, you are loved and supported here and I want you to know that I support you. No matter what you decide. Does Miles know?" she asked, sitting down next to you, putting her hand on your knee.
"Yes he knows, he came with me to planned parenthood. I'm not going to keep the baby, I just don't think our relationship or either of our mental states could handle a baby. I'm not ready," you said, starting to cry for the thousandth time today.
"You know only Jef and I know this but before Miles I had an abortion. He just got accepted into the police academy and I wasn't even halfway done with nursing school. Not only that, I had such bad morning sickness that I lost 15 pounds. I couldn't eat, sleep or focus; I couldn't get anything done, nothing. My point in telling you this, I want you to know that life can move forwards even as big of an obstacle as this is okay?" she asked and you pulled her into a hug. She laughed and wrapped her arms around you tightly.
"Thank you for everything," you said.
"My bonus daughter," she said, pulling away and holding your face in her hands. She then turned on the T.V as you both started to eat.
"I am currently reporting live from a planned parenthood in Harlem, New York. Three protesters died after an assault of a woman who was doused in blood after picking up a prescription. Police have indicated that The Prowler is tied to this case due to the debris left on the scene and the nature of the attack. Heather Morretti reporting with Channel 101 News." The women spoke loudly through the speaker.
"Serves them right," Rio said, getting up to grab a drink. You sat there dumbfounded and confused. You immediately get up and run to the bathroom, throwing up everything you ate today.
Authors Note:
Thank you for reading, I was feeling a bit insecure about my writing before posting the first part to this story. I'm so happy to see that people enjoy my work and it makes me feel proud to cover a topic that many women feel they can't talk about without getting attacked. Abortion is health care and as @kickbacknxtdoor said when someone has so many things on their plate, a baby truly can be out of the question and that isn't something to be ashamed of. Again, abortion is health care that every person should have entailment to. If that triggers you, tough tatas.
@sosongstrawberry
@isabelcor3
#miles morales#fanfic writing#spiderman#into the spider verse#miles morales 42 x reader#miles morales prowler#miles morales x reader#prowler x reader#prowler miles#across the spiderverse
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Idea started after reading this post
I love their take, but I thought it would be even more interesting if SugarBoo was close friends with one boy and actually had a bit of a grudge or a more frenemies relationship with the other.
So here is what I came up with so far:
I have a vastly over complicated backstory for my BitterSweet OC, but I am trying to stick to what is relevant. Fair warning, though, It is still pretty long.
SB's mom ran away with them, from their wealthy (but emotionally abusive) father, when they were about 4 or 5. The two ended up in the town where BitterSweet takes place.
SB immediately hit it off with Seth. The two became best friends and were practically joined at the hip for the next 9(ish) years. There was only one major thing they ever seemed to disagree on. Alphonse.
At first, the trio got along alright even if SB was sometimes pretty overwhelmed by Alphonse's energy. As Seth grew closer to Al, however, SB started to realize they were jealous. They tried to just distance themself from the two a little, but Al decided he liked SB right away and would not leave SB alone.
When they started trying to ignore him, he did what way too many little boys do when their first crush doesn't pay attention to them. He started teasing them.
[Note: I can't really see Alphonse becoming a real bully to SB. I could see him teasing them about little things just to get them riled up, though, and I can imagine that, occasionally, a young Al might go a little too far and actually hurt SB's feelings. At which point Seth would tell him off, and Al would do something cute to apologize, and the two would go back to their strange little rivalry.]
By middle school you had Seth with a huge crush on Al but confused as to why he and SB can't seem to get along, SB with a huge crush on Seth but knowing he has a crush on Al who is kindof an ass to them, and Al who had a huge crush on SB but is stuck squarely in the frenemy zone.
Before that mess can be sorted out, though, SB's father found them and their mother and allowed (forced) them to come back to him.
Al and Seth had no idea what happened for months until SB managed send them a letter (through Al's parents) explaining how sorry she was that she never got to sag goodbye and that she hadn't wanted to leave. Not wanting her father to find out about Seth (or Alphonse) or for their friends to see how "Sarah Beth" had to look and behave under their father's thumb, that was the only contact the friends had for a very long time.
After becoming an adult, SB managed to convince (blackmail) their father to leave them alone and made their own way in the world. (With a very solid safety net of hush money.)
They moved to the city, and eventually moved in with a long-term romantic partner, before finally running into Seth again.
Turns out they had been living in the same city for months, but now Seth was just tying up loose ends before he moved back to their hometown to be with Alphonse.
[Note: In this universe, Derek got hit by a truck before ever meeting Seth's mom, and Seth and Al never actually joined the gang. Instead, both worked odd jobs and worked for a long time at a nightclub. Because Seth didn't need to freak out (as much) when Al had to move back to their hometown, the two are still together.]
SB was pretty devastated to hear Al's parents had passed away. SB had always liked the couple, and they always kept Al from poking fun at SB when they were around.
SB and Seth got coffee, caught up, and exchanged contact info. They started regularly texting and chatting online, gradually reforming their long missed friendship.
This would go on for months until Al picked up the shop's landline just before he closed for the night, only to hear SB crying on the other end.
That's where I need to end this post. Sorry about the (sort of) cliffhanger. I actually already wrote a chapter or so of what happens after this, but it needs editing, and all this would kind of be needed for context anyway, so I decided to put it out into the Tumblrverse.
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Hi there! I love your blog; I found it in 2022 and fell in love with your writing, and was disappointed to see you weren’t active anymore. I stumbled across you again when a mutual reblogged one of your more recent fics, and I’m so happy to see you’re back (and indeed alive)!
If it’s possible, could I request headcanons or a scenario (whichever you prefer) for poly!mc (who is dating all 7 brothers. And the dateables if you feel like it) announcing they’re pregnant, but bc they’ve been sleeping with all of the boys, they have no clue who the father is? I totally understand if you don’t want to write this.
Haha, yes I am alive. I had to leave for multiple reasons; one being the most common reason: life, man 😅
Still, thank you so much for checking out my stories even when I was away! It's always good to hear that people get enjoyment out of the things I write.
Also, another Nonnie recently requested some poly!MC where they date the brothers so I think they'll be happy to read this too~
I think I will add the unDatables to this as well because I've developed an extra strong love for them lately 🥰💕
•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•
How MC Found Out:
MC discovered she was pregnant through Simeon.
Angels have a special the ability to sense life (or in this case, pre-life) and this man had been sensing something different within the human for a few weeks now.
When he discovered that the blurry feeling attached to MC was a baby though, he didn't know how to bring it up.
He didn't know how his Feather would feel about her condition, but assumed that if she wanted a child, she would have brought up with at least one of the men that she loved so dearly.
The angel could just sense that this would be hard on her
And he was right.
MC cried into his embrace, scared of how the other men would react.
No matter how much she thought about it, the human couldn't pinpoint which man could be the father. I mean, it's not like she writes down in a notebook every time she sleeps with one of them.
And what if the one who is the father doesn't want their baby? Or what if the others are upset because its not theirs? Or...what if none of them wanted to be with her now that she'll be a mom?
He reminded her that the other men were good people who loved her just as dearly as he did.
MC had to tell the others and Simeon was going to support her every step of the way.
With Simeon's help, she gathered all of the men at HoL and tearful announced that she was pregnant, that someone in this room was going to a father.
Lucifer:
The only emotion he let show on his face was shock
But there was so much more swirling around in his chest.
The idea that this child could be his truly scared him.
I mean, he's already a father...and a terrible one at that, he felt.
He did not want this baby to be his; he did not want a second child to risk hurting.
Still, if this child was his then he wouldn't abandon them; abandon MC.
Regardless of whose child they are, Lucifer was going to be there for his Love no matter what.
Summary? This man is scared shitless and doesn't want the child, but is ready and willing to support MC.
Mammon:
"What??"
Unlike Lucifer, he is obviously upset.
I mean, MC is freakin' pregnant.
And that means either he's gonna be a dad and has to get his shit together
Or one of the others, even one of his own brothers, knocked up his Human and honestly, he's not okay with that.
Yeah, he knows this poly relationship thing means he has to share his girlfriend but he did not sign up for one of his brothers to knock up MC.
Honestly has no fucking clue what he wants.
I mean, yeah, he's always kinda wanted a kid, but not now.
One look at the tears flowing down his girlfriend's cheeks though was all he needed to toss all of that that complicated shit aside and promising her that she doesn't gotta worry because The Great Mammon is gonna be here for her no matter what.
Summary: Scared, confused, but has MC's back just like always.
Leviathan:
Levi.exe has stopped working
Which, in fairness, happens a lot because of this women
But it's not funny this time!
Like Mammon, he's both terrified of it being his kid and not being his kid.
Unlike Mammon though, the third brother isn't sure he could handle it if the baby turns out not to be his.
Honestly, he's not too sure what he'd do if the baby's not his.
Hell, he's not sure what he'll do if it is.
This man just wants to hide away in his room indefinitely.
Summary: PANICKING, doesn't think he wants the kid, just wants to hide away.
Satan:
This is one of the last things the wrath demon wants to hear, but he also acknowledges that this was bound to happen at some point.
I mean, he's not exactly found of children.
Even if this child isn't his, the man still has the issue of his Kitten becoming a mom and essentially making him a step dad.
As much as he hates the idea, he acknowledges that this is the best alternative.
Leaving MC over this is not even an idea that the fourth brother is humoring
But he'd also rather that the child not be of his flesh and blood.
Has decided to never let MC hear such thoughts from him though.
Summary: logical but adverse, does not want the child to be his, but will stay by his Kitten's side no matter what.
Asmodeus:
Immediately runs up to his Dolly to hug her
And kisses her tears away.
Promises her that everything will be okay and this is a happy thing!
Plus, he'll be by her side through it all, no matter what!
Tries to get the other men in the room to speak up too and tell her everything is fine
Because hello! Crying MC over here! Get your priorities in order!
Summary: Worried about MC, will be happy regardless of whether the child is his or not, and is fiercely supportive.
Beelzebub:
Boy's brain is buffering
Like he was so confused at first about why his Muffin was so upset.
Like, there's gonna be a baby here in HoL! How can that not be a happy thing?
Then he remembered how his twin dislikes kids and realized that he doesn't know how the other men feel about them.
Suddenly becomes very upset for MC and walks up to give her a big hug
But is very mindful about how tight he hugs her because he understands that his Muffin is basically a walking plus one right now so he needs to be gentle.
Tells her that he's here for her and her baby no matter what.
Yes, Beely would love it if the baby was his own, but will still love this child if it's not because it's his Muffin's.
Summary: Confusion melts into concern, wants the baby to be his but will love it even if its not, agrees with Asmo that MC is the priority and wants everyone to be on the same page.
Belphegor:
"You gotta be kidding me."
Believes this is one of the worst things to happen to him
And is now becoming paranoid that maybe he's the one who fucked up.
I mean, they always used protection, but those runes aren't foolproof.
All it could have took was his hand to be just slightly sloppy when drawing the rune below her navel beforehand for the whole thing to be faulty
And the sloth demon didn't always check his work, so to speak.
Does not, under any circumstances, want this kid to be his.
Hell, he doesn't want this kid to exist at all.
But that's not his decision and he knows this.
He felt like things were going so good and now its ruined.
Still...the man was still indebted to her. He killed his Human once before and it was the worst mistake of his life.
He can't take it back; that's why aims to just make her happy
So this man isn't going anywhere, no matter how miserable he gets.
Summary: angry at himself and paranoid, does not want the child at all, but is going no where while his Human needs him.
Diavolo:
The prince's initial feeling was excitement.
I mean, MC's pregnant! He could be a dad!
And honestly, this man would love nothing more than to have a child with his Queen.
He understands why MC is upset and is very vocal with comfort, telling her that she'll get through this, that they will all get through this.
Another man that would be okay with the child not being his.
Don't get him wrong; he wants that child to be his so badly
But will also be accepting if it turns out that they're not.
If the child is not his, he will still be good them to them and his Queen
But also plans on asking MC in the future if she could give him one of his own.
Please MC, make this man a Daddy 🥺
Summary: Excited and tries to help the situation, really wants the baby to be his, stands by his Queen no matter what.
Barbatos:
Pursed his lips at the news, but ultimately says nothing.
Is pained just by seeing his Dear's tears, but hesitates to step forward and comfort her because of the other men already doing so.
This situation was one of the reasons why he wasn't too pleased about this poly relationship.
The butler didn't necessarily mind sharing his girlfriend with the other men
Nor did he mind that her baby might have been conceived with one of the other men.
What he did mind, however, was just how spread thin she seemed some days.
MC put so much effort in keeping the peace and trying to keep things fair for the men, even when it became mentally exhausting
So for her to be made afraid of the very reactions of the men who could have been the one to have brought her into this situation?
Grows a bit of resentment towards some of the others.
Barb couldn't hold much sympathy for them while knowing all that MC has done for them.
Will stick by her and her child no matter what.
Hopes that this child is not his, but only because his power to see into the future is genetic and when you lack the skill to control it, it can be mentally torturous.
Barb would never wish such a thing on a child hence why he'd prefer it to not be of his blood.
Summary: Concerned for MC and resentful of the men who are making this worse for her, does not want the child to be his because of a genetic issue, but is prepared to take care of MC and the child.
Solomon:
Frowned upon hearing this announcement.
It wasn't because of the pregnancy though.
In truth, the sorcerer was more or less ambivalent about children.
I mean, he did well enough with them and got along well with Luke
But its never exactly been a priority to have his own.
Honestly, Soli didn't even mind the idea of his little Minx carrying the baby of another man; I mean, they all agreed to share her and things like this happen sometimes.
What bothered him was how upset she was.
Told his little Minx that there was nothing to be afraid of.
There's this saying that it takes a village to raise a child and in truth, MC had quite the village in front of her.
Things will work out; it will just take some time.
Summary: Concerned for MC, does not care if the child is his or not, prepared to weather through this storm with his little Minx.
Simeon:
Kept an arm around her while she broke the news to the others.
The angel wished he could take her suffering away, but could only stand with her as she cried.
Has never stopped supporting her since the moment he sensed her pregnancy and will continue to support her.
These other men, many of whom he'd consider a friend, surely will understand.
The situation is difficult, yes, but MC needs them all now more than ever.
Does not truly stop to consider if this child is his or not.
Angels generally don't procreate. Then again, that is because the method of doing so is forbidden in the Celestial realm.
Yes, he and MC have a pretty active bedroom life
And yes, he has just as much of a chance of being the father as the other men
But such thoughts have not even occurred to him yet because he's been so focused on MC and her feelings.
Still, if the child does end up being his, he will love it dearly.
If the child ends up not being his, he will still love it dearly.
This child is his Feather's after all so he will make sure they grow up safe and loved.
Summary: Solely focused on MC's wellbeing, hasn't realized the fact that he himself could be this child's father, will fervently support the woman during this hard time.
#obey me#obey me otome#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me mc
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The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore - Kim Fu
Summary: A group of young girls at sleepaway camp get stranded in the woods by themselves in Canada (sound familiar?). The narrative alternates between what happened in the woods, and a vignette from each girl in their adult life.
Yellowjackets connection: This book is so spiritually similar to Yellowjackets it’s wild. The way that we see what happened in the woods and flash forward to the adults and how it affected them. The way that it's partially about the viciousness that comes out when girls are left alone. The way that hierarchies break down in the woods. I find myself thinking about this book while watching Yellowjackets.
Is it queer?: only a very little with one character in her adult life
My Brilliant Friend - Elena Ferrante
Summary: Elena and Lila are two intelligent girls growing up in poverty in 1950’s Naples. They have an obsessive and competitive relationship. Elena is able to get an education when Lila is not, and their paths diverge here. The entire four-part book series follows their relationship and distinct lives into late adulthood.
Yellowjackets Connection: My Brilliant Friend is about a lot more than just female friendship, class differences foremost. But obsessive homoerotic female friendships and their complications are front and center. The Neapolitan series follows Elena and Lila as they grow into adults and have their own children, so it shows young women and the adults they grow into. Also has themes of trauma, unreliable narrators, patriarchy, jealousy, ambitious women.
If you follow my tumblr you know I will connect anything to MBF but Yellowjackets writers did it for me in the show. They literally said Shauna/Jackie = Elena/Lila. If you don’t remember, this is when adult Shauna has dinner with Jackie’s mom who says she’s reading MBF and that the girls in the book remind her so much of Shauna and Jackie. She meant it as an insult to Shauna but it really is a great comparison. Especially since Lila and Elena def had something vaguely fruity going on (but also for other, spoilery reasons). Elena Ferrante is pretty much the go-to when it comes to writing about complicated female friendships so it is not a surprise that they reference it in the show. If you are obsessed with the Shauna/Jackie “friendship” this book series is for you!
Is it queer? if you consider Jackie and Shauna’s relationship to be queer then yes. There is a lot of subtext and in the later books a little more than subtext.
Cat’s Eye - Margaret Atwood
Summary: A painter returns to where she grew up and memories that she blocked out of a traumatic childhood friendship resurface.
Yellowjackets connection: Women thinking about their traumatic friendships! And how these affected them going forward in life. The girls in this are a little younger than Yellowjackets girls but I think it is still a foundational text about traumatic female friendships and unreliable narrators. I am absolutely a Margaret Atwood apologist so don’t come for me (or do. I love messages in my inbox)
Is it queer?: no ):
Big Swiss - Jen Beagin
Summary: Greta is a transcriber for a sex therapist where she learns all sorts of intimate details of his clients. She becomes obsessed with a client and even starts a sexual relationship with her! She does not disclose her prior knowledge of this woman so things get messy.
Fun fact for Killing Eve fans: It is going to be made into a series starring Jodie Comer!
Yellowjackets connection: This is the only book on this list that doesn’t really flash between old and young versions of a character (a bit at the end). Yet I think it deserves to be on this list because messy queer women and obsession and mental illness. Also now that I am thinking about it actually the main character does think about her childhood in the woods a bit...
Is it queer?: The main relationship is between two women and they have a lot of sex. So, yes!
Trust Exercise - Susan Choi
Summary: Don’t want to spoil any of the big reveals but it’s vaguely about highschool theatre kids and their unhealthy dynamic with their abusive theatre teacher. Trigger warnings for statutory rape and general predatory behavior.
Yellowjackets connection: The reason I put this on my list is because it is about women in high school going through trauma and their adult selves dealing with it. It is about the stories they tell themselves to cope. It is about unreliable narrators. It is about narrative and truth and figuring out what actually happened. The book will not tell you directly, you have to discover it yourself (or read a review that explains it).
Is it queer? no ):
#yellowjackets#book reccomendatons#book recs#queer books#queer book recs#my lists#listen you know i love a good book rec list and this has just been sitting in my HEAD#close followers of my blog are SHOCKED I brought up elena ferrante.SHOCKED#I do truly believe all yellowjackets fans who like to read should read the lost girls of camp forevermore since it is SO similar#the lost girls of camp forevermore#my brilliant friend#cat's eye#trust exercise#big swiss
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Jackson's Diary Headcanons
Because I saw someone else post theirs so now I wanna post mine :P But also some of these things are just canon lol
Jackson: Transmasc, He/him, maybe bipolar?? bisexual preference to femmes (i'm totally not projecting onto him), helps Carol bake sometimes, reads the newspaper like an old man (got the habit from Frank), secretly likes gossiping with Ronald on occasion, spends most of his weekends doing homework or reading comics, zodiac is Taurus,
Exer: Genderfluid, unlabeled (canon) with a preference to boys, autistic, music is LIFE, literally cannot do chores unless music is playing, would listen to Fallout Boy and Imagine Dragons, from Jamaica
Pamela: cis she/her, bisexual, has an undercut because her hair is more manageable that way, had a crush on Brenda at some point, sometimes gets Spanish and English grammar mixed up, her parents have English as a second language so she and Marco have to translate for them sometimes, Dia de los Muertos goes hard 🔥, visits family in Mexico whenever she can (Marco usually takes her because of complications with her parents not being American citizens), knows some traditional dances that her mom taught her, would read the A Good Girl's Guide to Murder series,
David: bisexual (canon) no preference, cis he/him (canon), ADHD, randomly really good at swimming, still steals Exer's sweaters often, would listen to Canon Gray (is it gray or grey?? also hello kitty I know I just summoned you here by saying "conan"), knows how to sew, has small flecks of gray in his eyes, is of German and Irish heritage
Brenda: unlabeled , she/it because yes, models Jolie's clothes, had a crush on Pamela at some point, EXTREMELY good at basically every sport in the history of ever, if "looks like a cinnamon roll could kill you" was a person, ADHD, would listen to Chappell Roan, is of German and Irish heritage,
Ronald: queer, ace (canon), all pronouns and neopronouns but prefers he/she, looks like he could kill you but is a cinnamon roll, treats Jackson like a brother, writes to his mother and sister(s) in Russia often, she absolutely amazing with kids and animals, has the patience of a god, has weekly gossip sessions with nearly all of her friends
Ken: *cracks knuckles*, he/they/it, pansexual, autistic and ADHD, totally has a thing for redheads, sensory issues. thought he was gay for a solid two years before realizing he was pan, they love reading fantasy, favorite animal is a dragon because why wouldn't it be?, fluent in Japanese but only knows how to read Hiragana and Katakana, not Kanji though, loves drawing hates painting, love/hate relationship with pottery, may or may not have the tiniest crush on Jackson, questioned if they had a crush on Jolie (they didn't), would marry Jolie for tax purposes though, has good grades because of pressure from his parents (his grades in ELA and S.S. could be much better though), has MANY inside jokes with its siblings, would listen to Imagine Dragons and AViVA, knows some Eisa dances (Search "mirukumunari" on YouTube, it's one of my favorite Eisa dances), would read Wings of Fire as an elementary school student,
Jolie: demigirl she/they, sapphic, would listen to Girl in Red, loves being crafty, WILL BECOME FAMOUS FOR HER CLOTHING DESIGNS BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER GENIUS WOMAN OF COLOR TO BE FORGOTTEN TO TIME AND DESPAIR, became/will become a big advocate for queer rights and poc rights, took over the cafe once her mom died/retired, Brenda and Ken model clothes for her often, also Jamaican (or from the Bahamas? hmmmmm), very neat and organized and has a calendar that has the rest of her senior year planned out to nearly the exact minute of everything, models her own clothes as well, does photography as a hobby
Timothy: Transmasc he/him (canon), dyed his hair red, writes/draws comic books (Jackson proof reads them like the nerd he is), babysits often, chills in the library at school whenever he can, knows American Sign Language and how to read lips (might be canon?), would've read Warrior Cats, can hold basic conversations in Russian
I might edit this later idk
#jackson's diary#my post#text#hc#headcanon#head canons#headcanons#head canon#hcs#HCs#jd#Jackson smith#Pamela lopez#exer campbell#David miller#Brenda miller#Ronald novikov#Timothy Jackson's diary#jolie sea#Ken okamoto#Eisa dance#jacksons diary#RAHH#I'm insane dudes
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Hello, I just have a few not-so-quick questions.
First, was the novel never written with a proper plot from the beginning? Did Sensei change their mind a lot during the writing process? I heard the later novels are really dark, but in the first one, they mentioned that their main focus was humor with a touch of emotional moments. If that’s true, wouldn’t there be a lot of plot holes?
Also, I’m trying to read the novel now, but Sensei’s writing style is really hard to follow, especially in the translated version. There are many parts where the wording feels unnecessarily complicated. Because of this, the translator had to include a lot of footnotes at the end of the novel just to explain what Sensei meant, which really disrupts the reading experience and makes it far less smooth. So, I really want to know if it’s worth spending my time reading this.
Ah, yes, a side question—did the relationship between Wolfram and his mother improve as the story went on? I’m really curious to know if Yuuri’s impression of their dynamic as a “silly mother and son” ever developed into something deeper. Whether it got better or worse doesn’t matter—I’d just like to see some kind of growth. If not, I think I’ll feel quite disappointed.
Btw, if you have time, could you summarize how the relationships within the royal family change as the story goes on too? I’d love to see how their characters and bonds grow beyond Yuuri’s first impressions of them. I don’t mind being spoiled.
Thank you very much.
I'll delete this answer in a few days if there's no interest... as the questions seem to be... particular. Edit(days later): I apparently think that 11 likes is enough interest to let this stay, it stays. I hope you're all having a wonderful day. PLOT 1) Yes, she changed her mind a lot. Up until the 3rd novel she didn't know the story would be picked up by the publisher or if it was going to be a one off/ two off. Then with novel 5 on she started this whole 'forbidden boxes' thing. She wanted to kill Conrad, fans threw a hissy fit and didn't let her. She made the grand reveal about Yuuri in novel 8-no spoilers-. In 9 she started a new arc- unsure if she was prepping the end, or if because the novels started to take years instead of months to be released she conjured it during those years, but along the way she prepped an ending (Yuuri dreaming the events of the novel), but then her editor GEG didn't let her end the novel like that by novel 13 . Then she tried to kill (CHARACTER), and again fans threw a hissy fit, he had to be revived . Here's another -> Gwen's arm She does forget a lot and in the 'encyclopedia' for example, she asks us to pretend the 'plot-hole' is not there because 'sensei forgets'. Her forgetfulness is addressed often when things don't make sense, especially in interviews and such. STYLE AND TRANSLATION 2) I like the writing style, so I can't help here. This is a matter of opinion. As for translations, for decades the fandom didn't have these novels available and so many fans couldn't access them. All the many translators that helped with the translations did some SOLID work of love, unrewarded. Nowadays, you have AI. Gemini, ChatGPT, etc. If you don't like the translation, buy the novels and throw them at one of these AI. You'll get fairly accurate translations from them (good luck with the cultural points and the puns.) CHERIE AND WOLF 3) I don't understand this question. Wolf and his mom seem to be all right. Cherie loves all her sons, but has a soft spot for the youngest, because he looks like her . He has strange feelings for her, on the one hand he loves his mom - as do all the brothers- and accept her as the airhead she is. On the other hand, there are probably a lot of things he disapproves of of her - ... he seems uncomfortable with her many suitors in general and the harem she had. But if this is a relationship dynamic that interests you , you can read the novels and find out. The relationship is not strained... but they're not besties.
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So feel free to delete this but I got this idea from this comic called “Miss Kitty and her Bodyguards” where a young child humanoid cat is the hero’s to a mafia group and is raised by the bodyguards who are protecting her. It’s a pretty good read so I suggest you give it a chance but anyway back to my request.
I was think of Atlas having a daughter before he died (you can choose if she was born before Atlas met Mitzi or if the daughter is their biological child) and she’s raised by the Lackadaisy crew.
Thank you for your time.
Nah fam it fine and anon I like this idea
I’m going with the idea atlas had this child before he met Mitzi she would be like around Ivy age so I’m gonna just write their relationships because yeah also apologies this might be lazy
-atlas (your dad die lol)
you and your dad well, complicated you know he love you in his own way but he was a mix of distance and stoic probably because of all the booze empire, but he did pay for all your school and toys and stuff but still his death was hard but he did try to teach you some skills of his
(I feel like atlas, wouldn’t care about gender as long as you knew how to shoot a gun and run a business so he would’v try to teach both genders)
-Mitzi (your mom got it going on)
she just mom well you haven’t called her mom in a long time. Just Mitzi but when you first met she spoiled you alittle you never met your actual mom and well she became your strongest mother figure (one reason she liked you is she didn’t have to have a pregnancy to ruin her figure and especially if you’re like a girl )
but yeah but after atlas death you was one of her rock (well once she didn’t really use a lot but still) you learn lot of charisma from her even learning to play the ukulele
-Ivy (your “little” sister)
your sister from another mother and Father both of you grew up in the speakeasy. It was a little over there, so she was like your little sister, but little by little bit but you guys are thick is thieves and still are (if it male some people say you should dated, but that would’ve been weird) you’re a little overprotective of her but she a clever girl…
(if girl she would probably get you in to the more fashion sense buying clothes, for the both of you making me wear these flapper outfits and if boy the same but she get this pinstripe suits)
-viktor (uncle with big divorce, energy)
I’m just gonna do it again it’s the same with the IV but like there’s two IVs now you see the both of you like his metaphor children but to you he like your tall gruff slav uncle Ivy have a definite has a better relationship with him I guess but you understand him a bit
(like Ivy you learn some mechanical stuff from him )
-Mordecai ( estranged brother with big divorce energy)
well he like your older brother kind of he was more busy with Atlas (honestly made you a little jealous) but it was a OK acquaintance, but you did share a nice appreciation of crossword puzzles, to be honest you weren’t really close to him but he seems like he was an OK guy a serious weird OK guy your dad liked
but then he left after your dad death you don’t really have much feelings on him. Yeah, you were bit sad that he left but he kneecapped Viktor that oathbreaker
(he probably try to pass some more refined, intelligent words to you. Most of them went over your head, but some stuck)
-zib (your mess of a uncle and …..your mom ex)
oh boy this mess of a cat at he didn’t talk to you and try to ignore you didn’t know why but after you and Ivy shenanigans he open up a little more and more now he’s just zib you did play ukulele for the band from time to time when you was older he was just zib
then boom you found out he was your mom ex and your dad cucked him hard which was fucked up (he did teach you how to bum a cigarette )
-rocky and freckle
They’re both relatively new Rocky been here for a year and freckle only for a short while (also dating Ivy ) to be honest, you don’t mind honest….. anyway you rocky freckle and Ivy are the club main rumrunner now you know rocky better then freckle and freckles, a bit weird at least rocky is honest weird but freckle he has something in him those eyes when he get a gun
you sometime play with Rocky he with the violin you with the ukulele
(Sidenote rocky x Atlas daughter you alway thought rocky was cute in his own manic way he was one of your rock when Atlas died you cry on his shoulder and well you wouldn’t mind to date him )
#lackadaisy#lackadaisy cats#reader x character#im sorry if this lazy#mordecai lackadaisy#lackadaisy mitzi#viktor vasko#lackadaisy rocky#freckle lackadaisy#ivy pepper
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REQUEST ;
Are you okay with doing a Veronica Hastings x 20 something female reader one shot, where even though they are in a relationship , the reader is shy and scared to talk or tell Veronica things because Veronica has a very dominant personality. So when Veronica figures this out from someone else, maybe Spencer, she goes and confronts the reader about it ( in a concerned type of why) so Veronica decides to show her how much she loves her and it gets spicy. I know you don’t write smut, so however far you are comfortable with taking it is fine with me.
Love you and no pressure whatsoever to get this done❤️
Authors note: Here's the first part of the story. Don't worry, the second part will be uploaded in five minutes right after this one! ♥
ᕚ---ᕘ
Veronica Hastings and Spencer sat at dinner together, the dining table was finely set as the warm light from the ceiling lamp bathed the room in a cozy and inviting atmosphere and the gentle clinking of dishes and cutlery filled the quiet silence. The older one turned the pages of her files while, experienced in the nuances of life, she occasionally looked at her daughter with loving eyes.
The smells of freshly prepared food enveloped the two woman, but the anticipation of dinner and the quiet moment was accompanied by the seriousness and tension of a difficult case that the older woman had just landed. The experienced lawyer had been handling a particularly difficult case and it was obvious that she could not wait to share her thoughts with her daughter, who still young and so full of curiosity, looked at her mother impatiently, waiting to hear what she was thinking.
"Is the case really that difficult?" she asked with a gentle tone, her eyes curiously glued to the white paper, hoping to decipher something overhead.
Veronica sighed slightly and began to describe her impressions of the challenging case. "Complicated litigation that raises many ethical and legal questions," she explained with passionate conviction, and the brunette listened intently as her mother laid out the details that had occupied her mind throughout the day. “My client claims that the company BioGenesis used her genetic data to develop medication without her consent.”
“And what does the company think about that?” the younger brunette asked, taking a sip from her glass. As they worked on their plates together, the conversation developed deeper and Spencer listened intently to her mother, letting her mind wander further about the case.
"The defendant denies the allegations and maintains that my client gave tacit consent. My client never expressly consented to her genetic data being used for research.” she answered bluntly, surprised by her daughter's pointed questions to get a better understanding of the matter. For Spencer it was a fascinating insight into the world of law. "But she participated in several clinical trials without objecting to the use of her data. She provided all the necessary consent forms without reading the fine print."
As the conversation about the case progresses, it becomes clear to Spencer why you were so afraid to tell your girlfriend some of the things that were occupying your thoughts. Her mother had a strong and dominant personality and spoke with a wide range of conviction and confidence that influenced some people to be afraid of her.
"Mom, I admire you for your determination and commitment to justice, but now I know why y/n is afraid to talk to you about certain things and tends to come to me instead," spoke the younger brunette carefully, and dropped the fork back on the plate to fully delve into the topic. Even before you started dating her mother and showed up as just a friend, she had taken you into her heart and treated you like a full member of the family.
Spencer had watched her mother slowly but surely fall for you, and she was happy about it, which is why she hated watching you hide things from her that you should normally discuss openly with her. But she knew from the start that it was not your fault but rather Veronica's personality that made you shy away.
"Spencer, what do you mean by that?" she had now received her mother´s full attention as the lawyer closed her files and pushed them far to the side. With an not entirely understanding look, she cocked her head to the side and smiled, but it was more of a thoughtful than a sincere smile. Despite her intelligence, she did not know exactly how to understand the sentence, which had left Spencer´s mouth.
"Well, in the position of a lawyer, you sometimes forget to put aside your dominant personality at home. That does not mean that you are not empathetic or compassionate towards y/n, but sometimes you scare her just a little bit."
Her eyes were wide and she suddenly seemed agitated and slightly shocked by the last bit of the sentence. She puts her hand to her forehead and rubs her wrinkles as if trying to organize her thoughts. Her expression holds disbelief. Focusing on one object, she stares at the steaming coffee that had caught her attention.
“I never really realized it.” Veronica watched the steam rising from her cup before burying her face in her hands, shaking her head agitatedly. "How long have you known?" she added the direct question to her previous sentence. Raising her head only slowly and distractedly, Veronica looked directly into her daughter's eyes, but her expression remained stone.
"A few months. We have-"
"And you never told me anything about it? You know how important it is to me to do everything right with her so that I can hopefully have her by my side forever," the brunette said sadly, feeling upset that Spencer had not informed her right away. The younger one nodded ashamedly, feeling guilty for not saying anything. She simply did not want to interfere in her mother's relationship, knowing that it was never the right solution. "I am sorry, Mom. I did not want to-"
"Interfering? I know, do not worry. I am not mad at you, I am just afraid I will lose her if I do not show her that she does not have to be afraid of me if something bothers her and that she can talk to me."
#veronica hastings x you#veronica hastings x reader#veronicahastings#veronica hastings#veronicahastings x you#veronicahastings x reader#veronica hastings fanfic#veronica hastings fanfiction#veronica hastings oneshot#veronica hastings one shot#veronica hastings imagine#veronica hastings imagines#veronicahastings fanfic#veronicahastings fanfiction#veronicahastings oneshot#veronicahastings one shot#veronicahastings imagine#veronicahastings imagines#pll imagines#pll fanfiction#pll fanfic#pll girls#pretty little liars fanfic#pretty little liars fanfiction#prettylittleliars#pretty little liars#pretty little liars x you#pretty little liars x reader#pretty little liars imagine#pretty little liars imagines
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ANONYMOUS PLEASE <3 I’m at my wit’s end with my mother. I wanted to complain about her fatphobia, and I also wanted to you thank you for how reading here has helped me and my sisters.
I’m a small fat in my 40s. I’ve been a bigger fat, and I’ve also been very, very skinny. I developed anorexia at about age 6 due to the usual issues one develops that from and was thinner than thin until I finally started to actually recover. I got very fat very quickly on the drugs I was put on, then dropped down in size to small fat once I stabilized and didn’t need them. No idea what my “comfortable” or “natural” size would have been without so much damage, but I’m going to guess “about this”, since it’s what I am when I’m neither restricting to the point of heart damage, nor on drugs that also made me sick in many other ways. For me, a comfortable size is the size I have when I’m not actively altering it in ways that hurt me, so I’m not going to question it.
My next younger sister, however, is a bigger fat, and pretty much always has been. In her 30s, she’s fat in a way that does restrict her clothing options and employment (she once told me that an interviewer had given her “feedback” on a job interview, and it was that she looked “sloppy”. She was wearing perfectly nice, clean, pressed, professional clothes- and expensive clothes of course, as that’s the rule for bigger clothes as we know. She was just fat in them.) Being “healthy” doesn’t really matter to this - and indeed if it did I wouldn’t have half of this rant - but she is. Fit and strong, great at physical things like endurance sports in a way I never have been. She is also perhaps the most self-aware and level-headed person I have ever met about stuff like this. When what people say bothers her, she will discuss her feelings and not try to hide them or their impact, but she will also deconstruct, and conclude that what the person has said is stupid. So it’s like she neither tries to pretend she’s immune to harm, nor allows others to be right in hurting her.
And she eats exactly what she wants, and since we’re both autistic this also includes pickiness on sensory stuff - she doesn’t eat what she doesn’t want to, and does eat what she does. She was a great person to be around during my recovery, even though I never even mentioned to her at the time that I was in it (I didn’t tell anyone in my family about it until years later,) just because she made food such a non-issue.
And our mother will not shut up about her size. Our mother is also fat, we’re a fat family, but my mother decided years ago that I am the one to make my sister “address her weight.” I literally left the country to get away from my family (not related to this specifically) and she STILL emails me about it. I don’t respond to those emails. I DO have lovely chats with my beloved sister on Skype though.
I have tried all your scripts with my mom before - the team here have SO many great scripts that have worked wonderfully for me in other situations, like work or friend groups. I have told my mother I don’t agree, many times backed up with sources (sources thanks to you!) I have told her I’m not interested in the conversation and have hung up or walked away when she has persisted. I’ve called her out when she tries it on in public on multiple occasions. She will not stop. She is convinced that my extremely wonderful, fit and thriving, very happy sister is at death’s door. She’s also convinced that I, a person who has been repeatedly hospitalized for ED and the mental complications that caused it (which she now knows all about, and in fact did visit me in hospital the last time I was in, which was only a few years ago by the way) am the person to talk to her about it and make her see the error of her ways. My sister and I talk quite openly about this, and we’re both agreed our mother is full of shit and we’ll both be ignoring this. We both have also decided to persist in having a relationship with her, though with BIG boundaries around it. (Trust me, this fat bullshit is the thin edge of the wedge with her, and we’re both VERY exacting about when we will talk to her and what about. But we also both love our mother, and she’s the only parent we have.) The thing I’m most struggling with I think is that as I said, our mother is also fat. I actually feel some real sympathy here as I’m aware she’s clearly projecting her own issues on both of her daughters, but god is it mean. She couldn’t see how sick I was when I was skinny, even though I was very literally beginning to die (in fact, all she had to say to me was to mention my weight when I got fat) and she can’t see how happy my sister is in her life, because she’s fat so can’t possibly be happy, and she’s still, now, as perhaps some last gasp of control, attempting to make us fight each other over it.
It hasn’t worked, thankfully, and it never will.
My mom has many other issues, I’m sure, but my god, it is sometimes quite astounding to look at what hell fatphobia hath wrought on my mom’s psyche and ideas of being a parent. I’m grateful my sister(s) and I instead read blogs like this so we’ll hopefully pass a lot less of this on. So I guess this rant is half a complaint and half a thanks. It’s been really helpful to be able to come here and read, for both of us (and our younger sisters as well, who we are steadily converting), to remind ourselves that mom’s wrong. My sister is fat and an exceptional person. I’m fat now too, and the world didn’t end (and in fact actually got a lot better.) Our mom is just plain fucking wrong. Anyway, thank you. I know you’re not planning to be as active with new posts lately, but please know that you’ve been wonderful this whole time, and keeping your archives up is of immense help to at least this one group of sisters. It's been awesome to relay one of the younger ones to an older post from time to time (actually quite a few times!) Note: I wanted to tag ED as I do mention it but I don't see it in the list of tags under submission. I tagged "trigger warning", "Weightloss", and "food" to hopefully cover it.
Apologies for the first post of this.
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